#but one can abandon a fic for any number of reasons (ONE OF WHICH IS LACK OF ENGAGEMENT BTW IT'S REALLY DEMOTIVATING ESP WITH MULTICHAPS)

[mishkakagehishka]

I've left a few fics unfinished and ended them with a "well, i'm abandoning this - but you guys can have my notes to get the general idea on how i planned the story to go and the ending to be :)" you can ask an author that. Do you know that. If you're that desperate, shoot the author a quick ask like "hey, sorry to bother, but [fic] was so good, i just got to the last update and i love it so much, but it left me curious! if you'd like to share, did you have any specific plan for its ending? thanks in advance, love your writing style btw :D" and they might even tell you. Did you know that writers are people and you shouldn't feed their fucking writing into an AI just bc you wanted to see (an inferior version of) the ending for their fic.

[ds9anonkinkmeme]

Interest check

Hi, just doing an interest check for an idea we have about making a DS9 anon kink meme! A kink meme is an ongoing prompt event where people can anonymously request fics and others can choose to anonymously fill any prompts they feel inspired by.

See below the poll for our initial thoughts on pros and cons and considerations.

On ao3 we could very easily set up a prompt collection open for anyone to add prompts or fill prompts anonymously. But we don’t know how easy it is to maintain momentum on an ao3 prompt collection. Maybe that doesn’t matter and it can be an ephemeral thing until people forget about it and it becomes inactive, and then the next generation of folks in the fandom can start up their own new one in a few years haha. If we do it on ao3, should we make subcollections for individual “seasons” or “rounds” (there would likely be no actual deadlines, it would just be whatever length of time it takes for the list of prompts to get too long and unwieldy to be usable), or should we have people put all the prompts into a single collection that just grows and grows and grows?

On dreamwidth there would be comment threads so there would be a way to anonymously register enthusiasm for a prompt even before it gets written, which seems really good for encouragement and feeding off of each other’s hype. (Dreamwidth might also tell you when new comments are added to the community, unlike prompt collections on ao3?) But we are less familiar with dreamwidth so we aren’t sure there’s enough ds9 fandom hanging out there (or willing to make an account there) to sustain it over there.

Tumblr doesn't seem like an option for a number of reasons (can't post fully anonymously to tumblr except via asks, and having everything be done via asks would make it difficult to organize and connect prompts with fills because to keep them both anon they'd have to be separated, and tumblr is a website with a famously terrible search function).

If a DS9-focused kink meme already exists, we’d love to hear about it! We’ve found a few seemingly inactive ones in our research. But if there’s an active one out there, we could absolutely just pivot to supporting/participating in that, instead of making our own thing and dividing up the fandom’s energies. (Another question we don’t know the answer to: Is it possible/desirable to work on reviving one of those inactive ones, just by encouraging a collective effort to start participating in one again? Or do we think the mods of these inactive ones have abandoned them and might be stressed out to suddenly see new activity?)

If you have something to say but don’t want to say it publicly, we also have an anonymous, slightly expanded google form version (that can be found in our pinned post) with space to leave freeform feedback. You can vote in one or both forms of this poll, depending on what you feel like.

We’d very much appreciate reblogs to spread this poll around since we just made this account, but no pressure to do so. We still want your vote in the poll if you’re interested in this idea, even if you don’t want to reblog a post about it. <3

Anyway, if you have any thoughts on this DS9 kink meme idea (or messages of encouragement!!!), please feel free to send them in! <3

[aethon-recs]

Love the blog!

Wondering if you have any Tomarry/Harrymort case-fic/mystery recs?

Thanks so much for the ask! I also can’t get enough of the casefic/mystery genre.

Usually I throw together a mix of both WIPs (why WIPs?) and complete fics, but for this set of 15 recs, I selected for fics which are either complete or still actively updating, so as not to leave you on a cliffhanger on a mystery fic! A few of these fics are outright casefics, and a few of these have a mystery component where the big reveal comes to light as the story unfolds. Hope you enjoy!

*

Tomarrymort Mystery Recs

aurora polaris by @aglassroseneverfades (E, 153k, WIP)

Harry wakes up one day with no memory of his past, upon which he’s greeted by a handsome, doting older man named Gaunt who claims that he and Harry have been in a relationship together for years. 

Blood in the wine by @girl-with-goats (E, 31k, complete)

Tom Riddle achieves immortality by the means of vampirism. Enter young copper Harry Potter, fresh recruit from Scotland Yard, sent to investigate the mysterious disappearances of all the young men who uncannily look like him.

Corpse Party: Hogwarts Edition by @robinegberts (E, 67k, complete)

Harry, Hermione, and Ron skip the Halloween feast, only to wake up to a world where the castle isn’t right. It’s cold, empty, quiet. The layers of dust suggest it’s been abandoned for years. And outside the classroom lies the corpse of a girl who went missing years ago. As they wander the halls of this strange alternate version of Hogwarts, they encounter corpse after corpse, warnings left behind by the dead, and for some reason Harry feels they’re being followed.

Dead Leaves on a Wet October Day by @trelloreads (T, 29k, complete)

Harry is a ghost hunter. Riddle Manor is his strangest case yet.

Everything We Dream Can Be Real by @vdoshu (E, 52k, complete)

Harry had a life after Voldemort. He had a family. He had a career. And then one day it was all ripped away when he woke up at Number 4 Privet Drive. Or: Where Harry doesn’t exactly get that chance to do it over again. And things are Not Okay.

Keepsake by IceLynx (M, 5k, complete)

“I am Lord Voldemort, and I have not kidnapped you.” “That's... I should have known that.” Because Voldemort's words ring true, deep in Harry's heart. Harry tries to remember, but the thoughts won't come to him. The more he forces it, the more obvious the gaps in his memories become. “Why didn't I know that?”

Let's Cross Over by @whisprchrysalis (M, 251k, complete)

A hundred years after the end of the Second War, Harry Potter, Master of Death, unwittingly helps the last fragment of Lord Voldemort’s soul escape Limbo. Now, bound to Tom Riddle for the next five years, Harry has to coexist with the man he feared the most. Or: Auror MOD Harry and Tom Riddle strike an uneasy truce and solve crimes together, and Harry has to decide if his capacity to save everyone includes everyone, really.

love seeping from their guns by @purplemineralwater (E, 41k, complete)

Detective Harry Potter is just trying to enjoy his holiday when the tranquility of the lovely cruise along the Nile is shattered by the discovery that Theodore Nott has been shot. He was young, rich and beautiful, a boy that had everything – until he lost his life. Or: Harry investigates some murder, Tom tries to help, everyone has many, many secrets.

No Body, No Crime by @duplicitywrites (M, 20k, complete)

Harry works as a car mechanic in a small town. He and Ginny are best friends, their close bond the product of a traumatic event that scarred them both as children. One day, Ginny confides in Harry that she thinks her husband—the charming, enigmatic Tom Riddle—is cheating on her. A day later, Ginny goes missing. Harry is convinced that Tom is behind her disappearance, and becomes determined to exact justice by any means necessary.

One Year In Every Ten by @saintsenara (E, 165k, WIP)

A decade after the final battle, just when the wizarding world thinks itself safe, a serial killer emerges, leaving a trail of dead women in his wake. Each of the bodies bears a gruesome message for the Aurors. A message which claims the Dark Lord has risen again. All Harry wants is something to distract him from a marriage falling apart at the seams. Maybe his latest plan to save the world, requiring Lord Voldemort to agree to turn his talents in the realm of wrongdoing to solving the case, will be just the thing…

Personal Assistant by @phantomato (E, 10k, complete)

Harry receives a mysterious package. Inside is a ring. A weird, ugly, old one made of gold and some kind of black stone.

Reconciling with Death by Madame_Psychosis (M, 27k, complete)

Featuring a dead girl in a forest, little-soldier-boys, some tenuous grasps on reality, straw mothers, a ghost in a bathroom and, slowly and sadly, kindness from a boy who’s just passing through time.

The Matchmaker by @eris-dawn (M, 44k, complete)

The Matchmaker is a serial abductor whose modus operandi consists of pairing two same-sex individuals together in a coffin, six feet underground - buried alive. He isn't a killer. He's a kidnapper with morals, and Detective Chief Inspector Tom Riddle finds himself obsessed with solving the case. Unfortunately for Tom, the Matchmaker is just as intent on knowing him.

Tom Riddle and the Quest for Vulnerability by lejf (E, 16k, complete)

They found him in an old house, under the stairs. His face was pale and instantly recognisable. aka: Auror Harry Potter has eighteen-year-old Tom Riddle bent over the table barely a day after he becomes his ward.

Wings of Ash by IceLynx (M, 31k, complete)

If eight people going missing isn't cause enough for panic, one of them being found dead might do it. The Ministry of Magic has no choice but accept all the help on offer, including that of former Auror Harry Potter. For Harry, it might be a chance to get his job back, if he can only crack the case first. Surely Harry can be forgiven if he too takes all the help that's offered. Including that of his pet snake, the former Dark Lord Voldemort.

*

[partywithoutsmiling]

Alright darling (can i call you that?) the Rock Beast AU just became my new ✨️hyperfixation✨️ so prepare! Please tell us how does John reacts to his bitty B becoming a Monster

Once he actually finds out who the great Beast is, not very well obviously XD

But if that AU would be a fic, it would be at least couple chapters down the line. My idea for Poppy's and Branch's escape is that while at first they crossed quite a distance through air, soon they were forced to travel by foot, as Branch's wing becomes injured and trying to take flight again would be foolish.

A blessing in disguise it turns out, as the Rock Trolls under Barb's command do not think to stop and search the ground, not that close to their territory, and our duo hides out of sight in the undegrowth, just to see their Angler Ships pass overhead, clearly heading towards the Pop territory

(the thought for this AU being that Barb is convinced that Pop poses exactly the same amount of threat as it did in the ancient past, where they were the most numerous, and seeing the pitiful number of Pop trolls rounded up, figures there must be more Pop villages hidden deep inside the woods that make their territory- so it would make sense to her to think Poppy and Branch went to get more back up- which is correct in a way, as Branch's intention was to fly them all the way to Bergentown, as having giants for allies would become handy in this case)

Meeting John Dory was a complete accident. Headcanoning that he had bad business with the Rock Trolls in the past, he probably decided to skeddadle into the wilderness once he saw the activity in the sky, not wanting to deal with that business- and I liked the idea that the Neverglades were actually a sort of natural border between Pop and Rock, a contested piece of land for both. Usually quite content to sleep out and about, either under stars or in Rhonda, the storm and all the chaos happening around him has him relocate to well known and explored caves- in which he finds Poppy and Branch, who sort of unanimously decide to keep their travelling to the night time, where it gives them less chance to be spotted.

Neither group is thrilled to be discovered by the other, at first- John Dory simply on the principle that lone trolls seems to be bounty hunters more often than not (and this one has a literal monster by her side!) and Poppy... well, for the exact same reason really XD she had been burned by her trust in a stranger- one that led her into this mess she is in- and the source of her major guilt is standing right behind her.

However, compared to JD, she is injured; an unexpected dip in the lake left her feeling sickly, and she is starving- and Branch is hardly doing any better. So it all ends up in a rather tense stand off, where Branch is the only one spiralling, because holy shit that's his brother

And he wants to wail and he wants to sink his claws into JD's face and tear that smug ass grin off his face- and it's the shock of that thought that has him to do neither of those things, and instead forces him to evaluate the situation a bit better.

Because for all JD's abandonment, he is a Pop Troll- and that means a potential ally- and so it is with a gentle nuzzle that he sooths Poppy's unvoiced fears and worries, and encourages her to ask JD for help

The introductions come, of course- but Poppy doesnt mention that Branch is a troll-turned-beast, and while JD's expression turns rather strained at hearing Branch's name, there is nothing that would clue him in that Branch is *his* Branch (His precious baby brother, who he thinks is dead for several years, and being an expert at avoidance of painful truths, there is no way he is sharing that with a complete stranger)

So as far he knows, Poppy's "pet" just has a rather unfortunate name, and Branch's colours are again rather washed out.

Branch just doesnt want to deal with the mess that is his familial trauma and is quite relieved JD doesnt have a clue to his original identity

(of course Poppy, desperate to socialize after being locked up with no-one but mute Branch for company, ends up bonding with JD rather quickly- especially after he treats her wounds and offers her a safe shelter- and finding his collection of memorabilia snowballs into discovering his identity as THE John Dory- and Branch's connection to it all, when John Dory, unable to resist the force that is Poppy, eventually talks about all his brothers- including Bitty B)

Also, this isn't connected to that scene, but even then I think you would enjoy this little treat:

----------------------

Branch was injured.

That much Poppy could observe, from the simple way he was carrying himself.

The rush of their escape didn’t seem to want to pass; the pink troll felt like every breath came out with accompanied tremble, and her heart was keen on making itself as loud as possible- it drummed hard in her ears and pulsed in tandem with the ache that throbbed mutely through her sore arm.

The sudden dive and crash into the murky depths of the lake jostled it- but at the time, her mind was hardly crystal clear enough to focus on anything but uncoordinated flailing as she panicked from the shock of the chilling water, trying to instinctively kick herself up to get to the surface. A great deal of her attention had also been overtaken by fear; for her life, yes, but also for Branch, as she had seen him seize up in one blink and then start falling out of the sky in another, his grip on her- previously strong and secure- now limp and weak, a puppet losing all motion as if its strings were suddenly cut.

Yet it was him who dragged her out of the lake in the end, his great head going under her belly and chest and lifting her high above the surface, leaving her clutching onto his mane with painful grip, gasping and sputtering, a sob roughly tearing through her throat before she could stop it. The sudden relief of air filling her lungs once more was not enough to mask the sudden pain that laced through her right arm, and Poppy had sobbed once more, clenching her eyes shut, burying her face into the soggy mess of Branch’s hair.

Low rumbling moan echoed from the beast under her, the strength of it- for all that it was quiet- reaching all the way to her core- but she was unable to do anything but breathe, the action shallow and painful, as her arm throbbed throbbed throbbed.

Vaguely, she felt the chilling water lapping at her legs, and her ears twitched at the sound of soft splashes- the body under her rocking forward, Branch’s breath just as shallow as hers, but clearly now moving, swimming, towards what she hoped was dry land.

The sky crackled, a thunder left in the wake of it, and she shivered when a first drop splashed against her back, bringing a shock of ice to her already drenched body. Another moan and Branch lurched forward, his swimming now gaining urgency- even in this shape, he was well aware of the danger that rain possessed for species as small as theirs, especially when it caught them on a lake. The prickle of unease was what had her force herself to lift her herself up, her good arm gripping Branch’s mane more firmly while held the other more securely to her chest.

Already the drops were breaking the surface apart, the water splashing up and sending waves that clearly impeded her friend’s progress; one that seemed to be made difficult simply for the fact that Branch had extra set of limbs that were hardly made for swimming- with one wing flapping or paddling awkwardly to help propel forward, while her other followed at much slower pace. It was the trembles and shakes that seemed to run through the appendage that caused Poppy’s heart to plummet to the depths of her stomach.

“Branch..?”

He voice was a pathetically weak and wobbly thing- there has been a shock, followed by euphoria, when her companion suddenly ripped through the bars dividing their cells like knife through butter. His cell had been a dark and dreary place, cut away from any natural light- hers had a large barred window that showed nothing but the menacing glow of the volcano, its fiery tones casting orange hues into the grim, cloudy looking sky. She had often caught him watching through the gaps of his cell, great glowing red eyes focused intently on the singular glimpse of freedom, and many times wondered if his sudden critter like instincts urged him to take flight. He did many things in the time they had nothing but each other for company, that could hardly hint that his interest could have other reasons. He prowled around, as much as his chains allowed him, and quite often his wings would flap. His claws would flex and his limbs would stretch- and Poppy had thought it a simple restlessness of a trapped animal, frustrated at the lack of necessary space.

She had thought. She didn’t expect it to be a slow exploration and familiarization of foreign limbs and muscles- not until she had been scooped up like kittenbug, and not until they were hurling face first through the window, Branch simply tucking his head closer to his body and tearing through it like a single-troll battering ram.

“Branch,” she whispered again, the sound trailing into a low moan, not unlike his own- but he didn’t respond, not even with a growl- not until she let go of his mane so she could gingerly touch the trembling wing.

The limb flinched and Branch went stiff under her for a moment, soft warning hiss audible even through the loudness of the storm- and though he didn’t stop his swimming, Poppy withdrew her hand as if burned, realizing that now perhaps wasn’t the best time to find out where his hurts were coming from.

“I’m sorry,” her apology was quick and strained ,“I’m sorry, Branch, I’m sorry-“ and the water was now blurring her vision, and perhaps it was her tears and not the rain, and perhaps her ill timed touch was not what she was apologizing for.

But Branch suddenly made a soft chuff, and his head twisted to peer back at her, the lamp like glow of his red eyes more comforting than one would expect. But Poppy hardly felt unnerved by the sight of them- not when she couldn’t feel any drop of malice, and the pink troll heaved a shuddering breath, bowing forward so she could reach and gently rub one of the Beast’s long ears. The appendage flicked, and his eyes blinked slowly, another chuff falling from his lips, before he turned to face forward again, his swimming seemingly becoming more determined.

Poppy swallowed and closed her eyes, her exhale a tad less shaky than before.

They will be okay. They have to be.

[nellielsss]

ƈɧąʂıŋɠąŋɠɛƖʂ.ƈơɱ ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-

Summary: where lonely hearts can congregate & explore new, exciting taboos! what do you get when you pair a lonely divorcée with an equally lonely girl? find out here, at chasingangels.com! Note: I saw a janitor AI bot that was like a dating app and was inspired to write this, I also just wanted to write about the issues of finding a good match as a trans girl! y'know, since a lot of us tend to fuck w DL men 💀 reader is also kinda Gyaru-coded in terms of appearance but she's not fully immersed in Gyaru culture. Warnings: website is implied to be for chasers (men who go after trans women specifically), protected sex, rough sex, kinda angst + comfort Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x mtf!reader WC: 14.5k words... yeah I'm not proofreading this ☠️ if it has bad grammar or cringy dialogue anywhere my apologies!!! this fic took me like 5 days so I'm glad to be done w it

╰┈➤ "And... still nobody worth it," you sighed, clicking off from the website that you'd spent weeks surfing through. You put your laptop back in your Hello Kitty computer sleeve, put it in your purse, and went on your way.

The website you'd decided to put your love life line on the line for, chasingangels.com, was proving to be a hopeless endeavor. Every single day, the thought about abandoning that stupid, niche website and going back to your past days of Grindr seemed more enticing the longer you spent your time alone. The website that promised trans girls like you with a promising love life was turning out to be a gimmick, probably made to steal your data so that it could be sold to some third party buyer. It's not like it mattered to you--you didn't have nuclear codes saved on your device--but it was just so tiring.

All of it was so tiring.

All your life, you'd been quite lonely, a fact that your headstrong nature refused to admit. You grew up with everything a girl like you could've possibly hoped for: you had a loving family who accepted you for your transgender identity, plenty of friends who also accepted you, and all the money needed to buy you your expensive makeup & hormones that you'd need to become the woman you always wanted to be. Truth be told, you were quite blessed in every facet of life--you were beautiful enough before starting the hormones to pass for a cisgender woman!

But, sadly, the only facet you lacked in was love.

A curse was bestowed upon you at birth: the curse of a male body, and that same curse was the reason you never had any prospects.

The moment you told a guy about your condition, he'd run away without a second thought. Either they blocked you or did a 180 and asked you if they could play with your... male genitalia.

The few who chose to stay only ever did so by texting you after 11 PM, and the most they did was ask you for sexual favors instead. Not once did a guy hold you while wept; not once did a guy want to bring you home to mama; not once did a guy talk to you for more than a month. And what was most humiliating was you'd only ever talked to three guys--a low, single-digit number!

By the time you graduated college and entered the workforce, nothing changed, absolutely nothing. If anything, your prospects shrank, and you weren't even talking to a single guy over the phone. You were hopeless, utterly hopeless in the romantic department.

"Don't worry about it, you're too good for any man's attention!"

Said the girl with a loving boyfriend of a year.

"You already have a high paying job and a pretty face to boot, what more could you possibly want?"

Maybe the touch of a loving partner?

You were hopeless. Hopeless enough to put your trust in some shady website that one of your friends told you about, which led you to the website known as chasingangels.com. You were beginning to believe that this was all some elaborate emotional ponzi scheme, set up by people who took pleasure in breaking trans girls' hearts.

"Is it my profile?" you thought to yourself on the train. You were currently on the train to Omotesando, meeting up with said girlfriend who recommended you the site. You went under the guise of trying out a new restaurant, but in actuality you were gonna chew her out for getting your hopes up, get a beverage on the way home, and then watch some Shōjo before going to bed.

And all in a day's time... truth be told, these were what your days consisted of outside of work: drinks, meetups, and romance anime. Though most people would've looked down upon you for living such a monotonous life, you found solace in it.

There wasn't much a girl like you could do except spend her hard-earned money on snacks & clothes. Perhaps you'd get lucky and stop by a Hello Kitty store along the way? Maybe you could even adopt another cat just to be less lonely.

The loud ding! of a notification in your airpods made you jerk up in surprise, and you immediately grabbed your phone. Most apps weren't important enough to have a sound notification on, so you wondered what it could possibly be.

Wait, why were you so surprised? It was probably just an SMS message from your friend. You calmed yourself down, unlocked your phone, and swiped through your notifications until you saw it.

That godforsaken website--you made a mental note to delete it later.

👼 chasingangels.com

ミ☆ You have 1 New Message!

Tojifushiguro1: Hey there, saw your profile and thought you looked cute. Wanna get a drink & get to know each other better?

A guy who used punctuation and capitalization? He must've been old, definitely not your-

You let out an audible gasp on the train when you clicked on his profile, and you also had to turn down the brightness on your phone as well, because the profile that you just tapped on?

The profile was enough for you to make your cross your legs together.

This guy--Toji Fushiguro--was a fucking wet dream.

With shaky hands and a pounding heart, you sifted through the seven photos that he'd put up on his profile. They were all a bit shitty with bad lighting or they were taken by other people, but goddamn was that a man!

For starters, his face must've been crafted by Narcissus himself. A strong bone structure, green eyes that pierced into an onlooker's soul, and that delicious scar on his lip that only added to his appeal. He had some wrinkles underneath his eyes, no doubt indicating that he was a bit older than you.

The next photo almost made you choke on your own spit in the train. It was a full body shot of him standing up with a guy (whose face he made sure to blur out), and by god was he the definition of an adonis even with clothes on. Just by standing still w/ a straight face without doing anything extra, you could make out some broad shoulders, arms that were probably bigger than your head, traps that tapered into a thin, toned waist, and a thick, muscular chest that you just wanted to lay your head on!

When you got to the shirtless photos you had to put your phone away for a good second before looking at the rest of his profile. His body was a marble statue straight out of the Roman Empire, complete with shredded abs, intense vasculature, and everything else that a girl could want in a man's body.

You knew that where you lived, the ideal male standard was more feminine than masculine, therefore you knew that finding a man like him was like finding a tiny shard of a diamond deep inside of a coal mine. Coincidentally, he was also exactly your type, so every atom in your body screamed at you to get on it and reply!

But you were rational; you didn't think with your pussy. You looked at all the photos in detail to get a better idea of what he was like, and you also examined his bio for any red flags. So far, the only ones that stuck out to you were his single father status & the fact that he was on a dating site designed for connecting men with trans women--the name literally had the verb "chase" in it!

°•. ★ .•° Tojifushiguro1's FAQ:

Age: 35

Sexuality: straight

Marital status: divorced w/ 1 kid

Likes: UFC fights, fishing, 90s rock, a good beer

Looking for: a girl who knows how to have fun & also get serious, someone mature.

Yeah, he totally fit the image he portrayed. He might've only been 35 but he typed like a boomer with the lack of description in his bio & the message that was chalked full of grammar and proper spelling. The images he'd included in his profile were also so very different from the design and aesthetic of this website, it almost made you laugh.

This man could also be catfishing you, so you made sure to do a quick reverse search...

... and nothing. Wow, so this guy really existed, and he also really wanted you.

Wait a damn minute. He, an adonis, with probably more prospects than a computer science student's job offers, wanted you: a girl who couldn't get dick to save her life?!

What kind of an idiot were you--get on with it already!!

With shaky fingers, you opened his message and looked at it over & over again. If you didn't reply, then you'd be safe, but you'd also potentially miss out on something exciting; however, if you did reply, then the trajectory of your life could possibly change forever.

With even shakier fingers, you typed out a response to his dm:

automaticprincess7: Hi! I'm so glad you clicked on my profile out of all the others--I would love to meet up with you somewhere! Although, I gotta warn you: I don't drink much... maybe a coffee shop would be nicer?

tojifushiguro1 is typing...

Oh god, he was already typing that out?! He did send the initial message two minutes ago...

tojifushiguro1: I'll go anywhere if it means I get to see that pretty face in person ;)

Just in the second message alone, he was laying on the charm, you could see that much. He didn't seem like the type of guy to hold out on what he wanted or beat around the bush--just your type. You hated guys your age for playing games and stringing you along for no reason, so you welcomed the change of pace.

automaticprincess7: Fushiguro!! Ur already making me blush while I'm on the train... >///<

tojifushiguro1: I can't wait to make you blush even harder in person, doll. Why don't we meet up tomorrow? I ain't got work, so I'm free all day long.

Tomorrow--he wanted to meet with you tomorrow?! But... but that was so quick, you haven't had enough time to even mentally prepare yourself for this hunk of a man!! Then again, what difference does it make if all you're looking for is a guy who'll give you some attention & pipe? Still, you had to play coy--you can't be so forward just yet.

automaticprincess7: but that's so early...

tojifushiguro1: why, you got work tomorrow?

automaticprincess7: no, I'm also free; honestly, truth be told, I've never met up with anyone online like this, especially not from this website.

tojifushiguro1: really? I'd imagined a girl as gorgeous as you would've had plenty of men lining up to take her out for dinner--I was just hoping to be next in line haha.

automaticprincess7: well, not exactly...!

tojifushiguro1: so this means I'll be the one to pop your internet cherry, huh? Well then, ain't I a lucky guy?"

automaticprincess7: ewww, don't call it that!!

tojifushiguro1: I'm just messin' with ya, doll. Anyway, does tomorrow work? I'll need to find a babysitter for the kid soon, so I need a yes or no.

Right, he was a single father... still, he was just so enigmatic, so attractive, you'd be a fool to let it go to waste over him having a child.

automaticprincess7: yeah, tomorrow's fine. I guess I was just nervous ( ๑´⌓ `๑ )

tojifushiguro1: it's no biggie, cutie. Since it's your first time meeting with a stranger online, I can imagine you'd be scared. So, let's say 6? And what place works best for you? We can even grab dinner after if you're up for it.

automaticprincess7: there's this one coffee place I like in Harajuku. It's secluded enough for this kinda stuff, and it's close enough to any activities that might be fun: (insert coffee shop name).

tojifushiguro1: overpriced coffee with an angel like you? Heh, sign me up!

automaticprincess7: hey, don't insult them, they have my fav drinks!!

tojifushiguro1: messing with you over text is so fun. Anyway, 6 PM tomorrow at that place? Sounds like a plan. I can't wait to see you in person, gorgeous ;) You & I are gonna have so much fun, doll, just you wait.

automaticprincess7: see you tomorrow, Toji!! (ꈍᴗꈍ)ε｀*)

tojifushiguro1: those lil' emojis you send are so adorable, just like the rest of ya.

You had to put your phone down because of how red your face was. If anyone saw you in this state, they'd probably think that you were deathly feverish and needed to go to the hospital, but if you spent the night with him, you probably would need to.

Your mind was reeling with everything that had just happened. The prospect of meeting a guy for the first time; the prospect of going on a date with an insanely hot guy; the prospect of going home & having sex with said insanely hot guy; and the prospect of it leading to something better. You knew your prayers of this working out would fall on deaf ears and that this guy was probably in it for just the sex, but there was this feeling, this voice in your head telling you to go for it.

Normally, you'd ignore that said voice, but maybe following that voice would bring some color back into your life.

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ Enter Toji Fushiguro

╰┈➤ "Fuckin' christ is that girl adorable," Toji muttered to himself when he put his phone down. "I could just eat her for breakfast, lunch & dinner."

After hopeless hours of surfing through this website "Chasingangels.com" with all of its annoyingly bright colors and cutesy aesthetics, Toji had finally settled on a girl who he felt was worth the trouble of reaching out to. All these other profiles he'd swiped on were either not his type or were looking for a good time, not a long time, so when he finally found you, he felt like he'd just won big at the horse races he quit going to. Seriously, you were such a stroke of luck that he considered going out to gamble.

But, after his late wife had died, and after he'd made that promise to quit all his vices, he wasn't actually gonna go gamble his savings away.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand: your profile.

Even after he put his phone down to clear his mind, he reached for it & continued looking at your profile, his green eyes scrutinizing every single detail and just taking it all in. You were gorgeous, that much was true, but there was also something so yummy, so saccharinely sweet about the way you looked at the camera with your raspberry lip gloss and your big brown eyes and your long lashes and your everything that compelled him to DM you.

You... you were just a walking wet dream, you were perfect in every single way. Not only were you insanely attractive, but you also had the right criteria in your bio: your frontal lobe had developed (you were 25) & you were looking for something serious.

Bingo.

But, at the same time, Toji knew good and well that a girl like you was hard to come by, so he sent that DM without any hope of getting one in return. Surely a gorgeous gal like you had plenty of offers, right? He also knew that using a website like this was quite unsavory, even for him. This website, chasingangels.com, was supposed to be a "dating website" for transgender women, but he knew good and well that this site housed some... off individuals.

It was all in the name of the website. Chasing angels? Seriously? The developers couldn't have come up with a better website name that wasn't so fetishizing? Part of him wondered what the hell a girl like you was doing on this site--a site that was meant to give men direct access to trans women. Part of him also wondered why he, himself, was on this website to begin with. Was he seriously turning into one of them, one of those "chasers" that were known to use trans women? And would you categorize him as such?

Those little thoughts of self-doubt were quickly wiped away when you replied within two minutes of him sending that message.

Was fortune finally smiling upon him? Were the lonely nights he spent in the company of prostitutes and random flings coming to a close with you?

Were you the angel he's been chasing all this time? And did he finally catch you?

The conversation with you went smoother than expected, if he was being honest. You talked just how you looked: like an angel, with your bashful replies & those cute little emoticons that you used. He made sure to lay on the charm thick, since it was all he knew how to do when he was flirting with a girl he liked, and it paid off because now he had a date with the girl of his dreams tomorrow.

All he had to do now was find a babysitter for little 8 year old Megumi, and he'd be golden.

He promptly exited out of the website and called up his go-to babysitter, Satoru Gojo, to see if he was available for the evening & night. He swore he heard trumpets from heaven when the white-haired man said he'd be available.

He practically got on his knees and looked up at the ceiling. "Whoever you are... thank you."

Next on the agenda would be to prepare for said date tomorrow.

There was no way that this was the same man you talked to online (and no, he didn't catfish you). How could a man be so.... large?!

Flashback to a few hours ago when you were first getting ready for your little date. "I'm going on a date, on a date, on a date~! Oooh, I may be getting some dick tonight~!!" You sang to yourself as you got ready for your date. You were busy putting in your hot rollers, trying to snap them into place so that they wouldn't fall out and potentially burn you.

You didn't sleep a wink during the entire night. The images of that guy, that hunky dilf who you somehow managed to snag before anyone else did. You were honestly pretty surprised that you accomplished such a feat--any girl would be lucky to be underneath that fine specimen! Then again, maybe the people who used the website didn't like big, strong men with a face so rideable that you could probably cum 5 times just by grinding against his nose... either way, you were a lucky, lucky girl!

Once the rollers were in place, you pulled out all the stops to make sure that your makeup was in tip-top shape. A matte, blurring primer (which could be classified as industrial grade); pink cherry blossom setting powder just so that you could look extra pink and girly; a touch of eyelid glitter just to make your eyes sparkle... you even followed an elaborate tutorial on Youtube just so that you could charm him with your eyes.

Everything was coming together perfectly. There were no stray streaks of eyeliner, nor was your makeup crusty or cakey; it was simply perfect.

Taking out your hot rollers, you grabbed a hairbrush and styled it to your liking with a headband, then you spritzed on some perfume and went to pick out the perfect outfit to charm him. Clearly, he had a thing for girly girls, so a pink outfit would do just the trick. Your outfit for the date consisted of a pink puff-sleeve top along with a pleated denim mini-skirt, your signature Tiffany & Co. initial necklace, a charm bracelet, a cute little rhinestone belt and some strappy sandals to complete the look.

You took a good, long look in the mirror and smiled to yourself. It sure was a shame that you being transgender got in the way of a lot of your relationships, and the fact that this was probably just to meet up for sex... but it was still nice to get dolled up.

"What do you think, Cupcake?" you asked your fluffy black cat who had a pink collar around her neck. You scratched your little cat's chin and gave her a few butt pats before standing up again.

You made your way over to the front door of your apartment, put all your belongings in your pink Chanel, and made sure to remember your keys. "Wish me luck," you said to your cat as you left. You locked the door behind you, and set out for the nearest train station.

Which was how you ended up standing outside of the coffee shop that the two of you agreed to meet at. It was an odd time to go to a coffee shop, since most people went in the morning, but not everybody met up with strangers on the internet for sexual favors. You texted Toji that you were here and pushed open the glass doors of the shop.

"He shouldn't be too hard to miss-" you stopped dead in your tracks when you caught sight of the man. To say that he was hot was an understatement, because this man was just delectable.

Oh... my... god." He wasn't, in fact, too hard to miss, since he was A. one of the only patrons there, and B. huge. As in, he took up the entirety of his chair & had to spread his legs around the table so that he wouldn't be uncomfortable. And the best part?

He looked even better in person!!

The simple white sweater that he donned was stretched around his frame, and you could see the outline of his broad shoulders & his traps. The sleeves were rolled up around his forearms, giving you a delicious sight of his thick, veiny forearms, and his big hands that were clutching the menu like it was a little sheet of paper only made you wanna rub your thighs together. His legs were a whole other story: his muscular thighs were stretching his black pants (but not to the extent to where he looked goofy), and all you wanted to do was just sit on his lap!!

Your little rambling was interrupted when he looked up from the menu and right at you. He had a little look of shock on his face for a split second before he cracked a smile, and you felt like butter melting on a hot day from the way he looked at you.

"U-Um, hi," was the first thing you squeaked out to him. Normally, you were a confident girl; but right now, you were reduced to mere prey under the gaze of this man.

"Hey, sweetheart. Please, have a seat." He made the effort to get up and pull your seat out for you, and you offered him a bashful smile.

"Thank you," you all but whispered, letting him push you in. He then took his seat from across the table, and the two of you sat in silence for a few seconds. You could hear the intense, almost unbearable beat of your heart pounding in your ears, and you looked down at the table out of nervousness. Every time you looked up at Toji, your eyes immediately darted back to their original position, and your cheeks got even redder.

"My god, are you pretty," his deliciously raspy voice remarked when he decided to break the silence. "I mean, I bet you get that a lot, but... damn."

You squeaked in response and retreated into yourself further. "I don't get that a lot, but... T-Thank you, F-Fushiguro," you stammered. You were fumbling this date by the second, but it was practically impossible to even talk to this Adonis that was right in front of you.

A few more moments of silence until he decided to speak up again. "Doll, I gotta ask you something: am I really that scary?"

The question made you look at him out of confusion rather than fluster. "Huh? Um... no? Why do you ask?"

He relaxed a little further into his seat and folded his arms over his chest. "Because the entire time we've been on this little date, you've been starin' at the damn table. C'mon, you've gotta give me somethin' to work with here. I wanna get to know you a little bit, pretty!" He said.

You almost felt bad for the guy right about now. Here he was, going on this date that he went out of his way to ask you out on, and you were staring at the table like an idiot.

"I'm sorry," you laughed sheepishly, rubbing the back of your neck, "I'm not really experienced at going on dates... this is the first one I've been on in a while." For whatever reason, this guy made you feel more & more comfortable the longer you were around him.

"Well that makes two of us," he chortled. "I haven't been on one in months, myself. That little website was probably my last resort. If I gave up on it, I would've given up on going on dates altogether."

"Oh, right, you're divorced..." you trailed off, feeling bad for the guy.

He shrugged. "'s nothin'. Haven't seen my ex-wife in ages, anyway; my son and I get along just fine."

"Well, that's good to hear," you smiled at him. "Yeah, I see a lot of single fathers and divorcées passing through that site. Most of them are just ex-pats."

"Really, now?" he asked, cocking his eyebrow. "I would've thought that being a single father makes me more unappealing."

You shrugged. "It doesn't make a difference to me, or the rest of the girls on that site at that. Most people just use that website for hookups, anyway."

His other eyebrow raised, and he looked at you with more curiosity. "Really, now? Huh... I never would've guessed. This whole time, I thought that everyone on there was just an asshole; I didn't think that the site was made for hookups."

"It's not advertised for hookups, but people treat it as such. Most dating sites like that just end up getting used for hookups."

"Hm," he said, looking off to the side. "So what the hell were you doing on that site to begin with?"

This made you look at him with more confusion. "Huh?"

He leaned forward, now putting his forearms on the table. "I mean: what the hell was a pretty girl like you doing on a hookup website?"

"I-I don't use it for hookups!" you said defensively, putting your hands up. "I just... look, it was the only available site for women like me, and I was sick of people on regular dating apps blocking me after I told them that I was trans. I sure as shit didn't wanna use Grindr, so that website was also my last resort. Speaking of, what were you doing on that website if you were looking for more than just hookups?"

Toji shrugged again. "I dunno, honestly. I just went on it without a second thought. I tried other websites out, but none of 'em gave me any results."

You furrowed your brow in confusion. "So you went on a website that was specifically for men who liked trans women...?"

He was a bit caught off guard by your observation, and he rubbed the back of his neck. "The way you're saying it makes me sound like some sorta creep... But, you're not entirely wrong. When I first saw an advertisement for that website, I was intrigued, to say the least. I thought that, since I had so much bad luck on the normal sites, why not try somethin' different? I've always been kinda curious about trans women, too. Part of me wondered what it'd be like to date one, and so I was led to that website."

Your expression slightly fell, and you realized what this guy's deal was. "Oh, so you're... you're one of those guys," you said quite bitterly.

Toji picked up on this and freaked out a little bit. "N-No, I'm not like that! I'm not some fetishizing prick who wants a hookup; I'm just a lonely guy who's looking for something, alright? I've been lonely for so long that I'm willing to try anything with any type of girl. It doesn't matter if she's cis or trans; I just want something--anything, any kind of connection." He took a deep breath, feeling like he was digging himself into a hole the more he spoke. "Fuck... I'm making this worse for myself, aren't I?"

You were now feeling sorry for the guy for a whole different reason. "No, Fushiguro, I get it... dating as a single father must be tough for you. And, I can see the appeal of trying out dating with a different type of woman, expanding your horizons. Even though you might be using a site that hosts a lot of creeps, you're using it with good intentions." Your frown relaxed into a smile, and he felt his heart skip a beat when you smiled at him. "So I guess I won't be getting my hopes down."

Toji gave you another look of shock, and he felt his cheeks heat up just a little--that smile of yours was just so beautiful. His look of shock changed into a smile, and he intertwined one of his fingers with yours. "Well, ain't I a lucky bastard," he chuckled, already easing back into the date. "So, gorgeous, why don't we start over?"

You nodded and smiled brighter at him. "I think we should."

"Good," he hummed, reaching out to shake your hand. "It's nice to meet you, I'm Toji Fushiguro. Mind telling me about yourself, beautiful?"

You giggled at all the pet names and the compliments he was throwing your way. "My name's (Y/N), (L/N), and I don't mind at all."

Maybe... maybe this wouldn't just be a sex thing.

"I've gotta say, doll: meeting up with you has got to be one of the best decisions I've ever made," Toji said as the two of you walked out of the coffee shop together. Naturally, a guy as big as him dwarfed you, and so he had to crane his head just a lil' to look down at you. It's not like you were one of those "I'm so small and fragile!" girls--but next to him, you might as well have been.

'He's so handsome... I'm surprised I could even have a full on conversation with him. Props to myself for not screwing it up!'

He reached out to sling his big arm around your shoulders, and he pulled you into his embrace slightly. "You don't mind if I do this, right?" he purred suavely into your ear. "Sorry if I'm being a lil' too touchy, doll--I'm just not sure what girls like you are into. A lot of people don't like to be touched by people they don't know all that well."

If you were being honest, you were probably one of those people who didn't like physical contact; but with him, you were too into it to say no. "Well, I don't usually touch people like this, but I feel comfortable around you, so do as you please."

"Do as I please?" he repeated, leaning down to tickle your ear with his breath. "I'll make sure to keep that in mind for later."

Your first instinct was to worm your way out of his grasp and away from his seductive tongue, but his grip was so strong that you couldn't even budge. "T-Toji..." this was the first time you used his given name.

He felt his heart skip a beat when you used his name, but he masked it well. "What, doll? Ah, you're so cute when you're nervous... You can't exactly blame a guy for trying, right?" He let his grip loosen just a tad in case you were uncomfortable. "Anyway, where do you think we should head off to next?"

"Hm?" you asked, looking up at him. "You wanna go somewhere now? I thought that we were just going for coffee?"

"You've gotta be kiddin' me, doll... what, you thought that it was just a coffee thing? I ain't letting go of you that quickly," he snorted. "Besides, I've got someone watchin' over my kid for the rest of today & tonight, so my schedule's completely free."

"O-Oh, well I guess that's nice to hear!" you replied, trying to muster up the most confident smile you could. "Well, we are in Harajuku, so there's plenty to do around here."

Toji thought about it for a second. "Hm... to be honest, I'm thinking that we should just head back to my place--if you're up for it, at least. We could also head back to yours, or go to a love hotel. Preferably one that isn't shitty or full of diseases."

You immediately tensed up again when he brought up the idea of taking your date to somewhere more intimate or private. "Y-You don't wanna, like, go to the park or anything?"

He shook his head. "Nah, I don't; too many little shits and dogs running around to stay focused on my pretty date."

And there it was: that skip of the heartbeat when he buttered you up with his nicknames.

"We could also pick up some food on the way there. Y'know, make it more romantic? A full-on date, full of snacks and drinks before we get to the good part?"

You mulled over the different ideas that he proposed. You might've been completely into the guy; however, you weren't stupid. If you went back to his place, then you could be kidnapped or killed. There was also the possibility of his apartment being shitty (you've had your fair share of guys with garbage lining their rooms & mattresses on the floor). If you went back to your place, then there was also the possibility of him being a creep, and if he were a creep, then you wouldn't want him to know where you lived. A love hotel was probably the safest bet for a hookup, but there was also the possibility of the love hotel being shitty.

Did you even want to hookup with the guy? Well, he was very hot, and the chemistry between the two of you was off the charts, but this was a guy who wanted to get to know you better, and that rarely happened! Most guys were only ever into hookups, and hookup culture was draining. On one hand, you were a hopeless romantic; on the other hand, you were horny and in desperate need of some good pipe. What to do, what to do...

"What's goin' on in that pretty head of yours?" Toji asked you, breaking you out of the prison that was your thoughts. "It's all up to you, doll. I mean, it's not like we're never gonna see each other again, right?"

"I guess you have a point," you remarked with a bashful smile.

"But why not have a little bit of fun while we're at it?" For whatever reason, his lips were right up against your ear again.

"Gah!" you yelped. He couldn't help but chuckle in response.

"C'mon, baby, don't you wanna have some fun tonight? I'm told I'm very good in bed--I know plenty of tricks that'll make your head spin. But what we do tonight is all up to you," he reminded you, letting go of you for a sec. "If you're not comfortable with it, then I'm not gonna force you. I ain't that type of guy."

His reassurance that it was all up to you was enough to make you make up your mind. It didn't seem like his words were laced with malice or manipulation; you genuinely felt like he was telling you the truth. He was an older guy, yes, and older guys could be creepy...

... but he wasn't that type of older guy. He wasn't one to play games or sleep around, nor was he the type to coerce naive young girls into his bed. If he did, he wouldn't have gone after someone whose frontal lobe was fully developed. He liked his girls girly, yes, but he also liked them with a brain and common sense.

And so, with a determined smile, you said: "No, Toji, I want to... I wanna spend the night with you. Preferably in a love hotel."

His face turned in your direction, and the smirk on his face turned into a toothy grin... which was more creepy than handsome, if you were being honest.

"That's more like it, sweetheart," he said, pulling you into the crook of his arm. "I'll make it 100% worth your while, don't even worry about it. Just leave it to Toji."

Was this a mistake? Or was this a good idea? Only time could tell. The sound of your pink Chanel heels clicking on the pavement & each step the two of you took towards the love hotel he already had picked out was a sign of what was to come.

"Thank you very much, sir! Please enjoy your stay. Don't hesitate to let us know if you need anything!" the welcoming receptionist of the love hotel said while handing Toji the keycard.

"Will do," Toji nodded, taking the card happily. He may not have been showing it, but he was more than eager to get on with this night. His fingers were fidgeting slightly, and the only thing that could quell his nerves would be a taste of you. He couldn't resist the urge to throw his arm around your waist and pull you in. 'She's so soft and squishy, I can't help but wonder how she'll feel underneath me. But, why's she so nervous? Aren't I a charming fellow?' Toji thought as he led the two of you to the elevator. "What's got you so nervous, sweetheart? I can feel all that tension that's built up inside of ya." You squeaked a little when he tightened his arm around your waist. "God, you're adorable... you're like a little marshmallow I can't wait to sink my teeth into."

"W-Well it's kinda hard to be calm when you're saying all that stuff," you said, the nervousness in your voice evident.

He listened to what you were saying and let out a sigh. "I get it, I get it. I'll admit, I'm a bit nervous, too. Well, more antsy than anything. You're just so fuckin' pretty that I just can't sit still! God, could this elevator be any slower?" he asked, tapping his foot on the linoleum floor.

"Just hold your horses, T-Toji," you said, trying to quell the nerves of the guy you were about to have sex with. "I wanna psyche myself up, okay?"

He offered you a remorseful smile and loosened his grip on your waist. "Alright, alright, I'll cool it down just for your sake, pretty. We've got all night long, anyway."

The rest of the elevator ride was quite silent with the ding of the elevator being the only sound made. Once you made it onto your guys' floor, the other sounds filling up the hallway were the sounds of couples having sex. Though you were no stranger to sex, you still had some sense of decency, so the sounds being made were quite embarrassing to listen to.

Toji took note of your discomfort, and he couldn't resist the urge to tease you just a little bit. "Soon, we'll be joining them with our own sounds," he croaked into your ear, making you jolt.

"D-Don't tease me like that! At least not until we're in the room itself..."

"It's just a little bit of teasing, doll--y'know I don't mean it like that."

Once you made it in front of your door, Toji grabbed the keycard and slid it into the lock, then promptly opened the door. "After you, m'lady," Toji said courteously.

"Thank you," you hummed with Toji following after you. The love hotel was Parisian-themed, and it was evident from the Eiffel tower decoration behind the bed as well as the faux-balcony that led to the outside. The bathroom had a large jacuzzi with gilded faucets, and if this wasn't a love hotel then you would've thought that you were in Versailles. "Well, this is something," you remarked as you set your bag down.

"Only the best for my gorgeous girl," Toji hummed, walking towards you. His first instinct was to wrap his arms around your waist and pull you in for a kiss, but you put your hands and stopped him. "What's wrong? Did I do somethin' wrong?"

He truly was a gentleman.

"No, no, you didn't do anything wrong, Toji," you reassured him. "Remember when I said I was nervous?"

He sighed, letting his hands fall to his side. "Doll, c'mon--you've gotta give me space to work with. How am I supposed to make you feel good if you don't let me?"

You tried to calm yourself down, but it didn't do anything. "'m sorry, Toji... I'm the worst possible girl to take out."

"You're not the 'worst possible'; you're just a little nervous, and that's understandable. But the way you keep refusing my advances and offers to help you calm down is starting to get on my nerves a little." He thought about what he could do to help you unwind, and he finally came up with an idea. "I know: why don't we start off with a little bit of foreplay? Y'know, some making out followed by taking these pesky clothes off? I really, really wanna make this work between us, baby... but you've gotta trust me. It won't feel good if there's no mutual trust."

You thought over everything you said, and it all sounded good--quite appealing, at that. While you were nervous of getting down to it, you still wanted it. You wanted Toji to make you feel good because you trusted & were attracted to him.

"Yeah, that sounds good," you finally said at last. Toji released the breath he was holding and smiled at you.

"Thank you... thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you," he murmured into your ear. He pulled you close and gave you a light kiss on the cheek, putting his hands on your waist to steady you. "I'm gonna make you feel so good, baby, you're not even gonna remember why you were nervous to begin with."

"I trust you-" he cut you off by moving his lips to yours, and he captured them in a featherlight kiss. "Toji..." you whispered into the kiss.

"Yeah, that's it--say my name," he murmured, pressing an even deeper kiss to your lips. "God, you taste so fuckin' sweet, baby," he whispered, "lemme kiss you some more, 'kay?"

He sat down on the bed and pulled you in by the waist, his big hands keeping a firm grip on your body so that you wouldn't go anywhere. Even his hands dwarfed your body, that was how big he was!

The more he kissed you, the more you relaxed and let him do what he thought felt right. Before you knew it, the two of you were engaged in a heated make-out session, the sounds of your sighs & lips smacking providing a soundtrack to the night. While it may have just been foreplay, you were already melting into it. "More... I want more, Toji~" you whined into his mouth.

"You want more already, pretty thing?" he rasped, his hands exploring your body like an untouched treasure, "use your words, baby. Tell Toji what you want--clearly."

"I want you... to keep kissin' me... touch me some more..." you grabbed his hand and guided it up your shirt, and you squeezed your breast with his hand. "I want you to touch me right there- oh~!"

He didn't need any direction, already squeezing your tit through your bra. "You like it when I squeeze your tits, baby? How about I squeeze this other one, hm? Wouldn't want it to get lonely, now, would you?" His little questions, sweet-talking and his big hands were turning your knees into wobbly jelly.

"Yeah~ yeah~ gimme more, Toji, fuck--I want all of that!" you exclaimed into his lips.

"Just as I thought: underneath that nervous little exterior of 'yers, you're a little slut, ain't ya?" he gave you a smirk and bit down on your bottom lip, making you yelp into the kiss. "Fuck, just listen to all of those sweet noises, baby--my dick's so fuckin' hard for ya. Can't you feel it, baby?" he even grabbed your hand and made you palm his erection, and he let out a deep sigh once you did so. "Those little hands of yours... fuck, I can't wait to feel 'em wrapped around my cock."

Your hands used to be a source of discontent for you, given how... manly they looked, but compared to Toji's hands? Well, they were dwarfed entirely.

"J-Just how big are you?" you asked out of nervousness once you felt the full weight and size of his erection.

"Wait and see, baby girl," he purred, offering you a cocky smirk. He knew he was well-endowed, and he knew that he was good at using those inches. "Or would you rather skip all the foreplay and get to the good stuff?"

You shook your head, still palming his erection. "No, I still wanna ease into it," you said.

"Have it your way, then. This night's all about you, sweet stuff." He resumed his kissing, this time latching his lips onto your jawline & trailing his lips down to your chest. You had an affinity for low-cut tops, so it gave him the perfect amount of space to pepper kisses on. "Mmmm... yeah, you are definitely some sweet stuff," he murmured, pressing kisses to your chest.

"Mn~" you moaned softly, biting your lips as if you were embarrassed of the way this man made you feel.

"Oh? You like it when I kiss you there?" he asked, peppering more kisses to your cleavage.

"Yeah, I do, Toji~" you murmured, letting out a bigger moan.

"What about... here?" he pressed one right in between the valley of your tits, and it was enough to elicit a nice, loud moan. "Fuck... you're really enjoying this, huh," he drawled in between chest kisses.

"I am, Toji, I am," you managed to breathe out. The more you moaned, the tighter his grip became on your waist.

"Yeah, you really are, princess. But, isn't that what we came here to do?" You nodded, and he chuckled. "Fuck, yeah, it is. Gonna make you feel so good... you're gonna forget 'yer own name."

Chest kisses weren't enough for the guy; he wanted--needed more of you. He needed to see you in the heat of the moment, to see how you reacted to getting the wind taken from your lungs, to see the way your ass would bounce against his powerful pelvis.

"Why don't we take this thing off, hm?" he was already in the middle of sliding your top off when he asked you that, so all you could do was let him. Once he did, his eyes lit up at the sight of your chest in that pretty pink bra. "Such pretty tits, held up by this pretty bra of yours," he rasped, hooking his finger underneath the pink fabric. "You wore this nice of lingerie just for me? Just for ol' Toji?"

You nodded vigorously, no longer shy or bashful. "Yeah, I wore it for you, Toji," you affirmed. "Wore it so you could tear it off of me."

His eyebrows shot up when you started voicing your fantasies, and he shook his head. "Yeah, you really are turning into a big ol' slut. None of that cute, shy shit anymore, huh?"

"I can't help it; your fingers just make me feel too good!"

"Oh, my fingers are making you feel good?" he repeated, a hint of mocking in his voice. "Well, in that case..." his big hands yanked the shorts underneath your mini skirt and his two fingers started caressing your hole. "Does that feel good, doll?"

You gasped and arched into his body, your perfect tits pressed against his clothed chest. "Fuck... feels so good~!"

"Oh, really? But I ain't even stick anything into ya? Are you really that touch-starved?" he asked mockingly, his green eyes leering at your blushing, moaning expression. One of his hands spanked your plump cheek, making you yelp. "Answer the question, doll."

"Y-Yes, fuck--I'm so fucking touch starved," you said through a moan, yelping when he spanked you again.

"Damn right, you are. Can't wait to see how tight you are--I can already imagine the way you're gonna suffocate my cock." The hand that was caressing your hole pushed past your panties and he stuck those two fingers into your hole, fingering you through your panties.

These ministrations of his fingers were making you lose your mind, and you let out the loudest moan yet. "F-Fuck! Oh, fuck- fuck, such thick fingers!!" You gasped, your voice reaching a new pitch you didn't think was possible.

"Yeah? You like my thick fingers inside o' that hole of 'yers? If I didn't know any better, I woulda assumed that you were a virgin, but how could I when you're such. A. Fucking. Slut?" he punctuated his question with spanks, his two fingers still fingering you. "C'mon, doll, lemme hear s'more of those moans. You know you wanna moan for Toji," he coaxed you, now stretching your cheek open with the hand that was spanking you.

And so, you moaned. You moaned as loud as you wanted to & possibly could, no longer worrying about how embarrassingly loud they'd be. Toji wasn't judging your moans; he savored them, worshiped them like they were holy scripture. "Fuck~! Fuck~! Oh, fuck, T-Toji--your fingers, they're so fucking good, keep curling them, please!! I'm gonna c-cum on your fingers if you k-k-keep this up!!" You were a babbling, incoherent mess while he worked his fingers into your tight hole. He pushed another finger in, essentially slutting you out on his hand alone. He licked his fingers again and started pumping them in & out harder, the feral grin on his face widening in size.

"Yeah, yeaah, that's what I'm fuckin' talking about, baby!" He exclaimed, fucking you vigorously on his fingers. "You're gonna cum, aren't ya? You're gonna cum from my fingers alone? You little whore, I can't wait to turn your brain to mush with my cock, just you wait!" If you weren't such a touch-starved whore for this man, the look in his eyes would've sent you running...

.... but you were a touch-starved whore. You were sucking his fingers in like you needed them to survive, like you'd die if you didn't get fingered by the older man. When his fingers hit that spongy spot inside of your tender hole, your eyes shot open and you felt an ache building up in your tummy. "Fuck, fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck~!!" you squealed, "Fuck, Toji, k-keep fingerin' me right there, you're touching all of my sweet spots!!" You were no better or quieter than any of those other people in the next door rooms.

He realized that he'd hit your soft spot, and the grin on his face only intensified. "Oh, you want it there?" he dug his fingers in as deep as he possibly could, hitting your prostate yet again.

"Yes, fuck yes, Toji!!" You screamed at the top of your lungs.

"Oh, you little fucking slut, you're getting your brains fucked out just by my fingers, eh? I don't even need a cock to make you lose your mind, because you've already lost it!!" He continued savagely finger-fucking you, pushing you that much closer to the edge.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck-" you babbled, your eyes half-lidded as he jackhammered his hand into your hole, "I'm gonna- I'm gonna c-cum- haven't came in so-"

Just like that, you felt the cord snap in your belly, and you let the dam break. You didn't know what you said to him, only that you felt a gush of cum go through your penis & stain your panties. Your milky fluid soaked your panties entirely, some of it even landing on his pants and staining the black fabric. You let out a "Tojiii~!!" when you came, and you slumped over into the crook of his neck. He caught you before you could fall, and he couldn't help the laugh that escaped his lips.

"Now, that's what I'm fucking talking about, doll," he said into your ear, patting your back and planting a kiss on your neck. Once you sat up and looked at him again, he captured your plump lips into a soft yet firm kiss, craning your head just right so he could kiss you perfectly.

"Toji... fuck, I didn't think I could cum that hard on a couple of fingers alone," you giggled, your mind still reeling from the intense pleasure.

"That's because you've been messing around with little boys who don't know what they're doing, doll. Can't even please a woman regardless if they've got a pussy or a dick," he chuckled, letting you catch your breath. "But I hope you know that that was just the appetizer, baby; there's plenty more where that came from."

"W-What?" before you knew it, you'd been flipped onto your back with Toji hovering over you.

"Hey there, pretty," he hummed, giving you a smile.

"Hey, Toji," you replied, the intensity of his gaze making you blush again.

"Blushin' already?" he moved one of his hands to your cheek and rubbed it as if you were a kitten. "Sweet girl," he cooed. Once he was done rubbing your cheek, he reached around your back and unclasped your bra. "Don't mind if I do," he gruffed, taking your bra off and letting the treasures that were your tits free. When the bra wasn't holding them up anymore, he could finally appreciate and marvel at them. "Fuck, doll... those are some sweet tits you've got there," he said, licking his lips and practically salivating at the sight. "May I?"

"May you what?" you asked, already embarrassed at how he was ogling you.

"May I suck your breasts, baby? They're such works of art that I wanna make sure I'm not tainting 'em," he murmured, already drooling over them.

"Toji, they're just my breasts," you giggled. "Nothing to be proud of..."

"Nothing to be proud of?! Baby, you've got the most amazing tits I've ever seen--and I've seen plenty. They're so perfectly round, so perky, 'n those nipples are just the perfect size to suck on."

You couldn't help but blush and giggle as he went on & on about your chest and how much he loved it. "If it gets you to stop... gushing about them, then you can suck-"

You didn't have to tell the man twice. He already had one of your nipples in his mouth and was holding the other in his hand, and you couldn't stop the beautiful moan that left your raspberry lips. "Fuck, Toji, you really know how to make a girl f-feel good," you whimpered, the intensity of his tit-sucking making your nipples extra sensitive.

"It's in my DNA," he said against your nipple. "I'm good at making pretty girls feel good." He shot you a cocky smirk before sucking on the other, practically losing his mind at the taste. If your nipples tasted this good, he wondered what it'd be like to eat your ass, maybe even suck your cock... if you let him, of course.

Once he'd had enough of your tits in his mouth, he retracted his lips & kissed yours. "Now those are some sweet tits," he chuckled, finally giving you some room to breathe.

"Toji... now they're all puffy and swollen," you pouted at the extra-sensitivity that came as a result of his voracious tit worship.

He shrugged at your little gripe. "Can you blame a guy?" he even flicked your nipple and watched you squirm in discomfort, shooting you a shit-eating grin. "Making you lose your mind's part of the deal, doll, and I can't do that if you're not a moaning mess. Now, spread those legs for me, baby girl, because I'm gonna show you how it feels to get devoured by a guy who knows what he's doin'."

"What are you..." you trailed off when he pulled your skirt down entirely and exposed your drenched panties. He could make out the outline of your soft penis, and he hooked his fingers under the fabric of your panties & slid them down your smooth thighs. Once he was finally able to see all of you, the little smile that was on his face grew into a wide grin.

"Fuck, doll... you're just..." he sat up to get a good look at your naked form, and you shyly covered your crotch in embarrassment. "Nah, don't hide this gorgeous sight from me, doll, lemme see you." He pried your hands off with one of his and once he was able to see you fully, he took in your naked form with his eyes. "You're a work of fucking art, baby."

"You're just sayin' shit, Toji," you mumbled, a little embarrassed by his praising.

"I'm saying shit from the heart, doll," he corrected you, making you crack a little smile. "I just... wow, you're just amazing." He shook his head in disbelief at how such a perfect specimen could be wandering earth without his knowledge. "I definitely found an angel," he jested, making you crack another smile.

"Can you just get on with what you're doing?"

"I thought you'd never ask." Slowly but surely, he planted kisses on your belly & made his way down to where the goodies were. "Spread those legs f'me, doll. I need to see every inch of you."

You parted your legs gingerly, letting him see what he wanted to see. He lowered his head to where your hole was & grabbed your legs, spreading them further for his liking. He then pushed them back up gently, giving him a full view of your puckered anus. "Look at that shit... so delicious, so perfect, so sweet-lookin'," he muttered, pressing a kiss to the inside of your thigh. "You're just perfect in every single way... fucking fuck," he chuckled, shaking his head once again.

You stayed silent, far too vulnerable or nervous to give him one of your usually sassy quips. "Cat got 'yer tongue, doll?"

"You've got my tongue," you muttered, making him chuckle again.

"I'm gonna feast on this perfect hole of 'yers, baby, and then I'm gonna impale you on this dick & make you see stars," he promised, sitting up again. "Lemme just... take this damn sweater off," he grumbled, sliding the white cotton over his head.

It was your turn to marvel at him now. You knew that he was a big guy with some big muscles, but now that you were seeing the real deal for yourself, you couldn't help the squeak of nervousness that left your lips. He truly was an adonis in every sense of the word: his meaty pecs that were thicker than some peoples' boobs, a shredded 8-pack that could quite literally grind cheese on it, that thin, tapered waist that expanded to a set of broad shoulders, not to mention the biceps that could crush your head. "Oh, wow," you said involuntarily, the intrusive thoughts escaping your mind.

"Like what you see, doll?" he asked cockily, flexing one of his huge biceps for you.

"Yeah... I do like, me likey," you said, still entranced by his frame.

"I told you I wasn't one of those little boys you've been hanging around, doll--I know what I'm doin'." He put his bicep down and then dipped his head back to your puckered hole, and you couldn't help but tense up a little. You tried to close your thighs out of embarrassment, but he easily pried them open with his two big hands. "Enough hidin' baby, enough of that coy shit. I already made you cum on my fingers, right? Now, I'm gonna make you cum on my tongue."

Before you could say anything, he latched his mouth to your hole, the sensation immediately making you squeak. "Fuck~!" You gasped, the wet muscle licking a stripe up your anus.

"It's time to enjoy my meal," he gruffed before diving in fully, his face disappearing into your anal cavity.

Toji wasn't lying--he really wasn't, because when he said he'd make you lose your mind, you were doing just that. "Fuck... oh, fuck, T-Toji~" you sighed, relaxing into his ministrations. You've had your ass eaten before, but the skill and tenacity with which he ate you out was 10 times more pleasurable than those other times.

The more he licked and flicked, the more moans you moaned. You were writhing about, your hands gripping both the sheets and his hair in delicious agony. It was like you were a virgin, touched for the very first time by this experienced, older man. "Fuck~!" You squealed, not knowing what else to do but enjoy it. Every time your gaze would wander back to Toji, the sight of his biceps curled and his broad shoulders supporting your legs made your stomach flutter. He was just so incredibly attractive in every way, and his oral skills were just that: incredibly attractive.

"I'm gonna- I'm gonna c-cum soon, fuck--I've never been pushed to the edge so quickly!" You admitted between breathy moans, still grinding your ass against his face.

"Yeah? You're gonna cum already?" he asked in between licks and slurps, "hah, you're already such a whore for ol' Toji, and he hasn't even fucked you with his cock." He gave your thigh a firm slap before diving back in again. You could see the enjoyment in his verdant eyes, and it only made you lose your mind that much quicker.

Soon enough, the words and quips escaping your mouth lessened in favor of the moans & whimpers that took their rightful places. He was loving every second of this--both your heavenly moans and taste on his tongue were just perfect. He could feel himself losing it, his tongue devouring you like a feral animal that needed taming.

"Fuck... so fucking delicious, baby... you've been keeping this taste from me for how long?" he asked in between sucks. "I'm never lettin' go of ya now, not when you taste so perfect."

You were mindlessly moaning and nodding your head to everything he said, no longer able to resist the sweet temptation of losing yourself in his mouth. "Yeah~ yeah, Toji, f-fuck yeah~!" the man could've asked to marry you right then and there and you wouldn't have registered it, that was how insane he drove you.

If he could use his tongue on you so expertly, how would you fare taking his cock?

He chuckled into your sweet, plush ass, now stroking your cock gently. "Jus' keep those pretty moans comin', baby, and I'll give you everything you want."

By then, you didn't know how long it had been since he'd started eating your ass. It could've been 10 minutes, an hour or ten hours--numbers were no longer a thing in your mind. You knew he had an experience with pleasuring women, but you didn't know he'd be such an eater! It was like the more he ate, the more he craved. His appetite simply couldn't be quenched. Toji, himself, also took note of how he was losing himself in you, but he just couldn't stop. You were too sweet for your own good, and someone would have to enjoy it. He noticed how your thighs were trembling like an earthquake from the intensity of it all, and he gave you an apologetic stare & retracted his lips temporarily (still fingering you).

"'m sorry, doll, but you're just too sweet... I've gotta have more of this," he panted before diving in again.

All you could give in response was a pathetic whine and a moan.

"Losin' your mind so quickly?" he jested in between swipes of your hole. "Like a cute lil' virgin," he hummed before diving in again, burying his face in your engorged hole. "Fuck.. need more... gotta have some more of you... you don't mind, do you?" Before you could even make a sound, he grabbed your hips and held them up with his strong hands, dipping his tongue even deeper if that was even humanly possible.

You let out a loud, high-pitched moan when he did this. How could it be that his tongue was already reaching your sweet spot?! "F-F-Fuck, Toji, please!!" You gasped, writhing about when he mounted your hips in the air.

"Please what, doll?" he taunted you in between sucks.

"P-Please, just make me cum already--I c-can't take this pleasure anymore!!"

"The little princess wants to cum, eh?" he chuckled lowly, making your cheeks heat up out of embarrassment. "Alright, alright... I guess I'll stop torturin' ya." He shifted the weight of your body to one of his hands & his strong arm, and he moved the other hand to start stroking your cock.

When his hand made contact around your cock, that was when all hell broke loose inside of your body. "Tojiii~!!" You squealed, bucking your hips while being held in mid-air, "Toji, Toji, Toji, T-Toji- I can't- I'm fucking c-cum-"

It was laughably cute how you desperately, needly jerked your hips into his hand, practically doing all the work for him. Your cum shot out in spurts, the milky-white substance landing on your tits, the perfect decoration for a pretty girl like you.

"That's it, there you go--thereee you go, pretty," he encouraged you, removing his mouth from your abused anus. "Cumming so much for me... fuck, you're just precious, baby. So fuckin' precious." He cooed and coaxed you with his words, guiding you through your second orgasm & its aftershocks.

When you finally came to and opened your eyes to look at him, his face was a few inches from yours, and he was carefully watching your reactions. "There you are, doll," he crooned, cupping your cheek gently. "Now, how was that for being eaten?" he asked with a cocky chuckle. One of his hands moved closer to your lips, and he stuck his thumb inside just to see what would happen. "Look at you," he rasped. "Even when you're reelin' from an orgasm, you're still so eager to please." He stuck his thumb further into your mouth just for the fun of it before retracting.

"Never been eaten like that before," you admitted with flushed cheeks.

"That's because you've never been with a real man before," he chuckled, patting your cheek before sitting up again. "Speaking of real men, I believe you've got a little present waitin' for ya." His hands moved to the hem of his pants, and he undid the buckle of his belt. "You're in for a real doozy if you came that hard on my fingers," he warned you, watching as your brows furrowed in confusion and fear.

"What're you..." you quickly realized just what he meant when he unbuckled his pants and shimmied out of them. The tent in his boxers was...

Massive.

You wondered what kind of monster he was hiding in there. Sure, you weren't a virgin--but you might as well have been one to Toji. He grabbed the waistband of his boxers and looked at you intently, watching your every reaction: "you ready, doll?"

Before you could answer that, he pulled his boxers down and let the Goliath of his cock spring free. And what you saw only confirmed your suspicions.

"Oh my god," was all you said.

His cock was massive, just like the rest of him. It was a good 9-inches, girthy, and was leaking precum like crazy onto the sheets. "Sorry 'bout that," he said in mock apology when his precum made a mess on the sheets. His cock had an angry red tip and one big vein up the side, and the sheer thickness of it was a doozy.

"How the fuck is that supposed to fit inside of me?" you asked out of panic. You were eager to have sex with the man, sure, but you weren't eager to be sent to the hospital.

"With plenty of lube and preparation, of course." He reached over to the nightstand and saw what kind of stuff they had in there. Luckily for your poor little hole, they had different bottles of lubricant as well as condoms for all shapes & sizes (including Magnum XXL). He took out the biggest size option and ripped open the plastic. He rolled it onto his cock before looking at you, and the fear in your eyes made him soften up for a moment. "What's the matter, doll? Are you scared of me or somethin'?"

"I'm not scared of you; I'm scared of your cock," you clarified, still eyeing the huge meat that he was packing.

He let out a chuckle before slicking some lube onto his cock. "Doll, don't worry; I've done this plenty of times before. My ex-wife was actually a virgin when we first got together, and we had a son together."

"I guess you're right..."

He set the jokes aside and cupped your chin again. "What I'm saying is that you don't gotta worry about anything, doll. I'm good at making women feel good, and that includes women like you. We'll ease into it as slowly as you want and you can take as much time as you need. All I want is for the two of us to enjoy ourselves." He leaned in to press a kiss to your lips, quelling any further worries. "I really, really like you, (Y/N). I'd never do anything to hurt you. You trust me, right?"

You nodded shakily once you parted lips.

"Good, because that's all I want," he added with a comforting smile. "I want this to lead somewhere, y'know? And what good would it do me to hurt you?" He trailed kisses down your neck and gave your breast a reaffirming squeeze. "Just you wait, baby. Once the initial stretch is out of the way, you're gonna feel so fuckin' amazing."

You smiled softly at Toji, still nervous but confident that you were gonna have a great time with him. "I trust you, Toji. I trust your abilities."

"That's a good girl," he rumbled in response. He coated his fingers in lubricant and stuck them inside of you, the cold feeling making you yelp and squirm. "Sorry 'bout that, doll, I just wanted to make sure you were all slippery and ready f'me." After wiping the excess on his thigh, he grabbed ahold of his lubed up cock & started moving it towards your entrance. "Spread those legs, baby... yeah, that's it. You follow orders so well," he praised, grabbing your thigh and pinning it back with his hand. "Okay, here it goes... just hold onto me, pretty girl, hold onto my back."

You were nervous, oh-so nervous about what was to come. You knew it was gonna hurt, you knew it'd be uncomfortable at first, but yet you were still determined to take it because you knew you could. After all, surely it wouldn't hurt that bad, right?

Wrong.

When you felt the head of his cock pierce your hole, your eyes immediately shot open and you felt a pain in your butt. "Ah~!" your initial moan of pain was quite high-pitched, and he winced at the thought of the initial stretch. Slowly but surely, Toji slid more & more of his cock into your ass, gritting his teeth the entire time. You, meanwhile, were whimpering in pain, whining from how bad it hurt. "Toji, Toji, p-please--I can't take it-"

"C'mon, baby, you've got this. Just breathe 'n hold onto me, okay? You're doing so well, sooo fuckin' well," he crooned into your ear, kissing away the tears of pain that flowed down your cheeks.

"Please, Toji, it hurts!"

"I know it hurts, I know--but you're almost there, see? We're past the halfway point already. C'mon, you're a big girl, you can handle it. Just... just lemme slide... oh, fuck-" the feeling of your tight ass around his cock was just heavenly. It was unlike anything he's ever felt before. Any mouth that sucked him, any pussy that took him couldn't even compare to this overflow of sensation that he was feeling. It was like angels were caressing him, like the softest pillow in existence. "Oh, fucking fuck," he panted, desperately resisting the urge to just shove it all in there and take your pleasure for himself. "Just... just a little bit more... hah- are you tryin' to choke me or somethin'?"

"No, I swear! It's just, it hurts so good, god you're so fucking big, Toji!!" And there it was: that spongy spot that drove the two of you wild. Once the tip of his cock pierced it, all those whines and pained cries were replaced by sheer, unabashed pleasure. The combination of the fading pain & the incoming waves of pleasure and heaven were enough to make you scream out his name: "Tojiii, fuuuck!!"

"Jesus christ... oh my god," he rasped, throwing his head back at the delicious constriction. "You feel so, so, so amazing." He moved his head back to look at you, and his eyes widened by how deliciously erotic the scene was. You, underneath him, your face the unbridled image of pleasure, and that yummy belly bulge that showed where his cock was hitting you. "Fuck, I'm hitting you that deep? Hahh, if there was any chance of me letting you go, that chance was just wiped away! Just lemme... fuck," he gasped when he retracted his cock slowly but surely, dragging every inch against your anal walls.

When he plunged his cock back inside of you, you could see stars painted on the ceiling above you. "I... can't... it feels too good... m-making me lose my mind-" you said in between gasps.

"Too good? Too good?" he was slowly starting to pick up steam, rocking his hips back and forth. "Just wait 'til you get adjusted to me, because I'm gonna make you see the whole fucking galaxy."

As Toji gradually began to pick up speed, your nails dug into his muscular back, raking it down, making his back all but red. "Fuck~ fuck~ fuck~ fuck~" you whimpered in between thrusts, your eyes going half-lidded and your jaw going slack.

"Yeahhhh, there you go, doll," he panted, "just keep tellin' me how amazing you're feeling, and I'll make you feel even better."

The more he thrusted into you, the dirtier your moans became. You were now reduced to nothing but a moany, whiny puddle with your hands going to his back and holding on for dear life. Toji was also in a similar state to you, thrusting into you like a madman who needed you to survive.

"Fuck... shit, doll, you're so fuckin' warm n' heavenly--are you trying to make me addicted to you? Because it's workin, baby girl," he rasped, dipping his head to where yours laid and whispering dirty nothings into your ear.

After you let out a few whiny, incoherent moans, you were able to babble: "W-Want you, Toji--want you to keep fucking me like this!"

"Yeah? You want me to fuck you like this? Or, maybe," he grabbed your legs, threw them over his shoulders & folded you like a pretzel, "like this?" This change in position allowed the tip of his meaty cock to pierce your spongy spot, making you moan like an idiot with each ministration. Each stroke was designed to ruin you, each word was spoken to make your knees like jelly, and each look he casted you was filled with his love.

"C'mon, baby, look at me, talk to me," he crooned, trying to get your attention again. He gently grabbed your cheeks and turned your head to face him, his jade eyes seeking the affirmations within yours. "Look at me... I wanna see those pretty eyes of 'yers."

When you refused to look at him out of sheer embarrassment from the moans & whimpers you let out, he grabbed your chin with his hand and forced you to look at him. "Look at me, angel, look at me while I fuck you like this."

"I'm l-looking- I'm looking!!"

"Good... god, angel do you know how fucking gorgeous you look right now? All vulnerable and splayed out for ol' Toji here? God, it's been ages since I've had pussy like this--I didn't even know it could feel so fucking good!" he exclaimed, a light snarl making its way out of his mouth.

"Never had dick like yours, d-daddy!" you squealed, somehow still able to talk, even after the man just started making your insides mush.

'Daddy?' he asked himself. Did you really just call him daddy?

"W-What was that?" he asked, his eyes blown wide from the term.

"I said... fuck~ I've never had dick like yours, daddy!!" you said with more vigor. "Never had such a long, g-girthy dick like yours--it's so fucking incredible, I'm drooling n' making such a big fucking mess on this bed!!"

He felt something snap inside of him when you called him daddy for the second time. It was like the tightrope that he was walking on snapped finally, and all the pent-up frustration and lust inside of him was going haywire.

"Daddy? Daddy?" he repeated, this time in a mocking tone of voice. "Oh, ohhh, so I'm your daddy now, huh?" the sudden change of demeanor made your belly churn in equal parts fear & excitement. You could see the beast inside of him slowly coming out, his green eyes becoming a jaded, darker color. "Answer me, you slut: am I your daddy? Yes or no!" he slapped the inside of your thigh harshly, making you yelp in pain.

"Yeah, y-you're m'daddy-"

"That's more like it, that's what I wanna hear. I bet you have a nice, big kink for letting older men like me have their way with you, fucking your brains out n' stuffing you like a creampie--or am I the only one who's churned you like butter?" with each thrust, each question posed, he let out another snarl, almost like a feral wolf in heat.

"Oh, I am sooo gonna destroy you now, you little slut. I mean, just look at the way you're lookin' at me right now, I bet you wore that slutty lil' lingerie set of yours earlier so you could get the ever-loving shit fucked out of you, huh? Huh?" he slapped your thigh again & again, his large red hand leaving a print on the fat. "Answer me when I ask you questions!!"

"Y-Yes!" you admitted finally, "I wore that lingerie set so I could get the shit... fucked out of me!! God, I've been waiting for this day for ages, the day when I'd finally find someone who could ruin me!!"

He let out a dark laugh, stuffing two fingers down your throat & making you gag. "You fucking whore, you're a fucking whore, aren't ya? A whore for big dicks, eh? I bet I've already turned you into my whore, haven't I, angel?"

You nodded while gagging on his fingers, the tears of pleasure and pain falling down your cheeks. Here you were, getting completely slutted out, drilled into this mattress by a guy who was 10 years your senior, and you were in heaven. You had no idea that meeting up with someone you met online could lead to the most mind-numbing, toe-curling sex imaginable, but you were so fucking glad to have taken the leap.

"Enough talking from you, whore," he sneered, adding a third finger to your mouth & making you drool. "I'm gonna show you how good it feels to be turned into a fleshlight."

By the time the words registered inside of your head, you were already long gone. The combination of his fingers down your throat, the dirty degradation & praise he was spewing into your ear, and the feeling of his cock piercing your spongy spot relentlessly made your mind break, and you were only one round in. With Toji's endless, stallion-like stamina, you were no doubt gonna be fucked in all sorts of positions & ways.

A week ago, you wouldn't have recognized the girl who you'd been turned into. You probably would've been embarrassed of yourself at that. But any girl or guy would've been jealous of you if they saw how good the pipe was.

"Fuck~! Fuck~! Fuck~!" was all that you were able to say as the man demolished you (with your approval, of course). You'd never cum so fast in your life, but you could feel that familiar bubble building up in you--only it was a good 10 times more intense than the last time you had sex with a guy. Maybe it was the deep dish dick that he gave you, or maybe it was the insane chemistry that you and him had, but it was coming to you like a freight train.

He could feel your tight little anus clenching down on his cock repeatedly, and he knew that you were gonna cum quickly. "Awww, is my lil' angel gonna cum?" he asked mockingly, to which you nodded. "I shouldn't even let ya cum after seeing how much of a whore you are, but you've been sooo good to my dick that I just have to reward you."

He leaned down to kiss the side of your face & whispered: "go ahead, princess, cum for me. Cum on daddy's dick, n' I'll stuff ya full of his seed." He even rubbed your cock just so you could cum sooner.

And just like that, you came all over yourself & his hand. It was a pretty sight to see, the milky white fluid shooting out of your tip like an uncontrollable, unstable geyser, and you couldn't stop the "Toji~!"s and "daddy~!"s from leaving your lips--not that either of you wanted that to stop.

Toji just chuckled & watched you ride out your orgasm on his dick. "Fuck... just look at you, baby, you're a work of art. If we weren't strangers, I woulda snapped a pic o' this view and made it my lockscreen, but we aren't there yet?"

As you came down from your high, you looked at him hazily in confusion. "Wha...? Whaddya mean?"

"Isn't it obvious?" he asked with a cocked eyebrow. "I'm keeping ya around, pet. What, you thought that this was some one-time, one-night stand?" he scoffed, shaking his head.

"I'm not letting go of your sweet ass until my hands can't physically do so anymore."

Toji promptly fucked you in every single position imaginable, orgasm after orgasm spewing from the tip of your overstimulated penis. Missionary, doggy, cowgirl, spooning, reverse cowgirl, the spread-eagle--the mating press was your personal favorite because you got to feel every ounce of that man on top of you.

By the time you were able to register what was happening, you'd already came... however many times you came, and you were currently getting pistoned into in the full nelson. He had your ankles next to your head, your soft, squishy body propped up against his shredded & muscular frame, and his huge cock lodged deep inside of you.

"Fuck... fuck... fuck," he panted, still thrusting after all this time. "You can take another load, right, doll? Well, it don't matter anyway; you're taking my seed until my balls empty out."

"Toji... p-please," you whimpered, so overstimulated that you could barely keep conscious. "Had enough..."

"Oh, you can take another. You're a big girl, right?" he patted your thigh mockingly and went back to holding your ankle up, making sure that you were at his mercy. "So overstuffed you might just burst, hm?" he cooed, kissing next to your ear. "I just love making pretty girls like you into total sluts."

You went back to lolling your head to the side, your jaw open as the moans escaped your lips.

"Fuck... think 'm gonna-" before he could finish that sentence, he dumped yet another thick & heavy load into your hole. You let out a weak whimper and curled your toes, the feeling stimulating you yet again. Your eye trailed over to him when you realized that he wasn't thrusting anymore, and you could see that he was panting heavily.

"Toji...?"

"I think I've dumped every ounce of seed into ya, doll," he chuckled breathlessly, throwing his head back in victory. "N' you managed to do it without tapping out, too. I'm proud of ya for taking all of this--most girls can't even manage a fourth round before tapping out."

You didn't say anything, instead falling back onto his body weakly. "So tired," you mumbled against his meaty pec.

"I know you are," he crooned, running a hand through your hair and smiling at your fucked-out form. "You really took it all like a champ, angel. I'm truly proud of you."

Taking all of his pipe & his seed should've earn you a trophy.

"Thankyou," you slurred, still resting your head on his chest. "Think I'm gonna... rest here for a little while."

"Me, too, doll," he sighed, stretching his arm out to wrap around your shoulders. He leaned in, pressing a few kisses to your sweaty forehead, looking at you with every ounce of love he had in his body. "You know I didn't mean any of that shit about you being a slut, right?"

"Mm..."

"That's how I get when I'm caught up in the moment," he chuckled, now nuzzling his lips there. "You're just the most beautiful girl in the world," he remarked, still gazing at you fondly. "It's a wonder you're still available. Then again, not many can handle a girl like you, can they?"

You were slowly drifting off to sleep in his arms, the love hotel's bed surprisingly comfy for your weak form. "Hey... you're not gonna... run off in the morning, right? Like all the rest?"

"Are you kiddin' me?" he scoffed, the notion of him being a guy like that ridiculous to him. "I'm not an asshole, doll. I've got the most beautiful girl in the world resting in my arms. Ain't no way I'm gonna make the mistake of letting you go so quickly, no ma'am. When I meant I wasn't gonna leave you alone, I meant it."

By then, he realized that you had fallen asleep, and he gave you a soft smile. "So fuckin' pretty when you're relaxed, doll..." he whispered, pressing more soft kisses to your forehead. He moved his arm from your shoulder to your waist and was now cradling your petite frame to his burly one.

"You're not like the others on that website, are you?" he asked both you and himself. "You're an angel amongst men... you don't belong there. You deserve the world, n' I hope you'll let me give it to you. Hell, I hope I can even give you what you deserve." He, too, felt a little weary, but he stayed awake just to watch your sleeping form.

"You deserve heaven, angel."

I'M PART OF THE SOFT!TOJI AGENDA!!! I wanted to give the reader a comforting ending, just in case someone was stuck in a bad situation w/ an asshole 🥹 I also kinda went overboard on the smut but I made the ending as fluffy as possible! I'm not proofreading this btw.

© ʙʀᴜɴᴇᴛᴛᴇ-ʙɪᴛᴄʜ77 on tumblr - get your own shit bitches | ca. 7/2/2024

[horriblegoosefest]

The goose is almost here!!! 🪿

Rummage around in those folders you haven’t opened in years, dust off the cobwebs, and bring some life back to your most abandoned works. You said you’d come back to it again one day, but the days turned to years, and – what’s that I hear?

H-O-N-K, we will finish a wip today! 

H-O-N-K, write it or I won't go away! 

What is the horrible goose fest?

The horrible goose fest is borne from the many cries for accountability from fandom creators and the wish that someone hound them (or honk at them) into finishing their wips. This is a partnered fest in which one partner (creator) commits to finishing a work-in-progress and one partner (goose) commits to providing dedicated accountability. 

Great, how does it work? 

There are no prompts in this fest. It's designed to help you finish those languishing drafts and build relationships with other folks in the fandom. You can sign up as a creator and/or a goose. If signing up as a creator, you are committing to finishing an existing work-in-progress (fic, art, podfic, translation) that is not affiliated with other current fest collections or prompts/self-prompts (wips from past fest drops are fine!) If your work-in-progress is already posted to ao3, we will ask you to hide it by adding it to a private collection for the duration of the fest; it will be revealed with everyone's works during the posting period. Creators will upload their finished works to the fest’s ao3 collection. 

If you sign up as a goose, you are committing to frequent check-ins with your creator to help them finish their work in progress. This will involve ongoing discussions with your creator about their progress and deadlines. You're not expected to alpha or beta their work. Think of yourself as a particularly tenacious cheerleader. You are also committing to writing a thoughtful rec of the work upon its completion, which will be posted on tumblr.

How do I sign up?

All participants will sign up by filling out a form on airtable. You can choose your own partner to sign up with, or be paired with a partner by the mods. Participants must be 18+. Due to modly time constraints, we will be capping the number of fic sign-ups at 35. There will be no limit for art or podfic.

If signing up to be paired with a partner, sign up forms will be used to help the mods best match pairs. All HP fandom ships and characters are welcome. Creators will detail their wip plans and accountability needs. Gooses will detail their accountability style and preferred time/frequency commitment – how often and for how long can you check in, are you strict or more of a softie, what strategies and advice can you provide your creator? The form will also have a space for geese and creators to share ship preferences and squicks. We will try our best to match compatible creator/goose pairs, but as with any paired fest, you'll also need to be open, flexible, and friendly.

Can I sign up as both?

Sure! But be aware of the time commitment of both roles and be mindful of what you can realistically handle. Your partner is counting on you! 

What if there are more geese than creators? Or more creators than geese?

If we have an imbalance, and you are a good fit for more than one creator/goose, you may be assigned more than one participant to work with. We will do our best to take into account your time commitment and preferences, so please let us know in the sign up if you are willing to be paired more than once! For fairness reasons, if you are a creator assigned two geese, the two geese will collaborate on a single rec of your work at the end of the fest. You are always welcome to assemble your own team of additional cheerleaders if you’d like <3

If I'm a goose, do I have to be horrible?

The title is jokey. We're not really encouraging anyone to be unkind. Think of a goose as an accountability partner. We're hearing from lots of creators that deadlines and kind but firm expectations are what really get them across the finish line. Goosing is a big job, but in the end we're all rewarded with more works to enjoy! 

What if there’s an issue with my pairing?

To avoid this as much as possible, we encourage folks to sign up as an already-formed pair. Prior to matching, we will share a list of the participants who have signed up. Feel free to use this to form your own pairs. We will be running a discord to facilitate participants getting to know each other. Please remember to be kind, and if someone’s wip really catches your eye, don’t be afraid to reach out - they may be eyeing you!

That said, we know this might be stressful for some, so we are happy to pair you. If you have any concerns with regards to matching, or at any point throughout the fest, please reach out to us. Our goal is to make the fest a safe space for all participants in accordance with our expectations below. 

Speaking of kindness, what are the other expectations in this fest?

We ask that participants generally abide by sals, kink-tomato, and dldr, but also, in recognition of the ways these rules have been used to silence poc voices in fandom, you may be asked to tag content beyond ao3's major trigger warnings or the fandom typical disclosure of sexual acts and violence, such as racist tropes/triggers. Refusal to tag sensitive content may result in your fic being pulled from the fest. If you have questions about what kinds of content we'll ask you to tag or want a sensitivity read for your content, please contact the mods, we really are happy to help!

There will be email check-ins throughout the fest. Make sure to add our email, horriblegoosefest@gmail.com, to your contacts to ensure you receive these communications. Please only reply via email, not via tumblr, discord or any other messaging service. Please send any questions about the fest to horriblegoosefest@gmail.com or #mod-help channel in the fest discord (do not contact individual mods). 

We will post small (optional) challenges and games to participate in during the fest to hype everyone up. These will be posted in the discord server and on tumblr, so make sure you join the server and follow @horriblegoosefest on tumblr! 

Submission info:

There is no word count minimum but we do ask that you submit one fic, artwork, or podfic. Fics should be beta-read. Remember that geese are not required to beta (although they can if they'd like to). Podfics and translations must have either blanket permission or consent from the original authors to be included in the fest.

Works can be submitted in any language. There will be a space on the sign up form to let us know what language you intend to post. If our mod team is not fluent in your chosen posting language we will contact you to discuss options to help us make sure works are beta read and tagged according to fest guidelines. You may be asked to include a disclaimer that the mods are unable to guarantee comprehensive tagging. 

Creators will submit works to an ao3 collection and the following header information should be emailed to the mods. Multi-chapter works will be revealed on a single posting day. As the fest deadline nears, geese will write a celebratory rec of their creator’s work, which will be posted to tumblr. We are happy to provide guidance on writing a rec if you need it.

Header for Fic:

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[elvisabutler]

a love supreme seems far removed

summary: it appears old wounds between you and professor presley die hard after one particularly pleasurable but exhausting incident. fandom: elvis presley | elvis ( 2022 ) rating: m pairing: professor! elvis presley ( big daddy flavor ) x student! female reader ( nicknamed belle ) word count: 2462 warnings: big daddy elvis. elvis using a walking stick/cane. implied praise kink. student and professor relationship ( everyone is of legal age ). use of the derogatory name jezebel,in a negative way toward oneself. caning in a sexual way/sexual punishment way. negative self talk. dom/sub dynamics though not explicitly stated. near use of a safe word. sub drop. mild daddy kink? it's there, belle calls him that once or twice and elvis refers to himself as big daddy once. abandonment issues. author’s note: so this was sort of an accidental fic. once upon a time an anon came into my inbox and mentioned liking my fic about belle and professor presley with belle experiencing sub drop. i had never written that but between my right hand woman for belle and elvis @butlersxbirdy ( seriously, y'all she is the reason this entire series exists ) and my baby girl @stylespresleyhearted going "OKAY BUT CAN YOU DO IT THO I WANT IT." this fic was born. special thanks as always to my discord wives, christi and marina and for kicks also bee who i made love big daddy with these two. as always i love the love this fic series gets and truly i live for comments and questions regarding it or any of my serieses/fics. hell, the reason this series is a series is because y'all keep requesting more stuff from it. pay no mind to the moodboard as far as physicality goes or ethnicity, i just basically fell in love with her face because of daisy jones and she's got the right vibe.

It's funny, you think, how once upon a time the things you do with Elvis were things you shied away from with your other- partners if you could even call them that. There's something to be said about the sheer ease at which Elvis puts you in to make you agree to anything. You figure it's because you know he'll always take care of you. You figure it's because of how he'll stop if you cry out in more than just a pleasurable pain. No, he'll make sure you're alright, make sure his precious Belle, his angel sent from God himself is alright.

Smack.

A low keen leaves your mouth at the sting of his cane against your ass, hitting a spot still a bit tender from a week ago. Elvis had asked if you were alright with this, asked if you were ready to take this on this soon and it had been an easy question to answer. Of course you were alright because you had been the one to ask for it again. It's not that you needed it- craved it every second of the day but you knew very well you had nearly gotten yourself and him in some very hot water. It deserved more than his words of admonishment murmured against your neck and your hair. It deserved the caning that he rarely brings out but that you know tends to set you straight. Tends to keep you in line in a way you'll both never admit or question beyond these moments when he uses it. Your hand starts to move toward your ass, wanting to rub the spot that's sore before—

"Hands on the bed. Ya know better. Keep 'em where they're 'posed t'be," Elvis commands as your hands settle back against the bed. Back to where they ought to be because Elvis- Big Daddy- Professor Presley told you to keep them there.

"Elvis—" you start before another smack of the cane has your ass jiggling and has him chuckling a little as his ringed hand palms the area. You hiss.

"Ya asked for this, 'member? Told me ya needed the lesson, hm? Needed t'be 'minded that ya need t'be good, right? Keep that tongue o'yours in check. Doin' so good, Y/N. Doin' so good. What number we on?"

Your mind, fuzzy as it's becoming can focus on the number, can focus on something, settle on something that allows you to not float completely away. The grounding element of everything that keeps you tied to the Earth, tied to him and your life together. Your mouth opens and one single word falls out, "Three."

"Outta five, that's right, Belle. But ya haven't been countin' 'em out loud, have ya? Been tryin' to keep me from hearin' ya? Hearin' what my cane does to ya?" Elvis allows himself to lean against you, to press his stomach against your burning backside, his own warmth both a balm and an irritant against it. His chest hair scratches at your skin and earns a light whine as some rubs just the wrong way, the friction unwanted for now.

"Yes," you whine, arching your back as if to tease when really you only want to chase after the feel of the cane, of his body against yours in order to float and to feel safe. At your arch, he moves off of you and brings down his cane once more, this time closer to your vagina, in that dip where your thighs and butt meet. The part where his hands would grip and squeeze and slap when you rode his cock or his thighs. The number slides through your brain and into your mouth. "Four!"

You hadn't meant to shout the number but the sting overwhelmed you, the sting almost had you telling Elvis to stop, that this was too much too soon after the last week. It stopped though, the urge to tell him to set down his cane and pull you into his arms stopped. Still, even with your lack of asking, there's a pause with Elvis, a pause that has him leaning against you once more, his hand automatically starting to palm your ass. "Y'alight?"

He expects an honest answer out of you as you expect honest answers out of him when he wants to pretend his body isn't betraying him and hurting him. The bright side of when you do things like this, when you trust him to remind you to be a good girl- a good woman- you'll always tell him the truth.

A nod is what you manage before your body slumps forward just a little, the effort of holding yourself up on your hands against the bed becoming just a bit too much to handle. Elvis ought to stop right there and he knows it, can see an exhaustion settling into your body but a promise is a promise and he allows himself one final smack of the cane, lighter than all the others at the most fleshy and least bruised part of your behind.

"Five," you murmur against the sheets of the bed, your eyes a little glassy as he moves the cane to the side and tries to pull you up to a standing position. He manges it just barely but you lean against his chest, hand snaking up his chest to run your fingers through his chest hair. "Shower?"

You think it's you who asked for a shower but you're not sure, not sure with how your clit throbs and aches as it always does when Elvis does this to you, whenever you do something similar to this. Whenever he disciplines you like you deserve to be, because a simple talking to wouldn't have done, your body needed to know what was at stake. Whoever asked didn't matter as Elvis helped you walk to the bathroom anyway, his hands moving between your legs, playing with your clit, sliding his fingers between your folds gently as you rested your body against his own. It doesn't take long to finish the shower, doesn't take long for Elvis to wrap you in a towel and dry you off, only detaching himself to grab pajamas for both of you. You hadn't been this way last week but it had been earlier in the night, perhaps you were just tired from the day.

The bed sheets and Elvis provide a warmth that finally drags you into the land of sleep willingly and gladly.

It's cold.

It shouldn't be cold, you think. Elvis runs as hot as a furnace and usually makes you so hot that you have to slip from under the covers in the middle of the night. Your eyes blink to try and adjust to your surroundings and you realize it is the middle of the night. Why is it cold in the middle of the night?

Your heart lurches in your chest, moving upward to your throat as your hand moves to Elvis's side of the bed only to feel cool emptiness beside you.

Elvis isn't there. Elvis isn't beside you. You are alone in your shared bed. Was it shared any more? Was this his way of telling you to leave? After everything? Had you finally made him realize you made a mistake?

There's a sliver of your brain, of your mind that knows the thoughts that are swarming your mind are silly and yet you can't listen to that sliver. It's wrong. Elvis isn't here with you. Why hadn't he fucked you to sleep? Why hadn't you woken up with his soft cock inside of you? Had Daddy- Had Elvis taken care of you after he hit you? Where was he? Why wasn't— Why wasn't he here? He left you. He's leaving you. He's going to kick you out when the first rays of sunlight enter through the curtains.

You don't know when you start to sob, don't know when your body starts to shake, the overwhelming lack of warmth settling into your bones, don't know when your stomach threatens to empty onto the bed. All you know is that they happen all at once. All you know is that you've done something to make Elvis abandon you.

Maybe, maybe he was still in the house, maybe you didn't disgust him so much he had to leave the entire house. If you called for him maybe he'd come. Maybe you could find out— maybe you could convince him that it was fine. You were still worthy of his love.

The wail that leaves you would embarrass you in any other context. It would mortify you if your brain could process what was happening.

He hadn't quite registered that the noise he heard was you. Hadn't quite registered that the wail he heard was you. Graceland occasionally made noises that didn't make a whole lot of sense and that hadn't changed in the entire time you've been with him. It's only when he gets closer to your shared room that he hears your wail, your moan of unmitigated distress and anguish and knows it's you. He moves as fast as his body will let him and practically slams open the door, ready to use old karate moves and the gun he's got hidden in his dresser to defend you only to realize there's no one in the room but you.

There's no one in here who could hurt you and yet you're clutching at your stomach, curled in on yourself, looking as if you want to vomit all over everything. When you look up at him he sees your glassy eyes staring back at him, unshed tears in them to go with the ones streaming down your face. He opens his mouth to ask you what's wrong only to hear your whimpers and whispers to yourself.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry D- Elvis. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." It practically sounds like a mantra, a chant you'd only a monk say. It sounds wrong coming from your lips. What did you have to be sorry for? What would make you act this way? In what feels like a flash he moves to sit next to you on the bed and starts to touch you.

For once you shy away from his touch and Elvis's heart falls through his body to the ground. You never do that, even when the two of you hadn't worked through the dumbest set of issues known to man you had never shied away from his touch. Normally you would sink into it, but— what had he done to you. Had earlier been too much? Had he broken something inside you in a way he hadn't before?

"Y/N? Belle? What—" He doesn't get the question out before you whimper.

"You were gonna leave me like I did to you. I— I was alone. You hate— you don't love me anymore. Don't want to be with— you realized what everyone else does."

Tour Guide. Used. Whore. Bel— Jezebel. Not worthy of being with him or anyone else. But especially not him. Not worthy to spend the rest of your life waking up with him. Not worthy to have children with him.

Your hands tighten around your middle even more, as if that's the part of you that needs shielding the most. As if that will make the nausea you feel go away. As if it'll keep your stomach from revolting even as you feel Elvis's hand on your shoulder, tight as it was the first day he met you.

"My— Y/N. My angel from heaven. My Belle. No—" He pulls you into a hug despite your protests and your shaking head. "I couldn't sleep. I was downstairs. You—Belle. I— After everything, I would never do that to you. I could never hate you."

"You did," you whimper, your shoulders shaking even as you feel some form of warmth from him sinking through your pajamas and into your soul. "You did. You— I left you and I deserve— I don't— I made you hate me. You're gonna—"

Elvis shushes you, forcing your body against his, forcing your chest to rub against his, his chest hair brushing against the faintest bit of skin your pajamas show. "No. You're my good girl, Belle. Always have been even when I was so angry with you. I'm here. Your Big Daddy's here." He uses the nickname you had let slip that one time so long ago, knowing he finds it funny. It's supposed to put you at ease and he feels a tension in your shoulders lessen at it.

"For— You won't make me leave?" That's the question you ask, not does he still love you, because the two go hand in hand in your mind. For him to love you, he can't abandon you.

His answer should be silly, it should make you roll your eyes but something deep inside you finally uncurls when you hear him sing one of his own song lyrics acapella. "A team of wild horses couldn't tear us apart."

A sob, stronger than the rest wrenches itself from your throat, finally earning a proper release as he holds you even tighter through the tears, his hands petting your hair, murmuring soft words of comfort. You know the position has to be uncomfortable for him but he doesn't complain, too focused on making sure you're alright. Your tears and shivers finally settle into something manageable after what feels like hours and Elvis moves to lay you down on the bed, his hand still rubbing on your chest, right where your heart is. A whimper escapes your lips in fear only for him to shake his head.

"Let me get on my side of the bed. Then ya can curl up to me," he says and to show you how serious he is, he manages to clamber on top of the bed from the bottom, his hands never leaving your body, the warmth from his touch— his always burning hands allowing embers of warmth to blossom slowly but surely inside of you.

The second he's under the covers, you move to lay on top of him. He can't abandon you, can't leave you without warning if he has to move you from atop his body. Your hands haven't left your stomach as it still continues to roil and twist inside you, the nausea refusing to abate. Elvis looks at you and follows where your hands are before placing the hand that rubbing against your chest onto your stomach. For some strange reason it calms your stomach, allows for your body to settle down, and allows for you to lock your arms around Elvis's middle.

"Stay," you whisper, placing a kiss against his skin.

"Wouldn't dream of doin' anything but."

taglist: @ab4eva, @blurredcolour, @butlersxbirdy, @precious-little-scoundrel, @eliseinmemphis, @prompted-wordsmith, @missmaywemeetagain, @lookingforrainbows, @araxw, @thatbanditqueen, @ellie-24, @austinbutlersgirl67, @heartbrake-hotel, @ccab, @18lkpeters, @slutforsomegoodlettuce, @dkayfixates, @kendralavon7, @chasingwildflowers, @notstefaniepresley, @wanderingelvis, @kxnnxy, @powerofelvis, @stylespresleyhearted y'all know the drill with the taglist by now.

[ofsappho]

treehouse, chapter 2 🔞 (also available on ao3)

Dream of the Endless | Lord Morpheus x reader pregnancy fic

-

A doctor’s appointment and a dream.

-

i decided to prioritize putting this story up on tumblr after ao3 went down for 2 days. so here's the second chapter! i'd hate for this fic to be permanently lost

So Dream didn’t end up leaving his number. Or social media, or really any way to contact him.

You’d checked the notepad by your door, flipped through page after page on the off chance Dream hid something in the very back.

Nothing.

Except for a doodle - a hastily drawn scribble of a raven. You remember the clever little raven outside of the club the night before. Matthew. Cute.

But he was still gone without a word.

So you moped around your apartment for more than a few weeks, only leaving for groceries and whenever your friend prodded at you to leave and accompany them to a bookstore or Shakespeare in the park.

It’s been a very, very, very long time since you’d even interacted with someone with more than friendship in mind, much less gotten dicked down. A year and some months, if your memory is correct. No matter. You pull your mind away from the specifics of that.

Can anyone blame you for being hung up on someone like Dream?

He’s like your teenage Byronic hero dream on steroids. And sometimes, when you close your eyes, you feel like you’re looking in his eyes again, blazing blue fire even in your memories.

If it weren’t for the hickies lining your skin, the ache between your legs, and that little raven sketch, well. You would’ve thought you dreamed him up.

You historically don’t handle abandonment well, even though you know he did nothing wrong, and you hold no resentment. It’s not his fault you have trauma. So you keep to your room, filling the white noise in your brain with television and music and anything at all to keep yourself from thinking of him.

You’re lonely. You hadn’t realized until he’d lit up your life, just for that one night, but you’re lonely. Aimless. For some reason, that encounter with Dream reminded you of all the hopes and longings you shoved to the side in the interest of survival. Which, at the time, entailed whatever work you could get and a roof over your head. A social life was a secondary concern at best.

Well, you’ve achieved those things now.

But you still feel hollow and empty—a shell of the person you wanted to be ten years ago.

You wanted to be happy. You wanted to be surrounded by a family of your own making, one that loved you as much as you loved them.

Your friend Willow is lovely, but they have their own life, their kids. Not much room for you.

For once, you’d tasted feelings far beyond what you’d allowed yourself to feel for so long. And now, you’re not sure you can go back to an empty house and a life tinted in black and white and grey.

You keep up with your therapy appointments, and your therapist recommends you continue putting yourself out there after such an unexpected social success with your one-night stand. Maybe she’s right; perhaps you should actually just get over your issues with being a part of the world and move on with your life properly.

Unfortunately, your plans to do that today (Willow bothered you over text about some local witch faire they wanted to go to and insisted you come with and maybe make some new friends) are stalled by how shitty you feel when you wake up that morning.

Like, ‘someone hit you with a truck’ kind of feeling shitty.

You’re exhausted, which doesn’t make sense because you slept past your alarms, and your whole body aches. A migraine threatens to black out your vision when you sit up. 

You’ve been taking care of yourself on your own for long enough now that typically you can manage all the things you dislike without help; making doctor’s appointments, waiting in line at the pharmacy. Phone calls suck no matter how often you force yourself to make them.

But you can’t seem to drag yourself out of bed this time.

Thankfully, Willow is thrilled to come over and help you. They text you that it’s about time you reached out and didn’t try to take on the world alone.

When they come to pick you up, you’ve successfully showered and thrown on a clean pair of sweatpants and a random t-shirt. That’s the only thing you feel up to wearing at the moment; your stomach is bloated like it does when you PMS, and these clothes feel like wrapping yourself up in a blanket.

PMS. Hm.

Willow fills you in on their kids’ latest shenanigans, then hands you the travel mug of hot tea their wife packed for you after you’ve buckled in next to them.

You’re late. You hadn’t noticed until today - but you’re about two weeks late. You’d taken your placeholder pills on schedule, per your prescription, but the depressive episode had such a grip on you that you’d completely forgotten about your period.

While Willow waits at a stoplight, you interrupt the stream of questions about your well-being. “I’m late.”

The light turns green. You guys are about ten minutes out from the nearest urgent care that takes your (admittedly shitty) health insurance. “How late?” Willow says evenly, their calm demeanor a sharp contrast to the storm raging inside your mind.

It could be nothing—just stress combined with some sort of bug. Birth control pills mess with your cycle, to begin with; that’s why you must take the placebos.

You try not to focus on the other possibility. You don’t even want to name it - irrationally, you fear that naming that outcome will make it true.

The California sun streams through the car windows. The warmth feels nice on your face, comforting and lulling you into a daze. It’s not a super convenient time to drift off, but you’re sapped of all your strength, your fight.

Willow needs to nudge you to pull you out of your car-ride-induced trance. “Um- two weeks. I think,” You reply. Then you need to repeat yourself; an ambulance driving past with its alarms blaring had blocked out what you said.

Your friend nods without taking their eyes from the road, light catching in their dyed purple hair. “I wouldn’t be worried. We’ll see what the doctor says, okay?”

“Okay.”

You can see the parking lot from here, and Willow turns in to look for a spot. “Finish your tea. You won’t feel any better if you’re dehydrated.” Neither of you acknowledges the elephant in the room - that the nurse will almost certainly order a pregnancy test.

You drain the carafe. The peppermint and honey settle your stomach and gives you enough energy to get out of the car and face urgent care. Ugh. You despise going to the doctor.

It’s not the nurse’s fault this sucks. You feel bad that you can’t muster more enthusiasm to answer her fairly-standard questions, but the fluorescent overhead lights kick your migraine into high gear.

“When was the date of your last period?”

You explain the situation; that you’re late, but you’re on the pill, and you’ve been stressed out recently, so sometimes these things just happen.

To her credit, she has a wonderful bedside manner and doesn’t blink twice. “That’s fine. We’ll get you checked out. I’ll have to ask you to provide a urine sample for me after I’m done taking down all your information if that’s alright.”

“Yeah, I can.” You fiddle with the torn edge of the paper they’ve laid out on the exam chair to focus on your breathing. Maybe you should ask for Ibuprofen or something for your headache. But it might fuck up your blood pressure or something, and then you’d have to come back. Nope. Absolutely not.

“And I assume you’ve recently been intimate with at least one male sexual partner? Did you use any other forms of contraception, and would you like us to run a full STD panel?” She’s doing her best not to sound judgmental, and you know she isn’t, but the questions still sound rude. The nurse is doing her job, you tell yourself. She needs to pry.

You sigh. “Just the one, yeah. And we were only… intimate once. Almost four weeks ago. I haven’t done anything like that in over a year, and nothing else since. We kind of, you know, forgot about other forms of contraception? We thought the pill would be enough. And a full panel would be wonderful, thank you.” You’ve learned your lesson about letting your hormones lead you astray; if there’s ever a repeat hookup like this, which you highly doubt, you will most certainly be getting a condom involved—and negotiating the encounter beforehand.

You might have been more cautious with someone else, more level-headed, but Dream had made you wild and carefree. And desired, worthy. Seen.

It was an intoxicating combination. He’s unlike anyone you’ve known, and you’re sure you won’t meet anyone like him again.

“Alright, not a problem. Are you on any medications?”

You clear your throat before continuing. “A few. For my… mental health. Um, Lamictal, Seroquel, Prozac…”

After making her last notes on her iPad, the nurse moves to one of the cupboards to pull out a clear container. “Got it. Alright, I need you to go to the bathroom down the hall…”

And with all of those tasks done, you wait.

You can hear things happening outside the examination room. Beeping, hushed whispers, footsteps on squeaky clean linoleum. Maybe they’ve forgotten about you here. Even when you close your eyes, you can’t block out the white lights reflecting off the equally white walls, blinding you even when you try to imagine that you’re literally anywhere else.

Your stomach roils, nausea knotting up your insides. Even your joints are protesting you being outside of your bed right now. God, you feel like shit.

A tall woman walks in, cloaked in neatly-pressed scrubs. She looks friendly, too, and her demeanor takes the edge off your anxiety. “Hi there, I’m Dr. Chang, the doctor on staff today. I’ll be taking a look at you if that’s alright. I’m sorry to hear that you haven’t been feeling well.”

She checks all the things you expect her to. Her stethoscope is chilly on your skin as she listens to your heart, and it sends a shiver through you. Then she checks your throat and feels your stomach. “I agree; this does appear just to be some bloating. I recommend you try some ginger tea when you get home.”

Before she can continue, the nurse from before knocks and lets herself in, handing over a paper printout with some whispered words.

“So we just received the results of your pregnancy test, and it came back positive. Congratulations. I believe four weeks along, per the date of your last period.”

Your hands press up against your stomach. You’re pregnant. Actually pregnant. There’s nothing you can feel, not yet, but the world seems to have shifted in the blink of an eye. Everything- everything is different. “Oh.”

For a moment, you just sit there in shock, completely silent and trying to wrap your head around the news. There’s a fetus growing inside of you right now, as you think of it. Before you do anything else, you quickly shoot Willow a text and set your phone to silent, knuckles white as you clench it. Almost hard enough to break the case protector, you remind yourself. You have to be careful, especially as you can’t afford to replace it right now. So you slowly relinquish your death grip. With effort.

The doctor pauses, waiting to see if you say anything else. When she realizes you’re still listening, just unable to put together coherent words, she nods and continues. “From what I understand, you aren’t currently in a relationship with the father?”

Dream. If only that asshole had left his number like he said he would.

This is all too much, too soon. Like, fuck, you still can’t believe your suspicions were right. Maybe you manifested this or some shit. Ugh.

But you can’t linger on that any further, not when you have to figure out what to do next.

There’s no sense in raging against the inevitable. You’ll be alone in this, no matter how much you wish you weren’t. So you put him out of your mind. He’s gone. “No, no, I’m not. I have no way of getting in contact with him. So he won’t be a factor in any of this.” Practicality wins your internal struggle between what priorities should be in which order.

Whatever decision you make next will be for no one but yourself. If Dream wanted a say in it, perhaps he should’ve stuck around.

It is what it is. For now, you put him away in your head. You can revisit your spite, bitterness, and panic when you’re not in public.

“Well, alright. If that’s the case, then you have two options. You can continue with the pregnancy, in which case you need to schedule an ultrasound in a month with an obstetrician, we can provide a reference if you need one, or if you’d like, you can terminate the pregnancy.”

“Terminate?”

The doctor nods. “Yes, you are early enough in gestation that we would be able to prescribe a medical abortion if you chose to terminate the pregnancy.” Her tone remains clinical and nonjudgmental. You can tell she’ll back whatever choice you settle on. You appreciate that.

You’d always wanted a family of your own. Babies of your own. This isn’t exactly what you intended when you first made that dream years ago as a small child. You dreamed of pouring all the love you never received into someone else, someone innocent and unmarked by the world. Someone you could protect and cherish.

A little one of your own, to love you and to make you proud.

Being a young single mother is hard. And if you fuck up, you’re not the one who will pay for it. They will—your baby.

You’ve begun already to think of the fetus as your baby. Damn it.

You look up at her for the first time since the doctor told you the test results. “Thank you for giving me that option. And if I decided to go through with the pregnancy? Are the ultrasound and the OBGYN  everything?”

It will be hard. Your job is barely enough to pay rent on your shitty one-room apartment and fill your fridge, much less pay for what looks to be at least another eight months of prenatal care. Baby clothes. Toys, books. College. And you’ll have to take time off to actually have the baby.

It will be so fucking difficult.

But Dream reminded you, though unintentionally on his part, that you never wanted to be stuck like this, alone and numb inside for the rest of your life. You feel a little bit of gratitude welling up between the cracks of your fear. Perhaps you’ve been waiting your whole life for a chance like this. To finally try your hand at being happy.

You hope the baby looks like him, even if the resemblance is slight.

Dream was so beautiful. Almost inhuman. And kind. Kind to you, who needed it desperately. The baby would do a lot better with his genetics instead of yours.

Maybe you’ll try to find him. You’d hire a private investigator if you had the money, which you most certainly do not, but you want to see him again. At least to tell him about the baby. No expectations for him to be involved; you won’t be beholden to any man who doesn’t want you, but at the very least, you want to look in his eyes one more time.

He’s haunting you. It’s more than a little pathetic of you, longing for a pretty stranger. But you miss him.

“Uh, no, unfortunately, there’s a little bit more to it. If you carry the pregnancy to term, you will have to come off all the medications you have listed here. Ideally, as soon as possible - you should make an appointment with your prescriber to begin a taper.”

“All of them?” You ask hesitantly.

“Yes. All of what you have listed below can increase the risk of birth defects and complications, and the Prozac, if continued through your third trimester, can result in your baby being born with neonatal abstinence syndrome, or what is better known as neonatal withdrawal.”

You haven’t been off those medications in a year and a half. They’ve kept you stable and functional. Safe. “I see.” You don’t like the person you remember being before you started taking them. That person was a terror to others and to yourself. It’s a good balance of mood stabilizers, antipsychotics, antidepressants. You need them.

But they could hurt the baby.

Withdrawal sucks, majorly, so you’ve heard. It’s not something you want to undergo for at least another few years; when you have a better job and maybe someone else to see you through it.

But you don’t have another option if you want this child. You’ll have to do it alone, and broke, and vulnerable.

You almost start crying in the examination room, but you wipe away the tears before they fall. Good. It would be so humiliating to break down in front of this stranger.

You can’t go back to the way you were before the medication, the therapy. You wouldn’t survive that. And you have a duty to be a good mother, beyond just the mechanics of having the kid. Good mothers don’t make their children suffer for their issues.

Your mind wanders back to Dream, regardless of your efforts to put him aside. You have to keep telling yourself that you know literally nothing about him. You don’t know his last name or his favorite color. But it sure would be nice if he was here with you now.

No. This is for you.

“You don’t have to make a decision today. I just wanted to provide you with all the information you need to choose. You still have time, so let us know whatever we can do to support you. Do you have any questions?”

Your voice rings out clear and strong when you answer her. “No, no. It’s okay. I’ve made my choice. I’m going to keep the baby.”

You can do it. This is something good and pure and worth fighting for.

You promise yourself that you’ll survive this. And you don’t need him. You’ve survived worse - and while you don’t believe in any gods or spirits, you’d like to see even them try and stop you.

“Alright, if you’re sure.”

“…yes. I am.”

You leave with a referral for an obstetrician appointment in a month and an armful of different leaflets of various things the urgent care wants you to know.

You didn’t tell Willow of your decision, but they take one look at your face as you get in the car, and they know. “You’re keeping the baby.”

You shouldn’t be nervous telling them - this is your best friend, the closest thing you have to family. “Yes.”

They smile, bright and proud. “Well, I always hoped you’d make Diana and I aunties one day.”

Willow promises to be there through your pregnancy and after. But they remind you not to be so proud, to not wait for things to get dire before asking for help. “We’ve always considered you one of us, but we can’t support you if you don’t tell us you need supporting.”

And for the first time, you plan to follow through on your promise to reach out. Things are looking up, and you feel hope unfurling in you, hesitant and paper-thin.

You lock your front door behind you tightly, checking once, then twice to ensure it’s secure. You’re alone, just like before. But not truly alone anymore.

It will be some time before the baby shows up on an ultrasound, and you remember the doctor telling you that the first trimester is particularly vulnerable and miscarriages are frequent. That would ruin you. You close your eyes, and you hope against hope that the little one will make it through.

And now that you’re barefoot on your old living room carpet, all the feelings you’ve been holding down come out. You sob and scream yourself hoarse, hot tears tracking down your cheeks.

You’re not sure who you’re crying for; yourself, or your baby who won’t get to have a father, or for the possibility that even if Dream knew, he would still walk away. Or worse.

You want more than anything to tell him.

Weeping is more exhausting than it seems. After you stop sniffling so loudly, you stumble into your room and quickly peel off your clothes. The nest of blankets on your mattress seems to be the optimal place to tuck yourself into, dark and soft and warm.

Sleep drags you under fast.

Full-on dreams, like this one, are rare for you. Especially ones where you find any consciousness at all. Some people are just like that; dreamless. If you’ve ever been plagued with nightmares, you never remember them.

The world around you is grey and misty. You can feel fog dampening your skin and clinging to your hair as you turn in search of a horizon. Nothing. Just an expanse of clouded sky with no end or beginning.

For the first time since you tumbled into this vision, you notice the ground beneath you. Or maybe the ground didn’t truly exist until you realized it was there. It’s solid, bits of fresh grass and stubborn weed growing together out of dark, rich soil, their brilliant green leaves bursting with dew.

It’s been a while since you’ve seen that shade of green, so full of life that you wish you could carry it with you wherever you go. Since you moved to the city, all you see now are brown, sun-baked palm trees and dead front lawns.

You feel the urge to open your hands, and when you do, sprigs of young dandelion blossoms lie in the center of your palms. Their bright, cheery yellow blooms are surreal, stolen from an Impressionist painting and plopped right in the middle of a Realist landscape.

This is a good dream. You’d happily spend the rest of the night here curled up on the earth, cushioned by young clovers as the sweet smell of wild violets washes you clean.

Admittedly, it could be better.

“You called out for me.” You turn at the sound of his voice. Dream, in the distance. Of course.

He looks more real than anything else in this place, including you, and simultaneously out of focus. Try as you might, you can’t concentrate on him enough to see him as you would in real life. He belongs here, and you don’t.

You blink, and suddenly he stands before you in the same outfit, of course; tall and proud in the dream your mind built out of memories.

You know he’s a person just like you, but Dream barely looks human here. That’s the way dreams are about other people, you think. Always a reflection of your perception and never objective.

Here his skin is pale as bone, with what looks like the North Star itself split into two and set in the hollows of his eye sockets. Dream’s mouth remains stained red, and this isn’t the time to think about him like that, to picture biting down on his flushed mouth until you draw real blood.

But this is your dream, so if you think about it, you should be able to do as you please.

His hair remains messy. Even your sleepy mind gets that correct, and you admit he looks perfect this way. Terrifying. And perfect.

It takes you a second to decide that he most closely resembles what you think a god should look like - powerful and commanding in every facet of his being. Even the way his brow furrows when you fail to answer his question is intimidating.

You have a healthy sense of self-preservation, though you ignore it most of the time. And that instinct kicks in suddenly; people on the Internet call it ‘uncanny valley.’ Dream is strange, unknown, and those qualities make you want to turn and run. But you don’t - this is your dream painted by your mind. “Hello.”

His face is more expressive in the real world. Hell, one of those statues you compared him to would emote more than he does in your dream. “You called for me.” You can hear an odd, alien tone in his voice, an out-of-place harmony.

“You didn’t leave a number behind.”

“What is it that you want?” Dream’s mouth is a furious line that grows more menacing the longer you go without saying anything. He seems about ready to unhinge his jaw or something. It shouldn’t be hot. It shouldn’t.

It is.

Of course, the version of him that lives in your imagination jumps straight to the point.

You laugh, the sound bubbling up inside of you. It spills out, loud against the silence enveloping the two of you. With it spills all your anxiety and that animal hindbrain caution. Fuck it. “Well, since I probably won’t ever find you in the real world and I’m just talking to a figment of my subconscious, it doesn’t matter. Maybe it will feel good to tell you here, though it won’t do much. I’m fucking talking to myself.” He watches you closely like you’re a threat. “I’m pregnant.”

Shock looks so out of place on his regal countenance, usually as implacable as the deep ocean. It’s comical. “You’re…”

Now, you know he heard you the first time, but you’re in the mood to be annoying. It’s not like he can do anything about it. “Pregnant. Yeah. With a fetus. A baby. Your baby. There hasn’t been anyone else, and no one since. I know it’s yours. And you’re part of my dream, so you should know that too.” The ground below your feet rumbles, and you almost lose your footing. Thankfully, you avoid faceplanting in the grass without too much flailing. Weird. When you look around, the fog seems alive, pulsing and swirling through the air in a fury. Almost like sand.

Then everything settles as if nothing happened. “I see,” He says. And the starlight in Dream’s eyes dims until he looks precisely like he did when you first met. A human, just like you. You hold back the urge to step closer and run your fingers along the arch of his cheekbone, to inhale and fill your lungs with the salt and smoke and warmth of his scent. He’s so pretty that it seems unfair. You still want him. Maybe it was a good thing he left without a word - it would be so easy to wrap your mind, life, and heart around a man like Dream.

You don’t move closer.

All it takes is a split second for your fears to roar back to life. Your dream responds in kind, conjuring up menacing, shapeless forms. Nightmares. “I’m going to keep the baby. If I see you again, you don’t need to be involved, if you don’t want. I won’t ask for child support or anything; you could be part of our child’s life. But I’m going to keep them. I’m just afraid you’d take it badly or that you’d try to take them from me. I don’t want to fight you, but I will if I must.”

You can be realistic; you likely would lose a custody battle if he decided to fuck with you. Dream’s clothes seemed ridiculously high quality and expensive, and you remember how power trailed in his shadow where he walked. You have none of that.

But you’d give the fight your all.

Your mind gives you a break and doesn’t make you get into it with him in your sleep. Your dream stays sweet and easy as one of his hands gestures towards the shadows. The nightmares flee before you realize they’re gone. “Do you wish for me to be involved?”

You still don’t fully know your answer to that.

You want what’s best for the baby. That became your priority the moment you decided to go through with the pregnancy.

“I mean. Yeah. Probably. Again, only if you want, in whatever capacity you want. I’m not exactly set up to be a single parent. But you’re me, so you should already know that. I don’t need to explain further. I won’t force you to do anything, though. This is my choice. You can’t make me change my mind.”

In your dream, he hesitates, then looks you over. “And that is all you wish? Truly?” He asks, his resonant voice echoing in your ears, overlapped with the sound of wings fluttering and the hiss of sand in the wind.

“Uh- yeah. Yeah.”

“This dream is over.”

You wake up alone. It’s tomorrow; you must’ve slept straight through yesterday after getting back from urgent care. You can’t remember what you dreamed about. Hopefully, it was something good.

-

friendly reminder that this does also exist on ao3 if you'd like to read ahead! you can find it here.

thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy!

[arudoe]

talk about bruise anything you want, i wanna hear

YAAAY MORE BRUISE

i alr talked about some hcs so ill chat a bit about some aus i have heehee!

- idol jay au !

i feel like this one is prolly the most well known (only because its the only one ive ever drawn for….) but basically jay is an idol/musician and cole is his nr1 fan! it was very inspired by prime empire and also those like harry styles x reader wattpad fics from back in the day… yeah…

all ive got for the story so far is that cole went to a fansign event and while getting his magazine signed jay also sneaks his personal phone number on one of the pages (something along tbe lines of xxx-xxx-xxx text me o_<) and… yeah things move on from there 🙏🙏

- mad scientist jay and his creature cole

OKAYY this might be one of my weirder ones but i think about it a lot 😭😭

anyways jay is a disabled basement dweller college dropout scientist guy and one day he kind of feels some paranormal presence in his lab and conducts a bunch of tests and comes to tbe conclusion there is a ghost floating around in his lab. so like the normal person he is he tries to communicate with it but only gets a bunch of weird cryptid messages that dont make sense… so he comes to bright idea of “hey! i should make this ghost a vessel they can possess!” so he makes a body frankenstein style and low and behold his plan worked!

cole, a ghost from the 80s who possessed the body is now chilling in jays lab with him, but like most people who have been dead for over 40 years he is very curious about the outside world and what has changed.

but jay for some reason is very adamant about him not going outside at all, which causes some tension between the two..

(the reason is jay has abandoned issues) (also cole is kind of a freak of nature) (affectionately)

I LIKE THIS AU A LOT cus its so stupid honestly and i love me some ghost cole also like im still mad about how ninjago decided to completely discard jays love for inventing… let the man make his little trinkets…

- wizard school au

basically what it sounds like… they are wizards.. at a wizard school… and do magic…

yes this was partly inspired by h*rry p*tter BUT ONLY THE VIBES (i barely remember the movies)

BUT UM this is like a whole universe thing and theres so so much lore and world building so… if u want a separate post about it… lmk

- roommates au!

this is my most recent one (and the one i think about the most) but um yeah pretty self explanatory it was based off this jdrama/manga called good morning call so uhhh ya!

basically cole and jay were enemies throughout highschool and basically spend all their energy hating each other but they to their separate ways during college but reunite (unwillingly) as roommates!

they navigate living with each other and learn to let go of their hate (which stemmed from a mixture of misunderstandings and insecurities) and then eventually fall in love!!

i think this is the au i have the most work done on (i have a draft for every major scene that happens in the story heehee) and perhaps! one day i will actually make it a real thing !

so um yeah! i have a bunch more but most of them are very unfinished or just… vague ideas or vibes i go by… i also have some aus that arent bruise so um if anyone wants to hear about those… smiles

BUTTT TYSM FOR UR QUESTION i dont rly say this a lot but any interaction i get with my content means the world to me and i always giggle and kick my feet when reading reblog comments bc everyone is so nice 🥹🥹

[cuubism]

wip update

since I have a good number of actively-posting WIPs that some lovely people have been very kind about and invested in (and which I am very slow in updating), I figured it might be only polite to post a little update on where those are.

the melting press of the sun (dreamling) - Never intended this as a longfic, there may or may not be more than the 2 chapters it has now. I have a bit more written but it's disjointed and incomplete. I intentionally didn't leave any brutal cliffhangers on what I did post for this reason. We'll see if that one comes back.

Deja vu, Deja connu (dreamling) - The slowness in updating probably belies how deeply emotionally invested I actually am in this fic. Chapter three is just a major challenge--it's very long, covers a lot, has lots of fluff in the first part (fluff is kinda my Achilles heel, though not quite as much as wedding scenes, which this chapter also has) and a lot of heavy content later. But I have the whole fic outlined, a bunch of chapter 4 and 5 written in advance, and I'm super excited about the stuff that comes later, so it will definitely be finished, just... slowly. At least for this chapter.

In Waking Dreams (dreamling) - My current priority for an update. Chapter 4 just hit 10k and will probably hit 15k before its done (god help me), and I feel somewhat obliged to finish chapter 5 as well so I can post them in quick succession. Chapter 4 necessarily ends on a cliffhanger as it catches up to the events of chapter 3, but I feel bad about two cliffhangers in a row. But that one soon, I hope. (chapter 5 has a lot of the juiciest, long awaited scenes promised by the fic's premise, so I hope you will like that one when it's finally done 😅)

IRL (malec) - Fic that I have a tendency to get stuck on for 15 months, then write a ton of all at once, repeat. But I actually picked it up again the other day for the first time in ages, and I think I know all of the events of the chapter now, so who knows! Maybe I'll actually manage an update!

Subject: I Love You (malec) - Fic that I shamefully left with ONE CHAPTER remaining for a full year now. Honestly not sure why. Someday I will pick it up tho, I swear to god, or maybe I'll just cut the chapter short and make it an epilogue. (Actually maybe I do know why. It's another damn proposal/wedding scene. My absolute weakness and failure, I should stop writing them entirely)

mind & heart, body & soul (malec) - This fic haunts me, it follows me around 24/7 like a vengeful spirit that can't find rest. I can't wrangle it back into making any sense in my head, but for the sake of both my own sanity and the story's frankly frightening number of readers (I love you but you scare me), I've been trying to do one final chapter to offer some kind of wrap-up. Hopefully I can manage it.

Leviathan (malec) - My long held passion project that I have, in classic form, not touched in months. In fact I've been stuck on the same chapter I'm on now since probably 2020, when I first started writing the fic. This particular middle part of the fic is just vexing me to no end. At some point, I will decide on a course of action, inevitably flawed, and just power through that chapter (I say, for the 2nd year in a row). Why did I give this story two big villains again? Or think having a whole separate story arc in the middle of the fic was a good idea? Ah well.

in the palm of your hand (malec) - The one and only multichapter I finally caved and marked abandoned. I learnt my lesson with this fic about letting a oneshot expand into a completely unplanned longer fic. Boy did I...

----

I feel like I don't express it enough, but I really appreciate everyone who's ever read one of my fics, commented, kudos'd, chatted with me about them on tumblr, made podfics or art or translations, shared headcanons in my inbox or your own fics with me... I'm always blown away by the kindness and interest, and love getting to share little (or big!) stories with you and am so happy when you enjoy them ❤️ I love doing fandom with you.

[mutantninjamidlifecrisis]

Your 23!!!!!???? I’m also 23??!!!!!

Dude; how the hell did you get so good at writing/pos/affectionate

What are your secrets and tips??

Oh wow this got longer than I thought it would be but anyway lets kick this off by saying age is no number! Don’t ever feel like you’re too young/old to start/improve. Also take any advice I give here with a grain of salt! I’m a stem major, I specialise in Zoology, not English. I’ve never taken a writing class, this is just what I've found works from my own experience and also from talking with other people that write fics.

I think first up, have a concept that you deeply, deeply love - an idea that you want to see so bad you’re willing to remove it from your brain and write it down onto a page. This is harder than it sounds.

There are two types of writers, I think. Type One – the people that want everything structured and figured out before they begin, and then there’s Type Two - the others that go: Fuck it, we ball, and type out the story without a plan and let it fly by the seat of their pants. Both styles have their pros and cons. Sometimes when your story is too structured and you’re trying to drive through plot points the story can feel very stiff and rail-roady, like you’re trying to play out certain beats rather than letting the narrative go where it would naturally flow. But sometimes letting the story flow without a plan for long enough means you get lost in it, and it never actually come to an overarching message or end point (i.e., it can get very wish-washy, and parts you want to really hit are less likely to because you haven’t had a pre-established plan leading up to it). You’ll probably naturally lean one way or the other, but I think both these styles can and should be interchangeable when you’re in the process of writing a story. I think having a good structure is particularly important the longer your fic is. The way I usually do things is to have a loose structure set out (typing out dotpoints of what I want to achieve from a chapter and the sequence of events that will play out, and keeping this as a reference during the writing process), and then let myself go wild with everything else in between (probably how I end up with 10k+ chapters. Which. Is not advisable, I think 2-7k is a much more reasonable number).

You might also want to have in mind how long your story is going to be and how much time you’re willing to put into writing it before you start <- (CJ has many sadly abandoned wips because they lost sight of where the story was going and didn’t plan out their time schedule appropriately) I try to plan ahead and have some vague idea of where I want the story to end. This helps a lot with motivation when writing.

If you’re able to write out a one-shot, I would highly recommend it. I tend to really like writing multi-chapter fics because the brainrot gets to me and I have no impulse control.

Once you have your concept and your loose structure (start, middle, climax, end), you’re going to want to expand on things. i.e. what are you trying to say with your story. What are the themes that really hit for you. What scenes are going to make you go absolutely feral (you can write these first, if you want). I’ve got a scene a chapter or two ahead that I already have in mind that’s going to make me go insane, and that’s the carrot at the end of the stick that’s pulling me through areas that I don’t want to write so much.

I also have like, sheets for each character with a list of dotpoints relating to their background, motivations, feelings towards other characters and how these dynamics may evolve over time etc. This is a really useful resource to flip back to when I’m writing.

Research, research, research. Google, read, watch videos. Expand on the stuff that you do not know, or stuff that you do know and want to expand upon (for example, I have had a panic attack before. I can write from experience of what that is like, however I do not know what it’s like from other’s perspectives, and they may have completely different symptoms to my own). The more information you’re able to gather, the more believable and interesting the story is going to be to the reader.

Do Not. I repeat. Do NOT write that you are a new writer/sorry im bad at summaries <- that kind of stuff in your fic description if you’re going post to ao3. I know it is tempting. I have imposter syndrome and the urge to lower people’s expectations before they jump in is very strong, but you gotta at least pretend to be confident. The summary is for marketing yourself and convincing people to give you a chance. You can add that stuff to the author’s notes if you’d really like. People will usually be willing to give you a shot even if you think you’re summary is bad. And often your writing is a lot better than you think it is (after having stared at it for hours). Also, the more you write and post, the better you will get.

I guess the only other advice is uh… Read! Read a lot. I don’t read nearly as much non-fanfiction as I should, but I am constantly reading, and I do believe that there's some non-published stuff out there that's a lot better than "official" books or whatever. There’s so many amazing authors out there – fic writers or no, and there's always going to be someone (probably a lot of someones) better than you. Don't be discouraged by that! Keep in mind the kind of stuff that really affects you, and how the writer got you to that point.

I’m sure I’ve forgotten/left stuff out here so if you ever have more questions feel free to ask. Also google is your friend! There’s so many incredible resources out there that can teach you how to write/structure/improve your story.

Most importantly, have fun with it. You’re not getting paid; you don’t owe anyone anything. If you’re not enjoying yourself, what’s the point?

[summercourtship]

About the Kiss Drabble!!!

Can i ask for Vulpes Inculta? If yes can you do number 14?

14 - A kiss so desperate that the two wind around each other, refusing to let go until they are finished

Of course you can ask for Vulpes!! Generally, I’ll accept requests for any character I’ve written before. And I’m like… super excited to write him more, especially in an objectively sillier context than my actual vulpes x courier fic.  This ended up being slightly longer than the drabble length I had said but that’s okay lmao, I had a SCENARIO (it's like 1200 words). Anyway I love like... companion!vulpes scenarios/fics.

KISS DRABBLE PROMPTS

Vulpes was watching you struggle to climb over a fence, his arms crossed and eyebrows raised. He’d suggested multiple times that the two of you kept moving, although you knew that his motivation was to try and subtly corral you towards Cottonwood Cove without you noticing. You’d been successfully avoiding his attempts to get you to visit Caesar, but you could feel his patience wearing thin with every passing day that you continued to dodge his request. He just didn’t seem to understand why you didn’t want to visit the man whose entire ideology said that your only purpose in life was to have children.  

With a huff you swung your leg over the top of the not-particularly-tall fence, pulling yourself onto the other side before dropping onto the ground. 

“I think it would have been easier for you to try to find a hole.” He remarked. You waved your hand dismissively behind you, not bothering to look back at him. 

“That would take up too much time, I just want to check out these boxes.” You began walking to a gutted pre-war van not a few yards from the fence, with what was clearly an abandoned camp in front of it. The remains of a fire, an old bedroll, some crates, and a few ominous bloodstains sat in the shadow of the van, waiting for you to loot them. 

“So you said.” You ignored his comment, instead crouching by one of the crates and pulling out a bobby pin to try and open it. 

You had barely bent over when a force pushed you down, using the shift in your balance to easily knock you to the ground. You yelped, more from surprise than any pain, scrambling to pull out your weapon. But your assailant had the advantage over you and kicked it from your hand as soon as you had grabbed it. Distantly, you registered Vulpes cursing, though you were preoccupied with the woman above you. 

It appeared that a raider had been hiding in the van and decided to take the opportunity you presented. Luckily she was only carrying a rusty pipe as a weapon, which you were able to wrap your hands around and try to pull from her grasp. 

Then, as she yanked the pipe back from your hold, she sputtered and choked, looking down to where Vulpes was now pressing his ripper into her gut. You barely managed to roll away before she collapsed, dead. 

Shocked, you looked from the corpse to Vulpes. You didn’t even have it in you to make a snarky remark about how you could’ve handled her yourself. Instead, you could only muster a small laugh. “You saved me.”

He put the ripper away and the desert was silent without it's mechanical whirring.

“Caesar wants to see you.” He shifted slightly, almost uncomfortable as he looked down at you. “He would be disappointed if I let you die. Especially to a lowlife like that.” 

You stared at him for a moment longer before sighing and standing, brushing the dirt off of your pants. You grabbed your gun from where it had landed when the raider kicked it, placing it back at your side. “Well. I guess we should find somewhere to sleep, right?” 

Vulpes scaled the fence easily, landing on the other side in the matter of seconds. He turned back to look at you through the fence, frowning. “You cannot avoid Caesar forever.” 

“Once I have an actual reason to go down that way, I’ll pop by for a visit.” You began to climb again, the process slightly easier now that you had done it once. You could see him watching you, rolling his eyes. 

“You’ve been saying that for almost two weeks.” 

“And I haven’t had a reason to go down that way.” You dropped down from the fence. “You don’t have to travel with me.”

“I was told to bring you to Caesar.” 

“Then we’ll go on my time.” It was a conversation you’d had at least three times with him already, and it always played out the same. 

You walked with him, letting him lead the way (slightly) as you fiddled with your pip-boy and tried to grapple with your thoughts. Vulpes had killed someone for you. And even if his only motivation for doing so was because of Caesar, he still deemed your survival more important than anything.

Despite your desire to, you didn't dare sneak a look at him, sure that he would be able to feel your stare on his skin.

You only realized he had stopped walking when you almost ran into him. He was looking at you, expectantly, and you struggled to figure out what he had said before giving up and asking him to repeat himself. 

“Will this do?” He gestured behind him to a small shack. You nodded, pulling your gun and approaching. Once you had ensured that the inside was clear of any creatures or humans, you let yourself sit on the single dusty cot. Leaning back, you rested your head against the wall, letting your eyes shut. 

You could hear Vulpes moving around, placing his things down and investigating the cupboards and lockers, before his footsteps came to a stop. Then the cot dipped beside you. Startled, you opened your eyes to see him sitting in the exact same position as you, his head turned towards you. 

“I don’t like you-” You began, only to frown when he interrupted you.

“I’ve heard much worse.” 

“I’m not done.” You sighed, closing your eyes again. “I don’t like you, but I wanted to say thank you for saving me earlier.” 

“Like I said, it was for Caesar.”

“Oh really?” You opened your eyes again, leaning to look at him only to find him facing forward. He had a nice profile, you supposed, with strong features. 

“Yes, profligate.” He turned to look at you again, that same expression of annoyance that seemed to be on his face a lot when it came to you replaced by something that you weren’t able to discern. His eyes briefly looked down to your lips before snapping back to your eyes. But you’d seen it.  

And then you leaned forward, acting faster than your thoughts which were screaming at you that this was a bad idea, crashing your lips onto his. For a moment, he tensed and seemed like he was going to pull away from you before he pushed back against your lips, returning the kiss with a desperation you hadn’t expected. His hands rose to hold the sides of your head, threading through your hair to dip your face backwards as he shifted to practically drink you in.  

Maybe you would regret this when you parted, maybe you wouldn’t. You knew that this would have consequences- there was no way you made out with one of Caesar’s closest men and didn’t pay for it later. But right now, with his hands in your hair and your tongue swiping against his lips, begging for entrance, you couldn’t care less. 

You shifted, moving so you straddled his waist to deepen the kiss even further, opening your mouth and inviting him in. His tongue flicked against yours, pulling a whimper from your throat that you would certainly deny later. He groaned in response, moving his hands from where they’d landed on the sides of your face to wrap around your back, pulling you closer to him until your chest was pressed entirely against his. Your hands gripping his head, and you momentarily mourned the fact that his hair wasn’t long enough for you to pull or really grab onto. 

With a final gasp, you parted to catch your breath, panting. Despite no longer kissing, you stayed within a few inches of him as you breathed each other in, sitting in silence for a moment before he spoke.   

“Will you let me take you to Caesar now?”

“No.”

[annwrites]

I know I'm about to disappoint a number of people with this, but I'd rather just put it out there, instead of leaving my readers waiting for something I've now decided isn't going to happen.

I will not be doing the Aemond x SG (reader) happily-ever-after AU.

Reasons why under the cut:

I want to preface by saying I have started a draft of it, which I will be keeping saved on my Google Drive, incase I ever change my mind one day and/or find a way to edit it that will please me.

Now, for the reasons why I've chosen to abandon the one-shot:

There is no feasible way for me to write it which will keep canon events in-place, or keep SG & Aemond both in-character.

I initially wanted the HEA myself, but, at this point, I feel like if I published it, it would be solely for fan-service. Something I myself detest. I hated when GoT did it, & I've hated when HotD has done it.

SG would never be happy in any of the Free Cities, due to slavery. The only one she would ever find a modicum of contentment in would be Braavos—a place most unfit for a dragon to reside, due to most of it being under water.

And please don't suggest I send them to Sothoryos or Yi-To or Leng or something. Bc, just... No.

Aemond is not going to abandon Vhagar so they can go live on a floating island somewhere. Which leaves them with little other possibilities of where to relocate.

And, say I went with my one anon's idea of having them make a pact with the Price of Pentos like Daemon did (he gives them refuge in exchange for Vhagar's protection against the Triarchy). SG would be forced to make slaves answer to her & Aemond would live out his days doing naught. Riding Vhagar, taking long walks on the beach, etc. He'd feel, effectively, useless.

And once the Dance broke out? He'd be chomping at the fucking bit to return to Westeros to go to war. And for him to fight against SG's half of the family? It'd rip them apart.

If he stayed just to make her happy, he'd come to resent her, bc he would feel gelded. Having his dragon, his knowledge of battle-planning, skills with a sword all for nothing.

Say I make it so the Dance never happens. I'm just abandoning canon in such a major way that I don't feel comfortable with. Like. Aemond exists in ASoIaF bc of the Dance—not the other way around.

And I don't see their families not coming after them in some form. Whether that's Jace flying to Essos to try & retrieve his twin, or Aegon or Otto sending men after Aemond, they'd never live in peace. Not for the first few years there, at least.

And Aemond is just... Not a healthy match for her. I'm sorry. I myself have tried to change a toxic male partner & the shit cannot be done. He is obsessed with his niece. If she put a toe too far out of line, he would come to show his true colors & she would permanently live in fear of him for the rest of her days.

And that fear would only further embolden his efforts to keep her. He would see it as her not loving him as she's "meant" to, which, must, by extension, mean she may leave him. Time to batten down the hatches & ensure she has no place left to run.

The phrase "if I can't have you, no one can" comes to mind.

So, that brings me to what I may still eventually write: the tragic ending fic for the two of them.

The events of Sons & Daughters chapters 1-8 would be canon, as well as all of the outtakes, minus perhaps the Cregan pregnant sex one—I'd have to figure that one out. But it would start immediately after the Harrenhal outtake ended. It's why that chapter ended so abruptly: I was setting up for this potential fic.

Make NO mistake: this AU would NOT be canon. Chapter 9 is what is canon.

This fic would simply exist to explore a terribly dark "what if" version of my story. And it will include many triggering scenes. Posts will be tagged accordingly when/if the time comes.

Well, that's all I really had to say about this lol. Feel free to still send me your thoughts/commentary. I'd be surprised if a couple people didn't try to talk me back into the happy fic & out of the dark one, but I think my mind is pretty-well made up about it. Sorry!

[spectralsleuth]

Favorite fics? Doesn't have to be rise or even turtle related

Oh man I got very excited for this ask. I have been in a lot of different fandoms for a very long time- but lets start with some of my all timers.

Now What I'm Going To Say May Sound Indelicate (Rated E)

A Reddie fic for It CH2, which I've probably reread about fifty times. It's unfinished, and probably never will be finished, but it's absolutely worth a read. The writing is incredible, and it's my singular favorite fic of all time. A lot of medical procedures and recovery, since (spoiler) someone gets impaled at the end of the movie and this is exploring how they might live through that.

_________________________________________________

Blue Sky (Rated T (from what I remember))

PDF VERSION

I hope this link works- the first link is fanfiction dot net, which is hard to use after so many years, and the other is a pdf I found of someone who downloaded a version to share. This fic is from 2011, and is actually pretty famous. Based off of Portal 2, what happens when Wheatley gets a body? I've actually been meaning to reread it because I barely remember it at this point, but this fic came out about a year before I graduated high school and opened my eyes to the fact that fanfiction can be actual published novel quality.

Also friendly reminder that if you love a fic, download it. Not to repost obviously, but websites disappear and works get deleted for any number of reasons and you may in fact be helping an author out.

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Wow. This is fucking wild-

From Out the Ocean Risen (Rated T)

A Pacific Rim fic that started publishing in 2013- last time I reread this, YEARS AGO, the series was as of yet unfinished. It's a fantastic body-horror-esque story of the implications of aliens and hiveminds and what makes a monster. It's Newton Giezler-centric and FANTASTICALLY written-

and it JUST updated this month in 2023. I had no idea, but searching through my fic list made me notice. I thought, surely it's just an update to apologize for abandoning the fic- but no! It's an actual new chapter.

If you guys ever wanted to show support for a fic that's been abandoned, this one deserves it immensely. Show it some love, it's never too late to hop on board and enjoy a fic and you never know what someone will return to.

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Pirate King Laurence (Rated T)

'His Majesties Dragon' is a super good age of sail book series, sometimes called 'Temeraire', that's as if a Pride and Prejudice character was captain of a dragon crew. This is a little bit of an AU to that, and is one of my all time favorite Temeraire fic series.

_________________________________________________

the run and go (Rated M)

Post Homestuck fic. 560k words. Still being updated- enough said, it's fantastic. This is probably the longest fic on my list. Involves a lot of unpacking about Dave and Bro and not just what it's like recovering from an abusive childhood, but reconciling with the person you love who abused you. Also everyone lives. Everyone.

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>Dave: survive three years on this rock (Rated T)

One more Homestuck fic for the road- there was a period of time where the Homestuck tag was nothing BUT meteor fic. If you were in the fandom, iykyk. This one was probably the most in character Dave and great portrayal of what it would be like actually living within a universe made up of date game mechanics.

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The Other Hawke (Rated E)

If anyone's gone through the rest of my fic besides TMNT stuff, they've seen my SECOND largest fandom I've written for, which was Dragon Age. More specifically, I fixated on most peoples least favorite character on the whole series- Carver Hawke. Hahaha. I just really fixate on the oddest characters, huh?

This is a fic about what his life outside of his brother is like, and giving him a lot of depth that you don't get in the video game series. Also he is getting dicked down by Fenris, which is a fantastic pairing I didn't know I needed. It's hilarious, and romantic, and very tense.

Man. I gotta reread a lot of these. Thanks so much for the ask! Sorry if it got a little out of hand haha.

[kangaracha]

NEVERMORE; AN ANNOTATION chapter 5 (there's so many voices)

Read Nevermore | Masterlist | Nevermore Masterlist

---

Summary

Outside of District 9, Seungmin stands outside the bus and surveys their surroundings, contemplating what they should do next. He sees a city in the distance and a building just down the hill before Changbin and then Chan calls him back inside. Before he returns, he mentions to Changbin that he is worried about Chan, and Changbin agrees.

They agree as a group to continue down to the building nearby rather than towards the city, as Hyunjin is injured and they are tired and hungry. The youngest members lead the way, finding an abandoned warehouse-like building waiting for them. The centre of it is a large, circular room, where they find food and clothing, and a bank of computers which control the warehouse.

Chan looks after Hyunjin as best he can, and then turns to the desks and computers scattered around the room. He finds he can't read anything there, but picks up a strange key that feels warm to the touch. He wakes the main computer in the room and finds a map on it, with seven doors marked on it numbered one through eight. There is no number four, and all except one are marked as 'closed'.

Han convinces him to leave it alone for now, reasoning that they can't go anywhere except the city anyway. He wants to show Chan something that he has found instead; a music production program on another computer, filled with half-finished tracks. Han also says he has a song he wants to write, and so they sit down together to create it.

Canon Content

A short, transitional chapter, this one occurs entirely in the world of the District 9 music video - specifically, the ending, in which they are seen in a warehouse type of space with a strange portal-like device behind them. The bus, of course is also taken from the District 9 video - the world outside of District 9 is inspired by a short clip within that video and the world of the Scars music video, into which they will be tossed shortly.

Jeongin tossing through clothes from abandoned lockers in the warehouse is also taken from the District 9 video, though in the video they find the clothes on the bus. It felt important to mention that they were changing clothes from the white suits they were dressed in, as it was featured explicitly in the video, however to have it happen on the bus in the fic felt out of place, as they were only in the bus for a brief moment and it didn't make much sense to me for clothes to be found there.

This chapter is titled for the song Voices, which comes off the next album in the series, I Am Who. The lyrics of this song can be connected to the experience of the voice of the machine in their heads, and the decision they've made to break free of that control ('step out of them voices/break free from the voices in my head').

This album and the next, I Am You, don't contain a lot of songs relevant to the Nevermore universe, and so only appear for a few fleeting moments here between I Am Not and Cle 1: Miroh. Songs such as Mirror, Insomnia, and Question are also relevant to Stray Kids' experience at this point in the story, just as they were in real life, though nothing in particular has been drawn from them; rather, they are reinforcements to the particular characters and decisions being drawn in the prose.

Characters

Seungmin is introduced in this chapter, forging the path ahead while Chan worries about the boys left behind. He paints himself a strong character within the group, a potential leader who contemplates striking out on his own path right from the get-go but in the end always turns back to the older boys for guidance.

In this way, Seungmin becomes a very useful character to have at the forefront of the story - though he doesn't play any key role in the turn of the plot yet, he drives the group forwards towards their next discovery, and is quickly set up as someone who can be relied upon to do that over and over in the future. Where some boys are reluctant to move forward, Seungmin is unafraid and logical, a character that can easily be pushed towards the next plot point. He's useful here, and he will continue to be useful in the future, being also too proud to be beaten down easily.

Seungmin's POV also very quickly shows his relationship with Jeongin, who he very outright considers running away with and describes as a younger brother, even if not by blood. This is an important distinction going into the Miroh arc later. He also reinforces the idea that has previously been built about Chan being the leader that they all look up to, the one they are devoted to, and Changbin a protector, reliable and, in the eyes of the other boys, unwavering.

Plot

Again, this is a very quiet chapter; for the most part, Seungmin simply moves them forward, while Chan describes the extent of Hyunjin's injury and discovers the map. There are a few things to note, of course, such as:

Seungmin notes of the city seen on the horizon that 'there is something wrong with that city, he's sure of it - he just can't put his finger on why'. This is referring to the ruins on the outside of the city, which will be seen in greater detail in coming chapters.

While the building they enter is drawn from a music video, the room they find themselves in is entirely imagined from scratch, to give them a space in which to find their feet and reset. The portal seen in the video has been removed, replaced with a screen inspired the one I.N stands in front of in the Miroh video; the portal, instead, is the drawing inspiration for the 'doorways' listed on the map Chan finds - and the overarching idea of doorways/portals being the connection between different worlds.

This warehouse is implied to have been a watching/management place for District 9, up on the hill above; however, just like the city it has been abandoned, and the doorway that used to lead here, still marked on the map, has been closed. This may be revisted in the distant future, when we revisit the world of Injeon during the NoEasy/Oddinary era, but wasn't included here as it is worldbuilding largely irrelevant to the plot except for what it meant for the contents of the room.

This chapter contains the first instance of Chan noticing that someone seems to know him from a past he can't remember - namely, the machine when it discovered who he was.

The seven doorways on the map, deliberately numbered through to eight, represent one doorway to each world of the Cle - all closed except the one to Miroh, as Injeon has been abandoned and closed off as a cursed/unsafe place since the Gwoemul found a way into it. They are numbered to eight to correlate to the eight worlds.

One doorway missing is meant to be the doorway to Injeon, the world they are already in. It is probably an oversight to imply there is a doorway to Asadal, a world only accessible from Yellow Wood, but perhaps we can assume that was once a second door to Miroh, which would have been the most common destination when travelling in and out of Injeon.

[kritischetheologie]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

I was tagged by @badboy-george! thank you for the tag :)))

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

15 under my username, one anon. there's two things in the pipeline that I'm hoping to finish up by the end of 2023.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

148,722. I can't decide if that's more or less than I expected it to be; I think it feels like a lot for what is basically a year of work, not so much for two years of work. the average being under 10k / work also surprises me a little, since I feel like my longer things take up a lot more of my brainspace, so I think of myself as someone who primarily writes in the 15-25k space.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I've only published formula 1 rpf. I have some abandoned drafts of gossip girl fics, I thought about writing some rings of power stuff after That Season 1 Finale, I've thought about fucking around and writing succ fic, but I think the f1 fandom is such a big source of inspiration that I wouldn't want to write in a fandom where I didn't have that community built in.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

the numbering at bethlehem remains #1, as I suspect it always will-- mainstream fic, popular ship, published at a peak in the fandom size. I actually didn't realize that saltwater and gasoline had made its way up to #2 and holy shit i'm thrilled with that, because I think it's far and away the best thing I've ever written. like a story told by the fault lines and the soil is #3, sing myself a lullaby aka the urbp is #4 (tbh... I would be annoyed if something I worked that hard on DIDN'T make my top 5), and I make two grand an hour rounds it out (kind of a surprise, tbh!). I don't think there's much rhyme or reason to which of my fics end up in the top 5, but I'd say the numbering and like a story told are there on mainstream appeal, saltwater and gasoline and the urbp are both there solely on quality, and I make two grand an hour might suggest that actually, the fandom is just getting bigger, and if I published something right now it would rocket up the list, because I cannot for the life of me explain why it tops my other pwp's. is strollonso more beloved (or a/b/o more polarizing) than I think??

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I really try to. I haven't in like, months and months and months, and I feel incredibly guilty about it. when I do, it's because I want the people who left them to know how much they meant to me. when I don't, it's because I never know what the fuck to say. "so true, bestie, this shit DOES slap" feels conceited. "thanks for reading and commenting!" feels formulaic. the hardest comments to respond to are also my favorites, the ones that list all the best lines.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

tossup between there's no need to show me round, baby (I feel like I've been here before) and the price you pay for a loss of control, both of which are pretty deliberately angsty and also, lmao, were written and published in the same week. it was a rough year, what can I say. the happy ending that has the most angst is definitely the URBP; I've gotten a lot of questions and comments like "but I wish lewis and nico could still have had a baby," and I always have to be like... yeah... sometimes you don't get what you want from life... which, y'know, fanfiction is usually the space where we go when we want to be able to get everything that we want, so I totally understand it. but nico and lewis can't have a baby for the same reason charles doesn't win the title in saltwater and gasoline: because sometimes, what EYE want when I'm at the everything you want store, is for characters to not be able to get everything they want, and to have a happy ending anyway.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

if you ignore the fact that it's completely emotionally unsustainable and going to collapse any fucking second, everybody wants to rule the world. seb gets nico, he wins the title, they're going to win the constructors' next year... etc. primadonna girl, all he ever wanted was the world. otherwise, it's probably a tossup between the numbering at bethlehem and saltwater and gasoline, which are my two most typically romantic fics. I actually do believe that the URBP has one of the happiest endings, for exactly the reason I just said in my answer to 6. it's hard fucking won, and it's not perfect, and that makes it all the more beautiful to me. nico sending seb divorce flowers. "I know I should, but yours shouldn't be one of them." even just thinking about it makes me cry. just this once, rose, everybody lives.

(if you want "everybody lives," january 1994, for all that it's a work of fucked up dubcon forced breeding porn, does ultimately end with ayrton senna sitting out the season in which he died to have alain prost's baby instead, so...)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not to my face, at least.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

yes! generally it's a/b/o, often it involves some sorts of power dynamics, there's frequently gratuitous face slapping.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I've never written a crossover, though I sometimes think about blair waldorf ending up with seth cohen (as their actors did IRL). I think I would probably be more likely to write an f1 fic set in a different universe than a fic where people from another fandom were f1 drivers, but if I ever get around to actually watching the terror we're gonna see if I can avoid making fitzjames and crozier a pair of drivers (or: a driver and engineer? driver and team principal???)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

no and I was lowkey offended that when everyone's fics got stolen and posted to wattpad in spring 2022, they didn't bother to do mine. this is NOT an invitation to steal my fics. please don't.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have not. I've been asked, and so far I've always said no. I would probably feel comfortable with a close mutual (anyone close enough that we DM, basically) translating something into their native language, but I would want it to be someone I was close enough to that I could micromanage word choices. like hey, what word did you use for this and what are the options and what mood and connotations do they have and oh actually maybe that one would fit better?? I would be so annoying.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

only in the DMs.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

sebcedes. at the same time, or sequentially, or any given two thinking about the other, etc. or all of the above. the three of them have such an incredible energy that it's almost impossible for me to write a relationship between two of them without the third creeping in in some ways (the URBP is the closest I've gotten, and even there, nico and seb's platonic friendship is a pretty core element of the fic). I'm capable of shipping each of them with other people (especially seb, my beloved bicycle), but they're the dynamic that I always come back to.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have two proper WIPs with over 5k written each that I'm still deluding myself into thinking I'll finish someday. I'm starting to have my doubts about the ultimatum au, though it's silly enough and literally on tumblr so I kind of have no excuse.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I have pretty strong internal monologues. I've gotten a lot of positive comments about the way that I engage with questions of social hierarchy, especially in my a/b/o fics-- my fics are political, in a way that I'm proud of. I keep challenging myself to write different dynamics, different settings, etc., so I think I can't be accused of just playing the hits over again. If anything, I could stand to play the hits more, because people like what they like.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm deeply terrified that all my characters just sound like me. I really struggle with physicality and bodies, as well as description in general. I'm frequently dissatisfied with my plot and pacing.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

there's a scene in everybody wants to rule the world where seb and nico make fun of lewis's accent and it becomes extremely questionable whether they were speaking english all along or just slipped into it to do that bit and I still feel awful thinking about it. I tried to be more deliberate about it in the urbp-- to specify what they say in english and what they say in german, and when, and why. by contrast, generally everything seb and mick say to each other should just be assumed to be in german. I will throw in terms of endearment from other languages, maybe swear words, but generally my characters benefit from instant narrative translation magic whereby we experience their internal voice in english. this was particularly interesting to play with in like a story told by the fault lines and the soil, because I had charles's internal pov speak fluent english (translation magic at work) while his spoken english was clearly his second language. there are certain things that I did for nico's pov narration in the urbp to germanify it, such as using the calque "national hymn" instead of the actual english term "national anthem."

19. First fandom you wrote for?

this one! unless you count unpublished stuff, in which case, I think it might have been sherlock.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

saltwater and gasoline.

tagging @astronomical-light @elementalmoments @grideon @rosyjuly and @thelittlebirdthatkeptsomanywarm