#but one of my supervisors called me buddy in a dude way the other day so that was nice

[abejapeludx]

at my new job, half of my coworkers think im a cis man, and half think im a cis woman. i do not see this ending well. idk what will go wrong, but it will.

[softbiker]

Pairing: Steve x Reader, Bucky x Reader (not Stucky)

Word count: 3k

Warnings: maybe a couple curse words? I don’t remember. Lots of coffee

Summary: Steve is fond of a particular barista. Bucky has a favorite customer. Let’s see where this goes! 

A/N: Somewhat inspired by real life events, this is (hopefully) going to turn into a new series! No idea where I’m going with it or how often it will update, but let’s have fun and see where it goes! As always, let me know what you think and thanks for reading <3

It’s July - early morning and already hot - and the door squeaks loudly somewhere over her shoulder as she preps a fresh batch of coffee to brew. She doesn’t look up or turn around, intent on her task, but she calls a distracted “good morning”, along with her coworkers. The humid morning air has left a sticky fog on the windows and doors, on skin and clothes, and it follows them inside, in spite of the air conditioning. She’s already regretting the long-sleeved shirt she plucked from her laundry pile, though it was the only passable shirt she could find and still be in dress code.

“Hey, you got front?” Bea, her supervisor, pipes up over the headset. Her head bobs over the open door of her bar fridge, where she’s counting milk.

With a nod, she turns back around from the brewing machine, putting on her customer service smile as she sees-

“Oh, morning, Steve,” she laughs, her smile blooming genuine. “I barely heard you come in, sorry.”

“No worries,” Steve smiles. His eyes look tired, but she knows hers are as well - it’s 6:30 in the morning and they’re already into their work day. He ducks his head, leaning a hip against the front counter. “I’m quiet, I guess.”

“What can I get for you?” she asks, tapping away at the screen to open her till. “Just the americano with stevia and almond milk?”

Steve chuckles and blushes under the dark stubble on his cheeks, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand. It strains the seams of his plain white t-shirt, stretched too tight already across his broad shoulders.

“I’m predictable, huh?” his nose scrunches as he asks, and she drops her eyes back down to the screen in front of her, displaying his order as she rings it up.

“Nothing wrong with that,” she shrugs, pursing her lips in an effort to contain her smile. “Anything else for you?”

“Uh, yeah actually, can I get an iced coffee, too? With a little bit of cream?”

“Sure thing,” with a couple of swipes at the screen she’s got the order rung up. She pushes it through, prompts him to swipe his card, and glances down towards the bar, wondering where her coworkers have suddenly disappeared to.

“Well - I guess I’ll get those ready for you,” she quirks an eyebrow at him as she makes her way down towards the espresso machines, with Steve following along, separated by the counter between them. He watches, her head down, labeling a cup and pulling espresso shots, turning for a stevia packet.

“So,” he clears his throat. “How you been?”

“Oh, you know,” she shrugs. “I’m here - and it’s 6:30. And hot.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he laughs. “Tell me about it. I’m already sweating.”

“Same here!” Her face disappears as she bends down to dig in the fridge for a tetra of almond milk. “I mean, I really played myself today - wearing long sleeves. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“Wow, rookie mistake,” Steve shakes his head.

She slides the americano out at the end of the bar, after adding a cardboard sleeve to protect against the scalding heat of the water. Their eyes meet over the drink, his fingers just slightly brushing hers even as she spins away and grabs the cup for his iced coffee. Conversation lulls; he clears his throat, takes a small sip of the drink and enjoys the slight burn on the tip of his tongue. She’s fast and smooth, never quite looking at him but never turning completely away from him; he’s in the corner of her vision and she’s the center of his. The cream swirls downward into the iced coffee, softening the color and the taste - though Steve has never been a fan of cold coffees, but he knows how Sam takes it.

“Here you go,” she holds out the iced coffee with a polite smile, plucking a straw from the caddy next to her and extending it in her other hand.

“Thank you-” he trips over whether or not to say her name; he wants to say it, and it’s written right there on her apron, offered on the tip of his tongue. He’d like to taste it. But the leap of familiarity scares him, as it has the last two months he’s been coming in here, and he swallows down the letters. Settles for an answering smile.

“Guess I’ll see ya tomorrow?” he half-jokes, coffees in hand, backing towards the door one step at a time. He watches her head bob as she ducks down to grab a rag out of her sanitizing bucket; she wrings it out and wipes down the counter, sparing him a lifted eyebrow, a sly sideways glance.

“Maybe-” she smirks, swiping an already clean spot on the counter before dropping her rag back in the bucket. “I might be off tomorrow.”

“Might be?” Steve’s head quirks to one side. “You don’t know?”

“Well…I asked someone to trade shifts with me so I could have the weekend off…” she sighs and crosses her arms. “But I haven’t heard back from her, so it’s probably not happening.” Her wry smile is accompanied by a one-shouldered shrug. “It’s just as well, though. This place would probably fall apart without me.”

“Oh, definitely,” he chuckles. “So I guess, maybe I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Have a good one, Steve!” she waves as he ducks out the door, bell jingling overhead at his departure. It really is hot today - her cheeks feel warm. Her whole body does, actually; but the cafe is quiet and empty now, the sun just rising over the buildings outside, and she gets a sip of water from the cup she keeps stashed under the front register.

“So how’s your man today?” Bea jokes over the headset. Looking over, she can see Bea’s mirthful expression peeking around the corner from the back of house where she’d been washing whip canisters.

“Yeah, when are you and Steve gonna go out?” Ally’s voice joins in the teasing, innocently sarcastic in her trademark way.

“Come on, guys,” she huffs, glad that neither of them is out front on the floor, where she was unable to hide her smile. “Steve is just a customer. He’s just another nice regular, that’s all.”

“Uh huh. That’s why you giggle every time we bring him up?”

“I do not!”

“Well, you just keep telling yourself that,” Bea smirks, banging through the back of house door with an armload of milk. “But you should know that store is taking bets on when he’ll finally ask you out.”

She chooses not to answer, just rolls her eyes and heads out the front door to set up the patio umbrellas. It’s July, early morning and already hot, but at least there’s a breeze out here - enough to cool the blazing in her cheeks even as she wrestles the umbrellas open to shade the outdoor tables. Her mind drifts away, to Steve’s easy smile and Steve’s breathtaking eyes, and the way he always dropped a dollar or two in the tip jar. Not to mention, the stretch of his white tees across those ridiculous shoulders.

Well, anyway. He is a nice regular. That’s why she enjoys him coming in every day, that’s all.

**********

“She there today?” Sam smirks as he eagerly plunges the straw into his iced coffee, swirling the cream into its depths. He waggles his eyebrows at Steve’s flushed cheeks while he takes the first satisfying sip.

“Yes.” Steve clears his throat, keeping his eyes down on his own drink. They’re sitting in Steve’s office - well, Steve is sitting, safely behind his desk. Sam posts himself in the doorway, leaning against the frame with his feet crossed. He watches his friend’s flustered fluttering behind the desk - Steve shuffles papers, taps on the keyboard of his computer to open his email, moves his coffee to one side of the laptop and then the other.

“Well?” Sam prompts, gleefully swirling his iced coffee, listening to the ice rattle before taking another loud slurp. “You ask her out yet? Give her your number at least?”

Steve scowls up at his buddy over his laptop screen.

“Sam you don’t get it-” he huffs. “This girl…she’s - God, she’s so beautiful, Sam. You know how many guys must hit on her every day? In a town like this?” He shakes his head. “I’d just be another asshole to her; she’d file my number away with all the other guys she’s not gonna call.”

“Whatever, dude,” Sam rolls his eyes. “That’s just an excuse for you to not take a chance on it. You just gonna keep going in there early in the morning and wasting money on coffee you used to brew at home?”

Steve doesn’t dignify that particular dig with a response, instead choosing to take a large swig from his coffee - he had to admit, she made a damn good cup. Simple as it was. But he knew, as many excuses as he made, he was addicted to more than just the espresso; her sweet smile perked him up in the mornings the way caffeine just couldn’t quite cut it.

He’d been going into the cafe at the crack of dawn for at least a month now. Sam practically begged him once to go out for an iced coffee, an early morning at the end of May, and with a sigh he’d agreed, though he complained loudly about wasting money on expensive coffee shop brews when he preferred to make his own in the coffee pot sitting three feet away from his desk.

The bell dinged over the door, the sun already streaming through the windows at the early hour, summer flushing full and bright. Familiar coffee shop sounds and smells carried across the empty cafe as he strolled in, hands in his pockets, taking in the quaint tables and mismatched chairs, an overstuffed sofa invitingly empty in one corner. Cute. He shuffled towards the counter, not really looking, till he heard a voice welcoming him in and-

She turned around from the brewing machine behind her, smiling soft and brilliant, her eyes a 6 am combination of sleepy brightness, caffeine buzzing in her own veins already.

One hit. That’s all it took to get him hooked.

*********

Her shift couldn’t have ended soon enough. The bright sun and gorgeous summer weather had her itching under her apron, aching to get outdoors in spite of the heat. Every few minutes it seemed she turned to the register to check the time, or slipped her phone from her pocket. Never quite time, never quite close enough. Until-

“Okay, if you’ll just wipe down the bar, you’re good to go,” Nat sighs as she ties her apron, looping the strings around her waist and knotting it in the front. Nat usually takes afternoon and evening shifts, so they haven’t gotten to know each other well, but there’s something about the redhead that she both likes and fears.

With a little whoop of joy, she whirls around to her bucket and grabs the rag for the last time (today at least) and wipes away the splashes of syrup, coffee, and milk that have accumulated over the course of her shift. The counter is a little sticky, but a little elbow grease dissolves the tacky syrup puddle, and with a flourish she stows her carton of coconut milk in the fridge under the counter, tosses her rag back in the bucket, and flashes a peace sign to the other baristas on the floor.

“Alright, I’m out you guys!” she calls, already tugging her apron over her head. Her tote bag hangs on a hook in the back of house, and she rolls the apron up into it before stepping over to the computer to clock out.

“Whatcha doin’ this afternoon?” Bea is off now as well, having handed off the keys to Nat, and was tucking her own apron into her backpack, her Juul sticking out of one corner of her mouth.

“Mm. It’s such a beautiful day…” she sighs. “I think I’m going to go read at that new place I like, get a cold brew, maybe sit outside.”

“Leaving this coffee shop and going to another one?” Bea laughs, taking a hit off her vape, a little cloud puffing in front of her face. She’s not supposed to have it inside the building, definitely not supposed to use it inside at least, but the current manager hasn’t quite worked up the nerve to tell her to stop, so she carries on as she pleases.

“Gotta support local business.” She swings her tote bag up on her shoulder, regretting her habit of stuffing it so full that it’s uncomfortably heavy, and then she’s on her way out the door. “See ya later!”

Besides being a proud supporter of local businesses, she’s also totally addicted to the Garage - the other café and pub she frequents whenever she gets the chance. Their cold brew? Smooth and chocolatey. Their patio? Perfectly shaded and comfortable. Their vibe? Grunge-y without being dirty, hipster without being pretentious. She’d loved it from the first moment she stepped inside on her afternoon off, looking for an iced drink and a cozy spot that wasn’t her own home. What she found? A near-perfect coffee shop with amazing sweet potato fries.

“Oh, hey welcome in!”

Well. And there’s that, too.

“Hi, Bucky - how’s it going?” she smiles at the barista and bartender behind the counter, who is currently stocking the pastry case with an assortment of mouthwatering scones. His hair is swept up in its usual bun, and his mechanic’s shirt is tucked into a pair of black jeans, the short sleeves rolled over his biceps to reveal one flesh arm bearing a full sleeve of tattoos, and one gleaming polished prosthetic.

“Oh, it’s going,” he shrugs, a little bashful. He wills his eyes back down the the pastries at hand, though it’s hard with the way she smiles, hands in the back pockets of her shorts as she approaches the counter.

“Been busy today?” she asks, giving the menu a customary glance, though she’s too far gone on their cold brew to ever order anything else.

“Not too bad, no,” he shakes his head, sliding the glass panel behind the pastry case shut and tossing paper box from the bakery in the trash bin. “Little bit of a rush earlier around lunch, but nothing like what you guys get in the mornings.”

“Oof, for your sake I hope not,” she shudders. “The morning rush is wild, you’ve got no idea.”

“Oh, I’ve got some idea, I’ve seen that drive thru line,” he smirks, leaning his elbows on the counter. Unconsciously she takes a step closer, leaning against the other side of the wood, a mere couple of feet between them.

“I’m literally triggered by the words ‘drive thru’,” she says, with an exaggerated eye twitch that makes him laugh.

“Alright, alright, I won’t bring it up again, my bad,” he raises his hands in supplication, an almost prayer, watching her nose wrinkle and rearrange the pattern of the freckles there.

“Well, anyways, can I get a cold brew, please?” she sighs, looking at him under her lashes.

“You got it,” he nods, tapping the counter. “Perfect day for it, too.” They both glance out the wide front windows of the café, where the patio furniture is arranged under a well-shaded awning strung with criss-crossed globe lights. In the midsummer afternoon, it’s a perfect place to be lazy in public, to sip a drink and read, to pretend to be the sort of person who gets to do those things in the middle of the day.

“It is,” she sighs, looking wistfully at the patio.

“You can go on and get a seat,” he lowers his voice as a couple new customers shuffle into the café. “I’ll bring it out to you.”

“Oh, you sure?” She glances around, noticing that he seems to be the only staff member here. Their shop is laughably less busy than hers, able to survive on a single barista for any length of time during the day, but she still doesn’t want to make more work for him. “I don’t mind waiting.”

“Nah, it’s no problem,” he smiles, dimpling his scruffy cheeks. “I’ll have it out in a minute.”

She’s back out the door and at her favorite table; he can see her from his place behind the bar, with her feet tucked up on the sturdy outdoor ottoman, her bag stuffed under her chair and book already cracked open in her lap. She’s not looking at the page, though - the beautiful day seems to distract her, as she lifts her face into the breeze and stretches her legs out further across the ottoman, spreading out to catch even more of the sunlight.

Wanda hip checks him as she breezes through from the kitchen, having come in through the back door.

“Your girl here today?” she teases, raising one brow suggestively. Bucky scowls at her, embarrassed and flustered and a little guilty.

“She’s not my girl, Wanda,” he corrects her. “She’s just a customer.”

“Pretty regular customer,” Wanda shrugs.

“Doesn’t mean anything. We’ve got plenty of regulars.”

“No other regulars that you look at like that.”

He doesn’t respond. Turning his back on her, he takes a straw from the condiment bar and grabs the cup of cold brew he just poured, and stalks around the counter towards the door.

Wanda stands in the kitchen door, a bin full of dirty dishes under her arm, and watches as he crosses the patio, tucking one hair behind his ear and smiling at the sweet girl with the book in her lap. The girl smiles back, squinting in the bright summer sun, and laughs at something Bucky says, while Buck ducks his head and shoves his hands in his front pockets. He lingers, lingers far longer than required for delivering a single cup of cold brew.

Yeah, sure. She’s just a regular, alright.

[jrueships]

i know you posted it like 5 days ago but please go into detail about joel/brad i am intrigued

OKAY SO . It all started with 'bradley beal keeps trolling the sixers, SPECIFICALLY joel embiid' and embiid's response was just "Shut up" which honestly kingshit like wizards were getting swept why is bradley going insane asylum???? BUT after the games they...

SO ... what *I* read into it was rivals who banter and annoy each other incessantly but just enough to create the romantic tension of a begrudgingly respect. We all KNOW about Joel's kinda very cocky humor. Though he IS cognizant of his confidence, so he brags with a purpose (unlike pg who just does it for ego really). He wants to get in opponets' heads and make em mad. A true troll! But with beal it was different. Bradley fought hard against them even if they were outclassed and he didn't lose any hope, and I think joel can really respect that. He never gave into any old teasing technique and joel didn't really try any against him tbh! And I think that's because he knew he didn't have to because Brad is just a kinda laid back cheeky kinda guy now! Also bradley can take Joel's jokes and taunts really well instead of just getting mad and giving up. It seems like a ship that has very good back to forth banter where there isn't a clear aggravater for all the clashes. Sometimes beal is the little shit. Sometimes joel!!! It's an even matched battle of the wits and the comedy!!!

Though I think joel is definitely better at the new gen z humor while bradley is still kinda catching up. He makes joel cringe sometimes but joel can't help but continue being invested in his funny little antics!

Also um .. height difference lol . BUT really what drew me to it was their bickering dynamic. Both probably finding the other super annoying but can't help but be amused by the other's shenanigans!!! Joel could easily just. Push bradley over and smite him but he doesn't because bradley is just Too funny to banter with and doesn't back down!

ALSO also they both have similar styles on helping the rookies! Like they're both actually really supportive to them but also LOVE to pull at their strings and make them groan like embarrassed teenagers. It's a teasing kind of platonic love! Idk I'm weak for couples who'd make great 'parents' to the rookies. Joel properly calls his rookies his "little ones" and Brad calls his rookies "his kiddos"

BUT the main fic that is fueling this is my wip superhero au fic about them going against Ice Trae (trae with ice powers. I know. I get 5 damage everytime I write their superhero names.) And his (sidekick) supervillain partner Cool Collins (john Collins with .. wind powers. So he can like. Carry and aim the icicles trae makes. Shoot em out LMAO). The battle happens on Washington turf so beal, a B class hero with simple wizard powers (silly magic tricks), is there to stop him but to his surprise, The Process, Joel embiid whose powers basically increase the longer a fight goes on but restart when a fight is done, jumps 'to his aid' mainly because he doesn't believe Beal is strong enough to fend off the two villains LMAO. He's just there to rub in his strength to Beal's face. Banter ensues, they both kinda get in each other's ways. It's two dumb people vs two dumb people because trae and John are also very dumb. They have chemistry but they're just... really stupid. Like in one part trae needs to hydrate for more ice so john gets him a glass of water... from the lake. Trae spits it out and I like "bro wtf why did u give me salt water???? That just dehydrates u more??" And john genuinely is surprised at his negative reaction, "??? What do u mean it dehydrated u?? It's WATER??? that's literally the opposite of its??? Function???? Sorry I wanted your water to have some flavor in it bro! What are you???white??? Can't stand salt?????"

And meanwhile brad and Joel are just competing against each other by showing off their powers. Joel just collapses an innocent building to show off then brad rebuilds it. It's just a ton of dumb people being dumb with each other

But there's mandatory "one person saves the other but then they get saved by the other". Joel pushes beal out of the way and shields him from a collapsing giant icicle that just shatters all cool against his durable back. He kinda smirks down at Beal underneath him and goes "you're welcome, little man" and beal rolls his eyes and laughs. But then a blast of wind sends them tumbling too close off a cliff. Beal grabs hold of a ledge and catches the falling joel by creating a teleporting portal under him. Joel lands safely and Beal, while still scrambling for purchase on a cliff, grins at him all cheeky-like and replies "my pleasure, big man"

BUT YEAH... it's just a really good dynamic! I'm a sucker for good switching banter despite my hatred for writing dialogue 😭 but like even younger Joel and Brad are so good with each other. Younger Brad was a lot more snappy and moody so I think joel would have a lot of fun bothering him LMFAO. They cameo in my highschool theater tech markelle fultz x jazz piano player theater geek de'aaron fox.

Basically joel is on the tech crew as well, a senior/junior (I'm still deciding). But he's SUPPOSED to be supervising markelle and helping him with the lights and sound during a jazz concert but of COURSE he's too unbothered to and just spends the night playing nintendogs on the ds (he's just there for the mandatory community service hours) . When he finally notices that markelle is drifting off with the spotlight and keeps aiming it at Fox instead of Donovan during his drum solo, joel kind of gets up and is like "hey... I should stop this..."

But then he thinks and sits back down like "hrm... nah I'm too lazy lol. I still need to teach my dog how to sit." And just goes back to not helping.

So bradley, a senior/junior stage manager calls them on their shared radio. First fultz picks up the walkie talkie so brad is all nice to him and has a kinder tone like "heey fultz buddy<3 can you please put Joel on the radio please? Thank you dude, you're doing greaat <3!!" And as soon as Joel gets on the radio he just starts screaming at him KABDISJWBDA like "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOIN EMBIID?? yOU DUMB BITCH!!! GET OFF YOUR LAZY ASS AND REPOSITION THAT LIGHT!!!" And joel just replies "no." So then beal reveals the reason why joel is letting markelle get away with taking the spotlight off donovan's drum solo, which is "YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS THAT DONOVAN TOOK YOUR SPOT ON THE JAZZ 1 BAND BECAUSE /YOU/ GOT KiCKED OUT FOR PLAYING THE PORN SONG ON THE XYLOPHONE." which REALLY gets joel going because it's true lmao. They start arguing on the phone, joel defending his actions by saying "fultz is MY little. He can do whatever he wants!!" And brad replying "Shut the fuck up. Go be a supervisor and fix your shit!!"

Eventually they get so caught up in arguing with each other that they just forget about the whole situation altogether because they're THAT angry with each other.

Markelle eventually repositions the light when he comes to the gay epiphany that fox doesn't NEED a spotlight to shine because he'll always be beautiful no matter what or smthin so he shines it back on Donovan and everything resumes normally

buT yEAH! There's my essay that really doesn't explain why my mind works the way it does <3 but it's written anyways LMFAO I hoped it helped somewhat!!!! THANK you for asking I LOVE talking about my nonsense rarepairs even if they still end up being nonsense LMAO

[thestarsaroundyourscars]

Reddie 75 and 87 pleaseee :)

Thank you for the prompt. Here it is!

75. “We may be soulmates, but that does not mean you can just waltz in here like you own the place! I could have been naked or something!”

87. “What? Sorry–I didn’t hear you. I was too busy getting lost in your eyes. Ow! What? I was just trying to seduce you!”

Eddie pushed open the door to the cinema, welcoming the feeling of the cool air from the AC against his skin after walking all the way there in the hot summer air. The place was empty except for one person wiping the concession stand distractedly. That person looked up as soon as Eddie walked in, dropping the rag to adjust his glasses. 

“Eds my love!” Richie said, flashing him a huge grin.

“Hi Rich.” Eddie said. He had long ago given up on trying to get Richie to not to call him any of that, even if it still made his cheeks pink up every time. 

“How was the arcade?” Richie asked, his task abandoned, his attention now solely on Eddie. “I wish I could’ve gone with you guys.“ 

Bill and Eddie went to the arcade earlier that day. They had asked Richie to join them and he would’ve, if he didn’t have a shift at the cinema.

That was probably the only thing Richie didn’t like about his summer job ⎯missing plans with his friends. The free candy, the free tickets and the money, even if it wasn’t much, almost made up for it. 

Having Eddie visit him did too, he would often say. 

He did it all the time, visiting Richie. When the rest of the losers were busy or simply when he wanted to be out of the house, he would hang at the cinema and keep Richie company. Sometimes Richie would sneak him into movies if his supervisor wasn’t around or slip him a candy bar or a bucket of popcorn for free and if the place was really empty Richie would sometimes join him and they would watch a movie together and talked as loud as they liked. 

"It was good.” Eddie said, then grinned. “I beat Bill’s ass at street fighter and he had to pay for my ice cream.”

“That’s my Eds.” Richie said with a proud grin. Eddie’s cheeks flared up against his will. “You deserve a treat, pick anything you want.”

“You know what I want." 

Richie grinned, reaching for a package of Reese’s cups, Eddie’s favorite. He slid it over the counter with a wink. "I always know what you want Eds." 

Eddie rolled his eyes, unwrapping the candy and biting on it. He ignored Richie’s comment. "Slow day?" 

"More like fucking dead. You’re the third person to walk through those doors since I got here.” Richie groaned. In slow days like this, time seemed to pass even slower. “Are you here to see a movie?" 

Eddie shook his head, munching on his chocolate. "When Bill left I played a few more games but that got boring really fast so I thought I’d stop by.”

Richie offered Eddie a bright, smug smile. “Are you saying that I entertain you Eds?”

Eddie rolled his eyes, a smile threatening to break. “You amuse me at best.”

Richie grinned, pleased. “I’ll take that.” He said. “I’m really glad you came. I was one second away from bouncing off the walls.”

Eddie snorted, that didn’t come as a surprise. If he didn’t have anything to do, Richie tended to get antsy. “At what time do you get off?”

“Whenever you want baby.” Richie said with a leer. 

“Shut up.” Eddie said with an eye roll, taking a step away from the counter. “I’m leaving.”

“No! No Eds, come on.” Richie said, reaching for Eddie over the counter. “I don’t think I’ll make it if you leave. I’ll die of boredom.”

Eddie chuckled at his friend’s dramatics, not planning to leave at all. “Fine but only because I don’t have anything better to do.”

At that moment two girls walked in, tickets in hand and headed for the concession stand. Eddie recognized them from school, they were one or two years younger than them and they were obviously checking Richie out, giggling at his stupid jokes and whispering to each other when he had his back turned to them while filling up their popcorn bucket. Eddie tried not to glare but he only relaxed when the girls paid and left to go see their movie. 

When they disappeared behind the curtain, Richie was back with Eddie in an instant, leaning over the counter towards him and poking at the crease between Eddie’s eyebrows. “Don’t frown so much Eds, you’ll get wrinkles.”

Eddie schooled his features, blushing at being caught glaring at the girls, luckily for him Richie didn’t ask him what that was about. His arms were crossed over the counter and he was staring at Eddie intently, it made him fidget under his stare. “You⎯ uh. You didn’t tell me at what time your shift ends.” He asked, but Richie just stared at him with a funny look that Eddie couldn’t quite decipher. “Richie?”

“What? Sorry- I didn’t hear you.” Richie said, with a slight frown then he grinned and winked at Eddie. “I was too busy getting lost in your eyes.” Eddie reached over the register to swat at Richie’s head, while trying to will his cheeks to go back to their usual color. “Ow! What? I was just trying to seduce you!" 

Eddie rolled his eyes with a sigh. "You know Richie, if you put half the effort you put in trying to seduce me,” He said sarcastically and making air quotes with his fingers, “In flirting with girls like the ones who were just here instead, you might actually get a date.”

“Yeah, maybe except that I don’t want to date those girls, I want to date y⎯” Richie cut himself off but not fast enough. Eddie stared at him, eyes wide and mouth hanging open. “I mean⎯ uh. Hey, look, we’re almost out of⎯ uh. Gummy worms. I’ll be right back.” Richie rambled before disappearing into the backroom. 

Eddie stared at him and then at the door once it swung shut. His mind was going a mile a minute trying to make sense of what had just happened. There was no way Richie was about to say you as in I don’t want to date those girls I want to date you as in I want to date you Eddie. He was probably going to say your mom or something like that. Yeah, that made more sense. Except why would he stop himself or flee if that was all he was going to say?

“What the fuck?” Eddie muttered under his breath before ducking under the counter and following Richie, storming to the backroom. He needed to know how Richie planned to finish that sentence. 

He pushed the door open and it slammed against the wall, startling Richie who didn’t look like he had been looking for gummy worms but actually pacing around the small room, biting his nails. “Eds!” He said, voice coming out strangely high pitched. “Dude, we may be soulmates, but that does not mean you can just waltz in here like you own the place. I could have been naked or something.” He said with a laugh but it came out strained. 

Whatever Eddie had been planning to say died in his throat and he arched an eyebrow at Richie as the door swung shut behind him. “Soulmates? Richie what⎯ and why would you be naked in here? That makes no sense!”

Richie simply shrugged. “This backroom has seen a lot of things Eds and so have I, you don’t wanna know.”

Eddie opened his mouth to ask but thought better of it, shaking his head. “Whatever.” He said, he gave Richie a pointed look. “What was that back there?”

“What was what Eds?”

“Don’t play dumb with me Richie. What you said back there⎯” Richie gave him an innocent look and Eddie let out a frustrated groan. “You said you didn’t want to date those girls and then⎯ what were you going to say then?” 

Instead of answering Richie looked at the door, his only way out looking like he wanted to make a run for it. Eddie planted himself in front of the door, blocking him. Richie sighed, “Fuck.”

Eddie’s expression softened when he saw that Richie actually looked nervous and he approached him carefully, slowly. “Rich.”

“I was going to say I wanted to date you, not them.” Richie muttered under his breath but Eddie understood perfectly. He gulped, the hand that had been moving to touch Richie’s shoulder freezing in the space between them. “That’s why I flirt with you and not them. I mean I flirt with them a little I guess but not⎯ not like I do with you.”

“You⎯” Eddie frowned, genuinely confused. “Wait, you flirt with me? Like, for real?”

Richie let out a disbelieving laugh. “Pretty much since I met you Eddie, thanks for noticing.”

“But that was just you being you. Joking.”

“Yeah, no. I meant every word.” Richie said, hand hanging from his neck. 

“What the fuck?” Eddie muttered under his breath, distraught. How did he miss that?

Richie grimaced, stepping away from Eddie. “Listen you don’t⎯ we don’t have to talk about this we can just forget this happened and⎯”

“Shut up. I’m not⎯”

“Mad? You seem pretty mad.”

“I’m not mad at you, I’m mad at me for missing this.” He said, gesturing between them. 

“Okay?”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Eds I don’t know how I could be more obvious buddy. I just figured you didn’t feel the same way because you never said anything and⎯” His words were cut off by Eddie taking two long strides towards him and pulling him down by his neck, bringing their lips together. The angle was slightly off and he ended up pressing his mouth against Richie’s bottom lip and chin but he hoped it was enough to get the message across. Once Richie processed said message, he cradled Eddie’s face in his hands and angled his head right and then they were finally kissing, for real. They only broke apart when someone rang the bell on the concession stand, the sound traveling through the door to their ears. 

They stared at each other, blinking. “I⎯ I should get out there.” Richie said and Eddie nodded. “My shift ends in less than an hour though. Maybe⎯ if you want to wait, we can get dinner together? After?”

“Okay.” Eddie said and the bell chimed again. “Go, before they come here looking for us.”

“I’ll let you know when the coast is clear.” Richie said opening the door just a crack, blocking Eddie from view. Before slipping through, he turned to face Eddie one more time. “In case it wasn’t clear, I meant it was a date.”

Eddie’s face broke into a grin. “I know Rich.” He said. “And the answer is still yes.”

Tag list: @daddyphantomtbh @yes-dillman-yes   @richietoaster @beepbeeprichiellc @its-stranger-than-you-think   @lemonaayyee @pennys-pet-kitty @tinyarmedtrex   @richiefuckfacetozier @sam-i-am2468 @richardtoz  @s-s-georgie @reddie-for-anything @eddiefuckinkaspbrak @constantreaderfool @thundercatseddie @captainbartholomew @mirandonsky @proton-disaster-blaster @alargedepresso @purplepoisonedgem @pan-ini @reddie-to-cryy @reddieforlove @trashmouthnick @multi-fandom-wby @wheezyeds (if you want to be added, let me know!)

[draconida]

BKDK Fic Recs

I've a lot of bookmarks in my AO3 profile and I needed to make a list with all those wonderful stories! 

[This list will have other parts]

1- Mechanical Bull by warschach [Explicit]

Katsuki has a track record of bad choices, it's a condition, but Izuku might be the one choice that's right.

2- Dull by choimarie

“What? Never have seen a hot dude before?”

3- Caught Looking by EAter [Explicit]

He hadn’t meant to look, but once he did, he couldn’t stop. Izuku always knew Katsuki was attractive, in a sort of removed, passive way. He’s obnoxiously fit- with good posture and clear skin and those sharp, dangerous eyes.

Really, it’s a wonder Izuku hadn’t stopped to stare sooner.

4- Sour Silk by BrightEyesEren [Explicit]

Midoriya Izuku starts to receive random gifts at his door. Chaos ensues when he realises he has a sugar daddy.

5- Drinking Watermelon by warschach [Explicit]

For whatever reason, maybe divine fate, Izuku turned and looked over his shoulder and waved to them.

Katsuki’s heart full on stopped right then, and his fingers forgot their duty on the rails, and his body neglected its job to keep Katsuki balanced.

Izuku’s summer sweet smile fell into concern as Katsuki went airborne and cracked his skull on the porch.

Or Katsuki works as a camp counselor, and Izuku is a boy made of summer heat and sunlight.

6- Sucker Punch by warschach [Explicit]

But, whatever, Disney Boy over there was—

Prettying up real damn good that Katsuki got kind of distracted—totally understandable, like god those CGI pine eyes—and didn’t see the straight path he made for the metal trash bin in the center of the area until he was tipping forward and waist deep in discarded bottles, plates, balled up tissues sticky with he prayed was chocolate ice cream and nacho cheese.

Mina howled behind the gate. “Look, Katsuki returned to his home.”

(Or Katsuki works security at Six Flags and moonlights as a derby dude and continuously looks uncool around Izuku)

7- K-9 by warschach [Explicit]

Izuku takes in a stray on one rainy night, except it's not a dog, it's a dog shifter who goes by the name, Katsuki. After the initial wave of panic and embarrassment, Izuku thinks his new pet/roommate is pretty cute.

8- Misfire by deplore

Life's difficult when you're a teenager and your hormones make you lose control of your quirk. Alternately: A PG-13 version of "Sex Sent Me To The ER."

The pleasant sensation that comes from kissing Bakugou – the knowledge that it’s because he’s touching Bakugou so intimately that’s got Bakugou making such vulnerable noises – it tingles satisfyingly underneath his skin in a way that almost feels like when he activates One for All.

– and then there’s the sickening sound of something snapping just as Midoriya realizes, half a second too late, that the feeling is actually exactly like when he activates One for All.

9- Sugar Stardust by milkcandie

Between baking pretty macarons and sculpting wedding cakes, Katsuki slowly falls in love with a certain green-haired coworker who has effervescent stars in his eyes. Maybe working as a pastry chef in Nowhere, Japan isn't so bad after all, especially when he’s in such close proximity to a boy who manages to beautify every little thing in his presence.

A pâtisserie AU where Katsuki and Izuku are really the perfect ingredient for each other.

10- Gravity by warschach [Explicit & Omegaverse]

Izuku is back in his hometown and plenty hasn't changed much from the 8 years he was gone. Except, Katsuki Bakugou, the alpha king of their small town. He's hotter- because that's fair, right, God? -, stronger, a now-famous pro fighter, and noticeably nicer this round.

Not that he cares, pfft.

Ha, Izuku Midoriya caring about Katsuki Bakugou, thinking he's pretty cute and not half bad once you get past the asshole persona; though that gargantuan ego of his could take a dive off a very tall cliff.

(Fine, he cares.)

11- In Which Bakugou Finds His One Tru Luv by Erina

Welcome to the Explodo-kill agency! We can destroy your buildings, crash your cars, and help you solve one of the seven mysteries in life: who is Bakugou Katsuki's mysterious boyfriend?!

The Misadventures of Explodo-kill Agency It is a really fun series! Super recommended ❤

12- Cherish Me by Justaperson1718

“What?”

Izuku looked back down at his menu and flipped the page, a small smile on his face. “Nothing.”

Katsuki glared at Izuku from across the table. “If it was nothing then you wouldn’t be staring at me.”

“It’s just a little funny watching you try to look your best for our date when you always look great anyway,” Izuku explained. He wouldn’t look up from his menu while he spoke, but his words remained ingrained with confidence nevertheless. He considered what he was saying to be fact, and nothing else. “Even when you’re not trying in front of the cameras, it’s still hard to take my eyes off of you.”

13- Chewed Up by warschach [Explicit]

Zombie apocalypse, more than a third of the population currently dead or in the state of undead, and Katsuki still somehow managed to get his shit stolen by two chicks and Freckle boy.

Fuck this new generation.

14- Manage Me by Justaperson1718

Izuku caught himself moving forward, his head tilted somewhat to the side, and his eyes shot wide open. His gaze met Katsuki’s half-lidded eyes now that he was no longer in a dreamlike state, and seeing the way Katsuki was looking at him—waiting for him—made him realize Katsuki would’ve let him do it. He might have even wanted him to do it.

“You’re both doing fabulous!” the photographer called out to them, packing his camera into his bag and getting ready to leave. “I just got word that what we have now should be good, so we’ll stop there. Thank you for your time! Lock the door on your way out after you change.”

The pair stayed frozen in place, with Izuku’s arms around Katsuki’s neck and Katsuki’s hands resting on Izuku’s waist, while the photographer and his supervisor left.

“Kacchan,” Izuku cooed once they were gone. “Did you want to…?”

15- I'll Hold You In My Heart by InkspillsNotebook

"Someday, everything you own, everything you love... will be mine."

When a threat from the past comes to light, the budding romance between Prince Katsuki Bakugou and Prince Izuku Midoriya is put on hold as Katsuki struggles to save the love of his life, and Izuku puts up with being turned into a swan.

The Swan Princess (1994) AU

16- King Tide by warschach

Izuku meets a sea prince.

17- Play It Cool by warschach

Izuku accidentally becomes Katsuki's secret cuddle buddy.

(or that time Izuku and Katsuki snuggle on real pretenses then false ones, each finding a way to poorly miscommunicate their emotions cause what do these boys do aside of making carters in infrastructures and in each other, make the whole class of 1-A weep for them, and manage a romance to bring Ryan Gosling to the brink of tears.)

18- Boom, Badoom, Boom by warschach

Izuku's working the kissing booth at the school fair, it just so happens Katsuki has been crushing on him since the first grade.

“Did you—“ Izuku parted his mouth with no sound leaving it, “Did you pay?”

“Yea.”

“For a kiss?”

19- Bad Dog by Morpheel [Explicit, Omegaverse & Hybrids]

Katsuki Bakugou is a Wolf-Dog hybrid who has been returned more times than he can count.

His natural aggression and anger is excessive, even for an Alpha. Every time he's been purchased he's wound up blowing it one way or another. Yet when another chance comes around to prove his worth, he'll do whatever it takes to stay-

That is, until he runs into a minor roadbump. He isn't the only pet in the Asai household. When said pet is also an Omega, currently in the throes of his season, how the hell is he supposed to not blow it? (Literally).

20- Cafe Mocha by HG_Wells

Everyone has a timer on their wrist that appears when they turn thirteen, they can never remove it until the moment the timer reaches zero and you find your Soulmate. Izuku Midoriya works at a cafe in downtown Tokyo and he finds his Soulmate in the worst way possible.

21- Heartbreak Aftermath by HG_Wells [Explicit & Omegaverse]

After a harsh breakup with his ex-boyfriend, Todoroki Shouto, his friends decide to take him out to get his mind off things. A few drinks with a stranger turns into something more and he gets more than what he bargained for.

22- It's Better Than Drinking Alone by osakakitty [Explicit]

On the fourteenth of July, Izuku Midoriya's girlfriend called him to her place, and dumped him. And now, on the morning of the fifteenth of July, he woke up with a gruesome hangover and no one to celebrate the day with.

Or not.

Modern-day AU where Midoriya and Bakugo are strangers who meet in a bar, and then have wild and crazy sex later that night. The morning after, it's Midoriya's birthday, but he can't quite remember everything that happened. Bakugo is still willing to give him a present.

23- The Morning After 'The Morning After' by VRios

Izuku gets his keys back. Short epilogue to "It's Better Than Drinking Alone".

24- Fishy by warschach for DriftingGlass [Explicit]

Izuku’s convinced his hot co-worker/neighbor, Katsuki, is a mermaid-or merman- you gotta consider genders even with mythical creatures- and plans to prove it.

(or this is kinda like the show ‘Monster Quest’, except Izuku actually finds said monster, falls in love, and have sexy times.)

25- Piggyback by deanvspanties

I found this prompt and I wanted to do it for Bakugou's birthday but I'm a bit late:

Person 1 complaining about how long the walk to wherever is, and Person 2 constantly telling them to shut up and that they’re almost there. After Person 1 doesn’t stop complaining, Person 2 picks Person 1 up like a child and tells them that’s what they get for complaining like a child, and carries them all the way there.

“If you’re going to act like a fussy goddamned brat, I’m going to treat you like one.”

Really I just wanted to write adult Izuku getting a piggyback ride from Kacchan.

26- The last dragon-blood king by claimedbydaryl [Explicit & Omegaverse]

Katsuki Bakugou was the alpha heir to a forgotten throne, reigning lord and warden of the Fyre Isles, a famed warrior of vicious repute in the Western Seas, and he would be wed to Izuku Midoriya by the day’s end. 

27- Storge by Mellosweet [Omegaverse]

“Hold on,” Aizawa said, his voice harsh as if he couldn’t believe what he was just told “let me see if I heard it right. You went to Midoriya’s house with Eri and Kouta, because they wanted to see him, but Midoriya is in heat. Then he called the kids his ‘pups’, took them to his bedroom, and now Bakugou won’t let you near the house?” “Yes” Togata looked up to the building behind him “What should I do?” Aizawa sighs “I am not paid enough for this.”

28- Where's the Fire? by InfiniteTeal

Uraraka is on a mission, a mission to find out whether or not Bakugou and Midoriya are actually together. The evidence stacks up to prove that they are, even everyone else she brings with her sees it, but there's nothing she can do when the couple denies the evidence.

29- Curse the Way to Heaven by InfiniteTeal

Midoriya actually knows how to swear, and Bakugou gets turned on at the simplest moments.

30- Head Game Strong by InfiniteTeal [Explicit]

Some of the students from class 1-A decide to go out to dinner together for the evening. Midoriya hadn't planned to joined them, but it's no surprise that he's under the table fooling around with Bakugou. It sounded like a good idea at first, but Bakugou has a hard time keeping it together when Midoriya gives him a secret blowjob while everyone else is sitting around him.

31- Kacchan's Piercing by InfiniteTeal [Explicit]

Bakugou is bombarded by his classmates about his not-so-secret piercing. He finds out about what the other classmates did to Midoriya, and decides that he wants to feel Midoriya's tongue piercing for himself.

32- Memorized by SchrodingersCat_DoA [Explicit & Fem!Izuku]

Stupid. It was stupid.

Bakugou leaned down and grabbed her scarred wrist to pull her to her feet. He made his way to the dance floor, dragging Deku behind him. He could hear her sputtering behind him, trying to find words to say, but failing.

As he reached the edge of the dancing mass, he turned to face Deku and pulled her into him. Her hands met his chest and fisted in his shirt, pinching some skin, but he didn’t wince. “There, now you have someone to dance with.”

33- Blonde Haired Bunnies by Morpheel [Explicit, Omegaverse & Hybrids]

In an attempt to create a new genetic pattern in the Rabbit-Hybrid Gene, Izuku Midorya is paired with a very strange (and almost unorthodox) stud. The end goal is blonde haired, red eyed rabbits- though only one Alpha truly fits that bill.

Surely a wolf and a rabbit can't breed?

34- Never Skip Leg Day by SecretKiwi [Explicit]

Deku loves leg day, and so does Katsuki- just in a different way.

35- F.U. by warschach [Explicit]

Izuku smiled; Katsuki understood why people warned that the devil wore a Sunday hat and fine clothes because deception worked better if no one expected it.

Not anymore. He knew Izuku’s evil ways, and his ass might be a 20 on the hotness meter but Katsuki held grudges.

“Izuku,” he sneered; he too could be evil right back.

(Or Katsuki's a football player; Izuku's a cheerleader; they have a rivalry until it isn't one)

36- A Rare Exchange by aideyn [Explicit]

"Oi Deku! Heard you're looking for some "Rare Might"~?"

37- How To Fall In Love With Your Enemy by Insomnia_Productions

When you find the soul that is perfectly matched to your own, any mark that appears on their skin will appear on yours, as well. Everyone knows that.

Midoriya knows it... but, somehow, he's never imagined it happening to him.

Bakugou knows it, too... but he doesn't have time for stupid things like that.

And, although both of them know that Fate is never wrong... there have got to be exceptions. After all, this match cannot possibly be anything but a mistake. Right?

38- One Exception by GreyLiliy

If you’d have told Katsuki when he was in middle school that every day after his shift he’d come home to Deku waiting with a soft smile and dinner, he’d have laughed and set off an explosion in your face. But Deku is stubborn, Katsuki was weak, and now they share a home.

Routine is broken, however, when a Villain makes himself known by taking the lives of Pro Heroes with no trace of motive. With the entire Hero community on edge, Katsuki can only be grateful that Deku has given up on his childish Hero dreams and is safe at home instead of in the line of fire.

39- Swipe Right by Cellaira [Explicit]

Kirishima had another stupid idea, and Katsuki had nothing to lose. Then, he discovered a witty, freckled, attractive stranger, and he had everything to gain.

(Like some damn good sex.)

In other words, the Grindr AU no one asked for but everyone secretly needed.

40- Matchmakers by Trashreciptical

When Katsuki agreed to be Jirou's wingman at a school dance for his students he expected to be bored out of his mind, he expected to laugh at his students suffering trying to communicate with the opposite sex, and he expected being subjected to shitty pop music all night.

What he wasn't expecting was the gorgeous teacher from the other school with forests in his eyes and stars on his cheeks....fuck he has it bad.

In which Katsuki is a chemistry teacher that is one explosion away from being fired and Izuku is the adorable english teacher from a different school, who sweeps Katsuki off of his feet and he doesn't know what to do.

41- Between ink and thorns by soulstring

There are a lot of things people are amazed at when it comes to Bakugou Katsuki. The thing that stands out the most – especially since it comes from a man with so little patience and an explosive temperament – is his unsuspecting love for botany. In an ideal world he would look after his flower shop and get paid for it without having to deal with an annoying element attached to his work; namely bother, namely aggravation, namely humans.

And that day, the worst of them is about to enter his flower shop and his life.

42- Daisies bunches and heather branches by halcyonwhispers 

Izuku falls in love with the foul-mouthed tattoo artist next door.

43- Unknown Number: I Love You by Lillabelle

Opposites attract right? Well that's what Midoriya's friend, Uraraka, thinks. Her friend from another school talked about another guy, Bakugou Katsuki, and the two girls decided the two were perfect for each other. Now Midoriya is left with the number of a guy he didn't even know.

How bad could it be?

44- How IKEA Sells All Their Beds by thankyouforexisting

The next day, Kacchan turns on the cold water while Izuku is showering, resulting in a screaming match that the whole floor gets involved in, and soap bars starts flying everywhere, while Mineta throws his purple balls so that people can grab onto them and not slip on the wet floor, earning a “You’re not that bad, dude,” from Kirishima (It's a lie. Literally everybody hates him). Aizawa punishes them all by making them run laps for an hour the next morning.

Two days later, Izuku retaliates by lowering the thermostat until Kacchan can’t summon fire to burn his clothes, and Iida appears in the doorway holding a flag and shouting, “JUSTICE FOR CLOTHES! NO MORE DESTRUCTION OF FABRIC! WE MUST FIGHT THIS STRIKE AGAINST THE TEXTILE INDUSTRY, COMRADES!”

Kacchan rips the thermostat from the wall with his fire cannons and burns the flag, half of Izuku’s wardrobe, and his bed.//Deku and Kacchan are roommates, and everyone fears for their safety.

45- Yes, They're All Safe by teaandtumblr

Villains have entered UA grounds and are disposed of just as quickly, but that doesn't mean a headcount of the students doesn't need to be done. Toshinori would admit, he wasn't quite prepared for what he found in Bakugou Katsuki's room.

46- I’ll share this with you, so leave it behind by yabakuboi [Single Dad!Izuku]

For the sake of the story, All Might is never in need of a successor, and, when Izuku saves Katsuki from the sludge monster, encourages young Midoriya down a different path. Thus, Katsuki and Izuku part ways after junior high, as Katsuki enters U.A. and the Midoriyas move overseas. It’s later that Katsuki realizes that there’s something missing, that he drove that something away.

Years after, Katsuki finds him in the last place he looks, in the cereal aisle at the local grocery store of their childhood neighborhood.

47- Catharsis by dollcewrites [Explicit]

It's been six years since Izuku graduated.

It's been six years since he confessed to his childhood friend; his classmate and his inspiration.

It's been six years since he deleted Bakugou's number, asked his friends not to mention the name, spent every last effort of his heart turning off the TV and averting his eyes from the newspapers.

It's been six, long, long years since he gave up on Katsuki Bakugou ever loving him back.

48- Stopping All Stations by glamour_weeb [Explicit & Rape Fantasy]

Izuku begs Katsuki to roleplay as a pervert that feels him up on the train. Katsuki only agrees if Izuku wears a slutty school girl uniform. They both get a little bit too into it.

49- Go the Fuck to Sleep by glamour_weeb [Omegaverse]

Izuku can't sleep and Katsuki takes care of him aka Izuku is needy and Katsuki is whipped.

Takes place during the training camp.

50- Serpents by glamour_weeb [Explicit & Omegaverse]

Izuku goes into heat and leaves a trail of scent across Katsuki’s territory. When the Alpha catches his scent, he tracks Izuku down and mates with him.

51- Let's Get Closer Still by bionic_heehaw (nmhotel21) [Explicit, Fem!Izuku & Incest]

Izuku has a week to find out if her brother wants her the way she's desired him since middle school. After their parents come back from holiday, she probably won't have a chance like this again.

52- What’s up danger by The_Crafty_Cracker [Omegaverse]

Because apparently,The fic where Deku punches a bigoted entailed asshole Alpha in the face wasn’t an appropriate title.

Poor Katsuki has his handful with his mate nearly getting arrested, again!

53- Devil in Me by glamour_weeb [Explicit & Omegaverse]

Katsuki's usually the one getting into fights over Deku when they go to the club, but this time, his Omega's the one that starts a fight over him, but he doesn't stop there. Deku's determined to mark his territory.

54- You've Got Mail! by glamour_weeb [Explicit, Omegaverse & In process]

Izuku is a Quirkless Omega and Katsuki is an Alpha pro hero. Their paths might have never crossed if they hadn’t started using the anonymous mail service where Alphas and Omegas can buy and sell their clothes as heat/rut aids.

Izuku wonders if it's possible to fall in love with an Alpha's scent and Katsuki wonders if he'll ever meet the Omega that smells like his True Mate.

A very horny love story in three parts.

55- Pets take after their Owners by San121 [Explicit, Omegaverse & Hybrids]

Shouto and Eijirou are a loving couple, Shouto recently got a rabbit Pet and Eijirou wants his Katsuki to like his boyfriend's Pet. Katsuki does more than like.

56- Way more than a handful by Morpheel [Explicit, Hybrids & Trans!Izuku]

Izuku wasn’t quite sure what to expect in bringing a rescue to his home.

While most owners would pride themselves in adopting a mixed breed of dog, or perhaps a stray cat; Midoriya had completely bypassed the beginners circle and brought home a fiery wolfdog hybrid with a bad temper.

It... has up and downs.

57- Dii Consentes by Souzoshiyou [Explicit, Fem!Izuku, Torture, Gore and Blood & Slight TodoBakuDeku]

The two ran along the secret passage with Izuku running ahead, dragging Katsuki by the hand with giggles. The blonde looked at their joined hands before looking the heiress' back. God, he loves her so much. He'd do practically anything for her, even become her plaything if she wants. He had never met anyone that reflected and complemented him so much. He'll chase after her everywhere even to the pits of hell.

58- Wild Thing (You Make My Heart Sing) by Gezelligheid [Fem!Izuku]

A series of mostly unrelated one shots revolving around genderbent Izuku, mostly involving her relationship with our favorite hothead.

59- Earned It by Morpheel [Explicit & Omegaverse]

Because within the illumination of lantern light stood a brothel’s worth of Omegas, all in various states of disarray, giggling and washing themselves without a care in the world to the army in their path.

Bakugou’s eyes narrowed in suspicion. Bakugou Katsuki wasn't expecting any interruptions in his conquest of the Capital. Let alone for that interruption to backfire.

60- When the sunset shifts by ser_problematique [Explicit & Werewolves]

Katsuki has a problem; Izuku is there to help him through it. Smutty fantasy au with werewolf porn.

61- ¡NO CULPES AL ALCOHOL! by GABY_NEKO [Fem!Izuku]

"Oh my god, did I steal Kacchan's virginity?!"

62- Maid You Mine by glamour_weeb [Explicit, Omegaverse & Hybrids]

“Welcome to Yuuei, Master!” A squeaky voice greets Katsuki when he pushes through the door of the Omega maid cafe, the little bell on the inside jingling, announcing his arrival. “Oh, hi, Kacchan!”

“Deku,” Katsuki growls back, his own fluffy golden tail flicking behind him irritably.

A hybrid AU where wolf Katsuki begrudgingly puts up with his obnoxiously cheerful coworker, bunny Izuku, until the day Katsuki comes into work and goes into heat.

63- The Piano Knows Something I Don't Know by oyasumi_yue [Fem!Izuku]

‘Intrigued’ is an understatement for the Bakusquad as they notice Bakugo Katsuki, a guy who has a tongue that could rival Satan himself, is refusing to eat spicy food.

64- Do You Know What I'm Seeing? by oyasumi_yue [Fem!Izuku]

Katsuki Bakugo prides himself with a headstrong attitude, his only goal is to be the best Hero, 'distraction' is not part of his majorly curse-composed vocabulary. But then, it all wavered when that purple perverted bastard made a comment about Deku's prominent body features.

Alternative Title: When Did Deku Become So Hot?

65- Little Bad Girl by SchrodingersCat_DoA [Explicit & Fem!Izuku]

Bakugou tossed the All Might sleep pants back on the shelf but held onto the oversized t-shirt. He let it fall open and brought it to eye level to study it. It was two sizes too big for Deku – at least in the terms of length. It was a simple grey t-shirt and soft – it was also a men’s shirt. As he was studying the shirt, the tag caught his eye. Bakugou adjusted his grip and brought the shirt closer to his face. He grabbed the tag and sneered.

On it was written T.S. Of course that Half’n’Half bastard would write his initials in his clothing.

Bakugou’s smirk fell from his face as it finally clicked in his head that Deku had a shirt that belonged to Half’n’Half. His blonde eyebrows pulled into the center of his face until they met and could go no further. The smirk continued to fall until it was twisted into an ugly grimace. The t-shirt in his hands started to singe as his Quirk fired off.

This wouldn’t do. No, this would not do at all.

66- Reflections by Kreativekilljoy

Where hero Bakugou Katsuki keeps having impromptu encounters with officer Midoriya Izuku.

67- Changeling by Souzoshiyou [Fem!Izuku & Attempted Rape]

'He's not an angel, nor a demon. I guess I can call him a ghost... But I prefer to call him a soul in need.'

In one whole month, how did they affect each other? Did Izuku help Katsuki? Did Katsuki help Izuku? We'll never know, but one thing's for sure; they changed each other.

68- Izuku and the Stag by Sarcastic_Metaphor

Katsuki is a god, a patron of war and a conqueror of nations. Trying to court a puny, green-haired mortal shouldn’t be giving him as much trouble as it is.

Meanwhile, Izuku lives in the forest and studies magic. All he wants to do is continue his work, but he finds himself continuously running into a strange, angry boy in the woods.

69- Please Scent Me by fleurown [Omegaverse]

In which Deku needs a quick favor at a party and Katsuki can't deny such a cute face.

70- Mamma Is Here by KurageMonsta [Explicit, Omegaverse, Non-Con & Incest]

Midoriya Izuku really really loves his son.

71-  Thrill of the Hunt by DrProblematic [Explicit & Omegaverse]

It began the way it always did — Izuku running, and Katsuki chasing after him. Despite both knowing where it would inevitably lead, they persisted for the sake of the journey: for the thrill of the hunt, of being hunted.

72- Drabbles and drabbles by kacchansass [Incomplete]

A collection of writing prompts sent to me on my tumblr! Typically gonna be BakuDeku prompts, but other pairings may pop up as well. Not all will be canon compliant either!

73- I'm So Glad I Found My Mate Today by kittiegirl1616 [Explicit & Omegaverse]

Pro-Hero Ground Zero has captured a villain when he senses his mate is nearby.

74- Nesting - The Omega Superstore! by Swifty_Heart [Omegaverse]

Imagine a store that wall to wall full of the softest blankets, pillows, and gourmet food! A superstore where Omegas go for all their nesting needs!

75- His Reflection by CarCarWong545 [Omegaverse]

Forced into a life that doesn't feel like his own, what shall Izuku do when he meets a not too pleasant alpha?

76- Eternity by PeppermintLeo [Explicit & Omegaverse]

Izuku was Kacchan’s partner, in every sense of the word. He ruled right next to Kacchan’s side, an alpha and an omega, leading Kacchan’s tribe against all sorts of odds. As well as his romantic partner, steady and solid by his side but giving when emotions called for it.

Izuku has adapted to the ways of the barbarian tribe with the help of Katsuki Bakugou, the barbarian king. From the beginning, he knew their connection would be special, but he never expected the man to ask him to spend forever, and after, with him.

77- If you can't find the morning light, i'm here tonight by yabakuboi [Omegaverse]

“You’re still you.” Katsuki can’t look at him as he says it. “You’re still Deku, but you’re not useless. You got dealt a shit hand, but you didn’t give up. You’re strong as hell, and you always have been. I didn’t see it as a kid, but I do now.”

Katsuki swallows. There’s a sharp smell to the air, blossoming up from where Izuku sits across from him at the little breakfast table, and it smells like grief, but like relief. And when he meets Izuku’s teary eyes, he feels his heart thud heavily in his chest. Slowly, cautiously, he slides his hands across the table and takes Izuku’s into his own.

Katsuki was never sure what happened to his childhood friend, quirkless Izuku who had presented as an omega and was whisked away to a traditional matchmaking house. Katsuki never saw him again after that, and tried to convince himself it was for the best. Many lonely years pass before he finds Izuku in the last place he ever wanted to, in the middle of a battlefield with a child clutching to his shirt.

78- Katsuki and the Hare by GreyLiliy [Hybrids & In process]

While hiking in the forest, Katsuki finds a wild hybrid caught and injured in a hunting trap. He performs his due diligence to call for help, not expecting to see the hybrid again.

However, on future hiking trips in those same woods, he spots hints of green in his peripheral and before he knows it, Katsuki finds himself with a curious tagalong that becomes a part of his life in a way he could have never predicted.

79- Dogged Love by GreyLiliy [Hybrids]

While helping out his friend Uraraka with her work, Izuku notices the client’s pet locked in a kennel wearing a muzzle. Izuku’s chest ached with the desire to help and before he knew it, he’d gathered the money and bought the dog from the other man, becoming a pet owner for the first time in his life.

Katsuki, however, wonders how he went from having a bad owner to one that needed a master of his own to keep himself out of trouble.

As time goes by, though, Katsuki and Izuku find out they’re both exactly what the other has always needed.

80- A Burrow for You and I by GreyLiliy [Explicit & Hybrids]

Katsuki and Izuku grew up together as neighbors, a human and a hybrid that most would call the best of friends. But after an unexpected step forward in their relationship, Izuku backed away and put distance between them—too much distance.

When Izuku arrives back home after a year of absence, he makes sure Katsuki is the first to see the fruits of his labor.

81- Izuku's Home for Wayward Pets by glamour_weeb [Explicit, Omegaverse, Hybrids & In process]

Izuku works at the Bureau of Companion Protection as a rehabilitator for abused and abandoned Companions, animal-human hybrids. He’s seen his fair share of cruelty cases and even fostered a few Companions, but he’s never had a Companion of his own, until now. After rescuing Katsuki from a life in an illegal, underground Companion fighting ring, Izuku must take in the wolfdog that no one else can handle.

Eventually, Katsuki comes to love his new home, as well as his new Master.

82- Does your mother know? by setitoff

It's hard for anyone to impress katsuki bakugou, much less catch his eyes, really. so when izuku midoriya, their new english professor shows up, katsuki is more than a little interested.

83- My ex-man brought his new boyfriend by setitoff [In process]

izuku's desperate to get a date after being persuaded (forced, more like) to go for a family reunion back in his hometown, in which he will most definitely see his ex, todoroki shouto, with a date of his own.

in a last attempt to find someone, izuku asks for help and ends up getting bakugou katsuki.

84- Payphone by flowercafe [In process]

Izuku’s in trouble — like, SOS trouble. Lucky for him, he’s one phone call away from salvation. Hopefully his trembling fingers dial the right number, because it would really suck if he accidentally called a stranger right now.

Or

The “I was walking home alone in the middle of the night and someone started following me so I ran into this phone booth with a lock on the door to call for help, but my hands were shaking so badly I accidentally dialed the wrong number and I don’t even know who you are but please help me" au — ft. a Quirkless Izuku whose misdial connects him to the personal cell line of pro hero Ground Zero.

85- For whatever we lose by kindaopps [Dubious Consent]

He locks the pelt up in a chest, and keeps the key hanging from his neck.

The boy's face was devastated, but Katsuki found even that quite beautiful.

86- Plucking the Heartstrings by K1NGKYO

Izuku never expected to become attracted to a customer in the cafe, but sure enough, Katsuki 'Boom Boy' Bakugou catches his attention. As he pursues a friendship with Bakugou, Izuku discovers he is secretly a popular horror writer, but what's most surprising is Bakugou's musical prowess.

Music without words can say many things and Izuku discovers how.

87- In A Sky Of A Million Stars (Who Cares If One More Light Goes Out?) by Stringlish [Suicide Attempt, Depression, PTSD & In process]

He could never forgive himself.

It was his fault.

He’d planted the idea like a seed he’d never known would grow.

(Or: What if Izuku jumped?) (OR: The one where Izuku jumps and lives and Katsuki visits him every day and Class 1-A not-so-secretly finds it adorable that their designated angry pomeranian brings flowers to his comatose childhood friend.)

88- Printer Daddy by deanvspanties [Explicit]

Izuku knows the only way to fix a broken printer is to buy a new one, but printer repairman Bakugou is here to exceed all of his expectations.

And there's nothing hotter than a guy who knows his way around a printer.

89-  How to Train Your Shitty Omega by deanvspanties [Explicit]

Izuku will have Bakugou's knot. He's Izuku's alpha after all.

90- The Tale of an Extra by Anzul

In which Katsuki channels true holiday spirit by inviting himself to his former middle school classmate's party and then sitting in a corner glued to his phone. Psh, like his secret-not-so-secret boyfriend is having a better Christmas anyway.

(Someone please save his former classmate.)

91- You Ready For This? by sabasama

“You’re saying you wanna fuck?” “Oh my god, don’t say it like that!” “What? It’s the same thing.” “No, it’s not!” Izuku wailed; he couldn’t be alone on this subscription of thought.

92- warm hands by flowercafe

"Your hands are so soft," he blurts.

Katsuki gives his fingers a threatening squeeze. "What the hell, Deku? Are you sayin' there's a problem with having soft hands, hah?"

Izuku never thought that Bakugou Katsuki, of all people, would willingly give him a hand massage. But here they are, sitting knee to knee, with his fingers lying innocently in those explosive palms.

Or

a 5+1 featuring copious amounts of massaging, a dollop of mutual pining, many ridiculous competitions, Izuku’s achy joints, and one very tactile Katsuki.

93- After Hours by Morpheel [Explicit & Trans!Midoriya]

Who would have thought school locker rooms were a bad place to get it on at?

Midoriya and Bakugou decide to wind down together after training past hours within U.A. Little do they know they weren't the only ones with the idea of staying after class. This could get pretty messy, pretty fast, if Bakugo can't brush off the fact he had Midoriya pinned to the shower stall.

94- Eat Your Damn Dinner by glamour_weeb [Omegaverse]

"Katsuki's been with Deku long enough to know the signs of when his Omega is about to go into heat. Hell, he’s more in tune with Deku’s cycle than the fucking nerd is with his own body. No surprise there, Deku’s always been absolute shit at taking care of himself. That’s why Katsuki's going to take care of him, like always."

Katsuki Bakugou is not whipped. He just likes taking care of his Omega.

95- As Fate Would Have It by ScientificallySinful (VampireGaaraCheesepuffs) [Explicit & Omegaverse]

Katsuki Bakugo had plenty of reasons why he wasn't mated yet, not that he was going to explain why to just anyone. But now, Ground Zero was running out of time. If he didn't find someone soon, he'd lose his position as a Pro-Hero and he'd never get to be #1. So, when he finds out there's a male Omega recently arrested for prostitution that's headed to prison if he too doesn't get a mate…well it must be fate.

Izuku Midoriya doesn't know if he should laugh or cry when his childhood bully shows up in front of his jail cell asking him to be his mate. He also didn't know if it was good or bad that Kacchan didn't seem to recognize him, but fate hasn't been kind to him before so why should it start now?

96- since some liar brought the thunder, the land is now deserted by baby345 [Omegaverse]

"17 years ago 5 omegas was each taught the act of espionage, when they graduated they were given careful instructions to follow their mission and regroup when the time came." the old man revealed casually. "omegas were often sought after by outside agencies especially as little kids because they were so much easier to mold and teach. they were perfect for undercover missions simply because they had the talent of being able to flawlessly work a room, nobody ever suspected the little omega in the corner of being a assassin until they were standing over them with a blade in hand."

"two of the omegas who excelled brilliantly in their training were code named flicker and cottontail or as you know them: Izuku Bakugou and Denki Shinso." He revealed.

Katsuki and Hitoshi whole world is flipped upside down when their mates are accused of being sleeper agents and are missing, trusting nobody but each other and the clues left behind they have no choice but to wonder what's the truth and whats a lie.

97- You Wonderful Motherfuckers by BeyondPhantomhive [Explicit]

In which the Bakusquad unwittingly get Bakugou and Midoriya together through a series of pranks.

98- torn fur, blunt teeth by SageMasterofSass [Past Non-Con]

After eight months of being collared, Izuku is finally free. But a dark, stormy city is no place for a lonely shapeshifter on the run.

99- Get on my Level by Mikacrispy

Bakugou Katsuki is a Pro Hero whose boss demands him to take an intern. Midoriya Izuku is a UA student who needs an internship. When the two of them are put together, they learn about what it truly means to be a Hero and what it means to be in love.

100- Just Like The Comics by brichibi

If this were anything like the comics, Izuku Midoriya being quirkless would be the norm while heroes would be treated as a rarity. As it stands, everyone’s got a super power, except for Izuku, of course. No worries, though, because he’s over it (nope) and has moved on to bigger and better things (again, nope) like working at a tiny comic book shop and indulging in stories where being able to lift a bus with your bare hands was deemed impossible until proven otherwise.

Oh, and running into your heroic ex-boyfriend? Also unlikely. But Izuku’s life isn’t like a comic book (maybe?) and Katsuki Bakugou is standing right in front of him: still perfect, still handsome, and still putting his combat booted foot in his mouth.

[Or: AU where Izuku works at a comic book shop because that’s as close to a hero as he’s gonna get, and Katsuki plays the part of heroic ex-boyfriend who is good at everything except winning Izuku back... maybe]

[levyfiles]

27 for the end of year asks?

#27. Have you done anything that scared you?

Ooof Ok. A little backstory then. Warning: this is a long little personal irl tale and hopefully interesting enough to be worth sharing so I’ll put it under a cut.

Before I got my promotion in January, I had spent all of last year already doing the work for less of the pay because my manager trained me to do all the paperwork and accounting for her on Wednesday so she could focus on other stuff. I was fully trained to run the accounting on the full slot count every day but there were no shifts available for me to be supervisor because a guy (let’s call him R) who had worked there much longer than I had taken on more shifts earlier last year. I was patient and worked full time, I even covered for anyone who was sick, did my time until said guy moved on to another department. 

Suddenly the shifts opened up and unfortunately at the same time, another guy (we’ll call him B) who had the Saturday supervising shift took some time off because of an injury and of course, like I said in an earlier ask, a really shitty worker quit. I was, from the end of February and all of March and April, running the department from Thursday to Sunday with 3 brand new workers who I had to train at the same time as do the job I had to. It was hard, the hours were longer, and there were times I really felt so drained I thought I’d never get my regular life back. 

B quit permanently because he couldn’t do the more physical aspects of our work which involve hauling 1 tonne iron carts full of over 500 slot machine casettes full of money across the casino and then opening said casettes one by one to count and sort the cash. The job involves a lot of repetitive hand-intensive tasks and for all the math and stacks of cash and electrical sorters, the hardest part of the job is getting the money off the floor at hours between 2am - 4am or at earliest 6am. It takes a toll on people and the body. I’m lucky enough that I’ve always been nocturnal so the hours are me at my sharpest and strongest.

At some juncture in May, R who had gone to tables to be a dealer wanted to come back. The hours were shit and guests who play poker are too often assholes to the card dealers. I learned the news second hand from a guest service manager that my manager had already agreed to reschedule him to come back.immediately. I confronted R who had neither told me he was leaving to begin with and didn’t tell me he had plans to come back. He told me everything I heard was true and worse. I was terrified because a) what I had had to go through to train the new crew b) the large amount of time I’d spent waiting for this promotion. 

It hurt all the more because R happens to be one of my really good friends. I called my manager that morning to ask her about it. I’ll always think about that phone call and what it taught me about how people are in positions of authority even when they tell you ‘you can talk to me about anything’. Her first reaction was to act like she didn’t know what I was talking about and she flip-switched the moment I told her who told me about it. That I had asked R personally and he told me his return date, that he’d been guaranteed by higher management that he could come back and that everything would be the same; that his stint on the dealing tables was just a trial to see if he would like it given that the dealing department was short (for obvious reasons). She sighed and switched up her tack, suddenly it was “no one was supposed to know” and other crap. Finally I was able to work up the nerve to ask her, “After all we’ve been through, me and the new crew; am I going to lose my position so R can come back and have his old one?” She seemed surprised by the question and the entire conversation in general, but she guaranteed that there was a miscommunication; that R’s return would only impact the new girls. My position was safe. 

This bothered me. It bothered me because my manager, before news of R’s coming back had dropped, had started training one of these new girls (let’s call her S) to cover my position if I was ever sick or injured (very normal thing to do) so now there would be 3 people on the crew who could do the job I was doing. Before R wanted back in, I was relieved that maybe S would get a supervising shift so I wouldn’t be so overwhelmed. 

Now this is where it gets complicated. The schedule was all over the place. S was now fully trained to cover for anyone who didn’t show, got sick, or injured is great at her job; we all love her. She fits right in. and is always willing to cover shifts and has since become my movie-night buddy. A week after she was trained, my manager sends me an email saying that we’ve got the new crew cemented, she’s got the new schedule all worked out. She keeps me on Thursdays and Fridays, gives R Saturdays, and then S takes Sunday because, according to my manager “Everyone who’s trained to supervise and do the accounting needs to have a regular shift. It’s only fair.” 

So just a reminder, the whole of last year I was put on call, working under two adolescent dudes who I had to push myself to my physical limit to be as good as all while waiting and wondering if a shift would ever open up; if I’d ever be able to actually get paid for the job I was already doing for my manager on Wednesdays. That whole time it had never seemed to occur to her to give me one of R or B’s shifts, but now suddenly she has someone new on that’s not me, it’s all about being fair and delegating out shifts fairly. I was really hurt. It was that all my hard work this past two years would mean nothing and to speak up would mean I’d be ruining S’s chance, have her waiting as long as I did or maybe longer to earn a shift. Usual me would do nothing, just take what I had got and never really speak about how mad and hurt I was about being passed over for a year and only given a promotion when my manager had lost two of her staff. I was mad that a guy could leap between departments and still be guaranteed everything and It made me concerned that if I hadn’t called her that morning, would she have bothered to preserve my position. Would it have been a no communication, silent demotion where I check the schedule and everything’s back to what it was last year. It’s hard watching that happen, hard not to think when you’re the one mixed-race black girl in a small predominately white run casino that being treated like crap feels equated to something a little more deep-seated than just coincidence or circumstance. 

First I talked to S. I just asked her how she felt about the job, about the trial by fire she went through in her first months working with us and she had been hinting a lot lately about how she felt a little bit of resentment for R because with his return, she was worried her and I wouldn’t be as close. That was a whole other thing we would later need to work out. The conclusion we got to was she didn’t want a supervising shift because she was working part time in maintenance outdoors and she liked it that way. I on the other hand, only have the department we were in.

I made the decision not to be usual me. It was mid-June and I invited my manager out for breakfast after work one day and I sat with her over eggs at Denny’s and I told her how the past year had felt, how it had looked when she made the decision to cut my shifts in the fashion of fairness when I had waiting a year and some months since being trained to get a chance at a regular supervising shift, that when i finally did get the promotion, it was like being abandoned because it was only after R and B were gone. I was terrified the whole time I gave my little speech because I didn’t want to appear angry or overly emotional in any capacity because if she was doing this on purpose, my reaction could easily be taken as aggressive and then I would definitely lose it all. 

I was surprised. She apologised to me, said that the thought had never occurred to her that I had been waiting, that she wished I had said something before. Feels strange now. She could easily have been lying to me, but ultimately it doesn’t matter. Now R, S, and I work together and we have a lot of fun at work and we help one another. I still keep all my supervising shifts and R (who turns out is a part time streamer on Twitch) wanted more time off anyway so there’s been no bad blood at all. Weirdly enough, in August, we all went to R’s wedding and celebrated with him until they packed up the venue, and just yesterday, we had a dinner together with R and his wife, S, me and another one of our coworkers. We feel like family most days and that is worth the terror and the fear I had going into the job to start with and speaking up for myself. Sometimes shit like that works out and I don’t think I’m going to be too meek or afraid to take a leap like that where my job’s concerned anymore.

(bravo if you made it to the end of this weird little story

[nemossubmarine]

Warhammer 40k: Wrath & Glory RP #22

Hey, it’s the start of a new adventure, and with the leaving of Gorm and addition of Vivek the party’s average height has gone down like 30%. I wonder if that’s going to be at all relevant?

There’s about a day or so in between Gorm and Uffe leaving and anything interesting happening. Vivek and Saef spend it together. 

Vivek has decided to stay at Saef’s room, since he rather not take a stranger’s room and Gimlet lives between Gorm and Saef, so taking Gorm’s room won’t do either. 

Saef’s cool with this. 

They hang out and talk, Saef explains what has gone down at Dew Mountain (Vivek doesn’t explain at all about what has happened with him :P). 

Saef also mentions to Vivek that the Inquisitor has arranged him a teacher in all that psyker stuff. 

Vivek questions what might be the end goal of such an education. 

Saef shrugs and says he only wants to keep the Inquisitor happy for now. 

Vivek warns him that it’s plenty easy to get conscripted in a world such as this, so it might be relevant for Saef to ask about that before he gets drafted for something he doesn’t want to. 

Saef says ”thanks dad”, which flusters Vivek a bit. 

He tells him to get a better father figure. 

Saef shrugs and says that he somehow has managed to get quite a few dads, Gimlet, Vivek, his actual dad, who’s also on ship. 

Saef opens up to Vivek about how awkward the whole thing has been, having his family on board. 

He mostly tries to avoid them, because he’s pretty sure his family doesn’t want to see him. 

Vivek shrugs and says it might not be the case, but if this is what Saef is most comfortable with. 

Meanwhile, Gimlet stays inside his room and avoids Vivek the best he can.

But let’s cut to the actual happening-ons, Saef gets a text from Molly, where Molly asks him to get his friends and meet her at the teleporter. She has a favor to ask. Saef gathers Vivek and Gimlet and off they go. 

Molly explains that there’s an Imperial cargo ship adrift in space and it’s been calculated to hit Santa Maria within an hour. 

Santa Maria is planning on blowing it up, but Molly would like to take a peek at what the cargo is and whether it could be sold for cash-money. 

Namely she wants Saef and co to do it, and they have only about half an hour to do so before Santa Maria blows the ship up. 

So any ideas? 

Vivek suggests them hopping onto the ship and fixing the engine if it’s broken. 

Good idea, but there’s one problem. His name is Jimbo, he’s the new teleporter guy (RIP Paul, you are missed). He needs to be gotten out of the room so Molly can teleport our folks. 

Molly says all he knows about Jimbo is that he really, really likes space golf. 

Vivek asks if anyone knows anything about space golf a little too loud, and Jimbo (from the other side of the room) asks if someone mentioned space golf. 

Vivek grits his teeth for a bit, then turns on his smile and goes to talk with Jimbo. 

You see, Vivek is a space golf enthusiast but doesn’t actually know much about it, maybe Jimbo could teach him. 

Jimbo suggests they meet up for a coffee after his shift. Vivek agrees, and then tries to get Jimbo to show him his club right now, so he could talk golf better? 

Yeah it doesn’t work. So Vivek agrees that it’s a date. 

Jimbo gets quite flustered at that, he didn’t mean it as a date.

 Vivek pulls rank on Jimbo, saying that he’s a corporal of the Mechanicum army (technically still true?) and he doesn’t do or tolerate that kind of behavior (it wasn’t a date-date, it was we’ll meet there at this time and date-date), so maybe Jimbo could go and report to his supervisor about what he just did. Jimbo, defeated, does so. 

Vivek turns to the others and asks if he was flirting with the dude. 

The general consensus seems to be yes. 

Well, nevermind that, Molly starts working the teleporter and sends the trio in one by one (in order Vivek, Saef, Gimlet).

Our heroes teleport into a tight corridor of the ship. There’s a siren blaring and smell of blood in the air. 

Also, Saef recognizes the smell of tyranids. 

When he informs the others of this, Vivek says that his grandparents were killed by tyranids, to which Saef points out that his whole home planet was just decimated by tyranids. 

They pull out their weapons and start sneaking forward. 

There’s a window showing to the cargo room and Saef sees shadows moving inside. 

Upon letting everyone know, they duck so as to not let the people (or most likely xenos) inside know what’s up. 

There’s blood and servitor parts littering the room, and a broken down servo skull that Vivek checks out. 

It’s clear that our heroes can’t avoid the battle forever. 

Vivek asks what’s their usual battle plan. 

Saef says they usually just let Gorm go first, and then follow after him. 

Unfortunately there’s no Gorm around, so one of them has to go first. 

Vivek gets up, catches glimpse of the first genestealer (of two) and blasts off its lower left arm with a devastating blow. 

This is for my grandma, he says as he does it. It’s pretty cool, eyy. 

Saef gets up next and shoots the same genestealer, killing it. 

There’s a second genestealer still left. 

Gimlet shoots at it, and also manages to blast off its lower left arm, very cool-like. 

Unfortunately it doesn’t quite die and it charges through the new broken windows at the closest victim, which is Vivek.

It gets stuck in the window, but manages to attack Vivek quite severely (altho Skitarii don’t bleed, so who’s to say). 

Saef comes in to beat it up with his bludgeon. It’s quite shocking. 

Gimlet shoots at it over Vivek’s shoulder but the genestealer has not yet gone down.

 It attacks both Vivek and Saef with its next attack. Ouch. 

Vivek has noticed that there’s a pipe of some sort going above them, and he pulls off the vent of it with his magnetic abilities (dude’s one big magnet if need be). 

The pipe turns out to be a pipe for gasoline and it douses the genestealer. 

Saef manages to step out of the way in time to not get doused. 

Vivek then lights up a cigarette and drops his lighter into the gas, lighting the poor genestealer aflame (but it looks damn cinematic).

The genestealer rushes back out of the window and dies on the cargo bay floor. 

Combat’s over, yay! 

Gimlet goes to give Saef some first aid. 

Vivek wanders off to check the other stuff in the hallway, which turns out to be a skeleton of a small child with a small bunny plushie next to it. 

Vivek loots it and then goes to examine the cargo bay. 

Gimlet offers Vivek first aid as well, but Vivek says he’s fine. 

Both Gimlet and Saef can see this is not the case. 

Saef asks Vivek to accept some medical attention, ”for me buddy?” 

Vivek pulls Saef aside a bit, and notes that Gimlet’s the reason he currently wanders around without an arm and an eye, so he doesn’t exactly trust him to get anywhere near his wires. 

But fine, he’ll do what Saef asks, as long as Saef keeps an eye on Gimlet. 

Vivek asks Gimlet to take a look at the spot where the Genestealer’s hit has driven a piece of his armor into his side and Gimlet does so, without any fuss. 

Vivek thanks Gimlet. 

Then they turn their attention to the cargo. Vivek and Saef open some of the boxes of cargo in the room. 

All seem to contain guns that Saef recognizes being used by gangers on Dew Mtn. 

Well, there’s plenty of them, but is this what Molly was hoping, who knows. 

But first a more pressing matter, turning the ship back on. 

Our heroes make their way to the engine room where Vivek and Saef immediately show their ignorance on all things technical (Vivek offers to say some prayers). 

Gimlet points out that the engine isn’t broken, it’s just turned off and it’s easiest to turn that back on from the control panel, in the cockpit. 

So that’s where our heroes head. 

The doors to the cockpit are jammed shut but there’s holes from guns littering the door and one hole big enough for our heroes to get through. 

Inside they find several dead genestealers as well as a dead space marine, who’s body has been eaten from inside his power armor. 

Gimlet immediately recognizes the space marine’s armor and says it’s a Red Corsair, a type of Chaos Space Marine known for pirating. 

Vivek puts out his cigarette on the dude’s armor. 

Gimlet turns the engine on and everything's smooth sailing, except the gas light is on, for some reason hmm… 

Saef and Vivek go attempt to put the panel Vivek tore off back on, but it’s too high up so Gimlet comes to help, lifting Saef up to get the panel back on. 

That figured out they return back to the cockpit and notice that the ship was on autopilot, heading somewhere in Dew Mtn and it’s now asking if that should be continued. 

Saef calls Molly and let’s her know that the cargo is shitty cheap ganger guns, and also a chaos space marine. 

Molly is a bit surprised at that, it is an Imperial cargo ship after all. 

She leaves getting rid of them to Saef. 

So, can our heroes sell these totes illegal guns to someone? 

Saef says he knows a weapon sales’ person by the name of Sheila on Civitas A. 

She dealt guns to a lot of gangers, from similar crates. 

Unfortunately she is super-annoying, but it’s worth a shot to check if she’s still alive and in the business. 

Vivek takes the pilot’s seat (well co-pilot’s seat as the Red Corsair is on the pilot’s seat proper). 

Gimlet investigates the body of the Red Corsair more carefully. 

He finds the Corsair’s bolter and on it ascribed the name ”Nemeroth”, who Gimlet knows to be a Red Corsair warlord that supposedly died 120 years ago. 

Saef carries some of the bodies out of the cockpit to give them room to manage the ship. 

As he does so, he hears some kind of mechanical sound coming from underwater, or under gasoline in this case. 

He follows it and finds the servo skull that is attempting to make some kind of sound, but its speaker is broken. 

Saef brings the skull to Gimlet to look over. 

There is a radio on the ship that Vivek has turned on. 

Apparently Red Corsairs are really into metal. 

But the skull could be hooked up to the speakers as well. 

As Gimlet fiddles with the skull, he asks Vivek whether Uffe has a crush on him or not. 

Vivek seems quite taken aback by the question, asking on what observation Gimlet is basing this on, he has only ever seen Vivek and Uffe together twice, and it’s not like Gimlet has any particular great insight into what kind of person Uffe is like. 

Gimlet is quite persistent at the point. 

Vivek points out that Space Marine’s don’t do romance / sex anyway, so he must be mistaken. 

Saef chimes in about these books he’s read that say something quite different.

Vivek makes the point that those have been written by people who find Space Marines attractive, plenty of those around, Vivek may or may not belong in that category (just because he likes a man who could snap him in half with one hand…), don’t mean they are accurate to what happens in real life. 

As they are arguing the point, Gimlet hooks up the skull into the speakers and it starts blasting off a message about Elysium and Grand Inquisitor Fane. 

Vivek asks if this Fane person is a friend of Gimlet’s. 

Gimlet says an Inquisitor by the name of Fane did live, 120 years ago. 

So is this some kind of time travel thing?

 Saef goes to check out the weapons and comes to the conclusion they have been made maybe two months ago, max. 

So at least those aren’t from the past. 

There’s also the question of servitors, as far as Vivek can see, they’re not official Triplex Phall -variety, so someone’s making unofficial servitors, great. 

Gimlet is also worried since Grand Inquisitor isn’t a title in the Inquisition. 

Vivek suggests perhaps this Fane fellow liked to be called a Grand Inquisitor in bed (eyebrow waggle). 

Gimlet doesn’t really get what Vivek is saying so Vivek calls him a bit of a virgin. 

Gimlet leaves the cockpit. 

Saef stays with Vivek and teases him about Uffe a bit more, though Vivek can see that Saef is just ribbing him. 

He does admit that Uffe is kinda cute, Saef says he doesn’t really see it, but ”you do you”.

And that’s all for the first session of this adventure. Plenty of mysteries abound. Next time, some weapons selling and possibly something more.

[12setsofchopsticks]

White Day 2019

Alrightty folks, it’s that time of the year again for my favorite holiday, WHITE DAY. Yes, again this year I have worked hard. I have spent the past several months meticulously crafting relationships, exceeding expectations, and perfecting my winged eyeliner and TODAY is the day that it all pays off. I made heart-shaped cookies for Valentine’s day again this year and coupled them with a personalized, hand-o-made-o heart-shaped cards of about the same size. As is the tradition, I will log the events of the day in real time as they happen. I am absolutely buzzing because I have high expectations and a good feeling about them.

Speaking of expectations, here is the forecast for White Day 2019:

Low chance of gifts from the English teachers as Vancouver sensei tends to forget and EPS tends to not care, BUT I WOULDN’T MIND BEING PLEASANTLY SURPRISED.

Will this be the third year in a row that I don’t receive a gift from my friend Dekashita sensei? PROBABLY.

Big hype for the third year teachers since we’re all buddies.

As a general rule, I think it is safe to expect gifts from all the teachers who have their Valentine on display.

Feeling confident that I will get gifts from a few teachers, like sumo sensei and softball sensei, since they have been consistent the past two years. Let’s see if this trend keeps up.

Shimichan is a bit of a wildcard this year, and I feel like he could go either way. What will happen? No one knows!

I was thinking to myself yesterday, “Lolen, what if your expectations are too high? What if, god forbid, you don’t receive ANY gifts?” The thought gave me a chuckle. There is no way. I am Lolen, the Beloved. I am a goddamn gaijin goddess and gifts WILL BE bestowed upon me on this day.

Wednesday, March 13th, 2019 – THE DAY BEFORE WHITE DAY

1:45 pm –I was caught off-guard while eating my lunch when a teacher has come over to give me my first white day gift! How delightful, I think, as I try to thank the teacher with a mouthful of salad. This is not my cutest moment.

Thursday, March 14th, 2019 – WHITE DAY 2019

8:25 am – I have arrived at school at precisely the time I am expected to. 

What they see: a beautiful blonde waltzing in to the teacher’s room. My hair looks good, eyeliner is looking sharp and, oh, could it be? Yes…! Her outfit even matches her nails! 

What they don’t know: ya girl stayed up too late watching Netflix the night before so she’s running off 5 hours of sleep and literally ran to catch the bus this morning. She is beauty, she is grace, she is out of breath. 

8:27 am – I reach my desk and sit down. There are four additional gifts that weren’t here before. This brings the total so far to five, before the bell has even rung! I have confidence that this will be a bountiful harvest.

8:35 am – There is a shuffle as teachers begin to get up and go to their first period homeroom class. Within the chaos, I feel a tap on my back. I turn around and, heavens to Betsy, can it be?? I can hardly believe my eyes that it is actually Dekashita sensei giving me a bag of chocolate! The two year curse has been lifted and my soul can finally be at peace.

8:45 am – Sumo sensei has just come over and dropped a literal handful of chocolate on to my desk. I will award an A for intent, but I have to give a C for execution because come on, my dude, at least put them in a lil baggy or something. Regardless, choco is choco and I will accept your offering graciously.

9:01 am – I have just received two more gifts within a few moments from each other; one from the teacher who sits behind me and the other from softball sensei. So far my predictions have been accurate…will EPS and Vancouver sensei defy my expectations and come through with gifts?? It’s the question on everyone’s mind!

9:07 am – In an interesting turn of events, one of the female P.E. teachers has just given me a gift! This sets a precedent for the women here at school, I am now expecting chocolate tokens of friendship from everyone.

9:50 am – My lovely supervisor came over to give me a little baggie of white day treats! A+ execution from an A+ supervisor, 10/10.

10:32 am – The morning is swiftly passing by. Currently, I have eleven gifts but I haven’t received any more in some time now and I am wondering if this may be it for me this year. There are a few teachers that I have been lowkey watching all morning to see if they will make their move. Like a cat in the shadows, I wait.

10:39 am – JUST as I was about to abandon hope, I am approached by the cute married teacher (he’s cute, he’s married, alas) and handed a nicely boxed gift. Extra bonus points since he spoke to me in English. I didn’t even know he spoke English, today is full of surprises.

10:50 am – I am rereading my post from last year. Boy, what a wild time 2018 was! But, I am noticing that amount of gifts I am receiving and the time at which I am receiving them is REMARKABLY SIMILAR. At 10:35 am last year, I also had 12 gifts. Everything is going according to plan.

10:55 am – Bobsled sensei has just given me a gift! As an interesting note, he has opted to give cookies as opposed to a more traditional chocolate confection. On second thought, this really isn’t all that interesting.

11:04 am – One of the female English teachers just came over to give me a very cute heart-shaped cake sort of thing. I have decided that this will be the first item I eat when the time comes.

11:25 am – I have fourteen gifts now. I am wondering if, out of all the teachers, I have the most gifts. I know it *shouldn’t* be a competition but I am absolutely *treating* it like one in the deepest narcissistic pit of my heart. I think I will walk around the teacher’s room later and take some cheeky peeks at the other teachers’ desks.

11:40 am – Another female P.E. teacher just gave me a nice gift, complete with an English note of appreciation! I seem to have made some new friends in the P.E. department with my cookies this year. Exciting times!

11:45 am – Oh, these are exciting times, indeed! Just now, I have received a gift from Kocho sensei, also known as the principal. Based on his status as principal-sama, I expect that these chocolates must be of the highest kocho quality. This brings my total now to 16. At this point, I am projected to top my number from last year.

11:55 am – I have not seen EPS all day, despite him being here today. Should I call the police? Send out a search party? I’m worried that he is lost or dead. Actually, he is dead. Dead to me until he gives me white day chocolates.

12:30 pm – Another gift from another P.E. teacher! It’s quite a large box as well. I seem to be popular with the P.E. department this year, with about 60% of the teachers reciprocating chocos. My hard work is paying off and my ROI is looking great.

12:35 pm – It’s time for lunch but I’m afraid to leave my desk in case someone steals one of my precious chocos. I feel a strange attachment to them, like a dragon jealously guarding her hoard. But alas—I must go, for I am hungry. Is it strange to go out and buy lunch when I probably have over $100 worth of gourmet chocolate on my desk? I make a mental note of exactly how many chocolates there are; I will not tolerate thieves!

1:45 pm – I’m back from lunch. All seems in order. I also used this opportunity to check out some other desks. I am the clear winner in this battle royale.

2:30 pm – It’s been quiet for a while now. BUT ACTUALLY, as I was typing this, another teacher came over to deliver a gift! CONFIRMED: I am a psychic.

3:30 pm – I was just beginning to think that the gift-getting might be finished, but to my surprise I have received another! It’s getting exhausting trying to keep track of all these gifts. Interesting note: despite all NINETEEN of the gifts that I have received today, I have yet to receive one from any of the male English teachers. Just so we are clear, there are FOUR of them. This must be what the sharp knife of betrayal feels like.

4:10 pm – I couldn’t wait any longer and I ate the heart-shaped cake sort of thing. It was a delicious choice. I also made the executive decision to put all of my snacks in my desk since 1.) I was running out of space on my desk and 2.) At this point it just looks like I’m bragging (I am). Furthermore, as I mentioned above, I have a zero tolerance theft policy and these are my loss-prevention measures.

4:12 pm – I ran out of space in my designated “snack drawer” so I had to take advantage of the space in my lesser-used “lesson plans” drawer.

4:15 pm – O shit waddup, ya girl is officially at TWENTY GIFTS!! My boi Shimichan pulled through in the homestretch. If I can get my-age amount gifts does that mean that this will be my golden year?

4:17 pm – Time is precious and there are only about 45 minutes left in the day. The guy in the office must have felt the minutes squeezing by, because he just came up and gave me gift number 21. There is still time for you, EPS!!

5:01 pm  – Well, it’s time to call it a day and head home. Overall, I have to say I am very pleased with the way this year turned out. Many of my predictions turned out to be true (LOOKING AT YOU, EPS), with the notable exception of Dekashita sensei who actually pulled through this year. Now all that’s left to do is to enjoy my snacks...all TWENTY ONE OF THEM!

5:30 pm – Just got home. Can’t wait to see what my real white date has in store for me tonight <3 

[prorevenge]

Refuse to be a decent human? Lose your house.

Warning: Very long story.

It's 2011, my boyfriend and I decided to rent a house with our best friends - an engaged couple with two kids. I'm changing names here: I'm Kylie, my boyfriend is Jim, and our couple friends are Brad and Angelina. Jim, Brad, and myself are active duty military.

After over a month of searching we found a really cute house- 1850 sqft, nice yard, great neighbors, only $1350/m, hardwood except for 1 room, 7 minutes from our base. The landlord is in a different state but tells us she pays one of the neighbors to manage the keys for her. It's a military town and that's not uncommon. We all met up with him, toured the house, decided to sign the lease.

We moved in sometime in August. We liked the house, but there were crickets coming into one of the bedrooms through a crack in the window sill. The landlord didn't want to fix it and said to caulk it. It worked, no problem.

We noticed the carpet in the living room was a little dingy and asked her if she would mind paying someone to clean it since we moved in that way. We even made a note of it and took pictures when we moved in. She said no. I bought my own cleaner and the carpet lightened a few shades.

In October, we went to cut the heat on and it didn't work. So we realized the oil tank was empty. Part of the lease states when we move out we needed to leave a full tank of oil, which isn't really a problem as long as we start with a full tank and use all the oil in it. Call the landlord and ask her to have the oil company come fill the tank - which it's 2011 so it's going to cost $1200 to do. She says no. We told her fine, we wouldn't be leaving a full tank when the lease was over though. She got mad and said we had to because it was a clause in our lease. We had the oil company provide statements to say the last time it was filled was that prior January and it was empty when they came to fill our tank that month. We filled the tank, but the heat still didn't work. It's been 2 weeks and it's really getting cold, we asked the LL to get a repairman out to the house. Brad and Angelina have two small kids that need to stay warm. My landlord took another week to fix the heat, and the people that did it were... questionable. It worked for a month, but then quit. We called in our own repairmen to come handle it since the last ones creeped me out, and he noticed some major issues with the chimney that needed attention right away. Like it was unsafe to run the heat at all, the damned thing was about to collapse. We let her know, emailed scans of the paperwork from our nice Honeywell tech and two quotes from contractors to get the work done. (it's going to be $3000-3500ish) It's an emergency repair, at the point it's December and we are really cold. We were using space heaters. The kids have chest colds and Angelina is ready to fly into our landlord's state to handle her physically. I mailed all of that information to her (Angelina's bodily threats omitted) with a signature confirmation and a letter stating the issue.

A few days pass and nothing from our bitch LL. I got onto Google and read the landlord tenant act and local landlord court cases just to see if I had a leg to stand on. I also spoke to my JAG, who's brother happened to be a real estate lawyer, who was also friends with my next door neighbor (the keyholder dude, who surprise, never got paid to watch the house) and decided to come over for dinner with all of us at their place. He gave me some really good info. The next morning, I called our landlord and told her, "look, you get this repair done or I will condemn the house and not pay a dime of rent until it's done". She says she doesn't believe me. I overnighted a certified letter to her explaining the issue and requesting the repair be started within 5 business days since it was an emergency and I had already reported it a week prior. 5 days go by, nothing. At this point I'm ready to walk out on the lease but don't have quite enough legal issues to back that up so- Jim and I requested 20 days of vacation from the military. I drafted a letter to LL telling her she had 10 days to get the repair done or we would terminate the lease, and we would not be paying rent while the heat was in disrepair. I cited the previous letter and included her signature confirmation for it also. 4 days before we go on vacation, I overnighted and signature confirmationed the letter. Two days before we are set to go on vacation I called a city building inspector, set an appointment, he came and condemned the house - it took him less than 15 minutes to decide. Brad and Angelina took off to Angelina's mom's house and Jim and I headed out to spend a few weeks in WARM, SUNNY Florida with his Cuban family. (mmmm, the food). We prorated rent for every day the house was condemned. I called the building inspector every few days to see if the work was done. He also demanded that my landlord do a few minor electrical repairs. Several days have gone by... I spent half that month's rent on good food, liquor, and Disney world tickets. On the 6th day in Florida, the landlord calls me threatening eviction. I told her to please take me to court because I was ready to embarrass her. I cited the landlord tenant act, told her I was going to sue for travel costs to FL, hotel costs, and at that point she was already looking at $850 and it was just going to get more costly. (Longshot, but, I was mad). I also said we were prepared to just walk out if it wasn't done by the time the certified letter stated it should be, again, I wasn't kidding. I had already reserved a uhaul. Oh, and she would be reimbursing me for that $1100 in oil I hadn't been able to burn. She said fine and finally replaced the chimney two weeks after the place was condemned. My neighbor told me she had to borrow money from her family to get it done. Not my problem. She also told me I was a horrible person who was torturing her and her 5 year old who were victims of domestic violence. She also told me we were only slightly better than the last tenants, who she "thought were black by how terrible the house looked when they left". Okay, wow, a slum lord and a racist - I should play the lottery. I'm sorry for your situation but your husband has been a shit to you since you got together. How do I know? Turns out, one of my supervisors is friends with her old supervisor and he and other members of her chain of command had responsed to fights where her and her husband hit each other. Apparently the husband is a drunk too. They tried to get her to leave him but she is just as bad, she busted out his windshield one time and burned all his stuff another. Turns out she got a general administration discharge. She seemed so nice and sweet when we were getting ready to sign that lease. I still can't believe what a bucket of kuku for coco puffs she turned out to be.

Whatever, we came home to a house with functioning heat. Brad and Angelina decided not to move back in but that was all cool with Jim and me. We notarized an agreement between us and told them we totally understood and would take over the rent. Missed them after they left, though.

Later on, in March, a realtor knocked on my door and said he wanted to show the house to a couple. I said, you have the wrong place buddy, I'm renting this right now. He's like no, the owner wants a short sale hopefully by July. I explained I had no notice and was a little confused but it was okay. He was very uncomfortable and unhappy to have walked into a situation where a tenant didn't even know he was coming. I told him it was totally fine, and went on to divulge some details about his new client. He was pretty appalled. He leveled with me- its a cute house but really only worth $90k due to the market crash. It had last sold for $124k, according to zuilla. She's asking for 120k and on the verge of foreclosure. Seriously? I let the couple and realtor in the next day. Didn't worry about it after that. He came to take detailed pictures so he wouldn't have to bother me with flaky potential buyers. He was so nice, I let him help me find a new house to rent when my lease was up. We are still friends on Facebook.

Then, in July the realtor called me and asked if he could show the house to a client. Absolutely. I cleaned and made sure I looked nice for her visit....and when they got to my house I noticed the lady was black. And she wanted to rent. I said, ma'am, call me later today and don't tell anyone. She did! I told her what my LL said about how she couldn't believe her past tenants were white because they left the house trashed when they left. I said, "I don't think this is a good house for you, I know a great guy who is renting out his beach side condo for the next year while he goes out to Africa, why don't you call him?" I text his listing to her, she calls him, ends up renting his house.

None of that is really revenge. Before we moved out, Jim and I cleaned the house. We left the carpets sparkling clean (had professionals come in and do it), payed a gardener to come in and make the yard spiffy, patched up some small nail holes and even painted some window trim that was chipped when we moved in. we basically left it better than we found it, we had already repainted 3 bedrooms in flattering colors when we first moved in (that was approved by the LL no problem of course). We took pictures before and after we moved in. A month goes by, we are all settled in our new condo, and she didn't give us a dime back in freaking deposit. $2400 down the damned drain, plus the cost of little repairs we made out of pocket so we couldn't have to deal with her crazy ass.

I was angry. I began organizing to go to court. Then suddenly Jim is told he's deploying soon. the fuck. A week goes by- Also, I'm pregnant. Which we were casually "not trying but trying" to do. We were happy about that part, but I was puking every day twice a day and emotional. Then Angelina calls me and guess who is on Craigslist slinging her shit hole slum? My LL. I lost it. I got on the same forum her ad was on and posted about the house, every single problem we had, every phone call, every snotty email, how many weeks we went without heat, the crickets, LL's messed up relationship with her off and on again husband, the oil tank, and the racist comments. I never said "don't rent or buy", just shared my experience as a tenant. I didn't name any names but I did link her ad. Received 7 emails thanking me stating LL seemed really nice on the phone but they would be dodging that bullet.

The house foreclosed a few months later.

(source) (story by slumriverofbliss)

[fuck-customers]

Okay so I somewhat mentioned this in the comments of another post, so some parts of this might sound familiar to some people. One day I came into work at bullseye(i sold phones as a third party vendor basically, but I can still unlock stuff/ring people out/etc) and one of my coworkers warned me that a sketchy dude came in wanting to trade in a phone, and was mad that I wasn't in yet, as I was the only person working that day that could process it for him. A few hours later, he wound up coming in. I looked at his phone, punched in the model number, and it didn't come out. Surprise, it was some old shitty prepaid. So I told him, "I'm sorry, there's no way I can accept this phone. It doesn't come up in my system, and even if it did I suspect it wouldnt have any trade in value since its an older lower end model." Dude got PISSED. "what do you mean you can't accept it?? The sign RIGHT there says you take trade ins! I paid 100 dollars for it, so you should be able to give me 80 for it IN CASH, and you can resell it." The kicker is, even if it was a phone we could accept, he couldnt even get beyond the lock screen, and there wasn't an IMEI(basically like a universal serial number for all mobile devices) on the device, so I legit had no way to process it. He then demanded I over ride it which... There's nothing to override when I can't even get passed step one, which is taking the model # and IMEI. I couldn't even process it as a different device, since I wouldn't have a valid IMEI. He demanded to speak to a supervisor, threatening to Sue because our sign was misleading(despite it saying terms and conditions apply, because no shit) so I wound up calling both an LOD, and Asset Protection wound up tagging along too. They basically told him the same thing I did, that none of us can do anything, especially them because they aren't authorized to use our 3rd party system. Then he demanded to speak to MY supervisor since, again, I worked for a 3rd party separate from bullseye. I basically posted a very panicked "please, any leads call my store ASAP, I have a very upset guest *insert store phone number*" to our district group chat, since most stores only have 1 person per store. The lead from the store across town called, bless him, and I explained the situation to him as the "guest" was ranting and raving about how he was going to Sue our store, blah blah blah. He was there for AN HOUR, just not taking no for an answer. Took 4 fucking people to tell him that. At one point AP and LOD left to the back room to talk about the situation privately, discussing the possibility of calling the cops etc. and he fucking said "if this doesn't get resolved soon I'm going to have to grab my guns from the car and start shooting stuff" and his buddy, who was mostly silent up to that point, and who I assumed was by himself, said later he was going to hold me down so the other guy could beat the shit out of me, comments that seemed to go unnoticed by everyone else involved. Eventually one of the leads who I didn't like wound up ringing him up and giving him a 20$ discount on a cheap unlocked phone, which pissed me off #1 because rewarding shitty behaviour from someone who, IMO, should have been banned from the store, and 2 because I earn commission on phones, she doesn't. Anyway, dude leaves, and the next day, I'm covering the store on the other side of town, and he comes in to THAT store, all fucked up, neck brace, high on painkillers, the whole 9 yards since when he drove away from that store the day before, he got into a fucking car accident. He keeps insisting on getting a refund and still getting the discount, I tell him to go to the other store since that's where everything went down and the actual bullseye employees will know the full situation and be able to handle it. So he does. A few days later, as I'm waiting to clock on, my coworker, who I was there to switch out with, came to me on the phone with the supervisor from the other store, since that other guy was saying that I stole his phone(the one he tried trading in, which, BTW, was most likely stolen) he was gonna sue, etc. Same shit as last time. Except he wasnt at the right store where I supposedly did that. We wound up having AP at my main store talk to him, he insisted she check the tapes as "proof", which, of course, they show me HANDING the phone to him. He demands they let him view the tapes, which is against policy. He says because he can't view the tapes, hell be in 9 am sharp with his lawyer, which, of course, never happened. I relayed the while thing to that AP, since she wasn't the same one that was there when the first incident happened. Her eyes widened when I mentioned the threats, and once I got clocked on I got called into the HR office to file an incident report. The worst part? He didn't get banned. Didn't have cops called on him. Instead, they basically had me fill out paperwork so if he enters the building, they'd hide me in the cash office. This only applied to that store as well. If he came in while I was covering the other store, I was SOL. Sorry for this being so long. TL;DR guy tries to get money for stolen phone, makes both violent and legal threats when I tell him no, accuses me of stealing his phone a few days later

[sp4c3-0ddity]

If you’re wondering why I’m posting three fics in one day...it’s because they’re prompt fills. This one is for the prompt Wrong Number, courtesy of the Pidgance Positivity Discord. Enjoy <3

The phone was ringing.

Pidge sighed heavily, looking up from her physics textbook to the clock steadily ticking to nine pm, to the door that stayed devoutly closed, and finally to the phone that refused to quiet. She considered:  what if she just simply…didn’t answer? The library was less than five minutes from closing anyway, and this early in the semester no one spent the evenings here, except for a couple of oddball stragglers that wandered in and fell asleep in the afternoons.

Pidge gave up on the third ring.

“Hello?” she said, picking the phone up and putting it to her ear.

“Oh, thank God!” said a voice pitched high with panic. “Keith, buddy, I need your help!”

“Um, what?” Pidge said.

“Listen, you know that bar on the corner of Berry and Crystal? I’m kind of…stuck there, and I need a ride. I’d call Hunk, but—”

“Listen, dude,” Pidge interrupted before the caller’s tirade could go any further, “I have no idea who this Keith guy is, but I know it’s not me.”

The caller fell silent, then he said, “Oh. I’m…sorry to bother you. Have a good night.” He hung up.

Pidge closed the line, feeling both confused and curious. What was up with him? Then again, her curiosity was probably due to the monotony of working at the university library; not for the first time, she wished she still worked at the systems help desk. At least then she could have her computer out all shift long without feeling guilty.

Of course, her supervisor strongly ‘suggesting’ that she switch her work study appointment to the library after she snapped at an engineering student’s incompetence with his computer still weighed heavily on her mind. Which meant she was stuck at the library, because even that was better than the dining halls.

The phone rang again.

The clock read 8:58, which at least gave Pidge plausible deniability if she decided not to answer, but, well…

Pidge grabbed the phone and said, “Hello? Library.”

“So this is really embarrassing,” said the same caller as before, “but I saved Keith’s number wrong and, well, can you pick me up?”

“Wait, what?”

“I need a ride,” he said with a sigh. “If you want, I can make it up to you with coffee or something. Well, maybe not tonight, but—”

“How do I know you’re not luring me somewhere to murder me or something?” Pidge demanded.

He laughed. “See, I get why you would think so, but I’m getting desperate here, dude.”

Pidge sighed and looked once more at the clock. “I’m getting off work now,” she said. “You said you’re on Berry and Crystal?”

“Yup,” he said.

“Fine,” said Pidge, against her better judgment. She closed her textbook and stuffed it into her backpack. “I’ll…be there, I guess.”

“Great!” he said brightly, tone filled with relief. “But, uh, do you, by chance, know how to pick a lock?”

Lance saw no point in avoiding the odd passerby’s gaze, so he looked each one right in the eye with a smile plastered on his face. The smile said, Yes, I handcuffed myself to this lamppost on purpose, thank you for your concern.

He’d panicked earlier, when Nyma first drove off with his car after she convinced him to let her drive – awful idea; apparently he needed to get a background check done on every girl he dated – but now he fell into something like acceptance.

And irritation. He couldn’t help glaring at the last person that shot him a too-curious look, and even though he had someone – a perfect stranger, no less! – coming to pick him up, he resented the pedestrians for not calling the police.

Actually, maybe he should’ve called the police the first time someone other than Keith answered his call.

Lance leaned his forehead against the lamppost. This corner of Berry and Crystal was in the historic district of town, and the lamppost itself looked like something straight out of the Chronicles of Narnia. The metal felt cool against his face and soothed some of his anger despite the stiffness in his wrists. He tapped his foot, and his phone, still clutched in his hand, against the pole, impatient. Waiting, waiting, waiting…

The sound of a high-pitched motor approaching interrupted his thoughts, and Lance straightened. He tried to lean casually against the post, as if the person on the other end of his call hadn’t already heard him panic, but he almost slipped and gave it up. Time to pretend he and the lamppost were caught in a passionate embrace, then.

A motorized scooter pulled up to the curb beside him, and a short, slight figure dismounted and took off a helmet. Absurdly, the first thought that entered Lance’s head at the sight of them was soft.

“You’re the guy that might be luring me into a trap?” the person – a girl that looked a little younger than Lance – asked.

Lance flashed her his most winning smile. “That’s me!”

For some reason, she frowned at him, even though here he was, as much a damsel in distress as he claimed! But why the hell was she looking at him like that, in a way that made him squirm?

The girl – his soon-to-be hero – crossed her arms. “You don’t recognize me, do you?”

Lance raised an eyebrow at her. “Should I?”

She rolled her eyes and muttered, “Let’s just get this over with. What lock do you need me to pick?”

Despite his confusion, he rattled the handcuffs binding him to the lamppost. “So…you can help, right?”

She squinted at his wrists, then nodded. She returned to her moped and rifled through a backpack before approaching him again with a safety pin in hand. “Don’t move,” she warned him.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Lance quipped.

She grabbed one of his wrists, holding it in place and moving it at will to mess with the lock on the cuffs. He couldn’t quite see what she was doing, but there was something oddly mesmerizing about her frown of concentration. So he wondered, “You don’t want to know how I got handcuffed to a lamppost?” When she didn’t reply immediately, he tried again, “What if I got arrested and the cops who did it are in the bar getting a drink?”

“Cops don’t do that,” she replied. Then she smirked, and with a click the handcuffs opened.

Lance exhaled a sigh of relief, rubbing the red marks on his wrists. “Thanks,” he said. “That was really…nice of you.”

“Yeah,” she agreed. “Just don’t make it a habit, all right?” She pointed towards her moped. “Do you still need a ride?”

Lance eyed the scooter skeptically. Could it even hold both of them and what looked like an overstuffed backpack? Did he trust her not to murder them? Then again, if he’d been able to reach and convince Keith to rescue him, he would’ve been going home on the back of a motorcycle.

So maybe riding a scooter with a stranger driving was safe enough.

“Yes, please,” Lance said cheerfully. “I’ll make it up to you, uh…?” He stared at her expectantly, and when she just blinked at him in confusion, he rolled his eyes. “What’s your name?”

“Oh,” she said. “I’m…Pidge.”

“Lance,” he said, holding his hand out to her. “Also, uh, you say we’ve met?”

Pidge eyed his hand but accepted it, and they shook. “You came to the systems desk once last semester and I…lost my temper with you.” She dropped his hand quickly, eyes drifting to the ground. “I’m sorry about that.”

“Huh,” said Lance, shrugging. “I actually forgot that even happened.” Now that he thought about it, he did remember going to the help desk when he had trouble downloading a software, but not what happened there.

“Well, I’m not there anymore,” said Pidge. She took up her helmet again, before seeming to reconsider and passing it to him. “Where am I taking you?”

“Oh, the off-campus apartments,” Lance said. He watched Pidge mount her scooter, and after she raised an expectant eyebrow at him, he climbed up behind her.

She fired up the engine and took off down the street and through the historical district. They rode in silence – Lance thought they could’ve easily managed a conversation, as slowly as she drove and as little traffic as there was – and he considered his next step. Reporting his car stolen, probably; maybe coming clean about it to his parents. Oh, and making sure Keith and Hunk never found out, or they would never let him forget—

The scooter came to a screeching halt as Pidge broke hard at a red light. Lance frantically grabbed onto her waist so he wouldn’t fall, and Pidge said, “Sorry! I thought I could make it.”

“Please don’t kill me,” he said. “I’ve had a bad enough day without adding ‘death’ to it.”

“At least it would be an eventful end,” Pidge quipped.

A joke? Lance grinned.

“So how did you end up handcuffed to a lamppost?” she asked right as the light turned green. She urged the scooter forward.

Lance explained, “Well, I was on a date, and she asked if she could drive my car. Being the nice guy that I am, I said yes, of course. Then she started seducing me, handcuffed me, and left. In my car.”

Pidge snorted. “You don’t sound as embarrassed as you did on the phone.”

“Oh, trust me,” Lance said, conscious of the heat on his face despite the cool evening breeze they cut through as Pidge drove, “I’m very embarrassed. Humiliated, even. The only thing that would make this worse is if it was Keith that answered the phone. And, well,” he added, a little regretfully, “I’ll probably never see you again, so you won’t be able to hold this over my head.”

“Right,” Pidge said.

(He wasn’t sure if he imagined the disappointment in her voice.)

Lance directed her the rest of the way to his apartment complex, and once she parked outside, he dismounted and returned the helmet to her. “So…you still work at the systems help desk?” he wondered in what he hoped was a nonchalant voice.

“No,” Pidge admitted, offering him the slightest smile. “I got…transferred.”

“To where?”

“Library,” she said.

“Huh,” he said. “Maybe I should check that place out.”

Pidge leaned against the handlebars of her scooter. “You’re not much of a studier, are you?”

“I resent that accusation,” Lance said, crossing his arms.

She snorted and said, “You wouldn’t resent it if it wasn’t true.”

“Maybe,” he agreed.

“Anyway, you should probably report your car stolen,” said Pidge. “I wouldn’t want to have to rescue you again.”

“Maybe next time I’ll be the one rescuing you.” He winked at her.

Unfortunately, she only rolled her eyes. “In your dreams, Lance.” With that, she offered him a wave and drove away.

Lance watched her go until she was out of sight, then shook his head to clear it. He’d just had the worst date ever; did he really need to daydream about another girl so soon?

[cerastes]

Right, so, this friend of mine and I work together in projects related to both work and studies for years now. We are a solid team, we get shit done, and she’s one of the smartest, most responsible, and hardest working people I know. We both share the “Deadline Is God” mentality and we are both Utter Hardasses when it comes to getting stuff done, so we synergize well. We try to take our classes together and be in projects together since it’s easier for us that way.

So, for this one project, our supervisor told us we couldn’t be just the two of us, we had to be four. We didn’t know this, and everyone was already in groups of four by then. We were about to celebrate when this one dude and his girlfriend show up and ask us to be with them. This is met with Bad Faces from Yours Truly because I know those two very well. The dude used to be my friend, but I plant him squarely in “acquaintance” now, because he is very lazy and passive, and he mooches a god damn lot in projects. He just stands there doing fucking nothing. Unless you directly micromanage him and tell him “hey, do these things”, he just literally does nothing, nor does he show any initiative to do anything, and even when practically ordered to, he does a sloppy fucking job. Rank-SSS Nightmare of a person. His girlfriend is exactly 4% less passive and lazy than him, but still otherwise another useless sack of flesh and bones. 

Shit, whatever, we need four people, so we begrudgingly take them. This was about 3 months ago. They proceed to flawlessly live up to my expectations and do fucking nothing unless explicitly told to get off their lazy asses and do fucking something for a change. The dude, in particular, is someone I’ve been saddled with many times before, and he really, really exhausted my patience with his passivity and laziness (and one semester, outright excuses and lies -- “oh man I can’t work on this thing due in 3 hours, I am getting together with my other group for this other project”, every time). My friend and I did most of the project, and we just went at it as we usually did instead of considering the other two useless sacks “people”.

Fast forward to these last four weeks, and here’s where it gets Spicy: Regarding a specific patient we had seen, we had to make an essay, adhering to certain rules and authors. This was going to be individual, but our supervisor told us we could do it in pairs. So we did, me and this friend, and here’s where things got muddy: After this essay, we had to do a prim and proper medical file (full with DSM-IV cross checking and the whole nine yards) for the patient, the whole deal. My friend and I assumed that the medical file was also in pairs, rather than quartets, so we just went at it as per usual. Except, it was meant to be in quartets. Among the many other things we had to do, we spend the weekend making the full file, and we make it in time, awesome, cool. 

One hour before the deadline, Dude’s Girlfriend calls and says “hey, so, we gotta turn in this thing in like an hour, right?”. My friend and I assumed this “we” to mean “the class”, not “we, the quartet”, so we just said “yeah, it’s due in an hour”, and she’s like Ok Cool and then ollies out. You don’t exactly make a full medical file in an hour, so we are wondering how the fuck this person can be so irresponsible, but hey, we knew the answer to that one, so whatevs. We turn our stuff in earlier this week, we high five, and we move onto the next challenge.

A bit ago, just now, our supervisor talks to my friend and I on Facebook, and she’s like “uh guys hey so, can I ask why you two decided to do this four-man task just the two of you? And why did you leave the other two people out?”, to which we respond “nani the fuck you mean “leave out”, this was in pairs, right?” and she’s like “omae wa wrong, my dudes”.

“So it was in quartets?”  “Eyup”  “Oh. We didn’t know”  “And the other two didn’t tell you this at any point?”  “Nope, one of the just talked to us one hour before the deadline, they made no attempts at communication in any shape or form before then.” “...They lazy as fuck ain’t they” “EEEEEEYUP. We really had no intention to screw them over, we sincerely thought it was in pairs, so we just did it. At no point, in the entire week plus we had for this, did they talk to us at all, asking what their part was or if they could do something for this thing that was due in some days. We hate them and we would much rather do this by ourselves, just the two of us, but we wouldn’t just royally screw them over this maliciously intentionally.” “Well, It Can’t Be Helped!”

Supervisor fully understood and believed us, not only because she knows we are Hardasses About Deadlines And Work Ethic, but also because she knows those two fuckbags are lazy and useless. So she was like “yeah no prob you guys don’t even worry have fun, it was great btw”.

So basically, this jerkwad pair got put in the 70 Million Power Karma Buster and paid the price for being lazy, passive pieces of shit that leech off others. This possibly means there’s gonna be a fight next Tuesday, “possibly” because this dude is so damn passive that there’s a solid chance that he won’t even bring it up with me, but in case he does? Buddy, you aimed that blunderbuss at your own foot, it ain’t my fault that it is naught but a fine mist now. You had a LOT of time to call either of us and tell us “uh yeah we together” or even “hey, what’s my part, this is due soon, right?” which would’ve cleared up the misunderstanding immediately. But you didn’t! And I am glad you didn’t! Because I -- we! -- hate working with you two and two responsible people output much better work than two responsible people and two lazy nobodies! Thanks! You made this final part easier!

MORAL OF THE STORY: If you are an overly passive person that doesn’t take even the most basic forms of initiative, please keep that attitude up, because then life will bite your ass and then the rest of us people that ain’t shitty don’t have to put up with you, we don’t even have to think about you.

[justsomebucky]

The Friendly Wager (Part 2)

Summary: AU. Reader and Bucky Barnes are neighbors and best friends. After yet another bad date, reader comes home to find Bucky with his typical weekend target. They decide to make a wager about dating, but is there more on the line than reader cares to admit?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 2,613

Warnings: language, fluff, sarcasm, complete and utter denial, social drinking

A/N: This is my submission for the lovely Kait’s ( @bionic-buckyb) 5k AU Challenge. Congrats on the followers, friend! My prompt was “Can you please come over so I don’t feel so alone?”

Part 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7

Wanda sighed at you as you both stood in line for coffee the following Monday. You’d just given her the rundown of your date (or lack thereof), and she wasn’t exactly thrilled to hear it.

“I can’t believe you didn’t like Alex! He’s got a great job, he’s handsome, and-“

“He’s a total prick,” you supplied, rolling your eyes. “Wanda, just because someone looks good on paper, it doesn’t make them a good match for me.”

You’d seen it before, soooo many times. How many guys had you met over the years that promoted themselves as caring, kind, deep-thinking, family-oriented, etcetera?

“Then let’s find you a real match. Use one of those dating app thingies.”

Wanda was so far removed from dating, having been happily married to her husband Vis now for two years (after three years of dating) that she didn’t even know any of the dating app names.

“I tried all the big name apps,” you admitted, shuffling forward as the line shortened. “It’s a world of unwelcome dick pics and unsolicited sexual compliments. OH! And do you know what the best part is? It’s when you aren’t interested and politely turn them down. They almost always throw back the old, ‘Well you’re just an ugly bitch anyways’ line.”

Wanda visibly cringed. “O-kay. So…how about those singles’ events that happen around the city? Speed dating, bar crawls, even trivia nights! There’s lots of events you can try.”

“Well, I have to wait and see when my date with the jerk that Bucky’s going to pick will be, before I can try for a real date,” you reasoned.

“You two are idiots. I can’t believe you agreed to this stupid wager. You could be out looking for Mr. Right instead of spending time with Mr. Bad Influence and his chosen stallion. You’re going to lose, you know. You’re tolerance for assholes is at an all-time low.”

“Why do you think I’ve never liked Bucky?” you joked, turning to order coffee for you both. “He’s their leader!”

When you were done paying, you turned to back to her. She was eyeing you silently. Her expression unnerved you, like she was trying to get inside your head and read your thoughts or something.

“What?”

“Why haven’t you ever liked Bucky? You guys are best friends, after all. Don’t they always say that the best relationships begin with a solid friendship?” An annoying little smile formed on her mouth.

You snorted sarcastically. “It’s called friend zone for a reason, sweetie. He’s got such a harem, you don’t even know. I could never trust a man like that in a relationship. No, we’re definitely better as best friends. God, we need to get you out of that penthouse more often, don’t we? You’ve been trapped in a wealthy bubble with Vis too long, and have completely lost touch with reality.”

“I’m not the one who’s lost it,” Wanda retorted. “Are you going to tell Natasha about your wager?”

Blech…Natasha.

The thought of your best friend seeing Natasha all the time made your stomach turn. It wasn’t that you didn’t like Natasha, you really did, but she was one of those women who were just perfect. She was a little too perfect. “Not yet. I don’t want him to get any advantage.”

“What advantage could that possibly give Bucky?”

Your mind reeled, trying to bullshit your way through an answer. “She might voluntarily go to him for a date, and then what incentive would he have to carry out his end of the deal? You’ve been to his restaurant, Wan! The food is so damn good! I’m going to win, and I’m going to eat so well for an entire week that your face will be green with envy.”

Wanda hummed at you. “Why didn’t you tell her about his interest in her, back when she said she thought he was cute?”

You shrugged. “He was seeing two different women at the time, and she deserves better than that. Anyone deserves better.”

She gave you another pointed look, but thankfully didn’t say anything else.

What you were truly worried about, though you’d never admit it to anyone, ever, was that Natasha was Bucky’s future wife. She was literally perfect for him, not just perfect in general. You could see it clear as day that they were absolutely, undoubtedly made for each other. They’d get married, move away, and you’d never see your best friend again.

It was totally selfish, and utterly unlike you, but you just weren’t ready to lose him.

Your eyes flitted back and forth between your nearly-ready coffee and your coworker. If she didn’t push the issue any further, you sure as hell weren’t going to volunteer anymore of your feelings on the matter.

She didn’t need to know the details. Once you found your own future husband, you could send Bucky and Nat on their merry way, and be content with seeing him once, maybe twice a year.

The way Wanda was silently smirking at you was making you uncomfortable.  

“Come on,” you muttered, grabbing your coffee with a quick thank you to the barista. You turned to head back to the elevators, to the stacks of papers waiting for you in your lab. “We’ve got work to do.”

---

It was hours later, and you still couldn’t get the conversation with Wanda out of your mind.

Were you purposefully sabotaging your best friend’s sure thing relationship for your own selfish needs? How terrible of a person did that make you? Natasha was a nice girl, and you certainly loved your best friend enough to want him to be happy.

Natasha would obviously make him happy.

They deserved a chance, at least. You decided then and there, no matter how this all turned out, you were still going to let Natasha know that Bucky was interested. It was the right thing to do.

You were just finishing up your last notations when your phone buzzed next to your laptop. With a quick tap, you leaned over to read the message. The illustrious Bucky was summoning you.

Already found the perfect guy for you, Y/N! How’s it coming with trying to find me my own Rey?

Your eyes narrowed at the screen. How did he work that fast?

Actually, now that you thought about it, it made perfect sense. Bucky, as a woman-using douche himself, probably had a whole gaggle of douchebag friends to choose from. You sighed as you reached for your phone.

Haven’t found the right victim yet. Let me know when Romeo and I can meet.

You waited for a reply, and smirked at the screen when you got one.

You got it. His name isn’t Romeo, though, it’s Peter Quill. He’s a buddy of mine from my gym. He flies a rescue chopper for the Coast Guard. Who knows, you might like him, since you’re in love with all those Star Wars pilots.

Does he have dark, curly hair, and look like Poe Dameron?

No, but he’s not a half bad-looking dude. I still don’t think you’ll last an entire date with the guy, though.

You snickered. Fine, send him my number and let’s get this terrible date rolling.

Will do. Don’t forget your half of the wager. ;)

You’re stomach lurched a little. How could you possibly forget?

Heaving another sigh, you locked the screen and shoved your phone in your pocket, then shut off the desk lamp. You had stayed after hours again, having volunteered for the third time that week to do some internal testing on the latest gadget, as you were the only one without a family to go home to.

Maybe that would change. Maybe this Peter guy would turn out to only be a douche on the surface, and have a heart of gold deep down. After all, devoting your life to rescuing people wasn’t something to take lightly. This might actually work out in your favor.

This could be your chance to stay quiet the next time your supervisor asks for volunteers to complete projects after hours. You could stay quiet knowing that you had plans, or someone to go home to for the first time in your adult life.

You wondered if Bucky would be willing to cook for two when you win the bet with the help of your new pilot boyfriend. The thought made you giddy.

With your bag on your shoulder, you closed your lab door quietly behind you and turned to leave. The halls were practically empty except for a few from the janitorial staff, and the only other lonely soul who worked on your floor and stayed late regularly.

“Goodnight,” you called out to your coworker, Rosie, as you passed her cube to get to the elevators.

“Goodnight, Y/N,” she said softly. “Have a good one, see you tomorrow!”

“See you tomorrow.”

Poor thing. Rosie was such a good egg, and you wished she could find someone, too. She was painfully shy, though, and a self-admitted hermit. In fact, you can’t remember the last time you heard her discuss having a date-

You stopped short, nearly dropping your bag, then backed up a few paces.

She looked up at you in confusion.

“Hey, Rosie…what would you say if I told you I knew a guy who I think would be a good match for you?”

It was hard to keep a straight face, but there was chicken parm and homemade tiramisu on the line here. A little bit of guilt crept into your brain as your conscience tried to stop you, but you figured this might be a good experience for Rosie. Maybe she would be willing to give it a try.

Then again, it could stop her from dating for the rest of her life if Bucky really mucked things up.

Much to your relief, Rosie’s face brightened considerably. “Really? Who?”

You forced a smile to your face.

---

The next day, you met with Bucky at a pub after work for Happy Hour to go over your findings.

The two of you were sitting side-by-side at the bar, comparing pictures. It was pretty empty for a Ladies’ Night, which you were thankful for. You didn’t really want Bucky’s wandering eye to leave you here alone. While it hadn’t happened yet, you knew it was only a matter of time before he ditched you while you were out together.

“Rosie, huh?” Bucky’s blue eyes studied her picture carefully on your phone, before he chuckled and lifted his gaze to meet yours. “She’s not plain in the least. I’m starting to think you don’t know that many women, or at least how to compare what they look like to the word plain. This is Rey all over again.”

“She might not be plain, but she’s quiet and not flirtatious at all. And if you hurt her I will have to hurt you.” You grabbed your phone out of his hands. “She’s a nice person.”

“When’s my date?”

“This Friday night.”

Bucky nodded. “Good, because once I finish my shift at the restaurant Friday, I’m on vacation for that entire next week. I’ll knock this date out, win the wager, and have lots of time to prep for a real date on the following Friday night.”

He meant a ‘real’ date with Natasha, that smug sonofa…

“You mean, you’ll have time to cook for me that whole week after, then, don’t you?” you asked in a sweet voice.

“Ha! You won’t last, no freaking way. Rosie and I, on the other hand, are a good date waiting to happen.”

“Whatever.” You sighed through your nose in exasperation, taking a sip of your own cocktail. This man just never quit with the overconfidence, did he? “You have to pick her up in a fancy car or something, though. I told her you had money.”

“So you lied, then?” Bucky shook his head at you. “Should I be hurt? I’ve never needed a lie to sell myself as a good date, Y/N.”

“No, it’s not a lie, though,” you protest, brows furrowing as you looked over at him. “You’re a freaking sous-chef in a five star Manhattan restaurant.  You’ve got money. You just choose to Fred Mertz it.”

Bucky made a face. “You’re lucky I know what that means, or I would think you were calling me old and cranky.”

That was true.

Sometimes Bucky would come over on Saturday mornings, whining that he was bored or hungover from his wild night before. He would try to get you to go with him for coffee, or breakfast, or get out and do anything, and sometimes you would.

But mostly, you were unwilling to move from your couch, or dress in something other than pajamas, or change the channel from your regularly scheduled viewing of reruns of ‘I Love Lucy,’ so he’d give up arguing with you over it, and just sit and watch with you. But his protests couldn’t fool anyone; you knew Bucky loved the show now, too.

“And I don’t penny-pinch and hoard money for no reason,” he continued defensively. “Some of us like having a savings account. Some of us want to purchase a grown-up place someday.”

You stuck your tongue out at him. He knew your paycheck was about one-fourth of his, and that in order to keep your beautiful Brooklyn apartment, you mostly lived paycheck-to-paycheck.

“Like I said, she’s a nice person. Just don’t, like, embarrass her or me or something.”

“Why’d you find me someone who was too nice to be used, then? Isn’t that the whole purpose of the date? To use someone so that we can prove a point one way or another? She’s your friend that you’re subjecting to the bet.” He reached in his pocket for his own phone. “I can’t imagine that I’ll be seeing her again, anyways, if she’s that nice. She’ll get her hopes up when she sees me, though, so I’ll try to let her down gently, for you.”

“So modest,” you muttered, tearing his phone out of his hands to see the picture he’d pulled up.

“That is one Mr. Peter Quill,” Bucky said, taking a sip from his beer. You knew he was watching your face for your reaction.

To your surprise, the man in the photo didn’t outwardly look like your regular Alex McDouchnozzle type. Peter was handsome, but in a boyish, dorky kind of way. You didn’t see a trace of smugness in his expression, but that was not always something they showed outright. You figured that around only half of them that did that, including Bucky. “What’s his douche level, in your opinion?”

“Well…” Bucky thought about it for a moment, taking another swig of beer before setting the bottle down on the bar top. “Peter’s a…complicated man. He thinks he’s a space pilot, even gave himself the code name Starlord to use on flights, though I’m pretty sure the Coast Guard frowns on that in serious situations.”

You bit back a laugh. “You’re serious with him, then? This Peter guy is my date?”

“Yep, and no way do you last a whole date with him.”

“Watch me.” You smiled down at Peter’s bearded face. “This couldn’t possibly be so bad. Maybe I can pretend his delusions are real to get through the date. Or, maybe he’s not as bad as you’re saying, and you’re just trying to throw me off my dating game so that I lose patience and leave the guy sitting there after appetizers? Either way, I’ll be fine.”

Bucky let out an almost evil laugh, putting a hand on your shoulder. “Remember those words when this Friday rolls around.”

Part  3 

PERMA TAGS (closed): @sprinkleofhappinessuniverse @blackcoffeeandgreenteaforme @alurea-actually @smkunz613 @marvel-fanfiction @bluebrrn @simplyme8308 @cleanslates @ailynalonso15 @jaydenval @imnoaingeal @miss-jessi29 @kittthekat @crownie-sr @indominusregina @wonder-carolina @littlenerdgirl16 @amrita31199 @tatortot2701 @melissalovesmusicyay @kcsavege4134 @lilasiannerd @hardcorehippos @buckyswinterchildren @hello-sweetie-get-the-salt @cosmic-avenger @mirkwood---princess @neverbeforgotten @minervaem @givemethatgold @assbutt-son-of-a-bitch @decemberftw @widowvinter @nolaimagines @notsoprettykitty @dracsgirl @hollycornish @feelmyroarrrr @ancchor @seeyainanotherlifebrotha @aenna-4 @kithlin @heytherepartner @polkadottedpillowcase @johnmurphys-sass @aeillo @winterboobaer @kaaatniss @whyisbuckyso @super-daryl-dixon @wishingtobelost @capdanrogers @gallifreyansass @rockintensse @minaphobia @vaisabu @rchlnwtn @imamoose @ria132love @sofiadiaz04 @actual-bucky-barnes-trash @dolthiac @mytrueself @mynamespaigex @dressedbutwellstressed @onceuponahiddleston @lady-thor-foster @netflixa

Story Tags (closed): @greeneyedgirls4 @mcusebstan @theliteratureloser @lalocket @mrs-lamezec @angelstaruniverse @vindictivegrace @latenightbooknerd @winchesterandpie @dreamer1495 @tomhollands

[achimsigsa-blog]

Preface (1 / 3)

Greetings,

Earthlings!

This will be MY FIRST POST WHICH NOT RELATED TO THIS TUMBLR CONCEPT (yes, i was originally planning to fill the tumblr with food-only posts but i’m running out a space for writing decent posts apparently--and instagram won’t allow me to take that much space for an account with no blue thick on the right side of the username. HAHA. So, okay, let me tell you the main purpose of me, writing this post, is no other than extending my preface page from my thesis report. Having to put cute and witty words in thesis preface is strictly prohibited by my supervisor so in this chance, i’d like to elaborate (and add) some of my gratitude towards these lovelies people which sometimes i don’t deliver it properly. Maybe words could help me this time. Let’s see.

#1. MUN mates

I thought my college life would be dead boring, no fun and exhausting. Well, 3/4 of this statement were true. Most of my days were boring and exhausting because of the endless workloads from class and lab work. But honestly, i found fun while stepping into my 5th semester which they said it was full of awful lab works and assignments and hard courses. The fun was coming from these bunch of squishy peeepol. I remember the first time we held our 1st meeting in front of Perpus and i was coming awkwardly while saying hello to Maul and kak Ben (((WELL I DON’T REALLY REMEMBER THE FACES because i hide my face all the time back then, yes, i was too shy))) and you guys coming gradually until we are complete. It was only a complete delegate of ITS delegation for HN 2016 but right after 9 months of bonding, we are no longer just a delegation but a family to each other. Your first impression was really that strong to me--and i have told you my version on kak Ben’s farewell dinner--but now i’m seeing you guys 1000 times horrible than the first time. A horribly sweet persons. The one that i can always rely on making me less insecure through out these thesis days, the one that always cheer me up with your quirk jokes, the one that always being an ice cream companion ((and mostly kak Ben is all-time victim)), the one that always makes phone gallery full with beautiful faces that i will never forget, the one that always using my car as somewhat a racing car, the one that always provide me with good quality talks, and of course, the one that always makes me miserably longing for going back to only meet you for replenishing my energy. I’d personally mentioning all the members here and leave them a piece of my heart;

1. Kak Benyamin; You’ve been always good to me and you already know that I really, really adore you as my big brother which i’m always longing to have one. Thank you for taking a freaking good care of me and wrap me with your kindness and protect me from bad influence such as Irfanda. No, kidding. But seriously, you just like a hot chocolate brownie coming from the oven--a well baked cake which contains goodness in every layer of it. I wish you good luck for your new journey and let’s meet again in the future kak!

2. Kak Yosar; AH, THIS DUDE. You probably haven’t heard my first impression about you right? Let me tell you here (((and i don’t think that you will read this in the near future anyway))). You looked very attractive at first. At first, okay and past tense. Because I saw you with no motion at all. You were sitting still right across my row on the final simulation but America has altered my FI about you (referring to you look good on .jpg format only). But still in a good way tho HAHAHA. Thank you for bringing your yellow parka to US because i enjoy seeing you with that parka on (((despite i really want to wear yellow parka/raincoat while stomping a puddle in rainy days))) it brings happiness i don’t know how. Thank you for being a great friend of mine. Hope to bump each other someday and you still remember this petite friend!

3. Aidhil; Thank you for (unofficially) adding S.T right after my S.Si on my name. Thank you for trusting me from keeping your TV for some days and to recently jampe-jampein your ppt. Thank you for boosting my confidence in every practice session and tagging me along to have belut for the first time in 1267823491 years. We have pretty much in common actually--too many common friends. Ranging from your junior school friend and even your own cousin (which apparently one of my elementary friends). It’s always fun to have you around my papa bear. See you on Sept at Graha!

4. Ekky; HUHUHUH MY ESVICI PARTNER which always been a very patient yet very hard to reach by any kind of communication device. A Bangil pride. Thank you for teaching me on how to be patient and having a silent but gold personality. Thank you for bearing every esvici weight which i sometimes couldn’t bear it alone and you ended up doing my part also (AND I’M REALLY SORRY ABOUT THIS PARTICULAR MATTER). I wish you good luck for your thesis Ky!! Oh ya, thank you for coming to my thesis defence it was a surprise visit and i was really glad to see you!

5. Darosa; MY QWEEEEN! You are the true role model (after Emma Watson). I am very, very pleased and delighted to have you as my best-girl-friend in this chapter of life! Thank you for teaching me how to be responsible and strong at the same time and showing me that woman is also capable to rule this world. Thank you for being my model especially while we are in 40 Berkeley HAHAHAH those gold old times.. Thank you for lending your precious ears to listen to my bored stories and times for a good conversations. Good luck for your thesis and you gonna nail it for sure!!! Let’s take a group pict on Wisuda with other 2013 gengs!!

6. Karina; My. Miserable. Friend. My. teman. seperjuangan. My. teman. sedih. My. partner. in. crime. My. indie. friend. My. up. to date. and. good. source. of. killing. boredom. friend. Thank you for letting me to ruin your college days just like you ruin mine. It’s always a great time while talking some shit and random stuff with you because you are surprisingly a walking search engine HAHAHAHA. Thank you Jo, for being a really good Surabayan people and making me less hating the city because your presence and others. Thank you for always telling me many good places to visit while i’m still in Surabaya and to feed my insta with good picture HAHAHAHAH. Good luck babe, it’s one step more to the final presentation and you gonna nail it!

7. Maulana; Oh you again. Everyone calls you bonsai and broccoli but I’m the only person who can call you with the most prestigious nick--U.P.I.L. Do you want to know the philosophy behind it? Ask me directly then HAHAHHA. Thank you for having an indecisive personality so i don’t feel like left alone because we share this character also HAHAHAHAH. Thank you for always volunteering yourself to take the steering wheel and drive very carefully. I hope you could find your princess soon so i don’t have to introduce you to my precious friends because you never do it to me as return!!!! HAHAHAHAHAH no, kidding, i only have my eyes for park chanyeol. 

8. Arum; I. MISS. YOU. A. LOT. MY. DISEC. BUDDY. HOW. ARE. YOU. DARLING??? I miss eating together while having a random discussion with you and our girl squad :( I hope you always in a great condition and full of fortune! Thank you for being a really good friend and cute little sister to me. Thank you for being a great partner on council and bear the pressure together and still breathing after comsess end LOL and thank you for introducing me to webtoon world :)

9. Irfanda; Thank you for trusting me to take and process all your photos. Thank you for believing my skill in design and editing. Thank you for always making me istighfar every time your chat appear on my phone. You are my source of ujian keimanan. I hope I will not encounter any kind of irfanda in the future :) Thank you for colouring with black ink marker on this chapter of life. You will not be forgotten.

Your stories have been growing inside me and making a very deep root of mixed feeling. You have a big room on my heart. I will always cherish you in every moment of my life. Thank you, i love you unconditionally.

Best,

Honeystar.

[portersnotebook]

Jay Loves Christine

“It’s a ship. I dunno. Same contract like any other.”

The roast was getting cold between them on the table, Jay’s beer was getting warm and there was no fire in any oven hotter than the one in Christine’s eyes.

“Jay, c’mon, baby, you been on building contracts before. People are talking.”

“Well, while they’re talking can I eat my dinner? Baby, I don’t know. How many ways I gotta say it? You want me to learn Chinese? Say it that way?”

The “it” Jay was building was just a set of ribs. It had taken months just to build the support cage in which the ship would grow and Jay, like every other guy with half a brain on the line, had to admit it was a little bigger than most. A man came by with a piece of paper and made everybody sign it, but that wasn’t gonna fly with Christine.

“Don’t talk at me like I’m stupid, Jay.”

“Christie, gorgeous, love of my life, it’s just a fuckin’ ship. Gonna haul enough macadamia nuts from down south to fill a whale’s nutsack.”

“You’re disgusting.”

“And you’re gorgeous.”

“Shut up.”

But she was smiling.

Picket lines formed outside the job site. People waved signs with slogans like “tell us the truth” and bible quotes. The crowds grew along with the ship.

“Baby, I got promoted.” He banged in through the door of the apartment with a six pack and flowers.

“Jay, I’m scared.”

“You’re scared? Baby, I got a promotion and you’re scared. C’mon. You gotta relax.” He gathered Christine in his arms and lay his cheek against her hair. She was shaking.

“What if what they’re saying is true?” Her voice was muffled by his jacket.

“C’mon. That’s fuckin’ crazy. I mean, I’m not reading all the shit you’re probably reading, but I’m there on the site and whatever they’re saying, it’s bullshit.”

“You telling me the truth?”

“Of course, Christie. You want a beer?”

Later in bed, staring at the unforgiving confessor that is the ceiling, Jay didn’t believe it either.

The doomsday whackjobs grew in strength and number. More police arrived with shields, facemasks and sticks. Forget his commute, it took Jay an hour for them just to cut a path through the Hare Krishnas.

His buddy Kostas shoved a pink rober with a harmonium out of his way. “Least they’re calmer than the biblethumpers.”

“They’re vegetarians.”

“Must be it.” Kostas stiff-armed a guy wearing a ‘Free Hugs’ shirt. “I swear, dude, you want the fuckin’ apocalypse? I’ll hook you up.”

Christine couldn’t talk about anything else, and with each moment the ship grew, Jay couldn’t figure out any new ways to deny it that didn’t make him sound like an idiot.

“I can’t believe you’re buying this shit!” He said.

“I can’t believe you’re just gonna sit there and tell me the sky’s green when it’s not, Jay. What’re you doing, baby?”

“I gotta work, Christine. I don’t know what else to do. They’re still collecting rent and charging for groceries.”

“They’re not telling us everything.”

“Baby, they never tell you everything. C’mon. It’s for fucking shipping. World’s getting smaller. Gotta haul more stuff, I dunno. Fuck you want me to do?”

Christine crossed her arms and shook her head. “You’re so blind, Jay.”

“I still see you pretty good, beautiful.”

“Shup up, Jay.”

But she was smiling.

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ, Jay. You believe this rain?” Kostas put down his rivet gun for a second and wiped his hands.

“Careful with that.”

“Fuck off, Mr. Supervisor.”

Jay chuckled. Over the side of the main deck, the protesters were huddling in the torrential downpour, their signs turned to mush. They still yelled, but it was hard to make out words over the water screaming down out of the sky.

“It’s fuckin’ crazy alright.”

“You ever think...”

“Don’t fuckin’ start, Kos. You sound like Christie.”

Jay stepped away from the workmen and put his hand out under the rain. It had real weight. It wasn’t just falling out of the sky, it was being thrown down. With spite. He heard the end-of-shift whistle screech.

“The fuck’s that for? It’s only five!” He asked Kostas.

“Flood warning. We’re done for the day.”

“Alright. I’m right behind you.”

Jay slipped down below decks. The hallways were done in warm wood, velvet piping and gilt windows. He walked past dozens of private berths, down and down past deck after deck that pared away in opulence until the rooms were just iron stalls with single curtains. He stood in the belly of the ship, dwarfed by the engine. The god-engine the gearmonkeys called it, it was sort of a joke. Jay didn’t like the glint in their eyes when they said it. All these cages. Stout fixtures and floor to ceiling bars and fresh straw on the floors. Across the way cots were stacked for additional sleeping. He picked up a discarded welding torch and climbed to one of the maintenance catwalks near the ship’s massive ribs. With the sparking, snarling torch he wrote:

“Jay Loves Christine”

And drew a heart around it.

He put the torch down and thought for a minute before he added.

“Even if she drives...”

He stopped and drew a line through the last set of words.

“Nah. Nobody needs to know that.” He said and left the job site, through the sloshing rain and the night watchman’s box.

“You just getting done, Jay?”

“Yeah.”

“Ya’ll were supposed to be off the site an hour ago.”

“Had some things to check, relax, Frank.”

A line of trucks was turning the corner ahead. Moving trucks.

“What’s all this?”

“I can’t tell you, Jay.”

“You can’t tell me.”

Frank waved the line of trucks through. “Fact is, man, I got no fuckin’ idea what’s going on.”

Jay watched the trucks pass him and then we went home, sloshing through the pouring rain that didn’t seem like it was ever going to stop. He wondered if Christine had bought beer.

Photo Credit: A ship under construction in London. Jack Benton, 1900.

[ecotone99]

[HR] Blackout

It hadn’t been long after arriving to work that evening that I first began to hear the far off grumblings of a storm. The tremors of thunder sounded like the mumblings of a distant train. And because the metal shop that I worked in was always louder than the rambunctious pits of Hades, a hot and unpleasant place I often compared my employment to, the fact that I could even hear the approaching storm over the loud machines was a warning to just how wicked the weather was about to get.

Or, should I say, how wicked that I had hoped the weather would get.

With a good solid thunderstorm, one filled with tons of shock and awe, there was always a chance that a stray bolt of lightning would strike just the right wire, or that a bad driver who lived their lives on the edge would run into just the right wooden pole, and the power would cease to flow.

There was a time in my youth when a loss of power while at work seemed to happen once or twice a week, maybe even more often, during an especially wild storm season. But a restructured power grid and back-up transformers made that act of god damned near impossible.

A miracle, one might say.

Yet, as that evening’s storm grew closer, I began to clearly hear rain being dumped like a waterfall onto the roof. Lighting started to illuminate the nearby windows like bright camera flashes. And the once mumbling thunder suddenly became a chain of clamorous explosions that shook the solid factory walls around me.

I couldn’t help but get my hopes up.

And then, like the act of god that I had previously mentioned, everything went black.

From a few feet away, I swear I heard several of my coworkers hoot and holler at the sudden darkness, but I was too busy trying to adjust my senses to the new, blind man’s reality. Even though it was a welcomed event, an impenetrable veil had been thrown over my face and it was momentarily throwing off my equilibrium.

I almost felt like I had been time-warped back to the colonial days, back when people did all of their work by the light of the sun, because when the sun went down, people would retreat into their cabin’s to hide from whatever creeps or ghouls might be lurking in the darkness.

From what I could tell, people’s instinctual fear of the night hadn’t really changed all that much over the previous centuries. That innate fear has fueled mankind to work long and hard in order to evolve ways to keep the darkness at bay.

I have been unlucky enough to work the graveyard shift for nearly 10 years and even I forget how totally black the true night can get when all the electrical lights go out.

Thankfully, for the modern men and women of which I work beside, myself included, it was only a temporary inconvenience, because after several seconds of darkness the emergency lights finally kicked on. The emergency floodlights were like dim little spotlights placed sporadically throughout the building. They didn’t do much more than keep a person from running into a wall or falling down a set of concrete steps.

Following company protocol, I used those same dim floodlights by which to navigate my way toward the center of the facility, toward the area the higher-ups have previously designated to be the zone-of-gathering during a blackout. Along the way, I ran into several other shadowy forms, and together, while laughing and carrying on like school kids, we were eventually able to find our designated spot.

After roll call was taken and everyone was accounted for, a handful of flashlights, ones that were just as battered and dim as the overhead floodlights, were randomly passed out among the workers. I couldn’t help but feel somewhat special, because when I stuck my hand out I was allowed to snatch up the last one.

The flashlights on our cell phones would have been easier, less outdated, and we all would have a way to see our way around, but company rules state that all cellular devices were to remain in our lockers while we were on the clock.

What bullshit.

“I need to take a piss,” I informed Dave, my wonderful supervisor.

I could see the wheels beginning to rotate and, after he took longer than I had expected to make a choice, he eventually replied, “Fine. But don’t go alone.” He then turned to the rest of the group and added, “Listen up, people. I don’t want anyone doing anything alone. You hear me? I don’t know how long the power will be out, so just sit tight and bear with me, here. If you do need to use the restroom or get a drink of water or retrieve something from your locker, first let me know, and then use the buddy system. Also, make sure one of the two of you have a flashlight.”

I turned and pointed my dim beam of light onto the person immediately to my left. Bethany. As the glowing orb fell on her freckled face, I asked,“Would you like to be my bathroom buddy?”

I’m not sure if she turned her face away because she became bashful or because the piece of shit flashlight actually hurt her eyes, but with her face slightly turned away, she replied, “Lead the way...buddy.”

Once again, I couldn’t help but feel slightly special.

The manufacturing facility in which I worked was large and spread out enough that there were three separate sets of restrooms. For obvious reasons, Bethany and I traveled to the group of bathrooms that were farthest away.

As we walked, I could still hear the thunderstorm bashing and clashing, like a toddler throwing a tantrum.

When we got closer to the east side of the facility, I noticed that for some reason the floodlights in that area were not working. Our single flashlight became the only source of illumination. I consider myself to be somewhat of a rough and tough guy, but when Bethany and I entered the darkness of that area, I felt goosebumps break out along my arms and a cold chill fall down my spine.

Because I was still the one holding the flashlight and not because I was unexpectedly filled with nervous energy, I let Bethany walk out in front of me. We found the bathrooms pretty easily, even though it was kind of hard to see, and I watched curiously as Bethany’s shadow spilled onto the door to the men’s room.

“That one is for dudes, you know,” I told her, when it seemed like she was about to go inside.

Bethany turned back to me. Shades of light and dark covered her face like a strange mask, but I could clearly make out the smirk that twisted her lips.

“You talk too much,” she said.

I was barely a foot away when she reached out and grabbed my hand. With a strength I hadn’t expected her skinny arms to muster, she pulled me through the swinging door and into the men’s bathroom.

As we bumbled toward the long row of sinks, I meant to lay the flashlight gently onto the counter space, but instead sent the orb of light tumbling against the nearest drain. Picking Bethany’s petite frame into the air, I placed her in a sitting position on the counter. My tongue quickly found her mouth and my hands found her flesh. I immediately remembered how warm and soft Bethany was, and how much I enjoyed sinking into her freckle covered skin.

But I instantly became self-conscious about the unlocked bathroom door.

Instead of locking the bathroom door, however, I picked Bethany back up off the counter and carried her into the nearest stall. We squeezed into the tight space and still somehow managed to close the door behind us. Once again, we were covered in a blanket of complete darkness. After dropping the toilet seat, I sat down and let her straddle me.

It was gross and dirty, in more ways that one.

Bang!

I nearly jumped back up at the loud commotion, but Bethany’s weight kept me seated.

“It’s only thunder,” she insisted, before running her lips along my neck.

It didn’t sound like thunder. It was too close. I could still hear the storm outside, but it sounded much weaker than it had a few minutes before, as if it was either dying off already or moving on.

Bang!

“What the fuck!?” I cried out, as the sound seemed to echo within the room.

It sounded like it came from within the bathroom. Maybe someone was messing with the restroom door? I thought to myself. Maybe someone was trying to fuck with us?

Bang!

“That isn’t thunder,” I told her.

Bang!

I no longer wanted to do what we were doing. I began to fidget in the dark and insisted that Bethany get off of me. The mood was gone. To be more exact, it had been viciously murdered. With our hormones dried up, the tight space suddenly became overly cramped and awkward, but we still managed to find our way out of the stall. Bethany was the first to exit and I slowly followed behind. Cautiously, I scanned the bathroom to find it empty.

My eyes quickly darted to the door.

Closed.

After snatching up the flashlight from the sink, I was about to turn and head for the door when I heard a strange rustling coming from above me. Without thinking, I pointed the beam of light toward the ceiling.

That was when I saw her.

A woman...dressed in all black.

And, as if in slow motion, she was falling down toward me.

Instinctively, I jumped backward out of the way and expected to hear a solid thud as the falling woman hit the tile. But there was no thud. Because the woman never hit the floor. Tied around her neck was a thick piece of rope and before she reached the ground, the noose tightened. The rope made a loud, solid sound when it caught the woman’s falling weight.

Bang!

Behind me, Bethany shrieked.

Somehow, I managed to keep from screaming. With my flashlight, I tracked the rope and was shocked to see that the other end wasn’t tied to anything. The rope simply ran straight upward from the woman’s neck before somehow disappearing into the ceiling.

Swiftly, I brought the flashlight back down and shone the beam of light across the woman’s face. She was an older lady with white hair and a face covered in deep wrinkles. Her eyes were sunken in and had dark circles around them. When she opened her mouth wide, she revealed a row of broken, black teeth.

With her mouth gaping open, a banshee shrill escaped from the old woman. Her legs and feet began to kick and punch the air as she howled in pain.

From every corner of the restroom, I suddenly heard phantom voices speaking from unseen throats. The ghost voices began to chant in unison.

“Witch! Witch! Witch!”

Without warning, an unseen force pulled the rope and yanked the woman up into the ceiling. She disappeared from sight and, for what felt like an eternity, I couldn’t find the rational thought to move or even speak.

“Witch! Witch! Witch!”

And then out of nowhere, the woman was sent hurling back down. That time, though, when the woman reached the end of the rope, the sound of the noose pulling tight was almost deafening.

Bang!

As the noose violently grabbed hold, I watched in terror as the old woman’s neck snapped. I could clearly hear her bones shatter.

“Witch! Witch! Witch!”

Finally, I was able to move. And I ran as fast I could out of the restroom, Bethany on my heels. We never slowed a step until we had rejoined our coworkers.

I know that Bethany and I had both seen the old woman hanging. I know we had both heard the phantom voices. But, neither one of us spoke to the other about that night. It was never mentioned. I wouldn’t even know where to begin without sounding batshit crazy. And as far as I know, neither one of us told anyone else, either.

Let’s just say, I never partook in another restroom rendezvous with another coworker after that, no matter how warm her body was or cute her freckles might be.

submitted by /u/Jackson_Arthur [link] [comments] via Blogger https://ift.tt/3iq7LN8