#but really can you imagine being a 11 year old and taking fighting lessons from a 6 year old?

[familyofpaladins]

@tmaynt Day 16: Favorite Episode

It was hard to pick just one episode to do. But TMNT (2003) Season 3 Episode 11: The Lesson is one I love because I love stories where we find out that the characters actually met each other as kids. And the fact that the turtles tried to teach Casey how to fight (someone who is older than them) while switching turns of who is doing the teaching without actually talking to each other about what they've taught so far is very funny to me.

I thought about also doing the Battle Nexus Arc from 2003 because I really like those episodes too, also 1987's "Pizza by the Shred" (Michelangelo accidentally ends up working for Shredder as a delivery boy who is trying to catch the turtles with pizza) and "Cowabunga Shredder" (Thanks to plans gone awry, Shredder ends up with Michelangelo's personality) because they're absolutely hilarious to me lol

[floridamanmike]

Ninjago/ATLA AU bc there's not enough of those.

Lloyd is the avatar and the Fire Prince and this boi is going thru it. He begins Fire Bending Training very young so by 10 years old he's pretty good but has not mastered it. When he was 11 he accidentally waterbent while feeding the turtleducks with Wu. Wu of course was like 'well shit' and helped Lloyd understand what it meant and also kept it a secret bc Garmadon would either get his son to help him take over the world or if he couldn't he'd probably just imprison him (to make sure he's not reincarnated.) He does actually care for his son but he cares about power just a bit more. When Lloyd turned 14, he and Wu left to travel the world and find teachers for Lloyd so that he could defeat Garmadon. They left at night undetected and now are being hunted down by the Fire Nation. Wu for 'kidnapping' and Lloyd to be brought back to the palace.

Fire Lord Garmadon. After taking the throne he decided he wanted to take over the world and started the war. :|

Wu. This mans never helped out in the war because he didn't agree with it at all. He hung out in the palace doing whatever it is the fire lord's brother does and helping raise Lloyd. When Lloyd was like 2 he left on a 'spiritual journey' for about a year- he just kinda wandered around the world.

Firebender Jay but he only uses lightening bc he went a little backwards in his self taught learning adventures. He accidentally figured out he can control lightening before fire. Upon trying to firebend he either can't even produce a spark or he basically just combustion bends but really badly and it explodes in his face. He doesn't keep trying bc he doesn't really care. Lightening is cool af dude who needs fire. Grew up in the middle of nowhere in the Fire Nation at Ed and Edna's Swap Shop. (Basically a junk yard.) Ed and Edna are nonbenders. (lmao just imagine you own a swap shop and someone just leaves a whole ass baby and takes a lamp or something while ur sleeping) Wu and Lloyd met Jay not long after they left the palace. They were taking back roads and less populated areas to remain unfound when they stumbled upon the Swap Shop. They figured, 'hey we should get less nice things because rich people are very noticeable actually.' Jay who is 16 was like 'mom and dad can I please join these travelers who are actually the fire prince/avatar and his uncle (jay saw a wanted poster) because a- the avatar needs to learn to control lightning bc it would be useful, and b- I want to travel please please please' and thus Lloyd and Wu gained their first moron.

Non-bender Misako. She left to find the avatar when Lloyd was still a baby- not knowing the avatar is her fucking son - bc she wants to stop FL Garmadon and figured committing treason wouldn't be the way to go about it. She wanted to take Lloyd but Garmadon wouldn't let her.

Cole (17) is an earthbender. He wanders the earth kingdom climbing mountains and shit after running away from home. His dad is a performer in Ba Sing Se. After Lilly died, Lou just threw himself into it, ignoring everything else and forcing Cole into dance lessons more often. He didn't want Cole using his bending/fighting because he relates it to Lilly's death. (Instead of resting and receiving treatment for her illness she continued fighting in the army until she got too sick to continue.) Wu meets Lilly while he's off doing his soul searching. Later when he's trying to find teachers for Lloyd, he searches for her, and they come across Cole instead. Cole had been taught by badgermoles after he ran away, and also earned cash by occasionally joining fighting rings in random towns and is a skilled earthbender so he joins to teach Lloyd and beat tf out of the fire lord.

Firebender Kai (16) and Waterbender Nya (14). Kai is a blacksmith and they live in an Earth Kingdom colony. He figured out he's a firebender when he was 12. Nya still hasn't figured out she's a waterbender. They don't know their parents were benders bc they died when Kai and Nya were both pretty young. (FALSE they were arrested bc mixed relationships were illegal in the fire nation. Kai and Nya don't know this bc from their pov their parents just kinda didn't come home one day.) Maya went with the warriors as a healer when they left the Southern Water Tribe. She and one of the men had stayed behind in a nearby earth Kingdom town bc he was wounded badly. She met Ray while he was making blacksmith deliveries. Wu finds Kai and Nya in the village when he's looking to repair Lloyd's sword. He learns of Kai's hatred of the war, and Nya's desire to Do Something and they end up joining the crew. Lloyd and Kai train together since Kai hasn't really had any proper training, and Lloyd is still learning firebending.

Zane (18) is a waterbender from the Northern Water Tribe. His fighting style is like 97% ice, 3% water. Wu and the gang travel to the NWT to find a waterbending teacher. (On the way Nya gets pissed at some fire nation soldier and accidentally freezes him - learns she's a waterbender) When they arrive, Lloyd starts his training under the prev. Master of Ice (do we ever learn his name??) but he won't teach Nya - very Pakku of him - She gets pissed off and Zane is like 'Master why not teach her? She clearly possesses the ability and desire to learn? To which Ice is like fuk that shes a girl. Anyway Zane agrees to teach Nya since he's pretty much a bending master already and Lloyd is like well I'd rather learn from a guy who's not a prick, too. Ice gets mad that Zane is teaching Nya and Zane is like well if she can't learn in the NWT perhaps we should leave so that she isn't in the NWT and then she can learn. Thus Zane has joined the group.

[thequietmanno1]

Thelreads, Vigilantes 81, Replies Part 1

1) “But today I`m full of energy and ready to dunk down Furuhashi once again! This arc is going spectacularly… polarizing, to say the least, but there`s still hope that things can get better for this story, I believe in the me that believes in Vigilantes.”- I do think, if nothing else, that getting Koichi out of his comfort zone and pushing him into the kind of similar situations Izuku’s ben exposed to on a regular basis has done wonders for his effectiveness as a hero on the field- far more than his direct lessons from Knuckle did anyway

2) “And there`s my little boy, looking at the horizon, and the bright flaming ball coming crashing down after the five minutes were up and Endeavor managed to hit Pop.”- He’s not to Izuku’s level, but with his trademark hoodie off, I do notice some muscle definition on his lithe frame there. That self-training really did improve him mentally and physically from the pushover he used to be.

3) “Huh- What?

Is this a flashback? When was this? No, flashbacks have black backgrounds, is this Pop imagining things or something?”- Losing herself in a ‘what-if’ whilst her body’s moving according to her worst impulses and the directions of the parasite inside her skull. 4) “Yeah, absolutely her imagination. It`s not even the fact she`out of school and looking for a job, it`s the fact that Koichi is being sweet to her without his usual accidental jerkniess “- Who knows, maybe he’d dial it back a bit after a few years to mature more and once he’d realised that he does think of Pop as somebody other than a close partner who sticks by his side.

6) “Now Pop certainly has some interesting dreams about them, not exactly together, but still close after all this time, fighting crime while adults. It`s just really hilarious, in a sad way, that she can`t even imagine them dating, even in her dreams she`s just chasing him while he`s oblivious.”- She’s thinking of them as using these vigilante activities as the closest thing to a date they can get, an enjoyable activity to spend time together with and grow closer together before eventually taking it to the next level- though pointedly, I couldn’t help noticing that the narrative skipped straight to the end result without going through the gradual process. Almost like Pop’s mind was too embarrassed to fully plan out all the necessary happenings that would be needed to get there. 7) “IT`S THEM FUCKING TRAINS AGAIN

FUCKING HELL I FORGOT ABOUT THEM”- Who could forget the pain trains and their current boom in business, both here and in MHA? 8) “BABY POPICHI

TWO OF THEM

WHAT THE FUCK”- It’s interesting how her imagined scenario focuses more on how her theoretical daughter would be growing up rather than her son with Koichi- almost like Pop isn’t exactly certain of how to relate to a kid that had more in common with Koichi than herself. 9) “WHAT IS GOING ON

IS POP REALLY DREAMING ALL OF THIS WHILE SHIT`S GOING ON?

WHAT, IS THE NEXT ONE GONNA BE THEM OLD PLAYING WITH THEIR GRANDKIDS?”- Sadly, they don’t quite get that old – likely because Pop’s mentality can’t keep this ‘safe daydream’ going much longer, keeping the sweet and nice parts of herself intentionally blind to the damage she’s doing. Unlike Tomura, who embraces his villainy, I get the sense that part of Pop is deeply ashamed of what she’s done so far, but knows it’s too late to turn back, so she doesn’t truly fight the parasite’s commands and instead mentally averts her gaze and distracts herself with thoughts of what could have been. 10) “So, in her dreams, although Pop never got to achieve her dreams she still had a daughter that decided to follow down the same path, interesting. Also, you haven`t changed one bit Koichi, what`s your skincare? Tell me”- It’s almost like Pop can’t truly imagine an older Koichi being much different from who he is now, effectively still the same person, but just slightly older-looking. 11) “Now, for real, what is the actual situation? Because Tamao had memories of her past, but it was like another completely different person, I don`t actually remember if it was ever implied it was still her and the parasite just made her evil, the one moment where it seems like her real self was coming to surface was during the fight with knuckles, when more of her frustration with her dad in the past suddenly showed up, but that seemed like an extreme moment when a geyser erupted, Pop just seems to be herself but evil all the time.

Like, that phrase she gave would`ve been fucking amazing, if this all wasn`t just a brainwashing parasite and it was instead really her decision to do this.”- It seems to be all mixed-up and confused inside Pop’s head as it is the narrative, but the most I can make out is that she was fully controlled to bring out her worst side by the parasite during the prior outing, and now, with whatever different formula Nomura’s had injected into her for this show, she’s got more self-awareness and regrets about her situation, but likewise believes she’s too far gone anymore? It could be a means of getting her to ‘express her real feelings more’, as I sorta got the impression that in his own twisted mind, Nomura actually does think he’s doing Pop a favour by forcing her into this role, so she can stop holding herself back and let it all out.

12) “I hope you are eclectic Koichi, you`re about to get into a whole different genre of music, a rather painful one I`d say.”- He’s gotta match her rhythm to get closer to her, both physically and emotionally. Good thing he’s been training up his dance moves. @thelreads

[incarnateirony]

She still won't say sike. So. Um.

i'm in pain especially after checking my 11 is 11 threads and what was in the recent send overs

Shealyn Bonds needing a tenth dimensional lesson to both break her mercurial addiction and stalking habits are cult shit but also to stop being intentionally disassociatively transphobic in particular and being heard by brain baked gnostics across the world. Except that one time came through REAL clear.

DaddyreaPOP SO CUTE how would u feel if i gave u a boiled egg. You have to crush it to see the yolk. Why go back and change history instead of moving forward baaaaadada!badupabadup [insert pornography] mmm baby baby fealzo good badabadabaduptada

#magus stop taking my shit homegirl, u place copyright papersymbol and you take others creations? How you tricks (Reptilians) I know you, you still connected to me. Psycho.

Some things you can't whine, or reblog, or log out of, Shealyn. Some things just are.

You can hop off of me now.

Again. Disappeared, out of here, it was time to pay my dues. Never guessed that you'd be dressed in my clothes and in my shoes, but you never thought I'd fight back, because you knew so little, you never accepted He had left you, and you just had shadow projections, and then by the time you were here, well. Quite a moment to be a fool. Give it up girl, cuz we're both back. I'm back. And you need to accept all of what that means. Admit to yourself what you have done, and then admit to everyone, and delete the wrongdoings and fix it. And most of all amidst it, hop the fuck off it. All the way this time.

You think I'm still "wishing" for anything. No. I am Willing, Working, Doing, and Being.

Because you refuse my face and name as Aaron, or Oron, I am Bird. I'm Henry, I'm Tired, I Laid An Egg, I think you're a piece of crap person, and a terrible birdparent. I like the spicy pigeon you didn't look at close enough to bring home. That ma'am is going to be the egg of nightmares even if it can't hatch, it hatching isn't the point. I never even expected it to Become so literal, but I should have had more faith in myself, aye?

It was always a snake wearing a snake under some girl mask. I can appreciate being a girl, but sometimes, a girl gotta scream Childe's cry connected to Akasha Internet. Always has been. I'd be like mf Windrunner for real. Imagine gender being in everything. But that old mask became shadow, and that old shadow has become Persona, and you cannot claim my life, my face, my identity, or my soul just because you regret your decisions and can't face them. You cannot cage me, I will not be harassed across this life and the next purely because you can't stop attaching to or projecting on me. It's over, and it's all you. All of it, this entire thing, it's all you.

And it's you, it's all you. And it's a con. And it's you, and it is, and it's about just being, and it is, and it is, and it's in the room with you, and I brought a lot of friends. Happy listening. No negotiations, no bargaining, no pleas, no reblog arguments, your karma is actually still in the acting negative. You can do nothing but tell the truth to end it.

Saying no and drawing the Absolute Boundary, without being cowed by complaints of those who do not understand, is the most liberating thing I've ever done.

Hey Shea... ever wake up from a dream with real weird narrative consistency? Maybe you should read that 2013 interview some time, around when you tried to rip out my eye, or when Ash tried to kill you, or when you kept seeing me around the mall, give or take an orientation of a year.

Yeah, that one, that's the one. That period. Anyway it's real fun, death, sex, everything between, like crazy disco lights, in the Winchester Mystery House built together by a madwoman carpenter who won't build anymore despite working in construction. People think Tartarus is a place of punishment, but it's really, more the space between dreams. Though I hear its snow is very useful...

Your home is fucking void until you dismount me, since you haven't just attached yourself, but your entire cult, to this bahamut ride. And none of your gods are real, none of the ones you call anyway. You break your own rings for me when I tell you not to. When the saints are away, we become the saints.

[garrothromeave]

mcd garroth + laurance headcanons for the sake of me posting something while working on my long-ass post, also happy birthday blaze ily, 

garroth - total momma’s boy. seems obvious, but it’s true -- back in o’khasis, he was practically glued to the side of zianna. whenever she had to leave for a few days when he was younger, he’d cry if he couldn’t go with her. when he left for the guard academy, he wrote to zianna on a daily basis. to put it simply, he had separation anxiety. the hardest thing about faking his death was not being able to see or talk to his mother. - incredible piano player. his father made him take lessons when he was younger for quite a few years, but he was naturally very good at it. he never mentions this skill to anyone. while they were at malachi’s castle and were looking for materials before they left, garroth stumbled upon an old piano and played something. he got really into it, and laurance ended up stumbling on him playing. he made laurance swear to never tell anyone about it. - when garroth was around eight or nine, his stutter was so bad that garte didn’t let him speak in public or around any people other than the family out of shame. vylad and zianna used to help garroth with his stutter.

- garroth is very sensitive to the saying “oh my irene.” growing up in the ro’meave house, it was taboo to use irene’s name in vein. or anywhere in o’khasis, really. nowadays he’s still very caustious whenever he says it, because he thinks that someone is going to yell at him. - horrified of getting hurt. back during the days of training in the guard academy, while he was very good with technique and fighting itself, he had a very bad flinching problem. overall, for the longest time, wounds and pain made garroth very uncomfortable. because of this fear of getting hurt, he has a bit of a stubble because of the one time he hurt himself while shaving.   - 6′4, because 6′11 is unbelievably tall and i honestly don’t even think that it’s canon? s’yeah. he seems 6′4 to me.

- garroth often sees new things and (internally) has this very child-like wonder response. he was sheltered for the entirety of his childhood and teenagehood. and after the guard academy, he stayed put in the same village for 5 years -- so he hasn’t experienced very much. he often wants to ask dozens of questions, but because of his shyness, he tends to just observe anything new very closely. which leads me to my next headcanon,

- because of o’khasis’ intolerance to many things, he was not very commonly exposed to magick’s users. the first magicks user that he directly met would be zoey, and he was very nervous when talking to her the first time he met her. when garroth gets to know her more, she catches on that he’s curious about a lot of things, and offers to tell him about things. he declines, and he regrets that decision to this day.

- as stated before, o’khasis isn’t very tolerable of things, which caused garroth to develop incredibly bad internalized homophobia. when aphmau comes along, he gets a very strong desire to protect her (little do we know, this strong desire comes from his connection with esmund) and confuses it for/tries to convince himself that it’s romantic love. it is in fact love, just platonic. so basically, this man’s gay as hell.

- garroth has more freckles than any other ro’meave family member. he’s mildly insecure about his freckles, seeing them as a ‘childish’ trait, which is why he wasn’t very bothered with the idea of hiding his face with his helmet. 

- his hair is super curly. it used to be more tame, but as he got older, it got more curly. it’s usually a mess because he doesn’t know how to take care of it, but it somehow looks hot as hell. (no homo ofc.)

- garroth is allergic to blueberries. 

- raven was garroth’s first genuine connection since he left o’khasis. zenix was his second. he loves raven a lot, and hates that he can’t see him as often as he’d like to.

- garroth is a total cat person. don’t get me wrong, he loves dogs, but if he were to choose between having one or the other, he’d choose to have a cat. he had a pet cat when he was little that he still thinks about a lot. (probably named sprinkles, just for the hell of it.)

- because of how he grew up, garroth’s actually a very picky eater. while he’d never admit it to himself or anyone else, he misses the more “rich-people” food he was spoiled with. 

- garroth isn’t actually that stupid, when he first arrived at pheonix drop, he had a name in mind that he wanted to go by (to better hide his identity). however, when his name was asked by someone, he panicked and “garroth” accidently slipped. he beat himself up for the longest time after that. the only reason he finally let go is because no one had ever pointed out how/seemed suspicious he had the same name as the deceased first-born son of o’khasis.

laurance - his hair grows decently quick, so even after cadenza cut it for him, it only took about 4 months for it to grow back just past his shoulders. he prefers it having some length to it anyways, and usually ties is back into a ponytail. after the irene dimension, he would let nekoette braid his hair. - has a very lanky body type. naturally has long limbs, and would often get called a ‘stick’ when he was younger. he’s about 5′11. but don’t confuse his thinner stature for weakness, he matches garroth’s strength easily.

- bi icon. fuck that “you were my first kiss” bullshit he gives aphmau, the list exists and while it’s stupid and weird, according to it, garroth was his first kiss. which is fuckin funny as hell if you think about it.

- laurance is very good with animals. more so rodents and smaller creatures, like squirrels, birds, rabbits, etc. cadenza was convinced that laurance could talk to animals for the longest time. he even had this little mouse that would pop in his house. however, on the contrary, larger animals -- not so much. he’s shit with horses and cows, especially. 

- incredible singer. has serenaded aphmau on multiple occasions, and has even gotten her to sing along with him from time to time. he sang for malachi to help him fall asleep every night since the day they met him. this caused him to start singing for levin at night as well. when laurance saw malachi again after the 15 year jump, within the first few days of his return, malachi asked for laurance to sing for him again just like he used to. which brings me to my next headacanon,

- laurance saw malachi as his own child, and treated him as such. they were very close, and malachi was the most heartbroken over laurance’s disappearance since he saw him very much as a father. it wasn’t that laurance favored malachi over levin that created this bond, it was the fact that laurance first-hand saw a child in need of a home and someone to love him, and it reminded him of when he was small. 

- he’s a sucker for bets. gambles, wages, anything like that. while he’s not directly a gambler, if someone offers he’s sure to accept. he’s a risk-taker, and ends up getting really into it. this also branches into his competitive behavior. he’ll be really upset and possibly a bit petty if he loses. why else do you think he still hadn’t given castor the 5 dollars he owes him?

- slingshot master. you give this motherfucker a slingshot he can kill someone with his impeccable aim. he’s also very good with a bow and arrow or any sort of projectile, but he’s the best with a slingshot. when he was younger, he hand-made slingshots from materials that he’d find around the forest.

- speaking of the forest, laurance is a very nature-loving soul. when he moved to meteli when he was adopted, he’d often go and explore the forests nearby. he and cadenza would use their imaginations and play all sorts of games. laurance and her especially loved to climb trees, and would jump from branch to branch. this helped laurance become very flexible. this is also how he met sasha, she was sitting in his favorite tree one day and they just hit it off from there.

- after he was rescued from the nether, laurance frequently had nightmares that would lead into sleep paralysis episodes. the first time it happened garroth had been looking over him (since this was around the time when laurance first got back and garroth had allowed aphmau to go do her lord tasks while he watched over him) and when he had the ability to move and speak again, he started freaking out. garroth had to calm him down and assure laurance that he’d talk to zoey about what happened. garroth and zoey are the only ones that know of laurance’s sleep paralysis, mainly because he didn’t want to worry aphmau or anyone else. zoey often gave him ways to cope with it. it didn’t happen every night, but it did occur at least 5-6 times a month. his sleep paralysis stopped the moment he entered the nether for the second time. 

- the first time laurance heard he’d made the list for the jury of nine, he felt honoured. when he was oblivious to how corrupt it was, he saw it as a huge opportunity. after learning about it’s true nature, he was still glad that he’d made the list -- because him being on the list prevented another person from risking being on the list and being chosen to be apart of the jury.

- yes, laurance can cook very will in this universe as well. it’s not that he was taught, it’s more that he can look at ingredients and just throw them together to make great combinations. zoey also taught him a few things.

- laurance does not know his real birthday. malachi does not remember his. since cadenza had “given” laurance a birthday, he offered to let malachi share his unofficial birthday with him. malachi accepted. 

garroth + laurance

- laurance began referring to garroth as “pretty boy” after seeing his face. he continued to call him that for the first month of their friendship. garroth hated it, and that’s the only reason laurance eventually stopped.

- laurance and garroth are both very good story tellers, but after one incident where garroth was telling levin and malachi a story, he started stumbling a bit over his words and couldn’t articulate correctly, so laurance picked it up and continued it. from there, they took turns with the story and occasionally interrupted one another to add a detail or plot point, and after that, malachi refused to listen to garroth or laurance separately when telling stories, because their collective minds came up with the most fascinating shit.

- garroth isn’t the best at coming up with insults because he’s simply too nice, but laurance loves to make fun of garroth (in good fun, of course). however, there is one thing that garroth could hold over laurance; and that was their height difference. whenever laurance would mess with him, garroth would just bring up height to piss laurance off. 

- when laurance regained his sight, him and garroth sparred very often. that’s when garroth realized how much strength laurance actually had, since he’d originally underestimated him. laurance, in all honesty, was equally surprised. their spars were pretty evenly matched.

- while these two are best friends, the amount of arguments they’ve had is insane. most of them were light-hearted and were more so disagreements, but sometimes things escalated and would result in yelling. that’s because laurance always took it a step too far. that, or garroth would try to disregard what they were talking about, which only made laurance more heated. but they’re both incredibly quick to forgive each other. once they had a really bad argument and didn’t talk for an entire hour afterwards, but once they saw each other again it was like they’d never fought. 

- since garroth grew up with everything and laurance often had to hunt and shit, garroth wasn’t amazing at it. laurance found out, originally teased garroth, but gave him tips and took him out and taught him how to hunt. garroth’s still shit at it when he does it alone, but when he does it with laurance he’s pretty decent. 

- garroth doesn’t drink. laurance does. laurance once tried to convince garroth to drink, but he refused -- which laurance respected, but garroth had to deal with drunk laurance for the rest of the night at the guard station. he learned things that he really wish he hadn’t that night. 

---

i had more for garroth and laurance’s relationship, but uh, i don’t really have time to write them down, so take these for now! i hope y’all enjoy them as much as i did writing them :]

[amazonswin]

Saudade: Chapter 3

Pairing: Duncan/Courtney (Total drama)

Word count: 1.3k

———

18:37 - Courtney, please call me back.

11:26 - I know, just call so we can talk about it

19:43 - I’m not mad. Can we please meet up to talk?

13:21 - Court..

Courtney looked down at the seemingly countless missed calls and messages. How could she even respond? Sorry I didn’t tell you I had your baby, I was a stupid sixteen year old? No. That wouldn’t fix anything. Duncan seemed to have his life together, maybe that should count for something. And Maelie. Maelie deserved a chance to know her dad. But would that do more harm than good? He wasn’t a good person before, and how could she possibly know if he had truly changed. Courtney couldn’t risk it. She needed to protect her daughter, and herself.

She had barely realized it was time to take lunch. The usually busy office was silent as she walked out. The last thing she expected to see behind the door was him.

“What are you doing here?” Courtney looked around, making sure no one would witness their conversation.

“You wouldn’t answer my calls and we have to talk about this.”

“You cannot be here and you definitely cannot make a scene. Imagine what they’ll say about me…”

“I’m not here to make a scene, I just want to talk.”

“Fine, but not here.” Courtney walked off, with Duncan not far behind.

The park was within walking distance, but far enough away that she was sure no one would overhear. Aside from a few parents with their children, it was rather empty anyway. Courtney used to be sure that she knew everything, but she had no idea how to have this conversation.

“So why did you hide it?” Duncan was sick of beating around the bush. He wanted, he needed, answers.

“I was sixteen and pissed off” She sighed, “I was perfect, I made sure my life was perfect and worked very hard to keep it that way. And then came you. You were my complete opposite and I hated you. But I also was in love and I was crazy. Extremely crazy. But, hey, I had you.”

She took a deep breath and looked up before continuing.

“Until I didn’t… you cheated and left. To make it worse it was with someone who I had the audacity to consider a friend. I had no one. Then I lost the stupid show and had nothing. I went home a loser and a failure. I had to face my parents that way, face the world that way. Once settled I noticed something was different, I was… off. With the stress and the depression, I didn’t think much of it. By the time I found out it was too late. Not that I wouldn’t have kept her… I honestly don’t know what I would have done. I’m grateful I didn’t have to make that choice. The right thing was to tell you, I knew that. But I couldn’t, after all you did to me? I wanted you to hurt, to suffer like I did.”

Duncan couldn’t look at her. He knew he hurt her, but he never really considered how much.

“A few months in, I knew I had to tell you. But by then no one knew where you were. I gave up even trying. I was selfish and horrible, and I know that now… I really do wish I could change it. But I can't…”

“I know I hurt you, and god I wish I could change that. But it doesn’t matter. We had a baby and you didn’t tell me. I deserved to know. And I deserve to know her.” Duncan tried to control his temper, but who could blame him for being mad? It was his kid. And he didn’t even get to know.

“Duncan, I’m sorry…”

“I want to meet her. I want to be involved.”

“I can’t let her get hurt.”

“The only one hurting her is you. She deserves a dad, and you kept that away.”

“Duncan…” Courtney felt helpless, she knew he was right. But was she really willing to risk it? No. There had to be conditions, she had to protect Maelie. “Fine. An introduction. But there needs to be terms.”

“Are we really going to negotiate this? I have the right to meet my child.” Duncan had enough, he wasn’t going to let this stay hidden any longer. He couldn’t.

“It’s the only way we both get what we want. You meet her, I keep her safe. You agree or I can’t let it happen.”

“Fine.” He reluctantly agreed. He had to and he knew it. “So what are these terms?”

“You can meet, but only as my friend. No mention of you being her dad, not yet.”

***

Courtney’s house was exactly as Duncan expected. Clean cut neighborhood, white picket fence. His motorcycle turned more than a few heads as he rode in. She opened the door before he even had the chance to knock.

“Quite the place you got here.”

“It’s nothing much… Here come in” Courtney moved aside to let him in.

You could hardly tell someone in their twenties lived here. It was too formal, not a single thing seemed out of place. Even for Courtney, this seemed a little too adult. He questioned if it was her taste at all.

“This is a really nice place. How much did it cost ya?” He joked.

“Ha. Well as absent as they were, my parents do at least financially provide.” One of the few things the pair had in common was crappy parents. Though he really couldn’t compare his constant fighting to hers never being there. The two bonded over it early in their relationship, but Duncan figured as Courtney got older it may have got better. Looks like it didn’t.

“So they bought this?”

“Yep. Along with most everything in it.” Courtney had of course protested their decisions, but at least they were somewhat involved. They hardly came over anyway, just the occasional holiday. “Except Maelie’s room, that’s all her” She smiled. Courtney hardly changed much around the house, but once she turned six Maelie demanded a room full of pink. There was no talking her out of it.

“Where is she anyway? It’s awfully quiet for a kid.”

“Oh, she had some lessons after school. Her friend’s mom offered to drop her off, so should be here any minute now.” Courtney hated how awkward this was. Maybe she could talk about Maelie’s violin lessons? That was a skill she was more than happy to pass on. But bragging didn’t seem like the best option. So waiting was the only thing to do.

Finally a knock caught her attention. Courtney quickly answered and made some polite small talk with the mom. Given the age difference and her constant work schedule, she never found much in common with the other mothers. She tried her best for her daughter’s sake, but despised every moment of it.

Duncan was shocked at the sight of Maelie. She looked just like Courtney, the same light brown skin and scattered freckles. The only difference was her big, striking blue eyes. There was no denying that she was his daughter, and he loved her already.

She set her bag down before slightly hiding behind her mom, “Mommy, who is that?”

Courtney squatted beside her to be more eye level, “This is Mommy’s friend, Duncan. He’s going to join us for dinner, okay?”

“Okay..” She responded as she moved a bit closer to him, “It’s nice to meet you Mr. Duncan.” Maelie reached her hand out, giving Duncan’s hand a rather firm shake. “My mom says that a good handshake creates a good first impression. Otherwise they’ll walk on you” She shrugged.

He laughed, “Well with that shake, no one will walk on you.” With that it was clear she was the perfect mix of the both of them. Of what they could have been.

[thephantomessoftheopera]

Notes on Gaston Leroux’ “The Phantom of the Opera” - Chapter 6: “The Enchanted Violin”

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Artwork by @coatntails on deviantart

“The Enchanted Violin” introduces us to the childhood friendship of Raoul and Christine - but first, we learn that Christine did not continue to triumph at the Opera, but only sang once more in society at the invitation of the Duchess of Zurich and, after that, cancelled everything including a charity concert. She was apparently terrified by her triumph during the gala night, and didn’t “recognize herself” anymore when she sings. Before, she was emotionally distant and indifferent because she had shut everything out so she could cope with the grief of her father’s death. The amount of passion and feeling that Erik’s lessons had to rekindle in her must have felt terrifying and perhaps even painful to her. Plus, baring your heart and soul on stage like she did is, by itself, something that can indeed feel terrifying! In this chapter, we learn that Raoul has indeed been watching her performances at the Opera for some time, but also felt that she seemed indifferent to everything and everyone - until her soul finally came alive again with her gala night performance.

Philippe de Chagny has even tried to further her career with the managers to please his little brother, but Christine does not wish for him to do so. Raoul tries to seek her out, but without success. One morning though, Raoul receives a letter from Christine, assuring him that she has not forgotten the “little boy who fetched her scarf from the sea”, and informing him that she will be going to Perros-Guirec to visit her father’s grave on the anniversary of his death. Perros-Guirec is a seaside village in Brittany, quite far from Paris.

Raoul doesn’t lose time and rushes to the Montparnasse station to follow her, but fails to catch the morning train and has to wait all day for the night train (Raoul tends to have a bit of bad luck following him around).

This chapter also gives us a short biography of Christine Daaé. In the novel - contrary to the musical - she is described as blonde and blue-eyed, slender and somewhat short-sighted, which would presumably give her a bit of a dreamy, unfocused expression if nobody hands her a pair of glasses (I guess Erik wouldn’t mind her short-sightedness either!). She was born in the village of Skotelof near Uppsala in Sweden. Her father (who does not have a name in the novel) sang in the church choir and taught Christine to read music before she could read books. He also had a well-known reputation as the best violinist in Scandinavia, and was often requested to play at social gatherings. Christine’s mother died when she was 6 years old, and her father became a travelling musician and took Christine around the country. They were discovered by Professor Valerius and taken to Götheburg, where Christine received her training. His wife, Mama Valerius, treated Christine like a daughter. When the Valerius family moved to France, Christine and her father accompanied them. Papa Daaé did not adjust well to life in Paris though, and often found solace in his music only, locking himself in his room for hours at a time. The only time of the year he enjoyed was their yearly trip to the seaside town of Perros-Guirec, because the ocean reminded him of his native Sweden. Missing his nomadic lifestyle, he decided to once again to spend some time every year as a travelling musician with Christine - which is how Christine came to meet Raoul, who was then staying with his aunt - the one that kindled his love for the sea. Raoul heard Christine sing and was so utterly captivated by her angel’s voice that he started following her around with his governess. One day, at the bay of Trestraou, the wind was so strong that it blew Christine’s scarf into the sea, and Raoul ran after it fully clothed and rescued it. They became friends that summer and played together often, and Christine’s father also gave him some violin lessons.

Bay of Trestraou, where Raoul rescued Christine’s scarf from the sea (image from france-voyage.com)

Both Raoul and Christine loved listening to ancient tales and legends, especially the ones that Papa Daaé told them. Among those stories is the famous “Little Lotte”, who loved listening to the Angel of Music while she fell asleep. It’s a little funny that while they listen to the story, all Raoul does is look at Christine’s golden hair and blue eyes, imagining her as “Little Lotte”, and Christine’s thoughts are focused on how lucky Little Lotte was to hear the Angel of Music. So Raoul dreams about Christine while Christine dreams about the Angel of Music, which kind of foreshadows the setup of the love triangle in the novel.

To be honest, I can’t really blame Christine for thinking she was indeed hearing the Angel of Music in her dressing-room, since the description given fits Erik perfectly:

“No one ever saw him, but he made himself heard to those predestined to hear him. It often happened when they least expected it, when they were sad and disheartened. Then they suddenly heard heavenly harmonies and a divine voice, and they would remember it all their lives. People visited by the angel were left with a kind of flame burning inside them.”

I guess her father couldn’t really find the Angel of Music in heaven, so he sent her the next best thing that was available… Erik might not have been a heavenly angel, but the effect he had on her amounted to the same that is attributed to the Angel of Music in her father’s stories.

After their parting following the first summer that they spent together, Christine and Raoul saw each other again three years later, when they were “no longer children” - perhaps 13 to 14 years old, which would put their first meeting at about age 10 to 11. Professor Valerius has died in the meantime, and Christine’s father has started suffering from a cough. Raoul and Christine’s meeting is a little awkward this time - both seem to be developing tender feelings for each other, but are also very reserved. Their current relationship has now outgrown the sweet and carefree friendship of childhood. Raoul is quite infatuated with her, but he is also badly affected by his jealousy plus the unresolved issue of a peasant girl like Christine not being a suitable choice as a wife for a Viscount - and Christine being acutely aware of that. So yes - it’s complicated between those two. Afterwards, she tries to forget him and dedicate herself to her career instead. But when her father finally dies, her soul and her voice die with him, and even though her talent is still enough to gain entry into the Paris Conservatory, she cannot not bring any more enthusiasm to her studies, and just goes through the motions to please Mama Valerius.

Christine apparently travelled to Perros by herself, staying at the “Auberge du Soleil Couchant”. Raoul is looking forward to speaking to her alone without interference. Despite having sailed around the world, Leroux describes Raoul as “pure as a virgin” and overwhelmed by his love for Christine, who occupies his every thought - in fact, Raoul seems to obsess over things a lot in the novel, not just about Christine. When he finally meets her as she returns from mass, he jumps straight to the point and tells her that he loves her and cannot live without her - which is unfortunately not “what she wanted to hear”. Their conversation goes totally wrong and as his jealous temper gets the better of him, he behaves terribly and they get into a fight (over Erik, of course) to the point where she runs off and locks herself in her room.

Raoul, saddened by the way his meeting with Christine turned out, wanders off towards the graveyard to pray for Christine’s father, and finally sits down, looking out over the moor where he and Christine used to look for goblins when they were children. He never saw any, while Christine always saw lots despite her lack of proper eyesight - which shows that despite both of them being described as “dreamy”, Christine’s imagination is a lot more lively than Raoul’s. She finally comes out to make another try of confiding the secret of the Angel of Music who speaks to her to Raoul, but when she feels he doesn’t take her seriously and questions her virtue, she storms off again, truly angry this time and refusing to come down for dinner.

At night, about 11:30 pm, she finally sneaks out to visit her father’s grave at the Perros graveyard and meet the “Angel of Music” (aka Erik) there. This is obviously the scene which inspired “Wishing you were somehow here again”, though the original context is a little bit different. Raoul climbs out the window and follows her to the graveyard. Raoul’s account of the graveyard scene is given via a transcript of Raoul’s testimony to Commissary Mifroid a few weeks later, after Christine’s abduction. The use of this “source” is one of the things that have given rise to the theory that this is a “detective novel”, however Leroux uses it more like a historian would use a source - it’s just one of different documents that he uses (or claims to use) to prove that his story is indeed true.

Christine doesn’t notice Raoul following her. Her rendez-vous with the Angel of Music is supposedly taking place at exactly midnight at her father’s grave, so Christine is in a bit of a hurry to get there in time. It is still winter, so the graves are covered in snow and lit by the clear moonlight. Christine, who apparently has nerves of steel since she has no qualms about going to graveyards at midnight and then sitting down calmly next to a pile of actual skulls and bones, kneels down to pray when divinely beautiful violin music is suddenly heard, but no player is seen anywhere. The sounds of the piece,  the “Resurrection of Lazarus” are so enthralling that Raoul himself is reminded of the legend of the Angel of Music.

When the music finally ceases, Raoul hears a sound from the pile of bones, and assumes that the invisible musician might be hiding there. Christine leaves, and suddenly the skulls start rolling towards Raoul, and he sees a shadow enter the church. He chases after him and manages to grab his cloak, and when the shadow turns around, he sees a terrifying death’s-head with burning eyes which shocks him so much that he faints. I assume that Erik was not wearing a mask here, and that his unmasked face was weapon enough to take Raoul out without any further need for fireballs or swordfights.

The next morning, Raoul is found half-frozen in the little church, and Christine and the landlady of the Inn both take care to revive him.

Historic images of Perros-Guirec from phantomstheater.weebly.com

Artwork by CoatNTails on deviantart

Next Chapter >>

[juuls]

This was a comment left on chapter 11 of my fem!Tony Stuckony time travel/soulmate fic, Hanging From a Cross of Iron, and I just wanted to put a couple things out there.

First of all, I’m not mad. We’ll make that clear. I’ve received variations of this comment before and it’s rather on the mark. But sometimes both sides can be correct in how they interpret a piece of fiction, and I wanted to show that.

So… yeah. This is something I get every so often on this fic, especially around this chapter (10-12ish) and I just… really wanted to post my reply to it, if for nothing other than explaining the way my brain works and WHY I hate Captain America: Civil War so much for ruining so many good things in fandom.

I’m not putting this out there for sympathy or agreement or to start a fight or stupid shit. It’s more like a… “I’m tired of explaining myself, let me post something I feel is a semi-eloquent response to someone who was at least mostly respectful and got some things right, who I know does represent a fair portion of people who may be interested in reading this fic,” which I could then just point/link to the next time I wake up to things making me sad in my inbox on top of me being sad and feeling guilty at not having written for a while.

Stupid covid. Stupid life being dumb and depressing and draining energy and happiness from many. Just you wait. I’ll be back soon with Codega and this fic, Cross.

But here. This is my reply to the above comment:

So I don’t normally reply to critique such as this because this IS fanfiction, but you are at least part right: it IS supposed to be unfair.

This is me working out my issues with Civil War, because boy that sure as fuck pissed me off. I love Stuckony, but after CACW it was really hard to reconcile that love anymore. So this was my way to do that, and I 100% wanted to bring in the unfairness, the distrust, the favouritism, the… meanness that I saw and felt after that.

It’s also a way for me to work through my issues at the injustices I suffered at the hands of my ex-husband—I started writing this shortly after packing my bags and leaving.

I wanted a slow, somewhat realistic, non-fairytale path to even partial redemption, shared pain and circumstances and experiences, and to show that things CAN work out as long as certain lines are not crossed. I skirt the line sometimes, definitely on purpose, but that’s for ME.

I wanted to turn the tables: Steve (and Bucky) were out of their time and comfort zone in the future—Toni, in turn, needed to be out of her time and comfort zone in the past.

Plus, can you imagine a soulmate world where you’ve had a partner and you think “this is it”? Then bam! Suddenly someone’s suddenly thrust into your life.

And I wanted to play on every single issue Toni would have experienced with her family, friends, “friends”, enemies, Obie, her company, the world, etc., post-IM2.

None of them have had an easy go of it and war is goddamn hell. They ALL have PTSD. (But also, lol, the Howlies start laying into Stucky about what you’re getting mad about here too, so I’m way ahead of you!)

From the beginning, this was as much a psychological setting as a romantic one: way more so in the beginning. But it slowly crawls its way out of the murk. I wanted a soulmate story where it wasn’t all sunshine and roses. I wanted a story where they had to fight for it… or where they had a choice, shitty as it may be (they’ll NEVER choose not to have Toni, that was never going to happen). I wanted something… realistic, even amidst super soldiers, super tech, an almost unbelievable war, and soulmates existing.

I wanted it to be a fight. I wanted rejection… then them, ALL of them, to choose each other despite that, despite their past, and despite fate.

That is my goal with this fic. And since I take my own sweet time, that’s really not readily apparent so soon in this fic, even at chapter 11.

The love will be there. The unconditional love, the equal triadic love. Not just Stucky plus Toni. Because believe me, Stucky is probably one of my least favourite ships that include some of my favourite characters. Sounds ridiculous since I write them here, but as a historian I wanted to take that, take some realism, with a dash of ridiculous and hurt and pain and anger, and see what I could do with that.

The entire reason this story exists is because of a scene idea I had that doesn’t come about until the future in the 20s chapters. Leaning on each other and trusting each other because one of them was lost. Well, technically, that happens twice.

But the point is: this is a long as fuck story towards a love they have to (and WANT to, eventually) fight tor.

This fic is for me. It’s for people like me. It’s for people who don’t want an easy love story. It’s absolutely okay that you don’t like it! There are SO many fics that I dislike for a variety of reasons, and I simply close it, mark it as Did Not Finish, and don’t return. I recognize not every fic is for me.

This one’s for me. I may have sort of stalled out where I’m at in the 20s chapters, but it’s left at a pretty good place, and I’m looking forward to this dumb pandemic so I can get back to forging this love between these three idiots, as well as pick up an old Star Wars story I left 4+ years ago due to the abuse at the hands of my ex. But I’m ready to return to it now. Well, after the world calms down a little.

It’s okay if you’re done with this story—that is 100% your choice and I will never begrudge you that. I’m glad you gave it a try though! If you’re interested, you could skip ahead and see how the dynamics have changed, or I could give you clips and examples too.

My one wish (though I understand it completely) is that you had not done this on Anon. For a few reasons:

1, I would never hold this opinion against you, especially because you got tons of it right! Go you!

2, I’d love to understand you better and discuss this with you. No recriminations whatsoever.

3, But I do wonder who of those who have read my other writings left me this message. It makes me a little sad, and I will wonder which of the people I talk to have this negative opinion of me now, but that’s also my own past issues rearing their ugly heads. You have every right to remain on Anon, though it’s not so nice when you wake from a nice dream and discover anon ‘dislike’ in your inbox on a work you slaved away on, and that the dislike is specifically about the things you wrote about deliberately, hah. Sorta funny, actually, so I’ll let that one go. xD

Thank you, though, even if I disliked reading this words: it helps me to look at my own work critically and to better understand how to frame and write things going forward.

Not every fic is for everyone, and that’s okay. I’ve encountered mine, you’ve encountered yours, but I think we’ve both learned from this interaction.

Whoever you may be, even if you divulge your handle to me, my respect for you wouldn’t diminish. It’s good to have healthy discussions and to look critically upon your own work—even if I am a sensitive bean and it hurts a little, I’m fine. :P

I think the lesson to be learned here is: fuck everything after CACW!!!! Grrrrr xD

Take care,

Juuls

P.S. I may post parts of this on my Tumblr because I do occasionally encounter similar complaints about this story, and I think maybe this is the most coherent and respectful enough comment-reply response I’ve had on this topic. Thank you.

P.P.S. Happy to talk privately too!

P.P.P.S. And the offer still stands for some lovely clips from future chapters, especially if you’re not considering continuing reading this story anymore; it’ll at least show what I’m talking about and what I’ve been working tirelessly towards. It’s hard—fucking hard—work to get past CACW and still like these characters together (my fic Paper Boats is probably one of my bigger testaments to that, oof) and I admit it’s still really really hard and I struggle with it. Covid isn’t the only reason I’ve sort of stalled out on that. But that’s more because I’m like “now what?” than not seeing any love between these three.

It’s a long journey. I knew it was going to be. But I like a challenge. :)

Take care, be well, stay safe, to you and all of yours.

And may you find many fics you love!

[depressedhatakekakashi]

The u know whos have been harassing me all day can i please request some more HC for both your knight and skill reversal AUs regarding how kakagai reationship grows to forget about them? Thank you mun 🤍

Why are they harrassing you? Who do I have to fight? i will fight them all omg. LEAVE THIS POOR PERSON ALONE YOU JERKS.

Royalty Au

Kakashi and Gai have known each other since childhood. It’s an outcome of Kakashi’s father, Sakumo, being the royal guard to King Dai. That plus Sakumo being an only father since his wife's death, and he finds himself having to have Kakashi by his side a lot growing up. He could get someone to take care of his son, but Kakashi keeps running them into the ground and scaring them off.

Thankfully, the king is very understanding and loves that his son has someone else to play with.  Most people who interact with Gai treat him like a porceline. Like they have to be super careful around him or he might shatter. Kakashi doesn’t do that. He respects Gai of course. Calls him ‘your highness’ and always bows when they greet each other or say goodbye, but otherwise, he considers Gai his friend. They run around the garden together, learn together, play together. Everything that Gai does, Kakashi does with him. Sometimes Kakashi will even be able to help Gai with his learning, being a quick learner himself who can explain things better for Gai than his tutor.

As they grow up, they continue to hang out. Even when Kakashi starts to train under Lady Kushina as a page at the age of 7, Kakashi will often use his time off from training to spend with Gai.

Gai is the first person Kakashi ever tells of his dream to become a great knight. Not just like his father, but even better. He wants to prove that he’s talented and smart and that he can protect the Kingdom and the Prince from anything and anyone. Gai feels a little sad that day, even though he loves the excitement in Kakashi’s voice when he hears about his dream. But knowing that Kakashi is going to put himself into a job that could get him killed young, all to try to prove himself. that hurts Gai’s heart.

When Kakashi is promoted to Squire at the age of 11, it’s a huge celebration. People are amazed by this kid's progress. the standard age for becoming a squire is 15, and Kakashi’s already well on his way to becoming the youngest knight in history. Even with his extra duties though, he makes sure to always visit Gai in the garden at least twice a week. They still have race’s around the place, and sometimes Kakashi will show Gai how to sword fight. Gai does get lessons from a tutor of course, but he finds that he learns easier from Kakashi. Kakashi just has a way of talking to him that helps him understand quicker. Plus Kakashi always lets him make things into a competition, which helps a lot with getting him pumped and ready to learn. 

When Kakashi is knighted at the age of 16, Gai’s not sure how to feel. He’s excited for his old friend of course. This was part of Kakashi’s dream. He’s already making a name for himself separate from his father. But at the same time, Gai’s terrified that this means he won’t have any time with Kakashi anymore. Kakashi will be too busy to visit him, and he’ll be alone with no one to hang out with but the people who treat him like porcelain.

Of course, Dai won’t have that. Kakashi is immediately made Gai’s royal guard. Partially to keep him out of the field where he might find nothing but a young death, and partially to keep Kakashi and Gai close. He knows how important the two are to each other already, and he refuses to be the one to tear them away from each other.

When it comes to marriage at the age of 20, Gai is not excited. He can’t think of anyone he wants to marry, and he always finds problems with the people that he is presented with. Genma is too pessemistic, Obito is too... well, Obito. Him and Kisame just want to rip each others throats out most of the time, and while he gets along fine with Rin the two of them both agree they’d prefer to be friends.

It’s not until someone mentions to Kakashi that he should also be looking to settle down that Gai realizes why he can’t choose a marriage partner.

He doesn’t want anyone else. He wants to be with Kakashi. To have Kakashi by his side, not just as his knight, but as his partner. 

He knows it’s not conventional. Most people marry royalty from other lands to strengthen treaties or secure partnerships. But his father never married. He found other ways to do those things, so surely Gai can too. Right?

He’s afraid to bring it up to his father. Terrified that he’ll be rejected. But when he finally does, Dai just laughs and tells his son that it’s about time. That he just needed to tell him what it was he wanted, and he would make it happen for him.

Gai and Kakashi don’t get married right away. Neither of them is in a rush.

But when they do it’s a big event, and Kakashi is not pleased about this fact.

Both of their fathers are standing by their side, proud that their sons have found each other and can be together. That they know who’s side they belong at. Kakashi can’t imagine Anyone else protecting Gai, and Gai wouldn’t have anyone else standing beside him as his husband or as his royal guard.

Kakashi’s position does not change at all. There are people of course who are adamant that the King's husband cannot be his royal guard. that the position is too dangerous. 

But Dai knows that neither of the boys are going to let anyone else take Kakashi’s position, and he’s alright with that. Kakashi has always been the one to protect Gai, and he always will be. 

Skill Swap Au

Kakashi and Gai still meet outside of the academy, but it’s Kakashi who has been turned away. Denied entry because of his lack of skill in Ninjitsu or Genjutsu. Gai feels bad for the other boy. He looks so sad standing there by his father's side, the White fangs side, knowing that he can’t get into the academy because he has been deemed ‘not good enough

Seeing something in Kakashi that no one else did, Gai decides to challenge him to a spar. It takes a few attempts, and Kakashi gets annoyed really easily at his challenges and tries to remind him that he’s just going to lose to ‘the genius’, but finally Kakashi caves.

And Kakashi loses, badly. But when he crawls to his feet and stuffs his hands into his pockets determined to leave, Gai stops him and tells him that they should spare again.

And he doesn’t stop challenging Kakashi. No matter how many times Kakashi wants to give up. No matter how often the two of them hear that Gai’s ‘wasting his time with a failure’. Gai never gives up on Kakashi.

He knows what Kakashi could be capable of. He has seen his own father train her to be strong, and he has seen Kakashi training on his own. Kakashi is not a quitter. He works his butt off and always comes home bruised and tired from his efforts. Gai knows if they just keep at it, that Kakashi can become strong.

Ultimately, with Gai’s help and a lot of perseverance, Kakashi finally makes it into the academy. It’s a moment of celebration for them both and Gai can’t stop congratulating Kakashi.

Halfway through the year, Sakumo’s mission goes terribly wrong, and suddenly ‘the white fang’ is a name no longer spoken with pride. It’s a name that people spit venom at. And that loss in pride hits Kakashi hard. After Sakumo’s death, Kakashi disappears from the academy.

Gai’s terrified that Kakashi has given up. That he’s just going to let those hateful people’s words win and stop trying to become a great shinobi.

He’s wrong. Oh so wrong. Kakashi’s more determined than ever to prove himself. to show the village that he can be a great Ninja no matter what they say. Every day from dawn to dusk Kakashi trains endlessly. Pushing himself to near collapse just to get stronger. 

It’s at this point, after finding Kakashi unconscious in a field after a long day of training, that Dai decides to show him the eight gates.

Having Kakashi around the house a lot more is pretty weird, but Gai also really enjoys it. Kakashi’s not always the friendliest person, but he’s always helping out around the house with chores. 

Gai graduated from the academy at the age of five, setting the record for the youngest shinobi to become a genin ever. Choza Sensei decides when he’s six to have him compete in the chunin exams, and he is promoted before any of his classmates even make genin.

Kakashi graduated at the age of seven, which is still really impressive given the fact that people have always said he would never amount to anything. 

Gai gets placed on team choza with Ebisu and Genma, while Kakashi gets placed on Team Minato with Obito and Rin. Kakashi’s still very ‘by the rules’ because of his father, but rather than fighting with Obito over who’s stronger, Kakashi and Obito get along a bit better.

By the time they’re 11, Kakashi has actually managed to beat Gai in a fight. It’s no surprise to Gai when he becomes a chunin along with the others, even as Gai is promoted to Jonin ahead of them. 

Team Minato still gets the Kannabi bridge mission, but they’re given another Jonin to lead the mission while Minato takes care of his part of it. When Rin is kidnapped, Obito convinces Kakashi to go with him to get her even though they’re going directly against Jonin’s orders. 

Kakashi still loses his eye protecting Obito, Obito still awakens his sharing, and then Obito ‘dies’ saving Kakashi from being crushed by a bolder.

Kakashi is blamed for the mission going wrong when they get back to Konoha, but instead of allowing it to eat at him, he decides to keep training. To become stronger and show the village that he’s not the failure they think he is.

Gai is determined to help him in this mission and starts making their competitions into training sessions together. 

Whenever someone gets rude with Kakashi or blames him for Obito’s death, they usually find themselves meeting the end of Gai’s foot. Kakashi may not be willing to stand up to them, but Gai is more than happy to do it for them.

Rin doesn’t die in this au because of Kakashi. Instead, recognizing that she has no other way out, she uses Kakashi’s distraction while fighting the enemy shinobi to take her own life. 

Obito’s still mad at Kakashi for not being able to save her, and Kakashi still see’s her blood on his hands in his nightmares. But that’s because he actually held her body while she bled out. 

Recognizing his student’s strength and hurt, Minato decides to shove Kakashi into Anbu. Something that’s frowned upon by many until Kakashi starts going out onto missions. They’re surprised by his sheer strength and ability in the field. 

When Minato dies against the Kyuubi, Kakashi sinks deeper into depression and tries to push everyone away, including Gai.

Of course, Gai doesn’t allow this. He refuses to let Kakashi suffer alone and always tries to keep up with their competition and spars.

When he realizes just how bad Anbu is affecting Kakashi’s mental health, Gai decides to try and join so that he can be with him. But he’s turned away because of his personality (just like in Canon)

So instead, he decides to get Kakashi out.

Kakashi’s not too happy to be made a join sensei after being shoved out of Anbu, but he takes it as punishment for not being able to help Itachi avoid the massacre route that he chose to take (in Kakashi’s eye since he doesn’t know the truth at this point)

Over the years, Kakashi has grown a lot as a shinobi. Even Itachi was surprised to see just how strong Kakashi was with just Taijutsu and did a lot of training with him to improve his own Taijutsu. 

Come the Chunin exams with Team seven and Team Gai, Neji, Lee, and Tenten are unsurprised to find that Team Seven is extremely skilled in Taijutsu. Kakashi has taught them well, and these three are ready to take names and kick butt. 

Sasuke still loses in his fight against Lee, but Lee’s proud to say that he was taught Taijutsu from their sensei (taught first by Gai, and then improved upon by Kakashi) and that they’re surely going to get stronger with more time under him.

The month that Kakashi spends training up Sasuke’s taijutsu is possibly the worst month of Sasuke’s life. He’s introduced to Kakashi’s personal training methods and it is not fun. Not one bit. 

And after the chunin exams, while the village is trying to repair itself from the Konoha crush and settle into some sense of nromality, Itachi and Kisame show up. This time, it’s Gai who faces down Itachi and ends up in a 72 hour genjutsu. Itachi knows better than to allow the genius time to come up with a plan. But then just as Kisame is about to swoop in and finish Gai, Kakashi shows up and kicks him away. A genius and the best taijutsu master of Konoha? Itachi is out. This is not worth the hassle. 

Sasuke finds out about Itachi's appearance in the village while Kakashi, Kurenai and Asuma are watching over Gai while he's resting from Itachi's attack. Kakashi of course goes after his student

Kakashi also gets to the the 'dynamic entry' against Jiraiya, kicking him in the face and away from his students. He recognizes Jiraiya of course, but damn he'd be lying if he said that didn't feel good.

[nadisabug]

Zuko’s Story

Summary: Y/n is a fan of tea, but she's an even bigger fan of the cute boy who sells it at the Jasmine Dragon. Prompts: 1. “I think I’m falling in love with you, and it scares me.” 4. “I’ve always been in love with you, since the beginning.” 11. “You look beautiful.” 23. "I really like having you around." Fandom: ATLA Pairing: Zuko x reader Warnings: none A/N: This is for @fromthewatertribe‘s 1k event! This was an idea I had before but saw your prompts and knew it would fit perfectly!

I slowly sipped on my tea, eyeing the cute server. I had been gawking at him for who knows how long, but I knew he wouldn't notice. He never noticed.

I knew his name was Lee by hearing it around the shop. I had been coming every single day for the past three weeks during my little brother Cam's bending lessons. I wasn't a bender, but he was, and I was determined for him to learn. Ever since our father had been taken away for bending when the fire nation raided our village, I knew he had to learn. I ran away with him the day I learned he could bend, refusing to let them take him too. As a result, we ended up as refugees in the last safe place there was, Ba Sing Se. And, even though money was so unbearably tight, I insisted that he go to regular lessons to learn how to bend. I was not going to let his talent be wasted.

"Would you like more tea?" I was startled out of my thoughts my a low voice beside me. I looked up quickly and had to fight back a blush. Of course it was Lee.

"No thanks, handsome," I blatantly flirted with him like usual and pressed a coin into his palm. He blinked a couple times before closing his hand around the coin. I got up and left him at the table, exiting the shop. It was about time I picked up Cam anyways.

I began to walk in the general direction of Cam's lessons. I didn't make it far, though. After a few minutes of walking, I was roughly pulled into an alley. I tried to scream, but a hand muffled my attempts. I twisted and thrashed, but my assailant had caught me well off guard so there was not much I could do to free myself. So, I stopped trying to free myself. I decided to wait until I saw an opening and take it. I had a whole plan in motion but it was shattered when I saw who had grabbed me.

"Lee?" I mumbled through his hand. I scrunched my eyebrows together and relaxed in his hold. It was only then that I processed how close we were. He had my wrists clasped behind my back, the rest of his arm pressing his body to mine. He was half a head taller then me, so he was looming over me.

"How to you know my name?" He rasped angrily. He lowered his hand from my mouth, which I appreciated, but when he brought it back he was holding a knife. I guess I preferred being muffled. He held the blade to my throat as a threat.

Well, I guess he finally noticed my staring.

"I heard it around the shop," I answered truthfully. To be honest, I was scared out of my mind. But, I was also a little bit turned on. This guy was really hot and the tough guy act sure wasn't helping my heartbeat. He was a lot cuter up close, I thought, then cursed at myself. That's what I was thinking about when I had a knife to my throat? However, for some reason, I didn't feel like he would hurt me. Be it the result of my crush or intuition, I just couldn't bring myself to be scared.

"Why do you stare at me all the time? What do you know? Do you know who I am?" He paused for a millisecond. "Answer me!" He shouted.

I opened and closed my mouth, I was sure I looked like a koi. "I, uh, don't know how to answer that," I replied carefully. "But I have no idea who you are or anything else pertaining to you for that matter."

"Then why are you always in the shop? And why do you always stare at me?" He asked the same question again and I knew I would have to give him a response. He wasn't going to let this one go.

"I like tea?" I said meekly. He gave me a hard stare in response. I sighed in defeat and slumped a little bit. I broke eye contact and looked off to the side to make sure no one was coming. It would be hard for Lee to explain his way out of that one. "Can you let me go at least?" I finally sighed. "I am not going to hurt you, you are the one with the knife."

Lee frowned but nodded and let me go. I shook out my arms, slightly numb from the awkward angle, and sighed in relief.

"Now tell me," Lee began, raising his knife to my throat again. "What business do you have with me?"

I rolled my eyes and pushed the knife away, no longer really scared. If Lee was a bad guy, he never would have let me go. "None? Listen if you want the truth, here it is. I think you're cute so I like going to the shop and watching you work. Nothing malicious."

"Oh," he said softly, lowering his knife.

"I am really sorry for staring at you all the time, I'll stop coming if that's what you want-well of course it's what you want of course you don't want some freak staring-"

"No." Thankfully, Lee cut off my rambling. "I, uh, well... I don't mind, well it's not that I don't mind but I really like having you around the shop."

"Oh," I breathed, a flush rising to my cheeks.

"Yeah," he muttered quietly and looked away. He reached up and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly and quickly added, "You bring the tea shop a lot of business!"

"Oh," I said again, this time less excited. "Yeah I guess so," I muttered dejectedly.

"Well that's not it," Lee quickly followed up. "I mean I like your presence in the tea shop, you're really nice and tip well and ugh that's not what I mean I am just going to stop talking."

"I think that would be for the best," I chuckled. Then I looked at him again. He was so unbearably cute and I was sure I would never get another opportunity like this again, so I decided to go for it. "Look, I think you're really cute. Want to go out sometime?"

"Uh, I just held a knife to your throat," he responded dumbly. I rolled my eyes.

"Yes, now. Date?"

"He would love to!" A voice shouted from the opening of the alley. The old man who ran the tea shop, Iroh, walked towards us.

"Uncle!" Lee called indignantly. "Why are you here?"

"I was worried when you left so abruptly and good thing I came because you almost would have messed up this date with this lovely girl," Iroh shot me a wink.

"How long were you there?" Lee asked, a flush of embarrassment rising to his cheeks.

"Long enough," he quickly responded. "How about tonight at sundown in front of the shop," Iroh asked me.

"Sure," I nodded. "He's gotta make up for this whole endeavor somehow," I smirked and shot Lee a look. With that, I waved goodbye to the two guys and headed off to pick up Cam. This wasn't such a bad day afterall. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Okay Cam, I want you right in bed at sundown, you hear me? No waiting up for me."

"Why, you planning to be out late with your boyfriend?" Cam shot back all too happily. 

"No, because you have your lesson at sunrise," I said quickly, making sure I had everything I needed. Would Lee pay? I wasn't sure but I brought my purse just in case. "I worked hard to get us to the middle ring so that you could have a proper teacher and I will not have you being late!"

I felt Cam roll his eyes and sigh at me. "Yes, mom," he groaned. "At least tell me his name."

I turned to Cam, pursing my lips. I had tried to keep this whole date a secret from him, but having a nosy 12 year old in the house wasn't conducive to secrets. He had found out shortly after I picked him up, asking why I was late and accusing me of being out with a boy. When I flushed and stammered in response, he jumped on the opportunity. That was his go to accusation, it just so happened that this time he was right. Not in the way he thought, of course, but partially I suppose. I mean I did ask Lee out on a date. 

I thought for a moment, then figured Cam would find out at some point who it was, especially if we went on more dates. I tried not to get my hopes up at the thought. 

"It's Lee."

Cam gasped dramatically. "From the tea shop?"

"Yes from the tea shop," I huffed and spun on my heel. I walked over to a mirror hanging on the wall and checked my makeup one more time. I needed to leave soon if I was going to make it on time. 

"To imagine, a love blooming from malicious stalkering-"

"I keep thinking you cannot get more stupid and then you prove me wrong every single time," I sighed. 

Cam gasped dramatically again. "Wounded, by my own sister!" He cried. "Besides, am I wrong that you stalk him? I bet what happened was he confronted you about your stalker-ering and you were all like 'I've always been in love with you, since the beginning of time-'"

"Oh hush." I turned towards the door so that he couldn't see my blush. I mean, he wasn't that wrong. Lee did confront me about the stalk- watching of him, and I did confess in a way. "I am leaving now. When will you be in bed?"

"By sundown," Cam responded in a high pitched voice, obviously mocking me. 

"Okay, bye. Be good," I said as a final goodbye and left. 

My walk to the Jasmine Dragon was uneventful at best. Once I got there, I saw Lee outside. He was wearing a nice suit, his hair parted in the middle and slicked to each side. I whistled as I approached. 

"Nice 'do, hot stuff," I grinned. He turned to face me, and unless I was mistaken, a blush rose to his cheeks. 

"You look beautiful," he blurted, then flushed a bright red that I knew I wasn't imagining. 

I was caught off guard by his blatant confession, and I felt a heat creep up my neck. "Uh, thank you. You don't look to bad yourself, though I do think I like your hair all messy better." 

"Oh." Zuko reached up and ruffled it, messing it all up. "Like that," he smiled. 

"Like that."

"It took my uncle ten minutes to do my hair," he commented. 

"Well it took you a few seconds to mess it up, now come on, let's go. I know a great restaurant that's super cheap but super good," I said and grabbed his hand, tugging him after me. 

Eating was awkward if anything. Lee wasn't the biggest conversationalist, not wanting to talk about anything about himself, and the food was mediocre at best. It was cheap, though.

"Let's split the bill," I said when we were done eating. Lee opened his mouth to argue, but I stopped him. "I picked the place so it is partially my fault the food was so bad."

"I didn't know you were in the kitchen," Lee smirked. 

"You don't know a lot of things about me," I grinned cheekily. At that, Lee's face darkened. He was hiding something big, I knew it. It was probably something about his past, seeing as he was so guarded about it. 

"Come on," I said, breaking the tense silence. "Let's get out of here." 

The waiter arrived and we paid our check. Luckily, they gave us two cups of tea to go. I took mine and Lee took his and we were on our way. 

"Ugh," I groaned, sipping my tea. "This is disgusting, its so cold."

"Here," Lee reached out and took it from me. He held onto it for a second then handed it back. Miraculously, it was hot when he handed it back. 

"What the..." Then it hit me. The only way he could have done that was if he was a firebender. I looked up at him in surprise, ready to make a run for it, but then I took another look at him. It wasn't like a Earth bender gave him that scar, and he was here for a reason, probably to start over. That's why he was so defensive about who he was when he questioned me earlier today. So I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. He hadn't hurt me yet, and he didn't hurt me when we thought we were alone in that alley, so I doubted that he'd hurt me now. 

"Thanks," I finally decided on with a smile. I let him walk me back to my place, knowing Cam was probably still awake. When we reached my door, I turned to him. "Thank you for taking me out."

"Thank you for uh, not getting mad I held a knife to your throat," he replied, shyly rubbing the back of his neck. 

"Well, I don't know if I'm still over that," I said with a small smirk. "I might need another date to see if I forgive you."

Lee's eyes darkened. "I don't know if I can do this-"

"Oh come on," I sighed. "I liked spending time with you, I hope you liked spending time with me. It's not like we're going to get married, just hang out a bit more. Come on, one more date and that's it."

Lee sighed. "One more date. And that's it."

"And that's it." I agreed with finality.

After that, we started going out on dates every few days. We went to festivals together, tried out new restaurants, and even went out on picnics. It was on one of those picnics that I finally decided to confess to him. We were up on a hill under the shade of a great tree, looking out over the sprawling city. We had lapsed into silence. 

"I need to tell you something-" We both said at the same time. We both flushed and turned away. 

"You first," I said. 

"No you." I stayed silent, staring at Lee expectantly until he sighed and caved. "Fine. I think... Well look. There's still so much you don't know about me. I've done some pretty horrible things in my past."

"I think people can change," I asserted.

Lee shook his head. "Terrible, horrible things. Things no one should ever dream of doing. But I did them. I thought that I had lost my honor and that somehow my father could restore it to me... but now... now I am not so sure." He turned to me and grabbed my hands. "Ever since I met you I've felt like I was an impostor, a fake pretending to be someone I wasn't. Now I think this is me." He sighed and closed his eyes. "What I'm trying to say it that I think I'm falling in love with you and it scares me."

I leaned up and moved to kiss him, but he pulled away. "Why?" I said, hurt in my voice. 

Lee grasped both of my cheeks and pulled our foreheads together. "Listen, I have to do something before we can be together. I need to make up for my mistakes. I got a message last night inviting my uncle and I to serve tea to the King. I think it's a trap. The Avatar is in the city which means my sister is not far behind."

"Your sister... Who are you?" My voice was barely over a whisper, I was surprised it didn't get lost in the wind. 

"I am Zuko, Crown Prince of the Fire Nation."

I paused, my head reeling. I knew he was a firebender but the prince? The prince of the Fire Nation? It was a lot to take in. Luckily he gave me my time and waited patiently for my next question. "And you think its a trap but you're still going to go?" I asked in bewilderment. 

"Yes. I need to stop running away from my destiny. You helped me realize that I'm not bad, I can be good."

"What is your destiny?" I asked breathlessly. 

"To teach the Avatar firebending."

I pulled my head away from his so that I could get a good look at him. "Then go. And don't you dare not think about coming back for me."

"I will." Lee- no, Zuko looked like he was hesitating, then he pulled me into ferocious kiss, stealing my breath away from me. When we separated,  we placed our foreheads together, gasping for air, our breaths intermingling. 

"You have no idea how long I have been waiting to do that," I gasped, but smiled. 

"I feel the same," Zuko smiled too. "Now come on, let's go."

With that, he walked me home and then walked right out of my life, leaving me to wonder if I would ever see him again. 

[didsomeonesaydaddydraco]

Secrets | d.m imagine

Hermione and I are on our way to the Great Hall to have breakfast with Ron and Harry. We accidentally overslept this morning because we were up late last night studying for our upcoming DADA test. She tries to hide her yawing, but I can tell by the dark circles under her eyes, that she is as tired as I am.

- You know what I don’t understand? – She looks at me confused – How on Merlin were you sorted into Gryffindor with that attitude of yours? Don’t get me wrong, you know I love you, you’re my best friend, but the amount of sass you have and how determined you can get, you’d be better off at Slytherin, but you still ended up at Gryffindor.

I freeze for a second, memories flashing right before my eyes from a couple of years ago.

*4 years ago*

I’m aimlessly wandering around the caste with my fellow schoolmates around me. A bunch of 11 years old, who are very much eager to start their school year at the famous Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The endless corridors amaze us, and the living pictures scare most of us as they welcome the new students with a few nice words. We’re waiting by a huge old wooden door for Professor McGonogall to let us in so we can be sorted into our Houses. I know a lot about this School. My brother was a student here, along with my parents, their parents and basically my whole family.

- Follow me, please – an elder student comes up to us to lead the way. We’re called to a chair and the Sorting Hat is placed on our heads. For some student he doesn’t have to think much which House he should put them, but for a boy, named Harry Potter, he thinks a lot. It looks like he cannot make a decision, but suddenly he yells out Gryffindor.

- Next is, Miss Y/F/N – as Professor McGonogall calls my name, my knees start to shake, and my palms get sweaty. Without any shown emotion, I sit on the stall, my legs not being long enough to reach the ground. My breathing is getting heavier second by second as the Hat is getting put on me.

Please, not Slytherin. Please, do NOT put me in Slytherin.

- Hmm, what do we have here – the loud voice of the Hat starts and I feel like I’m going to faint soon – Oh, wow… - he hums – Very interesting mind. A huge knowledge, and bravery – for a second I feel a slight relief as he’s listing the Gryffindor characteristics – But I see creativity, with a very strong determination and ability to be a great leader…just like a true Slytherin.

Please, I’m begging. Do NOT put me in the Slytherin House…

- Exciting thoughts you have here, young Y/Fam/N – the Hat chuckles but yells out my house finally – Gryffindor!

 *Present*

- Hey, are you OK? – Hermione asks me. I zoned out after the flashback. All these years, nobody asked be why it was so hard for the Sorting Hat to choose my House. They still think I’m just a rather complicated person with quite a twisted personality.

- Yeah, sure – I smile weakly at her – I’m just tired, hungry and nervous about our DADA test, that’s all – I shrug and fasten my walking to the Great Hall. Never in my years at Hogwarts have I thought that maybe my secrets will be exposed one day. And that day was closer than I imagined.

Two weeks have passed since Hermione’s question, and ever since than I’ve tried everything to avoid that specific topic, but she doesn’t seem to want to. Every chance she has, she would ask about my family and why in Merlin’s love I’m not talking about them or about my life outside of Hogwarts. Last night we even had a fight about it in front of half of the School, when she pushed her questions on me during dinner. I got enough of her obsession with my family tree and rushed out of the Hall. But on my way out, I saw Draco Malfoy looking at me with a knowing smirk and some foreign flame in his eyes. Something, that looked very close to sympathy.

- Hermione, I think you should drop it – I hear Harry trying to convince her – I bet those are just rumours. You know how bad they can be.

I walk up to them but before I can sit down on my usual spot next to Hermione, she jumps up and looks at me fumingly. I immediately know that she knows. Of course she does.

- Could you tell me when you wanted to tell us everything? – Her voice is louder than usual and it attracts the attentions of the students at Great Hall. They loved a great drama during dinner time, so they could talk about something after it at their Common Rooms.

- Hermione – I warn her that neither the place, nor time is right for this conversation. But when I try to ask her to talk about this somewhere more private, she cuts me off.

- Do not Hermione me, Y/N – she screams at me with pain in her eyes – A couple of weeks ago I asked you how you were sorted into Gryffindor, when you clearly have the characteristics of a Slytherin. You zoned out and didn’t give me an answer – she starts her story – Silly me thought, it must be a misunderstanding, or you were just going through this weird faze when you act like a total jackass. I tried to talk with you about this, but you changed the subject every single time – she is playing with her wand like she was some kind of teacher, trying to teach us the lesson – So you gave me no other choice than to do some research…

- Hermione, I think we should – Harry stands beside her, tugging on her robe to pull her away from me. Ron stands up too and looks worried. At least he is worried. People are gathering around us, eager to find out what this whole drama is really about. I spot a platinum blond head in the crowd, Draco’s eyes burning my face as he is trying to read in my mind.

- We should do what, Harry? Hmm? – Hermione pushes off his hand from her shoulder and looks back at me – We should just live with the fact that one of our oh so called best friend is actually supposed to be a Slytherin, being the descendent of one of the most ancient pureblood wizard families? Or you just want to avoid the fact that her father was sentenced to death by a Dementor’s kiss, and her brother is probably die in one of the most guarded cells of Azkaban because they were loyal to Who He Shall Not Be Named and served him? Almost everyone in her family was, or still a Death Eater.

Everyone around us gasps. Silence fills the Great Hall as Hermione yells out the last words. Everyone is surprised, except Malfoy. He looks like he knew about this the whole time, and he probably did. His parents being Death Eaters as well, they might had known my father.

- Your mother changed your name, used her middle name as your last name so it might confuse the Sorting Hat – she takes a step closer to me, her wand still in her hand as she was afraid I might hex her. And in this moment, I really want to do that, but I won’t – That’s why the Hat was confused. That’s why the Professors acted like they had no idea who you were, but they all knew.

- You couldn’t keep your nose out of my business, right? – I scoff and look at her. The girl, who I thought was a friend. Whom I thought would never judge me – Are you happy now? You know this too. Does it make you a better person? Do you think you can use this against me?

- I… - she opens her mouth, but this time I’m the one who cuts her off.

- I hope you are finally satisfied. But for your information, private life is called private for a reason. And if you don’t want to cause any trouble for yourself in the future, I suggest you to stay out of other people’s business. Not everyone is as nice as I am – I say to her with ice cold voice and leave the room in a rush.

I’m literally running all the way up to the Astronomy Tower. My tears blur my vision, and I almost fall a couple of times, but all I want is to be as far from Hermione as I can. My knees give up, and they can no longer hold me on my feet. I collapse to the ground and let myself cry. My father was indeed a Death Eater, but he was a good man. He never meant to hurt anyone, he just made all the wrong choices, along with my brother. They loved their family endlessly, and would have done everything to protect Mom and me. And they did. That’s why they were both locked up at Azkaban for years. Than the Ministry made their decision about Dad, who refused to give names to the judges. So he got a Dementor Kiss. Elvin, my brother, was only sentenced to spend the rest of his life at Azkaban.

I hear footsteps from behind me, but I refuse to turn around. I don’t want to face anyone now, I just want to be alone with my shame, grief and thoughts.

- I don’t care who you are, but I don’t want to speak, nor I want company – my voice is filled with sorrow, and the cold November weather makes me shiver. I just started to feel cold. I must have been too angry to feel anything but the fire burning inside of me which wanted to hex Hermione for being so nosy.

- The Towers tends to be quite cold around this time of the year – I’m shocked by the voice. I thought Hermione ran after me to finish her story about my own damn life, or if it wasn’t her, I thought it was going to be Harry or Ron coming after me, to make sure I’m okay, and to ask me if she was right about all those things she had said in the Great Hall. But for my surprise, it was no other, than the Prince of Slytherin, who had been watching me for the last couple of weeks, and who couldn’t look away from my face during Hermione’s “attack”.

- Here you go – he says softly as he wraps his Slytherin robe on my shoulders. I look up at him, just to see his facial expressions. All I can see is sympathy and kindness on his every cold and emotionless face. His pale skin looks like it’s glowing in the moonlight, and his eyes are sparkling just like the stars on the jet black night sky – I come here often. When I want to be alone and need to think or just let out everything that I’ve been hiding in my mind.

I follow his movements, as he sits down beside me. So close our arms are brushing to each other, a sudden warm feeling going through my whole body. Draco was a jerk. He was full of himself, and lived for terrorizing everyone who wasn’t a Slytherin or a pureblood witch or wizard. Somehow, he never had anything bad to say to me; he never called me Gryffindork, or any other insulting names. But at the same time, he never really talked to me – only when we were paired to work together for essays or at Potions class a couple of times.

- You knew, didn’t you? – I ask him after a rather long silence – That’s why you left me alone, not calling me names and picking on me. You knew who I was, and who my parents were…and that’s why you were around me these couple of days. You knew she was going to figure out, right?

He only answers with a small nod. He doesn’t look at me. I turn my gaze away from his side profile, and stare at the sky. We sit there is silence, the only noise our slow breathing, and the sound of the wind dancing through the columns of the Tower. Out of nowhere, Draco grabs my hand, and holds it in his. His thumb is drawing little circles on my wrist and my quite sobs start to calm down and fade.

- I’m not them – I sigh – I’m not my parents or my brother. I would never be a Death Eater. I wouldn’t be able to kill someone, even if they deserved to die. My father and Elvin never killed anyone. They were only…

- Shhh – Draco pulls me closer and lets me to rest my head on his shoulder – You don’t have to explain anything to me. I know how hard your life must have been. And it still is. To be honest, it’s never gonna change. You can only learn to live with this, keep it as a secret and pretend it won’t affect your future – he plays with my fingers, and I know, this time, he’s not referring to me only, but to himself and his future as well – But the truth, it will. We just have to be strong and smart enough, to bare it.

- I don’t know if I can do this alone – I whisper, a single tear rolling down my cheek, dropping on Draco’s hand. He turns to me, and places his free hand on my cheek. I watch his light pink lip running along his bottom lip, his lips curving into a small, but genuine smile.

- Who said you have to do it alone? – he asks me – I’m pretty good at keeping dirty little secrets.

- I bet you have tones of those – I finally laugh a bit. At the sound of my laughter, his smile grows wider, and a cheeky little fame appears in his almost grey eyes.

- Oh, trust me darling, I do – he laughs as well – One of them being having a crush on you…

From that night, Draco did everything in his power to protect me, and I did the same with him. It took me a while, to be comfortable again inside the walls of Hogwarts. I lost a few friends, but at the same time, I gained a few more. People, who were on my side, no matter what. After summer break, Hermione and I apologised to each other. She finally accepting that fact that she might be way too nosy, and wanted to grow as a person, and learn to stay out of other people’s business for her own good. And I told her everything about my family, friends, childhood, fears and dreams. Of course we had a fight about me dating Draco, but when I explained her, that he would never ever hurt me, she finally accepted him at our and in the Gryffindor’s common room as well. As for Draco, it took me a couple of months to get used to the idea, that that arrogant asshole really had a soft side and he loved to show it to me. We never told the whole school that we were, in fact, a couple. Some people knew, some had no clue. We loved the idea of being each other’s dirty little secret.

[biwenqing]

So this is for the day three prompt: Social Media AU for Spring Sleuthing over at @tsomdevents! I wrote this fic a while ago, and it fits perfectly for this. But I realized it was going to be more than one chapter. I will continue it once the prompt week is over!

teen | pre-relationship | WIP | ao3 link | formatted as tweets | wc:1767

WZ @theroommatedilema

i made this secret account to live tweet my two oblivious roommates having a quarantine romance. or not. they are idiots. follow to find out will they/won’t they.

he/him | Joined March 2020

WZ @theroommatedilema . March 27 we are starting week 2 of quarantine and i realized i needed to document this. my two roommates who have been dancing around each other since before shit hit the fan are driving me crazy and if i have to watch this the world has to as well.

WZ @theroommatedilema . March 27 we need to give them code names because, while i don't think either of them will find this account, best not to tempt fate. so we have 'hot chef' and 'smart aleck'.

WZ @theroommatedilema . March 27 all that out of the way, we can now get to the live tweet. hot chef was doing his laundry so he was walking around the apartment shirtless. smart aleck walked into a wall, not once, not twice, but three times. hot chef didn't help this when he put on an apron

WZ @theroommatedilema . March 28 smart aleck started the day by almost burning down our kitchen trying to make breakfast to impress hot chef. luckily i was awake and stopped things before there was a grease fire, before making breakfast myself. they both seemed to like it.

WZ @theroommatedilema . March 29 hot chef thinks we should try and exercise, but i think it is cold and slippery out, so if he expects me to join him on his morning runs, he is wrong. smart aleck did make an attempt and i got to watch him wipe out from the window. lucky for him hot chef caught him. yea i know

WZ @theroommatedilema . March 29 follow up to wipe out: hot chef helped smart aleck back into the house and then took care of him, before then still going on his run. smart aleck pouted next to me on the couch, watching out the window for when he came back like a puppy.

WZ @theroommatedilema . March 30 smart aleck has decided he needs to clean and organize the whole apartment. i think he just doesn't want to do his real job. this has led to an argument with hot chef because smart aleck has taken everything out of the kitchen cabinets and messed with his books.

WZ @theroommatedilema . March 30 as a household, we have a pretty solid 'don't touch my stuff' understanding, but that apparently goes all out the window during a pandemic. hot chef keeps all his cooking tools and supplies in a special order that makes sense only to him and i leave it be

WZ @theroommatedilema . March 30 but smart aleck wants to "help" and didnt ask if anyone wanted help so here we are. don't worry, this account isn't in vain, i can confirm that their argument is more bickering and that bickering is the stereotype of an "old married couple"

WZ @theroommatedilema . March 30 SA: but you do so much, i wanted to help! HC: if i need help, i'd ask for it SA: *arms crossed* would you? give an example of when you have asked for help. HC: ....i haven't needed help SA: bullshit! remember when you got the flu last year and didn't tell us?

WZ @theroommatedilema . March 30 SA: you practically passed out before you let WZ and i take you to see a doctor! and then you still argued about us making sure you got the food and fluids and everything you needed so you didn't die! HC: ...i didn't want either of you to get sick

WZ @theroommatedilema . March 30 SA: oh yes so ignoring the issue really helped? it’s better that you almost died? in case you didn’t already notice, smart aleck is always dramatic.

WZ @theroommatedilema . March 30 for those wondering, smart aleck is not wrong here. this is exactly how events occurred. it was only a few months after I moved in with them. for the fight i think smart aleck somehow won this round. tune in tomorrow for what happens next!

WZ @theroommatedilema . April 4 no updates because they have been pretending to ignore each other and focused on work. hot chef in particular. smart aleck claims it is because hot chef isn’t used to being cared about. he told me this in a deliberate stage whisper.

WZ @theroommatedilema . April 4 i think it is important to note that hot chef did still make dinner each night to share... he just went back to his room after.

WZ @theroommatedilema . April 5 i got a question asking what we all do for work. that’s classified. and mostly unrelated. though it is how we met in a very odd course of events.

WZ @theroommatedilema . April 5 that was not an invitation to send me more questions. i know you are all nosy, or else why would you be following this account. but we have established this account must go unnoticed.

WZ @theroommatedilema . April 5 fine. general ages = smart aleck is in his 20s. hot chef is in his 30s. and because you for some reason all want to know: i am also in my 20s.

WZ @theroommatedilema . April 5 pets = yes one. smart aleck has a pet cat named goat he inherited from a past roommate. goat the cat tries to eat anything and everything, thus the name. she particularly likes to eat house plants. she likes smart aleck the least, hot chef the most. i hold a pretty solid 2nd place.

WZ @theroommatedilema . April 6 update: they made up. a package arrived today and it was apparently a pan to replace one smart aleck had destroyed. hot chef made smart aleck’s favorite dinner. SA talked the whole way through to meal, and HC looked smitten. so we’re back to normal.

WZ @theroommatedilema . April 10 where do we rank the level of domestic where one person brushes their teeth/gets ready for the day while the other is in the shower? bonus points for some mild discussion and/or bickering.

WZ @theroommatedilema . April 11 smart aleck has a new scheme. he is trying to persuade hot chef to teach him to cook. so far HC has held firm. we mark day one of this new standoff.

WZ @theroommatedilema . April 12 i’ve been asked a few times why i don’t just use initials of smart aleck and hot chef’s names. it’s all part of keeping this hidden. i have also chosen nicknames that i don’t think they would think i’d use for them.

WZ @theroommatedilema . April 12 smart aleck is the type to figure this out if i’m not careful. he’s both too clever and too dumb for his own good. which is part of the reason i must document all of this, so i can shove it in his face later.

WZ @theroommatedilema . April 12 we are also on day two of cooking teaching standoff. i think some of you rightly assume SA is imagining hot chef standing behind him and idk helping him cut vegetables

WZ @theroommatedilema . April 13 standoff continues. i made dinner to see if that would throw the balance off. no change yet

WZ @theroommatedilema . April 14 resolution! hot chef did give in, on the condition that he teaches both of us. i didn’t manage to escape because smart aleck seemed to decide this was the only way. don’t know how this fits into whatever romantic daydreams he had.

WZ @theroommatedilema . April 14 i see those comments that this might give me a chance to put them together. but i think it is more fun to not help them at all. they need to do this on their own

WZ @theroommatedilema . April 15 to do such teaching, a grocery shopping mission is needed. because the world is... well. i suggested just they go together so fine. maybe i will try and assist.

WZ @theroommatedilema . April 15 level of domestic of sneaking things you know your “just friends roommate” loves but won’t buy for themselves in the cart without them knowing?

WZ @theroommatedilema . April 15 you ask how i know that and it is of course because smart aleck, so proud of himself, announced it as soon as he reentered the apartment. goat the cat tried to get into the bags to eat raw fish while this occurred.

WZ @theroommatedilema . April 16 first cooking lesson, some simple stir fry. i already can cook this so i get to just perch at the counter and watch. vote on the poll below how you think this will turn out

[hands brushing softly] [sparks, and not the sexy kind] [food hopefully?]

WZ @theroommatedilema . April 16 everyone who voted for fire won. the neighbors are quite upset. and not even goat the cat will eat the final product. i ordered take out and a fresh fire extinguisher while they dealt with the mild fire and smoke detector.

WZ @theroommatedilema . April 17 smart aleck is pouting so there will be no cooking lessons today. the good news (for his employer) is he seems to actually be focusing on doing his job.

WZ @theroommatedilema . April 20 hot chef actually asked smart aleck if he wanted to try cooking again. very interesting. this has mostly been coming from SA’s side, so i would call this positive movement.

WZ @theroommatedilema . April 20 SA has completely perked up and agreed.

WZ @theroommatedilema . April 20 oh apparently the plan is SA will watch and i get the place as the student in the kitchen. this is probably safer for everyone

WZ @theroommatedilema . April 21 for those asking what happen: dinner was made with no issue. I was in charge of the main dish and that left HC to work on side dishes. SA even helped wash and chop some vegetables. goat took some chicken right off SA’s plate and ran away with it growling.

WZ @theroommatedilema . April 21 i take that to mean the cat approves of my cooking. but she also tried to steal things from the trash, so that isn’t much of an endorsement.

WZ @theroommatedilema . April 22 SA is avoiding work and trying to clean again. he actually asked if he could move stuff around. growth.

WZ @theroommatedilema . April 25 hot chef spotted leaving smart aleck’s room this morning?

WZ @theroommatedilema . April 25 false alarm, he was just looking for the cat.

WZ @theroommatedilema . April 30 final report for this month: progress made in communication. new together activity established. the apartment has not burned down. a baby step closer, yet still so far away from them figuring this out...

[sweeethinny]

Helloooo, if u still write prompts can u please write something about hinny dropping off James Sirius for his first year at hogwarts?

helloo, I love to write about those moments, and I hope it was good, I left it more sentimental than I expected btw, now we have a PROMPT LIST, feel free to send :) 

''He'll be fine'' Harry repeated for the tenth time that morning, stirring the eggs in the pot and sighing as he used his other hand to ruffle his hair ''What if he doesn't?''

''Harry, he'll be fine'' Ginny replied, even though her husband knew she was also worried ‘'Everything will be fine'' She spoke, more to herself than to Harry, climbing up the stairs to wake the three children, certain that the the older kid was already awake, probably barely sleeping at night - just like she and Harry.

After waking everyone who was not awake, going through the suitcase and examining clothes and materials for the fifth time, Ginny took everyone down, trying to exude the best confidence that goes beyond.

She didn't want to be all sentimental in front of the children, but her heart was on fire at the thought of being without James in the house. As much as he and Albus had been fighting lately, just thinking that her baby would stay for almost a year, as tears prickled her eyes.

''Good morning my loves'' Harry greeted, serving the children's dishes and also seeming to hide his mood, since last night after he talked to James about behaving, not breaking rules (or at least trying), studying ... and everything else a father should say to his son before he goes to Hogwarts, Harry was much more sentimental, hugging Ginny tighter than usual and remaining silent while she also thinks about the things that were in her husband's head;

Their first little bird was leaving the nest.

As soon as they finished breakfast, and Teddy arrived, they started putting things in the car, and just from Harry's face, Ginny knew they were both frighteningly anxious and sad. Inside the car, Ginny scolded them for looking so discouraged, so they started talking and talking about everything James could expect from Hogwarts, and more than once, Ginny had to bite her tongue to keep from stupid tears away.

They had done this to Teddy already, it wasn’t supposed to remain so sentimental, but it seemed almost impossible. It looked like it was yesterday that James climbed into their bed in the morning, only to sleep hugging his mother like he was still a baby. Wasn't it also yesterday that James put on her uniform and said he was a professional player like mommy? Even if he could barely balance himself on the broom?

''What if I can't fly?'' He whispered to her, looking anxious for the first time, as they walked across the platform full of wizards and children ready for their new school year.

Ginny felt her chest tighten, wondering how much it had cost James, who always tried to look as strong as an 11-year-old could do ... They would be in big trouble when he grew up a little and managed to be better at hiding it .

''I'm sure you can do it, but if you need help, we'll train at Christmas, ok?'' She calmed him down, almost hugging him again and embarrassing him in front of his new colleagues.

When Harry reminded him of being a good boy, not breaking the rules, and everything he was going to repeat to everyone until the last day he had to do that, everyone hugged James, who, to his credit, looked as anxious as his parents for having to leave them behind. The maximum amount of time they had spent apart was on vacation, when Ginny and Harry traveled for a week to celebrate their wedding anniversary in Greece. A year seemed too long.

The son boarded the train, waved at everyone until he was far enough away to be a blur, and finally disappeared on his way to Hogwarts. Ginny could barely hide that she was about to cry.

Of course, it was a cry of happiness, her son was growing up, and he would test all the lessons she and Harry had taught him during the 11 years, and that's okay, in a few months he would be back and tell, and until that happens, they would send letters to maintain communication ... but it still squeezed their heart.

And when all the kids left for school? She could barely imagine an entire day without Lily following her, or Albus being a chatterbox and talking about anything that went through his head.

''We'll be fine'' Harry whispered, hugging his wife's waist and pulling her closer as they walked back to the car. Albus was suddenly quite quiet. ''How long until he does something wrong and we have to send a howler?'' He asked, laughing weakly and thinking about the boy's conflicting temperament and how he had an ability to always be in the wrong place at the wrong time

''Let's hope it takes at least a month'' Ginny replied, laughing and thinking about what was still waiting for them. "If we are lucky, McGonagall will not notice his name until a semester from now"

''If we're lucky, two years from now she'll still accept Albus, and not just give up on the Potter ... Teddy really gave her a headache'' Harry said

''Oh no, Teddy spoke to James yesterday and said he was going to 'give him tips' '' She said, running a hand through her hair and looking at the godson who was saying something to the two quiet kids, trying to cheer them up at all costs.

''I think we'll hear from James sooner than expected'' Harry replied, laughing and squeezing her waist, kissing the top of her head ''We'll be fine''

''I know'' And Ginny really knew that.

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. LXVIII

It was a love story from the very beginning.

I Want You Back (Part I)

(11x15/11x16a)

Hello my friends! How are you? I decided to divide this topic into two parts and taking the first half of episode 16.

Thanks to my dear editor @destielle for take her time and betaed this mess! 😘💕

Here I will talk about how Dean's priorities change from the moment he discovers Cas is possessed by Lucifer.

Something like… 'Amara who?'

Let's check it out…

He wants so be saved

The first scene in the bunker in episode 15x15 shows us Dean trying to force the idea about Cas wanting to be saved to be true, just like the way when he came back from Purgatory without the angel and lied to himself to the point he altered his memories about what really happened.

Sam can sense his brother's feelings and concerns… pay attention to this dialogue…

Sam: Uh... don’t you think our plates are a little full? I mean it’s bad out there, Dean.

Dean: Yeah, Sam. You think I don’t know that? We’ve done nothing but mainline lore for a week, okay? We’ve got jack on another hand of God and Amara, and we’ve got even less jack on how to save Cas.

Sam: If he wants to be saved.

Dean: He does... even if he doesn’t know it yet.

Sam: Dean...

Dean: I’m burnt, man. Okay? And I need... WE need to get out of here. Let’s go stretch our legs.

Sam looks wearily at Dean.

Sam knows Castiel decided to do this because he wanted to be useful to the fight. Again, Sam and Cas share the same train of thought, opting for war decisions. It’s easy for Sam to understand Cas. But for Dean, the one in love with the angel, it’s really hard to believe. He can't wrap his head around the possibility of Cas saying yes to Lucifer on purpose or that he doesn’t want to be saved. He can't and he doesn't want to believe it. And the guilt inside of him because he didn't see these events coming is playing an important role in his despair. All he wants is his angel back...

Gunnar: Castiel mirror

They were set blatantly: Dean and his crush on Gunnar and Sam and his crush on Rio.

Playing with these two parallels at the same time in the same episode, we, as the audience searching for subtext, can see and talk about Bi!Dean easily.

Gif credit @roseredfingers

That's why we have Gunnar winking at Dean and Rio seductively greeting Sam when they came out from the wrestling ring in two different scenes.

Gif set credit @subcas 👇

But that wasn't the only thing the writers wanted to show us by introducing Gunnar.

Gunnar was dressed in the color blue, so, when Dean faces him, we can interpret that as him facing Cas… watch this…

Gunnar: Sorry, kid. I don’t want to do this.

Dean: Oh, then don’t.

Gunnar: You say that like I got a choice. That guy out there, he’s a...

Dean: He’s a demon. I know. And I know about Hell and deals... all of it. What’s he got over you? You sold your soul, didn’t you?

Gunnar: Ten years ago, I wanted another shot at the belt; 50,000 people screaming my name. I was desperate and dumb.

Dean: But you only had the title for like a week.

Gunnar: Desperate and dumb.

Dean: Okay. Okay. Look, you screwed up, all right? Trust me. I’ve been there. But it is never too late to do the right thing.

Gunnar: You really believe that?

Dean: I have to.

Gunnar wanted to be the winner, the hero, just like Cas. Castiel wanted to be that hero on which Sam and Dean could rely on. And his despair led him to Lucifer. So Dean, emphatically, tries to give him hope because he totally understands, because he has ‘been there.' 

This is a piece of Dean Winchester's struggle. Dean has been there. He totally knows what it’s like to be desperate, and we can easily imagine him to be asking himself why Cas didn't come to him and talk about everything first. But also why he couldn’t see the signs of the bad shape Castiel was in. Why did Sam notice but not him? Not even when he saw him in the bunker and Casifer lightly suggested using Dean as bait? All of this is seething inside Dean. So when he finds Gunnar and hears his story of WHY HE HAD MADE A DEAL WITH A DEMON (just like Cas) it was as if he was seeing Cas in that story.

Learning a Lesson

The last scene in the episode is Sam and Dean talking about Gunnar and the conversation turning into a Cas-centric chat…

Sam: Are you okay?

Dean: Not even a little bit. Lawless was a good guy. He didn’t deserve to go out like that, you know?

Sam: Dean, you know what? He made a bad decision. We’ve been there.

Dean: Yeah, you, me, now Cas.

This is the confirmation of the assumption that Gunnar's behavior was a recall of Castiel's bad decision and that Dean was aware of it the whole time. So it’s confirmed: When he was talking to Gunnar it was a mirror for talking to Cas.

Sam: Dean, we’ll get him back. We will. We just got to…

Sam recognizes the symptomatology over there… everything is about Cas.

Dean: Keep grinding. No matter how much it hurts, no matter how hard it gets, you got to keep grinding.

Sam: Right.

Dean is talking, finally, with the pain carved into his heart, and Sam is there for him, listening to his brother confessing he's devastated because Cas made that bad decision and that he wants him back, and that he will keep fighting for it.

Gif credit @sunlitcas

Dean: And that’s how we’re gonna win. And we’re gonna win. We’re gonna save Cas, we’re gonna ice the Devil and we’re gonna shank the Darkness. And anyone that gets in our way, well, God help them.

Sam: Damn right.

Dean: Damn right.

Dean learning his lesson, painfully, but he's okay, he can do this, Sam is there, and both of them will get Cas back.

Cas comes first

In the beginning of episode 11x16 'Safe House', Dean is worried about not having any clue about Cas and Amara, but Sam finds a case to make his brother focus on another topic. A distraction.

But the case ended up being one of Bobby's and Rufus’s old cases.

In the same way we have Dean focused on Cas and Sam focused on relocating that on another case, we have Bobby focused on the Apocalypse and Rufus focused on the house and the case.

The whole episode is like a war between what is more important: the Apocalypse (Cas) or the case.

There are handprints on the victims, mirroring the Destiel handprint. And we have a broken seal, mirroring Cain's mark.

BOBBY: The apocalypse is on the horizon, and you wanna hunt a damn ghost!

And this one here too…

BOBBY: Been burning the midnight oil. Last couple of weeks. Up for days. Lookin' for ways to stop the apocalypse. Lookin' for - anything. Sam and Dean are right in the middle of this thing. I'm worried about my boys, Rufus.

Bobby isn't sleeping, just like Dean. Because both of them are worried. One because of his familial love for his boys and the other one because of romantic love, as the writers will make that difference apparent in episode 11x17 'Red Meat', which I’ll be talking about in the next meta.

Finally, I want to talk about this dialogue before ending this analysis…

RUFUS: Hey, hey. Alright, okay. Papa bear. But you know more than anyone, Bobby. Even if we find a way to keep the world spinning, not everyone's going to be on that bus ride home. Sacrifice, greater good. All that jazz.

BOBBY: Yeah, I know.

The greater good, the war decision is making its appearance again. The Sacrifice, the path Castiel has chosen.

RUFUS: Oldest rule of hunting, Bobby. You can't save everyone.

So, Rufus (Sam mirror) talks about war decisions, and Bobby (Dean mirror) talks about his emotions (heart decision).

To conclude: 

Episode 11x15 brought us subtext for Bi!Dean, making a blatant parallel between Gunnar/Dean and Rio/Sam, their youth crushes.

Gunnar was mirroring Cas by making a deal with a demon to become a hero again.

Dean immediately related Gunnar's story to Castiel. So the words he said to him were the ones he wanted to say to Cas, if he had just seen the weight of Cas' despair.

Episode 11x16 was another parallel between Sam and Dean with Bobby and Rufus with the topic being ‘What comes first?’. To Dean, the answer is obvious: Castiel comes first, always.

I hope you liked this meta, see you in the next one!

Tagging @metafest @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weirddorkylittlediana @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @foxyroxe-art @authorsararayne @anonymoustitans @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @wildligia @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-is--endgame @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @tenshilover20 @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @isthisdestiel @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @horsez2 @qanelyytha

@imjustkipping @destielle @agusvedder @spnsmile @shippsblog @robot-feels @superlock-in-the-tardis

If you want to be added or removed from this list, just let me know.

If you want to read the previous metas From s11, here you have the links...

Vol. LXII, LXIII, LXIV, LXV, LXVI, LXVIII.

Buenos Aires, June 30th 2020 5:06 PM

[duhragonball]

For the Ask Game: Son Goku

Give me a character and I will answer:

Why I like them: Goku is the main character in Dragon Ball Z, an anime that I have enjoyed tremendously for over 20 years.  He kicks aliens really fast and hard, and he eats wolves and bugs and clouds, and he’s very cool and good.   

That may sound kind of basic, maybe even borderline sarcastic, but I’m not sure how else to put it.    I’ve gotten so used to liking Goku that it’s hard to articulate why.   

Like, okay, you know that one episode during the Cell Games, where he’s gonna pick apples from his favorite apple tree?   And he does the special karate punch that makes the apples all fall out of the branches without really hurting the tree?    In the dub, he says to the tree “Ready for one more round, old timer?”  Or something like that, and then after he hits it, he’s like “See?  That didn’t hurt a bit.”  I’m not getting the lines right, but you get the idea.    That’s some choice Goku right there.    He’s friends with that tree!   

Why I don’t: hE gAvE mOrO a SeNzU bEaN-- ha ha just kidding, but can you imagine not liking Goku?   Because of something he did in some horseshit fancomic that doesn’t even count?

Lately, I’ve been hearing a lot of guff from people about Goku showing mercy to his enemies.   This is humorous to me, because I’d bet you dollars to donuts that they’re fans of Vegeta and/or Piccolo, and that only happened because Goku decided to have mercy on their stank asses.    “Well I like Vegeta because he kills people.”  He only gets to do that because Goku allowed him to live.    Best Green Dad doesn’t happen without Goku, period, end of sentence, new paragraph.   

I’m not a lore expert like that guy on Twitter who only watched DBZ Abridged, but here’s some cool trivia for you: Cell could have self-destructed and destroyed the Earth at any time.    It literally does not matter that Goku gave Cell a senzu bean before Gohan fought him, because Cell would have done the same thing no matter who beat him or how.     If Gohan had wiped him out quickly, that nucleus would have survived and regenerated, and he would come back even stronger.   The senzu bean just delayed the inevitable outcome, and not even by that much, because Cell wasn’t that worn out in the first place.   The whole thing with the senzu bean was Goku playing headgames with Cell and no one seems to understand that but me.   

But what about Moro, you ask?   Hey, come here.  

Closer.    No, closer.   

Listen to me.   I love you, okay?    But the Dragon Ball Super manga isn’t canon.   Hating Goku over something he did in Super is like hating Superman for something he did in a Mad Magazine bit.      

“Blargle blargle he doesn’t kiss his wife bad father, tournament of power--” I super mega don’t care about any of these ice cold takes.      Every day I go on YouTube and it recommends me the dirt worst Star Wars commentary videos.   “Maybe the SITH were actually the GOOD GUYS and the JEDI were the BAD GUYS!  Huh?  Did I just BLOW your MIND?   Be sure to like and subscribe!”  Every dope with a keyboard seems to think they can flip the script and pretend they’re some kind of genius.    “Thanos was right!”  “Magneto was right!” “Dr. Doom was right!” “Antifa are the real fascists when you stop and think about it!”  “Masks and vaccines are bullshit, COVID-19 is a hoax, but if it were real, maybe it’s the good guy in this situation!”

I didn’t mean to go off on a rant here, but the whole point of Goku is that he’s a pretty cool guy, and the hero of his particular adventure, and you see all these people trying to outsmart that somehow, like it’s not the premise of the character.   It’s like all those fan theories about how every show is really one character having a coma dream in the hospital.    It’s fake-deep, like when Will Smith’s kid goes on the internet and says something like “Water isn’t wet when you stop and think about it.”  

I’m not saying everyone has to like Goku, but I don’t get the hate-boner people have for him.    I don’t like cole slaw, it’s soggy and insipid and I don’t understand it, but I don’t go around trying to convince people it’s not made out of cabbage.  

Anyway, Goku’s awesome. 

Favorite episode (scene if movie): It’s hard to choose, but DBZ #248 always fucks me up.   I looked it up in my liveblog archive to get the episode number right, and the first line of that post: This one always fucks me up.

Moving on.

Favorite season/movie: In Dragon Ball terms, I guess this refers to the sagas, so I’ll go with Cell Games.    Goku goes into the battle with this flawed, touch-and-go plan, and it works.    He defeats perfection with imperfection, and it’s glorious.  

Favorite line: “What I represent can never be destroyed,” is one of the most metal lines ever uttered, anywhere.   It’s a threat and a moral lesson all in one.   

Favorite outfit: Two answers for this one.  

Shu’s outfit in the Fortuneteller Baba Saga was awesome.    I used to wear yellow T-shirts to work, so when I put on my blue labcoat I would see myself in the restroom mirror and think: yeaaaaahhhhhh.

I’m also big into Goku’s look during the Cell Games, classic orange outfit, blue shirt, with the Super Saiyan form ready to go.    That may sound obvious, since this is kind of Goku’s default look, but it takes a while to get all of this together.  For me, it was a big deal to see Goku in action as a Super Saiyan in his standard fighting gear, because the whole time he was SSJ on Namek his shirt was ruined.   Against Gero and 19 he was sick, but starting with the Cell Games, we get him fresh as a daisy, and it’s worth the wait.   Harder to stealth cosplay, though.

OTP: Gochi.   Come on.    I don’t even care that much about ships, but they’re adorable on the show, and the internet backlash against Gochi only intensifies my defiance.   

Brotp: I wrote a fanfic with Goku and Yamcha just joyriding in the desert, and that seemed pretty awesome, so maybe we need more of that.   

I dunno, maybe I’m giving this to Bulma.   They don’t get a ton of screen time together after a certain point in the show, but the bond between them is this really sublime thing.    In the same fanfic, I wrote Bulma and Goku interacting, and that was just a pleasure to write.

Head Canon: I think Goku being an alien orphan matters more to him than he lets on.   Early on, he knew he had parents but he didn’t know why they left him in the woods.   Pretty much every interaction he has with the outside world is about him being different.   Then he finds out he’s a Saiyan and all the Saiyans hate him for being weak and sentimental and so on.   He can kick all their asses, but that doesn’t make him any less of an outcast.   

I think becoming a Super Saiyan is a bigger deal to him than he lets on.   That moment kind of serves as this unspoken proof that there’s more to being a “true” Saiyan than Vegeta, Nappa, and Raditz ever knew.   That maybe, if his great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great granny could see him, she might approve.

Unpopular opinion:

Yukio Ebisawa is underrated. 

A wish: I always wanted to see Goku style on Broly ‘93.   It seemed unfair to me that they kept bringing Broly back, and even teased a rematch with Goku in Movie 11, only to not deliver on it.    I wanted Goku to turn Super Saiyan 2 and Broly’d be all “oh noes!” and Goku would look at him and be all “Yeah.   What now, bitch?    That green shit won’t cut it anymore.”

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: I think my darkest fear about the Dragon Ball franchise is that it’ll get bastardized like Superman, where some giant multimedia corporation owns it, has no idea how to tell new stories with it, and refuses to let it lapse into the public domain.   I have no idea how public domain works in Japan, but “Disney Toei’s Dragon Ball KH” doesn’t sit well with me.    Hopefully I’ll be dead by the time that happens.  

Like, Rise of Skywalker wasn’t that bad.   But it did lead me to worry that they really have no idea how to make Star Wars work.    They got it right enough, but the part where Rose is going to stay and guard the base or whatever, it just made me realize they’re only guessing, and they just happen to guess right often enough to succeed.   And it’s not like you can jump over to some other studio and see how they handle a Star Wars movie.

5 words to best describe them: Ain’t nothin’ to fuck with.

My nickname for them: Geeko.    Ha ha, just kidding.  

[missholland]

Lan Wangji (mostly, his love)

LAN ZHAN! I read somewhere that this was said 102 times by Wei Wuxian in The Untamed. It feels like an understatement, cause I’ve watched the show so many times now I could hear ‘Lan Zhan’ being called in my sleep...

My first time watching the drama, I was full on Team Xianxian. I mean, who would not be? He’s the central character of the story, he’s the first thing you see within the first few seconds of episode 1, and who could resist his sunflower aura? I was not into Lan Wangji at all. I remember this clearly because I just found an old Instagram story in my Archive on the day I first watched this show: a screenshot of Wangji’s face in episode 3 and my caption was: ‘OMG how could Wei sunshine fall in love with this dry and boring man?’. And just like how Wangji eventually swallowed all of the statements he had made about the young Wei Wuxian (’I don’t touch other people’, ‘We’re not close’, etc.), I am not the same person on that fateful day tuning in the first episode on Netflix. I am now Team Hanguang-Jun through and through!

What I’ve been enjoying so much these days is watching random earlier/later episodes just to compare how Wangji’s attitude changed toward Wei Wuxian over 16 years-ish. It’s probably so obvious for everyone that he definitely falls in love first, even when the drama purposely made their early relationship a lot more intense comparing to the novel i.e. showing Wei Wuxian somewhat feeling the same way about Wangji in his first life, with the constant flirting and mutual pining (don’t even get me started...). Now that I kinda understand what the character is like, it makes a lot of sense the way he processed his feelings for Wuxian in his youth. I wonder how different he would have reacted without the push from the best brother/wingman in the cultivation world - Lan Xichen. Sure, Jiang Cheng had a lot to say about this too, but mostly out of a slight envy (I reckon) over Wuxian’s new subject of desire. But Lan Xichen sees through his brother, and has been pretty much WangXian fanclub admin since day 1. I don’t have a brother, but man, I wish Lan Xichen could be mine.

In my humble opinion, the fact that we were given 3 versions of Wei Wuxian throughout the series kinda gifts us 3 versions of Lan Wangji too in a way - the straight face, the confused heart, and the national boyfriend/husband. Considering the number of times I rewatched the latter half of the series i.e. episode 33 onward, I just want to write down all of my thoughts about the national boyfriend/husband Lan Wangji, and not just because that version seems to have the most lines comparing to the other two.

There are several details that were not explained much in the series (although shown on screen) so I have to read from the novel later on. But oh my god, the stuff I found... I never realized that the scene before Lan Wangji went to Mo’s manor where his guqin was playing behind him standing on the balcony referred to how he used Inquiry to find Wuxian. What Jiang Cheng said to him about having gone to a lot of places for 16 years and searching for someone completely went over my head in the first watch, and imagine how I scratched my brain revisiting that part. That plus ‘oh I’ve never seen you at a cultivation conference before’ in episode 41 - my goodness, because he was spending ALL of his time LOOKING FOR Wei Wuxian.

Another thing I hope would have been addressed in the series was the hot iron mark on his chest. I thought the story of him drinking wine and giving himself a mark identical to Wuxian’s was the prime work of a broken heart. He must have thought about their conversation in Xuanwu cave, about the mark staying on his skin forever and how Wuxian was convinced Mianmian would never forget him. Was that how Wangji was making a point of never forgetting Wei Wuxian? If that scene made into the drama, I would have thought Wangji’s character song Buwang to be play in the background. The lyrics fit the situation so much.

Personally, everything from episode 33 onward was perfection for me, finally getting to see Wangji embrace his feelings and ACT ON THEM toward the romance-blind idiot Wei Wuxian (yes, he totally is). All the caring touches and details played out so astonishingly. One of my favourite (which doesn’t seem to be a popular one since I have not seen many gifs of it on Tumblr) was when, after interrogating Huaisang, Wangji comfortably moved over the other side of the table and picked up Wuxian’s left leg to CLEAN THE EVIL SPELL - think of the level of intimacy this act is! Although that came after the romantic piggyback under the moonlight, I thought that speaks volume for someone who doesn’t even physically interact with his family members, and serves as a great follow-up right after he, again comfortably, pulled up Wuxian’s trousers to check his leg.

What I thought was always presented so beautifully is every time Wangji serves Wuxian liquor. The way he carefully picks up his sleeve, prepares the cup (I know they’re probably not called ‘cups’ but I can’t find another word), pours the liquor and slides it over to his partner is so well demonstrated and shows how much he wants to properly take care of Wuxian. Would you put so much effort in such a tiny mundane act if you’re not doing it for the most important person in your life? 

In a way, I feel like everything he does is making up for what he could not do the past 16 years, including remembering so many tiny details and keeping all sort of Wuxian-related things. My favourite Wangji keepsake moment, despite being a very short one, is the butterfly talisman at Yunping City which he gave to Wuxian to rescue Wen Ning. I don’t know why that moment makes me really really happy, probably because that was one of the earliest items Wangji could have kept hold of from Wuxian’s. That tells us how way long before he was developing feelings toward this little rebel. Not to mention, we did see Wangji even use this very talisman in episode 11 when he encountered Wen Chao on his way back to Cloud Recesses.

Yes, the ‘I knew he was Wei Ying all along’ while having all the swords pointed at you is highly pivotal as it’s basically the censored version of ‘I love you’. BUT, the moment all leading cultivators of all major and minor clans ran to Burial Mounds just to witness Lan Wangji standing proudly without flinch on the other side with Wei Wuxian makes me appreciate that whole arc a lot more than the big revelation in the last 3 episodes. Wangji ignoring his own Grand Master, Wuxian once again standing against every single person in the cultivation world but with so much confidence this time around - to me, is beyond satisfying. I love this arc so much so I wrote a separate piece about episode 44-45 - if you’re interested in more of my random thoughts, feel free to have a read here.

Thinking about all this, I’m absolutely in awe of how protective national boyfriend Wangji is to Wei Wuxian even before knowing he lost his golden core. They either have insanely accurate GPS, or just really good telepathy. Wangji’s constant attention to his partner (without having to verbally find out where he is) blows my mind every time. Remember how proud Wei Wuxian was having Lan Wangji come out just in time to fight Xue Yang at Coffin Town? That’s how much Wangji’s love and trust empowers Wuxian and makes him so so so secured, even when everyone was walking around in the fog hiding from the most notorious killer and his puppets. 

The one detail that pushed me over the edge completely (thanks a lot Lan Xichen) was the story of Wangji’s mom. Oh my god, baby Wangji sitting in the snow really messes with my head. I cannot believe it took 40 something episodes for us to learn about Wangji’s emotionally damaged upbringing and what shapes him into a stubborn lovebird as we know today. It adds A LOT more context and sadness to his famous phrase ‘bring a man back to Cloud Recesses and hide him’, as well as Lan Qiren’s statement ‘have you not learned from your father’s lesson’. I revisit the ‘bring back and hide him’ scene with a completely new perspective and can sense Wangji’s pain and confusion that Xichen described. The desperation in that statement of Wangji was a lot heavier in my eyes now that I understand the back story. If I were Wei Wuxian listening to all of that from Lan Xichen, I would probably have a meltdown right there at the doorsteps of the Silence Room.

Now we all know the source of inspiration of the infamous ‘I want to bring a man to Cloud Recesses. Bring him back and hide him’ in episode 25:

So after all of Xichen’s effort in telling Wuxian how Wangji actually feels about him through the tear-jerker story about their parents, Wei Wuxian STILL asked Lan Wangji WHY he was willing to seal Bichen and his own spiritual power so that Jin Guangyao would not hurt him. This dense man, of course, brought up the guilt card i.e. ‘Oh you don’t owe me anything’. I mean COME ON NOW YILING PATRIARCH! CAN YOU ACTUALLY BE THAT OBLIVIOUS WHEN IT COMES TO THE MAN THAT TOOK 300 LASHES ON HIS BACK FOR PROTECTING YOUR LEGACY? 

I know it went the other way in the novel, where the big confession happened. Maybe a bite from Fairy could do you some good, or just talk to Lan Xichen some more and then you can start appreciating your soulmate the way he deserves.

The silver lining after being deprived of an epic love confession is everything that happened in episode 50. It might have not been spelling-it-out clear as in ‘I love you’ ‘I love you too’ because of the government censorship, but it’s easily the most obvious yet emotional type of ending the production team has worked to hard to deliver. If you are still having trouble processing the allegedly ‘ambiguous’ finale, I can help with that - here. Just a heads up: it’s a happy ending. 

Good to know Wei Wuxian has the rest of his life making up to Lan Wangji. Everyday means everyday, because Wangji deserves THAT much!