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#but she wont tell us what
raccoonfagdyke · 6 months
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#im depressed but i cant tell which one of ys is going thru it or what happened#its mostly quiet but im still so dissociated#like... i dont know whats going on and i dont know who has a problem right now or what i can do to help#i hate this part of being a system#tbh i wish u could go back to before lexapro and never realize the others were there#thus just makes things so goddamn complicated and everythings been so muddy that i cant get anything clear#i wish my brain was normal sometimes#i wish i was just one person#i honestly dont know if i can do this#like i dont even really know who i am right now and i just geel kinda blank#like everyones suddenly in hiding and im a husk of a body#i do think nox is still here#theyre the one who handles strong negative emotions but shes kinda just floating in the background#i dont know how to feel and i dont know what this is really#all i know is nox (and im sure some of the others) dont wanna be alive any more cuz we dont know what were coping with#i think its talia whos dealing with something#but she wont tell us what#im assuming its something with our brother but i honestly dont know#why is my brain like this ?#i think im blended between tonic and nox rn#which on my experience isnt a great combo#i wish i could just go into this brain and get a clear look at everything#just figure out how all of us fit together and how the cogs inside turn#but instead were on lexapro which while yea made us all aware of eachother but also dissociates us all so much that everythings foggy#no need to worry tho#were not gonna kill ourselves#apparently part of the problem is that im trying to pry before people are ready#but were not gonna die just yet#tae and arya dont want to and we need a consensus
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bluerosefox · 9 months
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Of Godsons, Fruitloops, and Lois 'I will drag all secrets out into the sun' Lane
Danny loses his parents due to their own lack of safety in the lab (death? Coma? People finally putting their foot down about the Fenton's endangering their kids? Idk pick). Jazz can't take him in due to being in college and living on its campus (and he didnt want to force her into an apartment just to keep him, he saw the prices and knows she'll have to work to make rent) and Danny fears the only place he can go to is... Vlad. (Sam's parents would never let him live with her and Tucker's place doesn't have the room)
Vlad's been lording it over Danny, smug about it all, after all he IS Danny's godfather and he has the space and money to provide for the boy in his time of need.
Only, when digging into Danny's files, his social worker discovers Vlad isn't Danny's godfather, he was meant to be but the Fenton's forgot to send/sign in the final paperwork (even if those documents were the only contact they had with Vlad over the years before the reunion)
No Danny's godparent, the person to take him should anything happen to the Fenton's is....
Lois Lane.
His mom's childhood friend.
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oatbugs · 3 months
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my research partner and i are huddled in a blanket in paddington waiting for a too-late train i already miss you and you and you
#he keeps falling asleep almost on my shoulder and waking up and readjusting but i want to tell him its ok weve seen a lot#of each other ive seen your brainwaves you called me crying a few nights ago. research partner right now is a potentiality#friend is a certainty. i met a banker passionate about finance. he said his advice made the lives of others better and he likes the numbers#more than he likes anything else. on a high rise near canary wharf the view was wonderful and the people even moreso#he said i loved her but i spent 33 grand on her and i cant do this anymore. his voice cracked talking about her. he did love her.#and she talked softly she grabbed my hand she bought me a pack of Marlborough gold she told me to snap#the russian menthol cigarettes of the tortured polish man near us with my teeth i kept staring at her teeth#bright white and sharp. i couldnt find her heartbeat but i did find warmth and i did find her lips and i did feel#how she felt pressed against a wall. a pretty boy held my hand and i gave him my number. i couldnt stop smiling about her no matter#how many runways youve walked on how many collections youve designed how many students youve taught. senior lecturer teaches me how to do#very unethical things ethically over a double shot of vodka made by the half-persian with broken farsi. she talks softly#and she says her eyes are hazel but they appear a shade of red. pure gold on her hands and leather on her back and her fingers on my lips#(she talks softly sees through me she says something i cant hear but i wont forget the way she flies) she talked to my research partner#about the possibility of moving to sunny dubai with the rest of her family and my heart felt pierced. on her arm i traces a tattoo of a#knife passing through a rose. she told me she thought there was romance in severing so i kissed her some more.#he sat me down and asked me what i loved and i told him and he said no romance no person no tragedy will take that from you.#the room was filled with a collection of people in love with something that wasnt a person and i kept looking at her.#red eyes bitten jawline beautiful hands. it is 3 degrees Celsius my head is on his shoulder i miss my friends#we walked out the lecture hall with arms linked a photo of two years ago and we both said#jesus christ. i miss you all. and i miss logic metatheory lectures. im glad i get to stare at the depth of your eyes#i wish i had met you years ago.#crushposting
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ear-motif · 9 months
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what kills me is that hannibal very clearly wants to be a provider and caregiver, but he just cant be because he can’t give up control over those he cares for
#hanniblogging#imo his drive for killing and eating his victims is yes to establish superiority over them#but what does that do? it establishes his control over them#over who? literally anyone. which means everyone. literally everyone#if anyone can be a victim the moment they cross hannibal then what does that really say. imo it says that hannibal views EVERYONE#as a potential threat#im sure he tells himself hes a god exacting old testament justice but man i dont think a god complex would sustain you this long tbh#you didnt slice beverly up and encase her in glass for the fbi to see to flaunt your power over them#they were already too close. he already lost control#beverly GOT INTO HIS FUCKING HOUSE#THE TRAINEE GIRL WHOS NAMR IM BLANKING ON JUST SAW HIS DRAWINGS AND SHE GOT TRAPPED FOR TWO YEARS!!#he let williford graham slice him up and put him behind glass and hes fucking terrified#hes bending over backwards as a warning and to scrabble for some kind of control over all of humanity bc he views everyone as a threat#bc he learned early on that everyone IS a threat. your parents wont protect you. your countrymen wont protect you. you can love someone and#they can use you while youre vulnerable with no guilt or shame#but those he cares for he also needs control over because they will be taken from you at a moments notice#so their free will doesnt really matter when youve been in fight or flight mode for 40 years straight and are convinced#they will be consumed if you dont consume them first
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yanderespamton78 · 7 days
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the current state of the arg
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sorry guys the art isnt arting D:
(btw if youre confused on why i drew turnip like that i was referencing the picrew he did ages ago bc idk it looked fun to draw anddd i dont like taking reference off real life images)
#i felt like just a lillll bit of a creep relistening to voice messages over and over to find a good quote but. yk what. it was worth it#i totally didnt take reference from the really cool face i used in that animation because im still really proud of it#idk if emi or TD have a sona but if they do im not aware of it and i didnt feel like asking so i just drew both of them as blank characters#im too stressed to scheme lol#maybe#just maybe#i need to stop drinking tea because the caffiene makes me anxious#...#naaaaahhhh#i dont really know what to do with myself atm because i dont want to work on the animation unless turnon is ok out of pure spite#this morning i was absolutely radiating stress#i have a friend who shows up so we can walk together to school and she could tell smth was off lol#i literally could not hide it at all even if i wanted too#i kept pulling my hat over my face thats the main way you can tell that im stressed#not that it really matters that you know that bc none of you are ever gonna witness that but. fun fact abt me ig#ugh#if turnon dies i am gonna cry so hard <333#and i wont finish the animation <333333333#(at this point just trying anything to get turnon back)#im gonna make a word doc#i make word docs when im stressed /hj#quick question turnip : is there a way to get turnon out of the situation he is in or is he just gonna die and theres nothing we can do#about it /gen#because i have a sneaky suspicion that we cant actually do anything about this#i swear to god#LETS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE!!#A DEFRAG MIGHT COME OUT TMR!!#its been 21 days and a defrag takes on average 20-25 days#ough#turnip and addon im gonna find where you live and i will burn your respective houses down
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acmeofficial · 2 months
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How do the agents feel about your objectives changing on a whim about every couple of days?
Like we're trying to stop vile, nope we're chasing carmen sandiego, oh well now we're after vile again great
our main goal is always vile. carmens just a stepping stone 😌but we all get paid hella good so like who the fuck cares what chief wants us to do we do it
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i need to consume something or my thoughts consume me
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hella1975 · 1 year
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tams azula is sooo fascinating bc while canon azula doesn't really show her age at all like she's completely desensitised to so much shit 'she is fourteen' is not a justification for ANYTHING both in her own mind and in other people's, in tams she has zuko. and yes the world has been abundantly cruel to her but zuko hasn't. he's basically raised azula and he's done so in a way that she's allowed to show her age, but she still only shows her age in very azula-esque ways. there's no reluctance to see violence like you'd expect from a fourteen-year-old, and like ive said before, that means zuko can't play on that reluctance in order to shield her, but he still wants to shield her from that violence because regardless of what SHE feels about it, as the eldest he knows fundamentally that she shouldn't be seeing certain things no matter how well she can handle them. and seeing zuko effectively PLAY azula in order to protect her is so interesting and complicated and fun
#and also a little heartbreaking bc it's the 'you protect azula but who protects you?'#like in order to shield azula from these things zuko is metaphorically standing in front of her and seeing them himself#as if he's not only sixteen and a child too#but yeah taking azula's canon traits and manipulating into the tamsverse is soooo fun#like the example that inspired this post is how canon azula is logical NOT cruel#like time and time again she follows only the logical route and even actively avoids the cruel route#e.g calling off torture in the boiling rock bc she knew that he was telling the truth and therefore continuing to torture him was illogical#im not saying azula is averse to/incapable of cruelty i just hc that she genuinely just thinks it's stupid#just like any other unnecessary act would be considered stupid. if it's not logical or being used for a greater plan then what's the point?#and tams azula STILL HOLDS THIS TRAIT except because i lean more into her age in tams bc she's been given the freedom with zuko#to liberally be a CHILD without any consequences as a result of that simple thing#her intense logic actually becomes a certain naivety on azula#like she cannot comprehend other people NOT coming to the conclusions she comes to#and that expands to needless cruelty. like she wont factor a person's cruelty into her calculations#because in her head all she needs to dismiss that calculation is 'excessive cruelty here would waste time which is illogical'#she assumes everyone is as smart and to-the-point as she is so when they ARENT and will actively waste time just to do dumb shit#it catches her off guard and she DOESNT PLAN FOR IT so it can really fuck them over sometimes#so this is one instance where zuko has azula beat despite it being STRATEGY aka azula's strong point#bc zuko's immense cynicism and assumption that Everyone Is Awful doesn't hold up against logic 9 times out of 10#but the one time it does is the time azula gets caught out#i just think tams zuko and azula's dynamic is so fucking interesting im so clever for that tbh#twice as many stars
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quietwingsinthesky · 27 days
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girl!jack being casually sexually harassed by dean in between threats of violence and this never being brought up beyond a vague sad line from sam about how he should stop treating her like that, would have fit right in with the vibes of late seasons supernatural. terrible things keep happening, and the only energy they can summon up about it is apathy that perpetuates the suffering.
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newtness532 · 5 months
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im so annoyed with everything today, i think i need some tasty food and a million hours of sleep and then I'll be back to normal
#the teacher at the first class today was so dibsjdhdhdhdhsgs 😫#like she was teaching us things that are like unrelated to the class that shes teaching so idek why she was teaching it#but also its things that we have been learning since the 1st semester and we've done them in at least 10 classes and she was acting like#this was the 1st time we were hearing about it#like oh yeah we're on the 7th semester of studying nutrition but no one bothered to tell us how many calories are in a gram of fat#and she gave us homework 'to see if we know this' like#oh yes i can make a meal plan for a child with crohns or cystic fibrosis or celiac disease or everything else we've done this semester and#all the other semesters but i guess i cant tell you what micronutrients are in this one breakfast meal#like fuck off and stick to what you're supposed to be teaching#anyway i know im getting more annoyed than i should but she was just even more annoying than usual today#like she interrupted the lesson every 5 minutes to yell at someome to be quiet i wasnt even aware there were people talking until she yelled#anyway#also my new earphones aren't working well idk why ive definitely not been mistreating them that much for them to break in less than a month#like i had my old pair for at least 4 years until the broke and i dont think the wire got cut in them like the sound was coming out weird#but there was sound coming out. in the new ones you need to hold them in a very specific angle for sound to come out#and like im careful with how i put them away so what is up with them?#my theory is that they make wired earphones shitty on purpose so that you will spend a lot of money and buy wireless#also we had said from Tuesday that we would hang out with my friends today but i guess they forgot or idk and they made other plans#(to go home and sleep) and during the weekend the one friend wont be here and next week my family will be here so we probably wont hang out#again until next year and we have exams almost immediately so we wont be hanging out much then either#also my period is supposed to come soon and i hope that it will either come today or it will wait until after Christmas#ideally it will never come ever again but we cant always get what we want#anyway im gonna go eat the rest of my μεσογειακό and go take a nap#jo says stuff#personal ramblings
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14 tbh
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like-sands-of-time · 10 months
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It's pretty insane that saying that arwen could have been done so much better is met with such disdain. And the way I'm seen as an Arthur stan or Gwen hater by saying that. I'm literally saying the both of them deserved better..?
Gwen (and Arthur let's be completely real here) was a victim of a show that was chronically inconsistent in their characterizations of people. She suffered (as Arthur did) from a story line that I'm sorry is just really bad. And you can still love Gwen and Arthur from legend. But I can still say this interpretation falls short in showing the growth of their relationship in a way that feels real and not just .. necessary.
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astrxealis · 9 days
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sorry to ffxivlovepost always anyway Man the way the devs & game did so good in making an mc that is Basically a blank-slate for the players, and there's so many opportunities to make your oc However you like but. the game itself adds so much story and character to that blank-slate guy. amazing
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#⋯ ꒰ა ffxiv ໒꒱ *·˚#i think abt this a lot. and also a lot of other ffxiv stuff LMFAO#it's amazing ..... drk is a huge example of this i think#bcs it plays into the guilt and whatnot the wol feels and all that. spectacular#endwalker !!!!! shadowbringers!!! the way the game uses the concept of hope is just always so beautiful and fascinating to me#and yeah bunch of games may have like. mc you create & design but not always can you like. ehvejfhsjf idk how to explain LOL#it is 4 pm i woke up 2 hours ago but priorly woke at 7 am after havingn a rlly. weird sleep.#to which my twin told me 'i wont tell u what time it is' as we went to sleep so it def was Really late#bcs we were going thru re2 and she was also playing games on steam i've been telling her to play#(to which i got her fav characters right and knew fr how'd she'd like the game LMFAO. twins amiright.)#actually that is also smth so fascinating to me bcs. i always have had someone w me in my life. i am literally never alone.#to which what i'm getting at here is Wow... it's like having a sleepover every single day. and i was a kid always sad never to have#sleepovers bcs my parents were strict (they r cool tho!) but i was a kid who wanted to experience all the kid things#but i didn't rlly but that's fine :P i am a grateful person LOL anyway back on track back on black#ffxiv... the game that u are.....#it's the 1st game that rlly actually made me invested in the ocs of others and also make a fully fledged oc that wasn't just originally mine#but for a fandom or something. and also it got me back into writing and Into making poetry and prose so. yeah.#it's amazing how much. oc x canon ???? yeah. ffxiv is so Wow#like eveyrhhting w themis or graha and how u can AAGGGHHH shit w your oc . so many possibilities#and that character. those possibilities. are already in game but also expanded by the player and the fanbade and#idk it's so beautiful to me WHAGHSGDJDH. and yes me saying themis or graha up there is self-indukgent bcs#both of them are so Insane it's so. insane!!!!! i will never forget what happened in abyssos in particular that Broke me#and anabaseios... :)) i cried so much it is almost embarrassing. and wow. asphodelos. wverything w themis just. yeah#anyway graha... self-explanatory if u know..... idk he's the character of all time to me. simply said. but themis is crazy bcs going thru ab#yssos made me think for a bit 'hey themis might be my fav character in ffxiv now' but No but also Wow. wow#kinda cute bcs me and my twin have a thing where she has a certain type of chara she likes and me too#so sometimes. most times. all times. we have our own characters we like anyway but sometimes they overlap but either the case we kinda#lowkey 'segregate???' idk if that is a good word but we do that w our fav characters. so like emet is her fav elidibus is mine.#and that was all the way in arrr alr and we barely knew spoilers so that's kinda crazy! anyway
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gayhenrycreel · 12 days
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therapy has been a wild ride. my therapist says i am absolutely a system, but says it doesn't need a label so she wont call it did or osdd or even udd. im not technically diagnosed, but i am medically recognised for guys in my brain with dissociation on the side. -Sigurd
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raineedayss · 21 days
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fun little artist tip for when your burntout but at the same time NEEED to Make The Character-use gacha! or picrew! both are good for getting the idea out of the brain and onto something you can see-example, the photo i added here, which is a gacha version of whats basically my main oc, Anex! [i know i made a post a while back about liking neon green and i need to find it.] i want to draw them but my hands physically will not allow me, so i just took a couple minutes to make them here and call it a day. very easy.
edit-found it.
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jenna-louise-jamie · 21 days
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at work i keep getting shown the “correct” ways to do things like sweeping the floor and it's driving me a bit crazy. like i can see you're doing it faster than me but can you let me do one thing at my own pace. please. because im doing it better, even if it's slower.
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