#but somehow I'm the one who wasn't trying and I'm the one who is irresponsible

[stonersolana]

i hope she burns. i hope she suffers the fate she placed herself in the way of. i hope she learns what true, genuine suffering is and i hope it eats away at her until there's nothing left. i hope she learns what it's like to be truly alone. i hope she learns what real, lasting pain is.

i hope that lying manipulative gaslighting piece of shit feels everything she put me through and i hope it breaks her. i have no compassion for someone who manipulated and gaslighted me for (5)years only to say the most ableist shit and claim that she feels no guilt for what she did to me and that her shitty boyfriend is a harmless angel(yeah, tell that to the hole in the wall he punched). she can make herself look like a victim, she's a spectacular liar, but that won't ever change the truth.

what a sick, disgusting, cowardly, ignorant and immature bitch.

[markantonys]

AITA for joining a "cult" that thinks my sister and mom are Darkfriends?

First, some backstory. I (30m) have always been an outsider in my family. It wasn't anything to do with my parents - dad (dead) always spent all his time with me instead of my younger siblings, and (step)mom (43f) always gave me extra attention compared to her bio kids because she didn't want me to feel neglected - or with my brother (21m), who's always looked up to me. It was all because of my sister (19f). She's hated and bullied me ever since she was a toddler, and I have no idea why. I guess maybe she doesn't think I'm her real brother, or blames me for telling on her whenever she did irresponsible things like climb trees and talk to strangers. All I've ever done is try to keep her safe, but she's never appreciated it.

Anyway, there's this organization (my sister claims it's a cult, though I don't think that's fair) that's dedicated to serving the Light. My mom always hated them and kept them banned from our country because she thinks they have an agenda against women who can channel, and she's one herself, as is my sister. I used to believe her, but after reading one book written by the organization's founder, I realized that my mom has a totally biased view of them and they're actually doing really important work founded on admirable principles. So when my sister went missing at the hands of women who can channel, I decided I'd had enough of those women lying to everyone all the time and I joined this organization.

I did have my view of them shaken when I found out my mom had been kidnapped, abused, and murdered by one of their leaders (turns out she's actually still alive though, don't worry about that), but I challenged that leader to an honorable duel and killed him to avenge my mom, and my friends and I rooted out a handful of other corrupt members of the organization, so now with that small minority gone, the rest of us can continue doing the Light's work and spreading awareness of the evils of the One Power.

To be clear, I OBVIOUSLY don't think my sister and mom are Darkfriends; it's only everyone else who uses the One Power who is. I've explained this to my sister multiple times but it only makes her angrier instead of grateful that I'm making an exception for her and choosing to believe the best of her. It feels like I can never do anything right in her eyes, but maybe I've somehow got the wrong understanding of the situation. So, AITA?

******

u/dainbornhald: NTA. Your sister's problem isn't actually that you joined this organization (which totally does sound 100% Light-serving). She doesn't think you're her real brother and is just looking for any excuse to continue the bullying, manipulation, and gaslighting she's been using on you since she was a toddler. [+5k votes] u/childbyar: Came here to say this. Sister sounds like a textbook abuser, and, honestly, almost definitely a Darkfriend. I'd go no contact with her, OP, and maybe get a restraining order if you have to - she's obviously unhinged. [+1.2k votes]

u/amyrlinseat: You joined a cult that thinks your sister is a Darkfriend based on an innate characteristic about her that she didn't choose and can't change (unlike you, who DID choose to join this cult), and you're whining that she's mad at you for it??? YTA [-749 votes]

u/luckyfox: YTA for the cult thing, but this whole family's got serious mommy AND daddy issues (take it from an expert). Sister resents you for getting all your parents' attention growing up, and you have a victim complex about being a stepchild/half-brother. I can only wonder what might be going on with the middle brother who wasn't mentioned much here. You guys need to go to therapy. [+2 votes] u/galaddamodred [OP]: My brother always seemed very well-adjusted, but a few hours after I made this post he actually died going on a suicide charge in battle because he thought he was unimportant enough to risk and no one would care much if he died in the attempt. Which sucks because now the only sibling I've got left is my sister who hates me. [+273 votes] u/luckyfox: oh my god [+312 votes]

[solarwynd]

Wasn't it the comapny that gave the TXT guy (yeonjun hope that's right name) cause i remember watching a clip where he was like "I'll do my best to make the title worth" or something like that. Idk if the "IT boy" title existed before jm in kpop but what i know is he made that title relevant in kpop, he made it big and literally no one (as far now) in kpop can outdo him or even reflect half of his talents and success so the 4th gen fans fighting for IT boy for their fav is funny cause at their age jimin wasn't just getting hit tweets from stan twitter but he was making it so big that his name is the first thing that ppl remembers when they hear kpop, he's with his music since his first solo, he's got streams, big numbers, sales, recognition, brands behind him, style, artistry, like there wasn't single thing left that he wasn't rulling with so it's funny if they think their favs can have that title because they got some hit tweets on twitter cause where is everything else that jm got?? Where is the reflection of that? No where so either show it your fav getting those or shut up with that title. Nothing against any of the 4th gen idols by the way it's their fans I'm talking about. Also hybe does try to push the guy alot, they do give him alot of "spotlight" and they do want to portray him as something similar to jm but it's sadly it's not happening anywhere. Neither in perfomances nor anywhere else.

Now it's pathetic how KTHs try so hard to steal ant title they can for TH cause they kinda know he's got no relevant titles. See call me an anti or whatever but this is me being a very unbiased person but for me taehyung is the most overrated idol cause he literally is not offering anything given his status. It's only because he's good that ppl love him (same case as enwoo) cases he's neither got the voice or singing, nor the dance or perfomce, and don't get me started with his personality cause kwgsisjskshsksjskdbsjsm still can't get what "unique" the fans and members see in him. Idk maybe because he's rebellious kinda guy so they find it attractive or what but for me he's childish, immature, and a irresponsible person at many occasions so yeah. KTHs be call him main-lead dancer, lead vocalists, perfomer, IT boy (they literally have it in thier @ as if they don't know who the fandom calls it with). KTHs is nothing but stealing titles and flex the followers that reflects nowhere in his artistry cause imagine friends being his first song that surpassed 100k then 300k sales in US, having those streams, Jimin outdoing him every single time with his sales and streams whie they be flexing some magzine sales like i really find it pathetic that you got nothing to flex about his artistry so you're flexing him as some model lol

“4th gen fans fighting for IT boy for their fav is funny cause at their age jimin wasn't just getting hit tweets from stan twitter but he was making it so big that his name is the first thing that ppl remembers when they hear kpop, he's with his music since his first solo, he's got streams, big numbers, sales, recognition, brands behind him, style, artistry, like there wasn't single thing left that he wasn't rulling”

.🎯

Wouldn’t even call th “overrated” because people are very honest about exactly what his main appeal is, and that’s physicality. He’s more over praised because people have concocted that everything else he puts out somehow matches the level of his attractiveness. Which is what I’ve said before about him getting away with a lot of mediocrity because of it. No one really reveres his music because there’s nothing special or memorable about it. Some will throw in his personality like you said but it’s 👎🏾 to me. Most armys are drawn to him because he’s aloof and it makes him desirable in their eyes, but he just comes off as real pretentious and snobby.

[reasonsmandy]

TRACK 3

Mystical Time

The sun was setting and you were still looking at the note this person had left you, whoever this drink was, they were right, it was extraordinary. You once again survey your surroundings for the secret admirer and your eyes only find a boat a few steps away from you, grabbing your things and quickly putting them in your bag you make your way to the floating object in the dark waters.

You make your way to the boat door, knocking a few times hoping to be answered by someone who could offer some explanation.

"May I help you miss?" A tall man opens the door, you get a little scared but try to focus on what brought you there.

"Yeah actually, I got this letter... I was wondering if you knew who could have given it to me." You hand the paper to the man who collects it in his calloused hands, staring at the letters, not happy.

"Did my employee give you this during his work?" You are taken by surprise by the question, he observes the glass in your hand and you notice that he recognizes the object "That's mine." He roughly takes the glass from your hand. "The guy that gave you this is someone extremely irresponsible who will be fired in the morning! Have a good night miss." He threatens to close the door.

"Hey wait, I don't want anyone to get in trouble because of me."

"I never liked him anyway, Rojas... what a dumb fucking name" He seems mad and you feel really uncomfortable.

Before the man could discard the note, your hand shot out, snatching it back with determination, your eyes darted to the initials engraved on the back – W.R. – a subtle detail that sparked a flicker of recognition within you.

"I'm sorry, but can I keep this?" You asked, your voice trembling slightly with nerves.

The man regarded you with a mixture of curiosity and suspicion, but he shrugged nonchalantly. "Suit yourself," he muttered, turning to leave.

You watched him go, your mind racing with questions and possibilities. You tucked the note safely into your bag, a newfound sense of purpose driving you forward. You didn't know who W.R. was or why he had chosen to reach out to you, but you were extremely sad that you harmed him somehow.

Y/n Rojas L/n: You see, that day haunted me for a while *looks down sadly*

"It's so weird you know." Warren says, looking at his half melted ice cream.

"What?" You felt nervous for some reason, waiting for his response.

"This feeling of deja vu every time I look at you" He chuckles, and you find it very adorable.

You laugh nervously, trying to play it cool. "Maybe we knew each other in a past life or something," you joke, hoping to lighten the mood.

Y/n Rojas L/n: I thought to myself "how long can I take this?". In my defense I thought it'd be funny to reveal we actually had met before. *blushes*

"You know, what's your full name again? Maybe we do know each other." You go on with your playful tone.

"Warren Rojas" As soon as you hear it, your body freezes, you swallow hard, trying to hide your surprise.

W.R

"Rojas, what a dumb fucking name..."

Y/n Rojas L/n: I panicked, I mean... What were the odds? I made the guy lose his job, I felt terrible!

Warren Rojas: *shrugs looking at his shoes*

Interviewer: So you decided to lie about knowing him?

Y/n Rojas L/n: It wasn't my first decision, my plan was to see if he was indeed the guy from the note and then well... Things got a little more complicated.

Warren Rojas: When we came back they had already recorded the song, we talked for a while and left when it was all done.

Y/n Rojas L/n: You see, when coincidences happen so many times we don't expect another one to happen. I didn't clarify anything because I was sure I wouldn't see him again other than at some record company events. But in the end, that wasn't what Daisy had in mind.

Daisy Jones: In August 1977 we became Daisy Jones and The Six *says proudly* I just had to find a way to explain to Y/n that I had other plans...

Interviewer: And how did that go?

Daisy Jones: Well...

"What do you mean you're gonna join them?" Your arms crossed over your chest so stiff it hurt a little.

"They are great and we work well together!" Daisy says with her hands on her hips.

"I thought we worked together too." You try to hide the way you're hurt with this whole situation.

"We do but— Look Y/n, you can still write with us." She holds your hands and you avoid her eyes.

"I tried so hard for this, I thought...” You try to stop yourself from crying. "Do you really think Billy will let both of us in?"

Daisy stays silent, you shake your head.

Y/n Rojas L/n: Well, I was right. Billy hated the idea and I lost my partner in crime, it'd be a shitty day If it wasn't for *opens a small smile*

"I said no Daisy!" Billy almost shouts, your body shivers as you feel embarrassed with the situation.

The rest of the band hadn't arrived yet, it was just you, Daisy, Billy and Teddy having a discussion about how things would go from now on. Your eyes were fixed on your lyric notebook as Daisy and Billy argued like a married couple.

"Why do you have to be such a jerk all the time?" You could swear Daisy's eyes were on fire.

"I'm being a jerk? You're the one who just got in the band and wants to choose everything!" He responds with a sneer, rolling his eyes. "We need everyone's opinion before deciding anything"

"Look, I don't want to cause any fight..." Your voice comes out almost in a whisper.

"Like you let anyone in this band choose anything." Daisy ignores what you say and goes on with the fight.

Billy rolls his eyes and opens his mouth when he's interrupted by a certain drummer.

"Hey, have y'all seen my timbale sticks?" The curly-haired man invades the meeting room. "Oh, important meeting... My bad"

Instead of leaving, he stops and observes those present, smiling when his eyes fall on yours. You give him a small smile and he winks at you, sitting by Teddy's side at the table.

"So, what are you discussing?" He crosses his arms over his bare chest, whether or not his presence lightens any atmosphere.

"Daisy wants to join the band and bring along her whole fucking family." Billy says, rolling his eyes. "No offence." He says at you.

You don't even bother to answer him, looking at your hands all the time.

"I thought we agreed that Daisy would join us." Warren says, clearly confused.

"Yes, but now she wants Y/n to join us as a song writer." The older Dunne looks at Teddy like asking for help.

"And what's the matter?" He still doesn't get it.

Billy scoffs, and Daisy gives Warren an approving smile.

Interviewer: So you joined the band?

Y/n Rojas L/n: Not exactly...

"I had an idea" Warren says, looking directly at Price.

"Warren this is important." Billy disagrees not even listening to him.

"I thought you needed the band's opinion" Daisy says under her breath.

"Will you too please give it a rest?" You say louder than intended. They all look at you.

Warren Rojas: If you think you've seen someone hot? It's because you haven't seen my wife mad *smirks, and slowly realizes* Don't tell you father I said that to you.

"Why don't you work as a ghost writer for the company?" Warren finally makes his suggestion, your eyes light up. "She can help us without being strictly linked to the band, still growing her career."

Y/n Rojas L/n: There is no one more generous than my husband, and now see if you understand me... How could I tell him that I knew him and consequently tell him I made him lose his job, after that?

"Would you be interested in that Y/n?" Teddy says, looking proud at Rojas.

"Of course!" You can't help your excitement.

"So we agree, from now on you will work for us and you guys will officially be Daisy Jones and The Six" Price smiles at all of you, even Billy seems okay with the situation. "Tomorrow I'll bring the paper for everyone to sign, but until then you guys better get to work!"

Daisy and Billy leave the meeting room while discussing how they should go about this change, you still stand there trying to process everything that just happened when you hear Teddy's ringtone and watch you leave you and Warren by yourselves.

"Thank you so much." You turn to Warren, a huge smile on your face. "I really don't know how to thank you..."

"What about joining me for dinner tonight?" He says with hopeful eyes.

Y/n Rojas L/n: He was so adorable that day...

Warren Rojas: You hear that? I'm adorable *grins*

Y/n Rojas L/n: So Warren and I started to see each other, you know, some dates here and there *smiles with the memory* but at the same time we weren't sure of how things actually worked between us. I guess I got overwhelmed by the whole situation I was keeping as a secret, every time we got way too close I pushed him away.

Warren Rojas: If I wasn't sure? Well, I really liked her and even though I saw other women in the meanwhile, things with her were different... I just felt that she didn't want anything with me. *shrugs* Until that night...

"Alright, let's hear for Y/n!" Billy says drawing applause, offering you a small smile. "Y/n here is gonna be helping us with the final touches for the album."

Warren's playful gaze lingers on you, his smile suggestive as he winks in your direction. The air crackles with anticipation as Roundtree steps closer, his hand enveloping yours as he presses a kiss to your knuckles.

Before Roundtree's lips can meet your skin, Rojas intervenes, his grip firm as he pulls his friend back, a hint of possessiveness in his voice. "What do you think you're doing?" Rojas's tone is low, a subtle warning in his words.

Eddie chuckles at the exchange, rolling his eyes at his best friend.

"It's nice having you." Karen says to you, her words offering a sense of welcome and ease in the midst of the charged atmosphere.

"Yeah bella." Rojas puts out his cigarette getting closer to you. He kisses your cheek "So nice." He whispers in your ear.

You feel a shiver down your spine, as you thank them all for having you there.

Y/n Rojas L/n: He was so fucking hot that day *sighs*

"So first we would like you to hear the songs before the mixing and after it." Billy says showing you the way towards the sound table. "Daisy and I are working on the last song we're having a hard time finishing, but you can feel free to write some ideas and give your thoughts."

"I can show her, no worries." Warren grabs your hand, looking into your eyes.

"Of course you can, you dog." Eddie smirks clicking his tongue on the roof of his mouth.

Warren Rojas: Eddie was a pain in the ass that day.

"And what are we supposed to do in the meanwhile?" Graham asks, crossing his arms.

"I guess you guys can have a day off." Daisy says, looking at all of them.

Y/n Rojas L/n: So Eddie was the first to leave, after that Graham gave Karen a ride.

Warren Rojas: Billy and Daisy went to Teddy's house, for some reason they liked to write the songs there. So basically, we had the place to ourselves *smirks*

Y/n Rojas L/n: I tried my best to keep my distance from him, there was something about him that drove me crazy. When everyone left that day I was sure I wouldn't make it that day. *looks at the camera embarrassed*

✧.* 📚 — Hello! So, my first time writing something with more than two parts. I hope you like it because I'm very excited about my ideas. As it is different content, I don't know if I will use the same taglist that I always use. So here's the new one (in case you want to be tagged)

✧.* taglist — @cieopatrasss @neptunes-curse @boredshit-shadow @boouoy @softstarlite @xopearlz @nakedmolerat @coldonexx

[justmybookthots]

Legendborn

Um??????????

I put this book off for so long because a) I heard the next book in the series only comes out in 2025 and I didn't want to be left hanging, and b) I wasn't the biggest fan when I heard there was a (sigh) love triangle in there. And yet here I am, having finished it at long last.

Confession: I was/am in the middle of something like a reading slump. February has not been kind to me with my reads. When the Ann Liang book I was anticipating for months let me down horrifically, ALL the books that followed either fell flat too or were just… middling. I went through book after book feeling empty, and then I told myself: you know what. Legendborn has been on EVERYONE and their mother's radar, and their responses are the same—near unanimous acclaim. It's honestly quite insane.

So I took a gamble. I got the book and started reading it. 

You can TELL. You can just TELL when a book hits right for you, unlike the ones I read before it. I was hooked. Engaged. Totally captivated. I'd read and DNFed another fantasy book just weeks ago, which also utilised King Arthur lore (titled Silver in the Bone), but somehow Legendborn succeeded where that story failed (for me). Maybe I'm just a basic bitch who's a sucker for the typical storyline of a normal girl finding herself entangled with a group of monster slayers and doing tournaments to become one of them. (Is this why… I was instantly enthralled with the Infernal Devices??? Or why I love Demon Slayer—the anime—so much????? I am finding out new things about myself.)

But sure… the beginning isn't anything too different from traditional YA structures. But as you get going, and you continue down the road, you start to see new grounds being tread, and it deviates from anything I've personally read as a teen.

As usual, even though I loved this book, I'm going to do what I almost always do and explore the dichotomy of what I liked and didn't.

Spoilers abound. 

Didn't like:

It was predictable… up to a point (and then I was GOBSMACKED but we'll get to that later). Like, I knew pretty quickly which characters were going to make it to Squires and which weren't. You could just tell from how the author treated certain Pages (the folks trying to be Squires) in a more favourable light. The nice ones win, the not-nice ones don't. I'd have liked more nuance in their characterisation, TBH.

Speaking of which, however, Bree's characterisation at the start was rough. Like, she'd do stupid shit and get in trouble and continue being irresponsible. I wasn't surprised Alice was mad at her, and I don't think that the trouble she faced stemmed solely from her race but rather her irresponsible behaviour (going off-campus when she already knows that's grounds for expulsion and she STILL gets mad when the dean, who decides to let her off, is churlish with her. Seriously?). That said, I am NOT Black, and I can't speak for the quotidian prejudices they face, so take my perception of it with a grain of salt. In any case, Bree changed and this was no longer an issue for me later on.

Nick. And his whole romance with Bree. Like, I really did NOT care. And Nick was pretty much a white boy-damsel in distress the entire story. Every time screen time was devoted to their romance, my eyes would glaze over and I'd start skimming all the kissing and stuff. 

There were a lot of characters. Like, a lot. Too many. My brain was scrambling trying to remember and place everyone in their different roles. And aside from a few (bless William), they didn't have very distinct voices. Greer had, like, ZERO distinctive voice other than being non-binary, which should not be the only thing to define a character. Whitty was… nice, is all? Everyone kinda just melded in my brain, which is probably why none of the character deaths really hit me. 

I'm not a huge fan of Chosen One tropes. But this does play on the trope in a VERY interesting way. 

WHAT I LIKED (!!!!!!!!!!!):

The whole concept of Root and Bloodcraft. I LOVED how the author used magic to convey the colonisation of white men. The idea that Legendborns forcefully TAKE their power, while non-Bloodcraft users only borrow their power, speaks volumes to me. It was such a good way to portray real life.

Also??? The ending twist about Bree????? All along, I was convinced she was secretly the Scion of Lancelot, but I wasn't sure HOW, because all the knights are obviously white. And then the author pulls a fast one on me and she's actually fucking Arthur. The reasoning is so good. I loved how the White Man's own cruelty and their disgusting ownership of Black people led them to this predicament. I think THIS was the part that truly sold me on how terrific and unique this book was.

Characters-wise… William. Like, I adore the fuck out of him. In another world, in an even less conventional book, William would have been the hero for me. He's exactly my type with how calm and confident he was without needing to be overbearing about it. In fact, he was so gentle. (Makes me think of Jem Carstairs, but obviously Jem is THE published blueprint for types like this.)

Sel. Yes, I know I just talked about how I didn't like overbearing characters, and I initially went into this book expecting to hate him, but… :) I thought he was quite justified in his hatred / distrust towards Bree at first, knowing what he knew about how the mesmer and Oaths didn't take. I'll see if my opinion of him changes in the sequel. 

I  really, really liked how for once, King Arthur wasn't depicted as just some hero. He actually seemed almost villainous in this book, especially in the moments when Bree was possessed by him. What happened to her supposedly getting wisdom when she Awakened, though? This man does not sound wise at all. I am intrigued.

I am so glad I read this book. SO GLAD. I was down in the dumps for a bit and finally reading a good fantasy made me feel a thousand times better. I'm a bit nervous reading the sequel because some things often don't live up to their predecessor, so I shall see.

- 28 Feb 2024

[mlobsters]

supernatural s5e13 the song remains the same (w. sera gamble, nancy weiner)

sometimes forget they banged in the impala, but then i'm like why is dean being so soft and familiar with her? oh right. anyway, kind of sweet this little interaction in dean's pg-13 stripper dream.

when he wakes up, there's a little chime that sounds just like a doorbell that's been muffled (in my house specifically to try to keep it from waking up a sleeping infant). anyway, the sound design on the original score is rarely very creative, kudos to them. startles the shit out of me every time, but good job on something interesting

ANNA Sam Winchester has to die.

this surely is going to end well for all parties involved.

there was a boy in my high school who had a fucking gorgeous late 70s black pontiac firebird trans am, god the rumble on its engine was delicious. i think i somehow got a ride somewhere with him at one point. he was a cute and smart boy but honestly the car was it.

DEAN So, what, you're like a Delorean without enough plutonium?

CASTIEL I don't understand that reference.

tell him, cas! i just complained about the number of references they use in this show a few episodes ago

cas sure folded like an ugly tan trench coat. "i should go alone" dean: "🥺" ok zap

SAM He's breathing. Sort of.

the line about buying microsoft stock reminds me when i was in middle school i think? there was a project where you had to "buy" a stock and then track its price in the newspaper over some number of days/weeks. imagine that. using the newspaper to check stock prices. ~it was the 90s~

all right so wasn't cas's point back when dean met mary to begin with that you can't change destiny? so isn't this all moot? when does #TeamFreeWill become a thing

JOHN Shut up, all of you! Look, not another word, or so help me, I will turn this car around!

DEAN Wow. Awkward family road trip.

SAM No kidding.

just like home, right, guys?

he reminds me of a combination teen wolf derek (tyler hoechlin) superman (henry cavill variant). one tv superman+one movie superman=young john winchester

SAM Pretty much forever. My dad raised me in it.

JOHN You're serious? Who the hell does that to a kid?

SAM Well, I mean, for the record, Mary's parents did.

JOHN I don't care. You know, what kind of irresponsible bastard lets a child anywhere near—you know, you could've been killed!

SAM I, uh...came kind of close.

JOHN The number it must've done on your head...your father was supposed to protect you.

laughing out loud. i'm sorry sera and nancy, i will always appreciate any and all john winchester shade, and especially unknowingly delivered by john winchester -- but i believe 0.00% late 70s generic straight white man has the emotional intelligence for this thought process / willingness to speak on it / willingness to talk shit about someone's father (a stranger no less) to their face

and i do not appreciate that it caused sam to come rushing to john's defense. gross child neglect, bro. y'all wrote this story and you gotta live with the consequences of how horrifyingly awful of a parent you made him be. just say no to the rehabilitation of john winchester

DEAN You have no other choice. There's a big difference between dying and never being born. And trust me, we're okay with it, I promise you that.

have they talked about this? they're both totally chill with never existing??

DEAN Team Free Will. One ex-blood junkie, one dropout with six bucks to his name, and Mr. Comatose over there. It's awesome.

oh, well. there you go

MARY Ohh...quite a kick there. Troublemaker already. It's okay, baby. It's all okay. Angels are watching over you.

so did michael scrub her brain but also leave some pro-angel bias in there? she said there's no such thing previously about angels. just how much did he scrub? i wonder how much is retcon and how much was actually planned. i imagine i could find the answer if i looked but i kind of like consuming this show in my little bubble the way i do. also, effort

[bugbyte]

Starving Artist Conundrums

I need to figure out how to try and expand my income streams, which you would think would be fairly simple as an artist because there (should be) are tons of ways to sell an image, but not necessarily. I'm tired of constantly playing games with SNAP and healthcare couple of months because I have no safety net if these things fail. This month is getting really, really close to losing it all, through no fault of my own, it's just one person who won't answer their phone and keeps "losing" documents. So, somehow, I have to figure out how people do this. For everything I learned in art school, there wasn't a moment of business education, which is wild considering how many of us were like, painters or sculptors. I was neither, but, how. The irresponsibility of it.

I've had to weed out Society6 and Redbubble from my circle of shop sites because of the weird fee structure they both implemented. I don't have the energy to figure all that out. I'm starting to put things on Threadless, which I've had for a while but haven't used much. I've been investigating Inprnt which I've heard mixed things about lately. Teepublic has done good by me for the most part, but since they're part of Redbubble I don't know how long that's going to last.

I would really like to get back into streaming, because I'm theoretically like halfway or better to a Twitch payout, but I need a few things to make a setup that works for my pain situation, namely a long-ass ethernet cable so I can keep up a fast enough connection. I used to have one, but I think it got given away when we moved for bonkers reasons I cannot remember. Anyway, I have one on my wishlist now that should be the right length, I hope: https://throne.com/radiochio

I really need to knuckle down and finish Follower Volume 1, not that it'll save me financially (probably the opposite) but at least there's the hope that I can at least make, like, a little grocery money from it now and again, or pay the phone bill.

All of this is complicated by the fact that my drawing days are limited/unreliable until I can get my pain under control, which is totally at the whim of doctors' referrals ending up in the right places and/or people actually calling me back as they're supposed to. Also on the medicine working, which thus far nothing has. Let me tell you, it is deeply frustrating to go to appointment after appointment and repeat that no, even tripling the normal dose of ibuprofen doesn't touch what I have happening and I don't want to destroy my organs so I just. Don't deal with it anymore. I am begging for help and no one cares or believes me.

Anyway, life's rough when you're physically pretty limited and perpetually broke. At the very least the new meds they gave me don't make me want to sleep all day, instead they just do nothing at all. Is that a win? I'm not sure.

[weebsinstash]

the overturning of Roe v Wade happened and pregnancy felt disgusting and a physical threat to be defeated

I felt that. I an asexual person with zero intention of getting married or having a baby but seeing Roe v Wade, I just... feel the need to have my tubes tied? Which should not even be a thing I consider since I have no plans to have sex. Those radical religious/misogynisitc views that are popping up nowadays just make me feel very disgusted at things that are... Really not horrible. Nothing wrong about being a housewife, or getting pregnant, but the way those incels with a mic talk about women in their podcasts just create very unhealthy relationships between women and "womanhood"/traditionally feminine things.

What's so fucked up is like the exact same people saying shit like "oh these gross LGBTQRSTUV alphabet mafia freaks are trying to groom and molest our kids! How dare they try to say kids need to learn about safe sex and periods and not to send nudes or address sex in any way other than abstinence!" will then turn around say "wow, asexuals? How UNNATURAL. You aren't PROCREATING like GOD INTENDED. You're ALSO somehow grooming our kids" and it's just like. Fuck. Leave people alone about their fucking sexuality and gender presentation.

And then sometimes I try to discuss this with my mom because like we discuss politics a lot and she's, you know, a woman and has raised me and ill seek her perspective as my mom and a woman and an adult, and sometimes she'll just be "oh don't read all that, youre getting upset over trolls, people are just stupid" ok well these stupid people can VOTE and sometimes these stupid people ARE the ones we're voting for!!! Like! I'm so tired of seeing bullshit like Americans saying "haha good on Country XYZ for making it legal to beat those t slurs in public, this is just MODERN WESTERN PROPAGANDA" and I want to scream shit like "India has recognized trans people for over 3000 years you fucking bigoted moron"

Like!!! Ugh!! Should I be furious or sad!!! (Putting the rest under a rm because this gets a little long and I also discuss abortion/miscarriage)

Fucking idiots saying shit like "oh just use birth control there's like 30 kinds" and guess what motherfucker literally the only 100% effective ones involve SURGERY. Even my OWN MOTHER got pregnant on a diaphragm. Fuck you! Fuck you! You think abortions are being used as birth control? I know at least two people who've had them and they can be ABSOLUTELY EXCRUCIATING, I am talking SCREAMING TO STOP THE PROCEDURE KINDS OF PAIN. "Oh women just want to avoid accountability" bitch some of them don't want to DIE, some of them can't raise a disabled child, some of them have diseases and conditions that can't be passed on

I... may have had some risky sex a while back with, minor precautions, ok I'll be the dumb irresponsible slut and say the pull out method was used, and while nothing came of that, obviously, literally my game plan after it happened and post nut clarity hit was "ok well I know if I need an abortion there are people who literally terrorize you outside the clinics so maybe I'll just kill myself". And you know what, I wasn't even intending to do that kind of thing, the unsafe sex, it was just, you know, happened fast and in the heat of the moment, and it happened briefly. Even I, as someone who has never wanted children and FEARED motherhood all my life, made that kind of mistake. And I spent the following three weeks in absolute TERROR waiting for my period, thinking of all the people who would happily force me to carry a child that would no doubt inherit my physical disability, my genetic disorders, and wouldn't be wanted by me or the father (and im not saying that as anything against him we are both very anti kid lol)

It's so upsetting because like, people have different opinions, and in some cases can you really say if an opinion is right or wrong? But so often do I see things that are inhumane, grotesque even. I was reading a story of a woman who was forced to carry a malformed fetus to a full pregnancy where it passed that same day. Here you have a woman who was forced to deliver what was essentially a corpse, the trauma that must have caused her, not just in mind but also in body. 9 months, 9 months of knowing it was being born just to die. And. People were legitimately replying "better that than to be ripped limb from limb inside the womb" that's a specific form of third trimester abortion which wasn't even what she was asking for you fucking idiot. "Better for the baby to know its mother's touch" it literally didn't have a properly formed brain and we don't even know if it could have even SENSED anything besides agony. "I would have wanted to hold my baby before it passed" you would have let a fetus which had abnormalities discovered in the first trimester to fully develop into a child so it could die in horrible pain just for your moral closure?

I read a comment just a few days ago that was legitimately one of the most disgusting things I had ever read and dear God I hope this person was lying but they said "I know a catholic woman who was pregnant and found out her baby would be born terminal and die shortly after birth. She carried it the full pregnancy so she could baptize it" THAT'S ABHORRENT. For you non religious folk, which I am too but I have some secondhand knowledge, the point of baptism is the idea that we are all born into sin and must be like cleansed to be children of God or something like that. And to be blunt I consider this woman an absolute monster and I replied as such.

"She let a newborn baby suffer in agony just so she could dip it in her magic fairy water? And she thinks she's the GOOD GUY?"

It's just. Ugh. I don't even know. I use culture and country as an excuse for religious freedom and sexual and gender expression (ie. Banning trans people from being visible is prejudiced to Indians, Native Americans, Samoans, Judaism, etc) but then people turn around and say "but it's my culture or religion to be homophobic/not allow abortion" and then I just want to say "well you're just an idiot who can't think for themselves then and you need to get with the fucking times :)" like obviously I am not perfect but I believe basic human rights transcends borders and beliefs. Like for example, similar but different, Malaysia is about to literally hang a man just for having a kilo of weed and people are happily saying "don't do the crime if you can't do the time" and its like do you understand it's inherently problematic to just say "their country, their rules" right. Like some places use that as an excuse to keep forms of slavery. Like to circle the argument back around states rights was an argument to try and keep slavery and now states rights is being used as an argument to criminalize abortion?

Like I try not to bring the vibe here down too often but these conversations are important. We as human beings should be helping and protecting each other and I feel a legitimate fear of society approaching some sort of social collapse or civil war. Like even if you're opposed to abortion you should actually still be voting in favor of keeping abortion because, if abortion is outlawed on moral and religious grounds, it will start the ball rolling for banning other medical procedures out of opinion and not fact. You know we already let the insurance companies do that right? Tell people their life savinf treatment isn't covered because they don't deem it medically necessary even though insurance agents arent doctors? Even on my main blog I boosted a post about a person with severe endometriosis who is being denied a hysterectomy because of their weight by the NHS but a private clinic will save them for a price, and meanwhile the endo is impacting organs outside their reproductive system

It's just. God. I'm sorry I guess I went all over the place in this post but everything is so scary now. Transphobia is on the rise, homophobia, racism, gun violence, they keep finding horrible child labor shit like 15 year olds cleaning slaughterhouses, even in my current blue state, red senators are arguing we should let young teens do construction, they're changing legislation on healthcare, on the internet, on student loans, inflation is HUGE NOW, rent is skyrocketing, homelessness is rising, just

It can be hard to keep your head up you know? I try not to be a doom and gloomer but there's legitimately scary shit happening? Like I didn't even touch on climate change and how all of these issues are going to intersect and snowball until our entire species is fucked. I know what I'm voting in 2024 but, it doesn't make anything less terrifying. If we weren't protected before, if we still really aren't now, can we really trust it to happen in the future?

[kleenexwoman]

If Bucky Was Captain America Instead

Tony: Everything special about you came out of a bottle.

Bucky: Yeah, well, everything special about your dad went *into* a bottle.

Tony: that's not funny, my dad's alcoholism contributed to my traumatic childhood

Bucky: okay, I'm from the 40's, we either joked about this stuff like it was normal or never talked about it at all

Tony: oh no me too, I have never gone to a therapist that wasn't court-ordered. Anyway, my dad never showed me any affection or support and constantly made me feel inadequate in every possible way. And you were the ideal he constantly compared me to, so you can probably understand why I lashed out at you at first. That was entirely due to my own insecurities, and I'm sorry.

Bucky: I mean, I know, I read your profile.

Tony: Really? Natasha said she thought I was a narcissist.

Natasha: No, your dad was a narcissist. You've learned a lot of behavioral patterns from him, but also from reacting to him -- like hypervigiliance, a tendency toward all-or-nothing thinking when you're stressed, and intense outwards self-destructive acts in order to either seek or divert attention. I mostly just wanted to shock you into action. I honestly didn't think you'd internalize that.

Pepper: I was kind of counting on it, actually. My veneer of personal superiority over you really depends on you thinking that you can't possibly handle your own affairs without me. Your sense of irresponsibility is probably due to an undiagnosed executive function cluster disorder, with the guilt exacerbated by your parents and everyone around you assuming that you were being selfish or not living up to your potential, but nobody ever bothered to teach you any real coping strategies until Rhodey literally came along in college and helped you learn how to study.

Rhodey: I did that, yes. I feel at least partially responsible for your success in life because of that. Am I saying you owe me one, like how your continued contract with the United States military has helped my career with me as your liaison? I'm not NOT saying that.

Thor: wow, you humans are being very honest. Are you always like this? It's really inspiring, but somehow you all remind me of Loki when he's roasting someone. Even though you're all being very polite now.

Loki: THOR! I FIGURED OUT HOW TO WORK THIS STAFF! WE CAN DEFEAT THANOS AND GO HOME!

Bruce: wait, I want a breakthrough.

Clint: Oh yeah, man, try EMDR and beta-blockers. Worked wonders for my PTSD from all of the many, many traumatic things I've been through. I'm managing my clinical depression, and I have a farm with a wife and kids.

Natasha: I'm in the local Big Brothers Big Sisters program and thinking about fostering. There's more than one way to nurture young people. And this way, I can create an entire army of knife-wielding vigilantes who are loyal to me.

Bruce: so you two are already, y'know... Self-actualized?

Natasha: I mean, it's a process, but I'm feeling pretty good about where I am in it.

Clint: I can refer you, if you want. Dr. Emma Frost. She doesn't take co-pays or insurance, she just finds the person who she decides is responsible for the issues you talked about that session and telepathically persuades them to pay the bill.

Clint: Fury is going pretty broke from the whole thing.

Fury: I am not. That's my fun money for Mistress Diamond Bedazzla. She makes me put on a governess outfit and read her bedtime stories with swears in them.

Clint: yeah, she has fun with it.

[vole-mon-amour]

"The one who's responsible for it all." You're a fucking idiot. You absolute baboon. You irresponsible fuck. "Oooh, he granted me the mark knowing what I'll do. Let's kill him." YOU decided to kill Jessamine. YOU killed all those people before and after that. YOU accepted the mark when it was offered. YOU and no one else made that decision.

Somehow both Corvo and Emily had the mark, yet I left every single person untouched when I played as them. Canon should have killed you a long time ago, you sick fuck.

God, I hate Daud so much. I only just freed him in DOTO and he's already got my blood boiled. Who fucking thought that was gonna be a good idea? Who thought I'm gonna read "The knife of Dunwall" where it's described that he regrets killing Jessamine and suddenly feel "oh, poor little meow meow, didn't do anything wrong in his life, ever, deserves immediate forgiveness"? He still fought Corvo when Corvo came after him. He didn't regret it even one bit.

"I killed one empress and saved another." You didn't do SHIT. You kidnapped Emily. You left a young girl basically an orphan, signing a contact of her suffering for the upcoming years, that's what you did. Forced to grow up without a mother and her dad (that wasn't officially known as her dad, so he couldn't claim that name) constantly trying to fight back and protect her from those men in power.

Daud can trip over his own sword and choke on his own blood. Even the fact that we find a note addressed to Billie where it says that Daud never stopped killing, even after all the events. Die, asshole, die. You didn't deserve your own game.

(And I know that he dies, but it's not nearly enough. Way too late.)

[catsafarithewriter]

A/N: part 15 of the double fake dating au :D

X

It was only when all eyes turned to her that Haru realised she'd actually said that thought outloud.

"Oh my goodness gracious!" exclaimed Louise AKA Baron's sister AKA Haru's new sister-in-law. "And this must be the infamous Mrs Haru von Gikkingen!"

Haru found herself swept up in am embrace comprised of a surprisingly strong grip and an excessive amount of sleeves. Really. It was a feat in of itself that Louise could somehow locate her own hands.

When Louise drew back, Haru was treated to eyes as blue as Baron's were green. "You may have noticed," she said conspiringly, "but the ladies here are a little outnumbered by the men."

"When you say it like that," said the tortoiseshell, "you make it sound like that was the reason you married me."

Louise glanced back to her wife. "It wasn't the only reason," she teased. "Oh," she added, turning to her brother, "and this is my ex-girlfriend."

"You have to stop introducing me that way," the tortoiseshell chided. She leant forward and offered a paw. "Sephie von Gikkingen. Louise's wife."

Baron took the paw first. "Humbert von Gikkingen. Have we... met before? You seem familiar."

There was a playful glint in Sephie's eyes as she replied, "You'd be surprised how often I hear that."

Haru's mind finally caught up to Louise's earlier wording. "I'm infamous?"

"But of course!" trilled Louise, evidently delighted to be the one to break the news. "My baby brother–"

"You're older than me by ten minutes."

"–turning up with a wife no one knew of until the week before? Scandalous!"

"Says the woman who didn't even deign to tell her own twin brother she was getting married," Baron reminded her.

"Yes, but that's me! You're meant to be the sensible, predictable one. Everyone expects me to do something charmingly rash and irresponsible, but you?" She raised a hand to her heart, the very picture of older sister pride. "It's finally happened. My bad influence has rubbed off on you."

Haru sidled round to Louise's wife, who hadn't lifted a claw to deter the squabbling, and seemed to be only regretting her lack of popcorn.

"Do you have siblings?" Sephie asked.

"No. Just me."

"I'm also an only child," Sephie said. She watched the proceedings with unworried curiosity. Baron had begun recounting the cape incident in some bizarre attempt to prove he could make bad decisions free of his sister's influence. "I rather get the impression this is a sibling thing."

Another handful of moments passed, in which the conversation inexplicably moved onto Louise accusing her brother of trying to upstage her marriage with his dark horse of a wedding.

"I think this might just be a von Gikkingen thing," Haru replied.

[ursafootprints]

pray tell what are gone fishing and neighbor's cat flash about? heheheeheh and i can guess what aliens2electricboogaloo is huehuehuehue snippet? ououououo

and tell me about your color coding system? c:

(In regards to my WIP/snippet meme!)

gone fishing (NOT the actual title lmao) is my Starkercest AU where Peter does not tell his dad about his new superpowers because he wants to prove himself as a superhero first, and then is very, very irresponsible with his secret identity once Iron Man starts flirting with the new hero on the scene. (Or in other words, he catfishes his dad.) It has also literally been like 95% complete since June but I keep just not working on the only scene I have left to finish, you gotta love ADHD.

It was maybe one of the most awkward moments in his life full of awkward moments, but the next time Peter saw Iron Man on patrol, he did find the strength to take him aside and say, "About-- last time--" "Oh, we're going to talk about it," Iron Man said, and it was so hard to read his tone when he was in the suit, but Peter thought he sounded nervous. "Yeah, um," Peter said, rubbing at the back of his neck and trying to remember the script he'd come up with. "I'm-- sorry for running off like that, I know that wasn't-- super mature, but I just… panicked a little, because I'd never thought about… if you actually…" 'Wanted me' stuck itself under Peter's tongue and wouldn't come out, because thinking about someone wanting him still felt foreign and ridiculous and embarrassing, and he was agonizingly aware that he was talking to his dad in a way that he wished he would have been when Tony had kissed him, and when he didn't finish his sentence Tony shrugged.

neighbor's cat Flash is a SpideyFlash fic where Flash essentially annoys Spider-man into being friends with him (much like your neighbor's cat who pressgangs you into being their second owner even though you KNOW they're getting fed across the street because they just keep showing up at your door and aggressively demanding your attention,) and over time they turn into real friends(/Flash's immature hero crush becomes a very real and present crush) and it causes ~ripples~ for their dynamic at school because Flash stops being such an asshole under Spidey's influence. Lots of exploration of Flash's home life/internalized homophobia/things that I think would be interesting if they were influencing his canonical assholishness!

I don't have a genuine snippet to share because it's only in outline form, but it IS 100% outlined from beginning to end-- I'm not sure if I'll actually write it or just rework the outline into a bulletpoint fic, since I came up with the idea during the very narrow window between first getting into MCU Spider-man fandom and then pivoting H A R D to specifically Starker fandom, haha.

You know EXACTLY what aliens2electricboogaloo is lmao, but for everyone who doesn't, this is an idea of @king-of-kaoss's riffing on the scene in Infinity War where Peter's like, "if an alien lays eggs in my chest and I eat you, I'm sorry," and that's not exactly what happens but Peter DOES end up as a mutated monster alien thing and he makes it Tony's problem in a sexy way.

Peter crowded Tony against the wall and bent to bring those sharp teeth toward his throat, and if Tony couldn't believe how many things he'd survived just to get his throat ripped out by the mutated version of his own protégé, he was at least grateful that he wouldn't have to face May Parker's wrath at seeing what he'd allowed to happen to her nephew. And then Peter nuzzled into his neck, and said with a voice that was low and guttural and still somehow Peter's, "Mr. Stark, I think something's wrong with me."

Color-coding! It's kinda-sorta by ship, and then kinda-sorta by specific type of AU so that it's not just a wall of Starker-color? Green is complete, bright red is for whatever chapter of YNYD I'm currently writing (or, eventually, whatever my main priority at that time is, once I'm done with YNYD), deep red is Starker, purple is omegaverse ideas (so daddy long legs was also purple until I finished it), blue is Spiderio stuff and the lone yellow one is because it's Toomes/Peter. (That one and post-spiderio are ALSO Starker, but like, I gotta break up the wall of deep red somehow.)

Thank you for playingggg 💖💖💖

[authoralexharvey]

It’s Ray—your local Arbian teen that’s stranded in Vira. Look I got some important questions here mainly are tarot readings future tellings or can they, I dunno, locate people? Like you some mystic or something? We got those. You know what, imma assume you are. Mystic space-cadead is your new name. Your welcome.

My family has been missing?? Like they said they would be back in three weeks, um but it’s been five. Not open to depressive future readings you can shove those up your ass, and I mean that in the nicest way possible. Also not open to vaguely nice future readings. Naw fam. I am here for the *facts.* But if we must choose between the two then I guess vaguely nice it is.

Are you able to use these cards or something to tell me where they are?? Is it necessary for me to drag their crazy asses out of Arbia? Do I need to be making exciting and irresponsible deals with their potential captors. I am *open* to suggestions. You can use *anything* that is useful.

If giving me irresponsible life advice are not what tarot readings are for, what if we pretended they were? Come on. I need suggestions people. Cough it up mystic space-cadead.

*blinks*

Based on the very first line I'm taking this in absolutely the most best faith way possible and running with it. Becausr Ray has... quite the personality hahaha. Very abrasive. I was quite thrown to be honest.

Also in this case, it would be Mystic Nadia, since that's who is giving the reading here ^^ though she prefers Diviner.

(Also yes I have heard tarot being used to find things but fuck me if I actually know how it works?)

--

Alex's 300 Follower Tarot Extravaganza

--

She wasn't expecting a sudden tirade when she opened the door, but the words fall out of the boy's mouth before she can even say hello. She has half a mind to slam the door in his face--that'll show the brat--but a sudden thought stills her aching limbs. Through the typical teenage maelstrom of emotions radiating from him, he reminds her of Ines. Her heart twists at the thought.

“Fine,” she says. The door widens until there’s enough of a gap for Ray to slip through. Still, shock ripples through Nadia when the boy barges past. Before she can tell him to sit, he's already flopped down onto one of her chairs. The fabric coughs up dust under his weight, enough to make her grimace.

She shuts the door, jamming her hip against it to make sure it closes. It's a movement she'll pay for later, she knows, but something tells her the extra caution is warranted.

"I'm not a mystic," she says by way of apology as she picks her way through her disorderly living room. "I think the closest we get around here is prophets, or Diviners. That's what I am, a Diviner. Or, will be." Noting the boy's aggressive skepticism, she rushes to continue, "But I can try to help all the same. Tarot is... well, it's many things. Mostly a tool. Some tools are not suited for all jobs. That said..."

Nadia takes the tin at her side and pops it open. The cards slip in her hands. Starting to shuffle, she thinks on Ray's words and ponders how to translate them.

It's as she's deep in thought that a card contorts, flipping itself so it faces the opposite way of all the others. She stops shuffling to examine it.

She can't help it. She laughs.

"The Nine of Cups," she says, showing Ray the smirking figuring on the card standing in front of nine overflowing cups. "Overflowing happiness. Somehow, I think this is a shot at you for saying you don't want vaguely nice readings. Tarot... can have a mind of its own."

Ray does not look amused. She starts to shuffle again.

Before long, she cuts the deck in half and draws a card. Another, softer snort escapes.

"Ten of Wands," she says, revealing a card of a figure in a lightning storm, crown shattering on their head. Ten sticks form a web behind them. "A near-opposite response."

Nadia tucks the card back into the deck. "I do apologize for this. I think the deck is having fun with your... uncouth behavior." In the back of her mind, she thinks Simone would be proud of her use of the word "uncouth". It has a nice ring, she must admit.

Ray is still not amused. With a nervous chuckle, Nadia shuffles the deck a third time. She does so slowly, hand over hand, brow furrowed as she focuses on Ray's question.

Finally, she cuts the deck and pulls a third card. She doesn't have time to smother her confusion.

"Huh."

She sets the cards down, chewing on her lip. The third card she's pulled depicts a lounging horned figure pulling floral sheets close to them. A brilliant moon illuminates them from behind. Still staring at the card, she says, "Do you even have a plan for how you would get your family back?"

Nadia winces. The phrasing was perhaps a bit harsh. She tries again. "Rather, here's the sense I'm getting. Given your speech at the beginning, I'm sure you have some semblance of an idea of what you would do. Why haven't you done it yet? From my standpoint, it appears you need to knuckle down, make up an actual plan, and then see it through. That's what the Knight of Pentacles is all about.

"A final word," she adds as Ray stands up. "Your solution is not perfect. There will be consequences. You must be prepared to accept them." Then, softer, "And good luck."

[ralucasalmostgone]

Then 10th grade came but remember: I don't study well with a teacher around, only when I'm left to my own devices and get supervised at a distance, do I show how much I understand/know out of nowhere, compared to others.

Well...she had different plans. Her tutoring for Latin went something like this: I'd get 95% things right, then suddenly, I'd forget there's a 2nd class type of adjective in Latin and the whole library would hear her rant about how ignorant I am!

Of course, I could perceive she just enjoyed the sound of her own voice and wanted attention from the whole library. I had heard stories from my classmates about her teaching style: where she basically just insults you instead of teaching you, so I wasn't taken by suprise or anything!

...

Then the Psychology teacher has her own Olympics and somehow I end up there too because there was a classmate and she was bragging about being good at it for sure, but I was having enough of stupid people getting awarded for no good reason and me - who had never failed at any subject, ever - get ignored because the teachers are incredibly irresponsible!

So because she wanted to go and wasn't really intelligent, I went too, in order to prove a point to myself. Out of all the students participating in that Olympics, grades 9 - 12, I was the only one to pass to the next stage (the post school stage) with 90 something etc.

---

Now see, I was really divided at this point cause the Psychology Olympics was happening at the same time with the Latin Olympics...

So...it was crazy how many insults that Latin teacher came up with for me. Then she got the principal to corner me, in the hallway, in a manner of speaking and they both gave me a pep talk about how I must compete and get there!

In my mind, I was thinking about other studd. I had heard enough rumours about the principal stealing from the school budget to finance her own house or how badly they manage the funds. And I knew the Latin teacher had received a sum of money because of me...So I knew they wanted a repeat performance...

...

I was just filled with annoyance at that point, that my depression (that was kinda written on my body, very slim body, I might add) had been observed by the Latin teacher to the point where every time she noticed it, it would be a good reason for her to start her criticism of my Latin knowledge: just so she could hear the sound of her own voice! (in my vicinity or something!) She wanted to have fun with her criticism of me, while I was not feeling good, get me? Blindly, like a narcissist!

...

Right during the last lesson, after constant rants about my inefficient mind (because I remember 90 things out of 100), she says: "You know...I don't know what this is, what you're going through, some kind of adolescent phase, but get over it, already, okay?"

I had Psychology and Latin at the same time but I dropped the first, regardless of how excited the Psychology teacher was because the principal cornered me too, so what was I supposed to do? Try for something new right at the last minute?

With this Latin teacher blabbing away by herself at me? Rather I just finish this already! All the competing! This woman didn't annoy me per se the way you might think:

I have a life history and memories of succeeding when there's no teacher involved. She can't take that away: my real background and experience. So her rambling was useless when it comes to my self-esteem or awareness of my knowledge! But...that doesn't mean I enjoyed being insulted 24/7, it changed me associating good stuff with Latin studying: before I could see it like Math equations, just stuff I apply to sentences...now, now it was just that thing that gets you insulted cause a narcissistic bitch exists, man!

So I didn't pass to the next stage, cause I didn't have in me to care to compete anymore.

[justsokaela]

Sometimes the only time I truly feel safe and 100% comfortable talking to my parents is when we're watching tv together

I am just constantly on edge around them, worried about when I'm going to fuck up. I like my routine and feel good lately and not-stressed despite living at home with my parents at age 33 because I'm too busy to interact with them much and I wake up early and go to bed early, typically. But the way that my stepmom expresses her stress and anger about everything else going on- what my 18 and 21 year old siblings are doing (or doing wrong, not doing, or somehow offending her) makes me still feel self conscious about MYSELF.

Like if she freaks out about my sister who is a complete slob by the way for hoarding dishes in her room - when I am seen while bringing my one single dish and cup that I used that day back upstairs to wash or put in the dishwasher I get met with the eyes of judgment and frustration - as if I am just like my sister, leaving dishes to stack up for days and making a smell and also making it harder to clean them later? I don't fucking do that, and I haven't done anything like that honestly ever, because when I was a teenager, I wouldn't have so easily gotten away with that. I wasn't even allowed to have any dishes in my room except for water cups or bottled drinks, now that i think about it. And I was never that obsessed with drinking sodas and shit to begin with.

When I buy something, with MY own money, earned at either my fulltime professional job or one of my side gigs, and it's not saving or something I necessarily "need" I get judged for it. I'm not irresponsible with my money. I just want to enjoy life while I can because with the rate of inflation and wage increases not happening and how I'm literally not good enough or educated enough or skilled enough or more importantly experienced enough to do any kind of job that actually makes enough to live off of - and be something I'd be good at and somewhat enjoy (because what's the point of earning enough to cover basic living needs if you're miserable and have no life in the process). So today, I'm rushing to work, I'm late - I'm already upset because I typically wake up at 3 to go to the gym, workout, do some personal things and then get ready for work - no rush, never late, already productive. Because I was anxious around my mom last night, I decided to stay up later and help out after dinner and I cleaned the whole kitchen to placate her after letting out a visceral scream about my sister hoarding dishes again and leaving the upstairs bathroom a total mess, and her noted sarcastic jabs at my dad trying to "nicely" tell him that he needs to get off his phone and help out and do the taxes and put away the thawing meat she asked him to do hours before and just fucking pay attention to the stove while she's running around back and forth while she's trying to make us dinner.

So I did the dishes from dinner and cooking, and extra cleaned all the counter tops and organized things and put things away and packed up the leftovers. And then I get to bed at like 10, so of course I'm not well rested enough for a 3am gym session. But then I forgot to set a backup alarm for "sleeping in" times and end up waking up at 6:40 and desperately needing a shower, because I was too lazy to do it yesterday. My room is a complete mess, I need to sort through all my clothes and put things away, I had no outfit set up for today and had to dig around just to find a bralet, Zero pooped on the floor while I was in the shower even though I had JUST let him outside, I feel fat in everything and hate how even today, right now, in this moment, I'm feeling shitty about myself because of stupid patriarchal societal beauty standards and I look like shit and my hair is too wet to blow dry and I don't have enough time to air dry it. Then, when I'm rushing to get to work, I can't find my fucking car keys. I had them last night, and now I can't find them. My mom reminds me that she sent me back out to roll up my windows because we were anticipating some rain. Maybe I left my keys in the car? Sure enough, I fucking did. Thankfully I didn't lock myself out of the car again, but no, instead, this time, I LEFT THEM IN THE IGNITION.

someone could have just easily taken my car and driven away, because I'm so stupid and careless! And then, because I left them in the ignition, turned just enough to activate the battery so I can roll up the windows, by fucking car battery was dead and needed a jumpstart.

I asked my dad to help, since I don't know how to jumpstart a car nor do I have a jumpstart kit or know where he keeps his anyways, and he takes his sweet time getting dressed and coming outside.

I'm feeling like a complete idiot and I hate myself for creating this situation. I feel stupid because I don't even have my own battery jumpstart kit that I SHOULD know how to use. I'm late to work, and I'm trying to mentally figure out how to word the email - and thanks to my anxiety about all my previous jobs being total asshats to me about situations like this - I was panicking that my being late today would equal myself getting fired.

Then my dad does the thing and he talks to me about it like I'm supposed to understand what he's saying. I don't know shit about cars, I have zero interest in them, and all of it confuses the fuck out of me whenever I try to learn anything because books and the internet are all full of overwhelming perspectives and information and I'm already stressed out about how that happens with EVERYTHING ELSE that I need and actually want to learn more about. Then he's trying to talk to me, so i roll down the window while i let the engine run a bit. he's like i was just gonna open the door, you shouldn't roll it down. I don't understand why, and in my mind i'm like, why would I do that when I can just talk to you through the window? I need to go to work and don't want to open my door. He just goes "nevermind. Have you checked your oil lately?"

first of all, how is that relevant to what's going on right now? Do I need to check my oil now, did you see something when you had the hood open? I just had the oil changed and all the other fluids flushed and changed out in the past month, I'm not due for another oil change for at least 10,000 miles. He's like "that's not the point, have you checked your oil recently? you're supposed to check it frequently when you get gas." okay but I JUST had it changed. It should be full. It shouldn't be contaminated. What is the point of asking me this, I NEED TO GO TO WORK I'M ALREADY HALF AN HOUR LATE.

"you need to know the rate that your car is burning oil."

"NOW?" "well you're car is leaking oil." "WHAT WELL WHY DIDNT YOU JUST LEAD WITH THAT I GOTTA GET THAT FIXED." 'You can't afford to fix it right now."

"well if it's leaking that's a big problem, i don't think i really have a choice. but if its leaking I'm concerned that my mechanics didn't say anything when I literally saw them LAST WEEK. and he's like "well it's normal, it's not leaking that much. but you should check your oil every time you get gas."

no explanation as to why that time is the necessary time. also, I've NEVER seen him nor anyone else checking their oil while filling their tank up at the wawa or whatever. So hypocrite much? You criticize me for not knowing how to check my oil, for not checking it every day or fucking whatever because I trust my mechanics enough to expect that they have filled it with clean oil very recently, all completely irrelevant to me needing to jumpstart my car, which I'm already feeling stressed out, frustrated, and self-loathing and STUPID to begin with. I couldn't even thank him for helping me because he just stormed off, annoyed at ME for being defensive because I COULDN"T FUCKING UNDERSTAND WHAT HIS POINT WAS AND I WAS ALREADY IN DISTRESS.

I'm tired of being met constantly with criticism from my parents.

[recordstellar-official]

A Sword Through The Fog

Scene 3: The Father Principle & Guardian Spirit

"A muffin and two chili dogs please!"

Daniel stood in front of Adrubbahk's forge and grill, the one restaurant that used the smelter as its kitchen. It wasn't sanitary, and most who ate there got sick, but curiously, the human was surprisingly immune.

The forgemaster eyed him suspiciously as he served the dogs on a lead tray. Daniel wasted no time devouring the chili dogs and mopping the leftover chili with the muffin. He burped in satisfaction as he walked out.

Juhn stood in front of the forge's exterior, arms crossed.

"Oh you don't look too happy," his father replied.

"Oh, I don't? Where is your scry-board, father!?"

"I gave it away."

"Gave it away?!" Juhn's eyes widened in disbelief.

"What? You're here in front of me. So it couldn't have been that inconvenient. By the way, how's Raina?"

"Don't try to change the subject! How could you be so irresponsible!"

Daniel blinked in disbelief.

Juhn's ex needed it more, but Juhn didn't know so that could be forgiven.

He shrugged before answering.

"Well, I asked Dulni for a favor and she needed it for that since they confiscated hers when she arrived in Feygard."

Juhn composed himself at the mention of his ex's name. His eyebrow arched as he tried to think up the reasons his father considered her a good candidate.

"She's far better at relic hunting than you give her credit for," Daniel said as if reading his son's mind.

"It's not that. I've never known you to reject an offer from the LHS," Juhn replied.

Daniel stuck his hand through the astral projection. Juhn's mouth widened in astonishment.

"What? I just wanted to see how you got here. What device are you using this time?"

Juhn's eyebrows furrowed.

"It's ritual magic combined with an artifact. I'm outside my study right now in one of the custodial closets."

"Cool. Can I have one?"

"No. I'm sure you'd just give it away," Juhn replied.

"Oh," Daniel's mood dropped as the word escaped his lips.

"So why'd you reject the assignment?"

"Oh because I read Raina's book. It's no wonder she's having nightmares. Ancient Kaihuatan artifacts tend to have that effect."

"And?"

"Well I sent her to you. Because you'd be better help than me. You're more experienced with curses - you get that from your mom. I just play with artifacts."

"Wait, a curse?"

"Oh yeah, that's why I can't go after the relic. I've got to get the curse off of me. I hope you didn't read the book. You read the book, didn't you? You get that from me."

Daniel's wide grin somehow made him punchable. It was one of the rare times Juhn understood what it felt like to want to lay someone out for their smugness. He let the urge die.

"What exactly is this curse?" he asked.

"Just fateful premonitions. How're you feeling?"

Juhn staggered back. Fire consumed the forge behind his father.

"You see the the taco bar, grill and forge on fire too," Daniel stated.

"How exactly are you going to remove the curse?"

"My brother," Daniel replied. "He's got something I can use. But it only works once and I'm sure it wouldn't work on your friend. It might work on you though, but I doubt your mother would approve."

Juhn felt the gravity of that last statement hit him. The possibility that Kadya would encourage him to carry that burden. It was so believable it hurt.

"So uncle Caros has something that can cure you?"

"Yes, it'll hurt though. He'll have to stab me a few times with it. I am not looking forward to it, but these visions are distracting. Oh, hello giant Arnd'thuul crushing the mayor's office. I know you're not real."

Juhn stood terrified as he saw a long, lanky shadow-being strolling nonchalantly among the wanton destruction being wreaked. In an instant the beast, fires, and horror were gone. He took a deep breath. This was what Raina was seeing. By Ora Da, it was no wonder why she was distressed.

"You don't have access to any mages who could help with this?! You work at a college full of them!"

Daniel's voice took on a more serious tone.

"Juhn. That book chose her. And the only reason it's affecting us is because we're also linked to her past. Maybe in ways that are better not known, but still. I saw things. Things I can't tell you about yet, but I promise, after I work things out with my twin, I'll share. Get some chamomile and mix it with ginger. Ginger is known to combat nightmares. And take some for yourself. You'll need it. Oh and I'm supposed to console you or something. But you already know everything is exactly as it needs to be."

Juhn's eyes narrowed in dissatisfaction, but he knew his father was right. Ora Laho damn it, he was right.

Juhn popped back awake in the janitor's closet next door to his office. A hand was on his mouth.

"Don't make a sound. You wouldn't want to worry your girlfriend."

Dorathi. Tonight might as well have been a family reunion.

At this rate, I might as well get everyone in the family in here,Juhn thought to himself.

"Sorry for the pseudo-reunion, but I really needed to get to you."

Juhn's eyes narrowed in annoyance as his cousin dropped her hand from his face.

"Why are you here?"

"I was assigned to assist you with the nightmares you and your crush will be having," Dorathi replied.

"She's not my crush!" Juhn whispered.

"Whatever. Anyways, you're going to need this."

Dorathi handed Juhn a sack.

"This is bird seed! Why would I need bird seed!?"

Today was only getting more confusing. Juhn barged out of the closet and walked back into the room.

"Sorry, reaching father required more.. eccentric methods this time. Why don't we head to my place? I can cook you something there."

"It's ok, I'm done with dinner," she replied.

Raina stood and collected her things. The two walked downstairs to the dining area and informed the advisor and his wife that they'd be leaving. Juhn encouraged Lialka to stay and entertain the guests - she at least owed him that- - and got into his auto-carriage.

The drive was quiet; Juhn was too busy trying to ignore the altered landscape before him. As they journeyed through the winding road, Juhn couldn't help but reflect upon the events of the past week. He pondered the choices he had made and the consequences they had brought upon him. The weight of his decisions felt heavier with each passing mile. The silence between them grew denser, suffocating the air in the carriage. Raina glanced at Juhn, a hint of concern in her eyes, but said nothing. The world outside seemed to mirror the unease within their hearts. The once vibrant scenery that used to bring them joy now appeared dull and lifeless. The trees stood like silent sentinels, their branches drooping with an air of melancholy. Juhn's mind was filled with thoughts of what could have been, regrets and what-ifs swirling around him. He desperately sought solace in the distraction of driving, but found none. The stark reality of their situation was unavoidable, no matter how hard they tried to ignore it; Raina was going through her resonance, a form of elven puberty, far earlier than her kind usually did. And it was far more potent than anything Juhn or any of his elven cousins had experienced. And all from a book. This was big, and the enormity seemed to permeate everything, including the twisted landscape.

The auto-carriage continued its steady pace, its wheels turning on the path carved by their choices. Juhn felt as though he was on a never-ending journey, trapped within the confines of his own mistakes. The weight of responsibility settled heavily upon his shoulders, a constant reminder of the path he had chosen. Raina's presence provided a faint glimmer of hope amidst the darkness that consumed him. Her unwavering support and understanding gave him strength to face the uncertain future that lay ahead. With each passing moment, Juhn's determination grew stronger. He vowed to make amends, to find a way to mend what had been broken. The road stretched out before them, a symbol of the path yet to be traveled. And as they ventured further into the unknown, Juhn knew that the journey would be arduous, but he also knew that he would not face it alone. Together, they would navigate the twists and turns of fate, and emerge stronger on the other side.