#but tbh mate i doubt you are either

[general-cyno]

I really think that while Zoro is more jealous (and has more opportunities to show it because Luffy is more outgoing and has a more inviting personality), Luffy is more possessive. Funny enough, this aligns nicely with their zodiac signs. Scorpio is often described as the most jealous sign or one of the most jealous among all the others while Taurus, although not necessarily the jealous type, is more of a "what's mine is mine, stay away" type. I loooove your tags!

Hi anon, thank you! 🫶🏼

and yeah, I agree. tbh zoro's lowkey jealous streak is really funny to me bc he's weirdly selective about what sets it off and he's also aware there's no stopping luffy from doing whatever so. he just kinda has to bear with it. luffy though, now he's an interesting one.

thing is - luffy's never really had to fight for zoro's loyalty nor to keep him around. resort to a liiittle bit of blackmail to persuade him into joining the crew? yeah. demonstrate he can be a responsible/serious captain during certain circumstances? sure. there's the davy back fight where the entire crew was in danger of being snatched also but other than that, he's never had outsiders actively try to take zoro away from him, specifically. he likely doesn't know about the zoro who was asked to but refused to join baroque works unless he got to be the boss. the zoro he's known is the one who's content to be luffy's first mate/second in command and has reaffirmed luffy's position and authority as the captain before.

now imagine a scenario where someone who genuinely shares zoro's interests (in booze, swords, fighting for example) and whose attention zoro reciprocates bc of that. maybe they're a fellow swords fighter, a good one too, and zoro being zoro he's curious and eager to test his strength against them. while he's generally less extroverted than luffy, zoro usually gets along with other folks too y'know? and it's fine, zoro is cool and luffy likes it when others admire his friends.

the problem is when this person lets it slip or dares to suggest zoro should stop being a pirate. this conveniently (or purposefully) happens when zoro isn't present, of course. insists that being part of luffy's crew is what's stunting zoro's progress and that he'd be closer to achieving his dream on his own or at least if he were the one leading instead, which this person argues they can help with. not luffy or the crew, especially not luffy who's dragging him down...

...which is crazy, right. couldn't be. depending on the context, imo pre TS luffy would perhaps doubt himself a bit. zoro indeed has no interest in staying a pirate if not for luffy or the straw hats, he's said it before, not to mention how their fist meeting went. post TS luffy though - now that's vicious. imagine mixing up possessiveness with shit like conqueror's haki. either luffy's gonna end this person's career by forcing them to witness exactly how loyal zoro is to him (bc zoro is his, has been since the beginning) or directly gum gum their ass into oblivion.

under less threatening circumstances, I can see luffy being more chill though still pretty clingy and asserting his possessiveness more casually, maybe doing so kind of obliviously. ruining every single moment in which xy person tries to talk to zoro alone or while trying to initiate more physical contact, stuff like that. it'd be hilarious.

[toxooz]

i dont know if you've ever said anywhere- but we know that Remy and Ollie are both half orcs and that Ollie's other half is ~Demon~

Do we know what Remy's other half is or is that a future secret?

I'm just curious cause Ollie is So Clearly Orcish so is Remy's other half just super strong blooded or is he a twink?

SHEW yall I've been sittin on a huge lore breakthrough with Ollie and Remy that my high ass accidently unlocked a few weeks ago that I've been debating on just dumping here but I'm still considering if it's too spoilery for what is literally just about to come up in the comic, but tbh it would probably just help contextualize things a little better so IDKK if i dont drop it soon it'll be after-not this update or the next-but the one after but before I slap a little snippet, the short answer is I still don't know what his other half is exactly, it's demon no doubt but a mangly unimpressive one for sure. Adding onto that I don't even know what Remy's mom is part UUH and imma have to design her up Real Soon so im still wracking my brain for that one. The closest I got right now is maybe the demon resembled a giraffe somehow hence the giraffe esque spots on Remy ??? both Ollie and Remy's "fathers" came from the same demon cave hence the kinda dark look even around Remys eyes and similar horn stripes:

believe it or not it isn't eyeliner LMFAO its basically what Ollie has horn with just to a much lesser extent (they used to be more of a brown hue to i guess show that they weren't as tough and more sensitive to the touch but making the comic i kinda dropped it oof) but anyway the whole reason Remy was born in the first place was just for a "anything you can do I can do better" attempt by Remy's mom (Mogaks sister) ie. a lil snippit from the lore dump in the drafts:

*SIDE NOTTE Remy's mom has mental issues due to the hierarchy in the orc community over being a half orc and the fact that she isn't involved in combat and just minds the village, so she already wasn't really seen highly of (Mogak would treat her equally however) meanwhile Mogak was a pretty hefty solid full blooded orc and was a warrior of sorts and a leader in that aspect (her 'occupation' for lack of better word wasn't necessarily THAT high ranking in their society considering battle fighting was a common 'career' within the orc tribe so she's still even among the orc community, but still well liked and respected regardless) but her sister was seen as less-than in subtle ways. Due to her tough upbringing she quietly dealt with jealousy of Mogak throughout her life and during their young adult years she would take up the habit of trying to outdo Mogak with little things. When she was told about Mogak being pregnant with Ollie by her quest into a demonic cave, she planned on doing the same. The demon she ended up mating with wasn't all that great to say the least and didn't put up much of a fight either (Mogak declared a battle with the demon she wanted to make the deal with and chose a Pretty Fukkin Big Ass Boi one of the biggest in the cave I'd argue) so that's why Remy turned out Like That. After everything happened and they moved Remy's mom still carried self conscious habits and would get with men who would play off of those insecurities

[thedarkonesposts]

Obligatory omega Kylar posting…. We r also talking abt the other school love interests in abo terms cause… I neglect anyone who isn’t Kylar 😐

Kywar (omega)

Everyone can tell he’s an omega. He gets made fun of for it because of course the grimy weird kid also has to be an omega

Kylar might be an omega but he has the violent possessiveness of an alpha. He’s also mad delusional and thinks he’s secretly an alpha despite being quite breedable and tiny. Obviously he isn’t and instantly gets submissive the second an alpha is actually around.

He’s unintentionally slutty, he has no ability to control his impulses- which leads to being starry eyed and needy around every single alpha before he’s mated. He’s just a little desperate to have a mate honestly.

Cute, he’s cute.

Even more of a hopeless romantic than usual, someone needs to claim and knot him before he whimpers at the wrong person. He’s incredibly shy but his urge for romance weighs out enough that he’ll stalk alphas and stare up at them w his heavy breathing the second they’re close.

Obsessed w having pups. Does not shut up abt it, thinks he’d have the cutest babies despite hating how he looks.

Being forcefully claimed wouldn’t phase him, he’d be happy someone wants him that much tbh.

Biter. Like regular Kylar he shows love in weirdly violent ways- biting excessively is definitely one of them. Once he gets a mate it’s over, they’re going to be covered head to thigh in bite marks and hickeys so everyone knows.

Gets separation anxiety from his mate, even if it’s just for a few hours he can barely handle being away.

The master of nest making and nesting. Dude makes the coziest nests and has the best naps there. Shits built with care and love.

Runt

His omega scent works hard against his lack of showers. He smells cinnamony. Christmassy almost. Just a nice mix of spice.

Sydney (beta)

Alluring to literally anyone, alphas, betas, omegas. Everyone wants him and thinks he’s a gorgeous and perfect mate

People argue abt what he is. They think he’s too pretty and kind to be a beta or alpha but too headstrong and self assured to be an omega. He’s also strong enough people doubt it. They’d probably be shocked to find out he’s just a beta

Doesn’t understand alpha or omega instincts and has a giggle abt how desperate and crazy they seem,,,But still wants a mate and hopes being a beta won’t ruin his chances

Grew up with an omega best friend so he’s kind of picked up on cozy omega activities like nesting and scenting. He’d definitely do them with a partner whenever he got one.

Prefers omegas, despite his masochistic tendencies he doesn’t like how alphas act, it annoys him.

Literally so pretty.

Whitney (alpha)

Annoying about it, everyone knows he’s an alpha because he’s the most stereotypical asshole alpha possible.

Claims he doesn’t want a mate and doesn’t care about having one yet absolutely does.

Has tried forcefully mating several ppl just for it to reject and him to have a bitch fit over it

Would be weirdly possessive once mated, definitely also a biter. He wouldn’t let his mate go out without being bitten and scratched to hell.

Smells nice, pine maybe.

Doesn’t want pups even once mated

Robin (omega? Beta?)

Could either go omega or beta, he’d still be smaller and submissive regardless but I think he’d suit being a beta more. His submissiveness is more earned than being inherent.

He isn’t like… pathetically needy. He’s dependent and loves to cuddle but it isn’t excessive.

No matter what he is he’s getting bullied for being an omega so he might as well just be one.

Neutral on pups, he feels like he’s too young to worry about that stuff.

Bonus Eden (alpha obviously)

Did you guys know Eden and Kylar would be the perfect couple? Yeah I’m making a section for eden just to shove this down ur throats again :)!!!!

Undoubtedly an alpha, just look at him. He’s aggressive, primal, big. The mate literally any omega would want. (ESP Kylar, Kylar would be on his knees begging for a chance if they met)

Violently possessive but also very protective and loving as a mate.

Not above forcefully mating someone, and doing it over and over until it doesn’t reject

He wants pups. Badly. The satisfaction of breeding his mate would be the best feeling in the world. He’d also be more than happy to trap them at home to keep them safe during pregnancy. He’d do literally everything for them- but still ask to be bathed and fed if they could manage it.

Smells like a campfire, cozy.

If only there was some desperate, loyal, needy omega who also desperately wanted pups. That would be crazy. If only someone else could match the same level of possessiveness and delusion it takes to kidnap someone and forcefully mate them….

[autisticempathydaemon]

your match up game looks so fun ‼️‼️‼️‼️ i wanna try it out hehe (rambling ahead)

1. beast of blood by malice mizer :3 i honestly don't have a reason other than it being chaotic enough that it fills up empty noise in my brain lol

2. 5w6 !!

3. ohh i LOVE youtube essays/analyses whether i'm fully listening or have em as background noise, i love horror youtube deep dives, particularly about analog/digital horror series and that one creepypasta iceberg hehe

4. i don't think i've ever had one ? to be honest i don't think i ever thought abt it until i saw it in like . cartoons n shit , never rlly knew about the concept of imaginary friends as a kid 😭

5. recently i use redacted sleep aid audios but most of the time i just . stay awake until my brain shuts down 🤞

6. honestly? i never thought abt this . but the first thing that came into my mind was veronica (idk either!!) though if i genuinely wanted to change my name i'd want it to be gender neutral, and tbh i doubt i'd have any important meaning behind it i'd just pick whatevr sounds nice

7. guy's sleep audio !!!! i joke about wanting guy angst a lot but to be real . this audio of his is so vulnerable .. like before that we only saw him being a goof and stuff yaknow . . idk that one forreals hit different 4 me

8. as much as i love every character, i do not understand why gavin is the most popular😭 don't get me wrong , love him, maybe it's because i haven't listened to the fl series but i do not get the hype💔

9. i don't know all the words per se but i would have to say mean girls . . as problematic as that movie is now its iconic and i love it and i need to rewatch it BAD .

10. damien tbh . haven't gotten to his other audios but i think i would want 2 be besties w him i relate 2 him a good amount (he also seems like the type id be intimidated into doing well in school for)

11. to be real i wld not be able to ramble if im tired LOL i think i'd be more quiet bcz i have a hard time sleeping to begin with

12. tbh just a soda (coca cola bcz i am basic) i go to convenience stores n stuff after school so im only there to pick up something quick before i go home so im in and im out 🔥🔥

13. the 2007 sweeney todd soundtrack 🤞 i cannawt find the movie ANYWHERE and its nostalgic to me so listening to the songs is the closest i'll get to scratch the itch in my brain

14. fnaf tbh EHWHEHW i've been into fnaf ever since i was a kid and it's stuck with me because it's what got me into horror n stuff  🫶

15. i'm a saggitarius, my mbti is INTP, i love horror and fashion, despite wearing a lot of darker alt fashion, my favorite color is pink (my phone case is decorated to the gods its very ridiculous) i like doing my own nails (funnily enough in bright colors) , i think i relate to honey the most in terms of personality, and i like to analyze most of the media im into!!

So part of my thought process is based on your personality types, the Troubleshooter and the Logician. However, I have to admit a bigger part of my reasoning is I think Asher would love your fashion sense and would contrast you so cutely.

Like, on a deep, core level, your personality types give me the impression of someone who’s thoughtful and analytical and capable of solving problems. Those are good traits for a beta’s mate, especially when Asher can have more social, impulsive tendencies. On a funsies level, I imagine Asher dresses like your typical So Cal dude, kinda surfer chic, and he loves your style and what an odd pair you make. Like, on all levels but especially physical, you are the embodiment of the black cat/golden retriever couple.

Asher loves everything about you, so many things about you he finds it hard to pick a favorite. He loves the contrast between your dark clothes and your bright nails, loves asking you to paint his while you’re at it so y’all can match. He loves watching FNAF theories with you, because he was definitely a FNAF teenager. He even loves watching scary movies with you though he’s terrible with them. (Asher’s the type that loves the adrenaline rush while it’s playing but regrets it once it’s time to lock up the house.)

Song:

In the car, I just can't wait/ To pick you up on our very first date/ Is it cool if I hold your hand?/ Is it wrong if I think it's lame to dance?/ Do you like my stupid hair?/ Would you guess that I didn't know what to wear?/ I'm just scared of what you think/ You make me nervous so I really can't eat/ Let's go/ Don't wait/ This night's almost over

Given we canonically know Asher to be a FOB fanboy, it’s hardly a leap to assume he’s a Blink fan, especially this song. I think this particular track is not only fun and nostalgic to him but captures his energy and vibes, how he felt when he first fell in love with you. It’s also catchy as hell, so you know he’s singing this at you full-volume all the time.

Runner-ups:

Anytime someone says they’re a horror fan, I’ve got to put Guy in their big three; one of my top headcanons is that he writes some gripping horror and loves it as a genre. (I also think he loves FNAF lore and finds it so fun, though he was not impressed by the movie.) I also love Lasko for you because I think he admires your bold, authentic fashion choices and finds them inspirational.

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[therhythmafterthesummer]

I have more question and would like to hear your thoughts on some what ifs

1) do you think autumn wouldn’t have stayed in Chan’s pack if there would have been specific rules for omegas, even if they were ones to actually protect them? Ex: when close to your heat let others know when you are going out and request of someone else go with you

2) thoughts on if Changbin just so happened to find himself in a dark alley with Autumn’s ex and he knew there would be no consequences. Mine are I doubt the guy makes it out alive

3) like how Chris in the actual band doesn’t care about seniority and let’s IN do things like hold the trophy first, get first bites ex, does this happen in the actual pack?

4)if it was just mitten and Sir P/future cats for the rest of ever by themselves, do you think he’d suffer from lone wolf syndrome? Do you think he’d notice if he did get it?

5) are lunar eclipses and solstices also important for the wolves for runs and celebrations?

6) what if instead happy zoomies from Chris when he finally learns he’s gonna be a dad, he actually gets so excited and worked up he passes out? Thoughts? Cause like tbh it would be so cute.

7) for soulmates/truemates, if one of them were to pass would the other likely die of a broken heart? If so, does it ever happen to just other mates/packmates?

-🥝

love these so much, you already know.

she could've dealt with rules for omegas depending on what the rules were. if they'd been something like "omegas tend to the household while their alphas work" or "omegas must obey higher designations" she definitely wouldn't have stayed.

wr!Changbin has had his fair dose of anger issues, and i feel like all those would resurface if he saw Hyunwoo lol. he'd definitely try to fight, and at the very least, he'll get him unconscious..

yes, yes it does. Chris just wants his pack members to follow the very few rules he's put in place (help each other out when needed, speak out if you're uncomfortable, protect each other, anyone that's coming to the building must be introduced to Chris, and he will decide whether or not they can come into the den, etc). other than that, everyone's pretty much equal.

he wouldn't notice if he were suffering from lone wolf syndrome, at least not for a while. but, kitten and sir p are part of his pack, so he wouldn't get it anyway. in this universe, lone wolf syndrome is more about the pack than it is about being surrounded by other wolves. it's also why, when jisung found them, minho was fine. he wasn't alone, he had kitten (and his mum, and sir P, and kitten's dad).

yes, yes they are! i just haven't decided how they affect werewolves in this universe ahhaha. anything related to the sun, the moon, and the stars can affect them in one way or another.

awwwww, that's cute. i don't think he'll fully pass out, but i'm sure he'll be really close to hahah. he'll either try to go on a run to let those feelings out, or not detach himself from his prettiest for a second (aka, enters annoying protection mode).

yes, soulmates/truemates would die if the other passed. we know chris x pretty are soulmates, as are hyunlix x moss. with hyunlix and moss, if two of the throuple remain alive it's very likely that they'll survive for much longer, since they have each other, you know? if two of them die, whoever's left will die of a broken heart. same thing with pretty x chris. i feel like it's obvious that if pretty died, Chris would 100% die of a broken heart. what people might question is what would happen to pretty if Chris died.... pretty is human, but the universe has tied her to Chris, so she'd also die of a broken heart if he died. regular mates wouldn't necessarily die of a broken heart, but it's very likely that they wouldn't mate ever again (it'd depend on the relationship they had, honestly). pack mates usually wouldn't die of a broken heart if one of their own passed.

hope these answer your questions and that they make sense sjkdfhskjf feel free to let me know if they don't

[lesbiannancytruther]

I never said Steve would blame Nancy for not being into him or Robin for possibly having feelings. Steve is not the type of person who would force others to like him. He let her go so she could date Jonathan in s2. However, Jonathan and Steve weren't friends at all, so that's an entirely different situation. If Jonathan and him were bffs, he would have distanced himself from him as well.

I guess I project a lot on Steve because a friend of mine started to date my ex, and I felt super betrayed. We don't know how much Robin knows about Stancy, but they would have talked about it. The equivalent to this would be Steve dating Tammy Thompson or Vickie after learning how much Robin liked them. I don't see Robin being extremely thrilled about that either. I also don't think being hurt or angry at your bff if they were to date your ex is shitty behavior or unhealthy. Like I said, I ended that friendship with my friend because I felt hurt and betrayed. It's called setting boundaries. Now I don't think Steve would simply let go of Robin, but their relationship would change where he would distance himself from her, that would also not make him a bad friend, he is setting boundaries. Robin can do whatever but she would have to consider the possible consequences and if it's worth it to jeopardize her friendship with Steve. It's not so simple because the situation is super messy.

I do think Steve would come around later, but his dynamic with Robin would change, like he's not a doormat with zero feelings that you can just walk over. Like a tiny part of him would always feel betrayed by it, especially if he knows Robin knew about his feelings for Nancy. It's one thing to say, hey mate, she moved on. She has a new partner, and another thing to say move on I want to date your ex, and you better be happy about it. I agree Robin not persuing Nancy for the sake of Steve could lead to resentment of Steve, but at the same time Robin betraying Steve could lead to Steve resenting Robin, and tbh he has the right to voice those feelings just like Robin as the rights.

I also doubt Nancy would be super happy with Steve constantly being around. S4 was the first time they hung out again, they both actively avoided each other between seasons because they are not friends. I think she would have problems with her gf being extremely close with her ex. Especially because she was hurt so much by Steve. Again it's such a messy situation for all parties involved.

ok this is meaty so if i forget smth idk what to tell u lol

point 1, before anything else: considering steve acted all upset when nancy greeted Her Boyfriend Jonathan at the end of s4 because he'd started to feel old feelings is indicative that yes, he probably would feel that way in some capacity.

and, tbh, main point in all of this: there is a certain problem with projecting your own feelings onto characters in the show if it doesn't really fit the situation described. i know nothing about your own personal experience, it would be foolish of me to tell you what was the right or wrong way to handle your personal situation, but i'm thinking it is not a 1 to 1 comparison to the characters in the show, which is why it needs to be looked at differently.

nancy and steve's relationship ending wasn't a "one is at fault and the other isn't" situation, but im presenting this argument the best way i can:

if nancy had done steve incredibly wrong (which we can fight all day on: no she didn't) and their relationship didn't work out because nancy was abusive/toxic to him, then he would absolutely feel betrayed by robin pursuing a relationship with her! the problem? that's not at ALL what happened.

nancy and steve's relationship ended because 1) steve's incredible wrongs (see: nancy "the slut" wheeler" and leaving her drunk at a party) had stacked AND nancy, who needed to deal with her trauma, could not put it aside for steve, who wanted to repress his own trauma, by pretending everything was normal.

the biggest hurt that nancy caused steve was the "bullshit" scene, and canonically IN THE SHOW steve says she was right! that that needed to be said, which he learned after his development in s3.

steve messed up with nancy, and while i don't think he's a bad person for it, by any stretch of the imagination, it'd be really weird for him to hold it against robin for wanting to pursue something with nancy because of his own hurt feelings.

you're point on moving on: those two things really aren't that different, but one blatantly misinterprets the point i made about robin, and also about what confronting someone about something unhealthy means. if you talk to someone about their behavior and go "hey, this is uncool", it is never "suck it up and like what's happening" it's "this is the truth, please understand why your perception isn't healthy". it is never comfortable, but it's also not mean.

also: voicing hurt feelings is different than justifying them. if you say, "hey, this bothers me, even if it shouldn't", it is not a crime on you, or a bad thing to do, it's way healthier than ignoring those feelings. because at the end of the day, any resentment steve gains for robin from something like that, it isn't healthy, like no ifs, ands, or buts, in their situation it wouldn't be healthy.

and final point: nancy cares a lot about steve. just because they aren't the bestest of friends does NOT mean they don't care about each other. look at s4: nancy looked so relieved to see steve and the others pull up, because she knows she can rely on him, and steve wants to be there for her. i really don't think nancy feels romantically for steve, but she still cares about him, a lot, and what happened between them doesn't change that. robin and steve being besties does the opposite of bother her, by the way, like in canon.

i can't tell where you stand on nancy wheeler, but a lot of your points really don't feel like you understood stancy for what it was, and who nancy and steve are now.

[bisluthq]

I also don't get why Matty would share locations with her 🥴 was it some kind of meet me there in secret so it wouldn't leave traces kind of thing? Like I don't get the use of it. While with Joe, given that there was the jealousy situation and sometimes it was needed them being apart...I could see him be like ok whatever if that helps you put some of your anxieties away that I'm not cheating or lying to you whenever I say I'm going somewhere. Wouldn't be a healthy thing ngl but...we were talking the other day about her not feeling secure with him and could be a thing they had idk

maybe specifically because of that tho? If Matty was promising he’s everything Joe isn’t, I could see him saying “here you can even track my phone - I will never give you reason to doubt me the way you doubt him.” Taylor spent a lot of time wondering about where tf Joe is - that’s the premise of Hits Different tbh. If she’d had his location she could’ve just checked lol. And again, the whole jealousy aspect came from the fact that he NEVER made her feel totally secure so I think Matty may have done the location sharing specifically to be different from Joe. Like these two were/are very crazy so idk it doesn’t stun me iykwim? Whereas I think if Taylor had ever asked Joe to share his location - and she might’ve - he would’ve been like “??? wtf?? Why???” Also like since he pulls away and has stormed out before I think he’d actively not want to share it lol so if he does get upset with her, he can go to his mate’s and get space but idk that that was a healthy coping mechanism or a healthy space for either of them. Tatty was also deeply unhealthy lmfao but in a different way and given the love bombing and whatnot yeah idk I think he shared his location with her idk what to tell you 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

[nattikay]

Have you already read Avatar: The High Ground, and if so, what do you think about it?

I finally got to read it just the other day actually! Though I’m probably gonna have to read it again because tbh I found it a little hard to follow at times; the art style makes it a little difficult to differentiate between some of the characters.

That said though, here’s some thoughts/observations from my initial read, under a read-more since it contains spoilers (not only for The High Ground but also potentially for the movie itself since it’ll discuss a few fan theories):

Lo’ak failed his first attempt at Iknimaya and wonders if it has to do with him being “too human”—he’s sensitive about this because while Neteyam and Tuktirey look pretty much like native Na’vi, Lo’ak looks more like an avatar, which a lot of the other Na’vi seem to lowkey judge him for (I doubt he’s outright bullied per se, at least not in the Omatikaya clan, but he does express that “everyone assumes my failure is because I’m too human”), which in turn makes Lo’ak very self-conscious and he’s a bit angsty about it. Based on what we’ve heard so far, it seems this perception as “outcast” will be a major part of Lo’ak’s arc in the movie.

Kiri has been raised by Jake and Neytiri since infancy, she loves them very much and does consider them to be her “real” parents; however, she is aware that she’s adopted. She doesn’t show a ton of curiosity about her biological parents in The High Ground, however, in a preview clip for WoW we do see her curiously watching some of Grace’s old video logs and addressing Grace’s inert avatar as “Ma”, which raises a lot of questions about her origins and how much she knows about them. Which brings us to the three main Kiri-origin theories.

We know for sure thanks to an interview with Cameron that Kiri was “born of Grace’s avatar”; however we’re not really sure what exactly this means. There are three main theories:

One is that Grace’s avatar happened to be pregnant when she died, and Kiri is simply her biological daughter, with a random clan member being her father. This one, while I guess technically not impossible, I find by far the least likely as it just seems out of character for Grace to have been gettin’ it on with a random clan member (plus the whole “mating for life” thing and the fact that unlike Jake she hadn’t been properly inducted into the Omatikaya clan and thus wouldn’t have been permitted to take a mate among them).

Also the fact that Kiri looks so similar to Grace makes me skeptical that their connection is as simple as biological mother/daughter. If you look at Jake and Neytiri compared to their biological kids, each one of them has a completely unique striping pattern. Kiri’s, however, is exactly identical to Grace’s. Plus the fact that they’re played by the same actress, which again seems too intentional to be merely a regular daughter. There’s gotta be something more going on here.

The second theory is that during the attempted consciousness transfer Grace’s avatar was somehow impregnated by Eywa immaculate conception style. This theory is intriguing in that it would certainly explain Kiri’s uniquely close connection to Eywa; however, the main issue with it is that we’re not sure if that’s something that’s within Eywa’s scope of abilities. I mean, it might be—we just don’t really know for sure at the moment.

The third theory is that Kiri was some sort of clone of Grace’s avatar that somehow received its own consciousness (possibly through Eywa shenanigans), or some sort of early recom prototype. This is the one I’m currently leaning toward most because we know for sure that it’s possible in this universe and would explain the identical stripes etc., though because of her special connection with Eywa which seems to be very important I’m not fully discounting the second theory either.

tl;dr Kiri is a huge mystery owo;

Moving on: Spider. Despite being initially marketed as “Jake and Neytiri’s adopted human son”, it seems that, unlike Kiri, Spider is not really formally adopted into the Sully family so much as simply being very close friends with the kids. He refers to Jake and Neytiri as “Mr. and Mrs. Sully”, not “Mom and Dad” like Kiri does. In the comic we learn that his biological mother, a solider named Paz Socorro, died during the final battle of the first film and his father is unknown, thus leaving him a war orphan. He is technically currently living with a human foster family in Hell’s Gate, though emotionally he connects more with the Na’vi than the humans. We also learned in a recent interview snippet with his actor that Spider was raised exclusively by humans until the age of four, hence why unlike the Sully kids he does not speak English with a Na’vi accent (though he is also fluent in Na’vi). He seems to be particularly close to Kiri in the comic, as well as to Lo’ak according to other sources.

Neytiri…doesn’t like Spider much. She doesn’t trust him due to prejudice against humans, and tends to blame him when the kids get into trouble (which Spider is rightfully bothered by). Jake, meanwhile, mostly feels bad for the kid and wants to cut him some slack/give him a chance.

also worth mentioning that the comic confirmed that Spider’s real name is Miles Socorro. Friendly reminder that “Miles” was also Quaritch’s first name. Make of this what you will…

[bookofmirth]

The more time passes and I realize that the fandom has influenced me to see a triangle where none exists.

Like exactly why Sarah will keep it a mystery of who gets who if the book doesn't even support that.

And I see that it's more the fandom that imposed it and we ended up going with the wave of the majority.

To have the mystery of Elain gets who, the book needs to show a character really in doubt.

Don't get me wrong, Lucien being a partner doesn't make for a love triangle and no mystery about who she ends up with.

Partnership may be rejected.

I stay there because Sarah is going to do a Romance book and not reveal whose book it is because she wants to surprise the fandom.

To me, this looks more like the Publisher obliged to do.

And other than that Sarah never surprised the fandom by switching couples just or needed it.

For me, surprise is in the way the romance happens and the villains than arrest characters to be stuck in the eternal doubt of who wants to stay forever.

To have the mystery of Elain gets who, the book needs to show a character really in doubt.

THIS

There is no doubt right now because Elain and Lucien are not getting along lmao so clearly that isn't stopping her from being with Az. She has no feelings about him (that we know of) that are preventing her from doing what she wants. So what is stopping Elain? Could it be... she doesn't want to be with Az? She isn't torn about what to do because tbh, she doesn't have strong feelings about either of them at this point. Hence, no triangle.

I also agree that this is on the publisher at this point. I was chatting with the group the other day about how with traditional romance, you know far in advance who is getting together. I haven't read Happy Place yet, but I could tell you from the blurb who the main couple is. It's not supposed to be a mystery. Sarah said the remaining books are similar to traditional romance. Hence, it shouldn't be a mystery who is going to be together in the future. It's pretty clear to me what is happening, but hey. IMO things that the reader should take at face value, are not being taken at face value.

surprise is in the way the romance happens

Exactly!

We knew when she made Elain and Lucien mates that it would happen. The fandom read "you're my mate" and hopped on board that ship. Just like reading the blurb on a romance novel. We still read it anyway because we want the tension of wondering how it will happen. You know, the tension she said they will have!

[asukaskerian]

How about Aizen vs. Madara?

*digs through last week's meme asks*

Who would win in a fight

... hm.

this really depends on if madara's rinnegan can see through aizen's illusions.

tbh aizen depends more on manipulation and damaging other people's self esteem. madara damages other people's self esteem as a byproduct of being himself and judging others for not being him. self-doubt? i don't know her. XD he wouldn't be affected. madara just doesn't let go until he's beat into the ground and physically can't keep going any longer; aizen just really deep down wanted an equaaal sobsob so personality-wise madara would shove his head into the nearest toilet and then tell him it was just an attempt to toughen him up. >_>

Who would be a better roommate

*side-eyes madara's depression cave* *appreciatively glances at las noches clean pure lines aesthetic*

ok so cleanliness and decor it's aizen 110%. personality-wise it's... also aizen because he WOULD manipulate me into doing all the chores myself on a schedule of his choosing and i'd thank him for it but... i'd thank him for it irl too because i can't with chores irl to start with. meanwhile madara would just bitch that adversity makes you stronger and a tree root slab is already better than a stone throne so stfu and go to bed.

Who’s better in bed

... does either of them like to touch other people. hm. aizen kinda pings me as possibly germaphobic and entirely contemptuous of earthly needs, so somewhat likely it's madara, but madara is probably neurotic about his genes escaping so even if he's less against sex in theory idk if he has practiced much.

Who I’d pick to be my presidential running mate

aizen, def. HE knows how to hide his "when i want your opinion i'll give it to you" tendencies.

Whose shoulder I’d cry on

...n... neither one...

Who would make a better parent

yeah so uh. neither one should ever have a child or be responsible for a child or a teenager or another human being. but at least with madara you're not getting your illusions about being more than a tool to him completely shattered..? :X

Who I’d rather date

madara ._. he's a snarky bitch, always more entertaining than smooth urbane masks.

[taehyungfirst]

MAN i’ve been pretty on the fence about taehyung and jennie being real since the rumour originally started, mostly because it isn’t my business who he dates, and i just want him to be happy (also i’m a graphic designer/photo editor, and the original leaked photos had certain qualities that stood out as editing mistakes to me). i’ll be honest though, apart of me was relieved.. after he went to that possibly lgbt club in paris last summer, and all those photos he took with models came out, i noticed the speculation on his sexuality was at an all time high, and i was genuinely worried about him going to the military with those rumours surrounding him.. (to be clear, im lgbt myself, and would fully support him regardless of his sexuality, i just want him safe more than anything). but i feel like with every dating “update,” things become more and more WEIRD? we KNOW taehyung (and all the tannies) are extremely private regarding their personal lives, and they know HOW to be private. but it just seems like there is a steady influx of this dating content, and it somehow always coincides with blackpink’s activities (their comeback, the idol release, disbandment rumours..) and quite frankly, if jennie were posting the recent instagram photos as “confirmation,” i would think she and taehyung would’ve discussed it beforehand.. and i really don’t think taehyung would be okay with jennie posting those photos a day before jungkook’s first solo release, because i really doubt he would want his own dating life to be a distraction from his band mate’s accomplishment.. like we KNOW how important the rest of the tannies are to him.. this whole thing is just. really weird. i’d be more convinced they were dating if we hadn’t heard a peep since the first photo “leaks,” tbh. every time something new happens, i become less and less convinced this is a legitimate relationship.. and i’m not any kind of shipper haha, i am not actively looking for evidence to disprove this relationship. this whole thing is just… weird.

idk man. i’m not convinced either way, and it’s not my business who tae is dating (and i say this as someone who’s always liked blackpink and jennie, and wouldn’t have an issue with them actually dating). but the way this whole thing continues happening is just so, so strange, and i just worry about taehyung. i just hope he’s doing okay, regardless of what’s really going on. like. this is one HUNDRED percent me projecting also, and i’m aware of that, but in the celine photos that dropped right after the “hand holding pap walk,” he just… he looked like he was dealing with a lot. i just hope he’s okay.

venting here because i know you care about him and want him happy and safe too, so i thought you’d understand! thanks for letting me vent, haha.

wanna add to this that the articles abt yg, disbandment, and l//isa’s dating rumor disappeared and an article about tae and jennie just dropped straight to #1 trending… are we even surprised?

i agree with everything you said, all i want is him to be free from stalkers and from crazy narratives, i dont want his privacy invaded anymore and him being involved in companies tricks. all i care about is his safety his happiness and his artistry, thank you for sharing your thoughts anon! :)

[backjustforberena]

Do you think had Corlys won the stepstones and had been unharmed that he would’ve came home? I highkey think his self imposed exile would’ve lasted much longer.

Yes, let me think about a canon divergence!! I love these little thought experiments. They're cracking! So, Corlys winning the Stepstones and not getting injured/nearly dying... I think he 100% would have stayed for a little bit longer, but he would have gone home eventually. I think he'd be aware it's the wrong thing to do (to stay), but I think Corlys would have his blinders on and be looking away from the wrongness of not facing his wife. There's also the question of how he views the situation. Is he thinking that Driftmark doesn't need him because it's got Rhaenys? Or is he thinking Rhaenys doesn't need him? What's actually keeping him from going home? Not that I think he gives that too much introspection!

He'd find reasons not to go back to Drfitmark. He needs to create an infrastructure, he needs to stay to oversee repairs to his ships, or he needs to make sure there's no chance of the Triarchy rising again, and that his victory is absolute. What use is he to Driftmark? But, a victory would give him a bit of an answer to that, so I don't think it would have gone on for years. Months, maybe, but eventually it would have looked like he's making a home in the Stepstones and that's just stupid.

Some part of Corlys would be able to come home and be like: I know I left you but look I got us a victory so I'm not useless despite all my previous actions etc etc etc. I think he really needs that win to consider himself worthy again.

But back to the thought experiment. If Corlys was never injured then the Driftmark succession would never be an issue so Rhaenys wouldn't need his help for that.

HOWEVER... he'd be called home, because guess what? Viserys goes and pops his clogs. You can't have an exile when the King dies, mate. When things kick off, he'd have to come back. Either be summoned by Rhaenys (doubtful, tbh), by Rhaenyra (very possible if things really do start going bad) or by Aegon. Someone will want his fealty, and someone will want his ships. So that would force him to face the consequences of his ambitions... and those consequences start and end with the look on his wife's face.

Really hope all that made sense. I'm quite tired!

[starflightgamin]

I've decided to take up journaling, and this blog will be my journal. I'll write down whatever I think here, because honestly I doubt anyone's gonna want to see what I post here lol.

Anyways, not much tonight. Today was good, did great in math. Had a bit of a rough start this morning though; thankfully I was able to completely 180 my day lol. I played Terraria with a friend (he has a gun now), and I even cleaned up my room a bit. However, before my mom shut my internet off, I learned something.

Long story short: there's this LittleBigPlanet server called the LBP Union, and it's "president" (they take govn't roleplay VERY seriously) is Michael Youngling, or M88/Mate Eight as some people call him. And apparently, he and Jvyden (owner of LittleBigRefresh and a VERY cool dude) both used to work together, until some sort of falling out happened between them.

Now KEEP IN MIND this isn't my drama, so I don't have a say in what either of them do. Regardless, I feel the need to journal it down.

But as I was looking up a reference image for Mate Eight (to try and make him into a VRChat avatar] I found a video by an LBP youtuber named Nerdyant64. Apparently something happened, and there was a short era of pressure between Toyo (owner of Infinite; a private LBP server which is seen as the gutter of the LBP community), M88, and Jvyden. I don't know much about Toyo's side (and what I do know I'll discuss later) but apparently Jvyden got mad at M88 because he wasn't running it properly. For example, discussion channel about Project Lighthouse (a custom LBP server reverse-engineering project originally led by Jvy) was private, meaning only staff could talk there. And tbh I have to side on Jvy with that one, having an active chatroom where you can easily talk about an open-source project is way better for the devs AND those wanting to use said project for something (i.e. hosting their own server). Other stuff accused was bias towards moderators, taking the "government" roleplay too seriously (for example, someone inflated the prices in the Unbelivaboat store to simulate inflation in the economy (for digital, fake items? Why?), and a bunch of other stuff I can't talk about because I didn't watch the video.

Anyways, that's enough ranting about LBP community drama for now. I'm very eepy and need to eep. So goodnight, Tumblr. And if anyone is, for some reason, reading this; you sleep well too.

Goodnighty!

[destinyc1020]

Z’s white cast mates not publicly celebrating the LEAD and PRODUCER of their show for making HISTORY is NOT the same as Tom not publicly wishing his gf a happy birthday. It’s insane to even give them the benefit of the doubt. A simple comment would do… Sydney not publicly congratulating Z on her noms or win sends a v clear message. In a very simple way Z celebrated Timmy’s British Vogue cover. It’s literally not hard to acknowledge the black woman leading your show making history. What gets me is you know tom congratulated Z privately… Sydney admitted to mot congratulating Z privately…. it paints a very clear picture.

No I agree Anon, it definitely reeks of shadiness to me. Like I said, as a woc, I'm already used to this type of "treatment", sad to say. 😒

Sydney admitted to mot congratulating Z privately….

Where did she say this?? Anyway...Let's keep in mind also that we really don't know when that article/interview with Sydney was conducted? She may have congratulated Z for her Emmy win/nod by now.  🤷

At any rate, quite a few of Z's cast mates tweeted for Zendaya's FIRST Emmy win back in 2020, and showed support.....Sydney included.

Anyway, while it would have been nice for Sydney to post a solo congrats for Zendaya (actually, I don't recall any of her white co-stars posting anything on IG for her win this year tbh, but I could be wrong), I don't think there was anything necessarily WRONG with Sydney posting the cast at the Emmys and showing love that way either. I mean, just because the rest of the cast/Director didn't win any awards, it doesn't mean that they aren't important or don't help to make the show what it is.  🤷 (But I agree w/you that it seems weird to not ALSO post one solely for Z who made history that night)

And my point with Tom was that just because people don't post something PUBLICLY on social media, it doesn't mean that they haven't said something PRIVATELY.

Social media isn't everything.

[moononastring]

What was your experience like as an OG Elucien? I haven't been around in the fandom that long, but I've seen multiple posts recently about how Eluciens in 2017-18 weren't treated that great by other shippers :(

So I joined the fandom in 2017 after getting into Throne of Glass. EOS had been released at that time and like any normal person who finished EOS and had to wait for the next book at that time, I was having a mental breakdown HAHA. Which is when I realized that I had bought a copy of ACOTAR a few months prior and hadn’t even touched it. Naturally, I knew SJM had drugs in her books so I had to start that series and I became obsessed.

By this time, ACOWAR had already been out which was great for me and I gobbled up the series. Then I joined the fandom. And it was great in the beginning tbh! People were so excited and had so many hilarious shitposts and theories and yeah, different ships were celebrated! People genuinely had fun.

I was a Moriel shipper through and through (which ya know, was toast in ACOWAR lol) and had always loved the idea of Azriel and Elain being really good friends. I had loved Lucien and Elain from the moment he reached for her in the ACOMAF Hybren scene and they were just it for me. I was sold! It honestly surprised me that more people didn't ship them at the time because the aesthetics were immaculate.

But people had different ships and different preferences! And it was totally fine and pleasant and I had so many mutuals that shipped what I didn’t but it was normal, fine! Supportive! We used to reblog each other’s fics and posts, even when we shipped opposite things!! It was really really nice those first few months!!

Until one day…it wasn’t so pleasant anymore. This shift happened where people decided if you shipped Elucien…something was wrong with you. “They are never going to happen.” “Sarah wouldn’t keep Elain with an abuser.” “You’re misogynistic if you ship them.” And all the adorable things Elucien shippers still hear to this day.

And it was never all shippers that said or did this. But it was enough that were nasty and mean. Enough shitty behavior that was normalized and my askbox started getting filled with these nasty anons. But I wasn’t the only one who started seeing this negative behavior and it pushed a lot of eluciens away, which truly sucked. There weren’t so many of us anyway and then many of those that were here then started getting fed up and backed away. It became a thing of “well we’re louder so we must be right” kind of thing from that side which as we all know, is what it looks like now.

There was always some nastiness. However, the difference is that there were people back then who called out that kind of behavior. There was always a reminder that “hey, this is fiction. Chill the fuck out.” There wasn’t as much self-righteousness as there are these days where “my opinion is the only one that is right and if you disagree you’re a pos” lol.

Fandom was fun times and a celebration of creativity. Until everything started getting personal and people turned these fake characters into self-inserts and if you don’t like the way they think about these characters, you’re a garbage human being. At the end of the day, we like what we like about this series and we dislike what we dislike. We can guess, we can theorize but Sarah will write what she writes. We will either be on the same page and continue with the series or we won’t like it and let it go. It's all a guessing game at this point!!

It’s really really really weird to me how much Elucien as a ship gets disregarded lol. They have a soul bond. Everyone loves mates until it gets to them. People want mating bonds for their ships until it gets to them. You can dislike it all you want but don’t be nasty about it because in the end, they’re mates in a series written by an author who loves the mating bond. Who talked about them as a couple as early on as she talked about Nessian and Feysand. No one ever doubted Nessian so I don’t understand the Elucien doubt? All for who, Azriel? Who in every book we see him in still longs for Mor? Elain is as much of a distraction for him as he is for her. But I don’t go into people’s askbox hollering what I think. I don’t fill their tags with my opinion of that ship and what I think of other people’s takes. And trust me, I could. Because some of things I see 🙄 But do you know why I don’t? Because I’m an adult who remembers these characters are fake but the people behind the accounts are real and I know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of shitty asks. It’s not nice or fun or called for.

Eluciens have been getting the shitty end of the stick for years. I admire the Gwynriels who actually bother to reply to the crappy takes/posts and stuff but as I’ve learned over the years, it’s not worth it. I personally don't bother because I truly don't give a single shit and I encourage others to go about it the same way lol. I’m just happy to see more people who ship Elucien and all that they have to offer! They’re my comfort ship and it makes me so happy to see the love. I miss the pleasantness that I had at the beginning of my fandom experience but I have also learned to cater my feed to what I enjoy so I can keep having a good time. It sucks but hey, at the end of the day, it's May 2022 and Elucien are still mates so 🤷🏻‍♀️

[stephspurs]

A Family Affair | Euro 2020 Football Fanfiction

Life is beautiful and life is cruel. This is a window into the souls of the victorious and the vanquished. In a way, football did come home during the summer of 2021. Follow along Amelia’s journey, navigating the football world as a tactical analyst for the Italian football team, with a brother and father part of the three lions. Will Amelia leave Italy and come back to England? Will she leave the Serie A for the Prem? Will she set aside the bianconeri stripes for new colours, leaving behind friendship for love? Maybe she can have both...

Wow - the response i received in a little under 24 hours since i posted the first taste of part 1 has truly bowled me over! I wasn't expecting that reaction & tbh i would have been happy if 2 people wanted to read this story hahaha! So, i've been writing in the background & the first few parts have already been proofed and are ready to go. HOWEVER! I am open to your suggestions so please please let me know what you think and how you want to see Amelia's story play out. As far as i'm concerned, this fic is as much yours as it is mine! So please enjoy this first part, in its entirety, and let me know your thoughts! Love always,

Steph xx

UPDATE as of 31/07: I've made some additional editing changes due to some feedback about the confusion between ben white (her brother) and ben chilwell (not her brother LOL). Nothing has been added to the story, just the addition of either surname has been added where i think it could be more straightforward - for future readers!

Part 1 | prima parte

warnings; none - maybe a bit of angst? (what sibling rivalry doesn't have a bit of angst)

word count; 1978 words

writing tools; third person until dashed line, first person thereafter.

next update; Sunday 25/07 5pm AEST. Updates will be twice weekly at this stage. Probably Wednesday’s and Sundays from next week!!

link to fic masterlist here

The world of football, no matter how big it may seem, is as tight as a close-knit family. Whether its management staff, senior players, scouts, academy players, business developers, medical team, groundskeeper - everyone knows someone who knows someone else involved in the sport. For Amelia White, it was a family affair.

Having grown up with her father as a senior tactical analyst for many different clubs throughout his career, and an older brother currently playing for Brighton in the Premier League, there was no opportunity for her to escape the fanaticism of the sport. It was what her household lived and breathed, football. Most would think that, with her brother being as successful as he is now, her childhood was shadowed by her brother's success but that's not the case. She capitalised on her ability to think both logically and creatively, and absorbed all of the information her father could give her as if she was a sponge, to establish a name of her own in the sport and advance her career in the sport. At the age of 21 she upped and left the comforts of her home in West London, accepted a position at Juventus within their graduate program & worked her way up the ranks to be their youngest tactical analyst by the age of 24.

So far in her career, the support of her mother, father & brother were unmatched by any. They were all so proud of her for making her own name, proving herself and succeeding in one of the most competitive football leagues in the world. She was smart, tactful, both meticulous and ruthless in her approach to her career and the success of her players. Because after all, they were her players. She worked day in and day out, studying them and their opponents, drafting performance plans and set pieces for every possible outcome of the play, so that they could perform at their best. They had her trust and faith, and she had theirs. This is probably what her family was most proud of, and wished her every success, until she was appointed as a tactical analyst for the Italian National Team for the upcoming Euro 2020 tournament. Which happened to be the same tournament that her brother had received his call up to the Three Lions. Which was the current level at which her father was a senior tactical analyst for the English National Team. The Euro 2020 Tournament was about to be a real family affair...

10 July 2021

It had been 2 months since she last had any contact with her family. 3 months ago, Amelia signed a contract with the Federcalcio, the governing body of football in Italy, to become the Azzurri’s tactical analyst for the foreseeable European Football Championship. In turn, her silky signature at the bottom of the agreement, also constituted a digital and physical contact ban with members of her family that were also involved with the tournament...her father and her brother.

At the time of the contract, and against her better judgement, Amelia hadn’t told her family of her opportunity. She knew her father would be proud, but her brother would be bitter. Her mother was switzerland, completely neutral and rooting for both of her children - but that's not how football works. No matter your role you have a job to do, and you do everything you can to make sure it is your team that lifts the trophy at the end of the tournament. So, on May 23rd her family congratulated her for another successful season at Juventus, and unbeknownst to them, said goodbye for the next 2 months. Until the day before the final match of the tournament, Italy v. England.

Her heart dropped when England won their semi final match against Denmark. She wanted nothing more than for her brother to be happy and for her father to succeed, but she didn’t want to have to go up against them in the final. Ultimately, she knew they were good, but she also knew that she could hold her own and compete with the best. Having a close relationship with her brother, up until this period, meant that she often paid attention to the premier league. This was a major benefit to her as she had already started analysing the azzurri’s opponents. It was her job to know what foot Raheem Sterling preferred to pass with, what direction Declan Rice preferred to take the ball up the field, what direction of receiving the ball did Harry Maguire struggle the most with. So that's how she spent the three days between matches, solidifying her knowledge of her opponents & predicting the plays her dad would be instructing the English team to complete, to attempt to outperform the Italians. However nothing would prepare her for the knock on her suite door, or for what was on the other side…

_____________________________________________________________

“Ciao Amelia, vieni con me per favore. abbiamo organizzato una visita supervisionata con tuo fratello prima della finale di domani sera. sorpresa!” (hi amelia, come with me please. we have arranged a supervised visit with your brother prior to the final tomorrow night. surprise!). I stood there in shock staring at one of my players & closest friends, Federico Bernardeschi. I was a person who didn't enjoy spontaneity, who thrived off of preparation and organisation. I needed the opportunity to overthink every situation so that I could prepare for every possible outcome. This was not my idea of a good time. Of course I missed my brother, but I know just how volatile he can be. Nevertheless, I grabbed my jacket and shoved my sneakers on before following Fede down the hall and into a blacked out van that was waiting to take me to St. George’s Park for my family reunion.

Upon arriving, and after a stern pep talk from Fede (who was my appointed supervisor for the visit - not sure I would say he was the most responsible choice but he did talk some sense into me) I walked into the main entrance and saw my father leaning against the reception desk waiting for me.

“Papa!!” I called as I walked over to him, ready to smother him with my love and affection. My father, Dean White, and I had as good of a relationship as possible, being that he was always heavily involved with my brother Ben’s footballing career as well as his own. I think when I came along, my father didn't know how to be a girl dad, so he took my mothers advice and just involved me like he would Ben. I was glad that I would be seeing him first, and he would be taking me to see my no-doubt pissed off brother.

“Dad, this is Fede, one of my players”

“Ciao Dean, it’s very nice to meet you but i am also her bodyguard for this evening” Fede introduced himself to my father and they exchanged pleasantries. I had a look around the foyer of the facility until I heard my name brought up in conversation.

“Amelia, come on. The boys are just over here. I don’t think you have long before heading back to your camp” My dad called to me. Boys? As in...more than just my brother?

“Hahaha that's funny dad, just show me to his room and we can have our screaming match there. Should only be about 20 or so minutes”

“Ben’s not in his room, we have a recreation room for the players and staff to lounge about and relax in. Pretty sure he’ll be in there. Come on, you’ve never been scared of your brother before. Why start now?” Before I knew it, Dad was leading us through some doors and into a large common area with bean bags, pool tables and couches - all occupied by current first team members of the English National Football team.

“Dean mate, don’t normally see you down here after 7pm. Oh look at that, someone let the trash in.” A loud mouthed player, that I used to adore as if he was my own brother, calls out as he notices us enter the room. And just like that, I shake off my nerves, stand in front of my taller & more argumentative bodyguard, relax my shoulders and stare into the eyes of Kyle Walker - daring him to challenge me and push me further.

“Relax Kyle, Benjamin White - your sister is here to see you.” Dad cut Kyle off. I didn’t need him to defend me against Kyle’s harsh comments, I could defend myself.

“Wow, I thought hell would freeze over before I got the opportunity to speak to you. Of course, I didn't realise hell would look quite like seeing you in that shade of blue.” My brother, Ben, spoke bitterly at me as he approached me from the other side of the room. This, coupled with Walker’s exclamation earlier, got the attention of the majority of the players scattered about.

“Ben, if you let me explain in private I'm sure you will be able to understand why things had to be this way” I tried to reason with him. Letting go of my always-defensive guard and pleading with my big brother to open his mind to see my side of the story.

“As if I would even talk to you right now, the night before the final, you’re probably here to try and get some insider information. Boys make sure you don’t say anything to her, she’s as sly as they come” Ben’s words were as sharp as a knife - but I knew what I had to say would cut him deeper.

“Ok that's enough! You are ridiculous! What did you expect me to do? Not take the job because you’re my brother? This is my career we are talking about here” I challenged him. “If you think for one second i stopped supporting you then you must be even more stupid than i thought. Of course this isn't the ideal situation, I'm proud of you for reaching a final but I'm just as proud of myself for doing the same thing.” I got progressively closer to my brother, who stood there with his hands beside himself, unable to get a word in.

“I came tonight to wish you good luck, to tell you I loved you, to give you a hug and tell you to stay safe and play smart. Whilst I still wish all of this for you, I now want you to know that I want you to play your best so I can be better than you. I can show you exactly how good at my job I am. I want you to know that no matter what way you play the ball, I'll be right there waiting for you. I am prepared for this, I hope you are too - so that it will feel that much more sweet when we beat you” I sneered at my older brother, who at this point, is quite visibly feeling a mixture of shock and embarrassment.

I take a step back, let out a breath and shake the tension from my shoulders. Breaking eye contact with my brother, I look briefly - yet confidently - at the other players in the room and take a step back. I turned to my dad, who was looking at me solemnly, as though he wasn’t happy with my outburst but understood it came from a place of frustration with my sibling. Walking up, giving him a kiss on the cheek and wishing him luck, I turned to look at Fede and began to walk to the door. This interaction with my brother, although supposed to be a nice moment shared between siblings, has only gone and motivated me to be at my best tomorrow, to prepare my players to go to war and to come out the other side victorious.

Part 2 | seconda parte