#but that got kinda fixed by smth a month later

[bruneburg]

remembering something cringy you did in the past like

[profounddefendorcrusade-blog]

I feel bad for Starlo. (pt. 7)

Staroba is... not my cup of tea.

Still can't get over the fact Ceroba showed so little empathy for Star. It becomes even worse when you remember she started lecturing him ALL while wanting to take Clover's soul herself and lied to his face just so she could later betray the kid. At least Star tried to fix things. She started digging deeper and deeper into her plan and in the end got forgiven really easily.

I keep thinking Ceroba sees Starlo as a childish little bro or smth and even mentions how the reason she chose Chujin was because he was "mature." Yeah he WAS more serious in terms of personality but everyone's different. Chujin wasn't morally perfect anyway

'Back when I was a naive kid, kinda like you' and 'hey, it's science. your brain is still developing' rub me the wrong way. Basically what I got from this is how she thinks only someone childish and emotionally underdeveloped would consider a relationship with Starlo

Ceroba seems to view Star as a "poor naive manchild" who needs babysitting. She feels so bad for him that she'd sometimes tag along with his antics but won't hide the annoyance most of the time.

She'll also spare him from his feelings getting hurt, which is nice but it's not her honest opinion:

She seems to show little appreciation for what he tried to do for her even though they're supposedly best pals. She says how she's been burying her sorrows in the saloon but not how spending time there even slightly cheered her up.

She envies Star's optimism but imo it sounded more like an adult envying a kid's naivety than one adult admiring the other.

And APPARENTLY the time she spent with Clover in Steamworks cheered her up a little but not what Star's been doing for her for months.

heck she didn't even notice he had been doing it for her. too stuck in her sorrows, probably

I think the reason for this is because the Steamworks reminded her of Chujin and Kanako and the life they used to have. Btw, she loved Chujin waaaay too much (and even though he's gone now she still doesn't think she'll ever be with anyone else except Chujin, she's proud of Chujin for a useless award, she still calls Chujin 'her love,' she keeps talking about Chujin's legacy and how Asgore and everyone else never believed in him), to the point she stubbornly supported him without question, only (maybe) seeing him more realistically at the end of pacifist. I just feel like Ceroba doesn't take Starlo seriously. It's not that she doesn't care about him at all, but… she definitely doesn't get him.

For these reasons, I'm not a fan of staroba.

[luinhealthcare]

i was reasing your response to an ask and my brain did a thing that made me pull a botw regaining a memory kinda brainwave (the in-game way not the wild-is-having-an-absence-seizure-way) [aka u r getting a brain dump because i dont currently have the executive function budget to make it ~fancy words~ but i wanted to do smth]

I could kinda see Wind and Wild getting really excited about learning new things, and one time they learn about that whole 'parallel-play'/'body-doubling' idea and get really excited and ask lots of questions about it and then get in their heads "Sky is kinda down a lot lately, maybe we should like. pay a visit and do some same-spacing!"

aaaaand they do and Sky is kinda like guys. guys pls. because he really isnt up for company, but after a bit of an overenthusiastic start where Wind kinda talks too much too close, they all do just plonk themselves in different areas of the room.

Wind is studying silently, Wild is fixing something or playing a handheld he borrowed, and Sky honestly is just kind of napping/depression void staring on the couch but its easier for him to stop spiraling when he remembers that he isn't alone even if its the same comfortable silence.

Eventually he picks up a book he started months ago and was really enjoying before he just kind of... stopped reading. kinda entirely for a while there. And he is reading it and enjoying it again even if it makes his eyes tired faster and he gets tired in general from just reading. He takes a break to let his eyes relax and wander, Wind is still studying. Theres a quiet sound of something falling, and Sky thinks Wild put his thing down or fell asleep, but when he looks bro is zoinked, just staring and making the occasional hand motion (this is supposed to be the absence seizure thing- idk if thats accurate)

He zones back in, n rubs his eyes and kinda looks around and sees sky staring now and tries to play it off as he is sleepy. sky is like 'same bro'

words words all 3 of them end up watching a movie on the couch but Wild zones out again at least twice and Sky is trying to figure out how to kinda tattle on the situation to time, but he isnt sure whats up. Wind falls asleep and Sky tries to ask Wild if HE is depressed, because sometimes Sky's brain and body just disconnect when he is in a really bad Big Sad, and he guesses maybe thats what it looks like from the outside when he kind of locks up and has the internal metal argument over whatever it is at the time

/word'splosion

Yooo I love this idea!! Gonna bookmark it so I can write it later :D Lian you’re an inspiration ❤️ Oh, just imagine Sky’s guilt when he realizes too late how Wild got into his motorcycle accident. And this might be the first hint Wild or any of them get that something is really wrong with Sky too.

[ayyponine]

some real dread pirate roberts type shit going on at work this week

SO ive worked at this clothing store fr less than a month now. First two weeks did a lot of learning and fucked up a lil but am getting more and more capable both w the practical skills and just feeling more at ease with colleagues & customers, chatting, keeping the mood light etc as I’m growing more into it & getting comfortable with everything the job really entails.

Now later this month another store is opening not too far from ours, so a bunch of staff is being shifted around in addition to new people coming in to train fr the same position I’ve got. But since I’ve already had some on the job training & have bonded w the people there I’m in this weird in-between position where now I’m the one comforting newbies, giving them helpful tips, and fixing practical issues they’re facing by just parroting what I’ve learned frm the (assistent) manager barely two weeks ago.

Simultaneously the (assistent) managers are busy w the organisation of getting the new store all set up so there’s a new assistent manager at OUR store who’s super impressed w how much I can already manage individually despite having only been on this job for, again, less than a month. All week I’ve been kinda all-round polyvalent on the floor, keeping an eye on the newbies while completing my own tasks, helping where needed, keeping it all running smooth, even being kind of a right hand woman to the new assistent manager and helping w her multitude of tasks & learning a lot from her experience & perspective. We get along GREAT by the way.

But yeah the other day a newbie did smth wrong at the checkout terminal and it was such a weird deja vu type moment to calmly step in, walk her through how to fix the problem, and make small talk w both the customer and her to make light of the situation (blaming it on the computer system is always an option <3 instead of on yrself) to keep everyone in a happy mood even if there’s a minor hiccup. instant flashback to the assistent manager & other sales girl doing the exact same thing fr me when i managed to achieve a way bigger fuckup in my very first week.

Additionally I was grouped in w the newbies this past Wednesday to attend an informative meeting on the new store & the brand’s vision in general and the higher ups presenting it were rlly impressed w me. Bc of both my positive and helpful attitude (my comfort in speaking up being here bc I’ve grown accustomed to my colleagues & bc I sensed the newbies were mb a lil nervous to voice their thoughts) and knowhow (giving insightful answers to their questions on what to do bc obv I’ve had a few weeks of real experience to draw relevant input from). Which I could already tell bc during the meeting they were already like “yES exactly thank you thats a good point!” but then afterwards I was approached in particular bc they wanted to point this out again that they were v happy to hear me talk abt my positive experience and heart for the company, AND while I was busy working they also chatted w another sales girl & the assistent manager there and apparently AGAIN said to THEM they were really  impressed w my energy so wooohoooooo

It’s genuinely a fake it till you make it type thing and I’m not expected to know everything yet,,given room to make mistakes and grow - my training contract runs till mid november and only after that I’ll be seen as a real employee, but again, less than a month in my training period they’re already sO impressed w my progress and how much I’ve settled in as a real valuable team player. With a bunch of people who’ve seen me struggle being filtered out and sent to the new place and the new people ranking both higher and at the same level having no clue how much I actually don’t know and am just making do on what i HAVE learned so far, really managing ro stay afloat and even be an asset on just that somehow. Alright okay sure yeah

(had some really nice customer interactions as well meanwhile. and i love all my colleagues. it’s always possible someone falls ill either here or there and people get shifted to fill the spot but mostly a position in one store is pretty fixed so I’ll miss them! Then again there’s some type of synergy social event going on a good week frm now where I think everyone from EVERY branch in the country is going to so I’ll see them again! And have the chance to meet a bunch of other people in the company as well :) so yeah the new job continues being so much fun ngl!)

[gooferdusted]

hypothetically, if I were to write a fix-it/rewrite au fic, (thinking of starting at s5 but debating starting earlier) what are some storylines you’d take out/change, characters you’d save/kill, and specifically changes to sam’s character/arcs you’d like bc i need ideas

ok. ok. I'm gonna try to not go completely off the fucking rails while I write this up but I gotchu (also these r all just my own hot n spicy takes so like. pick what u like, it's all goodie goodie)

• no time passing differently in hell. literally four months is ~Enough!~ a year is enougghh!!!!!! like I get that they wanted to make hell this horrible unreachable thing but u can still like... get that across without having it be this unfathomable chunk of time out of a persons life. like sam was down there with TWO very pissed off angel's for 180 years??? how can he still speak english??? how does dean remember ANYTHING about his old life when mentally more than half of it was spent being endlessly tortured until he finally cracked??? its just.... Too Much...

• ON that note, I feel like later on they never rlly had sam and dean bond over the fact that like... they are genuinely the ONLY two people on earth who have survived actual hell. I mean we got that one off line from dean at some point but??

• no chuck as god. just a greasy greasy rat man getting insane stories projected into his brain. and on the topic of that.... I dont like the reflection of the real life fanbase in the spn universe??? they're pulp fiction novels, it should be all like 50 year old + ladies who picked them up at the local bargain bin, not b*cky r*sen

• I like... WANNA say smth abt s4..... bc I think the way that they handled things were a little out of character BUT I also think that was lind of the point??? like the angels and demons were manipulating them to say/do things they would normally never say/do to eachother to drive a big enough wedge between then that they would eventually say yes to being the vessels. like it hurts to watch sooo much but it did drive the plot forward in a very particular way that probably couldnt have happened otherwise. that being said, when the levee breaks makes me sad, and I dont want to see sam crying for his dead mother alone in a basement! cest la vie.

• sam and dean.... are Friends...,, why did we all forget that..... watch hell house and maybe I'll calm down.....

• PSYCHIC SAM!!!!!! you all know me. you know how I feel about psychic sam... robbed. s4 finale rlly had sam like "drinking that much demon blood has truly changed me forever..... theres no going back now...... 😔😔" like ok. ok. where are your superpowers. where are they.

• I wish some of the other special children had made it out :(( I really liked andy and ava (also sam finding other friend who are like him??? queer allegory??? spare queer allegory?????)

• I also dont think the roadhouse shouldve burned down!!! that shouldve been a Staple Location like Bobby's house. same w Missouri's, literally why did we only visit her once.

• ur sending an ask to my blog so I assume this is just a given for u but!!! we're takin away the misogyny. we're takin away the fetishization! anything that would be given the greenlight by joss whedon we are putting straight in the trash. <3

• this is mostly a thing in later seasons like. idk 9-15, but no ppl knowing who the winchesters are. they are NOBODIES. they pop up like little meerkats and fuck everything up beyond repair.

• also no fancy tech. no iphone 76z or whatever the fuck. sam has an ipod 1. the wheel is so stuck he can barely press play anymore. remember when he literally just tore off the top casing off his laptop and threw it away? more of that.

• no nice clothes. NO nice clothes we fuckin hate that. everything sam and dean own was purchased pre 1995 and dean is an expert at removing blood stains and sewing up jackets. dean will walk into a laundromat with a tide pen and just start goin for it like that scene in deadpool.

• tbh.... I feel like the issues in later seasons are really this massive horrible domino effect. like I could say heres how to fix s7-10 but the fact is if shit hadnt gone down lile it had in s7 s10 would be a different story entirely.

• I am gonna do it tho bc I suck <3

• s6: soulless sam was funney but did that really go anywhere? no. tbh I dont remember what happened w cas and I'm just not going to look it up. it's just not in the cards for tonight. dean w lisa.... ehh.... I've discussed this at wayy too much length w mushroom and we both agreed that dean would probably keep hunting to keep his mind off things and to try and honor sams sacrifice. I guess theres an argument to be made for the fact that it kind of was Sam's dying wish that dean just go fin her and live a normal life but... idk. purgatory was. . indeed a Concept..... that could have maybe gone somewhere if it didnt rapidly spiral into....

• s7!!! I mean. jesus christ. I know some people like this one but jesus christ. the way they literally couldnt commit to having sam have genuine mental health problems after centuries in hell or to just magically wipe them away..... bobby dying halfway thru.... charlie was a bright spot I suppose, but her intro is not my fave episode w her.... idk what the fuck happened w cas, I guess he was god. the leviathan designs were kinda neat but like oh my fucking god it wasnt worth it.

• s8: uh. rough start. idk why the turn tables so suddenly and dean's like "why didnt u look for me >:((" bc??? yall agreed not to???? at the VERY least they couldve had sam been like "I legitimately had no reason to think u werent dead and in heaven and tha wouldve been a little rude of me to pull u out of that." but we went for ~drama~ to make it spicy I guess. ouygh. bunkers there!!! that was cool!!! MoL is a cool concept!!! altho... it doesn kinda contradict the whole sam and dean are nobodies thing... idk. trials of hell was like... cool in theory but bad in practice unless they were planning on ending the show for realskies. and they did not.

• s9: uhh... hated gadreel! hated that shit! wish they had spun that whole storyline to be more "hey sam I noticed u were s*icidal should we maybe address that??" or even like.... I mean dean probably couldve just TOLD sam abt his plan, he had already convinced him to stay alive by that point??? there was no reason to lie!!! plus the betrayal of gadreel not being who he said he was wouldve been like. literally enough drama, we didnt need to fracture the team again. and cas was??? where exactly??? be was human for at least half of that season but hey didnt know what to do w him so they chucked him in a convenience store??? good lord.

• s10: got no suggestions for that one, just toss it

• s11: ok... shes cute.... we can forgive her.... the lore is shaky at best but the episodes SLAP and the characterization is *chefs kiss*. it's been a hot minute since I've seen it so if smth sucked I dont remember and I plan to keep it that way!!!!

• s12: n.. no. no mary. no mary unless we're doing it right. and I promise u doing it right was not poorly ripping off kingsman. couldve brought back bobby!!! if they desperately wanted some drama couldve brought back john!!! actually fuck that, no way

• s13-15: no thoughts, only jack kline <3

[occasionallyish--archive]

Whenever I'm getting tired of a maladaptive daydream series that's been going on in my head for a while, I either kill my character off or kill somebody important to them off or make them fall into obscurity– Except I literally cannot do that with yesterday's daydream so I decided why not write it all down?

In this current daydream, I'm the elusive leader of some underground organization literally called The Underground. Set 5-6 years after the current ongoins of BNHA, we essentially help people disappear from the eyes of the public(and the government!)– Whether they be ex-villains or ex-felons or civilians that just want a new life, we're happy to help. We host these huge, monthly, elaborate charity parties so that we can get funds and also donate some of those funds to other organizations dedicated to the homeless and the hungry! Also, I'm Dabi's best friend and he's my right hand man. After establishing all of this, I kinda of hit a roadblock as to where I wanted to turn, so I had my villainous ex-lover invade one of these parties and hold me at gunpoint.

Except... This was getting interesting! I decided I didn't wanna die just yet. So we go back, do a bit of rewriting– And decide that various heroes (MindJack, FreezerBurn, Cellophane, 30-y/o Hawks for some reason) were getting these threatening letters all about "dispose of him or I will" sharing things like the time and place of the party that dearest ex-lover invades. They come in just to see what's up with the place– Maybe provide some protection for this random guy that's getting death threats– and everything goes as it did originally, except with added pressure because these hero guys are there for my protection! So anyway that goes on and like a month or some other semi-short while goes by and I've been established as friends with the heroes and now I've decided "let's just have a semi-flirty friendship with Hawks and call it a day!"

Except, well, I decided with all the ideas flooding my brain I should just put a stop to em and turn to another daydream. And so, why not kill off Dabi and make me disappear off the face of the earth??? Yeahhhhh,,,, So Dabi goes missing for a while and somehow my guy Hawks get intel on where we may be able to find him so I tag along with a couple of heroes on what could be a rescue mission. And just as I say something stupid like, "Oh yeah, he can hold his own! He'll be fine :)" we slide open the doors to this werehouse and there he is... On the ground...... Heavily bleeding and Very Well Dying :(. I go to him and sob and he's on the brink of death when he tells me to just keep on talking to him. So I tell him how he's my closest friend in the history of ever. And I tell him I love him. And I tell him stories from my life before I became immersed in The Underground, and his last words to me before he stops breathing are a little laugh and an amused little, "You're such a dumbass." The ambulance gets there but it's too late. A week later, I'm hit with the press asking about my relationship with the former villain, and how I feel regarding his death... I respond "He was my best friend. And I loved him. And I'm sad. Is that enough for the tabloids?" And then after that interview I announce I'm taking a sabbatical from life, leave The Underground in the hands of a trusted friend (either Mustard or an oc of mine called Akira), and disappear off the face of the Earth

Except, ohoho, this was truly getting interesting! So I decided, 6 months later, I'd reappear from nowhere. And how do I make my entrance? A surprise, truly. I'm taller, I'm bolder, I'm happier than I've been in a long time– And I walk right into a party as hosted by whomever currently runs The Underground. A number of my hero friends are there. I walk right up to the host, get a hug from him, dismissively explain that I was just "far away" and that I'd be happy to reposses the responsibilities of The Underground in a month or so– Because I want another little while to live a little bit less stressfully, but surrounded by all my people. After a talk with the host, I find Hawks– We exchange snarky comments and he tells me he thought I was joking when I said I'd be taking a break from life. I tell him "Well, now ya know" and then he teases me about how a certain someone is staring. I laugh and raise a brow– Then he tells me how one Hanta Sero has been calling him every other week, asking if there's been any updates on my status. How Sero's been antsy to see me again. How he's worried. I laugh and roll my eyes like he's just teasing, but then he tells me to look to my left or smth and I do and... I lock eyes with tape man. He chokes on whatever he's drinking. I go to him and we get to talking and maybe a bit of flirting– I can't not tease him mercilessly. I go a little bit more in detail about my whereabouts– "Exploring my roots, and all that. Going 'round the world in 6 months." He calls me pretty and I ask if he's flirting, to which he confirms. I laugh and explain, "Well, pretty boy, a lifetime ago, I told myself I'd never get with anybody whose job had 'potential death' in the description– Heroes included." He pouts, but he understands. "Except, maybe let me get to know you more. I'd be willing to rewrite my rules, if you can show me it's worth it." An outing and a couple dates later, Sero unexpectedly ends up in the hospital

But I didn't wanna kill him off lol, I love him too much! So, I say that, in the line of duty, he fractures his knee or smth. But thanks to quirks and modern technology, they can fix it! I rush in and I'm worried but I'm assured it's all good. By the time he's cleared to go home, he's looped up on painkillers and his hero friends are conveniently back on the job and since he probably shouldn't be left alone, I'm left to take him! I take him home and we sleep and when we wake up, we're cuddlin or something cliche like that. He looks at me and all he sees is beauty, and he just.. Stares, for a while. But then I wake up, and I feel that spark, and I cup his cheeks in my hands. We stare at eachother, and after a second, we share a kiss to remember. Later I tell him that I want to kiss and I want to hold hands, but I don't want to put a full committment into it– Not until I have my full job back and we figure out if we can both handle the stress of that. And he understands. So, soon I've got full ownership of The Underground again. I host a party and people can see me n tape man are unusually close, this time. In the next party, we hold hands– He gets all nervous and I tell him, "At this point, darling, if you wanted to, I wouldn't mind if you shouted our relarionship out to this whole room." The party after that, he has to come in late because he was away at a convention or smth and his flight was delayed. He makes a big show of running up to me and scooping me in his arms and finally, officially announcing our relationship with another kiss to remember. We're together for years, after that. He moves in with me, we get a cat, he regularly even helps with managing The Underground. Life is good. And then for some reason I get shot.

Then, we're in the hospital room– I wake up to him at my bedside, hair messy and eyebags prominent and worry-lines creased in his face. He's kind of rambling, talking about whatever comes to mind. I move to grab his hand, sending a smile his way. He smiles back and takes a deep breath, before lifting my hand up to kiss my knuckles. We greet eachother with loving little "Hey."s. He tells me the guy that shot me is locked up and won't hurt me again. He tells me he knew I'd pull through, but that he was worried I'd be permanently hurt. I told him I probably would be. The mood gets heavy, but then I kind of tug on his hand and give him a goofy smile, "By the way..." He raises a brow and suddenly the mood is lightened, when I hum out a lighthearted yet serious "Let's get married, Hanta"

Anyway this is the only daydream in which I haven't been able to die... So I decided I'd just write it down and say that we ended on a good note! Because I can't really juggle multiple daydreams, and ideas tend to come daily so I always have something different to work with. Never get bored, ykyk? And no way am I letting this kinda awesome Sero brainrot burn me outta good content for myself

Or I'll just get sniped during the wedding ceremony lol I don't know if my character is op enough to come back from that–

[tanis-drawings-2point0]

the other day i realized theres a couple of similarities between my two otps so Obviously i needed to make a... crossover? au? a far far au

anyway, unrelated, ai!martin and hackerwoman sasha :’) and some au details under the cut!

(shoot out to @crykea who drew him once and ill never be over it <3<3<3) (twitter.com/cryke_art/status/1164992234552320000 posting it like this so it appears in the tag, anyway go look it up its beautiful ;_;)

-HEAD ARCHIVIST RENÉE!! ARCHIVAL ASSISTANT DOUG!! sidenote hes a beholding snack for all the known reasons

-Commander Sims and Officer Stoker, need i say more? i do, i do need to say more

-Doctor James and AI Martin (sidenote i love wolf’s thing of naming ais/ships w/ gods names, hence mars, but i like the idea of him not rly liking the name and among the four coming up w/ that name) 

-im not gonna lie i dont have a lot bc my aus are all over the place but imagine: kinda s1 jontim interactions until Something Happens (space monsters?) and the ship gets nearly destroyed, sasha gets jettisoned into space, martin is turned off and jon and tim have that bonding time i so desperately crave

-they manage to partially fix martin and together they hold the station in one piece while trying to search for sasha until one day months later shes back! and everything is fine! for a while, until jon is looking up data of the craft or smth and discovers that, well, sasha james died......... shes like what of course not? but the moment tim hears that hes pointing a gun at her and its very very sad for everyone involved (he doesnt do anything tho bc both jon and martin are like hey hEY WAIT)

-tim knows abt alien clones but only by a transmission so he doesnt know abt alien clones yknow? also am i implying danny got cloned and thats why tim is there in the first place? to find out wtf happened? absolutely

-imagine lovelace’s shuttlecraft story and eiffel’s may day combined. Thats what she’s been up to those months. I Would Die For Her.

-and ok this started 100% jontim but yall know im poly og crew’s #1 fan so, yeah

-on the other hand i havent thought too much abt the minffel side of the au bc im not a fan of current archivist stuff BUT...... season 1? where hes not the best assistant but still does his job p well? unfriendly/friendly banter? sign me tf up. Also yes the image is an x files reference lmao

-honestly before the actual monsters start appearing imagine them being like “most of these stories are obviously fake, doug” “WHAT are you talking about?? you cant fake this!!”. He has a joke “i want to believe” poster. He calls her scully. im going to fucking cry

-ANYWAY hilbert is also probably there? and hes an avatar of smth idk i didnt thought abt it much after “minffel”. hera&lovelace are around somewhere, jacobi and kepler as well, the last two desolation and web(?) avatars (maxwell is also around but i cant think of a power for her, maybe shes human! a very extremist human whos all abt progress)

-fast foward three seasons and, well, the IDEA of min compelling eiffel to tell her his backstory is horrible and heartbreaking, but boy i love it

thats all i have :)

[chemically-imbalanced-romance]

Sanders Sides Clique!AU

Max: hey everyone send prompts

Max: *makes this garbage instead*

- I wanted to make a punk!au bc I’m obsessed with @asofterfan’s and I’m Starved For Content™ but punk isn’t smth I know too much about but you know what is?

-Emo

-Emo things

-I’m better at the sad part of pain than the angry part

-Virgil and Deceit are the emo boyos.

+ Virgil is a transboy because I’m projecting and after he decided to come out, he said “fuck it” and decided to change everything else he hated about himself, too

* He was always super inspired by Deceit from afar- Watching him flirt and laugh and socialize and straighten his back and walk with his chin up and he was high key aesthetically pleasing

+ Dece ((deh-see)) is the most Extra™ emo in the school. He’s got lip and eyebrow piercings, wears this really flowy black and gold trench coat and combat boots with spikes. His hair is jet black and he refuses to leave the house without a thick coat of eyeliner and what do you mean it’s contacts no my eyes are actually that dark what fuck off-

+ Virgil was inspired by the look, but went with a more tame version of it. He dyed his hair a vibrant purple and began religiously applying foundation and black eyeshadow under his eyes, but otherwise stuck with ripped jeans, Converse, and hoodies. He was so proud of his new look that the next day he forced up the confidence to walk straight over to Dece and show him.

+ They got close fast, and were best friends for the majority of two years before Logan convinced Virgil to cut him off for his lying habits.

+ Virgil and Dece were both destroyed, and Dece didn’t come back to school for two weeks, but Logan took care of Virgil until he was back into a better headspace

- Logan is not only really subtlety goth, but a prodigy in psychology and sociology.

+ He wears dark jeans and black or gray collared shirts, unbuttoned to the top of his chest, and his hair is naturally black and for the most part messy.

+ He can’t be bothered to fix it, there’s too much to do.

+ He has a lip piercing and messes with when he’s focusing and usually has a bunch of rings, or at least a couple necklaces on at once

+ Draws sharpie tattoos on himself when he’s bored

- He and Virgil met a year after Virgil met Dece because Virgil was having a panic attack in the middle of their English class and Logan was, 1) the only one who knew what to do, and 2) The only one other than the teacher who wasn’t laughing at him

+ Virgil kinda hung on to Logan like a lost puppy after that. He kept his guard up reeeeaaaall high in case of any sign Logan didn’t want him around anymore, but Logan actually quite liked his company and grew comfortable with him fast.

- Patton is the most bubbly, outgoing, sweetest scene kid there is.

+ His hair changes from a variety of pastel colours. His hair is naturally super light blond and the pastels fade quickly, so he’s able to come to school with a new colour pretty much every month and a half.

+ His favourite? Bubblegum pink.

- Doesn’t know what gender roles are.

+ ((He does but you’ll never know))

- *comes to school in a skirt and knee socks*

Administration: You have to go change you can’t be wearing girls’ clothes

Patton: What? These are my clothes!

Administration:

- One day Logan notices Virgil staring at him because he’s wearing the cutest purple skirt ever and he needs it where did he get it and he’s wearing it with this black crop top that just shows a strip of skin and he’s just ??? Fashion icon??? Role model??? M u s t h a v e

+ So Logan’s just like “bitch to do smth” and Virgil’s ????? “I’d rather die”

+ So Logan just gets up and Virgil’s entire world ends as Logan goes over to him, but Logan doesn’t bring Patton to the lunch table- He talks to Patton for a few minutes, Patton looking absolutely delighted, and comes back saying, “He’ll sit with us on Friday, is that enough time to prepare?” and Virgil’s ???? shit i’m in love

- Remy and Roman are 1) theatre bros and 2) The most annoying people in the whole entire school.

+ Every morning for two weeks straight after they listened to BMC together Remy, at seven in the morning, at the top of his lungs, the second Roman walked into the classroom door, sang “ROMAN MAKES AN ENTRANCE”

+ the first time he did it, Roman screamed in terror and then laughing so hard he cried and had to go to the nurse’s with an upset stomach

+ Roman is an actor and refuses to believe he won’t go into every audition with a 100% chance of getting the lead role.

+ When this doesn’t happen, he’s bummed and Remy and him listen to Hamilton and then he’s pumped up again and ready to kick ass in whatever role he did end up getting

- Remy is mostly stage crew. He helps with the sets and the soundboard. Sometimes he plays an extra, but the only reason he really loves theatre so much is because of the atmosphere.

+ Theatre is both Really Gay and Really Loud which is pretty much Remy summed up

- Remy and Virgil met pretty early on, before Virgil was even friends with Dece, because Virgil stayed after almost every day to help work on the sets. He did most of the sketches and then helped choosing colour pallets, before dropping off some Wendy’s or smth and disappearing

+ Roman didn’t talk to Virgil until they met officially, since he was too focused on being #perfect, but Remy was constantly bitching about being tired and an insomniac and UGHGHGHGHGH VIRGIL DO YOU HAVE ANY CONCEALOR THESE BAGS ARE ATROCIOUS

V: Uhhhh I have some eyeshadow?

Re: ...

Re: Sorry honey I know it’s your look and everything and I support you but that is not a fashion trend I stan ROMAN DO YOU HAVE ANY CONSEALOR-

((How many different ways can Max spell counselor bet))

+ So one day Virgil brought him a Starbucks along with the usual food he brings for the people who stay late, and Remy’s like “I’m adopting you you’re my boyfriend now”

((You, with one (1) brain cell: What ship is this au????

Me, an intellectual: All of them))

- One day Logan picks Virgil up afterwards because they planned to stay the night, and came face-to-face with Remy

+ Logan was completely baffled because they seemed so close but Virgil never mentioned him before?

+ He played nice but when they were alone, he was actually quite upset when he asked Virgil why he never told Logan about him before, and Virgil just shrugged and muttered “didn’t think he’d stick around long enough for there to be a point”

+ So of course that Will Not Stand™ and Logan invited Remy to go out with he, Virgil, and Patton at some point and Remy dragged Roman along

+ Logan took Remy and Roman aside at one point while Patton distracted Virgil with an arcade game and said under no certain terms that if they even made Virgil kinda frown one (1) single time they would d i e

+ Remy’s not phased and Roman pretends not to be, but the two R boyos leave a few hours later and Roman turns to him and goes “I almost pissed myself”

Okay lol that’s what I got rn but tALK TO ME ABOUT THIS AU I suddenly love it with all my heart lmao

Also a big thx to Jude bc seriously they should be respected and looked up to and loved Ily thanks for existing

[writing-freestyle]

model!irene

i haven’t updated in so long, i’m so sorry!

when she first became a model, people were like… that face can't be real. it's photoshop or smth, it's so perfect

BUT NOPE

irene is literally just that beautiful

models for cosmetics, not really clothes too much

but when she does model for clothing lines, whatever she wore sold out in under five minutes

no one believes she’s a day over 20 when they first see her, they're always like…. ur either drinking straight outta the fountain of youth or ur really just that young

but they stop saying that when they see her with newbie model!yeri, because….. she's a whole mom

babies the hell outta yeri, and even though yeri is like… irene, pls…. i’m an adult

she still eats the crust-free, dinosaur shaped sandwhiches irene brings her with the biggest smile on her face

and that smile is the reason irene babies her so much

irene lives to make other people happy, and it's this trait that makes you fall super hard for her

ur an employ at the company irene is signed with, and it's not like ur in her immediate team or anything like that

u just recieve requests from people that want to work with the agency’s models, and it's ur job to sort out the request and either assign them a model if they haven't specified, or make sure the requests reach the desk of the specific model’s team

and it's a really good job! u like it, especially since an organized environment is what you love most in the world, and that's basically what ur doing for a living

but sometimes it gets stressful

bc the agency is so huge, it requires everyone to be on their a game at all times, and since it's basically just you doing the sorting, it can be…. overwhelming

and especially in the few months or so before spring is when it gets real hectic

because everyone wants models for photoshoots with blooming flowers and falling cherry blossoms

which you’ve handled before, it should be no big deal, and this year should be no different

but for some reason

when you go to work one day

you just….. can't

it's not like you sit at your desk and do nothing, but it's more like you're trying to do things, but keep making mistakes you’ve never made before

when it's an hour before your lunch break, you send out two stacks of requests, one for irene’s team, and one for seulgi’s team, because those two usually are more opinionated on which jobs they take on, and they'll probably need more time than yeri, joy, and wendy combined to decide

and ur like ‘cool, the requests are on their way, i need to stop stressing and chill a little, i got this.’

but right as you say this, an intern walks into ur office and looks kinda…. concerned?

and u know it's the intern from seulgi’s team, so ur like…. what happened with the requests, is something wrong?

and the intern kinda mumbles at first cause they don't want you to be upset, but eventually you make out that they're trying to tell you that…. irene and seulgi’s request still haven't been recieved

wat

“what do you mean they weren't recieved?”

“like… we got the message that we’d be recieving them today at 11:00 am, but….. we never got it.”

and you just snap because

oh my god

this is a major mistake, and you're going to be the one to take the blame

you tell the intern that you're going to fix it, and to go tell both seulgi’s and irene’s teams that it’ll be there soon

they nod and leave, and you begin to scavenge through all the scrunched up and tossed away notes to try and decipher which brand wanted who and what day and time and the benefits they offer with each job

and it's literal hell, because all your notes are so vague, because you immediately wrote them down on the official request forms for irene and seulgi so you wouldn't have to rewrite it later and waste time

without even realizing, lunch is long gone and it's nearing time for you to get off work

but there are at least ¼ of the requests missing from each girls’ pile and you're full on sobbing bc….. this sucks

and you're so stressed that you don't even realize someone entered your office until they timidly knock on the surface of your desk

you're somewhere between shocked and scared when you see it's irene, because a) you didn't even know she knew where your office was? and b) was she there to yell at you or fire you? because you will cry even harder if that's the case

but nah

before you can do anything, irene sets down a plastic container on your desk and pulls out a fork and a bottle of water from her purse and puts those in front of you as well

and that's when she really gets on ur fucking uwus, because she opens the container to reveal some crust-less, dinosaur shaped sandwiches with a fruit cup in the shape of stars on the side

“you didn't come out of your office all day, and the delivery guy didn't have your usual order when he stopped by the office earlier, so i….”

she kinda motions to the food, and looks down sheepishly, and ur all sorts of “wat” on the inside bc????

is irene a literal angel? probably

you thank her profusely and tell her she didn't have to do this, but she just gives you the softest smile and goes:

“i heard about what happened today. it's not your fault, but you're probably kicking yourself like it is. i just wanted to make sure you're not beating yourself up over this, because it makes me sad when you're stressed like that.”

irene has to leave shortly after that because she has a night shoot for this brand that came out with a new line of evening gown’s and irene was begged to model for it

but she makes sure to leave her number on your desk and tells you to text her if you're ever stressed and need someone to talk to

or if you wanna go on a taco date with her, but she says that part in her head bc she's like…. it's too soon for me to be this forward with them

sure enough, you do text irene a few days later, but it's not cause you're stressed

you actually ask her out to dinner to repay her for her kindness earlier

irene, in a meeting with her team, recieving ur text asking her out on saturday

manager: “what about this quick photoshoot for armani on saturday bc they're a top brand, and we really shouldn't say no to that??”

irene, feeling her heart ready to burst out of her chest: “no, i’m going to be living my dreams on saturday, k, bye :)”

you let irene pick the restaurant, and you thought it was gonna be fancy and expensive, bc, hello, super famous model??

but instead she goes “i know this taco truck”

if you weren't already in love with her at that point, YOU SURE AS HELL ARE NOW

so, you guys are sitting on this park bench at 11 pm

with four plates of tacos between the two of you

and you guys are telling stories and cracking jokes, and it’s honestly the best date either of you have ever been on

and at the end, irene just kinda lays her head on your shoulder and sighs so happily

“thank you for this, it’s been awhile since i’ve had this much fun.”

“maybe we could do this again sometime, then?”

irene suddenly snaps her head up to look at you with wide eyes, and is like “SERIOUSLY? OMG, CAUSE I HAD SUCH A GREAT TIME BUT I DIDN’T KNOW IF YOU HAD FUN TOO!”

“irene.... ur literally the human embodiment of happiness, i can’t be anything but in a good mood when i’m around u.”

something in irene just melts, and she’s like so happy that she pulls you in this giant hug and just starts to ramble about how happy she is and

and then she’s just like “i’m so happy you had fun, because i really like you, like a lot, and i would’ve been real sad if you didn’t have fun”

you just giggle and go “i like you too, okay? you can stop being so nervous now.”

and she relaxes and smiles, grabs your hand, entwine it with hers, and the two of you continue to talk and get to know each other even more

and that’s how you two start dating

y’all are the mom couple, y’all already knew this was coming

cutting fun shapes into yeri’s food so she thinks it's more exciting to ear her fruits and vegetables? check.

making sure joy doesn't break that vvv expensive vase while y’all are visiting locations for potential photoshoot’s? check.

helping wendy translate her thoughts properly when she’s too flustered to do so? check.

putting bandaids onto seulgi’s scrapes when she attempts to do some sport and takes it a little too seriously? check.

you two are just the resident angels, and everyone looks up to you two?? aspiring to be as great as you and irene are?

you two are really making the world a better place, bless

and you two take really good care of each other too! always making sure the other is eating properly and if the other is stressed that they have a shoulder to cry on or a person to love them unconditionally

it's gr8, and the rv members are so happy that irene has found someone with just as much love in their heart as she does, and isn't afraid to tell irene she's the love of their life every day

concept: irene has now taken a habit to eating lunch in your office. occasionally, the other rv members join too, but irene comes every day at noon with two sets of food and the biggest smile on her face. she always says that you're the best part about coming to work now.

[staysuki]

i agree with 🍕 the hwang siblings were the mvp of s1 ,, annddd now knowing that s2 seemed to be more focused on readerxjeongin ,, that got me so intrigued! maybe ill start reading it later if i have the time xd honest confession: remember when you made a poll for s2? yeah i voted seungmin without knowing shit abt it just bc hes my bias 😭

i would actly love a spin-off dedicated to hyunjin! ive read a lot of stories with a similar situation like this so yes there would be 2 y/ns XD piece of advice tho, maybe give CTWJEY y/n a fixed name so it wouldnt be confusing or smth like that and of course explain it beforehand.

oh yeah since were talking abt feedbacks now, ill add that ‘out of my league’ WASSSS MY FAVOURITE OF YOURSSSSS idk why but it made me flustered like 😀👍😀👍😀👍😀👍

at first i was idek irritated (???) “reader ur bobo a bit why naman ganon” LIKE RLY THO i cant remember exactly but when i read what happened in their high school, i was disappointed like for reals. but her character development, how she tried to be better and how she changed her mistakes, i really loved that. the story was so realistic and maybe i was able to relate with jisung in the story abt how he was a bystander to all the bullying that took place. it was a fantastic story! 10002039291939 / 10 btch seungmin was kinda a dick tho by how confusing he was hed be like interested in one second then hate you with all his guts the next, i was confused tha whole fkn time i didnt know if itd end with them being together or not 😠

other than that, seungmin was so full of charms like wtf ☹️ ALL HIS SCENES GOT ME FLUSTERED ESPECIALLY THE TIME WHERE HE DRAGGED READER OUT OF THE CLUB ?:)₱:&;)/??₱?! i wasnt even there physically but i felt the sexual tension so much xd bruh all their scenes r so cute nani

oke bet ill do the s2 review longer than all my school essays put together 😌👌 that minho boobed themed fic idea got me interested 🤔🤔🤔 AND WHY DOES YOUR SCHOOL LIFE SOUND LIKE WHAT A MAIN CHARACTER WOULD HAVE 😭😭😭 i think ure life is a literal story and me and pizza r ur sidekicks 💀 our purpose is to spread penisilism to the whole world 🙇‍♂️🙇‍♂️🙇‍♂️

“ALSO DW, i like long 🥺👉👈 (all kinds of)”

👁🩸👄💧👁 but same

if ure classy then im the most behaved person in the world 😛

🍕and ash,,, thanks for the knife tho UwU its for stabbing my chocolate into bits 😋😋😋

qaqu ang haba talaga , my keyboard is lagging.

- bs

MVP OF SEASON 1 💀 yeah they really are, I love their relevance to the plot as pot-stirrers. Literally just leaving a trail of drama in their step. AND THE POLL PLS JSHJWSHWJS dw about that, hyunjin still won by a long mile. And take your time! I also prefer reading fics once they're finished so I get that 🙈, sometimes I can't control myself though. Seungmin is my bias too ackszxhually hehe (i hope you read my future Seungmin fics as well!!!)

WAIT THE 2 Y/Ns thing is real? Hmmmm intriguingggg (also not you getting the acronym wrong jkjk). S1 and S2 y/n will be called "jeongin's gf" or smth SHAJSHAJA. or maybe just straight up "CTWJEA y/n" or smth more straightforward such as "y/n no.1". Though a spin-off might not happen since I'm already having bonus episodes dedicated to them hehe 😈😈😈😈 (and also i don't think i can top y/n's personality in this fic. anyone else i add would just pale in comparison). But i do have a hyunjin smau in the works as well 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

ALSO OMG. OUT OF MY LEAGUE 😭 that gave me goosebumps fr. Looking back on it, I still hate it so much but I think I have a soft spot for it now. Given that it's my first completed written series here so it made sense that I didn't know what I was doing (not only am I new to tumblr, I'm also kinda new to writing k-fanfics so). But l think I realize now that series' aren't my strongest suit (unless I really take my time on it and like, update once a month or smth)— I'm really more of a one-shot/two-shot or SMAU kinda gal. I just wanted to try an e2l and seungmin is so fine 🥵🥵🥵🥵 that I was like aight bet. I also wanted a spunky reader character so I went with that trope. In the first few chapters, I always put in the pairing that even though reader is a popular girl, she isn't a mean girl but then when I took a break, I realized that I had nowhere to bring the fic to— like, where's the substance in this 😀, so I added the backstory for some spice and just went all out. Ngl, I didn't know how to justify the whole redemption arc so I'm glad that people still ended up liking it even though I was this close 🤏 to just deleting it and pretending it never existed. Reading this ask made me read back into that series and I feel like if I were to make that fic rn.... well I still wouldn't know what to do with it but I feel like it'd be a bit better at least. I really was overly ambitious with that one 😩

AND YES THE SEGGSUAL TENSION 😩, ngl I was gonna go for the smutty route supposedly but like, ion wanna write stuff like that since I'm not good at it and also because I want all ages of readers to be able to enjoy my fics. Unless requested, I might actually not write smut anymore (maybe something like BC's fic where there's a smËggž scene but it wasn't the central theme yk). But yeah, snarky seungmin is my fave character trope alongside tsundere minho and dramawhore hyunjin (though i am working on other fics that deviate from these stereotypes 💓). And yes, BFF Jisung was also MVP in that fic 🥺💔.

Can't wait for the review bestea ❤️ I'm expecting a rotten tomate score JKJK. And the boob theme pls—

AND NO, i'm far from a main character, if anything, i'm the third wheel BFF to you and 🍕anon's movie or smth 😩, but I'm the fave character obvi jkjk. And yes penisilism shall take over the word.

THE BOLD QUOTE PLS ang kalat q pucha KJSWJSHAJAHHASHS aykennat 💀💀💀💀 but i stand by that sentence ❤️

[szopenhauer]

What is the reason you last got a new cell phone? because I needed phone with internet connection 

Are you more masculine or feminine? dunno, smth in between?

Which name have you kissed the most people with? I only kissed one person in my entire life

Do you enjoy All You Can Eat buffets? yes

Have you ever seen the band/artist you’re listening to live? I didn’t attend any Momomoyouth concerts

Last thing you printed off a computer? short story that I’ve written

Last thing you threw in the garbage? not sure what was last

Last black person you hugged? I saw few black people but never even had a chance to talk to them

Is life hard? for me it is, I know some people have it worse but still

Who does the song you’re listening to remind you of? nothing, I just enjoy it

Have you ever had anything pierced that isn’t anymore? never had anything pierced ever

Would you consider yourself “tough”? it’s complicated 

Headphones or earbuds? headphones

Do you support freedom of speech? I think some stuff should be censored like bullying

Are you ever told you are too opinionated? maybe 

Do you hold grudges for long? sometimes

What’s in your garden/backyard? you mean plants or other stuff like furniture or decor?

Do you own a purple pillow? nope

Do you have a brown blanket? nah

Do you think diamonds, stars or hearts are prettier? stars

Have you ever overflown a bath? noooo

Do you appreciate brutal honesty? not brutal but I appreciate honesty in general most of the time

When was the last time you ate meat? yesterday

Have your parents met your gf/exes? they met my current gf and my ex S.

How about your gf’s parents? Met them? I met my current gf’s parents 

Do you feel uncomfortable easily? kinda

Do you know how to say I love you in at least 4 languages? yup

What age will you be when you times your current age by two? 56

Do you find the sound of a cats purr relaxing? hmm...

Are you in a simple or complex mood? complex

Do you know your Mum’s first pets name? I need to ask my mom’s guinea pigs’ name :o

*she doesn’t remember

Do you like car racing? playing car racing games, don’t like to brag but I’m very good at it actually 

What is your closest uncle/aunt called? to me it’s my aunt Alicja (Alice)

Do you wear underwear to bed? when I have my period to have extra protection

Do you get angry, depressed or nervous more? all at once

What is something obvious about you that everyone notices? that I’m short 

Would you ever get a heart tattoo or your back? what for?

Do you like Sapphires? I don’t

What about you do you think your friends dislike? ask them

Would you allow your children to date prior to 16? (assuming you want any) I don’t want any and would allow but no sex! at least use protection or birth control

What’s something about adult life you were never warned of or prepared for? amount of illnesses for example

How often do you wash your car? I don’t have a car

Which app on your phone do you tend to get the most notifications from? fb messanger

Do you find it easy to put yourself in somebody else’s shoes? I believe

Have you ever kissed a smoker? I have not

If you won the lottery, do you think any of your family members would ask you to give them some of your money? my parents wouldn’t have to ask :)

What is the craziest thing you’ve seen happen at your workplace? crazy is that one of the coworkers actually disappeared - he left his stuff and didn’t took the money for the job - he was never found 

Have you ever disliked a book so much that you didn’t finish it? many times

Do you think tomorrow will be a better day than today? hope so

A word that describes you, starting with the last letter of your last name?: asexual

What is the age difference between the last two people you kissed romantically?: -

How many hours have you worked this month?: zero

How did you or whoever come up with the name(s) for your pet(s): he was fattest among his siblings as a puppy and used to eat a lot later too, he even ate roof of his house lmfao

Last time you washed your hair?: Monday’s night

What is your weight?: about 40 kg, I didn’t check recently

Last article of clothing you purchased?: dad bought a hoode NOT INTERESTED for me in second hand because I cold so cold yesterday but I worry I still got a flu :(

Last electronic you purchased?: powerbank from what I remember

What is your blood type?: no idea

Who did you last walk a dog with?: my dad, we always go together for walks because it’s quite dangerous to wander alone around the forest

Ride bikes with?: same

For what reason did you last high five someone?: I virtually high fives my gf because we agreed on smth

Are you emotional? I’m more analytical/logical/overthinker but I still am very emotional Have you ever cut/burned yourself intentionally? ... Have you ever noticed the hidden adult jokes inside of kid shows/movies? in Shrek, the one about penis

Do you sin often? only God knows What do you think happens after you die? we have a funeral :P Are you afraid to die? I’m afraid of looking stupid and people laughing, being a burden, others trying to save me (or me trying to save myself of course) and failing, someone stealing my stuff while I’m unconscious, suffering for a long time, waking up in a casket, going to hell etc. If you had the chance, would you want to know the date of your death? YES Have you ever felt that you weren’t good enough? I’m not enough and yet too much if you know what I mean Are you jealous of your siblings? I am, she’s lucky, normal

Are you always wanting more? I want more than I have but not as much as people usually want - I want health and enough money to not just barely survive but I don’t dream about career, kids, big house, fame, talents, travelling, beauty, long life etc. Do you make good first impressions? pfft Do you consider yourself guarded?  it seems Do you like animals? majority but still wouldn’t want to own them 

Do you think doctors prescribe medicine too often? absolutely, too many meds are causing more problems than help and the fact lots of them are sold without prescription makes me angry and sad Do you enjoy getting drunk, or do you feel like you’re losing all control? I don’t drink because I don’t like the taste/smell and the consequences - losing control is one of them but also hangover and puking for examples Do you think the internet is dangerous? almost everything can be

Who do you think has the most pressure to be good-looking; guys or girls? women are pressured more to be attractive Do you care what impression you make on people? not much Honestly, do you say racist things? nah Do your parents put way too much pressure on you? not really Do you think people overreact when their pets die? not usually

Has anyone ever told you they needed space? that’s what I say!

Do you actually think there will be a zombie apocalypse? smth similar 

Do you get offended really easily? I’m pretty sensitive

Have you ever punched a wall out of complete anger? not wall, furniture

Ever been turned down in a really mean way? in my opinion that was hurtful

Are you ticklish? I am and hate that about me

Do you currently have a pair of UGG boots? I use them as slippers during winter :3

When was the last time you had a stomach ache? morning

Have you ever been to a circus? at least once <3

Does drama seem to follow you everywhere you go? I live in a drama movie Do you ever regret giving your number to people? regretted Have you ever been told that you’re afraid of your own shadow? fuck you! Have you ever tried Gouda cheese? obvi Do you still watch South Park? I never did You’re babysitting, what do you expect per hour for pay? been doing it for free :( What’s the last thing you returned at a store? tried to return computer and even tho it was on guarantee they didn’t fix it, it didn’t work from the start and it’s only getting worse >.< Do you still look at clouds and make shapes of them? it’s so much fun! :D If you had to dye your hair for one year, what color would you pick? green What’s your television addiction? non existent Have you ever had any painful dental work done? If so, what? 4 hours of root canal without anesthesia Do you make your own jewelry or clothing? tried but I’m bad at it Do you use drawing to describe what you’re feeling? preffered collages  Do you give everything you do 100%? I half ass majority of the things I do

If you could transform into any kind of animal, what animal would you be? raccoon? XD  actually a bird I guess One place you would never want to get lost in in the dark? somewhere I could fall down like from the roof or into a deep hole and where are sharp objects etc. Are you claustrophobic? just my head is, I’m scared to be stuck in smth with my head, I know it’s strange If you could be reincarnated, would you come back as another human or an animal? If an animal, what kind? I just want a good life... but never come back would be a better option - no more death  Easiest way to scare you? jump scares What was your last nightmare about? personal

Do you own any knee-high boots? no longer Have you ever kissed a dog on the mouth? disgusting!

How many squares of toilet paper do you use at a time? 2-3 Have you ever had acupuncture done to you? heard you can get ill outta that Do you play hopscotch? played a bit as a child Are you jealous of beautiful people? rarely  Are you foolish and naive? I try my best not to be yet end up being fooled at times anyway Do you play with the food on your plate? my mom does and that annoys me When you were born was the umbilical cord wrapped around your neck? luckily not Have you ever taken a mud bath? no thx Do you have nude photos of yourself posted on the internet? I didn’t even really took any to begin with Are you considered “normal”?

Do you want to skydive? nah Have you ever been told that you talk too much? and not enough, you can’t please anyone

What’s the latest youtube channel you’ve discovered and binge-watched?   https://www.youtube.com/c/naomijon/videos

Do you think your hair looks better long or short? it’s ugly 

Do you look best with or without bangs?   I prefer no bangs

Do you enjoy editing photos on your phone? I like filters sometimes but not editing

Which season do you wish would last longer?   summer

Haw many outdoor birthday parties have you had?   none, sadly, my birthday is during winter so I can’t 

How much taller or shorter are you than your mom?   like 10 cm taller even tho I’m so tiny

Do you have neat handwriting? r u kidding?...

Would you rather hike a mountain or dive into the sea?   hike

Which Barbie doll was your favorite? that one I slept with and broke her neck but I loved my Ken as much (and broke his legs but my dad fixed him) - that’s unusual as those are the only toys I actually ever broke (not counting my fav stuffed animal that lost it’s head but my mom sewed it back) and not because I didn’t care for them like some kids but because I loved them 

Do you prefer cheetah or zebra print, polka dots, paisleys, plaid, stripes or stars? animal prints are ok at times, paisley and some kinds of plaid too but I love stripes and stars and hate polka dots 

Do you like your natural hair color? whatever

Did you dream of becoming famous as a kid?   later in life I wanted to become an actress 

Have you ever been to a gynecologist? several times and I regret that

Do you use the Bitmoji app on your phone? used to

Do you get on facebook every day? yep

Would you ever consider naming a child after a family member?   not that I want to have kids but yes

List three names that sound similar to your name.   apparently Zosia is similar to Zuzia but also Anna as it’s part of Zuzanna

What were you almost named?   Lilia (Lily)

What does your name mean? same hahaha

Do you have any symptoms of COVID-19 right now? luckily not

Have you made your own mask to help prevent the spread of the virus?   my mom is making those

Do you ever wish you had someone to hug?   I have someone to hug

[prinxiety-logicalitysanderssides]

1-97 NOW ITS UR TURN I DONT EVEN CARE THAT THIS IS MY MAIN U GOTTA SUFFER TOO

I. BLOODY. DID. IT. ITS TAKEN ME /TWO DAYS/ BUT I’VE DONE IT @princeyandanxiety and I’m tagging @use-it-ironically Ironi u do it too pls. I was subjected to this after I subjected Bella to this so now u have to.

Btw this is NSFW ( some of it) and mentions suicide/depression cause I went there. There is some serious truth tea in this god damnit. I put thought and love into this. And also memes but mostly LOVE and boredom. I also feel like I forgot to answer a question or two but whatever. This is 97 questions long. And it’s 2818 words.

By the end of this, you will understand that I am a wreck

Ask me things1. What’s your middle name? No.

2. What are you listening to right now? The sound of typing cause I’m not listening to music. Also the sound of my breath and the wind in the trees. V/ relaxing. (( that was yesterday, today I’m listening to MCR and sanders Sides videos at a loud volume on chromecast on my tv))

3. What was the last thing you ate? ¼ of a cup of icing sugar. I ate it out of the measuring cup lmao.

4. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? My mum. I do talk to other people, I swear! I’m just not good at phone calls

5. Do you drink? No and I won’t in the future. Lemonade all the way if I have to drink smth.

6. Do you smoke? No and I never ever will.

7. What is the first thing you noticed in someone? Someone as in??? Random or??. In Randoms I usually notice people’s faces and then clothes, especially if they’re eye catching. I notice memorabilia/fan stuff pretty quickly as well.

8. What is your hair color? Brown but I use hair dye to make it partially blue or purple or red sometimes. It doesn’t work very well unless I bleach my hair and I can’t do that till I’m 16 which sucks. I use hair spray every now and again, I have white hair spray and glitter hair spray, and I used to have blue as well. Glitters my favourite . I also have a full rainbow of hair chalk but my friends and I dropped it at one point during the Hair Incident of Grade Eight which is what I’m calling it now.

9. What is your eye color? Blue/Grey ish. 10. Do you wear contacts/glasses? Nope. My mum says I will if I keep looking at my screen for hours on end though. I don’t want glasses cause my 20/20 vision is serving me well and I like it.

11. Dogs or cats? Rabbits.

12. What’s your favorite animal? Rabbits/see above

13. What’s your favorite television show? Gilmore girls. Hands down the best.

14. What’s your favorite movie? I don’t really have one? Princess Bride, Sound of Music and the Captain America movies. Oh and Heathers.

15. What’s your favorite band/singer? I can’t choose but Alessia Cara comes to mind? Scars to your Beautiful? And MCR. And Panic! At the Disco and Fall Out Boy. I’m an emo nightmare tbh

16. How old are you? Bich no u can guess. I’m a minor tho.

17. Do you have a crush on anyone? No. But I want a girlfriend/datemate ( all the boys my age are awful and the girls/nonbinary people r better)

18. What’s your sexual orientation? Pansexual. To keep it simple anyway.

19. What’s your favorite color? Aqua blue/ the green of Australian forests

20. What was your most embarrassing moment? Going up on stage in like,, grade six, for a talent show, that I decided to volunteer for THAT DAY and literally singing which is fine but I kept shuffling not dancing and the other kid I was doing it with was kinda dancing and we fucking sucked. But I’m at a different school half the city away now thank god.

21. Do you ever wish you were someone else? Characters in stories, yeah, but like, I want to be in their universe, with their mind and my mind combined so I’m more them than me but I also remember that I want to give people a piece of my mind and fix the universe and make everyone happy but also have angst before that. I project a lot tbh. Oh well.

22. What were you like when you were a kid? I ran away from the class a lot, a ‘difficult’ and 'problem’ child. I have ADHD.

23. What would your dream house be like? Huge, I would want to have lots of pets and secret rooms and a big library and have it surrounded by country side and let scouts have camps near by and stuff

24. What last made you laugh? There were a few things but I forgot damn. But probably my bunnies antics I swear they r ridiculous sometimes( all the time) (( that was yesterday, today its sanders Sides videos again whoops))

25. What is your favorite word ? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) its called a Lenny and I love it

26. What is your least favorite word? Poo. Or moist. Both are awful.

27. What turns you on? Coffee when I wake up

28. What turns you off? Sleeping pills

29. What is your star sign? Aquarius

30. What are your favorite books? TAMORA PIERCE’S 'The circle of Magic ’ quartet and all of its sequels and Tamora Pierces 'The Lionness’ quartet and her 'Protector of the small’ quartet, really, all of her books. Also the Obernewtyn series which is FUCKING AMAZING. ITS BY AN AUSSIE AUTHOR, ISOBELLE CARMODY WHO IVE MEET TWICE AND THEY R SMAZINGSOWNFKEFKWJCKD YES.

31. Do you have any siblings? Only child, suck it.

32. Do you like to dance?Yes, but I’m not a professional or up to date with the latest ~moves~

33. What is your definition of cheating? This is hard cause my definition is in my head but it’s hard to explain. I’m gonna try though.( ACTUALLY I’m gonna come back and write this later) (( lmao I never did go back and write this but it basically depends on what people in a relationship have agreed it to mean bc I’m tired and this is complicated))

34. Have you ever cheated on someone? No I’ve never dated anyone.

35. Do you regret anything? A few things. Not gonna get into them tho. I do regret not working harder in grade seven and eight.

36. Do you have any phobias? Not really no. I hate leeches with a fiery passion and there are spiders next to my shower which I don’t like but other than that, no.

37. Ever broken any bones? No and I’d like to understand what it feels like tbh

38. Ever come close to death? When I walk anywhere cause I’m yes. Does being suicidal back when I was eleven count? And the fact it recurs every now and again? Also

39. What is your religion, if any? I piece together my own world view, based on many philosophies and science.

40. Have you ever been to a psychiatrist/therapist? I’m going to one rn actually. School counsellor who is great and has lollipops and also let my friends and I play monopoly in her office all lunch. I lost. The bell was about to go so I just flipped the board upside down cause why not? My friends made me clean it up lmao 41. Are looks important in a relationship? Depends

42. Are you more like your mom or your dad? I pray I’m more like my mum as my dad is an awful person tbh

43. What is your favorite season? Whichever one I’m not sneezing in/ when it’s warm/ I don’t really have one

44. Do you have any tattoos? No 45. Do you have any piercings? I did have normal ear piercings but they grew over

46. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? None

47. Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character? Have you met me

48. Who is your celebrity crush? Thomas Sanders

49. Are you a virgin? Again, have you meet me. YES. Obviously.

50. Do you get jealous easily? Define 'jealous’. I mean, kind of. Not usually.

51. What is your favorite type of food? Pasta.

52. Do you ever want to get married?Depends, I mean, LGBT marriage isn’t legal in Australia for whatever fucking stupid reason ( the reason is homophobic pollies, literally 90% of Australia wants fucking gay marriage goddamnit)

53. Who was your first kiss with? Lmao I haven’t had one

54. Have you ever been cheated on? See above

55. What is your idea of the perfect date? ?'not sure tbh?

56. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Extroverted introvert. I like meeting people and i have lots of friends but I also need my space. I’m an introvert.

57. Do you believe in aliens or life on other planets? After seeing the 'thingu’ video, I hope not. I do believe in other life but not as sentient as us? Well, at least I don’t think we will find any sentient aliens now that we elected trump tbh

58. What talent do you wish you’d been born with?Be a great dancer?

59. What is your saddest memory? Not today Satan

60. Do you believe in love at first sight? I believe you can find someone aesthetically pleasing at first sight, at first talk, you can like them for their personality. So kind of? But not really. Movie love sucks tho. Unrealistic.

61. Do you believe in soul mates? Kind of. I wish we had a soulmate au irl

62. Have you ever dyed your hair? See above ( yes)

63. Has someone ever spread a nasty rumor about you?I don’t really look at gossip so??? No? They could be talking about me all the time lmao I got bullied from 11-13 years old but that’s different and now I can’t be fucking bothered to listen to bullies

64. Would you go against your moral code for money?Depending on the circumstances. I’m not evil. Very rarely would I ever do that and I have never actually done that.

65. What are three things most people don’t know about you? . My teachers think I have asbergers(autism) and I agree but my parents don’t . NSFW as hell?? I mean most people would look at my chumb face and think I’m innocent i would guess. . I want a datemate? Like I haven’t really acknowledged that but like every opnow and again this Year and

66. Who are you jealous of? People who get more likes than me

67. Do you sleep with a stuffed toy?Yes, but only if my bed is clean IE It has been washed within the last week. Sometimes I don’t wash my sheets for a month and i don’t want to subject my Rabbit toy to that. She’s thirty-nine years old.

68. How long was your longest relationship? No

69. Is the glass half empty or half full?Half empty, I drank half the water.

70. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you? Nsfw fanfiction for sanders sides. Nah, I don’t really know as I’m still in high school I’m in Grade Nine . So like? How would I know? (But seriously pls write more nsfw)

71. Who is your most loyal friend? My best friend Addy? ( she was the one we tried to comb her hair) or you people

72. Are you in a relationship? Ok this is getting annoying

73. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? Come ON.

74. Are you a bad person? Depends. Is the scale puppies to trump or a grumpy cat to trump. Cause I’m in the low-middle of the first scale and at the bottom of the second.

75. Are you a lover or a fighter? I wanna fite but I don’t bite and I’m usually just high as a kite.

76. What did you do on your last birthday? Like… nothing. Mum and I have to save money for scout camps ( there’s a big Venture I’m going on at the start of next year, AV2018) and I couldn’t be bothered to have a birthday party when I would have to have one just before or after term starts, my birthday is the 24th of Jan. Usually I have my party like a week after school starts again but I couldn’t be bothered.

77. What is your favorite quote and why? “I’m sceptical that you could, yet intrigued that you may” I got it off a screenshot on tumblr ALSO “What are you looking at?” “ Something Replusive” “I’m not a mirror Karen” from the fanfiction Iris Zero, my fav Hetalia fan fic about Romerica. Also “I’m hella pan with a hella plan” off tumblr.

78. If your best friend died, what would you do? I would be a fucking wreck and I’m not gonna think about it.

79. If you had to go back in time and change one thing, what would it be? If i went back and time and changed smth, i wouldn’t be me anymore, but I would go back and get a proper depression diagnosis bc we knew I had it but I’m a good actor so the doctors couldn’t diagnose the kid who was fucking suicidal great job Australia ANYWAY

80. If you only had 24 hours to live, what would you do? My mum texted me this morning ( btw I did this ask over a couple days) with 'If you die today would you like the last thing you spent your precious life hours on to be tumblr??’ I responded with 'yes’ to be a bitch and also bc I kinda would? I would get all my friends and all of the food I wanted, write my will, etc. I’d go fucking ridiculous with what I’d do tbh. All the adventurous activities .

81. What is the strangest dream you’ve ever had? One time when I was 11, I had a dream I was a princess with a guy servant and a girl lady in waiting/servant and we were all bffs, ( looking normal so far lmao), and then we were getting chased around my kingdom by a guy with a floppy dick which was flopping around like a bendy/wobble pencil. Both friends sacrificed themselves to stop him and made me keep running away lol

82. Are you happier single or in a relationship? I don’t know

83. Who were you in a past life? The human embodiment of Anxiety Sanders

84. What is your happiest childhood memory?Lazy sunny days with my mum. Chores and relaxing. Cooking.

85. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? Not,,,, really,, see above, I,, haven’t really had any experience with love

86. Have you ever had an imaginary friend? I don’t think so?

87. If you were the prime minister , what would you do? Fucking Marriage Equality, Safe schools is mandatory, sexual assault/homelessness/youth in crisis support is fucking fixed and improved, Scouts is connected to schools, primary school system revised, improved and fixed, high school system improved, counselling is better overall, science in all grades, maths teaching is improved over all, teachers can get constructive criticism from students and will LISTEN to them. Abuse is redefined as both emotional and psychical and people start to understand that, neurodivergents are fucking accommodated more, same for disabled people. Mental illness are listened to for fucks sake.

88. What is your ideal career? Engineer, scientist, musician, YouTuber, anything that makes me happy and makes people happy and supports people. I also want money tbh so A) i can donate to charity B) i want to transition and all I fucking love memey products.

89. What is your political affiliation?/90. Are you conservative or liberal? Liberal. When I vote, I will weight my options and choose which ever is the least awful tbh. I’m an intersectional feminist meaning I support poc, the wider LGBT+ community, feminism, people with mental illness, neurodivergents and disabled people.

91. Is the male or female body closest to perfection?Male doesn’t get periods so u decide

92. Do you like kissing in public? I’ve seen people kiss in public ONCE in my life so like?? Do what you want

93. If you could change one thing in the world, what would you change? Unlike my prime minister answer, I’m thinking smaller here : everyone is allowed to transition/get married/ all LGBTAI+ rights are legalised

94. Where would you like to live? Huge house full of secret tunnels and it’s all waterproof and I keep rescue pets and secretly help refugees there so they can get a normal life again. There would be huge libraries. In the countryside as well. Tazmania probably. Or Melbourne in a nice house with my rabbits and datemate/s

95. Where would you go on your dream vacation?I’d want to go on a world tour and meet all my mutuals and the people I am fans of.

96. Describe yourself in one word.Chaotic ( good lmao)(( jk every time i take that chaotic/neutral/lawful quiz I get lawful good but lawful good is was I aspire to be and chaotic good is what I am. ))

97. Describe yourself in one sentenceVery. Fucking. Complicated. Wreck. Who Loves All My Mutuals and Friends So Much.

[mydumbgaydavekatblog]

Warning this is kinda sad and also has major like...guts and organ stuff in it and near death shit so this is your warning uh

Ok au where smth bad happens 2 the boys. Like Karkat is driving home from work late and he likes to take the windy back roads on the cliffs and shit to avoid the crazies on the highway. It's not that late, like 9:30-10ish at night. He's going a decent speed, maybe speeding a little, but then another driver, a drunk driver, comes around the corner doing like 90 as compared to Karkat's 55 in a 40 zone. The other driver whips the car around too fast, and ends up going out of his lane and into Karkat's, hitting him and absolutely fucking totaling his car. This dude hit Karkat so fast that Karkat's car flipped and fell over the side of the cliff, landing on and destroying some trees before landing on the pavement of the street below. His car has an automatic setting where it calls 911 when he gets in an accident. The other guy was pretty ok. Broke his foot and his wrist, but he's alright. He crashed into the side of the cliff. The guard rail is fucking destroyed from Karkat's car. Emergency services get there and find that some branches had gone through the windshield and impaled Karkat in a few places. He's attached to the seat, and either way, they have to rip the car apart completely to get him out of it. They rush him to the hospital, check his wallet for identification, and call the first person on his emergency contact list; Dave. He's in a meeting when he gets the call. A late night meeting with his team at work, and he doesn't recognize the number, but he feels that something is wrong, so he takes the call. He returns to the conference room and tells them there's been an emergency and he has to go immediately. He doesn't even take his stuff or wait for an answer, he just fucking sprints. He bursts into the ER, and frantically asks the lady at the front desk about a car accident victim, Karkat Vantas. Where is he? Please I need to see him! Karkat is being tended to in the ER by a group of medics. He's losing a lot of blood, they got him out of the chair and onto a gurney, they're trying to stabilize him, they're getting as much O-negative blood as they can get their hands on for him. Dave sees him and nearly passes out. He overpowers the nurses that try to stop him, and he goes for Karkat, unconscious and unresponsive, with bits of fucking wood sticking out of his body. Karkat flatlines again, and Dave grabs his hand, he's speaking, in hysterics, then doctors are frantically trying to assist Karkat. The doctors have to open up his chest, dave is pushed out of the way for the doctors. He steps back to let them work, but he's looking on in horror. They put a rib separator in between his ribs on one side, and a doc reaches in and manually pumps his heart. It takes five minutes, but they get his heart going again, but they have to shock him to regulate its beat. They quickly pull the metal thing out of him and shock him. For a moment, he's stabilized. They then hit him with an IV of blood, they intubate him (putting the IV in a major blood vessel of the neck rather than the wrist or arm) and squeeze the bag to push the blood into him faster. They get him on fluids. Morphine. They start to send him off to surgery, and stop to give dave a moment to say anything he needed to say in the case that Karkat died. Dave brushes his hair out of his face, kisses his forehead, squeezes his hand, tells him that he loves him more than anything, tells him to come home, to hold on, tells him to be okay. They rush him off to surgery after that, and open him up. He has a punctured lung, his uterus and kidney were damaged beyond repair by the same branch, so they have to remove both, and in the process, the branch also nicked the major blood vessel going into his liver. Along with all the vital organ damage, he has bones broken in both feet, and both ankles are broken bc of the petals in the car, he broke his right arm, and some ribs are cracked. He also has fractures on his collarbone from the seatbelt. He's also concussed. His heart stops again on the table, and they successfully resuscitate him. They remove the damaged organs, and the wood, get him some more blood and fluids, and send him off to the ICU. He's in a coma, on life support, a respirator. He's hooked up to all these IVs and machines. He's got casts on his broken limbs. The room reeks of blood. They let dave in to see him, and they tell him before he enters the room that they don't think he'll survive the night. Dave goes in, and he sees the state Karkat is in. And he falls to fucking pieces over it. He sits there in the chair next to the bed, he holds Karkat's hand tight. "I'm here" he says "I'm right here. Please, don't leave me here. Please stay. I love you." He says it over and over again. "Don't do this to me Karkat. Please don't do this to me. You have to live." He talks to Karkat about all the things they still have to do together. Travel the world, go camping, get married. He talks about all the great memories he's had. He talks about how he fell in love with Karkat. He talks about what he loves about Karkat. He tells him he loves him. More than he'll ever understand. It's grueling, it's hard, but Karkat makes it to the next morning. But just a few hours after dave wakes up, he has an issue again. He's had the sutures fixing the major blood vessel in his liver give out, and the monitors go fucking crazy. It scares the shit out of dave. He grabs Karkat's hand, begs him not to go, not to do this. To stay. They fix the sutures in surgery, and give him another small blood transfusion. It takes a few weeks, but he starts to heal. Dave practically lives at the hospital now. Visiting hours are limited in the ICU, but he spends every second of them in the room, and every other second in the waiting room. He can hardly sleep, he barely eats, he doesn't keep up well with hygiene. Karkat's casts come off before he wakes up. He can breathe on his own now. It takes him a month after the casts come off to wake up. When he does, it's like Christmas for Dave, and all their friends. They throw a party in the hospital room. A week later, Karkat gets discharged from the hospital, but he doesn't realize the severity of his accident or his wounds until he's shown photos of his wrecked car. The other driver gets his license revoked permanently, and his incurable company pays for all of Karkat's medical bills, and the replacement of his car.

[pestopascal]

thoughts on andromeda?

Sry if you're expecting smth rly concise in regards to like overall feelings… Like I’ll talk about specific parts and all but … overall? I enjoyed Andromeda. Glaring technical issues aside… it wasn’t that horrible of a game despite what everything pre-release said (and, hey, i got it for below release price, plus a deluxe upgrade so like basically saved myself more than $100. even better).

Like, clearly though, there is a HUGE need for improvement. Another just… 6 months to work out the bugs. They sat there and went ‘this is good enough for release’ when honestly it wasn’t. It so wasn’t. Tbh this just begs the question of every company that looks at their games tho and decide on who deems it good enough lmaooooo. Reactions to the demo alone should’ve given them that idea but oh, no, they thought it was good enough and Bioware’s classic ‘we’ll just fix it later’ attitude is… honestly getting kinda grating. Like I sat through DA2 and Inquisition with this kind of attitude bioware. Come the fuck on now. 

And look, honestly, conspiracy theories aside, for a new studio group, especially since most worked on DLC alone, it wasn’t bad. Not the greatest thing I’ve ever played, and Andromeda gave me maaaaaaaad ME1/ME2 vibes — which actually caused me to go back and replay OT for like 2 weeks haha

Under the cut to keep going bc I got kinda long and complain-y lol but smth specific hmu

But like… I’m not gonna ignore that it was literally made with straight white male gamers in mind. Like this has to be one of the worst games out of Bioware that specifically had that group as a main demographic. Considering they’ve come pretty fucking far with everything else, Mass Effect as a whole has always struggled in my opinion to be Up There with everything else they’ve produced. I know it’s different teams. I know. But there still should be a standard the company sets for itself and each fucking team to achieve. How can they go from DAI (which wasn’t that awful either and was pretty forward) to this? How come all their fantasy stuff has always been SO much more ... everything compared to their future space series? There are more than enough posts and articles out there to point out why specifically, and it’s not just like now how they’ve made Sara Ryder sexy and smooth skinned and small faced and bedroom eyed. Like these issues were existing loooooooong before during initial releases. You literally do Peebee’s first time if you choose to embrace eternity with her (again with the space virgin thing!!!). Gross. 

Honestly the teammates weren’t bad either I really ended up enjoying the dynamics. At first, yeah, I turned my nose up at like Vetra and Drack just because… we’ve already had like a space vigilante turian teammate for three games, and a dad krogan for a while now, and I’m still wondering who the cut teammate was and I’m putting money on it being another fucking quarian okay just because Bioware is gonna stick to what they know as far as dynamics go. I bet it’s gonna be a dude quarian. They’re just gonna do it we know they will. Like that’ll be cool don’t get me wrong but it’s not exactly groundbreaking. We’re gonna have to pay for this person too lmaooooo fucking sink hole. 

And Jaal is a pretty decent dude (he’s actually fucking hilarious which I kinda didn’t… expect) and Liam is alright but goddamn like. I know Ryder is supposed to be sufficiently inexperienced compared to Shepard. But like NOTHING came about from nearly dying in both Liam and Peebee’s loyalty missions. A friendly bit of banter and ‘we nearly killed the human pathfinder but that’s okay we’re all bffs!!!’. Also Liam just feels like he was written by like four different people. What is consistency. Boy has some Issues. Cora grew on me heaps after her loyalty mission which I noticed happened for a lot of ppl too ig bc she finally stopped acting like she knew everything about asari lol rip. Peebee actually got tolerable and the dismissiveness will forever bug me in regards to her past relationship but idk why I even expect anything? Like this dev team thought Hainley was okay for release. Fuck. Kallo and Suvi were rly cool I rly liked them (I Trust Kallo) but Gil needs a huge fucking overhaul. Or you just need to be able to tell his bff5eva off for being such a judgy bitch tbh. 

(also makes me wonder who they’re gonna play pair the spares with but that’s another question for another time)

Some of the shit they pulled though (Sloane Kelly being one of the Biggest Fucking Concerns) isn’t even something you can just shrug over. Sure when I first played I was like yah fuq that nonsense with head on spikes. And then they give you a goddamn novel — which is UNsurprisingly fucking important to understanding wtf happened before Ryder/s arrived — to basically convince you that Sloane is probably the better choice in some respects even though honestly I feel like there was no  inherently right or wrong choice in that situation. Reyes and Sloane both had their pros and cons and it just came down to personal preference. Tacking on a romance that literally hinges on that choice was rly unfair to Sloane tho. LIKE OK it was kinda unfair to Reyes too but rly it was just sooooo rude to Sloane. You literally have to let her die to complete Reyes’ romance. Wtf. What kinda BS is that. 

And it’s ALWAYS the fucking shadowy types (who are, unsurprisingly, ALWAYS their male bisexual characters who are Always Labelled as the sleeping around kinda guys u kno) that fucking backstab. Come the fuck on bioware. You can only run this trope into the ground so many times before it just becomes offensive as a whole. And by so many times I mean like once. You did that way back before KOTOR. Enough is enough.

And then there’s the whole no m|m romance teammate. Srsly. SRSLY. ITS SPACE. 600YRS IN THE FUTURE THAT WAS ALREADY 100+ YRS IN THE FUTURE. THERES LITERALLY NO EXCUSE. I don’t give a flying fuck if you have a straight white male audience. Bioware has built itself on being some kind of fucking “””””””pioneer””””””” in the way of romance and storytelling. Like i saw smth that said Bethesda and Bioware tried to trade secrets and messed up (in relation to Fallout 4 too) and honestly that’s a rly accurate summary of what happened. and ESP when bioware was all like ‘deeper more meaningful relationships! more realism! JKS we rly don’t care and gave Peebee 3hrs of content and Liam less than 30mins. We lied. Again. We do that a lot.

TLDR;; okay. overall… I did enjoy it. I will replay and honestly I’m waiting out for lots of patch fixes before I rly settle into a second play through — and I would like Bioware to admit they fucked up big time. Not just these small apologies and “we’re getting to its” just. Admitting it. They won’t but I hope so. And like I don’t expect anything perfect as far as Andromeda develops, and honestly I’m GLAD it wasn’t like OT like I know some ppl bitching their heads off expecting Shepard 2.0 and getting Ryder … and Ryder is honestly hilarious as far as protags go but like. Needs improvement. Hopes for DLC??? Please don’t give away very valuable world building information in a dlc this time tho pls thnx

[coldstarlightsheep-blog]

I don’t want you to suffer, but I don’t want to suffer either.

I don’t want the anxiety that arises when the cellphone receives a new message.

I don’t want to think about the possible conversations, the possible polite behavior that would stimulate a celebration in an inappropriate post.

I would try to stop and listen to you, if you gave me the truth… but placing the blame on me for being ‘too jealous’ is just unfair.

But it’s okay…

I don’t what was the feeling/reason that made this guy come around… But I hope it’s still lasting.

I am not a toddler or afraid of being alone…

Been alone for a while, and it’s bad… But feeling this insecure is worse.

And just as food for thought: I was the only one to change the output of love that I offered.

From a weird guy that wanted to talk to you and know about you in Tumblr, to a cold liar dog fake person kinda thing.

And in the beginning I tried to help you even with my improper help, about your loneliness, about your self-esteem, about your anxiety, about all I could.

But time went on…

And little by little you lost the shame you had on getting naked or showing yourself to me.

Remember when you had an anxiety crisis when you thought about taking some clothes?

Time passed and I started retracting and retracting and retracting…

Galo art, ? And this cunt.

The first guy posting songs in your timeline disappeared with not a lot of problems.

I don’t remember if there was someone in the middle. There probably was a Brazilian girl that lives in Germany and your exes.

Guess that by the time this guy came around, you were already full of losing control of your life to someone else.

And the first time that you talked about what this guy was into… I remember I got stressed and asked you what did he meant.

But you guys kept talking in Instagram…

Then you got fierce, added him back on FB and told me to mind my own business.

A long while ago… You deleted the history of conversation with him because you needed space (you guys share files or smth? because text is super lightweight)

Then he kept the flow of messages and you started ignoring him, maybe… anxious to answer, anxious when I would read it.

Anxiety because you knew how that could affect me.

I’ve been feeling down with the whole thing that I got to read in Instagram. But we started getting back together, and in my own time I was starting to create roots again.

But a great day after classes exams and shit I get to read the celebration of this fucking asshole.. pretty much targeted at me, because it was not about the post and it was not about something you didn’t knew.

Teaching (maybe agreeing) with you on this pseudo freedom bullshit.

I remember checking his profile on your Instagram and he was blocked. And like (https://www.facebook.com/help/instagram/426700567389543/) I work with computers for a living and even though I’m not the brightest one sometimes… I can still know when things ain’t right.

And like you could tell me you’re sorry. That I’ve pushed you to unblock him and talk to him, you could have deleted his comment in “respect”(?)

But if you’re so certain that it ain’t worth to be an 'asshole’ to someone 'sweet’.

Then keep telling me how sick and jealous I am… And how I partially cause problems in the relationship, therefore I have to change entirely.

Therefore, you should come to talk to me if you think you’re being misjudged…

But I think you won’t. Because you ain’t used in asking for forgiveness, trying to argue that you did something wrong…

I think these are narcissistic-like characteristics and therefore

- you won’t try to approach. - you won’t be able to empathize with how lost I am. - you will think that as a human, I’m dealing with this whole thing poorly. - you will find all the right explanations to why I am so insecure, but you won’t listen to what I have to say.

If you can’t talk to me, it means that you’re just too conflicted with your own convictions. And between dropping some convictions and staying in bed feeling down with such an horrible bf, you will perform the second option and blame me for everything.

Its funny that in order for your friend to have a chance with her guy in a long distance relationship, they had to 'open’ their relationship.

When you freaked out feeling anxious because she was rubbing in your face that she was going to move out and etc…

I told you that she was not getting anything that was truly hers right?

I told you that it was not a good opportunity, that they still were too 'young’ and that only time would tell.

Now even with the open relationship, their feelings might still fade. After one of them doesn’t spend time to care for each other, because they’re too busy flirting with other people.

Can you imagine how awesomely nice it is to be working your ass off,

Waking up around 6:30 taking a cold shower in a fucking bucket,

then working/studying from 08:00 to 18:00 (sometimes even later)++, in a city with violence that has no water, where you’re robbed in your way back from university at 5pm…

while your partner is receiving the news of that special someone that has a crush on them?

- There are 3 tropical storms around here. - Ohhh you’re so lucky. - hahaha, _still_ coming to visit one day? - yeah, I would love to visit. 😁

~~~~

- I miss you, don’t count me out of your life. - I won’t. - don’t you wanna fix this communication problem? I want to talk more freely don’t you? - _I want it too_. - maybe we/you could create a new acct. Idk.

~~~~

You won’t know how it feels. Because you can’t empathize with me.

You will keep telling me that I’m the wrong one. That I’m the one with a fucked up head…

So we end up with in this shit.

If he talks to you and you’re sincere to them… He will probably keep getting in touch often. Sending random subjects to start a conversation and cheer you up.

Maybe you will just zone out for a while now and feel bad until you come back with the “new years” resolution plans.

The last thing that will happen is some action to try to fix this situation, repair my feelings.

My heart is falling apart and I feel as suicidal as always. But one thing I won’t do is to agree that I’m “too jealous”.

I guess it’s easier for me to block people when you ask that of me, because they don’t often give a fuck to me anyways…

34 weeks ago you posted a selfie of your #bangs and this guy started exposing his mind at least there 26w (6months and a half), filters from Snapchat on Instagram 25w ago.

Same fucking thing.💓

Since that time… I was doing what I could to keep things going.

I even suppressed my own self to put up with the comments that would appear in your fb. Block them, was the solution…

But it didn’t last long…

And now you don’t know what to do about it… Getting in terms with the disaster, is easier than coming around and trying to prevent anything.

Having to talk anything without sarcasm, without the intention to hurt…

And I know that it’s easier to try to be nice to those more distant from you… Instead of an asshole.

So I just let it happen.

Just don’t imagine me as a being that doesn’t feel anything…

I ain’t as talkative as in the beginning… But I feel the things just the same…

And I fell in love for some of your flaws, thinking that knowing hurt you would be okay to hangout with. I thought that being depressed, would make you feel with time more caressing of others… Since you know how pain can feel.

But this part of you, that wants to be free… pushed me away from the part that wants attention.

You said things that I have mostly forgot… But you started putting me in a place of a 'roommate’. I destroyed the morning that we went to call ganxo, I destroyed the trip, I would lose the flight if we hadn’t argued. (But you saved it) I destroyed most of your friendships… I made you spend a lot of money to not act to your expectations… I got obsessed over an asshole that has been lurking around for more than 7 months.

Therefore, I probably destroyed everything… Being this jealous. Over a trump supporter that is not my friend but I can’t be an asshole…

So I have to text him accordingly…

Argghhhhhhh the more I write the more it accumulates in the tip of my fingers.

I told you when we started dating that people are somewhat predictable and they are.

I will sink now… One exam Monday, another Tuesday, work…. The water in the pipes only arrives Monday. You probably won’t come over… And I will be labeled the jealous crazy fuck.

What I need is something simple… But it will probably not happen, you’ll not empathize, won’t regret, won’t approach…

Anyways…