#but that's secondary to them fighting to be on each other's sides

[zeroeightzeroone]

lover of mine - bang chan

genre: angst, hurt/comfort

pairings: idol!bang chan x female reader

warnings: none

notes: if this looks familiar, it was originally posted to my secondary blog @zerothreetwentyfive so i'm republishing everything here on my main blog.

wc ~3k|moodboard

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ｡ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:

"i'll never give you away, 'cause i've already made that mistake,

if my name never fell off your lips again, i know it'd be such a shame.

when i take a look at my life, and all of my crimes, you're the only thing that I think I got right."

lover of mine - 5 seconds of summer

you always thought that the next time chan would be making you cry would be at your wedding ceremony.

initially, you would try to hold in your tears, just enough so that you weren't full-on sobbing and ruining your makeup. eventually failing as the tears flow freely listening to the man tell you the moment he fell in love with you, the moment he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you and the promises he vows to keep forever. chan's eyes would never leave yours as you exchanged vows; in that moment, only you and chan existed, the proclamation and celebration of your love were the only things that mattered.

instead, here you are crying over chan. sitting in the driver's seat of your car, sobbing over the man who once said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you, now not wanting to fight for that future anymore.

…

"you're doing it again."

the sound of your best friend's voice snaps you out of your thoughts, attention now on the girl sitting across from you, "huh?"

she reaches over and places her hand on yours with a sympathetic smile on her face. no words are needed from her to make you realize what you were doing whilst zoning out; fiddling around with your ring finger. a habit you picked up after chan proposed, and a habit that hadn't changed even without the band on your finger; your fingers instinctively moving to spin and twist a non-existent ring.

"right," you clear your throat awkwardly.

your hands slipping out from under hers, sliding them under your thighs hoping that maybe sitting on your hands would work against the habit.

"how are you?"

the word 'lost' feels like an understatement. the word couldn't encapsulate even a quarter of your feelings.

you felt directionless, overwhelmed by the constant switch between emotions: anger, frustration, sadness, and denial, it left you exhausted. day by day, you only grew more emotionally drained, the desire to feel nothing only intensifying.

the mere thought of the dimpled man gave you whiplash, your heart and your head conflicting with each other and your feelings pulling you from one end to the other. you couldn't pinpoint exactly how you felt about him.

god, you wished that you didn't even think about him.

you wished that you weren't plagued by the thought of him at every waking moment. everything reminded you of him, everything brought you back to the memory of how easy it was for him to let you, the person he proclaimed to want to spend the rest of his life with, to watch them walk out the door, to just give up without a fight.

why couldn't it have been easy for you too? why couldn't you just let him go the way he did you? forget him like he meant absolutely nothing?

as much as you wished it was, you knew it wouldn't be easy to move on from chan.

your early adulthood started with chan, moving in with him almost a year and a half after you started dating. he became a part of your routine and you became part of his; there was a time when your day didn't feel complete without hearing a goodnight from him or getting that goodnight kiss. your lives were intertwined, and your future plans were intertwined.

you believed chan was your future. he made you believe that you would write the next chapters of your lives together, that you two would be side by side on the road to forever. you envisioned your future with chan, without him you've hit a crossroads, struggling to navigate where to go from here. you were scared.

scared to learn what the future holds for you, scared to take a step towards a future without him.

on top of all that came public attention.

the news about your breakup hadn't been confirmed by chan or jyp entertainment. regardless that didn't stop the speculations and rumours that came with the lack of seeing you and chan in public together, seeing you without your ring, and other proofs fans would dig up. the algorithm also working against you as whenever you refreshed social media, the first couple of posts would be news articles, headlines and what have you, discussing the speculations.

'did stray kids' bang chan and his long term girlfriend call it quits?'

'fans of stray kids speculate bang chan and his partner have called off the engagement'

'netizens react to alleged proofs that bang chan and long term girlfriend have split up'

'breaking: did stray kids' bang chan and girlfriend split up? here's why fans are wondering about the status of the long-term couple'

your comments were flooded with questions regarding the rumours, mourning fans hoping that they were baseless and haters congratulating you on setting the man free. you wondered why the news hadn't been spoken about by chan or any official representatives but the speculations drove you to log out of social media. the realization that one day the articles and headlines will change from 'speculations' to 'confirmations' the anticipation and anxiety driving you insane.

you look back up to your friend, your lips pursed together in a small smile as you reply:

"i'm fine."

…

"chan hyung!"

the boy pulls the pillow up and over his head, trying to block out the noises from outside the door. hoping that the longer he ignored, the realization that he wanted to be alone would sink in and everyone would leave him be. that hope was short-lived as the door swung open.

"chan hyung!" changbin calls from his spot at the door, "you need to eat something."

from where he's standing, changbin watches chan groan out a response from under the pillow, making no effort to get up and go eat something. changbin's eyes drift to the older boy's bedside table, a picture frame is lying face down (probably a photo of you), and sitting on top of the frame is a gold band with a large diamond: your engagement ring. the sight of the band sitting on chan's bedside table and not on your finger has a small frown adorning changbin's lips.

"hyung, i know it's hard but please. you need to take care of yourself too," the younger boy sighs, "locking yourself in your room won't do anyone good."

of course, it wasn't easy for them to see chan in such a state.

chan had always been the one putting up a strong front, walking around with his head up no matter the circumstances as the leader. but these past couple of weeks, whenever chan was out of the public eye he'd walk with his head down, dragging his feet, no words leaving him. almost like he's being forced to be anywhere outside of his bedroom.

the members in the other dorm were curious about their leader, wondering how he'd been holding up but chan stopped replying to the group chat. it got to the point where the members made a chat without chan, using that to ask jisung, changbin and hyunjin how the older one was doing.

for as long as you were in chan's life, you were also in the member's lives. the news of the breakup came as a shock to them as well. they were all curious as to how you were doing too, but were hesitant to ask you directly for fear of making things harder for you. you met all of them through chan, and seeing their names pop up on your phone may just be another reminder of your ex.

changbin's eyes are on chan as the older boy takes the pillow off his head, slowly sitting up on the bed, feet hitting the floor but making no move to stand up. instead he's slouched over, head in his hands and sighing.

"do you, uh…" chan's voice barely above a whisper, "do you think i made a mistake?"

changbin shuts the door behind him hearing chan's question, realizing right now his friend needed someone to talk to before, maybe, going to eat something.

leaning against the door, he replies, "what do you mean?"

"w– was proposing… a mistake?"

"do you feel like it was a mistake?"

chan shakes his head, "no."

"did you mean everything you said when you proposed?"

"yes."

"then it wasn't a mistake."

chan lifts his head out of his hands, head turning to the younger boy leaning at the door. even in the dim purple lighting of chan's room, changbin can see how glossy his eyes are, how the bags under his eyes have gotten more prominent since yesterday.

"was… was letting her go," chan's voice shaky, "a mistake?"

changbin pushes himself off the door, making his way to sit next to his hyung on the bed. a comforting hand moving to chan's back.

"that's a question only you can answer," changbin's lips are pursed to one side, a sympathetic look in his eyes as he continues, "did it feel like a mistake at the time?"

"i- i thought i was doing the right… thing," chan's voice pitches higher at the end, questioning his own answer, "when i came home, an–and saw the dinner table, full of food she made for us. when she told me everything she was feeling, the look i-in her eyes."

chan loves your eyes, it's by far his favourite thing about you.

looking into your eyes had him falling in love with you before he even knew it. looking into them made it feel as if he was looking into your soul, almost like your eyes could tell him what your words couldn't. chan's day would immediately be flipped upside down just at the sight of your eyes, a shitty day becoming the best day when he caught a glimpse of those radiant, warm pools of life, your eyes sparkling with a zest and excitement for life that sent a wave of comfort over him. whenever he looked at you, that glimmer of hope in your eyes made him feel like everything would be okay.

but that night, the look in your eyes that night is seared into chan's memory. haunting him whenever he closes his eyes, whenever his eyes fall on your ring sitting on his bedside table.

that night when you told him just how lonely you'd been feeling, how you felt like he was treating you like the help and not as his fiancé; those words knocked some sense into chan. the harsh reality glaring him down: he had been falling short in your relationship. he had been so blind to that fact for who knows how long, listening to you had chan wallowing in guilt.

at one point chan felt like he was a third person watching everything go down, but it felt like he was watching you and a whole different person. he wondered why he wasn't saying anything, why he couldn't move, why he couldn't feel anything other than guilt eating him alive.

when he looked into your eyes, that's when everything came crashing down.

the eyes that once gleamed up at him, washing a wave of comfort and reassurance through his body were boring into his own. the contrast had his blood running cold. the sight of your hollow and dull orbs gazing up at him, even the sources of light around you did nothing to bring back that sparkle. the way your eyes looked incredibly sunken in, tired, swimming with distress as they searched his. he wondered how he hadn't seen the change before.

a change that happened because of him. the light in your eyes is gone all thanks to him. he wanted to be the one to preserve and make sure your eyes light up for the rest of your life, but instead he's the reason you look defeated. he couldn't handle the guilt eating him up at the sight.

"i-i broke her," chan whispers, "you could see it in her eyes how my shortcomings, the ones i was too blind and stupid to notice… that broke her. i broke her."

changbin doesn't say anything.

"i thought it would be better for me to let her go… get her away from me who was sucking the life out of her," chan's hands run through his hair, "she deserves so much more than me."

the older boy cries. his thoughts, feelings, everything just clouded with you.

"hyung," changbin's tone is soft, feeling out the atmosphere, "don't you think that it's sucking the life out of her even more, to be away from you?"

this time chan is the one who doesn't say anything.

"she wanted you to stay, she wanted you to convince her to stay."

"convince me to stay… please."

"i'm sorry."

"yes. from what you told us the day after you broke up, she does deserve better."

changbin's words send a dagger to chan's heart.

"but don't you want to be the one she deserves?"

chan's head turns to look at changbin.

"you need to work to be better, to be the one y/n deserves. that's what she wants, she wants you hyung."

"… m-me?"

"she wouldn't have said yes to marrying you if she didn't want you for the rest of her life."

…

your plan for the day was to wake up around noon, order some takeout or ransack your best friend's freezer for some food (and ice cream), chill on the couch and watch some netflix. instead you're jolted awake, at ten in the morning, by pounding at the front door.

rolling your eyes in annoyance, stretching your arm out, feeling around before grasping a pillow and clutching it over your head, trying your hardest to block out the noises and fall asleep. hoping the longer you hold out, it will give off the illusion that no one's home and come back later. a couple moments pass, a sigh of relief falls from your lips when the knocking stops, allowing you to loosen your grip on the pillow around your head.

maybe the neighbours got annoyed and kicked whoever that was out.

at the silence, you roll onto your side and shift your body around to get comfortable in the mattress. another long breath leaving your lips once that optimal position to fall asleep in is found, closing your eyes and getting ready to be lulled back into dreamland.

now you think someone is fucking with you.

the knocking starts up again, for a second you thought you'd fallen asleep and the knocking was continuing in your dreams but no. sadly, you weren't lulled back into dreamland like you hoped, the pounding in your head making it apparent that this was indeed, reality.

on top of all the things happening in your life lately, being woken up by a stranger relentlessly hammering the life out of their fist on your– actually, your best friend's– door is the kicker to a great day. a whine leaving your lips as you roll out of bed, pouting as you trudge to the door of the guest bedroom and continue your trek down the hall, towards the front door.

sure, you wouldn't have minded if your best friend, the person who lives in this unit, was actually home to answer the door. alas, she's at work whilst you're here; straightening out your pyjamas and plastering the fakest smile on your lips whilst you undo the locks, twisting the doorknob and swinging the door open.

"hello, mis—"

your jaw drops. posture immediately straightening due to the wave of tension that rushes through your veins, your mind comes up with two options: hide behind the door or run. your heart begins to race in your chest, tears threatening to spill at any moment but your feet are cemented to the ground. any urge you had to run away and hide quickly depleting at the sight of the man in front of you, a bouquet of flowers in his hands.

"chan… wh-what are you doing here?"

there he is: the man of the hour.

in front of you, in the flesh. standing a couple inches away from you clad in his usual all-black attire. you're avoiding his gaze but can't seem to pry your eyes off the bouquet in the man's hold.

a medley of red and white roses, baby's breath peeking throughout the arrangement.

"i- i needed to see you," chan's voice comes out husky.

shifting awkwardly on your feet, you sigh, "how did you know i was here?"

"multiple calls to your best friend and a long speech," he uses his free hand to scratch at the back of his neck, a nervous smile on his lips.

'she's getting a long speech from me too.'

"okay, well…" you clear your throat, "you saw me so bye."

you go to shut the door but chan stumbles forward, holding it open as he stands in the doorframe. the gush of air from his sudden movements gives you a whiff of his cologne. that along with the closer proximity has a lump forming in your throat.

"w-wait, i wanted to talk too."

"y-you spoke and so did i so, bye," you choke out, trying to close the door again but to no avail as his body blocks your way, "please chan, what more do you want from me? don't make this harder for me."

chan reaches forward at the sight of a tear falling, wanting to wipe it away but you flinch away from his touch. your reaction has chan recoiling, he shifts awkwardly on his feet. you go to turn away from him.

"i made a mistake," he states, his words coming out rushed.

you gulp, angling your body towards the man again. this time your arms crossed over your chest, your gaze still falling away from his face. chan's throat clears when he realizes that you're not going to speak.

"that night, i shouldn't have let you go," he continues, "i should've told you, said something, said anything to convince you to stay… but… fuck. i- i was scared."

your eyes glance up at his face, only to look away just as quickly.

"you're probably thinking, of what?" chan runs a hand through his hair, "but listening to everything you said, everything that i was stupid, ignorant enough not to notice, all those things that i did– or, uh didn't do… that hurt you. it scared me to tell you i wanted you to stay."

your eyebrows furrow in frustration, this time your gaze stays on his face, making no move to wipe the tears running down your cheeks.

"listening to you, hearing how much i hurt you. i- i thought it would've been selfish of me to tell you to stay," chan's voice cracks, tears falling from his eyes as well, "i thought i would hurt you more if you stayed… that you didn't deserve that, y-you deserved so much more than me."

"god, chan.…" a bitter smile on your lips, "you saying nothing, letting me leave… a-and not fighting for me, for us! fuck… that hurt more than anything."

the memories of that night have your heart aching. whimpering as the tears continue to fall, the sight has chan's gradually getting heavier in his chest. he wants nothing but to pull you into his arms and to never let go.

"i know… i know. baby, i'm so sorry," chan's cheeks are soaked with tears but he makes no effort to wipe them away, "i'm so fucking sorry. i thought i was doing what was best for you, but i fucked up, i fucked up big time."

your eyes lock with chan's. glossy, tear-filled orbs gazing into each other, at that moment the tears only build until the both of you are crying a river in the hallway.

chan quite literally launches himself at you. throwing his arms around your body and pulling you into his chest. instinctively, your arms wrap around his torso, nuzzling your head into his shirt. bodies trembling and shaking as the both of you cry in each other's arms.

chan soaks up every single thing about this moment; the warmth of your body radiating onto him, your face nuzzled into his chest, the smell of your hair, the way your hands grip the back of his shirt, the feeling of your body pressed up against his. he isn't even sure that you'll take him back. regardless, he knows he wants to work his hardest to ensure he'll have you in his arms every day for the rest of his life.

in his arms, he holds the person who has been with him every step of the way and supported him day in and day out. the biggest mistakes chan ever made took place on that day: not convincing you to stay, not telling you how he loves you with his entire heart, and holding your engagement ring in his hand while he watched you walk out.

chan wants you to be so much more than just his past and present, he wants you to be his future, his forever. he's always wanted that but he failed at showing you, instead hurting you in ways he was completely ignorant of.

"i love you," chan cries, you can hear his heart racing in his chest, "i love you so much. if you let me, i'll work every single moment of every day to show you that. when i told you i wanted you for the rest of my life, i meant it. i mean it with my whole heart. i fucked up–majorly, but i swear to you! i swear i'll show you that i'm the one you deserve, that i can give you that life you deserve."

chan looks down at you, enveloped in his arms as your gaze naturally lifts to meet his eyes.

chan's heart skips a beat.

there it is.

that sparkle.

main masterlist

[dangermousie]

A danmei lover's biased and incomplete het web novel rec list

@mercipourleslivres thanks for inspiring me!

When it comes to Chinese web novels, I mainly read danmei. I tend not to care too much for OP heroine with a hero who dotes on her for no reason as she fights with 14 year olds narratives, nor inner courtyard fights. BUT!!! There are some het web novels I like and so here is my biased and incomplete rec list. Most of these don't have OP heroines, and very little to none courtyard fights.

Before I start, my favorite het web novel authors are: Gong Xinwen, Mo Shu Bai, Peng Lai Ke, and Jiu Lu Fei Xiang. I have yet to read anything bad by them.

Anyway, rec list:

1000 Miles of Bright Moonlight - one of my ultimate favorites, this would make such an epic drama! A smart as hell heroine, a hero who is a monk and a warrior (but also terminally?) ill and such a vivid world and amazing secondary characters (heroine’s brother is possibly my favorite supporting character of all time) and so much angst and happy ending. This has an amazing romance but it’s not romance-centric if it makes sense - ML doesn’t appear for a while. But once he does, it’s worth it!

Accompanying the Phoenix - the one that just got adapted into The Legend of Shen Li, this is high adventure and cottage core and funny and tragic and powerful ML being putty in the hands of capable FL and just EVERYTHING.

Apocalypse Arrival - Gong Xinwen’s novels are made just for me. Her heroines are always powerful as fuck and rescue abused MLs. In this novel, our heroine who lives in the post-apocalyptic world, wakes up right before that apocalypse happens. She forms a survival crew and also rescues ML who has miraculous blood and has been drained of it and is now hunted after the rescue for it. SO GOOD!!!

Black Moonlight Holds the BE Script - so fucked up, so good, with monster hero who learns to love and be human and heroine who learns to love and be human (but from the other side, her tower of perfection.) Much better than the drama which I did enjoy.

The Blue Whisper - the drama was so-so, but the novel is a bona fide angst masterpiece, which really delves into what it feels like to be imprisoned or to love.

Counterattack of the Cannon Fodder Chambermaid - I remember starting this and loving the realistic feel and the heroine and wanting to stab the hero and @mercipourleslivres telling me to be patient. She was right, by the end I was on board with both the hero (who was abused and is rather autistic-coded) and the OTP. Anyway, heroine is a servant who was a concubine in the last life and got killed as part of a rich family’s harem intrigues. In this life, she just wants to keep her head down but her life gets derailed anyway. She gets sold away and eventually made a servant in the household of an exiled prince who takes a fancy to her and she endures it because what choice does she have? All she wanted was to serve out her term and become a small time merchant. This is quite realistic about lack of options for women, especially lower class women or upper class male attitudes (ML is never vicious or mean to FL but it does not initially occur to him to wonder if she fancies him or enjoys being his concubine or w/e.) It is a DELIGHTFUL slow burn tho as they grow to love each other and grow together and become one of the most wholesome cnovel couples out there.

Dandere General and His Lord - hi there, Gong Xinwen! God, I love this one. Heroine transmigrates from modern world into a brutal slave-holding world at war (think something like Warring States era.) Our heroine transmigrates into the body of a noblewoman who just hung herself. When she comes to, she discovers that woman’s twin brother was the ruler of a city poisoned by a rival claimant and the besieging army of said claimant is about to take the city and original occupant of the body and the rest of the family chose suicide as a way to avoid dishonor. Our heroine refuses, schemes with advisors to pass as the brother and rally the troops. Once the invaders are defeated, she keeps on the masquerade and rides off to one of the never-ending wars “she” is summoned to. Our hero couldn’t be farther from this. A slave and a son of a slave, he’s escaped a horrific, starving childhood during which he narrowly avoided being murdered or raped, and ended up in the army. When the story opens, he distinguished himself in battle and as a reward, he and a few of his fellow slave warriors are invited to a banquet, where they are given some alcohol and to be playthings of any nobles who want them. One of them does not survive this but ML is lucky - heroine feels terrible and so “claims” him for herself. Instead she just tends to his wounds and sends him back. She does not fancy him or anything, she is just a human being with a conscience. And the story goes from there.

Demon King's Repayment - another delicious Gong Xinwen tale with a powerful ML dedicated to capable FL. This one is a great fantasy plot (I keep imagining it as an animated series) and a sprawling cast of amazing secondaries (and secondary OTPs - there is, I swear, an OTP that is Dong Hua x Feng Jiu done thru GXW lens) to boot.

Doomed to Be Cannon Fodder - I hesitated to put this one on the list because by the end I was not keen on how misogynistic novel got to original female lead but it was one of my earliest novels and I loved it for 90% and it’s fucking hilarious at times. Heroine transmigrates as bit villainess into a novel, all she wants is not to die, but her new attitude of “pls stay away” catches the attention of her terrifying general husband. Honestly, imo still worth it.

Dreamer in the Spring Boudoir - my n1 novel on this list, smart and fierce and don’t really read this for romance because it does not start until really late, but ice cold heroine x ice cold hero both of equal brains and ruthlessness is everything. I went from loathing the ML to finding him fascinating to adoring him (and yet he softened around the edges only for FL, he never became “nice”) and loved FL throughout; secondaries are epic. If you read only one non-danmei web novel, make it this one.

The Emperor’s Beloved Ugly Girl - my n2 novel on this list. Our heroine is the unlucky laundry maid A’Chou. She is a di daughter of an upperclass family but her family got destroyed in one of the political upheavals of the time and A’Chou, only a small child at the time, was the only survivor and was made an enslaved laundry maid. Due to various events, at the start of the novel she is a laundry maid in a minister’s household and the minister’s beloved daughter is having a fit because she’s supposed to marry the former Crown Prince which may have been great a few years back but Crown Prince had since been deposed, tortured, imprisoned and now is living in the middle of nowhere under conditions that are too meager to be called house arrest. And he’s seriously crippled too. Understandably, the young lady doesn’t want to marry him! She’d rather kill herself and so she does. And so, a desperate plan is hatched - why don’t we pretend the laundry maid is the di daughter of the minister’s household and send her off? And so A’Chu is sent as the bride. She arrives to discover a broke, seriously injured man on the verge of death…and we go from there. This is so gorgeous and tender and slow in just the right way and like AAAAAA! Secondary OTPs (one of which is MM) are also epic.

Futu Tower - the drama (Unchained Love) was a mess but the novel is such a lovely, dark exploration of coming back to life, for the ML from his dark revenge-strewn path and for heroine from not being allowed wishes of her own. She is a tribute bride, he’s a (fake) eunuch, they are both servants who use themselves to achieve goals and find peace and happiness together.

The Grand Princess - a tale where both members of the OTP reincarnate as their younger selves after killing each other in their 50s, and get a new start, this is smart and slow and so good in portraying old souls in young bodies. Their rediscovery of not just each other but themselves and their passion for living is just AAAAAA!

Heroine Saves Gentleman - Gong Xinwen novel so we have a tough martial artist lady saving a very upper class scholar and it goes from there. If elegant gorgeous ML being saved and protected (and lovingly dommed) by awesome FL is your bag, pls come right in.

Husband Be a Gentleman - schemer meet schemer. He’s an idle prince she’s perfect daughter, in reality both are wolves out for blood. Mmmm. Very OTP gets together early and is us against the world.

I’ll Be the Male Lead’s Sister in Law - one of my all time favorite novels. Heroine is made to marry a disabled nephew of the emperor. He used to be a victorious god of war but went mad and now is basically locked away and kept as a beast. GOD I LOVE THIS NOVEL SO MUCHHHHH! So much hurt/comfort and awesome OTP and after he eventually recovers, all he wants to do is to fight and murder things and dote on wifey. MMM. He’s honestly one of my fave MLs.

I Married a Disabled Tyrant After Transmigrating - if you have a Florence Nightingale complex, this is for you. Heroine wakes up as tribute bride to an almost dead dragon lord and slowly nurses him back to life as his rivals try to murder him. They are both utter adorable babies!

Let the Villain Go - another Gong Xinwen novel, this and Apocalypse Arrivals are AUs of each other. Heroine is surviving in the apocalypse, ML is the “bugbear” of the world but in reality just reacting to all abuse and torture and after she accidentally saves him, devotes himself. Fun fun fun!

Long Wind Crossing - Amazing ML and FL who grow together, clever plot, arranged marriage to love etc etc. Oh, and one point he feeds her his blood to keep her alive, what’s not to love? (Adapted into Chang Feng Du/Destined)

Lost You Forever - this is a short but delicately wistful tale of trauma and loss and love, wrapped in a high fantasy setting but so relatable despite it.

Love In Another Life: My Gentle Tyrant - so so fucked up in the best way! ML cannot live with OR without heroine. It opens on them banging in jail night before her execution (ordered by him) with corpses of men he killed for trying to defile her cooling nearby. If you want healthy relationships with respectful boundaries, gentle and considerate male leads who are modern men in period clothes, OP heroines who have everyone help them and are OP to the max, fluff and wholesomeness, that is about the worst book for you.If you want complexity, dysfunction, darkness, pain and an absolutely lyrical even if fucked up story, come right IN!!!!I am so fucking in love with the melancholy heroine, with ruthless psycho hero and the endless regret and devotion and paaaaain!

The Marquis Is Innocent - our heroine is a beautiful woman married to a warlord who hates her family. (Yes, this was gonna be The Prisoner of Beauty until SZE tax scandal.) Except she's a transmigrator from the future who knows how it ended last time around and has no interest to end up this tragically. This is in my top 5 - FL is smart but believably so (and doesn't have super battle powers) and ML is a believable period warlord. The way their relationship develops so gradually and the way his character changes so gradually as well (and the way they slowly fall in love, her slower than him) is just amazing. It is such a smart, nuanced, gorgeous slow burn. With some gonzo sex scenes :P

Mulberry Song - you like tragic endings? Come right IN! This is short and heartbreaking and wistful and very what-if.

Nightfall (Ever Night) - so long but also so smart and unusual and bloody and tho it’s not primarily a romance, you will never see another ML who loves his FL as much as Ning Que does his Sang Sang. 

Offering Salted Fish to Master - in some ways, this novel is a mess, but I am recommending it because this is a rare example of "nope he's 100% a villain and murderdude and odd, but he does love the heroine" that the author commits to.

Pihanjin - yet another awesome PLK novel, this is once again, like with Marquis, a ruthless man and a beautiful woman getting a second chance on a second go-around. FL is a lot more wounded this time around though. If you LOVE watching ML grovel and slowly, gradually win FL over, this one is for you.

Princess Agents - a dark tale with an incredibly competent and militarily powerful/ruthless heroine and two terrifying men who love her (but neither is as terrifying as she is.) There is an OTP switch halfway through that shockingly makes sense and it's just SO SO GOOOOOOOD

Rebirth of the Malicious Empress of Military Lineage - this is probably the one “typical” novel on this list, heroine is reborn as her youngest self and gets revenge on those who wronged her last time around. It is really really well-written and heroine is competent, hero is doting and powerful etc. It’s not a trope I tend to love but I do when it’s done THIS well.

Rebirth of the Tyrant’s Pet: Regent Prince is Too Fierce: Borgias cnovel style! Our heroine was empress in last life and put her husband on the throne tho he did not love her. However, he had her executed and had his half-brother carry out the orders and heroine died horrifically. She opens her eyes and she’s a little girl again. The OTP this time around is heroine and half-brother executioner. Why do I love it? Heroine is smart and tough but also this is a rare rebirth novel where heroine does NOT decide to seek revenge for past life wrongs because they haven’t happened yet! In fact, she sees ML abused and stands up for him because he’s a kid and no kid should be mistreated and this go around he hasn’t done anything wrong. She also gets and likes her former life husband. Anyway, this is fakecest galore because she’s supposed to be their half-sister and while she knows (from past life) she is not, they do not and fall for her anyway. ML is especially gonzo, at one point carving chunks of his flesh to save her. He’s feral and unhinged and she’s the one person he worships because she protected him and like - it’s all awesome. (I love secondary ML too.)

Reborn to Love Lord Qiansui - yes, this is a eunuch novel! If you like gender tropes reversals, this one is for you. Heroine is a tough martial artist, hero is a smart as hell and powerful eunuch. A real eunuch. Heroine finds out she owes him her life and decides to protect him. This is a total delight and an awesome love story between two really scarred people. And yes, there is sex - heroine literally reads manuals on pegging :P

Return of the Swallow - so freaking long! But really good. Heroine is neither transmigrator nor reincarnator, just a smart period woman. She is a lost family daughter taken back in. Her father is a minister in a dying empire (father-daughter relationship is one of the best things in this novel), her OTP is enemy general, and the smartness and the awesomeness of this all knows no bounds.

Seven Unfortunate Lifetimes - probably the wackiest JLFX novel I read, this is quite different from Love You Seven Times drama that was adapted from it. Our deity protagonists go through a bunch of lives figuring out they fancy each other. It's light like a souffle but just as delicious.

To Be a Virtuous Wife - some people prefer 8 treasures trousseau but I never warmed up to that one. This one is so good, with smart people (who actually enjoy sex, a ratity) and a perfect mix of plot and romance.

Transmigrator Meets Reincarnator - my very first web novel. A lot lighter than a lot of the ones on this list but a total delight. Heroine transmigrates into a novel as the heroine; she has no interest in drama or chasing true love, she just wants to live a nice life with her nice husband. Too bad for her, her husband has reincarnated into his younger self and remembers how she betrayed him, so is not interested. This one is funny and light and romance doesn’t start till late on but a total delight!

Wishing You Eternal Happiness - this is tied with Dreamer as my favorite het web novel ever though it couldn’t be more different from Dreamer, with its hard-edged and hard-souled protagonists ruthlessly cleaving their way to the world and, eventually, each other, its smart cynical air. Except in one thing - the world of Wishing is just as bloody and dark. Its two protagonists are gentle, deeply wounded souls who may find salvation in each other but even something as basic as safety almost seems out of reach.

Jliafu, our heroine, is neither a modern-day transmigrator, nor some exotic princess or demoness. She is very much a period woman of her time, from a weathy merchant clan, whose beauty is her curse. You can tell the novel’s tone from that utterly bleak opening chapter where she, a favorite concubine of a capricious dying emperor, is ordered to be buried alive with him and is not even given the “grace” of white silk but slowly suffocates in the coffin, scrabbling at the lid. There is no grand threats of vengeance on her part, not dramatic opera events. Just despair and death. The whole introductory chapter is haunted by emotional ghosts - the empress’ unrequited love for the monster on the imperial bed (turning into desire for Jiafu’s suffering after he dies), the emperor slowly dying in his prime after waging too many wars, and his fear of being haunted by Pei Youan, a brilliant if sickly minister who died of illness long ago on one of imperial campaigns. There is no triumph for anyone, only loss.

When she wakes up as still a young woman, all she wants is to escape the same fate. There are no plans for power or revenge, only a desire for survival. And so she latches on asking for help from Pei Youan, the only man in her past go-around who showed any consideration and desire and ability to protect her, though he barely knew her. Pei Youan is probably my favorite het web novel ML. Despite his brains and ability, he drifts through life. In modern terms, he clearly has depression. One of the biggest, best joys of the novel is watching these two very good, very quiet, very wounded people discover happiness and love with each other. I sort of want to cry just thinking about it, tbh.

The Yandere Came During the Night - a bit of fluff that’s oddly delightful. Heroine is reborn as a (fake) sister of ML, she hurts her legs saving him and the “siblings” form a bond that ends up in fakecest delight. They are both smart and efficient and he becomes a sexy marquis etc.

[sombredancer]

Asian dramas and relationship dynamics

There are my favorite relationship dynamics as a list. Opposites attract + power couple

Drama: I Am Nobody /  异人之下 Characters: Zhuge Qing & Wang Ye Screentime: Minor I like it when characters are different in a way they could complement one another, but at the same time they are similar in terms of what is important for people to stay stuck together. Zhuge Qing is public, easy-going and wants to be friends with Wang Ye. Wang Ye is mysterious, reflexive and doesn't want to be bothered by other people. But no one can beat extrovert if he decided to be friends with you =) Plus, they are united by their superpowers: they are both powerful sorcerers and their sorcery is very similar in its nature. So they can compete and learn from each other and, if necessary, kick enemy's ass together. ̶A̶n̶d̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶i̶r̶ ̶d̶y̶n̶a̶m̶i̶c̶s̶ ̶h̶a̶s̶ ̶g̶o̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶c̶k̶ ̶B̶L̶ ̶v̶i̶b̶e̶s.̶ By the end of season 1 they are OK and together.

Drama: Mysterious Lotus Casebook / 莲花楼 Characters: Di Feisheng & Li Lianhua Screentime: Secondary Di Feisheng is a leader of a demonic sect, a former slave and a very straightforward man. Li Lianhua is a former leader of a righteous sect and an extremely sly man with not-so-bad background. But both of them are the best martial artists in Jianghu and went through a lot together. One wants everyone to leave him alone, another wants to be with him together forever. Both of them don't give a damn about everything that happens in the world but they care for each other. B̶L̶-̶v̶i̶b̶e̶s̶ ̶a̶r̶e̶ ̶a̶t̶t̶a̶c̶h̶e̶d̶.̶ The ending of the drama is obscure but I'd like to think they both are alive and happy together.

Drama: The Blood of Youth / 少年歌行 Characters: Xiao Se & Ye Anshi Screentime: Secondary A leader of a demonic sect who has an ultimate martial knowledge and a former best righteous martial artist, who is suffering from decease and can't fight anymore. What can unite them? The answer is: the similar mindset. They both had a great power and lost it, they both are shouldering great responsibilities which don't make them happy. Despite the fact that they should be on the opposite sides in Jianghu world, they are still good friends. M̶a̶y̶b̶e̶ ̶B̶L̶-̶f̶r̶i̶e̶n̶d̶s̶,̶ ̶a̶l̶t̶h̶o̶u̶g̶h̶ ̶X̶i̶a̶o̶ ̶S̶e̶ ̶h̶a̶s̶ ̶a̶ ̶g̶i̶r̶l̶f̶r̶i̶e̶n̶d̶.̶ There is a small extra ep at the end of drama, when they meet each other again in a very romantic way. Just search for it.

Drama: The Legends / 招摇 Characters: Lu Shiqi & Qin Qianxian Screentime: Minor She is from a demonic sect. He is from a righteous one. She is immune to the impact of spiritual power. He is the one of the most powerful people in terms of spiritual power. She is dumb, straightforward and pure-hearted. He is blissed yet sensible and burdened with difficult moral choices. They could be an ideal Yin-Yang couple. But they have BE, because it's "The Legends", everyone should die in here Т_Т.

Pride and Prejudice + power couple

Drama: The Yin-Yang Master: Dream of Eternity / 晴雅集 Characters: Bo Ya & Qing Ming Screentime: Main This dynanics is similar with the previous one, but here we are focused on how they ended up together. Bo Ya has prejudice against demons-yao and believes all of them should be executed. He meets half-demon-sorcerer Qing Ming who helps him to overcome his prejudice. Finally, they become friends (or̶ ̶m̶a̶y̶b̶e̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶ ̶o̶n̶l̶y̶ ̶f̶r̶i̶e̶n̶d̶s̶) and together they win over the evil forces. At the end they are separated but there is a hope they meet again.

Drama: Wuliang / 无量 Characters: Po Xiao & Feng Ren Screentime: Main People of different social status both seek to get a magical sutra. During a road trip they exchange opinions on the sutra and how to use it and change each other's mind. In the end it turns out that they together saved the world and can be finally together. As friends, of course.

Drama: Oh No! Here Comes Trouble / 不良執念清除師 Characters: Pu Yiyong & Cao Guangyan Screentime: Main Pu Yiyong looks like lowlife, studies very bad and hates Cao Guangyan, who is self-confident, smart and thinks low of Pu Yiyong. But a mysterious case with ghosts forces them to interact and they find out, that together they are a perfect team. Honestly speaking, this little series couldn't develop this topic as good as I hoped, but it's a really interesting story, so you can watch it for the ghost detective plot and get this type of relationship in addition. It's a Taiwanese drama, so BL-jokes and dalliance with a viewer were huge, but it didn`t help much. Still a nice dynamics and a good drama. Us vs the World

Drama: The Untamed / 陈情令 Characters: Wei Wuxian & Lan Wangji Screentime: Main I don`t like the novel, but I like drama exactly because here I can see this dynamics. In the past life of Wei Wuxiang Lan Wangji was not strong enough to go against the whole world to protect his friend (well, in the novel they are lovers, but it kills the main idea of this dynamics by turning it into "I do it all just to get into your bed", which is meh), and his friend died. Suddenly, 16 years later, he gets a chance to choose once more: to be a part of society and watch once more his friend dying or to be with him against everyone this time. The moment he chooses to be with Wei Wuxian against the whole world I felt cathartic pleasure. The drama ends up on a little bit obscure but positive note.

Drama: Word of Honor / 山河令 Characters: Zhou Zishu & Wen Kexing Screentime: Main A former king's assassin who is at the brink of death and just wants to live the time left in silence and a birdy master of the most skillful criminals find each other, find out that they are brothers-in-teachings and decide to fight against the world together just to live in silence and enjoy each other's company. When one thinks it's his last second of life, the other comes to help him even if they both can't beat the greater number of enemies and will die for sure. Catharsis! The drama has a small extra ep where they are together and all right.

Drama: The Legends / 招摇 Characters: Li Chenlan & Lu Zhaoyao Screentime: Main Them, again! The first half of the drama they have enemies-to-lovers dynamics, but then, when they find out the truth about Zhao Yao's death and about feelings for each other, they turn into Bonny and Clyde and go annihilate the righteous guys who are in fact not-so-righteous. And it makes me feel cathartic, too. A very catharsis-causing dynamics, indeed! It's little obscure, but they will be fine at the end of the drama.

Drama: Dong Lan Xue / 东栏雪 Characters: Shen Yan & Chu Ningyuan Screentime: Main Two bad guys work together to get power in the palace. And get involved in romantic relationship during their power gaining. Nice story with an open ending.

Drama: Derailment /脱轨 Characters: Qi Lian & Jiang Xiaoyuan Screentime: Main It's a little story inside a big one about transmigrators that you can read in another of my posts. It lasts something like 1,5 eps of the drama but is a nice story itself. A lonely bellicose boy from a rich family runs away from home where no one cares for him and lives on the street. A lonely girl from an extremely poor family and being bullied by classmates tries to survive in this world. They meet each other and understand that it's easier to fight their fate together. Nice story, it's a pity that this one is too short and not a main plot of the drama.

The next post will be about Asian dramas and familial dynamics.

[tremendum]

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Me and the Devil; v

(not my gif)

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previous next series masterlist

word count: 8.7k

summary:  "Paul's breaths are as sharp as yours; both of you like wild, scared beasts being hunted by something you cannot see. Something in the back of your mind tells you that you should not be wasting your anger on each other."

warnings: canon-typical violence, blood, v light smut, brief oral (m!receiving), choking, height difference mentioned (paul is taller), more mommy & daddy issues, nothing else i can think of but always lmk if you see anything.

notes: back with another chapter! Paul and r are once again Confused by everything that is happening, and keep going back and forth with each other,, But they're learning to use their words <3 Referendum is nearing closer and things are beginning to happen!:)

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Houses Prepare to Assemble for Landsraad Council

In preparation for next week's Space Trade Referendum, representatives from across the galaxy have begun to prepare their travels. This pivotal meeting, set to take place on the planet of Kaitain, will see the great houses Major and Minor deciding on crucial matters, foremost among them the future of space trading routes.

Along these decisions next week will be the final arraignment in the case of House Bourbon, as well as proposals to establish standardized protocols for resource extraction and deposit of space debris. Expected to be on the agenda is the recent and surprising disruptions in Spice supply, which has forced the Spacing Guild to explore alternative fuel sources in preparation for the increased traffic of intergalactic travel for the Referendum. Nexarite and Petroleum have been suggested by Guild engineers: Though Nexarite proves to have dimensional warping implications if used at lightspeed, petroleum is secondary and similarly less effective. 

Pressure has befallen Baron Vladimir Harkonnen, whose governance over the planet Arrakis holds him with the most power in the Spice trade; While petroleum may serve as a stopgap measure in the absence of spice, its inherent limitations underscore the urgent need for a sustainable long-term solution to the galaxy's energy consumption.

Will there be a decision drawn up at this Referendum, or will the scarcity of spice thrust the market power of these new fuel sources? 

- Collected Galactic News report sent to Duke Leto Atreides, 10191. Caladan. 

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You wake up with a gasp and fly upwards.

The sun is still slumbering - the sky a deep royal blue, castle so silent you can hear the waves crash against the cliffs below. You swallow breaths as they lurch down your throat, fighting off a cold sweat, a haunting; Paul's eyes - the fear, the recognition. Familiar.

You find the pitcher of water that was left for you and down almost half of it straight from the glass, letting it dribble from the sides of your lips as you gulp, the drops sliding over your damp skin and onto your trembling breasts. 

The wall is stagnant under your gaze - there are dried lingonberries that remain on your resting table, harvested fresh for you days ago. You don't know why you asked Hestia to keep them there when she was cleaning. Their sickly scent infiltrates your mind, stomach turning queasy. 

Mindlessly, you blink back the images of Paul's gasp, the blood flowing from his porcelain skin, the gritting of his teeth as he'd slumped against you. 

You're very troubled.

In a moment of weakness, you almost pull your robe on to seek Paul and tell him, but a nervous part of you suspects he may already know what you dreamt. The look in his eyes was so.. familiar; as if... 

You swallow hard. Perhaps you should have just told him. Told him all of it, even if he already knows it - about the breeding programs, about the selective mating, the Kwisatz Haderach; The reason it was so quickly approved for you to become Paul's child-bearer when Feyd-Rautha was no longer an option for you.

Fuzzily, you try to recall the nagging familiarity that his words yesterday had left you with. One of two, he'd said. You chew on your lip until it is raw. 

Guilt swirls in your stomach, but you stay put, sitting still below your bedsheets, staring silently ahead. I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. You repeat the mantra over and over until the sun rises over the cliffs, burning a bright orange and pink haze into the center of your vision. 

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Late in the morning is the Strategy Council - once again struck with a bout of fuzz-brain, you're half-asleep as you walk into the chamber, eyes seeking only one person. There has been nothing on your mind all morning - even when Hestia had entered to find you wide-eyed and spooked, when she had whispered of some castle gossip that you didn't listen to. 

Paul's chair is absent.

Your stomach drops as you slide into your own seat, blinking in surprise at the emptiness across from you. As Duke Leto enters and begins the meeting you try your hardest not to think too much about Paul's absence; Lady Jessica's eyes are on you intermittently, not serving to ease your worries. 

When Duke Leto speaks, the sound cuts through the hushed murmurs of the assembled council members. Your eyes meet his.

"Before we begin our discussion on the Space Trade Referendum, there is a matter of great importance that we must address." He's kind, stern; kind, in a way that makes you look back on your own incompetent, nearly absent father with regret. 

The Duke's gaze softens, "The arraignment of House Bourbon is set for the day after the Space Trade Referendum, and I believe it is imperative that we address it with you accordingly."

You blink in shock; you've all but accepted the fact that you might become a criminal within the next week and would have to beg the Atreides to buy your bail in front of the noble Landsraad Houses- you didn't expect to discuss it, though, and certainly not at a Strategy Council.

You've been ignoring this moment ever since news of the charges against your house and the consecutive assassination of your family had reached your ears; but there's no avoiding it now.

"Of course, sir," you reply, steeling yourself for the difficult conversations that lay ahead. "I'm ready for whatever measures need to be taken."

He nods. "The council and I have discussed it, and I am fully committed to advocating for your house's interests during the arraignment on behalf of House Atreides." He leans forward, "I plan to do everything in my power to convince the other houses to see reason and vote in your favor as well."

Given the political complexities surrounding the case, you raise your brows. "This might put you in a precarious situation, my lord," You start, throat dry. "I appreciate it more than you'd know, but..." You look around at all the faces; all of them but enemies to you weeks ago. All of them, loyal to the end of the House; the House that is claiming you as one of their own, even in the looming presence of what might come. "The Harkonnens are- well, they're powerful - not that House Atreides is not, but-" You flounder under the scrutiny of attention and for the first time, you feel small, embarrassed in front of them all. You're not sure what's gotten into you; gritting your teeth, you realize that Reverend Mother Helen has gotten into your head without even seeing you on her visit. 

"-We understand your concerns," Lady Jessica speaks up. "but you are now a part of our house, and we will protect you." 

You can't help the surge of gratitude washing over you; nodding, you concede. "House Bourbon has long been allies of House Atreides," Gurney Halleck says, his stern eyes meeting yours, "this is a return of the favor." 

"Thank you." You say, voice sounding almost warm for what might be the first time in front of the council, "Your support means more to me than I can express." You wish your mind was less consumed with your visions; perhaps then you'd feel truly appreciative of their gesture. You force a smile onto your face, hoping it comes across less as a grimace. The Duke nods, a faint smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

"I cannot speak for the other houses," he admits, his tone somber suddenly. "But I fear there may be those who seek to exploit this situation for their own gain."

You expect nothing less, nodding in agreement. The great houses are not in your good graces, and you not in theirs. 

"Whatever the outcome, you have the support of House Atreides behind you." Duke Leto says firmly, eyes meeting yours with unwavering resolve.

As the subject is laid to rest in preparation of the upcoming off-world travel, you try your hardest to listen and absorb the information about the Referendum next week.

You'll be leaving at the end of this week, in only a few days - half of the Duke's council will attend for the Referendum and the conferences, and you must go for your own arraignment. 

Trying as hard as you can, you cast away the turmoil that spins around restlessly in your stomach - staring hard at Paul's absent seat, you can't stop thinking. Even as the meeting continues, you go through the motions and relay your own input with a hollow voice, eyes downcast. 

Pain in his voice, gasps of sharp, labored breathing. 

The glint of Feyd-Rautha's skin behind him as blood spills. 

You need to find Paul. 

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Your luck is struck within minutes of the council's conclusion.

Immediately after the Strategy Council is the first of likely many wedding planning meetings - significantly smaller in party than the Strategy Council, but infinitely more intimidating for you. 

You never got any say in your wedding with Feyd-Rautha; likely why you remained living on Giedi Prime for four cycles and never actually married. He chose rather to train and attend strategy councils about spice and Arrakis or more often concerns on-planet; when he did consider the wedding, he would often disregard your opinions and insist it was only important after you gave him an heir. 

Not that you've ever been keen to marry anyone, but what say does a girl have in such a matter? 

Nevertheless, you are more than relieved to attend, solely because you're sure Paul cannot miss this meeting; if anything, because his parents would chastise him like a petulant child. 

The Duke walks with you back to his own quarters, making conversation politely. You find a surprising comfort within his voice, even if you're still on edge - perhaps because of this, you actually succeed in making him laugh once as you mention your interest in learning to pilot a ship; He himself wanted to be a pilot when he was young, you learn. 

You settle into your seat with a grace you don't quite feel; the room is more intimate: in the Duke's new study, at a round table with five chairs, four of which are occupied within seconds. 

Paul's eyes have been on you since you crossed the threshold - an intent gaze that has you shifting, meeting his stare head on when you settle. He looks similarly spooked but there is an anger that simmers, bubbling low. 

You want to ask where he was this morning; why'd he miss the council, when he'd clearly planned to attend not twelve hours before? 

His own eyes scream at you; clearly, he also wishes to speak with you. You open your lips to say something, anything to him. Your dream - he has to know, he must.

But Duke Leto breaks the silence before you can. "Thank you both for joining us. This is our House Administrative Assistant, she helps us plan events." 

You introduce yourself to the woman; She is kind, very serious but jolly at the same time - you wish you could be more present, but your brain is not willing to cooperate. Perhaps as a defense mechanism - the prospect of planning a wedding is thoroughly uninteresting to you, to be tied inexplicably to Paul; More present than this, your thoughts and opinions are overclouded by the more pertinent threat of war, economic or otherwise, being planned by the very sisterhood you were raised to be a part of. 

They have their hands everywhere, especially in the great houses, and you do not wish to see the roles designed for you and Paul within their plans. 

It is then that you realize the last chair is likely for Lady Jessica, who has foregone this small meeting.

Vaguely, you wonder if the Duke and Paul can tell how unsettling she is to you; it's nothing against her, actually - her loyalty to her house as well as the sisterhood is admirable - but perhaps she reminds you too much of your past. Of your own mother. 

Easily, the coordinator launches into discussion, outlining the initial plans for the wedding; it will be an evening event, with most of the court and family invited - you barely hold in a sardonic laugh at this, looking solemnly at the ground. Shall we invite my father to walk me down the aisle? you think bitterly, recalling how hard his body had hit the sand in that arena, the sickening way his head snapped back. 

You listen as intently as you can, nodding along as she discusses potential venues, guest lists, and ceremonial traditions.

"And now, onto the matter of your family's traditions," the Coordinator says, turning her attention to you; it jolts you from your own thoughts, images of a blood-stained blade, a gasp for breath, brown curls. "We'll be sure to incorporate them into the ceremony as you see fit."

You hesitate, brow furrowing slightly - she does not seem like she's planning on listing them now, so you're unable to pretend you know what to expect; sheepishly, you clasp your hands against the table. "I must admit, I am not as familiar with my house's traditions as Paul is," you confess, casting a glance in Paul's direction. 

His eyes meet yours; tilting his head, his eyes almost chirp, I offered you the book. You glance back, I know. His lips press into a fleeting grin and for a moment, your stomach runs cold as if he'd actually heard you. But he hadn't. 

You can't ignore when the Duke's lips twitch into a subtle smirk of his own; you fight the flush of embarrassment that creeps into your cheeks as he takes in the information, nodding slowly. He mustn't misinterpret your bond with Paul as romantic interest - instead of a keen instinct for survival at all costs.

"Is that right?" He asks his son, who nods curtly, almost indifferent.

Your eyes cast away, wondering when exactly it was that you started to see yourself on Paul's side; was it when he'd offered to share lunch, or when you'd seen those books about your house and homeplanet on his bedside? No, certainly not. Those are much too trivial; while charming, you know better than to trust a man on such frivolities.

Perhaps, more likely, yesterday - when he'd told you of the Bene Gesserit plans, of the visit - when you'd told him about his own mother. Or, the dreams.

While no amount of sexual fantasies could genuinely sway your opinion on an enemy (the Bene Gesserit in you has seen to it that sexual manipulation can only go one way), the other parts - the more unpleasant ones...  

You're rather restless.  - after the dream last night, you're not sure who to trust, or if you should tell the Duke; Paul may be the only one you can trust with this information, regretfully.  

"Whatever rituals you deem fit will be incorporated into the ceremony. We're planning for it to take place in a month, just before the end of the galactic year." Leto says, watching you for your response. "Perhaps you two can review them and work with our coordinators after you've decided what seems right." 

Paul nods dutifully, eyes flickering to you.

Your stare is intent, wishing to convey the urgency you feel to end this foolish meeting and get somewhere private, not caring one single bit about any rituals or ceremonies. It's all means to one end, isn't it? 

"Do you still have the book on Bourbon Customs, Paul?" You ask, voice just as emotionless as usual; it feels as odd as it sounds to discuss something that might normally excite a wife with the tone of such boredom, but you truly have way more important things to be talking about. You hope he can read between the lines you so delicately convey. 

"Yes." He affirms, perceptive and intelligent as always; sitting up, he starts to address his father and the coordinator, "Perhaps we can meet after the Referendum to further discuss the wedding - in the meantime, Lady Bourbon and I will discuss which of our house traditions we'd like to perform at the wedding." 

You let out a microscopic breath of relief at the pleased look on the Duke's face; he dismisses the small meeting, but Paul is rushing out of the room quicker than you can even stand. 

With as much effort as you can harbor, you exchange short pleasantries with the woman beside you and the Duke before rising to follow after Paul briskly, trying not to be too obvious. 

Within the dim hallway that leads to Paul's quarters, his cloth tunic looks nearly gray.

"Paul." You call, your shoes clacking on the stone as you try to catch up with his stride; pausing slightly, he allows you to catch up to him. Your name is breathed gently, his voice sharp with importance as he pulls you with him towards his room. 

You stumble to catch up with him, caught off-guard by the fearful, angry energy that radiates from him. He is calculating, quiet; this has not changed, but there is a heat in his sharp glare that alarms you. 

"It was you." His voice is quick, whirling around on you - for a moment, there is a darkness in his eyes you haven't seen. He doesn't have to elaborate for you to swallow, staring up at him.

"Yes." You affirm, "And you..." 

He nods so microscopically; your heart flips. It's silent, heavy with the realization in his silent bedchamber.

"It was normal, at first." He starts, shaking his head smally, "but then... suddenly we were standing there and- I felt it." He mutters, watching you intently. His jaw clenches. 

"I know it was you. You used this." He rips away your robes from your left hip and it slides from your shoulders; affronted, your hand comes to halt his wrist, snapping him away. He expects to see the same engraved hilt - you see it in his eyes - but, where there is usually the black leather of your nameday knife, today there is just your waistline.

He stares down, eyes cold. 

You couldn't bare to take it with you this morning when you left; you could barely stand to look at it as Hestia had dressed you.

His eyes rove over your figure slowly, as if expecting to find your blade snugly hidden in some curve of your skin; no avail, as he reaches your own strict gaze. There is heat in your abdomen, but you ignore it for the fear in your veins. 

He dreamt that you stabbed him. He didn't see Feyd at all. 

"I didn't..." You shake your head, "I didn't stab you." You insist. He looks off towards the wall above your head, sighing sharply, "You did in my dream." 

"-No." You argue, "He was behind you," Your voice is a hushed whisper, so close to him you can almost feel the warmth that radiates; there is a fuzzy electricity in the room that makes your fingers itch as you release the grip on his cotton-bound wrist, pushing his grip away from you. His hand flies back like it'd been burned by your touch, anger seeping through his lashes. 

"Feyd-Rautha." You clarify, your own jaw setting, "He was there, holding my knife." 

Paul's brows furrow. "You stabbed me. I felt you, with me. You were there." He insists, shaking his head. You swallow thickly, "I know I was there. You aren't listening to me."

"Why should I?" He snaps, staring at you with distrust, "If Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen was there, why didn't I see him?"  

"I-" You tug at your hair in exasperation, "Fuck, Paul, I don't know." you hiss. 

Such implications strike your heart with dread; and if your dreams with Paul are inexplicably intertwined, a beat of fright hits you - for once in your life, you wish beyond your world that Feyd-Rautha has been finding seamless, dreamless sleep recently. 

You are dimly aware of the slight chill upon your bare shoulders; the tank-top you've donned, cotton like Paul's, is breezy without your robes to cover your exposed skin, and the material pools lazily around your bent elbows from where Paul had disrobed you, searching for your dagger. 

"We can't risk telling my mother," he murmurs, his tone laced with urgency, "If she learns of our dreams, she'll never let us pursue Sabberon if the Harkonnens take it."

Begrudgingly, your fears are mirrored in his words and you run your hand over your face, "So we just hope she can see through our lies? Paul, you know just as well as I that it is a near impossible feat." 

Paul hesitates- there is a shadow in his eyes, a dark looming thought you wish to unearth. "She'll stop at nothing if it means going against the Bene Gesserit's plans for us. We just- we don't know which path that is."

Your voice is steely with resolve, "I won't let them dictate my future." Not when the rest of the galaxy is going to do so next week. 

Before Paul can respond, the distant sound of footsteps echo down the hallways outside and he guides you slowly backwards, away from the hall. Near the bedpost in his room, he stops and leans to whisper closer to you; his curls hang unruly in front of his eyes, not styled like it typically is. He looks slightly rumpled, as if poor sleep has rendered him consumed by thoughts. 

His eyes flicker to the bedstand and back down to your eyes, "I think you need to let my mother train you." 

You blink, inhaling sharply, "You don't know what you're saying." 

Somewhere in you, you know he's right. He sends you a look, "I do, and you know it. Even if we can't lie to her, we need to stay sharp. Maybe we can find out what the Sisterhood wants from these dreams, because they're clearly important to them. We have to be prepared for whatever happens." 

You lift a brow, "And if nothing happens?" 

"You believe this all to be in our heads?" He asks, eyes genuine; a plead, a small hope that perhaps all this danger and concern is for nothing.

Your sharp sigh is answer enough.

He continues. "You wouldn't have brought up the Harkonnen petroleum reserves for nothing. Or the materials on Sabberon. This threat is real, and even if it isn't, our dreams are." He insists this, and you cross your arms. 

"You sound like your mother." You snap. "She believes everything Reverend Mother Helen Gaius Mohaim says." 

He stares at you incredulously, "You were in my dream, were you not?" His voice is stern and it sets your teeth on edge. "Unless we unknowingly consumed Spice last night, I think that was pretty real." 

You are not a fan of the sardonic tone he takes - he's right, but it does not soothe your concern. Paul has been raised to become a Bene Gesserit by his mother - a male Bene Gesserit? The only reason for that lingers in the back of your mind; perhaps if you continue your learnings, you could remember. A phrase whispers to you, but you do not know what it means. The Shortening of the Way. 

You briefly entertain the thought that Lady Jessica has slipped something into your morning teas - some Spice-laden elixir that makes you and Paul dream together - but this is a childish thought, an escape from the harsh reality of destiny and fate. You know these things to be true, because you know it was woven into your DNA centuries ago. 

"I think this is a bad idea." You say honestly, relieved to have the freedom to argue with your husband-to-be without the real threat of having a throat slit or tongue removed. "Why should I trust your judgement?" 

He huffs smally, "Why should I trust yours? You try to kill me in half of my dreams." 

You glare sharply, "Well I haven't killed you yet, have I?" You snap, growling at him.  

His glare is sharp, hostile. "I know my house better than anybody, and I know my mother just as well." He says, "You and I will train with her together. We need to find their plans out ourselves, and this is the only way. We will just ensure Reverend Mother Helen Gaius Mohaim is none the wiser." 

"You are a fool if you think she will not catch on." You insist.

His jaw sets. "I have trained my whole life to make decisions like this."

"And yet, you make the wrong one."

"Watch your mouth." His voice is ominously quiet, taking a step into your personal space. "I will be your Duke one day." His chin tilts, ever prideful; you scoff. Defensively, you bristle. 

"-and I will be your duchess. That means but little to me, my lord." You retort, leaning towards him; You're close enough to smell the soap on his skin again, the anger, the fear that radiates in beats of his heart. "I did not ask to be here, if you recall." 

Even a sneer looks somewhat graceful on his face. "That means but little to me." He parrots back, eyes sharp, "You're here, so you will do what I say." 

Fury rages in you; his voice is deep, more commanding than you've heard yet - your jaw clenches, not backing away even with him towering over you. 

You're mine to keep. There's plenty of life left for you to serve - the voice in your mind warps, though, the ever-haunting rumble of Feyd's voice morphing into Paul's smooth, low one - fear and resistance sprout within you. 

It's an impulse, a trauma response. You barely think. Your hand moves, palm open flat - aiming to strike him on the cheek, to slap him hard. 

But to your shock, he catches it with reflexes quicker than you can imagine, fingers wrapping around your wrist just before it makes contact with his skin.

Eyes angry, his nostrils flare and the chimes that hang near his bedroom window tinkle gently as energy slips around you. His lips move before you feel the Voice. 

"Don't." 

The Voice sets your spine straight and your teeth on edge - still considerably weak in the skill, his command is combatted by your urge to drop your wrist as you stare at him, beyond bewildered. 

He told you yesterday that he's been trained by his mother - until now, you haven't really considered what this means - he possesses the skills to use the Voice. He is keenly intelligent and, by your suspicion, being trained by Thufir Hawat in more than just tutelage, but also as a Mentat; an unlocked secret tries to worm its way from the back of your mind. 

Your spine shivers. A phrase whispers in the back of your brain, a fear long-nestled and roused awake after years of hibernation: Kwisatz Haderach. The Shortening of the Way. 

You shake yourself of the sudden trance, trying to wrench your hand away but failing by his surprising strength and grip on your wrist. You know you should tell him but you're too presently angry, too absorbed in your own fear and pride. 

Using your free hand not caged by his hold, you shove hard against his chest, until he hits the wall with his spine and skull; wincing, his grip on you only tightens as you fight to free your hand. You glare at him, on your tip toes as you hold your palm flat against his heaving chest, feeling his heart thud against his sternum. 

"No man holds power over me." You say, pressing harder, wrestling your wrist away from him to no avail; he maintains a firm, furious grip on you, his eyes sharp, watching you. "You are no different." 

His breaths are as sharp as yours; both of you like wild, scared beasts being hunted by something you cannot see. Neither of you are truly trying to fight: Tired of running but knowing you've just started. Something in the back of your mind tells you that you should not be wasting your anger on each other. 

His eyes still have that sinister stare; serious, calculating. 

"It should not be a man you worry about." He whispers, head tilting down to you. His features are dark even in the light of day; "Despite what we feel about them, the Bene Gesserit give us power." His grip is tight; guiding with his heart, defiance in his eyes. Your lips part, arm relieving the pressure against his chest, still making sure he doesn't move otherwise. 

His brows furrow, jaw set. "You should be accustomed to living with the enemy, anyways." 

It's a slight against you; you grit your teeth - he's right, though. The Bene Gesserit is not an enemy, per se -both of you know this, but the sisterhood is dangerous, and if you aren't careful, this whole thing might completely backfire. 

There's a moment of silence as you consider his words, the weight of your situation pressing down on you like a suffocating blanket; Paul is right - you can't just go blindly and without training that can help you in the future, no matter how fiercely independent you both may be.

You almost relent, but in the silence your arm drops and Paul's - still holding your wrist tight - follows until he holds your arm stiffly between you. In the tense silence, your other arm slides off of his chest slowly, your eyes flickering to where his hand still holds your wrist; as if genuinely concerned you might unsheathe a hidden blade and plunge it into his stomach in the blink of an eye. 

"Paul?" 

The voice belonging to neither of you makes you jump in shock; Paul similarly jolts, both of your heads snapping to the entryway where Lady Jessica enters, a servant hovering nervously behind her with a laundry basket in her hands. 

"-I'd like to speak with you about-" 

Her words trail off as her eyes flicker towards the two of you; your face burns, jumping away from Paul as he drops your wrist like a dead stone, jumping from the wall. 

Your stomach flips in fear. How much did she hear? 

Paul glances at you sharply, your heart pounding; it was as if she knew that you were speaking of her and the Bene Gesserit. Had she heard anything? How silent was she when she arrived in his quarters? 

She averts her eyes at the sight of the two of you so close - at short glance, possibly appearing as if in some kind of embrace - but unfortunately her gaze lands on the bed right beside you; there is a faint blush coloring her cheeks. 

You share the fleeting glance with Paul, a silent understanding passing between you; Despite the true nature of your conversation, the proximity of the bed and the... intensity of how close the two of you could be easily misconstrued as something far more intimate.

Which might actually play in your favor. 

She presses her lips into a thin line, "-Apologies. I didn't realize-" 

Paul clears his throat, shaking his head. "No, Mother, you're not interrupting anything," Paul assures her quickly as he moves away from the bed; another quick glance at you once again shows his fear of being caught talking about her.

You wipe sweaty palms on your trousers, hoping she can't see your hands shake; The embarrassment of her and the servant thinking you were becoming intimate is better than her becoming suspicious of your whispers and secrecy. You're nearly shaking with fear at the prospect of her overhearing your plot. 

Thankfully Paul holds the same thought. 

"We were just... discussing some matters of importance." He utters, clearing his throat as he reaches to adjust the robe of yours he'd knocked askew minutes before. You play the part just as well as he does. Smiling sheepishly, you pull your robe tight around your frame and duck your head. 

Lady Jessica nods, eyes narrowing slightly. "Well, I was just hoping to chat with you while you walk to your weapons lesson, Paul," she said, her tone even, "I didn't realize you had company, my apologies. I'll leave you to it."

"-no, please," You interrupt as she turns; she stops, turning back to the two of you. You flash what you hope is a convincingly kind smile, pulling further away from where you stand next to Paul. "I was just leaving." You insist. Your heart beats hard in your throat still, but you turn to place your hands on Paul's shoulders. He stares at you, shocked as you lean towards him. If it were a different situation, you might've chuckled at the alarm in his eyes as you near him with your lips. 

Your breath hits his cheek as his head cranes down slightly to meet you, sensing what you're trying to do under the awkward attention of the others in the room. "Find me later." You whisper, barely more than a breath, against his cheek. His curls tickle your lips gently.

Playing the part you peck his skin slightly over the sharp cheekbone, eyes flicking over his shoulder to see his mother avert her gaze politely. You hope, to the servant and Lady Jessica, that it looks like you're bidding him a good day - a flushed, embarrassed lover caught in an act of passion and taking her leave. 

How simple life would be if that were the case. 

When you pull back from him fully, his cheeks are a dusted rose color - a good actor, then. He nods tersely, watching as you spin on your heels and bow to Lady Jessica, smiling at the servant slightly as you slide past them, hurrying down the hall towards your freedom. 

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Paul does find you later, in the afternoon when the sun is hidden by misty clouds.

Out in the gardens of Castle Caladan, the season is ending with the year and the plants that bloom are resilient to the less rainy months that come. Your feet are bare, your dress long as you stroll, unaware of his presence. 

Odd to see you so relaxed - your hands smooth over stone figures within the garden; he walks up behind you silently, murmuring your name when he's close. 

You jump slightly, acting fast; pressing with your full force, he's caught off-guard and shoved against the hedges which line the area. Catching his footing, his hands stop you - one on your hip, the other around your shoulder. His thumb dips against the hollow of your throat. 

There is a misty rain that falls lazily from the clouds in the sky; serene, quiet. Your breaths intermingle, your hands against Paul's chest. "I dreamt of you this afternoon." You say, voice faint. He hums, tilting his head at the fuzzy feeling. "Did you?" He asks; his voice is far away. You nod, leaning towards him like you'd done earlier - you brush his own lips instead of his cheek, and he feels far away. 

"I dreamt of you in a large throne room..." You whisper, lips just barely brushing over his, your hands roving over his chest. His own squeeze you; the one around your shoulder slides to hold your neck, the one around your hip holding you close. "One I've never seen before." 

Your lips ghost over his neck then, head tilting back to the misty skies. "There was spice in the sand that tracked in through the entrance..." You whisper, biting at his skin; he feels like he's floating. His hand squeezes the softness of your throat. 

"You sat on the throne atop the stairs," You whisper, suddenly sinking lower - your hands tug his belt, now on your knees before him. He does not fight the arousal that swirls within him, instead letting one hand gather your hair from your face. Your eyes are bright - for a moment, they're glowing a blue he's never seen, but you blink and it's gone in a hazy fog. He cannot seem to make out many features of your face, even as he blinks. It feels as if he'd swallowed cotton. 

"-and I, between your thighs." You whisper, lips moving to mouth over his trousers; he lets out a groan, growing more hard by your touch - his hand squeezes and he's not sure if it's against your throat or your hair; you let out a mewl either way and it floods him with desire. You've never made a noise like that before, and he would quite like to hear you make it again. 

Throne room? He starts to say - he is not so vain as to ever desire a throne to sit on - but the feeling of your warm mouth around his cock has him groaning, forgetting his words as he gasps-

Paul wakes up, sitting straight up -drenched in a cold sweat from the breeze that flows coolly through the open window. His chest heaves as he blinks at the wall ahead, disoriented and thoroughly discomfited. 

"Shit," He whispers to himself, head falling back against his pillow.

He can hear the misting beginnings of rain - he must have slept for a few hours, because the sky was clear when he returned from his lesson with Thufir Hawat, intending to lie for just a minute. 

The sun is hiding near the ocean; he must have missed supper. 

Groaning, he forces himself up and into the shower, where he stares ahead at the wall silently and lets the ice-cold water soak through his skin. 

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When he finally drags himself out into the castle, he has no luck tracking you down - done with lessons, you're likely in the dining hall or in your own room eating supper. 

He checks your quarters first.

Walking in hesitantly, he calls your name and casts his gaze to the ground, wary of what he might catch glimpse of should he burst in unexpected. 

"Paul?" A voice calls, but as he crosses the threshold into the room, he sees it is not you, but another familiar face. 

"Oh, hello." He says, nodding as Hestia stands near your dining table - packing up the remnants of dinner. He eyes the two sets of silverware and dishes, noticing a crumb on the corner of Hestia's cheek; You've been taking your meals with her nearly every day since you arrived here. "Have you seen her?" He asks, trying to remain formal. 

"Who?" 

He gives her an unimpressed look; she rolls her eyes with a sigh. She's surprised to see him, he can tell. It shows on her face. "She just left for the gardens," Hestia says, crossing her arms suspiciously. "Why do you ask?" 

His head tilts at her, "Is it odd for me to wonder where my betrothed is?" 

She gives him that look - the all-knowing one, the one that makes him wonder if they really are siblings. She knows him much too well. "Yes, it is odd, Paul." She's blunt; she'd never dare speak like this to him in front of members of the House court, but in their own time or with his parents, Paul insists they're equals. 

"I didn't even know you talked to each other." she snarks, lifting one brow.

Normally he might entertain her teasing, but his mood is quite sour on the subject of you and he'd rather not hear more chastising about your strained relationship with each other.

He shakes his head, turning to head towards the gardens.

"You should watch your tongue, Hestia." He says half-heartedly. He ignores her laugh as he leaves, walking quickly to find you. 

It doesn't hit him until he's in the garden, walking down a path that feels oddly familiar: It's just like his dream. 

Cheeks heating, he rolls his eyes; Coincidences won't kill me, he thinks, but you might. 

When he sees your figure, he's extremely relieved to see you completely bundled from head to toe and sitting on a bench, looking up at the darkening sky, squinting in the mist. When he's still a safe distance away, he calls your name. 

"Paul." You say curtly when your gaze finds him. You pat next to you - a surprisingly child-like action as you scoot yourself slightly. "Sit." 

He does. It's silent for a moment, in which the wind blows his curls around just as it does yours; it's evening, and this late in the year it is already growing dark. 

"I told your mother I'd like to train with her." You say, staring up at the sky again. "I don't think she heard what we were saying earlier." 

His shoulders relax at this; fear had shot through him at the prospect of his mother discovering the reason behind your sudden willingness to cooperate.

"She seemed pleased with me. She suggested we start after the Referendum." 

Paul expected his mother would suggest this; With only a few days until several members of their House leave for the Referendum and your arraignment, there'd be no real time to start again until after. He knows better than to say I told you so, but he wishes to. 

The thought of your arraignment has him turning to look at you, noting how your eyes look against the green of the grass, the dark of the sky, the soft light from the castle. 

"How do you feel about it?" 

You do that odd exhale from your nose again, shaking your head, "You must know how I feel about the Bene Gesserit by now, Paul." 

"No," He starts, tilting his head to look sidelong at you, "the arraignment." 

Your face changes, but you say nothing. He takes a breath. "The Baron is a cruel man." Paul starts, "You know we will do everything we can to make sure he does not sway the opinions of the other Houses." 

To his surprise, your lips morph into a soft smile; a rare one, very uncharacteristic of such a cold, strong woman; it doesn't make you seem any less fierce, though. "You're so much like your father." You say, voice shockingly reflective. He doesn't know why you choose to say it. A moment of hesitation before you speak again, surprising him with your words. "You're going to be a good Duke." 

Praise does not seem to come easy from you, nor does it from him; He lets himself be vulnerable for a moment and admits to himself that it is a good thing you are so headstrong and sharp-tongued. To keep him in check. He knows your argument earlier this morning was too far; both of you were anxious, stressed - truthfully, he's glad you are willing to push back. 

"And you'll be a good Duchess." 

In the quiet of the garden, not daring to meet each other's eyes, you huff a short laugh of doubt. He doesn't bother arguing with you about it. 

"I know House Bourbon doesn't have any real power over Sabberon anymore, but it is still by decree under my family's sovereignty." You say; he nods as he stares off into the hedges across the way. "-when I lose it officially next week, it cannot go to the Harkonnens." Your voice is hollow. "They are unfathomably evil." 

He knows - but, he realizes as your finger traces over a scar fading on your hand, he doesn't know like you do. He's seen that knife now in person and in dreams; he's studied enough to know the kind of ritual one must go through to get one. A nameday knife for a future bride of House Harkonnen - because that's what you were going to be, once upon a time. He's read about it, and it is not pleasant.

For a moment, he remembers you when you'd arrived on Caladan; teeth sharp and voice distrusting, a woman ready to lash out at any moment. A beast, you'd wanted everyone to think. 

You're not a beast. 

Confusing, dangerous, foreboding- sure. But you're just a girl, as he is just a boy; thrust into the hands of the powers way above your heads. There is real fear in your eyes when you speak of the potential for Harkonnens to gain power over the trading markets; real fear when you confess your dreams to him - real anger when he'd accused you of stabbing him; Real breath from your lips, upon his ear when you'd kissed his cheek earlier. Yesterday, real tease when you'd poked fun at his bedside reading choices. You are real, and you are stubbornly human. 

Giedi Prime had forced you to build layers and layers of walls around yourself; it's still quite disarming to see glimpses of the woman inside. 

"My mother's half-sister is Lady Ginaz." You say; both of you know that he knows this, but you say it anyways, fingers picking at the concrete under you. "She's sent me letters again. They were destroyed before I could read them on Giedi Prime." 

He lets you speak, listening intently. House Ginaz; another old ally of House Atreides. 

"I think... if we end up needing anything, like more fighters," You lick your lips. More fighters- the prospect is indeed chilling; House Atreides has great legions of soldiers, but you're right. If they war against House Harkonnen, it'll take everything they can find to maintain power. 

"-I could try to convince her to send all of the Swordmasters." You whisper, sighing. A beat, then you quirk your lip up so fast Paul wonders if he imagined it. "We'll have to invite her to the wedding, of course." 

Your humor is dry and hollow, but it still makes Paul crack a wry huff. "Looking forward to giving input into every aspect of the event?" He asks, feeling a freedom to poke at your shared misery - it's the least of your worries, and it's not so bad if you're in it together. 

Your smile shows nice teeth, full lips. "It's a good thing our house colors are both green." You hum, turning to him, "No decisions to make there, at least." 

He nods, "More time to decide what kind of ribbon to use for the handfasting." 

You look off towards the same hedge across the way that he finds so interesting. "Whose tradition is that, mine or yours?" You ask. He blinks away a raindrop as it slides onto his eyelashes. 

"Yours." He affirms. You nod thoughtfully, and Paul is plagued with the visions of you below him, looking up with those wide, big eyes - just across the garden to the right. He blinks away the thought. 

"I thought you were Bene Gesserit when you came to Caladan," He says, "And I knew what kind of power you could hold over me if you were." 

You look at him, a fire in your gaze. "And you're not afraid of that same power your mother holds over you?" You retort. He sighs; both of you, quick to irritate. 

"She loves me. She'll try hard to protect me, and if she knows that we dream of death, she will not let us go to Sabberon." He says. "You don't love me. If you were Bene Gesserit, and knew what path the sisterhood intended for me - for us - you wouldn't hesitate to encourage it." He admits, and feels no particular heartbreak at the concept; you barely know each other. You look similarly unaffected. 

"I don't know the path." You sigh, "But I suppose I'll be Bene Gesserit again soon." You mutter, voice imbued with regret. 

The air is chilly, and a short breeze moves a curl into his eye. He brushes it away. "I know you don't think we're doing the right thing by training with her." Paul says, unable to ignore his thoughts on the subject. "But what would you have us do instead?" 

You sigh, shaking your head. "I don't know." He watches you, how your hair - unstyled, natural- glints under the night, moving with the breeze. "But it feels like we're walking straight into a trap."

Paul's brows knit together in frustration, his jaw clenched tightly. "We don't have a choice."

"I understand that," you reply, your own frustration bubbling to the surface. "You don't have to keep saying it. But how do we know what to do if we don't even know the Reverend Mother's plans? At what point do we start causing harm just because it's what we think we're supposed to do?"

 He shakes his head, head aching. He wishes to sleep; To wake up to find it was all a hallucination - to roll over in bed, and find none of this happened at all. "All we can do is play our hand and hope to come out on top." He says stiffly. 

You are bitter, crossing your arms. "That's easy for you to say," your voice is eerily calm. "It's all means to your end. You shouldn't know anything of the Sisterhood, but you've been taught. You've had everything handed to you on a silver platter."

The accusation hangs heavy in the air between you, a silent condemnation of Paul's privileged upbringing and the stark contrast it poses to your own struggles; he knows how hard you've had it - but at the end of the day, you are still a Lady, a highborn member of society, marrying into one of the most powerful houses.

He does not know why his mother has tried to train him in ways that only sacred Sisters should know; For a moment, he wonders if you know more about his own destiny and that overhanging prophecy than you let on. One of two candidates, a voice whispers in his mind; You have more than one birthright, boy. 

The air is significantly more tense, irritated - angry. He doesn't care to continue this discussion anymore.

"I don't know why you pretend to know anything about me," his own voice is sullen, sharp. It's foolish for him to waste his time trying to convince you that what he says is right - if, in the end, you might betray him anyways, going in circles is getting him nowhere. 

"Me neither." Your voice is cold. 

There is nothing left to say; in three days, his House will leave for the Space Trade Referendum, and you will be representing your House for the final arraignment.

Paul wants to sleep - to sleep, and not dream. 

He leaves you in the gardens, surrounded in the dark. 

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That night, when Paul dreams of you once again, below the great Pine that burns and cracks above his head, there is a hiss that blows in the wind. When you keen against his hands, your chest trembling and hands on his shoulders, there is a whisper, something that you cannot hear. 

A sense of duty surrounds him as images of the planet he's never visited flash before him. A knife, glinting - a hand, pale, curling around the hilt - your own sharp gasp of pain.

Some whisper in the dredges of his vision, you are too deep in the throes of passion to stir at the sound; Paul hears it clearly, though it is not meant for him. 

It is a deeply eerie voice - playful, sinister.

"I will never let them keep what is mine, my pet." 

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follow @tremendumnotifs for updates.

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[yanderes-galore]

Make Yandere concept for Miraidon from Pokemon with a trainer darling please! :)

I played Violet and while I was originally going to have Miraidon and Koraidon separate, I felt I had the same idea for both of them so it ended up combined if that's fine?

Overprotective! Miraidon/Koraidon with Trainer! Darling

Pairing: Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Overprotective Pokemon, Violence, Clingy behavior, Fear of loss/Trauma, Brief blood mention, Dubious companionship.

I imagine the easiest way to write this is to make Miraidon/Koraidon the one that accompanies you through your whole journey.

The one that saved you from wild Pokemon... the very same one you ride across Paldea on... and the one you saved by getting it back to full power.

This Miraidon/Koraidon would be the closest to you compared to the secondary one near the end.

After all, it's been with you since the start.

You even helped it by regaining its powers with Arven.

Due to how much you help each other of course it's going to be overprotective.

Even in Low-Power/Limited Build mode it would try to protect you from the wild Pokemon in the area.

You may not take it into battle often if at all, but Miraidon/Koraidon still sees you as a trainer and friend.

Miraidon/Koraidon may even find exploring with you fun.

Climbing, gliding, swimming, etc....

It's comfortable with you on its back.

A reason for Miraidon/Koraidon clingy and overprotective behavior may be due to the fact it feels indebted to you.

You helped it, it helps you, that's your bond!

As a result Miraidon/Koraidon never wants to part from your side.

Even before it was fully recovered it would try to stand in front of you and wild Pokemon.

Miraidon/Koraidon for the most part is behaved.

It watches carefully as you fight trainers, it sits in a behaved manner as you speak to vendors.

I feel Miraidon/Koraidon attachment would grow over time during Violet/Scarlet's events.

By the end of it, where Miraidon/Koraidon is fully recovered, the obsession has set in.

It insists on carrying you everywhere.

It insists on being the first to battle.

Miraidon/Koraidon would one shot other Pokemon to impress you.

Nearly every hit is critical.

After all... you could've gotten hurt!

Miraidon/Koraidon is worried you'll get hurt like it did.

In fact it took forever for it to get back to it's full potential.

As a result Miraidon/Koraidon is overly protective of you.

It freaks out if the second Miraidon/Koraidon comes anywhere near you.

After all that's how it got hurt in the first place, yeah?

Near the second Miraidon/Koraidon yours may get possessive due to territory.

You can't get hurt! It won't let it!

Which is what makes it snappy towards other trainers and Pokemon around you....

Sometimes it even hits Pokemon too hard, making them bleed.

Sometimes it'll even bite at humans with a growl before standing in front of you.

It doesn't care what happens to anyone except you (and your friends... but even then it's more attached to you).

Miraidon/Koraidon no doubt feel it's doing you a favor by protecting you.

It's dealing with its own trauma in a way.

So obviously it has to protect you from everything!

You two are friends... companions... a Pokemon and a trainer.

Isn't this what it's supposed to do?

Who else will protect you if your own team can't?

If Miraidon/Koraidon feels you are in danger, it's quick to drag you out of it.

Even in situations where you express slight anxiety your Pokemon is set off.

Really, this obsession is it trying to return the favor.

Perhaps some sort of fate dragged you two together.

You two were meant to protect together!

Your Pokemon would do anything for you.

After all, you saved it!

So it will save you... from everything!

Even if it makes them a danger to others.

[scrapironflotilla]

Why is there not much talk about the first world in Africa

Ya know that's a good question. There's a few reasons that make the war in Africa far less prominent than the war in Europe; scale, strategic importance and colonialism, not necessarily in that order.

Let’s start with an easy one, scale. There just weren’t that many troops fighting the war there compared to the different fronts in Europe and the Middle East.  The Western and Eastern fronts packed millions of men into the trenches on either side, the Italian front had another million on each side, the Balkan theatre had another three million, the Egypt and Palestine campaign had another million, Mesopotamia was another million and the Caucasus another million.

The various European colonies in Africa were garrisoned, like most colonies of this period, by a pretty small number of total troops and an absolutely miniscule number of white, European troops. The vast majority of the soldiers fighting in these campaigns were ‘native’ troops. As an example, German East Africa, which saw the longest campaign of the war in Africa, had a population of around 7.5 million. There were around 5,000 white Germans there in total. The German army in the colony, the Schutztruppe had a strength in 1914 of about 2,700 soldiers of which only 250 where white Germans. Even counting the militia of German settler-farmers only added another 2,700 men. All of this in an area that’s three times the size of modern Germany. Total military casualties for the East Africa Campaign amounted to somewhere around the 55,000 mark (that’s killed, injured, captured and missing), fewer than British casualties on the first day of the Battle of the Somme.

The other African campaigns were even smaller in scope, with total forces on each side often numbering in the hundreds or low thousands, and were usually over by 1916. Germany knew they’d likely lose their colonies, but hoped to recoup the loss in the post-war settlement when (if) they won. They colonies in Africa just weren’t vital to Germany, which brings us to our next point, strategic importance.  

Germany’s geographic position meant that as soon as war was declared they were essentially cut off from their colonies (although there was a failed attempt to resupply the Schutztruppe in East Africa by airship in 1917 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LZ_104_(L_59) ). The British and French navies dominated the seas and there was little Germany could do. But, by the same token, the loss of these colonies wasn’t a big blow to the German war effort. Germany’s strength was in Europe, and most of its basic needs could be met from resources within Germany or the territories it conquered. Beating a few thousand German troops in East Africa wasn’t going to bring down the German government or make the German army collapse. There were local and imperial reasons to wage these campaigns, and wage them the British, French, Portuguese and Belgians did. But they were never the main, or even a secondary effort, they were very much an afterthought. And this brings us neatly to the last point, colonialism.

Now, the above refers to military numbers and casualties, and as usual in war, it’s civilians who actually suffer the most. Taking the East Africa Campaign again. Each of the armies fighting there conscripted huge numbers of ‘porters’, local civilians who carried the equipment and supplies. One historian assessed the British effort as “recruiting” 1 million civilian porters. 95,000 of them died during the war. A further 15,000 porters in Belgian service died, 7,000 porters in German service died as did an unknown number of civilian porters in Portuguese service, but it’s likely in the low tens of thousands. An official from the British Colonial Office wrote that the East African campaign had not become a scandal only "... because the people who suffered most were the carriers - and after all, who cares about native carriers?"

The war the European armies fought in Africa was mobile, and far from stable and secure supply lines. As such, the armies often “lived off the land”, which is a nice way of saying they looted and pillaged everything in their path to keep themselves fed and supplied. The German army was probably more ruthless in its pillaging, but that’s largely because they were cut off from any support base and waging a guerilla war. Looting like this had dire consequences for locals and famine spread in the war’s wake. Modern estimates are in the range of 750,000 civilian deaths in Africa from the war, although this is probably a conservative count. About half of these deaths, some 350,000, were in German East Africa. Ludwig Deppe, a German doctor who participated in the East Africa Campaign compared the devastation caused by German forces:

“Behind us we leave destroyed fields, ransacked magazines and for the immediate future, starvation. We are no longer agents of culture, our track is marked by death, plundering and evacuated villages, just like the progress of our own enemies in the Thirty Years War.”

None of the war in Africa painted the European empires in a particularly flattering light and it was pretty easy for them to if not cover it up, at least to deflect attention. The butchery in Europe was on a different scale and much closer to home. The Western Front came to dominate memory of the war for the basic reason that it was in France and Belgium that most of the troops fought and died, and it was on the Western Front that Germany was defeated. It was hard enough to fit sideshows like Italy, Salonika and even Palestine into a narrative of the war, let alone the colonial campaigns in Africa.

[dairy-farmer]

Ok so those Omegaverse Beta!Tim asks: amazing, sensational, beautiful! However! Consider: what is Betas have a significantly weaker sense of smell, especially related to pheromones, as compared to Alphas and Omegas? A big part of scenting and pheromones and stuff, at least with As and Os, is about declaring someone 'yours', either in the aggressive/protective way of an Alpha or the loving/affectionate way of an Omega. But also, parents scent their children and friends will scent each other, so carrying someone else's scent isn't inherently a big deal... Unless certain other pheromones or emotions are layered with the personal scent.

[Tim (Beta) Bruce & Damian(Alpha), Dick & Jason (I'm undecided on whether both, neither, or only one of them is an Omega)] Tim, as a Beta, can identify personal scents - This is Jason's favorite couch, Damian was here recently, this is Cass's shirt, ect - but can't really tell people emotional state or health or anything based solely on scent: he, like most of the population, relies on body language an expressions for most of that stuff. He can't smell an approaching heat or rut, can't tell if someone is upset just by scent... And also can't tell if someone's placed a scent claim on him. Tim thinks the rest of the bats are just scenting him like they would any of their friends with the rest of the family, but to other Alphas and Omegas it's a clear declaration of 'Mine, Don't touch!'.

His close friends Bart and Kon can't tell either - one is another beta and the other is half alien and didn't get a secondary gender or any of the stuff associated with- and he's not really close enough with anyone else for them to bring it up: since that kind of scenting and posturing is usually reserved among the As and Os who can smell it, no one really thinks to mention it for the same reason that people don't usually go around pointing out that other people are wearing hats: it's just a thing and whether someone is or isn't generally doesn't warrant comment. And the Bat boys don't bring it up either because Tim is unaware of any of their interest. Maybe they are worried about public perception (probably not), or they're worried about scaring Tim off (he still has family issues thanks to his parents), or maybe even they are all trying to subtly get Tim to make the first move because they're worried about seriously hurting each other if they get into some kind of territorial fight over him.

But then! A party, a gala, a big business gathering, whatever. Some Alpha (maybe a known acquaintance, maybe someone new) is interested in Tim and releasing pheromones and scent to warn off others. Tim is clueless, just like he is when the Bats do it. The rest of the Bats, spread around the room, seething in fury: Dick's smile is so stiff while watching Tim and his 'friend' that even the air had socialites he's talking with notice, Damian accidentally broke a glass in his hand and if he had heat vision the other Alpha would be a smoldering pile of ashes, Jason is off to the side hiding -like he always does at these annoying galas and things- with his fist clenched so tight he's drawing blood, and Bruce is fighting so so hard to keep the rage and possessiveness from leaking into his scent And Tim. Doesn't. Notice.

And then the Alpha puts a possessive hand on Tim's waist and leans down to try and kiss his neck.

Later, no one will be able to say for sure who moved first or what, if any, words were said. All that anyone will be able to say for certain is that someone broke the random Alpha's nose and threw him into the hors d'oeuvres table, and Tim was quickly surrounded by his family before just as quickly being spirited out of the party.

Whatever happened and whatever reason they had for not officially claiming/mating Tim, the Bats have all come to the unanimous decision to fuck it and just all fuck Tim: it's just better all around if they make it official instead of letting Tim think he was available to others and the specifics can be worked out later. For now though, Tim is being held in Bruce's lap with his arms secured behind his back with his own dress shirt, while Jason and Damian are taking turns attacking his mouth and neck with bites and kisses, and Dick does things with his mouth that should probably be illegal (trans or cis Tim, both are good🤤).

Maybe there is a bit of aggression and snapping going on while they try to figure out the order in which they get to fuck Tim (oldest to youngest? youngest to oldest? Smallest cock to the biggest, so he gets when open slower??). If one of the boys is an Omega, they take the chance while the Alphas are arguing to give their sweet, confused, and painfully aroused Timmy some nice, penetrative, relief. If both Dick and Jason are Omegas, Dick sits up at Tim's head and gently holds his -now freed from his shirt- hands down, while Jason carefully works his way into Tim, who is so confused and apprehensive -he has no idea what brought this behavior on- but also so keyed up). Tim's brow is cutely pinched while he whines and wiggles a bit at the sensation of being filled by one of his brothers (maybe he's fucked before, maybe it's been a while, maybe he never got around to it. But there's something so different about it being one of his fellow Bats.) Dick leave down to kiss away that pinch between his eyebrows, while Jason fucks him firmly but with tender care and mutters a string of praise occasionally interspersed with absolute filth.

I don't really have any more specifics in mind for who goes next or what, aside from Dick gently coaxing Tim to return the favor and suck his cock, and maybe Bruce and Damian eventually dp-ing Tim (how's it feel to have both of the blood Waynes filling you so full -too full!- alternating thrusts and running their hands possessively over every inch of you?) Maybe if Tim is lucky, after a few days of marathon sex and recovery, someone might explain to him what the fuck brought all this on?

-❤️🦇

😍😍😍😍😍!!!!!!!!!!!

tim being so unaware of how his family has been scenting him so possessively for years and he was one of the ONLY people who didn't know because he couldn't smell it!!!😍😍😍😍 then the moment anyone makes a move on him all hell breaks loose and so they decide to make it VERY clear to tim who he is to them, much to his great confusion <33

[honeycreammilkshake]

Reading your anons and your answers I think the problem with those fans is that they only accept a character if it's involved with satoru.

Like, apparently you are not allowed to like Sukuna anymore nor like both yuji and sukuna, but you were only allowed to like AND analyze Sukuna when he was fighting Satoru loool

I'm sorry but Sukuna is more than that, sukuna doesn't need THAT fight to be a character in his own, Sukuna also kept analyzing and having cool moments with other characters, just because your favorite character was dead doesn't mean other things stopped existing. This is one of those cases where fans keep thinking the manga is about some secondary character

hi, anon. thank you so much for this ask. i'm going to follow this up by making an unnecessarily long and ranty post nobody's going to bother to read, but i felt the overwhelming need to go in-depth for this anyways. apologies for the length of this.

to start off, i'm going to point out something that will probably get me a lot of hate or at least criticism from gojo fanatics, but i think it should be said for all those out there who keep twisting jkk to fit their own problematic concept of morals.

so we all know sukuna is the big bad of jjk. he's the main antagonist, the evil cannibal monster, a god of chaos and apathy and murder. i'm not here to argue against this, though. it's been clear from the beginning sukuna is a true villain in all of his actions and beliefs. however, we really need to look at the contexts behind how he became such a monster and consider if he's actually the most "evil" sorcerer/curse in the jujutsu world or not.

i'm going to address the underlying problem with the pro-gojo/anti-sukuna fans who twist the story to suit their own views first.

so gojo was born with a tremendous amount of power, so much that he's been branded the strongest jujutsu sorcerer of the modern age. he literally shifted the flow of cursed energy and from the start was set apart from others. it's truly terrifying how much power he has...

so it's a good thing he's a real sweet and caring guy, right?

if only.

gojo is irredeemably self-absorbed, unhealthily egotistical, obsessed with his own abilities, demeaning and insulting to others, brutal to his students and dismissive of their safety, and more than willing to commit mass murder.

when fighting with jogo, for example, he doesn't seem bothered at all by the massacre of innocent people during their battle, and is even willing to sacrifice bystanders all in the name of winning.

he's displayed this same kind of general apathy for the lives of others in his past as well.

in his past arc, it was geto who saved gojo from becoming an actual villain and instead managed to set gojo on the path of becoming the slightly less evil antihero he is today. however, after riko's death, the experience turned both of them on each other as they settled on opposite sides of "good vs evil."

without geto there to guide him, though, gojo would have easily lost his way and turned evil .... so where was a person like that for sukuna?

the jujutsu world is extremely heartless and obsessed with strength. the jujutsu higher-ups were willing to kill yuuji - an innocent teenager who just happened to become dangerously involved with the world of curses and the host of sukuna - as well as risk the health and safety of countless others, sorcerers and normal people alike. the whole jujutsu world is full of corruption and cold, cruel people.

but this is just in the modern world - during the golden age of jujutsu, in the heian era, conditions were even harsher and crueler than they are now. during this time, existence for regular people in japan was demanding, quality of life was very low, and so many died of sickness and starvation. the amount of curses that arose from all this suffering was immense and required the extreme powers of sorcerers to balance it out.

this is the context of sukuna's birth. he came into this world as a child of a starving mother and he himself would have starved if he didn't consume his twin in the womb.

during his conversation with kashimo, who asks if sukuna was born with that much power or if he gained it throughout his life, sukuna himself seems to not know. all he can say is... he was an unwanted wretch.

societal demands and religious fights back then would have led to an overwhelming stigma and dehumanization of anything that people feared or didn't understand... which probably means that sukuna, who was able to be born from the act of eating his own unborn twin, was seen as monstrous from the day of his birth on. and if he was indeed born with such strength and a body merged with that of his twin's, or at least the compacity to become that, he was also most likely villainized for his nature as well.

where gojo was more embraced and highly coveted by the jujutsu world, the world sukuna was born into most likely shunned him and led him to adapt the kind of mindset he has now.

sukuna sees strength as the only means of survival, rising above the cruelty shown to him to become the cruelest himself. this philosophy, which a lot of people at this time believed in - especially in the jujutsu world - shows us that sukuna probably saw his own really option to endure was to become a monster. those at the top are above all the weak feelings and suffering of the ones beneath, after all, or so he believes.

and it seems like so many of the strongest sorcerers still believe in that concept as well. both yorozu and gojo thought they could reach sukuna by challenging him, but in the end... only yuuji ever connected with the king of curses.

(yes i will fit sukuita in here... even if you don't ship them romantically, it's an undeniable fact that their relationship is much more complex than it seems and that yuuji does in fact care for the very monster he's supposed to destroy.)

when sukuna's dying in chapter 268, yuuji makes it clear that he's willing to serve the kind of caring, understanding role in sukuna's life that was most likely never given to him.

instead of dehumanizing sukuna, yuuji actually accepts that sukuna turned out to be the monster he is and says it was all a matter of chance how they became like this.

this a level of empathy, intimacy, and compassion that someone like gojo (and pretty much the vast majority of jjk characters) could never show. sukuna himself seems at a loss for words for this unbelievably caring treatment from yuuji - he's even surprised enough to use the brat's full name.

and i dislike that fans are starting to twist this interaction between them to make it fit their own views of sukuna and gojo.

look, i like gojo objectively. he's a fine enough character and serves an important role in jjk. i'm not against him or his fans, and i certainly don't want to hurt or make light of other people's feelings towards him. however, i do want to point something out that some fans should really know better. so many antis are against us sukuita shippers and/or sukuna fans and their main argument, over and over again, is how evil and monstrous sukuna is and that gojo is obviously better in every way. they claim that because gojo is on the side of good, it means sukuna is the worst in terms of morals (when villains like kenjaku are arguably just as terrible if not more so but dismissed so easily) we are delusional or wrong for sympathizing with sukuna.

so i would like to say to these people... please stop using these pallid, baseless arguments against us sukuna lovers because they're just so inaccurate and keep misunderstanding the whole story. it's more than okay to have your own headcanons and depictions of a fictional character, whether they're sukuna or gojo or any of the others - but do not force that depiction on others and do not force your interpretation of the source material on us just to appease your own opinions.

please be more respectful to others, please keep your own dislikes to yourself instead of lashing out at other fans you could instead just avoid, and please stop being so mean to gege. whether or not he makes gojo return should not be a reason to spread such hate about him. it's disrespectful towards both him and all writers who work so hard to make the content you treat so harshly.

thank you.

[thelampisaflashlight]

A dewdrop of a headcanon for you all this evening, featuring, well, Dewdrop. Let's go.

So Dew is a multi ghoul, it's a lesser known fact, but he's got a little quintessence and air mixed into his bloodline, which he inherited from his parents; His mother was fire/air, with fire being her dominant element, and his father was water/quintessence, with water being his dominant element.

Biologically speaking, he had a higher chance of becoming a water ghoul than a fire ghoul, but even if he'd come out as a hybrid -having two dominant traits- it would have been less of a surprise than little baby Dew deciding it was all or nothing.

How this happened, even his parents are unsure, but apparently it has nothing to do with the balance between his dominant elements, and everything to do with the melding of his secondary ones.

Quintessence and air mingle incredibly well, and when they come together into one being, they are treated like a singular element, meaning Dew's make-up shakes out into something more like; 1/4 fire, 1/4 water, and 1/2 evenly mixed quintessence and air.

But it gets even weirder, because due to the melding of his secondary elements, there's a barrier between his water and fire sides, which, in turn, prevents them from fighting each other.

And the magic that passes through that barrier and is transformed, usually into air, which in turn feeds the barrier; In trying to destroy each other, Dew's elements actually keep him physically stable.

So what can he do with his secondary elements?

Truth be told; Even Dew isn't sure.

Unlike his dominant elements, he can't call upon his secondary elements at will, they act as more... passive effects.

His air magic keeps his steps light, but he just thinks he's exceptionally stealthy, and the healing effects of his quintessence only extend to himself.

That's it, that's the whole thought.

[maybe-boys-do-love]

Someone probs wrote about this before, but it’s absolutely bonkers how Aof’s Bad Buddies and Our Skyy crossover with ATOTS put men’s bisexual/pansexual experiences in conversation with gay experiences.

You get Pran and Phupha and even Tian all existing to some extent as gay characters—and I don’t say that because anyone specifically uses that label (only Tian really goes near there). In fact, I don’t even say that because of the gender they’re attracted to! There’s more to their gayness than that. They’re gay characters because all three of those characters exhibit major signs we associate with effeminacy and, more importantly, its early suppression by others, which leads to the shameful self-repression we see in their present day incarnations. They all have softer sides—music, art, gentleness—that they tuck away privately, and they each have clear examples throughout their stories of people telling them that they need to eliminate or at least hide that part of themselves. And these interests and expressions are not just subtext about sexuality here, they are specific markers we culturally expect to see alongside gayness. And the suppression, or lack there of, of those effeminate qualities is a significant gay milestone.

Pat doesn’t have that experience, though, which I think is genius from a writing and queer theory perspective. The thing about the LGBTQIA+ grouping is that it’s a very potent political grouping, but the experiences of each letter within that acronym are distinct, and often it’s precarious to bring up the differences. However, with Pat’s bisexual characterization, we see how it can be productive. Because Pat’s embodiment, interests, and sexuality contained more aspects that were socially acceptable, he did not experience the same type of suppression as Pran, Tian, and Phupha did early on. He never needed to develop coping mechanisms that involved self-denial. Therefore, he’s comfortable being expressive with his more feminine side and his affections. He doesn’t have the same sense that his sweetness puts him at risk of anything. This openness provides a model for Pran in Bad Buddies and Phupha in ATOTS to explore releasing some of their self-control, anxiety, and shame to share the sentimental parts of themselves (Tian’s whole arc in ATOTS is about coming to terms with this more feminine heart inside of him—RIP Torfun 😢).

I think one of the lessons we’re supposed to glean from Pat is that any person, queer or not, could be that open and comfortable with the full spectrum of gender expression, from fist-fighting to hugging your nong nao doll over a crush, if they were given full support by their fams. Since that perfect world doesn’t quite exist, this is a really unique secondary message we get about the potential of reaching across the divides and growing from other groups within the LGBT acronym. Of course, no character is a stand-in for an entire group. Not all bisexual and pansexual folks escape childhood without suppression of their gendered ways of expressing themselves, and they have unique societal and internal challenges that come with their sexuality. But it’s okay to acknowledge, as Bad Buddy and ATOTS do, that many (but not all of course) exclusively gay men have interests and gendered styles of expressing themselves evident earlier in their lives that make them a target for shit, which leads to a specific loneliness-inducing style of relating to themselves and others. P’Aof and his team, instead of comparing those experiences with bitterness (which is what I’ve often felt inclined to do in the past tbh) asks what possibilities exist when these people can understand one another. It’s also somewhat symbolic of the possibilities that occur when the BL trope of ‘gay only for you’ is, not put in contest with lgbtq media, but instead synthesized—which is what P’ Aof has explicitly aimed to do for his whole career.

[imogenkol]

With each new leak and crumb of information we get about season 2 of Andor, the more I become equal parts excited and terrified for Bix.

It looks like they might be going in a darker direction for her, which makes sense given the horrifying torture she endured and the losses she suffered. Bix must feel so lost in the year before the season opens, plus she has a lot of anger and needs to put it somewhere.

“If I’m giving up everything… I wanna win.”

Oof. That line has been echoing in my head for the past day or so. Bix is all in. While I do think she’s a rebel at heart, I believe that “the cause” is secondary to her. She’s fighting for her now — for her home and her community, a place she longs to return to, but deep down knows it will never be the same, not for her at least… Bix is fighting for revenge. I believe that will be her purpose and driving force this season.

My deepest fear for her is becoming an accessory to Cassian. Becoming a prop for his losses and pain. I’ve said it before, but I really don’t think a rekindled romance between the two of them would serve either of their stories in any way.

Bix needs to find her sense of self again, who she is apart from Cassian. Apart from Ferrix, even. I want her to journey inwards to the darkest depths of her soul — to give in to the urges that scare her. I want her to frighten those around her, not because they’re afraid for her, but because they’re afraid of her. No one is sure what she’s willing to do anymore. She’s not even sure. And then I want her to come out of the other side of that and be a steadfast force of nature.

It would not serve her to move backwards. To accept Cassian as a partner again after the numerous times he has disappointed her, broken her trust, broken her heart. I feel like she’s learned her lesson too many times, especially so after the corpo incident. I do want to see them rebuild that trust and affection they have for each other, but with an unspoken understanding that they will never be romantic again.

The worst thing I feel like they could do to Bix is have her die for Cassian. That would just take so much away from her story. She has already suffered so much for him that to have her die as a means to further his own journey would really just be so disrespectful to such an interesting character.

Cassian as well I feel would not benefit from a rekindled romance. He is still finding his way in the galaxy. Diego Luna even said that Cassian starts the season still conflicted. Once his commitment to the cause is cemented, there won’t be much left of himself to give and Bix deserves so much more than that. It would be disappointing and unnecessary to see a weak excuse for a relationship between them where neither is able or willing to give it their all until it eventually fizzles out one final time — or until god forbid Bix dies.

Vel and Cinta already exist to explore that type of dynamic, it would feel a little redundant and possibly even take away from the complexities of their relationship (that we’ve barely scratched the surface of) if there were two similar dynamics happening parallel to each other on screen.

I would love to see Bix and Cassian be close again. There’s a lot of potential to create a unique and fascinating dynamic between them considering all their history, but it would be so refreshing to see a more familial type of bond form as opposed to a romantic one, and to see how these characters navigate that new dynamic.

Also while Bix’s likely death would and should affect Cassian, I truly hope that if she does go out… she goes out fighting for her own cause.

[pointed-beetle]

Three's a Crowd (Stu Macher x Murderer!Male Reader x Billy Loomis) Part 2!!!

Part One

Word Count: 1961

T/W, C/W: Very very brief mentioning of readers drugging in the previous part, Stu being awfully promiscuous for one of my fics on this page

Summary: After waking up many hours later and finding yourself in a strangely familiar house you come to the conclusion that maybe you and Stu aren't that different after all. Announcement: I have a secondary blog with non x reader fics and my own personal works! Who knows maybe I'll post on it more often >:)c? Maybe there's something already there for you.

Your head was pounding when you came to, quickly finding that opening your eyes was a mistake as your vision spun. Slowly inhaling you try to gain a sense of your surroundings, keeping your eyes clenched closed. Gradually the feeling of the couch underneath becomes a more solid concept, the texture of the fibres, the throw pillow uncomfortably shoved under your head.

You were on a couch.

You were… On a couch?

You squint into the pale light, relieved that your vision had finally found its purchase as you can get a good look at where you were.

The inside was quaint, the room you found yourself in was decorated in a simple patterned wallpaper, a matching loveseat sat across from a coffee table oddly decorated with mallards, your brows furrowing. Timidly you sit up, planting your hands into the cushions as you sway, clearly still being affected by your spiked beverage.

A plate clicks slowly against a counter behind you, and you can’t gain the courage to turn around, staring out the window. You weren’t in any position to fight, especially if it was one of the two men that took you from the party.

“Oh you weren’t supposed to wake up yet.” Stu’s laugh is nervous as he glances around the room, as if you were two estranged friends that hadn’t seen each other in awhile.

You turn on the couch, looking at the rest of the room before finally landing on Stu, rage slowly growing in you as you start to stand, only momentarily needing support from the couch to stand on your own. Your knuckles were white as you clench your fists, glaring at Stu. You had backed yourself up partially, calves meeting the edge of the short table in front of the couch.

“Well you’re recovering well! Has this happened before?” His smile is bright and mocking, he picks a grape up from the plate he set down, placing it in his mouth as he doesn’t look away from you.

“Where’s the other one?” You snap, eyes quickly darting around the room, only leaving Stu’s form for a few seconds at a time.

“His name is Billy, you dumb creature, and Billy is out with his lovely girlfriend Sidney getting you some medicine to work through your hangover when you wake up because you passed out at the party.” His eye brows raise, a smaller yet still as smug smile sits on his face as he continues to eat.

“I know what his fucking name is.” You hiss, hands searching your person as you nervously slide them into your pockets, a sinking feeling in your stomach as the familiar wooden handle doesn’t meet with your fingertips.

Empty.

Stu chuckles as he watches your hands, cocking his head to the side as he watches a fraction of panic flash onto your face. You calm down much faster upon the realisation you had nothing to fight with, strength or weapons. You were completely under their thumb and all you could do was squirm.

“How long has it been?” Your tone is low, as if Stu was a wild animal you were trying to hush.

He hums in contemplation as he rocks on his heels, looking out the windows to his right as he thinks.

“Five hours?”

Slowly you nod, reaching up to anxiously run your fingers through your hair, scrubbing at your scalp as you try to wrack your thoughts but nothing was coming easy, thoughts jumbled together or less important ones became too loud to focus on what to do next. What were you going to do? Were they holding you here, and were you allowed to just leave? Where was your knife?

You breathe, calming your uncharacteristically shocked nervous system to rest as you peel your eyes away from Stu long enough to get a better look at what living you were in, maybe you had been in this house before during a party. Glancing down the hall, and staring at a particular closet door it hits you where you are, a sudden rush of adrenaline washing over you. You had been inside the home before, just not with permission.

“I assume this is… Sideny’s home? Doesn’t she still live with her father?” Your eyes snap back to Stu, sharply inhaling at how he made his way to the back of the couch you were laying on, the plate of grapes discarded on the counter top.

“Her father is on a trip right now, awfully convenient wouldn’t you say? Makes it easier to walk around and explore without having to avoid someone else huh?” His eyes shine with a knowing look that only fills you with more anger. He had no idea what he was talking about, sporting a cadence like he was talking to someone he knew, about something he knew.

Your silence tells Stu he overstepped, and he slinks back to his plate of grapes, leaning his hip into the counter as he sheepishly looks out the windows again, taking small bites out of a grape.

“We won’t hurt you. At least I won’t, Billy won’t make such a promise.” He’s quick to begin, his words jumbling together, “We know, it all makes sense now. Your bitchiness, why you were so quick to leave Tatum!” He’s excited, and he quickly starts to approach the back of the couch once more, gripping onto the frame tightly as he looks over your body.

“We became competition! You knew all this time because you were in the know, man! I couldn’t understand what your fucking deal was but when Billy opened that little blade of yours?” He chuckles, leaning forward and causing the couch to creak under his weight, “How did you know about us then? About Ghostface?”

You wet your lips, your eyes locked with Stu’s as he talks and asks questions and not giving you any time to answer. His excitement stirred something in the pits of your stomach, and your swallow went down a little easier than all the other times.

“The phone calls,” You’re timid to start, your stomach fluttering in excitement, “I only listened to one, but the way you talk is so unique.”

Stu lights up, climbing over the couch and fully passing the invisible threshold that you had set, his hands gripping onto your shoulders, his hands trembling with profound happiness. You explain everything, how you put things together, how easy it was to figure out because you knew exactly what to look for in them, and how avoiding them was your best bet in case your victims overlapped. It was easier to act like enemies than become quick suspects by hanging around them.

Stu cups your face in his hands, his callouses brushing against your skin and for a moment you felt like a rat under a snake's gaze. The look in his eyes was primal, it wasn’t anything that you had seen him sport before, you didn’t really know Stu but you knew for a fact this was a different side of him, something unhinged and ready to jump out at whatever he could.

He walks forward, giving you no choice but to fall back on the coffee table, knocking books off onto the floor as he hovers over you, leaning down so close that you are breathing the same air.

“Billy’s finally going to understand when he hears all of this, he just wouldn’t get it, what I saw in you was exactly what I wanted and now that it’s been confirmed!!”

This was it, the moment you realised you were being swallowed whole by the snake, having no time to run and only given a moment to squirm before you’re crushed to death.

This is what staring down the jaws of death felt like, what all your victims saw before you claimed their lives for your own. Your lip trembles and all you can do is timidly stare at Stu’s chest as he exposits, trapping you against the table as he excitedly tells you how long he was waiting for you, wanting and craving just to see you in a different light.

The spotlight he aimed at you was hot and overwhelming, you had never been the centre of attention, happily being a well known cold introvert that only went to parties if it was promised one of your friends would be there. This was different than what you were used to, none of your friends had this type of energy, you never even in passing met someone with this much intrigue in you.

You revelled in it, allowed Stu to shower you in his affectionate words, a warmth blossoming throughout your body as he became more intimate, pushing further and further with each nod you provided him.

This is exactly what you wanted, what you were looking for in the things that you did, it was the same feeling you got when your crimes were on the news and the reporters talking about you like some kind of sick bedtime story. This excitement is what you craved.

Stu would be glad to share it with you.

Stu is quick to pull away from you and pull you up from the table when laughter echoes from the top of the stairs. He cleans up the books, and has you settle on the couch, making his way back to the counter, still glowing with unsatiated need as he waves at the two people that enter the room.

Billy is surprised to see you sitting on the couch, looking so calm, and greeting Sidney with a warmth he didn’t expect as she approached you with medicine and a drink. He looks over at Stu, who just gives him his usual large smile, though something lingered, and he knew exactly what it was about, and suddenly he was irritated that Sidney was here, that he hadn’t been here to see the moment that you cracked.

He stands next to Stu, partaking in his plate of grapes as they watch you talk with Sidney.

“They said you passed out at the party, with the way Tatum talked about you it was surprising to hear. Someone so responsible getting black out drunk like that.”

You smile at her, fingers brushing against hers as you take everything from her, a soft thanks escaping her as you let her finish talking about how surprised she was to hear about the news of you. She almost seemed worried, Tatum must’ve talked about you far more than you thought, and in a better light than you assumed she was capable of.

“Unfortunately, one of my more rowdy friends had managed to talk me into it, and I allowed myself to get carried away, thankfully Stu and Billy had been there to help me, otherwise I would’ve sat in my car and probably fell asleep.”

She casts an affectionate smile towards her boyfriend, surprised by his act of kindness though not scolding him for acting uncharacteristically.

Stu nudges Billy, chuckling as Sidney continues to talk with you, asking you how you enjoyed the party and who was there. “They were pissed when they woke up… I thought if I got too close they’d clock me even while still woozy.”

Billy laughs softly, glancing out the window as the sun starts shining through the windows and lighting up the living room, a glint of something catching your eye as you glance away from Sidney, spotting your knife to the side of her TV set.

It was in arms reach this whole time and you hadn’t allowed yourself to look away from Stu the whole time.

How well would this have gone if you had noticed?

Who’s blood would be staining the hardwood floor just under their feet?

[minnaci]

contents: miguel o'hara x gn!reader, both reader and miguel have anger issues but are working through them, reader hurts miguel and is hurt by miguel (the contents of the fight is not specified), hopeful ending

or, you and miguel fight. it's not all bad.

you don't know how the argument started— you think it was something small. maybe miguel hadn't cleaned the dishes like he said he would. maybe you hadn't taken out the trash. maybe it was both. (it was both.)

it's a far cry from your fight now.

miguel is a force of nature. his anger blankets the skies, rumbling forth from his chest and striking the ground in bright-hot flashes. he rages against you, and his volume increases, drowning out the warning sirens in your mind.

you're not much better— a storm of your own. you give as good as you get, but there's nothing good about the way you slash at him, words sharper than knives. there's nothing good about the way he stabs back. hell hath no fury like yours— not when you're both like this. not when your every cell is soaked in ungodly wrath. not when you claw at each other with your words, vision hazy red, and you aim to kill.

it's you who deals the final blow, and yet it's still you who falls first. you don't remember what you said— something cruel, something awful, something, anything, to make him stop— but the expression on his face crushes your ribcage, leaving your heart trembling and vulnerable at his fingertips. your anger snuffs out, all at once, doused by the consequences of your wrath— the man you love, crushed under your heel. you, not much better.

"miguel, i didn't mean it," you say, desperate. "i was mad, i'm sorry, i didn't—"

miguel takes a deep breath— the kind that your couples therapist had taught you about. breathe in. hold. breathe out. hold. the world holds its breath alongside him.

"i know," he says. "i know you didn't. i didn't mean it either."

your own wounds are secondary when he looks like that. "i— i know."

"i'm going to take a walk," he says. in your mind's eye, you see his notebook from therapy. the steps for calming down are written in neat, careful handwriting. step 1: breathe. step 2: remove yourself from the situation.

you nod.

"you can join, if you want." he says. "i know you don't like being alone after fights."

you're not good at being alone, generally, but it's even worse after you hurt each other. it makes you guilty. it makes you anxious. when you're left alone, you turn into a desperate, crawling creature— the kind that people step on out of disgust. so, miguel's gesture is kind. it makes you want to cry. he's still mad— you see it in tense of his shoulders, the clench of his jaw— but he offers his hand to you, gentle. an olive branch.

you take it, and he tugs you closer, tucks you under his arm.

"thank you," you say. "i'm sorry."

"i'm sorry, too," he says. "we can talk about it."

"we can," you agree. "we will."

"later," he says. "we're going on a walk now."

"yes." it will be a silent walk, but you'll take comfort in his steady, solid frame by your side. you hope he takes the same comfort in you. he's told you before that holding you helps him calm down. it reminds him of the love you share.

he opens the door, and you step through it together.

[panlight]

What do you think were Esme’s and Carlisle’s thoughts on Bree? The moment they saw her and the moment she died (again)

The thing about Bree is that she originally just existed to give Bella a "wow is that what I'm going to be like as a newborn?" moment. The chapter with Bree is literally titled, "Mirror," it's very on the nose. (And, lol, no Bella, don't worry about it.)

So for the purposes of the story, what Carlisle and Esme think about it . . . doesn't super matter. I mean it matters to us, those who care about the secondary characters, it matters to fic writers. But in terms of Bella's story it's like whatever. SM wrote Bree originally as this walk-on, throw-away character . . . but I think the Bree Tanner book demonstrates that Bree did get to SM a little, too. SM's characters quickly put her out of their minds because they had to get to the Forever/Breaking Dawn stuff that had nothing to do with Bree, but SM couldn't get Bree out of her own head and wrote the novella.

If the story actually gave Esme and Carlisle room to have a real reaction to this, a real opinion, I think they'd be devastated. Obviously they didn't know Bree very long, but all of their 'children' were essentially strangers at one point or another. Bree's story could have been more like Alice's or Jasper's, adopted into the coven. I believe them that they were prepared to "take responsibility" for Bree and teach her. I think they saw a kid who was a victim of Victoria's, a victim of circumstance, a kid who was scared and didn't want to fight.

But I think they also knew that to push the Volturi any more would risk their established family. It was a fine line to try and advocate for Bree while not antagonizing the Volturi. Bella's still human which isn't great, and they had just fought side-by-side with "werewolves," which would also put them on thin ice if the Volturi knew. Edward saw Aro's thoughts about Alice and Edward in the Volturi; all they need is an excuse to destroy the rest of the coven (arguably Bella still being human is as good of an excuse as any, but Renesmee needs to happen so . . .). I've seen fic propose that Jasper also influenced them with his gift, keeping them from fighting harder for Bree. Could be! I don't know if that's necessary, I think as loving as Esme is, she wouldn't put the safety of this random girl over the safety of their family. They did what they could and probably feel horrible and guilty that it didn't work out. They probably have discussions about whether they should have said more, tried more, risked more. And then they try and comfort each other with the idea that this poor girl's life was over the minute Victoria bit her; if she didn't die in the fight, the Volturi would have killed her anyway given the laws against newborn armies.

This could all be going on behind the scenes, I guess, but it's not the impression I get with the head-first dive into wedding planning. But yeah I think they were sincere in their offer and they grieve what-might-have been, but they were between a rock and a hard place with the Volturi there looking for any excuse to kill them.

[picturejasper20]

Danny Phantom Episode Guide

For newbies or anyone who wants to use it

Danny Phantom is a semi episodic animated series from the early 2000's. This means that there isn't much continuity in between and there are ideas that don't get explored more than one episode. Having that in mind, i'm going to highlight what i think are the ¨key¨ episodes from the show related to major plot points and character arcs like this.

I would still suggest watching all the episodes to have an overall idea of the characters, world and lore to interact with the fandom.

Season 1

1)"Mystery Meat": Introduction to the premise, world and characters. Introduction to Lunch Lady. Start with this one. 2)"Parental Bonding": Introduction to overshadowing, exploration of Sam's character and her relationship with Danny. Introduction to Princess Dorathea. Exploration of Paulina's character. 3) "One of a Kind": Introduction to Skulker, one of the recurrent villains of the show. Danny episode (?) 4) "Attack of the Killer Garage Sale": Danny and, in part, Sam development episode. Introduction to recurrent villain Nicolai Technus. Exploration of Danny's school classmates. 5) "Splitting Images": Introduction to Sidney Poindexter, secondary ghost character. Danny centric episode. Hints that Danny has a evil/ mischievous side (?) 6) "What You Want": Tucker centric episode. Introduction to the ghost catcher and the idea of how Danny can be separated from his ghost half. Danny gets ectoblast powers. Introduction to Desiree character. 7) "Bitter Reunions" Introduction to Vlad Masters/Plasmius as main villain of the show. Exploration of Danny's parents past and their connection to Vlad. The ¨plot¨ starts to kick from this episode. 8) "Prisoners of Love": Introduction to the Ghost Zone, the dimension where ghosts are. Jack and Maddie episode. Introduction to Walker as antagonist. 9) "My Brother's Keeper": Danny and Jazz episode. Jazz finds out that Danny is half-ghost/ is Phantom. Introduction to Penelope Spectra. 10) "Shades of Gray": Valerie Gray episode. Valerie becomes a major semi-antagonist to Danny and recurrent character from this point on. Introduction to Cujo the dog. Introduction to the idea of Danny trying to help ghosts instead of fighting them in some episodes. 11) "Fanning the Flames": Exploration of Danny and Sam's feelings for each other. Introduction to Ember McLain as antagonist. 12) "Teacher of the Year": Exploration of Mr.Lancer, Danny's teacher as character. Technus returns as antagonist. 13) "Fright Night": Introduction to the Fright Night character, connected to major future plot point. Danny and Dash Baxter centric episode. Halloween episode. 14) "13": Introduction to Johnny 13 and Kitty characters. Danny and Jazz centric episode. 15) "Public Enemies": Walker returns as antagonist, takes over the town and turns the city against Danny (Phantom). Introduction to Wolf character, who becomes of the first Danny's ghost allies. 16) "Lucky in Love": Exploration Casper High popular kids students, mainly Paulina. Johnny 13 and Kitty as antagonists. 17) "Maternal Instinct": Vlad's villain arc- Danny and Maddie episode. Maddie finds out about Vlad's true intentions with her but not about him being half ghost. Introduction to Specter Deflector invention. 18) "Life Lessons": Valerie's arc- Important development for Valerie and Danny's characters and their relationship. Skulker as main antagonist. 19) "The Million Dollar Ghost": Vlad's villain arc-Jack and Danny episode- acts as set up for major future plot point. Introduction to Guys In White, a anti-ghost hunters organization. 20) "Control Freaks": Danny and Sam's centric episode-exploration of Sam's family and her relationship with her parents. Introduction to Freakshow, a human who can control ghosts. Shows Danny being mind controlled and acting like a villain.

Season 2

1)¨Memory Blank¨: Paulina making connection between Danny and Phantom, otherwise it doesn't add much to the series. Sam and Danny episode- Desiree as antagonist. 2) "Doctor's Disorders": Tucker centric episode. Explores the idea of humans getting ghostpowers by ¨ghost disease¨. Spectra returns as antagonist. 3) "Pirate Radio": Introduction to Youngblood. Ember and Youngblood team up as antagonists. Character development for Danny and exploration of Danny's classmates. 4-5) "Reign Storm": Very crucial special episode that pays off character arcs and plot points from Season 1. Vlad's villain character arc-major development for Danny and Valerie as characters and their relationship. Introduction to Pariah Dark, Ghost Zone's backstory and Ghost King lore. 6) "Identity Crisis": Pretty good exploration of Danny's character, explores the concept of how a human-ghost can live separated from their ghost half. Technus as antagonist. 7) "The Fenton Menace": Danny and Jazz episode. Younblood as antagonist. 8-9) "The Ultimate Enemy": Another crucial key special episode from the show. Introduction to Dark Danny/Dan Phantom (fanon name) as antagonist and the idea of Danny turning evil in the future. Important for Danny's arc. Introduction to Clockwork, Master of Time and his superiors, the Observants. Important exploration of Vlad's character. Danny learns about Jazz knowing about his ghost half and their dynamic changes from here. 10) "The Fright Before Christmas": Christmas episode- Introduces the Ghost Writer and Christmas Truce between ghosts. 11) "Secret Weapons": Vlad's villain episode, acts as follow up for both ¨Reign Storm¨ and ¨The Ultimate Enemy¨. Jazz learns about Vlad being half-ghost. Jazz and Danny episode. 12) "Flirting with Disaster": Follow up from ¨Reign Storm¨. Valerie Gray arc-Danny and Valerie temporarily date in this episode. Valerie gets a suit upgrade. Technus as antagonist. 13) "Micro Management": Explores Danny and Dash's dynamic. Skulker as antagonist. 14) "Beauty Marked": Sam centric episode- Exploration of Dorathea's realm- Prince Aragon as antagonist. 15) "King Tuck": Tucker centric episode-Explores the idea of Tucker being descendant of an egyptian pharaoh and having some possible ghost powers (?) Hotep-Ra as antagonist. 16) "Masters of All Time": Clockwork returns as character- It... doesn't add much to the series but it explores an alternative timeline of what if Jack had turned into half-ghost instead. 17) "Kindred Spirits": Vlad's villain arc- reveal of why he has been using Valerie for all this time- deep exploration to Vlad's motivations as villain- Introduction to Danielle character. Acts as the ¨actual¨ finale for Season 2 18) "Double Cross My Heart": Sam and Danny episode. GIW as antagonists 19-20) "Reality Trip": Freakshow returns as antagonist. Introduction to the Reality Gauntlet. Exploration to how Jack and Maddie would react to finding out that Danny is a ghost. Even though things revert back to the status quo by then end, some of the concepts it explores are interesting.

Season 3

1)"Eye for an Eye": Vlad's villain arc-Change of the status quo. Vlad moves to Amity Park and becomes the mayor. 2) "Infinite Realms": Vlad's villain arc. Introduction to the Infi-Map and the Far Frozen yetis. Introduction to Frostbite character 3) "Girls' Night Out": Spectra, Ember and Kitty villain team up. Skulker as secondary antagonist. Some interesting development between Jazz and Sam. 4) "Torrent of Terror": Vlad's villain arc. Introduction to Vortex. Dany and Vlad work together in this episode. 5) "Forever Phantom": Introduction to Amorpho. Interesting exploration of Danny's character- an episode worth of watching. 6) "Urban Jungle": Introduction to Undergrowth. Danny gets ice powers and exploration of ghosts cores. 7) "Livin' Large": Episode that explores the idea of the Fentons becoming rich- GIW as antagonists. 8) "Boxed-Up Fury": Introduction to Pandora and Pandora's box. Box Ghost as antagonist 9) "Frightmare": Introduction to Nocturn as antagonist. 10) "Claw of the Wild": Wolf returns this episode. Walker as antagonist. 11) "D-Stabilized": Vlad's villain arc- Important episode for Valerie and Danielle character arcs- Valerie finds out about Vlad being half ghost. 12-13) "Phantom Planet": Series finale- conclusion to Danny's arc and Vlad's villain arc. Danny's identity as Phantom gets revealed to the whole world as Vlad's does. Vlad is exiled from Earth with everyone knowing about his ghost identity and villain nature. Danny and Sam become a couple. Gets followed up in ¨A Glitch in Time¨ Graphic novel.

[sosickoflostpassword]

It's pride month! Let's make a list of One Piece characters I head cannon as in the LGBT+ community!

First up is the Captain himself, Luffy

Don't go getting too hot ladies and gents, this bachelor is off the market.

My opinion is that Luffy is Aro/Ace (not that one).

The reality is that unless you are food, friends, or adventure then you probably won't find yourself meaning much of anything to this delightfully joyous fellow.

In short the man has things to do and none of those things include sex or romance.

Top ships: none

Secondary ships: also none

Next up we got the navigator, Nami

This pretty lady capture hearts wherever she goes!

My opinion is that she is Bisexual.

Man or woman you'll have a chance with her... for a price.

Just be sure to protect her and her treasure because she is not interested in the fighting thing. She's a damn queen and very much inclined to act like one.

Top ships: Zoro x Nami

Secondary ships: Sanji x Nami, Vivi x Nami, Wanda x Nami

Now let move on to the ships cook, Sanji!

The man is complicated but hear me out.

It is my opinion that he is bisexual.

He cooks hard and simps harder but perhaps there's something going on underneath. He certainly has a soft side which he shows to women almost exclusively. (Key word is almost my friends)

He certainly likes women but perhaps he's overcompensating for something.

Top ships: Sanji x Nami (it would have been pudding if she was at all older but I digress)

Secondary ships: Sanji x Violette, Sanji x Ace

Speaking of Ace let's look at the little firecracker.

Boy what a looker, and seems to me he thinks similarly about a lot of people because it is my opinion that Ace is ...

Pansexual.

Whether you're sporting feminine, masculin, or neither energy Ace is the guy who's eating it up.

Just get him talking about his brother and he goes all mushy for you. Perhaps it's the genuine connection and interest in each other's lives and feelings that really get him going.

Top ships: Ace x Yamato

Secondary ships: Ace x Sanji, Ace x Vivi

Now let's talk about the top Ace partner for me.

Yamato/Oden

Bro heard the term "dress for the job you want not the job you have" and ran with it.

It is my opinion that Yamato/Oden is pansexual and transgender.

This can be quite the hot topic considering his reason for his transition and how he present himself but for me it is cut and dry. Guy says he's a dude and that's all that I'm gunna care about because let's be honest he is THE DUDE.

Yamato values his strength and values sincerity. He's fun loving and always looking for excitement in life. He found those values presented in his biggest idol, Oden. So it is my opinion that he did not change to be more like Oden but found courage in being himself because he discovered Oden.

Top ships: Ace x Yamato

Secondary ships: none

Who can talk about Trans icons in OP without including Kiku!

Kiku lives her life unashamedly herself. She makes no fuss or muss about it either.

I have no head cannon regarding her sexuality as I got no vibes during my time watching her on screen of one or another but Kiku is, not just by my opinion but canonically, transgender.

Strong, elegant, and thoughtful her path in life did not take away from any of her responsibilities or ther seriousness in which she takes them. One of the ayakaza 9 samurai sworn ro protect Oden and his family. They certainly didn't have any I'll feelings towards her and her identity so why should anyone else.

Top ships: none at this time

Secondary ships: none

Let's dive more into gender identity actually by bringing forth the goat himself. The man. The myth. The legend.

Bonclay.

He is beauty, he is grace, he is missus steal your face.

It is my opinion that Bonclay is gender non conforming!

He goes by he him pronouns but makes no effort to explain nor justify his presentation or mannerisms. No should he! He's perfect the way he is.

I've seen no romantic vibes from Bon Chan as of now but he's too busy being the real MVP of every arc he appears in to have the time it would seem. And that's fine by me.

Top ships: none

Secondary ships: none

It's getting to be quite long so I will cap this off with the top of the top. THE person to go to in the one piece verse regarding gender and sexual identity.

IVANKOV.

He? She? They? It doesn't matter. It's all the same to Ivankov who strikes me as Gender fluid in its purest form.

Believing a person's gender or appearance shouldn't limit them and that every single person should strive for true happiness within themselves regardless if that looks like how they were born or not!

Ivankov has a unique ability to help with that by injecting hormones into those willing (eh sometimes not) to bring about their truer selves.

Ivankov runs the Queendom! A land seemingly dedicated to challenging gender stereotypes with a beautiful scenic background to cap it off.

You're doing the lords work my friend.

Top ships: none

Secondary ships: none

If someone you head cannon in the LGBT+ community isn't on this list that's fine! I'm sure I didn't get them all and there are some that I probably don't head cannon that way. For example it is my opinion that Zoro, Brooke, Robin, and Franky are straight and cis. Jimbei I want to watch more of first and chopper, as a little child bean, doesn't feel right to me to be head cannoning in these ways.