#but thats getting Very off track HAHAHA

[deafeninggardenerpanda]

im making another post for this because oops youve accidently activated headcanon ramble hours 🤪 everyone who asks me questions should be aware im like a friendly but rabid dog regarding this

@ethansajz short answer: "ABSOLUTELY UNFORGIVABLE!!"

long answer:

i imagine jambandran to be a combination of english and japanese with a lot of weird sounds thrown in, but in this case its mostly a bastardization of japanese lmao

vun = "very" and japologa = "sorry" are things taken from canon jambandran. the -ne at the end of japologa is the equivalent of -nai in jp, which makes the word a negative = sorry > un-sorry > "unforgivable" in this context.

unrelated but i chose -ne because i wanted something that would change the stress and sound of the overall word (this part works more like english where different letters around an existing sound pronunciation will warp that pronunciation a bit, rather than jp where each character syllable is always pronounced the same) so japologa is pronounced jah-po-low-GUH and japologane is pronounced jah-po-low-gah-NEH

the vo at the end is the equivalent to the yo sentence ender in japanese and adds emphasis to the previous statement. so the entire vun japologane vo translates to, "absolutely unforgivable!!!"

on the same topic, fran says "jasumi vu". jasumi being "good night" in the japanese version of the game. (they translated this as jaitty in the english version of sa but dont ask me why i didnt use that. i dont know.) anyways its the equivalent to "oyasumi ni", except im using oyasumi as a general word for rest instead of just being goodnight/going to sleep. so fran told dark meta knight, have a good rest/nap~ (when you pass out from hitting the floor so hard). this could be both sarcastic and genuine

[merakiui]

Mera! I'm losing track of the days lol, but so long as i send an ask a week, i think i should be okay 😂

Also feel free to post your hsr hair thoughts bc i love to read your rambles as much as your fics! I'm looking forward to the jade one and him imitating floyd is really amusing. I like to think jade has a sort of pride about him where he loathes being compared to floyd but also jokes it off when someone does or when someone mistakes them, so i can imagine his pride and ego taking a hit but he endures it for sake of reader. Almost like he gets addicted to acting like floyd bc everyone likes floyd better anyways, right? So why not give the people what they want! He receives such a positive response when he acts like floyd that it rewires the hurt in his brain and suddenly the thing he hates is now cathartic for him but theres still that underlying hurt underneath >.<

BUT thats not why im here hehehe, for this weeks questionnnnn......

Who do you think would be the 'final girl' in a slasher film from each dorm? And then if u can, who do you think would be the ultimate survivor? You can optionally bestow the other titles; the virgin who lives but is hurt, the killer in hiding and the idiots who are the first to go, etc :D i read a yandere slasher fic here on tumblr where reader goes into a cabin with her friends and they get killed off one by one until the yandere presumably fucks reader and it has me back in my horror phase 😅 just pretend its Halloween in june, like xmas in july hahaha

-🐔 anon!!!!

:D hi hi 🐔!!!! Thank you for enjoying my writings and ramblings and for your interest in the upcoming Jade fic!! He'd do anything for you, even if it means he has to endure bittersweet pain just to see you smile. >_< all he wants is a chance with you and he gets that when he acts as Floyd. It may be uncomfortable and it may chip away pieces of his pride as an individual, but you laugh at his jokes and look at him like he's the only one in your world. He'll do whatever he can just to receive a crumb of your affection, even if it's all meant to be reserved for Floyd. Aaaa I love writing this version of Jade!!!! He's just so interesting and obsessed!! orz

Ooooo final girls from each dorm!!! That's such a fun question. Here are my thoughts!!! ^w^

Heartslabyul's final girl would be Cater. He's so perfect for the final girl trope! You think he might die first because he's pretty and can't let go of his phone for the life of him, but when he gets serious he can be very cutthroat. <3 the idiotic duo would have to be Ace and Deuce. Deuce hears a strange noise and wants to check it out because he's definitely not scared of demons or killers and he'll beat up anything that tries to hurt him and his friends. Ace thinks he's trying to prank him, but he begrudgingly follows him, thinking it's either nothing and Deuce is trying to scare him or it'll just turn out to be something with a completely natural explanation. It's neither, and while they're both bickering the killer looms from behind. Riddle is the logical one who tries to put everything into perspective and figure out a logical reason behind everything. Trey is, unsurprisingly, the mom friend who just wants everyone to stay in one place because hopefully the authorities will show up soon (they never will).

Savanaclaw's final girl is Ruggie. He's resourceful and cunning; you think he may die first, but he's actually very good at survival. He'll live, but he comes out of the horrific night covered in blood after he's just fought the killer to the death. Jack is your typical jock, kind-hearted and caring, who doesn't believe in any of that ghost stuff or horror movie trope stuff, but when it becomes too real he gets even more serious than before, determined to survive and protect those close to him. Leona strikes me as the type who, upon the first sign of something suspicious or dangerous, promptly leaves. He will not be swept up in any murder plots, no thank you. <3 either that or he sleeps through it all and the killer thinks he's dead at first glance LOL.

Octavinelle's final girl would be Floyd. As goofy as he is, he's also another cutthroat guy who can and will survive. He may throw himself directly at danger, but somehow he always comes out of it alive. Jade is your typical killer-in-hiding. You won't suspect him until it's too late, and by then nearly half the cast is dead. Azul is the type who acts like an ally to everyone, but he's secretly either plotting with the killer or planning to sacrifice everyone in order to save himself.

Scarabia's final girl is Jamil. Most of his decisions are made solely to protect Kalim (who naturally is the comedic relief/carefree friend who is just too sweet for this world), but there's a build-up in this movie where the plot twist is that Jamil ultimately ends up tricking Kalim. Is it possible for both him and Jamil to survive? Perhaps, but this isn't that kind of movie. :) and from the bloodshed, Jamil emerges, alive, exhausted, and traumatized. (Or I could also see Jamil as a killer-in-hiding and Kalim as the final girl; it fits either way in my mind hehe!! :D)

Pomefiore's final girl is either Epel or Vil. It's hard to choose just one of them for the trope because I feel like it can fit them both in different ways. Rook is obviously the killer-in-hiding or he's just that really unnerving character who happens to know too much about how a killer thinks. >_< Vil as a final girl would be so cool because I think he can also be quite cutthroat. He's the character type who spends most of his focus on himself throughout the movie, yet he still manages to survive. How, you may ask? He weaponized various beauty products or, my most favorite idea, he fought the killer in heels and won, by which the heels absolutely became his weapon. >:) Epel as a final girl would be somewhat surprising because he's the character who no one really expects to live because he's "so petite and cute and omg how will he ever survive the big, scary killer!!!!" D: but then Epel shocks everyone when he ends up arming himself with brass knuckles or a baseball bat to go hunt down the killer himself.

Ignihyde's final girl is Idia, but then he also fits into the loser nerd category. Idia as a final girl is a little frustrating because he spends the entire movie being prideful and rude to the other characters, so everyone sort of wants him to be killed off first because he's so unlikable. But because Idia's seen all of these tropes before and knows his way around a horror movie, he ends up surviving. Ortho survives as well, but then I can also picture him being something of a sci-fi horror villain (i.e. technology becomes bad and targets humans). It's something like in book six where he was giving the students little tests in order to advance to the next level. Just a little villainous and devious!

Diasomnia's final girl is Silver. The stress of the situation manages to keep him awake, and so he's mainly in survival mode for the entirety of the film. Silver does his best to protect everyone, even putting himself at risk if it means he can save his friends. Sebek likely puts up a good fight, but he's far too stubborn and can't be quiet to save his life, so he ends up getting killed. I feel like Lilia could be a killer-in-hiding, or he's just the mischievous trickster type. Malleus could also be a killer-in-hiding, or he's the trope of "misunderstood character with a reputation that is solely rumors who turns out to be quite sweet and helpful to the main character."

[hueningoo-archive]

Hi!! I'm a little shy but here goes....

Okay so I'm 5'2 (ik pretty short) I like all sorts of music from artist like conan gray, keshi, dpr ian, the weeknd, Olivia rodrigo, and ofc kpop, jpop and music in Spanish (Spanish being my native language) as for my fav colors I love anything as long as it's in pastel <3 also I'm a cancer so I'm a very emotional person and I tend to hold grudges, and I'm also a bit hot headed at times I get upset kinda easily 😭 (hope this doenst make me sound like a bad person 😭) i have an obsession with anything hello kitty or sanrio related items, I have a whole plushie collection in my room along with my kpop album and pc collection. I lost count on how many albums I have but I'm sure it way past 20 😭 I love the coquette aesthetic it's literally my bed room vibe, It's clean and organized which I think is also part of my personality is keeping things neatly and organized. I also love make up I have tons of it and I love taking care of my skin, korean skin care products got rid of my acne and I find it essential to keep my skin clear. Some dislikes of mine are people who fail to understand and respect my boundaries. I also don't like flashy colors or neon colors. I love boba and sweet things. I'm also a dog type of person rather than cats (don't get me wrong I love cats) I just prefer dogs instead. And my love language is physical touch, lots of skin ship and words of affirmation <3

i match you with... soobin!

okay hear me out... soobin who buys you everything hello kitty, be it plushies, puzzles, clothes, just bc it reminds him of you. he also bought u a little hamper for u to kepe your plushies in! also he probably doesnt keep track of the sanrio characters names, just calls them based off what they look like. "umm... kitty... pink bunny... black bat.... hahaha....." he TRIES like really does! to remember their names but he cant FOR THE LIFE OF HIM LOL.

soobin is honestly so unorganized (same goes with the rest of txt boys so whats new tbh) and so u just walk around and youll see a vacuum thats like?? so out of place? in the dining room?? its fine tho, yell at him a couple times and he'll always remember to put it back in place.

skin care days with soobin!!! he loves his skin care tbh. he may be messy with it, but thats what makes it more fun hehe. he buys you so much skincare you probably dont even use half of it... also he will let you do his makeup if u want:) or he'll do urs! except he'll mess up BADLY. also boba dates!!

sure, soobin isnt so touchy in public as hes not very big on pda- makes him mad awkward, but expect at least an arm snaked around your waist!! cuddles are very popular at home too.

[heartsoftruth]

Tell us how was your experience for the first few days in Monaco 😍😍. Did you encounter any drivers 😜

OMGGGGG. It's been DAYS already since I'm back (and I had a HUGE post GP dip), but Monaco, Monaco, MONACOOOOO!!! J'taime ♥️ Truly what an amazing GP to go to. I actually went to Monaco every day for the entire week that I've been in France/MON haha. When I arrived on Tuesday I was kinda bumped, because I booked my tickets to arrive on that day for that ANNUAL charity football match. Of F1 drivers vs whatever. There was already some rumors it might be cancelled, but nothing 100% confirmed. And Monaco is very old skool: so you could (and can) only buy tickets at the stadium ahha. But when I landed I read from someone on Twitter: I just called the stadium and it's cancelled this year. So that was the start of my MON trip... As you can imagine I went 🥺🥺😞. I'm very superstitious; so I was only hoping this bad start isn't an omen for the rest of the trip... I still went to MON (since I already bought a train ticket) and I have to say it was great. The pitlane was open and I could see the teams building/preparing the garages. I went for a walk ON the track: next to the swimming pool, grandstand T etc etc. Then went back to the pitlane again and saw the RB being unloaded. As I was traveling solo for the first time I put my independent woman pants on and went to a restaurant and asked for a table for one. Sat there, purposely not too much on my phone, but enjoying the view and where I was and it was actually ok? Like the idea of eating alone and even more: in a restaurant/terrace makes me anxious even now when I've done it. But it was all ok haha. Then after I went to take a look in the pits again haha. And ended up walking on the pit straight to the train station. And while I was walking all of a sudden thinking: wow damn these are the pitboxes haha. This is the start and finish, this is the breaking point, here we almost are at St Devote haha. I've never been to a street circuit so I don't know if thats normal, but to me it's mindblowing that every day (even after actual F1-sessions) the track opened up. I had a moment where I was walking on the straight (very close to the fence, bc I didn't want to get hit of course HAHAH) and thought 🤯🤯🤯 this is actually insane gurl.

Wednesday I had planned to explore Nice, but I bought new iPhone ears and thought: I need to go to MON HAHHAHA. So I bought another ticket and just went back there. Picked up my F1experience ticket (was helped by someone who - with all due respect - wasn't the brightest but after 2 colleagues came she finally understood my problem). This time I wanted to go more towards the harbor area of the city and it was just... 🤯🤯🤯 I mean... The photo down here doesn't do it justice but: wow! So pretty. I sat there with my water and just enjoyed this view. I truly was thinking: I can understand how little Lewis came here to have a sleepover with Nico and went: One day I'm going to live here. I walked a bit further and these 'little boats' are NOTHING compared to the yachts that were laying there hahah. I felt I was being called poor in 43943 languages hahaha. But it was great to see. I didn't stay too long and went back to sit with the 'little' boats again before I head off on my way to find something to eat. It was then I saw something red on a bike and I went: 🤔🤔👀. It was Ollie! I wasn't planning on saying anything, but he had to stop for the stripes (no idea what's the word in English) and then looked towards me. So I went: Good luck this weekend! 🥰 And since he was so sweet in his reply, so I asked if I could take a piccie and he said of course, but had to get off the road haha. So I was very happy with that as I find him an adorable and talented kiddo and I missed him in Zandvoort last year. Walked past Daddy Norris (who was in - what seemed to be - a very serious convo) and Angela light/2.0 (as I call the guy who is with Lewis now on the grid) walked past several times as well haha.

Ended up with a lovely dinner for 1 and then I ended up taking a peek in the pit again and walking on the straight back to the train station haha. Went back home in time because I knew on Thursday it would truly start!

[the-firebird69]

1969 Pontiac Firebird Ram Air IV 4-Speed Muscle Car Of The Week Video #146

and his was is a 1969 and were made early and very early to meet demand.  and his was number one.  and there were 85 made we have some want tehm all and at teh end of the show. macs want them all.  and thie was made early..but finalized on his birth day. and that early.  and out the door. July ten 1968 says it. he read it and said no thats too dumb. and they laughed and saw it.  and it is powerful but was a huge lblock ram air to offset it keep it cool and the size for cool.  long idstance. yes. tons will see why.  and we see it. they want him to go by and or through Phoenix and to see.  and find ours.  and a greay area black leather top and patent. nad they saw it and it was originally blue yes. baby blue.

Hera 

Zues wow and he says theat and yeh me Hera

and this is it the Firebird the true story. and six to nine.  and it a year ahead. always only a year. then no and yeh they planned it but we did too. fought over it. now he is jonesing for it too h arsh here. needs it. soon no feel great. but ok rest and good healed. and more code to it a lot more. it did have the three speed automatic. and they wont use it no not at this time. mayble later. and restore it to its original non luster they say we wont let them no.  it was dangerous andon purpsoe to nab the Ent they think dave did that night. and e ws nearby. and had a truck.now we see it ok baby blue watgon adn almsot hit him.  so we play this no theydo. and that was Hera yes. torment her he is ok. she nods ok and me. they heat up and we see it and get them.  tons more no. are small but tons go to it are real small.  and hit them all yes.

and colorado plates. and it is the muscle car and corvette nationals and a place and they do have contests but restore old cars and this one was done well. not to original specs and you cans eei t on the door but no not done on purpose. and the threespeed too slow and then off to the west they say no off to florida need it now.  and to hit the east. and macs and psuedo empire.  macs are out west but allover. and smatterings. now this is rough ok they say.  it isi in illinois. rosemont.  and it says rose mountain.  and it means that.  and garth went sees it and horror and his nephewe. goes at them is hit stopped a lot. sees it wow. badass. and him no out of te way. and pushes. and works. now he is amazed. and in awe but hates both. sees it they areholding them and wow.  if nt we would be gone and true.  thinks on it he hates us slow they suck. helps our son and after this.  and soon after batman begins.  and seal he garth sings it.  and better mom says. and good.  and what mont there. and ok i look sloping..nd ok trump mb and oh no. 

we laugh ok uses his grandaddys hardware the screen in space and they say put that away the cgloves so he uses his power runs it lol hahaha they laugh.  claims its a program practices and good they say nono not good.

they plan to ram it to them there and he a grey area. and they see it and head black and ok they go there.  

Thor Freya

https://youtu.be/AMD2TwRvuoU?si=w6qy5HiijnXV0HOK

this is my song. happens after the event im sure of it. see it coming.  and i say it  this boy he is my nephew or my boy. and he is ours. and he says this. its a kiss from a rose laid upon the grave and by macs. and i saw it....and now too. and wow i feel it.  sadness.  and i went to justin said i want to help and he said sit down and do what track him stop him and good. and we shall. together. an work on makeing a peace,, and it is jim morrison not jim morrison the second.  and we see it.  are related not.  it is diet. and yes. now we seek him. but this is rich. the town and the car. and the towns name and where it is.  so i looked.  and it says it Rosemont. and the town is a grave.  and we need the car. i get questioned about operation phoenix and it is on they say we hear it and him and what.  the figure in the sun.  i read the code there again and again. did not believe it.  and said it. it is like  a kiss.  the car. and then thought they say it to him somehow.  a kiss or peck on the cheek..not even and true ligtht.  and oh a send off after ours...and how. it happened. lost them and control no they were beaten up and into it. and the this they stil lhad tons.  did not use it and the needed stuff.  and it hit me.  this is about woring poor without work.  blamed them and the did it a bit did not activte their plan no.  and poor took it.  and it is a Atlanta rose.  and it all made sense.  they lost and these left too...and before their friends and confidants...so we started working and they said it these aare here and we do it. now to them need this out e need to see who is there

Garth

we find it too now

trump

ustoo now

bja

Olympus

us too

mac

and us bill will

and more lsit to lfollow we meet  all

[myfanfictome]

Your Drunk! Kakashi x drunk Reader

Pairing: Kakashi x reader

SUGGESTIVE FLUFFINESS- if thats even-

Warning: a little suggestiveness and a small smooch 8) oh and the reader gets drunk.

You decide to join in on a celebration of a recent victory at a bar, with a good amount of people. most of them were Sensei’s like Kakashi or just close friends You didn’t know why you came, you didn’t want to decline the invitation. but it wasn’t really your scene

you were relieved that Kakashi came, one of the few people you knew at the party. you and Kakashi knew each other for some time and were close friends with each other.

you were about to get up to walk towards Kakashi but he gets occupied by Gai, “KAKASHI!! I CHALLENGE YOU TO DO SHOTS WITH ME, WHOEVER DRINKS THE MOST WINS!!” Gai says with determination

“Haha, sorry Gai I don’t don’t feel up to drinking that much right now, maybe another time,” Kakashi says in his usual calm demeanor reverting his attention back to his book

“KAKASHI don’t tell me you won’t accept my challenge!! ARE YOU INTIMIDATED THAT I MIGHT DRINK MORE THAN YOU!? HAHa!” Kakashi sighs “Oh yes..I am sooo afraid..” he says in his most monotone voice, eyes still stuck to his book

“Was that sarcASMM? I WILL CHALLENGE YOU AGAIN LATER KAKASHI! BE READY!!!!” Gai spins around and sees you “HAHAHA! Y/N! I challenge you to do SHOTS with me”

“shots?.. .like alcohol?” you say with hesitation

“don’t tell me you’ve never drank before!” Asuma chimes in

At this point, Kakashi has everted attention away from his book to observe the situation

“um no, I don’t think I’ve ever drank before” you say in your normal tone “is that strange or something?”

and then suddenly your on a stool with a line of shots in front of you and a bunch of tipsy people chanting “DRINK DRINK! DRINK DRINKK!!!”

you have never had alcohol before, though if this is the time to have some, it would sure be memorable. ‘why the heck not’ you think, ‘It wouldn’t hurt anything let's do it

you suddenly chug on one of the shot cups “BELGHHH that's DISGUSTING!!” you shout after ingesting the beverage

Everyone keeps chanting to drink so you chug another one to please them your cheeks start to flush a red tint “BlEGhh! ok OK, that's the laft none Im'n Drinkingg!”

the whole bar starts laughing as you look around confused “Whast evryone laughing ambout??” Even Kakashi gets a good chuckle at the situation

you fumble around talking and laughing hysterically, jeez who knew alcohol made you this social.. at this point, Kakashi is basically babysitting you for the whole party, you know preventing you from face planting numerous times.

its been at least an hour at this point, and few people have already left You were growing tired and Kakashi noticed you yawned at least ten times in the last two minutes

“Hey Y/n, You think you're ready to go? You sound tired” Kakashi asked “mmm, okay! as long as your with me..tehee,” you said giggly towards the end

Kakashi takes no notice of the flirty tone of your voice and escorts you out of the bar and you two start walking towards your home...

there's somewhat of an awkward silence walking to your home before you speak

“Kakashi ᶦ ʷᵃⁿᵗ ᵗᵒ ⁻⁻.:” you say, too quiet and slurred for him to understand. He leans in closer to hear what you said, “hm?” he says wanting you to repeat.

“I want to,” you say as you pull his mask down and suddenly kiss him, catching him off guard, the kiss lasts longer than it probably should’ve,

 Kakashi finally snapping out of it and pulling away and quickly pulling his mask back up

“kiss you..” you say breathily after you two break apart

he’s utterly shocked to his core, staring at you in disbelief you stare back at him with a half-lidded drunken smile

he finally starts speaking..barely speaking in words stuttering. he finally finds composure and looks back at you with his closed eye smile, blushing like crazy under his mask.

“That's sweet y/n, but your drunk. you're not in the right state of min-“

“Did youu not llikke it?” you cut him off drunkenly, looking at him with sad eyes

He doesn’t know what to say he starts looking off to the side, he looks like he’s deep in thought

“We have to get you home, it's getting late.” he states before you can speak and starts walking away swiftly getting ahead by a fair amount

you follow, trying to catch up. “wait but didnnt say if yoou liked-“ 

“we’re almost a few blocks away” he quickly cuts you off

he’s walking REALLY fast you have to start jogging to catch up almost face planting you start to mutter “But you-“

“and we’re here.” he cuts you off once again Wow, you're already at your front door? jeez, that was quick...

you were panting and getting dizzy, almost falling in the process of going up the steps to your door. Kakashi behind you holding his hands out ready to catch you if you fell.

when you got up to your front door you look back at Kakashi, already starting to walk away

“waittt” you tug his sleeve stopping him in his tracks he turns around looking at you cautiously

“Can you stay Kakashi? I don’t feel very good” you slurred towards the end looking at him with doe eyes

He walks closer to you putting the back of his hand on your forehead “hm, you are hot” He states

( Hehe, thanks Kakashi (8,I am hot ) 

he starts contemplating before replying “fine I'll stay, only to make sure your okay” 

“Yayy!!” you say happily

He walks in and gets your shower ready for you. he walks to the kitchen and reads his Icha Icha as you shower

15 minutes later

“I'm done!” you yell from your bedroom “Okay! come out and ill make some soup”

And so you did

he was squatting looking for a pot in the bottom shelf before standing up and locking eyes with BOOM

you, y/n in a SHEET a white thin SHEET

“Y/N!” he almost yells “PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!” “Kakashi~ what's wrong?” you say innocently

He starts frantically nudging you back into your bedroom while covering his eyes

he closes the door behind you, turns around, and starts trying to comprehend what he just saw, he is FLUSTERED. blushing from ear to ear...

when he finishes recovering for a minute he knocks asking if you're dressed “Yeah I am!” you say

He opens up the door “NO YOUR NOT!!” 

“But you said to put something on, I did~!” you say while your obviously in your BRA and PANTIES sitting on the bed

He has his hand over his mouth staring over his shoulder in shock trying to gain his composure, he is so glad you can’t see him blushing underneath his mask right now.

he takes a breath “I'm going to get you some water okay? put something over yourself please”

you nod in reply

He walks out and closes the door behind him he gets the glass of water, still in his headspace

he opens the door and comes to your bedside placing the water on your nightstand.

he tucks you in very gently, 

like this man should be a part-time mother or babysitter…Oh wait, he kinda already is for Naruto and Sasuke

he saw that your eyes were closed and he started to leave before he could walk away he feels his arm being tugged he looked back at you

“Kakashi~ please stay with me,” you say sleepily

“Sorry, I have to go” he replies

he feels himself being pulled towards you

you are really close to him now, you start nibbling and kissing his neck, it felt a little weird for you since he had his mask on

“Y/n, your drunk” he states a bit flustered trying to move your hands away

“No I’m not~~” you say sounding obviously drunk

you start to get frustrated at his mask

“mmph..stupid mask” you mutter starting to take off his mask inching it off his face, your other hand settling on his neck

he could smell the alcohol on your breath now

Right before you could take the mask off his face, he firmly moved you away from him... He looks serious now

“Y/n, If I want to continue to be a respectable man I can’t let you do this, it's hard to control myself when you're so close to me. you don’t know what your doing"

you look up at him a bit intimidated

He softens his tone “I'm going to go now alright? get some sleep”

He tucks you back in and gets up to leave

“I'm sorry Kakashi,” you say quietly before he walks out

He looks back at you before leaving out of the window “It's okay y/n” he gives you his sweet signature smile

you smile back and roll back over to sleep

then he finally takes his leave

____________________

“hey Kakashi, I do anything weird when I was drunk last night?”

“hahaha nahhhhh nothing at all nope hhaah.....”

HOPE YOU LIKE THIS FIC 8)

[miss-steelmind]

HELLO hello You Wanted that analysis? i may be completely random but this is something i myself have noticed and thought about before, so, if you will!!!!

shin’s personality during the death game isn’t that much like midori ater all. there’s a lot of differences and yet i can see why he considers it ‘becoming‘ midori

letsseeeee, the differences

- midori is... midori is just so Social, you know? shin only appears when he thinks he needs to, and otherwise hangs out with the few allyships he‘s made, or does things alone. as made obvious by gin’s little nicknames. midori is Not like that at all

- the way they act when feeling negative emotions. while they both do tend to get lost when in a big panic during the times where they get caught on their mistakes, as well as focusing on one set goal to the point they lose track of other things they couldve done and frget any mistakes, this is not something shin could’ve copied. we barely even see midori in such situations and there is no way for shin (before the death game, the timid friendly teenager, mind you) to know what midori is like when in panic. midori just wouldnt ever show him that. i dont believe it

anyway! onto the other part i wanted to explan in this. their negative feelings. midori is completely insistent on acting happy and joyful during the majority of the chapter. while i understand this may partially be the excitement it gives him, i believe he also hides his negative emotions to many lengths unless he’s caught. his fear of death is what causes him to show those bad feelings because it’s just so.... frightening. to him. i think he has had this fear of death before the chapter, even, because even when midori jokes about his own death he has also been shown to struggle with imagining himself in situations he isnt in at that moment. this may be related to his empathy - he cant put himself in others shoes so neither can he in other situations than the ones he goes through atm (not to say low empathy is bad, but midori has it and it explains his behavior). its why he goes all ‘hahaha im dead!!!!!’ when speaking to the cast about it but breaks into a panic when he’s actually about to die. sorry for the midori analysis here haha, but anyway point being here midori hides his negative feelings so much while shin puts in less effort for such

- that reminds me! the next point! the way they care about others (if they even do). midori does NOT understand caring, obviously, and deals with it unhealthily. shin cares SO MUCH sometimes, to the point he lets lose of all else to save the one he cares about so much, kanna. he also shows little aspects that shows he wants kanna to be alright (and this part is about compassion, not empathy, because midori does not want the others to be okay. shin does. shin feels compassion, midori does not).

- the way they stand in situations! by this i mean, midori‘s possessiveness. midori Really wants to control the situations he is in and will do anything to have control of the others. it’s also a part of the reason he broke into a panic. he not only had to face death, he also lost control of what was going on and couldnt do Anything about that. when he begged for sara to let him live at the end of 3b, it shows that his fear of death is greater than anything else, because he even lost his controlling little shenanigans in order to find a way to survive. shin drops all else when the ones he cares about get in danger, midori loses it when he fears this fear.

- not a very important, yet very obvious point however: midori comes off as energetic, and shin is moreso ‘calm’

this leads me to a certain conclusion! shin did Not want to copy midori’s personality. he wanted to copy his idea of him. shin knows midori is strong however a bad person, and reminds himself if he becomes the biggest asshole there can be, he can be strong, like midori. thats just the way shin thinks. he believes the strong aren’t kind, so in that he copied the fact that midori is bad, not midori as a person.

wowowaha this got long hahaahahhxz, thank you for reading <3

IM SORRY THIS IS OLD i wanted to wait until i can collect my thoughts but you worded is so perfectly i don't think i can add much more at this point :0 ty so much for this russell, it was really cool to read!!

i will just say i completely agree, especially with the last part. shin's idea of a "strong person" is faulted from the very beginning and he has a hard time understanding that you don't need to be evil to be strong because that's what he saw, what he learnt from midori. (this also explains a lot about his relationship with sara – he's convinced that only a cruel person would be able to win, therefore sara must be a bad person. i guess that's quite obvious but felt like mentioning it anyway hdkdjd)

i've always found it a bit weird how sara and some other characters say that midori is so much like shin, because honestly, i think shin did a terrible job copying him (which is, you know, understandable). i guess it makes sense, unlike the player they only saw his worst moments, still, like you've already explained in great detail there are some MAJOR differences between the two

you know, their relationship kind of reminds me of when someone tries to copy a famous person who seemingly has it all together and attempt to become that idealized version of them they created in their head. does that make sense?

anyways,, again, thank you for taking the time to write this, it was super interesting!!<3

[argumentl]

The Freedom of Expression, Ep 41 - 'Antique' displayed in showcase. Its true identity is..

K: Hi, this is Dir en grey's Kaoru with this week's episode of The Freedom of Expression. Joe san, Tasai san, welcome again. Ok, should we get straight on with it?

J: Yeh, shall we?

T: Yeah.

J: Just get started quickly.

K: Ok, Ojikyun... (*see last episode*)

T: Yeh, Ojikyun.

J: I'll try my hardest.

T: Ojikyun Joe.

J: Ok, well, this is today's news. 'Antique displayed in showcase, its real identity is..?'　A photo posted to Twitter of a shop's showcase is getting reactions like, 'I had to look twice!', and 'I was fooled!'. The person who posted the photo was walking the streets, when suddenly they saw a shop with a showcase containing numerous pots. But when this person had a closer look, they were amazed. They read the explanation card and discovered the pots were actually Baumkuchen! The pots, made in various sizes, resemble the real finish and shape of an actual flower vase. The shop, named Villon, is a patisserie located in Sakura Shinmachi in Tokyo, and was established in 1965. These Baumkuchen made in the shape of pottery go by the name of 'Grand Villion', and the shop owner says they were born out of an idea to express the beauty of pottery though cakes. The shop also sells many other products, but people who have seen the photos online have been mistaking the cakes for real pots one after another.

So I think if you have a search online, you'll be able to find the images, but it really is Baumkuchen which looks exactly like a pot.

T: Absolutely.

K: Yeh, for sure.

J: What do you think about this?

K: Its incredible.

T: It is, yeh.

J: Yeh, it is.

T: It is amazing.

J: Yeah. I wonder if they sell a lot of these?

K: Can you buy these online?

J: I wonder if you can?

K: Just by looking, it seems like you order it in store.

J: These look like they are probably difficult to deliver.

K: Right.

J: I feel like it would break during delivery.

T: Yeah. But peope are buying these and taking them home as souvenirs.

J: Yeh, using Baumkuchen to make a pot...

T: Won't it become really well-known?

J: Yeah, it will. Its like making curry into the shape of poo as a kid...What? Didn't you do that?

T: Haha

T, K: No

J: Didn't you ever make curry into the shape of poo and offer it to your friends in elementary school?

K: Haha, no.

J: Its only me?? I bet some people did *points to camera*

T: They didn't, I'm sure they didn't, haha. No-one's gonna fall for you with that.

K: Haha

J: Im not Ojikyun material?

T: Not at all.

K: I thought everyone did that.

T: Hahaha

J: Isn't it a good trick? Making poo with curry? This is the same, just making a pot with Baumkuchen.

K: ??? *1

J: Is that a bit rude of me? Don't you make piled up poo with curry?

T: No! Haha.

K: How do you even make that with curry??

J: Its like, if the curry is left for a while, it congeals a bit, right?

K: The roux.

J: Yeah, kinda like the roux. I did it with that when i was a kid.

T: You did it with that? haha

J: I got into trouble with my parents for it.

K: Well, yeh.

T: Yeah, you would..playing with food.

J: ???*2

K: So thats why you're like this now.

J: No no no, ???*3. But anyway, its like an extension of that, what Villon is doing.

K: Its amazing. The cake at the bottom looks exactly like a real pot.

T: Yeah.

J: Yeh, they have uploaded the pics, but at a glance the Grand Villlon seems to cost close to twenty thousand yen.

T: Yeh, twenty thousand.

K: The big one, right?

J: Yeah, the big one.

T: Oh, the medium sized one costs ¥14,500.

J: Yeh, the big one is about ¥20,000. It would make someone very happy if you gave it as a gift.

T: Well, I wanna try it once.

J: Yeh, me too. Though it probably just tastes like regular Baumkuchen.

T: Of course, yeh.

J: So like, curry in the shape of poo tastes like curry, haha.

T: Hahaha

K: It reminds me of that thing, poo flavoured curry or curry flavoured poo?

J: The ultimate decision, right?

T: Oh, I remember that.

K: Which would you choose?

T: Probably curry flavoured..

K: Poo flavoured is impossible.

J: But the poo flavored one is still just curry.

K: Its ok to eat?

J: Yeah. 

K: So if its curry flavored poo, and you eat it will it have an  ???*4 influence?

J:..Yeh. It might be something sent from above. But anyhow, it tastes like curry.

K: So, its poo that doesn't harm your body?

J: No, well, the taste. The taste is curry...What are we talking about?? haha.

T: Right? haha

J, K: hahaha.

K: So for this, its like, is it a real pot?

T: Haha

K: Like, a pot that looks like Baumkuchen, or a Baumkuchen that looks like a pot?

J: I feel like this convo is getting off track.

K: That was your fault.

T: You went off on a tangent all of a sudden, haha.

J: Was it my fault? Im so sorry.

K: Should we buy one of these Baumkuchen?

J: Yeah, lets buy one.

K: Haha

T: Lets buy one.

K: We could eat it together.

J: Yeh, we could each put ¥5000 towards it or something.

T: Well, something like that.

K: Yeah.

T: It looks like this store is well established, I bet its delicious.

J: Its great though, established in 1965. The shop is older than me. Its been there for 55 years.

T: Thats amazing.

J: Definitively, lets try it as the TFoE team.

T: Should we ask Kami?

J: Ok. Kami?

Kami: Yes?

J: Oh, he's there, thats good.

T: Yeh, thats good. I thought he might be asleep.

Kami: Did you guys eat Baumkuchen as kids?

J: Well, honestly I was quite poor as a kid. We had a business in our house, but we suddenly went bankrupt and became poor very quickly. My Dad had a car, and he had about a million yen in debts with it, or fines.

T: When was this?

J: Oh, when I was in elementary school, so about forty years ago. So we didn't really eat fancy sweets like Baumkuchen...not that I can remember anyway.

T: Hm, as a small kid..

Kami: Um, I spent a lot of time in Nishinari in Osaka..Baumkuchen in not common there. (*Nishinari is know as a bit of a slum*)

K: Haha.

T: Im sure you can eat it there.

Kami: No, there didn't used to be any there.

T, K, J: Hahaha

J: So, you were in Nishinari, Kami?

Kami: For quite a long time actually.

J: Oh, really?

Kami: In Nishinari they really work hard making ocotopuses with sausages.

T: Haha

J: Haha. Octopuses with sausages?

T: You can buy that in the supermarket.

J: But its the same kind of idea right? Like making pots with Baumkuchen.

Kami: Also using carrots to make flowers.

J,T: Ahh, yeh, I see.

J: Kami, as soon as you enter, the conversion suddenly gets really common.

T: Yeah

Kami: It is the same idea.

K, T, J: Haha

J: Kami, you are pretty interesting.

T: Have you seen those things that are like deep fried Baumkuchen on skewers?

K: Oh yeh, I have.

T: Have you tried them?

J: I've seen deep fried ice cream, or fruit and stuff on a skewer, but not Baumkuchen.

T: Oh, there is that too.

K: Yeah, there is.

J: Ehh.

T: They definitely did this in Nishinari, right Kami?

K: Yeh, they did.

Kami: No, they didn't.

T: Haha

K: He's sure about that.

J: Yeh, he's certain.

T: He doesn't want to lose on this one.

J: But Kami, do you want to eat these pots made from Baumkuchen?

Kami: Well, yeh, to look at them, they look delicious.

J, T, K: Haha.

T: By the way Kami, how old were you when you first tried Baumkuchen?

Kami: I don't really want to tell you that.

J: Haha, its that much of a secret?

K: Maybe he doesn't remember?

J: Yeah, maybe.

Kami: But first, I want to try one of thier basic Baumkuchen.

J: Ah, more basic than this?

T:???6*

J: Ok, I got it. They do sell regular Baumkuchen too, so we'll get one of those for Kami, and we'll get one of the pot Baumkuchen for us.

T: Yeh, I'll eat that. 

Kami: You still have to share it though.

J, K: Hahaha

J: So you do want to eat it?

Kami: Yeah, I do.

J: You do? You should have been honest from the start. Well, I learned something today...that there is no Baumkuchen in Nishinari.

T: No, there is, there is. Will he get mad at me? There definitely is.

J: There definitely is? Well, we got to learn a bit about Kami's history.

T: You can kinda tell he probably lives in the west.

K: Well, he has a Kansai accent.

J: Yeh, he definitely has a Kansai accent. But now we know specifically about Nishinari.

T: I get the feeling he was just lurking there, as opposed to living.

K: He does seem kinda low class.

T: Yeh, he does.

J: Like, the kinda guy you want to avoid if at all possible, haha.

K: Ok, so, is that it?

J: So, we'll have to go and buy this sometime. Within the year?

T: Lets go asap.

K: Well, if they have to be reserved, we'll make a reservation.

J: Oh, yeah. Well, Kami wants to try a piece too.

K: Will Kami come down to join us then?

Kami: I do want to eat it.

J: No, well, what should we do? How can we give you it, Kami?

T: Right?

J: Kami?

Kami: Yes?

J: Yes?

K: hahaha

J: He doesn't know how to answer that, haha. Clearly, haha. He obviously doesn't know what to say! You're in the sky, right, Kami?

Kami: Thats right.

J: Yeh, so how can we get the cake to you?

Kami: Yeh, Im not sure, how could we? haha

J, K, T: Hahaha

J: He is totally stuck with this unexpected question.

T: What should we do then?

K: How about we look forward to what happens at that time?

J: Certainly!

K: Haha. Ok, well, Lets finish here for this week. Please subscribe. Thank you very much.

*1,2,3,4,5,6 Couldn't make out, usually due to too much background laughing.

[pippuns]

owo trials are interesting to think about - each of my wol’s has a different first trial since they turn up at different points in time!!

Kou’s is the standard, ifrit: it doesn’t go... well per se. In terms of ability they’re totally capable of kicking him to shit but they’re also still in their teen recklessness phase where they just stand there and take it instead of sparing a thought to dodging (they can just heal it they say, why waste time I could be casting when they can vanish the damage they say. 🤡) and their being cold-angry about what’s just happened to this whole group of people who will likely never get to go home now very much creates a one track kind mentality that means Kou comes back scorched to hell and back. They still very passionately inform Thancred after the fact that he has no business blaming himself for their facing ifrit alone, because if he’d forgotten he would have died too if he was there given he, like most of the scions, operates without the echo. This is the incident that later gives Thancred a better idea of how old they are but in the moment things were just a bit tense for doing the math when they compared him to their brother, for how much he was fretting

Mielle’s the next one to join on, but not until Ramuh since she’s studying the bow in Gridania: hers is a much more relaxed experience apart from the electrocution and whatnot. Nobody around to be tempered, the fight mostly being a test, all in all it was a much better introduction to fighting primal than ifrit was. She would later learn how Kou and the one other wol already present (my friends wol, canon in our storyline but who I don’t talk about much because she doesn’t like sharing her oc’s) first got into fighting primals, and she would be a little aghast. Like Jesus these kids have had it rough wtf.

And then Oak, my little Viera!! They’re a year younger than Kou so they turn up at 17 while Kou is 18, studying the axe at the time in Limsa: they found out they had the echo accidentally and promptly stowed away on the Leviathan ship to help fight them because she’d already asked if she could come and been told she was Probably a bit young but that was kinda wack if you asked her considering like 2/3 of the warriors were like. Only a year or two older than her. She didn’t end up tanking that fight, swapping out for her more powerful and much more safely positioned black mage set up, and after promising she’d only go axe when one of the other wol’s was also on tank they agreed she could join up. Mostly because Kou knew from experience she’d probably end up doing wol stuff regardless and it was much safer for her to be with folk who could help. Kou, it should be noted, it a massive hypocrite which Oak will never tire of ragging on them for bcbsbfhf

TEEN RECKLESS PHASE KOU LETS GO!! go off on thancred!! i wish we could have been like "my dude. my guy. i would have had to kill you too if you were here" but alas.

ramuh really is so much more relaxed than all the other primals but simultaneously so annoying. sir don't terror me. my deepus. me too mielle though i would have the same reaction.

HER NAME IS OAK OMG.. THATS SO CUTE. SHE'S YOUNGER?? SOMEONE PROTECT HER

OMG SHE STOWED AWAY HAHAHA

[trashcatsnark]

Ooooh, gimmie those juicy, juicy Johnny backstory headcanons 👀👀👀

Okay, so I always feel kind of bad? I guess, talking about my ideas of his backstory because A) I feel like they’re very cliche, 

B) I know I don’t know every drop of TTRPG Lore, despite that not truly being canon to the game a lot of the time and also the cyberpunk universe timeline is kinda a mess, so i just do whatever i want (like samurai’s starting when he was 15 and also when the war he served in started, like the amount of overlap between the war and samurai’s active years is insane and the game can’t decide when Johnny was a soldier and when he was a grungy rocker)  

C) given CDPR still plans to expand on the game with DLC and stuff, I know it’s fully possible that my ideas will be debunked in the coming months. 

So, take all of these ideas with a grain of salt and as always if your headcanons conflict with mine; that’s cool that’s why they’re headcanons

I feel like Johnny had a rough childhood firstly, cause in the immortal words of Linda Belcher;  “Look at how you stand. People who had good childhoods don't stand like that.” Like everything about him screams shitty childhood. My brain for some reasons specifically imagines, alcoholic abusive father and enabling compliant mother. Which, again, I know is the cliche of shitty childhood backstories, but it is cliche largely because its an unfortunately common reality. I imagine his first guitar is probably one of the only nice gifts he ever got and music was largely an escape. I came up with the idea too of his father having been a blue collar worker who was injured on the job; unable to work afterwards, given barely anything for workers comp and ongoing unemployment. Leaving the family struggling financially. Fucked over by his employers, turning to abusing pills and alcohol to cope with pain and raging at Johnny and Johnny’s mother. Teaching and instilling habits that would follow Johnny too. 

I like the idea of Johnny and Kerry meeting first as kids, junior high to high school. And between the years of at least 13-15, the earliest conception stages of samurai started. And I do mean the earliest, messiest, barebones stages of Samurai; it was basically two teenage boys playing and scream singing their unrefined lyrics in a garage. Cause they were kids and just wanted something to do, something to get their mind off the shitstorm of life. Maybe, i debate internally, they do manage to meet Nancy, Denny, and Henry maybe they all grew up in Texas and with someone more competent even at their young ages, Nancy manages to get them actually going a bit as a young band. A few little underground grungy gigs playing at bars they weren’t old enough to drink in. 

Now again, formation of Samurai and Johnny serving in the war, lead to like the biggest question marks in his backstory because nothing lines up very well. The war he served in started when he was fifteen, albeit that’s not for sure when he enlisted. Given we’ve been told children can in universe be scouted by corps to be their soliders; its not out of the realm of possibility that he served before he was 18 and was drafted as a child. But. Johnny specifically states he enlisted, that he made that choice. I’ve stated before that given how long the war lasted, its fully possible he enlisted at 18, served so much of the last four years of the war then ditched following his friend dying for him. 

However, I have also considered and really do personally like the idea, that Johnny did enlist himself and did so prior to being 18, though not as young as 15. Because, he forged his documents to enlist. There’s incidents and documentation of people as young as 15 faking their birth certificates and high school diplomas in order to enlist. I could absolutely see a 16-17 year old Johnny, frustrated with life and thinking he could have a bigger impact in the world in the military, forging his documents and enlisting. This leads to of course Samurai breaking up for that time. 

He serves around 4-5 years, deserting and leaving around 2009. Spends his month spinning his wheels and staring at the Pistis Sofia. He comes out of his funk and is ready to send his message about the dangers of corps to the world and he knows just how to do it. Fully adopts the name Johnny Silverhand and goes to track down his old friend Kerry. Samurai is freshly reformed. 

Right around that same time, he meets Rogue. (which even this is fucky in canon????? Rogue says lets pretend its 2015 and idk what a bastard you are, Alt died in 2013, he’d already cheated on Rogue by then???? ANYWAY) They meet about the 2009-2010 mark as Samurai is coming back together. Personally, I like to imagine they met while she was on the job. She had to eliminate a target who happened to be at the venue Samurai was doing a gig and Johnny managed to stumble upon her snapping the guy’s neck or something. And she thinks her covers blown, but hahaha Johnny’s into that and is like “hey, you want a drink?” and is then like determined to get with her and they fall into a relationships. Then around 2011-2012 he fucks it all up, cheats, there in my opinion is definite overlap in his relationship with Rogue and his relationship with Alt. 

I also feel like he met Alt at a samurai gig? I can’t remember the TTRPG lore of it, but I feel like in general Johnny met most of the women he had relationships with at Samurai gigs, partially cause he’s a just...a liitle egotistical. Alt however was there as someone who was genuinely into the music, (Rogue at one point in canon condescendingly calls her a groupie and I can’t but feel there’s a bit of truth in thats how it started). But Johnny started to legitimately feel things for her, but being Johnny, he never properly articulated that and always had to keep fucking it up. They fall into a pretty whiplashy toxic relationship over the course of a year or two where they do genuinely feel for each other, but Johnny can’t ever let his walls down enough to tell her that in earnest and is constantly doing things to fuck up the relationship, cause he’s a dick. Until in 2013, well, we know what happens. 

Johnny has to spend some time with nomads, (probably after releasing Never Fade Away, because I do see this man as the kind of guy to postpone going in hiding just to release his song for Alt before doing so) as do Rogue and Santiago after the attack on Arasaka. Because Johnny’s busy trying not to be spotted. They wait for the heat to die down before Johnny comes back to Night City. Him and Rogue rekindle things for a time, but it ultimately is on and on and dies out again, because Johnny is stinky bastard man. Kerry had already been talking about going solo and by the time Johnny’s back in the city he had and Johnny does his solo thing for a while too. But ultimately Samurai reforms for a bit, in 2020, neither Kerry or Johnny quite ready to let it go yet. Somewhere also during this, Spider Murphy helps deliver a message from Alt about her status and asking him to let it go. He does not and joins the Morgan Blackhand mission to attack Arasaka Tower in hopes of saving Alt’s construct in the process. 

Thats the barebones of some of my thoughts and headcanons; Im sure some are not lore compliant, I’m sure my timeline is messy and clashes horrifcally with CDPR’s also messy timeline. But, these are some of my thoughts, headcanons and ideas that will probably be defunct and pointless in a week. 

[mordcore]

tagged by @lostlovepunk thank you uwu

1. Why did you choose your url?

back when i was certainly a system, mord was our system name 😌✨ and the -core is a nice suffix because short words are usually taken, and using <my name>core always feels accurate (and crowcore was taken)

2. Any side blogs?

so many,

witchcraft: @loki-says-trans-rights

to reblog art: @art-appreciating

writing and stuff: @lamuella-42

aesthetic: @aestherisk

to save tutorials: @tutorials-collection

i gave up on being a gm for now so i can leak my pnp sideblog: @aspiring-gm

and my german sideblog: @official-bvg

most i post to once per month but none i feel confident in titling as "active".

3. How long have you been on Tumblr?

this blog, 1 year or so. in total, 7 years 😳

4. Do you have a queue tag?

no i never queue 🤣

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

back in 2014? heck if i know. i remember starting off as a black-and-white blog, reblogging mostly self harm romantization and depression worsening content

this time? cause i missed tumblr and wanted to come back but didnt want to use my old blog because of drama/paranoia. also i felt like a fresh start.

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

hello?? aro crow??? thats just a pic of me

7. Why did you choose your header?

halloween pride flag 😌

speaking of which, time to change it maybe

8. What's your post with the most notes?

i have 8k on my "i'm done being gender neutral. starting today i'm being gender antagonistic"

9. How many mutuals do you have?

uhhhh 22 wow this took a while to count

10. How many followers do you have?

98

11. How many people do you follow?

227

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

hahaha. enough that theres a tag for it

13. How often do you use Tumblr everday?

my daily average is 1:34 hours in use time and 23 launches (i have an app to track app and phone usage)

14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

yes. aforementioned drama was not about blogging or even through tumblr very much but i have had someone get really angry at me for something stupid before and even block evade and find my main blog to yell at me there (it had been on a sideblog)

15. How do you feel about 'you need to reblog this' posts?

that phrase is blacklisted, i will neither get guilt tripped nor expose anyone else to it if i can help it

16. Do you like tag games?

i used to really like them way back when on vent; i think i still do 😌

17. Do you like ask games?

yes!

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous?

don't make me go back and find out who is a mutual again noooooo (also no one? i don't think?)

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

hahaha crushes aren't real everyone knows that /hj

oh now the hard part i need to tag people hmmm

@ratzeflummi @dubbedcorn @catwaifuwu @katpile uwu✨

[cosmicbash]

I hadn’t even thought about MTBMB delux I would die if they collab on it that would be so sick

And yes I completely agree!! Love EST 99% of the time but they need to leave Pete alone like obviously him and Kells are still fine

And the clip was so good and so funny and it’s been known that Pete and Kells are both Em fans

I totally get the whole beef rehashing being good publicity but it’s just so tiring like the whole marketing TTMD by using Kells and Megan’s relationship

And I think it would be even more publicity if Kells was featured Bc everyone would be freaking out

Also I think the whole people hating on MGK as a rapper won’t ever be completely over but Em actually saying something/collabing would help

Like imagine Em retweeting what Kells said about corny headlines

Also sorry if this is a lot!! I just feel like your opinions are mostly aligned with how I think and feel about these things and you tend to have a lot more Em knowledge than I do! But lemme know if I’m bothering you :)

I'm really crossing my fingers for a MTBMB deluxe instead of a whole new album because goddammit it was so FUCKING good. Genuinely a first for me where I loved EVERY single song on an album the first listen through. And the quarentine really ruined a chance for it to really shine with more music vids or even a tour/press thing.

From what I've seen of EST they are all really ride or die, which is GREAT! But also ironically that means a good deal of them also display that crazy Stan behavior they complain about Em fans for having. Kells doesn't NEED his fans to play attack dog and jump at anyone who THEY think might have possibly wronged him no matter how minor. It just makes him look bad in the long run. As sucky as it his fan behavior DOES reflect badly on artists in situations like this. I get some ire in est spaces because I'm an Em fan but I found Kells through the Em beef and I'm not gonna suddenly throw away like a decade plus of me liking an artist and his music because I also really like his new beef of the year. 😂😂 like?? Cmon. I aint Em and I aint Kells so why the fuck should I care about their beef? It doesnt affect me in any way shape or form and Kells himself was an Em fan before it all went down. I'm not gonna pretend to hate either of their music because they dont like eachother. They very obviously couldn't give two shits if their fans overlap too. I don't see Em calling out fake stans or Kells doing the same. (Shit, the majority of other rappers he's collabed with are Em fans guys. Cant you respect him enough to realize he doesnt want his fans to be sheeple who just follow the herd blindly??)

But anyway, EST attacking Pete is a super dick move towards Kells. Thats his friend. Someone he cared about enough he literally dropped everything and got on airplane to go to see and support when unnecessary internet hate put him in a dark place. Like I-- I don't even think its worth wasting text to explain how dumb people hating on Pete look right now 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

The TTMD marketing focusing heavily on his and Megans relationship is something I would need a whole ass post by itself for to talk about hahaha. ((Gonna clarify right now before an assumption is made that I love Megan and I'm very happy for her and Kells relationship ✌ doesn't mean I can't be annoyed with how obviously some member of their teams is going way too overboard with milking it right now. Its a smart ass pr move for sure. Would be a waste NOT to use their combined star power and the buzz around their relationship, still a lil annoying and tone deaf at some points) (cough, cough, just like how the Em beef was milked by both sides until the teet was sore. Cough)

Kells being featured on and Em track would be 👍👍. Just feels like the best way to round off the beef and officially end it. (Specifically kells on an em album though. Anyone hoping for the opposite and to get an em feature on kells next album is gonna be wishing for a long time I think. Em will want to have kells feature on his first imo.)

Kells is always gonna get hate for being a rapper. Even if Em came out and called him great and did multiples features/collabs/ fucking tours with him. White rappers will always get hate in the hiphop world. Especially those who branch out to other genres and just dont fit this mold the hiphop community wants. Look at all the hate Em gets! In Ocotober HH twitter had a fucking meltdown and started a hate fest trending about Em all because of a RUMOR he might drop an album. Even though Em has shown his skill and worth and been recognized by the other greats he'll always get hate and struggle. Just how it is. Kells grew up getting hated on for the same reasons as Em did when he started rapping so he should know by now that it's always gonna be like that and the best thing to do is just enjoy his craft and ignore the haters. Cuz they will always be there.

And don't worry! I'm never bothered by asks or someone wanting to chat about this kinda stuff. I'm not one to go out of my way and make big posts about my opinions just on their own so gives me a chance to rant ahaha. My inbox is ALWAYS open for a reason ♡♡

[splendidshinobi]

FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST 2003 LIVE REACT: EPISODES 11-15

 LETS GO ROUND 3

episode 11: the other brothers elric part 1

yeet this thing edward

ok who r these so called other brothers

“METAL FATHER”

this girl’s uncle is sus. he’s now known as uncle lemons.

THE STONE???? WHOS MAKING A STONE 

oh shit they got kicked to the curb

“THE REAL ELRIC BROTHERS???????” WHOSE ASS

i bet “alphonse” is the taller one

never mind

this twink is annoying

on your knees???????????????????????

ed plz

oh twink doesnt need a circle but doubtful he’s opened a portal of truth

he’s got philosopher’s juice instead i suppose!!

wheres mugear or whoever

oh found him

LUST <3

girly looks hot 

anyways

oh its uncle lemons

these townspeople are annoying as shit

wow what a parallel tragic backstory

operation mole hole

what is the cough sub plot

i have questions

hmm there we go thx fletcher

ugh the twink is back 

and now he’s an attempted murderer

OH FUCKKKKKKKK

great going twink your brother is gonna die

his villain origin story 

uhhh what? part 2 i guess

episode 12: the other brothers elric part 2

fletcher is a homie

ed’s window dive was so dramatic

i literally cannot tell you what the twink’s name is

he is just twink

mugear is suspicious 

he’s not even an alchemist??? bro

who is nash tringham

is he important other than in this specific episode arc

nash tringham and uncle lemons definitely got naughty back in the day

to be fair what is uncle lemons’ name? i do not know

like i cant be expected to remember every one bit character’s name? especially when i have all this other fma knowledge floating around in my head

MARCOH!!!!!!!

why is ed sitting in the tree like that

ed: “google earth...always taking pics”

what is this stone making process with pregnant ladies who thought of this

lets all throw mugear in a septic tank

sussssssss

edward is so unimpressed by this mans

HAHA yes edward my son

“it’s been a good while since i killed anyone. i kinda miss it.” EDWARD YOU KILL ME LMAOOO

uh oh he’s got a red water gun or somethin

so fletcher is the plant alchemist i see

twink’s name is RUSSELL????? how did i miss that

wooooooof sucks to suck mugear

thats A LOT of red water

fletcher’s alchemy is so weird

from the redwood forest to the gulf stream waterssss

what in tarnation is this boy doing

i guess we have another prodigy on our hands okayyyy

why do i feel like we’ll see the tringhams again

uncle lemons strikes again with LEMONS

whats in the letter????

from russell??? why r u so embarrassed edward

thats mighty homosexual of you good sir

episode 13: fullmetal vs flame

so this one is called fullmetal vs flame which makes me think theyre animating that bonus chapter??!!!??!!! yes!!!!!

colonel sarcasm?? nice ed

i too enjoy mocking roy toy

al found a cat

he definitely did

yup

um who’s yelling

probably mustang that dumpster fire of a man

BREDA!!!!!!!!!

black hayate!!!!!!! baby!!!!!!!

FUERY!!!!! he’s so small

breda is a mess omg

havoc is a mess too

kitty! “he called to me” precious al

these boys are a trainwreck 

oh sad kitty flashback

mustang is such a freak 

yeaH i wondER if mustang knows marcoh hmmmmmm HMMM

“names not familiar” yeah sure baby all yall ishval war criminals know each other

ARMSTRONG!!! hey!!!

ummm wtf fuhrer bradley 

UM WHO IS THE LADY UM

hughes is a mESS

ed’s gremlin face gives me life

roy with hayate...im scared

take that dog away from him

yayayay bonus chapter fight scene!

shut up miniskirt man 

oh no take the mic away from hughes

“you just want a promotion!!!” “give back my girlfriend!!!” im dying

i too would love to put a fist in mustang’s face

“too slow” damn idk that was kinda hot

but no im still gonna kill him

he’s so stupid

this is so chaotic

oooh cut the glove yessss

ope never mind

oh great he’s getting flashbacks... well shit happens when you commit war crimes

“ehhh???”

oh hmm theyre saying ishBal in this one instead of ishVal

ill probably still write ishval im more used to that

oh no black hayate she’s gonna pop a cap ive seen this clip before

she did it

“strict mommy” oh um ok

poor kitty cat

scar IS heather

episode 14: destruction’s right hand

back in liore with some more amestrian war crimes on the docket for today

ayyy envy our favorite morally corrupt they/them

gluttony’s snack time

new op lets gooooo

im not vibing as much but hey its kinda poppin

oh hey armstrong what up baby

to be fair ed did meet marcoh with armstrong in manga canon so

hahaha no thats not the fullmetal alchemist...thats alphonse!!!

marcoh’s voice sounds different hold on 

yep different VA

dr marcoh’s alchemical oobleck 

oh hey basque grand u sexy mustachioed bootlicker you shouldnt be here

what the FUCK he’s a weapon of mass destruction

i wish so hard netflix let you screenshot so i could add pics for added value!!!

if philosophers stones fall under grand’s jurisdiction then he is VERY SUS

he aint it

ope hey scar 

this is an odd amalgamation of plot points

oops boy bye

ive always enjoyed scar’s CLEARLY adidas brand track pants

ummmm why did scar’s brother have BROWN hair

i- ok

i miss j michael tatum

ooooooh armstrong baby i was wondering where you were!

rose!!!! tell him!!! fuck u hakuro!!!!

trying to help?? dont make me laugh you’re a general in the amestrian military

episode 15: the ishbal massacre

kinda early for the ishval talk imo?? wonder what we’ll learn

armstrong is literally the buff rasputin trope on tiktok rn

“accidentally” shot an ishvalan child. hmm yeah no

envy just sneezed

HEY KIMBLEE YOU LITTLE SHIT

kimblee looks like christmas came early

they gave roy a stone??????? sounds noncanonical but ok

basque grand is literally wildin out fuck that guy

yuriy and sara’s skeletal remains just sneezed in the ground

wait a damn minute

wait a fucking minute

did roy

shoot

yuriy and sara

ROY SHOT WINRY’S PARENTS

and now hes gonna shoot himself

IM 

im taking a lap around my apartment OH MY GOD WHAT IN THE HELLLLLLLL

IM NEVER GOING TO RECOVER FROM THIS 

FINANCIALLY OR OTHERWISE

im texting my sister about it right now and just SCREAMING

OH NO NO NO MARCOH DO NOT TELL ED WHO KILLED THE ROCKBELLS

oh good he ran away

i literally CANNOT handle them finding out about this

ahaha roy shoots the gun in the air again

roy take that glove off its raining

riza’s leg sweep was way less funny this time

WAIT IT JUST OCCURRED TO ME THAT ROY WAS AT THE HOUSE AND SPOKE TO WINRY AND PINAKO

i mean hes no idiot he knew

what did marcoh just do to scar im confused

nothing will ever make sense to me again after what ive just witnessed

feral al lets gooo

so this episode’s events were pretty similar. other than marcoh.

AND THE FUCKING ROY MUSTANG ISSUE...,........... 

OH NOOOOOO 

MOMS VOICE???

MOMS VOICE????

episode 15 said hey bitch lets watch your world come CRASHING The FUCK DOWN

[faunusrights]

OFFAL HUNT REMASTERED LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 18

IN THIS EPISODE OF ROBLOX OOF NOISE:

“Yes.” Glynda couldn’t hang up, not without: “I’m—I’m sorry. About what I—”

“It’s alright. I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Okay—” The feed cut. Softly, Glynda said again, “Okay.”

GLYNDA DISCOVERS WHY BEING CINDER FALL SUCKS

do u know how hard it is to wake up and play animal crossing whilst knowing this chapter looms over yr shoulder,

OKAY HERE WE GO

She was fidgety; even Cinder mentioned her pacing, shooting a critical eye her way. Glynda sat, intent on stillness; moments later, Cinder mentioned her bouncing leg.

i LOVE it when a chapter calls me out just right out of the gate hahaha who gave u the right

"Really?" How long had they been doing that? How long ago had Cinder noticed? "Should I stay?"

cinder: maybe i should tell glynda abt that /see glynda pacing a dent into the floor cinder: ooooooor i could. NOT give her an excuse to bully them for something to do,

On her way down the street, Glynda couldn't help but stare at the car, its tinted windows revealing nothing within. As she passed it, she kept glancing over her shoulder, expecting an attack or something. But nothing came of it.

HJGDFSGSDFHKGHJDF GLYNDA,,,,,,,,,,, can u imagine being in the white fang, and sittin in yr fuckin. TINTED WINDOWED like BULLETPROOF CAR and yr sat on yr ass watching out for cinder “dumbass” fall and suddenly glynda goodwitch, The Top Bitch, comes out and starts GLARING YR CAR DOWN,,, like ah. i think she knows we’re here. hrm. hm.

i would just like. drive to mcdonalds and get some nuggies at that point.

She had a clutch of flash-images and a wash of emotions and impressions, the raw materials of memory, stored as-is without refining. She was quite used to that—most of her missions were hazy and rough in her memory, mere sketches of events.

i cant wait for glynda to become a vlogger if only so she can actually have physical proof of whatever the fuck happens whenever she goes out and about. get her a go-pro.

It told her: despite her restlessness, despite the arduous journey here, and despite the way Vale seemed to call for her from somewhere beyond the horizon, she felt quite content to be where she was.

the difference having a gf has huh,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, u got a whole ass home (being cased by the fang) a real nice city to live in (its floating and atlas wants yr number) a bunch of unread msgs (from a [redacted] who [redacted]) and its a nice day!!! its all coming together. but probably not for very long,

(i got very distracted at this point making a line graph for the animal crossing stalk market so here we go, x2 edition,)

That meant the nightlife would soon begin. She had never liked crowds; too many people, too much input at once. It was hard to focus, to be comfortable.

/chefs kiss

autistic glynda did u kno: id die for u,

Since she’d blocked Ozpin’s number, there was no chance of receiving anything directly from him—but there was still a moment of pause each time she checked her Scroll, as if expecting his smiling face to appear somehow.

OH YEAH LMAO SHE DID THAT SHIT HUH,,,,,,,,,, i still cannot BELIEVE that happened. GOD. cant wait for this to bite her entire ass right off her body,

By the time she reached the top landing, Winter had replied: “I wasn’t aware that you had additional support on this mission, Professor. I will need their full name and Hunter’s license number.”

To answer Cinder Fall and she doesn’t have a license, but she does have several warrants for her arrest felt like inviting Winter to question not only her integrity, but her sanity as well.

SDHGJFKSKGHDJFGJHDKF i cant say what makes this funnier because 👈😎👈 but HOHOHOHOOOOO could u imagine the fallout if she did just, say that shit. if we just went and fuckin said it like it was no biggie--

Finally, Glynda let her shoulders relax, exhaling deeply, like she would before rushing a Grimm. She wrote it plainly: “The clearance is for Cinder Fall.”

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

MA’AM WHAT THE F U C K

winter rn:

She’d just have to wriggle her way out of having to talk face-to-face, then return the game to a field she felt slightly more comfortable with: text.

okay this is so funny to me cause i just keep thinking of her sending ‘no reason’ to oz. a MASTER of textual conversion. un fucking PARALLELED in this field, UNRIVALLED,

Glynda tossed a look at the door as well, her mouth pulling into a line; what if Cinder came outside? What if—

Could Winter track her exact position using her Scroll signal? She minimized the projection of Winter’s face and hurried off in a random direction the instant she hit the bottom of the stairs.

i LOVE these two because this is the first time we’ve rly seen glynda like. Actively do smthng to defend cinder in this sort of way? she’s been pretty passivve abt letting cinder take the lead when theyre together but on her own shes thinking of all the contingencies to make sure winter cant find cinder and u know what. thats gay. what will u do for yr not-gf when yr talking to someone who would kick her ass in a hot second,

also im TAKING to grab choice lines here to comment upon but honestly this next section is SO GOOD that im rly struggling to find a line to encapsulate how much i am LOVING this convo. i cant say exactly WHY im loving it because again thats 👈😎👈 BUT KNOW THAT THIS IS VERY GOOD FOOD AND I AM ENJOYING IT. and im also enjoying this line a lot

Winter’s voice was decisive: “Professor, if you hang up on me, I am flying to your location—tonight.”

winter: if y’all dont shut the fuck up back there i am turning this car, city, and continent AROUND,

It was the same thing, over and over: people didn’t understand her and she didn’t understand them. It was an exercise in futility that only gave her grief. In the end, she gave up on trying to explain herself. She resigned to being wrong, to always being wrong, even when she knew she wasn’t.

OOF OKAY WHAT THE HELL IS UP W/ THIS FIC AND CALLOUTS. HUH??? ME BITCH!!! I FEEL THAT!! AND IT SUCKS,

/reads the next bit

oh are we donning our tinfoil hats? we’re donning our tinfoil hats.

It was so easy. Glynda didn’t stumble over her words even once; didn’t waver. She was built for doing harm. Her anger burned hot and clean; it excised all the hurt like a malignant tumor.

Maybe she really had learned something from Cinder—channeling her frustration, her guilt, her pain, all of it into anger like this was something Glynda was new to. But it felt good. She leaned into it, letting it take the reins; the distressing memories vanished like wisps of smoke, vaporized by the heat of her wrath.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS god this is. SO EXCITING. i also love it when ppl rub off one one another its my FAV thing in the WORLD and this anger is. WOO. this anger is. DANDY. its also a very short-term burst of pleasure glynda so enjoy that hollowed-out whoopsie feeling that i sure get when i Blow Up,

“She butchered my friend!” Winter snarled, the camera shaking as she slapped the desk. “She butchered my friend in the streets like he was cattle! And I have done everything in my power to help you! Everything! To keep her from doing the same to you, and you’ve blown me off or lied or—” Winter’s voice snagged. “And now you tell me—you accuse me—”

It was early evening in Umbraroot, but it must already be night in Atlas. The shadows revealed the unclean angles of Winter’s face: the bruises of exhaustion under her eyes, the lines of stress at the corners of her mouth.

im sorry im just copy-pasting wholesale at this point but OH this is GOOD. i cant rly explain. like. the difference-- because you’d think from the og version this is just a bit more flavouring right? its like getting a bit of hot sauce on yr chicken wings and yr like ‘okay it adds smthng but its not like a side meal’ BUT IT IS A SIDE MEAL this is like a whole basket of fuckin. cheese-baked fries. winter DESERVES this screentime she DESERVES to have presence in this fic and OH does she USE IT im LIVINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

Glynda wanted anger. She wanted fire and brimstone. She wanted a fight.

What she got was the glisten of tears on pale lashes. A hand covering Winter’s trembling mouth.

The ashy taste of remorse in her throat.

THERES THAT HOLLOWED-OUT WHOOPSIE FEELING!!!!!!!!!!!!! THERE IT IS RIGHT ON TIME. its like CLOCKWORK,

She didn’t have anything. Nothing against that. The possibility that Winter might truly care what happened to her had been so insignificantly small and easy to trample. She had forgotten about the losses Winter shouldered the moment Cinder had whispered inheritance.

it’s just like clockwork,

also this chapter feels lengthy but maybe its just cause i got distracted with animal crossing so ill have to do a wordcount check at the end

/checks

no its lengthy this is a thicc one,

“I know,” Glynda said. “I know. I know how this sounds. But she’s the only person who makes me feel like—like I make sense.” In her mind, Glynda lay in the darkness of Cinder’s bedroom, watching the glaze of streetlights along her lips as she said you.

you,,,,,,,,, we,,,,,,,,,,,, our,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, its all that gay shit,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

“If I’ve learned anything, it’s that Cinder Fall is a tremendous liar. She could convince you it is raining in Vacuo, given enough time. Two years ago, I was working on the Argus base, where I met her as a client; she told me she was a merchant seeking entrance into Atlas—she had all her documents in order, her entire persona set up, and she sold it perfectly. She was flawless—and all of it was fake. She gave me no reason to doubt her. She was—”

Winter cut herself off, abruptly. Then: “Once I was comfortable and safe, she burned down my office and murdered my friend.”

YES,,, SLOWLY THE LORE PIECES TOGETHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! winter is once bitten twice shy, but mayhaps we mean,,, once burnt,,,, twice shy,,,,,,,,,, hrmmmm,

Glynda told Winter everything.

OH MAN,,,, we’re really getting this messy fucking trio up in this bitch i am SO excited. i am THRILLED. here! we! go!!!!!!!!!! also i said it before but again im so glad winter gets to Be Here for this. sure this has nothing to do w/ her destiny or w/e but shes here now. shes in the uber. she waiting outside.

The dying potted plant Glynda had spotted last time on the back wall’s shelf had been replaced with a new one; this one’s leaves were beginning to shrivel at the ends.

dsfjhhkljsdf side note: is this like that scene in finding nemo where all the new fish see the niece and go ‘oh no we’re gonna die’ but instead its plants getting taken into winters office? they go ‘im sorry, mate, but once you go into her office, you come out TOTALLY dead,’

okay so this whole convo happened and if i try to pick one section ill end up picking it all AAAAAAAAAAAAAA im dying out here. WINTER BLEASE,,, BELIEVE THAT SOMETIMES CINDER CAN TELL A HALF-LIE. A SORTA-TRUTH. A SEMI-HEMI-DEMI HONESTY,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

How different would that mission have gone? How different would her life have been?

She found herself saying, “He had so many chances to tell me. Instead, he let me think I was reckless. That I was a danger to other people. I stopped working in teams. I didn’t have many people in my life to begin with, but afterwards was worse. He saw to it that he was all I had, and he let me think it was my fault.”

ROBLOXOOFNOISEDISTORTEDWITHDELAY.MP4

OOF!!!!!!! O O F!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! honestly OOF that shit HURTS BITCH!!!!!!! thats BANANAS. WILD. im also loving (hating???) the increase of painful glynda lore and honestly everyone feels like they have So Much More that builds them up and im THRIVING off it. im also suffering for it.

With the video feed closed, Glynda could see she had new notifications. Missed calls. From Cinder.

Glynda’s stomach lurched. She stowed her Scroll before she could think about them.

At the mouth of the alley, she could see the shape of Cinder’s apartment in the distance. She stood there for a long time, staring, uncertain what to do with her hands, unsure what to do with her heart. Her jaw flexed. She remembered the tears on Winter’s lashes. The friend she’d lost.

Glynda took her first step toward the apartment.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA and so the soft domestic shit ends. but nowhere near as explosively as id thought???????? HUH. H U H. must b because we’re gearing up for smthng honk honk honk

ANYWAY!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. this chap was SO good its astonishing (despite the [several] times i got distracted by animal crossing rip me). WINTER!!!!!!!! BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!! i cant believe this disaster trio is coming together. also cant wait for glynda to tell cinder the shit she just pulled. oh no,

(also the wordcount was 5,931. just in case u were curious)

[theskyexists]

she-ra 4

the reason i stopped watching she-ra is the same reason i stopped watching the dragon prince.

the narrative doesn’t take the situation seriously. instead of leaning into the anguish of war and violence (atla, teen titans) - they make light of it. EVEN when the characters’ guardians are KILLED!!

when Angella died and they spent 2 seconds on Glimmer’s grief at the end of season 3 i was like......actually fuck this. HOW can i take any of these stakes seriously when they insist on brushing them off???

anyway just had to complain about that - especially because the start of the first ep of 4 is them joking AGAIN about something as grim as Glimmer now carrying all the responsibilities of her mother - who may i remind you IS DEAD

but catradora became canon apparently so now i have to struggle through

her aunt, her mother’s sister, is fuckin, joking about cakes, her friends are laughing at the joke. COME ON! how goddamn unrealistic and insensitive. EVEN if they wanna make a point of it - it’s silly! because the narrative PARTICIPATES in making light of the situation. if it was just the characters it would be less jarring

‘we’ll make sure this day is perfect’  WHAT? how could it EVER BE IF HER MOTHER IS FUCKING DEAD????????? AND THAT”S THE ONLY REASON SHE’S QUEEN????? ‘must be hard’ YEAH IT’S HARD - IN FACT IMPOSSIBLE. instead of pretending to be happy maybe you can show some genuine sensitivity. these people are so crazily emotionally underdeveloped my god. what age are they supposed to be? 16? 17? The problem that She-ra has (just like the dragon prince) is that there are no relevant adults. Oh sure there’s a Queen, and some Soldiers, and a Sorceress. But there isn’t a single relevant competent adult around who is concerned with running a bureaucracy or the emotional stability of children

I do like how Catra has overcome her fear of Hordak. but i think i remember being fuckin furious at her for almost destroying the whole world and hurting Scorpia and betraying Entrapta just to spite Adora. vaguely.

the rebellions problem is that they’re all extremely stupid himbos. like literally, in the whole story, only catra and shadowweaver have any smarts, while glimmer gains the ability to think during full moons on wednesdays. meanwhile everybodys is a slave to their emotions - which destroys any brain cells that shadowweaver or catra (or angella or anyone) might have managed. they could literally have killed hordak the entire time but just let him order them around because they’re so hot for acknowledgement

I’m glad Glimmer reflects my frustrations now hahahahaah

‘everyone is already acting like she doesn’t matter’  - yeah dudes, you fucking insensitive bastards

‘im supposed to take care of you glimmer’ - but unfortunately i have the emotional intelligence of a crab! FUCK!

this is another thing about this show that makes me groan. sappy quick resolutions of emotional turmoil through re-affirming the fuckin power of friendship in the first episode of the season.

also couldn’t Adora have done this she-ra stuff from the very beginning

that was badass.....miss glimmer’s other hair though. ok the emotions at that hologram and statue though...

the coolest part of she-ra for me is finding out more how the ancient systems all fit into Etheria and the She-Ras and Hordak Prime etc.

THIS IS A GOOD SPEECH. love this badass.

love Hordak getting put in his place. Love Catra realising she has power - love Hordak reaping what he sows. its unfortunate that she’s a shitty brat who JUST can’t get over her inferiority complex

if i could endlessly teleport i would do what glimmer does

also, glimmer was willing to fuckin murder catra before and she DEFINITELY will be now lol. love that for her.

why did they only introduce adora learning to transform her sword NOW ahahaha, theyve had SO MANY SCENES in which she doesnt have it and then suddenly does - and then its gone again

scorpia is the funniest and most likeable person in the whole show

they really suddenly can’t take five people on with she ra and fuckin huntara on their side??

i remember that little sadistic righteous twist in my stomach when Adora finally was like: FUCK!!!!!! YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! Catra!!!!!!! and the stupid idiot got it

FINALLY A GLANCE AT THE PEOPLE OF ETHERIA AGAIN! i love the party sequences in this!!! the people of etheria are so beautiful! nobody ever comments on the main characters all looking plain human in contrast....

‘and i fell for it!’  yeah cos you DUMB AS BRICKS ADORA

so first they quietly take out the guards....and then literally break open the door hahaahahahahaaha

‘we forgot the bots regenerate’ - yeah cos you DUMB AS BRICKS ADORA

i just dont understand why they insist on making the main characters so DUMB ahahahahaah

Adora and Catra are great at hitting where it hurts. the difference between them is that Catra KNOWS that she’s hurting Adora - she does it deliberately.

wow that could be some pretty angsty stuff constantly leaving her to struggle on the floor while painfully electrocuted. Catra has also moved to kill Adora straight up so many times. im sure she really wants to (but it would destroy her later). But now, Adora swept something at Catra that might have actually killed her. I get Catra though, I would’t want to get beaten by some blonde, blue-eyed, glowing golden kid who always gets to win and do better. this is truly the first time Adora has moved to kill Catra......

does flatterina not have parents who’d be like: uhhhhh maybe leave the soldiering for a couple more years?

catra truly burning all her bridges. hahaha. it’s so satisfying to see her use her anger and power to truly destroy herself - because of guilt!

no other villagers were like - HMMMMMMM this random new kid is here? weird..... i didnt see that coming either.

Adora doesn’t think about what Catra might have even been doing there - cos she’s DUMB AS BRICKS

the interesting thing about this show is that they’re setting up a dichotomy. they’re treating war like a high-stakes game because they have the good side adhere to an aesthetic of ....magic. they will not make the two sides equivalent in any way - which makes questions of morality moot. the show is purely an emotional drama. the horde is an army of brainwashed kids in an industrial wasteland - they fight with tech and guns. but the good guys cannot fight with an army or tech, they fight with cleverness and magic. they’re called the ‘rebellion’ - they HAVE to be underdogs because they have to follow the script of good - even though what’s really going on is war, not a rebellion. That’s why they have a single strike team that do ‘missions’. They are presented as FUNDAMENTALLY different - on the level of identity which they cannot change lest they destroy themselves - and in that way the good guys can never become the bad guys. it is ALMOST meta. think they’re gonna do something with that at one point. i hope

also Netossa has such a super cool design.

‘everyone knows you’re needed in bright moon’ - uh. really? i dont know. some random person i’ve never seen before demands you go to meetings. so? is that important? why?

spinerella can literally FLY???????? why has she been in the background this whole time??? hahahaha military inefficiency.

there was an explosion that ripped trees apart - but bo’s alive!! honesty why didn’t they try explosive suicide bots before. they’re very lucky he was still alive to heal

‘could they be tracking she-ra?’ WHAT? isn’t the obvious suggestion - A SPY???? they just assume that the general is right hahahahaa.

i love how double trouble is so meta.

actually, why wasn’t glimmer trained as a sorcerer anyway?

glimmer is upset about her growing magic plants but not her having magic ingredients

why do they present good strategic thinking (for once) as evil influence from shadowweaver

what a fuckin badass. honestly - glad that this show finally utilised glimmer’s extremely op powers like they should be. honestly, she’s much more powerful than She-Ra.

that bit with spinerella was so contrived jfc.

‘by using me as a decoy’ adora says, pissed off. uhhhh YOU went off on your own to get smushed by fuckin bots adora. Glimmer didn’t do that to you. she just used your stupidity.

glimmer really left catra to die. hahahahaa

i like adora best when she’s on her own and being a dork

they definitely managed to foreshadow that Light Hope was evil but im glad they picked up the thread now

am i seeing this wrong or did scorpia have two mums??? but also. where the fuck are they

lolololololol because everybodys dumb as bricks and emotionally volatile they’re incredibly easy to manipulate

‘i cant risk hitting flatterina’ pffft - ALL YOUR ARROWS ARE NON-LETHAL BO. ugh i cant deal with these contrived stakes

I LOVE THIS BADASS EFFICIENT HARDCORE GLIMMER

they’re really gonna spin it like this is a bad development? fuck off. finally some grit.

‘you took things way too far’ - but she got results! dumb as bricks adora

(this may seem harsh but adora is DUMB shes so fucking DUMB!!!! and she has many good qualities (such as an almost innate sense of morality) but goddamn. i guess its good to sometimes have a show about all around dumb characters. i mean, it’s not unrealistic per se, it’s just.....weird.)

the interesting thing about these characters is that you can SEE every single one of them struggling with cognitive dissonance. thats the big story of this show. they see the world a certain way - and then when something challenges that, they fight to the death to destroy or deny or ignore that new information - to everybody’s detriment. and they can’t back down because every step they’ve taken - would turn to sins they can’t live with. it’s interesting and its also a kind of conflict that‘s frustrating if not resolved at SOME point. thats why i love this season for its characters going off the rails. adora aiming to kill catra, catra destroying her last relationships, glimmer growing more and more militant.

they’re all acting like teens - that  is - highly volatile - unable to keep from provoking others or be provoked - but they ARE teens.

‘catra doesn’t care. she’ll hurt people to get her way (implied: EVEN people on her side)’ - we must remember that Scorpia was entirely fine with KILLING the trio (it was Catra that wasn’t at the time).

‘you’re a bad friend’ OH OUCH. Catra - who’s always been treated as a whipping girl by those in power - does the same to those she is in power over. But on some level she doesn’t WANT to be that. she’s just always always been rejected and take advantage of and lashed out at and abandoned by the people she considered important (shadowweaver ---- doing the same to catra that was done to her is so goddamn....it’s the story of this show. the simplicity and banality of damaging and hurting others and that carrying over to harm even more people - is the story of this show and it’s immeasurably frustrating and REALISTIC)

she still flinches at Hordak’s lashing out. but she imprints on him the exact lesson she’s trying to school herself in. If you don’t need anybody - you don’t want anyone - if nobody matters but the mission and winning - then you can’t be hurt. she wants to prove her worth - but she doesn’t realise that inherently means that she’s putting somebody in power over her - again and again and again.

mermista coming  in clutch with the braincells: there’s a spy! I love how this is played as completely implausible and just Mermista nonsense (who i love learning about) - while it’s so obviously true/

i actually love Adora when she’s being serious and heroic, or a huge dork. and she has the wit to RECOGNISE good ideas. but i just don’t understand why Adora is being big b about being used as a distraction. like....why?

i love that the underside of Mermista’s sneaker has a figure. but why the fuck is a common soldier with them (flatterina) and do they really think they can interrogate the whole castle filled with some shitty guards and...what - the guerilla troops they sometimes employ? where do they even live? ah in a tent city. ok

why is the GENERAL in front line combat WITHOUT SOLDIERS???? oh wait. glimmer did that too when she was general. lolololol

i understand why Adora doesn’t trust Shadowweaver and doesn’t want her around most of all - and Glimmer getting buddy buddy with her is hurtful. but...it’s not helpful to needle glimmer about it. but dismissing the guards around shadowweaver however? stupid of Glimmer. unnecessary. ‘what has she done but help us?’ - uhhhh she kidnapped you, corrupted your powers, almost wiped Adora’s mind. I wish Adora had summed up those things instead of leaving them implied.

so perfuma and mermista come across inconsistencies in the stories - but then. forget about it? i just...... UGGHGHGHGHGHGHGH. people really aren’t this dumb are they? they’re just NOT.

‘no more secrets and doing things without us’ - that was a good speech. but like, glimmer is right - she’s surrounded by INCOMPETENT IDIOTS lolololol. but good leadership is corralling idiots, Glimmer. not going off on your own. but she’s already planted the bait about the dining room.

‘we were the only ones who knew about the plan to take back dril’ ---- THEN WHY DID YOU INTERROGATE OTHER PEOPLE AHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHA

‘stop questioning my choices, stop whining about being a decoy’ YEAH FUCKIN HELL ADORA STOP BEING SUCH A FUCKING SHIT. IS THIS REALLY ‘TAKING CARE OF GLIMMER’????

‘all you do is question my authority, it’s exhausting.’ yeah god...it really is. adora needs to fucking BACK! OFF! but im loving these fights because it brings out the grievances. Adora is right to be worried about Glimmer no longer including her in her decisions. and she makes a good point that that’s bad. She makes a good point that Shadowweaver cannot be trusted. And Glimmer makes zero good points - except that it’s been hard for her and has garnered 0.1% understanding from the people around her. Oh they were working together. BUT those were definitely real grievances.

GLIMMER CAN ALREADY DO A CONTAINMENT SPELL LIKE THAT??? godDAMN. castapella completely flunked her responsibilities to Glimmer but shadowweaver did NOT.

hmmm so Solinius was....destroyed. but like, did the people die? like....the people? that’s the important bit isn’t it? i mean, they were under the sea right?

i suppose the problem i also have is that this show will NOT hurry up. normally i love filler stuff but ...the characters are too.....cheery. too flat. their quirks are fun and funny until they’re literally character flaws.

are the horde just literally attacking civilians? jezus. the war crimes. how did shadowweaver ever expect to trick Adora when she was released into the field?

‘you can’t just keep going off on your own!’ - SHE LITERALLY SAVED THE WHOLE FUCKING TOWN. SHE’S THE QUEEN! EVERYBODY SHOULD LISTEN TO HER! lolololol

the problem with Adora’s points is that everything about their dynamics are always so nebulous. why cant glimmer keep showing up to help out? WHY??? she’s the most capable fucking soldier in the field! she’s supposed to have full fucking authority! like, Adora isn’t in the right here. the problem is that her needling is only a symptom of her worries - which is that Glimmer doesn’t trust her any more. but the needling does NOTHING but make her seem like an idiot

i do love this trope reversal here - Seahawk deliberately damselling them to let the princesses save the boys? pffft

love catra getting the consequences for her actions regarding Scorpia. You can’t keep lashing out at people and expect them to stay my dear cat.....

oooohhh Glimmer.... you’re treading close to very hurtful territory. Blaming Adora for the Rebellion failing? for things she couldn’t do anything about? stupid.

really?? you’re really gonna fucking fight-resolution BLOCK ME? are you FUCKING kidding me? edging me for the whole GODDAMN SEASON??? and finally Adora cries at Glimmer going over the line????  fuckin I HATE the narrative decisions in this stupid show I FUCKING HATE THEM FUCK THESE WRITERS GOD FUKCING DAMMIT!!! this has been the whole GODDAMN SHOW!!!!!! ARGHGHGHGHGHGH

i’ve been waiting for a fucking resolution for Adora and Catra the whole! goddamn! SHOW! NOTHING! else matters! you do the exact same for glimmer and adora and now you let it fester again??? because of some no-stakes BULLSHIT? just give me the fucking godddamn PAYOFF for watching these kids be IDIOTS.

this fight on the boat is COOL and really wonderfully animated

really? Glimmer’s response to Adora being hurt and not wanting to be TOUCHED is to be angry herself? what a fucking IDIOT. god i can’t stand this. I CAN’T STAND IT

is this how people act? do they never take a moment to breathe and think and reflect and realise their priorities and take a step back and fucking apologise?

jezus FUCKING! CHRIST!

‘no matter what glimmer thinks of me’ oh that HURTED. oh damn. that’s so relatable. it’s a way to run, it’s a way to internalise the hurt and then prove the things that hurt wrong. the one that hurt you

I know Bo is supposed to be the emotionally intelligent one but he’s also too soft. He should go up to his friends individually and ask them the sharp questions. not - ‘communicate more positively’.

I just like Adora so much better when she’s alone. Her friendships’ positive moments are always so sappy or so....like over-exaggerated, the negative moments always so fucking annoying. Alone, Adora is generally driven, tragic, and cool. the problem is perhaps that i don’t care for the constant fucking drama

god i LOVE Mara so much - she’s so beautiful. and i LOVE learning more about the Old Ones. So they were trying to study Ehteria’s magic.... but then Bright Moon and the princesses were already here. The Magic-Like systems of the Old Ones are pure tech.

wow! even Mara’s transformation is way cooler.

so why was the first one’s tech (she ra) responsive to the magic? why does Raz know about She-Ra? when she ra is first ones tech????

WAIT ONE SECOND. She-Ra is ‘magic’ ??? it’s the SWORD that’s the first one’s tech! She-Ra is Etheria’s magic ! but how if the First Ones chose Mara. Did they steal She-Ra from Etheria?

so what im getting is that. the Old Ones colonised Etheria. Etheria has magic, and when Mara was chosen they made that girl an elite soldier - giving her a first one’s tech sword so she could ‘control’ Etheria’s magic. Then Mara was told to study the magic of Etheria - the ship implying that she’d not been on the planet before. then they created a Heart of Etheria project - which will probably turn the magic into a weapon. this was going to be used against Hordak Prime, im sure. I mean, Mara saved Etheria, but she did doom the rest of the universe to...extinction.... like, judging from Hordak’s strategy, Hordak Prime just literally exterminates planets and repopulates them with his clones....

But why would the planet choose a girl from amongst the colonisers - twice?

OOOHHH that anguished scream. i love anguished screams

why dont they put fucking safety belts in these ships. it’s not like the ship didn’t survive. only Mara got splatted (i guess)

also i love Mara. but damn Adora just got some more shit on her plate. why the fuck was she pushed through a portal again? for a She-Ra chain reaction?

I love madame Raz.

So they didn’t explicitly use it against Hordak Prime. and it wouldn’t have destroyed Etheria back then but it will now...

guh this showmakes it so hard to enjoy catra’s pain.

well they did finally have a good talk about it. I have to say, Glimmer is making good strategic sense - it’s just that this show only rewards harebrained schemes

Catra having a crazy panic attack cos she can’t find Scorpia and she’s completely lost and she knows its her fault. kinda love that for her. my heart

my dear Glimmer, theres a difference between absence of trust and absence of agreement.

they’re bringing king micah back just when angella is dead? oh fuckin lol

the horde....exiled micah? they exiled Micah instead of killing him???

why do they ALWAYS interrupt important conversations? i hate that shit. it’s cheap. it’s unsatisfying.

now THIS is what im here for - that unstoppable WILL!! john gonzalez is right - we watch stories for characters overcomign obstacles. writing, is creating the obstacle course. .....what does that say about me and my life....hmmm.

‘light hope told me everything i need to know’ - uhhh no she didn’t. she didn’t tell you how to harness the energy at all. ugh

how the fuck did double trouble escape. seems to me that they didn’t actually. they were let go....

it’s always so stupid when people try to tell other people: oh no you’ve got no plan - this is too risky! when that’s NEVER a problem

Glimmer is going to activate the weapon just in time for Hordak Prime to use it. And naturally she misses the return of her dad. fuck this

they’re gonna have Hordak and Catra fight? hmm

Double Trouble is right - this IS good for her - and it IS Catra - except for Shadowweaver’s case - she was an abusive bitch

I love Scorpia’s new cool fight music and also glowy eyes

is glimmer going to throw herself into lava??

the unfortunate thing is that Hordak Prime is right on the doorstep and he took over the whole universe or whatever. so they could probably have used that weapon. i mean the Old Ones must have seen something coming. there must be a reason they’re all GONE maybe????

why did Adora assume that all those stars would be destroyed?

THE ANIMATION ON THAT FINAL STUFF WAS INCREDIBLE AND EPIC

how the fukc are they going to beat Horde Prime lolololol.

i guess Glimmer really shouldn’t have done that. but at least she was in time to bond with Catra.

[bigskydreaming]

fhalkfhaklfhlkak i hate this

TW really truly literally ruined the word ‘spark’ for me. Like the whole damn word. I hear it now and I’m like, NOPE, like...idk, some people who cringe when they hear the word moist or panties. Apologies to anyone who hates those words and cringed, i dont actually know if thats a thing or if like, I just have weird friends. Probably just the latter.

But anyways, Im just like...lmfao. Its so visceral too? Like I have this one original project, Waveriders, that I’ve been fiddling with off and on in the background of other projects for awhile, might have talked about it on here, idk, I don’t keep track. 

Basically its a far future sci-fi novel/setting for linked shorter works set on a gas giant that was settled by humans who figured that they can’t possibly be stepping on anyone’s toes there, its a freaking gas giant, hello, no one’s home, right? They literally have to make their own ground by using technology to form anti-gravity wells in the habitable zone of the atmosphere and like, make floating cities and then these kind of buoys scattered across the planet that create these electromagnetic currents that flow in specific ‘routes’ between the cities, and people travel between them in these flying ships that use magnetized hulls and solar sails to ride these currents, and blah blah blah, yada yada yada, bc like, why would I resist an opportunity to have floating cities and sky pirates and ancient cyborg machine dragons? Doesn’t make sense. 

Anyway, so couple thousand years after settling this planet, and by then for Plotty Reasons there are people who have what’s called waveriding abilities, like they can ‘hack’ certain wavelengths or types of energy and manipulate them in various ways, but only one kind of energy per person, and they each have their own little names and niches. 

So, y’know, basically just like ATLA, except for like, its energy powers and there are cyborg machine dragons and floating cities and sky pirates, obvsly. Plus areas of totally fucked up gravity called the badlands that are all like, criminal underworld metropolis because normal people are like lol nope, we like it when up is up and down is down, all of this is very just...nope. And also because shocking and totally unexpected plot twist, they were totally wrong about the planet being uninhabited just cuz it didn’t have Earth type ground...like, so in addition and on top of and in conjunction with all of the above and whatnot, there are these beings called Chaos Angels, that are basically like sentient quantum waveforms that can take any shape or appearance, but just, have no physical substance and yet are really good at faking that they’re not totally there when they fuck with humans, which they do a lot, because well. Why not, y’know?

But other than that, its exactly like ATLA. I’m a derivative hack. I disgust myself, truly I do.

BUT the point of this particular synaptic misfire aka ADHD ramble, is that so, okay, these different types of not!benders are all called waveriders as an overall umbrella term, but with ten different subsets of this in total, right? So people who can ‘hack’ light and manipulate it in various ways are called brightriders, and people who are tuned into soundwaves are called echo-riders, and some can manipulate the more electricity-skewed side of the electromagnetic spectrum and those are shockriders and the ones who skew more to the magnetic side are steelriders but I’m probably gonna change that because it sounds like a porno? Yeah no, just saw it outside of my notes for the first time and can confirm, definitely sounds like a porno so they’re not gonna be called steel-riders, but they will be called something steel-rider-esque. You get it.

And then there are the five weird ones that people aren’t totally quite sure how their waveriding shticks work because the kinds of energy they hack aren’t like....the kinds that work in the same way as the others with their easily discernible and patternistic wavelengths, and scientists and scholars are always arguing like but skyriders aren’t even in the same FIELD as the other waverider types because gravity isn’t even an actual ENERGY, just because we talk about gravity waves doesn’t mean they’re remotely the same thing as lightwaves, they make no SENSE, and I’m just like hahaha, I am your god, fictional scientists. Fucking deal with it. Plus it does make sense, you just don’t know the Secret Rules and Logistics that I do, pfft. 

Anyway, so the other types are boomriders who hack kinetic energy and skyriders of course obviously manipulate gravity, and then the last three are really weird, and super rare and thus don’t really have set names and just have lots of nicknames and are often just thought to be rumors. So those are the bio-riders who manipulate chemical energy though it often gets mistakenly referred to or just handwaved as being ‘life energy’ as though that’s a thing, ugh future way advanced people are so dumb sometimes, honestly. But so they can manipulate biological processes in various ways and do things with healing and also hurting, and basically just don’t piss one off ever. Like. You’ll die. And then there’s the psi-riders, who are essentially psychics and hack brainwaves, and I’m not at all bitter that I lack the balls to just go for broke and call them ghost riders like I want to, because ghost riders obviously sounds way cooler?? But also, Marvel would definitely sue?? Because they’re just, like that. 

And like, the last of the Weird Ones are the ones so super rare and also so hard to actually....tell if someone actually IS one, that most people think they don’t actually even exist and are just an unsubstantiated like, theoretical idea some scientist had once while high and then just, never shut up about so eventually the idea caught on. And those are the quantum-riders, or luck-riders, basically they theoretically manipulate quantum wavelengths in ways that are almost impossible to identify, like theoretically they wouldn’t even know they were doing it? Anyway, so lots of times, what are actually quantum-riders are just jealously thought to be like, really fucking lucky assholes. Even though the way their powers work really don’t have anything to do with luck or even probability, specifically, like that’s a simplistic approximation and its more like they manipulate possibilities but also shut up me, nobody cares.

ANYWAY, people who can count and who actually bothered to would probably notice by now like the funky little geniuses they are that all of those still only adds up to nine. And that’s because of the last one, the one that SHOULD go up in the brightrider, shockrider, notpornIswear!steel-rider hierarchy or taxidermy or whatever the fuck. And these are the ones who manipulate what’s essentially thermal energy, or more accurately the microwave-skewing side of the ultraviolet spectrum whereas brightriders are just the ones who skew more to the infrared side of it.

And the long and short of all of this Unnecessary-ness and the source of my fit of pique and ensuing ramble-palooza....is that ORIGINALLY, they were SUPPOSED to be called sparkriders.

But OBVIOUSLY I can’t call them that anymore, because like. I tried, and I was like ugh you drama queen slash whiny pissbaby, it was just a shitty teen supernatural show and SPARK WAS NEVER EVEN CANON, do not let THEM win and ruin a perfectly good classification name! But I did. I did let it ruin them, and its. Well. Its a problem, because I kept thinking up ways to kill off the sparkrider characters for absolutely no reason at all instead of like....thinking up ways to make the plot do what it was outlined to do in their parts of the story.

This may come like, way out of left field, and just SHOCK and STUN and BEWILDER some of you, like....no way, srsly? But yeah, true story, among my many canon mental neuroses like ADHD, PTSD, magical depression hour and super fun anxiety like....there is a tiny possibility (aka actual diagnosis) that while I don’t talk about this much, or ever really, I do have a smidge of ye old OCD? Its not like, a big thing and doesn’t really affect my daily routines and that’s pretty much why I never usually bring it up or list it alongside the rest of the crap on my neurodivergence resumé or whatever, because like, there’s already WAY too many misconceptions out there about what OCD actually is and what constitutes it, and tons of people are always jokingly but also thinking they’re kinda half serious, like ‘oh I’m so OCD about this and this and that’ and its like. LOL. Are you though? You sure?

Anyway, but point being, the way mine manifests for me is like...not actually a problem? Like, I don’t actually have any REAL complaints about it at all, just half-assed little fits of pique ones like this, which is the other part of why I never bring it up, because too often ppl just can’t fathom that OCD or even any kind of neurodivergence can be...WANTED, or a good thing, and lololol, that’s ableism, folks. But its true, I don’t actually mind mine at all, even if it occasionally makes things frustrating, when I get stuck like I am now. But the flip side of it is....its actually a pretty huge part of my creativity and just the way my mind works in general....like, what people accredit to me being particularly insightful about character analysis or drawing connections or stuff like that in meta or fics or my novels or worldbuilding...that’s what it is. That’s my OCD in action. 

My brain like...REQUIRES that I find patterns in....pretty much everything. Even day to day mundane stuff too, though like I said, its mild enough there that it doesn’t fuck with my routines too much, but like, I have to order things into nice, neat patterns and groupings. And if there aren’t any that are immediately obvious, I kinda pretty much HAVE to dig deeper until I find some on a slightly deeper level, something beneath the surface or first glance, and keep going until I find something.....or worst case scenario, I have to like....add stuff and embellish and fill in gaps with my own ‘content’ until I have the rough edges rounded off into something that CAN be stacked neatly atop some other part of the story or whatever it is I’m focusing on? And the obsessive-compulsive part for me is like, lol, I gotta find it SOMEWHERE, SOMEHOW. 

My brain literally won’t shut off or grudgingly accept being diverted to a different subject until I’ve made some kind of pattern or flowchart or classification system. It will literally keep me up for hours, going over the same things over and over from every angle until I find SOME way to....reassemble or restructure it in some nice, neat little order of some type. I mean that’s basically what it is. My brain insists on me forming some semblance of order out of any glimpse I have of what I would otherwise term creative chaos. And it won’t give up until it gets what it wants, which when you throw in my ADHD and how often I’ll get derailed off on slight tangents but with my OCD then sooner or later forcing me back to the original focus, rinse and repeat ad nauseam....like. LOL. I learned to operate on very little sleep from a pretty young age by necessity, its just...my brain, dudes. Its just like that.

But the perks are like, I pretty much think this is WHY I’m so creative....because my brain, for as long as I can remember, has always just kinda....forced me to be? Also probably has a lot to do with well...eh, I don’t need to talk about that right now. Whatever. Anyway, point being, so....I do like the end results very much so, and for all its....Why Must You Be Like This eccentricities, I’m quite attached to my brain and would not be very likely to agree to a trade even were one possible. I mean don’t get me wrong, I could do without the PTSD and anxiety, if we’re just, like....talking some pruning shears or whatever, but the actual creative machinery, I’m keeping. Ultimately it just means I really fucking like patterns and finding patterns or making patterns where previously there were none, or at least none that were easy to spot.

But ugh, man, these are the rare times when I’m like omg, just call it a day, we don’t ACTUALLY have to come up with the perfect replacement name for that one relatively small and insignificant detail of a much larger story that isn’t even in the Top Ten list of my main priorities at the moment. And my asshole of a brain is just like....yeah no, we gotta. You know the rules dude, you decided it was official, that name didn’t work anymore and was never gonna, so now we gotta find a replacement or else things will be UNEVEN?? The pattern will be...missing a piece? There will be CHAOS AND ANARCHY IN THE STREETS THAT RUNNETH OVER WITH BLOOD? IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT??

And so I’m like....literally sitting here googling synonyms for spark because I’m just like that sometimes, lmfao. Oh and of course its gotta be a GOOD replacement, naturally. I can’t just shoehorn in a somewhat acceptable substitute that in the back of my mind I’m expecting to only be temporary, until I come up with something better. See, because my brain will KNOW, and it will NOT be okay with that, because that is CHEATING. And my brain, apparently, has strong feelings about cheating, which is weird and fairly unexpected of me, IMO.

Anyway, kudos to anyone who actually read through that instead of scrolling, I honestly have zero idea why I felt like sharing it, I just did and thus I did. *shrugs*