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princessgemma12 · 2 years

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i'm not nero but nonbinary leo Is my beloved - i'll use they/them here, but what do you think their pronouns are? and how do you think their brothers take them coming out? and finally (sorry) do you think Leo lets themself present not-masc, because i think they'd have WAY too much internalized trans/nonbinary-phobia to do much more than quietly correct pronouns for a good while.

Hm... defaulting to 2012 but feel free to ask about Rise or Bayyy

Under the cut 'cause what is conciseness?

I think Leo's pronouns would be they/he/she--preferably they/them but mixes of he/her and even some neutral neos thrown around are just Really Nice for them. Sometimes Leo leans toward one set or another a little more than usual, but they/them is generally Pronoun Perfection. Eventually adopts (they/she/he)/Blue pronouns, sorta, but more on that later.

As for her coming out, I think it would depend. I'll use two basic scenarios here, one that follows the canonical timeline (here) and one where Splinter lives--i.e., "My" basic timeline--in a reblog.

So for "canon" I think coming out would be much easier for Leo--they wonder what Splinter would think, what he'd say, but they don't stress themselves out over it too bad. They hope he would be proud and accepting, is pretty confident that he would be but is still a little nervous that he wouldn't be. They aren't so worried about April or Shini or Karai or Mikey or Donnie--Dee actually helped with some terminology, though he doesn't know it, yet--but Leo is a bit worried about Raph and Casey, and the Mutanimals because he doesn't know them quite as well, and R&C don't really talk about this stuff so they just don't know what to expect.

So he's nervous but fairly confident that things will work out just fine--the little voice that tells them Mean Things disagrees but it's rarely ever right so Leo knows better than to listen to it by now. Still starts shaking when they sit the Main Fam down to talk in the pit, but they power through and try to sip their tea while explaining things. Almost chokes on it a few times but succeeds in not burning their tongue. Shinigami is the first person to say anything, and it's a reference to that tumblr loading screen meme that's been going around--April and Raph almost die laughing, but Leo doesn't get it. Shini has to explain it to them.

They've stopped shaking by the time Raph's calmed down, and everybody's got these little smiles that just say "We're so proud of you! We're so happy you trusted us with this! We won't let you down!" (They do, in fact, let him down, a number of times, but it's not for lack of trying.)

So they move on to gentle jokes and talking over some basic changes that will need to be made--Leo sticks to the simplicity of they/he for now, 'cause they aren't sure how his brothers would react to using she/her. They resolve themselves to other smaller discussions in the future, when they've got their footing back. Donnie and April quickly devise speaking exercises to help get everyone shifted from a he/him habit to a they/them habit, but Karai's the only one on board. Shini picks the change up pretty quick and Mikey stumbles a little but starts defaulting to "thude" (first "dude" but April interjects), which is a little closer to habit and what Leo says "That's a nice starting point!" because Mike's trying so hard and everyone's taking it so well and they really couldn't be happier--Raph keeps stumbling over he and his and wincing and mumbling sorry but he's correcting himself and apologizing even though Leo's not upset.

"It's okay if it takes some time, I don't mind that--I know this is a big change and I know this will be a challenge for you guys, too! I'm really happy that you're all taking this so well and trying so hard."

And Leo means that, he really does! But they all see the way his face lights up when they use they/them and wait Casey what did you say? Case's just been sitting their mumbling "This is my friend, Leo, they use they/them pronouns" over and over again because he's practicing a new introduction to the turtles--he can't just say "These are the turtle brothers, they're my friends" anymore, after all. Leo's just really proud of them all because this is their family, and they're all fantastic and Splinter would be so DAMN proud right now, wouldn't he?

They end up crying afterward and get Mikey hugs for days because how else does Mike show people how much he cares?

All in all, everyone adjusts pretty quickly--the guys and Leo still stumble around how appropriate "bro" is as an affectionate term is, and it's decided that it's fine unless it isn't (usages such as "brooo" or "Bro, check this out!" because it doesn't feel quite as gendered to him as it might to others--they all use it for each other, including the girls, so it's usually Okay). Leo will let them know if it's ever not Okay, but (shyly) makes it clear that they don't want to be referred to as anyone's brother. Sibling is Perfect, thank you. This becomes a Minor Issue for Raph because now there's this big gap in his vocabulary where Big Brother used to be, and it's... just really fucking hard to work that out of their relationship. He was doing great switching his language for Leo and now he feels kind of like a dick because he keeps saying Big Brother when talking to them. Mikey just changes his affectionate Big Bros to a silly Issue One (as in Issue One Sibling, like they're all comic books or something) and Donnie plucked out Androgynous Scaled Amphibian one day it stuck for gods knew why (because Leo laughed like a little kid). But Raph didn't know what to switch it out for. He's stumbling around trying to fill this hole up and he just doesn't know why? Like? What the fuck? Why this one thing?

He's still stumbling through it around the half-year mark and Leo's gotten pretty well used to walking past a conversation and hearing things like "Well, then I told them that they blah blah blah and he said blah blah blah, and naturally I told them to blah blah blah and they..." and Mikey and Donnie's new nicknames. They're no longer shy about correcting anyone if they don't feel like he/him right now but doesn't really know how to handle what's being called the Raphael Issue. They've made their stance on "brother" clear and corrected him, and he's corrected himself, and apologized and said he'll do better but--

As things usually do between them, it becomes an argument.

Things escalate quickly--like, really quickly. It's record-breaking. Raph's not mad at Leo--not in the slightest!--but he's frustrated with himself and why can't he just let this fucking name go? why? It's ridiculous! But Leo's pissed and oh fuck no, he said something stupid and mean and now Leo's crying and--

"Blue, I'm sorry, okay! But I don't know what the fuck I'm doing; I'm not trying to be a dick, I'm trying and I get it, I do, but can we just--"

And he finds his solution! It's like something clicks in his brain like yes, that's who you are--you are my Blue and I love you and this is my name for you now! I'm sorry I upset you, please consider this my apology present. It takes a while for them to calm down enough to actually talk about it, but when Raph explains what he was feeling, and Leo does the same, they get it--'cause for forever Leo was Big Brother and Fearless; those were their names and they meant something important. It doesn't work to just have one but an adjustment--a replacement--needed to be made. Leo likes the way Blue sounds and the way it felt kind of like a childhood nickname, and immediately notices how easy it is for Raph to insert "Blue" after "Big" if he screws up a little. It's cute and rolls off the tongue and they like it a lot. Like A Lot a lot.

Raph notices and kinda defaults to Blue whenever he's talking about Leo with/to someone. Leo thinks it's funny and lets him have it. It makes them both really happy.

It works in their favor because eventually (probably somewhere around one-two years 'cause Leo is a shy and nervous boi) she decides okay I'm ready and I can do this! and open up to more feminine presentation and pronouns/terms. They talk to everyone individually this time--he decides that Mondo's poorly-worded questions weren't worth dealing with right now, and so lets the Mutanimals learn through osmosis--and it goes a little less smoothly overall.

April grins ear-to-ear when they mention an interest in makeup and the excitement is a bit too much too fast for them to handle--she gets it, and backs off, and doesn't mention it again. They understand that the offer for "lessons" is on the table. Karai and Shinigami react more calmly but both slip a couple things in their pockets on their way out--a couple colors of eyeliner and lipstick and two shades of blue nail polish (Leo secretly appreciates it). Casey... Casey handles it. Okay-ish. It's clear that he's uncomfortable but he doesn't say anything and promises to take Leo's requests to heart. Leo gets it. Kinda hurts but they understand because change can be hard. They trust Casey's word and know that he'll keep it, that he means it.

Their brothers are less of a mixed bag, so to speak.

Donnie seems totally unfazed and immediately asks if "sister" is in the same box as "brother" or not, what feminine terms they're comfortable with, etc. He gets his facts straight and Leo balks when he writes them all down. "I need to study these to implement good habits, Leo!" They're privately very very pleased with the reaction and the warning to "check all ingredients on any cosmetic products" before using them.

Mikey asks similar questions but far more rapid-fire. Leo barely has time to answer before the next one is coming at him. In true Mikey fashion, he implements everything very very quickly and throws things around more than anyone else can manage at first. It makes Leo really proud and happy and causes a lot of giggle fits for everyone. The gender euphoria when Mikey says "Oh, yeah, she loves that show! Huh? Oh, no, my sibling Leo! Yeah! He eats it up!"

(The jumbling sometimes happens even when Leo doesn't really want it to, though, and it's hard to explain but Mikey seems to get it and works on it. He stumbles sometimes but usually does fine.)

Raph... doesn't say anything. Like anything. At all. He just grins and gives Leo a thumbs like "Cool, okay"--no questions, no nothing. It weirds them out a little but they don't want to start an argument so they let it go and just kind of keep an eye on their interactions with Raphael for a while. They start finding bottles of nail polish on their nightstand and her meditation mat in the dojo, all blue, every few weeks, and soon they have baskets of the stuff. Apparently, Raph was trying to be encouraging. Leo had to ask him to stop because holy crap how am I supposed to use all of this, Raphael, it's too many!

His name doesn't bother them, never has, but they play with the syllables to figure out how many different nicknames they have to work with--Raph picks up the old name Leelo, something from when he couldn't quite pronounce Leo correctly (he also picks up L for the more feminine days because it sounded like "Elle"); everyone else goes with Lee and sometimes L. Mikey does start calling Leo "Lee-enard-o" as a joke, though, and Donnie's the only one that gets it.

Honestly, it takes a while--probably about three years for Leo to get comfy with themself enough to begin not feeling self-conscious about things. It takes a while longer for them to really embrace the need for more obvious feminine things, but when they do Mikey is Ready with the skirts and dresses, yes, now he has someone to play dress-up with again! and April provides them with a plethora of hoodies with non-binary pride designs (his favorite is their "Non-bino-saur" one). Raph decides to take up nail art and no one is safe--Casey decides he likes the skull designs Raph picked up for Halloween and insists they live forever on his fingers. Shini and Karai are quiet about things but help them embrace their goth side. It becomes a pretty common sight for Leo to be chilling in the pit with a fuckton of eye makeup on and a "cisn't" hoodie on. They absolutely adore all the gifts because yes! gender euphoria!

Honestly, they just become the epitome of assume nothing! and they live for it.

#long post #ask #leonsi #tmnt leonardo #nonbinary leonardo #enby leo #enby #nonbinary #tmnt 2012 #am i projecting?#yes yes I am #enby leo is everything I crave #tmnt

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ecclais-fouoras · 3 years

Text

Falling for someone like you

Chapter 9 ? What a day

Previous chapter here

Tags : fluff and slight smut warning ⚠️

The next day went swiftly, you both had a great time at the mine and then the museum, afterwards you both went out for dinner, in the small restaurant she had spotted before. Wilhemina offered to pay since you had already done so much for her those few days. "I insist baby..you've been amazing and I was the one who suggested it... Let me get this one"

"Okay fine...don't make a habit out of it you know I love to spoil you, my darling" you had responded placing your hand on her cheek. That night you had gone to bed early, exhausted from the day spent. Your lover laid by your side, your arms around her protectively and her leg draped over your body, and fingers upon your collarbones. "Y/n ?"

"Mm ?" "What are we gonna do tomorrow ? I tried to find something to vis..."

"Amusement Park"

"Huh ?"

"Tomorrow that's what we're doing"

"Oh...you do kn..."

"I checked if it was something you could do, and there are many attraction available"; "Good..." She said before yawning. "Oh baby sleep you're tried"

"I don't want this day to end"

"It doesn't have to...in your mind never" You turned slightly, putting your hand around her hip and under her head, and hers went to your neck. Your legs found the spot between hers and the one still on top of your body. On Sunday you woke up a little bit early to pack stuff in the car before traveling to the park, your girlfriend watching the landscape pass by the cars window. Your eyes fixated on the rood and right hand in hers on her thigh. You arrived and went inside. The place was kinda crowded but since Wilhemina couldn't stand for too long waiting wasn't a problem, you could easily enter attraction in another line. "I hate their faces when they see me cut the line" she said growling from anger and you caressed her hair while explaining "Hey baby... You're not cutting line, your simply taking another one. If they don't like it they can try and live all their life in a body that aches like yours. They'll see if taking that line is worth the trouble."

"I guess you're right"

"I am...if they aren't happy about it they can suck my dick"

"OH so they can but you barely let me do it ?" You playfully feigned being offended and slightly pinched her arm. "That's not even true.."

"It is. Whenever I wanna do it you don't pack"

"Well I'm not going to pack every single day love"

"Well at least some of them baby"

You giggled and subconsciously started walking towards a small Russian mountain.

"Are you up for that mina ?"

"Of course. I'm up for anything", "You Sure ? It seems pretty scary". "It's not. Besides if it wear it would say not for people with back problems"

"Okay okay... Well when you throw up just make sure it's not while the wind is in our way."

"Haha very funny"

:read more:

She said as you took her hand and leaded her to the side line, after a few minutes you got in the seats. Wilhemina held your hand a little tighter than usual, so you nuzzled behind her ear and told her she was more than safe with you. She relaxed a bit and then screams and squeals of joy were the only thing that could be heard. You both moved throughout the park, doing things left and right, pointing at beautiful landscape and designs. You stopped at a flying swing and encouraged wilhemina to come with you and do it together. But she didn't seam to keened on it. Even as you took her hand and tugged her towards it she held her ground. The mushroom tower started to rise and everyone started cheering as the chair flew around in circles and people moved in their chairs."Look it's fun honey" "It's for kids."..."No. It's not. Watch there are plenty of adults her and besides it didn't bother you in the flying elephants."

"That was different"

"Absolutely not, look if it's because you don't stand the movements it's okay, but at least tell me"

"I do stand it" you went closer to her, your hands on her hips as you kissed her cheeks "Babe tell me what the real problem is, no bullshit please"

"I don't have. Anywhere to put my cane in there."

"Well we can leave it in the entrance"

"I'd rather not"

"Why, you don't need it during the ride, and I'll get it for you at the end baby"

"Who knows what will happen during the ride. I don't want to find it broken, not only because you gifted it to me, but because it is my life, I refuse to let it be broken or lost by those incompetent people"

"Hey..hey no need to insult anyone here, baby I know that, but just like when you go to bed you leave it to the side, you can let them take care of it"

"I..."

"Baby I promise nothing bad will happen"

"How can you do that"

"I'll make sure it doesn't, do you trust me ?"

"Of course I trust you. I just don't trust anybody else"

"But you learned how to trust me, so maybe you can try and give a little trust to that"

"Fine. One session"

"Yay ! I promise you'll love it" You said as you both went to it, and as soon as wilhemina was sited you went up to the people managing the attraction and asked them to keep her cane during the ride.

"Oh and by the way. If anything happens to it. Even the slightest impact, i will make sure you all lose your job, and ruin your reputation so much no one will go to a park that is unacceptable with disabled people."

"..we..yes. well, we will take good care of it"

"You better do." You went back and sat just next to Wilhemina on the double sided chair. "Did you te..."

"It's okay baby. They'll handle it carefully"

"Oh okay..." The swing raised above the floor, and progressively your feets hanged down as they stopped touching ground and The ride began. the wind hit your face faster and faster and you both smiled and yelled as it spined. Wilhemina had to keep her hand on her skirt so it didn't lift up and give everyone else a great view and you giggled. You whispered in her ear as the world around you kept turning and turning. "Don't traumatize these children and get arrested for public nudity I'd hate to have to get you out of jail and runaway together..."

"Is it weird of it actually sounds good"

"Depends on which part"

"The last bit you fool"

"Well my anxiety could never...but keep dreaming darling" You both laughed and held hands as the chairs were turning even faster. At one point the air was to rapid through her hair and it detached her hairdo, you Heard her groan as her hair moved everywhere including her face while she looked at you. "Oh come on why"

"It's fine mina just let it go"

"It's a good thing this was not a wig"

You laughed again as You pushed the hair out of her face and saw her eyes shining with joy, you don't think you ever saw her so happy your whole life, and you thought maybe she never has been.

"I love you y/n"

She said as her hair flew behind her like a beautiful main. You couldn't help but put your hands around her face and bring her for a kiss. Your lips lingered on hers for a while, hands stoking her cheek and breathing linked and she pulled away questioning. "Why the kiss?"

"I just couldn't not kiss you right then"

"But in front of all these people ? Children"

"They won't die because I kissed the woman I love. They've seen people kiss before, they'll be fine"

"But the people here ?"

"I don't give a single fuck about them, I love you and they better get over it."

"I love you too" You enjoyed the rest of the ride, and after you got down you went to get wilhemina's cane for her, and as it took a little longer before she got out of it like the rest you heard someone tell her to get off the swing because people were waiting. You immediately turned around and went up to him, her stepped back a little "What did you just say ?"

"I..i said that this bitch needs to get off of the swing or learn to leave others their turn"

"You better shut the fuck up now, or else you really aren't going to enjoy the ride with a broken nose and bleeding face."

"Is that a threat ?"

"No it's a promise."

"It's unacceptable she ne.."

"And you need to stick your patience up your ass and fuck off. She'd be out of there in a second if you were able to keep your fucking mouth shut, now I bet you don't have any one in your life who has a disability except you because you are clearly having a stroke so let me tell you this. You say anything offensive to my wife. And I'll have your fucking ass in the floor."

"How dare you ? Telling all this in front of my kids"

"Maybe it'll teach them not to be complete assholes to people. Now your kids didn't say anything you did. So maybe you could thing about that"

"M'am you have to hurry..and keep your distance with the rest of the clients" The bold men tried to respond.

"But...i..i" ."

"we'll be out in a sec.. You. Save it. I honestly don't give a shit about your opinion, I'm not doing this for me, I'm doing it for her. Because if she weren't there I would have already been in jail for beating your ass. I'll say it once. Stay. Away. From. her. And keep your thoughts to your two inches long brain."

You went back to give her her cane and you both left the swings, glaring one last time at the men, who looked like he was about to piss his paints.

"Don't bother him, he's an ass"

"You don't always have to get in trouble for me"

"You're kidding right ? He was practically begging me to tell him off. Besides no one talks to you like this and gets away with it on my watch"

"He looked like a kid cought cheating have to admit watching you It was a little hot." She whispered in your ear

"Happy to oblige" you said as you pushed a strand of hair behind her ear and grazed her cheek. After that she bent forward a little and lifted her arms to try and do her hair back which you knew could hurt her.

"Hey hey no.. leave it" you said as you put your hands on hers.

"Let's sit over here baby"

You said while taking her to a small stair bench.

"Sir over here I'll sit on the one higher.

"Oh okay"

You settled her between your knees and asked for her hair tie.

"Do you really want to put it up again ? You know I love your hair down like this, you look so beautiful"

"I know you do, but it's our thing you know, I don't want it to become banal, I like that you're the only one who sees me like this, it makes it special"

"We have other things that are private darling, just because you go out with your hair down it doesn't mean it's not special anymore. I still get to see you in your nightwear or with a messy tee-shirt and a lazy bun."

"I know but still, I prefer keeping it up please"

"Okay baby no problem, can I put it up how I want ?"

"..fine yes, but no funny business"

"Of course" you said as you kissed her neck. You started sectioning her hair, brushing it through your fingers, huming softly. And you started breading, strands of hair between your hands, one over the other. Starting from up and then going down. Wilhemina relaxing visibly in your embrace, letting her head slightly back.

"Oooooooh, I am not the only traveler, who has not repaid His debt, I've been searching for a trail to follow again take me back to the night we met, and then I can tell myself what the hell am I supposed to do.

I had all and then most of you some and now none of you. Ooh

Take me back to the night we met.

"Here done"

"Can I sea ?"

"Let me just ..there "

"Oh..y/n"

"You don't like it ?"

"No..no i do like it.. it's different than what I'm used to"

"I figured you don't usually bread it because it's probably to painful, so I wanted to do something nice". "I love it y/n"

"You look beautiful"

She blushed softly before you kissed her lips.

Afterwards you were both a little hungry, so you took wilhemina to a candy shop, they sold many things like sugar canes and candy floss

You waited before asking Wilhemina what she wanted, and ordered a pomme d'amour for starters, and decided you would take candy floss to walk.

"It's going to be messy y/n we have to cut in"

"No..baby the whole thing is to bite it at the same time"

"I swear if you get my shirt stained"

"It won't willy"

"Oh you know I hate that nickname"

"That's why I use it willy"

She groaned and you both stood while you held the food.

"On three"

"Wait does that mean we bite on three or after three"

"Oh just bite it on three love"

"One."

"Two" you both said

"Three"

You both took a bite out of the apple, juices covering your taste buds and the sweet sugar envelope cracking.

You giggled with your mouths full and finished the apple as much as you could, heads turning around to find a good angle and sharing the same space.

You noticed Wilhemina had sugar on her top lip corner.

"Baby you have a little something here"

"Oh..thank you"

She tried getting it off but it wasn't efficient. So you stepped closer.

"Here..let me do it" you said before setting down the rest of the dish and pressing her against you while your hands found her jaw and you kissed her soundly, she moaned a little when you bit her top lip. And grazed it with your tongue. It asked for entrance and Wilhemina granted it to you. You made out together for a little bit before parting a little and just holding each other for a while, pairs of hands around shoulders and hips.

After that you bought the candy floss and started walking around the park once again.

You both picked in each others sticks, exchanging looks, smiles and kisses.

Feeding each other bits every now and then.

After a dozen minutes you had both finished

And you kissed her again, sharing the taste of sugar between each other. Her cane pressed against her and her cheek in your hand.

"Thank you y/n"

"For what ?". "For giving my life purpose"

"Aw baby why do you have to be so damn cute ALL the time"

"I'm serious"

"Me too...and you don't need to thank me, you mean everything to me. Come here."

You said before taking her inside your arms, inhaling her sent and circling your arms around her frame. You pressed kisses in her hair and she place them in your neck.

"I love you so much Wilhemina"

She started to tear up a little bit before sniffling and hiding more inside your body.

"I mean it...baby you don't ever have to cry about that again..for I will hold you till the end of time itself. And in every one of your future life's I'll have you in my heart."

Time passed as you held each others before slowly getting going again.

You arrived at a shooting game, pushed animals were hanging from the walls and ceiling.

"Oh here let me win you something !"

"Oh come on darling these games are money black holes"

"Not if your good at it" she starting turning around and walking away

"Besides it's gun shooting you're not going to be any good at that love you don't own any. Also I think it's quite funny that yo..."

"Here m'am, ya just need to get those target over there to ya win"

"Huhh come on y/n, do you even know what I said"

"Ssh baby I gotta focus"

"Sshh? So you shush me now ?"

You ignored her rambling as your hands settled their positions and you started shooting the first few bullets hitting right on the targets, five bullets later you heard a ringing sound and the guy stunned by your performance started

"Well m'am I'll be honest I wasn't expecting ya to win on the first try. But here ya go, you can pick one of them little stuffed animals"

"Mm I'll have this one for my lady over there "

"Excellent choice...here there ya go ... have a nice day birdies"

You giggled and thanked him as you went up to Wilhemina and gave her the white furry bunny you had won.

"So since you were so supportive I'll just keep it to myself"

"...I'm sorry baby...i just didn't want you to waste your money" "I know"

You said as you handed her the toy, "it's for you baby", "Oh.. really ? Wow it's the first time my lover...well anyone wins me something at a game"

"Looks like I'm your first on lots of things babe"

"Heyy" she responded while jabbing your shoulder "Aww why do you always do that, I think I need to go check it at the hospital."

"Oh don't be A baby y/n"

"Well you're the one standing with a bunny in your arms so who's really the baby huh?" She frowned before she joined you in laughter. You walked hand in hand with her gift under her hand. The sun was starting to set slowly as you both chatted and enjoyed the rest of the day.

"Let's get married"

"...What ?"

"Here let's get married now"

"..y/n ? I don't understand...I'm not sure it's a good idea"

"Chill baby I meant there" you said as you pointed the small church in the middle of the other attractions.

"It says it celebrates unions and marriages, but nothing actually official"

"Oh .."

"So let's get married here darling. Let's have our unofficial official ceremony now"

You said as you led her to the counter

"Wait..."

"It's okay you don't want to"

"No..no I definitely want to, I'm just straddled, and what If they don't celebrate our 'marriage', baby there are no legal obligations here"

"Well I don't care if they don't celebrate 'Our' marriage. I'll find another fake church that does, but we have to try frist right ?"

She nodded and took your hand.

"Hello ladies how May I help you"

You both looked at each other and she smiled.

"We would like to get married." "Alright, are you married irl ?" "Nope"

"I have to inform you this is all outside of any actual legal union, this mariage is only valid here, and in your hearts."

"We know"

"Perfect then. Follow me" You arrived in a room filled with dressed and suits, the man asked if you wanted to pay before or after, you decided to do it now, Wilhemina didn't even notice you did. "I'll let you approximately 30 minutes to choose your formal wear and get dressed, an hour to prepare your vows and will Then accompany the... well brides walk down the aisle"

"If it's easier i don't mind being already there."

"Oh yes good. Anyway, I'll let you change, there are two different Rooms with staff so you don't see each other until marriage"

"Thank you". You both said before picking your outfits and trying on dresses and suits. After some time the man came back and took Wilhemina before letting you know where was the aisle. You waited there with the pastor, who didn't look used to celebrating marriages between women, but who wasn't mad about it. The music started and there was no one else in the church except for the few staff and you both. The doors opened and you saw your girlfriend walk arm in arm with the guy who welcomed you in. She looked ethereal, beautiful you had never seen such beauty before, her hair was in a beautiful hairdo, half down half up, a bunch of colored flowers in her hair and even a purple orange make-up.

She walked gracefully, her dress following her and a veil attached to her flower crown.

"Hey"

"Hey...wow, you...look... amazing...I'm so lucky" she blushed before being handled her cane and replied "Well...I must say You're not so Bad yourself y/n"

"Erm erm.. We are reunited today. To celebrate the union of two beautiful souls, linked together by life. Two hearts beating at the same pace, two bodies sharing one path. We are here, in the evening of this bright full day, to make the two women standing here, married, for better and for worst until death do them apart...If i may have the rings. " He took them and turned to Wilhemina "You will now exchange your vows"

"Oh..lord..sorry. this is the part I'm not going to be good at. But you already know that.

You know every part of me. Every single piece I've yet to discover. You hold them, in your arms. Steady, fierce, protective, bringing me the safe home i could have never hope to have. And yet here you stand. By my side every day. You hold my heart, and you make my sun hang, so bright yet so easy, in my sky. I didn't believe I could ever be liked. And you showed me unconditional love.

I didn't believe I was pretty, you made me feel like the most beautiful goddess in the world. I didn't believe I could feel it, but darling, you are the person I love like I would have never believed such feeling existed.. I am not good at expressing feelings, I find them to abstract, to volatile to be caught by my words. So I chose the ones of someone else that resonated with me so hard I believe them to be our own.

'You belong with me, my love. And I belong with you. We should live life side by side, In everything we do. You belong with me today, For now and ever more. And I belong with you, my dear, The one that I adore. We were meant to be, I know; It’s written in the stars. I love the way we are as one, And everything you are. Just think of all the moments Aligning for us to meet, So once we found each other, We were bound to feel complete. But this part of our story, We’ll sit and write together. Hanging memories on the wall,of the home we’ll share forever. So, both of us are certain. As we each say ‘I do’, That you belong with me, my love, And I belong with you." As she was done and the tears spilled from your eyes the pastor gave her a ring and spoke again.". "Now you will repeat after me as you place the ring on her, -I take you, y/f/n" "I take you y/f/n" ; "—to be my wedded Wife" "To be my wedded Wife"

"— to have and to hold from this day forward"; "To have and to hold from this day forward"

"—for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer''; "for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer" ; "—in sickness and in health to love and to cherish,"; "in sickness and in health to love and to cherish,". "—till death do us part"

"Till death do us part"

She said as she finally settled the ring she picked out on you.

"You will now exchange your vows to your bride."

".. Wilhemina, every time I dreamed about love, it was always me finding it, searching, like a lost salior for my beloved boat.But little did I know, love would find me, it would find a way through my heart, in between the cracks of it, sunshine would bring healing. I remember when I first fell in love. The intensity, the warmth, I remember her smile, her hair. I remember how hard I loved. How wrong I may have, probably because of the youth. I remember how much it had hurt. When she was taken away from me. When I could no longer hold her body, when everything from her had immediately and indefinitely turned to dust. I remember how I cursed at the wind, yelled, screamed, cried, abused whatever God had been responsible for it, responsible for this pain love had brought. I swore, I swore to never love ever again. And I tried, I begged for love to leave me alone. I dreamed it would never hurt again. And I remember when I found you, and you found me. How utterly lost we had been. How stupid it was for me to think I would not fall for you.

For your smile.

For your laugh.

For your eyes.

For your tears of joy and sorrow. For every single beat of your heart. How stupid I had been, To think I would never fall again. But the truth is, I spent all these years climbing, to afraid, to hurt, to coward, to actually jump. But the more high you gain The longer and harder the fall. And man, did I fall. And man, how did it feel so terribly perfect to do so. And man, little did I know, you could make me fly. I wasn't scared anymore. It didn't hurt. It was the answer I had been searching for all of my life. The one I didn't know was within me all along, the one you brought to life. It was love, love was the answer. No Our, our love was the answer. I'm so completely and unapologetically in love with you. You, you, you it's always been you. And the stars are watching, they are jealous, and they talk because never in the eternal burn they experience, never did they see souls shine so bright. Our connection goes beyond speaking, you choose words to express what you want to say. I want words to choose how to express what I say. In truth, we married each other that first night, in bed, we had been married by our bodies, but now we stand in history—what our bodies had said, mouth to mouth, we now said publicly, gathered together.

'I don’t love you as if you were a rose of salt, topaz, or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:i love you as one loves certain obscure things, secretly, between the shadow and the soul. I love you as the plant that doesn’t bloom but carries the light of those flowers, hidden, within itself, and thanks to your love the tight aroma that arose from the earth lives dimly in my body. I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where, I love you directly without problems or pride: I love you like this because I don’t know any other way to love, except in this form in which I am not nor are you, so close that your hand upon my chest is mine, so close that your eyes close with my dreams... We, unaccustomed to courage exiles from delight, live coiled in shells of loneliness, until love leaves its high holy temple and comes into our sight to liberate us into life. Love arrives and in its train come ecstasies, old memories of pleasure, ancient histories of pain. Yet if we are bold, love strikes away the chains of fear from our souls. We are weaned from our timidity, In the flush of love’s light, we dare be brave. And suddenly we see that love costs all we are and will ever be. Yet it is only love, which sets us free.'.. Today i stand here, as i will stand for as long as my fragile body allows me to, perhaps then I will sit, or lay, by your side my dear, always. And love within me blooms, and makes flowers from every cell in me grow. I will choose you over and over again love, I will hold you close, I will give you peace, I will bring you home. In me. In my heart."

"Now, for the ring.."

He gave you the one you'd picked for her, a thick golden string with amethyst, and Carnelian.

"-I take you, Wilhemina venable"

"I take you, Wilhemina venable"

"-to be my wedded Wife"

"To be my wedded Wife"

"- to have and to hold from this day forward"

"To have and to hold from this day forward"

"- for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer

"for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer"

"-in sickness and in health to love and to cherish,"

"in sickness and in health to love and to cherish,

"-till death do us part"

You finally slid the ring on her finger before saying.

"Till death do us part

"Perfect, you may now kiss the bide."

You turned to Wilhemina, picked the veil covering her face, lifted it and placed it backwards before taking she took her face in her hands and yours grabbed her hips, bending her slightly backwards before stealing her lips in the most beautiful and delicious kiss you both had the chance to share, oxygen wasn't even needed as your whole body experienced full Bliss, during the embrace you heard, no felt her mumble 'i love you' to which she know you replied by kissing her harder tumbling a little before parting away, faces close, smiles on both of your lips. You walked down the aisle tightly pressed together her hair darked than usual with the dim candle light. And as you went through the door, bells rang and you felt rice being thrown at you from somewhere you couldn't spot. Eventually you got outside, turned to your wife and spun her around before kissing for what would most definitely not be the last time of the day, body pressed together like it will be during your Wedding night.

When you came back home both of your touch yas tender yet urgent, you took no time to

Set your things, just immediately riding her of her day clothes and coat, slamming the door with your feet and taking her upstairs. Before the bedroom door you lifted her up over the threshold, "tradition is sacred my darling"

"Shut up and just make love to me"

Shortly you were both in your underwear, your body on top of hers, cradling her with kisses and caresses, your lips all over her body.

You began to take her nipple in your mouth and play with the other one, her back arched and she moaned loudly, you were starting to kiss your way down her body but she stopped you.

"I..I..want us to cum...together"

"I can't refuse my baby now"

You dragged down her body before teasing her inner thigh and kissing her clit, making sure she was wet enough, you went up her body again, your hand between her legs stating to work her up. Your own hand finding yourself, toying with your panties before sitting back and touching yourself for her to see. Once you were both ready you aligned both of your centers, and lowered yourself on her. Hearing a moan from both of your throats as the contact was a delightful bliss. Your moans filled the room as you rubbed your clitorises faster, wet sounds coming from the friction. "Uh..uH baby I'm getting close"

"..wait a bit for me.. can you do that ?"

"Uhh..yeah..yeaH" You doubled your efforts and before you knew it she was cumming all over you which triggered your own orgasm. You fell on her body, legs intertwined as your bodies sank into each others. Still catching her breath Wilhemina couldn't stop herself from laughing.

"...We got married...in an amusement park";

"We did baby...".

".....I love you";

"I love you too baby"

A/n: the italic pieces are bits of different poems, I couldn't settle for one, if you think cutting a poem is sacrilegious I'm sorry but I believe that Words and art is ment to be movements, live and change though our experiences of then, pieces of structure that you can use to build. your own.

#wilhemina venable #sarah paulson fanfiction #wilhemina venable x reader #sarah paulson characters #wilhelmina venable #soft!mina #ms venable

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hunterkinniie · 3 years

Text

The Owl House - human rain shower {short piece}

word count; 1, 040

───────────────

Amity wasn't sure what she loved more here, the warm and inviting atmosphere of this home or the sweet smiles both Nocedas sent her way. Sitting on the coach as she carefully watched the confusing overly bright and colourful show that played on it. Despite the neon colours, she really enjoyed the plotline of the series so far, she just hoped it wouldn't end with a cliffhanger as it seemed like it was going to. Though she really didn't like the strange portrayal it had of witches and them all being apparently evil and cruel, she wasn't evil! Couldn't say the same about her parents. A loud clap of thunder snatches her focus away from the screen and she jumps out of her seat. Scrambling to get upright, the witch turns her attention to Luz and looks mortified. Rain! They had to cast a spell to protect this home somehow, it was too nice to be eaten away at! Hurry!

" Quick, Luz, we need to protect this place from the rain!" The witch shouts, she starts to focus on the spell she needed to use, expecting her girlfriend to do the same. They simply laughed instead. Not in a mean though, more of a teasing sort of giggle. While, Mrs. Noceda gave her puzzled look at the panick she displayed, she quickly sent her a comforting smile.

" No acid rain in the human realm, remember, Ams?"

Amity grows red in the face. Luz told her once about human rain, how it never burned flesh like the type on the Boiling Isles did. Which was honestly a pretty interesting concept for rain; some sort of non-acidic downpour, now that would seem like a fantasy back home. She made her way to window and peered out of it, taking sight of the storm going on outside. There was no sign of steam or the panick that usually came with Boiling Isles rain. Maybe she could go out and touch it, or would that be a bad thing? Even if it wasn't burning rain that could harm anything that it touched, Amity still had no real idea what the human realms could do. Perhaps she could ask anyways? And like they had read her mind, her beautiful girlfriend came to sweep off her feet.. Well, that didn't exactly happen but she imagined it that way, instead Luz had opened up the front door. Smiling brightly, as usual, and motioning for her to follow her outside. " Wanna come and play in the rain with me?"

The witchs eyes widened at her offer and her face turned red, it was almost like that romantic movie Mrs. Noceda had put on a couple hours ago! Except the main characters love interest had offered them a chance to dance with them after the rain, wait, what if she did the same with Luz? Or would with that be too dangerous, she didn't know what type of creatures that roamed around this realm. What if something bad happened! Oh, come on, get ahold of yourself Amity! Remember what Luz said, the human realm is far less dangerous and way more calming than the Boiling Isles. Luzs mother seems to instinctively realize their plan and calls out to them from kitchen.

" Don't play too long out there girls, it's going to turn into a pretty cold downpour and get worse! No quiero que ambos se enferma! Especially Amity!"

" It's fiiine, mama! We'll be fiine!" Luz reassures their mother, drawing out the words she says and quickly leads Amity to the porch steps before the witch comes to a stop. She pulls her arms close to her chest and gives the rain a suspicious stare. Her girlfriend takes notice and holds. " Don't worry, Ams, the rain won't a bit.. See?"

Luz takes the chance to run into the rain and twirl around in the concrete sidewalk, right... Only to slip up from the water and land right on her face, but it didn't seem to bother her any despite the grass stuck to her face now, it was more like a momentary inconvenience to her. She leaps right back to her feet, doing a cute a little pose afterwards and pointing their hands towards her. Amity heard her call that hand gesture "finger guns" once. It was kind of cute if she was being honest, she considered trying it out one day herself.

" I am a-okay!"

That makes Amity laugh softly and cause her girlfriend to blush in return. The witch takes a deep breath and begins to cautiously make her way down the porch steps.. She sticks a hand closer to the pouring rain, squeezing her eyes shut, and then.. She feels the odd sensation of luke warm water pelt away at her hand. Amitys eyes snap open and she looks amazed, she steps forward into the rain and grins, excited by this. Luz extends a hand and she takes, picking off the pieces of grass her girlfriend had on their face as she did.

" Is it always like this?" Amity questions, her girlfriend shakes her head in response.

" Pffft, I wish it was! But no, sometimes it doesn't rain and sometimes it rains even more than this, sometimes it's super cold! Sometimes it's.. Well, I don't think I've heard of hot rain in the human realm soo.. It really just depends on the humidity and stuff!"

Luz grins, all too happy to start explaining the different types of rain and how it was in the human realm. One thing Amity loved about them. Always so passionate when discussing the things she loved and knew a lot about.

" I like it." The witch holds out her hands, catching the falling water and showing it off to Luz who quickly began to do the same. Luz gains a rather playful look on her face, right as she tosses up a handful of water and it splashes down on the two of them. Causing both witches start to giggling like mad. " Ah, come on, Luz!"

" I really like the rain too, now let's go, I got something else to show you about human rain!" Her girlfriend smiles, grabbing ahold of her hand gently and leading her down the sidewalk.

#; atlas writing #/ wanted to write more but i did not have the energy to- my apologies :(#the owl house #toh luz #toh amity #toh lumity #lumity #luz noceda #amity blight #camilla noceda #/ i did plan on having amity ask if luz wanted to dance with her in this- but decided against it- i'm not a very good writer after all

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tsukikoayanosuke · 3 years

Note

Fanfic ask: Perhaps the aftermath after fighting Diabolic Chizuko? Plus also meeting the two unknowns that were possessing her as well.

I'm not feeling well after my third vaccine shot and yet I want to write. So, there's not much info I can get from the two entities, like personality, manner of speech. So, I ended up didn't write any. I'm here to kill my self-insert because why not. Warning: death, graphic description of injuries and violence, a little bit of suicidal thoughts

"Expect nothing and you won't be disappointed".

Yukiko didn't know when she became this pessimistic, but the thought only became darker after she got transported into this magical world. What did she do to deserve this? A girl who accomplish nothing shouldn't be getting this magical treatment.

Honestly, she didn't know what to expect. She's not those cool overpowered light novel protagonists or the bland harem anime main character. She had stopped imagining being on top of the self-indulging pedestal and just want to survive through the day without feeling like she was about to disappear into the abyss.

Maybe this is her punishment for even attempting to stray from her role. When she was placed in the Ramshackle Dorm and met with the various faces, there was a single small thought that maybe this wouldn't be so bad. Opening a new leaf as they would say. Ah, she should've known better. There was no way this would last forever.

Jonah had always been a bit nosy so there was no avoiding him. It was strange to see him so quiet like right now. He looked like she was sleeping if it weren't for his prided sword sticking through his chest and left eye plucked from its socket. His back was leaning against the bloody wall and red liquid was pooling underneath him. It was ironically fitting for the captain to be the first one to go down.

Jake was never someone she wants to get close to. He's scary and clingy, an absolute brat. He put up a fight, being the only one who had magical power among them, but even a gifted boy like him couldn't survive. He was laying on the piece that was once the wooden bench, splinters sticking through his skin like thorns. Claw marks of the devil could be seen scattered across his body, blood flowing out until it couldn't anymore.

Chizuko was strange. Thinking about her made her sour. Envy perhaps? After all, Chizuko has everything. The big brain, the talent, the social skill. Everything Yukiko wasn't, Chizuko was. Maybe that was why she was chosen by the cult and now is possessed by whatever the fuck these creatures are. They clung tightly inside of her to the point a purification spell couldn't exorcise them.

Or maybe it was because it was Yukiko who performed it that it didn't work.

Ah, she's useless, isn't she?

Even now, pinned down by the possessed friend who she wished she got to know better, hands around her neck and squeezing them tightly, Yukiko couldn't even wheeze in. She couldn't fight back without her magic weapon, being magicless means she has to depend on them. Her bag of potions was already ripped to shred along with her grimoire, scattered uselessly on this floor of the old church.

It was strange. Yukiko always thought that dying would be painless. And yet, now, when facing the very thing, she felt afraid. Pathetic, isn't she?

Ah, maybe she should've been expecting this: dying in the hands of someone she thought could be her friend. Here, in the silent church, she would die. And this time, there will be no transporting to another world or time travels. Yukiko is a pathetic girl after all. There was no way she deserves those plot twists.

What an underwhelming end...

#twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland fanfiction #twisted wonderland fanfic #twisted wonderland fic #twst fanfic #twst fic #chizuko miyato #yukiko sekaihashi #jonah argentum (my oc)#jacob orion columbus (my oc)#the captain is answering!

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everyhowlmarksthedead · 4 years

Text

Myth of the stars.

DARYL DIXON. ┃ THE WALKING DEAD.

❝ words: about 1.4k

❝ summary: Before an expedition, he needs a story to think about while he's gone.

❝ a / n: As always, feedback is appreciated!

Gif credits to the author.

MASTERLIST. ⎢ MULTIFANDOM TAG LIST.

Your mind is blank. Your eyes are on a starry night over your head. It's been a while since you have stopped hearing the loud noise around you of different voices talking, laughing, singing (...), you weren't in the mood to join the farewell party before some of Alexandria's members leave the next morning for a new expedition. Watching Daryl go not knowing if he is going to come back, nor when he is going to do it, is by far the worst feeling you have had in a long, long time. You could accompany the squad, but who would take care of the children in case of an invasion?

You're so lost in your own thoughts that you don't notice the heavy paws over the ground straight to your position, till a wet nose touches your hand to call your attention. Dog is there, waving his tail happily as he breathes by his mouth, half tongue out. Tilting your head stopping your walk, you find Daryl coming closer too. No expression on his face. Some worry maybe.

“You okay, uh?”

“Yeah”. You try to erase that feeling from him by showing him a soft smirk curving your lips.

“Haven't seen you at the party”.

You could give him one hundred excuses, but you aren't a big fan of lies. You don't even know how to lie without being caught. Shrugging your shoulders, you continue with your walk when the man is at your side. You keep your hands inside the pockets of your jacket to warm them up and shelter them from the cold, looking at Daryl sideways before putting your eyes again over the dark sky full of stars.

“I just wanted to enjoy these views. I think… it's the only thing I like from this situation”. You whisper after a brief pause in silence. “Do you know the myth of Artemis and Asteria?”

“No”. The word escapes his rough lips in a soft murmur, turning at you for a second.

But you can feel his curiosity. Daryl loves to hear your stories, to hear your voice. It helps him to sleep some nights when you two share the same bed. He usually asks you about Greek, Norse, or Roman legends, since you used to read about them a lot when your life wasn't dependent on the virus.

You can't help but bite a side of your bottom lip, licking it before starting to relate what you learned in your past days.

“In Athens, mortals never cared about the environment. The pollution was horrible, and they weren't used to turning off the lights when they weren't using them. So, Asteria —who was the goddess of star and constellation— was afraid of the stars falling apart. She was aware that, if mortals didn't start to worry about pollution, the stars would hit the Earth. She told the Greeks about it, but they didn't hear her”.

“And what happened?” As always, he sounds curious with his gaze on Dog carrying now a stick between his teeth.

“Artemis —the goddess of nature, animals, and the moon— tried to help her. They both went to talk again with the Greeks, but they were a very stubborn populace. Even if they asked to take care of the stars by taking care of the environment, the Greeks continued ignoring their advice”.

You are really enjoying that moment with Daryl, one of the main things you miss the most when he's gone. Usually, he has to play the brave man, hiding his fears and his worries, but now he is just a man having a good time with life's little pleasures. Not caring about the walkers, nor the dead trying to haunt you continually.

“Artemis and Asteria got tired of trying to make them understand the risk, so they went to consult Zeus. He told them that he had a solution. A solution the Greeks wouldn't like, but there was nothing else to do. The god and goddesses waited till the next day when the cosmos started to fall apart creating a loud noise, terrorizing the populace”.

“They had been looking for it”. Daryl adds then, pointing at the porch of the house you are staying at to sit on the stairs.

“Yeah, they did”. You can't help but giggle, taking a seat close to him, but one step above. “Zeus, Artemis, and Asteria flew Pegasus to Earth. While Asteria gave another speech to the mortals, Zeus protected them from the stars falling down and crashing on the ground. Finally, the god and goddesses convinced them to make a change. And with this change, the stars stopped falling and Asteria, with Artemis help, placed the fallen stars back to the sky”.

By the gesture on his face, you know Daryl has enjoyed it as always. He has become an addict to your stories, your voice, and how easy you relate them. Resting your back against the white wooden railings, you direct your eyes to above your head.

“The moral of the story tells people to take care of the precious world we're living in and the good things it has, the good things it's surrounded by, even if right now isn't the most appropriate place to be in”.

“You're the best thing about this place”.

Making eye contact, you can see in his orbs he wasn't expecting these words to escape from his thoughts, but he doesn't feel any shame either after saying them out loud. Daryl raises a hand to grab your wrist gently and get your hand out of the pocket. His long fingers getting laced to yours provokes you some soft shivers, briefly moving closer to you till his knees are touching yours.

You can't help but rest your forehead on his shoulder, closing your eyelids as your arms land around his neck. For a moment, you feel the imperious necessity of crying. Your lips start to tremble when Daryl embraces you tightly putting you down a step to hold you against his body. He's not a man of expressing his sentiments through words, but gestures. Since he met you a year ago, finding you trying to hide from a herd of walkers, he hasn't been capable of getting away from you. It isn't easier for Daryl either to abandon Alexandria for the first time leaving you there, not knowing when he will return.

“We should… go inside”. You mumble although you don't want him to pull himself away from you —under any circumstances.

But people don't know about you. They think you are only good friends, not that you were meant to be for each other. The hunter nods his head standing up and helping you to while whistling to Dog to follow you inside.

As soon as you close the door behind your back, Daryl lifts you unexpectedly into his arms to bring you to the sofa. He falls on top of your body, settling himself between your legs as his lips go straight to yours. You can taste the nicotine and the alcohol in his saliva when his tongue makes its own way into your mouth, caressing yours with so much care. After unzipping your jacket, his calloused and rough hands paw your sides, almost dragging his palms over your warm skin trying to memorize every single inch of it —as if it wasn't a well-known territory for him. Daryl loves how smooth your skin is, it drives him crazy.

“I'll come back sooner or later”. He speaks under your breath, softly gasping when you tangle your fingers in brown locks of hair to push him somewhat closer. “I always come back… You know it”.

“I'm gonna miss you… I won't sleep on the nights thinking about you, wishing you're still alive”.

As your lips quiver again, Daryl doesn't hesitate to peck them with so much tenderness; slowly, delighting himself in every touch whilst you caress his hair.

“I haven't said it before, but I love you”. His murmurs race your heart, nailing your crystal eyes on the most sincere ones you haven't seen in your life. “I'll come back for you, I promise”.

Moving your left hand to his cheek, you tilt your head up to trap his lips again among yours. A loving kiss that pretends to transmit to him every single sentiment you feel for him, the fact that your heart only beats for his. You couldn't rather be in another place, nor another situation. Sometimes you thank the cosmos and the destiny for putting Daryl in your life.

#the walking dead #the walking dead imagine #daryl fanfiction #daryl dixon x reader #daryl x reader #daryl x y/n #daryl dixon #daryl dixon imagine

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elles-writing · 3 years

Text

Flowers for a girl

A/N: This still comes back sometimes, so I thought why not to write it down, though I don't exactly remember some parts of it for some reason (is it ptsd? idk), but in Middle-Earth AU, Kili is little younger (12-13 in human years, in TH he'd be like 16-17 i guess. Reader is 10-11 years old) and it happens before TH events. It's something different than I usually write, because it's based off on my personal experiences, so...yeah.

I wanted to write it down mainly for myself, to accept my past. If this is happening to you, please seek for help!! Better be safe than sorry. If you'd needed to, my ask box and messages are open, if you need to talk.

Warnings/triggers: description of emotional and physical bullying, body shaming, very low self esteem of reader, hints of swearing, eating disorder thoughts, mention of catcalling

If any of these is triggering you, please don't read this story!! Even if there is fluff, there are still these.

"Look at that fatty," one of the boys laughed into her direction. Y/n felt tears swelling in her eyes.

Don't cry, don't cry.

"How much do you weight? I bet as much as a pig!"

"You are so ugly and fat!" The other one said and pushed her. Y/n tried to do anything, but she was too scared.

"No, give it back, that's mine!" She said, when the boys took her sketchbook.

"Look at those drawings, they're like so bad," one of them pointed at them.

"Give it to me back!" She tried to grab him, but he put his arm up.

Don't cry, please, don't cry, not now...

"Ah, then come and get it!" He runned away, and Elle tried to catch him, but he was quicker.

"Ha! You out of breath already, you ugly fat pig? C'mon, come for it!" Him and other boys laughed. Y/N tried to catch his shirt, but he was running and jumping around.

"Look at how she jumps, look at her! It's like pudding!" They laughed. Y/N felt tears to come up into her eyes.

Don't cry, not now, you can't...

"Look, she's gonna cry!" You looked away, blinking furiously.

You can't cry in front of them.

"Leave her alone!" A voice came from behind the boys. They all looked back at him.

Y/N couldn't see him, she was shorter than them, and they were around her in a circle.

"Or what?" Said one.

"Look, the fatty got a boyfriend, eww!" One of the boys, and Y/N wanted to hide somewhere. She felt scared, shameful, and embarrassed.

Who would have ever loved her?

"Look, she's not speaking," they pushed her and Elle let out a surprised gasp as she fell to the ground.

"I'm saying it again, leave her alone," the other boy said. She looked around, and noticed him looking at her. She blushed, and looked away. He was handsome.

She knew she will hear about it later.

"Or what? What are you?"

"I'm Kili, from the line of Durin, and I would suggest you to get out, if you don't want me to kill you," he growled out, and Y/N felt fear rising in her. Would he hurt her?

Kili pointed the tip of one of his daggers to the main boy's throat, who then quickly took his friends and went away. They even threw her her sketchbook back.

"Did they hurt you?" Kili asked, then looked down at her for the first time.

She refused to look at him at first, but then she did. She was scared, and reminded Kili of a bunny.

She could be around ten years old. She was a human, he guessed, based on her ears.

"No, I'm...I'm okay," Y/N whispered and looked away.

"Thank you," she muttered.

"What happened? Why did they followed you?" Y/N looked down in her lap.

"I was drawing and reading here. I think they seen me, and went after me...it's been my safe place," You whispered.

"I can stay with you, in case they would come back," Kili offered before he thought of it. At this point, he was sitting down next to her.

"I-I don't know. They would laugh at both of us..." she said quietly, fearing of a wave of laugh. Kili furrowed his brows.

"How long has this been happening to you?"

"For over a year..." you said.

"I'm Y/n," she said a little awkwardly.

"I'm Kili," Kili introduced himself, remembering how his mother taught him to introduce himself.

"So that's decided, I'm staying with you," he said, and muttered some curses in Khuzdul, as he thought about the group.

"H-here, take my coat. It's getting cold," he said. She smiled nervously.

"Don't worry, I won't let them hurt you anymore," He offered her a smile, and she decided to take his offer, though she hoped he won't comment on her warming up face, or her body. She liked him, he was not just handsome, but actually kind to her.

It has never happened to her ever before, with a guy, who was a stranger...

The coat was big on her (that was a huge relief) and she cuddled into it.

"So, what are we going to do now?"

"Well, I-" Y/N didn't finished her sentence, because the first drop fell on her head, and other quickly started following. She gasped and quickly put her belongings to her bag. As she finished, it was raining heavily now. Her hair was soaking wet, sticking to her head.

Now he will see how I'm ugly, and laugh at me and call me names, and- she wanted to cry. Kili noticed her expression.

"So they did hurt you? Where is it?" Y/n shook her head, as they walked in the heavy rain.

"N-no, I just...I hope the sketchbook didn't got wet," she decided for the safer version.

"But you got wet. Where do you live?"

"Well...around twenty minutes of walk," Y/N said, so if anything, he wouldn't try to find her, though she was kind. But just to be safe.

"I'll take you home with me, it's not that far," Kili offered, and you quickly turned to him. He was kind, but her parents warned her about going somewhere with strangers.

"I-I think it's okay, thank you for your offer,"

"You are going to get wet to bone if you keep walking," Kili said and Y/N looked at him, but quickly looked away. The rain sticked Kili's hair and clothes to his body, and she blushed.

He surely has a girlfriend, don't be stupid, she snapped at herself.

He would never want to be with you, you are a child, and he is older. And he is super kind and handsome.

"Alright, then...I will go with you," you said unsurely. She thought she would think of something, if anything would go wrong. Plus, he was a prince. Y/N doubted he would do anything like this, if he was a prince.

"Amad, I'm home!" Kili said as he closed the door behind him. Y/N curiously looked around. It was a nice small house, with the smell of bread hanging in the air.

"Come with me," Kili said, and as Y/N was about to make a step, she noticed the puddle, and how she was soaked.

Before Y/N knew it, she was sitting in clean dry clothes, borrowed from Kili, wrapped in sweater and a blanket, sipping on warm tea.

"Kili, who is this?" Dis asked her son quietly. Kili looked at the human girl.

"Well, some boys called her names, so I went there, and then started raining, so I told her to come with me, because she told me she lives futher away, and she was soaking wet already..." Dis nodded, though she eyed her son, if he wasn't hiding anything.

"Where do you live, dearie?" Dis asked the little girl, who shyly looked around.

"I live near that small forest, my family owns multiple fields, and we work there," she admitted to the woman, who introduced herself as Dis.

"Would you like to have anything else to eat?" She offered her. Y/N shook her head. She didn't wanted to embarrass herself, and look like all she could do was to eat.

"No, thank you for your offer," she smiled, and carefully sipped on her tea.

The rain stopped, and Dis went with the girl where she lived, to explain what happened, and make sure she was safe.

Kili didn't seen the girl for next couple days, but when he was on the hunt in the forests, he overheard a conversation.

"He was cute, brown eyes and he was kind to me," Smile stretched across his lips, as he recognized that voice. He wasn't considered as too attractive among his kin, but hearing this made his heart warm up.

"Blue eyes are prettier, aren't they?" a voice of another girl said. Y/N was quiet.

"Well, they just are. Brown eyes aren't that pretty," the girl said.

"Don't you think so?" She turned to Y/N.

"W-well, um, depends on a person, I think?" The other girl got up.

"They are prettier." Kili could clearly see how Y/N looked down, and she seemed to feel sad.

He walked away, with thoughts of Y/N in his head, when he suddenly overheard some voices in the distance.

"Do you think we will find the pig today?"

"Probably. Her and her ugly drawings."

"It's not just her drawings who is ugly," the boys laughed.

"Do you remember her? 'Don't do that,' and then she went and started swearing back at us,"

"We are going to get her back, don't worry. She's slow runner, what about if we would take her things and made her run around? She would lose some weight at least."

"Great idea," other boys said. Kili felt his blood boiling.

How dare they to talk about her this way?

As the boys walked along, Kili prepared to scare them a little, but then he overheard another things.

"The guy who protected her, he has horrible taste in girls."

"Yeah, what a jerk. And those eyes the small fat pig made on him," one of them widely opened his eyes and wildly started blinking. The other boys were laughing.

Kili gripped his bow. He didn't knew the girl too much, but nobody deserved to be treated this way.

His arrows found their target quickly. The boys stopped, and looked around. Kili noticed they were really afraid, and smirked to himself.

When he came back home with two rabbits, he decided to go look around again. The sun was still not setting, so he still had some time.

His thoughts took him far away, and he didn't noticed he stepped on something, that felt like a pencil. He looked down, and realized it was a few pencils, hidden in grass, and when he looked around, he noticed sketchbook, hidden in old willow. If he wouldn't know what to look for, or didn't had as swift eyes, he wouldn't ever notice it.

He took the sketchbook out. It was familiar, and though he felt a little guilty, his curiousity was stronger.

He noticed a few sketches of trees, flowers and attempts of drawing people. They all were made with precision. They were not as realistic, but that certainly didn't mean they were not nice. It was drawn by someone, who was still learning, but truly excited about it.

Kili put it back carefully, and got back home.

It's been a few weeks, when he met the girl again. He came home with Fili from sword training, and his eyes widened when he noticed Dis with Y/N, chatting in the kitchen.

"Hi," she greeted them shyly.

"We have first strawberries, so I thought I would bring some for you," she shyly looked at Kili.

"Stop it," you muttered. Kili rose his brow.

"Oh, what is it?" He looked her into face, and noticed her shy smile, while he was grinning.

"You made me obsessed with these strawberry cakes your grandma bakes, can I have another one?" He made puppy eyes. Y/N sighed.

"Fine. But don't distract me, okay?" Y/N handed him the sweet pastry, and Kili winked at her.

"You're the best," He kissed her cheek quicker, than he thought of it. They both deeply blushed.

"Um, thank you, I suppose," Y/N muttered, and looked back into her sketchbook.

Meantime, when Kili chewed on his cake, Fili came back from his and Kili's room, and started reading a book. He started laughing, and Kili quickly took a look what was his brother laughing about.

"C'me read this, Y/N, this is so funny!" He said, but his smile froze, as he noticed her ashamed expression.

"What happened, Bunnie?" He used the nickname he gave her, because she loved bunnies. Y/N sighed.

"Well, um...it's embarrassing," she whispered.

"Neither of us will laugh at you, I promise," Fili said, and the girl looked at both of them. She took a deep breath.

"Icannotread," she muttered, and quickly looked away.

"You can't...read?" Y/N nodded shamefuly.

"It's, um...the school is too far for me to go alone there, so, um...yeah." The brothers shared a look, which Y/N took in different meaning. She felt tears in her eyes, but Fili was quick enough to notice.

"No, we won't laugh at you, Y/N!" He said and pulled the girl into a bear hug. Kili quickly joined.

"Yeah, Bunnie, don't worry. We would never laugh at you," Y/N relaxed in the hug.

"Thank you," she muttered, and hugged them back.

They spend rest of the day by teaching her how to read, and write. Soon after, Y/N started studying with the brothers.

"You are distracting me," Y/N muttered, as Kili was kicking his legs back and forth. It was summer - over four months after they met. Y/N sat up on the tree, and Kili was sitting down on branch a little lower.

"How can be that possible?" He looked at her innocently. Y/N blushed, when she seen his big brown eyes in sunlight. They were in shades of melted gold and caramel.

"The tree is shaking, and I want to enjoy reading this book without distractions."

"I'm not a distraction!" Kili pouted.

"You are," Y/N offered him a smile, and got back to her book. Kili pouted a little more.

"Will you read it to me, then?" Y/N looked at him, and dramatically sighed.

"Fine. But let's sit down on the ground," Kili got down, and then he carefully placed his hands around her waist, Y/N placed her hands on his shoulders for support, and he put her down.

Y/N sat down, her back leaning against the tree, and Kili placed his head on her lap. Y/N smoothed her skirt and placed her book next to her, so she could read it, while playing with Kili's hair.

Y/N was the only one allowed to touch Kili's hair, aside from Kili's family. She never understood why dwarves were such touchy about their hair, but again, she was the same way, so she fully respected it.

Kili fell asleep after a while, on the sound of her voice.

"You the last cake I said was mine!" Y/N growled out and Kili laughed, but he quickly stopped laughing.

After the months of spending time together, running around the fields and archery lessons, she got much stronger, so her punches had strength and would hurt. Kili and Fili would never hit or fight with a girl, and though Y/N became like another part of the family, only tickle fights were allowed with her.

"You-you Kili!" Y/N was more upset than angry, and Kili started laughing again, as he was jumping around and trying to get away from her punches.

"Stop, Bunnie," and tickled her.

"N-NO-T T-HAT P-PLAC-E, K-KI-LI!" Kili grinned.

"Awn, who is ticklish?"

"I ha-te you!" Y/N slid her hand across the back of his neck, and Kili let out a squeal.

"N-NOO!" You giggled as you started tickling him.

"Gotcha," You sticked out your tongue on him, and quickly runned away to hide, before he would get you back.

You runned, but didn't noticed when you bumped into someone.

"Aah, long time no see," a voice said, and you shivered.

"You squeled on us, huh? Is that everything you can do? You loser," the boy said. Y/N kept quiet, with her head down.

"Oh, look guys, she's going to cry! What are you gonna do? Run to your mommy, or your friends? Go on, you tettle-tale." Elle felt tears in her eyes, and quickly looked up.

"I'm not a tettle-tell, I-"

"That's what you say, and then you will go and tell your mommy about 'the big boys are bullying you'," they laughed. Elle wished she could hide somewhere, and try to cry. She wasn't able to cry, even when she was alone, as she learned to hide her tears.

Whoosh

And then a yelp from the boys.

Y/N looked up and noticed the arrow in one of the surrounding trees. It was Kili's arrow.

"You told someone to spy?! You will pay for this later," one of the boys said, and then another two arrows pierced through the air. The boys quickly walked away, leaving her alone.

Kili runned out from behind the trees, and pulled her close to his chest. He started saying something angrily in Khuzdul, and Y/N was sure those were swear words.

"Shh, it's okay, I'm here," Kili whispered, when he finished his quick session of swear words. Y/N shook in his embrace.

"Let's go home," he said. They picked up his arrows, and went home.

Kili made Y/N tea and gave her his favourite sweater, which also happened to be her favourite as well.

When Y/N went to sleep, Kili checked her every few minutes. He felt guilty. He should've protected her better, stay with her.

He carefully sat to the edge of the bed, and slid his thumb softly over her cheek.

"I will make sure they get what they deserve," he muttered and softly caressed her cheek.

"Sure, I will go with Bella and Alia, you don't need to worry about me, I will be safe," Elle gave Kili a smile. Her two friends from her neighbourhood, with who she enjoyed to spend time too.

"I just don't want you to get hurt," he shrugged, and sharpened his dagger. Y/N started on brushing her hair.

"The boys won't do anything, if they meet us in a group. Plus Fili gave me that sharp dagger for my fourteenth birthday, I always keep in my shoe."

Kili looked at his friend, focused on brushing out the knots in her hair. Y/N grew up and changed the way she reacted to what other people told her. But that wasn't just what changed.

She grew up into a young woman. She was beautiful, and some girls were jealous of her because of it, but luckily, Y/N had great friends.

"You home, sleeping beauty?"

"Oh, of course I am!" Kili grinned as he heard Bella's voice.

"No, you are snoring beauty."

"That's Fili!"

"That's both of you," Y/N rolled her eyes, but chuckled. She and Kili said their goodbyes to each other, and her friends she knew for three and two years, turned to her.

"So, how was your date?" Y/N blushed.

"He gave me flowers for my birthday, so what? That's what friends do." Y/N turned to Alia to change the topic.

"How about you and girls?" The blonde rolled her eyes.

"Some of them are arrogant, but other than that it's good. But I have you, so I don't care," she grinned and hugged her friends around their shoulders.

"So, what do you-" Bella started, when a group of boys passed them. They whistled, and started talking about them. Y/N's cheeks blushed, as she overheard them.

"Don't listen to those idiots, they still share one brain cell," Bella and Y/N said at once, and they all laughed, though Y/N didn't felt any happiness. Her instinct to run and hide from these boys was still there.

And then we arrived to the market. I still looked around if they were not there, but luckily not, Y/N wrote down the sentence, and put the notebook aside. She felt happy they didn't recognized her, but it still stressed her out. She looked over to the bow and quier with arrows Kili gifted her, when she had thirteenth birthday.

"Trouble with sleeping?" Kili's raspy voice appeared behind her.

"Yeah," Y/N sighed out, and pat on the bed next to her.

"C'me here, snoring beauty," Kili chuckled at that nickname.

"Ugh, again?" You nodded with a grin.

As you laid in safety of Kili's arms (and him being soundly asleep), your mind turned into a specific direction. Would Kili like you? Not just as a friend, but...more?

You'd fall asleep like this, if you had bad dreams. Kili fell asleep first, and softly snored, but he looked cute while doing so. You shook your head, and decided to listen to his breath, and soon, you fell asleep yourself.

The memories of the times you used to be bullied by those boys came back. You didn't felt confident at all, and mostly sad. You couldn't fall asleep at night, and you often found yourself looking over your body. Fat pig, that's how they called her. Was she still...like this? Would she ever be pretty enough?

It's been a while, since she cried before sleep, and then fell asleep afterwards.

The brothers noticed something was going on, when their friend seemed to be bothered by something. So, they decided to do thing they always did, which was making flowercrowns together.

"You're messing it up, Fili," you giggled, when the blonde prince's flowercrown fell apart.

For fifth time in twenty minutes.

"Well, I'll go get some fresh flowers, over here," he pointed to the carpet of daisies in the golden light of setting sun.

"Guess who," Said smooth voice next to your ear, when his hands covered your face.

"Hmm, is that you, Ki?"

"Who else."

Kili sat in front of you, and placed a flowercrown on your head. You both stood up, and he twirled you around.

"I've got you something else," he whispered.

"Flowers," you looked happily over the small fresh bouquet of wild flowers, and felt warmth spreading in you. You looked into his chocolate eyes.

"Kili, thank you so much, it's...it's beautiful,"

"Not nearly as beautiful as you," he looked deeply into your eyes.

"Flowers for a girl," he said, with a slightly pink-tinted cheeks.

"Now finally braid her hair," the lion prince's voice interrupted the romantic scene.

#kili #the hobbit #fili #kili x reader #fili x reader #fanfiction #the hobbit fanfiction #x reader #reader insert

55 notes · View notes

sa-nddd · 4 years

Text

Bestie Headcanons

being besties with the dream smp characters.

idk, I was looking through pintrest and saw a bunch of bestie pics, so I thought I'd write something 'bout it.

Dream

would totally be the kind to carry you everywhere.

just walks up to you, leans down and throws you over his shoulder.

"Where are we going, again?"

if you are wearing a skirt or dress, he would pick you up bridal style, making sure to be wary of the length of it.

this mf-

he would be a meanie.

but like, also a sweetie.

would steal your food, then offer you the rest of his meal.

if you need anything, he's got it.

cuddles. all day. every day. 25/8

man's just wants attention.

would force you to get into the cart to push you around the store.

Sapnap

definetly the type to wanna wear matching fits.

if he sees a shirt he likes, he gets one in your size, too.

When he's streaming, you are in the room or house.

If he's not, you two are at your place

not ashamed to ask for affection.

you guys go on drives and listen to different playlist depending on your moods.

you have eachothers passwords to everything.

he constantly posts from your account.

the fans love when he does.

he sometimes posts without knowing it's yours LMAO

you guys always make eachother playlists.

he probably forced you to start streaming with him.

if you aren't together, you are definitely on facetime.

he would let you paint his nails tbh.

George

He seems like he wouldn't be clingy, but i think otherwise.

Man's just has trouble trusting people.

He needs comfort, so you provide that for him.

his pets love you.

would be the type to buy something if it reminds him of you.

he's a bit of a introvert, so you guys stay home alot.

when he's streaming, you are either making a cameo in the background, or doing something around the house.

you just lay in his bed on your phone, or doing school work or something.

maybe fixing a shirt or sewing something.

chat always says hi to you.

then he got his green screen.

chat was upset that they couldn't see you, so he had to lower it to get you to wave from your spot on the bed.

chat was happy after.

Quackity

Alex definitely has you on his streams.

whether it be a short cameo or a bit he thought of, he likes your company.

on stream, he would be annoying, yelling for a CapriSun or something.

off stream, he's a sweetheart.

If you even mention something, he's bringing it to you.

You guys go shopping together.

You always steal his button ups. they low-key really comfy.

he constantly steals your phone.

you tease him alot, just like chat.

chat fucking loves you.

if he starts streaming and you haven't showed up, they are yelling at him.

Sometimes, you dress up to match Alex.

Like during his cooking stream, you randomly popped up in the middle of it wearing a nice black dress.

you guys play music together often.

you sing along to the songs he plays, and chat loves it.

they beg you to sing together every stream.

Karl

oh boy

this man, this man

fucking sweetheart all around.

always puts you first.

the type to physically perk up when your are with him.

when you walk in when he's streaming,

"Y/N!!!"

*tackles you*

"karl I saw you five minutes ago-"

"and?"

...

he's adorable. a smol puppy.

he's constantly clinging to you.

at the store? arms linked.

streaming? holding your hand.

no seriously, if you guys got in an argument you would sit with your backs together and pinkies linked.

he would probably drag you to his Mr. Beast things.

you are like his emotional support human :>

he also likes to match.

he makes you wear outfits he picked out to do insta photoshoots.

mirror pics. that's it. that's the post.

the fans love it.

another to let you paint his nails.

he shows chat when you do.

"LOOK CHAT!!!" *shows off his purple nails*

y'all use nicknames.

like, mine irl is nana, so I'ma use that one.

"Nana, can you tell dream to stop killing me?" *pouts*

"Of course, bubba." *proceeds to murder dream for fucking with karl*

Tommy

he is totally not clingy.

you can totally go hang out with other people.

it's not like he blows up your phone and whines when you do.

totally not

anyways

he's the kind to bully you, but it's somehow affectionate?

going by my height, you are short. 5'1 to be exact.

so obviously, he's gonna tease you about it

"You are so fucking short lmaooo fucking ant"

*cue you kicking his ankles*

"WHAT THE FUCK Y/N"

he's actually very different off camera.

he's a lot quieter, and he is very passionate.

he likes to give you hugs.

hugs you at least 40 times a day.

I don't make the rules :)

Tubbo

chaotic asf

cuddly asf

and overall just a bundle of sunshine.

he be the kind to learn different things to do them for you.

he watched a bunch of videos to learn how to braid your hair.

he's a professional now.

he also learned how to paint nails, do makeup, and straighten hair.

he is full of surprises.

you two have a modded server with a bunch of his streamer friends, but it's not public info.

You were the one who introduced him to ukulele and the keyboard.

you have the friendship where you do everything together.

if one of you wants to try something, the other will, too.

Ranboo

you guys' humor? immaculate.

the type of friends who are akward with everyone BUT eachother.

you guys can be so awkward, but that all goes put the window when you are together.

you go on random trips to Walmart just to run around the toy isle.

you guys take turns pushing the basket and being in it.

basically yin and yang.

you are the more out going person, and he's more self reserved.

Your parents are so used to you guys being together, that they don't question when one of you comes over anymore.

your texts are so fucking chaotic

no one can understand them but you two.

you guys are the type to make up a secret code LMAO

he got his fashion sense from you.

Wilbur

your friendship is iconic.

the type of friends that would most likely end up in jail together KEKW

everyone is envy of you two.

he taught you how to sing and play guitar.

you do vocals for his songs sometimes.

You go ghost hunting together often

you have so many aesthetically pleasing polaroids of eachother.

Chat loves when you appear on his streams.

you are constantly checking oh his mental health, because knowing your best friend was hurting badly at one point hurts you.

just the thought that he was in so much pain at one point makes you physically ill.

He worries for you, too.

He knows what it feels like, and he doesn't want you to go through that.

you guys support eachother so much it's wholesome

when he does singing streams, he sometimes drags you to sing with him.

you guys cry together sometimes, and it is honestly refreshing.

over all very chaotic and emotional.

Niki

besties.

people wish they had your friendship.

you both can't stick to one aesthetic LMAO

you share clothes and things alot.

she loves having you on her streams, her chat does aswell.

you take alot of pictures together.

you both do alot of wholesome things, like bake and plant.

you are eachother's hype women.

she's taller than you, so her clothes are more baggy.

which you love, it's apart of your main aesthetic.

you have a ton of sleepovers.

you paint eachother's nails often.

you love her hugs, they are so warm and comforting.

you make sure she's happy, and she does the same to you.

you both speak in german alot, and if you didn't know it, she taught you it.

very wholesome and cute. 10/10 recommend.

57 notes · View notes

aidanrgallagher7 · 4 years

Text

Love in The Midst of Doomsday~

Five Hargreaves × Reader

Chapter Three

Chapter Four: Day Four

Word Count 3.4k

Warnings: fluff, slight angst, mentions of past trauma: panic attack and anxiety in this chapter.

Carrying Luther to the car was a struggle, to say the least. He is half man, half ape, meaning twice the deadweight to carry. It took all three of you to get him in the car, and Vanya drove us back to Luther's little shack that he's been living in for the past year being in Dallas. Luther woke up once she stopped the car, convenient for the three of you.

Luther "Where the hell am I?"

Five "Good morning sleepy head, you just got home!"

Luther "Five? What happened, why am I in this car..with you and Vanya..and-" he looks at you.

"Hi, my name is Y/n."

Luther "Why are you here?"

Five "Because she is my wife." Luther inhaled so deeply that he started choking on his own saliva, which made Five get a good chuckle.

Luther "I'm sorry, I must have heard that wrong-"

Five "Have you forgotten that I am way older than you, number one?" Luther rolls his eyes, "Why is it so hard for all of you to comprehend that I am old enough to be married?!"

Luther "Because you don't look a day over sixteen..and neither does your wife."

"What happened to Five, happened to me as well. It is just as weird for us as it is for all of you. But this is just how it is right now.."

Luther sighs, "I am sorry for freaking out..you seem like a nice girl."

Vanya "Do you want to go inside? You got hit really hard." Luther touches his head and flinches from the pain.

Luther "Yeah, I think that'd be a good idea. It was nice to meet you Y/n."

"..you too."

Five "Lovely seeing you, as always Luther." He smiled fakely. Luther does not respond, only opening up the car door and slamming it behind him.

Five chuckles, "Dad should've left him on the moon." You sigh and fix a piece of hair that had fallen into his green eyes.

"Vanya will talk to him. He'll come around, he has too."

Five nods, "I still need to find Klaus and Allison."

"We will." He nods and pulls you into his chest and holds you for a little while. After what feels an hour passes by, Five gets impatient and gets out of the car to stretch his legs. All of a sudden, there is a hole in the brick wall, where Luther is supposedly staying. Five looks up and he sees his brother's fist through the wall and laughs to himself.

"What the hell?!"

Five "I guess things aren't going well.."

"Mmm.." you were going to say something but Vanya came walking down the sidewalk.

Five "Well that went well-"

Vanya "I'm going back to the farm."

Five "What are you talking about?! You can't do that-we all need to stick together!"

Vanya "Were you ever going to tell me?" Five looks at her confused, "Y'know, the real reason that caused the apocalypse?" Five looks up and curses towards his brother but you couldn't tell what he was saying. "Why didn't you tell me!? Were you ever going to-?""

Five "No, can you blame me?"

"Five.."

Five "-When you get mad..shit blows up." You sigh to yourself, knowing that was not the right way to tell her about her powers.

Vanya shrugs, "Great. Any other family issues that you have to tell me about?" She gets in the car and you get out of the car.

Five "Plenty! But there is no time for…" he stops talking because her window is still up, so he knocks on the window for her to roll it down. When she does, he continues his side of the conversation. "Look, the time is ticking on doomsday. So please tell me that when I need you, you'll be ready."

Vanya "I can't help you Five, I don't even know who I am."

Five "You are our sister!"

Vanya "I was, I'm not that person anymore. New timeline, new me." And then she drove off.

Five "THAT'S NOT HOW THIS WORKS!-" she continued to drive off, leaving you and Five behind.

"Well, this took a drastic turn.."

Five huffs, "We don't have time for this..come on, let's get back to your father's." He takes your hand and he blinks the two of you back to your father's apartment building.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you guys return, you find Diego and Lila on the sofa. Lila is dressing Diego's stab wound while snacking, while your father is rushing around the house like a madman.

Diego "Where have you been?"

Five "Found Vanya..and saw Luther again."

Diego "Wait, you did?"

Five "Yeah..you were out when she used her powers in an open field. By the way I see it, the Swedes found her and tried to eliminate her, but she got scared of course..and you know what happens when she gets scared..or mad."

Diego "Will they come back?"

Five sighs, "I don't know."

Diego "And you let her go, why?!"

Five "I couldn't stop her from leaving, Diego. She'll come around. Just give her time." Elliot hands him a cup of coffee and you your cup as well.

"Thanks dad." He smiles and kisses your head.

Elliot "You good, kiddo?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Just tired, that's all."

Elliot "Maybe stay home tonight, huh?"

"I'll think on that, thanks again for the coffee daddy." His eyes sparkle for a moment, hearing you call him daddy made his heart just about burst.

Lila "Do you know who sent them..the Swedes?"

Five "Oh, I have my suspicions." He grins and takes a sip of his coffee. "But the main priority is to find dad and get some answers. Because everything else depends on it."

Diego "I had him-"

Five "Yeah and you let him go-"

Diego "He stabbed me."

Lila laughs and offers him a high five, to which he does not contribute too.

Five "Good news is, I know where dad is going." He says as he takes a piece of paper out of his pocket. You sit down next to him and he shows it to you first, before handing it to Diego.

"This is great news!" He smiles and then he hands it over for his brother to read.

Diego "Where did you find this?"

Five "In dad's office, while he was busy stabbing you." He smiles.

Diego *fakes a laugh* "Hoyt Hillenkoetter and the Consulate General of Mexico in Dallas cordially invite you to a gala-"

Elliot "Wait, Hillenkoetter?"

Five "Yeah, why? Do you know em?"

Elliot "Hillenkoetter is one of the Majestic Twelve!"

Diego "The Majestic Twelve?"

Elliot "They are a secret committee of scientists, military, deep state. They are the shadow government." He says as he rummages through some papers on his desk and pulls out a photograph. "Here." He hands it to Five to take a look at. "Kennedy was the first president to ever try to push them into the light but the committee is not one to be toyed with.."

Five looks closer and closer at the picture, "That is Hoyt right there." Elliot said as he pointed to a man.

Diego "I only count eleven."

"Then who is the twelfth?" Five looks at you and then at Diego when he realizes that the twelfth person is their father.

Five "This only means that we need to talk to dad before he goes through whatever the hell the committee is planning."

Diego "We should get ready." Five nods and gulps down the last few sips of his coffee and then he goes into your room to clean himself up.

Lila "You look exhausted darling." She says as you lay your head back against the sofa.

"Sorry.."

Lila "I wasn't asking for an apology, you can't help being tired, Y/n."

You nod and offer her a smile, "Thanks."

Lila "What else is wrong?"

"Just have a lot on my mind."

Diego "That is to be expected." You nod, "But we'll get through it. All of us."

"I know we will."

Diego "You know, I am glad that you are here Y/n. You are a nice addition to this insane, dysfunctional family." You giggle.

"Thank you Diego, that means a lot."

Diego "Of course. If you need anything, I'll gladly help you, alright?" You thank him again, "I mean, I will gladly beat up Five if he ever does anything to you.." you burst out laughing and roll your eyes.

"He is a great husband."

Diego puts his hands up in defense, "Alright, I'm just making sure. But seriously, if you need anything, I'm there."

"Thank you Diego, really..thank you." He pats your hand and gets up from the sofa.

"Come on Lila, we have to get dressed up for the GALA!" He dramatized 'gala' to make us all laugh.

Lila "Yes sir." She solutes him and then winks at you before leaving the room. You begin to rub away the little headache that is starting to form in your brain.

Elliot "That's it, you are staying home!"

"Oh my god."

Elliot "Nope. You are staying home and you are resting with your old dad while Five and Diego go to that Gala."

"But what if-"

Five "You are staying home, hun." You look behind you and see Five standing in your bedroom doorway with his arms crossed over his chest.

You huff, "Why?"

Five "Just come here, will you?" You stand up and make your way over to your bedroom and wait for Five to shut the door behind him. "I want you to stay here babe."

"Why? I can help."

Five "I know that you can, but you have helped so much these last few days..you can rest tonight."

"But what if something happens? I can be there to help-"

Five "This is mine and Diego's family business. Our father will not know us and things can get dangerous."

"It already did, Five. Diego got stabbed."

Five "That is my point Y/n, I don't want that to happen to you."

"Have you forgotten that I was the one who trained you, Five?" He snickers and grins. "I showed you everything that you know. I just can't blink like you can, that is the only difference that we have between the two of us."

Five "Baby, I know how strong you are. I know how talented you are at what you do..I just have a gut feeling that you should stay home." You start to walk away from him and you sit down on your bed. He blinks his way over to you instead of walking, which makes you jolt.

"You could've walked."

Five "But where's the fun in that?" He makes you laugh and in return, he laughs. You are the only person that brings him joy. The only person that makes him genuinely happy. "But I am being serious Y/n. Please stay home, for me..stay home."

"Okay. Alright, I will." He blinks long out of relief those words gave him.

Five "Thank you..now come on." He takes your hand.

"Where are we going now?!"

Five "To shower, we need it." Both of you smile and head towards the shower to relax and enjoy each other's company before he leaves for only god knows how long tonight.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later that night, you watched Five, Diego and Lila leave to go to that Gala. You really wanted to go with them but Five would not allow it. For some reason, you could not change his mind. So as they went, you stayed back with your dad.

Elliot "Oh, why such a long face?" You just look at him, "Now why such a mad face?" That makes you giggle a bit. He sits down next to you and pulls you into his arms.

"I just have to stop worrying.."

Elliot "Yes, you do. Five is strong-"

"I taught him how to be an assassin."

Elliot's eyes got big, "Of course you did..all of the more reason why you need to stop worrying."

"Mhm.." you get up to get something to drink while your dad turns on the television to see if anything good was on. Sadly, there was nothing on but stupid politics because the president is coming to town. You roll your eyes as you hear some of the bullshit that comes from the news peoples mouths.

Elliot "I know, I know..I'm turning it-" there is a knock on the door, startling the two of you. It couldn't be Five or Diego because Five would have just blinked his way in like he always does. "I got it sweetie." He walks over to the door and opens it. Revealing a huge man in the doorway, carrying some of his belongings.

Elliot "Can I help you?"

The man "I am looking for Five..he's my brother. He said that he would be here." You walk up to him and much to your relief, you see Luther.

Luther "Y/n!" He drops his belongings and pulls you in for a huge bear hug. You almost don't know what to do because you don't know him like you know Diego, but nonetheless, you hug him back.

"Hey, what are you doing here?"

Luther "Five told me that he would be here..is he?"

"Uh no, him and Diego just left actually."

Luther "Ah, okay. Do you know when he will be back?"

"No," you laugh, "I never know when he will be back."

Luther laughs, "Yeah well neither do his siblings.."

Elliot "Um, you are welcome to stay until he comes back." Luther places his things down on the floor and sinks his body into the sofa. "Bad day?"

Luther "Yeah." He said as he looked around the room, focusing on a bottle of nitrous.

Elliot chuckles, "Want some nitrous?" You roll your eyes.

"That is my que..goodnight boys."

Luther "Uh, you don't want-"

"No, I'll pass. You two have fun though."

Elliot "Goodnight sweetie." You just nod and head to your bed.

You hear the two of them talking gibberish so loudly that you couldn't even rest. You have to admit that some of the things that they would say made you laugh so hard that your stomach started to hurt. But then you would remember that your boys were still at that Gala and you have no idea what is going on. The stress and anxiety it brung you made you feel nauseous. You had to repeat to yourself that he is fine, that he is okay, and that he can handle anything. But even the strongest can be unmatched with a single gunshot. That is what worries you, hell, it worried you while you had to work special jobs for the Handler a few months ago. There was a mole in the Commission and she made you fish him out. Things got messy and you ended up with a bullet wound in your side. You made it out, but the mole didn't. It was either you or him, and you had to live. Yes, you lost an old friend but he turned on you, he gave you no other choice. You put your head in the palm of your hands because you can't believe that you are thinking back on that tragedy. You even find yourself feeling for your scar over top of your shirt.

"Come on, why do you have to do this to yourself?!" You ask yourself. "Come on, pull yourself together..pull yourself together." You repeat to yourself over and over until you stop hyperventilating. Thinking about your past when Five was gone, brings you such heartache that it leaves you shaking in the corner of your room every single time. You found that repeating that same mantra that it calms you down as best as you can without the help of Five. He knows that you struggle and he helps you immensely. So when he was gone, not only did you struggle without him, you had to deal with the loss of him as well. Needless to say, those five years were the worst years of your life.

You force yourself up onto your bed and you position yourself into a tight human ball and hold yourself until you fall asleep from being mentally exhausted.

…

You feel a change in temperature and a flash of blue light comes into your room. You slowly blink your eyes to wake yourself up to find Five sitting at the edge of your bed.

"..hey." you say sleepily. You hear his sniffle before he looks at you. "Five..your nose-"

Five "Yeah, I know." You are wide away now, rushing yourself towards his side. You grab a tissue and start to wipe the little blood that was coming from his left nostril.

"What happened to you?"

Five grunts as he takes off his blazer, "The Swedes were there. They ambushed all of us."

"Oh my god-"

Five "Lila got the guy off of me." He thinks back on that exact moment. He remembers how shocked he was, how puzzled he was on why she would save him over Diego.

"She fought them off of me but not Diego..she has a hard on for Diego!"

"What, do you think that she's-"

Five "Part of the Commission, yes I do."

"If she was, we would know her."

Five "Not if the Handler has been hiding her, Y/n. Why else would she save me, huh?"

"I don't know. Maybe she has grown to like you-"

Five "Come on Y/n, wake up! We worked for that woman for years! She has tried to kill the both of us multiple times! Why is it wrong to think that Lila was sent here to spy on us?" You don't know what to say. All you can do is think. Think back on every time you almost died doing one of her missions, thinking about how you almost lost Five so many times. And how the Handler was always right there, while it was happening. It makes you sad to think that the woman who took you in, could be the woman who is trying to kill you and your husband.

Five "Hey.."

"Hmm? Sorry I was thinking."

Five "Look, I'm not saying that I know for sure but tonight made it pretty damn obvious to me that my suspicions are correct."

"So what do we do?"

Five paces around the room, scratching his head as he walked, "I don't know yet. But I don't want you alone with her, understood?"

"Yeah." He hears the worry in your voice and his anger quickly subsides and his husband-side comes out. He cups your cheeks and he calmly kisses your lips.

Five "I'm sorry for yelling."

"I know. Thank you for telling me your suspicions..and I believe you."

Five nods and places your hair behind your ears, "How was your night?"

"Oh..Luther is here."

Five "WHAT?"

"Yeah uh, he showed up like a half an hour after you all left."

Five "Son of a bitch." He heads for the door but you stop him.

"Him and my dad are high off of nitrous, you aren't going to be able to talk to him tonight."

Five chuckles, "And he's supposed to be the leader in this family." He laughs to himself. "I have to do everything.."

"Not alone Five. Never alone. You have me..remember?"

Five "I know hun, I love you. I love you so much." He holds you before kissing your entire face.

"Come on, let's get you cleaned up so we can go to bed."

Five "Sounds amazing." He smiles and lets you help him and clean off the dried blood off of his body. You are used to seeing Five battered so this is nothing new to you. Does it ever get easier? No, of course not. But you have learned how to cope with it and so has Five.

Five "I'm done with this life Y/n. I'm done killing, I'm done working for that woman..I'm done with it all. I just want to live this second chance that we were given..peacefully. Me and you, maybe some kids running around our house..few pets..just peacefully."

You nod, "That sounds like a plan to me."

Five "Yeah?"

"Yeah. Me and you, kids and some pets..what more could a girl ask for?"

Five "I love you."

"And I love you." You finish up and then he pulls you into his arms and holds you as you both fall asleep within minutes of being in bed. The thought of being free and never returning to the Commission, honestly made you fall asleep with a huge smile on your face. Freedom will be the next chapter in your and Five's life. If the two of you make it out of this upcoming doomsday..

@moriartysringtone7137 @a-mess-of-fandoms @noellehnsherr @oh-chuck-help-me @honeybee-cherie @cocoa-creampuff @dyor @dagdrommers-blog @yikes-matey @s0ftd3m0n @itzel17 @qualitymugghostrebel @asphodelshare @ecwrenn @lilablosom @jellytoru @emily-b-m

#aidan gallagher #the umbrella academy #five #five hargreeves #love in the midst of doomsday

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n7inky-fanfics · 3 years

Text

Shore Leave

CW: mention of suicide, injuries from gunfight

"Shore leave, always an adventure." Kaidan says as they exit the Normandy. This shore leave has definitely been an adventure. After all, it began with Hazel Shepard being shot at in one of the best sushi restaurants on the Citadel and ended with taking back the Normandy from her clone, who promptly committed suicide by allowing herself to fall from the ship. The friends exit the docks and begin their shore leave again, hoping that they can truly enjoy the rest of it. After Joker suggests a party, Shepard sits down on the couch with a beer in hand. She'll definitely need a stiffer drink to process this all later, but for now she wants time to think and rest relatively unimpeded. Kaidan was right, shore leave is always an adventure. She snuggles into the couch and recalls the first shore leave she took with Kaidan.

--- --- --- --- --- --- ---

They had just left Feros when they got the order from the Alliance. After the stress and strain of that mission and all it involved, the Alliance thought it best for them to take a weekend of shore leave on the Citadel. As the ship flew back to the Citadel, the crew was abuzz with excitement and plans for their weekend. As someone who spent the past decade in the Alliance and planned to spend many future decades serving, Shepard had learned to take shore leave whenever she could get it. Despite this, she felt a little unsure about taking even a weekend off from trying to find Saren. Despite what the Council and Udina thought, she knew the truth. The galaxy depended on her to save it. That's a heavy burden to bear, and at the time it was one she was inexperienced with.

The Alliance could make her dock her ship and send her crew on shore leave, but she could spend her weekend improving her singularity in biotic training centers and researching Saren and the Reapers using her Spectre access to open otherwise classified files. She planned to take anything she'd need with her, just in case they tried locking her off the ship to make her take a break. She had just finished packing her bag and was heading to the mess for dinner when she was approached by Lieutenant Alenko and Gunnery Chief Williams.

"Hey, skipper. What are you planning on doing once we hit the Citadel?" Ash asked, a large grin spreading across her face. Kaidan looked nervous and glanced at Ash like she was torturing him.

"Ah, just planning on getting some work done over the weekend." Shepard shrugged.

"You going to dinner, Shepard?" Kaidan asked.

Ash looked to him, surprised, then smiled and added "If you are, you should join us!"

"Sure, sounds good." Shepard said. Some time with her crew sounded nice. They'd already seen a lot together. Their journey to stop Saren led them to rescue Liara from Therum and later to save colonists on Feros from both the Geth and an ancient, sentient plant. Shepard knew, even then, that their journey would lead them to more impossible and mind-blowing things. The bonds you build over experiences like that can last a lifetime, if you let them evolve.

They trio walked to the mess together and got their plates. As they sat down, Ash shoved Kaidan lightly with her elbow and looked towards Shepard. Kaidan cleared his throat and said "So, Shepard... You're not going to take any time for yourself?"

"I'm glad the crew will get a chance to rest. It's definitely necessary to keep everyone at their best. But, I don't think the whole ship can be off at once. Not while we're trying to stop Saren."

"C'mon, Skipper. You need a rest, too!" Ash smiled.

"You could come to Flux with us the night we arrive. After, you'd have the rest of the weekend to get work done." Kaidan said.

"Or to relax some more. " Ash added with a laugh.

Hazel laughed, too, as she said "Alright, alright. You've got me. I'll go with you."

And so, after an "enjoyable" Alliance-standard dinner and an uneventful docking, they went to Flux for a late drink. As most Alliance soldiers do, they went in their fatigues because it's all they keep on the ship. Doran gave them a table near the dance floor and Jenna told them their first round was on her as thanks for getting her out of Chora's Den.

One drink and pleasant chatter turned into two and then three drinks. Shepard hadn't been able to relax like this since before the Normandy left on her shakedown run, and she hadn't laughed like this since Akuze. It was a wonderful night. Eventually, Ash dragged the three of them out onto the dance floor, only to sneak away so that Kaidan and Shepard were dancing alone. When Hazel realized, she blushed bright red and excused herself to the restroom.

She was falling for him, and she knew she couldn't let that happen. Kaidan was great, and be had so much potential. She knew that anything between him could stand in the way of his career as well as hers. She stood at the sink and splashed some water on her face in the otherwise empty bathroom, or at least she had thought it was empty.

Suddenly, broad Turian arms were around her. One was pinning her arms to her side, while the other was against her throat, joking her. She flared her biotics as she threw her weight backwards, driving the Turian into the wall with a thud. That's when she saw the gun trained on her from the vent in the ceiling. She raced out the bathroom and a bullet ran through her right arm at the shoulder. Instinct drove her, and she firmly pressed her hand to the wound as she fled.

She must have been quite the sight when she emerged from the bathroom. Despite the noise and flashing lights, her companions almost immediately spotted her. They stood quickly and ran to her side as she found Doran.

"We need to evacuate, now." She said.

"We can't just evacuate, what about-" Doran began.

"I just got attacked in you bathroom and was shot. Your customers are in danger. Call C-Sec and evacuate." She used her patent "Commander Shepard" voice. Even through the suite, she could tell that she scared the Volus a little. "Williams, help Doran get everyone out of here through the shipping entrance. Alenko-"

She stopped as she saw the Turian who had attacked her from behind making his way towards them. Whoever had hired him didn't want collateral damage. If it hadn't been a concern, he'd have been shooting at her by then. This worked well because it was one less thing to worry about. "No time! Alenko, Williams, follow me!" She ran through the club to the main entrance. They followed suite. The merc was joined by two others, and soon they were on the hunt. Despite her best efforts to contain the bleeding, Shepard was leaving a bloody trail right to them. There was no way they'd be able to lose them like this, and Shepard didn't think she'd want to lose them, anyways. She headed to the alleyways behind the market. "Alenko, Williams, go get C-Sec. We're going to need guns."

"What about you, Commander?" Kaidan asked.

"I'll hold them off. They're going to be on us no matter what. I'd rather be somewhere a stray bullet won't hit a civilian. Go, get C-Sec. That's an order."

They ran towards C-Sec as Shepard began prying open crates of merchandise for the market. She found nothing of use, so she positioned herself near some crates just as her pursuers arrived in the alley.

"What do you want?" She asked, her voice steely and calm.

"Saren sends his regards." The Turian merc sneered as his companions chuckled. Shepard used her biotics to throw the man against the wall. The idiot hadn't worn a helmet, probably because he was being cocky. He hit his head against an emergency light sticking out from the wall and his body slumped to the ground. The moment of shock gave her an advantage, and she dove behind a crate as the other two opened fire. The idiots didn't even time their shots well, so she had a small break in the fire as their heatsinks overloaded. She took the opportunity and shot out a large singularity field. They both dropped their weapons as they were pulled into the field, crying out in pain. Now, she would usually give herself a moment to recharge before using her biotics again, but she didn't have that kind of time here. As soon as the field dropped them, she threw them against the wall, hard. The impact finished them off. The three mercs lay dead or unconscious in the alley.

With the immediate threat past, the adrenaline quickly began to wear off. Shepard became aware of the pain in arm and how exhausted she was. She'd pushed her biotics too hard too quickly, and the effects of forcing that much dark energy to move at once were taking a toll on her. She leaned her back against the wall and slid into a sitting position. Her arm was still bleeding, and she used what little energy she had left to keep pressure on the wound.

Kaidan and Ash came running in then along with several C-Sec officers. The guards moved to check out the mercs while Kaidan and Ash ran for Shepard. "Shepard, are you alright?" Kaidan asked as he dropped to her side.

"Nothing some medi-gel can't fix." She chuckled weakly. She must have been really pale, because Kaidan and Ash both exchanged worried glances.

"I've got some, Commander. Let me patch you up." Kaidan said. Shepard just nodded and let him work. He cut away the sleeve of her fatigues, which at this point clung to her with sweat and sticky blood. She'd definitely need a new shirt. She winced as he cleaned the wound and applied medi-gel. The sealant worked quickly, but it wasn't the military grade she was used to. It didn't pack the same punch.

The C-Sec officers confirmed that all three of the mercs died upon impact with the wall. They began the lengthy process of collecting evidence. Shepard felt a little bad that their encounter had spanned the distance between the Flux bathroom and the alleyways. The size of the crime scene alone made it lot of work. As Kaidan finished patching her wounds, he said "Wait here a moment. Dr. Michel will be here soon with a chair and an IV to get some nutrients in you."

"Nah, I'll be fine." Shepard said. She moved to pull herself to her feet with the help of a crate, but Kaidan gently held her down.

"All due respect, Commander, but you're in no condition to be walking anywhere. Between the blood loss and the overused biotics, you need to rest." Kaidan looked her in the eyes. God, she could get lost in the warmth of his deep brown eyes. She chastised herself for thinking about that at the time.

Kaidan and Ash walked with them as Dr. Michel transported Shepard back to the clinic. Dr. Chakwas met them there.

"Dr. Chakwas, it's good to see you." Shepard said, flashing a shit eating grin.

"Lieutenant Alenko informed me that you overused your biotics in your latest encounter. I came to make sure you get a good lecture about safety while we get some nutrients in your system."

"Doctor, I couldn't have planned to be attacked while on shore leave, without any weapons or armor."

"Maybe, but you still worried me. Don't do that again." Dr. Chakwas smiled gently at Shepard.

"I love shore leave." Ash smiled and patted Kaidan on the back.

"Always an adventure." Kaidan added.

#fanfic #mass effect #commander shepard #female shepard #kaidan alenko #shepard x kaidan #f!shenko #shenko #shepard #fshenko

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kokoinupi · 4 years

Text

Jitterbug (Hashiya Nanashi, feat. Hatsune Miku & MEIKO) analysis, from an autistic point of view

youtube

Disclaimer: This is based on my personal experience growing up with autism, and the experiences of the people around me. This song is also really gay by nature, so if MikuMei isn't your thing, this is your warning. Obviously this is in no way any sort of official analysis, and actually, ironically due to my autism, I may misinterpret some things or have a hard time not taking lines literally, so don't get mad at me if I get something clearly wrong. I'm just very passionate about this interpretation, and this song comes very close to representing a real (canon) autistic experience. No one else seems to comment on it from that point of view though, so naturally I had to write this up! This is also my first full analysis, and I'm not good at being concise, so please bear with me!

[[MORE]]

Overview: The video, for me, is a major factor in how Jitterbug comes across as an autistic narrative. The name itself, while it is still a reference to a 1920s dance (befitting of the electroswing style of the song), doubles as a meaning for someone who can't sit still, and actually on a personal note was an affectionate nickname my family called me as a kid, so that tipped me off right away. All throughout the video, I noticed most of all, the way Meiko moves her hands while she dances is very close to stimmy behavior, not really like how a neurotypical would normally dance (nor is it a part of the jitterbug itself). While Meiko is moving her hands like that, Miku very often has something in her mouth, either a kind of stick, or the laser pointer, definitely suggesting an oral fixation. Of course, both girls obscure their eyes with sunglasses (I think Meiko's aviators look so cool), and while that definitely has some metaphorical meaning as others have pointed out in their analyses of the song, it's really not uncommon for autistic people to wear shaders and/or noise dampeners to combat overstimulation and sensory issues. None of these things on their own prove anything, of course, as the video is often a small part of a song's meaning, so let's dive into the main course!

Lyric analysis:

I can't talk about any wishes, nor my ideals

Giving out the same, invariant answer all the time

For being the first line in this song, this really already punches home the idea that Miku is dissatisfied with herself, and, as is often the case with autistic people, doesn't even know how she's supposed to navigate the world. She either doesn't know her aspirations in life, or doesn't know how to talk about them without being judged.

You don't need a rotten yesterday

Dump it before you get betrayed

Meiko, being the free spirit in contrast to the masking, frustrated Miku, assures her that she can't just hold onto bad things that happened, being judged or not knowing herself, she needs to dump her perfectionist tendencies and learn to live as herself a little before her own precariously-built persona comes crashing down on her.

Just fully utilize it, tame it

Can't give it away nor dye it tomorrow

I'm fully ready

Meiko tells Miku that she has to learn to work with herself the way she is, find her talents and use them fully, rather than constantly trying to change or push her feelings deep down. She can't give away her personality, and she can't truly make herself different inside, no matter how hard she masks on the outside.

Hungry critics that can't even move

are just glancing at you sideways

The people who would judge Miku for who she is are just hungry for something to laugh at, someone to other or exclude, but when it comes down to it, they're no real threat. If she can just get over that initial hurdle, she'll realize her haters are just pathetically lapping at any entertainment they can get, and they're really not that scary at the end of the day.

Who cares! Ignore those idiots

Given this is the first line they sing together, it almost feels like an admission on Miku's part, she wants to believe Meiko and stand up for herself for once, even if it is just among them for now.

Come at nights, grab my hand and dance

The girls are obviously fond of each other (just gals being pals), and in a way, understand one another on a deeper level than other people understand them, having similar neurotypes. Dancing itself is sort of a wild, energetic activity, that can help express a wide variety of pent-up emotions, and the jitterbug itself is a pretty manic dance that fits the image rather well.

Use your eyes only for me and let's light it up,

Your one and only, scorching laser light

This line is honestly just gay. I don't think there's any deeper meaning to the laser light specifically, but it is a cute thing to call your funky spunky girlfriend, isn't it? It actually may be a reference to how Miku really is on the inside, bright and strange, and often blinding and scorching to others. She hides that side of her pretty well normally, but with Meiko it's not only fine to be bright and weird and full of personality, but actually encouraged.

Fitfully ranking things and aligning them vertically

Abandoning my heart, I convert them to numbers out of impulse

Honestly, upon my first translated listen of this song, I didn't think absolutely anything autistic was happening until this line hit me. This is so autistic in nature, I'm surprised that a lot of analyses leave it out. Miku not only sees the world in sets and orders and numbers like many autistics do, but actually feels (most likely from outside influence) that by her brain being wired to see the world like that, she's abandoned her humanity and become a robot.

The magic gradually faded out

Instead, pessimism flowed in and was entrenched

I'm taking a little liberty here, but many autistics with savant syndrome (and/or gifted kid syndrome) are praised in their youth for the amazing things they can do, such as doing complex math quickly or reading at a faster speed than their peers, but later in life, when those skills are either no longer relevant or have averaged out, the things they used to be praised for become seen as annoying, not something to brag about, or a burden. Miku no longer sees the way her brain works as magical and special anymore, it's a curse and proof to her that she's not like the people around her.

Struck speechless by the awful scenery,

Very clearly overstimulation.

I linger in the raining streets, soaked from head to toe

Some wait for the sun, some grumble about the rain

All pointing at me inside their umbrellas

This line could very well be taken literally, but it's most clearly just a way of describing how different Miku is truly. She doesn't see the same things as bad as other people, she doesn't see the same things as good either. She could be the type that embraces darkness in life, both literally and figuratively. People may not actually point, but she can feel eyes on her, and it makes her feel even more alienated. Even when she tries so hard to fit in, there are some parts of her that are too obvious to change, and she knows she draws attention anyway.

Who cares! Ignore them right now

Let's smile, choose my hand and sing

Feel the rhythm with your heart and dance

I'm not sure exactly why, but the line about feeling the rhythm with your heart made me feel really connected to the song. It might just be because of my own personal music stim habits, but either way it's another line about leaving behind your facade, being as true to your nature as possible, and just dancing out your worries to the beat of the song.

On this rainy stage, as bright as the scorching light

This line embraces the idea of Miku preferring the rain. No one else has to like the stage they set for themselves, because when they're together, it's just about them and what they want to do. Miku can soak herself in rain and bright, scorching light, and just exist with no one around to point and stare.

Eyes go dim and words are lost

While this can just be a reference to depression in general, it's worth noting that many autistics have trouble showing expressions, and/or go nonverbal, often in response to stress or unusually upsetting circumstances.

The colors of today have faded out

Still, it couldn't end because of someone

This can be a way of insinuating that Miku is actually suicidal due to how she's seen by others, and Meiko is the one thing keeping her here, or it could just mean that Meiko stopped her days from getting too bad in a moderate sense. Either way, pretty gay, and shows more how much the girls depend on each other in mutual understanding.

Who cares! Ignore those idiots!

Come at nights, dance and grasp your aspirations

Referring back to the first line, Meiko does assure Miku that not everything needs to be worked out for others' sake, but by spending time with your true self and unpacking your feelings, the future you're supposed to have and the things that truly make you happy will become clear.

I shall dedicate my entire life to you

Let's shine on, like the scorching light

Reach your hands out, until the very end

Miku is in lesbians with her. Ending the song on such a gay note is never a bad thing of course, but it is a little anticlimactic for this analysis. Though, the line of reaching your hands out might actually refer to their hand movements in the video, symbolizing to keep being weird and authentic as long as you can, but that may be a bit of a stretch (or a reach, if you will)

Final thoughts: I have seen other analyses (though not as in-depth) about the meaning of the song, and while they definitely do have some meaning and I can see it from that point of view, there are just some obviously autistic cues that I couldn't ignore that just swayed my perception of the song entirely that direction. I'm not sure if I only picked up that meaning because of my own experiences biasing my view, or if I actually am onto something with the original intention of the song. If you guys have any insight to offer on any of the lyrics, or if I missed or misinterpreted something, feel free to let me know! Thanks for reading this far, honestly! 🌸

#vocaloid #vocaloid meta #meta #jitterbug vocaloid #vocaloid analysis #jitterbug analysis #actuallyautistic #hopefully the readmore works #suicide ment #mikumei #edit: the readmore does not indeed fucking work and i cant edit it on desktop so im sorry #long post

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deafchild2000 · 5 years

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AU H2O Friendship: Charlotte and Bella

(I don't want any crap about this alone. Free Speech can be practiced but no hate!)

If I had to think of a friendship from H2O that I'd like to have seen, it would be between Charlotte Watsford and Bella Hartley.

(Yes, I am aware that for this to happen, Charlotte had to have stuck around and still be a mermaid for Bella to approach her, but this is an AU of itself!)

So why? Excellent question because at first, one would think they would be as opposite as Rikki and Emma were. But at second glance, if you dig deeper (and deploy better writing and character development), their friendship makes a lot of sense.

For starters, the two would have been their own separate group from the girls, power-wise:

Charlotte has the main 3: Freezing, Boiling and Manipulating/Creating water from an already existing source. Or in layman's terms, Charlotte can manipulate water in its 3 states of matter -Heat being Gas and Solid being Ice.

Bella's powers aren't in a matter of states, but thickness. Realistically, Bella has Viscosity Manipulation:

"The resistance of fluids to a change shape, influencing spraying, injection molding, and surface coating. In everyday terms (and for fluids only), viscosity is "thickness" or "internal friction", thus, water is "thin", having a lower viscosity, while honey is "thick", having a higher viscosity. Put simply, the less viscous the fluid is, the greater its ease of movement (fluidity). The user could make water thicker, making it harder for sea-life to survive or have honey pour out like water by making it thinner. " (from Superpower Wiki)

Therefore, Bella's powers allow her to make any liquid thick in anyway - thick enough to an ooz-like substance, hard enough to walk on, or causing it to explode (or attack).

So, in the best phrasing, both girls have their own sets of powers. And surprisingly, could use them in combinations if they wanted to: constructing paths while avoiding getting wet, creating attacks, creating items from molding and hardening, diversions and escapes to avoid exposure.... Basically, more than we ever saw on the show. And because their powers are so alike and different, it would avoid jealousy between them (especially on Charlotte's part, since she wouldn't feel like she had to compete).

Next, the friendship itself. What would it be like? Bella is mostly seen and notedly described as Bubbly, Caring and Attractive, but with her Status, she's doesn't let anyone get to close to her. In canon, it was Cleo and Rikki's - reckless - use of their powers that caught her attention, leading one to think she thought she was alone. Charlotte is Honest, Humorous (in her own way), and Strong-Willed. However, she is prone to Jealousy and Insensitivity, especially when feeling threatened or stressed.

As canon, we obviously saw Charlotte's worst traits at best and her best traits at worst (bad writing!) and Bella doesn't really stand up much for herself nor let it be known (debatable passive). So as friends, here's how I'd imagine it going down: (For Charlotte) Bella would be able to reach out to Charlotte in her worst moods and calm her down, encourages her to look closely at her actions and the consequences, inspire her immerse herself in her art, implore her to take in to regard of other people's feelings and accept that things won't always go her way/(For Bella) Charlotte would teach her to not be such a Pushover, to raise her voice, to take risks with relationships but call out when said relationships don't seem fair, provide honest opinions where others would rather flatter her, and tell her it's okay to be a little selfish in her life. But the main they both have in common (beside being the "4th" mermaid) is that, regardless of how it came to be, both girls know what it's like to be the outsider and will go out of their way to reassure each other that they're not alone anymore.

Lastly, they would become best friends because, unlike their Mako Mermaid counterparts, the Main Mermaid Trio would never have let them in.

(Y'all gonna think I'm bashing, but on this blog, I'll never be anything BUT honest regarding this!)

Take away the love triangles, legacies, durations and all that, let's tell the truth: Charlotte would have never been welcomed into the group. Not only were they waaayyy too closed off with anybody else aside their group (include boyfriends and exclude families), they had these two rigid yet nostalgic old people where were stuck in the glory days, back when they were young and happier, but disregarded why their group basically broke up (I mean, c'mon! They never even had families! They were still old geezers in the end!). "Only 3 Mermaids" statement only ended up being proven true because the girls (together and on their own) couldn't see past the idea that it didn't need to be "just three", choosing to follow the Past Gen's terrible examples . Max himself was in the wrong too for low-key encouraging Lewis that Cleo would always be the one for him - Basically my logic: If they are meant to last, let it happen on its own. Don't interfere! - and for leading Charlotte to gain and lose her tail, only indulging her because she was Gracie's granddaughter and inadvertly helping her loss only when her bad side became more apparent. Yes, she may be a lot like Gracie , but she has her flaws too. Basically, Season 2 was a mess of misinterpretations, past nalstogia, constant hypocrisy! Charlotte may have been in the wrong, but everyone else constituted to her downfall. Plus, Charlotte was realistic and straightforward on how she felt, having no problem of acting on it (like a certain fiery mermaid y'all like to praise....). Cleo, Rikki (and later Emma) were long ready to dismiss her before they even gave her approval or a chance. A chance they'd never give her, even as a legacy.

(If you by a feel I'm using the same arguments, sorry. As said before, I can't even talk about the second season without ranting!)

Moving forward, lets talk about Bella. For thise who believe they would have let Bella in, even if Emma hadn't left, bless your optimistic hearts. I might have said the same thing, but if the experience with Charlotte was still fresh in the mind, powers and lovers aside, the Ireland-made mermaid was better off if she kept walking when she first appeared. Let's play on the Comet still heading to earth: From 3x01, Bella would try to acknowledge the girls after the guy harassed her, they'd dismiss her. She'd try again at the bar named after Rikki, where they'd do it again until the Water Tentacle takes said mermaid away. Bella still stays to introduce herself, they'd thank her but dismiss her. 3 times would be enough for Bella to believe they'd want to be left alone. Why? Because the girls choose to only stick in 3s and Charlotte is still a fresh wound for them. Lewis might try to get them to befriend her, but they never listen to him anyways unless needed. Bella keeps her distance, the girls are stuck realizing a comet would destroy the world (and regarding the crystals, never wear them.) When comes time, either Emma or Cleo might realize Bella could help, but dismiss it as they'd thing 3 of them are enough to stop it. But Emma's powers can't hold hold the Tower of Light and the world does end. Why? Because they chose to be stuck in their ways and ignore the signs that Bella was meant to be with them for a reason. Yeah, this is all speculation on MY own take of how it would have went, that's beside the point. While it's nice to think Bella would have got a chance, in actuality, the only reason her spot was made was to secure the "Only 3" rule in Emma absence and you can't really deny it. Season 3 was an AU of its own where Bella's introduction all depended on timing and inconvenience on the Rikki and Cleo's part.

That being said, between the two mermaids, the H2O Trio would have never batted an eye at them, not unless they had too. And because of this, Charlotte and Bella would feel it was better to form their own group since they literally would have no one else to accept them.

All together, friendship between Charlotte Watsford and Bella Hartley is one friendship that I would have love to have seen and recognize as it's a friendship formed from loneliness and differences that set them apart from everyone else yet their do very personalities compliment each other and would bring out the best in them. Between their very different sets of powers, traits, interaction with the girls, they just might actually be what the other needed.

#h2o just add water #mermaids #charlotte watsford #bella hartley #friendship #what if #h2o headcanons

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