#but the one thing he absolutely couldn’t forgive himself for was how he treated jack

[soullessjack]

being a jackgirl is terrible enough but being a jackgirl who understands dean is a burden I would wish on everyone so we’d stop having the same seven-year-old discourse about whether or not dean is really jack’s dad

[nikethestatue]

A Match Baked In Heaven

Chapter IX

Too Afraid to Love You

Piglet has never been handled so roughly or with so much indignity. But despite his protests and super threatening growls, which could scare anyone, Elain didn’t even care. She jammed him into a doggy carrier, or what could be called a backpack with holes, and then threw on her jacket, while sliding into her trainers. She swung the carrier over her shoulder and then tugged the loops over her arms. Piglet was shoved face first into the mop of her hair, and he was of mind to maybe bite her, but he didn’t. But he was so mad, he couldn’t even look at her, so he just sat in his backpack with holes, and bounced about, while she ran down the street. He still considered biting her on the ear perhaps, but he couldn’t reach it. So his plan went to naught. But he was very angry with her, especially because she was running! Running. She didn’t run. But here she was, her feet slapping on the pavement loudly, while she jerked and jostled him in this abominable contraption. It’s like she didn’t even care! She didn’t care about his comfort and well-being. Not ever since dad came into her life. Not that he didn’t love dad–dad was the best, but still. Piglet was still important, and he felt that he did many incredible things for Elain, and she needed to think about them.

Piglet considered everything that Elain should’ve acknowledged and be grateful for. Did he not bring her fun things from the street? Shiny wrappers, dead squirrels, empty packets of things unknown? Didn’t that count for something? And how he sometimes woke her up at 7:09 am, even though his breakfast was at 7:02 am! He cared. He cared so much, he let her sleep an extra seven minutes! All all those late night walks, where he definitely, absolutely sensed serial killers in the bushes, and he was ready to protect her. Where was his ‘thank you’? All those go-potty-serial-killer-men-in-the-bushes that he was so vigilant about and ready to deliver a deadly strike at. And, he also always met and gave his seal of approval to all the random people that came to the office. He met them and he introduced himself, and he was polite, but he was also very vigilant, as usual. He didn’t even like anyone, except for two people, and one of them was dad anyway. And the other one was the big bloke that came with dad. The big bloke was alright too–he wanted paw and Piglet shook with him.

Oh…

Well then. At least Elain brought him to the butchers’. He loved this place. And they always gave him treats too. So, maybe he’d find it in himself to forgive her.

“Miss Elain, ‘morning!”

“Morning, Jack. How are you?”

“Working hard. How’s the matchmaking business?”

“Booming.”

“That right? Well, not surprising. Those Gen Xers don’t know how to talk to other humans, so they need all the help that they can get.”

Elain laughed, “You aren’t wrong.”

“How can I help? What would you like?”

“Chicken, please.”

Elain Archeron was a proper lady. She was of good stock, a fine beauty, polite and she knew her meat. She was one to keep traditions, and she patronised private businesses in the neighbourhood. People around here liked her. She was an integral part of the community. 

“Piglet, how are you in that rucksack?” the butcher chuckled, as he weighed the chicken pieces.

“He is not very happy, but I am in a hurry,” Elain admitted.

“A romantic date for you then?” Jack joked, as he wrapped the chicken in paper, and then filled a bag with chicken feet and necks–Piglet’s favourites.

To his surprise, the pretty matchmaker got all red in the face and quickly waved her card over the reader, as she grabbed her packages.

“Something like that,” she muttered.

“Ahh well then. Good luck with that. Hope the fella treats you well, Miss.”

“He does,” she confirmed.

“Bye Piglet,” Jack called out. “Take care of Miss Elain and keep her safe.”

I always do Piglet snorted indignantly.

-

Piglet alerted Elain that Azriel was coming. Nowadays, she had no doubts about what was to happen–if her dog began going crazy by the door, she knew that Azriel was nearby.

And Elain was…excited.

It’s only been 3 days, barely, since he came to cook for her and her sisters, and she was excited to see Azriel. She was also very concerned about his injury and his general well-being, and needed to see him with her eyes and ensure that he was actually okay.

She’s been pacing for an hour, aimlessly cleaning all the counters, and while Piglet was able to go downstairs and hang out in the library room, and by ‘hang out’ she meant sleep, snoring loudly, she couldn’t do the same. She was thinking, her head aching from all the intrusive thoughts, which were mostly about Azriel Night. And she wished she didn’t have to think quite so much, but all she could imagine and think of was him here, in this space, with her, where he seemed to belong. And she didn’t know what to make of it. She didn’t know why he consumed her and why she wanted to care for him, and why she worried about him, and why she wanted to cry when he held Piglet, and why she was proud of how he treated her sisters and how kind he’s been to all of them.

Therefore, when the knock came, she was already waiting. And she didn’t even care if she seemed overly eager and borderline desperate. She needed to see him. She almost ripped the door off the hinges, since she pulled it so hard.

Azriel was pale, dressed in a black windbreaker, black Adidas trainers and black joggers. He was a far cry from the usual confident and cocky Azriel, the football superstar. He was wearing a hood, but his black hair stuck to his forehead, and his shoulders seemed to stoop. 

“Hey gorgeous girl,” he smiled at her, his eyes widening a bit when he beheld her. “May I come in?”

Elain shook her head and then took him by the hand and drew him inside, while muttering, “it’s like inviting a vampire into your house…”

Azriel smiled and then threaded his fingers with hers, while picking up Piglet with his other hand. The pug was quiet, but happy. He put his big round head on Azriel’s shoulder and sighed contently, while murmuring and singing something under his breath. 

“Cassian said that he cried,” Azriel said softly, watching Elain, who looked…scrumptious. She was wearing a loose knit jumper, little knit shorts, and knit knee highs, which ended just above her knee. He was trying to avert his eyes, but who was he kidding? Those soft, pale thighs were the death of him. He was obsessed with her figure on any day, but this…well, this was a very special and a very delightful present for him. 

“You spoke with Cassian?” Elain asked quickly, as she blushed and lowered her eyes. Azriel gently pulled her to him and she was forced to stand in front of him, as he towered over her, while she stubbornly looked down at the floor.

“I have. He rung and told me that you were ‘spewing fire and brimstone’–his words–and told me that Pink cried because he was so upset when I took a tumble,”

“TOOK A TUMBLE!!??” Elain cried out, “are you kidding me?! You were pushed and I thought your leg was broken! That’s how it looked on the telly,”

“And then you rang me like eleven times and messaged me another six?” he smirked like an asshole, and Elain made to pull her hand away, huffing with anger and embarrassment. 

“Leave me alone,” she hissed. “Why are you even here?”

He shrugged indifferently,

“Suppose I wanted to be with my favourite person. And my favourite dog.”

“As if I am your favourite person…” Elain even rolled her eyes, but the flush of her skin told Azriel everything he needed to know. She liked it. She liked the compliment. No matter what she said and how far she rolled her eyes, she liked being his favourite person.

“You are. And besides, you want me here,” he told her, and his fingers squeezing hers tighter.

“The cheek of you is unbelievable,” she complained, annoyed and looking absolutely adorable. All her huffing and indignation were offset by her sublimely sexy outfit and the endless blushes on her cheeks. “I don’t want you here,”

“I wasn’t the one who was blowing up the phone,” he commented innocently, burying his nose in Piglet’s neck.

“I was simply inquiring after your well-being!” she yelled. “It was nothing more! I was being polite. I think it’s quite normal for a person to reach out and inquire after someone’s health, when they are injured or ill!”

“And I appreciate that more than you can imagine,” Azriel said gently, and then lifted her hand to his face, to his mouth. “And Cassian demanded to know why I haven’t put a ring on this pretty finger yet?” With that, he pressed his lips to her ring finger, and she gulped loudly, unable to respond. What the hell was happening? Why would Cassian ask something so absurd? Both of these brothers were completely bonkers.

Azriel continued, unperturbed, “and you know what I told him? Not yet, but I will.”

Elain’s saucer-like eyes flickered with its warm brown light. She seemed both shocked, and mollified by his words. But… 

The sheer dominance of him. The presumption. The proprietary ownership.

He displayed no hesitation. And his confidence wasn’t arrogant, but just annoyingly self-assured. As if he decided that this was going to be the way, and he was going to make it so. Like she was his. 

“Mr. Night!” Elain growled at him. “Every single time. Every. Single. Time. We’ve been together you told me that you will marry me,”

“Which I will,” he concurred confidently.

“No you will not! This is abnormal behaviour. You cannot tell me things like these!”

“Well, that’s where you are mistaken, gorgeous girl. See, if a man tells a woman that he will marry her–at any point in their association–that just means that he will. He set his eyes on her. He is now a hunter. And he will hunt her until she is his. Until she bears his young,”

“Ew. What?!” Elain winced, grossed out.

He laughed.

“It is what it is, Ms. Archeron.”

“I am not marrying you,” she declared.

He only shrugged.

“We’ll see.”

“Nothing to see. I am not your type,” she reminded him.

“You grew on me,” he parried. 

“Like a rash?”

“Like a wart.”

“Wonderful. You can go now,” she jerked her shoulder towards the door, by which they were still loitering. 

“Mmm, no, I don’t think I will,” he decided, and began to remove his jacket, though it was a tricky thing to do, since Piglet just snuggled closely to him and wouldn’t budge.

Elain gave an exaggerated sigh and tugged on Azriel’s sleeve, to help him take off his jacket. 

“Did my boy really cry?” Azriel asked again, stroking Piglet’s back.

“He did,” she nodded. “He didn’t like seeing you hurt.”

Azriel’s sharp, usually severe, if beautiful face, suddenly melted into a loving smile and he hugged the pug closer to his chest. 

“Why is he not looking at me? Is he sad and angry?” he worried.

Elain lightly patted Piglet’s head and said, “No. He is super happy. That’s how he gets when he is very happy. Quiet and still.

“If he was mad, you’d know it,”

“Oh yeah?” Azriel grinned, “What would he do?”

“He’d give you the biggest side eye in history and would not interact, and wouldn’t look at you.” She chuckled to herself and then recalled, “Once, he had an…” she cleared her throat and half whispered, “anal abscess.”

“What. The. Fuck?” Azriel’s mouth fell open.

“Hmmm, yeah,” Elain opened her hands helplessly. “I took him to the vet, and…well…they probed. And they had to go in kinda deep. He was not a fan.”

“I am absolutely not surprised that he wasn’t a fan!” Azriel agreed, trying to stifle his laughter, while stroking Piglet’s back soothingly.

“So they gave him some antibiotics and an ointment and then when I took him home–and mind you, he refused to walk, so I had to carry him for like four miles–he wouldn’t look at me the entire time. When we came home, he went to his bed and wouldn’t move or pay me any heed. As if I was the one who fingered him in the butt.”

“Let me stop you right here, matchmaker,” Azriel raised his hand.

Elain stopped abruptly and looked at him with expectation.

“Nowhere in my life, not since I’ve met you, did I ever expect to hear the words ‘fingered him in the butt’ or ‘anal abscess’ come out of your mouth! This is some kind of parallel universe I am in right now.”

She laughed at that. Then asked, 

“Still want to have a dog? Because I had to put the ointment on him. In there.”

Azriel sighed, considering her words, and then nodded decisively.

“Still want him. And you. And I can finger both of your butts, if that’s what it comes to,” he promised.

The expression on Elain’s face told him enough, so that he quickly wrapped his arm around her waist and murmured, “Don’t faint, matchy. It’s okay. I am not offering to do it right this minute. Unless…”

“I will break your other leg!!!” Elain screeched, burying her face in her hands.

He burst out laughing, and then reminded her, “Hey, that’s not fair. I am injured!”

“I will injure you further if you won’t close your awful mouth right this minute!!!”

Azriel was laughing, until he started coughing, whole body wracked by his loud heaving.

Elain sighed dramatically, and said, “come on then, let’s go”. She tugged him into the informal family room, which lay across from the kitchen. It was a nice space–reeking of Elain-like cosiness. A comfortable sectional sofa, without frills, but obviously expensive, and as Azriel sunk into it, exceptionally well-cushioned. He almost crawled into the couchette side of the sofa and lay his head back, exhaling heavily. This was nice. Across from the sofa was a fireplace, with actual logs and an actual fire. The smell was delightful and the warmth substantial. There was a TV, which was turned to some cookery show. A corner was dedicated to built-in bookshelves, and there was a plush armchair there–he figured probably Elain’s favourite corner. 

He kept coughing, feeling sweaty, and then suddenly chilled, even next to a roaring fire. Elain was mutely shaking her head, while Pinky licked his neck affably, comforting him. 

“Thanks matey,” Azriel whispered, huffing like an asthmatic. 

“You are completely totally ill!” Elain was muttering angrily under her breath, as she opened a chest and pulled out a throw. She came over and then pressed her palm to his forehead. Azriel smiled. It was such a tried and true ‘mom move’ and not for the first time he thought of what a wonderful mother she’d make to their children. Not for the first time he imagined her gorgeous curvaceous body carrying life, carrying his seed, morphing into something supple and even more beautiful. 

“You are hot!” she declared.

He smirked and winked at her, “I know, baby.”

“No, I mean, you are hot hot,” she tried and he only nodded.

“You don’t need to pay me compliments, but if you insist…”

“Oh lord!” she exclaimed. “You are incorrigible. I am not paying you compliments. You are hot. Your body is hot.”

He only grinned at her, and lightly drew his knuckles over her cheek. 

“Don’t worry. You are hot too,” he comforted her. “But you are right–my body is hot. If you’d like to see more of it, with a lot less clothes, you only have to say the words…”

“Mr. Night,” she growled at him, crossing her arms on her chest. “You are not attempting to harass me while you are burning up with a fever, are you?”

“Harass? No. I would call it ‘wooing’,” he told her, his insufferable smile still curving his lips. “But I am also attempting to stop you from constantly calling me Mr. Night. Can we move to Azriel?”

“Absolutely not!” she tucked the throw around him somewhat aggressively. “Also if this is your wooing, then it needs a lot of work!”

“Never had any complaints,” he shrugged. 

“I guess the standards in an orgy are pretty low,” she snapped, and Azriel couldn’t help himself and laughed out loud. This girl’s tongue was sharper than a blade. She never failed to answer him and he loved it!

He rubbed his chin and explained,

“Just because I am a gentleman, doesn’t mean that I can’t fuck you like a savage. I am just balanced like that.”

As usual, Elain’s eyes popped open, because the girl squirmed and clutched her pearls at any sexual innuendo. Azriel liked unsettling her, but he also treaded carefully, and didn’t push too far or too hard. 

“Are you comfortable?” she asked then, her expression softening just a fraction. Piglet crawled onto Azriel’s torso and made himself comfortable on his chest, tucking his blunt round head under Azriel’s chin. It was a good thing too, because the dog was nice and warm, and a bit heavy. Like a weighted blanket.

“Very,” Azriel assured her, and then brought her hand to his lips and kissed it. She looked down at him and then lightly drew her finger over a lock of his hair. “Thank you. Thank you for everything, Ms. Archeron.”

“You are welcome, Mr. Night. But you should’ve stayed home, in bed, and not exposed yourself to the elements to get here.”

He was quiet for a long time and then quietly, his voice barely audible, said, “What if this is the only home I want to be at?”

Elain sighed and offered him a small smile.

“I will make you a cuppa and,”

“With lemon and sugar,” he added quickly.

“Obviously. And then you can sleep a little.”

“You sure?”

“Well, I am not going to throw you out on the street if that’s what you are asking.”

He patted Piglet’s back and said, “Pink stays here. And I won’t anally violate him,” he gave her a meaningful look, “unlike some people.” 

“Oh god, I shouldn’t have told you about that,” Elain lamented and he chuckled, nodding. “Probably not,” he agreed. Then, offering his best puppy eyes he inquired, “no chance of a little kiss?”

“That would be a definitive NO,” she threw sternly. “Besides, you want to give me your illness?”

“Couples who ill together stay together,” he tried.

“We are not a couple, and you are clearly delirious from your cold. Also, people don’t ‘ill’ together!”

Naturally, the moment Piglet senses that Elain was going to the kitchen, he jumped off Azriel and forgot about him, excited at the prospect of a treat. 

Azriel sank deeper into the sofa, missing Pinky’s warmth, but Elain’s thoughtful throw kept him from shivering. God, he felt like shite. It’s been a while since he felt this bad, but this was the first time in his life when he didn’t actually mind it. Of course the chills and the chest congestion weren’t his favourite, but he was with his Elain and she was taking care of him, and that was enough.

Piglet was begging loudly, ‘wfff wwww waf fawww’ his voice high pitched and sounding kind of…human. Azriel had read somewhere that a smart dog is mentally equivalent to a two year old child, and now he was seeing that to be true. Being with Pinky was like having a somewhat hyper, perpetually hungry, narcoleptic toddler, who fell asleep in random places with no warning, wanted to play all the time, gave no opportunity for privacy and wanted to be the centre of attention at all times. He also refused to walk whenever he wanted, and sure enough, someone would readily carry him. 

“Hold on,” Elain cautioned him, “let me make Az some tea.”

Az.

Az!

Az?

AZzzzz!!!

Azriel perked up on the sofa, listening closely. She actually called him–Az??? That’s what she called him in her head? She thought of him as ‘Az’? Not a lot of people called him that–Cassian, some of his veteran teammates, his cousin Rhys, but that’s about it. And now his girl used his private nickname, which just threw him into a tailspin inside his head.

Wahhwaaa-bark-wahawwf

Pinky responded impatiently.

“Okay, I’ll get you some treats,” Elain decided, her voice quiet, making sure she didn’t disturb Azriel, “but why don’t you run upstairs and bring your baby, so you can share with Az.”

Pinky snorted and Azriel watched him from his spot, as the pug took off down the hallway and then there was some grunting and plops leading up the stairs. Elain meanwhile brought him a cup of tea, with a small plate of lemon and ginger cakes, and a couple of pills.

“Here,” she muttered awkwardly. “It’s very hot.”

Azriel accepted the cup, and smiled at her, “thank you, matchy.”

“Do you ever run out of nicknames?” she wondered, as she sat on the edge of the sofa.

“Usually, yes. For you, no,” he told her, as he sipped his tea. It was perfect–tart from the lemon and sweet from the sugar. 

“How’s your leg?” she asked, seeing as he winced when he shifted.

“Ehhh, a little fucked up, but I’ll live. They put a brace on it. That’s why I couldn’t respond to you–I was getting an MRI, and all kinds of X-rays and all that boring shite. Don’t think that I was ignoring you, beautiful.”

“Are you in pain?”

“Are you gonna kiss it all better?” he smirked at her, as he took another sip of his tea. 

“Unlikely,” Elain rolled her eyes.

“If your leg was hurt, I’d kiss it better,” he immediately told her with a hurt expression.

“Yeah, I feel like you’d want to kiss more than just my leg,” she scoffed and Azriel shrugged innocently.

“Do you blame me?”

“Take the pills,” she ordered in her no nonsense tone.

“Yes, ma’am,” he obliged. “What are these? Are you gonna roofie me so you can have your way with me?”

“Gah. Why? Seems like you are willing and ready to have your way with me without the roofies!”

“True, true, but,”

At that moment, Piglet trotted back from his lair, his plushy baby in his teeth. 

“Did you bring it for daddy?” Elain gushed, realising a second too late what she said and what Azriel heard. 

Her face was a mask of horror.

Panicking, she began to mumble, “no, no, I mean…for Az…You brough Puglet for Az, right? For Mr. Night.”

Azriel was chewing the inside of his cheek, trying not to laugh out loud. 

Quickly, she turned to him and said, “Mr. Night, this is not what I meant!”

“What did you not mean, Ms. Archeron?”

“I did not mean to call you that.”

“You don’t want me to be your daddy?” he finally let go and burst out laughing. Piglet looked between the two of them with his dark buggy eyes and gave an equivalent of a shrug, as he tossed his baby at Azriel.

“Is that for me?” Azriel took the toy and said, “thank you, baby boy.”

Elain jumped up, clearly grateful for the distraction, and beckoned Piglet after her. “Come on, treat time!” she cried overly-enthusiastically.

“This conversation isn’t over, matchy! I know you’re trying to weasel out of it, but come on ‘daddy’?”

“It was a mistake!!” she called out over her shoulder, while Piglet wiggled his arse, following her back to the kitchen.

“I don’t think so,” Azriel sang back, as he bit into the delicate little cake. This girl sure knew how to bake!

“Can I at least be a baby daddy?!” he requested.

“Ohmygod!” she moaned.

“I’ll make us a couple. Well, four. I’ll make us four.”

“Noooo!”

Waaaff waaaww wah hawww Piglet let himself be known, screeching loudly.

“Okay, you can have a whole banana or a piece of cheese,” Elain offered.

That did not go over well. There was dangerous growling, and demanding yips and pathetic howls. Piglet did not like making choices. He clearly wanted both.

“Ow, stop it…no, you can’t have both,” Elain scolded him, as Azriel listened and laughed. This was everything. This was his life. His best life. He was obsessed.

“The doctor said that you need to be on a diet,” Elain reminded her rowdy dog, who did not care at all. “And look, the banana is bigger, and you can have more of it. And it’s tasty too,” she was convincing him. Whether she was successful, Azriel wasn’t sure.

A couple of minutes later, Piglet arrived back to Azriel’s sofa, holding a banana in his teeth. He wasn’t looking particularly happy, but Azriel picked him up and sat him at his side, breaking small pieces of banana and feeding it to him.

“That’s right, my boy. Daddy, DA-DD-Y,” he yelled obnoxiously, “will feed you. Maybe will sneak some cheese in when ma isn’t looking,”

“Don’t you dare!” Elain warned, “he is supposed to be on a diet. You’ll lose pug privileges.”

“No way!”

…Elain’s voice woke Azriel up from his slumber. Whatever she gave him had knocked him out pretty well. He slept like the dead and even now, he was still out of it. The dog was snoring next to him and Elain was pacing in the kitchen, doing something. But it was her voice that woke him up. She was talking on the phone. He didn't want to eavesdrop but he couldn’t help overhearing what she was saying, especially because her tone was urgent and unhappy.

“Are you serious?” she demanded of whoever was on the other line. “Isn’t that excessive?”

-

“...Okay, I understand, but five months?”

-

Azriel moved quietly on the sofa, tugging the throw to his chin, feeling like he would never be able to move from here ever again, yet the fact that his girl was clearly displeased with some motherfucker made him want to fight.

Whoever she was talking to went on some long rant, while she listened patiently.

“Okay, I get it,” she said at last, her tone clipped, “but really? My birthday? Christmas?”

More talking.

“Eris–I am sorry to tell you, but this is what people do for each other!! Even when it’s inconvenient! Did I love flying to Beijing for 11 hours? Just so I can spend a week in the hotel room, when you didn’t make any time to be with me? To even show me around the city,”

-

“I don’t care that you had meetings! I flew there, to be with you. I left Piglet and my clients, just to see you, and,”

-

“Yes! He does matter to me. He is my dog, and I,”

-

“Don’t be ridiculous, I don’t love him more than you! But I am beginning to wonder if you love your high-flying job more than me?!”

-

“That’s a lot of words, but I don’t see any action,” she snapped. “I am not asking you to do anything unreasonable! You can come here, spend my birthday with me, then it’s going to be Christmas–”

-

“Okay, so what if it’s Feyre’s birthday too? It’s not going to interfere with any of our plans. Also, she is my sister. She is turning 25. I think I am allowed to be with my sisters on that day. Though no one said that you weren’t invited,”

-

“Well, I am sorry you don’t feel comfortable in the bohemian crowd! You don’t have to come, if it’s such a burden to you, but you can’t expect me to miss her birthday. Besides, we will be going out to a restaurant…”

-

“Moroccan”

-

“I am sure you can find something to eat there! It’s basic food–meat and rice pilaf and salads!”

-

“No, not Ethiopian–it’s Moroccan. No, it’s not going to give you diarrhoea!!!”

Azriel stifled a laugh at that. Poor Elain. Also, this Eris bloke didn’t know the difference between Ethiopia and Morocco.

“Fine. You don’t like kabobs. Whatever.”

Who the fuck didn’t like kabobs? They were delicious! Azriel thought. 

After a long pause, where he assumed Elain was listening to the man, she said with a sigh,

“So you are certain? You won’t be coming for Christmas?”

-

“Okay. I can’t make you. But I will also tell you this–I won’t be Penelope,”

Who the heck was Penelope? 

“Look it up!” Elain snarled.

Apparently Eris also didn’t know who Penelope was.

Azriel discreetly reached into his pocket and took out his phone, before Googling ‘Penelope’. No, not Cruz. 

“Penelope, wife of Odysseus, Queen of Ithaca… She waited twenty years for Odysseus' return…”

Oh. Well, then. 

Meanwhile, Elain said icily, 

“No, I don’t think that I am being unreasonable. If I want my so-called boyfriend to come home to England for my birthday, and for Christmas and New Year’s, instead of staying in freakin’ China, then no, it doesn’t make me unreasonable. It’s entirely up to you what you do, I’ve said my piece.”

-

“Forgive me, Eris, if I find it hard to believe that you’ve been faithful to me for five months…and the four months before…”

-

“Whatever you say. Goodbye. Sure. We’ll talk later…Sure. When I cool off.”

Azriel wanted to say something. He wanted to comfort her, but he didn’t feel right infringing on her private life. He assumed that Eris was the ginger bloke. Stupid, for leaving his woman like that. Unattended and unsatisfied. Azriel wouldn’t make the same mistake. 

He’d never leave Elain.

The next time Azriel woke up was when it was dusk. The world outside was coloured in greys and blues and purples. It was pretty–the foggy, ethereal beauty of London in the waning light of day. 

His ridiculous dog was still snoring, unbothered. This time though, he was on his back though, his three paws high up in the air. Azriel wished he could snap a pic, but…his arms were occupied. His whole body was occupied. In the best possible way. His woman was sleeping on top of him. 

He looked down. She was half-sprawled on top of his body, her leg tucked between his own, her cheek resting on his chest. Goodness…A beautiful woman. Not an attractive sleeper. Azriel smiled softly. Beautiful to him. Always. But, her hair was in disarray, her mouth open, and she was drooling on his shirt. What a far cry from Miss Priss in her pearl necklace. She was hugging him more sexually than he expected, and half of her ass was hanging out from her shorts. A big hunk of gorgeous fleshy butt.

Now, if Azriel was a proper bloke, with manners and a good head on his shoulders, he would've considered feelings, consent, appropriateness, and many other trendy things that were so en vogue these days. But he was lad from the council estate and didn’t rub shoulders with Lord Darling nearly long enough to have become a genteel gentleman. Therefore, he saw an ass, and he took it. In his defence, this was the best, most luxurious, prettiest, juiciest ass in existence. The best ass. His favourite ass. And his scarred, mangled hand couldn’t help itself and slipped down her back and cupped the bare perfection of her lush ass cheek. He didn’t squeeze, not wanting to wake her up, but he caressed her gently, while luxuriating in their closeness. She came to him. Following her obviously unpleasant conversation with that Eris bloke, Elain sought comfort with Azriel. She could’ve gone upstairs, could’ve done something private and personal, and licked her wounds on her own. But she came to him. She trusted him enough to splay herself atop of his body and now peacefully drool on his chest.  

He couldn’t believe his luck.

Truly.

His girl finally thawed her icy little heart. Or maybe, her heart was always warm and loving, and beating like a fluttering bird, hoping that it wouldn’t be broken. He wouldn’t. He’d protect it with everything he got. 

Elain shifted and he stilled, wondering if she was waking up and whether he was now obligated to remove his hand from the warm globe of her ass. He didn’t really want to. He found himself a girl who blushed like a virgin and hid her face in her hands when he said filthy things. Yet, he wondered if this same girl would suck his cock like his cum was oxygen and she needed it to survive. 

He hoped so.

“Did you dedicate the goal to me?” Elain asked suddenly, but softly, without opening her eyes. 

She startled him, but he answered,

“I did.”

“Was the ‘E’ for me?”

“You are the only ‘E’ in my life,” he clarified.

“Okay. Thank you. It was the most beautiful goal I’ve ever seen.”

“Thank you.”

“Is your hand on my arse?”

“It is.”

“Why?”

“Where else would it be when I have your bare butt showing and you are almost dry humping me?”

“Ohmygod, I am NOT,” she began arguing, but he just squeezed her soft butt cheek, digging his fingers into the delicate flesh.

“Shush, woman. Just stay there for a sec. Enjoy the moment.”

And to his utmost surprise, she obeyed. She didn’t move. She just lay there, and he stroked her head with his other hand.

Awawawawa wufff whaha

“And…he is up,” Azriel muttered, watching Pinky flop over and start talking at once.

“I have to take him out,” Elain said, reaching her hand to stroke the pug’s head.

“I’ll come with you,” Azriel told her.

“Are you sure? How do you feel?”

“Much better, actually, and I’ll have to protect you, you know.”

“I already have one to protect me–he thinks everyone is a serial killer. Serial killer neighbours. Serial killer post men. Serial killer squirrels. The butcher–he isn’t a serial killer. But everyone else–potential killer.”

“I respect his dark worldview. Everyone is a serial killer until they are not. Guilty until proven innocent.”

Elain rose awkwardly, because Azriel refused to remove his hand from her ass. 

“You sure you don’t want to take me for a ride, beautiful?” he suggested.

“You are not at your best,” she raised her brow at him.

“My mediocre is most men’s ‘exceptional’,” he argued humbly.

“Your modesty knows no bounds,” she noted, as she finally got up.

“It smells amazing here, by the way,” Azriel commented, as he sat up on the sofa. He was feeling markedly better. The fever was gone.

“It’s dinner.” 

And before he could say anything, she added, “Yes, yes you’re invited.”

“Well, that’s excellent. Maybe a sponge bath afterwards? In case I am back to having a raging fever?”

Elain scoffed and said, “Not sure how good Piglet is at giving sponge baths, but you two can work it out between the two of you. He likes a good bath.”

“Good idea,” Azriel decided, “I’ll discuss it with him.”

Elain went upstairs to change and it struck him how domestic they were together. He guessed that this was ‘family’. Them taking a nap together, dinner cooking on the stove, his woman upstairs, dressing in his presence, not at all perturbed by him being in the house, Pinky…well, Pinky was now running around and hiding from Elain, who came downstairs wearing jeans and holding some kind of onesie for him.

“Piglet, you need to wear it! It’s very cold outside. You’ll freeze!” she tried to reason with him, while he galloped between the kitchen and the lounge, dodging her and sliding under chairs and tables, until he was crawling along the kitchen counter, thinking that they couldn't see him.

Azriel put his finger to his lips, gesturing for Elain to keep distracting him, while he tiptoed closer.

“Piglet, where are you?” Elain called out, pretending like she couldn’t find him. “Come on! We got to go potty.”

Just then, Azriel made one of his ‘elite athlete’ moves and managed to grab the dog. Piglet wailed in disbelief, having thought that he was so stealthy and amazing with his evasion techniques. 

“Come on, matchy, go for the kill!” he encouraged, while Elain thrust the coat on Piglet, who gave up his struggle pretty quickly, and compliantly got himself bundled up. On top of the coat, he also had to wear a hat with ear cutouts and which was tied under his chin.

“Jesus Christ,” Azriel chuckled. “He is like a smothered baby.” He set the dog down, and went to get his own coat. 

“You feeling broody, beautiful?” 

He held her jacket to her and she snorted, as she threaded her arms into the sleeves.

“And you are volunteering to relieve me of said broodiness, I reckon?”

He shrugged, “I’ve got all the equipment in working order.”

“So you keep telling me,”

“You still haven’t checked,” he noted and zipped her up. 

Then he wrapped a scarf around his neck and said, “Your scarf, baby. Sorry I haven’t given it back to you. I love it, you know,”

“Keep it,” she suggested. “I want you to be warm.”

The moment they exited the townhome, Azriel draped his arm around Elain’s shoulders and pulled her closer. The street was quiet, but Piglet guided them where he wanted to go, and that was towards people, pubs and restaurants. Azriel limped noticeably and Elain worried about him, hoping that he was okay to walk, but thankfully, Piglet wasn’t in the mood to hurry and moved at a leisurely pace himself. He also found a stick, which he immediately brought to Elain, while Azriel murmured, “Yeah. Sticks, man. Bitches love sticks!”

“You are crazy,” Elain laughed.

“I am crazy? I am not the one standing in the middle of the street holding a stick, a limpy boyfriend and a dog in a knit hat.”

“Yeah, the only problem in this scenario seems to be the limpy ‘boyfriend’,” she made quotation marks with her fingers. 

“No, that’s the only thing that makes sense in this equation, beautiful.”

Then Piglet decided that he wanted the stick back, so Elain gave it to him and he trotted along happily holding it in his teeth,

They walked slowly, Elain deep in thought. Azriel didn’t bother her, until he asked,

“Why are you fighting this?”

She glanced up at him and frowned with incomprehension,

“Fighting what exactly?”

“This.” He said firmly. “Us.”

“Us?”

“Yes,” he confirmed, his usually relaxed, playful tone gone. “This, Elain. Yes, Elain. Not Ms. Archeron. Not ‘beautiful’. Not matchmaker. Elain. And I am asking Elain as to why you insist on fighting this?”

“I am not,” she began.

“Every step of the way, you are. You ought to understand that this is it?!”

“What is?” she asked softly, her eyes luminous and full of questions.

“Us, Elain. You can’t be that thick not to understand that this,” and he waved his hand between the two of them, “is something special. This thing that we have going on, despite all the laughs and teasing, it’s something…” he paused. “I ain’t gonna scare you, Elain,” he promised, “but I ain’t gonna leave you alone either. That’s a vow,”

“And if I wanted you to?”

“That’s the thing. You don’t want me to. You want me, just like I want you. And I don’t know why you can’t just admit it?”

She sighed and said quietly,

“Men have hurt me. I’ve not been with many. I’ve had three boyfriends–one in school, the next one, Graysen, was in uni. And I loved him. Really, really loved him, and we got engaged, and then he cheated on me with my neighbour, Clare. And many others, as I found out later. I broke the engagement. It was all hush-hush, to avoid scandal because both of our families are prominent and scandal is a no-no.”

“And now it’s this bloke Eris?”

“How do you know?!”

“I know. What’s he?”

“Lord Eris, Earl Vanserra.”

Azriel rolled his eyes, shaking his head, his jowls ticking.

“Of course. Earl…Is this what it’s about? I am too low born? I know…I know you fucking have a title. What is it?”

“I am just a Lady,” she mumbled.

“You ain’t just a Lady. What are you?” he demanded. “A Duchess?”

“Nesta is the Duchess,” Elain said softly. “She is the eldest daughter, the title is hers. I am a…Marchioness.”

“So that’s it? Is this a class thing? Is that why you won’t give me a chance?” 

“Don’t be ridiculous!”

“Am I?” he snapped. 

“You are. It has nothing to do with any titles!”

“Then what? Explain it to me.”

She sighed and twisted her fingers,

“I feel like I haven’t done my job. I haven’t found you anyone. And I…”

“That’s what it’s about?!” he exclaimed incredulously.

“I don’t know…Yes. But also other things. Eris,”

“Eris is a fuck up who doesn’t care about you,” Azriel snapped roughly. 

“Perhaps,” she sighed sadly. “I am beginning to see it now,”

“What else? You better tell me everything, because like I said, I am not leaving. I am not walking away from this.”

“Can you give me something?” she requested.

“Anything. What do you want?”

“A little time. To understand everything myself. I’ve never felt like this…I’ve never been swept away by a man. I find you…exciting. Interesting. You are so different from everyone I’ve ever met. You are raw and honest. There is a decency about you that’s so uncommon nowadays. You are brutal and chivalrous at once. I feel like you can beat someone to death, yet you hold the doors and you help me with my coat,”

“I can beat someone to death,” he assured her.

“I know. I can sense it. There is a wild, untamed beast prowling under your skin. I love it. I love how you make me feel–how I am free with you, and you just accept me. You accept me and Piglet, and I know that some view me as odd, because I am devoted to him. I am the weird lady with the pug and the pearls,”

Azriel smiled.

“That you are, beautiful. But that’s what I love about you. You are unapologetically yourself, and you love your ornery pug and you know who you are. I’ve also never met anyone like you–because most of the women I see around are either gold diggers or rather vacuous individuals obsessed with their looks and handbags.

“Everything about you is strange, Elain. Your job is strange. Your manner is strange. Your dress is strange. You are a girl from the past, who is also thoroughly modern. I don’t know what to make of you, but I know that I love it. I adore it all.”

They stopped in the middle of the street, while Piglet ambled aimlessly around their legs and Elain asked, her voice trembling with nerves,

“You like me?”

Azriel smiled at her and nodded. 

“I do.”

“Even if I am weird?”

“Even then. I especially love that you are unique. Not weird. You are my Elain,” he cupped her cheek in his scarred hand.  “You are one of a kind. And there is no one else I’d rather spend my perfect day with than you.”

“What is your perfect day?” she breathed, her eyes wet with tears. He brushed his thumb over her lashes and said,

“I’ll tell you one day, matchy. Or better yet, show you. It may or may not include an apple crisp with custard,”

“Oh yeah! I am excited.”

“You and Pinky are alike. Easily swayed by food,” he chuckled.

“Let’s go eat dinner then,” she pulled him to her. 

“Let’s go then.”

Chicken and rice. Oh yeah. This was Piglet’s favourite meal. Well, his most MOST favourite was meatloaf. When Elain made meatloaf, it was the best day ever. But for that, Piglet had to be very, very good. He couldn’t make trouble, wake up in the middle of the night and alert Elain to a serial killer in the bushes, couldn’t steal anything from the kitchen, had to go potty on time, not tear up his chewies, and not lose his baby, so that Elain didn’t have to look for it everywhere. Meatloaf came with many conditions, and sometimes, it was worth it.

But chicken and rice was the next best thing. Piglet got two chicken feet, three necks, and a bunch of giblets, which was del-ici-ous. 

Though while his dinner was making Piglet very happy, what made him ever happier, kind of giddy actually, which resulted in him stopping mid-meal and expelling a loud gagging wail of happiness, which made mom and dad stop eating and watch him warily, was that dad was now here, eating dinner with them, and he wasn’t gonna leave.

Yeah, Piglet knew that dad was here to stay. And that made him even happier than meatloaf.

“Is he…okay?” Azriel asked unsure.

Elain was stifling a laugh, as Piglet roared like a bear over his bowl.

“That’s him being extra happy,” she explained.

“What spurned this on?”

“Chicken and rice, I suppose,” Elain shrugged. “He loves it.”

Suddenly, Azriel leaned back in his chair, gripped the table and roared loudly, startling both Piglet and Elain. Piglet stared at him, until a piece of chicken fell out of his mouth, buggy eyes jumping from Azriel to Elain. When Azriel didn’t stop roaring, Piglet joined him and howled wildly.

“You two nutters!” Elain cried out, laughing and covering her ears. “Stop it! Look at the state of the two of you!”

“We both love chicken and rice!” Azriel howled.

And yes, Azriel really did love the incredible, flavourful and meltingly unctuous chicken soup that Elain served for dinner, but then they had buttered rice with herbs and chicken with ginger and garlic and it was the best thing that he’s ever eaten. Bar none. The soup melted over his bones, over his lungs, filling his chest with warmth and nutrition.

“I must tell you something, Ms. Archeron,” he decided, once the roaring and the howling was done, and Piglet resumed his munching.

“And that is what, Mr. Night?” 

“Sleeping with you and eating your food, made by your lovely hands is the only panacea that I need in my life. Therefore, as you can understand, I can no longer leave you, because otherwise, I will wither from illness and die,” he concluded dramatically.

Elain clutched her chest and exclaimed, “oh, the exquisite drama of it all!”

“I should think so.”

“You’ll be fine,” she told him firmly.

“I will be. With you,” he agreed, and poured both of them more wine. “Thank you. For this,” he added sincerely. “Amazing dinner. Truly.”

“It's just chicken soup,” Elain shrugged, but she blushed and he knew that she liked the compliment.

“When is your birthday?” he asked suddenly.

She frowned and said, “December 23.”

“Oh, right before Christmas,”

“Yeah,” she sighed. “Not only that, but Feyre’s in on the 21st. The 21st is the Winter Solstice, so naturally, every year, Feyre suddenly turns into a pagan goddess and starts to celebrate with gusto, saying how she was born on the longest night of the year. 

“And then it’s Christmas a week later, so normally, no one cares about my birthday. My sisters will ring me up, sometimes we’ll go for drinks, and that’s about it. Dad sends money,”

Azriel smiled at that, “that’s a dad move”.

“Yeah, fifty quid without fail. Every year. In a card. Pretty sure his secretary is the one responsible for sending it.”

“So, do you need a date for Feyre’s birthday then?” he inquired boldly.

Elain shook her head in disbelief, 

“So you are inviting yourself?”

“Actually, I am inviting Rhys,”

“Oh, so you are bringing yourself AND your cousin to someone’s birthday?”

“Maybe Cass too,” Azriel shrugged.

“Oh, so it’s a Night brothers shindig then?”

“Yeah, we know how to party.”

“No doubt.”

“So then? Yeah. I am your date?” he pressed.

“I mean, do I even have a choice at this point?”

“Not really.”

“Seems like it.”

Azriel finished up his meal and looked outside the window. He folded his hands on his stomach, relaxing back in the chair.

“It’s late,” he said vaguely.

“It’s not even eight yet,” Elain commented, drawing her finger over the rim of the glass.

“Yeah. Late.”

“O-kay.”

“See, Pink is already asleep,” he motioned towards the dog, who was sprawled on the carpet, looking like a giant loaf, snoring peacefully.

“That’s just his after-dinner nap. He does that a lot.”

“Yeah…So I am thinking,” Azriel began and Elain tensed, looking at him apprehensively. He tsked and said, “I think I should stay over. Tonight. With my fever and all. Wouldn’t make sense to take a turn for the worse after making so much progress…Besides,” he gave a hammy exaggerated wince, “my leg hurts a lot.”

Elain crossed her arms on her chair, watching this piss poor performance.

“Is that so?”

“Yes! It’s all pretty dire, if I am being honest.”

“So dire that you are unable to call for an Uber or even your driver?”

“Dev has a hot date. Wouldn't be right to bother him. And Ubers are so…impersonal.”

“Are you just sitting in front of me, lying through your teeth?” she asked with a sigh.

“Maybe.”

“What do you want, Mr. Night?”

“I would like to spend the night, Ms. Archeron.”

[artemismoorea03]

Little Badger, Big Badger

Vlad’s obsession is family, something he is seriously lacking. To make matters worse his core is already convinced that Daniel is his son, and being away from his son is causing him a lot of emotional turmoil and pain. The more he ignores it the worse he treats Daniel when he sees him again, and the more Daniel distances himself.

But after all that Vlad has said and done, forgiveness is a million miles away... right?

Vlad Masters was many things; a leader, genius, evil mastermind, most powerful halfa in the ghost zone, and Mayor of Amity Park. Other than the occasional hiccups in his life things had gone fairly well. Sure, the accident when he was in his twenties was inconvenient, and his status from human to halfa was a long and painful one but it was far from the only painful thing he had experienced.

Even before the accident things had been… difficult.

His father was determined, undermining and cruel - demanding he be a soldier as he once was or at least be something useful instead of a ‘white collar sleazebag’. His mother was absent most of the time both physically and emotionally and when she was there she was constantly annoyed with anything that had to do with Vlad and his sister. 

That’s right - sister.

His sister had been the only light in his life in the gray, a few years younger than him but as bright as a star. After he got infected by ecto-acne he distanced himself from her considerably which hurt his core but was for the best. His sister was… fragile, but fragile in a different way compared to their parents. There wasn’t a bit of aggression, hostility or cruelty to her, a stark contrast to Vlad. A heart of gold and kind hands which healed others instead of hurting them. But she was sensitive and often got too attached to those who only hurt her.

Abusive relationships, cruel partners, and lack of caring for her safety because she wanted to fix the ones she loved often put her in harm's way. Vlad thought that by separating himself he was going to help protect her from him. So shortly after he fully ‘changed’ into the halfa he was now he cut all ties with his wonderful little sister and his awful parents.

His core and obsession suffered at this choice, it was so young and so fragile that it latched onto the last connections he had and the newest connection it formed. Maddie, Jack and Daniel Fenton. 

He still despised Jack Fenton for the accident, his calculations, his haste to finish their project, his mistakes had cost him everything but it didn’t change that he still cared about him deep down. Maddie - he knew it was a foolish dream to imagine he could take her from Jack, even when he knew how she felt about him in college, if being married to the bumbling oaf for 20 years wasn’t enough to change her mind he sure as sugar wouldn’t be. Then Daniel… an absolutely amazing child who was like him. He died too young and his core was still new. It needed a connection, a bond, an older core to learn from and Vlad was desperate to be that mentor.

But his years alone made him aggressive, his core and obsessions lashed out when they saw Jack and gained an attachment to Daniel. He messed up and as a result he hurt his chances of forming that bond with Daniel.

It hurt.

Vlad had hurt him.

He had never wanted to do that.

Vlad thought that would be the last of it, that if he couldn’t have Daniel, Maddie or Jack then he would make his own family but that didn’t work. Because part of the whole ‘being dead thing’ also meant biological children were impossible and cloning wasn’t working no matter how hard he tried! So he grew more hostile. More desperate. More afraid.

He became Mayor of Amity Park partially to spite Daniel but to also teach him, both a life lesson about picking powerful enemies and also to keep an eye on the boy in case things got out of hand within the city limits. It was enough - at least for a while. But he could already feel his obsession reaching and crying out for more.

Family.

Family.

Nights made the feelings harder to ignore. Harder to push off. Harder to push though, the constant nagging to check on Daniel and insure that he wasn’t harmed or working too hard was infuriating. Thankfully, on this night it seemed as though fate had plans of its own.

It started with a soft and almost hesitant knock, pulling Vlad’s attention away from his tea which had long since gone cold. He had been glaring at it for hours to try to get the nagging pull of his core to cease, and while it clearly hadn’t worked on the knock would at least provide a small distraction.

Vlad got out of his chair, placing the tea on his coffee table as he walked through the house as the person knocked a second time, this time more confident. It made Vlad raise a brow as he walked to the door and pulled it open with mild annoyance, the scent of rain assaulting his nose and rain immediately splashing into the house as it hit the path outside his door. He hadn’t even noticed the sudden onslaught of precipitation.

He looked down at the person standing in front of him, blinking in surprise as he looked at the familiar teen. Black hair was soaked down, white t-shirt clinging to his painfully thin body, jeans drenched up to the knees, and a type of exhaustion that felt wrong on a face so young. Daniel’s eyes met his for a moment, too blue to be natural and much harder to hide than they had been when they first met. Then his eyes looked down and he rubbed his arm.

“Daniel? What are you doing here? It’s late.” He said, though the time was the least of Vlad's concerns. The last time Daniel and Vlad had been face to face he had been attempting to destroy Danielle (or ‘Elle’ as he heard she had gone by since that day). They were far from on ‘friendly’ terms, yet he was here.

“Can… can we talk?”

Vlad blinked, looking at Daniel in confusion. “Just… talk?”

Daniel nodded, refusing to look at him still. “Yeah...”

Vlad went to tell him to just say what he needed to say then leave but his core seemed to almost beg for him to hug Daniel. Plus, this was a great chance to try to fix things. There might never be a chance like this again.

He couldn’t let it slip through his fingers.

“Very well. Come in and kick off your shoes by the door. I will get you a towel so you’re not getting everything wet.” Vlad said, stepping to the side as Daniel walked into his house, closing the door behind him. He watched as Daniel seemed to hesitate, before starting to pull off his shoes.

Vlad took the chance to walk towards the nearest bathroom, opening the door and simply grabbing the towel from directly off of the towel rack. He carried the towel back to Daniel who continued to stand near the door, as though scared to cross further into the house. Vlad held the towel out to Daniel.

Again, Daniel eyed it interestingly before he took it and started drying off his hair.

“Come, we can sit in the kitchen. I was just about to make myself some fresh tea.” He said, leading Daniel through the house into the kitchen. Once they entered the kitchen Vlad gestured towards the bar and the barstools that were tucked neatly under it. “Have a seat, Daniel.”

“Mhm…” Daniel sat down, glancing around again while Vlad went to the stove, adjusting the kettle and turning on the stove burner.

Vlad then sighed, turning to face Daniel as he leaned against the far counter. “Mind telling me why you’re here…” He looked at the clock in the corner, “Two-twenty-one in the morning?”

Daniel swallowed thickly, seeming to hesitate as he opened his mouth, but then shut it again quickly as he curled up in on himself causing worry to pang at Vlad’s chest.

“Daniel? Did something happen at home?” He asked.

Daniel let out a shaky breath, “N-no. Home… home is fine. I-I just… I-I um… I…” He looked terrified, more fear than Vlad had ever caused this child. Though that was a given considering he was currently fighting back tears on a barstool in his kitchen. Whatever had frightened this child was scarier than Vlad.

Somebody or something had scared his kid.

Vlad hesitated, unsure what to do for a moment before he reached into a cupboard, pulling out a box of cheap sugary sweets. Specifically cosmic brownies. He opened the box, pulling an unopened package out for himself then handing one to Daniel who eyed it confused before looking up at Vlad, blinking the tears from his eyes.

“What’s this?”

“Cosmic brownie. Unfortunately it was something your father got me hooked on in our college days, I have been unable to shake the habit and always keep some in the house as well as in my office.”

Daniel opened it, then took a bite. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because nobody will ever believe you.” He said, and to his relief he heard a snort of laughter come from the teen.

“Yeah, I guess they wouldn’t. Who would believe that Mayor Masters has cosmic brownies on standby.” Daniel smirked, “You should get one of those ‘in case of emergency break glass’ cases and just put a box of cosmic brownies inside.”

Now it was Vlad's turn to chuckle, “You know, I might have to agree with you. Perhaps I could put one in each room in place of a fire extinguisher.”

Daniel laughed again, a bit harder this time. Though it didn’t last long before he took another bite of his brownie and sighed. “I um… this is going to sound stupid but I had a nightmare.”

“A nightmare?” Vlad questioned leaving the ‘a nightmare bad enough to come to me?’ part of his statement unsaid.

Daniel nodded slowly. “I um… it’s complicated and I don’t know how much I’m able to say but… there was this ghost a few months back and he… he nearly killed Mom, Dad, Jazz, Sam, Tucker and my homeroom teacher, Mr. Lancer.” His voice was quiet, his hands trembling slightly. “I-I say ‘nearly’ killed them but he kinda… h-he would have killed them if it hadn’t been for Clockwork.”

Vlad had never personally met Clockwork but he had heard of the incredibly powerful god of a ghost. He did not show himself to those who he did not want to find him. Vlad had never been able to find him, likely as a result of that ability. Though he knew that if Clockwork interfered then what Daniel had said in the beginning about how much he’d be allowed to say implied there were a lot of complicated ‘time-travel’ aspects to this situation.

“But… a-and I know you might not believe me but… y-you were kinda there too. You helped me. Despite everything that we’ve been through… you willingly helped me because I asked. B-but in my dream… in my dream that ghost won. That ghost won and killed my family and my friends and I realized that… even with all I know, a-all I’ve seen, if that happened…” Vlad saw the tears finally streak down Daniel’s cheeks, dripping onto the counter. “If anything happened to them you would still be the first person I would run to. J-just like tonight.” He sobbed.

Vlad walked over hesitantly, standing next to Daniel as his hands shook.

Daniel had gone to him? He had asked for his help and even with everything bad that had happened - all the bad things Vlad had done to him - he had come running to him. What did this mean? What did this mean? What should he do? What could he do?

“Daniel… I won’t lie to you. I don’t fully understand what you’re talking about but what I do know is that I am happy you’re here.” He said as Daniel looked up at him, almost surprised as tears streamed down his face still.

“Y-you are?”

“Yes. My obsession… is complicated, as is my situation. But I have been neglecting it for many years and as a result it has made me… aggressive, cold and hostile. Such traits that have been turned unfairly to those whom my obsession is drawn to; you and your family. I have done horrible things to you and your family and while you have no reason to forgive me I… I would like to attempt to start over.”

Daniel seemed as though he was still unsure about all of it, so Vlad let out a shaky breath, sitting on the stool next to Daniel, turning him slightly. 

“My obsession is Family, Daniel.” He explained as Daniel’s eyes widened.

Talking about an obsession was difficult for ghosts and asking about one was considered incredibly rude, so Vlad could understand why Daniel was confused by the subject. But, Vlad knew if he stopped talking now he wouldn’t finish this conversation, so instead he kept talking and didn’t give Daniel a chance to speak.

“A family, which I do not have and cannot have. My parents have never been particularly nurturing and my sister, well, I was forced to distance myself for her safety after the accident. My core attached to what I knew at the time of the accident; your parents. Then when I met you my core - for lack of a better term - imprinted on you. My obsession for a family now specifically surrounded you because my core was convinced that you were already my family. But the amount of neglect my core has suffered over the years causes some emotional turmoil and as a result I lash out and I have repeatedly hurt you and as a result-”

“-I pulled away further.”

Vlad nodded, “Yes, which as you know makes that pull stronger. Being in the same city as you has helped considerably but… I would still like to fix this. To start fresh. I want to be the kind of man you can run to in an emergency or when you feel unsafe, and while I cannot say I won’t make mistakes in the future I do promise to try to be better.”

Danny sniffled, rubbing his eyes. “I-I think I’d like that. I-I mean… I can’t promise I won’t be a pain in your ass sometimes or cross lines now and then, but I can promise to not be as much of a pain, so long as you stop trying to kill my dad and steal my mom.”

“Very well, though, I cannot promise that ‘forgiving and forgetting’ will be as easy in practice but… for you, my boy, I will try.” Vlad smiled down at Daniel, “Now then… Danny, would you like some tea?”

Danny’s gaze softened, “Tea sounds great. Thanks, Uncle Vlad.”

[genadelikesships1233]

I also want Dean’s apology too jack to go like this. (Im a bad writer so sorry) (Also Jack isn’t God, but Cas is teaching him angelic power stuff and the Confession didn’t happen but Destiel is referenced) (This is very janky, so sorry)

Dean is sitting on the hood of the impala. Tonight was hard. A hunt gone wrong had gotten Sam hurt, even though he had only broken a leg, Dean felt guilty. He felt guilty for alot of things, Jack had been talking to Cas but then immediately retreated to his room after seeing Dean.

Not only was he guilty about his brother. He knew he didn’t do right by Jack. The kid is only 2. Cas was trying to convince his friend that he was angry, but even Cas didn’t believe that. Dean had lost his mother, but he then almost lost his kid and best friend.

Could he even call Jack his kid anymore?

Not until he apologized and earned Jack’s trust back.

So he decided to drive somewhere private. He left Sam with Cas, and explained he needed to go for a drive. His brother and best friend exchanged a look but didn’t ask questions.

So here he was. On the side of the road. He then closed his eyes and prayed.

“Hey, Jack.

It’s Dean. I know you don’t want to talk but I- I wanted to apologize.

I was hurt and I got angry. And after what you did- I just couldn’t stop it. And then I made the mistake of thinking you aren’t our family.

You are so important to us and you are family. And i treated you like any other monster . But I forget you’re only a kid, Cas’ kid.

So i just wanted to say im sorry. And just wanted to begin earning your trust back.

But if you don’t want that I don’t blame you.”

Dean didn’t realize he had started crying, he waited for a second. Before bowing his head and sagging his shoulders, the guilt he felt was heavy but it’s what he deserved. He knew Jack wouldn’t forgive him, he knew it, he just lost another person who as willing to love him. Fuck he was an idiot-

His self deprecating stopped when he felt a sobbing Jack hugging him so tight that under normal circumstances he would have told the kid he couldn’t breathe but now he just hugged the kid back.

The kid had his face buried in Dean’s chest and was talking absolute nonsense. But Dean made out a few words like. “Dean” “Im sorry” and the one that broke his heart. “Dad”

They hugged like that for 5 minutes. Dean held onto Jack protectively, it reminded him on how he would comfort Sammy when he was crying.

It made him unconsciously hug tighter.

Jack after calming down but still hugging Dean said. “I have already forgiven you. I just didn’t think that you would want me around anymore. But I miss being a family.” “I thought you kept me around for Castiel. But Im scared Dean, Im scared one of these days, you will just throw me out. Please don’t hate me anymore”

The last words hit Dean like a truck. Fuck. Did he really mess up this much? He let go of Jack and then held his shoulders, being face to face.

“Jack- I don’t hate you. I will never ever hate you, I can’t say I wasn’t angry. And I can’t excuse myself. But you matter to me. It took time but I realized that you are the chance that will finally redeem me. To not be the soldier my dad raised me as. Im sorry, i want my family back too”

Jack smiled. And Dean felt the weight leave him shoulders but in the back of his head, he told himself he doesn’t deserve it. He doesn’t deserve Jack or his family.

Jack’s face became serious for a second and then he smiled again. “Can we go home?”

Dean then ruffled his hair and said. “Lets go, kid”

Cas had been happy to see his son and his love be happy again. It almost made him cry in joy when he saw Dean and Jack making dinner together.

He loved them both so dearly, even Dean didn’t know it.

But when him and Jack were alone, Jack became serious.

“I want John winchester in the deepest part of hell and I want him tortured, and beaten.”

To say Cas was shocked would be a understatement of the eon. And when he asked why.

“You should have seen him, Castiel. He still thinks so low of himself. And then I saw scars. All inflicted on him by John. I didn’t want to see it. But I-. If you saw it, Dad. You would be angrier than I am.”

The power to see a person’s scars, inside and out was a power Cas had taught him. He realized he never used it on the brothers, or at all. Not seeing it necessary but Jack wanted to learn it.

And when he did see the scars on Dean, he was horrified.

Jack had been right.

And he did make sure, John winchester got what he deserved.

Crowley and Rowena, were happy to oblige.

[zeta-in-de-walls]

Analysis on Tommy’s character’s mental state as a result of the exile arc.

Hey guys, I often makes posts discussing Tommy’s character and one thing that absolutely can’t be ignored is how his character has been traumatised by his experiences during exile. So, I thought I’d discuss in depth and how it’s impacted his behaviour.

In exile Tommy usually described himself as lonely. This is somewhat true but it’s actually a little misleading if you take it at face value. It’s not really loneliness that was his main issue, that was just the easiest one to express. Indeed, people did visit, they just didn’t really help with the issues that were really plaguing him. And there were a few.

-Tommy felt powerless. He was weak and attempting to get stronger himself only lead his hard work to be wasted. Therefore, he was reliant on others for help, and was utterly unable to give them anything back for any help offered. 

He also felt trapped, he had to stay on the island so people could find him and visit him but he was not allowed to choose to send time with others himself. He was completely reliant on others deciding to visit him. (Him building not one but two bridges to make it easier for others to visit was all he could do to increase the odds of someone coming to see him.) It wasn’t just loneliness so much as it being something out of his control. 

-Tommy felt worthless. He felt like L’Manburg had just seen him as a liability and was increasingly feeling like they were better off without him. No one really cared about him. He didn’t feel like he had value anymore as a person. 

He didn’t want someone to visit him, he wanted someone to stay with him - he wanted to feel accepted, validated. That’s why he spent time making a guest tent, so people could spend the night. And was so ecstatic at Mexican Dream agreeing to live with him. 

-Tommy is a very clingy person. He’s extremely sociable and becomes attached really easily. He has a hard time letting go too. In exile he constantly missed Tubbo and obsessed over the fact that he hadn’t visited. Leaving on bad terms hurt him. He couldn’t resolve anything and instead his frustration and bitterness grew and grew. He was put into such an awful and dark mindset! Its during this that he lets himself grow attached to Dream instead, who subtly encourages him to believe Tubbo didn’t care. 

So, Tommy said he was lonely, but he was way more troubled than he let on. 

...

Dream also took advantage of Tommy and performed abusive actions that both confused and traumatised him. 

Dream forced him to drop his items, hitting him if he refused and threatening to kill him if he continued to resist. He then acted nice, protecting him, keeping him company and joking around with him.

He lent Tommy his pickaxe and trident. He helped Tommy get primes. He repeatedly blew up Tommy���s armour. He regularly destroyed any diamond tools Tommy got and talked about ‘letting’ him keep some things, like he was being generous. Dream talked about how L’Manburg was prospering with Tommy there, suggesting everyone had moved on while he was the one responsible for sabotaging Tommy’s relationships.

Dream acted like an authority figure, dressing up all his actions as reasonable and Tommy was at fault for making his actions necessary. He lied about Tubbo not caring about his compass. He promised to invite people to his party and then didn’t, letting Tommy believe they chose not to come. Dream’s actions left Tommy increasingly dependent on him, as he was both physically and emotionally very vulnerable (as Dream had induced) and Dream took advantage of it. Finally, when Tommy did a relatively minor act of rebellion, Dream blew up everything. He killed Mushroom Henry and destroyed anything else Tommy was attached to - his tent, the campsite Wilbur built, the prime log.

Now, one of Tommy’s key character flaws is that he is rather irrational. While he can be perceptive, he often gets driven by his emotions rather than logic. (Its part of why he gets attached to things so easily). Usually he doesn’t actually let his feelings control him, but the exile put him under huge emotional turmoil.

-Logically, he always knew that Dream was responsible. He never forgot anything, he was just struggling to process it.

Dream was acting like he cared and Tommy clung on to that. Even once with Techno he described his confusion at his exile and noted that he recalled all the events perfectly but was confused emotionally and basically wasn’t able to deal with his feelings on Dream at all. He knew he ought to hate Dream but wanted to trust him still. 

Thinking more on emotions is also why he took Tubbo exiling him so personally - just before Doomsday he apologised and said he understood why Tubbo did it (I think he said it was the right decision even) but at the time he was hurt and felt like Tubbo didn’t care about him. Tommy often acts in the heat of the moment but fixes things afterwards. The issue with his fight with Tubbo was that they were unable to see each other and therefore resolve things, causing it instead to fester and get worse. 

So, that’s basically what happened to him throughout exile, but how did this affect his actions? A few different ways.

-He became extremely depressed and almost ended his life. Though he ultimately chose against this, his sense of self-preservation is notably lower. He didn’t seem to be afraid at the possibility of dying during Doomsday. And he was also prepared to confront Dream again over his discs - he had nothing left to lose as far as he was concerned. Once Tommy realised that Dream didn’t want to kill him, he took full advantage of it. He walked up to Dream completely unarmoured while Dream was in full netherite and confidently ordered him around. He was not afraid of dying. And again, he threatened to kill himself if Dream didn’t return after already killing Dream twice. Tommy’s only slowly gaining back his zeal for living. 

-He became angry and lashed out. Jack visited him at one point and Tommy spleefed him into lava, killing him absolutely ruthlessly. This is not a nice anger, its a cold destructive one, a result of all his bitterness from his unjust suffering. A minute later, he can only ask, why did he do that? Sometimes, Tommy might seem meeker, but it’s just hiding pain and rage that comes out in the worst of ways.

When no one turns up to his party, Tommy destroys part of the bridge he built for people to visit as he’s angry and has no real way to lash out - it’s not logical but as Tommy expresses: if they really want to visit then they’ll have to make an effort. A few days later he builds another, not because he’s better but because he’s so desperate for company he doesn’t even care if they don’t really care as long as they show up. 

His actions while with Techno have him torturing Fundy and Connor, interrogating Ranboo and helping Techno release a wither on L’Manberg. This is not the normal Tommy. This is him releasing his bitterness and rage in a destructive way, with his twisted mindset being vaguely approved of by Technoblade (though even he thought Tommy was going too far!) 

-He grew unhealthily attached to anything that gave him any stability in his warped, messed up world. That’s why he started fixating on his music discs so hard. And why he clung to Dream so hard for a while. And why he clung so much to Technoblade, quickly growing dependent on him, desperate for any sort of care and validation.

It’s why he even agreed to help Techno destroy L’Manburg at all. He was in such a warped mindset and wanted to trust Techno even if part of him was appalled by the idea, but his anger at L’Manberg was also clouding his judgement, and he wanted to agree with Techno because Techno cared about him. It’s not Techno or Tommy’s fault but their relationship was messed up thanks to Tommy’s trauma. Tommy was so dependent on Techno and was not able to function properly alone and he was very driven by his emotions, which were in a mess. He could barely sort out his feelings on Dream, let alone L’Manburg or Tubbo. He even let himself believe that all they were doing was minor terrorism, when Techno hadn’t hid his intentions that much at all. 

-Tommy blames himself for all that occurred. When the anger faded, and he was a little less powerless, Tommy began to get back his own sense of agency, which he’d been lacking for so long. With more clarity, he realised that of course he wanted to forgive Tubbo and make amends. His experiences lead to Tommy feeling like it was up to him to apologise - and he did. 

In some respects, there’s some excellent development here - it’s amazing to see him put feelings to one side and realise that his anger and bitterness were hurting him. And he held himself responsible - that his actions, traumatised or not, didn’t justify hurting others. He had been becoming the person he didn’t want to be - and rejected it. 

But there’s some worrying signs too - his experiences left him in some ways too apologetic. His sense of self-worth is still low. He didn’t blow up the community house but at one point said he wouldn’t bother defending himself anymore as there was no point, nothing to be gained from arguing about it. He apologised to Sapnap for releasing Mars - wonderful but it was never really necessary. When interacting with the egg, he said he didn’t want to cause yet another war, having internalised the idea that he’s responsible for most conflicts. At one point he even said he blames himself for Doomsday. It’s not healthy to have such a low sense of self-worth. He no longer blames others for not caring about him - but he does blame himself. 

....

Well this has been a long post. I hope that better expresses how Tommy’s been affected from his exile. I feel like I’ve seen posts complaining about apologists using trauma to excuse his actions. Not at all! Merely to explain. You cannot discuss Tommy’s current character without discussing his trauma. Likewise, it has been treated seriously by the narrative and Tommy continues to have it affect his character. It’s ongoing. He is improving but it has had a long-lasting impact. Indeed his mental state still feels fragile enough that us fans have been very sensitive to anything that might impact him. Tommy should be handled with care, and few of the characters on the server realise this. 

[stephspurs]

A Family Affair | Euro 2020 Football Fanfiction - BONUS MOMENTS

Surprise!!! I'm back with a select few bonus #bamelia moments!! I just couldn't let the love story of Ben and Amelia die, I hope you don't mind. Love Always, Steph xx

PSA: To all new readers, you don't have to read the series (link below) to understand this, however it would help so that you can understand the preconceived emotions behind the chapter!

Champions Again | di nuovo campioni

warnings; none word count; 1865 writing tools; third person until dashed line, first person thereafter. link to fic masterlist here

They had done it, again. The Chelsea boys were lifting their second team trophy for the year, they had just won the Supercup. This was Amelia’s first competition final with the Premier League giants and if she had her way, this wouldn't be last. She was beginning to get addicted to the feeling of winning, of proving to every little girl out there and every sexist male she had ever come across, that anything boys can do, girls can do better. She was letting her results speak for themselves, she was making history and there was nothing that could bring her down from the ninth cloud she was currently riding.

As proud as she was over her own achievements, she was equally as proud of her friends. Whilst she wasn’t part of their Champions League victory, she knew that this moment was just as special to the team that just loved to win. The scenes before her were ones she hoped she would never forget - the look on Jorgi’s face as he lifted his third trophy of the last few months, the crinkles beside Mason’s eyes as he grinned at the camera that was desperate to capture every moment of the evening, the tinge of pink on the apples of Ben’s cheeks as he stood with his hands on his hips while he watched Amelia give her first post-match tactical analysis to the Sky Sports reporter - proud that she was his girl. These were the moments that made Amelia forget all of the hard times, or rather made her realise that all of the hard times were worth it to see her friends, her team, her man smile.

With every great victory comes an even greater after party, and even though the Super Cup final coincided with the start of the season, the boys still believed that they deserved an afterparty to celebrate. Captain Cesar Azpilicueta had kindly offered the grounds of his Surrey home to host the bunch of rowdy boys, and their onslaught on mates and partners on the Sunday afternoon between the Super Cup final and the first match of the Premier League 21/22 season. Whilst they were under strict instruction from the higher powers of Chelsea Football Club (namely; Thomas Tuchel) to keep the drinking to a minimum and to keep themselves out of trouble, the boys were allowed to be boys for one more night.

______________________________________________________________

“Benj, what are you wearing? I don’t know if I should wear a sundress or denim shorts! Please, I need help!” I shouted out to Ben who was currently somewhere in his large house.

“Why would my outfit be able to help you with that decision” I could hear his voice getting closer, his footsteps getting louder as he began to ascend the stairs up to the main bedroom that I had slowly started to take over in the last couple months.

“An opinion is all I’m after - stop being cheeky mate” I shoot back at him as I begin to stand up from my place in front of his wardrobe. It was still his wardrobe, he hadn’t asked me to move in yet so it was still technically his even if it was half full with my clothes. As I got to my feet, I turned to see him leaning in the doorway with his arms and ankles crossed over each other. Wearing a tee shirt and some denim shorts himself with a cap covering his ungelled hair - a request from me because it was much easier for me to run my hands through if it wasn’t laden with gel...and because it gave me an excuse to push it out of his face whenever I felt like it (which was often).

“I wouldn’t mind if you stayed in that outfit to be fair, however, that would also mean we would be skipping this afterparty altogether and be spending the afternoon celebrating in an entirely different manner” He states staring at me while I’m currently standing with my hands on my hips, staring at the shorts and tank top combo I have laid out on his bed - again, his bed not ours - he hasn’t asked me to move in yet so it was technically his even if it did have the new bed sheets I purchased a couple weeks back with the matching throw cushions on it. The barely-there outfit that I was currently sporting and that had him licking his lips as he pushed himself off of the doorway to walk to me and wrap his arms around my body from behind was a bralette and a pair of his Chelsea shorts.

“Ok sorted, you’re in denim shorts so I’m going to wear mine too. Done ok move get off me I need to change or we’re going to be late” I exclaimed as I pushed him off me with my hips. A bad move? Absolutely not. I got to feel all of him against me and remind him of what he gets to come home to every evening, if he choses.

“Wow what's the rush now Mils? Why are you walking around like you’ve got ants in your pants?” He questioned as he tightened his grip on me and turned me so I was facing him, looking up into his curious baby blues.

“And don’t say nothing, I’ve picked up on all of your tells already” He further questioned as he could see the wheels begin to turn behind my eyes, desperate to come up with an excuse to mask my jitters so I wouldn’t have to tell him the truth.

“I regret ever letting you become friends with Fede, he’s spilling all of my secrets...Ok fine. I’m nervous to see Jack. I haven’t seen him since...ya’know and I haven't spoken to him since I gave him a telling off before international break and Ben I promise you I haven't thought about him once but I’m still worried that there's unresolved anger there from him and I don’t want to get into it again just when we’re getting back into the groove of us and it’ll impact your friendsh-” my rambling was cut off by his lips, which were simultaneously reminding me to breathe between my words and leaving me breathless at the same time. He always did have a way with his lips, the power they held over me was unmatched by anything.

“Calm down love, I promise it’ll be okay. Jack and I have had it out already, a long chat on international duties which may have only been prompted because Mase and Dec locked us in the kit room after our first session, sorted it all out.” Ben reassured me as he began to rub his thumbs over my cheeks and his hands held both sides of my face.

“I do know he wants to apologise to you though - so don’t be surprised if he tries to do that early on in the evening. You know just how awkward he can be so he’ll probably spring it on you before you’ve even put your bag down.”

“Oh great, I’m gonna need to do a couple shots before we leave the house - you’re good to drive right?” I said as I walked from his grasp and down the stairs to grab the bottle of vodka for some good old fashioned dutch courage.

______________________________________________________________

Ben was right about Jack, he had approached the couple only moments after they had arrived at Azpi’s house. Amelia had spotted him making his way towards them so she began to walk in a different direction to Ben, stretching their interlocked hands and letting him go as she mumbled something about needing to put her bag down. Ben really knew both of them too well. Jack gave Ben a hug hello, still in the grovelling stage of repairing their friendship.

“Hey bro, how’s it goin?” Jack spoke as he pulled away from Ben.

“Yeah bro all’s good with me, how are you? Congrats on the move again, million dollar geez you are, aren’t ya? Don’t forget me when you're mingling with Messi in a couple years” Ben joked back with the boy who has been literally a brother to him for the last few years.

“Ahhh you’re jokin me, could never forget a brother could I? We’re basically blood at this point I reckon. Where’d Mils run off ta?” Jack questioned with his arm around Ben’s neck, both of the boys looking out into the garden for the girl in question.

“Right here super Jack” Amelia spoke from behind them. During their brief discussion, Amelia had put her bag down and ran inside to grab herself a drink before walking out to face the music of Jack’s apology. Overhearing how lighthearted he was with Ben, coupled with the reassurance that Ben had provided her earlier in the evening plus the two or three vodka shots she had downed in their kitchen before coming to the afterparty had meant that she left her worries at the door.

“Mils, darlin', you already know what's coming but I truly am sorry...to both of ya ya’know. Benny, we’ve already had it out and it took me ages to get over that black eye but please believe me when I tell ya I am so sorry for treating you that way Amelia. From the bottom of my heart, I am sorry and I regret nothing more than how I made you feel.” Jack could feel himself getting teary whilst thinking about how he made the girl feel, how he made his best mate and chosen brother feel, how he really put a spanner in the works of their blossoming relationship.

“Jack, I’m not going to say it was ok because it wasn't. But it wasn’t just your fault, I also played a part in it that has me cursing myself every day for ruining things with Benj. I forgive you, Jacky.” Amelia spoke while reaching up and wrapping her arms around Jack’s neck to give him one of her signature squeezy hugs, to truly convey that she was moving on from their tumultuous past and hoped that he could stop beating himself up over it and do the same.

Jack had left the couple to return to the table and grab himself a refill of his drink. Ben’s arm had found its natural position around Amelia’s shoulders as they both stood there looking out at their friends. However, Ben was looking down at Amelia. Without missing a beat and keeping her eyes focused out on the yard, Amelia spoke only loud enough for Ben to hear.

“So, you gave Jack a black eye over me huh? That’s hot”

Amelia took a few steps forward before turning to look at the expression on Ben’s face as she continued to walk away from him, backwards. The slight shock turned into a full on smirk as he walked towards her eager to close the gap between them with a kiss. He knew she loved him with her whole heart, but he hoped that she would understand just how much he loved her right back.

The Proposal | la proposta

[13tinysocks]

I wanna see some anti fanfic rec plspls

You asked for it. May I present, a creepypasta x reader anti-reading list.

Quick Disclaimer: No author names will be dropped nor fic links or sites they’re on. I dislike these works but I don’t want anybody to be harassed. Don’t go after people, holy shit. These works are only here because of some heavily disturbing content. One of them just makes me super mad because of a few circumstances. These are purely my opinions. I am not writing Jesus nor do I write the cleanest stories out there. Dark topics should be explored in fiction. However, some things just shouldn’t fucking be romanticized. Fanfic is practice, I’m not taking points off for wonky writing.

You’re allowed to like whatever the fuck you want. I’m not shaming you or the authors. I’m talking about media I dislike, which I am completely allowed to do. If your friend or favorite author’s work is in here, maybe don’t send this to them. I get it’s tempting but still, it could be upsetting. Again, don’t fucking harass anybody. 

This list is in order of - Pisses me off to FBI open up to whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck.

Content warning for: Rape, miscarriages, abortion, necrophilia, sexism, child grooming, multiple types of abuse, ablism, and meanie head criticism of popular fics. Seriously, this gets exceptionally bad at the final one. 

First up in our lineup a pretty popular. It’s the least upsetting and problematic. It’s a various creepypasta x reader mansion fic. This is more of an honorable mention because it’s frustrating to read over being super bad.

Recruited.

Summary: (Y/n) killed an attempted rapist and covered it up years ago. She is recruited into the cpp’s to be considered as a proxy along with two others. Follow her through a journey of no character development into becoming a proxy.

What’s wrong with it?

-Brian literally is a misogynist. He literally hates women.

-(Y/n) is an asshole. Not in an entertaining bad bitch way. No, in an unaware bland way. Points off for being a business major, girl you have no soul and it shows.

-She is treated like the voice of reason who is always morally correct. Thing is, if anyone is neurodivergent or mentally ill and ya’know shows symptoms of it, they’re cRaZy, evil, and an annoyance. 

-Yes, people creeping on or getting clingy can be shitty/annoying but sometimes the way (Y/n) acts is completely unjust. It left a bad taste in my mouth because the character felt okay to be shitty to people who weren’t like her.

-The endings are disheartening and make no fucking sense. Cody, who is clingy at worst, gets rejected Jack, who TRIES TO BREAK (Y/N)’S FUCKING LEG, gets with her. Can I get a HELLO?????? 

-(Y/n) also doesn’t get with Jeff who suddenly turned into her brother character after hundreds of pages of romantic tension. Again, Recruited is not inherently bad but it may be really disappointing to people who are here for 1-2 specific characters.

-Queer bait-y author’s notes and inconstant love interests. Author’s notes would read like “Teehee, maybe I’ll make (Y/n) have Jane and/or Natalie endings……” But that never happens after it’s teased multiple times. I get not wanting to add more to your plate but don’t suggest it if you don’t want to do it or only want to please heterosexual readers.

-They put Tim outside like a dog for being a bad boy. 

-Author’s notes and percentages fill in details for the reader that aren’t in the fic. I’m not going to read all of that. Put important information in the fic. 

-Lot’s of excessive jealousy. Painfully heteronormative. 

What about the good?

Readable. Dramatic like Big Brother. Can be an entertaining read if it’s your thing.

Conclusion

Left a bad taste in my mouth. I feel like the author literally hated half the cast and was annoyed while writing them. When you don’t enjoy writing something it shows. Also, her other work (pandemic! Reader X X-Virus) is super tone-deaf and I don’t recommend that either. Don’t recommend joining this fic’s Discord server either. Won’t get into details but in my and my friend's experience: it’s not a good environment with a lot of playing favorites. 

-

Next up on our list is a grossly popular Eyeless Jack X Reader fic.

My Imaginary Monster

Summary: Immoral monster, Eyeless Jack, sneaking into a 5-year-old girl's room. He gets attached, sticks around through her childhood. Thing is, he gets real creepy. Starts to catch feelings for a 16-year-old he’s watched grow up. He kisses a minor who reciprocates his feelings which is textbook child grooming. Nasty fucker runs away, there’s some drama from that. (Y/n) grows up, comes back to town, and Jack’s a’creepin’.

What’s wrong with it?

-Jack is a literal child groomer. 

-Do I need to say more??? Immortal adult kisses a 16 y/o. Gross.

-People in the comments are going gaga for grooming. Are you kidding me, he’s a pedophile.

-The OC’s take up more than half of the ~200 page run time. I couldn’t get attached to any of them even after the supposed significance. Which is fine but they took up so much of the fic that it got boring and annoying incredibly quickly.

What’s good about it?

I enjoyed Ben. He did the right thing and I can respect that. Trans and poluyamourus reprrensentation.

Conclusion:

No child grooming in my fucking lobby. I think the author was trying to paint it in a bad light. But the thing is, you can write a creepy stalker fic without making them a groomer. A lot of people are trying to escape their troubles through fanfic, including those who’ve dealt with sexual abuse. Don’t bring that into x reader spaces. Don’t put readers through that again. 

-

Last and absolutely least we got a Tim X Reader. 

BIG TW. FUCKING HUGE TW. MOST OF THE TW’S FROM EARLIER ARE FROM THIS ONE FIC. 

Pure Forgiveness.

Summary: (Y/n) is abused by her mom. Her dad killed himself and she’s all (Y/n)’s got in this world. Until Tim comes along and “saves” her. He takes her to the mansion and keeps her as a pet to torture. 

I’m going to get into all the nitty-gritty to satisfy your morbid curiosities so you don’t read it. 

What’s wrong with it?

-Chapter 1 opens with (Y/n)’s miserable life. Her mom hates her so much she has a fucking torture table for (Y/n).

-There’s an attempted rape in chapter 2.

- She’s taken to the mansion by Tim in chapter 3 because he’s “off his medication” and “acting nicer than normal”. Hi, mentally ill person here, that’s not how it fucking works you ding dong. 

-Mental illness is made out to we wholly evil.

-Also tic’s are made out to be scary. As a person with tics, don’t write tics as scary or super weird. Thanks.

-(Y/n) not being able to escape, fight back rapists, and other horrible shit is labeled as weak.

-At one point (Y/n) is dragged through the mansion, beer bottles and used condoms are thrown at her. Girl has to shower off cum.

-(Y/n) is tortured in various ways. Mostly beaten, berated, burned, cut, starved, etc. 

-She is drugged and repeatedly raped by Brian and Toby. These rapes are recorded and shown to (Y/n).

-Brian has black hair. Why?

-Toby and Brian give (Y/n) a forced abortion.  

-(Y/n) gets raped almost every fucking chapter.

-At one point Jack orally rapes (Y/n) to abort a baby. 

-Toby and Brian are necrophiles. They skull fuck a corpse at some point. It is graphically described how they like to have sex with dead bodies.

-Slenderman forcefully impregnates (Y/n) to “keep the (Tim’s) baby safe” whatever the fuck that means.

Why does this happen?

Because Tim wants a kid because his dad raped his mom and his mom was a prostitute. He’s soooo sad guys :(((

Feeling hungry? Here’s some things that are eaten by various characters.

-Hair 

-Cum (forced)

-Toby 

-Piss 

-A miscarried baby 

What’s good about it?

Nothing. Fucking nothing. Don’t read it.

Conclusion

If you like this fic you need therapy, I’m not joking. It’s like a car crash and Rob Zombie movie horribly mish-mashed together. It sucks. The comments praise literal abuse and berate (Y/n) for being afraid. Fuck this fic and everything it stands for. It’s shock horror and torture for the sake of it. It makes no fucking sense and it’s harmful. People think this is okay. It’s not. 

-

Thank you to my pals in the server for helping out and finishing some of these where I could not. Especially you Connie, everyone say thank you Connie she got through Pure Forgiveness. Absolute trooper legend. Again, don’t go out of your way to harass these people. I made this list so you can avoid these works because they have the potential to be upsetting. I’m not the police, I can’t force anyone to stop nor do I want to. Author’s are allowed to explore dark topics but some should be done respectfully or not at-fucking-all. I hope these people grow as writers and understand treating some things a certain way isn’t cool. You can enjoy dark fics, I do too, fuck I write them too, but Jesus God, some things are a no from me chief.

[yanderecandystore]

Happy holidays! how about a hot chocolate competition among the yandere ocs and the best one gets a special cabin date with darling?

Hello @teachillvibes, I'm so glad to see you again- Your requests are always so wonderful boo, thanks for requesting me this one!

Happy holidays everyone!! 🎄

TW/Tags: Sweet times cause I sure love them- // kinda like a city festival going on lol // I took your concept and change it a bit I'm sorry boo ;-; // it took me so freaking looooooooong to do it XD I'm sorry- I was kinda hoping that this could be my Christmas gift to y'all ;-;

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

Hot Chocolate Competition [Yandere!OCS x Reader - Headcanon]:

🍒Bullies🍭

→Alexandra Coldwell:

If I'm being honest, she probably would have reconsidered sharing the prize with her brother before she can consider going out with you instead. Alexandra entered the competition solely because she thought it would be fun, after all she isn't really the type to get herself dirty if it isn't for fun.

She wanted to win of course, but surprisingly she did have a lot of fun learning how to make hot chocolate, especially with her brother's help. Alexandra thought it would only make sense to take her brother as her company into this free wintery vacation, yet for some reason he didn't accept her offer.

Adrien felt satisfied with helping his sister as normally his cooking skills are generally unappreciated or ignored, although he appreciated how his sister wanted to pay back for his help, he was already happy with just being the one that got to teach her something new, since it's normally the other way around.

And besides- Free vacation packages are always so lackluster to him, if it isn't a five star service then why even bother? He could literally pay for better treatment than what the prize guarantees anyway.

Still, she wouldn't have accepted it if she didn't have someone in mind already. Yeah, yeah, she knows you probably won't like the idea of spending time with her, especially all alone in the cold.

But- Hey, I think you should give her a chance, after all, isn't this the time to forgive and forget? Maybe not completely forget, but I'm sure she'll do her best to make this the best trip for you, ever!

→Adrien Coldwell:

Adrien is known as the lazy one of the twins, the antisocial, the "mean one" (let's be honest, they're both evil but in different ways-), yet people tend to not give him enough credit for his accomplishments.

Him coming out as the winner of the competition may seem shocking to many but let us all remember that this isn't just his random luck, Adrien really did work his best to win and since he is already interested in making sweet treats for himself you can only imagine how hard he wanted to be recognized at least once.

The prize that he won was a vacation to a winter resort of some kind for two people, meaning him and anyone he would like to bring. Adrien considered bringing his sister, since he felt like it would be better for her to spend Christmas in a cabin with him than at home with... both of their parents and, may he dare say, ridiculous Christmas songs. Those damn, Christmas songs.

But Alexandra made sure to refuse his offer each time he tried to bring up, saying that the place was probably runned down and filthy and that she would never step inside a place like that- Alexandra also said that it wouldn't be fair to go with him since she didn't help him, and that this was something he won on his on, he deserves to enjoy it fully.

But what a dilemma, who would have the privilege of accompanying him to such a "special event"?

You, of course. Even if he knows you would rather be far away from him and get some rest from his constant torment, it's not like he would leave you alone at all lol-

Hey give him a break, will you? I'm sure you'll have a great time with him, he promises he won't do anything stupid while you two are there.

Just let him repay you for an entire year of entertainment, dearest.

🍎Teachers🥧

→Madeline Allen:

Madeline is normally very uninterested in competing with anyone, even if the prize sounds amazing. What made her stay and see more of the event was when she noticed you in the crowd, maybe you were with your friends, although she didn't really see anyone she recognizes as your friends there-

What made her participate and do her very best to win? It was when she noticed how most of the contestants seemed to have a suspicious interest in you, something felt weird in those stares they were giving you. She is a little suspicious about the intentions behind those stares, yet she has to recognize that whenever there is a shiny diamond radiating light, it's hard to not notice. It's obvious that they recognize how shiny you are, love.

It doesn't really excuse their clingy behavior towards you, but sure, she gets why they're doing this, or why they would enter this competition in the first place. All to get your attention apparently.

Honestly, she wasn't planning on entering this competition at all, but… Hmmn, how can she say this nicely- She doesn't like these people trying so hard to get your attention, specially with the prize being something that would give any of them the privilege of having you all by themselves, no dearest, she can't let them have you like that-

Besides! Wouldn't you prefer being with nsomeone that is actually looking forward to making you happy, instead of being stuck with brats, with troublemakers and… uhn- A cosplayer…?

Anyway, all of them are pretty eccentric with their own weird little charm, she is sure they'll be fine, especially far away from you- Believe me, she is so excited about this vacation! Forget about these guys, think about all of the things you two can do!

She is already thinking about what she'll bring with her, some cozy warm clothes, maybe her favorite fuzzy blanket, maybe some of her favorite movies, some rope, an tranquilizer-

Well, who cares about the details anyway?? She is just so excited, she can't wait to give you the best of her cookies!!

→Matthew Robinson:

Matthew is a really reserved individual. Being part of big events is simply not his thing, but it was because of you and that sweet smile of yours that brought him to this place. And well…. The smile stuck in the other contestant's faces… Not that they were even half as charming as yours, on the contrary, they seemed oddly sinister.

Mischievous by their very nature, all of these people seem to be somewhat interested in you, breathing in your presence like you're oxygen itself. Disgusting. For the first time in his life he feels pissed off enough to say he wants to see them drop dead- Not that he'll actually do anything, he is nothing like that.

All of these people seemed really interested in winning that prize and hopefully taking you with them, which of course he couldn't allow it, as your only protection from these fiends.

When he won, he was too dumbfounded to even notice the hatred looks that the other competitors were giving him. He really did win, didn't he? He couldn't believe he won!

For the first time in his life he didn't feel satisfaction that came from the competition itself being great, no, true satisfaction came when you accepted to go with him! That's the golden prize he never thought he deserved, yet feels so rewarding.

Don't worry dearest, he'll take care of everything that you need while you two are there, you'll be treated like the perfect little princess/prince you are, like the perfect doll.

Now he just needs to be sure on what to bring, this is probably the most excited he has been since he was a child!

🍋Delinquents🐍

→Janette Sartorius:

Janette isn't one for entering in these competitions just because, there needs to be a good reason for it, like helping them raise a good funding for some sort of charity, or ya know, impressing that one really cute person in your class. Yeah, really important-

Look, she has a lot of clown energy, she knows it, but being publicly humiliated is absolutely not her thing! And that means being either the loser or the winner, she doesn't know exactly what to say when she is put into such position-

Still, if it means giving you something nice, then sure! She'll take whatever she can, although she was focusing on gaining something like second/third place so she can get something small like a plushie or a basket of chocolate, anything that would be small yet really charming- Just like you!

When the judges announced her as the winner in first place, she couldn't believe it! No- Seriously, she couldn't believe it!! She tried to make sure her presentation would be nice but mild enough to not be considered a winner!! What the hell???

Even if the universe seemed to have betrayed her by making her be the one in front of so many people as she claimed her prize, she was once again blessed with luck, as her prize was something truly worth looking like a fool in front of so many strangers-

Of course she'll take you first! Why not?? It's not that weird, it's just pals being pals and inviting each other to cool trips, ya know?? Surely she isn't screaming inside at how cliche this all seems.

Look at her, NOT thinking about the huge amount of fanfiction she had ever read where there was only one bed! NOT her reconsidering not going because she can't handle the thought of there only one bed. She is totally fine, ya know? NOT thinking you'll hate her when you learn how much of a weeb she is-

She'll make sure that you have fun with her, but you'll probably catch her trying way too hard to impress you very soon- Please, talk with babe- In her brain there is only one neuron, and it's constantly banging its head in the walls of her brain screaming your name.

→Jackson Macnee:

Jack isn't really interested in these competitions, it isn't his thing, he wouldn't waste time on it unless there was something really, really important at hand.

And it seemed like today was the day to do anything that he could to not only enter such stupid competition, but to win it at all costs. It was when he recognized those familiar faces next to yours that he decided to enter it, but it was when he noticed all of the contestants, who were presumably strangers to one another, get somewhat riddled up about your presence.

Yeah sure, you're cute, you're pretty and yes you're perfect, but seeing half of the contestants being so… Clingy over you it's absolutely ridiculous-

What? You know all of them?? Or are you going to tell him that some of these imbeciles got this lovestruck immediately just by taking one glimpse at you? You would sound absolutely insane to him if you have chosen to tell him none of them, absolutely none of them are interested in you in any way- Especially those dumbass bourgeois blondies.

Jesus fuck, what type of luck is that? Having all these morons be so interested in impressing you by winning a prize for you? Sounds dumb to him, but still, if winning it's what takes to make these fools stop daydreaming about you then so be it. It's not that he really wants to impress you by giving the prize he won, he just wants to see the twins cry after noticing the cruel reality that they don't have you- Or that they can't get everything that they want, that could work too-

Jack is sure to seem calm and unbothered throughout the entire event, trying to sound happy that he won, and trying even harder to not make the laugh in the face of the rest of the competitors. But honestly, he wasn't expecting the prize to be so…. convenient? Really? A place where he can take you to be all alone with him while enjoying such a joyful season?? Yes, he'll gladly take it and make sure to shove in everyone's faces, not literally, but clear enough for everyone to get the message.

Although he is happy for his win, he doesn't really know what to do from there- The fact was starting to settle in when he rethought over and over again about the trip. Somewhere all alone with you, sounds really, well, like a dream, like a fantasy, unrealistic.

Jack will do what he does best, fake that he is calm while hiding the fact he is panicking at the thought of being this close to you. Again, he doesn't want you to know how much he wished for this. Whenever he acts like he doesn't care at all, he at least hopes you know you do mean a lot to him.

🍈A.I (non-binary/gender neutral)👾

→Yuma Soma:

Yuma was focused on winning the moment they entered the competition, however they didn't know what the prize would be until they actually won it. They were more interested in the competition aspect of this event than what they would gain with it, yet when hearing what the prize would be they were, well, confused-

What is so special about this whole "free vacation"? A cabin in the middle of the woods with nothing but snow? Pff- As if snow is even that cool for them to want to see it! Yeah, they know what snow is….. 100%...... yeaaaaaah.

Okay fine, they don't really know what it is. I mean- Sure they know the definition of it, and they have seen a bit of it in their game, although they bet that what they have seen isn't half like the real deal.

It may seem silly, but maybe this trip could be a great opportunity for them to be able to see it and feel it for the first time with you by their side. With you trapped inside the game or not.

Don't be so mean boo, they promise they'll behave this time! The biggest gift you can give them it's the wonderful time you two will share, then again, it's not like you can really do anything against it, right?

🍬Kitsune🦊

→Tatsumi:

To be honest, Tatsumi isn't one for entering these types of competitions unless the price is truly worth it. Money would be the first thing in his list of priorities, yet the idea of going into vacation on the holidays doesn't sound half as bad, ya know?

While walking around the city plaza with you, you two noticed the event happening and decided to take a look.

He wanted to try it out because it sounded fun, yet to actually win?? This feels amazing yet somewhat inappropriate to him, he didn't really consider the possibility of winning, that it almost feels like he would be taking something that he doesn't deserve.

And as he struggles to come out with any excuse as to why he can't take the prize, even though he could take it and give it to any of his friends, you decided to intervene and take the prize for him.

You already knew how Tatsumi felt about himself, you didn't know exactly what led to it but you did know about his constant breakdowns whenever he thought no one was looking. He did tell you about some of his issues but whenever he could he would fake it as being something dumb that you shouldn't worry about, but come on- You already know that is bullshit.

Tatsumi would feel better knowing you're coming with him, but he would still feel awkward knowing it's just the two of you, and it's not like he won't receive thousands of messages from all of his friends calling him out for not inviting any of them. It's not like they had anything against you, they just really liked messing with him over his massive crush over a you-

He may be a little sneaky perv bastard, but come on now- You know he will treat you right while you two are there, honestly he just wants to enjoy some change of scenery with his favorite person.

🍰CEO📏

→Ingrid Bright:

First things first, Ingrid is a serious woman owner of the biggest business empire in the country- Do you really think she has time for things like that? Cause either way, even if she lost, she could have- Built a winter resort just for herself if she wanted to go there so badly.

But who knows, maybe she found something charming about winning the competition and sharing the prize with you, it's… A bit more charming than her just bringing you to a place she paid for. Something about the novelty of winning something for you sounds really appealing, maybe even worth the trial and error, and again she doesn't really need it, so there isn't any harm in trying.

Although let's be honest, there is a slight possibility that the game was rigged to her favour considering her own status against the various competitors. What? It's not like she is aware of it, if anything she is just as clueless as every other person competing.

She probably does need some rest from the same boring office that she has to work in everyday, and bringing you with her may be the best part of it all! What do you say? Want to get some rest far away from the company?

Well, maybe not completely far away, considering she is your boss… But, maybe if Ms. Bright gets to relax for a while, she'll eventually soften up. You won't be in an awkward trip with your boss anymore, you'll be on a surprisingly nice vacation with a person you knew for a while but only got to truly know recently. She really hopes you don't see her as just your boss...

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

[hopevalley]

Season 8, Episode 9: Pre-Wedding Jitters

Y’all know what’s wild? The season is coming to a close! I feel like we just got started with Season 8, and it’s already nearly over. I’m not ready for things to end...except the love triangle. Lol.

One important thing I want to talk about, before we move on to my regularly scheduled episode write-up, of course, is the quality of the writing and filming this season. I really feel like the team took a step back and thought very carefully about how to improve the show, and then they went through the effort of actively trying to improve things. 

Are there still badly-written areas of the show? Absolutely. Are there things I loathe seeing? Yes. Are there plotlines that are extremely contrived even by Hallmark standards? Unfortunately there are.

But I don’t think anyone can deny that the writing this season is, overall, an improvement over Seasons 5, 6, and 7. The only thing that I feel about S8 that is worse than 5/6/7 is the love triangle, but it had to come to a head eventually so it was always going to be a point of contention among the fans.

I’ve seen a ton of negativity going around the Internet, and you are all entitled to your opinions, but let’s hold back from being too angry until we see how things will work out. After all, there is a chance, however small, that Hallmark will end up surprising us.

So here’s to hoping that the writing quality uptick will continue as we move into Season 9.

And now, our plotlines from this episode:

The Dilapidated Love Triangle

The Wedding Planning/Party

The New & Improved Henry Gowen

Miscellaneous (Car Investigation, pastor position/Jesse and Clara + Cafe, Carson and Faith, Mike and Fiona)

This was another episode that felt pretty smooth in its storytelling; it had some smaller plots going on, but two primarily large plots, a smaller one that revolved around Henry, and then a few small (connected) plots from previous episodes/that overarched the whole season!

Sorry for the muddle by the way, it took me hours to type this and I’m too tired to read it over thoroughly before posting. If you see any glaring issues please let me know so I can fix them, though!

--

The Dilapidated Love Triangle

Let’s just get the pig slop out of the way, shall we? I think we are all in some sort of agreement by now that we’re tired of the triangle and just want to see it resolved as soon as possible so that we can get on with our lives and invest our interests in the right place(s). 

I also believe most of us are also in some kind of agreement, however we feel about the characters, the triangle, and who Elizabeth’s choice should be, that this thing has been very poorly paced. This sentiment seems to be echoed across the Internet right now. The pacing is AWFUL. After two years of almost nothing happening, now we’re going to bullrush to the end of the triangle? That’s a yikes from me, Chief. (Wait, didn’t I say that last week, too?)

I was never a fan of the narrated beginnings of episodes. I think they’re really tacky and boring. That said, there’s no other way to get into Elizaeth’s head easily because...I don’t know. Either Erin isn’t that skilled or the director doesn’t know how to direct her, or the script sucks. They struggle SO MUCH with show-don’t-tell that they have to resort to telling...which is fine, sometimes. This is an instance where telling is just mega redundant since she says the same exact thing probably 10 more times in the episode. I wish they’d have just kept the first part of the reflection or focused more on that—how Nathan talking about it...makes it feel fresh and raw again in a way she didn’t expect.

Anyway, Elizabeth writing that she’s been “left to reflect, once more, on the senseless accident that took [Jack’s] life” is ridiculous. Senseless? He was in charge of the training mission, but unless I’m losing every last marble I’ve ever had, wasn’t it Jack’s choice to go after the younger recruits who had been separated? Wasn’t it thanks to Jack’s quick thinking and intervention that only one person lost his life that day (Jack himself)? 

This is where the whole “Jack died heroically” thing kind of matters, actually. Especially when you butt it up against Nathan being the original person intended to go. Would he have risked his life like that? We’ll never know, but I’m sure Nathan thinks about it a lot, and it’s not something that should be left out of this story.

It’s valid for Elizabeth to wonder why Nathan kept the Secret hidden from her for almost three years, but what is really troublesome is the weird shift she seems to have between Casual Curiosity and Stricken Grief about it.

I grew tired of mopey Elizabeth in S4 and 5, so I’m not happy to see her back. Fewer eye drops, please. -_-

Anyway, it almost felt like a breakthrough when Elizabeth asked Rosemary why she thought Nathan took so long to tell her about Fort Clay, but Rosemary’s response was so bad. “He didn’t think it was important enough.” WHAT? WHO WOULD SAY THAT? Rosemary can be a bit thick-headed but that was almost too contrived for me to willingly follow. Anyone with a brain would realize it was IMPORTANT and THAT WAS WHY IT WAS A SECRET.

And when Elizabeth’s like, “Not important enough?” BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY IT IS IMPORTANT... Rosemary just tells her that Jack’s death wasn’t Nathan’s fault.

Which. She’s right. But that doesn’t make the secret unimportant. It’s still kind of a big deal. He’s confessed to being in love with Elizabeth multiple times now. Even Rosemary can’t be so dumb that she doesn’t realize that the connection between Jack’s death and Nathan is...meaningful, especially to Elizabeth. And that Nathan knew this and couldn’t bring himself to tell her because he knew it would hurt her.

Anyway, I’m doing my best to give Elizabeth a bit of grace here, because she’s just so self-centered I almost can’t stand it. To be clear, Elizabeth has ALWAYS BEEN LIKE THIS. It’s just that usually the issues at hand aren’t about her, they’re about someone else. 

Rosemary’s right but what she said was straight-up stupid. I don’t know, I don’t think the characters are out of character so much as the dialogue just didn’t flow very naturally and I felt like the characters were making assumption jumps to force certain responses. If Elizabeth can’t agree with Rosemary that Jack’s death isn’t Nathan’s fault, then she should have expressed that a bit more directly so that Rosemary could draw the conclusion that Elizabeth does feel it’s Nathan’s fault. It came across like Rosemary was speaking to the audience more than to Elizabeth, and I didn’t like it.

--

The most delightful scene in the entire episode has to go to Allie and Lucas. That was so cute and wholesome and good. Her asking if she could sit at the bar, him offering her a treat, her trying to return the gift ‘cause she felt caught in the middle and like it wasn’t fair to accept it... SO GOOD. They remembered the gift multiple episodes later AND incorporated it into this episode flawlessly. LOVED IT. 

Also, she asked an important question. LUCAS...where DO YOU LIVE?!

His story was a bit silly but I actually enjoyed it. It gives him a more playful vibe and also I think was almost entirely to ensure that Allie felt more comfortable and less anxious about what was happening around her. It was also his way of reassuring her that him courting Elizabeth wasn’t going to take Elizabeth out of Allie’s life...and that things will be okay.

I enjoyed it.

Things were a bit awkward with Elizabeth and Allie but they felt...better than before, so I felt like the conversation helped.

--

Lucas calling Allie “Allie Grant” was nice now that her adoption is official! I appreciate that.

Elizabeth and Lucas talk about how Lucas told Allie he’ll “work things out” with Nathan and Elizabeth definitely doesn’t appreciate it, and with somewhat good reason: she doesn’t like being caught in the middle of things any more than Allie does.

The thing is...she has had the power...all this time...to tell Nathan straight-up to leave her alone/that she isn’t interested. I stand by what I said before, that she shouldn’t have to tell him no for him to respect the boundaries she’s set, but if he’s not respecting those boundaries she needs to be firm about it.

I like how Lucas comes off in this scene. He wants to understand, he listens, he’s patient, he doesn’t push. I’m here for it.

She tells him what Nathan told her and he seems a bit overwhelmed by it, too. It’s pretty clear that he realizes she must be feeling all kinds of things after finding that out, especially after all this time. 

Again, for the second time, Elizabeth doesn’t seem all that grief-stricken about the secret being kept from her for so long: she tells Lucas she just doesn’t understand how he could keep it from her. 

He asks permission to suss out an answer and Elizabeth politely declines and says she’ll ask herself, but to please forgive her, she needs some time to...think.

She watches Lucas go and then...touches her wedding band.

-

Nathan meets Rosemary in the library and goes on a long boring monologue about how he’s read like, three whole books that women wrote, but still doesn’t understand women. No shit, sherlock. That was terrible writing...just straight up bad writing.

But I’m not exactly surprised because the very next thing that happens is that Rosemary tells Nathan...she’s been in his eXACT position before!

No...you have not. Yes, you were the unwanted third wheel, but that’s where the similarities ended, and you should have clarified. This just didn’t hit well for me, I don’t know. I don’t want to say it’s out of character, but...I don’t think Rosemary is this soft gentle personality anyway. I feel like she was always a bit more in your face with the things she said, not “try to encourage a manner of action in a very roundabout way” like she is in this episode. But again, without a logic jump from Rosemary, this scene doesn’t quite work.

I think I might have preferred Rosemary to play dumb and ask what specifically he didn’t understand about women. Make him freakin’ say it. And then she could react better. 

--

We get Love Confession #3 or whatever we’re on with Nathan, now. Let’s go over the entire scene.

Elizabeth walks into Nathan’s office and instantly asks him why it took him so long to tell her what happened.

He says he felt guilty and when she tells him she doesn’t understand, he goes on to say that after the accident he requested a transfer to Hope Valley. He never met Jack but he knew he’d left behind a wife and child, and felt it was his responsibility to look after them and protect them.

She asks why he would assume that, and he explains that he felt it was his duty. And that when he found himself falling in love with her, he felt like he was betraying Jack and his memory. That’s why he didn’t tell her.

He then takes it ONE STEP TOO FAR and says, “I fell in love with you, and I think that love is always worth fighting for.” 

Elizabeth says “Excuse me,” and leaves. Nathan’s face afterward is maybe a decent mix of “I probably shouldn’t have said that” and regret, but...woof.

Anyway, I was fine with this up to the point where Nathan said, completely unprompted, that love is always worth fighting for. How does he know? What are his experiences with love? Books he read, written by men??? PLEASE.

READ PRIDE & PREJUDICE U SWINE... ELIZABETH FALLS IN LOVE WITH MR. DARCY BECAUSE HE DECIDES HE WANTS TO CHANGE AND BE A BETTER MAN AND THEN DOES SOOOOOOOOO oh wait this is turning into an Elizabeth/Henry argument...OOPS?

Anyway, yeah. Not a fan of that line. It almost feels like there’s something missing. She’s standing in front of him about to cry because she feels hurt that he didn’t tell her this, you know, crucial information, and he’s just like “Yeah I didn’t tell u cause I love you and felt like i was betraying jack’s memory and also lol love is worth fighting for babe!” What kind of confusing mess of babble is this?

Honestly, it just left a bad taste in my mouth. :( I have so many really obnoxious opinions about Nathan and what they’ve done with him this season, but I feel like I should save them for a season summary podcast or something, just in case Hallmark ends up surprising me. Right now I just feel like they really just wanted to give him what the fans hated about him (he wasn’t passionate enough, not manly enough, not forward enough with his emotions, at least from what I read on Reddit and Instagram last year), but in like THE WORST POSSIBLE WAYS and for the wORST POSSIBLE REASONS in the VERY WORST SCENARIO.

I feared that would be Nathan’s reason for coming to town from the moment the character was announced and...I wanted to be wrong.

Anyway, I really liked his self-awareness up to that point. He never met Jack, which keeps some of the weirdness at bay. Also, he felt like he needed to make sure Jack’s family was okay, and that’s fine. I wouldn’t call it noble (as Rosemary later does), but it’s not exactly bad, either. Then we got the line of him admitting that it felt kind of bad to fall in love with her. I wish he’d gone on to say that wasn’t supposed to happen, or even given her a reason he loves her (so that it doesn’t feel like we’re just being told everything), because his line about love being worth fighting for right after he says he felt like he was betraying Jack’s memory by loving her...was...really strange??? Maybe a few sentences were edited out? 

--

Elizabeth tries to refuse to play Fiona’s blindfold game and LITERALLY NO ONE SAVES HER (though I think Rosemary considered trying). I hate the idea of this game solely based on the fact that several people participating shouldn’t even be there (Nathan, Bill, Mike, Fiona, Molly), but Elizabeth wouldn’t be able to accidentally choose Nathan if he wasn’t there, so... -_-

I think I might have actually liked this (her “no” with Carson was super cute actually, probably the cutest laugh she’s ever had on this show) if she’d had the chance to reject a few more guys on the way down the line. If she was closer to the end of the line she’d feel her options were running out and might second-guess herself. Having Nathan be the second person she touches and having her choose is...eh.

Nitpicks aside (their hands wouldn’t feel the same and she held Lucas’s hand quite recently actually), it could have been worse. At least she stated who she was searching for...

BUT UGH THE EMBARRASSMENT.

The thing that gets me about the whole scene is 100% that everyone in town would know about the Triangle drama, so it feels...weird to see everyone so gung-ho to watch this happen... I don’t know... I like having fun too, but NOBODY even TRIED to step in??? 

At least Lucas found some humor in it right away (he smiles). 

I think I wish someone had said something. Maybe Nathan could have said, “Nope, sorry” to lighten the mood a bit? Or Lucas could have said, “Almost!” since he was standing right next to Nathan?

--

Anyway, we’re spared having to wait because the very next scene is Lucas checking on Elizabeth and laughing about her choice.

One line I wish they’d added in is that someone else got it wrong. Imagine if Lucas said, “At least you didn’t pick Bill like Clara did!” Or even just made a joke about it in general like: “Of course I’m not upset. But if you would have picked Bill I might be a little hurt. My hands aren’t that old yet.”

Elizabeth tells him that she spoke to Nathan about the whole...thing and it was awkward. She chooses to not tell Lucas the rest of the reason Nathan gave, but instead only admits that he told her he loves her again. When Lucas asks what she said in response she said she didn’t say anything.

Lucas seems...a trifle upset at this, and understandably so. I think he can sense she’s...not really a sure thing and is worried about it. :( I feel so bad for him right now.

--

Rosemary stops by to see Elizabeth after Lucas leaves, and tells her she ran into Nathan at the library yesterday. Elizabeth tells her what Nathan said in his office and Rosemary says it was noble and selfless of him.

(I mean...it wasn’t selfless. Like at all.)

Elizabeth says she never asked him to be noble. She didn’t ask him to fall in love with her, either.

She asks Rosemary if she encouraged Nathan’s feelings for her at the library. Rosemary says no, but Elizabeth asks again and she interrupts her to ask Elizabeth if she’d rather hear what she actually said or just assume.

Rosemary goes on to say that she just wants what’s best for Elizabeth.

And we get Elizabeth asking how anyone would know what was best for her.

I mean, that’s like 90% on you for not communicating with your friends, but also, it’s 100% on you for just assuming you knew what Rosemary said to Nathan. I think she’s just looking for a reason why Nathan is being so persistent and in her mind encouragement from someone else is the only thing that makes sense, ‘cause she sure as heck hasn’t been encouraging him herself!

This hurts Rosemary’s feelings, probably because she was about to say that she wants what’s best for Elizabeth so she asked Nathan to stop getting in the way lol, and says maybe she should leave (since Elizabeth is in a bad mood). Elizabeth agrees she should go.

End episode. On this note. Woof.

Overall it wasn’t too bad I guess? But I’m not a fan of how some of this was written. It really felt like they cut lines out to make the episode shorter, when...they could have cut out one of the boring side plots. You know. The entire thing with Jesse and Clara, for example. 

--

The Wedding Planning/Party

I admit that I got a little enjoyment out of Florence saying no to all the dresses. Highly relatable. 

Then, at the barbershop, Fiona says the exact wORST possible thing about Florence wanting a hairstyle that’ll “knock Ned dead” FLHDSFAJDSA.

Florence goes on to say she wants anything but “ordinary Florence” and Molly steps in.

Honestly, I wish they’d just let Molly stick to being Florence’s BFF because that’s the role she plays best. Also, I’m almost sad Florence and Ned got together because it means #teamflomo is no mo’. :(

Paul shows up...

I don’t know what I expected but this boy would have been a literal BABY in season one, which makes the whole thing with Florence almost sadder AND it gives Florence more in common with Elizabeth (widow with a young child) BUT I HAVE OPINIONS.

I know what you’re thinking. “Manna, you always have opinions!” Yes, you’d be right. 

They based this off of ONE (1) line of dialogue that Florence had in S1 when something was stolen from her house. She says, “while my child slept nearby” or something like that.

They brought a child in...for that? On one hand...I’m impressed.

On the other hand, I kind of had just assumed they’d retconned that and that Florence had no children (which is why she was always goofing off gossiping with Molly) so I don’t really know how to feel about the whole thing.

Rosaleen starred in an episode and never showed up again after S1, so I think I’d have preferred to see her return instead of a child we literally never laid eyes on. But he’s a cutie. And he’s named after his father just like little Jack so...I’ll take it!

--

The party begins and we have to do “the men are stupid and don’t know how to plan” again which is really annoying. The highlight of this entire thing was Ned saying (about his hairline) that he’s been driving with the top down since his 30s. I respect you AND ONLY YOU, Ned.

--

The party continues on and they play charades. Rosemary chose weird awful options that don’t make any sense and are hard to act out. Ned’s could have been funny but the one Bill got is just...so weird.

The funniest part about it is looking at everyone staring at Molly as she guesses it.

I think it was supposed to be...cute? Or something? It was just really weird for me.

“Cuddle up a little Closer, Lovey Mine” (yes, it’s “lovey” not “lovely”) was written and recorded in 1908. You can listen to it here. Lyrics here.

They then play the Most Awkward Game Ever, one that would have had me sweating bullets if I’d had to play it. Florence has to find her man by only holding the hands of the other men.

As Fiona says, it’s a bit...risqué, but Florence rejects Jesse quickly and finds out the second man is Bill by squeezing his hands too hard.

Bill explains that his arthritis is flaring up and of course Sara and I jumped on that almost at the same moment:

We like Bill. :P

And then Florence correctly guesses that the next man is Ned. It’s very wholesome and sweet.

But then it’s Elizabeth’s turn because I guess she’s not been traumatized enough this episode. I covered that in the triangle part of the plot, though.

--

The New & Improved Henry Gowen

We start off with a BANG here with Henry and Christopher. Christopher misses Rachel because he’s a twitterpated little FOOL and he tells Henry all about it...while Henry sees Bill tearing apart the stolen car in the distance.

He asks Christopher how he got to Hope Valley from Hamilton and Christopher just straight up comes clean about it: he drove a stolen car that his buddy stole. 

Henry scolds him a bit, tells him he can’t borrow a stolen car, and explains that he doesn’t want Christopher to end up like him. Christopher seems kind of surprised by this and says, “You turned out good.” 

To which Henry replies, “The jury’s still out on that.” 

Christopher says he’s done with that kind of thing, and Henry tells him he believes him.

Honestly, Henry’s “I believe you” got to me. It sounded SO genuine. And also, can I say YET AGAIN that this kid was an impeccable choice to play Henry’s son? WOW. I can’t get over how much alike they are even in mannerisms and looks.

But THEN when Henry tries to say Rachel has something to do with Christopher being done with that old lifestyle, Christopher tells him “And you” AND I ALMOST LOST IT. SOOOOO GOOD. Henry goes on to explain that “long after” he divorced Christopher’s mom, he met Abigail, who saw the potential for goodness in him. And that he can’t help Christopher be a better man because he’s still figuring that out for himself, but if he thinks Rachel can help him, he should do what he can to not lose her.

--

Later, Henry invites Christopher to Ned’s party and Christopher declines but asks what happened to the woman Henry mentioned earlier—Abigail, of course. Henry says she left town to help her mother.

Is this a...hint of things to come? I’m...not sure.

Henry sits down for two seconds before Lucas asks to speak with him outside. Once there, Lucas admits that he contacted Christopher. This is one of the most contrived plotlines we’ve had in a bit, if only because I just can’t figure out how Lucas would have known who Christopher was, let alone whether or not he would be useful? He doesn’t even have the same last name... I mean, what, did Henry write in sparkly gel pens or something? 

But for some reason he contacted Christopher to come work for Henry to keep an eye on him. He’s not proud of having done it, which makes sense. I guess I wouldn’t be either.

Henry’s upset about it. Lucas tells Henry that he took advantage of him and that he had to make sure Henry could be trusted.

Christopher doesn’t know that Lucas told him, though, and Henry asks that Lucas keep it that way.

It makes Christopher’s behavior with Lucas make more sense (when he kept trying to push him around earlier this season), but the timing is just...awful? Maybe talking to Elizabeth about Nathan’s secret made him feel guilty about his own? I’d buy into it more if I felt like there was a really compelling reason for Lucas to feel that Christopher would do any good...but it’s just too contrived for me.

--

Christopher randomly decides to go to Bellingham to see Rachel. Henry tells him not to make trouble if her parents ask him to leave. Henry makes to leave, and Christopher stops him.

I CANNOT SING THE PRAISES OF THIS SCENE ENOUGH. Christopher tries to tell Henry about the thing with Lucas and Henry’s like...you’re different now, you’re starting over it doesn’t matter anymore!!!! Everyone deserves a second chance!

AND THEY HUG AND CHRISTOPHER TELLS HENRY HE LOVES HIM.

They almost got me to cry. ALMOST. I refuse to cry at this show because I refuse to give Brian Bird the satisfaction, but boy oh boy was this close.

Henry responds with a “me too” and makes Christopher promise to write. Then the stage leaves and that is that.

The rest of the storyline for Henry is under the car investigation. They’re related but...only intertwine at the very end so I separated them. ;)

--

Miscellaneous (Car Investigation, Pastor Position/Jesse and Clara, Carson and Faith, Mike and Fiona)

Car investigation: Nathan starts this episode off on the wrong foot. I think that was...a mistake. THAT SAID...I’m relieved Bill isn’t being written as a complaining whiny pile of trash for once, so I just want to say that...they had to realize after last episode the fan opinion of Nathan would be...not great, so mayyybe they shouldn’t have started this episode off with him literally complaining about doing his job...while he’s in uniform no less. Also he has NO PASSION at all for his job, or for investigating, which I hope means he’ll end up quitting the Mounties. (It could be a hint of things to come...I hope.) 

I mean, does he think Bill got his position for...no reason? Also, thank God Nathan turned down the promotion to Inspector if that was how he was gonna treat actually doing the work?? I’m pretty sure this is their idea of “humor” but boy did it fall flat after the love triangle mess that’s been going on.

The owner talks to Nathan on the phone later and is coming from Hamilton to get his car. Nathan seems to be telling Bill this to discourage him from wasting his time investigating, but Bill doesn’t want to stop lol.

Ned’s comment from the party about his hairline being him “driving with the top down” gives Bill an Idea in the middle of the bachelor party and leaves. Ned looks shook that he produced An Idea.

And follows. Ned is absolutely adorable as he assists Bill. They should interact more?? Long story short, Bill figures out that the top was probably up when it was being transported to Hope Valley (as you wouldn’t want people getting a good look at your face if they’re looking for a stolen car), and finds a footprint in the removable top.

The next day, Bill approaches Henry up at the oil derricks and comments on the fact that Lucas told him that Christopher checked out of his room at the saloon. Henry is up front and honest about where Christopher went, and says he went to Bellingham to see Rachel Thom.

He says, “You know how it is. You love someone, you’d do anything for them.”

The one interesting thing about this comment is that...no, Bill does NOT know. He’s never admitted to being in love in his life. He married Nora, but that was out of obligation (something he makes clear several times). Like, he obviously cared about Nora, but he wasn’t in love with her.

Obviously he’s loved someone enough to do anything for them (his son), but considering he’s dead, and possibly died in a really traumatizing way considering how it’s portrayed, that seems a bit...insensitive. :P

Bill counters it with, “Almost anything, maybe.” 

He then goes on to tell Henry he found a footprint in the stolen car.

And he just. Kind of. Gives Henry. A look. Because he knows exactly who stole the car, he just has to prove it.

Henry stops Bill and says: “A while back I remarked about how you had never solved the mine disaster. Perhaps if you and I get together, I might be able to help.”

Bill doesn’t say a THING...he just leaves. But he looks kind of...put off by the whole thing.

Like he knows what Henry is doing.

Do you know what Henry is doing?

Anything.

For someone he loves.

(Pst. That someone is Christopher.)

As soon as Bill is gone, he picks up a pair of shoes and throws them into the fire.

I think it’s pretty clear that Henry is using this mine disaster thing to protect Christopher, and he’s doing it for this reason WAY MORE than he’s doing it to come clean and be a better man. That’s just my theory, though. I think if Bill hadn’t found anything out about the car, then Henry wouldn’t have brought it up.

But I guess he knows something. The question is...what? And also, when did he mention Bill never having solved the mine disaster? I’m really struggling to remember Henry ever saying that to him, at least not recently. Does anyone recall offhand?

Anyway, I’m wondering if they’ll tie up that whole thing about Noah and Peter that was never addressed on the show to the fullest. You know, the whole thing with them going into the mine knowing it wasn’t safe and not warning anyone. I think a lot of people who watch this show have never been in poverty or lived paycheck to paycheck, but sometimes a person just has to put their head down and keep working even when it’s not safe, because they have to keep living. Or because they had more time to put a stop to things before anything bad happened.

I think blaming Noah and Peter as much as Henry is pretty stupid, but they still shoulder some blame. They were working to fix that problem. Henry wasn’t. He did what he was told and shut up. But maybe there’s a bit more to that story. Could be interesting.

Could also be the worst reveal ever, so...who knows? I’m curious to find out.

BUT ALSO what do they mean Bill didn’t solve that case? The widows sued and won. Sure, he got beat up in S1 carrying evidence out of the mine, but it’s not as if there wasn’t a lot more of it inside the mine, too. Everyone knows the fault of the collapse was due to working conditions being unsafe. What’s left to solve? Is Henry going to give Bill the names of the people who told Henry to keep his mouth shut? 

Or...are they talking NOT ABOUT THE HOPE VALLEY MINE DISASTER, but the original one that sent Henry to Coal Valley (and Nora into a marriage with Bill)? Because that one was not solved. The company just made Henry a scapegoat in that case.

THE WAIT TO FIND OUT MORE IS GOING TO BE TORTURE.

--

Pastor Position/Jesse and Clara + Cafe: I enjoyed Minnie in this episode and seeing her step in and help Clara and become part of the town was great. Jesse giving more credit to Joseph than Lee was pretty funny, and a nice set-up for Lee realizing that Joseph is a pastor. Lee is apparently head of the search committee to find a new pastor...which...sure...okay. Also apparently the newspaper died?? Uh.

I’m kind of hoping Rosemary’s new passion will be the newspaper since she’s supposedly going to dig her nose into things next episode and she used to write a column for the old paper (so she has some experience). Thoughts on that?

Anyway, Joseph agrees to pastor the church instantly the second Lee asks...so it feels weird that his original goal/plans/whatever just...don’t matter anymore? Okay.

They buy a bell.................WHICH BRINGS ME TO MY BIGGEST PETTY COMPLAINT OF THE EPISODE. BRO THAT BELL STRAIGHT UP LOOKS 3D PRINTED FJLKDSAHFLDSAHFLDSAHFKLDSA

Anyway I’m teasing. The Liberty Bell weighs a little over one ton, and two horses could easily pull that.

No complaints. My husband complained last week that there wasn’t a bell and now there is. It’s like he knew. 

Joseph talks about what a “calling” feels like (I think this will come back again with Rosemary which has me VERY HAPPY): a tug on his heart.

Joseph also tells Lee that the men in his yard earlier were surveyors and that he won’t move, at least not far, because he has a congregation to lead, now. Makes me wonder if he’ll actually sell!

Anyway, Jesse and Mike are cute pals and decide to have a snack in the cafe while the gals are socializing with Rosemary (who has just returned from the library).

Rosemary’s books are on land acquisitions, surveying, and territorial law. 

Minnie and Rosemary decide to talk about this while Clara leaves. Why? I’m not sure. Maybe just ‘cause it was boring lol.

She gets back as Mike and Jesse are talking about, uh, her, actually, and Mike asks if all is quiet on the homefront.

Yes, it is. Unlike the trenches of WWI.

But seriously I thought it could be a joke reference to “All Quiet on the Western Front”...a WWI novel. Since...you know...WWI is going on and hasn’t been acknowledged at all even though it’s almost over now.

Joke’s on me, though...that’s too advanced for Hallmark.

Anyway it’s only quiet for like two seconds, because Clara busts in, thinks they’re eating the food she’s been busting her ass over for the party, and yells at Jesse. It makes everything awkward. Jesse simpers about like a sad little clown instead of trying to be understanding. Yawn. Awful. Bye.

I don’t know what would fix that scene, but I think part of the problem is...I’m just not invested in Clara and Jesse anymore. It’s perfectly reasonable to expect them to need more time to get over the problems in their relationship but I don’t care about them enough to care about the journey...if that makes sense. I’d rather watch Bill dust for prints on the car some more.

They do have a chat, and work things out, so that’s good I guess.

--

Carson and Faith: Carson has officially stolen the dock from Abigail and Frank, and so my hatred for them doubled instantly.

Me, a territorial loon: THAT SPOT IS NOT YOURS!!!!! FIND YOUR OWN!!!

Anyway Carson makes things awkward and then busts out that he accepted the fellowship without talking to Faith.

She’s kind of hurt by this?? UNDERSTANDABLY?? But then he asks if it would have made a difference. I mean, common courtesy would be at least sitting down like this and telling her, “I’ve decided to accept it.” But no. He just. Accepted it without telling her he was going to. Bro...

They aren’t on the same page for even two seconds. He tells her he was committed to the relationship and put all his plans aside so that she could be happy.

Honestly, as much hate as Nathan’s getting right now, if people gave a damn about Faith I think Carson would be getting his fair share of hate, too. What a jerk???

He goes on to say it wasn’t a waste of his time (when she asks), but never bothers to tell her more or to prove he didn’t feel that way (BECAUSE HE SURE ACTS LIKE IT WAS A WASTE OF HIS TIME). He just says he hopes she changes her mind and comes with him to Baltimore.

At the party Carson and Faith go outside to talk where Carson admits that he should have told her he was accepting the fellowship before he wrote. She tells him that the year she was gone was almost too much time apart for her, and Carson promises to write her and tells her she can visit him, too, but she brings the conversation back to reality. They’ll both be super busy. 

He suggests they get married, and then immediately says he’s not asking (it’s not how he’d propose), but that they could look forward to getting married. (Good thing they laughed ‘cause I sure wasn’t. It was super awkward...) He suggests seeing how they feel in about a year. (Oh...perfect timing for...next season...hm.)

Faith tells him she loves him and wants what’s best for both of them, even if that thing isn’t them being together. They agree to just enjoy the night and worry about the rest later.

Anyway, I feel like these two just have NO chemistry (they’re worse than Bill and Molly in my books). I really appreciate the attempt to give them meaningful material, and I like that Carson has a passion again, but boy oh boy are these two hard to watch. The plotline is really good, but the characters just...aren’t great. I figured if anything they’d give a plot like this to AJ and Bill to tie that up (some kind of conflicting reason she can’t stay in Hope Valley to be written off the show for good) so I was surprised to see it going to Carson and Faith instead, but like...in a good way because it’s actually compelling for their situation! I've been in a similar situation and it feels REALLY BAD to like someone a lot but not be ready or willing to commit to an extreme for whatever reason. Faith doesn’t want to go to Baltimore because she loves Hope Valley and she undoubtedly doesn’t want to see it go without a doctor at all. Carson likes Hope Valley but his passion is in surgery and he can make a huge difference in a big hospital. He could still make a difference in Hope Valley, too (undoubted he’s the only surgeon for many miles around these smaller towns) but he also likes hospitals and their equipment and maybe misses what he had a long time ago.

So it’s a great plot. It’s compelling. It’s even a bit tragic when you think about it!

But my God do these characters just...not come off as convincing. :(

--

Mike and Fiona: The scene with Ned was SUPER cute. Genuinely funny. Mike asking Fiona out. Everyone teasing Mike about how much he likes her. It’s very cute and wholesome. So far I enjoy it a lot. There’s not a lot to talk about here but I like that it’s...simple.

I MEAN...she’s so cute.

--

END THOUGHTS:

I want the next three episodes right now immediately, but I’m also going to be pretty sad when this season ends...I think.

The biggest speculation from this episode, by the way, is that they’re opening things up to write Abigail back onto the show. How do we feel about that? 

Any other thoughts? Favorite scenes? Share!

[linkspooky]

Hi, I’m Link and it’s time to talk about my terrible / horrible / amazing taste in men. If you are a bastard who is planning to destroy the world because of your unresolved trauma, please call me. Kiss kiss.

Also I’m tagging @thyandrawrites​ and @inumaqi​ who by law have to do this with me. 

Shigaraki Tomura - MY HERO ACADEMIA

“What I really despise is everything. Everything that breathes pisses me off.”

I like how Shigaraki is severely mentally ill. He’s one of the most raw portrayals of an abuse victim.  He murders his abusive father, and the story takes his side. He develops violent tendencies, he refuses to grow up, he can’t forgive. He’s just holding all of his negative feelings inside of him as he slowly rots inside out, and that’s just great.

Shigaraki is so shaped and moulded by his abuse, but he still chooses who he wants to be. He was literally raised in a basement to be a carbon copy of AFO, and yet he’s so different from AFO it’s obvious he could never live up to his Sensei. He’s too bad of a person to ever be a hero, but he’s also too good of a person to ever be the king of evil and what you get is this really chaotic mess in between.

It’s interested to see who Shigaraki chooses to be, in spite of how much he has been indoctrinated towards a cause and how many choices are taken away from him. Despite being a character with supposedly little agency you can see he always tries to fight for his own agency. Don’t deny me. He can’t be with his family even though he loves them, because they’ll never accept him for who he is. Tenko was a kind boy who played with the bullied kids. Shigaraki fights for the people who would never be saved by hero society because he wasn’t saved. He gives them what he doesn’t have, freedom and a place to belong. It’s an interesting character to see how much of him has become the unpredictable ball of trauma that Shigaraki is, while the core of him Tenko still remains in his humanizing moments of how he interacts with the league. Shigaraki who has so many choices taken from him, chooses to reach out and sympathize with the feelings of others, especially those who have been ostracized the same way he has.

Shigaraki is introduced to us as an inhuman  monster, and we see him slowly work his way back from the edge. We see him regain his humanity by coming to care about the people under his wing. It gives you the message that there’s no such thing as a point of no return.

All of the heroes are good people in mha but that feels more like an informed character trait. We’re supposed to root for them because… they’re the heroes, they’re good. They have to look good because they’re the good guys. Shigaraki is allowed to be ugly and unlikable, he gets worse.  But then he still always chooses to fight for ugly victims like him. I like both sides of him, I like the volatile explosive bomb that just wants to blow up and destroy others, and the gentle way he interacts with the rest of the league.

Kumagawa Misogi - MEDAKA BOX

“I want to beat them. Even though I’m not cool, or strong, or just, or beautiful, or cute, or pretty, I want to beat the cool strong just beautiful cute and pretty people.”

Kumagawa is aggressively mediocre. He’s a good for nothing.  He’s like the embodiment of a bad victim,  he blames everyone else, he lashes out. He has nothing but flaws but he still strives to be better than what he is. That’s what so inspiring about his character. Even if you’re miserable it doesn’t mean you have to be having a miserable time about it. Kumagawa will push back against anything, even if the whole world is pushing down on his shoulders.

He has a vibe with his character that even if you’re the worst person in the world don’t run away from who you are. You have to accept yourself exactly as you are without lies or artifice before you can start to improve.  That’s why kumagawa tries to accept the ugliness of people.

He’s very sympathetic with other people, but that isn’t there to make him look like a good person. If anything he always sympathizes with the victim too much and encourages their worst qualities.  At the beginning of the series hes so desperate to heal the wounds of these traumatized, people he’s taken in he just encourages them to lash out because that’s something. Kumagawa is just this very nihilistic, and fatalist character who is somehow at the same time one of the most optimistic characters ever written. He’s a lazy good for nothing, but he tries hard. He’s fickle and childish, but he never gives up. He might never get better, he might always lose in the end, but he still thinks the struggle to win is always inherently worth it. He gives all of himself in everything he does, and to the people around him. And he always gets hurt because of it, but that pain is just living.

He’s completely insane but he’s also living his life the best way he can. There’s just such a manic, insane, and positive energy to his character. Kumagawa will accept you at your worst, and yet he’ll still encourage you to be better. I also like characters written to represent the ugliness in people, and striving to find beauty in that ugliness rather than characters who are just happy all the time because they’re good people.

Natsuki Subaru - RE ZERO

“You think I’m getting drunk on my own tragedy just so I can shut everyone up?”

like how Subaru is a shitty person but not in a really interesting way,  but in a really petty, self absorbed and weak way. I like it because the world doesn’t tolerate his bs, he is continually punished and kicked in the teeth for it. He doesn’t have a tragic backstory before the story begins. His tragic backstory is that he did nothing, made nothing of his life, but he still feels entitled and expects to be rewarded. There’s nothing special about him, but he wants to be treated like he’s special.

I’m usually protagonist-phobic because most stories center around the main character so a lot of the time the world bends to their whims in unnatural ways. Subaru is the main character, but hes not the protagonist, and not even particularly important which is why he’s valid.

Subaru is continually  punished for his mistakes and I love the way we see how trauma changes him and shapes him.  His narrative  reads to me as a metaphor for a mentally ill person with the absolute worst habits constantly struggling to be better despite constant backtracking. That’s why with the constant resets in his narrative, none of his actions ever seem to matter. Even when he makes progress he loses it just as quickly, and the world seems indifferent to his suffering. Because the stroy isn’t actually about the world, it’s about Subaru’s personal journey to learn to be a less shitty person.

Subaru is confronted with the fact that hes a very self important and entitled person and he chooses to grow from that rather than run away. He’s so self aware by this point he knows hes the most annoying human on earth and he owns it.

Doma - KIMETSU NO YAIBA

“From a young age I was kind and clever. I always helped people and made them happy, because that was my mission.”

Doma’s story is hard to empathize with because it doesn’t really look tragic. It’s more like a comedy. He’s smiling the whole way through.

Doma feels like an inhuman monster and he chooses to act that way. Literally everything in this story just tells you he was basically born that way. Doma tells you himself. But like, if you look into his background he was raised in a literal cult. Doma despises the cult, because he could see through it. He could see the adults were using him even as a child. But at the same time Doma’s heart has never really left the cult either. Doma, like everybody else, unintentionally reflects the environment he grew up in.

Doma’s just never been shown real tears or a real smile, so he doesn’t know it. He sees his parents kill each other in front of them, and feels nothing, because they literally never acted like parents to him once. He sees life as empty because to him, it is. And then.

By the time he encounters the real thing it’s too late for him. I just like this part of Doma that’s like, emptily trying to imitate all the other humans around him, and feel the things they feel, and always falling short because of his jacked up sense of empathy. It’s adorable.   Doma doesn’t feel human at all. He couldn’t possibly understand what a normal human being feels because he’s never lived that life. He’s a total human failure. Rather than try to be something he feels like he’s not, he decides to embrace his inhumanity.

Iichan - ZAREGOTO

“Nonsense.”

Iichan is a character who doesn’t want to choose, but wants to be chosen regardless. In other words Iichan has a paradoxical way of thinking about his life. He’s not the main character. He’s not important. So therefore, whatever happens around him he’s not at fault. However, he is the centerpiece of a tragedy. He’s still important in the sense that all of this tragic suffering is being unleashed upon him. Being the main character of the tragedy means his suffering is important and meaningful, but none of it is ever his fault, and he can’t help it.

That way he avoids ever having to take responsiblity for his actions, or do the hard work of trying to change as a person. He’s a narcicisst, but he hates himself, and he tries to balance out his total egoism by constantly playing up his own suffering and how much he loathes himself. That’s where the main character of the tragedy complex comes in.

What’s interesting about Iichan is that for all the tricks and avoidance he goes through, he’s very self aware as a character. He knows how deficient he is in comparison to others and how his problems really aren’t as important in the grand scheme of things. That’s why it’s interesting to watch all the mental gymnastics he goes through.

Knowing that the author also knows that Iichan is a tool, and clearly frames him as such, I can appreciate the more positive parts of his character. I can know that deep down, despite everything he does want to become a person that’s capable of making the other people in his life happy. He just doesn’t know how.

Hitoshiki Zerozaki - NINGEN

“What a riot.”

Iichan’s equal and opposite force. His boy on the other side of the mirror. What if your reflection in the mirror could talk, and what if it was laughing at you? That’s basically Zerozaki’s character in a nutshell.

Iichan is a character who dwells on his intense mediocrity and desires to be special because of it. Zerozaki is the opposite, he’s been special all of his life and has no idea what a normal life is even like.

Zerozaki is a murderer from a family of murderers and yet he doesn’t enjoy murder. He doesn’t feel its evil or feel a lot of remorse. He feels nothing at all about killing,  he thinks people who kill for pleasure are weird, and kills at random.

What I like about Zerozaki is that he’s way more human and down to earth than his perfect foil iichan even though he’s a murderer. Despite being a psycho killer he makes connections with other killers, his little sister, and ninoumiya. A human failure who’s way too human, and that somehow makes him even more of a failure.

Emiya Shirou / Heroic Spirit Emiya - FATE / STAY NIGHT.

“So as I pray. Unlimited Blade Works.”

Counterfeit. Hypocrite. Holy shit. A fake who knows that his desire to save people doesn’t come from the goodness of his heart, but his own selfish desire to be a hero. Shirou emiya is the only valid protagonist, because he’s an extremely traumatized deconstruction of every protagonist before him. Shirou’s not a good person. Shirou’s barely even a person. He has friends but he doesn’t really feel like he deserves to have them. He smiles, but he doesn’t mean it.

I love how Shirou is so terrible at handling his own trauma that he thinks having a strong sense of justice is a personality.  I love how Shirous need to sacrifice himself makes him an idiot and is something his narrative continually gruesomely punishes. He has one of the most brutal narratives ever, and the writing behind his character serves to highlight how Shirou’s bad decision making not only hurts himself, but literally everybody around him.

I love how Shirou has completely emptied out as a person and feels unable to feel basic emotions because its totally relatable.  He just copes so poorly, but at the same time there’s something beautiful in Shirous struggle to be a good person. Shirou has completely given up on himself as a person, but he still wants to help other people, and so he keeps trying.

Getou Suguru - JUJUTSU KAISEN

“I hate monkeys.”

Some villains just want to destroy everything for reasons deeply rooted to emotional trauma. I feel like I’m repeating myself here.

I like characters where empathy is a dangerous quality to have. Getou is driven to villainy because he cares, overwhelmingly so. He cares about people’s individual agency and freedom and rights to be happy and sees the world stomp on it. His breaking point was that he wanted a girl who had been raised as a literal human sacrifice for the system her entire life to be able to live out the rest of her life free as a person, and being completely powerless and unable to help her as she was killed. Getou was struck in that moment by the inherent unfairness in the world and it broke him.

Empathy is such a debilitating flaw for Getou that he literally has to decide certain people  are human and disqualify others from being human so his brain doesn’t completely break. Being a decent caring guy in Getous world breaks you.

Getou tries so hard not to care,  to be the maniacal laughing villain he claims to be, but his empathy is the one part of his brain he can never shut off. Even as the most hated man in the world he protects weak and exploited people and takes them in as a family. He does everything he does to make a better world for the people he cares about, and that’s why he’s so broken because the ones he doesn’t care about he’s completely fine with sacrificing en masse.

Akechi Goro - PERSONA 5

“JUSTICE?! RIGHTEOUS?! KEEP THAT SHIT TO YOURSELVES! YOU AND YOUR TEAMMATES PISS ME OFF!!”

I like Goro way more for his potential rather than what we see in canon, but there’s a lot of strong ideas his character is written with. I love the idea that Goro wants to be a good person, wants to be connected to others, but is far too dmaged and because of that

He can only pretend to be a good person and play people pleaser to others. he’s someone who desires at the core of his being to be righteous, and failing that he becomes self-righteous instead. I just love how thoroughly fake he is as a person, and how that makes him covet the real thing.

I also love the insane, twisted and obsessive part of Akechi. I love how much he hates the world for rejecting him, and how much of his actions are just petty revenge on the world, his father, every single person who rejected him. I love him when he’s at his most desperate, when he’s screaming at the people he’s trying to kill asking them why nobody wants him around even though he’s famous and popular.

Ogata Hyakunosuke - GOLDEN KAMUY

Walk your own wild path. Straight and true.

Ogata is a character that is somehow incredibly complex and nuanced character with tons of carefully written development in story, and also a character you have no fucking clue what’s going on in his head. Basically, Ogata is a masterpiece.

Ogata feels like the other half of the story. Sugimoto acts,  Ogata reacts.  Sugimoto chases, Ogata evades.  We are uncomfortably deep in Sugimotos head, but we only catch brief glimpses of Ogatas moments of Frank honesty. The entire story is about Sugimoto and Ogata chaisng after each other and everything else seems incidental sometime. Ogata’s not the main character, but he’s the other half of the heart of the narrative that’s about these really, really bad murderous men who are deeply broken trying to find a way to live in a world without war.

Its not that Ogata is unfeeling it’s that he never allows himself to feel. What other characters lost during the war, Ogata never had in the first place. He sees himself as deformed and malnourished compared to everybody else. Ogatas always been noticing the difference between - himself and others.Even if he wanted to love his brother he kept comparing himself to his father’s beloved son, and realizing how much he lacked. He just kept being reminded over and over again what a child who was loved could have turned out as.  Eventually Ogata convinced himself he was unfeeling. Because somehow that’s easier. He can process everything that happened in his life if he’s detached from it all watching from a tree somewhere.  He’s so repressed he doesn’t allow himself to feel guilt about his brothers death because he doesn’t view himself as a person capable of loving another. However, just like Sugis desire is to be saved from the hell of war deep down theres a kid in Ogata who wanted to be a good son

Ogata is basically my main point of investment in Golden Kamuy, I just want to see him unravel like a big ball of yarn.

[sourbat]

And Then-

Words: 2800

Rating: T

Pairing: Toki Wartooth/Magnus Hammersmith 

Summary: “Hammertooth, as told by the Dethklok Minute.”

There was nothing that could be done to completely vanquish the paranoia, even with the presence of half a dozen committed klokateers, so Toki knowingly made a point to always bring a disguise, to try and play it safe and drink one less bottle than normal, take one less hit than he preferred, because the last thing he wanted to do was prove Magnus’ fears correct. 

Toki was there the first time it happened. Worse, he was with the whole gang, reclining comfortably in the hot tub, finished giving Skwisgaar a high five, when Nathan flicked the television on, revealing  The Dethklok Minute host’s marred face.

“Today I bring you a blast from the past. We’re talking ancient history here, folks! Famed rhythm guitarist, Toki Wartooth, was recently seen chatting it up with none other than ex-Dethklok, and failed solo artist, Magnus Hammersmith. The two were seen causing quite the scene outside of the Griffith observatory, resulting in them being kicked out from the premises. Apparently, Hammersmith couldn’t handle the extra attention. Real shame, Hammersmith, it’s as close to the stars as you’ll ever get!”

They laughed when they saw the images, the brief video clip of Magnus angrily grabbing and tossing someone’s phone off the cliff, and the hilarious tweets shared by fans that all seemed to focus on how desperate and loathsome Magnus was in comparison to him. There was nothing he could say, whine or threaten to calm the rest of the band down. The day only grew progressively worse as he checked his phone, spotting new threads and comments on all the platforms he frequented, but not hearing a single word from Magnus.

He must have sent a dozen messages, and earned no reply until late at night, when news had reached every corner of the internet.

Thankfully, Magnus took it rather well, or as well as anyone with little to no say in the matter could. When they finally got together, Magnus was clearly upset, but he was more ashamed at himself for causing a huge scene and threatening a bunch of regular jack-offs for poking fun of him, mad for setting himself up for this disaster, and regretted that he pulled Toki and Dethklok into yet another one of his messes.

Once it was out, they discussed the next step. The public knew they were together in some form, but how much was still up in the air. Romance was currently out of the equation, or wasn’t suspected. Magnus treated it as a small relief; Toki, on the other hand, viewed it differently. The mean gossips centered on Magnus wouldn’t just go away if people continued to treat him as Toki’s inferior. If they came out not as competitors, but as partners, as equals, as a real couple…

When Toki raised the idea to Magnus, he spun it differently. They should come out now before the world figures it out on their own. Rip off the bandage on their own terms, and get the rumors done and over with.

The world was going to talk about them whether they liked it or not, so… why not try to have fun?

Why hide it and pretend they were only friends?  

“Welcome back to the Dethklok Minute! Toki Wartooth and Hammersmith were seen together exiting Club Rhapsody on Sunset Blvd. The two barely made it five steps before Mr. Wartooth was bombarded by fans. It took several klokateers shooting down crazed fans to get their claws off Toki Wartooth. Meanwhile, here’s an image of poor ol’ Hammersmith, left out in the dust.  Good thing he’s already used to it, though!”  

That time Magnus was pissed. He hadn’t even done anything that night, and was the soberer of the two. Sure, they were both piss-drunk, but Magnus had been reasonable enough to leave his keys behind, to tell Toki they needed to leave once it got too crowded, and tried being civil despite the crowds, their disguises slipping off, and people flashing lights in every direction just to say they were in the same club as Toki Wartooth.

Unless given the orders, the klokateers didn’t bother trying to protect Magnus, or shoo away fans who had nothing better than to accuse him of trying to latch on to fame, being a parasite, or an unsightly thorn in Toki’s side. The burden always fell on Toki. He had to be the one to grab Magnus and reel him in, remind him to count to ten, to hold his tongue, to try and be the better man despite the rumors and open remarks.

It didn’t take long for forums to pose the much-feared question, one Toki hadn’t regarded until Magnus very frustratingly pointed it out:

How far back do they go?

Then Toki understood Magnus’ fears. With discussions digging deeper into their pasts, Toki knew it would only be a matter of time before rumors of his disappearance resurfaced, and people connected whatever dots they wanted to reach their preferred conclusions. 

The following months proved too challenging.

He couldn’t blame Magnus for all those close calls. Toki didn’t blame him when Magnus eventually did snap, and lash out. Magus never laid a finger on him, but the yelling…the yelling and the misdirected rage terrified him.

It was Magnus who suggested the break.

Once again, Toki couldn’t bring himself to blame Magnus, even when everyone else at Mordhaus did.

The truth stung. The loneliness ached. The rumors persisted. Toki waited and watched the news, counting the weeks until the much-needed silence finally died down. It never did. Though the conversations decreased, there was never a point in time where comments online didn’t lead to Magnus, tweets or tags that brought up the name, and the terrible rumors surrounding their relationship persisted. It was the suckiest time of Toki’s life as he waited for Magnus’ return, for the world to get over this strange obsession, and for things to return to the way it was before.

Two months later, Magnus returned from the shadows on his own accord, and begged for Toki’s forgiveness and yet another chance at proving he could handle the unwanted attention, so long as it meant keeping Toki’s. Almost immediately after they reunited, the pictures and videos returned, but this time Magnus made a point to ignore it, to do his absolute best to take it all in stride and make the most of their limited time together.

Toki welcomed Magnus with open arms, more relieved than anything that Magnus didn’t give up on the two of them, and was willing to try and make this work.

“While on tour in England, fans caught glimpses of Toki and Mr. Hammersmith just outside of the Tower of London, harassing the local avian residents, and later caught pissing into the River Thames. Well, you know the saying: boys will be boys. In bigger news, Nathan Explosion played the lead role at The Globe’s recent…”

Then, one day, Magnus was no longer the main story. He wasn’t the butt of the joke. He wasn’t the focus of any folly that took place between them. Now Magnus had a title. Now he was just another one of the boys. Maybe not a member of Dethklok, but someone within the circle. A person who demanded some respect.  

It took several months, but Magnus was accepted as another regular figure in Toki’s life. Like Dr. Rockso, Magnus was treated less as a person of interest, a living target, and more a colorful object that Toki took alongside him to various places, adding to the curiosity and allure of their already complex relationship. Unlike the clown, though, the well of controversy had long since run dry, and nasty statements about the older man were quickly replaced with random jokes, silly rumors about Skwisgaar being replaced, and then–

Magnus started smiling, really smiling, again.

And then– 

“Today I bring you none other than our favorite buddy-duo: Toki Wartooth and Magnus Hammersmith! The two guitarists were seen sneaking out the back of Cruachan’s, carrying a wasted William Murderface before being accosted by some rapid fangirls. Luckily for them, Murderface was there to scare them away. Hey, Murderface, didn’t anyone tell you three is a crowd?”  

It was already a big enough deal that Toki convinced Murderface to join in, drink and talk with Magnus, maybe reconcile some past grudges and start afresh. Now people were curious to know why Magnus was so well-liked. In the eyes of the fans, Dethklok was reaching out to Magnus, which meant Magnus couldn’t possibly be that bad of a guy. The focus on Magnus returned, but with a different change in tone. He was Toki’s buddy. A mentor. A reliable father figure.

Magnus read each new role, and grew paranoid for the one that he knew would soon arise from the depths of internet forums.

Another month went by, then another, and after doing their best to avoid the media, to pay extra attention when making exchanges, their reprieve arrived in the form of funny jingles and images depicting the two of them as nothing short of the best of friends. The host of the show played it well, acting as though he never had a hand in spreading lies about them, and treated their nightly excursions, trips and secret dates as just another blurb in the  Dethklok Minute. But as nice as two friends hanging out was, it didn’t draw the same number of crowds as before, and after waiting and waiting, the focus on the two of them finally died.

Nobody cared that Toki hung out with Magnus, and were far more invested in Pickles’ massive pub crawl across Europe, the recent paternity trials of Skwisgaar, Nathan’s up-and-down relationship with Abigail, or Murderface’s failed MLM scheme.

And then–

“Welcome to the Dethklok minute! Uh-oh, Toki-oh! After a huge and successful performance in Japan, Toki Wartooth was seen inviting Magnus Hammersmith into the lobby of the famous Ningen Isu Hotel. But what’s this? Take a look at this!  Though the picture is of poor quality, fans speculate the two are holding hands in the photo…”

A slip up. After months of touring, bad reception and shitty planning on his part, Toki called Magnus over, and in their haste to reunite, were caught in the act.

And then…

“Breaking news! You will not believe your eyes!”

The very thing Magnus feared happened. Toki expected a strong reaction from Magnus. He expected the walls to crumble and the world to feel like it was ending. However, he could not predict just how negative a response he'd receive from his billions of fans. Knees tucked into his chest, Toki sullenly scrolled through the thousands of tags with awful slurs and insulting remarks, now all aimed at him. Fans demanded to know if he hit his head, if he enjoyed giving head, if he was always playing for both sides, if he spit or swallowed, if he even liked girls, if he was drunk when it happened, if it was consensual, if Toki was sure he didn’t like breasts, if he was ok, or if there was something wrong with his eyes because he could do  so  much better than Magnus Hammersmith.

Nathan and the others warned him this would happen, but Toki never believed it. The fans loved him. He could do no wrong.

But, once it was out–

“While most remain torn, a growing number of fans have openly voiced their support of the two…”

Once it was out, it was Magnus who snatched the phone out from Toki’s hand, taking and stowing it in some drawer where it couldn’t bother them before doing the same with Toki, and carrying him off into the night in his arms and telling him it wasn’t worth their time.

“…Send your vote to this number to determine the name of this new, controversial celebrity couple!”

Much like those slow, intimate touches that kept Toki distracted long through the night, the horrible things fans said came to pass. Not much longer, Magnus showed Toki how those same fans that had attacked him, that posted videos and memes making fun of their friendship, that spread rumors and doubt, that tested their patience, were all now sending hearts and their best wishes. There were pictures, both hand drawn and professionally done, hashtags and gifs and essays filled with nothing but off-putting support. Toki found familiar faces and names, avatars and posts from those he remembered directing horrible things his way, and now they were acting as though they never stopped believing in the two.

Toki logged off and debated taking a break from social media.

Magnus beckoned him back to comforting sheets. 

The initial shock came and went, and before long, all that was left was empty support and praise. Wholesome quotes and pretty rainbow flags that meant nothing to Toki, even less to Magnus, and fan songs and imagery that Toki blocked, only to later openly mocked with the only man who understood better than anyone else how pathetic and empty-brained most people were, and how quickly everyone forgets.

The band had little to say, but offered their indirect support by reminding Toki the jack-offs were more than likely jealous. Toki had everything in the world, Nathan later said. It didn’t matter that he left it at that, abruptly ending the conversation before Toki had a chance to really take it in and appreciate the shreds of a hidden apology underneath it all.  Everything in the world.  To think it included Magnus made the half-assed apology more heartfelt, and Toki had to stop himself from getting too close to Nathan and thanking him for taking his side, for being there, for listening, caring in his own way.

And, finally…

“… and in other news, the world’s favorite musical couple celebrated Toki Wartooth’s birthday in upstate New York. After celebrating at Mordhaus, Magnus and Toki decided to take advantage of the band’s extended work sabbatical, and take a vacation together… Next week, I give you a very special Dethklok exclusive, starring none other than the famous couple themselves!”   

With an outstretched hand, Magnus reached for the remote, turning off the television with a short, but aggressive jab on the power button before snatching his keys and turning to Toki, who remained peacefully reclined on top of the hotel bed.

“Ready?” Magnus asked, fixing one of many heavy rings he had on his person as Toki slipped off the bed, hastily running past him to locate his socks and boots for the long day ahead. Magnus fingered a rather hefty skull ring adorned with gaudy, but bright and pointed gemstones. “So, who’s doing what again?”

“I holds him down,” Toki replied as he worked the laces on his boots. “When I gives the words, I jumps across and holds him down.”

Magnus picked up his sunglasses, donning his disguise before casually making his way out of the bedroom. “Uh-huh. And what’s the word?”

“Hmmm.” Toki chewed his inner lip as he searched for a random enough word. “Cinnamon?”

“Cinnamon?”

“Yeps,” Toki replied, standing up and following Magnus. He grabbed a small box of medical bandages and gauze, still in a plastic bag that rested on top of a recently cracked crystal table, and shoved both into his already cluttered fanny pack.  

Magnus reached in, snatching the gauze and stowing it into one of his pockets, leaving more room for Toki to rearrange his things. “And you’re totally fine with me beating the ever-lasting shit out of him?” he asked, earning a mischievous little glance from the younger man. “All by myself?”

“Wells, I’ms gonna to gets him first,” Toki contentedly pointed out, and earned a snicker from Magnus when he dared to smile at the thought. “Ams doing half the works. Also, lets me wear some of the rings.”

“Fine, fine.” Magnus offered his fingers up to Toki, amused when the young man stopped and hovered and admired the large, heavy steel rings bought for the sole purpose of rearranging another man’s face. He raised a brown when he saw Toki reach for a devilish ring adorned with curled horns. “Not that one, I like that one.”

“Evens better.” Toki pulled the ring from Magnus’ middle, sticking out his tongue as he tried it on, along with a few others, before earning a slightly sarcastic look of approval from Magnus.

“Ready?” Magnus asked again, admittedly smitten by how well the ring suited Toki.

“Waits, I forgots my hat.”

Magnus headed to the door, taking his time, stopping briefly to admire the view from the window and take in the magnificent view, while also picking up on rushed footsteps hitting the floor, Toki nearly tripping over himself and putting on the last bit of his outfit, then claiming Magnus’ free hand as his, and yanking him close into a brief, but passionate kiss. 

“Let’s go,” he said after slowly pulling away, eyes locked on Magnus as he opened the door, ready to be led into the light.

[themonotonysyndrome]

The Holy Quintet in Twisted Wonderland! (all 7 dorms - Part 2)

Now we have Kyouko’s reaction to the other dorms! Sorry that it took a whole weekend to edit this.  

Hope you guys enjoyed it!

-

Sakura Kyouko & the other dorms (except Savanaclaw)

HEARTSLABYUL!

Bless Sayaka for warning Kyouko in advance about the many, many rules of the Heartslabyul dorm. Riddle’s collar would probably latch on her if the redhead girl walk into the dorm lounge, screaming for Sayaka. 

Now, before she was introduced to the seniors of Heartslabyul, Kyouko got to know Ace and Deuce. She easily got along with the two boys since they’re always around Sayaka. It didn’t take long before their trio to become a four member group and they can often be seen goofing off around campus and trouble usually follow after them. 

Kyouko loves going along Ace’s crazy plans. After they accidentally destroy a shelf full of potions in the Alchemy lab, Ace immediately suggest they burn down the lab so Divus won’t find out that it was them. Kyouko was ready to use her Soul Gem as a flamethrower if it weren’t for Deuce and Sayaka.

(Expect Kyouko and Ace to be detention buddies, often)

Deuce treats Kyouko just how his Mama raised him to treat any other girls! Though once in a while, he couldn’t help but drop a cauldron on her whenever she and Ace are up to no good. Luckily he and Sayaka are the ‘chiller’ of the duo.

Trey and Cater got to know Kyouko properly only after Riddle’s overblot episode (she wasn’t with them when Sayaka went all out trying to ‘save’ their Dorm Leader). After the ordeal, the two of them were very grateful that Kyouko was no where near Heartslabyul when it happened). Trey is relief that Kyouko took Riddle’s light chatises over how she eats and etc without a fuss, sometimes she would even tease him back. A good thing that Riddle is now more acceptable to friendly affections and interactions from others. Sometimes if Trey is working in the kitchen and Kyouko swings by at Heartslabyul, she’s his food tester and helps out with the more heavy labour when it comes to cooking. Kyouko loves it!

Now, she’s not very big on the whole social media thing so by right, she shouldn’t have anything in common with Cater. But I can see that she loves music apart from food. So learning that Cater is the guitarist and vocalist for the Light Music club got her really interested. She wonders if she can learn to play musical instruments too. As for Cater, well, he’s more than happy to teach her how to play the guitar (even encouraging her to join his club) and they tend to take selfies together.  

Seeing that Kyouko is genuine and serious about the Light Music club hurried him to introduce her to Kalim and Lilia. Kalim is more than happy to teach Kyouko what he knows too and Lilia always wanted to know more about Madoka’s friends. 

The result? Apparently joining the Light Music club is the first step for Kyouko to actually enjoy being a student for once in her life.  

OCTAVINELLE!

Listen, no one could’ve predicted how Kyouko would got herself entangled with the mermafias and the whole Octavinelle dorm, alright? 

See, while Kyouko just got out from the cafeteria - her arm holding a paper bag filled with food for herself, Ruggie and Jack back at their dorm - she caught a flash of pink walking by. Oh look, there’s Madoka! Alone and walking to meet up with Silver or Sebek, maybe. It’s so odd to see Madoka alone ever since they came to TW. 

Anyway, poor girl was completely oblivious to a 191CM tall boy rushing towards her with a maniacal girl, arms wide open.  

Kyouko is a more of ‘beat’em-now-and-think-later’ sort of girl. So please forgive her that the moment she intercepted the eel boy, her spear was already drawn out and proceeded to smacked him away - violently - like a baseball bat. Poor Floyd got the wind absolutely knocked out of him as he crashed to the Main Street. 

“What were you planning to do to Madoka, hah!?” 

Floyd could only whistle despite the pain flaring on his torso. So one of these pretty girls is super feisty, eh? He’s gonna have so much fun squeezing her!

Let’s just say the two got into a brawl that nearly destroyed the Main Street if it weren’t for Azul and Leona actually coming over and putting a stop to it. 

(Leona doesn’t appreciate having to interfere in someone’s else fight, not when their Brawler could give Floyd a run for his madols, but he really had to pulled Kyouko away before Savanaclaw gets in trouble with the headmaster)

(Azul actually can’t believe there’s someone that could beat his tanker. He thought that the other girls would be like Homura and Madoka; cautious yet gentle. Clearly these girls are an odd bunch! He would need to carefully reevaluate his plans involving them now)  

From that fight onwards, the two are constantly trying to beat the other once and for all. Floyd is living the life; finally a fun prey! For once, he needed to get creative. Squeezing doesn’t do much, not when Kyouko is just as strong and she could easily stab him with a turn of her large spear. She could dish out whatever attack his ‘Bind the Heart’ retaliate and quick on her feet against his elemental spells. 

Kyouko finds Floyd a crazy yet seriously strong student. She has no idea what his problem is, but no way in hell will she back down or show that he unnerved her. Seriously, there’s something wrong with that guy and it’s not just his mood swings. The whole mermafia trio is creepy. 

Jade wonders if his twin’s obsession with the Savanaclaw Brawler will end badly. Oh well, since the outcome is still murky, he’s fully planning to enjoy the show.

Jade will smirk whenever Kyouko scrutinised him. Clearly expecting him to behave like Floyd since they’re twins and all. It’s cute how he knew she wants to prod and poke him just to see if he’ll lose his composure and Jade appreciates that she holds herself back every time. 

While Floyd went on a very direct approach to ‘befriending’ Kyouko, Jade is a subtle and nothing but polite. Enticing her with the menus of Mostro Lounge, the colourful drinks they served and sweeten his offers with a promise that Floyd won’t try to pick a fight with her if she dines at their café. 

(Kyouko eventually caves in on the offer. Won’t you be too if Jade promise to cook you something?) 

Azul wishes there’s some way he could properly learn about these girls apart from observing them in classes or their interactions with their dorm mates. After that fight at the Main Street, he underestimates just how much of a threat these girls can be. Especially Kyouko. Fortunately, Jade told him all about his offers and practically everyone in college knows about her love of food so Azul just had to wait. 

The third Magical Girl to visit Monstro Lounge after Homura and Madoka’s tense dining experience is Kyouko. Azul is surprise to find her alone. He expects at least one of her friend to accompanied her. 

Nevertheless, Azul is quick to muster up his gentleman-like behaviour and silver tongue to try and charm the redhead girl. Or at least get her to trust him a little. Throughout her visit in the café, Kyouko hardly complain about his treatment. 

It’s only after she paid that she gets down to it. In a complete 180 turn, she asks Azul why he’s taking her for an idiot. That stumped the Dorm Leader of Octavinelle. 

Kyouko didn’t bother to minced words; she told him that prior coming to TW, she lives on the street; never having a home. So she sees a lot of... unsavoury people who try to take advantage of a young girl like her. How the conmen with their honeyed words and parental-like sympathy would want to ‘help’ her. Kyouko knows very well what would happen to naive girls living on the streets. They won’t last a night. 

And Azul? Azul is no different from those men the moment he smiled at her. Her words sting the octo-mer more than he would ever admit once Kyouko storms out of Mostro Lounge. 

The Leech Twins are even more fascinated by Kyouko now while Azul and Kyouko barely acknowledged each other’s existence. 

Kyouko has not step into the cafe ever since. 

SCARABIA!

As a favour that she was willing to do for Homura, Kyouko in the end decide to cash it in when it comes to school work. Those History and Summoning classes are tough! 

Since the aloof Magical Girl never invite any of the girls to her dorm, Kyouko decided to invite herself, unanounced. She always wanted to know what a dorm in a desert would look like. The sand soon irritates her after a while. 

The students all directed Kyouko to a spot in the lounge that they all unofficially dub as Homura’s comfort space. Underneath a tapestry of a beautiful queen famous for her thousand stories, there’s Homura in her little nest. 

Kyouko really doesn’t like Homura’s know-it-all attitude but for the sake of her homework, she grits her teeth as Homura explains again for certain subjects. The other students of Scarabia know not to disturb the girls. (words about Kyouko and Floyd’s fight quickly spread throughout college. So seeing her frustrated expression over her books were enough to drive away the Scarabia students).  

Except for Kalim, of course. 

The moment he and Jalim returned to Scarabia and a passing student mentioned that Homura has a guest, Kalim scurries off to meet up with them. Jamil follows after him in an exasperated pace. 

Having gotten used to Kalim’s random, cheerful outbursts, Homura went with the flow as the Dorm Leader introduce himself and let Kyouko talk with him. Seeing that the two were studying, Jamil suggest rather than throwing a feast for Kyouko, why not they study together and Jamil can cook something quick for them to snacked on. That got Kalim and Kyouko on board. 

With Kalim and Jamil between them, Kyouko and Homura kept their snark to a minimum level, to the point that Homura would actually smirk when Kyouko regale them of her misadventure with Ace, Deuce and Sayaka. Not long after, Kyouko begrudgingly throw a compliment about Homura, telling the two boys that although she might be stuck-up, Homura does know her stuff.  

(Perhaps there’s hope for these two girls)

Kalim totally vibes with Kyouko. He loves how spunky, confident and funny she is! He loves her quick hugs whenever they meet up and always accepts an apple from her. If Kyouko loves to eat, then Kalim can’t wait to cook for her. The next time he throws a party, Kyouko would be one of his guest of honour for sure!

The first time Jamil saw Kyouko sparring with her dorm mates, she instantly reminds him of a scorpion. How she would thrust her spears from behind and he watched as the weapon retracted and pull back so smoothly. Fast and brutal, it fits her. 

Compare to Homura, Jamil is internally grateful that Kyouko is such an open book. There’s no hidden meaning underneath her words, no need to feel like he’s squeezing blood out of a stone just to know something about her. As long as she’s not a threat to Kalim, Jamil honestly doesn’t care all that much about Kyouko.

Jamil is so used to cooking for a bunch of people at a drop of a hat because of Kalim and so he’s not too annoyed having to cook for Kyouko whenever she visits Scarabia. 

Jamil is also aware that Kyouko and their Scarabia Raven doesn’t have a good relationship but that’s none of his business.  

POMEFIORE!

If Heartslabyul was the first dorm that Kyouko is hesitant to visit, Pomefiore is the second. 

Unfortunately, Mami wasn’t feeling well that day and it’s up to Kyouko to send over her school notes since they shared most of their classes together. 

The moment she steps through the mirror and standing in front of the entrance of Pomefiore, she felt like a prey getting ready to be ambushed. 

The pretty boys of Pomefiore whispers how glossy her red hair is; what product does she use? Do you think she’ll share the brand with them? Look at how powerful and confident her posture is, yet you can still see her feminine curves hold nothing back! Some wonders what her beauty and skincare routine are to be able to look so beautiful despite being a student from that roughhousing Savanaclaw. 

Kyouko couldn’t help but shiver, her skin crawls when she heard the whispers. The boys are very eager to show her around their dorm but Kyouko awkwardly interrupted them. She’s just here to see Mami to pass her notes! Their insistent to help her out in every little thing creeps her out!

Her saviour came in the form of Epel Felmier. He remembers how awkward he felt after the sorting ceremony when the other Pomefiore students all crowd around him, praising him for his looks. So without hesitation, he slide in and loudly explain that Mami send him to pick her up. Kyouko is grateful for his intervention. 

You can bet Kyouko feel something like a bull in a fine china shop the moment they head to Mami’s bedroom. Everything look so shiny... and expensive!

Kyouko help recap what she could remember in class to Mami when she pass along her notes before telling that she doesn’t believe Mami could get sick. Since they became Magical Girls, they rarely became ill. Mami assured her that she overworked herself a little, trying to keep up with classes and training Madoka and Sayaka. 

(Yes, Vil had fussed over her when Mami told him this. He gave her a list that she must follow so she could resume her classes soon.)

In a rare gesture of thoughtfulness, Kyouko offer to take over their trainning while Mami rest up. This makes Mami very happy and when she express it, Kyouko scratch her head and look away, muttering that it’s only right. 

When she left Mami’s bedroom, Kyouko throws an apple to Epel as thanks for helping her out earlier. This startles the boy and it sparks their friendship. He promises to teach Kyouko how to carved apples when they hang out next time. 

Now, Kyouko likes to playfully tease Epel when he told her that he wanted to be sorted into Savanaclaw and that he wanted to grow some muscle. For all her teasings, she does invite him to her and Jack’s work out sessions. It makes him happy so why not? Just don’t tell Vil.  

Since Kyouko very rarely visit Pomefiore, Vil and Rook heard of her through Epel and Mami. Vil and her doesn’t see eye-to-eye due to their personalities being on the opposite end of the spectrum. Kyouko absolutely have no patience to be groomed or lecture by Vil and whenever he sees her arm-wrestling with the other boys, Vil just shook his head at the lost of such beauty.

It’s a shame, Vil thinks. Kyouko is beautiful in a way that a ruby with a powerful fire inside is, but she’s just too... all over the place to even listen on how to put on a concealer properly. 

Rooks finds her fiery spirit and compassion to her friends beautiful. Like a female warrior from Afterglow Savanna. It doesn’t let him down when Kyouko couldn’t appreciate him reciting a poetry that he wrote for her. At least the girl was kind enough to wait until he was finish before running off. 

(Rook heard of the infamous brawl at the Main Street, too. Despite not being a beastmen, perhaps Kyouko is worthy of a hunt!)  

IGNIHYDE!

Honestly, Kyouko actually forgot there’s seven dorms instead of six here at NRC. It’s not her fault that it totally slips her mind that Ignihyde exist! She hardly sees any students from that dorm around campus!

According to Ruggie, they’re the odd, shut-in types that rather spend their time with their techs than people. So a dorm full of shut-in nerds in Kyouko’s opinion. 

Her opinion on Ignihyde changes when she spotted this tiny, blue robotic thing flitting around the college. The moment she spotted Ortho, her interest and attention is immediately on him. 

At first, Kyouko doesn’t know what to make of him as he follows Ortho around curiously. Is he a toy? Some high-tech butler? Who made it? 

(Kyouko is no Rook. So Ortho is actually aware that there’s someone been tailing him for a while now, but he lets Kyouko do what she wants, thinking they’re playing some sort of game) 

In the end, Kyouko just laugh sheepishly when Ortho confront her, asking what game are they playing? She admits that she has never seen anything like him before back home. 

Ortho, off course, wasted no time telling the Magical Girl that his big brother made him, how cool he is, maybe they could all play together and etc. The more Kyouko got to know Ortho, the longer she sense that this boy actually has a soul! This is not a robot, it’s a living person!

Utterly fascinate now (plus Ortho thoroughly charm her with how much he talks about his older brother. Heh, her little sister used to bragged about Kyouko to her little friends too...)

Kyouko and Ortho become friends and despite how rough she can be, she always make sure to treat the boy gently. She won’t admit it, but she loves babysitting him and Cheka, bringing them around campus to play. Sometimes, when she sits on the bench and watch them pick flowers near the garden of Pomefiore, she could see her little sister playing amongst them too. 

Idia doesn’t really know all that much about Kyouko other than what he could find from his cameras and the bare-bone information from Homura. She’s strong. She often hangs out with those two boys from Heartslabyul and their Knight. She also possess one hell of an appetite. 

So the moment Ortho burst into his bedroom, shouting about befriending the redhead girl, Idia has somewhat mixed feeling about their friendship. 1 - he worries that she would accidentally hurt him (Ortho doesn’t exactly have sturdy frames to withstand the strength of a Savanaclaw student). 2 - he doesn’t think he could handle having another pretty girl hanging around their dorm without wanting to crawl under his bedsheets forever. 

He actually let out a relief sigh when Ortho told him that Kyouko won’t barged into Ignihyde if it makes him uncomfortable, but he hopes that Idia could play with them sometimes. 

Idia promises that he will try to spend some time with them after Ortho told him how gentle Kyouko treats him and Cheka. How attentive she is to their presence despite looking bored. 

In the end, Kyouko finds the Shroud brothers alright in her books. Idia might be the nerdiest of the bunch with a sweetheart of a little brother but she can respect a dude rocking out flames for hair. 

(Idia probably self-combut if he knows that Kyouko thinks he’s cool for a nerd)     

DIASOMNIA!

After she became a Savanaclaw student, Jack had onced told her that there’s beef between their dorm against Diasomnia. Something about how Diasomnia always beat them during the college’s inter-dorm tournament, yada yada yada. If those students from Diasomnia wanna spar sometime then she’s more than happy to kick their asses. 

While walking back to her bedroom, she overheard a tense argument between Sebek and Jack that it suddenly became a point of the two challenging on another. 

So an impromptu fight between the first year Savanaclaw and Diasomnia students are scheduled at the stadium on a Saturday night. No one really knows how the first year students kept the event hush-hush from the seniors or teachers but they managed to. 

When the day arrive, most of the first year students from every dorm came to watch the fight. 

Kyouko & Jack VS Sebek (& some random Diasomnia NPC). Madoka came as well but she doesn’t want to fight unless she absolutely has too and no one in Diasomnia has the heart to push their gentle Fairy. 

The fight was brutal as the rounds went on into the night. Heartslabyul students cheer for their friends while having picnics on the bleachers, Scarabia students are trying to use Astrology to predict the winners while working along with the Octavinelle students who are running the bets, some Pomefiore students complain at how barbaric and unnecessary violent these fights are but stick around to take selfies with their friends and a couple of extrovert Ignihyde students are livestreaming the entire thing and doing commentary. 

Homura, Sayaka and Mami are seated around Madoka. Sayaka cheer for Kyouko, of course. 

When it comes to her fight against Sebek with Jack beside her, she just told him that she’ll handle the nameless Diasomnia NPC and detached her spear to attack. 

It was amazing! Kyouko live for the rush and adrenaline of the fight! Looks like they were right - those Diasomnia folks are really strong! But other than strengths, can they keep up with her? 

Kyouko knocked the nameless Diasomnia NPC out of the ring just in time to see Sebek raised his Magic Pen to call forth his lightnings. She cast a ward-like dome on Jack. When the smoke cleared, her ward remain standing. 

“Sakura-san...”

“I get it, I get it. Beat his ass, Jack. I’ll cover for ya”

It’s almost easy, really. Jack and Sebek are evenly match and Kyouko kept her promise, only lingering away from the fight. 

Funny enough, in the end, neither dorm wins when the collision of Jack’s fireball and Sebek’s lightning ray knock them both out of the ring. Even still, the audience cheer and instead of going back to their respective dorms, they actually gathered around and have a mini-party. Even the Pomefiore students were having fun.   

With good food and drinks, the tension between Diasomnia and Savanaclaw disappear eventually. At least for tonight. 

(the headmaster blows it when it was reported that the stadium is totally trashed. After that, news about that fight spread because of the livestreams. As punishment, the Savanaclaw and Diasomnia are tasked to fix the stadium. Much to the surprise of Leona and Malleus who were supervising the whole thing, their dorm mates are laughing and playfully shoving each other on the shoulders as they fix around the field.)

Malleus caught Sebek furiously practising with his sword and magic in the training hall of their dorm one day, his knight flustered and explain how masterful Kyouko wields her spear. He caught her deftly strike away every clash of the sword from the nameless NPC without breaking a sweat. It also infuriates Sebek that after knocking her opponent out of the battle, she easily snap her fingers and cast multiple powerful spells to shield Jack from his more deadly attacks. 

The way how Kyouko wield her magic and weapon simultaneously without exerting herself had Sebek begrudgingly respect her. 

When Madoka invited Malleus to her and Kyouko’s ice-cream trip, Malleus learn a little more about the Savanaclaw Brawler. She’s blunt, brash and doesn’t seem to be put off by him which is good. Though she completely steam-rolled his brooding murmurs. She admits that she doesn’t understand his fascination with gargoyles, but assures him that if they make him happy, then by all means, talk away! 

Lilia find the fire of youths’ as well as their bout of recklessness refreshing. They make him feel younger. When he spotted how Kyouko’s charisma boost Madoka’s courage and confidence little by little, Lilia likens Kyouko to a fire that not only burn enemies to ash but is also a hearth that warms one’s home. At least for these young girls. 

Like the rest of the students in NRC, Lilia has heard and seen the fight online. Kyouko’s battle was certainly impressive! In fact, it’s a good idea to have Sebek and Silver expand their sparring opponents so they could learn a thing or two. Especially from these girls. 

Silver finds the whole secret fight pointless, but since Sebek felt so passionate at the time and it’s be done with, there’s nothing else he could add. He agrees with Lilia; it’d be nice if he could clash his sword against Kyouko’s spear. He finds the weapon’s ability to attached and detached at will fascinating. How does it work? What is its range? How big can Kyouko make them? How many can she summon them at once?  

Kyouko agreed to spar with them sometimes if they paid her in food. Silver and Sebek hurried to stop Lilia from rushing to the kitchen when they heard her offer. Although Lilia pouts, the Vice Dorm Leader can easily fulfil their end of the bargain. So whenever they finish sparring, they would all sit down and munch on snacks and drinks.

After sparring for a couple of times, Kyouko finds that Sebek is actually alright. He’s just so loud and can be so passionate when it comes to Malleus. Cue teasing from Kyouko and trying to make Sebek blush whenever they hang out together. As for Silver, well, Kyouko wishes she has his ability to nap whenever and wherever without a care. Lilia is hard for Kyouko to figured out (just like Jade), but she does know that Lilia is genuine with his friendliness so she appreciates that. 

All in all, the Diasomnia boys are the morbid sort of weirdness in Kyouko’s opnion, but pretty chill for the most powerful dorm of NRC.

And beside, it’s pretty funny to see them running around their dorm trying to figure out how to do their laundries or where their Dorm Leader is.         

-

Alright, that’s a wrap for Kyouko’s part! Sorry again for the delay. This was supposed to be out in the weekend. 

[mwolf0epsilon]

For the Post Studio AU, what was the hardest part of escaping the studio? For everyone? Like, recovery wise, what's the hardest part for the inky Joey Drew Studios crew?

Oof, where to start with this one... I'm gonna set a few exceptions aside that didn't end up in the Cycle but that were still affected by the studio's descent into madness.

Henry Stein - Being a war veteran Henry was already dealing with PTSD and his old injuries, so being stuck in the studio for five long years repeating the same thing over and over, reopened a few psychological wounds he was working through. Coping with double the survivor's guilt isn't easy, especially when he lays awake at night wondering if he could have stopped Joey if he'd just stayed, but Henry is a stubborn son of a gun. He finds ways to march on and does his best to help everyone else.

Sammy Lawrence - The sacrificial cult murders are hard for him to forgive himself for. He's resentful of his own shattered mind, and is stuck in his own personal loop of being unsure of who he is. Surely he's not Sammy Lawrence anymore, nor does he fit the bill of Prophet. When he ends up spitting up the ink that forms Andy (aka Wanderer/Wandering Sin Bendy) he also ends up with a new hurdle to deal with, which is this mischievous cartoon that looks like a character he absolutely loathes, but who is connected to him in a way he might dare say is more like a parent-child relationship than god-subject. Needless to say Sammy needs time and a little bit of affection to bring down the self-loathing walls he's slowly built up. Once he's learned to reach out to others for help instead of being a prideful mule, he'll finally be able to start mending himself.

Jack Fain - He honestly believed he'd never see his husband again, and that nearly broke him. Then when Henry and Linda managed to contact him, Jack was instead afraid that he'd be rejected because he wasn't human anymore. Jack's insecurities made it hard for him to heal and work his way up back into a semblance of humanity, after all who'd ever be able to love a lump of ink that smells like your bathroom plumbing? Thankfully he was wrong and his husband was more than willing to welcome him back into his life. They have 20 years worth of grief and longing to work through.

Susie Campbell - It takes a while for Susie to forgive herself for what Alice had done in the studio (what she'd allowed her to do). But unlike many of the others she can't afford to sit still. As one of the more humanoid survivors she is tasked with helping Allison with groceries and, as such, is confronted with 20 years worth of change. Once she has time for herself she spends it in introspective silence or straight up just writes about it. She ends up uncovering a talent for literature and becomes a self-made successful "fiction" author. Her specialty? Sci-fi horror.

Norman Polk - Norman's life is a living hell even as he is rescued. He's lucid most of the time but (if provoked) he can easily switch back to being a feral mess. The silence is also suffocating to him, so he gets incredibly antsy if there isn't much happening. Combating his wanderlust is difficult so he coped by walking in the woods, often getting lost unless he's accompanied (which is a rule Henry immediately sets up). The most he does at first is to sleep all day and walk all night. Once he gains more of his self-control however, things begin to look up for him. It helps to have an emotional support dog that can keep up with him, as well as having people in his life that treat him like a person still. His little cartoon "child" also brings out the more tender side of his less lucid state of mind.

Allison Pendle - Like Susie she has little time to sit around and wallow. She has many responsibilities and as such is always busy. The only time she has to think and let herself cry is when she's in bed. Thankfully Tom is there for her, even if he can't talk anymore. Being held is enough for her though.

Thomas Connors - At first he's furious at being stuck as a mute cartoon wolf. He feels useless being unable to get a job and help provide for the cabin, and sitting around twiddling his thumbs was never something he liked doing. The only way he has to cope is helping Lacie figure out how to sort out Bertrum's situation, try to find a way to fix Norman's speaker and hearing, as well as keeping an eye on everyone when Allison and Susie leave to go into town. Running outside like an unbound dog alongside Buddy also helps. Freedom and exercise go well together in keeping him nice and active.

Shawn Flynn - He is incredibly frustrated about his size and lack of speech. He used to be a very loud and boisterous man, so being rendered a giant mute unable to convey his thoughts in a meaningful (albeit crude) manner makes him feel a bit isolated. His size also makes it difficult for him to get back into toy-making, but he'll be damned if he doesn't have at least one thing to do with his hands. Most of the time he spends hanging out with Grant who needs a little bit of supervision. He hopes his company helps the depressed mess his dearest friend has become.

Grant Cohen - There's a lot going on in his head, so most days are spent laying around just sleeping. He has very little motivation to do anything, and mostly only trusts Edvard (the Edgar clone that has a piece of his soul) and Shawn. His best days are spent reading or even listening to the radio. That's enough proof that he's unwell but at least coping in his own way. His is very slow progress, but still progress.

Buddy Lewek - He misses his family dearly, and it was hard having to accept he's never going to be a productive member of society, much less see the changes of a progressing civilization. Still Buddy is young. He finds things to busy himself with, enjoys being able to live free and without fear, and still practices his drawing with great gusto (even if he never quite gets Bendy's head right). He won't admit it but running wild like a rowdy pup is actually quite nice. He illustrates Susie's novels.

Abby Lambert - She was in very bad shape like Grant, depressed and suicidal, but was lucky enough to be reunited with her family early on. The occasional letter she sends shows she's doing well and getting better each time a new letter arrives. She feels a little bad that not everyone is as fortunate as her to have the support of their loved ones... Some don't have families to return to at all and that just doesn't sit right with her.

Bertrum Piedmont - Hates life a little less with each attempt Lacie makes at improving his living conditions. Being a stationary amusement park ride takes a toll on one's sanity, so it's normal that Bertrum is incredibly antisocial at first. Fortunately he's slowly warmed up to everyone as time goes on, and the one thing that bothers him is being unable to show his appreciation for the stubborn idiots who keep trying to help him. Inadequacy is a bitch to someone who's used to giving his all.

Lacie Benton - She's a living animatronic and she hates it, but now that she's not immobilized and that Tom built her a new arm, she can actually move on with her life and try to sort the real issues. Starting with Bertrum and Norman who definitely need a bit of refurbishing to live a better life. Surprisingly Bertrum is easier to sort out than Norman, who gets just a little too upset when she touches his speaker or wires...

Emma LaMonte - Like Jack and Abby she got lucky enough to go back to her family. Being as determined as she is, she also managed to regain her human form pretty quickly. Her perfectionist nature may have made her difficult most of the time, but now it's certainly worked in her favor. The one thing that she can't cope with is the memory of once having no legs to speak of... It chills her, the thought she'd never be able to dance again.

The Ink Demon - Binky needs to learn how to people and that in itself is already hard. Learning to cope with the monstrous things he did to everyone else is a whole new can of worms... Luckily the toons seem to like him a lot. It helps to not be cast aside. Henry also makes an effort to teach him as best he can, and show him the affection and understanding that Joey never did.

-

Joey Drew - Fled the country once he realized Henry broke the cycle. Can't deal with the fact he was wrong and that his life's work amounted to nothing, so he avoids dealing with it altogether. He's a wanted man, not by the law but by Henry's own righteous fury and desire for justice, as well as Linda's protective rage over her husband.

Wally Franks - He's the one that got away, so he carries a lot of survivor's guilt on his shoulders. Wishes he'd been able to help in the past, so once Henry contacts him for help finding everyone's families he jumps at the opportunity to do right by his old coworkers. He's the one who gets Norman a dog that wouldn't just flee from him, and he'll donate funds to keep the cabin afloat whenever things aren't doing so good. He visits a lot too.

Dot - She couldn't believe that the people she was sure as hell were dead actually survived Drew's madhouse of a studio. She had to pinch herself when she reunited with them however, because she wasn't expecting... Well... This... She feels responsible for Buddy being stuck as he is because she couldn't save him and instead saved herself. She's taken it upon herself to locate Joey and expose his monstrous actions.

Linda Stein - Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. This lady was not scorned by her husband, but she sure has a bone to pick with Mr. Drew. Luckily for her, Henry feels just as vindictive as she when it comes to Joey's obscene cruelty. Linda does her best to help everyone at the cabin, and gives her all in helping her husband through listening to the things he dare not tell his therapist... Needless to say she's heartbroken that her beloved had to go through two separate hells only to be expected to move on once he got out...

[theblackbirdsgemimagines]

May I request for the Leona, Vil, Azul and our boy Jack getting stuck in their MC's world and their experience? (MC is with them)

Oh sweet Jesus akdhakdhsk FORGIVE ME OF MY RATHER CYNICAL OUTLOOK ON OUR LIL BLUE PLANET 😬 I think it’s understandable to be more cynical than ever in this Hell Year, lolll

Send these poor, sweet babies back home, they deserve better than to be stuck here of all places 😅 ESPECIALLY JACK AAAAAA SAVE THE BABY 💔

Ok, not even going to play with you... Vil would thrive, lol.

Just give him time enough to stop panicking over all his lost clothes, magic, etc., and find new things that works for him and his detailed self-care routine, and whatever he chooses to do, he will make Fat Stacks in.

He’s the male version of Belle Delphine, here ajdhakdhsj

He appears anywhere, on tv with some company to continue his performer career he had back home, or on youtube/instagram, and he is almost immediately just as famous here as he was in Wonderland.

Can we really blame anyone, tho? Look at him.

And there’s no Neige here!

Also, ‘my’ Vil is definitely the one that knows there are many different ways to be beautiful~. He may be a bit more blunt to his friends if he thinks they’re not quite hitting the usual mark their talents place them in. But that’s only because he cares about them, and wants everyone to see their best, as he does~. He’s an absolutely encouraging sweetheart to anyone else/a beginner at whatever their passion is, though~. And either way, he’s your best cheerleader~.

Of course he still just doesn’t feel himself without his magic, or ability to do potions. I don’t think he’d find the witchcraft in our world would suit him very well.

If he was really stuck for good, of course he’d make the best of it. But if he could go home, especially if you wanted to go back with him, he’d jump at the chance. And always be on the lookout for the chance.

But that being said, I think, aside from all the world’s problems, of course, he’d find it interesting just how similar, and vastly different, things are here.

He donates Ass Loads to so many charities, like honestly.

Rich boy knows his privilege, and lets others ride off his advantages as much as he can. 💜

He becomes friends with James Charles. You know he does.

You can’t be truly fully beautiful if you’re not also lovely on the inside, too, after all~!

Rip Rook wherver he is, he is lost without his Queen 😔

Gosh, in direct contrast to Vil, Leona probably suffers the most over here?? Jahdkshdj

I know they based his sleep habits off a irl lion, but that also sounds just a Tad Bit like possible depression to me (along with a lot of the other ways he’s behaved so far, lol).

Get this sweetheart to some therapy, maybe?? Help him get a lil energy boost at least to help him feel better 💛

He’s going to HATE the work pace people have to maintain just to eat here, 100%.

He enjoys the entertainment the most, though~. Video games, things you can watch online, all those sorts of things~. Might like a few of our sports, too~.

Poor bby struggles with having to work, though, please help him 💔

At least he doesn’t have to live under being Forever Prince, here, and doesn’t have to worry about turning anything he touches to sand. And the lions in the zoos are pretty cool to go see~!

He’d probably love it if he could go to Africa and see what our “Afterglow Savannah” looks like here~. Meet the lions that are in the wild~.

I imagine he and Jack would both lose the ears for human ones, and the tails, too. (😢💔) So he probably feels weird seeing himself like that, and might miss his tail. Especially if it helped him with balance. Give him some time to adjust to it~. There’s these neat new tails people made for cosplay, that can move around on their own, if he’d like one to help him not miss his old one so much~!

I had to really think about what the heck he’d even do for a job, cause he’s so grumpy to everyone, retail’s just OUT, lol. And I don’t think he’d be that great at something like youtube, either ajdhsjjd

It’s hard for him to not just lay around all lazy, rather than think of stuff to do for it/actually get up and go do it. Let alone all the meetings, and interacting with fans, and the like.

So maybe actually being one of the zookeepers would be a good fit for him~. He’d be obligated to actually go, and he’d get to be around lots of different animals~. Might help him feel more at home, too~. I think he’d be pretty good at it, and the animals would probably be drawn to him~ 💛

He’d also absolutely challenge the authority here (or anywhere else that has appalling governments, especially if they’re not run by women). The state of things, and the way women and minorities are treated by white men around the world, and men in general, would absolutely appall him. He so drunk on that respecc women juice, he just can’t wrap his head around what the hell the problem is with those rich assholes in power. Put him in power, and he’ll ruthlessly show them what-for! ALL the others behind him would be women! Good grief, humans!

All in all, he doesn’t mind it here, but would also prefer to be home, where he can sleep more, and Ruggie can run around for him most of the time, lol

Besides, that allowed him to spend more time with you~! 💛

(LOOKIT THAT HAPPY BOY SMILE!!! I’M DEAD 💞💞💞)

Oh, Jack. Sweet, sweet Jack.

He absolutely becomes a personal trainer as a job, here. 1000%. He lives that Exercise Junkie Lifestyle, there’s just no doubt about it.

He’s VERY encouraging to his students, though~! Build up that beef, guys, he has total faith in you~! 🤍🤍

He absolutely loooooooves going anywhere to see wolves. He’d probably really love the wooded mountains in Europe, if you ended up there, or in Oregon/Washington if you ended up here in America~. Definitely Canada, or Alaska, too~! Just give him huge trees, snowy winters, and nearby mountains, and he feels right at home~.

Idk if he’d miss his magic a whole heck of a lot, tbh?? But he WOULD miss his friends and family! It’s just not quite the same here, though he thinks it’s beautiful and interesting to see where you came from~. 🤍

He’s a good boy 😭

Also appalled with the state of so many rulers and governings both in your home, and around most of the world, lol.

He can’t stand seeing so many people suffer like that! How can they possibly live the life that’s the most healthy and happy for them to live, disabled, chronically ill, or not, if they’re suffering under an iron fist all the time?!

He CAN’T stand for it. You won’t stop him till he sees good change starting to finally happen. Especially if you live here! There’s no way he can just sit around and have you be subjected to that!

HE’S A GOOD BOY 😭

You gotta calm him down a lot and remind him there are others just as good and kind as he is, fighting to change things too 🤍

God help people if he gets here anytime within 2020-2021. He’s sucker punching nearly everyone he sees without a mask.

He’s also sucker punching every nazi he sees, too.

My goodness, please show him the movie Wolf Children! He’ll hide the fact he’s crying multiple times through it, but it’s one of his favorite movies here~.

If you do manage to go back to Wonderland, please try to bring a copy of it with you. It’s the one thing he’ll miss most, and keep asking to watch with you again, before remembering it doesn’t exist there. 😭

He also misses his tail and ears a lot. Losing all of that + his senses would be very a very awkward adjustment for him, and he wouldn’t really like it poor bby 💔 Give him lots of hugs to compensate U-U 🤍

His favorite thing to do with you would probably be to go hiking, and stay in a little cabin in the woods, for a week or two~. Somewhere in one of the previously mentioned places~.

(I couldn’t find a chibi gif of Azul to use, rip 😭)

Azul is just straight up becoming a mafia boss, probably wkdhakdjjs.

He’s the ‘good’ kind, though. He’s learned his lesson since his overblot, and he won’t outright kill people for not paying him back, or introduce drugs, or anything like that.

He’ll help people obtain what they want as legally as possible... But that doesn’t mean he still won’t be sly as hell about it, haha~.

He’ll protect loyal/good customers and the areas they live in, too~. In fact, he’d probably reDUCE crime from doing so.

He just learns all the dirty ins and outs of everything about how things run here. And as much as he’ll fight for change as the others would, because there’s no way any of that is an acceptable way for you to live, he’ll work dirty in order to take advantage of the system, to do so. What better way, right? Make the dominos fall from the inside out.

He’s a good business man, he knows doing so would also benefit him, too.

He’s like Bruce Wayne if Bruce Wayne was a rich mafia leader jeehskdje

Need health benefits to work for him? Covered. Need above-average pay to actually afford your bills and other stuff? Covered. Need education to do a job for him? They’ll train you.

He’s also practically a Gordon Ramsey, tbh. Lots of his bars will pop up across the world, if he stays here long enough, lol. But they’ll all help a good number of people, in doing so~.

He also donates as much as he can, too. If he’s gonna become even a fraction as rich as Jeff Bozos, he’s ending world hunger and homelessness every year.

And boy oh BOY will he swindle the rich akdhakdhwj

He will whip them so hard, they won’t know what the hell hit them.

He may have been under restrictions at the college, but he sure as hell isn’t here. Watch out as he spreads his tentacles wings.

And, of course, he adores being anywhere near the coast. Doesn’t matter what part of the world you’re in, he just needs to be by the sea.

All the polution absolutely breaks his sweet little heart, and that’s one of the first things on his list to fix. Dealing with trash back home was much easier... you could just zap it all away at big trash fields. But you don’t have that luxury here.

Being that he doesn’t really like his ocotpus form (bbyyyyyy 😢💔), he probably doesn’t mind the permanent legs. At least he doesn’t have to constantly take a potion to keep them, anymore.

But it’s still awkward to get used to. And he can’t stand that he can’t breathe underwater anymore, or go too far down without dying from the pressure.

He’ll dive as often as he can~. And loves to dive, or snorkle, or just swim~, with you, if you want to join him~.

He does miss his home, if only for the beauty and familiarity it had, despite a lot of bad memories around it. But there’s no doubt he’d thrive here, in a way only he could~.

He totally believes your own version of mermaids exists, and gets excited over anything that could prove it to be true 😅

Plus, he’s just obsessed with how marine life works here in general~. If he can juggle being a freakin maffia boss, and a marine biologist just out of the pure love for it, I have no doubt he’d do it~.

Humans most likely evolved from creatures in the water?? That’s amazing~! So the ocean feels like a distant memory of a second home~! He’d love to bond over that, the romantic~ 💜

[crowleygal]

Dean and the Writers

Why do the writers always target Dean with being the bad guy? Seriously, I want to know. First, Davy Perez bought and gassed up that bus and aimed it straight at Dean. They made him lie to Amara. But given the nature of the storyline, God wants to destroy the entire planet. To stop God they also have to stop Amara. They can't just suddenly decide to lock up God because that makes Sam look bad that he bought into God's lies that it destroyed the balance. Either Sam was easily manipulated or Amara doesn't get a choice. She has to be on boaard whether she liked it or not. Otherwise the planet is dead. No way the show is going to send that message about 'Chief' so lets get make Dean the bad guy by refusing to mention or remind the auidence that there is no option but for Amara to be on board and they have to secrure her cooperation by any means necessry but can't remind fans of that. Then Dabb's assistant shoved Dean into traffic, with the whole lying to Sam thing. Not to mention teen Dean's treatment of ppor wooby Sammy. The secret wasn't even that big. Dean said just the week before that a sacrifice would be required and when isn't one but at least it wasn't them. Who do you think he was talking about Sam? Sam is so wishy washy he makes a token objection but refuses to take a stand. Its not like he was bending over backward to find another way. The secret Dean held onto for what a day or two changed absolutely nothing. They also bring out that old tired, 'Dean doesn't trust San argument as justification for the lie. It why the show framed it as Dean somehow making this major revelation and being meen to Sam. Then they had Dean get angry and yell and make selfish statements about how he wants off the hampster wheel. Conviently forgetting to mention that destroying Chuck also saves 6+ billion people. Then Sam totally over reacts but no one really cares becasue they can cheer Sam on because the writing once again framed Dean as in the wrong. Even though Sam could have taken a stance any time he wanted. (Sam with Cas. he was bragging to Dean just a few weeks ago about Jack being a weapon). Then we have Glynn who scored a direct hit this week. Despite, just a few eps ago we had Dean say he was trying to forgive Jack and baking him birthday cakes, they had him shout Dean wasn't family. She had to know the reaction that was getting from the fandom. To back that bus over him some more, of course Jack over hears. Dean pulling a gun on Sam and cocking it. Punching and head butting Sam. That ice cold speech he made to Jack in the car. But nothing once again about the fate of the world being at stake. Then we have Cas and Sam polishing each other's halos when their motivation is just as selfish as Deans'. Sam wants to save his girlfriend and Cas wants to save Jack. Okay, I get that, but at the same time they have no alternative and Chuck can squash them like a bug any time he wants. Sam and Cas are risking 6 billion+ peopple to safe a few. The writing frames this as Sam and Cas being morally right while Dean is wrong. WHen they are literally all doing this for personal gain. Berens is the worst of all when it comes to Dean hate. Dean hate has gone expontially since Mary died. Dean (and Sam) should be the victims here, not Cas and most certainly not Jack. But every controversial deciion that came up the show made Dean do it. (More wishy washy Sam over the Malak box. He made a token objection but took no real stand). But the show realized it went to far and Jack couldn't be this pure innocent soul after killing Mary so he did the next best thing. He shifted blame by having Dean annouce Cas was dead to him. Now suddenly the audience is made at Dean (WHich is what Berens wanted). Then instead of letting Dean be rightfully angry at Cas for lying about the snake, they had Cas flounce and act like the injured party and then validated Cas's actions by having Dean grovel on his knees. (Once again proving my point, because Dean kept a very minor secret for a day or two and got yelled at. Cas kept a secret that lead to Mary's death but yet Dean is still public enemy number one in the fandom. ) So I'm honestly and truly wondering, why do the writers feel this need to frame Dean in such a negative light while they keep framing Sam and Cas in a postitive one for the exact same actions. (Lying, secret keeping, and selfish motivations). What makes all this worse that the there is no time to build the character back up. When to they start showing us al lthe traits Dean had before Dabb took over. Dean's heart, his compassion, his ability to think outisde the box, his never say die attitude. How can people say Dean has had character growth when he only became this angry bitter person after Mary's death This week they seem determined to heap more grief and guilt on Dean. There is basically 1 ep left and that will be some big battle that I'm sure they will give the "lets all be friends" speech to Sam. I ask again when do they build Dean up? There is more to "character growth" then just pointing out flaws. This is why I'm dreading the next ep. Im fully expecting Berens to keep reversing that bus to run over Dean again and somemore After all if he is killing Cas he won't want the audience made at him. He'll want to shift blame and make it Dean's fault. I'm expecting Dean to come up the plan, insist on it, despite objections and it all goes wrong and Cas has to sacrifice himself to bail them out and everyone can be mad at Dean again. Why did the writers think that this character who is beloved by so many would be okay with them trashing the character this way right at the end, so that Dean isn't remembered as the complex, layered 3-D character, but a selfish, bitter and angry person. That isnt' character growth. Its character destruction. No wonder Jensen was so concered about Dean's legacy and said he would change how they got to the final episode. No wonder he mentioned specifically a 6 episode renewal on a streaming service. (Kind of specific and take on a whole new meaning with Jensen's produciton company. This post is strictly about the writers and how they are framing Dean. So please don't say well "its different when its (any other character here) because (insert reason here). Its just proving my point the the writers treat Dean differently than the other character. It makes me sad because Jensen doesn't deserve this and Dean's fans don't either.

[deniigi]

So on the subject of Lying by Omission and Inimitable, how would Big Red react to seeing his dad again? How would his dad react to seeing him?

oho.

well.

I have a snippet of something terrible to give you an idea of how he would react:

(trigger warning for self harm, mental illness, auditory hallucinations.)

This piece is part of a larger one which examines how Sam understands Jack’s role within Matt’s life at the present in Inimitable. It’s not pretty, so I’m putting it under the cut.

——-

Matt didn’t talk much about his father, which Kirsten chocked up to a kind of slow-burn survivor’s guilt.

He did, however, talk to his father, which Sam was alarmed by.

The first time, he’d walked past Matt gripping his head in his hands in his office, murmuring furiously to himself in the dark.

He’d seemed at first to be reading to himself, but he couldn’t be reading. His hands were buried in his hair.

Sam realized then that he was having a conversation. A full-on conversation with himself. He hadn’t been able to hear much of what Matt was actually saying, but it had been enough to hear him say ‘well you would say that, wouldn’t you, old man?’

Sam had left him to it with his heart pounding.

He’d been scared. Scared that his teacher was losing it. Scared that this guy who’d been the first in ages to recognize him and be kind to him for the sake of it might lose himself. It had felt selfish. It made Sam feel sick. But he’d realized later that it wasn’t selfish.

Matt was his…something now.

His teacher. His mentor. His father figure or something close to it.

He didn’t have any parents anymore. Matt played that role whether he admitted to it or not and Sam let him, whether he admitted to it or not.

Seeing him struggle with some kind of hallucination and being scared of that wasn’t selfish as an employee would feel if their boss got fucked up and was about to be replaced with a real dickhead of a new one. It was the kind of selfish that a kid felt when their parent got sick and couldn’t look after them. It was swirl of worry and fear and a desperation for this person to go back to being their normal happy selves because that was how they were meant to be. That’s how they deserved to be.

It was a normal reaction, Sam assured himself.

He went and sheepishly poked his head into Kirsten’s office and mumbled something to her about checking on Matt and she was up in a flash.

Matt’s doc changed his meds after that. He was having too much anxiety that he’d been hiding from people.

 –

The second time it happened was in between the old meds and new meds and about six cases that needed more lawyers than their firm had. And Matt was kind of…

Scary.

He was angry.

Then he was sobbing.

Then he was angry that he was sobbing and he hurt himself. He really, really hurt himself. Foggy had to yell at him to make him calm down enough for him to pick the glass out of his skin.

Then he hurt himself again, this time on purpose. He had to go to the hospital for that one; they couldn’t treat a wound that deep at home.

It was heart-stopping.

Kirsten told Sam to keep away. She and Foggy took over the role that Matt usually played when he was smiling. They took shifts, one of them doing things to keep Sam out of the line of fire, away from spaces where he might witness Matt’s breakdowns. The other tried to keep Matt grounded, tried to keep him from swinging too badly and seeking out Sam to apologize for things that he hadn’t done (yet).

It was strange; really strange to be treated like the son of this man who he’d only known for almost two years now. But Foggy and Kirsten seemed to know better than both him and Matt what their relationship was.

They always did.

They knew Matt better than he knew himself a lot of time, it seemed. And they were good–really, really good at predicting his moods and behaviors while he struggled through the waves of paralyzing anxiety and cold, empty depression.

But they were human.

Sam caught Matt screaming at his father. An illusion of his father. A ghost that no one else could see or hear or feel.

Matt railed at him. Asked him why the fuck he’d been so stupid. Why he’d been so naïve. Why he hadn’t just done what was best for both of them and let his wife abort Matt before things had gotten too far.

Matt blamed his father for saddling him with the devil—the mental illness truly—that made his life one long drawn out rage with spots of depression and flecks of false hope.

He spoke to the man like he was standing right behind him. And then he listened to what the ghost was saying back to him.

That was the scary part.

Matt listened. The ghost spoke to him and he listened.

Kirsten heard him shouting and came running to help. She startled upon seeing Sam in the hallway and caught him just as he made to take the last step up from the stairs. She told him to go back downstairs to his room.

She promised that things would be okay. Matt was just having a hard time at the moment. That was all. He would be okay.

But Sam’s throat had closed.

He wanted to help.

That was his teacher. His mentor.

Matt held Sam tight against his chest when Sam was hurt or crying or grieving or screaming. Matt did that for him. He wanted—no, needed to return the favor.

He had to return the gesture.

He was suffocating.

———-

The answer, anon, is that Inimitable Matt wouldn’t actually deal with Jack’s reappearance half as well as LBO’s Matt did.

He’s been through too much. He’s got some serious problems with abandonment and when he gets out of his depth, he focuses a lot of his frustration and violence towards this imaginary Jack in his head.

I think, if they were to meet again, Inimitable Matt would be so standoffish and stiff and tense that they wouldn’t really even be able to have a conversation. And straight up? I feel like that would break Jack’s heart and send him spiraling into guilt because yeah, this is exactly what he was afraid would happen and he would absolutely feel like he deserved it.

It’s a tough situation because obviously, I want to say that Matt and Jack would fall right back into step, but Inimitable Matt has moved on and he is trying to be a father figure to Sam (whether he admits it or not) and an important part of that is realizing where his own dad when wrong and realizing how much damage he’s endured because of that. And man.

Sometimes it is really hard to forgive even the best intentions.