#but then i was like damn if i could tell mom how this song makes me think of jean she would really. understand

[asarajaa]

Me encanta los colores de tu blog!!

Do you have any head canons for Bachira?

How he would react to falling in love with someone? :)

I hope you are doing well!

Omg mil gracias! Me pasé como 2 días buscando el aesthetic correcto, en un principio iba a ser coquette pero cambie de idea en último momento jajsjsja

Said and done, my love! Hope you like it <3!

Warnings: fem!reader, spanish lyrics, bllk fem!manager Words: 565 Disclaimer: English isn't my first language so I apologise for any mistakes or misunderstandings!

Bachira falling in love hcs

₊˚ෆ We have to be realistic, this man wouldn't notice.

₊˚ෆ I believe Bachira hasn't any experience with the female genre except his mom, so he think of you as just a friend.

₊˚ෆ At first he didn't know how to 'name' you, because it felt different being your friend compared to being Isagis, but he thought it was because you were girl.

₊˚ෆ It isn't until Chigiri pointed out your treatment to each other. How you always give him first water or anything he needs, how his eyes look for your presence when he enters any room and so on.

₊˚ෆ Then is when he started to notice.

₊˚ෆ Bachira is confused af, so before making any move (or making another one, apparently) he waited until break and ask advice from his mama.

₊˚ෆ How can you blame him? You were such a really nice friend (?) and he didn't wanna mess things up.

₊˚ෆ When his mama tells him about the feeling in his stomach (know he knows they're called butterflies), the heart beating faster and more signs, he agreed with the idea of being in love with you.

₊˚ෆ "How to make my crush like me back".

₊˚ෆ MY POOR BOY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO 😭😭😭

₊˚ෆ After some advice (from his mama ofc), he decided let the things flow. Again, I believe Bachira is very cautious with this thing and doesn't wanna mess thing up (plus i'll be awkard if he does bc you guys will see eachother everyday for a long time, he doesn't want that).

₊˚ෆ His mamas advice help him, but he's still confused. Like, does he really fall in love? He doesn't know the answer to that.

₊˚ෆ You, on the other hand, were 100% sure you were in love with him.

₊˚ෆ Until on day, the day. It was during the break, you were hanging out with the boys when all of a sudden it started raining.

You were alone with Bachira, in the middle of the way back to the arcade. All of you were hungry and since the arcades food wasn't cheap, you guys decided to go to a convenient store.

All of you put your names on a roulette you find on the internet to decide the 2 persons who had to went, and omg- Bachira and you? How unexpected.

However, it started raining and you were with Bachira. Bachira, as the gentleman he is, offered to carry all of the bags ( because mama didn't raise no ungentleman boy ✋🏽).

And your first thought wasn't to put on the hood you had, or going to a covered place- no.

Your first thought was to touch your fingertips making a little house and cover Bachiras head.

Of course, it barely worked.

But the effort.

The effort. Because you were shorter than him, you have to tiptoe so his face was pretty close to yours.

The effort. Because you were getting your hair wet, which made it stick to your cheeks while his face was almost all dry.

The effort. Because you put his needings before yours (and he'll be damned if he didn't do the same).

At that moment, with your face millimeters away from him, he could only had one thing in his mind:

Mama will like her.

₊˚ෆ "Ya encontré, la que será mi futura esposa" was his only though at that moment apart from the fact that his mother would like you AND U CAN'T CHANGE MY MIND 😻✋🏽

₊˚ෆ For those who not know spanish, that is a line from a very popular song here in Spain. It's called "Mi Estrella Blanca", the line appears in the 1:45 minute. It means "I have already found the one who will be my future wife" and the song means "My White Star", it's a very beautiful song, go listen to it!!!

I LOVED how this turned on, I think I'll be making content inpired by lyrics from now on, tell me your opn!!

idk if you guys understant what y/n was doing with her hands?? here's a picture:

WHJBDJHD SRRY IT'S THE ONLY ONE THAT MATCHES. Imagine it like that but the thumbs are w/ the rest of the fingers.

PODER BESAARLA, CADA MAÑAANA. MIRAR PAL LADO Y VERLA TUMBADA EN MI CAAMA. SERÁ MI NOOCHE, SERÁ MI DÍAAAAAA. MI ESTRELA BLANCAAA

btw I finished 4 today, my abdomen hurts a little bit from sitting for a long time, lovya'll 💗💗💗

3 post in a day wow

26/04/24

© asarajaa — Please, do not copy, translate or reuse my work without my permission.

[luvjunie]

— headcanons. what life is like for miles!42

a/n: i honestly didn’t mean for these to get so angsty oopsies!! i kept adding on so they’re also very lengthy wc: 1,751

contains: mentions of grief

Everyone thinks he’s rude and impossible to approach—but that’s a common misconception. In reality, he’s actually quite shy and simply prefers to keep to himself. His quiet nature often causes him to come off ill-mannered, which is completely unintentional on his end and partially the fault of those who assume what he’s like instead of actually getting to know him.

He used to be open to making friends and spending time with peers, but after everyone found out his dad died— which was impossible to prevent considering the man who used to drive him to school now had a giant mural made in his honor— he began receiving a ridiculous amount of pitied stares in the halls, began hearing hushed whispers about how hard things must be for him at home now. And even though they were, he hated that he was being treated differently by those he once kept close to him, like a charity case. As if he were fragile and would break— like he often did when he was alone.

His old friends were supposed to be his distraction, something to take his mind off how he now had to grow up faster than he’d liked. Something to remind him that his trauma hadn’t aged him as much as he feared; that he truly was still a kid at heart. But instead, they served as a constant reminder of the worst thing he’d ever had to live through— skated around him like he’d blow up the second they said the wrong thing; responded with heartfelt condolences instead of laughing with him whenever he’d tell a funny story about his dad. So eventually, he drifted away from them and began keeping to himself all together.

Don’t put him in a box because of his prowler side hustle, this boy is smart as hell!! Especially with one parent now being gone and his mom struggling to pay the bills? He takes his academics very seriously, he has no choice. He has to get it out the mud somehow and he doesn’t have the privilege of skipping classes as much as 1610-miles does. He’s working two years above his grade level in AP Calculus and AP physics, and has been accused of cheating on his tests a couple times due to how fast he completes them, as well as the fact that he has never once asked a question from the seat he chose in the back of the room.

It’s not something anyone would expect, but he enjoys baking a lot and he’s damn good at it too. When he was younger, he’d spent one summer with his Mamá Lena (Rio’s mother), who had him in the kitchen helping her cook and bake almost everyday and it just stuck. It’s a secret talent of his that never really comes up in conversation, and that you wouldn’t know about unless you’ve seen him doing it. His banana bread muffins using a recipe he took months to perfect taste like the gods themselves made them, and he’ll slip one into his mom’s work lunch whenever he makes them because he knows they’re her favorite.

He’s a lover boy at heart, if you were to look into his playlist, the songs you’d find in there probably wouldn’t be what you’d expect. Listens to bobby bland, which was heavily influenced by his uncle, old school rap, and he really likes love songs from the 90s because they make him feel calm, and allow him to imagine what his life would be like if he could have something like what they’re singing about. He’s terrified he’ll never be able to experience that due to his inability to open up to others. And often, he doesn’t even try to express the emotions that are tough to swallow, a firm believer in the saying that ‘once you’re down, it’s hard to get back up.’

Keeps his room pretty clean. It’s probably the one and only thing he has control over in his life, a constant for him. His room is his safe-haven so he treats it as such. It’s basically the same as 1610’s, just with a more matured look, a lot less color and less expression. He unfortunately lost that spark for a lot of his interests, so you won’t see more than a small punching bag, some boxing gloves hanging from the doorknob and few stragglers in the form of posters he didn’t feel like taking down.

He doesn’t like to argue, at all. He hates fighting with anyone he loves and he’s very quick to forgive them or squash the disagreement all together now that his dad is no longer here. When Jeff died, they were still on rocky terms from their previous dispute and even while years have passed, Miles still has yet to forgive himself for that. So now, he usually lets bygones be bygones, and never lets a conversation end on a bad note.

Continued growing his hair out once he realized it was a way for him to bond and spend more time with his mom. Within the little availability they do have, between her working doubles at the hospital, him being pulled in every direction now that he’s the ‘man of the house’—uncle Aaron’s words— and having to do things he’s not proud of to assist her while still going to school during the day, they make the time. Miles only gets it braided by her, and he enjoys the talks they have when he’s sat on the floor between her legs with his back to her. And when she’s done, regardless of how ridiculously embarrassing it is, and how he’s now over a head taller than her, he always lets her pinch his cheeks and call him her ‘handsome little man’. He hasn’t looked at a pair of hair shears since.

On that note, he is very, very defensive when it comes to his mother. Miles is not the kind to go around beating people up just for kicks; mostly because he’s not that kind of person, but also because even if he wanted to— he can’t.

In preparation for stepping into the prowler role Uncle Aaron put Miles into boxing/m.m.a classes when he turned fourteen, and he took to the skill very quickly. So well, in fact, that his hands can now technically be considered deadly weapons in the eye of the law due to his extensive training— which means he could get slapped with a ridiculous assault charge that would have him doing some time in a juvenile correction facility over a simple fist fight. (if he’s not masked as the prowler obviously).

But, some kid in his history class thought it’d be funny to make a slick comment about how Mrs. Morales was ‘single’ and ‘up for grabs’ now that his dad had passed, and the situation ended with Miles suspended for a week after he’d basically thrown his desk over to get to the kid, his knuckles bruised, and a tirade of complaints from the boy’s mother about his now-rearranged nose. However, after hearing the disgusting comment he had made about Miles’ mom, she was kind enough to not press charges and forced her son to apologize to the both of them.

That woman is his saving grace, literally. She stepped up in ways he didn’t even know were possible after his dad died, barely taking time for herself to grieve because she wanted to make sure her little boy didn’t fall apart. He doesn’t let anyone disrespect her and that’s always made known by him. He’s a mama’s boy.

They kind of have a titfortat thing going on, him and his mom. Like how she always stops in to ask him how his day was, if school is going well or if he needs anything, even if the time isn’t ideal and she’s talking to a sleepy Miles at 1am in the morning who can barely keep his eyes open. Or how his uniform is always freshly ironed and laid out for him in the morning, regardless of how exhausted she is and how badly she wants to crawl into bed after her shift. Or how when he’s sick, she’ll drive all the way across town to one of the only fresh markets that sells yuca root and white yautia so she can make him sancocho (a traditional puerto rican dish). It’s the one thing she knows always makes him feel better.

And Miles does nice things for her, too. Like draping a blanket over her sleeping form when she dozes off on the couch in front of the TV. Or making sure her phone is plugged in, so her alarm goes off in the morning, because sometimes she knocks out before she can bring herself to do it. He even goes as far as to secretly slip some extra cash he’s made from a recent job into the ‘RENT’ jar she keeps on her dresser— dropping a hundred in every now and then when she’s not there to see him do it. She’s never once asked him for help, but the one time he took it upon himself to offer it, he was shot down in seconds, and was made to promise her that he wouldn’t worry about it ever again. Her exact words being “You’re too young to worry about something like this mijo, okay? You take all the money you make from your after school job, every single penny, and you save it. Mama’s got this.”

But sometimes, she doesn’t. And Miles knows that she wants to be strong for him. For them. But it takes two, he knows that as well, so he helps out anyway.

And with prayers that they’re not short— Rio counts everything in the rent jar towards the end of the month, and a string of celebratory whoops and hollers will always sound from her room when she realizes they surprisingly have some extra cash that’ll allow her to take some days off and relax for once, and maybe even do something fun together. He’ll listen from his room with a knowing smile, more than happy to let his contributions remain undisclosed to affirm her efforts of providing for them the best she can. With her energy so depleted from how demanding her job is, she’s never suspected it was him discreetly assisting, and chalked it up to her forgetting how much she’d mindlessly dropped in there after each paycheck.

[charliesgoodboy]

Hi idk if you write for shameless but if you could do Ian and Mickey and a shy male reader who they just love to tease bc they like seeing him get all flustered. Like he’ll start blushing or stumbling over his words

I.GALLAGHER M.MILKOVICH🕷

we goin' dumb

girl, got me fucked up.

mmm this yeah here, lean in my cup

can't tell me 'bout shit 'bout nun'

told the bitch don't shut me up,

wanna see them bands

wanna see them bucks.

bad bitches 'gon love me up,

bad bitches 'gon love me up.

song: . . .ılı GMFU odetari, 6arelyhuman

TW: teasing, male leaning reader(fem welcome because i do not care), i think i made reader a little touch starved, reader is actually shy not that uwu shit(hopefully i did, i word things horrible), bottom leaning reader, you may or may not be able to tell which is my favorite(it's the one who isn't ginger)

ian gallagher who wouldn't mean to 'make fun of you' in a way, he just found the fact you'd sometimes cling to him or whisper words you were going to say to a waiter to yourself but you'd end up looking at him to take the order for you. watching you mutter a 'thank you' as the woman would write down your order and walk away, he couldn't help but smile, you'd do this almost all the time with others but with him you could talk your ear off if you were really, really, really comfortable. only being comfortable isn't enough you could still barely look him in the eye, you were working on it though. "could you look at me when you're speaking? i feel like you're talking to fifty different people." "i am." "could've fooled me."

mickey milkovich who would think you're rude and weird as shit when he first met you, the looking at me in the eye thing would bug him and itch at him at times. "hey, who are you talkin' to? your eyes are movin' around like thirty miles per second" "i'm talking to you–" "and speak up, no one can hear you sweetheart." the name sweetheart was clearly ironic and he didn't mean it but the laughing fit he'd go into seeing how truly effected you were by it, you looked like your mom caught you up late at night on a school night damn. but as time would pass he'd learn to live with it, not without taking advantage of it of course he wasn't that stupid.

ian gallagher who would purposely scoot closer to you on the couch not for the sake of the two of you being together but the sake of feeling you tense up when all he did was scoot a few and wrap his arm around your shoulder as the movie played. his eyes would linger at your body language with your nails scratching your wrist and your legs rubbing together and crossing sooner or later obvious discomfort but just in a different way he'd fix that for you. "need a little help there?" "n—no." "so yes?" he could just tell you felt pins and needles all around the embarrassment was getting to you like a bitch but damn he was tempting.

mikey milkovich who felt and indescribable feeling having sex with you. obviously he's shared you with ian before, and he's had sex with only ian before and those times were very memorable. but he still loved to have just you, shit anyone could get addicted to you. your body shivering and jolting at almost any touch he'd give you, going a little slow at first then slowly getting rougher with you loving each and every moan, groan, and whimper. the edging wojld be almost never ending and him sucking you off was euphoric, fuck he was talented with his tounge. his tattooed hands holding your thighs to keep your legs open as the warm feeling would bubble in your stomach each and every time you felt like cumming, your legs trying to close together in sensitivity but he wanted to swallow all of you. "you gotta work on tryna' keep your damn legs closed." "i do try.. " "doesn't mean it's not hot, i changed my mind."

ian gallagher and mickey milkovich that loved looking at the different expressions on your face of pleasure which let them know how well they were doing. mickey could have you take him from the back and ian would have you take him in by the mouth instead, your eyes blinking a little faster and rolling back due to the both of them. jealousy talks would be hell between the three, neither you or mickey could fess up to it or explain the hell he was doing wrong. but with just you? shit you were good at hiding it but they could tell if you had something to say. "you gonna tell us whats wrong? or are you gonna sit there lookin' like a bomb that's 'bout to implode." "tell you what? there isn't anything to tell." "you're a terrible liar, put your chin up and say what's the matter." damn this was gonna be a long night.

[bedsyandco]

Soon you’ll get better

❥ — ꒰ pairing ꒱ lani x quinn hughes

❥ — ꒰ synopsis ꒱ the aftermath of the accident

❥ — ꒰ content ꒱ talks of an accident, medical injuries, death, miscarriage. incorrect medical talk and diagnosis…obviously i’m not a doctor and this is fiction!! unedited. will be edited later!!

❥ — ꒰ note ꒱ title bc I listened to the song while writing!!

Eight and a half hours later when the Hughes family arrived in Vancouver and at the hospital, Quinn was still in the same position he had been the entire night. Sat on the floor, his arms rested on his bent legs, his head rested against the wall. When he saw his family arriving he mustered the little energy he had left after not sleeping last night, to push himself up and meet them halfway across the waiting room.

“Oh Quinn,” is all his mom said as she wrapped her arms tightly around him and held him for a few minutes. Afterwards he gave his dad a long hug, no word being exchanged there because what could he say?

“Have you heard anything?” Violet asks as Quinn hugs her.

“Not really. The doctor comes out every few hours to tell me that she’s still stable and that they’re doing everything they can but… it’s been hours and…” Quinn says, tearing up again and he wipes his face frustratedly.

“You should get some sleep,” Jack suggests softly and Quinn just glares at him.

“I’m not sleeping until I know she’s okay,” Quinn responds

“Quinn we’ll wake you-”

“I’m not sleeping until I know she’s okay,” Quinn repeats and Jack nods.

Jack understood. So did Luke. He spent the 8 hour flight over there thinking about what he would do if God forbid something ever happened to Violet. He determined that Violet was gonna live way longer than him and that he’d never have to live that horrible life without her, nothing was ever allowed to happen to her. Luke wraps his arms tightly around her again, kissing her neck where he could feel her pulse and the pressure in his chest lessens a bit but it returns when he goes back to observing his older brother.

“Do you know how it happened yet?” Jim asks and Quinn nods

“She was on her way to the restaurant, a truck lost control on the road and Lani swerved to miss it, her car rolled off the road and crashed straight into a pole. Apparently she’s lucky she swerved otherwise she would have died on impact with the truck. Doesn’t feel very fucking lucky though, does it?” Quinn asks angrily and everyone flinches a little when he curses but all of them remain silent. Not quite sure what to say.

“God, if I had just…gone home and picked her up. Or cancelled the damn dinner. You know I can’t even really remember what my life was like before the past year, before her. And I can’t even imagine what it would look like without her,” Quinn says, his voice cracking at the end.

“You don’t have to imagine it. Lani’s gonna be okay Quinn. She’s gonna pull through,”Jack says, pulling his brother into a tight hug.

“I’m gonna go get us some coffee,” Blue says to Violet softly and she leaves just as the doctor appears.

“Mr. Hughes?” the doctor asks from a distance away and Quinn walks closer, so only he would hear what the doctor was saying, scanning the doctor’s face for any clues as to what he should prepare for, but the doctor’s face doesn’t give anything away.

“Is she okay?” Quinn asks desperately

“Ms. Reed is out of surgery and will be moved to recovery now. She had extensive injuries. She had multiple fractured bones in her arm, and shoulder. She also took a major blow to the head and there was some internal bleeding that we were able to stop luckily. One of her lungs was punctured-” the doctor’s words get caught off by Quinn turning towards the garbage can to vomit.

“I’m good, you can continue” Quinn rasps out as the doctor sends him a concerned look.

“The list of injuries is long Mr. Hughes but the most important thing is that she’s okay and she’ll make a full recovery. Physically at least. Unfortunately Ms. Reed suffered a miscarriage because of the physical trauma and shock her body went through because of the accident and there was nothing we could do,” the doctor says softly and Quinn stops breathing for a second.

“Miscarriage?” Quinn asks, not quite comprehending the fact that Lani was…

“Ms. Reed was pregnant prior to the accident. She wasn’t very far along…7-8 weeks potentially. It was likely that she didn’t even know yet. There was no permanent damage done and she should have no problem getting pregnant again in the future. I can be the one to tell her if you don’t feel-”

“No, I’ll do it,” Quinn immediately responds, knowing it would be better if it came from him.

“Someone will be out shortly to take you to her room. I’m very sorry for your loss,” the doctor says sympathetically before walking away again and Quinn has to lean against the wall for a second to process what he just heard. The doctor obviously assumed correctly that the baby was his since he told them him and Lani were engaged despite their very obvious missing rings.

Lani is pregnant. Was pregnant. Was.

Quinn walks back towards his family, a little dazed. His lack of sleep and shock of what happened in the past 24 hours finally caught up to him.

“She’s gonna be okay,” is all Quinn says because Lani should be the first person he tells about the baby, and maybe she doesn’t want other people to know and Quinn wanted to make sure he respected those wishes.

Everyone practically deflates with relief and his parents take a seat on the chairs, his mom letting out a few tears.

“Luke and I are gonna stop by your apartment. Get you some clothes and other things. I’ll pack Lani a bag too,” Violet says and Quinn hands her the keys to his car and his apartment. The guys had driven to the hospital with his car and ordered a ride home so Quinn still had his vehicle.

“You know where my stuff is. Lani’s things are all in the same places, just on the left. Same with the bathroom, all her stuff is in the left vanity,” Quinn says and Violet nods giving him a tight hug.

“We love you,” she says and Quinn squeezes her tight.

“Thanks for being here,” he responds

“Of course,”

They leave and when Blue comes back a few minutes later with 2 hands filled with multiple cups of coffee, Quinn feels his chest contract again. Lani loves coffee.

“We’re gonna go get everyone some food. We’ll be back but if you go see her before we return, tell Lani we love her yeah?” Jack says taking Blue’s hand in his own and Quinn nods as they make their way to the exit.

About thirty minutes later a nurse shows up and leads him to Lani’s room, and this is all Quinn’s been waiting for…a moment to lay his eyes on Lani and be sure that she’s okay. That he didn’t lose her. That they were gonna be okay.

But as he stood in the entrance of the room, he was unable to move, or speak, or breathe at the sight in front of him.

There she was. His Lani. Except she didn’t look like his Lani at all. Because his Lani was full of light, and so filled with joy she practically glowed with it. And now she was pale, battered, bruised and blue.

Quinn simply stands there for a moment observing her before he walks closer, taking the seat closest to her bedside and gently as ever, grabbing her hand and holding it against his cheek, pressing multiple kisses on her palm.

He fell asleep like that, clutching her hand tightly and resting his head against her.

A few hours later he awoke to the feeling of fingers gently running through his hair and his eyes instantly shot open.

He lifted his head to meet her gaze and he instantly teared up again.

“Lani,” he whispers, standing up and leaning over to kiss her on the temple

“We should call the nurse,” Quinn says hastily but Lani halts him with a hand on his arm.

“The nurse was already in here, just a few moments ago. She explained what happened and gave me some pain meds,” Lani says

“How long have you been awake?” Quinn asks

“For thirty minutes or so,”

“You should’ve woken me up,” Quinn says

“The nurse said you didn’t sleep at all last night, I wanted to let you rest a little longer,” Lani explains and Quinn sighs

“Come sit,” Lani says patting the spot next to her and Quinn immediately shakes his head

“No I don’t wanna hurt you,” he argues, choosing to sit at the bottom of the bed instead.

They talk for a little bit but half an hour later the troubled look on Quinn’s face still hasn’t disappeared.

“I’m okay Quinn,”

“You almost weren’t though,” he argues, his voice cracking

“But I am. And that’s all that matters. I'm here. I'm okay.” she says softly and Quinn just stares at her for a few minutes

“I should probably go give my parents an update,” Quinn says but doesn’t move.

“Your parents are here?” Lani asks surprised

“yeah, came as soon as they heard what happened. So did my brothers and Vi and Blue,” Quinn says

“oh. they didn’t need to fly all the way out here for me,”

“you almost died lani,” quinn says incredulously. finding it ridiculous that she’s even having the thought that her almost dying is an inconvenience to others.

“They can visit tomorrow if you’re up for it,” Quinn determines, seeing how tired she looks. She didn’t have to see them today. Or tomorrow. Or at all if she didn’t want to.

Him and Lani spend the next hour or so just talking, reassuring one another that she was okay and everything was gonna be fine. And then Quinn remembered that there was still something he needed to tell her. He really didn’t want to, not wanting to hurt her even more than she was already hurt.

“Lani. I need to tell you something,” Quinn starts but hesitates

“What is it?” she asks concerned, taking both his hands in hers.

“Before the accident, you were- you were pregnant. But the baby didn’t make it,” Quinn says softly and it feels like someone stabbed him right in the heart when she gasps and tears up, retracting her hands and putting them on her stomach.

“No,” she whispers, and Quinn wipes her tears, nodding sadly.

“No,” she repeats again, her body shaking with her sobs and Quinn just wraps his arms around her, holding her tight.

Her sobs eventually die down, but the tears never stop, all ending up on Quinn’s shirt.

“I’m so sorry Quinn,” she apologises softly, pressing a kiss to his neck, knowing he must be hurting too.

“Don’t apologise. You have nothing to apologise for. None of this is your fault, you hear me?” he asks and she nods against his shoulder.

Rationally Lani knew it wasn’t the right time to have a baby. Her and Quinn are only dating for about a year now, she was still in school, he was only now really settling in with the responsibility of being captain. But she also can’t help but be sad at the possibility of what could have been. Of what they could have had.

“We’re gonna be okay angel. The only thing that matters right now is that you’re okay. We’ll get through the rest together okay?” he asks and she nods, tears still falling as he cups her face and presses kisses all over. Kissing every tear away.

“I love you so much. More than I can even try to explain,” Quinn says, kissing her gently, and that just makes the tears fall even more.

“I love you the most,” she replies, snuggling into him more as he holds her. They would spend the rest of the day like that. And the next few days. And a lot of days after that. But they were gonna be okay, as long as they had each other.

[willowser]

okay yes. girl dad touya 100%. always. but what if the lil girl isn't his.

when you first start talking, you ask if he's single, married, if he's got any kids. just scoping him out. and he's like, "ew no. don't want any little bastards." LIKE OUCH. so that has you backing off a little, because you're very serious about bringing someone in her life and the last thing you're gonna do is pull in a guy that doesn't want to be there !! no matter how stupid handsome he is.

but dabi is more perceptive than anyone gives him credit for and i think he figures it out pretty quick. and he lets you go, too, for a little while, because he really doesn't like kids. grew up with three younger siblings and couldn't wait to get the fuck out of his parents house, probably left early at like sixteen or something. and he's really not looking to walk back into that kind of shitty family situation.

somehow you end up back in each other's life. and it's got him like fuck. because he wants — something with you, he knows that much. you're not like him, at all; don't come around the bar he works at too often, not littered with tattoos up to your neck like he is, probably never been to jail, either — and you have yet to hold that against him. you're in a whole different tax bracket than he is, because you've got yourself a nice job to provide for your kid, and you still treat him like a person. still smile back at him, hug him when he gets a little shy about your kindness, even brought him flowers once, one night, after he'd make a joke about never getting anything on valentine's day.

so he says fuck it. it's your kid, right ? so how bad could she be, really ?

and he just adores her. not too little — seven this year, she tells him — and she's so funny, for a kid. not afraid of him in the slightest, a little wild, likes to sing, could probably even makes friends with his shit-eating dad. it takes a long time for him to finally meet her, because you're being careful, but he does and you're both surprised by how much he takes to her. has him thinking back on his childhood a little differently; at the time, walking home with fuyumi and baby-sitting on the weekends and having to take natsu with him everywhere and picking up shouto from school every damn day — it seemed like the worst thing back then. but now —

seems silly, to be so hot about.

he lets your daughter call him dabi, because she's so sing-song when she says it, when she calls it to him from across the fucking grocery store. she brings out some weird, repressed kid in him, one that likes to play pretend and get into little mischief, like eating sweets too close to bedtime and finding little ways to prank you when you aren't looking.

it's meant to be so casual when he tells his mom and sister, just a, "yeah, this chick i'm seein' has a kid or whatever," but they ask one question and it turns into story after story after story. takes him a long time to realize he's just going on and on and on about her, that they're just sitting there smiling at him. even makes them tear up a bit, much to his horror, but they're just happy for him, that's all.

and, yeah. he's happy for him, too.

[artists-ally]

I think Harvey would be thw type of person who makes love specially when he’s feeling sad. Like he needs comfort and to be as close to his s/o as possible, fingers intertwined and all that nice shit. How do you think reader would comfort him after he had a discussion with someone of his family?

{Oh, My Human Heart} Harvey Specter x Reader

So my mind went to [SEASON 8 EPISODE 5 SPOILER WARNING] where Harvey went up to Boston to defend his brother against his wife's divorce. That shit crushed my soul man, so this is based on that! Enjoy!! Title is a lyric from this song.

Word Count: 3,191

Warnings: fluff, hurt/comfort, angst, smut, Season 8 Episode 5 Spoilers

Summary: When Harvey returned home from visiting his brother unexpectedly, there is an obvious weight to his shoulders as he slumps inside. And it’s your mission to find out what it is and wipe it from his memory.

Tagging: @kjbg-fantasymoon (your request is next babes <3)

~~~~~~~

The door slammed. Hard. Concerningly hard. 

“Harvey?” You shouted out into the kitchen, taking off the towel from your shoulder and set it on the counter. No one responded. Worry coursed through you, and you grabbed the knife from the cutting board. Just in case. 

Your husband rounded the corner and you jumped, but let the fear drain from your held breath and set the knife down. “Jesus Harvy, you could’ve… hey, what are you doing back here?”

Harvey looked indecipherably pissed. He had hard creases in his face and his lips pressed in that flat line that meant someone was about to see that side of him that meant he was gonna raise hell. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out, and he let his hands fall to his sides. 

“Okay, okay come sit, love,” You reached for him and guided him to the island. “Do you want to talk about it? A distraction? To be left the hell alone?”

That communication strategy had worked wonders when Harvey came home from a lethal case. All the details you knew about this one involved his brother and a divorce from his wife. It had already shattered Harvey’s heart to hear they were splitting up, but this was… this was rage. Raw fury. 

“I am going to open my mouth and let the floodgates go with it, and I just need you to try and make sense of it. Because for reasons only known by Jesus-fucking-Christ himself can this be possible.”

You just nodded, letting Harvey take some deep breaths. You noticed his hands were shaking. He was shaking. What the fuck happened in Boston?

“Marcus called me up there to represent him for his divorce,” Harvey started, thumbs in his eyes. “He told me that it was because she had an affair. I was ready to go kick down her door and take their kids away myself. Turns out, he lied to me. She was divorcing him because he started gambling again and he told Haley not to tell Katie.”

Your blood ran cold, all remorse leaving your body for Marcus. How could he fucking do that? 

“So, tell me this Yn. Why would my own god damn brother, who I spent my money on to build him a dream restaurant, lie to my fucking face? Not once. Not twice. Four times. Four opportunities he had to tell me and he waited till the last fucking second. I-I can’t even begin to describe how sick it makes me feel to have Haley be put in that position.”

“It is wildly unfair for her, and for their son,” you felt awful for them. They were the sweetest kids and didn’t deserve to have that weight on their shoulders. 

“I mean, was he not apart of the fucking family when mom did that to me? Did he suddenly just show up on our doorstep one night looking for a place to sleep like a stray cat? No, he didn’t. He’s my fucking brother. He was there when mom did it to me. And he saw what it did to our family. What it did to me. He was the one trying to fix our fucking fucked up family. To piece it together after the fall out and he expects me to do the same when he did the one thing worse than practically fucking cheating on her.”

“Harvey I think that's a little-”

“Now he’s destroying his own life. No, not even destroying, destroyed. He has ruined all chances of working things out between him and Katie and honestly, I can’t be fucking bothered to watch it crumble to the ground. And the worst part of it is he had the audacity to ask me to win this case. He doesn’t deserve to win let alone ask me. What a selfish, lying son of a bitch-”

“Harvey,” you placed a hand on his shoulder to keep him from walking away. He had been moving around animatedly, now up out of his seat and waving around. “Take a deep breath. Please.”

He did.

“Good,” You smiled softly. 

He took another. And another. “Sorry… just- sorry.”

“It’s okay,” You came and stood in front of him, hands flat on his chest. “Let’s go and get you changed and we can keep talking through it. If you’d like.”

Though Harvey’s eyes were harsh, that anger wasn’t directed at you. You’ve dealt with him like this on more than one occasion, and you’ve learned to recognize the difference. He didn’t dare look at you the way he is now.

After taking his hand and leading him up stairs, you took your time undressing him so he could be more comfortable. Once upon a time he had told you that the feeling of your hands on him could make him forget anything and everything. It was only in your best interest to do that for him now. To calm him so he could see the full picture.

Starting with his tie, you walked to the closet and hung it up in the empty space from where you picked it out this morning. Much the same with the jacket, tossing his still crisp white-shirt in the laundry. He handed you his belt and shoes, and while you put them away, he took off his dress pants and put on sweats by the time you came back. 

“Better?” You asked, placing his hands across your middle. 

He smiled, “Better.” 

Harvey was still sitting, but he rested his forehead against your stomach, just breathing. With calm hands you massaged his scalp and neck, his shoulders and arms. It was important to give Harvey his space at times like this, letting him speak when he wanted. Otherwise he’d just get defensive and shut down. That was not beneficial to either of you.

“I’m so fucking mad at Marcus, Yn.”

“I know, my love. I know,” You spoke softly, kissing the top of his head. “So am I.”

“I just don’t understand how he could do that after what mom did to me. I thought- I thought we were brothers again.” 

His voice cracked, and you could feel the first tear drops soak through your shirt and cool your skin. Your stomach clenched and dropped. You know Harvey and Marcus have been rocky for decades, but since he forgave his mom and started rebuilding their relationship, things naturally got better with Marcus. 

So much for all that hard work. And you had been so proud of him for taking those steps. And you knew the toll it took on him. Now it was all back at square one. 

“I am so sorry, Harvey.”

“What the fuck do I do?”

You paused for a long while. “I don’t know.”

When he looked up at you, eyes all red and bleary, you wanted to fly to Boston and smack Marcus yourself for putting Harvey right back where he was when he was sixteen. He may not have been the one asked to keep a secret this time, but he knows what it’s like to be in that situation. To feel so pinned and powerless. The looming decision of whether he should betray his mom or dad, a constant threat, and either outcome will ruin the family. 

“Are you up for listening to my ideas or do you still need to get things off your chest?” All you got was a shrug and a few spilled tears. “Okay, there’s no rush.”

“I just don’t know what to do, Yn. I have no fucking clue what I’m supposed to do. I want to beat him into the dirt the most. I want to hold Haley and tell her that none of this was ever her fault and she is not the one to blame. Goddamn do I want to hug Haley right now…”

You had to close your eyes. You didn’t want to see Harvey in this position, especially because you knew what this did to him. It stirred up all those memories and emotions from decades ago. Now they were all at the surface, controlling every one of his thoughts. And there isn’t a whole lot that you can do to get them to stop.

“I think you’re angry.”

“You’re goddamn right I’m angry,” Harvey huffed, making you let out a weak chuckle. 

“And I also think that I know you when you’re angry. And that you don’t think clearly when you are. So, how about we distract you for a while and then we get some sleep. Then, maybe in the morning, we lay it all out again and go over what we know. Look at all the facts and whatnot. Because, despite your very much warranted anger towards Marcus, he is still your brother. And family means more than anything to you, Harvey. I can’t let you spend the next thirty years in regret for not trying. You owe that to yourself. Not anyone else.”

“I don’t even know where to start with all this bullshit.”

“That’s where I come in,” You smiled, sitting in his lap with one leg on each side of his. “Look Harvey, you have every single right to be upset. I am pissed at Marcus for doing that to Haley. But I will not let this drive another cavern between you and him. The two of you have been through enough. He fucked up, and he knows it because you’re Harvey goddamn Specter and you told him he did. But you forgave him once. And you forgave your mom. It is worth a shot to hear him out, and I’m not saying it has to be right away either. Just eventually.”

Harvey’s brown eyes darted around your face, that tight line still on his lips. When you tilted your head and batted your lashes, he sighed out, nodding. “Okay, okay fine you’re right.”

“Of course I am,” your smile made him finally unclench the space between his brows. “It’s because I’m really good at knowing who you are, and knowing how to approach a situation. You’re good at being a kick-ass lawyer and I’m good at taming that kick-ass lawyer.” “You love it when I let that animal out of the cage,” he smirked, hands stroking down your thighs. 

“If you refer to yourself as an animal in a cage again I will walk out that door and spend the night at Donna’s.”

“Okay okay,” he grinned ear to ear, pressing kisses on your cheek, then down your neck. “I’m sorry for being so… hostile. Thank you, Yn. For calming me down.”

“You’re welcome, my love.”

“I don’t know what it is that you do, but you make it all disappear.”

“It’s my secret,” you whispered, kissing his lips. “And I won’t ever tell.”

“I bet I could make you tell me,” Harvey winked and grabbed around your waist, taking you with him when he leaned back. 

“Oh, is that a fact?” “No, but it is a challenge.” 

He tangled his hand in your hair, bringing your mouth to his. He tasted like whatever cheap whiskey he had on the plane and mint. You let your body form to his and didn’t mind the way his tongue found yours. Harvey’s hands were gentle as they peeled away the cardigan on your shoulders, tossing it away to be picked up later. 

He took his time, slowly stripping you and easing you on your back. You wrapped your legs around his waist and needed to have his mouth on yours again. He was such a good kisser. So thorough and precise with what he wanted to do to you. 

And he was always very thorough. 

Harvey placed kisses down your chest, down your stomach and to each hip.

“Babe-”

“Shh,” he hushed. “Just let me do what I want. You just lay back and look pretty. Fuck do you look pretty, my love.”

Your heart melted. Normally he had a wicked, dirty tongue but tonight was obviously different. He wanted something to focus on, and if that was going to be you, then so be it. You surely weren’t going to stop him from spreading your knees and tucking his head to your core. 

If Harvey could do one thing for the rest of his life, he’d sure have a hard time picking between you and the law. While he loved his work, your mind and body were two things even the high of winning couldn’t compare to. Harvey loved you. Ferociously. With every part of his body he loved you. 

His tongue circled your clit, and your hand went in his hair to keep him there. The laugh that tumbled from him was nothing short of star-seeing. One thing about Harvey is if you weren’t satisfied and thensome, neither was he. He loved making you cum on his tongue, loved how you tasted. 

It wasn’t long before you warned him you were close, and he just hummed into you, vibrations making you arch up off the bed, tugging equally as hard on his hair as you did the sheets beside you. 

“I will never get sick of making you feel good, Yn. I love that I am the one who gets to spend these moments with you.”

“Harvey,” you swooned, cupping his face to bring him back up so you could kiss him. Your scent was strong on his lips and made you only need him that much more. All it took was a few impatient grabs at his shirt to make him take it off so you could finally get your hands on that body of his. 

All that time in the boxing gym surely paid off. 

Harvey brough your knee up and pushed it flat on the bed, pulling the other one around his hip. He pushed in, chest to chest with you as he sat still for a few moments. 

“I love you so much, Yn,” Harvey whispered, thumb training down your cheek, your neck. He slid it all the way down your arm and laced your fingers together, kissing them as he pulled back. He wouldn’t leave your lips alone, not that you wanted that in the slightest. He was all soft words and pleas of desperation. Telling you how good you felt.

It was like your wedding night all over again. When the two of you met, it had been in a fury of hands and tongues. All fast because there wasn’t a second to waste when it finally happened. But on your big day, he laid you down, just like this, and worshiped you all night long. 

Every word from his mouth was just him telling you how much you meant to him, his body seconding that omission. He was so dedicated to you, to making you feel good. It was all long, smooth strokes of his body inside yours, the warmth of your combined breaths. Swallowing each other's noises of pleasure.

“I am so in love with you,” Harvey smiled. “I am so fucking in love with you.”

You couldn’t hide your smile if you tried. It wasn’t rare that Harvey was affectionate– per say– but this was an illusive moment. He wine and dined you whenever you asked, you were always his plus one anywhere in the world. But it was these small, yet enormous moments of intimacy that you cherished the most. This was a side of Harvey that took a very long time to bring to the surface. And he too realized the weight of just taking his time and being soft with you. 

“I love you too, Harvey,” you whispered against his face, his mouth now busy with the side of your neck. Harvey couldn’t keep his hips slow for long, and they snapped to yours. Air pushed out of your mouth and right into his ear, right where it drove him crazy to hear what he did to you. 

“Fuck, my love, if you keep making those sounds this isn’t exactly going to be how I-”

“Now it’s my turn to take care of you,” you responded, locking your ankles together behind his back.

A shiver ran through his shoulders and he dropped to his elbows, hips driving into you faster and faster. Harder. It didn’t take him long to reach his high, fucking you through it. His heart pounded underneath his skin so hard you could feel it. A slight sweat at the back of his head where hair met skin. 

When he lifted his head, his eyes looked less… weighted. He looked much more himself. Muc more like Harvey and a little less like Mr. Specter. 

You mentally patted yourself on the back. 

There wasn’t anything you could do to convince him to not drag you into the shower down the hall. The warmth of the water, the heaviness in your body only made his fingers on your scalp that much better. He kissed all over, giving your ass a loving smack when getting out before wrapping a big towel around the both of you. 

“Promise in the morning that we can do this all again and then I can make you a big breakfast?”

“Only if you promise that there will be sausage and bacon,” your eyes were droopy, but the smile reached them anyway. 

“Good thing Postmates will go to the grocery store nowadays,” Harvey slipped one of his shirts over your head, straightening it out over your body. “You look so adorable in my clothes.”

“I know, why do you think I wear them when you’re gone?” “You wear my clothes when I’m gone?” You pff’ed out some air, “Don’t act like you don’t notice the suspiciously large pile of your laundry in the hamper when you come back.”

“I don’t think you know how happy that makes me, Yn,” Harvey’s smile was nothing short of pure adoration. He was never short on pure adoration when it came to you. 

“Yes I do,” You smiled, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Why do you think I do it?”

“Because you know me. Really really well.”

“That I do.”

Harvey breathed out, shaking his head. “Thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me for something anyone would do for their husband.”

“Well, in my experience, most wives aren’t nearly as observant or as dedicated as you are, Yn. And I want you to know how much I appreciate you and everything you help me through when I don’t know how to help myself.”

Your eyes melted, much like your heart when he hugged you. Nice and tight and just how you liked them. You always felt impossibly safe with him, and his hugs were impossibly your favorite thing in the world. 

Harvey would listen better in the morning. Especially after a good night's sleep. You just hope that all your efforts will lead him in the right direction. And that direction isn’t the clearest right now, and that’s okay. Both of you know it’s okay to not make a decision as big as something like this.

But you know Harvey will try. And that is all you can ask of him.

[pedge-page]

I can imagine preggo wife literally talking and talking and talking in the middle of a movie and gets offended and leaves when Joel tells her to quiet down

Joel Dealing with Preggo Wife : Yapper

notes: Oh I had fun writing this! no warnings (maybe some Fugitive and Raiders spoilers), Enjoy!

- - - -

Joel’s pretty excited for movie night. It’s one of the few films the two of you don’t argue over and can pretty much watch the entire way through without disruption.

Or at least, it used to be.

Joel settles against the couch armrest with his feet propped up, knees bent slightly so you have room to sit in front. He’s got any snack you could think of within an arm reach away, and he’s got the title on pause so you can scooch your fat booty and big belly comfortably. Usually takes about 15 minutes of squirming, smacking his chest to “fluff” it up, adding a pillow at his crotch, then taking it away because you like his hard cock there instead, elbow in his groin and then his knee, then you gotta get up to pee before starting the whole process over.

“OK Im ready!” You say after 15 minutes on the dot, snuggling close to him with the back of your head rested against the crook of his neck.

He finally hits play, and the Lucasfilm logo flashes across the screen. The tropical forest and ominous music plays as the familiar font of Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark fade on to the screen.

“Joel. Joel. Hey Joel.” 

“Y-yes?”

“Did you know Indiana was named after George Lucas dog? Who also was the physical inspiration for chewy?” You ask  rhetorically. 

It takes him a second to understand you’re asking him a question. “What?”

“Chewbacca! From Star Wars!”

“Oh ok neat,” he says with some enthusiasm, but quick to end it and get back to watching the movie—

“Yeah also Sean Connery is also apparently—well guess how much older he is to Harrison Ford.”

“Um—I don’t—I don’t know.” Joel says slowly, watching as Indy carefully removes the sand from the pouch and weighs it to the gold idol.

“C’mon, guess!”

“I really don’t know, can we—“

“12 years older than Harrison in Last Crusade! My mom was like ‘WHAT no way’ and I was like ‘Yes way’ and she was like ‘He's his father and he's got all that white in his hair and receding hairline’ and I was like ‘Joel's only in his late 30s and he's got white in his beard.’”

Joel can’t hear a damn thing happening on screen except the shouts about hating a pet snake named Reggie. “Wha—“

“Not that you look anything like Sean Connery in Last Crusade. Maybe in like Bond —oof he was the hottest Bond. Plus you got like a receding beard-line with all the patches, I don’t know, but my mom was like ‘Ya know Joel's got more white hair lately since you've been pregnant’ and I was like ‘Nah uh’ and she was like ‘Ya huh’ and I was like ‘Huh I wonder why that is…?’ Anyway but nope only 12 years between him and Ford—“

Joel turns to look at you with a frown, a bit confused and amazed at how you have so much to say, right now, oblivious as ever. 

It doesn’t phase your rambling one bit: “—Like damn, but you know Harrison Ford has always been handsome. But like in the bad boy kind of way, not like handsome upstanding like Christopher Reeves? When I saw The Fugitive, I was like ‘oooohhhh I'll be his wife now’ hahaha! no no I’m sorry, he’s famous and I’m not so that’s why I married you, but that's such a fall film don't you think? Minus the murder and betrayal and fucking Dr Charles Nickles like was he British or not? He was in and out of an accent the whole time? Didn't make sense to me but yeah, it's just such a fall Cozy film.”

Joel looks back at the screen and realizes Marion is already being cornered by the Nazi creep: “Ah huh—honey—“

“OH! I Love her song! It’s kind of like Leia and Han’s from Empire except the last notes are different, like it goes do doooooo instead of da dat dada daaaaaaa, That’s just John William’s for ya, but you’d never notice they were so similar!”

Joel opens his mouth to say something but nothing comes out as you continue:

“—Also I know you said my mom made good apple pie but I really wanna try to make it because I want you to like mine more, so I need you to get some apples and pie crust and butter and stuff from the store, I’ll make a list so you can get it. They said we need ground cinnamon but I think ours expired like 5 years ago so don’t forget that. And then I'm gonna tell you how to slice the apples since I can't handle sharp objects and then oh I need you to get the mixer from the top shelf and then you have to mix it all together and slice the top with like little heart patterns and then put it in the oven n stuff ‘cause it's hot and I don't wanna burn OH and that reminds me—!” 

“BABE!”

“Hmm? yes?” You ask with a innocent smile. 

“Let's try to be quiet and watch the movie ok?”

He offers a gentle smile and nods, pointing towards the TV again and settling to watch it with his beautiful wife.

His very very very unhappy wife. Your eyes haven’t left his, face now downturned in such a scowl, he should be shitting his pants.

You roll your jaw at him once, teeth grinding against one another with slitted, murderous eyes. Joel gulps, too afraid to glance back at you again. His eyes are wide staring at the commotion on the television but, now in your deadly silence, he can’t seen to focus on it at all. 

Instead of saying anything, you roll polly up to your feet, arms crossed over your chest defensively as you utter a loud “Hmph!” before storming away from the living room.

He’ll have to deal with groveling tomorrow morning when you might be a little more welcoming. But on the bright side, he’s got way more room to spread out on the couch and he can hear the movie much better now! 

......... 

He switches it off and runs upstairs to get on his knees by your side of the bed, begging for your forgiveness and promises of a Clyde's milkshake to go. 

- - - -

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[wheredidhiseyebrowsgo]

im so tired of sterek fics where derek is like really mean or just aloof to stiles until they get together. do you have an recs where derek is just a sweetheart who's always soft on stiles even before they get together?

Here's softboi!derek.

let me take care of you by honestlydarkprincess

(1/1 I 1,1311 I Teen)

Stiles couldn’t do anything but stare at the alpha werewolf as he rambled while unloading the aforementioned supplies from the grocery bag to Stiles’ counter.

Nothing Stiles was seeing made sense.

Why was Derek here, in his apartment, with cold medicine and fucking soup?

Or, the one where Derek comes over to take care of a sick Stiles. They talk about their moms and confess some feelings. It's all very soft.

An Anchor for the Storm by andthwip

(1/1 I 3,246 I Mature)

Derek's the only person Stiles can turn to.

Give Me Shelter by WonderWolf

(1/1 I 8,295 I Teen)

I don’t make a good impression, I know,” Derek grumbles. “It’s fine. I get it.”

“Noooo,” Stiles groans in frustration, “but it isn’t fair because you’re not that guy, you’re not an asshole and you give cats punny names so they have a better chance at being adopted.”

“Who told you I named the cats?” Derek asks, his brows scrunching together in confusion.

“Scott,” Stiles smirks. “My favorite so far was Purrsephone.”

(Or the one in which Derek and Stiles both volunteer at an animal shelter, Derek works with cats and gives them punny names, Stiles works with the dogs, and misunderstandings ensue).

If It Means a Lot to You by Nier

(1/1 I 9,356 I Teen)

His mom had told him about mates in the past. Derek would often come home and just hear stories about how his parents had met and fallen for each other, how they had gotten together after learning about what they truly meant to one another.

He was a kid when she told him all this, so it didn't really make much sense to him at the time. All he could do was sit there on the edge of her bed, listening as his mother talked about how love is an act of courage. If you don't take that first step, then everything else is impossible too.

Set a Song for Me by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella) 

(1/1 I 11,573 i Teen)

“You did a favour for a stranger?” the sheriff asked, surprised. “You won’t even do a favour for me.”

“Your favours involve chocolate and salty snacks, damn straight I won’t do you any favours,” Stiles insisted, pointing an accusatory finger at his dad while leaning back against the counter, taking another large sip of coffee. “Some guy lost his phone and was calling it hoping someone would answer. That someone was me. He said he’d had some drinks and couldn’t come grab it right then, so we agreed to meet at the station this morning. I didn’t realize ‘this morning’ meant the ass crack of dawn.”

“It’s not the ass crack of dawn, that was at five thirty-seven, according to the weather app on my phone.”

Stiles let out a sarcastic laugh and flipped his dad off. The sheriff gave him a look, but he didn’t reprimand him, clearly able to tell Stiles was miserable.

Love At It's Purest by AbsolutelyNot2801

(12/? I 24,218 I Mature)

Sometimes Derek does things that makes Stiles think his crush is not completely one-sided, like gentle touches, soothing words and embraces like the one they were in that morning. And then he goes and does something stupid like getting a stupid girlfriend like Jennifer. It’s not because of Jennifer at all really. She’s lovely. But Stiles can’t help the hint of jealousy when he sees the loving gazes and soft, shy smiles.

And this is his step-brother he’s talking about. His step-brother! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Or a fic in which Stiles and Derek can’t help falling in love with each other. But there's a problem, they're step brothers. A fic with angst, feels and a happy ending.

The Spaz and the Sourwolf by TheRealDanniX

(9/9 I 24,674 I Teen)

When Stiles comes across something he shouldn't in the Preserve he ends up on four legs. Not that anyone in the Pack knows it's him. He's just hoping they can figure it out before anything else bad happens.

This Is Not Who I'm Supposed to Be by Anonymous

(11/11 I 24,932 I Teen)

After Stiles' friends get shot, the fox runs away from his home. He runs far enough that the white snow changes into green gras, and his white fur feels heavier than ever underneath the shining sun. Talia Hale and her family find him and she helps him turn back into human, something he hasn't been in years, and he has to learn how to be human again with the help from Derek. He realizes that life isn't easy. Not as human and not as a supernatural creature. Especially not when hunters are back in town.

shatter like glass, come apart in my hands by cosmicayan

(15/? I 47,107 I Mature)

The one in which Stiles goes missing for three months and then suddenly, out of nowhere, he turns up at the door of the Hale House, confusing himself, Derek, and literally everyone else.

Oh, yeah, and he has no memory of what happened to him (or, at least, no conscious memory).

[skzhua]

you are my safe haven ('your eyes' series)

♡ "You were the first person I thought of at the moment."

pairing: lee minho x reader.

genre: fluff, angst.

word count: 10,529

warnings: swearing, suggestive, unrequited love mentioned, minho being minho (savage and flirty).

summary: your relationship with minho has always been tricky. either he was roasting the shit out of you, or he was flirting with you shamelessly. when things start to get complicated with your childhood friend, chan, why is he the first one who come up in your mind?

a/n: this one took me so long to write, but it might be my favourite one ever. i just fucking love lee minho, lmao. i'm so sorry for not posting as regularly as i used to, i'm very much struggling with school and other, but i'm trying my best! anyway, enjoy~

SERIES MASTERLIST

You and Chan met when your parents used to live across from each other. Being a year apart only, it made things easy for the both of you to get along. You had gone through everything together whether it was growing up, changing schools, making friends, etc. The last big step you had taken together was moving on your college's campus. You roomed with a nice but shy healthcare student, Youngmi. Although she wasn't a social butterfly like Chan was, she grew more at ease with you as time passed.

Another semester starting meant more homework and less free time, and that involved no more nights out with Chan at the local diner. Over the holidays, his friend, Minho, had started to come to your usual hangouts. Nothing against him, but his presence did affect your relationship with Chan. Your crush on him had only been growing since college started and Minho's presence wasn't much of an help if you wanted to confess at some point. Anyway, it's not like you could tell Chan that his friend was causing you problems when really he was doing nothing wrong.

Your first day was finally over. Checking your message app, you saw nothing from Chan. Weird, since he would always answer you. Your last class was with Minho, and after you had put everything in your bag, he was still at his desk, not having moved a bit other than jamming to his music.

"Minho, can you not?"

The man acted as if he had heard nothing and went on with humming happily to the song he was listening to. Despite how much your friendship with him had improved, he remained one of the few people you would give away to Satan to save yourself with no hesitation.

"Min." you tried again, but you were left with no response.

Out of impatience, you snatched his earphones out of his ears, resulting to Minho spatting out one insult after the other. "I was vibing, you moron! You're seriously no fun, weirdo."

"Wow, I'm so affected by your lame insults." you rolled your eyes.

"I'm going soft on you, kitten."

And here it was again, the sudden shift from insults to flirts. Quite honestly, you never understood how he managed to pass from one another so smoothly, nor could you comprehend how it took you by surprise each time. But that's what Minho is, a flirty jerk who loves to provoke.

"Why are you so pressed, anyway?" he asked as he lazily followed you out of the class.

"We're going to the diner, remember?"

"I forgot, actually. See, that's why I need you around." he winked, but you dismissed his antics.

"Chan hasn't replied to my messages yet, it's not like him."

"It's the first day of school, I bet he has hundreds of meetings."

He was surely right, but you learnt with time to not base your thoughts off of Minho's because he never cared about anything other than himself. And right now, he didn't give a damn about Chan not replying to you.

"I don't know, should I call Bin to see if he's with him?"

Minho deadpanned at you. "Are you his mom or something? He's fine, probably just busy. Plus, I'm here. Can't you enjoy my company for once?"

You sent him a disgusted look, unimpressed, as you went outside. That's when, from afar, you saw your best friend. He was as handsome as ever, still wearing his oversized black clothes, and laughing cutely. And he was laughing with a girl. You had literally never seen her before, though you were convinced to know everyone in Chan's social circle.

"I told you he's okay." Minho huffed.

"Sure." you replied, unfocused. "Wait here for a moment, will you?"

You passed your bag to him, not letting him protest, and you ran to Chan to hug him from the back. He was startled for a bit, until he realized you were the one who took him by surprise.

"Hey, there!" he smiled widely before hugging you back tightly, ruffling your hair in a sweet manner. "I haven't seen you all day, where were you?"

"Class... And the best out of this is that I get to finish the day with Lee Minho." you fake-gagged.

"He's not that bad, just a bit annoying." he chuckled. "How was it, other than that?"

"Fine, I suppose. I just really don't want to be back in class. The teachers went over their planned projects, and I wanted to shoot myself just then."

"Don't say that, you'll do just fine. I know it." he said, rubbing your back.

"Thanks, Channie." you blushed a little.

Chan soon realized he had been ignoring his new friend since you appeared. "Y/N, this is Eunhee. She's in my sound art practices class. Eunhee, this is my best friend, Y/N."

You ignored the pang in your heart from the label he used for you, but still greeted the girl sweetly. "Hi! Happy to meet you!"

"Likewise." she replied, seemingly uneasy by your presence despite her polite smile. "I can go find my dorm alone if you two want to hang out."

You turned your attention to Chan expectedly, but his answer crushed you a bit. "No, no. I'll show you." he hurried to tell her, before looking at you sadly. "Do you mind going without me for today? I'll join you later."

You tried your very best to hide your disappointment, but let's say it wasn't much of a success. "Yeah, sure. Do you want Minho and I to order for you?"

"It's fine, thanks. Later?"

He brought you in his arms again, kissing the top of your head as some sort of apology. You felt down enough, you didn't want to break your façade in front of him. So you hurried to join Minho back, who had patiently waited for you at the same spot. He frowned upon seeing your glossy eyes, but you didn't let him question it. You took your bag from him and started to walk to the diner immediately. However, Minho was stubborn. He sped his pace up to catch up with your own and fixated his gaze on you. You attempted to ignore it, but he can be very intimidating when he wants to be.

"What?" you snapped at him, annoyed.

"You like Chan."

You stopped on your tracks and looked at him incredulously. "You're seeing things."

He scoffed as he stopped walking as well. "Please." he elongated the word. "You're almost drooling at the sight of him. And when he's not with us, you only talk about him."

"I don't drool! And I talk about him because we barely have anything in common."

He smirked. "Now, now, kitten. You barely know anything about me, how can you be so sure?"

"You're a pain in the ass." you groaned, starting to walk again.

He followed closely as he laughed alone. "This is a fact, though. We barely talk about anything else than Chan. You must like him, then."

"Then talk about something else, if it bothers you that much."

He paused for a second, trying to think of any moment you two had without mentioning the older man. He could not think of a single one. He had tried to get to know you on many occasions, but Chan would always end up being the main topic. He had noticed way before today that you had a crush on Chan, but he thought it wasn't his place to bring it up. However, today was different. He was sick of seeing you check him out from afar and do nothing about it, so he thought of giving you a little push. Clearly, you were more stubborn than he initially thought.

"Do you actually want to talk with me?"

You let out a chuckle. "I mean, sure?"

"You don't seem sure."

"Like you said, we don't know much about each other, other than our mutual friend."

You reached the diner and opened the door to let Minho in first. He didn't wait for you to sit at the usual table you would be at with Chan. You joined him quickly, and he sent you a sly smirk.

"What is it now?" you breathed out.

"I want to talk."

You shrugged your shoulders, acting uninterested. "Please do."

"Do you even remember my cats' names?"

The question was unexpected for your part. In all of the things he could have brought up, you expected school, life experiences or hobbies, but certainly not his cats.

"I do, actually." you proudly responded, and he quirked an eyebrow. "I'm telling you, I remember!"

"What are they?"

"Soonie and Dori."

He gasped, putting a hand on his chest to enhance the dramatization of his reaction. "How dare you forget about my beloved Doongie?"

"My bad." you nonchalantly shrugged.

"You're such a bad friend."

"Are we even friends, Min?" you huffed.

"I only allow certain people to call me Min, actually."

You wanted to ask him what he meant by that, but Chan entering the place interrupted you. For the first time in your life, you wished he hadn't come join you so soon. He said hi to Minho briefly, before coming to sit down next to you. The server soon came to take your orders, and you asked for your usual burgers.

"Who was your little friend?" Minho asked Chan on purpose, resulting to getting a death stare from you.

"Eunhee. She just tranferred here, so I was showing her around. She's very nice, actually. She even writes lyrics like me! I read some of it, and she's got some talent."

Hearing him talk about someone else with so much praise did not feel good. Nonetheless, you smiled along Chan's talk and pitched in the conversation from time to time.

"I'm sure the two of you would get along well." he finished his monologue about the girl.

"Yeah, she sounds fun."

The night came to an end quickly, and Minho insisted on paying for the food, despite Chan's protests. You were walking to your dorm, when Chan had to go a separate way since he wasn't living close to you. He hugged you good night, and was off to go home.

Minho kept quiet as he walked you home. He didn't mind since his building was next to yours. Although the silence was enjoyable, he felt like something was off. You were acting as if he wasn't there and he couldn't help but notice when you sniffled discreetly.

"You like him that much, uh?"

Not in the mood for his teasing, you groaned in annoyance. "Shut up, Min."

"I'm genuinely asking." You hesitated, not sure if you should be telling him about this. "Hey, I'm serious."

He stopped you and put his hand on your shoulder. While Minho was never one for physical contact, you did know he would not think about it twice when it comes to his close ones. Apparently, he did care about you more than you thought. For some reason, you trusted him enough to tell him. Probably because it was becoming too much of a burden that you needed to confide in someone.

"I'll always be a little sister in his eyes, right?"

He didn't actually expect you to say anything, but he was pleasantly surprised you did. "Depends, things like this can change, you know."

"You don't get it. I've tried for years to get this man's attention, and the moment he meets Eunhee, he seems infatuated with her..."

"For years?"

You nodded your head slowly, ashamed to have been looking at the same man for that long. It's not like you did not try, you actually dated here and there. Nonetheless, Chan was always the one to pick you up after each breakup.

"Rough." Minho simply said.

You ended up changing subjects, as he started to spill out about his cats. He said he rented a dorm for himself so he could have his babies with him, and that he did not think it through when bringing in his third one. Especially because Dori has so much more energy than the two others.

"Thanks, Min." you said as you came to the front door of your building.

"For?"

"I don't know. For being there."

"Sure." he shrugged his shoulders. "Good night, Y/N."

"Good night."

You really tried to make Youngmi feel at ease around your friends, and mutiple times. The girl had not much interest in coming out of her shell. You understood that, but her having been in college for a year already, you would have expected her to open up more. Still, her befriending you was already a success.

"This is, like, the only free break I have this week, so enjoy while I'm here." Chan laughed out as he headed towards the cafeteria.

"What if I don't?" you joked.

"Then you are revoked from any bestie privileges. No more driving you home after a night out."

You gasped as to seem shocked. "Who would tuck me in and treat my hangover, then?"

"Youngmi can do that." he shrugged as he nodded his head towards the girl walking next to you.

She didn't say anything as she looked at you in confusion. "What?"

"Nevermind." you sighed.

"Hey, Y/N, look." You followed to where Chan was pointing as he tugged your side, and your eyes landed on Eunhee and Jeongin sitting at a table. "We should join them."

"I don't think we should do that." Youngmi spoke.

"I thought you knew Jeongin and get along with him well."

"We don't want to impose ourselves." you added.

"It can't be too bad. Plus, Eunhee is very easygoing. Let's go."

No matter what you were going to say, you knew Chan was not going to change his mind. You forced yourself to follow him, and Youngmi had the same expression on her face. When you reached the two others, Jeongin's face turned red as his gaze stuck on Youngmi.

"Hey." she waved at him shyly.

"Do you mind if we join?" Chan asked, although he was already sitting down.

"Go ahead." Eunhee replied kindly.

Hesitant, you still sat down and started to eat. Chan began to discuss with Jeongin while the remaining three of you kept quiet. You and Eunhee exchanged some glances, and you felt bad for being so on the edge around her. She hadn't done anything other than being friendly, and it wasn't fair from you to give her the side eye.

Looking around, you tried to find Minho in the crowd. You spotted him quickly, but he did not see you as his eyes were set on someone else. More specifically, Byeol, his ex-girlfriend. He was sitting across from her and they were exchanging obvious glares. You were starting to wonder why he even sat with her, since he had previously told you he doesn't like to think about her. You observed the two of them for a bit, until they shifted glares into smiles. What the hell was happening?

"Youngmi." you turned to your friend. "Don't you think it's weird he's hanging out with her?"

The girl shrugged, since she didn't know them that much. "It looks normal to me."

You then heard someone choke, which turned your attention to Eunhee, who was coughing like crazy. As Jeongin attempted to make her feel better, you took out a napkin and wiped off the water she had spilled. She gave you a small smile, thankful.

"What do you mean, me? What did I do?" she said after she stopped coughing.

"She asked me if I'd be interested in tutoring you."

You hadn't noticed that Chan was the one she was talking to, until he answered. Tutoring? Wasn't he busy enough already? You chuckled as you thought this was an horrible idea, and Eunhee did the same, visibly seeing this as ridiculous as you were.

"What's funny?" he asked Jeongin, not sure to have caught on what made you two laugh.

The young man shrugged, not very interested in the conversation. "I mean, do you even have time to tutor? You barely have any time for the guys and I."

"It would be during the class period." Eunhee groaned at Chan, seemingly not happy with what she was hearing. "She said you're going to fail if you keep going like this."

“Come on, Chan. We’re barely halfway through the term. I can manage myself.”

“Not sure about that. You have halfway left that you can use to actually get better instead of barely passing.”

She gave you a look, almost pleading for your help, but you really didn't know what to tell her. So you shrugged your shoulders, and turned back to Youngmi to continue chatting.

“I’ll think about it…” you heard Eunhee say.

Lunch time went on pretty quickly. Youngmi had class, so you walked with her to her course. Your day was pretty much over, and you were planning to hang out with the boys for the evening. But nights at the diner shifted to you and Minho being alone while Chan needed to attend the student association meetings. Either that, or he was too tired and wanted to rest.

Unlike what you would have expected, it didn't affect you as much. Minho was much different than your best friend, there was no doubt. His weird behaviour, though, was odd enough to make you forget that Chan had pretty much abandoned you. He was still consistent with his texts, but you barely actually saw him around, today being an exception.

You joined Minho in front of the restaurant, and didn't bother waiting for Chan since you knew it would only be the two of you. He started to talk about his day and other fun things. But honestly, your focus was not cooperating as you were mostly in your thoughts.

"No, but can you blame anyone? Hyunjin's butt is great." Minho went on with his story-telling.

You mixed your milkshake with your straw in boredom, as you nodded along Minho's talk. "Yeah yeah, Hyunjin's butt is nice."

He raised an eyebrow, offended by your lack of commitment in this one-way discussion. "You're not listening."

"I am! I just told you Hyunjin's butt is nice!"

"Y/N, you've never seen the guy." he rolled his eyes at you.

"That is untrue!" you raised your finger to point at him in defense. "He's the one looking like he was made by angels, right?"

Minho scoffed, a smirk forming. "That would be me, princess." His cockiness almost got to you as you were at loss of words. "And we both know my ass is cuter."

You snorted at his statement. To be fair, you had checked his ass once, and there was no denial that he had a good one. You were not going to feed this ego of his, however. Just then, a ping was heard from your phone.

Chan: Hey! Changbin and I would like to have a little gathering with the others tomorrow. You in?

Y/N: If that means I can finally see you, yes!

Chan: I'm so sorry about that! I had so many meetings and so much work to do. It's supposed to be mostly done, though, so hopefully we can see each other more from now on.

Y/N: Otherwise, I'm complaining to the school that I want my best friend back.

Chan: Stop, you know I'll never leave you.

Chan: See you tomorrow?

Y/N: See you tomorrow.

"Something tells me Channie's the one you're texting." Minho teased.

"Shut you. I could say the same with you texting Byeol earlier."

This spilled out of your mouth without you thinking. You did not understand why it bothered you this much when he was chatting with his ex-girlfriend at the beginning of your night together. It was surely because it was impolite to be on your phone when you're hanging with someone already. Though, you just did the same and he was not bothered at all.

Minho blinked a few times as his eyes were set on you, before he breathed out a huff. "What do you mean?"

You stuttered as you tried to explain yourself. "I-I... She and you were- I meant, earlier today-"

He grinned at your sudden change in attitude. He rarely saw you shy or embarrassed, because you were rarely in this kind of state and also because you were good at hiding your emotions. To say he didn't like it would be a lie. You were damn adorable with the flush on your cheeks, and he had to suppress himself from slipping out a comment about it.

"You were definitely not listening to me earlier, then." You frowned before gesturing for him to continue. "The whole butt thing was because Byeol had accidentally texted me instead of her friend, and she was complimenting Hyunjin's ass in that message. That's why I was laughing then."

"Oh." you breathed out as you nodded your head slowly.

"If it makes you feel any better, I smile much more when you're texting me." he winked.

"Now, for real, you need to shut up."

Being the first one to get to Chan's dorm, you made yourself at home as you sprawled across his couch, scrolling through your social medias. Chan had plans with Minho and would be coming home with him later, so you hadn't seen him yet. Changbin, however, was there.

"Do you think this is a good plan?" he sighed loudly.

Frankly speaking, you had not listened to one word he said since you were too focused on replaying the cat video Minho had just sent you. "Uh? Yeah. It's an excellent plan." you replied nonchalantly, before chuckling at the video again.

"And, you were not listening." Changbin let out a sigh. "Is this Minho's cat?" he asked, upon seeing the ginger feline on your phone.

"Yeah. Soonie fell off this morning while he was filming him. Poor kitty, but this is quite hilarious. Especially Minho panicking and running to save his child." you went on to explain, a smile still on your face.

"You have it for Minho, now?"

You froze in action from his words. "What?"

He realized that, maybe, he shouldn't have said anything as he scratched his head while awkwardly chuckling. "Forget it."

The doorbell rang and Changbin almost ran to the door to open it. He let Chunhwa in before giving her a big hug. She had brought drinks for the evening, so she straight went to put them in the refrigerator.

"Hey, Y/N!" she waved at you.

"Hi." you smiled. "What did you get for us?"

She raised a pack of beer and a bottle filled with a dark-coloured liquid. "Beers for the guys, and I found this fruit punch thing. I thought we could try it out." she shrugged as she put them down, and pulled a Fanta out of her grocery bag. "And I got this for our Jisung."

"About that." Changbin started. "He won't come tonight. He said something along the lines that Hwayoung was out with some guy and that he didn't want what happened last time to repeat itself."

Last time you hung out all together, Hwayoung had went on a date before joining you and was looking like a wreck. Jisung had to comfort her in Chan's room, and let's say some stuff happened.

"Oh well, I'll have the Fanta, then." you said as you got up to take it from your friend's hand.

Soon enough, the guys came back after they stopped by the convenience store to buy some snacks. While Changbin had already placed the board game on the table, Chunhwa took the time to help Chan out with preparing the ramen soups he bought. Minho sat next to you and thanked the girl as she gave him the food.

"Where is Jisung?" he asked as he started to dig into his soup.

"He's probably comforting Hwayoung again." Changbin answered, which made you feel bad for him.

"If he keeps doing this, he'll end up in a deep depression." you breathed out before the entire room nodded in agreement.

"You're one to say that." Minho said as he nudged your arm.

You glared at him before hitting his arm playfully. You only hoped Chan didn't get what he meant by that. The evening continued as you all picked your pawns to play. You conversed simultaneously since it had been a while since you saw each other. Changbin and Chunhwa were being painfully obvious about their crushes on each other, and Minho kept on bugging you, claiming you were cheating.

"I talked with Eunhee." Chan said, clasping his hands together which took you aback.

"And?" you frowned.

"She accepted my offer. I told you she would."

Your heart sank. No matter when you would talk with him, he always brought her up. Even if you took your feelings out of the situation, it almost looked as if he wasn't your best friend anymore and it hurt. You felt Minho putting a hand on your thigh, probably to bring you some kind of support.

You forced yourself to smile, before managing to say a small "That's great."

You could see that Chan noticed your lack of enthusiasm, but he went on nonetheless. "Yeah, I'll text her the details later. It'll probably be once or twice a week. Depends on her level, honestly."

"Right." you coughed out as you felt a lump forming in your throat, and Minho was quick to notice as he tightened his grip on you slightly. "Sorry, I have a headache. Minho." The boy shot his head up immediately. "Do you mind helping me get some medicine?"

"No, of course." he assured before standing up and offering his hand to help you up.

He gave you a worried smile as you came face to face with him. You didn't know when it started exactly, but he had started to let himself be more vulnerable around you. You almost never saw him having any sort of emotions. Seeing him care this much about you made you feel both weirded out and safe.

Chan watched the scene happen in front of his eyes and frowned in confusion. "Are you alright? I can help if you want and-"

"No." you immediately shut him up. "I'm okay, really. Thanks."

The poor guy was left even more confused when Minho took you away, bringing you to the bathroom. You both closed the door and you stood in front of each other for a moment without saying anything. While he was waiting for you to talk, you genuinely just wanted to enjoy his presence. But as the silence grew, Minho finally decided to break it.

"You could have asked Chunhwa to help you." he said, since he didn't why exactly you chose him to comfort you.

You shrugged, not too sure either. "You were the first person I thought of at the moment. I mean, you had a pretty strong grip on my thigh."

He coughed awkwardly, his ears turning red. "I see. And yeah, sorry about that.

"It's okay. It kind of helped, actually." you admitted.

Another silence took over, but he was the first to speak again. "Do you want me to talk to him?"

Your eyes widened at his proposition. "Are you crazy? Don't do that."

"No, I won't tell him about your crush, or whatever. I can mention to him that it's annoying that he only talks about her." he shrugged his shoulders.

"Min, we both only talk about Chan whenever we are together." you stated the obvious. "I bet you are more annoyed about that."

"Fair enough, but you don't bring up how talented and amazing he is every two seconds."

You laughed at this, and it visibly made Minho relax. If he managed to make you smile a little, that was good enough for him.

"Still, you don't need to do that. It's just as if I'm losing a friend, that's all."

"Do you want to go back home? I can walk you there."

You hummed quietly while nodding a yes slowly. "Actually, yes, that would be nice."

He took a step closer before rubbing the side of your arm, not forgetting to replace the hair that had fallen onto your face as well. "Then, we shall take you home, princess."

You hoped he didn't feel your heartbeat fasten its pace, nor your heavy breathing. He was never a physical person, and his touch felt electrifying. You knew damn well he was only doing this for you to feel better about your whole situation with your best friend, but you were starting to wonder if a part of him actually enjoyed these kinds of moments.

Your train of thoughts was stopped when he let go of you to open the door again, letting you walk out first. As you joined the others, you saw Changbin and Chunghwa being in their own world, and Chan giggling at his phone, most likely texting Eunhee. Oddly enough, it did not pain you as much as it did earlier. Somehow, feeling Minho's body hovering behind you in a protective way compensated.

"I'll go home, if you don't mind." you said to nobody in particular.

Chan let go of his phone, while the two others simply gave you a thumbs up before going on with whatever they were doing. "This early?" Chan asked.

"Sorry, I don't feel so well." you attempted a smile.

Chan stood up and joined you at the front door, concern all over his face. "Let me walk you to your dorm, at least."

You shook you head as a no before gesturing to the man standing behind you. "Minho's coming with me already. Thank you."

"Alright." he trailed off before he gave you a tight hug. "Let me know if you need anything."

"Always. Good night Chan. Bye, guys!" you addressed to the others.

You were quick to leave, and you felt bad Minho had to keep up with your fast walking. Nonetheless, he didn't complain and you found yourself outside of the building soon, breathing in the fresh air.

"What are you going to do for the rest of your night?" Minho asked.

You pondered for a minute, trying to figure out the options in your mind, but nothing came up. "I don't know. Knowing Youngmi, she's already sleeping. That means I can't do much other than sleep too."

"Are you tired?" he asked, and you answered with a no. "My place is close to yours, if you want to hang out."

You never went over at his, meaning you never met his cats. This was a good opportunity to get some cuddles with them, that only if Minho allowed you.

"Do I get to snuggle with Soonie, Doongie and Dori?"

He frowned. "Who do you think you are? Some privileged woman? The cats are off-limit." To that, you pouted at him. "Y/N, no."

"You want to me to feel better or not?"

"You seem to be doing good, now."

"Min, pretty please." you whined like a child.

He let out a sigh, deadpanning at you. "Fine. Not more than an hour of cuddles, though."

Feeling victorious, you took his hand and dragged him rapidly to his dorm. He almost fell from your sudden excitement, which took him by surprise. You were especially strong for someone who barely did anything else than study and work. At his building, he took the lead since you didn't know where he lived exactly. He let you inside first, being the well-mannered man he is, and you were greeted by an orange ball of floof who was visibly confused upon seeing someone who is not Minho.

"Doongie." he said before pointing to the other orange cat who was sitting on the cat tree in the corner of the room. "Soonie. And I have no idea where Dori is."

"You sent me so many photos of them, I would have recognized them without your help."

He sent a glare your way. "Just be grateful you get to meet them."

"Yes, thank you, Min." you laughed before crouching down to pet the cat. "Hello, Doongie." you cooed at him.

Minho huffed at the sight. His cat seemed to be liking you a lot. He went to Soonie, only to see Dori jumping on the cat tree to join his brother. He patted their heads lovingly. At least, he still had those two who didn't betray him. However, he realized he spoke too soon when you joined him to scratch the cats' bellies.

"You traitors." he muttered at his children. "It looks like they love you more than me."

"I'm just that much likeable." you teased.

"Sure you are, kitten."

Your eyes widened as realization hit you. "You call me kitten because of your cats?"

"Why else?" he shrugged as if it was nothing. "I like cats and I like you. This is only logical."

Your eyes went even wider, your heartbeat pacing faster. Did he just tell you he liked you? The Lee Minho who was known to be the most detached person on Earth, the one who never showed his true emotions?

"You like me?" you breathed out.

He rolled his eyes at you. "You're my friend, of couse I like you."

Oh. He meant that kind of liking. You were not certain on why it disappointed you so much. You thought you liked Chan. Well, you did, but ever since Minho came in the picture, you didn't know if you were starting to lie to yourself about your feelings for your best friend.

"Wow, Minho is finally admitting he actually likes having me around."

"Don't let it get into your head too much. This only happened because Chan's busy." he scoffed as he walked to the cupboard in his kitchen. "Now, do you want to feed the kitties?"

You didn't think twice before hopping to join him. You helped him serve the cat food and put it on the ground. You observed them eat together, as you petted their backs. He was babying Dori and Doongie, while you were spoiling Soonie with scratches. Needless to say, you felt like you were two parents watching over their children. And it felt strangely comfortable. If someone told you months prior that you would be in Minho's apartment, feeding his cats, and feeling like you wished it'd be like this all the time, you would not believe them. Because you couldn't quite believe it at this instant.

"Did you want to do something in particular?" you asked after the cats were done eating.

"Hmm." he hummed, thinking for a moment. "We could watch a movie. I have some drinks if you want to do that while watching."

"Sounds good to me."

You opted for a comedy movie while Minho prepared the popcorn and the drinks. You both had already drank a little when you were at Chan's, but some more couldn't hurt. Mid-way through the film, you were already feeling tired and tipsy. Way more than tipsy. Of course, Minho noticed since you were starting to lean on him. He tried to move away, but it was like you were trying to absolutely have some sort of physical contact with him.

"Bruh." he spat out when you were now full on laying on him.

"Uh?" you said as your eyes fluttered opened. "Ah, sorry, Min. I'm just very tired."

"Yeah, it's fine."

"Do you mind if I sleep here for tonight?" you mumbled out and Minho froze.

Normally, he would have kicked you out at that point without any second thoughts. However, your pleading eyes with your tired figure did something to him, and he couldn't just say no to you.

"I'll take the couch."

You pouted before shaking your head violently. "Sleep in your bed. I'll stay here."

"Y/N, you're not okay. Sleep in my bed."

"Or we can sleep together."

You took his lack of answer as a yes, and stood up on your feet clumsily. Luckily, he caught you in time before you tripped on yourself. You grabbed onto him to find some balance as he led you carefully to his bed. Once he tucked you in, he was about to leave, but you took his wrist to stop him.

"I said we can sleep together."

"I'll just wash up, I'll be back."

"Do you have cucumbers?"

He looked at you weirdly. Sure, you were drunk, but this was so random. You explained briefly it was for a skin care routine you wanted to do to relax. Although it now made sense, he didn't quite understand why you wanted to pamper yourself while being so tired. Nonetheless, he obliged and brought you sliced cucumbers.

"I'll go shower while you do your thingy."

"I'll wait for you."

Your behaviour was strange, but you were awfully cute and you smiled widely at him, hurrying him to go wash. He absolutely adored it, but he knew this was only because you drank. He beat himself up for wanting this to be genuine. The picture of you waiting for him to go to bed and falling asleep together was more than appealing to him. However, he had to remind himself that you liked Chan, and that you'd known the latter for years. He could never do that, come in-between the two of you. He finished his shower thoughts by simply telling himself to get over it. He didn't like you. He couldn't like you. Not like that.

When he came back in his room, he was met with the image of you watching a kids show on his personal TV. Some people would act like horny jerks when drunk, but you were a total child. Alongside with you was Dori, whom you had somehow managed to kidnap to cuddle with. Minho loved it. But he couldn't.

"You didn't use the cucumbers." he pointed to the plate, still full of the vegetable.

"I told you I'd wait for you."

He quirked an eyebrow, starting to see where this was going. "I am not doing some self-care shit with you."

"Min..." you pouted.

"No."

You patted the empty side of the bed and, lazily, Minho sat down as he was still glaring at you.

"Please."

"I'm going to sleep."

You huffed. "You're no fun. Chan would have done it."

Oh, how wrong was it of you to say that. It awoke something in Minho. Whether it was jealousy or pride, he didn't know, but he knew he didn't like it. Instantly, he picked two cucumbers and placed them on your cheeks.

"There. Happy?" he grumbled.

"Very much." you giggled. "Your turn."

You spent the next hour or so playing with cucumber slices, either throwing them at each other, eating them, or shoving them on Minho's eyes. It might had been the first time you saw him genuinely having fun. Not cocky or insufferable like he usually was. He was at ease, and so you were.

It was around 1am when you both grew too tired to continue your self-care session. You snuggled into the blankets and brought yourself closer to the man laying next to you. He stood still as he looked right back at you. He didn't stop himself from reaching out to the side of your face, patting your head.

"Thank you for tonight." you mumbled tiredly. "I think I like you too."

He immediately caught on that you were referring to your previous conversation. Fortunately, because otherwise, he would have went on full panic mode.

"That's good, pretty. Sleep well, alright?"

"You too, Min."

You and Minho were definitely no longer friends after that night, but nor had you stopped speaking to each other. Quite the opposite, actually. Think of any act of affection a couple would do, other than kissing, and there you got what was happening between the two of you. Chan had almost disappeared, now spending most of his time with Eunhee. You did visit him occasionally to make sure he wasn't exhausting himself too much but it never lasted more than five minutes. That also meant your crush on him had completely vanished. It couldn't have stayed for long, anyway, after you woke up in Minho's bed that morning, realizing you had fallen in love with him instead.

"Strawberry." Minho said, standing up firmly for his choice of milkshake, as he nudged your arm.

"Chocolate." you said, coming closer to his face.

He sighed in frustration. "We had chocolate last time."

"If you're so pressed with your strawberry, just order one for yourself."

He smirked. "But you want us to share, don't you?"

It was annoying how right he was, and you huffed in defeat. "Strawberry it is."

"There you go. I knew you were going to give up."

"Shut up."

He took you by the waist and brought you closer, as if you were not close enough already on the small cushioned bench. You continued to bicker playfully, when you heard the front door's bell. Turning your attention on where the sound came from, you easily spotted Chan. He stood still, baffled at the sight in front of him. He started to question himself mentally, wondering if he had really cancelled on you two that much that he didn't notice you were dating. Coming back to his senses, he walked to your booth and sat in front of you.

"Hey, guys. Am I interrupting, or..?"

"Of course not." Minho exclaimed. "Glad to see you after, I don't know how long."

You could hear the pettiness in his voice, so you hit him slightly with your elbow before speaking. "We've all been busy, it's okay." you smiled. "So, what's new? How are things with Eunhee?"

"It's good, I guess. We had a... moment, and she is pretty much ignoring me since then. You know, when you came over the other day." he explained, while looking pretty clueless.

"What kind of moment?" Minho asked, stretching his arm out to wrap it around you, which earned a look from Chan.

"Uh, I'm not too sure. We danced in my room-"

You cut him off with a laugh, and he glared at you. "That's the cheesiest thing you could have done. No shit you were acting weird when I came over." you snickered, and Minho soon joined you as he tried to ignore the slight jealousy he felt from learning you went over to Chan's recently.

"Yeah, you two are no better. You were all over each other when I walked in." he rolled his eyes.

That was enough to shut the both of you, knowing well this was an unspoken thing you had going on. You never brought it up, and didn't intend on doing so anytime soon.

"So." Minho coughed out awkwardly. "Your moment?"

"Right." Chan nodded. "Well, we were dancing in my room and, I don't know what happened, but I almost kissed her. And, I don't know, she didn't look like she wanted to, so I back off. And now, I'm lowkey stressing out about it because I surely didn't want to make her uncomfortable."

"She wanted you to kiss her." you responded without hesitation.

"You think so?"

"Chan, I know so." You hesitated to continue with your point, but feeling Minho's hand rubbing your arm let you know it might be time to tell him. "I'm convinced she likes you, because she acts the same way as I did with you."

He frowned his eyebrows. "You like me? Aren't you and Minho... well, you know?"

"I used to, and that's not important." you dismissed the topic. "What I'm saying is she keeps sending you memes to make you smile, she gets shy around you, she said yes to your tutoring..."

"And you told me she even bought you coffee for one of your lessons with her." Minho added.

He looked at you both, still uncertain. "Should I invite her to my party, then?"

"What party?"

"My end of the school term party. In two days."

"Go for it, yeah." Minho encouraged. "Are we invited?"

"If you promise to keep it in your pants, yes."

Right. A party. With girls. And Minho. The guy who hooked up here and there after his breakup with Byeol. The same one you were currently in love with. Great.

"You know me better." he laughed with Chan. "I'll behave, I promise."

Later, on the walk back to Minho's, since you had planned to stay at his place, you were more quiet than usual. You were holding hands, but your grip was loose, and you couldn't focus properly.

"What's wrong, kitten?" he asked worriedly.

"What do you think of Siyeon?" you said, mentioning a pretty girl in your common class.

"What is this question?" he chuckled, not sure in where you were going with this.

"She's cute, has good grades, is nice to everyone. And Chan is going to invite her at the party, probably."

He raised an eyebrow at you. "Your point?"

"You could ask her out." you shrugged.

With that, Minho let go of your hand. "I could, but I won't."

"Why? Sorry, but it just hit me that you haven't gone out with someone in a very long time."

"I don't know. I suppose I'm not very in the mood of fucking around anymore. You also stopped talking about Chan with me. I'm not the only one acting differently." he pointed out.

"I said it earlier, I don't like Chan anymore." you rolled your eyes.

"Well, then. Our romantic lives are bland."

"They are."

The conversation was cut short as he didn't have anything else to say. He took your hand again, and led you to his dorm. You got there pretty quickly, and you still hadn't said a word to each other. It didn't mean you didn't understand what was happening, both of you implying the lack of love you had could only mean one thing.

The moment he closed his front door, he grabbed you by the waist to pull you closer and crashed his lips onto yours. You were taken aback at first, not sure on how you should be reacting, but it quickly faded as you melted into the kiss. While he was needy, he was also being extremely gentle with you, making sure he didn't hurt you in any way. It didn't take long for you to get to his room, and he pushed you down gently on the bed. Now hovering you, he deepened the kiss before moving down to place small pecks on your neck.

"Min." you mumbled between heavy breaths, and he hummed against your skin. "This is not a joke, right?"

He separated his mouth from your skin to look at you curiously. "What do you mean?"

"You used to be very... physical with other girls. I just want to make sure I'm not some doll you're playing with before throwing it away."

He looked at you with fondness as he stroke your cheek softly. "I thought I made it clear I've wanted you for months, now. Not just physically, like you said." He pecked your forehead. "If I can have you." Kissed your cheek. "I don't want the skin ship only, this time." He stopped as he glanced at your lips. "I want all of you."

You were the one to initiate this time when you brought him closer, kissing him hungrily. The unspoken tension there was before was no longer there. It was like kissing each other had dropped all of your walls, and you were now fully exposed to one another.

"I fucking hated it when you cried about Chan." he said in-between the kisses.

"Really?"

"Fuck, yes." he said, going back to sucking your neck.

"I hated how much you flirted with me, knowing you weren't sincere." you admitted.

"Trust me, kitten, I was fucking sincere."

You started to play with the hem of his shirt, tugging in a few times. He backed away and smirked at you before leading your hands to help him take off his shirt. The sight in front of you was mesmerizing. You already had the idea that he had a good body because of his dancing, but you certainly did not expect him to look this hot.

"Damn." you let out without thinking.

"I know, I'm hot." he winked at you.

"Of course, you know." you rolled your eyes.

"I'm joking." he chuckled as he pecked your lips. "Are you okay if we continue? I want you to feel comfortable."

"I'm more than okay."

The party started out well. You had come in advance to help Chan with the preparations, but mostly to help him calm down. The poor guy was so nervous, not knowing whether Eunhee was going to show up or not.

As people kept coming in, you kept on looking out for any signs of Minho. He texted you he had some errands to run for the cats before coming, but you just wanted to see him. After your night together, you spent the next two days doing finals which didn't allow you to meet up again. The morning after, however, he did ask you out on a date to which you gladly said yes. Although labels were not discussed, it wasn't necessary because you both knew you wanted the same thing.

"Hey, Seungmin!" you welcomed the man as you opened the door.

"Still acting like Chan's place is yours?" he joked.

"I've come here so much, it's like my second home." you laughed with him. "Come on in!"

You joined Chan back in the kitchen as he was starting to prepare the snacks. You started helping him out, though you were very much distracted. Looking at your phone every minute or so, Chan pointed it out, making fun of you.

"You tell me to stop doing that with Eunhee, and you're doing the same with Minho."

You froze in place before slowly turning your head to him. "I never told you I was seeing Minho."

"Y/N, you two have been eye fucking each other for weeks. It did surprise me, but I'm not blind. You love him."

You blushed, as shyness crept over. "Yeah, he's really great."

"I can see that. I haven't see you so happy since, well, since forever actually. I'm happy for you."

"Thank you, Channie."

You exchanged smiles before going back to preparing the food. It felt great to spend some quality time with him after such a long time.

"You two fucked, haven't you?"

Your eyes widened from his words.

"Chan!"

"What?" he said innocently. "You have dark spots on your neck, that's all."

You grew embarrassed, but couldn't help but laugh. You haven't noticed until now that Minho had marked you that much. You thought he was being gentle enough to not have done so, but it was visibly the opposite. Just then, you noticed a familiar figure appear in front of you, which made the both of you shut up.

"HI! Eunhee, um, wow. You made it! I mean, I didn't expect you to be here. I should, uh-" Chan spilled out, straightening his posture.

Trying to prevent him from embarrassing himself any further, you hit him slightly with your elbow to shut him up before turning your attention to the girl in front of you. "Good to see you."

"You too. I hope I'm not interrupting." she flickered her gaze between the two.

"Of course not!" you both denied, not wanting to give her the wrong image.

Chan stood there awkwardly before starting to walk away. "I should go greet the others. Talk to you later?" he told her, and you gave him a look as to ask him what he was doing.

You didn't know what to say to her. Seriously, it was Chan's responsibility to talk to her and fix whatever happened between them. You just kept on pouring bowls of chips, but ended up speaking.

"I really didn't expect you here. Chan had kind of given up after you ignored him."

It came pettier than what you had intended, but at least the message was there.

"It wasn't intentional. I mean, I did purposely ignore him but I had reasons." she justified, but you shook your head for her to stop.

"I'm not asking you to tell me why, you must have had good reasons. I just..." You hesitated to keep going, afraid you would be saying something you shouldn't. "He told me about how you almost kissed and I'm just letting you know that Chan is not someone to play around with. I don't know why he likes you so much while barely noticing me, but I'm warning you. You don't know him like I do and I know Chan is going to prioritize who he loves first. I don't want this thing going on with you two to be hurting anyone."

Her silence was torturing you as she was processing everything you told her. You replayed the scene in your mind, trying to spot anything you could have said wrongly. But nothing came to you.

"I came here to fix things with him." she finally spoke. "I don't know the history between you two, and visibly you are closer than anyone here. If I hurt you in any way, I'm so sorry. I just wanted to pass my class, that's it."

You had definitely fucked up by indirectly mentioning your former crush on the guy. This was obviously not the outcome you were expecting, you simply wanted to let her know that Chan was precious and needed to be taken care of even when he didn't want to.

"No, I-"

"It's okay, Y/N. You two clearly have something going on. I know for a fact Chan doesn't like me like that and he's way better off with you."

She left before you could explain any further. You cursed under your breath as you tried to catch up to her. However, you were stopped when someone brought you into a hug before familiar lips met yours.

"Hey, there." Minho grinned at you. "You're looking beautiful."

While your heart wanted to stay with him and melt at his compliments, your mind knew you had to make things right with Eunhee.

"Thank you, Min. I have to do something real quick. Do you mind getting me a drink in the meantime?" you pecked his cheek. "I'll be right back, okay?"

"Alright." he nodded before bringing you into another hug. He leaned on your side so his mouth could be next to your ear. "I'm sorry about the hickeys, by the way."

And he left. He was surely making you feel things, but now was not the moment. You walked through the crowd of people, trying to find Eunhee, but you simply couldn't as there were too many people. Looking behind you, your eyes laid on Chan, alone in the kitchen. You went to him as fast as you could.

"Chan!" you exclaimed out of breath. "Have you seen Eunhee?"

When you took a better look at him, his face had nothing but confusion, sadness, and pure anger.

"What did you say to her?"

And, you were fucked. You shut your eyes closed, taking a deep breath to prepare yourself for the argument that you felt was coming. Chan was rarely mad, but you did not want to be around when he was. Now that he was actually pissed, it was even worse that it was at you.

"So you saw her."

Chan rolled his eyes, as if it was the most obvious thing. "She said you were waiting for me in the kitchen. What have you told her?"

"Nothing untrue, I swear." you breathed out, trying to be careful with your words. "I think she misinterpreted a lot of what I said."

"What did you say exactly?" he asked again, growing impatient.

You took a deep breath in, and searched for any help around, but everyone was having fun and Minho was nowhere to be seen. "I might have spilled out I had a crush on you, but she took it as if I still do." He groaned in frustration, passing his hand through his curly locks. "I also said you like her, and I might have mentioned that you two being together could potentially end up hurting the both of you..."

If you thought he was furious earlier, now he was on full rage mode. Honestly, you had never seen him so mad, and it frightened you quite a bit.

"Why on Earth would tell her that?" he almost growled at you.

"Why? For fuck's sake, Chan, how was I supposed to know what to tell her? You left me there because you were too much of a baby to face her yourself." you snapped at him, which he had seemingly not expected.

"You know me enough to not say shit like that! And I am hosting this whole thing and I saw people coming in. It was the least I could do."

"Fuck off with your lame excuse, because we both know Changbin was already doing so. And for your information, I don't know you as well as I used to because sir decided to disappear out of my life."

He huffed at you as he looked around. He was lost and didn't know what to do now.

"Yeah, I told you already that I'm sorry. But if you love me so much, you wouldn't have told her off by saying you have a crush on me." he yelled out, being heard by almost everyone in the room.

Behind him, you spotted Minho's eyes already staring at you. He was fuming too, walking towards your direction. You didn't know whether he was angry because of you or Chan, but you were definitely worried at that point.

"Y/N." he called out.

"Minho, can we not-"

"So it's Minho, now?" You exhaled loudly, wondering how the night had even taken this turn. "I thought you said you were over him."

"Minho, stay out of this." Chan put his arm in front of him to prevent him from approaching you any closer.

You recognized the protectiveness Chan had of you within his tone, which reassured you a bit that he still cared, at least. Minho didn't fight back, but sent you a disappointed look instead.

"I'll leave you to it, then."

With that, he stormed out of the apartment, not looking back. Meanwhile, the tears you had been holding back until then flooded out and you broke down as Chan held you.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. I'm sorry, it's my fault."

The softness he had after being so enraged took you by surprise, but you truly needed your best friend at the moment. "I'm sorry." you sobbed out.

"Y/N, it's okay. Don't be sorry. You know I can be pretty stupid, right?" he pat your head, and you nodded as a small laugh left your mouth. "I'm the one at fault, here. I should have talked to Eunhee myself, and I shouldn't have yelled at you. Minho is very sensitive, you know that, right? He'll come around, I'm sure of it."

It amazed you how he was still able to find the right words for any circumstances. You loved him, for real. But not that kind of love. This one was reserved for Minho. The only thing on your mind was to run after him. You hurt him, and you couldn't bear with the thought.

"Thank you, Chan. I'm also sorry."

He shook his head. "I told you to stop saying that." It made you chuckle.

"Do you think I should go after him?"

He smirked. "Go get your damsel in distress."

Still sobbing, you snorted at his words before you hurried to get out of his apartment. You felt grateful to have went so many times to his place to know his dorm number. Otherwise, you would have given up much quicker. You stopped in front of his door and knocked softly. You heard someone moving from the other side, and heard a sigh.

"Min." you called out.

To your shock, he opened the door, only a bit, and looked at you. He looked tired, and you noticed he had changed into his pyjamas. He hummed as a greeting, obviously still mad at what happened.

"Can we talk?"

He really didn't want to, but your puffy red eyes and simply the sight of you was enough to break him apart. So he let you in. You smiled widely when you were greeted by your favourite cats. You scratched their heads briefly, before turning your attention back on Minho. He was leaning on his counter (which was hot, let's be honest) and crossed his arms as he waited for you to talk.

"I really and certainly do not like Chan."

"Reassuring." he commented, but received a glare from you to tell him to let you speak.

"What happened was he left me alone with Eunhee and I said some things to her that she interpreted as if I still liked him. Chan got mad and he impulsively said that. I told him about us already, he knows."

He frowned at your words. "Us."

"Yeah, us." you repeated, taking a chance by walking up to him.

Thankfully, he let you place yourself right in front of him. He uncrossed his legs so you could have some space, and you approached him. You took his face in your hands, looking at him lovingly.

"What did you tell him about us, precisely?" he asked, placing his hands on your waist.

"I told him that you're great."

"Just that?"

"He knows we fucked."

He raised his eyebrows as he looked up. "Should have expected that."

You slapped his cheek playfully as you pouted, and he chuckled because you were just adorable. "Shut up."

"Sorry. Go on?" he laughed.

You got closer to him, your lips lingering over his. He would have kissed you, but he wanted to hear what you had left to say.

"And I admitted that I might love you."

He backed away, not having expected this. "Love?"

You sighed. "Dude, we've been acting like a couple for months, and we see each other pretty much every day. Don't act surprised."

He frowned even more. "Dude? Really? I call you princess, kitten, or pretty. And I get dude."

"Min." you whined, but he could only laugh.

He loved messing around with you, but he knew when to stop. "I'll be dude if that's what makes you happy, love."

You grinned from ear to ear. "Shall I take this as you love me too?"

"Don't make me say it, kitten."

You chuckled and played with his hair. He adjusted his posture and was now the one hovering you. His eyes went straight to your lips, and he didn't ask to kiss you before doing so. You smiled and kissed him back, not forgetting to hold him close.

"I fucking won over Bang Chan." he bragged after pulling away from you.

"That was an easy win." you snorted.

"Ah yeah? Am I that irresistible?"

"You know you are."

taglist: @lenilla15 | @muddy-waters | @nanaspalette | @nattisbored | @popcatx0 | @vanblack95 | @aestheticsluut | @thanxxskz | @minhoino | @fairywriter-oracle | @xhazmania | @taetertotsv

Copyright © 2023 skzhua. All rights reserved.

[alastorsfuckassbobb]

Bros ears are adorable 💀

I NEED more Nifty + Alastor interactions in the second season!! As a matter of fact, I need more Alastor interactions with the other cast! I think Alastor's and Niffty's lil relationship is cute! It honest to god looks so genuine, and I like to think she didn't sell her soul to him or nothing, they just hanging out. (That probably isn't the case though) 😭 I would love to see them have a cutesy little song duet, it would probably be jazzy, but kind of chaotic and fast paced. I'd totally listen to that shit on repeat, but more than anything. I just want a Niffty song in general, solo or not. It can be the most bizarre duet, like Niffty?? Vaggie?? Tf you two singing together for??? 😭 I'd also like to see more Angie and Alastor interactions, too! Like they only spoke once in the show?? I want interactions besides Angel flirting with Al, and making him clearly uncomfortable. Like let's have them have a little chat. I can't take Alastor seriously with those fluffy ears of his, awww!! So cute, they look even more fluffier in the second pic, so adorable, they look so soft! I want to see this bitch have a mental breakdown. Even worse than the breakdown he was having in the finale song. Like don't get me wrong, I love the guy. I don't want anything to happen to him, but at the end of the day, I'd love to see him lose his demeanor. (I love angst and drama). Also I'd love to see the day where he stops smiling, like it's not going to happen anytime soon, but I know DAMN well he will stop smiling, and it ain't gonna be pretty. I'll tell you that as much, I want him to meet his mom again, and for her to get killed off for reals! 😍 And before you say, "How would he even meet her? She's in heave-" How do you know that? How do you genuinely know that?? Did Viv say? Cause I want the facts, for all she know she could be in hell??? Like I tried searching it up, and it's from the journey to the light wiki, like sorry to break it to you, lil bro. But that shit ain't real.

[delulu-with-wandanat]

ok sooo- reader comes home from school with a pet frog and it causes chaos around the household??? And it jumps in the food that Wanda’s making and jumps on Nats keyboard and makes her send a ton of weird stuff in an email 🤭 but then Wanda and Nat tell the reader that they have to put the frog back outside?

THIS IS SO ADORBSS PLEASE- Ok ok I'm really sorry it took SO long, I just recently have much more free time in my hand. I hope you like it!

Reader Description: 14 Years old, Wandanat's Child <3, gender neutral pronouns.

Pairings: Natasha Romanoff x Wanda Maximoff

Summary: Wanda and Natasha's child is an animal lover. They have the tendency to bring home whatever stray they find, today was no different. They brought home a damn frog.

School was typical, you learn stuff, got in one ear and left on the other. Y/n couldn't wait to get back home. As they were walking home from school, they noticed a little pond. In it was an adorable looking frog just chilling on the leaves.

"Hello you!" They approached the frog slowly, careful not to scare it off. Gently, they bent down to offer their hand and the frog immediately jumps on as if it knows they'll be safe with them.

"Imma call you, Julio." They gently hid the frog in their bag, putting it on top of all the books so it doesn't gets squashed.

In the kitchen of the Romanoff-Maximoff household, two women were enjoying each other's company. One of them was baking, the other was typing an email.

DING!

The timer on the oven went on, Wanda bent down to pull out the tray of cookies she was baking. She put it on the counter and suddenly felt a hand encircling her waist. "Is this your way of charming me so I would let you have the first bite?"

"Is it working?" Natasha asked while nuzzling her nose against her wife's neck, Wanda giggled at the action.

"It is, but it's fresh out of the oven. You will have to wait." Wanda said while leaning her body against Natasha's. Her wife whined while resting her chin on Wanda's shoulder.

"Can't I try it now? It smells so good." It was adorable how different the infamous Black Widow is at home with her loved ones.

Wanda rolled her eyes playfully and turned around to face her, "Patience, my love."

Natasha stared at her with a look that could only be describe as pure love, "Alright. For now then can I get a kiss instead?"

Wanda laughs but leans in anyway to sealed their lips. The two women kissed slowly, there was no rush, and it was full of love. Her hand reached up to circle itself around the former spy's shoulder while Natasha's hand pulled her closer by the waist.

The two Avengers had officially retired, Wanda was first to leave the Avengers. Few years later, Natasha followed suit. They both wanted to focus more on raising their family and be there as much for Y/n, their now 14 year old bundle of joy. Natasha she still helps the Avengers a little, honestly it's hard for that woman to just sit back and relax. However she has taken a more of a 'strategic' position you could say, she's mostly working at home and almost never on the field.

Wanda however, opted to leave that superhero life completely. Catching up on everything she had always wishes to do, while also being a full-time mom. Life is perfect for them.

The two pulled away and rested their foreheads together, Natasha started to sway her slowly while humming some tune. "This is nice."

Wanda had a smile on her face as she was gently being held by her wife, she then recognized the tune Natasha was humming. "The song we played at our wedding?"

"Mmmhmm." Natasha pulled back to look at her wife lovingly. Despite them being together for such a long time, Natasha couldn't help but fall in love all over again for the woman in front of her. Natasha leaned in to kiss the slope of Wanda's nose.

"I love you, Natty."

Natasha laughs slightly at the nickname. She remembered all those years ago she almost shipped Wanda to another country just for calling her Nat. "I love you too, so much." Natasha gave her another kiss, "More than I could ever express with words."

She poured all her love into the kiss, the immense feelings she had for this woman. Natasha would go hell and back for her, and Wanda would do the same. If needed, Wanda would destroy the multiverse just for her. They love they shared was something no one could ever match.

"I'm home!!" A voice was heard followed by the sound of their front door closing.

The two woman smiled hearing their bundle of joy home safe. Wanda, the ever so loving mom, was the first to greet them. "Welcome home darling! How was school?" She asked as Y/n entered the kitchen.

"Hi mama!" Y/n said while hugging Wanda, "School was just school." They moved across the kitchen and hugged their other mom, "I got into the softball team though!"

Natasha gave her a kiss on top of their head, "Well done my darling cub! I'm so proud of you."

Y/n sniffed the air and smelled their mother's baking, "MMMMM" their eyes darted quickly to the tray of cookies on the counter. "I want one!" They tried to take one but their mother quickly stood between between Y/n and the cookies with her hand on her hips.

"Nu uh!" Wanda exclaimed, "Did you get the thing I asked you?"

"What thing?" Her child looked at her, confused. Wanda merely raised an eyebrow, "Ohhhhh... Ughhh fine, I'll be right back." They quickly grabbed their wallet from their backpack, leaving it open on the countertop beside Natasha's laptop, and went back out to buy the eggs their mother had requested.

"You know if you need it that badly, I could've gone out and get it for you." Natasha said while leaning against the counter with her infamous smirk.

"And you say I spoil them too much?"

Natasha chuckles and moved to stand beside her wife who was now preparing to chop some onions. "It's almost time to do some groceries shopping anyway, if anything, I'm spoiling my beautiful wife."

"Mmmm, what would I do without you?" Wanda said while giving her a kiss.

"What are we cooking next, Malysh?"

"Well, there's this recipe I've been wanting to try. And-" As the two woman chatter, unbeknownst to them, Julio the frog had popped out of it's prison. Hopping out of the bag, Julio took in its surroundings.

What a weird place?

Decide is not necessarily the right term, but the frog jumped onto Natasha's laptop. Causing the random keys to be pressed, it continued its journey around the surface before it decided to hop across.

Natasha suddenly felt a notification on her phone, she checked it and her eyes narrows in confusion. "What the hell?" She quickly went back to her laptop to check on the email she was writing, "Why did it sent??"

Hearing her wife's frustration, Wanda glanced at Natasha. "What's the matter?"

Natasha cursed under her breath, "I need to check my laptop for virus. It's opening a bunch of weird apps, and sending gibberish emails."

Wanda's face scrunched up in confusion, "I thought SHIELD would provide you with top of the line anti-virus software?"

"Precisely my point, if it's a virus, whoever it is they're up to no good."

While Natasha did her thing, Julio manages to reach Wanda's prepped ingredients. Wanda however was still focused on Natasha, feeling a slight anxiety that someone something might be trying to attack them.

"Find anything?" Wanda asked.

Natasha's eyes was still fixated on the laptop, "No, I can't find any trace leading to them. They're sloppy, but good."

Meanwhile the culprit was still hopping around the kitchen counter, "Well maybe you should call-" Wanda's sentence was cut off with a yelp, hearing her wife's sudden squeal, Natasha glanced in her direction.

"What, what's wrong?"

"Ew! shoo- SHOO!!" Wanda yelled in disgust, "No- NO get away from there!" Natasha was quick to be at her side to asses the situation.

"Honey, what are you-"

"Ge- GET THE FROG!" Natasha quickly saw it and almost burst out laughing.

"Lyubov, It's just a-"

"Tasha, get the damn frog before I make you sleep on the couch!" Wanda said strictly, Natasha quickly obliged, she darted forward but Julio continued to hop around. "Don't let it touch my cookies!"

Natasha manages to pull the trays of cookies away before the tiny frog could jump on it. However despite the tray having some time to cool down, after holding it for a while Natasha's hand started to burn. "Ouch!" She hastily dropped it on the kitchen island.

"Tasha, TASHA!!!" Wanda squealed as she kept an eagle eye on the frog. Watching it continue to hop around like nothing matters.

"Honey, relax I got it." Natasha tried to calm her down and tried to move swiftly to catch the frog. But damn, the fucker was too good. Even for the Black Widow.

It took them a few minutes to finally catch the culprit. It was mostly spent on Wanda pointing and shouting, while Natasha tries to figure out a way to catch the little bastard. Julio was now trapped inside a container box, yet this son of a bitch is just chilling there as if nothing happened.

"What's... going on??" They heard a voice asked, the two mothers glanced at their child who was was standing on the entrance of the kitchen holding a carton of eggs.

Natasha let out a long breath, "We're alright honey, just a little kitchen accident."

Y/n's face quickly twisted into concern, "Are you guys hurt?"

"No, Detka, it's not that. There was a frog."

Y/n snorted, "A frog?" then realization hit them. Y/n quickly moved to check their bag whilst putting down the carton of eggs on the countertop. Surely enough, Julio was gone.

Natasha, knowing her own child, quickly pieced the puzzle. "Detka... Explanation, now." She said while crossing her arms.

"Hehe, Julio caused this little incident?"

"Christ you even gave it a name-" Natasha rubbed her temple, she loved their child. But holyshit, a damn frog?

"Y/n, you can't just keep bringing animals here!" Wanda scolded them.

"But it looked so adorable!"

"Detka..." Natasha sighed, "Put this frog outside please."

"But Momm-"

"No buts!" Natasha said strictly, Y/n begrudgingly approached the trapped Julio. Who is still sitting calmly, slimy bastard. They carefully slipped the cover underneath it to carry the little frog outside.

"And you're going back to the grocery store after this." Wanda said.

"Why didn't you just text me the extra things you needed?"

"I initially didn't need it until your little friend here decided to jump on my food."

Y/n sheepishly smiled, "Hehe, love you mama." They put on an innocent face.

Wanda sighed, she really can't stay mad at them. "I love you too. Now get that frog out."

Y/n walked out to the backyard while mumbling, "This frog has a name..."

Once Y/n was out of earshot, the two mothers stared at one another and laughed softly. Truth to be told they found the whole thing amusing.

"I think it's time we consider getting them a pet to take care of." Natasha said.

"Are you sure they're responsible enough for that?"

Natasha shrugged, "Only one way to find out. Beside, I'd rather have them being too busy taking care of a pet than suddenly bringing home a bunch of cockroach."

Wanda shivers at the mention of that, "I see your point."

They glanced outside the window to see Y/n ever so gently letting the frog out of the container. It seems like they're... talking to it. Wanda wrapped an arm around Natasha's waist and leaned her head on her shoulder. "It's so adorable how gentle they are with it."

"'This 'it' has a name, y'know?" Natasha joked slightly, Wanda pinched her wife's side causing Natasha to jump a little. But they both had a huge smile plastered on their face.

Natasha wraps her arms around Wanda as well, making Wanda nestle to her even more. "I guess a little puppy doesn't sound so bad."

"Mhmmm..." Natasha hummed in agreement. "Or a cat."

Looks like there will be a new addition to the Romanoff-Maximoff family.

Here you go! I hope you liked it, im so sorry it took so long to make :( But I love writing about Wandanat x Child!Reader, it brings me so much comfort!!!!

[mikachacha]

𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝙻𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚂𝚎𝚊 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚂𝚑𝚘𝚛𝚎 (𝙱𝚊𝚍𝚊 𝙻𝚎𝚎 𝚡 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛)

Synopsis: Bada is finally coming home after her stay in the US and there's only one thing that she wants to do, go to you and be with you.

Warnings: idk but this one is fluff for sure ❤

(A/N: @asweetcollide you and your song suggestions are really amazing ❤ its creating all these ideas in my head)

🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸

It has been a full year since Bada left South Korea to further improve herself in dancing so she went to the states to learn new styles. There's not a day that she doesn't miss home because someone back there is waiting for her. That someone is you.

You and Bada are the best of friends ever since childhood. Though you're a music major and she's a dance major, that didn't stop you from supporting each other. You were the first fan Bada had as she was yours. Though it saddened you when she told you she was leaving for the States, you supported her in that decision, assuring her that you're gonna be okay and will be waiting for her to come back home.

"You're thinking about her, aren't you?" your mom nudged you gently as you spaced out thinking about Bada. You pouted at your mom who just gave you a knowing look. Your mom raised you all by herself since your dad went off with another woman so your mom definitely knows you like the back of her hand. She even knows that you're gay for Bada and that you had a major crush on your best friend.

"Eommaaaa.. I'm just wondering how she is, if she's eating right or if she's chasing lots of girls over there.." you reasoned and your mom just laughs at you. You sighed and helped her set up the table so you can have dinner together. Bada still hasn't called you and it's making you anxious since she never does that, even when she's still in South Korea. She always calls or updates you at random but today she didn't.

Meanwhile, Bada is sitting on her seat, cursing the plane silently as it wasn't fast enough to get her home. She wanted to surprise you by not telling you she's coming home but it quickly backfired because she can't talk to you or it will ruin the surprise.

"It's only a few hours more, Bada.. You'll see her again.." she says to herself as she could feel her sanity is slowly slipping away from how badly she wants to hug you and hold you after not seeing each other for so long.

Bada sighed as she looked at her phone and her phone screen wallpaper is your picture together. She couldn't deny that she's so in love with you. It's like she's an ocean and you're the shore. She can go far away but she knows that she will always come back to you. Even though there are lots of people whom she met while she was away, her heart would still long for one person only and that is you. Everywhere she looks, all she could think of is you. Maybe she's got it really bad but for her, your warm embrace would make all things in her life way much better.

Bada almost raced her way out of the airport when she finally arrived. Jet lag couldn't even keep her excitement down. She can worry about rest later, her main goal is seeing you so she hopped in a cab and told the driver your address. It was early in the morning but she could hardly care.

You woke up to the sound of a knock coming from the front door. You got up, wearing Bada's baggy shirt and pants that she left when she once slept over your at your house. You wore your fuzzy slippers and was rubbing the sleepiness off your eyes, mentally cursing whoever was knocking on your door so early and disturbing your slumber.

"Oh damn.. Good morning, pretty angel." Bada greeted you as she stood outside as you answered the door. She found it adorable that you wore the clothes she left at your house as pajamas. She knows she sounds delusional but the thought of you wearing her clothes for comfort makes her feel giddy.

"Bada? Am I still dreaming or are you really here?" you asked, thoughts still in disarray as you just woke up. Bada laughs and pulled you in for a hug. She missed you so much and just wanted to hold you in her arms after having been gone for so long.

"I'm home now, Y/N." She whispers and it took you a minute for your brain to process what's going on and when you did, you hugged her back and began sobbing on her arms. You were so worried the night before when she didn't call or message you and now she's here. You're still upset about it but it was trumped over by the happiness you felt because Bada is finally home.

The both of you just stood there hugging each other and crying, exchanging 'i miss you' and just enjoying each other's hold for minutes before your mom found you two and ushered you inside the house as it was cold outside. She made breakfast for you and Bada who still could not let go of each other but has since calmed down from crying.

"You bitch.. I was so worried when you didn't call me or even update me about what's going on.." you glared at Bada a little and she just pouted before resting her head on your shoulder.

"I wanted to surprise you, okay? But it was hard for me too.. Not talking to you made me so anxious while on the plane." she reasoned out and kissed your cheek. You sighed and ruffled her hair while your mom just listened to her daughter and maybe future daughter in law flirting and fighting at the same time. At first she was in denial with the idea of her daughter being with a woman but seeing how happy you are with Bada and how in love you are with each other even though none of you admitted yet, she finally came to terms that you, her daughter will not be giving her a son in law but she's not complaining since Bada is a good daughter in law in her eyes.

[my-proof-is-you]

Now That We Don’t Talk - Part 1

Summary: When you started dating Jensen Ackles, things were damn near perfect. You were so compatible, and you fit into his life seamlessly. After Supernatural ended, though, Jensen got a new job. Pretty soon, Jensen also got a new life. And you no longer fit in it.

Jensen x You

Inspired by the song Now That We Don’t Talk by Taylor Swift

Masterlist

You

You sat the last box down in your living room with a grunt. You’d been lugging boxes into your new apartment all day, and you were exhausted. You let your tired body fall back onto the couch, sinking into the soft cushions. 

You looked around the room filled with cardboard and the few pieces of furniture you had. You could feel the tears threatening to fill your eyes, and bit your lip to stop them. You pulled out your phone, tapping the name of the only person you could think to call at that moment. 

“Hi, baby, how are you doing?” your mom answered on the second ring.

You sighed. “I’ve been better,” you replied, rubbing a hand down your face.

“This really is for the best, you know?” she said, and you could almost picture the sympathetic look she’d have on her face. 

“Is it? Cause right now it feels just…horrible.”

“Yes, Y/N, it is. He changed, and you are not the only one who noticed.”

You sighed again. “Thanks, Momma. I better get unpacking. Love you.”

“Love you too, Bug. Pour yourself a glass of wine and just try to relax.”

You smiled as you hung up. Your mom truly was your best friend. You’d called her right after you broke up with Jensen and she’d talked you through it the best she could from nearly a thousand miles away. 

After you’d moved to Austin to be with Jensen, you saw your mom a lot less than you’d liked. It was tempting to move back home after the breakup, but you had a job that you really loved, and you just couldn’t bring yourself to leave it. 

You had friends nearby, too. The only problem was that Jensen was the one who introduced you to them, which made you feel a little uncomfortable. Gen had already reached out to you. She’d left a message wanting to get together to hang out. You hadn’t responded yet. You just weren’t sure if you could handle the inevitable conversation she’d want to have about the breakup.

You pulled out your corkscrew and a wine glass from your box labeled “kitchen” and opened the bottle of white wine you’d gotten on your quick grocery trip earlier in the day. As you took your first sip, you sat down again and let your mind wander to the beginnings of your relationship with Jensen. 

Two Years Earlier - You

It had been by chance that you’d met the green-eyed actor at a coffee shop in your small town of Salida, Colorado. He’d been on his way home from a fan convention in Denver and had taken a wrong turn. He’d wanted to make the long drive alone to clear his head, and you’d learn later how stubborn he was about using the GPS on his phone. 

He’d come into the coffee shop you frequented to get some caffeine and directions. You’d recognized him, of course, since you were a fan of Supernatural. You’d always kept up with the show, but you weren’t a big enough fan to have gone to the convention. 

“Excuse me, miss,” you heard, looking up from your laptop in surprise. Though you’d noticed him enter the shop immediately, you’d never expected him to talk to you. 

“I’m on my way back to Texas, and I think I’m a little lost. I don’t have any service on my phone, but I’m using the Wi-Fi here to look at Google Maps.”

You nodded, listening to his explanation while still wondering why he was talking to you of all people. 

“Can you take a look and tell me if this is a good route back to I-25?” he asked, giving you a dazzling smile. You returned it, and took his phone. 

“Sure,” you said, looking at the route his phone was going to take him. It looked fine, which only added to your confusion at the question he was asking you. Surely the app could tell Jensen what the fastest or easiest route was.

“That is a good option,” you said, handing him his phone back. “And when you go through Trinidad, there’s a great little barbecue place off Main Street you should check out. Awesome pulled pork and even better cheese fries.”

He nodded, his eyes surprised. “Thanks—“ he paused, stretching out his hand in an invitation to shake yours.

“Y/N,” you responded, placing your hand in his calloused one.

“Y/N,” he repeated. “I’m Jensen.” 

“I know,” you said with a smirk. He let out a chuckle and stood there for another moment, as if deciding something. 

“Would it be weird if I asked to buy you a cup of coffee?” he asked finally.

“Hmm, I have coffee,” you replied, glancing at the paper cup in front of you. He seemed to deflate a little, and you quickly continued. “But I would love a scone.”

He smiled again, giving you a wink as he headed to the counter. After he bought your scone and his own coffee, he returned to your table where he asked if he could join you.

You made small talk for a little bit. You told him you liked his show; he asked you about your life in Salida; you joked easily with each other. Before you knew it, a couple of hours had gone by. 

“Well, I really should get going. I have a long drive ahead of me,” Jensen said, leaning back in his chair. 

“Yeah, good idea,” you responded. You had really enjoyed your talk with him, even if it was just a random moment in your life and you never saw him again.

“Do you think I could see you again?” he asked, looking a little nervous. It was very cute, especially since he was a famous actor. 

“Might be a little tough, what with living a thousand miles apart,” you said with a smirk. You saw his shoulders sink a little. “How about I give you my number. If you ever want to talk, I’ll answer.”

“Hmm,” he said, nodding. “It’s not ideal, but I’ll take what I can get, sweetheart.” 

You smiled coyly and put your number in his phone. “It was great to meet you, Jensen. I hope we meet again.”

“Oh, I think we will, Y/N,” he said confidently. You shook your head with a smile as he backed away from the table and out the door.  I will never hear from him again, you thought as you watched him get into his car that was parked on the street. Little did you know, one day later he would prove you wrong.

Forevers:

@divadinag @lynne1993 @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce​  @onethirstyunicorn @sammykb1994 @lilulo-12 @mellorine-paprika @tranquility-or-chaos @collette04 @hoboal87 @chevyharvelle @miraclesoflove @defenderrosetyler @babypink224221 @calaofnoldor @beatifuldisaster018 @coffeebooksandfandom @supernatural3002 @lainxcas @mylovelydame21 @mrsdeanfuckingwinchester @lovely-lynns-likes @ppeachygemss @screechingartisancashbailiff @metalfangirl @vicmc624 @polina-93 @hobby27 @sexyvixen7 @unnuevosoltransformalarealidad @lyarr24 @amelia-song-pond @donnaintx @spnbaby-67 @traceyaudette @gh0stgurl @fiftyshadesgrl @tapedeck-hearts @lacilou @foxyjwls007 @stoneyggirl2

[kimpossibly]

THE CHAIN -> e. roundtree PART THREE: the six

PAIRING: eddie roundtree x fem!reader WARNINGS: swearing, drinking, drugs, minor injuries, blood, very suggestive content, implied sex (NOTE: some warnings for this story include MAJOR spoilers for this series down the line, so I'll put those beneath the cut. If you don't want to get the story spoiled, then just ignore it ― but I did want to provide the chance for you to get an idea of how the story will go later down the line if you have any sensitive topics you'd like to avoid. please prioritize your mental wellbeing!)

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I fear I may have screwed up the timeline, but oh well! Hope you enjoy!

WARNINGS (SPOILERS INCLUDED): reader has a life threatening illness. Discussions about death and loss, depictions of grief, hospitals

SEVENEIGHTNINE (1975-1976)

The recording of their first album tested The Six's strength ― not only as a band, but as friends. And Y/n, who had never really been a part of the band during its songwriting process, was quick to realize that there was friction between the same band members again and again. Most notably, Billy and Eddie.

KAREN: Eddie wanted more freedom with what he was playing, Billy thought that since he was the frontman that his word was law...it's the same old story you've heard before. They were in a constant dick measuring contest and neither one of them wanted to admit defeat.

WARREN: Billy was my friend. Eddie was my friend. But when you put them in a room together and told them to make a song, they were the most annoying motherfuckers you'd ever met.

One day after a particularly harrowing songwriting session, the band found themselves back at the house in Laurel Canyon. The place that was usually filled with talk and music was silent, the telltale sign that they had brought work home with them. but what else were they supposed to do? They worked together, they lived together. The lines between work and home were becoming dangerously thin.

Y/n couldn't stand the silence. At her house, there had always been something going on ― her mom would be talking on the phone, someone would come in injured and she'd fix them up. At the very least, she'd keep the television on so she could get a good nights' sleep. But that night it was dead silent. Sickeningly so.

So Y/n got out of bed and wandered into Eddie's room. She didn't acknowledge his presence as she walked in, stopped in place suddenly, and collapsed onto the ground, staring up at the ceiling.

Eddie watched the whole thing from his bed, his guitar in his hands. He expected that maybe she'd say something, start a conversation and whatnot, but she didn't. She just went on, staring at the ceiling as though she had all the time in the world and a perfect reason to be there on the floor.

So he spoke first. "Hi."

"Why can't you just get over things?"

EDDIE: Out of the blue, no hesitation. "Why can't you just get over things?" I knew what she was talking about. Me and Billy had been at each others' throats for weeks, ever since we started writing the damn album. She wanted to know why I couldn't just pack it all in and take the hits as they came.

"Um―"

"Because here's the thing: you guys both have so much pride. Soooooo much. So much it makes me want to slap you guys across the face and remind you that you're human, not gods. And, look, I get it. He walks all over you sometimes and that's not cool. But sometimes it feels like you're pushing back just to be contrarian. Like you don't really disagree with what he's saying, you just disagree with the fact that he's the one saying it. You get my drift?"

EDDIE: Like I said, she doesn't sugarcoat things. She'll tell you what you are and if you don't like it? Tough.

Eddie paused, leaning back. She was right; he knew that much. And maybe he did argue with things just to argue, but so what? They weren't The Dunne Brothers anymore, they were The Six. Implied equal partnership. And still...

"He's thinks it's his band, Y/n."

"Then talk to him about it."

"I can't."

"Why not?" Y/n sat up, a crease formed between her brows.

He wasn't quite expecting that question. But, after a bit of stumbling, he came to what he thought was a reasonable answer: "Because he doesn't listen."

Y/n just looked at him like that was the dumbest thing he had ever said. "Well then make him listen."

"Yeah, alright. and how the hell am I supposed to do that?"

She didn't answer immediately, thinking. Eddie thought for a moment that he might have won.

EDDIE: There wasn't really a way to win an argument with her. Not really.

After a moment she turned to him. "A war isn't just two guys screaming at each other, Ed. They need soldiers, armies. Let me be your army."

"Why?"

"Because I don't like watching you get pushed around. It's kind of...sad."

"Thanks."

"You asked."

They lapsed into silence again. Y/n laid back down on the floor, staring at the cracks in the ceiling. When she spoke again, it was so quiet, Eddie wasn't sure at first if she was talking to him or to herself. "I just...I'm on your side, okay? So don't make it any harder to be."

EDDIE: I never quite got that, you know? "I'm on your side." I had no idea why she'd be on my side. Billy was the frontman, Billy was the guy you looked up to. And there she was, trying to help me out without me even asking. I guess I thought, am I really that pathetic? [Laughs] I probably don't want to know the answer to that. I don't know why she was on my side, I really don't. But it was good to know. Made me feel like, aside from all the melodrama that came with rock n' roll, I had something to hold on to.

By the time SevenEightNine was done, the CEO of Runner Records, Rich Palentino, was not impressed. In fact, in his opinion, the entire collection of songs they had collectively poured their hearts and souls into, did not have a number one single among it. Teddy Price decided to take things into his own hands, and that's when Daisy Jones got involved.

The plan was to take 'Honeycomb' ― a song Billy had written about the life he had promised Camila ― and add a female vocal onto it, a sort of call and response duet.

Needless to say, Billy was not happy about the arrangement.

GRAHAM: He had just gotten back from rehab and was finally making things right with his wife and his daughter, and they wanted to bring a new chick in to "fix" his song. I can see why he was upset. I just think that he could've handled it better.

EDDIE: He threw a fit. So, naturally, everybody tried to do things to appease him. Graham had the idea that Karen could sing the female part.

KAREN: Like I said, I can back up a chorus, but I can't hold my own.

EDDIE: Y/n was thrown into the mix.

KAREN: Eddie put "Y/n" and "solo" in the same sentence and she looked like she was going to vomit. We moved on.

GRAHAM: Eventually Billy got the gist that Daisy was what we needed. At least, Teddy thought so. And Billy would take Teddy's word over his own any day of the week.

BILLY: I thought, "Fine. If this Daisy girl wants to try it, we'll let her try it."

Daisy was brought into the studio within the next couple of days, marking the first time she ever officially worked with The Six. She was generally well received by all its members (except maybe Billy) and found a fast friend in Y/n.

Firstly, they were the closest in age, and, when you're thrown into a new environment surrounded by strangers, that tends to be what you gravitate towards. That, and Y/n had the special ability of getting the boys to shut up long enough to let her do her thing. That was especially important.

DAISY: The first time I got into that studio to record, the rest of the band crowded at the window, staring at me like I was an elephant in a zoo. It was unsettling. I was probably on the verge of yelling to them to give me some room to breathe when I saw Y/n and Karen dragging them out by their collars, kicking them out of the room until they were the only ones left. That meant a lot.

Despite Billy's every attempt to complain, Honeycomb was released featuring Daisy Jones. Billy was stubbornly pessimistic about the whole thing, of course. And by the time the recording and mixing of 'Honeycomb' was done, it was completely different from the song Billy had first pitched. He felt that his vision had been trod upon in a most disrespectful manner, so much so that, when it was first played, start to finish, for the entire band, the walked out the second the record stopped.

They all watched him go with confusion ― the song was good. It was great, even, but Billy hated it so much that he couldn't even stand to be in the same room as it. And this was before Camila started coming to recording sessions, so no one really wanted to follow him out. Especially not Eddie.

So after the door slammed, they all spent a tense few seconds looking around, sharing confused and annoyed looks over Billy's outburst, and when it became clear that no one was going to do a damn thing about it, Y/n sighed and got up. "Looks like I have to do everything around here, huh?"

She found Billy outside, leaning on the hood of his car, staring at the slowly heating pavement in the California sun. He had his hands crossed over his chest, not unlike a kid who had just gotten his toy taken from him. He didn't look up when Y/n stepped outside, but he spoke the moment she was within earshot: "We're not releasing it."

The reply that came back was a sharp, loud laugh from Y/n. "Fuck you, we're not releasing it. It's a good song. Probably the best one we've ever made."

"You don't get it," Billy shook his head, "that's my song that she's singing. Mine. The one that I wrote about my wife."

"It's not about your wife, Billy," Y/n said. "It's an apology to your wife. You asked us all to make it and we said yes, so don't go acting like you're the goddamn puppet master pulling all the strings. You asked us to make the song, and we said yes. And it's our band. Your song, our band. Sometimes we have to make decisions that don't please your every fucking whim because it's our band and we want to take it as far as we can. And this song, Billy? This is how we do that."

He said nothing, continuing to stare at the ground.

"We're releasing it as soon as we can, and the world is gonna lose its fucking mind. At least you can go home and tell your wife that everyone loves her song."

Billy looked up then, some of his scowl melted away. Y/n grabbed him by the wrist, uncrossing his arms and pulling him back towards the studio. "Now the least you can do is go be civil to your bandmates and to the girl who just made us a number one single."

Eventually she succeeded in dragging him back into the recording booth, to the surprise of everyone already there.

"He threw a fit; I told him to shut up and get over himself. So, when can we release it?" Y/n asked, looking to Teddy.

BILLY: Just like that, she told me to get my act together and got me back in that studio. It was a little harsher than it had to be, but it worked. She had perfected the art of making someone realize how much of an asshole they were being at that point. I think she used it most on me. Occasionally Warren. If it weren't for her, I don't know if I would've gotten back in that studio. Because I don't know if anyone else would've walked out to get me.

Just as Y/n had predicted, 'Honeycomb' quickly sailed to the top of the charts. It generated national attention, with the whole world seeming to suddenly ask the question, Who the hell is The Six?

Daisy Jones had singlehandedly brought them to the top, and it pissed Billy Dunne off to no end.

The rest of the band, however, was enjoying their newfound celebrity. Their album, SevenEightNine, came out soon after, putting them on the road for their first tour ever. Daisy was set to be their opening act ― which, again, did not exactly please Billy. But she was a magnet. Where Daisy went, people seemed to follow.

As the days counted down before they left, they did what they knew best: partying. Y/n, in particular, found herself spending increasingly more and more time with Daisy.

DAISY: Not everyone was on board with me having a hand in the band's success, I knew that. But I had a place at the Marmont that had a pool. And back then, that was all it took to be okay in Y/n's book.

―

[The following is a transcription from an interview with Rolling Stone. On June 2, 1975, Jonah Berg sat down with Y/n L/n to discuss the band's recent success and life on the road.]

JONAH: Where do you think you'd be right now? If you weren't in a band, I mean?

Y/N: [Pauses. Smiles] Somewhere in the ocean.

JONAH: No thoughts as to a career?

Y/N: You didn't ask about a career. You asked what I'd be doing right now. And that's it ― I'd be in the ocean. And I'd be in whatever career got me there.

[This marks the end of the transcript.]

―

WARREN: The girl is a fucking fish.

DAISY: She'd go under for as long as she could, come up for a single breath, and go back under again. Over and over and over. You can't get a single word in that girl's ears when she's in the water.

KAREN: Y/n had a habit of getting...obsessed. With people, with music, whatever it was that caught her interest and held it. And Daisy...[pauses] Daisy did that.

EDDIE: I'm not so sure it was a great thing that Daisy and Y/n became friends when they did.

In Laurel Canyon, Y/n was often the first to come home. In fact, whenever another band member stumbled in, they could most likely count on the fact that if they shouted, "Y/n, I'm home!" they'd hear her yell "Good. Go to sleep!" in response. But that night, it was not the case.

After all the band members had returned for the night, Y/n was still at the Marmont with Daisy. Her hair and clothes were still drying from when she had jumped in the pool an hour previous ― well, she either jumped or she was pushed. She couldn't quite remember now.

Dozens of people had crowded around the pool, drinking and doing whatever drugs came their way. More than once, Daisy and Y/n would stop their stroll to knock back some pills passed their way or do a line off a pool table. Y/n started to wonder what time she had to get home when she noticed Oh, the sun is coming up. Has the sun always been that purple?

"Daisy, what time is it?" she asked, looking to her left. But Daisy had disappeared. There was a splash, and suddenly Daisy was floating in the pool with her nicest Caftan dress billowing around her. She looked like some kind of mystical sea nymph, or so Y/n thought.

"DJ!" Y/n yelled at her, catching her attention. "I need to go home."

Daisy, of course, wouldn't hear of it. Parties didn't end until she thought they were over. "No, no come on! Just stay a little longer!"

"I can't, I...we have rehearsal in the morning."

Daisy sighed, splashing somewhat disappointedly. "Mkay. Fine," she sighed, swimming over to the edge, "can you at least help me out?"

She held a hand out, which Y/n took. Stupid decision, of course. Daisy just pulled her into the pool, causing an eruption of cheers around them.

As she hit the water, Y/n briefly thought that she had some reason to be upset with Daisy, but she couldn't quite remember why. Within a moment, all discomfort had disappeared, completely forgotten, and she was perfectly ready to stay as long as Daisy wanted.

That was, until she came up for air and saw Billy standing there at the edge of the pool.

For a moment, Y/n just stared up at him blankly. Then, she splashed water on him. He looked at her in confusion and she explained, "I had to make sure you were really there and I wasn't just making you up."

"Y/n, it's time to go." he said.

"Oooookay," she said slowly. "I'll get a taxi in a little bit."

"No, this isn't some kind of courtesy call. It's time to go now."

Y/n huffed in response, swimming over to the side. She was too tired (or doped up) to argue. Really, Billy's presence reminded her that she had a house with her own bed. And she realized right then how much she really, really wanted to be in bed.

"Who told you I was here?" she said as she attempted to hoist herself out of the pool.

"Eddie did," Billy replied, helping her out. "Something about you not knocking."

"That son of a bitch," she muttered. "Where is he?"

"Back at the house. Asleep."

"I want Eddie. Get him here."

"You'll see him in the morning."

Y/n, not satisfied with that answer, pushed Billy away, anger curling her hands into fists. "I don't need you to tell me what to do, Billy. I'm a fucking adult. I know when I've reach my limits."

Billy looked at her. Mascara and eyeliner had traced gray lines down her face. Her hair and clothes were soaking wet, clinging to her, dripping onto the pavement. For a second, the hardened look on her face reminded Billy of the day she wandered into their garage and stole the drum sticks straight from Chuck's hands. She didn't look much older now than she did then.

"Just get in the goddamn car."

"No."

"Get in the car."

"No!"

"Y/n, you're bleeding."

She looked down suddenly and noticed a deep cut on her right hand. She frowned at it, but didn't seem that surprised at its existence. "That was there when I got here."

Billy more or less forced her into the passenger seat of the car, where she hung her hand out of the window, letting the blood drip onto the pavement rather than onto the seats.

In the less than ten minute drive home, Y/n talked until she was laughing hysterically at her own jokes, stuck her head out the window and howled at the moon, and finally sat in silence long enough that she started to cry.

Eddie woke up that night to a book hitting him in the face. He jolted awake, looking around wildly. And then, in the dead silence of his room, Y/n's voice came from the doorway. "Snitch."

She shut the door after that, and he heard her stumbling footfalls down the hallway.

And while that should've been the last time Y/n partied with Daisy, it wasn't. She went the next night, and the night after that. The knocks on Eddie's wall became less and less frequent until they stopped all together.

Daisy became her favorite pastime.

"You're in love with Eddie, right?" Daisy asked. They were both lying on the ground outside at the Marmont, letting their heads hang over the pool so that only their hair soaked in the water.

At her question, Y/n shot up, her wet hair drenching her back with cold water instantly. "What?"

"Oh, sorry," Daisy said, still hanging there. "I just thought...you know..."

Y/n did not, in fact, know. She turned to Daisy, a crease formed between her brows. "Why would you think that?"

Daisy sat up then, her impossibly long hair acting like a weight that she had to struggle against to sit up. "You're always lookin' at him when you're rehearsing. At a certain point it was like...I could count on the fact that when I walked into the studio, you'd be right next to him."

As Daisy spoke, Y/n felt herself frowning deeper and deeper. Eddie...Eddie was her best friend. That was for sure. He was the one she went to when she wanted to talk to someone.

Three thoughts emerged as Daisy talked.

One: I am not in love with Eddie Roundtree.

Two: I'm in love with Eddie Roundtee.

Three: It's so obvious it's sad.

Daisy kept talking, oblivious to her sudden revelation. "I get it, you know? If you really like him, you should just go for it. He's a nice guy, and he looks at you as much as you look at him."

Y/n excused herself then, claiming she felt sick. Well, that was mostly true ― she did feel sick. But not the type of sick that drinking generally made her. The kind of sick that came from thinking too hard, too quickly.

But instead of coming back, she left the Marmont, walking home with bare feet. She was still dripping with pool water, freezing her ass off the whole way home, but she was too deep in her own head to really realize it.

She made it back just as the sun was starting to come up, falling asleep on the couch rather than in her room. She slept fitfully, waking up every half hour or so thinking she had said something in her sleep that she couldn't take back.

The next night, she didn't go back to Daisy's. In fact, when Eddie heard Y/n's bedroom door shut before midnight, he frowned, wondering momentarily if she had just imagined it. Then, to test the theory, he knocked. It was the tune to the newest song by the Kinks. He didn't think too long about the song, really, he just wanted a response.

For a moment, none came. He waited patiently, silently, for any response. There was none.

Sighing, he settled back down on his bed, deciding that that was the last time he'd knock. There was no point in knocking to no response.

But a few moments later, the response came ― this time at his bedroom door.

He paused, sitting up, part of him wondering if he'd completely imagined it. Either way, he had to check. He got up, leaving his bass on the bed, heading to the door. He opened it and Y/n stood in the doorway, hair still wet from a shower.

"Hi," she said quietly.

"Hi."

And then, before he had the chance to say anything else, she stood on her toes and kissed him. He was so taken by surprise that he practically froze as he kissed her back, only to be unfrozen by her pushing him further into the room and kicking the door shut behind them.

EDDIE:  [Pauses. Takes a deep breath] Oh, wow. Um. Yeah, sure. Yes. I did…I did love Camila. But, everyone loved Camila, you know? Maybe it was…at one point I thought maybe…[pauses] it’s not important. The love I had for Camila…it was painful. It was so much stuff that had nowhere to go, so it just sat. Weighed me down. And Y/n was the first person who, I don’t know, made it lighter.

The next morning when Y/n woke up, she was clearheaded for what felt like the first time in years. The sunlight didn't make her head pound, she didn't feel nauseated, and she didn't have to check herself to see if she'd acquired any news injuries from the night before.

When she rolled over, Eddie was there, still asleep. Her lips parted slightly at the sudden reminder that the previous night hadn't been a dream. And the reminder of Eddie's presence next to her reminded her that there were, in fact, several other people in the house.

She sat up and saw Eddie's shirt at the edge of the bed. She reached for it, leaning over and tapping Eddie on the shoulder. "Hey," she said. He stirred a bit. She held up the shirt. "Can I borrow this?"

"'Course." he responded sleepily. "You leaving?"

"Oh, don't worry. I won't be far. Just down the hall" she said with a smile. He laughed slightly at that, and she gave him a quick kiss on the side of his lips. She tried to get up then, but Eddie caught her wrist, pulling her back down to him. He wrapped an arm around her, pressing his lips to hers. She found herself smiling as he kissed her, a chill running down her spine.

Eventually he let her go and she slipped his shirt over her head. She went for the door, pausing before opening it. "We're going to talk about this later, by the way."

Eddie frowned. "What's there to talk about?"

She paused, thinking. "Maybe talk is the wrong word for it."

She gave him a sly smile, causing him to roll his eyes and bury his head in his pillow. She laughed quietly, opening the door as quietly as she could and shutting it behind her. And as she went to walk into the hallways, she saw Warren standing there, a beer can in one hand.

WARREN: She looked at me with this doe in headlights look, and I just knew she was going to ask, so I told her before she had the chance.

"We have thin walls."

WARREN: Man, the look on her face right then. [Laughs] Priceless. I was so drunk the night before, I didn’t hear shit, but one look at her—the messy hair, the smudged makeup—you just knew. I was happy for ‘em. For once it felt like I wasn’t waiting for the shoe to drop, you know? It just…dropped. I was happy for them.

Y/n said nothing to him, simply turning and walking away, causing Warren to chuckle to himself.

Billy and Camila moved out of the house in Laurel Canyon soon thereafter, wanting to have a home to call their own. That left the more, well, irresponsible band members to themselves.

One day, Warren returned to the house to find Graham, Karen, Eddie, and Y/n on the back porch, slumped in chairs, staring at the air in front of them like they were waiting for something.

"What are you guys on and can I have some?"

WARREN: It was mescaline, because of course it was.

"How long does it take to kick in?" Warren asked.

Karen shrugged. "Depends on the person."

A few seconds later, Warren suddenly stood up, stumbling slightly. "Whoa..."

Y/n giggled, then frowned. She moved her head back and forth, side to side, like she was weighing it. "Guys, my head is getting really heavy. Too heavy. How much should my brain weigh? Can brains gain weight? Do I have an overweight brain and I didn't notice it until now?"

"If you had an overweight brain, you wouldn't have failed math." Warren said. "Now, I-I feel on a molecular level, you know, like me and the canyon, we are..." he trailed off, then clapped, "Ha! No, we're the same, man."

Karen laughed. "Warren and Y/n are feeling it, clearly."

Graham laughed, and then suddenly he went slack, eyes wide. "Oh shit..." he put his hand over his stomach, "I can't feel my heart."

As Karen went to make sure his heart was actually beating (which, of course, it was ― he was just looking in the wrong place for it), Y/n turned her attention to Eddie. He was staring at his hands like it was the first time he was seeing them. She looked at her own, waving them in the air like she was trying not to hurt the air.

Y/n and Eddie had kept their, well, for lack of a better word, tryst, from the rest of the band members. Except, of course, Warren who had found out completely by mistake. As Y/n inspected her hands, she let one fall to the side, landing on Eddie's thigh.

He looked at her, eyebrows raised. She bit her lip to hide a smile.

"No, Graham, it's there."

"Karen, I can't feel my heart. It's gone, man."

Y/n slid her hand further up his thigh, trying her best not to giggle at the way he tried to keep his cool under her touch.

"Can-Can we call a doctor or something?"

"Graham. Move your hand up."

Graham frowned, looking down. Then moved his hands to the correct place and, upon feeling his heart beating steadily underneath his palms, sighed in relief. "Oh. Thanks."

Eddie suddenly stood up, startling all of them. Without a word, he took Y/n by the hand, pulling her back inside. Y/n giggled then, already going to unbutton her shirt.

Karen and Graham watched them go in confusion. "What the hell is up with them?" Graham asked as the door shut behind them.

Warren just raised his half empty beer can in their direction. "L'Chaim," the declared, then drank it all in one sip.

Thanks to Honeycomb, The Six had been put on the map. They were touring for their first album with Daisy Jones as their opening act. It was on that tour that they all got their first taste of real fame of screaming crowds and fanatic fans.

Towards the end of the tour, the decision was made that Daisy would join the band, and they would soon become known as Daisy Jones & The Six. After the tour, they were on their way to creating their first album with Daisy on the team.

EDDIE: Things were perfect. Well, I didn’t think they were perfect at the time. I still wasn’t getting along with Billy, I didn’t feel like I had any creative control, I basically felt like a second-class citizen even though I had been there from the beginning. But I had Y/n, and the band was successful. If I had been able to put down my pride and look at my life from a couple steps back, I probably would have thought, damn…this ain’t bad.           I never really guessed how bad things would go downhill after that.

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[anqelically]

heather | kyo sohma x gn!reader

content: no manga spoilers, angst to fluff with comfort, kyo defending his heart by pushing you away :((, inspired by the song "heather" by conan gray

word count: 2.3k

navi | fruba masterlist

kyo sohma was the boy you always chased after.

for someone who always came off as hot-headed and impulsive, you were able to see the soft, vulnerable side within. kyo was an orange, someone you had to peel apart to get what was good, to get what was inside.

a boy who was wronged since he was born for something he never did. they say he’s sinned by simply existing, yet how could the sweet boy that took care of you be a sinner?

you were 5 years old when you met him. he was 6 at the time, and his mother had recently passed away. it was a couple of months later that you met him. you were at kazuma sohma’s dojo when the older man introduced you two to each other.

“kyo, met y/n. y/n, meet kyo. y/n is a year younger, so make sure you take care of them, kyo.”

at first, he didn’t like you. you could tell by his childish glares and the way he crossed his arms every time you came over. it wasn’t until you confronted kazuma that you learned the reason why.

“he’s just scared,” he reassured you, his hand on your back. “he thinks that you’ll eventually take me away from him. and don’t tell him this, but i think he’s scared to befriend you because he thinks you’ll leave. will you, y/n?”

you turned your head to the man, “no… mom left me like his did, so i understand him. i want him to know i won’t leave. how do i do it, kazuma-san?”

that started the time where you never left his side.

as much as you could, you’d always go to kyo first. when people said mean things to him for being the cat, you defended him. when he was alone at the dojo, you tried your best to come over and keep him company.

eventually, kyo warmed up to you.

“y/n is a year younger, so make sure you take care of them, kyo.”

he remembered those words from his master, and he followed them through. when you came over to keep him company, he always made sure to take care of you by making you snacks. and when people started talking about you because you would defend him, he’d yell at them.

“they have nothing to do with this! if you’re going to talk bad about someone, then let it be me!”

you never did anything wrong, so let the world be damned if they thought otherwise.

as the two of you grew up, he continued to think that. however, you didn’t know that. during an encounter after he had run away from seeing a woman he once knew in an accident, he yelled at you.

“GO AWAY!”

kyo was sitting alone in a dark room before you bothered to go inside. your hand, gentle, touched his shoulder. you were going to ask him what happened before screamed at you.

“k-kyo,” you stuttered in shock.

“you never know when to quit,” his body shook. he then clenched his fists, “just leave me alone! you’re always coming back to annoy me… leave…! JUST LEAVE! I DON’T WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE AGAIN!”

he always coped by running away, which is what he did at that moment. he was distancing himself from you. if you were in that woman’s position and said what she did… he’d lose a reason to live. so if he was ever going to lose you, he didn’t want to care. he wanted you far away from him before he fell apart.

you didn’t get to see him until almost a full year passed. since you were a year younger than him, you were also a grade below. you weren’t supposed to, but the head of the family had sent you to go to kaibara, the same school that kyo and other members of the zodiac go to.

things didn’t go well the first time you two saw each other. well, you thought of it that way. you found him in a certain position at the wrong time. and with no explanation, it hurt you more than you thought.

you stood, frozen, at the scene in front of you. it was the first day of being in high school, the same school as him, and you were attempting to find your way around.

it was easy, really. the private school organized classes by their grades or department. you were coming back from the restroom when you saw kyo, his fist resting on the wall behind a brown-haired girl.

the boys the cat zodiac was trying to intimidate had run away, almost bumping into you. as kyo’s eyes followed them, they landed on you. the moment he made eye contact with you, his eyes widened.

no one had told him that you were also enrolling in the school. and after your last confrontation, he never got to talk to you again.

“kyo?” the brunette called, looking between both him and you.

unsure of what to make of everything, you looked down to the ground for a brief moment. your grey hair swept over your face before you left. just like kyo would, you ran away. you didn’t get to hear him call out your name as you did.

the next time you saw him, still the same day, the brown-haired girl was there too. you learned that she was the tohru honda your fellow zodiac had been talking about. besides them, there was yuki, momiji, hatsuharu, and tohru's best friends, uotani and hanajima.

they asked for you to join them in playing, but you turned them down. as you politely bowed down at them in apology, your hands tightly gripped the straps of your bag. you just couldn't bear to stick around kyo.

you knew he didn't want you around, he told you himself. if he was staying, then you thought it was better for you to go.

and as if the world was trying to torment you, you kept on seeing him. as much as you tried to avoid him, gatherings kept on being set up, and you'd often get dragged into it.

one thing you noticed after a while is that kyo didn't make an effort to talk to you. he'd act like he normally did for the most part, but he was a twinge softer than he was before.

what hurt the most is when you saw him smile. oh, that beautiful smile of his. your heart cracked when you recalled that it wasn't for you. he was talking to tohru when he grinned, slightly turning his head away.

again and again, you continued to see tohru make everyone smile and laugh. she had only been sweet to you, yet you couldn't help the feeling of burning jealousy in your heart. kyo pushed you away, yet he let her in. jealousy was ugly, and you hated yourself for feeling it.

with that, you let the distance between you and kyo grow further. despite the storm of feelings in your heart, you pretended like it was all okay. it only took so long for your heart to burst.

your day had already started off roughly after you saw akito in the morning. and to make matters worse, you ended up at shigure's house after school. momiji dragged you over, and now you sat with the older man while kyo helped tohru in the kitchen.

after getting a glimpse, you were sure they were cooking your favorite food. watching kyo cook it with tohru left a sour flavor on your tongue.

"you know," shigure spoke teasingly, "envy doesn't suit you so well."

you peeled your eyes away from the two in the kitchen, "what are you talking about?

he smirked, "oh, you know what i'm talking about. kyo pushed you away, and now you feel like our sweet, little tohru has taken your place. it's written all over your eyes."

"shigure-"

"you wish you were in her spot right now. it seems like kyo has made his choice, and you weren't the answer. it both angers and saddens you, doesn't it?"

“you never know when to quit. just leave me alone! you’re always coming back to annoy me… leave…! JUST LEAVE! I DON’T WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE AGAIN!”

everyone downstairs had jumped when you suddenly slammed your hands on the table. kyo and tohru turned to where you and shigure sat, but you were already running out of the house.

the dog zodiac closed his fan, "oh my, seems like they took that to heart."

"what the hell did you do!?" kyo yelled at shigure.

the man cheekily looked at him, "oh kyo, you seem to care a lot."

"of course i-!" the orange-haired boy stopped mid sentence.

he let out a stressed sigh before he sprinted in the direction you ran off to. things weren't supposed to be like this. today was the day. he's said things, hurtful and untrue, and he wanted to fix it. yet there he was, spending over half an hour searching for you.

it was when he heard a familiar howl that he knew he had found you.

kyo moved towards where it came from to find you, adjusting your shirt. a branch snapped beneath his feet, and you whipped towards him at the sound. the tears that ran down your cheeks glistened underneath the setting sun.

you would've ran away, but kyo was faster. he grabbed your wrist and held you back, catching his breath. he didn't budge as you tried to free yourself. you wiped away your tears before you decided the effort to escape was fruitless.

"why?" you asked. "why are you here?"

"why'd you run away?"

"i asked first, kyo."

"and my question is more important."

with his words, you finally gained the courage to look him in the eye. when you did, kyo could see the clear pain you held. your eyes used to shine when you hung out with him, but now you looked at him with heartache.

“more important?” you repeated. “don’t act like you actually care now. you’re the one that told me that i annoy you. if i did, why would you come to find me?”

“i didn’t mean it, (y/n).”

“is that so?”

kyo gently let go of your wrist, “it wasn’t supposed to be like this… that day, i- i pushed you as far as i could. i’m sorry, i regret it.”

you would’ve made a comeback, but kyo’s sincere eyes captured your attention. he clenched his fist at his side, “all i do is hurt people, and i didn’t want to hurt you. so… i did the first thing i usually do. i pushed you away..”

“and tohru? what about her?”

he looked at you confused, “huh? what does she have to do with this?”

you clenched your fists lightly, knowing that she had everything to do with this. you frowned, “she’s a pretty girl, you know. she’s also been so kind to me too, just like everyone else was saying. i can see why they all cling on to her, why you do the same. she makes you happy, huh…” the horrible feeling of jealousy bubbled inside of your stomach again.

“you think i like her, don’t you?”

it went silent.

of course you did, you thought. tohru was such a sweetheart, so it was no wonder that kyo seemed to be that comfortable around her.

when you couldn’t bring yourself to answer, kyo had sighed. he brought his hand to his face, covering it from you. it was when you were already looking away that he took a peak at you from between his fingers.

you had curled up into a ball on the ground, staring at his shoes. you glanced up at him when he began to take steps towards you. he knelt down to your height and hand your hand. you parted your lips at the action.

“you’re wrong, (y/n). tohru… i only care for her in the way a friend does. her mom, she- i knew her. the one i care about in that way is you. any feelings you think i have for her, i have for you.”

the pace that your heart began to beat at had increased, and the jealousy you felt in your stomach began to dissipate. for years, you thought anything you felt was one-sided. but as he cupped your cheeks, you realized you were wrong. you teared up again, pressing your forehead against his.

“kyo,” you murmured, heart racing, “please say it. i need to hear it from your-“

“i love you, (y/n). i love you and only you,” his thumb brushed over your lip. “after all these years, you’re the only one that’s made me feel like this… like i’m running in circles. it’s always you. now quit it with the tears, you crybaby.”

you let out a laugh, forehead still pressed against his. the cat wiped your tears away from your cheeks gently, even as new ones fell. he pulled your body in close, providing you comfort through a hug.

“so we’re okay now?” you shyly asked.

kyo looked away, “if that’s alright with you… i’m sorry for acting like how i did, truly. i want to stay. i want to stay with you for as long as i can. please, (y/n), let me be selfish.”

“selfish? oh, you’re anything but that,” you pulled away from his hug. a smile graced your face, “but if you see it that way, then i want to be selfish with you. i thought that you wouldn’t ever choose me, but you proved me wrong. i want you, kyo. all of you and what you have to offer. i love you, so please take care of me.”

all he could do is stare at your precious face. with his right hand on your cheek, he had done what he always dreamed of doing. kyo moved his head closer to yours and pressed his lips onto yours. you immediately closed your eyes, basking in the feeling of his slightly-chapped lips.

“even if you stop feeling the same,” he told you, “i’ll take care of you until the end of my days.”

note: AND IT'S FINALLY DONE !! i stopped writing about half-way through and picked up a while after, so i hope any switch isn't noticeable. thank you for the request @supernerdycookietrashblr much love to you xx <3

reblogs are appreciated + join my taglist !

[zialltops]

honeysuckle’s & huckleberry’s

Cowboy!Joel (41) X F!Reader (25) | 22.8k | wip | explicit | 18+ minors dni | enemies to lovers | slow burn | au: no cordyceps outbreak

After four years away at collage, you’re finally home with the tools and knowledge to save your family ranch. That is, if their ranch hand would stay out of your way.

Or: Ranch hand Joel doesn’t know how to handle the return of his bosses prodigy daughter, her snarky little attitude, or her sinfully tight jeans.

a/n: Howdy Ya’ll! The song for this chapter is Shake the Frost by Tyler Childers! Im not going to lie, after three chapters writing from Joels POV, this chapter was hard to get into at first. Ive always had a vision for the different ways they perceive each other and it was realllly fun to paint two different pictures of the same people from each others POV. So without further ado, the moment we’ve alllll been waiting for, I give you honeys POV.

Masterlink

ao3 link | spotify link

4. Shake The Frost

Your life in a nutshell has been…uneventful. Your parents had you into their late thirties, you were their last shot at the child they had always wanted and that was a lot to live up to, being the only surviving member of your family when they are gone and the sole proprietor of the Rising Sun Ranch. It was a lot for one awkward, clumsy girl to take on, but you packed up your bags and moved to the city for just long enough to get a real education in keeping your family's dream alive. When you left this place, you had twenty dollars and a full tank of gas. You had horrible hormonal acne, the same damn braces you’ve had for the past six years and you were the furthest thing from desirable a person could ever get.

You were never very popular in school, but considering your graduating class was a whole eight people, you understood why. Everyone around these parts kept to themselves, passed judgment too quickly and all they ever saw in you was an inelegant, unskilled, ugly little duckling.

Four years away earned you a new outlook on life, the discovery of skincare and a little bit of confidence in yourself, but not nearly enough to hoof it in this cruel world. That's why you found so much comfort in the thought of running home, as much as you would miss your friends from college. Here you weren’t gangly and clueless—you could just be yourself.

Yourself with just…a little bit of alteration. Because two years ago, your mom called you to tell you about the new ranch hands that started working, how much weight it took off their plate. A few weeks later, she told you as much about them as she could, about Joel who was charming and gruff. Tommy, who was kind of strange but a nice boy, how Joel takes care of him and watches out for him. A month after that, your mother calls to tell you how much of a gentleman he is.

Two months later, you call your mom and tell her about the date that stood you up and she tells you how handsome Joel is, how kind his eyes are and how she thinks you would really like him, how much you would hit it off and she wished you’d find someone a little more like that—someone who could appreciate you.

Two years pass the same way, your mom calls you all the time just to talk about Joel and Tommy—you understand it's the most exciting thing that's happened around the ranch in the last twenty years, but the more you talk about it with her, the more you build up this impossible dream about a man you’ve never even laid eyes on. You daydream about going home and meeting him, hitting it off like two old flames. You imagine his eyes in the middle of class and miss half your lecture, you think about the way his voice sounds the few times you accidentally overheard him in the background of your moms calls.

Your best friend and roommate, Melly, tells you that's you’re delusional to make up fake scenarios in your head about a relationship you don’t have with a man you’ve never met, but you’ve already hyper focused on it long before that conversation happens, so getting it out of your head is already out the window by then.

All that build up, all the imaginary things you thought up, the way you’d meet—what you would say to him to catch his attention from the moment he sets eyes on you. All of it is for nothing, because he’s not prince charming like you’d imagined, he’s rude and he left you in the fucking snow to die, when you’d spent so long falling in love with a man that didn’t exist. He avoids you like the plague, like it hurts him to be in the same room with you, thinks you’re this stuck up too good city girl, when you’d been so proud to have your shit together. You’d been so fucking excited to get home and finally put a face to two years worth of ghost like fantasies of a person you didn’t know.

And god did it make you so angry at him, when you’d spent so long wanting to meet him, and he was nothing like you’d expected him to be. What is it about you that repulses him? Every time you leave anything exposed, he’s running away with his tail tucked. You look at him from across the dinner table and he takes his food and leaves. Sometimes you can't help the way your anger gets the best of you, starting arguments just so he’ll talk to you, trying to do things that might impress him even though he thinks you’re the most incapable person in the whole world, apparently.

You help your mom with dinner because you remember her telling you that her chili was Joel’s favorite, so you spent half of the afternoon making it, maybe then you could both move on—something, anything. You watch him from the fridge while he fills his bowl with Tommy and they head off to the dining room. By the time you’ve made your own bowl, hatching a plan to tell him you made this, his spot sits empty and his food is untouched for the rest of the evening.

That night, your dad shows you the statement from the bank, the mortgage is two months behind and they don’t have two nickels to rub together. You cry at the kitchen table for an hour, wondering what you did in a past life to struggle so badly in this one. Of course Joel would catch you there, tear stained cheeks and a desperate desire to curl into that broad chest and sob.

He hightails it out of the house before the real water works come down.

Theres a ache in your chest that doesn’t leave you for days—when you spot him in the stable on Christmas eve, it pounds in your chest worse than ever, it hurts so fucking bad to look at him in that brown coat, that long curly hair and scruffy beard. You want to run out the door across the yard and jump into those strong arms, have him twirl you around in the snowfall and kiss you silly. But that's not plausible, so you turn away from the window and make yourself some hot cocoa to starve off the cold, eating you up from the inside.

On Christmas morning, you watch him shovel from the window of your bedroom, hiding behind the curtain while you think about how much he hates to be around you, he must think you’re so unpleasant and hard to look at, because he never even meets your eyes. It bubbles up so much emotion, you cry angry tears before you can make it out of your room. You wash your face in the bathroom to rid yourself of the evidence and make your way down the stairs.

You’re halfway down the steps when you spot him at the bottom, smiling at himself in the vanity mirror, wearing a goddamned cowboy hat like all your wild fantasies about slipping his hat on your head and riding him until he’s a mumbling mess. You would have changed if you knew he was here—would have put on some clothes so he doesn’t go running out on you again. He takes one look up the stairs at you and your brain goes fuzzy and angry, how dare he look so good when you know you can’t touch, how dare he flaunt it right in your face just to take it away again. Who does he think he is, smiling at you like that when he abandoned the dinner you’d made him at the table the night before?

He tells you Merry Christmas and you want to sock him in the mouth.

You chase him off all on your own this time and the guilt eats you up when you watch him work from the window. He doesn’t stop for a second, just keeps going and going and going while you sit on the couch and listen to Tommy’s insufferable rambling about things you don’t care about. He doesn’t come to dinner, so you make him a plate in the kitchen when your mom comes in behind you. “What are you doing, dear?” You wrap tin foil over the hefty plate and give her a look. “I thought I should bring him dinner…no one deserves to be hungry on christmas.”

Your mom squeezes your shoulder and smiles brightly, waves you off when you head out into the storm with his dinner in your hand.

When you meet him on the porch, sleepy look in his eyes with messy hair, you almost invite yourself inside—hardly fighting off the urge to set that plate down and offer yourself for his Christmas dinner instead.

You're halfway thankful for the half mile walk tugging a one ton heifer behind you, at least this way the cold wills away the throbbing between your legs.

That night, you wrap two fingers in the necklace chain, burry your face in the pillows while you fuck yourself on three fingers wishing they were the man sleeping on your couch instead of your own. You try not to whimper his name when you cum, but it slips right out with a rush of air.

Wanting him—is absolutely killing you.

You want to call it a turning point, finally he can see you as capable of something. By the end of the following two weeks, he’s right back to the way he acted before, but it’s like it’s worse somehow. You come down the stairs with a chipper smile in your favorite pair of Levi’s one morning and he nearly falls out of his chair trying to get away from you. You show up in the stable with your old white straw hat on and he hides in the bathroom for a half hour until you leave, like he’s repulsed by you, like he can’t stand to be around you. Is it something you’re doing? Something you’re wearing? He gets so uncomfortable when you have any skin exposed, you can tell based on the way his eyes will bounce to you then away in a hurry, trying to find something—anything else to keep himself busy. Is it because you're his boss's daughter? Because you’re ugly? Because you’re too young and too inexperienced?

By the end of January, you’ve successfully chased him back to his cabin in the evenings unless you aren’t in attendance. He’s avoiding you again, but at least now you have Tommy, who you would consider a friend, a friend who flirts with you too damn much and drinks way too much alcohol. He’s also lazy and doesn’t take much initiative, Joel does most of the work around here, you’ve noticed. But Tommy listens to you when you talk and he doesn’t run away from you any time you try to make conversation.

This morning, you were in the kitchen when Joel came in, cowboy hat and wranglers that hugged his ass. You walked out of the kitchen in an apron with a bowl of preserved raspberries ready to can. “Mornin’, Joel.” You greeted him with a smile and picked the spoon up out of the bowl. “Want to try some? I’m making jam.” You were about to wash the spoon anyways.

“Uh, no, thank you—I ate this morning.” You shrug and lick the spoon clean with one stripe. Five seconds later, Joel is out the front door with a hurried step, like he can't wait to get away from you. Did your breath stink? Was there something on your face, in your tone? By the time Joel is gone, Tommy comes in like there's a rotating door on the house, constantly filtering out one Miller for another.

“He’s in a hurry.” Tommy laughs, pointing behind him with his thumb. “I think I said something.” You roll your eyes at him and finish off the spoon. “Dang girl, how come you don’t ever lick me like that?” It's a light hearted joke, you know that, but you still slug him in the arm for good measure. “Oh, fuck off, Tommy.” You make your way back to the kitchen to can up the preserves and he follows right behind you. “So I was thinking, Joel is heading into town this mornin’, what do you say we scrounge up some change and grab a bottle of something strong?” You used to drink heavily when you were in college, lots of parties and Friday nights out with friends, but now it's closer to once a month if you’re lucky and you can't remember the last time you were good and drunk. “You know what, lets do it. But you have to ask him.” Tommy makes a pained face and shakes his head. “No, I asked last time—it’s your turn.”

“He’s already pissed at me for no reason, and I don’t even know where he is!” Tommy laughs at you and takes the bowl from your hands. “And besides, I have to pee—why can't you go?”

He pulls the jars out and starts to fill them. “Go ask him and then go pee—I saw him go into the stable.” You huff dramatically and turn on your heel, removing your apron, trying to get rid of your nerves as you head towards the door. What’s he going to do, shout at you? Get angry? Say no? You can handle all of that, you’ve handled it up until now.

When you reach the barn, you search around the stalls with no sign of Joel. Wherever he is, he’s long gone. Whatever you did to him, it was enough to send him running all over again. For the millionth time, you find yourself wishing you could just read his mind, know what it is about you that has him running for the hills any time to approach him.

You pet a few muzzles on your way towards the door, wishing it was spring already so you could ride like you’ve longed to do for the last four years. There's less of a chill today, there hasn’t been a storm in a week, but that’s going to change soon. You could stay out here until Joel shows up, but christ do you need to pee right now, so you take a quick detour to the small bathroom in the corner of the barn. The door doesn’t have a working latch, so it pushes open easily.

You just needed to pee, that's it—just needed to pee but it’s too late by the time the artificial light inside mixes with the sunlight filtering into the barn. Lent over the sink with his hand pressed to the mirror, his other on his cock, stands Joel—his balled up fist working up and back down, those huge hands that look tiny on his dick—holy shit, it’s massive, bigger than you’ve ever seen in real life, bigger than most exaggerated porn videos you’ve watched—he could probably fit both hands around that thing, has to be at least ten inches of just Joel. He must hear your tight gasp, because his hand stills and he whips his head around to look at you, his face flushed with shock and shame. You step away quickly and the door slams shut behind you.

You aren’t sure what it is bubbling up inside of you—anxiety, desire, a bit of curiosity and a whole lot of confusion. You saw him not five minutes ago and he was fine, but now you can hear him scrambling in the bathroom across from where your feet have glued themselves to the floor.

“Fuck! Fuck, Honey, hold on.”

Joel Miller is the most hung man you’ve ever laid eyes on. He’s also the most annoying and hard headed—but all of that flies straight to the back of your mind when he pulls the small door open, having stuffed himself back in his jeans, jesus christ it goes half way down his leg, how does he have any room in there? His chest is absolutely heaving and his face is beat red from embarrassment. “I…I’m sorry, I just needed to use the bathroom.”

His hand reaches down and you follow the movement, how he stuffs it into his pants and adjusts himself. “I can explain—“ you shake your head quickly, eyes bouncing back up to meet his. Fuck, he looks like he’s going to cry right now. “Please spare me the details, I should have…knocked, that's my fault.” What was he doing in the first place? He ran away from you because…because he needed to jerk off? Is that where he’s been going every time he runs away from you?

Did you make him do that? But no—of course not, because Joel hates you, hates you enough to actively avoid you even after buying you the same damn necklace you clutch every night when you sink your hand between your thighs, bite your pillow and attempt to muffle his name on your lips.

Joel doesn’t want you, when you’ve been thrown around every corner trying to hang on to him. He left you in that damn snow and all your mind could think about was how sharp his jaw was, how big his hands were, how angry you were that he robbed you of your fantasy of him.

“I just—I…don’t know what came over me, I didn’t mean for you to see that.” Well of course he didn’t mean for you to see that. “Yeah, no I assumed—I’m the last person you want seeing you—like that. I’m sorry, again.” There's something in his eyes, a deep sorrow woven into his features. “How…how much did you see?”

God, does he really have to go there, when your thighs are pressed as tightly together as you can get them, when heat is pooling between your thighs and you have the urge to run up stairs and lock your door behind you. You reach up for your necklace out of instinct, run your fingers along the chain for an absent sensory input, thinking about the way it feels in your hand when you clutch it for dear life.

“I mean—about all ten inches, I’d say.” Its an easy joke you're hoping will ease the stress of the encounter, but Joel leans back against the walk and his head flops against the wood, eyes closing tight. You take the opportunity to drink your fill, let your eyes really roam over the softening bulge in his jeans. “Nine and a half—I…It’s nothing to…boast about or anything like that. I try not to…let anyone see that.”

See that? The biggest dick you’ve ever laid eyes on? He’s just walking around, hiding it from the world? “Why?” You don’t mean to ask, but how could Joel just walk around all day with a third fucking leg and not tell anyone about it?

“It’s embarrassin’. No one wants anything to do with that, nobody wants to deal with what it entails—I sure as hell don’t. Look, can we please just—please forget this happened? Don’t…tell anyone, please.”

Don’t tell anyone? You can't keep this to yourself? Joel miller, every daydream and fantasy you’ve had for the last two years—you can’t just keep that in if you tried—you have to tell someone. “Yeah, no of course not. This was traumatizing enough for both of us.”

His face drops further and he turns himself away, running his hand over his face—the same hand he just had on his dick—oh, fuck, you have to get out of here before you offer to finish him off, just to see how heavy it would feel in your hands, your mouth, your pussy—“I gotta go—“ you start to head for the door, but you remember why you came in the barn in the first place. “Can me and Tommy come with you to town later?”

He only turns for a moment to gaze at you. His eyes look shinny, his lip is drawn between his teeth because its shaking. Had you really embarrassed him that much?

When he speaks, his voice is tight and wobbly. “Yeah, that's fine.”

You leave as quickly as you came, already pulling out your phone and pulling up your best friend's number. When you get into the house, you make a bee-line for your room, slamming the door behind you while the call goes through. When she picks up on the other end, you’re already rambling. “Girl—hold on, I can't hear you. You’re talking too fast, slow down.”

You take a deep breath, clutch your necklace and try to calm yourself down. “I just walked in on Joel—it was an accident, but dude—dude it was huge.” There's a sharp gasp and a laugh on the other end of the phone. “Wait like, you walked in on him and someone?”

“No—I walked in on him jerkin’ off in the bathroom, he…ran away from me again this morning and Tommy came in right after, asked me to ask Joel if we could go to town with him and when I went to look for him, he was in the bathroom with his hand on literally the biggest dick I’ve ever seen.” Melly, on the other end, is laughing her ass off at you, trying her best not to snort at your bad luck. “This isn’t funny! He was so embarrassed, Mel—he said he doesn’t show it to people!”

She huffs on the other end of the phone. “Then how does he fuck anyone?”

And—well… “I never thought about that. Maybe he just…doesn’t? He seemed so ashamed, I don’t know what on earth there is to be ashamed of.” Ashamed of being blessed? Ashamed you walked in on him? Maybe it was because it’s you and you’re the last person he wants seeing him naked.

“Alright, let me get this straight—he ran away from you and five minutes later you found him beating his meat in the bathroom?” For lack of better words, well, yeah.

“Yes—that’s basically what happened, but it was more like three minutes? Because I wasn't far behind him.”

The silence on the other end of the phone is deafening, then Melly clears her throat. “Have you considered the idea that he runs away from you because you turn him on?”

You? You turn him on? You with your awkward posture and too gangly features? You can't even turn a car on half the time, let alone a grown man like Joel Miller. “Not a chance—he hates me, Mel, we’ve been over this.”

“You’ve been over this—you say he hates you all the time when maybe this whole time he thinks its you that hates him.” But that can't be true, because Joel can’t stand being around you. He hated you from the moment he saw you, hated your stupid fucking shoes you don’t wear anymore, hates that you went to college and lived in a big city and don’t let people walk on you. He hates you because you wanted to look pretty for him and he told you to crawl back to whatever place you came from, not even knowing that place was filled with longing to meet him. “No, you have to see it for yourself. You’re still coming down here for my birthday, right?” It’s in the middle of February, when the snow starts to subside.

She tells you that she is, but that she has to get back to work, so you hang up the phone and let yourself sink into the mattress. Its a lot to process—Joel running away from you to…masterbate, catching him in the act—that dick, Christ, even if you want to fuck him, you aren’t even sure if you’d be able to take him. A little deep dive into the internet tells you that you absolutely can—if you work up to it. With ample time and stretching, you’d be able to work up to that, and should it ever happen, you want it to be easy for him, after all, he seemed so ashamed that you’d seen him like that. He said he doesn’t show people, so that must mean it’s been a while since he’s had sex. That in and of itself, makes your heart ache from him—no matter how much he pisses you off, no one deserves to have the ability to receive pleasure stripped from them for merely having a larger—uh, tool. It’s not his fault he was born that way.

A few wrong turns on amazon and you find a (within your budget) toy that's, you guessed it—nine and a half inches and by the looks of it, the same girth as Joel. There is no other option for you but to purchase it—express mail straight to your doorstep.

And even if you never stand a chance with a six-foot towering cowboy, you can at least pretend for the rest of your life. Maybe that will finally starve off your want, fill that void you’ve had for the last two years longing for a made up man and this version of Joel wearing his skin.

It’s a few more agonizing minutes of thinking about the way he’d looked at you in the mirror when you’d spotted him in that bathroom, before you can actually track back to the before, how into it he was—working himself over quickly with a rough calloused hand and his ragged pant.

Fuck it—you have time, lots of time—Joel is probably going to avoid you for half the day before he heads to town, that is—if he even tells you he’s leaving. So you do what you're best at, roll yourself over to bury your face in the pillow while you sink your hand past your waistband and get to work. Its easy to picture something still so fresh in your mind, the way his shoulders heaved when he drew in a breath, how he would probably feel in your hand, your mouth, you’ll have to practice that too, how he’d probably hold you down and tell you to take it. He’d probably be ravenous if he could get past the hatred part. How long has it been since he’s been inside of someone?

You sink your teeth into the pillow and try to retain the sharp whine in your throat, but when you picture his disdain for you morphing into desire, the way the two would clash together in the most impossible way—it’s easy to bring yourself right to the edge. Easy to let yourself drift into that full bodied bliss that shoots up your spine and blooms at the base of your skull. God, the things he would probably say—the filthy fucking words that were made for that accent—the way he’d call you—

“Honey?”

“Amph-“ your eyes shoot open but its too damn late, that twangy southern draw sounds so fucking good saying your name like that and it’s the final straw, deep shadows of your relief robbing the vision from your eyes as they roll back, hand stilling with just the faintest of muffled whimpers to follow it. Yeah—he’d say your name just like that—just like he did on the other side of your locked door while you get off to the sound of it.

Your first big draws of air when you start to come down are into the pillow, trying your best to stifle the ragged way your lungs fill with oxygen until you’ve caught back up with yourself.

“We’re headin’ out in a few, if you're comin’.”

You pull your hand away and jump off your bed, trying to fix your hair and pull yourself together. One glance in the mirror tells you that this is as good as its going to get. You pull the door open and he’s already trying to find anywhere to else to put his eyes than on you, on your tight workout leggings and crew neck sweater—you aren’t anything special and you just saw his dick a half hour ago, so you understand why he wouldn’t want to look. “I was just, uhm—doing a workout zoom with my friend, you ever done one of those?”

God, did you just say that out loud? A fucking workout zoom, its no wonder this man wants nothing to do with you. “A…zoom workout? No—I get my cardio in before the sun's up. Real fuckin’ weird world you come from.” He turns his body slightly, like he’s trying to make his way out of this conversation but he doesn’t quite know how, so you lead the way. “I’ll just get my shoes on and I’ll be right down.”

He turns back and this time he does look at you, but it's at your feet, then a swift bounce up to your eyes. “You’re wearing shoes.”

One glance down and what do you fucking know—you are wearing shoes—stupid fucking shoes you suddenly hate. You hate that you can't get a single thought through your head when it's swimming in dopamine and adrenaline. Hate that he’s taken up so much space in your brain you can't think straight anymore. “If you don’t want to go because you’re…uncomfortable, you don’t have to stall so that I’ll leave. You can say it.” He holds his chin up bravely, you have to give him props for that. Thirty minutes and he can still hold his head up with dignity when he feels like he needs to stand up to you, but does he have to do it so accusingly? When did you give him the impression that you wanted to stay behind? When you’d asked him if you could go not two minutes after seeing him white knuckling it in the bathroom? When he knocked on your door and talked you through an orgasm without even knowing?

“Why do you always do that?” You cross your arms and feel that attitude creeping up on you. “Do what? Spare myself the humiliation?” The humiliation like he’s not staring you down fresh off a mind boggling orgasm. “No, decide what I’m feeling for me—what the fuck gives you the right to make up my mind for me?”

This bastard, who can pull an argument out of you in an instant—when you’d just been thinking nice things about him. “I’m coming with. Tommy’s promise of hard booze is sounding better and better by the minute.”

He huffs at you and it's all you get for a response. You follow him down the stairs and out to the truck, Tommy is waiting down stairs with a confused look, but you shake your head at him and he tails behind you on the way out the door. Joel moves fast across the snow covered yard, climbing in the already running truck with a slam of the drivers door. “What’s his problem?” Tommy makes a face at you when you stop at the tailgate of the truck. “He’s not in a good mood.” Tommy nods his head and walks over to the passenger door. “Course he isn’t, why would he be?” There's a laugh and he opens the door for you, but he doesn’t get in first—he makes you sit beside Joel, with his knee bouncing and his knuckles white on the steering wheel. He won't look at you, but you can tell he’s riddled with anxiety right now. When Tommy squeezes in beside you, you find yourself pressed up against Joel, from shoulder to his solid thigh.

The drive is uneventful because Joel turns on the radio and he doesn’t say anything. Not for the whole twenty five minute drive, Joel doesn’t make a sound, so you and Tommy sit in the uncomfortable silence and try to ignore the way his fingers tap and flex against the steering wheel. When you get into town, you give Tommy all the money you were able to scrounge up and he runs into the liquor store close to the feed store. You were going to sit in the truck and wait, but Joel leans against the door frame with his hands perched on the roof and his cowboy hat blocking the run from your eyes. “Since Tommy’s preoccupied, you’re gonna have to help me.”

Help him? You? “I have three hundred pounds of feed to load, unless you're afraid you’ll break a nail.” Does he have any idea how that works, that you don’t have long fake nails anymore like you did in college? “Well, I guess it's a good thing they are already busted then.”

Helping Joel load the truck means you get to watch him work, carrying two feed bags to your one, but his shoulders bulge when he lifts and you nearly have to cross your legs to push away the nagging thought. He probably looks so damn built under all those layers, beneath that Carhartt. By the time the truck is loaded, Tommy is back with a half gallon of bottom shelf whiskey that looks like a hangover just waiting to happen.

Joel doesn’t give the bottle a second look, but the ride home is just as quiet as the drive there.

It isn’t until later that night when you and Tommy crack open the bottle. It’s dark, but Joel is nowhere to be seen when Tommy makes a fire in the pit out front of the cabin. Your parents went to bed early and the last thing you wanted to do was keep them up, so you took the long walk to the cabin with a few blankets to keep you warm until the whiskey kicks in.

Thirty minutes of having your feet propped up by the fire while you pass the bottle back and forth and Joel finally comes into view, his hands stuffed in his pockets as he tries to walk straight past the two of you. “Come on man, can’t you join us? Sit by the fire with your brother?”

The older man shoots him a look, one you can't read but Tommy obviously does. “Come on, Joel—Tommy’s going to make me drink all of this by myself.” He steps onto the porch with his back turned, wiping the snow off his boots. “I don’t drink anymore.” Is the only response he gives. Like you hadn’t seen him drunk off his ass before.

Another hour passes before you see Joel again and by that time the half gallon is half empty, sitting between the two of you while you giggle and laugh about stupid humor Joel would probably huff at. Can someone remind you why it's the broody brother you want? Not the slightly asshole-ish one who knows how to take a joke? Tommy doesn’t exactly do it for you—not your type, no drive, no motivation—but he is Joel's brother, the closest thing you ever get to having the real thing.

You wonder if he’d fuck you like Joel would—they are brothers, so Tommy has to be just as well endowed at Joel, right?

Right on que, like he could hear you thinking about him, Joel comes out and stands behind your chairs. “Think you guys have had enough. Last thing I need is to be up all night because Tommy’s pukin’.”

He gives the emptying bottle a tap with his foot and you glance up at him. “Oh, come on, Joel—why are you always such a fun sucker? You just hate seeing people smile, is that it? Is it bad for maintaining your shitty mood?” Tommy laughs beside you and you ride off that chuckle, but not for long. “And here I thought alcohol would make you plaint, but I guess it just makes you more of a bitch.”

If your head wasn’t swimming in booze right now, you’d probably swing at him, but you aren’t coordinated enough for that right now, so you settle on a hard glare. “I don’t know man, I think I have a good idea of how she gets when she’s drunk.”

Joel's eyes shoot over to him like he already knows exactly where this is going. “Bet you get real feisty, huh? Whiskey always makes girls want it—get’s um horny.” When he talks, he’s looking straight at you—if Joel wasn’t standing right beside you, you probably couldn’t have the courage to hold his younger brother's gaze like that. You want it right now, god you do, but not from the brother that's asking.

“You’ve got no idea,” you tell him and Tommy smirks at you, then up at his brother who’s gone stiff. “Is it me or him? Because this one doesn’t look too willing to give you any kind of sugar.”

Joel downright growls at his brother. “Knock it the fuck off, Tommy—she’s a lady.” A lady that wants him to bend her in half and stuff her full right now—no matter how much it might hurt. “No she ain’t! A lady doesn’t drink half a bottle and want to fuck.”

There's a hard thud behind you and when you look at Tommy, he’s holding the back of his head where Joel smacked him. “I’m walkin’ her home.” He tells his brother, but doesn’t once ask what you want. It’s been too long, been way too long since someone touched you—and it might be the alcohol in your system or the desperation for a Miller that sends you down this path, but both directions lead you to the same destruction.

“Like fuck you are! You aren’t my dad, Joel—you don’t get to decide what I want all the time. If I want to drink half a bottle and fuck your brother, then you’re going to have to suck it up and listen through the damn wall.”

Joel’s look of anger quickly morphs into something you’ve never seen on Joel Miller—fear. Oh—yeah, you struck a nerve on that one. What does he think? You’re going to soil his baby brother? Does he really look down on you that much, that he’s afraid of you sinking your claws into Tommy? You don’t want Tommy, you want Joel, but you’ll never have that—so you grab Tommy by the hand, yank him up until he’s standing on equally wobbly feet before pulling him down to meet your mouth. He tastes like whiskey and it's nothing to write home about. There's no electricity, no real desire on your part. But you know you hit your mark when there's hard footsteps headed towards the house and a hard slam of the front door.

Tommy gets into it fast, his hands on your hips and his teeth nipping at your lips like he’s as desperate for you as you are for his brother. “Let’s go inside,” he hums and you agree—you’re already this far and you want to make Joel feel what you’ve felt for the past twos months, all this anger and bitterness, why the fuck doesn’t he want you like you want him.

“Do you think he’ll hear us, through the wall?” Tommy pulls away and makes a face of confusion. “Do you want him to?”

Do you? Want him to hear the way you could moan and gasp for him? The way you could beg him for more, deeper, harder? Absolutely. “Yeah—I want him to hear it.”

It's a rough and awkward tumble to his room, you fall against the wall and Tommy does his best to keep you up straight. The door beside Tommy’s room is closed and the light is off, but you can't hear anything inside.

You try not to think—try your hardest not to imagine Joel instead of his brother, but it's a futile attempt. All you can see right now is Joel with his cock in his hand lent over the bathroom sink and how much you wanted to get on your knees for him right then and there. “Can I suck your dick?” Tommy groans from where he stands at the end of the bed, you propped against his pillows, both of you in the midst of discarding your clothes. You get down to your panties and underwear by the time Tommy is left in just his briefs. “Yeah-fuck yeah, you can.”

It’s good, it’s working for you—until he drops his underwear and you’re left…underwhelmed. “You aren’t as big as him?” If it wasn’t for the alcohol in your system, you probably wouldn’t have said it in the first place—but how could you not? He’s half the size of his brother, if you’re being generous. He’s still decent sized, you’ve had bigger, but you cant help the pang of disappointment that you won't be able to pretend just for now.

“I—no, wait you saw it?” You wince and Tommy pulls his boxers back up, suddenly the room is filled with something other than desire. “It was an accident—I didn’t mean to, but I just thought…you’re brothers and all.”

Tommy sighs, turns himself and sits down at the end of the bed with his head in his hands. “You don’t want to do this with me.” He says. “I didn’t say that—“ he shakes his head at you and turns enough to look at you. “You’re disappointed that my dick isn’t as big as his—you don’t want this with me. I don’t want to fuck you while you’re imagining my brother.”

Okay—ouch, that one stung. But you can't argue a point because you have no truth behind it even if you tried. You were going to imagine him—press your hands to the wall and imagine you were on the other side of it. “I’m sorry, Tommy…It’s not you, I promise…you’re a good friend and you’re a nice guy, I just…”

He smiles at you and it eases some of your anxiety. Tommy might not be Joel, but he is a good friend. “It’s okay, I can see it…Don’t think I could take somethin’ that's already his.” But you aren’t, his, after all. He doesn’t look at you like that, doesn’t want you—doesn’t want to touch you like this when he’s so busy despising you.

“He doesn’t want me like that, Tommy.”

Doesn’t want to see you like this in his bed, half naked and begging for him. “How do you know that?” You fiddle your hands with the band of your underwear, where a string is fraying on the edge. “He hates me…can’t even stand to look at me, he’s made that pretty clear.”

Tommy chuckles slowly and tosses you his shirt. “I wouldn’t be so sure about that, Honey. Try, you might surprise yourself.”

You pull the shirt on and curl up on the pillow, letting your head swim in the whiskey that's starting to take its toll on you now. “Sleep in here tonight, won't try anything—I promise.”

He takes the spot beside you and you smile sleepily, pulling the blanket over the top of you. “Thanks Tommy.”

Sleep comes easy when you’ve drank as much as you have tonight and you try not to think about the other side of this wall.

In the next room, Joel sits fully clothed at the end of his bed with his head in his hands, trying his damndest to stop the tears burning his eyes and tracking down his face.