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thewhumpcaretaker · 4 months

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You are one of my new favorite writers so I thought I’d ask you. Which do you think would be more traumatic for my female MC in a story I’m working on? It’s going to be pretty heavy either way so I’m going to have to come up with a whole new pseud.

Storyline A: She runs away from her strict religious community with a sort of antiheroic drifter she falls in love with and starts having consensual sex, but she’s only 15 and he’s about 25. (It is post apocalypse so no police or laws.) Then about a year later he is killed and she grieves. But thanks to him she is a badass fighter when she runs into a warlord who tries to capture and rape her. Instead she kills him and frees all his captives, one is a young man who becomes her new love when she nurses him back to health.

Storyline B: She never went with the drifter guy because he thought she was too young, she still grieved him when she found out he died. But because she refuses to marry any of the men in her community, she is still a virgin at 20 when she is kidnapped, kept in a cage, threatened with mutilation and raped by the warlord who she thinks is physically hot, but hates. Eventually she escapes and kills him similar to storyline A. The young man is the same only this time they fell in love while they were both captives instead of after she rescued him.

I am going for maximum angst/whump factor here so which would be worse?

TW: discussion of SA and how it can be written ethically or unethically, including examples

So my answer is going to be a little complicated here, because I can imagine two things that you may mean when you talk about writing these scenarios. The first is that you plan to have actual, on-page sex between these characters (side note: please don’t describe that as “consensual” in either case because a 15 year old cannot consent, but I hope you just mean that she technically agreed to it so I’m gonna skim over that part and give benefit of the doubt that it’s just a wording issue). Anyway, in that case, I would not consider this fic to be ethical in either scenario, because it can potentially create material for real predators to read and enjoy, no matter how it is framed. We have to be a lot more careful with SA than with other kinds of whump. Especially a direct, onscreen account of her being physically attracted to the perpetrator…that’s something I don’t see any need to put on the page, and both your scenarios include that.

I would suggest looking at BG3’s Astarion Ancunin as an example of how whump related to SA can be handled respectfully. Astarion’s backstory is that he was a vampire thrall compelled to do sex work against his will for 200 years and probably (though it’s never stated outright) assaulted by his master too - a huge and horrifying amount of sexual trauma. We see him have nightmares, lash out, struggle to trust people, struggle with physical touch, struggle to differentiate his real sexual pleasure from his sense of obligation, and much more. There’s a huge list of heartbreaking scenarios that can be used as inspiration as Astarion deals with what he’s been through. I go feral thinking about Astarion - the angst is so heavy and the healing is so cathartic and I can personally relate to it. A lot of his story was influenced by his voice actor, Niel Newbon, who is a survivor himself. But at no point are Astarion’s experiences of SA directly shown. They don’t need to be. The suffering that comes from SA comes primarily from the way it messes with a person’s sense of bodily autonomy and how they relate to their own desires. No one needs to know what the body parts are doing.

Okay, second thing you might mean: you already plan for both of these to be backstory or offscreen events and you will focus on how those experiences affected her (so basically I just lectured you for no good reason lol). I think the first storyline is more cohesive, because it shows her rescuing someone else who is about to go through similar trauma to what she just experienced, and she gets to do what she wishes someone had done for her, saving her former self in a way. To me, cohesive emotional arcs makes whump more satisfying whether or not it’s the worst possible thing that could happen. I would say that an emotionally impactful scraped knee can feel more dramatic than a whole year of saw-style torture, because for me, whump is all about catharsis. How does the catharsis come in? How do repeating themes show up and what do your characters take away from that? What empowers them to feel that things can be different this time around, or what makes them feel doomed and hopeless as events repeat themselves?

Even then, I really have to stress that this is tricky material and creating a pseud doesn’t negate the potential harm you could do, it just takes away social consequences. Tag appropriately, look at accounts from real survivors if you haven’t experienced something like this yourself, and carefully consider what you’re trying to say with this fic.

Thank you for enjoying my writing and for reaching out. It means a lot to think that I am a favorite writer for someone!! I hope this didn’t come off as harsh - I always try to explain this stuff just in case someone hasn’t thought about it. It’s an issue that's close to my heart.

#// assault #// discussion of sa

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boyfhee · 1 year

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i woke up, went on tumblr.com like one does, and the first thing i see is “to you, with love” reblogged for me.

so i closed the app. screamed a bit into a pillow. and came back to write this.

THE THING IS.. i read that work, im pretty sure i even left an ask but it was more shy, timid (?)in a sense - “thank u, this was beautiful ,i cried.”cuz i was overwhelmed lol <- the lol is to make is seem more causal as if my heart didnt feel like it was punched ^^

but i remember vividly going through heeseung hashtag and seeing this for the first time.. and the title was cute, i was like “oh fluff”. i had not read the genre or warnings notes before diving into it….

so u can imagine my reaction to this sentence…

“however, heeseung’s death changed that for you.” BTW ofc the best time to read angst its dead into the night with taylor swift playing on my headphones :>

if i remember correctly, you deleted it (?) and then posted it again? i read it the very first time it was uploaded. this might have been a changing point cuz i didn't read angst.. not in it full potential like that before this and know im knees deep

i finished reading it. and time kinda froze. the concept of hearing the voice of the love of your life. when things were good, were fine. i wept. BUT hearing them talk about what future could hold for both of u? knowing what u know now? literally curled with my phone in my hand and bawled my eyes out

promises… the forever heartbreaking factor of life.. what are they? meant to be broken or kept.. maybe neither.. i hate them… they give false hope for those who long and yearn to be reassure and make u believe that a single person could hold such a power over the universe… well, heeseung certainly couldn't.. no matter how genuinely his heart was beating while he said “forever”

wow, im in my feels again, i just loved it, truly loved it and cherished it for so long, in my own little world with spiraling thoughts about this,

thank u thank u thank u thank u!!!!!!!!!!! ur works mean the world to me

im sorry for making u sad with my ask, but i cant help it :] u made me feel too much !!!!!!!!!!

i loved the poem. the flashbacks from the fic hit me like a truck. whats ur favorite poem? ^^ i would love to read some if u have a recommendation

thanks for the little career stuff note, i appreciate it a lot truly

thank u in general, ure the coolest writer, love u too

ps. hee angst ?? i might die tho

- > swift anonie ♡♡♡

ANON MAY I INTEREST YOU IN ANOTHER THOUGHT I HAD . about 'to you, my love' being set after 'if lovesick was a person' 😁😁 IT FITS SO WELL im so devastated actually . and that's why they tell u to read the warnings but who am i to say bc i straight up jump to the content ( i like surprises ) also i didn't delete it, my brother deleted my whole acc before i remade under the same user and reposted it 😭 oh but im so honoured that was the beginning of your angst reading arc, you should not be missing out on such a genre

and ur thoughts on promises, umm i can't say you're all wrong but i think they can serve as a driving force to do something? like some sort of motivation, or a reason idk . obvs, not saying that empty promises should be made. actually i dont have any opinion here, head empty. please never apologise for sending sad asks or wtv, i enjoy reading ur thought processes ure really really cool 🫵💗 as for poem recs hmm; i wandered lonely as a cloud by willian wordsworth, cadabianca by felicia dorothea hemans, la belle dame sams merci by john keats, rain before dawn, on a play twice seen and marching streets by fitzgerlad ( anything by him and emily dickinson is worth reading ) that's all i have on the top of my head

and no, thank u for taking ur time to write these asks, you're even cooler than me fr ☝️

#—swift anon.#do i feel bad for corelating tywl with ilwap? mayb #but it just fits okay i love it

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probably-haven · 3 years

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How Visions Work(Theory)

genshin spoilers

there’s a lot of headcanons about the effect of visions on the body temperature of the characters with pyro or cryo visions but a lot of them stop there an i want to propose we take it one step further

so the general agreement is that pyro users run hot and cryo characters run cold but imma take a moment to talk about the science of that real quick.

if something feels warm, its because the object is expelling heat from itself to its outside environment(itself losing warmth) if something feels cold, its because it’s absorbing and taking the heat from the outside environment into itself(itself gaining warmth)

which actually matches up pretty well with how i believe their visions work which ill cover before getting into what i think that means

pyro visions work by absorbing the users body heat and before then expelling it into the environment when they wish to use it. When the vision reaches what is essentially its max storage capacity, it resumes working at normal, absorbing heat from the user until it’s used, but at this point it stabilizes, because the pyro energy built up within begins overflowing into the nearby environment, a majority of it returning to the user to keep their body temperature from getting too dangerously out of wack. But by passing through the vision, the body heat is converted into pyro energy and made more intense, so the surplus tends to linger around the user, hence the heat that can be felt when touching or around them. the user can then use their powers with either the pyro energy stored in the vision, or that which still lingers around them.

cryo visions on the other hand work in a bit more of a complicated manor. like pyro visions and other visions, most of the energy that they get is from interaction with the user, in this instance, steadily taking heat from the environment that would have naturally have been observed by the vision had it been any other inanimate object and passing in through the vision and into the user, the process creating of the heat leaving the vision creating cryo energy, a sort of anti-heat vaccuum-like substance, which once it reaches it’s max, overflows in a way similar to the pyro vision, leaking into the nearby environment, helping to balance the user’s body temperature while the remainder lingers around them, absorbing heat from the environment. the user can then use the energy stored in the vision(less than pyro because more steps means less room) or that which still lingers around them (more because less room means more over flow), plus they need more surplus in order to balance cuz their temperature is more volatile

visions do however possess the ability to begin expelling energy early should the user’s body temperature become too dangerous, an ability that is missing from delusions of the corresponding element

this leads me to have a few headcanons that i really like because im obsessed with angst

1. contrary to what you might believe, after using a significant amount of their powers, Pyro users are are absolutely cold to the touch(cuz the lack of surplus energy leaves nothing to disguise or raise their low body temperature as the constantly absorbing heat to refuel) and Cryo users feel hot (the lack of surplus energy doing nothing to disguise or lower their high body temperature as the vision is constantly having to expel surrounding heat into the user in order to refuel cryo energy)

2. however during this state they are also the least likely to leave behind traces of elemental energy(like those that can be seen with elemental sight)

3. this cycling of energy actually makes a vision behave more like a part of the user that also serves its own role in maintaining homeostasis (makes it so losing a vision is quite literally comparable to losing an organ)

4. until the vision has enough stored energy for surplus to linger, Cryo users are prone to over heating and Pyro users are prone to the opposite

5. this rapid and common changing of internal body temperature also tends to weaken their immune systems

6. the lingering surplus of energy is also more easy to manipulate than the stored energy, so while it lingers, it has a tendency to be easily influenced by the user’s emotions.

7. yes this means accidentally freezing and setting things on fire during emotional extremes, or more subtle effects for those that are less extreme

8. in dragonspine, Cyro users are actually weaker but healthier. The lack of heat to cycle through their vision and body means less cryo energy is created, but less heat is there to build up in their bodies

9. Pyro users on the other hand- are in real big danger, unless they made sure to have large amounts of elemental energy before hand. They take longer at the torches they like because they need every bit of heat to raise their naturally low temperature and to make more pyro energy to both light the next torch, and to constantly have enough surplus that it doesn’t just steadily drain all the pyro they have.

10. a lot of the pyro users are overly energetic and active and move around alot, which is known to raise body temperature, and whould help with this, then there’s hu tao who while energetic is not all that active, but i think her job of “guarding the border” makes her more tolerant of the low body temperature. similar to yanfei’s constitution as an adeptus. Bennet is energetic but doesn’t move around quite as much and all, but... his luck is bad enough that he just thinks everyone feels like/has to deal with that. and Diluc- we’ve all seen the fluffy jacket. Klee constantly setting grass on fire and otherwise being hyper. Amber, gliding champion of mondstad, “i feel like running” Amber. Yoimiya is pretty active and works around fire. I dont have Xinyan so i dont know for sure in her case but i assume it fits the bill.

11. as for cryo characters- Qiqi is a zombie and Ganyu is half adeptus, different constitution. A lot of the characters are or try to be more calm and level headed, known for being kind of “slackers” to use kaeya’s words, though by this i mean they dont do excessive physical activity outside of training and that which is necessary. Diona is a bartender, often staying in one place, the opposite of pyro, keeping her body temperature down. Ayaka rarely leaves the kamisato estate. Chongyun is complicated- more on him later. Rosaria known for shirking her church duties and being basically lazy, the same as Kaeya. And Eula- i actually dont have an explanation- maybe just... the training to endure- like that one test where you have to walk through dragonspine all fancy without being thrown off.

now as for Chongyun

him with his popsicles and yang energy, needing to maintain a cool body temperature at all times as a result of his constitution

i mentioned a failsafe of visions, where should their users’ body temperature lean to dangerously to any one extreme, the vision will begin releasing the stored elemental energy early.

Chongyun’s however doesn’t store energy at all, instead immediately expelling all cryo energy it makes as soon as it forms so it can immediately absorb any dangerous body heat that Chongyun was exposed to in it’s making. This means that the surplus energy(the type more likely to be accidentally manipulated by emotions) around Chongyun is more than most other cryo users would have.

however, the balance is really fragile because his temperature is kept from getting out of hand almost entirely by his vision so external factors are extremely dangerous, as there is a still a cooldown between the transfer of heat the release of cryo energy- so unexpected sources of heat can cause a rapid rise in already fragile temperature that runs its course and wreaks havoc on the childe before the cryo energy is able to balance it out- and the problem is- with the surplus being easily manipulated by emotions, the sudden rise in temperature has a tendency to activate it, using it up and leaving him without a source of temperature regulation, which only worsens the problem. at which point the vision probably begins storing cryo energy until theres enough built up to reset his body temperature in one go- which usually ends with him passed out.

anyways i had a lot more planned to write but if i kept going i fear how long it’d get- i just think it has potential to evolve into a lot of cool things and theories for how the world works, and reflect the archons..... let me explain that-

so assuming anemo energy is created bey absorbing and then renewing the oxygen in the user’s blood, as opposed to dangerous body temperatures, it tends to have an anemic affect on their wielders, hence why all the anemo vision users have this tired air to them, Xiao’s... Xiao-ness- he just looks exhausted, Jean’s constant exhaustion that totally isnt made any better by her workload, Kazuha’s general calm relaxed disposition, and sucrose’s general demeanor- idk i just think anemo vision wielders give off anemic vibes, until they have enough surplus for the taken oxygen to replenish

except for venti- who doesn’t actually use a vision, who is literally a wind sprite, made of air- always running around and being all energetic- because he doesn’t face these problems- if anything he has extra energy and air to use. He’s basically the opposite. (windrise may have some weight in this-)

which means other archons may model this-

im not sure about geo but with electro

assuming that the constant transfer of electricity through the user’s body would eventually have a frying effect that shortens their lifespan over time(an idea largely inspired by Lisa’s voice line on visions and other theories on it) then Baal’s steady eternity serves as another opposite to this and yet pursuing eternity it becomes odd that she would give visions at all, so i feel archons must get some benefit from giving visions or she wouldn’t have done it-

but anyways imma stop now- hopefully someone found this interesting and runs with it, but if not it makes sense too

... actually geo might have something to do with an erosion-like metaphor, similar to what was brought up in the azdaha fight

still thinking about hydro tho, and im not even gonna bother with dendro

....

..... can you tell that I kin Sucrose and Albedo yet? It’s not even funny istg it’s becoming a problem .... actually scratch that i have a dark sense of humor, its kinda pretty funny

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naiive-and-starry-eyed · 2 years

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For the duo thing: Mergwaine, LonelyEyes, Akaza & Rengoku (is that the right guy?), Ciel & Finny, and Rohan & Koichi 💕

Thank you for the ask bestie!!!! And yes that is the right guy ❤️

Okay okay here we go

I love Mergwaine so much! @zounds-a-blog and I were on top of this one when we watched it together 😤 it's a great ship and I think the fandom is blinded by merthur that they don't consider a lot of other ships for Merlin, which is a shame since this one is so good!! I say it's better in fics just because we don't get to see Gwaine a whole lot with Merlin on the show, so it's fun to see the Situations they go through in fic. Especially give me ones where Gwaine goes off on Arthur for not appreciating Merlin ESPECIALLY cause he knows about Merlin's magic *chefs kiss*. They work whether it's a besties ship or romantic ship, they have the range

This is THE ship baybee!!! It's the template for they can make each other worse and I love to see it ❤️ the comedy is incredible but also the angst factor is so very good because what if Elias actually starts to care about Peter but haha whoops Peter is a Lonely avatar but can't love! Or can he 🤔 They really are JonMartin but make it evil and I absolutely love that for them. They definitely have a cat that they have shared custody of and it transfers between divorces. The cat is evil too btw. The ship makes me lose it and I'm vibing at all times

*chews concrete* THEM okay so the first I watched the train arc with my bestie it was like 3 am and I was kind of tapping out but going back and rewatching the two of them and also seeing posts and consuming fic, this pairing is prob second to lonelyeyes for me. They're so good, the angst is SO easy to write and think abt and I love them your honor. Wasted potential cause if Kyojuro would have become a demon (either willingly or even better UNWILLINGLY) we would have had it all. These two bother each other so much and Akaza is a huge simp who falls in love at first sight and doesn't know how to express his feelings so kills the person he loves sent tweet

I love these two so much!! ❤️ I've never considered them as a ship, but I can def see them being platonic! They both have Gone Through It ™ but Finny has kept his childish whimsy and zest for life that Ciel desperately needs, so this is a case of where they can fix each other!! Rn I think the dynamic is a bit weird since Finny is Ciel's servant, but with current events (spoilers to all not caught up) revealing Ciel is actually fake Ciel and stole his twins identity, and everyone therefore being on the run, traditional barriers can break down and they can become besties. On God Ciel needs more friends 😭

Rohan is MY personal bestie and fav character so unfortunately for Koichi this means Rohan is aroace and therefore not dating anyone <3 But they can def be besties and I love that for them! I do like their friendship that we've gotten to see so far; shoutout to Koichi for being willing to move past Rohan attacking and nearly killing him when they first met all so he could sell more books lmaoo. I do think Rohan can make Koichi more unhinged and make him worse which I think is good for him, king deserves to go apeshit on someone he's too nice

#joy speaks #thank you for the ask bestie!!!#merlin #mergwaine #demon slayer #black butler #jojo bizarre adventure #i was long winded with this answer but too bad you all get to hear my opinions ❤️#lonelyeyes #magnus archives #there we go got em all

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justafewsmallsteps · 4 years

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Late for Halloween, but hey, it’s Inuvember. So here’s my annual contribution to my Witch AU, Now You’re Mine. Read part 1, part 2, and part 3 to understand (or you can just like the art?) This time we have exposition and angst. I appreciate any responses in the tags or comments.🥺Or any questions about this AU! Maybe I’ll even want to write more...

Now You’re Mine Pt. 4 Words: 2208 Rating: T for violence mention and blood

It was a long, slow night for them. After Kikyou disappeared, Kagome barely uttered out his name and traced his cheekbone before falling unconscious once again. Though she stopped bleeding so profusely, he still thought it was best to get her away from the ritual sight. The full moon had his blood running hot in his veins, but the immediate danger was gone. He was on high alert that night, listening for her heartbeat and feeling her pulse to stay calm and keep his transformation at bay. It was a miracle he hadn’t turned with the events that happened, but he was on edge the whole time, red flickering in and out of his vision. His heightened senses also had him feeling extra paranoid.

By the time the sun rose and his mind felt clearer, he resolved to get them back to Kaede’s place. Inuyasha treated Kagome gingerly as they slowly made their way back. She was in and out of consciousness and her waking varied from groggy calls out to him and sudden gasps. He kept reassuring her that he was there, that she was okay now, and that he’d get them back safely.

It was annoying to walk, and that was exacerbated by the ball weight dragging his leg. He still didn’t get why it’d suddenly become so heavy overnight, but he figured it was because Kagome was in such a bad state. He doubted she would have had the strength to fly them back even if she had her broom.

When they finally walked through the entrance, it was already past nightfall. Kaede saw Kagome’s pale face and limp body and flew into action. She brewed up a strong potion to get her feeling better. It was a deep green color, full of dried ingredients to make it extra potent as they rehydrated. Normally the smell of it would send Inuyasha right out of there and far away, but he found himself uneasy being too distant. For a while he fidgeted and did his best to bear it, but eventually it proved too much for his still sensitive nose to handle. He stood outside where the scent wasn’t so concentrated, but paced under the starlight to keep guard. He doesn’t sleep. He can’t. His mind swirled along with the dried up leaves being swept up by wind.

In the early morning, Kaede joins him in the front.

“Kagome slept through the night and she’s still asleep. The medicinal potion causes drowsiness. The human body works best when it rests. She’ll probably be waking soon, but she’ll have to take it easy for some time. She was drained of a lot of blood.”

Inuyasha gives a shrug to acknowledge her. He’s not sure what to say, but he feels a little relieved. He didn’t get a wink of sleep the past few days and it was starting to take a toll on him.

“Dark witches are tricky and aren’t afraid to use any spell to serve their purposes, even if they defy the Laws. Kagome’s been through a serious blood ritual, that much was clear, but she hasn’t been able to recall a lot of what happened, so you’ll have to give me more details, Inuyasha.”

He’s quiet. What happened? A lot more than he was ready for. Between the capture, Kikyou’s resurrection, and Kagome’s near death, he’s having a hard time processing it all. Let alone how it’d been the night of the full moon, so he’d been in a near-transformation haze. Kikyou’s ghost haunted him, and Kaede had reacted so strongly when news of her came up before. Of course she had, they were of the same clan. He now knows for sure that Kikyou didn’t just disappear the night she sealed him. She died before she ever got a chance to kill him. Now she was out there somewhere.

Her words echo in his skull. “Inuyasha, I will be back for you. I refuse to die until I end you. Remember that your life is mine.”

Sensing his hesitation, Kaede adds, “The more I know about the events that transpired, the better I can treat Kagome.”

He shuffles and sighs. “Kagome was captured by some crazy old bat called Urasue. That’s the one who ambushed her at the well. When I found her she was already bleeding out on the ground. The blood ritual was… to bring back another witch.”

“A Soul Trade,” Kaede confirms. “It’s a particularly complex spell, and one that requires many key factors. A dark spell that’s difficult to control.”

“But why Kagome? The old witch was after her specifically! She went through the trouble of kidnapping her right when she came out of the well.”

Kaede lets out a steady breath and lets it mingle with the cold before answering, “For a seasoned witch, it’s easy for us to sense the power potential in others. If you’re saying this Urasue could be a century old, then she fine tuned that sense long ago. Kagome’s magic is especially strong. Haven’t you wondered why a retired teacher like me would take her in so easily? To help her control it. Kagome’s magical aura makes her stand out. You should know. Even barely trained, she's able to do things most can never hope to master.”

“Like make me into her familiar.”

Kaede gives a solemn nod.

“So she was captured because she’s powerful?”

“Partly. It makes her easy to find.”

“Then why else?”

“Who was she used to resurrect, Inuyasha? I can only believe that she’d be necessary to revive another witch. One who shares her immense magic, and one who shares her blood.”

Inuyasha looks away and clenches his fist in his sleeves. It’s like denial. “Her blood… so Kagome is Kikyou’s blood after all.”

“You’ve always known Inuyasha. You said she could be mistaken for her.”

He doesn’t like the thought. “That’s why she could free me then too, right? Kikyou put the spell on me, and Kagome could undo it because they share a bloodline.” His ears droop slightly, and his eyes seem to glaze over a little in thought.

Kaede studies him, her good eye fixes on the chain at his ankle. He’d been dragging it when he entered and exited earlier, the weight leaving heavier trails than before. “Perhaps, but ‘undo’ isn’t the right word. Replace.”

Inuyasha scoffs, but his demeanor turns serious. “When I dragged Kagome out of the spell circle it started to reverse the ritual. Kikyou started bleeding out instead, but then she escaped using Urasue’s broom. I don’t know where she went, but Kikyou’s out there somewhere. It’s why Kagome feels this bad still, I’m sure of it. ”

“So Kikyou is stuck in the middle now.”

“In the middle?”

“An undead. It’s a rare phenomenon, especially for a good witch. There are those who specialize in animating the dead—like puppeteers toying with creatures, but to resurrect life requires a much stronger power. Imagine the strength it takes for a witch to resist a ritual so insidious.” She pauses, “Or the strength it takes to survive it.”

��Is Kagome going to be alright?” His tail swishes anxiously behind him.

“I told you she’s stronger than most.”

“But… what about Kikyou? Does she need Kagome to live? Is she going to come after her to complete the ritual?”

“Kikyou is also stronger than most, maybe the strongest to have lived. She was The Keeper of the Grimoire for a long time. She must have absorbed some of its powers when she locked it away. It’s possible she will turn to it now. For better or worse, I believe she’ll find a way to survive like this.”

“That’s what the hag was after. The Grimoire, just like before.”

Kaede wonders to herself what he means by “before,” but chooses to hold her tongue about it. Whatever secrets Inuyasha has about his past are his own.

“It’s a legend to most witches. A beacon for those who seek power. It holds dark, ancient secrets. Powerful spells that bend Laws instead of breaking them. Kikyou was rumored as the last witch to know its location and be able to access it, so it makes sense that Urasue would attempt to use her to find it, but foolish to think she could control her.”

“Yeah,” he agrees with frustration, the image of Urasue’s head being sliced clean off flashes through his mind. He swallows. “She’s… definitely something.”

“I have a feeling Kagome has the same potential to reach similar heights.”

“But she wouldn’t hurt a fly!” His ears droop. “She’ll have to learn how to protect herself though…” They can’t afford for this to happen again.

It’s that kind of concern he takes for his witch that warms Kaede’s heart and makes her believe that their relationship is more than it seems. Much as Inuyasha complains, there’s a genuine softness with which he treats her. “If you stay by Kagome’s side I’m sure she’ll be well guarded as I continue on her training. You being near her will give her strength, you share it with one another. That’s part of the familiar bond.”

It’s a clear invitation for him to go inside and see her, but he doesn’t know what to do. Part of him wants to check in on her, but another part feels weird about it. He can’t shake the feeling that he has to stay alert. As if on cue, he hears a small muffle from inside the room and his ears stand on alert. He stands up immediately on instinct, his chain making a light noise at the movement.

Kaede looks up and motions to stop him before he can push aside the screen. “I should warn you about the repercussions of stopping the ritual, Inuyasha.” Her tone is hushed.

He raises his brow.

“A Soul Trade links the sacrifice and the resurrected for a short time. It’s like a transfer between the two. It’s possible that because of the ritual, Kagome and Kikyou shared certain things. Emotions. Knowledge.”

His eyes go wide for a second and he holds his breath.

“Memories.”

Inuyasha presses his lips together and stands there for a moment, mind suddenly filling with new thoughts. What had Kagome learned from Kikyou? Did she hate him now too? There was no way, but then again, she’d basically been passed out the whole time. What could she have seen? He suddenly feels like running away, but he’s frozen.

Then the muffled sound repeats, and he hears his name. Everything in his mind shouts at him, Go to her! The familiar bond is pulsing through his head. Ultimately it’s her though, fragile and searching that moves him into action.

He lets his lungs empty and sucks in another breath, the cold sting of it filling his chest and reminding him of the night she freed him. When he felt his heartbeat for the first time in decades. He pushes the door aside and enters quickly, careful not to let too much chill inside.

“Inuyasha?” Kagome calls as soon as he’s in the room.

The scent of her blood has faded, but it’s still there staining her clothes, and it bothers Inuyasha a lot. Still, he wants to know she’s okay.

“I’m here, Kagome,” he assures her as he did their walk home. “Are you alright?”

She smiles and weakly nods at him, and knots in his stomach unravel just a little. She had a way of untangling him from dark places. “Stay by me?” she requests, holding a shaky hand towards him. He flashbacks to her limp hand stuck in the pentagram, to her reaching out to protect him. Of course she didn’t hate him.

The relief swells in his chest, but he doesn’t want it to make a big deal out of nothing. Instead of saying anything, he huffs out a breath to sound bothered and sits by her, the ball annoyingly dragging against the ground on his way. Instead of taking her hand, he checks it for her pulse.

“You need something?”

Kagome blinks, her eyebrows knitting in what Inuyasha can assume is either dizziness or pain. She makes a move to study him, trying to focus on his face. She swore he looked different last night. Red eyes and jagged marks on his cheeks. She reaches out to touch him, but he pulls away and stands up.

He’s relieved she’s alright, but suddenly afraid of her questions. “You’ve been out all night since Kaede gave you that potion. I’ll get you water. You just rest up.” Kaede’s warning is stuck in his mind like tar. There are things Kagome could know now, and he doesn’t want to deal with it.

Behind him the ball drags on the floor, catching Kagome’s attention again. Visions from the other night flicker in her mind, but they’re vague and fleeting. Some of them seem familiar, and other thoughts feel like she’s someone else. Her head aches to think about them, but her heart reacts with a different kind of pain. She frowns and watches him leave, tucking her hand back to her chest. She’s suddenly overwhelmed with longing, feeling small and pathetic as he walks away.

Why couldn’t he just stay by her side?

#inuyasha #inukag #kagome higurashi #inuvember #inuvember 2020 #jelly art #witch au #justafewsmallsteps #jelly fic #now you’re mine

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dracothedeatheatingcupcake-ao3 · 3 years

Text

Oh my god. So, I guess this is spoilers for a potential IshiMondo fic I’m writing but that won’t be posted for a long, long time. If ever, since I don’t know if I’ll ever actually finish it. But I just wrote a scene and I need to Talk about it. I’ll put it under a read more to not clog up your dashboard, because I have Words to Say.

Okay, so. This IshiMondo story idea came to me a few nights ago when I couldn’t sleep. I wasn’t going to write it initially, but quickly gave in when the concept wouldn’t leave.

Basically, the basic plot is a canon universe story where Taka gets trapped in a time loop and every time he dies, he restarts at the beginning of the killing games, when he wakes up at the desk in a classroom. Basic idea, right?

Well, it’s been a bit challenging to write, honestly, since I keep getting stuck on how to write the second chapter. First chapter I have down, it’s a bit of a prologue, it’s fine. Second chapter, not as easy, more of a struggle. I really like the idea though, in that it won’t leave me alone, so I kept trying and eventually I found a way to write the second chapter so it’s at least decent. Not great, but okay. I’m still in the process of writing it, but I have a good idea of where it’s going.

Anyway. The other issue I’ve been having is wondering how I can keep the time loop going. If Taka only loops when he dies, then how do I keep making him die? That one took me a while and I’m still unclear on some of it, but I have a few solid ideas for how to do several loops.

Now, why am I ranting if I have that all figured out? Well, my fine feathered friends, my problem is that I just wrote a scene for a future chapter since it got stuck in my head and I wanted to get it out. And this scene? This scene I wrote that wouldn’t leave my head?

Is so. Damn. Depressing.

Like… I like angst. Right? Love a good angst story, it’s great. I can write angst fairly well and seem only to be able to write angst. But this chapter? It bypassed ‘angst’ and is almost in what I think is called ‘whump’ territory. Like… pure psychological torture for Taka. And I… I don’t really like that sort of thing, you know? I don’t like tormenting the characters like that. I know this story will end happily, since time loop stories can do that sort of thing even with some intense horror, but dear god, the journey on the way there… I…

Oof. Anyway. I don’t really have a point here, I’m just venting, ha. I still want to keep writing this story since I like the idea a lot, but I’m just afraid it’s gonna end up too dark. So I guess I just have to ask… would any of y’all even want to read something that is super dark, but can end at least partially happily? That’s not my biggest factor of if I’ll write a story or not, since I write mostly for myself these days, but I’m honestly curious if anyone would ever want to read something like that.

(Also, please don’t actually be worried about me, ha. I can handle writing things like this. It’s cathartic mostly. I just am a bit astonished it got so dark. Like… darker than I even imagined, and I always knew this would be a heavy fic. But I will absolutely stop if it ever gets to much for me, I promise ❤️)

#Random post #personal #Random ramblings #Sorry for the rambling y’all #I’m dead tired it’s super late here

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softths · 4 years

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can you do something with #39 ?? love ur writing

Prompt #39 : ‘Harry, I said I don’t want a fucking drink!’

word count: 1,622

a/n : angst, sorry in advance :( & a bit of swearing!!

Harry was a special man in your life, and because of that, he was the only man in your life. You and H had been friends since preschool when he threatened to tell on the kid who took your crayon and the rest was pretty much history.

When you turned 10, Harry slaved over a cake, explaining how being double digits was a huge milestone.

When you turned 13, Harry congratulated you on getting your first job as a paper round. And he was also the one to bring you your favourite pizza when you left your first job as a paper round.

When you turned 15, Harry insisted on trying your first alcoholic drink with you after he had snuck away some of his dad’s whiskey that he kept in the cupboard. He was also there to hold your hair back as you gagged and threw up at the taste.

But when you turned 17, Harry was no longer about.

Harry had auditioned for the X Factor as both you and Anne had pushed him to, and when he got through you were buzzing. You sat and watched the live shows with his family and facetimed him every week while he was down in London, winning the hearts of the country. Until it all just stopped.

He became busier, the facetimes turned into calls, and the calls turned into texts. When he came third, you were heartbroken for him. But it didn’t last long. His career took off and he seemingly never looked back.

You kept up with him as much as you could, keeping up to date with the boy’s most recent releases and always congratulating him on his success. He replied to begin with but soon enough, your number became one that he forgot about. You wish you could say you grew angrier with him as time went on but you didn’t, you just became more proud.

Anne insisted Harry still remembered you when you visited her and promised to bring you up in conversation next time he was home, but it came as no surprise when he didn’t call or text. You stayed in Holmes Chapel, running your own business, fairly successfully but your love life was a different question entirely. Having the infamous Harry Styles as your ex-best friend was a tough expectation for any man to meet. Nobody was ever going to be as considerate as Harry was. Nobody was going to care for you the way Harry did. No man was Harry, except Harry.

Even after the band split and he began his solo career, he still managed to hold a grip on you, a grip that you couldn’t shift as easily as he had. So when you picked up your mail after returning from the office one evening and finding a handwritten letter in his handwriting, you couldn’t quite believe it. You tore it open without a second thought, quickly scanning over the note.

“Y/N,

I’m sorry it’s taken me, what, eight years to reach out to you again. Part of me wished I had a good reason for my absence in your life, but the truth is I don’t. I was going to come and speak to you myself but you know firsthand just how much of a pussy I am when it comes to this kind of thing.

I’m having a small get together with all my closest friends and family, before the release of my second album and I would really love to see you there. I know we have a lot to talk about, and it’s not for another six weeks yet, but I remember how anxious you get about things like this, and not knowing all the details.

I was hoping we could potentially meet before, in the next few days, I’m sure we have a lot to catch up on. It would be amazing to be able to see you again but I completely understand if you don’t want to meet or attend the party.

It would just be great to see you again, and explain. I also hope your address hasn’t changed since you last told my mum but please, call me.

xxx-xxx-xxxx

Still yours forever,

H x”

You couldn’t help but let out a sigh, when you finished reading it but you didn’t know whether you were sad, angry or simply overwhelmed by it all. Without giving yourself a chance to overthink it, you messaged Harry telling him to meet you at your local bar tomorrow evening after work, knowing there was no way in hell you were going to get through that without a drink.

—

When you walked into the bar, it was fairly empty and you automatically looked for Harry. He had told you he would be there and he was looking forward to seeing you but you didn’t give him the benefit of replying. You were so anxious, you could feel your pulse quicken as you tried your best not throw up the minute your eyes landed on him. He was sitting in the corner, away from the main tables, sipping on what looked like a simple pint. His hair was shorter and a lot less curly than you remember but it wasn’t too much of a shock as you couldn’t escape the pictures that were spread of him everywhere.

You ordered yourself a drink as he spotted you standing at the bar. He didn’t know what to do and hesitated before standing up and walking over to you. You offer a tenner to the woman but Harry quickly tells her to add it to the tab. His voice was deep, and it shocked you. You didn’t want his money, not now, “Sorry can you just cancel that actually. I’m good for now.” You say with a quick smile to the barmaid before walking away, Harry following quickly behind.

“Let me get you a drink.” He said as you sat down, still not having the courage to meet his eyes with your own. You shake your head, as he continues, ‘Please just let me get you a drink, it’s the least I could do.’ You snap your head up to look at him as you reply, ‘Harry, I said I don’t want a fucking drink!’ He was taken back by your sudden outburst and simply nodded before sitting down.

‘It’s nice to see you.’ He smiles at you and you feel yourself immediately lose it. ‘It’s nice to see me? You have to be shitting me Harry seriously? You haven’t reached out to me in over eight years, until one day out of the blue you decide you want me back in your life, that you can come pick up where we left as if nothing had happened and tell me it’s nice to see me? ‘It’s nice to see you’ is what people say when they haven’t seen a friend for a few weeks, not when you abandoned your best friend without a word eight years ago.’

Harry sits and just stares as you continue. ‘Do you know how long I waited for that phone to ring, or for the knock at the door? We were more than friends Harry, we were family and it really fucking hurt that you felt you could just drop me out of nowhere like that.’ You breathed as you began to slow, no longer feeling the need to yell and scream. Your lap became incredibly interesting as Harry sat, nodding lightly, knowing he deserved that and a hell of a lot more.

‘Do you not think it killed me?’ He asked, finally. ‘What?’ He shook his head as he reached to hold your hand. ‘Do you not think that it killed me, having to push you away like that? Every milestone I wanted to share with you, every number one we got, I wanted to call you but I couldn’t, I couldn’t let you get mucked up in this life. It’s fucked up you know, fame? It’s not all as amazing as it seemed and I knew it was only time, no matter what I did, that it would all just become too much for you.’

‘That wasn’t your call to make for me Harry.’ You look at him and see the sadness in his eyes, matching yours. ‘I wouldn’t have cared about anything as long as I had you by my side.’ You say honestly and he moves closer to hug you as you begin to cry. You give in to him as your body leans on him, and it feels right. You can’t remember the last time he held you like this, you were only kids, and now you were both grown up adults, yet he was there to hold you, like you had always wanted him to be.

‘I love you Y/n, I didn’t mean to cause you so much pain I just thought- I was stuck between a rock and a hard place and I didn’t know what to do.’ You pull up from his chest, to look at him and catch the tear from his eye on your finger. ‘I’m in love with you Y/n, I always have been in love with you and that’s why I had to make sure I was never going to lose you, not like that.’ You shake your head, ‘But you did lose me Harry. You pushed me away to the point where I am no longer yours and you are no longer mine. I love you Harry, I always will and always have but this is goodbye. I’m sorry, you made that decision eight years ago for me. Good luck with everything H.’ You kissed him lightly on the head before walking away, out of the bar and out of his life, forever.

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danpuff-ao3 · 3 years

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hi there!!! if these haven't been asked yet: would love to know your answers for numbers 2 and 23!

Hello! Thanks for the asks!

2.) Tell us about what you're most looking forward to writing - in your current project, or a future project.

What I'm most looking forward to writing...Hmmmm.

This one is super fun because I am basically brimming full of ideas at all times, so my muse is pretty all over!

I will say I really wanna continue/finish smile with sweet surprise. Not only has it been....ahem...a hot minute since I've worked on it, but I genuinely love what I have so far, and am so so excited for what I have planned next! Which is mostly questionable filth LOL. That one is on my list of things to work on this month for NaNoWriMo! If I come out of November with Chapter 2 done, I will be thrilled!

Sorry, was I only supposed to list one? Too bad, there's more!

PURE UNADULTERATED ANGST. I'm always excited to work on that! But more specifically, I have a few story ideas that involve starting with one ship and ending with another. You know, for maximum angst factor.

Jokes aside, I've dealt with a lot of heartache in my life and there's something very therapeutic about reading and writing that feeling in all its forms; in exploring human nature, emotion, relationship dynamics, et cetera. And I'm very interested in writing breakups and heartbreak in ways that don't necessarily have a "wronged" party. Relationships end all the time for reasons that aren't cheating or abuse. And just because someone's heart gets broken, doesn't mean the other person was wrong.

Aaaand lastly. (Y'all really can't ask me to just give one answer for something, sheesh.) I have a Draco/Remus story planned that is basically mine and my partner's love story. While talking with fandom friends I realized that I was basically Draco and my partner is basically Remus, and then the idea sort of formed that I could tell our story, more or less, with them. I'm really excited about it. I love these characters so much and obviously my real life love story is very meaningful to me, so I'll be taking my time with that one to do it as much justice as I can!

23.) What's the story idea you've had in your head the longest?

The story idea I've had for the longest....Also an interesting question!

The one that stayed with me the longest between conceptualizing it and finishing it was The Best Kept Secrets. I'd had that idea in mind for a while before I started writing it the first time, years ago. It was originally posted on ff.net in 2012! And I finished posting the revamped, complete version on AO3 in 2020!

I do have another one that's been cooking for about 2 years now, though! And it might be another year or 2 before I even start working on it. It will be much longer than my usual stories. As in, epic-potential! It will require a lot of planning. I've spent the past 2 years just obsessing over the magic system.

This idea is an AU (snarry, ofc) with a focus on magical theory. I don't wanna say too much about it but that's the gist of things! And definitely the longest I've sat on an idea since TBKS! I've not written the first word, just endless notes on the AU itself and the magic system!

meta asks for writers

#asked and answered #meta asks for writers #fanfiction #danpuff writes

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crash-cinematic-universe · 4 years

Text

Abed Nadir and his need to count the seconds

pairing: abed nadir/troy barnes (it’s Light but I wrote it with the intent for trobed)

summary: Abed Nadir hates being alone in general, so when his friends disappear and leave him alone in a sea of job-seeking students he struggles to keep his head above water.

request: okay wait ur abed headcanons got me thinking. abed angst. kings gotta have abandonment issues cuz of his parents YES I'm projecting a little bit. u don't have to do this if it makes u too sad tho - @ghost-butch

warnings: abandonment issues, anxiety attacks, s/h (kinda; in the form of clenching ur fists too hard)

notes: writing abed angst makes me sad ): why did i do this to him he deserves better. also im about to punch evil abed in the face ):< just over 2k words with this one so thats Cool also its midnight and i have school tomorrow arent i epic and cool.

taglist: @simonsbluee

_____________

Fifteen minutes and twenty-two seconds. Abed had been lost for fifteen minutes and twenty-two second. Abed’s eyes were trained on the clock hanging on the wall, each tick of the second hand amplified in his head to a piercing shout. Everything was bigger; the lights were blindingly bright and his clothes felt as if they were clawing at his skin. With each passing second Abed became increasingly worried, his breath getting shallower and shallower with each rise of his chest. His eyes returned to the clock on the wall, his stomach jumping at the reading-- sixteen minutes and fourteen seconds.

The study group had promised Abed they’d accompany him to the job fair. They promised they’d be by his side the entire time; Abed didn’t do well alone in large crowds, especially in new environments. He’d gotten distracted by an engineering booth in the corner with a large lego replica of the millennium falcon hanging in the corner. He looked away from his friends for no more than thirteen seconds, but in those thirteen seconds, they disappeared in the sea of students and booths and interns. Thus, leaving Abed completely alone in a mass of strangers in a building that he’d never seen before.

His anxiety had built up with every minute he was lost. It was gradual; he started with the initial panic, followed by frantic searching for familiar faces in the crowd. It wasn’t long after that when his heart rate began to pick up, and within minutes his skin felt as if it was on fire. Abed couldn’t really pinpoint exactly when he’d begun to shuffle backwards out of the large venue the job fair was held in. Before he knew it, he was at the end of a dimly lit hallway, completely alone. He slunk to the floor and pulled his knees to his chest.

They’ll look for me, he thought. They’re probably looking for me now. Abed reached into his pocket for his cellphone before he realized he’d left it with Troy. The emptiness of his pocket felt endless, his hand tingling where the fabric of his shorts met his skin. The familiar whine that Abed let out when he became overwhelmed filled the empty hallway, the tone only making his anxiety worse. He cursed himself for not thinking ahead-- he’d left all of his fidget toys and putty in his messenger bag which he also left with Troy.

It was then that a tiny voice in the back of his head spoke up-- maybe they left, it called. Abed shook his head, but the voice persisted. They left you. They’re gone, and no one is coming for you. A familiar figure materialized in the vast shadows at the other end of the hallway; Evil Abed smirked at him from where he stood.

“They’re gone,” He repeated. “They were waiting for something to draw you away for them so they could slip away,”

“That’s not true.” Abed’s fingers absentmindedly dug into his palm. “They wouldn’t do that-- Troy wouldn’t do that. Jeff and Britta, maybe, but not Troy. Not Annie.” Truthfully, Abed didn’t believe that Jeff or Britta would leave, but he wasn’t thinking clearly in the moment.

“Riddle me this, Abed, who does Troy respect more: you or Jeff? Who does he think is cooler? Who does he idolize more?” Evil Abed’s voice was smug and cruel. It felt as if his words were burrowing through his brain and fogging up his thoughts. “Sure, Troy might tolerate you, but he worships Jeff. If Jeff wanted to leave, then surely Britta and Annie would tag along. It’s inevitable that Troy would join them, isn’t it?” Abed shut his eyes tightly, but that didn’t do much to ward off his evil counterpart.

A film played behind Abed’s eyelids, the poetic irony of his worst fears being portrayed through his favorite thing making his heart ache. There they were: Jeff, Britta, Troy, Annie, all standing in a tight group as Abed wandered off. Their expressions and movements were exaggerated, but Abed didn’t care. He just sat and watched as the scene unfolded.

“God, I can’t believe he roped us into this,” Jeff groaned, his hands gripping his cellphone as if someone were going to take it from him. “What kind of loser can’t go to a damn fair by himself? I could have a hot redhead hanging on my arm at a sports bar and instead I’m babysitting a twenty-five-year-old.”

“C’mon Jeff, we’re here for Abed. God knows if he came here alone he’d probably drive everyone here crazy with his “Inspector Spacetime” BS.” Britta chimed in, a tired tone in her voice. Annie looked antsy as always, while Troy looked unsure. Abed wasn’t sure of what, exactly.

Slowly, Abed wandered a few feet away from the group. Jeff’s face lit up the same way it does when he sees an attractive student in the hallways. A borderline cartoon-ish grin grew on his face as he pulled the group tighter.

“Hey, Abed’s gone. Let’s take this window and get the hell out of here while the cat is distracted by the lazer,” He chuckled. Britta smiled and nodded, quickly grabbing Annie’s hand in an attempt to pull her out. The three of them made their way to the exit, leaving Troy alone. He turned around to glance at Abed before rolling his eyes and running after Jeff. Abed was alone.

The image faded away, and to Abed’s surprise, Evil Abed faded away with it. For a split second, Abed was disappointed. He really, really, really didn’t want to be alone-- even if his only companion was an evil version of himself. A minute passes before Abed realizes he was crying, that revelation followed by the realization that his fingernails dug into his palm so hard he broke the skin. His tears blurred his vision and made his surrounding seem much smaller, much darker, much lonelier. His eyes no longer portrayed a dim hallway. Instead, Abed saw the same tiny locker he was locked in so often as a teenager. He could smell the rusted metal of the locker hinges. He could feel the chipped paint rubbing against his skin. He couldn’t breathe. Abed couldn’t breathe-- the entire world was closing in on him. He was cold and alone and no one was coming for him. His friends left him and they weren’t coming back. Everyone who he cares about leaves him, why would they be any different? He watched the world pass by through the tiny slits in the door before his eyes screwed shut again as he choked on air.

He was in agony. His entire body shook and his heart pounded so hard he felt as if it were going to burst. Abed wanted to go home, he wanted to be back at Greendale with Troy and the rest of his friends but he was trapped. His arms began to cramp up from how hard he had tensed, his knuckles a pale white from how tightly he was clenching his fists. He couldn’t move. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t speak or sob or scream; he was stuck. Locked away. The outside world faded away as Abed retreated into his mind. He tried to hide away in his head forever until a janitor stumbled upon his frozen shell of a body tomorrow morning. There was an echoing sound, however, that kept drawing him from the abyss of his brain.

Footsteps. He could hear footsteps. Abed couldn’t tell whether or not they were real, but he could guess who’s footsteps they were. They were frantic and uneven-- they had the potential to be rhythmic, but the walker was urgent. Worried. The biggest identifying factor, though, was the quiet sound of plastic aglets on the tile floor; their shoes were untied. Abed smiled weakly as he recalled the fact that Troy almost never had his shoes tied. A glimmer of hope shone through the small slits in the locker door as the footsteps grew closer.

“Abed?” Troy’s voice cut through the silence in the hallway. He turned the corner and froze as his eyes landed on his friend. “Abed? God, there you are! You scared me half to death, and Jeff was already boring me to death with his lame lawyer stories, so now I’m only, like, a fourth away from death!”

Abed didn’t reply. He couldn’t-- he still didn’t know if Troy was real or just another image. He was still locked away, after all. Troy could tell something was wrong; Abed’s eyes had glazed over and he looked like he’d seen a ghost. Troy hurried over, his eyes frantically assessing the situation at hand. He saw the blood on Abed’s palms and his stomach lurched.

“Hey, Abed, are you alright?” Troy asked softly. “Did something happen?” Abed did not reply, instead releasing a small, high-pitched whine. Everything was foggy-- it was all too foggy for Abed to know whether or not he was simply envisioning this angel of a human.

“Alright, uh, I’m going to touch your wrist. Is that alright?” Abed hesitated before nodding ever-so-slightly.

Gently, Troy wrapped his hand around Abed’s wrist. The contact was startling, but not unwelcome. Abed was becoming more and more sure that this Troy was real. The tight locker melted away to reveal the same dark hallway; his anxiety was eased a bit,but he still couldn’t shake the feeling of dread that settled over him. He glanced at the clock once again-- he was alone for thirty-two minutes and forty-seven seconds in total.

“I’m sorry I lost you,” Troy spoke quietly. His voice was comforting and genuine, his face soft and kind. He didn’t match the Troy that Evil Abed created at all. “I know this place is overwhelming, I’m so sorry. We should’ve been more attentive and more careful, this place is like a maze.” Abed soon realized he was too tired to respond verbally, instead opting to hold Troy’s hand. A silent reassurance was exchanged through their intertwined fingers. Abed’s palms stung a bit, but he couldn’t bring himself to do anything about it. He was just so tired. His muscles were sore and his chest ached and his head pounded. He wanted to go home.

“Britta was practically running across the building looking for you, ya know,” Troy said. His hand was still holding Abed’s. “Annie started crying after 10 minutes, and for a second Jeff looked like he was going to cry, too. They were all so worried. I was worried, too. The thought of something bad happening to you was too much to handle.”

“I know you hate being alone, too. I guess you probably thought we ditched you or something. Jeff thought you ditched us, but I knew that wasn’t true. It doesn’t really matter, though, because I’m here now,” That final phrase echoed in Abed’s mind as he sat beside his friend. “I want you to know that I really care about you. I want-- I need you to know that I would never ever ditch you like that. Not in a million billion years, not even for a million dollars,”

They sat there for a few more minutes before Annie turned the corner and shouted, sprinting full speed towards the two men at the end of the hallway. Britta and Jeff followed closely after, a wave of relief washing over their faces. They all gushed about their worries and concerns. Annie was quick to tend to the small indents in Abed’s palm, and Jeff and Britta talked about how freaked they were when they realized Abed disappeared. Jeff mentioned stopping by every directing booth in the entire building to see if Abed had landed there-- he even grabbed a few pamphlets for him to flick through later. Finally, Abed gained the energy to stand up, and he walked down the hallway with his friends beside him and Troy’s fingers still laced with him.

On his way out, Abed glanced at the clock on the wall-- twenty-two minutes and twelve seconds. Abed had been surrounded by his wonderfully chaotic family for the past twenty-two minutes, and he’d never felt more secure.

#abed nadir #abed nadir x troy barnes #community #community tv #trobed #britta perry #jeff winger #annie edison #the greendale seven #abed nadir angst #troybed #s/h mention

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meandmyechoes · 3 years

Text

The more I think about Dark Disciple, the more I find something odd.

[28th March 17:46]

I keep referring to it as a ‘favourable experience’, and there is no question the writing is what made me fall totally head over heels about quintress, but I also just, can’t?

I mean, yes. It’s very passionate, dramatic, scenes and gestures I can only dream of. But I also, don’t really see it in that ’omg they totally belong together here are my sixty headcanons of them’ sense?

I am very involved in the pairing, but also don’t really, actively ‘ship’ it — like the way it was an open book with Rhayme or Latts Razzi (since it’s the same author that indoctrinated me to Captain Rhayme). I could imagine them being happily ever after and silly shenanigans and slow-burn. But the concept of a quintress fairytale ending is so wild. I can only ask how much it is tainted with my personal view on relationships.

I know the plot leaves little room for “the future” and fed us well on all tropes possible. But, it just never occurred to me to put them in any other clichés or invent a missing scene.

Winding up, I don’t think their relationship is "weak", but it’s very motivated by circumstances and once you take that out of them, you are a little bit lost. For example even during the illicit affairs month, I… can’t really propose one date that does not seem tonally insensitive. (I can think of them being cloak dorks and Vos bringing her to ice-cream, that’s it, after a long hard moment) Really, all I possibly want is that sweet, sweet angst and canon is already there so I have no complaint.

It’s just… I don’t really get why it has to be the two of them that fall for each other. I understand why they did, and I believe it— Perhaps it’s much more a physical attraction thing that I don’t really have personal experience with.

I don’t know if quintress classify as slow-burn because 10 chapters still seem a little quick in the grand scheme of things. (aside: I’m quite disappointed Ventress wasn’t doing much in the last quarter of the book.) My point is, they do feel a little bit puppet to tropes, and while it’s deliciously written, there’s not much potential outside of canon. And that lack of inspiration makes me grimace a little.

[3rd April, 01:39]

I’ve scrolled through the dd tag and let the book sank a little. I am better articulated to talk about the sexist criticism now.

It’s a romance story, and when I judge it by that (lower) standard, it ticks the boxes. However, it might be a weakness as well, due to the projectability of the heroes. And yes, the whole assassination is dumb. Yet, tcw has been consistently this dumb at us. The last two times when she’s more rooted in the dark she failed, sent Savage and failed, so she’s gonna do it again with Vos… after she put down her desire for revenge. right. and surprise! Our “assassination” plan is to find Dooku and duel him directly. right…

I’ve read a review that says the romance takes away from the plot. However, the romance IS the plot. The book IS supposed to revolve around the two of them. I do agree them becoming begrudging allies then partners is a more unique approach, more rewarding as foils as well. but I guess a romance is easier for the conventional to process ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

With the “Ventress lose agency in falling for Vos”. Now, I can’t dictate how each of us buy into their physical attraction and chemistry (or lack thereof), and there’s no denial that a conscious human being is making that choice for the fictional character, I think the stance on this topic varied person to person from the above two factors, which are very different starting points.

I kept Katie Lucas’s foreword vividly in mind while reading. She said this is a story about people seizing chances to rebuild. That there’s always a choice. Cliché as it is, I believe ~the power of love~. I believe there exists someone you’re willing to sacrifice everything for, to overlook everything for, to forgive - to love them, warts and all. So, yes whether you think Ventress loses her agency to the romance, or if that’s a conscious choice on her behalf, is swayed heavily by how much you buy that they are the one.

[10th April, 10:30]

Yesterday I’ve been thinking a bit more about this. I do love this ship, I just don’t believe they’d be two people who find each other again and again in every life time, in every universe. That’s why, as magnificent as fireworks, it also won’t last.

To explore this, it’s not entire impossible for quintress to separate peacefully after this incident, but would that cheapen the build before? The entire motivation of dark!Quinlan hinges on his vision of their future. And say, Ventress did saved him and survived. How would he balance being a Jedi and his feelings - that’s publicly exposed to the Council? (sidenote: i really don’t like Ch. 27 where a bunch of old men are questioning their love life, but uhhh yes, I’m a sensible person!) For now, I’m seeing another Obi-Satine situation. And honestly how bad that an outcome is. It’s not like Ventress died for her war crimes! The show gave her a full pardon! So Idk man. Why can’t she leave him because she loves him and she exiled herself and they never see each other again WHY NOT FILONI WHY NOT.

Now I’m lamenting more what could’ve been with the two arcs. In Filoni’s original sketch, Aayla and Maul were involved. Man, that could’ve been the dream.

~~~

Part 2: [26th April, 15:15]

It has been… a month, since I finished Dark Disciple and I feel like it’s time to conclude all the thinking this book has made me do.

On the wider reflection about attachment and the Jedi Order, I still have to do more reading on it from other sources to form a concrete opinion. This theme won’t be touched on in this post yet, but I cannot shake how intriguing it is to compare “falling” in love to falling to the dark side. The temptation, and the submission to their emotions, the irrationality, the newfound curiosity, it all incites. Very curiously, it was Anakin Skywalker who commented that one is “blinded by love”

Okay, so what I’ve been scratching my head off the past two weeks is how I look at the romance between Asajj Ventress and Quinlan Vos. How would I define it?

Now this is as much as an exploration of how I view romantic relationships. Well, I’ve decided it wasn’t “love”, it was an “affair”. It was an affair because it’s a rush of passion, it’s a secret, it won’t last. Before I chop my own head off for bluntness, I mean it in, of course they are hopelessly in love with each other, that’s the exact premise of why it moved me so. But it wasn’t a complete relationship, wasn’t a healthy, sustainable one by any objective standards. Then, that’s the exact contradiction. Oh to throw caution in the wind with you, or to build a future with you?

Both are things I want a lot, and the ideal is of course one after the other. What quintress had (in the end) is definitely not something I’d want for myself, but it’s so fantastical, it’s alluring, just like the concept of falling in love - opening up yourself and trusting another person, is - it’s risky. That’s why it’s a sweet, sweet drug.

I’ve been so angry at all the red flags in this relationship. Reading this book, getting into both of their shoes, yelling NO like their best friends. But ultimately, what they had is unique to them and I can’t influence it in any way. Re-reading, I find myself holding myself back at all the places I was furious about going ‘You are smarter than this!’. Because it’s a tragedy, and the beautiful (I guess) thing is they chose each other.

The other day something on the dash inspired me to really think about ship dynamics. I, unashamedly admit, I’m VERY into Obi/Quin/Ventress in any and all combinations. *cough* I will not explain further.

I do accept the premise and I did discover they share quite a bunch of traits, but it confused me a while what made them cross the boundary, and it was, physical attraction (that the book was selling so hard I was blushing hot). I love them both a lot, and I would like to date them both, and I can see myself in either of them. Again comes the contradiction, is it a good thing to have characters so easily projectable, or do I want to see myself in more complex characters like them?

I probably lost quite a few cars stalling this train of thought. And I've been a canon apologist since forever. This book brought me a lot of emotional upheavals and a lot of food for thought. It brought me down to reflect on my romantic worldview and sexuality because I have nothing better to do. It totally challenged me as a writer and it’s just a really good novel by its right, regardless of the absurdity that is The Clone Wars. It’s a lot of firsts for me. And I really should find something better to do.

[26th April 16:00]

I must address that I got spoiled of the ending and the first and second half of the book probably went through some big changes.

If I cried for this book, it’s score would be even higher. And I’ve been so obsessed with discussing the relationship, without shedding light on the characterization, which is definitely an unfortunate side effect. Then it occurs that quite possibly the second half (26-42) deviated even further from the script than the first? It doesn’t have concept art or blocking, plus possibly (heavily) edited to omit correlation to other arcs. My major complaint for the second half is Ventress doesn’t do much and we know NOTHING about Vos, even though he is given screen time in the book. my, I just wish Ventress punch him harder and drag his idiotic mess back to the light sooner.

And to criticism about it being their ‘toxic’ relationship being portrayed as ‘true love’, well, it really depends on how thoughtful the reader is, right? I think if the reader is able to notice all these red flags and gave their own interpretation of the relationship and its outcome, it’d’ve been an educating experience. There’s what for the reader and what for the characters. They don’t know this ‘love’ is destroying them, and what kind of message is it sending? What ‘love’ depicted in the book is true then? I have my answers, and I hope every reader comes to their own as well.

#dark disciple #sw reading #clean version #i yell 'EXCEPT THE FLIRTY PART' every three scenes

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stray-tori · 4 years

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TPN S02E07 Initial Thoughts (anime-only)

[ Reaction Vid with friends ]

I knew about two things in this episode, but that aside, all new stuff for me! I don’t know if it’s because it’s anime-original but quite frankly I don’t want to know. Somehow I’ve convinced myself I won’t care if I know things, but seeing it all unfold is still different - I still WISH i was more blind, obviously, but yeah. I just wish they had more runtime still to cover the final stretch because I do really want to relish this far longer, especially now that I only know like 2 things, one of which likely won’t be relevant in the anime-route.

BUT OH WELL, enough meta emotions. Onto the mess that is my thoughts in my tiny brain trying to comprehend all those factors and making sense of everything.

. Norman’s plan

I find it interesting that Mujika and Sonju are the thing that bothers Norman specifically. Ray asks “so they kept the power for themselves” in regards to the nobles, which to me means they have it (they did eat them). So aren’t they a risk too? Since Norman worries about Mujika using it to give the degenerated demons their bodies back -- though the nobles might not do that since it’d make the folk emancipated. But like, if you have no folk left, there’s nothing to control either...

So my guess why Mujika/Sonju are a bigger risk are:

they’re more unpredictable and might be quicker to counter-act his efforts with their ability

Norman knows WHERE the nobles are and (I’m guessing) has a plan to deal with them - he DOESN’T know where Mujika is so she’s riskier since she’s evading his view of the chessboard quite literally.

I do think I shouldn’t have to read between the lines like that - what’s Norman’s plan with the nobles? Does the drug really not work on them? If so, how will they get rid of them? To be fair, he seems very certain that eliminating Mujika and Sonju won’t be a big problem; so it’s likely that he’d proceed the same way with the nobles (probably lambda squad) - but I would have liked if that very valid concern had come up in the discussion of the plan.

His “safer” plan literally

doesn’t affect the nobles (who might be a small group but still); which goes unaddressed by him. I don’t think he’s not aware of it, since later in the discussion, the thing that bothers him about Emma saying to just get rid of the nobles and the farm humans ISN’T to get rid of them, what he considers implausible is using the noble’s blood / ONLY killing THEM and not all the demons. At least in my opinion.

human enemies (though they might get caught up in the wild demon chaos I guess)

the world will literally be riddled with wild demons for a good while. How is that any safer? I guess he’ll bring everyone to his hideout that was referenced (where he hides all the kids he broke out) and that will be protected from wild demons either by infrastructure or the humans inside -- I guess viewed from that perspective, it does sound like a pretty “safe” plan if it’s just enough of a “fortress” sort of deal.

His plan IS however more “concrete”. Going to the human world is risky because

the gatekeeper, whatever he is. But like, can he just leave the guardian be all the way underground? is that how it works? Won’t he have to get rid of him eventually?

they could be followed there. they could destroy the gate, however that would doom everyone still over there and who knows if the demons could just break the separation in rage.

they could be unwelcome by the humans on the other side. Either because they somehow profit off of the demon world’s human farms or because the humans over there fear the end of the promise and therefore scramble to send them back. idk if they could take an army of children but it’d be a risk for sure, especially if it implies that they would be constantly chased no matter where they go. A life on the run seems unfavorable (but I’d find that super interesting tbh, arc in the human world??).

andit isn’t going to GF (since he agreed to Emma going back for the others in ep6) that concerns him (imo) but actually just the gatekeeper and the risk of the human world that they don’t know about. Norman does know the effect his drug has on demons, because he’s SEEN it. Eliminating the demons is the more concrete option because if there's no demons, there's no-one to restart the cycle or to follow them or to do whatever. Even if nobody needs humans, that's no gurantee nobody will start farming humans again (see the high class, after all).

So I do think he makes sense there, but I also think it’s a bit of stubbornness and pride too.

there's too many factors and my brian is small.

. the dil-emma

Those slight confusions aside, it’s a good dilemma and I relish in it. Nobody could blame them if they did it, but Emma does have a point - do the lower ranks of society hold the blame for what the rich do? - in fact the nobles take all the quality food, leaving their other demons to starve and deform in the lower ranks, even though they don't need it. Did the two demons molded by the system they live in, who just wanted to save literal kids, deserve to die...? The class/capitalism allegory basically writes itself-

Emma is going hard on the parallels and emphasizing with them being living creatures just like them -- and I agree, honestly. Would it be fair to eradicate all of humanity just because the high class / corporations are damning the planet? (some would say yes but YKNOW)

I think Emma has a lot less footing right now -- the upper ranks have all the power, who says it’ll work this time even if they try to turn every demon? Who says they won’t be like the nobles or literally Sonju, one of their “friends” However, I don’t think Emma is being stupid - her concerns are valid. She’s not just doing it for Sonju and Mujika. Though, I still think it’d be interesting if Emma had to change her ideology, not method, this time but... I’m curious how it’ll go.

Tbh I think what it's gonna go for is the middle ground: escape to human world and hope that Sonju and Mujika will help the lower ranks of society and hopefully not be killed. But then again, Sonju wants to eat humans so rip

If they want to ensure some more power to Sonju and Mujika, then 1) flee to human world and kill nobles and farm administration in the process (likely included in part since the gate is in GF) and 2) then hope that demons will just accept their new found peace of not having to chase after humans and just chill in their world.

They probably also can't take every human, so there's always the risk of the cycle just starting anew (especially since as Norman said, some humans also act in self-interest. I'm curious what exactly that self-interest is, aside from getting to live peacefully potentially but even that sounds kind of like a not that epic thing in demon society. unless there's a small village for humans they've deemed worthy and are just throwing there, like what they promised Isabella - or it's just going to the human world I guess WHO KNOWS). and while I did touch upon a sort of "grey" ending for TPN where our group is safe but who knows about the rest, I am actually really curious if that's what they're going for or not. It feels like no matter what I consider something doesn't work out or doesn't feel right.

. the gates (and the human world)

I wish we would have known about gates existing prior to this episode. We never found out WHAT is at the location (just have Exposition James mention it). I understand why the pen only showed one - it’s implied the humans had a base there and of course you’d want to send escapees there and not into a farm’s gate but I think there should have still been a side note in the pen that it’s a gate?? Like clearly the farm already knows about gates if their farm is directly above it, right?? so why try to keep it secret pff-

is the implication that the highest humans are actually from the human side or how can I imagine that?? Is it actually not that rare for some humans to exist on both sides if they’re just high rank enough. A gate has no point if nobody can pass - but I guess maybe it’s just under the farm to protect it? Since you already have all those systems for the farm’s kids, why not double-utilize it as a safeguard.

why are there gates to begin with. I wonder if it's science or if that was a backdoor to the deal - but why would you even need that? I guess for human materials.

But it can’t be that nobody can cross, because I’m assuming the tech/food comes from the human world since we haven’t seen non-human farms that would provide for the farms. And if nobody can cross, deliveries will be hard...? So I’M CONFUSED.

. Nor “I just did a few tests” man

YES ANGST but also NO, BABY

Norman just loves them so much and he's running out of time >:”0 of course he'd want to go with the plan he's been cooking up. if he's not there he can't save them!

And he’s always been like that, too, as the episode very very clearly points out several times haha. He tricked them in s1 too. He might be more drastic in his methods, but he also admitted to originally only planning to escape with the two of them and he also admitted he suspected Ray first and he thought about cutting Ray off at first before he talked to Emma -- so even the more cold side isn’t all that surprising. He might also be dissociating a bit, tbh.

But it’s also so tragic,,, He thinks he can’t give them the future Emma wanted without a sacrifice. The problem just is that it was a forced sacrifice because Norman lied to them and said he'd work with them to ensure he escapes too but then didn't. He gave up and forced his defeat on the others, because he thought that it was the safer option than taking more risks (which is happening now too lol).

I also wonder if aside from just... trying to save them until he can’t anymore, a part of his motivation in pushing them away (”isn’t it tough?” - “no”) is that he won’t burden them with his turmoil. He’s their savior right? He can’t falter. If he does, Emma and Ray will just become more stubborn about stopping him. It’ll make it harder for them. Maybe it’s better if they dislike him than worrying. Maybe it’d also make Emma hate herself less if he plays the bad guy...

those are my thoughts, anyway.

. Some drug thoughts

Assumptions:

it has to be applicable large scale

I assume the lances in the demon’s body are just there to immobilize it, and not to inject. there are those bulging parts around the entry points, but we did see that also happening when Ray shot the demon eye, so I’m assuming it’s simply their reaction to bodily harm/wounds.

plus, if they have to throw 50 spears into every demon to get the drug to work that's one hell of an inefficient plan

Based on how a lot of the demon dynamics work over food, I’m assuming it’d be something like mixing it into their drinking water, but that might leave some out of they notice. (do they even drink water?)

maybe it’s also just it getting into bodily contact. that would be convenient.

also why would you want a demon in your basement that just seems risky pff

. other random things I liked

the Gilda and Emma headbump was so cute sdfudhdsjsd

Lani and Thoma mentioning the migrating birds during their tower watch and that then later coming back when the kids think about where they could be was nice!

I think her involving everyone again is a nice nod to the season's theme, including the whole putting “faith” in them. Norman doesn’t trust them with his plan. I think the bigger problem isn’t that he won’t trust Emma’s plan, because he’s not wrong to object to it, but he should still rely on his family and let them help with the plan instead of deciding it all himself. He doesn't have to literally sacrifice himself for it, again. There is the "don't burden everything by yourself" message of the season, with Emma inviting Gilda and Ray prompting Don to come with them too (probably because they realized it’d be weird to rant about Norman doing everything alone and then doing the same pff-). I think that's what they're going for, that when they work together, he won't have to suffer so much. Even if the plan doesn't change much, he should still rely on them. it is however true that they don't have that much to offer in terms of a long-term solution right now, so that's unfortunate. But we'll see what finding Mujika will bring :3

The gate being in GF ties up the story really well for this weird 2 seasons abridged. i can kinda see what they're going for with the middle arcs missing, which definitely hurts overall but I think it makes the whole thing a little more streamlined in terms of themes and coming back to what s1 was about, quite literally. they just stumbled in the execution (hard, sometimes)

The seizures :((( they’re all so broken, they need HUGS

that "what makes you so nervous?" remark from Ray and also the squad being like "we don't have long left" as the lead up to Norman’s seizure was. so good.

Norman’s seizure scene. The far shot, the blood, the “sorry” I’M EMO-

Norman’s soft “be careful” to Emma and Ray, showing that softer side again :<

Also Ray's reaction to "the gate is in gf" is just a mood haha

THE SHIPMENT PARALLELS! the sounds, grabbing his hand this time when he had to take hers during his shipment AHHH-

. other random things I didn’t like

why is Norman not taking the GF kids to his location I am confusion. MAYBE the room they're in (the building just looks like that room and the basement stuff but idk) wouldn't be big enough to comfortably live there or maybe he's too absorbed and doesn't want his siblings to find out about their seizures (which would be more likely to happen if they lived around him) and his brutal experiments (they do always somehow find every little thing in a place haha), but I feel like taking them there would still be better overall. He literally has no way of knowing if something does happen to them. I guess it could be argued he trusts them enough to be able to handle it, but if he's doing it all for them (and probably some trauma to be honest), he definitely should be more concerned and have brought them or at least let one of the lambda kids stay with them.

My friends and I literally everytime they left for food, we already were like "great, leave the kids alone". I feel like in that case it's going a bit for the whole "putting trust in each other" angle but I still feel it's kind of questionable to leave them on their own too.

Overall, I think things add up but I think that’s bc I’m a) very forgiving and b) often just slap a somewhat likely/good-will explanation on things and accept that for now. It’s good for my enjoyment but it might make me seem delusional but I DO THINK that i shouldn’t have to read between the lines this much for the non-mystery elements.

the deal makes no sense from Emma’s POV, what’s her goal? Hoping Mujika’s intel and knowledge about demon society will be of help and convince Norman not to do it? but she already made it a condition to not annihilate the demons if she brings them, so I guess she just wants to give her plan a chance - but I’m not sure what she thinks Norman would see in that plan. I guess he wants to kill them because they’re unpredictable, but if he was to hold his word, their unpredictable nature wouldn’t matter since he can’t annihilate the demons anymore anyway based on his agreement (which he intends to break of course but LIKE FROM EMMA’S PERSPECTIVE. BABY WHAT YOU DOING).

So yeah... I’m definitely enjoying the ride. I can see its faults, i’m not delusional, but the base elements are interesting to think about and coming up with some explanations that make sense is also fun - though I wish there was a bit more canon ground / “connecting the dots” experience to it.

I hope I can continue to have fun with the show until it ends, at the very least. Content is content, I’m to tpn-brain-rotted pfff-

#tpn s2 #tpn anime #tpn anime spoilers #tpn anime-only #tpn theory #tori talks #tori has opinions

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handlewithkara · 4 years

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Lying about your Superhero identity: Why Clois and Westallen (Flash tv) just work and Clana (Smallville), Lauriver (Arrow) and Kara&Lena (Supergirl) don’t

A while ago, I wrote a bit about why I think the way Mon-El lied to Kara about his real identity is fundamentally different from when Kara lies about her superhero identity and the fact that she is an alien (tldr: Mon-El lies about his past, Kara lies about her present and things that are fundamental to her character).

This made me think about superheroes and their relationships in general. I have long since maintained that if one applied real life relationship standards (whether as a friendship or as a romantic relationship) to Kara and Lena, they just have a really, really awful relationship, steeped in lies and distrust.

Kara and Lena fans have always claimed that their relationship has a lot of parallels with Clark and Lois. I for one, have always felt that those so called parallels are extremely superficial and tenuous and to me completely miss the core of what Clois are about as a couple. That those things they do NOT have in common (such as being reporters who work together and Lois being drawn to Superman first, the fact that Lois does not go full on hateful psycho when she finds out the truth) are actually really important in regards to what make Clois tick.

So.... why does Clois work?

If you look at the core of it, Clark hiding his identity from Lois is, especially if looked at with modern sensibilities, is kind of skeevy.

I argue: the thing that is most often levvied against Clois as a couple and Lois as a character, namely the fact that Lois initially fawns over Superman while ignoring or discounting Clark in one way or another, is actually one of the key factors that make them work as a couple.

We can discuss whether the tendency of people to take this as the reason to call Lois is shallow (for overlooking the niceguy(tm)) is problematic in its own way. But regardless of whether it is or isn’t, it is the way that Clois has worked for the majority of its existance.

Lois being hot for Superman (or “The Blur”) while partially disregarding Clark allows them to set up a situation where both partners are flawed and both are “at fault” (Clark for lying, Lois for being “shallow”). It is what allows the reveal of Clark’s true identity to go over a lot smoother, because there is a lot more room for Lois to be portrayed as either “I should have seen it” or “Maybe I knew on some level”.

I truly think that the creators of Flash understood that and that’s why Iris initially very similarly has a flirtation with the Flash and at the same time has a good reason to not see Barry as a romantic option (one could argue that this is one of the ways that Flash “softens” or improves on Clois, because this element of Lois teasing Clark or belittling him isn’t there for Westallen and also the timing for when Iris finds out is very different from the way most longer running Clois stories (comics, cartoons, tv) do it).

A lot of the time it seems like some writers are dissatisfied with the concept of “shallow Lois” and feel tempted to “fix” the Clois formula by writing the woman as loving the “Clark” side of the Superhero. This is the case with both Smallville’s version of Clark and Lana and Arrow’s version of Ollie and Laurel, where they made them childhood sweethearts from before Oliver becomes Green Arrow.

But they all overlook that “sweetening” the woman by having her love the guy under the mask first actually completely ruins the Clois formula. Because if the girl sweet and attached to the hero, it makes the hero lying to her about his secret identity so much more morally worse and makes a bad reaction to it a lot more called for (or makes the story feel like it is missing something when there isn’t one, because then it is even more that the superhero was just basically being mean to the nice girl who loves him). It makes the relationship way more unbalanced and hence causes it to not work longterm.

I truly believe that the writers of Smallville loved Lana the character and even loved the torrid, tragic nature of Clark and Lana’s relationship. But I feel, once they introduced Lois, they noticed that ... Clois just works. No matter how unsatisfied people might be with the concept of “shallow” Lois, this story archetype just works and almost writes itself, allowing Smallville to transition from Clark and Lana as the driving relationship to Clark and Lois to the driving relationship, allowing the show to stay on the air for many additional years.

They wanted to strengthen the Clana relationship by giving them a dynamic closer to Clois by having Clark hide his identity from her, not realizing that this actually weakened them as a couple in regards to longterm potential by pitting Lana into the unattractive long suffering woman position. I believe this is the reason why they kept giving Lana so many other partners, in a deperate attempt to “balance” the scales between Clana and give Lana a bit more power in the relatinoship.

In the comics, the triangle situation of Clana versus Clois arises specifically from Lana knowing the secret and Lois not knowing it, and the core dynamic of the nice girl high school sweetheart versus the challenging high maintainance city girl. Because of this, I’m fairly certain that any attempts to do a Lana/Clark/Lois triangle will not work on the new Superman & Lois show because the Clois versus Clana dynamic (even as it is generally considered as being already decided), doesn’t work even short time when Lana does not at least temporary have it “over” Lois that Lana knows the secret and Lois doesn’t. If neither knows (like on Smallville) and if both know (like potentially on Superman and Lois) Clois is just cleanly superior.

To me this is also shown in Lauriver versus Olicity, where when you have the Smallville Clana archetype (girl loves the guy before the hero and is lied to), in that circumstance, the girl who knows (Felicity) suddenly gets the upper hand.

I think a lot of male writers fall into this trap of trying to “fix” the Clois archetype and ruining it in the process, because they view the story only from the point of view of the male character and look at it as “Oh, but wouldn’t it be so angsty if he has this girl he really loves, but he was like forced to lie to her, because he’s like just such a damn big hero and he angsts and it is this big sacrifice” and don’t realize that while it makes a good foundation for hero angst, it makes for a really crappy basis for an actual future long term healthy couple.

(I might also eventually do another post on this topic where I argue that the Clois trope is a very male centered trope and why it makes sense that it was not chosen for any of Supergirl’s romantic relationships, for the record, I think Supercat was slightly closer to having a somewhat Clois like dynamic, even though there were still some significant spins and changes to it )

#clois #clana #lauriver #westallen #anti-supercorp #supergirl #olicity #supercat #karamel

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theholycovenantrpg · 4 years

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CONGRATULATIONS, EMMA! YOU’VE BEEN ACCEPTED FOR THE ROLE OF DMITRI.

Admin Cas: There’s something so tragic about Dmitri that I love: everything about him is a contradiction. Yet, for all his love and light, he’s also really quite terrifying, and the way you balanced both of those aspects of their character was truly breathtaking, Emma. I thought your reflections on the idea of Dmitri as a sort of wingless angel was especially impressive. In spite of all the things that make them angelic, they can never truly be one with God’s angels. That, after all, is what sets him apart from their brethren; where they are ruination, he is its saving grace. I put this golden prince in your hands without fear that you’ll do wonderful things with him, and I can’t wait to see the directions you’ll go together! Please create and send in your account, review the information on our CHECKLIST, and follow everyone on the FOLLOW LIST. Welcome to the Holy Land!

OUT OF CHARACTER

Alias | Emma.

Age | 21+.

Personal Pronouns | She/Her.

Activity Level | I’m able to get a reply or two out at least once daily; depending on length, it could potentially be more or less than.

Timezone | Eastern.

Triggers | REMOVED.

How did you find the group? | LSRPG tag.

Current/Past RP Accounts | I delete my character accounts to create a blank blog for my next character account. I save snippets of threads I adore, so I’m so sorry. RIP - xoxo

IN CHARACTER

there is a swelling storm and i'm caught up in the middle of it all and it takes control of the person that i thought i was the boy i used to know.

CHARACTER

Dmitri , the Horsemen of Conquest

DRAW TO CHARACTER

I’ve never been the type to write a sample for a character before fleshing out the other bits first, but Dmitri’s voice whispered, begging to be explored as soon as I read their biography. The first sample you’ll read below was the initial picture I painted and kept throughout this application because Dmitri resembled that of a poor Icarus, who simply overindulged in something not meant for him to enjoy.

I imagined Dmitri in the seconds after creation gasping at the sights of Heaven, reaching back for white wings — only to be met by their bareback. Shoulders aching for the flight of angels, the purity evident in their veins to be his own, God’s presence given at a moments notice.

Yes — I very clearly drew these small, delicate details from a few lines, but Cas wrote this character in such a way I felt the weight of Dmitri’s needs as if they were my own to be met. The biography held me captive to do whatever would be in my ability to give this character justice for what they were never gifted. I still get butterflies reading over the biography and couldn’t stop what followed.

This application is my confession of love for Dmitri, and I would even offer to say this could be read as a fever dream because isn’t that what God would want? His beloved, lastly mad Horsemen to be written in a state of complete and total euphoria for conquest and recklessness… but more importantly, I hope to show how beautifully flawed this character is to desire to be loved by a dead God, and the journey I would take them on to realize their purpose was never tied to God’s needs.

FUTURE PLOTS

SUMMARY: I’ve written these in a format of progression based on what I think could occur first in-game based off of current connections, and Dmitri’s direct link of being a Horsemen, making it far more likely to push said plot first. Each builds upon the other in a sense of a video game character skill branching system. As in, I’ve written some answers or may propose them in a way, which would directly change a plot below it. Hope this helps explain the mess which is about to occur below!

FUTURE OF THE HORSEMEN

what happens to those who were meant to end a world already destroyed?

Their purpose set forth to them by God has come to no fruition as the world destroyed itself, at least in a way. Each Horsemen dealing with their new identity as a mercenary in their own way, but I can only speak from the perspective of Dmitri. When it comes to them, the Horsemen are family. They came from the same Gos as them, shaped from different moments but important just the same. Their future as a whole could be explored by each Horsemen’s motivation. For Dmitri, the idea of leaving them to go elsewhere seems far-fetched at first; a type of daydream when the cleanup after a job is too heavy to stay focused on. If given a bigger glimpse at something else, something Dmitri could find himself desiring to do, I imagine the Horsemen could find a strain.

FUTURE OF THE HEALING

what is the purpose of being one of healing if you watched the wounds be inflicted?

Building upon a strain forming within the Horsemen, Dmitri would first need to experience something so terrifyingly out of character for them to do, which could trigger a wave of events to follow. The concept of using their healing ability seems to be the “fun” direction as this golden boy not being able to save someone caught in the crossfires would be an angst ridden thread to experience. I want to shape his tenderness in a way to correlate with his healing. Dmitri’s process of healing someone is something I haven’t ventured much into yet — but I imagine the sight of it to be something beautiful, almost too beautiful to fully understand what you’re looking at. This light bringer among those who only bring darkness is the difference enough to push the first plot and this one forward.

FUTURE OF THE LOVED AND WORSHIPPED

what does one do with love and praise when all they expected was hate?

Imagine the first time someone witnessed Dmitri healing a mortal. Who was it? What occurred? No one who lives now among the mortals knows, yet their growing affection towards him makes me feel as if he’s gotten his own personal tale passed between them. Here in this new found love among men, I think Dmitri sees what he’s always wanted out of life, rather existence. It’ll be such a wild ride of secret trips to different parts of the world to see if he finds this love and praise everywhere. He’d be drunk over this, but there also comes the dark side of being given something kept from you for so long. Yes, I would love for this beautiful, precious Horsemen to ride happily off into the sunset… but there’s definitely some trauma left from God. Here within this, I find Dmitri’s breaking point could take place and all of the above could shatter.

Are you comfortable with killing off your character? | yes — given a month’s notice and option to decline? i feel as if the answer would be different depending on how they were to die and character development, if this makes sense.

IN DEPTH

but there is a lightin the dark, and i feel its warmth

in my hands and my heart why can't i hold on?

CHARACTER MOTIVATION

It’s unknown at first- their motivation. Perhaps, God always intended the existence of those who were meant to cause the end of the world to possess no motivation. Life to them, the Horsemen, was simply a story already written down in the stars, yet Dmitri walked out into the New World with the story finished and no part to play in it. Purgatory had warped their glowing essence, satisfying God’s need to prevent prayers said to Conquest over the God of Creation.

Yet motivations can still be rather fickle when they were never intended for you. Dmitri’s creation came from the infinite love God felt for man, yet they were never meant to have this (this being love) as their backbone. No, they were to indulge their fellow Horsemens’ wrath by mending the blows they were destined to cause. Their gift, their healing, their voice. All things given by God to serve a purpose not their own. Somewhere between all of the havoc and chaos of this world, there had to come a time where Dmitri sought to figure it out.

Their motivation laid rotting within the crevices of darkness and filth they called home all these centuries. Purgatory did it’s job more so than God could have ever intended because Dmitri struggled with purpose outside of God’s. Sunshine filled his veins in a way the darkness fed off of and merely left the Horsemen of Conquest bare. So walking out of, rather escaping from, Purgatory to Dmitri awakened this desire for answers. With the death of God, Dmitri discovered their rebirth into something rather ungodly as he wanted to become everything God never intended on him to be: loved.

From this death, Dmitri has discovered a solace with mortals he’d never found with the fellow Horsemen as there’s something to be said in regards to being made last. He didn’t resemble the others completely as he felt a mirror to man more so than his Horsemen. I imagine actions and motivation for him to be teetering currently as his own questions in the regards of ‘what’s next?’ as having a calling as a mercenary never sat well with him. He wants to be loved in a way God had left unspoken between them over the possibility of competition.

SUMMARY: Throughout interactions and inner thoughts expressed throughout this roleplay, I would love to dive into the future plots tying into Dmitri’s motivations above with the balance of being deemed as loved or worshipped. Dmitri needs to be loved, yet I think if it ever rocked towards him being worshipped, it’d be a nice little shift of what truly motivates him. Overall, I find my motivating factor to be Dmitri’s voice and relationships with the Horsemen due to my overall understanding of how much he truly values them. Yes, he’s always wanted more for himself, but there’s always going to be the glimpses of why he is among their ranks. He isn’t pure as the angels or as mischievous as the demons, but I find Dmitri’s complexities something of value as a character in a world without restraints.

IN-CHARACTER PARA SAMPLES

i. DREAMS AND THE HEREAFTER

‘Icarus, my son — your wings are too brittle for the warmth of light. Now, I shall watch you burn with the rest.’ Or was the name spoken across the lips of God dmitri? Did he curve the appetite of man’s undeserving love of their creator by existing? Were his screams - for more - not enough to make the tear from God’s eye a regret?

‘But father, I shall fly with you. We can escape together. No mortal shall ever have to look upon our faces again. We can finally be--’ Scorned brow silenced all of his pleas, bringing the truth to the forefront. Dmitri dreamed before the tear was ever caught and molded into the literal form of his being. They knew of themself from the perspective of God’s eye and convinced themself of something which wasn’t there. ‘Am I never to be free of this burden then? Am I to suffer?’

They painted a world where they crawled from the depths of Purgatory, where their strength came from the purity of man, where God Himself welcomed Dmitri back into Heaven as if he’d never gone. In this recurring dream, God would realize the mistake to tuck away his most prized creation.

The final Horsemen did not deserve the caverns of impermeable darkness Purgatory supplied them because somewhere in the infinite of his existence, he truly believed himself to bare wings.

‘Suffer? Suffer! You are the brilliance of life; my creation. Do you wish to know what I plan to do with you? Follow me, Conquest. Your domain awaits.’

Their eyes open with horror, memories of a man - rather a god who loved him less. A god who created him by mistake. An outstretched arm from active slumber finds its way back onto their chest, an unsteady rise and fall of breaths lost. His own torment from sleep a self-given punishment as he allowed himself to fall into the corners of his own mind. The hidden doors which locked memories long forgotten as he believed himself to be more than he was.

God regretted shedding a tear for out came the brightest of shadows, the technicolor snake of dispute in the form of a golden angel. They were truly no closer than their brethren to bearing wings, but if one deserved them, Dmitri would declare themself so.

Instead of wings, however, cascading down their back, you would find a seeping hole of nothing; a hollowed out mine of what could have become of them. It is the wickedness they hide beneath enchanting smiles, minor suggestions, and lack of resolve which will keep their back bare. Denial being a sort of game which they’ve mastered over the years.

Once, one might have spotted the prospect of gold, sinless existence within them, but they were not created like the other angels, the other horsemen, the other fallen. They were made as the result of emotion, and one knew what followed closely with emotions — mistakes or rather the sins of man.

They were the rotten cavities created over years of divulging in sweets, buried in the crevices of newborn teeth who hadn’t the taste of sugar.

And in their devastation, Dmitri destined themself to find the answers which God withheld from them.

ii. DENIAL IN THE FORM OF SINFUL BEAUTY

“You’re late — again.” A simple nod towards either Nerissa or Viktoria felt enough to find his place among his family, his fellow Horsemen.

One thumb found its way to his temple before releasing a heavy sigh. “Dreams haunt me recently.

“You mean nightmares.” Nerissa could never resist correcting him over something so miniscule as words, yet this simple exchange caused a growing irritation to sprout wings and turn into complete rage.

His temples tensed, nostrils flared with fingernails already cutting at the skin of his palm. “You honestly think I’m mortal enough to switch the meaning of two words, War?” Tongue pressed against the back of their teeth, Dmitri allowed their body to sink into their assigned chair, of sorts. Each had a place within the others home as if each home belonged to all four of them collectively.

“Someone woke up feeling out of place again.” Always Ryuk with a quick word before letting the storm brew on.

“It’s the dreams — I wake up in horror over...” Their eyes, washed in an array of gold, scanned the softness of their palms, the lack of scars on their flesh, the harrowing displacement of havoc in their words, and the deficiency of darkness their fellow Horsemen possessed. “...for it is the dream I can never grasp.”

With the unblemished palm, he wiped away at both of their eyes, trying to remove the hints of sleep behind them. More importantly, he wanted more than anything to remove any attempt of truth being proven by Nerissa’s words.

Harsh snarled laughter came from the corner of their domain, mocking their spiral for something less than what it was. To Dmitri, they saw these dreams as something more of an awakening, uncovering their last moments with God.

“What is the point of man if not to suffer, dear Dmitri?”

“But I am no man!” Fists shattered the monotony of the discussion, calling in the last ounce of sanity any of them could take as they stood from the table. “I am no god.” The once golden irises, which mirrored the glory of the sun’s warmth, now mimicked the lava spewing from a devastating volcano. “I am Conquest, and I shall suffer no more!”

Here in the brilliant, pure light of their anger, their risen voice, the very might of their denial gave birth to something else.

A soft chuckle from the other side of the room destroyed any build up between the others as Viktoria waltzed over to them.

“He’s not wrong… None of us are man, so none of us shall suffer.” Viktoria’s hand draped over theirs with a tenderness they’d only felt from the mortals, but it was enough to show Dmitri the horsemen had the ability to give him what he wanted.

#accepted #accepted: dmitri

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renaroo · 4 years

Text

Resonance (1/15)

Disclaimer: Spider-Man, Miles Morales, and associated characters are the creative property of Marvel Comics. Into the Spider-Verse and associated characters are creative property of Sony Pictures. Both of these things and neither of them are true, all I ask is to not be sued. Warnings: Teen Angst, Pregnancy, Mourning Pairings: PeterxMJ in many forms Rating: T Synopsis: Miles Morales is the brand new Spider-Man with all the responsibilities, burdens, and heartache therein. With the crowds being harder to please and his rogues gallery looking more formidible by each day, Miles doubts his competency as the one and only Spider-Man. At first, he looks to his predecessor’s support group for advice, and what he ends up getting is a lot more complications.

A/N: I have been a Spider-Man fan since birth, all owed to my dad and uncle who were the family comic book nerds and collectors long before I came around. I grew up on the adventures of Peter Parker and, when I was old enough to buy my own comics, I was obsessed with following more members of the spider-family from Mayday Parker to Anya Corazon. But in the last decade or so, my interest in really writing or drawing for the Spiders was put on the backburner.

Into the Spider-Verse reignited my love, though, and it’s become one of my favorite movies as well as responsible for making me a full Spider-fan again. I knew I wanted to pay tribute to that and just what a fantastic job the movie did, but I wasn’t sure what story I wanted to tell until recently.

So I hope this is an enjoyable ride for you guys, I’ve been having a blast writing it. It’s going to be a long one! Let’s hope I can keep to a Friday Updates schedule~

Chapter One: The Real Deal

Every morning for the last month had started the same.

His alarm sounded, he groaned in rhythm to its blaring, turned over, fumbled with his phone, and turned it off. Then, just before he could gently float back into sleep, the alarm in the bunk beneath him would sound off and a hand would slap the baseboard to encourage him to get a move on.

Miles appreciated, but also hated, that his roommate had taken the news about him being Spider-Man so well.

“Okay,” Ganke Lee said, fully awake as he slid from his mattress to his computer chair, smoothly sliding across their dorm floor toward his desk. He listed off the assignments that both of them had due for the day, things that Miles should have completed the night before. Checking them in the morning kept his grades from slipping due to his nighttime adventures. And the moment Miles good sleepily assert that they were all done, Ganke would turn on the four monitors to his desk.

The glare of the light was always enough to force Miles into dawning acceptance that Ganke wasn’t letting up.

He stretched, nursed any wounds or bruises, then leap with extra-human flexibility and athleticism from the top bunk to the dressers on the other side of the room.

In the early days, Ganke would have excitedly taken it in. A month after, Ganke wasn’t even looking Miles’ direction.

“Okay,” Ganke said again, turning in his chair to present Miles with a map for his morning run as Spider-Man. “If you do this in thirty minutes, you’ll have time for a shower.”

Miles murmured incoherently, slipping into the legs of his suit before he even glanced at the map. Once he did, he dropped his shoulders and threw back his head. “Man! You’ve gotta be kidding me! Yancy Street? I always run into something on Yancy Street. And when I run into things on Yancy Street, I won’t be back in thirty minutes, are you kidding?”

“And then it’ll look great that the new Spider-Man is doing good before eight in the morning on everyone’s commutes,” Ganke pointed out knowingly. “Not to mention, hard to find out that the new Spider-Man is a student at Brooklyn Visions Academy if he’s spotted thirty minutes away before school starts.”

Pulling on the rest of his suit and reaching for his mask, Miles hesitated. He looked intently at Ganke for a moment. “You know, I’ve been Spider-Man for over a month now,” he said. “How long do you think they’ll still be calling me the new Spider-Man? When do I just become the Spider-Man?”

Ganke pulled a pained expression and tilted his head. “You sure you want that? To be the Spider-Man already?”

No, Miles didn’t want it. But it was a thought that was already nagging him.

Sighing, Miles looked from his mask to Ganke’s mask. “Yancy Street and back? You’re killing me with these morning workouts, man.”

With his mask pulled on, Miles ran for the window that Ganke eagerly sprung open.

“Wouldn’t be a workout if it wasn’t hard!” Ganke encouraged him all the way out of the building.

The moment the wind rushed against his face, the haze of sleep and morning dreariness left Miles’ body. Every muscle, every bone was in motion, flying into the air. He breathed in Brooklyn and then, with his web-shooters at the ready, shot toward the nearest building with confidence.

After a month, the motion Peter — but not that Peter — taught him was already second nature.

Aim with the hips, look where you want it to hit, double-tap to release, thwip it out again, swing, release, thwip—

He could have swung through the entire city, but he had grown warier of the overuse of his web-shooters after a few weekends of just that attitude. There was nothing more aggravating than being low on the web fluid than being low on it when he needed them. And Ganke was still experimenting with the formula they obtained, insisting his batches were still too unreliable compared to what Miles could pick up at the Parker household.

And, somewhat cowardly, Miles had gone out of his way to avoid being in the Parker household more than absolutely necessary in his month as Spider-Man.

Miles utilized his newly enhanced athleticism to land at the top of a building and hit the ground running. His feet carried him quicker than they ever have in his life before, and he hadn’t even broken out in sweat yet.

Whenever he did grow his backbone again and heads to Ms. Parker’s house, he was going to thank her for the extremely breathable fabric she has made his suit from. Then again, that might broach the topic of how she didn’t build the suit for him. She built it for the original Spider-Man.

Her nephew. The Spider-Man who died a hero before Miles had even an inkling of his own potential.

When the next building over was too tall for Miles to simply leap to its roof, Miles exercised his wall-crawling.

His fingers and toes locked adhesively to the surfaces of the buildings and he shimmied across.

Strangely enough, the crawling had been the most bizarre bodily sensation for Miles as he continued stretching his spider-legs, so to speak. Swinging and leaping were challenges that had grown into thrills. But crawling had made his body contort and move repeatedly in a way that felt so unfamiliar to jumping or walking.

Ganke has suggested he watch videos of real spiders crawling, but that sounded too weird even for Miles.

He wondered if any of the other Spider-People had felt this way about crawling. It was a question that would be worth asking if he ever got the chance.

More than anything else, though, wall-crawling ate more into his morning run’s allotted time than running or swinging did. As a result, it was the thing that needed his practice the most and happened to get it the least on most mornings.

The moment Miles was out of his comfort zone, out of the Brooklyn limits, he changed tactics and shifts to swinging again.

He was under half of his time and has already reached Yancy Street. If he had any luck, he could have turned around then and there, called the morning successful, and headed back to Brooklyn Visions Academy without anyone the wiser.

Spider luck true to form, there was a disturbance on Yancy Street. A hold up in a deli, but Miles was quick to take care of it.

Rather, the new Spider-Man is quick to take care of it.

He even figured, since he had wall crawled a good amount of his travel, he could spare the extra web fluid on thwips for each of the gunmen’s mouths. Just to avoid the general annoyance factor.

And while Miles would go to his grave confidently declaring that the best delis in the city were found in Brooklyn, he traitorously accepted the Yancy Street deli owner’s offer of a breakfast burrito to go.

Its aluminum foil shined at him with the early morning sunlight as Miles got back onto his rooftop trail and beckoned him to slow down, take a break, and breathe in the sweet aromas.

He was working out so much as Spider-Man, he had to have doubled his calories over the month, so the breakfast burrito wasn’t going to set him back so far as meals were concerned.

After a few savory moments with the burrito, his wristwatch went off, forcing Miles to realize that he was off his time and there was almost no way he was going to have time for a shower when he got back.

“Aw, man,” he groaned, gripping to his burrito in one hand while lining up with his next building. Aim with the hips.

To further show off just how much he had mastered the art of swinging, Miles made it the rest of the way to the academy one-handed, finishing each bite of his burrito along the way.

He also made it a point to land on the recycling bend and toss the foil, pose with a kid from Brooklyn Middle for a selfie, and backflip over traffic before swinging the rest of his way to school.

Miles scaled the walls, found the custodial closet window Ganke had strategically unlocked for him and dressed for his day in less than thirty seconds.

He smelled like sweat and breakfast burritos by the time he emerged into the hallway and raced toward his first class of the day. But Miles also figured that there were few first-year boys who didn’t have similar smells to them anyway.

Deep down, at least, he knew he had the excuse of being the new Spider-Man.

And that was nearly enough satisfaction on its own to let him pass through the day.

Ganke’s schedule was an A-block compared to Miles’ own B-block, with their only real intersecting class throughout the week being chemistry. It made their rendezvous much tighter two out of the five days, kept mostly to the hallways and cafeteria.

Yet, even with those constraints, Ganke’s presence had become instrumental to Miles’ day functioning.

“There’s a pop quiz in Schaffer’s pre-calc,” Ganke informed him, taking a look at the leftover web shooter fluid.

“What, really?” Miles asked in disbelief, he looked down at his books. He hadn’t even grabbed his pre-calc. “I’m doing fine in there. Shaky on the sine and cosine stuff, but you’ll never get me off my tangents.”

For a moment, it seemed like Ganke hadn’t heard him, forcing Miles to laugh at his own joke. Then Ganke looked up over his glasses with one brow raised. “Seriously?”

“I’m seriously good with pre-calc,” Miles assured him. “Though you sure you’re not going to get locked up in nerd prison for letting lowly ol’ me know about a pop quiz?”

“Why? Everyone whispers warnings about quizzes around here, have since the first day,” Ganke shrugged.

“Oh,” Miles expressed, glancing off. It was still difficult to be confronted with the fact that he had not made friends at the school despite his mother’s encouragement and his mild lies to his father about doing just that. He swallowed dryly. “Well, thanks for breaking the nerd code for me.”

“You’re going to have to replace these probably by tomorrow,” Ganke warned him.

“We’ve got chem lab tomorrow, we could make some together while Doc Kuranja isn’t looking,” Miles offered. “You said you had some ideas.”

“Are you kidding? We still don’t know if my use of the regular formula is stable or not yet!” Ganke squeaked back. “I don’t want them to blow on you or harden on you or—“

Miles pulled a face, noticing that Ganke’s word choice and hyperventilating was drawing some unwarranted attention. He held up his hands and motioned for Ganke to lower. “Dude, chill! It was just a suggestion. I’ve still got, y’know, my contact. My person.”

Finally, Ganke breathed easier. “Sorry. I just don’t want to kill Spider-Man.”

Flinching slightly, Miles glanced off. “Yeah, I get that.”

“Here,” Ganke said, handing back the web-shooters. “For your, uh, web person.”

“Right,” Miles said, quickly storing the shooters away in the backpack he had put on over his chest. He shuffled them toward the back of the mess he had shoved in, crunching and scraping other unknowns within the bag’s depths.

“I’ll catch you at lunch, good luck on your pre-calculus not-so-pop quiz,” Ganke said after an intense scan of his watch. He didn’t wave, didn’t wait for Miles’ reply. He just took off in the direction of the language arts wing and left Miles slightly off balance.

“Yeah, sure, man,” Miles called after him, though it appeared to be on deaf ears.

He waited a moment before walking toward the math wing himself, thinking over his recent lessons. Each angle, each parabola, though, always came back to web-swinging across the city, to his gravity and momentum. It was the only thing he could think about.

Lucky for him, unlike in English, it translated fairly well to the material.

When he finished up pre-calculus and headed for lunch, Miles actually felt very good about everything that had gone on in his day, missing a morning shower notwithstanding.

And, strangely, lunch was more pleasurable and something to look forward to when he knew for a fact that he would have someone else sitting with him.

What he was less prepared for, however, was the ever-present call of his other responsibilities.

The moment it was three-fifteen and the final bells for the day rang, Miles could feel the vibrations of his phone in his pocket.

While other students walked to the commons, out to the plaza, or just to their dorms to get started on another night full of work, Miles stood and answered his phone.

“Mami?” he answered the call, same as every other school day, and proceeded to start a thirty-minute conversation.

The only times they were shorter were when his mom was on call at work and had to be pulled away. If she were at home, like she was that day, she was willing to stretch the call for an hour. It was easier for her to do that by, every ten minutes or so, pawning the phone off to Miles’ dad who rattled on about work and the weather and occasionally a semi-positive story about the new Spider-Man.

It was more than a little tiresome.

Miles still had things to check off on his list of a regular day — schoolwork and artwork and some new training plan Ganke had tried to sell him the night before. It felt like every moment of phone time was cutting into that.

But the urgency of getting off the phone grew more immediate when he passed through the main corridor and saw the crowds of other students gathered, staring up at the big monitor screen.

Hesitating, Miles walked back and missed whatever story his mother was in the middle of telling as he watched the breaking news alert.

Massive robbery taking place in Brooklyn, costumed robber shooting electricity everywhere and cackling maniacally, there was a need for the new Spider-Man.

At the same time he could hear his father shuffling around and shouting something on the other end of the phone, Miles began racing out of the commons area. “Mami! Sorry, something just came up, I’ve gotta go! Playing, uh, chess after school! ¡Te amo! ¡Hasta luego!”

“Miles—“ his mother began to argue but Miles hung up on her, fully knowing he would get an earful from it later.

The moment he was out of the school and ducking into an alley, Miles was shuffling through his mess of a backpack. Toward the bottom, barely hidden beneath assignments and art books, was Miles’ already sweaty suit and his web-shooters.

“Man, I have got to get organized,” he noted to himself.

Once he had his suit, changing was a quick matter. He even had his mask on before his phone went off again, that time with the default setting picture of a dinosaur signaling Ganke. Miles was quick to answer.

“Dude,” Ganke’s voice came through clearly.

“I saw! I’m on the way!” Miles informed him, stuffing his uniform sloppily into his backpack and slinging it over his shoulders.

“Do you know who that is?” Ganke asked.

“Know who who is?” Miles asked, already using his free hand and his feet to climb up the side of the school for greater height.

“The bank robber, it’s the old Spider-Man’s villain,” Ganke explained hurriedly. “But I think it’s different? Electro.”

“Electro for electricity, clever,” Miles said, reaching the top of the building and rotating so that his back was to the wall. He looked forward, aimed with his hips, set his eyes on the target.

“Yeah, but it’s different,” Ganke insisted. “It might be a different person.”

“Ganke, call me back after and we’ll talk about it, I promise! Right now I’ve gotta get going so I need both hands,” Miles informed him.

“No you don’t, you had a burrito on your way back this morning,” Ganke argued. “This is important, Spider-Man.”

“It might be a different dude in the mask, that puts Electricity-o and me on the same foot. I’ve got this, Ganke, I’m not as big of a dummy as you thought I was when we got roomed together, remember?” Miles groaned. He shot the web shooter and kicked off from the school. “Catch me on the news!”

He swung through the city, mindlessly putting his phone back into his backpack midair, then used both arms to swing.

Beneath him, Miles could hear the awes and supportive shouts of the citizens below.

There was still mourning, still We Love You P.P. signs throughout the city, but in the past month, there was more hope, more relief as Miles swung through the streets. Because New York needed Spider-Man again.

And Miles felt rewarded and assured to be that guy. The guy.

It fueled him to go faster, to prove himself and all the faith the other Spider-People had shown in him the last month.

Because the specifics of the bank and Electro weren’t part of the routine, but the new Spider-Man was — Miles being there for his city was as routine and in his bones by that point as the suit itself.

He was so full of confidence as he came across the bank, he barely flinched when the front wall’s brick and glass were blown out by an explosive flash. Miles steadied himself, resting against the walls as he waited for a clear view of Electro to come out.

And Electro did, bright greens and yellows of the suit visible from streets away.

What Miles wasn’t expecting was for the rest of her figure. “Okay,” he said, tilting his head, “maybe Ganke did have more to let me know before I hung up. Because I never remember Electro looking like that on the news.”

Police cars filed in, sirens blaring, and immediately jumped out of their cars, guns at the ready.

With a smirk, Electro slung a duffle bag over her shoulder with one hand then slung the freehand outward toward all of the vehicles.

Electricity poured from her fingertips and sent most of the vehicles flying back.

“I’ve got this!” Miles rallied himself as he leaped from his perch.

With the push of his legs, Miles sent his body flying at an incline toward the police officers. Toward the arc of his descent, he used his web-shooters to rapid-fire aim at the chest of each of the officers in trouble. The moment he had made web contact with their chests, he aimed his left web shooter for the top of the bank building and grabbed onto both sets of lines.

His own body the fulcrum, Miles twisted into a swing and hoisted the leveraged officers up with him. It was enough force to lift all of them out of danger and to pull up with Miles’ swing.

There were a number of yells, but no one was around the police cars as they crashed or exploded against the electric propulsions of Electro.

For her part, Electro seemed to have subscribed to the cool guys don’t look at explosions school of thought and was beginning to walk confidently down the street before Miles interrupted her plans. She quickly turned on her heels and locked her sights on Miles.

“Well, I was wondering when I’d get a chance to swing at the new little bug on the streets,” she growled.

“Wow, never been called a bug before!” Miles scoffed, landing on the other side of the street and putting down the officers with him. Most of them seemed dazed if not outright ready to vomit from the experience. “Don’t worry, officers, I’ve got this!”

Confidently, Miles turned on his heels only to be sent flying back.

The pain was immense. Arguably the worst pain he’d felt since taking on Kingpin nearly a month ago. His every muscle and sinew jerked violently against him. Nothing was listening to his brain’s directions and, worst of all, his brain felt as though it had been lit on fire.

He was on his back on the sidewalk before his lungs could expand again. They crackled at the rush of air and Miles felt as though his heart was seizing in his chest.

His fingers and toes were curled as his arms began to somewhat listen to him again. He pushed through the pain, trying to uncurl every joint and move them. Finger by finger, toe by toe. There was a smell of burning rubber that was getting harder and harder to ignore as well as a terrible pain in his back.

“Spider-Man!”

“GET UP!”

“She’s coming!”

“Oh my god!”

His ears felt muffled but, somewhat obtusely, Miles could feel the warnings he was getting. None, though, was louder than the Spider-Sense blaring into every nerve, every vibration in his body. He coughed through another painful breath and beat his clenched fist on the ground.

“No matter what, always get back up!” he berated himself. “No matter how many times I get hit, I always get back up!”

Two green, insulated boots came to a stop right in front of Miles on the sidewalk just as his vision began to clear. When he visually traced them upward, he saw the slick greens and yellows of the suit and, most aggravating of all, the shiny toothed grin of Electro.

“Cute motto, bug,” she joked. Slowly, she drew up one hand, the fingers ungloved as she put two together and formed a gun to point at him. “Can’t get up when you’re dead.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Miles sassed back before holding up his right web shooter and shooting it straight onto her hand, insulating it with a massive glove of web. THWIP.

“What the—“ Electro sputtered, stepping back in surprise.

She was attempting to reground herself, but Miles was on his feet and shooting another dose of web fluid onto her knees, tying her legs together. THWIP.

“Why you—“ THWIP.

He shot another web over her mouth, causing her to roar, albeit muffled.

Grinning underneath his mask, Miles aimed his left web shooter for her exposed hand.

TH—

The sputtering noise caught Miles by surprise, and he looked down at his web shooter as he attempted a second time. It didn’t even make a noise, just compressed air wheezing through. “Uh-oh,” he muttered, looking to his right hand as it did the same.

He was out, and he had shown off with the web-shooters before covering Electro’s other available hand.

As Miles looked back, he could see Electro using her free hand to rip off the web from her mouth. A dangerous look grew on her face as she took the same freehand and pointed right for Miles’ chest.

“Hey, kid, ever been around a bug zapper?” she asked cockily just before lighting Miles up.

If the first blast of electricity had been painful, Miles was sent into another world by the second blast. He was thrown back, hitting into the bricks of the opposing building. His entire body seized up and sent him crumpling to the ground. He folded over his stomach and let out a pained groan.

His entire body was painful and throbbing as he lifted his head up just enough and watched Electro walking away with ease.

“Oh, well,” she called in a sing-song voice, “wonder if the real Spider-Man would’ve given me a workout.”

It took some time, and the assistance of two of the officers he had saved earlier, but Miles got back up.

As much as the shock from Electro had stung, the embarrassment and the words stung even more.

Not to mention the embarrassment of having to use his invisibility to walk back to the school without his web-shooters to rely on.

He had a bad feeling, after a month of being Spider-Man, things were not about to get easier for him.

#Miles Morales #Spiderman #Ganke Lee #writing #spider fic #Spider: Resonance

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