#but there’s this little part of me that’s like. this guy knows halsey. what if he’s also met yoongi. 👀

[willowfey]

my parents just had a meeting with someone who worked with lin manuel miranda and tomorrow (the next day? i don’t remember) they’re meeting with a writer/producer that’s worked with halsey meanwhile i am sitting here editing my little pictures to print out and put on my wall. and havin a great time

[goldenlikedayl1ght]

//sorry guys i know i already posted this but i'm reposting it so the masses can see okay awesome so sorry about this it's rather filthy

oh this is an old man logan fic inspired by colors by halsey you know the one

18+

"everything is gray/ his hair, his smoke, his dreams/and now he's so devoid of color/he don't know what it means."

-colors by halsey

i'm really specifically thinking about a relationship with him that starts out sort of casual-- you're young, spending busy days running around in some office, being some rich asshole's favorite thing to boss around.

but at night, you're his. and perhaps even more valuable, he's yours. sure, he drives people around, but on his nights off, he spends long nights that are too short in the shitty studio apartment you rent. he fucks you into the sheets that used to live in your college dorm room, and you are mesmerized by the gray of his beard (and maybe a little bit by the fact that he has such a beard).

one time, he wears pulls out these reading glasses and--

well--

he's sitting on the end of your bed, fumbling with an old book you wanted him to read. he's never been much of a reader, but he thinks to himself, he's not getting any younger, besides, he keeps you in a part of his heart that he wouldn't ever let anyone in to.

it's a scifi novel, you tell him, all about immigration, and the concept of a world without strict borders. it's a love story, you mention, and yet, it's a war story.

so he pulls out his reading glasses to read the back, and immediately, you're turned on. you can tell he's actually invested in it, the way his eyebrows furrow as his eyes adjust to the new look of the text.

what does take him by surprise is when he realizes you're kneeling between his legs, fumbling for the waistline of his pants, like your god damn life depends on it. his lips twitch into a smile.

"i just filled you up, what, ten minutes ago, and you're already begging for more?" he uses 'begging' because you remind him of a puppy, quietly asking for a treat.

"can't help it," you answer quickly, and before you can ask for anymore, he grips your hair in his free hand.

"what got you so worked up, kid?" you whine at the nickname, trying to pull away now, but his grip on your hair is stronger than your desire to get away is. "tell me." he says it like it's an ultimatum. tell him the truth or you won't be sucking anything.

"your glasses." you confess, and he scoffs, this sadistic sort of half chuckle.

"turned on by an old man's poor sight?" he ponders.

"are you complaining that your age turns me on and makes me want your cock in my mouth?"

he grips your hair tighter, a mean name dancing on his tongue.

"what did your daddy do to you to turn you into such a slut?" and your face burns, maybe with embarrassment, maybe with lust.

"fuck off."

his hand slaps your cheek, in a sort of half slap, half tap, and goes, "language." as if he won't have the filthiest mouth as soon as your tongue reaches his cock. then, he notices the way your thighs squeeze together when he says it with such authority, the way your eyes soften just a bit.

then, his hand grips your chin, pulling it up, as he bends down, your faces just inches apart-- as he leans, you hear his back creak just a bit.

he has that shit eating smirk on his face, as he gently kisses you, such a sharp contrast to his actions, to his words, to the way he fucks you.

you try to chase his lips as he pulls away just a bit, but his grip keeps you right where he wants you. then, he whispers,

"you're all mine, kid."

you can't find the words to deny it.

[eureka-its-zico]

Chaos in Their Bones Ch. 6

Ongoing Series

Synopsis: All your life you’d listened to your friend, Usopp spin wild tales about pirates and adventure. Pirates weren’t a thing that came often to Syrup Village, but one straw hat pirate and his crew changed all that the day they arrived. Now, you aren’t so sure if your sleepy little village was always pirate-free or if no one had been paying attention.  

Pairing: Roronoa Zoro x Reader

Genre: friends to lovers, frenemies to lovers, slow burn (I hope y’all like aching) eventual smut

Words: 16.7+

A/N:  I swear I don’t start writing chapters with the intention of making them like this. The next chapter is probably going to be smaller because I get so much anxiety giving you guys these big beefy chapters. This chapter is HEFTY and full of angst. There are more one-on-one interactions with the crew members to start bringing everything together. I'm not going to lie, I struggled a lot writing this week because I started to think my writing was trash. I know it’s not necessarily true but ya. I prevailed enough to bring you this. As always, thank you, guys, for all the love and support. For always being so kind and loving my story as much as you do. I hope you all continue to enjoy this story🖤 Much Love, Jenn

P.s. This chapter is sponsored by not really  Halsey’s - Ya’aburnee 

Chapter 1  Chapter 2  Chapter 3  Chapter 4  Previous Next

The background noise that rose and fell in octaves around you told you that they were all still talking; still arguing. Usopp disappeared to find Luffy who you could only guess was inside that damn kitchen. Nami continued to try and talk sense into Zoro who ignored every word she said by lazily running his swords over the wet stone he’d placed on the galley’s island. 

“Are you even listening to me?” 

Nami was struggling to keep her voice calm but she was losing. She’d looked over at you more than a few times since you’d all evacuated to the ship to help her, but what could you magically say to make Zoro change his mind? He didn’t seem like a man who responded to pleading or demands. 

He strongly held on to his beliefs. They were a system that guided him; molded him into the pain in the ass he was now. While you watched him continue to tune Nami out it was easy to see the dedication he’d given over the years to become who he was even at a young age. 

Behind all that arrogance was a determination that sliced just as sharp as his blade. Zoro knew who he was and what he needed to do to succeed, and that was more than you could say for yourself at times. 

So…who were you to get in the way of his dream?

The answer to that was as startling as a slap to the face. You were the woman who’d fallen hopelessly in love with him, and he hadn’t even realized it yet.

While you wanted to remain steadfast and devoted to the belief that Zoro had a chance and that the probability of him defeating Mihawk was high, the realistic part of you sounded like Naan. 

“Get those foolish thoughts out of your head, girl.”

For once, you wanted to swat away all of her cynicism. All of her realism forced you to fight to still believe in magic and the good in the world around you outside of science and facts. You wanted to believe that Zoro knew what he was doing and that he was strong enough to beat a grown man almost half his age. 

The other part of you, however, howled on the inside for you to stand up and go to him. To take his face in your hands and demand that he look at you and not turn away. Zoro didn’t respond to pleading, but it didn’t keep your own cries from weighing heavy on your tongue. 

Don’t do this. Stay with me. Make a new dream - with me. 

All your life Usopp and you imagined what it would be like to get off the island. To put Syrup Village behind you, all the pain and unknowns that never received answers. You could both leave on your own adventures and replace all the painful memories with ones aboard ships and the open seas of possibilities. 

You never imagined you’d meet people like Luffy or Nami. Like him. 

Looking at Zoro now as he dragged his sword over the stone one last time you felt your heart sink. Zoro had placed all three swords neatly on the table and took his time giving them adequate deadly attention. He didn’t seem bothered that you and Nami were in the room and sheltered out anything she tried to tell him. 

Nami was begging in her own way. What could you possibly say that would change his mind? She was looking at you now, as your arms wrapped so tightly around yourself - constricting the breath from your lungs making it impossible to formulate words. You were holding on so tight because you knew if you let go, you might run to him. 

“Doc-“ the sound of her calling you jolted you out of your thoughts and back into the present. Back to where you didn’t want to be. Nami was flying her eyes like a whip from you and back to Zoro as if you needed help knowing where to direct your pleas. “Is there anything you want to add here?”

Fuck 

Zoro looked up. He actually looked up from what he was doing to look at you. Shit. Did he want you to say something? Or did he just want to know if you were going to be another obstacle in his way?

“I-“  I don’t know what to say. 

What did she expect you to say? Everything you wanted to say wasn’t meant to blurt out in front of her or anyone else. You were still trying to process that you were admitting to yourself that all the feelings you felt weren’t just indigestion. That it wasn’t just the liquor from the fishbowl that made you wish you’d laced your fingers in that moss-green hair and kissed him. 

Luckily for you, Usopp came running back into the galley which told you all that Luffy was right behind him. 

“Oh great you’re here. Maybe you can convince him to call it off.” 

Zoro had gone back to examining one of his swords and making sure it was ready for the morning. He looked so deep into the edge of the katana you wanted to ask him if it was like a magic mirror and what did he see? Did he see a victory inside that blade as he polished it? Or did he see something much darker? 

“I won’t do that.”

“Did you not see the size of that guy’s sword? He will slice you into sashimi.”

“What’s going on?”

“I have been trying to figure that out for the last thirty minutes,” you huffed. 

Your words only earned you an exasperated look from Nami. 

“You were there when it happened!” She shot back, her voice incredulous. 

“And I am still struggling to comprehend how we went from zero to a thousand in less than a minute.”

You hated this entire thing. The tension radiated like a volt of electricity between all of you. One minute, you felt fine, or as fine as you could be in this situation. The next, the anxiety from Usopp or Nami would set you off or you would completely close down like the indifference Zoro was currently showing all of you. 

“I’m even more lost now,” Luffy muttered.

“I’ll tell you what’s going on. Your big, bad Marine grandpa sent a warlord of the Sea to bring you in, and instead of getting the hell out of here when he had the chance, Zoro challenged him to a duel.” 

“Which he accepted.”

“Yeah, that pretty much sums it up,” Usopp muttered to Luffy. 

Usopp looked as nervous as you felt. Your body finally removed itself from the booth in the galley to stand beside him, linking yourselves arm and arm. 

While Nami spoke, Zoro sheathed his sword and placed it back on the island. His arms extended out as he leaned his hands against it, his eyes boring a hole into Nami as she spoke. 

“You are a fly to him. Something to be swatted and forgotten.”

“Not if I win.”

“You’re not going to.”

“You don’t know that.”

Your hand fell down to grab at Usopp’s and squeezed it lightly. Big brown eyes turned to look at you and, whatever he saw reflected in yours, was enough to make him squeeze yours back. 

You knew Nami was trying to make a point. This dude was dangerous. He was a pirate warlord, for Christ's sake, but the idea of Zoro no longer existed…

No. No. You wouldn’t think it. Couldn’t. 

“Guys, guys, maybe we need more drinks,” Usopp offered. 

A part of you wanted to laugh. You could feel it bubbling up inside your chest but the wildness of it let you know it would come out panicked; a sound that displayed the current breakdown of your soul. 

No one else seemed to appreciate his attempt at lightening the mood.

“Tell your first mate he’ll get himself killed.”

“Tell your navigator to butt out.”

For once, Luffy looked lost. A look of childish uncertainty replaced the care-free nature that lived inside him. You hated seeing him so unsure, but he was the captain. He was your captain and these situations called for him to make the best decision for his crew. 

“Maybe this isn’t such a great idea, Zoro.”

“When you met me tied up on that cross, what did I say?”

Oh, no. No. You knew where he was going with this. Luffy telling you the story in this very galley came flooding back in crystal clear clarity. 

“What makes you think I wanna play pirates with you?”

“No, the other thing.”

“I kill your kind for a living?”

“No!” Zoro almost shouted the word. “Come…” A groan of frustration left him as he finally looked away from Luffy. The desire to get Luffy to remember consuming him - to remember why he needed to do this. 

And like a switch being flicked, a quiet, “Oh,” sounded beside you, and you knew Luffy remembered. 

“That you made a promise to someone a long time ago to become the world’s greatest swordsman.”

“The only way to do that is to beat Mihawk in a duel and take his title. I intend to do just that.”

The words left him in a shout. All that determination rolled into a punch of syllables directed at Nami. At you. Anyone who tried to stand in the way of fulfilling that promise he’d made so long ago. 

“Can’t you just fight him without anyone dying?”

Your voice was sheepish, so small it barely carried over a whisper. Zoro wouldn’t look at you. You’d only earned a small flick of his attention before he replaced it back on the galley’s island. 

“To be the world’s greatest swordsman only one can live. There can’t be two-“

“Why not that just seems silly-“

“Because that is just how it is!” 

He’d dismissed you without a second thought. A teacher schooling an ignorant child who wasn’t privy to how the world works. You wanted to throttle him. 

“Even if you die in the process? Will you please do something?”

It hurt to see Nami so frantic. You were used to seeing her composed and smart. Maybe her anger when someone was doing something particularly idiotic. Never broken. Not like this. 

Luffy regarded Zoro one last time and when you saw the soft smile press a hard line into his lips, you knew any chance of getting him to change Zoro’s mind was gone. 

“It’s his dream, Nami. I can’t get in the way of somebody’s dream.” 

“What if I dreamed of being eaten by a sea beast what the-“

Usopp gently tugged on your conjoined hands to get your attention. His head shaking once to tell you now wasn’t the time to make jokes or be angry. Wasn’t it? 

“What’s it going to take, huh? You want me to say you’re the best? You’re the best. Okay? You’re the best I’ve ever seen, but you are not better than him. And if you fight him tomorrow, you’re going to lose.”

Every word she spoke threatened to make your knees collapse. You didn’t know anything about Dracule Mihawk, except his apparent love for overly large things. Big sword. Big hat. Big feather for said hat. There was no denying, however, the sheer power that radiated off him as he stood there unmoving while Zoro challenged him. The fact there hadn’t even been a glimmer of worry that shifted through his eyes told you plainly he was more powerful than you could imagine. 

And Zoro wanted to fight him. To the death. That manic laughter was beginning to bubble up again in your chest and you weren’t sure if you were going to be able to keep it quiet this time. 

Zoro finished sliding his last sword home inside his sash as he asked, “Why do you even give a shit?”

“Because you are my friend, you idiot.”

“You said it yourself. You don’t have any friends.”

If this was something Nami ever spoke of, it wasn’t something she’d shared with you. Maybe it had been true before you’d all met each other, but that wasn’t true now. In that moment, it didn’t matter if she remembered you were all there or not. His words hit a scab deep inside her and pulled and picked until he ripped it open. 

Fresh blood from an old wound. 

This time you weren’t worried about accidentally saying anything. Warm fuzzy feelings were thrown to the back of your mind as your own blood thundered for you to come forward and defend her. 

“And you are acting like a Grade A asshole.” 

You released Usopp’s hand to take a step forward. You had every intention of going to her and seeing if she would allow you to stand beside her. You never got the chance. Nami’s eyes looked at each and every one of you- her supposed crew mates - just before she turned on her heel and left the room. 

Once she disappeared from sight it left only the four of you inside the galley. Luffy looked as if he was trying to process just what took place and Usopp, well, he was Usopp. He looked about as lost as you were in the grand scheme of things. 

Your eyes flashed to Zoro and found him already looking at you. His wrists hung loosely over the hilt of the sword as he regarded you. He didn’t soften as your eyes met his but seemed to harden further. A silent challenge for you to try and say something that he would only dismiss. 

“What was that?”

“I told her the truth.” 

“No,” you snarled. “You told her whatever was most convenient for you and your feelings. You want to go get yourself killed, Zoro. Fine. But don’t stand there and act like everyone is supposed to be happy about it.” 

“No one told you that you had to be here or that you were even wanted here.”

“Guys-“ Usopp interjected. 

Neither of you were listening. You could feel your eyes narrow in on him. The pain that had moments ago made it impossible to breathe now hardened into stone.  

“You better hope Mihawk kills you, Zoro because if not I’ll make you wish he had.” 

A part of you meant what you said. Your anger was a living thing at how Zoro used his words as an extension of his swords. Your skin felt like brimstone with the current of fire underneath ready to burst free and set him on fire with how fucking angry you were at him. The way he spoke to Nami. To you. And yet, underneath all that building rage was a fear so palpable you could taste the cold sweat on your tongue. 

You didn’t want to hurt him. You didn’t wish him dead. You just wanted him to admit that his ghosts screaming for battle also scared him too. Instead, you were locked in a staring contest you knew you would lose. Zoro’s eyes hardened until he was a mask; unreadable and untouchable. While you knew at any minute your regret was moments away from making itself known. 

With one final look in his direction, you turned to storm after Nami. You needed to find her and make sure she was okay. She did have friends. She wasn’t alone like she apparently thought she was. 

You rounded the corner of the galley that led to Nami’s room. Usually, you would’ve knocked or done something to announce yourself. Naan raised you to be aware of everyone’s space and it was rude just to barge in but you weren’t thinking. You were brimming with too many emotions; too many thoughts that fought to be the clearest. So, when you barged into Nami’s room an apology was already forming on your lips. 

Until you saw her standing with a bag in hand. 

“Where are you going?”

The question hung between you like something fragile. Her own throat noticeably bobbed as she swallowed around something she was going to try and sell you. 

“I was just going out-“

“Don’t lie, Nami.” You moved the rest of the way inside her room and closed the door behind you. “No one carries around an entire suitcase just because.”

Her tongue rolled around the bottom of her lip before she turned away from you. You took note that she was still holding onto her suitcase. She wasn’t going to drop it, which meant however this went she planned on still leaving. 

You didn’t want another Zoro-style fight where insults were thrown to prove points or make someone hate you into letting them go. When she turned back to look at you, all the emotion was stripped from her and you prepared yourself for a fight. 

“Are you going to tell Luffy?”

A sigh pressed past your lips as you shrugged. 

“What am I going to tell him, Nami? You left because you got into an argument and someone said something you didn’t like?”

“Like I give a shit what Zoro or any of you think.”

“Is that why you’re worried I’m going to run and tell Luffy you’re leaving? Make it make sense.”

She turned on her heel and walked back over to a drawer she’d left slightly open. Her hand pushed it back hard before she turned back to face you. The hand that held her suitcase dropped unceremoniously on the floor. 

“I need to leave.”

“Why? Nami, If this is about what Zoro said you know it’s not true.”

“Who are you kidding, Doc? We never chose to be a crew. We were all thrust together by circumstances and just stayed together.”

“Usopp and I chose you guys.”

Hollow laughter escaped her like she couldn’t believe you’d claim this madhouse of a crew. Or maybe the joke was on you, and you just couldn’t see you were the butt of the joke. 

“You don’t get it-“

“Help me understand!”

“I had a job to do before I met Luffy. I completed it and I need to get back.”

“If that was true you would’ve left a long time ago.”

“Ugh, what is it with you? Why can’t you just accept that I’m leaving?”

“Because I don’t think you really want to go back,” you replied, cutting her off. 

The two of you stood there in a silent face-off. Deep down, you both knew that you were right. There were plenty of opportunities for her to leave and go back to whatever life she had waiting for her, but she’d stayed. Maybe it was because of convenience, at first, but somewhere along the line, it changed. 

Nami was happy being a straw hat. Whatever life she had previously was one she’d continue to run away from if she could, but something was calling her back. Whether it was family. Friends. Work. You would never know unless she told you. 

“What makes you so sure?”

“People who want to sneak away in the night don’t stay up showing a small town village girl maps they created in hopes of drawing a map of the world one day.” 

It was only a few nights ago when she had done it. You’d been unable to sleep. Your stomach was tossing like the waves outside the ship. You’d tried to make a tea to ease your stomach and it had failed miserably. Nami had found you curled up becoming one with the galley’s kitchen and gently peeled you from the table. In the very corner she stood in is where she’d sat with you under the light of a lamp and showed you every map she’d ever drawn.

“That’s just a dream, Doc.”

“It’s a good dream.”

She shook her head, her hand outstretched to take back the suitcase she'd discarded. 

“Dreams are just fairy tales for adults. It’s better if you get used to disappointment now than later.”

You wanted to reach out and grab her as she moved past you towards the door. You still had time to do it. To shake her - yell at her - that they didn’t hold the commodity on pain or a shitty life. Maybe you would never know what it was that Nami lost. She may never want to share with you that story of her life, and that was fine. You just wanted her to know she didn’t have to keep running. That you would help keep her dreams alive and safe as long as she wanted them. 

When you turned to follow her you found the door wide open and Nami gone. You could’ve chased after her, but it would only cause a scene. She’d made it clear she’d meant to run in secret - you finding out was an unexpected accident. A part of you wanted to tell Luffy so you could both go charging after her and make her come back, but Luffy would never make anyone do something they didn’t want to do. 

How could it be in less than a day everything had gone to shit? Zoro was so eager to die and Nami…Nami was just gone. With one last look around her room, you moved to sit in the chair she’d been in earlier. The sound of her laughing as you tried on clothes brought the ghost of a smile to your lips and you wondered if you’d ever get to hear it again. 

The Going Merry felt like a ghost ship. 

Somewhere in the bridge, you were aware Usopp had run to hide there as the after-hours of fun began to take its toll. Luffy disappeared outside the ship and you wondered if anyone had noticed yet that the ship was one straw hat less. 

You’d been sitting inside Nami’s room since she left, unable to leave just in case she’d changed her mind and came back. You wondered how long you could wait here before reality forced you to face it that the small family you’d chosen was falling apart. 

Not much longer if the rising hues of the sun’s blood-orange tint on the night sky had anything to say about it. 

With one last glance around the room, you headed back out onto the bridge. You didn’t know where to go. You didn’t feel like playing nursemaid, though you were sure Usopp would’ve appreciated the help, and you didn’t think you could keep quiet about a missing orange-haired girl if Luffy asked where she was. 

You were starting to feel your own hangover begin to creep in and one thing was for certain, you were going to need some coffee. 

Your footsteps sounded loud against the wood. The sound only reminds you of how empty the Merry had become. You pushed through the galley’s French doors and found yourself walking into a Zoro deep in meditation. It was something he usually did in the confines of his room sandwiched between his crates of rum and the small window that looked port side. You’d only ever seen him do it once on the stern of the ship in the early morning when no one was around. 

Not that you were staring or watching or anything.

All three of his swords were set on the hanging baby blue table in front of the window seat where he now sat. His bandana was secured to his head about as tightly as his arms were to his chest. His eyes were still closed and you thought, maybe you’d be lucky enough to turn around and run back to the bridge. You’d take your chances with Luffy. 

“If you’ve come to talk me out of the duel I’ll tell you right now. You’ll just be wasting your time.”

He growled out the words from somewhere deep in his chest. It croaked in places as if he’d been asleep and your presence had woken him. Zoro hadn’t opened his eyes yet, but he didn’t need to see to know you were there. 

You’d come stomping in like a person ready to perform a verbal battle when all you wanted was some coffee and a little bit of calm before…

“I came for coffee not to tell you how much of an inconsiderate asshole you’re being.” 

That got his eyes to open and focus on you. You only spared him a moment before you made your way to the cupboards. You were just going to focus on getting a cup and what you needed to make your coffee. You weren’t going to acknowledge him.

Even as you reached the cabinets and started searching for the kettle, you could feel his eyes boring between your shoulders. It forced an irritation to set fire in your chest and that only seemed to grow worse until your hands were squeezing the iron of the handles. At any moment, you expected to see blood dripping from your palms. 

You let out a deep breath and tried to push away all the things you wanted to say. To scream at him. You found the kettle and focused on filling it up and turning on the stove because if you didn’t you would start yelling at him about how maddening he was. It was a good thing you had to look for the coffee grounds to steep them or else you would’ve burst with how petty he was; the bitchest man alive. 

If it wasn’t for making your damn coffee you would’ve crumbled into a sobbing mess as you struggled to find the words to make him stay. You were doing a pretty good job at ignoring him, but of course, Zoro could never just leave it alone. He always had to poke and prod and- 

“You seem to be struggling with that coffee.”

“And why does it matter to you? Are you suddenly in the mood to be caffeinated?”

“Just wondering how long it’s going to take for you to finish and get the hell out of the galley.” 

“Okay, that’s enough! Enough, Zoro!”

You hated how your voice betrayed you. The way it broke as his name left your lips. What you hated more was how he responded to the exact sound as it touched his ears. His body language was still rigid but he sat up straighter. His arms dropped down from his body to sit in his lap. 

“I get that this means something important to you. It’s a lifelong goal and you want to accomplish it, but how can you expect to accomplish anything when you push people away.” 

“I’ve accomplished plenty on my own before I ever meet any of you.”

“That’s fantastic. Great for you,” you shot back, your voice dripping with sarcasm. “What I’m saying is, you don’t have to do everything alone anymore. We are all here for you-“

“Why do you even care? What was it you said, that I better hope Mihawk kills me or I’m going to wish he had.”

You knew saying that would come back to haunt you. How many times had Naan told you speaking out of anger never made a situation better? Zoro thought you’d said it because you hated him to the point you hoped he’d lose. 

“I only said that because you are being an ass.”

“I didn’t know you hated me enough to hope I died.”

“I don’t hate you, Zoro! And the last thing I want is to see you get hurt or worse fucking die. Why can’t you see what it would do to the people who care about you? Why can’t you see that I like you, you idiot!”

The words stumbled out before you could catch them. Your chest felt like it was on the verge of collapsing while your lungs refused to release the breath it held captive. It felt like a lifetime passed between the two of you, and yet you knew it was only seconds. It was long enough for the sting of tears to crown your eyes as you waited for Zoro to do something. Anything. 

What made it worse was how unmoved he appeared by your confession. Your words didn’t seem to cause any reaction from him other than his usual empty stare. The cool look of emotionless stone replaced the teasing sparks of mischief that gleamed in his eyes or the smiles that warmed his face when he was surrounded by his crew. 

You would’ve given anything for any emotion besides the empty reply you received.

“You don’t even know me.” 

“I want to know you, really know you, but first, I need the chance to do that. I can’t do that if you’re dead.”

“I’m not going to lose.”

“You don’t know that!”

“It’s obvious that you don’t believe in me. Like Nami. You both think I can’t do it.”

“Oh my god, Zoro - enough! We are just worried for you. We give a shit about you still being alive. I want to be able to wake up and hear your grumpy ass voice or find you drinking on the stern. I want to be able to have conversations with you while you begrudgingly go with me to forge ingredients and put flowers in my hair. I want to see you look at me the way you did standing alone on the Merry like you did tonight.” You took in a shaky breath as you took a cautious step toward his seated position. “You have infuriatingly crawled your way inside my bones, Roronoa Zoro, and have taken hold. I don’t want to know what life is like without you.”

Your breathing was fast and shaky as if you'd been running. It didn’t matter that the tears you’d struggled to contain fell freely down your cheeks or that your chest heaved, ready to cave in at any moment. 

You were vaguely aware of the Sun beginning to peak its way inside the windows. The timer on what could possibly be the last time you were with Zoro coming to an end. Maybe that was why when he moved to stand you allowed yourself to hope. You let yourself believe maybe your admission meant enough to make him stay, but you watched as he silently slid each katana into their holsters on his sash and it felt like the ground opened up and swallowed you whole. 

“Why can’t you just admit you have feelings for me?”

It was true that you didn’t know much about the world or how it works. You’d never been out of the village. Never had many friends outside of Usopp. The boys in the village are always ridiculous or sometimes cruel or just too stupid to look at. You imagined you had to be broken since all you’d cared about was becoming the greatest doctor you could be. So, maybe you’d read into the small glances too much or the way when you almost fell and he’d secured you close to him with his chin dipping into your neck. It was subtle but you felt it. 

People didn’t just do that when they didn’t like someone, did they?

Once he’d made sure everything was secured inside his sash, Zoro came around the table and walked until he stood beside you. He wouldn’t look at you and just kept looking at the battle ahead because now the sun had risen and he had a promise to fulfill. 

“I don’t give a shit about you.” His words stabbed into your chest and twisted. It felt worse than anything you’d ever felt; a storm cloud of emotions that darkened your mind. But underneath that, you could hear the tremor in his own voice as he forced himself to tell you. “You’re just another one of Luffy’s little add-ons to an already big enough freak show of a crew.”

“Why are you so scared to give a shit?”

“Scared of what?” This time when he snapped it whipped his head to look at you. The soft touch of his eyes hardened into something wild and desperate. “Of you?”

“Either you’re scared or you are a coward. Only someone who’s a coward can’t admit to the truth.”

“Or maybe you’re just delusional.”

Maybe you were. You didn’t know how the world worked. How people worked. You’d traveled into uncharted territory when Zoro began to worm his way inside your brain and hold your heart hostage. It was possible you’d only seen what you’d hoped to see. 

His jaw ticked to whatever irritated thought he had while he looked at you. You expected him to say something else. To finally tear you completely down until there was nothing left. Instead, he turned away from you and started towards the galley’s French doors dismissing you completely. 

You listened as he pushed through with the soft sound of the doors swinging on their hinges filling the space. You weren’t going to follow. You couldn’t watch him walk out knowing he may never come back. 

It felt like an eternity passed before you heard the first clash of blades outside the Merry. You were still standing where Zoro had left you. Unable to move, at first, in case you take that move forward and restart time. As if you had the ability to keep it suspended and him safe. 

It wasn’t until that ringing of metal scraping against metal resonated inside the wood of the Merry that your body jerked back into the present. You already knew Luffy would be there with Zoro; believing in him and cheering him on. Usopp too simply because he knew the power of what support could do for someone. 

And Nami…

Nami had to be long gone by now and you? You were here cowering inside the safety of a vessel so you didn’t have to see. The sound of a body colliding into the dock gave yours a jolt. 

Sure, Zoro had ripped out your heart after you’d admitted what you hadn’t been able to admit to yourself. You’d done it, selfishly, in hopes that it would keep him in the confines of the safety of the ship, but that wasn’t Zoro. 

He wasn’t about safety and backing down from anything. From the moment you’d met him, you’d seen the dedication he held when it came to his ability to fight. The fire drove him to consume and lay waste to those who stood in his way, but underneath the harshness of the fire laid something soft. He’d defended that little girl in the bar. He stood up for those who preyed on villages and mercilessly attacked women and children.

For all the drinking and hard-headed idiotic things Zoro could do he was one of the best men you’d ever meet. There wasn’t anything that Zoro hadn’t proved he could do. So, why couldn’t it be possible for him to beat Mihawk? 

With your mind decided, you pushed your back off the island counter and took off running at full speed. You would support him no matter what was shared between you. Zoro deserved it: he deserved to be believed in. 

You were going up and over the stairs to take the ramp down to the dock when you saw Mihawk stab something small into his chest. You could feel your knees buckle. The way your body went limp and forced your legs to collapse in on themselves as they smashed into the wood of the ramp. 

Zoro’s arms were spread out in Y shape. The edges of his swords barely missed the arm’s of Mihawk, the handles of his swords touching the design on his trench. He was close, but not close enough to do any damage and not far enough away from the small blade that Mihawk embedded deep in his chest. 

“No.”

Your denial came out in a hush and was carried away by the wind. 

Mihawk told him something. Maybe about retreating and forfeiting the match to save his life. It was enough to radiate rage through Zoro’s body and hardened his eyes with determination. 

Zoro would never run. It wasn’t in his character. 

Out of the corner of your eye, you watched Nami approach the dock. She came to stand between Luffy and Usopp and for a split moment, everything felt like it was going to be okay. Nami was back. The universe was working on fixing all the wrongs that happened in the last few hours.

Mihawk pulled the small blade from out of his chest and you watched as Zoro stumbled back. His swords helped him to stand back up on his feet to face him. 

“I’ll do you the honor of killing you with Yoru.”

No. No. 

The word almost clawed its way out of your throat. A possession so deep to halt time ached through your veins until you thought it was almost possible to do it. As if the very fabric of the air would rip open at any minute just to save him. 

You couldn’t miss the satisfied smirk that curled Zoro’s lips. 

“Now that’s more like it.” 

You watched as he unsheathed the Wado Ichimonji and brought it up to his mouth. His body stood straighter as he connected the two swords as one and began to spin them. You’d seen him fight plenty of times with just the two swords. The sheer strength he had just using them didn’t seem to compare to anyone else. You’d seen him use his three-sword style only once before and nothing compared to the sheer strength and speed that came from him placing that blade between his teeth. 

Hope blossomed in your chest as you watched him spin the swords. His body took off moments later as Mihawk moved to rush forward, meeting him in a clash that rattled like thunder from the impact. Zoro came to a sliding stop just feet in front of you. His swords still lifted up to deflect the blow from Mihawk’s blade before they crumbled to pieces in front of him.

Zoro locked eyes with you, your body mimicking his, as he removed the Wado Ichimonji from between his teeth. You could feel fresh tears streaming down your cheeks turning your vision blurry. With his eyes locked on you, he used it to help him get to his feet. 

If your voice would’ve worked you would’ve told him to stop. That he didn’t need to turn around but you knew he would. This was Zoro. The most infuriating man on the planet and honored bound to his beliefs. You clamored to get to your feet. To run to him to try and keep him from turning to face Mihawk. 

He must have seen it on your face. You were probably doing a terrible job of keeping your thoughts off your face. All the panic. 

A soft smile slid across his lips. It wasn’t big enough to crack his lips or show teeth. It never reached his eyes, but it didn’t have to. It was a smile just meant for you. His way of telling you it was alright; to soothe you before the final blow came.  

For one last fleeting moment, you looked at one another and you imagined yourselves back inside the ship. Zoro sitting in his hammock being his usual broody self while you clean up the wound on his chest. You could practically hear him mumbling some shit about you not being gentle against the lip of a newly opened bottle of rum. 

It felt so real that, for a split second, you thought it was. You’d been so caught up in your own daydream that you hadn’t realized he’d turned his back on you. Now he was facing Mihawk his arms spread open wide giving him a perfect kill shot of his chest. 

“Wounds on the back are a swordsman's greatest shame.”

“Magnificent.”

In one swift motion, you watched as Mihawk sliced through the air with his blade cutting perfectly through Zoro’s chest. 

“NO!”

This time you did find your voice and it was unhinged. All that panic you pushed to the side and all that hope you’d allowed yourself to blindly follow came crashing down like a wave. It strangled every last bit of feeling until all that was left was the crushing weight of despair. You were aware that Luffy was there at his side. You could hear him calling out to Zoro with his hands pressed at his body. 

You were sprinting down the last of the ramp and onto the dock. You couldn’t remember bending down to be at his side but your eyes could see him. It was Zoro but not the Zoro you were used to. 

Already he was turning ghostly pale as the wound continued to bleed. We have to stop the bleeding. There was so much blood and he was in so much pain. The wound Mihawk created went from the left shoulder down to the beginning of his sash. It was massive. Zoro’s breathing was shaky and would quiet down until you weren’t even sure if he was even taking in a full breath. 

You reached over to feel his pulse. It weakly flutters against your ring and middle finger as you press down. When you pulled away you noticed your forearm streaked with blood. 

“Monkey D. Luffy - what is your goal?”

“I’m going to become King of the Pirates.”

“King of the Pirates, eh? That’s a much more treacherous path than even defeating me.”

“I don’t care.” Luffy looked back at Mihawk. His usual determination in his voice, but it missed the warmth and it trembled with each word. Whether it was from anger or sadness you would never know. “It’s what I am going to do.”

“Hmm. Maybe you will at that. This world could use a few more wild cards. Roronoa Zoro, It’s too soon for you to die. Grow strong and come find me. I’ll be waiting.” 

You wanted to scream at him to go to hell. You wished you could send him there yourself, but Zoro was still alert. He was fighting and that meant maybe it was his fate to be the one to send the big feathered asshole there himself. 

You wanted to tell him that. To make a joke. You owed him the one about the Marine and the Pirate walking into a bar. You just couldn’t bring yourself to speak. Your hands were trembling violently every time you moved them to try and touch him. So, you clenched them down and kept them pressed into your thighs. 

Usopp came to kneel beside Luffy and Nami slowly made her way to stand next to you. 

“He’s losing so much blood. Doc, what should we do?”

What should we do? 

What were you supposed to tell them? You were the doctor. Their doctor. It’s why Luffy had asked you to join. It was your job to heal them and keep them well. 

Doc, what should we do? 

You should know the answer. You should be the one ordering them around and telling them what to bring you to start staunching the wound. 

“He’s gonna be okay. Hey Zoro, can you hear me? He said it was too soon for you to die.”

“Luffy-“

Fuck. Zoro sounded so weak. All the broody, snarky asshole comments that he’d made were full of life. Each word was rich with the baritone of his voice that dripped down your skin like honey. That same voice now barely rose above a whisper.  

“If I fail to become the world’s greatest swordsman…you’ll be disappointed. Right?”

Each word came out strained. With each breath, he fought to take through the gash in his chest. 

“You could never fail me.”

Zoro opened his eyes and looked over at his Captain. The pain began to make tears spring into his eyes and run down the corners. 

“Never. Again. From now until I beat him.” A grunt of pain burst from his mouth as he grabbed his body to the hilt of the Wado Ichimonji and lifted it up to the sky. His free hand covered his face as if he was ashamed. “To become the world's greatest swordsman I will never lose again!”

Zoro swore it with such conviction you expected him to stand up at any moment and walk himself back to the Merry. Your assessment was wrong, however, when he suddenly went limp with the sword and his arm crashing down against the dock. 

“Zoro?”

This time he was unresponsive. The blood pooling around his middle and seeping into the front of his gi blossomed into a flower that grew ever brighter with each passing second. 

“Doc!” Usopp shouted. It was enough to finally tear your eyes away from Zoro and focus on something else. “What do we do? You’re the doctor here.”

“Right.” The word came out in a huff through your nose. 

Your eyes scanned the scene that was laid out in front of you. It was time to be scientific about this. To focus on what was fixable in front of you and to put whatever feelings you had to the side. 

Why did that feel easier said than done?

They were still waiting for you to direct them. Six pairs of eyes equally as lost as you waiting for direction on how to save their crew mate -  their friend - in front of them. Your tongue lashed out to nervously wet your bottom lip as you scrambled to your feet. 

“We - we need to move him back to the ship. We have to stop the bleeding.”

“Okay, right good call, Doc,” Luffy offered as you all scrambled to grab a limb. 

“Just make sure that when we lift him we do it carefully-“

Luffy and Usopp didn’t wait for you and Nami to grab a hold of either leg. They just lifted and his legs flopped against the deck. 

“Jesus, she said to do it together and carefully!” Nami snapped. 

“I’m sorry I’m just nervous.”

Usopp was obviously as panicked as you. 

“It’s alright, let's just grab him and get him back to the Merry.” 

The four of you grabbed a hold of Zoro and this time smoothly picked him up. Luffy and Usopp carried his upper body and thank god he did. You weren’t expecting him to feel like you were trying to carry a sea cow. Scratch that. It felt like you were trying to carry a sea beast. 

The first steps you took were good, but by the time you started making it up the ramp back into the Merry, you were all struggling not to drop your end. 

“Easy! Easy! Jesus, be careful!”

Nami instructed the boys - mostly Usopp - as they took the last step down onto the bridge. 

“Guys. I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to hold my end,” Usopp grunted. 

“We are almost there, Usopp. Just hold on.” 

“I’m trying but this guy is really heavy.”

To prove his point, Usopp started shuffling backward quicker than you expected. He shoved his shoulder into the double doors of the galley forcing you all to catch up with him. The movement causes you and Nami to bump into one another as you each hold on to one of his legs. 

“Easy. Don’t drop him!”

“I didn’t. He’s just heavy. I mean, he’s got a really big head. It’s, like, freakishly big.”

“Now is not the time, Usopp,” you grunted as you all moved to set him down on the island. 

“What does that have to do with anything?” 

The question came from Nami as she made her way around the galley’s kitchen. She was searching through cupboards at a furious rate and you didn’t have to ask what it was she was searching for. She’d heard you loud and clear about needing to stop the bleeding. You had some clean linens that were stashed inside your room. You should’ve gone for them, but suddenly, seeing Zoro lifeless on the island of the galley…you couldn’t recall any of your training. 

“Zoro? Hey, can you hear me?”

Luffy’s soft question was drowned out by Usopp asking where the first aid kit was. 

“Why would we need a first aid kit when we have a doctor?” Nami shot back. 

“That’s right. Doc, what are we doing?”

They were looking to you to direct them. You are the doctor. This was your time to shine to be able to prove that you were worth the space Luffy had offered you. So, why couldn’t you move? Your brain was moving at a thousand miles a minute and yet every time it landed on free space it came up empty. If it wasn’t empty, it was screaming that Zoro was dying and you weren’t going to be able to save him. 

Nami returned to the head of Zoro and was holding it in place. You weren’t sure why. The wound was on his chest. Usopp was now thrashing around the room looking for rags. 

“Doc!” 

This time Nami smacked your arm to get your attention. Your feet moved of their own accord to the edge of the island as you reached out and started peeling back the soaked fabric of his shirt. 

There have been times when you were daydreaming in the privacy of your room that you imagined peeling back Zoro’s shirt just like this. To expose the taut muscles underneath. In all of your daydreams, it was never like this. Not like this. 

A sharp hiss of air cut through your teeth as you exposed the large gash to the room. It was approximately two - almost three inches in width. The first and second layer of skin was severed leaving the third exposed and dangerously close to opening it to severe infection. 

“These towels are all I could find. Where’s he bleeding from?”

“Everywhere.”

“Nami, I need you to add pressure with the towels. I have to run to my room and get some supplies.” 

“Ok, but Doc hurry.” 

Asking for speed felt like an understatement. There wasn’t a soul alive inside that ship who didn’t realize that Zoro was beginning to show fewer and fewer signs of breathing. His skin was taking on a grayish tone like a corpse making his green hair look sickly against the grotesque hue. 

You didn’t bother telling her you knew he was dying. You just needed out of that room. 

Your feet carried you out of memory to your room which sat directly across the hall from Zoro. How many times had you gone to go inside your own room and paused, considering knocking on his just to see him leaning against his open door? The thought of never having the chance to make it a reality spurred you inside your room. 

You knew you were going to need thread and a good stitching needle to close the wound. What you really needed was something to fight infection both outwardly and inward. The tonic would have to wait. Without further thought, your hands started going through every jar that held a gathered plant and salves you’d previously made. What you needed was the same Chiterra you’d used on Zeff mere hours ago. It’d been left inside your satchel. 

You ran to its place sat on your bed and upended the bag onto the mattress. Your hands flung everything off until you came to the jade-green bottle and held it up to the light. You didn’t need the sunlight to tell you there wasn’t enough in the bottle. You’d applied most of it on Zeff. 

With a scream, you hurled the bottle against the wall. All that panic was turning to rage and you couldn’t keep it bottled in. You went to grab the things you did have and noticed on the small desk in the corner the snowdrop Zoro had placed behind your ear. 

Suddenly, you were standing back inside that forest. The feeling of his fingertips gliding over your ear as he deposited the flower, hand lingering longer than it should’ve. There was no mistaking the way he looked at you then was the same way he’d looked at you on the deck. The same way he’d looked at you seconds before Mihawk and tried to slice him in half. 

No. Zoro wasn’t going to die today. 

Grabbing what you had, you rushed back out of your room and to the galley. 

“We need to go to the Baratie and ask if they have any supplies.”

“What are you talking about?” Nami asked, flabbergasted. “How do you not have the supplies?”

“I used most of it last night, mending Zeff.” 

“Why the hell were you doing that?!”

“It was to help, Luffy-“You took a deep breath and pressed your hands out, as if it was going to push all the panic you’d pressed down from climbing back up again. “It doesn’t matter now. Luffy, can you go to Baratie?”

“I’m not really hungry right now, Doc.”

“Luffy, no-“ deep breath. Breathe. “I need something that is able to fight an infection. Something we can put on the skin.”

“Right! Right, I can do that!”

Luffy looked over Zoro’s body one last time before he sprinted out of the kitchen. It left the three of you waiting there until he returned but you were done with waiting. You were a doctor and it was about damn time you acted like one. 

If only you could get your hands to stop shaking. 

“Usopp, I need you to take this needle over to the stove and sterilize it for me, please.” 

“I’m on it, Doc.”

“What do you need me to do?”

Nami patiently waited to take whatever direction you would give her. You were sure if you told her to bring you fifty buckets of seawater she would do it without question. 

“Just go back up towards his head and talk to him. I’m going to sew up the wound and, well, it’s not going to feel too great.”

“Okay. I can do that.”

You both went to move around the other to get into position when you lightly grabbed her arm in passing. She turned to you with eyes too wide to be anything else but shocked and you wondered if you mirrored her expression. 

“Thank you for coming back.” 

You weren’t sure why you needed to tell her that, especially at a time like this, but you meant it. No matter what was happening right now, Nami had proven to be the sister you’d never had. Without her here now you might have been lost. 

You let your hand fall away as you came to the side of Zoro and began to unravel the thread. You had most of it unraveled when Usopp showed up beside you and handed over a very sterile needle. You threaded the black thread through the stitching needle and decided to start working on the smallest area. 

Maybe by the time you finished with it the tremors in your hands might have disappeared. 

Luffy arrived back from Baratie with Zeff and Sanji in tow. All three of them walked in just as you finished the last crisscross of stitching on Zoro’s chest. 

“Oy, I was wondering why he was asking for me,” Zeff huffed as he came around the opposite side of the island. “I could’ve sworn you said you were a doctor.”

“I am. I just don’t have anything to put over the wounds to support healing or to keep them from getting infected. I asked Luffy to go in case you did.” 

Sanji set down a basket on the island and you couldn’t keep your brow from quirking up in question. 

“Are we having a picnic?”

“Very cute, smart ass,” Zeff shot back. “Yellowtail skin is known to have enzymes in the skin that staunch the wounds and speed up the healing process.” 

As he explained it all to you, Sanji unrolled a set of very sharp-looking knives and handed the second largest to Zeff. Right after he unrolled the yellowtail from its wrapping and held it out for the older man to take. 

Zeff stroked the fish in appreciation before he began to cut it. Once the head was removed and he sliced it in half, you all watched as he carefully thinly sliced the yellowtail’s skin in sections. Each section of the fish was cut and placed on a plate until the entire fish was flayed. When he finished with the last slice, Zeff motioned for someone to grab the plate as he made his way around to join you on your side of the island.

“It’s my turn to teach you a little something, girl.” 

You wouldn’t deny that you didn’t know about yellowtail skin being able to do any of this. As you watched Zeff carefully layer it over your stitch work, you wondered if Naan was even aware of it. 

“Is he going to be okay?”

Usopp’s question was so soft you wondered if he’d even spoken. His eyes, like the rest of you, all focused on the motionless body of your crew mate. 

“I’m not going to lie to you. He’s lost a lot of blood. I’m sure your doctor can even tell you that. It might be too late for him.”

“But it might not be.” 

Luffy wasn’t going to give up on Zoro. He refused to think of any possibilities where Zoro didn’t wake up. You wish you shared the same belief as him. That Zeff’s words didn’t sit heavily in your thoughts because it was the same one you had.

“He’s got one foot in each world right now, caught between life and death. You have to find a way to keep him tethered to our world. Talk to him. Tell him stories. Sing him sea shanties for all I care. He may not reply, but at least he’ll know his crew is still with him.” 

“That’s ridiculous,” you scoffed. “Singing lovely little tunes isn’t going to save anybody.” 

“It’s not about science or what’s up here,” Zeff replied, a thick finger poking you dead between the eyes. “Sometimes it’s the heart of the matter that saves people.” 

Naan would’ve hollered about Zeff being the biggest idiot she’d ever met if she’d heard one word of that. A part of you wanted to ask if he could tell by the look he gave you. 

“We need to wrap him.”

“God, does that mean we gotta hold him up again?” Usopp whined. 

“Yes,” you shot back. “Usopp it does mean I need you guys to help hold him up.”

“I can help you. If you like.”

Sanji stepped around Zeff to come to your side. All his earlier flirting was replaced by the genuine desire to help. You were sure if Zoro knew Sanji had helped him in any way he would implode, but beggars couldn’t be choosers. 

“Sure. I would appreciate it. Thank you, Sanji.” 

You waited on bated breath to hear a cheesy pick-up line and found yourself coming up empty. You got your wraps ready as you motioned for Sanji to lift him and when you finished, Nami offered to let Zoro stay in her room. You didn’t help carry him inside and figured it was only a few short feet from the galley to her room. 

You needed air. You needed rum. You still needed to go fix up your room. 

The only thing you did was the first on that list. 

You’d found yourself standing on the stern of the ship. Your arms hung over the railing as you took in the endless blue that surrounded you and the last few stragglers of ships remaining from the night before. You tried to let your mind relax by wondering who was on those ships; the stories Usopp could create would either leave you in wonder or hysterics. 

That was what you really wanted. Your best friend to tell you a story as far-fetched as the one you’d all been a part of in less than twenty-four hours. You went to remove yourself from the rail when Luffy appeared beside you. His eyes scanned out over everything before him before he turned to smile at you. 

“Hey, Doc.”

“Hey Luffy. Everything alright?”

He still looked shaken by everything that had happened. The smile he’d tried to plaster on his face while Zoro was still conscious on the dock was replaced now with something you never thought you’d see: fear. 

Monkey D. Luffy was afraid. You wanted to reach out and hug him. To remind him that life came with no playbook and you were all just fumbling around trying to make the best decisions without ever knowing the outcomes. 

“Yeah. No. Maybe Nami was right and I should’ve tried harder to stop Zoro.”

“Luffy, Zoro was always going to do what he wanted. I don’t think you telling him not to do it would’ve mattered. What he wanted to know was that you were in his corner believing he could do it. You did the right thing as a Captain. As a friend.”

As the words left you, you knew every single one of them was true. The stubborn idiot was going to go out and do this duel no matter what. It’s what he’d trained himself to do and why he continued to train. Who were any of you to tell him all of that was for nothing? 

While Luffy listened and filtered your words through his head, you could see the small worry lines that had creased his forehead begin to ease. The darkness behind his eyes lightened just enough that you could feel his sunshine beginning to peek through the storm. 

“I’m always going to be in every one of your corners because you guys are in mine.” 

You tried to give him a weak smile. Something that could equal the one he’d given you. You could feel it falling flat and decided it was safer to look back over the side of the Merry or at your hands. 

It was a mistake. How you’d missed the blood - Zoro’s blood - that had caked on your fingers and between them was beyond you. Instantly, you felt like you needed to bathe. To scrub your skin raw before it leaves a deeper imprint like an unwanted tattoo. 

Luffy must have noticed your panic because he moved closer to you, shoulder to shoulder, and gently reached out to stop you from scratching through your skin. 

“Why are you out here, Doc?”

His question was light. Soft. A whisper that forced you to hang your head before a flood of emotion threatened to burst from the dam in your chest. 

“I should’ve believed in him more, like you do. I should’ve shown him or had more faith in who he is.”

“The Demon Pirate Hunter?”

That did make a snort of a laugh leave you as you looked up at Luffy. 

“Your first mate.”

You were surprised when Luffy suddenly wrapped a long arm around you and pulled you into a tight hug. You thought you were going to have to tap out and tell him it was too much. Damn, could he give a good hug. But you didn’t. You wrapped an arm around his waist and allowed yourself to be consumed for just a little while by sunshine. 

“You did an amazing job today, Doc.” 

You pressed a scoff into his chest before you pushed away and secured yourself back over the railing. 

“That’s really sweet Luffy, but no I didn't. I was sloppy. Unprepared. My response time was shit.” Your delay in helping Zoro could be what cost him his life. You didn’t want to say it out loud. The guilt - shame - of that hard fact sat like stones in your gut. “If Naan were here she’d have my ass.”

“But you saved him.”

Luffy looked so confused and you weren’t sure you wanted to explain it to him. He believed in you more than you believe in yourself. 

“No. All I did was make him comfortable if he died.” 

It felt like you were speaking through molasses. The idea of him dying filled your body with such raw grief it threatened to topple you over. 

“That’s not true.”

It was true, and Naan would’ve used this moment as another one of her hard lessons. One just to prove why getting attached to others was never good for a healer. Everything she’d ever taught you had gone right out the window as you watched Zoro fall. All the training and knowledge wasted as you acted like a lovesick girl and not the one who maybe could’ve saved him if she hadn’t been so lost in her head. 

No. You weren’t who Luffy thought you were or who you’d even thought you were. You should’ve stocked up on ingredients more. Noted all the tools you were missing and got them instead of worrying about a world full of promise and adventure. 

“I’m going to go wash up, Luffy. I’ll see you in a bit.”

“Make sure you stop in to see Zoro, Doc. I know he’d like to hear from you.” 

You didn’t know what to say. Would he want to see someone who selfishly tried to keep him from being who he was? You could still hear the last conversation playing in your head. The way his voice cracked just enough to notice. 

“I’ll be sure to do that.”

You didn’t mean it. You weren’t sure if you could face him but another part of you wondered if the last memory you wanted to carry of him was him lying bleeding on Baratie’s dock. 

The bath had been scolding hot and your skin was still slightly red from how furiously you’d scrubbed it. You’d had no intention of going in to see Zoro. 

Not yet. 

But as you left your room you heard Nami’s voice raise and you bolted toward the sound. What if something was happening to Zoro? Instead of the possibility of you going into doctor mode, you noticed it was yelling of a different kind.

“And I would like it if Zoro wasn’t dying in my bed!”

No! Not dying…

You came shooting around the corner and into the room. Your eyes take in a small-looking Luffy as Nami stands on the opposite side of where Zoro lies. Her eyes were piercing and sharp and full of anger directed solely at your captain. 

“I can’t get in the way of someone’s dream, Nami.”

“What’s going on here?”

Nami’s gaze moved over to you and it made you want to stop in your tracks. It felt like she was almost blaming you for the dying friend in her bed. 

“Nothing. I was just leaving.”

“Again?” 

The word came out before you could stop it. The irritation sparked from her in waves. You hadn’t meant to say it but you were too emotionally exhausted to care. 

“Again?” Luffy asked, visibly lost. 

“It's nothing,” Nami quickly dismissed your words as she set down the book she’d been reading. “Just a slip of the tongue. Right, Doc?”

She wasn’t giving you time to answer her because she wasn’t trying to have more conversation. Not with you and definitely not with Luffy. Somehow, you’d both ended up in the shit yard. 

You turned to watch her retreat and didn’t take one step forward until you were sure she was gone. You reached out to Luffy and touched his arm briefly before you dropped it back down to your side. 

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I just-“ 

He was back to looking lost. His eyes searched for answers ingrained in the wood of the ship and coming up short. He looked up at Zoro still lying motionless in bed and turned in your direction. 

“I’m going to get the Wado Itchy Monkey ready for him when he wakes up.” 

“Itchy monkey?”

“His sword.”

Now this was the Luffy you knew. It wasn’t as cheerful as it should’ve been but you would take this smile over the wounded look any day. 

“Oh, right. The Itchy Monkey.”

You hoped somehow Zoro could hear this and was screaming. 

“Do you want to come with me? I think Sanji is also with Usopp in the galley cooking something. If you want to eat.”

“Maybe later. I need to do an assessment first.”

“Oh, yeah. Let us know how it goes.”

“You got it, Captain.” 

“Why do you call me that?”

“Call you what? 

“Captain. No one else does.”

His question took you back. Was there something else he wanted to be referred to instead of Captain? He’d seemed to make it pretty clear his dream wasn’t just finding the One Piece, but having a crew all his own. 

“Uhm, because you’re my Captain and that is false. Usopp does say it…sometimes. In between calling himself Captain Usopp.” 

You waited to see that infamous smile brighten his face. The one that reminded you of the good that was housed inside him and the painful realization he was still so young. What you got instead was a softer smile, one that still reached his eyes but spoke plainly of gratitude. 

“Make sure that when you’re done you get something to eat. That’s an order.” 

You offered up a mock salute as you replied, “Aye, Captain.” 

It felt ridiculous. It felt silly but it also felt good. Like you weren’t standing in a room where Zoro was slipping in and out of death. Silly like sitting back in a restaurant. All five of you enjoying a meal filled with laughter and teasing conversation. 

With a heavy sigh, you turned to face the unconscious man before you. He looked incredibly peaceful and if you didn’t know any better you would’ve believed he was just sleeping. But his breathing was still too shallow and there wasn’t any eye movement indicative of dreaming or thought. 

He looked like a shell of the man you’d fallen in love with. The color hadn’t returned to his skin and there was a noticeable sheen of sweat to his forehead and upper lip. Gently, you pressed the back of your hand to his forehead and felt the warmth to his skin. 

You figured there would be a fever, but not so soon. You weren’t sure if it was a good or bad sign but you wouldn’t dwell on it. A fever meant he needed medicine, which was your specialty. You set to work pulling what you needed out of your satchel and began to make something to help reduce the fever and hopefully help whatever infection was in his blood. 

After you steeped all the ingredients through the strainer you walked over to Zoro and gently lifted up his head. You had some trouble wiggling the nose of the bottle between his lips when you remembered you still had to contend with his teeth.

“A pain in the ass even while dying,” you groaned.

You placed his head back down against the pillow and quickly ran through your options. You tried to prop him up as much as you could before you placed your hand on his chin and applied a small amount of pressure until you felt his jaw begin to open. Finally, you were able to deposit some of the medicine between his lips. Your hands gently coax his throat to swallow by running your fingers against the skin. 

Once it was done you placed the jar behind you on Nami’s dresser and went to get a cool washcloth. You weren’t sure if you were going to stay until you started wiping the sweat from his brow. 

You found yourself sitting in the chair Nami no doubt abandoned and the book she’d been reading to him. The tale of Noland. The liar. A man who claimed to have seen something and there was never any proof. 

Liar. That’s what stuck out to you the most. 

You’d been staring at the cloth in your hands, fingers picking at the fraying pieces unable to look at him. Not until now. 

You weren’t sure why you felt so unsure of whether you should be there. If you should bother staying. The last time you’d spoken he’d made it clear what he thought of you and yet…

Reaching out you took hold of his hand for the first time. It felt wrong doing it like this but what were the chances of you being able to do it again? Your thumb moved slowly over his knuckles as if trying to outline each one perfectly to memory. 

“How are you supposed to train me to kick your ass if you don’t wake up?”

Zoro didn’t show any signs of stirring at your words. You expected him to turn his head at any minute. His eyes flew open in horror at the idea of you ever kicking his ass. You could practically hear all the remarks he’d make. 

“The day you ever kicked my ass is the day hell freezes over.”

“It’ll take a miracle for you to even get close.”

But they were the only ones that you heard in your head. Figments of previous conversations warped to fit the crazy narrative that he would be able to answer you back. 

“You know, if Naan could’ve seen how I acted today she would’ve killed me.”

An empty laugh left you as you looked up at his face. There wasn’t the usual dart of a raised brow in teasing. No hard stare that made you feel like he was silently yelling at you for getting on his nerves. 

“She would’ve been disappointed. She taught me over the years that a doctor who can’t think on their feet at lightning speed is useless. A doctor who got emotionally attached to their patients was equally as useless.” You tore your eyes away from him to look at the safety of your lap. Unable to look at him as you spoke, “I was useless at being able to help you when it mattered.”

The sob you’d been struggling to hold back erupted in a burst that forced you to cover it with your hand. You couldn’t let anyone else hear you as you shattered. 

“Maybe that was my final lesson from her. To prove that caring for all of you the way I do is only going to harm you later.”

What good was having a doctor who was only going to fail them later? But Zoro still being alive proved that it wasn’t just medicine that kept people going, but their own desire to live. That was all you wanted. You didn’t need him to wake up and proclaim his undying devotion to you. Even if he woke up still hating you, you would accept it. Anything was good enough for you if it meant you’d get to see him smile one last time. 

Walking into the galley you expected it to be either quiet or at least filled with light conversation. Maybe even a couple of gloomy faces. 

What you hadn’t expected? For it to smell like Baratie inside the tiny space, and to find the reason for the smell to be Sanji talking away with Luffy and Usopp while he cooked. 

“It smells like heaven in here,” you mused, taking in a deep inhale of all the aromas floating inside the kitchen. 

Usopp was leaning against the island - in the same exact spot Zoro had been in mere hours ago. His blood still stained part of the wood. You couldn’t bring yourself to go near it. So, you made your way around it completely and over to sit with Luffy. Who was currently cleaning the Wado Ichimonji for Zoro just like he said he would. 

Everywhere you looked Zoro’s presence was a constant reminder. A ghost haunting you that you hadn’t signed up for. 

“If this is heaven then in walked an Angel.”

Instantly, all your sadness was quickly replaced with irritation - and relief. 

“It’s a little too early to be flirting, isn’t it?”

“Nah. It’s never too early to let a beautiful woman know just how breathtaking she is.” 

“Ugh, I wouldn’t let Zoro hear you talk to Doc like that,” Usopp chuckled nervously. “I think he’d probably implode.” 

“I’m sorry. Who?” 

Sanji either must have had the worst memory you’d encountered in a while or he was playing dumb for the hell of it. Usopp took a bit of the apple he’d grabbed from the fruit bowl. He held up a finger letting Sanji know he needed to wait while he chewed before he spoke. 

“Green-haired guy. Three swords.”

“The one from this morning?”

“Yeah, that’s the one.”

Sanji cocked his head to the side as if he was questioning if Usopp was telling him a joke and he’d missed the punchline. He was in the middle of folding something in the middle of what looked like dough and you were tempted to interrupt their small discussion about your nonexistent love life to see what it was. 

“I think I’ll take my chances.”

Sanji smiled warmly at Usopp and sent another eye twitch in your direction. 

This guy was going to give you trouble. 

You watched as Luffy softly ran one of Zoro’s clothes over the sheath of the blade. He was taking his time and made sure he didn’t miss a single part. He was dedicated to making sure Zoro knew his things were safe here, with all of you, on the Merry. That he was a captain who would do what was necessary for the things you all loved and held valuable. 

“So, how did he look, Doc?”

Luffy’s question tore your eyes away from watching him do another round of polishing. He hadn’t looked at you yet, but you knew the minute you started talking he would give you his undivided attention. 

“He’s doing okay. No real change in vital signs. A slight infection has set in and gave him a fever. I made some medicine to give him every few hours just to make sure it’s nothing major.” 

Luffy placed a hand on your shoulder and gave you a light shake. A smile graced his lips as he replied, “The best doctor in all of the East Blue and soon, the Grand Line!”

You wish you could smile back brighter or maybe with something that looks genuine. Instead, a grimace meant to resemble a smile graced your lips. 

“I don’t know about the best doctor. I had no idea yellowtail skin had so many wonderful properties in them.”

“I don’t think any of us did, honestly,” Sanji offered. 

“It makes me wonder if Naan even knew about it.”

“What? You mean the resident doctor in your village never used the wonder that is yellowtail.”

“I think if you told Naan to go fishing for an ingredient you’d end up fishing your teeth off the floor.” 

“Oooh,” Sanji chuckled. “Is she really that bad?”

“Worse,” Usopp interjected. “Naan isn’t really known for taking new age information or techniques very well.”

“Hey,” you interject with a pout. 

“You know it’s true. She follows what her mother taught her religiously and makes Doc follow it too. I’m not saying she’s not a great doctor just…really old school.”

“I mean, she is old, Usopp,” you deadpanned. 

“You know what I meant.” 

“You two seem to know each other pretty well.”

Sanji was keeping himself busy still with scooping batter into a piping bag. You were so tempted to ask him what the hell he was making and how soon would you be able to get any of it. His statement was said with an inviting smile and a look of interest in his eyes as he looked between you and Usopp. 

“Doc and I go way back. She was literally, like, my only friend in the village we grew up in.”

“That is not true. You had Kaya. I had you and Naan and that was about it.”

“I’m sure a beautiful woman such as yourself has plenty of friends and admirers.”

God, please make him stop calling you beautiful. 

“Well, you’re wrong. No one in the village liked me.”

“They were actually scared of her.”

You loved how casually Usopp could just drop information without a care in the world. He was always like that since you were kids. You figured it must have been part of his ability to weave stories so intricately. Sprinkle truth throughout the lie and no one was sure what part was real and what wasn’t. The only problem here? He didn’t follow it up with anything else but the truth. 

“Usopp!” You shot out in a groan. 

He’d taken a bit of the apple again so all you got in response was a shoulder shrug. 

“Why would villagers be scared of you?” 

It wasn’t hard to miss the disbelief in Luffy’s voice or the small chuckle that clung to the back of each word. 

“Because-“ 

“Because she just showed up out of thin air on the island.” Usopp interrupted trying to swallow the remaining apple pieces in his throat. “No parents. No nothing. They all thought that a Siren or something dropped her off on the shores. All the villagers thought she was a bad omen.”

“Oh my god, Usopp! I’m like right here I can tell it and, by the way, you are the reason why everyone thought I came as a curse from the ocean and that my mom was a Siren!”

“I was trying to help you. It got Johnny Fittsmore to stop cutting pieces of your hair, didn’t it!”

“Wow. Okay.” Sanji mumbled. “Weren’t kidding on the friend's part.”

“Why was he cutting pieces of your hair?”

You weren’t surprised Luffy was confused. He was kind-hearted, and would probably never grasp the concept of people choosing to be mean. 

“I just showed up on the beach aboard a small lifeboat. Naan said she could hear my cries from her house.”

“Cries? As in a baby?” 

Sanji stopped all he was doing to rest his hands on the counter. His broad shoulders hunched forward as he looked at you through a small window of hair. He looked visibly upset and the last thing you needed was the new guy to think you were broken.

“I don’t know if I was a baby. I just know I was small and Naan decided not to let the birds eat me.” 

“No parents?”

“I mean, does anyone really have parents at this point?”

Usopp’s mom unfortunately passed away while you were both young. He’d never met his dad, Yasopp, wherever that no good baby daddy of a pirate was and basically had Usopp chasing after shadows in hopes he would ever return. Luffy seemed to only have a crazy stalker grandpa and that left Nami and Zoro with the chance of having actual functioning parental units somewhere.

“The lucky ones do.”

Sanji’s reply was delicate, like his smile, as if he said it too loud it would spook you. 

“I guess that makes us an unlucky bunch of misfits,” you replied. 

“I think we’re pretty lucky,” Luffy interjected. “We all found each other.” 

You were not going to cry. 

In the few hours this all happened,  you couldn’t remember the last time you smiled and meant it. A handful of those times had been with Luffy and, just like the times before, you could feel your own smile curving your lips. A real one. 

“I could drink to that.”

“Funny you mention a drink,” Sanji began as he placed something in the oven. “But I think you still owe me one.”

You got up from your seat and made your way over to stand next to the sink. Your eyes watched as Sanji did, in fact, have a bottle waiting in the basket he’d brought back from Baratie. 

“You always carry a bottle around with you?”

“Only when I get the chance to share a drink with a talented woman, such as yourself.” 

“Do any of these lines usually work on women?”

A full-throated laugh left him as he grabbed two glasses and began to pour the drinks. You would never say it out loud, not even if someone threatened to cut a limb off, but you enjoyed Sanji’s company. He didn’t take himself too seriously, except for his cooking. 

He let you tease him and took everything you served in stride. Although…you did miss the way Zoro always seemed to have something equally sharp to send back your way. Sanji just liked being in the company of others, especially if that company happened to be the opposite sex. 

“Sometimes,” he answered honestly. “It’s usually my charm and not my words that do it.”

“I can see that.”

He was charming. He was handsome. There wasn’t a point in denying facts just because your cup of tea was currently brewing on life support in the back. Sanji handed you your glass and lifted his up in a toast. 

“To the first drink and, hopefully, to many more.” 

You moved your glass to meet his and a light clink filled the space between you. You brought the glass to your lips and swallowed the liquid in a few gulps. As you set your glass back on the island you could hear a soft chuckle from Usopp coming from behind you. When you turned to look at him he was grinning from ear to ear. 

“What?”

“Zoro is going to be so pissed when he gets up.” 

You were about to tell him to shut up and remind him you were both very much single and in no way romantically involved. Even if you might have wanted that to happen, Zoro made it clear it wasn’t what he wanted. 

You started to open your mouth when Nami came crashing in through the galley’s doors. 

“Luffy! Luffy! The Arlong Pirates are at Baratie. We have to leave now.”

“What? Why? Why should we leave?”

“Because they are looking for you!”

“Just fucking great,” you sighed as you grabbed the bottle Sanji had left on the table.

Her last words were directed at Luffy. Of course, someone was here for Luffy. When wasn’t someone here for him? Stalker grandpa. Stalker grandpa’s war dog. Now another pirate who may or may not be working with stalker Grandpa. 

“Me?”

Luffy seemed as surprised as the rest of you. A finger pointing at himself just to make sure we were all physically sure it was, in fact, him.

“And the map. Those fishmen will tear this place apart if Zeff doesn’t turn him over.”

In a flash, all the joking and light conversation disappeared. One minute Sanji was beside you and then he was bounding around the island to get to his coat. 

“Where are you going?”

“If Baratie‘s in danger, I need to be there.”

You knew what was going to happen before Luffy even spoke. The goodness that was the core of who Luffy was would never abandon people to possible pain and suffering. It wasn’t in whatever strange and stretchy DNA that made up who he was. It was why you’d joined him and why you would continue to be aboard this ship until he no longer wanted you there. 

“Alright, I’m coming with you.” 

“Did you not hear what I just said? They are hunting you. We need to run.”

“I’m with Nami on this one. I’m really not trying to ruffle any feathers or scales.”

“Usopp. There are innocent people inside that place.

“How do you know that, Doc? It’s a restaurant that serves pirates!”

“Usopp - we,” you indicated between the two of you, “are pirates.” 

“Oh, yeah. That’s a solid point, but still-“

“I’m not running,” Luffy cut in. “We’re going to protect this place.”

“This isn’t your fight. Why would you do that?”

You could feel yourself waiting for the answer - for Sanji to experience the man that was Monkey D. Luffy. With a kind smile, he simply replied, “You fed us.”

Kindness for a kindness. 

“Look, I know this crew. Their captain, Arlong, has the highest bounty in all of the East Blue. You do not want to mess with him.”

“It sounds like he messed with us first.”

“Luffy, please. Please.”

“Nami. What are you so afraid of?”

You weren’t sure what possessed you to say it or why you moved towards her. It didn’t matter if she tried to deny it or cover it up with anger this time. You’d seen her and the fear that rolled off her like a sickness appeared to cripple her. 

“What do I have to be afraid of? You are all going to rush in there and get yourselves killed!”

“Nami,” Luffy said, “I can’t let innocent people get hurt because of me. If those fishmen guys want a fight, we’re gonna give them one.” He looked between Nami and you and walked over to her. A solid hand cupping her shoulder. “You two stay back with the ship and protect the map. Hmm.”

“Fuck that!” 

You stepped forward to the other side of him forcing him to turn from Nami to face you. 

“I’m going with you.”

“Doc, it’s safer-“

“I don’t care. You’re down a man right now and, no offense Usopp, he isn’t the greatest choice for backup.”

“Hey! I’m taking all the offense!”

“Take it all I don’t care. Luffy, I may not be a three-sword-wielding badass but I can help you. Let me help you. Please.”

Luffy regarded you for one long moment before he slowly nodded. 

“You can’t be serious?”

Nami regarded you like you’d gone insane. Maybe you had. You weren’t a soldier. You didn’t know much about fighting besides when you punched Isaki Quade in the nose in the lemon grove. 

“I’m going with him, Nami.”

“It’s going to be alright, Nami,” Luffy interjected. “The ship and the map will be safe with you.”

With that, Luffy turns on his heel and heads for the door. As you walked past the island you reached up and removed a pot from the upper rack. If Zoro could see you now, you could already hear what he would say in your head. 

Seriously? You’re bringing the pot with you? 

“What’s with the pot?” Sanji asked. 

You twirled it around in your hand as you both tried to keep pace with Luffy’s quick steps. 

“It’s my weapon of choice.”

Sanji still looked confused but you didn’t have time to explain. Luffy was already up and over the side of the Merry and walking towards the deck. If you didn’t catch up fast he would be inside Baratie before you even made it to the door. 

“This is a bad idea. Such a bad idea.”

You knew Usopp was trying to whisper it to himself. He’d always been one to talk his thoughts out when he wasn’t even trying. You tried to soothe him as you passed through the door into Baratie with a pat on his back, and instead, he nearly became one with the ceiling. 

“We are going to be okay, Usopp.”

“You shouldn’t even be here, Doc,” he snapped back. “You are the ship's doctor. What happens if we get injured and so do you?”

“The good news is in that scenario I’m just injured - not dead. So, I can still patch you guys up.”

“That doesn’t make me feel the least bit better.”

If the mood wasn’t so serious you would’ve laughed. The moment felt like you were back in Syrup village with Usopp rambling on and on about if he should or shouldn’t tell Kaya he was in love with her. No matter what you told him, his head would still worry. It was his nature. 

Everything froze in time, however, when Luffy pushed open the double doors and stepped inside the eerily quiet dining room. 

“Who here is Arlong?”

That was one way to make an entrance. 

“That would be me.”

A deep voice boomed from below you and when you looked over the railing, immediately you wished you’d stayed on the ship. He was holding an older man by the collar, sharp teeth exposed at his throat. You suddenly wished Zoro was here. 

“My name is Monkey D. Luffy and I hear you're looking for me.”

“Why, yes I am.”

You had to hand it to Luffy. Arlong looked terrifying to look at and overly confident. Luffy didn’t seem the least bit phased by any of it as he led you all down the stairs. 

“So, this is the pirate I’ve heard so much about? You know? I was expecting someone…bigger.”

“So was I.” 

If you weren’t so fucking terrified you would’ve laughed. At least Luffy was able to smile for the both of you, because the minute eyes darker than the trenches of the ocean peered up at all of you ready to rip out your throats you swear you felt your soul exit stage left. 

“Do you know who I am, boy? I’m Arlong the Saw. Even the Marines flee before my flag.”

“Not ringing a bell. How’s you find me anyway?”

A sickening chuckle that reminded you of gills taking in water filled the room. 

“An old friend helped me track you down.” 

He clicked his tongue right after he finished, and you hated the fact that you jumped. You hated it even more when Sanji moved to stand just a little in front of you to protect you. 

In all of a second, the dirty blonde-haired fishmen reached into a black bag and took out a- 

“Is that a fucking clown head?!” 

You wanted to scream but swallowed it down as it started talking and- oh god moving. The neck area actually wiggled as he shouted, “Heya, Straw Hat. Did you miss me?”

“Burpy? What are you doing here?”

“Believe me, it wasn’t my first choice either. But these fine fishy folk persuaded me to point them in the right direction, which ain’t easy when you don’t have any hands.” 

He let out a laugh like this was like any other day. All completely normal. 

“How’d you even know how to find me?”

“I told you. I’ve got eyes and ears everywhere.”

To prove his point, you watched in horror as an ear fluttered its way out of Luffy’s hat and back to attach itself to Burpy’s head. 

“What is happening right now?” 

Your whisper was aggressive and you weren’t even sure why you were even asking Usopp or Sanji like they even knew. It just made you feel a bit better when all three of you looked at each other equally disturbed. 

Luffy, as usual, looked less shocked about the ear in his hat and more that he’d been listening. 

“You were listening all along? You heard everything?”

“Everything. And that got old quick, ‘cause you shidiots have no idea what you are doing. By the way, Doc, it's so nice to finally meet you. You’re equally as delicious as Dreamsicle. Wherever she is. Hey, Lips!”

Burpy turned to yell at the fishmen who did have rather large lips to scratch his ear. You were still stuck on the fact a clown head was trying to hit on you. 

Maybe you should’ve just stayed with Nami on the boat. 

The fishmen denied him his apparent scratch and Burpy went into full shriek mode. You instantly winced at the sound and tried not to cover your ears as his head was shoved back inside the black bag. 

“Listen here. I want my map and half of whatever you plunder as tribute. And if you bow down to me, I might even let you serve in my kingdom.”

Arlong was walking slowly towards you - towards Luffy. You weren’t sure if while he talked he was smiling or snarling. 

“I don’t bow down to any man.”

“I’m no man.”

“Or fish,” Luffy corrected. “You’re no king.”

“I will be when I get my Grand Line map.”

“Then…” Luffy placed his hat back on his head and you already knew what was coming. “You’re going to have to fight me for it.”

Shit. 

Suddenly, coming in with a fucking cooking pot felt ridiculous, but you were gripping it tightly all the same. 

“Then let the fighting begin.” 

Right as Arlong smacked his fist into his hand, the sound of a gunshot went off and your eyes traveled up to see a rather large Chef’s hat in the middle of the room. Attached to that hat was Zeff who held a small muscat in his hand. 

The other fishman who sat at the table with Blondie immediately got up and kicked the wood of Zeff’s wooden leg. It broke without pause and sent the older man tumbling to the floor. When he looked up, the Fishman kicked him hard and sent him flying back through three tables. 

“Zeff!”

Sanji’s voice was filled with so much pain your chest aches but it was also thundering to life with adrenaline. How the fuck did you think a pot was going to help at all against them? You could hear Zoro chastising you, calling you a dumbass and you swiftly pushed it away. Now was not the time to talk to imaginary Zoro. 

Sanji ran down the stairs and kicked Blondie away and used the momentum to land on their table. He spun off and kicked the Fishman who’d hurt Zeff. 

“Usopp!”

He ran past you and shrank down small to get under the table. No one else saw him do it. They were too busy watching Sanji as he took on the fishman. 

“Usopp, get bac-“

You moved down the stairs to get him and were greeted with Sanji’s body landing on the exact table. It tipped over instantly and exposed Usopp underneath. He immediately clamored out from underneath it. 

“Get the people out of here! Get them out now!” 

You rushed down what was left of the stairs as Luffy started shouting out his gum-gum pistol. You could hear his body stretching impossibly far back, but you were busy trying to get to Sanji. He was choking on the air trapped in his lungs and your body was seized in terror that he may have a punctured lung. 

“Sanji,” you asked, placing a hand on his face to bring him to focus on your face and the other gently on his side. “Are you alright? Does anything feel broken?”

“Just…my pride,” he wheezed back. 

You ignored the fact he’d placed his hand over yours and lightly began to move him towards Usopp who was now on the other stairs. You looked back and saw Arlong toss Luffy violently against the pillar. 

“Get up!”

“Luffy!”

You tried to move down off the stairs and felt Sanji grip you tightly around your waist to keep you there with him and Usopp. He kept throwing punch after punch and Arlong took them all with stride. Luffy wasn’t making a dent and to Arlong this was just a game. 

Luffy tried to swing on him one last time and Arlong caught it. He tried to swing again to make Arlong let him go, and he easily caught that one. With both fists in his hands, he used them to pull Luffy to him. 

You tried to wiggle free but Sanji held on tight and the feeling of Usopp’s hand on your shoulder joined in. Luffy looked so scared; so angry as Arlong told him something through sharpened teeth. One minute they were there and the next Arlong flung him up into the foray. 

“Luffy!”

This time you did scream as Arlong took the stairs to reach him. The continued sounds of a body being thrown through stained glass windows. 

“Doc, I know you want to go to him but you can’t! It isn’t safe.”

“Fuck that I can’t just let him die!”

You were nearing hysterics. Why couldn’t they remember that Luffy was a Devil Fruit eater? That outside was miles and miles of ocean and Arlong knew it. All it would take is one splash, and one toss, and Luffy would be defenseless. All it would take is him falling over the dock and he would drown. 

“He isn’t going to die!”

“Usopp, he ate a Devil fruit! Mother Ocean turns her back on those who do and what is outside with them?” 

You needed them to understand that it wasn’t because you wanted to be a hero. You weren’t that kind of person. You just wanted to save the life of your Captain. 

You refused to lose two people on the same day. 

“Oh, shit,” Usopp mumbled and you felt your head shaking along with it. 

“Yes! Shit. I need to make sure he’s okay. Please.” 

Sanji looked from Usopp and back to you. Blue eyes desperately searching your face to come up with a reason to tell you no. Finally, he released the hold he kept on your waist and nodded up the stairs. 

“Go check on our Captain.” 

You mouthed the words thank you as you bolted up the stairs. You took them two at a time and rounded the broken foray doors to see the sunlight coming from outside. That door too had been completely smashed open with Luffy’s body. 

The adrenaline in your veins screamed at you to move faster; be quicker. Your feet thundering onto the dock just in time to see Arlong holding Luffy up over the edge of the dock and…was that Nami?

“Nami!” You called out to her. “What are you doing?”

“Doc! Stay back!” 

Each word that left Luffy came out choked and ragged. His hands weakly clamored at the grip Arlong had on his throat. Your eyes didn’t know where to look. Luffy who was in danger or Nami who…had a suspicious-looking tattoo that looked like Arlong in tattoo form and the Grand Line map in hand. 

“What is going on?”

“A business transaction, girl,” Arlong chuckled. “Don’t be a pest and interrupt.” 

“I wasn’t talking to you, asshole,” you snapped. You should’ve cared when the smile left his face. When he looked like he would throw you into the ocean along with Luffy. “Nami. I asked you a question.” 

She turned on you then. Her whole body facing you as she gave you a shrug and a look so icy it could’ve frozen hell slid across her face. For all her show of hatred, however, she couldn’t hollow out the heartbreak in her eyes. Nami didn’t want you to hate her but she would make you, and you wanted to know why. 

“What is it that you aren’t comprehending, Doc? I was sent to steal the map and bring it back to him. I’ve been a part of Arlong’s crew this whole time. I played you.” 

You didn’t believe her for one second. Your friendship isn't something that could be faked. The way she cared and pleaded with Zoro to not fight Mihawk. She’d even pleaded with Luffy to run while Arlong was here and maybe…maybe it’s because she was running too. 

“I don’t believe you-“

“Believe whatever you want. It’s not going to make a difference or make any of this less real,” she snapped. 

She dismissed you by completely turning away from you and headed towards a Jolly Roger that held the same emblem as her tattoo. Arlong went to bite at Luffy’s neck and Nami called to him. 

“Why waste your time killing a Devil Fruit eater when the sea can do it for you.” 

No! “No!” 

This time when the fear threatens to freeze you in place and to keep you from making that critical step forward, you don't hesitate to burst into a full sprint. Your words leave you in a rush. 

“I’m a doctor! Do you hear me Arlong!? I’m a doctor.”

“Doc, no-“ 

“What good is a human doctor to me?” Arlong snarled in response. 

You could hear the sound of his fingers releasing Luffy. The sound of his body edging closer to the lip of the ocean. 

“Columnaria! Fish rot. I can cure it.”

That caused him to pause - for everyone to pause. 

“How? You’re a human.”

“We had fishmen who served one of the wealthy businessmen where I lived. They would get sick and Naan- the healer would have to treat them. She taught me how.”

Cautiously you moved towards him with your hands up. If he did decide to not take you up on your offer and drop Luffy into the ocean you wanted to be close enough to jump in. 

“I can treat any of your fishmen who are sick with it. I can teach you how to care for it yourself. But if you drop him into the ocean you’ll get nothing.” 

It was easy to see how much Arlong hated that you knew how to cure a disease that killed fishmen like wildfire. A human. You bargained his men’s life for the life of your Captain and that seemed fair. 

“Don’t do this, Doc.” 

“I’m sorry, Luffy. I have to.”

You couldn’t shake the feeling that you’d failed Zoro somehow. You wouldn’t fail Luffy too. 

Arlong took all of a second to consider your offer. He showed you he accepted it by dropping a very weak Luffy back onto the safety of the dock. 

“I accept your bargain, human. Welcome to the Arlong Pirates.”

_________

As always, thank you so much for reading. Comments and reblogs are always welcome.

_________

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[dandelions-143]

Trouble

Part of the Bar Boy Series

Pics credited to @seungminindabuilding THANK YOU SO MUCH🩷

Seungmin Masterlist

Other members: MASTERLIST

Pairing:virgin, non idol, Seungmin x Wild, Party Girl, fem!reader.

Wk: 2851k

Warnings: nothing too crazy in this one, drug use, mention of alcohol, public oral(it’s in a convertible), m-receiving 18+ ONLY

A/n: this one’s a bit more light hearted than the others. A crossover once again. This is the same party from the party mentioned in Chans fic ( Do It For Me) & Hyunjins fic ( Secrets ). If you haven’t checked those out please do so!! Also y/n in this fic is different from all the other y/n’s, obviously. Smut under the cut-enjoy🫣

You sat at the edge of the pool, your bare feet dangling in the cool, clear water. Blowing smoke rings above your head just to reach up and poke through them with your finger. Chans party was dwindling down after hours of loud music and drinking most people were either passed out or had left.

Your heavy lidded eyes watched as a few people still swam around in the pool. The weed you had been smoking mixed with the alcohol you had consumed from earlier had you feeling very calm and care free. It felt good. As you blew out another smoke ring your eyes happened to meet a set of round innocent looking eyes across the pool.

Your vision was a little blurry but you could tell those eyes were the sweetest you had seen in a long time. Those eyes belonged to a man who was sitting on one of the chairs, a drink in hand surrounded by a few other guys and girls. You licked your lips and leaned forward a bit, keeping your eyes on his. The man’s puppy eyes momentarily dipped down to follow the path of your tongue then returned to staring at your eyes.

You don’t know if it was the drugs, alcohol, or both but you lifted your free hand slowly motioning him to come over. The dark haired man looked a little surprised. He glanced around to make sure he was the one you were wanting. You smiled lazily and leaned back on one hand bringing the half smoked blunt up to your lips.

The man stood, dressed in light wash jeans, light blue cardigan over a white tshirt. His hair pushed back from his face. He was very handsome in the most boyish way. You wanted to get your claws in him.. maybe corrupt him a little. The moment he sat down beside you instead of talking, you simply offered him your blunt.

His deep eyes watched you for a beat, seemingly taking in your soft features before taking the blunt from you, his warm fingers brushed against yours briefly. You instantly liked that he didn’t come over trying to flirt or talking stupid to you. “What’s your name, puppy?” You finally spoke up. You watched as his Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat after he blew the smoke out.

He turned his head looking at you curiously, “Apparently it’s puppy.” He held out the blunt for you to take back and you did. “You look like a puppy to me. I like your face.” You giggled softly and took another hit of the blunt. “It’s Seungmin, what’s yours?” You heard him ask but you didn’t answer. Instead you leaned closer to him with the smoke still in your lungs. The burn was the best feeling to you.

His eyes widened a bit, unsure of what you were doing but he quickly understood and leaned closer as well. Seungmin parted his lips as you very slowly blew out the smoke for him to inhale, your lips mere centimeters from his. You couldn’t help but giggle at his innocent expression once you pulled away. “You’re new here, huh?” You asked, your eyes meeting his deep stare that oddly made you a little nervous. People usually didn’t look at you like that.. like they could see right through your nonchalant facade.

You cleared your throat and looked away, waiting for his response. Seungmins cheeks turned a little red and he looked down, a little embarrassed it was that obvious. “Yeah, I mean I’m friends with Chan and the rest of the guys.” At the mention of him being friends with Chan you raised a brow at him. What is a seemingly sweet guy like him doing with them.. from first glance he didn’t seem to fit in with them exactly. “So you’re a bad boy.” You spoke your thoughts more to yourself than to him. Seungmin looked as if he was about to deny it when you suddenly stood up and held out your hand for him to take.

Seungmin took your hand, his skin was hot and smooth against your palm. His long fingers seemed to engulf your petite hand. “Where are we going?” He asked with a mix of curiosity and apprehension. You laced your fingers through his, “We are going to see just how bad you can be.” You could see him visibly swallow. He was nervous and you loved it. Discarding the almost completely smoked joint you pulled your new boy toy inside the large mansion.

You could hear Seungmin asking you what exactly you two were going to do as you pulled him up the stairs eventually coming to chans room. “Ew..he is such a pig.” You said under your breath as you took in the messy bed and clothes laying all over the floor. “What the fuck are we doing in here?” Seungmin sounded annoyed, his hand raking through his short black hair.

“I already told you.” You smirked, rummaging through Chans desk drawers until you finally found what you were looking for. You held up a set of car keys, “Ever stolen a car before?” You giggled at Seungmins wide eyed expression. He was frozen in place as you tried to tug him out the door. “Come on, we will bring it right back.” You happily bounced up to him, placing your hands on his hips to steady yourself as you stood on your tiptoes and pressed a very quick and innocent little kiss to Seungmins plump rosie lips.

That seemed to get him moving because he aimlessly let you pull him back down the stairs and out into the large garage that housed Chans cars along with his fathers. “Are these all Chans?” Seungmin asked upon seeing the four cars and one motorcycle parked there. His eyes took in the deep red of the street bike. “I knew Chan was loaded but the guy has a Ducati motorcycle?”

You rolled your eyes, “Stop drooling.. his favorite is right here.” You walked up to a sleek black convertible. Your eyes went right to Suengmin as he stepped up to admire the car. “A Bentley Bacalar… this.. this is a 2 million dollar car.” He walked around the car to take it all in. You could tell he was enthralled with the expensive car. “There’s only 12 of these ever made with an open top.” You smiled devilishly and stepped up to him dangling the keys in front of his face. “And you’re going to drive it.”

Seungmins eyes went from the car to you then back to the car. You could tell he was weighing his options. You could also tell the temptation was going to win out. It took all of a few seconds for Seungmin to make up his mind and you two were in the car driving down Chans long driveway.

Seungmin surprised you but speeding up significantly as soon as you two got on the main road. The cool night wind already had your hair whipping about. Seungmin noticed your cheeks were getting rosy from the wind and he reached over placing a very warm palm on skin.

You smiled and raised your hands in the air, “Faster, Seungmin!” You yelled and he did exactly as you said. The engine revved even louder as his led foot grew even heavier on the gas petal. You had no clue how fast you two were going but you felt like you could fly in that very moment.

Without warning you slowly stood up, placing your still bare feet in the leather seat. Your butt was leaning against the headrest for some stability as you raised your hands up once again. At first Seungmin was laughing loudly, enjoying the freedom he was experiencing and the thrill you gave him.

You closed your eyes and the feeling terrified you but, you had never felt better. It felt good to feel this alive. To feel as if you were flying. Most of your life you had always felt restless; always searching for that next high.. that next good feeling. Your skin wasn’t crawling and your bones felt calm for once in your entire life.

Seungmin began to get a little worried as the road became curvier. You could hear him call for you, “Hey, Sit down now, okay!” Of course you didn’t respond. Nothing was going to interrupt this euphoric feeling you had in that moment.

You could feel the car slowing down some and it smoothly take a few simple curves. Seungmin could see a deep curve up ahead and he yelled for you again but, to no avail. You just would not listen to him. Just as the car took the curve and your body began to lean more and more towards the open road Seungmin grabbed onto your arm and yanked you back down into the seat.

The crazy thing was… you weren’t even startled. You began to giggle.. the adrenaline still pumping through your veins but, your smile began to fade once you saw his face. Seungmin looked pissed. His jaw was set in a hard line, his lips pinched together a little and his eyes glancing from the road to you were narrowed and glaring. “Are you fucking insane! You could have fallen out!” He yelled at you and then kept his eyes on the road in front of him.

The sight of him being so angry and how his boyish looks changed to something else entirely… mixed with the adrenaline in your body… you decided to do something.

You got up on your knees and leaned over the console. Your lips pressed a soft kiss to his jaw just below his ear. “Let me show you just how insane I am.” Seungmin didn’t push you away or move away from you. He only scoffed a little, thinking you were only bluffing.

He realized just how serious you were when you began to kiss along his jawline as one of your hands slid down his torso to rub him through his jeans.

Seungmins breathing began to come out short and quick. You kept kissing down his neck, running your tongue over his smooth skin. “W-what are you doing?” The last word out of his mouth came out very breathy.

“Just keep your eyes on the road.” You mumbled against his now very hot skin. His cheeks were growing redder by the second. You found his undeniable innocences very adorable. All of Seungmins precious anger and tension melted away from his body as you unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans.

“Shouldn’t we do this in a more private place?” Seungmin asked, his voice was a bit shaky but the words came out rushed as if he was anxious. You only giggled and pulled out his hard cock. It was pretty just like the rest of him.. in that moment you wanted to see what he looked like completely naked.

Did he have any freckles? And scars? Or was his body perfect like the his face.. the thoughts ran through your head as you continued to touch him.

“Don’t worry, puppy. Just focus on the road and let me do the rest.” You reassured him. You could feel Seungmins muscles physically relax the moment you parted your lips and slid his cock inside your mouth.

You slid him deep, almost to the back of your throat and held him there for a second before pulling him out. You repeated this motion very slowly, taking your time to slide your tongue over the smooth skin that stretched over his veiny member.

The sounds coming from Seungmins now parted lips turned you on immensely. His moans were soft at first, barely audible but, as you sped up your movements and sucked a bit harder his grunts and moans became louder.

Seungmin kept his eyes on the road as best he could but, he kept glancing down wanting to see you take him in your pretty mouth. “Fuck, baby that feels so good..” he would moan and buck his hips up a little. “Use your teeth l, just a bit..” he said and you obliged. Taking him deep, sliding him down your throat as far as you could, causing you to gag around him. Seungmin let go of the wheel with one hand and tangled his fingers in your hair.

“Oh my god..what’s your name? I- I don’t know your name.” he whimpered, pressing your head down a longer when you tried to come up for air. When he removed his hand you drug your teeth very lightly up his swollen cock. A string of your spit connecting your lips to the tip of him. “It’s Y/n.” You said softly. “Beautiful.” He mumbled back to you, caressing your cheek softly.

You took the opportunity to finally look at Seungmin and he was a visible mess but, in the best way. His eyes were heavy with need, he must have been running his hand through his hair at one point because it was now a mess. Seungmins chest heaved up and down as if he had been running a marathon.

“Please.. y/n don’t stop.. your mouth feels so good.” Seungmin was desperate for you to put him back in your wet mouth. You thought it was so hot the way he wasn’t afraid to beg for it.. the noises he was making… needless to say your panties were soaked for him.

You leaned back down sucking harder than before, moving your head up and down in a fast paced rhythm. You could tell he was close because of the grip he had on your hair and the way his thigh muscles tensed so hard they trembled just a little. His cock felt rock hard on your tongue and as you pushed your self down on him until he was back in your throat again you felt him twitch. Soon a thick salty coating enveloped your mouth. You swallowed his cum and gave him one last slow suck, pulling away with a very audible “POP” as you fully sat up.

Seungmin was doing his best to keep his concentration on the road still, but his body was spent. He leaned back in the car seat, his head laid back on the head rest. He reached over after you had zipped him back up into his jeans, gently grabbing you by the back of the neck and pulled you in for a kiss.

The car was slowing to a stop and it took everything in you to pull back from the intoxicating taste of his smooth tongue. “We better get Chans car back to him or he’s going to kill us both.” You kissed him one last time before sitting back down in your seat.

“You nearly sucked my soul out..” Seungmin mumbled as he made a U-turn in the middle of the empty street. That made you laugh and laugh hard. You giggled until tears were daring to spill from your eyes. Seungmin kept glancing at you, taking in your laughter and that made him smile in amusement at you.

“I think you’re exaggerating.” You said to him as your laughter died down and you two were pulling into Chans garage. Seungmin turned the car off after putting in park and turned to you. “Well.. I, um..” he swallowed a small lump in his throat. “I’ve never had anyone.. yah know.. do that to me before.”

You didn’t mean to stare at him the way that you did. This gorgeous man had just confessed to you that he had never received head before. The silence seemed to stretch on for a bit too long until… “Seungmin, are you a virgin?” The question spilled from your mouth before you could really think about it. “I-“ he was about to answer but he was cut off by Chan’s loud voice.

“Yah! What the fuck, Y/n!” Seungmin nearly jumped out of his skin when Chan’s voice boomed throughout the garage. You rolled your eyes and followed Seungmin out of the car. “Calm down, your precious baby was in good hands. Right, Puppy?” You reached over and ruffled his already messy hair. Seungmin didn’t say a word he just stared at Chan with wide eyes.

Chan walked up to you and held out his hand for the key. You took the key from Seungmins loose grip, pecked him on the lips softly and whispered, “I’ll get your number from Chan and text you later. We have to finish what we started.”

Once you had handed Chan his key with a very sarcastic grin plastered on your face he said in the angriest tone Seungmin had ever heard, “Get the fuck to your room!”

You only rolled your eyes, gave him a solute with your middle finger and said, “sure thing, brother dear.”

As you made your way back into the house you could hear Seungmin say “BROTHER?!” Once your words clicked in his head.

You were going to have fun with this one.. you just knew it.

Tag list open : @cashtonsbetch @moonndustx @hearts-444lix @katsukis1wife @hyunjinhoexxx @ihrtlino @breezy-simp @vixensss @yaorzu-blog @tirena1 @whatdoyouwanttocallmefor

So sorry this took so long to post!! I’m having writers block!! BUT hoping to update Hyunjins fic soon

[spoopydeboop]

Hello, and welcome to…

Pointless Palia Head-Cannons!

This is a segment where my hyper-focused and obsessive brain will shower you all with all of the pointless very important head-cannons I have about the MMO Palia and its many NPCs!

Today’s topic is:

Which Palia NPCs can sing well and which ones simply cannot carry a tune?

Now, in the words of the famous Italian plumber, “Here we go!” (List below the cut!)

NPCs are listed in alphabetical order.

• Ashura - Absolutely yes, but in a very deep, sea-shanty / Gaelic tune way. He’s not the most technically sound, but his voice is very gruff and soothing. Absolutely sang his son lullabies every night.

• Auni - No, I’m sorry. Convinced that he cannot carry a tune AT ALL but thinks he can. Sings loudly with zero inhibition whatsoever. Gotta give him credit there!

• Badruu - We know this man was in a traveling Bard group, so he’s musically inclined for sure. I feel like he would have been killer backup and filler vocals and he can harmonize beautifully.

• Caleri - Doesn’t believe in fun, jovial activities like singing. (Elouisa informs you later that her sister can in fact not carry a tune at all.)

• Chayne - Absolutely. He’s naturally musically inclined, but part of his spiritual training involved learning to lead chants and hymns. Bass level vocals, v soothing.

• Delaila - Not at all. Where do you think Auni gets it? Part of what entranced her about Badruu in the beginning was his musical abilities. She’ll still sing along with a group and put her all into it though!

• Einar - The concept of producing a vocal stimulation to create a pleasing melodic sound is lost to the robot. But if it’s your Oneness, he respects it.

• Elouisa - Cannot sing, but definitely played clarinet in high school and was first chair!

• Eshe - No way. Cruella de Vil type vibes. She definitely was classically trained on the piano, but doesn’t often exercise the skill.

• Hassain - Can absolutely carry a tune and harmonize well! Definitely low baritone or higher bass in range. Can harmonize with higher ranges very well!

• Hekla - Her Jina often sings to herself as she works, but the ability and desire to produce a series of melodies is not within her rune programming.

• Hodari - Not the biggest fan of singing, but has a decent voice that comes off pleasantly gruff and southern. I imagine if Pedro Pascal’s ‘Joel’ from The Last of Us sang a slower, more reserved tune. (My other example was the dad cow from Back at the Barnyard that sings “I Won’t Back Down”… Let me know if that woulda been better or worse.)

• Jel - Definitely took vocal lessons with his sisters. Has a very pleasant and airy singing voice that is very technically sound.

• Jina - Doesn’t really sing much except for to herself. Massive stage fright on this one! Hekla says that her Jina seems happy when she sings, and that’s what matters.

• Kenji - Honestly? 100%, yes. Maybe like a broadway or an operatic voice. Doesn’t sing much but I imagine it would sound really jolly if he was a jollier guy.

• Kenyatta - YES! Doesn’t sing because she thinks it’s ‘lame’ (she gives me massive ‘too cool for school’ vibes) but has a delightful and powerful singing voice (kinda like the wolf Porsha Crystal played by Halsey in Sing 2.)

• Nai’O - Yes absolutely. Got his talent from his dad! He’s very shy when put on the spot though, so he doesn’t sing in front of people often — mostly when he works in the field with his animals by himself.

• Najuma - Not at all! But it’s okay because Najuma has zero desire to, haha. Kid is happy to be tinkering!

• Reth - On god, YES. Man has a beautiful and casual singing voice with a little rasp around the edges. Sings to himself while he cooks or gets really focused on something. I’m thinking “Feelin’ Good” by Michael Bublé, but maybe bit more rough around the edges.

• Sifuu - Not much of a singer, but I know our Muscle Mommy definitely has a few war chants or something up her sleeve! Lady can keep a beat for sure.

• Tamala - Thinks she can, but makes it way too sultry. You heard me. There’s such a thing as too much!

• Tish - Yes! Absolutely. She seems like she would 100% have like a Mandy Moore or Kristen Bell vibe. Very Disney Princess-esque!

• Zeki - Okay, honestly I think yes — but not in a conventional way. Kind of like Ashura; I think he would be great at singing like traditional Grimalkin shanties or folk-songs. Not very practiced, but he’s got spirit!

OKAY FINALLY DONE! I plan to do a lot more of these! Let me know if you have any suggestions!

[live-laugh-legolas]

What type of music the fellowship listens to (modern)

Aragorn:

-Country man

-Idk if he even actually listens to it, but I swear every guy on tinder has country music in their interests and I think it is just a go to answer

-“what kind of music do you like?” “Idk, country I guess”

-Likes the depressed indie artists

-✨John Mayer✨

Legolas:

-Idk if anyone is going to agree with me on this but I think he’s into metal music

-I also think he would love Eminem

-He knows every lyric

-Not the type to dance or even show that he’s listening to music, but he actually has music blasting in his ears

-Ik elves have like sensitive ears or whatever but let me have this one

-Wannabe emo kid

Boromir:

-I think he likes pop music but listens almost purely to covers

-“I knew them before they were famous” vibes

-Loves artists like Elton John, Elvis Presley, the Beatles, etc

-Also side note, this man cannot sing but absolutely goes hard at karaoke

Gimli:

-He’s a T-Swift fan

-Also Celine Dion

-I just think he likes the girl bosses

-P!nk, Halsey, and Shawn Mendez because I just thought of it so he must be a girl boss too

-Gets emotional listening to music; like totally matches the energy of the song

-Sometimes I just cry because an artist just sounds so good, and I think he would do the same

Frodo:

-The “aesthetic” music

-You know the ones that kinda go hard but also sound kinda bad if you actually listen to them?

-I was just listening to “Butch 4 Butch” by Rio Romeo and I just got the vibe that Frodo would vibe

Sam:

-I just feel like he likes rap music

-Not aggressive rap, but when songs have rap in them

-Post-Malone sort of vibes

-Also “TikTok songs” but just the part that’s played in the few seconds of the video

Merry:

-Classical music

-But like the classical music that goes hard

-Like “O Fortuna” maybe

-But he also sings JoJo Siwa and no one knows if it’s satire or genuine

-“KARMAS A BITCH!”

Pippin:

-Hozier boy

-The girls, the gays, and the Pippin ya know?

-But also K-Pop

-I don’t know anything about the genre but I have a friend who literally know every dance to every song from Black Pink and I think that’s how Pip would be

-He will have me watch him do the dances and I can just imagine Pippin doing the same thing; putting on little recitals and you just can’t say no

Gandalf:

-Joe Rogan podcasts

-Ok that’s a joke

-But definitely listens to podcasts, maybe ones about science

-Enjoys some good smooth jazz

-Gets real groovy when a saxophone starts playing

*Bonus Faramir and/or Eomer:

-I’ll be honest I don’t know these characters as well as I should

-but

-Recently my sister has had her earbuds in 24/7 and I asked her about it and she has apparently been listening to Dr Who audio dramas

-She is trying to convince me to listen too but frankly I’m too scared

-There was something about a sentient puddle?

-I just feel like one of the characters would do this and these are the two I decided on but lmk if I’m totally wrong

[crossbowandwitches]

What Should I Say? (Fred Weasley x OC)

A/N: Hi! I'm so sorry for the long wait, I was so nervous to carry this on, as this is the first story I've ever actually put out. Hope you enjoy the next part though!

Summary: In the bustling streets of Muggle London, Fred Weasley, known for his mischievous charm and quick wit, stumbles into an unexpected encounter that will turn his world upside down. At an ordinary acting class, he finds himself face to face with the enigmatic Delphine Howard, a woman who seems to have stepped right out of his dreams. However, he soon comes to a heart-wrenching realization: the love he's found in Delphine is a love he can never truly have. Or can he?

Warnings: Use of alcohol, swearing, but eventual smut, angst, stress etc.

Chapters 1 & 2

Word Count: 1540

Chapter 3: Delphine’s POV

I really disliked taking the tube after 8 pm, especially on a warm Friday night, and particularly on the Central line. It always reeked of alcohol or sweat, or both, since this line barely had air conditioning and it was still 23 degrees outside.

I put on my headphones and immersed myself in my favourite album, "If I Can’t Have Love I Want Power" by Halsey, as I embarked on my 15-stop journey from acting class to home.

My phone buzzed, and I saw a message from Russel: "Five Guys tonight?? x" Russel is my boyfriend, although it's complicated. The last thing I wanted was to entertain him tonight. Fridays were always the worst in the office, with endless weekly updates and making sure everything was sorted for the weekend, so I didn’t have to work over the weekend.

"I'm too tired tonight! x," I replied. Instantly, he sent me a sad face emoji. I should be used to this by now, the way he makes me feel bad because I won’t put out for him. He can be a dick, but I always end up going back to him because it's easier than trying again with someone new.

"Next Stop: Bethnal Green Station," I barely heard the announcement over my headphones, but then I realised I was one stop away. I grabbed my bag and made my way to the exit - not before accidentally hitting someone with my bag.

"Shoot, I’m so so-," I looked up and realized I had hit Fred Weasley, the tall and lanky redhead from Wednesday’s acting class.

"Delphine! Delphi!" He quickly corrected himself, knowing I’d prefer to be called Delphi. "Hey! How are you?" he asked.

"I’m good! I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to hit you. Are you OK?" My cheeks were going red; I could feel it. I was embarrassed!

“It’s all good, hah!” He reassured me with a little smile. "Are you heading home?" I realized then that I was pulling into my stop and panicked - I didn’t want this chat to end, and I didn’t know why.

"Yes! Oh god, this is my stop! It was lovely to see you." I offered him an apologetic smile before saying a quick goodbye and hopping on the train. I quickly turned around, and we waved at each other.

“I’ll text you!” He shouted out before the doors closed between us. Something about that comment made me excited.

-

Why was my heart racing? It’s just this tall guy from my acting class, this tall, ginger guy, this tall, handsome, cute- I stopped myself from thinking like that. He’s my student, I’m his teacher and that’s that. 

As I came round the corner to my flat, I saw Russel standing outside and instantly dreaded coming home. Russel was around 5’8, with shoulder length brown hair. He wasn’t unattractive, far from it. He reminded me a little of Jake Gyllenhaal.

I let out a deep sigh as he came over to hug me, “Did you not see my text? I’m tired. Go home please.” He went in to kiss me and I instantly moved my face away. 

“Oh come on, Delphine. I brought dinner.” He grinned and held up a Five Guys takeaway bag, “Your favourite!”

I shook my head, “It’s /your/ favourite.” I headed up the two flights of stairs that lead to my flat with Russel following suit. “I’m really not in the mood tonight. Let's just plan something Sunday, please?” I pleaded but he was in the door the second after I unlocked it. 

“I’m here now, gorgeous. Come on, don’t be rude to your guest!” He shouted out, he was already heading to the kitchen to find drinks, probably something alcoholic. 

I let out an internal scream before kicking my Converse off at the door and locking it. I wish I was still on the tube with Fred. 

Chapter 4: Fred’s POV

As the train pulled away, I just couldn’t stop thinking about her. Was it wrong that I was thinking about her like this? 

“Fuck it.” I muttered to myself before pulling my phone out and the business card she gave me. I saved her number and sent her a quick text, ‘It’s Fred, from acting class. Hope you got home safe.’ 

The train finally reached my stop, and I stepped out into the busy station. I was heading to a party that George invited me to, he practically forced me to come. When I arrived, it was already packed, with music blaring from speakers, and people dancing, laughing and chatting in every corner. 

“There you are, Freddie!” George was already ushering me over to a group of friends before I had a chance to breathe, “Come and meet my friends.”

I constantly checked my phone and I could see George giving me weird looks, no way was I going to tell him why, but I must have been three drinks down when Delphi texted me back; 

‘Hey Fred, thanks! I got home safe :)’ I was grinning ear to ear, but instantly stopped myself when George came over. 

“Who you texting?” He asked, one eye raised. He was onto me. 

“Huh? Nothing.” I was bright red, George wasn’t going to let this go, so I popped my phone into my back pocket and went back to the party. 

-

By the time I decided to call it a night, it was well past 2 am and I had quite a bit to drink. I called George and me an Uber since neither of us was in a position to get any form of public transport. 

When we finally reached my flat, it was already 3 am. I fumbled with my keys, eventually managing to unlock the door and stumble inside. I collapsed onto my bed, my head spinning and my thoughts instantly on Delphi. 

Without even thinking, I grabbed my phone and texted her back, ‘Hey Delphi. Just got back from a party. Hope you had a good night. See you in class. :)’. 

“Shit!” I shouted, almost throwing my phone across the room. “Why did I do that?!” I took a deep sigh before popping my phone down. There was nothing I could do about it now. 

Chapter 5: Delphine’s POV

Russel was already rummaging through my kitchen cabinets. "Where do you keep the wine glasses?" he called out.

"Top shelf, left side," I replied, trying to keep my voice steady. I followed him into the kitchen, feeling the weight of the evening pressing down on me.

He found the glasses and poured two generous servings of white wine. "Here you go," he said, handing me one.

I took the glass but didn't drink. "Russel, I really am tired. I just want to relax tonight."

He took a sip of his wine and leaned against the counter, looking at me with a mix of frustration and something else I couldn't quite place. "You always say that, Delphine. When are we going to spend some real time together?"

I sighed, setting the glass down. "It's been a long week. Can we just plan something for Sunday? I promise I'll make it up to you."

Russel's eyes narrowed. "You always say that too. I'm starting to think you don't want to spend time with me at all." …I wonder why.

“I don’t want an argument tonight, Russel.” I said sternly, “Please, go home.”

“God, Delphine. Fine!” He practically threw his glass into the sink, “I’ll just get it somewhere else…” I wasn’t surprised to hear him mutter that under his breath - this is what he did. 

“Yeah, you do that.” I said as I was practically shoving him out the door and slamming the door in his face. I know what you’re thinking, why is she even with this dude? I ask myself this daily, weekly, hourly. It’s like a form of self-punishment, I just keep crawling back. 

“Now that he was gone, I can get on with my evening,” I said to myself as I unpacked my work bag and plugged my laptop in to charge. I rummaged around the bag for my phone and saw I had a text message from Fred. 

When he said he’d text, he meant it - a man that actually delivered.  -

I very rarely check my phone when I wake up, I’m usually rushing to the bathroom or prioritising a coffee first thing. I also don’t set alarms most of the time, I always wake up around 6.30 am, and this morning wasn’t any different. 

I was mid coffee-making when I heard my phone ringing. I didn’t make it back in time to get the call but it was from Russel, no surprise there. He probably hadn’t even gone home yet. I also saw a text message from Fred and chuckled to myself - a drunk text! 

‘Hey Fred, hope the hangover isn’t too bad, see you Wednesday!’ I was debating inviting him to Monday’s class, it was a smaller class, with more experienced actors which wouldn’t be a bad thing, but he’d probably be even more out of his comfort zone. 

I put my phone back and got on with my morning - there was no way he’d text back until this afternoon. 

[ageless-aislynn]

Aislynn's Jumble of Random Thinky Thoughts on Halo s2 ep4 "Reach"

SPOILERS, but of course

Cpt Admiral Keyes went out like a total badass. I really do hate to lose him but I'm glad he got a better send-off than he did in the game (Halo: Combat Evolved). Seeing him with a pipe was an awesome little callback to the game, IMO. (Though smoking is bad; don't smoke, kids! 👎😬😉)

The fact that The Powers That Be took Silver Team's Mjolnir with them as they ran like cowards evacuated but abandoned actual Silver Team is the most realistic bureaucratic part of the episode. 🙄

I suspected Louis wasn't going to survive but him losing Danilo and then choosing to make that stand immediately after was both heartbreaking but bittersweet: he couldn't live without his beloved and his sacrifice gave John and Riz a chance to escape but also ensured that he didn't have to live long without his beloved. 💔

My Halo vehicle fangirling was cranked up to 117% 😇 here, with me pausing the show to yell, "WRAITH, IT'S A WRAITH! I love hijacking those things!!!" and then "SCORPION! A SCORPION TANK! Aw, man, I do BUSINESS when I have a Scorpion!" *wistful, lovestruck sigh* 💖 Please imagine my dad's 🤔⁉️ face during all of that, lol! 😇

John, my beloved, and Scorpion tank, my beloved... 😍🤷‍♀️😇😉

I was legit upset that Kai was gone the entire ep, not just 'cause I wanted to see her, of course, but because it seems an awful lot like she abandoned her team and that just doesn't seem like her at all. I know last ep she was very torn and upset about John and not really believing what he was saying, but also not wanting to narc him out, either. When she finds out what happened to Vannak, I think she'll blame herself for not being there and, honestly? I think she should. (Same as she should feel bad about not believing John, evidence to the contrary.) Not saying she could've prevented any of the bad stuff, of course, but she wasn't there when Silver Team desperately needed her and if they don't have her feel guilt over that, then that's really going to be OOC for her, IMO. 😔

And then of course, the "two" of the "one-two punch" from this ep... Vannak, nooooooooo! I was completely not expecting to lose him here but I really should have, considering we're straight up doing a version of Reach's game storyline and, as we all know, Noble Team didn't make it out of the game alive (other than Jun).

And yet still... Vannak! Not when he's just learned to love animal documentaries and feeding the birds! The big guy had so much more living to do!!! 😭😭😭 I'm going to really miss him and I'm going to completely ignore his death in any fanfic I ever again write, I'm just saying. 🤷‍♀️😉

Are we feeling like Soren will be getting a place on Silver Team, at least temporarily?

Okay, so I was a little surprised but in a good way over how hard everything about Keyes hit Halsey. She was genuinely kinda tongue-tied at seeing him, then her absolutely screaming at his death and her sobbing... I wasn't expecting that sort of reaction. She really did love him and I wouldn't have thought that before this episode.

I feel vaguely like John's ex just kidnapped his current girlfriend, lol. Also, I keep staring at Makee, thinking, "Is her hair a different blonde? Is she dying her eyebrows or something?" more than anything else so I really need to get over that, lol! Annnnnd I could kinda ship her with her Arbiter but nobody should be surprised at that 'cause I can ship a character with a mop that has a wig and googly eyes on it if the chemistry feels right to me...

I could also see not-Thel!Arbiter as being a suuuuper jealous boyfriend trying to prove he's better than Makee's ex... *shipper glasses, I has 'em at all times!* 😜😉

Since Makee didn't let her Arbiter (whose name is escaping me at the moment) go ahead and kill John, one wonders if it was because she does still have feelings for him or if she just needs him for some later nefarious purpose. And why does she need Cortana? I'm still wondering if we're going to get some sort of "evil" Cortana ala Halo 5 since her new look reminds me a lot more of her Halo 5 look.

This is a still, not GIF, from Halo s2 Cortana's new look, so you don't wonder why it's not moving. 😉

Halo 5 "evil" Cortana.

And you can see s1 Cortana in the GIF right above all of this.

Annnnd my favorite version of Cortana...

Halo 4 Cortana, whom I imprinted on as my very first Cortana, so this is her definitive look to me, what can I say? 🤷‍♀️😉

And bringing things back to the episode once more, I also had a game fangirling moment when John yelled, "Frag out!" as he lobbed the grenade. My dad soon learned that the marines tend to yell that as they're lobbing frag grenades in the various games, too! 😎

Ooo, and almost forgot John's absolute panic eyes when Keyes called him forward during his inspirational speech, lol. Poor Chief, d'aww! But that was a really great moment to show people that Master Chief isn't a robot, he's a flesh and blood person, and I think that was used to great effect in this moment. 💖

In summary, this episode had me

💖

[ghostradiodylan]

What type of music would the counselors listen to?

I know some of my mutuals have answered this question before and I'm sure my headcanons will be influenced by theirs, AND I'm also significantly older than the counselors so they're probably listening to gen z stuff my late millennial ass doesn't even know about but here goes nothing!

Laura So much SIØBHAN! Just kidding. Laura feels like two completely different characters in the game so I have a hard time deciding what I think spunky but straight-laced, ‘this is my first cop,’ over-achieving pre-vet student Laura Kearney would listen to vs badass avenging murder spree Laura Kearney (but maybe she always had that inside her). Part of me wants to say, like, 80’s pop (Prince, Blondie, Tiffany, Michael Jackson, Pat Benetar, etc.) and part of me wants to put her in the hard rock/metal zone with Ryan. Maybe she’s a bit of both.

Max I believe it was Addie (@insertlovelyperson) who said Max would listen to country music where women murder their cheating or abusive husbands. That tracks to me. Maybe it's the use of Alma Cogan's version of 'Fly Me to the Moon' in the game, but I also tend to associate him with crooner type singers of the 40's and 50's (Frank Sinatra, Perry Como, Dean Martin, etc), which is what I said he'd choose for karaoke. And because of this fanart I have no choice but to HC him as a major Ariana Grande fan, he's probably the one who chose the music for the drive to camp. So. Max has range.

Abi is the K-Pop/J-Pop stan to me but I know so little about that music beyond the crossover bands like BTS that I can't speak to it a whole lot. I think she'd also like some emo, pop-punk and moodier alt/pop. Avril Lavigne, Paramore, Melanie Martinez, Florence and the Machine, Metric, Lorde, Halsey, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Billie Eilish, Phoebe Bridgers/boygenius, etc. I feel like she's really into female fronted bands for some reason.

Jacob likes pretty much whatever is on the radio. He's a top 40 guy and has no shame about his enjoyment of Ed Sheeran and Justin Beiber, or about ugly crying to Taylor Swift and Coldplay. He rarely listens closely to the actual lyrics (and often gets them humorously wrong), he just goes on vibes. He discovers half the music he listens to via TikTok (not that there's anything wrong with that).

Emma is a theater kid through and through and loves broadway musicals. She goes through phases with each popular one. She's had a Waitress phase, a Mamma Mia phase, a Wicked phase, and a Hamilton phase, of course, and now she's into Mean Girls, Heathers, and Hadestown. Beyond that, I think she'd be a dedicated Swiftie, big Adele fan, and a lover of Britney Spears's entire body of work from the 90's through today.

Nick probably listens to stoner bro music. Like jam bands and psychedelic rock and stuff. He probably likes Dave Matthews Band and the Grateful Dead/Dark Star Orchestra, Sublime, Widespread Panic, Tame Impala, and O.A.R. Googling jam bands to remind myself which ones exist led me to the knowledge that there's an Australian psychedelic rock band called King Gizzard & the Lizard Wizard and that name is so bonkers that I've decided without listening to more than a few bars that it has to be Nick's favorite band.

Ryan is a little bit emo and a little bit goth and a little bit old school punk. He needs music that's loud and moody to help sort out his feelings about life and drown out all the excess noise inside his head. He's into metal, the harder side of emo/screamo, goth rock, hard rock, punk, and post-punk. He definitely listens to Nightwish, GOJIRA, Mastodon, Lacuna Coil, Linkin Park, Rage Against the Machine, Bauhaus, Joy Division, Nine Inch Nails, Deftones, Thursday, Alkaline Trio, My Chemical Romance, AFI, Bad Religion, Black Flag, Minor Threat, The Misfits, Ramones, etc. He doesn't hate more accessible pop and rock music, but the closest he gets to choosing it for himself is probably something like The Cure or The Smashing Pumpkins or Depeche Mode, maybe some of the creepier Weeknd songs and Muse tracks too heavy to go on the Twilight soundtracks. He and Abi listen to Babymetal together.

Kaitlyn classic rock and 90's alternative. This girl likes the Stones more than the Beatles, though she'll listen to both. Led Zeppelin, Joan Jett, Pink Floyd, The Doors, Black Sabbath, the occasional hair band. She especially loves the 90's girl rockers like Alanis Morisette, Garbage, Hole, Veruca Salt, and No Doubt (Kaitlyn can't believe Gwen Stefani is married to pop-country dork Blake Shelton who sings that song about being your honey bee, because Gwen used to be so cool [I'm definitely not projecting]). I feel like she'd also love Bikini Kill and Sleater Kinney, Le Tigre, and The Donnas.

Dylan is the Music Guy ™ (and my personal bias/url namesake), so I've admittedly thought about his musical tastes more than most of the others'. The official Quarry website mentions his 'deep musical knowledge' and I imagine he has pretty broad views on what constitutes good music. He's got kind of a vintage vibe to him, maybe it's the reproduction band shirt from 1988, or the fact that he's into analog technology, or both, but I've noticed he's often depicted playing Queen or Bowie or something of that era in fics, which I think is realistic. This kid goes to the used record store and just buys whatever looks cool.

Fun Fact: According to the datamine, the chapters originally had literary or musical quotes at the beginning of each, and Chapter 5: White Noise (the radio hut chapter) was originally headed by the opening lyrics from Queen's 'Radio Ga Ga':

He's also the only character we see play music in canon, so we know he likes... songs from random compilation albums with inexpensive royalties. XD Just kidding, but these are the diegetic (in-universe) songs we get to hear from Dylan's playlist at the bonfire party:

All pop music of varying subtypes, so we know he appreciates a well-crafted pop song. I honestly am a fan of all of these. I think Dylan genuinely listens to everything but he seems like the type to especially like alt and indie pop, classic rock, garage rock, a bit of the more melodic side of punk, emo, and pop-punk, new wave, synth pop, electronic, and a little bit of hip hop that’s sufficiently nerdy white boy friendly (probably Beastie Boys, Run the Jewels, Post Malone, emo rap like Blackbear, etc). I also tend to gravitate towards early-mid aughts indie for him, like MGMT, Arctic Monkeys, The Strokes, OK Go, LCD Soundsystem, etc. Just seems to match his vibe. I think he'd really like BØRNS, Hozier, COIN, Mitski, and K.Flay and probably have a fair amount of overlap with Ryan's more melodic picks (MCR, Muse, The Cure, etc). Dylan probably hates Morrissey but begrudgingly loves The Smiths and definitely cranks up The Killers in his car. He’s also listening to bands right now that you’ve never heard of but will be huge in a couple years. He can probably tell you the difference between subgenres like chillwave, dream pop, and shoegaze but don’t ask me about it because I have no fucking clue.

Since we’re on the subject, here’s my absurdly long and ever-growing Rylan/Radioheads playlist because I have a problem.

And my Sweet Summer Jams playlist, that’s just a bunch of random songs I think would be clean enough to play at a summer camp as long as the kids/your boss don’t ask too many questions.

[happilychee]

songs I associate with fairy tail characters but it gets more and more random pt.2

zeref dragneel -> fairytale by alexander rybak

LISTEN I KNOW THIS ONE IS BASIC. but sometimes basic is best. zeref loves mavis and ultimately it's what kills both of them :,))

sting eucliffe -> livin' la vida loca

yes I'm including sting again bc he's babygirl. he so flirts with guys at the bar and drives them crazy. he stops by an inn during a mission and becomes the life of the party with his sweet charm. ironically, if you flirt back with the blonde and you really mean it, he'll turn to putty in your hands.

erza scarlet -> I am not a woman, I'm a god by halsey

erza is so. so. she's this song because everyone else deifies her. "I am not a martyr, I'm a problem. I am not a legend, I'm a fraud." erza isn't perfect, but she's aware of her reputation and that makes her act a certain way. she doesn't feel as free to express herself, and the amount of praise she gets for her fighting prowess often makes her feel like a soldier.

lucy heartfilia -> akasaka sad by rina sawayama

another lucy one, as a treat. "cuz I'm a sucker, sucker, so I suffer. akasaka sad, just like my father." specifically about lucy's complicated relationship with her parents (mostly her dad). there's so much distance and time between them, but she can never fully recover from the effects her childhood has on her. part of her will always be a sad, crying little girl in the corner of the library, hiding from her father.

alzack connell -> disko boy by shantel

specifically when he's pining after bisca. bisca is outgoing and fun and friendly and she loves to dance. alzack is shyer and prefers quieter, more personal activities like reading or drawing. he's never liked having the spotlight on him, but the way bisca lights up when he asks her to dance makes the embarrassment fade away, replaced by fuzzy warmth.

gray fullbuster -> dodomu by kalush (feat. skofka)

gray is soooooo ukrainian to me. he would shred on the dance floor doing gopak. also dodomu is about never forgetting where home is, and gray never forgets about ur, lyon, or deliora. even though fairy tail is his family and his home, he always remembers and honors where he came from by making traditional dishes and wearing traditional clothing. gray in a vyshyvanka and sharovary??? on the floor rn.

jenny realight -> bijin by chanmina

it just. fits. u can't expect jenny as a model to not have thoughts on how women are treated because of their looks. she will scream the last lines of bijin because it's cathartic.

lisanna strauss -> maggots by ashnikko

I think lisanna has a lot of pent up rage. she's had her life and identity reinvented so many times, she cannot be normal. she usually lets her anger out during missions with juvia and gajeel and lily or during sparring matches with mira (elfman refuses to fight her, understandably.) still, if you piss lisanna off, she will verbally tear you a new one. you didn't know such horrible words existed until lisanna cursed you out with them.

laxus dreyar -> kotik by alexander rybak

yes, another alexander rybak song. this one only makes sense if u put it in the perspective of laxus searching for an exceed. then it's hilarious.

[bloodgulchblog]

Have you seen that YouTube video where some guy reads every Halo novel back to back and then reviews them? If so what did you think

The Brian David Gilbert one? Oh yeah, all my friends showed me it when it came out. (It was honestly kind of cute seeing how many people thought of me immediately.)

Rewatching it to refresh myself because it's been a couple years and a full-novel reread for me since the last time...

High fiving BDG because the Master Chief parts of The Flood were definitely the most boring parts.

He didn't have anything to say about First Strike which I think is a shame because I think it's better than The Fall of Reach and actually has A Theme I Find Interesting.

Rightful recognition of Contact Harvest as pretty damn good.

Rightful recognition of the Forerunner Trilogy as dense oldschool-style SF with deep worldbuilding. (Also the San'Shyuum thing.)

I disagree with him about, and have significant problems with, Kilo Five. He is correct that Kilo Five actually delves into some of the dark places in Halo in a way it really needed, and I would even say that its writing is extremely engaging by Halo novel standards. However, while he does notice the obvious parallels between what ONI is doing post-war and the kind of shit the CIA has pulled again and again irl, I think he misses some of the subtext I see where it feels like it justifies some shit a liiiiittle too much if you know the author's irl politics re: the military. He also doesn't seem to notice the character assassinations (particularly of Catherine Halsey) that I and a lot of other fans see/object to in those books. I kind of gaze into the middle distance with a haunted expression at the suggestion that these are the ones to read if you don't touch any of the others just because they are, ironically, so heavy-handed and feel like they treat certain kinds of evil as inevitable in a way that actually feels way worse to me than the excuse plot offered by the earlier/lighter Halo novels. (But idk, that's me? Nobody is committing a crime if they disagree with my frenzied insane person red string diagrams about Kilo Five.)

I'd swap Pariah for Dirt in the Evolutions anthology if it were me, but I think these are solid standouts.

Broken Circle is neat but really nonessential he's not wrong.

A one-sentence review of New Blood is probably not enough space to get into how fucked up the Spartan-IV program is, but yeah. New Blood is fun if you don't find Buck's first person narration annoying. (It comes and goes for me in that one.)

BDG you're an absolute sweetheart, I think Hunters in the Dark is kind of goofy in a way I cannot in good conscience ignore if I'm gonna review it. But it really really is so much fun and I love that one a lot anyway. The "it's like Halo 3... 2" observation is solid.

High fiving him again because I also found Last Light disappointing. And it is also a me problem.

Fractures!

Hell yeah these are all good pulls from Fractures, I would say Shadow of Intent is the pick of the litter in that anthology for me. Interesting that as a Kilo Five enjoyer he didn't single out Rossbach's World, which is the last we've heard about Osman and Black Box. (Also, that one is good.) I think Oasis is worth an honorable mention because I'm an Envoy stan, and the Forerunner stories are interesting but I wouldn't go for them if you don't already have a healthy interest in the trilogy.

This tangent is so fucking funny now that we know more things:

Oh BDG, oh buddy, it's really not for the people like you and me huh. (Disclaimer: I have no idea if BDG likes the Halo tv show or not and I have no desire to dig up evidence about it.)

Also, while you're here, this is the bloodgulchblog origin story:

Smoke and Shadow is fun so it's a little sad that when he ends that sentence with "whatever," I can't actually say he's wrong to. (Sorry Rion your part of the lore just.... hasn't... touched anything that touches anything else anymore.)

ENVOY IS GOOD AND EVERYONE SHOULD CARE ABOUT IT okay okay I'm cool I'm normal, anyway. Envoy is the Halo novel that restored my faith in reading Halo novels and reminded me that authors can care and know how to do nuanced, interesting themes in this space. It's great. Everyone in this book has war refugee trauma (except the Spartans which have Spartan trauma) and that's incredible to me. Please care about Envoy if you have spare room in your heart for Halo side characters.

I am cheered to see someone indifferent to the Veta Lopis stories, but I still feel petty for feeling it.

I don't have a lot to say about Legacy of Onyx here but it's always so fun seeing someone else suffer and care.

Bad Blood, the Blood is Bad now is a fun joke but lol yeah. It does have this very vital moment where Chief and Arbiter talk, though. For the first and only time in years.

PROPS FOR NOTICING THE YA NOVELS they're actually pretty nice.

"The Master Chief is the protagonist and boy does he shoot some people" is most of how I feel about Silent Storm and Oblivion too, I know they have their fans but Troy Denning's Chief books don't do much for me personally.

Renegades hadn't had its followup Point of Light yet but yeah, Spark stuff is interesting.

I had to remember that oh yeah, there are multiple books now that didn't exist when this was made. I wonder if he read them?

OKAY I THINK THAT'S ALL I HAD TO SAY as always if y'all want specific book opinions, I might have a tag for them. Or just yell in my ask box, I'm sure I can scrounge up some thoughts.

[stitchlingbelle]

Watching Halo, episode 1

Things I Know About Halo:

The Master Chief is a badass supersoldier who Doesn't Take Off His Helmet.* (I thought it had turned out he was a woman and the fan base rioted but apparently I mixed him up with Samus Aran?) There's a couple AI people, Roland the orange dude and Cortana the hot chick. There's a guy named Arbiter, I think he's an alien? Aliens destroy a lot of planets. There's some sort of mystical Old Ones leftover tech? (Is that the Halo part?) Names I have heard: Miranda Keyes, Dr. Halsey, Makee, Thomas Lasky, Chyler Silva**

That established, let's give this thing a go!

Nice opening scene. The costuming and set design are good, definitely have that Star Wars-esque vibe but are doing some of their own specific things that ground the world. The characters definitely gave you that lived-in-universe feel of established relationships and community right away. (Also I'm delighted by their use of Korean and their made-up alien language. Again, nice worldbuilding.) I am, however, confused. There's also an entire rebelling against the galactic empire thing going on? No one told me this. How do these people find the time with all the aliens?

Oh shit, THEY DON'T KNOW ABOUT THE ALIENS. Oh noooo.

The violence is really well done. The explosion plus blood splatter shot was great. Good use of camera work to minimize the more difficult to pull off FX shots while still getting the brutality across. The helmet-cam shots are a good storytelling choice while also being a fun nod to the games. I do not envy the stunt people fighting in these suits, though. They made them look powerful. They did not make them look dexterous, graceful or effectively designed for hand-to-hand combat.

Noooo they killed the little kid! ...and everybody else. Man, I liked those guys. Poor Kwan. (Is she in the games? Is she this ineffective? She was like, I'm going to help! and then just... didn't.) And then the Spartans just... walk off?

DO NOT TOUCH THE WEIRD ALIEN TECH. You're a Master Chief! I have it on good authority that keeping people from touching things they shouldn't is a major part of your job! Set a good example for your troops! Also, check your six.

It's Dr. Halsey! Mad scientist alert, this woman does NOT seem to adhere to ethical guidelines. Nice lab coat. I don't trust you. Why do you have a person in a pod? (Why do you have them right where your boss can see them if they're not supposed to exist?) Who's Miranda Keyes and why do you have beef with her? Departmental rivalry?

Wow, Miranda is a lot younger than I expected. Also, that was terrible. Take care of the girl, butter her up, THEN ask her for shit. And do it in person, the hologram thing was weird and off-putting. Not sure that Kwan thought this through-- there's a happy medium between agreeing to be their propaganda mouthpiece and openly threatening to lie and say they caused the massacre, sweetie.

Alien homeworld (or homebase, idk)-- very cool design, good effects-- why is there a human here? Oh, THIS is Makee? What is her deal? Great costuming.

HALSEY IS MIRANDA'S MOM??? Wtf. Also I like Miranda, I don't think she knows what she's doing outside of her (own) lab but it sounds like her heart's in the right place. Great parting shot at dad, but also, maybe that's why your parents worked (for however long. Are they still together or not?)

Great scene with Kwan and Master Chief over the meal. Humanize him with a joke and then WHAM, dead mom story. I like how they're not letting you assume that Madrigal's people were just wrong about the Spartans. Nope, straight up, this guy commits atrocities because he never questions his orders. (She implied that she was there? How did that part go down?) Fortunately teenagers question everything, especially orders! Just in time to make you question this one...

From here on out it's action action action, with a lot of quick character bits mixed in (Halsey and Captain Keyes exchanging looks, the Spartans all listening to Halsey above their orders, high command doesn't trust their own creations-- how many different ways of monitoring their own ships do they have? This is taking surveillance state to a whole new level.)

YAY for Kwan getting a useful moment! If human strength does not avail, use guns tools, that's what we invented them for. No, Kwan, this man does not have a plan. I'm kinda sad the alien artifact activated, it would have been entertaining to watch the other Spartans get involved. (John: "This is our new pet. No, we will not be handing her over to be executed. Yes, she hates us all for very specific valid personal reasons. Roll with it.") Aaaand off they go, escaping to where? Not sure they know and I, with approximately 1% knowledge of this universe, certainly do not.

Finally, hopping back to address the One True Issue that divides the fandom: the helmet scene. It depends on how much the Never Remove the Helmet thing is an irl game artistic choice vs an in-universe character choice. If it's not an actual THING for John-117 himself, then I don't have any problem with it. Different mediums and all that. If it's like the Mandalorian thing, then yeah, it felt a little rushed, but still a necessary moment for humanizing him and building trust ASAP with a hostile teenage girl with a gun.

In conclusion: this was much better than I was expecting! I really enjoyed it and will probably watch the rest of the season while I bake today. And honestly it's been so long since I watched scifi on TV that it was sort of nostalgic? I was just ridiculously pleased by things like establishing shots of Reach and futuristic teenager haircuts.

Thanks so much to ATBNL and @sarnakhwritesthings for talking me into this!

*Has anyone done a 'John-117 is a Mandalorian' crossover yet? Someone definitely has, right?

**The last two do not appear in the TV show and also one is dead, except they're actually alive and married because @authortobenamedlater is in charge here.

[authortobenamedlater]

E2 deep dive, once again under a cut to be extra careful of spoilers.

Where is Dr. Halsey, the world wonders?

She’s in an oddly comfortable and well-lit place to hold a war criminal, playing a game with what turns out to be a flash clone. Maybe of herself? Young Halsey had red hair and brown eyes? Well, I always knew that blond hair wasn’t growing out of her head. She keeps asking the flash clone about “the man” but the clone dies before she can answer. One gets the feeling this has happened before.

Riz still has lingering pain from taking a plasma grenade that would have killed a mere mortal. Understandable, even if Spartans heal and recover at lightning speed. Interesting bit of info from Kai that the emotion regulator acts as pain relief, since physical and emotional pain are processed in the same region of the brain. Yet Riz would rather have “a bullet in [her]” than put the pellet back in. She’d rather feel pain than feel nothing, we discover as she struts away in her tank top and leather pants.

Jumping ahead a bit, but since we are talking about Riz, who’s this Louis guy? I don’t remember reading about him in the admittedly very few books I read. He and Riz are tight, though. Maybe a former couple? And who IS that Danilo guy Louis takes Riz to see? A massage therapist? Psychic? What’s with this “your life is yours now” line? Foreshadowing? It’s a little weird.

I know I’ve been beating the “John is a broody introvert” drum for like two years, but WOW is he earning that reputation this season. He keeps talking about Makee, and she’s part of his troubles, but the other part is Cortana. He’s in denial about how not OK he is without her.

Kai, of course, knows something is up as she and John stare at a board showing the status of all Spartan teams. A status board that is not computerized. Well, Fenway Park will probably still have a manually operated scoreboard in 500 years, so I guess FLEETCOM can too.

Back to the matter at hand. Kai knows John is hurting. She tells him “We’re more than just—“ More than just WHAT? Let her finish, John you emotionally stunted dunderhead! Nope, you’re too busy fixating on Cobalt, for whom your concern is endearing if not a little inordinate.

There seems to be some ongoing…I don’t know if tension is the right word, but something between John and Kai over Kai shooting Makee.

About the status board. We see at least five teams: Silver, Gold, Cobalt, Omega, and Sigma. Blue Team is conspicuously absent, but if they got slipped in like this there would be pitchforks and torches outside Paramount HQ. I will use this to feed my headcanon that Blue Team is the Spartans’ SEAL Team Six and officially does not exist.

Maybe this is nothing, but silver, gold, and cobalt are all metals in addition to colors. Does this timeline use metals instead of colors to identify Spartan teams? Doesn’t explain Omega and Sigma, though.

After watching who knows how many flash clones keel over in front of her, Halsey finds out Ackerson is the “nice man” sending them in and he’s the one holding her prisoner in what turns out to be a holodeck of some sort. He doesn’t outright say the clones are of Halsey, but his “any resemblance is purely coincidental” line smells like BS to me. Halsey gets the award for most flash-cloned human in history, probably.

At any rate, Ackerson and Halsey know each other, a departure from First Strike and Ghosts of Onyx, but their rivalry will be even better face to face. Ackerson’s agenda, whatever it is, most intriguingly to me involves keeping Halsey alive. She was sentenced to an Article 72 at the end of S1 and in the last episode she’s seen leaving Reach. So how did she get back here, and into basically the Pentagon with nobody seeing her? Why does Ackerson need her alive?

Laera is not having any of Soren’s crew’s shenanigans and I don’t think this will end well for them. She hasn’t survived however many years married to Soren-066 by being a dummy. Kwan is still hiding out in that cave and running from her indentured servitude. Are we gonna get an explanation of this or…? Again, do Soren and Laera know she’s here and Kessler is going to see her?

I’m SORRY but the John/Kai implications when Ackerson is talking to Kai? “I know how long you’ve been together” “I understand what he sees in you.” WTF, buddy? I know he’s using this to try to get to Kai, but if he didn’t think there was something to it, he wouldn’t bother. Kai doesn’t refute any of it, either.

More evidence of Ackerson’s agenda comes when he talks with Cortana, who in addition to getting a makeover is cloistered in a holotank and stuck running simulations. Presumably about the Covenant hitting Reach. I’ll speculate that Ackerson is purposely keeping her separate from John because together they might dismantle whatever his plan is. He’s kept her from accessing “external systems” even though she says they might improve her simulation’s accuracy. Basically, he needs to keep her contained.

Cortana’s “you won’t visit again, according to the simulations” line. Is she predicting Ackerson will die on Reach? He survives to the Battle of Earth (Halo 2) in game canon. We also see him with Kai in the trailers and I’m presuming they’re on Onyx. Does he die on Onyx? Or is this not related to him dying at all?

John inadvertently crashing the Perez family dinner is great. The grandmother’s “You’re very large” observation is 🤣 The reference to the “Spartan Attack” game gives us a look at the wider universe. We have Call of Duty and other such games, why wouldn’t this world have something similar? I’m also all for Silver Team going around the galaxy picking up honorary Spartans. John doesn’t realize that’s what he’s doing but he is 😂

They gave Carter’s famous “the Covenant’s on Reach” line to John, nice touch.

Lastly, Makee is somehow alive. I like it less than my headcanon of her Halo 5 Cortana gambit, but I’ll allow it. Covenant must have some serious medical tech, which given how advanced they are vs. humans, could track. The Makee reveal doesn’t surprise me. I said right after S1 that she was too good a character to just be gone. It does, however, feel a little cheap to have her walking around like nothing happened. I seem to be one of the few who actually liked her and thought she was a good foil for John (The Scene notwithstanding), so I’m interested in seeing where this ends up.

Still no sight or mention of Miranda, but Olive Gray is listed in the credits. This means we HAVE to see Miranda at some point since there are union rules about this. Once upon a time the rule was anyone appearing in at least 8/22 episodes had to be credited with the main cast (Babylon 5 fans will make the connection that Warren Keffer appeared in exactly eight episodes 😆), but I don’t know what that looks like now. Anyway, I have some theories, but I’ll save that for later in the week because this show makes me chatty.

[empresskadia]

Alright m’dears, I’ve finished Halo: Fall of Reach and officially started Halo: Silent Strike, so prepare for spoilers.

Spoilers ahead

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First, had no idea Silent Strike was Fred’s point of view, I’m kicking my feet, I’m so excited. I’m only 2 chapters in and Fred’s so precious, he’s just a nervous big little guy that will get the job done. And Kelly, I swear she’s always ready to throw hands, 10/10.

Now, for Fall of Reach, buckle up, it’s a ride.

I won’t lie, it took me a good 4-5 days to read, I had a hard time getting into it. It was good, I loved the development of lore but it wasn’t keeping me on the edge of my seat till the end. Halsey was such an interesting character to read and seeing the way Cortana was later questioning the things her creator did was fascinating. Especially with the Spartan program, like it’s messed up but it did what Halsey said it was going to do. I love the way it explored moral wrong decisions vs the choice that had to be made. Halsey cares for her Spartans but they were made to die for humanity, so does that make her a monster? Or someone with a duty to complete? I can’t remember who said it in the book but they said something among the lines “someone who didn’t care for them, could’ve been in charge of the project instead of you.” I have thoughts about Halsey that go back and forth.

Sam’s death was sad, like I’m still upset about it. I understand why they killed him off but man, come on. The fact that John couldn’t look back or else he would’ve stayed to die with Sam made me close the book and let out a long sigh, I was so sad for them. But also a huge character development for John and Kelly, I never see anyone talking about Kelly’s character development after this. Personally, I feel like this is why Kelly’s always the first to volunteer, why she’s always thinking so fast and reacting before she fully thinks through some of her actions. I will revise this once I finish Halo: Ghosts of Onyx.

The Keyes loop was interesting and smart as hell but after that I didn’t really care, I loved Keyes in the game and the beginning of the book, but I found him a little boring later. Like where’s Miranda? What about Halsey and Keyes’ love affair? The drama? The tea? Where is it? Like seriously, they got a kid together and nothing, I thought that was weird.

AND LINDA’S DEAD??? I’m sorry, what? I know she lives but I wasn’t really ready for it, I had to close my book and walk away. I did infact shout and hit my coworker with the book in disbelief when it happened. And poor John thinks he’s the only one left, this man’s going through it. Also hate the way James died, that was awful.

I have more thoughts that I can’t remember and will do a reread later with annotations, so there will be a part two when I finish reading all the books. A year later lol.

Thanks for joining my Ted Talk.

[empty-blog-for-lurking]

Hii i know im late but either kuron allura or lance for the ask game thingy you rbed like two days ago?

(i know i always pick these three but idk i just rlly like hearing your thoughts on them<3)

Yay!! I am so sorry this is late. Also heads up this gets long and really salty-

Kuron-

favorite thing about them- He's trying so much! He is not great at it and he was very much Doomed since the beginning and he lost every agency he never had to begin but my god he was Trying! He did not know he was a clone but he felt he that he isnt him and Haggar was still scouting in his head but he was still trying until he couldnt, my god i love him!!

least favorite thing about them- Other than the fact he fucking died??? Kuron babygirl please dont go behind your teams back and dont yell at people, i know you are Going Through It™ but still

favorite line- "Like i am not like myself" HAHAHAHA HAHA FUCKING KILL ME!!! orz

brOTP- Lance and Kuron relationship that lives in my head and has a special place in my heart, also Veronica and Kuron because i am too deep in That au i will make it a thing if only just for that au

OTP- Do i have to answer this one? I guess Kur.ance if you twist my arm but to be honest i still prefer it as platonic or qpr. I am not much of a shipper and he has aroace swag to me. Oh, also Kuron/getting to live as his own person aka the best ship ever

nOTP- I guess Kuron/Keith and Kuron/Lotor? Mostly because my rather uhhh negative opinions on Keith and utter disappointment with Lotor's character and annoyance with both of their stans

random headcanon- i have already talked about him being fan of reading but did you know he also writes sometimes? It is not *great* and almost all of them are wips because he is never sure how to end a story but he is trying

unpopular opinion- if i see one more "Kuron the evil mean clone" i will scream.

Other than- ok. You know how much i love him right? He is one of my favourites and i like him more than Shiro, you know that right? I need you to know and remember that when i say the next part.

Entire clone arc was just not needed. Like you could have had the same effect with Shiro being mind controlled and i personally feel it would have been better. Clone arc just overcomplicated an already messy plot, added even more elements and questions that went absolutely nowhere, left behind a shit load of plot holes, became the final nail in the coffin of Shiro having any possible arc or development, and added a new sympathetic character just to kill him off as a plot device.

And the entire "You are my brother Shiro, i love you" who is it for? Literally who is it for? It would have been much more heart wrenching if it was mind controlled Shiro but we clearly established that is not him. That guy is not Shiro, and Keith as i recall had like 3 on screen conversations with him, 2 of them being strained and then Keith just fucks off with the Blades for most of 3 seasons. It is not for Kuron cause narrative is insistent that he is ~evil~ tool and later on they use his body to get Shiro back. So like, who is it for? Other than to show how sad and angsty and great and amazing writers pet Keith is of course but that is the whole goddamn show.

Like i love him and he did not deserve any of That and i am going to keep making up aus where he lives but the entire pointlessness of clone arc angers me so much

song i associate with them- Being a basic bitch here but Control by Halsey

favorite picture of them-

honestly every scene with him having long hair is just>>>

Allura-

favorite thing about them- Allura is just so genuinely kind, like she goes from one traumatic event after another and loses everything she had and she is rightfully angry and hurt and upset but she still remains kind and does everything so that others dont have to go through what she did and so she sacrifices what little she still had

least favorite thing about them- why is she fucking dead 🥺🥺? Girl wake up, also as much as i love her i am not forgiving her for entire using-Kuron's-body-to-bring-Shiro-back.

favorite line- "So how would you rate your bloodlust level from 1-5?" Let her be silly please!!!!

BrOTP- Allura and Shiro!! Also Allura and Hunk!!! And a number of interactions between Allura and Lance post s3 too!!

OTP- Free my girl hasnt she suffered enough?? (I do have soft spot for early season sha.llura moments and many allurnce moments)

nOTP- i guess l0tura and k@llura? For similar reasons as above

random headcanon- pre-Altea's destruction Allura was the most daredevil person ever. You could dare her to eat a ghost pepper and she'll do it just to prove she can

unpopular opinion- No longer saying 'the situation is much more nuanced' and 'she was traumatized, it is understandable' about the galra reverse racism bs and instead going she was 100% in the right actually. If this fandom can forgive Lotor for getting thousands of alteans murdered and straight up lying to the woman he says he loves about her own people and forgive Keith for abandoning his teammates and almost getting them all killed by claiming they were sad and traumatized than they can also forgive a black coded genocide survivor not liking a race that has been colonizing and murdering the entire universe for 10000 years including her own people

song i associate with them- Queen of Nothing by Crane Wives

favorite picture of them-

Look at her smile

Lance-

favorite thing about them- my boy?? My most favourite boy??? Literally everything?? Ok but seriously i have talked about this before but he is complex to me, i love there is so much duality in him he is someone who is kind would die for a person he met like 2 days ago and did not get along but also is just an absolute obnoxious cunt. He is an emotionally mature guy who understands his own feelings but also is just sooo douchey class clown. He wants to be a cool talented hero, he has the capacity to be that but he wants to be seen as one and in his attempts he ends up screwing himself over and comes out looking as anything but that<33!! And he is loyal and goofy and lovable i love him

least favorite thing about them- i would not have liked this fucker if i met irl specifically s1-s2 him at all. Also the fact they did not even give him an arc like why would you do this to him. Also his fanbase, i cant tolerate 70% of his fanbase and the fact that i still love him is a testimony of my love for him itself given i have hated characters and left fandoms for far less

favorite line- "You ever notice how far the planets are from each other, Coran?" Why did they have the goofball say shit like this if he was meant to be just a goofball

brOTP- Everyone <3, he deserves more friends but mostly Hunk, Kuron, and Allura

OTP- i like most Lance ships actually, though there is a specific han.ce au i have in my head that i adore

nOTP- *sighs* kl4nce. It's just sooo Everywhere, i go to Lance's tag and it is all this ship, nearly every s8 fix-it thinkpiece i have seen moans about how Lance was reduced to Allura's bf only to reduce him to Keith's bf and all of them yell about how the only problem with vld was that kl didnt become canon as if all the racism in the show doesnt even matter, and i am so goddamn tired of this like i cant even joke about Lance having terrible taste in men witjout someone bringing Keith up, and i dont hate the ship (and sometimes i even enjoy it) but i am done with this

Random headcanon- he can play violin pretty well! But he also hates playing violin

unpopular opinion- this is coming from someone who only likes and cares about Lance ships but i think he shouldnt have had a romance arc with anyone. I have said this before but he is so obsessed with keeping facades and the romance loverboy is one of those facades. At most he should have had like last one out of beach city episode from steven universe, where he gets a partner by just being himself instead of the flirty loverboy persona

song i associate with them- Top of the world by Greek fire

favorite picture of them-

He looks great when he is on the verge of death

[byunbhyunz]

Hold Me Down

Pairing: Doyoung/Reader

Genre: fluff, runningawayfromresponsibilities!Doyoung

Word count:

Inspiration: Halsey – Hold Me Down

Part 6 of the Badlands Series

Running away was never the kind of thing Doyoung would do. Not until his responsibilities started to eat him alive, and the only thing on his mind was a night free from anything and everything.

“But it’s the devil that’s tryna Hold me down, hold me down Sneaking out the back door, Make no sound”

Driving around after sunset wasn’t unusual for you. Most of the time you found yourself hopping into your car before you could think of anything else, and drove until you felt sleepy enough to finally go to bed.

Insomnia was a nasty little thing like that. It made falling asleep hard, sometimes you couldn’t even sleep for a day or two, and you would be like a zombie at work.

It only started after your brother’s death. A car crash with him dying and two other people severely injured. You drove around for the memory of him. You drove around, because he wanted to see the world and with your limited resources you could only discover the secret places of Seoul. You looked for tourist hotspots, famous historical places, hidden restaurants and cafes, really anything that caught your eye. Sometimes you would wander around on foot, but driving was the best. It silenced your mind and you could imagine your brother sitting on the passenger seat, joking around, eager to go to places.

Some places you knew by heart, visiting them again and again.

Tonight wasn’t any different. You planned to go to the City Wall, looking around the Namdaemun market, buying something delicious to eat, then go and look at the Namdaemun Gate while eating.

Soft wind caressed your face as you rolled the windows down and stopped at a red light. You half-heartedly listened to the song playing on the radio; an old ballad about love. The lyrics went unnoticed by your mind, but the soulful melody made your heart clench in pain. It made you remember your parents’ face after the burial of your brother. It was the only time you saw your father cry.

Movement caught your eye. On the pavement, a young man around your age was running. He had a desperate look on his face, like he was running from something, but you didn’t see anything chasing him. Maybe he had this funny way for exercising. Only, he wasn’t wearing clothes made for running and it seemed like he was running straight to your car.

With a lump settling in your throat, you considered rolling the windows back up, but decided against it. Sure, he wasn’t running to a stranger’s car at night. You still activated the safety lock. Who knows, Seoul was just like any city at night: with the wrong step you could be in danger.

And oh, boy, you were wrong! The guy ran right up to you, popping his head in above the window, and said:

“Please, take me somewhere, anywhere before they find out I ran away!”

Not even in the future could you explain what made you unlock the car, and let him climb in. Maybe it was the haunted look in his eyes or how he was breathing heavily.

So you let him get in just in time for the red light changing to green. He fastened the seat belt without you having to asking him, which was a bonus point in your mind. He looked unharmed and didn’t seem like he would attack you in any moment.

You let out the air stuck in your lungs, and cleared your throat.

“So, do you have anywhere specific in your mind?” you asked after a long silence.

You were still driving in the direction of the Namdaemun Gate, the stranger’s presence not diverting you from your original plans.

“It doesn’t matter where you take me. I just need time to clear my mind.” You glanced at him for a moment, and he was scrunching his nose as if he just remembered something important. “I can pay you for the gas and the trouble, of course. Or you can drop me off…”

You interrupted him with a small smile.

“Are you wearing comfortable shoes?”

“Yes. What for?”

“Walking. ‘Cause I might just know the perfect place to turn your mind off for a few hours, if that’s what you want.”

He hummed in agreement as you made a left turn. You still had time before you would get to the gate. He didn’t ask where you were going and you didn’t tell him.

Despite a stranger sitting in your passenger seat, you were still calm and collected, as if you were alone. Not to say you were not aware of him. God, you were more than aware. Every few minutes you looked at him from the corner of your eye. He had dark hair, strands of it falling onto his forehead. Combined with dark, alluring eyes and lips that seemed to be constantly pouting.

“May I?” He asked, and pointed at the radio. You nodded.

Another red light. Looking at your surroundings, you realized you were getting closer to your destination.

The man next to you kept switching between stations, until he found a song he was satisfied with. It was a Beatles song, one your mother listened to a lot when you were younger. You hummed with the singer, never really singing along.

“My name is Doyoung, by the way. I mean… I just realized how weird this situation is.” He sounded defeated and apologetic. You heard his clothes rubbing against the seat, probably moving around a little. “I can’t believe I jumped into a stranger’s car. I’m gonna be in so much trouble.”

“And I have let a stranger get into my car. Worst case scenario: you kill me and we’ll be on the morning news.”

He softly laughed at that. You took a moment to enjoy the sound.

“What’s your name?”

“You can call me Jude,” you told him. If he recognized your obvious lie with ‘Hey Jude’ still playing on the radio, he didn’t mention it. “There, we are not strangers anymore.”

Arriving to your destination, you made a little sound effect as you waved your hand around.

“And we are here.”

“Really? Namdaemun market?” He asked skeptically, and you shrugged your shoulders.

“And the gate. I originally planned to buy some food and drink, go to the gate and have a nice meal. It’s much more relaxing than you would think.”

Getting out of the car, Doyoung followed suit. You watched him pull a mask out from his pocket, putting it on carefully. He noticed the curious look you gave him.

“People might recognize me.”

“Are you an influencer or something?” Your question made him laugh, the sound rich and low, but a little muffled by the fabrics against his mouth.

“Or something.”

Your curiosity haven’t got fulfilled with his answer, but you didn’t pry further. Despite your words, you were just two strangers sharing some time of calmness together.

You still watched his face, trying to will your mind to remember where you could have seen him, but came up with nothing. The dark hair and eyes could belong to any citizen of Seoul, only his clear skin and clothes whispered something about wealth to you. Maybe he was a son of a politician. It would explain his words of getting into trouble for jumping into a stranger’s car in the middle of the night.

Despite the time, the Namdaemun market was buzzing with life. Bright lights lead your way through the stalls of vendors. It looked more like a shopping street rather than a market, but you enjoyed spending time here. Some vendors recognized you, because you usually bought your food from them. You really liked the stalls with the old vibe, where you could know your money was going for a family business rather than a big company.

You lead Doyoung around the market carefully, letting him look around and sometimes stop for window-shopping. He never asked to go here or there, but you always noticed when he stopped in his tracks behind you. Thinking about how he wanted to protect his identity even here, your eyes automatically scanned the crowd for people with recognition on their faces, but you didn’t find anything suspicious. No one here cared about who you were.

At last, you reached your favorite place. It was a little hole in the wall shop with the most delicious tteokbokki. And it was a plus that the old couple running the restaurant were kind people, who liked to give you free drinks, very insistent about not letting you pay for them. You usually left a big enough tip to make up for the drinks anyway.

“Ah, my sweet girl! Good to see you again! Do you want the usual?” Upon your nod, the owner turned to Doyoung. “And what about your partner? A simple, mild tteokbokki will do for you, too?”

“I would like it spicy. Thank you, mister!”

“I’ll make it immediately. My old Yoona will be with you in a moment. She just made a fresh batch of coffee, too.” He gave you a wink, then went to the back and called for his wife.

“It’s cozy.” Looking around, Doyoung hummed in satisfaction, then his attention was on the menu, written on a little black board above the counter. “But I don’t see any coffee mentioned. Only water, juices and soju.”

“I come here often,” you said it like it would explain the under-the-counter coffee. In reality, you couldn’t explain it well without sounding too cheesy.

The old couple, Yoona and Minsu became fond of you along your many visits here. Some nights, you wouldn’t even go to the City Wall, just sitting here and eating tteokbokki was enough to make your soul calm down. They were the first people you talked to about your true feelings regarding the loss of your brother. They listened with open hearts, while their handmade food filled you with warmth. They gave you coffee or chocolate milk and you brought them small gifts on occasions.

They liked to show you pictures of their grandchildren, keeping you up to date about their lives as well. You also enjoyed listening to their stories and little arguments that ended up in Minsu calling his wife “my fierce, old Yoona”.

Looking at them, you sometimes believed that true, lasting love existed.

“Oh, my! Our girl brought a boy with her!” And here she was. The starter of the couple’s arguments, Yoona. She liked to tease the customers, especially you, but her heart was made of gold, you were sure of it.

“Miss Yoona!” Her name left your lips in a whine, a pout already forming on your lips. Regardless, you took a seat at the counter, instead of at the tables. She had two mugs in her hands. His husband must have told her you didn’t come alone for once.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. You are young. When’s better time to live your life as you wish?” You shyly glanced at Doyoung as he sat down on another stool next to you. The mask helped to cover his expression, but you saw a light red tint painting the top of his ears.

“Are you going to the wall again? Or planning to stay here?” Your lack of response from earlier didn’t scare her, she was more than aware how she made you embarrassed for a moment. Maybe even enjoyed it a little, too. She sat the two mugs down in front of you, slipping milk and sugar along with it.

“We aren’t staying this time. Just grabbing your husband’s famous tteokbokki, then go for the wall.”

“Don’t tell him that. He will brag about it for days if he hears you calling it famous,” Yoona said in a hushed tone, leaning closer to you over the counter. Doyoung chuckled at that a little, putting two sugars and a little milk in his coffee. Watching him pull his mask down to drink made you wonder about his identity again, but your mind came up with nothing. Again. Maybe you should look him up on the internet later.

You drowned your coffee in milk with little to no sugar, and sighed contentedly after the first sip. It smelled earthy and tasted divine.

Yoona went to the back and returned with your orders. They were a more than generous amount and carefully packaged. You payed and thanked them for everything, leaving a tip like usual. Doyoung watched you with curious eyes, but haven’t said a word until you left.

“Are you relatives?”

“No. I told you, I come here often. They are always treating me nicely. Just some really kind people.”

It wasn’t a complete lie. But how could you tell someone you just met that an old couple from the market knew about the deepest parts of your heart? How could you tell him that you lost your brother and was struggling with grief, that Yoona and Minsu seemed to be the only people to understand your pain? You couldn’t, so you just kept it to yourself, not even talking about it with your parents. Sometimes, you visited them more than your own parents.

“So, we are really going to climb up the wall?” He pulled you out of your thoughts.

A half smile played on Doyoung’s lips before he hid it behind his mask. He was holding your tteokbokkis, insistent on carrying them after you payed for it.

“That’s the plan, kinda. Except it’s not open at night, so we can’t really climb it. If you’re not up for it, we can go back. I take you back whenever you want.”

“No. I like the idea.”

“Good.”

Walking in silence, you wandered around the thickening crowd. Nearing midnight, more vendors came out, also locals and tourists started to flood the streets. Fearing of getting lost in the sea of people, you quietly grabbed the seam of his jacket’s sleeve with two fingers. Doyoung halted for a moment, dark eyes meeting yours. You could see in them that he was smiling, then continued to navigate around.

Time after time you muttered a few words to take a turn here or there, and about an hour later you were out of the market.

The Namdaemun Gate could be seen from afar, but it almost got lost around the modern buildings, all of them larger than this piece of history. It was lit up with lights, towering beautifully and anciently.

Doyoung’s eyes widened a little, and you smiled to yourself. He could definitely understand now why you liked to come here.

“I’ve never been here at night. It looks…”

“Old?”

“Wonderful.”

You found a little place to sit down across the street from the gate. Once everything was in place, Doyoung handed you one of the tteokbokkis and chopsticks.

“What are you running from, Doyoung?” You broke the silence with your out of place question, fidgeting with your chopstick before taking the first bite. The rice cakes were soggy and the sauce was a little spicy, just how you liked it.

From the corner of your eyes, you saw him following your movements, chewing sounds filling the night. It was like a little bubble of comfort formed around you, only filled with small noises and the contentment from eating a delicious meal. You were almost too scared to pop it, but your curiosity took the best of you. You pried further, wanting to understand why a men like him would run away from his life even for a night without looking back. Maybe he had a heavy weight on his soul, just like you.

“You know, sometimes it’s easier to pour our heart out to a stranger than a friend. Talking about our problems… It might not solve it, but it helps. And we probably won’t meet again after tonight.”

“You said it yourself: we are not strangers anymore.”

“Then a one-night-companionship.”

“I don’t think there is a word like that.”

“There is now.”

The food disappeared fast. You didn’t even knew you were that hungry, until you started to eat. You let Doyoung think about your offer. You might have seemed a little pushy, but you had nothing to lose or gain from listening to his story and struggles.

Setting aside the leftovers from your meal, Doyoung sighed, and said:

“You might be right. But beforehand, you have to promise to never tell anyone about what I will tell you. I don’t want to see it back on news tabloids.”

“And I don’t want to break down your confidence, but I honestly have no idea who you are. I only know your first name and that you ran away from home.”

He smiled sadly at that. You noticed how he didn’t pull his mask back up.

“I’m an idol in a boy group. We are quite popular domestically and inernationally.”

An idol. Thinking that he was an influencer or the son of a politician seemed ridiculous now.

Doyoung was dissecting your expression, and when he didn’t find anything he disliked in it, he went on.

“We have a lot of members… and a really tight schedule. I have an older brother, but I was always taking care of him, so I like to do the same with my dongsaengs. They can be a handful, but they are good kids, really. Lately, it’s just getting too much. I have to show a perfect image to our fans, a good example for my dongsaengs, while barely sleeping. My life became monotonous, and it just peaked tonight. One of my members broke something precious to me, and I suddenly had this unnerving feeling that if I don’t get away from the dorm right away, I might… I don’t really know what I might have done. It was too overwhelming.”

“I understand it,” you said quietly, grief gripping your throat.

And you did. You knew that feeling so well, like the back of your hand. The urge that made you jump into your car, making you drive for hours on end because you were too scared to find out what would happen if you let that feeling get a steady hold of you. A panic attack would be the most plausible, but who knew what it would make you do.

Self-harm was never something you though about. Fortunately, you never slipped that far into the rabbit hole. But you were scared you might hurt others. You might lash out at your parents for never being there for you when your brother died, drowning in their own grief and never thinking about yours for a moment. So you coped. You coped with visiting places he might have gone to, you coped with imagining your brother next to you while you drove around Seoul.

“It’s too much.” Doyoung’s voice was low and defeated. When your eyes met, it was like you were looking in the mirror. The haunted and lost sparkle in them resonated with your soul, pulling at strings in your heart that no one could ever touched.

You wanted to hug him, but placing your hand over his was enough for now. Even that little gesture seemed far too intimate in the moment. You both let the other look into your own souls, see the pain gathering in there.

You took a deep breath, deciding to dive into your pain, trusting him and sharing your story with him.

“I had an older brother once, too. He was my world growing up. Then he died in a car accident and I was left alone with my feelings. My parents… they were so lost in grieving their dead son, that they forgot about their other kid. They never talk about it with me, and the pain gets unbearable sometimes. Making me want to run away… But I’m too much of a coward for that, so I just keep driving around, visiting places I find in the city, so I don’t have to be at home, alone or with my parents.”

Doyoung squeezed your hand with his own, then laced your fingers together. A silent sign of support.

“So trust me when I say: it gets better. You learn to cope with things with time. You learn to forgive and that overwhelming feeling will get lighter. I don’t know if it will ever disappear, but it will get better.”

You kept sitting there in silence, looking at the City Gate. You felt you two were like that piece of history over there. It stood stable and unmovable in the middle of this modern jungle. Time kept chipping away at its edges, but it couldn’t be broken just like that.

You were like that, too. Feelings tormented your soul, but you steeled yourself and kept going, not letting it make you any less of what you truly were.

The car ride back was peaceful. A weight have been lifted from both of your souls. And for once, you weren’t imagining your brother sitting in the passenger seat. Doyoung sat there, and he kept singing with the radio in the most ridiculous voices, making you laugh and happy. His dark eyes lost that haunted look from them. They sparkled with lightness in the city lights.

You felt like you could get used to it – driving around with him next to you.

You didn’t even notice when started to sing along. With windows rolled down, your voices flew with the wind in the soft summer night. At a red light, you watched Doyoung. His eyes crinkled at the edges, constantly smiling as he was heaving for air between two songs. You felt happy.

Parking near the place where he jumped into your car, you looked at him again. The uplift mood calmed down, but the air still held onto the lightness of it.

“Do you feel better?” You asked, wanting to make the night last a little longer.

“Yes. Thank you. For everything.”

Another silent moment passed. Doyoung haven’t moved to get out of the car. His eyebrows furrowed as he got lost in his thoughts before he finally voiced them.

“You know, you never told me your name. You told me to call you Jude, but I bet it was a lie.”

“For tonight, it was the truth.”

“It’s still not fair. You know my name, and you never really told me yours.”

“I’ll tell you, if we ever meet again, Doyoung,” you smiled softly at him, a hint of sadness washing over you. You knew that you probably will never meet him again.

Doyoung grabbed your hand, squeezed it once, twice before getting out of your car. The horizon started to turn orange with the sun coming up as you watched Doyoung walk away, his mask back on his face.

And so the night ended.

You wandered around Namdaemun market. It was earlier than usual, the sun only started to set.

You spent your day off walking around in the city, even visited your parents for lunch and suggested to them that you should go to your brother’s grave together for the anniversary of his death. Things were getting better, you dared to say. You still had bad days, where only driving around would help you, but escaping your depressing thoughts weren’t that easy.

For the last three years you always took this day off. It wasn’t a special day or anything, but you felt like you should. For three years you spent this day going anywhere but the Namdaemun market or the City Gate. You didn’t need a harsh reminder of that one particular night you spent in the company of Doyoung. That night you felt you were with someone who you understood on the deepest level and you missed that feeling. And you missed him. Which was weird because you only knew him for a night and never met him again. Day by day it seemed more likely to never see him again.

But this year, you gathered your strength and decided to go to the night market.

As more people started to crowd the streets, you went to Yoona and Minsu’s place for your usual fill of tteokbokki. You also found a nice teacup set at an antic shop on the other side of the city, which you wanted to gift to Yoona. It was packaged well and securely, so she couldn’t find out from one look what it was.

“My sweet girl! How good to see you again!” You smiled at the familiar words which you were greeted with upon your every visit. Yoona looked more tired than usually, but her eyes shined with warmth and strength.

You took a seat at the counter; it slowly became your spot at the restaurant. You already had a cup of warm tea placed in front of you, as if she was anticipating your visit already.

“I knew you would come. I told that boy to come back later, you might just be running late,” Yoona’s words made you frown. Your heart leaped into your throat at the possibilities of who she was thinking about. You swallowed back all your feelings, and tried to look nonchalant.

“What boy?”

“The one you came here with once,” she rewarded you with a look which said you should know about it better than her. “He keeps coming back every year, but you keep missing each other. Tragic, if you ask me. Not to stick my nose where it doesn’t belong, but you shouldn’t treat him like this. Leaving people hanging is not a nice thing to do!”

Time has stopped for a moment. You didn’t even notice the mug burning your fingers as you held it, you could only think about Yoona’s words.

The boy you came here with once… Doyoung. It only could be Doyoung. He was here. He came here every year, looking for you at the only place where he knew he might find you.

“I… I never knew he came back. I only met him that one time.” You tried to defend yourself, and Yoona’s expression softened, then a mischievous smile took over her features.

“It must be fate, then.”

“You never told me he kept coming back here.”

“Well, I thought you were trying to avoid him for some reasons. Young love can be unpredictable even for an old soul like me.”

Dismissing that anticipating feeling in your chest, you willed yourself to change the subject. Yoona almost cried while opening your gift, even called Minsu out for a moment, so he could admire it too. The little restaurant was busier than it used to be, so you could only exchange a few words with the old man before he had to return to the kitchen. Talking with them filled your soul to the fullest, yet you were missing something.

Knowing that Doyoung was at the Namdaemun market looking for you made you do silly things. Like gazing at the door every time it opened, hoping it was Doyoung arriving. You barely had any luck, but you still kept doing it. You told yourself you would only stay an hour, but you kept staying until you finally confessed to yourself: you wouldn’t leave until he would finally came back here.

After eating a plate of tteokbokki, you switched your tea with coffee. You were sipping the second cup already. There were fewer people, most of them went out to discover the market and Yoona went to the kitchen to help Minsu clean up a bit.

Someone came in again, and you looked at them for a second, then turned back to your coffee. Then back to the newcomer.

It was Doyoung. He had a mask on, but the same dark hair and eyes from three years ago greeted you like a wave of fresh air. You unknowingly held your breath, only exhaled when the corner of his eyes crinkled, indicating a smile. You returned it without thinking, slipping out of your seat.

Standing there awkwardly, Doyoung was the first one to move. He walked to you, pulling out a bouquet of pink camellias from behind his back. You felt your face heating up as he held out the flowers for you. The tip of his ears were red, too, you noticed.

“I’ve been waiting for you,” he said in a soothing tone, and you chuckled at his words. Yes, for three years, he was looking and waiting for you.

“I know,” you answered. You could see it in his eyes that he understood exactly what you were feeling. He was feeling it, too.

Your fingers brushed his when you took the bouquet, smelling the flowers. They were sweet, just as the gesture of giving them to you.

“I wanted to tell you; you were right. It got better. And also, you owe me your name.”

He pulled his mask down as you sat back to the counter and didn’t answer him immediately, Yoona brought out another cup of coffee for him, and smiled knowingly as she disappeared again.

You couldn’t stop smiling, and it seemed Doyoung felt the same.

“I told you to call me Jude once.” Hearing your answer a pout formed on his lips.

“And you also said that you will tell me your name if we meet again. And we did.” He drummed with his fingers on the wooden counter, eyes avoiding yours for a moment. “It would be weird to ask you on a date without knowing your name, wouldn’t it?”

You blushed at his words. Your heart fluttered dangerously in your chest. Gulping down a sip of coffee, your gaze left his eyes. He was still not looking at you as he waited for your reaction. You played with the shanks of the camellias as you muttered your name and looked back at him again.

His dark eyes finally locked on yours, shining with a warm light in them. He smiled as he placed his hand on yours.

“Hello, Y/N! I’m Doyoung, and I think I’m three years late with asking you to a second date.”

“Second?” You questioned him with furrowed eyebrows.

“Yes. Don’t tell me you don’t remember the first one. It would make things a little awkward.”

“Then remind me, please.”

“Well, I jumped into your car and you took me here. We ate tteokbokki and talked until dawn. I believe you stole my heart that night, but you refused to even tell me your name.”

He took away your breath with his easy confession. He said it so freely as if it was common knowledge. Maybe to him it was, since you both had three years to mull over your feelings.

“You will hold a grudge over it forever, huh?” You teased him.

“Maybe. But a smart woman once told me that time can solve a lot of things, so who knows?”

You laughed at his words, basking in the light atmosphere of a slowly budding love.

You felt happy as you ordered a second plate of tteokbokki, and officially started your second date with Doyoung.