#but this is good actually because now it might really get fixed across the board

[sorryimananti-romantic]

Ateez | The Type To

Hongjoong

toothless smiles. you'll never get enough

knows every little fact about you. it's all stored in his head

but can't always figure out your mood, where he needs your help

picks your clothes or accessories sometimes

lets you do the same

more of the dating-inside kind of guy, but makes the most of when you do go out

if he's busy, he'll acknowledge you with a smile and then go back to work and forget you're there

because he likes to focus on one thing at a time

and when he's not busy he's all yours

but when he is busy and you decide to play naughty, he will focus on the task ahead- you.

and make you regret (in the best way) interfering with his work

which has become your thing now

calls you his 'muse' and def makes you feel like one

esp with the way he kisses you and makes you feel like a puddle

he really doesn't stop his hands from going anywhere he pleases

fav place might be at your hip

or fingers in your hair- might take a liking to tug your hair back to make you look at him at times

which is when he'll give you the most sultry look and tell you exactly what the events following will ensue of

def the type to hold you against the wall and move across the room while you make out

laughs between kisses oh goodness-

teases the fck out of you and makes you a whimpering mess

spends alllll his energy on you but still takes care of you after

bites-

the type to make you watch yourself too- like if you can see him taking you in some reflective surface or a mirror, all the better

and then you won't believe the filth that'll come out of his mouth (tho you love it when he mumbles dirty little things in your ears)

also has his soft moments, which are so intimate that sometimes you feel overwhelmed with love

and he'll constantly assure you he's here, here with you, forever :')

does the most meaningful things for you- brings you your fav food, reforms your clothes or accessories for you, paints with you, lets you try doing something with his music samples, etc etc

he's your captain

Seonghwa

pass you subtle glances from across the room

hold your hand and lead the way whenever you're out

make you walk on the inside of the sidewalk

mother you in every way-- wiping your mouth with his sleeve, fix your hair, fix your clothes, fix you

scold you in the most loving tone possible

which makes you wonder if you're actually getting scolded because you start to get heart eyes

never make you feel insecure- it hurts him more than it hurts you

details. details in everything he says and does (flashbacks to his fav colour being 'glossy silver chrome' like who are you i don't know you-)

which means your dates are detailed asf. he'll have everything planned out and make sure you have the best time

but also love it when you take him out on impromptu dates

scans your face before he kisses you

forehead kisses. temple kisses. it's his thing

plays with you a lot (take your mind out of the gutter i'm talking about actual games like the board games or whatever)

but also plays with you a lot- *coughs*

tongue.

also his fingers are kinda long so-

will pick you up in the middle of your makeout session and take you somewhere more comfortable

goes hard, but it takes him a millisecond to turn soft

and he's the best softie ever.

he's gonna take his sweet time exploring every nook and cranny of your body, learning everything about you

learning what you like

and you'll most of the times feel like it's your first time all over again- that's def how he makes it feel like

tho he certainly spices things up every time

it's just he makes you feel so safe and loved

also i feel like you both bring out the playfulness in each other, in both romantic and platonic ways

he's such a romantic.

he's also capable of driving you insane with his facial expressions alone

takes care of you when you're tired, makes sure you're good, tucks you into bed, spoons you, lulls you to sleep :')

Yunho

okay hear me out-

he is literally your best friend

and i mean in the way best friends know each other inside out

and the way they know exactly how you're feeling by just glancing at you

so with yunho, you always feel safe. his constant vocal and physical reassurances keep you grounded at all times

so you wish to do something in return for him-

but he assures you that you, just like this, are enough

he's not hard to please in that way. he's not demanding but he's not making you feel like he's not interested in you either. he's got that perfect balance

the most comfortable presence out there is what i'm saying

(maybe this^ was my delulu thoughts ok now to the real shit-)

he's always looking at you to make sure you're okay, or there,

but sometimes, something turns him on and his eyes change

and he really, really can't hide when he's turned on. he starts picking at his lips while giving you the most sultry gaze

sometimes you pretend not to notice

which is when he becomes unexpectedly playful and teasing

he knows what his hands on your body do to you (turn you into jelly is what they do btw)

so he's going to give you a backhug and while he kisses your neck or ear, he's going to let his hands travel all over your body

or when sitting on his lap, he'll let them rest on your thighs- purposefully

and we all know what purpose those long fingers could serve

he's def the type who'll cuddle into you while lovemaking- like bury his face in your neck, in the crooks. you think that's soft? he can make it a hard moment too.

groans into your ears 100 % and that sound might be one of the hottest things you've heard

and when he mumbles things in your ears? his voice goes new levels of deep you never heard before.

kisses you like you'll break

also loves pinning you to surfaces

fully capable of manhandling you (lovingly, ofc)

likes experimenting a lot with you, figuring out what you like and what you don't like together

big spoon most of the times you bet

jokes around a lot with you too- he never makes you feel overwhelmed in any situation

but he is also fully capable of driving you insane at times *coughs*

best caretaker you know it

Yeosang

i'm having a vision- what starts as savage remarks thrown at each other turns into a challenge, turns into another different sort of challenge

we'll get there later

cafe dates. chocolates. you better be ready to satisfy his sweet tooth

you love complimenting him bc 9/10 times he's gonna respond with a shy smile that made you fall in love in the first place

he's usually teasing you bc that's his love language but is also the most genuine person you know

so whenever he compliments you or tells you how much he loves you, you know it's straight from the heart

holds your hand whenever he gets the chance

will kiss it too

shy kisses at first

until he gets turned on and his eyes change and the inner demon that we seen in halazia comes out oof

gentle kisses. demanding kisses. we-have-all-the-time-in-the-world kisses. i might be lacking in my vocabulary

hands cradling your face- that's what makes you weak

is pretty vocal and wants you to be vocal too when he does something new or even in routine

there's this switch in him- y'all be having a soft moment and his switch gets flipped and then he's just... banging. wild.

loves foreplay

might have a thing for placing his hand on your throat too i mean he has his moments

and he also lets you have your moments which is sth you love about him

i feel like he loves to drive you to the edge multiple times before he finally lets you have your way

which is hot asf

but is also so nervous about making sure you're okay, you're good with whatever he's doing

so he's gonna spoil you when he takes care of you, which might probably lead to a round two-

anyways time to touch some grass <3

San

this mf istg- *breathes*

okay he's such an eye candy do you think you'll be interested in anything else other than just staring at him 24/7 whenever you're with him-

let's not let these intrusive thoughts win and dive deeper :D

so yeah he is a nature admirer and when he takes you out, you do admire nature but you admire him more

esp the curves and edges of his face

and when he catches you, he gets shy. like actual shy

rewards you with a sweet kiss

and a good old hug

but sometimes, things get... heated instead

so he raises his eyebrow and goes sth like 'you done staring'?

and if you toss a sarcastic remark next (9.9/10 times you do), he'll just attack you

flirts with you in public

unintentional flirt most of the time

his kisses have a wide range spectrum. from being the most slow, gentle, i-might-break-you-if-i-hold-you-wrong kisses to hot, open-mouthed, i-am-going-to-break-you kisses (i cannot englishi-)

and he's really not shy in lovemaking. he knows what he's doing. he takes advantage of it

loves driving you to the edge too. will take so long to actually get to the real deal, just playing with you first and cornering you and driving you insane ugh

the type to pull you into his lap and make you straddle and ride him

tongue-

tbh i feel like it can get really filthy with him in the best way possible

but also, he's the softest when he's in the mood

and you love that he can switch

the type to shut you up with a kiss

also the type to hold you by your chin and have a staredown with you whenever you tease him

which just leads to other things-

hugs

lots and lots of hugs. hugs of every kind.

his laugh heals you :(

he'll always tell you he's there for you, he loves you, how imp you are to him :(

pocket sized hehe

Mingi

he's a princess so he deserves princess treatment. the end.

no but he's such an unfiltered personality i feel like in the sense that it just shows what he wants

you can see it in his eyes when he wants a hug, when he wants to leave some place, or when he wants to steal the last bite of your food-

also very good at reading you even if you argue that you're not that readable

to him you will be bc he pays attention to every little detail

the kind to throw his arm around you while you walk

bonus if it's winters and he wraps you in his coat

the type to tie a scarf around your neck and then pull you with it and give you a kiss

his kisses are the meaningful sort. you can tell by his kiss what mood he's in

like if he's slow and he sighs in between, he's probably feeling down. if he's gonna act naughty you'll know what he wants

which makes it easier for you to lead things

lets you lead most of the time too

unless he's feeling some type of way

and when he's feeling that type of way, you're in for a banger (pun intended maybe)

i feel like he's really good with his core strength even when dancing so uhh just go ahead and imagine

fingers. (getting shy at this point)

probably gives the best head

like can you imagine the tip of his nose brushing at the your most sensitive parts-

likes when you run your hands through his hair

likes to tug your hair even more

might have a marking kink like he'll like it when he can see what he's done to you

but he's also the most responsive and comfortable during intimacy

and can go on forever, makes you feel like you can go on forever with him

cuddles with you when you're done, cuddles long and good

will shower with you and 9 out of 10 times that means a second round-

softie. absolute softie at times ;-;

Wooyoung

you both love to drive each other insane. you'll fight a lot at most random things, end up laughing in the middle of an argument, tease tf out of each other

but at the end of the day there's no one you'd rather be with

he feeds you like his life depends on it

which means he'll make you food, he'll get you to try different things when you go out, and he just likes it when you're happy with food

takes care of you subconsciously- like wiping your mouth, fixing your clothes, rolling your sleeves when you're eating, etc- he doesn't do it on purpose, it's ingrained in him to take care of you

intentional flirt.

which means he makes you flushed with embarrassment in public

he knows how to rile you up, and oh, when you're riled up-

you know you'll go home all heated up which will def result in a hot makeout session

he's not shy to show you how much he likes it when you're making out so he's very vocal

and we all know about his degradation kink LMAO he loves it when you show him his place in the middle of making out

and you love it when he begs for you to do sth

but he's also very, very good at making you beg, oh, he'll push to to the edge and make you fucking cry before he gives you what you want

his hands everywhere on your body.

mumbles things in your ears, dirty things

and then bites you earlobe

you just love it when he breaks away in the middle of making out and pushes your hair back, all the while scanning your face as if making sure you're real before smiling the purest smile ever :(

and when he evil smiles? you know you're in for a ride quite literally

switches most of the time

satisfies you in ways you didn't know were possible

quite possibly plays a lot with you- might have a thing for tied wrists (his or yours, whatever you're feeling like)

keeps telling you how beautiful, how perfect you are, and when he says it? you never feel like he's lying. you start to believe it

boosts your confidence 10000x

honestly he has a contagious energy so you kinda sometimes turn into wooyoung too and he just 🧍

aftercare is a whole new level with him

hugs you to sleep <3

Jongho

he sings for you. what more do you want? :')

you'll have to hide apples from him tho LOL

being with him is very comfortable and... peaceful. like he brings out the calm in you

tho when he cracks a dad joke you start to reconsider-

but he's adorable

slaps your butt at the most random times

and then giggles before he runs away

gives you backhugs at the most random times too

likes to peck your cheeks while you're sitting in his lap watching sth with him

which sometimes makes you kiss him

usually starts slow but there's a certain sense of urgency behind that kiss sometimes

which makes it into a heated makeout session

stares into your soul when he breaks away to catch his breath

dry humping follows

likes seeing exactly what his actions make you feel like

shy at first but he's also confident asf

and he's... strong

it just drives you crazy when he pins you as he thrusts into you like there's no way you can break free from that

and why would you? ;)

has a thing for necks i've said it before i'll say it now

and he knows exactly how to please you

which means that when he's in the mood, he's gonna drive you to the edge multiple times before letting you have what you want

sometimes lets you do the same to him

he loves it when you're on top of him and ride him. perfect place for him to hold your butt and squeeze it

really good at aftercare, makes sure you're feeling good too

bear hugs after. cuddles

kisses you multiple times before settling down

sings you to sleep :( (i'll always end jongho imagines with this line)

[heaven-s-black-box]

Notes- They Teach you to Dance Furina & More

Return to File

Recovery date: April 3rd, 2024

Description: Your partner teaches you to dance. Includes Furina, Ganyu, Dainsleif, Zhongli, Traveler Twins

Notes: N/a

Back to directory

Furina

The reason for these headcanons, one of her teapot voice lines is her offering to teach you how to dance

She definitely forgets to instruct you at first, she just starts leading you in a dance as she hums a tune

If you have some dancing experience, that probably won’t be a problem, if you’ve never danced before…

She definitely takes it slow, she’s just been dancing for so long she forgets to explain

She will step on your toes just as much as you’ll step on her’s because of this

She will twirl you to teach you how to twirl her, once you’ve got that down she won’t twirl you anymore

She will also throw herself into a dip, if you let her drop she will pout and sulk

The best fix for this is to pull her up and into another waltz with a twirl

Once you’ve learned how to dance she expects you to lead, even if she initiates

Loves big dances, both in number of attendees and flourish of the dance

Overall 8/10 teacher and 10/10 dance partner

Ganyu

She can definitely dance, Cloud Retainer taught her, she just doesn’t dance often

Teaching wise I think she’s a great instructor, at least verbally

In the beginning she gets so fixed on explaining and watching your movements that she trips up

Please reassure her that you’re following okay, she’s not used to being in charge

You’ll definitely learn faster with her then Furina because in teaching you she’s also reminding herself

She won’t teach you anything fancy, but if you go and learn a twirl or dip she will break

You will have to initiate any dances, unless someone has told her she should dance in which case she will ask you

Also preference dancing alone and not in a large group, sweep her away to a balcony during a Qixing event and you can dance all you’d like

Preferes swaying to music over an actual waltz

In the end, 8/10 instructor and 10/10 dance partner

Dainsleif

He can dance, he was the captain of a royal guard, but it has been awhile

Seriously, you’re basically learning together

You also definitely have to ask him to teach you, Furina and Ganyu might offer but Dain won’t

Once you start dancing muscle memory kicks in and it sort of ends up like Furina teaching you

He can’t really explain what to do, so he kind of just drags you with him

By the time he figures out how to explain you’re halfway to figuring it out yourself

If he’s teaching you to dance before the fall of Khaenri’ah disregard everything before this, he is the best teacher on this list

Prior to the fall he will always initiate dances, if he’s attending and event and not on duty, after the fall you’ll have to initiate and he’ll be a bit reluctant

Chances are you aren’t at a formal event, so he sees no point in dancing, so if you want to dance you have to ask

Before the fall it is a point of honor to ask you to dance

Will always lead, another silly point of honor

Before the fall, 10s across the board, after the fall, 4/10 teacher and 9/10 dance partner

Zhongli

Can dance, not very fluidly and it is definitely a rusty skill now but he can

During his prime he was a good teacher, just a little stiff

Now he’s kind of like Dain, the muscle memory is there but very rusty

He will, however, ask Madam Ping to re-teach him how to dance so that he can teach you

So, you might step on each other's feet a few times but he will actually teach you

He prefers to initiate dances, like Dain it’s a point of pride, but he’s always happy when you do too

Will lead or follow your lead

Hu Tao has, on occasion, meddled to get him to ask you to dance

Like Ganyu he doesn’t really like big sweeping dances, he prefers being able to sway together to the music

Definitely a 9/10 teacher and partner only because he’s a bit stiff

Traveler

They can dance, definitely, they’re usually eachother’s partner

They’re also definitely smooth, you cannot convince me they wouldn't start stomping wars when they stepped on eachother’s feet

Both twins will ask you to dance, and if they ask you to dance they’ll lead– unless you ask to lead

I mentioned the twins are usually each others partner, it worked the same way between them– Lumine has been smacked in the face by Aether’s braid while twirling him and they’ve both definitely dropped each other in a dip on purpose

The twins don’t mind waltzes that travel, but they aren’t big fans of partner swapping dances

Aether likes dipping his partner, and Lumine likes twirling hers, but they both like being twirled

Sharing a rating, the twins are 10/10 teachers and 10/10 partners

[slycopersicum-in-disguise]

Mostly buddie and bucktommy thoughts, but some general fandom feels too

I am glad Buck is canonically bi.

I am very sad Eddie is not canonically gay.

I want Buck and Eddie to get together.

While things in TV can turn on a dime, it looks clear from the most recent episodes that they don't intend to have buddie be a canon relationship.

At the start of the season I was very enthusiastic about the character of Tommy being around long-term.

I am not feeling any chemistry between Buck and Tommy when they are in scenes together. This isn't just because of my buddie shipping goggles - as much as I disliked Buck and Taylor together, they did spark off each other. I am just not feeling it from the other BT.

I am really disappointed by the structure of the few scenes with Buck and Tommy that we did have. If Tommy had turned up in a slightly silly costume to the party and still had had to leave I would be finding it hard not to love him. If they had just switched the dinner date scene around and started with the daddy kink flirting and then had Tommy go beyond that to ask if Buck was actually OK after Bobby's coma, I would be thinking that with enough time we might see as much of a connection between them as we see between Buck and Eddie.

Depressingly, I don't think the writing teams are trying to drop us subtle hints that Buck/Tommy are inherently doomed, I think they are just fucking up. Which doesn't bode well for future scenes between Buck and Tommy being something I will enjoy.

While I want Buck and Eddie to get together and didn't think their previous LIs would have been good life partners for them, in the fandom there was a lot of deliberate misreading of scenes involving the women and a worrying level of hate directed towards the actresses. Yes, there were some justified callouts about the actions of some of the actresses. We should never, ever accept bigotry. But we all know we have seen actual full-on misogyny from many fans too.

I read 911 fandom posts on many platforms and I have seen this behaviour on Tumblr, Twitter, Reddit, Facebook, Discord, you name it. While we would love to think the people on whatever platform we don't use are the horrible ones, I see it across the board.

That deliberate misreading of scenes and cruelty towards real people is now spreading to both Eddie and Tommy, and their respective actors. Part of me wants to flippantly say "Diversity Win!" but racism and homophobia are wriggling their way into 911 fandom posts and we need to do better.

I am feeling gloomy about S8. I don't think a summer break is going to fix any of the issues I have with the show. If you love how things are going then I am happy for you! I'll probably still boost the gorgeous fanart and insightful metas that I often see. But this is a reminder to others, and to myself, that if a show is making us sad, we can just go watch something else. It's OK. We're OK.

[scenetocause]

no one asked for this but i was in the kitchen makin instant ramen and poleaxed by the thought of landoscar puppy play post-melbourne in the style of a fic i thought was gemjam's but now can't find where mark webber gave his then-protegee mitch evans a collar to help with homesickness anyway whatever have some fuckin words

edit: fuck's sake cassian obviously it was a collar and a kiss by zeraparker

mild warning for hopelessly undernegotiated kink

"Don't you ever get homesick?" Oscar could count the number of people he'd less like to be having this conversation with than Lando Norris on one hand and one of them's the bored immigration officer who had to tell him he'd not got his passport stamped right in Doha.

Lando snaps his gum, looking up to the ceiling like he's actually thinking about it. "No? Not really. I was sick of fucking Bali over Christmas, jesus and I don't want to go back to Dubai but like, home is everywhere innit?"

"No." Oscar closes his eyes, pinches the bridge of his nose. Obviously Lando doesn't experience this, he could literally drive to his parents' house on half a tank of fuel, straight out of the MTC car park. Straight from Oscar's flat, where for some reason he's letting Lando crash as though him seeing the post-Australia comedown is a good idea.

"Hmm." Hearing Lando think is always disturbing. "Well, what can I do about it?"

Oscar has to open his eyes again in disbelief. 'What do you mean do about it?"

Seeing Lando cocking his head on one side, like a dog, makes something painful sear across Oscar's temples. "You're sad, I want to fix it. Max always-"

"Don't tell me about that." He can't hear about Max Fewtrell right now. The guy haunting the garage all weekend was enough. Oscar doesn't need a reminder he's not Lando's first anything, needs to keep the thoughts about breaking up with his girlfriend so they can properly be a thing to himself.

"Well." Lando is literally sitting on his hands. "Then you have to tell me about it yourself."

Thing is, this is too much. It's not the kind of thing he should share with Lando. Lando who he just got team-ordered for, Lando who he needs to match the tyre management of, Lando who will sit there and smile angelically and get his fucking way on anything they ever diverge on about feedback.

Oscar's clenching his jaw so hard he can almost feel the ache where they took his wisdom teeth, though. Another thing he didn't know he'd really miss this much.

"You can't fucking laugh at me." Why's he said that, for fuck's sake? Lando laughs at everything, would probably do it at a funeral in his weird, stressed-out way when he doesn't know how to socially behave.

"Ok." Lando's eyes are very big and he's looked up from his phone. "I can order TimTams on Uber Eats?"

That's actually quite sweet. But not what Oscar needs right now.

"Just - stay here." Lando's fucking weird, he's probably into some of this shit himself. If not something freakier, lying around his Monaco flat in a gimp mask, suffocating himself or god-knows-what shit.

It doesn't take long to find the box. Oscar's consciously never accumulated too much stuff in this flat, like he might have to move out of it any time. Like everything might have to go in a suitcase because the contract review board said it's over, kiddo, go back down under and pretend you understand your dad's business enough to pay him back.

It's not got very much in. Oscar doesn't like to wear too much, when he's like this. Just a t-shirt and shorts or his boxers. He doesn't think he's ready for Lando to see him shirtless, like this, make his eyes crinkle up in glee at how much of Oscar he can touch.

It'd be better if Lando did it, if someone put it on for him but that's too complicated to ask for, so Oscar does it himself, mostly. Puts the soft shorts on, an old Prema shirt that's a little too tight to wear outdoors but feels comfy, soft, reassuring on his skin.

The ears are easy but the collar. He can't do that, himself. Can't give himself the ball, the well-chewed, if pristinely laundered, beanie toy. Whines, unhappily, about it.

"Osc-" obviously, Lando heard him. The sounds of him chaotically standing up, nearly falling over Oscar's rug and stumbling towards his bedroom door, are already clattering through the flat. "Can I come in?"

He just whines again, an animal thing. Oscar needs permission, like this, doesn't give it.

"Ok you better not be dying because I never finished the first aid-" Lando stops in the doorway. "Oh."

Oscar sinks to the floor, his knees bending beneath him, shoving the box at Lando before he folds down on his knees and elbows, looking up at the guy he's supposed to do anything to beat.

"Good..." Lando moves his mouth around for a moment, licks his lips. "Puppy?"

He doesn't have a tail to wag, although he has thought about one of the plugs, sometimes. Objectively, the bit of Oscar's brain that's still somewhat functioning says wiggling his arse must make him look ridiculous, especially when he paws at the box and whines again.

Lando crouches down, touches the ears. "Do you want to go out?"

Oscar cringes back, shaking his head violently. God, imagine the headlines.

"Ok." Lando does his head-cock thing again, then sticks his hands into the box. "Do you want your collar?"

It's pretty shameful, the way Oscar crawls forward so easily, smushes his face against Lando's knee and maybe he should have asked about this properly but Lando goes easily, scritching behind Oscar's ear. "Oh you're such a good boy, look at you."

Lando fumbles the collar for a second, not getting the buckle right the first time and it's nearly uncomfortable enough Oscar stands up, right back out of it but then it goes and it's snug and tight and good, Lando's hand in his hair.

"Are these your toys?" Lando shifts to kneeling, lets Oscar get his head right in his lap, nuzzling against Lando's stomach through the pouch of his hoodie. He doesn't need to answer that one, it's pretty obvious.

"Well, I don't think Oscar would want you breaking his stuff, so I'm going to leave the ball here." The third person is a jolt, like a nod to camera but it feels right. Oscar is elsewhere, can worry about that later.

"Come on then, good dog." Lando stands up, with the beanie toy in hand. It's a koala, a stupid joke. "Come and play, then."

It's not a comfortable flat to get through on your hands and knees, hard wooden floor jarring him in a way that'll probably bruise a bit, tomorrow. Lando's walking easily, waggling the beanie like he thinks he needs to keep Oscar interested.

Not Oscar. Puppy. It feels good.

Lando pushes the coffee table away, scraping on the floor in a way Oscar's landlord will probably have an opinion about when he comes to pay the deposit back. But puppies don't worry about that kind of thing, so Oscar just crawls over to where Lando's sitting, legs spread and outstretched, on the rug.

"Come on," Lando holds out the beanie, waving it by Oscar's mouth. "You want this, yeah?"

Oscar growls, nips at it. It's not the toy he wants, really, just the -

Ah, perfect. Lando pulls Oscar forward by the toy, right on top of him as he leans back. Oscar can paw him like his, Lando laughing delightedly and twisting away.

It's - he's seen the video, McLaren posted it for some national day or something last year - the same way Lando plays with his family's dog. Silly, rolling around the floor, letting Oscar half-hump him while Lando's shrieking and trying to get out of his grip, only to dive back in, wrestling with Oscar.

The rug scoots across the floor under them and they nearly crash into the telly, Oscar ending up on his back, against the sofa, Lando tickling his tummy but the toy in Oscar's mouth, triumphant.

"Are you submitting? Are you letting me lead the pack?" It's a bit on the nose but yeah, maybe. Oscar kicks out a leg, half-heartedly, to show he isn't always going to be ok with that.

"What a good boy." That, he is always ok with. More than human-Oscar would like to admit.

Lando lies down next to him, face a bit flushed and eyes bright from playing. "Always wanted a dog. You can even come to all the races."

[katnissdoesnotfollowback]

If THG's characters are a fanfic writers/readers, what do you feel would be their AO3/ffn account name and icon?

Also, what would be their preferred read (example : rating = K, T, G, M, E; type = canon, canon-divergent, modern AU etc.) and what kind of comments would they leave on a fic?

You can include as many characters as you can or want.

Thank you so much 😊

@curiousnonny

Ooooo fun @curiousnonny

Okay. Let's go.

Peeta: Fan artist. Super involved in fandom. Leaves comments that make fanfic writers weep tears of joy and his url is one of their most anticipated ones in their inboxes. He's not afraid to tell a nasty anon to go stuff it. Also, he drops random fanart presents based on their fanfic without warning. He throws up fandom inspired recipes onto his blog all the time. Preferred rating is across the board. You write it, he'll read it. His icon is his own hand, paint splattered and hovering over his most popular piece of canon compliant fan art. His url is a clever twist on a fandom phrase that somehow brings in a baking pun, or maybe something like fanbaked.

Gale: Does not read fanfiction. The one time he does out of curiosity because he found out about Katniss's fanfiction habit, he accidentally gets involved in a twenty plus comment thread arguing with the writer about whether or not the AU political system the writer has cooked up would actually be viable.

Haymitch: Does not know what fanfiction is.

Effie: Organizes fandom events and challenges but does not write fanfiction. Occasionally beta reads for her faves and makes sure that not only is their grammar impeccable, but she's helped more than one writer fix massive plot holes. Her one weakness... research. She believes almost everything she reads so she's no good backing you up on your research.

Madge: Fanfiction writer. AO3 pen name? 88problemsandfanficaintone. She gets started in each of her fandoms with fix-its, rare pairs, and missing scenes, before the action, previous generations of characters, but eventually she expands into AU's. She devours Rated E fics and gobbles up as much smut as she can, but her fics tend to stay below an M rating.

Johanna: Pen name is her favorite character's name + erotic body part. Crack fic and Fuck the Writers I'm taking this character away from them fics. Never comments because she's banned from doing so ever since she cursed someone out and then found out they were like... thirteen.

Delly: Everyone knows her but nobody knows she's writing under two pen names. Under one, she leaves comments on everyone's fics and is friends with everyone. Characters holding hands is as steamy as she gets. Problematic aspect: will literally fight you over her ships. Under her other pen name, however, she reveals nothing about herself and all bets are off. Her most popular fic under this name involved A/B/O dynamics, tentacles, and a creative use of a kitchen utensil.

Cinna: Masterful canon compliant sweeping epics and he includes illustrations to match his stories. Fandom cryptic.

Finnick: Beta reader extraordinaire. Mainly for Annie, but sometimes for Katniss as well. He and Peeta often have hilarious exchanges in the comments.

Annie: Writes as therapy and the fandom frequently pokes at Finnick to make sure she's actually okay because that last one was kind of dark....

Katniss: Debates with herself on whether or not she should even leave a kudos, but when she does leave comments, writers are usually freaked out and asking if she's been reading over their shoulders... She might be. You don't know. But really she's able to predict what's gonna happen because she is super selective about what she reads (so she knows those authors inside out) and what she writes. The only reason she winds up branching into writing AU is because that one really nice artist left a glowing comment on her first few fics and now she's kind of addicted to getting his thoughts. She panics when it turns out she actually knows him in real life. Fear not. Cue their own 150k+ slow burn and her eventually shyly asking for his help with um... research... "Do I have to get naked for this research?" Peeta teases. Her fics remain T rating and lower on AO3 but Peeta gets to read (and draw for her) the steamy stuff she writes.

This did not exactly answer your questions... oh well.

[dwtsfun]

Dancing with the Stars Season 32 Week 2: I Have a Confession

So last night was week 2. And I was thinking of structuring this like last week, but only 1 and a half couples truly had me feeling energized about the night. So I guess we'll go back to the regular format. Because Jamie Lynn was eliminated, I'll just talk about her up here. After watching her dance, I wasn't shocked. With all the controversy that was following her, we needed to have at least one big week from her. We didn't get that at all. And outside of that one moment up in the skybox with Julianne when she redid that move from her cha cha, we didn't get much fun out of her either. So what happens when you have a controversial celeb (that people truly don't like) that has potential that is not even being scratched, who is kinda just there and not giving much in any department? You get a somewhat shocking (but not really when you think about it) elimination. If they wanted to stay, they had to do something to get our minds off of the Britney Jean sized elephant in the room. They didn't do that and I think I'm more shocked that they didn't vs the fact that she was eliminated. That being said, she went out on a positive note (for the most part). So hopefully she can internalize that.

The show itself was a snoozefest. Alfonso and Julianne have kinda been blah so far. The technique and performance quality of the vast majority of the stars was not good enough to have Latin night this early. I just feel like theme weeks should start week 4 at the absolute earliest. Week 5 is what I believe is ideal. Let everyone's skills get better so that we're not watching 4 couples stumble through a samba in week 2, all to fulfill a theme. And the dances that the pros have been giving to the celebs have been pretty ho hum across the board. So now let me start the recap.

Lele and Brandon- Samba (Score=21)- Lele did pretty well with this dance. This was the half a dance I was talking about and upon watching it back, I'm actually gonna up that to being fully impressed and I think this dance was underscored. It should've gotten at least one 8. I think Lele had an understanding of the technique and rhythm of the dance that none of the other samba doers truly understood. And her feet were pointed this time! Than you Brandon. I just want her to do some more refining things and she'll be set.

Tyson and Jenna- Salsa (Score=18)- What an improvement a week makes! Tyson was a completely different dancer out there. I just knew he wasn't a no hoper. We just needed him to get more comfortable out on the floor. What I want him to work on now is 1) getting the technique cleaner and 2) work on getting lighter on his feet. But he is definitely on the right path.

Barry and Peta- Cha-cha (Score=15)- Barry struggled a little bit more this week than he did last. But the foundation is there for him to give good Latin dances. He does have some rhythm and his technique is mostly nice. Those New Yorkers were really really nice. Now, we gotta get him to fix his pancake hands, work on the technique a bit more and loosen up them hips. But I really think these two could play spoiler to many couples this year if he keeps improving. And honestly, he might be a true dance contender.

Adrian and Britt- Samba (Score=15)- Mm. Okay so this was a challenge. So let me start with the good. His face was much better this time around. I also saw that he worked on cleaning up his footwork. Now, he struggled with the dance itself, he still needs to be lighter on his feet, the technique still needs work and he needs to do a better job of partnering Britt. Right now it's not working the way that it should. But if they stick around, I can see that getting better and him becoming a decent dancer.

Mira and Gleb- Salsa (Score=18)- Hmm. Okay. Mira has really nice technique. She has everything to be amazing. But she's currently petrified of the dances and she dances too light. I need Gleb to get her to realize that she's good. I also want him to tell her to dance through the floor and not just on top of it.

Xochitl and Val- Salsa (Score=24)- So I thought this was a good dance. It was missing something though and I can't really place my finger on what it was. Actually, I know what it was. It was too much and too fast. It's a critique I have of Val at least once a season. He jam packs so much into a dance that sometimes, his partners can't breathe. Xochitl did well enough, but I also felt like it might've been a little much and sometimes she got a tad behind. Also her arm in that last lift was not great. Very good dance though.

Ariana and Pasha- Samba (Score=20)- Ariana did alright for the most part part. There were several questionable moments where she either looked off balance or lost a bit of control. I'm gonna say it's her nerves right now because it's not bad. She's still a fantastic dancer and I'm also still worried about her fanbase. But she might benefit from the same things that Melissa Rycroft did in her first season. Only time will tell.

Mauricio and Emma- Salsa (Score=12)- Mauricio actually started out doing pretty well. The problems that most of the other men dealt with this week, he did not deal with it. That was up until he forgot everything. And then the routine crashed. I'm actually shocked that Mauricio didn't get eliminated this week. But I guess people really pulled through for them. I still don't think Mauricio will last long, but hopefully he can come back strong next week.

Alyson and Sasha- Tango (Score=19)- Alyson also had a major improvement this week. I have to admit, I didn't think we could get this level of dancing out of Alyson. But we got it and it was a legitimately good dance. Now, I want her to dance with more intention. She placed everything pretty well, but it wasn't as strong as it could've been. I also want her to relax a little bit more throughout the dances. But we're moving in the right direction.

Charity and Ezra- Cha-cha (Score=21)- As we know, Artem had COVID and had to sit out this week. So we got Ezra as a fill in and I'm glad we got to see Ezra in this capacity. I would not mind seeing him as a pro next season. Ezra is also gay and we're lacking that representation with Louis gone (even though Louis is a bitter and hateful ass bitch and I don't get that energy from Ezra at all) and I don't think we've ever had that on the women's side of things (please correct me if I'm wrong). Now onto Charity. It was cool. Technically, it was a great dance. But I feel like she was timid and stiff. I'll chalk up a lot of that to having a new partner and just being nervous in general. She'll be better as the show goes on, but this just wasn't her best.

Harry and Rylee- Salsa (Score=15)- Harry moves very small and is still terrified of these dances. I think he handled this one better and I saw some improvement. He stayed on time more. But it's still not great. I don't think he can get to a great or even a good level. But he is improving and he can shock us. I mean Alyson definitely shocked me this week.

Jason and Daniella- Rumba (Score=24)- This was the best dance of the night. I think Jason might be the one to beat. I have to see a ballroom dance from him but I do not have any reason to believe that he will really struggle with those based on what he's shown and the past work of Daniella. I did see the misstep that CAI was talking about, but wow, what a dance. I was incredibly impressed.

So that's what I thought about the show. Let me know your thoughts and I will talk to you all soon.

[eyndr-stories]

THE SQUEAKUEL (Epilogue)

So!!! I wound up writing the epilogue to 'I Think I Smell A Rat' out nice and proper after all lol here it is! And I'm making this a little series because I would be happy to write more of these silly robots if yall have requests! Yall seem to enjoy being a nifty little robot rat doing rat tasks and making exceptionally tall friends ^_^

Send requests / prompts to me here on Tumblr or yell at me on Ao3 (LINK TO THIS EPILOGUE ON AO3 RIGHT HERE BTW). Consider this epilogue a little intro into the 'after the story' mini stories i'm hoping this will be??

If i do get any requests (or if I ever get an idea of my own i'd like to write :P), I'd write and post them each as their own standalone in-universe chapter! The idea is to have it so none of the chapters are required reading for any other chapters, so each chapter is sort of its own standalone little scenario, and I'll write up a brief little description of the chapter in the summery or beginning notes or some such hooplah, so yall know what each little story is about. Does this makes sense??? I sure hope so lmao

That's all if I even get requests :P either way, enjoy this silly and super chill little epilogue! <3

Things To Know:

Not a lot lmao this is all chill fluff. You and your rat friends play board games with Sun and Moon ^_^

Also if you don't know how to play checkers. Now you do lmao

Friendly teasing between you and Moon

This is an epilogue so a few things and bits of dialogue might not make sense if you haven't read the main story. I'll do my darndest to have potential request chapters be standalone stories but still in-universe!

I am so so sleepy please tell me if I am missing important things here I will amend as soon as I wake up dfhkjghkf

Epilogue

     "TINY FRIEND!!!"

     The mouse hole shaped wall port had barely closed behind you before you were spotted. Sun was barreling across the daycare towards you, although this time around you were not fearful, but actually very happy to see him.

     Before you could even blink out a 'hello' from your tail light, you'd been scooped up and now the world was rushing by as Sun twirled. He finally paused to press you to his face plate.

     "Muah! Muah!!" Sun said, bumping his ever constant grin against your noggin a few times. "Moon told me everything!! I can't believe it, you really fixed everyone and found your friends and saved the day and OHHH I'm SO sorry if I caused you any trouble when I had that virus! I can't even remember what happened after I went in for repairs… I wasn't mean to you was I?! I'm so sorry tiny friend I didn't mean it!!"

     You quickly waved your tail light directly in front of Sun's eye, finally cutting off his rambling before he could get too upset. "Do not worry. Nothing too bad happened, and I'm not upset with you."

     "That's good!!! I'm so relieved!" Sun let out a massive sigh and plopped down onto the padded daycare floor. He cradled you in his hands, holding you up at eye level. "I hope Moony wasn't too mean to you either, he's such a grump sometimes!"

     You quirked your head to the side in amusement. "Oh, he wasn't so bad."

     "Good!! So what brings you back here so soon, tiny friend??"

     Sun flattened his palms out a little, and suddenly your pathfinding program was working again, deciding that Sun's hands were a decent enough surface to read. While you'd gotten pretty used to hanging out in hands, having your pathfinding working properly was something of a relief. You relaxed into Sun's hands and explained.

     "Well, if you recall, I did promise to play a game with you once everything else was taken care of. I also told Moon I'd play a game with him as well. I'm not sure how much time we have until your daycare opens…"

     "OHHHHHHH!!!" Sun's whole frame rattled and his slippered feet tapped excitedly on the padded floor. His sun says sprang in and out. "YOU WANT TO PLAY GAMES WITH US?!"

     You didn't have a chance to reply before Sun had sprang to his feet again, already twirling before he'd even stood all the way up.

     "That's SO GREAT tiny friend because!! The whole building including the daycare is closed for the day!!! So that means we can play games ALL DAY LONG if you want!!!"

     "The building is closed?" You did your best to focus on Sun instead of the world spinning madly around you.

     "Yeah! The staff said that they have to clean some things up, and management wants them done by the end of the day so we can open back up again tomorrow. So that means we have the whole day to play games!! You could even invite your friends if you want!!!" Sun finally stopped spinning, though his sun rays kept swaying from side to side.

     You thought about trying to convince at least your nest mates to come and play games with Sun. Might as well give it a shot, right?

     "Okay, I'll send a few of my friends a ping. They might be busy though. Is there a game we can play just the two of us in the meantime?" you asked.

     "Oh boy oh boy there sure is!! I'll take you to the game shelf!" Sun dashed back across the daycare, still holding you carefully. He rounded the edge of a play structure and weaved between child-sized tables with their chairs neatly tucked under them. He stopped at the wall, where one very long shelf spanned the length of this little back area. There were several cubbies and boxes of toys lined up along the wall below the shelf as well.

     "There's lots here we could play with two people! Hmm but what would be okay for a tiny friend to play…? Maybe a board game with small enough pieces? Cards might be too big for you to handle…" Sun mumbled mostly to himself as he paced along the length of the shelf, eyes scanning over colorful boxes.

     You were a little intimidated by the amount of games here. You'd never played any of them before of course, and didn't have the first clue as to how they worked. "Is there something simple we could play?"

     "Something simple… oh, would you like to play checkers??" Sun held you carefully in one hand and grabbed a smaller box from the shelf with the other.

     Encouraged by the more manageable size of this game's box, you agreed.

     Sun happily carried you to the nearest table, letting you hop off his hand so he could set up the game. "Usually I would discourage a friend from standing on the table, but I think I'll give you an exception!" Sun joked.

     You watched as Sun unfolded a colorful square board with a black and red checker pattern painted on its smooth surface. He explained the rules as he placed twenty-four plastic disks one by one in the board's squares.

     "So we each get twelve pieces, you see how half are black and the other half are red? We each get all of one color. Black gets to go first, and since its your very first time, you can be black!" Sun finished setting all the black disks in their proper places along your half of the board, then started setting the red disks on his side. "We take turns making moves until one of us wins the game! You win the game when your opponent can't make any more moves. This usually happens by capturing all of the other player's pieces."

     "All I have to do to win is take your pieces?" You eyed the disks. They seemed like they wouldn't be difficult for you to lift, and they had groves along their rims that you suspected would make them fit very neatly on top of each other for easier carrying.

     "Yes, but there's more rules!" Sun went on. "In order to capture an opponent's piece, one of your pieces has to leap over the opponent's piece and land in a straight diagonal line on the other side. The square you land in has to be empty. Like this!" Sun took two pieces to demonstrate, one of yours and one of his. He carried his piece over yours, setting it down in a black square on the other side of your piece, then placed your piece on the table next to the board. "See, and now I've captured your piece! The pieces must always move diagonally, and forwards. Unless the piece you move is a king!"

     "Wait, what's a king?"

     Sun set the pieces back in their proper places and explained that any piece that reached the other end of the board would become a king, and a captured piece would be placed on top so that the piece was twice as high as a single piece. Kings could move both forward and backward.

     Sun explained a few more rules, like jumping over more than one piece at a time, winning by blocking in all of an opponent's pieces, and pieces making a non-capturing move only being able to move one square. When you were ready, the game began in earnest.

     You eyed the board and all its neatly positioned pieces. There were only a few pieces you could move right at the start, so you stepped carefully between disks and picked one at random, sliding it to the diagonal square up and to the left of it with a paw.

     Sun took his turn, mirroring your move, then looked back up at you. You moved the same piece again, sliding it up and to the right. Sun tapped the bottom of his face plate thoughtfully, then moved a piece at the end of his first row forwards.

     Back and forth you went, moving pieces around for a while before you managed to capture the first piece. You'd been so excited to take the first piece that you didn't realize you'd hopped your little disk right into trouble, and Sun captured it immediately after.

     "Whoops." You thought more carefully about your next move while Sun swayed happily from side to side.

     As the game went on, you wondered if beating Sun was even possible. Sun probably had the right programming to calculate the best possible move, to plan several moves ahead. Sun had been built to play games with kids all day, whereas you'd been built to execute tasks with immediate response. You were struggling to plan more than a single move ahead.

     All your life it had been 'go here, complete task'. 'Get part, repair item'. Simple, straightforward, not much planning beyond making sure you didn't make your way too far out of your designated repair zone. If there was any sort of 'planning ahead' needed, usually you'd ping your shared network with the other rats and work together to work out a plan. Like with the new charging shifts to prevent another 'virus' fiasco from occurring, the network was buzzing in the back of your mind with discussion of who would get what shift, if rats all in the same nest should have different shifts or the same shifts.

     You got an idea as Sun captured another one of your pieces. You pinged your network with a low priority message, drafting up a somewhat complicated question.

     "You sure are thinking hard over there! Are you still having fun, tiny friend?" Sun asked.

     You turned your attention back to him, realizing you'd been staring down at the board for a while now, processors whirring hard. "Oh, yes! Apologies." You received a few pings back in response to your message. You excitedly moved a piece forward into position.

     "No worries! I'm glad you're having fun, I'm having fun too!" Sun made his next move without much delay, skirting one of his disks further along the edge of the board.

     You put a second piece into position, sliding it into danger. Sun took the bait, capturing your piece and unknowingly creating the perfect opening. Gleefully, you used the piece you'd set up earlier to hop over three of Sun's pieces in a row.

     "Woah!! What a good move!" Sun gasped.

     You happily hopped in place, being mindful not to bump any pieces on the board. With that move you'd evened the playing field between you and Sun.

     You informed the network of the success and sent another message, asking for further assistance. More rats replied this time. Gradually, as the game went on, you had nearly every rat on the network strategizing with you, and you were giving Sun a run for his money.

     "Gosh, you really picked this game up fast!" Sun scratched at his forehead with a finger, staring down at the board. "Oh boy, looks like I'm in trouble…"

     It only took a few more moves for you to win the game, with the help of the other rats. There was delighted chatter all across the network as you made the winning move, capturing Sun's final piece.

     "Wow!! You won, great job tiny friend! That was really fun!" Sun exclaimed, clapping happily.

     "Thank you!" You pranced in a little circle on the board, then climbed atop a king piece. "We won!! That was fun!"

     "We?" Sun tilted his face plate curiously.

     "Me and the other rats. I asked them to help me with planning ahead."

     "You mean I was playing against all your friends too??" Sun put his hands on his hips. "If I'd known that I would have adjusted my difficulty setting!"

     You looked at him blankly for a moment. "You mean to tell me that you weren't even trying very hard??"

     "I always set my difficulty setting lower when I play a game with someone for the first time! That way the game is fair, because people don't have as much fun when the game isn't fair," Sun explained.

     "Oh." You thought about that for a moment. "Was it unfair of me to ask all the other rats for help?"

     Sun answered with a kind and patient tone. "You can always ask for help from your friends! But not telling me made the game a little unfair. If you like to play that way then that's okay with me! There are lots of kids who have fun playing that way, and I don't mind! I just like to play. It's always good to ask first though if the other players want to play that way too!"

     "I see. Okay." You nodded in understanding. "I would like to play fair. I apologize for not telling you I had help winning."

     "That's okay, tiny friend! No hard feelings!" Sun lightly tapped you on the head between your little ears. "Would you like to play again??"

     "Yes," you answered immediately. The onslaught of low priority messages from the network asking you for more strategy questions ceased as you informed everyone you were playing again, and you were met with a new onslaught of delighted messages. "My friends are all excited to play again too."

     "Really?! That's great!!" Sun bounced excitedly as he made quick work of resetting the board. "Tell them they can come play with us anytime!! I've got lots of games, you know. OH, and speaking of excited friends… Moon really wants a turn, if that's okay??"

     "He does? Sure!"

     Sun laughed. "He says to tell you that he's definitely NOT excited, it's just that you did tell him you wanted to play a game with him and he just doesn't want you to be sad."

     "Right, of course." You watched as Sun stood up from the table and took a step back. "Maybe you two could take turns throughout the day?"

     "Yeah, that’s a great idea!!" Sun paused, then went on. "Moon agrees! Okay, here we go, lights off!"

     Immediately, all the lights in the daycare turned off. The darkness fell in a comforting blanket over the room, and your eyes immediately clicked over to a lower light setting. You watched with interest as Sun and Moon made a much more dramatic adjustment. A few yellow panels slid back to reveal blue waiting underneath, and small hatches opened to change out Sun's scarf with Moon's capelet, storing the spare costume piece away in a little compartment on their chest. Their face plate spun, latching onto Moon's nightcap as a smaller compartment closer to their neck opened, little magnets snapping into place and holding the cap to Moon's head, pulling it out of the compartment. You weren't sure what happened exactly to their pants. The fabric seemed light sensitive, the low light causing a different pattern to become visible, long bright stripes vanishing to make way for a starry pattern that matched Moon's nightcap.

     The whole transformation took only two seconds, and then you were faced with Moon, who focused on you at once.

     "Tiny terror," Moon greeted.

     You waved your tail at him in greeting. "Tall terror."

     Moon's face plate spun as he crouched down on the other side of the table. "Did your friends help you come up with that little nickname?"

     "That one was all me," you assured.

     "Good. Because unlike Sun, I have far less tolerance for cheaters." Moon waggled his finger disapprovingly at you.

     "I didn't mean to cheat!" you insisted.

     Moon 'tsk'ed at you and folded his arms. "Mhmm. Sure.”

     Moon chuckled quietly, and you had a feeling he was just messing with you. “Are you going to antagonize me all day or would you like to play a game?”

     “Who says I can’t do both?” Moon reached across the table and gave you a poke. He picked up one of the game disks and idly spun it over his knuckles, plastic ‘tik-tik-tik’ing over metal. “I’ll tell you what… since you’ve got your entire little rat crew backing you up, why don’t we try a game with a tad bit more strategy?” Moon flipped the disk into the box, then started picking up the other pieces.

     “What game?” You tilted your head at Moon, both cautious and curious.

     Moon reached into the box and took out a a taller game piece maybe half your height, carved to resemble a horse.

     “Chess,” Moon said, setting the piece in front of you. You had a feeling he’d be grinning even if he could have altered his expression beyond his eternal grin.

     Turns out, chess was a lot more complex than checkers, although it’s still played on the same board. Moon explained all the rules in detail, and then preceded to obliterate you in the first match, even with your friends helping you out. As you’d feared, he was very good at this game. Now you and the other rats were all getting the hang of it though, and the next game was more evenly matched as you all learned quickly.

     You were still struggling because relaying the state of the board and possible options each turn was taking a lot of processing power. The other rats were having a hard time keeping up as well, though everyone seemed to want to help out regardless.

     All of a sudden, you found a large number of rats ceased responding in the middle of the game. Figuring they’d finally gotten tired, you resolved to just do your best to finish out the game.

     “What’s the matter? You seem worried i’ll win by a landslide once again…” Moon moved his remaining tower only one space, and you peered suspiciously around the board, trying to see what kind of trap he was setting.

     “Hush you, i’m trying to concentrate.” You paced around the board, eying all the pieces. You had to admit, you were in trouble. Moon had a few more pieces in play than you, and both his king and queen were still well protected.

     You didn’t realize Moon’s face plate had been spinning until it stopped abruptly.

     “What is that… noise…” Moon straightened up, lifting his face plate up high to peer around the darkened daycare.

     A moment later, you heard it too. You immediately knew what it was. It was the sound your tiny metal paws made when you scurried over the padded floor of the daycare, only multiplied by fifty.

     No sooner had you placed the noise did you see its source. Rounding the edge of the play structure behind you was a small wave of metal rats, scurrying in a group towards you and Moon.

     “What the-?” Moon got to his feet, eying the rats warily.

     You were happy to see your friends, and a few quick back and forth pings dispelled your confusion at seeing them here. “They say they are here to play the game!”

     “Ah, they want to play in person? I suppose that doesn’t make much difference to me.” Moon shrugged. “You won’t all fit on the table, though…” Moon gently lifted the board, keeping all the pieces on its surface steady. He moved it to the floor beside the table, and all the rats immediately gathered around and started chatting excitedly back and forth in your shared network.

     You hopped from the table to one of the chairs tucked in around it, then dropped to the ground. Once you joined your friends, you shifted your attention to the strategy unfolding in the network.

     With your friends able to see the board and all its pieces, strategy discussion was much smoother and quicker, not to mention easier on your processors. In just a few moves you’d managed to turn the game around, and now you had Moon on the ropes.

     There were no more quips and jabs as Moon focused, puzzling intently over the game. He made some very good moves, but in the end you and your friends won the game. You toppled Moon’s king with a paw, declaring checkmate.

     Moon huffed and grumbled as you and your friends cheered and danced around the board.

     “What a fun game! That was great!” you told Moon.

     “I suppose I did have fun. Even if I lost to a bunch of rats.” Moon sighed. “Well, since you’re all here, would you all like to play a different game or would you like to keep playing chess?”

     The rats all chatted excitedly. More games?? What other games could there be??

     At your request, Moon listed off a great number of games, none of which you’d played before. You weren’t sure what games would be best for a whole group of you to play.

     “We could all play tag?” Moon offered.

     The rats all sounded interested, still excited from the previous games. Moon explained the rules, and everyone agreed to give it a try. You looked around at your group of friends and noted there were several more than there had been at first. You checked the network and found a low priority location ping with a unique task type labeled ‘GAMES’. The range request was set to ask every rat in the plex to come help with this ‘task’.

     “I will be it first, just to show you all how it’s done. Now, i’m going to count for thirty seconds! Remember, no hiding in the walls or outside of the daycare. I’d also stay out of the ball pit if I were you, I don’t think any of you would be able to get yourselves out of there and it’d be a pain to have to fish you out.” Moon swept his gaze over the assorted rats, hands on his hips. “Ready?”

     You spoke for everyone, stating you were all ready. Moon sat down and folded his legs, then slapped his hands over his optics and started to loudly count.

     You and the other rats scattered, creating a sound almost like soft rain against the outermost wall as dozens of tiny paws scurried over the padded floor.

     There were so many places to hide, you weren’t sure where would be best. You’d be well hidden in a pile of plushies or amidst those big colorful foam blocks, or you could try and climb up into one of the play structures… but you had no doubt Moon would look in any and all of these places. You needed somewhere he wouldn’t think to look…

     You paused in your tracks, swiveling your head back to Moon. He’d just reached fifteen seconds. All your friends had made themselves scarce; you spotted ends of tails dashing around the edges of slides or under toys. You turned back around and ran right back to Moon.

     Moon was sitting hunched over in his typical looming fashion. The end of his nightcap just barely reached the floor.

     You reached Moon with five seconds to spare. Carefully, as gently as you could, you grabbed hold of the end of Moon’s cap and pulled yourself up until you were around halfway up the cap. You managed not to jostle the bell, and Moon seemed none the wiser. He finished counting, and stood up.

     “Ready or not, here I come!”

     The world rushed by in a blur, and you found yourself way high up off the ground, clinging to the backside of Moon’s cap. It occurred to you then that this might not have been the safest idea you’d ever had, but it was far too late to back out now.

     Moon chuckled quietly as he started to stalk around the daycare, tiptoeing around and sweeping his gaze back and forth. He really hadn’t noticed you…

      Absolutely delighted with your success, you watched on as Moon started to track down your friends. He plucked them from toy piles and cubbies and slowly amassed a collection of rat friends in the middle of the room.

     Moon paused after a few minutes to study the found rats. “For some reason there seem to be more rats here than what we started with…”

     One of the rats informed Moon how many rats were left to find. You did some quick math and realized nearly three fourths of the entire rat crew was here in the daycare playing games. With the plex closed for the day, there must not be that many tasks to do.

     Rat by rat, Moon combed his way through the daycare. Soon he only had a small handful of rats left to locate. He eyed the rats congregated in the center of the daycare, all of them watching him stalk around with amusement.

     “Hm. Still haven’t found tiny terror yet…” Moon swiveled his head back and forth.

     You swung with his cap, glad you didn’t have a voice box because if you did you were sure you’d be giggling.

     A minute later, Moon had found every rat in the daycare besides you.

     “Only one left!” one of the rats helpfully supplied.

     “Yes, i’m aware.” Moon tapped at his chin thoughtfully. “There’s not many places left to hide…”

     Moon stalked the length of the daycare once more. You held tight to his night cap, little paws locked firmly in place in the fabric.

     “Where in the world…” Moon muttered.

     “Only forty-three seconds left!” another rat flashed.

     Moon grumbled to himself. You responded to a few amused pings. The other rats could see you very well and were commending you on your hiding place.

     Moon scaled up a play structure and cast one last desperate look around, hoping his vantage point overlooking the whole daycare would grant him some insight as to your whereabouts. He was unsuccessful.

     Several rats started flashing their tail lights. “Time’s up!”

     Moon heaved a sigh and climbed back down. He put his hands on his hips and looked around. “Alright tiny terror, where could you have possibly been hiding?!”

     You swing your tail around and tap it against the back of Moon’s head. Moon jumped and spun around as his sensors picked up the touch. You flew with his cap, remaining out of sight behind his head.

     Carefully, you climbed down Moon’s cap just far enough to kick the bell at the end. Moon straightened at the noise, pausing for a moment. Then, slowly, he spun his face plate around until you were dangling in front of his chest. He tilted his face at an angle and rotated it the rest of the full 360 degrees, causing his hat to dangle in front of his face. You found yourself suddenly very close to Moon’s eyes, which were studying you intently.

     “…I’m mad because I can’t even say this is cheating,” Moon grumbled.

     You tapped your tail against his pointed nose, amused at his despair.

     “You’re very lucky you’re cute, tiny terror.”

     “This means I win, right??”

     Moon sighed. “I’ll let it slide just this once. Yes, you win.”

     Delighted at your success, you found yourself not minding at all when Moon plucked you disdainfully from his hat and deposited you on the ground with your friends.

     Moon crouched down in front of the crowd of rats. “Okay, Sun is demanding a turn. Try not to miss me too much while I’m gone.”

     The rats all chatted excitedly. Very few of them had ever even seen Sun before. Everyone knew Moon of course, but not his more cheerful other.

     You bid temporary farewell to Moon, and he took a step back before declaring ‘lights on’.

     Before you knew it, Sun was back, and he was beyond delighted to be greeted with an army of tiny friends to play games with. He won over the good graces of your friends nearly instantly with his endless optimism and promise of more games.

     The day went on, and Sun and Moon taught you and your rat friends all kinds of fun games. A few of your friends came and went, some sticking around for some games and leaving for others. You stayed the whole day, only leaving briefly to charge before hurrying right back. You knew you’d eventually have to return to your tasks, but for now you were free to play games with all your friends and have fun.

     You found yourself marveling at how wonderful your life had become. Not that it was even bad before, you do still enjoy your tasks! You just never knew how absolutely wonderful it was to be surrounded by all of your friends, everyone safe and happy and having fun together. Despite the stress of last night, everything really had turned out alright, and it seemed to you that this outcome was more than worth it.

     You pulled yourself from your happy musings. Another game was about to begin, and you weren’t about to miss it for the world.

[dlnj]

So after waking up at the end of wetting my diaper (which would have been my bed , he he ) it was already time for me to just about be getting up to go to work 3:30 am wake up to start at 5:30 kind of a bummer but it’s all good, anyway after I was finished wetting my diaper I took it off cause it was soaked and it was get out of bed time, I was just chilling sitting in bed trying to shake the sleep off and a few minutes later I notice I’m leaking on myself and then a few minutes after that again and I could feel that this was going to be one of those days that I’m either going to wear a diaper and assume no one is going to notice (which folks never really notice anything like that , I wear diapers and am part of the ABDL community so I’ve always wondered who around me might be wearing a diaper for what ever reason and I’ve never noticed anyone ever wearing a diaper and I’m sure I’ve had to have been talking to or right near someone who needed to or just liked wearing diapers and I’ve never noticed so most likely no one will notice me wearing my “proper attire” anyway . I’ve been nervous about wearing diapers to work though , since I got my diagnosis and being diaper dependent medically I have made sure to stay diapers ALWAYS at night and then any time I’m not working I’m in diaper . Today I figured it was either wear a diaper and know no one is going to notice or a slight chance someone might or I can leak on my self all day and most likely have a huge accident where everyone around me will notice my pants get all wet in the front then down my leg and forming a puddle in the floor , (it’s happened before, actually a bunch of times ) for all to see , I feel like today was the right day to start wearing diapers 24/7 and accepting that I have pretty much every form of incontinence across the board getting worse as time goes by (yay!! Diapers for me always). I wasn’t quite brave enough to wear my regular everyday diaper but I am wearing a pull up which I hate but if you need diapers and want to be as discreet as possible and aren’t going to wet heavy then a pull-up will work for now, til I’m brave enough to just wear a diaper , not much of a difference if someone notices anyway, no one is going to say “oh that’s not a diaper , it’s a pull-up lol it’ll be the same thing to them lmfao) and I hope I don’t do anything more than just leak cause if I have s full on accident I’ll probably still end up wetting my pants , just probably wouldn’t be as horrible but still embarrassing, wet pants and wet pull-up yup sound like a fun day. Maybe if that happens it’ll be so embarrassing I’ll never want to take the chance of that ever again and then that’s it , 100% total urinary incontinence 100% completely diaper dependency . Either way I’m headed towards being completely diaper dependent, 2.5 more weeks til I see my doctor again and when I do I’m going to have her alter my diagnosis to include complete permanent day time incontinence along with the bedwetting and she already knew some days I need diapers during the day and some days I didn’t so it’s not going to be much of a jump for her to rewrite my diaper order to include a whole bunch more diapers in the mail covered by insurance which I’m still yet to receive but that’s because I have to fix the insurance . I’m hoping to go from potentially getting the hundred plus DIAPERS every month to maxing me out at I think 254 diapers delivered to my door every month in the same day. I think that should be enough diapers every month to wear diapers full time for the rest of my life. Anyway wish me luck everyone . Hopefully no one notices then maybe I’ll be brave enough to change into a diaper instead of the pull up at 9:00 break or maybe at the very least come in tomorrow in a diaper like I should be wearing right now. Really was one of the best thing I could have done for myself was get my incontinence “problem” (I don’t look at it as a problem , I look at it as about damn time I loose control lmfao) diagnosed and having her declare me diaper dependent. Anyway update to come……..

[godesssiri]

Remember how I was bitching about our old RN? We had a Ministry of Health spot audit today. It was expected - kinda - we knew it would be soon but we didn't know exactly when, the whole point is that that they could walk in the door any time in a 6 month period so you better have your i's dotted and your t's crossed. When the auditors go through everything you can get attains, partial attains and fails. Partial attains you'll get a time period to fix it and provide proof that you've fixed it - the time period you have depends on how serious it is, you might have to fix it within a week, you might get up to 3 months. We've never had a fail but if you ever hear about a rest home getting shut down it's because they've had an audit and they've failed something important, or several somethings. Our last audit we got 1 single partial attain and it was literally we had a document on file but we didn't have it in the folder they thought we should have it in so all we had to do was photocopy the document and put it in the folder they wanted.

The auditor gave us 10 partials today. And we're pretty sure she went easy on us because she could tell we had just gotten rid of a really bad RN and were still just discovering all the ways she screwed us. She had a whole pile of gentle suggestions that didn't make it into her report and there were a whole bunch of times she said 'can produce this specific form for me before I leave today?' and basically gave us time to scurry off and fix the problem so she didn't have to include it in her report. In a way it was good because now we know exactly what our previous RN was doing wrong and what we need to do to fix it, before it was like stumbling across landmines, we never knew when we'd find some process of procedure she hadn't bothered to follow.

Our new RN was really happy with the care plans I typed up. For the most part I was straight up copying but I also fixed anything egregious, like when the plan was for a man and the old RN used female pronouns for half of it, or when she put a whole pile of stuff about the family in the continence/elimination section. I'm not clinical but even I know that a resident's family relationships are not relevant to their pooping and that stuff belongs in the psycho-social section. Anything I didn't feel confident fixing I put a note for our new RN saying 'take a closer look at this section, it looks hinky'. She's feeling a lot better because she was staring down the barrel of a whole pile of work to fix what our old RN had done and she never knew when she was going to go to do a part of her job only to find she'd have to fix the old RNs bad work first. Now she knows exactly what needs to be fixed, both from what I've pointed out and the auditor's findings.

One of the auditor's quiet suggestions is that we talk to the GP who wanted to talk or old RN to the nurses council and to the Nurse Gerontology Specialist at the District Health Board who help us get her updated education and get her out of the doctor's crosshairs and tell them all the auditors findings and ask if they do want to talk to the nursing council about her because the auditor got the impression, just from looking at the paperwork she left, that she is very arrogant and quite careless and actually not safe and she should not be allowed to work in a situation where she is the sole RN again.

[scarletsaphire]

✨🎀🎈💞💥🎙️💌💌💌

No those three at the end aren't a mistake, I know you have lots of WIPs and I wanna hear about them (insert activethreat emote)

✨-What's a fic you've posted you wish you could breathe life into again and have people talking about it? (or simply a fic you wish got more credit):

Hmm. I'd say Ten Lives (The One Worth Living) but I think I might be biased and just want to talk about my Johnny, Kitty, and Shadow ideas more. I like them a Very Normal Amount I prommy.

🎀-give yourself a compliment about your own writing

There's a post that I've seen plenty times before that I think about all the time that goes something along the lines of "I'm having creative ideas above my skill level!" or something like that, for when you have a great idea but just don't know how to execute it the way you want. I legitimately feel where I am at a point where that isn't an issue for me with my writing? I think most ideas I can execute within the general sphere of what I want them to be; I might not always like them, and they might not always be what I consider "good," but they are comparable to the original idea.

🎈-describe your style as a writer; is it fixed? does it change?

It tends to change based on the type of thing I'm writing. And how much sleep I get. I like a lot of shorter sentences, followed by one long rambling one for most kinds of prose, since most of my prose is an ooo ouch my bones type of prose. It does change all the time though, so that might be different in a few months. It certainly wasn't what I preferred until like, August.

💞-what's the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language

hm. augh. mm. thats a toughy! I'm going to say worldbuilding, because I often find myself more interested in the worldbuilding that the Actual Story I'm Trying To Write (its why a 30k first draft of a novel is fitting, completely unfinished, in my google drive. The current guys suck. I want the old ones. But the old ones only work as history for the new guys. Its sad.)

💥-find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it.

I'm ngl I completely thought it was gun safe but First Concert! It's a pretty short one, but it does what I sought out to accomplish; combine Dora and Ember's interests in a way that illustrates their differences but also shows that they're much more similar than you'd think.

🎙️-which one of your fics would you like someone to make a pod-fic of?

I have literally never put thought into that ever. If I had to choose, probably All In The Name Of Love or Strength of the Past And Weights of The Present, mostly because they're my favorites.

Welcome to WIP hell! See, you'd think that it would be a problem, having two of my WIPS be EI so I can't talk about them, and one being one you know so much about already. You might think that would hinder me somehow, in being able to tell you about them. YOU'D THINK!!

💌- share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

Chapter 2 Of Cover Blown: I love pitch pearl man, I really do, and with what I'm planning for this one I think it is going to be about as good as my pitch pearl can get (Dreamwalker excluded dw). I love putting guys in situations, especially when those situations involve bad injuries and babbled confessions.

Speaking of Dreamwalker, I'll add this here too, because while you might know a lot, I always have more. I love how I'm writing the ghosts, just across the board. They are all pieces of shit in the Funniest Way, especially since Danny is a whole ass child right now. You're scheming about a nine year old babes, calm down. He hasn't even lost all his baby teeth yet.

As for the last one, I'm going to put it under a read more. TW for bugs and Danny rotting, but its ok he's fine with it.

Bug Boi (title to be changed later) has been shelved indefinitely for. Many reasons! I have. So much to write. Bug Boi is, for those who do not know. Where I put as many bugs into the boy as possible. He loses organ privileges and instead becomes the landlord for a hoard of different bugs. He loves them, and they love him, and when they die (as bugs often do) they give him their little bug souls as a thank you so he because More Bug.

Anyway, I recently learned about the scorpion fly, who looks like this:

It is so cool, and has recently (idk how recently) been seen in forensic entomology, meaning that I can put these fuckers into Danny's eye sockets or esophagus or wherever else and be. Not technically wrong!! I have no idea if Bug Boi will ever be taken off of my list of to be written, but if nothing else it gives for me a place to put bugs.

[the-firebird69]

There are several cars like this and they're not that bad the chassis is not wide enough it's not as wide as the new mini and it's bigger but the height is pretty damn good the rear door needs to be adjusted to two doors and two leaves and more square and the access needs to be better and the seat set up needs to be better A lot of them like the ones you pull out and we do too it's not enough room in there to keep them in there some people want to do the ones that go down in the sun says you just make them thinner there's no reason for these big huge fat seats it's true too we can do that and it doesn't solve the problem but it makes it better underneath which actually helps people put things that fly around under there so that might actually solve the problem and we're going ahead and Terry cheesman did have that idea and we're going to reward him or our son says.. and will increase the power a little to carry a heavy load cuz it's bigger this is found in several companies this particular vehicle that didn't sell too much because it wasn't as handy as it looks and it was too thin too skinny it was flipping we're going to fix that

In other news Terry cheesman was out of this relationship with the idiot and wants him out of there and he can't get them out and we're having difficulty doing it yes and today he's back in court now it's Saturday he's back in court on Monday and he's facing new charges and they already charged him or find him for the violation of the gag order. And then coming on Monday he's going to be charged with racketeering and it goes to criminal Court but it's going to criminal court at the federal level everybody wants him to step down and get out of the way and he won't now he's going to start attacking bja no he is he's in a war with him now.

-there's a giant reshuffling that's going to occur fairly soon the empire is getting ready for it and these guys are going to align but first they have to sit there territory in the United Kingdom and they haven't but the pseudo empire and Trump are going to join up and they're going to establish in the south and Tommy f will have them fighting down there and sometimes creatures come out it's not cut and dry it's like that across the board

-can you things happening right now several people we were wondering around get arrested this morning and the other stinkers some of them are women and they're mean there's also Asians they're minority murlocs but they're here and it's only a ton of stuff to the United States huge number of and giant numbers of x-pro Templar and huge numbers of parts for hard knock kicker 5150 they're not even the sole supplier like people think and it's just ancillary stuff giant giant numbers of those scooters and new exhaust that helps me the dot standard it actually does. It's a huge huge deal and they're buying the engine and transmission. It's humongous but what we're talking about is the craze with China it's getting bigger and bigger and the pull will Begin again over there. People saw that their quads work and they're buying them a lot of them and there's other items too it's not really obscure but they're not really expected completely. They're buying regular cruisers because they actually work. And they're getting tons of them okay they're buying tons of them it's going to be a huge huge day. We're getting to

-we're getting close to the release of the kit and he says when we're there we should sample it and see what the effect is and we're going to do that but we need to do testing and we need access to the salt flats in Utah and we need to passage in and out corridor things like that just saying this we don't really like it but we do and once John down there to time it and assist timing it and to see if you can see them and more with his team as a control for the warlock and Mac agrees and he's going to send a team and the some of the max agree and others Trump is going to have a team but John Gallagher is going to set up for the actual timing and he's done it for many races up there and our son and daughter just assumed it that he's good at it and you're welcome to the opportunity. It is a huge day others are suggesting that they test other vehicles while they're testing that and it's a decent idea and we're going to go ahead and request it he set up that way and John Gallagher is going to time and all

There's more news it's not as big but it is a precursor for huge things

-the sun says he's got to grow because people don't want to kidnap him he's just sitting there and nothing ever happens and he needs to spice it up for us and we suddenly agreed so we're going to see you with the statuses he needs oxygen and needs to ship out of here and all these other ships too so people are going to work on making it banned.

-we're seeing characters from X-Men and other movies it's going to start up Friday the 13th is going to finish up but first it's a fight with Freddy Krueger and that's going to start it is because of the mental hospital he's trying to remember he thinks it's Hellboy and it is it's not wolverine goes to the same building and it's a mental institution they tried to get him into and there it is the particular people doing it and they have to pay and they will. It's Trump and Dan and they're doing the same thing here and they run one of the hospitals it's the one in punta Gorda. And it's loaded with stuff they took an information on where they put things.

Hellboy is actually Dan AKA Dave and goes to the hospital and it's one of his girls and well it's his wife sister. Alicia. And she's in the hospital and wants to stay there he says you're nuts you don't look normal you're not well and you're not taking your medicine stuff like that he's very doped he took the horns he has them from New Hampshire wants to attach them and he's dope to hell in his possessed and doesn't know which one's which but he goes there two or three times and finally convinces her to come out he's yelling at the window and she comes out and he says we're out of here you don't belong in this prison it's dangerous and she hears her son this is the place of death and he says thank you but I got it and so this is a critical part right now it's just starting hearing stuff and it happened to me either officer reaction most people do she heard it too and said you're right they're trying to keep me here and he pulls her by the arm and says come on let's go and he says it's not with the physical values so you let go and he said what would I do should walk with me and nonchalantily and they don't like people making a big deal out of it so they walked out and it's going to happen shortly and she's going to go into this hospital it's near Pasadena outside Los angeles. She goes there because she's the one who is calling us on the body and they think that she might be parasilton mutated and they just want to hold her and threaten for stuff and they're threatening Dan but they haven't apprehended her yet and that's actually the building where Terry cheeseman is burned he goes in there looking for some of his own people and they grab him and toss them in and he went on a rampage and hurt people the wrong ones and it says you're right. So he eventually gets it and starts a different type of series and it's pretty takes on the world and things like that and it's it's really what happens with our son he tries to help these people or get them to do the right thing and it made a huge change he's helping a little then he said no and then he's still getting pushed around a lot it's horrible.

The thing with the race is going to start it's not racist it's really a time to race and it's just a testing and it's like testing out of the Indian motorcycle and we do have prototypes let's see if Matt wants to try them out some of them are big and they go very very fast and they did very well last time and he says of course I will we're going to do it and there might be a new stealth life cycle see if Brad could do it get his head out of his ass

Thor Freya

Olympus

Zues

I'm going to try and do all that and get it out there and see how it goes it's right near the military no and which is good

Hera

[dzpenumbra]

11/12/22

This is like day 3 of me chanting to myself over and over, "take it easy with the soul-work". It's seriously been all I've done for like years now. All day, every day. With some breaks, but those were usually video game binges to get lost in another world for a bit, and I worry about going too far into that when I have to move soon. I lose track of time easily when I'm diving deep into gaming.

So... well... this is soul work, so I need to just cool it with it. I'm too damn emotional and overstressed lately. So positive vibes it is. I want to go skating again very soon, I think I'm going to loosen my trucks a bit and learn how to ride a bit looser. It'll be a new experience and I think it will help with my overall comfort and board control. The more different angles I feel comfortable skating at - toe-edge, heel-edge, pivots, powerslides - the more different angles I will be comfortable landing in. It will help a lot more with run ups and roll aways. So even if I just get to the park with enough time to just cruise around a little, not even doing tricks... it will be hugely beneficial and fun! It'll add a new way of skating, carving, because I always rode super tight trucks and did manuals, stalls, pivots and powerslides. I never carved at all. I'd just pivot instead. I think it will help not just with all the above, but actually... it might help my posture too. Because I probably need to relearn how to hold my body when carving turns, like center-of-balance shit, and that will help me keep my natural default posture at a more healthy place. So... pretty excited for that! Now I just need to get to the skatepark before like... 4:30... Because it's dark at like just past 5:15 or some shit and it's just like... dude...

No art done today. But I might be able to get some beeswax to mess around with making my own incense infused sealant for wooden beads. I did play drums today though and gat-fuckin-dayum is it really nice to just open up Cubase, add a virtual instrument, choose Kontakt, double click the drum set, choose the exponential articulation curve, set my map, turn on my drum kit and I'm 100% good to go as long as I like with no problems. It's like... finally! I improvised with a MrSuicideSheep playlist from a year or so ago. It was fun. I missed playing drums. Another thing I need to fix my posture on, I hope I can get someone to help me with that soon.

So yeah. I have some final stuff to do with forms and shit, and a car inspection to really hope they get done. I'm really stressed about that. And I'm going to meet at the new building to get the keys and check out some stuff at the new place sometime next week. I need to follow up on that, I've just been... really scared, honestly. Like never this scared of moving before in my life. I hate it. I used to be so confident. And it really feels like an ignorance is bliss kinda thing. Like "I'll just get on a plane and move halfway across the country because I used to smoke weed with you in highschool and you called me your friend." Many times like that, most of my moves in life. They were innocence, naivete; in ways I miss it, in ways I really don't.

Now, I commit to having learned from these mistakes. I have gotten very harsh with myself. I can't slip up, I can't trust the wrong person, I can't make mistakes. I'm "smarter than that". I --- I'm doing fucking soul-work again. Fucking hell, see?! All day everyday, it's this! XD

All it took was mentioning chores and down the rabbithole I go. So I'm just gonna let that thought go down the river and I'll catch up with it when it comes back around tomorrow. No clue what's on the docket for tomorrow, we'll see how it goes, hopefully I can do something fun.

Oh, I wanted to add a good perspective I gave myself. I have a good relationship with my current landlords, and I'm sure they'd be cool with me taking my time with the move. So I really don't need to stress about packing and rushing everything to the new place. I want to really pace myself and adjust. It still doesn't feel real, I haven't even seen the damn place in person yet and I'm officially moving in in less than a week. So, since I'm super emotional lately, I'm gonna go baby steps with this one. I hiked like 30 miles barefoot with a giant rucksack on, I went on a solo-road trip, I flew to Vegas with no hotel room, and now... I'm going to very slowly dip my toes into moving to a new place. And I'm not going to judge myself for that, I'm going to be compassionate and gentle. It takes a lot of pain to transform someone like that. And I should be as compassionate with myself as I would be with others like me. So, big positive note, I'm going to pace myself. And I should be good and settled in up there by Thanksgiving.

But right now, I want to really just leave a nice warm thought in my head before bed. I have been really nervous about making music. I keep avoiding it. So tomorrow, I want to just make weird noises and record an actual song. It's been too long, like 3-4 years. Who knows, something really cool might come out of it. :D Maybe hip-hop, maybe metal, maybe weird experimental world music, maybe just a collection of incoherent noises. No matter what, it's going to be fun!

[from-a-reckless-writer]

RE: the tags about being tempted to post a half finished fic and guess the ending, well you are a reckless writer for a reason

this is long overdue, so here have a fic.

It has come to the point that nothing fazes her anymore.

A kidnapping? Been there, done that. It means calling Sam Arias to intimidate the board of members into temporary submission.

An explosion at the office? Just a typical Tuesday. It means relocating to the 23rd floor and sharing the desk with two other interns for 2 months tops.

An assassination attempt? It means bracing herself for at least 3 deliveries of donuts and coffee for the two following weeks that Kara Danvers would be protectively hovering over L-Corp, until her boss snaps and shoos her away back to CatCo.

She’s seen it all, endured it all and she sure as hell is prepared for it all. She’s got three different ironclad statements ready to publish for whatever PR disaster will most likely turn up that week. She’s got contacts from the FBI, DEO, CatCo, Daily Planet, Gotham Gazette-- hell she even has Lillian’s personal cell (just in case the Luthor matriarch ever tries anything y’know? ) and yes, even the number of that 'Mexican place at 5th and Spring, you know the one Kara likes, Jess?'

She’s got two pairs of heels, a raincoat and four sets of outfits neatly folded in a duffel bag, at the back of the office, reserved for any emergency that requires a change of clothes.

The point is, she is an independent Asian-American woman who has worked her ass off for the better part of the decade and has long learned to take no shit from anybody.

Not even stupid superpowered Kryptonians.

See, it takes a lot to be her. It takes unlimited patience to put up with a woman like Lena Luthor, not because she’s a terrible person. Oh no, no, the complete opposite, actually. She is so overwhelmingly kind to a fault, and she doesn’t want nor let anybody see it. It’s infuriating to see sometimes. Okay, fine, she sides with the Krytonian on that one matter. But oh, ho, ho, not today. Today, she’s mad.

She’s livid, actually and it’s all Supergirl’s fault. (and Lena Luthor's too.)

Jess has had her fair share of ‘I-Should-Not-Have-Been-Here’ moments, like that one time she forgot to knock and stumbled unto Lex mid-yell with Lena whose eyes were shimmering but was still keeping a rigid posture.

Or that one time when she thought her boss had long left the office, only to be greeted with quiet sobs and an empty bottle of scotch rolling on the floor. Or that time she happened upon Lena, skirt and sleeves on fire with fumes rising from a green solution.

Apparently, her staff from the lab refused to let her in after three days of their CEO holding herself in isolation with the experiment. Lena had gotten the great idea of smuggling the chemicals to her office instead. Luthors are nothing but determined. Jess still remembers the adrenaline rush of holding a fire extinguisher—as if she were the chosen 5th grader for a school fire drill—and shoving her boss out of the way.

Like she said, nothing fazes her anymore she’s seen it all, except maybe, this one. Yep, definitely this one. This one just made a hot ball of fury unfurl at her very core. This one might just take the cake.

Jess was just going about her day, returned from a hearty lunch and feeling reinvigorated from that dose of sunlight and fresh air. It was a quiet day today, she noticed, which should’ve been a foretelling.

Nothing really is ever quiet. Well, when it comes to L-Corp, at least.

She’s been sitting on her desk for about a good fifteen minutes and finished with screening a few papers from their new contractors, when it occurs to her that the latest blueprints from R&D are still on her desk instead of already being reviewed by her boss.

She grabs the drawing tube and quickly makes for her boss’s private office. They’ve spent enough time with each other that Jess could just come and go as she pleases, instead of having to knock each time. Saves both of their time, that way.

Although, usually, she buzzes through the intercom first to double check, but it was 1:20 P.M and she knows Lena doesn’t have anything scheduled after lunch. So, she pushes the door, confidently strolls in and promptly stops in her tracks.

Jess stops breathing for a moment, blinks once, twice, stares at the scene before her.

Lena Luthor sat atop her work desk; blouse open, eyes closed, cheeks flushed, neck currently being ravaged by Supergirl with legs wrapped around the waist.

She probably should’ve just turned and left while they haven’t seen her yet. That would’ve been the smart decision, right? Yes. Yes, it was so very clearly The Right Decision.

Of course, she doubts she could look Lena in the eye for the next few weeks after that, but at least she wouldn’t know that Jess walked in on them during an er- make-out session? Office tryst? Oh God, she shudders internally. It sounds even worse.

Incident? Yep. Yeah. She’s sticking with incident. Indecent incident sounds more apt really.

She should’ve left. Would have left, if her eyes didn’t just land on the desk—well, more like Miss Luthor’s as- backside—and felt the stirrings of rage make itself known. Because there, underneath Lena’s ass (Backside!! Jess, that’s your boss!) is the squished—probably crumpled—pages of a contract.

A contract they’ve spent 5 months securing!!

Jess decides to do what everyone else would have done in a situation such as this; she clears her throat. Loudly.

Classic move.

Supergirl’s head immediately shoots up and Lena’s eyes snap open.

“Jess!” Supergirl squeaks and she sees the exact moment the realization hits Lena. Her eyes widening at her girlfriend’s exclamation, whips her head to the side, spots Jess, hands scrambling to a panic to close all the buttons of her blouse.

She hears Lena hiss, “Fuck, shit. Oh my God. Shit. How did she even- You have superhearing!!!” as she pushes Supergirl—who lets herself be pushed, stunned by the intrusion, face redder than a tomato.

Lena gets off the desk, fixes herself all the while to futile results. Her hair is tugged down from her usual ponytail, her neck and chest is marked, her lips swollen.

Supergirl's hands twitch at the sides and Jess sees her gulp as blue eyes frantically dart to Lena and her, and then Lena, and then back to her.

Lena finally turns around after those few awkward beats.

"Jess," she begins, clearly trying hard to put on her business bitch persona, but come on, there's a hickey under her jaw for fuck's sake.

"It's not what you-"

Jess doesn’t let her finish, she stomps her way across the office and forcefully puts the drawing tube on the desk. It makes a hollow thump.

“Jess I-”

“Supergirl, do you know how long it takes to finalize a business proposal, pitch it to the board, persuade the board and finally have a contract drawn?”

Supergirl gulps again. Lena’s eyes are wild next to her, she doesn’t like not knowing what the next best move is, Jess knows this all too well.

“Uhhh- no?”

Jesus Christ, you’d think after years of shadowing Cat Grant, she'd had at least learned a thing or two. Then again, if somebody is full on glaring at her after getting caught red-handed, Jess doubts she could answer coherently too.

“That’s right,” Jess says, “You don’t.”

“Jess,” Lena repeats pointedly. She knows that tone. It’s a warning.

“Ms. Luthor.”

A period not a question mark. It’s a challenge.

"I've spent all my evenings working late on that, do you know how many dates I've had to cancel? Just so I can secure a meeting with Qatar and simultaneously sync it with Beijing's time? My boyfriend hasn't seen me in two weeks!” Jess bursts out.

“Two weeks, Supergirl!” She gets close enough to jab a finger to the Girl of Steel’s chest. A feat she will gladly tell all her coworkers later when she’s calmed down enough.

“Not to mention, the 10 other people who worked their ass off trying to make sure that Miss Luthor's presentation is airtight, bulletproof and waterproof!” Lena has the decency to look a little guilty at this point, nothing big though, just a slight tug at her lips, but it was enough for Jess.

“IT TOOK ME 3 FUCKING MINUTES TO PRINT THAT GODDAMN CONTRACT WHICH MIGHT NOT SOUND LONG—” Jess raises a finger in emphasis, “BUT BELIEVE ME WORKING IN L-CORP? A 3 MINUTE DIFFERENCE CAN MEAN AN ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT OR PSYCHOPATH PRESS!”

Supegirl of all people should already know this! For fuck’s sake!

Jess’s chest is heaving. She takes a deep breath, kneads her knuckles to her eyelids, “So, please if you're gonna have sex in the office, please, pleaseeeee clear the desk first. And at least, lock the door.”

She stares them both down, till Lena gives her a solemn nod; cheeks and ears still red. Supergirl squeaks out an, “U-understood, Ma’am.”

“Good. Glad we’ve come to an agreement.” Jess gives them one final nod before finally fulfilling what she came in here to do, “Miss Luthor,” She turns to Lena, “here are the R&D blueprints. Good day, to you Supergirl. I'll be going now. "

When she finally goes home, tells her boyfriend, and wonders aloud if she’ll still have a job the next morning, he tells her she’s such a badass.

And well, Jess can’t disagree with that.

*****

"Did I just- Did I just get yelled at by your secretary?? D-did she just chew us out?"

"She did, and she deserves a raise."

[gukyi]

the love project | jjk

summary: from running to mcdonald’s at 3am after a halloween party where the two of you dressed up as the teletubbies to timing how long it takes for him to drink a cup of monster mixed with mountain dew and iced coffee and then do fifty push-ups, you’re used to your best friend jungkook asking you to do all sorts of crazy things. but, of all the shit the two of you do, letting him follow you around for a week with a camera and take candid photos of you for a photography assignment might just be the craziest of them all.

{college!au, friends to lovers!au}

pairing: jeon jungkook x female reader genre: fluff, comedy word count: 12k warnings: college antics, hopeless pining, slow burn a/n: me: this fic will be 10k max! also me: actually nevermind on par for the course of this blog, i hope you enjoy this fic! it was so much fun to write and it definitely got me back into the ~writing mood~. more fics coming soon!

These days, the weeks pass you by like trains on a platform. They whiz past you, the only discernible features being the beginning and the end of them, with the middle nothing but a blur. 

At least, that’s how it feels when you’re in college, and the days bleed into weeks bleed into months, and suddenly you’re one year closer to graduating, one year closer to figuring out what next to do with your life, even if you’re still missing that one general education requirement you forgot to take in your first year so now you’re trying to cram it into your schedule at the last minute.

Okay, you’ll admit it. Introduction to Astronomy is kicking your ass. That’s what you get for putting it off until junior year, when you’re supposed to have reached the point in your History major career where you don’t have to look at numbers anymore and the idea of doing basic math is absolutely unfathomable. History majors don’t do math. They just don’t. It vanished from your academic arsenal long before now, alongside your ability to interpret word problems and understand science textbooks. 

Perhaps in another universe, you would have actually retained those skills past high school, but that universe is not this one, and so your problem sets can solve themselves or not be solved at all. 

Your best friend would have to disagree.

“It’s not even calculus!” Jungkook exclaims over a mouthful of a Starbucks tomato and pesto panini, pointing to your laptop in exasperation, as if the answer has been staring you in the face for the past fifteen minutes. “It’s just algebra! All you’re doing is plugging the numbers into the formula and finding the missing variable!”

“Easy for you to say,” you huff, furiously erasing at the notebook in front of you as you get yet another incorrect answer. Who knew math could be so difficult? Oh, that’s right. You did. “You took that advanced differential equations class for fun last year. It’s not even required for your major. You’re just a masochist.”

“Says the person who convinced their advisor to let them take seven classes because they, and I quote, ‘all seemed so interesting’ and you ‘didn’t want to miss out.’” Jungkook rebukes pointedly. “Because your life would be so terrible if you didn’t take Economic History of Pre-Industrialized Europe.”

He’s got you there. Seven classes is a lot. In your defense, Economic History of Pre-Industrialized Europe was very interesting and you got a 4.0 that semester. So who is he to judge? Jungkook’s favorite pastime is pretending that taking three different computer science classes in a single semester isn’t going to single-handedly kill him.

Jungkook watches you struggle for a few moments more before he sighs, like he can’t take looking at someone so mathematically incompetent any longer. He stuffs the remaining third of his Starbucks panini into his mouth all at once like the ravenous beast he is before he reaches over the tiny table you’re sat at to look at your problem set himself. He turns your laptop towards him and grabs hold of your notebook, furrowing his eyebrows as he enters Work Jungkook Mode. 

Work Jungkook Mode is the mode of him you see most often during finals week or the rare occasions where you meet up to actually try and get work done. Work Jungkook has tunnel vision for whatever assignment is currently in front of him, which he will do either in one sitting or die trying. Work Jungkook lets his coffee get cold and forgets to answer your text messages, even when you’re sat right across from him and you know that he can see the notification on his laptop. Work Jungkook refuses to turn in anything that he hasn’t devoted his entire being to, even if it’s something as simple as a discussion board post. Some of his other friends say that when Jungkook is in Work Jungkook Mode, they won’t even try to contact him, lest their messages get lost in the flurry of his coding assignments. 

But you are not “some of his other friends.” You are his best friend. So rules do not apply to you. And Jungkook has long accepted that fact.

“Hey, don’t mess up my work—” You exclaim defensively, grabby hands reaching over the table to retrieve your notebook. “Wait, how did you do that?”

Jungkook scribbles something down in nearly-illegible font, determined to solve the problem in front of him. He thinks for a few more seconds before eventually jotting down an answer, circling it with his pencil. Holding the notebook out so both of you can see, he scoots his chair over to your side of the table, your shoulders pressed together in this tiny corner of the Starbucks, right by the bathroom, and explains, step by step, what he did. 

He does that for the following two problems in your set, walking you through the kind of math he was doing in freshman year of high school like it’s nothing, answering all of your stupid questions and giving you tips on how to finesse the system by taking as many shortcuts as possible. Teaching you things you never learned, or possibly had just forgotten. Things that a professor would think is idiotic to re-teach to a junior in university. Things that Jungkook wants you to know because he just wants you to have a little more faith in yourself. 

“Does that help?” He asks when he’s finished, still doubting his fantastic teaching abilities despite the fact that he just taught you more in the last thirty minutes than your professor has managed in a month and a half. 

“It actually does,” you tell him, pleasantly surprised. Looking back down at your notebook, what was once a shapeless blur of numbers, letters, and formulas is suddenly a clear and organized outline of each and every step to follow. “I didn’t know it was that easy.”

“Anything can be easy if you just commit yourself to learning how to do it,” Jungkook says, one of those random sentences that are too wise for a college student surviving off of RedBull and Starbucks food, the ones that always make you think Jungkook is secretly an immortal sage with life experiences far beyond your own. “Except coding. Which is hard no matter how good you are at it.”

“Aw, you can do it,” you rally, reaching up to pinch his chin in between your fingers and squeeze it tight. “It’s also too late to change your major now, so you’re stuck.”

“Wow, thanks for the encouragement,” Jungkook chides, hand coming up to rub at where you held his jaw, rolling his eyes. “You should let me help you with your Astronomy work more often. Gives me a break from Python.”

“I would have made you help me whether you liked it or not,” you tell him pointedly, because he is your best friend and he doesn’t get out of things as easily as he thinks he can. “But thanks. I’ll definitely take you up on that.”

“Of course,” Jungkook says with a good-natured grin, always so selfless and kind and giving. He practically signed himself up for a semester’s worth of TA-ing for Introduction to Astronomy despite the constant mountain of work he has himself. Just because it’s you. 

“My very own personal genius,” you muse, wrapping your hands around his arm and snuggling into his body, a whisper of a language only the two of you share. It’s something the two of you have long gotten used to, pressing your fingers all over each other’s bodies like it’s second nature. One of the things that makes you feel so certain about having Jungkook in your life. About wanting him to stay with you for the rest of time. “I’m never letting you go.”

Jungkook smiles, a warm hand coming to rest atop of your own. He breathes, in and out, chest rising beneath your touch. “Like I’d ever let you,” he says.

There is no question about it. Jungkook is one hundred percent, absolutely, undoubtedly, positively, indisputably smarter than you are. It’s something that the two of you used to jokingly fight about (because Jungkook claims that he’s a bad essay writer, even though he’s not), but at this point it’s cemented in stone—he’s a damn genius. A genius who is inexplicably good at everything. A double threat. Triple, if you count the fact that he��s built beyond belief and could probably chuck you into next week if you really, really ticked him off. 

The truth is that, ninety percent of the time it is you who is going to Jungkook for help. Whether it be an assignment you need assistance on (namely Astronomy, because Jungkook probably couldn’t help you on your Mesopotamian artifact and primary source analyses despite his best intentions), a date that was a lot worse than you were hoping it would be, or even just the right coffee to order from that expensive place on the corner. Jungkook knows how to fix everything. 

So when Jungkook slides into the seat across from you in the food court after his Mastering Photography class with that I’m in trouble look on his face, you know something is horribly wrong. 

“Are you alright?” You ask, concerned as you watch him devour the sushi takeout in front of him, stuffing the spicy tuna rolls into his mouth like they’re Skittles. His camera hangs haphazardly out of his open backpack, like he barely had enough time to stuff it into the pocket while he was making his way here. There’s a worried expression written all over his face as he fumbles with the chopsticks in his hand, losing his grip on them every ten seconds. 

It’s not until Jungkook has finished the container of spicy tuna rolls in front of them that he finally seems to work up the courage to answer you. 

“My Photography class is gonna be the death of me,” Jungkook exclaims, exasperated. 

“I thought you liked it,” you comment unhelpfully. Jungkook had been so excited to be enrolled in it, because you needed a recommendation from a different professor and you had to submit a portfolio in order to join the class, making it one of those exclusive (and thus, much better) courses. Not to mention the fact that Jungkook is basically already a professional photographer if his Instagram is anything to go by. He’s going to walk out of university with a Photography minor whether he realizes it or not.

“I do,” Jungkook insists, even if right now it sounds like the two of you both need convincing of that fact. “But this project is ridiculous. I don’t even know how my professor expects us to have the time to finish it.”

“What do you have to do?”

Jungkook sighs. Just thinking about it seems to stress him out. “I mean, it’s only really a week long. So I guess it’s not too bad. But we’re supposed to compile a portfolio of the same subject, taken over the course of the week, with them in all sorts of different poses and lighting and locations, to express a personal theme.”

You scrunch your nose up in confusion. “I might be wrong, but isn’t that what photography… is?” You ask cluelessly. 

“Yes,” Jungkook argues, “but also no. Photography is taking pictures of things just for the hell of it. Not because they necessarily speak to a part of your soul. You just like the look of it. You want to capture the scene. That’s it.”

“Oh,” You say dumbly. 

“And our subject can be whoever or whatever we want, but he recommended choosing a person because taking pictures of our water bottles in different places is boring,” Jungkook huffs, though his professor does have a point there. Modern history wasn’t made out of photographs of store windows and miscellaneous items. It was made out of people, out of events in their lives that shaped the rest of the world, out of personal experiences that changed their point of view. “But I don’t even know anybody who would be willing to let me photograph them for a whole week! I’d basically have to follow them around like paparazzi!”

“I’ll do it,” you suggest casually, because it seems like the most obvious choice to you. There’s no one Jungkook spends as much time with as you. 

Jungkook’s eyes pop out of his head. “What?”

“I’m serious,” you insist. “Think about it. You need a subject for your project that you can photograph in a wide variety of places and over the course of a week. Who else do you spend that much time with, other than me?”

“Well..” Jungkook begins, trying to fight your reasons with his own. “Would you even be comfortable with something like that? I mean, I’m literally going to constantly be taking photos of you.”

“Like we don’t already do that on our phones,” you tease, having amassed quite the album of terrible Jungkook pictures over the years. 

“A camera is different from a phone,” Jungkook protests weakly. 

“Yeah, yeah, I know. But I’m just saying. It won’t bother me,” you say with a shrug. Why is Jungkook being so… weird about your suggestion? You thought he would be jumping at the offer, especially considering it means he won’t have to go out of his way to find and photograph someone else for this assignment. But he’s being rather hesitant. You watch as he glares down at his empty sushi takeout box, eyebrows furrowed in that thick, nervous way. “But you don’t have to,” you backtrack. “It was just a suggestion.”

He breathes in and breathes out, expression solid. Even from here you can see the cogs whirring in his brain, placing each and every potential result into a pro and con list inside his mind, trying to work out whether the benefits will be greater than the cost. 

Quite frankly, you don’t know what all the holdup is about. 

“You’re… sure about this?” He asks, looking up at you, determined to ensure your comfort. As if that’s even an issue. “You’re cool with being photographed and everything?”

“Only because it’s you,” you tease lightheartedly, expecting some sort of equally cheesy response. Instead, it makes Jungkook do something weird. He freezes in place, darting his eyes away from your gaze for a split second, collecting thoughts you can’t see. “Yeah,” you say loudly, trying to bring him back. “I’m fine with it.”

He inhales, exhales, closes his eyes, and opens them. “Okay then. I guess it’s settled. You’ll be my subject,” he declares, an almost unnoticeable wobble to his voice. It’s probably nothing, so you don’t think too hard about it.

“Can you at least pretend to be a little more excited about this?” You ask, jabbing him in the chest with a wooden chopstick. “It’s the first time we’ve ever gotten to be part of a project together!”

“Yay,” Jungkook says, lifeless. 

“How about a photo to commemorate it?” You suggest, reaching over to pull the camera out of his backpack, pushing it into his hands. “This can be the start of your portfolio.”

“Fine,” he eventually caves, bringing it up to his eye as he turns it on, twisting the lens to perfect the focus. Even caught off guard like this, he looks like a professional, like someone who was born to be behind the camera. He’s a computer science major but you know that photography will always be something special to him.

You strike a dramatic pose, holding your chopsticks out, one in each hand, with a wide, excited smile on your face. “How do I look?” You ask, scrunching your eyes together. 

Jungkook’s finger hovers over the silver button. “Perfect,” he tells you, voice soft and honest. 

Click.

“So, how many photos are you supposed to take for this portfolio?” You ask as you flop around on Jungkook’s bed, pretending that the open tab on your laptop with your fifty-page reading doesn’t exist. You don’t even know why professors assign readings that long. Do they really expect you to read all of it?

From across his room, you can make out the top of Jungkook’s fluffy brown hair over his sleek gaming chair, one of the ones that look like high-tech airplane seats. “I don’t know,” he says. “He said at least twenty. And no more than fifty. Which really makes me wonder if someone once submitted like, one hundred photos for this project that he had to grade them on. But yeah.”

“That doesn’t sound too bad,” you say. When you’re around a cute animal, you can easily take twenty photographs. Granted, they aren’t exactly award-worthy photographs, but it’s not a physically demanding task. 

“Yeah,” Jungkook says. “Hypothetically you could finish it in a day. But it looks really obvious.”

“Well, how many do you have now?”

It’s been a day and a half since Jungkook agreed to let you be his so-called muse, but already you’ve lost track of how many photos he’s taken of you. He loves his camera, you know that, but you didn’t realize exactly how much he loves his camera. And with you as the sole subject for his project, he’s practically letting it hang from his neck all day long, just waiting for the right time to snap a photo of you standing in line at the food court, frowning at your textbook, or waiting to meet up with him. Every time he sees you he snaps a picture, even if the lighting’s bad, even if you haven’t had your morning coffee yet, even if it’s midnight and you look like a zombie. In his mind, there are no bad pictures. Just memories.

You wonder what the hell he sees in you. 

“A lot,” Jungkook answers unhelpfully, making no effort to elaborate on that statement. 

“Have you counted?” You ask, getting off of his bed to join him at his desk. 

Jungkook doesn’t seem to realize what you’re doing until you’re standing right next to him, placing a hand over his shoulders as you lean down next to him. He fumbles around for a second, the mouse slipping through his grip, and you catch a glimpse of one of the photos he’s taken of you, a sliver of your pursed lips, the wrinkles between your eyebrows. 

It’s from the library yesterday. You didn’t even know Jungkook had taken a picture of you there. You had a stupid reading to complete last night, one that made no sense and was terribly-written, and you spent an hour just trying to figure out what the damn argument was, and Jungkook captured it. You were there for an hour and Jungkook was there too, watching you like it was nothing, waiting for the perfect moment. He was there, sitting across from you, camera at the ready. You didn’t even hear it click. 

He closes it before you get a closer look at the photo, frantically hitting the little red dot at the top corner of the window before you have a chance to ask why. 

“What, I’m not allowed to see?” You chide, a little bit hurt but more confused than anything else. Why is Jungkook being so secretive?

“No,” Jungkook spits quickly. making you raise an eyebrow in alarm. “I mean, it’s a surprise. You get to see when it’s finished. I still have to… uh, edit. And stuff.”

“Edit? You think I’m that ugly?” You tease, knowing that he probably means color correction but enjoying the way that he gets all flustered when he hears your voice.

Jungkook’s eyes widen at that, like he just realized he made a wrong turn and is desperately backtracking. “What, no! I don’t—I don’t think you’re ugly.”

You laugh, letting the sound of your voice ease the tension in his shoulders, reveling in the way his big doe eyes seem to soften when he realizes you were just teasing. He looks like a kid caught stealing a candy bar from a gas station, looks like one of those boyfriends in the viral videos where the girl reveals that she got him a present or something instead, all nervous and full of explanations. 

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” you assure him, rubbing up and down his arm to soothe him, calm his heart down. “You don’t have to show me. I’m just excited. No one’s ever taken photos of me like this before.”

“I would,” Jungkook speaks up softly. “If you asked. I would.”

“I know,” You say. You’re not sure if there’s a thing in this world Jungkook wouldn’t do for you, and you, him. If he asked, you would pluck the stars from the sky for him. Bring him back a piece of the moon. Stop time. Anything. Everything. Just for him. “I know.”

 “What are you doing?” Jungkook asks, changing the topic as he whirls around in his gaming chair. 

“Just another reading, like always,” you dismiss, because you’re positive the last thing Jungkook wants to hear about right now is your primary source reading on irrigation techniques in agrarian Europe. You don’t even want to hear about it. “But I could use some help on Astronomy.”

Without another word, Jungkook gets up from his desk and the two of you head over to his bed, where an untouched problem set waits on your computer. He grabs a notebook from his backpack along the way before sitting down next to you on the edge of his bed, bodies pressed together. Slowly, he begins to coach you through each problem, step by step, drawing pictures and diagrams if he has to, until you finish all ten problems. 

The truth is, you didn’t really need help with this unit. Astronomy’s gotten a lot easier now that Jungkook has taught you the strategies to tackle it. But Jungkook sometimes feels like a ghost when he works, especially when he’s sitting at his desk, quiet and focused and almost invisible. And call you clingy, but you like it when you can look up and see his face instead of the back of a chair, a little tuft of wavy brown hair. You like it when he’s right beside you, in a place where you know you won’t lose him, where you can hold on if things get rough. Where you can see his stupid brown eyes and his goofy smile and know that he’ll always be there for you. 

When he’s finished, Jungkook doesn’t get back up to sit at his desk. He flops down on his back, staring up at the white ceiling of his room, eyes tracing the cracks. You join him, side by side, pretending that there’s something there. Looking up at the sky would be nicer, but it doesn’t really matter, so long as you’re with him.

“I didn’t know you took so many photos,” you say.

“I never want to miss anything.”

“You should give me more warnings, next time. I feel like I look so ugly in some of them.”

“No, you don’t. Don’t say stuff like that.”

“You don’t think I’m ugly?” You ask him, for real this time. It’s not that you think he’s going to say that he does, it’s that you want to know what he really thinks. How he really sees you. You turn your head to him, back pressed against his comforter, barely a foot apart. And he turns back to you, and he’s right there, right there in front of you, big brown eyes wide and blinking. He’s right there, how could you miss him?

“No,” Jungkook says, honest and true. He looks at you, looks right at you, right into you, and he muses to himself, chuckling. “Why would I ever think that?”

At the end of the day, you can’t really be bothered to put on real pants in anticipation of Jungkook’s trigger-happy camera-taking tendencies. He’s seen you spill a boiling hot bowl of tomato soup all over yourself in the dining hall. He’s seen you at four in the morning in the library the night before finals begin, eyebags down to your knees and mismatched shoes on your feet. He’s seen you in the middle of a frat house, sweat dripping down your forehead and smelling of nothing but straight alcohol. Getting dressed up just for him would be antithetical to the very foundation of your friendship. 

You have, however, become keenly more cognizant in the last few days of when Jungkook is about to take a photo of you. Mostly because you glance up at your surroundings every three seconds to make sure you aren’t getting sniped from across the food court. Nobody else needs to see a picture of you picking up three pieces of sushi with your chopsticks and stuffing them all into your mouth at once. And, from what you can tell, you’ve been pretty successful, which either means you’ve gotten better at telling when Jungkook might be taking a photo of you, or Jungkook’s gotten better at hiding it. 

Either way, he’s got a lot more pictures of you reflexively flashing a peace-sign in his direction when you hear the telltale sound of his camera lens focusing, so you’re not really sure what that means for the fate of his portfolio. 

Besides your newfound hyper-awareness of the sound of a camera lens adjusting, the strangest part of you and Jungkook’s little project is how quickly the rest of your friends adjusted to this brand new dynamic. 

This is not to say this assignment is the weirdest thing you and Jungkook have done together, because there was once one week where you and Jungkook challenged each other to only eat bananas for every meal to see if anything would happen to either of you. Nothing did, but after that week you swore off bananas for the rest of your life and have had little appetite for them since. 

It’s more that your other friends have just accepted the fact that ridiculous, extravagant shenanigans are a necessary part of you and Jungkook’s relationship and have simply chosen not to question them anymore. At least, most of them have. 

“So, how’s you and Jungkook’s little photography fling going?” Maisie asks, and even through the phone you can hear the way she’s wiggling her eyebrows. 

“It’s not a fling, and it’s fine,” you hiss back, trying to keep your voice down as you pack up your belongings, phone pressed between your ear and your shoulder. “Stop speaking so loudly, everyone else in the library can probably hear you.”

“Good, because they’ve all probably noticed the way Jungkook’s been following you around like an unrestrained fanboy for the past four days taking pictures of you,” Maisie says pointedly, voice so sharp it causes you to look around at the other tables to make sure no one’s listening in. 

You frown, hoping your deadpan expression is audible through the phone. “It’s not like that and you know it.”

“Don’t you think it’s even a little strange that you’ve given Jungkook full permission to take photos of you like you’re a model and he’s some sort of weird, professional paparazzi?” You can practically see Maisie’s face in front of you, all wide eyes and raised eyebrows as she makes her point.

“No, it’s what we agreed on,” you remind her for the umpteenth time. There’s nothing weird about this. You’re helping him with a project, what more could it be? “Jungkook needed someone to take pictures of for his photography project and I thought it would be a good idea if I was that someone.”

“Hmm… wonder why…” Maisie trails off, deliberately vague and suggestive all at once. 

“You’ve been going on about this ever since Jungkook and I met, Maise,” you say with a roll of your eyes, tossing your backpack over your shoulder. “You know that Jungkook and I are just friends. Like we have always been.”

“Friends that take candid photos of each other under the guise of a project,” Maisie adds, and you can see the air quotes around the word “project” right in front of you.

“Friends that help each other out because that’s what friends do,” you correct. “You’re just going to have to accept the fact that Jungkook and I are always going to be just friends and nothing more. No matter how much money you’ve bet on us getting together.”

Maisie gasps. “I have not bet money on such a thing! This is slander!”

“Don’t think I don’t see you and Jimin’s damn Venmo history.” You pull up to the front desk of the library to check out a primary source book needed for one of your classes. It’s the first edition, and it’s battered beyond belief, but it’s better than paying for it. “Just this, thanks.”

“The only way you could convince me that you and Jungkook are just friends is if you go on a date or something,” Maisie comments snidely. “I don’t think I’ve seen either of you romantically interested in someone else the entire time you’ve known each other. Isn’t that proof enough?”

“You want me to go on a date with someone?” You demand, determined to get Maisie to hop off your ass about this. 

You and Jungkook are just friends. If swiping right with someone on Tinder and getting dinner and a movie with them is what will convince Maisie of that, then that is what you will do. It’s not as if being friends with Jungkook is mutually exclusive with you going out with other people. Should be easy, right? 

The boy behind the counter tells you your book is due back at the end of the semester, and you nod your thanks before heading out of the library.

“Fine, I’ll go on a date with someone. If it’ll get you to stop trying to convince me that Jungkook and I are gonna get married and have babies,” you declare, pushing your body against the door handles as you leave, five minutes to spare before your next class begins. 

“You guys would have really cute babies, I’m just saying,” Maisie points out like it’s nothing. 

You roll your eyes, taking the phone away from your ear as your finger hovers over the red button. “See you, Maise.”

You’re barely three steps out of the library, still rolling your eyes at the Call Ended screen on your phone when a voice catches your attention. 

“Y/N!”

You turn your head just in time to see Jungkook’s devilish grin disappear behind his camera, and you don’t even have time to blink before he begins snapping away, finger mashing the silver button at the top as your expression morphs from surprise to defeat, unable to counter his sniping abilities with a signature peace sign. Even from twenty feet away, you can hear Jungkook laughing as you take the opportunity to pose for a few moments, like you really are a model and he really is your personal photographer. The sound of his giggles fills the air, music to your ears, lingering between you like dandelion wisps, blown by the wind. 

Another voice breaks you from your trance. 

“And here we have our resident celebrity and her paparazzi,” Jimin says, motioning to the two of you as he speaks to an enormous tour group of potential applicants and their parents. Caught in front of them, the heat suddenly rushes to your cheeks as you instinctively cover your face, embarrassed to have been pointed out by Jimin, whose amicable, lovable personality is both a blessing and a curse when it comes to his part-time job as a tour guide. 

The worst part is how some of the parents and students seem to believe him for a second, that you really are famous and that Jungkook really is your photographer, looking at the two of you inquisitively as you shrink beneath their gazes. 

“I’m kidding,” Jimin quickly continues as Jungkook joins you where you stand, laughing at the way you look like a deer caught in headlights. “They’re just some friends of mine who we happened to catch outside the library, which is our next stop. But don’t they look so cute together?”

“Are you guys dating?” One of the students pipes up, asking what no one else dared to. 

Your eyes widen at the notion, wondering if you and Jungkook really are cursed to always be mistaken for a couple when you two have never been, and most likely will never be one. Shaking your head, you force out a laugh, “No, we’re just friends.” Beside you, Jungkook is noticeably silent. You suppose he’s gotten just as sick of explaining as you. 

“Bummer, right?” Jimin asks his group, earning a couple of disappointed nods from innocent high-schoolers that still believe in love. “But I’m working on that, so don’t worry. Anyway, this library will be your main destination for studying, book-reading, and everything in between, and is conveniently located two minutes away from the freshman dorms…”

The conversation finally drawn away from you and Jungkook, you let out a breath you hadn’t even realized you had been holding in. “Weird, right? Even high-schoolers think we’re together.”

Jungkook doesn’t meet your eyes, fiddling with the settings on his camera just to keep his hands busy. The quiet makes you wonder what is going on up inside his head, makes you wonder what it is he’s thinking about, what it is you’re not seeing. Lately, it’s felt like there’s something on Jungkook’s mind you wish he felt comfortable telling you. 

“Hey, you alright?” You ask, giving him a little nudge with your side. “Did I say something wrong?”

“No,” Jungkook says, voice soft, barely audible. It doesn’t make you feel any better. “No, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it. Don’t you have class soon?”

“Oh, shit, you’re right, fuck,” you say, checking your phone only to find you have barely a minute to get to your next class. Guess you’ll be using one of your allotted absences today. “Thanks for reminding me. Dinner tonight?”

“I’ll text you,” Jungkook promises, and you nod your agreement as you dash off, determined to turn a five-minute walk into a one-minute one with the power of exercise. As you leave, you watch as Jungkook flounders outside the library, staring down at his camera and scrolling through his photos, and you still find yourself feeling like you’re missing something. What is Jungkook not telling you? 

What do you not know?

By the time you reach your class, two minutes late and completely out of breath, tardiness is the last thing on your mind.

This project was just meant to be a friend helping out a friend. So why does it feel like you and Jungkook are losing each other?

Using Tinder is easy. Dangerously so.

You’re no expert in app design, but its simplified “yes or no” mechanic has you swiping through people like it’s an extreme sport, barely giving some of them a second glance if their Tinder profile description doesn’t make you laugh within the first sentence. 

Tinder was, admittedly, not your first choice of potential date-finding methods. Call you old-fashioned, but whatever happened to asking someone in person if they wanted to get a meal with you? To showing up at their doorstep with a rose bouquet and a toothy white grin? Perhaps all of those old-timey movies you and Jungkook always watched have given you unrealistic expectations. But can you blame them? 

Even if Tinder wasn’t your first choice, it was certainly the fastest. It takes a second to look at someone’s designated Tinder thumbnail, two to read their description, and three to decide if they’re worth a swipe right. Compare that to actively meeting up with someone, getting their contact information, and then continuing to dance around each other until you finally decide to get dinner together. That’s the sort of thing that could take weeks. Maybe months. And in some cases, years.

Besides, it’s not like you had very many options at your disposal. You don’t trust Maisie to set you up with someone because she’ll probably just choose one of the many boys from her management class and call it a day. Asking someone yourself is absolutely out of the question. And, for some strange, unknown reason, the idea of getting Jungkook to hook you up with one of his friends just doesn’t sit right with you.

So, Tinder it is. And as it turns out, chivalry isn’t dead. It’s just archaic.

An hour into your mindless swiping, you get a message notification. Two hours after that, you’ve got plans with a nice senior boy whom you’ve never met. 

And for the first time in a very long time, there’s something to mark on your calendar for Saturday night.

The little blue block on your Google Calendar tab stares back at you from where your open laptop sits on your desk, the red line that signifies your current time slowly inching towards it as you fumble around in front of your mirror, more dressed up than you have been in weeks. Maisie was right. It’s been so long since you’ve gone out with someone that you’ve completely forgotten what the dress code is for something like this. A dress? Heels? Makeup?

You don’t want to overshoot it, but part of you thinks you will anyway. What if he’s wearing a hoodie and sweats while you look like you’re about to attend the goddamn Academy Awards? Maybe the eyeshadow was a little too much.

You don’t want to overshoot it, but part of you thinks it’s inevitable that you do. The door to your apartment swings open, and you can hear heavy footsteps making their way to your bedroom, that easy gait of his familiar as always.

“Hey, do you think we can just get some take-out and watch a stupid old noir movie, or something? I’ve had a day,” he shouts out, the sigh audible in his voice.

You don’t want to overshoot it, but part of you thinks you definitely have when you turn around to see Jungkook standing right outside your bedroom in the floppiest sweater you’ve ever seen and jeans with holes in the knees, mouth agape as he stares straight at you. It’s impossible not to notice the way his eyes are blown wide at the sight of you, at the way they rake up and down your figure, like he can’t even believe what he’s seeing. It’s impossible not to notice how he seems to flounder at the sight of you.

The only thing that breaks the both of you out of your stupors, frozen in place like two criminals caught red-handed, is the sound of his hulking black backpack thudding to the floor. 

“Whoa.”

“Do you think it’s too much?” You ask, voice wobbly. God, why are you so nervous? It’s just Jungkook. 

“Too much for what?” Jungkook blinks, deliberate and slow, as if he’s determined to make sure his eyes aren’t deceiving him. “Where are you going?”

“I think we’ll have to do a raincheck for the noir movie and takeout,” you say sheepishly, pursing your lips together in fright as you force out a small, tense smile. “I’m… going out. With someone.”

“Like,” Jungkook begins, and even from here you can hear the way he stops himself, hear him breathe out every word, thick on his tongue. “On a date?”

“Yeah.”

It’s a one-syllable word and yet it takes nearly all of your willpower just to say it. Just to confirm what Jungkook’s already thinking. Just to tell him, your best friend, your ride or die, your number one, that you’re going out on a date. 

“Oh.” Jungkook’s voice is lifeless. “Do I know them?”

“No, uh, it’s just some guy I met on Tinder. I don’t know, I just wanted to see what all the hype was about, I guess. And I haven’t really been on a date in a while, so I figured I might just take up the opportunity, so we’re probably just going to go out to a restaurant and maybe go to a club afterwards if we’re still in the mood, and—” You cut yourself off, so nervous that you’ve resorted to your terrible habit of rambling to try and ease the tension. “Why? Do you think it’s too much?”

“You use Tinder?” Jungkook asks instead. It sounds like he’s shocked to hear this. 

“Yeah…” you trail off. “Why?”

Jungkook freezes at the question, but it’s not because it seems like he doesn’t have an answer. It’s because it seems like he does. Only it’s an answer he doesn’t want to share. 

“Nothing, it’s nothing,” he eventually settles on, shaking his head. “You, uh, you look good.”

“You think? I feel like it’s a lot. I don’t know how to dress appropriately for stuff like this anymore,” you ask, palms sweaty as you furiously straighten out the skirt of your dress. “Should I change into pants, or anything?”

“No, no, I think that’s fine,” Jungkook says with an honest smile. “You look nice like this.”

“It’s probably been like, a year since you last saw me in a dress,” you comment mindlessly, turning back to face the mirror as you fiddle with your makeup, finger wiping away a bit of smudged lipstick or a stray bit of mascara. “I miss my sweats. Hey, whoa, wait, what are you doing—?”

You whip around to find Jungkook slowly fishing out the camera from his backpack, hand gripping it tightly as he brandishes it in front of you. 

“I, um, I just wanted to see if I could maybe take a photo of you,” Jungkook says, a small, little grin decorating his features. “Since you’re all dressed up.”

“Seriously?” You ask in disbelief. 

Jungkook nods, holding the camera out in front of him. “Just one.”

He looks so small, standing across your bedroom. He looks so small and delicate and intimate, body curled in on itself ever so slightly as he looks at you, the yellow glow of your ceiling light reflected in his hazelnut eyes, drowning beneath his clothes. He looks like he has never seen a moment more perfect, never seen an opportunity as clear, looks like he thinks that if he blinks he’ll miss it. 

Looks as if a photo will be the only way to remember it. 

And you nod. Because he is your best friend, and who are you to deny him of something so simple? Of a press of a button? It doesn’t feel like a project anymore. It just feels like a memory. 

Jungkook brings the camera to his eye, and you smile at him, soft and gentle and warm. He grins back, focusing the camera lens before snapping away. 

You wonder what he sees. 

(You wonder if it’s as beautiful as what you see.)

“Have fun tonight, okay?” Jungkook asks of you as your Google Calendar notification sounds, letting you know you have approximately two minutes before he’s supposed to pick you up outside your apartment.

You nod. “I will. And if I don’t, then I’ll come over afterwards. And we can watch that stupid noir film.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Jungkook says with a roll of his eyes, a shrug of his shoulders. 

“But I want to. So I will. Okay? I’ll text you,” you promise. “Don’t think I’ll forget about you.”

Jungkook smiles at your little tease, at the way you cup the side of his jaw with your hand as you head towards your front door. 

“Wait, Y/N,” Jungkook sputters out, running after you. He reaches you right as you get to the door, hand grasping the doorknob. You turn to look at him, blinking. “I hope tonight is everything you dreamed of.”

There is something so distinctly sad in his voice. It makes you wonder who has broken his heart. Makes you wonder what you can do to fix it.

“Even if it’s not,” you say to him, taking his hand in your own and squeezing it tight, reminding him that, no matter what, you’re still here. “I know you’ll always be there to take care of me afterwards.”

Your phone buzzes with a message from your date, and you scurry out the door. 

For some reason, there’s a part of you that wishes you never even left. 

The date is okay. Not bad, but nothing to write home about. By the time you finished eating, it was obvious neither of you had any interest in continuing the night elsewhere, whether it be a club or a karaoke bar. He pays for your meal despite your insistence that you can handle the check perfectly fine on your own, thanks you for a nice night, and drops you right back at your apartment. And so goes your one and only Tinder experience, blowing away like a leaf in the wind. 

You look down at your phone. It isn’t even nine o’clock yet. 

[November 7th, 8:48PM]

You: you still game for that movie?

[November 7th, 8:50PM]

Jungkook: you finished your date already?

You: is that a yes or a no

Jungkook: my door is always open, you know that

You: you’re gonna get robbed one day and it’s gonna be by me You: i’m coming over

The walk from your apartment to Jungkook’s is six minutes and thirty seconds on a good day, and seven minutes and fifteen seconds on a bad day, which is usually dependent on if the traffic light over the main road has decided to be extra slow or not. You could walk the damn route in your sleep if you really wanted, having done it so many times in the last year and a half, ever since he moved out of on-campus housing and into his own place.

Tonight, it takes you nearly eight minutes to get to his apartment, but you mostly chalk that up to the heels you’re wearing. If you cared any less about your dignity, you’d probably take them off and walk barefoot like a defeated heroine in a romance movie, shoes dangling from your fingers as they hang low by your side. 

But you aren’t defeated. You didn’t have the world’s most spectacular date, but the night isn’t over just yet. 

Jungkook’s waiting at his front door by the time you arrive. 

“Eight minutes, huh? You’re getting old,” he asks snidely, looking down at the invisible watch on his wrist. 

“Your counting is just off,” you retort easily, falling into that same friendly rhythm, that familiar little beat that the two of you share. You push past him and into his apartment, instantly feeling more at home, shoulders sinking and heartbeat soothing as you soak in the scent of his room, of his home, of him. 

“How’d it go?” Jungkook asks, eyes hopeful as they watch you tug off your heels. They were hardly three inches tall and yet you still want nothing to do with them. 

You shrug. “Eh. It was okay.”

“Just okay?” Jungkook asks, sounding seriously upset for you. Upset that you didn’t have a good night even after you promised him that you would. Upset that it didn’t turn out to be everything you wanted. 

“I don’t know,” you admit, looking over at him, dejected. “It just—I just had this feeling that it wasn’t going to work out.”

Jungkook scowls to himself, eyebrows furrowing like he’s trying to figure out what exactly you mean by that. And the truth is, you’re not sure either. The date was fine, and he was nice, but even when you first met it felt like you weren’t going to get what you wanted from him. Like you were just going on the date to go on the date. Like you already knew that it would mean nothing. 

Jungkook was going to be waiting for you at the end of the night whether it went amazingly well or terribly bad. And knowing that, strangely enough, almost made you want the date to be horrible. Like it would make seeing Jungkook afterwards that much sweeter. 

“Oh,” Jungkook says lamely. “Well, I’m sorry. It seemed like you were really looking forward to it.”

“It’s alright,” you assure him. “Can we just watch this movie now and make fun of how sexist it is? Please?”

To that, Jungkook easily agrees. As he’s queueing up the movie, you raid his closet for a hoodie and sweatpants, desperate to strip yourself of your dress and tights and cozy up in clothes that are much more appropriate for your comfort level. At this point in your friendship, Jungkook doesn’t even question it when he sees you march into his room, fishing through his closet and drawers for your favorite matching set of his, this grey pair that he’s worn so much it still smells like him even after it’s come right out of the wash. 

He only stares back in awe when he sees you emerge from his bedroom wearing them. 

“Ready?” You ask, breaking him from his resolve.

Jungkook blinks wildly from where he’s seated on his dinky old couch, as if to clear his vision. “What? Oh, yeah, I’ve been waiting for you.”

“Then hurry it up, Mister,” you demand, sitting down next to him and curling into his body. It’s instinctual, at this point, wanting to be close to him. To feel the warmth of his body radiate upon your own. To feel his chest beneath the palm of your hands, his arm wrapped around your side. “All good?” You ask, looking up at him. 

Jungkook looks down at you, and you swear, you’ve never seen him more at home. “Always, when I’m with you.”

The movie is predictably good and predictably sexist, but your favorite part by far is when Jungkook reaches around on the coffee table in front of you for his camera, holding it up to his eye and snatching a picture of the television, the film grainy like an old polaroid, faded like an antique photograph. He clicks away at the scene in front of him before turning on you, the lens so close to your face you’re almost certain all he’ll manage to capture is your nose. You laugh, pushing yourself away from him as he snaps, and snaps, and snaps, image after image after image, until his camera battery has died and there’s no more room left on his card. 

“Guess I’ll have to charge this thing, then,” Jungkook sighs as he declares his camera dead, screen black. 

“You aren’t going to include any of those, are you?” You ask, an eyebrow raised. 

Jungkook shrugs. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“Don’t you have enough?” You deadpan, thinking back to the hundreds of photos Jungkook must have taken of you over the past week, and even more that you don’t know about. There’s certainly no shortage of them in his current camera inventory. That’s for sure. 

“Never,” Jungkook says wickedly. He stretches out an open arm, and you don’t have to think twice about falling into it, letting him wrap you up in his hold, curling into his body. 

The black television screen crackles before you, DVD player waiting for Jungkook to turn it off. There’s no need for either of you to look up at each other. Not when you’re strung together like this. Not when you already know exactly where he is. 

“It’s due on Monday, right?” You inquire softly, fatigue slowly overtaking you. 

“Yeah. I’m almost finished, just have to do some curating and editing.”

“I want to see it.”

“What? My project?”

“What else?”

“It’s just a project, it’s not that exciting.”

You pull away from him at that, looking up at him with furrowed brows and scrunched-up nose. “What do you mean ‘it’s not that exciting’? It’s your photography project. You’ve spent a whole week working on it.”

“Yeah, but it’s just you, you know?” Jungkook objects. “Like, you know what you look like. It’s just going to be a bunch of photos of you, like I said it’d be.”

“That’s exactly why I want to see it,” you say like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “You took pictures of me for a whole week. Don’t you want to share them with me?”

“If you really want some of the photos, I’ll send you some, but you don’t need to see the whole portfolio, you know? It’s just for my professor,” Jungkook says stiffly, surprisingly resistant. What’s the big deal? It’s not like there will suddenly be new information about you that you didn’t know before. You want to see what Jungkook has been working tirelessly on this entire week. Where’s the harm in that?

“Why are you getting so hung up on this? It’s just photos,” you say with a frown. 

“Why are you getting so hung up on this?” Jungkook challenges back. 

You sigh, sinking back into him, defeated. Even a little disagreement like that is enough to knock the wind out of the both of you, so you decide not to push it much further. 

“Do you promise to show me eventually?” You ask, hopeful.

Jungkook pauses for a moment, and you almost expect him to say no, considering how protective of his work he’s being. “One day,” he declares. “One day, I will.”

And that’s good enough for you. 

You lose track of how much time passes after that, feeling your eyelids getting heavy as the warmth of his body envelopes you, drowsiness settling in. There’s just something about this moment, right here, right now, that makes you want to fall asleep.

You’re on the verge of slumber when Jungkook’s voice breaks through.

“Why didn’t you think your date would work out?”

“I don’t know,” you respond sleepily, barely even opening your eyes. “It just felt wrong.”

“How do you know what feels right?”

Good question. Perhaps if you had the energy, you’d answer it. But right now, all you can think about is how cozy you feel in Jungkook’s hoodie and sweatpants, how the scent of him surrounds you, that indescribable, boyish aroma that can’t be replicated. Right now, all you can think about is how easily your body molds into his, like two pieces of a puzzle meant to fit together. Right now, all you can think about is him. 

The worst part about each and every week is when it ends. Because the end of one week signifies the beginning of the next, and when you’re in university, the beginning of the next week means a whole new batch of assignments that you have to complete and a whole new batch of due dates to meet. 

So, yeah. The weeks have been blurring together for you lately. But what else could you expect?

Sunday evening, as per usual, finds you right back where you always are: Jungkook’s apartment. 

The two of you have been regularly getting together on Sundays to study, ever since you both realized you work significantly harder when motivated by the other, determined to finish all of your work on time so you can spend the rest of the night fooling around by mixing Monster with as many unhealthy drinks that you can possibly think of. And it’s been working out well for the both of you so far. Jungkook powers through his coding assignments and you whiz through your readings, intent on keeping up to date with your tasks so they don’t all come crashing down on you at the end of the semester. 

Studying with Jungkook has always been easy, largely due to the fact that it’s the one allotted time during your friendship where the both of you deem it best to not speak to each other for the sake of your work. The moment one of you opens your mouth it’s over, so you sit on opposite ends of the room and pretend that the other person isn’t even there. 

Jungkook told you earlier today that he had already finished his photography portfolio, so there would unfortunately be no sneaky glances over his shoulder to see if you can catch a glimpse of one of the pictures. Which is fine by you, you’re just a little embarrassed that Jungkook had told you this outright. Not that you were planning to do exactly that, but you were planning to do exactly that. 

Part of you. more than anything, wants to know why Jungkook won’t just show you himself. Why he’s being so secretive, so protective of his photography project when you both know already exactly what’s in it. For God’s sake, he just spent the entire week taking photos of you non-stop. It’s like not as if any part of this is a mystery to either of you. What more could he have done?

Whatever. You aren’t going to force it if he doesn’t want you to. You suppose that maybe one day, far into the future, he’ll finally decide that the time is right. 

“I’m so fucking tired,” Jungkook declares lifelessly as he gets up from where he’s sitting on your bed, dead inside. “I need a break.”

“Are you going to the kitchen? Can you make me some tea, please?” You ask him, looking up from the laptop on your desk. 

Jungkook nods wordlessly before disappearing out of the room. 

You and Jungkook’s best study practice to maximize productivity is the taking of each other’s cell phones so that the other cannot be tempted to look at it. It’s worked plenty of times before and will probably work plenty of times again, because as they say, out of sight, out of mind. 

Unfortunately, it’s hard to pretend that your phone is out of sight when it’s been buzzing on your bedside table for the past five minutes, and your fingers have been itching to get over there and answer your damn notifications. So, while Jungkook is out of the room, you decide to cheat a little by dashing over there just to see what the heck is going on in the rest of the world. 

As it turns out, nothing much. Just Maisie texting you as she binges yet another television show, giving spoiler-free updates anytime anything remotely dramatic happens. You have a couple of new emails as well. 

The thing that actually catches your attention the most, is Jungkook’s laptop screen. 

There’s just a Word document open on it, but a Word document is a far cry from his usual coding program or Photoshop. Because you can’t help yourself, you peer over to see what he’s written. 

What did you learn about yourself through this assignment? How do you think you’ve changed?

Hard to say that I have. I don’t think I learned something about myself so much as I confirmed what I already knew, cementing it as a real thought in my brain, rather than just a daydream. Nothing changed in the way that my best friend and I interacted, and I can almost confirm that nothing changed in the way that she feels about me, just as nothing changed in the way I feel about her. I guess you could say I learned that I don’t think anything could ever change the way I feel about her. 

What?

Do you think you’ll ever look back on this project, whether it be as a reference or a memory?

Yes. Not as a reference but to remind myself of this very moment in my life—a single week over the course of my life that I felt was worth saving. I imagine that there will come a time, far in the future, where my best friend and I have separated a little bit, found our own lives and created our own families with our own people. And when that happens, I will look back on this project to remind myself of who we used to be. How we used to feel about each other. Maybe, by that point in time, it won’t hurt as much as it does now. 

This feels personal. Maybe you should stop reading. But there’s just one more question left on the page… 

This assignment forced you to create an entire portfolio, from scratch, using a subject you would have to regularly schedule time with. It was demanding. But, that said, would you ever do this again?

Yes. If it meant getting to spend more time with her, take more photos of her, see her smile once more, I would do it a thousand times over. 

“Y/N?”

You hadn’t even heard the kettle whistling. 

“Jungkook,” you say, breathless, caught red-handed. 

“What are you doing?” He asks, placing your steaming cup of tea down on the desk as he stares back at you in horror, in surprise, in worry, in something. Something that gives you this imminent sense of impending doom. 

“Uh—”

“Were you reading my computer screen?”

It’s not like you could say you were doing anything else. 

“I couldn’t help myself, I came over here to check my phone since it’s been buzzing like crazy and your computer was right there and I just…” you sputter out, thoughts swirling inside your head. 

(I will look back on this project to remind myself of who we used to be. How we used to feel about each other. Maybe, by that point in time, it won’t hurt as much as it does now. 

If it meant getting to see her smile once more, I would do it a thousand times over. 

I guess you could say I learned that I don’t think anything could ever change the way I feel about her.)

“What do you mean, how you feel about me?” You ask, because you can’t help yourself. Because the sound of his voices echoes in your head like the beat of a drum, over and over and over. Because you’re staring back at him and even if he just caught you snooping through his computer you can never be worried when it comes to him. Because everything he has ever done puts you at ease. 

“Y/N, that is private, why would you read something like that?” He asks, each word a sucker punch into your heart. 

“Because I just had to know, okay?” You shout back. “I had to know what you were hiding from me.”

“So you decided to snoop through my computer to see if you could figure it out yourself?” He demands, storming over to you. 

“So you are hiding something?”

“That’s not the point, the point is that—”

“What are you not telling me, Jungkook?” You cry out, watching as he approaches you, dark eyes piercing your gaze. “Why won’t you show me your goddamn portfolio? If there’s really nothing to be afraid of, why are you keeping it from me? I’m your best friend, I’m the fucking subject of your project? Don’t I deserve to see it? Why won’t you show me?”

“Because then you’d know!” Jungkook shouts back, leaving deafening silence in his wake. You look up at him, blinking. In front of you, Jungkook is out of breath, chest heaving. 

He looks so strained. So tired. Like he’s been carrying around this secret for months now, maybe even years, and this is the final straw. This is what has sent the both of you crashing down upon each other. This stupid fucking project. You’ve known Jungkook ever since the beginning of your freshman year, and never before have you seen him so hopeless. 

“Jungkook—?”

“You’d know, goddamnit,” Jungkook says, hand coming up to rub at his forehead, dragging down his cheek. “And I wasn’t sure if I was ready for that.”

“Know what? What would I know?” 

Jungkook closes his eyes. Takes a deep breath. Opens them again. “That I’m in love with you.”

The words drift in between the two of you, hovering in the air like feathers. You see them, clear as day, in front of you, hear them echoing in your head, over and over and over again. Feel the way your blood is pumping, the way your heart is beating. 

“You’re in love with me?” You ask him. 

“I didn’t want you to find out this way,” Jungkook admits. “Or at all, really. But I have been, for a while now.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I was afraid that I’d lose you.”

You chuckle, a small, little thing from the back of your throat. “You must have known I’d never let that happen, hmm?”

Jungkook smiles softly. “I was scared. Can you blame me? You’re my best friend.”

“And you are mine,” you remind him. 

“It’s just—” Jungkook begins, like the gates of a dam are opening up. “We’d known each other for so long, and we have such a good thing going as is, always texting and calling and hanging out together, studying together on Sunday nights and seeing each other during the week, and I didn’t want to ruin anything. And then my professor assigned this project, and the only person I could think of to take photos was you, but I didn’t want to ask that of you in case you thought it was weird, but you suggested it anyway so I said yes, but I knew. I knew then that the moment I took one goddamn photo of you it would be obvious, and that if you ever saw you would just know. Stuff like that is easy to pick up in pictures, because a camera is like, tunnel vision for whatever it is you want to focus on most, and that’s you, that’s always been you, so I—”

“Jungkook,” you interrupt, reaching out to him, pressing a soft hand to his cheek. “Just, shut up, okay?”

And then you cup his head in both of your hands, and press a kiss to his lips. A small one, if nothing else, but a kiss nonetheless. You press your lips against his own and immediately you feel the sparks rush through you, this flash of heat that settles into something softer, something sweeter. It ignites and soothes you all at once, like a stray lightning bolt out on the open ocean. Like a single clap of thunder and the pitter patter of rain. 

You press a kiss to his lips and when you pull away, Jungkook’s eyes are closed, lips parted ever so slightly. And for a moment there, you almost think you did the wrong thing. 

But barely a second more passes before he’s scooping you up in his arms and pulling you in close to him, his lips finding yours like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do. He holds you tight, hands pressed against the small of your back as he kisses you, warm and fiery and full, as if he can’t get enough, as if this is his only chance. You gasp into it before relaxing in his hold, cold hands on his warm cheeks, body melting at the feeling of him, of him all over you, of his hands and his mouth and his chest, this perfect, solid figure. 

He kisses you and it sends heat shooting through your body, filling you up from the inside out, like your heart has burst and filled your bloodstream with fire, with sparks of warmth that tingle all over. He kisses you, and everywhere his hands press is another sizzle to your skin, an electric shock that makes you giggle into his mouth. 

He kisses you and it feels like a storm has settled, feels like gentle rain after a hurricane, feels like waves crashing against the shore. He kisses you and it is the only thing you can think about. 

By the time you part once more, you don’t think you’ve ever seen Jungkook so blissed out. 

“See?” You point out softly. “Nothing to be afraid of.”

Jungkook looks positively dazed. “I think I need to lie down.”

“Ooh, was I that good?” You tease.

“I’m dreaming.” He shakes his head. “I’m definitely fucking dreaming.”

Jungkook sinks onto your bed, hitting the mattress with a thud. He stares mindlessly in front of him, like his brain needs time to process. 

You smile to yourself. He can have all the time in the world. 

“Is this real?” He mumbles when you sit down next to him, press another kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Are you real?”

“Just like you,” you promise him. “I didn’t know this is what we had been missing, all this time.”

“It wasn’t missing,” Jungkook assures you. “It was just hidden.”

“I love you,” you whisper, watching him swallow the words like a glass of wine. “I think I always have. You just needed to say it first.”

“Oblivious as always.” Jungkook grins, smiling against your lips. “But I’m glad. If this is what it would take, then I’m glad.”

“You wouldn’t change anything?” You ask him, eyes wide and curious. 

It’s hard to know how long you and Jungkook have been secretly pining over each other. Hard to know how long Jungkook has known that he’s loved you, how long it’s been since you started to feel the same, even if subconsciously. It’s hard to know how long you would have kept going if not for this project. It might have been months. Years. Years that Jungkook was willing to spend holding back, if only it meant keeping you by his side. 

“No,” Jungkook says like it’s the easiest answer in the world. “I have you now. Why would I?”

What did you learn about yourself through this assignment? How do you think you’ve changed?

Previously, I had responded to this question by saying that I hadn’t learned anything, and felt that nothing changed in my life. Then, some things happened. And after those things, I learned that I am the luckiest man alive. To know my best friend is one thing. To love her is a privilege. To have her love me back is nothing less than a miracle.

Do you think you’ll ever look back on this project, whether it be as a reference or a memory?

Yes. Every day for the rest of my life. I don’t think I’ve ever been as thankful to receive a homework assignment as I am, right now. I owe everything to this project. It is the reason I have her. 

This assignment forced you to create an entire portfolio, from scratch, using a subject you would have to regularly schedule time with. It was demanding. But, that said, would you ever do this again?

Yes. I want to take photos of her for the rest of my life. I want to save every memory we ever share together. So that far into the future, we can look back on them together and say, “Remember that?”

↳ links are broken, but don’t forget to message me with any thoughts or feedback!

[lipstickstainz]

true lies - s. r. (1/15)

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Series Summary: Spencer is furious, when you rejoin the team after a year and after you left him, when he got arrested. Little does he know, that you leaving him was the only option to ever get him out of prison.

Chapter Summary: Spencer and you have your first encounter, after you left him a year ago. Spoiler: it doesn’t go well. 

Warnings: angst, secrets, swearing I think, typical criminal minds stuff

Word Count: 2.6k

A/N: tadaaaaa. it’s finally here! my first series! tell me if you liked it! love you! gif not mine.

Series Masterlist

The first thing you notice is the complete silence that takes over the room. The last time you had been here, it had been crowded and so noisy that you could hardly understand your own words. People had been everywhere, talking or exchanging theories, but your gaze was fixed on the desk overflowing with books. Now there are only files, carefully sorted and stacked on top of each other.The office is empty, no agents, no witnesses.  No one. You take a deep breath.

It's been some time since you've been here. Almost a year, but everything in this building is all too familiar to you. The coffee maker just waiting to be used in the kitchen. The law books gathering dust on a shelf. It feels like you've never been away.

"Y/N," a woman's voice snaps you out of your thoughts. You have to tear your gaze away from the desk in front of you, and your eyes find a tired, yet incredibly good-looking Emily Prentiss standing outside her office door, smiling at you like you just saw each other yesterday.

"It's good to see you," you say, and she wraps you in her arms after she closes the office door behind you. It feels good to finally have her by your side again; after all, you had been best friends before you left. You hug her one last time before carefully pulling away from her and sitting down in the chair in front of her desk.

"It's good to see you, too," she replies, dropping into her chair. She places her hands on the desk and interlaces her fingers. "Of course, I'd love to know how you've been this past year, but I'm afraid that will have to wait." She opens a drawer to her right and reaches for a file-your personnel file, you realize-and lays it open in front of her. "I've been informed that my request has been approved and you'll be rejoining our team," she says, smiling briefly at you. "It took a favor, but you're well worth it to me."

Your stomach tightens at the thought of Emily owing someone. You swallow the sour feeling spreading down your throat and nod at her. "Thank you, Emily."

She tilts her head and her gaze slides from your face to your kneading hands. "You're not happy with this, it seems. What's wrong?" Emily doesn't need to profile you to know something is bothering you. She knows you too well to miss the change in your behavior.

"I don't know if this is a good idea," you confess.

"And why is that?" asks Emily, but she already knows the answer. She knows what happened a year ago, and she certainly knows more than you do, because she had been here for the last year, after all. Before you can answer her, the door opens and a colorful person comes in.

"Good morning, my beautiful and strong boss," the one and only Penelope Garcia speaks without looking up from her iPad. "We have a new case that I would like to discuss with you before the whole team arrives. It's about -" When Emily doesn't answer her, she looks up and her gaze immediately lingers on you. You're surprised she doesn't drop the tablet on the floor as she rushes toward you to yank you out of the chair and into her arms. "Y/N! What a relief for my tired brain to see your beautiful face! Am I dreaming?" She breaks away from you and gives Emily a look. "Please tell me I'm not dreaming. I couldn't take it."

A smile spreads across Emily's face. "You're not dreaming, Pen. Y/N is actually back."

"Oh, how wonderful!" she squeals, pushing her glasses back up with her index finger. While she says something else to Emily, you look at her. She really hasn't changed in the last year. She's still the colorful bird of the BAU, and that's a good thing.

You notice yourself starting to smile, but then she utters the thing that erases the smile from your lips. "How's Reid doing? Have you guys talked yet?"

Emily makes a hand gesture for Penelope to drop the subject, but your expression has instantly changed when she said his name. It stabs you in the heart and cold shivers run down your spine, and only with difficulty can you suppress the tremors that want to overtake your body.

"I'm afraid the team is already here," Emily interrupts the silence and casts a glance out the window into the open-plan office. Even if you want to follow her gaze, you don't dare and your body is still in rigidity. She gets up from her chair and walks towards the door, but before she opens it, she turns to you once more. "If you need more time, that's fine. Take all the time you need. But your place is here with us, Y/N. We're your family." And with that, she and Penelope leave the office.

She's right. The BAU is your family - even if you hadn't seen or spoken to any of the family members in the last year - and walking out now wouldn't change the situation. The circumstances under which you left - had to leave - were anything but normal, and you hope that your decisions would be met with understanding, but you can't count on that. So you tighten your shoulders, push through your back, and follow them into the conference room. Your heart beats up to your neck and your hands sweat as you stop on the doorstep.

Your gaze fixes on the youngest team member, except for you. His brown curls are a little shorter than they were a year ago, and it doesn't take you ten seconds to notice that it's not the Spencer Reid you know sitting at the table. The year had changed him. Your absence had changed him.

Rossi is the first to notice you, which is because he glances over his shoulder. "Who do we have here?" he asks playfully, before rising from his chair and taking you in his arms. But you're only peripherally aware of that. Your concentration is on Spencer, who stares at you unblinkingly before jumping up and storming out of the room. JJ, sitting next to him, reaches for him, but he wriggles out of her grip and he runs past you so fast that it's easy to call it an escape. JJ smiles weakly at you before putting her hand on your arm. She doesn't need to say anything, her look tells you that she's glad you're back, but you're also aware that she wants to take care of Spencer, so you nod at her and wordlessly she follows the genius of the team.

The rest greet you with great joy, Rossi presses a kiss on your cheek and Alvez puts his arm around your shoulders, but you look out the window and see Spencer and JJ talking. His face is red and even though you can't hear his words or read his lips, you know exactly what it's about. The blonde tries to calm him down, wanting to put her hands on his shoulders to make him stop shaking, but he avoids her and takes a step back. The gesture is enough, as she drops her arms and doesn't follow him either when Spencer leaves the bullpen. You know he won't be back in the next few minutes.

Garcia tells you about the case and you try to focus on her words as best you can, but again and again your mind wanders to Spencer. His reaction to your return is understandable and you don't judge him for it. You have no right to do so; after all, you are responsible for his condition. You hope that soon there would be a quiet moment when you could talk about the past, but you are not optimistic. He pushed JJ away from him a few minutes ago, which is definitely not a good sign. You try to push the thoughts of him to the back of your mind; after all, there's a case to solve, and although the current situation isn't ideal, you're looking forward to it. It's been a long time since you've worked properly.

"All right," Emily says, snapping you out of your thoughts. "Wheels up in thirty."

"Hey," JJ addresses you as you freshen up in the ladies' room. You glance at her in the mirror and she smiles at you. "Are you okay?" You both know this question is purely rhetorical. She is, after all, Spencer's best friend. Aside from the two of you, she probably knows best what's been going on, but still not everything.

You turn around and lean against the edge of the sink. "I'm trying to get used to everything," you reply, pursing your lips into a thin line. "It's changed quite a bit while I was gone."

She nods. "Yeah, it did." She takes another step toward you. "Look, you have to give him some time, all right? This year hasn't been very nice to him. I hope you can understand that." She sounds sincere and, above all, concerned, which is why you don't resent her little speech. Of course, you're already aware of all this, but hearing it from her confirms your suspicions.

You are to blame for Spencer's condition. And there's no way you can straighten things out anytime soon.

Spencer rejoins the team only on the plane, but he avoids your proximity or your glances at all costs. He takes the seat next to Alvez, which is almost at the other end of the plane, and he is completely silent. The others, of course, notice the tension that has spread through the group since your arrival, but they all have the decency not to bring it up. But by their manner they let you know that they don't stand between you. You had been gone a long time, and they know halfway what had been going on, but they didn't take sides, and for that you are infinitely grateful.

"Alvez, JJ, Simmons. You guys talk to the families. Find out if the victims share any common traits that might connect them," Emily says, dividing the team into focus groups as usual. She glances around the group. "Rossi, Reid, Y/L/N, you go to the coroner's office while -"

"No." It's the first word Spencer has uttered since you boarded the plane. You expected his voice to be weak or to reveal any other signs of uncertainty, but the word came from his lips in a firm tone, leaving no room for discussion. Spencer looks up from the paper file and before he looks at Emily, his gaze brushes yours and at the coldness in his eyes, your blood freezes in your veins.

"All right," Emily says without elaborating. "Alvez, you switch places with Reid. Tara and I will go to the local police department and talk to the detectives. Let's catch the killer."

To say the mood on the plane hit rock bottom would be an understatement.

Forensics helps you out a bit. The victims were drugged before they died, causing hallucinations, which is probably why they self-inflicted injuries. Also, both victims have the same cut wounds in the same place. Definitely not a coincidence. Alvez has Garcia dig up some information on the way to the police station, which is why you could briefly organize your thoughts, but Rossi tells you about a new dish he'd like to cook for you sometime, and you'd been gone too long to block out your work dad. Besides, your mind would only be on Spencer and that's not moving you forward either.

"According to the relatives, none of the victims were unpopular, loners, or even depressed," JJ begins as the team gathers. You take a seat in the chair facing Spencer. When he notices, he gets up and sits somewhere else. The main thing is to get out of your sight. You sigh imperceptibly, but Luke turns in your direction and raises an eyebrow. You shake your head.

It hurts that Spencer doesn't want to be near you. In fact, it almost breaks your heart, but you can get used to that. He should go ahead and hate you. You could handle that.

The day flies by and when the team checks into the hotel in the evening, Spencer grabs one of the keys and leaves without another word. Sadly, you watch him go and Emily puts a hand on your shoulder reassuringly. Eventually, it would get better. Later on, you sit on the bed with her and tell her about the year you've been away, the people you've met, things you've experienced, but each anecdote brings you back to the one topic that makes your heart skip a beat.

"You have to tell him, Y/N," Emily suddenly says seriously, and you shake your head.

"No." It sounds almost as harsh as Spencer on the plane, but there's still some pain hovering in the air with you. "I'm not going to tell him, Emily."

"He thinks you left him because he went to prison. In his mind, you basically left him at the altar," she tries to change your mind, but to no avail. She would not succeed. You had sworn to yourself that this matter would remain a secret, something you would both take to your graves. And you have no intention of breaking that vow. "You were engaged, for gods sake" Emily's tone sharpens. "Don't you think he deserves the truth?"

"I'm not going to tell him. It's for the best."

Emily looks at you incredulously, but also knows she can't change your mind. "Best for whom?"

That night, you lie awake, tossing from side to side but unable to find sleep. You don't feel guilty about what happened. You don't question your decisions you did back then. It was the right thing to do. It bothers you because of Spencer, because of his reaction to your return, because of his hostility. JJ had asked for your understanding and you would do anything to mend fences, but you're not sure that's Spencer's intention either.

After two hours, you get up and slip into sweatpants and a sweater before leaving your room. As if of their own accord, your feet carry you down the hallway, to a destination you shouldn't be going to. As you turn into the hallway where Spencer's room is, you stop, rooted to the spot.

JJ is standing on the doorstep to his room, saying something to him before he leans down and pulls her tightly into his arms. His hair is messy, and even from this distance you can tell Spencer is leaning on JJ with all his weight. You have to swallow. How much you want a hug from him.

JJ is the first to disengage, saying goodbye to him and disappearing in the opposite direction, while Spencer stops and watches her go. There is a small smile on his face and he looks more relaxed than he did earlier in the day. As he turns to go back to his room, his gaze lingers on you. The smile disappears and his body is tense to the breaking point.

Time seems to stand still. It feels like an eternity that you stare at each other without speaking a word, but there is so much coldness in Spencer's eyes, so much pain, that you can hardly stand it and want to look away. But you're transfixed. Your hand raises of its own accord, as if in greeting, and your mouth opens, but before you can say anything, Spencer takes a step back and slams the door behind him. Only then do you realize that you've been holding your breath.

next part

- tags - 

@obsssedwithjustaboutanything // @ashwarren32 // @slytherinbth // @rexorangecouny // @candlemouse // @cloudybau

[get-shiggy-with-it]

Ch. 1

Shigaraki Birthday Week! MINORS DNI DO NOT PUT THIS ON TIKTOK

Pairing: Tomura Shigaraki x fem!reader

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: reader is marked fem cause Tomura is a little sexist and hates you cause you’re a woman, no pronouns, incel!shiggy, collage au/no quirks, tomura is an asshole, gratuitous swearing, like so much, shiggy has a dirty mouth, mentions of shigs being anxious, let me know if I’ve missed something

Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6

Summary: Tomura gets stuck taking an English class to graduate and is partnered with you, a bitchy try hard (his words not mine) for his final project. But over the course of the semester he finds that while he hates everyone, he might hate you just a little...less. 

AO3 mirror

The door at the back of the room creaked open and jarred Tomura from his half-sleep state. He didn’t look at who’d bothered to slip into this fucking class late, and instead tried to let the prof’s inane droning on Timothy Whoever The Fuck’s 18th weirdo letter book lull him into day dreaming. 

He only made it about a quarter of the way back into his boredom induced coma until he was dragged unwillingly into wakefulness once more. 

“Sorry, could you plug this in for me?” 

Tomura jumped again when you leaned over to whisper to him, computer charger in one hand, gesturing to the outlet on the wall by his head. You’d left the typical courtesy seat empty between the two of you and he stared blankly at the way you leaned your weight on the vacant chair. 

He recognized you.

The classic, dumbass teacher's pet who was always front and center of the room, iced drink at the ready looking like you belonged on the set of some god awful college b movie. 

Well, almost always. You certainly had that loud ass drink, but you’d tucked yourself at the end of his row towards the back of the room and was clearly a bit embarrassed for bursting in almost 15 minutes late. 

Tomura swallowed hard as your shirt gaped in the front. It took an immense amount of control to not gaze outright into the swell of your chest. 

“You good?” you asked softly, head cocked like you were straight out of a fucking manga panel—tits on display with that stupid innocent, puzzled expression.  

“Uh yeah, sorry,” Tomura mumbled. 

You offered him this gross, clearly fake smile—because why the hell would you be grinning like that if it wasn’t just because you wanted something from him—as he threaded the cord behind his chair and plugged it in. 

“Thanks,” you replied and turned back towards the professor, typing away cause you actually take notes in this class. 

Of fucking course you did. 

Probably trying to impress everyone with how you typed practically every word the prof said. Tomura decidedly did not take notes, and didn’t really pay that much attention in general. Usually he just played some trashy phone game under the desk or dozed with his head against the cement wall. 

It had gotten to that portion of the semester when it was warmer outside but the buildings still had the heat cranked all the way up, especially here in the basement where the classroom was. That environment along with his usual hoodie/joggers combo created grade A napping conditions that Tomura took full advantage of. 

As a rule, he actually cared about school and he did relatively well. But this was just some dumbass liberal arts requirement course that had nothing to do with his actual major, so he was perfectly fine with coasting. Why his comp sci degree required him to take a fucking Restoration era English class, he had no clue. Apparently neither did his advisor other than that the ‘administration recommended it’ so their students would have a ‘well rounded learning experience.’ 

It was almost certainly just a cash grab to make him take more credits than was necessary to graduate, but whatever. He was here now. And so were you. Your presence was overwhelmingly clear, typing away and smelling like one of those insanely specific laundry detergent label scents—fucking rolling meadows and grandmother’s clean linen or something like that. 

He’d never sat this close to you before, but that didn’t stop you from annoying the shit out of him for the previous whole half semester and going since it was just now passing midterms. Long enough for him to have pegged you as a textbook try-hard, pick-me bitch. You contributed to discussion at every opportunity, turned in shit early, and debated other classmates regularly enough to disrupt his in-course sleep schedule. 

The way you dressed pissed him off too, with a particular style that was enough to stand out but not so over the top that it would cause disinterest from any potential mates.

And now you were filling his corner of the room with the overpowering smell of freshly washed hair and demanding he do things for you. 

Fucking disgusting. 

“Tomura Shigaraki.”

He jumped a third time, attention directed from his lap to the front of the room where the prof stood, listing out names from the board. He heard your name next followed by Kai Chisaki. The list was projected on the board as well, grouping everyone into twos or threes with “Final Project Partners” listed in bold Helvetica font at the top. 

Only fucking English profs used Helvetica. 

He vaguely remembered mentions of a final presentation—one of like three grades in this class cause the prof was almost certainly a sadist. 

No, not almost—definitely. Otherwise he wouldn’t have stuck him with you and that weirdo Kai pre-med student who insisted on acting so elitist you’d think he already had his fucking M.D. 

One time he asked Tomura to move seats at the start of the semester because he looked “dirty” and Kai liked to sit in the back—which, fair enough, it wasn’t like Tomura showered as frequently as he probably should but what the fuck??  

With you rushing in late, chest out and panting every now and again from your apparent sprint across campus, Tomura was certain he’d be subjected to a whole 6 weeks of watching you try to mount that fucking Kai dude instead of actually working. 

This was going to be a nightmare. 

From the end of the table, he saw you shifting and turned to find that stupid fucking smile flashed his way once again. 

If you had a tail, he’d bet it would be wagging. 

“Hey, well that’s convenient,” you chuckled and plopped down directly next to him, sliding your noisy ass drink across the table with you and brushing against his thigh when you shifted your bag to the side. 

“Yeah,” he nodded.

It most certainly was not. 

But Tomura would never say that because—as his roommate put it so kindly—he was kinda a pussy. 

People made him nervous, they always had. That’s why he liked computers so much. Code made sense, there were clear rules and when something didn’t work out, he could fix it eventually, but you couldn’t see people’s codes. You had to fucking guess at shit and it made his anxiety skyrocket which the sides of his neck and finger tips suffered for. 

So he cowered like the fucking dog you probably thought he was instead and kept his eyes on the floor, letting you set up in silence. 

“Who was our third?” you asked, glancing around the room. “Sorry, I was busy making a shared drive and I came in  late so I missed that last bit.”

Why the hell did you feel the need to apologize all the goddamn time? Seriously, who would believe you were actually sorry for being irritating as hell. 

And god if he thought you were irritating. 

“Kai,” he grumbled simply as the man in question sauntered over to the table and fucking Clorox wiped down the seat before sitting.  

Tomura watched your smile falter just a bit and grinned inwardly at the slip in your fake little persona. But you didn’t say anything more, just moved your chair back so the three of you were in a semi-circle and pulled up a few pdfs on your laptop. 

“Cool, so I was looking over the directions on the syllabus last week and I set up a little work delegation thing so we can distribute everything pretty evenly,” you jumped right in, tone matter of fact in the down-to-business manner he was used to hearing from you during class discussions. 

It was better than you so clearly forcing yourself to be overly polite, and he honestly couldn’t really care less if you wanted to take charge of this thing. You seemed kinda bossy, but he begrudgingly admitted that your suck up behavior did mean you sort of knew what you were talking about. He was just here to pass and you might actually make that a lot easier. 

It was okay as long as he was taking advantage of you, he told himself. And you would be too stupid to notice, so he could play your game and play pretend nice all the way to an A. 

That walking condescension on the other hand— 

“I’m not doing that,” Kai huffed through his ever-present mask. 

Tomura wasn’t actually sure he’d ever seen the bastards face without it. 

“What?” you laughed awkwardly. “Yes you are, you don’t really have much of a choice.” 

You stared at your classmate who simply stared right back with his own, equally confused expression. 

“Why do you look so surprised?” you asked after a moment of silence. 

You weren’t smiling anymore and your voice had dropped down about a fucking octave. At least you sounded more like a person and not some wannabe uwu gamer bitch.

“People don’t talk to me like that,” Kai looked at you down his nose, legs spread wide and elbow resting on his knees. 

Tomura could feel the pretentiousness wafting from him in waves, and waited with bated breath for you to get kicked off your pedestal. Just a bit though, he did need you around to do most of his work for this thing. 

But in a shocking turn of events, you just laughed dryly twice and turned back to your laptop screen, mumbling as you did. 

“Really? Well they should.” 

Tomura would have laughed too, but he didn’t feel like inflating your ego. Kai on the other hand looked a bit like you’d just spit on shoes and furrowed those stupid, plucked thin eyebrows at the back of your head. 

“So Tomura, you code right?” you asked, turning away from Kai completely to address him. “I just remember you saying you were in comp sci when we did introductions.” 

He was taken aback by the knowledge that he existed as a person in your head outside of this room for a moment and simply nodded—suddenly feeling far too hot in his black on black sweats and hoodie. 

God just talking to you made his skin burn. 

“Great, cause we’re allowed to chose the medium we present in and I was thinking of taking it in a more creative direction cause I’ve had this prof before and he eats that shit up,” you begin to ramble again, scrolling through a bulleted list, shifting the screen for him to see. 

“Right,” he murmured, still surprised you’d thought this far and not...actively hating what you’d brainstormed. 

Well, it was a bit juvenile and you clearly didn’t know what you were talking about but the concept wasn’t horrendous. He could work with that and it shouldn’t be too hard. It kinda seemed like you’d overestimated a bit with how challenging it would actually be and saddled yourself with most of the heavy lifting. That or you were just a control freak which was a little more believable.

He wished you would stop looking at him over the edge of the screen. He could feel himself starting to sweat. Rivulets falling down the nape of his neck and racing across his bare chest under the sweatshirt. Tomura sorta regretted not wearing a shirt underneath but he knew that he wouldn’t have taken off the insulating layer even if that had been an option. 

It would just mean you had more drying, pale as fuck skin to look at and judge him for because he knew that’s what you were doing. Fucking vapid and shallow like everyone else. 

“It’s really rough so far, but I have it the gist outlined,” you indicated to another tab and then turned back to Kai who had been sitting silently glaring daggers into your back. “So, Kai, since you’re in STEM I figured you’d be okay with doing more of the preliminary research—”

“I don’t think so,” Kai interrupted, shaking his head and pushing off his knees to lean back in the cheap, plastic seat. “Look, it’ll be easier for all of us if you two just make it look pretty and I can handle the oral presentation.” 

You gaped and looked to Tomura with this pathetic fucking incredulous stare, like you thought he’d back you up. 

Which actually, now that he thought about it was probably a good idea—he did need you to remain somewhat cordial with him—but he certainly didn’t care enough to defend you in any way. Kai was a dick, sure, but he wasn’t gonna let you rope him into being your white knight or whatever. 

He settled for a similarly disgruntled downward twitch of his lips. The movement pulled at the cracking skin which stung as it tore open even more. Tomura felt the familiar crawling feeling on his neck and shifted in his seat to resist the urge to scratch. 

He couldn’t pinpoint why exactly you staring at him was so uncomfortable. He didn’t like you, he didn’t care about you and by extension didn’t give two shits what you thought of him, but anything he might have said shriveled on his tongue when you spoke or looked in his eyes too long. 

Tomura had never made a habit of talking to females and they certainly had never wanted anything to do with him either. 

Maybe he was fucking allergic or something. 

Whatever the case, you seemed to take his half frown as a sign of solidarity and leaned back in your own seat. 

“Okay, look,” you retorted. “If you’re seriously not gonna at least try to cooperate, then there is actually an option to do the project by yourself and I suggest you take it.” 

The look on your face was distinctly impolite. There was a sharpness to the set of your jaw that Tomura had never seen before, but it looked practiced enough that he could bet it was simply the snake that resided in every woman just waiting to come out. 

“Look sweetheart—” that masked jerk began, also for some fucking reason looking to Tomura for support. 

For someone who was very much used to blending into the background scenery, this was the most eye contact Tomura had ever made in a day. 

Except on the rare occasions his roommate had friends over and he had to make the dreaded trek from his room to reach the fridge. 

“Oh yeah I’m not doing that,” you closed your laptop sharply and rolled your eyes. “I get it, but I’m really just trying to graduate. I don’t think this is going to work out and you,” Tomura froze as you shifted your gaze to him once again, “seem okay, so Tomura and I can just work this out by ourselves and you can find a different group.” 

Kai scoffed behind the black layer of fabric covering his mouth and slung his backpack over his shoulder. “Whatever.” 

Tomura watched him saunter straight out the door as the room was filled with the shuffling of notebooks and zipping of backpacks. 

“God,” you huffed and turned back to him. 

His raw skin burned under the new wave of heat and accompanying moisture that slicked his skin when you scooted closer to him. That clean laundry and shampoo smell was suffocating from this proximity. 

Did you fucking bathe in the stuff? 

He was becoming increasingly aware of his less than pleasant aroma and the fact that you not scrunching your nose up in disgust just out of some stupid, ingrained need to appease him. 

“Well, that was...weird,” you chuckled in a way that was probably meant to break the tension. 

Unfortunately Tomura felt more like he was about to break out in hives if you came any closer so it really just ended up making the atmosphere ten times more awkward. At least for him. You, somehow, remained resolutely unaware. 

“Mhm,” he hummed in response and picked silently at the skin of his fingers. 

“Anyway, I have a meeting in a few but we can trade numbers and pick a time to meet up sometime tomorrow maybe?” you suggested, quickly saving the steadily degrading vibes of the conversation and pulled out your phone. 

He really hated the full body pulsation that rushed through him at the thought of getting a girls number. It made him fucking sick at himself for falling into your stupid trap to get him interested. Was your plan to just use him to get a good grade or whatever and then block his texts?

It wasn’t like Tomura didn’t know about his status as the class ‘freak.’ That one guy everyone whispers about and makes sure not to sit next to. And he knows you know, so why the hell else would you act so nice?

He wanted to say something scathing in return. That he could do the whole thing by himself too—which he definitely couldn’t but that was irrelevant—and that he didn’t need you bossing him around either. 

“Sure thing,” he said instead and took your offered phone all too eagerly, typing in his number and watching as you shot off a text back so he’d have yours. 

His phone buzzed against his thigh and he jumped a fourth time, but you seemed not to notice as you packed your bag and grabbed your basic ass drink. The ice clattered against the tumbler, dropping cool condensation against the searing skin of his hand. 

Tomura shivered as you waved over your shoulder and slipped out the door with another rush of students. 

He sat silently in the empty room for a moment, trying to process the last hour. He pinched himself idly, wondering if it had all been just a weird dream, but the results were inconclusive. A minute or two passed before he pulled out his phone to scroll through the list of reddit and discord notifs to find your text. 

Unknown Number:

— pEopLe DoN’t TaLK tO mE liKE ThAt 

— not very plus ultra of him...smh

— anyway, library at 6 tomorrow ?

 Tomura caved, digging his nails into the side of his neck and hissed at the pain, confirming the day's horrible reality.