#but to remove the ONLY safe space i have just bc YOU get upset like a whiny little baby reading smth scawyyyyy :(((( is a major dick move

[bunnihearted]

i dont know how why or when it happened but i dont like that i get so much activity on my blog :( i made this blog to vent, and now bc more ppl see it, it means more ppl report my posts and i cant post abt sh or mental illness without being scared my blog's gonna get nuked... like im a freak in a mental hospital why do normies have to perceive me and then get all uppity abt what i post abt and then report me like go awayyyyy leave me aloneeeee :(( it annoys me so much but sadly when that point is reached u cant revert it. ppl are just gonna see my posts and report it and it makes me so angryyyyyy like why are u even online if u are incapable of curating your own space (without forcefully removing someone else's safe space) and just learning how to ignore ppl........ like fuck off and leave ppl alone

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Aita for splitting on my boyfriend?

I've been dating my boyfriend C for 2 years now. And this past month has been ROUGH. It started with him working extra late shifts for almost 2 weeks, the first week wasn't bad he was tired and I understood but quickly he became distant. And he never wanted to tell me when he was working. And suddenly it seemed like the 8 hours 12 to 8 or 2 to 11 pm shifts turned into 9 am shifts with the lack of contact from him. I'd tell him I'm worried about him, ask if he's okay, if I upset him and that's why he seeks to avoid me before and after work and he'd brush me off and say "I'm fine babe, I'm avoiding you, I'm sorry I made you feel that way" and he'd stop and be attentive to me for a few hours. And then the 2nd week came and it got worse and he became even less active and I'd ask him what's up, and tell him that my feelings were starting to get hurt more because now it feels like he's just avoiding me, same thing would be said "I'm sorry babe, I didn't mean to make you feel that way" and then he'd turn around and lag on me for hours. This was a pattern for the rest of week two and each day I told him how I felt, it seemed like he ignored me harder. And for context I have bpd, and it gets triggered when I feel ignored and shut out. And I had been managing it for those 2 weeks but all those feelings built up and Friday night, it popped. He did the same thing to me. From 9 am that day to 8 pm, he only texted me 4 times. And then I just snapped at him. I told him I felt ignored and shut out, and I needed space so I removed him from my socials online. I told him that I felt like he was doing this to me on purpose and I expected different from him but that was done bc no matter how much I told him I was hurt, it seemed like it drove him to ignore me more. Lo and behold after this splitting episode, he ignored me more. This time I didn't blame him. So I texted him again and told him I didn't want to break up but I still stood by what I said I loved him and wanted to work things out in a few days. Got ignored again, I texted him 2 days later asking to meet. Ignored again, I texted him the next day asking to meet again that same day, ignored again.

Sunday rolls around and I text him that I'm worried about him and asked if he could at least text me if he's okay. And he said he's fine and just didn't want to talk to me at the moment, I understood, I fucked up, so I apologized to him and told him I loved and then he told me he "had work". this isn't true before he ignored me he told me he ONLY had 1 day off which was that Sunday, they can't force him to work 7 days straight. But I didn't call him out in it and just wished him a good day. Ignored again

The Monday after I had gotten a package in the mail for him, before all of this I bought him somebody and skin and hair care stuff. I went through the stuff to make sure everything was right. I wrote up and good and proper apology to him and explained why I snapped and again, told him how sorry I was and that I loved him, and pasted it into Google notes and I shared it with him. Then I had my mother drop it off to him. I texted him once again to tell him that the stuff was waiting outside for him and that I loved him and to at least bare minimum communication-wise to let me know if he at least got the package and it was safe. But once again, I got ignored hard.

It's been 9 days since the splitting episode and I've tried to apologize many times and I've given him space after the Google note thing but he's still ignoring me hard. So I'm wondering, am I really that much of an asshole to deserve this treatment?

What are these acronyms?

[according2thelore]

That anon who said they dean being jealous of himself is SO right. I'm LOVING the angsty jealous dynamics you've been feeding us. I'm partial to "young Sam is jealous of old Sam" myself because it's soooo cute and sad. Like yes! Make Sam pout! Make him value himself less! Make him glare daggers at LS!Sam and ES!Dean!!! Make him think he's the odd one out and not wanted! The angst! I'm also dying for ES!Dean to comfort ES!Sam once(if) he realizes that he feels left out. Just UGH. ES!SAM FEELING LIKE THE LAST CHOICE! SO good. I love coming to your blog just to see what you post lol, you just hit every right button for me.

AHHH! THANK YOU!

let's discuss!

SO much of ES!Sam's life up to that point is feeling like the odd one out!

when it's just dean and sam, i think sam doesn't feel like he has to try to fit in as hard. when dean's trying to impress/ingratiate himself with dad? for sure. those awkward few hunts after stanford? 100%

but when it's just dean and sam, they might fight and get snippy, but sam doesn't have to put up a front. he doesn't have to put on airs. in fact, we see a couple times in the show that when sam's trying to be something he's not with dean, it's to protect him/protect his feelings.

so for ES!Sam, to have that safe space (lol pardon the phrase) GONE--sam's only completely authentic space (bc even with jess, he had to hide huge parts of himself)--

it would definitely put him off-balance. to sam, dean is choosing a different, better version of sam. ES!Sam felt safe being his own bitchy self with dean, but to have ES!Dean so clearly prefer a version of sam with all that removed, i wouldn't be surprised if ES!Sam felt the pressure to change to meet ES!Dean's new preferences.

which of course he resents! sam spent so much of his life being told to change: by dad, by dean, by other hunters, by himself.

to find out that your only true safe place to land can, does, and will prefer a seemingly faultless version of yourself?? bro. immediately confusing and devastating.

and even outside of the meta-dynamic of their relationship, ES!Sam is confused! and scared!

because he's also in love with dean. so to be usurped so easily both platonically and romantically?? GRAH! it drives sam crazy!

because he's not even sure which parts he's "allowed" to be mad about. he's not sure if glaring at the space where LS!Sam has his knee pressed against ES!Dean's in the car is an "acceptable" platonic jealousy, or if it's part of his sick-wrong-bad possessiveness that ES!Dean is his.

he's not sure if wanting to rip off LS!Sam's face for making ES!Dean laugh like that is annoyance that ES!Sam's superpower is communal or fury that ES!Dean is capable of belonging to someone else.

he's afraid of coming out and saying a lot of it, because what if it's too revealing?? what if he missteps and ES!Dean recognizes that ES!Sam's agonized ire is because he wants to suck his cock until he can't see straight?

he's annoyed and he's mad and he's upset, but bottling it up is all ES!Sam really knows how to do unless he wants to bring their house of cards down!

as for comfort, i think ES!Dean at first would not recognize this at all, lmao. for all ES!Dean's attentiveness to the changes in ES!Sam's moods and needs, he thinks he's just being a little bitch about the whole thing (his regrettable choice of words, not mine).

like c'mon, we're both weirded-out by this whole thing. we're in this together! and being rude to LS!Sam&Dean is not going to change our situation. dean does not take slights to sam lightly, even if the person slighting LS!Sam is ES!Sam.

i think it would take something stronger for ES!Dean to realize that ES!Sam's feelings are genuinely hurt--or at least confused--about the whole thing. ES!Sam avoids him like the plague, and these men do not sit down to talk about feelings, lmao.

maybe ES!Dean stumbles in on LS!Dean & ES!Sam talking, and LS!Dean is obviously comforting him, hand on the back of his neck, and ES!Sam's got a pink nose and shiny eyes and ES!Dean kind of blows up, because what the fuck did you say to him? what's going on in here?

LS!Dean rolls his eyes and shoves him off like go talk to your kid. i'm not here to mediate your bitchfits.

maybe it finally comes out later, ES!Sam not really able to look dean in the eyes, that he's sick of dean being so whipped for LS!Sam, and since when did dean need other brothers?

ES!Dean doesn't know how to express the fact that he's so taken with LS!Sam because this is a brother that wants him back! that needs him back! LS!Sam loves the hunt and he loves dean, and he's not shy about either of those things! if LS!Sam has free time, he spends it with dean. if LS!Sam is bored, he goes to look for dean. ES!Dean is thrilled by the promise of that future, of a sam who is gorgeous and strong and sexy as fuck and wants dean!!!

so he fumbles his way through it like "c'mon, sammy. he's you."

"is he, though? he's...i don't know. it's hard to recognize myself in him. he's...different....than i thought he would be. i guess."

ES!Sam doesn't know how to say that out of the four of them, he's the only one that feels Other. he wants to be part of this, but they don't make it easy.

ES!Sam doesn't know how to navigate on the outside of the Sam&Dean dynamic. he is the Sam in the Sam&Dean dynamic--he's realizing how strange and alienating it is to be not Sam or Dean in that, and he hates it.

"you think i'd put up with some guy that wasn't you?" dean scoffs, and they both kind of stare at each other for a second, because that was dangerously close to the truth.

"listen," ES!Dean follows up quickly, because he's not willing to let those words sit in the air too long, for the off-chance that ES!Sam will have time to process them. "you're my sam, okay? my pain in the ass little brother. this guy is sam, but he's that dean's sam. so. y'know. they're not us. or ours, or...whatever. you're still the little shit i'm gonna bug first."

it's tense for a long moment, unsure if that was too honest, too revealing. ES!Sam's still breathing a little fast, and ES!Dean keeps shifting on his feet.

"you're an asshole." ES!Sam finally says, exhaling, looking genuinely un-strung for the first time in weeks, and ES!Dean practically slumps forward in relief.

"aw, sammy. you sure know how to make a girl blush." he coos, and ES!Sam swats him away, all it's sam, you know it's sam.

and ES!Dean is smiling and rolling his eyes and his hands are still shaking under the table like yeah, yeah, whatever you say.

GAH!!!!!!!!!!!! jealous sam! devastated sam!!! isolated sam!!!

YOU GET IT!!!!!!! YOU UNDERSTAND THE VISION!!!!!!!!!

thank you for this ask!!! and for your kind words!!! mwah, mwah, mwah! <3

-lizzy

[thedeviljudges]

ok so maybe a tl;dr kinda post. it's me just writing down my thoughts about the apartment stuff.

tagging @clawbehavior @technitango in case yall wanted an update too!!

so i technically started my apartment hunt last year when i thought i was moving, and while i did realy love two places (owned my the same company so the floor plans were the same) - mainly bc of the amount of light it had from window set up, for the amount of sq ft you got for the price, it just didn't and still doesn't make sense.

but with those in mind and also touring apartments with my friend who was planning to move in this month, there's been a lot to choose from. there's another apartment on my list that another friend lives at, but i think ultimately it's similar to the two above where the price you get for the space isn't the cheapest, especially for what i need.

which led me two the last two apartments i toured today. starting with the second one:

the price is fantastic for the space (ideally need a 2 bedroom or a 1 bed with den/study; i'm hybrid for work). the place was fine. gated and really close to a major area of shops. the biggest issue is the visitor parking - it's all at the front of the complex, and there's only about 25 spaces to which the leasing agent said they're full most of the time. i also didn't get the wow feeling with it. it was just okay. i really wish i would've loved it bc on paper, it would've been great.

but the first place we toured? it's the apartment that had a great unit for the perfect pricing that someone snatched up two days ago (that i posted about a few days ago), and i'm so upset about it because this place is perfect. that unit was a 1 bed with study, but there's no more available so my next option is a 2 bedroom. i can afford it, technically, but it also means with utilities, my car note and other expenses, i won't have much left over each month for casual spending, etc.

which isn't necessarily a bad thing. so many people are in that position right now given the economy. and this wouldn't be that expensive if i didn't have my car note - so my options are to suck it up and go for the space and just be extremely frugal for awhile - with the intention of moving my banking to a credit union and try to apply for refinancing there, which would hopefully lower my interest rate and loan payment on my car.

i'm also inclined to go for this space because i truly fell in love with it. it's exactly what i need; the community is great. it's gated and safe, and i love everything about it, and it's one of the only properties that i truly felt i could live there and enjoy it. i'm also someone that is very intuitive, and this just feels right - like deep down i think i know i won't really be that happy anywhere else. and i hate to hype it up so much bc i know i could move in and end up hating it, but i truly think this may be it?? i'm just so hesitant because of the price. i feel really stupid for even considering it because i feel like what i should be doig is being more sensible, find a smaller place and save money - especially bc if i go with the bigger unit, it also leaves me with not very much to put into savings.

i have a quote, but i've seen the prices online fluctuate, so i'm going to test my luck to see if it'll drop down to a lower rate. if someone nabs the unit before me, then i'll probably forfeit the need for a bigger space, go smaller and then see if i can move into a bigger unit the following year. i would hate to do that because i really want to separate my work from my personal space (this is a big deal for me given my last toxic work environment), and it's easier to do that with a den/study or two bedroom, but i really love the place enough to consider a year there with a smaller unit and then potentially move within the same complex. like, it will suck not having the space i want and not being able to completely remove work (my desk would either have to go in the living room or bedroom, and bc my desk is in my bedroom right now, that's also a big no. i highly do not recommend putting work where you sleep). but i think i could hold out for another year bc i think i'll just be excited to have my own space.

so that's where i'm at right now tbh. i think i'm set on the apt complex; now it's just choosing the unit.

*i should also note that if i got a 2 bedroom unit on the 2nd or 3rd floor, that would be cheaper. my ideal is the first floor bc i've lived on the first floor in my current place, and i'm so used to it. i could possibly do a 2nd floor unit since it'd be less stairs to climb, but it's also not ideal.

[thebeautyoffanfics]

rengoku kyojuro x gn!reader

a/n: despite the fact that this is comfort for one of my biggest fears, the hardest part was finding a character to write bc i’m,,,,,, obsessing over several- ANYWAY i wanted to rip my heart out ig </3

warnings: MUGEN TRAIN SPOILERS!!! Character death as well!!

word count: 2,144

Love… was complicated. Overly so. Would you ever find love?

That thought- that lingering fear- overwhelmed you more than you’d like to admit. What if, should you fall in love, the person does not feel the same? What if the relationship fell apart? What if, after years of pretending it’s alright- after loving them for so long, they fall out of love? What if you’re left there, broken hearted, with nowhere to go? What if you never fell in love again? What if the commitment overwhelmed you, and you chickened out of a relationship that could have grown to be beautiful?

What if… you never fell in love?

It was terrifying to you. Being alone forever. Never kissing anyone- never having someone to hold, hold more lovingly, overall differently, from the way a friend would hug you. Still, falling in love was scary. Absolutely terrifying for those established reasons.

Love was scary. Cripplingly so.

Yet… you fell in love.

You fell so hard. So hard for someone you weren’t sure you would expect- someone who, quite literally, was like the sun. Bright, warm, friendly. A hero. Your hero, and so many others’. He was loud, strong, tall, and genuinely, purely, beautiful. The most wonderful man you’d ever met. Someone who made you forget about your fears after a bit- the only thing you could afford to think about was him after all- there was no room for anxiety or tears.

“I understand, (Y/N),” He had told you- it felt like forever ago, though it was only a few years.

“Love is terrifying! But, isn’t that what makes it so fun? It makes your heart beat as hard as it does in a battle- except I’m not head-to-head against a monster! It’s just me and the person that I care for very deeply!! That person is you! And if I miss the chance to love you now, who knows when it’ll come again!! Live selfishly! Boldly! Do everything with a burning passion- and that includes love!!!”

The words he spoke weren’t incredibly moving. They were words you told yourself. But, hearing them from someone who made you face that deep fear- it made you feel… capable. As if, with him, you could do anything… maybe you would live selfishly. Consider the future, but not that heavily. Surely, it would hold great things.

The future had held great things. From that moment- the moment Rengoku looked you in your eyes, and you held eye contact longer than you had before. Your face burned, your heart felt like it was going to beat out of your chest, and your stomach was twisted in knots. You felt as though you could cry. It was… exciting. It was fun. To feel so scared- to have every nerve in your body completely on edge- yet there was no life-threatening danger. In fact, in front of you was a man you trusted wholeheartedly. He’d protect you. He’d… wait for you.

He did wait. He waited for you to decide. He let you lead a lot of the relationship, until he was confident that you were completely comfortable.

Everything about him made you feel safe. He was practically perfect. Even when working hard- pushing himself past his limit, then a little further- protecting innocent lives, while risking his own innocent life- he made time for you.

You sniffled, looking up quickly once you felt a large hand rest on your head. You were resting your head on the edge of the bed where your injured boyfriend was lying. It was a dangerous fight- as if not all of them were. He was beaten up pretty badly- bandages littered his body, and the arm not on your head was resting in a sling.

“What’s the matter!”

You squinted, nearly reaching to hit him, but stopping yourself. At that, he laughed, not intending any harm. In his eyes, it was just a little beating. The Demon Slayer Corps had still one that fight- it was one less demon to terrorize humans- it was a victory. So what if he got a few scratches? Surely, he was bound to recover quickly!!

“You’re… hurt, Kyojuro.”

“So it appears!! However, I’m alive and well!! I’ll heal quickly, I promise you!”

You shook your head, removing his hand from your head, and holding it carefully. “That’s not my concern. I mean- I do want you to heal quickly, but- but… I know I can’t convince you to quit. I wouldn’t want to do that. This is your passion… I just worry about you… aren’t Upper Moons as strong as 3 Hashira? That’s- that’s three of you. What if you encountered one of them alone-?”

“They wouldn’t send me to fight an Upper Moon alone, hahaha! And, if I encounter one, I’ll just have to fight 3 times as hard!! I won’t die so easily!!”

His words were reassuring, and you knew he’d fight as hard as he could, but… all his bold, joyful words couldn’t stop every fear you had. You loved him too much to let a fear like that slip. Still, you tightened your grip on his hand, nodding and offering him a smile. In times like these, he continued to grin. You could do the same.

Rengoku was kind. He was kind to you- kind to his brother, his father, and everyone. You were kind as well, or as kind as you could be. It still felt hard to match his pure kindness though- if you had to list favorite things about him, that would certainly be at the top. The way he treated others. The way he smiled, the way he listened patiently, and offered his kindest words all the time.

“I’m so sorry!” Senjuro apologized, dropping the wooden sword, and bringing his hands to his mouth worriedly. Though you had been watching a bit to the side, you stepped forward, wincing at the bruise already forming on the side of Kyojuro’s face.

“That was impressive!!!” Kyojuro shouted, practically sparkling. “Your arm is certainly getting better! That was an amazing hit! I’m proud!!”

At that, you laughed lightly, as Senjuro sighed, bringing his hands down a bit. “I’ll go get ice!” Senjuro added quickly, standing straight, then running towards the house. You sat next to Kyojuro, glancing at the bruise, then at his happy expression.

“Did that hurt?”

“Yes! Isn’t that wonderful?!”

You laughed again, leaning your head against his shoulder, then sitting back up. “I understand where you’re coming from, I just… ahh, I would have been upset if that was my sibling.”

“No way!! A bruise is forming!! If that was a real sword, he surely would have cut me nicely! That’s incredible! Should he choose the same path I have, he’ll make an amazing slayer!!”

Senjuro ran back out, offering his brother ice covered lightly in a cloth. Kyojuro thanked him loudly, placing the ice to his face, then standing back up.

“Now! Are you ready to continue?!!”

You loved him… as days like those passed, you grew to gladly accept it. You wanted to tell him. You wanted to tell others. It was overwhelming, in the best way possible now. It… made your heart feel warm. It made you so happy. You weren’t as scared. You were happy that you were in love- and even happier that you were at a point where you could embrace it…

You stood next to him, outside of your house, the stars twinkling brightly above the both of you. You knew, as did he, that it was nearly time for Kyojuro to head home. You wanted to make excuses though- there had to be a reason to make him stay. He wanted an excuse too- but, you settled for standing outside, the stars your excuse.

“Father and Senjuro are probably sound asleep!” He said, placing a hand on your back. You nodded, glancing over at him, and finding that he was already looking at you.

“There are probably demons and animals out…” You added, looking back up at the stars.

“I don’t live far, of course! Plus, I can fend for myself!”

“I don’t doubt that you can.”

Silence ensued. Neither of you moved.

“I love you, (Y/N),” Kyojuro said, as he had several times before. Those times, you’d smile, offering a thank you- but now, you knew you loved him too. In such a casual moment like this, your love for him made your chest feel full.

“I love you too, Kyojuro,” You responded. Your words were a bit louder than usual- you wanted to make sure he heard you. To make sure he knew you were proud of your love.

His usual smile grew to a grin, and an uncharacteristic blush grew on his face. It was barely visible, especially in the moonlight, but you were glad you weren’t the only one.

His hand on your back moved to your shoulder, and he pulled you over gently into a side-hug. You grinned this time, wrapping an arm around his side as well. He was warm. He was so very alive. Yet… that live- that warmth, that grin- you weren’t aware how limited it was.

…

“Be safe, Kyojuro,” You said, hugging him tightly. Something felt off. You tried to convince him to hold back, but he was determined. You knew good and well he’d die protecting others. He’d be happy to. He wasn’t suicidal- he didn’t want to die- but he would. You knew he would.

Kyojuro hugged back, his smile never faltering as his strong arms squeezed you lightly.

“It’s just a train ride! I’ll be back, so don’t worry!!”

He lied.

Kyojuro released the hug, just to hug his brother, who wore a similarly worried expression as you did. Neither of you had heard of fighting on a train. All the passengers- such a limited space. Was it especially dangerous? No, it had to be the same as any other fight, right-? Then, why were you both so worried…

As Kyojuro departed, you placed a hand on Senjuro’s shoulder. The youngest Rengoku glanced up at you, offering an empty smile- it was similar to his brothers, only missing the honesty.

Now, you sat, crumpled to the floor, your heart aching worse than you had ever expected. It hurt. It hurt so badly. You never knew pain this bad.

Your fears were a reality. Falling in love- falling so deeply in love- then losing it. Losing it in the worst way possible. In all of your agony, you could have promised you saw even the crow that delivered the news crying. He hadn’t changed only your life… he touched so many others’. Each of the Hashira. His brother. His father. The slayers. Complete strangers.

Kyojuro’s bright smile would forever be imprinted in your mind, even as you sobbed, practically cursing whatever entity let something like this befall. Cursing whichever demon that did something like that to such an amazing man.

Tears streamed down your face, no words being able to express how badly you hurt, as you picked up a letter from Senjuro.

“Tanjiro told me that he was smiling.”

Tears already fell upon the paper, belonging to Senjuro. Now yours coated it as well, as you felt another pang in your heart. Despite that, and despite the sobs that still wracked your body, you smiled lightly. “Of course you were, you idiot…”

You knew he wasn’t an idiot. And you knew his smile was genuine. He was happy to die protecting others. He won the battle he went to win- you were sure he injured the monster that attacked him. No- that demon didn’t deserve to be called something as lighthearted and overused as a monster- there were no words to describe such a disgusting coward such as him. But now Kyojuro is with his mom… his hearing is returned. His injuries are nonexistent. He’s smiling in whatever afterlife there is. He’s rejoicing with all the other Rengokus. All of his friends he lost along the way. He’s celebrating, and cheering for all of the slayers that are still battling on. He’s encouraging everyone. Praying for the battles that are to come- no matter how big and small. Praying for those pained by his loss- encouraging everyone to move on. To keep their heads up. To keep smiling, just as he did.

“Thank you, Kyo… I love you so much,” You whispered, hugging the letter to your chest.

Even if he wasn’t present physically, you were still sure you could hear him. “I love you too, (Y/N).” Yes, definitely… you heard him. And, with his life forever engrained with yours, you’d live proudly, selfishly, for his sake. You’d live, holding your head high, and smiling no matter the obstacles you’d face.

But, for now, it was okay to cry. Kyojuro would allow that. You knew for sure.

[n3onstarss]

this is just a comfort one-shot because I'm gay and seeking comfort in fictional characters

Optimus Prime and Bumble Bee x Therian! reader headcannons and oneshot

Optimus

Tries his best to make you feel more comfortable, be that by helping you find food that fits your theriotype(s)'s diet(s) or by helping you practice quadrobics and giving tips, even helping you build nests/dens with blankets and pillows or rocks and branches depending on your needs

If your theriotype was fast or tall or could fly he lets you sit on the roof of his car form or carries you on his shoulders and goes as fast as he can to match your theriotype (s)

if your theriotype was a burrowing or climbing animal (or you just like small spaces) he'll let you hide on or near him during whatever he's doing. he especially likes when you are in the spot between his head and neck, it makes him feel good knowing you're right there and safe. hell also let you climb on him

He really likes to study your behaviors during mental shifts to see what you'll need for next time you have a shift

Bumblebee

He dislikes when you have phantom shifts and look for your limbs only to be disappointed when your limbs aren't there, so he'll sit you down and help you find things that replicate that feeling (for example, you'll both sit for hours looking for cat ears if your a cat therian or for fake tails and such! sometimes he likes to make you metal ones and, after a year or two of collecting parts and knowledge you both make a metal one that responds like a regular tail!)

Sometimes he panics when you have a mental shift moment (moment of being upset that is) or when you hiss/growl (if you do) and just kinda looks around before trying whatever he was doing again. if he gets the same response he stops

He really likes when you tell him fun facts about your theriotype(s)

Will take you on trips to local museums if your a paleotherian and/or on nature walks in general

LOVES to cuddle. this isn't even therian specific he just wants cuddles

he tries to bake you foods flavored after your theriotype diet.. and ends up making fish/meat/plant/bug flavored cupcakes. well, he tried and that's what counts

learns from that mistake and just makes you a fish sticks/sandwich/salad. you still love it either way

one shot:

Your partners (Optimus and Bumblebee) are comforting you during a /neg shift/breakdown over never being able to return to that body. also reader is transmasc bcs this is a comfort one-shot for myself when i have this situation myself. this is more focused on my (probably dire wolf or coyote) canine theriotype

You had already been having a bad week. work was overstimulating and stressful as-is and on top of that you hadn't been sleeping well, staying up for 35+ hours twice this week. You'd also been having trouble trying to figure out your theriotype exactly. you knew it was a wild canine, that was about it.

One night, a Saturday, your mind exploded or so it seemed. you had a headache. you ended up playing minecraft to distract yourself from the pounding pressure, but it only seemed to make it worse. the constant clicking of the buttons, constantly being lost and/or dying and the time it took for you to remove blocks seemed to nag at you. your lovers were both doing their own things out of the house, well if you could call it a house.

it was a old workshop-type garage that you three had bought and remodeled. the large space and tall roof made living with the two autobots much easier. it had two floors, the ground floor that was just cement, and the wrap-aroumd balcony of a second floor, which was just big enough for them to walk on. the second floor didnt cover all of the first, leaving a large 40x50 ft area where the boys could park or where you would project a movie onto the closed garage door and do movie nights. with a bit of supplies, tools and a LOT of YouTube DIYs you had managed to DIY your own couch and chairs and just about every type of furniture for the three of you. almost every, you never made a bed. you preferred your little den of blankets in the corner and they preferred their car forms, it just felt safer to them and to you. sometimes you would move your den to one of their back seats or they would join you in the den (there was a explicit rule of no cars in the den.)

it felt out of nowhere, and you didn't know what happened to trigger it, but you felt that longing for your past lives. to run and to hunt and climb and live as you please. you reminisced on that feeling of being utterly free. then that crash of euphoria hit. the phantom limbs you felt so strongly faded and we're gone, that feeling of being free plummeted and you realized you could never go back. hell, you couldn't go back to that life AND they stuck you in the wrong body with the wrong parts and gender. you really got the short end of the stick. your binder started to feel too tight as you began to hyperventilate and started to drown in your own mind, blanking out the world.

how long had it been since this had started? tears were still in a free fall down your face as you were drawn out of the only depths of your thoughts and back to the dim world you were stuck in, not the oh so vibrant one you remembered in your mental shifts. you tried to process what had drawn you out of your stupor and realized the sound of paper bags being moved around coming from the kitchen area, diagonally across the open space that your boys often parked, and from where you sat hunched over in your den. when had you left the couch? why had you left the couch in the first place?

Well, you really didn't know what was happening and right now you could care less. you leant against the wall and stared at the corner, looking comparable to a kid in time out but you couldn't care less right now. your tears finally began to slow, not because you were feeling better, but because you were dehydrating. if you were already out of steam then how long had it been? why did your mouth feel so dry? your nose was running and you simply wiped it on your sleeve, sniffing after to make sure it would take a while before you had to again.

Across the room, a certain someone noticed that you weren't in any of your usual places. usually you met Bee at the door, usually you were playing video games on the couch, usually you were outside playing with this weeks stray dog (which you then had to go drop off at the shelter when the boys came home, but not without a picture first! your fridge was plastered in those photos) you were doing none of those. eyes scanned the room, panicking slightly at your apparent absence, before landing on you. He could see your shoulders shaking, even from across the house, and he didn't know what to do. he panicked, and you could hear his radio skipping around but couldn't bring yourself to question why.

Hurriedly, Bumblebee shot a message to Optimus with a picture attached of you in your den corner asking what to do. Optimus quickly responded telling Bee that he would be right there in just a minute and to try to bring you back to reality. (Optimus knew that this had been building up this week, the reminiscing, and knew you would need a return to reality. you always did.) Bee, having received his message, decided his best option was to just be near you and try his best.

You could hear heavy metal footsteps walk over to the couch and the sounds of a remote being clicked around before the TV was shut off. You didn't move a muscle as, just a moment later, a weighted blanket was dropped over your shoulders and a metal form sat down near you, but not right next to you. you glanced over at the yellow autobot, brain finally registering and processing what was going on due to the weight of the blanket and nearness of your partner bringing you back to earth. You adored that he kept a bit of distance and didn't sit right next to you. Bee, not saying anything or moving, just sat and stared blankly across the room. You were a blur of color as you were suddenly clinging to him like a koala, blanket bunched down behind you and across Bee's lap instead of over your shoulders from where you'd reached up to hug him.

a few tears began to flow freely again as you let it all out, still dehydrating. Telling Bee what happened in a frantic voice as you squeezed him tight. He was sure that if he was human he wouldn't have been able to breathe, but he was lucky he wasn't. he gently pulled up your blanket again and rested his hands on your back, adding even more gentle and comforting weight on top of your barely shaking form.

Optimus pulled into the open area a little bit later, maybe 14 minutes or less, and immediately began the sequence of transformation to, well.. transform. He saw that Bumblebee had you in his arms and you were explaining hurriedly what happened. He opted to grab you you a water bottle and a cookie, you looked dehydrated and he knew sugar cookies were your favorite. Optimus gave Bumblebee a quizzical look, as if asking if he was okay to come over, and Bee responded with a small nod.

Optimus's footsteps gave away his approach. He was determined to let you know about his approach so he didn't startle you so he took heavier steps then usual. He sat down in the corner you were just in, next to you and Bee. Gently, he reached out and handed you your water bottle and cookie. Bee gave you a little nudge with his arms to let you know you both were moving and moved to sit between Optimus's open legs, back to the bot. You all became a cuddle train, as Bee called it, as you finished your frantic explanation, chugging your water bottle quickly before nibbling on your cookie as Optimus shushed you gently and began whispering little comforting phrases, letting you know "it'll be okay" and "Bee and I are right here, we're not going anywhere unless you want us to." while Bee beeped after each assurance with either his own sequence of assurances or agreements with what Optimus was saying.

Eventually the three of you fell asleep in the nest, dozing off to the quiet, calm songs Bee was playing for you three. You were happy to be living this life instead of your last ones because you had your boys with you, and that was all that mattered.

The end!

[corruptedconfessions]

So I was talking about a Hawks!Lactation kink idea in the nsfw chat of the Lovesick discord server and @shorkbrian got me started on a Shouto with an Oedipus complex idea and encouraged me to post it so uwu here you go, hope you enjoy Also im tagging @sawamooora bc they’re awesome uwu

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~The initial idea~~~

Shouto uses you as a comfort for the child hood he didn't have, but then it turns into Oedipus complex and now he wants to fuck his mother figure aka you

Just imagine a really mothering/mature reader though, who is just peak mom friend and constantly is looking after him and lightly nagging him to take care of himself, keeping an eye on him, comforting him when he seems upset. And the poor boy having never had that from either parent just l a t ch e s onto reader and refuses to let them go. Ever.  

At first you are more a friend of a friend, but that doesn't stop you from fussing over him, bringing him snacks when you notice he hasn't eaten, telling him to drink more water and stay hydrated, fussing over him not wearing a jacket when its cold or wearing too many layers when its hot. He's confused at first but soon eagerly accepts your attention and concern, living for the smile and praise you give him when he remembers to take care of himself or does something that you are proud of. The two of you will steadily grow closer, from friends to best friends, and he hopes and hopes and hopes it will become more than that, that your relationship will evolve easily like it had been, but it doesn't. Insecurity and worry about you leaving him, finding someone else, getting bored of him grow inside him.

Soon he finds himself jealous and frustrated when you fuss over or mother other people. He'll find himself acting more dramatically over injuries or small colds so you'll fret over him and take care of him. Anything to keep you close. Anything to keep your warm comforting touch on him and nobody else.

He'll continue to grow clingier and clingier, huddling to your side and demanding your attention nearly all the time. He'll start to act more like a spoiled child than a friend. You'll start to get a little uncomfortable, concerned about this new behavior, and figure you need to take a step back and start giving him more space, make him become more independent again. Stop mothering and babying him and start acting more like a normal friend 

Big mistake 

He can't go back to living empty and scared and alone again

This just makes him panic, terrified of losing the only warmth, the only comfort he has ever had in his life other than the vague memories of his mother back before... He can't lose you like he lost her. So he starts plotting. Sure, he knows he needs you, needs you to take care of him, but how can he do that with all these people getting in the way?! They are the ones that are ruining this for the two of you! Clearly you love him just as much as he loves you but your gentle nature is stopping you from telling all these irritating side characters from leaving you alone! He'll just have to help you...He needs to remove all those petty distractions from your life, then you can be with him right? You want to be with him, you want to take care of him, but you'd just feel too guilty deciding that on your own...That's okay. He can make that decision for the two of you!

  ~~~The kidnapping~~~

 I'm just thinking about him later now though. He'll painfully set up an entire house for you, make sure the kitchen is stocked so you can cook him meals, a large bathroom for the two of you. A big bed so you can cuddle and kiss on him as you lull him to sleep every night. Oh, you hadn't done that for him yet. Would you be a lullaby person? Or would you tell him stories or talk about your day? or maybe you would just kiss his forehead and pet his hair until he drifts off to sleep, snuggled up to your chest. 

He'll make sure everything is completely perfect for you. Set up and ready so all you will have to focus on is taking care of him. Just like you always wanted, right?

Now getting you there is the harder part, he knows you'll probably feel guilty abandoning everything in your life even if you really want to, so he needs to take all that hard deciding and cutting ties stuff for you! And what better way to fix that for you then to just take you and have you wake up, happy and safe in your new world. *His* world.

~~~When the horny sets in~~~

I think probably take a little while after kidnapping tbh

At first he's just happy to have you there, taking care of him again (even if its out of terror of his fits) But then he can't help but notice how good you look, and how your body pressed against his at night, face resting on or nuzzled between your tits. He'll think a lot about your tits. You were so good for him, for providing for him, you would let him feed from you too, right? You loved him so much you would let him drink your milk wouldn't you?

That's how it'll start officially. One night he'll lift your shirt up, burrowing his face underneath the fabric so he's trapped between it and your chest. He'll shush you and hold you down when you flail and blush, asking him what he's doing. "Hold still, mommy." The word will have you stiffening, freezing up and giving him the perfect opportunity to settle himself down, draped across your lap, nuzzled up to your chest, mouth latched onto your nipple. At first he will just love the safety and comfort of it. Being warm and dark, feeling safe and cared for nuzzled up to your breast. But it won't be long that first time before he's hardening in his pants, panting softly against your nipple as he drags his tongue across it, getting more and more worked up the more he stays pressed up against you.

You'll take care of this for him too wont you, mommy? You will take care of everything for him, even this. You'll let him fuck you wont you, mommy?

[im-the-king-of-the-ocean]

5 for Nuts and Dolts, because the hug in the trailer is still on continuous loop in my head and the only thing better than an angsty hug is an angsty hug AND KISS 8 for Data Farm, because I'm weak for the idea of Oscar being unexpectedly prince-like and making Penny feel like a princess (or the other way around) I can't remember the number, but the interrupted kiss for rosegarden No pressure to do all of these, I just couldn't decide on one ship because I love all of them

(as a brief refresher: Data Farms Fic Link, Rosegarden Fic Link)

...and here’s to finally being able to answer this ask and revealing the ridiculous (sort of) secret plan I’ve carried out over a month (or two maybe idk) and what’s now a six-chapter fic!

(no, I’m not joking, this (Rose Puppetry) was literally A Thing bc I’m Like That)

So, to explain, way back when I was doing requests for this kissing meme, it was around the same time that you introduced me to the Mechanisms music, and then the Magnus Archives after that.

Subsequently, I thought it would be really cool to make one of these three requests Steampunk-themed.  I decided on the Nuts and Dolts one bc, when I first listened to Once Upon A Time (In Space), I associated Ruby and Penny heavily with Rose and Cinders (I think it was bc the album was brought up in reference to Souls or something like that?  Also Rose Puppetry was my alternative solution to just derailing Souls completely into Being A Steampunk Fic).

Anyways, I started out with the intent to do a short oneshot where Penny breaks into a facility to save Ruby, which would be reminiscent of the final attack on Old King Cole that led to Cinders being reunited with Rose.

Except then I got carried away by world-building (bc it was so freaking fun) and Rose Puppetry became an entire multi-chapter fic all of its own.

For the record, I think I originally @ you when I posted the first chapter bc I was going to say that the fic was a response to this prompt and then quite literally forgot to actually say that anywhere.  I then realized that, if I kept quiet about it, I could turn it into a surprise, which seemed like a fun thing to do, so I went for it.

Anyways, I hope you enjoy the end of Rose Puppetry!

.

5. Throwing their arms around the other person’s neck, hugging them close before kissing them passionately on the lips.

...

Rose Puppetry Ch6: The Tale of Little Briar and the Huntress in the Cottage

Summary:

A century ago or so, Atlas set out to conquer the world.  Penny was built to be a spy, an infiltrator meant to find weaknesses in Vale’s defenses before the invasion.

She did.  Then she fell in love.  And rebelled against the kingdom that had created her.

Ch1.  Ch2.  Ch3.  Ch4.  Ch5.

Every child in Patch knows of the Huntress who lives in the cottage on the outskirts of town.  Their great protector, who keeps the dangers of the woods at bay so they can go about their lives safely.  No one knows, not really, where she came from.  The youngest kids among them generally want to ask, but their parents usually shush them before they can try.  It’s considered improper, prying into what should be left well enough alone.

Briar knows more about the Huntress than any of her peers, but you’d never catch her boasting about it in the school yard.  No sir.  She can keep a secret extremely well, she can.  Well that, and she doesn’t want the Huntress to be upset with her and ask her father to not allow her to make the weekly deliveries anymore.  Briar loves visiting the Huntress’s cottage, with its duck pond and its thick bramble of roses.  But, most importantly, she loves being let inside and allowed to watch the Huntress work for just a little while.

For, in addition to being their protector against the scary monsters that lurk in the woods, the Huntress is Patch’s one and only mechanic.  There used to be more, of course, but that was back before Briar was born and they all got called off to fight in the Great War against Atlas.

Briar once asked if the Huntress fought in the Great War, too.  She remembers how the Huntress fell silent, the gloomy expression that had seamlessly eclipsed the Huntress’s entire being, and quietly swore never to ask again.  It’s not important for her to know, Briar decided.  Not like learning how gears, cogs, and screws all fit into machinery and make things like the big clock in the tower in the center of town work.

It’s a sunny day.  A few wisps of clouds linger in the sky, but not many.  Briar skips home from school, humming a happy tune of her own creation as she goes.  She briefly pauses to scratch the noses of the cows who’ve wandered to the fence of their pasture bordering the road.  The cows moo at her and sniff Briar’s fingertips for treats.

“Sorry, I don’t have anything for you today.”  Briar giggles as their chin whiskers tickle her.  “If I have time after I visit Ms. Rose, I’ll try and bring you all back something, but I make no promises.”

She continues on her way, only stopping in the Mech Field to pick a collection of bright, cheerful wildflowers.  Briar pauses to consider the ruins of the old war machines, but Ms. Rose once warned her very sternly not to get too close to the fallen mechs without her supervision, so Briar doesn’t.  Instead, she takes a spare hair ribbon out of her school bag, ties it snugly around the stems of her wildflowers to keep them properly bunched together, and heads home.

Her mother has the weekly grocery basket for Ms. Rose waiting when Briar arrives.  She helps Briar securely fasten it to the deliveries bicycle and situate the flower bouquet on top so the bumpy ride won’t jostle them too much.

“Keep an eye on the time,” Briar’s mother gives her the usual warning.  “And, if it starts growing dark, have Ms. Rose walk you home.”

Briar rolls her eyes.  She’s big enough to come home all on her own, even after sunset, she thinks.  Still, she promises, “I will!” before taking off on the bicycle.

Smoke lazily drifts into the sky from Ms. Rose’s cottage’s chimney as Briar makes her approach.  The huntress’s dog, a great, big creature with a lumbering gait and a lolling tongue, appropriately named ‘Wolf’, runs to greet Briar as she approaches.  She slows her bicycle to a stop and dismounts.

“Hey, Wolfie.”  Briar scratches behind the dog’s ears, and gets licked enthusiastically for it.  She laughs.  Wolf dances excited circles around Briar as she walks over and leans her bicycle against the cottage.  “Stop that!”  Briar commands Wolf, only half serious.  “I have to get the groceries inside!”  She nudges the door open and walks into the cottage.

“Ms. Rose?  Are you here?”  Briar calls out.

“In the workshop, Briar!”  Ms. Rose yells back from somewhere deep inside.  Briar grins.  With some care, she shoves the groceries in the refrigerator.  Ms. Rose will organize them however she pleases later, after a few more hours of work, at least.

Briar goes to hurry through the kitchen, but remembers herself, and pauses at the sink to fill a pitcher with water for her wildflower bouquet.  She carefully lowers the flowers in and unties her hair ribbon from around their stems.  Then, after tidying the bouquet a little, Briar walks further into the cottage.  She doesn’t go immediately to the workshop, but to a room Ms. Rose only recently granted her permission to enter.

Briar pauses and takes a breath in the doorway of the bedroom.  It’s always a bit weird to do this.  She’s never actually met Ms. Penny.  Not back before, when she was awake.  Ms. Penny doesn’t know who she is.  Never had the chance to, really.

Regardless, flowers always make Briar feel better when she isn’t feeling well.  With Wolf padding loyally at her side, Briar approaches the bed where Ms. Penny serenely sleeps and situates the bouquet on the table beside it.

“Good day, Ms. Penny,” Briar speaks politely, for she’s never spoken to a mechanical person, or one who’s never woken up, before Penny.  Briar still feels kind of odd about that, but, since she first stumbled across Penny’s room, she’s been determined to try and make her feel better (if that’s at all possible).

“Spring’s here.  The first of Mr. Oobleck’s lambs were born the other day.”  Briar starts her usual, short, babbling update about life in Patch.  “They’re extremely cute.  I’ll draw you a picture, so, when you wake up, you won’t have missed seeing them.”

“She’d like that, I think.”

Briar jumps, and spins around.  Ms. Rose stands in the doorway, leaning against its frame.  She smiles softly at Briar, and joins her by Penny’s bedside.  “Penny never…I think she always lived in cities before we met.”  Ms. Rose takes a deep breath.  “I’m not sure she’s ever gotten the chance to see a newborn lamb.”

“Then this will be her first time,” Briar says confidently.

“Yes.”  Ms. Rose smiles sadly down at Briar.  “Run along to the workshop now.  I left today’s assignment out on the table for you.  Try to see if you can get started on your own.  I’ll be along in a moment.”

Briar does as she’s told, but not before stopping just outside the bedroom and sneakily poking her head back in to watch Ms. Rose gently smooth Penny’s long, soft copper curls and place a kiss on her forehead.

“Don’t wait too much longer to wake up, my love, alright?”  Ms. Rose whispers.

Briar slips away, feeling a little guilty about spying on such a private moment.  She doesn’t know why Ms. Penny sleeps, what caused her to fall into her lasting slumber in the first place, but Briar does know that Ms. Rose came to Patch to have a quiet, safe place to repair her.

The assignment Ms. Rose set out for Briar that day is a small music box.  One that had, in all likeliness, played a lovely melody at some point, but has long since worn out.  Repairing it shouldn’t be the hardest of tasks.  Not now that Briar is a handful of months out of transitioning from ‘kid who gets to watch the Huntress work’ to ‘unofficial mechanic’s apprentice’.

Ever so carefully, Briar removes a tiny, rusty gear from the music box with her tweezers and sets it aside.  She looks to Ms. Rose, who smiles reassuringly back at her.  Briar finds the replacement gear, plucks it up with the tweezers, and goes to insert it right where it needs to—

“Hello?!  Huntress are you here?”  A voice shouts into the cottage.  Wolf scrambles up from lying under where Briar’s feet dangle off her stool and barks loudly.  Briar jumps.  Her tweezers fall out of her hand.  The replacement gear goes flying.

“Just a moment!”  Ms. Rose calls back.  She helps Briar retrieve the gear from where it’s fallen to the floor.  “Think you can work on your own for a bit?”  Ms. Rose asks.  When Briar nods, the huntress wipes grease and oil smudges off her fingertips onto her leather apron and goes to see who has come asking after her aid.

Briar half listens to the ensuing conversation about a broken down car on the road as it drifts through the cottage to her.  Ms. Rose briefly returns to the workshop for her portable tool kit, and then leaves to go repair the automobile in question.  She promises she’ll check Briar’s handiwork upon her return.  Wolf ambles back over to Briar.  The dog circles a couple times to settle, and then returns to napping.

For the next couple of hours while Briar works, things are quiet and peaceful.  She finishes repairing the music box.  With bated breath, Briar winds it up and sets it down on the worktable.  A soft tune fills the air.  Briar can’t help but smile.

Too excited to wait until Ms. Rose gets back to show off her success, Briar carefully scoops the music box up in her hands and carries it to Penny’s room.  She puts it down by the wildflowers she brought earlier, and lets it play its song a second time.

So caught up on listening to the music box’s melody is Briar, she doesn’t catch when it’s joined by the sounds of other mechanisms whirling and clicking.  Ones that have long remained at rest, but, at the sound of a comforting song, rouse again.

Movement catches Briar’s attention.  Before she realizes what’s happened, a pair of bright, dazzling green eyes meet her own.  They almost seem to glow, as if they’re lightbulbs that have spent a long, long time charging up and want to celebrate the chance to finally illuminate.

“H-hello?”  The voice is hoarse, creaky with disuse.  It’s nothing like Briar imagined it would be.  “Briar?”

Briar blinks rapidly.  “You know me?” slips from her lips before she can stop the question.

“Of course.”  Tentatively, Penny moves to push herself up in a sitting position.  One of her hands slips before she can put weight down on it.  Briar rushes forward to help support her.  “Thank you.”  Penny smiles gratefully at Briar.  “To answer your question, I heard you.  The days you came and talked to me and brought me flowers.”  She pauses.  “I’d very much like to see Mr. Oobleck’s lambs.”

“Oh.”  Briar takes a minute to process this.  “I didn’t think…” she’s not sure what to say.  She’s imagined this moment hundreds of times, but, now that it’s happening, Briar’s mind is frustratingly blank.

“It’s alright.”  Penny gives her a small, soft smile.  “It’s not everyday someone you’ve only known as a ‘sleeping lady’ wakes up.”

“I-err-yeah…” Briar pauses.  “If you don’t mind me asking, how could you hear me all those times?  Since you were asleep?”

Penny inhales deeply and exhales, the clockwork of her body moving with the motion.  “It’s a bit complicated.  A short explanation would be that, even without enough power to function normally, I could still record audio.” Penny shoots a knowing smirk in Briar’s direction.  “I would love to give you the fully detailed explanation.  Later.  If you don’t mind, there’s someone who’s long overdue for a hug, I think.”

Briar’s eyes widen.  “Oh!  Ms. Rose!  Of course!”  She scrambles up to fetch Penny a walking stick to lean upon as she gets up.  “She went out to repair someone’s car.  I think it’s just down the road!”  Briar hovers, ready to support Penny if she needs help with walking.  When Penny makes it to the doorway on her own, Briar relaxes a little.

Together, with Wolf keeping pace with them (and Briar would swear the dog is keeping as much a careful eye on Penny as she herself is), they make their way outside.

Penny pauses, and looks up at the blue, blue sky.  She blinks.  If she were capable of crying, she probably would have.  “I never dreamed I’d see it again.”  Penny whispers.  She turns to look ahead, down the road she and Briar intend to walk, and sees someone coming toward them on it.  Penny gasps.

There is one sight that Penny dreamed of, longed for, during her oh so very long slumber.  One sight, her vague, ethereal thoughts could never quite capture, but tried to constantly.  The person she sees on the road doesn’t quite fit the picture Penny remembers.  The person is no longer a youthful maiden, but a full grown woman.  Her black-red hair is longer, kept in an untidy braid over one shoulder.  She’s wearing the garb of a mechanic, and not combat dress.  Branching scars, leftover from a (Grimm) time Penny would very much like to leave in the past, dance across her skin.

“Ruby.”

Penny breathes the name out at the same time Ruby sees her, stops, and stares.

A moment passes where no one moves, where the world is held frozen in shock.  Anxiety ripples over Ruby’s face.  Worry that needs no verbal words to describe it.  That Penny won’t love this older version of her.  That this person she had to grow into while she patiently waited for Penny to wake up isn’t someone Penny will be able to bring herself to love.

Penny takes a step forward, and then another.  Her walking stick is cast aside as she recalls how to push her legs into motion as fast as she can.  She runs, reaching Ruby in the blink of an eye.  Eager to vanquish all the anxieties she sees in her beloved, Penny takes Ruby up in her arms and spins her around and around.  She laughs, causing Ruby to laugh with relief too.

They’re together.  Nothing, no war or conflict or spiders who want to control them, can get in the way of that any longer.  They may have once been puppets in a grand scheme, but they’re free now.  Free to do whatever they wish, as long as they wish.

Penny stops spinning Ruby around.  She holds her close, drinking in the sight of Ruby’s sparkling, silver eyes.  Without thinking about it, they press their foreheads together and simply gaze at each other.

Later, they’ll let Briar commit a condensed version of their story down on paper.  A fairytale, it will be.  One only a handful will actually believe there’s truth to, but that’s just as well to them.  Right now, this moment?  This moment is just for them.

Ruby wraps her arms around Penny.  Penny leans in.  Their lips find each other.  Tentative, unsure, aware they have a lot to adjust to again with each other (but eager to get started).  The kiss is soft and sweet.  A promise of many, many more to come.

They don’t live happily ever after.  For Penny and Ruby’s story doesn’t end here.  It goes on, with many days full of love, and equally as many filled with struggle as they learn each other’s embrace again.  There are moments when the scars of the past threaten to consume them, and moments filled with nothing but laughter and joy.

Overall, though?

Penny and Ruby live together for a very, very long time, and that time together is largely marked by their shared happiness.

[livian-lucifenia]

Another Soft Fic™

༻﹡﹡﹡❤💚﹡﹡﹡༺

This is like a prologue to the eboy AU, which has 10 different variations at this point, bc my mind takes things and runs with them.

They're about 15-16-ish and just staring to develop their individual clothing styles. Green's got a bit of a soft grunge thing going on, and Red is the softest pastel boy there is.

Green's jacket is basically the one he wears in HGSS, except it's all black, denim, and has a bunch of holes in random spots. (definitely didn't base it on an jacket I have irl. nope. not at all.)

I will read this over later and make corrections where needed, bc this was written while I was running on 2 hours of sleep.

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

Red hated airports.

Too many people, too much noise, and never enough space.

But for right now, he hated it a bit less. Green was here, and so was Daisy, and his mom.

He could cling to Green's side and avoid the intimidating crowds, listen to his voice and tune out the chattering of other people. It was as if Green himself was Red's safety bubble. With him around, he wasn't as afraid of venturing out of his comfort zone.

And that's what made Red so scared to see Green leave for Kalos.

His security blanket in human form was leaving for three years, and he was terrified. He'd already cried over it once this morning, and was trying his best to keep his emotions in check while sitting next to Green.

"I have about twenty minutes before boarding starts. You wanna go grab a snack or something?", Green said, nudging Red's shoulder.

Red felt the sting in his eyes again. He only had twenty minutes left with him? "Can we... just stay here?", he asked quietly, staring down at his lap.

"Yeah, that's fine. Are you okay?"

"Hm?"

"You've been really quiet- Well, more quiet than usual."

Red rubbed his arm, "It's just cold in here..." And I've been thinking about you all day, because I don't want you to leave.

"Oh, then...", Green moved forward on his seat, taking off his black jacket and handing it to Red, "Here."

"But you're leaving soon...", he looked down at the jacket, thumbs rubbing over the worn, soft denim.

"Keep it."

"Wh-What?"

"It's getting kinda small for me, so just keep it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I was gonna give it to you anyway. I know black clothes aren't your thing, but I thought it would be a nice parting gift.", He smiled, watching Red put on the jacket. It was a bit too big, and stood out against his light colored clothing, but looked good on him nonetheless.

The warmth of the jacket felt good against Red's arms, and the familiar smell of Green's cologne helped calm him. He really was going to miss Green. A lot more than he originally thought. With that sudden realization, the first couple tears fell from his eyes. Red heard Green softly call his name and hesitantly turned to look at him.

Green frowned, "If I had known you were this upset over me leaving, I would have tried to spend more time with you. I'm sorry...", he leaned over, wrapping his arms around Red. He could feel each sharp inhale as Red tried to stop crying. It made him feel horrible to know that he had to leave him like this, and couldn't comfort him.

Red returned the embrace, holding on to Green's shoulders tightly. It felt nice, having Green hold him. But he knew it was short-lived, and that any minute now he would have to let go and watch Green leave.

Sure enough, the boarding announcement sounded through the airport and Red felt his heart sink. He held on to him tighter, hands gripping his black t-shirt.

"Red, I... I have to go.", Green reluctantly released his hold, "I promise I'll call everyday.", he said, wiping some of Red's tears away.

Red nodded sadly, completely removing himself from Green. "I'll miss you..."

"I'll miss you too, Red.", he stood up, grabbing his backpack from the floor in the process.

Red's mom and Daisy came over to say their goodbyes while Red pulled Green's jacket around himself. He was trying his best not to cry again, but when he saw Green turn away to leave, he couldn't stop. Without realizing it, he took a few steps forward, as if his feet moved on their own to follow Green. He watched as Green approached the gathering crowd of people, and suddenly stopped, turning back to look in their direction.

When he looked back at Red, he knew he couldn't leave him like this. He only had a few short minutes to spare, but it was enough. Green ran back to him, hugging him one last time, "I'll see you during spring break. Please don't cry anymore..."

Green pulled away to look at him, his hand moving up to hold Red's face before leaning back in and kissing him. He could taste Red's strawberry chapstick, feel his soft skin beneath his fingertips, and Arceus he didn't want to leave him. He pulled away, only to press a couple more quick kisses to his lips, "I'll call as soon as I get settled in, okay?", he said quietly.

Red's eyes fluttered open and looked up into Green's, he nodded, "Please stay safe..."

"I will, don't worry."

One last soft, slow kiss and then he was gone for real this time.

Red smiled, sliding his hands into the pockets of Green's jacket, maybe this wouldn't be as bad as he thought.

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

First new fic I've written in a while, and I'm not exactly proud of it, but whatever.

If you liked this, feel free to scroll through my blog and read some of my other stuff!! There's, AUs, old fics, edits, prompts, and shitposts galore 💜💜

🖤Asks and replies are always welcomed!!🖤

[juniperandjustice]

TW

I’m in an abusive, controlling relationship, and that’s how it was with my parents, too, and my partner tells me what to do with all my time/energy and how to do it and criticizes how I do it, so this just felt like more of that.  And the accompanying psychic attack and possibly guilt trip.  It is somewhat less what it is about and more the way it was said.  It feels just like when my parents/partner have “asked” (told) me what to do or not do and how to do it and that I’m doing it wrong and there’s something wrong with me for wanting to do things my way.  If it felt like just a respectful request acknowledging and respecting my right to say no to it, I’d probably feel better about it.  

I needed my Tumblr blog to be my journal, my safe space, and it just hasn’t been allowed to be that by other users, and I feel like I’ve been getting “asked” (told) to tag/stop posting everything, including some really random things, and now I’m just waiting to be attacked and vilified for having negative feelings about that and talking about them, and it feels really ridiculous.  It’s making me consider making my Tumblr private or taking it down.  I’m already suicidal most of the time and in a ton of physical pain and very sick.  I thought this was a safe space for me to be myself and talk about my stuff and express myself and my personality and interests, but I don’t feel like it has been or will be.

I’m sorry if me feeling this way pisses someone off.  But really, I don’t have to obey you or the commands of Tumblr as a community.  You can unfollow me.  You can even badmouth and hate me and ask the rest of the community to.  Go ahead, I can’t care anymore, I’m at the end of my rope.  Also, not that anyone probably cares, but what you said triggered me big time, too.

It’s like with the rest of my life in general, I almost never get talked to, hardly anyone ever seems to care, until someone who otherwise ignores me “asks” me to stop being me in some way...  the only message I get is a negative one that slaps me in the face.

Context below, since I had removed it from my blog to not upset the anon (which still didn't work bc they took a totally unrelated post personally, and I'll paste their reaction to it, too, just to set the record straight in case they're vilifying me, as I blocked them bc seriously ill people like me can't have this stress and drama in our lives and I'm DONE with this issue).

I admit I was not in a good place to get an anon like this but it would've been not a big deal if it was a kind, gentle, simple request to try to tag nudity.

When you ask people, take into account that they might have triggers, too, and they absolutely don't have to do what you want. If you can't handle something as common as nudity in art, artistic photography, etc, maybe you shouldn't follow me. I don't mean to be mean, but I have to have boundaries, too. I have been other people's doormat far too long and lost my self and self worth from it.

The message below was on a post that was NOT about the anon. I wouldn't be surprised if the writer is going to share my name and accuse me of all kinds of things, but I'm not sharing their name. I'm sorry it went this way, it was not my intention. But I won't let myself get smeared for being *human* and having my own needs, triggers, and boundaries, either.

"I asked a question.  You responded in an unkind way.  I am not upset that you refuse to do that your about me promises you will do.  I am upset that I am being shamed and treated as if I did something wrong by asking a question."

Edit: this snowballed. My responses are in the notes. This is not okay. I am allowed to disagree with someone. Getting other people involved, attacking me personally and my relationship, and saying ableist and biphobic things is not appropriate and I will not tolerate it from anyone. Followers, you have been warned. Go ahead and unfollow me or block me, just leave me alone.

[myheartbeginstorace]

Dear Jen,

Hey, so, this is what I’ve felt, how I’m feeling, what I’ve done. 

First, I am sorry if you feel I’ve been talking poorly about you behind your back. I have talked about the situation to other people because I’ve tried to understand it. I tried to understand what I did/didn’t do that forced Joey to need space from me and I just don’t right now and am not sure when, if ever, I will. There are tons of reasons why I want to know, it’s not a black and white situation for me at all, and it never has been and never will be. I’m sorry you and I’s friendship was impacted by this, but let me just explain what and why I’ve done what I’ve done and how you play into the situation.

I was in a constant state of anxiety during Joey and I’s friendship in February that he thought I was still interested and it really, really damaged my understanding of myself. I am already hyper aware of my actions being taken as forward rather than friendly, it’s something that has haunted every male interaction of mine since I was raped. “I asked for it” and every single thing I do around guys that I don’t feel 100% aren’t interested, like my dad or gay men, makes me worry I’m asking for it. So then having Joey around who correctly in the past believed I was interested, but after him hurting me was very much so NOT interested in, believed, to my best understanding, that I was STILL asking for it (post December) greatly, greatly stressed me. In that regard, I was relieved to have had space from Joey because it let me feel confident about all of my actions rather than question whether ever single action or comment I made would be taken as flirtatious or more than friendly. 

When Joey called me and said he needed space I got no context. The only things I was told was that “right now I need space and distance from our friendship. I’m saying this for me and my mental health. I think there have been misperceptions, I don’t think we are normal friends and I don’t think that is possible for us.” I asked questions: Did I do something? Am I the reason it’s not possible? Are you mis-perceving me? Were you actually mad/upset all of the times I checked in to see if things were okay? I was greeted with no answers. I left that conversation feeling hurt, attacked, and villainized. I had been working for months to get to a working friendship place with Joey regardless of my discomfort; and suddenly was told all of my efforts had been fruitless and that I was an issue. I can’t even begin to explain how challenging it is to be told by someone you had considered a friend that you are “not possible” to be friends with. I was extremely hurt, especially given that I was likely not going to be around for the foreseeable future and already saw the finish line for most of the friendships around me. I was petrified my last month would be filled with split-up behind the back hang outs and the happy, dynamic and full group I had been interacting with would be fragmented. I felt gaslighted. Someone who had hurt me and I was working to forgive and find ground with completely unrooted my reality by telling me I was the one doing the hurting when I was just trying to figure out a new normal. 

So for the first 2 weeks I just tried to understand and see how people treated me. I was distressed that others, you and Patrick specifically, knew that this space was happening because it highlighted me as “the problem.” I was, and am, scared that because of all of this I have been labeled as problematic when I feel I have been working through an incredibly challenging and nuanced issue (i.e. having someone hurt me personally but being forced to continually see them professionally and maintain that working relationship) that I was never going to handle perfectly. I was going to mess up, I did mess up, and when that happened I knew it would fuel the “problematic” image I had been given. That feeling in an environment I cannot remove myself from, because it is my workplace, was horrible. The Boston office to me currently feels extremely hostile because I don’t know who this has been spread to. So this is where our relationship comes in. I had a strong feeling that you were avoiding and hiding things from me. I obviously don’t know if that’s true, but I felt that when I talked to you, Pat, and Ruth you left to go see Joey when you said you were seeing a high school friend because of the fact you ignored my texts. You ignored a lot of my messages and I was confused why you would do that if it wasn’t because you were hanging out with Joey. That made me very sad that Joey and I’s problem was creating distance between us and upset me. That was my baseline fear for when we were getting ready to go to Stowe and then you and Axel bailed on me for the car. It was another ouch, you doesn’t care about spending time with/hanging out with me, you didn’t even say sorry for leaving me alone on a 3 hour drive with someone I didn’t know well. 

This sets the scene for what I will refer to as my breaking point with the situation. I had been trying so, so hard to not take things personally. To believe that Joey hadn’t talked to you about whatever was going on, that he hadn’t consulted you before he told me we needed space and you had agreed, that you didn’t think I was exclusively the problem, that you believed I could be a good friend. All of those things haunted me, but I didn’t know if they were true and when Axel made the banks comment at dinner during ski weekend and you pulled out your phone to text Joey, I cracked. I asked Axel if he was upset too that we had been excluded from things and that the group was fragmenting. I asked if I was impossible to be friends with and if Joey had said anything to him. I said all of these fears that were haunting me and that if they were true that you either agreed with Joey that I was a problem or were placating him about it which also hurts because it implies you’re okay with that image of me. I cried my way through it and it was embarrassing and I removed myself from the situation and went to the bar to sober up alone and focus on something else (sports) to calm down because I knew that I had just fulfilled my worst nightmare of “being the problem.” The stress had officially beat me and I let myself drunkenly attempt to explain my complex fears and anxieties about you and I’s friendship that I had been feeling since the break began and I did a horrible job of it. It was inarticulate, insensitive, and poorly executed. All of which are 100% on me and I own up to. I said it to Axel because I wanted to know if I was crazy. I was being told my perceptions of reality were not the same as everyone else’s and I was seeking for a gut check that I was wrong. After that, I attempted to try and clear things up with you re our convo in the ski lodge though I don’t think I was clear enough, and sent a long ass apology text to Axel about if I made him feel uncomfortable and explained what I just said to you here, I needed someone else to help me ground my understanding of my reality in regards to this situation and what you thought. I was wrong in how I did it and I should have gone to you directly instead, but I was scared and wanted reassurance before I did so. 

So that takes us to now. I’ve completely pulled back from the whole situation. I’m treading thin ice at work because of this whole issue with Joey potentially on the desk of HR (I really don’t want to/can’t talk about it, but I was issued a courtesy warning bc of my personal relationship with the person that heard the issue existed and for the sake of my job urged that he and I settle things). My job is hands down no question absolutely critically the most important thing in my life and I will do anything to protect it, including making myself look like a fool so others think things have chilled off and even if it means I lose all my friendships bc I don’t hang out my last 3 weeks. I have been trying to make things chill with you, being breezy and friendly but not suffocating or inquisitive or trying to hang out because I don’t know the answers to those questions/fears stated above. Those answers matter to me in regards to our friendship, but the situation is dead to me because of my job. I just need/want everyone to be cool these last 3 weeks so I can move to California and my job can feel safe again. I’m not mad at you. I’m insecure and sad about the state of our relationship, and would love to work through and repair things, but I just can’t do anything to jeopardize my job any more than has already happened and since our issues are ingrained in Joey and I’s problem I haven’t felt safe saying anything. Since I got the warning I have been full protection mode, happy-go-lucky co-worker attitude on, supportive friend, nothing outside of that. I would love to have our personal friendship back, but because we’re co-workers I’m not sure how is best or if it’s best to revitalize that. 

I want this final piece to just be a reassurance to you. None of this is because I think anything is going on between you and Joey. I am jealous that you are able to do what I am “impossible” of doing by maintaining a platonic male/female friendship with someone I couldn’t do that with, but it doesn’t run deeper than that. My feelings have no impact on who you choose to be friends with or how you are friends with them. I’m sorry I haven’t been able to show that to you or if that has been unclear. I’m worried you secretly hate me because you’re friends with someone who hates me. That’s my stressor, not the fact that either of you have found someone to be close friends with. I only want the best for both of you, whatever that is. And if you do hate me and never want to talk or hang out again and I never get to learn why, so be it. I’m deeply saddened, but accept my uselessness to change anything.

[cutegirlmayra]

this prompt is VERY au but ive had this for a while , and ive always wanted to see u write it: okay so amy & sonic haven't seen each other for a while bc shes been away studying or something & when she comes back shes more mature & understands the concept of personal space xD and sonic gets a bit upset bc shes not paying him much attention like she used to or maybe he can get jelly of someone!! its okay if u dont want to but ur writing is soooo good i would just love to see it !! ur the best!

Actually, I wanted to do a fanfiction on this idea of Amy leaving for a ‘monastery retreat’ where they promise enlightenment. She leaves a letter and purposefully states she’s not saying where she’s going until she’s found ‘inner peace’ with herself. She goes on the journey that tests her, then gets a job when she realizes the retreat needs to be paid for. She works for some cruel tavern people and gets swindled/con’d. She stands up for herself and gets the money back (by/with some force, lol). She is selected by a teacher who is usually very picky about his students, an armadillo who is infamous for whacking his students with his long stick to train them.

After all this, he teaches her ‘self control’ and ‘balance in her chi’ or whatnot.

I’m starting this concept off after Sonic receives many letters/postcards with different buildings and locations from the mountain she’s at. He takes out the photos, and one by one, races off to each landmark till he finds the mountain and finds her.

Prompt:

Sonic sped forward till halting and slightly wagging from the left over momentum as he looked up at the monastery.

Moving his mouth to the corner of his muzzle, he then pulled out the last postcard Amy sent him, and held a finger up to his chin, tapping his pointer finger to see if it matched.

Yep, definitely.

He looked over, “And that must be the tavern that treated her so poorly.” he put the photo away, but never took his eyes off of it.

“Time to teach them some manners when it comes to rooming guests.” Sonic adjusted his gloves, and smirked, knowing he was gonna cause some mayhem before saying hello to Amy. (his form of justice, he really didn’t like how she described how they treated her.)

After being the most annoying and stuck-up snob the tavern had ever known, they tried to kick him out, even if he did have rings, he wasn’t going to pay them, and fought his way out scott-free.

He chuckled to himself, before looking up at the monastery again. “Check.” he seemed to mentally be checking something off a list, and then threw a ring back at a dog-pile of beaten up men, all having their eyes spin around in their dizziness.

Sonic raced up the monastery before leaning over a counter, smiling charmingly to the woman present.

“Hey.”

“Hello.” the woman gave him a cold look up, and continued to look at her scrolls.

“…Eh-heh.” Sonic smiled nervously, seeing she looked a bit stingy. He straightened himself out, “Is there an Amy Rose that goes here?”

Her face suddenly shifted, and she immediately threw up a cane, pointing it directly at him. “I HATE THAT GIRL. DO YOU KNOW HER!? ARE YOU HERE TO TAKE HER AWAY!?”

Sonic put his hands up, “Y…yes?” he raised an eyebrow, amazed someone could hate Amy… w-well, maybe not THAT amazed, but..

“Oh good~” she suddenly looked cheery and her age, putting her hands together and up by her cheek. “Right this way~” she swished her black cat tail and gestured for him to follow her.

She smirked as they walked into the inner arena, within the walls of the ancient ground.

Sonic peeked over, “Ah!” He was amazed to see two girls battling, one was..

“Amy!”

“Pfft. I’ll admit, she’s improved.” the girl rolled her eyes. Was that a hint of jealousy?

Amy rolled to dodge a girl holding a stick with two spiked knifes tied to the ends of it.

She got up quickly to duck from another swipe before the girl jabbed, and she had to lean away, holding her hammer with both hands.

“Woah!”

Her sensai watched safely away, placing a hand slowly on his staff. “…Focus… Right foot… now!” he muttered to himself, but Amy couldn’t hear him.

Amy leaped to the right side, as if dodging a hint that she was predicting. (He would have naturally hit her with his staff on her ankle if this was training so she’s used to expecting a staff hit xD)

She jumped from her hands and did a few back-flips, before positioning herself again and waiting…

Sonic was slightly confused. Amy’s one to charge in headstrong, but now she’s being..

patient?

She then saw the girl charging her, shouting out a battle cry, as Amy innocently looked up, and seemed calm before looking back down.

She jumped and did the splits, as the girl whammed her face into the wall behind her, and looped her hammer over a wall decoration.

She waited a second in the air for the girl to lean back, holding her face.

She then fell on the girl and whacked her out.

“Winner! The Reformed Rose!”

Amy got up and giggled, thinking the nickname funny since the first time she got here, and then looked up.

Her smile and waving completely halted, as her eyes fixated…

On her favorite shade of blue.

Her master looked confused, before following her eyesight with his own. He gasped, picking up his long stick. “Oh no.” he quickly rushed to where Sonic was.

Amy raced up with acrobatic skills to him.

While keeping her pace, her master kept looking over to her, worried. “Remember your training, remember your training!” he kept muttering, as finally they both made it up to the final wide ring of the arena, and Amy, in her monk attire, held the biggest open smile on her face, panting from her effort to get all the way up here after a battle like that.

Sonic stepped back, as the counter-girl just glared and ‘hmph’d, folding her eyes and giving Amy a snake-eye, then turning away.

“You’re so-called ‘boyfriend’ is here to take you away.” she left then, fanning her arrogant hand behind her.

Sonic hadn’t seen her in months, and this new look… she definitely had grown. Did he miss a birthday?

Her figure was more built, and her muscles, a bit a intimidating…

Amy was about to cry out his name, before her master whacked a stick to her head and she rubbed it hard, looking to him.

“Restrain yourself…” he eyed her cautiously, as if squinting a warning.

“This will be your final test of all your training. Fail it. And you will not be leaving this monastery.” he warned her, and slammed his staff’s end down, nodding his final statement.

“W-wai-wait a minute there…” Sonic held his hands out, as Amy’s whole body suddenly shifted to them, as if longing to be in them again…

“Uhh..” he held his hands back, seeing her reaction. He knew she’d have withdrawals… but not this bad. “I think we may have to change that ruling a bit.” Sonic scratched behind his head, then looked to Amy.

“Amy, Cream and the others have been worried sick about you.” he lightly spoke to her, arching his eyebrows back to show tenderness, and gesturing to try and entice her to come back. “We’ve all been wondering where you’ve been. Now that I’ve found ya, I plan on taking you back so they won’t have to miss you anymore.”

Amy was still fixated on the way he lovingly said her name, but then heard about her dear friends and looked shocked to hear that, before guilty and bending her ears down.

“Oh, S-”

“Ehem.”

Amy flinched, expecting a staff, but realized her master only gave her a light warning. She was forbidden to say his name…

“..My… friend.” she twitched an eye down, before taking a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. “I would love to go back. But I have to receive permission from my sensai.” she gestured lovingly to her master, who kept his eyes shut, but motioned his head up high, showing status.

“Your sensai?” Sonic narrowed his eyes to the old man, and folded his arms. “You mean this geezer with the long mustache and goatee?”

Like a statue, her master did nothing.

She freaked out though, bending her arms to guard herself but he did nothing to retaliate.

“You would do good in training somewhat in your mouths formation of words as well, boy.” He stuck a piece of his sticks cut off small branch into his ear, wiggling it around. “I could barely hear the insult you said.”

Sonic twitched an eyebrow, this man could dish one back just the same.

Sonic smiled though, liking the fight in him.

He was impressed and held out his hand. “Sonic. Sonic The Hedgehog.”

“I know who you are.” The man moved the hand to the side, before walking to the ring.

Sonic looked confused, before shrugging to Amy, who lightly nodded an apology before turning to her master.

“If you wish to truly see if you’ve mastered all I have to teach you… you must fight your love in the arena!” he spread his arms out, as the crowd suddenly hushed and the battle happening below stopped.

“W-what?!” Amy was shocked. “B-b-but Master!”

“Your speaking back!” He swung his stick into her gut, as she whinced a minute in pain before motioning her fingers around to harness any noise and keep it together.

“No, … M-master.”

“Hmph. Good.” He removed the stick and nodded.

“Amy!” Sonic’s hand went to her, but the master’s eyes shone with a spark and he hit them away from her.

“O-ow! Hey!” Sonic held his hands and glared at the old man. “You know, some could call this abuse!”

“Heh. He is your friend, isn’t he?” The man smiled, knowing she had said the same thing.

Amy got up, shaking a head to Sonic. “You can’t touch me. Cause I’m not allowed to touch you.”

Sonic’s head flung back to him. “W-what?” he blinked a moment, before trying to put to and to together. “Amy… you’re not.. a literal monk, are you?”

She flinched, “WHAT?! NO! I’m not a nun!”

“O-oh…phew~” He was glad he wasn’t THAT late…

“To the arena with you!” The master had skillfully maneuvered himself behind the two, and with one fell swoop of his staff, pushed the two off the ring as they fell towards the arena.

Amy used her hammer to help Sonic spin away, and then flipped and pushed off landings to roll down safely as well.

“Oh! Sonic are you al-!” She cupped her hands over her mouth, about to rush towards him before a staff thrust itself in front of her and stopped her progression.

She realized her mistake and bowed to it, before letting the access energy from Sonic’s presence being there out through training drills, punching around herself and shouting out battle cries before returning to inner peace…

“I am more than my affections… alright!” she prepared for battle. “If I can defeat you, S- I mean!” she shook her head. “My friend. Then I can go home with you!”

He was irritated that someone was forcing her to not even say his name. But then also pushing such limitations onto himself.

He cracked his knuckles, and started to stretch. “Very well, Amy. If I have to fight you, then I won’t go easy on ya.” He then smirked, getting ready. “But not being able to touch me won’t be very easy… I’m fast, you know.” he winked.

“Begin!”

He charged around her in a circle, and she closed her eyes to sense him, before swinging her hammer up to dodge a fast on-going, bullet frenzy of blue.

‘Heh, so she’s learned to listen and wait it out, huh?.’ Sonic looked amused, stopping then and then walking towards her.

“What else have you learned?”

She smiled, seeing he was having fun with this.

He jumped to fake a kick down, before swinging his other leg and hitting her to the side.

She caught herself quickly as he went for a punch, but was able to block and then slide her hammer under his ankle, pinning him and then looking apologetic.

“Sorry.” she squinted her eyes as she bonked him on the head.

“Ow! Ooohhh, almost missed that…” his eyes spun a moment, but he shook it out.

“Heh.” he reached up and grabbed her arms.

“Ah!”

Her master narrowed his eyes.

“Got’cha!” Sonic rolled back on his spine and kicked her over him, getting back up as the crowd cheered.

The sensation of Sonic holding her was a lot for Amy, even if it wasn’t a true ‘hold’ she still got up and tried to restrain herself.

“Okay… okay…” she took calming breathes and turned back around.

Sonic watched her struggle, and started getting upset.

What was wrong with Amy hugging him?

‘I’m more than my affections…’

She had said that, right?

He glared up at her master, who returned the look to him.

“What has he been teaching you…” Sonic lost trust then, even if the man had witty comebacks, if he had brainwashed his friend to believe that touching him or even saying his name was bad…

Unforgivable.

Amy, after seeing him not moving, decided to go for it.

She held her hammer high up by her shoulder, and leaped from one side ot the other, “Here I gooo!!!”

Sonic turned with a calm expression, looking seriously to her.

She suddenly saw him not move and halted her attack, stopping in front of him.

Her master rose his head, eyeing Sonic’s next move.

“S-So-I-I mean! Friend..?” she blinked her eyes, not sure what he was doing.

“Sonic.” He almost bit down on his teeth while saying it. “And I’m not playing this game anymore…”

He walked over to her, as she stepped back slightly, lowering her hammer.

“W-what are you-?”

He embraced her, and held her close.

The crowd gasped, as the master moved himself to the ring’s railing, and waited… patiently…

Amy’s whole being twitched.

She wanted to just smoother him with affection, kiss him over and over, and hold him tighter and tighter!

Her hands moved to hold him back, before stopping.

She had learned so much… about herself, love, and freedom… about inner peace and self-reliance.

She even learned that her own feelings could be managed, and that it’s better to discipline them than let them run amok.

She did touch him, but only to pull him away.

With a kind smile, she closed her eyes, and tilted her head. “I missed you too, Sonic. I’m glad I get to see you again.”

Her master jumped down as Sonic’s approving smile turned to a frown of protection, and he moved his hand over Amy and pulled her behind him.

“Amy’s coming with me!”

He walked forward, head down. “I know she is. Because she won.”

The two blinked for a moment.

“W-wha?” Sonic seemed more startled by that then Amy, as she moved passed his protective arm and over to her sensai, bowing low for him.

“Forgive me, Sensai.”

“No. You’ve done all I expected you to do.” he bowed to her, as the crowd gasped, and she leaned up, shocked.

“M-master!”

“You’ve conquered your emotions, tamed them, and held your being with dignity and every grace a woman can procure.” he leaned up, smiling kindly to her, showing he really did care for his pupil. “You’ve surprised me. Even with great temptation, you valued your new found strength and knowledge more than the cardinal demands of the body. You’ve mastered both body and spirit… and now, you’re heart.” he put his hands together, his staff resting on the crook of his arm, as if showing he wasn’t going to discipline her anymore.

“You may leave… with Sonic.” he nodded the permission of her to speak his name. “And even hug him if you’d like.”

Suddenly, Amy squee’d as all her energy burst from her, and she was about to tackle into Sonic. “SOONNICC-OOFFHP!”

His staff had masterfully slammed into her tailbone, as he glared a moment before pulling it back.

“Don’t let old habits own your new found success… Rose.”

“Y-..Yes, Sensai.” she realized he wasn’t going to let her slip on her training either.

The two left the wide, Asian gates as Amy left with her old red dress, but a sash around her waist with decorative beads hanging down one end of it, showing she was a master monk now. She giggled as it made her dress stick down, and then held Sonic’s arm.

“Shall we?”

Sonic smiled, before pulling her closer and seeming okay with the intimacy. He scratched his nose as some men from the tavern recognized him, and saw who he was with, and fled crying out for mercy.

Amy blinked her eyes in confusion, raising an eyebrow, before looking over to Sonic with suspicion.

He shrugged and chuckled nervously, before scooping her up and taking off.

“Ah! I missed this!” Amy cried out, as Sonic looked down, unamused.

“W-what?” she saw something was troubling him and wondered what on earth it could be. “too tight?” she loosened her hands from his neck, before completely moving them off. “S-sorry.” she looked away.

“…Not tight enough.” he motioned his head down, seeming upset.

Her smile grew wide, and she giggled as she put her arms back around him, and moved her head up. “Hehe, I think I like having you ask for it, now~” she cooed, winking to him as he rolled his eyes.

“I’ll admit. It’s nice to actually have you act grown up for once.”

“Why you-! Hmph!” she puffed up her cheek and looked away. “I don’t have to get angry at those foolish comments anymore.”

“Haha! I’m free! No more hammers!” he jumped and clicked his heels together.

“Oh, Sonic!”

“Say my name!”

“Sonic?”

“One more time!”

He giddily danced off as she laughed, chanting his name and clapping as he really did seem happy to have her back, new and improved, with some of her old habits still being wanted and liked, so it seemed~

“I appreciate the restraint. But you can still hug me.. j-just not randomly or in the middle of something… alright?”

“Now look whose making the rules…” Amy pouted.

“But no hard sticks included!”

They laughed.

(hope that’s what you wanted >w

[wordsformendes]

the space between us

requested: “can you do one where y/n is almost being raped, and then she keeps it as a secret and then shawn finds out because he noticed that she was scared when they were about to have sex and tries to make her feel better or something”

authors note: so i’m not going to write this exactly the way it was requested so i apologize, but i would feel more comfortable writing it the way i would like to. this is something i’ve considered writing before, because of something i’ve personally experienced. if you read my other imagines, i’ve wrote a little about it and this imagine might be similar but yeah. i was never raped, but i very well could’ve been. i dated this guy who used me, and he would often yell at me and get upset whenever i didn’t want to make out with him, or touch him or whatever. there were even several times, where he would push me against the wall and proceed to kiss my body, and touch me even after i said no several times. i was young and i had convinced myself i loved him. thankfully i was strong enough to yell at him loud enough so he stopped, and like i said i was never raped. but unfortunately i was blinded by love, and this toxic relationship i had went on for a year. that being said, i’m still to this day recovering from all that, and i haven’t dated or kissed anyone since simply bc im terrified that they’ll only want me for my body. this is a serious topic for me, and writing about it made me emotional lol. i hope you all enjoy this imagine and i hope you can understand the importance of like, personality in a relationship. physical attraction is great, but it’s not something that should take over the whole relationship. i hope this imagine doesn’t offend anyone in anyway and i’m sorry if it does. i have nothing against people who go out and have sex when they’re bored, or whatever. it’s just not who i am, and i personally think sex is a big deal. like i said before, i literally broke down when writing this and so i hope the emotions i put into this imagine can be felt, and i hope you guys can understand the feelings that i was trying to express in my writing

He was gentle. Soft, sweet, and loving. His touch burned your skin, and left marks within your heart. It was nothing like your last kiss, or the last time you held hands with someone. Shawn made you feel safe, yet there was still something so terrifying about him touching you.

Things were heated right now. He was placing rough kisses on your neck, as you sat in his lap and you could feel his hands move around your body. He started to lift up your shirt, and you almost let him do it, but you just couldn’t. You quickly removed his hand away from your waist and stood up walking across the room.

“I’m sorry Shawn.” Was all you could think to say. Shawn was nothing but kind to you since you started dating him, but what if there was a reason for that? What if he was only being nice just so he could mess with you and then leave? What if he was pretending to love you just so he could use you and then be done with you? Thoughts of your ex and your last situation came flooding into your mind, and you couldn’t help but let a few tears fall.

"Hey, it’s okay. What’s wrong, is everything alright?” Shawn quickly came running to where you were standing and he started to put his hands out like he was going to hug you. You looked at him, shook your head and walked away even further. Why did guys have to care so much about sex? Why was physical attraction so important? Why couldn’t someone comfort you with their words rather than their touch? Hugs were great, and you loved when Shawn held you tightly on a bad day, but sometimes you wished he would just stay on the other side of the room and talk. All you’ve ever wanted was a relationship where you could connect with someone spiritually, not so much physically.

"Was it something I did? I can’t help if you don’t tell me love.” Shawn suddenly backed away, realizing you didn’t want to be touched. You hadn’t told Shawn about your last relationship and how bad it was and how it pretty much scarred you for life, but you wanted to. You felt like now was probably when you would tell him considering how serious things were getting with you and Shawn lately. You had made out with Shawn plenty of times but having sex was a big deal to you. You weren’t the type of girl to just go out and find someone to fuck whenever you were lonely. You wanted any sex you had to be special, and you wanted to mean something to that person. You were tired of being looked at as a toy to be played with.

“I’m sorry, I just.. I just need a break from..” You didn’t know how to say that you needed a break from all the physical action between you and Shawn. You didn’t want him to think you were weird or something for not wanting to have sex. Although that’s probably what he was already thinking. Your stress about all of this was rising and you could feel more tears but you didn’t want to let them fall.

“Y/N, I don’t wanna pressure you into anything. We don’t have to continue, it’s okay.” Shawn sat on the bed and spoke with a calm tone.

“I really like you Shawn. I don’t wanna mess anything up between us, but I just.. I don’t know, I’m scared I guess. That sounds so stupid.” You said and tried laughing to make yourself look a little less vulnerable. You were terrified of admitting that you were terrified. You wanted so badly to forget about your past. You wanted to move forward with Shawn but each time you thought about a future with Shawn, your head would start to spin and you’d get nervous.

“It’s not stupid. I still love you either way, no matter what we do.” Shawn was looking at you with such love in his eyes, and you really felt in your heart that he cared about you. You just hoped that he would still care about you even after he knew about your past, and even after he knew that sex was such a sensitive subject to talk about, let alone actually participate in.

“Before we started dating, I dated this guy who.. He used me. I’m just gunna be honest with you right now.. I’ve been used multiple times, and apparently in this world we live in, objectifying women is normal, and things like using girls for sex is a common thing that a lot of guys do. I’m not saying you’re a douche like my ex, and I’m not saying that you’d use me, but Shawn.. I would be lying if I said I don’t worry about it. You remember how nervous I was when we first kissed right? Touching people isn’t my thing, and having sex is most definitely not my thing. Call me crazy, tell me I’m silly for not wanting sex, go ahead. What kind of girl doesn’t wanna have sex with Shawn Mendes right?” You were rambling now, and there were tears streaming down your cheeks. You voice cracked between words and you didn’t know how to explain yourself any better. It wasn’t easy being so straightforward with Shawn, and it wasn’t easy saying that you didn’t want to touch him. You felt crazy for that, and you felt like right then and there he was going to leave you. It hurt your heart to know that physical affection was such a big deal in today’s relationships. You understood that it was important, but would a guy really leave a girl because she’s scared of having sex? Are there any guys out there who would be patient with scared girls? You hoped Shawn was like that, but you didn’t know. You cried quietly and played with your fingers as you kept rambling about how you felt and Shawn was standing now, walking away from you, over to the balcony of the hotel bedroom.

You stopped your rambling to ask him what he was doing.

“I’m sorry Shawn, I get it okay? If you wanna leave then just do it now, get it over with. But please don’t ignore me.”

“Y/N.” Shawn was standing on the balcony and facing you.

“Can you feel this? The space between us. Can you see that?” Shawn used his hands to motion to this empty space that was between you and him as he stood on the completely opposite side of the room.

“Yeah.” You said not knowing where he was going with this.

“I don’t care about it. Well that’s a lie.. But I’m not going to let it hurt me. I could be, a thousand miles away from you, which I am most of the time, but I still love you. I’m so sorry you had to go through everything you went through with your ex. He’s an asshole. And I know it’s hard, and I don’t want you to think I’m doing this just to get in your pants, but I promise, I’ll do whatever it takes to make you see that I’m here to stay. I’m not gunna leave you because you don’t wanna have sex.” Shawn was raising his voice now, and the world could probably hear him. He wasn’t angry, but he was loud, and passionate and you could tell he meant everything he was saying.

“I’ll do whatever you want baby. I won’t kiss you for a month, I won’t hold your hand in public, or whenever we go on dates we can just talk, no more making out. It doesn’t matter, I just want you to see okay? And if you’re one of those girls that wants to wait until marriage to have sex, I’ll fucking wait. This space between us has nothing on me. I’m always gunna love you.” You were uncontrollably crying, and your heart was beating so loud that the whole world could probably hear it, along with Shawn’s words. You didn’t know what to say, and you didn’t know how to react. You just looked at Shawn for a minute, wiping away your tears and getting yourself together. The fact that he was willing to give up stupid things like kissing just to show you that he really loved you, and that he wasn’t just with you for your body, that made you feel worth something. For a long period of your life you felt like nothing, like nothing but an object in the corner that was picked up once in a while by guys that were bored. You went through a phase where you questioned your worth everyday and you felt empty. Like nothing. It took you years to find yourself again, and you never thought you would. Now, Shawn stands in front of you reminding you why you kept going. He’s reminding you why you decided to finally realize that you are worth something. You aren’t an object, and you are loved. You are loved for more than your body.

“I love you.” Was the only thing you could think to say as you stared at Shawn standing across from you. The space between you two had become more than space. It was hope, it was your worth and your confidence growing. It was pure love.

[thecarelessmint]

Dear Me,

Its been a while. It’s been a little over a year and things have changed, 

How am I? I’ve changed, I’m colder, I’m much more closed off, I cry a lot, I’m still hypersensitive but I don’t think that’s going anywhere.

I have some good news though, that horrible thing we went through, depersonalization, it’s gone. 

I wrote the first dear me in August before drama camp, which I was unfortunately depersonalized for, but coming September, it was gone. I don’t know if it was the familiar atmosphere of being back in school and being consistently surrounded my people and emotions, but it left.  

That following winter, S.A.D wasn’t all that bad either, it was definitely there but it wasn’t the worst it’s been. 

It’s easy to say that last July (2016), was the worst month of my life, I had never been so lost in my 15 years of living (at the time, and yes I’ve accepted my real age and since it’s just between me and you, I’m using it), it was also one of the most alone I had ever felt. 

Mental Health wise: I think I suffer from anxiety, I say suffer because truly I’m suffering. 

Recently, the family and myself went to Seattle and Phoenix. It was probably the most anxiety ridden I had ever been.

Everything made me angry, I snapped at every single minor inconvenience, and I just wanted to be left alone, I still do, I just want to be alone. 

Being with other people has caused me a lot of issues, I love being with people and conversing, but I’d rather just stay alone, it causes less to worry about, no more stress about being home on time, how I’m going to get home, remembering to have fun. 

I guess a lot of it has to do with how I was raised, going out was much harder than simply staying home, having to ask for permission to simply see my friends outside an adult controlled environment and knowing that I was going to be turned down the offer was given me too much anxiety over making plans that I usually just bail out on them.

This makes me feel extremely guilty because I genuinely like the people, but I JUST CAN’T LEAVE THE HOUSE. 

Going out itself is a hassle, the pressure to consistently be happy during the few hours you spend with another person in order to leave it a happy memory shouldn’t be as hard as it is. 

On a happier note, reading last year’s ‘Dear Me’, I can say the love for myself has only grown, I love me, so much! I love my quirks and the stupid things I do. I love how I completely bop out to a song and then realize how stupid I look but keep going. I love that I’m in love with myself. I raked myself through the mud with hate but here I am treating myself with gentle care. 

Removing myself from situations that make me upset, feeding myself regardless of how late it is because I’m hungry and who cares about weight. Wearing whatever I feel happy in, (like that pompom hair piece from F21) understanding that I am probably the weirdest person to have walked this Earth but also I’m cute as heck. I’m trying my /best/ to stay hydrated but I don’t even have a water bottle so ya girl is struggling. 

I’m slowly improving myself and paying more attention to how I react to things. I’ve become really picky with what I eat after I puked for 12 hours that one day in March, it was fucking shit, I deadass have a fear of puking now. It hurts.

I’m still hella into space and deep sea, I went to the aquarium in Phoenix and cried cause I love the sea. The entire family went, but as much as I was having fun, as soon as I found out that everyone else found it boring, the entire experience was ruined, I was more or less upset the rest of the day, do you see the problem? Stuff like this shouldn’t happen, it was an amazing experience but whenever I think back, all I can feel is this heavy weight because of how sad I felt that I was basically dragging them around but also because we left really early. Man, I really wanted to stay but it was 1 against so 5, so who was I to make them stay. 

Anime is still a huge part of my life, Naruto ended and I’m /hurt/. Yuri On Ice came out that November-December and honestly, what a life changing show, it was so gay, and canon. I miss, I can’t wait for season 2. I watched Kimi No Na Wa (a movie) and truly what a beautiful movie, that’s all I can say, visually it’s stunning. The characters are amazing but can I remember their names? Nope. 

Remember how we saw that ad for Goblin on Facebook and had it bookmarked for weeks but never watched it. WELL, LET ME TELL YOU (sit down this is going to take a while). So, because I watched anime and it was in another language, why couldn’t I give Kdramas a try, LITTLE DID I KNOW. I never ended up watching Goblin on my own. 

Months passed and it was around February when I started getting into Korean girl groups, that’s right, Kpop. Oh My Girl was too cute for me to ignore so I stanned them (YooA and Binnie, my kids), time passed and I couldn’t quite get into their music, so I just stopped. I stayed away from the boy groups because of the drama that came along with them (a misteak). 

Even more time passed, Patty recommended a Kdrama called Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo, LIFE CHANGING, REVOLUTIONARY, THE PUREST! I watched 11 hours worth of it in one day, sleep who? Needless to say I loved it, I loved every single character, Nam Joo Hyuk could kill me and I’d say thanks.

On April 15th, 2017, (that fateful day) I watched Unfair - EXO for the first time and my life was changed, Kim Jongdae stole my heart. This was bad though, it was towards the middle of the second semester, I didn’t have time for this, but did I care? No. Sleep became foreign to me, I needed to catch up on the 5 years I missed. I somehow graduated. 

My bias list is a mess, it ranges from Jongdae, Minseok, Kyungsoo, BBH, Junmeyon, Sehun, Jongin, Yixing and PCY, oh would you look at that, it’s the entire group, ha AHAHAHHAHAHAHAH, let me live. 

It only got worse from there, I watched hella Kdramas but did I ever finish them? No. Why? I truly don’t know. 

As soon as it gets angsty and yeet out so fast, I can’t handle angst, I don’t like sad things, my life’s already a mess, I came here for a good time. 

If you’re reading this a year later and still haven’t finished The Entertainer I will come to the future and fight you, fucking finish it, I understand you’ll cry, we’re the same person, but finish it! It deserves better than this, you’re deadass on the last episode you hoe, (love you). 

Also finish My Shy Boss, but I feel like you’ll have that one done, it’s harder to watch but it hurts less. It makes sense, I know what I mean.

Moving on, you see I was avoiding BTS like the plague, their fandom is terrifying and there was too much going on, I was safe and happy with EXO (featuring NCT127), I was proud of them for their Billboard Award, like yes you did that congrats, but that was all. 

Fast forward to me just chilling and deciding to finally give them a try, I turned to their MV’s, Spring Day was cute and I got it stuck in my head a lot, Fire was too much and I instantly closed the tab. I wanted to see my sister’s reaction to Fire and she liked them. I was confused, my sister hates KPOP (bc of me), so I delved in, did my research trying to find out who was who, this was where it started. 

I knew, I knew, I had no chance, it was over. My first bias was that bastard Jeon Jungkook, at this time, I always forgot Suga, Jimin and Rap Monster looked too similar to me (forgive me, I was young) V? Jhope? Jin? 

I got better with names, but EXO was still #1 for me, what changed all of this was RUN BTS. I was watching it the same time I was watching EXO - Showtime, but slowly stopped watching Showtime, to Y’know, ‘savour it’, (I wasn’t going to admit to myself that I liked another group more.

Run BTS helped with recognition and learning about their character, this is where it went wrong, these idiots are extremely lovable so I fell in head first. I quickly learned I was Min Yoongi and Park Jimin trash, only later did I find out their was a ship for them (we aren’t gonna talk about this, you already now). 

I could talk for days about Jimin, I remember I would cry every time I saw photos of him because HE WAS TOO MUCH FOR ME. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD I CRIED WHEN I LATER FOUND OUT THE SHIT THAT HE WENT THROUGH AND IS STILL GOING THROUGH ABOUT HIS WEIGHT AND HIS IMAGE, HE DESERVES SO MUCH FUCKING BETTER. 

AND FUCKING AGUST D OVER THERE, THAT CINNAMON ROLL’S STORY HURT ME, I haven’t listened to the mix tape yet (It’s a year old now) because I need to recover from simply knowing that he went through that. 

I am Bangtan SonyeonDONE WITH THIS GROUP. I have this odd love for them, and I couldn’t tell you why. If this is a phase, this is the best damn phase of my life, I was miserable in the One Direction fandom, everyone was fighting, but the KPOP fandom, still filled with fan wars, is too funny. The memes are why I stay, music? what music? 

(I hope you still listen to the evening acoustic playlist on Spotify, it got me through the States trip.))

I’m gonna continue talking about BTS because I just need to let all this out, I might not do a whole paragraph on each member but don’t fight me on this alright. 

Kim Namjoon,  the good lord, the savior, the leader of Bangtan, the one I want to meet most. I feel so many feelings for this man, I just want to go to a coffee shop and talk about life. I watch his vlives when looking for comfort because HE GETS IT! He thinks the things I thought only I did and never speak about because they’re ‘not normal’. I see him less as this celebrity and more as a friend, and I know how cringey and all that this is but listen, hear me out, I’ve only ever wanted to meet two celebrities in my life and they are Misha Collins and now Joon, and that’s on the sole fact that I feel I can talk to them, just talk.

This is not to say I wouldn’t want to meet the rest of Bangtan, I love them all, heck Jimin is my bias, but there’s something about Namjoon I can’t put my finger on. 

(Also this is hella long compared to last year’s and I’m not sorry, It’s been a whole year soooo.)

Moving on from Kpop, relationships in my life. 

Maria - we talk on snapchat, we met up at the Mac grad, its causal. 

Bruno - best friend, love of my life, my boyfriend, he doesn’t judge me and gives me my space, love this kid.

Patty - my kid! we talk everyday and we’re about to hit 100 on snapchat, planning a trip to Tokyo and Seoul. 

Tanika - madre, I love:), she’s leaving Edmonton in January though, and that’s honestly just hella sad

Erika - baby buhler who’s also my mom, the most accepting, i love her so much, i appreciate so much 

Danait - my kid pt.2, always listens to me rant about kpop, became a BTS fan 

Blake - i’m only adding him because he’s comfortable, a smiley baby 

Yadiel - A SMILEY BABY, i love him :(

Dead Relationships:

Talia - I’m burning this one to the ground, it was fucking ridiculous, her mom messaged me like ???, 10/10 glad I ended it. 

Lucas - can fucking suck my ass, I hate this kid so much, why did I let this drag on for so long 

That entire girl group - I don’t know man, it’s really weird but I can’t stay friends with them, Igtg 

Jordan - we stopped talking because I’m gr8 at talking 

That’s all for that.

I love myself, I love you, I love my friends, we’re starting uni !!

We got accepted into the UofA & Macewan, (going to macewan though)

I hope you survive! I honestly don’t know how you’re going to do this, but you got this !! I believe in you !

(Stand Talent, Stan Beyond The Scene (I still love EXO very much)) 

[obsydyan]

Chapter 9: Jealous

-help Jake with merch bc venue was bigger

-Jake and Dakota start becoming friends and super friendly

-Alan sees this and sees that Jake is flirting. At least from his perspective. Dakota doesnt think so and thinks that Jake is being a good friend

-Alan is jealous. Tells Dakota to be careful.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Since tonight was a sold out show and since this venue was particularly big, Shane and Selena thought that I should help Jake tonight with his merch table.

I helped Jake unload, bring in, and set up his merch area.  Jake gave me one of Issues’ t-shirts which was really nice of him.

“So, you’re Austin’s little sister, huh?” Jake asked while folding some t-shirts on the sides of the boxes.

“Yeah, I am.” I replied awkwardly.

“That’s cool. Austin’s a pretty cool guy, they all are. I never knew he had a sister though.”

“Yeah Austin is literally my favorite person in the whole world. He always has my back and the rest of the guys are like family to me!” I smiled at him, “Most people are surprised to find out that Austin and I are related.”

“I think it’s because we all know Austin’s situaton.”

“What do you mean?” I said cautiously.

“I mean with your guys’ mom and everything. I thought she died when he was pretty young? I’m sorry if I’m intruding or anything.” Jake said warmly to me.

“No, it’s okay. It’s a long and difficult story so I’ll give you the shortened version.” I said quietly. “Our mom died when Austin was 17 and I was 10 years old.  Once Austin graduated high school he was off doing music and I was still at home living with our dad, but Austin always stayed close with both of us. Even if he wasn’t always around. Most people that aren’t close with him don’t know about me. Austin likes to keep his personal life private.”

“Oh, okay.” I could tell Jake was still trying to swallow everything I had just told him. “Does that ever make you feel like you’re being kept secret?”

“If I’m honest, sometimes.  But I understand why Austin chooses not to talk about it.  He’s been through a lot.  We both have and he just wants to keep our family safe is all.” I said getting a little bit teary eyed.

“Hey, hey! It’s okay!” Jake said while engulfing me into a hug and rubbing my back. “You’re a pretty cool person Dakota!” he said while pulling away from the hug and looking me in the eyes, smiling.

I laughed, “I’m alright, I guess.”

“Nah, you’re pretty chill. I haven’t known you for long but you’re definitely someone I could get used to hanging out with.” Josh said while putting his arm around my shoulder.

“Aw thanks! Same goes for you.” I said while putting my arm behind his back.  It felt so good to be making friends.  I’ve only been on the road for a few days and I was already in love with the “touring life.”

Josh and I stayed in this position for awhile, discussing what was going to be happening tonight.

That’s when I heard someone behind us.

“Ahem…”

I left Jake’s arm and turned around to see Alan standing in front of our table.

“Oh sorry, did I interrupt you two?” Alan said. I could tell that he was a little bit upset and instantly felt bad because I’m sure that Alan seeing Jake hanging all over me was the reason why.

“Hey, Alan!” I said trying to keep my chill, “No you didn’t at all.  We were just discussing tonight.”

“I see.” Alan said bluntly.

Jake looked at me weird.  I could tell he was picking up on Alan’s mood as well.

“Okay…Alan, can I talk to you over here for a moment?” I asked while pointing over to a hallway that lead to the bathrooms.

Alan nodded.

“I’ll be right back Jake.” I said smiling over at him

“No problem, I’ll be right here.” Jake replied while patting my back.

Alan glared at him.

“Common, over here” I said taking Alan by his wrist and leading him into the hallway. “What’s wrong?” I said worried.  I already knew the answer to this though.

“I saw how you and that Jake guy were interacting.” Alan said throwing his hands up into the air.

“What do you mean?”

“Oh come on you were all over eachother.” It was clear at this point that Alan was jealous.

“No we were just being friendly towards eachother.” I said in defense. “We had a long talk and have become close today. He’s a super chill person.”

“Yeah, a super chill person that is obviously into you!”

“No he’s not!”

“Remember yesterday? He’s totally into you Dakota, I can tell.”

“Oh yeah? How!?”

“Because I’m a guy and I know how guys act when they like a girl.”

“Well I don’t think he is and even if he was it wouldn’t matter because I’m into YOU!” I said poking Alan’s chest.

“Oh, yeah?” Alan said.

“Yeah. I’m honestly crazy about you.” I said putting my arms on his shoulder.

“Well good, because I’m crazy about you too!” Alan said while putting his hands on my hips and closing the space between us with a kiss.

We started making out like crazy. Alan backed us into the women’s bathroom that was behind us, not taking a break from our kissing.  He lifted me up onto the counter in the bathroom and continued to make out with me. Alan went from my lips, to my cheek, to my neck and started sucking on it.

I knew that this would leave a mark but at this moment I didn’t care.

While Alan was sucking on my neck he squeezed my ass with both hands.  He left one hand on my ass and then continued to move his other hand in-between my legs and started rubbing the area.  I let out a soft moan.

“Shh.” Alan said while taking a break from my neck, “You need to be quiet, these bathrooms echo.”

“Sorry!” I said letting out a little giggle.

Alan went back to kissing me and removed his hand from in between my legs and up under my shirt and grabbing my boob.

That’s when we heard a knock on the door. I jolted my head up, “Yeah?” I said trying to act as normal as possible.

“Oh, hey Dakota. I just wanted to tell you that they are starting to let people in now. Take your time.”

“Okay thanks! I’ll be out in a minute!” I replied.

“Okay, sounds good!”

“So I guess we’ll need to pick this up later then, huh?” Alan asked.

“Yeah, I guess so.” I said not entirely sure if I was ready for this next step.

Alan backed up and helped me off of the counter.  I turned around and faced the mirror to make sure that I looked presentable.

I turned back around and faced Alan. “So I guess I should leave first then.  Give me a five minute head start.”

“Okay sounds good babe.” Did he just call me babe?

Alan reached down his head and gave me a sweet kiss.

I kissed him back before unlocking and opening the bathroom door.  I turned around to smile at him before closing it behind me and walking back over to the table.

“Hey sorry about that! I had to talk with Alan about some merch stuff and then I had to go to the bathroom.”

“No worries! I didn’t mean to interrupt you, I just wanted to let you know that they were going to be letting people in.”

“Don’t worry about it, I appreciated it!” I said smiling at Jake. He returned the smile towards me.

The security opened up the venue doors and started to let everybody in.

“You ready?”