#but what is the work. what can i do. im lost without answers

[sparrowposting]

You ever just have a week where you're made, once again, painfully aware of how much suffering there is and how little you can do to fix it???

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[coolyiooo]

What BSD Men Do When Your Desperate For Them

Pairings: Dazai, Ranpo, Fyodor, Atsushi, and Chuuya

❗Warnings❗: SMUT, MDNI, breeding kink, begging, cock warming, public, overstimulation, whimpering, moaning, groaning, quivering, trembling, rounds, masturbating, dirty talk, squirting, praise, degrading, etc

🖤DAZAI🖤

Ever since you came to work, you have been so horny for Dazai. You thought you could wait until after work, but it seemed impossible. Without thinking much about it, you went towards Dazai and dragged him out of his chair, making him and everybody else startled. 

He asked you what was wrong but didn't answer and pulled him into the bathroom, basically tossing him on top of the toilet seat, which made him grunt. You straddled his lap and roughly kissed him, hearing a muffled yelp coming from him that turned into quiet groans. Your arms were wrapped around his neck, and your hand pulled him deeper into your lips, clenching his hair.

His hands caressed your ass and thighs, which soon slid up and down your back, trying to feel more of your body.You were both moaning silently in the heated make out until you pulled away "I need you so much, Osamu. I can't hold myself back. please fuck me" you said while grinding your hips against his

He instantly picked you up and slammed your back against the wall, kissing your lips in a needy matter and moaning into it. You grabbed his hand and slid it under your underwear, Dazai understood what you were saying and started to rub your clit.

You pulled away from the kiss to moan "Mmn~ Osamu~ I need you inside~"

You slid your hand into his pants and stroked making him moan "Oh, Belladonna~ I didn't know you could ever be so desperate for my cock~" he slightly smirks

He takes off your pants and lowers his to reveal his hard dick "I love this side of you, Bella~ look how hard you made me"

He aligned the tip to your drenching cunt making you sigh deeply in satisfaction. He started to tease you by sliding the head of his cock against your folds, making you whine that he hasn't pushed himself inside yet

He chuckles quietly "I would love it if you beg a little more for me, bella~ tell me how much you want me to fuck you"

Usually you'd probably give him a 'are you fucking kidding me?' look, but all you were focused on was getting his dick inside you and you already lost all dignity

You pulled him closer to you as you kissed his bandaged neck and chest "please Osamu, fuck me hard. I need you so much it's all I can think about right now. please make me cum" you pleaded against his skin

He immediately plunged his cock inside you. Both of you almost cumming from the amazing pleasure and moaning loudly. You felt the other twitch aggressively. Dazai didn't waste any time to fuck you at a fast pace. You already felt like you were at your limit.

You gripped harshly on his shoulders while moaning loudly "O-Osamu! I-im g-gonna~!"

Right as you finished the sentence you came on his cock, squeezing him more tightly and screamed a moan from the euphoric release you've been waiting for.

God you turned him on so much. The way you looked right now made him throb aggressively inside you. He whimpered as he also felt his limit.

He still fucked you even after you came "NGH~! you came on my cock immediately? so naughty Ah~! Oh Bella~ f-fuck your squeezing me so tightly~ I'm going to cum~!"

"I-inside~! Ah~! Inside 'Samu~ please~!"

With your begging, he shot his cum inside you, making you cum again and squirt on him. You both moaned and whimpered loudly, digging your nails into eachother from the intensity. You were both in pure bliss.

Your vision went blurry and legs were numb while his legs trembled almost like he's about to drop to his knees.You both breathed heavily trying to calm down.

While panting you said "that's felt amazing" You laid your head against the wall with your eyes closed that soon shot wide open when Dazai rammed his cock into you at a quick pace, already hard for you again. You gasped a moan

"Ah~ Look at what you've done to me, y/n~ agh~ you feel so good I can't stop mnn~! I know you want more so let's keep going~!"

💚RANPO💚

While working at the ADA. You got extremely horny and you didn't know what to do until you remembered you have a cute bf. You looked at Ranpo and saw him eating snacks

You just stared at the man until he noticed you staring. When he finally noticed your stare he immediately knew what you wanted, but he just kept staring at you.

You were getting slightly frustrated that he didn't say or do anything until he slowly started to smirk and got back to eating his snacks

You looked at him in disbelief and realized he's just fucking toying with you, so you thought 'you know what? Fuck him' and left your seat to go to the restroom to solve your own problem, kind of stomping your way out.

His eyes followed you and he knew what you were going to do

When you got inside one of the stalls and sat down, you slid your hand down your pants to and rubbed your clit. You'd never self pleasure yourself at a public restroom, but you've also never been this horny and didn't care, only thinking about having an orgasm.

You felt how wet you already were and let out soft moans from the awaited pleasure you've been craving. After awhile you heard the door slam open, making you jump."You certainly didn't waste any time"

you noticed the voice and saw Ranpo's shoes under the door "Open the door, sugar" you could sense him smirking

You didn't move" I thought you cared about your snacks more" you said with attitude

Suddenly you saw Ranpo crawl under the door, startling you again while blushing "Jesus! Couldn't wait a minute?" You raised your voice

"Oh, so you don't want my cock? I'm pretty sure your fingers can't compare to me. It's written all over your face" he smiles

You looked away knowing he was right. He put a hand on the wall that was behind you and leaned towards your ear "tell me you want me, sugar~"

He placed a hand on the hand that you used to masturbate, then slowly slid his hand under your pants, grazing over your clit.

You whimpered quietly "it's not that hard, sugar~ just tell me how much you want me" he smirks widely

You gulped "I need you so much Ranpo. Please fuck me. I want you inside me and to make me cum please" you begged while blushing

He then pulls you up to your feet and pushed your back against the door, lifting one of your legs to put around his waist. He kissed your lips while he unzipped his pants, kindly kneeing your cunt. You then started to pull down your own pants.

He slides your underwear to the side and placed the head of his cock at your entrance, feeling how dripping wet you were "someone was desperate" he said in a low voice before he slammed his cock inside you.

You moaned loudly and immediately came on his cock, clenching tightly on his hair and shoulder. He whimpered from how good your pussy twitched against him and how tight you were.

He gave you a couple seconds to calm down, then started to fuck your cunt, making you moan and whimper "R-Ranpo! So good~ ah~! your doing so fucking good~! Mmn~ don't stop!"

You felt him throb inside you from the praise. He whimpered and panted "Y-your squeezing me so much~ i- I'm going to- mmn~"

He wasn't expecting to feel his release so soon, but the more you praised and clenched him, he couldn't hold back. He thrusts suddenly became sloppy and fast until he came inside you with a loud whimper.

His body trembled and basically let himself fall into your arms. Your arms were holding him up as you started to feel his cum drip out of you. He was panting heavily .

Out of no where, you pushed him on the seat and got on his lap, lowering your hips onto his cock. Ranpo laid his head all the way back as he moaned. You begin to jump on his cock that was becoming hard again.

"Ah~! So good~ I need more of you, Ranpo ngh~ please lets do it again~"

He whimpered loudly from your words as he held onto your hips tightly to help you move faster. His cock hit deeper inside you and your cunt soaked his cock from your cum and his. You both moaned from the amazing pleasure.

"Mhmm~! More, sugar~ don't stop~ mmn~ I need more of you too~!"

💜FYODOR💜

Your boyfriend has been working a lot lately and hasn't had enough time to have sex with you. So naturally over time you got more horny and couldn't even self pleasure yourself because he forbid anybody or anything else to make you cum besides him.

You were extremely pent up and decided to just interrupt him while he was on his five monitors. You wrapped your arms around him and whispered in his ear "Fedya, Im so horny"

He stopped typing and took a minute to process what you just said. He then turned his head towards you with no expression "Darling, not right now. I'm fairly busy-"

You interrupted his sentence and grabbed his cheeks to make him look directly into your eyes to show him your serious "No Fedya, I N e e d Y o u inside me right now" you basically ordered

His eyes widen slightly for a split second then he smirks while tilting his head "You need me that much, myshka~?"

You blush "Y-yes, It hurts Fedya, Please"

He thought about your request for a couple seconds before responding "Come" he said while patting his lap for you to sit on

You began to straddle him and looked into his eyes. He grabbed your chin and pulled you into a kiss, making you sigh from satisfaction. He grabbed your ass and forced them to move against his hips. You started to moan as he started to get hard

When he was ready, he told you to remove your pants, which you complied, as he zipped down his pants to free his cock. You got back on his lap and kiss his lips again.he lifted your body to align his cock against your entrance and eventually sank your hips down on his dick.

You moaned loudly, the pleasure was already amazing. You were about to jump on his cock when he suddenly held your hips down "Don't move, love" he said calmly

That's when you realized he was planning for you to only cock warm him. You whined "Fedya, please"

"You said you just needed me inside you, correct?" You saw him smirk widely

"But, Fedya-" He put a finger up to your lips to silence you

"Be patient until I'm done with work"He then began to work and act like he wasn't even inside you.

You were dazed but decided to just wait and see what happens, but every once in awhile you felt him throb inside you which felt amazing, considering how sensitive your cunt was just by being pent up. The more you thought about it the more your cunt squeezed and twitched against his cock which only made him throb more. The sensation was becoming too much for you and you felt electricity flow throughout your body.

You suddenly squeezed his shoulders and came on his cock while whimpering loudly. His cock felt how wet and tight you got from your orgasm and you felt his cock twitch more aggressively. He sighed deeply, trying to fight off the urge to fuck the shit out of you, but he composed himself

"Myshka..Did you cum without my permission?" He said with dark eyes

You hugged him tighter "I need you so much, Fyodor please! Please cum inside. please make me cum. I'm sorry that I came without your permission, but please fuck me"

He didn't do or say anything for a long time which made you nervous. You were about to say something until he started to force your hips to ride his cock

You moaned loudly from the pleasure of overstimulation "Y-yes oh my God yes~"

"Mmn~ so wet and needy~ hah~ clenching down on me~ your such a filthy little thing for me, myshka~" he smiles at you

"Y-yeah~ ah~! your the only one who makes me like this~"

"Ngh~ I've told you to never disturb me while I work and you've cum without my approval. You know what I have to do, myshka~" he suddenly pulls himself out of you

You whimpered "Please punish me later, my love "

He smirks at you "Let's play a game. You have one minute to satisfy me. If you win, I'll drop my work and comply with your needs, and if I win, you'll have to wait until tonight or longer."

Before you could process his condition, he spoke again "Your time begins now"

You Immediately started to jump on his cock roughly. The chair you were both sitting on kept rattling from the motion. You moaned his name and showered him with praises loudly to hopefully send him over the edge "Your so deep Fyodor~ mmn~! your the best man I've ever been with~ ah~! no one has made me feel this good~!"

He felt a heavy wave of pleasure go throughout his body "Ngh~ Myshka~"

He closed his eyes to focus on how amazing you felt. To tell you the truth, he was pretty pent up as well. He let out small groans to try and hold himself back from being loud. His cock twitched more and got bigger. It felt amazing and you felt your release coming "I'm going to- Can I cum? Please Fedya~" you moaned

He responded to you by forcing your hips to move faster on his dick. He gasps as he also found his release and you whimpered loudly. You both came at the same time, twitching and breathing heavily. His hot cum coated your walls. It's what you've been waiting to feel for so long.

He put his hand on your cheek to make you look at him. You looked so cute when you were a mess. He panted while smiling at you. "Seems like you've won, moya lyubov. Let's move this to the bedroom shall we? You've gotten me all excited now so take responsibility"

💙ATSUSHI💙

You started off the day very horny for no reason. When you go to work it was hard to keep your mind focused since all you could think about was your bf being inside of you, but you didn't want to bother him, even the sight of him was too much for you. So you decided to go lay on the of the couches to keep your head out of the clouds.

You were reading a book. You were still pretty horny and it only got worse when all of a sudden Atsushi decided to be with you. "Hey, y/n!" he kissed you forehead with a warm smile

You felt your body jolt as arousal flowed through your inner thighs. Your eyes widen slightly with blushed cheeks."How are you feeling, y/n? You've been kind of distant today. Are you sick?"

He put a hand on your forehead to check your temperature, but you grabbed his hand and without thinking, slid it under your underwear and placed it on your clit, making you moan quietly.

His face turned completely red "y-y/n-!" You covered his mouth with your hand "I need you Atsushi. Please, I can't handle it anymore. I want you inside me right now" you begged with pleading eyes

He seemed too stunned to speak. You decided to not wait for an answer and just drag him into a storage room. You began to kiss him roughly while palming his clothed dick, earning a muffled moan from him.

He pulled away "wait, y/n, what if someone finds us?"

You began to kissed his neck "so what if they do? Your all I can think about right now" you pulled away and looked him in the eyes "so please fuck me"

He looked at you with a bit of a worried expression, but after some thinking, he gently kissed your lips again. His hands were on your hips as he slowly pushed your back up against the wall. Your hands were busy taking off your own pants that soon unbuckled Atsushi's belt. After his belt was off, he unzipped his pants to free his hard cock.

All of a sudden he picks you up. Your back still against the wall and your legs wrapped around his hips while his hands were busy carrying your body. He placed the head of his cock on your entrance and then rammed it all inside you. You both whimpered loudly from the impact "y-y/n~ your so tight~ mmn~ it almost hurts~"

"Please, Atsushi fuck me hard. It already feels so good~" you pleaded

With those words, he pounded into you aggressively and fast. His cock hitting your womb and fueling you with pleasure. You kept moaning his name as he kept whimpering. The way his cock slid in and out of you, hit your g-spot, and how he whimpered made you find your climax quickly

"Atsushi~! Ah~! Don't stop- mmn~! I'm going to cum~!" You moaned before aggressively cumming on his cock

Your cunt squeezed him tighter and twitched. It felt like a vibrator and he too found his climax. You both moaned loudly. His cum filled you up and it only made you want more of it. He was breathing heavily from his release.

He then gasps when he felt your hips move against his sensitive cock. "Don't stop, Atsushi~ you feel too good~ I need more of you"

It was like his body had a mind of its own and decided to fuck your brains out again. You both moaned from overstimulation kicking in "y/n~ you feel amazing~ ngh~! How can I stop when you beg for me like that~?"

Your mind was clouded with arousal that it only made you think of the pleasure and you squirted on him "y-yes~! Atsushi~" you moaned loudly

He didn't stop though, he only whimpered louder "can't stop now, y/n~ ah~! sorry, it feels too good~ mmn~! let's stop until we can't cum anymore, okay?"

🧡CHUUYA🧡

The whole day you've been thinking about getting fucked by Chuuya, but unfortunately he was out doing some typical mafia executive business. You couldn't wait all day and decided to go help him out on his mission, with Mori's permission ofc.

You eventually found Chuuya. He was in this small house and in a fight with three men. You knew he could deal with it himself, but he was toying with the men and taking his sweet time. You couldn't sit and wait for him to be done playing with these men and suddenly swooped in and shot the men dead in two seconds.

It startled Chuuya immensely, but when he saw you, he was honestly a bit more relieved "d-doll? What are you doing here? And I could've handled them myself"

"You were taking too long" you responded while walking towards him and putting your gun away

He scoffs "You still didn't answer my question, doll. Why are you here?" He reached his hand out to put it on your cheek, but before he could even touch you, you pulled him into an aggressive kiss startling him again.

You pulled away and looked into his eyes "I need you so bad, Chuuya. I need you to fuck me hard please. I want you inside me"

He blushed with wide eyes "Wha- right now?" He asked in disbelief

"No, Chuuya, tomorrow" you responded sarcastically

You grabbed his hand and dragged him into a bedroom that was part of the small house y'all were in. You pushed him on the bed and got on top of him kissing his neck "I need you, Chuuya. I can't think of anything else but you, please" you pleaded while grinding your hips against his clothed cock.

He groaned lowly "b-babe, you sure you didn't hit your head or something?"

"No, you just can't make me think straight" you responded while kissing his skin

He blushed "you need me that much?" He asked, almost like he was talking to himself

He didn't wait for you to respond and flip you over on your back and began to kiss your neck "well if you need me so badly how could I resist? Your so sexy when you beg for my cock, doll~" he smirks

He then pulls your pants off roughly and lowers his own to free his hard dick "you see what you've done to me?" He pulls your hips towards his "this belongs here" he said before he plunged his cock inside you and immediately hit your g-spot

You came instantly on his dick from the euphoric sensation that you've been so desperate for. You arched your back and moaned loudly. Chuuya's eyes widen "already? You really were desperate for me, huh, doll? G-god your clamping down on me~"

He starts to pound into your cunt. Both you moaned from the sweet feeling. He throbbed inside you and your quivering cunt sent shivers down his spine.

"So good~ mmn~ Chuuya, it feels so good~ agh~! I want your cum so bad~ " you moaned while scratching his clothed back

Your words turned him on so much "you want my cum?" He asked tauntingly

"Uh-huh~ mmn~! I need it~!" He moaned from your words and went at a faster pace.

You moaned more praises which only fueled his arousal. Your cunt rubbed his cock too good that he already found his limit. With one last thrust, he shot his cum inside you, grunting loudly. You came again when you felt his cum, whimpering.

He was panting and trembling slightly. He looked at you and your eyes were slightly closed and your chest was going up and down from breathing. Your hand moved to his soft cock and stroked him softly, making him jolt and gasp.

"I want more, Chuuya" you whined with pleading eyes

You felt him becoming hard again. He looked into your eyes "How could I say no to you when your begging me like that~? I'll fill you up as much as you'd like"

[glitterjay]

FAKE DATING | 박성훈.PSH

summary: when two friends find themselves in need of a convenient arrangement, they make a plan to fake a relationship. what starts as a simple facade quickly spirals into a web of emotions. lines blur between what's real and what's pretend.

genre: fake dating, smau (with narrations), crack with fluff (kind of), hoon and reader are in their mid 20s

warnings: may contain smut, cussing, more to be added

in case of wanting to be part of taglist, please send an ask with what fic you would like to get @ for as I will make one list for each one. series masterlist

prev | next

taglist (open): @drunkhee @minniejenseo @pkjay @sunghoonsgf @riizenextdoor @m1sskz @yorukoshii @heelee-01

you were deep in thought the whole ride to gunghoon's apartment. your parents kept trying to set you up with men from your father's work, who were incredibly old, and it was starting to bother you. giving in to the thought that gunghoon's mom was pestering him about his lack of a girlfriend, it made you think of something.

you shoot him a quick text saying you were almost there so that he could wait for you by the door. you had known sunghoon for quite a long time, but you were still quite shy to enter his apartment without him greeting you at the door.

he waved at you from where he was standing as soon as your cat entered his field of vision. it was quite a pretty and welcoming neighborhood; it never failed to put your mind at ease.

-

sunghoon had ordered takeout before you got there, which arrived with perfect timing just a few minutes after you did. after playing and eating for a while, you both settled down to have a can of beer on his front porch, admiring the beautiful sunset decorating the sky.

"must be tough, huh?" he asked, looking at the way the cars passed in front of his apartment. you simply gave a nod as an answer, knowing he could see it from his peripheral vision.

"i don't want to lose my life being attached to someone who would most likely ask me to grow up."

it was his turn to nod in response. you left the can that was in your hands on the floor, fidgeting with your fingers. sunghoon, on the other hand, seemed to be lost in the colors of the sky.

"do you mind if i ask you something?"

it caught you off guard to hear him speak first. you were trying to find the right words to let him know of what you had thought about on your way here.

"not at all, go for it?"

"what if we started dating?"

-

you sat there in disbelief for a minute. sunghoon had taken a long sip of the beer he was holding, then looked back up at the sky.

"i mean, you don't want to date the men your parents are setting you up with, and i want my mother to stop pestering me. so, why don't we just fake date? it's convenient for both of us."

he was right. announcing a relationship would not only stop his mom from bothering him with those comments but could also make your parents give up on the idea of you dating older men for money.

"it's crazy what I'm about to say," you started. he snickered. "but I was thinking the exact same thing when I was driving up here."

"then i think that settles it."

first update, aaahh. im really excited about these fics and how they turn out. if they get attention, i might start making longer stories more often rather than just simple drabbles. but we'll have to wait, i suppose. please do leave an ask, comment, or reblog with your opinion on the update! I promise things get better. this is just the start, hehe.

[welldrawnfish]

How do I know if I'm plural?

I recently started talking to myself as like, a way to reassure and encourage myself and stuff. Saying stuff like "you're fine, you didn't do anything wrong" or "Do you want to do X, Y, Z... Z? Alright, let's do Z then." And now I'm not sure if it's just a good coping strategy for me or if I might be plural?

Like I'm not sure sometimes if the person doing the reassuring and the person being reassured are the same person, y'know? And sometimes it feels almost like a kind of dialogue, but other times it just feels like I'm speaking into a void? Are we median? Am I only one gal? Dunno!

And idk what if I'm just trying to like. Appropriate plurality because I think it's neat or something. I know and see a lot of systems and genuinely do think plurality is rly cool so what if I'm just trying to be plural on some level. It always feels kinda deliberate when I talk to myself

Needless to say I am very lost and thinking about it is making my head hurt and my chest tighten. Sorry if this is a bit of a long ask you don't have to respond I'm just trying to find answers however I can

I'm a bit under the weather rn im sorry if this is loopy so I want to make a comic on this eventually, Im just no good at general infographics Plurality is vast, complex, and varied. So its hard to say yes or no based on this But heres the three rules I'll follow looking for plurality without typical DID/OSDD redflags 1. If you have opposing thoughts or morals appear in your thinking process, particularly after a stressful event. 2. If you have names, images, or other things associated with these reassuring voice 3. If people say you have different "modes" or literally say you act like a differnet person sometimes and its confusing. 4. If these voices in your head arent... yours. Its hard to explain, but I feel like those with plurality could explain. --- Ultimately if you want to find out if your plural, 1st.

Be ready if you are scared, might freakout, or are actively angry or upset at these thoughts, understand that if an alter can emerge, they wont if they are under threat. You have to be kind, ready to accept them, and most importantly ready to apologize the them if you were toxic before. They can tell if you are sincere. 2nd.

Look yourself in the mirror, ask to meet anybody in there, tell them Thank you for existing.

3rd.

Imagine yourself a headspace if you don't have one. This is an imaginary world that can be anything you want from vast universes to an empty void. But create a place to meet.

Meditate, create a place to see them, to meet them, to speak with them. Be patient, focus on breathing, focus on visualizing the space. Try to exist solely within that space. Invite them there, they might show 4. Be Ready. Plurality cannot be unseen once you see it, your life will never be the same. And ultimately it could be the best thing ever, but it can be incredibly hard, rocky, and bring up alot of trauma in your life. Be sure you want to explore this and are in a point of your life you are able to handle it.

-- If theres any advice from more educated systems let me know, im not the most educated here, these are just whats worked for me.

[st6rrrs]

DONT BE LATE | PROFESSER TOM RIDDLE

please enjoy!! do not copy, steal, or use any of my work :))

SUMMARY: y/n is failing professor riddles class so she goes to "speak" with him after class

WARNINGS: SMUT, dub con, Sub!Reader, Dom!tom, Manipulation, Begging, Spitting, choking, fingering, virgin reader, age gap

MINORS DNI!!!

CHARACTERS: Slytherin reader x professer riddle

A/n: this might be confusing but bare with it, reader is 16!!!

you had recently been failing professor riddles class so he had asked you to stay behind so you guys could have a little "chat" about extra credit and other things... as he described it. you were currently on the way to his classroom, it was 8:30 at night, he said this was the only time he wasn't busy.

you were still in your school uniform cause you didn't have time to change out of them you knocked on his classroom door, it immediately opened like he was waiting there for you. "your 30 minutes late y/n." he said looking at you in the eyes which instantly makes you nervous each time "i-im sorry professer, i-i lost track of time" you said while stuttering

he smirks and move to the side so you can enter the room.

it was weird being in the classroom at night, it was quiet and empty "take a sit ms. L/n" he says while taking a sit at his desk. you do the same but on the other side of the desk

"as you know you are failing this class y/n" "im very disappointed in you"

you look down

he then gets up and walks over to the other side of the desk your sitting on hovering over you.

"i-im sorry i-i just b-been" he stopped you before you could finish your sentence by putting his finger to your lips shushing you. you looked up at him confused

"i dont care for your excuses y/n. now get up" he demanded

you looked up at him confused but did it anyway

"now bend over the desk for me"

you looked at him in horror. you were his student and he was your professor

many of the girls in Hogwarts had a crush on professor riddle, i mean come on he was in his mid 20s, handsome, and tall with pale skin, jet black hair, and dark brown eyes.

you had to admit he was quite handsome but this was wrong...

"w-what?"

"dont make me repeat myself" he said with a stern look

"no!, wha- thats disgusting"

you stormed past him towards the door but he grabs your arm, pulls you back, and slams you onto his desk face first

"i told you i dont like repeating myself"

"oww get off of me" you groaned

he lifts up your uniform skirt and pulls down your underwear admiring the view

"p-professor stop" you begged

"keep begging, i like it when they do that"

he spit on his finger and sticks it in you going in and out. you were a moaning mess

"gosh your so tight" "are you a virgin?" he asked while sticking another finger into you

you were a whimpering mess you couldn't even answer his question.

he suddenly pulls his fingers out, you groan loudly "answer the question and i will continue"

"i- uh yea." you said nervously

he then flips you over on your back, takes his belt off, he pulls his pants down then his boxers

your eyes widened at the length of his cock it was probably 7 maybe 8 inches and it wasn't just long it was thick too

"uh professor, that isn't g-gonna fit" you said with fearful eyes

he laughed.

he jerked his length off then lined himself up with your slit and then began to push the tip in

you whimpered and tried to push him off but he kept pushing in

"relax."

he pushed all the way in without warning. you yelped out in pain "shut up." he then stars thrusting into you slowly, you could feel the tip of his dick hitting your g-spot he then starts to speed up. "profesor" you whimpered he then takes it out and pushes it all the way in. you let out a pornography moan you didn't know you could do. you start to feel that feeling in your stomach that your friends always tell you about. "yea you like that slut" he groaned as he came, you soon came right after him he then pulled out and put his boxers and pants back on

you pulled your underwear back up your shaky legs and grabbed your stuff so you could leave. he grabbed your arm

"tomorrow 8:00pm dont be late."

[alreadyblondenow]

▸ Assassin Jaehyun x Assassin Female reader ▸ Smut, Smut, Smut, Fluff, Angst, Gore, MATURE ▸ JAEHYUN SMUT SERIES: FUCK, MARRY, KILL ▸ VOLUME I: PART 1, PART 2, PART 3

THIS IS PART 3. THIS IS PART 3. THIS IS PART 3.

VOLUME I: PART 2 WORD COUNT: 10,748k

Warnings: THIS FIC IS FICTION ONLY, Smut, smut, smut, MATURE THEMES, Heavy description of killings because most of the characters are assassins, mentions of blood, character death, A LOT OF NCT MEMBERS WILL D WORD IN THIS FIC, unprotected sex, mentions of condoms, mentions of pill, pregnancy, swearing, mentions of alcohol. Mentions of being an orphan, Not everything is proofread, apologies again. Kidnapping, burning of possession, I hope I did not forget anything.

A/N: I will cut VOLUME I into three parts, PART I AND PART II is posted already. Thank you to my readers!!! Im sorry if it took me so long to post a usual. VOLUME 2 will be posted HOPEFULLY BY THE END OF FEBRUARY :( please understand that I want to support Taeyong's second solo album first.

When Jaehyun needed to let go of your hand and allow the doctors to do their job, everything became silent and he never felt so weak like this before. It was not too long when the others came but Jaehyun already lost himself and kept thinking who did this to you. There’s only one man in his mind though, Kun. 

By the time you were stable and safe from death, Jaehyun couldn’t let go of your hand, even while he was sleeping. But days passed by slowly, and your condition wasn't getting any better, this is where he started feeling angry again, frustrated because he couldn't do anything to wake you up. He didn’t have any choice but to go back to where he’s good at. Killing. 

“Save yourself from the trouble, let us handle this stay here with her, she’ll love it when she wakes up and you’re beside her” Yuta tried to persuade Jaehyun. 

“I’ll do this on my own. Keep her safe for me. When she wakes up… tell her I’ll be with her soon” Jaehyun says before kissing you goodbye, whispering sweet things beside your ear. 

“Please don’t leave me. I will be nothing without you” he says. 

During the days that he’s tracking Kun, Jaehyun promises to himself that from now on, he will be a boss while being an assassin himself, killing everyone that goes on his way, he is blinded by his anger and want for revenge. He will work harder to achieve piece in your lives even tho he needs to bring chaos first. 

When Jaehyun finally met Kun face to face, he did not know why finding and looking for him felt wrong, it was as if the clues that he had never pointed him to Kun’s direction but he kept on insisting on blaming Kun… because he really don’t know who to kill. 

“Do you know why the Phantoms are always ahead of you…. Because you’re stupid” Kun mocks Jaehyun. “I’ll tell you who wanted Y/n dead but I want something big in return”

“You can’t bring money on your deathbed Kun. Come on be creative, ask for something else” 

Kun just gave him a mocking smile. 

“So who wanted Y/n dead?” Jaehyun asked, pointing his gun toward Kun. 

“I think you can answer that question… actually, I think you know the answer already”

It was quiet for some time. Crazy how Kun’s words were true and Jaehyun was just denying the fact that… his father is the one who wanted you dead. He had a hunch already. But blood is still blood. Jaehyun couldn’t swallow that pill. 

“Imagine this Jaehyun… you and Y/n in a faraway place. Get married privately. Away from all the family drama. Build a home. Build a family. Isn’t that what you want? Well… according to Hendery that’s what Y/n wanted” 

Immediately Jaehyun’s world stopped. Kun already knew that he was about to get what he wanted in this life. It's not easy to have a deal with a Phantom, but for you, Jaehyun is willing to risk that.

“Just tell me if I should do the dirty work Jeong” Kun added.

By the time you gain continuousness and finally awake from your deep sleep, you look for Jaehyun beside you but it was Mark you saw first, followed by Yuta who just entered the room with a cup of noodles. Of course, you remember being food poisoned, coughing blood and staining Jaehyun’s clothes, you still remember the horrible memories before you closed your eyes that time. 

“I know you miss Jaehyun even when you’re sleeping— but he just got home from a mission alone… he will be here soon” Mark whispered. “He did it Y/n, he killed Kun. The last of the Phantoms” Yuta added. 

“How long was I sleeping?” You asked weakly. You can’t believe that Jaehyun was back to killing while you were out. He hasn’t gotten his hand dirty for years.

“Roughly 14 days-“

“He tracked and killed Kun in 14 days?” You let out a laugh. 

“Well, we almost lost you Y/n” Mark said and you can only imagine how Jaehyun felt. 

While waiting for Jaehyun to arrive, you fell asleep and dreamt of him kissing and snuggling you under the beautiful sunset, holding hands while enjoying the warmth of the sun, little did you know, Jaehyun was already beside you. Trying to gently wake you up. And by the time you opened your eyes, his lips found yours and you pulled him in for an embrace. He look tired, he got thin in a matter of days. 

“Let’s go far away from this place and live peacefully” he asked of you sweetly. “Do you like that?” His hands found yours, he was cold and shaking, oh how you wish it was warm and relaxed like how you dreamt of him. 

After being discharged from the hospital, he was focused on you. He even discharged you from the hospital himself and drove you home. A new house. Everything happened so fast, and you don’t know why Jaehyun is like this. He never left the house, he’s always by your side but he’s always on his toes, always on the phone, almost not sleeping. What’s happening? 

“Here, you feeling okay?” He handed you your medicine and a glass of water, watching you very carefully as you take everything. 

“Why are you watching me like a hawk Jae?” Your arms immediately wrapped around him. You’re still weak and he can see it. 

“I’m just doing my job” he smiles and kisses your forehead before he returns the embrace. He’s always by your side lately, you’re not complaining but you wish he could be honest and tell you everything. 

“Hmm. That’s my job. Protecting you Jeong Yoonoh” you teased him. He just laughed. 

“Do you know how painful it is to watch you sleep, and talk to you while you were unconscious? I never want that to happen again. I felt so hopeless. It’s like I was ready to die any minute”

Of course you know what he felt. You almost lost him too. “From now on… can you just let me… let me protect you. Let me take care of you. No questions asked?” He looked you in the eye and waited for your answer. 

You just nod. 

After a few weeks of staying in the new house, Jaehyun surprised you with a long vacation in Italy. You already knew that this trip was a secret to the world. A trip between you and Jaehyun only while Taeyong, Mark, and Yuta are on standby protecting you and Jaehyun. “I don’t like this princess treatment. What is going on?” You asked Taeyong sternly. But as per Jaehyun’s request, he did not tell you anything. 

Jaehyun was extremely quiet during the trip. Almost as if his mind is somewhere else but you couldn’t ask him. You feel like he’s somewhere else. 

It was dark when you two arrived at this secluded farm but you trusted Jaehyun’s words, “you’ll love this place” The house was simple. There’s grass everywhere, beautiful garden, all kinds of flowers and shrubs, and you can hear crickets around the place. The moon was shining brightly too. Nothing fancy, when you two walked in. Theres a nice living room, filled with unique furniture and nice trinkets. “Could be better if the family who lived here put up some family pictures,” you said. 

Jaehyun was quiet, but smiling. 

The kitchen was perfect you thought, you remember daydreaming about having your own kitchen like this. Big stove, an oven for baking, a wooden dining table for your future family… its perfect. 

“This place is breathtaking—“ you said as you enter the masters bedroom room and was quickly grabbed by the waist.

“Wait until the morning,” he smiled before kissing you lovingly. 

It was the first time ever again that you two shared a bed. You have no idea what’s keeping Jaehyun away from you but nonetheless, you understand. And since this is the first time you two shared the bed, you noticed that he wasn’t planning on sleeping. It’s either you feel him keep you closer to his body, you hear him text or call someone, and the next thing you know the sun is shining already and he’s making you breakfast. 

“Did you even sleep?” You asked him while he was busy cooking eggs. You hugged him from behind and greeted him ‘good morning’ 

“For an hour, yeah. I needed to take some calls so I couldn’t join you in your sleep. Dreamt about me?” He flirted and kissed you good morning. 

“Yeah. Dreamt about you sleeping beside me… only to find out you didn’t even rest properly” you chuckled and bravely asked, “what’s wrong? If work is so heavy that you couldn’t let go of your phone then why are we here?” 

“I thought you promised that you will never question the way I protect you?” He was smiling but little did he know… you’re already pissed. You couldn’t argue with him anymore because he was on his phone again answering yet another important call. 

For days Jaehyun couldn’t answer your question. He’s not helping you understand him… even though you’re more than willing to. 

It hurts to turn your back on him whenever he reaches out for you. It hurts that you avoid him in this beautiful place that was meant to be enjoyed together. At this point… you just want to go home and leave this beautiful place. 

So you told him. 

“I don’t want to fight. I’m too weak for that. I am forever grateful that you want to protect me but, this is suffocating Jae. You’re not even communicating—“ 

And then Jaehyun get on his knees and took your words away. 

He’s proposing… out of nowhere. 

“I’m sorry. I’m not perfect but I’m really trying to do things my own way. Can you be my wife? And you know… make a man out of me?” He chuckled and waited for your answer. Of course you said yes. You can feel his heartbeat, beating so fast while you hug him tight. 

“I’m working double time and looking for a suitable replacement for my place at the table so we could never leave this place anymore. That’s why” he added and put the ring on your finger. “Wow. You finally said ‘yes’” he teased you and kissed you before apologizing once again. 

Gone are the days that the house was dead silent. Now its full of laughter and sweet whispers, only between you and Jaehyun. 

He changed his ways immediately, making sure you understood what he was trying to do. Soon Jaehyun realized how much help you could been if only he told you a little bit sooner. 

As days go by you two enjoy the place together, you try so hard to make breakfast warmer and sweeter each day, spend the days like a normal couple would do, stroll around the small town and enjoy its uniqueness, swim in rivers and kiss during sunset, appreciate the quiet evening where you can only hear crickets singing while you two sat at the front porch. 

“Good morning,” he hugged you from behind in this cold morning. You were happy he’s back to his normal self and gave him kisses that are long overdue. Innocent kisses that are sweet but wet, you can tell by the way his tongue moves that he missed you too. The way his kisses are soft but you know he’s up to something even more. 

His hands were swift to remove your sleepwear until you’re naked beneath him as the morning sun hits you perfectly. You watch him remove his sweatpants and underwear and he was excited to go back to your lips again. He missed being on top of you, being able to see the woman that he loves like this again. 

“I’m sorry if being like a horny teenager this morning. I really missed you” he apologized and kissed you again, hands reaching both of your legs and spreading them wide while you check your slit with your right hand if you’re wet already and you’re ready for that cock of his. 

“Don’t apologize, you’re not a stranger” you whispered sweetly while you pump his cock and kiss his lips. He didn’t wait for another second to push in. He couldn’t wait anymore. 

He missed your warm walls. He missed your lips. He missed hearing your moans beside his ears he missed your touch. Your hands are around his neck. Never leaving his skin and continuously pulling him back closer to you whenever he tries to pull away for a different sex position. He let out a soft laugh, kissing the shell of your ear and making you weak. The way he fucks you this morning is soft, as if he’s really telling you he missed you. 

The way his cock goes in and out of your hole, slowly but deep. It was addicting. Then he flips you around, putting you on your stomach but never leaving your lips. He pushed in again while your legs are still closed, making your hole tighter to Jaehyun’s liking. This is how he wanted it. Tight and slow, but giving you hard thrust while hitting the right spot. “Fuck,” you said and catch your breath. You felt your high come down already but Jaehyun is still building his. What the fuck you thought with a smile. You feel his lips travel around your back, his strong arms wrapped around your body, touching, pinching and even smacking your skin oh so lightly it tickles you. 

“Marry me”

He suddenly said. 

“Marry me,” he repeated it while thrusting deep inside you. You tried looking back at him to see his eyes but he was quick to catch your lips and fuck you faster. He was near. 

He flips you again so he could see your eyes and beautiful face, still waiting for the sweet answer. Hopefully. He was working hard for it, as you can see.

Rubbing his hand on your hard nipples as he fucks you slow and deep. His lips never leave your lips, telling you how much he loves you. He reached for your hand and intertwined it with yours, “Marry me,” he asked again, this time looking at your eyes and left a kiss your lips which made you completely stunned… and all you did was nod your head with a smile as an answer. 

You saw how Jaehyun’s face lit up the moment you answered him. How he was genuinely happy. That you finally said ‘yes’.

He let go of your hand and put on your legs, spreading them wide while he pushes deeper. You watch Jaehyun moan on top of you, eyes closed, eyebrows furrowed. He was really hard and you feel it stretch you every time he push right back in. 

Faster he fucks you, making your boobs bounce and making you moan so loud. By the time he reaches his high his thrust were harder than before almost hurting you with the impact. But the hurt was so good it’s addicting. 

He rested his head beside your ear, putting all of his weight on top of you. Oh you love it when he do this… 

“I love you. Thank you for saying ‘yes’ I will make you the happiest girl in the world-“ 

“You already did Jae,” 

He smiled and caged you with his strong arms. It was a good day. A good day to start a new life together. 

A good day to get married privately. 

“Don’t you think this is kinda rushed and impulsive?” You said as Jaehyun drags you to the nearby church and talk to the locals for your wedding. 

Well, he’s Jaehyun. If he wants to get married today, then a wedding is going to happen. 

“Don’t you want to get married soon?” He asked back. 

“I want to but—“ 

“Then today is perfect!” He smiled so big as he hands you your flowers and pick the nicest wedding rings for the two of you. You’ve never seen Jaehyun like this before… but what did you expect? He really wanted to marry you and today, nothings going to stop him from being happy. As you watch him wear his smile that you gave, you can’t help but think about how you couldn’t just kill his joy now. 

The wedding was special. Nothing fancy. Just a the two of you, a witness and your promises to each other. 

“We’ll have a proper wedding if you want. We can invite the others and it will be a big celebration” he says excitedly while kissing you softly, motioning you towards your shared room, not even bothering to open the lights even though the sun came down already. 

Jaehyun was gentle and it was clear what he wanted to do on your wedding night. He was doing everything he can, kissing every part of you, touching you on the right places and telling you the perfect words that make your heart skip a beat.

Nothing can make this day even more perfect. 

“Given that its our wedding night, and you’re basically my wife now…” Jaehyun started with a shy smile. You just laughed at him for struggling to tell you what he really wanted. “Can we talk about having kids?” he finally said it. 

You laughed at what he said and looked him in the eye, you trace his features. His handsome features that made you like him, but when his lips caught your hand and showered it with kisses. You remembered how his handsomeness was just a plus, a bonus, and that his attitude is what made you fall in love with him. 

“Of course we can. Half of me, half of you” you said with a smile. 

“I want daughters” Jaehyun excitedly said, “I will spoil them—“

“Just how you spoil your niece huh? got it” you teased him. 

“But seriously. We’ll play every night, I’ll be their knight in shining armor, I’ll protect them and I’ll make this world a better place for them” 

“Hmm. exactly how?”

“I have a few plans in my mind… you wont like it,” he said with a sweet voice and started kissing your neck. He was putting you in the mood again by kissing your boobs and sucking on your nipples. Of course you like the feeling and you immediately forgot what he was saying. All you did was agree in your weakest state while moaning his name. You told him you cant go again because you were still sensitive but of course Jaehyun has his own ways. 

The days you spend together in this house is even more beautiful, it was not long after Jaehyun told you that he bought this place already and that this is where you will build a family with him. He made it official when he put a framed picture of you and him at the top of the fireplace. It was a good start. Just the way you like it. 

“Hows everything back home?” You asked while he’s typing aggressively on his phone, he doesn’t look pleased. You stood up and try to take a look at his phone but he was quick to turn the screen off and give his attention to you. 

“It’s just work, Im having a hard time but there’s nothing I cant handle” he smiled and reached out for a kiss. “Let’s make dinner?” 

Over dinner you couldn’t help but ask him over and over again about the situation back home. Not to mention… you wanted to tell him that you’re happy and that you’re over the moon but you just cant help but think that everything felt so misplaced right now. You also feel like he’s hiding something from you. 

“I’m afraid I have to leave you here for a few days, I’ll come back as soon as I can. I have to take care of something” Jaehyun explains while he plays with your hand and look at your ring. 

“I’ll come with you. We don’t need to rush living like this… I too have loose ends to take care of. Let me go with you” 

Of course you see right through him. He was hiding something. 

By the time the two of you got back at the headquarters, everything went crashing down and took away your peace. You instantly wished that you hadn't left that place. Nonetheless… everything was meant to happen eventually in the first place. 

Jaehyun’s father had a heart attack and it completely changed everyone's lives. In a bad way. 

“Yoonoh I need you to come with me” Chanyeol said to Jaehyun, signaling him to get in the car. Jaehyun on the other hand, can’t and won’t let go of you because he knew damn well that he needs you and you’re his wife now… you should stay close to him. 

“This is strictly families only Jae, don’t make this harder than it already is” Chanyeol said as he stops you from getting inside the car with Jaehyun. 

This is not the perfect time to announce your marriage. And so as Jaehyun was about to say it, you stopped him and made him follow Chanyeol. “I’ll be here, just come home whenever you can” you said and let Chanyeol take him away from you. 

It all happened so quickly but days went by slowly. It was dark times for everyone even though the sun shines brightly everyday and lights up every color you see. Even though everyday seems to be a gift, but in this world you’re in its just another day for chaos and revenge.

“Jeong Yoonoh’s place as the new head of the family and the new boss cannot be moved or transferred to any candidate….” 

You listened to the lawyer as he recited every last will of Jaehyun’s father. 

This simply means that Jaehyun can’t leave this wretched world and live a quiet life with you.

Privately, Jaehyun made a call. 

A call to someone he thought he could trust with his plans in life. But it ended up giving him the biggest problem he ever faced. 

“The deal was kill him after you replace me. You just made everything complicated. The deal is off. You’re useless to me now. Prepare for your funeral. I will not stop until you’re with your friends” 

As soon as Jaehyun ended the call with Kun. He threw his burner phone and removed his necktie that seems to be so tight right now. He felt so caged at some point. He felt prisoned. 

Only to realize that he doesn’t need to feel this way anymore because… as ugly as it sounds… he’s the boss now and he can do everything. Kill anyone. And no one will stop him now. 

Of course he’s having these thoughts because he’s struggling to get to you. To be with you peacefully. His wife. 

He wanted to tell the world that you are a Jeong now, looking at his wedding ring he remembers the beautiful times you spent together peacefully. And how he’s more than willing to embrace all this power and authority he has just so he could make this world a better place for you. It’s all for you. 

In a matter of days, Jaehyun became the boss of bosses. The head of the Jeongs and fulfilling his birthright. You have no choice but to watch him from the sidelines and be quiet even though you’re already his wife. It was as if you were nobody even though deep inside you’re basically a Jeong too.

That thought… of being a Jeong. Officially … just gives you headaches and heartaches at the same time. It feels wrong.

Ceremonies, gatherings and a lot of business meetings. Jaehyun faced them all and made him grow even more as a leader. You’re proud of him of course, and you’re happy whenever you see him in the news for a quick interview, him cutting a ribbon or whenever you see his face at the morning papers. You’re proud of him. 

And even though all these achievements are all good for his career… everyday, you feel like it’s creating a barrier between you and Jaehyun and it’s becoming thicker each day. 

Ever since the funeral you stayed at the headquarters with the others. You’re back to being an assassin, guarding rich people and providing protection whenever they need it. It’s whatever. Jaehyun insisted that you stop, but you told him that this is the only thing you know how to do even with your eyes closed. 

Maybe everything feels wrong because you’re not yet ready to be a wife to Jaehyun. 

“Don’t blame yourself. I’m sure he misses you too” Yuta said softly and gave you a cup of tea. “He’s been receiving death threats again. I think it was three today,” you just scoffed at that information knowing that Jaehyun wouldn’t be actually threatened by that. 

“People don’t know how he could be such a monster sometimes. Personally I think they should stop” 

You and Yuta just laugh at what you said because its true. For a minute, you and Yuta reminisce how Jaehyun was a crazy assassin at some point. You two also remembered how he used to be a normal person even before all of this happened. He was your friend, but now he’s your boss. Even now that you’re his wife… he’s more of a boss than a husband. 

“We can trade places tomorrow. I’m assigned to guarding Jaehyun’s office. I’m sure he’ll be happy to see you” Yuta offered.

“I haven’t seen him up close since we got back” you murmured and looked at your wedding ring. “I wanted to take care of him, I wanted to iron his clothes, prepare him breakfast… like you know…. like a normal wife. Instead… I will guard his office, check every food he’s about to eat for possible food poison, and just… be a wife in my dreams. It frustrates me. I’m not sure if I’m ready to see him… let alone be with him the whole day… as one of his bodyguards”

But even though after listening to your sentiments, Yuta still encouraged you to trade places with him. For him, its better to see him from a far than not seeing him, its better for you to be with him the whole day while guarding his office, than not given the opportunity to do so. “Most wives wanted to guard their husbands 24/7 you know that?” Yuta tried making you laugh, he was talking about the cheating husbands and the wives that became dramatic overtime. 

“You watch too much T.V these days” you said while laughing. 

“Was it beautiful? The wedding?” Yuta asked sweetly only because he wanted to cheer you up. 

“Beautiful. Peaceful. Jaehyun was really happy and I was just feeling things I shouldn’t. He proposed two times already, and I turned him down because I wasn’t sure how can I make him happy… but when I finally said ‘yes’… its the first time ever that I saw him so joyful, so full of life… it was that moment that I realized that I alone can make the man that I love happy, I just need to trust myself” 

“Well, I’m sure you two will find a way back to that place again. Just hold on tight” he cheers you up. 

The next day, you guarded Jaehyun’s office with a happy heart. You left a cup of coffee on his desk with a small note, ‘I’m outside’- wife. It was out of love, and you wanted to know that you’re more than desperate to be with him. 

But Jaehyun burned the note. You saw him do it. 

For someone who is clueless and does not know the truth, it looked like Jaehyun was just burning a piece of paper for fun. Followed by lighting up his cigarette before starting to read the pile of documents in front of him today. Jaehyun didn’t like the idea. After a board meeting, Jaehyun called you inside his office privately. You thought that finally… after all the waiting you did for the following weeks, you will finally get to see him up close. 

“What were you thinking? What will happen if my enemies found out that you’re my wife? My wife. Who’s guarding me so freely. Who works for me” 

It sounded as if you weren’t enough to be his wife… that’s why he hasn’t made the announcement yet.  

Jaehyun wasn’t careful with his words and he didn’t mean it. 

“All I’m saying was, I cant let my enemies see you like this” 

He realized that the more he opens his mouth… the more he offends you without actually meaning it. Jaehyun wanted to tell you that, he wanted to protect you and hide you from his enemies. But that wasn’t exactly what happened. He just offended you. 

He didn’t get the chance to explain himself further or say sorry because you left already. He couldn’t stop you. Afraid that he might make the situation worst.

Driven by concern and guilt, Jaehyun managed to come to the headquarters for you at the end of the day. At least try to talk to you. He wanted to apologize and come pick you up for dinner if you let him. He felt bad about what happened earlier. He was just scared. That’s all. 

Just like a thief, he entered your room uninvited. See you sleep soundly. He wanted to wake you up but he thought maybe you were tired too. So instead of waking you up he just left a kiss on your forehead and made sure you’re all warm. Watching you under the warm light of your lampshade, asking himself, ‘is it really okay to deny you as his wife at this point?’ ‘is this really the only way to keep you safe?’ 

“At least you’re safe” he murmured.  

Of course you felt his presence. And you didn’t care if you were tired or sleepy. You wanted to spend time with him. Even though he broke your heart earlier. You were quick to hug him and kiss him, and told him he’s already forgiven. 

The night carried on beautifully as planned. Even though you two are basically hiding from the world. You two had hot noodles under the moon and stars, you watch your husband eat in front of you and help him wipe his face because he ate too messy. “Sorry. I was hungry” He got shy when you reached for the tissue to wipe his face and help him remove his tie so he could eat comfortably. Deep inside Jaehyun was happy. But he was shy that his ears are so red. 

“Why are you shy? Its not everyday I could take care of you” you said as you put more food in his bowl and pour him another glass of wine. Of course he knew that you wanted to take care of him as your husband, he knew that someday, you wanted to help him and support his and the boss he’s meant to be… but Jaehyun didn’t expect that it would be so hard.

“I’m sorry. I really am. Its just that… I receive death threats everyday. I couldn’t let you get involved in this kind of life that I have now. I’m really sorry, I am. I know you're 100% capable of taking care of yourself and these threats are just nothing... but its different. If the news comes out that youre my wife, the world will not stop until you're dead” Jaehyun explains. His heart breaks a million times because this is not the life he promised you when he asked you to marry him. 

“I’m sorry we can’t go back to our home yet… I sure miss it already” Jaehyun says softly to you. You wanted to tell him that you already forgot about it, that it was just a short dream for you and that the wedding ring that you two shared is the only proof that it actually happened… but you didn’t want to hurt him or start an argument. You’re just happy he’s here with you. 

And speaking of rings… Jaehyun caught you spacing out while looking at his ring. You were actually surprised he’s wearing it. “What if someone dares to ask about your ring?” you asked as if you were suggesting that he takes it off if he really wanted to hide that he’s a married man now.

“This is sacred,” he says sternly and reached out for your hand. “for better or for worse” he reminded you. “Just give me more time…I’ll come to you. As always” he promised.

After eating, he cuddled with you and waited for you to sleep but he was tired too that he slept first the moment he was comfortable in your bed and you couldn’t wake him up or disturb him. He misses your presence, your warmth and your touch. 

The next day Jaehyun met Chanyeol and talked about his enemies and possible enemies in the future. He spent weeks doing background checks, meetings, bribing, and torturing a few people just so he could find who sent the threats. But every time he kills a problem, another problem just pops out of nowhere. It felt endless Jaehyun thought. 

“‘I don’t want to be like my father’ isn’t that your life motto?” Chanyeol asked Jaehyun shamelessly. “I remember when I was just starting to work for the Jeongs… your father loved his family so much, that’s why he had the idea of having his own assassins”  

“Are you suggesting that I use the squad just so I could go and finally come home to Y/n?” 

“No. but the fact that the idea came from you scared me. I’m saying… that you should go on a different path Jeong Yoonoh” 

The next day, Chanyeol officially resigned. Of course Jaehyun couldn’t be selfish this time. His work will be doubled without Chanyeol… but his hyung has his own life too. 

“I have a daughter. She’s 3 years old already and tomorrow I’ll see her for the third time. That’s how much this job has taken from me Jaehyun. That’s the last thing I’ll teach you. You have a wife now. Don’t waste your time” Chanyeol said before saying his final goodbye to his student. 

After hearing what Chanyeol said, Jaehyun tried to be with you as much as he could. But he couldn’t.

He promised to be with you and you wait for him to arrive. But he never did. 

He talks to you but only through phone calls. 

By this time your patience is almost gone. But you can’t do anything about it. You’re married. 

Although, Jaehyun managed to give you your own place as a way of saying ‘sorry’. This way it was easier for him to visit you, but in some way, it became lonelier because you were always alone. Lonelier than ever. Even though, some days and nights were beautiful because you could spend it with him, still… its been lonely for you. 

“Jaehyun has been tiring everyone. Are you sure he’s still sane?” Taeyong complains while you and Yuta watch him do pull-ups. 

“Even you. His own wife. He treats you like shit. No offense Y/n. But… now that he’s the boss now, I think he should grant you your freedom already” Taeyong added. “Instead… he’s sending you to assassinate someone whenever he feels like it” 

“It’s my job” you try to defend yourself. 

“How about his job as your husband?” 

You we’re speechless. 

Changes happened so fast ever since Chanyeol left. The new apartment, new assassins, new people to kill, new bosses, new people to kill, new people to protect. Taeyong was right. Is Jaehyun still thinking straight? 

On the same day, Jaehyun came home and you found him sleeping on the bed with his shoes still on and a cup of untouched coffee on the bedside table. You figured he must have tried battling against sleepiness but couldn’t win because of tiredness. He must be really tired like everyone else, you thought. Even though Jaehyun’s choices in life right now make everyone's lives miserable, you’re sure that Jaehyun must be suffering and struggling alone too. 

“Hey…” he greeted you with a tired voice when he felt your presence, “what time did you arrive? I’m sorry. I tried coming home as fast as I could. I was in Bangkok for days— I missed you” he got up even though its obvious that all he wanted to do is rest. People don’t see this side of Jaehyun. And you’re the only one who could see him weak like this. It pains you. 

“I missed you too?” you said sweetly, he initiated the kiss, you kissed him back, showing him that you still long for him, you still want him every second of the day. But for someone who’s tired to the bone, he sure does have the energy to turn you on and imply that he wanted to have sex tonight. “If you’re tired, we could just lay down and talk until the sun rises” he suggests, he’s aware that he’s been tiring everyone lately too, including you. The suggestion stands, but Jaehyun couldn't stop himself from devouring your neck and kissing you just how you want it.

“Don’t stop my love” you made sure he heard you right. You returned his hungry kisses and quickly unbuttoned his dress shirt. You remember the last time you had sex, it was your wedding night, and the thought of it just makes you want to melt into Jaehyun’s body, grinding on his hardening cock and using each other for your own pleasure. You hold on to him, scratching his back and leaving a few bruises on his skin because you were so so so desperate to keep him close to you. 

“I’m sorry. I’m here now” he managed to whisper. In one swift he put you in all fours, kneading your boobs from behind and pinching your nipples while he enjoys touching your body and making you feel good with his hands alone. Pulling you against his chest, you feel his lips on the shells of your ear, hearing every breath he takes. It sounded sexy, and the sound alone just makes you wet. “Can I be rough tonight?” Jaehyun asks while kissing your body back, hand beside your waist, keeping you still for all the kisses that he’s about to give your body. All you can do is nod and kiss him back with the same hunger. 

From behind, he licked your leaking cunt, you were so wet at the moment only because it has been so long ever since he touched you. Jaehyun can see and feel how you shiver at every touch, every lick he does to you. And he likes what he’s seeing. He decided to be more playful and run a finger slowly to your cunt. Your hole is ready to be fucked but Jaehyun wanted to make you wet even more. Without a warning, he licked your slit followed by his fingers, making small circle on your sensitive bud which makes your knees weak, making you land on the mattress and let out beautiful moan. Jaehyun was quick to pull your waist back up and kiss your back, the tip of his cock sliding up and down on your cunt, which makes you grip the sheets and hold on to whatever you can. You reach behind for his hand, asking him to hold hands with you which he complies before pushing in. You feel his lips on your lips as he slowly thrust in and out but not for long. It was just his way of saying, ‘im going to be rough, if it hurts make me stop’. 

You feel his hand on your waist while he thrust so hard and you hear slapping. Your face is perfectly buried on the mattress as you take every pleasure your husband gives you. You hear him moan and his moans were perfect. It was obvious that you make him feel good and that alone just makes you want more. 

His lips and his thrust were on different rhythms. His thrusts were nothing but hard, to the extent that you let out a small scream here and there, feeling his skin burn yours. Oh youre sure you’ll have bruises when you wake up tomorrow, you’re not even sure if you could walk properly. While his lips bring you comfort, warm like his being. You’re sure that his kisses left marks on your back too. You just smile at every thought running through your head. And Jaehyun caught you. 

“So you seemed to be enjoying. I’m glad” He suddenly stopped thrusting and proceeded to kiss your lips, flipping you once again facing him this time. He caresses your legs for a few seconds, touching your body while he whispers dirty things beside your ear that of course… makes you wet and want for more. When his fingers slide on your wet slit, Jaehyun was amazed at how he made you wet this time. “Can I slap your cunt?” he asks, you nod. 

He slapped your cunt in a way you loved every sting of it. Making your legs closed but your husband was quick to compensate for every sting from a hard slap with a soft touch, a soft kiss, a finger inside or a spit followed by his tongue. And when he was satisfied, he thrusted his hard cock once again and fuck you slowly this time. Looking you in the eye and melting you, making you shy. He just smiles back at you while continuing to make you crazy. When he finally reaches his high, he removes his cock from your hole and came on on top of you. Watching his thick cum paint your pussy and stomach. It was messy but no one cared. 

“I wasn’t sure if you were safe…” he was talking about your pill. “That made me realize, what kind of husband am I… I dont even know if I could cum inside my wife” he reaches for the tissue from the bedside table and wiped every cum on your skin. Kissing lower stomach all the way up until he reaches your lips and stays on top of you. Putting both of your arms on top of your head, and making you swing your arms around his neck. He wanted you to keep him close. 

“Thank you for pulling out,” is all you managed to say. 

“Can you still go for another round? Or a couple more?” He asks while kissing your neck. 

“Yeah just give me a few minutes,” you paused and took this time to express what your’e feeling, “I missed you” 

“I miss you too. You’ve been nothing but patient with me and Im grateful” he kissed your hand which had your wedding ring on it. “everything will be worth it I promise” You rolled your eyes playfully. 

“Kiss me” You commanded he complies. In a matter of seconds he’s inside you again. You clenched around him kept him close to your body held him tight and kissed him deeply. “Come home more often” you managed to moan, and all he could do is nod and return the favor of what youre doing by rolling his hips slowly and thrusting deeper. Kissing you more and keeping you on your toes.

On the next day, it was a cold morning. The room was painted with blue, and the sun was just about to rise. Jaehyun had the privilege of waking you up early in the morning even though he completely worn you out last night. He just wanted to make sure he doesnt waste his time. “Good morning” he says, kissing you softly, waking you up in the most softest way. When you finally opened your eyes, your heart skipped a beat when you saw Jaehyun’s face. His dimples flashing and a handsome smile. 

“Did you sleep well?” He asked, you nod and pulled him in for a hug, making sure youre not dreaming. “I’m thankful for you” he says, making you smile and putting butterflies in your stomach, first thing in the morning.

As you two head on with your day, this is the first time you help him prepare for work as his wife. You picked his clothes, you watch him get dressed, you fix his tie, its perfect. On the other hand, Jaehyun too was happy because he could spend this morning with you, he hugged you from behind while you were drying your hair. And told you that he will try to come home everyday from now on followed by aplogies. Sincere apologies that were whispered beside your ear which sent shivers down your spine. 

“Just give me more time. I love you” 

You were not like other couples, like normal couples and you think its time to face that as a married couple.

Of course the sex suddenly fixed everything. 

He comes home regularly. 

Spend mornings sweetly. 

Spend longer nights together that include moaning his name while his tongue is making you feel good. 

The sex became rougher and its okay because you both love it. 

But of course it didn’t last for long. 

Days become stressful for Jaehyun because of Kun. He’s now working hand in hand with Johnny, planning to overthrow Jaehyun with being the king of the city, for being the powerful man that he is now. But Jaehyun is smarter than all of them.

As an assassin he is used to research. Researching and studying everything about who he needs to kill, and how.

What is their most prized possession?

Who is the most important person in their life?

If Jaehyun were to ask these questions, you are the answer.

Sometimes, he thanks his father for making him an assassin first rather than the heir of this huge company. He'd grow us useless and stupid if it weren't for Chanyeol and the 127 squad. Maybe that’s the reason why his father made him an assassin in the first place. To gain important experience.

Jaehyun played by the book but played dirty too. He made sure his enemies will remember him. For Johnny, Jaehyun made sure that his daughter is safe… but the catch is, Johnny has no clue where Jaehyun kept her hidden. Yes. He kidnapped her. Which made Johnny beg on his knees one afternoon at Jaehyun’s office. Everyone witnessed it, but they have no clue why.

“Kun. Tell me where he keeps his airplanes” Jaehyun demanded as Johnny begged on his knees.

Soon Johnny told Jaehyun where Kun kept his airplanes. It is where he keeps his money and his gold. Knowing Kun, he’s obsessed with his airplanes, and his riches.

And Jaehyun burned them all down with his own lighter.

You have no idea what Jaehyun has done for the past week, you can only see that he’s exhausted but he’s happy.

While you were sleeping, you felt Jaehyun’s hand creep under your sleepwear, caressing your exposed stomach and trying to wake you up with his kisses. He smelled like alcohol, you bet he’s been drinking with his trusted new business partners. Drunken men who cheat with their wives overseas, rich people who make everything and anything happen.

You don’t ask for too much. All you want to do is for him to come home to you and spend time with you as much as he can. Sober.

“I know what you’re thinking.. you probably smelled it already, but I’m not drunk. Was… but not anymore— can we go for a few rounds?” he asked shamelessly. Obviously he’s horny. But you didn’t like how he was asking you to have sex with him, after not coming home for a week. You felt like… you’re someone whom he just uses for adult stress release.

But maybe he was tired and that he really missed you and you’re just quick with your ugly judgment. You dont know anymore.

“Where do you sleep whenever you don’t come home?” It was just a question, a question out of concern, a conversation starter, but Jaehyun unfortunately got offended.

“I am many things. But I will never cheat on you” he said. Sternly. He got up from his comfort next to you and proceeded to remove his tie. You checked the time and it’s almost time to start your day. But for Jaehyun, he was just about to end his.

“I didn’t mean it that way Jae—“

“Then enlighten me” he asks coldly.

You watch him remove his watch, roll his sleeves and face you, while he waits for your answer.

“I feel like… you just come home to me for sex… but I wanted to understand you more. So I avoided the subject, that’s why asked you instead ‘where do you sleep—“

“In a hotel. Alone. Are you happy now?” he answered, crossing his shoulders in front of you as if he was still waiting for you to talk, “I’m sorry if I made you feel that way. But I guess I’m just one horny motherfucker”

He let’s out a heavy sigh, realizing that his words aren’t right and you don’t deserve to be treated this way. His pride stops him from telling you he’s sorry, even though he wanted to. But Jaehyun turned his back on you and proceeds to take a shower. Preparing for yet another busy day in the office.

What have you done? You told to yourself.

Before Jaehyun leaves you tried to invite him for coffee. But he just kissed you goodbye, answered an urgent call and left immediately.

Jaehyun did not come home for days, he didn’t even said goodbye to you when he left for Macao. At this point, you’re not sure how else or what kind of apology you should do, all you could do is wait for his return.

Without Chanyeol, Jaehyun doesn’t have someone whom he trusts the most when it comes to his armies. Armies meaning… Jaehyun’s assassin. Everyone thought that Jaehyun would pick Taeyong because he is his best friend, but no. Jaehyun hired someone new. Someone who is trustworthy, who isn’t biased, and who will follow and protect Jaehyun with his life. He is Jaehyun’s cousin, Doyoung.

Knowing that he isn’t biased, Doyoung gave the 127 squad equal field assignments while Jaehyun was away. The mission was fine, it wasn’t bloody at all, and it wasn't hard for you, Taeyong and Yuta… but when Doyoung said that Mark is not capable enough to protect Jaehyun and that he needed to finish a field assignment on his own to prove it, everyone protested.

"Mark has been protecting Jaehyun ever since he learned how to hack shit!" you shouted. "Mark can protect everyone through his screens-- are you dumb?"

But even though everyone voiced out their frustrations, Doyoung is still unstoppable.

“I’ve been calling Jaehyun but he isn’t answering” you tried to comfort Mark. He’s been shaking ever since the announcement.

“We will shadow you and assist you secretly,” Taeyong says as he tries to lessen Mark’s nervousness.

“I swear if Mark dies, I’m killing Jaehyun” Yuta jokes, but he was frustrated as well.

“Everyone calm down I’m sure Jaehyun is not aware… no calls have been reaching him” you told everyone but deep inside you wern't sure.

The plan to shadow Mark secretly and assist him went in shambles when Doyoung announced that you, Yuta and Taeyong are supposed to pick up Jaehyun privately from Macao and bring him home safe.

Yes you want to see Jaehyun. Of course you wanted to protect your husband… but Mark needs you and it breaks your heart that you’re so powerless.

When you and the others picked up Jaehyun successfully, no one was talking in the helicopter but everyone is nervous. There was a time that Mark was still reacheable and that he sends signals that he's okay but not for long. And when you guys are back to the headquarters, Mark still hasn't come back.

Until Doyoung officially announced that he failed.

“He got shot and his body went straight to the icy river…” he informed everyone with heavy heart, regret and kept apologizing.

Yuta was quick to start a fight and punched Doyoung too many times, he just let him. Thinking he deserved it. You hear Taeyong punch the wall out of anger, crying and just plainly out of words.

You on the other hand, went out of the room and cried in one space, pulling yourself together, closing your eyes and hoping that this is all a dream. Everyone saw it coming. But everyone did not do anything to save him from the situation. There’s a part of you that blames Jaehyun, but of course, you avoid that thought.

For years of being together, Mark was the source of happiness of the squad. His never ending jokes, his loud voice, his loud laughs over your earpiece. You remember it all and it will never be the same again. He’s the best hacker that you know, and you’re just sad to the core that not everyone appreciates that.

It was dark times, but everything went black out when the days continued and Mark was not with you anymore.

You and Jaehyun constantly fight everyday, arguing, shouting and hurting each other through words you never told to each other before. Of course Jaehyun blames himself for Mark’s death too. It was heavy for him too. You don’t see it, but Jaehyun was looking for comfort too, someone that will tell him completely that its not his fault. But nobody showed up for him.

He did’t showed up during Mark’s funeral. And you got mad at him.

“How many times do I have to tell you? I didn’t know!” Jaehyun shouted for the nth time.

It was loud and clear of course, but he didn’t even let everyone who cared mourned for Mark and made everyone work again like nothing happened.

“It’s just how everything goes around here Y/n!!! We live in a deadly world!!!”

“A deadly world that you and your father built Jeong Yoonoh. If you don’t care about the goodness in this world anymore, I don’t want to be a part of it” you said crying.

Your words pierced through Jaehyun’s heart especially you called him ‘Yoonoh’, he was scared to the core that you might leave him this time, and this fight cannot be fixed anymore. Not to mention your freedom is getting near. You have every right and power to leave.

“So where are you going to build a life now?” You were talking to Yuta and Taeyong about their plans when they get away from this prison. It makes you happy, knowing that they can be free and live the life they want.

“Japan. To my family, I’m taking Taeyong with me. He plans on establishing a bakery there” Yuta answered. “How about you?”

You scoffed, “what about me? Did you guys forget that I’m a Jeong now? I cant leave him”

“We all know you love him. But he’s drowning of power now and — I cant even recognize him anymore” Yuta says.

“He’s not the Jaehyun that we grew up with, he’s not the Jaehyun that you loved anymore. Faced that truth” Taeyong said sternly. “You’ve earned your freedom. Think about it. Think long and hard”

When the day finally arrived that Taeyong and Yuta are free from the Jeongs it was a bittersweet goodbye. You’re happy for them, but you were sad for yourself. You remember the first day that you guys met and the first mission, everything was all worth it you thought.

“Don’t act like you’re still not free Y/n. You too, you’re free now. Don’t stay here” Taeyong explains for the last time.

Looking back a few years from now, you and Jaehyun were both excited for your own freedom and were of course, looking forward to finally leaveing everything behind. You remember how fiercely you loved each other during those times, and you remember how Jaehyun literally looked like a ball of sunshine. Who lights up your day and make everything better in a matter of seconds.

Now… everything about Jaehyun is dark. His aura, his eyes, the way he talks… everything. He really looked like a Jeong now. High, mighty and scary.

“So did they left?” Jaehyun asks. He was drinking alone at the kitchen counter, he looked wasted. You noticed he has a new tattoo on his hand, you didn’t bother asking the story behind it. You just nod at his question and avoid him for the rest of the night.

Ever since Mark’s death, you and Jaehyun stopped sleeping on the same bed, and stopped talking to each other dearly, but you sure do want to stay. But on times like this, especially when you’re lonely, you don’t know why you keep on staying with him. In this place. Truth be told you would rather sleep on the headquarters than this cold and dark place. It’s not that you hated seeing him, his presence still make your heart skip a beat, happy because he’s alive and well. And well… physically you could be together. You’re thankful regardless.

Jaehyun hears your cry every night, it breaks his heart too. Knowing that he’s not enough to make you happy anymore even though he’s doing everything he can to make this life bearable for you. But no matter how hard he tries… he’s not enough.

This is his worst nightmare. Watching your marriage fall apart because he can’t give you the life he promised.

Even though you wanted to break free, you stayed and work for Jaehyun. You kill for him, train new assassins for him, but you were never given the chance to become a proper wife anymore.

It was a quiet afternoon when you just got back from a mission that Doyoung rushed you to finish. You don’t know why he was in a hurry but you were so pissed that you showed up in his office with blood in your hands and face.

“What the fuck do you want?” You shouted. You assumed that it was Doyoung who’s sitting behind that chair but no… it was Jaehyun. And Doyoung was the one sitting beside the table.

You never thought that this day would come.

The day when you received a mission from Jaehyun. Not from Doyoung. From Jaehyun directly.

It hurt you so much seeing him all worked up and stressed, he can’t even look you in the eye as he explains what needs to be done. But after he’s done explaining the mission, he put out his handkerchief and wipes the blood off your face. “Can you give us the room?” Jaehyun politely asked to Doyoung which he followed of course.

“I know this is hard for you, because it’s hard for me too” he let out a heavy sigh before continuing… you thought that this time he’s going to say he misses you or say something that will brighten up the mood. But he didn’t.

“I need you to not fail this mission” he added.

And that made you mad. You wanted to shout at him, you wanted to punch him but you knew that staying silent and avoiding him at all costs will hurt him even more.

It was quiet. Jaehyun was waiting for you to break the silence.

“Can I have the name?” You asked without looking at him.

“It’s Kun” he says, and after collecting all the paper work that you needed from the desk you bravely left your wedding ring.

You didn’t dare asked how the fuck is Kun still alive. You have so many questions but you didn’t dare asked him because that small room is suffocating you. Not to mention your little skit about the ring. He didn’t even bother coming after you when you left the room. That’s just means you mean nothing to him.

By the time you started the mission, you thought that he will be hard to find but no. He contacted you directly and gave you an invitation for dinner in the skies. Of course you accepted it, even though you had direct orders from Jaehyun that you are not allowed to have a conversation with him.

“Do you love flying this much?” You asked him. He just smiled.

“This way, there’s no other assassins that could kill me, no people listening, just pure privacy. Just you and me”

You watch him pour another glass of champagne and watch him take a sip, you noticed he was shaking.

“I don’t have anything up in my sleeves too because I’m only here to tell you the truth” there was a slight pause, you wait for him to have the courage but truth be told, you’re not ready to hear what he’s about to say.

“While you were on coma, back then, Jaehyun found me after killing my double. I was afraid to die in his hands especially when I wasn’t the one who poisoned you — it wasn’t me, I promise. It was Jaehyun’s father. And I know that because… well we Phantoms are always 5 times ahead” he joke, you agreed.

“But when I told Jaehyun that truth… he made a deal with me. I kill his father and the Jeongs will not come after me anymore, and I become the boss. I fucked up. I admit. Got excited and killed his father first. Not knowing that Mr. Jeong is as smart as Jaehyun. His final will and testament just made Jaehyun untouchable and impossible to replace. Time passed and the man you love changed and now drowning in power—“

“You don’t need to tell my life’s story. I’m well aware—“ you tried to cut him off but he continued.

“ And here you are. He even sent his wife to clean up his mess. Are you sure you’re married to the right person?”

Kun noticed you don’t have your wedding ring. He thought maybe you left him “Good choice” he added without even asking you.

After knowing the truth while watching the sun go down high above the skies, Kun helped you stage his death and you agreed to let him go because he proved to you that he’s innocent.

When you get back, Jaehyun was happy that you didn’t fuck up… for a short time…but soon found out that Kun’s death was just staged. And so Jaehyun killed him with his own hands. He turned a blind eye about you being a traitor because he knew that you’re already fed up of what’s happening to your lives now.

But on top of it all, he already knew that one of these days, you will decide to leave him.

You on the other hand has succumbed into the darkness of your room and stayed there for days without talking to anyone, and without eating anything. All you want to do is get away from this place and live your life alone. Even if the thought of leaving Jaehyun hurts you so much already.

One night, Jaehyun tried to make everything right by bravely visiting you into your room, he promised to himself that he will do everything tonight just to make everything right. If he gets lucky he will hand you your wedding ring again.

He didn’t knock and just welcomed himself into your room. He found you staring at your window while you’re comfortably laying in your bed. He didn’t want to disturb your peace but he has to do this and try to win you back.

“I’m sorry” he whispers sweetly, and lay on the bed with you. He wrapped his arms around you but it felt like he’s suffocating you instead of comforting you. Suddenly Jaehyun doesn’t feel like home anymore.

“What kind of person kills his own father?” You started.

Shocked that you already know the truth, Jaehyun couldn’t handle what’s happening in front of him now.

“I did it so we could live peacefully—“

“Look at us now Jaehyun. You did this to us. You’re drowning of power—“

“That’s not true” Jaehyun defends.

“Then what is. I don’t even know you anymore, I’m hurt Jaehyun. I’m hurt that we’re fighting right now, I’m hurt that were not together anymore but I felt safe when I turned my back on you. I don’t want to be a Jeong”

“So this it? You’re really leaving me?”

“I believe that I’m not the right person for you”

There was silence. Suffocating silence for both you and Jaehyun. You continue to cry and forget that he’s in the room with you, while Jaehyun just sat there on the edge of your bed. The whole conversation did not include any screaming, maybe you two got tired of screaming already.

Jaehyun has a lot to say. But this is the furthest he can go with you.

This is the end.

Thank you so much for reading this work of mine! If you love what you read, please leave something in my inbox and tell me how you feel! CLICK THIS LINK. I hope we can practice, give and take.

Stay tuned for the next part! -B.

[semisolidmind]

Wait a minute, so how does your dogday hunt/eat? Like, does he have teeth at all?

idk man, how do any of the toys in poppy playtime eat? how do their digestive systems work? how does stuff get absorbed into their bodies? does it pass through? if they're capable of eating and apparently starving, how have they lasted as long as they have without food?

i don't know how to answer most of these. they eat, and they can starve. im sure the game, like a lot of sci-fi, won't actually explain any of the science to us. so i don't know how to explain how something without teeth or any visible gullet can eat anything.

however, i can explain how dogday (at least the survivor version who never lost his legs) would go about hunting. he's got speed, stealth, and strength from surviving in the factory for so long; and he's got an axe from y/n's barn.

if what y/n makes isn't enough and he's feeling like killing something, off into the woods he'll go.

[austinsastrology8991]

> Saturn ASPECTS < and why you ain't getting the respect you deserve Saturn puts you in shitty cycles/ patterns to make you; by breaking you > and when you inevitably return to these struggles, you'll realise you've mastered his circuits

yes i had break, im back now. so get over it.

Saturn aspecting Sun - loosen up. but everytime you do, something else fucks up. so now your the most rigid person. its hard to have a good time with yall, because you take things so seriously, but damn do you exceed when shit needs to be taken seriously - because your so careful in your movements 🚶‍♂️. they tend to have a habit of stating the obvious then smirking about it, which is so confusing because like we all knew that, but why you acting like you did something? this type of shit is why people struggle to chill around you, but ill ask for your advice about real shit because your obsessed with being an authority and like thats the only way to approach you guys without getting iced by you Saturn aspecting Moon - Stop crying. oh wait i meant to say; start crying. jesus you got some fucked up villainous back story but your stone walling everyone because it hurts too much to even open up to anyone. because i mean whats the point? if everyone is just going to tell you "its going to be okay" when you never feel okay. feels bad man, and you know better than most how bad feels.. man.. so i guess saturn wants you to accept how cruel the world is, and how that affects everyone, so you are more prepared for bad circumstances then most. hardly a positive spin, ik.. but its to prepare you for your future. and you have no idea why you must go through so much pain - but there is a reason, and it will become clear later, so better utilize that energy to your benefit; because its just another one of saturns bitch cycles

Saturn aspecting Mercury - when you speak, people try there best to one up you, but your a master at it by now > passive aggressive, or authoritative - who gives a fuck if you belittle the other person, because i mean if your right, then you right. so better off writing it into reality, rather than watch everyone clown around with the wrong answers. but speaking ths way to others, really does make it hard to talk to you, even if you right, your just a fkn asshole. so honestyl. stop trying to figure out the right answer, and think about whats the right thing to say. stop pretending to be an authoritative speaker if no one even wanna listen to you, and start owning what you say more. Saturn aspecting Venus - joecly flores on repeat. okay i get it. you dont believe in love, because you see it how it is. well. its not actually how it is. youve ruined all your chances of anyone ever gonna love you because you think being all cold and mysterious is attractive (and it can be) but i mean who tf wanna love someone like that. its like riding a bike uphill. i mean i dont wanna do that. like these people are always attractive, but their attitude is so hard to ignore, its like trynna make a spider smile. thats why people reject you more than anythng else. and Ik that your just trying to find the real ones, but guess what, everyone that ever talked to you/ flirted with you, liked you.... oh thats too shallow or optimistic? my bad Saturn aspecting Mars - I never do anythng right ;(((((( well you actually do a lot right, but your always doing too much. your so obssessed with perfection and being a high achever that you've forgotten everything you've achieved becayse your so focused on the next one. if you just reflected on how much you work; in comparison to most, youd realize you are big achiever, and you dont understand reality as well as you think. well okay you do undersatnd reality extremely well (because you try so damn hard lol) but you've lost your sense of self because you still dont think your worth it till you achieve the next thing- hence the cycle of working yo ass off - but hey you'll achieve a lot, you just need to perfect your perfectionistic tendencies -then youll finally be perfect! (get it) Saturn aspecting Jupiter - i think this aspect is one of the coldest. because these people try so hard, but get no where for the majority of their life. till they change perspectives and realize if they try harded else where, they'd get launched into success. i mean the amount of people who are successful - and i mean hugely successful > have this aspect - and everytime it was due to massive luck. however only they could grasp the 'lucky' opportunity, and that initself makes their achievements so much cooler than others. remember its jupiter, so all your 'hardships' inevitably become your greatest 'luck'. the white guy from 'sean of the dead' has this, and look at how much he impacted movies in general... jus saying mad props to that guy and to yall

Saturn aspecting Uranus - okay these guys are outcasted from society hard, due to some bullshit, but when they get recasted back into civilization they become someone who can change society at large- but its gonna take so much work... their perspective has been molded differently to most because they've been alone for so long. they have strange ideas that somehow work into tangible assets. perfect example : eminem - i mean hes basically best case scenario with this aspect, but hey why not try for best case scenario? but then again he made that hamster song... so i mean not always best case scenario... THats the price of neglect you could say lmao. Saturn aspecting Neptune - your imagination is your greatest challenge but also the key to your ultimate glory. like Michael Jordan had this aspect and well he was hella delusional. until he wasnt.... but its hard to say how much this benefited him... because both stages of his life - pre glory - and; glory - he was heavily isolated from everyone, and (likely) suffered in seclusion, by placing so much importance on his dreams. saturn wants you to master the 'spiritual world' i.e. imagination and dreams, and this causes anxiety that their dreams will just be dreams. which is what makes them put so much effort into it becoming real... then they realize the price of it all when its too late. so just make sure your aware of what your manifesting because if anyone can make it, its you. (achieving ur dreams) Saturn aspecting Pluto - how powerless do you feel. you do realize people can see how thirsty you are for respect/power, because they can sense your insecurity from past exepriences, and thats why your easy to play with. but do not worry. you will attain true power with enough effort. not just a bullshit image of power. because you've been pushed into the most vile trials to have ever have existed, and its only so that when you become someone powerful, you utilize your power properly, and do not step on others, because you know damn well how much it hurts to be stepped on. so your power is > saturn. your trials are so intense, and you're basically broken, but things that are broken know how to cut others (like broken glass). and well saturn wants you to master this > pluto > the darkness. and it makes reaching the top so much more palpable, because you'd feel like you earnt it. but you can make others insecure about what youve overcame so you better be humble, or saturn will fuck you. no honour among thieves, and we know you experienced that, but the kings play different, and you gotta adapt or saturn will flatten you.

[al-of-the-stars]

hello there!

may I request

vox x reader

So like u know on ep 8 the main cast had that fight and everything

could u do the reader fighting with them and coming home without a leg like how life lost her arm

( IM SO SORRY IF THIS IS CONFUSING I DONT REQUEST MUCH IM SORRY IF ITS BAD :( )

"Watch as the world falls around us"

A/n: Dw at all! Thank you for the request, it's always a pleasure to write this confident tv man lol! Hope you enjoy!! :D

Vox knew this was a bad idea. He fucking knew it. The moment he saw Your injury happen in real-time on one of his cameras, his eyes widened. He teleported you back immediately. Without another word, he took you to your room and got you as patched up as he could. “I would ask if you're alright but I think I know the answer,” He wasn't a medical expert but he was a tech one. A light bulb lit up in his mind. He suddenly took you off the bed and carried you to his workshop. 

“Vox! What the hell!?” 

“If I can create a tech empire, I think I can make a mere prosthetic leg, darling” he spoke, his signature confident smile worn on his face. He sat you on his lap as he worked, occasionally asking you questions about what features he should add. As he tinkered away, you couldn't help but feel a sense of comfort knowing how much the television demon truly cared for you. When his invention was created, Vox couldn't help but smile.

[ugotcooneycrossed]

since u said you was doing blurbs , i don’t have a major thoight process for one just maybe like what a day would be like with alessia

a/n: this is awful, my brains not braining and the ending weak but hey! its done😌

alessia is not a morning person.

you know because you cannot count the number of times her ten alarms blare, and her- without fail hit 'snooze' each time.

you lay awake- scowling at the annoying chime playing from her phone for the umpteenth time.

"less- baby, please."

the blonde pays you no mind- her arm tightening her hold on you, she shoves her face into your neck, and you squirm at her warm breath fanning your skin there.

you can barely get an arm out from her hold on you, to tap her on the shoulder- sick of the alarm continually interrupting your peace.

you whack her on the shoulder harder when she doesn't budge, and she barely moves an inch- still unresponsive to the world.

"less."

you try- nothing.

"less."

she's offically dead to the world.

"alessia."

"hey!- you never call me that."

your jaw drops in shock- scooting away from her.

"have you been awake this whole time?!"

she doesn't answer you- pouting in bed next to you. looking down at her lap, her hair messy from sleeping.

"baby- have you been awake this whole time?"

"no- i only just woke up not that long ago."

"you respond to baby, but not your name? hmm strange."

"well- you're not allowed to call me my name, it's baby to you."

"riight. okay baby, whatever you say."

"why are you even waking me up? it's my day off."

alessia- who's too busy stretching to notice you- grunts when you smack a pillow into her face.

"hey! excuse me, i. did. not. wake. you. up. your stupid ten thousand alarms did."

you hit her with the pillow between each word.

alessia grabs the pillow at your last attempt to hit her- and she throws it to the side- wrapping you up in her arms instead, and holding you to her chest.

"shhhh, sleep now."

"less, baby, we can't sleep- there's things to do."

"shhh, sleep time."

"fine. thirty more minuets- thats it."

-

an hour later- you press a soft kiss to her forehead.

"come on baby- time to get up now."

"youre mean to me."

alessia says- smiling up at you from the bed.

"mmh oh yeah- so mean, the meanest, now get up and make the bed. and you can start the laundry when youre up."

"wait- this is actually mean now!"

she calls out after you as you leave the room.

"so mean!"

you yell from the kitchen.

you hear the sheets rustling and alessia starts humming as she makes the bed- you hum along, memorising the song from listening to her. and you smile to yourself.

-

after breakfast is made and alessia has begrudgingly started the laundry. you both lay on the couch- her legs propped up on your lap as you rub her shins softly.

its nice- getting moments alone to just sit with her, both in your own world.

it's not often that it happens now- and as much as you are so, so proud of alessia and everything she's doing for her career

you miss her.

"darling?"

you look at her.

"oh yes? sorry i just got lost for a bit."

"nothing- it's okay. i love you so much."

-

the day continues slowly- both of you working together to finish chores piled up from ignoring it through the week.

and by the time you're making dinner, alessia is hovering over your shoulder stealing pieces of food.

you smack her hand away when it reaches again for the sixth time.

"no- wait for dinner."

"im just making sure its not poisoned baby."

"oh yeah, sure."

she smiles at you and kisses you- grabbing your hips to pull you away- you get distracted in her arms before the smell of burning takes your attention.

"lessi! not again- go away! you're too distracting here!"

-

much later, you're on the couch- cuddled up with alessia, take out boxes on the tea table, the dinner you were trying to make burnt and stuck on the pan- left forgotten in the sink.

you feel her press a kiss to your forehead.

"i love you."

"i love you too... you're a terrible sous chef though."

[mochinek0]

Daminette December 2023: 11-School Play

Damian was frustrated. Marinette had volunteered herself to help with the school's play costumes. She was too busy afterschool, now. She couldn't spend time with him like before. They couldn't paint or go to cafés. They couldn't go to the park. So he decided to take food to her dorm.

Marinette was startled when someone began to bang on her door.

'What the fuck?'

Marinette opened the door and was shocked Damian was the one trying to break her door down. Without a word, he barreled his way inside.

"Damian, what are you doing here?" Marinette questioned, closing the door.

"It's Thursday." he answered, "We eat curry on Thursdays and since you weren't answering, I brought it here."

Marinette watched as he set the food on the coffee table. He kept eyeing her fabric and then going back to taking their food out of the paper bags.

'When did I last spend time with him? I think it's been about two weeks.'

Mari smiled, "Sorry, Damian. I've been so busy and I do forget to check my phone, when I get lost in my work."

"Did you do your homework?" he asked.

"Yes." she replied.

"All of it?" he pushed.

The designer winced, "Sort of."

"Curry and then homework." Damian stated.

"But-" she argued.

"Then you can finish." he persuaded.

"Damian-" Marinette began.

"Tomorrow is Friday. I will get you coffee at night, if you do the homework." Damian declared.

Marinette nodded and sat next to him, looking at the food.

"You're the best." she whispered.

"How much longer do you have to work on the play?" Damian asked.

"Over the weekend and partial of next week." Mari winced.

Damian just sighed before taking a bite of his food.

"I'm sorry that I've been too busy for you." Marinette spoke.

Damian flinched, realizing she had come to the conclusion all on his own.

"I am simply making sure you are eating and sleeping." he declared, "How many more do you have to work on?"

Marinette answered, "I only have five more dresses. I have all of their measurements and they are simple off the shoulder, knee length dresses with faux fur trim. If I work this weekend on them, they'll all be finished. The only thing I'll have to worry about at school is the fittings and if anything needs last minute repair."

"Good." the Wayne heir grumbled.

Marinette smiled softly. She had no idea that when she volunteered to help with the Winter school play, that Damian would get so jealous.

"I'm glad I chose to do this." she whispered.

Damian stopped mid-bite and stared at her.

"At my old school," Marinette spoke, "I would have been forced to do it. Here, I volunteered and they paid me for all of the material. My old school never would have paid me, just told me I was doing 'my job'."

Damian stopped eating and closer to her.

"As long as they arent taking advantage of you." Damian replied, as he continued eating.

"No." Mari said, "I would have quit. No more weak Marinette."

She saw Damian smirk in between his bites.

"Tell you what." Marinette announced, "The next time I think of helping, I'll let you know so you can help me stay organized."

"Deal." Damian answered.

TAGLIST: @maribat-calendar-events@animeweebgirl@a-star-with-a-human-name@meme991001@vixen-uchiha@abrx2002@alysrose-starchild@fandom-trapped-03@dood-space@moonlightstar64@saltymiraculer@marveldcedits20@09shell-sea09@icerosecrystal@animegirlweeb@insane-fangirl-of-everything@blueblossombliss@nickristus-dreamer@megawhitleycalderonpaganus@missmadwoman@meira-3919@princessdaisysolosyourfaves@blep-23@fangirlingfanatic@darkhinauniverse@ravenr22@im-a-satanic-ritual@ravennm84@bianca-hooks123@a-slytherinish-gryffindor@starling218

[myabsurddreamjournal]

Fate (part 5)

Soldier boy x Fem! Reader

Summary: Reader is a scientist who is forced to work at lab that they keep soldier boy frozen, she talks and cries to him when she is alone, thinking he can't hear her but he hears everything.

....

it was their first week here, the cheap motel room they booked with her money.

the walls were gray and a bit dirty, there was two beds and a small tv, and microwave. It was maybe one of the worst motel rooms in the city but felt like heaven for her after 2 years spent in lab.

For Ben, well he didn't say much, She realized shortly after coming here. Well there were times, where he speaked and even joked, asking her questions or answering her questions. But it was limited. whenever she asked something about his past, or he remembered something, He would suddenly stop talking and stare at wall without blinking, deep in thought. Afraid of triggering his PTSD, she kept her mouth shut even she wanted to listen and talk to him about it.

He was outside in the first day, coming back with his bag looking heavier at evening, saying he paid a visit to old friend. She didnt asked what was in the bag, thinking he would show it sooner or later.

At night they laid side by side in the beds. Almost 1 meter between them. She would think that he will be vanished in the morning, that he was a dream.

but he was there everytime. Looking at her sometimes. Sometimes asleep. She evem felt him adjulsting her blanket one night, Covering her feet. She felt no fear, which was so weird for her, not being afraid of someone who would explode at any second. And it confused her,

somethings about her confused Soldier Boy too.

......

She was applying makeup, a cheap eyeliner and lipstick, that she bought from a store today, after seeing her reflection on the mirror for the first time, she felt a bit self concious around Ben. Her skin were dull from bad diet and lack of sunlight for years. Unlike Ben, who looked perfect even with that hair and beard, or being there for 40 years.

well, he was Soldier Boy after all.

With this thoughts in her mind She applied lipstick on her cheeks too, and liked the effect.

putting down the lipstick, she looked at her hair, It looked lifeless like her skin and grew too long for her taste. She was thinking about cutting it for the last 2 or 3 days.

She decided to do it. picking up the scissor from counter. And started.

.......

After about half and hour, While she was cleaning the sink Soldier Boy knocked the door firmly.

she opened the door:

"-oh, im sorry do you need to use bathroom?" she said looking at him, he was wearing giants t shirt and sweatpants she bought for him from thriftshop, Homelander drink can in his hand. He looked almost normal,

Instead of answering he looked at her face.

Her hair was shorter now, (He never liked on women, thinking it made them look like man.) Her cheeks and lips pink. Eyes brighter.

But it was okay on her, beautiful even. He found himself thinking this often in last days.

But this wasnt like anything he felt before, and it made him so confused, he had affairs with countless women, they literally threw themselves on him. And he was attracted to them. Loved their curves, long hair And their femininity. The way his heart beated fast when they were close to him.

But she...

she was another story.

He didnt really give shit about anyone before, Never felt bad about things he said or did. But he found himself holding back last days. Whenever he was angry around her,

Because he hated the way she jumped in her chair when he raised his voice, angry at news about attacks on the tv.

He never wanted to see her like this.

He wanted to protect her.

He wanted to be close to her (in a different way).

Hide her in his arms from the world that she was so afraid of.

Lost in his thoughts he didnt realize he was staring at her face, and not answering.

-"Ben? are you alright?"

-"Yes doll, i was wondering what were you doing there hiding?"

-"I wasnt hiding, i was cutting my hair."

-"It looks nice"

-"Thank you." she said. Looking at floor.

the silence was awkward, so she smiled at him and got back the cleaning,

After watching her for a while he asked suddenly;

-"You can cut my hair too?"

He wanted her to cut his hair?!, Her heartbeat quickened.

Hearing it, Soldier Boy smiled softly. She blushed harder when she remembered that he was hearing it.

-"y-yes sure i used to cut my brothers hair all the time. You want me to cut it now?"

-"Yes doll."

-"Okay, you need to sit here." she pointed the old chair.

He walked towards it, her heartbeat was getting quicker.

-"calm down doll im not gonna eat you."

-"s-sorry i just still cant believe you are awake."

-"you sure this is the reason?", he winked.

-"yy-eah."

she picked up the towel from counter quickly, wrapping it around his shoulders.

He took a deep breath, shoulders relaxing, this was one of the weird things about her too, Making him calm whenever she touched him.

When she started to brush his hair with her fingers, He couldnt help the sigh that left his lips, Closing eyes. This felt good.

After few seconds, he tried to stiffen his posture, not letting his guard down, but it was impossible.

-"Where is your brother now?" he asked suddenly, eyes still closed.

-"he is gone." she said. He could see sadness taking over her face even his eyes closed.

well he felt like shit now.

-"back there, i felt this." he said then, trying to change the subject. He needed to wipe that sadness off her face

-"felt what Ben?"

-"Your hands, touching my face"

-"I-it was for checking your body temperature y-you know, i-its the easiest wa.-"

-"sure thing doll" he said, winking again, smiling at her who looked like a tomato.

-"im sorry if it made you uncomfortable Ben,"

-"It, didnt."

it was far from uncomfortable actually, like being touched by an angel, made him feel warm even for a few seconds.

but he didnt tell her that.

....

20 mins later their hair was mixed on the floor, dark brown and light brown together.

-"You like it?" she asked, taking off the towel from his shoulders

-"Yes doll," he said patting her head. "You will be the only one to cut my hair from now on" he said, smirking.

She smiled at him, looking at the floor again.

-"O-oh i almost forgot, i bought razors for you, your beard i mean, if you want to shave it of course." She told him as he was about the leave the bathroom

-"how you like it? do you think i should shave it?"

-"y-you look good both ways."

-"you too", he said looking at her hair.

taglist: @deans-spinster-witch@mfnqueen1@ponypickle@butchers-girl@verypostcrown @angelbabyyy99 @6asm0ne @uncle-eggy

notes: Next part too will be about their days in motel (they will get closer!) then we will see butcher and hughie :)

[jd-loves-fiction]

𝐎𝐩𝐢𝐚

n. the ambiguous intensity of looking someone in the eye, which can feel simultaneously invasive and vulnerable—their pupils glittering, bottomless and opaque—as if you were peering through a hole in the door of a house, able to tell that there’s someone standing there, but unable to tell if you’re looking in or looking out.

✦ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Sir Gawain x GN!Reader

✦ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: smut + fluff

✦ 𝐰𝐜: 2.2k

✦ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: Minors DO NOT INTERACT thanks. also DONT USE SALIVA AS LUBE THIS IS THE MIDDLE AGES WAAAAHH

✦ 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: Anyway I havent written anything in a hot second, especially smut, so i might've lost my touch but this man makes me insane. Hope its still enjoyable anyway and im working on some fluffy stuff as well whoop enjoy :)

Stupid quest. Stupid forest. Stupid rainwater puddle.

You didn't see it – you were too damn busy staring into those gorgeous brown eyes of his, lashes lowered ever so slightly in a way so tender it might as well have been what knocked you over.

“Oh goodness.” Sir Gawain exhales a second after the splash, arms reaching for you a little too late. Turns out he’d been lost staring at you as well. “A-Are you alright? Are you hurt?”

“I–” You start to deny it but think better of it. It’s Gawain, he’d know the answer just from looking at you. “I’m cold. And wet. And tired.”

“I see. Let’s find ourselves a place for the night, yes? The storm from last night might be coming back.” He tells you, reaching out a large hand to pull you up. You take it without hesitation.

Quickly finding yourselves a damp and dingy little cave to pass the night in, Gawain gets to work starting a fire as you shiver uncontrollably. 

“You know–” He begins, fumbling with two rocks and a handful of dryish branches, looking up at you for a moment, “You look good, all soaking wet.”

The warmth of his gaze sweeps over your form, lingering on your shaking shoulders, passing by the water dripping off your linen shirt and how your arms curl around yourself to keep the heat in – heat he stokes with that cheeky look, the quickness of his breath, the biting of his lovely, soft, bottom lip…

A spark goes off, catching fire to the branches, cutting the tension like a hot knife over butter. But it does not dissipate, the fire does not cool, it merely wanes to a simmer.

“I bet you’d look even better.” You blurt out, just to get the last word in before sitting by the flames, not entirely aware of what you’ve just said and where his beautiful, hasty mind would take your words. Then again, you’re much more concerned with not freezing to death.

“Trying to warm up with wet clothes isn’t going to do you any good. It isn't going to do anything at all, really.”

“What do you suggest, then?” You sigh, knees tucked to your chest, sitting opposite the dashing young knight.

“You should take off whatever clothes are wet and let them dry by the fire.” He begins shrugging off his thick wooly cape to lay on the stone floor beside him, “And sit close to me – we can share body heat.” he adds on quickly, as if he hasn't made his intentions with you clear enough throughout this journey already.

You’re not sure when it started, when his dark eyes began wandering, when his touches started lingering, or even when you started doing the same. But it’s clear to the two of you; the want– the need too transparent to hide. 

There’s more to it though, for you at least. It would be almost too easy to dive into him otherwise. Like a nymph’s bewitching calls into murky waters.

But it could never be that easy. Not with the one they may one day call King. That and his womanizinging reputation.

Expecting anything other than a purely lustful encounter out of this would be foolish to say the least, but perhaps you are a fool. Because the way he looks at you; the way he has been looking at you since– whenever you started noticing; makes you feel as if there might be a chance. 

So you do as he suggests, stripping down to the basics under his unwavering gaze, shuffling over to his side and nuzzling against him.

Questions swirl endlessly within your mind while leaning on Gawain's warm body, his shirt so thin you could almost perfectly imagine what he'd look like without it in your mind's eye.

But then, those eyes, clear as spring water in their intentions, cage you in with their stare and suddenly you feel as if everything must be laid out plainly, “What are your intentions with me, Sir Gawain?”

The look on his face nearly makes you regret it, fearing you may have offended him, but surely he’s aware of his reputation – surely he must understand.

After a beat he exhales with a slight smile as his large hand comes around to your shoulder, “Are they not clear?”

“Clear as they may be, I like things to be absolutely transparent, especially when it comes to men of your… caliber.” He hums in acknowledgement with a smirk, before it slowly slides off his face, replaced with a thoughtful expression so rarely seen it could be possession.

“I understand what you mean, love. But, in truth, I cannot answer you as of yet.” At the inquisitive look you give him he begins trying to explain himself, “It is that… Well, I am to be King somewhat soon, I assume. So it would be reckless for me to act as carelessly as I once did. But then also, I do not yet know what my intentions are – beyond tonight, that is.” Your face warms slightly at his suggestive tone as his hand drifts down your naked back, “All I know, is that you intrigue me. Greatly. If anything, I know– I feel as if… once will not be enough…”

A dark hand of long, slender fingers lifts your chin to meet his fathomless stare, looking deep into your eyes and beyond that – to your vulnerable soul. 

“I feel… the same.” You speak, suddenly breathless as your face nears his subconsciously, giving in to his siren call.

Lips meeting like a spark to a fire, a beginning. His hands wander over you, reverent, gentle, as yours grasp at the front of his tunic, urging him as close as humanly possible – as if close isn't nearly close enough.

The kiss grows fiercer, a push and pull of soft pink muscles attempting to gain control, before being forced to part, open around heaving breaths while eyes grow hazy with lust– no, yearning. Gawain draws back to shed that bothersome tunic before his hands attach themselves to your hips to pull you onto his lap. The ease with which he does it has you grinding down instantly, hands running over sweat-slick caramel skin.

His dark curls bounce as he tosses his head back under your movements, desperate for some control of the primal urges suddenly overloading his brain – to fuck you without mercy, to ruin you for anyone else – but no, that’s not how he wants this to go.

“God above, you're beautiful.” He breathes, hands stilling your hips to let his eyes sweep over your features slowly. The intensity of his gaze makes you squirm and the strength in his hands warms your inside more than the fire ever could. 

Burying your face in his gorgeous, exposed neck you speak so low not even God could hear, “Shut up and take your pants off.”

You feel him smile against your hair, laying a kiss against it before drawing away to do as you ask, somewhat clumsily, but earnestly all the same. Sitting still on his cloak, you watch him avidly, eyes catching on every new inch of dawn-hued skin revealed.

The singularity of the moment strikes you suddenly; back at the castle, amongst duties and expectations, this would never be possible – this calm, this undemanding rhythm. You have no place to be, no one to meet, so you can just be. Together.

“Where did you go?” He whispers, caressing your face with a softness undeserving of a knight’s strength, making your eyes focus back on his features and immediately surge forward to connect your lips to his, “Nowhere important.”

Gentle as a breeze Gawain lays you back, body between your legs and arms beside your shoulders. His prominent nose brushes yours softly, sensually as he parts your legs even further, “Good. I want you here with me. For this will not be a moment you’ll want to ever forget.”

“Oh,” You chuckle teasingly, back arching almost subconsciously against his warm, wide chest while his hips start moving against yours, “You’re sure of that, are you?”

“Your reaction tells me all I need to be sure.” He replies, so cocksure you’re suddenly reminded of who he’d been before the Green Knight had showed up proposing a ridiculous game – knowing he hasn't changed completely is oddly comforting.

“You talk too much… Sir.” You grumble in lieu of remaining silent and further inflating his ego, getting a raised brow at the tacked-on title.

“But you like it, don't you? Don't lie to me, it's unbecoming.” The corners of his lovely lips twitching with the effort not to laugh. Quick as a flash, your legs lock around his waist, pulling his center down to yours and he’s forced to take a breath from between his teeth as his long lashes flutter, “Like I said; you talk too much.”

Gawain bites his tongue – there will be plenty of time to get back at you once you’re mindless and thoroughly spent – he reasons. For now, he just needs to get you there.

One large hand settles at the base of your throat as his luscious lips travel down your neck in flickers of contact that have you arching against his firm grip for more. Soft as a feather, he pulls away your undergarments as needed to kiss at your chest; sweetly at first and then so wet and sloppy you’re left gasping and whimpering, hands grasping at his strong shoulders for purchase.

Grabbing you below the knees, he gently pries your legs open while kissing down your body until you're tingling and trembling all over wishing he'd just get to it.

“Gawain…”

“Hmm? Are you going to beg? Go on.”

You pout petulantly; no you won't beg, he'd enjoy that far too much. But you can, however, tempt him into doing what you want.

“Gawain…” you moan seemingly helplessly, nails brushing his skin making him shiver in delight, “won't you take me? It's clear you want to.”

“It's clear, is it?” He chuckles breathlessly, ceasing completely to just watch you and it makes you want to smack the back of his head in frustration.

Breathing deep, your eyes move over him carefully, appreciating every inch of delicious, exposed skin so many yearn to catch a glimpse of before…

“Gawain,” you raise an amused brow, surely he noticed… “Yes?”

Oh, he's far too good at playing dumb.

You raise yourself until your lips barely brush his, brown hues watching you closely down the length of his nose before your hand boldly presses down on his stiff cock and those eyes glaze over before rolling back in overwhelming delight, “I'd call this pretty obvious.”

Hand squeezing in pulses, you're granted a low groan followed by a deep sigh, “God, you're too much. I cannot– wait.”

Gawain's mouth devours yours, hungry as a wolf, pushing down once more while his lithe fingers graze the inside of your thighs, grinning at what he finds. Cheeks warming at how your mouth chases his as he pulls back, he gives his palm a full lick before wrapping it around his throbbing cock and stroking. The flames illuminate this length of his gorgeous neck like an old painting and your tongue longs to glide over it and follow the path of his sweat so deeply you almost miss him speaking, “Will you beg now?”

You groan most crudely, far over his games and his perfect face and his disarming voice and his damned haughtiness– your hand grasps the curls at the back of his head, delighting in his whimpered response, “Take me now or so help me–,” your not proud of the way your voice wavers but you’re both past that now.

Gawain’s lips connect with yours surprisingly softly, leaning his forehead against yours and lining himself up with your center, “Shh, I’ve got you, just relax.”

A kiss to your hairline is the only warning you get before he starts pushing into you, slow as can be and yet still you cry out at the feeling in between the kisses he places to your lips to offer some comfort.

“There we go, breathe for me. It’ll feel better soon…”

“Gawain…” You moan, clinging onto him as the bite of initial pain melts into pleasure.

Sucking on your neck, his hips sway against yours rhythmically, wavering only when your nails dig into his sides while moaning desperately in his ear, “Gawain please…”

“Now–” his breathing stutters while his hips buck suddenly, pressing a collection of whispered curses from both of your mouths, “Now you beg?”

“Just please fuck me, please.”

The way his cock twitches inside you tells all you need to know on how he feels about your words.

Curls brush the side of your neck as he reaches to bite at your lobe, grunting and moaning into it while speeding up his hips so much your own moans become stuttered and desperate.

As the end nears, Gawain presses his lips to yours, nearly missing in his eagerness, and opens his mouth as if to say something but no words leave him, only a loud moan of your name ringing across the cave just as your body does the same.

Your mind is eerily quiet as you come down, blinking eyes you don't recall closing and feeling the next king breathe against your naked chest while gathering himself. After a moment he raises himself on shaky arms to gaze down at you, hand reaching to brush a stray hair from your cheek and sighing as if suddenly, all is right in the world.

[lustfulslxt]

Help - Chris Sturniolo

summary : oc catches chris trying to get himself off to her, and gives him a helping hand

warnings : smut obvi

a/n : this is another one of my ao3 fics xx

—

chrissy ❤️‍🩹 come over

evie 🫶🏼 im at work rn

chrissy ❤️‍🩹 so come over after

evie 🫶🏼 ok but i'll have to stop home and shower first

chrissy ❤️‍🩹 just come straight over

chrissy ❤️‍🩹 you can shower here and we can have a sleepover

evie 🫶🏼 ok do you need anything before i come over

chrissy ❤️‍🩹 nope, just you

evie 🫶🏼 see you soon

after maybe half an hour, evie was pulling up to her best friend's house. as she was walking up, nick and matt were walking out.

"oh, hey evie." the two boys smiled.

"hi guys." she smiled back at them. "you guys leaving?"

"yeah, going to madi's for the night." nick says.

evie nods, "okay, see you tomorrow."

with that, evie walks in the house. nobody other than chris was home now, so she made her way up to his room. upon walking in, she seen him turning his pc off and removing his headset.

"hey babe." she greets her best friend.

"you're here!" chris exclaims, walking over to pull her into a hug.

"sorry, i probably stink. i did just get off work."

chris shakes his head, "you're fine. but you can shower right now if you want and you can just borrow some of my clothes. i figured we could just hangout and watch movies."

evie nods, "okay, that works. i'll be out shortly."

chris relaxes on his bed while evie goes to his connected bathroom. while waiting for her, chris gets lost in thought.

he asked evie to come over because he needed her. he was having a bad day, but he didn't know why. he was tense and stressed and he was completely clueless as to why. evie was always his solution. no matter the problem, he always found his answer in her. she was like his platonic soulmate. that he found attractive and sometimes fantasized about having sex with. but that's besides the point, it would never happen.

the bathroom door opens, snapping chris out of his thoughts. evie emerges wrapped in nothing but a towel. there's water droplets all over her body and steam fogging around her from the heat of the bathroom.

"sorry, i didn't exactly bring any clothes in there." she says to him.

he clears his throat, "oh, you're good. you can pick whatever."

she goes to his dresser, looking through a couple of drawers. chris couldn't take his eyes off of her. she looked so incredible and he just wanted to do dirty things to her. absentmindedly, she bends over to sift through the bottom drawer, not realizing that her best friend was watching her every move.

chris' mouth parts, his eyes widening at the sight before him. he seen her pussy pop out just beneath the towel, looking so pretty, pink, and incredibly fuckable. his throat ran dry as his dick immediately stiffens under his shorts.

"um, i'm gonna use the bathroom." he mumbles to her, quickly shutting himself in there.

evie furrowed her eyebrows but got dressed nonetheless. she sprawled out in his bed and scrolled through her phone as she waited for him.

after what felt like forever, evie decided to get up and check on him. she didn't know if she was just super bored or if he was actually taking forever. but once she got closer to the door, she heard him on the other side.

it was muffled but she could still hear it clear as day. chris was moaning, more than that, he was moaning her name. without actually using her head, she quietly opens the door to see what was going on. her suspicions were confirmed once she laid eyes on chris.

there he was, leaning against the sink. his boxers were down to his ankles and his hand was gripping his dick. he had his head tilted back with his eyes squeezed shut as he inhaled sharply.

"f-fuck evie." he moans out, his hand squeezing around his throbbing tip.

evie's hand went over her mouth, completely flabbergasted that her best friend was getting himself off to the thought of her. unfortunately, she wasn't exactly silent with that.

chris' eyes shot open and his head snapped towards her. he immediately tries to cover up, his mouth falling agape as he failed to form words. evie quickly shuts the door and runs back to his bed.

both of the two's stomachs were in knots, but for different reasons. chris felt guilty and embarrassed, and terrified that he just ruined their friendship. he wanted the earth to swallow him right then and there. evie, on the other hand, couldn't get what she saw out of her mind. how hot chris looked with his face contorted in absolute pleasure, and all to the thought of her. she couldn't help but wish that she was the one actually pleasing him, rather than just the thought of her.

after a few minutes, the door opens and chris slowly walks out. he barely even looks at her, his eyes trained to the floor. evie couldn't look away though.

"i'm so sorry." he whispers, unable to meet her eyes. "i shouldn't have been doing that with you here, let alone thinking about you while doing it."

he was extremely embarrassed and he hated how awkward he felt. since he couldn't even look at her, he didn't see that she wasn't bothered one bit.

"you don't have to apologize." she responds. "everyone does it. masturbate i mean, everyone masturbates. to whatever, not like to me."

she felt stupid because she sounded like an idiot, spewing those couple sentences out. however, chris finally looked up at her.

he frowned, "i'm seriously sorry. i wanted you to come over because i've just been having a weird day and i've been stressed and i don't even know. then i seen you bend over in that towel and i just.. i'm sorry, i get if i made you uncomfortable. if you want to leave, i understand."

"chris, honestly, it's okay." she says, biting her cheek. "it was actually pretty hot."

she definitely didn't mean to spill that last statement, but she didn't regret it. chris' head snapped up at her, his eyes wide.

"r-really?"

"mhm." she finds herself grinning, "i was actually a little disappointed you didn't just ask me to help you."

"you would do that?"

she only nods.

chris sheepishly rubs the back of his neck, "um.. is it-uh.. is it too late to ask?"

she didn't say a word, she just got up and slowly walked towards him. he was really nervous and super tense, she could see it all over him. her hands slowly trailed up his bare chest, finding their way to the nape of his neck and played with his hair. she looked him in the eyes, just admiring the way he looked in front of her. his cheeks were washed over with a pink tone, his eyes flickering all over her face as he tried to read her expression. his fingers toyed with one another as anxiety built in the pit of his stomach. and yet, he was still stiff downstairs.

without another thought, her hand made its way to his shaft and gently grabbed him through his boxers. a barely audible gasp left his lips, not expecting this in the slightest.

"do you want me to make you feel good?" she whispered, palming his rock hard dick.

he frantically nods, wanting nothing more than exactly that. evie bends down just a little bit, and trails her tongue from his v line and up his chest, moving onto his neck.

"use your words, baby. do. you. want. me. to. make. you. feel. good?" she repeats, leaving wet kisses along his neck between every word.

at this point, chris was harder than he's ever been in his life, it was almost painful. evie could feel him throbbing in her hand and it made her super wet.

"god," chris lets out a moan as she continues to palm him and kiss all over his neck. "p-please. i want you s-so bad. i want you to m-make me feel good."

after those words fell from his lips, evie grabbed his face with both hands and smashed her lips against his. him being sexually vulnerable and submissive with her and overall looking so good right now, she was extremely turned on. on top of that, she could feel his hard dick pressing right below her stomach. chris kissed her back with so much heat and lust, already feeling the stress from today dissipate. their tongues battled for dominance, swapping spit in sexual hunger.

evie pulled him with her, towards the bed, not removing their lips once. she sucked his tongue and pulled away, slightly dragging his bottom lip between her teeth. a whimper escaped chris' lips and he tightened his grip on her waist. as her hands travel to his boxers, she pauses and looks up at him.

"if we do this, it won't jeopardize our friendship right? because i don't want to lose my best friend.

chris immediately shakes his head, "i don't want to lose you either. it won't be weird or awkward, we'll be fine."

she looks into his eyes, and although his pupils are dilated and irises are 10 times darker than usual, she can see he's being sincere. with that, she loops her fingers into his boxers and pulls them down to his ankles. his fully hard dick springs out, slapping against his stomach. he was big, really big.

evie drops to her knees, holding eye contact with him. she placed one hand on his thigh while the other grabbed his dick. it was already dripping precum so she licked the tip soft and slow to taste him. chris immediately let out a moan and his hands found their way into her soft hair. she grinned at his reaction and continued to lick up and down his shaft before taking all of him into her mouth, until he was hitting the back of her throat.

"oh fuck." chris moans out, his hips bucking into her.

she continues bobbing her head up and down, hollowing her cheeks and sucking hard to give him the most pleasure. she sucked even harder around the tip, knowing he was sensitive. every time she pulled away to slightly catch her breath, she would use her hand to jerk him off while licking the slit. chris' grip in her hair was tight and he was fighting the urge to hold her head and fuck her throat.

however, evie then started deep throating his entire dick, fast and hard, gagging every so often. chris couldn't contain his moans or the involuntary thrusts his hips made. he was so close to cumming and evie knew that, so she pulled away.

"no." chris whined, "i was so close."

"i know, baby. that's the point." she smirked at him, returning to her feet.

he looked so flustered. his hair was slightly damp and his forehead a sheer layer of sweat. his cheeks were bright red and he was panting, trying to catch his breath. it was definitely a sight to see. if evie was being honest, she wanted to have him like this every day.

she softly pushed him onto the bed, his back meeting the sheets as he stared at up her. his eyes were wide and he looked at her in anticipation.

"do you want to fuck me?" she boldly asks.

chris' eyes widened more, if that were possible. he didn't expect anything to happen between them, let alone sex. and the fact that she abruptly asked him, threw him off, but he was not complaining.

again, he only nods, frantically.

"your words, baby." she teased.

"i-i do. i want to fuck you so bad. i want to feel your warm pussy around my dick. i-i want you moaning my name. i want to make you cum all over me."

his response surprised both of them, neither expecting those words to fall out. in all honesty, it turned evie on even more than she already was. she then removed the shirt of chris' that she was wearing, along with the boxers she put on. chris couldn't help but stare at her naked body, he wanted his hands all over it.

evie proceeded to crawl on top of him, her heat placed directly on top of his hard on. he could feel her arousal dripping onto him and it made his dick twitch, wanting to pound into her wet warmth. she leaned forward and connected their lips again, in a rushed and longing kiss. she loved the way he kissed her, it was just so hot.

chris hands were roaming her body, settling on her boobs for a moment. he broke their kiss and took one into his mouth, sucking and biting on her nipple. it caused a couple of soft moans to fall from her lips, encouraging him even more. he continued to switch back and forth from both boobs, before his hands went lower. they went around to her ass, squeezing and parting her cheeks as he bucked his hips, his dick brushing against her holes.

she was so wet, it was the perfect lubrication for him to do whatever he wanted. but he was waiting for her cue. he was oddly submissive to her. not so much but he was definitely letting her take the lead.

after waiting long enough, evie slightly lifted off of him and grabbed his dick to line it up with her entrance. she looked him into his eyes, unsure of what she was looking for, but everything she seen, finally made her slowly sink down onto him. both of them let out low moans, him filling her up perfectly. it was a tight fit, but it felt so good to both of them. he was hard, she was soft, both of them emitting heat, and her lubricating them. it was the perfect mix, and chris would be lying if he said he didn't just almost cum at the feeling of her, especially after she edged him.

evie started off slow, only grinding into him. yet, it still caused them both immense pleasure. she, soon, picked up the pace, bouncing up and down on his dick while he had his hands on her waist, guiding her. the two were letting out pleasurable sounds, and she was loving the fact that he wasn't ashamed to be audible. it was such a turn on, especially because he sounded sexy. and the fact that it was her causing him pleasure, made her love it even more.

at times evie would slow down to find the strength to pick back up, chris couldn't help but continue thrusting, fucking her from below. neither minded it, both just enjoying the sensation one another gave each other.

"mm, you feel s-so good." chris moaned out, his head tossing back onto the pillows as he continued thrusting up into her.

"fuuck." she whimpered.

the feeling in evie's stomach tightened and she knew it was only a matter of time before she reached her climax. and from the way chris was almost shaking underneath her, she knew he was close too. she picked up and sank back down hard, causing him to jerk up and let out a loud moan. it was obvious he loved that, so she continued doing it. after only a few times doing that, chris' grip on her waist tightened and his legs were trembling.

"holy fuck." he groaned out with a heavy breath, "i'm about t-to cum."

"mmm, me too. cum in me, baby." she moaned in return.

not wasting another second, the both of them let out loud cries, releasing at the same time. his nut shot into her pussy as she came all over his dick. both of them in a state of euphoria, but evie didn't want to stop. he was making her feel so good and he was still hard, so she just kept going. both of them were obviously a lot more sensitive than before, so she knew it wouldn't take long for them to cum again.

once chris realized she didn't plan on stopping, he pulled her face down to his and captured her lips with his own. he kissed her so deeply, basically swallowing all the moans that escaped from her. he parted from her and gripped her torso, pulling her body into his before fucking up into her. she was a moaning mess on top of him, practically screaming, and he was living for it.

without a word, both of them came again. evie let out an extremely loud moan, her face scrunched up in pleasure. chris couldn't help but stare at her, in awe of her beauty and the way she looked when she orgasmed. it was intense for both of them, as they struggled to catch their breath. chris was damn near whimpering underneath her, still slowly fucking into her as they rode out their highs.

chris starts, "that was-"

"amazing." she finished for him, "hands down the best orgasm i've ever had."

he stares up at her, nodding in agreement. he licks his lips and swallows deeply, trying to find the courage to speak his mind. sure, they just had great sex, but he wasn't sure what it was for her.

"um.. is this just a one time thing?" he finally asks.

she pulls off of him, collapsing right next to him, before asking, "did you want it to be?"

"honestly?" he asks her, them locking eyes. "no. i want to be able to fuck you whenever, wherever."

a wide grin pulls to her lips, and she just leans forward and places them on his. it was a short and sweet kiss.

"chris, baby. after that, you can have me anywhere, anyway."

the two burst into giggles, chris pulling her into a hug as he peppered kisses all over her face.

"come on, let's get cleaned up."

--

a/n : next is chris requesttt, just couldn't keep my bestie waiting 🫶🏼 here’s #3 for you @flowerxbunnie

[sirludox]

please tell me all about your zosan pony verse i love them!

Oh my god it would be an honour! I'll start off by mentioning that the reason I chose Sanji as a pegasus was I see his more flamboyant personality fitting that better and i just could not imagine a horse wielding 3 swords without some sort of help so I tinkered how unicorn magic works slightly with it being more closely related to mental and physical strength rather than just being a sort of cheat code haha! Also it was fun imagining a more brutish unicorn compared to the usual elegance of one! Zoro did in fact lose his horn with his first meeting of Mihawk! I was debating making him lose it when he lost his eye but I felt like him dedicating himself even more to training and meditation to make up for what he's lost fit better with it occurring much earlier on than randomly off screen like his eye. Sanji also witnessing him lose his horn yet still declare his loyalty and never losing a fight again would push Sanji to join the crew since he cant fly Sanji, like I said, can't fly mostly related to a) the deformed genes from the poison and b) his wings were bound down when he was a kid by Judge while he was imprisoned much like how he had the helmet on. While their growth wasn't affected, having no prior training on top of the messed up genes means as much as he can do with "flying" is gliding off of tall places or high up but even then that's limited. His "sky walk" is still done with his legs like in the original, so while he can technically "fly", he can't feel the wind between his wings like he normally should for having wings and so he often enjoys spreading his wings out on windy days to ease the desire of "freedom"! He uses his wings primarily as he would hands now, using them to carry food and dishes out and express emotions with them, and absolutely hates having them constricted (it begins to freak him out slightly). Sanji then learnt to use his legs (mostly his back ones) for fighting from Zeff (whom im still debating lost a leg or a wing) and the rest is history! These two still bicker and are the exact same as they are in the original, just with the bonus addition of them bonding over them missing their core "features" of their kind, a broken horn and useless wings. They never ever bring these aspects up in a way to offend/insult the other, as they know they're both rather sensitive topics, but they both use what they've lost to their advantage and dont let any of it hold them back Some more unique quirks they have now are:

Sanji preens/grooms his feathers a LOT and takes a lot of care with them. These days (20's), he's allowed Zoro to preen him when he can't from injuries, and Zoro is good with it/surprisingly gentle after learning from Kuina

Unicorns usually rub/touch horns gently in a comforting manner between family or extremely close (wink wink) others, and butting heads/clashing is more aggressive (which is why zosan often bump heads when arguing). As a trade off for the preening Sanji will often gently touch his head to Zoro's as thanks, or when he's in a particularly bad spot (be it physically or mentally) as a way to comfort him without words being needed to be said. Sanji doesn't know the more romantic connotations of it <3

Sanji tends to "fluff up" during preening as subconsciously finding it extremely relaxing and pleasing and Zoro pokes fun at him for it a little but not too much to avoid scaring him away

40 year old Zosan here has Sanji much more comfortable asking Zoro for a preen or "demanding for it" and Zoro finds it "so annoying" but does it anyway (theyre grossly in love)

Sanji will tease Zoro for being so "brute" as a unicorn, and Zoro teases Sanji for being a "dumb peacock"

Sorry for so much of a ramble haha they're just so much fun to work with, and included a couple sketches to kind of go along with things and explore other characters! If you (or anyone) has any other questions I'll be happy to answer ❤️ (sorry if some of this doesnt make sense haha)