#but when i have talked to people it's just felt fine and normal and natural while usually it feels anything BUT that

[silasbug]

i've been feeling a little weird lately. not quite real. reality seems fuzzy.

my head, ah. it feels like it's been stuffed into a pillow. everything is soft and muffled in this strangely oppressive (but comforting) way.

i keep having this thought that "i've been such a different person lately". i think i have. i've.. not quite felt like me. it feels off. it feels strange. but in a good way.

it feels like i'm gently floating along a river and, despite the usual pitfalls of depression (a snag of a branch or the nibble of a fish), it's felt fine.

the water is luke warm and normally i would be shivering, but i am too tired to shiver. it's that point where your body stops convulsing and gently eases into the cold. where you're glad that it stops trembling, because it became exhausting.

i just keep noticing it. (the change). i'm painfully aware of it sitting on the edge of my consciousness. it's gently waving at me. it doesn't feel malicious, but it feels out of place. (thinking about it in tangible terms like a being helps).

i feel light in the way that i feel when i no longer care about something. when i can let it go. send it off into the fog. let it fade. that sounds positive, but it's just been nothing. neither good nor bad. it's indifference.

and maybe there are some things i have stopped caring about, or have finally (subconsciously) decided to just leave and accept. "it is what it is". and for once, it just is.

the.. ache that usually accompanies that statement isn't there. it's not the *sighs hopelessly, wishing it could be different*.

i reckon i'm not making sense but my thoughts rarely do and i don't care. my brain is tired and i think it's done thinking. it's acknowledged that it is done thinking.

it's allowing for a strange sort peace. i feel calm. i wouldn't exactly call it content (but isn't it content, in a way? it is), but it feels like i could fall off the face of the earth right now and be fine. be okay. or feel nothing at all.

i could.. become a drop of water and join the puddle as a whole.

i'm buried beneath the leaves and i am happy to stay here.

it's closure.

i don't know why it feels that way or what caused this and i'm sure it'll stop feeling that way soon (hello darkness, my old friend, anyone?), but this is.. fine. for now. it's.. ah. certainly better than the alternative.

i'm sure the need and the will to struggle will arise again once the anxiety and the fear settle back in, but it could stay like this for all i care.

and i think i just realized that maybe i've just been basking in the feeling of fear leaving my body for the first time.

it's literally felt like i've been able to dislodge the metaphorical fear-stick that is constantly up my ass. just a little.

who knew not feeling afraid for once would feel like a dream? like unreality? all soft and fuzzy.

it'll be back something fierce. be nicer if it didn't.

i'd even give it a kiss goodbye if that meant it would leave me be.

anyways.

[luveline]

Hiii!! Could I request a bombshell reader x Spencer where someone (a local police maybe) says something rude to her about her appearance or something and normally it doesn’t really get to her, but something snaps and she kinda shuts down/is rude to Spencer until he coaxes it out of her? Sorry it’s long I had an idea and ran w it loollll

ty for requesting angel! confident fem!reader, 1k

Spencer shouldn’t expect his colleague to hold his hand, especially one so confident. What sense would that make, a woman as established as you are, who smiles without a lick of worry nor smugness, wanting to hold his hand? 

But you do it all the time, is the thing. In the car on the way to crime scenes, in the hallways of the office, under the round table. It started as a tethering for his distractedness, when one day he’d wanted to talk but hadn’t had the presence of mind to walk at the same time, so you’d taken his hand and led him to the office. You’ve been taking it at your discretion ever since.  

Spencer knows something is wrong —you haven’t tried to hold his hand all day. And even if you aren’t interested in him romantically, Spencer has come to crave the touch. He’ll accept platonic hand holding. Anything, really. 

“You’re staring very deeply, Dr. Reid,” you mutter, shades from your usual lightness. 

“I’m thinking.” 

“Aren’t you always?” 

“About you.”

“Well,” you smile fleetingly. “You should always be thinking about me.” 

“You’re truly humble.” 

His joke doesn’t land, it crashes and burns; your smile fades completely into a short, sharp line. Your gaze moves back into the restaurant, waiting for the team's food order in silence once again. 

Spencer’s pinky finger twitches across the gap. 

“Is everything okay?” he asks. 

“Fine.” 

You stay quiet, Spencer worries. He takes the bags before you can when they bring your food to the collection desk, two lumps of heat he holds to his thighs as you begin the walk back to the hotel. Tonight, the team will pick at their food together and rehash the same arguments they’ve been making all day, filling in each other's gaps, and tomorrow the work will start again. He can’t have you this unhappy again tomorrow. 

“You’re amazing,” he says, watching you turn to him from the corner of his eye, “you know you are, we all do, everyone who meets you. I know you don’t need me to tell you that, or to feel better, but… I’m here for you. If you want to talk. It’s been a hard couple of days, and talking about traumatic events as they happen and directly afterward make them easier to recover from.” 

“I’m not traumatised.” 

“Upsetting,” he corrects. “Having a shoulder to cry on is good for you, and I can be that shoulder. You know, if you need me to be.” 

He can’t know this in the moment, though maybe one day you’ll tell him, further down the line when the hand holding is better defined, but you look at him and you love him. To know Spencer is to love him. Or at least that’s how you’ve always felt. You’d love to cry on his shoulder about what transpired that morning if it weren’t embarrassing to think about, you’re upset over a throwaway comment made by nobody important. 

Spencer offers his company earnestly. He stammers. It’s amazingly sincere, as he usually is. He won’t mind if it’s embarrassing, he’ll just listen. 

You clear your throat. “I know I’m not to everyone’s taste. I know that the way I… present myself isn’t what most men like. People love confidence, but not when it’s bossy, not when it’s– when it’s vain. And I am vain. I think about my appearance a lot, I think I’m beautiful most of the time, I try so hard to have that be true.” You eye him thoughtfully. “Do you realise that?” 

He shakes his head gently, one ear toward one shoulder and then the other, as though balancing. “Sort of. I know you put effort into your appearance, but I also assume a lot of it to be natural.” 

“Right, well. It’s not natural. Not really. My natural beauty wouldn’t be all the beautiful to most people. And I’ve accepted that, I know what I like about myself, and–” You’re losing the thread of your point, an upset creeping into your melodic tone and turning it ragged. “When people tell me they don’t like how I look now, I guess it hurts because I know they wouldn’t like me before, either, and I feel defeated because I know I can’t win.” 

“Who said they don’t like how you look?” Spencer asks, confused, on his way to annoyed. 

“Officer Friendly.” You look to your shoes, watching the steps you take. “Guess he wasn’t as nice as we thought.” 

“What did he say to you?” 

You shrug. “Same story. He doesn’t like girls who wear makeup. Doesn’t like uppity women.” 

“Did he call you that?” 

“What are you gonna do if he did?” you ask without malice. 

“Morgan’s teaching me self defence for a reason.” You smile at his light joke, though it doesn’t last. He transfers the takeout bags into one hand, the other held out to you, his fingers sliding down your arm to your wrist. “You know you’re beautiful, with or without makeup. And you’re not uppity, you’re out of his league. There’s a difference.” 

“You’re flirting with me.” 

“No.” He wishes he had the wherewithal sometimes, but this isn’t flirting. “I’m being honest with you. Men like that don’t like you because they know they’ll never, ever have you, or anyone like you. There isn’t anyone like you,” he adds, sliding his hand into yours. 

He squeezes all your fingers together twice in quick succession. 

“Don’t let a jealous chauvinist halfwit make you think you’re not good enough,” he says. 

You curl your fingers around his before he can take his hand back. Slowly, you squeeze his hand. Then, smiling, you let him go. 

“I’ve never heard you say something mean like that,” you say. “Halfwit. That’s crass.” 

“I was going to say he’s an asshole, if that’s better.” 

Your laugh echoes off of the sidewalk. “That’s perfect. Say something meaner.” 

The insult he uses next doesn’t bear repeating. 

[argentconflagration]

when the subject of "why do people believe things that are seriously wrong and harmful" comes up it feels like you kinda hear one of two perspectives:

"oh, that's easy! it's because they're fundamentally Bad people who want to hurt others and choose their beliefs to justify that! :) hope this helps"

or

"they just don't have access to the same information we do. look at this person who was raised in a cult! don't you feel sorry for her?"

and like, yes, fine, some people were in fact raised in cults, but what i wish people would understand is that the bulk of it is just normal human flaws, like:

they want to believe stuff that makes them feel smart and cool and like they've figured everything out (you also do this)

they want to believe stuff that makes them feel like their emotions are justified and grounded in reality, and that the people they want to hurt deserve to be hurt (you also do this)

they form conclusions before they've processed all the relevant information, and cling to that first impression even when new info comes to light (you also do this)

they pick up beliefs from the people around them because they want to be liked and fit in, not because the beliefs are good or true (you also do this)

they come up with reasons that the stuff that benefits them (and the people they like and identify with) is actually overwhelmingly best for everyone and obviously the right thing to do (you also do this)

they pay more attention to stuff that supports what they already believe and avoid looking in places that might show them otherwise (you also do this)

they listen to people who talk like 'one of them' and ignore others (you also do this)

they come up with reasons to dismiss people with conflicting viewpoints as obviously in bad faith or ignorant or a shill or evil (you also do this)

they fail to take their own beliefs seriously sometimes, and take their beliefs way too seriously other times, in a selective way that lets them do the things they already wanted to do (you also do this)

the very ways they construct the ideas of 'knowledge' and 'wisdom' and 'belief' and 'understanding' are biased so that what they don't want to believe comes under lots of scrutiny and what they do want to believe receives less (you also do this)

you, dear reader, are presumably right about everything and were correct to die on every hill you've ever died on, but the difference between you and someone who's wrong about important stuff doesn't look like "well they're inherently evil and i'm not", it probably looks like a combination of:

natural environment (they would have been exposed to different information than you regardless of their choices)

being in the right place at the right time (your particular profile of flaws and virtues happened to be what was needed to lead you to the right conclusions, they had the opposite experience)

random luck (you doubled down on what felt right to believe but wasn't, but it turned out to be inconsequential, or even right for different reasons, while they doubled down on what turned out to be a horrible mistake distorting their entire worldview)

you do less of the things in the previous list, and over time the difference between you and them adds up

and, look, i also do these things. the nicest and most thoughtful people i've ever met do these things. if you meet someone who never does any of these things, i dunno, give them a fucking medal or something.

i know you're doing your best. we're all doing our best.

[tbko111]

Wolf in Sheep's Clothing

⊱ contents: yuta x fem reader, smut, noncon/dubcon, yandere, delusion, obsession, masturbation, stalking, virginity loss, mind break, creampie, manipulation, ⊱ wc: 2.6k ⊱ synopsis: There was just something about your friend Yuta that slowly urged you to let your guard down. Maybe it was his gentle nature, or his softspoken voice. Either way, you trusted him into your dorm room.

Yuta has spent years of his life shying away from intimacy. Inevitably he has masturbated at times, but was never big on it. Once he entered high school – festering with amorous teenagers, he still didn’t give it much mind.

That was until he met you.

It started off small. Being quiet, people would find you hard to approach, but Yuta felt otherwise.

"You dropped this." you muttered, holding out an eraser. Yuta blinked for a moment, surprised to hear your voice for the first time. It was like honey – easy on the ears. It even made him wonder why you don’t talk more.

"Oh, thank you." he smiled.

You awkwardly smiled back. It was his first time getting a clear look at you, and he thought about it for the rest of the day. He only thought you were kind of pretty, nothing more. Or so he told himself; he was too convinced he wouldn't find love again.

But the two of you surprisingly shared a lot in common, easing into conversations over time. It started as a normal friendship, but love waits for no one, and he couldn't help but start to admire your every detail. Your every move, every habit, every word… so thoughtful and reserved. It was tantalizing. Only to this point you felt similarly, thinking he was intimidating at first but putting your guard down at his unexpectedly sweet and sensitive personality.

It was spring, just the right amount of breezy and students abustle over the romance in the air. You had known Yuta for quite some time now, being comfortable enough to give gifts - albeit not too forward.

After school, you remain seated as your classmates race eachother to the exit. Yuta takes note of this and stays back as well.

"Are you not going?"

You fidget, then reach into your bag.

"Here, you can have this." you held out a small box of cookies. Adorned with small flowers to complement the season. He stared for a moment before accepting it.

"You remembered my birthday?" Yuta beamed, touched. 

"Um... I just made too much yesterday." you chuckle, not daring to make eye contact. But he knew it was no coincidence. It was singlehandedly the best cookies he's had in his life, and he later lost sleep recalling your abashed face.

The more he got to know you, the stronger his feelings got. He wanted to know more. To feel more. You would only offer small joking pokes, or touch him accidentally which were always followed by apologies. He would calm his beating heart secretly wishing you wouldn't pull back all the time.

In the dead of summer, the two of you sat in front of a convenience store. Licking your ice cream carefully, you looked to the side to see Yuta blush and turn away. You suddenly grow embarrassed of the display, and cover your mouth.

"You want some too? I have change." you glance at him gingerly, trying to ease the air.

"What? Oh. No, I'm fine." Yuta lets air in through his collar, quickly looking away again. Something tells you he's not this worked up from the weather.

That night he touched himself for the first time in ages.

"Hahh... Y/n... Y/n... Y/n..." 

Yuta mumbles to himself, twitching at his own touch. He rubs his length up and down with thoughts of you playing in his head like a movie. Your gaze, your voice, your everything, how you'd look so pretty with your lips wrapped around his cock, and how you'd look when he finally gets to fuck you and see your face melt into a pleasured mess, all for him.

"Fuck..." he inhales, climaxing at the thought.

Eventually, unable to get his mind off of you, he would steal small belongings as mementos of you, even touching himself with your handkerchief. It felt like a crime. This is wrong. I'm sick. He tried to tell himself, but as if in withdrawal from a drug, he'd cave into ogling you at every chance. No girl has made him feel this way before.

Pleasure finally overtook his guilt over fantasizing such vile things. He'd follow you at night "Just to make sure you're safe", and always keep an eye on you. He didn't have to worry about seeming creepy to you; he was all too good at putting up a front. To the point you only ever saw him as a kind friend, nothing more.

You've grown a soft spot for him and he didn't mind taking advantage of it. Yuta had always been nothing short of generous, but even he had his limits. Especially when it came to such an insatiable need.

By the time you trusted him, your every kind gesture became an indicator that you must like him back, justifying everything under that pretense.

It was winter before you knew it – roughly a year since you've met Yuta. You offered to do homework at your dorm room, and his pulse nearly stopped at the suggestion. He tried to sound casual, agreeing a little too quick.

"Come in, there's not much to see, but..." you welcome him in, taking off your shoes. He breathes in, almost going lightheaded from how your scent surrounds him.

You take off your coat, then your school blazer, the dress shirt framing your figure with more definition making him gulp and turn away.

Unloading your things and settling down, you help eachother with questions within the warmth of your room. There's about an hour of silent working – though it takes everything in Yuta to focus, until you stretch and groan complaining about the workload. One joke here and there turns into full procrastination as the two of you laugh quietly at trivial conversations.

At one point, you gently slap him on the arm, snapping what remained of his self-restraint. The giggles die down, and coming to your senses you find Yuta eyeing you shyly.

"Y/n..."

"Hm?"

The room is falling dark. You hadn't bothered to turn on the lights, and the daylight was beginning to fade away.

He leans in, making you pull away just slightly. But he won't let you do that this time. You were so cute that rational thought was flying out the window. All he knew was that you both wanted this.

He swallows, then snakes his hand up the back of your head, leaning in until your lips meet. For a moment you’re resistless, frozen in shock. Soon you’re quick to push him away, feeling your face burning up.

“Wait, Yuta, I didn't know y-”

Yuta finds your shocked face cute, but soon grows impatient and coaxes you back with a groan. He might just die if he keeps his hands off for any longer.

"If you really don’t want it, you can bite my tongue." he breathes, not even giving you room to respond. He knows you wouldn't, anyway.

He starts off with a small kiss. Running one hand down your arm with the other caressing the side of your head. You gasp, allowing him to slide his tongue in – desperate to taste you. The wet sounds make your head reel, but of course you don't bite. Despite being reluctant, you can't bring yourself to hurt him. You only groan softly, and feel Yuta purr into you like he’s in heaven.

He keeps you in place with an alarming amount of authority. The kiss grows hot and sloppy. It’s hard to think as he lifts you with surprising ease and lays you on your bed - conveniently close to your floor desk due to lack of space. He finds his way atop of you, one knee resting comfortably between your legs. You try to push away for air, and he lets you, only to start kissing your neck and down.

“Ah… Yuta, what-” your voice wobbles.

He shifts to loom over you completely, breathing erratic and needy. He continues to leave marks, feeling your body as if dying to memorize it by touch. Despite every alarm in your head going off, you don't want to believe that Yuta is a threat.

The affirmation is cut short when you jolt at the feeling of him unbuttoning your top.

“W- Wait!”

Yuta had held back for too long. He's been nothing but good to you. He deserved this – you deserved this. Having none of you was endurable, but just a taste was never going to be enough. All he got from your protests was that you were just shy. How cute.

“I’m sorry, I need you. I’ll make you feel good, I promise…” he’s murmuring, telling himself that more than anything.

He opens your shirt delicately, revealing your bra, and your arms fly up to cover yourself.

He steadily casts them aside to awe at your figure. His gaze lingers for uncomfortably long with bated breath.

“You’re so…” he trails off, lovestruck.

Your eyes meet his, and you can't help but look away. You've never let anyone see you so vulnerable before. He dips his head down to continue tasting your neck, and you feel him fumble to remove your bra. You tug at his clothes in place of asking him to stop, but it only tempts him more.

He finally removes it and puts it aside, shaking slightly at the sensation of your bare breast. Starting off with just his fingertips, he grows greedy and kneads them, carefully, as if you’re made out of glass. He’s nice as always – misleadingly so. You groan and pull your legs together as he teases your nipple, and grabbing his wrist with your weakened arms proves useless. 

His hand travels down your body, each touch torturously tender.

A finger hooks on your now semi-unzipped skirt and stockings, undressing you like you're a precious gift. Yuta timidly runs his fingers over your panties, a grin creeping on his face at the dampness.

You feel your heart drop as you sense him undoing his pants. You look down with wide eyes to see him pull out his length. Being inexperienced, just the thought of that entering sent a foreboding chill down your spine.

“No...” You're too scared to even raise your voice.

Yuta sighs shakily, face flushed.

“Stop being such a tease. You’re killing me…”

His rough yet pretty hand pulls down your garments slowly, making you attempt to draw your thighs together at the sudden airflow.

He lines himself up to your entrance, and you curse yourself for being wet. You try to shrink back, but gasp when he holds you by the waist, lifting you slightly for better access. His tip pokes your slit, making you shudder and stifle a sob. Even now, you can’t bring yourself to slap him, or scream.

Yuta isn’t a bad person.

You shake your head, hands firm on his arms to no avail.

He marvels at the sight, in a trance.

“I’ll be gentle.”

“No, Yuta, don’t-!”

You cut yourself off with a guttural shriek as he forces himself in, inch by inch. You gasp for air as you claw at your sheets fruitlessly.

He takes a moment to settle, groaning as your muscles contract frantically.

“Ahh… oh, god, you feel even better than I thought…” Yuta tilts his head back, screwing his eyes shut in bliss.

To your dismay his cock goes even deeper, until you can feel him in your stomach. You gasp for air, moaning pathetically as every nerve screams for help.

"Mngh, no, i- it hurts-"

Yuta groans, getting even more turned on.

The pretty sight of you twitching around him alone threatened to make him cum right then and there.

"It's okay. I'll go slow..."

He starts moving, painstakingly slow. Somehow, him being so gentle is worse than being forceful. You’re left with no choice but to fully suffer through every little sensation.

Even as he goes at a leisurely pace, you can't help but fight back tears. It's also torturous for him, but for different reasons. He cares about you too much to fuck you as brutally as he'd like.

There are only timid movements for a long while, until he gradually picks up speed, and your legs are on the verge of giving up already.

"You're so pretty." He mumbles.

You cover your face, unable to answer. Your lip is bitten to suppress shameful noises, but the crude fill in your stomach makes your jaw weaken.

Your mouth hangs open, and soon the room fills with lewd noises as he continues to shower you with affection. He babbles barely coherent compliments, kissing your neck. He winces slightly at your tightness, clenching around him with all your life.

“Relax for me.”

You sputter into your arms. You're a moaning, flinchy mess and your legs shake like a leaf as he loses himself in you – slowly going faster and harder.

"...Let me see your face."

You groan, unrelenting, but the way his eyes bore into you has you complying meekly. He leers, pleased with the display.

"Look at you… you love me. You take me so well."

His familiar smile almost convinces you that nothing is wrong.

"Say it. I wanna hear it from you."

He bucks his hips in deep, going almost fully in and out, earning violent twitches followed by helpless moans. It's music to his ears.

As you very slowly ease into the feeling, what remained of your fighting spirit diminishes as his cock fills you just too right, involuntarily arching your back. Your sounds grow more harmonic as euphoria washes over your body.

He whispers breathily, pleading so weakly in spite of the power he has over you.

"Please?"

"I love you..." you drawl, barely words at all. Your once pained face is now melted in pleasure; pupils blown and eyes barely open.

Yuta smiles, sickly sweet.

"Good girl, I love you too. I love you so much. I'm yours..."

His dark eyes make you shudder as he looks at you - looking almost coy as if having his nervous first kiss and not fucking you into your own bed. You feel high as he continues to thrust into you using your waist as a handle. His kind voice and affectionate teasing with his thumbs contrasts all else.

Feeling every sense overstimulate, sinful moans freely escaping your mouth, you weakly reach out to hold him.

"Ahh, Yu..."

“You feel so good, I- fuck,”

Yuta curses under his breath – you never even thought he was capable. But neither did you of this whole situation.

You're no longer in control of what kind of vulgar face you may make. You feel burning ecstasy build up inside, until you’re dangerously close.

"Mngh- Yuta...! I can't, I..."

"Shh, I got you." 

His sweet voice hypnotizes you to relax, not even letting you register the gravity of him cumming inside. His breath hitches harshly and the grip on your waist tightens, as if to say you're not going anywhere.

Your eyes roll back, feeling him paint your walls white. You feel his cock so clearly, you're convinced you've memorized its shape. Your body shudders in pleasure and in that moment, you truly are convinced he's the love of your life.

“Ah… mmn… ugh,”

You lay twitching in place, small moans emitting as you breathe. You can hardly even remember where you are.

He stays inside for moments longer, savoring the moment. You tighten instinctively as he pulls out slowly with a cute smile plastered on his face.

“You’re amazing.'' He's breathless, either from the sex or breathtaken by you alone. He kisses you, stroking your hair lovingly.

And you can’t help but kiss back.

♡ ao3

[steviewashere]

Kiss and Tell

(Can be found on ao3)

Steddie WC: 2,279 Tags: Post Season 4, Steve Harrington Has Auditory Processing Disorder, Eddie Munson Loves to Talk, Minor Angst, Mostly Fluff, Queer Eddie Munson, Steve Harrington Has a Bisexual Awakening, But He Already Knows (Sort of), First Kiss, Lots of Kissing

Based on this post that I made. Happy reading! <3

-------- Steve has a staring problem. He knows this. He's been told this. And it's not something he can help or fix or find an alternative for. This is just what he knows.

It's something he's tried to maintain since he was a little boy. And, on that same note, is something he picked up while being a boy in a room with two adults who were fast talkers and big negotiators and all-in on the nature of their careers. But his parents certainly hate that he has a staring problem. Which, that's not unusual, most people hate that he does. Because he doesn't look them in the eyes for more than thirty seconds at a time. And even if he does, he doesn't hear a single thing they said, politely asking they start over, and feeling hurt when they just scoff as loud as possible and walk away from the conversation all together.

The audio just doesn't process. Never has. Probably never will.

He listens to music, but doesn't understand any meaning. He talks over the phone, but must have all other sound blocked out and the curtains shut and his eyes closed to imagine what the words look like leaving the other person's mouth. He argues, but loses track of the original point of the argument—when he laughs instead of apologizes.

And it would be fine—if—he wasn't close to losing his life every year. Where he has to listen to everybody and the important tiny details and the plans and the reasons for what they're doing. Which leads him to danger. Which gives him a bruised face. Which makes the listening even harder, once the concussion leaves and he's just got the leftover damage of his quirkiness.

It would be fine—if—he wasn't made to feel so stupid for what he must do. The jabs and the constant reminders and the...yeah, his sob story.

But there was Tommy Hagan and Carol Perkins, who he could keep up with. Because they'd talk about the same things over and over, until he could practically relay all the information, pulled straight from the deep crevices of his brain, and it ends up that they had forgotten, rather than him.

And there was Nancy Wheeler, who was polite enough to repeat things. Who had flash cards and a soft, focusing voice. It was easy to write off looking at her lips. "Eyes up here, Steve," she'd say. "Sorry," he'd respond sheepishly, "getting lost." And he'd chuckle and she'd giggle and then they'd kiss a little and he wouldn't be reminded that he's just a little weird. That, maybe, he just isn't normal.

Robin Buckley makes things easy-ish. She talks fast. And a lot. And she never looks him in the eyes, unless she's asking for a very serious favor, or he has something on his face, or she just feels the need (she claims it's that she hasn't looked in a while, but he shrugs her off every time). (If he can get away with staring at her lips, then she can get away with never looking him in the eyes.) He's mentioned, though, that he has a hard time following her sometimes. That he needs the words repeated a few times. Explained the lip thing, with a tense voice and a quake in his chest and his fingers tapping at the sides of his thighs. And, for a brief moment, he had felt like a creep. Like one of those weirdos that preys on the idea of women kissing. And he wanted to open up Family Video's register, shove his head inside, and sort himself out into the container of fives. But she shrugged, said "Okay," and went back on some ramble, to which he was immediately drawn to her mouth. And saw her repeat the name, Vickie, at least twenty times. He grinned and then when the store was empty, he leaned across the counter and teasingly said, "You have a big fat crush on Vickie, don't you?" To say that he was proud of her sputtering is an understatement.

Now, Dustin and the others were harder to get through. Because they moved at their own pace. And they don't really stop to add him to the conversation. He gets it, to an extent. He knows that he's not really all that intrigued in what they enjoy. (Even if he really leans into the conversation when they mention Sherlock Holmes or Dracula or Star Wars or, even, Star Trek. And he pretends to not be interested in their science fair projects. Or the one time he caught them huddled around a Sports Illustrated, in which he fought the urge to chat their ears off about both baseball and basketball statistics.) But there's a point in the conversations where he's made to feel a little dumb; even if he was staring where they were speaking, but they always grow frustrated, a huff of air released, when they notice he's not "paying attention" (translation: looking them in the eyes. "Because, Steve, it's just talking etiquette!" Dustin had shouted once).

He loves all of them anyway. Even if he misses words. And he loses track of what they were saying. He just wishes they were a little bit more forgivable about it at the end of the day.

Then, Eddie Munson is walking along side him in an alternate universe. He's peeled the vest off his back and chucked it at Steve. And they're talking. Jealous of one another, but talking. But, Eddie's voice goes soft and quiet, his eyes pointing towards Nancy's back.

Steve is looking at Nancy, words fading into the background. And it's not a moment of realization. Or a moment of longing. Yearning, what say you. No—it's one of his moments in which he's "listening," but not processing. So he looks back. And for a mere second, Eddie's eyes are big where Steve stares. Big and wet and curious. Big and wet and persuasive. Big and wet and not at all his lips and Steve is still not listening.

But his lips. Well, Steve's seen lips. These are pretty. They're pink. Chapped and bitten and plush appearing. Mesmerizing. Stretching over Eddie's sharp teeth, exposing dimples and smile lines, making his recent stubble more noticeable than it's ever been before. But his lips are pretty.

Like girls lips, Steve muses. Not really taking in what that means. Because Eddie's saying something about true love. And—shit—okay. Steve can get behind an act of true love. He can get behind sharing denim and coating Eddie's clothes in blood and staring down his lips and—god, his eyes, Steve can't help but notice once more.

Eddie's like a vulnerable cow. With pretty lips, he has to point out. Or a baby deer. With such pretty lips. And he's talking and Steve's finally listening. But it's not just processing. No, Steve's intrigued, interested even. He tilts his head like a curious puppy. Leaning in. Eddie's breath ghosts the tip of his nose. And, sure, it's a little rank. But weirdly sweet. Warm where Steve is otherwise cold. Warm in places Steve's never considered to feel warm in, but he's willing to give in, to wrap up in whatever Eddie has to say. If it all means more of him.

So, it makes sense that after all that they go through, Steve finds himself in Eddie's orbit. As a friend. As a trauma bond. As everything Eddie needs him to be.

He sits on the Munson's couch. On the cushion that dips a little too low. The lights orange and dim and casting beautiful streaks of almost candle light on Eddie's soft, beautiful features. Highlighting where his nose is the most bulbous. His pronounced Cupid's bow. The outer edges of his irises, golden and honey against the off-white of his scleras.

Eddie talks like Robin does. Excited. A lot. Fast. But his voice is soft, focused on the information—like Nancy's. It's teasing, like Dustin's. Soft, though. So gentle. Murmured. Which makes sense, if Steve were to stop and think about it for just a moment. With how late it is. With the little amount of weed they smoked. And it all just fits, with how slow and careful Eddie's lips move. As if testing the words. As if searching for what he means.

But, god, Steve is following along. Of course he is. Hanging onto each one of Eddie's words.

"So, the cashier at the record store got all apprehensive about selling me this tape. Which, I guess makes sense because it's a special edition. Comes with a photo card or whatever, but like—Come on, y'know? If he wanted it so bad, he should'a bought it the moment it dropped. Not my fault he slacks on not just his job, but also his opportunities," Eddie rambles. And, that's right, he's complaining about the music store encounter he had today. Trying to buy some album for some band. Steve got lost part of the way through, so he's not sure who exactly Eddie was getting a tape for. The style of music. But he has most of the information. He just—

Has to squint harder.

So, Steve leans in. As casual as he possibly can. And narrows his eyes at Eddie's lips. The word pretty comes to mind again. Because of course it does. And he can't pull his eyes away, no matter how hard he tries. For some reason, the tips of his fingers tingle a little. Wanting to reach out. Trace his lower lip, right where it sticks out, just above the divot of his chin. Would it be soft, he asks himself. Does he wear chapstick? Steve sighs softly. I wish I could...taste it. His eyes widen, just the tiniest bit. But he ignores that in favor of whatever Eddie is saying. If only he could make it out. He leans impossibly closer.

And there it is again. The soft puffs of warm air. On the tip of his nose. His own lips. Tickling his stubble. Eddie's breath smells like weed and strawberry Tab; a little bit of Kraft macaroni and cheese. Maybe the smallest trace of pepper—

"Uh, Steve?" Eddie nervously calls out. But gets no response. Steve is only a couple inches away from his face. Eyes hooded. Glassy. Zeroed in on Eddie's lips. He's not talking. Doesn't even give a hum. Just...keeps staring.

Eddie sucks in a breath. Eyes darting over Steve's face. He doesn't talk again, hoping maybe Steve will stop. But, nope. In fact, the only thing Eddie gets as acknowledgement for the fact he's stopped talking, is that Steve pouts. Upset. As if his lips no longer moving is some great catastrophe to Steve, some tragedy, some misfortune.

And, Eddie, the awful wreck that he is, can only assume that this means one thing.

Steve wants a kiss. And is, maybe, too chicken shit to close the gap.

So, with no other option. And definitely not wanting to get away from the heated, stirring, calm mask of Steve's face—Eddie presses his mouth against Steve's. Hesitantly smushing their lips together. Dragging his lower lip against Steve's soft scowling one.

And he pulls away. Because Steve isn't doing anything in response.

No, in fact, Steve is extremely expressive now.

Wide eyes. Mouth opened into a silent "Oh." His cheeks are flushed. And as quick as it came upon him, whatever realization that was, fades. Like a cartoon character, Steve's face melts into one of pure infatuation. Mouth lilting. His posture slouching. Eyes going soft against the extreme red of his face.

"Do that again," Steve whispers.

Eddie obliges. And he obliges. And he keeps obliging until they're under a cool top sheet, skin slick with sweat and eyes piercing one another's mouths.

That's when, in the silent air of Eddie's tiny bedroom, Steve admits the greatest thing in the world. "I don't really process when people are talking unless I'm looking at their mouth. I have to read their lips. I didn't—I wasn't trying to kiss you at first, but—" And the motherfucker giggles. "If that's all it took..." Then he's kissing Eddie again. Like it's the last thing he'll ever get to do. And Eddie thinks, If I die from running out of breath doing this, then I've done everything in my life correctly.

So, sure, Steve has a huge staring problem. And he doesn't really listen. And it's something he'll never fix, even if there's a way to.

But he finds that his technique—the thing he's crafted since he was a little boy—no longer works. At least, not on Eddie. Because suddenly, looking at his gorgeous pink lips makes Steve only able to think about one thing: Kissing. And he can't follow along unless he fulfills that want.

Eddie could be in the middle of a deep, all inclusive description of his recent trap in the campaign he's crafting. He could be singing. He could be complaining about some movie he rented. But that doesn't matter. Because he stops talking the moment Steve leans in and kisses him. Kisses like he needs it to live.

And though he rolls his eyes. Huffs a breath. Smirks and barrels on. There's that giddiness, that love pooling in Eddie' heart. Just knowing the effect he has on Steve. And the way he's affected, too, when Steve just whispers, "Sorry, I got lost again. Start over?"

He obliges. And he keeps obliging. And his lips are usually swollen by the time he's finally done rambling.

Steve stares. Eddie talks. And it's the combination of a lifetime.

--------

❤️

[jinnie-ret]

cigarette duet

poly!stray kids x ninth member!reader

genre: angst, fluff at the end

content warnings: smoking, mentions of rehab, mentions of recovery

word count: 3k

summary: you get hounded by your boyfriends after they catch you smoking. how will they react when you disappear and go off the radar?

requested: @ihrtlix

It has been a while since I've written! I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get around to the requests for this event but I'm getting back into the swing of things! Hope you enjoy! Please don't take offense to any opinions presented in this imagine. Enjoy! And if you want to be tagged in anything I write please lemme know! <3

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MAIN MASTERLIST

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Perhaps you had smoked one too many cigarettes last night. Waking up the next morning after battling your stresses with the addictive feed of nicotine, your throat felt dry, hoarse, scratchy even.

"Baby, are you sure you're not sick?" Felix fussed, placing his hand delicately on your forehead to gain an idea of your temperature. "I mean, you don't feel hot, but maybe you're coming down with something?"

"I'm fine, love, just need some water," you kiss his hand that was pulling away from your face, offering a reassuring smile after clearing your throat.

And in your mind, that was enough. You didn't notice the little things that your boyfriends did however.

"Binnie, what are you doing? You look like a perv haha," Hyunjin giggled at the sight of Changbin rummaging through the laundry basket and sniffing your hoodie.

"Ssshhh, keep it down. And plus, it's not being pervy, people in relationships do it all the time. It's comforting smelling each other's clothing," Changbin righteously pointed out to his boyfriend, puffing his chest before adding, "well, normally it is..." he sighed.

"Woah that's mean, you can't say our girlfriend smells," Hyunjin pushed Changbin's shoulder, laughing again but with wide eyes this time round.

"No, no, you've got the wrong idea anyways. I think... I think Y/N's been smoking. I can smell it on her hoodie," Changbin sighed, tossing the white hoodie of yours back into the washing basket that was full to the brim. He was about to continue his spiel of conspiracies until he jumped when your arms wrapped around behind him.

"Aw, babe, are you doing the washing? Thank god for that, I was worried it would never get done," you squeezed him tightly once more before kissing him on the cheek and continuing your venture into the kitchen, Felix trailing behind you.

"I think she's getting sick, I'm gonna see if we have any meds in the cupboard, or some throat sweets at least," Felix pouted as he walked past his two boyfriends, Hyunjin ruffling his hair on the way.

Changbin threw a meaningful look at Hyunjin, alarms going off in his head because it only added more fuel to the blazing fire of thoughts in his head.

"Look, we don't know that she is smoking for sure. Maybe she's just been around some friends that are?" Hyunjin whispers hurriedly, yet this caught Seungmin's attention, and his ears too.

"Huh? What are you talking about?" Seungmin casually stood between the two, grabbing laundry detergent and capsules from the cupboard to act natural yet because practical at the same time.

"I'll explain later, to all of you. I'm just a bit concerned," Changbin sighed, rubbing his hand across his face before actually making a start on the chore at hand.

It was an escape for you, much like it was for other people who smoked cigarettes. And plus, you hadn't been doing it for long. You thought what could the harm be when you didn't do it a lot? Plus, it was handy that none of your boyfriends batted an eyelid in the studio when you said you wanted to go outside for some air. In fact, it gave the opportunity for Changbin to lay out his thoughts to the rest of your boyfriends who hadn't yet heard his observations.

"Y/N... I don't think she'd do that, I can't picture it," Jeongin shook his head, shaking his hands in confusion because the picture being painted in front of them seemed very unlikely and it wasn't a nice one to think of.

"And she knows it's too risky. First of all we're idols. I hate to say it but we have to think about that first in situations like these. Even when we're drinking we've got to be careful. If you're right about this, Binnie, then..." Chan groaned, leaning back into his seat with a huff.

"But she did just go out 'for some air'," Han added on, brows furrowed as he thought what Changbin was saying was quite plausible.

"Ok. We'll go check then," Minho shrugged as he stood.

"What?" Felix too stood up.

"We can't sit here and keep worrying. Let's go check and see for ourselves. If we're wrong... And I hope we are... Then it's fine," Minho grabbed his phone and shoved it into his pocket, scanning around the room for his boyfriends' reactions.

"And if we're not wrong, then what?" Hyunjin voiced his concerns.

"Let's just hope we're not," Chan was first to walk out the door, the rest of Stray Kids following along after him like ducklings and their mother. Apart from this time it wasn't the cute, adorable scene you'd hope for, especially because they could smell the smoke and see your lax figure as soon as they rounded the corner to the back of the building.

"No. Y/N you've got to be kidding me!" Chan snatched the cigarette out of your hand and immediately stomped it out.

"Chan I-" you fumbled on your words, eyes wide as you had all eight of your lovers stood in front of you. And the way they looked at you made you stomach twist into knots you were sure you'd never felt.

Disappointment. Anger. Concern. Indifference.

"Let's talk about this inside," Changbin wrapped an arm around your shoulder as he spoke quietly to you.

Your heart was racing faster. They were going to think the worst. But you had a way out of this. It wasn't even that bad. Sure, over the past month maybe you'd have been spending more money on packs of cigarettes, yet on the inside you felt as if there were worse things you could be doing to yourself.

"Sit," Minho bluntly said, face unreadable, tone void of emotion.

And so you did.

"We'll just have a conversation about this, nice and calm, ok?" Felix nudged Chan in particular with his leg.

It seemed however that it wasn't a conversation, but more of an intervention. A heated one, at that.

"I can't be nice and calm, Lix! Our girlfriend is destroying her body, and for what?" Chan's voice rose ever so slightly, hands squeezing the arms of the chair he was tensely sat in.

"It's just a cigarette," you feebly replied. That backbone of yours was slowly wearing away the more and more anger you felt radiating off of your partners.

"Don't be ridiculous," Seungmin scoffed, "think of the damage it's doing. Think about your career."

"It's more than just the odd cigarette, right?" Changbin prodded, wanting answers to the millions of questions he had. After all, he was the first one to notice how you gradually stopped voicing your concerns to him but still sometimes had the habits that showed your anxiety.

"Well, yes, but-" you began but were cut off.

"No buts. That's... It's, you're hurting yourself, hurting your lungs. Why are you doing this, baby?" Jeongin took your hand in his, concern not the only thing glistening in his eyes, which broke your heart.

"It's just a nice distraction, that's all. It won't go on forever, I'll just stop when I want to," you shrug your shoulders, squeezing his hand to show you meant what you said.

"It's not that easy. Nicotine. It's addictive. You think you can just stop like that?" Hyunjin frowned, shaking his head.

"I know I can," you firmly said, urging them with your voice to trust you.

"I don't know what planet you're living on," Chan shook his head.

"Channie..." Felix bit his lip, feeling torn. On one hand he didn't want your boyfriend to be so tough with you, but he also disagreed with the choices you made, the ones you were making.

"No I'm sorry but Y/N, babe, you've made one of the stupidest choices you could make! Seungminnie is right, Jeongin too. It's damaging for your body, let alone your career. You keep this up, you're not going to be able to sing as well as before. And then it'll get to the point where you can't breathe as well anymore," Chan ranted, fiddling with the bracelets adorning his wrist as he didn't take his eyes away from yours, not once.

"I just told you it's not going to go that far!" your face contorted to one of disbelief.

"That's out of your control," Minho sternly redirected your attention to him.

"Wow. It's like you don't even trust me. I'm not some kid. I can make my own decisions. So what if I'm doing this for a little bit of stress relief? For a bit of fun. It helps me," your voice almost turns to pleading, wanting them to hear you out, hear your reasoning.

"It hurts you, baby. And when it hurts you, it hurts us as well," Han bit his lip after shakily speaking up. He didn't like this situation, not one bit.

"I'm not doing it to hurt you. I'd never do that," your voice wobbled, throat feeling as if it was closing up from the sob that was lodged down there.

"Too late. I mean just look," Chan emptied your handbag, empty packets of cigarettes and some not, falling out onto the floor of the studio.

"Y/N, that's a lot," Hyunjin gasped, clutching a hand on his chest.

"It's not. It's not that bad..." you denied as you knelt on the floor and tidied up the mess.

"You're in complete denial," Seungmin rolled his eyes.

"I'm not! I'm well aware of my actions thank you very much!" you shouted suddenly, causing everyone to freeze at the volume you had just reached.

The guilt set in. It was never meant to go this far. It was just meant to be for stress relief. Something to distract you from the aches and pains, physical and mental. It wasn't long until you'd be performing a special fanmeeting and relearning old choreographies and a cover had you feeling like you were being worked down to the bone. Even iconic dances like God's Menu were hard to remember, and you felt like you had no chance. No choice. It was like it fell into your lap so easily.

The first time you had stood outside to catch some air, it was for that genuine reason. And you weren't alone. You didn't know if the person worked at your company, if you knew them, whatever. But their hand offering you something that could bring you temporary bliss was a solution you were grateful for. Only now, you were seeing that it was short term.

"You need help. Seriously..." Chan spat, grabbing his backpack and storming out of the studio.

"Find a way to end this, Y/Nnie," Felix mumbled, stroking your hair gently before following Chan out with a rush.

"You're all just going to go?" your voice cracked. Were they leaving you now?

"We just need some time," Changbin sighed. And then he was gone too.

"You're leaving me?" you sniffled, standing up to face your boyfriends that were still in the room.

"Not like that, baby. We're just giving you time to think about how you can stop this, ok?" Han stroked your face as he made sure you knew this wasn't the end. And then he left too, Minho, Hyunjin, Seungmin and Jeongin leaving too.

All alone. Perhaps it was what you deserved. You relied on the cigarettes more than your boyfriends. And they were all you had left for the moment. That was when it sank in. You had to make a change. You had to stop this habit form taking over your life, from pushing away the people you love most, and from taking your life away.

•••

"She's sorting herself out at least... that's got to be commendable."

"I guess so. Let's just hope it doesn't get out that a JYP idol is at rehab for smoking."

"It won't. And she's doing well from what I've heard..."

This was the only time Han was grateful for the staff gossiping. Immediately, he felt calmer. Considering the boys had spent the last few days blowing up your phone and worrying where you went, it was an oddly relieving feeling hearing you were at rehab. They had tried asking JYP himself, asking the manager of the company where you were but all they said was that you were safe.

"I know where she is!" Han bursted through the apartment door, slamming it shut behind him as he panted out of breath.

"Woah, woah, ok, deep breaths, let's sit down," Chan, with the darkest circles around his eyes yet, gently sat Han down on the sofa. He felt awful. He thought he had driven you away from them all. From the group. From the relationship. And that had been eating him up inside. It was a wonder he could act so calm with the news of you going into rehab.

"Rehab? For smoking? I didn't even know that was a thing," Seungmin hummed in thought, his arms crossed.

"I didn't either, but I overheard the staff. They say she's doing well. It's a good thing, right?" Han's eyes stared through the souls of everyone gathered in the lounge, begging for some sort of confirmation that things would get better.

"I mean, at least we're a bit more in the know then our own fans about why our girlfriend is on hiatus," Changbin brushed his fluffy, dark hair out of his eye.

"Can't we go and see her?" Felix wondered, lifting his head up from where it rested on Minho's shoulder.

"We shouldn't," Minho quietly sighed.

"Why not?" Jeongin quickly turned to him, mouth parted in shock that he didn't want to see Y/N.

"No, he's right. She's gone there for a reason. To get better. It's what we all said to her, isn't it? We'll see her soon. And when we do... It'll all be better," Chan helped everyone see sense. He was right. You had listened to them. You went and got help and were solving the problem. If they suddenly ambushed you and got in the way of that... You'd be back to square one.

•••

Today was the day, you were finally going back to the boys. You spent a good 3 weeks at rehab, and had been advised on some good coping mechanisms to take your mind off of smoking and how to create some healthier habits. You had shown good progress and it was deemed acceptable for you to leave and spend time back with your loved ones. And you couldn't lie, you were incredibly nervous. You had dropped a text without reading the spam that littered the groupchat, notifying your boyfriends what time you'd be returning, but after that you once again did not read anything else that was sent.

"Oh my baby, I've missed you so much," Han was the first one at the door, pressing kisses all over your face as he took you into his arms, holding you lightly.

"I've missed you too," you cried immediately, despite the weight off your shoulders.

"You're good now, right, darling?" Seungmin softly tugged you away from Han, both of his hands cupping your face whilst his thumbs wiped away your tears.

"I'm better," you nod through tears, Seungmin pressing a kiss to your head and giving space for your other boyfriends to soothe you and reunite with you. It had only been three weeks, yes, but 21 days had never felt so long.

"I'm proud of you, come here," Changbin scooped you into his arms and lifted you slightly, making you giggle before your feet touched the ground once more.

"Thank you... I'm sorry. I didn't realise what I had done... How far it went, you know?" you began, looking down at the floor as Hyunjin came and wrapped his arms around you from behind, his long arms securing you to him.

"We're just happy to see you here, honey, healthier," he whispered into your ear soothingly.

"And please talk to us in future. We had time to think after that, moment, and we know you were doing it as an escape. But we're here for you," Jeongin pecked you on the lips, your heads pressed against each other for a moment before he too moved away.

"Always, we're always here," Felix reiterated what Jeongin preached, and kisses you as well, noses rubbing against each other as he moved away, a cute expression on his face.

"Come here," Minho opened his arms, and you reluctantly left Hyunjin's arms only to be happy again in the warmth of your other boyfriend's embrace.

"Thank you for waiting, all of you," you swayed with him in his hug, until you pulled away and it was only Chan left.

He stood a few metres away, back to you, shoulders shaking ever so slightly.

"Channie... babe," you sighed, tugging his hand to turn him and face you. His words had hurt you the most but it was also a huge wake up call. "Please, look at me, I'm not mad. I'm so grateful."

"I was too harsh with you," he bit his lip, hard, not wanting to let any tears escape.

"I needed it. Look at me now, I'm here, I'm better, and I've got habits I can stick to instead. Ones that won't hurt me. And they won't hurt you guys either," you looked up at him, one hand running through the hair at the nape of his neck and the other cupping his face.

"I'm so glad you're back... We were worried... Lost without you," Chan admitted, staring up at the ceiling before kissing you deeply, expressing all the emotions he had held back whilst you were gone.

"It's all good now. Plus, you should all be proud of me-"

"We are proud of you, baby," Jeongin cut you off stroking your hair.

"Well, be even prouder because I know how to bake an amazing carrot cake if I say so myself," you laughed, sharing a new skill that had occupied your stress and been taught whilst you were away.

"You can bake with me now! Oh my gosh! It's a miracle!" Felix cheered, tugging you into the kitchen as the other boys chuckled from behind you both.

"I didn't think you meant this very second!"

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tagged: @skz-streamer @kiraisastay @hannahhbahng @kpopmenace143 @sakufilms @kailee08 @arloo00 @dunno-wut-to-do @splat00z @cheesemonky @his-angell @turtledove824 @2minstan @royal-shinigami @yangbbokari @skzoologist @crabrangoongirl25 @atinyniki @writingforstraykids @minholing @lilmisssona @astraysimp @lixie-phoria

[poorly-written-fiction]

taste || ex boyfriend!logan howlett x fem mutant!reader

A/N: SABRINA CARPENTER THE WOMAN YOU ARE! her song taste - which obviously inspired this fic - has never made me wish i was on speaking terms with some of my exes so i could have a "you'll just have to taste me when he's kissing you" moment. anyways, the desire for that fantasy birthed this fic! i'm also going to say right now, i'm not the biggest fan of jean grey but i do try not to be a jean grey hater. that being said, she is y/n's issue and that's fine, i promise she makes up for it in my other fics. i can't hate my fellow redhead. i do have a version of this fic where y/n is just a straight up hater to jean and it made me feel very internalized-misogyny'd and i felt gross. dialed it back a bit. this will be my only instance of disliking jean, i think she's fine otherwise. anyways, hope you all enjoy!

word count: 1500

tags: logan howlett x fem mutant!reader, no specific physical descriptions of y/n but she is very short (5 ft to be exact *wink wink*) ex boyfriend logan, y/n is also a teacher at xavier's, her mutation is partially inspired by starfire's ability to speak languages except y/n can do it on any physical contact not specifically kissing, so y/n is a foreign languages teacher, i was just excited and wrote this really fast so probably grammatical and flow errors i'm so sorry okay enjoy bye!

================================================

There would always be a part of you that was thankful that Charles had sent you off on a mission after you and Logan had broken up. The Professor had given you a job that he hoped would keep you distracted and give you an emotional reset - picking up young mutants all around the world who needed safety. Picking up the kids was your favorite work, you were a natural with them. Your mutation allowed you to pick up the languages of the people around you upon physical contact with them, making communicating a breeze. You would make the young mutants feel safe and comfortable, and once they were ready, Ororo or Scott would fly them back to New York. Several new children and two whole years later, you were finally finished with your assignment. The time away was refreshing and much needed, but there was a part of you deep down that did miss home. You were greeted with smiles and hugs the moment you walked through the door. Everyone was happy to see you. Well, almost everyone.

You quickly noticed that Logan and Jean were nowhere to be found when you arrived. You’d be lying if you said that there wasn’t a part of you that was happy, you wanted to adjust back to your normal life in peace, if possible. Scott had mentioned in passing that Logan and Jean had gotten back together, which made you more upset for Scott than yourself. You thanked your lucky stars that the new couple wasn’t around to greet you the first day you were home. The moment you saw the kids that you had picked up during your time away, any feeling other than joy and pride immediately fell away. Your first handful of new students had grown up a bit in the two years since you had seen them, and the more recent faces were familiar to you. They were the reason why you did your job, at the end of the day.

After a week of readjusting to your normal life, you began teaching your foreign language classes again. Your students who spoke English as a second language learned to speak with their classmates comfortably, but you were more excited teaching the students who were already fluent in English to learn new languages to talk to their new classmates. You were wrapping up your last class of the day when you noticed a familiar feminine silhouette pass by. Miss Jean Grey herself.

She had been walking down the hallway and noticed your classroom door was open. She walked through the doorway and waited patiently against the wall while you began your end-of-class routine with your students. Once class was finished, you stood up to say your goodbyes to each of your students, completely ignoring Jean’s presence until your last student left the room before painting the fakest smile you could on your lips. 

“Hello, Jean. It’s nice to see you again,” you spoke confidently, your eyes locked in on hers. Despite her being much taller than you - taller than most women, truthfully - you didn’t let her intimidate you one bit.

“It’s nice to see you as well, (Y/N). It’s been so long, I almost didn’t recognize you.” Jean smiled, her eyes scanning over you, before she met your gaze again, still as intense as it was before she broke contact. “I only knew it was you because of your classroom nameplate.”

You fought so desperately to not be sarcastic and try to be the bigger person when you spoke to her. “How are things, any big changes since I’ve been gone? Aside from you and Logan dating, of course.”

Jean stammered a moment, looking down at the floor sheepishly. “Yes, we started seeing each other about a year ago.”

You hummed, “I did ask about anything that was happening aside from that.”

Jean cleared her throat, “Well, it’s just business as usual around here.”

“Did you need something, or did you just want to come in to interrupt the last ten minutes of my class?” Your tone was still even, but your eyes narrowed at her.

“I’m sorry, am I not allowed to greet my colleague who’s been away for two years?” She snapped. Her words immediately made your blood run hot.

“Jean, I’ve been home for about a week. If you wanted to say your hellos, where were you the evening that I came home?” You smiled snarkily at her.

She truthfully had no response, and sighed dejectedly. “It’s good to see you, too, (Y/N).” She turned to leave.

“She really didn’t give you a reason why she came in?” Marie questioned, sipping her sweet tea while she sat with you. You two had a designated spot where you would gossip, outside as far into the field behind the mansion as you two could get. 

“Please shut the door on your way out.” You called to her, your tone sickly sweet now. As soon as she had crossed the threshold of your classroom, the door slammed shut. You chuckled to yourself.

================================================

You shrugged, laughing, “Nope! She came into my classroom, unannounced and unwelcomed, and just stood there for the last 10 minutes of class. I just ignored her, I don’t want to give her the time of day, honestly.”

Marie giggled, “She’s a drama mama, sugah. Don’t you worry about her.” You hummed in response, giving her a small smile before she asked, “Has Logan seen you since you’ve been back?”

You shook your head, “No, he hasn’t. Do I really look that different since the last time I was here?”

The days passed, and you were able to go about your work peacefully. No one entering your classroom unwelcomed or unannounced, no one wanting to gossip about who was sleeping with who. Life was really beginning to feel normal again. You were creating a lesson plan for your Cantonese class on Thursday when you got a knock at your classroom door. You turned in your chair, standing up and smoothing your skirt out before calling the person into your room.

Marie looked over your face and body thinking for a moment. “It’s nothin’ drastic, ya just look more… you!” She beamed at you, “You look stunnin’.” You smiled back at her in response and enjoyed another moment of comfortable silence with her. The air outside wasn’t too hot or too cold. The air felt fresh in your lungs. You truly did feel peaceful being back at home.

================================================

The knob turned, and the door slowly swished open, revealing Logan standing behind it. He was dressed like he had just finished his classes for the day, button-up shirt slightly undone, revealing a smooth white undershirt peeking out just under his collarbones. You’d never admit it, but damn he cleaned up good. You gave him a polite smile, but deep down your blood was getting hot again.

“Logan.” 

There were few moments in life where James Logan Howlett was at a loss for words. This was one of them. It took him a moment before he finally responded, “My god, (Y/N), Jean told me you looked different, but… wow, you’ve really changed.”

“I hear you two are happy together,” you said plainly, completely and truly disinterested in who your ex was doing now. You looked up at him through your eyelashes, giving him a small, sly smile. It was hard to not look up at him, he absolutely towered over you, something he loved about you.

“I’m glad that smart mouth never changed,” he sighed. He stepped closer to you, leaning against your desk, nearly sitting on it so that he’d be closer to your eye level. “I’ve missed you more than I thought I would.”

“I thought I would miss being home, but getting to meet all the new kiddos was so refreshing.” You kept deflecting the questions, packing up your things from the classes you taught that day and trying to keep the interaction as brief as you had with Jean.

“Hey, come on now,” Logan started, reaching over and putting his hand on your shoulder. His touch was warm, familiar. Comfortable. “I mean it, I missed you a lot.” You didn’t even realize you had smiled at the contact until you saw Logan’s own lips curling into the same smile. You removed his hand from your body gently, giving him an apologetic look.

“I’m not interested in being a homewrecker, Logan,” you sighed, before he placed a hand over your hip and pulled you into him. You gasped, trying hard to pull away, but his hold on you was strong. Being so close to him, so close to his face, you picked up the faintest scent on him. It wasn’t his usual smell of leather and tobacco, no this was something softer, almost feminine. It was so wildly familiar, and yet just out of your mind’s reach. It was refreshing and minty, but not in the way his toothpaste was, but the smell was definitely coming from his lips. That’s when the realization hit you like a truck. He was using the same cucumber and mint flavor of chapstick you had worn when you two were dating. Your eyes locked in on his, and you smiled so widely your cheeks almost hurt. 

“How does Jean feel having to taste me on your lips every time she kisses you?”

================================================

A/N pt. 2: hi if you got this far please consider checking out my other fics! i am working on a part 2 of "talking in your sleep" soon, and my long-running fic "replay" featuring my OC is also on my page. also also! if you are reading this, my inbox is open, please give me fic requests i will do my best for them. i currently have wolverine brainrot but i swear i can write for other fandoms just give me a little bit (but also if you wanna request more logan howlett stuff i wouldn't mind hehe.) thank you for reading, you are so nice, i hope you have a nice day!

[reidmania]

matilda | spencer reid

summary; when the topic of kids come up between you and spencer, you admit you are scared of being a mother & having your own family with spencer because of generational trauma and your childhood.

warnings; hurt x comfort, fears of being a mother, mummy issues, daddy issues, mentions of child abuse, slight bpd reference (not even a noticeable one) , fears of passing on trauma, both open up about fears, spencer talks about the schizophrenia gene, fem reader, established relationships, angst and a fuck ton of comfort

an; ME ME ME ME ME ME !! so based off matilda by harry styles just so u know if it wasn’t obvious!! to be honest this didn’t do the justice for me i wanted it to but i think bc my fear is so far implemented that comforting myself w a fictional character doesnt even work.

Maybe it was too soon.

A year long relationship. A year of spending every other day possible by one another’s side. A year of sweet nothings, giggly mornings, and soft kisses on the way out when leaving for work. A year of hand holding and three squeezes as silent I love you’s.

Maybe it was too soon to have the conversation about your future together. Too soon to talk about marriage, buying a home, settling down, having kids — even if it was just future planning. It’s not like either of you were planning on having kids now, or getting married right now, or buying a home now. Its not like it was ‘Im ready for more right now’ conversation. It was just a ‘Do you see more for us’ conversation yet it seemed to hold the same looming cloud over your head.

It was brought up when JJ came in with her newborn henry, you were there just visiting Spencer while he had some spare time. You weren’t expecting to be there for an extra hour, holding the newborn in your arms cooing at his every little movement, Spencer by your side, hand on your knee as he looked down on the sweet baby.

Then, you were asked if you wanted kids and you froze. You didn’t have time to even think about answering before Emily was saying how much of a great mother you would be. How you were just naturally good with kids. You laughed and brushed it off as Spencer smiled and squeezed your knee gently.

You handed baby Henry back to JJ moments later.

“Do you.. Not want kids?” Spencer asked later. It was after dinner, the rain outside was pattering against the window, loud enough to be heard over the sound of the tv which was playing a random documentary Spencer had put on. The question caught you off guard. It wasn’t that you hadn’t talked about kids with Spencer, just not seriously.

You turned your head to look at him, you knew this was probably a necessary conversation to have. You knew it was probably time to be honest yet that left a heavy weight on your chest and an overwhelming sense of nausea to your stomach — like the idea of having kids did.

“I don’t know.” You answered, honestly. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to have kids, you adored them, being around them, watching their wide eyes and curious faces when they got to that perfect toddler age when they were so curious about the world. You adored kids. It was that you didn’t think you could be a mother. Not a good one anyways.

Spencer’s face twisted into something, he shuffled a little on the couch, hands coming to rest on the back of it, behind your head as he sat up a little straighter. He didn’t answer, seemingly lost in thought, or a mental debate with himself. You could basically see the mental argument through his eyes and your chest fell.

“Do you?”

“Yes.” He answered instantly. You wanted to cry, you could actually feel the burning sensation in your nose because it felt like you were disappointing him. Normally — from your experience, people who wanted kids, longed for them, it wasn’t something they could pass off as fine without having. It was apart of their future lives.

“Oh.” It left your lips as your head dipped down slightly, wetting your lips as your mouth went dry. Your chest tightened with the crushing pressures of expectation and disappointment. His hand moved from the couch to tuck gently under your chin, lifting your head back to meet his eyes.

He looked at you like he was searching for something, and whatever it was he was looking for he seemed to find. “Is there a specific reason you don’t know?” He asked, voice gentle and steady, as if he knew.

“I don’t know” You answered again, it was unhelpful but the real answer seemed too heavy on your tongue to leave your lips. He tilted his head a little, his thumb gently running over your chin. “Okay. Thats okay.” He said, seemingly understanding your spiral of thought — or so you thought until he spoke again.

“Is— Is it me? Us?” He asked, as if you were doubting having kids with him, or a future with him. It was such a silly doubt you wanted to laugh because there was no way in the world, that was the last reason you would doubt your course of motherhood. Honestly, him being by your side made the thought a little lighter on your mind — not light enough.

You shook your head, “No, it’s not— Its nothing like that.. It’s just.. Me?” It came out as a question, a doubt more than you intended it too.

His eyebrows furrowed, hand moving from your chin to gently cup your jaw. “Do you want to tell me about that?” He asked softly, as if letting you know it was okay if you didn’t. That this conversation was entirely up to you and what you were comfortable with saying.

A huff left your lips as your head tilted to lean into his touch. “Have- Have you heard that saying? That the abused becomes the abuser, or hurt people, hurt people, or a household that once had an angry man will always have an angry man?” You rambled off the common sayings that only further installed the doubt that swarmed your mind and had since you were a teenager.

His features softened as he realised your point and what direction this conversation was heading towards, his thumb brushed over the soft skin of your cheek. “Mhm, a lot of abusers were also abused or experienced trauma in their childhood.” He nodded. Your frown deepened because you knew what he said was true.

“What if I become like them?” Your voice was quiet and barely above the whisper as the daunting fear left your lips, your eyes peered up at his. He didn’t need to ask who you were talking about, your parents.

He shook his head instantly, “You aren’t them.” He answered. You knew deep down he was right, but even looking in the mirror and seeing the features you shared with your parents made your stomach twist and chest carry a little heavier if you stared too long. When you noticed similar behavioural traits your mind would fog with self depreciation because of your hatred for them.

How could you ever love someone so similar to them, even if it was yourself?

“But what if I become like them. I feel like it’s wrong— and unfair for me to bring children into this world.. not when they could be so much like me.. Or like my parents.” You spoke, the earnest truth, no matter how much it hurt to say aloud.

His head further tilted and his heart ached at your words and the knowledge of your doubts, the way you viewed yourself as a second of your parents when from what he had heard you were so different. You were gentle and sweet, you had your moments like everyone did, but you weren’t them.

“I think any kid would be lucky to be like you. You’re gentle, caring, nurturing and dedicated. You show empathy to everyone— even those who don’t deserve it. Those are good traits for a child to develop” He spoke, listing off the numerous good things about you. It made your heart ache.

“But what about everything else? What if i pass.. My issues onto my children? Thats unfair. It would just be mean” You ushered out, mind swirling with doubts that kept you awake at night.

“Your parents endured a lot in their childhood, I know you know that. Their parents weren’t kind to them and your parents weren’t kind to you-You don’t have to feel bad about that, because it was unfair, and wrong of them to treat you that way regardless of the way they were treated in their childhood. The difference is you recognise that, you recognise what happened was wrong and the way you were treated was wrong. You’re putting in the effort to heal and to be better. You aren’t your parents, whether you decide you want to have kids or not. You aren’t them.”

His words weighed on your mind as you tried to process everything you were saying. It wasn’t the first time you had spoken to Spencer about your trauma or your childhood. You had been open with him about the abuse you endured, as well as the similar abuse your parents had both endured by their own parents. You told him about the guilt you held, how you for some reason felt bad for your parents.

It was a common theme in your mind, that maybe if your parents had met someone in their younger years who gave them a hug and and reminded them the world wasn’t as cruel as their parents made it seem — maybe your life would have turned out differently. Maybe your parents would’ve been good. Maybe your mother would have been nurturing and sweet, your father kind and humorous.

You were blessed in the way you had those people around you, the ones who reminded you that life wasn’t all it seemed to be in the house you grew up in. It wasn’t covering bruises with stolen makeup, or constant yelling and arguments after your father had drank too much, it wasn’t the dismissive and uncaring nature of your mother after a bad day — which seemed to have been everyday.

You were blessed in the way you got out when you had the chance. You went to therapy, you made something of yourself. You surrounded yourself with good hard working people, and you had met the most amazing man.

And yet you felt guilty that you had been able to do this, and your parents hadn’t. You wondered if the curse of natural unhappiness was passed down generation to generation, and would end your kids in a similar position. You wondered if you would become the same shameful and dismissive as your mother, or the same cruel and unkind as your father.

“It’s just, so scary.” You breathed out, because it was. “I don’t want to put someone else through what I had went through. I don’t want to ruin any chance they had at being good by being a child of mine.” You mumbled out, the best words you could find to describe your current state of mind.

He nodded understandingly, listening to every word and filling in every empty space your mind didn’t let you. He sat up a little straighter as he kept his gaze soft on yours. “Have I told you about my fear of passing the schizophrenia gene down to my future children?” He asked.

You shook your head. He hummed. “It was really bad a few years ago. I thought kids would be completely off the table for me, because the idea of bringing a kid into a world who may have to suffer a disease like that seemed so… unfair” He used the word you had repeated.

You understood what he meant, you really did. It seemed so wrong to do that to someone who had no choice over the life they were being brought into, no idea’s of the struggles they would face.

You listened carefully to his words, “How do you.. stop being scared of that?” You asked, because clearly his mind had changed since then. You couldn’t seem to get the fear out of your mind. It was constant eating away at your brain.

He paused for a moment, eyes staying on yours. He let out a soft breath, “You don’t. Thats not something that goes away, because it’s a valid fear to have, all the things you are scared of you are right to be scared of.. But it only further proves you care.” He said gently, “I think it’s less about stopping the fear and instead accepting it.” He said.

Your brain didn’t quite compute his words, his thumb danced gently over your skin. He took note of your lack of understanding what he meant. “Accepting that it is possible that we may pass things down to our children, whether its diseases or behaviours — The only thing we can do about that is be there for them when they need to learn how to cope with it, loving them regardless. You are so capable of love, and care. I see it in you everyday. You embody it.” He breathed out.

You curled gently into his side, your face coming to bury itself in the fabric of his shirt. His hand moved to rest on your upper back, rubbing soft circles over the skin there. You craved the comfort of his touch as your mind processed the comfort of his words. He was happy to provide it.

“I think I should talk about this in therapy” You mumbled out. He let out a soft chuckle, you felt the vibrations from it in his chest, making your lips curve into a slight smile. He nodded.

“I think if kids are something you want and the only thing stopping you is this fear then its something you should talk about in therapy. I know your parent’s took a lot from you, but I don’t think you should let them take your chance of building a family that will show you the unconditional love and care you deserve.”

And you did, the next time you went to therapy you brought up the topic of fearing passing down intergenerational trauma, and you spoke about every doubt on your mind. Later you came home and told Spencer about it.

He held you in his arms and kissed all over your face, expressing how proud he was and how much he loved you.

[brazilian-vampyra]

꒰ ♡ ₊ ꒱ ⠀!⠀ AKAI ITO (01/02) ! ⠀"

(english)

₊˚⊹♡ synopsis: the feared king of curses Ryomen Sukuna is back among humans, and you didn't expect to get his attention.

₊˚⊹♡ trigger warnings: kidnapping, strong language, nudity, suggestive topics, Sukuna being slightly lovely with the reader, violence, Sukuna x fem!reader.

₊˚⊹♡ the song Sukuna keep playing is "Fantasia and Fuge in G minor, BWV 542 "The Great" by Johann Sebastian Bach.

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐒𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐓 and reasonably comfortable, when I found myself waking up suddenly, surrounded by the gloom of my room. A shiver ran down my spine, as if an electric current had suddenly manifested itself, and my senses sharpened, catching an indescribable sensation of an ominous presence that filled the space around me.

I opened my eyes in the darkness, trying to understand the origin of this inexplicable shiver. I raised my hand to the back of my neck, feeling how my hairs were standing on end, and a mist of uneasiness hung in the air, as if something malevolent had penetrated the boundaries of reality and was now hiding in the shadows. My heart quickened, not out of fear, but in silent anticipation of knowing what it was about.

With cautious steps, I slid my bare feet across the cold floor of my apartment, approaching the half-open window. Outside, the distant lights of Tokyo seemed obscured by an aura that even I couldn't explain, and the pulse of the normally vibrant city was drowned out by a sense of expectation.

My cell phone rang, on the bedside table, and I ran to answer it. It was very late, it was already past midnight. Who could it be?

It was my older brother.

━━ Did you feel it too?

We both asked at the same time.

━━ Yes, I did — I said to him.

━━ I did it too… — Toji replied. ━━ Are you fine?

━━ I am... but this feeling is very strange… — I replied, placing my hand on my chest.

━━ Look, go to sleep, okay? You have to teach at Jujutsu High tomorrow, I promise you everything will be fine — my older brother sighed. ━━ Good night, little sis.

━━ Good night, big bro.

I really couldn't sleep that night. The sensation was bizarre, as if something was lurking, whispering in my ear and breathing heavily on the back of my neck.

The next day was cloudy — something very different for spring, which was being followed by sunny days with a beautiful blue sky. The skirt of my white dress fluttered in the breeze and I adjusted the sleeves of my denim jacket as I walked inside Jujutsu High. I saw Megumi talking to Itadori in the hallway, and I ran to the brunette, hugging him tightly.

━━ Megumi, my dear! — I hugged him tightly, bringing my hands to his face, holding his cheeks and making him look at me. ━━ Are you okay?

━━ Hi, auntie… — he was still a little embarrassed that I treated him like that in front of his friends. Because I look more like a sister than an aunt, despite being older, my appearance is youthful due to my nature. There are pros and cons of being a 22-year-old teacher. ━━ I'm fine and you?

━━ That's good, I'm fine too! — I looked to the side. ━━ Ah, good morning, Yuji!

━━ Good morning! — the pink-haired boy smiled happily. He thought the way I treated my nephew was cute.

Although Toji is not a present father in my little darling's life, there are two people he trusts immensely to take care of our little one: me and Gojo Satoru.

Talking about him, I heard the light-eyed sorcerer call me, adjusting his sunglasses.

━━ Does my favorite sorceress have some time for an important matter?

━━ Of course!

Now we were in the teachers' room, gathered near the coffee machine, next to Nanami who looked tense. It was difficult to see that “wall” express something, just like my brother.

I took a sip of the coffee with notes of caramel and vanilla essence that he had prepared for me.

━━ Everyone felt that way yesterday, right? — Kento cleaned the lens of his glasses.

━━ I woke up in the middle of the night. That's strange... it never happened... — just remembering it made me feel cold.

━━ Well, I think we already know... — Gojo bit into a sandwich, how can he eat at a time like this… ━━ That if everyone felt the same thing, late in the morning... it's because something really, really bad happened... so, I think…

━━ No!

The blonde and I exclaimed at the same time. We already knew what he was going to say, it's almost like an intuition.

━━ You don't even know what I'm going to say!

━━ Yes, we know — Kento crossed his arms.

━━ It is not a hypothesis to be ruled out!

━━ It's impossible, Satoru! Impossible! — I said.

━━ The impossible is just a matter of opinion when it comes to magic, my dear — the white-haired sorcerer had an important point.

Ryomen Sukuna had been defeated during the Heian era, centuries ago. At first, the sorcerers had the idea of sealing the curse on twenty fingers, but they disregarded this hypothesis, as they were afraid that it would be easy to bring him back in the future.

Therefore, the king of curses was mutilated, completely dismembered. Then, the sorcerers cremated his parts, one by one, and sealed them in individual urns, which were spread across different parts of the world. How could anyone have gotten all these urns and performed the ritual to get him back?

It would be a lot of work for a huge disgrace. Many rituals had to be done, innocent blood had to be spilled so that the ashes would materialize in parts of his body again.

Who wanted Sukuna alive?

If he returned, he would destroy the sorcerers. And, our death means the death of everyone, the death of humanity.

Now, I walk along the winding forest trail, surrounded by the shadows of the trees in this late afternoon. My mind is still restless, and what Gojo suggested earlier is haunting my every thought. I don't care so much about what will happen to me, but I need to protect my nephew, my brother and my friends.

The sparkling crystals I sought out for the purification ritual were a welcome distraction. The city was as restless as my head, and I felt it in my core.

While collecting the crystals among the roots and mosses, a strange sound broke the silence. A thunderous cry for help. I immediately dropped the crystals and ran away as fast as I could.

I was immediately petrified by the terrifying scene that my eyes captured. There was a dead man on the floor; unfortunately I arrived too late. His lifeless and completely bloodied body lay with his chest open and empty. I went closer to look at the hole.

━━ It couldn't have been a bear, there are no scratches... it was just a fatal blow to the chest…

━━ Well now... are you looking for this?

I heard a booming voice behind me, and I looked back. He was identical to Itadori, even the color of his hair, and was more muscular. Furthermore, there was something different in his gaze: cruelty. There were two extra eyes just below the ones already on his face, and he was a little taller. But it didn't have four arms.

Gojo was right, really, the impossible in the field of magic is just a matter of opinion.

I looked at the hand he offered to me, there was the man's heart, and it was pulsing a little. My reaction was to run as far as I could, and even then I could hear his evil laugh.

━━ Run, run and hide, bunny! Just don't let me find you!

Fighting Sukuna would be suicide, and suddenly I found myself lost in the forest. How can I? How am I lost in the fucking forest I've been wandering through my whole life? I know this place like the back of my hand

I was on the verge of having a panic attack, I ran as if my life depended on it — and it did — if I died, I wouldn't be able to protect the people I love. I sneaked between some trunks and trees, until I got close to a stream, where I could hide behind some rocks. The only thing I heard now was my heartbeat and the sound of water, along with some owls.

When suddenly, I feel a hand touch my shoulder.

━━ Oh, what a shame... I found you!

Sukuna's hands went to my hips, squeezing tightly as he tried to hold me in his lap. I struggled and screamed, it seemed like my powers were useless now, because when your emotions are shaken, your magic weakens. He didn't even tickle that son of a bitch.

━━ I love skittish women, you know that?

The blood on the cursed palms stained my white dress, which was now practically scarlet, and also stained my skin. Despite all my efforts, nothing worked, he ended up throwing my body over his own shoulder, while I continued to struggle.

━━ Look, I'm trying not to hurt you, but you're making things difficult, bunny.

He laughed sarcastically, I was a complete joke now. A sorceress from the Jujutsu Academy who couldn't protect herself, unfortunately my emotions still shook me a lot and this made my techniques difficult.

I looked at the ground, seeing some footprints that the tallest one left. What would become of me now? Was he going to kill me? Swallow me alive?

My eyes were starting to tickle a little, as if an invincible sleep was ravaging my eyelids, which became increasingly heavy, until I sighed one last time, and fell into a deep sleep.

[...]

I woke up in a daze, with my senses deadened by the oppressive darkness that enveloped me. My mind tried to comprehend the situation while my body remained still, I felt something around my wrists, a cold material. The feeling of being captive, enclosed in darkness, left me with severe restlessness.

I then sat down, on what seemed like a very soft carpet, at the same time I heard the noise of the chains. I wish this was just a dream.

━━ Shit… — I sighed.

━━ Good morning, sleeping beauty.

I heard his harsh voice ring through the room, when the fireplace was lit, with its purple flames. Now the environment had become illuminated, and I could see better where I was. It looked like an old living room, perhaps from imperial times, with sophisticated furniture.

Sukuna was there, a few meters away from me, sitting in a leather armchair, wearing a black kimono and with his arms crossed. He smiled at me, like an idiot smiles when he knows he's won.

━━ What’s this? — I was still disoriented, it felt like I had hibernated. ━━ How long did I sleep?

━━ Just a few hours, relax.

━━ Where am I? What is this place?

━━ My palace. You're in my living room — he opened his arms and showed me the room.

I felt my head boil and whistle, like a pressure cooker, and if this were a cartoon, there would definitely be smoke coming out of my nostrils and ears. A tantrum was rising in me, and I could even feel my powers coming on, but it had no effect.

Instead, my left shoulder started to burn.

I groaned in pain and started panting. Until I looked to the side and noticed a mark on my skin, like a seal or something similar. Had he blocked my powers? For the love of the elder gods, someone kill me.

━━ Oh, my dear... you won't be able to use your powers, not here — he sighed, as if he was saying something completely casual. ━━ The more you try, the more the seal will burn, and as I'm sure you don't like feeling pain, I recommend stopping…

━━ You son of a bitch... — were the most sincere words I could come up with.

━━ Aww, this hurts... — he placed a hand on his chest after that insult.

━━ Honestly, I'd rather you kill me right away.

He laughed then, a strangely satisfying laugh, like someone who had just heard the best joke of the year.

━━ Kill you? No no. I have other plans! — He got up from the armchair and walked over to me. ━━ What would be the fun in killing such an adorable little creature like you?

━━ What are you going to do? Leave me here to decorate your living room? I'm pretty sure I'm not part of the decor.

━━ No, no... I just want company, you know? — he patted my head, as if I were a dog. ━━ I was gone for so many eras... and you were the first pretty face I saw. So I thought "why not bring her here?"

━━ That's ridiculous.

━━ Well, maybe it is. I don't care — he shrugged and walked to the room's huge door. ━━ We can play later, bunny. Now I have some important topics to solve as a king.

The moment he closed the door I started struggling and swearing. I was furious and felt like crap. How could I have fallen into his clutches? How did this happen?

Now look where I am! On the carpet in the living room of this huge palace where he lives, alone, chained, powerless and in the dark. If he swallowed me all at once, it would be a much more dignified death. But for him, it might be funny to see me suffer like this.

I tried to look at the windows, and saw that they were covered by long, thick black curtains.

The only source of light I had left was this fireplace with a purple flame. I stood up and noticed how dirty I was, with dried blood and the smell of iron that entered my nostrils. The chains were only attached to my wrists, and they were considerably long, they didn't keep me completely immobile.

I heard a voice whisper something inaudible.

I was surprised and remained silent, listening carefully to see if the voice said anything again. And so it happened, a shame I couldn't recognize it. However, I saw that the voice had come from the fireplace, so I approached it slowly. Were there any souls?

They said something again.

━━ What? — I whispered.

━━ Fresh soul…

By the gods, it's not possible.

━━ FRESH SOUL! — several voices said together, and then a hand came out of the fire and grabbed my ankle.

I screamed in surprise and tried to free myself, but to no avail, as another hand came to grab my other ankle. My body fell to the floor at the same moment, using as much strength as I had left so I could kick those hands and they let me go, while I clung to the carpet. I managed to kick some of them, however, then others came and grabbed my ankles, pulling me towards the fire.

I was being pulled by a legion of souls. Fighting was in vain, I no longer had as much strength as before.

━━ FRESH SOUL! FRESH SOUL!

That ghostly chorus scared me even more, so I had no other option:

━━ SUKUNA! SUKUNA!

I screamed, desperate, and in a few seconds he appeared. The door to the room was slammed against the wall when he stormed in and shouted at them.

━━ RELEASE HER NOW!

The souls obeyed and released my ankles, while Sukuna snapped his fingers and made the chains disappear. He bent down and picked me up, holding my legs and my back. He didn't hold me sloppily like he had in the forest, this time he was really careful, and that left me perplexed.

However, this experience was so scary that it made me cry with anxiety.

━━ Why didn't you just throw me in a fucking dungeon!?

━━ The palace is mine, I decide where I put you — he began to walk out of the room, heading into a vast hallway. ━━ Besides, there must be something much worse in the dungeon.

I remained silent, as I was in the grip of this powerful curse. The only thing I could do was accept my fate, and accept whatever it was going to do to me. I didn't have much of a chance to resist, because even though I'm without the chains, I still have the seal on my shoulder.

He continued walking a little further down the corridor, carrying me, until he reached a… room?

The walls were covered in dark velvet, in a shade of moss green and there were large crimson curtains, which adorn the large windows, leaving the light scarce and filtered, which gave me a feeling of seclusion. In the center is a colossal four-poster bed, ornamented with what I thought was gold and carved from dark wood.

Persian rugs covered the stone floor, and there was an ebony table next to it. In the far corner of the room was a fireplace that crackled softly, casting dancing shadows on the walls. After this experience with the cursed souls, I have a certain trauma, but apparently it's "common fire".

I also noticed one or two paintings on the wall, with images from Japanese folklore.

━━ Take a shower and it won't take long to go downstairs.

━━ Down the stairs? For what? — I questioned, as he placed me on the ground.

━━ You have to feed.

So, he closed the bedroom door and left me completely alone. I looked up from the bed and noticed a white kimono. I took it and went to another oak door, which was a bathroom.

There, I took a good shower to remove the blood from my body, and take a few deep breaths, while the warm water kissed my skin. I sighed heavily several times, thinking about how my family and friends were doing. Were they already looking for me? Does everyone already know that Sukuna is on the loose?

What if I never get the chance to see them again?

I should have had lunch with Toji more often, and I should have hugged Megumi harder and longer. A few tears rolled down my face when I thought about it, but I preferred to avoid dwelling on that thought. I dried my body with a red towel that was there and got dressed with my kimono, leaving the blood-stained dress on top of the marble sink.

Leaving the room, I paid attention to the large windows in the hallway. The sky was strange, like the end of a very cloudy day. I descended huge stairs that seemed to be made of ivory, adorned with red carpets that slid down the steps.

At the bottom of the stairs, he was waiting for me. His expression was friendlier than yesterday when we first met. He didn't have four eyes, nor a sarcastic smile.

━━ It is a little big, but from the looks of it, it fit — he said, looking at the kimono. ━━ Then I'll get you better clothes.

I nodded silently and followed him as he walked, heading to a huge dining room. All the rooms in this palace were certainly dark, with these chandeliers that provided very good lighting, but did not take away from the funereal air.

There was a huge dining table in that room, like those you see in huge banquets in medieval films. Sukuna felt on edge, and pulled out a chair next to me for me to sit on, and I did so.

━━ Then what you will do? Snap your fingers and make food magically appear?

He laughed softly and shook his head.

━━ You're smart, I appreciate that — he said calmly. ━━ What do you want to eat and drink?

I gave a description of some food and a drink, quite accurately, saying everything. And immediately, he snapped his fingers, making it appear on the table.

━━ Make sure you eat right, okay?

Was that a way for him to show that he cared about me or what? Because if he was trying to convey some credibility, he wouldn't succeed.

I thanked him shyly and began to eat quietly, while he remained next to me, with one elbow resting on the table, while one hand was supporting his face. His eyes watched me intently as I chewed and took subtle sips from the glass. It was then that I noticed a bracelet around the man's strong wrist; probably amethyst.

━━ Dessert time now?

He suggested, and in the blink of an eye, a slice of berry pie appeared on a small porcelain plate in his hand.

━━ What? Hm… of course, of course.

He picked up a silver fork and brought it to the slice, which was soft and juicy. Then taking it to my mouth. I was surprised and had no reaction for the first three seconds, until I finally accepted and ate it.

What's up with this guy? Is he doing what the witch did to Hansel? She fed him a lot until he was chubby so she could eat him.

Sukuna looked at me differently. I would say he didn't look at me as someone who would kill me, but with a certain appreciation. A certain compassion, perhaps. But, that silence was strange, so I decided to ask:

━━ Where did this bracelet come from? — I finished chewing some of what he had given me. ━━ I mean, it doesn't really fit your aesthetic.

━━ Not really, but I love it. I've been using it since the day I got it.

━━ Love? — I gently licked my lower lip, collecting the crumbs. ━━ I'm sorry, I can't imagine someone like you is capable of love.

━━ I didn't knew I had this ability either, until the woman in my life showed up — he said, taking another piece on his fork.

━━ Have you ever fallen in love? — now I was really perplexed.

━━ Unfortunately, yes.

From the tone of his response, I could guess that she had broken his heart.

━━ It must not have been a good experience, I'm sorry.

━━ It was a great experience — he gave me some more pie. ━━ But I fell in love with someone who was my complete opposite.

━━ Was that a long time ago?

He laughed softly.

━━ Since the Heian era. She was the sorceress of the imperial family — how strange to see him talking like that. ━━ Strong, smart, powerful, fucking beautiful…

As much as he kidnapped me and is harmful to humanity, I can't hate him. Why can't I hate him? It's all so confusing, he doesn't seem like the monster everyone says he is.

━━ Did she not return your feelings? — I ate the last piece that was left.

━━ It's a question I still ask today. Unfortunately, the doubt will be eternal, since she was killed and I couldn't declare myself.

━━ D-Dead? By the gods, by whom?

━━ For the damned Gojo clan... — I swear I heard his voice shaking with anger. ━━ They took her from me... all because of envy, since she was better than them in everything.

━━ Which clan was she from?

━━ Zenin.

Oh, an ancestor!

━━ It's my clan... — I ended up thinking out loud.

I didn't even have time to lose myself in my reverie, as I saw three young women entering the dining room. They were wearing very revealing clothes, exposing many parts of their bodies and they went laughing towards the pink-haired man, hugging him and kissing his face.

I cleared my throat in the most blatant way possible, making them look at me.

━━ Oh, these are…

━━ Concubines. Every king has them, and I know what they're for.

I got up from the chair and started walking away.

━━ Have fun with him, girls. Bye-bye!

I smiled at them without showing my teeth, they waved at me, while I turned my back and went as quickly as possible to the stairs. Why do I feel angry about this? It's something that goes beyond embarrassment, beyond simply thinking I'm getting in the way.

I was truly "upset".

I had a strange dream when I took a nap. This seal on my shoulder makes me "weaker" and makes me feel a little more drowsy, thanks to the damn restriction. During this dream, I was walking in a forest with beautiful Sakura trees, the cherry blossoms were blooming and it was night. The light of the full moon illuminated the place, it was peaceful.

I heard laughter in the distance and my feet guided me close to a beautiful stream.

I saw Sukuna from afar. In its original form. He was extremely tall, muscular and had four arms. His body was covered in a white kimono with some black patterns drawn on it. There was a woman with him, who had her back to me while I could see him... smile!?

━━ I think I should have made more bracelets, right?

The woman's voice was sweet, but I couldn't recognize it. Is this the woman of his life? The one he had mentioned in the dining room?

━━ Choose an arm for me to use, you have four options!

━━ I'll choose this right here!

And so I saw her putting an amethyst bracelet on him, the same bracelet he was wearing.

[...]

The next day, I woke up and opened the curtains in my room — the sky was cloudy and dark — and then went to make my bed. The kimono was a little wrinkled, since I only had that outfit.

The bedroom door suddenly opened, and it was him. Who else would it be, right?

━━ Good morning princess, I brought you new clothes.

He placed them on the bed, and I took a good look. The fabrics seemed to be of quality, but I had one condition to use them.

━━ If it's your concubines' clothes, I'd rather be naked.

━━ It's totally fine for me.

He crossed his arms and I froze. Did this idiot actually agree with this idea?

━━ What?

━━ Fine by me. It'll be even more fun that way.

As much as I don't like the idea, I can't show weakness. I immediately took one of my hands to the bow, which was on the back of the kimono, and pulled it so it could come undone. The bow came undone and the piece of clothing fell to the floor, leaving me completely exposed.

His eyes roamed over my skin, taking in every feature of me. Like he was taking a good look, to be able to memorize what I looked like naked. A gentle breeze came from the window, making me shiver, and I felt my nipples harden.

He laughed softly, a laugh of satisfaction that was extremely clumsy.

I curled up, dead with shame, trying to hide my body with my hands. Sukuna was only a few centimeters away from me, and I felt so vulnerable that it seemed like a lie.

━━ I'll get you some other clothes — he said, with a smirk, going to the bedroom door. ━━ Nice body, by the way.

I felt my face blush when he "breathed" this last compliment, before leaving the room. I sat on the bed and covered my body as best I could with the kimono, waiting for him to return with the new clothes.

He seemed to be ogling me at that time. My heart was racing, and my cheeks were still hot. I was a little shaky, due to the growing nervousness that was growing in me as I kept reliving this scene in my head.

Sukuna returned to the room minutes later.

━━ Here, I think it's your size — he handed me some folded black clothes. ━━ And, don't worry, it is not from the girls.

━━ Thank you... — I was going to get dressed, and I noticed that he was still there, but leaning against the wall and with his arms crossed. ━━ You can go, I'll be right there.

━━ Nah, I feel good here — he smiled mischievously. ━━ Don't worry, you have nothing to hide from me.

I swallowed, and went to get dressed, feeling his eyes on me. I had panties, a dress and socks that went up to just above my knees. I put on the panties, sliding the underwear down my legs and then picked up the dress. It looked short — and it really was — with a slightly more accentuated waist, like a corset, and delicate straps, and I also put on socks, since walking barefoot on that stone floor was horrible.

━━ Don't you think... the dress is a little short? — I pulled the skirt down a little, seeing that it barely covered my ass.

━━ No, I think it's perfect — he motioned for me to go through the door first, and so I did.

As we walked down the hallway, I heard him laugh softly and felt his eyes fixed on my ass as I tried to pull down my skirt several times.

Apparently I would be alone all day, as he had said he had "important tasks". He also said that I could freely walk around the palace, except for the fourth and fifth floors. I said that I understood everything and that I would not break any rules.

But when he left, I went up the huge staircase until I reached the fourth floor. Unfortunately, when I was about to go further down the corridor, I was stopped. There seemed to be an invisible wall that wouldn't allow me to proceed.

━━ It must be because of that restriction seal — I grumbled as I looked at my own shoulder.

With no other options left, I went down the stairs and "adventured" to the second and third floors. The first floor was where there was the dining room, the kitchen, the main hall, and what appeared to be a wine room.

On the second floor, there was my bedroom and three others, next to the living room in which I had been trapped at first, and a treasure room, with mountains and mountains of gold, jewels, chests, etc. That room was so bright that it seemed to have irritated my eyes.

On the third floor I saw a music room, a painting room and especially a huge library, which is where I entered without thinking twice.

The space is vast and lit by antique chandeliers, whose flames flicker gently, casting dancing shadows on the shelves full of books. The walls are covered in dark wood panels, decorated with intricate carvings that represent mythical creatures, or something very similar. The shelves are made from the same dark wood, displaying an impressive collection of perfectly aligned, leather-bound volumes, from the finest books to grimoires.

I noticed a reading table decorated with upholstered chairs. There were two or three grimoires on top of it, next to an old map made of yellowed paper.

At the end of the library there was a spiral staircase that led me to a mezzanine adorned with colorful stained glass windows, which filter daylight in hypnotic patterns throughout the room, what's more, the air is full of various incense. I think I could stay here for the rest of my life.

I didn't take any books from the shelves, I preferred to read one of the ones on the reading table that I had seen before. I sat comfortably in the chair, and the moment I opened it, a page fell out. It wasn't from the book, it was on cream paper that had something written on it.

He said "my greatest curse is being in love with someone I can't have."

That could only be Sukuna's handwriting, and deep down I felt sad for him. Just remembering the way he talked about her yesterday, I could imagine how broken his heart was. Was I really feeling compassion for him?

There could just be something wrong with me.

[...]

After spending the whole afternoon reading a book of spells and seeing which ones I knew, and which ones I wanted to learn, it was starting to get dark. He still hadn't come back, and I was starting to get bored.

Well, he didn't say anything about me not being able to cook, right?

I left the library and went to the stairs, hurriedly going down and going to the kitchen. It's incredible that he had so much stuff in that pantry, but he didn't cook. Was this all laziness or what?

I remembered something my mom used to make for me: cupcakes. When I was a child, it was very common for the house to always smell like these cookies. It was something I also did for my nephew and brother when I had free time.

Are they okay?

I didn't want to think too much about it and went to prepare the ganache first so I could let it cool while I prepared the dough. The dough was vanilla, and there were even fresh cherries for me to put on top, along with the whipped cream.

Almost everything was ready, the cupcakes were in the oven and the ganache was cooling.

━━ What are you cooking? — I felt Sukuna's cold fingertips slide down the back of my neck.

━━ You don't know how to arrive in a conventional way, do you? — I got goosebumps and complained, looking back and seeing him with a mischievous smile. ━━ It's a vanilla and chocolate cupcake.

━━ The smell is great.

━━ Thank you, wait until you eat. Or do you only eat humans?

He laughed, and I could see that I caught him by surprise.

━━ I eat normal things too.

The cupcakes were finally baked, and now I had removed them from the oven so they could cool on the counter. I sat on top of it.

━━ Now I have to wait for it to cool before I can fill it.

━━ Do you get burned by this? — he mocked.

━━ No, but the restriction seal leaves me vulnerable to these “ordinary human” problems.

━━ If you behave properly, I'll remove him.

He started opening the dumplings with the knife and holding them with his hand. I laughed softly.

━━ For what? For me to kill you?

━━ It depends, if it's to have you on top of me, I think it's worth it.

I felt my face heat up again, as it had earlier when he saw me naked. What is it about him that can disconcert me so easily? I even seem to like him.

━━ Aren't you going to fill it with me?

━━ Of course, I will.

I took a deep breath and got down from the bench, with an awkward smile, trying to hide how embarrassed I was.

If somebody told me that I was going to fill cupcakes and eat with Sukuna in the kitchen of his palace, I would bet all my money that it was a lie. But apparently fate had different plans for me.

━━ It tastes spectacular! Congratulations, cupcake! — he said, biting another piece of the cupcake he had in his hand.

━━ Why did you call me cupcake and not princess or bunny this time? — I looked up at the tallest one.

━━ Because you're not defenseless and fragile like a bunny — he continued. ━━ But, you're certainly cute, pretty and delicious like a cupcake.

I had nothing to answer. Now, I'm sure he realizes how he leaves me and does it on purpose.

━━ Then go upstairs and take a shower. I put pajamas on your bed, see if it fits.

━━ Don't tell me it's tiny and short like that dress.

━━ I think I've reached my perversion limits for today, relax, covers everything.

When I went to my room, I took a shower with that wonderful warm water and got dressed in the pajamas he had left for me. It was a delicate white nightgown, with thin straps and a low waist. The fabric was probably silk, judging by its comfort and texture.

The ends of my hair were a little wet, but my skin was fresh and I felt clean and light.

As I looked at myself in the huge mirror, I heard music. A melody coming from some instrument, I was sure it was coming from upstairs and it was probably Sukuna in the music room. Somehow, those notes were mesmerizing me and my feet guided me through the palace to there.

I reached the door of the music room and stood there, silently watching as he was engrossed in his melody. He was sitting in front of the majestic organ, with his skillful fingers dancing over the keys, producing an enveloping harmony that filled the space with powerful, funereal notes. The golden light from the chandeliers was reflecting on the polished keys of the instrument.

As I listened to the majestic music, I felt a strange wave of emotion and non-existent nostalgia invade my mind. The musical notes resonated inside my head, as if I had heard this melody a million times, but in reality it was the first time. I couldn't explain it, but it was as if this song was important to me, as if it had marked me.

Tears welled up in my eyes, sliding silently down my cheeks as I relived ghost memories. It was a feeling of belonging and knowledge. The melody Sukuna played was more than just a sound; it was like an enchantment that created a bridge between the present and a past that I was simply unaware of.

I stayed there until the end, listening note by note, and when he played the last one, he sighed and passed his hand over his face, as if he were thoughtful. He looked back and saw me, his expression went from relaxed to worried in a matter of milliseconds.

━━ Hey Hey! Princess, are you okay? Why are you crying?

He came to me because I just couldn't stop crying.

━━ You... you played this song for me, Sukuna... you played it... — I cried more and more, my mind was wandering, I felt out of my depth. ━━ I-I remember…

I felt his hands on my arms, holding me to try to calm me down while I only knew how to feel sad, and at the same time with this false nostalgia that hit me with the same force as a wave on the beach on a rough tide day. I was losing strength, feeling a strange headache.

If it weren't for him, I would have fallen to the ground, as I ended up fainting.

[...]

𑁍ࠬܓ 𝐇𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄¹: I adapted and changed many things in the anime's lore to adapt to this, but I hope it's understandable. By the way, Toji and the reader are brothers only on their mother's side.

𑁍ࠬܓ 𝐇𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄²: I'm already writing the second part and there will be smut.

XOXO, kisses that taste like blood o negative, see you next time little bats 💋

— brazilian-vampyra, 2024.

[gleefullypolin]

The hypocrisy on fandom's reaction of "fell too soon" for friends to lovers

I find it very RICH on the fandoms reaction to S3 and the he "fell too soon" for Penelope. I mean honestly it is a bit spit in your face fantastic the way certain parts of the fandom are wretching on themselves to make that point.

"He didn't like her in season 1." I'm sorry, Can't hear you over "I'm to escort Miss Featherington to the floor" in EPISODE 1. That's what a friend does when a bitch spills her drink on a girl you were having a polite conversation with. Or how about hanging out with her laughing and gossiping like silly goofballs on the side of the dance floor, didn't see him doing that with other people either. Because they were FRIENDS.

"There was no build up previously to show there was a level of friendship there where he saw her any differently than a sister." Ok children...lets move to Season 2. We can talk about the race track and how they spoke about his travels which was very comfortable and very much NOT like a sister. They had an ease, like people who, oh I don't know, had been communicating personally all summer long via letters. And then lets go to Edwina's night where he shares with her that her letters allowed him to get in touch more with HIMSELF. something also so very personal he would not just share that with anyone. (I'll get to this in another point)

"He just suddenly likes her after he kisses her." Big ball of monkey shit here. Colin Sensitive Bridgerton was getting to know himself back in Season 2. He told Pen as much when he gave her the "You are Pen" line. And yes we all gasped and grabbed our pearls at the You are not a woman line, but it was not meant as an insult. Colin inserts his foot so many times throughout the seasons, you would think he could run a mile with his head. He simply means that she is such a dear friend to him he could not forswear her from his life. He has put her in a different category all together in his life. He makes this point when talking to her about Cousin Jack. He calls her constant and loyal and makes mention that their relationship has been so natural to him. He also just soooooo easily makes mention to HER MOTHER that he's been talking to her about things that would make other women blush. Like he doesn't even see it himself that she's just a totally different place for him. He didn't have to kiss her to like her. He already did.

"It all just felt too rushed." I could go on about how they had conversations about their purpose or lack there of, in season 2, more than once might I add, conversations that you would not normally have with members of the opposite sex. The fact that he has told her and proved that he would look after her, he has called her special to him. He has had feelings for her for seasons. Don't get started about the longing stares, they have been there since season 1. You have to actually open your eyes and look at them. Yes there was the whole infatuation of the Marina thing. Of course there was. But if you look at his mannerisms during the entire thing, it screams at you the difference.

But dare I say the biggest and most annoying hypocrisy of them all is that this build up of 2 seasons of them growing friendship, talking and learning about each other, developing feelings for each other regardless if they know what they mean... suddenly is rushed. BUT when compared to other seasons where a brand new face appears and we are to believe that in a weeks time our beloved character is now madly, deeply in love with this person and YOU BUY THAT WITH ALL THE SUGAR IT COMES WITH! Burning for you and Bane of my existence and all????

At the end of the day...live in your trope. I sat through those seasons. I cried through their HEA, I was happy for them. You can dislike the characters for other reasons. Dislike how they wrote parts of the season, don't like the plot points but don't make the excuses above that don't add up.

If you don't enjoy my trope, fine. But please, in the nicest possible way, shut the fuck up.

[libby-for-life]

Just something me and @breedtheseed wrote on Discord. Even have some art done by them as well! Smut. Lots of smut. Enjoy.

Lucifer x Adam x Lilith

Heaven, a government-paid underground lab, decided to make a genetically perfect human for espionage and assassination. If they were successful, then they would create a female. Or even better. A man that could do it all.

So Project Eden began. Experiment 1-A, or Adam, was grown from a small clump of cells. They experimented on that fetus until it could have both fully functional female and male parts. They messed around with the DNA to see what yielded the best results.

He grew in a test tube until he was a fully grown adult, 21 years of age. At this point, he was a 7-foot-tall slim man with both a reproductive system and a way to reproduce.

They trained him. Hard. Adam gained muscles, strength, and intelligence, and was able to adapt to any situation they threw at him. Adam knew how to seduce both men and women for information and how to kill a human in over a thousand different ways. They created him with hyperthymestic, perfect memory. They labeled him the perfect human. The only thing they needed to do was to test him in a human environment. He needed more human contact other than just the scientists who conversed with him.

He was too old for high school. But college was right up his alley. They decided to enroll him and see how he reacted to humans his age.

They prepared Adam the best they could.

Adam barely talked, he liked to think before he said anything, but this left him silent. He had read about college of course. To Adam, that was an otherworldly experience he wouldn't know about. To think he was going to the Hazbin College, not the most creative name, to learn stuff he already knew.

When they explained to him he needed to know how to converse with others his age more smoothly, Adam reluctantly agreed that it was vital for his purpose.

They wanted him to blend in but excel in his studies. They also wanted to see how well he could adapt without any prior knowledge of what was trendy or considered normal. Sometimes, you wouldn't get the privilege of knowing everything before and you would need to wing it.

This was Adam's chance to prove he could.

The first time Adam felt the sun on his face was enough to make him smile. He read about the sun. He had just never seen it.

He was given an apartment with everything he could ever need, school supplies, and groceries delivered to him every week.

Adam knew how to cook just fine so he wasn't worried.

He made sure he picked something that would interesting but not something off-putting and weird.

He decided to major in Biology.

His first day came faster than Adam was prepared for. He was still adjusting to the overwhelming pressure of being outside and even more now that should he try to do anything Heaven wouldn't like it was game over for Adam.

They implanted a chip in him when he was asleep. Adam didn't know where but they would know where he was 24/7. If he ever defected...tried to run away, then he wouldn't be having a head anymore.

Adam walked into the building he would be studying in for the next 2 years. He had already seen the maps so he knew where he was going.

Only, there seemed to be two people struggling. Two...very beautiful people. Adam likened them to works of art. They seemed lost. Perhaps this was his first test? How would he do in a situation like this?

He approached the two people, a female and male, and quietly asked. "Do you need some help?" They both turned and looked up, Adam was pretty tall, and smiled. "Sure! Do you know where room 3-E is? This place is a maze," the shorter male said. He looked about 5'9. Blonde coifed hair, crystal blue eyes, and a smirk that made Adam blush a bit.

The woman had long blonde hair and eyes that shimmered like violets. Her natural smirk made him shiver too.

"Yeah, I know the way." They end up following him.

Adam was quick to understand that they were already very popular and everyone loved them. They had already been to college last year and they were coming again for their second.

They threw the best parties and knew the best people. Everyone wanted to be them or have sex with them. Adam knew they were physically attractive but no one knew them on a personal level. Didn't you need a connection to be in a relationship? Or was he thinking about healthy relationships?

Adam shrugged to himself as he saw the two of them surrounded by people and laughing at some of their poorly made jokes.

Why were they laughing at that? Adam didn't understand it. Unless this was their way of blending in with the crowd.

Adam though keeping an eye on then would be useful. They could effortlessly fit into crowds and compel people to tell them things. He couldn't place why but he felt he had to know more about them.

He wasn't prepared for them to come to *him*. He was just eating lunch outside campus when he felt a strong arm hug his waist. Startled he looked down and saw Lucifer grinning up at him.

"Hi!"

Another grabbed his arm and Adam turned to see Lilith holding it.

"What are you doing out here?" He wasn't used to being touched. He didn't know what they were doing. It did feel...nice. He didn't know how to explain it any other way.

Back at Heaven people would ask him odd questions all the time. He gestured to his lunch and told them he was eating.

"Looks tasty," Lucifer said. It was okay. "We wanted to invite you to a party!" A party? Adam had never been to one. Oh, sure. He trained on what he was supposed to do in that kind of situation but had never experienced something so normal.

"Do you want to go?" Lilith asked, biting her lip a bit.

Did he? It would be a good experience and he would have another normal thing to write I'm his report to Heaven.

"Sure." They looked so happy that he accepted their invitation. "Here. Let me just write the address." Lilith took his hand and Adam watched fascinated as she wrote on his hand with a pen.

"There. It's tonight!"

The way Lucifer wrapped his arm around Adam gave him a much closer look at the shorter man's face. Adam could feel like he'd seen him before he was sent to the college or at least someone with a very similar face.

Adam shrugged it off. Adam remembered everything, so if he couldn't place Lucifer's face then he hadn't seen it.

Lucifer was holding the party at his place. It was large expensive house owned by his older brother who raised him since their parents died. Since his older brother was always away at his government job Lucifer started thinking of it as his place.

Adam did some research on what time was acceptable to arrive at a party. There was apparently something called being fashionably late.

He came when the party was in full swing.

"Adam!" Lucifer greeted with a bottle of alcohol in one hand.

Drinking that stuff lowered your body's rate to function properly.

Adam would *not* be drinking tonight. He brought a sealed plastic water bottle that he would pour into a red solo cup or something and pretend he was drinking.

Adam allowed himself to be dragged to a sofa where Lucifer sat him down. He was about to ask why when Lucifer plopped right on his lap. Adam froze, not expecting that of Lucifer. Lucifer smirked up at him and winked. Oh. Either Lucifer was the teasing type or he was flirting.

Adam didn’t know where the action was going to go, he didn’t want to ask just in case Lucifer would leave him. He didn’t dislike the action he was just rather confused about why it was happening

But when Lilith sat beside and slid a hand to his neck and gently squeezed....oh. Ooooohhhhh. That felt good.

Lilith smiled as she gently rubbed his neck and played with his hair. Adam melted I to the touch.

The scientists at Heaven never showed affection like this. He loved it.

No one was paying attention to them as Lucifer's hands found their way to his chest and massaged gently. Adam's eyes snapped open as a whimper left his mouth.

A goddamn whimper. He...he hadn't done that since Heaven tested his durability. But that was a whimper of pain. This...this felt good.

"Damn...I knew you had muscles but damn..." Lucifer muttered.

"Doesn't he look pretty? Such a pretty boy." Lilith murmured in his ear making him whine. Was...was this going too fast? It...he didn't know what to do.

When he felt buttons pop open from his shirt and stifled a moan when Lucifer's fingers found their way to his nipples. They pinched.

Adam did moan. It was quiet and breathy.

Adam heard Lucifer say, "Let's take this to a bedroom." He was guided away from the couch. Strong hands. Hands that squeezed and felt good.

Adam wasn't quite sure what they were doing, but he was good at following instructions. When he was gently pushed into a bed, he understood. They wanted sex. They taught him the basics at Heaven but he was a virgin.

Lucifer licked his neck while Lilith settled behind him.

"I just knew how innocent you'd be when I saw you." Lilith whispered huskily in his ear making Adam bite his lip. He was far from innocent in most things, but experiencing was different.

Lucifer chuckled and helped him out of his shirt. "Damn, you look perfect. You must have worked hard for these abs." He did. He worked for years through blood, sweat, and tears to get this body the way it was. But to hear it be appreciated by someone who wasn't for Heaven, made Adam blush and moan.

It sounded needy to his own ears. "Aw, he has a praise kink." Lilith cooed.

Praise kink? Adam blushed and squirmed a bit against their soft touches, Lucifer’s hands had returned to his chest.

“They’re so soft when you aren’t flexing,” Lucifer hummed as his fingers traced the man’s nipples once more.

"I wonder if I just—" A loud moan tumbled out as Lucifer pinched his nipples and twisted them. He felt his hips leave the bed, chasing something....something he didn't know, but his body was reacting to Lucifer's touch like fire to gasoline.

Lucifer blinked before smirking. Lilith chuckled into his neck.

“So sensitive,” Lilith hummed as she kissed Adams neck, Adam shivered and his hips made a small jerk. Adams lip trembled this was so different than what he trained for, he knew this could happen but it felt so different than what he imagined.

It felt good.

They pinched, caressed, and pulled on sensitive flesh. Adam was a moaning mess when he felt a warm mouth suck on his nipple.

"Let's see what other treasures you might have?" And Lilith slipped a hand into his pants and rubbed his ass.

By this point, he was pitching quite the tent and his vagina was pulsing and feeling so wet.

Lilith smirked as her fingers brushed over the ring of muscles, she had to do a small double take when her fingers dipped into Adams soaked pussy, the mans hips instinctively arched into her fingers.

Her eyes grew wide at the realization as she traced her fingers around Adams ass hole and pussy the small taint separating the two.

A squeak left Adam’s lips as he flet fingers brush his very sensitive vagina.

"Oh my god....do you have a pussy?" She asked shocked and very turned on by this.

Lucifer's head whipped up, surprised etching his features and it didn't take long for him to slip Adam’s pants off along with his underwear.

There, right below a proudly standing dick, was a drooling pussy. H-holy shit. He had heard of them. Hermaphrodites. Incredibly rare. And so very arousing...

Lucifer smirked up at Adam who was red-cheeked and breathing very heavily.

Lucifer’s mouth watered and he licked his lips as he gave Lilith a look, Lilith met the look with a knowing smirk as she pulled Adams's face to hers capturing his lips in a passionate kiss. Adam moaned

Adam had never been kissed before. This was so new and he was all to happy to let Lilith take the lead.

However, the kiss broke when Adam gasped and looked back to see Lucifer between his legs, when did Lucifer do that? Adam was barely able to soak in the view when Lilith pulled him back into the kiss and ravished his mouth, while curious fingers spread his weeping pussy.

Adam moaned, his eyes rolling into the back of his head. Fingers pushed gently, exploring new territory.

"I can't believe you have a pussy." Lucifer said. Pussy? Was...was that what people called vaginas? Why call it after a cat?

He lost his train of thought when Lilith forced her tongue inside his mouth, tasting everything.

They broke for air when Lucifer pushed more in.

"God, you look beautiful like this, your pussy spreading for me so easily."

"P-pussy? Do you mean vagina?" This causes them both to laugh leaving Adam feeling very embarrassed.

They chuckled and gave gentle kisses “so innocent,” Lucifer hummed as he scissored his fingers making Adam moan. “Would you prefer I call it your vagina or cunt?” Adam didn’t answer he felt embarrassed somehow.

“Aww it’s ok Adam don’t be shy,” Lilith glided his face back to hers “We just think it’s cute that’s all,” she kissed his lips but it was softer. Adam whined, he was cute?

He had never been called cute before. Deadly. Annoying. Perfect specimen. But never cute.

"Y-you think it's cute? I know it's not...normal." And that was the kicker, wasn't it? He would never be normal. Not really. He was essentially a test tube baby. He would never understand people simply because he wasn't made for it.

Lucifer and Lilith frowned as they looked at Adam, he was so red in the face he looked so beautiful.

Who the fuck would say he wasn’t normal?

“Adam you are so beautiful,” Lucifer said as he trailed kisses up Adams body, his hands rubbing circles on Adams hips.

“He’s right Adam you’re so perfect,” Lilith whispered as she peppered his neck with kisses, Adam moaned against the touches.

Adam squealed hard when he felt a mouth directly kiss his...pussy? Cunt? He didn't know what to call it anymore more but those soft kisses were driving his sensitive p-pussy wild.

Lilith chuckled and held him down with two hands while Lucifer smirked up at him.

"Have you ever been ate out before?"

Adam frowned, was he wanting to eat him? He shook his head. And Lucifer smiled as he swiped his tongue against Adam's folds, Adams's hips stuttered at the feeling he wanted more. Lilith smiled and kissed his cheek, “it’s going to feel really good,” she whispered.

Adam's legs wanted to close, but the feeling was too strong. But Lucifer’s hands kept Adams's shaky legs open

Lilith bit and sucked his neck, loving the little noises he made while the Lucifer's skillful tongue worked its magic.

Adam whimpered and whined. To Lucifer and Lilith, it was so hot to reduce someone as strong and capable looking as Adam was to a whimpering and moaning mess.

And to find out that Adam had a pussy and a dick? God, he truly was the best of both worlds.

Lucifer couldn’t get enough he wanted to be deep inside of Adam, he rolled his hips into the bed for some friction against his aching cock.

Lilith bit her lip, she wanted to see how much Adam could take. Maybe she could bring out her strap when Lucifer was done with him, or maybe she would teach Adam how to eat a woman out. She smirked at the idea as her hands found Adams soft muscular pecs. She hadn’t expected them to be soft as he played with them, watching how Adams hips tried to ride Lucifer’s face.

It was cute.

"Aw, are we getting desperate?" Lilith whispered with another kiss. Adam whimpered out the words, "I, ah! I need more!" Adam yelped when he felt *teeth* down there.

"What do you want Adam?"

"I-I don't know!" Adam cried desperately. "I just want more!" Lucifer snickered and sucked on his clit, knowing that it would drive Adam crazy and it did. Tears looked beautiful on Adam.

And Adam was so vocal, his moans were very much like music to the two ears. As Lucifer sucked the cute bud his fingers began to trace Adam's entrance as they dipped inside and began to thrust. Adam's eyes flew open and he gripped Lilith, his grip weak as his body grew hotter.

“That’s it Adam doesn’t it feel good,” Lilith said with a soft voice against his ear.

“Hot,” Adam whimpered into Lilith's neck as he got closer to climax.

He had read about it but never experienced it. Would this be his first orgasm?

Lucifer hummed, going a bit faster.

Lilith gently rubbed and pinched his sensitive chest while she licked his lips. "Cum for me Adam."

Adam did with a scream. He breathed heavily. As the two go out of bed. Was-was that sex? Were they done?

He gulped when he saw them strip. He forgot he was the only one naked. Both sported lithe muscles and by all accounts, he was the bigger and more muscled of the two, and yet he didn't mind them being in charge. Lilith and Lucifer smirked as they...stripped teased. Yes. He was taught this. If he needed to seduce someone, he would tease them provocatively and distract them.

But Lilith and Lucifer did so effortlessly. Soon, Lucifer was only in his boxers and Lilith in a lingerie set of purple.

"Adam, " Lucifer purred. "Will you help us strip?"

Adam got up on shaky legs, when he approached them Adam easily took off the woman’s bra to which Lucifer chuckled and showed Adam how to go slow. Adam followed Lucifer’s lead, slowly stripping Lilith of her lingerie.

“That’s it Adam, just a good boy,” Lucifer hummed.

Adam moaned at the praise. "Why don't we reward you?" Lilith climbed back into bed while Lucifer guided him until he was face-first into Lilith's breasts. They were, well, huge and Adam never realized how soft they would be.

Lilith chuckled and pressed his face closer, loving to see his embarrassed and flushed face in her bosom.

Lucifer bite his lip as he saw Adam's dick already hardening and pussy dripping again.

Adam moaned again when he felt Lucifer’s hands against his ass, feeling his pussy spreading the cool air against the heated flesh made him shiver.

"I can't wait to deflower you, baby boy," Lucifer growled as he sunk the tip in. Adam yelped and squirmed but Lilith held him in her surprisingly strong grip.

"That's it, baby. Doing so good. You're the best baby boy in the world."

There it was again. Baby boy. Why were they calling him that?

"Baby boy?" He moaned out while Lilith cooed at his fucked out face. Lucifer was going slow to give Adam some time to adjust to his enormous girth and size. She knew exactly how big Lucifer was and only someone who had experience could take him going wild animal on them.

Adam deserved it nice and slow. At least at first.

Lilith chuckled at his question. "Cute nickname, right?" Then she smirked mischievously. "Unless you prefer baby girl?"

Adam whimpered, he wasn’t a baby, he moaned when a particular thrust pushed him further into Lilith. It felt so big inside him, he whimpered and his training kicked in. He arched into the thrusts, and hugged Lilith for some kind of grounding as Lucifer rolled his hips into Adams sweet heat.

Lucifer’s view was amazing seeing how Adam’s pussy took him so well, he bit his lip looking at the tight ring of muscles above the entrance.

He wondered if Adam had a prostate. He’d have to do that another time.

Lilith was definitely going to be eaten out tonight. They found a treasure trove. A man with no hang-ups about sexuality or was judgemental about having a threesome. In fact, the only reason they were interested at first was because Adam looked and acted different from everyone else. He was an empty canvas and Lilith and Lucifer were going to be the artists. Plus, it helped that Adam was adorable. Who knew a seven-foot giant with muscles for days would be this subby in bed? He was the perfect sub.

Lucifer groaned when he finally bottomed out.

Adam whimpered against Liliths breasts, “Adam baby,” her soft voice called to him. “Will you make me feel good too~” Adam whimpered as the shifted putting Adams face right against Liliths soaked cunt, Adams mouth watered as he looked up at her for instructions.

“Go on Adam, give it a try,” Lucifer said from behind him. Adam hesitantly swiped his tongue against Lilith's soft folds making his insides clench around Lucifer’s cock.

"That's it. Why don't you go a bit deeper?" Lilith suggested with pink cheeks. Adam moved a bit closer and dragged his tongue across Lilith's pussy. She moaned and gripped his hair tightly, causing him to moan. He licked and sucked at her entrance, trying to bring up the diagram he was shown of the female anatomy. Hmm...there should be something called the clitoris somewhere...lick. "Ah! Yes! Right there!" Lilith screamed as Lucifer began moving again.

Adam tried desperately to make her feel good, he liked the way her moans made his insides twitch around Lucifer’s cock.

He sucked and licked trying to mimic what Lucifer did as much as possible, he moaned loud against her folds as Lucifer's thrusts began to grow faster.

Adam shoved his face deeper as Lucifer and Lilith moaned, reaching their own climax. Lilith gripped Adam's dick and rubbed it, causing him to squeal in overstimulation.

She bit her lip as he began crying again, giving her pussy little kitten licks.

Lucifer continued to roll his hips into Adam making sure to milk every last bit into the man as Adam reach overstimulated territory.

“So perfect,” Lucifer whispered as he ran a hand down Adams back.

“He really is,” Lilith agreed as she helped Adam cum, Lucifer bit his lip feeling how Adam's thrusts pushed Lucifer’s cock deeper into him.

Adam screamed the loudest when he came. Dick squirted cum onto Lilith's and his stomach while his pussy spasmed. He got a mouthful of Lilith's juice and he was quick to swallow it all.

"Baby girl is so good for us," Lilith said to Lucifer as they watched him whimper on her thigh, face covered in her orgasm.

"Aw, he's so cute like this. All fucked out and drooling." Lucifer pulled out gently and kissed Adam's back.

Adams legs gave out and his brain was fogged, was that sex were they going to leave him like this? Adam shivered when Lucifer fingered him cum back into Adams pussy.

“Such a good boy you are Adam,” Lucifer said as he helped Adam get more comfortable on the bed.

“Won’t you stay our baby girl Adam~” Lilith hummed as she and Lucifer looked down at his tired state.

"Mmmm....yesh." He slurred. He felt so protected right now and relaxed. He snuggled up and lied down on Lilith's plush breasts, yawning tiredly.

"Aw, so tired." Lucifer cooed as Adam fell asleep.

Everyone had trickled out, it was 2 am, and that meant they were alone. He came back and stripped out of his clothes before climbing into bed. He snuggled up to his girlfriend and possibly boyfriend.

"God, he's perfect. I can't believe we found him."

“Me too,” Lilith matched his excitement as they looked at their secret treasure. He was so perfect.

“We should clean him,” Lucifer said as he was about to get up.

“Nah I think he’s fine plus look how tired he is, we wouldn’t want to ruin his sleep,” Lucifer couldn’t disagree with her on that one. “Plus I read that hermaphrodites are mostly infertile,” she finished as she snuggled up to Adam, Lucifer shrugged and joined her.

Adam woke up to the sound of humming. He whimpered, God he was so *sore,* but still had his eyes closed. He was on something soft and warm. It felt like there were two warm...bodies next to him.

Opening his eyes, he noticed that Lilith and Lucifer were both asleep on top of him. They snuggled close to him, eager to soak in his warmth. He blushed when he realized they were all naked. It turned out the humming was just Lilith sleep-talking.

Adam blushed at them holding onto him. Especially since he was feeling his morning wood pop up along with Lucifer's which was poking his thigh.

He needed to get some water. He could tell he was dehydrated.

If you all liked this, there will be a part 2! Love you guys!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

cw: period/menstruation, scat and urine talk but not very explicit.

🔴🔴🔴

AITA for saying periods are gross?

Let me preface this by saying that I am biologically a woman and do get periods. Ages don't really matter but everyone in the story is an adult.

Basically I was talking with another girl friend of mine and the topic of periods and public bathrooms came up where I said something like "Ugh, used pads are so gross, I wish women at my office would wrap theirs in toilet paper before throwing them out so I don't have to see them when I go to throw mine out too." Which to me felt completely normal? I always wrap my pad with a piece of tp so it doesn't accidentally unwrap and I don't see why others at my office don't do that, though it doesn't really bother me enough to confront them about it, it's just a small annoyance that I thought I could share with a friend.

But then my friend started arguing with me, saying I shouldn't be calling periods gross? and that apparently it's a misogynistic thing to do?? Which to me felt completely insane because like... periods ARE gross? Like it's literally bloody chunks exiting your body, idk how else you could describe it.

But she still tried to explain to me how it's not gross and is just a normal, natural biological process, and women shouldn't be shamed for it, but like... so is shitting and pissing? Shitting and pissing are both natural and biological and happen to EVERYONE but it's still gross non the less (unless you're into that I guess). And just to clarify: I wasn't trying to shame my coworkers for HAVING periods, just like I wouldn't try to shame them for taking a piss or a dump, that would be dumb. I was just specifically complaining about them not cleaning up after themselves properly, the same way I would complain if I they didn't flush or something.

Lastly when my friend realized I wasn't being convinced she just huffed and said "Fine, I hope you have a nice life being grossed out by your own body." which is like... ?????????? Why would I be grossed out by my own body? Like, human bodies do a lot of gross stuff but that doesn't mean I'm grossed out by MY body. I don't know if this is uncommon or not but I don't feel grossed out when looking at my own period blood, or shit or most other stuff that comes out of MY body, but I still do get grossed out when I see other's people's stuff, which is why I was complaining in the first place. But she just didn't respond after that and the conversation kinda moved on.

Idk, I feel like I'm either super mega dumb and just don't get why what I said was wrong or she's just plain incorrect but that's why I'm asking for a third opinion here.

What are these acronyms?

[curtsycream]

My Heart Lingers in Italy

In which James Potter visits Italy for a school trip just to meet two girls that change him forever.

This is pretty short but it is only my first installment of this series if you want to call it that. It will be part of my summer project for my writing. So updates may be a bit slow but quality over quantity right? Anyway I hope you enjoy, it wasn’t beta read this time I wanted to get it out before I rewrite it completely or just scrap the idea. Also when they trade IDs it was supposed to be for Line and such like that but couldn’t find a face social media maker for that one, so yeah also English is not my first language so if my grammar or spelling is off I apologize in advance.

“Lily, where are we going?”

The two girls held hands as they weaved through a crowd of tourists. The streets of Verona normally weren’t so packed but it was tourist season. Smiling Lily tugs Y/N forward as the two girls walk, “Remember you said you’d go to Piazza San Zeno with me. I explicitly remember telling you last week when you were busy talking with Sienna.”

Y/N smiled broadly, “don’t tell me you were jealous again. You know you never have anything to worry about, she just wanted to know if I would be applying to universities outside of Italy. I told her I’m going wherever you go,” she whispered.

Ducking her head down Lily tried to use her hair to hide her reddened cheeks. “You’re so annoying sometimes, come on!”

The two girls, one smirking and the other blushing made their way to the open flea market. It was packed with locals and foreigners alike. Y/N waved to any and everyone she knew running different stalls. When Lily stopped walking she bumped into the shorter girl’s back.

“What’s the hold-up, Donnina?” Y/N glanced up to notice a group of teenagers. All about the same age as the two of them. But what stuck out the most was a group of boys playing around near a booth. Their playful nature was animated and rather funny.

Grinning she wrapped an arm around Lily’s shoulder, “oh I see it’s those tourists. They’re rather cute I’ll admit,” she commented.

“What do you think about that one?” Lily asked pointing at a bespectacled boy with dark hair.

Squinting Y/N finds herself analyzing the boy from his charming behaviors to his handsome looks. “Attractive,” it was simple but for someone like Y/N, it meant a lot.

Lily and Y/N knew each other inside and out better than most people did. So a simple compliment from Y/N meant she wanted to get to know him too.

“Should we talk to him?”

“What about that thing we rushed here for?”

“Aldo will be here next Sunday with the book I want to look at, should we talk to him?”

The urgency in her voice was clear, it hinted at her fear of passing up on what could be a once-in-a-lifetime deal. Nodding her head Y/N nods her head in his direction, “Let’s go.”

Pulling Lily along she smiled softly when standing in front of the boy. Up close he was much more handsome than she gave him credit for.

James was listening to Remus explain the difference between the two books in his hands to Sirius. He knew Sirius only did this to rile him up. Looking away from his friends he noticed two girls walking towards him. One was short and flushed and the other tall and grinning.

He would be lying if he said that he didn’t feel something. They were opposites of each other yet they looked so good together. Like that of sunshine and rain where together they equal out to rainbows. A balance is what they represent one that he wanted to be a part of. It was a strange feeling but it felt meant to be.

“Ciao,” he said without thinking.

The tall girl smiled with a laugh, “Ciao.” While the shorter one looked away before looking back at him with a smile, “Ciao.”

“I, I didn’t really pass Italian just enough to end up on this trip,” he explained. He felt as if he had to as if he owned them something.

“No it’s fine, we know English. Your accent British?” The tall one asked with just as much interest as a puppy. Her accent is thick as she speaks fluently and confidently.

“Yes, I guess the accent was very obvious,” he joked.

“That among other things,” the words from the shorter girl made him grin. Her voice was lithe sneaking up on his ears with agility. While the taller girl’s voice felt like velvet wrapping around his eyes blinding him with mystery. Both were opposite but equal in the effects they were having on his senses.

“Oh, what are these other things?” He asked leaning forward enough to smell figs and jasmine on her. A floral and fruity scent that made him lean back some.

“If I told you so easily it wouldn’t be as fun,” she told him.

“She’s always like this if you’re wondering, you’ll have to pry her secrets from her cold little hands to know.” The glint of amusement in the taller girl’s eyes was evident. Just like the smell of mint and lemon when she stepped closer to whisper that to him. The crisp and citrus scent was exhilarating like a cool breeze sweeping over him.

“I’ll keep that in mind for the next time we meet,” he tells her.

The confidence in his tone was enough to cause Y/N to look away. Lily found herself squinting at him, “who said we would meet again?”

“I can’t say for sure but I hope so,” he says. “You’re both really interesting.”

“We’ve said less than five sentences each,” she tells him. All he did was shrug a look of certainty on his face. His expression revealed it all as if he knew they would.

“Then let’s trade IDs?” He asked them.

“How do you even know we have the app?”

“I don’t, but I’d like to hope you do, red.”

Laying in her bed whilst looking up at her ceiling Lily sighs. Sitting up she glanced over at whom she deemed her other half. The other girl was sculpting something with clay her headphones probably blaring some loud music.

Each time Lily tried to sleep her mind would wander to the bespectacled boy they met. His charisma was refreshing in a way she had not expected. Though she denied it on the trip back home she did enjoy his company.

His words so easily teased and left her cheeks red. She couldn’t understand how he so easily did so. Before she could think longer about the British boy she felt arms snake around her waist. A head resting on her chest, “What are you thinking so hard about, Donnina?”

Weaving her fingers through the taller girl’s hair the ginger sighs. A look of contemplation on her freckled face. “That guy…the British boy. He’s not easy to forget,” she uttered.

Mulling over Lily’s words she agreed, “I get that..he’s very charismatic in a way. But under all that, there is this heart tug where you can’t help but enjoy his company.”

“Exactly!” Lily exclaimed as she brushed hair out of the other girl’s face. Her finger trailed down her forehead and along the bridge of her nose. “I wonder if that’s normal…to feel that way about someone you just met.”

Humming softly Y/N’s fingers ghost over Lily’s sides before resting on her hips. “Maybe it’s a British thing? To be so charming and have people eager to see them again.”

“I thought that was the French?”

“It’s all relative, or how do people say Greek to me.”

Lily snorted shaking her head, “I think this is why you shouldn’t skip out on your literature classes.”

“Why would I stop when I have such a beautiful tutor to teach me when I don’t show up for classes?”

“You’re such a flirt.”

“You wouldn’t have me any other way, donnina.”

Verona was beautiful at night, James remembered Remus telling him it was the city of Romeo and Juliet. A lovely Italian city where lovers can go and enjoy the sights around them.

Lover or not he had to admit that the city was more than he expected. The town with its medieval architecture and the meandering Adige river. It was hard for him to stop looking out of his window as the moon reflected perfectly upon it.

He could hear Sirius and Remus’ hushed tones within the room. The two had spent the day with James although James made it clear he was okay alone. He didn’t want to ruin the time his friends could have in such a romantic place together.

But he was grateful, sighing he glanced down his eyes finally leaving the river. People were still walking about outside conversing. he expected the nightlife to not be as active. From the morning and afternoon being busy with bustling marketplaces, piazzas, shops, and gardens. But from the way people were chattering and laughing it seemed there was more to the city.

For some reason he found himself watching a duo of two women. One tall and the other short both of them laughing and clinging to each other in their drunken state. He wondered if they did similar activities, or rather he wondered what they were doing now.

A small ding left his phone, his hand dived into his trousers pocket to retrieve it. A message from Y/N appeared on his phone, eagerly he opened it.

Typos are on purpose because they are messaging in English. To better clarify when it’s just Lily and Y/N speaking together it will be in Italian. I’ll better indicate that in the next installment, but Y/N is terrible at English but she tries. I’m such a sucker for this trio already.

[cstads-blog]

10 ᴛʜɪɴɢꜱ ɪ ʜᴀᴛᴇ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ | ʟᴇᴡɪꜱ ʜᴀᴍɪʟᴛᴏɴ 44

masterlist

summary: in which you and lewis broke up, and things that you once loved are now things you hate

a/n: this is my first fic so be nice plz, but leave some thoughts. ummm and i also have rewatched 10 things i hate about you like 285903925 this week so thats where i got this idea from the poem. and i love lewis, but i lowkey felt he was perfect for this sort of thing

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i hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair

lewis always had a soft voice. he never once yelled at you, always calm and cordial. even when you would fight, he would never raise his voice. it angered you. it was strange. you wanted him to yell at you. just to experience it. no one ever wanted their partner to yell at them, and they were jealous of you and lewis in this aspect of your relationship.

when you asked lewis why he never yelled at you, his answer was simple. he loved you. you don’t yell at people you love he would say. and then he would kiss you. the soft kiss he always placed on your lips when it was just the two of you. it was calming, comforting and it made you forget the battle you were having inside of yourself.

-

lewis had had his fair share of different hairstyles over the time you had known him and been together. some you favored more then others. he’d had a buzz, natural, braids. you loved when he left it natural, playing with the curls in between your fingers. which is why when he came home one day with braids you were a bit upset. its not that you didn’t like the braids, he looked amazing as usual, but you much preferred his natural curls.

as you laid in your bed beside him you started rubbing your hand up and down his neck, feeling the braids hit your hand whenever you moved up his neck. they were soft. you played with the ends of them, twirling them around your finger. lewis loved it. he loved when you touched his hair, it comforted him. he never wanted to lose moments like these.

i hate the way you drive my car, i hate it when you stare

lewis’s job was to drive cars, and to drive them fast. he’d been doing it practically his whole life. so naturally he was a bit reckless driving a normal car, on a normal road, surrounded by normal people. one night when you took your car out to dinner he was pushing the limits. trying to see how far he could go without breaking the law. it scared you. not for your safety or his, but for your car. your car was the first purchase you made of your own, with your own money. it was yours, you rarely let others drive it, but lewis was an exception.

“lewis you’re going to hurt the car” he would often hear you say when he was driving.

“don’t worry darling, its going to be fine. trust me” and you trusted him. you did. you knew he would never hurt your car. or you.

-

lewis had a habit of watching your every move. it wasn’t strange or weird to you, you loved it. lewis had that affect on you. every small action was one that you loved. everyone around always saw it too. when you would come to races and were in the garage talking to friends and family, he would watch you. how you interacted with people you were close with and even those you weren’t. that was another thing he loved about you. how you could get on with anyone. it didn’t matter if you knew them for fifteen years or fifteen minutes.

as he watched you, the smile on his face grew, only snapping out of his daze when someone came up behind him, touching his shoulder and pulling him away for a meeting.

i hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind

lewis had impeccable fashion taste. his outfits never failed to impress you and everyone else. except once, when he came out of the closet with a pair of of combat boots. you couldn’t help but laugh at his choice of footwear, expecting him to chose something more expensive and high end. but no, lewis was wearing combat boots.

seeing your reaction to his shoes made him smile as well and even though he was feeling content with his outfit, he went and changed into something different. he never got rid of the combat boots though. they sat in his closet and you never let him forget about it.

-

lewis had an incredible talent of reading your mind. he always knew what you wanted or needed without even having to say it. you often wondered how he did it. it took you at least five tries to even remember what his order was at the restaurant but he knew what you wanted before you did. part of you was angry with his little trick, but the other part loved that he knew so much about you and he could remember even the little things.

i hate you so much it makes me sick, it even makes me rhyme

you didn’t deal with anger or stress well. you often got sick when you were feeling either emotion. while lewis was practically the definition of a perfect boyfriend, he could still bring these two emotions out of you. when you would feel stressed with lewis’ actions he would often forget the petty argument or trivial thing he did and run immediately to you, to help you, to calm you down. it showed you just how willing he was to help you when you needed him the most.

i hate the way you’re always right, i hate it when you lie

lewis was never wrong. ever. no matter how many times you tried to prove him wrong, you couldn’t. he knew so many things about so many people and places, it was often hard to find a topic he wasn’t fluent in. when you would play trivia games out of boredom in your living room he would always get every question right, while you struggled to even come up with an answer.

-

lewis rarely ever lied to you, but when he did you couldn’t stand it. you’d been in unfaithful relationships in the past. lewis knew this, which was why he rarely lied. his only lies ever came after drunken nights out with his friends and he’d forgotten certain details, but small things like that made you nervous, not wanting to escalate to anything else.

i hate it when you make me laugh, even more when you make me cry

lewis was a very funny person. he made you laugh even without trying. that was what initially attracted you to him. he could make you laugh when you were happy, upset, scared, angry. he made you laugh about simple things he did. he often wasn’t trying to make you laugh, but seeing the smile grow on your face was enough to make him keep trying.

all he wanted was time see you smile, to see you happy.

-

you never cried tears of sadness around lewis, only happiness. they usually came when he did something great in racing or when you graduated university. you often cried when you saw lewis up on the podium, seeing the smile on his face, making you think about all of the hard work he had put into getting there. you would always admire him for that. his hard work, his dedication.

i hate it when you’re not around, and the fact you didn’t call

lewis was often away for work so you spent quite a bit of time alone. yes, you had his dog roscoe to keep you company but it wasn’t quite the same. the house was loud with silence, every small action making a seemingly larger noise then usual. it annoyed you. you missed lewis and you just wanted to be in his arms, with him, in whatever country he was in this weekend. but it wasn’t that easy. you had to work as well, you couldn’t just drop everything to go travel the world with him, even if you would like to.

-

lewis couldn’t always call you when he was away. with his busy schedule and a time difference, usually a quick text every few hours would have to suffice. you hated not hearing his voice for days. you just wanted to hear his soft voice, like a melody in your ears. he left you voice mails when he did call, but you couldn’t answer. you listened to them on repeat, trying to soak up his voice, capture it in your head until you could see him again. it would be sweeter to hear in person then over the phone so you had to wait.

and that’s what you kept telling yourself. it would be sweeter in person. thats how you dealt with the distance. you just waited for the time he was back in your arms.

but mostly i hate the way i don’t hate you, not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all

and that is how you end up here. standing in the corner of the crowded party you had gotten invited to by one of the other drivers you still kept in contact with after the split from lewis. you weren’t trying to be a downer, but seeing lewis again after so long had all of the memories flooding back, all of the thoughts and hopes and dreams you had together. he looked so happy. having fun and drinking with his friends. you remembered the times when you were right next to him at an event just like this. wrapped in his arms, the comfort they brought you. but then the bad came back, the end. you hated lewis, at least that’s what you told people. but you knew it wasn’t true. you had known it all along, just in denial you never admitted that fact.

but here, standing in the corner of this crowded room, is when you could finally admit it. you didn’t hate lewis hamilton, not even close. not even a little bit, not even at all.

[hyacinthdoll1315]

3.5 Months of Moth HRT

So, um, hi again! Not much has changed since last time but well, feel like I should be updating this more. a few things have changed. My eyesight is a bit fuzzier now. not enough to need glasses at least! but stuff that's really far away has gotten more, smudged I guess?

I called the doc about it since I was worried about having another eye infection (eww) but apparently, it's not too uncommon to occur by this point, something about the eyes beginning to split? I wasn't able to pay attention to much of it (been so scatterbrained(maybe some more tea will help?) but I did some looking into insect eyes and it seems to be the case? something about less resolution.

my sense of smells really strong now, and I'm starting to find it affecting my emotions. like, you know how ants have this smell they leave when foraging? it, kind of makes me hungry now. not that I've been sticking around ants much! I'm a moth through and through thank you very much! (paperyum)

the biggest thing I think is my skin? I'm not quite sure but it kind of feels, tight? and it's been drying out easier. like, wearing a suit that's too small. not sure what that's about, but at least my setae is still growing!

Well, silver lining I guess.

look, that's, not why I decided to write this though, I just. I feel used, in a way. and I need to write it.

So, about a week ago I went to hang out with my friends again. they've been nice and as cool as always, but, I don't know, there's this kind of, disconnect? like, Only Alice (Tea friend!) has really tried to understand while the others have kind of just acted like nothing changed and teased me a bit as normal. I guess it's just ribbing, but, I don't know, I've never really agreed with it.

but uh, we went to the mall, which was kind of nice, the others wanted to watch a movie and go to the arcade, and it was kind of fun? though a little overstimulating (too loud and the movie was boring) I kept getting weird looks the whole time though, and I just. why? they kept looking at me like, I was strange, which I sort of get, but some seemed creeped out, others disgusted.

I used to be pretty oblivious (I admit, I am kind of naive) but now I just, I couldn't stop seeing it. Even when we went to get food, there was this look in people's eyes like I was, wrong. I even heard someone call me a "freak of nature", though maybe they were talking to someone else? (no, it was about me, definitely).

I tried telling the others I wanted to go somewhere else but they just kept saying it was fine and we could go do something else first. I didn't even get to go to my favorite teashop out of fear of losing the group!

Eventually, we stopped at this ramen place and I remember we were mostly joking around a bit. I was having my salad (meat tastes a bit weird now), I don't remember it all. I think someone said something and I felt hurt, said something like, "I can't help it", I think it was about having to be a vegetarian, and I remember one of my friends just, poked the top of my head and laughed at me, something like "well duh, a moth like you doesn't eat much. don't worry about it, just follow the lights." or, something like that I just.

I felt sick. I quickly got up to the bathroom and I think I heard Alice chastising them but I don't remember. I just, needed space. The whole lamp thing is so annoying! like, everyone acts like moths always move toward light when there's so much more going on there! humans may not know how it all works, but it's definitely not just what people think it is, like some infatuation with it!

After that, I just wanted out. the others acted like nothing happened, but, I don't think I can keep hanging around with them anymore. like, they're my friends, you know? they should be there to help! and they do, or at least Alice does. the others just tend to joke around and be silly.

so yeah, that's what happened. they've tried contacting me with stuff like "Hey Emily, we didn't mean anything by it" "We were just joking, Em", or just "Hey Emily, you coming for our next dnd session?" I think I'm going to stop talking to them, just reduce contact, say I'm busy with other stuff, anything to stay out of, that, again.

I haven't gone out in a bit, just been getting my groceries, got my tea, and been trying to relax. I just hope I can find people who can better understand.

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[romaevelizz]

˖ ࣪⊹ She

K. BAKUGO x Fem!reader ˖ ࣪⊹

Sum: you mean everything to him.

Warnings: angst, Cursing reader is ment to have a water qurik(like katara from ATLAB).

.˚₊‧ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ‧₊˚.

He could look at you for hours, the way you helped the people around you. You were a kind nature that Katsuki didn’t mind, how your hands held him as you healed his wounds the liquid surrounding wounds.

Your smile was intoxicating his face always softening as you offered him a smile, how you said his name greeting him.

He remembers the first time you hugged him, right after the villain attack when he was kidnapped. He remembers the smell of your perfume the floral scent lingering on your body. Your arms wrapped around his neck so securely as if he was going to be taken from your grasp any second. The soft sounds of your worried cries and you spoke to him, his arms wrapping around you.

With you he was comfortable. With you he felt safe.

The sound of your laughter was alway his favorite, the way you threw you head back as you laughed the brightest of your smile becoming obnoxious. But he loved it. He loved that you laughed at the things he said and that you talked to him like a normal person. Not like he was someone helpless, egotistical, or even weak.

He’d never give up the chance to talk to you, your voice was so calming to his ears. The things you told him to never say a word he promised the two of your pinkies linking your lips and touching your hand as if it was to lock the secret forever as he did the same.

He thought he’d be okay if one day your started laughing with someone else, but he wasn’t. Especially when it was with him. When it was with Midoriya.

He heard less and less of your voice, the gorgeous sound of your laughter. He hated that Izuku was now the one that got to hear it. How that fucking nerd came in and took you from him.

It hurt, fuck it hurt so bad when you told him. “Izuku asked me out! Oh my god can you believe it kats!” You smiled enthusiastically, your hands covered your face as you squealed in excitement.

He could only sit there and smile as his heart broke. You weren’t going to be his forever. Just because he was too much of a pussy to tell you how he felt.

He sat on your bed as you tried in different outfits and you looked beautiful in every single one, the look of nervousness was displayed on your face as you rambled to him about how would end up doing something stupid and that Deku might never look at you again.

Taking a deep breath he stood up and approaching you, the smell of your perfume was the same it gave him a headache knowing that he would get to be this close to you.

Your eyes met his your body facing him slumped, “what if I mess it up Suki..” you mumbled.

His fans held your face making you look at him “You’re stupid if you think you’re gonna mess anything up, if anything it’s gonna be that nerd that dose. And he’s a fucking idiot if Deku doesn’t look at you, you’re gonna be fine y/n. You look amazing.” His words were sincere, his voice soft as he spoke to you.

You smiled, why do you do this to him? He wanted to cry, his arms wrapped around you as you hugged him his hold tightening. “Everything gonna work out for you.” He whispered.

Even with his heart heavy he could never let that get in the way of how your smile affected him, even with your hand interlinked with Midoriyas.

Now he waould admire you from afar, he’d have to listen about your new boyfriend. Because he was your best friend. Because even when you were next to him he couldn’t feel more far apart from you.

He knows that he’ll never be the only one to know you better, Izuku would. That you would tell your secrets to Izuku not him. That your smile and laughter would be because of Izuku, not him.

To him you smelle like lavender and rain, you tastes like coffee and apples. Now he would see the two of you together in Polaroid pictures you have together that were hung on his wall with other pictures and posters.

To him you mean everything to him.

Yes you mean the fucking world to Him Katsuki Bakugo. And if you ever needed him again he would be right there for you because you were all he wanted.