#but when i talk about being low empathy sometimes i get people going 'wow i feel like this too' and sometimes | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

the-firebird69 · 1 month

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Cuteeee! #motorcycle #cute #motovlog #bikeshort #viral #trending #top #s...

This is habitual offender she does grow stuff she's very evil and mean and a lot of these people are and they find what our son says to be very weird but they see that it's got monsters and real ones and ones that go inside you and it's still sale such a dumb things and he says I can kill you right now and really he has the power to Christina to stop saying that stuff I really do and that woman told people said you know he's at his limit and at one point this place might catch on fire and he can do it isn't hard he just wants us to stop for raining him harassing him bothering him since you guys want to kidnap me so what so what I'll never be able to she got that too and said they're they're really dumb it's a problem so she told a bunch of people they started talking they said we have to get some of these idiots out of here you can help get him out and so they can move cuz this sucks real bad that's why I said to do

*yes Chrissy we have a solution and I am speaking to them and I know what it is and it is to take a 250cc Chinese Enduro usually priced from like the magician at 1200 to a hawk which is sometimes the higher end ones are 1700 and you take it and you lower it and you put smaller tires and rims on these the tires and rims that comes with it I take her 24-in tires and it's pretty big and you go down to like 20 inch tire and that's what I have in my small eBay around there and the rims of course be smaller and you have to change out your sprockets so you get some speed and I suggest putting on a towel that is like the Ducati if you can't at all jacket it for a cooling that'll increase horsepower and put on the dot exhaust when people complain because the smaller cc bike doesn't go like the ninja and things like that that Chrissy likes a lot but I'm told that when you modify it like this you put on decent street tires little low profile and wider you're going to end up going about 200 mph and that was Zeus and Hera

I do appreciate it and it's not me in the bike it's someone like me but I'm kind of parts and I kind of getting a little testy and it's going to suck and everybody's messing up and we always pay for it and we're not doing it and that's how it is I guess being like him and we don't like people for it you're not peacemakers like Dolores was we need her back and we need Camilla back as herself this is terrible the max are doing it we need proof and our guys are thinking of running this mission they should and people like Trump should they got ruined by them and I like this bike the one they're talking about this one is gigantic and my nephew here says you can't ride that thing his legs are justified his legs are as long as hers and it's true he's got some short legs leaving with longer legs he says the bike is heavy and it not only that is center of gravity is way too high for the street and the girl said what do I do is try to lower it and lower it until you're comfortable that thing is massive I can't ride that thing even if I sit on it that doesn't go down that much so she's like this wow this thing is sprung and she lowers it I heard a really I've done it before and it works it really rides much better but if he lowered it it's still suck he's too heavy up top and I'll tell you this bike would be nice even for him he says the 250 I've tried it before I get 185 miles an hour and I soup it up a little empathy exhaust and a jacket and I put the towel and I get 220 one stuff's pretty good my stuff is pretty good but on average to get 200 to 210 you have to soup it up a little but the top end is kind of crappy stock but really the only go 70 miles an hour and you change the sprockets and it goes fast and you lower the center of gravity in the west wind resistance and you put a little windshield like here I know like that little bike one had I'll tell you why there's a business and he says it all the time it's a business I need to do it and my people need it I need it weaning and then come on looking really cool like the bronze shot like he likes and he likes it shock that's colored because they came out with high performance shocks on dirt bikes and he wanted to get them and he couldn't afford them now that's a sad story but that's what it is inside and races and thought they're really cool probably why these things are so high up in the air supply made with a huge wheel the giant ones from ages ago so we're going to head with this and I'm going to start buying these Chinese bikes and modifying them and it really would drop it down like four inches you still have three inches of travel it's ridiculous and it's not that much softer it just works well with our weight and you change a few things too The handlebar is kind of suck it's like a BMX bike and you put a towel in there we have tons of those things and they work great I mean you would be surprised and the seats kind of messed up for the use and you change that a bit the guys like that seat but okay we like Quincy are wider Jesus Christ few people suck your assholes I can't stand you anymore you have to get out of here especially you Trump and son you suck so bad none of us want you elected a lot of your own people are turning on you you can't figure it out at all and you have these evil plans you keep telling him for him that kid's going to end up killing you fully if you don't die some other way and he says not to worry he's going to have him killed and it's over for him and he's getting him to do it I do see it too you're going to die as his brother cuz he caused so much hatred in him a few and I'm going to help cuz I can't stand you anymore no one can stand you too nobody should know that way to people loser asking him to kill you that's what you're doing all your people are dying cuz you're freaking huge hose bag I'm putting the recommendation in that we move you out of here

Crissy

That our friend here says you're nonsense Trump that's all you are in there you're a mean person and yeah I'll kill you if I have to he says to defend myself we will too then we have and you're an idiot he saw what you're doing with the key and he couldn't believe it you're sitting but really you like to live in a mental hospital throughout your whole life you treat life like that you act like a metal patient and people should put you away I'm writing my recommendation to do that too

Bg and bja and others are coming in their Midwest to take all your stuff that they can get at everything cuz you just sit there letting him walk and we're going to your stashes and caches taking the robots cuz you're doing nothing I just want to hit things from space and you can't get there and it won't work it never does and you're an imbecile we need you out

We're going to kick him out but really Jason is going to and he needs to leave too he's a dead piece of s*** and he's gross last time we talked he was eating his own organs as he was laying there and he had like no stomach and he was eating his organs and they're falling out of his body after he was chewing it up I've had enough of this stuff these people are zombies and they're sick we need them out they're gross and the motorcycle idea is great but you can't do it with these pieces of s*** here and really we need to get them hell out of here we need them out tonight it's all going to make a motion everybody who wants them out we're going to have a meeting and we're going to talk about it I can't stand this anymore these people had to leave years ago they're so rude to him sitting there in a helicopter waiting for him to come by I mean what a bunch of s*** they dish out everyday next to him tell him off and he's he's taking care of his people and so he can get to him and he tells him right to his face right in his ear and I can see him doing it at the laundromat and the guy doesn't even flinch he's so damn dead and dumb he says don't come back here cuz you'll be gone if you do and he said that to him he came back and he died like 20 times I tell you what he's got power and these people don't listen and they're listening now is not true he's devouring them with whatever these caves are and he says it's for the project and it's approved by the max except they can't get to the Giants so they want to take whatever work we're doing but I'm amazed this is some b******* attitude that they have too so you can't tell if it's true or not cuz this guy next door is such a wacko I'll tell you what he's the one who encouraged him to go for all the stuff and it's a little bit beyond what we should have it but he knows about it which is stupid and very bad these guys can do all sorts of stuff and you don't know what damn thing about them Trump you're you're an ignorant person regarding them we saw Dave do amazing things and this guy is stronger saves his father when he was a baby when he was like 2 years old he lifted up a car I don't see you lifting up a car ever again and I've never seen you lift up a car John reavillard you're a fat f****** loser and we repeated until it gets on there so people can see what you're blocking you saved a lot of people he's getting tired because you keep on flogging him like some sort of f****** loser we're going to execute you and we're going to crucify you we heard you influenced it we have facts now and you ran around others and Woody harrelson is turning States evidence for exposing us and having the Bible written

Mac daddy

Olympus

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dani-is-a-pixie · 3 years

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Shit they don’t tell you about Autism/Aspergers

Well, I’ve been learning more and more about different signs of being neurodiverse and I thought I’d put my own experiences here just in case it might be able to help someone else understand their diagnosis or themselves better. If you feel you have Autism, please speak to your GP or doctor to be able to talk to a professional because like all things, self diagnosing isn’t a good idea, ya feel me. - Let’s talk clothing b. Yes, so basically Autistics like to dress more comfortable, probably hate things like tags (I used to cut them off) and might only wear certain fabrics. Some people might wear certain colours only as well. Although, the general thing is that Autistics “aren’t expressive” you’ll find a lot of Autistics are and that might be reflected through their alternative clothing choices. Another thing is you might have very sensitive skin, washing powder can cause rashes and itchiness, you might not even be able to use soap. - Hair. Hair is so gross. So basically you might feel that having your hair in your face is so annoying. Ever since I was little I always remember just tying my hair up and leaving it like that. Wanting short hair to avoid it touching your face because of sensory issues. Although, you might like to have it coloured and expressive you might struggle to have your hair down because it just feels so gross. In relation to hair when washing it you might hate the sensation of shampoo and water and all that. - Although, being very monotone is a sign of Autism being very expressive is also a sign. The thing is I feel a lot of Autistic people without the correct support have probably got a diagnosis of depression or anxiety and I feel like that combined with feeling Autistic might make it hard for you to put any energy into things, whereas you know you are a expressive person. Also you probably have hella empathy. I know that is like the opposite of what you hear but seriously, myself and some other people I know with Autism are very empathetic people and feel emotions to an extreme. Although, it might not seem like we feel anything from facial expressions and responses we might be feeling so much it’s just too overwhelming to express it. - Let’s talk acting like a child. Not saying this to dig because I’m the same way, but most people who have Autism might regress into a childlike state which is known as age regressing. It’s usually a coping mechanism to deal with stress but I suppose it could also be triggered by sensory issues? Like I find when I’m really happy I’m very childlike. Oh and you might act younger then you are or be really immature, not always taking things seriously or understanding things. Which is okay and why having a specialist to help support you with the stuff you struggle with is key. - Stim. Stim. Stim. We hear about happy stim, sad stim but honestly you might just stim for every emotion. Also people with Autism might seem like they have tics but they can have vocal stims as well as motor. - Gender is complex right? Yeah I feel you. Feel like you flucuate between genders, have no gender, feel in the middle or might even be trans - although, this is a sensitive topic Autistics actually are more likely to have different relationships with gender due to how we view and feel about the world. So whatever gender you are b, you are valid! - Identity is confusing. The thing is you might feel like you have alters or different versions of yourself as well, which is why Autism is not diagnosed and you might be diagnosed with BPD or like DID. The thing is identity for us is always so confusing and we have such a different relationship about things about ourselves and how we view things. Sometimes it feels like someone were not and sometimes we feel like a different person, but that is okay and valid. - Control as a stress management. Now this is where things like eating disorders can be developed, maybe self destructive behaviours like self harming or perhaps being very toxic to keep everything the way you can because you feel like your life is going out of control. I really do feel you - and that’s why seeing a specialist can help you cope with shitty times like this. But that is a sign. - You have a safe space. Probably your house, your room and you barely leave it. You feel so fucking overwhelmed outside. Too many people, too many noises, too many things going on, which is why Autism can seem like an anxiety disorder but you just feel things very sensitive and can have sensory overload. - If you’re an adult now, probably as a child you were told you were just intelligent and there’s nothing wrong with you. Yep. Same here. Parents tried to get me diagnosed as a young age but they wouldn’t even test me. - For me, I cannot stop listening to music. I express myself through music. I’ll send people songs and tell them to pay attention to the lyrics or the video because it’s how I feel and it’s how I express myself. Some people might do that with art or writing or something they use to express that isn’t vocally with words, people might sing or make songs. There tends to be a creative or different way you express your emotions. - Special interests. They might change throughout your life. I thought you had to have something you were interested in since a kid but they can change and it’s known as hyperfixations! It can be literally anything, and they are valid. You probably hate talking to people if they don’t share one of your hyperfixations because you feel misunderstood or weird or lonely. Doesn’t have to be anything out of the ordinary. - Might blurt out how you feel to people, like having no filter. You like to have deep meaningful relationships and want friends you can talk about your deep routed emotions and dreams with rather then wow there is something on the news. That shit doesn’t interest you at all. - This might be an embarassing one but you might have a lot of issues with going to the toilet (ie. bleeding or runny stools and etc), especially when you’re stressed you might have really bad stomach issues or abdomen issues. That aren’t always explained but are probably stress induced when everything is too much for you, people tend to be more sensitive to those types of things if they’re Autistic due to sensory and sensitivites. - Meltdowns can be shown in crying breakdowns, anger breakdowns, can also be shown as completely shut down and you might experience catatonia, where you struggle to talk or move because you feel so sad, you might get so worked up and might even feel as low as feeling suicidal and might self harm as well when in these meltdowns. - You hate injustice and you probably are an advocate for the mentally ill or disabled. Seeing injustice might actually trigger a meltdown because you want to change things - due to your extreme empathy but you struggle to accept you can’t save the world. - Might have fake friends but as you grow older might cut those people off for using your energy and might end up with having barely any to no friends. Might feel extremely lonely and not understand why people can’t just be nice to you. - Relationships you probably take very seriously, like full on planning marriages when it might just seem like nothing to someone. This can make you prone to abusive relationships and you might not always notice if that person is good for you, no matter what they do you probably try to continue to fix the relationship. Took some notes from p-3a-s-life-resources <3 and personal experience.

#autism #asperger #aspergers #neurodivergent #neurodiverse #shit they dont tell you #signs #mental health #awareness #information #oh heck this is long

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100hearteyes · 3 years

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Part 2 of Clarke And Lexa Make a Porno, because why the fuck not.

Part 1.

"No. Absolutely not."

Anya's wolfish grin is no good omen. Lexa feels a sense of dread wash over her and tries in vain to assuage her nerves by holding her friend's gaze. Anya wouldn't look this sure if she didn't have some card up her sleeve.

Lexa throws a furtive glance around, checks that her co-workers are still focused on the German porn telenovela. It's only when she's sure that the action on-screen will keep them rooted for a while that she turns back to Anya, trying but failing to meet her eyes.

She overcompensates with another glance around the room and a low hiss. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but am I not too," she licks her lips, gathering the courage, "'vanilla' to do it?"

Anya shrugs like it's a no-brainer; crosses her arms and props her booted feet on Lexa's desk. "That's exactly the point. You're a lesbian Disney princess. Pretty sure if you started singing the whole fucking fauna of Capitola would follow you around."

Lexa levels Anya with a glare and tries to push her feet off the desk, to no avail.

(Seriously, what's it worth being editor if she can't even have her subjects' respect? She wishes this job was less about the headaches and more about the self-indulgent moments of microscopic tyranny.)

The feet might not budge, but Anya will. Lexa is sure of it. She draws herself taller and tucks on her most authoritative scowl. "I won't do it."

Anya plucks an imaginary cigarette from her mouth and throws it away without a care in the world. She reaches behind her and drags forth a heavy wooden box, filled to the brim with—

"My vinyls."

Lexa is in a daze.

She thought she'd lost all her vinyls to time and moving. She mourned each one of them for at least a year, cried many a night away clutching her record player to dear life, lamenting their shared loss.

They had a real connection.

But it turns out her vinyls weren't lost after all, and her tears were for naught. They were safe all along, albeit in different hands, and she'd known nothing of it, like a mother who lets her children wander about without aim nor authority.

How can she ever have kids if she can't even take care of her prized vinyls?

Lexa feels a prick of self-righteous indignation at the betrayal and puffs out her chest. "Why do you have all my vinyls?"

"I think you mean all my vinyls," Anya corrects with a lazy flurry of one hand towards the box.

"You don't even own a record player."

"How the fuck would you know?"

Lexa raises an eyebrow at her friend. "I come over all the time?"

"I could hide it while you're there."

"And then you'd never find it again, because that's what happens every time you try to hide something from me."

Anya shrugs and watches as Lexa picks one of the vinyls and turns it over in her hands, reading the track list on the back with the reverence one would a millennium-old parchment. Then she looks up at Anya with a stern glare.

"Over half of these were stolen from my house."

Anya shrugs again with infuriating nonchalance and Lexa wishes she had a pencil nearby just so she could snap it in two with one hand. Or stab one of Anya's eyes with it.

"Maybe I just rescued them from the actual malefactor," drawls Anya.

"We both know the real culprit sits across from me and has been wearing the same socks for the past three weeks."

Nailed it.

When she looks at her friend, however, all she sees is that same old resting bitch face that never seems to go away.

"Wow, Lexa," Anya deadpans. "Now you've really hurt my feelings."

Sometimes, Lexa wonders if Anya really has a rock where her heart should be. A supernatural, blood-pumping rock, of course, but a rock nonetheless. Or, maybe, Anya is a psychopath. Maybe the blood money theory wasn't so far-fetched after all. That would explain the brazen lack of empathy for everyone else's feelings, most of all Lexa's. What does it say about Lexa that her one true friend is someone who sneezes literally every time Lexa says 'I love you'?

Not that Lexa says it a lot. Only once or twice every few years.

Just enough to have noticed the pattern.

"Are you really trying to blackmail me with vinyls?"

Anya fakes an affronted gasp, laying a hand on her heart. "Would I ever. Think of it as... an incentive."

Lexa really does love Anya, despite her friend's... unique demeanor. Anya helps her come out of her shell — by taking up all the space and forcing her out of her own metaphorical home — and every once in a while she likes to make sure Anya is aware of her gratitude. Sometimes, though, things get really fucking weird.

Lexa would still do anything for her best friend.

"Let's imagine, hypothetically - very hypothetically," she stresses, although Anya's burgeoning smirk tells Lexa she isn't so easily fooled, "that I agreed. What would happen next?"

Anya takes her feet off Lexa's desk and sits up straighter, perhaps aware of the importance of this moment. This, Lexa decides, will determine her answer.

"Well first, I'd have to get you a costar. Then we'd sign some legally binding shit, find a crew, and make the damn movie. Simple as that."

Anya leans forward, looking into her eyes. In Anya's, she sees honesty and a pressing need to reassure. It takes some of the pressure off her shoulders right away.

"Look, Lexa, you can say no. But your name won't be on anything related to the movie and I promise no one in this shitty town will ever find out you did this."

This is why Anya is Lexa's best friend. And it's why Lexa would do anything for her.

Even star in a porno.

"Okay."

Anya's inner smile must be really, really big, because Lexa knows how hard she tries to tamper its outward expression — and still her lips manage to lift into a grotesque grimace. Coming from Anya, it's the equivalent of a blissful grin.

"Okay?"

Lexa nods and closes her eyes, bracing herself for a bone-crushing hug. It never comes. When she opens her eyes, Anya's resting bitch face is back on.

"What, did you want a fucking hug?"

It's a blessing to have her rude friend back, Lexa guesses, because seeing Anya almost smile is fifty shades of unsettling. So she rolls her eyes and rolls with it.

Her next question demands her full focus, lest she makes an even bigger fool of herself than usual.

Lexa breathes in, makes sure all her co-workers are still otherwise entertained, breathes out. Smooths out a non-existent wrinkle in her pants, wets her lips for courage.

"Anyway," she treads with caution, "do you have someone in mind for the other main role?"

It's fitting that Harper McIntyre's hit song One More Betyreyal (one of her less inspired titles, if Lexa may say so) starts playing in that moment, for the look in Anya's eyes speaks of nothing but danger. Lexa wonders how much planning went into this conversation, so Anya could plan all her gut punches in advance.

"Clarke Griffin."

No. No. Anyone but her.

Clarke Griffin is the new recruit, although Lexa hardly understands how there can be someone new considering the station is broke and they’re already overstaffed — and none of them make nearly enough money for how much they laze around all day.

Clarke came from out of town with a fancy degree and was directly hired as an editor. She voices the early afternoon newscasts and Lexa curses the one-hour period during which she's forced to cohabitate with Clarke every day.

Apparently, Clarke had taken a liking to unnerving her, be it by smirking at her every time she catches Lexa staring or by making all sorts of inappropriate comments — to her ear. Lexa hates how much it affects her, but how can she possibly focus on reporting about Lionel "Real Sight" Foster swallowing his own wooden eye or how Jasper Jordan rescued his own private parts from the jaws of two slats of an unassuming park bench if someone keeps doing everything in their power to distract her?

Lexa has a theory (an iron-clad theory, if she may say so herself), and it's that Clarke is trying to get her fired so she can take her shift. It's the best shift of the day. There is no other possible explanation.

"You know what, I take it back. Now you need to convince two people to star in your porno."

"Oh, there's no need." Anya waves her argument away with staggering nonchalance. "Clarke's already said yes."

Wait, what? "But you told me we'd need to get me a costar."

Anya shrugs and Lexa is now seriously considering revisiting her psychopath theory. "I lied."

"You conniving, lying b—"

"Careful," Anya cuts in with a raised eyebrow. "I am under protection of the Capitola Astrologers Union."

"Of which you are president, treasurer, and the only legal member," Lexa reminds her. "And I think any upstanding judge would love to know how exactly every other name on the list has joined said union posthumously."

"I am an astrologer, Lexa. I can communicate with the dead. It's in my job description."

"It scares me that you're not even aware you're describing an entirely different profession."

Lexa sits back, staring at the ceiling (and the chewing gum Murphy glued there a year ago — he could've been an Olympic jumper if he committed to work the way he does to being an asshole), trying to come to terms with a single, harrowing probability: she's going to star in a porno with Clarke Griffin.

"l don't understand why it has to be Clarke."

Anya leans forward, propping her elbows on her knees, expression serious and ready to talk shop. The last time Lexa saw her like this was— actually, Lexa doesn't think she's ever seen Anya like this.

"Look, I've done some market analysis and most girl on girl pairings are a blonde and a brunette." Anya raises both her hands and starts counting off fingers, "Brittana, Petramos, Holstein, Wayhaught, Supercorp, Joanarty, Choni, the inaptly named Shoni, Deanoru, Dana and Alice, Bette and Tina, Catradora, Villaneve, Clexa—"

"What's Clexa?"

"I don't know, some chicks from this fucking terrible CW show."

"Do you like it?"

"Do I like what?"

"Clexa."

"Dude, I don't even know their fucking names!" Anya exclaims, exasperated. As if she's the victim here. "The only Clexa I ship is you and Blondie. Naked. On my porno. Clarke and Lexa. Clexa. Havin' very hot sexa."

"Smart," Lexa deadpans.

"I know."

"Why can't it be Niylah? She's blonde, too."

Anya's smirk is five hundred shades of gross. "I know you'd love to get up close and personal with Niylah's knick-knacks, but no."

Lexa decides to let the comment fly for the sake of her own sanity.

"Why Clarke, though?"

"Because you two have chemistry, you fucking dimwit."

Lexa snorts. Chemistry. Lexa has never heard of something so absurd. She and Clarke have as much chemistry as Harper McIntyre and any semblance of originality.

Which is to say, none at all.

"She makes very inappropriate comments," she argues instead, knowing full well that pressing on the topic of chemistry will only open way for some trademark crass joke from Anya.

"Yeah," her friend agrees, like it's obvious. "Because she knows you love them."

She most certainly does not.

"I most certainly do not."

"You do. Your freakishly tiny ears go red whenever she flirts with you. Your step falters when she makes one of those comments, for fuck's sake," Anya observes, pointing in Lexa's general direction, before leaving forward and laying a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry to tell you this, but you, my friend, are a walking lesbian cliché."

Lexa takes Anya's hand off her shoulder. "Can you please stop insulting my tragically conspicuous homosexuality?"

"Oh please," Anya scoffs. "I'm bisexual, I can say whatever I want."

"If my step actually faltered - which they don't - it would be because her comments are annoying, off-putting, unprofessional, inopportune, and... and inappropriate", she finishes lamely.

"And you fucking love them."

"I don't."

Anya leans back on her chair with an evil smirk, propping her feet on the table and crossing them at the ankles. Lexa tries to push them off to no avail.

"Legalities aside, it's very simple. Clarke has already said yes. I just recorded you saying yes."

Lexa sputters, "You what--"

"You're both legally bound now." Anya shrugs. "Look at it this way: it will be very educational. You'll finally learn how to make a girl come, and get paid for it. Sort of."

A beat of silence.

"Anya, are you aware that you say something at least vaguely criminal every five sentences? Something that could actually put you in prison?"

Anya clicks her tongue, sinking farther into her chair, and lowers her sunglasses to her eyes.

"I've got friends everywhere, Lex. Let's just say I've dipped more than my fingers in my fair share of pies, if you catch my drift." A second later, she lowers her sunglasses just enough to reveal her eyes. "That means my tongue. My tongue's been in a lot of pies, too."

Lexa doesn't doubt that for a second.

"What I need to know is," Anya adds, taking off her sunglasses and throwing them across the room, "will you dip your fingers in the porn pie?"

Like this conversation hasn't caused enough trauma for thirty lifetimes.

"If I say no, will you still give me back my vinyls?"

"Absolutely fucking not."

Lexa swallows, clenches her jaw, and thinks of all those lonely nights spent in the couch clutching her record player and sharing cookie dough ice cream with it, longing for long-gone times when she'd dance to the mellow voices of the likes Billy Ocean and Ella Fitzgerald.

"My answer is yes."

#that moodboard is way too serious for this lol #clexa #clexa au #clexa fic #clexa fanfiction #clexa fanfic #calmap #my fics #mine

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7soulstars · 3 years

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hey there. I don't know if you are taking requests rn so if you don't just ignore this one. I was hoping if you could do various avengers x reader .. reader has the ability to manupilate emotions , she can take away emotional pain, negativity and sadness from anyone and replace them with relief, positivity and peace, by simply hugging the person! every avenger turns to her after a mission for cuddles and comfort, you can take it from there if you like! thank you💞

Hey darling ! Thank you so much for requesting! I really really love this request it’s really so adorable oof- I made it into a fic and I hope you like it! Anyways, lets get straight into into it !!

Euphoria

Pairing: Avengers x Avenger! Reader

Warnings: Little like really little angst, Hydra, Overwhelming fluff, Half the Avengers act like literal babies around Y/N . I HAVE ALL THE AVENGERS SAFE AND ALIVE IN THIS AND AVENGER LOKI !! Ooc characters??

Summary: Sometimes even the empath needs empathy but she refuses to say it

............

Euphoria ; the experience of excitement and intense feelings of well-being and happiness.

A silent motion walks down the streets, a silent motion called The Empathic Soul that was involved with them, The Avengers. While the rest protected, she distracted, like a guardian of the common folk who had never seen her. They wouldn’t know, but they praised, thanked and loved. Every time there was pain, there was war, there was casualties, she was there and they just knew it. They looked around but couldn’t guess. The sudden wave of calmness replacing their sorrow and panic distracting their attention from her, their silent protector.

That was what the world had named Y/N, The Empathic Soul as she watched the title flash on the TV screen at Stark towers as she sat beside Vision who was failing to crochet no matter how hard he tried. Y/N wouldn’t consider herself a hero, she didn’t fight bad guys although she was very capable of doing that, she didn’t go and almost get herself killed for the sake of getting rid of ‘pests’.

But she was an Avenger ? Yes. She was, but she didn’t consider herself a hero.

She was behind the scenes, away from common eyes just there to clean up the mess and to take the worry of the mess out of everyone’s head. The Avengers had a polarising reputation. Although it got better after they won against Thanos there were still those who disliked them. But there was not a single civilian who would speak out the title of the Empathic Soul in despise. Y/N would like to keep it that way she had told Fury. She didn’t really have the best life growing up, the strain had given her the powers and she wouldn’t dare use it for anything other than the good of the people. She knew protecting someone came with a cost. Her powers can be used for things unimaginable, wrong things and that’s why she needed to stay anonymous.

Though not all praises about Y/N may be true, one thing was for sure. She was a gem, one of the most selfless person anyone had ever met. With or without knowing about her powers. She couldn’t stand seeing someone sad and that is what made her the sole person every single Avenger was ready to get along with each other for.

Y/N had been a part of the team for 3 years now and she had made all the trauma dissipate and had even managed to make the most unapproachable team mmates open up. She had made sure Stark Towers was always warm and fuzzy no matter how cold the world seemed.

The meanest of all things Y/N has done is manipulate the emotions of people like Zemo to make them confess and feel the pain of the people they caused pain to reflect and repent whenever Agent Everett called her in for.

The robotic voice of Vision snapped her out of her zone as she looked at him as he pointed at the elevator. As Y/N turned to look she felt an overwhelming level of tension.

Oh. It’s one of those days.....

The door opened to a familiar multitude of spandex and metal clad people filling into the living room all making an aggressive beeline at the empathic.

“I CALL DIBS ON Y/N !”,yelled some simultaneously as they glared at each other and argued. Some went straight to the bar pouring themselves a drink and another very specific non alcoholic one along with it. Some stood frozen, colour drained off their face, to be more specific, Wanda,Peter,Bucky and Bruce. Peter walking straight into Y/N’s arms as she held them open as soon as she saw them. Wanda and Bruce following as Vision looms and floats behind them.

“That bad huh ?”, Y/N asked as she tried managing to drag the four towards the couch and plopped down with them. Bruce parted away from her and Wanda followed suit a pleasant smile slapping onto their face.

“18 casualties ”, she heard the blonde star spangled man as he wrapped an arm around her waist moving to hug her by the side as Natasha’s arms wraps around Y/N neck from behind the couch, her head plopped on top of Y/N’s for a few before she whispered a thank you and left to go find Bruce. “And 5 completely decapitated buildings you always forget the buildings Steve ! Now move I need a hug from our gal !”, Sam complained as he agressively made motions for Steve to move away from Y/N as he nearly tackles her. “Careful Sammy, it seems like Peter’s fallen asleep”, the empath notifies as she carefully rests the Spiderboy’s head on the couch from herself as Tony lays a blanket on his body.

“Kid was really hard on himself today, he froze mid battle and was thrown right onto a car, the injury was not that bad but it sure was something. He kept asking if he could call you the whole way back”, Tony said as Y/N stroked Peter’s hair as she got up. “Made you a drink as I poured myself one”, he said offering the glass to her which she took and set back down on the table and then proceeded to take Tony’s glass away from him before he could even sip on it. “This is your third glass and I can sense your annoyance, come here ”, Y/N scolded him as he opened his arms for a hug. “My suit broke down halfway through the fight”,complained Tony into Y/N’s hug as she patted his back, concentrating on pushing the positivity strain in the man.

“I need to be back at the sanctum.... Y/N ?”, came a voice making Tony groan why is it that every time I hug her that you need a hug? The sanctum can wait ! Isn’t Wong there?” “Tony...”, warned Y/N earning a eyeroll from the billionare as he made her promise him hugs later as he sauntered away. Y/N let out a soft laugh before taking Stephens hands into hers and a gentle smile . Stephen placed his hand on her cheek as a smile plastered on his face. “You should have come with us......they-......I and the rest of them needed you.....”,he mumbled making sure no one heard. “I’m sorry, I would have joined but I had to get some Hydra agents to spill some secrets.....”,she reasoned. “If I did not have to return I would have loved to talk to you more about how I feel.....although you will feel it before me and-” “I come visit tomorrow”, she stated simply earning a sigh of relief from the other as he stepped into the portal still hesitating to leave your hand.

There were three left Y/N knew. And she knew where they would be. She walked down the hall that leads up to all their rooms, a door opened and before she could react she was lifted into a bone crushing hug who’s only culprit could be the golden retriever god. “Thor! I was looking for you! How are you feeling!” “Pretty usual Lady Y/N ! I suppose you are visiting my brother ! I couldn’t join today’s mission, I was visiting Asgard ! Anyways I shall let you be !”, and with that he went back into his room. He wanted stay but he knew so needed her more than him he decided he could bother her later.

“They were children ! Can Midgardians stoop this low, they were experimenting on children !”, Y/N could hear as she got closer to the door at the end of the corridor. She opened the door slowly and softly, right after knocking it once.

She saw a flash of black and and overwhelming sense of anger and sorrow before she was tackled by two bodies that made sure her head didn’t hit the floor.

“Hey calm down wow what the hell Loki? Buck? What went THAT wrong?” , Y/N asked the two who had gotten quite close to each other with help of her involvement throughout the years. They realized their similarity and now shared quite of lot of things with each other that they could never tell others. Well, other than Y/N. Y/N slowly replaced their emotions as they let out an appreciative grunt. Before sitting back up. “The people taken hostage by Hydra were children. They were beaten badly, hell some were flinching even when we tried getting them out. I may have done some questionable things in my life but I would never think of doing anything to children. This why this planet needs to be ruled !”,spat Loki in frustration as Y/N rubbed his back soothingly. They were silent for a while before Bucky spoke up. “Those kids were being trained, like Nat. Easier to manipulate, easier to make into soldiers like me.” Y/N sighed, her face dropping as she tried not to hiss in pain. “You saved them though right ? I will probably be called to rehabilitate them. I promise I’ll make them feel better”, she tried to assure them. “ It is not about that darling, I just wonder how many children might be there in Midgard that are being forced into things like this out of their will.”

Y/N never said anything after that but what happened was bothering her and was clear as water. But every time they would try asking her she would quickly change their mood to a Euphoric state and distract them. It felt as if matters were getting worst and Y/N looked sicker and sicker. The team had no choice but to ask Fury.

“ I suppose she has not informed you about her mutation.”

“ What about it ?”

“Well it is not as easy as she makes it seem. You see, every time she replaces an emotion, she feels them. The malice, the pain and everything stays inside her and will stay that way until it is not given to other people. Y/N grew up in an abusive home. Empathy was never shown to her and it got worse by the time she was 15. She first started experiencing immense pain and one day it became intolerable. The pain, without her will got transferred to everyone in that house. No normal human could handle it the way she could and they eventually died because of it. She blames herself and that is why she is not allowed to go on missions with you because we fear that might happen again.”

Everyone was bit shocked by the story they were bombarded with. The felt guilt. All this time it was her who was comforting them and never once had they asked her about how she felt. In fact, if Y/N had not interfered with certain things they might have regretted their actions or may have committed unforgivable acts.

She was their hero. And sometimes the hero needs to be saved to.

Y/N was startled to say the least when her bedroom door burst open and several bodies jumped on her making her feel a sudden high and the pain in her head trying to leave She closed her eyes and tried as hard as possible t not let go of it.

“Y/N I swear to god let it all out ! Were a lot of people we can handle it ! Be a little less harsh on yourself !”, nagged Wanda leaving the empath speechless over the fact that they found out her secret. After more perstering she let go. “Jesus Christ !/Oh my god!/How do you live with this!”, yelled different people simultaneously as they felt what Y/N has been holding to herself for all these years. “Lady Y/N I take back what I said about being the strongest it seems like you are the strongest one to be able to do this and take care of all of us with a smile”, Thor declared.

“You know we love you right miss Y/N ?”,Peter questioned.

Y/N couldn’t say anything if she did she would cry. Her heart swelled even more and for the first time in her life she felt like she truly belonged. The soft tune of Euphoria by Jungkook played in the background the lyrics etching the end of this story.

“Take my hand now, you are the cause of my Euphoria”

--The End--

....... I have never written such an intricate fic on this app. I do not know if it is good or not anymore because I am in too much feels. I really really hope you like this *crosses fingers in anticipation*.This was really fun to write! I did delete the draft like 7 times though because I wasn’t confident about it😅.. I really hope you like this🥺🥺.....Please like and reblog my posts if you like them! Feedback is highly appreciated and please do not plagarize my work. I really work my ass of on them! Thank you so much for supporting me darlings !❤🥰

~Love, Hri

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everything-laito · 3 years

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the FBI agent looking at my computer must be so incredibly concerned. Here’s Laito and Cordelia analysis, Part II

Hiya, Corn here! This is Part II of this analysis series! Part one’s here!

Not getting into the trauma part of it yet. Just explaining abusive power dynamics and how incestuous relationships work. As well as Stockholm syndrome. Lovely! Lovely combo! Fuck!!!

Same trigger warnings as last time still apply!

As always, rant under the cuuuuut!

Ok, from last time, we’ve established the elements that were set in place for Cordelia to do this to Laito, when Laito’s trauma began, and the possible fact that he was groomed as a child for sexual exploitation. Wow. Yay. Amazing. This is so gross!!! Thanks, I hate it!!!! I know I usually cary these topics with just an informational tone but I just can’t with this ;lskfjklsajf But I’m here typing this, you’re here reading this, so let’s just get on with the grossness!

Section 3: Legal Definitions of Incest and Power Dynamics

Now we’re gonna get into the flesh of the problem, and what we know happened. From last time, and common DL knowledge, Laito was coerced into having sex with Cordelia. I say coerced, rather than forced, because it’s not like Laito seemed to resist it. He seems to “willingly” give Cordelia that. Is dubious consent, consent? Oh fuck no, and dubious or coerced consent shouldn’t even count in here considering it’s straight up incest. Any type of incest, most especially between a parent and a child, is not considered consensual, even if it “technically is.” That’s how it’s handled in a court of law, at least in America (where I’m from and reside in), and I do agree with that morally as well. A “romantic” and sexual relationship between a parent (or adult family member; aunt, grandfather, etc) and a child (is just gross) preys upon the power dynamic between them. This isn’t any consensual BDSM power dynamic (obviously), or a constructive power dynamic in the workplace; it’s just a power dynamic already instilled into the relationship where it is taken advantage of. That’s not just fucked up incest, that’s an example of a toxic relationship from the get go. Also, there’s a power dynamic usually between a parent and child, but that doesn’t mean it’s always toxic. It just needs to be done responsibly, which good parents (or any adult in power) know how to maneuver around it and not take advantage of it for manipulation etc.

In healthy relationships, you both start on equal ground. It usually never works out if you don’t see the other as an equal, whether you have a predisposed power dynamic at the beginning or not. I’m talking any relationship; family relationships, friendships, romantic, sexual, etc. Although you older folks might know about BDSM and how there’s a “power dynamic” instilled in the relationship, a chosen and consensual “power dynamic” still involves both parties seeing the other one as an equal––intrinsically. It’s just very different than a predisposed power dynamic. That even goes with friendship too! Or any kind of healthy, nontoxic social interaction! Taken directly from Psychology Today, “Shared power creates happy individuals and satisfying interactions.” People need to be on equal ground in order to have a healthy relationship. Which,,,, we know does not happen with Cordelia and Laito (and Laito and Yui for that matter, but that’s during another part of this series). An article I saw during the research of this explains further about how power dynamics can be constructive. This focuses more on the workplace, but it applies to this because it’s looking at the other person as another person (an equal) but uses that predisposed power for encouragement, empowerment, and constructiveness (like a good parent or adult role model would do). I hope this makes sense!

Basically Cordelia is abusing her power in order to do all this to Laito. That’s why grooming would make a lot of sense in this as well, because we know it’s definitely not the first time Cordelia has taken advantage of a power imbalance to her own selfish benefit. That’s why incest isn’t really explained with the same science as pedophilia. I forget if I’ve mentioned it before, but one way pedophilia can occur in a person if their brain was originally biologically wired in a way that sees children as sexual objects. With incest, it could also work like that as well, but it is mainly power abuse, like most sexual exploitation, harassment, assault, etc is.

Section 4: Incest (I’d make a sweet home Alabama joke but that’s low hanging fruit)

Ok so now that we’ve gone over the legality of incest, and how power dynamics can be taken advantage of, we’re gonna look into the type of incest (yes apparently there are types) that Cordelia and Laito fits into. Also if this already wasn’t clear or anything, hi incest and pedophilia etc are forms of abuse, there is no justifying it at all. It’s abuse, no matter what’s said. I know these are fictional characters but I sometimes see Ayato x Cordelia and Laito x Cordelia etc posts and I kinda just wanna commit heinous crimes whenever I see that. Just the idea of that absolutely sickens me (on top of the abuse shown in DL already). Anyways, after all of that out of the way, let’s go into this.

Since Laito is biologically 17, I’d say that he’s considered as a child (teenager) by demon world standards. We don’t know his age when Cordelia first physically exploited him, but we do know that his same “teenage” sprite is used during the flashbacks. Since his trauma fits so well with the aftermath definition of parent/child incest, I’m just gonna give y’all information on that. This is also called “child incestuous abuse,” which is also a form of child sexual abuse.

I learned an interesting factoid researching this, and that is in Japan, the most commonly believed incestuous relationship was between mothers and sons. In the West, we think of fathers/daughters. In Japan, the media covers more on mother/son incestuous acts; while statistically, more father/daughter incestuous acts are taken place. Just something interesting(?) I found, and probably why DL chose that for storytelling too.

In this Wikipedia article, taken from a scientific paper (I’d take it directly from the source but you need an account to get in and I think you need to pay for it), it says this:

A study of victims of father–daughter incest in the 1970s showed that there were "common features" within families before the occurrence of incest: estrangement between the mother and the daughter, extreme paternal dominance, and reassignment of some of the mother's traditional major family responsibility to the daughter.

Sure, this talks about father/daughter incestuous relationships, but if we take this and reverse most of the roles, it shows Laito’s situation to a T:

Estrangement between Karlheinz and Laito

Extreme maternal dominance (aka Cordelia being very abusive/manipulative)

Reassignment of some of the parental responsibility to Laito (there’s many examples of “big bro Laito,” and Ayato and Kanato considers that they used Laito as a “sacrifice”––as a “shield” for the both of them. Sure this isn’t explicit parental responsibility shown through Laito but I’d say he acts more like a family member to Ayato and Kanato too)

Section 5: Stockholm syndrome? With parental figures?

Laito had some interesting situations occur during this whole thing with Cordelia. One of the most infamous scenes from the game (that’s also illustrated in the HDB manga) is a flashback Laito has where he’s locked up, forced to see Cordelia and Richter have sex. He’s appalled by the fact at first, but then attempts to convince himself that he’s into it. However, I won’t get into the effects until the next part.

I didn’t find much about Stockholm syndrome being in this specific case with incest and kidnapping a child etc. When you look up Stockholm syndrome related to parents you get quite the sexist “article” that definitely mocks the whole Stockholm syndrome thing and makes fun of guys being into Glee and such,,,, so that wasn’t a very helpful article. However, I’m just gonna mish mash and put a lot of concepts that we’ve learned together. But first, a look into Stockholm syndrome.

Stockholm syndrome occurs when an abuse victim develops empathy or even intimate feelings for their abuser or captor. This happens because any bit of kindness the abuser enacts towards their victim is taken so positively, that the victim “forgets” all the negative actions, and focuses on the positive ones. This isn’t some sort of “oh ya gotta think positive!” kind of thing, it’s how abusers get away with their bullshit and how someone can be so trapped in a relationship with them. It’s also called traumatic bonding or victim brainwashing (source). This doesn’t always happen with people who are held hostage, like in Stockholm syndrome’s name origin.

A parent’s influence can be a strong one. Doesn’t even have to be related to by blood. But a figure that is supposed to be nurturing—whether they are or not—still has power over the “child.” He definitely went through Stockholm Syndrome himself with Cordelia, considering the grooming and the “love”/hate relationship he has with Cordelia. I did some more digging, and apparently Stockholm Syndrome can still occur more commonly with sexually abused victims. Which we all know he is. With the possible grooming, on top of the power abuse and sexual abuse, creates an incredibly toxic concoction. Here we go. The (rotten) cherry on top. Directly from my HDB notes, here’s a snippet from his Maniac Prologue:

Cordelia: Nnn…Hey, Laito. You are a good boy. Laito: …!! Cordelia: Right, Laito? Laito: Yeah, that’s right. I’m…I’m a good boy after all. ーー Besides, I’m the type of person who only get more aroused from this kind of thing.

(from my notes:) Basically Laito convinces himself to be a “cuckhold.” It’s definitely implied how he just wants approval from Cordelia; this is how this abuse prolongs.

(Also, if I ever said that Laito was locked up by Cordelia, my bad; it was Karlheinz who gave that order. I’m unsure where I ever said this, but I feel like I said it before, so I’m gonna clarify that right now too, oops! My memory hath failed me.)

Cordelia’s praise effects Laito in such a visceral way that he tries so hard to cope with the trauma in her favor. It’s incredibly messed up. But that’s the defining factor in this. From this, I do believe Laito has Stockholm syndrome on top of all of his issues.

I think I’m gonna end it here for now. Didn’t expect to be this long, oops. Stay tuned for next time, where I’m gonna go over Laito’s trauma and how he’s been effected by it. Thanks for reading, FBI agent! And oh, you as well, dear reader!

If you’ve read this far holy fuck I commend you -Corn

#analysis #Laito sakamaki #sakamaki laito #raito sakamaki #sakamaki raito #Cordelia sakamaki #sakamaki cordelia #diabolik lovers #dialovers #dialover #dl #corn pops off once again

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drummergirl231-2 · 4 years

Text

Happy Autism Awareness/Acceptance Day 2020!

To me, true awareness and acceptance go hand-in-hand. I still don’t mind the word “awareness,” since most people, even people who think they’re spreading Autism awareness, aren’t totally aware of what it is or what it’s like. But I also love calling it Autism Acceptance Day, because that’s what we need more than anything.

To spread some awareness, I’d like to address some misconceptions about Autism and share some other thoughts I wish people knew/understood.

1. Autists/Aspies do not lack empathy.

I found this thing and it explains it super well so I’ll just leave it here:

Imagine a scenario where you say something totally innocent and it triggers the person you’re talking to. They start flying off the handle at you and you don’t know why. But because they’re angry, you are, too. But since you don’t know why they’re angry, you don’t know why you’re angry, either. It’s crazy overwhelming and confusing. And you want to fix whatever you did because you don’t want this other person to be angry or hurt, but you don’t know how, because their all-consuming rage makes it really hard to think and try to put yourself in their shoes. Also, you’re scared on top of it all.

That’s what having high affective and compassionate empathy and low cognitive empathy is like. It’s not that we don’t care. It’s that we care too much, and all the super specific nuances of socializing are things we have to learn one at a time, through either our mistakes or others’ mistakes. These things don’t come naturally to us, but it’s not like we can’t learn. If I were to compare math to socializing, it’s like you all have calculators or other doohickeys to do all the math for you and we just have paper and a pencil... and no eraser.

2. Autism is not a mental illness to be “cured.”

Now don’t get me wrong, I am ALL FOR people finding ways to help us be able to deal with the world better, whether that’s a better diet, items to block out sensory stimuli or items that stimulate, or counselling that can help us navigate social situations and talk through anxiety and/or depression. But those things don’t “cure,” us because Autism isn’t a disease or something wrong with us. Autism gives us different challenges, sure, but neutotypicals have their own challenges.

The symptoms typically associated with “low-functioning,” Autism don’t necessarily have to be a part of Autism. Many non-verbal kids grow up to be verbal. That doesn’t mean they stopped being autistic. There was a celebrity mom years ago who claimed to “cure” her son’s Autism with a gluten-free dairy-free diet. He’d been so trapped in his head, he couldn’t engage with the world around him. She altered his diet and one day he laughed at Spongebob, and that was a turning point. He became able to interact with people and react to things on TV. It was a huge breakthrough. But he was still autistic. If you were to have plopped me down on a rug as a toddler next to a toddler like this celebrity’s son before his altered diet, you wouldn’t think I was autistic at all by comparison. But I was, and I am.

Autism is a different neurological blueprint, and yes, brain-healthy diets and detoxes can do wonders for us because it seems like our brain type does make us more susceptible to negative effects from neurotoxins. But if you think someone has lost their Autism just because “the bad parts,” went away... no. That’s not how it works.

3. Not everyone is “a little autistic.”

When I was newly diagnosed and trying to process it, someone told me something along the lines of, there there, we’re all a little autistic. But that’s not true. There are a lot of traits associated with this brain type, and yes, a neurotypical person can have a few of them. That doesn’t make them a little autistic. To be considered autistic at all, you’d have to have a large number of quirks plus social delays (not associated with excessive technology use), odd or repetitive behaviors, unusual and intense interests, communication struggles, and unusual sensory processing. Suppose you’re white. If you are white, this should be easy to imagine. Say an African American just told you about some of the challenges they’ve faced, whether it’s race-based bullying in school or racial profiling later on. Would it be appropriate to say, “There there, we’re all a little black?” NO. One, it’s false. Two, while all people struggle with stuff because to be human is to struggle sometimes, the struggles of different groups of people are totally different, and you can’t say you know exactly what it’s like or pretend everyone’s the same. We all have equal dignity and worth, but beyond that, everyone’s different. Don’t pretend differences don’t exist. Just value them.

4. Autism doesn’t have a “look.”

When I tell people I’m autistic, this is usually what I hear: “Wow! I wouldn’t have guessed! You don’t look autistic.” ...What does that even mean??? Is it supposed to be a compliment? Because if it’s a compliment I “don’t look autistic,” then that’s kind of an insult to other autistic people. Or do they mean it like, “I don’t believe you’re really autistic because I have a preconceived idea of what an autistic person looks like and you don’t fit the bill so I’m not going to give you grace if you act weird?” I don’t know. Y’all say weird things too, sometimes, ya know? But Autism doesn’t have a look. There is a sort of distant intensity in our gaze sometimes... and I can legit see it when Jim Parsons plays Sheldon Cooper, but when I see an interview with him as himself, it’s gone. It’s not a fixed feature of our faces, and a talented NT could totally put it on.

5. Autism presents itself differently in boys and girls.

You know how not a lot of people know the symptoms of heart attacks in women because mainly people only talk about what a heart attack is like for men? It’s kinda like that with Autism, too. Typically when you hear about Autism, you’re hearing about the signs and symptoms in boys. Even most pediatricians only know to look for the way it presents in boys, which is how so many girls don’t get a diagnosis until later in life, if ever. One difference is that, for whatever reason, girls tend to be better at nonverbal communication and taking hints. We’re mimics. Chameleons. We take on the mannerisms of those around us and who we see on TV as we force ourselves to adapt. Verbal boys might speak at unusual volumes or with an unusual voice, rhythm, or cadence, but verbal girls learn to mimic the speech patterns of others. Our special interests/obsessions aren’t typically seen as strange given our age and sex. For example, a six-year-old autistic boy might be fascinated by WWII. I was interested in fetal development. People thought, “What’s so weird about that? She’s a little girl who loves babies.” We often play with Barbies or other dolls long after our peers have stopped. It helps autistic girls process social situations. When I was shamed out of liking Barbies, I started writing stories in notebooks or in my head. Autistic boys usually struggle with social communication from an early age, but autistic girls usually don’t have any major communication struggles until adolescence, when relationships, platonic or romantic, get way more complicated. Since little autistic girls can mimic their neurotypical peers, and since some doctors only know how to look for Autism in boys, we tend to fly under the radar, causing that huge gender gap in diagnoses.

6. Mental illness is common with Autism, but NOT part of it.

I read an article by an autist in the UK who struggles to get help for his anxiety or depression because therapists have brushed him off, saying “Well, that’s just part of being Autistic, so it can’t be helped.” NO! Just like neurotypicals can be mentally healthy or unhealthy, Autistic people can be mentally healthy or unhealthy. Just because something is common for us doesn’t mean it’s how it’s supposed to be, or that it’ll always be that way, or that it’s part of who we are and we need to embrace it. People with mental illnesses should be embraced (literally or figuratively, depending on what they’re comfortable with). Mental illnesses should not be embraced. Ever. Because autistic kids and adults often face abuse, bullying, discrimination, and are ostracized, anxiety (especially social anxiety) and depression are common for us. In more serious cases, especially in autistic teens and young adults, dissociative disorders can develop. What’s worse, it doesn’t take much looking to find the dark corners of the internet where people, autistic or not, are encouraged to embrace their developing dissociative thoughts and feelings. I once saw an interview with someone who found healing from a dissociative disorder, and she gets emails every day from others with the same disorder she had who regret some of the things they were talked into doing while living with the condition and who want to find the healing she did. She said many of them are autistic and under the age of twenty-five. Autistic people with mental illnesses shouldn’t be talked into believing their mental illnesses are a part of them, or not mental illnesses at all, or something to celebrate and cling to. I reject the notion we should have to settle for being ill in any way. We deserve to be as healthy and whole as anyone else, and it makes me sick there are so many internet predators preying on us in this way, and that there are therapists who think Autism and mental illness has to be a packaged deal.

7. If LGBT people were treated the way autistic people are by the media, it’d lead to outrage. But it seems like no one is outraged on our behalf.

We’ve seen the news stories, haven’t we? A couple invites the news over to their house, upsetting their autistic child who then has a meltdown, the meltdown is filmed and aired, and the parents are just like, “This is what our life is like because of Autism. And it sucks. Pity us.”

There was one video I saw... I’m just so enraged by it, even after two years. A mother was praised for her open honesty as she vilified her autistic son and complained about how he ruined her life and how hard it is to go out and have people stare. I’m sorry, hard for WHO??? I don’t even want to go into the details. I know only sharing this much doesn’t make it sound like that bad of a video, it’s just... ugh. Guys. It’d be a whole separate post. I can’t deal with it right now.

If parents went on the news after their kid came out to them as gay, and wept and begged for pity and said some of the things this woman said of her autistic son (wondering what she did wrong that made her deserve this or that led to this or saying she doesn’t believe in God but finds herself praying anyway that God’ll “fix him”), America would call them the worst parents ever. But parents of autistic kids who do this are praised for their openness and vulnerability as they publicly shame their child.

Another time, after a mass shooting carried out by a teenage boy, the news reported that he was autistic and that might have contributed to the attack (there they go, combining mental illness with Autism as one and the same again).

If a pedophile were arrested, and they said on the news, “And we just got word that he’s gay, so that may be why,” there’d be a riot. But the news can pin autists as mass murderers and no one bats an eye!

All of May last year working at a clothing store, I watched as various departments filled up with pride t-shirts to get ready for June, and I couldn’t help but think,

Where were the Autism acceptance t-shirts in March to get ready for April?

I probably shouldn’t be so surprised with the media painting us as life-ruiners and life-enders.

I know it’s a vile and disgusting thing for me to be jealous of LGBT people in this way, especially since they have their own struggles, too. I just wish society had our backs and celebrated us instead of wanting us “fixed,” for their own convenience, ya know?

8. Almost all of us hate Autism Speaks, and those who don’t are probably just new. XD

I used to be all “Light it up blue!” as well (even though that seemed weird to me, given blue lights might be overwhelming to some people on the spectrum). But then I read something on their site that made me feel really betrayed, and down the line, I learned most autistic people hate them... some because they saw them say the opposite of what I saw they said. Basically we all have different opinions but Autism Speaks spouts whatever information their donors want them to (sellouts), and that donated money doesn’t go towards helping us, but toward more fundraising or research on how to prevent people with our brain type. I guess they’re not fond of the artistic and scientific advancements we bring to the table. They should change those puzzle pieces from blue or multi-colored to white with black specks because they want a world that’s vanilla.

9. Some of us still like the puzzle pieces, even if we hate Autism Speaks.

I’ve talked about this in a fanfic, but I’d love it if we could redeem the puzzle pieces, because they’re still a good analogy if you assign a different meaning. Autists and NTs are puzzling to each other, no sense denying that, but the more time we spend together, the more we start to understand each other. Also, Autism does have a lot of pieces, and figuring out I was autistic was like solving the puzzle of my life. The missing pieces came together and things became clearer and made more sense. Also also, some autistic people are really good at puzzles. And then there are autists like me who aren’t necessarily good at puzzles, but get totally absorbed in working on them anyway (my parents have been doing some puzzles during the quarantine lol they’re traps! TRAPS I SAY!!!).

Nevertheless, I understand why other autistis don’t like the puzzle pieces and prefer the rainbow infinity symbol, and I quite like it, too. It’s very pretty, and the way the colors fade together is a nice symbol of how it’s a spectrum.

It’s a sign of the infinite possibilities in our lives when we’re empowered, because we can do and have done good and great things in the world.

#autism acceptance day #autism awareness day #autism #asperger's syndrome #self-advocacy #I'm like hecka impressed if you read all this

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owlsbride · 3 years

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Icha Icha and Prejudice: The Book Club

Chapter V: A Suitable Marriage

"So…" Sakura answered, arriving at an obvious conclusion observing her cup of sake "now you have to go all way to Suna to solve Naruto's mess."

"Yes," Kakashi nodded, looking at the empty space behind her "I'm not exactly thrilled about it, but it's my job after all." He concluded finally directing his gaze to Sakura to look at her big furious green eyes. He suppressed an inner smile.

"But why? Why don't you send Naruto back again? He was the one that asked the Kazekage an extra train program to be a better Hokage" Sakura started annoyed "And Gaara accepted. What was he thinking? Besides, they both made this mess together."

It was infuriating. Gaara, the most collect man she has ever known, all so stoic, silently analyzing everything around him with his sharp mind. Separated from the world, absorbed in his thoughts with his celestial eyes always directed to the horizon, protecting his village. She couldn't understand it.

"Maa, Sa Ku Ra, calm down" Kakashi spoke with his soft tone, guessing what was going on inside her mind "Gaara may be the Kazekage, and a great one, by the way, a fine young man, but inside he's still a child. I think he's still trying to figure out what human relationships are all about, and when being too friendly or solicitous is too much. I guess he couldn't say no to a friend." There was so much tenderness in his words that Sakura sighed leaning back in her chair a little less angry.

"God, he's worst than Sai." Sakura agreed finally most to herself than to Kakashi thinking about the problems that the young man with black hair suffered and caused due to his lack of social empathy.

"Trust me Sakura, if I were to choose between them both..." Kakashi left the phrase hanging. He was not mad at the Kazekage nor Naruto, he was just tired and resigned with the last one. Naruto would never really change.

"Still..." Sakura began again "I don't know why you can not solve this problem from here. Was it that bad?

"You couldn't just start to imagine."

"But this weather..." She was less angry but pushier now.

"If I didn't know you better, I would think you don't want to let me go, Sakura" he spoke in such a suggestive way that Sakura trembled under his gaze "but I'm sure is not the case, right?"

"Of course not Hokage Sama" she was blushing, a lot "I'm just worried about the security of our leader." Sakura finally answered, wrinkling her nose. Kakashi laughed at her face.

"Relax Sakura, I'm not just an old useless politician".

"I guess you are right... you are not a politician" Sakura said, sticking out her tone.

"Careful Sa Ku Ra, the cat may eat your tongue someday" Kakashi answered her with a deep dark tone licking his own lips, or at least that's what she believed. Again the warm feeling forming in her low stomach, now she was sure, it was not her chakra.

"Yeah... anyway..." she tried to hide her excitement and shame at once adopting a much more professional stance, "I think I should go with you." She finished crossing her arms on the table.

"And that could be because...?" Kakashi leaned back on his chair taking distance from Sakura, eyeing her suspiciously, he had seen this coming. He knew that Sakura was going to ask her to go with him.

"I think it's pretty obvious Sensei." He hated the honorifics, but he just stopped fighting it a long ago with Sakura. It was just a mannerism, a way of speaking, not particularly a sign of respect or distance. It was merely their ways, and it was ok, strange and alluring at times, but ok.

"Go on..."

"I believe that the company of a nin doctor in this weird mission of yours, trying to recover Suna from the Tsunami named Naruto, could be of much help." She finished matter of factly.

"For what? a heatstroke?" Kakashi wasn't going to fall in her charms.

"Stop mocking me, Sensei" Sakura pouted. Now she was feeling hurt.

"I'm not mocking you." He smiled. She was cute sometimes. "I'm just saying that there are no risks in my short journey to Suna. It's a safe trip. Only three days and I'll be back; besides, you forget something."

"What?" Sakura asked in confusion

"You are on vacations."

"Yes, a vacation I didn't request for." It was evident that she still felt horrible about that decision.

"And yet, here we are. Having dinner in your second night of" Kakashi said raising his cup, even if he was not going to drink it with Sakura watching straight to his face.

"I guess..." Sakura did drink her sake and started again with all the Suna issue "So, you are going alone? Who is going to be encharged during these days?"

"I asked an old friend to help me here. Luckily she said yes. Having you not accepting the recess and Naruto trying to put his last training in practice is too much of a danger to leave the village alone. And no, I'm not travelling by myself" Kakashi gave her a wink.

"Hey! I'm not that bad. I'm not going to break the rules Hokage Sama". Sakura was starting to feel offended. She was not a girl anymore. He had to stop seeing her like one "I'm not a gir..."

"A girl. You are not a girl anymore." Kakashi finished for her "I'm well aware of that". Eyes darker.

"So, Who is this friend of yours and with who are you travelling with?" Sakura asked incredulously. She didn't know Kakashi had friends except for Guy Sensei and Genma, (who were definitely not suitable for cover him in these three days) less a woman. Why was she a bit jealous, and why was Kakashi noticing it? He laughed a true-hearted laugh.

"Easy Sakura, Lady Tsunade is going to take my place these days, I think she is more than capable, don't you agree? He was genuinely asking her opinion.

"Wow!" Sakura said in surprise "She must really love you like to say yes."

"Doesn't everyone love me? He was such a Drama Queen. "And about the travelling arrangements, I'm going with Shikamaru."

"Well..." Sakura pondered "Shikamaru is really capable, and he is your advisor. I think he is the most suitable for the job." Sakura concluded.

"Yes," Kakashi stated. "though, I think he has his personal agenda on this journey."

"Oh... You mean..." Sakura didn't want to talk more words than necessary. She didn't know how much information Kakashi had about Temari and Shikamaru's relationship.

"Of course Sakura," Kakashi spoke as it was the most obvious thing in the world "The princess."

"So you know..." It was not a question.

"Sakura, I'm not the Hokage for nothing, you know?" There was fun in his voice. "I've seen how they look at each other, I've listened when they talk at the phone. I've been there when they fight together side by side at the Fourth War. It was just a matter of time." He finished almost with longing.

"Like us" Sakura whispered to herself not expecting Kakashi to listen.

"Like us, what? His eyes were gleaming. Sakura felt nervous.

"Just..." she had to think quickly. "Just like the rest of us, you noted the romance coming back then too." That was closed. Kakashi shifted his mouth uncomfortably under his mask, wrinkling his nose. He wasn't buying it.

"Yes." Disappointment in his words. "Anyway... I think a wedding is coming soon and it will become most profitable for both villages. Suna and Konoha united forever. Shikamaru and princess Temari, we couldn't ask for more." Kakashi spoked low.

A cold chill ran down Sakura's spine upon hearing Kakashi's words. It was the Hokage who spoke: cold, distant, calculating. She wasn't sure if she liked this version of Kakashi. Yes, she has witnessed terrible decisions that he had to make as the village leader, she had seen the horrors of the war and what makes people do. But why this bothered her so much? Was it because she had lost sight of the fact that he was the Hokage after all and not just his partner, friend, and secret fantasy? Was she so in love that, now, only one sentence about the convenience of marriage was enough to make all the bandages fall off?

Kakashi hadn't actually said anything about fixing a marriage, but that's what it sounded like, and inside her, it seemed painful.

"What's wrong, Sakura?" Kakashi asked full of worry. He had just realized after his lazy conversation that something had bothered Sakura.

"Is that how you see us?" Sakura began without looking at him "only as exchange goods, potential political deals or war unions thanks to a good marriage and the lineage that can come out of it?"

"I'm sorry, Sakura, but I can't see the problem there" Kakashi answered in all honesty.

"Sure..." Sakura said dryly in a mocking tone "then maybe I can go for the Kazekage. What do you think? I'm sure that is highly beneficial".

Kakashi was confused, but he was not going to recoil.

"Well, Sakura, good luck with that, cause I don't think Gaara is into girls..." He started doubting "Actually, I think he is into nothing at all, but that's your choice." Why was he getting angry? "Now, if instead, you would like to set your eyes on the brother, Kankuro, that could be something entirely different."

"You can start making the arrangements then, and as Hokage, you can walk me down the aisle." Sakura suppressed a tear.

"That would be your father´s job. I may be old, but that´s not my place" Kakashi retorted angrily, but without racing his voice.

"My parents lost faith in me long ago, I don´t think they are interested in my wedding, they think I´m already too old for that" She was sad, resigned. They have stopped talking to her when she refused to marry Sasuke, another suitable arrangement.

"What the hell are you talking about? I'm not one of those characters of that stupid book of yours, Lizzie."

Sakura looked down, suddenly she was feeling a bit ashamed. She avoided his eyes at all cost, and she was safe by the waitress announcing that the restaurant was closing. Kakashi paid the bill without saying anything, and they both started walking home, strangely taking the same path.

Sakura was the first in breaking the silence.

"You are reading the book, eh?"

"Hmmm" Kakashi hummed as the only answer.

"Already bored?" She was watching at the stars.

"Actually no" Kakashi began "Even if I don't know yet what to think about it, debating my self between if it is a good manner manual or a statement of the women position in the society, I have to recognize it's quite interesting."

"You haven't read enough yet" Sakura was acting childish. How was it possible that he still didn't realize that the book was actually an ode to true love.

"I supposed." He closed the conversation.

They continue walking a few more blocks before arriving at Sakura's door. Finally, they face each other.

"Sakura, listen" Kakashi needed to clear some things before parting to Suna "What I meant earlier" he swallowed hard "I would never jeopardize the happiness of any of you for the good of the village. You are my priority. The marriage between Shikamaru and Temari is indeed a benefit to Konoha, but that does not mean that I'm directing your lives from a desk. All of you already risk enough every day out there. I would not take love out of your hands."

Sakura nodded with her mouth dry, she needed a drink, a strong one. She finally locked eyes with him and smile much more relaxed.

"Are you going to send me a text as soon as you arrived Suna?" Sakura asked in a happy tone.

"Of course" he simply answered, hands in his pocket.

"And are you going to send my regards to the Kazekage and his brother?" Now she was teasing.

"If that's what you wish..." Kakashi left the phrase got lost in the air. The storm menacing again once more the Konoha's sky.

Sakura laughed heartedly.

"Good night Kakashi Sensei, have a good trip." Sakura said, turning her back to him.

She suddenly stood frozen with her keys trembling in her hands.

Warm breath sifted through the mask ran down her neck and the lobe of her ear. Kakashi hadn't gotten to touch a single hair of her, but all of it rose on her body. Her breath stopped for an instant that seemed like hours, his words tickling as he spoke.

"Have a good night you too, Lizzie." And just like that Kakashi disappeared.

Inner Sakura was going to be happy.

Notes:

So many things to say

1- It´s getting really really late here but I wanted to post it anyway

2- A little bit of tension is not that bad

3- Next chapter we may know, or not, what Naruto has done at Suna. Also, I´m pretty sure that the virtual chat is coming back.

4-Kakashi is making his homework after all.

5- I like the idea that Gaara may be a bit of asexual, though the story shows us different.

6- You Know what to do.

7- If there is anything else you would like to know, please write to me

8- Can somebody be so lovely and helpful and explain me how to link the chapters for making it easy to read? I'm almost as stupid as Kakashi with tech

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horrible-monstrosity · 3 years

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mothermom 3 is a baaad animine

part 1: fuck these characters I thought the bit about not being able to go through a certain way because there's ants (that the player can't see) you wouldn't want to trample was going to introduce a theme of kindness and gentleness, but the game sure... tramples that early on by having your oh-so-kindhearted-and-mournable mother trample the fuck out of a sentient talking mole cricket to death right the fuck afterwards. Like, you were just talking to and playfighting with that mole mere seconds ago, and now it's thoughtlessly and meaninglessly dead, and it's supposed to be funny. And then you're supposed to forget all about it when mom dead because care and have emotions for this characters you've barely known for like one minute worth of interactions dragged out over like an hour. ok Then after bumbling along being a hollow little bag of nothing for like ten hours Lucas suddenly proves himself a detestable little cunt by just straight up stealing something he's told was a precious item, a yo-yo belonging to Porky's friend. Because, like... fuck Porky, I guess, in this geame franchise about love and heart and healing there's just this one fat kid we're all supposed to just disregard and piss and shit on and detest by default for no fucking reason just because the game narrative said so. Porky's existence was pretty weird already in Earthbound- he's apparently being abused by his fat parents, and aside from being a bit snotty and show-offy, he does at least make sure his little brother gets home safely at the beginning. He just seems like someone who needs a friend, which... actually makes Ness look like an asshole in retrospect for not just giving him some kind of help. It was kind of fine in that game because he was just a minor character, but making him some supervillain in the next game just because he was some dumpy abused kid is just... what the fuck. But anyway, whenever the plot expects us to care about Loocus and his dumb dead mom I just think about things like the yo-yo and the mole cricket and I lose all empathy. These people are assholes. You're trying to make sympathetic victims out of assholes and an asshole out of a sympathetic victim. Get your meaningless fucking sunflowers the fuck off my screen you bitch fuck

And then on the other hand there's Duster. The character who's absolutely the most deserving of empathy out of all these cunts and we're supposed to see him reembracing his shitty old life as something he should be really happy about. Like for one thing, the entire plot where he reenters the cast is stupid and makes no sense. When we hear he's at the club playing with the band, I could think of a lot of reasons for it- he could be laying low to protect the egg (seeing as how Tamzilly got pozzed and going back there would accomplish nothing), he could have just decided to fuck off and do something he actually enjoyed rather than go back to his shitty asshole dad, he could have somehow ended up far far away from the town and joined the band to make his way back home travelling with them/earn a living so he could get back. But no, before we even get to see him and see how he's acting Strong Female McDerpa Character tells us that he most definitely has amnesia. Because, like, why would he ever give up on his jackass dad and that braindead town otherwise? And then we meet him and it's exactly what we were unceremonously told it was, how rivetting. Then for some reason he decides that if he's really who you say he is he needs to... give up his life as a band member entirely to get the egg back. Can't just come with you to get the egg or until the adventure's over, nooo he needs to abandon his new life forever and ever and just go get fucked and fuck himself. fuck. let my man play guitar and also that "thiefs but good somehow because derp" shit is retarded and I hate it

Finally there's Girl Character who I refuse to even remember the name of because she's... nothing. Even her being kinda cunty about how she's sTrOnG and nOt lIkE ThoSe OthEr gIrlS is just bland. The other girls from the past two games were cute and girly and still credit to team with their strong psychic powers, why the fuck is she like this?

part 2: i've stopped giving a fuck about making this into parts fuck you What the fuck is the story of this game? You spend hours dicking around with a fucking timeskip and a ghost mansion or some shit and the game randomly namedrops the needles at some point, and then... the six or seventh chapter is just titled GUYS THE NEEDLES ARE ACTUALLY REALLY IMPORTANT YOU GUYS. Six or seven fucking chapters in, and we've barely gotten to anything resembling a coherent plot. What the fuck have we been doing up until this point again? Why the fuck do we even need the dragon needles plot anyway? Just have the main cast move from one pigmeng plot to another with things like the thunder tower, slowly working their way up the chain of command until they reach the final boss and his ultimate plan. You don't need to introduce an entire plot worth of fucking shit a third of the way into the game you fucking fuckers

The themes are a fucking dumpsterfire. Just plop some fucktarded work bad money bad bullshit in there and call it a day... Evil monkey man could have given that fucktard anything and got him to hide it in the well and it would have caused a ruckus when he came back and stole it. He could have convinced him to hide his grandma's ashes in the well- would the takeaway from that have been that honoring the dead bad? That's how fucking flat it is. If anything it just comes off as if the people of Tamzilly are just a bunch of mindkilled retards with no defence against humanity's own nature aside from shutting themselves off from the outside world entirely- the slightest contact with normal human interactions like money or having to contribute to society for a living, they all self-destruct. It's not le capitalism that made the old people home bad, it's whoever the fuck actually built it... which, if the outside world weren't basically strawmanned with the le evil pigmans and monkey abuser guy, would have been Tamzilly themselves. Which, because the strawmanning is so unbelievably absurd, makes it seem like Tazmilly is just a retarded place that somehow managed to make the old people's home this bad on their own or some shit I don't know I just can't buy it

Speaking of empathy, the game somehow manages to make the Pig Heil guys endearing even while they're actively working on the thunder tower that's cooking the dumbass town residents. Are they supposed to be abusing the electric catfish when they're cutely telling the things to hang in there and do their best? When Lucas got a jerb hustling the golems around and they managed to make it like a positive thing (the pigmangs encourage you, seemingly pay a decent wage, and even the doggo enjoys running on the treadmill once he gets into it), I thought there was going to be a tweest or at least some nuance, but the absurdity of the nice ol' piglins in the evil tower just makes it seem like it's just entirely unintentional, by writers who just have no idea what the fuck they're doing. The generic braindead modern-bad messaging and the generic brainless funny-characters-ha-ha sides of the writing clash horribly and somehow manage to mangle each other even worse than they already were.

The whimsicality is fucking dead. It's just all so forced and one-note... or, very consistently two-note in every single thing, because absolutely every single monster you meet is just two things funny stuck together. The first two games could glide smoothly between fighting enraged possessed zoo animals and weirdo people, weirdo fucking blended monsters that don't look like anything in particular, and then just sometimes the taxis that're used for decoration on roads will veer off course and engage you in battle. It's simultaneously wildly unpredictable and smoothly cohesive. And it's wonderful. But M3 is just... it leans over, shoves a megaphone down your throat and loudly informs you that "the PIGMEN have FUSED the THINGS toGETHER" and proceeds to beat you over the head with "this thing is THAT thing and THAT thing" over and over again. It's forced, mechanical, hamfisted and just not whimsical at all. And it's not just because the pigmengs aren't Giiigigigigiyasass (which could have been fixed by having them harness traces of Gig's power if that was the problem anyway), because it extends to absolutely everything- the ghosts at the mansion for example are just all absolutely fucking nothing. Like the main big bad boss is just "he's GHOST who THROWS FURNITURE and is BEETHOVEN and plays BEETHOVEN MUSIC". Because Beethoven is old thing therefore old mansion and ghosts, geddit? How fucking pathetic. Oh there's another thing, the weird aliens/conspiracy bent the first two games had is gone entirely. That's something that really helped it feel so wild yet at the same time cohesive... Actually, the game also seems to have done away with the surprise overworld sprite encounters like the aforementioned taxis. ... No wait that's right, they blew their load in the first levels with the rock lizards, which were fucking boring.

The dialogue fucking sucks. just fucking drags the fuck on endlessly for fucking ever to say barely anything, and barely anything you need to actually hear. Did Earthbound ever stop you to inform you that the TAXIS are AFFECTED by GIGUDUGDSAS like you couldn't figure that out yourself? No, they say Gigi's affected shit in a couple sentences near the beginning and let the rest of it speak for itself, pretty much. It's hard to give exact examples because I can't fucking remember any of this shit because it just slides right off my brain like ducks off of water, it's so bland and pointless. The sparrows drone on endlessly with worthless tutorial shit and then take an entire extra sentence to chirp at you and remind you that it's talking animals oh wow wacky!!!!!!! And when Duster decides he really is what you say he is he stands there going "ME IS DUSTER" over and over again like he's fucking Bimpson. You don't have anything interesting to say about finally figuring out who you really are? Okay... There's multiple fucking scenes of slow-scrolling walls of fucking text telling you absolutely nothng you don't already know except that the writers are wanking the fuck off over their own dumbass writing where in Earthbound there was like one scene of this towards the end that really just set up the emotions of the final sequences and underlined how far you'd come and shit and was a good moment of reflection and shit.

I also find it exceptionally intersting that all the people in Tazmilly before the timeskip have names and unique appearances, but anyone who only shows up after is just some generic design called "Man" or "Woman" or what have you. It feels weirdly dehumanizing towards outsiders.

This game fucking feels like the writers just fucking dumped a bunch of absolute shit down like they expected everyone to just eat it up, either because of the success of the previous games or because of the emotional manipulation the plot is laced with. The characters are all either detestable cunts or desperately need to be airlifted out into a better game pronto. And it's unsettlingly... modern in what's wrong with it. The capitalism-bad-tradition-good-mindkill-yourself messaging, the spunky female character(tm) who rubs it in your face how strongk she is (and who keeps talking even when you're controlling her while the other characters all become silent protagonists)... even the weirdly random spite towards characters the narrative has decided aren't "deserving" enough, or characters only being allowed to handle said spite and retain sympathy by cucking to it completely (Duster)... I suppose that's just a sign that these sorts of writing problems and hangups are older than that and have just become more popular/visible in recent times, but it's still really fucking weird to see.

I feel like I should be concerned that the team behind the Earthbound series also started Gamefreak and created Pokemon, though since the split obviously happened before Mo 3 I don't know how much overlap there is between staff members there specifically... seeing as how these exact same sort of writing problems have started to rear their heads in the Pokemon franchise, starting weakly in gen 6 (cough zinnia cough abandoned ship plotline cough) and absolutely fucking exploding in 7 (cough LILLIE COUHG FUCKING TAPUS COUGH AGAG V HIC CUFGH VOMIT AAGHK); I haven't yet fully witnessed gen 8 but everything I've seen of it so far looks no better, except there's no shill character (Marnie is just kinda... there), just suffering. But that's all for another post.

welp time to go watch the remainder of the game until my brain rots off

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jippy-kandi · 4 years

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Digimon Adventure tri. – Complete Series Review (English Dub)

Digimon Adventure: Last Evolution Kizuna revitalised my waning interest in Digimon. So much so that I felt like rewatching tri. – but, seeing as I’ve never seen the English dub of it, I decided that would be my “rewatch”! I grew up with the English dub of Digimon, so I have a very soft spot for it. I still think the original Japanese version is far superior, but the English dub really was my childhood.

Under the cut are brief thoughts on the English voice actors, and then a lot more thoughts on the series – or, rather, just what came to mind as I was rewatching the movies. As it turns out . . . most of that was just my intense dislike for certain parts of Matt and Tai’s characterisation.

Note: I do mention Kizuna quite a bit in comparison to tri., but I don’t spoil anything (except for two lines that don’t impact the plot). I don’t think my Kizuna mentions will spoil your enjoyment of the film if you haven’t seen it.

English Voice Actors

Joshua Seth as Tai: PERFECT. He’s definitive Tai to me and he was amazing from the first movie to the last. All my dreams came true, etc. I was disappointed he didn’t return in Revenge of Diaboromon (where his replacement sounded like Joe . . .), but was happy at least Michael Reisz returned for that movie as Matt. But for tri. it was the opposite: Seth returned, but Reisz didn’t. :(

Vic Mignogna as Matt: MY EARS, THEY BLEED. He’s the actual reason I put off watching the English dub of tri. for years. I was so excited about the English dub, but then the very first promo clip of it with Matt speaking was released and I . . . it was truly horrific. He turned me off completely. And as soon as he spoke in Reunion, I had to stop the movie. BUT I EVENTUALLY SOLDIERED ON. OMG. He’s so terrible as Matt. There are a few lines he delivers that are . . . OK . . . but, mostly, he was a major miscast. I really hope Michael Reisz comes back for the probable Kizuna dub. I don’t care if they think he doesn’t have a low enough voice for adult Matt – he IS Matt to most Digimon fans worldwide. BRING HIM BACK.

Colleen O’Shaughnessey as Sora: PERFECT. Absolutely loved her, definitive Sora right here. Well, OK, I might love original Japanese kid Sora just a tiny bit more, lol. But she’s almost as great! I really wish I could’ve heard her conversing with Michael Reisz. :(

Philece Sampler as Mimi: PERFECT. It’s Mimi grown up, I’ve got no complaints, it doesn’t get better than this.

Mona Marshall as Izzy: PERFECT. Though isn’t it odd that a woman still voices him? Lol. I really appreciated that four of the old voice actors reprised their roles. I think it really helped with the nostalgia. I just wish all of them had returned.

Robbie Daymond as Joe: He was really good as Joe, but . . . he would’ve made an excellent Matt. Seriously. Every time he spoke, I kept thinking, “WHY DID THEY NOT CAST YOU AS MATT?” He just had to lose a bit of the “pathetic, nerd” effect in his voice and he would’ve made an AMAZING Matt. The voice director had no idea what he was doing.

Johnny Yong Bosch as T.K.: He made an excellent T.K., so I definitely approve. However . . . he also would’ve made an excellent Matt, if he aged his voice up a bit more. The English dub literally had TWO voice actors (T.K. and Joe’s) who could’ve voiced Matt better, but instead went for Vic Mignogna!? Seriously, what a fail. The only positive is that Matt and T.K. did sound like brothers . . . with T.K. having the far better voice.

Tara Sands as Kari: She was . . . OK. Sometimes she sounded way too old, though. She was decent enough . . . but her old voice actress was a lot better. Still, she wasn’t nearly as bad as Matt. *cough*

Cristina Vee as Meiko: Wow, her voice really annoyed me in the first two movies. But I think that’s because she was being all shy and wet blanket-y. She’s . . . OK in the end, I guess. Nothing special.

Cherami Leigh as Maki (“Hime”): I actually thought she was the most talented voice actor in the series. Her voice suited the character the most as well. I was super impressed with her. A+

Doug Erholtz as Daigo: He . . . sounds like an older version of 02 T.K., because that’s who he used to voice. It was odd when Daigo would talk with Matt, because I kept thinking Matt was talking to future T.K.. But he was fine as Daigo, I guess. (Off-topic: Japanese Daigo is voicing Japanese reboot Yamato . . . what is with Daigo and the Takaishidas!?)

Digimon Adventure tri.

I watched the tri. movies over a week. I wrote down my initial thoughts after each viewing, and then came back and expanded on them later. Because I didn’t want this post to be TOO long (even though . . . it is), I kept it mostly to my issues with the series instead of listing the things I liked. If you want, you can read my initial thoughts (including positive things) on each movie as they were originally released here. Below are my most “pressing” thoughts on a rewatch.

Chapter 1: Reunion

I still have major issues with Matt and Tai’s role-reversal in tri.. I think what annoys me the most is when a show asserts something that is simply not true. Tai saying Matt hasn’t changed at all (YES HE HAS, HE CHANGED INTO YOU AND YOU CHANGED INTO HIM). It’s one thing to just have that happen – but for a show to be obnoxious enough to SAY A LINE that is asserting something ridiculous just to put it into existence is irritating. “Matt hasn’t changed one bit.” = “Matt’s in-character because we say so, all right?” Annoying.

Matt was super aggressive and it really annoyed me. If you want to be very black and white, you’d say, “well he was pretty aggressive in Adventure”. But you’d be ignoring that he was only aggressive in Adventure in REACTION to someone else. Someone else HAD to set him off – usually Tai was pissing him off in some way, making an insensitive remark, etc.. But Tai ACTS first. Matt REACTS. But in tri., Tai does nothing and Matt just goes at him. That’s a loose cannon – and yes, there is a difference between having someone push your buttons and exploding, and . . . just . . . exploding.

Consider this example from Adventure: Matt puts up with Joe’s shit (really DemiDevimon) in the diner for a LONG time before exploding at him. Because that’s Matt. He’s an introvert who holds shit in before exploding, giving people a lot of chances and hoping it’ll work out. He doesn’t just explode unnaturally and often like in tri., as though it’s second nature to him (when it really isn’t). I really disliked how tri. devolved his character to that of the typical “brute” of the group (JUST to be Tai’s foil too, which made it even more annoying).

And, even though I haven’t seen the first season in YEARS, I still remember the “digimon graves” scene very clearly and how it characterised Matt and Tai perfectly (it summed up their ENTIRE characterisation – how their characters operated differently – in the first season). There are other scenes that present the same thing, but I think it’s THE definitive scene you need to know to have an issue with the “wrong” parts of Tai and Matt’s characterisation in tri..

They role-reversed that shit and it annoys me so much because Matt is so much more empathetic than Tai, but tri. turns him into an aggressive frat boy in Reunion and makes him lose all his perspective and observational skills -- which Adventure showed us he had a TONNE of (one of the things about him that made him my favourite character, and thus why it annoyed me SO much that they ignored this aspect of him completely to make him a “tsundere brute 9000”).

Basically, tri. got rid of the layers that made Matt and Tai who they were, and instead added “new layers” to them that MADE THEM INTO EACH OTHER. And then had the balls to ACT LIKE THEY’VE ALWAYS BEEN THAT WAY – for Matt, anyway, where they had Tai explicitly state that he never changed (WTF? Not only is that obviously A LIE, but it’s also asserting that MATT DIDN’T GROW AT ALL). For Tai, he was “growing” . . . into Matt – where Matt himself had an issue with his friend being like him in the past. Yeah, seriously. What a mess.

I don’t often think characters are “out of character” (in any series – writers usually have a good grasp on their characters) – but I definitely did here.

As I once joked to a friend:

Adventure told me all the ways Taichi was going to top Yamato.

And tri. told me all the ways Yamato was going to top Taichi.

Score: 5/10.

Chapter 2: Determimation

So . . . let’s talk about the “meeting scene” where Matt gets angry that Joe never turned up because studying is more important to him, and Tai shuts him down and defends Joe by saying he has his reasons . . .

I disliked this scene a lot because I felt like, as in the first episode, their roles were 100% reversed. TAI would’ve gotten angry at Joe for not turning up (Tai prioritizes ACTION over inaction/emotions/everything else) and MATT would have defended Joe for not turning up to a digimon meeting, because he has more empathy for people and is more understanding than Tai.

I strongly felt this way the very first time I saw Determination – and I still strongly feel this way about it now. The scene was a COMPLETE role-reversal and thus why I had issues with it.

Well, guess what?

In KIZUNA a similar scene happens. After a digimon fight in the movie, TAICHI says something like “only four of us showed up!?” (read: HE HAS THE ISSUE) and YAMATO defends everyone who didn’t show up (saying something like they all have their own lives).

Oh shit, was that Tai prioritisng ACTION over inaction and personal responsibilities (EXACTLY like how he was in season one)?

Oh shit, was that Yamato BEING EMPATHETIC AND UNDERSTANDING to others (EXACTLY like how he was in season one)?

THIS EXCHANGE IN KIZUNA WAS SO IN-CHARACTER THAT I NEVER THOUGHT ANYTHING OF IT.

I only remembered it when confronted again with the “meeting scene” in Determination – BECAUSE IT WAS THE REVERSE OF THE SCENE IN KIZUNA.

The Kizuna scene is just how the characters are in Adventure/02. Tai expects people to just fight, while Matt is empathetic. (HELLO AS WELL, DIGIMON GRAVES SCENE IN SEASON ONE.)

Seriously, tri. is really annoying with the Matt and Tai role-reversal. It’s my personal biggest criticism of the series because the characters are what I care about the most in Digimon, so if you’re going to switch them up – that shit is going to annoy me. No matter how bad a story is, at least do right by the characters and keep them in-character.

And I know the (very few) people who loved Matt and Tai’s role-reversal in tri. use the excuse of “tri. showing the characters growing” . . . But, man, I really can’t get behind that. Like, no, tri. just decided to switch Matt and Tai’s roles to serve their chosen plot (which is Tai growing up and becoming more ~mature – and I get it, it’s a GREAT theme to explore . . . but it shouldn’t have happened at the expense of BOTH their characterisations).

What “growth” is it when Matt is empathetic at 11, a frat boy arsehole at 17, and back to being empathetic at 22? What “growth” is it when Tai has always been a capable leader at 11 (because he KNOWS his priorities – which is WHY HE’S THE LEADER), suddenly frozen at 17 to an exhausting extent that even Matt never reached, and back to being the same capable leader with the SAME priorities at 22 that he had at 11? Yeah, that’s not growth. That’s mischaracterisation in one series.

Why do I have such an issue with this? Because it’s something that is FUNDAMENTAL to a person. You switch this ONE thing up and, suddenly, the person is operating as an entirely different person. Matt isn’t being Matt. Tai isn’t being Tai. It’s fundamental to WHO THEY ARE, and when you fuck with it, you’re essentially presenting an entirely different person. Matt doesn’t operate like that. Tai doesn’t operate like that. And it’s so obvious that the issue is with the WRITERS either not fully grasping their characters and/or just deliberately forcing it to fit their chosen plot (at the expense of the characters).

Anyway, I just feel really justified that tri. did Matt and Tai so wrong. Kizuna is BRILLIANT for any Taichi and Yamato fan who love the characters as they are in Adventure/02. I highly recommend it if you actually want to see the characters represented as they are in Adventure/02. Kizuna does NOT come across as fanfiction, which I think tri. really, really does (especially in the first two movies). I never once thought, watching Kizuna, that the characters were reinterpretations by a fanfiction author with Toei Animation funding – which is what I regularly thought in tri..

Score: 6/10.

Chapter 3: Confession

OK, this is a very slight thing (a brief line that was meant for laughs), but I’m on a roll regarding this issue, so why not? I’ll take another opportunity to get my point across.

T.K. says that fighting is Matt’s thing . . . yeah, no. Again, I dislike how tri. took ONE aspect of Matt’s character (how he fights with Tai a lot in Adventure) and EXAGGERATED THE HELL OUT OF IT. (The exaggeration here is that the line is supposed to summarise Matt as super aggressive in the entire series.) In tri., he is a tsundere brute with a capital T. And it reduces him to such a simple person, taking no considerations for his entire character. Matt in tri. seemed to have a permanent scowl on his face, like he was always grumpy. Chill, tri., Matt actually isn’t all that grumpy.

Go back and watch Adventure and 02. Matt is actually pretty laid-back – until someone ticks him off. But it has always been about EMOTIONS with Matt, NOT random acts of aggression. I wish the tri. writers knew the subtleties and nuances of Matt’s character better and didn’t just TURN HIM INTO TAI to be “new” Tai (OLD MATT’S) foil. Thank god Kizuna put things back to the way they were. Seriously, when you watch Kizuna, you REALLY feel like Toei went from:

Adventure -> 02 -> JUMPED STRAIGHT OVER TRI. WITH MATT AND TAI’S JARRING CHARACTERISATION -> Kizuna.

Anyway, that line was in a scene meant for laughs, so . . . it’s fine I guess. (I still judge the writers.) The only real con of the movie is that Meiko comes across as a wet blanket who doesn’t deserve the sympathy from the other characters (but somehow . . . just gets it). This is the writing in the previous movies being terrible, because they never showed us convincingly why the Chosen Children would actually accept and care about Meiko so much.

On a positive . . . this is the movie that made me fall in love with T.K.. It’s also – by far – the best written movie in the series and, personally, my favourite Digimon movie ever. So thanks, tri..

Score: 8.5/10.

Chapter 4: Loss

Yokomon being a bitch to Sora and no one else is still so incredibly forced and defies logic. I don’t think anyone can argue with this. But, other than this major bad writing flaw . . . the film was surprisingly pretty good. It probably has the best pacing of all the tri. films, too. I don’t think I even looked at how much time I had left of the movie to go (which I constantly did for Reunion and Determination, because . . . zzzzzzz).

I’m pretty torn about whether it was as good as Kizuna. I think . . . it was? But only because ALL of the characters were in it.

Let me put it another way: I think Kizuna is actually the slightly better film, but because Kizuna only really had TWO main characters, it makes its score go down a bit -- to match Loss’ score, which actually is slightly “worse”. But the fact that Loss has ALL the characters in it, lifts it up a bit to be pretty on par with Kizuna to me.

But Kizuna has more of an emotional punch, so, I would say Kizuna edges it out . . . just. Loss also has more flaws than Kizuna. But, overall, Loss was a pretty good film. Well done, tri., you’re on a roll! (And then . . . you stopped abruptly, lol.)

My favourite exchange:

Izzy: “Matt and Tai are best friends.” Matt: “No we’re not!”

Score: 7/10.

Chapter 5: Coexistence

Lots of Meichi . . . and Meiko being the best she’s ever been (or ever going to be). This is the only movie she didn’t come across as a useless wet blanket. And I did really like the Meichi heart-to-heart because it was actually well written. Do I ship Meichi though? No, I don’t think so. Even though they “connected” in this movie, it still seems a bit too forced and abrupt to me and it just wasn’t enough. Plus, I really don’t know why Tai would be attracted to her . . . I think he’d be attracted to girls like Mimi.

There’s a quick scene where Matt refuses to talk to his mum on the phone. My heart, it aches. Why couldn’t tri. show him ACCEPTING the phone call? That would’ve been a neat personal growth thing for Matt, coming off of Adventure, you know? I guess they just prefer him being closed off to his mum for life . . . it’s realistic, but still sad.

I really liked Matt yelling in emotional frustration because Meicoomon needs to be sacrificed (at Tai’s insistence). That’s the first time tri. got the Matt/Tai roles right so far? Oh . . . it’s because Tai’s storyline (his “character growth”) is FINALLY starting to get resolved. You know, him reverting back to the way he always was and being the capable leader who can call shots like that? Yeah. So when their roles go back to normal, everything MAKES SENSE again.

Wow, isn’t that incredible, tri.? That the characters now seem authentic and “right” now that you’ve decided to SWITCH THEIR ROLES BACK? Amazing.

But Matt putting Tai’s goggles around his neck = ICONIC.

That’s his brief consolation prize for being the ACTUAL leader for four and a half movies. Fuck you, tri..

But my issue with Tai’s storyline – other than the effects it had on Matt and Tai’s characterisation – also has to do with bad writing from more of a writer’s perspective (in that perhaps the average viewer wouldn’t have a problem with it).

I hate “undeserving” leaders in fiction (see: Luther from The Umbrella Academy).

Let me explain.

My favourite leaders in fiction (the best leaders I’ve ever seen) are Taichi from Adventure, Leonardo from Nickelodeon’s TMNT, and Rick Grimes from The Walking Dead. Why?

Because the writing showed you through actions why those characters were the most capable at being the leader. It doesn’t just point a finger at one character and go, “There! Leader! Always!”

Good writing shows you why a character is a good leader through their actions.

Bad writing just “designates” one character as the leader (just because the title “belongs” to them), and no matter their actions, they will always be regarded as the leader simply because the writer wanted that character to be the leader.

And tri. unfortunately does the latter. For most of the series, tri. shows Matt as the most capable leader – but because Tai is simply DESIGNATED the leader (that is, no matter what happens, Tai IS THE CHOSEN LEADER just because he’s the main character) – the series needed to get Tai back to his leadership mantle that has his name permanently etched on it.

I hate that.

And this isn’t a “Matt should’ve been the leader because he’s my favourite character” thing. It really isn’t. I personally never cared about Matt being the leader, because Adventure showed me that Matt was too emotional to be the leader. And he is. In fact, someone tagged me in a post a few months back where they quoted something I’d never seen before: it was Koushirou in the Digimon Adventure novels POINT BLANK telling Yamato that he was too emotional to be the leader. I laughed, because I love it when the series justifies my opinions in actual dialogue.

Anyway, I've always thought that Matt is too emotional to be the leader and never cared that he isn’t the leader. However . . . tri. told me in the first four and a half movies that Matt is NOT too emotional to be the leader. In fact, tri. told me that Matt’s perfectly capable of being the leader – and MORE capable of it than Tai was in those first four movies.

So, my issue is, if you’re going to show me that Matt is the better leader, then . . . MAKE HIM THE LEADER? You don’t “need” Tai to be the leader; he was utterly useless for the first four and a half movies.

But oh, that’s right; because Tai is the DESIGNATED LEADER, no matter what is shown (ie. Matt being the better leader), tri. has to revert back to Tai being the capable leader.

That’s bad, forced writing.

You should NEVER give the audience the impression that someone is the leader “just because” that title belongs to them in the series. Remember, SHOW ME the actual leader through their actions (ie. that is Matt in tri.) instead of just shoving it down my throat that there is “one true leader” that the writing must get back to, regardless of how incapable that person was.

Matt constantly tries to wake Tai the fuck up to lead in tri., but . . . Why? Matt is doing a perfectly good job of being the leader. There is NO need for Tai to step up and be the leader if he isn’t capable of it. If you can’t lead, STEP DOWN. The leader should never come across as being “designated” – they should always come across as the leader through their actions. And in tri.’s case, that was Matt.

Of course, we can’t have Matt be the leader when Tai is the main character of Digimon, can we?

But my stance is, if that is the case, tri. never should have showed us Matt was better at leading than Tai in the first place. Because it comes across to viewers as Tai just being the “designated leader” simply because the writing said so . . . and that, as stated, is bad writing.

My point is: the role-reversal never should have happened.

(And it’s only when Tai disappears that we suddenly get shown that Matt wouldn’t lead as well, so that we now think -- at the end of the series -- that Tai needs to make a heroic return and be the leader, despite it being shown earlier that he was useless . . . Yeah, fuck you, tri..)

Score: 6.5/10.

Chapter 6: Future

I’m still not here for Matt “learning a lesson” from Tai. Again, the writing for this is extremely bad and contradictory.

So, basically, Matt “realises” what Tai’s perspective is (his entire issue in the first movie) and NOW understands it . . .

Except, you know, the perspective Tai had was ALWAYS Matt’s perspective BEFORE tri. started. They just role-reversed their perspectives, so you have a REALLY BAD situation where Matt realises HIS OWN PAST PERSPECTIVE . . . is the lesson he “finally” learnt at the end of tri..

Matt changed into Tai (although tri. insists that MATT NEVER CHANGED AT ALL), but throughout the course of the series – THROUGH TAI’S EXAMPLE OF BEING MORE LIKE MATT HIMSELF – Matt realises his old views (Tai’s CURRENT views) made sense, and . . . acknowledges that Tai has a point/understands what Tai means now.

That’s Matt’s “character growth” by being Tai’s foil – being taught a lesson from Tai that Matt himself has always known.

Seriously, tri.?

It’s so incredibly lame and contradictory and just incredibly bad writing.

My biggest issue with tri. (if you hadn’t noticed) was the role-reversal of Matt and Tai. Other people can justify it all they want, but it was close to character assassination to me. Matt was 80% Matt, and Tai was . . . like, 50% Tai. Yeah, I disliked Tai for half the series.

An easy “litmus test”: If tri. had simply reversed Matt and Tai’s roles – so Matt is the one super concerned about collateral damage to the point where he freezes up, and Tai is the one being aggressive and insists Matt stops acting like a pussy – no one would’ve batted an eyelid. Because that would’ve been 100% in-character and make the most sense of what those two characters would’ve done in that predicament.

But, of course, because Tai’s the actual main character of Digimon, and this collateral damage dilemma (which is a good idea to explore, mind you) was their chosen issue, they forced it onto Tai – which also affected Matt as his foil. And thus, a lot of people had issues with what it did to Tai and Matt’s characterisation. Again, thank god Kizuna righted tri.’s wrong.

Also, I have to bring this up even though I’m sure everyone and their pet fish has complained about this: The whole 02 thing is insanely bad writing. They “went missing a long time ago” and Tai and co. DIDN’T NOTICE OR CARE? Like, seriously tri., it’s not that hard to come up with a better way to get them out of the series. It’s incredibly stupid that Tai was having issues with collateral damage potentially killing strangers, while his OLD FRIENDS were missing the entire time and they had no idea where they were, but then to suddenly CARE that they were finally found in the last movie?

Just, the logic, there is none. “Oh, we forgot about them completely . . . but, now that you mention it, we’re super glad they’re safe!” Seriously. You’re asking too much of the audience to make up excuses for you. I personally don’t care about the 02 kids at all, but the handling of it was definitely one of the biggest fails in tri.. They could have written them out A LOT better.

It’s also jarring when, in Kizuna, the 02 kids are back in the fold like they’ve never left. Tri. makes it seem as though they lost touch/aren’t close friends, because they hardly care and their reactions to “Ken” makes it seem as though he’s almost a stranger to them. But Kizuna feels as thought it comes STRAIGHT after 02, because it feels like they’ve always been a tight group (read: it really feels like Kizuna ignored tri. completely).

Score: 5.5/10.

Final Thoughts

I did it! I finished rewatching tri. (technically my first viewing of the English dub)! YAY!

I mostly still feel the same way about the series on a rewatch that I originally did. I think the biggest change of opinion for me was that I liked Maki a lot more than I did when I was just watching it in the instalments with months between films. I’m pretty sure it’s because I didn’t know her character at all as I was seeing it all for the first time, so it’s easy to be quick to judge -- but now that I knew her entire character arc, I actually got to appreciate her. But her storyline still could’ve ended A LOT better – but that’s really my only criticism of it. She was a great character.

I think it would’ve been a lot better to configure Maki into “Meiko” and have her infiltrate the Chosen Children and be a villain “from the inside”. I don’t think Meiko should have existed at all, and I think the reason tri. didn’t “hit” for most fans stems from the existence of such a poor character as Meiko being central to the plot (and thus having all of the terribly written things that happen in tri., happen in tri. . . .)

I think tri. was going to get a sequel but, because it wasn’t as well-received as they’d hoped (lots of criticisms of it . . .), they dropped it and made Kizuna instead. I really think that’s what happened.

I’m glad though because I LOVED Yamato in Kizuna. He was straight from Adventure/02. He was completely in-character in Kizuna and STILL managed to show the audience that HE HAD GROWN. See tri., it’s really not that hard to do.

Sometimes, it’s hard to put into words what exactly is “wrong” with a character. (Though I tried to explain it . . .) Sometimes, you just have to “see” a character and the “vibe” they give off isn’t quite that of the character you know.

That’s what happened with Tai and Matt’s characters in tri. for me. But the “vibe” of their characters in Kizuna came across as 100% authentically them, straight from Adventure/02, BUT GROWN UP.

You just “know” the characters when you see them. It’s the little nuances in their characterisations, lines of dialogue, their actions and reactions, and you just recognise the characters as them. And that’s from knowing who they are from past series (Adventure/02). Kizuna got Yamato and Taichi 100% right.

I’m going to put 17-year-old tri. Matt down to teenage hormones. Sora was withholding sex from him and so he had a huge amount of pent-up aggression. Yeah. *cough*

I am glad tri. exists though, because I got to see Matt at 11, 14, 17 and 22. And that’s amazing.

Best Characters

Matt (despite having issues with 20% of him, he still ultimately came across as the “star” of tri. to me), T.K. and . . . *gasp* Maki. Yeah. Seriously, she was actually one of the best written characters. Such a shame about how tri. chose to close her story.

Honourable Mentions

Mimi and Sora. Izzy and Joe. (Everyone but the Yagami siblings? Lmao)

Worst Character

Meiko. By a long shot. I honestly have no idea how anyone could like her (and are not just indifferent to her) . . . but I think, like, three people do.

Scores / Ranking

Chapter 1: Reunion – 5/10. Terrible. Chapter 2: Determination – 6/10. OK. Chapter 3: Confession – 8.5/10. Excellent. Chapter 4: Loss – 7/10. Good. Chapter 5: Coexistence – 6.5/10. Good-ish. Chapter 6: Future – 5.5/10. Terrible.

I had more issues with the bad writing decisions in Future than Reunion, but a lot more happens in Future, while Reunion is just boring. So . . . I guess Future is better than Reunion – but just. My ranking of the films now (best to worst):

Chapter 3: Confession Chapter 4: Loss Chapter 5: Coexistence Chapter 2: Determination Chapter 6: Future Chapter 1: Reunion

Conclusion

Overall, Digimon Adventure tri. is a pretty average series. I liked it enough, but there were giant leaps in logic and small, sometimes huge, bad writing decisions that could’ve been avoided or done a lot better with very little effort. The quality of a series depends on ALL the parts working: having good characters, good storytelling, stellar attention to detail, great adherence to logic so that the audience aren’t taken out of the experience. This is where tri. fails, because if you have a lot of those moments, it really does lower the quality of your story to your audience, who will get tired of constantly having to suspend their disbelief.

But, despite all of its flaws, tri. did give us the best Digimon movie ever made (Confession), so . . . Yay? I’ll take it.

If you were to directly compare Adventure and tri., I think you would say that tri. had better writing overall. And I would agree. But comparing them directly isn’t fair. Why? Because Adventure was made for kids, and tri. was made for adults. And here’s the thing:

Digimon Adventure is an excellent children’s series.

Digimon Adventure tri. is an average adult series.

Sure, a lot of dumb things happen in Adventure, but you can give it a pass because it’s a “kids show”. Overall, it was still an excellent series for kids, so much so that parts of it still holds up even when you view it as an adult with better critical thinking. That’s amazing.

Tri. is the better written series when directly compared but, well, it had to be. Its writing was better because it was aimed at adults, which naturally just lifts the ceiling that Adventure had to be aware of from being aimed at kids. But tri.’s many instances of bad writing isn’t as easily forgivable, as it is aimed at adults, so when it’s dumb . . . it’s just really dumb.

So, even though tri. is technically better written overall, I still think Adventure is actually the better series. How is that possible? Well, if someone asked you to recommend a good children’s show, you’d definitely say, “Digimon Adventure”. But if someone asked you to recommend a good series, you would NOT say, “Digimon Adventure tri.” At least, I wouldn’t.

And that’s it! Well done if you’ve made it to the end. I don’t think I will ever write about tri. again. See you in the next post about the Digimon Adventure: 2020 reboot series. :)

#digimon #digimon adventure #digimon adventure 02 #digimon adventure tri #digimon tri #digimon adventure last evolution kizuna #review #tri thoughts #english dub #chosen children #taichi yagami #yamato ishida #analysis #?#just my very long thoughts on the issues i had with their characterisation

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comfy-whumpee · 5 years

Text

Overnight 1

This drabble brought to you via help and permission from the wonderful @crash-bump-bring-the-whump whose Will is a PERFECT, PRECIOUS GEM and an extremely good friend.

Sleeping in a new place used to be difficult for Ty, but somewhere along the line, it stopped being a problem. Getting his brain to quiet long enough to rest is hard, but he doesn’t need anything else to help him, after the clean room. As long as he feels secure, he doesn’t even need a cushion.

He has one, though. A cushion, and blankets, and a sofa all for him at Will’s place. It’s funny, a little bit – he can do just fine at home on his own, he’s proven that. But when Jim suggested he stay at a friend’s while he was away, it just seemed like such a better idea. Even if Will probably spent half the day cleaning for his sake.

Despite that, he can’t sleep. Unfamiliar place, new sounds, the little running commentary at the back of his head over how many people have probably been on this sofa, how many hands have touched the blankets and cushions he’s touching, and quietly, very quietly, the voice that wonders whether Jim will actually come back, or if he’s left again, dumped Ty here so that he can escape.

So when the door opens, he jerks upright.

“Sorry.” Will’s low, distinctive voice carries from the doorway. “Didn’t mean to startle you.”

Ty takes a quick, deep breath, so his voice doesn’t shake. “S’okay,” he says. “You alright?”

“Yeah.” The reply is quick, easy... “Just having a night.”

Fear is buried by empathy. He thinks he understands that. “Mm.”

Will hovers for a moment more before asking, “Can I sit down? Just by the couch, not gonna touch you.”

Ty smiles a little. He wonders if Jim primed Will on how to interact with him. “Is that – if it’s okay with you?”

Will sits, leaning back against the arm. No touching. “Yeah, don’t worry about it. I don’t wanna kick you off if you’re comfy.”

“Thank you,” he replies, resting his head back against the same arm of the sofa. Strange, that he’s more relaxed, now that Will’s here. “Wha’s up?”

There’s a hesitation before the answer. “Having some bad memories, bad dreams.” The sound of fingers scuffing the carpet. “Company helps, reminds me where I am.”

Oh. Other people have those too?

“What d’you dream about?”

Maybe he shouldn’t have asked that. It slipped out, sleepy as he is. He blinks hard, trying to wake himself up properly. He shouldn’t have asked that.

But then Will is answering. “Sometimes I dream about being back, back with the guy who had me for a while.” He pauses again. “Do you get dreams like that?”

“Yeah,” Ty sighs. He stares up at the dim ceiling, listening to Will’s breathing. The conversation is slow, and easy, in the dark. “It was a woman for me, though,” he admits. “And...I wake up on the bathroom floor, sometimes.”

“Oh wow, yeah, that sounds awful.”

“Mm...” he sighs. “Doesn’t feel awful. Feels...familiar. Kinda safe.” He turns his head, finding the window that lets the light in, trying to remind himself where he is. “In a bad way,” he clarifies sadly.

“I get that,” Will says. “It’s simpler, almost. Nice because you know it.”

It’s kind of funny, to Ty’s tired brain, how much more easily Will talks when it’s to show empathy. It makes him smile. He smiles wider because Will seems to actually understand. “Yeah. Yeah, it was really simple. Same room, same things every day.”

“Not much going on outside that, because it was routine, even if it wasn’t great,” Will supplies. Right again. He must...he knows, he really knows.

Ty realises suddenly the magnitude of what he’s learning about Will. Will has been through it, or through something, enough that he understands Ty now. That’s amazing and – and sad. So horribly sad to realise about a friend.

“It was lonely,” he offers, feeling like he has to match Will’s trust.

“Yeah. Mine was lonely too. Sorry, sorry, I know you have to be tired, and I’m here keeping you up.”

Just when they were talking about loneliness. Ty smiles again, rolling his head to look at the back of Will’s. “That’s what I always say to Jim,” he laughs softly, and Will laughs too. And he doesn’t move.

#ty and will #insomnia #comfort #angst #soft soft #past trauma #ty #my fic #crash-bump-bring-the-whump

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peremadeleine · 4 years

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The Empathetic Dog Thief, Episode 1

Alternative titles: “Will: Deer Hunter and Dog Dad,” “Crimes Against Costuming,” “What Year Is It: A Crime Drama”

Armed with a gin & tonic and one sleepy cat, I finally gave the NBC show another shot.

I didn’t know Will had a superpower. Cool...?

How come he’s play-acting the murderer, though? Just because he can think like a killer doesn’t mean he needs to be reenacting it himself. That’s just confusing for the audience?? The way they did it in the Red Dragon movie was still effective without coming off as “aw, Will’s playing serial killer”

“This is my design” what

Plaid shirt and striped tie, truly a costuming sin. I didn’t love Will’s “modern wild west” costume vibes in Red Dragon, but it was better than this.

Don’t pretend that Jack and Will don’t know each other. Hate that.

Do look forward to hearing how many different ways people can pronounce “Graham” though.

Oh boy, why does Crawford push Will’s glasses up on his face while murmuring “hey” softly like a lover?? They’re strangers. That was mighty uncomfortable.

is he just assuming Will is on the spectrum? Right after they met???

and then Will confirms, but wait, he just has an “active imagination”?

STAY IN YOUR LANE

at least in canon Crawford doesn’t take advantage of people on the gd spectrum, and he spins it as being for the good of the victims. jfc.

“based on the characters by Thomas Harris”

Of course all the victims in the first episode are going to be women

“it’s not about all of these girls, it’s about one of them”--seven minutes in and they’re already ripping off Silence.

“he’s like Willy Wonka. every girl he takes is a candy bar.” no. nO.

“I mean, I would. Wouldn’t you?” no Will, Crawford’s a douchebag, not a murderous psychopath.

8 minutes in, me: WHERE’S THE TITLE CHARACTER THIS IS B O R I N G

“Why is it now a crime scene?” Because Will says so and he’s his own forensic team, apparently. Next question.

Also apparently he only owns red plaid-print shirts. Huh.

Lol Will has empathy for everyone but a grieving father confronted with his daughter’s dead body???

I don’t like the way Crawford is speaking to Will one bit. It’s supposed to be sensitive, but it comes off as condescending and mollycoddling. Ew. That is SO not Jack Crawford.

"You wrote the standard monograph on time of death by insect activity"?!?

so Will IS his own forensic team. Weird flex, but okay.

Antler velvet. Christ, HERE WE GO.

“You not real FBI?” Rip-off of Silence #2!

“You unstable?” Stop coming at Will, Jesus!

Will is a serial dognapper. SIX DOGS. Maybe, maybe, people in this neighborhood are missing their gd dogs, you monster.

none of them are even UGLY dogs

Will’s also drinking tho. One point for Gryffindor.

Oh, another plaid shirt. At least this one’s got a nice pattern. And isn’t red.

The bathroom is painted red, tho. What is it with Fuller and red walls?

Hugh Dancy’s American accent slips when he tries to like...emote. Yikes.

Strangulation is neither quick nor merciful.

A forensic specialist who wears her long-ass dark hair loose down her back and shoulders in the lab should be FIRED.

Implied “we covet what we see every day” scene: Silence Rip-Off #3

nineteen minutes in, me: W H E R E I S H A N N I B A L this is false marketing

Okay, I actually kind of like the “okay, I can cover him 80%” scene. Crawford’s real good at fucking up people’s lives in order to save lives.

twenty-one minutes in, me: HANNIBAL’S HERE THANK CHRIST

will probably regret this thought later

it’s okay, Hans. I, too, hate the career choices that have led me to this point.

the fact that he has tissues by HIS chair in his office is fuckin’ hilarious, what a douche, I love him

same, tho

The costumes and sets and cars are all screaming 70s/80s. But smartphones!

I’m watching this pretty late so my volume is a bit low and I cannot understand 70% of Hannibal’s dialogue, uh oh

Hannibal is supposed to be short so I don’t think this little “oh Crawford confused the short weepy patient with Hannibal” bit is that cute...I’ve always felt like Mads was poorly cast for that reason, among others. Oh well.

I take it all back:

HIS FACE

“No secretary?” “She was predisposed to romantic whims.” Not sure whether I like this line because Hannibal’s the one acting on whimsy or if it makes me cringe because of the way they’re dismissing Hannibal’s former secretary. Hmm.

“Are these yours, doctor?” a) Duh and b) Silence Rip-Off #4

Why the fuck does Crawford think he can just examine Hannibal’s papers? Like?????????

no wonder he hates your rude ass, Jack

HANNIBAL WHY IS WOUND MAN LYING ON YOUR DESK YOU PRECIOUS IDIOT

“Very interesting, even for a layman” Wow, unexpected Red Dragon rip-off (by the Red Dragon adaptation) #1

this whole scene is made of cringe HELP

why is Hannibal dressed in his Easter Sunday suit

Tattlecrimes.com. I’M SPEECHLESS at the stupidity of that.

tabloids are, in fact, still a thing in the Year of Our Lord 2013

No way is Hannibal fucking Lecter going to drink the swill that probably is Jack Crawford’s coffee, as if.

“Not fond of eye contact, are you?” Yes, Hannibal is the only character who should be canonically coming at anyone like this. (But also poor Will.)

But Will, at least look in his direction while he’s talking to you? I also don’t love eye contact...it’s rude not to even look at a person, though.

Hannibal finally used a contraction! He’s human after all. (This is a common Fanfic-Writing-of-Hannibal problem. I used to have it, too. You think to emulate him you have to write lofty, staid dialogue. But we’re talking about Hannibal the Punmaster General here.)

“This cannibal you have him getting to know” I’m sorry, who said anything about cannibals???

Stop incriminating yourself Hannibal honestly

Wait, is the implication that the victim whose lungs were taken is Hannibal’s? I hope not, because what would he be doing in Minnesota, and since when did Hannibal cut people up alive (Krendler notwithstanding--he’s a special case), especially women????? He’s a Monster(TM), but not a fucking sadist.

Will’s wardrobe also contains gingham!

no really, when did they determine that the serial killer was a cannibal?? did I sleep through that part?

“have Dr. Lecter draw up a psychological profile” bitch, please. Dr. Lecter doesn’t work for Crawford.

I don’t like hearing/watching people eat, especially in quiet moments. That’s going to become a problem in this show, isn’t it?

Will’s dream dear is fucking awful CGI. Wow.

That brown blazer--Hannibal would never.

EVERYTHING about Hannibal that should be black--his clothes and his hair--is brown here. It’s...weird.

to quote @random-emerald-thoughts, “my homocidal boy aint about that tawny bullshit”

Hannibal Lecter: food snob--that’s canon.

Don’t like this dialogue, though. And Hannibal bringing anyone he just met food in glorified Tupperware rings very false.

“Uncle Jack” what the fuck

Wow, Fuller jumped directly into the teacup thing right from the start. Yikes. He clearly didn’t understand it. (Clarice isn’t the teacup, bro. The teacup represents time, and disorder, and will it ever be reversed?)

Lots of weird metaphors in this episode overall, though none as bad as the Willy Wonka thing.

Why is Hannibal in Minnesota? Is he a crime-scene investigator now? Is he on the FBI payroll? Doesn’t he have patients with appointments to keep? Social obligations? I HAVE QUESTIONS.

He’s not a priss or a germaphobe. DISLIKE.

Do like the phone call. Just fuckin’ carelessly with people’s lives for the fun of it, that’s our Hannibal.

FBI? Are you FBI, Will?

He shouldn’t have been issued that sidearm if he can’t hold it steady.

One shot would have been plenty. Maybe two. Jfc, the reason Clarice shot Gumb so many times was because he was going to shoot her. Hobbs had a knife, which he dropped, and he was incapacitated by the first/second shot. Silence Rip-Off #5

How the fuck is he still alive and talking?! Will plugged him about eight times!

Call the police, Hannibal, or the ambulance, or take off your jacket and provide first aid to this girl. You’re a doctor!

It really is like he wants to be arrested or something.

And then he gets to ride in the ambulance?? Just Because?

Overall, it was...not very good, imo, poorly paced, very poorly written, with acting that jumped wildly from “very good” to “awful,” sometimes from the same actors. Intense cringe throughout a lot of the script. Ripped off Silence of the Lambs, a superior movie about many of the same characters, way too many times. Will is boring and I don’t care about him, but then I also don’t care about canon Will. And I still think Mads Mikkelsen was poorly cast as Hannibal...the costumes aren’t doing him any favors, either. We’ll see if he can bring me around.

Some moments of genuine humor that I appreciated, though, and some nods to the canon that I grudgingly appreciated, too, including Hannibal being a dick and Jack Crawford fucking up people’s lives.

Hopefully if you made it this far into my observations you got a kick out of them. I probably won’t go into this much detail for every episode, but I do intend to try to watch at least all of Season 1.

Painful as it might be.

#this is long you've been warned #and it's mostly snarky #but there are some concessions; I didn't hate EVERYTHING

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danganronpedits-archived · 4 years

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what’s up! hope you don’t mind if i ask for a kin matchup 👉🏻👈🏻 where to start.. i really enjoy collecting little things, like rocks, maybe a cool little toy thing i find, not really hoarding them i don’t think? i just have a little shelf of them. i ramble a lot, if you couldn’t tell, and love to talk when i’m comfortable in a situation! if i’m not comfy though, i’ll probably try and keep quiet. i say sorry a lot and feel guilty over small things that i probably shouldn’t be. ( i’ll continue)

+ AH SHIT IM SORRY HI ITS THE 👉🏻👈🏻 ANON!! danganronpa would be preferred!! so sorry! on a more positive note for my description, i’m very affectionate and try to stay positive. i also try to help a lot! i used to be a huge empath but recently it’s been more hard to do all that. i do still try and help- i use humor and helping others to cope ( and animal crossing smh ) and am also quite the simp for my friends 😔 i’ve been told i’m a more whole kazuichi smh. that’s all i think? have a great day

+ update from 👉🏻👈🏻 anon i’m really stupid and realized your post might not be directed towards me??? i’m really sorry LMAO i’m dense asf

tumblr legit ate the first paragraph of this. SO LET’S RE-ADD IT don’t worry about it at all!! the post wasn’t directed at you but i am really thankful that you added a source- plus, all of the descriptkin-ing you did was really helpful!! thank you so much for that too!!

first off, i match you with...!

kazuichi souda!

honestly... i was reading this and yes, there are tiny nuances where you’re different from him- but the best description i could give you is... a wholesome kazuichi! i think that both of you do genuinely want to help your friends and be affectionate towards them, as well as ending up simping for them a lot regardless of your attraction to them. which goes along with being very affectionate, though i feel like the two of you are both the types to try and keep boundaries in mind! especially with what you said about feeling guilty for little things, though neither of you seem like the types to really let it get you down! he would definitely use the 👉🏻👈🏻‘s the way you do, haha~.

you both are big ramblers when more comfortable, and get really hyped about the things you’re into! however, the both of you are quick to back down whenever there’s something more hostile coming your way. but i also feel like souda’s totally the type to use his mechanic skills to help others, though, and definitely cope with humour, the way that you do- and um, not to be creepy, he does seem like the type to look away from his own problems by helping others with theirs. and i’d imagine that you share that with him! plus, i do think that he tries to have empathy for others and stay positive, but can get overwhelmed by other things going on in his life- that’s another thing i think you share with him.

i also match you with...

tenko chabashira!

okay i know that tenko’s a bit of a controversial character sometimes, so if you’d like me to take her off of this list i’m more than happy to. however, i do think that you have a lot in common with her- she can definitely be chattier at times, although if she’s uncomfortable with a situation(which admittedly doesn’t happen much ingame) she tends to get quieter and more thoughtful. she would definitely keep random little stuff she finds- adhd solidarity that’s all i’m saying, and she’s definitely affectionate and positive a lot of the time!

plus, even though humor isn’t her biggest thing, she definitely tried to help others as seen in the case of himiko specifically, as well as other characters like shuichi though it’s in her own personal way. even if she’s not the best at showing it sometimes, she does want to genuinely help the people around her and can simp for the people closer to her, as you say! and i feel like you share a lot of these traits with her! oh, also, something i forgot to add, she’s very much in tune with her emotions, and i think that she has a lot of empathy, too! although it can get a bit sidetracked.

finally, i match you with...

masaru daimon!

you might have to hear me out with this one. masaru isn’t... *exactly* like you but the two of you have several similarities! at least, in my eyes. first off, the two of you definitely are the types to collect little things you’re interested in- light spoilers for another episode, but in his bedroom, his desk is rather messy and cluttered with little stuff related to his talent. while he doesn’t say sorry a lot, i think his upbringing makes him feel very guilty for a lot of his shortcomings, however he tries not to show it. this ties into another big part of his character.

both of you seem... not exactly reckless, but very chaotic and energetic! this, along with him considering himself a ‘hero’, is where i think you two really meet in terms of similarities- both of you, even if sometimes you’re not the best at showing it, are really caring when it comes to your friends and are very affectionate towards them, wanting to help them and support them at almost any cost. plus, whenever he’s more comfortable, masaru is a big talker who huffs and puffs, but whenever he’s uncomfortable he gets more... um, it’s a touchy subject. but he definitely starts talking less and curling in on himself. it’s not exactly the same as you, but there are parallels between behaviours! sorry, that sounds sort of creepy. this is a smooth segue.

here we go! the last handful of characters, in order of most to least similar to you(imo, of course)! in the high category, you seem similar to kaito momota! in the somewhat category, you remind me of yasuhiro hagakure and kotoko utsugi! lastly, in the not very, but rather low category, you reminded me a bit of himiko yumeno and sayaka maizono!

wow! that was a bit of a doozy to write, as the tags essay might suggest lol. it’s... kind of hard to associate that much detail with just one character... that’s why this post is really long, as a lot of the kin matchup posts are- i do have these separately tagged, so maybe it’s not too bad? though i can make a special tag for these if you all would like! but anyways, i hope this was helpful, anon! if you’d like anything changed, please let me know, and remember that you know best !!

-mod tsu, who’s... probably gonna post the next matchup tomorrow. sorry! happy pride, everyone!

#honestly yall should see the draft for this post #i like made bullet point lists. i like psychoanalysed this person in the drafts.#cause as much as i like more detail i also start saying 'well... they're MOSTLY like this character BUT THIS PART IS DIFFERENT' ajsdjajd #literally went on the wiki and found like 6 other characters that were like this anon like half of the way #and then fell short the other half #and especially because like #'more wholesome kazuichi' is exactly how id describe this person #but ingame the closest thing to a more wholesome kazuichi is tenko #but that's *not what i'm looking for*#..sorry for the tags essay.#kin matchup #anonnie #i was just so confused and feral in the drafts #make 6 into 8 LOL #tenko mention #<for blacklist!#ask #request finished #anon

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sunshineoptimismandangels · 5 years

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Autumn in Lima

Chapter Four - Can’t Take My Eyes Off You

Pairing: Klaine Author: Sunshineoptimismandangels Fic Word Count: 14,279 Chapters: 4/? Summary: For this Tumblr prompt:

“I’m stopped at a light and you’re singing with your windows rolled down and wow do you have an amazing voice” Kurt and Blaine have the perfect meet cute, but how do you make it work after you meet the man of your dreams?

Read from the beginning: AO3 | FF.net

The day started with coffee. Even though they’d had coffee with breakfast, Blaine insisted the little coffee shop near his house had the best coffee and Kurt was always willing to taste test caffeine. Kurt ordered a salted caramel mocha, he was spoiling himself this weekend in more ways than one, and after ranting about the coffee Blaine just ordered a drip coffee and added some sugar… but Kurt figured no one was perfect.

The coffee was good, but the company was better. They ended up taking their drinks to a nearby park and walking around a large duck pond sipping their coffee and talking as the backs of their hands brushed together. Kurt felt an almost electric tremor run up his arm every time his hand brushed against Blaine’s warm skin. He was working up the nerve to just reach out and hold hands when Blaine beat him to the punch.

Kurt glanced down to their entwined fingers, loosely and perfectly tangled together, and back up to Blaine’s face. Blaine kept talking about classes he was taking at NYU as if nothing had happened, but there was a redness to his cheeks that gave him away. Kurt covered his smile by taking a sip of coffee. The fact that Blaine would blush at holding hands after they slept together last night was just… extremely endearing.

Kurt found he might have to change his mind on no one being perfect as he and Blaine continued to enjoy the warm morning sun and the cool autumn breeze. Blaine was just as easy to talk to this morning as he was yesterday, holding hands, chatting, laughing, Kurt watching Blaine’s beautiful profile and dancing eyes - he could feel his heart melting down to his Taft boots.

“I grew up playing on that playground,” Blaine said pointing to the spot they were passing where children were swinging and laughing and cashing each other around the jungle gym. “Ohio born and raised.”

Kurt nodded, Blaine knew he’d been born in Lima himself. “Was it hard?” Kurt asked thinking back to his childhood and teen years. It had been hard for him. Of course, Kurt had lost his mom at about the age of some of the children they were passing.

“Hard?” Blaine asked turning to look at him.

Kurt shrugged, “I guess maybe not so much until you got older. I mean… being gay in a conservative town?”

“Mmmm,” Blaine took a long sip of coffee, but Kurt could tell he wasn’t stalling just thinking it over. “Yeah. High School, in particular, was very… difficult. Especially before I transferred to Dalton.”

Kurt waited for him to elaborate, but he didn’t - instead, Blaine squeezed Kurt’s hand and sent him a little smile, “Was it hard for you?”

“Yes.” Kurt nodded slowly, “High School was tough. And… my mom died when I was eight, so I guess I have a clouded view of childhood in general.”

Blaine stopped walking and faced Kurt his brow furrowed and his eyes searching, “Kurt, I knew your mom wasn’t in the picture anymore, but I didn’t… I’m so sorry.” Blaine’s voice was filled with concern and Kurt could feel his own eyes start to burn with unshed tears just at the rawness of Blaine’s empathy.

Kurt shook his head and smiled the best he could. He didn’t cry every time he talked about his mom anymore. He never stopped missing her, but twelve years after her death he’d found he could talk about her without breaking down. “It was a long time ago.”

Blaine started walking again but kept casting glances at Kurt as if making sure he was okay talking about this, “You should tell me all about her.”

Kurt laughed at Blaine’s eagerness, but he didn’t need to be asked twice to talk about his mother. They found a park bench and Blaine sat down with his legs crisscrossed on the bench, leaned his chin on his hand, and turned to Kurt as they talked. Kurt ended up telling him things he hadn’t talked about in years. How his mom taught him to cook and bake and how she always sang around the house. About her illness and how hard things were at first when it was just him and his dad.

“My dad didn’t know what to do, how to be a widower with a young son. It was rough, for a few weeks there it felt like I’d lost both of my parents. And then… one day he woke me up, brought me downstairs and said we were making pancakes the way we use to with mom… I don’t know, it was like something sparked in him and he knew he had to make us feel like a family again.” Kurt looked at Blaine’s golden eyes, calm and patient, not prying, but waiting for more. How was it that Blaine got him to admit things he didn’t normally say out loud? “He… he really is the best dad. He is the only reason the thought of going to New York next year scares me. I hate to leave him.”

“He has your stepmom now though, right?”

Kurt nodded and smiled thinking for Carole and his dad together. “Yes, and Finn.”

“He sounds like the kind of father who just wants you to be happy. And from what I’ve gathered… you aren’t really that happy here are you?”

“Yeah,” Kurt answered, and looked down to find their fingers had interlaced again. “I really want to get out of Lima.”

“Soon.”

“Soon.” Kurt agreed with a grin.

“And you’ll even have other friends in New York when you get there, right?

"Yes, Artie, a friend from Glee club, is there taking film classes. And my friend Rachel is there. I’ve been told she is the female version of me, but besides the fact that we are both perfectionists and fiercely competitive, I don’t really see it. Her sense of style is heartbreaking.”

Blaine laughed at that, “And yours is impeccable.”

“Clearly.”

They talked a little more about friends and New York and the fact that even though Blaine had met some people he really liked at NYU he hadn’t found any friends as close as those he had in high school. “I love being in New York,” Blaine said wistfully, “Don’t get me wrong I feel like it is where I belong… but this past year on my own has been a little lonely.”

“I can’t imagine you not making friends immediately everywhere you go.” Kurt teased. Blaine was so kind and personable and seemed like the kind of charmed person who could never really be alone, but that probably wasn’t fair. Even warm, approachable personalities must have a hard time really connecting with people sometimes.

“I’m not always as… open with people as I wish I was. It is easy to seem so cheerful that people assume you don’t need anyone. Does that make sense?”

Kurt nodded, his heart constricting at the thought of Blaine lonely in New York. “Yes, it does.” He squeezed Blaine’s hands, “I’m glad you are open with me.” Kurt couldn’t help himself, he leaned forward to place a quick peck to Blaine’s cheek, he wanted to do more than that, but they were still in Ohio and in a public place.

Blaine’s eyes widened and his cheeks flushed, “Yum… lunch, maybe?”

Kurt looked up at the sun high in the sky and realized they’d spent the whole morning talking. Kurt’s stomach growled at the mention of lunch and Blaine let out a low chuckle.

“Lunch would be great.”

They stopped at a little bistro to eat and ended up hogging their table and talking for hours. Kurt could honestly spend all day talking to Blaine… and doing other things with Blaine, Kurt thought as he watched Blaine’s eyes, and lips and perfect hands as he animatedly told a story. Memories from the night before flashed through Kurt’s mind. Yeah, there were other things Kurt wouldn’t mind doing with Blaine. To Blaine.

Kurt’s less than pure thoughts were interrupted when Blaine got a text. Blaine’s brow furrowed as he read it.

“Is everything okay?”

“It’s just Cooper.”

“Okay.” Kurt waited, seeing some kind of war going on behind Blaine’s eyes.

“Cooper and I… we are closer now than we use to be. Growing up I was sure he actually hated me.”

“Oh.” Kurt was surprised by that. Yes, there was a lot of teasing when they were with Cooper this morning, but to Kurt, it was obvious Cooper adored his little brother.

“It turns out he didn’t hate me, he was just being a teenaged jerk, and then my parents split up and in the past few years things between us have gotten a lot better…”

“But?”

“But I guess I still haven’t completely forgiven him for years of torment and neglect.” Blaine said with a sigh as if this was something he didn’t readily admit, “And now he is whining because I’ve been gone all day and I fly back to New York tomorrow and he says we haven’t spent any time together. Which is an exaggeration because we spent days together with mom before the wedding.”

Kurt’s heart sunk, both at the thought of Blaine leaving tomorrow and the idea that he’d kept him from spending time with his brother. “Maybe he wants time with just you?” Kurt suggested, even though he hated the idea of Blaine going home and their day together being cut short.

Blaine sighed, “Yeah, we really only see each other a few times a year.”

Kurt reached out and grabbed Blaine’s hand over the table, “You should go hang out with your brother.”

Blaine looked up from their clasped hands and shrugged, “But what if I’d rather spend the rest of the day with you?”

Kurt’s heart fluttered in his chest and it was everything in his power not to say, “Then you should do that.” Instead, he cleared his throat and looked down at his empty plate. “I would love that… but I would also feel awful about keeping you from your family.” He looked up again and met Blaine’s eyes, “Family is important and it seems like Cooper is trying.”

Blaine let out a huff and nodded, “Yes. I guess he is. And I was kind of short with him this morning.”

They were quiet for a moment, Blaine rubbing his thumb over the back of Kurt’s hand. “We still have the drive back to my house to pick up your car.”

“That’s true.”

“And when I get back to New York we can call each other, and Facetime.”

“We absolutely will.”

Blaine smiled and Kurt felt his heart skip a beat. They paid their server and got back to Blaine’s car. They’d talked none stop for hours, it was already after 3:00 pm, but now that their time together was nearing an end Kurt couldn’t think of a single thing to say.

Blaine had a playlist playing through the car speakers and Kurt almost sighed out loud when Frankie Valli’s voice cut through the silence.

“You’re just too good to be true I can’t take my eyes off you.”

Kurt glanced over to Blaine who was studiously watching the road ahead of him.

“You’d be like heaven to touch I wanna hold you so much.”

Blaine was like heaven to touch, Kurt knew from experience.

“At long last love has arrived, and I thank God I’m alive.”

For crying out loud! If Kurt wasn’t careful he was going to get overly emotional over saying goodbye to a man he’d known less than a week.

“Pardon the way that I stare. There’s nothing else to compare.”

Kurt forced himself to look away from Blaine. This was getting ridiculous.

“The sight of you leaves me weak. There are no words left to speak.”

Kurt accidentally let out an audible groan of frustration and blushed when Blaine glanced over at him. Blaine shot him a dazzling smile and when the chorus started to play Blaine pumped up the music and belted along, singing exaggeratedly.

“I love you baaaaby! And if it’s quite all right, I need you baby! To warm the lonely nights. I love you, baby. Trust in me when I saaaaay!”

Kurt couldn’t suppress his laughter and soon his melancholy mood evaporated as he joined in singing just as loud and obnoxiously.

“Oh, pretty baby! Don’t bring me down I pray. Oh pretty baaaaby. Now that I’ve found you stay. Oh pretty baby, Trust in me when I say it’s okaaay!”

The drive back to the Anderson’s home was short and by the time Blaine pulled into the driveway the song was fading out, they were both laughing, and Kurt felt much better.

Blaine turned off the engine and faced Kurt with a huge smile, “I do love singing with you.”

“Yeah, we were really good.” Kurt joked.

“Even when you’re being silly your voice is gorgeous,” Blaine looked Kurt in the eye and then quickly glanced down to his lips.

Kurt could only nod in response as Blaine leaned forward, his lips almost meeting Kurt’s before he stopped. It was a question, he was waiting for Kurt to close that space between them. Kurt took a breath, his heart pounding in his chest as he brought his lips to Blaine’s. The kiss was sweet and gentle, lips brushing against each other as Blaine reached up to cup the back of Kurt’s neck bringing him in even closer as the kiss built heat.

Kurt reached out for the front of Blaine’s shirt twisting his fingers in the fabric and pulling Blaine in. He gasped into the kiss as their chests met and Blaine half crawled over the gearshift and Kurt let himself fall backward, wedged between Baine’s body and the car door.

“God Kurt,” Blaine panted against his skin, “I just can’t get enough of you.”

Kurt let out what sounded like an almost hysterical laugh as he awkwardly shifted his body under Blaine’s so that his legs were on the driver’s seat while Blaine was laying over him. All while keeping his lips pressed to any part of Blaine’s skin - mouth, jaw, neck - he could reach. Kurt spread his hands over Blaine’s back as Blaine’s lips danced across his, and his hands found their way to Kurt’s hair.

This would be easier if they moved inside, but Blaine’s brother was there. It would be easier if they just moved into the backseat so the gearshift wasn’t jabbing into Kurt’s side, but he refused to do anything that might break the urgency of this moment. That same deep desire from the evening before heated Kurt’s blood, he wanted Blaine.

Kurt’s hands found their way under Blaine’s shirt and smoothed over his warm skin as Blaine moaned against him. “Fuck Kurt.”

Blaine’s swearing made Kurt’ head dizzy and he hooked a foot around Blaine’s leg and Blaine moved a hand from Kurt’s hair to start to try and unbutton the front of Kurt’s shirt. This was crazy! They were in the front seat of a car in the middle of the day! But Kurt didn’t care, he sucked gently against Blaine’s neck as he deftly undid Kurt’s buttons.

There was a tapping noise somewhere in the back of Kurt’s mind, but he ignored it as his hips shifted upwards against Blaine. But then there was the loud obvious sound of someone clearing their throat and a louder tap. Suddenly Blaine’s lips were gone and Kurt looked up at the window behind his head to see someone standing outside the car and tapping on the passenger-side window.

“Really Blaine?” A familiar voice called out, “Is this what you’ve been doing all this time? And in the bright light of day!”

Blaine groaned, “I am actually going to kill him. I’m serious, I’ll need your help burying the body.”

“I’m almost impressed with your audacity, Squirt. But let Kurt up for air.” The voice continued to call through the window.

Cooper. Kurt’s sluggish brain finally realized. Cooper Anderson was standing outside the car.

Blaine awkwardly moved off of Kurt, careful not to knee him. And Kurt hurriedly started to button his shirt and flatten down his hair. “Oh my god.”

“Cooper, you are dead!” Blaine shouted.

Cooper laughed, “At least bring it inside, I’m worried the neighbors will see.” He said and then walked back to the house with a shit-eating grin on his face.

Kurt was sitting up now, cheeks flushed and heart beating rapidly.

“I cannot believe he did that again.” Blaine sighed, but he seemed more embarrassed than actually angry.

“He was right though,” Kurt panted looking out and the pristine upper-class neighborhood Blaine’s mother lived in. “Anyone could have seen us.”

“Oh god,” Blaine ran a hand down his bright red face, “I am so sorry Kurt. I didn’t mean too… I would never purposely put you in a bad situation.”

“Blaine,” Kurt smiled and reached out to cup Blaine’s cheek, “It takes two to tango as they say. I was as much at fault here as you.”

Blaine smiled and chuckled before swooping in to place a soft kiss to Kurt’s cheek. He then turned and opened the door sliding out of the car. Kurt took another moment to straighten his shirt and smooth down his hair and Blaine walked to his side of the car and opened the door for him. Kurt hopped out, “You’re such a gentleman.”

“I wasn’t a few moments ago.”

Kurt felt his cheeks heat up, “Neither of us was.”

Blaine nodded towards his house, “Do you want to come in?”

“Yes.” Kurt glanced at the house longingly, he wanted more time together, and then back to Blaine, “But I really shouldn’t. You did come home to spend some time with your brother. And not kill him.”

Blaine chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck, “He was just looking out for us.”

“He was,” Kurt nodded. They stood there in silence for a moment neither seemingly knowing what to say next.

“I guess this is goodbye then?” Kurt finally spoke up his voice sounding small in his own ears.

“Oh,” Blaine’s face scrunched up in displeasure, “I don’t like that at all. How about we just say… ‘I’ll talk to you soon?”

Kurt felt a wide smile cross his face, “Yes. Much better. I’ll talk to you soon.”

Kurt leaned in for a quick hug and then turned to his car leaving before he couldn’t force himself to do so. From his car, he watched Blaine as he stood outside and waved to him. He stood outside until Kurt was down the street and couldn’t see the Anderson’s house anymore.

Kurt sighed and rubbed his forehead, a headache was coming on. What now? They would talk. Kurt knew they would. If Blaine didn’t call him tomorrow Kurt would definitely make that call himself. But then what? They lived and were both busy with school and separate lives six-hundred miles away from each other.

This may have been the best weekend Kurt had ever had. By far the best date… if you can call spending twenty-one straight hours together a date… Kurt had ever had. He was half in love with a man he’d just met and who lived in another state!

Kurt groaned and leaned his head against his steering wheel at a red light. What was he going to do?

Halfway home he found himself singing under his breath, “But if you feel like I feel, please let me know that is real. You’re just too good to be true, I can’t take my eyes off you.” He was so screwed. Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3

#klaine #klaine fic #my fic #fic: au #klaine fanfic

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