#but you CANNOT prioritize your partner's mental health above your own

[introspective-journaling]

Journaling 1

Recently I forgot everything I know and all of the promises I made to myself to love myself💔. For four years I ignored red flags, gaslighting and manipulation, alcoholism, cheating, secrets, lies, and my own emotions and intuition. I lowered my standards until we were wrapped up in the cycle of a toxic and mentally abusive relationship. Conversation after conversation, argument after argument, chance after chance until I ended it with the police to keep things from blowing up. Being in this type of relationship physically alters the brain, but I didn't know that! I was asking my therapist about my memory and telling my psychiatrist I still have anxiety. Adjusting medication dosages, which probably only made things worse. A person can't heal or grow in toxicity anyway. It's hard to let the people we love go, even when they aren't good for us and we're no longer good for them either. That's hard to accept, but I didn't like who I was becoming.

I couldn't understand someone with seemingly good intentions, asking for more chances while not truly valuing me, themselves, life, or the relationship they're in. Why stay? There was a time they were too good to be true and I'd still get glimpses of that person, so in some way I understand why people struggle to leave. I saw the patterns, but couldn't link my partner specifically with terms like "psychological abuse," if that makes any sense? I'm still not sure if everything we went through was related to their alcoholism, or mental health, or if it's truly a part of their personality too. I really struggle to believe it's who they are deep down, but I can still hear the irritation in their voice from me wanting just a moment out of their day. I still see the emptiness and boredom in their eyes, while I could hardly keep back the tears. I can feel the burning intensity in the same eyes that were empty and cold only hours ago. Turning them on and coming suddenly to life, to convince me you'd never do anything to hurt me. It's hard to respond, my heart is in my throat and my mind is screaming... "Then why do you keep hurting me?"

Regardless of whether it's intentional, hurtful behavior cannot go unchecked or unresolved. If someone can't respect your feelings, take accountability, or follow through on an apology, they don't have the maturity for a healthy and sustainable relationship. When a person is invalidated and manipulated long enough, they become insecure and start contributing to the toxicity. I know this, I've known for a long time yet I kept letting it all slide when nothing got better. I knew this was unhealthy, it felt unhealthy, my feelings and boundaries were ignored, I felt unwanted and intentionally misunderstood, arguments were heated, I wasn't taking care of myself, I called attention to words and behaviors that hurt to no avail, and I still didn't come to the conclusion from all of that, that my partner was using me, keeping me around. Or I simply wouldn't accept it.

The other side to them could be incredibly caring and I think maybe they actually did care at one point a few years ago. They were affectionate, helpful, shared my responsibilities, helped with projects, listened to my thoughts and feelings, prioritized our quality time (all of which I'd hear about during arguments, even if I didn't ask for anything). They spoke kindly, and would repeatedly say they'll treat me better, talk to me respectfully, communicate more, get help with drinking, be more open and honest. They talked beautifully about the future, life together, sent me love songs and promises to change, even talked about buying a house and getting married, reassured me that they truly wanted me. Wanted me... Yes that much was true, but wanting me isn't valuing me, isn't loving me.

Those glimpses of who they were when we met and how wonderful we could be together, are what kept me going... It was rarely followed through, but they used all of the above to say they've "been trying". This led to more confusion, I questioned my own perceptions and thought I might be overreacting. I wasn't sure if I was coming or going in that relationship. All I knew in the moment was that I loved this person. I came to trust them enough to open up in ways I never thought I would, and to hope for a future I didn't realize I wanted. I was craving their quality time and seeking validation, but they had withdrawn to an emotionally unavailable place that I couldn't reach. I cried for like a week and a half thinking I missed them after they left, until one phone call and the texts that followed put it all into perspective. I don't think most people get this moment of clarity, brutal honesty from the person who keeps hurting them. It's the shortest recovery time I've ever experienced from the intense crying phase of a breakup. I do still cry and have moments of deep sadness, but honestly that call and some of the texts made things so clear to me that I have very little to grieve over anymore. The reminders still hurt when I'm hit with intrusive memories, but I'm allowing myself to accept and honor my feelings. Then I have to move on with each day. I have chosen to forgive her and I'm trying to forgive myself too.

*****************************************************

🔒Now for the 🔑self love and words of affirmation🔓

❤️LOVE YOURSELF!❤️

🌹I love myself!

🌹I am beautiful!

🌹I love my body!

🌹I love my face!

🌹I love everything about me!

🌹I am caring!

🌹I am passionate!

🌹I am strong!

🌹I can achieve anything!

🌹I deserve everything I want in life!

🌹I have a big heart and all of my love is for me!

🌹I won't give anyone space in my life who loves me

less than I love myself!

Would the person you're with be okay with you acting the way they do in the relationship? 🤔 Mirror them for a week and find out. Recognize what you deserve and have the courage to leave someone who doesn't deserve you!

Think about this 💭. What would you tell your best friend, your sister, daughter, niece if they were going through what you are? Treat yourself as another loved one, and only allow people into your life who respect and appreciate you. Would you want anyone else to feel the way this person makes you feel? You are just as important and worthy of genuine, healthy love! Bring people into your life who you feel safe and proud to also bring into your family.

Love yourself, take care of yourself first!

[clairenatural]

I honestly think Cas WAS in the wrong though for leaving Dean in 15x04 because he knew Dean was hurting and he knew Dean had low self worth and extreme abandonment issues. Like I get why he did it and I don’t hold it against him but it wasn’t the right thing to do

this is a castiel apologist blog!!!!

so sorry, but i disagree. it sucked for dean but dean was not in a place where he could listen to cas or be receptive to his help, and it was just hurting cas to stay there and continue trying while being shut down. i don’t blame dean for this, because he has a lot of trauma and abandonment issues to work through, but nobody (fictional or not) is required to sit with their partner and help them work through their issues at their own detriment, especially when their partner is refusing help. of course cas wants to, every partner in this situation wants to, but it’s just more damaging to everyone in the long run. so yeah i do think it was the right thing to do to put himself first for once, even if it hurt dean. both of them were hurting deeply at the moment, and both hurt in the aftermath, but cas leaving was good for him and also their relationship and, arguably, dean, because it forced him to have the “you left but i didn’t stop you” realization which was such a breakthrough (and isn’t only applicable to cas but to all his relationships tbh).

[amysubmits]

Prompt set 18

How do you communicate your needs to your partner?

We have deep and lengthy discussions periodically where we discuss our dynamic and our needs. That’s the main “big picture” way that I communicate my needs. Though I may also occasionally bring up a small thing in a quicker conversation like if I’m having a rough mental health week and there’s something I know I need more of than usual I may basically just say something like i’m really struggling with X and I think Y would help. And with more detailed things, I may just ask for it in the moment like if he’ll hold me or something like that. 

That’s the goal, anyway, and I continue to do better with it.

Is there something (a type of play, an act of service, a rule or requirement) that you don’t enjoy but submit to anyway?

I find “don’t enjoy” to be a bit challenging because I think people can interpret that to mean dramatically different things. To some “don’t enjoy” could basically mean “not something I prefer” and for others “don’t enjoy” may mean really cannot stand. And that difference in how you interpret ‘don’t enjoy’ would make a big difference in my answer. 

I don’t do things that I am deeply uncomfortable with, because I think it’s important to have boundaries and protect your own needs and limits. 

On the other hand, I think part of what I need as a submissive is to at least occasionally do things for my partner that I wouldn’t do if they weren’t what he wanted...so in a sense, they aren’t things I would want to do. Putting my wishes on the back burner for the sake of prioritizing his is very fulfilling to me sometimes, and sometimes feels really good..even better than having my own preferences fulfilled. And so in a round-about way...sometimes putting his wants above mine actually is still fulfilling my wants...sort of.  Hope that makes sense! Wants can be a very layered thing for me, I guess. 

What is something you would really like to learn about or see (in a class or demonstration etc) but wouldn’t really like to do yourself?

I assume this means kink wise. I think to be honest, things that I am not interested in doing myself, I generally prefer to not see. 

How would people in your life react if they knew about your kinky side?

My first instinct is that they’d be shocked. I can also imagine some having a “It’s always the quiet ones...” reaction. I can tell that some people see me as spineless so I’d worry that although CD is well respected by those we know, that just sort of based on sexist reasons or D/s stereotypes, that some may still assume that he had forced me into this or something like that. Maybe I am too cynical and in reality people would be more accepting. I really don’t know. 

[missmentelle]

Hi! I stumbled into your blog and it's amazing! I have so many questions. I will apologize now for it. Husband and wife of 20 years. All of a sudden keeps money and doesn't share it with his wife after they agreed that she wouldn't work. And because he has ADHD (diagnosed and doesn't like taking his meds) she has to remind him to pay the same bills EVERY month? Now she has a car payment because her car broke down, he asks her every month if he needs to pay her car payment. What to tell her?

Same "question" anon. They have 4 children, she does all the house work cooking and parenting. All appointments, school stuff and homework. She did that even when she had the job. He's inconsistent with helping her with ANYTHING so she just got tired of begging and nagging.He spends more time on his phone than he does sleeping. You can tell its taking a tole on her mental state. The problem is he genuinely seems to love her and the kids. They have gone to therapy a few times. Is this abuse?

Well, it’s certainly not a good situation, I can tell you that.

Whether the financial stuff qualifies as abuse really depends on the specifics of their situation. Withholding access to finances can definitely be a form of abuse, but not every couple where one person manages the finances is abusive. Sometimes one person in a relationship handles the money out of convenience, or because dealing with money makes the other person anxious - things start to become abusive when one partner is not able to access money for essentials if they need them, if one partner feels their spending is excessively monitored and tracked by the other partner, or if money is being used to trap one person in the relationship. Does does your friend have access to any money or spending at all? Does she have a credit card? Can she withdraw money from a joint account at a bank branch? If there was some sort of emergency and she needed to leave him, would she be able to finance that herself - for instance, could she afford to put gas in her car and drive to her parents’ house or spend the night at a hotel? Does she have access to spending money or money for basic necessities like groceries? And most importantly, does her husband managing the household finances make her feel trapped and afraid? Or is she mostly just annoyed that bills aren’t being paid without reminders? If her husband was reliable about paying all the bills on time, would this be an issue for her? Again, I don’t know the specifics of their situation, but if the money situation is making her feel like she’s helpless and unable to leave the relationship or like she has to beg for money for basic necessities, I’d be concerned about financial abuse. If she’s got her own credit card for emergencies and is mostly just exasperated that he’s paying the mortgage late every month, I wouldn’t necessarily call this abuse - but again, I wouldn’t call it a good situation either. 

In general, though, it seems like the core issue in this relationship is that the husband is refusing to take responsibility for managing his own mental health, even when it’s taking a toll on his wife. And that is super, super not okay.  As someone who has ADHD myself, I understand how difficult it can be to manage basic life expectations when you have this condition. Things like remembering to pay bills or file taxes on time, being on time for work, meeting deadlines, and keeping up with household chores are more difficult for me than they are for other people - this is a common experience for people with ADHD. I am sympathetic to the struggle. But the fact that these tasks are more difficult for me does not mean that I have an excuse to just... not do them, especially if other people are counting on me to get these things done. It is not my partner’s responsibility to clean up after me or manage the household by himself because I find things more difficult than he does - it’s up to me to communicate with him and find strategies that let me consistently take on half of the workload without my partner having to chase me to get it done. I set numerous reminders, do housework in short bursts, prioritize tasks, listen to audiobooks while I work and hold myself accountable for getting important tasks done. Yes, it sucks sometimes that this stuff just doesn’t come easily to me, but I still don’t have the right to run my partner ragged and automatically expect him to pick up my slack. My ADHD is not my fault, but it is my responsibility. And the same is true for the husband in this situation.  I’m not a huge fan of ultimatums in relationships, but I think it’s time for a come-to-Jesus moment here. The wife needs to sit down with her husband and lay out how this situation is affecting her, what her boundaries are, and what her expectations are going forward. She needs to make it abundantly clear that the relationship cannot continue the way it’s been going, and that something needs to change. What that change looks like is up to them - maybe he needs to go back on his medication. Maybe he needs to hand over control of the finances. Maybe he needs to take on more chores and childcare. Maybe it’s all of the above. Either way, this is not an issue that will resolve on its own - a difficult conversation needs to happen, and there needs to be real, concrete efforts to change. If the husband refuses to change or doesn’t follow through, it’s really up to the wife to decide where her limits are. If the situation never improves, how much more of this is she willing to put up with? Is she prepared to spend the rest of her life constantly nagging a grown man to make the car payment on time and hang up his wet towels? How long is she willing to wait for things to improve? At what point does the stress of this relationship outweigh the positives? She’s the only one who can decide the answers to those questions. The best you can do is to be there for her while she tries to make up her mind.  Best of luck to all of you! MM

[3aris]

“nothing will work unless you do” - Maya Angelou

BLACK LIVES MATTER

WE KNOW ALL LIVES MATTER

BUT RIGHT NOW BLACK LIVES ARE THE ONES IN DANGER!

RACISM:

a complex system of beliefs and institutions that elevates whites at the expense of non-whites.

we all exist in and benefit from this system, whether we notice it or not.

WHITE PEOPLE CANNOT EXPERIENCE RACISM!

- discrimination is not racism

- our society prioritizes and caters to the experiences and benefits of white people. 

- white people hold the power in society. the ones in power cannot be the victims

* IT’S A PRIVILEGE TO EDUCATE YOURSELF ON RACISM INSTEAD OF EXPERIENCING IT *

HOW THE F*CK DOES RACISM STILL EXIST? [@cicelyblaincolsulting]

1. Racism Is Upheld By:

- Systems (media, education, law, healthcare...)

- History (our society is informed by centuries-old habit, biases, & disparities)

- Privilege (difficult to notice, address, and sacrifice. as long as one group benefits from the oppression of another, racism will still exist)

- Micro-Aggressions (everyday slights, comments, & actions uphold racist power structures)

2.The Formation Of Anti-Blackness

- Capitalism (Black bodies have been used as the means of production (worker labor, tools, machinery) to create wealth for Europeans.)

- Slavery (Black people were stripped of autonomy, citizenship, rights, and treated as objects for over 300 years)

- Colonialism (the land we occupy was stolen from indigineous peoples and continues to be pillaged for raw material, natural resources, and human capital for white gain first and foremost.

3. EVEN THE SMALLEST ACTS OF RACISM UPHOLD DOMINANT POWER STRUCTURES

4. Racism Is An Iceberg

- Tip / Visible Part (KKK, neo-nazis, police brutality, racial slurs, hate crimes)

- Majority / Hidden Part (all lives matter, your English is so good, you’re so pretty for a Black girl, what about Black on Black crime, can I touch your hair, where are you really from?)

ANTI-RACISM:

the active process of identifying and eliminating racism by changing systems, policies, practices, and attitudes in order to redistribute and share power. [NAC International Perspectives: Women and Global Solidarity]

WHITE PRIVILEGE:

white privilege doesn’t mean your life hasn’t been hard, it means that the color of your skin isn’t one of the things making it harder

WHAT’S WRONG WITH POLICE [@leftnortheast]

1. Origins of Police in America

- slave patrols of armed white men to enforce slavery & chase down runaway slaves

- after slavery, these same patrols continued to enforce segregation & reinforce violence against Black ppl perpetrated by the KKK

- during the 19th century, the ultra-rich business owners relied on police to stop workers and immigrants from organizing labor unions

- LA’s “thin blue line” enforced segregation in the 1950s. look up “Black Wall Street”

- HISTORICALLY THE MAIN FUNCTION OF THE POLICE IS TO PROTECT WEALTH & ASSETS BY PRESERVING INSTITUTIONAL RACISM

2. Police Today

- when police commit crimes, the investigations are performed by the police themselves (union officials & internal affairs departments)

- only 33% of investigations end in police being convicted, compared to 68% in general pop.

- at least 40% of police families have experienced domestic violence, compared to 10% in the general population

3. ACAB: What It Means

- all cops are bastards

- it does NOT mean that individual cops are incapable of doing good things, but that the institution of policing is harmful and beyond saving

- the laws that “good” cops enforce work to uphold a harmful status quo that keeps working class and POC socially disadvantaged. therefore, there are no “good” cops

- EX: the three other officers who stood and watched Derek Chauvin kill George Floyd. they may be “good” because they didn’t kill Floyd, but they did nothing to prevent Chauvin from doing so.

THINGS TO DO INSTEAD OF CALLING THE COPS [@freedomtothrive]

1. Don’t Feel Obligated To Defend Property

- is someone being actively hurt or endangered by property “theft” or damage?

- if “no,” let it be

2. If Something Of Yours Is Stolen...

- consider going to the police station instead of bringing cops into your community, you may be inadvertently putting someone art risk by calling the cops

3. If You See Someone Exhibiting “Odd” Behavior...

- don’t assume they are intoxicated

- ask if they are ok, if they have a medical condition, and if they need help

4. If You See Someone Pulled Over With Car Trouble...

- stop & ask if they need help or if you can call a tow truck for them

- calling police may result in unnecessary ticketing, target undocumented ppl, etc.

5. Keep A Contact List Of Community Resources

- EX: suicide hotlines, mental health assistance, etc.

- ppl with mental illnesses are 16x more likely to be killed by police

6. Check Your Impulse To Call The Police On “Suspicious” People

- is their race, gender, ethnicity, class, or housing situation influencing your action?

- calling the cops on such people can be death sentences (EX: Trayvon Martin)

HOW WILL WE STAY SAFE WITHOUT POLICE? [@mpd_150] [@wretched_flowers_]

1. Community Members

- mental health service providers, social workers, victim/survivor advocates, religious leaders, neighbors & friends need to look out for one another

- not armed strangers with guns who likely don’t live in the communities they patrol (police)

- society expects police to do too much: violent crimes, traffic stops, chasing loose dogs, etc.

2. What About Violence?

- crime isn’t random, it happens because ppl are unable to meet their needs  EX: money, food, rent, etc.

- this problem can be solved with an emphasis on jobs, education, community centers, mental health resources.

- cops don’t prevent violence, they invite it through constant violent disruption of our communities

3. It’s Not Impossible

- look at the abolition of slavery, the 40hr work week, etc. those were accomplished through gradual progress

- redirect funds away from the police department toward those community-based alternatives listed above. LOOK UP HOW MUCH YOUR CITY / STATE SPENDS ON POLICING.

14 WAYS WHITE PPL CAN MAKE LIFE LESS FRUSTRATING FOR p.o.c. [@privtoprog]

1. trust / listen to POC assessment of a situation

2. don’t assume all POC have same views

3. don’t guess / assume ppl’s race

4. read & share articles relating to daily POC experiences

5. just because you have a POC friend / relative / partner doesn’t mean you can’t be racist. if anything, it means you should be more critical of your actions / words & how they affect those around you

6. don’t play devil’s advocate on race conversations. JUST. LISTEN.

7. understand that America has what it has because it stole land from indigenous people and stole people from Africa to build America

8. care about race on the other 364 days that aren’t MLK Day

9. don’t assume you know what it’s like to experience racism. you don’t & can’t. that’s the point.

10. nothing in your life has been untouched by your whiteness. everything you have would have been harder to come by if you had not been born white.

11. don’t get defensive when someone calls you out on racism, be grateful. it’s a learning moment.

12. move past white guilt. guilt it’s unproductive. just BE BETTER.

13. fighting racism isn’t about you. it’s about liberating POC from a racist world / system.

14. being an ALLY is a verb, not a noun. you can’t be an ally just because you say you are. actions are louder than words.

WHAT WHITE PPL CAN DO OVER TIME [@prettydecent]

1. Research & Learn In Public

- identify, name, & challenge the norms, patterns, traditions, structures,and institutions that keep racism & white supremacy in place

- TALK TO & EDUCATE OTHER WHITE PEOPLE. it’s YOUR job, not POC, to teach white ppl how to fight racism

- let people you care about know this is something you care about

2. Open Your Eyes To Anti-Blackness

- there are no race-neutral spaces, “colorblindness” does not exist.

- Anti-Blackness is the way in which Black ppl have been targeted & stripped of their humanity

- pay attention to CODED LANGUAGE. what do we mean by “good” neighborhoods & “good” schools?

- who starts trends? who gets credit for them? EX: rock & roll

3. Pay Attention To Your White Experience

- we will never full understand Black ppl’s experiences

- look at how your whiteness has impacted your life: encounters with police, airport security? job interviews?

- what are you “good at” and how might your race have affected that?

- white experiences are the social “default,” EX: “Is The Country Ready For Its First White President?”

4. Speak Up & Argue With White People

- silence is a privilege & acts in directly upholding the system of white supremacy

- look at how movies, TV, and other media treats Black and POC, and call it out when you see it.

- hold other white ppl accountable, THERE IS NO GROWTH WITHOUT DISCOMFORT. we make mistakes but that does not mean we can’t learn & grow from them.

HOW TO TALK TO YOUR FAMILY ABOUT RACISM [@jenerous]

1. Intent & Impact

- white ppl say that we don’t INTEND to be racist.

- intent doesn’t matter if the IMPACT of our actions harms someone and/or upholds a racist system

2. Watch Your Tone

- we don’t get to tell Black ppl how to talk about their own oppression (“tone policing”)

- when we talk to other white ppl about race, we need to speak in a way that best conveys the information, feelings aside

3. Tell Stories Of Your Own Privilege

- tell your family members a specific way your white privilege has protected you

- this is also a great opportunity for you to reflect on & better understand your own privilege

- WE LEARN BY TEACHING

4. Share Some Of Your Own F*ck Ups

- admitting you’ve been wrong before helps normalize personal growth

- makes it easier for your family to reflect on their own failures & move on

- vulnerability is strength

5. Make It Okay To Ask Questions

- ask your family if they have questions about racism

- this may bring up stuff you don’t know either, a great opportunity to learn together!

6. Keep Asking “Why Do You Think That Is?”

- find a race-related statistic that you both agree on (EX: “Black ppl are jailed for weed more than white ppl are”)

- ask your family member why they think that statistic is true until there’s no answer that makes sense besides “racism”

7. Plant A Seed Of Doubt

- unlearning a racist system means flipping everything we know on its head.

- that requires small steps, such as getting your family members to question their existing logic around ONE topic (Black hair, cultural appropriation, affirmative action, etc.)

- when they say “hmm... i never thought about that,” you’re making progress!

8. Commit To The Idea That It Is Possible To Change Someone’s Mind

- your own anti-racism journey is proof!

QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF [@is_siigii]

1. Who taught you about race & culture?

2. What can you do to support POC in your community?

3. What are you committed to doing outside of social media to fight racism?

4. How do you behave when you are confronted with racist behavior?

5. What do you want to learn more about?

6. What information could you teach people?

7. In what ways have you ignored this behavior in the past?

8. Why is it important for everyone to work toward ending this injustice?

9. How can you use anti-racist knowledge to change & progress?

10. Do you owe anyone an apology?

11. How do you handle conflicts?

[bettsfic]

The Art of Scraping Through is amazing, you're an incredible writer. I was wondering if you could talk about this detail -- "You take a gratuitous glance at his belly, which looks surprisingly soft, almost chubby." It's so rare to see a description like this on the male lead because fic is so often a place of fantasy washboard abs for the men. Did you decide to do this as a kind of deliberate counter to that? Thanks again for sharing your gorgeous work!

the answer to this is surprisingly long, so if you want the short answer, it’s: i do not like abs.

now for the longer answer!

i cannot look at a man with abs and think “ooh damn u look good” because those abs come with a lot of context i can’t handle. a man who has abs is one who has chosen beauty over food, and is therefore not a man who would ever, under any circumstance, find someone like me attractive, a woman who doesn’t prioritize standardized beauty at all, in herself or other people. fundamentally our priorities are too different – there is no universe where i would get along on a deep level with someone who has abs. abs tell me that a person drinks protein shakes and eats boiled chicken and broccoli every day, counts their macros religiously, and works out at least 10 hours a week. it’s one thing for an actor or model or body builder to have abs – it’s part of the job. they have trainers and have to be Seen. 

but if a 34 year old paramedic in dayton, ohio has a six-pack, that tells me a lot about him and his body image and the way he interacts with the world, and those things are not things i would ever want in a partner. if i write fic to be the ideal, a person with that level of dedication to beauty would never be my ideal.

i used to be a power lifter, and have also slept with a lot of power lifters. men with functional strength often look “chubby” to people who don’t know any better. they have barrel chests and soft tummies, and if they flex, their stomachs may harden but you wouldn’t see defined muscles there, because they’re hidden under an extremely necessary and not at all unhealthy plane of fat. defined muscles are an illusion hollywood has sold us. and because of that, i can’t in good conscience write a chiseled male character without including in his personality and daily habits all the work that entails. 

in scraping through, bellamy is partly defined by his sloppiness and physical unawareness. he takes up too much space. he stands too close to people. he touches people without their permission. he attends so acutely to others that he would never be so preoccupied with himself to exercise for the sake of self-aesthetic. he exercises to be better at his job, because that’s what he cares about. he also exercises because he has a lot of physical energy and it’s fun for him. people who work out in this way are in shape, but they don’t often have toned bodies, especially over the age of 30.

a character’s body is a major indicator of the kind of lives they lead. a body is the result of environment, of daily activity, of personal health and behavioral choices. to write a character who has a toned body when it doesn’t make sense to have one, solely for the sake of ~aesthetic, does a disservice to the story i’m trying to tell, which is grounded in reality.

which brings me to the point you’re making of the ideal male body. i agree, fanfic as a genre is mostly about exploring ideals, and in my PWP, which exists to arouse readers, i incorporate that ideal more so than in my other fic. there’s nothing wrong with writing bellamy as his s1 self, walking around camp shirtless. it’s canon. i’m sure part of the reason bob was casted as bellamy was because of his physique. the women on t100 all wear makeup all the time and have perfectly styled hair. no one came off the ring emaciated even though they’d been living on algae. t100 is a show that concerns itself with maintaining beauty at the cost of logic. that’s an aesthetic choice they’ve made, being a cw show, a genre which often asks us to suspend our disbelief for the sake of visual pleasure. it makes sense for fanfic also to indulge in that mentality. 

but i am not very interested in canon. as a fic writer, i’m concerned with “fixing” the things i see wrong with canon. it bothers me that no one is allowed to be ugly or human on the show, which seems to contradict its entire purpose of this gritty morally grey reality of survival. it is not something i would ever write. in reality, i’m attracted to people who look like themselves and smell like themselves and can see past all the patriarchal bullshit we’re sold about beauty. i love the things that make a person real – crooked teeth and acne and big noses and body odor and hairy legs. 

i also have the context of the actor’s own body image issues, and in the same way i wouldn’t want to describe bellamy as white or pale knowing bob’s Filipino pride (despite the show’s insistence that race isn’t a thing in the future), i also wouldn’t want to describe bellamy’s s5-6 body as anything other than it is. bellamy doesn’t have a six-pack under his bulky layers. he has a tummy, and i find that mercilessly hot. i told a friend that s1 bellamy is the kind of guy i would avoid because he would be trained to think fat women are disgusting and unworthy of respect. in me, he’d see a gross fat girl, if he could see me at all. but s6 bellamy looks like the kind of guy i would hit on in a grocery store and who would think i’m cute. 

ultimately, chubby tummies are my personal beauty ideal. i describe the desired character in most of my long fics as being chubby – clarke in twyd and even in zucchini (and bellamy is openly attracted to her for being chubby, even though it’s her pov), also bellamy in training wheels. whenever i take the time to describe a character exploring another’s body, usually my interest is in reflecting, not the existing physical beauty ideal, but an ideal mind that finds beauty in imperfect body types. i don’t personally desire to be thin; i want to be desired for the body that i have, by a person who puts who i am above physical aesthetics. and a person who is capable of doing that is probably not someone who has a six-pack.

[informative-feminist]

Abortion Masterpost: How To Argue Pro Choice

Lately, I’ve seen a lot of faulty pro choice arguments, so I just want to review a couple of points that we should be making. This post will be followed up by examples and deconstructions of faulty pro choice arguments as well. (Note: bold = anti choice argument, regular text = pro)

1) “Abortion is murder!!”

- There are three ways to define life: a) any being with cells, b) two or more fertilized human cells, or c) a born person, and possibly a viable fetus. Ask the anti which definition they’re using (we already know that) and ask them to explain, in medical terms, where and why they believe life begins wherever they believe it does. 

- If you reach an agreement with them that a fetus is alive (which very well may happen - there’s no denying that even blastocysts are alive, even if they aren’t people with human rights), it’s time to get into legal terms. For starters, abortion cannot possibly be murder, because murder is: 

Intentional. Murder is the intentional taking of a human life; however, this argument is flawed because the purpose of abortion is not to kill, but rather to make a pregnant person no longer pregnant. If there were a way to make a pregnant person un-pregnant instantly without the fetus dying, that would be great - but there isn’t. Fetuses simply aren’t viable when 99% of abortions take place, and pregnancies can’t be transferred. 

Premeditated. In this one, yes, you could argue that abortion is “premeditated” in that it is usually planned out in the form of an appointment at a clinic. But that is irrelevant because murder must also be: 

Done out of malice. Sorry, anti-choicers, but people don’t walk into an abortion clinic thinking, ‘gee, am I excited to kill that damn fetus today!’. They just don’t. People don’t have abortions out of a desire to hurt an embryo - people have abortions because they don’t want to be pregnant. 

If something does not meet these three conditions, it cannot legally be considered murder. Thus, abortion is definitely the termination of a pregnancy, but seeing as that the intent is termination and not killing, it is by no means murder. 

2) But the impact is the same! Even if it’s not murder, it still ends a human life!!

Yes, it does result in the death of a zygote, embryo, or fetus. We can agree on that. See Bodily Autonomy at the very bottom, or check out these posts. X X X

3) But what about adoption?!?! 

Adoption is a great option for people who don’t want to raise a child, but it doesn’t do much for people who do not or cannot be pregnant for nine months. It’s a way to avoid having to raise a child, but it still means a person has to carry a pregnancy for nine months. 

4) Yeah, well we’re talking your comfort for nine months vs. a human life!! 

Pregnancy is incredibly taxing on the body and people with physical or mental health conditions may not be able to handle pregnancy. Straight from the US National Library of Medicine: The pregnancy-associated mortality rate among women who delivered live neonates was 8.8 deaths per 100,000 live births. The mortality rate related to induced abortion was 0.6 deaths per 100,000 abortions. The risk of death associated with childbirth is approximately 14 times higher than that with abortion.

5) But the chances of the mother dying are so slim, but with abortion, the chance of the fetus dying is 100%! It’s better to risk one human life than to deliberately, certainly terminate another. 

That is not your decision to make. Period. Who do you think you are, to tell someone you don’t even know that they should risk their lives in order to push out a baby in nine months? If people don’t want to risk their own life, that’s a perfectly acceptable and understandable choice that they can make with no moral qualms.

6) Well, they consented to this risk when they had sex. If they didn’t want to get pregnant, maybe they should have kept their legs closed! 

a) So, how so you feel about rape victims who get abortions? Do you support a rape exception for abortion? 

b) Just like consent to kissing is not consent to sex, or like consent to driving in a car is not consent to being killed in a car accident, consent to sex is not consent to pregnancy. Consent is not transferable (aka. consent to one thing is not consent to another) and by implying that it is, you are actively contributing to rape culture.  

c) Acknowledging the risk of something is not the same thing as consenting to that risk. Every day, when I get in my car, I acknowledge the risk that I could be killed in a car accident while on the road. But if I should, indeed, get in an accident, I would not be denied medical care simply because “maybe I should have walked instead”. Even if I wasn’t wearing a seatbelt at the time the accident occurred, nobody would deny me lifesaving surgery just because I was irresponsible and failed to protect myself. 

7) Yes, of course I support a rape exception. Rape victims are traumatized. 

How is a fetus conceived in rape any different than a fetus concieved in consensual sex? I thought we were worried about the fetus, the “unborn child”, the “innocent life”. Suddenly, the value of that life is contingent upon the way it was conceived? That doesn’t sound like your priority is saving as many fetuses as possible. That sounds like your priority is policing people’s sex lives to fit your own moral standards. 

Second of all, how would that work logistically? How do you prove a rape? Most sexual assaults that go to court (3.5% of reported rapes and 1.1% of total rapes) take well over nine months to reach conviction (and only 63% of cases that go to court lead to a conviction - see link above). The thing is, pregnancy is only nine months long and it would be nearly impossible to report and prove a rape, as well as have an abortion, within that time frame. 

The only other option in this case would be to believe everyone who seeks an abortion because they have been raped - but if the law were to only provide a rape exception for abortion, I can guarantee you that the rate of false rape accusations would go up. People would believe victims even less than they do now, and rape would almost become normalized because accusations would be so common (and for good reason). 

Bottom line: the goal of “pro-lifers”, especially those who support a rape exception, is to punish people who choose to have sex. 

8) I don’t punish people who have sex! It’s called taking responsibility. I just have a problem with people who have unprotected sex - people who are blatantly irresponsible - and then choose to get an abortion. They even use it as birth control, killing innocent babies so they can go to the club and whore around! (Yes, this is an actual argument I have heard). 

First off: abortion is a very responsible choice to make when faced with an unwanted pregnancy. Even if a couple did choose to have unprotected sex and was faced with pregnancy, abortion is one of three equally responsible choices - parenting, adoption, and, of course, abortion. 

Second: behaving irresponsibly does not warrant a violation of bodily autonomy. Nothing a person can do, warrants their human rights being stripped from them - including in the form of forced pregnancy. 

By the way, forced pregnancy is considered torture by the United Nations (pg. 10, paragraphs 45-50). So yeah, if you’re advocating for forced pregnancy, you’re promoting torture.

Question time: would you be okay with a married person getting an abortion, provided they and their partner were using both condoms and the Pill, but both had failed? Would you be okay with a 20-year-old woman who had a one night stand of unprotected sex and needed an abortion? If you truly really only care about protecting the fetuses, your answer shouldn’t vary at all. 

                      The Argument of Bodily Autonomy 

There’s one last argument - and one of the most popular ones among experienced pro choice advocates - that was not covered in these 8 points. Why? Because really, you can throw in the bodily autonomy argument anywhere, anytime, during an abortion debate. It’s always relevant, because that’s the core of the issue. 

Essentially: as a society, we clearly prioritize bodily autonomy over life. That’s why you can’t be forced to donate blood or bone marrow (even if you are the reason the person needs a donation - for example, if you caused a serious car accident and the other driver needed a blood transfusion, you still could not be forced to donate blood). That’s why rape is wrong - it is a violation of bodily autonomy. Abortion is no different. The fetus is a guest in someone’s body, and regardless of whether it ‘asked’ to be there or not (it didn’t), if the pregnant person decides that the fetus is no longer welcome, then it needs to go.

The bodily autonomy argument is great because you can give anti choicers almost everything they want: you can assume that fetuses are sentient people, you can assume they have full human rights… and even then, they do not have the right to use another person’s body for nutrition, for shelter, without the pregnant person’s continuous consent. No human has that right - in order for the fetus to be able to be above bodily autonomy, it would have to be superhuman (which goes against the personhood argument that anti choicers love so much). 

Bottom line: We cannot have a free society if people do not have control over their bodies. 

Now, this post doesn’t cover all the anti choice arguments you’ll hear. But it does cover the main ones, and hopefully gives you the tools to fight back against them. Good luck! 

[farmer-v]

Music, Stress & Prioritizing My Own Happiness

For those of you who don’t know me too well, music is a HUGE part of my life. My partner and I share a love of vast ranges of music... from old time delta blues to jazz to punk to folk to ragtime to old country to rock n’ roll to bluegrass and everything in between. We have a deep appreciation for the cultural heritage that music holds as well as the astonishing diversity of musical traditions and experimental styles. Furthermore, music (especially live shows) is our escape. It’s one of those things that makes every day worth living. I can’t remember the last time I went a day without listening to my favorite tunes or discovering new ones.

Anyhow, last week we found out sort of last minute about one of our new favorite bands (Westbound Coyote String Band) playing a house show in Eugene. They played with some other super talented bands named Carrion Crows, Handsome Sober, and Xombie Xan. We (Cheddar Bob and I) had been feeling kind of down with the daily grind of things... work, school, work, school, cleaning, sleeping, repeating (with a little bit of fun bus work in between). Despite our relatively unique lifestyle, those daily routines and stresses still get to us sometimes. We decided to say screw it and drive down for the show because we knew there would be just the inspirational people we needed to be around! And man, were we right. 

The night was almost like a recharge of energy and direction. It was a breath of fresh air. We were reminded of the things we truly love and the need to PUT OURSELVES FIRST. At the end of the day, no matter what you are working towards (or who you are working for), your mental health and happiness are always the most important. You have to put yourself first because this is your life, dammit, and you cannot live it for anyone else!! 

In my case, I often get lost in studying and schoolwork because I hold myself to such high standards. I get stressed over silly little things sometimes when I’m feeling really tired or frustrated with the whole system and the way people are. After returning from this epic show, my good friend joked with me in the next class about how he couldn’t believe I skipped class before a big plant genetics exam. He went on to explain how he actually admired me a lot for doing that (because he knows what a dedicated student I am and that I never ever skip classes... yet, like me, he sometimes wishes he would take a break from studying in order to make time for other important things in life). I absolutely love learning, but sometimes my brain gets overloaded. Music is my release (sometimes I relax with yoga and cider too, ha-ha).

So what’s my cheesy takehome message here? Love yourself and do things that make you happy! It’s cliche, but life’s too short. Stress shortens your life even more. Put your mental and physical health above all else. I am learning to prioritize myself more every day. 

[advertphoto]

Will Divorce Ruin My Credit?

Divorce can affect many aspects of your life, but one thing you may not have considered is how it affects your credit. To begin with, what is credit? This is the ability of a customer to obtain goods or services before payment based on the trust that payment will be made in future. There are factors to consider when talking about credit and divorce. Divorce may or may not affect credit depending on a number of factors.

1. If you had any joint credit accounts with your ex-spouse

If you have any joint credit accounts or mortgages with your ex-spouse the outstanding credit will have to be settled. After being through with the court proceedings for the divorce, the judge may have ruled out that your ex-husband or wife has to pay a certain amount after the divorce.

It is important that you ensure that you are following up to ensure this is happening, especially if you find that your spouse is not as concerned as he or she should be, since this may affect you in future. The problem is that you will not have motivation to pay bills with assets that belong to you. The most unfortunate thing is that if these bills that are in your name do not get paid, then your credit will suffer.

So, if you know your name is on the account you should work hard to ensure they are paid despite the fact that probably your ex-spouse was the one who was supposed to make payment. It may occur that you and your ex-partner are in talking terms and may agree that you will both honor your financial deal till you are done, but if that’s not the case, you can pay the bills that your ex-partner is not paying regardless of who is responsible, just to avoid it ruining your credit.

After doing this, there are measures you can take to recover your money such as reporting non-payment to the court since your ex-spouse went against the divorce agreement.

2. If you are unable to pay your bills

Divorce can sometimes be chaotic or messy. A messy divorce may cause you to spend a lot of money on your lawyer making you unable to pay your debts. In other cases one partner might have been the breadwinner, which in most cases is the woman.

This may bring a lot of trouble since the dependent spouse will have trouble covering bills on his or her own. Being insolvent and the scenario of being left with no one to depend on may ruin credit since they may lead to delayed payments or over reliance of credit cards.

Payments should always be on time so as to avoid hurting or ruining your credit due to late payment If your current financial situation makes it impossible for you to pay your bills on time, your credit score may decrease.

If you are in such a situation and wonder what you can do, there are ways in which you can be able to get money to pay your bills. For one, you may find other means of getting employment, work over time, freelancing or hustling which will help increase your income or decreasing your expenses. If you are used to living a lavish lifestyle, then you will have to minimize expenses on luxuries such as spending your weekend in a hotel or travelling to other countries, so as to clear bills. Other options may be moving in with your family or friends, selling your apartment or car in order to get stability.

3. If your ex-partner is still able to access your accounts.

There are cases in which couples will never be friends any more. They may split up causing a lot of drama however there are others who split up peacefully. Disappointment may cause one to do things that he or she has never done especially to the person who he or she once loved.

If your ex-partner is bitter and annoyed due to the divorce and has access to your accounts he or she may go and take a debt in your name. This is a common phenomenon especially with the partner who is legally allowed to access the account since he or she is not responsible for payment. This can be frustrating since your partner may exploit and frustrate you and get away with it just because he or she is legally recognized. The bad thing is that this may happen if that is the only money you have left. You will have to repay the debt that was not taken by you.

Failure to pay the debt may ruin your credit score. The best thing to do after a divorce is to remove your ex-spouse from your credit accounts to make it is an individual account as much as you can as early as you can. It is said that prevention is better than cure.

People also say that divorce may cause distress and affect your mental health. You may tend to think that your ex-partner is good and reasonable and will take the divorce positively so there is no need to eliminate him from your credit accounts only to realize that he has a lot of anger in him so it is good to take precautions.

4. If you have to refinance your home

It may occur that you may decide not to sell the family home. In order to move the house or property into your name, you may have to refinance the mortgage where the first loan is written off. This can lower your credit score since it requires hard earnings – without support from your ex-partner, earnings may be a challenge.

On the other hand, if you do not refinance, you and your ex-partner will have to clear the mortgage repayments. If you are the person who moves out, you may have a hard time qualifying for a second mortgage to buy a new home.

5. Your credit limit is decreased after the divorce

Once your accounts are separated with your ex, your creditor may decide to lower your limit if he discovers you’re now making much less money. That change can affect your credit score and can cause you to reach your maximum limit quicker than usual.

6. Sell whatever you owe

So, will divorce ruin your credit? Yes, if you have joint accounts, dependent on your spouse or your spouse name still exists in your credit accounts after divorce. If the above factors do not affect you then divorce cannot ruin your credit.

Apart from the strategies discussed above, below are other ways to protect your credit during divorce

1. Check your Credit account to see the shared accounts

You should carefully read each line of your credit report for any inconsistency, and to find out what accounts you’re partially or fully responsible for. You may be surprised to find that your ex- partner opened an account with your name which is not uncommon.

2. Change your security information

It is good to change the PIN on your debit and credit cards for security purposes. In addition to that it is also advisable to change password on the apps for your bank account not forgetting sites. You should also change the security questions so that your ex-partner cannot be able to answer. It is also important to change or update your address in case you have moved out so that credit reports and bank statements are directly delivered to you. Information is power and at this time it is really nice to have secrecy especially when it comes to security codes and passwords.

3. You should add provisions to your settlement

After divorcing you should ensure that the lawyer includes conditions that cover you from potential credit damage in the settlement agreement. For instance, if you moved out and your spouse was left with the family home, you can add a provision declaring that the house must be refinanced within three years contrary to which it must be sold.

If your ex does not comply you may take him or her back to court. Another advantage is that your ex-partner has ample time to remove your name from the loan.

4. Adjust your lifestyle to match your income

After divorce, the lifestyle of divorcees change. Majority of them have financial constraints since they usually lose the other person’s income. The financial struggle after divorce is real. One therefore has to minimize on expenditure, for example, live in a cheaper house or sell and buy a less expensive car.

You should make a budget to be able to see what you can and cannot afford. Proper planning is required. You should prioritize the most important expenses and take care of the payments that have direct effect on your credit scores. The payments may include loans and mortgages.

5. Liquidate assets

You may opt to sell whatever you owe money on, with your lawyer’s input and approval, meaning you should have a court order. Before parting ways, you then split the profits so that each of you goes with their share. Selling the property may not be a good idea especially when divorcing since it may affect children but it makes a clean getaway since you are sure there is nothing belonging to your ex-partner that you have.

You may even have to sell for less than you owe if your assets have lost value. You may get money to clear the loans after resale. You will only get a loss once and avoid future financial burdens and stress not forgetting that you will move on peacefully.

Here are things that you should not do during divorce

1. Do not incur additional debt

There are common financial mistakes that some people make. They incur an additional debt. A certain lawyer did his research and concluded that people take an extra debt assuming that the debt will be equally divided in the divorce, but, unfortunately, this is not the case. The decision of taking an additional debt will leave you in a big financial trouble. The court often issues a financial restraining order which prevents parties from incurring additional debt and a violation of that order may result in certain debt being driven to one spouse leaving the other spouse. It is better to avoid a mistake in which you know the consequences than do it and regret later.

2. Talk carelessly

You should be extremely careful of on whatever you write via text or email especially concerning your spouse. Additionally, you should choose the verbal statements you make in front of witnesses regarding your partner or children.

As it is said, words do not die, and whatever you say or write may be used against you. In short, ensure you maintain amicable relations with your spouse and you should let the lawyer handle communications concerning your case particularly the ones which are pessimistic.

3. Do not make unrealistic demands

People who are going through divorce should not make unrealistic demands. There is no problem if you ask for a lot as long as it is reasonable. Some people or spouses may be nagging and even irritate the judge and his or her partner.

This may lead to prolonging of the process, which in turn increases the legal fees. In addition to that, it may lower your trustworthiness before the court. Despite the anger and pain, the one to determine credibility is you. You should therefore be very choosy in terms of the words you use.

Divorce Attorney Free Consultation

When you are ready to move forward with your divorce, please call Ascent Law for your free consultation at (801) 676-5506. We want to help you.

Ascent Law LLC 8833 S. Redwood Road, Suite C West Jordan, Utah 84088 United States Telephone: (801) 676-5506

Ascent Law LLC

4.9 stars – based on 67 reviews

Recent Posts

Corporate Lawyer Ogden Utah

How To Screw Up Your Bankruptcy Discharge

Financial Planning For Beginners

Cahpter 7 Bankruptcy In Utah

Bankruptcy Lawyer Spanish Fork Utah

How Estate Planning Works

Source: https://www.ascentlawfirm.com/will-divorce-ruin-my-credit/

[aretia]

Will Divorce Ruin My Credit?

Divorce can affect many aspects of your life, but one thing you may not have considered is how it affects your credit. To begin with, what is credit? This is the ability of a customer to obtain goods or services before payment based on the trust that payment will be made in future. There are factors to consider when talking about credit and divorce. Divorce may or may not affect credit depending on a number of factors.

1. If you had any joint credit accounts with your ex-spouse

If you have any joint credit accounts or mortgages with your ex-spouse the outstanding credit will have to be settled. After being through with the court proceedings for the divorce, the judge may have ruled out that your ex-husband or wife has to pay a certain amount after the divorce.

It is important that you ensure that you are following up to ensure this is happening, especially if you find that your spouse is not as concerned as he or she should be, since this may affect you in future. The problem is that you will not have motivation to pay bills with assets that belong to you. The most unfortunate thing is that if these bills that are in your name do not get paid, then your credit will suffer.

So, if you know your name is on the account you should work hard to ensure they are paid despite the fact that probably your ex-spouse was the one who was supposed to make payment. It may occur that you and your ex-partner are in talking terms and may agree that you will both honor your financial deal till you are done, but if that’s not the case, you can pay the bills that your ex-partner is not paying regardless of who is responsible, just to avoid it ruining your credit.

After doing this, there are measures you can take to recover your money such as reporting non-payment to the court since your ex-spouse went against the divorce agreement.

2. If you are unable to pay your bills

Divorce can sometimes be chaotic or messy. A messy divorce may cause you to spend a lot of money on your lawyer making you unable to pay your debts. In other cases one partner might have been the breadwinner, which in most cases is the woman.

This may bring a lot of trouble since the dependent spouse will have trouble covering bills on his or her own. Being insolvent and the scenario of being left with no one to depend on may ruin credit since they may lead to delayed payments or over reliance of credit cards.

Payments should always be on time so as to avoid hurting or ruining your credit due to late payment If your current financial situation makes it impossible for you to pay your bills on time, your credit score may decrease.

If you are in such a situation and wonder what you can do, there are ways in which you can be able to get money to pay your bills. For one, you may find other means of getting employment, work over time, freelancing or hustling which will help increase your income or decreasing your expenses. If you are used to living a lavish lifestyle, then you will have to minimize expenses on luxuries such as spending your weekend in a hotel or travelling to other countries, so as to clear bills. Other options may be moving in with your family or friends, selling your apartment or car in order to get stability.

3. If your ex-partner is still able to access your accounts.

There are cases in which couples will never be friends any more. They may split up causing a lot of drama however there are others who split up peacefully. Disappointment may cause one to do things that he or she has never done especially to the person who he or she once loved.

If your ex-partner is bitter and annoyed due to the divorce and has access to your accounts he or she may go and take a debt in your name. This is a common phenomenon especially with the partner who is legally allowed to access the account since he or she is not responsible for payment. This can be frustrating since your partner may exploit and frustrate you and get away with it just because he or she is legally recognized. The bad thing is that this may happen if that is the only money you have left. You will have to repay the debt that was not taken by you.

Failure to pay the debt may ruin your credit score. The best thing to do after a divorce is to remove your ex-spouse from your credit accounts to make it is an individual account as much as you can as early as you can. It is said that prevention is better than cure.

People also say that divorce may cause distress and affect your mental health. You may tend to think that your ex-partner is good and reasonable and will take the divorce positively so there is no need to eliminate him from your credit accounts only to realize that he has a lot of anger in him so it is good to take precautions.

4. If you have to refinance your home

It may occur that you may decide not to sell the family home. In order to move the house or property into your name, you may have to refinance the mortgage where the first loan is written off. This can lower your credit score since it requires hard earnings – without support from your ex-partner, earnings may be a challenge.

On the other hand, if you do not refinance, you and your ex-partner will have to clear the mortgage repayments. If you are the person who moves out, you may have a hard time qualifying for a second mortgage to buy a new home.

5. Your credit limit is decreased after the divorce

Once your accounts are separated with your ex, your creditor may decide to lower your limit if he discovers you’re now making much less money. That change can affect your credit score and can cause you to reach your maximum limit quicker than usual.

6. Sell whatever you owe

So, will divorce ruin your credit? Yes, if you have joint accounts, dependent on your spouse or your spouse name still exists in your credit accounts after divorce. If the above factors do not affect you then divorce cannot ruin your credit.

Apart from the strategies discussed above, below are other ways to protect your credit during divorce

1. Check your Credit account to see the shared accounts

You should carefully read each line of your credit report for any inconsistency, and to find out what accounts you’re partially or fully responsible for. You may be surprised to find that your ex- partner opened an account with your name which is not uncommon.

2. Change your security information

It is good to change the PIN on your debit and credit cards for security purposes. In addition to that it is also advisable to change password on the apps for your bank account not forgetting sites. You should also change the security questions so that your ex-partner cannot be able to answer. It is also important to change or update your address in case you have moved out so that credit reports and bank statements are directly delivered to you. Information is power and at this time it is really nice to have secrecy especially when it comes to security codes and passwords.

3. You should add provisions to your settlement

After divorcing you should ensure that the lawyer includes conditions that cover you from potential credit damage in the settlement agreement. For instance, if you moved out and your spouse was left with the family home, you can add a provision declaring that the house must be refinanced within three years contrary to which it must be sold.

If your ex does not comply you may take him or her back to court. Another advantage is that your ex-partner has ample time to remove your name from the loan.

4. Adjust your lifestyle to match your income

After divorce, the lifestyle of divorcees change. Majority of them have financial constraints since they usually lose the other person’s income. The financial struggle after divorce is real. One therefore has to minimize on expenditure, for example, live in a cheaper house or sell and buy a less expensive car.

You should make a budget to be able to see what you can and cannot afford. Proper planning is required. You should prioritize the most important expenses and take care of the payments that have direct effect on your credit scores. The payments may include loans and mortgages.

5. Liquidate assets

You may opt to sell whatever you owe money on, with your lawyer’s input and approval, meaning you should have a court order. Before parting ways, you then split the profits so that each of you goes with their share. Selling the property may not be a good idea especially when divorcing since it may affect children but it makes a clean getaway since you are sure there is nothing belonging to your ex-partner that you have.

You may even have to sell for less than you owe if your assets have lost value. You may get money to clear the loans after resale. You will only get a loss once and avoid future financial burdens and stress not forgetting that you will move on peacefully.

Here are things that you should not do during divorce

1. Do not incur additional debt

There are common financial mistakes that some people make. They incur an additional debt. A certain lawyer did his research and concluded that people take an extra debt assuming that the debt will be equally divided in the divorce, but, unfortunately, this is not the case. The decision of taking an additional debt will leave you in a big financial trouble. The court often issues a financial restraining order which prevents parties from incurring additional debt and a violation of that order may result in certain debt being driven to one spouse leaving the other spouse. It is better to avoid a mistake in which you know the consequences than do it and regret later.

2. Talk carelessly

You should be extremely careful of on whatever you write via text or email especially concerning your spouse. Additionally, you should choose the verbal statements you make in front of witnesses regarding your partner or children.

As it is said, words do not die, and whatever you say or write may be used against you. In short, ensure you maintain amicable relations with your spouse and you should let the lawyer handle communications concerning your case particularly the ones which are pessimistic.

3. Do not make unrealistic demands

People who are going through divorce should not make unrealistic demands. There is no problem if you ask for a lot as long as it is reasonable. Some people or spouses may be nagging and even irritate the judge and his or her partner.

This may lead to prolonging of the process, which in turn increases the legal fees. In addition to that, it may lower your trustworthiness before the court. Despite the anger and pain, the one to determine credibility is you. You should therefore be very choosy in terms of the words you use.

Divorce Attorney Free Consultation

When you are ready to move forward with your divorce, please call Ascent Law for your free consultation at (801) 676-5506. We want to help you.

Ascent Law LLC 8833 S. Redwood Road, Suite C West Jordan, Utah 84088 United States Telephone: (801) 676-5506

Ascent Law LLC

4.9 stars – based on 67 reviews

Recent Posts

Corporate Lawyer Ogden Utah

How To Screw Up Your Bankruptcy Discharge

Financial Planning For Beginners

Cahpter 7 Bankruptcy In Utah

Bankruptcy Lawyer Spanish Fork Utah

How Estate Planning Works

Source: https://www.ascentlawfirm.com/will-divorce-ruin-my-credit/

[mayarosa47]

Will Divorce Ruin My Credit?

Divorce can affect many aspects of your life, but one thing you may not have considered is how it affects your credit. To begin with, what is credit? This is the ability of a customer to obtain goods or services before payment based on the trust that payment will be made in future. There are factors to consider when talking about credit and divorce. Divorce may or may not affect credit depending on a number of factors.

1. If you had any joint credit accounts with your ex-spouse

If you have any joint credit accounts or mortgages with your ex-spouse the outstanding credit will have to be settled. After being through with the court proceedings for the divorce, the judge may have ruled out that your ex-husband or wife has to pay a certain amount after the divorce.

It is important that you ensure that you are following up to ensure this is happening, especially if you find that your spouse is not as concerned as he or she should be, since this may affect you in future. The problem is that you will not have motivation to pay bills with assets that belong to you. The most unfortunate thing is that if these bills that are in your name do not get paid, then your credit will suffer.

So, if you know your name is on the account you should work hard to ensure they are paid despite the fact that probably your ex-spouse was the one who was supposed to make payment. It may occur that you and your ex-partner are in talking terms and may agree that you will both honor your financial deal till you are done, but if that’s not the case, you can pay the bills that your ex-partner is not paying regardless of who is responsible, just to avoid it ruining your credit.

After doing this, there are measures you can take to recover your money such as reporting non-payment to the court since your ex-spouse went against the divorce agreement.

2. If you are unable to pay your bills

Divorce can sometimes be chaotic or messy. A messy divorce may cause you to spend a lot of money on your lawyer making you unable to pay your debts. In other cases one partner might have been the breadwinner, which in most cases is the woman.

This may bring a lot of trouble since the dependent spouse will have trouble covering bills on his or her own. Being insolvent and the scenario of being left with no one to depend on may ruin credit since they may lead to delayed payments or over reliance of credit cards.

Payments should always be on time so as to avoid hurting or ruining your credit due to late payment If your current financial situation makes it impossible for you to pay your bills on time, your credit score may decrease.

If you are in such a situation and wonder what you can do, there are ways in which you can be able to get money to pay your bills. For one, you may find other means of getting employment, work over time, freelancing or hustling which will help increase your income or decreasing your expenses. If you are used to living a lavish lifestyle, then you will have to minimize expenses on luxuries such as spending your weekend in a hotel or travelling to other countries, so as to clear bills. Other options may be moving in with your family or friends, selling your apartment or car in order to get stability.

3. If your ex-partner is still able to access your accounts.

There are cases in which couples will never be friends any more. They may split up causing a lot of drama however there are others who split up peacefully. Disappointment may cause one to do things that he or she has never done especially to the person who he or she once loved.

If your ex-partner is bitter and annoyed due to the divorce and has access to your accounts he or she may go and take a debt in your name. This is a common phenomenon especially with the partner who is legally allowed to access the account since he or she is not responsible for payment. This can be frustrating since your partner may exploit and frustrate you and get away with it just because he or she is legally recognized. The bad thing is that this may happen if that is the only money you have left. You will have to repay the debt that was not taken by you.

Failure to pay the debt may ruin your credit score. The best thing to do after a divorce is to remove your ex-spouse from your credit accounts to make it is an individual account as much as you can as early as you can. It is said that prevention is better than cure.

People also say that divorce may cause distress and affect your mental health. You may tend to think that your ex-partner is good and reasonable and will take the divorce positively so there is no need to eliminate him from your credit accounts only to realize that he has a lot of anger in him so it is good to take precautions.

4. If you have to refinance your home

It may occur that you may decide not to sell the family home. In order to move the house or property into your name, you may have to refinance the mortgage where the first loan is written off. This can lower your credit score since it requires hard earnings – without support from your ex-partner, earnings may be a challenge.

On the other hand, if you do not refinance, you and your ex-partner will have to clear the mortgage repayments. If you are the person who moves out, you may have a hard time qualifying for a second mortgage to buy a new home.

5. Your credit limit is decreased after the divorce

Once your accounts are separated with your ex, your creditor may decide to lower your limit if he discovers you’re now making much less money. That change can affect your credit score and can cause you to reach your maximum limit quicker than usual.

6. Sell whatever you owe

So, will divorce ruin your credit? Yes, if you have joint accounts, dependent on your spouse or your spouse name still exists in your credit accounts after divorce. If the above factors do not affect you then divorce cannot ruin your credit.

Apart from the strategies discussed above, below are other ways to protect your credit during divorce

1. Check your Credit account to see the shared accounts

You should carefully read each line of your credit report for any inconsistency, and to find out what accounts you’re partially or fully responsible for. You may be surprised to find that your ex- partner opened an account with your name which is not uncommon.

2. Change your security information

It is good to change the PIN on your debit and credit cards for security purposes. In addition to that it is also advisable to change password on the apps for your bank account not forgetting sites. You should also change the security questions so that your ex-partner cannot be able to answer. It is also important to change or update your address in case you have moved out so that credit reports and bank statements are directly delivered to you. Information is power and at this time it is really nice to have secrecy especially when it comes to security codes and passwords.

3. You should add provisions to your settlement

After divorcing you should ensure that the lawyer includes conditions that cover you from potential credit damage in the settlement agreement. For instance, if you moved out and your spouse was left with the family home, you can add a provision declaring that the house must be refinanced within three years contrary to which it must be sold.

If your ex does not comply you may take him or her back to court. Another advantage is that your ex-partner has ample time to remove your name from the loan.

4. Adjust your lifestyle to match your income

After divorce, the lifestyle of divorcees change. Majority of them have financial constraints since they usually lose the other person’s income. The financial struggle after divorce is real. One therefore has to minimize on expenditure, for example, live in a cheaper house or sell and buy a less expensive car.

You should make a budget to be able to see what you can and cannot afford. Proper planning is required. You should prioritize the most important expenses and take care of the payments that have direct effect on your credit scores. The payments may include loans and mortgages.

5. Liquidate assets

You may opt to sell whatever you owe money on, with your lawyer’s input and approval, meaning you should have a court order. Before parting ways, you then split the profits so that each of you goes with their share. Selling the property may not be a good idea especially when divorcing since it may affect children but it makes a clean getaway since you are sure there is nothing belonging to your ex-partner that you have.

You may even have to sell for less than you owe if your assets have lost value. You may get money to clear the loans after resale. You will only get a loss once and avoid future financial burdens and stress not forgetting that you will move on peacefully.

Here are things that you should not do during divorce

1. Do not incur additional debt

There are common financial mistakes that some people make. They incur an additional debt. A certain lawyer did his research and concluded that people take an extra debt assuming that the debt will be equally divided in the divorce, but, unfortunately, this is not the case. The decision of taking an additional debt will leave you in a big financial trouble. The court often issues a financial restraining order which prevents parties from incurring additional debt and a violation of that order may result in certain debt being driven to one spouse leaving the other spouse. It is better to avoid a mistake in which you know the consequences than do it and regret later.

2. Talk carelessly

You should be extremely careful of on whatever you write via text or email especially concerning your spouse. Additionally, you should choose the verbal statements you make in front of witnesses regarding your partner or children.

As it is said, words do not die, and whatever you say or write may be used against you. In short, ensure you maintain amicable relations with your spouse and you should let the lawyer handle communications concerning your case particularly the ones which are pessimistic.

3. Do not make unrealistic demands

People who are going through divorce should not make unrealistic demands. There is no problem if you ask for a lot as long as it is reasonable. Some people or spouses may be nagging and even irritate the judge and his or her partner.

This may lead to prolonging of the process, which in turn increases the legal fees. In addition to that, it may lower your trustworthiness before the court. Despite the anger and pain, the one to determine credibility is you. You should therefore be very choosy in terms of the words you use.

Divorce Attorney Free Consultation

When you are ready to move forward with your divorce, please call Ascent Law for your free consultation at (801) 676-5506. We want to help you.

Ascent Law LLC 8833 S. Redwood Road, Suite C West Jordan, Utah 84088 United States Telephone: (801) 676-5506

Ascent Law LLC

4.9 stars – based on 67 reviews

Recent Posts

Corporate Lawyer Ogden Utah

How To Screw Up Your Bankruptcy Discharge

Financial Planning For Beginners

Cahpter 7 Bankruptcy In Utah

Bankruptcy Lawyer Spanish Fork Utah

How Estate Planning Works

from https://www.ascentlawfirm.com/will-divorce-ruin-my-credit/

from Criminal Defense Lawyer West Jordan Utah - Blog http://criminaldefenselawyerwestjordanutah.weebly.com/blog/will-divorce-ruin-my-credit

[asafeatherwould]

Will Divorce Ruin My Credit?

Divorce can affect many aspects of your life, but one thing you may not have considered is how it affects your credit. To begin with, what is credit? This is the ability of a customer to obtain goods or services before payment based on the trust that payment will be made in future. There are factors to consider when talking about credit and divorce. Divorce may or may not affect credit depending on a number of factors.

1. If you had any joint credit accounts with your ex-spouse

If you have any joint credit accounts or mortgages with your ex-spouse the outstanding credit will have to be settled. After being through with the court proceedings for the divorce, the judge may have ruled out that your ex-husband or wife has to pay a certain amount after the divorce.

It is important that you ensure that you are following up to ensure this is happening, especially if you find that your spouse is not as concerned as he or she should be, since this may affect you in future. The problem is that you will not have motivation to pay bills with assets that belong to you. The most unfortunate thing is that if these bills that are in your name do not get paid, then your credit will suffer.

So, if you know your name is on the account you should work hard to ensure they are paid despite the fact that probably your ex-spouse was the one who was supposed to make payment. It may occur that you and your ex-partner are in talking terms and may agree that you will both honor your financial deal till you are done, but if that’s not the case, you can pay the bills that your ex-partner is not paying regardless of who is responsible, just to avoid it ruining your credit.

After doing this, there are measures you can take to recover your money such as reporting non-payment to the court since your ex-spouse went against the divorce agreement.

2. If you are unable to pay your bills

Divorce can sometimes be chaotic or messy. A messy divorce may cause you to spend a lot of money on your lawyer making you unable to pay your debts. In other cases one partner might have been the breadwinner, which in most cases is the woman.

This may bring a lot of trouble since the dependent spouse will have trouble covering bills on his or her own. Being insolvent and the scenario of being left with no one to depend on may ruin credit since they may lead to delayed payments or over reliance of credit cards.

Payments should always be on time so as to avoid hurting or ruining your credit due to late payment If your current financial situation makes it impossible for you to pay your bills on time, your credit score may decrease.

If you are in such a situation and wonder what you can do, there are ways in which you can be able to get money to pay your bills. For one, you may find other means of getting employment, work over time, freelancing or hustling which will help increase your income or decreasing your expenses. If you are used to living a lavish lifestyle, then you will have to minimize expenses on luxuries such as spending your weekend in a hotel or travelling to other countries, so as to clear bills. Other options may be moving in with your family or friends, selling your apartment or car in order to get stability.

3. If your ex-partner is still able to access your accounts.

There are cases in which couples will never be friends any more. They may split up causing a lot of drama however there are others who split up peacefully. Disappointment may cause one to do things that he or she has never done especially to the person who he or she once loved.

If your ex-partner is bitter and annoyed due to the divorce and has access to your accounts he or she may go and take a debt in your name. This is a common phenomenon especially with the partner who is legally allowed to access the account since he or she is not responsible for payment. This can be frustrating since your partner may exploit and frustrate you and get away with it just because he or she is legally recognized. The bad thing is that this may happen if that is the only money you have left. You will have to repay the debt that was not taken by you.

Failure to pay the debt may ruin your credit score. The best thing to do after a divorce is to remove your ex-spouse from your credit accounts to make it is an individual account as much as you can as early as you can. It is said that prevention is better than cure.

People also say that divorce may cause distress and affect your mental health. You may tend to think that your ex-partner is good and reasonable and will take the divorce positively so there is no need to eliminate him from your credit accounts only to realize that he has a lot of anger in him so it is good to take precautions.

4. If you have to refinance your home

It may occur that you may decide not to sell the family home. In order to move the house or property into your name, you may have to refinance the mortgage where the first loan is written off. This can lower your credit score since it requires hard earnings – without support from your ex-partner, earnings may be a challenge.

On the other hand, if you do not refinance, you and your ex-partner will have to clear the mortgage repayments. If you are the person who moves out, you may have a hard time qualifying for a second mortgage to buy a new home.

5. Your credit limit is decreased after the divorce

Once your accounts are separated with your ex, your creditor may decide to lower your limit if he discovers you’re now making much less money. That change can affect your credit score and can cause you to reach your maximum limit quicker than usual.

6. Sell whatever you owe

So, will divorce ruin your credit? Yes, if you have joint accounts, dependent on your spouse or your spouse name still exists in your credit accounts after divorce. If the above factors do not affect you then divorce cannot ruin your credit.

Apart from the strategies discussed above, below are other ways to protect your credit during divorce

1. Check your Credit account to see the shared accounts

You should carefully read each line of your credit report for any inconsistency, and to find out what accounts you’re partially or fully responsible for. You may be surprised to find that your ex- partner opened an account with your name which is not uncommon.

2. Change your security information

It is good to change the PIN on your debit and credit cards for security purposes. In addition to that it is also advisable to change password on the apps for your bank account not forgetting sites. You should also change the security questions so that your ex-partner cannot be able to answer. It is also important to change or update your address in case you have moved out so that credit reports and bank statements are directly delivered to you. Information is power and at this time it is really nice to have secrecy especially when it comes to security codes and passwords.

3. You should add provisions to your settlement

After divorcing you should ensure that the lawyer includes conditions that cover you from potential credit damage in the settlement agreement. For instance, if you moved out and your spouse was left with the family home, you can add a provision declaring that the house must be refinanced within three years contrary to which it must be sold.

If your ex does not comply you may take him or her back to court. Another advantage is that your ex-partner has ample time to remove your name from the loan.

4. Adjust your lifestyle to match your income

After divorce, the lifestyle of divorcees change. Majority of them have financial constraints since they usually lose the other person’s income. The financial struggle after divorce is real. One therefore has to minimize on expenditure, for example, live in a cheaper house or sell and buy a less expensive car.

You should make a budget to be able to see what you can and cannot afford. Proper planning is required. You should prioritize the most important expenses and take care of the payments that have direct effect on your credit scores. The payments may include loans and mortgages.

5. Liquidate assets

You may opt to sell whatever you owe money on, with your lawyer’s input and approval, meaning you should have a court order. Before parting ways, you then split the profits so that each of you goes with their share. Selling the property may not be a good idea especially when divorcing since it may affect children but it makes a clean getaway since you are sure there is nothing belonging to your ex-partner that you have.

You may even have to sell for less than you owe if your assets have lost value. You may get money to clear the loans after resale. You will only get a loss once and avoid future financial burdens and stress not forgetting that you will move on peacefully.

Here are things that you should not do during divorce

1. Do not incur additional debt

There are common financial mistakes that some people make. They incur an additional debt. A certain lawyer did his research and concluded that people take an extra debt assuming that the debt will be equally divided in the divorce, but, unfortunately, this is not the case. The decision of taking an additional debt will leave you in a big financial trouble. The court often issues a financial restraining order which prevents parties from incurring additional debt and a violation of that order may result in certain debt being driven to one spouse leaving the other spouse. It is better to avoid a mistake in which you know the consequences than do it and regret later.

2. Talk carelessly

You should be extremely careful of on whatever you write via text or email especially concerning your spouse. Additionally, you should choose the verbal statements you make in front of witnesses regarding your partner or children.

As it is said, words do not die, and whatever you say or write may be used against you. In short, ensure you maintain amicable relations with your spouse and you should let the lawyer handle communications concerning your case particularly the ones which are pessimistic.

3. Do not make unrealistic demands

People who are going through divorce should not make unrealistic demands. There is no problem if you ask for a lot as long as it is reasonable. Some people or spouses may be nagging and even irritate the judge and his or her partner.

This may lead to prolonging of the process, which in turn increases the legal fees. In addition to that, it may lower your trustworthiness before the court. Despite the anger and pain, the one to determine credibility is you. You should therefore be very choosy in terms of the words you use.

Divorce Attorney Free Consultation

When you are ready to move forward with your divorce, please call Ascent Law for your free consultation at (801) 676-5506. We want to help you.

Ascent Law LLC 8833 S. Redwood Road, Suite C West Jordan, Utah 84088 United States Telephone: (801) 676-5506

Ascent Law LLC

4.9 stars – based on 67 reviews

Recent Posts

Corporate Lawyer Ogden Utah

How To Screw Up Your Bankruptcy Discharge

Financial Planning For Beginners

Cahpter 7 Bankruptcy In Utah

Bankruptcy Lawyer Spanish Fork Utah

How Estate Planning Works

Source: https://www.ascentlawfirm.com/will-divorce-ruin-my-credit/

[michaeljames1221]

Will Divorce Ruin My Credit?

Divorce can affect many aspects of your life, but one thing you may not have considered is how it affects your credit. To begin with, what is credit? This is the ability of a customer to obtain goods or services before payment based on the trust that payment will be made in future. There are factors to consider when talking about credit and divorce. Divorce may or may not affect credit depending on a number of factors.

1. If you had any joint credit accounts with your ex-spouse

If you have any joint credit accounts or mortgages with your ex-spouse the outstanding credit will have to be settled. After being through with the court proceedings for the divorce, the judge may have ruled out that your ex-husband or wife has to pay a certain amount after the divorce.

It is important that you ensure that you are following up to ensure this is happening, especially if you find that your spouse is not as concerned as he or she should be, since this may affect you in future. The problem is that you will not have motivation to pay bills with assets that belong to you. The most unfortunate thing is that if these bills that are in your name do not get paid, then your credit will suffer.

So, if you know your name is on the account you should work hard to ensure they are paid despite the fact that probably your ex-spouse was the one who was supposed to make payment. It may occur that you and your ex-partner are in talking terms and may agree that you will both honor your financial deal till you are done, but if that’s not the case, you can pay the bills that your ex-partner is not paying regardless of who is responsible, just to avoid it ruining your credit.

After doing this, there are measures you can take to recover your money such as reporting non-payment to the court since your ex-spouse went against the divorce agreement.

2. If you are unable to pay your bills

Divorce can sometimes be chaotic or messy. A messy divorce may cause you to spend a lot of money on your lawyer making you unable to pay your debts. In other cases one partner might have been the breadwinner, which in most cases is the woman.

This may bring a lot of trouble since the dependent spouse will have trouble covering bills on his or her own. Being insolvent and the scenario of being left with no one to depend on may ruin credit since they may lead to delayed payments or over reliance of credit cards.

Payments should always be on time so as to avoid hurting or ruining your credit due to late payment If your current financial situation makes it impossible for you to pay your bills on time, your credit score may decrease.

If you are in such a situation and wonder what you can do, there are ways in which you can be able to get money to pay your bills. For one, you may find other means of getting employment, work over time, freelancing or hustling which will help increase your income or decreasing your expenses. If you are used to living a lavish lifestyle, then you will have to minimize expenses on luxuries such as spending your weekend in a hotel or travelling to other countries, so as to clear bills. Other options may be moving in with your family or friends, selling your apartment or car in order to get stability.

3. If your ex-partner is still able to access your accounts.

There are cases in which couples will never be friends any more. They may split up causing a lot of drama however there are others who split up peacefully. Disappointment may cause one to do things that he or she has never done especially to the person who he or she once loved.

If your ex-partner is bitter and annoyed due to the divorce and has access to your accounts he or she may go and take a debt in your name. This is a common phenomenon especially with the partner who is legally allowed to access the account since he or she is not responsible for payment. This can be frustrating since your partner may exploit and frustrate you and get away with it just because he or she is legally recognized. The bad thing is that this may happen if that is the only money you have left. You will have to repay the debt that was not taken by you.

Failure to pay the debt may ruin your credit score. The best thing to do after a divorce is to remove your ex-spouse from your credit accounts to make it is an individual account as much as you can as early as you can. It is said that prevention is better than cure.

People also say that divorce may cause distress and affect your mental health. You may tend to think that your ex-partner is good and reasonable and will take the divorce positively so there is no need to eliminate him from your credit accounts only to realize that he has a lot of anger in him so it is good to take precautions.

4. If you have to refinance your home

It may occur that you may decide not to sell the family home. In order to move the house or property into your name, you may have to refinance the mortgage where the first loan is written off. This can lower your credit score since it requires hard earnings – without support from your ex-partner, earnings may be a challenge.

On the other hand, if you do not refinance, you and your ex-partner will have to clear the mortgage repayments. If you are the person who moves out, you may have a hard time qualifying for a second mortgage to buy a new home.

5. Your credit limit is decreased after the divorce

Once your accounts are separated with your ex, your creditor may decide to lower your limit if he discovers you’re now making much less money. That change can affect your credit score and can cause you to reach your maximum limit quicker than usual.

6. Sell whatever you owe

So, will divorce ruin your credit? Yes, if you have joint accounts, dependent on your spouse or your spouse name still exists in your credit accounts after divorce. If the above factors do not affect you then divorce cannot ruin your credit.

Apart from the strategies discussed above, below are other ways to protect your credit during divorce

1. Check your Credit account to see the shared accounts

You should carefully read each line of your credit report for any inconsistency, and to find out what accounts you’re partially or fully responsible for. You may be surprised to find that your ex- partner opened an account with your name which is not uncommon.

2. Change your security information

It is good to change the PIN on your debit and credit cards for security purposes. In addition to that it is also advisable to change password on the apps for your bank account not forgetting sites. You should also change the security questions so that your ex-partner cannot be able to answer. It is also important to change or update your address in case you have moved out so that credit reports and bank statements are directly delivered to you. Information is power and at this time it is really nice to have secrecy especially when it comes to security codes and passwords.

3. You should add provisions to your settlement

After divorcing you should ensure that the lawyer includes conditions that cover you from potential credit damage in the settlement agreement. For instance, if you moved out and your spouse was left with the family home, you can add a provision declaring that the house must be refinanced within three years contrary to which it must be sold.

If your ex does not comply you may take him or her back to court. Another advantage is that your ex-partner has ample time to remove your name from the loan.

4. Adjust your lifestyle to match your income

After divorce, the lifestyle of divorcees change. Majority of them have financial constraints since they usually lose the other person’s income. The financial struggle after divorce is real. One therefore has to minimize on expenditure, for example, live in a cheaper house or sell and buy a less expensive car.

You should make a budget to be able to see what you can and cannot afford. Proper planning is required. You should prioritize the most important expenses and take care of the payments that have direct effect on your credit scores. The payments may include loans and mortgages.

5. Liquidate assets

You may opt to sell whatever you owe money on, with your lawyer’s input and approval, meaning you should have a court order. Before parting ways, you then split the profits so that each of you goes with their share. Selling the property may not be a good idea especially when divorcing since it may affect children but it makes a clean getaway since you are sure there is nothing belonging to your ex-partner that you have.

You may even have to sell for less than you owe if your assets have lost value. You may get money to clear the loans after resale. You will only get a loss once and avoid future financial burdens and stress not forgetting that you will move on peacefully.

Here are things that you should not do during divorce

1. Do not incur additional debt

There are common financial mistakes that some people make. They incur an additional debt. A certain lawyer did his research and concluded that people take an extra debt assuming that the debt will be equally divided in the divorce, but, unfortunately, this is not the case. The decision of taking an additional debt will leave you in a big financial trouble. The court often issues a financial restraining order which prevents parties from incurring additional debt and a violation of that order may result in certain debt being driven to one spouse leaving the other spouse. It is better to avoid a mistake in which you know the consequences than do it and regret later.

2. Talk carelessly

You should be extremely careful of on whatever you write via text or email especially concerning your spouse. Additionally, you should choose the verbal statements you make in front of witnesses regarding your partner or children.

As it is said, words do not die, and whatever you say or write may be used against you. In short, ensure you maintain amicable relations with your spouse and you should let the lawyer handle communications concerning your case particularly the ones which are pessimistic.

3. Do not make unrealistic demands

People who are going through divorce should not make unrealistic demands. There is no problem if you ask for a lot as long as it is reasonable. Some people or spouses may be nagging and even irritate the judge and his or her partner.

This may lead to prolonging of the process, which in turn increases the legal fees. In addition to that, it may lower your trustworthiness before the court. Despite the anger and pain, the one to determine credibility is you. You should therefore be very choosy in terms of the words you use.

Divorce Attorney Free Consultation

When you are ready to move forward with your divorce, please call Ascent Law for your free consultation at (801) 676-5506. We want to help you.

Ascent Law LLC 8833 S. Redwood Road, Suite C West Jordan, Utah 84088 United States Telephone: (801) 676-5506

Ascent Law LLC

4.9 stars – based on 67 reviews

Recent Posts

Corporate Lawyer Ogden Utah

How To Screw Up Your Bankruptcy Discharge

Financial Planning For Beginners

Cahpter 7 Bankruptcy In Utah

Bankruptcy Lawyer Spanish Fork Utah

How Estate Planning Works

from Michael Anderson https://www.ascentlawfirm.com/will-divorce-ruin-my-credit/

from Criminal Defense Lawyer West Jordan Utah https://criminaldefenselawyerwestjordanutah.wordpress.com/2019/08/17/will-divorce-ruin-my-credit/

[coming-from-hell]

Will Divorce Ruin My Credit?

Divorce can affect many aspects of your life, but one thing you may not have considered is how it affects your credit. To begin with, what is credit? This is the ability of a customer to obtain goods or services before payment based on the trust that payment will be made in future. There are factors to consider when talking about credit and divorce. Divorce may or may not affect credit depending on a number of factors.

1. If you had any joint credit accounts with your ex-spouse

If you have any joint credit accounts or mortgages with your ex-spouse the outstanding credit will have to be settled. After being through with the court proceedings for the divorce, the judge may have ruled out that your ex-husband or wife has to pay a certain amount after the divorce.

It is important that you ensure that you are following up to ensure this is happening, especially if you find that your spouse is not as concerned as he or she should be, since this may affect you in future. The problem is that you will not have motivation to pay bills with assets that belong to you. The most unfortunate thing is that if these bills that are in your name do not get paid, then your credit will suffer.

So, if you know your name is on the account you should work hard to ensure they are paid despite the fact that probably your ex-spouse was the one who was supposed to make payment. It may occur that you and your ex-partner are in talking terms and may agree that you will both honor your financial deal till you are done, but if that’s not the case, you can pay the bills that your ex-partner is not paying regardless of who is responsible, just to avoid it ruining your credit.

After doing this, there are measures you can take to recover your money such as reporting non-payment to the court since your ex-spouse went against the divorce agreement.

2. If you are unable to pay your bills

Divorce can sometimes be chaotic or messy. A messy divorce may cause you to spend a lot of money on your lawyer making you unable to pay your debts. In other cases one partner might have been the breadwinner, which in most cases is the woman.

This may bring a lot of trouble since the dependent spouse will have trouble covering bills on his or her own. Being insolvent and the scenario of being left with no one to depend on may ruin credit since they may lead to delayed payments or over reliance of credit cards.

Payments should always be on time so as to avoid hurting or ruining your credit due to late payment If your current financial situation makes it impossible for you to pay your bills on time, your credit score may decrease.

If you are in such a situation and wonder what you can do, there are ways in which you can be able to get money to pay your bills. For one, you may find other means of getting employment, work over time, freelancing or hustling which will help increase your income or decreasing your expenses. If you are used to living a lavish lifestyle, then you will have to minimize expenses on luxuries such as spending your weekend in a hotel or travelling to other countries, so as to clear bills. Other options may be moving in with your family or friends, selling your apartment or car in order to get stability.

3. If your ex-partner is still able to access your accounts.

There are cases in which couples will never be friends any more. They may split up causing a lot of drama however there are others who split up peacefully. Disappointment may cause one to do things that he or she has never done especially to the person who he or she once loved.

If your ex-partner is bitter and annoyed due to the divorce and has access to your accounts he or she may go and take a debt in your name. This is a common phenomenon especially with the partner who is legally allowed to access the account since he or she is not responsible for payment. This can be frustrating since your partner may exploit and frustrate you and get away with it just because he or she is legally recognized. The bad thing is that this may happen if that is the only money you have left. You will have to repay the debt that was not taken by you.

Failure to pay the debt may ruin your credit score. The best thing to do after a divorce is to remove your ex-spouse from your credit accounts to make it is an individual account as much as you can as early as you can. It is said that prevention is better than cure.

People also say that divorce may cause distress and affect your mental health. You may tend to think that your ex-partner is good and reasonable and will take the divorce positively so there is no need to eliminate him from your credit accounts only to realize that he has a lot of anger in him so it is good to take precautions.

4. If you have to refinance your home

It may occur that you may decide not to sell the family home. In order to move the house or property into your name, you may have to refinance the mortgage where the first loan is written off. This can lower your credit score since it requires hard earnings – without support from your ex-partner, earnings may be a challenge.

On the other hand, if you do not refinance, you and your ex-partner will have to clear the mortgage repayments. If you are the person who moves out, you may have a hard time qualifying for a second mortgage to buy a new home.

5. Your credit limit is decreased after the divorce

Once your accounts are separated with your ex, your creditor may decide to lower your limit if he discovers you’re now making much less money. That change can affect your credit score and can cause you to reach your maximum limit quicker than usual.

6. Sell whatever you owe

So, will divorce ruin your credit? Yes, if you have joint accounts, dependent on your spouse or your spouse name still exists in your credit accounts after divorce. If the above factors do not affect you then divorce cannot ruin your credit.

Apart from the strategies discussed above, below are other ways to protect your credit during divorce

1. Check your Credit account to see the shared accounts

You should carefully read each line of your credit report for any inconsistency, and to find out what accounts you’re partially or fully responsible for. You may be surprised to find that your ex- partner opened an account with your name which is not uncommon.

2. Change your security information

It is good to change the PIN on your debit and credit cards for security purposes. In addition to that it is also advisable to change password on the apps for your bank account not forgetting sites. You should also change the security questions so that your ex-partner cannot be able to answer. It is also important to change or update your address in case you have moved out so that credit reports and bank statements are directly delivered to you. Information is power and at this time it is really nice to have secrecy especially when it comes to security codes and passwords.

3. You should add provisions to your settlement

After divorcing you should ensure that the lawyer includes conditions that cover you from potential credit damage in the settlement agreement. For instance, if you moved out and your spouse was left with the family home, you can add a provision declaring that the house must be refinanced within three years contrary to which it must be sold.

If your ex does not comply you may take him or her back to court. Another advantage is that your ex-partner has ample time to remove your name from the loan.

4. Adjust your lifestyle to match your income

After divorce, the lifestyle of divorcees change. Majority of them have financial constraints since they usually lose the other person’s income. The financial struggle after divorce is real. One therefore has to minimize on expenditure, for example, live in a cheaper house or sell and buy a less expensive car.

You should make a budget to be able to see what you can and cannot afford. Proper planning is required. You should prioritize the most important expenses and take care of the payments that have direct effect on your credit scores. The payments may include loans and mortgages.

5. Liquidate assets

You may opt to sell whatever you owe money on, with your lawyer’s input and approval, meaning you should have a court order. Before parting ways, you then split the profits so that each of you goes with their share. Selling the property may not be a good idea especially when divorcing since it may affect children but it makes a clean getaway since you are sure there is nothing belonging to your ex-partner that you have.

You may even have to sell for less than you owe if your assets have lost value. You may get money to clear the loans after resale. You will only get a loss once and avoid future financial burdens and stress not forgetting that you will move on peacefully.

Here are things that you should not do during divorce

1. Do not incur additional debt

There are common financial mistakes that some people make. They incur an additional debt. A certain lawyer did his research and concluded that people take an extra debt assuming that the debt will be equally divided in the divorce, but, unfortunately, this is not the case. The decision of taking an additional debt will leave you in a big financial trouble. The court often issues a financial restraining order which prevents parties from incurring additional debt and a violation of that order may result in certain debt being driven to one spouse leaving the other spouse. It is better to avoid a mistake in which you know the consequences than do it and regret later.

2. Talk carelessly

You should be extremely careful of on whatever you write via text or email especially concerning your spouse. Additionally, you should choose the verbal statements you make in front of witnesses regarding your partner or children.

As it is said, words do not die, and whatever you say or write may be used against you. In short, ensure you maintain amicable relations with your spouse and you should let the lawyer handle communications concerning your case particularly the ones which are pessimistic.

3. Do not make unrealistic demands

People who are going through divorce should not make unrealistic demands. There is no problem if you ask for a lot as long as it is reasonable. Some people or spouses may be nagging and even irritate the judge and his or her partner.

This may lead to prolonging of the process, which in turn increases the legal fees. In addition to that, it may lower your trustworthiness before the court. Despite the anger and pain, the one to determine credibility is you. You should therefore be very choosy in terms of the words you use.

Divorce Attorney Free Consultation

When you are ready to move forward with your divorce, please call Ascent Law for your free consultation at (801) 676-5506. We want to help you.

Ascent Law LLC 8833 S. Redwood Road, Suite C West Jordan, Utah 84088 United States Telephone: (801) 676-5506

Ascent Law LLC

4.9 stars – based on 67 reviews

Recent Posts

Corporate Lawyer Ogden Utah

How To Screw Up Your Bankruptcy Discharge

Financial Planning For Beginners

Cahpter 7 Bankruptcy In Utah

Bankruptcy Lawyer Spanish Fork Utah

How Estate Planning Works

Source: https://www.ascentlawfirm.com/will-divorce-ruin-my-credit/

[melissawalker01]

Will Divorce Ruin My Credit?

Divorce can affect many aspects of your life, but one thing you may not have considered is how it affects your credit. To begin with, what is credit? This is the ability of a customer to obtain goods or services before payment based on the trust that payment will be made in future. There are factors to consider when talking about credit and divorce. Divorce may or may not affect credit depending on a number of factors.

1. If you had any joint credit accounts with your ex-spouse

If you have any joint credit accounts or mortgages with your ex-spouse the outstanding credit will have to be settled. After being through with the court proceedings for the divorce, the judge may have ruled out that your ex-husband or wife has to pay a certain amount after the divorce.

It is important that you ensure that you are following up to ensure this is happening, especially if you find that your spouse is not as concerned as he or she should be, since this may affect you in future. The problem is that you will not have motivation to pay bills with assets that belong to you. The most unfortunate thing is that if these bills that are in your name do not get paid, then your credit will suffer.

So, if you know your name is on the account you should work hard to ensure they are paid despite the fact that probably your ex-spouse was the one who was supposed to make payment. It may occur that you and your ex-partner are in talking terms and may agree that you will both honor your financial deal till you are done, but if that’s not the case, you can pay the bills that your ex-partner is not paying regardless of who is responsible, just to avoid it ruining your credit.

After doing this, there are measures you can take to recover your money such as reporting non-payment to the court since your ex-spouse went against the divorce agreement.

2. If you are unable to pay your bills

Divorce can sometimes be chaotic or messy. A messy divorce may cause you to spend a lot of money on your lawyer making you unable to pay your debts. In other cases one partner might have been the breadwinner, which in most cases is the woman.

This may bring a lot of trouble since the dependent spouse will have trouble covering bills on his or her own. Being insolvent and the scenario of being left with no one to depend on may ruin credit since they may lead to delayed payments or over reliance of credit cards.

Payments should always be on time so as to avoid hurting or ruining your credit due to late payment If your current financial situation makes it impossible for you to pay your bills on time, your credit score may decrease.

If you are in such a situation and wonder what you can do, there are ways in which you can be able to get money to pay your bills. For one, you may find other means of getting employment, work over time, freelancing or hustling which will help increase your income or decreasing your expenses. If you are used to living a lavish lifestyle, then you will have to minimize expenses on luxuries such as spending your weekend in a hotel or travelling to other countries, so as to clear bills. Other options may be moving in with your family or friends, selling your apartment or car in order to get stability.

3. If your ex-partner is still able to access your accounts.

There are cases in which couples will never be friends any more. They may split up causing a lot of drama however there are others who split up peacefully. Disappointment may cause one to do things that he or she has never done especially to the person who he or she once loved.

If your ex-partner is bitter and annoyed due to the divorce and has access to your accounts he or she may go and take a debt in your name. This is a common phenomenon especially with the partner who is legally allowed to access the account since he or she is not responsible for payment. This can be frustrating since your partner may exploit and frustrate you and get away with it just because he or she is legally recognized. The bad thing is that this may happen if that is the only money you have left. You will have to repay the debt that was not taken by you.

Failure to pay the debt may ruin your credit score. The best thing to do after a divorce is to remove your ex-spouse from your credit accounts to make it is an individual account as much as you can as early as you can. It is said that prevention is better than cure.

People also say that divorce may cause distress and affect your mental health. You may tend to think that your ex-partner is good and reasonable and will take the divorce positively so there is no need to eliminate him from your credit accounts only to realize that he has a lot of anger in him so it is good to take precautions.

4. If you have to refinance your home

It may occur that you may decide not to sell the family home. In order to move the house or property into your name, you may have to refinance the mortgage where the first loan is written off. This can lower your credit score since it requires hard earnings – without support from your ex-partner, earnings may be a challenge.

On the other hand, if you do not refinance, you and your ex-partner will have to clear the mortgage repayments. If you are the person who moves out, you may have a hard time qualifying for a second mortgage to buy a new home.

5. Your credit limit is decreased after the divorce

Once your accounts are separated with your ex, your creditor may decide to lower your limit if he discovers you’re now making much less money. That change can affect your credit score and can cause you to reach your maximum limit quicker than usual.

6. Sell whatever you owe

So, will divorce ruin your credit? Yes, if you have joint accounts, dependent on your spouse or your spouse name still exists in your credit accounts after divorce. If the above factors do not affect you then divorce cannot ruin your credit.

Apart from the strategies discussed above, below are other ways to protect your credit during divorce

1. Check your Credit account to see the shared accounts

You should carefully read each line of your credit report for any inconsistency, and to find out what accounts you’re partially or fully responsible for. You may be surprised to find that your ex- partner opened an account with your name which is not uncommon.

2. Change your security information

It is good to change the PIN on your debit and credit cards for security purposes. In addition to that it is also advisable to change password on the apps for your bank account not forgetting sites. You should also change the security questions so that your ex-partner cannot be able to answer. It is also important to change or update your address in case you have moved out so that credit reports and bank statements are directly delivered to you. Information is power and at this time it is really nice to have secrecy especially when it comes to security codes and passwords.

3. You should add provisions to your settlement

After divorcing you should ensure that the lawyer includes conditions that cover you from potential credit damage in the settlement agreement. For instance, if you moved out and your spouse was left with the family home, you can add a provision declaring that the house must be refinanced within three years contrary to which it must be sold.

If your ex does not comply you may take him or her back to court. Another advantage is that your ex-partner has ample time to remove your name from the loan.

4. Adjust your lifestyle to match your income

After divorce, the lifestyle of divorcees change. Majority of them have financial constraints since they usually lose the other person’s income. The financial struggle after divorce is real. One therefore has to minimize on expenditure, for example, live in a cheaper house or sell and buy a less expensive car.

You should make a budget to be able to see what you can and cannot afford. Proper planning is required. You should prioritize the most important expenses and take care of the payments that have direct effect on your credit scores. The payments may include loans and mortgages.

5. Liquidate assets

You may opt to sell whatever you owe money on, with your lawyer’s input and approval, meaning you should have a court order. Before parting ways, you then split the profits so that each of you goes with their share. Selling the property may not be a good idea especially when divorcing since it may affect children but it makes a clean getaway since you are sure there is nothing belonging to your ex-partner that you have.

You may even have to sell for less than you owe if your assets have lost value. You may get money to clear the loans after resale. You will only get a loss once and avoid future financial burdens and stress not forgetting that you will move on peacefully.

Here are things that you should not do during divorce

1. Do not incur additional debt

There are common financial mistakes that some people make. They incur an additional debt. A certain lawyer did his research and concluded that people take an extra debt assuming that the debt will be equally divided in the divorce, but, unfortunately, this is not the case. The decision of taking an additional debt will leave you in a big financial trouble. The court often issues a financial restraining order which prevents parties from incurring additional debt and a violation of that order may result in certain debt being driven to one spouse leaving the other spouse. It is better to avoid a mistake in which you know the consequences than do it and regret later.

2. Talk carelessly

You should be extremely careful of on whatever you write via text or email especially concerning your spouse. Additionally, you should choose the verbal statements you make in front of witnesses regarding your partner or children.

As it is said, words do not die, and whatever you say or write may be used against you. In short, ensure you maintain amicable relations with your spouse and you should let the lawyer handle communications concerning your case particularly the ones which are pessimistic.

3. Do not make unrealistic demands

People who are going through divorce should not make unrealistic demands. There is no problem if you ask for a lot as long as it is reasonable. Some people or spouses may be nagging and even irritate the judge and his or her partner.

This may lead to prolonging of the process, which in turn increases the legal fees. In addition to that, it may lower your trustworthiness before the court. Despite the anger and pain, the one to determine credibility is you. You should therefore be very choosy in terms of the words you use.

Divorce Attorney Free Consultation

When you are ready to move forward with your divorce, please call Ascent Law for your free consultation at (801) 676-5506. We want to help you.

Ascent Law LLC 8833 S. Redwood Road, Suite C West Jordan, Utah 84088 United States Telephone: (801) 676-5506

Ascent Law LLC

4.9 stars – based on 67 reviews

Recent Posts

Corporate Lawyer Ogden Utah

How To Screw Up Your Bankruptcy Discharge

Financial Planning For Beginners

Cahpter 7 Bankruptcy In Utah

Bankruptcy Lawyer Spanish Fork Utah

How Estate Planning Works

from Michael Anderson https://www.ascentlawfirm.com/will-divorce-ruin-my-credit/ from Divorce Lawyer Nelson Farms Utah https://divorcelawyernelsonfarmsutah.tumblr.com/post/187063868075

[gonnagoandrunwiththehorses]

Will Divorce Ruin My Credit?

Divorce can affect many aspects of your life, but one thing you may not have considered is how it affects your credit. To begin with, what is credit? This is the ability of a customer to obtain goods or services before payment based on the trust that payment will be made in future. There are factors to consider when talking about credit and divorce. Divorce may or may not affect credit depending on a number of factors.

1. If you had any joint credit accounts with your ex-spouse

If you have any joint credit accounts or mortgages with your ex-spouse the outstanding credit will have to be settled. After being through with the court proceedings for the divorce, the judge may have ruled out that your ex-husband or wife has to pay a certain amount after the divorce.

It is important that you ensure that you are following up to ensure this is happening, especially if you find that your spouse is not as concerned as he or she should be, since this may affect you in future. The problem is that you will not have motivation to pay bills with assets that belong to you. The most unfortunate thing is that if these bills that are in your name do not get paid, then your credit will suffer.

So, if you know your name is on the account you should work hard to ensure they are paid despite the fact that probably your ex-spouse was the one who was supposed to make payment. It may occur that you and your ex-partner are in talking terms and may agree that you will both honor your financial deal till you are done, but if that’s not the case, you can pay the bills that your ex-partner is not paying regardless of who is responsible, just to avoid it ruining your credit.

After doing this, there are measures you can take to recover your money such as reporting non-payment to the court since your ex-spouse went against the divorce agreement.

2. If you are unable to pay your bills

Divorce can sometimes be chaotic or messy. A messy divorce may cause you to spend a lot of money on your lawyer making you unable to pay your debts. In other cases one partner might have been the breadwinner, which in most cases is the woman.

This may bring a lot of trouble since the dependent spouse will have trouble covering bills on his or her own. Being insolvent and the scenario of being left with no one to depend on may ruin credit since they may lead to delayed payments or over reliance of credit cards.

Payments should always be on time so as to avoid hurting or ruining your credit due to late payment If your current financial situation makes it impossible for you to pay your bills on time, your credit score may decrease.

If you are in such a situation and wonder what you can do, there are ways in which you can be able to get money to pay your bills. For one, you may find other means of getting employment, work over time, freelancing or hustling which will help increase your income or decreasing your expenses. If you are used to living a lavish lifestyle, then you will have to minimize expenses on luxuries such as spending your weekend in a hotel or travelling to other countries, so as to clear bills. Other options may be moving in with your family or friends, selling your apartment or car in order to get stability.

3. If your ex-partner is still able to access your accounts.

There are cases in which couples will never be friends any more. They may split up causing a lot of drama however there are others who split up peacefully. Disappointment may cause one to do things that he or she has never done especially to the person who he or she once loved.

If your ex-partner is bitter and annoyed due to the divorce and has access to your accounts he or she may go and take a debt in your name. This is a common phenomenon especially with the partner who is legally allowed to access the account since he or she is not responsible for payment. This can be frustrating since your partner may exploit and frustrate you and get away with it just because he or she is legally recognized. The bad thing is that this may happen if that is the only money you have left. You will have to repay the debt that was not taken by you.

Failure to pay the debt may ruin your credit score. The best thing to do after a divorce is to remove your ex-spouse from your credit accounts to make it is an individual account as much as you can as early as you can. It is said that prevention is better than cure.

People also say that divorce may cause distress and affect your mental health. You may tend to think that your ex-partner is good and reasonable and will take the divorce positively so there is no need to eliminate him from your credit accounts only to realize that he has a lot of anger in him so it is good to take precautions.

4. If you have to refinance your home

It may occur that you may decide not to sell the family home. In order to move the house or property into your name, you may have to refinance the mortgage where the first loan is written off. This can lower your credit score since it requires hard earnings – without support from your ex-partner, earnings may be a challenge.

On the other hand, if you do not refinance, you and your ex-partner will have to clear the mortgage repayments. If you are the person who moves out, you may have a hard time qualifying for a second mortgage to buy a new home.

5. Your credit limit is decreased after the divorce

Once your accounts are separated with your ex, your creditor may decide to lower your limit if he discovers you’re now making much less money. That change can affect your credit score and can cause you to reach your maximum limit quicker than usual.

6. Sell whatever you owe

So, will divorce ruin your credit? Yes, if you have joint accounts, dependent on your spouse or your spouse name still exists in your credit accounts after divorce. If the above factors do not affect you then divorce cannot ruin your credit.

Apart from the strategies discussed above, below are other ways to protect your credit during divorce

1. Check your Credit account to see the shared accounts

You should carefully read each line of your credit report for any inconsistency, and to find out what accounts you’re partially or fully responsible for. You may be surprised to find that your ex- partner opened an account with your name which is not uncommon.

2. Change your security information

It is good to change the PIN on your debit and credit cards for security purposes. In addition to that it is also advisable to change password on the apps for your bank account not forgetting sites. You should also change the security questions so that your ex-partner cannot be able to answer. It is also important to change or update your address in case you have moved out so that credit reports and bank statements are directly delivered to you. Information is power and at this time it is really nice to have secrecy especially when it comes to security codes and passwords.

3. You should add provisions to your settlement

After divorcing you should ensure that the lawyer includes conditions that cover you from potential credit damage in the settlement agreement. For instance, if you moved out and your spouse was left with the family home, you can add a provision declaring that the house must be refinanced within three years contrary to which it must be sold.

If your ex does not comply you may take him or her back to court. Another advantage is that your ex-partner has ample time to remove your name from the loan.

4. Adjust your lifestyle to match your income

After divorce, the lifestyle of divorcees change. Majority of them have financial constraints since they usually lose the other person’s income. The financial struggle after divorce is real. One therefore has to minimize on expenditure, for example, live in a cheaper house or sell and buy a less expensive car.

You should make a budget to be able to see what you can and cannot afford. Proper planning is required. You should prioritize the most important expenses and take care of the payments that have direct effect on your credit scores. The payments may include loans and mortgages.

5. Liquidate assets

You may opt to sell whatever you owe money on, with your lawyer’s input and approval, meaning you should have a court order. Before parting ways, you then split the profits so that each of you goes with their share. Selling the property may not be a good idea especially when divorcing since it may affect children but it makes a clean getaway since you are sure there is nothing belonging to your ex-partner that you have.

You may even have to sell for less than you owe if your assets have lost value. You may get money to clear the loans after resale. You will only get a loss once and avoid future financial burdens and stress not forgetting that you will move on peacefully.

Here are things that you should not do during divorce

1. Do not incur additional debt

There are common financial mistakes that some people make. They incur an additional debt. A certain lawyer did his research and concluded that people take an extra debt assuming that the debt will be equally divided in the divorce, but, unfortunately, this is not the case. The decision of taking an additional debt will leave you in a big financial trouble. The court often issues a financial restraining order which prevents parties from incurring additional debt and a violation of that order may result in certain debt being driven to one spouse leaving the other spouse. It is better to avoid a mistake in which you know the consequences than do it and regret later.

2. Talk carelessly

You should be extremely careful of on whatever you write via text or email especially concerning your spouse. Additionally, you should choose the verbal statements you make in front of witnesses regarding your partner or children.

As it is said, words do not die, and whatever you say or write may be used against you. In short, ensure you maintain amicable relations with your spouse and you should let the lawyer handle communications concerning your case particularly the ones which are pessimistic.

3. Do not make unrealistic demands

People who are going through divorce should not make unrealistic demands. There is no problem if you ask for a lot as long as it is reasonable. Some people or spouses may be nagging and even irritate the judge and his or her partner.

This may lead to prolonging of the process, which in turn increases the legal fees. In addition to that, it may lower your trustworthiness before the court. Despite the anger and pain, the one to determine credibility is you. You should therefore be very choosy in terms of the words you use.

Divorce Attorney Free Consultation

When you are ready to move forward with your divorce, please call Ascent Law for your free consultation at (801) 676-5506. We want to help you.

Ascent Law LLC 8833 S. Redwood Road, Suite C West Jordan, Utah 84088 United States Telephone: (801) 676-5506

Ascent Law LLC

4.9 stars – based on 67 reviews

Recent Posts

Corporate Lawyer Ogden Utah

How To Screw Up Your Bankruptcy Discharge

Financial Planning For Beginners

Cahpter 7 Bankruptcy In Utah

Bankruptcy Lawyer Spanish Fork Utah

How Estate Planning Works

Source: https://www.ascentlawfirm.com/will-divorce-ruin-my-credit/