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#but you actually have to understand the original theme in order to do that
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Each of the seven Narnia books has a moral message or theme at its foundation. Every major beat of the story is centered on and refers back to this theme, so if you take away or alter the theme, you alter the entire foundation of the story. Obviously these themes/messages align with Christian principles because this is Lewis we’re talking about. So, my interpretations of the themes are the following:
 Magician’s Nephew is about taking responsibilities for your actions, LWW is about being selfless but also about forgiveness, Horse and His Boy is about the golden rule, Prince Caspian is about belief without proof, Voyage is about conquering temptation/evil within yourself, and Silver Chair is about trusting in God’s plan even when it doesn’t make sense, and Last Battle is about hope and doing what you think is good even when it seems hopeless. 
Which I think is one of the reasons the Voyage movie falls flat when compared to the other two. One explanation is that it changes many things from the book, but Prince Caspian does that too. Both movies make drastic changes from their source material, but Prince Caspian doesn’t feel (at least to me) as drastically changed as Voyage, because Voyage’s changes go down to the very foundation of the book’s theme. Lewis is saying that there is ‘evil’ in everyone that we all have to repeatedly overcome while the movie is saying that evil is outside of us and that we can overcome it once and be done with it, which drastically changes the central theme of the story. Prince Caspian on the other hand adds a lot of the story but all of the changes stay true to the central theme of belief without proof (or they correct some of Lewis’ inconsistencies). You can change the details all you want for the most part, but the core theme of the story has to remain the same otherwise it’s just not the same story so it won’t feel the same.
So there’s this really big essay I want to write detailing all the changes and how they alter the theme or go along with the theme etc.
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kyeterna · 1 year
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"Sashimi", from Glow's poem collection
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"Lyria is fish"
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"With big round eyes that look at me weird"
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"Lyria is odd"
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"With strange smell"
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"Lyria is scary"
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"With black sword and black armour"
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"Lyria is old"
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"and she looks at me like she knows me"
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"But she does not know Glow"
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"So I make sashimi with fresh fish I find in dirt water"
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"I make sashimi to forget Lyria"
First poem | Next poem | All poems
#sketchterna#copper smp#docas#dreams of copper and snow#docas lyria#docas jade#docas frog#docas stella#docas gale#docas glow#scopohobia tw#WE DID IT WE MADE IT TO SASHIMI#so lyria is actually partially blind so her eyes are almost white and has a scar on her right eye#but you see I have this visual theme of divine hatred/anger be represented by these specific eyes#the idea is that Glow somehow understands that Lyria watches her through those eyes and not her actual eyes#Lyria overall is creepy albeit kinda goofy. But they can get very scary when needed#So I think the goofy nature of the poem that has a slightly uncanny feeling to it is fitting for Lyria#also about the weird smell- the original poem probably didnt have THAT as an interpretation but I thought “smell as in feels foreign- alien#and i took it to the next step and made it smells like a god- hence why Jade is also in the frame#also frog ordering Lyria to take care of Glow for “not doing her job” that moment was huge I HAD to include it#considering how Frog is supposed to be one of the moles (i dont think he really feels close to them)#I wanted to include Chris Anaflektoras at least once because chris and lyria are best buddies but I dont think Glow has ever seen them#like in the same room ever#but hey at least stella is there from when she was protecting Lyria (well Lyria really didn't need protection but alas) from copper and glo#old because both of them come from the copper timeline#also LESSGO GALE CAMEO WOOOOOO glow is a descendant of Gale if that was not clear - granddaughter? timeline shenanigans#Gale has canonically fucked this is devastating#enough rambling
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apothesized-moth · 1 month
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" Out of the Depths of Hell and back, The spawn of the Black and White! "
I FINALLY fucking finished this ohhh my god, this has been MONTHS in the making, I cannot BELIEVE I'm finished.
I wanted to hone in on the Theme that I THINK they were trying to set up originally, of highschool stereotypes, in these redesigns because I feel like they didn't... Translate like they wanted it to in the show? So I tweaked it a bit and made it (maybe?) a bit clearer what each stereotype they are?
Explanations and Close-ups / Stand-alones below the cut! (In no particular Order)
I tried to keep some things consistent across all the brothers, to show that they are all connected in some way. So they all get a point of Fur / hair and a few spots of glitter. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. I also tried to make them... Approximately human, but I couldn't help myself with some Features like ears, teeth or Horns. Whoops.
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The Jock / Prep, Wiggly I wanted to uh. Un-Twinkify him. But also make him a sort of Jock-ish type? My brother pointed out that he was probably supposed to be a Preppy originally, but I has already almost finished this design by then so uhhhh he's a jock now. His Crown? Uhhh. Cause he's. The king.. of.... the........ School?....?
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The Theater Kid, Pokey I actually really liked his original design, I thought it worked pretty well with what they were trying to communicate, so I didn't change it very much, aside from moving the Fur around from his Hat to his Collar and sleeves. He was also the First one I drew out because of that.
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The Cheerleader, Nibbly THE NIBBLY!!!!!!!!! I love love love this one, defo my favorite out of them all. He's not... AS Cheerleader-looking as I wanted him to be, but honestly I like him too much to try to change it now. I also really liked his Original design, and didn't really change much, apart from moving some stuff around and adding some stuff. Kissing him on his bigass Pigtailed head.
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The Quiet Kid, Blinky Originally, in the Show Design, I didn't know what Blinky was supposed to be. I tried a LOT of designs for him, and was never really happy with any of them, because I still wanted them to have the Essence of their Show Designs, and I. Didn't like Blinky's design at all in the Show Proper. I'm still not really happy about it, but what can you do. I gave him a Watcher World shirt for fun (And because I LOVE Watcher World!!!) He's also the only one that doesn't have any fur on him because I. Didn't know where to add it, so just pretend his Hair is some fur of some kind.
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The Weird Kid, Tinky I didn't understand what Tinky was supposed to be in the Show Proper either, but he gave the vibes of someone who would be really into Scene and Emo stuff, and who would Naruto run in the hallways, and get Cheap goggles from those Knock-off stands at Cons, so that's exactly what I made him. I'm also really happy with his Design, if I'll be honest.
Thanks for reading all of that Jesus Christ you really didn't have to.
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cowboys-tshot · 7 months
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Circe and Odysseus in Epic: The Musical
EDIT: DO NOT TAKE MY WORD AS THE 100% TRUTH!!
I took some classes and wrote a paper about ancient Greek culture, but I am in NO WAY an expert. Please read through the reblogs to see some good criticisms and discussion about this topic further. My point overall stands that you can't apply modern rules and standards to ancient stories, but my evidence is undoubtedly flawed! This post has been edited to try and better reflect this.
I'm seeing everyone pointing out the possible issues with Epic the Musical's deviation from the original story of Circe and Odysseus, and as someone who's studied Ancient Greece/ancient Greek myths a bit, I wanted to say some stuff about it. This will be a bit of a long one, so apologies for my rambling!
Note that I'm not trying to shit on SA survivor's perspectives and (completely valid) arguments. I'm just trying to offer some context surrounding the original myth and how it fits (or rather, doesn't fit) with a modern audience. If I'm wrong with any of this, feel free to call me out! Criticize the shit out of me! I like learning about Greek culture and myths and would 100% love to hear other perspectives on this.
So, a few points about Ancient Greek myths to kind of explain the context around Circe and Odysseus:
Greek myths often did not have good views/depictions of women. Women were very often depicted as conniving, selfish, sexually insatiable creatures. There are a few deviations from this trope, the most prominent of which being Penelope herself—she's basically the ideal Greek wife, staying loyal to her husband for 20 years and all that.
Adultery often only applied to women. Husbands cheating on their wives wasn't merely tolerated, but kind of expected. Men often cheated on their wives with various kinds of prostitutes, concubines, mistresses, etc. Although, sleeping with unmarried women (that weren't specifically prostitutes) or married women was still looked down upon. Women didn't have this same standard. They could only sleep with their husbands—hell, their husbands (and family) were pretty much the only men they could even interact with once some really sexist Asiatic practices were brought to Athens.
The original myth has Hermes very plainly lay out how Odysseus' confrontation with Circe will go: Odysseus will eat the moly, draw his sword at her, she'll proposition him, and Hermes directly tells Odysseus to accept. Basically a "sleep with her if you want your men to live" situation. (See this post for more specifics on this).
So, let's apply this to Epic: The Musical. Here's some reasons I think may explain the Circe myth being changed:
The Greek "women being evil" stereotype is... problematic. While I 100% understand that it's important to acknowledge male victims of SA, I don't think the original myth was focusing on Odysseus being a victim—I saw it more of an emphasis on Circe being a sexually selfish woman, as women were often believed to be. Changing Circe to be less conniving and evil deviates from the concerning Greek stereotype.
The SA in the myth is not actually very clearly SA. Yes, with a modern perspective, it absolutely is sexual coercion, but for ancient Greeks, not so much. It made sense to them that sex could be transactional, especially when gods were involved. It's already been established that Epic, while still generally accurate to the original myth, does change things relating to morality/themes in order to better align with modern Western ideas (i.e. OG Odysseus not being as remorseful and merciful, as that was expected of a Greek hero, but Epic Odysseus having more empathy because that's more modernly heroic). If something from the original myth doesn't translate well into modern culture, then it's understandable to want to change or omit it.
In the case that the original Circe myth wasn't SA (I'm not saying one is more right than the other, I'm just covering all the bases), then it wouldn't even constitute as cheating. Like I described earlier, men often slept with women that weren't their wives. Plus, being a goddess, she's already kinda exempt from being blamed if Odysseus slept with her—only women are ever really blamed for sleeping with (or being SAed by) gods, and even then, their husbands sometimes don't even give a shit. But modernly, we would not see it that way. To us, it's not societally acceptable for a married man to sleep with another woman (without his wife's consent, at least). While Ancient Greeks viewed Odysseus as a good (or at least okay) husband, a modern audience wouldn't. Making Odysseus loyal to Penelope and not sleeping with other women (assuming this wasn't SA, but again that's one interpretation) makes him the good, loyal, empathic, modernly heroic man that Epic is clearly aiming for. Repeating my last point: If something from the original myth doesn't translate well into modern culture, then it's understandable to want to change or omit it.
Applying modern perspectives on Ancient Greek society and mythology isn't worth it. Like, we all joke about Greek mythology/Ancient Greece being super gay, but it was often just what we consider pedophilia (it's called pederasty if you'd like to know more). Y'know the Hades and Persephone story? Like, the original one with the kidnapping? Yeah, that was kinda normal in some areas. The myth of Demeter and Persephone is tragic, yes, but it was so normal that a lot of wedding ceremonies included references/recreations of it! Girls got married off ASAP after their first menstruation to men of at least 30 years old. We don't tolerate that shit today (for the most part, at least)! But it was normal in Ancient Greece. Applying modern rules and standards to ancient culture just does not work.
Anyways, I'll shut up now! I'm gonna go keep listening to The Circe Saga lmao
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musings-of-a-rose · 3 months
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Marcus
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Pairing: Marcus (Pike, Moreno, Acacius) x f!reader
Word Count: 6900+
Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!
Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story. 
Notes: I saw a post from @pimosworld innocently asking for a Marcus bachlorette style fic and, while this isn't exactly right, this is what my brain came up with. Shoutout to @mermaidxatxheart for listening to me ramble and helping me, as well as @vanemando15 for being a cheerleader!
**If you want to be added to the taglist, join here or let me know!
❤If you enjoy the fic, please consider giving me a warm beverage! (It is not required in any way!)
→Tell Tumblr this should be shared with others by reblogging! That's what the algorithm loves (it's how it works here. I don't make the rules!)
**Reader is not described
Main Masterlist
Marcus Moreno Masterlist
Marcus Pike Masterlist
Marcus Acacius Masterlist
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“Thanks for coming to Level Up Comics!” I smile at the customer as I hand them their bag, a quiet grunt all I get in return before they head out the door, the little bell jingling with their exit. I stretch, walking around from behind the counter and heading back towards the display case where several boxes sit in front, unopened figurines and collectibles pouring from them. My family and friends thought I was crazy for opening a physical media store in this age of digital products. They said no one would come in let alone want to actually buy “this crap.”
But here I am, a few years after opening, and I’m doing pretty good for myself. There are still collectors out there who want their favorites in case something happens to their files. They want the figurines from the original manufacturers, rather than printing them themselves. I can’t blame them. There’s something different, something magical about reading the printed word, having a figure of your favorite character that was made decades ago by something other than a 3D printer in someone’s basement.
The bell jingles and I yell out a greeting, shoving a few more figures in the back of the case before standing and turning, a pair of dark brown eyes meeting mine. I can already feel the smile on my face. 
“Hi, Marcus!” Shit, was that too enthusiastic? If it is, he doesn’t let on, his own smile shyly spreading across his face. “How…how are you?”
He rubs the back of his neck with his large hand, his eyes darting away from mine. “I’m..I’m good. You?”
“Good. That’s good. I mean, I’m good. Good. It’s all…good.” What the fuck?
He chuckles lightly, looking anywhere but at me. “Good.”
We’re both silent for several moments. He’s so hot. Way out of my league hot. And the weird thing is, I don’t even think he realizes just how attractive he is. 
“Did my back issue of X-Men come in?”
“Oh!” I slap my forehead. “I almost forgot! Yes. Let me get that for you.” Trying desperately to hide the heat in my cheeks, I quickly walk around the counter, kneeling to sift through the special order pile. 
“You got more figures in?”
“Yeah,” I yell from my crouched position. “There’s a few bins in the back I haven’t emptied yet. Feel free to have a look!” 
“Thanks.” I hear him shuffle off towards the back of the shop just as I locate his order. The door bell dings again and I stand, smoothing down my jeans. A man stands at the counter, his bright blue eyes roaming up and down my body before her plasters on the most ingenuine smile I’ve ever seen. 
“Hi. How can I help you?” I ask him as I place Marcus’s order on the counter.
 “Hi beautiful. I’m looking for a comic.”
I internally sigh. I already know where this is going. It happens several times a week.
“Well you’ve come to the right shop. What are you looking for?”
He chuckles, intending to be endearing. It isn’t. “I’m looking for a very specific issue of Hawkeye. You know who that is?”
Seriously? “I am very familiar with Hawkeye. Are you?”
He scoffs. “Haha. You’re a funny, pretty thing. Anyway, I’m looking for a specific run of his. Do you know what that means?”
Anger surges through me and I grip the desk to ground myself. Out of the corner of my eye I see Marcus at the back of the store, standing and turning towards us but not moving. He’s even hot in my peripheral. 
“Which run are you looking for? Or are you wanting a recommendation?”
He laughs, the vile sound of it echoing off the walls. “A recommendation? From you? What would you know? You’re just a pretty little girl.”
A clunk from the back of the store and I see Marcus trip over one of the boxes. He doesn’t go down, but turns to fix the boxes that he’s kicked over. The man in front of me is unphased, his eyes still on me, an amused smile tugging at his lips.
“Well?” He spits out. 
I look at him, giving him a smile. “Well, if you’re asking me personally, my favorite run is the Matt Fraction run. Not only because of his artistic style and great story, but the fact that they weaved in Clint’s deafness, drawing him wearing his hearing aids, and even doing an entire issue completely in American Sign Language. A great story and representation of a marginalized community from, in my opinion, one of the best and most relatable Avengers. Now, would you like the individual issues, an omnibus, or the digital version?”
The smug smile slowly fades from his face, his eyes hardening. “You don’t have to be such a bitch.”
“I do when customers act like a bitch.” 
He grabs the fliers on the counter and throws them at me, turning towards the door. “Fuck you and this place!” He tries to slam the door behind him but he fumbles with the handle, flipping me off one final time before disappearing around the corner. 
I sigh, bending down to pick up the fliers. A hand reaches out, large and inviting, carefully helping me pick up the scattered papers. I look up at him, at Marcus, sweet Marcus. Who had heard all of that. 
“I’m sorry Marcus. I shouldn’t have lost my cool.”
He hands me the small stack he’s collected, meeting my gaze. “You don’t have to apologize for standing up to a sexist asshole. I should be the one who’s sorry.”
I combine our stacks, both of us standing as I tap them on the counter to even them out. “Why should you apologize?”
“I should’ve come to help,” he rubs the back of his neck, his ear turning slightly pink. 
I shake my head. “No, Marcus don’t worry about it. I get assholes like that all the time. Really, it’s ok.”
He shakes his head. “It’s really not-”
To my own surprise, I reach out and squeeze his arm. “Really, I’m ok. Thank you, Marcus.”
He smiles at me, opening his mouth to say something, but his phone rings from inside his pocket. “Sorry. Sorry.” He pulls it out, tapping on the clear screen only he can see. “Shit. I have to take this. Work. You sure you’re ok?”
I smile, trying not to show my sadness at his leaving. “I am. Hope everything’s ok at work.”
“Thanks. I’ll uh…see you around.” His eyebrows pull together as his phone rings again, his eyes moving down to the screen before he turns around and heads out the door, pausing to give me a wave through the window before he disappears into the crowd. 
I’ll never meet a man owning this shop. They’re either assholes, taken, or hopelessly out of my league. My own phone beeps and I pull it out, scanning the clear screen with my reservation confirmation. I tap the confirm button, nerves flooding my system. 
I can’t believe I signed up for a virtual version of the bachelorette.
—----
I closed the shop early and rushed home to get ready for that night. I arrive promptly at 7pm as they requested, the giant VIRTUAL LIFE logo on the side of the building bathing the sidewalk in bright blue light. I take a deep breath and walk inside, the door disappearing momentarily to let me in before reappearing behind me. The front desk assistant guides me to a row of elevators and instructs me to head to floor 28. I’m the only one in the elevator, the lights illuminating each floor as we pass it. The elevator stops and the doors open to a small waiting room, black leather couches and chairs surround a coffee table with several tablets, each loaded with some form of entertainment. While it looks like there are windows, if you look closely, you can tell they’re simulated, trying to grant us as much privacy as possible. Although, I think it may be more about guarding their own technology secrets. 
“Ivy?” a woman calls my name from the only doorway in the room aside from the elevator. I nod, standing and smoothing down my dress. 
“That’s me.”
“Right this way.” She leads me into another small office, a simple desk with a single chair for me to sit in. She sits opposite me at the desk, tapping in mid air at what I’m assuming is the computer screen in front of her. 
“Ivy it says here you signed up for the bachelorette program to meet a compatible mate. Is that correct?”
Swallowing down my embarrassment, I nod. “Y-yeah.”
She taps a few more things. “Great. Do you know how this works?”
“You guys take a picture of my brain and show me a story?”
She chuckles, the first time her professional demeanor has broken. “Almost but not quite. After we’re done here, you will be taken to the simulation room. You’ve already done your physical-”
“Yeah. They had me put on this suit and they captured the way I moved. Motion capture, I think?”
She nods. “Yes that’s it exactly. This way, your avatar inside your world will move like you. It helps with immersion.” I nod. “They also completed your brain scan to find the most viable dates and look of mate that you are searching for. You indicated you’re looking for a male mate, is that correct?”
I nod. “Yeah. Yes.”
She nods. “Alright. If you’ll go through the door, someone in scanning will take you. Good luck!” She gestures to a door on the opposite wall from where we entered. I go through the door and another woman greats me, leading me to chair where she has me sit and get comfortable. It reminds me of what the dentist chairs used to look like except way more comfortable. She turns to me, holding a helmet with different little lights on it. 
“Any questions?”
“Yeah. So what will he..I mean, how will I know who he is?”
“You will just know. Sort of like in a regular video game, where you can tell who is important to talk to.”
“Ok..but…will he look like him or?”
That’s reassuring. But then she interrupts my thoughts. “Don’t forget, he will be there too also looking for you.”
She shakes her head. “Your algorithm took in your scan and will give him the appearance of someone you find appealing or comforting. We’ve found it’s easier to accept someone if they have an outward appearance you’re already familiar with.”
“So you base connections on personality as opposed to looks?”
She nods. “Those relationships have the highest success rate, so yes.”
“And after, will you show me who he is?”
She nods. “In the simulation, you’ll go on 3 dates. They may be something as simple as communicating in an office to being a superhero or even traveling back in time. The algorithm takes both of your likes, dislikes, and desires and places you in situations. The more you play along and immerse yourself, or yourselves, into the simulation, the better the outcome, meaning a closer connection. And don’t worry - you cannot be physically harmed. And if it’s too much or you want to stop, you only need to say “End simulation”. Please be aware that time may pass differently in the simulation, but you will only be in for an hour. After, you will both meet here, in reality, and can determine whether you’d like to continue with a relationship or not. Any more questions?”
I shake my head. “I don’t think so. Not at the moment, anyway.”
She places the helmet on my head, the nodes all changing different colors as it comes in contact with me. She squeezes my shoulder and I look up at her. “Just relax and try to go with the theme. It’s more fun that way, ok?”
I nod, wiping my sweaty palms on my dress. “Yeah. Makes sense.”
“Good luck!” She taps a button on her clear screen and my vision fades to black so just a couple of seconds. But then I’m blinking awake, the tips of my fingers tingling and my toes feeling like they just woke up. My vision starts to clear and the room comes into focus. I’m sitting at a bar, a fancier bar, which explains the nice dress. As my hearing levels out, I realize that the blonde man to my right is talking to me, his body shifted in my direction. His grey eyes are slightly unsettling. This can’t be my mate, can it? 
“...and so I had them fired! Can you imagine? I asked for my steak to be medium and they brought it out medium well. That will teach that guy to listen to the customer at his next job.” Grey Eyes chuckles and takes a sip of the drink in front of him. He nods towards the glass in front of me. “Do you want another?”
“What? Oh, uh sure.” 
He flags the bartender down and orders a rum and coke before making a show of leaning on his beefy arm against the bar. “I’m glad you finally saw reason and agreed to come out with me tonight.”
I give him a small smile. “Yeah. Same here.” This doesn’t feel right. Maybe they got it wrong? Someone bumps into me from behind and grey eyes catches me, glaring at the person who bumped me, who had moved on. 
“Are you ok?”
“Yeah. It’ll take more than a drunk asshole to bring me down.” Grey Eyes laughs, picking up his glass and holding it up towards me. “I’ll drink to that.” I glance down to grab my drink, only to find it wasn’t there. I look back at Grey Eyes and see him frozen in place, the smirk on his face completely gone, his glass shaking as he continues to hold it in mid air. My glass appears next to his, lightly clicking against his glass. 
“Now that’s not very nice.” That voice. I would know his voice anywhere. My entire body relaxes as I turn to look into the dark brown eyes that I love so much.
“Marcus!” I exclaim, ignoring the vein in grey eye’s neck that’s threatening to pop. Marcus on the other hand, looks good. I mean, he always looks good to me but he’s dressed in nice black pants and a light blue button up shirt with matching black jacket. I’m not sure how a blue shirt makes his brown eyes pop, but it does. Marcus pushes his black frames up his nose.
“Hey, Ivy. Sorry to interrupt your date, but this not so kind gentlemen put a little something in your drink.”
“He what?” I blink rapidly a few times, trying to pry my eyes away from him. Grey Eyes vein relaxes somewhat and he sputters out.
“Fuck you man! We’re on a date! What….what are you doing to me?”
Marcus shrugs. “Well, you wanted to make it so she can’t move. Only fair if I return the favor.” 
Grey Eyes goes to say something else, but then seems to recognize the man standing next to me, his eyes going wide.
“Aren’t you the guy that can move metal?”
My eyes snap to Marcus, who is smiling. “I see I have a fan.”
Grey Eyes tries to backtrack. “Listen, man. I’m sorry. I was just trying to get her to loosen up a bit. Have some fun.”
Marcus looks at me, his brown eyes wide and smiling. “Ivy, do you wish to continue your date with this man?”
“Nope.” I pop the “p” sound at the end of the word. “Little hard to have fun when my date is trying to render me unconscious.”
Marcus waves the bartender over. “Call the police. This man is in possession of Freeze Me.”
 A handful of what felt like seconds later, several officers show up and arrest Grey Eyes, who barely puts up a struggle. I turn towards Marcus, my smile stretching my face as I grab his arm. “My hero.”
His eyes dart around the room, his arm coming up to rub at the back of his neck. “It was nothing.”
Gosh he’s so cute when he does that neck rub thing. Wait. Gotta play along. 
“Is Marcus the Metal Bender actually acting shy around me?”
He chuckles nervously and I think how perfect they coded him. Like he was picked out of my brain. Which I guess he was. 
“Just trying to be respectful.”
I wish he wouldn’t. Wait, are we even allowed to have sex in here? Wow, getting ahead of yourself there, Ivy.
“Youwannagetoutofhere?” He speaks so fast it all comes out in a jumble and I cock my head to the side. 
“What?”
He swallows hard and I can’t help but watch his Adam’s apple bob in his throat. “Do you want to get out of here?”
“Hell yeah I do.” 
—-
It’s a few weeks later, or at least it feels like some time has passed. That lady did say time passes differently here. Now I’m in an office building, a stack of files in my arms, walking down the hall. A quick glance around tells me I’m in the Heroics head quarters. Marcus appears from around the corner and looks up at me, smiling and walking towards me. But then a man in a much too tight blue suit with a glowing M on it joins him, Marcus’s shoulders sagging slightly as he gives me a sad little wave.
“When are you two going to go on a date already?” A woman with bright pink hair appears next to me. 
“I uh, me?”
She slaps my shoulder. “Yes, you Ivy.” She leans in closer to my ear. “Aren’t you the one who confessed to having a crush on our heroic leader?”
I will the heat rising in my face to not show. “Oh, I uh..I-”
“You know he likes you too.” Her jaw drops when she sees the confused look on my face. “Oh don’t tell me you can’t tell! That man can hardly look at you and he’s taken down alien forces by just staring at them.”
She feels like a close friend so I go with it. “Yeah, ok I like him. Keep your voice down, will you?” She continues walking with me to the end of the hall where I deposit the stack of files into several slots, each one making a small whoosh sound as they’re whisked away to their destinations.
When I’m done, Pink Hair gently grabs my face and turns me to her. “I love you, Ivy. You know you’re like the sister I never had. So please listen to me when I say ask that man out before something happens and you regret not ever trying.”
Well fuck. That is…really spot on to reality isn’t it? 
I never get a chance to answer her as the entire building suddenly shakes, alarms and lights screeching and illuminating the halls. One of the tall filing cabinets starts to topple in my direction and I can only look on in horror, frozen in place by the rumbling building. I throw my hands up, as if that’s going to stop it, but nothing happens. The cabinet is laid gently on its side, floating to the ground. 
“Come on!” I look up into those dark eyes, Marcus extending his hand to me and helping me to my feet. “We have to get out of here!” He tightens his grip and somehow leads us out of the chaotic building out into the streets. Which is also nuts. People are running everywhere and…wait. Is that an alien spaceship coming towards us??
Marcus pulls me behind a wall, glancing around it and waving hand signals to a small group of heroes across the street behind another wall, Pink Hair amongst them. He turns back to me, his face full of worry as he starts to take his shirt off, exposing…not skin but a uniform? No. His hero costume, which is a black shirt,and arm bands. He sees me staring down and he shrugs. “I normally have a tach vest but we’re out of time.” 
“Should you not go out there without one?”
Marcus shakes his head. “I have to support my team. And I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you safe. I mean, people safe.”
“You could just stay here with me? The others can handle-” my words are cut off by a giant laser beam cutting through the street, coming directly from the ship. 
He takes my hand and squeezes it. “Get yourself to safety. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine. I need you to be safe.” Another laser beam, the sound of some smaller buildings crumbling to the ground. “Go! Get to safety!” He releases my hand. 
I get a glimpse of the deep craters that lasers had left in their wake through the cement of the street, the piles of rubble and dust, and this spurs me on.
“Marcus?” He leans against the wall, readying himself, but he looks at me. 
“Yeah?”
Mustering up my courage, I lean towards his hunched body, softly planting a kiss on his lips. When I pull back, I see his chest heaving, his eyes moving between mine.
“Please make it back, Marcus.”
Before he can answer, the ship comes into view and his team moves out, following behind Miracle Guy, who had flown right up the ship and started punching it. Marcus’s head whips around, assessing the situation and I squeeze his arm once more before quickly moving out of the immediate area. I know I should move more, but I can’t get hurt so… 
The fight that ensues between the ship, the aliens inside, and the Heroics team is nothing short of brilliant. They may argue in the halls, but in the field, they all take direction from Marcus, who is a brilliant leader, playing all of their strengths. Marcus bends metal like it’s made of playdough, a beautiful dance of destruction and strength. Then the ship comes crashing down, everyone moving out of the way except-
“Marcus!” I emerge from my hiding place at a full run as the smoke around the alien ship that’s currently scraping along the road as it crashes and envelops Marcus. The ship stops, groaning as it falls back and lays still, no other life forms moving or detected on board. For a few moments, no one moves. Then Marcus emerges from the smoke, his face soot stained and a small gash in his shirt and along his cheek, but otherwise unharmed. 
“Marcus!” I run to him, his eyes finding mine, his entire body relaxing as he realizes I’m safe, just before I launch myself into his arms, our lips crashing together as my right hand fists in his shirt, my left tugging on his hair. Miracle Guy wolf whistles but I couldn’t care less. I feel his tongue gently lick out and I part my lips, letting him take whatever he wants. But before it can go any further, my vision starts to blacken, the last thing I see is Marcus’s eyes going out of focus as he succumbs to his own transition to the next simulation.
—----
I find myself blinking awake for the second time in what feels like weeks, but I know in reality it’s only been maybe 20 minutes that I was in there. The tips of my fingers and toes are tingling, my vision and hearing clearing and I find myself in…a breakroom. Am I back at the Heroics? The slight weight in my hand takes my focus and I realize I’m holding a cup of tea. I must be on my break. I walk towards the floor-to-ceiling windows, looking outside. I’m not back at Heroics - the cityscape is all wrong. I hear the door open behind me and I turn, the smile on my face widening as Marcus enters the room. His hair is shorter than the last simulation. And his face is clean shaven, which is a look I’ve never seen on him before. Not that it matters - he’s beautiful no matter what. I wonder what he’ll look like when he’s a little older. Probably hot as-
“Hey, Ivy.” Marcus smiles down at me, grabbing his own mug and pouring a cup of coffee from the carafe. I notice the FBI logo on the mug and figure that must be where we are.
“Hey,  Marcus.” I take a sip of my tea as we both watch the other. But then the door opens again, another agent walking into the room. He claps his hands together, looking at us.
“Hey! Congrats on finally cracking that art case, you two! 8 months is a long time to do an operation like that. Great work!” He shakes both of our hands as we thank him. Marcus catches my eye and, with a small movement, jerks his head towards the door. I nod, thanking the other agent again and follow Marcus out of the tiny breakroom and down the hall, stopping in front of an office door labeled MARCUS PIKE. I wonder if that's his name back In reality. He extends his arm towards his office and I head inside, smiling at him as I do, noting how his eyes dart around, that hand coming up to rub at the back of his neck as he closes the door behind him.
“I uh…great work, Ivy.” 
“You too.” 
He puts his hands in his pockets and finally looks me in my eyes and he nods once. 
“Listen. Do you..uh..I mean, would you like to…this is coming out all weird.”
I squeeze his arm and he looks down at my hand, taking a deep breath. 
“Would you like to get something to eat?”
My stomach erupts in butterflies. “Like on a date?”
The redness in his eyes spreads down onto his cheeks as he stammers, gesturing around vaguely. “No! No, not uh. Not a date.”
I can feel my face falling. “Oh.”
“Uh, unless you…uh…unless you want to? Make it a…a date?” His eyes are wide and bright, like a damn puppy. 
I smile, tucking some hair behind my ear. “Yeah. Yeah, I would love to go on a date with you, Marcus.” 
His smile is bright, lighting up the room. “Yeah?”
“Yes.”
He let's out a sigh of relief. “Great! I found this great pancake place.”
Pancakes? I love this man already. “It's nearly dinner time!” I can't help the small giggle that I let out. 
“Yeah, well you said your favorite food is pancakes. And they're open 24 hours.”
He remembered my favorite food? I'm so screwed. Damn this program is good. “You're right! I'd love to get pancakes with you. On a date. For a date. When will this date be, by the way?”
“Oh. I uh, would it be too weird if we went tonight? Is that too soo-”
“No! I mean, yes! No it's not too soon. I'd love to go!” If my heart could stop beating through my chest, that would be great. It's not that I'm some young girl getting asked on her first date. I just really like Marcus. Or whomever this is. My heart sinks at the thought of it not being the Marcus I know in reality. 
“Great! I'll pick you up at 7? Unless you'd rather meet me there? I don't want you to be uncomfortable.”
“Marcus, we just spent 8 months together on assignment. I think I'm comfortable around you.”
He chuckles. “Fair point.” His office phone rings and he apologizes to me, picking it up. I wave ro him and he mouths “See you at 7!”
—----
He picks me up with a flourish of flowers, all long legs and button up shirt that I'm really dying to unbutton. If that's even allowed here. 
But what's more than that is the conversation. I thought I had learned everything about him over the last 8 months. I was very wrong. 
“You were a bass player in a band?” I ask, choking on my drink.
He laughs, holding his hands up in front of him. “What can I say? I wanted to meet more people.”
“I bet you had all the girls hanging on you.”
Marcus shrugs. “Not really. They all want to date the drummer or the singer.”
“Really? Not the sexy bass player?”
Marcus takes too large of a sip of his drink and coughs, pounding his chest. “No, not the…you think I'm sexy?”
I set my fork down and meet his eyes. “If I didn't like you, I wouldn't be here.”
We spend several moments, just looking at each other and then I remember that he's not a simulation but a real person on the other end of those eyes. My heart squeezes thinking about how it won't actually be Marcus. Despite that thought, we really get along well and the conversation flows freely between us. Sooner than I’d like, we’re leaving the small diner, heading back to my place. Marcus parks in my driveway and turns to me, his eyes bright and wide like a damn puppy. We had been talking about books, one of my favorite topics.
“..and I know everyone complains that Tolkien takes 20 pages to describe a flower, but I really love that attention to detail. It makes it more immersive for me. One of these days I’ll get you to read Lord of the Rings!” I tap my fingers on his bicep to emphasize my point.
Marcus rubs his neck. “I uh…I already have.”
My jaw drops. “What? When??”
“When you told me it was your favorite book. Or books, I should say.”
I think back. “Marcus, that was…months ago!”
His eyes meet mine, the light from the street lamp outside adding a sparkle to them. “You said they were your favorite so…I read them.”
My stomach does flips, my heart beating. “You read them all for me?”
He nods. “Even the Silmarillion.”
I can’t help it. This is so fucking hot. I reach out and grip his shirt, pulling him to me, his soft lips pressing against mine, the heat between us quickly rising. His large hand cradles the back of my head, holding me to him as his other hand settles on my hip, squeezing it lightly. We make out for several minutes, Marcus kissing and nipping a path down my neck. 
“Do you want to come in?” I ask breathlessly. 
He pulls back and looks at me. “I do but-” he whispers. “Are we allowed?”
“I…I’m not sure. We could try to-” 
But then my vision starts to blacken around the edges, and before I pass out, I hear Marcus say “See you in the next one!” before we both black out.
—----
Now familiar with the way I wake in these simulations, I wiggle my fingers and toes, giving myself a moment to figure out where I am. The room looks…ok, this isn’t from my time. Roman decor and pillars line the grand bedroom, some food laying on a small table for, I’m assuming, me. A quick glance down shows me in a beautiful white garb and I marvel for a moment at how clean it is. 
BOOM!
The ground shakes and I duck down, completely caught off guard. It’s only after the boom dies down that I hear it - the distant sound of clanking swords and men yelling. I walk to the small window set into the wall and look out, my brain taking a moment to process the scene in front of me. 
I’m several floors up in a sort of round building, a castle I realize as I see the lower tiers, more square in their shape. I’m sure the grounds would have been beautiful, if it weren’t for the massive amounts of soldiers fighting in the streets. I can make out their bodies, the blood, sweat, and dirt spreading almost like a disease. Spear and swords burst from chests or stomachs, limbs separating from their bodies to be lost to the throngs of soldiers. The seem to be moving closer to the castle, which I’m not sure if I want to happen or not. Turning on my sandaled heel, I walk to the door, pressing my ear against the wood to listen. Hearing nothing, I try to open it. Nothing. The door doesn’t open or move, the handle locked into place.
Well, fuck. 
Before I can try and figure out how far down the next ledge is out the window, or if I can even fit out the window, I hear a commotion outside my door. It’s not loud, but I hear a man gurgling and sputtering, a small bit of crimson blood pooling under the door. I grab an iron rod by the fire and hold it up, preparing to defend myself. I know they said I can’t be hurt but damn this feels real. The door opens and a man walks through, wide, muscular shoulders under his Roman armor, Medusa proudly engrained on the front. I lunge, the iron rod above my head but the man turns and grabs the rod and I  would’ve fallen to the floor if he hadn’t caught me.
“Ivy! Here you are!” 
It’s him. Marcus. Only he’s older, probably closer to 50. Grey streaks in his curls and patchy facial hair only accentuate his beauty, a new scar forming across his nose, bleeding lightly down his face. He’s covered in dirt and blood and ash, but I throw my arms around him anyway.
“Marcus! Thank God, what’s going on?”
He cups my face, pushing my hair out of my face. “You are so beautiful, my love. I would bring every army from the entire world to rescue you from this horrid Emperor.” And then his lips are on mine, urgency behind them, but a desire to show me how l much I am loved. This man apparently started the battle outside, for me, and still wants to make sure that I know how important I am to him? 
“We have to flee. Come!” But before we can leave, the door flies open and 5 guards file in, grabbing Marcus and holding his arms out to his sides. I pick the iron rod up from the floor and run towards them, unsure of what I would do but I know I’ll beat the shit out of them until they let him go. But another hand shoots out and grabs my wrist, twisting it hard so I drop the rod. I look up into the eyes of a man that I’m assuming is the Emperor, his golden robes flowing around him. He looks vaguely familiar, like that one asshole from the comic shop.
“Now, now my dear. What were you planning on doing with that?”
I open my mouth to reply, but then he smacks me across the face and I slam down onto the floor. Ok, that hurt. Didn’t she say I wouldn’t get hurt? Maybe she meant I wouldn’t die. Marcus swears, cursing the Emperor for hitting me. 
“Are you alright, my love?” Marcus grunts as the men punch him in the stomach. 
“Marcus, Marcus, Marcus. You’re kind are dying out. I told you to just accept your fate and take your banishment, but instead, you stayed behind and fell in love with a woman. How…stupid.” Marcus tries to speak but he’s punched again, his body hunching over. I try to stand, but then I’m drug up by my hair, the Emperor’s fingers digging at my scalp as he pulls me to his side. 
“This one?” His eyes rake over my body. “She is attractive, I’ll give you that. Even if she is attracted to a brute like you.” I jerk my body, trying to get out of his grip but it’s too tight, my hands gripping his arms to try and get some relief from the stinging at the back of my scalp.
“Let her go. You can kill me, I don’t care, but let her go.”
The Emperor looks from me to Marcus, a sick smile spreading on his face. “I didn’t go through the trouble of kidnapping her just to have you give up. So I’ll tell you what I’ll do instead. LOOK AT ME!” The Emperor bellows from beside me, Marcus’s eyes moving from mine to his. 
He steps closer to Marcus, dragging me a little beside him. “Such a wild man. How about this: you watch as I take her. Then, I’ll drive my sword through her belly so she can slowly bleed out on the floor. Only after the light has left her eyes will I either kill you or lock you up to suffer the rest of your days. How does that sound?”
The darkness that settles over Marcus is unforgiving, his eyes hardening in resolution. He growls and screams, throwing the soldiers off him as he grabs his sword from the ground, swinging it and taking out all of the soldiers in only a handful of moves. He spins, aiming his sword at the Emperor, who has now moved me in front of him as a human shield, a knife to my throat. 
“I’ll kill her, Marcus! You are too weak to save her!”
Marcus’s gaze moves briefly to mine and I release my weak grip on the Emperor’s arms, letting them fall to my side. Marcus shifts his body ever so slightly before he throws something from behind his back. The object whizzes past my cheek, scratching it slightly as the blade buries itself in the Emperor’s neck. He drops his knife and clutches at his throat, his eyes wide with fear. He crumbles to the floor and sputters for several moments before his body stops moving. I run to Marcus, throwing my arms around him again. He grunts and I remember the soldiers hitting him.
“Are you hurt?”
He clutches his side. “I’ve had worse.”
“You are so fucking hot right now,” I speak quietly to him and he smiles. “I’m covered in dirt and blood and sweat.”
“Stop trying to turn me on more I already said you’re hot.”
He laughs but then inhales sharply at the pain. “I’ll take it, I guess.”
“No, that’s my job.” I bring my lips to his, pushing him back towards the chaise lounge chair on the other side of the room. He sits, pulling me onto his lap as I straddle him, my dress getting dirty as I shift my hips. He groans, his large hands sliding up my bare thighs under my dress and fuck! My vision starts to blacken and I hear Marcus whine out some expletives as we both are brought out of the simulation. 
—---------------------------
Hopefully for the last time, I blink awake, wiggling my fingers and toes as I look around the room. The helmet is gently lifted from my head and the woman that had put it on me moves into my eyesight.
“How are you feeling?”
“I’m here.”
“Good. Wait just a moment for your body to fully catch up. Do you have any questions?”
“Yeah why did you stop us having sex?”
She studies me for a moment. “It is not allowed in the programming.”
“I cross my arms. “Well your programming is stupid.”
She chuckles so quietly I thought I’d imagined it. “The algorithm wants you and your mate to match based on personality and emotions, not just physical.”
“I can guarantee you it wasn’t just physical.” 
She helps me stand and I shake my limbs out, full feeling returning to them. I smooth out my dress as she readjusts my hair. “Are you ready to meet him?”
Him. My reality man. “Y..yeah.” 
“Right through that door. He’s already waiting for you.” I move towards the door but she stops me. “I just have to say, I’ve been doing this for years and I’ve never seen a situation like yours and his.”
I furrow my brow. “What do you mean?”
So smiles softly. “So…rooted in reality.”
Yeah that’s not confusing. But she doesn’t explain further, turning back to the chair and helmet, starting to clean them. I take a deep breath to steady myself and open the door, walking through and closing it behind me. The man on the other side of the room, my mate, turns towards me and we both gasp.
“Marcus?”
“Ivy?”
We meet in the middle of the room and I cup his face, Marcus tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “Is it really you?”
He nods. “Yeah. You? Real?”
“Real.”
He pulls my face to his, kissing me deeply, but then pulling back a moment later. 
“I’ve been dying to ask you out since forever. I never thought I’d be paired with you, here of all places.”
I cock my head to the side. “Why didn’t you ever ask me?”
“Have you seen yourself? You’re entirely out of my league.”
“I’m fairly certain it’s the other way around.”
He opens his mouth to protest, but I put my finger on his lips. “I think we went through several first dates in there. Plus, we’re already friends. Can we…that is, can you take me back to your place first? Then we can eat?”
Marcus’s eyes darken, his hands finding a place on my hips as he pulls me against his body, letting me feel how into that idea he is. 
We’re married a year later.
—----
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yanderes-galore · 4 months
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can u write some hcs for Sir Pentious with flirty darling? We all agree he's a pathetic yandere. Flirty darling will make it even worse.. For themselves if they don't stop flirting with other demons <3
Oml, you're so right. He's be a mess with a flirty darling.
Yandere! Sir Pentious with Flirty! Darling
Pairing: Romantic
Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Clingy behavior, Jealousy, Stalking, Mature themes, Delusional behavior, Submissive yandere, Darling is a bit mean, Dubious relationship.
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I feel like Sir Pentious with a flirty darling would break him, yet he also wouldn't understand.
It's said he doesn't understand sexual innuendos and often lacks boundaries.
Ironically he seems very innocent compared to most demons.
He knows he adores his darling and definitely wants to be noticed by them.
In fact, he'd do whatever he can to gain their attention.
So the moment he notices them flirting with him, he's speechless.
He likes it when you flatter him and compliment him.
Although anything that alludes to sex he doesn't entirely understand unless you... point it out for him.
You could easily make him a blushing mess with flirtatious comments.
Sir Pentious is a submissive and pathetic yandere, his darling could easily make him melt.
When he understands them, anyways.
Sir Pentious may also fall under the delusional yandere category, as he originally thinks his darling only flirts with him.
Which must mean they love him.
However, if you are anything like Angel Dust, then you're flirty with everyone for the sake of teasing.
Which admittedly makes his heart sting a bit.
Although with how delusional he is, he may just think you're trying to make him jealous so he acts affectionate back.
I do think it's hard to get an idea into his head that changes his beliefs.
He's just going to think you love him and go with it.
There's no doubt he does get jealous when you flirt with others.
How does he know?
He never leaves your side.
Sir Pentious usually either has his Egg Boiz spy on you or he does it.
He'd feel so betrayed if you flirted with other demons.
Just as teasing as a Succubus/Incubus.
I can see his reaction being one of multiple ways.
He could feel so betrayed he just starts crying.
He could delude himself into thinking this is just one of your quirks.
Or he could be jealous to the point he feels like he needs to take claim to you and just... crashes your conversation.
That or a combination of all three, all at once, and probably in that order.
You'd be so confused when he throws himself into the conversation, doing his best to fit in as he sticks himself as close to you as possible.
It certainly drives the other demon off, which was his plan all along.
I feel his whole attempt at isolating you and keeping your flirting on him is going to backfire.
Because afterwards you may just be tempted to mess with him even more.
Which leads to more flirting, more of his panicking, and more of your little game.
Due to his actions it isn't hard to tell he loves you.
He's deep in it, too.
So, for every tease you make sure you compensate.
You'll smother him in affection some days, flirting and making gestures at him...
Only to flirt with another demon with a knowing grin.
You could be so cruel to him and he'd still love you all the same.
Sir Pentious would do anything for your affection, including playing your sadistic little games.
He's so submissive and pathetic I doubt he'd outright try to kill someone and succeed.
He'd be very comical with trying to get others away from you, doing things like rushed threats and attempts to show you he's the better suitor.
You actually feel a little bad at times due to how hard he tries.
He may have instances where he's actually quite cunning and manipulative with you and those around you, but those are uncommon.
He's mostly... just a mess.
He loves you so much, the moment he has a taste of you due to your flirting...
He refuses to give it up, maybe even to the point of removing the competition if it means he gets to keep your attention and sweet words for himself.
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thewertsearch · 6 months
Text
Let's kick things off with a mega-giga ask compilation!
I've spent the last couple of days working through the backlog, and I've been able to answer some quite old asks that were spoilers at the time they were sent.
@kintatsu asked: So, I was rereading your blog, and got to the post where you determine that John's 13th birthday was a Monday, and complain on his behalf that he couldn't really relax due to having the whole schoolweek ahead of him. Well, I checked, and the previous day was the first Sunday after the first full moon after the equinox, i.e. Easter Sunday. So it might have been a holiday week.
John entered the Medium shortly after Easter Sunday, and he did so by biting into an apple. Forget about the god tiers – his most powerful transformation is clearly Catholic Beast Mode.
Anonymous asked: The thing about knowing your Aspect, I think, is that it's the Aspect you most GET. I GET Space and Light, I understand them completely, they are suffused in my bones and my blood, they are writ large upon my brain and every base in my DNA. What aspect do you just GET?
To be honest, I don’t think I know enough about any Aspect to ‘get’ it.
If I had to choose, then I'd probably feel the most natural affinity for Life and/or Doom – and if was forced to pick one, I’d say I'm very slightly more drawn to Life, just based on vibes.
@mhafanlol2000 asked: I think the horrorterror’s plan (or the closest thing we can comprehend) is CHAOS-by which I mean LIFE. Skaia is order. If it can want, then it wants its players to follow the script it has written-the Alpha. It wants propagation, the snake to eat it’s own tail, blah blah blah. That is order. That is perfect servitude. That is NOT life. The gods, meanwhile, want chaos. It wants its servants to live. It does not tell people to do anything. It simply gives them the facts, and says “here is what you should do. You can not, you can do whatever the hell.” It wants romance, conflict, CHAOS. that is life.
And if this theory is accurate to the canon Life aspect, then I feel justified in my affinity for it. It falls fairly closely in line with my own philosophy.
@necrowyrm asked: When searching your blog I always type "thew" before Tumblr autocompletes your URL. That has become who you are to me.. Thew, Glorious Liveblogger, navigating the treacherous seas of Homestuck
Sally ‘Thew’ Ertsearch, reporting in. 🫡
Anonymous asked: there's actually another arthurian joke to do with dave's land/quest. have another look at the disc platform that bro stabbed. how would you describe the shape of that turntable?
Ayy, Dave's a Knight of the Round Turntable! Honestly, that'd be a pretty great name for his theme song.
@caliquill asked: kanaya vs rose would be absolutely hilarious but. kanaya IS the original "I Can Fix Her" girl for a reason.
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Anonymous asked: the only real requirement for a name suggestion to be picked was that the firstname was 4 letters. but by really cool coincidence strider and lalonde are 7 letters, and egbert and harley are 6, and if you add those together its 4/13! similarly, both the trolls names were required to be 6 letters (i think hussie mixed and matched them actually, some of the firstnames were suggested as surnames and vice versa) so theres a similar case to be made for 6/12. but just doubling the same number i think holds less water than adding together two different numbers
Number symbolism is just very flexible in general. All Hussie really had to do was introduce a few 'important' numbers, and the fandom could start finding them everywhere!
Anonymous asked: This may be the wrong place to ask, but have you deleted your post of analyzing the Let the Squiddles Sleep song? I can't seem to find it anywhere.
Here it is. Hopefully you're able to see it now!
Anonymous asked: Will the Mega-Ask-Compilation and Liveblog Recap also happen? ~LOSS (19/2/23)
The former is currently taking place. The latter was planned, but after skimming my blog for a bit, I realized I didn't have as much to say about it as I thought I did. Plus, it's been ages, so I'm really excited to look at some new pages. We can leave the old ones for later - I'll probably do some sort of blog retrospective eventually.
Anonymous asked: i figure the trolls' battlefield went through a full set of dnd dice/platonic solids, plus maybe some other notable johnson solids like a truncated icosahedron (aka a soccer ball or buckminsterfullerene), before becoming a sphere. maybe the outer ring went through stages like simple torus, mobius strip, borromean rings or other fun knots, before becoming a mobius net. (not really sure what a mobius net is, mathematically, but that's apparently what the thing around the final form of the kid's battlefield is called.) or maybe something weird happens with that many prototypings, and the battlefield turns into a tesseract or a klein bottle or a menger sponge or a mandelbulb.
If you so much as look at the Battlefield created by the Gigasession, your brain will leak out of your ears.
@manorinthewoods asked: <3Dave, >3>John, >3oJade, <>Rose (by process of elimination) ~LOSS (5/6/23)
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I don’t think either of the girls have worn a playing card symbol. The leaf on Jade’s Wardrobifier does kind of look like a spade, but John’s already got that quadrant on lockdown.
Anonymous asked: Reading stuff about skaia on this blog reminded me of madoka, and made me consider that skaia might be like kyube and the other incubators and sburb is skaias way of keeping the unerverse from decaying
Reading this ask makes me realize that Rose is a near-perfect mark for Kyubey.
There’s only one way to save your session, Seer. Form a contract with me, and become a magical girl.
Anonymous asked: man. i dont know what i expected to happen when you found it. but for The Baby Is You to be liveblogged in less than 20 words during a post was not the way i expected it to go
I know it’s not technically part of Homestuck canon, but it really feels like Homestuck canon to me - at least to the same degree as Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff, and I liveblogged that.
Anonymous asked: begging (lightheartedly) for you to add posts like LOLCAT and "this guy's an orb" to one of the liveblog tags. they're pretty funny, and it's nice to see off-the-cuff reactions like that, haha. imo it'd be a shame for new readers to miss those kind of posts
Done! I sometimes forget to tag posts like that, because I usually just fire them off and forget about ‘em.
@captorations asked: “Give me a set of rules, and I'll analyze the hell out them, every time.” hello fellow doom player. hope you like the color green
Based on ~ATH’s association with curses, as well as Sollux’s programming hobby, I think there’s a decent chance that Doom relates to coding in some way.
Coding is all about rules, so perhaps Doom, is, in fact, the aspect of rules and logic. I'm not sure why such an aspect would be named 'doom', but it's been obvious for a while that these aspect names aren't always literal.
Anonymous asked: I’d just like to clarify some terminology because it seems relevant, but Aradia isn’t a red blood, she’s a rust blood
[The blood colors all have canon names: Aradia = rust blood Tavros = bronze blood Sollux = gold blood Nepeta = olive blood Kanaya = jade blood Terezi = teal blood Vriska = blue blood (I like cerulean better tho) Equius = indigo blood Gamzee = purple blood Eridan = violet blood Feferi = fuchsia blood and Karkat has no official blood name, but people usually call him mutant blood or candy-red blood - C ]
Oh, there are official names for each color? That’s going to be helpful to disambiguate each blood caste, especially when we really start digging into troll culture and biology.
Anonymous asked: I do believe the top-left ship on the wall - no, Karkat doesn't have red eyes. […] It's probably Vrisrezi, yes, but it could also be Vriskat.
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Yeah, I’m still not sure who this ship is supposed to represent.
They have Terezi’s eyes, but the hair and symbol look like Karkat’s. Plus, Nepeta hates this ship, which would make sense if it’s between her crush and someone other than her.
Honestly, my best guess is that it was meant to be Karkat, and the red eyes were just a mistake on Hussie’s part.
Anonymous asked: something I never thought about… is the blue blood sourced from equius or did he get a stock.
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Aradia has real blue indigo blood in her veins, and it almost certainly belongs to Equius himself. He could have got it from a donor, but I personally doubt there was anyone else he could ask. Equius feels like he'd be an outsider, even to other indigo-bloods.
Anonymous asked: vriska would be a good strider
Vriska Serket raised by Bro Strider would be the most terrifying character imaginable. I don't even want to contemplate what that upbringing would do to her.
Anonymous asked: Any piece of lore hussie writes needs to contend with the fact that hussie is resolutely committed to the bit. Hence all the words on how different trolls are being entirely blasted aside by 'and then they're just grey humans anyway lmao'
That's the price of admission into Homestuck, for better or for worse. Hussie quite clearly enjoys screwing with us, and we have to take everything we see in the comic with a huge pinch of salt.
Anonymous asked: I'll disagree a bit on the phrasing that Eridan forces Feferi to <> him because firstly she doesn't even seem convinced that he would commit genocide and secondly she dropped him super easily once the lusus-feeding is no longer necessary. While understandable, that doesn't suggest to me someone who is obliged by Eridan's aggression to pacify him. I think she has much more agency in this relationship (or lack thereof I suppose) than that.
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Feferi definitely had her doubts – but she must have believed that Eridan was dangerous to a certain degree, because that’s the basis of a moirallegiance.
Forced might not be the right word, but she certainly felt some amount of obligation to pacify him. She sure wasn’t in that relationship for the good of her health.
Anonymous asked: So, Vriska has a conversation with Karkat, where he says she seems to have blackrom feelings for Tavros, but that he doesn't think Tavros can even feel blackrom properly. Then she has another conversation with Tavros in which she antagonizes him, and he notices, but just kind of ignores it and doesn't respond emotionally. Then we see her make a huge dramatic redrom gesture and kiss him. She vacillated because he wasn't into her… incel behavior.
Yup. I’ve always held that Tavros never wanted anything to do with Vriska. He doesn't want to love or hate her - what he really wants is to live in a world where she doesn't exist.
Vriska’s refusal to accept this basic fact is one of the main reasons she’s decided to make his life a living hell.
Anonymous asked: I headcanon that troll blood is analog, but the empire culls non-digital colors because they make the troll race seem like a joke or something. Lol
If there were minor variations in blood color, the Empire probably wouldn’t want to acknowledge it, since the stratification of blood classes forms the basis of their society.
We haven’t seen any trolls besides our twelve (apart from Troll Will Smith) so we can’t compare the blood of two members of the same caste - but we can speculate. Human blood color is known to vary depending on its oxygenation level, and I imagine troll blood would reflect its current chemical composition in the same way.
Anonymous asked: Vriska must be seething while Karkat introduces the concept of quadrants to the reader. Imagine this basic and important facet of troll life, and you're just getting schoolfed it. (This message was sent on 20/10/22.)
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This was a fun bit of weirdness from early Hivebent, wasn’t it? In retrospect, it's kind of hilarious that Karkat decided to infodump to Vriska about the obscure, niche topic of… dating.
@sanctferum asked: According to his formspring, Hussie's self-insert's classpect is Waste of Space. He also briefly considers Huss of Lips. This is obviously not meant to be taken seriously but. since you asked @absinthe-and-alabaster asked: i believe hussie said somewhere that FedoraFreak's classpect was "Gent of Piss" Anonymous asked: (not sure if this is technically a spoiler but) hussie has jokingly said that fedorafreak's class is a gent.
If Dad Egbert was a Player, then the Gent class would be forced into canonical existence, as the only class that could possibly define him.
Anonymous asked: If Vriska's control does require the victim to on some level want to do the thing, then Sollux's insistence that you do not under any circumstance eat the mind honey could be something he developed in response to that incident. So that if she ever controls him again, she won't be able to make him eat it.
Wow, I never considered that. That’s a very good (and tragic) take, and I think I'm at least locking it in as a headcanon.
Anonymous asked: the official extended zodiac actually has… 288 signs, if im doing my math right? and also probably hadn't yet been conceptualized when that page was posted (the earliest known evidence comes from 2015). i don't know if any thought was put into the number or if it was just pulled from their ass, but there was a running gag in hussie's q&as where he repeatedly threatened us with a 10,000 page intermission focused on 48 squiddles, each representing a sign from the alternian zodiac Anonymous asked: I believe the troll zodiac is one of the few things in HS lore that was truly retconned, there’s actually 288 signs.
Move over, 48 Squiddles. I want to hear about the 288-player clusterfuck that actually gave rise to Alternia!
@manorinthewoods asked: wheee, you got to the first god tiering! this probably opens up a load of new things to say, so, first off: do you think you need to have a full echeladder to god tier? vriska implied so.
She never outright stated that it was required, but I still think it probably is. You generally need to max out your class levels before you can prestige.
@morganwick asked: Believe it or not, you're still in the "Homestuck could have updated RIGHT NOW" phase of the comic's release schedule. The break after the Equius-Aradia kiss aside, the hiati you've heard horror stories about didn't start becoming a thing until the end of Act 5.
[this was around page 3000. still true at this page though - C]
Hussie’s sheer productivity at this stage continues to astound. Could you imagine having that much creative energy?
Maybe Hussie just drinks twenty coffees a day.
Anonymous asked: as someone who is Normal about aradia it's an absolute delight to see someone dig into her character. she's so fascinating to me. (also, fun fact, a while ago tumblr voted her the coolest character in all of homestuck. so there's that)
Aradia’s awesome, and I still don’t think her death is going to stick.
Her ghost was perfectly capable of existing without a body, so there's no reason she can’t survive her new body's destruction.
Anonymous asked: feferi hasn't just woken up, she won't be stuck asleep until 3 hours and 14 minutes into the future! timestamps, yo
Consider this the first mark on my otherwise impeccable record.
Anonymous asked: does cat have a troll/kidsona? itd be interesting to see a full 4 player session in art
[No kidsona, yes trollsona, but even a picture of her would spoil stuff from Act 6 😆 - C]
What she said. It’ll be a while until we can meet KATYAA SCRENR.
@mhafanlol2000 asked: Hey! You can just call me Fan. In all honesty I’m just some guy who likes your liveblog. He/him. I’m gonna list some fan aspects, and I want to see what you think they’d represent, and what abilities they’d give Law Dreams Might Shape Flow
Ooh, more fan aspects! These were a lot of fun to puzzle out the last time.
Law would be the aspect of command, instruction and agreement. An example power would be giving someone a simple rule they're compelled to follow, such as 'don't turn around'.
Dreams would be the aspect of ideas, motivation and symbolism. An example power would be the ability to detect people's idle thoughts - the things they're not even aware they're thinking about.
Might would be the aspect of growth, conflict and evolution. An example power would be the ability to temporarily enhance someone's Aspect abilities, at the cost of making those abilities harder to control.
Shape would be the aspect of form, encapsulation and topology. Shapeshifting is the most obvious application of this aspect, but it's appropriate.
Flow would be the aspect of persistence, momentum and continuity. An example power would be the ability to 'continue' something that has recently stopped. For example, if your PC ran out of power, they'd be able to keep it running for a while. The longer it had been previously running, the longer they could keep it running.
@martinkhall asked: I think Bro might have been raised entirely by shonen anime and My Little Pony Friendship is Magical (the version that existed only in the heads of the worst examples of Bronys). And puppets. Puppets were definitely involved in raising Bro. Anonymous asked: "He has no known relationship with any of the other parents, but was definitely getting foreknowledge of Sburb from somewhere. I’m not even sure I want to know what sort of childhood produces Bro Strider." well. i mean. he grew up with Lil Cal didn't he? the clearly haunted puppet from the sburban dreamscape of derse? it was what he dropped to earth with. i feel like that might explain at least a small part of, like, whatever he had going on.
That’s true. I don’t trust that puppet one bit, and we don’t know what it was up to before the start of the session.
I still suspect that the thing’s still just as alive as it was on Derse, and is just choosing to play dead.
Anonymous asked: I imagine you might've already been told this, but when checking out your FAQ I noticed you described PS/PQ/FS as "not exactly canon" and that you're less interested in liveblogging them because one of your favorite parts is watching all the story come together -- without spoiling anything, I find it pertinent to mention that Pesterquest & Friendsim definitely contribute to the wider "canon" even though dubiously canon themselves. Definitely "part of the story" so to speak.
Yeah, we’ll have to see what comes of this. The problem is that I’m still fuzzy on what ‘dubiously canon’ actually means.
Hopefully that will become more clear as I’m actually liveblogging these tie-in materials – which I am planning on doing. Only time will tell how in-depth the liveblog will actually be, though.
@manorinthewoods asked: In my Sundered opinion, Bec Noir is the best character design in Homestuck. I can't think of any other interesting designs at the moment, other than some which don't beat him and are spoilers anyway (like LE's). Which design do you find most interesting, out of the ones you have? ~LOSS (22/9/23)
I definitely agree that BecJack has one of the best designs in the comic. Plus, Scratch is so weirdly intimidating for a cueball-head.
Anonymous asked: My favorite part of PKWU is just how pointy Gamzee's chin is. It's so… Defined.
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iT’s ToO lAtE, ErIdAn! I’vE AlReAdY DePicTeD MySeLf As ThE ChAd, AnD yOu As ThE SoYjAk >:o)
Anonymous asked: i need you to know ag canonically ripped off the sleeves on all of her shirts just to show off the robot arm
I believe it. I don't even need a source; this is just so true to Vriska's character that it's obviously correct.
@bladekindeyewear asked: If you and your ask screener decide that literary/external-media hero title examples without any details or explanation are alright to pass on unless they're too obviously revealing -- and those in and of themselves are usually in heavy dispute by classpect theorists -- I've long been of the opinion that Monkey D. Luffy and Peter Pan are the best possible literary examples of a Page of Breath.
All Pages of Breath must be associated with pirates. No exceptions.
Anonymous asked: unfun fact: the reason rose and jade dont have a lot of pesterlogs with eachother is just because their text colours were kinda eyestrainy together. thats it thats literally the whole reason!! god damn
Hussie: "I don't write Rose/Jade conversations because they’re hard to read."
Also Hussie:
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Anonymous asked: you have officially passed my second favourite flash in literally all of homestuck. it's all so well hinted at beforehand but it still comes to punch you in the gut nonetheless Anonymous asked: My favourite thing in this flash is how the name of the flash isn't John: Rise Up, it's JOHN. RISE UP. it's WV sending a plead to John to not die. My second favourite thing is the way the music remixes Doctor (The theme for LoWaS). Anonymous asked: [S] JOHN. RISE UP. is one of my favorite flashes in all of Homestuck. Savior of the Waking World is some of Toby's best work What are your thoughts on our first taste of god tier? @violetsquare111 asked: So glad you liked Savior of the Waking World! One of my favorites in the comic for sure. It takes a lot of ideas from another of Toby's songs, Penumbra Phantasm, a song that… never actually got finished or officially released. There's still various renditions of it though, and the HS collection links a couple of em. (Some people have speculated that Penumbra Phantasm itself was never supposed to be a Homestuck song, and might end up being used in Deltarune, which would be cool as hell) Anonymous asked: It's crazy to think that just about 12 hours ago John was wearing silly disguises to fool his dad and now he's dying to become a god.
God time!
I do think it was the most emotional flash we’ve had, on the strength of the music alone. Savior of the Waking World goes hard as all hell.
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Honestly, when WV started calling John a hero, and telling him to rise, it did start to give me some mild chills. Like, yeah – we know John’s a hero, but it feels extra special when it’s coming from someone who’s normally so irreverent.
@elkian asked: Welcome back, hope you're feeling better! I am losing it a bit over you IMMEDIATELY understanding how this coin flip sitch works, something about the narrative and reasoning doesn't match my brain so I've reread it multiple times with total understanding out of grasp and watching you dissect it halfway into the page is truly wild (delighted). Also feel like I understand it a lil better with your analysis.
Thank you! This message was actually sent the last time I returned from a pause, so apologies that I’m one hiatus late in answering it.
@royalvorpal asked: I just reread your entire blog in anticipation. Anonymous asked: This is such a good liveblog, I'm rereading it again and you are really letting me relive the pleasant parts of my middle school years. Reading this blog makes me feel like I'm back on the school bus talking to my friend about the newest update. Thank you for doing this 💛 Anonymous asked: That return page didn't have any sound, so misleading! (I jest, nice to see you're back.) ~DJ @manorinthewoods asked: Hahahah, we are BACK! Lovely, I've missed this liveblog. Most in-depth Homestuck liveblog I'm aware of, looking forward to the restart! ~LOSS (29/3/24) @popcornsalty asked: So excited to see you back!!! :D @chaosorchestrator asked: welcome back! It's good to hear that you're planning on getting back into it! I hope things have been going ok for you in the meantime! @necrowyrm asked: HAPPY 4/13 (OR AS THE ENLIGHTENED KNOW IT: 13/4) AND WELCOME BACK!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you for your votes of confidence, and happy 13/4 to you all!
@rippledphysique asked: Just found this blog and devoured it in a few days. I am selfishly wishing you the best in health and life so that it may return one day… @elkian asked: Hey Sally! Just wanted to wish you well on the recovery, the plague is no joke and I hope you've been able to enjoy some kind improvement. And that 2024 will be kinder, as well. Anonymous asked: wishing you the best in your interim, hopefully you can get a better position where you're not prone to burning out! Anonymous asked: Hope you're doing ok!! I miss seeing your cool liveblog on my dash @kittycatttmattt asked: Poor girl… Got killed by the schedule
Thanks for all the well-wishes, as well. Really, it wasn’t the schedule that was the issue – I just had a lot going on in the background last year. That’s all over now, though!
Anonymous asked: yeah, Homestuck's back babeyyyyy - the site was crashing because of traffic and everything @calamitascalliope asked: You coming back from your break resurrected Homestuck's corpse hggfffdd Anonymous asked: i think this actually is the first time homestuck has updated since you started liveblogging lol - homestuck 2 has been inactive assumed abandoned since december 25th 2020. also happy slightly belated blogiversary btw - you've been delighting us with your journey for two years now! @heliotropopause asked: New Homestuck upd8 just dropped. Apparently. Anonymous asked: what are the odds that you start liveblogging again the same exact day that postcanon comes back from the dead? Anonymous asked: crazy news. so literally just today, october 8th 2023, hussie has officially given complete free license to the newly formed "homestuck independent creative union" (HICU) to create content and monetize it with the homestuck brand however they see fit, with zero creative or financial control from any corporations or even hussie themself, though hussie has said they're available for consultation whenever the HICU wants their input. the HICU seems to be made up of people the community largely has respect for, and the person heading all of this up is James Roach, who is one of the most widely respected individual who has been inolved in homestuck "post canon" (ie. after homestuck itself ended). nobody was expecting any of this, it's completely bonkers. hopes are looking pretty high for homestuck compared to where they were merely a day ago.
Throwback to the day I personally resurrected Homestuck.
Has anything come of this since, actually? I haven’t heard anything about this new comic – although I do scroll in the opposite direction any time I see a reference to Homestuck, so I guess it makes sense that I wouldn’t.
@corporalotherbear asked: What’s your favorite Pokémon?
Contrarian, that I am, I’ll instinctively gravitate to Missingno., if only for the nostalgia factor. Gen 1 glitches were my first real experience with pulling back the curtain of a game’s code, and taking a look at what lies beneath.
My favourite official Pokémon are Porygon-Z, Shedinja, Reuniclus and Metagross!
@heliotropopause asked: Breath/Light is an interesting one, because the ‘Mixolydian’ implies a musical theme, and I thought Time was the musical Aspect. Maybe it’s not that simple. They've all got a musical reference in the name- they are called fraymotifs, after all. Anonymous asked: The Fraymotifs are all musical references actually. E.g. Breath/Time is "Ivories in the Fire", the ivories in question being John's piano keys. A fraymotif is a battle theme. Anonymous asked: ivories in the fire is a musical theme, especifically a Rap term used by Snoop Dogg. So yeah it's connected to Dave Anonymous asked: re: fraymotifs: you pointed out "mixolydian", but that's not the only musical term there. feather "cadence", pneumatic "progression", even fray "motif" itself! hell, the building where you buy these things has an emblem with a crossed sword and music note! so i think this might be less a situation of "need to rethink time aspects association with music" and more "fraymotifs have a musical association also" Anonymous asked: if you look a bit closer at those names, (including the one "fraymotif",) you may realize that "mixolydian" isn't the only musical term referenced…. @galaxa-13 asked: You say the breath/Light Fraymotif implies a musical theme, but they all do! Fraymotif is a portmanteau of "fray" (to fight) and "leitmotif" (repeated musical phrase). Each Fraymotif name implies a musical theme.
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Dang it. Yup, they’re all pretty obvious references to music.
I wrote that post the day I was trying to wrangle our family PC into running the Homestuck Collection without lag, so I was a little distracted at the time. Please direct all complaints to Windows XP.
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rappaccini · 2 months
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okay. i've already autopsied tua but a final overview may be in order. i'll do it one more time.
season one was the only good season of umbrella academy. it had issues, but those issues didn't yet compromise the story or the themes. season one had a stylized production, great cast who at that point were still playing their characters instead of themselves, strong story that mostly carried (though there was some filler), and fantastically coherent themes. the cracks in the foundation were always there. but they could have been fixed.
season two was bad, but entertaining enough to hide its flaws. it had a bigger budget, glossier production value, more action, a cool new setting, more Fun Moments, enough momentum from the source material to mostly fill up the season, and the character assassination didn't have time to reach its consequences yet so everyone acting like the fandomified version of themselves worked for the people who were just here for the fun. it also dropped in the summer of 2020, when people were desperate for escapist entertainment, and there was little superhero fare to compete with (and when the protests happening that summer had people wanting to Say Something about civil rights without actually wanting to change anything). the bar was lower, and season 2 cleared it. but season 2's story broke. look back at the actual story, and you'll see it.
season three was bad, and not entertaining enough to hide its flaws. it had some interesting ideas and good moments, but the whole thing was a slog. the pacing was terrible, the character assassination couldn't be denied anymore, and the momentum from the comics ran out and left the writers to their own devices, which revealed they had no plan, no substantive creative backbone, and no understanding of what they were making. season three could have saved the show with a hail mary of tight writing to pick up the slack, but quadrupled down on the problems and guaranteed it was past the point of no return.
season four was terrible. somehow with a reduced episode count it still dragged, every single character has no growth, the basic logic of the story is missing and the continuity is a mess. and ending the story about abuse victims trying to heal on them concluding that they should all just kill themselves makes the story both pointless and rotten. at this point it was a given. you can't recover from two bad seasons back to back. season two shot the show in the gut, season three let it bleed out instead of healing it, and season four kicked its corpse a few times for a couple klaus jokes, then confirmed that its very existence was a mistake. very meta.
so. what were the cracks in the foundation.
the lack of respect for the source material. as soon as they tried a plot that had no connection to the original comics, they were fucked. but even before season four, they were all over the place. in fact they still haven't adapted most of the comics. john perseus, calhoun, deever, dr terminal, the academy at war with each other in the 1960s, the actual purpose of hotel oblivion, the chimpanzees everywhere, the 1980s period setting, clarissa and oscar, the coming of the squid monster, carla the sparrow, grace having her own secret agenda, the actual character of jennifer? just not here. even the raygun gothic aesthetic is watered down and eventually barely even present.
the spinelessness of the creative team. as early as season 2, they were throwing character arcs and themes in the trash to beg the fans to love them. they had no plan and just wanted cheap thrills.
the lack of internal rules. the time travel mechanics don't make sense. viktor's powers just do whatever. lila's powers eventually just do whatever. the central reveal that vanya's medication had been repressing her powers, set up by klaus using drugs to do the same, is undone by season 2's climax revolving around vanya somehow using her powers despite being drugged. the 'marigold' reveal about their powers makes no sense (why does luther get his body back? we don't know.). there are no stakes with no clear world limitations.
the good victim bad victiming. as early as season 1, the show was arguing that harold jenkins is irredeemable for killing his abusive dad. that should've been your first warning that they were going to try to redeem reginald and have the academy basically kill themselves in the end.
the lack of continuity. as early as season 1, the writers forgot number five had a time travel briefcase sitting in the library, or that helen cho's body was in harold's house when he, allison and diego search it. then they forget when luther got disfigured in season 2. then they forgot how the powers work. then they forget literally everything about the story.
the racism. all the characters of color get the worst plotlines in season 1. allison loses her narrative in season 2 and gets it replaced with a civil rights plotline that concludes that 'hey, there's a black president someday!' diego and lila prance through the jim crow south without dealing with segregation as allison is hatecrimed every episode.
the sexism. look back at how all the female characters are treated. look back at how allison's mistreatment of patrick and claire is glossed over, and lila fully gets away with manipulating diego. look at how vanya's 'redemption' is all about finding maternal instincts she never had until season 2. look at how allison's assault of luther is dismissed the way it never would have been if the genders were swapped. look at how sloane is juxtaposed against allison.
the homophobia. the queer characters were either stereotyped or used as glaad award bait. the queerbait of ben and klaus's entire dynamic.
the ableism. in the comics, luther has mobility aids and his disfigurement is treated like a debilitating condition, not a punchline. his eating disorder isn't mocked. vanya's in a wheelchair after she's shot and goes through months of physical therapy and is still never the same. allison is an amputee. diego has one eye and severe ptsd. everyone's mental illness is taken seriously, including and especially klaus's addiction. in the show these elements are downplayed, absent or fuel for quirky moments.
the show is full of filler. the murder mystery plot, the meritech plot, allison following leonard around, the day that was/wasn’t…. even in season 1, there wasn't enough material to make ten episodes. there was never enough for a ten episode run for any season. and yet somehow the one season with the right runtime still drags.
the spectacle. in season 2 they fully lean into it over substance. case in point: the dance sequence.
actually i'll go into that in detail because the dance sequence sums up the whole show and its downfall.
in season one, the pilot's iconic i-think-we're-alone-now dance sequence was an emotional moment that symbolized how all the characters feel isolated and disconnected from each other, but are secretly interconnected and far more in sync than they realize. the song was catchy, but "i think we're alone now" is literally a commentary on the story it's playing over: now that the academy's abuser is dead, they can finally unwind and love each other, and they can fix their problems by literally "running as fast as they can, holding onto one another's hands." -- and how does the season end? by them doing just that.
in season two, allison, klaus and vanya's salon dance is meaningless because vanya has no clue who these people are, klaus has never given a shit about vanya before (watch season one. he doesn't care.), and allison should hate her at this point in the story. it's just there for fun... but if you swapped vanya with ben it would work as a joyful reunion between these three people. the concept of the dance is fine, but the decision to make it a fanservice moment throws it off.
in season three, the dance sequence comes out of nowhere as a ~wacky random fun moment~ to call back to the first season. the footloose song has nothing to do with the story, it's just fun and catchy. there is no substance to the spectacle anymore. it's just dumb fun.
and season four ends in 'i think we're alone now' for no reason other than to ask the viewer to remember when the show was good. no fun, just dumb.
... let's look back at the themes season one sets up.
the road to recovery takes a very long time, and you will fall off it and have to climb back on.
corporations don’t have your back. they’re soulless and they want to suck the life out of you.
abuse does not make nice people. abuse does not make happy people. there are no good victims or bad victims. (except leonard, i guess.)
it’s difficult to tell where programming stops and free will starts; toxic behavior begets toxic behavior, and we have to own up to it, stop it, and resolve to be better.
redemption is possible. the bad things you did in the past don’t define your future.
you're better together than apart. 
time. changes. everything. it isn’t too late to have the life and the love you wanted. it isn’t too late to realize your talents, or become a better person, or free yourself from a bad situation. it isn’t too late to get together, or to make up or to change your mind. there are no lost causes. the world is worth saving. your enemies are worth showing mercy to. your relationships and friendships and broken families can be salvaged and reshaped into something new and better.
things are fucked, but if we give it everything we have, we can save it, and it’s worth taking up that fight, because nothing is set in stone.
fuck it, be happy. 
remember those?
i'm gonna get into it character by character:
luther.
his entire plotline was meant to be about realizing he was abused, disavowing his abuser and finding his confidence to become the leader he never got to be and go after the love he lost with allison and make a family with her and claire. that was his starting point.
and the fandom hated him rabidly. they said he was just as bad as his father, insisted that he had no redeemable qualities, made fun of his body and his traumas, took the situation with vanya and removed all the moral grays to call him evil over it, and insisted that he was Somehow Abusing Allison.
in season 2, luther has conveniently disowned and confronted reginald offscreen before the plot starts.
he immediately apologizes to vanya, who is an amnesiac and can't actually hold him accountable for hurting her, and the situation is never mentioned again.
his body dysmorphia is played for laughs.
his intelligence and leadership qualities are gone and he's just a bumbling idiot. remember when luther was an astronaut who effectively kept up a faulty space station for four years on his own? could you believe this dumbass was that guy?
he's a punching bag for the fans who hated him.
and season 3 seals the deal. he's still an idiot, he's still hideous.
his romance with allison is destroyed as offensively as possible to reassure the fans who hated alluther.
his romance with sloane is a clumsy attempt to keep the payoff he and allison should have had into the story as they're placating the fans who hate them.
and in season 4, he's... a stripper. he never finds a way to love his body, he just conveniently doesn't have it anymore, and he's still treated like a joke for it.
he never meaningfully takes command of the academy, he just stops trying to.
the wife season 3 insists he loves so much is gone and he doesn't give a shit.
he never even confronts allison for assaulting him, or reconciles with her and has a significant relationship with claire.
he decides to just die.
his entire character trajectory was aborted after only one season. he spent 75% of the runtime with nothing to do, because the fandom hated him and the writers were too cowardly to follow through with his character.
diego.
his entire plotline was meant to be about letting go of his aggression issues by finding his place in the family, reforming his rivalry with luther into a deep friendship based on mutual support and unpacking his 30 year history with vanya in order to finally be happy and in love with her after facilitating her redemption.
and his character's arc is dependent on others....
so in season 2 when luther's arc was canned, so was diego's journey towards letting go of his ego and finding a way to support luther after spending his whole life being pitting against him.
in season 2, when allison's arc was canned, diego ended up with the commission / jfk assassination plot that was never meant to be his. his entire dynamic with number five was hers.
in season 2, because klaus took his vietnam plot in season 1, diego doesn't have one anymore, so there's no way to meaningfully unpack how he feels like his only purpose is violence. instead, his anger issues are totally ignored.
and in season 2, when vanya was split into elliot-page-playing-himself and lila, the romance went out the window too. yes, diego falls in love with lila, but he barely knows her, and all she's done is manipulate, drug, kidnap and hurt him and the academy... yet all that bad behavior is totally ignored in the Show About Abuse And Trauma, because they have chemistry. there's no deep, complex history between them that could have anchored the relationship. the redemption arc itself is rushed and undeserved.
oh, also, he doesn't feel upset about eudora anymore. never mentions how he got her killed, or that he loved her.
then in season 3, diego has nowhere to go but deeper into his romance arc. he has no tension with luther to resolve (and with the show assassinating alluther, there's no 'we both love our girlfriends and want to make it home to tell them that, so let's get over our bullshit and help each other get there' revelation like in the comics). his relationship with lila gets even weirder, with her... deciding to babytrap him, getting a kid killed in the process, and it being framed as quirky and hot. and no eudora again.
and in season 4, diego is a family man who doesn't give a shit when his kids are wiped from existence, whose marriage is about to implode. who decides to just die.
there's just... nothing. he's just himbo #2.
allison.
her entire plotline was meant to be about realizing how culpable she is in the abuse of her family, unlearning those manipulative tendencies and figuring out how to exist authentically, making amends with the people she hurt-- especially vanya and her ex-husband and daughter-- and restarting her life with someone she can love: luther.
allison isn't formally character assassinated until season 3, but she was wrong from the start.
because in season 1, they had her be already past all those things in the pilot episode because they're too sexist to let women be messy. allison is conveniently totally in control of her behavior and has already decided not to use her rumor anymore. she already accepts responsibility for hurting her ex and daughter.
and the writers refused to let her and vanya be angry at each other because ~we don't believe in girl hate~. leading to allison forgiving her for slitting her throat and leaving her to die.
in season 2, the writers wouldn't give her the commission plotline from the comics. allison was the protagonist of the dallas arc, who had a complex story about being willing to alienate her loved ones in order to save them, being ruthless enough to belong at the commission, making deals with the devil to get her powers back and save her the academy.... and unknowingly creating a paradox where she is responsible for the traumatizing incident of watching someone be killed when she was a girl.
instead, allison is saddled with a c-plot about how you have to be nice when you protest, and how fighting back violently against the racist who tried to literally hatecrime you yesterday makes you just as bad as him. rewatch that scene. look at how it’s framed. that’s the takeaway.
and throughout allison's time in dallas, none of the academy check in with her on how she's doing. no one cares. even when she was attacked at a protest they all know she was at, no one asks her if she's okay.
instead of showcasing allison's ruthlessness and dedication to her family, we meet her having conveniently moved on after her daughter was killed, happily settled into dallas with a new relationship, and having given up on ever finding a way home.
instead of showing allison learn to adapt to life without her rumor, we meet her having already figured out how to get a job, make friends, and have a relationship without it. she doesn’t even have to find the courage to join the activists because she did already.
instead of allison learning how to live without a physical voice, she can just talk again. her power's just... back.
instead of allison being rightfully furious at vanya for disabling her, depowering her, stranding her alone in the jim crow south for years, and killing her child... she instantly forgives her. dance party! no girl hate here!
her romance with luther is intact, but the writers know you hate it, so they're trying to please you by giving her a romance with a man who she doesn't trust with any information about her, who doesn't trust her, and who allison doesn't hesitate to abandon five days after luther shows up. but hey they have chemistry, so they were Truly In Love, apparently. no seriously, the raymond romance is bad.
season 3 tries to do the heavy lifting with the messier aspects of allison, but this happens too late, and it mostly functions as a way to assassinate her character to turn her into an angry black woman stereotype so they can kill her romance with luther as meanly as possible, and set sloane up to take her place.
she suddenly cares that her daughter is dead and that viktor technically killed her after an entire season of not caring. and her decision to alienate the academy to save her rings false because she spent two years not caring. why now.
her romance with luther implodes when the writers decide to just do what the fandom wants and make it Toxic All Along, after two seasons of framing it in the most positive light possible. and allison sits front row at his wedding to a woman he barely knows, smiling through it like that wasn't supposed to be her, or like she didn't just assault him.
because viktor and allison have had such an artificially nice relationship, there's no payoff to them learning to love each other again, like viktor encouraging the group to sympathize with allison afterher betrayal.
the effect of this is that at the end of season 3, allison has regressed into the person she was before season 1, but do you even want to see her get better or get along with the academy after she tried to assault luther, killed viktor's stepson, and sold everyone down the river to live in a fantasy world?
good news! all that doesn't matter in season 4! luther and viktor never confront allison for doing that to them. the whole family's over her betraying them. raymond? oh, he's just gone. yeah, he left between seasons. we won't even unpack the implications, or that allison's right back to being a divorcee whose husband abandoned her after learning what she did with her rumor, trying to live without that power. oh and don't worry, she isn't dependent on her power anymore. yeah, we just solved that offscreen again.
claire's here, but is there even a point.
allison and klaus's relationship is intact, but because the show won't seriously examine klaus's addiction, we can't discuss how they enable each other, or how allison's manipulative tendencies or klaus's flightiness and addiction might be affecting claire. no more intergenerational trauma discussion here.
allison has nothing to do because slowly learning how to admit how much harm she inflicted on her loved ones, live without her power, and earn vanya/viktor's trust back was her arc and it's... all over the fucking place.
then, she decides to just die.
klaus.
his entire plotline was meant to be about realizing how much damage his addiction has done to himself and his family, getting clean and conquering the crippling fear of his power that made him an addict in the first place.
then in season 2, he's clean offscreen. no exploration of klaus trying to stay on the wagon for the first time in decades. we're just three years into him being totally fine sober. no complications.
and his relapse is played for laughs instead of treated like a devastating moment.
in season 2, his grief over dave is glossed over. yes, we see dave for five minutes, which is more than the three minutes he got in season 1, but klaus is Moved On Already. no discussion of what this relationship meant to him (... or how ben was affected, being the third wheel). no rumination. just a quick 'here's dave to shut the fans up' and on we go.
in season 2, klaus's excitement about exploring his powers' potential is gone already. yeah, he figured them out offscreen.
his cult plotline replaces his comics story of being a clubkeeper in vietnam and becoming a father (yes, klaus has a baby in vietnam), and the entire plotline is a mean-spirited metanarrative about how dumb the writers think his fangirls are. like. fucking look at the narrative. they're making fun of you.
and yet there are no serious consequences to the implications of klaus immediately turning into his dad the second he gets a little power. he isolated a bunch of people from the outside world, derailed their lives, tattooed them, got them hooked on the idea that The End Is Nigh and Only He Can Save Them, got them to have sex with him, and only stopped manipulating them because he was bored. not even because he realized it was wrong.
his relationship with ben is queerbaited to hell, and has no resolution.
he spends the entire season deliberately keeping ben isolated from the rest of the academy, and this is never meaningfully examined. klaus is an absolute bastard in season 2, and the writers don't acknowledge it.
by season 3, he's just a joke machine and a flamboyant stereotype. he never has a substantive interaction with sparrow ben, or struggles with his sobriety or his addiction in a way that takes it seriously. even his meeting with his mother feels empty.
and in season 4, the mothers of agony plotline from the comics is so disjointed that it's meaningless. in the comics, this is his lowest low, that ben helps him come back from.
any depth to the implications of his immortality is gone. it's just funny that he's a germophobe.
(... immortality? how'd he get killed in the first season apocalypse timeline then. no answer? okay.)
any potential in his relationship with allison and claire is gone.
like luther, his crucial development is skipped over and he spends half the season wandering in circles making jokes.
and he decides to just die.
five.
his entire plotline was meant to be about learning to trust the academy and work within them as a team member rather than running off and doing his own thing. and about slowly learning to be a person instead of a vehicle for the mission.
in season 2, he inexplicably lets the commission go and trusts they're Good Now thanks to new management, after making it clear in season 1 that he can't ever trust them.
in season 2, his antipathy with vanya is transferred to lila. he never accepts responsibility for his role in leading to her isolation.
in season 2, instead of trying to get the family together, he's still working on his own.
in season 3, instead of riding hard for viktor and sympathizing with him, he calmly tells him he'll put him down if he ever steps out of line again and ignores him the rest of the time.
for three straight seasons, he's the plot driver. but three seasons in with no other characters having a coherent arc, the plot driver became all he was. he couldn't slow down or have an emotional moment because he's the only thing moving things forward and all the people who can bring out those emotions are so ooc that it won't work.
then in season 4... oh boy.
he's not the plot driver anymore because there's no plot.
five slowly trying to embrace domesticity could have been interesting... but boy does it fall flat.
five created the commission! no, we won't discuss the nature of him being responsible for his own abuse, or perpetuating the cycle that led to the apocalypse and the academy's misery.
five falls in love... with his brother's wife, who he hates, who hates him because he hog-tied and tortured her parents to death in front of her when she was a little girl. okay.
then he decides to just die.
ben
his entire presence in the story was building to a reveal that he's only staying with klaus because he's in love with him.
in season 2 they queerbait that connection for ten episodes by framing him as a literally possessive boyfriend, give him a 'love interest' in jill that makes no sense, kill him off in a scene that makes no sense because that's not how their powers work, and have the vaguest 'by the way he was in love with you' reveal via vanya that feels like an afterthought.
klaus keeps ben from talking to anyone in the academy for the whole season for no reason. he never mentions why, ben never gets mad at him. there are no emotional consequences. ben spent an entire season able to talk to the academy and inform the world and nothing ever comes of this.
in season 3, ben's a totally different character. none of the umbrella academy have emotional reactions to seeing him alive.
not even klaus.
and he feels nothing for them.
he also feels nothing for the sparrows, who drop like flies around him without him giving a shit.
in season 4 he's a completely different character again.
no interest in reuniting with his sparrow academy mates, or the umbrella academy.
he's a crypto bro for some reason.
the south korea subway ending stinger? idk where that went.
the show does use the comics' likely endgame of ben being the portal through which the final antagonist arrives. but they do it in such a strange, meaningless way.
the romance with jennifer comes out of nowhere and makes no sense. it's unclear why he'd want to become a blob with her. there's no emotion anchoring this plot.
also, jennifer was a large, dark-skinned black woman in the comics and... isn't here. (it's also unclear if jennifer was romantically involved with ben in the comics, or if she might have been one of the kid's mothers. so uh. we'll see how that ends up.)
his tentacles come out of his back sometimes. huh?
the reveal that he was killed by their father and they were all brainwashed makes no sense. especially given that allison has brainwashing powers that are never used to cover this up.
there's never a meaningful payoff for ben as a character.
and vanya/viktor…
to start, seasons 1-2 will call her vanya because that's how the character was written, performed and received. seasons 3-4 will refer to him as viktor. that's why the name/pronouns switch back and forth in this post. those are two different characters.
alright i'm gonna say it: the show basically killed off vanya at the start of s2 and split her into two characters: lila, who's the white violin from the comics-- and has vanya's style, punk musicianship, romance with diego, mutual hate with five, alliance with the commission, status as the most powerful character, and role as the antagonist who needs a redemption arc that rejoins her with the family-- …. and the character that would become viktor, who's just elliot page playing a flattened version of himself for token queer points.
the show literally got rid of its main character one season in, sped past all the conflict with the academy to the part where they're all besties again, and gave all the interesting shit to an oc. and they did it because they cared more about profiting off of elliot page's queerness than trusting him to do his job as a professional actor, and supporting that performance in the face of a fandom that only saw him for his sexuality/gender identity.
season 2 skips over vanya learning to use her power and lose her fear of it. she's just good at it now. also, the character will never use the violin to channel her powers again, and will never again acknowledge her love of music, because elliot page didn't like playing the violin. like, sir. what are you doing playing a character called 'the white violin' then.
season 2 skips over her rage and hatred of the academy. instead of being afraid of them, avoiding them, and being hostile whenever they interact, she's instantly cool with them, dismisses their years of mistreatment and dismissal, and is part of the family with no friction despite trying to kill them, blowing up the world, and killing their niece.
season 2 totally resets her personality. amnesia! she's nice again! we know you hated her when she was angry, so don't worry about that!
season 2 gives her a romance with someone who she has chemistry with, but who fundamentally doesn't understand her. the entire relationship is just fanservice. remember the lesbian vanya truthers who thought elliot page could only play characters who were lesbians because he identified as a lesbian at the time? remember their "give vanya a girlfriend" whining? this entire plotline was for them.
season 2 hands the moment where the academy understands vanya and empathizes with her in a moment of superpower meltdown.... to harlan.
in season 3, diet elliot page just becomes overt. it's great that page's transition was incorporated into the show at his request, and at this point the damage to the character's so massive that at least they're being honest about the character just being a different entity from vanya entirely. like, fuck it. you already gave all of vanya's character to the oc. might as well.
though it's great that the transition is quickly incorporated into the story, it happens so quickly that a very easy plotline for viktor in s3 is just rushed past. he has so little to do, the transition is such an obvious fix, and they just... don't do it.
because viktor magically has full control of his powers, there's no more growth from him. and at this point his powers just do whatever. who even knows what his abilities are. the show sure doesn't.
viktor is a beloved member of the academy with no friction whatsoever, even though they're trapped in an alternate dimension because of him
allison's anger at him is demonized instead of deconstructed.
the harlan plotline certainly exists. very funny that the show casually reveals that vissy ruined sissy's life and never goes into the emotional consequences of this.
in season 4... yeah this character has nothing to do. he never expresses anger at allison over killing his stepson. his powers are even more vague. he's in canada for some reason, just to complete the transformation into elliot page.
then he decides to just die.
the main character of the story was essentially killed off one season in. the whole thing became adrift because without vanya, there's no main character anymore. no central antagonist with history with the academy, no emotional weight to their connection, no payoff to a slow redemption arc that unfolds over multiple seasons. just shenanigans.
lila
took over the vanya storyline in season 2.
lila is vanya from the comics.
vanya's hatred of the umbrella academy and antagonism towards them? it's now lila's.
vanya's alliance with the commission to destroy the world? nope. lila's the commission's ally now.
vanya's status as the most powerful character? now it's lila.
vanya and five's mutual hate? now belongs to lila and five. even the fiveya vibe rubberbanded into That in season 4.
vanya's slow redemption from a hateful villain of the academy into one of its most crucial members is handed to lila. who barely knows these people, has only ever hurt them, and yet is treated with more empathy with them after three days than vanya received in thirty years.
vanya being set up as the character who'll save the umbrellas from the sparrows? nope, that's lila now.
vanya's romance with diego? that's lila's now. no, it doesn't make sense but they have chemistry.
then in season 3... oh god. instead of unpacking lila's severe mommy issues from being abused by the handler, she's just over them now.
the academy immediately trust and embrace her even though all she's ever done is hurt them.
and for some reason, this character who's shown no maternal instincts randomly decides she wants to be a mom because her one night stand with diego, who she knew for a few days, got her pregnant.
and she tries to convince him a little white boy is their kid to test if he'll be a good father and doesn't give a shit when that child turns to dust. what are we doing here.
then in season 4, their romance doesn't even mean anything. neither does their family. they're already on the verge of a divorce. which... yeah, follows, given what their romance actually consisted of.
then she hooks up with number five, who killed her family in front of her when she was a girl. what.
.... and then we die.
the whole thing came apart in season 2. you just didn't notice yet.
and here's where i get cunty and set aside my belief that writers have an inherent responsibility to never kowtow to their fans no matter what, because the fandom is a big part of how things went wrong, and someone has to talk about it.
the umbrella academy begun as a complex metaphor for recovering from abuse, using superheroes in a gothic-adjacent setting. every single character's power is allegorical of an attribute one may take on from living in an abusive home. (and part of the missed potential in lila is the failure to fit her into that metaphor too). and the metaphor is literally in the name: the umbrella academy.
it's an academy. not a family. the characters are only adoptive siblings because reginald needed a legal way to bind them to him. they grew up in a twisted boarding school, which they explain again and again, and call each other siblings out of habit, which they also explain. and they are choosing as adults to overcome the trauma that pitted them against each other to become a found family.
... i'm gonna say it. the pseudoincest is a vital part of the story, the same way it is in the comics. that was how they were going to love each other. their ability to love each other was the sign that the brainwashing failed, and the found family was, like actual found families, going to involve some of those people pairing off romantically. allison and luther. ben and klaus. vanya and diego-or-five. that was the story.
the umbrella academy is both a giant metaphor for healing from a dysfunctional family, and for finding a queer found family (... it's the umbrella academy. that's the part of the allegory that's still unfulfilled. everyone in this story is queercoded, not just klaus and vanya/viktor. the show massively dropped the ball in not exploring this deeper.) and the fandom screamed, whined and harassed their way into having it scribbled out of the story, and the writers were cowardly enough to do it for you. if you're wondering why they kept trying to sneak alluther in through the back in season 2, still had a harcest couple get married in season 3, and pivoted to shipping lila so hard, that's why. it's the most important thing about the story, and you hated it. is it any shock that the story ends with all their relationships stunted, and no love between them.
remember all those themes from season 1? remember how you guys hated them? remember how you concluded that luther is an irredeemable monster, and klaus is an innocent little baby, and vanya is somehow both and neither? remember how you were completely uninterested in watching everyone redeem themselves, and wanted to skip to the Fun Sibling Moments? remember how you immediately dismissed half the characters as lost causes, and directly demanded that the writers not let the characters love each other? congrats, the writers were listening!
the umbrella academy comic is meant for adults. the show was made for a wider audience and the writers were totally unprepared for the fandom of antifan teens they got. and they overhauled the show to make it what that fandom wanted. more fun, less substance. making luther a bumbling idiot and sidestepping his entire arc. making diego a himbo. skipping allison's complexities until it's time to demonize her for them. making klaus into the cartoon version of himself. making vanya into diet elliot page and handing all her storylines to a new character. dismantling the show's core tone to make it a fanservice carnival. creating vissy, allmond and dielila in the first place, and coining the ship names before the fandom even chose them. making alluther toxic all along, and swapping her out with a white-passing replacement. it was all for you.
then when they ended the show, they flipped off the fandom on the way out. of course it was going to end like that. you spent five years playing oppression olympics, making bigotry self-righteous, and declaring you didn't want a transformative ending for these characters. the writers gave the fandom the hopeless, nihilistic, meandering, substanceless, nonsensical ending it was demanding all along.
so. where do we go from here.
first of all, to ao3, for those of you who haven't moved on.
next, to the comics. assuming way ever wants to finish them, now that he's received an overwhelming message that the audience for his story hates it and prefers the bastardized versions of his characters. i get the sense he'll probably leave it unfinished. i don't blame him.
then... the umbrella academy was a massive success. it's going to get a reboot someday. in 10-15 years, we're gonna get it back. my hope is that
whoever has that responsibility has a clear vision and the talent to pull it off, the backbone to stick with it, and more loyalty to the source material. no subverting expectations for the hell of it. no kowtowing to antifandom. make a plan and stick to it and have confidence in it. hopefully, the next showrunner won't be a terrible person.
the next version of tua will be mature. so the adults who will watch will hopefully be old enough to understand what they're seeing. this truly isn't a show for kids. the fandom has proven that. let's not do it again.
that it'll be animated. the incredible visual aesthetic of the show and its edgier elements could never have been captured in live-action. and now that adult animation's starting to arrive, including on netflix, maybe in a decade or two we'll finally get the umbrella academy fully realized.
anyway. that's my piece.
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paragonrobits · 4 months
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There’s a phrase I like to use when people question why, in fantasy series, people don’t just take the most efficient and ruthless option. I say, “This isn’t Game of Thrones.” Bluntly put, apart from having a very unsatisfying ending to its character arcs due to a realistic but very abrupt swing from the character arcs it had been building up (and in one notable case, a character arc that WAS built up the whole time, but not in a way people anticipated), Game of Thrones is most notorious for a very realpolitick approach to how the characters make their decisions.
Efficiency, immediate needs and ruthlessness regardless of personal qualms comes up a lot in what people seem to have taken from that show’s success, and you see a LOT of people thinking that pragmatic ruthlessness is the most basic and standard solution to any story’s problems, regardless of whether or not its consistent with a story’s given themes and morals.
The Avatar setting is NOT one of those. In this setting, spirituality is vitally important; the reason WHY things are done, as well as HOW they done, are just as important as the actual end result, if not more.
So, one thing I see a LOT in fandom circles (usually in bad takes floating around and being mocked by the circles I am adjacent to, or ideas popular among Big Name Fans who are kind of sheltered from the actual themes of the show itself and have distanced themselves from what the show is actually like in favor of what is functionally a completely original series that appeals to their own preferences) comes down to discussions arguing that AtLA would be better if Aang just took down every one he fought and killed them all without hesitation; there is a popular implication among these ideas that Aang is considered weak to them BECAUSE he doesn't want to kill. Because killing is anathema to his people, because the deliberate taking of life is a HUGE deal to both the Air Nomads and the real life religions that they are based on.
These takes conclude that none of that matters; that his morals and compunctions should just be immediately tossed aside in order to achieve his goals. There's usually something like 'who cares about spirituality when the world is so bad' or the ends justifying the means. And the thing is that we DO see characters in AtLA saying that, quite often. Characters who don't care about the spiritual consequences of their actions, who do whatever it takes to accomplish their goals.
They're the villains.
In AtLA, ruthlessness, pragmatism and 'whatever it takes to get what I want' is SPECIFICALLY and EXCLUSIVELY associated with the antagonists. General Fong; Azula, Ozai, the entirety of the Fire Nation... one thing they all have in common, besides opposing Aang, is that they're not just willing to be ruthless, they have no interest in achieving their goals or really doing anything at all without being ruthless and amoral about it. There's a common point in the narrative here, and I think the episode the Avatar State neatly sums it up through its story, as we are presented with Fong, who is seemingly an ally, demanding that they ignore the spiritual demands in favor of just weaponizing a force of nature no one involved really understands.
His emphasis on the people dying in the meantime does make for a potent image, but he is ultimately and frequently established as a ruthless jackass who cares more about trying to weaponize the Avatar State (and mere mortals do not get to have a say in its decisions or what the World Spirit, in its fullest power, wants to do). Apart from this indicating a more or less full departure from a strict moral binary within the series, there's also an emphasis on Katara growing increasingly uncomfortable with the non-spiritual plan they're taking, to the point that she won't have anything to do with it, and she is very much the show's heart. If she disapproves of something with plot relevance, its usually a bad sign.
So this whole THING you have with people going 'everything would be better if Aang killed everyone immediately except for the secret Good Guys even though he has absolutely no way of knowing them out of context'... its genuinely really bewildering and I think its kind of proof of people not engaging with the show's themes or ethics, but assuming that ruthlessness and efficiency are the default way of handling everything. AtLA is not subtle about this and if you think that the show at any point suggests that this is a likely outcome, I don't think you're really engaging with it, or you're misunderstanding the context (such as the Ocean Spirit rampaging being framed as a last second moment of hope; I think people conflate its destruction as generally a Cool Thing, rather than the world itself protecting a dying culture from near certain destruction as the moon itself is... well, dead.)
(There's also a protagonist-centered morality in that they seem to want their characters to BE rather amoral, being all about love and acceptance and tolerance but also brutally and remorselessly kill everyone in their way without hesitation, and the people making these statements don't see any kind of logical flaw. I dunno but that's WEIRD to me.)
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antianakin · 1 year
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Bringing back Maul was just as bad for what Maul's character originally represented and the negative impact it had on Obi-Wan's characterization as bringing back Palpatine was for what Palpatine represented and the resolution his death brought to Anakin's story.
Maul is the beginning of the end, he is CURRENTLY defeatable, but he can still kill a Jedi, he still kills Qui-Gon because he represents what the darkness can become and what we all know that it WILL ultimately become. He is a harbinger of death. Bringing him back takes away ALL OF THAT. He's no longer connected to Palpatine as the first indication of that oncoming darkness and Palpatine's reach, he's just... flitting around sort-of randomly with no actual purpose or meaning to the narrative around him.
And Maul represents the darkness that Obi-Wan PERSONALLY overcomes. That fear of loss, the fear of moving beyond his teacher, of being forced to grow up early and take on a responsibility you aren't sure you're ready to bear, the anger at the unfairness of it all. Obi-Wan faces it all and overcomes it. It's redundant to show that struggle to us again. And again. And again. And again. Unless the character has something that causes him to completely fail and fall to darkness, I don't need to see him overcome it twice within the same narrative. I already know this about the character. Yes, realistically, people have to keep overcoming the flaw and sometimes they struggle with it more than others, but this is a narrative, it's a fable, I only NEED to be told this character trait once to understand that it's still true.
It also removes a lot of the earned confidence Obi-Wan has later on. Obi-Wan is a Sith Killer, the ONLY Sith Killer in the Order for 13 years and the first in 1000 years. When Obi-Wan faces Dooku with a certain level of confidence, we're supposed to remember that Obi-Wan has earned that confidence in himself. When he goes up against Anakin in the finale, we're supposed to remember that he's killed a Sith before. We're supposed to remember that he's ALREADY OVERCOME HIS OWN FEAR OF LOSS, he already learned that lesson, and that is what will grant him a victory against Anakin in this moment. Instead, Obi-Wan ends up looking like a joke because that Sith he thought he killed just keeps coming back like a bad penny. Why should anyone in-universe or out of it believe Obi-Wan has even a chance against Anakin or Dooku when we know that the Sith he thought he killed is still alive out there?
Bringing back Palpatine is pretty uniformly recognized as a stupid, lazy decision on the part of the filmmakers for the sequel trilogy. No one wanted him back and it truly adds nothing to the story for him to still be alive. What it DOES do is fuck up the entire resolution of Anakin's storyline. Palpatine represents Anakin's demons, his temptations, his weakness and selfishness. When he kills Palpatine, he's not just killing a villain, he's literally supposed to be overcoming that selfishness, rejecting the temptation to do the easy thing, just for a moment. Bringing Palpatine back means that those demons weren't really vanquished, the entire point of overcoming them visually is now gone. The symbolism is lost by saying he wasn't actually dead and he's still around. Palpatine can't just stop representing those things in order to be in the sequel trilogy, that's not how it works.
And it's the same for Maul. Neither character should've been revived because what their deaths represent for the characters who kill them is too important to the narrative's themes to undo out of pure laziness.
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pestorik · 4 months
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I love your AU so much, it's so cute!
I need to know what kinds of adventures Adeuce gets up to with their caterpillar. The name Absolem comes to mind (or perhaps Alistair?) just because that's what the caterpillar from Tim Burton's Alice is named, if you're wanting to keep with that theme.
I'd love to see what Octavinelle looks like in your AU (they're my favorites!!!) but take your time, and make it how you want it to be. You're doing wonderful work!
im shocked i actually forgot about there being a caterpillar in alice in wonderland. absolem sounds a bit too serious imo, i was imaging a cutesy name to match his appearance lol. im considering "fozzy" like fozzy the bear.
putting this under the cut for those who want to read my very sane ramblings
I imagine A+D adventures would be very much in the vein of the original AT episodes with every one having a new storyline and introducing new characters, and then later episodes having those characters come back and revealing more backstory/becoming more involved in the overall plot (ie magic man, slime princess, etc). and then ofc a more "core" cast with more frequently occurring characters like heartslabyul and maybe some other first years. It would definitely be ace and deuce-centric with them driving most of the interactions and then gradually having more and more episodes that arent just about them.
in my head riddle introduction goes like this: A+D are native to the garden kingdom and are doing their regular stupid shit. that day it just happens to be doing parkour in the royal gardens. riddle comes along and is ofc furious and being the overreactive little freak that he is, banishes them from the kingdom. that's how they meet cater, who introduces them to trey, and they eventually kick riddles ass and its revealed he has a very controlling mother who influences his behavior. riddle realizes the error of his ways and they all team up and usurp her. riddle takes over the kingdom and is now mostly an ally.
trust me i love riddle and a lot of other characters but almost everyone would start out as being a cartoon villain bc that's just the nature of AT. leona is a prince but has no real political power so spends his days bullying civilians. epel has been enslaved by an evil witch (vil) and needs the help of A+D to beat him up, but after vil's defeat epel understands him better and becomes his apprentice by choice. jack the wolf seems hostile at first but they learn he is actually a human who has been cursed and he spends like the entire series trying to break the curse and you only get to see him human in the very last episode lol. everyone will be a silly character with silly problems but overall still sympathetic and relatable. it will have some sad and heartfelt moments but mostly remain lighthearted (just like AT). these are cartoony, oversimplified representations of canon twst, not meant to be realistic takes or a deep dive into mental illness.
i'll be working on octavinelle once i finish savanclaw (they will all be in order) but azul is going to be the octopus wizard and he has 2 evil henchmen. they run a successful seafood restaurant as a front for their magical crime ring. or maybe A+D defeat them and convince them to go into the food business instead of organized crime and they find out they are really good at it lol
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comicaurora · 11 months
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I watched Castlevania: Nocturne the otger day and liked it a lot less than you seemed to, so I want to hear a more detailed opinion if you have one. Am I in the wrong to think it was more shounen and less "deep" in some way?
I'd say it's definitely more shounen. Introducing the "Richter can't do magic because unresolved trauma" thing right from the jump meant a Believing In Yourself powerup was pretty much inevitable, but I liked the execution of that scene enough that I didn't mind much.
It doesn't quite have the backbone of the original Castlevania, which was grounded so strongly in Dracula's apocalyptic grief - a motivation the audience is directed to find deeply understandable from minute one - that it gave the characters a solid thematic core to play off of. This let the writing stay pretty tight by letting Trevor serve as a foiling mirror for Dracula in their mutual disgust with the failures of human kindness, Sypha for Lisa in their altruistic use of their knowledge and their vilification for "witchcraft", and Alucard in the middle torn between worlds.
Nocturne is more loose and character-driven, but it still has a core theme - the argument over "the natural order" and how that plays into a fear of change from those currently on top. However, Richter doesn't really have a horse in that race, since his motivation starts and ends at Kill Vampires while everyone around him is more complex, trying to overthrow the aristocracy and free the enslaved and such. I think this makes Richter feel a little less important than Trevor was, narratively, because he sort of stands apart from the core philosophical debate at play. It took me a few episodes to get what his deal was and start caring about his self-actualization, and I think he's definitely got further to go. Possibly Alucard's presence in season 2 will give him more to play off of.
I think Nocturne has several independently interesting villains instead of one really good villain, which is a complaint I also saw about Castlevania season 4 - I liked Death just fine, but he really didn't work for everyone, and the secondary villains like Saint Germaine were much more interesting and complex. Nocturne does, however, pull off something Castlevania didn't as much, which is most of the characters acting on their own internal consistent motivation without cleanly falling into the "good guy" or "bad guy" box, causing them to slide into and out of conflicts and alliances depending on the circumstances.
I feel like Bathory is kind of a weak core villain with almost no human-level motivations or ideas beyond General Villainy, and the extent of her development being a darkest hour shonen villain powerup/frieza transformation doesn't help much, which is why I'm kind of holding out hope that they just bite the bullet and bring back Dracula. He's the nemesis from the Castlevania games, and while they gave him and Lisa a happy ending in Castlevania season 4, I don't think they need to keep him on the bench forever. It's been 300 years, Lisa is almost certainly long dead again and Dracula doesn't need to be full Mad With Vengeance Burn Down The World to still be a credible problem in need of a little Belmonting.
I had fun with season 1 of Nocturne with the understanding that the first four-episode "season" of Castlevania wasn't representative of the final shape of the story either. Sypha's character, for instance, was very flat before she and the gang went on their season 2 bonding adventure, not much more than some banter and infodumps. I think Nocturne did solid setup of the cast and the theme they'll be unpacking, and it has lots of room to explore these characters in interesting ways once they energy-ball-tennis Bathory out of the way first.
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sicktember · 4 months
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2024 FAQs
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(Since tumblr mobile isn't exactly known for its reliability regarding links at the top of the blog...) We made an updated text post of the event's FAQs. There have been no major changes. We just wanted a text post that reflected the Sicktember 2024 event information.
Sicktember 2023-2021 Past Prompts Text Post [Link]
* What is Sicktember?
-Sicktember is a fan-run,  September-long hurt/comfort prompt event focused on sick characters and their caregivers.
* What fandoms can participate?
- Every fandom is welcome to participate, including Original Characters and Original Works!
* When does Sicktember begin?
-The idea is to have a prompt a day for the entire month of September, but that’s more of a guideline than an actual rule.
* Do I have to write all 30 prompts in order to participate?
- Not at all! Don’t feel pressured into writing all 30 prompts. You can write as few or as many as you want. This list is meant to spark inspiration, not cause any undue stress.
* Do I have to write all of the prompts separately or can I combine them?
- You can write all of the prompts in one continuous fic, write them all separately or combine a handful at a time. Do what works for you!  Just, please, specify which prompts inspired your work.
* Do I have to write the prompts in order?
-No. You can write them in whatever order you’d like, but again, please identify which prompts your work is based on.
* Can I combine with prompts from other events?
-As long as the other events you’re participating in are okay with it, so are we! Combine all you’d like!
* I don’t write but I can draw. Can I participate?
-Yes! All types of content creators are welcome to join in the fun.
* What if I don’t finish the prompts by the end of September?
- No problem! Take your time and create at your own pace!  There’s no rush. But also keep in mind that you are not obligated to fill each and every prompt.
* Are there any restrictions?
- There are only two major restrictions. No sexually explicit material and no illegal or non-consensual relationships.
    - No explicit descriptions of sexual encounters (smut/erotica/pornography)
           - Innuendo and passing mentions of sexual encounters are okay. 
    -No romantic relationships between adults and minors, relationships that are incestuous, and/or relationships that are stockholm syndrome based.
            - As a hurt/comfort-focused event, we would like to keep the main focus of this particular event on the sick character and their caregiver/caretaker
 -This also allows us to leave this event open to a broader range of participants.
*What if I want to use one of the prompts to write something that doesn’t fit within the event rules?
 - We understand that inspiration comes from many places and we certainly aren’t here to tell you what you should and shouldn’t write.
 - If your prompt-inspired content is outside of the event’s restrictions, then it is no longer for the event, and it should not be associated with it. At that point, your content is for you, and all of the people who would enjoy it!
     - In this situation, we ask that you please do not use the event tags, submit the content to the blog, or enter the content into the AO3 collection.
*Can dark themes, character death and/or swearing be included in my content?
- there are no rules against the use of heavy subjects or character death or swearing
-All we ask is that you tag your content appropriately so that readers can decide whether or not that’s the kind of content they want to read.
*There aren’t enough alternate prompts for me. Can you add more? Can I add my own?
- If you need additional alternate prompts let us know! We would be happy to discuss the potentiality of adding one or two more if the need to do so becomes apparent.
-You are also welcome to suggest an additional alternate prompt if you have an idea of what you would like to use. However, there is no guarantee that it will be added to the official list.
-But also, please keep in mind that you are not obligated to write thirty prompts. If you find that there are only a few or perhaps only a single prompt on the list that you’re comfortable working with, then that is absolutely fine! No pressure!
* Once the event begins, will projects be collected anywhere?
- Authors who post their work on the Archive of Our Own (AO3) website are welcome and encouraged to add their work to the collection, ‘Sicktember 2024’ 
- Content Creators who post or cross-post on Tumblr are encouraged to use the tag #sicktember 2024 so that others can find and enjoy their work.
*How do I post my work to the collection on Archive of Our Own (AO3)?
-When you create a draft or edit your work, there is a section titled [Associations]
-In the section, you will find a text box labeled [Post to Collections/Challenges]  
-That is where you will type,  Sicktember_2024  (It should auto-fill for you to make a selection. However if it doesn’t, you can type the name of the collection into the bar- exactly as you see it here- and it will still post appropriately.) 
- You can also post to the collection by using the ‘post collection’ button on the top right corner of the Sicktember_2024 collection’s page. 
*Keep in mind that (a) the collection will not be open until September and (b) your work will not be added to the collection until you hit [Post]
* Will you be promoting/featuring completed projects on Tumblr?
You are welcome and encouraged to submit your work for posting on the @sicktember blog.
Your submission should be formatted as follows
- A link to your content (tumblr, ao3, ff.net, wattpad, etc…)
 - The fandom or alternative fandom tag you wish to be included on your submission. (No fandom tag, original work, owl house, m/arvel, c*bra k*i, etc…) ** please limit your fandom tags to 5 or less **
- The prompt you used (the number and the prompt itself)
 - A Summary, description or snippet of your content (not a full fic)
The above-mentioned Information does not have to be in that order, but it does have to be clearly included.
** Important things to keep in mind when submitting:
- We will be posting no more than 10 submissions a day.
- Submissions will close one week after the event (Oct. 7)
- To be posted, your submission must be correctly formatted.
- We will queue submissions until the inbox is empty
⭐⭐ Please keep in mind that this is one fan-run event among many. If you don’t agree with the above-mentioned parameters, that’s okay! We want you to feel comfortable with the events you choose to participate in. And if that means not participating in this one, that’s okay too! Find one you love. If you can’t, consider creating one of your own!⭐⭐ 
 **If you have any further questions, send an ask to the @sicktember blog or reach out to  @yes-i-am-happyaspie or @obsessionoftheday.
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abarbaricyalp · 8 months
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Since the original post about the line has been going around, I've been thinking about the "It's hard to find someone with shared life experience" line from Steve in The Winter Soldier.
Yes it sets up parallels between Steve and Bucky, whatever. I don't know that it was actually meant to do that. The viewer should understand without being told that Steve and Bucky have shared lived experience.
That scene has always struck me much more as establishing the relationship that Steve and SAM were going to have. The movie said Steve is searching for shared life experience and then plops Sam down in front of him like, okay, here!
(Reckless) Military man part of experimental technology? ✅️
Lost your best friend during a military mission right in front of you? ✅️
"All I had to do was hold on."
"It's like I was just up there to watch."
Displaced soldiers--out of time, out of service ✅️
Anti-authority 99% of the time ✅️
"The number of people giving me orders is down to...zero 😊"
"I'm not looking for forgiveness and I'm way past asking for permission."
(I mean, I could find these quotes all day)
Heart of gold and moral compass stronger than magnetic North? ✅️
"Not a perfect soldier, but a good man."
Fiercely loyal and natural born leader? ✅️
Specialized training used to protect people at great personal sacrifice? ✅️
"I do what he does, just slower."
Loss of family as affective but off-screen development? ✅️
Strong ties to one geographic location that shaped them? ✅️
"Home is home, y'know."
Sam's theme song is literally called Louisiana Hero
Ridiculous relationship with one James Bucky Barnes, who is understandably obsessed with each of them? ✅️
I mean, I just can't believe how tightly interwoven Steve and Sam's stories are. Of course Sam gets the shield. Of course he's Captain America. Of course he's Steve's best friend. THEY are each other's parallels. Sam is everything Captain America should be. He's everything Steve needed and wanted in a friend/partner/successor. I always think Sam was kind of the first breath of fresh air Steve got, the first time he felt less alone in the future. They're mirrors of each other. Someone they could reach recognize themselves in. It's such a beautiful relationship that Marvel should have done more with.
That line is always going to be a SamSteve line to me 🤷‍♀️
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ronearoundblindly · 1 year
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Time and Tines (1/3)
Plans (see series)
Steve Rogers x Villain!Reader for @sweeterthanthis's Bittersweet Symphony Writing Challenge
Can’t change the way we are, One kiss away from killing. —Bishop Briggs, River
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Summary: Steve meets the mysterious woman staring at him from across the room.
Warnings for vague injuries, mention of needles, manipulation/brainwashing, SEMI-DARK fic (like I've read worse but it ain't sunny, folks). MINORS DNI 18+ ONLY. This work has heavy themes unsuitable for minors. There is plenty else to read on my Light Masterlist if this is not your cup of tea! WC 3.6k
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The event isn’t overly loud, but the lights are lower and he is surrounded by people. Steve isn’t fond of crowds, not when he’s not working, not when the event is actually meant to be fun for him. He isn’t Captain America right now. He isn’t the center of attention. He isn’t bothering to mingle. Instead, he’s chosen to humor a long-winded medical rant from the Avenger’s resident doctor of the past half-year.
Salvatore Avani enlightens Steve on several ways he can assess and replicate Erskine’s serum without taking a drop of any super soldier’s blood. It would be an interesting project if Steve hadn’t heard it all before, over and over, from every hopeful doctor and scientist to cross his path. At least Steve gets to be out of his suit for a while and…in another suit, though this one is significantly more forgiving to his stance and skin.
“You see, Captain, your strength can be wielded for so much more than fighting. It could give safety and security to people working unmechanizable jobs,” Dr. Avani points out.
“Not sure that’s a word, sir, but I understand.” Steve swirls whisky around in his tumbler, ice long melted, and wishes—not for the first time—that alcohol still had an effect on him. “A certain amount of modernization does protect those same workers from danger…and no one had to be dosed with anything,” he concludes before emptying the glass in hand.
As Avani opens his mouth to retort, a weight lands on Steve’s shoulder.
“Sorry, Doc,” Bucky interrupts, “just a quick word.”
“Of course, gentlemen.” The doctor turns back around to the bar to order himself another cocktail.
Bucky leans to whisper in Steve’s ear.
“So, punk, we got a situation at three o’clock.”
His whole body tenses, which doesn’t look all that different because Steve has excellent posture, but he deposits the finished glass on the counter and looks over his right shoulder past his friend.
Eyes. Intense and focused eyes meet his before darting down. A few people meander in the space between but you’re all Steve can see for a long moment.
“There it is,” Bucky mutters in recognition.
“Did you just make me look at a dame across the room?” Steve runs a hand over his freshly shaven law and hisses. “Jerk.”
“Uh, that dame’s been staring at you for a solid twenty minutes, but you weren’t noticing. You’re welcome.”
Steve lowers his head, suppressing a grin as best he can and glancing again to his right.
You’ve turned away. You’re fiddling with a glass of clear, bubbly liquid. Vodka soda? Gin and tonic? Those are Steve’s first guesses, but he can’t tell which since both lemon and lime wedges float above the ice.
“Two of whatever she is having,” Bucky asks the bartender helpfully, clapping a pat of encouragement on Steve’s back.
The man behind the bar gives a quizzical look and then shrugs.
Buck winks at him as Steve heads for your high-top table. No one else stands around you. No rings on the hand beside your drink. No way you don’t know he’s coming over even with your eyes down.
“Hi, mind if I join you?”
You smile without looking up. “Only if you brought gifts.” Your voice is small, a little shyer than Steve would expect from someone brazen enough to watch him that long from afar, but he sets his offering on the table anyway.
“I do,” he replies softly, matching your tone, “although what it is is a mystery to me.”
Still smiling, you drain your original glass quickly and confess, “Sierra Mist.”
Steve sucks air through pearly white teeth. “Yikes. More of a 7-Up man myself.”
“Go figure. Captain America has brand loyalty.”
He fails to stop the burst of laughter punched from his chest. It doesn’t scare you though. He’s actually pleased it seems to relax you. He sets his own hand on the table approximately an inch from yours. 
“Touché.”
A faint tremor rolls through that hand but stops after you make a fist and release it.
Steve just starts saying random things that come to mind, and shockingly, it works.
Conversation flows for while as he notices that your dress straps don’t stay put very well and there is a barely visible seam at your hairline. Why you would need to wear a wig, he has no idea. He finds himself almost compelled to say your natural hair is perfect, just like you.
And this is why Steve doesn’t let himself out much.
During one comment regarding the other guests, he sneaks a peek over at Bucky—still beside Avani—and is flashed a thumbs up which he immediately hopes you did not see.
Chatting continues.
Steve isn’t a good flirt, but it seems he’s getting lucky with little lines tonight. He’s willing to push his luck.
“Well, after all this sweetness, maybe we should dance off some energy.” Yet sugar, like alcohol, has no discernible effect on Steve Rogers.
“Oh, no. That’s not necessary. I’m a miserable dancer.” You lift your bejeweled clutch up alongside your lemon-lime soda. “Besides how would I carry it all?”
“Well, if they’d make dresses with fuller skirts like they used to,” Steve teases, pushing his half-full glass aside, “you wouldn’t have that problem. The world regressed that way. Real shame.”
“Not a fan of form-fitting gowns?” you cock your head with wide eyes.
Steve’s gaze snaps to his shoes, hoping to choke off the heat rising in his cheeks. It only chokes his words. “Oh, oh god, no. They’re lovely. I meant, ya know, pockets and…I just—I didn’t want anything to stop you.“
“Me neither.”
You take him in with warm assessment and one last evaluation of the room, tucking your lip between your teeth briefly. “You’re in luck,” you add with a laugh. “I’m about to blow your mind, Captain.”
He watches you open the clasp, fish around inside the tiny bag—barely an envelope, really, but Steve learned from Natasha that ladies can hold a scary amount in those things,— and pull out a silvery length like a party trick from the minuscule confines. The new strap allows you to toss the purse over your shoulder.
You present the transformation like it’s a superpower.
“Nifty,” Steve coos.
You nod an acceptance of his awe. “I am nothing if not prepared.”
“And now—“ he offers his hand again “—out of excuses. Bucky tells me I am ‘a sight to behold’ and not in a good way. Shall we prove him right in solidarity?”
You head to the open floor, guided by Steve’s lead. “Not gonna try to prove him wrong?”
He swings you around to face him. “How would I always win as Cap if I bet like that?”
You hum while Steve settles a hand over the satin at your waist. “Picking your battles, huh?” Free and delicate hands land at his shoulders before one smooths down his sleeve, your eyes never leaving his. “And I’m a fight waiting to happen?”
He gets lost for a few bars until he shows his true colors and winces.
“Well, my toes are fighting with yours, clearly.” 
But you simply laugh.
Steve’s brain turns over the steps and his apologies and then finally lands on a good line way after the fact. “Or, no, wait, I’ve got it now.” He squares his shoulders a little more and deepens his voice, comically.
“You’re worth fighting for.”
The snort huffed in his face is perfect, the grin that splits your painted lips over shiny white teeth blinding and well worth his efforts.
“Oh wow. See!” He earns a featherlight slap to the chest. “You do have your charming moments, Captain Rogers.”
“Steve, please—“ he fakes leading you off the floor “—and could we go repeat that in front of—“
“—the extremely grumpy man gripping a beer bottle?” Your sights land across the room toward the bar. “I don’t know, Steve. Your critic looks pretty…something.”
Steve frowns when he sees Bucky. As his friend speaks with Dr. Avani, Bucky’s face pinches solid as stone, overly serious beside the doctor’s casual body language. Buck indeed looks pissed for no reason. 
Steve squints in apology. “He’s not—that’s just—I promise he’s not like that—“
Where’s that teasing joy from a minute ago?
He contemplates that still when your hands release him, and his focus snaps back.
“I need to use the ladies’ room anyway,” you shrug, rubbing a palm up and down your bare arm.
“And then fireworks?” Steve inserts hopefully, almost removing his suit jacket right then to drape over your shoulders. He sounds like an excited schoolboy, and he’s again glad that Bucky is far enough away not to know how obvious he’s being.
You smile, a graceful tug at the dark, matte lipstick sculpted over your full—Rogers. Then a little nod is all you offer before turning to the hall, bag bouncing at your hip on its magic chain.
Steve watches you go, meandering over to Bucky while glancing in your last known direction, until his friend grunts to get his attention.
Avani is gone, but Buck’s face remains sour.
“What on earth did Doc say? Some intel for a mission?” Steve’s only half-curious and fully-distracted though.
His friend just waves off the mood. “Where’s your girl?”
“She’s not…” Steve shakes his head.
“Fine. Where’s your girl for the night?” Bucky raises one eyebrow.
“You know that sounds even worse now than it did back then, right?”
“Well?” Bucky looks around inquisitively.
“Powder her nose—” Steve smirks with rosy cheeks “—then watching the light show.”
He gets a solid smack between his shoulders and a proud nod.
Steve tries to remain patient, he really does, but after a few minutes and nearly every guest settled into their own viewing spot across the long balcony, he checks back over his shoulder.
Nothing.
He excuses himself from Bucky’s side and wanders toward the hallway.
Yes, he knows he’ll look too interested and a bit stalker-esque, but he doesn’t want to miss the show—he doesn’t want you to miss the show with him. There’s gonna be this beautiful display in the sky and you’ll be engrossed enough that he can just look at the changing colors glow across your…
What?!
Around one corner of the wall, Steve sees a foot, one shiny, brown men’s dress shoe, and then another. Someone’s kneeling—shaking if rolling toes are any indication—and then there you are standing over him.
“Doctor Avani?” Steve croaks, watching you raise a syringe and needle high over the man’s head.
You ignore Steve’s arrival.
The doctor’s eyes don’t break from you as he shrieks, “Captain, she’s mad. She—“
“How dare you? Bastard,” you bite out, heaving your weapon at the doctor’s exposed throat as Steve lunges forward.
It punctures the thick, luxurious navy fabric of Steve’s suit, and he feels the slight swelling pressure of liquid entering his forearm.
You release your grip, eyes wild and teeth bared. Gone is the sweet and serene woman with whom he shared a drink and danced.
The syringe stays lodged in Steve’s flesh as he pushes the doctor aside to shield him, but it’s too late for you.
Bucky followed behind him and now wraps your arms behind your back while you struggle to inch toward Avani, spitting insults.
“What was it?” Bucky demands. “What’s in there? What poison?”
Steve rips the needle out, checking it for any clues.
With a scowl, your fierce gaze stays on the doctor.
“Ask him. It’s his brand of suffering.”
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Steve watches behind the two-way mirror for a while, deciding how to approach you. After chatting with you for the better part of an hour at the event, he still knows absolutely nothing about you. Every single piece of your preliminary file is news to him. He has to start from scratch, which is, ironically, what you are trying to do to the seam of your wig when he finally enters the interrogation room.
“Tea or water?” Steve sets down the cups.
You stop fidgeting for a beat. “Water is fine. Thank you.”
Polite. You stabbed him with a needle, injected him with an unknown substance, and you’re polite about it? He doesn’t understand the nonchalance. If you meant to kill Dr. Avani, then why aren’t you upset that you failed?
With your hands cuffed and the chain laced through a handlebar built into the table, it’s an awkward strain on your neck. You shove your shoulder high and pulse your head back and forth. Your wrists are thin, thin enough that one good, hard pull might actually snap one.
Polite and uncomfortable. Steve figures showing some courtesy might loosen your tongue.
He unlocks the cuffs and places the water in easy reach, keeping the tea for himself.
He sits and you sip. It’s peaceful when it shouldn’t be.
Avani has no clue who you are or what you want, but Steve couldn’t get many answers during the chaos that ensued after your attack. His own heart rate skyrocketed for a few minutes before normalizing. Otherwise, he’s fine.
He tilts the tea in your direction.
“Here’s hoping you didn’t waste truth serum on me,” he cheers. “Might be the only drug completely useless both after and before Erskine’s formula.”
You’re amused, a smirk lifting fading, dark lips. “Ah yes. Good, honest Captain America.”
“To a fault.”
“No.” Your seriousness stops him cold, and Steve’s smile fades. “It’s not a fault. You’re just rare.”
You value honesty. He can work with that.
“Is that why you chose a drug specifically for the doctor? You didn’t want to harm anyone else, even by accident?”
That shuts you down instead. Steve’s jumped too far, too fast. He’s not allowed to use the same easy tone as before this mess. Maybe he should have found some 7Up…
Silence descends until broken by your heavy swallows of water.
You’re staring down at your reflection in the table’s surface.
“I love stainless steel,” you mutter to no one in particular. “It’s like diffusion. I almost look normal.”
“You mean because you look different?” Steve pulls out your ID found in that small purse. “Why don’t you look ‘normal?’”
You shrug, finally dislodging the precarious strap and it dangles down your arm. “Lost weight.”
“And the hair?”
He was right. Your natural hair in the photo is beautiful. Why the hell are you wearing a wig? If it were obscuring your identity, he imagines you would know not to carry around a real ID.
“Time” is your only answer.
You’re skirting around the truth, lying by omission, waiting for the exact right questions which Steve doesn’t know yet, so he asks something for peace of mind, something that will tell him how long to play this game. “Are you gonna be honest with me?”
Your answer comes easily enough. “Are you gonna be helpful to me?”
Simple. Straightforward. Cutting. It’s said with sorrowful eyes.
He can’t promise anything when he doesn’t know why. “If your purpose is to kill a man then, no, I can’t help you with that.”
Your empty cup lands on the table with a light tonk.
“Maybe I’ll wait until someone who can help walks through that door.”
“In this situation, I believe I’m what’s known as the ‘good cop,’” Steve sighs. “Don’t think you want to dance with the ‘bad cop.’ He’s pretty annoyed he didn’t peg you for an assailant first.”
Nothing about your demeanor changes, not a flinch, not a blink. “Good thing I don’t want to dance with him.”
“He’s not much of a talker either. I’d be a better—“
“I didn’t say I’d talk to him either.”
Steve leans on his elbows, splaying wide across the table. “Just tell me your story. I am here to listen.”
“That makes this sound like a first date.”
“Bucky would likely agree—“ he snorts “—and he’d make a point to say this is going about as well as any date I’ve been on this century. Please,” Steve tries again, “ talk to me.”
There’s a long pause. Your intense gaze remains steady. Whatever your reasons, they don’t strain your moral fortitude. You are a believer, faithful to this unknown cause.
Carefully, quietly, you respond. “It’s not my story to tell. Ask your doctor.”
“If it’s not your story, where are the others? Can they tell it? Are they alive?”
Steve is more perceptive than you counted on judging by your slight head shake.
You flop yourself backward in the seat.
Steve was right. It’s not a what you act for, it’s a who. And they are dead.
“I’m sorry for your loss,” he says earnestly.
This—that simple sentiment—gets the greatest reaction so far. Your lip twitches, and you shimmy against the hard chair. You scratch at your wig again, before your focus returns to the table. There are tears welling in your eyes.
No one has said that before now, he realizes. How long has it been since they passed? Why are you the only mourner? Why aren’t you moving on?
Suddenly, irritation stirs in Steve, and he can’t believe how stubborn you’re being when he is your best option. He is the only one that will have this soft spot for you, the only one who truly wants to help because he truly wants to know why.
“So you’re avenging,” he bursts, tossing his arms out, dramatically looking around the bland room. 
Protocol dictated they take you to the nearest precinct for questioning. Only if you were enhanced, only if you had special abilities would you be transported all the way to the compound. So on his night off, while attending a party that actually entertained him for once, you’ve shown up with a syringe that doesn’t do anything and made him miss the fireworks. You’ve made him lose time being content, a rare gift in his line of work.
Steve is frustrated, to say the least. He stands to pace his side of the table.
“Avenging, huh? Gosh, I wish I knew anything about that… anyone in this building even… wherever will we find someone who understands?”
“You don’t do sarcasm very much, do you?” you snip, energy level remaining low compared to his spiked bluster. “I’d like to tell ‘bad cop’ what a terrible dancer you are now. He’s not going to be surprised you made me cry, is he? That’s probably normal, too.”
“Surprised? No.” Steve knocks on the mirror, sick of playing, sick of being wrong, sick of choosing unwisely. “How could he be when he’s been listening this whole time?” 
You’re trapped, but you aren’t acting like a caged animal. Something is…off, and Steve realizes he’s too close to the situation—ridiculous as that may be—after just two hours of knowing you. His best friend will have better luck.
Bucky opens the door a few seconds later, armed to the teeth as an intimidation tactic.
It’s disconcerting that your expression brightens once a man sporting three guns and—counting the hidden few—eight knives enters the room. That’s got Steve’s attention.
“So she’s giving you trouble?” Bucky mutters.
He’s grateful Buck doesn’t go the ‘you sure can pick ‘em, Rogers’ or ‘better luck next millennium’ route. Steve shakes his head.
You itch at your wig, face twisted, and glance up at Steve.
“May I take this off?”
Still polite. The niceties are actually making his blood boil at this point because he does not get it yet.
“Fine,” he snaps, rolling his eyes when Bucky purses his lips at Steve’s tone.
“Listen, doll, I think the best course of action is to let you stew in here for a while. When you’re ready to tell us what you know, then—“
“Oh, I can tell you what I know now,” you say casually, pulling out bobby pin after bobby pin to tuck between your teeth. “I know the protocol for a low-level threat like myself is the nearest local law enforcement facility, I know that—due to an unfortunate instance of food poisoning from a birthday cake earlier today—most of this precinct is empty. I know that all three of you would prefer to incapacitate your targets rather than kill them.”
You set the little pile of pins down on the table by your undone chain, pulling a hair comb from the back of your wig to finally release it.
“There’s only two of us here,” Steve says in confusion.
“No.” You point the forked hair comb at Bucky and push yourself out of the chair. “Winter’s in there.”
Before the words can even register, you slam the tines of the tuning fork against the edge of the steel table. The noise is piercing and specific.
Steve covers his ears, but Bucky doesn’t move. He can’t turn away from you.
“Restrain him,” you order, “and get me out of here.”
“Buck, wait—“
The vibranium arm threatens to crush Steve’s windpipe as the force slides him up the mirrored wall.
The Winter Soldier’s cold, vacant grey eyes watch as Steve’s vision fades to black, and Steve wonders how the hell he could be so wrong.
Then it’s quiet and he wonders no more.
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A/N: This story is a doozy, gang, but I promise, explanations are ahead!
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yanderes-galore · 4 months
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Diavolo with a La Squadra darling? Like, she wants nothing to do with him since he was responsible for the murder of two of her teammates and only wants revenge, and he can't help himself but be obsessed with her. I feel like he would stalk her as Doppio first, then shortly after(because you KNOW this man is not risking it) kidnapping her himself with the help of King Crimson.
I actually think this is interesting as Diavolo knows you can be an issue with your team.... Sorry for the long wait, made pairing Gender-Neutral as I never used any pronouns.
Yandere! Diavolo with La Squadra! Darling
Pairing: Romantic
Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Stalking, Murder, Violence, Blood, Kidnapping, Sadism, Emotional manipulation, Threats, Dark themes, Biting, Neck kissing, Forced relationship.
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To be fair, I think your team is already monitored by Diavolo.
Ever since he realized your team was trying to reveal his identity... He just knew he couldn't risk things.
Originally before the deaths of Sorbet and Gelato, you worked just as hard as the rest of the hitman team.
Being a Stand User yourself, you were often praised for your skills.
A little blood wasn't new for you and even Diavolo knew you could get a job done once given an order.
However, like the rest you felt burned when The Boss didn't allow the team more territory.
The unfortunate downside of being expert killers is The Boss distrusted La Squadra.
Which meant no new territory... and not a lot of income.
Sorbet and Gelato had gotten close to exposing The Boss, only to be killed as a message not to fly too close to the sun.
La Squadra felt like family to you, a close group of assassins all trying to just get paid.
Unfortunately, killing Sorbet and Gelato had the opposite effect Diavolo wanted.
Now you all just wanted to find a way to get back at him, which just so happens to be kidnapping Trish.
I can definitely see Diavolo using Doppio to stalk you.
Originally, like usual, it's to find a way to keep you at bay.
Not necessarily to kill you, but to throw you off his scent.
He's having Doppio keep an eye on the rest of your team too.
Although you're the one that manages to catch his eye.
Part of him does admire your killing instinct and loyalty.
You listen to your leader, Risotto Nero, no matter the command.
Diavolo just wishes such potential wasn't wasted on a reckless mission to find him out.
The fact you have no idea Doppio is him is something he uses to his advantage.
Truthfully, Diavolo could care less about the rest of your team?
He isn't even sure why he's so fixated on you of all things.
Most of his obsession is keeping track of you.
He wants to keep an eye on you and the team so he knows when to get rid of them.
Later on he may even do just that.
Except not only would it be due to the danger they pose, but because he wants to get a message across to you.
Diavolo is aware of how attached you are to your team.
I can see him using that attachment to isolate you.
Through Doppio he'd probably drag you or your teammates into certain situations.
Diavolo is a big planner.
If he ever did try to get you alone, he has his reasons.
That being to kill you, or in your case, abduct you.
He'd lure you with a fake order, only for you to be ambushed by Diavolo.
By the time he's interested, he's already used Doppio to gain info on every one of your habits.
Diavolo is the type to use your weaknesses against you.
First he'll reveal himself, using King Crimson to render any attack useless.
He's researched your ability right up to every little weakness you have.
By the time he's ready to take you out of the equation, he counters your ideas with a grin.
"You did say you wanted to know my identity didn't you, dear?"
Diavolo purrs, voice dripping with sadistic delight once he knows he can corner you.
"Perhaps destiny decided to be kind to the both of us, Hm?"
You don't understand his words, how could you?
You're a hitman trying to avenge your fallen comrades, meanwhile he's an obsessed madman that's been following you for a long time now.
Fate plays a cruel joke on you, allowing you to meet your target but unable to kill him.
Destiny still seemed to aid him as he's been wanting to get his hands on you for a long time now.
Once Diavolo has you, he has ways of keeping you compliant.
How? Well, remember when I said you were attached to La Squadra like family?
He threatens them with similar fates to Sorbet and Gelato.
That is, unless, you decide to play along.
He wants you to play into his desires, in return your team shall be spared for now.
Really, their fate is sealed either way.
Your team will still die even if you accept the deal.
Threats and careful planning is a big part of Diavolo's obsession with you.
He uses fear to make you controlled, even if he is a coward.
He doesn't need to put a hand on you, he doesn't want to.
No, instead he'll target one of your old squad members to be taken out.
Then he'll bring back proof.
What, aren't you used to blood?
So why do you look so ill when he brings you the corpse of a fellow La Squadra member?
Death was part of your job.
Don't spare them any tears.
Diavolo seems like the type of yandere to force you into his embrace as you stare at the corpse of a former friend, nibbling on your neck as he tells you that he "told you so".
He's possessive, viewing the deaths of your comrades as a way to get rid of a nuisance.
If the experience breaks you, good, it l benefits him.
He wants to make sure you understand who you belong to.
The moment Diavolo breaks you and gets rid of your team, he's won.
He looks forward to such a victory with a grin on his face, looking like a true demon in your eyes.
"Why don't we make a deal, dear?
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