#but you need those moments to remind yourself that better days are possible

[the-ships-to-rule-them-all]

It’s late so I have no real positive inkling about how coherent this will be.

I’ve been seeing a lot of posts engaging with the concept of “don’t look away, bare witness” and how anyone looking away by not reblogging or engaging is privileged and therefore a bad person. I reject this premise wholeheartedly for one very critical reason: the world will not get better if the only emotions we have are anger, exhaustion and trauma. None of those truly lead to anything productive in the long run.

This is not to say don’t engage with different perspectives, unlearn things or simply sit in the uncomfortable nature that comes from our global society. But learn to take breaks.

There is massive difference between “looking away” and “hitting pause”. It needs to be more acceptable on the internet to hit pause. To seek joy, to sleep and wake up rested. There is also the fact that our brains are not able to process the 24/7 news cycle - if we try, we end up making the nuanced into simple paradigms.

[sinsofsummers]

sensational; part ii

6.8k | joel miller x f!innocent!reader follow-up to sensational

summary: you've tasked joel with teaching you about all of the things you missed. he's back for more...teaching moments. warnings: smut (duh), 18+, mdni. softdom!joel vibes in this one, joel gives reader an anatomy lesson, pet names (lots of dollface) fingering, praise kink to the gods, masturbation (f and brief m), reader gives joel a hand(y), grinding, bit of a corruption kink toward the end, jesus there might need to be a part 3 note: well. look at what you guys did. you went and loved on sensational so much and asked for a part 2 so often that i just had to grant your wishes. i hope you’re fckn happy✌🏼🥹 (this is all jokes i’m so excited to write more of this dynamic teehee)

You'd never counted yourself as a dreamer of any sort; when sleep clouded your brain at night, every thought faded along with it. Aside from the occasional nightmare, reminding you of your parents' absence, you hadn't had an actual dream since you were a kid.

Of course, that night in Joel's house had changed everything, in every possible way. In just an hour or so he had taken your world into his hands, shaped it, flipped it, and returned it to you, unrecognizable. His name was carved into everything you saw and touched, and this included your dreams.

He was everywhere in your head when you slept. So much so that you'd begun to forget which was reality and which was a figment of your imagination, which made your patrols with him all the more humiliating.

Your hands were cold. It was all you could focus on as you followed Joel along your normal patrol route. Just twelve hours had passed since that night in his house, when he'd touched you with rough hands and what taught you what it meant to feel desired. His words still rang clear in your head days later:

Trust me, doll. I've got so much more to teach you.

It sent your head reeling just to think about it now. The memory of his fingertips grazing the side of your face as he'd said it, those brown eyes sparkling with desire for you—a vision of contentment.

You had leaned into his touch subconsciously, reaching a hand up to trace the line of his wrist. His eyes had darted to where your fingers pressed to his skin, a soft grin replacing his satisfied smirk. "I'd better get you home, then," he'd whispered.

It had taken everything in you to ignore the small pang of disappointment that had bloomed in your gut, but it was an easier task when he'd dropped his lips to your forehead.

"No one'll miss me at home," you'd protested quietly, trying not to relish too much in the feeling of his beard scratching at the space between your eyebrows.

This sentiment was true. You still didn't know how things had worked out so well, but after arriving in Jackson, Tommy (the fact that it was Joel's younger brother made this seem all the less coincidental) and Maria had been more than accommodating. They'd offered you your own space, a house to yourself. Granted, it was much smaller than Joel's, but it was your own. It had become home in the four short years you'd lived in Jackson.

No one was waiting for you at home. It was a fact that used to make your throat close up, memories taunting you every moment they could. Now it was a welcomed thought, if it meant that you could remain in the heady presence of Joel Miller.

But he'd only shaken his head, his brown eyes flitting down to your lips before returning to your gaze. "I'm sure they'll notice when you don't come strolling out of your own place in the mornin'," he'd insisted gently. His thumb traced your bottom lip when your shoulders slumped. You hoped you didn't look as pitiful as you felt, your lip threatening to push outward in a pout.

"Might not be able to keep my hands to myself tonight if I let you stay," he'd breathed. You didn't care if he said it as an apology, or if it was actually true.

Because who were you to disagree with him? It was Joel.

So without more than a lingering hand on your wrist, he'd walked you to your door. When you'd teased him for such a chivalrous act, he'd cocked an eyebrow, glancing sideways at you. "Can't just let you walk home alone after that," he'd scoffed, his voice rough again in the outdoors. A few people were still milling about despite it being darker than pitch after nightfall. "M'not a complete scoundrel," he said with a wry grin.

Your front door always looked so inviting, a place for you to take a breath and relax after a long day. In that moment, it was taking everything in you to put one foot in front of the other and return to your own place.

"Scoundrel," you'd mused, hoping the amusement in your voice covered the way you leaned back with every step, as if you could claim one more touch of his body—arm, chest, shoulder—to send you to bed with nothing but him on your mind. "Kind of a big word, wouldn't you say?" you'd teased him, just as he'd done to you. "Sure you know what it means?"

The twitch of his jaw was enough of a reward for your attempt at humor, but your satisfied smirk had been wiped clean off your face when he'd darted a glance around before leaning in, hovering just centimeters from your face.

It occurred to you in that moment that you'd truly only kissed him once. A shame, a voice in your head sighed. His lips were devastatingly plump, even in the darkness.

Joel had stayed there, his eyes tearing down to your mouth before warning you in that deliciously low baritone, "I know what it is. Best get inside," his jaw twitched once more and you caught him clenching and unclenching his fists, "'fore I show you what it means to be a scoundrel."

You'd gone inside with a shaky breath and the return of that familiar pulse that, it seemed, only he knew how to ignite.

—

Joel chose not to look in the mirror when he'd gone home that night. He wasn't sure he'd be able to stand the way his hair was undoubtedly wild, his eyes hard with desire, and his hands still aching with the memory of her squirming body in his lap.

After four years of near silence, this girl had unraveled him. After all those days on patrol with her, nothing to do except look at her when she wouldn't notice, Joel Miller had been undone.

The next day, waking up early with the stiffness in his boxers begging to be dealt with, Joel spit on his palm and wrapped it around his cock, releasing a sigh. Fuck's sake, he thought with a groan. Can't hardly get a full night's sleep anymore.

It should have annoyed him; it was certainly an inconvenience. But if it meant that he'd get to spend more time thinking about her body and her lips and her eyes when she asked those incessant questions, then so be it. He'd never sleep another wink and be glad for it.

It didn't take long for his release to come, not when the memories of her whines were so fresh in his mind. To think that he'd had her on his lap, hips squirming in that way that only she knew...it was enough to make him—"A grown fuckin' man," he reminded himself—spill into his hands and draw ragged breaths into his lungs to recover.

With an arm thrown across his face, he latched onto the image of her in the heat of ecstasy, her eyelids fluttering shut and her lips wet from constantly biting them.

For a moment, he tried to rein himself in. Can't be doin' this, he'd thought while getting ready for patrol that morning. Don't wanna take advantage of her, or fuck her up cause of my inability to control my own desires.

In reality, he'd considered, did she really know what she was getting herself into? With little more knowledge than the mechanics of reproduction, it had been evident with the events of the previous night that she knew nothing of what pleasure could be. Did he really want to be responsible for her discovery of such things?

But when he went to the stables an hour later and saw her standing in the snow with an extra twinge in her grin and her eyes sparkling despite the echoes of fatigue in her irises, every doubt dissipated immediately. He pretended not to notice the way her eyes lingered on his back when they saddled up, heading out of Jackson for the day.

Joel Miller was never one to deny a woman in need. Why should he have stopped now?

—

"How'd you sleep?"

When you looked over at him, almost shocked that he'd broken the silence, your eyebrow quirked up. "Fine," you answered.

It wasn't that this patrol had been disappointing, it was just...ever since you'd left Jackson that morning, you'd been waiting for him to look at you like he had the night before, or to even acknowledge you in the way that you could still remember him doing.

Maybe it was because Tommy was nearby at the time, or maybe he'd changed his mind after all. Maybe you'd overstepped, asking a man so much older than you to teach you all of this. Maybe it hadn't happened at all—your dreams were rather convincing these days.

If it hadn't been for those girls, hell-bent on making you feel ostracized, perhaps you wouldn't have landed yourself in this position. You probably wouldn't have had any reason to be curious about what it all meant, and you could have gone on in comfortable silence with him on your patrols.

With a heavy mind, you blew out a breath. If it hadn't been for those girls, though—you never would have known the creases that sank into the corners of his eyes when he grinned at you.

Beside you, having held back to come up shoulder-to-shoulder, Joel huffed. "Bullshit, darlin'," he scoffed, casting a sideways glance in your direction.

You tightened your hands on the reins. "Excuse me?" you said sharply.

His chuckle was a soft rumble in his chest, and you ached to feel it against your back. "I saw those sleepy eyes at the stables," he crooned, the corners of his eyes crinkling just like you remembered. "Looks like someone didn't get a good night's sleep."

"Oh, and I'm just supposed to believe you slept like a damn baby, then?" You couldn't help the incredulity in your tone, but you blushed when you noticed him smirking, his lips twitching as he fought a smile away.

"'Course not," he shook his head almost dismissively. "Couldn't tell my brain to stop conjurin' pictures of you shakin' in my lap." He adjusted the way he was seated on his horse, and you couldn't help but wonder if he was getting hard at the reminder of the memory.

You, in a similar vein, were trying to ignore the unmistakable feel of heat puddling between your legs. Keeping your eyes forward, you asked, "Is that a good thing?"

Joel nodded. "A very good thing, dollface. You were so good for me last night."

Any air that had been in your lungs left in a rush, and you put a hand to your cheek, warm despite the winter's wind. You thought you heard yourself whine at the sound of the pet name.

Thankfully, he didn't say or do anything to show that he'd noticed. Instead, he tugged his horse to a stop. "Let's get down here," he said. "Walk and talk, yeah?"

The thought of walking beside him after all that had happened the night before was enough to make you freeze in your saddle, suddenly unsure of how to get down. "Yeah," you mumbled, if only to fill the silence.

You could hear the crunch of snow under his boots as he came up beside you, thick gloved hands reaching for your waist. "C'mon, darlin'," he'd insisted, "I won't bite."

There was a note of irony in his tone, and you let him pull you from your saddle, landing in the snow in front of him. Your jacket snagged against his, and you stood there for a moment, letting your frosty wisps of breath coil and furl with his. "What do you mean?" you asked, cursing your ever-present confidence when it came to asking him questions. It seemed that you'd never learn to hold your tongue.

"Hmm?" he hummed in response. "What's what mean?" He stepped away from you to grab the reins in his hand and began to walk forward in the snow.

You shook your head and pushed on, stumbling after him. When did the snow get so deep? "You sounded rather..." you trailed off, searching for the word.

"Oh, here it comes," he mused in that serious tone, hardly covering the teasing lilt that rang clear in his eyes. "Bet you're coming up with a big word right about now, huh?"

You couldn't help it when you rolled your eyes and swatted a hand at the back of his arm. "I was going to say you sounded smug," you finished. "About how you won't bite?"

There it was again. That look of slight surprise at your questions. You waited for a few moments, the two of you trudging along in the snow, before he answered quietly. "We're jumpin' ahead of ourselves, but I s'pose it won't hurt." He shrugged. "Some people like it. Biting."

You furrowed your eyebrows. "Like it?" You looked down at your hands, covered in thick gloves. "Doesn't it hurt?"

Joel smirked. "It can," he considered, "if the person gettin' bitten wants it like that." He brushed your arm with his. "But some people don't like it at all. Just depends."

You braved a look up at his face and swallowed roughly, feeling your core pulse at the sight of his rosy cheeks. "Does it have to hurt?" You didn't mean to sound so desperate; you were just curious. "I mean, is it like...like a real bite?"

It happened so quickly that you hardly had a moment to process. Joel stopped in his tracks, pulled you near, and dipped his head down to your ear. "Don't have to," he murmured, and you were just starting to quiver at the feel of his voice next to your ear when he was brushing your hair from your neck and grazing his teeth against your skin. "Can feel good, if the person doin' the biting knows how."

You couldn't help the hand that shot out to grab his arm, as if it were the only thing that might hold you up. "I'm assuming you know how," you said thickly, eyes wandering on his weathered face. Funny, you thought at the sight of his grin, he looks quite young like this.

Joel shifted his arm so he could squeeze your hand once with his before letting it go. "Don't boost my ego too high, sweetcheeks," he warned, but you could hear the humor in his voice. "Might never let go if you do."

You knew he was kidding, but the prospect that he was being serious made your stomach flutter and forced you to clench your thighs together, bringing the forefront of your attention back to the frustration that was pooling between your legs. "Joel," you muttered in a whine, not quite realizing you'd said it until he was looking at you with a twinge of concern.

"What's up, doll?" he asked, slowing to a stop. "Somethin' wrong?"

A curly tendril of his graying hair was blown into his face with the winter wind, and you wished you could brush it away with your fingers like he'd done just moments ago. "I..." you inhaled deeply, and shifted your weight. "I'm..."

It took him a moment to understand, and when he did, his eyes sparkled. "Oh, doll," he cooed, reaching forward to tug you closer to him. "Need something', huh?"

You leaned your head forward until your forehead rested against him, breathing in the scene of pine and old leather and that heady musk that was utterly Joel. Nodding into his strong chest, you brought your hand up to his wrist and tugged it down, down, down...there.

Joel's large hand cupped the mound between your legs and you swallowed harshly as it pulsed again, begging for the sweet release he'd given you the night before. "Fuck," he breathed, the vibrations of his voice rolling against your skin. "Shoulda told me you were this bothered, baby," he hummed.

You lifted your head. "I've been trying," you said in a pitiful whine, although this wasn't entirely true, and he knew it. "Why does it...why do I ache so bad?"

His smirk quivered, and his pupils were suddenly huge as he withdrew his hand from where it covered your heat, exposing it to the frigid winter air once more. "I think we've gone far enough, don't you?" he winked. "Think we may as well head back."

The implications of what would happen when you got back to Jackson made your head spin. Nodding feverishly, you let go of the twinge of embarrassment at your eagerness. "Yes, please," you hiccuped.

His tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip. "Good," he murmured.

—

This was the worst possible outcome.

Just when you'd worked up to exactly where you wanted to be with Joel, with his hands on you and his intentions leading you back to his house (and hopefully his couch), Tommy stopped you at the stables.

Well, not you. Not you at all, actually. He stalked up to his older brother and said, Meeting at my place, Joel."

He'd just gotten down from his saddle to help you do the same and was letting his hands linger on your waist when the interruption happened. With his hungry eyes locked on yours, he'd been leaning into your touch and hovering his hands just inches from your heat.

You could have sworn he jumped out of his skin at the sound of Tommy's voice; you just hoped it was because of his infamous hearing loss on his ride side and decidedly not because he'd been caught standing so close to you.

"We just had a meeting last week," he said gruffly, his eyes still searching yours. For what, you weren't sure—but you were quickly growing addicted to finding those rare flecks of gold buried in the espresso brown seas reflected back at you. His hands clenched involuntarily, and given the fact that they were resting around your hips, you got a delicious lick of pleasure that shot through your pelvis at the sensation.

Tommy didn't seem to be in the mood for dawdling. "And now we're having one this week," he insisted. "My place. Maria and the others are waiting."

You lifted your chin to see him close his eyes in annoyance. His mouth opened once; he closed it. When he opened it again, his eyes flashed along with the movement. "Alright, I'll be there in a minute," he said tersely, and you pretended not to notice the way his gloved thumb rubbed a slow circle on your hip. An apology, perhaps.

When he didn't move, you blushed with smug satisfaction. It had never been more clear that he didn't want to move.

"Joel, it's important." Usually, you'd never had an issue with Tommy. Now, of course, the sound of his voice clawed at your every hope for tonight.

With a soft look at your lips, Joel jerked his head to look at his brother. "I said give me a fuckin' minute," he said, his words clipped. "Fuck's sake," he muttered as he turned around. "Just answerin' a goddamn question," he finished, soft enough that you were sure his brother couldn't hear.

Tommy grumbled his fair share of disapproving words, but you couldn't help the grateful bubble that bloomed in your gut when you heard the shuffle of his boots as he left you alone in the stables with Joel.

He waited a moment or two before letting out a soft sigh. You couldn't have known how disappointed he was, but the way he lifted a hand to your cheek was clue enough. "New lesson, dollface," he said.

A pang of regret hit your stomach and you found yourself shaking your head. "Please?" you asked in a quiet voice. "I don't want a new lesson."

Joel grinned and sucked in a sharp breath. "I know, baby, I know." The familiar phrase threw you back to the night before, when he'd had his hands all over you, reassuring you with those exact words. But now, it wasn't a comfort. "But if I'm not around and you need to feel good..." His hand trailed down your cheek, brushed against your chest and returned to its previous spot between your legs. "I want you to practice touchin' yourself, yeah?"

His voice had become a near-painful whisper, just loud enough for you to feel rather than hear his words caress your skin. "This of me all you want, darlin'. God knows I'll be thinkin' of you at this damn...meeting," he practically spat the last word, but it didn't take away from the pressure that was building and causing you to blink rapidly. "Think about me," he repeated, "but I want you to explore this pretty body for me so you can tell me all about it when I get back."

The sound of his voice enveloped you, that heady sensation nearly making your knees give out. With a slow nod, you couldn't see yourself ever disobeying him. Not when he asked such sinful things of you.

"Okay," you whispered. "I'll try."

His mouth was in a hard line, his irritation at Tommy's interruption still prevalent. But it softened for a moment when he slid a gloved thumb over your bottom lip, letting it get pulled from its place before bouncing back. You darted your tongue out, wetting your lip in a desperate attempt to taste his leather on your skin; to taste him.

"Good," he said softly. Something new pulsed at the sound of his praise, but you fought it down. "I'll see you soon, doll."

—

Despite everything you tried when you got home—despite squeezing your eyes shut and picturing that dimple in Joel's cheek when he smirked, or the way his arms felt when wrapped around you—nothing helped. The pressure remained, the ache between your legs was ever-present, and yet...

You couldn't give yourself the release you craved. Not like Joel could.

There was no telling how long you tried, hand shoved down your pants in a sour attempt to replicate the feeling he'd given you. Your fingers were clumsy, untrained, and entirely new to the task, leaving you desperate and unsatisfied. A strangled whine left your throat when your mind flashed with the memory of his face near yours, his lips on your own, and his rough hands rubbing that small bud at your center. It was maddening.

He'd asked you to do this one thing, and you couldn't deliver. Of course, you'd never even realized this was a possibility; you'd only ever heard of men bringing themselves to the plummeting precipice of pleasure. You never considered that you could do the same.

But you didn't want to make yourself feel good. You wanted Joel to do it.

After what felt like hours, stuck in your house alone, Joel nowhere to be found, and with your hopes slipping into despair, you gave up. Your fingers would never be as rough or as thick as his. You didn't know how to explore your body when you couldn't tip yourself over the edge to ecstasy; it was impossible.

Weary and defeated, you went to bed with a groan. Joel still hadn't shown up. Either it was a long meeting, or...you didn't want to entertain the thought that he'd possibly forgotten about you. About your task to be completed.

You actually did drop off into a dreamless sleep, but when you woke to the sound of a knock at your door, you were almost positive the dreams had begun again. Swinging your legs out of bed, you trudged to the door with sleep oozing in every movement. The door opened with a click, and you blinked.

"Sorry I'm late, sweetcheeks," Joel breathed. A distant streetlamp, the only one in Jackson, was the sole source of light that illuminated the edges of his broad body on your porch. He looked near-angelic.

You didn't say anything for a moment, only crossed your arms to keep yourself warm in the face of the wintry outdoors. The relief and anticipation at seeing him here paired with the disappointment and fatigue that it had taken so long warred with each other, creating a dangerous mix as you managed to say, "Are you...hungry? Or something?"

He swallowed, and your head swam with the desire to lay your tongue flat on his neck where his Adam's apple bobbed. "Starving," he groaned, and in one step he was not only in your house but he was all over you, and you were wearing nothing but your thin pajamas.

He'd apparently already taken off his gloves, and when his hand came up to cup your cheek your body registered the chill of his fingers with a shock, despite leaning into his touch all the same. He took a moment to look at you before touching his forehead to yours, pressing his lips to yours gently. You could practically taste the restraint on his mouth, and you wanted nothing more than to beg him for everything.

Something about your face must have given it away when he pulled back because he tapped a finger against your cheek. "You look like you need somethin'." He darted a look down to your legs. "Did you do what I asked?"

You weren't sure what made you lie, but you nodded nonetheless. "Uh-huh."

Even in the dark, he was so close to you that you could see his eyebrow lift in question. You didn't know how he knew, but why wouldn't he? This was Joel. "You didn't come," he concluded, and you ducked your head. "Why not, dollface? I thought I told you to."

The implication that his request was, in fact, a command, didn't slip your mind. Your cheeks burned when you forced yourself to look at him. "I couldn't. I don't know how."

"Sure you do," he whispered. "You did real good last night for me, remember?" His lips ghosted your jaw.

You shook your head. "I don't know how. I've never...made myself come."

When Joel looked at you, you could have sworn his lips twitched, betraying the desire in his movements. "I'm sorry, babydoll," he cooed, bringing his other hand to your cheek. He slotted his lips over yours once more, and it was all you could do not to sink to the floor right there. "We'll have to fix that, won't we?"

You nodded. "Show me? Please?"

Without another word he bent to brush his lips across your hairline—you could have sworn you felt him inhale with his nose in your hair—and murmured, "In the morning, yeah?"

You pulled away to complain but he only gave you a soft smile. It was then that you could see the exhaustion in his face, eyes downturned despite those creases winking at you in the darkness. "But—"

"Told Tommy you need a day off," he clarified. "'Cause you're...sore..." he splayed his hand on your back and tugged you near, voice low. "Ya know, from all that horseback ridin'."

An anticipatory chuckle bubbled from your chest. "No way he bought that," you said breathlessly as he nipped your jawline with his teeth (you were almost sure it was supposed to be a kiss). "I've been patrolling on horseback for years."

Joel shrugged and looked down at you with a smirk. "Who knows? Maybe I should have told him you were waiting for me to come home and make you fall apart on my fingers," he said dismissively, but his tone did nothing to stop your stomach from flipping.

"Oh," you said dumbly, cursing yourself inwardly for how easily you were rendered speechless in his presence. "He'll...he'll really let us take the day off?" Your mind swam with the possibilities of what you could do with an entire day.

He shook his head. "Not us, darlin'. Just you." Tracing the line of your jaw, his lips twisted into a dry smirk. "I'll have to go tomorrow. But," he whispered, squeezing a hand on your hip and cocking an eyebrow at the way your legs wobbled," I'd gladly go every morning all by myself if it meant you were in your bed all day, daydreamin' about me."

It was a heavier confession that you'd expected out of him, and you let out a breathy sigh. "In the morning then," you asked. You swallowed roughly in an attempt to push down the lump of pure need that had risen in your chest, but to no avail.

Joel nodded firmly. "Trust me," he hummed, "in the morning."

So you'd led him to your bed with no more discussion. It hadn't occurred to you that he might not stay the night; he'd come to your place after the meeting like he'd said, and it was the middle of the night. Why wouldn't he have stayed the night?

Despite everything in you fighting to stay awake, the second you returned to your mattress and pulled the covers up, your eyelids drooped. Joel stood at the end of the bed and shed his jacket slowly. "Sleep, doll," he said, his voice echoing in the otherwise silent room as he bent to kick off his boots. "I'll be here when you wake up."

—

Was he getting too close? Was he pushing the boundaries too far, too soon? Probably.

Selfishly, Joel didn't much care.

—

Sure enough—when morning came, when the dull winter sunlight crept into your house and draped the floor in soft yellow, you felt the dip of your mattress beside you and betrayed Joel's presence. He'd stayed. Like he said.

Quite the dedicated teacher, you thought to yourself with a satisfied warmth. You'd felt him climb into bed last night, but despite your every wish for him to press himself to your back and hold you tightly the whole night, he'd kept at least a foot of space between your bodies. Always close enough to touch, but never giving in.

You rolled over and swiped a hand over your face, a few stray strands falling into your eyes. The breath left your chest when you saw him there, eyes open and waiting for you. "Hi," you said, your voice rough with sleep. Again with the monosyllabic responses, you scolded yourself.

Joel hummed, the deep rumble of his voice reverberating through the mattress and into your body. "Looked so sweet like that, darlin'," he mused, his rough hands tucked under his head. He reached one of them toward you and tapped your bottom lip, plump with sheep, with two of his fingertips. "Didn't wanna wake you up."

"You didn't." You weren't sure what made you do it, but you moved closer, shifting your entire body until your nose almost brushed his. Your eyes flitted up to look at the way his graying hair laid messily around the crown of his head, haircuts neglected for who knew how long. "Can we...I want to start now," you mumbled.

His jaw ticked, and he looked like he was swallowing down a grin. "Look at you," he cooed, "so eager. Aren't you hungry, doll?"

You bit your lip and you could have sworn you saw his eyes widen. "Starving," you fumbled over the word, imitating his response to you the night before on your porch.

Joel let go of a chuckle and his eyes danced with mirth. "Always turnin' my words back on me, aren't ya?" When you nodded sheepishly, he slid his hand around to cup the back of your head and he pulled you in, connecting his lips with yours. "Okay, pretty girl," he said. "We'll start. Since you asked so nicely."

His lips were chapped from the cold weather but they were still soft as he pressed them to yours, moving lazily as the two of you blinked away the last clutches of sleep. "Always so soft, these lips," he murmured, and then his hand was moving from your neck to your chest. "Everyone's different, yeah? There's these spots on everyone's body," he said, absentmindedly drawing swirls along the expanse of your chest, making you shiver. "Let's call them...pleasure points."

"Pleasure points," you repeated breathlessly, your stomach fluttering as he rolled a nipple between his thumb and forefinger. "Is that—"

He grinned with a nod. "Think I just found one of 'em, doll." He rolled you onto your back and bent his head down, his breath fanning over your chest and warming you through your thin pajama shirt. "This is how we get you all ready for me, when the time comes."

You nodded quietly and let out a shaky sigh as his hands wandered. He pressed a kiss to your forehead and you practically preened at the feeling of his lips against your skin while his hands squeezed and caressed your breasts, moving over your stomach. "Joel—"

He paused, hand hovering over the hem of your shirt. "What, babygirl?"

You couldn't help the whine that fought its way out of your throat. "Please," you whimpered, squeezing your eyes shut at the pressure that writhed in your core.

Joel's fingers lifted the hem of your shirt, his mouth widening in a grin at the way that your stomach rose and fell in spattered pants. "Come on, darlin'," he crooned, "open those pretty eyes for me. Gotta see you, doll."

It was all you could do not to take his hand in your own and shove it to your core where you needed him desperately, but you did as he asked.

"That's it, baby," he breathed, good girl."

You'd become familiar with the way your stomach clenched at his use of pet names, but this was new. You had done well for him. You wanted to stay that way. "Will you touch me please? I need—"

"So eager," he murmured, leaning in with his lips to your earlobe. "Lemme take my time with you, dollface." And then his lips were wrapping to the soft part of your ear, his teeth grazing at your skin. Paired with this sensation and the heady feeling of his hand on your waistband, fumbling to push his hand beneath it, you arched your back and released a series of high-pitched whines.

"JoelJoelJoelpleasepleaseplease," you were overcome with the pure, unbridled need that was speeding through your body like a tidal wave on a summer day.

"Alright, darlin', alright," he acquiesced, pushing his hand into your waistband and pulling it down over your hips. You didn't even have the mind to be shy about being laid bare to him this way; you just needed him to touch you.

Before you could beg him again, he had his fingertip on your core, sliding it gently through your slick heat. "Oh, baby," he groaned, rutting his hips against your side. His bulge pressed into your hip and you flexed your fingers to reach for it. "M'never gettin' used to how wet you are for me," his voice shook.

One finger became two, and then his fingertips were rubbing sweet circles to your sensitive bud, drawing near pornographic moans to tumble past your lips. "Can I touch you, please?" you begged, your hand fisting your bedsheets. "Wanna touch you, Joel, please."

He hummed against your ear as he swiped another finger against your bud and lifted your hand to his lips. "Sure thing, doll," he said, and placed it in his hair. Your fingers instinctually carded through the coarse strands, and you blushed when his eyes fluttered closed. "Hold on tight if you need to, pretty girl," he grinned, and lemme know if it's too much."

You were going to ask if what was too much, but then he dipped his finger further down your core, notching it at the small opening. You hadn't even thought this far ahead, that things would eventually lead here. Something pulsed and you whined, tugging his hair in your hand.

"Look at you, so ready for me," he murmured against your neck. His tongue swept out to lick a small stripe along the sensitive skin there and when you let out a stuttering breath he chuckled. "You are ready for me, aren't ya, pretty girl?"

You couldn't nod fast enough. "Please," you choked out, and then he was pressing his finger inside you.

It was a small intrusion, but overwhelming all the same. In all your years, you'd never had the thought that it could feel this good to have him close to you like this. He was only as far as the first knuckle, but with the way that his bulge was nudging your hips, he wanted much more. "Good girl," he breathed, "such a good girl, openin' your legs like this."

"Wanna touch you," you whimpered again, vision blurring with the desperation that coursed through your veins. "Please, Joel, let me touch you."

He kissed you, but you could hardly focus enough to move your lips against his. "Already touchin' me," he said. "You want more?"

"Yes," you nodded feverishly, releasing your hand from his hair. "I wanna..." you looked down at his bulge and licked your lips.

Joel's eyes were wide as he whispered, "For fuck's sake, darlin', when you're cryin' about it..." he swiped a thumb across your cheeks, collecting a teardrop you hadn't even known was there. "How could I say no?"

Thankyouthankyouthankyou were the only words in your mind, a jumbled mess as you reached for him. Your finger traced his length and before you knew it, you were reaching inside his boxers to release it from its constraints. "Holy fuck," you whined, bucking your hips into his hand as you saw just how big he was, long and thick and heavy in your hand. "Need it," you found yourself whispering. "Need you."

It was all you could do before he pushed his finger further, then out, and then in, just enough to throw you closer to that addicting edge of ecstasy. Once again, you found yourself enveloped in the thick pressure of pure desire in his arms.

He pressed the pad of his thumb to your bud and swirled circles in your heat, his lips connecting to your ear once more. "Alright, baby. Alright, baby," he practically chanted in a low tone, nibbling on your lobe just hard enough to pinch the skin. "C'mon now, squeeze my finger like that, that's it," he groaned, drawing out the final two syllables, "good girl."

With his hand in the crux of your legs and his mouth connected to your ear, whispering the filthiest things you'd ever heard in your sheltered life, you threw your head back into the pillow and curled your legs toward him, your hand squeezing his cock tightly as you continued your strokes.

The sounds that erupted from your throat as you burst in a state of pure pleasure were the most pitiful (and yet electrifying) noises you'd ever heard yourself make, and you couldn't help but continue rolling your hips into his hands, chasing the feeling until it became more intense and your legs began to twitch again. "Joel," you mewled, voice breaking, "I need you."

A teasing chuckle sounded, and your cheeks warmed as he removed his hand from your slick. "So much you don't know, dollface," he crooned, tracing his index down the line of your nose. He pushed another, shining with your release, into your mouth. The sweetness nearly made you fall apart again. "Don't know if you're ready for that."

Your body was on fire, nearly throbbing with the insatiable need to be wrapped in his arms, with his hands everywhere, his lips anywhere. Your hand had been moving on his shaft, but his hips stuttered with your next words. "I am," you insisted, "I need you, please. I wanna feel you everywhere."

Joel's pupils went wide and he shuddered out a breath, mumbling a string of curses with his eyes shut. He thrusted his hips into your hand and then your skin was sticky and warm with his own release, some of it landing on your stomach where you lay beside him.

"Shit," he groaned with a rueful smirk. "Maybe I'm not ready for that yet." His breath fanned deliciously over your skin as he continued. "Can't hardly last long enough with the thought of stretching you out like that, baby."

You grinned, and you didn't mind the fact that he could definitely see the flush in your cheeks. "No?"

He shook his head. "Fuck no. I don't wanna think about how quickly I'll come if I were to be inside that pretty pussy yet," he said with a short and gentle tap to your mound. When your hips arched off the mattress and you whined at the sensitivity, he cooed apologetically.

"Isn't that a good thing?" you frowned slightly. "I thought I was making you feel good."

"Makin' me feel too good," he mused, bringing his hand up to hold your face toward him once more. He winked. "Can't have me comin' before you do, sweet girl. Not very gentlemanly of me."

You couldn't help the pang of doubt that clouded your face, and it must have been obvious, because then he was cupping the back of your head and pulling you to his chest. Humming into your neck, he smirked. "Besides, I want to be able to take my sweet time with you. To see you squirmin' beneath me like you do, baby? S'enough to make the pope leave the goddamn church."

tysm for reading, i can't believe you guys convinced me to write MORE filth for these two. u made it to the end, lemme know what you thought!

[decayedgloria]

sundress szn pt. 2

pt. 2 ft. scaramouche, sandrone, pantalone, and childe

Summer’s finally come, so you decide to wear something that fit the occasion- much to your lover’s excitement.

tags: nsfw under cut, public/semi public sex in almost all of these, I got carried away during pantalone’s, harbingers x afab! Reader (minus signora this time bc I genuinely cannot think of smth for her rn but I can promise in the future that she may be in one of these.), slight ooc maybe? mdni.

word count: ~2.2k, I wrote these half asleep on a nine hour flight these are not going to be proofread

Scaramouche

This was a good idea. Totally. Sumeru’s just much, much more humid than Snezhnaya, which was something you were willing to get used to. You were absolutely fine. 

How you wished you were right.

Even in the shade of the Grand Bazaar you could still feel the light sheen of sweat begin to form on your skin as you hastily fan yourself, occasionally observing your surroundings for your boyfriend. As a newly-inducted Vahumana student, he was bound to get busy, so it left you with a lot of time on your hands. Too much time. But hey, it got you a new dress so who are you to complain?

It reminded you of when you were both in the Fatui, the Harbinger and his loyal partner, who were too busy to really see each other until he whisked you away to Sumeru. You assumed it would be different this time, but it had dawned on you recently that it would take quite a while to get there (not that it wasn’t deserved, he had a lot to atone for after all.)

But it still disheartened you. You would be lying if you said that it didn’t. You missed his hugs and his presence, no matter how much you annoyed each other you always seemed to find a way to touch each other. And on nights he would be up in the Akademiya studying, leaving you alone in your shared bed, your thoughts wandered to those scarce intimate moments you shared- nights where his chest was pressed against yours, with that stupid smirk on his face as he fucked you silly. Just thinking about those nights made a familiar heat rise in between your legs, making you curse as your cheeks reddened. 

Archons, first the heat, and now this? Scaramouche had better hurry, you felt like you were going to be torched alive at this rate.

Thankfully, you did not need to wait long. Looking into the crowd again, your eyes met with a familiar pair of tired purple ones, much to your delight. You hopped off the bench you sat on and beelined your way to the grouchy purple boy, a smile blossoming on your face as you get closer to him. He doesn’t return the same excitement, content to just catch you in his arms like he always does. You don’t seem to mind, though, as you were too preoccupied with burying your face into his chest.

“Scara…” You whined, pouting your lips. “What took you so long? Do you know how hot it is in here? I almost died.” Expecting a smart retort from him, you were thoroughly surprised at the next words that came out of his mouth.

“What on earth are you wearing?”

There was no malice and spite in his voice, just irritated confusion. Which, in turn, confused you, prompting you to release your position against his chest and stare at him with an eyebrow raised.

“Do you not like it? I got it a while ago.” You hesitantly let go of his embrace, spinning once to let him see the whole dress. It was perfect for a hot day- light and airy, revealing as much skin as possible without spilling everything out. When you turned back to him, his face had gotten redder, but his eyes stayed on you- more specifically, your figure. 

“Aw, what’s got you blushing, Scara?” Your teasing tone was met with a glare, and a pathetic attempt to hide his face by looking away. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“So you don’t like my dress?”

“That’s not the problem.” Suddenly, he grabbed your hand and pulled you towards him again, lowering his head so he could murmur into your ear, “I like it too much. Fix it. Now.”

With that, he dragged you to the nearest concealed spot- behind some crates that barely covered the both of you. When you emerged, all that was left of your dress was the tattered skirt that barely hung on to your body as Scaramouche placed his jacket over your top, that same stupid, hot smirk on his face.

Sandrone

Sandrone tried. Really, she did. But she could not help it in the slightest.

The seventh harbinger has a reputation for being a recluse, cooping herself up in her lab toying with her automatons all day. On the rare occasion she did speak to someone, her tone only seemed to indicate annoyance and malice- she didn’t mind since it drove people away. However, things changed the day you were assigned to work under her; suddenly, she didn’t hate the world that much anymore.

Certainly not when you’re dressed like this.

A quick trip to the ruins of Liyue, both as a break and to gather intel, made you a bit… adventurous, with your outfits to say the least. The entire time you had walked around Qiongji Estuary, Sandrone could not help but linger her stare just a little bit longer than usual. Your outfit consisted of a short dress, loosely clinging around your body, but it made you look so alluring in her eyes. A perpetual blush seemed to occupy her face, which you had innocently chalked up to the heat.

As her automatons roam around in search for whatever she had told them to find, Sandrone busied herself under a makeshift tent inspecting what seemed to be an artifact encased in cor lapis, tinkering with the ore as if it were a toy. You were by her side, head on her shoulder, observing your lover with loving eyes. Your subtle touches combined with your warm breathing had already put her on edge, but she continued nonetheless.

However, the last straw came when you stood up a little to grab something on the other side of Sandrone, aptly placing your bosom right in front of her face. So, forgive her for breaking her composure and pulling you back onto the ground, dirtying your dress as she straddles you eagerly while crashing her lips into your own before you could react.

“You’re so fond of distractions…” She said breathlessly, hands all but dying to get your tits out of your dress for her nimble fingers to play with. You moaned in response, a bit taken aback at her suddeness. Looking up at your blushing, desperate girlfriend, you decided to tease her just a little bit.

“I was just trying to help, Sandrone.” Your tone feigned innocence, which only fueled her frustration. She caught your lips with fervor as one hand pinched your nipple, and the other tugged on your hair, all while grinding down on you.

“Shut up and fuck me, please.” 

Pantalone

Pantalone was a man of many talents. One of those talents happens to be spoiling you rotten. Too rotten sometimes. But who were you to complain? The richest man in Teyvat was wrapped around your finger, and you couldn’t help but be a little cheeky and take advantage of that sometimes.

What should’ve been a business trip to Liyue to check the Northland Bank’s activities turned into Pantalone emptying out every boutique in the harbor so you can get a new wardrobe for summer. At one particular store, where there were no other customers besides you and your husband, you had decided to try on some dresses that caught your attention. On one hand, you really did want a few more relaxed additions, but on the other hand, well…

You had emerged from your dressing room not long ago, and yet you were already sat firmly on top of your husband, head in his neck as you try to brace yourself against the waiting room’s couch. Under you, Pantalone only gave you his usual, sly grin as his hands firmly hold you in his lap, keeping you in place as you grind on his ever-growing erection.

“I think this dress looks lovely on you dear.” He whispered, taking in the sight of you writhing on top of him desperately. Chuckling, his hand makes it way all the way to your ass, hiking up the long dress before giving it a smack. You moaned in response, hiding your face in his neck, hands raking over his toned chest.

“You simply look ravishing in it.” He continued his assault on your body, propping you up just a little bit so he had a clear view of your chest, kissing you quickly before delving in between your tits. Archons, he was impatient- he made you impatient. You confess, you did think the dress would get a rise out of him, which was why you picked it first when trying clothes on, but to think he would be this roused by it filled you with a titulating thrill only he was capable of causing.

“Ah- Does the dress make you- ngh… this excited, love?” Despite your teasing words, it was clear that you weren’t the one in control as you rocked your hips to feel even a little bit of relief from the growing ache in between your legs. Pantalone didn’t say anything back, rather he took off his gloves and positioned his fingers over your mouth, commanding you in a husky tone.

“Open up and suck them, darling. I’ll have plenty more for you.”

Childe

“Fuck you mean no?”

“You just aren’t going out like that.” Childe deadpanned, crossing his arms. “It’s a pretty dress for sure though.” The contrasting grin on his freckled face made you want to punch him, though it also illicited some questionable butterflies in your stomach.

Nobody quite knew what you and Childe were. On the surface level, one could assume that you two were just close friends; however, if they took the time to observe how Childe’s touch always lingered for a little too long, or how you stared at him with such bold adoration in your eyes as you smiled at him- it would be quite obvious that there were unspoken feelings for each other somewhere there.

It was quite common for you to visit his office in the Northland Bank like today. You really just wanted to show him the new dress you made for yourself, and figured you could flirt with him a little bit- not that he’d catch the hint. He always did treat you just like a good friend, something that disappointed you a little bit.

Because as it stands, right now, with him towering over you with his arms crossed, a grin on his handsome face- somehow, you’re horny because of this smug bastard. You imagine how good it would be to just smash your lips on his just to shut him up because Archons, is it tempting.

“I’d like to show off what I’ve made for myself,” you huffed at him, pouting. “I’ll go ahead and stroll the streets as I please with or without you then.” You try to turn and leave, expecting him to just laugh and go back to work. However before you could even step towards the door’s direction Childe’s strong hands snaked around your waist, pulling you firmly back.

Without much warning, you fell back into his chest letting out a small yelp. Once you realize the position you were in, you froze- your cheeks heating up an unbearable amount as you try to wriggle away from the (much) stronger man. It only became worse when he placed his lips right on top of your ear, chuckling lowly.

“C’mon… I can’t have all of Liyue see my girl this good.” He remarked lowly, trailing his lips down until they settled on the base of your neck, to which he then placed a gentle kiss. “They might be tempted to steal you away from me, and we can’t have that, can we?.” You’d be lying if you said that didn’t turn you on so fucking much, trying your best to hide it by pulling your legs closer together.

“We aren’t dating though? What do you mean-“ You let out a moan as he started sucking at the same spot, his lips forming a smile as they worked. Your hands flew to his arm on your waist, turning yourself around to meet his gaze. He lifted his head, lips puffy and blue eyes glazed over with lust. 

“Everyone in Liyue knows that we want each other. Why not give in?” He pressed his forehead against yours, lips deliciously close to yours as he placed his hands on your waist. 

“Only if you want to.” Was your sheepish reply, slightly embarassed to be this close to the man you’ve been covering for months. Was it really this easy? Is it just another one of his pranks? You weren’t sure, but at this point you didn’t care much, especially after he launched his lips straight at you in a fervent kiss. His hands lifted you up, haphazardly swiping away everything on his desk and placing you on it while your fingers tangled in his hair.

Both of you fumble with each other’s clothes, but Childe took extra care in taking the sight of your dress halfway off your body, admiring the view. He suddenly brings his hand up to your chest, flicking your nipple. You moan in both surprise and pleasure, burying your face into his bare shoulder.

“Be as loud as you want girlie. I want everyone here to know who’s finally got you.”

pt 2 is finally out yall i can rest

i wrote these on my way to and from london on the plane and i am sick bro i just wanna sleep (jet lag and chugging redbulls prevent me from catching a break tbh)

hope yall enjoy, this did take a little bit longer to make tho so i apologize for that.

[heavenlyhischier]

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫 𝐍𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐌𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬 - 𝐉𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐇𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐞𝐬

word count: 3.4k

summary: Friends with benefits never worked, especially when that friend had been by your side longer than not, and even more so when both of you were too scared to admit your feelings out loud. While jealousy was a nasty thing, it always brought the truth out.

warnings: implications of smut but no actual smut, kissing, angst, jealous dickhead jack, misunderstandings, pining

For as long as you could remember, you’d spent the majority of your summer with the Hughes’ at their lake house. You’d beg and beg your mom to let you go with them, even though she said yes every time. You’d spend the week before you were supposed to leave with them packing and making sure you brought everything you thought you could possibly need. Jack had always poked fun at you and called you an over packer, but you told him you like to think of it as better prepared for any disaster that could potentially happen.

Now that you were older, not much had changed in most of those aspects. You still asked your mom to ensure that nothing was occurring over summer that you couldn’t miss, and you still very much overpacked. However, there were two small differences now. The lake house you visited now belonged to Jack and Quinn as opposed to their parents, yet you still visited them as often as you could, and your relationship with Jack was a bit different.

After one drunken night during your week-long visit to Jersey, you found yourself tangled in his sheets and woke up the following morning in his arms. You had woken up before Jack, and memories of what occurred only hours ago flooded your mind at a speed that made you dizzy and nauseous. Though maybe that was more courtesy of how much you had drank the prior night. When you tried to slip out of the sheets, his grip on your waist tightened and he pulled you closer into his chest.

“You runnin’ away,” His tired voice vibrated against your shoulder as his thumb caressed the skin of your hip.

“No,” You whispered, hoping he couldn’t hear or feel just how loudly your heart was beating in your chest, “Maybe.”

Jack’s laughter rumbled against your back as he flexed his arm against you, and you couldn’t help but let your body relax against him, your eyes fluttering closed as your breathing steadies. His body was warm against yours, and you let reminders of him pressed against you as he whispered sinful things in your ear fill your head. It was a night you were surely to never forget, but the uncertainty of this morning made the nagging feeling of anxiety linger.

“You can get up if you want,” He mumbled as he began to place small, open mouthed kisses to the skin where your neck and shoulder meet, “Or we can go for round four.”

Needless to say, you didn’t end up leaving Jack’s bed that day until well into the afternoon. From that day on, you were constantly walking a fine line that determined your relationship with him, often straying far off the path into unfamiliar territory when you found yourself in his bed all over again. Neither of you dared to have the conversation of what it meant to the other, instead choosing to live in the moment and just hope and pray that nothing was ruined. But of course, that was wishful thinking and it all came apart at the seams over the summer.

When you arrived at the lake house like you always did every summer, it was the same as every year before. Jack was waiting in the driveway to carry your bags inside and up to the room right beside the one he always claimed as his own. He stayed in your room, perched on the edge of the bed as he talked your ear off while you unpacked your things. However, this time he made subtle, inappropriate comments when you pulled out a bikini or a bra that was a little see through.

His words rang in your ears, a deep blush decorating your cheeks as you shook your head and kept putting your things where you always had. You heard the sound of the bed groan followed by the sound of his footsteps nearing you, and your heart began to thud in your chest. His hand carefully grabbed your hip, turning your body so that you were now facing him with your chest flush against his own.

You peered up at him, your eyes wide as he looked down at you with a smug smirk on his face. His fingers were delicately pressing into the flesh on your hips, his eyes dancing across your face as he slowly leaned forward. It was what he always did when he wanted to kiss you; it was his way of making sure you were okay with it without asking because asking made what the two of you were doing much more real.

“Jack,” You breathed out as his lips ghost over your own, your hands nervously fisting the material of his shirt, “What if someone walks in?”

“They won’t,” He whispers, placing a small kiss to the corner of your mouth,  “You just have to be quiet.”

When you went back downstairs, you avoided eye contact with everyone in fear that they heard the escapades you and Jack were up to only moments prior. None of them seemed to have heard anything, though, based on the way they only stopped their conversations to greet you rather than to give you knowing looks. However, Quinn did glance between you and his brother far too many times for you to not think he didn’t suspect something.

The first couple of weeks of the summer went by as they always did with only a slight change. While everyone still spent a good majority of their time outside or on the water, you and Jack would often sneak away on your own to explore each other's bodies in ways that made you blush to even think about. Every time the boys would drag you to the golf course to be their self appointed cart girl, Jack would leave lingering touches on the curve of your ass or he’d whisper comments in your ear that left you with clenching thighs.

Truthfully, you were surprised that no one had noticed, or at least no one had said anything about it. Your room was directly in between Jack’s and the one that Trevor and Alex shared, and the fact that they hadn’t heard the two of you at night truly baffled you. You did your best to keep quiet, but the bed you slept on creaked with every passing movement and no attempt at fixing it ever worked. Either way, you were grateful your bedroom activities seemed to go undetected.

You never let yourself really think too much on how you felt about Jack, but the more often you found him telling you how beautiful you were, how much he worshiped your body, the harder it got to ignore those feelings. The more often you found yourself encased in his arms, the harder it got to tell yourself that you hadn’t fallen for the boy you’d known almost your entire life. 

“I thought this was supposed to be a few people,” You laughed as you scoured the sea of people for familiar faces.

“That’s what Quinn said, but I’m sure Jack and Trevor went overboard with inviting every girl they met,” Alex laughs as he hands you a drink from the cooler.

There was no stopping the way your chest burned with jealousy as you thought about Jack inviting other girls, but you knew you had no right to feel that way. He wasn’t your boyfriend. Hell, the two of you never even claimed to be exclusive with just each other when it came to hooking up. It was a thought you tried not to dwell on too much because it made bile form in your throat and frustrated tears prick your eyes.

It didn’t help that you hadn’t seen him since people started filtering in through the front door. He had left a little earlier in the day, only telling you that he would be back later, nut he had yet to come back. You had texted him and asked him if he was okay, but your text was left unanswered and that did nothing to cease the nerves twisting and turning in your stomach.

“Yeah, probably,” You forced out, your lips forming a tight line as you looked away from Alex.

You followed him out to the back deck with Cole, doing your best to ignore the anxious nagging in your chest as you mingled with those around you. There were quite a few people you had never met, and you were doing your best to remember whose name was whose, but it was a little difficult when your mind was elsewhere. All you could think about was Jack and the fact that maybe he was too busy with another girl to even remember you. 

It wasn’t long after you had gone outside that everyone migrated to the chairs by the water, but there weren’t enough for each person to have their own seat, so you ended up in Alex’s lap. It wasn’t necessarily uncommon for you to end up in the lap of one of the boys, but it was uncommon for it to be someone other than Jack. Alex was respectful and kept one hand on his drink and the other resting on the arm rest, not touching you in a way that could potentially make you uncomfortable. However, if anyone were to glance at the two of you, you know what assumption they would make.

Everything still felt slightly off without Jack at your side, but you slowly let yourself enjoy what was going on around you rather than think about him and what he was doing. You fell into conversations easily, laughing with the others as they told their stories. Eventually you got tired of sitting straight up and leaned back onto Alex to relax. The both of you knew it meant nothing, but if you were on the outside looking in, it meant you were making a sort of silent declaration to everyone that you were off limits.

Jack had spent the last several hours going to every store he could in search of your favorite drink because he knew how much you hated what they always had at the house. He knew you would never say anything because you never wanted to inconvenience anyone, so he always took it upon himself to get it for you. However, when he had gotten back with Trevor after he finally managed to find it, the last thing he expected to see was you cuddled up against his friend's chest.

“Did you find her– Oh, there she is,” Trevor spoke over the loud music coming from the speakers in the living room, “Is that Alex?”

Jack said nothing in response, instead turning on his heels and going back towards the kitchen with Trevor watching him in confusion. He placed the drink he had grabbed for you back in the fridge, tucked behind whatever items he could use to keep them hidden so no one took them. He grabbed a drink of his own before he silently slipped into the crowd of people, trying to force the image his mind had curated of you underneath a body that wasn’t his own.

You had no idea Jack was back until Alex had gotten up to go play beer pong with one of the other guys and you had made the decision to go back inside. It was Trevor that you saw first as he was leaning against the wall next to some tall redhead you vaguely remember seeing earlier. You furrowed your brows in confusion because if he was back, so was Jack, and that meant that Jack hadn’t bothered to find you or even tell you. 

Your chest tightens as you let your thoughts drift more into the possibility that Jack had found another girl for the night. There was no stopping yourself from searching for him amongst the horde of party goers, standing on your toes to give yourself a better view. You made awkward eye contact with a few people, but you didn’t pay them any mind as you searched for the one person you were looking for. Though the second your gaze finally settled on him, the room began to spin and the voices around you faded into almost nothing.

He had his arm thrown around the shoulders of one of the girls you recognized from the filling station for the boats, a smile on his face as she animatedly talked to him. Your heels fell flat on the ground as you dropped your eyes to the floor, doing your best to keep your emotions at bay as you stood frozen in your spot. It felt like a million needles were poking at your lungs, like someone was wrapping their hands around your throat making it almost impossible to breathe.

You had to force yourself to move, to get away from the situation occurring only a few feet away from you, before you let the thread that was holding you together finally snap. It was pure instinct that moved your feet towards the stairs of the house, and you hoped that your presence would go undetected as you brushed by the group that Jack was in the middle of. 

However, unbeknownst to you, Jack saw you the second you stepped foot inside the house, his eyes drawn to you in the same way a magnet was drawn to metal. He had to make himself look away from you as the girl he had been using as a distraction continued a story he wasn’t really paying attention to. Though, when he saw you slip up the stairs out of the corner of his eye, she was long forgotten as he hastily followed after you before he even knew what he was doing.

Blood was rushing in your ears as you blinked away tears that were pricking the corners of your eyes, the sounds of the party below you fading into nothing but an obnoxious hum. You were oblivious to the sound of Jack’s footsteps behind you as you pushed your way into your room, and you didn’t register the fact that you never heard the sound of the door closing behind you. It wasn’t until you heard him call out your name that you knew you weren’t alone.

You turned on your heels, eyes wide as they meet his own. He carefully shuts the door behind him, taking a few strides until he’s so close to you that you can see the confliction swimming in his gaze. His fingers twitch towards you the same way your own do towards him, but neither of you make an attempt to close the small gap separating you. His eyes are unwavering from your face as if he was trying to get a read on you, trying to figure out what your next move was.

“Did he do something,” Jack asked, a dull anger forming in his chest once he noticed the unshed tears lining your eyes.

“Who,” You sniffled, knitting your brows together in confusion.

“Alex,” He said as if it was the most obvious answer in the world, which it was. To him.

You slightly narrowed your eyes at him, not understanding exactly why he assumed Alex had been the reason for your escape, but then it slowly pieced itself together. Jack must have seen you with Alex when you were outside. He must’ve seen the way you were seated in his lap and made the same assumption many others had, but even then, it confused you. Why would he care if he was off with another girl?

 There was a multitude of emotions filling the room around you, meshing together like an uncomfortable quilt had been thrown over the two of you. His lips were slightly parted as he looks at you, the light filtering in through the window illuminating his face in a way that made him look like he was glowing. It made the desire to surge forward and kiss him almost impossible to suppress. Almost.

“Alex didn’t do anything,” You shook your head, averting your gaze away from his own, “Why do you think he did something?”

Jack nervously clears his throat before speaking, trying to keep his tone as neutral as possible, “You two looked pretty cozy outside, and you looked upset when I saw you, so I just assumed.”

His attempt at appearing indifferent failed miserably, like it always did. Jack had never been very good at hiding his distaste in his body language, and that showed in the way his eyes narrowed and his fist balled at his side even if it was only for a fleeting second. He wore his emotions on his sleeve, but that didn’t mean they made any sense to you. 

“Not sure why you care,” You rolled your eyes as you crossed your arms against your chest, an angry annoyance slowly replacing whatever you had been feeling before, “You looked pretty cozy yourself with fill station girl.”

“At least she wasn’t in my lap practically telling everyone she wanted to fuck me,” He scoffed, his voice clipped and harsh.

“Do you think I would still be up here, with you, if I wanted to fuck Alex,” You snapped, ignoring the way your heart was thudding so loudly in your chest that you wouldn’t be surprised if he could hear it.

“Do you think I would follow you up here if I wanted anything to do with her,” He countered, his gaze fiery and burning into your own.

“Not sure, maybe she wasn’t going to give you what you wanted and you think I will,” You mocked as your voice cracked, a few tears managing to slip down your cheeks.

Jack’s eyes softened the moment he saw your impassive demeanor falter. He slowly and hesitantly brought his hands to your face to cradle your jaw in his palms, “I’m sorry, baby. I’m sorry. I know that I shouldn’t have done that, but seeing you with Alex. I got jealous and angry, even though I shouldn't have.”

His touch is warm as he wipes at the tears on your skin, your entire body heating up as he kept your focus on him. He’s looking at you like he’s waiting for you to tell him exactly what he wants, what he needs to hear. Jack wants you to tell him that he had no reason to get jealous. Not because he had no right, but because it was only him that you wanted.

“You’re right,” You breathe out, hoping that you were reading the situation correctly, “You shouldn’t have done that. I don’t want Alex like that, and I never will, but do you know who I do want?”

He swallows thickly, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he quietly asks, “Who?”

“You.”

Finally, Jack closes the gap between you by slamming his lips on your own in a way that would’ve knocked you over if it hadn’t been for his hold on you. Your hands instinctively fly up to his shirt, fisting the material as you kiss him back, falling into nothing but the way his lips feel on yours. No matter how many times you kissed him, it was like you were experiencing it for the first time all over again.

He carefully walks backwards to your bed, not breaking away from you once as he drops his hands to your hips. He slowly falls back onto the mattress, pulling you onto his lap as you place your knees on either side of his thighs. Your hands find their way up to tangle in his hair, gently tugging on the strands to elicit a quiet groan that vibrates against your mouth. 

“I want you, too,” He mumbles as he begins to kiss down your jaw and to the column of your neck, “I want to tell everyone you’re my girl. I want to be able to kiss you in public. I want all of you.”

“What do I get in return,” You breathlessly tease, your head falling backwards as Jack explores your neck with his mouth.

“You’ve always had me, baby, so you can have whatever you want.”

“Can I drive the boat when you wake surf tomorrow?”

“You can have anything but that.”

[dinogoofymutated]

Hi there! I'm currently watching the original X men series to catch up to 97, and I'm in love with Gambit.

Would it be possible to ask for Remy and reader to be on a secret mission, and the Ole "make out so they don't suspect us" trope comes in, and gambit kinda (obviously) has feelings...?

It could be sfw or nsfw, either is perfect! Thank you for all that you do, I've been trying to find fics for the xmen for a while 🙏🙏

Kinda spicy! Gambit/GN!reader

YESS!! YESSSS!!! I legit had a dream about this situation with remy the day before you sent me this ask and I was cackling in joy when I saw this! I basically hyperfixated on it because I love this trope.

TWS: sexual themes n shit, no explicit smut. As always, reader written while picturing fem! but no specific pronouns mentioned. Semi-public making out and touching. Nipples be touched but size and type of breast not mentioned.

-Ps- reader can see heat signatures for plot purposes. I usually try to keep powers ambiguous but it was a NEED!

"In here, quick!" Remy's thick draw catches your attention, just before he yanks you into an alley. The two of you were in New Orleans, looking for a specific mutant Xavier wanted to talk to. The only downside was that Remy still had a warrant out for his arrest, and wanted posters plastered all over the city from bourbon Street to the garden district.

"Don't worry Cher. You said. NOPD 'dumber than a sack of rocks, you said!" You gripe at him. Remy laughs, tugging you around the corner. The alleyways on Burbon street are mostly private areas, owned and sealed off by the bars that line the storefronts- but Remy knew this city like the back of his hand. However, things had changed since he was here last. That became apperent when the two of you reach the end of the alleyway and there's a brand new brick wall, a dead end.

Remy curses and skids to a stop, causing you to slam into his back. You send him a dirty look as you whip around, eyes adjusting to the brick surroundings. It's hard to make out the figures of the cops through the walls of the busy bar in in front of you, too many people crowding the street for drinks even this late at night. You strain your eyes a bit, but are able to make out the stiff-shouldered men, heat signature slightly elevated from booking it after the two of you. Unfortunately, they're headed towards the mouth of the alleyway.

"Damnit." You mutter, turning back to Remy. He understands what you mean just by looking at your face. He hums, thinking for a moment before he begins to take out a playing card. You grab his arm to stop him, trying to ignore how warm his skin is against your own.

"Don't. The explosion will just lead them to us." You say. Remy nodds, glancing at the corner before suddenly caging you against the wall of the alleyway. You try not to blush as he does so. Remy smirks at you, and you think your heart might just explode. You remind yourself that this is standard Remy behavior, but it doesn't stop your face from heating up. You can only hope it's too dark for him to see you properly.

"Well, there is another way we could fool those pigs." Remy says, quieter than before. You cock an eyebrow at him before looking back over in the direction of the alleyways opening, able to spot the cops as they begin to enter. In your peripheral, you see Remy running his fingers through his hair to flatten it. You open your mouth to ask him what he has in mind, but the sound of footsteps cut you off.

"-Well, if you're going to do something, you better do it quick!" You whisper back at him. Remy pushes you further against the cold brick, his hands drifting down to your waist as he leans over to wisper in your ear.

"Trust me, Cher. I'll take care of you." His words cause goosebumps to rise at the back of your neck, and you hardly have time to react before he's kissing you. Your eyes are blown wide, heart thumping wildly as you start to slowly relax into the kiss.

Unsurprisingly, Remy is a really, really good kisser. It's hard to focus while he's touching you like this, kissing you deeply like he loves you. He nips at your lip, and you gasp, having forgotten about everything else already. His tongue darts into you mouth, caressing the skin he finds there. You let out a small moan as one of his hands drifts lower, caressing your thigh and hiking your leg up just a bit. Your own hands slowly slide up his chest, drifting to his neck.

The heat in your chest is unbearable when Gambit separates from the kiss, a string of spit connecting your mouths before he wipes it away, nothing but affection on his eyes. You're panting for breath while he kisses the corner of your mouth, then your cheek, and then lower. Remy places wet kisses on your neck, sucking and biting as he tries to swallow you whole. You thread your hands through his soft hair as his does so, fully encouraging him to ravage you in whatever way he would like. One of his hands begins to slide under your shirt when a cough startles you out of your heated state.

Your first instinct is to turn towards the noise, but Gambit is quick to cup your cheek and pull you into another heated kiss before your head could move a centimeter. He keeps you occupied as his other hand fully caresses the skin beneath your shirt, squeezing and caressing your breast. You hear another exhausted sigh from the cops. You crack and eye open slightly, knowing they cant see you do so in the dark. One of them begins to raise his voice, but the other smacks him on the shoulder.

"Just another pair of drunks. We've got bigger things to worry about right now." The cop says. You could practically hear the other roll his eyes before they turn to and walk away. Gambit brings your attention back to him and only him when you feel a finger brush lightly against your nipple. You gasp, and Remy chuckles, playfully biting your lip as he pulls away. He's smirking as he looks at you, and you can only imagine what you look like right now.

"Looks like you enjoyed that." He teases, voice low and husky. You can't seem to pull your thought together properly when he's looking at you like that. You nervously look away, hands playing with his collar.

"And if I did?" You ask, glancing back at him to gage his reaction. He looks surprised at first, face morphing into a lovestruck smile before he tries to cover it up with a smirk. Didn't stop you from being able to see the heat rise to his cheeks, however.

"Then gambit thinks we should do this more often."

[nyashykyunnie]

˗ˏˋ Valentines Day Special Fic ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚𝕊𝕦𝕟𝕘 𝕁𝕚𝕟𝕨𝕠𝕠˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

‼️[ My friend silly giving me this idea i had no other V-day special then they reminded me I'm actually a writer so O7 to u bestie ]‼️

╰┈➤ ❝ [ And In Those Eyes I see Heaven; My Heaven] ¡! ❞

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?" Jinwoo muses as he watches your face light up with a soft giggle.

Here he was, in front of you. Sporting a tuxedo that oh-so fits him perfectly that he looks straight of a dream with a bouquet of delicately arranged pink roses he plans to give to you.

Jinwoo had even went so far as to brush his hair neatly and maybe even wax it, making you laugh all the more uncontrollably as he tries to process what is going on exactly.

Silly.

It's so silly, really.

Back then, he was a shy boy who would stutter when he gives you your annual valentines day gift.

Jinwoo really couldn't spend too much money since he needed to save some for later expenses and academic stuff.

So instead he would resort into horribly handmade gifts

He started with the sloppiest and most crudely made paper boquets.

Jinwoo is ashamed of himself, but he couldn't take the gifts back since you would horde them to yourself for safekeeping.

His gifts would range to horribly made papercrafts, to seashells he found by the shore, to necklaces he put together by trinkets.

He would take you out to innocent dates, walking you on quiet parks of seoul. If the parks are too noisy, Jinwoo would go out of his way to search for possible date places.

Maybe it would be you two passing by supposed haunted buildings, maybe you two would be in the bookstore skimming around on the book covers and debating which book would look more fanciful to read than the other, other times he would take you to isolated cafes where only the two of you and the barista would be making noise in the soundless place.

No matter how funny and cute your valentines were, you knew, for sure— That whatever Jinwoo does is from the bottom of his heart.

He would think his efforts are stupid, but secretly that was why you loved him.

It's not because it was expected of a boyfriend, it was because he did something even if he knows he wouldn't do the best.

Jinwoo would always be trying for you, he would always be thoughtful of you, so much so that it makes your heart just cry from his sincerity.

How could someone just be so full of love? How could someone just give their hearts out like that? How is he so sincere?

Even if he were struggling with his odd jobs, even if he was silently crying behind closed doors from the stress living is causing him— Jinwoo always thought of you, he thought of how he could make you happy the next time you meet.

He thought of how he would hide his wounds and gashes from hunts just for you.

He always, always, thought of you.

But little did you knew, he had done some stuff for your attention.

He made those crude gifts because he wanted to see you make fun of him, he wanted to see you burst out laughing and gush about the little thing he made.

He took you to different places because he wanted you to see the more beautiful things of this world, he wanted to show you just how worth it living here is even if the world seems so dark and horrible.

He took you to those quiet little corners so he could hear your voice better without the background noise of anything else.

He often hides his injuries, yes, but sometimes he would purposely let those bandages get lose because he knew you would wrap it up for him. Whether you do it silently or you do it while scolding him, all he cared about, was how beautiful you are right at that moment.

Jinwoo loves you, more than you will ever know, more than any words could ever describe.

The swelling of his heart that never ends, the butterflies in his stomach that keeps fluttering around, and the galaxy he sees in your eyes— Oh how he loved you.

Even if he didn't say 'I love you' 3000' times a day, even if he couldn't give you everything back then— He loved you with all of him just as he does right if not more.

He loves subtly touching your fingers, he loves grazing his fingers on your lovely face, he loves staring at you in a complete daze, he loves running his hands through your soft hair.

Overall, he ust loved touching you and admiring you up close or from afar.

Because so long as you are in front of him, he doesn't really need to think about anything but just....

'Ah,... I love you so much'

Just how can he not spoil you no matter how much he embarasses himself?

And that same flimsy, wimpy and shy little boy, is now a man.

Dressed so handsomely in his suit, upright posture, a proud smile on his face.

This Man...

No

Your Man.

Your Sung Jinwoo

Your Jinwoo.

Not the Shadow Monarch, not the Tenth S-ranker of South Korea, not the World's Strongest hunter.

Just Jinwoo.

Your lovely, lovely, Jinwoo.

Even if he had grown so much, even if he had become so drastically different.

He is still Jinwoo.

The Jinwoo who made you crude paper flowers

The Jinwoo who dragged you into silly places

The Jinwoo who never stops at loving you.

...

"You know..." Jinwoo sighs, chuckling as he ruffles his hair to mess it up a little. "I think this version of me is better than a super formal gentleman, right?"

Yeah.

That's right.

A gentleman Jinwoo is always welcome.

But the Jinwoo who is just him is much... Much more lovable.

"Happy Valentines Day, Love."

[xxspringmelodyxx]

Why Her and Not me?

Here part III is! I hope you all enjoy it! I also wanted to thank you all so much for the love and support on this story! I honestly wasn’t expecting this much feedback, so once again, thank you my lovelies! Enjoy~

Gojo Satoru x F!Reader x Geto Suguru (Angst)

Part I | Part II | Part IV

Several weeks had passed and things were starting to look better for you. Your heart felt lighter, your smile was more genuine, and the weight of your past relationship with Toru seemed to be gradually lifting. You found solace in the supportive presence of your friends, especially Suguru, whose unwavering support and understanding had become a source of comfort during these tumultuous times.

Word of Osaka and Toru making their relationship official spread around fast, and it didn’t take long for it to get to you. At first, hearing about Osaka and Toru's official relationship stung a little. It was a reminder of what could have been, a bittersweet realization that the person you once loved loved someone else. But with each passing day, you found yourself accepting their relationship, understanding that it was time to let go of the past and focus on your own healing journey.

And instead of dwelling on what could have been, you threw yourself into spending quality time with your friends, relishing in the laughter and camaraderie that filled the air whenever you were together. Suguru, in particular, had become a constant presence by your side, serving as a beacon of hope during moments of doubt and uncertainty.

Those weeks turned into months, and as the time flew by, you couldn't help but notice the subtle shifts in your relationship with Suguru. What started as a platonic friendship had evolved into something deeper, a connection that resonated on a soul-deep level. His presence brought you comfort in ways you never thought possible, and you found yourself drawn to him in ways you couldn't fully understand. It was in the little things—the way he would brush a stray hair from your face, the warmth of his hand on your shoulder when you needed reassurance, the genuine concern in his eyes whenever you spoke of your struggles—that made you realize there was something more between you.

You found comfort in his company, cherishing the moments you spent together, whether it was sharing quiet conversations late into the night or simply enjoying each other's presence in comfortable silence. There was an unspoken understanding between you, a sense of mutual respect and admiration that only deepened with each passing day.

But amidst the growing bond between you and Suguru, there lingered a lingering sense of uncertainty. You couldn't shake the feeling that there was something holding you back, a shadow of doubt that whispered reminders of your past heartache with Toru. Despite your growing feelings for Suguru, you couldn't help but wonder if you were ready to open your heart to love again, to risk being hurt once more.

Yet, despite your reservations, you couldn't deny the undeniable pull towards Suguru, the magnetic attraction that seemed to draw you closer with each passing moment. And as you navigated the complexities of your emotions, one thing became clear: no matter what the future held, Suguru had become an integral part of your life, a beacon of light in the darkness, guiding you towards a path of healing and self-discovery.

However, there were still moments every now and then where you caught your mind going back to Toru. It had been a good 6 months since his confession about Osaka, and you did your best to keep your distance and tread carefully around him, mindful of the emotional turbulence that lurked beneath the surface.

Occasionally, you would find yourself in Toru's company, the echoes of your shared history a reminder of both joy and pain. You always made sure, however, that whenever you were with Toru, either Shoko, Hime, or Suguru were with you. You weren’t quite ready to be alone with Toru, not yet anyways.

You figured he wouldn’t notice, and you were right…for a while. Toru seemed completely consumed by his newfound relationship with Osaka. He appeared to be thoroughly enjoying his time with her, often seen buying her gifts and showering her with hugs and subtle kisses. Their affectionate displays only served to reinforce the growing distance between you and Toru, highlighting the undeniable shift in his focus and priorities.

However, it wasn’t long before he started to notice your absence during his relationship. At first, he brushed it off, attributing it to your busy schedule or other commitments. But as days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months, your presence grew increasingly scarce. A sense of unease began to settle in the pit of his stomach as he found himself missing the easy banter and shared laughter that characterized your guys’ time together, the void left by your absence becoming more pronounced with each passing day. It was as if a piece of the puzzle was missing, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't shake the feeling of incompleteness that lingered in your absence.

Whenever Toru and Osaka ventured out together, certain places would trigger memories of him and you, especially your bakery. Passing by it every day with Osaka, Toru couldn't help but be engulfed by the tantalizing scents wafting from its doors. And despite knowing your schedule, he would linger around, hoping to catch a glimpse of you. Maybe even get a chance to finally speak to you. Sometimes, he would wait nearly an hour, yearning to talk to you, to see you again. But you never emerged, leaving him with a hollow ache in his chest.

What’s worse is that he now finds his thoughts often drifting to you, wondering where you were and what you were doing. Were you safe? Were you with someone he knows? Were you out and about having the best time of your life without him? He himself couldn’t believe how much you were on his mind. Even when he had Osaka, the girl he had been wanting to date for a while now, he found himself yearning for your company instead. There was something about you that she couldn’t replace, and it was becoming more and more obvious each day.

Beyond the longing for your presence and the fun that came along with you, Toru found himself missing your baking. Despite Osaka's efforts to replicate your treats, they never quite measured up. Your creations were perfection, each bite a symphony of flavors that left him craving more. It was as if every pastry, every loaf of bread, was crafted just for him, tailored to satisfy his every craving.

As time passed, Toru also couldn't ignore the growing realization that he and Osaka had little in common. Their conversations felt forced, their interests diverging more with each passing day. She would suggest activities that held no appeal to him, and he struggled to find common ground with her. It was as if they were two puzzle pieces forced together, their edges rough and incompatible, unable to fit into each other's lives seamlessly.

Despite his best efforts to focus on his budding romance with Osaka, Toru couldn't shake the feeling that something was amiss. It was as if his heart was pulling him in a different direction, toward someone he never expected to fall for. And as he grappled with his conflicting emotions, he couldn't help but wonder if perhaps he had been looking for love in all the wrong places.

As he reflected on the dynamics of his relationship with Osaka, Toru couldn’t help but feel a twinge of guilt for the growing distance between you. The more he tried to immerse himself in his newfound romance, the more he found himself longing for the familiarity and comfort of your companionship. Yet, he couldn’t bring himself to confront these conflicting emotions, choosing instead to bury them beneath a facade of contentment, hoping they would eventually fade away with time.

Despite his outward appearance of happiness, Toru couldn’t get rid of the nagging feeling that he was living a lie, pretending to be someone he wasn’t just to fit into the mold of the perfect boyfriend. Deep down, he knew that his heart belonged elsewhere, tethered to you by an invisible thread that refused to be severed. And as he grappled with the weight of his emotions, he couldn’t help but wonder if he was destined to remain caught between two worlds, torn between duty and desire, until he found the courage to follow his heart. Maybe he just needed to give everything a little more time and everything would soon fall into place…Yeah! That’s it. All he needs is time…

———

One evening, you decided to invite the group over for a movie night, including Toru and Osaka. It was true that you still had mixed feelings with them, but overall, you were still their friend. And you weren’t cruel to invite everyone else but them. Besides, it’s been a while since you all have hung out together as a group, so it would be good to have everyone back together again.

———

I heard a knock on my door, recognizing the voices of Shoko and Hime from the other side.

“Y/n! Hurry up and open the door already! It’s freezing out here! Honestly, you should just leave it unlocked at this point for the amount of times we come over,” Shoko complained from the opposite side. I chuckled as I quickly made my way to the door and swung it open, greeted by the sight of Shoko and Hime bundled up against the cold.

“Hey bestie! Look what I brought!” Shoko exclaimed, proudly displaying a couple of bottles of alcohol.

I rolled my eyes playfully at her while Hime shook her head in disapproval, her fingers pinching the bridge of her nose.

”I tried to tell her not to get so much, but she didn’t listen,” Hime sighed.

”Shoko, you do realize this isn’t going to be a frat party, right? It’s just a casual hangout,” I reminded her, making her pout.

”Yeah, but we can still have some fun! Besides, it was on sale!” Shoko defended her choice of beverages.

”Fine, fine. Just don't overdo it, alright? We don’t want a repeat of last time…” I cautioned, remembering a particularly rowdy night. Shoko had drank way too much for her own good and it resulted in us having to run after her down the street. She was buttnaked, running freely around. Eventually, we caught up to her, but not before the cops got involved. She was dressed properly and taken in.

”Oh come on, you guys are no fun! Besides, it was a great memory, don’t you guys think?” Shoko asked with a playful grin.

”Not when we had to pay a hefty fine to bail you out!” Hime chimed in, earning a sheepish grin from Shoko. She put her hands up in defeat, not wanting to get a rise out of Hime.

”Okay, okay! I won’t drink too much… probably,” Shoko relented, eliciting a groan from Hime.

Suddenly, a familiar voice interrupted our banter, causing us to turn around.

“…Osaka?” Shoko began, momentarily confused. Hime quickly nudged her, prompting a correction.

”I-I mean…O-Osaka! You’re here!” Shoko amended, rubbing her side from Hime's nudge.

”Yeah! Me and Toru brought some snacks to share. I made them myself!” Osaka announced, holding up a box of homemade treats. I smiled, pushing past Shoko and Hime to grab onto Osaka’s arm.

”They look amazing, Osaka. Please come in. You must be freezing out there,” I welcomed her, noticing the curious glances exchanged between Shoko and Hime.

”I can’t imagine they’re anything like your sweets, Y/n, but I hope they at least satisfy you. Toru is constantly talking about how great your food tastes,” Osaka said sweetly, making me, Hime, and Shoko tense up.

”H-He does?” I asked, feeling a familiar ache in my chest.

”Mhmm! I don’t think a single day passes where he doesn’t stop by your bakery. He always talks about how you make the best Kikufuku! Sometimes he stops by to say hi,” Osaka continued, unaware of the tension she had stirred.

Guilt began to build up in my stomach. I knew about him coming to my shop, and I deliberately made sure to stay in the back when he visited, avoiding him. It was just too much for me to talk to him…alone especially.

“Y-Yeah…” I responded weakly.

”Though, I can see why. Your baking is the best! Anytime I talk to my friends back in my hometown, I always tell them about your desserts and how amazing your food is! You’ve sure got a talent for that, Y/n!” Osaka praised, making me smile softly at her kindness.

Guilt nagged at me as I accepted the sweets from Osaka. I couldn't shake the feeling that her presence was a constant reminder of what I had lost.

”I’m sure these sweets taste amazing, Osaka. Now, you go sit over there… and try to ignore the alcohol that Shoko brought. I’m pretty sure it's all just for her,” I teased, hoping to lighten the mood. She nodded, sitting politely on the couch, waiting for Toru to come in.

As I turned to retrieve some movies from my room, I felt a firm grip on my arm, pulling me into the bathroom. I let out a small shriek as I found myself face to face with Shoko and Hime. Osaka looked behind her to see no one. Confused, she looked both ways to see where you went, but saw no sight of you. She shrugged, thinking you just went back to your room. Little did she know, you were being investigated as to why you brought her here in the first place.

”Why is she here?!” Shoko demanded, her frustration evident.

”What do you mean?”

“Y/n, don’t play dumb. You shouldn’t have invited her! It’s only going to make things worse,” Hime interjected, her tone serious.

I listened to their concerns, but a part of me couldn't bear to exclude Osaka and Toru, no matter how much it hurt to see them together.

"I know, but I can’t just invite everyone over and not them. Besides, it’s not their fault that they fell in love with each other. I can’t hate them forever just because Toru chose her over me,” I reasoned, my voice tinged with sadness.

”Yes you can!” Shoko argued, but I shook my head. I placed my hand on theirs, looking them deep in the eyes.

“No, girls. Just because things are complicated doesn't mean we should shut them out," I interjected, recognizing their concerns but unwilling to let bitterness dictate our actions. "We've always valued our friendships and treated each other with kindness, no matter what. Let's not forget that now."

Shoko and Hime exchanged a silent glance, their expressions softening as they considered my words. After a moment, Shoko sighed and nodded in reluctant agreement. "Fine, but I'm keeping an eye on them," she declared, her protective instincts still in full force.

Hime offered a small smile of reassurance. "We'll stick together, no matter what," she affirmed, her loyalty unwavering.

With a collective understanding, we stepped out of the bathroom, ready to face the evening with resolve and unity.

As I opened the door to rejoin the others, a tall figure stood before me, catching me off guard. Another small shriek escaped my lips as I began to fall backwards. Thankfully, the tall figures hand wrapped around my waist, pulling me close to him.

”Woah, sorry n/n. I didn’t mean to startle you. I was just wondering where you were when all I saw in your living room were Osaka and Toru,” Suguru explained, his eyes warm and apologetic.

Shoko, Hime, Osaka, and Toru observed the scene unfold, each reacting differently to the unexpected encounter.

Despite the mixed emotions swirling inside me, I managed a smile as Suguru pulled me into a comforting embrace.

“I’m just glad you're here, Sugu!” I said, grateful for his presence amidst the turmoil of conflicting emotions. Toru saw the warm embrace you gave to Suguru and couldn’t help but feel…off about it. Whatever that feeling was, he didn’t like how it felt.

“Let’s get this started already! I’m starving!” Shoko declared, eager to break the tension.

Suguru's arrival seemed to lighten the mood, and soon we were all gathered in the living room, ready to enjoy our movie night together.

———

As the night unfolded, laughter and conversation filled the air, creating a sense of warmth and connection that enveloped the group. Despite the initial awkwardness between you, Toru, and Osaka, the shared moments of joy and lighthearted teasing between everyone helped to bridge the divide, easing the tension that had been simmering beneath the surface.

As the movie played, you found yourself stealing glances at Suguru, noticing the way his eyes sparkled with amusement at a particularly funny scene. A smile tugged at the corners of your lips as you reveled in the easy comfort of his presence, grateful for the genuine connection you shared.

Meanwhile, Toru's gaze seemed to linger on you more often than not, a subtle shift that didn't go unnoticed by Suguru or your friends. Despite his efforts to engage with Osaka, there was an unmistakable tension in the air, a silent acknowledgment of the unspoken feelings that lingered between you and Toru.

———

As the evening wore on, Toru found himself increasingly preoccupied with the sight of you and Suguru. Despite the movie playing in the background, his attention was drawn to the quiet whispers and shared laughter between you two on the couch. He couldn't help but feel a twinge of envy as he observed the natural chemistry that seemed to flow effortlessly between you and Suguru.

He watched as Suguru poked your opposite shoulder to trick you into thinking Shoko tapped you. He watched as you playfully punched him, smiling at his tomfoolery. He watched you two ignore everything around you, acting as if you two were the only ones left in the world.

Each shared smile, every shared glance—it felt like a silent declaration of a bond that Toru couldn't quite comprehend. As much as he tried to focus on enjoying the movie night, his mind kept wandering back to you, to the way you leaned in closer to Suguru, your laughter ringing through the room like music to his ears.

And It wasn't just the laughter that stirred a sense of longing within Toru; it was the way you looked at Suguru with such genuine affection and admiration. It was as if you were sharing an inside joke, a secret language that excluded him from the intimacy you shared with Suguru.

Toru couldn't help but recall the times when it was him by your side, sharing those stolen moments of connection. He missed the easy bond you once shared, the way you would listen to him with unwavering attention, making him feel like the most important person in the room. He missed the way your eyes sparkled as he talked to you about the randomest things in the world, the way your giggle filled his chest with pride, the way your voice helped calm him down when he needed it most. He desperately missed you and the way you made him feel…and yet there you were, acting the same way around someone else that wasn’t him. As he watched you and Suguru, he couldn't shake the feeling of being an outsider looking in.

As Osaka snuggled up to him, Toru was busy in his own mind as an uneasy feeling settled in the pit of his stomach. Despite her presence beside him, he found himself drifting into a reverie, reminiscing about moments shared with you.

"This movie is boring..." Osaka's voice broke through his thoughts, pulling him back to the present. He glanced up, noticing the familiar scenes unfolding before him. It was one of your favorite movies, a film you'd watched countless times together. The movie held little interest for him compared to the memories it evoked. The thought of you made him smile faintly, recalling how you'd eagerly convinced him to watch it, even if he had already seen it with you numerous times already.

The memory brought a sense of warmth and nostalgia, a stark contrast to the chill that seemed to permeate his current relationship. He remembered your playful insistence, your determination to lift his spirits and distract him from the burdens of his work. It was a small gesture, yet it spoke volumes about your caring nature and the depth of your bond.

As he watched the movie, snippets of moments spent with you replayed in his mind like scenes from a cherished film. He remembered the way you'd prepare his favorite snacks, your gentle touch as you comforted him through his worries, and the soothing sound of your voice as you reassured him that everything would be okay.

Despite his best efforts to focus on his current relationship, his heart couldn't help but yearn for the warmth and familiarity he found in your presence. And It was in that moment that Toru realized the depth of his feelings for you. You weren’t just a friend; You were someone he couldn't bear to lose. And yet, he couldn't deny the growing distance between them, a gap that seemed to widen with every stolen glance between you and Suguru.

As the night went on, Toru continued to find himself lost in his own thoughts, grappling with the realization that he might have let something precious slip through his fingers.

Little did he know, your feelings were also beginning to shift, your heart drawn towards Suguru in ways you never expected. And as the lines between friendship and something more blurred, the stage was set for a love triangle that would test the bonds of friendship and loyalty in ways none of you could have anticipated.

________________

Part IV coming soon? Depending on my school schedule (I hate you college!!)

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[onomatopoetic101999]

Strangers Like Me

Adam Warlock x reader

WC: 3,225

Warnings: lotttssss of kissing. Tons.

Inspired by "Strangers Like Me" by Phil Collins

________________

__________

Adam Warlock loved to learn.

 It was something he counted as a great blessing, finding out so many things he would never have known if he had stayed with the Sovereign. He had felt, even when only a few days old, that there was something better out there, and the Guardians had helped him find it. In the six months since his premature birth, Adam had learned so much, both about himself and the galaxies he now called home. 

He found out a new dislike or preference he had everyday, but one thing that he had learned early on was that he liked having you around. You were incredibly kind. You went out of your way to ensure he understood what happened around him, you never answered his questions with anything other than patience, and more than once you had fiercely defended him against those who attempted to take advantage of his ignorance. 

The things he experienced were just… better when you were the one helping him with them. Every time he learned something new, his first thought would be what your opinion on it was. He wanted you to show him everything you knew, wanted to do everything you did and learn why you did it. He rejoiced in every chance he got to find out something new about you and felt a need to always be somewhere in your vicinity.

You had stood out to him from the first moment he saw you. You had felt different than every other friend he had made so far, and he hadn't met anyone like you since. You had this serenity about you that drew him in, and your effortless beauty reminded him of the stars. He had quickly decided after meeting you that your name, while pretty, didn't encompass how amazing you were. 

He had called you "Starlight" once in passing, and had stuck with it ever since.

This desire, this longing, was so new to him. He didn't understand; why did he have this need to be around you constantly? You made him feel things he had never felt before. His need to be close to you reached new heights every day, and the day the Guardians visited Terra for the first time was no different.

 While it was nice to see Peter Quill again, learning about where you came from was the only thing Adam could focus on. To see what you first called home was magnificent. Adam wanted to know anything and everything you were willing to tell him about where you grew up, and as you gave him a tour of your childhood home, he was struck by two things. 

The first was how beautiful everything on Terra seemed to be. It only made sense, he supposed, that someone as beautiful as you would come from somewhere as beautiful as this. The second, and slightly more puzzling thing was how at home he felt, despite being on a planet he had never visited before. This he solved by simply remembering who he was with. He didn't know why, but he had a feeling he would feel at home anywhere as long as you were there.

After you showed him everything you could think of, Adam decided it was his turn to show you his "world" - what he considered his first home.

It wasn't hard to convince you to allow him to take you somewhere you had never been, and Adam's heart swelled at your trust in him. When you had fully prepared yourself to go somewhere without oxygen, you turned to look at him expectantly. He had originally planned to drive one of their smaller ships to where he wanted to take you, but that urge to be close to you rose up again. 

He scooped you up into his arms instead, and shot up towards the atmosphere, holding you close with one arm under your legs and the other around your back. At first he was worried you would be mad at him, but you responded exactly the way he wanted you to: by wrapping your arms tightly around his neck and hiding your face against his shoulder.

Adam hadn't even known it was possible for him to shiver, but when he felt your body shake against his as you let out a surprised and exhilarated laugh, he relished in the tremors it causes.

He didn't know what you were expecting as he flew you both towards the first place he had felt peace. It wasn't Sovereign, but he had a feeling that wouldn't surprise you. He waited with baited breath to see your reaction after whispering to you that you had reached your destination.

If you were surprised, you didn't show it. All Adam saw as he watched you take in the mesmerizing stars, planets, and moons he had brought you to see was pure, unadulterated awe. It seemed as if it was all you could do just to whisper, "it's beautiful." Adam murmured his agreement, though his eyes never once left your face.

He wondered if you felt the things he was feeling, what he always felt when he was around you. He wasn't sure how to ask; he didn't even know if he should. For a reason he couldn't explain, the thought of confessing his feelings to you made him nervous.

Still, being honest with you had never hurt him before. He had to at least try. When he landed back onto Knowhere soil, he turned to you, having built his courage on the journey back. 

While he had sucked in a breath to start, to attempt to find some way to express himself to you, the air left his lungs the second you turned to look at him. He had chosen to carry you before because it brought you closer to him, but the sheer lack of distance between your faces hadn't hit him until your still awe-filled eyes had come to rest on his golden ones.

 Suddenly, talking was a complete impossibility. Adam was positive you had never looked so radiant, hair tousled from your recently removed helmet and breathing still heavy from the adrenaline of flight. Adam was also positive that if he opened his mouth to speak, something horribly embarrassing would come out.

Luckily, knowingly or not, you saved him from the mortification of speech. You leaned forward to rest your forehead against his, and when Adam noticed the small smirk your mouth made when he gasped at the contact, he found himself unable to look away. 

As quickly as you had stolen his ability to breathe, the sight of your lips completely consumed Adam's thoughts. He tilted his head ever so slightly, and when you leaned back to look up at him, he started to lean forward. He couldn't explain why, but as his gaze roamed your face, briefly meeting your eyes before returning to your mouth, all he could suddenly think about was wanting to…. Wanting to….

You caught on immediately, and raised a gentle hand to rest against his lips, stopping him. At his frustrated huff and furrowed eyebrows, your enticing mouth lifted again at the corners as you ducked down to meet his eyes.

"Adam, are you sure? Do you even know what you're trying to-"

"Starlight, please," his words are muffled against your fingertips, and he watched as the feel of his mouth moving against them visibly flustered you. "I can't explain why but I want… I need to know." He didn't know how to articulate what exactly he needed, but he didn't have to.

When you hesitantly lowered your hand and nodded, Adam wasted no more time, surging forward to press his lips against yours. It was a clumsy kiss at first, but as you slid your hands into his hair to guide him, a single thought, word, feeling seeped deep into his bones. Right. This felt right. More right than anything he had felt in his life.

The longing he had experienced since he met you seemed to finally release him with a sigh of relief, giving way to complete contentment. He smiled against your lips and pulled you closer, delighted by the gasp you gave him in response.

He didn't know how long you let him hold you, pressing kiss after kiss against your lips, trying to figure out exactly what he had to do to hear that little gasp again. It didn't matter. It hadn't been long enough to satisfy him. 

He had wanted to pout when you finally pulled away, but the sight of your dazed eyes and parted, panting lips made up for the loss of what had immediately become the best thing he had ever experienced in his life. He mirrored your earlier action, resting his head against yours and closing his eyes.

"Thank you," his breaths were coming out in short puffs, but he found he didn't mind being out of breath if it was because of this. Because of you. He felt your forehead move against his as you shook your head, letting out a breathless chuckle in response to his gratitude.

"You are… unfairly good at that. You've never done that before?"

Adam shook his head no and smiled cheekily at how airy your voice was.

"Does that mean you'll let me do it some more?" He beamed when you nodded again and pulled you in for more kisses just as fast as the first time. 

When you broke away for a second time, Adam decided he still needed more, wondering what other sounds you would give him if he kept going. He tilted his head to kiss down your jaw and along your throat, and he rejoiced when he was rewarded with more gasps and sighs. You tugged involuntarily at his golden hair when he mouthed at one of your collar bones, and he hummed against your skin in response.

He had memorized the way to his apartment in Knowhere long ago and thanked his previous self for bringing you back so close to it. He carried you through his front door, shutting it behind him with a light kick before settling on his couch. When he realized he couldn't kiss everywhere he wanted to, he decided you needed to be closer and, lifting you up easily, shifted you to straddle his thighs. 

Your breathing had been getting steadily shallower, and at the feeling of his hands grasping at your hips to pull you closer, you couldn't handle any more. You grabbed his face with both hands and pulled him up to look at you, fighting hard to catch your breath. 

"You can't…. You gotta give a girl a break sometimes. I'm gonna pass out at the rate you're going." Adam just shook his head and leaned in again, unable to resist pressing another kiss to your lips before speaking. His hands slid up from their place on your hips to wrap around to the small of your back as he muttered an apology against your mouth.

"I'm sorry, Starlight, I can't help it," he nudged your chin up with his nose so he could kiss along the soft skin underneath your jaw. "Why haven't we done this before? Why aren't people kissing all the time?"

You breathed out a quiet laugh before explaining.

"Well, it's kind of intimate, you know?" You paused to gasp as he ran his nose down your pulse to mouth at the place where your neck met your shoulder. He smiled when you shivered in response to his encouraging hum to continue.

"It's usually only for between folks with romantic feelings or-" 

Adam stopped abruptly to raise his head and look at you, and he could tell it was taking a lot of your effort to not pull him back to you. If he hadn't been so curious, he would have been left dumbstruck again by your swollen lips and lidded, kiss drunk eyes, but he pressed forward, too interested in the words you had used. 

"'romantic'... I don't recognize that word…"

You shook your head to get out of your daze, trying to get your brain to function enough to explain the concept to Adam.

He didn't know why, but he felt strangely proud that he was the one that had so thoroughly distracted you. Your beautiful mind was muddled because of him. His kisses on your neck as you sat on his lap and his hands touched you- what was happening to him?

He ignored his increasingly possessive thoughts, trying to pay attention as you attempted to find the right words to use.

"It means you want to spend all your time with someone, I guess, but more than just in the way a friend would. You think about them all the time, you find them nice to look at, you want to protect them from things," you paused to check with him, "is this making sense?" 

Adam was nodding before you had finished the question. That was the feeling that had been plaguing him! He tilted his head to the side and watched you for a moment. He knew you were probably expecting more kisses, and while he already felt as iff he was going through withdrawal, he had a question he needed answering first. 

"How do you tell someone about those feelings?" At that you shrugged, fighting to keep your focus while Adam gently ran his hands up and down your back. 

"It depends. If the feelings are small then you should say something like,'I like you'," Adam immediately knew that didn't fit, "if it's all encompassing and groundbreaking, then you would say, 'I love you.'" Ah. That sounded right.

Adam mulled over his next move as he leaned in to plant light kisses on your cheeks and nose in thanks. His heart swelled at your giggle, and he made a decision. Love. Yes.

He leaned back again and did exactly as instructed.

"I love you."

His confession causes you to blink before giving him a sad smile, one Adam immediately wants to replace with something real. 

"No, Adam, just because you like kissing me doesn't mean you-"

"I love you!" He interrupted you to say it again, this time more insistent. At your unconvinced face, his continues, listing every way his feelings for you fit your criteria.

"I have felt a… a pull towards you since I first saw you, and it gets stronger every day," you opened your mouth to argue, but Adam wouldn't have it.

"I want to be close to you all of the time, I can never stop thinking about you, you're the most beautiful thing I have ever had the gift of looking at and I would rather die than see you hurt," he cupped your face in his hands and met your eyes steadily. His tone made no room for argument.

"I love you."

"Adam…" While you still looked skeptical, he could tell his words getting through to you. He tried to go for another tactic. 

"Do you know why I didn't fly us to Sovereign when I told you I was going to show you my world?" When you shake your head no, he continues, "it's because being in space, surrounded by the beauty and tranquility, was the only place I felt at home… until I met you. Now, when I think of home," his golden eyes glow with admiration, begging you to believe what he's telling you, "when I think of home, Starlight, all I see is you. I love you." 

He could tell you were almost convinced, and you tilted your head to the side, eyes roaming his face. Adam figured you were probably trying to gauge if he fully understood the gravity of what he was confessing; you were always careful to only let him commit to something important if he was able to articulate its significance.

His little Starlight wouldn't let him rush into something he didn't understand. The last thing you wanted was to take advantage of him. He loved that about you. He watched you watch him for a while, trying to figure out what to do to prove his understanding, more than willing to indulge your protectiveness.

When he finally landed on a solution, he stood quickly with you still in his arms. Now that he had gotten a taste of you this close to him, he didn't know if he'd ever let you walk again. 

Your surprised squeak was adorable, but it was the heady feeling of your legs wrapped around his waist and his hands gripping your thighs that he made a mental note to revisit later. What kind of sounds would you make if he pressed you up again his door? What about the wall...?

Adam shook his head to refocus himself. You would let him do all of that, he was sure of it, if he was only able to convince you that he loved you.

He walked with purpose through his apartment, past his small kitchen, straight into his bedroom. When he sat on the edge of the bed, he made sure you were comfortably seated on him before reaching past you to grab something he had been keeping on his bedside table for months.

He handed it over to you and watched you as you analyzed it, turning it around in your hands. It was a picture frame, and in it was a photo of you, smiling at whoever was behind the camera. You looked as if you were mid laugh, and the kaleidoscope of stars behind you gave you an almost ethereal glow.

Adam tapped a single golden finger against the frame, keeping his eyes on your face. "I have been keeping this by my bed ever since Drax told us about Ovette," you eyes snapped up to his at that, and he continued, "he had said he wished he had kept some kind of photo of her so he could see her face before he fell asleep and after he woke up. He said he wished he had looked at her, really looked at her, for longer, so that her face wouldn't be forgotten as easily." 

He took the photo back gently and returned it to its rightful place on his nightstand before he turned to look back at you.

"When he was talking about how much he missed her, all I could think about was how devastated I would be if I never saw you again. If I forgot what you looked like. I didn't know what to call it, but even back then, I knew if there was someone who I would spend the rest of my life with, it was you." 

Adam reached out and grabbed your hands, placing a kiss against each palm before resting with them in your lap. At first he was alarmed when he saw tears in your eyes, but then he noticed you were smiling, and continued, feeling his own eyes starting to well up too.

"I didn't say it just because I like kissing you, although I can already tell I could do that forever and love every second," you laughed and a tear escaped. Adam brushed it away with a brush of his thumb. "I'm saying it because from the moment I met you, I have longed to know you, where you came from, everything I could, just so I could talk to you better.

I'm saying it because you have become the one place I feel I truly belong." He ran his hands up your arms and shoulders to sink into your hair, bringing you close enough to nuzzle his nose against yours.

"I'm saying it because I have felt it, for months, and now I finally, finally have the words I need to express it. Starlight, with my entire body and soul, I. Love. You."

Adam loved to learn, and today he learned that his favorite sound in the whole universe was hearing his darling Starlight say, "I love you too."

[delirious-donna]

Call In The Cavalry [Levi Ackerman]

an: this is an entire rework of an old story for a different character/fandom. I felt like it fit Captain Levi and I enjoyed writing for him for the very first time. This is my first time writing in this fandom so be kind.

pairing: Levi Ackerman x female reader

warning: modern AU, military man Levi, phone sex, female masturbation, male masturbation, use of toys, bit of dirty talk, maybe a little OOC for Levi but I tried...

Masterlist

How perfectly infuriating, you couldn't quite get there.

You know, that blooming ache that resides so deep in your gut that it can only be reached by those with the most skilful of fingers or… well, the less said about the other possibilities the better, especially when you missed your partner more and more with each day that elapsed.

The gnawing need for sweet release mocked you, dancing out of reach of your dainty digits and even the incessant buzz of your vibrator wasn’t enough to see you fall off the cliff edge. Tension crowded the muscles in your abdomen and thighs, a continual pull behind your navel but always ebbing away at the last second. It was clear your mind was choosing to remind you of the absence of a certain someone and you cursed your brain for being so mean.

Finally, you kicked the sheets that were wrapped around your knees from the way you had thrashed around in experimentation. Frustration bubbled in your chest, and your head thumped wildly against the pillows. 

It had only been a week–one miserable week–since he had left. In fact, he was due home tomorrow morning. A thought popped into your mind… perhaps he was already home? Glancing at the alarm clock on your bedside table, the neon numbers illuminated that it was nearly midnight.

Your hand wrapped around your phone, the screen waking from its slumber and you worried your bottom lip with the edge of your teeth. Even if he wasn’t quite home, would he be awake for a call? A familiar smirk cut through the shadows and worries in your mind’s eye, the very slow and knowing smile that could curl your toes at the mere sight of it. 

With your heart hammering against your ribs, you ran the flat of your palm between your thighs to dig the heel into the bundle of nerves that needed him more than ever. It was enough for you to tap the call button, bringing the phone to your ear to listen to the agonising ring.

Long had you known that dating a military man would come with its fair share of sacrifices and this one was by far the worst. You hated when he was sent out on missions that took him away from you. Some times it was only a day or two but others could see him away for months at a time and that was hell on earth. The highs were euphoric but the lows were crushing. Thankfully there were far more highs than lows.

Your stomach flipped over with every ring, the buzz of anxiety teasing your needy anticipation into a frenzy. He might be asleep, might not see the call… so many possibilities.

“Can’t sleep, darling girl?”

Levi’s quiet drawl sent an immediate shiver down the length of your spine, a lowly moan passed your lips by way of response and there was a sudden hitch of breath on the other end.

It took you a moment to collect yourself and speak, all the while Levi waited with apparently endless patience. “I-I miss you, Levi.” 

Quickly, you hit the speaker button and gently placed the phone on the pillow, right next to your head. There was a coil of embarrassment to follow, knowing that you’d become so desperate to get off that you couldn’t even wait the few hours until you were reunited with your lover. What must he think of you?

There was a beat of silence, you almost checked to see if he had hung up on you but finally, he spoke again and it was worth the wait to hear the heated curiosity in his usually unaffected tone.

“Hm, is that so? You could have text me to tell me that. Was it my voice you missed, or perhaps… could it be something else?”

Arousal pooled from the entrance of your slowly clenching cunt, hips forced down into the mattress whilst your fingers painted through the wetness. How badly you wished those fingers to be his, to feel how he would spread your sticky lips apart to draw lazy patterns atop your delicate pearl.

“Miss your hands. Mouth. I-I miss everything,” you admitted with a whimper that only elicited a faint chuckle. You didn’t miss the sound of rustling sheets, knowing that he was in bed but not knowing whether it was his own or where he had spent the last week on his mission.

As a higher-ranking Captain, Levi had the luxury of his own one-bed apartment on the base and you were grateful for that fact. It had made things between the two of you much easier when you didn’t have to worry about being discovered in compromising situations by his comrades. Memories of the rare mornings you had spent wrapped in each other’s arms assailed you–whispered words of affection mingled with wandering hands that gave way to new discoveries and endless hours of bliss.

Whilst you were caught wandering down a hazy, rose-tinted memory lane, Levi was losing his mind. He couldn’t get past the broken way you sounded as you told him everything you missed, the needy inflection that was apparent and unabashed on your part. It had barely been an hour since he had slung his pack into his room and flopped atop his bed, but here he was considering throwing on the nearest pants he could locate and running to your apartment.

Instead, he scrubbed a palm down his face and eyed the traitorous erection lifting the elastic of his underwear. Images of you flickered in his brain like a bad home movie and he settled on a still of you laying in bed, legs spread with your pretty little fingers stuffed inside the very heart of you. He stroked over his clothed bulge and hissed, that was his duty, not yours.

“And what would my hands be feeling if I were there right now, sweetheart? Tell me, are you wearing the cute little bunny pyjamas you begged me to buy for you?”

You bit your lip, teeth sinking deep into your plush skin and your toes curled into the sheets before you lifted your knees and rutted your backside against the mattress.

“Nuh-uh, just a white camisole–s’too hot,” you breathed, listening for his reaction and delighting in the strained groan that fell onto your ears.

“Oh, naughty girl, not even panties? Are you wet for me, would my fingers come away sticky and clear-coated if I were you touch between your beautiful thighs?”

You followed his words as if they were instructions, imagining it was the pads of his fingers that brushed your glistening folds and smeared the sticky essence over the sensitive flesh of your inner thighs.

“Yes. Oh, Levi–fuck–I’m drenched. Need you inside me.” 

His head fell back on his pillow at your admission, taking out his leaking cock to languidly pump from base to tip as he listened to your words and wished to be with you. Levi didn’t want you to know how needy you were making him, he had a certain reputation to maintain and he couldn’t let you know so readily that he was just as close to whimpering as you were doing right this second. Besides, this was about you and he would get you off at any cost and worry about himself later.

“My poor sweetheart, I know you want me there to stretch you out like you deserve. Here’s what you’ll do instead…” he stated, watching as precum spilt from his angry slit and coated his shaft. “Have you got that little bullet vibrator you’re so fond of there?”

“Mhm.” You weren’t sure you had ever heard him speak so lewdly before and it was possibly the most intoxicating experience to date. His voice was as low and commanding as it ever was but there was a desperate longing underlying which made you feel empowered despite being completely at his mercy.

Fuck, you were killing him.

“Okay, I want you to put it in your mouth and suck on it like it’s one of my fingers, yeah? You can do that for me, can’t you?”

Your fingers shook as you lifted the small bullet vibrator into your wet mouth, tongue swirling around it in earnest to please. The smooth surface was no decoy for Levi’s finger but you reminded yourself of the times he had forced his digits into your mouth to keep you quiet and it quieted the reality of the device between your lips. Those memories heated your blood until it was close to boiling over.

“Lift that little top, let me feel those beautiful breasts. Be gentle, baby, no pinching. I can tell you’re impatient but just relax into it,” he coaxed softly.

Dainty fingers massaged the swell of your breasts, thumbs rolling over your taut nipples again and again in the exact way Levi would if he were here, and that reminder brought a howl of frustration to your lips.

The tired Captain massaged his aching balls in time with your muffled ministrations on your breasts, every one of your shaky inhales tightened his stomach and drew his sac higher until it was near unbearable.

“That’s it, doing so good. I think it’s more than time to work that bullet on your sweet little button, I bet it is so needy right now. Press it softly on your bud, darling, let the delicious pressure and vibrations build for me.”

“Levi!” You wailed in a pitiful display of your current state. “Shit–s’good, but it’s not enough. I… I need more!” You cried your frustration, and he could practically taste the salt of your tears on his tongue.

He fisted his throbbing cock, pumping so fast and tightly that it neared pain. The angry purple tip stared back at him and he knew that the only way to be truly satiated would be to find release with you, not alone as he was.

“Oh, baby, I know. How many fingers do you think you can take, hm? Two?”

Your every nerve ending was on fire. You were a struck match that was quickly burning down to nothing but ash and soot. Your soaked fingers reached for your entrance, the walls fluttered as you breached inside on a high keen.

Levi panted along with you and you knew that he was fucking his fist, that he wasn’t as unaffected as he tried to portray and you smiled at knowing you were the sole reason he was losing his composure.

Your two fingers twisted, flexing into your cunt and stretched the velvet walls apart, all whilst you slowly applied more pressure to your clit. The tension was there once more, similar to how it had felt earlier but there was hope this time. It was the same but it was different, your unfocused brain trying to decipher what was the change when you already knew it was him. Even miles apart, Levi could bring you the much-needed release when you couldn’t.

Where was his mettle? His courage and valour? All of it was AWOL as he admitted silently that you sounded fucking hot, so completely vulnerable with the eagerness to cum. Moaning long and loud, chants of his name falling from your lips all whilst he continued to fuck his fist and tried to pretend it was your tight cunt.

“That’s it, lemme hear you.”

Your eyes rolled to the back of your skull, the sound of his slick hand pumping up and down his thick cock heightened your imagination and allowed you to believe he really was here with you.

“Fuck–you’re gripping me so well,” he whined, feeding your painted delusions with a shudder evident in his voice. “Nearly there. Now crook those fingers, call me over with those fingers and lemme hear you fall apart.”

You exploded like a firework, sparks crackled behind your eyes the second you connected with your front wall and the mass of sensitive tissue engorged from your actions. The combination of the vibrator on your clit, your fingers stroking just right and the imagery that Levi fed you, was more than enough for your orgasm to finally–finally–hit.

Fat tears rolled down your cheeks as your body curled in on itself. You listened mournfully to the grunt on the other end of the phone and wished desperately that he was here so you could see his release if only to admire his features twisted into bliss before smoothing out into relaxation.

Levi was a mess; hot sticky seed had erupted from his cock like a force of nature. It covered his still-tight fist, splashed on his thighs and splattered his quivering abdomen. His muscles contracted from the severity of his orgasm, and he couldn’t clamp down on his reaction–how embarrassing. Amazing, but embarrassing all the same.

“Oh God, sweetheart. That was–that was amazing.”

You sniffled in response, feeling a little overwhelmed in the aftermath of your orgasm. Mostly from the relief of finally getting there, but also because you were sad that your boyfriend wasn’t here to cuddle you close and sweet talk you through the overwhelming sensations.

The line suddenly disconnected with a quick beep beep, and you grabbed the phone even though your fingers were still smeared in your essence.

A text popped up while you stared at the screen, a soft smile spreading over your face and you rolled over and pressed your now beaming face into the pillows.

“I’m on my way over. Unlock the door for me.”

[ivymarquis]

Blind Date

Me: “why the fuck is this fic taking so long to finish?”

The fic: *is the longest singular piece I’ve ever written for one chapter*

Pairing| John Price x F!Single Mom!Reader Rating| M Word Count| 8.4k Kinks/Content/Warnings| Drinking (everyone is clear headed), run ins with a shitty ex, mentions of abuse from prior relationship, these two are incredibly down bad for each other, oral (m! and f!receiving), protected piv, squirting

There is a certain catharsis in lamenting your dating horror stories with men to a married lesbian who’s over a decade older than you. Kate is always willing to lend an ear, and you’re positive that she gets a kick out of your misadventures in the way so many married people did while listening to their single friends.

“I swear I’m this close to just giving up all together and embracing spinsterhood,” you grouse with a drink in your hand after the work day had concluded.

You like to think your standards aren’t unreasonable. Someone kind, with their head on straight. It felt like finding a man who respects you as a person is becoming too big an ask and you very simply would rather be alone than deal with the endless hoard of men who seem hell bent on destroying any confidence you have in yourself.

“What about the guy you went out with yesterday?” Kate inquires with her head tilted. Must be fun, listening to your ramblings with a devoted partner at home.

“Oh did I not tell you? He was engaged!”

Kate pulls a face like her drink soured on her, matching how you’d felt at the time.

“Even better- guess how I found out he’s engaged.”

“She showed up at the restaurant?” Kate hits the nail on the head on the first try.

“Bingo,” you raise your glass in a gesture of affirmation before finishing it off. “Somehow I ended up being the one getting yelled at in that situation. Un-friggin-believable.”

You don’t abuse your work privileges to creep on people you meet in your personal life, but public record could have spared you if he’d been married. Harder to find out about an engagement from a total stranger who was determined to not let you find out about it and didn’t have social media.

“There’s always the other side,” Kate teases.

“Women scare me too much, I get all nervous.” You could appreciate an attractive woman as much as the next gal but good God you just could not help yourself when it came to men. The subtle way their breathing would change before they made their move, that low timber growling in your ear. The sheer weight of one on top of you as he manhandled you into the bedding-

Dear Lord, you need to get laid. Maybe you’re fixating on it too much because you’ve had an over 2 year dry spell. That tends to happen after a baby though. Especially with a pain in the ass ex who thinks he can pick and choose when to be around (and becomes absolutely incensed each time you remind him he could be consistent or he could stay home).

Kate is thoughtful for a moment, clearly kicking around an idea she hasn’t fully committed to in one direction or another. You can see the moment she decides to proceed with the thought. “Depending on what exactly you’re looking for, I might know someone.”

—

And here you are on a Saturday night, nerves clawing at your belly like a rabid dog.

Most (well, all) of the men you’ve dated you met online. There’s almost additional butterflies beyond the first-meet jitters knowing that the date is set up by a mutual friend.

There’s more at stake, even if the stakes are relatively low pressure. If the guys you met online did something incredibly out of pocket you never had to see them again, and held no qualms divulging the events to friends. Your romantic life has been full of misadventures but has given you a handful of stories, and as strangers you never have to consider any possible fallout in telling those stories.

Your son is with your mother for the night, allowing you the opportunity to focus solely on yourself this evening. No concern about keeping an eye on him while getting ready, worrying about what possible trouble he’ll get into when your back is turned.

It is hard at times- striking that balance between wanting to be a good mom and also wanting to be acknowledged as a desirable woman who has needs. A lot of men are shitty about it. You’d grilled Kate for every detail of his reaction when being informed of your young son. You don’t need another ambush regarding your disinterest in making it work with your son’s father.

She’d soothed your nerves- he hadn’t batted an eye, was about as worried about your reaction to how often his job pulled him away as you were about him having a poor reaction to being a single mom. You both have responsibilities that have to be placed above a relationship, now go play nice and have fun.

You tell yourself you can have one drink while waiting at the bar of the restaurant you’d agreed to meet at.

White wine ends up being your pick- not quite so easy to suck down as a tasty cocktail full of liquor, but gives you something to occupy yourself with.

You’ve only had the drink a handful of minutes before hearing someone clear their throat slightly behind you, and then your name.

Kate has shown you a photo of what he looks like so you’re not caught off guard when you turn around.

He’s handsome. You expect that but it’s different seeing him opposed to just the photo. Kind eyes, a warm smile on his face as he takes you in.

At least you both seem pleased with the big reveal.

“I’ve got a table waiting for us if you’re ready, love.”

He holds out a hand to let you balance yourself as you dismount from the bar seating, allowing you to steady yourself in your heels.

His hand is warm on your waist as he guides you and you’re already smitten by the time the pair of you sit down.

You’re fifteen minutes into dinner when you decide that so long as he a) is willing and b) doesn’t say or do anything completely deranged, you are going to ride Captain John Price like a mechanical bull at a shitty dive bar at the end of the night.

Perhaps the bar is in hell but either way you have been utterly deprived the past few years and he is checking plenty of boxes for you.

“So you work with Kate?” Starting off on the easy footing- the common ground that leads you both here.

“I do. Not directly- I work more on the tech side. I’m an independent contractor, I basically built the entire system she runs off of.”

“Beauty and brains,” his praise warms you, an impressed expression on his face. “Would explain how we’ve never crossed paths if you were hiding in a backroom surrounded by monitors,” he teases.

“You’re actually not that far off the mark,” not that you hide persay, but keeping that contract keeps a roof over your head and food in your child’s mouth. That keeps you busy. The fewer people who know how to work your program, the harder you are to get rid of.

You may or may not have hidden a few kill switches. Job security you call it. Though it’s not exactly first date material to talk about how you’ve got a government agency in a mutual understanding- keep extending your contract, and the program continues to work.

Either way, you don’t have much contact with the soldiers. Maybe you have passed each other in the halls but probably not- you’re certain a face like that wouldn’t have escaped your notice, introduction via a mutual friend or no. But you decide to utilize that mutual friend to shift the conversation. He’s hedged around talking about his work- on his end, sees that as the thing that might be a deal breaker for you. Probably wants to delay that until you've at least gotten your entrees.

So you go from business to hobbies. And it’s probably not entirely fair, but you’re about to see what his sense of humor is.

“Kate mentioned you’re a big soccer fan?” You make sure your expression is wide and doe eyed as you ask the question.

His eyebrow twitches- caught, no doubt, between wanting to leave a good first impression and biting back it’s football over here, love.

You crack far quicker than you initially plan, the wide grin on your face as you let him off the hook he’s good naturedly trying not to bite.

“Beauty, brains, and a comedian, lucky me.”

“I’m sorry, I had to. In fact, it was in her terms for this,” you make a vague gesture with your hand.

“Trust Kate to wheel and deal just to get my blood pressure up,” he muses as he takes a sip from his drink.

The conversation rolls easily enough- an ebb and flow as one of you poses a question, the other answering before allowing the first to say their contribution to the subject and moving on.

He’s charming, attentive, and a good storyteller. The way he carries himself screams military without being overbearing. He’s relaxed back into his chair and something about the scene in front of you makes you want to climb into his lap like a domesticated house cat.

Being the field captain to a specialized task force it’s no shock that he’s in incredible shape and you find yourself slightly distracted on more than one occasion by his hands and forearms.

The food is wonderful though the company is better- you end up moving back to the bar for fresh drinks and to free up the table for the server.

You spend a good length of time just talking with him at the bar.

John’s attention is on you but it’s clear he’s proverbially chewing on something the further on you go.

“That is the look of someone with a question they’re not entirely positive they want an answer to,” you’ve got a habit of being a touch direct at times. Amazing how it streamlines a conversation though.

“Observant one, aren’t you?” He pauses, takes another sip of his drink. “It’s probably none of my business, but ah- is your son’s father in the picture at all?”

It was your turn to take a drink. This was always such a fun topic of conversation. Frankly the number of men who took your ex’s side when the whole custody arrangement gets brought up alarms you.

But he has a right to his son.

Fuck that.

Your child is not property and you do not give a singular shit about your ex’s feelings- especially if it comes at the expense of your son’s safety. But it saves you a substantial amount of time not wasting energy on someone who could not understand the reason for your decisions.

“The short answer to the question is no. I had already left him by the time I found out I was pregnant, and given I left because he’s a raging alcoholic- with the emphasis on the rage-,” what a nice, polite way to say he is an abusive asshole. Your gaze shifts down towards the bartop, missing the way John’s expression softens as he reads between the lines of what you say. They’re not pleasant memories, but you’re not a wounded bird anymore- you’ve tended to your clipped wings and grown new feathers. “I didn’t want him involved.”

“He ended up finding out from a mutual acquaintance, and while he claims he wants to be around, he hasn’t done much other than blow my phone up at midnight trying to throw his weight around every time he gets a new girlfriend. So I get to be the cold blooded harpy that he gets to cry about- which is fine by me. On paper he says he wants to be involved, but he’s made absolutely no effort to arrange plans or anything while sober. I haven’t seen him in over 2 years. I can’t trust him to be a safe parent, and since he’s not on any official records I get final say unless he wants to go to court over it.”

Your whole little house of cards hinges on the fact that your ex wants everyone to bend over backwards for him while doing nothing for anyone else. All it would take would be one subpoena for a paternity test and your hands would be tied. He is an incredibly functional alcoholic, so there isn’t a criminal record or anything you can do to prove he would be unfit. There’s no proof of the abuse he inflicted on you.

Which means, if push comes to shove, you would be forced to relinquish sole custody and hand your child over for unsupervised visitation.

But that requires effort on his part. And that effort is the only thing keeping your little house of cards afloat.

“Sorry that’s probably way more information than you wanted-“ good job. Everything was going great until you laid out your drama.

“No apology necessary; I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want to know.”

And there’s no lecture about how you should give your ex a chance, that the opportunity to raise his son could make him change for the better. No dissertation on how you owe it to your son to do whatever it took to make things work with his father (that had been a weird way to end a date, and the only reason you hadn’t gotten up sooner and left was because it was such a bizarre conversation you’d half convinced yourself the whole thing had to be a bad dream).

You’re not a wounded bird and on the one hand it’s a good thing to get everything laid out on the table, but on the other you don’t want to sit and mope about your personal troubles. You’re actually enjoying John Price’s company, and don’t want to think about your problems.

And yes you are enjoying the time for what it is but part of you can’t help but also keep an eye out for… any opportunities for a transition.

As hot under the collar as you are, John’s gaze makes warmth coil in your gut in a way that has nothing to do with the wine- he’s being a gentleman.

It’s sweet. He’s being polite and respectful and showing sexual discipline while making it clear he’s interested.

And for all your bemoaning of prior dates with other men who aren’t captains of specialized task forces about how they were too pushy and too presumptuous and a nice dinner paired with drinks doesn’t entitle them to you dropping your panties—

Yet here you sit, hours into a conversation when you’d decided 15 minutes in you want to jump his bones. And you have to be patient otherwise you’re a total hypocrite.

You’re not entirely subtle. The pair of you are perched on barstools again, much closer than the table allowed you to be with the two of you angled towards each other.

Your dress looks good on you. A jewel toned blue that compliments your skin beautifully, the hemline stopping above your knees and loose enough to bounce tantalizingly when you hit your stride walking.

It’s not exactly an olive branch, but it is an offering of sorts when you carefully take the leg closest to John and cross it over the other. The hemline of your skirt slips up your thigh, exposing more of your leg. It stops just shy of exposing the top of your stockings and the clip to your garter. It does show just a hint of the darker border to your stockings, the lace peeking ever so slightly before transitioning to the sheer material that covers the rest of your legs.

You’re incredibly pleased with yourself when his eyes flick down for a split second and linger before snapping back to your face. Got you. He tries to hide behind being caught with a sheepish clearing of his throat. It’s adorable, really.

Your cheeks are starting to get sore from all the smiling and laughing that’s occurred over the past few hours. But he’s pleasant company so it’s a discomfort you’re happy to deal with.

You look past him for a split second- nothing in particular catching your attention but just taking in the scenery of the restaurant behind you. Your eyes are back on him in a moment only for your brain to process what it saw after a delay.

There’s no fucking way-

Yes. Yes there is. Your ex is mingling in the background, and you don’t even realize the smile on your face has fallen to a flat line like all the previous giddiness is draining out of you and pooling on the floor below.

It would not take a captain of an antiterrorism task force to see your sharp shift in disposition, so John notices immediately.

“Everything alright, love?”

Maybe he won’t see you. Maybe, if there is a God and he is merciful, your ex won’t look in your direction, won’t see you, and you can continue your cheerful plan of trying to seduce your date.

And whether there is not a God or he is just not merciful- either option remains with you having the same shit result. He turns his head and makes direct eye contact. God damn it.

You look back to John. You’d hoped you could move past talking about your ex for the evening. “Remember how I said I haven’t seen my ex in over 2 years?”

There’s a twinge of relief on his face- the look of a man grateful to not be the cause of your displeasure.

“Let me guess- he’s right behind me?”

“Not quite “right behind”, but yes. Hopefully he’ll just-“ a short huff off agitation leaves you as you cut yourself off.

So much for hoping he’d simply mind his business and stay with his group. He’s making his way towards the pair of you at the bar, and you can tell he’s had a good number of drinks in his system just looking at him.

You’d become extremely proficient at gauging how drunk your ex is at a glance. A skill you developed while still with him and one that doesn’t seem to have faded.

This is, you know without question, going to end up being absolutely humiliating for you. You just know it.

“I am going to go ahead and apologize now for whatever is going to come out of his mouth,” you inform John.

His hand finds your knee, giving a light, reassuring squeeze. “It’ll be alright, love.”

“Well what do we have here?” is the warning shot letting you know he’s not going to show any form of civility.

“Hello, Michael,” you greet cooly, mind spinning a hundred miles an hour trying to figure out how to end this conversation as quickly as possible.

“You don’t have time to answer my texts but you’ve got time to go out. That’s good. Good to know you’ve got your priorities in order,” he starts.

“Answering your texts isn’t even remotely on my priority list, you know that.” You’re trying incredibly hard to keep yourself from being outright nasty but a whole lot of old wounds float up to the surface at the sight of your ex.

Maybe your new feathers aren’t as filled out as you’d initially thought. You feel raw and exposed and it’s difficult to think. You know what you should do, how you should handle it- and there’s still that one little part in your brain that is keeping tabs on John and his response to all of this.

“Your priority should be my son-“ he starts,

“-who is with his perfectly capable grandmother for the evening, thank you,” you finish for him, jaw set tightly. “Why are you here?”

The direct question is aggressive but you know the cycle with him too well to allow him to steer the conversation. He’ll run you in circle after circle until you’re so frazzled you can’t discern left from right.

“Can’t say hello and introduce myself to your new fella? Come on now, where’s your manners?”

Your eyes widen as Michael reaches a hand out- there is no way this asshole is about to grab you in public.

Quick as a snake, John runs interference and drapes his arm across the back of your chair, his fingers holding the shoulder furthest from him lightly.

The entire length of your back and shoulders are blocked by the SAS captain, forcing Michael’s hand back as there was no easy place for it to land that wouldn’t also be touching John.

Up until now, John has been quiet and assessing the situation. Not bowing up or trying to assert himself- letting you deal with your ex and navigate the situation for yourself.

The look on his face is downright unpleasant to put lightly. This is the man in charge of an elite task force, who barks orders at soldiers who drop everything at once because he told them to-

-and you don’t feel so exposed anymore. You find yourself sitting up a bit straighter only for John to gently stroke his knuckles against your shoulder in a soothing gesture. The gesture isn’t a miraculously grand one, but one that makes you realize you’re not alone in this situation even as disorienting as it is. And if you’re being honest with yourself, the upright posture and shifting of your thighs isn’t so much a stress response to your ex as you keying in on John’s response to the whole situation.

“John, Michael- Michael, John. There, now you’re introduced.” Go away now please.

Your ex is too drunk and too full of himself to see the writing on the wall, and continues to poke the bear. “Well, since she doesn’t seem to want to give a proper introduction-“ he sticks an arm out, and you can’t help but notice how the simple gesture causes him to need to correct his balance. Good lord it was barely dark out and he’s already-

Well. Not your problem. Not anymore, at any rate.

John is sitting to your left, his right arm the one that’s draped across the back of your chair. The pair of you flash a quick look to each other, John lifting his arm from your chair to take Michael’s hand and-

God.

Damn.

It.

The exchange is actually as hilarious as it is embarrassing (You can’t quite decide if it’s all the second hand cringe variety, or first hand because Look, John! Here’s the father of my child! I sure know how to pick a partner! Is still coiling in the depths of your stomach). You’d prefer if it simply never occurred at all.

You can see your ex’s forearm flexing as he shakes John’s hand. The microexpression that flicks across your date’s face confirms your suspicion- Michael is (for some reason) trying to use an overexaggerated grip to establish some sort of dominance in the situation.

The quick really? that reads on John’s face rapidly turns to a bemused and subtle if that’s how you want to play then, a barely noticeable shift in his own grip resulting in Michael wincing.

“Captain John Price,” his tone is easy, betraying none of the pissing contest your ex instigated and is failing miserably to get one over on John.

Your ex mumbles his full name, clearly realizing that whatever his brilliant little plan is a) isn’t so brilliant to begin with b) he might just be alert enough to acknowledge the fact that he clearly has no true plan. He came over with the intention of being an asshole and has been flying blind the entire time.

There’s one woman from the group your ex split off from who is watching the three of you keenly. If you were to guess, she is probably his new girlfriend.

You can’t help but wonder- does she know enough to know that this is routine behavior for him? That he throws himself headfirst into a situation he hasn’t planned out- isn’t sober enough to plan out? Situations that don’t need to occur just so he can throw his weight around? Too petty to give a genuine “Hello, how are you? It’s been a while. I want to talk to you about Sam when we’ve both got some free time?”

Everything is vindictive. Constantly worrying about not being undermined and being respected to the point he gets in his own way. Actively sabotages his own opportunities. In dire need of therapy to work through his issues because you know the alcohol is how he copes and you’d sympathized at first but the reasons became excuses and then he’d started blaming you and-

-John places his arm on the back of your chair again and you pull yourself out of your mental spiral.

“I think your date is waiting for you, Michael. Best not to keep the lady waiting.” John observes, his tone neutral despite being a clear dismissal.

“You’ll be hearing from me later. I want to see my son.” Michael’s ignoring John’s presence but taking the hint.

You don’t fling a final barb at him. The venom has been drained out of you and you just want the interaction over and done with. Let him have the last word. You just want him gone.

You merely cast a look over at the woman who is Michael’s date for the evening and hope she’s got better sense than you did- that she leaves before he sinks his claws in her too.

The weight that settled in your stomach upon first seeing him is finally lightening up on you. You know you’ll wake up tomorrow to a barrage of phone calls and text messages that you won’t answer. It’s probably not good you’re so desensitized to the idea that it barely registers as a problem. Merely one of life’s many inconveniences.

“You alright, love?” John’s voice helps you shake the last of the tendrils that cling to you.

“Yes. Sorry. Wasn’t expecting to run into him of all people tonight, is all.”

“Never fun being ambushed, is it?”

You take a bit of a risk- you know enough about his job but he’s steered the conversation away from it every time the topic would naturally shift that direction. You know how Kate’s work can go and you assume his is very similar. “Well you’d certainly know more about that than I would.”

It works. The two of you break out in grins, and you find yourself no longer worrying about Michael and your focus readily settling back on John where it belongs.

At some point- long after the single cube in John’s drink has melted, and the condensation of your wine glass has soaked the bev nap underneath it, and more importantly long enough that you don’t feel that you’re fleeing the restaurant- the suggestion is made to go back to John’s. “No more surprises, hm?”

You gladly follow him. You’d taken an Uber to get to the restaurant, anticipating drinking and hoping to go home with him, so you have no worries about your own car.

You can easily see him being the type to give you a quick, chaste kiss on the doorstep after safely dropping you at home. In another universe you’d appreciate the restraint, enjoy fleeting touches over the course of a few dates that get more intense each time before finally finding yourself in his bed.

In this universe however, you don’t have to wait. Don’t want to, either. You get to indulge your earlier impulse of crawling into his lap, knees spread wide on either side of his waist. Lowering your hips allows you to feel him and what exactly he’s packing between his own legs. Your hips cant in short motions and heat coils heavy in your gut.

From the feel of things he’s proportional and John is not a small man. There’s a brief flicker that runs through your mind that you might be in over your head with him. The pent up lust and desire stifles that flicker. You’re more than game to see what a night with him ends up being like.

His hands are warm against your skin- one cupping the back of your head and keeping you close as the pair of you make out, the other settles on your hip and keeps you steady as you grind down on him.

You are possessed with the desire to get his cock in your mouth.

It’s cute how his face follows yours as you pull away from him.

“Help me with my dress?” Your question is perfectly innocent as you turn your back to him, presenting the zipper that runs down the length of your back.

His pleased laugh warms you, a shiver of desire and anticipation running down your spine as his breath fans across the back of your neck.

You’ve got a surprise waiting for him underneath your dress, partially revealed as one of his hands holds the top of the dress steady while the other draws the zipper down.

You gave him the hint you were wearing stockings when you’d baited him back at the restaurant, letting the heavy fabric of the dress fall to a heap around you before kicking it off to one side.

Turning back to face him, John seems quite enraptured with his surprise.

The lingerie set is a matching shade as your jewel toned dress, the garter belt clipping to the sheer black thigh high stockings.

There’s always that split second hesitation when revealing yourself to someone- the anxiety of if they’ll be pleased with what’s presented to them.

John is the first person you’ve been with since you’ve had your child, and the slight anxiety quells quickly at the look on his face.

John looks like he wants to eat you alive. Any insecurity is knocked firmly aside by desire quickly ramping back up.

Placing one hand on his thigh to steady yourself as you lift a leg to take your shoe off, John is quick to stop you. “Leave them on for now, love.”

It’s a request but it’s not. Really that doesn’t surprise you- he is someone who is likely used to having his whims accommodated to. You find yourself having no urge to defy him, nodding in compliance. If John wants your heels to stay on, then they’ll stay.

He guides you between his legs, enough space between his knees for you to slot yourself in. With him sitting on the bed he’s shorter than you standing straight up in your heels. Bending down to give a quick, teasing kiss you let yourself drop to your own knees.

“You don’t have to-“

“I want to,” you assure him with doe eyes and are rewarded with him settling into the bed as your hands go to work on his belt.

Unable to resist teasing him, you mouth at his bulge through the thick fabric of his pants. You’re rewarded with a soft cant of his hips, having his belt undone and working on the button and zip of his pants in record time.

Your earlier suspicions are correct. John is a big boy in more ways than one. You want him in your mouth- now.

While you’re occupying yourself with getting his pants off, John shucks his shirt and shoes.

He is, simply put, delicious to look at. From the broad muscling to the thick dark hair running from his chest down his abdomen. He doesn’t have the hard chiseled abs of a man who lives in the gym but the sturdy build that comes from having useful, functional muscle that’s put to work.

And that’s incredibly hot. He’s girthy as hell in your hand as you give a few strokes before putting your mouth on him.

You’re not entirely certain if deep throating him is going to be an option, but by God you’re going to try.

“Bloody hell, love.” John grunts while you bob your head up and down the length of him. You’re gauging just how much of him you can get in your mouth- where your threshold is before your gag reflex wants to kick in.

He’s petting you. Doubtless trying to fight the urge to fist your hair, his hips struggling to stay still on the bed.

You want him to. You feel feral, all the pent up sexual energy you’ve been storing for God-knows-how-long welling up all at once. You want this man carnally and your brain presently thinks having your hair held in place and your throat fucked is a fantastic idea.

John clearly has other plans, restraining himself and letting you work at your own pace. That low, deep breathing paired with his soft grunts and voiced encouragements stoke the flames of your arousal hotter.

Eventually you do need air, pulling off of him for a moment. Your hand works his shaft and teases the tip of him as you lean forward to run your tongue up and down the length of him, dropping a bit lower to lave at his heavy sac. He jolts which only encourages you to do it again.

You know your eyes are one of your better features- you’ve heard the compliment enough times both in and out of the bedroom, holding John’s gaze as you lick him back up the length of his shaft and circle the head once before having caught your breath enough to wrap your lips around him once more.

The second time around you’re able to get a bit more of him down your throat, but not all the way. What you can’t reach you stroke with one hand, the other resting on his thigh to help balance yourself as you work. You can feel the tension building in his thigh as he gets closer, pleased with yourself.

It’s a heady feeling. You don’t know exactly all the dirty details of his job but understand enough to know you’ve got a powerful man at your whim right now and that scratches a deep seated itch in you.

“Good girl,” his praise washes over you, warm and welcoming. “Just like that-“

You’re intent on sucking the soul out of him, all doe eyes and hollowed cheeks with those painted red lips. Eventually he gives into the urge to grab a fistful of your hair. He doesn’t do anything to interrupt the rhythm you’ve settled into, letting you move as you see fit.

He bites out your name and you feel the muscles in his leg drawn tight. “I’m getting close, love.”

It’s not quite a question. You give your not-answer by doubling down on him. You’re so close to having him in your mouth all the way to the base. You don’t want to back off. What you do want is for him to finish down your throat.

You get your wish. John’s fist tightens and you let out a grunt as his thrusting results in your nose pressed against his public bone.

The taste of him doesn’t really register as he spills inside your mouth, your focus on breathing through your nose and keeping your gag reflex down.

He’s petting your hair again, praises falling freely from him and soft apologizes. “Lost myself for a moment there, love. You alright?”

You keep your mouth hilted on him for a moment to prove a point- you’re fine, he didn’t push you past threshold- before finally releasing his softening cock.

He’s pulling you up to him after that, an open mouthed kiss that flusters you considering he just came in your mouth. “You’re just a treasure,” his voice purrs in your ear. “Only fair I return the favor, hm?”

He guides you to lay on the bed, knees hanging over the edge before he turns to settle between your legs.

He starts at your neck. You’re ticklish at one spot his lips, squirming in his hold with a giggle. “Sensitive, hm?”

You nod out a “mhm,” that breaks into a breathy moan as he works his way down your chest. Rather than removing your bra his hands work to pull your breasts free from the cups before paying particular attention to your nipples.

His hands are warm as they roam your ribcage, the heat of his body seeping through the lace of your outfit as his fingers trail across your skin and the delicate material.

“You’re so soft, love,” you don’t quite know how to respond to the compliment, mewling wordlessly in pleasure at the attention.

That seems to appease him as he kisses his way down your sternum and to your belly, the expanse of most of it covered by the fabric of the garter belt.

His eyes flick up to your own as his lips travel closer to the apex of your thighs. Where you’ve been lying patient and pliant in his grasp, the eye contact draws something tight in your core and you squirm again.

The next thing you feel is teeth as he nips you. “Be a good girl for me,” he tells you, soothing the soft throb of his bite with his tongue.

You force yourself to still as he moves lower, lower, lower- taking his time and having you thoroughly worked up before moving to the next patch of skin.

When he’s down far enough he slides one of your thighs over his shoulder, that arm looping under your arm and banding across your abdomen.

It’s his turn now to mouth at your clothed sex.

He pulls the gusset of your thong aside after a moment of teasing, his lips descending on you.

“Oh,” your hand immediately finds purchase in his hair, a pleased whimper escaping you at the feel of John’s tongue.

John feasts on you. There’s not much else that can be done to describe it. It’s lewd and wet as he laps at you, the flesh of his tongue doing little to soothe the burning ache inside you and only ramping it up.

Those eyes are wicked as he gazes up at you from between your thighs. The hand resting on your lower stomach is pressing ever so lightly, like John wants the pressure there but not too much yet and you’re once again struck with the idea you might be in over your head with him.

“John, please,” you beg. It feels good but you need more, lust clouding your brain as your hips rock against his face.

“You need to be patient, love. I’ll take care of you. Just relax, hm?”

It dawns on you that he’s probably running down the clock until his refractory period is up. That he doesn’t want to get you going too quick and then be stuck not quite ready to perform.

It’s an assumption, and you’re not 100% sure that you’re correct, but it’s a solid enough option that you move forward with that in mind.

The thought almost makes it easier to relax into the bed- the idea that John is going to pleasure you with his mouth until enough time has passed and he can get it up again. That he’s not just mindlessly toying with you with no end goal in mind.

It feels good you’re just stuck being greedy and wanting more stimulation despite knowing that won’t happen until John decides he’s ready to give you more.

You almost jump when the fingers you’ve been waiting for make their presence known. His mouth moves to focus on your clit, lips making a seal and sucking on it. You cry out, hips canting as his fingers gently rub at your labia.

He starts with one, gently sliding it in and out of you. Your back arches in satisfaction of having something to clench on and rub against. It’s more satisfying than just one of your own- that was for sure.

“That’s it love,” John praises you while easing a second one into you.

The second finger is what you were looking for, stimulation wise. John pets and strokes you, thumb gently working over your clit in soft circles before putting his mouth back on you.

He doesn’t just find your g-spot. John’s fingers are placed so they hone in on that spongy bit of tissue tucked inside you. He doesn’t let up on it, tongue working on your clit as you arch your back helplessly and moan.

That pressure is back on your abdomen, the hand not currently stroking you to nirvana pressing down on your belly.

You moan and buck against his hold. Your orgasm is creeping up on you and it’s like he’s determined to make you squirt.

“You keep that up and I’m gonna make a mess,” you warn him- not entirely certain how he’ll respond to the prospect of you squirting on his face.

John looks delighted and you realize that yes, you are in over your head with him.

There’s a mischievous glint in his eye as he pulls back from you, “You promise, love? Don’t tease me.”

Oh dear God- Next thing you know he’s reaching over you to pull a pillow from the top of the bed, wedging it underneath your hips before returning to his place between your thighs.

You’re flustered at how eager he is to see you squirt. His mouth is back on you, sucking on your clit and making your legs shake as two fingers go right back to abusing your g-spot, his free hand pressing on your belly increasing the pressure that is mounting by the second.

There’s nothing else for you to do but grab a fistful of his hair and hang on. “Please- oh! J-John! Right there,” at your encouragement he locks in on the spot that’s got you arching your back and your thighs trembling.

“That’s it, pretty girl. Show me,” he’s moaning encourments against your skin and you feel like a bow drawn tight and ready to snap. You’re so, so close.

The sounds he draws out of you- both from your mouth and between your legs- are filthy and vulgar and you don’t care at all as he gets you teetering just on the edge.

You’re practically gasping for breath, eyes screwing shut as the hand not buried in John’s hair fists the sheets next to you. You babble his name, chants of John all your brain can muster.

All that pressure coiling in you snaps and gushes out, literally and metaphorically.

“Good girl, making such a mess for me,” John’s praise has you flushing hot while his fingers work you like he’s making sure he can wring out every single last drop.

He stops when you have nothing left to give him, a trembling mess shivering in his hold.

Your brain at some point made the windows shut down noise, needing a moment to settle as you process what John just did to you.

This is the hardest you’ve cum in ages, certainly better than the orgasms you’ve given yourself during your little dry spell.

You return to the land of the living with his lips on yours, tasting yourself as he soothingly strokes your side. “You back with me?” He asks, eliciting a nod from you.

“Please tell me you have a condom,” your tone is pleading. You still want to ride him but you’ve learned your lesson about practicing safe sex. Once was, in fact, all it took for things to go off the rail.

“I do,” he stands, moving to the nightstand and opening a drawer.

Now that your legs feel somewhat compliant you sit yourself back up.

No sooner than John’s got the condom on then you’re guiding him back down, having him lay on the edge of the bed.

It takes a bit of maneuvering, getting yourself situated so your heels don’t catch on his sheets, but you’re straddling him with the leg closest to the edge of the bed hanging over the side as the opposite leg folds underneath you. You hover over him while getting everything lined up. The position of your legs allows you to alternate which one is supporting the brunt of your weight, a factor that is going to be fairly important once you’ve hilted yourself on John.

Even with how pliant your body is it takes a moment for the head of him to breach you.

“Oh,” you let out a breath as you sink down on him. You’re not able to get all the way to the base of him on the first go, getting your weight underneath yourself and lifting almost completely off of him before dropping down again. You get a little further this time, a moan escaping you.

“That’s it, love. Nice and easy,” his voice coos in your ear, that low timber having you liable to melt.

He’s thick. Not in a way that’s insurmountable to manage, but you have absolutely no complaints with how he fills you and anticipate being pleasantly sore in the morning.

Two more slow bounces have you sinking low enough to hilt yourself on him, taking a moment to enjoy the sensation of sitting fully on his lap.

One of his hands braces on your hip, the other his thumb circles your clit. You squirm at the stimuli, relishing in the feel of him before getting to work.

This is what you’ve been drooling over all night. Your reward is very well earned in your opinion. Moaning lowly as you bounce up and down, your movements are initially slow and languid but pick up speed as you get your bearings. John’s heavy exhales and grunts when you clench only serve to wind you tighter.

“You feel good, pretty girl? Hm? You like bouncing on my cock?”

You flush- a ridiculous notion given how you’re quite literally hilted on his dick-, face hot from the dirty talk.

The hand on your hip helps guide you to a pace that’s pleasurable for the both of you, eyes rolling as he thrusts his hips in a way that makes you see stars. “Yes! John- yes! Oh it feels so good,” your voice a low purr as he delivers on every fantasy you’ve had this evening.

The stretch of him in you feels absolutely incredible, knocking the air out of you on each bounce. It doesn’t take long until that knot begins to form again, growing steadily as you rise and fall in his lap. The press of his finger circling your clit draws staggered moans, bracing on him for support.

“Been thinking about this all night,” John grits out. “Wanted to flip you over the bar top and have my way with you right there on the dining room floor.”

You moan at the confession, feeling less like a rabid dog with no impulse control now you know you’re not alone in the intense desire that had struck once you’d laid eyes on him.

“Probably wouldn’t have- ah! st-stopped you,” you tell him. The grip on your hip tightens at that, another moan escaping you as you bounce on him.

Your eyes roll in pleasure, cunt practically fluttering from the way he keeps getting you to clench. The thickness of his girth doesn’t just let him keep hitting that spot in you with lift of your hips so much as the mushroom tipped head of his cock drags across it.

“Aren’t you just a fucking treasure,” he praises.

Your thighs are burning, eased by the position of your legs and John’s grip helping you but becoming more present with each wet clap of your sex against his lap. It almost helps you tip closer to another climax.

Your eyes squeeze shut, a staggered breath escaping you.

“Eyes on me,” he tells you and you comply immediately.

“John, please I’m so close,” your thighs are shaking again, threatening your already precarious balance.

“You need more, pretty girl?”

You shake your head. “No-no. Just don’t stop. Please don’t stop!”

And bless him, he doesn’t do anything to fuck up your rhythm. The fingers circling your clit keep the same tempo and pressure perfectly, his free hand still helping guide you up and out of his lap before sitting you back down.

You know you’re about to come but are caught off guard by how sharp it is as you squirt for a second time.

The sight of you spurting across his abdomen nearly severs any control John has left. The next thing you know John’s abandoned your overstimulated clit in favor of rolling you onto your back, your heels clattering to the floor from the motion. Your legs go instinctively to clamp around his waist for security- only one of them does, the other stopped by wet fingers gripping your thigh by your knee as he spreads you open. His weight is held on the forearm bracing next to your head by the time you process the shift in position.

“You alright, pretty girl?”

You can’t quite get your words out but manage a nod. “Ye-yeah,” you eventually stagger out as he waits for a verbal confirmation.

With the comfort that you were fine, that gives John the assurance he needs to seek his own pleasure.

More than satisfied with your two climaxes, you lay limp and pliant in his grasp while he chases his own end.

The wet squelch of his cock splitting you open with each thrust was loud and obscene although you were too far gone in the blissed out pleasure to care. Your whole body feels delightfully tingly, your head swimming pleasantly.

You clench down on him a few times, more for his benefit than anything else. You’re spent but more than willing to help him across the finish line as he buries his face in the crook of your neck, muttering praises that are punctured with short, sharp thrusts before he stiffens as his own climax hits.

The two of you have both broken into a light sheen of sweat by the end of things. After a moment to recuperate John stands with a “I’ll be right back.” (And you unabashedly enjoy the view of his ass while he retreats to the bathroom.)

True to his word he returns shortly, evidently having disposed of the condom with a towel in hand for you.

The pair of you get yourselves clean and sorted. Before you can decide how you want to ask, John seems to already know what the question is.

“You don’t need to leave, do you?”

Again it’s not entirely a question, but still gives you an out if you want to take it.

You don't want to take the out.

[somnambulic-thing]

in limbo a Smoke and Cherry Pop Rocks-blurb

432 words || part I - part III

---

In the first few months away, everything reminded him of you. After those two weeks with you, every memory of you seemed to be bigger and brighter and louder; only ever expanding inside his skull so that sometimes, he had to close his eyes and take a deep breath to get his shit back together.

He swore every dark blue bike looked like yours, the one he once fixed for you and every dick-shaped cloud made his heart ache and his stomach feel hollow and tense.

He hadn't been aware that it was possible to miss someone with such violent intensity.

He had packed some of your clothes in an attempt to take your smell with him; a shirt you gave him, a shirt he stole from you and the panties that you wore the day you came looking for him. The first shirt, he pulled over his pillow so he could pretend to press his face into your shoulder when he was trying to fall asleep but everything inside him was screaming to get on the road to find you, to press his face to your neck, to your actual skin and never leave that spot again.

He noticed that that way your smell vanished rather fast from the fabric and he started to ration the other shirt, even got a plastic bag to keep it in to slow down the fading process. The panties he only got out on... special occasions, like when he felt so lonely that he feared his chest might cave in from the weight of it.

But being on the road was great. Being a roadie was not at all how he had imagined but somehow... even better. He was sore all the time, sure, but was also not a beacon of otherness anymore. Not to mention all the adventures.

He wrote as many of his adventures down, crafted them into vivid, animated letters for you whenever he found the time... or felt the need to talk to you but couldn't.

He kept those letters in a cereal box.

"Why is that?" Wayne asked him over the phone and Eddie could see the way his uncle's forehead started to wrinkle with confusion, his mouth taking over before his mind had a chance to really take the question in.

"Lot's of room in a ceral box... and it's their favourite... so..."

"Outgoing letters shouldn't be those who need much room amongst your things, Ed."

A moment of silence.

Then a sigh. "You're preparing yourself a pretty bitter bowl of regret there, you know that?"

"Not today, kay?"

[jadedvibes]

to be his wife 🥰

Mrs. Barber

Oh what a dream ♡ Let's imagine what it'd be like if after leaving his ex he met a lawyer that was his ideal match.

Pairing: Andy Barber x lawyer!reader

Warnings: 18+ only, smut, swearing, fluff, possessive!andy sprinkled in.

Word Count: 825

Like, comment, and/or reblog to put a giant smile on my face ♡

From the moment he stepped into the courtroom and saw you were opposing counsel Andy knew he was screwed. The whispers of the woman that could rival him as a prosecutor moving to the district didn’t contain how beautiful you were.

Your stellar professional reputation preceded you, but your bewitching presence was a surprise that completely caught him off guard.  

Andy wasn’t one to get flustered under the pressures of the court, but when you looked at him, his speech briefly stuttered along with his heart. Your words flowed eloquently, and your confidence made him grateful that it was an open-and-shut case, because once court was adjourned he decided that a woman as brilliant as you belonged with him.

He pursued you until you gave in, but it was a lot harder than he anticipated. You weren’t looking for anything, yet his persistence ensured that you found it anyway. The man wore you down with his kindness, helpfulness, and those dazzling blue eyes always giving you his undivided attention. Despite your cynicism, you let yourself fall for the lawyer with the complicated past. 

Fortunately, Andy ensured that you didn’t regret it. And to further prove his commitment, he proposed after six months of dating you, simply because he needed you to be his, in every way possible. 

Just like he made you his, every night since you agreed to go out with him. You thought it might be a bit too early to sleep with him after your first official date. But as he helped you out of his Audi and walked you to your front door with your hand firmly in his, you knew exactly what was going to happen. 

“Tell me to leave, honey,” he mumbled against your lips after kissing you goodnight. 

“But I want you to stay,” you whispered before opening your door. 

He took care of you that night, worshiping every inch of your body, just like he wanted to from the moment his eyes laid on you. 

Your attraction couldn’t stay confined to just your places at night, and that’s how stolen kisses at work turned into making love behind locked office doors. But sex wasn’t always like that, sometimes he’d fuck you, quick and rough, just enough to get you both there. Other days, he’d take his time, dominating you hard and slow; whispering the filthiest words you’d only hear when you got him like that. 

“That’s it, honey. Go soft under me, fuck – this pussy’s so fuckin’ tight it’s like she wants to keep me inside,” Andy groaned against the shell of your ear, his beard grazing against your soft skin as he pounded into you. You felt him everywhere; his warm lips, his large hands, his hard length roughly sinking into you over and over again. Until you were screaming his name, barely able to hear him mutter how well you squeezed his cock and how pretty you were as you came for him. 

The two of you eloped on a weekend trip in Portland, and the main thing that changed once you were officially his wife was that his adoration and devotion became even more intense. 

Andy was a self-assured man, but now that you were his, you didn’t miss the way his possessiveness lingered whenever you interacted with other male colleagues. In fact, you loved the way he’d make it apparent that you belonged to him. You loved it even more when he took you home and reminded you that you were his Mrs. Barber – as if the ring on your finger and the hold on your heart wasn’t indication enough. 

His protective nature, the way he cherished you as a partner and always took care of you made you fall for him more and more every day. A few colleagues at work even mentioned that you changed him for the better. He didn’t hide the fact that he was once a workaholic that prioritized his job more than anything in his past relationship; instead he made sure that you knew that you were his top priority through his actions. You were his new beginning, a chance to do things differently, and he certainly made the most of that. 

Andy was the perfect husband to you, his wonderful wife. 

Because you were his ideal partner. You were the warm softness to his rough exterior – although you were strong when you needed to be and Andy really admired that. You were the one that he trusted to tear down the tall walls he’d built up over the years. He needed someone that didn’t judge him about his past, that actually appreciated him, and saw him for the deeply caring man that he was. It amazed him how you fit the bill in every sense; a fact he expressed gratitude for often. 

And now that Andy loves you, he can never stop. Because you’re his better half, his gorgeous and amazing wife, his Mrs. Barber.

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

Ok so what would Mihawk be like with a lover who is very bipolar... like their happy on minute and angry the next how would he calm them down🤔 or yk they get a lil bratty and he gotta put them in their place🌚

WaitwaitwaitwaitWAIT

Hold the F UP, Mihawk AND psychology? You're spoiling me 🤭❤️

Oooooh I can't not do this one right now.

Kinda personal because I have some issues that can result in bi-polar tendencies, so this hits quite close to home for me.

I've rewatched this scene a totally normal amount of times I swear. Totally normal.

Mood Swings

OPLA! Mihawk X Reader

Mostly SFW headcanons, only the slightest bit suggestive, kinda hurt/comfort I suppose

Trigger Warning ⚠️ (possibly) for mental health issues, bi-polar and related disorders

♬♫ Rosanna - The Fratellis ♫♬

Baby, you're a mess, I confess

But I guess that I'll save you one of these days

Mihawk doesn't exactly have the patience of a saint, but he still honestly has more patience than most—you don't dedicate your life to becoming the world's greatest swordsman and actually achieve that goal without at least a touch of patience.

Your mood swings amuse him more than anything. Not a cruel sort of amusement, but a more endearing one. You remind him a bit of a cat—sweet and playful one minute, then all claws and bared teeth the next.

Though as amusing as it can be, he sees how it drains you, mentally and physically, and that more than anything is reason enough for him to stay patient with you in the moment.

He'll keep a level tone, just tells you to calm down, even while you're yelling at the top of your lungs that you are calm, yelling insults and potentially hurtful words.

He can't help but smirk a little at how quickly you fly off the handle, which probably doesn't help your own anger, but he really can help but find it a little entertaining, even a little enticing.

Oh, he wants to shove you against a wall, pin your hands over your head and murmur in your ear for you to behave yourself, to just devour you then and there—but he knows that now isn't the time. That can come later, after you've calmed down.

So he just keeps up a calm and reasonable air about himself and lets you vent out whatever frustrations you need to, taking it with a grain of salt because he knows that it won't last.

Just gives a little sigh once you have calmed down, once you've apologized for whatever you have said or done in your anger.

Tells you it's fine, pulls your head down to rest on his lap while he combs his fingers through your hair until your tension has eased off the rest of the way, not faulting you for your moment of vulnerability. Might tauntingly mention that he *should* punish you for being so troublesome, but he's honestly more focused on ensuring you recover.

He really has more trouble dealing with your depressive episodes—he can't stand the thought of you being so low that you can't even pull yourself out of bed.

Mihawk understands that patience is absolutely vital in such cases, but he's not sure whether it's better to give you space or keep you company; to try to convince you to talk, to just hold you quietly, or to leave you to your own devices until you recover on your own.

So in those instances, he's a bit all over the place, and more than a bit frustrated. More likely to be short or snappish in spite of himself. He desires complete control over all aspects of his life, and being at a loss of what to do drives him up a wall, especially if it concerns your well-being and his ability (or inability) to fix it.

He's not going to put you in your place for anything until he's sure you've leveled out, that it won't trigger you or make things worse.

Not until you're able to calmly discuss what's been going on with you, until you're able to laugh and smile and breathe easy in the wake of your own turbulent emotions.

He might punish you relentlessly for being intentionally bratty, for being a sarcastic little shit and clearly doing it to test his patience for the fun of it. In that case, he might pin you to the bed, might tease you to the very edge of sanity, might make you beg and plead for relief or release, but only then.

You're still his lover, and he doesn't have any intention of hurting you in any way that could be lasting, in any way that isn’t consensual—in any way that could make your inner turmoil any more difficult to bear.

[mika-no-sekai-blog]

Word count: 1400+

Warnings: none

Part XII | Part XIV

Next morning you again stood in front of Rhysand's office, playing with your fingers nervously. Last night you were so sure about this, but just as expected your courage winded out until morning.

Closing eyes you took a few deep breaths and before you could think it over you knocked. The answer came immediately.

The doors opened and you walked in. Rhysand welcomed you with a tight smile. He seemed to be nervous just as much as you. Behind him on the chair you were seated on last night, sat Azriel, his wings tucked to his back, shoulders ridiculously tense. He nodded in greeting, flashing a small genuine smile. Rhysand closed the doors and locked.

"This way nobody will disturb us," he explained noting your widened eyes. "Where would you like to sit? We can move to sofa if it helps you feel more comfortable."

You considered it, your gaze nervously ticking between the two options. "I-.. I'm not sure what to expect," your voice was so small, it was a miracle they heard you.

"Well, it shouldn't be painful, maybe just little uncomfortable," Rhysand shrugged.

"I think sofa would be better," Azriel voiced his opinion and you nodded.

All three of you moved to the set of sofas. You and Rhysand sat down on one, Azriel took a seat at another one as close to you as possible.

"Okay, so let me explain first," Rhys straightened his back. He cleared his throat. "I don't know how it looks inside of your mind and what's blocking your memories. So first I have to find out the reason of your memory loss. When I figure it out, I will try to release one memory at a time, so you have time to adjust or stop me when you've had enough."

He took your hand and gently squeezed it. "You can stop this anytime," he assured you, his voice soft. "Just a single word and I will stop."

You nodded, too nervous to find your voice. You let out a shuddering breath.

"Do you need a moment or something to drink?" Ariel offered from your other side.

You shook your head, even your voice shivered. "Let's get started." Before I change my mind. You added for yourself.

"Okay, make yourself comfortable," Rhys smiled kindly and pressing small kiss on the back of your hand he squeezed it between his big, warm palms. You leaned back, resting you head on the soft backrest. Azriel moved closer, now sitting on the edge of his sofa, and squeezed your other hand. You tried to smile at him even though you trembled too much.

"I'm going in," Rhysand said. At that very same moment you felt something like a gentle caress before a presence slipped into your mind. It was a very strange feeling. It's me. Don't be scared.

I know. You answered and shut your eyes.

Rhysand looked around. Your mind reminded him of a forest. Each memory was represented by a shimmery chains of light and shadows growing from the ground like a tall tree with strong roots and changing into a rich crown high above his head.

Every mind was different, original in its own way. He had never seen anything like this. It was fascinating and so unfamiliar at the same time.

He knew you changed, but just now he realised how much. Before it looked like a city of Velaris in your mind. Your memories used to be hidden behind colourful doors and windows, just open them. Wide alleys for your favourite memories, mysterious narrow streets for the secret ones.

Wandering around he felt lost. He didn't know which direction could lead him back in time.

Rhys reached out in attempt to touch one of those strange trees. The light poured between his fingers like water. He saw himself smiling and talking about the one time you two stole cookies your mother baked from the kitchen and ate them all. Later your stomachs hurt so much you couldn't hide it and your mum got angry with you both.

That happened last week. He took few steps and looked around. A dark tree made of mostly shadows caught his eye, so he touched it. Rhysand again saw himself, rage seeping from him. It was the day of Solstice when he snatched you from Tamlin's grip so harshly he broke Tamlin's arm. He withdrew his hand in disgust. He didn't want to see it.

Walking in the same direction he continued deeper into the forest, occasionally touching some of the trees. He saw glimpses of your life with Tamlin which caused his guts to twist. He even saw the day you saved him and wondered who could be so strong to hurt High Lord of Spring Court. He was too curious to stop himself from touching the trees around just so he could see how you lived, what you did while he mourned you.

However simple and uneventful your previous life seemed to be, only thing he could feel was emptiness. In your heart you had to know something was amiss, that something was missing. He took a note to ask you more about it later.

He wandered for what felt like hours. Light was dim in this part of forest, darkness waiting ahead, around him only what could be described as dead trees. Before the darkness could swallow him, Rhysand smashed into a solid surface. Staggering backwards he hissed, rubbing the sore spot. Carefully he touched the wall first only with tips of his fingers, then with the whole palm.

The impenetrable wall was smooth and cold. He sent small tendrils of power on each side just to find out it had no beginning and no end. This was it.

I found it. Now it might get a bit uncomfortable, he said into silence.

Go ahead.

Rhysand placed both palms on the surface and closed his eyes. With exhale his powers stretched, covering the wall, looking for weak spots he could use to get in. Seemingly there were none. He refused to give up so easily and so he pushed harder until he found one.

He knew that if he stepped inside, he could stay trapped without chance to escape. Carefully he pushed one claw in. What he found there reminded a ball of tangled threads. He sighed. Why he expected it would be easy.

Rhys pushed another claw in and began to untangling the mess. One of the threads had loosened. Before taking it out he briefly looked what kind of memory it contained. It was something from your childhood, faces of both of your parents clearly visible and smiling. It was a happy family moment. This one is good, he thought and pulled it out.

The thread flew on imaginary wind and settled on one of the dead trees, melting into it. For a while nothing happened, the tree was just as dead as before. Rhysand tilted his head to the side, frowning. What the hell was that supposed to mean. Did the memory return back behind the wall? He was about to step closer to examine it when the ground around the tree shone with dim light. The light travelled to the roots, gathering around and.. Went out.

Are you kidding me? Rhysand murmured, disappointed.

Suddenly the light exploded from the roots, climbing up the trunk, reviving loosened dead chains, straining them. Rhysand had to shut his eyes and even shield them with his forearm. One of the swirling chains hit into his ribs, followed by a snapping sound. He cursed. When he dared to crack his eyes open again, new sparkling tree with wide crown grew in front of him. He checked his side, but there was only a small bruise.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. It was just.. unexpected. I've never experienced anything like this. Do you want to continue?"

Low hum of agreement came in answer. Rhysand again stretched his powers along the wall. This time it was easier to find the crack. Choosing one of the light, happy colours he untangled another thread, briefly checked it and pulled it out. His action was followed by explosion of light. He repeated this until you stopped him, checking on you after each memory he returned to you.

When he finished the dead forest wasn't so dead anymore. Instead it was laced with flickering lights.

Taglist:

@impossibelle @sevikas-whore @b0xerdancer @ladylizzieofdarbyshire @tele86 @mybestfriendmademe @nocasdatsgay @yunloyal @nebarious @isabiss

[spicyspiders]

Request from @xweirdo101x that wanted a story where the reader is a member of the task force that was captured for a year and by the time he's rescued, his hair has turned white. I hope you like it!

It took a few months to come to the conclusion that you weren’t getting out of your detainment. You were tired of hoping and knew you needed to save your energy. Though it wasn’t physical to hope, it would be wiser to put your thoughts elsewhere. 

You didn't try to escape. Though your thoughts were filled with possibilities, you never put them into action. 

It was a quiet day when they came to save you. Well, quiet up until they showed up.

You were in your cell when they found you. You had just eaten and felt tired and sluggish. You sat against one of the four walls, your eyes getting heavier and heavier. The loud sound of yelling was what had your eyes shooting open. 

After a few moments of yelling and the sound of a body hitting the ground, it went quiet again. During those moments, you inched over into the corner of the room, trying to make yourself look as small as you could. 

Whoever they were, they checked each and every cell down the line. When they reached yours, you tried to settle your beating heart while adrenaline shot through your veins. You thought it was a trick of your eyes when the cell door opened and Price stepped through the door. Blood was rushing through your body to your legs and arms in case you needed to run, so surely it wasn’t actually Price, but a trick caused by blood loss through your brain and eyes, right?

“Can you walk?” Price asked. 

“Yes,” you nodded and looked up at him with wide eyes. 

Price held one of his gloved hands down in front of you, and once you were up, he wrapped an arm around your shoulder so you could walk together. 

“I can walk,” you reminded him. 

“It’s faster this way,” Price said, his tone leaving no room for arguments. He pulled you through the dank corridor, the other hand not wrapped around your shoulder held out in front of him, a gun in his hand. 

Price's body was hot against yours. So much so that it made you uncomfortable, but when he felt you tense up, his arm only tightened around you. You pushed through the feeling, instead, you focused on keeping your legs moving. 

“They’re all gone, commander,” Ghost immediately said when you went through a door and were met with the sight of the rest of the task force. 

“Dead?” Price asked in return. 

“Yes,” Ghost jerked his head in a stiff nod, then his attention was on you.

All of their attention was like they were waiting to respond to the words as well. You weren’t sure if you were supposed to be happy, you just wanted to be home, away from all the bloodshed. “Can we go?” You asked, your voice rough. 

Price nodded, he unwrapped his arm from around your shoulder, but still, you felt the warmth. He took his spot in front of you, Ghost at your right, Soap on your left, and then Gaz at your back, effectively surrounding you. 

It wasn’t until you were back on base that your heart finally slowed down from where it thudded against your ribs. On the journey back, there were instances where you thought it was going to, but it would only start back up again, your brain thinking you were about to be captured again. 

The smell of the base felt familiar to your nose, even after being away for nearly a year. The smell almost made you sick, a feeling that all of them were able to easily read. 

“Go shower and we’ll make you something to eat-”

“They fed me,” you cut Price off, making the man flinch at your cold tone. 

Price responded after nodding, “go shower then. We’ll talk to you about what happened when you’re ready.”

Your hands balled into tight fists at your side. You wanted to question him and see what he would say if you were to ask what if you weren’t ready. What if you wouldn’t ever be? But all you did was give a tight nod. 

You knew it wouldn’t magically fix you, but it didn’t make you feel all that better. You were clean, but you still carried around what happened to you. It weighed on you heavily, making you feel more exhausted than you already felt. 

You thought about going straight to bed, but you intead walked to the living room. As you approached, you could hear the noise of whatever was playing on the television drift through the doorway. The sound greeted you, unlike the men that sat in various spots throughout the room. 

It made you want to scream, the way they were all looking at you. “What?” You snapped, not talking to one of them in particular. 

“Your hair,” Gaz said, breaking their silence. 

You had nearly forgotten about your hair. It was one of the biggest physical marks your captors had left on you. It’s no wonder why Price wanted to talk to you about it. 

You shrugged, “everyone gets grey hairs,” you said, looking from Gaz to the television. You couldn’t tell what was playing. 

“Not like that,” Gaz answered. 

His words made you flinch. After you had showered, you had to stop by your room to put on some clothes. You couldn’t remember the details of how you left it. You knew that it was normal to not remember such small details, but it still made you want to cry. You thought that changing into something more comfortable would make you feel better, but being in the room again with all of them, you felt naked. 

Tomorrow, you would burn the clothes they brought you home in. And then, you didn’t know what you would do. You had to live day-by-day when you were captured, not knowing what the next day would bring. Looks like living that way would remain. 

At the moment, all you wanted to do was sit down. Luckily there was an empty chair away from them. It only kept them physically away so you didn’t have to worry about one of them trying to wrap a comforting arm around your shoulder, but you still felt their gazes watch you closely as you sat down.

“What’re we watching?”

“Not sure, we just turned it on.”

His response helped a little. The fact that none of them recognized what was playing and not that you didn’t recognize it because you didn’t get to watch television for the better part of a year made you feel better.

When you folded yourself up into a ball and rested your head on your knees, the other men only kept on staring. You tried for a little bit to focus on the screen, to see if you could actually figure out what was playing, but it was hard to keep a steady mind. 

“Will you all please stop staring,” you said, not taking your eyes off the screen. 

“We missed you,” Gaz said. 

You let out a long sigh and let your forehead thunk down onto your knees. You didn’t want to have this conversation, not tonight. 

“How long did you look for me?”

“We’ve been looking up until we found you, but there were other things we also had to do,” Price responded. 

“I’m not angry with you all, I know you had other missions. They didn’t hurt me that bad, really, the only scar they left was this,” you ran a hand through your hair. 

Price held his hands up, “we’ll talk about it more when you’re ready.”

“And if I’m not? If I’ll never be?” You asked, feeling brave. 

“Then that’s okay. Those men are gone, we’ll never let them hurt you again,” Price said, his words sure and concrete. 

You glanced at each of them and watched as they nodded at you to prove their commander’s point.

“It suits you, you know,” Soap said from his spot on one of the couches. He let out an oof when Ghost slapped a hand onto his chest. 

“Shut up, Soap,” you responded, a smile that you haven’t felt in a long time on your lips. You looked over at Ghost who was pulling his hand off Soap’s chest, a warm look in his eyes. 

“We made some food for you while you were in the shower, whenever you want it,” Price said after standing up when a commercial break came on. He stopped on his walk to the door, stopping beside your chair, “it’s good to have you back soldier,” his words sounding nothing but sincere. 

Your body still went tense when Price placed a hand on your shoulder, but you raised your hand and placed it on top of his, “it’s good to be back.”

[folkookie97]

❝ drunk confessions (1) ❞ — jjk

— SUMMARY: ❝Jungkook was intense. An emotional mess in your life even after the breakup. But you couldn't help but miss all his chaos during those endless late nights when you were cuddled up with another man.❞

— PAIRING: ex bf!jungkook x ex gf!!reader (soft bf!taehyung)

— TYPE: angst | ex lovers!au, non-idol!au

— WORD COUNT: 1,738

— WARNINGS: argument, curse words, alcohol, toxic!jungkook, jungkook is bad at feelings, emotional infidelity, mention of sex, mention of bf!taehyung, based on From the Dining Table (Harry Styles)

— NOTES: jungkook as toxic ex bf kills me every time i think about him.

— RELEASE DATE: July 15, 2023

— CROSSPOSTING: ao3, wattpad, spirit fanfics

Your eyelids couldn't close. Stinging sensations arose in the waterlines of your eyes with every frustrated attempt to reach the sleepy darkness. Your own body defied the human need to at least take a nap.

You were screwed. You knew better than anyone how endless the early hours of the morning could be.

Your nightly sleep had been a mess ever since storms of thoughts and reflections became a routine for your brain during resting hours. You couldn't relax when your mind insisted on filling you with confusion by recalling all the conflicts of the past few months.

And most importantly: recalling that damn phone call.

The last one you had with Jungkook.

You remembered all the details. It was possible to feel once again how strong your heartbeats was when the phone rang that night. Your hands, sweaty with sudden emotion, struggled to answer the call as quickly as possible, afraid that something you had been waiting for so long might accidentally end up in voicemail due to lack of swiftness.

The memory of how the phone fell silent for long seconds as soon as you called Jungkook's name. A part of you was afraid that the call hadn't been intentional, just something like a misdial.

You two hadn't spoken to each other for weeks, and maybe Jungkook wasn't even planning to call you that night.

Even if that night was very significant to you.

To relieve the flutter, you swallowed hard at the mere thought that your enthusiasm might have been in vain.

A sigh could be heard on the other line when Jungkook's name was mentioned once again.

"I can't do this anymore, (Y/N)."

The girl's heart skipped a beat for a moment, and you could swear a buzzing sound echoed through the room.

"What are you talking about?" You asked.

"Me and you. Us. Our relationship is so complicated. A real mess..." The boy sobbed. You could feel that his voice was so broken as your heart.

"Kookie... if this is about our last fight, I'm sorry. It was such a stupid reason. I know, but I..."

"FUCKING HELL!"

The male scream echoed through the device, startling you not just because of a thunderous volume but also because it was followed by Jungkook's laughter.

A sarcastic laughter.

Lack of emotional intelligence in arguments had always been a characteristic of Jungkook's personality. He was a chaos. A hurricane ready to destroy everything in its path.

And lately you've been hating that habit about him.

Jungkook's intensity made you fall in love with him two years ago. But it had also made our love being so messy and toxic. Turning sunny skies into deadly storms.

There was no longer a sweet relationship for you.

"Can you hear yourself? You're almost begging me. That's because I wanna leave you. It's so pathetic. You're so clingy." He said.

Tears welled up in your eyes as you checked the time on your phone's screen, the hard brightness hurting your vision.

"Jungkook, I don't wanna fight right now. It's only ten minutes until my birthday. I thought you were calling to wish me an early happy birthday or..."

"Or what?" Jungkook laughed, his sobbing merging with the bitterness of his laughter. "Did you think I wanted to apologize for that day?"

"You said you were sorry..." You reminded him, biting your lower lip to suppress the waterfall of tears streaming down your cheeks.

"I used to feel. But only until I drank these two whiskey bottles and turned me into a tearful wreck." The sound of glass shattering on the floor was heard. Your desire to ask if he hurted himself was almost bigger than the urgency to keep your crying unnoticed. "Do you know why I'm drinking on a Wednesday night?"

You refrained from answering. His question was almost rhetorical, a pure melancholic rambling of a drunken human being.

So dramatic like Jungkook always used to be.

"I was with Lori today," Jungkook's confession triggered a pain in your stomach. Your effort to not vomit at his words was utterly depressing. "We saw each other, had sex like we always do. She's good at what she does. She always rides my dick and also looks like a porn actress when she's on her knees giving me a amazing oral..."

Maybe Jungkook would laugh when your disguise fell. You thought he would pause his monologue to mock how your sobs were constant and how pathetic you seemed.

Or maybe he would keeping rambling until the pain of your broken heart became unbearable and your brain convinced you to end the call.

However the thought of Jungkook crying like you were doing had never crossed your mind. Not even for a single second of your life.

He was sobbing like a child who got hurt on the playground; helpless and seeking the comfort of some trusted adult.

Before you could filter the words, the question had already escaped your lips.

"Why are you crying?"

And realizing the chaos inside his mind, Jungkook laughed again amidst tears. A sorrowful laughter.

"Because she's not you, (Y/N)."

The girl widened her eyes. The tears turned crystalline and your pupils dilated as Jungkook's words caused stumbles in your heart.

What was he trying to say? How drunk was he to lay his feelings bare for the first time since the breakup?

The anticipation of a confession pained your mind. A variety of scenarios emerged every second.

"I love you so much, (Y/N). I love everything about you. And this feeling it's killing me because missing you hurts too much." He sighed. The sound of breaking glass resurfaced and you swallowed hard as you picturing that scene. "When Lori told me she saw you yesterday, I swear I was desperate to talk to you as soon as possible."

"Yesterday she was wearing my old shirt..." You interrupted feeling a intense burning in your throat. "That Guns N' Roses shirt that you bought me in our first month of dating."

"You left it here at home and your damn scent was still on it. I needed a way to overshadow it and I..."

"Fucked your coworker."

Jungkook was speechless for a while. No comforting words could deny the injustice of the situation. He knew that you didn't deserve to see Lori wearing that shirt that had once been so special for both of you.

You didn't deserve to suffer through any of it. You didn't deserve to shed your tears or be broken-hearted for someone so unworthy.

Jungkook knew that you didn't deserve to be destroyed by the chaos he brought into others' lives.

He loved you. But he didn't know how to make you happy. He didn't know if he could ever fix your heart.

Was he selfish for wanting to try get your sweet love back? Was it too late for you two?

"Jungkook, I need to hang up."

His heart instantly broke at your warning and the formality in your words.

"(Y/N), please," The boy begged with a trembling voice. "You need to listen to me. I've been holding back everything I feel for you for so long, I need..."

It made you furious. You could even cry with rage.

"You've been holding all this bullshit back for a long time? Then keep holding it back for a little while longer." The words came out harsher than intended but you weren't in the mood to regret it. For the second time that night you checked the time on your phone screen and wiped away the tears from your cheeks with your free hand. "It's already my birthday, Jungkook. You didn't even call me to apologize or wish me a happy birthday. You just wanted to hurt me. Hurt my heart. My feelings."

"My baby, I'm so sorry. Fuck. I swear I..."

Your classic pet name pushed you over the edge.

"I don't wanna talk to you today." You admitted. "I love you. I swear I fucking love you. I love you much more than I would like and than I should."

You sighed hearing Jungkook cry. You were definitely not used to the pain you felt when you heard him cry.

"But I'm tired Jungkook. I'm tired of loving you and I'm getting tired of you."

"I love you, (Y/N). I just wanna try to fix things. I'm trying, baby. I swear I'm trying."

"I know, Kookie." At least you really knew that. "But I don't wanna deal with this whirlwind of emotions that you've been hiding for years. Call me when you're sober if you truly love me and really wanna try to fix things."

And in that early morning, when the clock struck 12h02 AM, you had your last call with Jeon Jungkook.

Your request for him to return with real sobriety not happened. Hypotheses swam through your mind over the next few months. Did he regretted the brief expression of feelings? Were the love confessions and desperate crying just a delusion resulting from alcohol?

You couldn't know the true cause for Jungkook's ghosting but the choice not to seek the truth haunted you at night, when your head rested on the pillow and your eyes were unable to close.

"Darling, are you okay? Why are you crying?"

With a slight startle, you directed your attention to the male body beside you. The young man had his long fingers wrapped around your waist tracing caresses on your bare skin.

His lips were pressed into a thin line and his eyebrows furrowed in a countenance that indicated excessive worry. He looked a lot like the guy you used to love.

Actually the one you still loved.

The name Jungkook almost escaped you in a tearful whisper.

"Yes, Tae. I'm fine. It's just... just a nightmare."

The man soothe you with a sweet smile and pulled you into a hug. It was a square smile different from the typical bunny smile Jungkook had. However the image of your ex-boyfriend remained permanent in your mind as Taehyung caressed your hair. Your heart hurts with the contrast between your thoughts and the cruel reality.

Both of they were extremely different yet had similarities that made your stomach churn.

And as Taehyung tried to pull you into a deep sleep whispering lyrics of romantic songs in your ear, you wondered if Jungkook's name would show up on your caller ID someday again.