#but you've also been conditioned to believe that asking for help is the most awful thing anyone could ever do

[sfucked]

Ofc you can't expect people to read your mind, but I posted 2 back-to-back vents on the secret blog and it summoned my partner for snuggles soo maybe y'all just gotta keep looking

[littlemissmanga]

I just need opinions on how you think any of the 501st men or Clone-Force 99 would handle chronic pain, something like migraines maybe, in their partner? I love all your work btw it's really incredible 🩵🩵🩵

Aw, thank you, Nonnie!

So this is something I think about a lot as I have a fucked up back. Fortunately, I have a really good group of drs so I've been able to go longer and longer without a flair up, but when I'm incapacitated on my couch, thinking of how these guys would react brings me so much comfort.

I think most of the boys would be really understanding and helpful. But let's get into it! HCs below the cut :)

Hunter may be able to sense acutely when you have a bad day before you even notice the symptoms (those heightened senses strike me like the way medical alert dogs can sense a seizure coming on in their human). His first instinct is to hold you against him, but he holds off until he ensures you are in the most comfortable place, your environment is perfect for what you need, and you have any medication needed. Then he'll wrap around you and do what he can to make you feel better. IDK why, but I feel like he'd gently hum a little tune as he holds you, literally trying anything and everything to soothe you. If he can't take away the physical pain, he can make damn sure you feel cared for.

Wrecker is also someone who's gonna try and cuddle you through an episode. If that's something that helps you, you'll be in heaven. He'll literally make a nest for you and bring you all the snacks. If your condition comes with muscle pain, he'll give you the most gentle and soothing massage. He will get that sad look in his eyes, though. Personally, I like seeing my partner care but I know some people don't like to feel pitied so if that's you, you may need to have a conversation with him. Similarly, if physical contact isn't helpful for you, you'll have to let him down gently. Best to give him something else to do - like help with the responsibilities you can't do - because Wrecker really doesn't like feeling as if he can't help.

Tech is going to learn everything about your condition itself. And I mean everything. He'll become the (secret) preeminent expert on your condition if he has to - and he'll very much believe he has to because frankly he doesn't trust previous doctors who told you this was just a condition you'll have to live with. You have to have a few talks with him that his insistence on trying new approaches to "cures" isn't helpful when you're having a flair up, and that while you love the intention behind it, you need him to either help you in the moment or leave it to you. That sobers him up a bit. But he mostly just puts the "cure" search on the backburner and focuses more on finding the optimal remedies for your symptoms in the moment. He won't really cuddle with you unless you expressly ask but he absolutely will bring his datapad into the room and research/work by your bedside so he can monitor your progress. He'll wake you every few hours to give you more medicine and make sure you stay hydrated.

Echo also studies up on your condition, but unlike Tech, he only cares about remedies. He'll run his findings by Tech, but generally trusts the literature regarding mitigating symptoms. If you find something that works better than other remedies, he's a stickler about making sure you have access to that remedy at all times. He's a big believer in being prepared. He may have some small treats for you, but he'd prefer to have nutritionally balanced food for you during a flair up to give your body everything it needs to get through this and recover. He usually doesn't cuddle with you, preferring to give you the space you need to settle in and recover. But he will be touching you constantly - caressing your head or arm - and talking softly with you if you're up for it.

Crosshair doesn't like admitting your condition scares him. You've explained it's not fatal or anything but it does cause you pain on the regular. And he doesn't like how matter of fact you are when you tell him you experience pain strong enough to put you out of commission with enough regularity that you have a plan for what to do when it happens. He knows you're not a complainer and you tend to push yourself, so for something to knock you out means it's serious. He feels useless and weak at not being able to help in what he feels is a meaningful way.

At first, he'll pull away, selfishly hiding from the sight of you in pain because he doesn't want to confront it. But if he does see you struggling or if he hears you in pain/call his name, he'll be right at your side. You need him. You asked for him. He won't leave you alone again. It'll take him a bit to figure out little tricks to helping you/making you feel better, but eventually he'll get into a rhythm. And woe be to anyone who crosses your path if you have a flair up in public - Crosshair is very much a shoot/punch first ask if they were a threat to you (in act or attitude) later.

501st Boys

Jesse, and Fives are going to learn all they can about the best way to make you feel better not through research but literally by quizzing you. They try asking the first time they see you in an acute flair up and realize those questions will have to wait until you're feeling a little better. And by quiz, I mean these guys prove why ARCs are made different. They'll get down into the minute details. The next time you feel your pain coming on, they'll make sure the environment is perfect for you to rest - as dark and quiet as you need, with all the water and snacks you could possibly want. And they'll totally give you snacks you want that'll make you feel better emotionally more than good for you snacks. If they can stay, they'll bring you bring you fresh, cool towels to drape over your forehead or ice packs/heating packs for your muscles every 30 minutes. Both feel like failures when they have to leave you during an episode.

Between the two, Jesse definitely relies on his humor and tries to keep you talking (if it doesn't hurt you more) to get you through this, and you love that he treats you like normal, that there's no pity in his eyes. But for Fives, this is a situation where he actually gets quiet, lowering his energy to give you the space to rest up.

Kix is, like Tech, going to do all the research. Unlike Tech, Kix has access to military-grade medical facilities. And he WILL use them to get a thorough understanding not just of your condition, but how your body handles the condition. He hates to see you in pain, and it's a negotiation with him as to how much medication you want/need as if Kix had his way, he'd just stick you in a bacta tank each flair up to minimize your pain and any damage ... which obviously isn't practical. Also, there's no "Maybe I can push through it, this flair up feels manageable." The moment Kix knows you're feeling symptoms, you're in the medbay. You'll also find the smallest of treats next to your bed when you wake up.

Dogma similarly, tolerates no negotiation. Sure, you've been dealing with your condition for a while, but if you're not following dr.'s or Kix's orders to the letter, he will make you. I feel like Dogma is incredibly passionate and feels deeply, and he will not risk your health or well being, even if you ask him to just trust you. Eventually, you need a mediation with Kix so Dogma gives you a little room to breathe. Like Wrecker, it helps to give Dogma things to do while you have a flair up so he feels like he's helping. He'll bring you everything you need and then go tidy up your living space or do your paperwork on your behalf or just general errands you need to run. Acts of service is his love language anyway, so this is a system that works really well for you both.

Rex hates that he can't always be with you during a flair up. He literally has a list of people you can call (in order of those he trusts the most to take care of you) if you need assistance. But you've come up with a code to message to his datapad in case he can't be there. If he gets your message, he'll excuse himself as quickly as possible to call you and just talk you through the worst of your flair up and ask if you need someone to be with you.

If he can be there, you won't find a more attentive and gentle person to nurse you through. He'll make sure you're settled and have everything you need and he'll talk you through it until you fall asleep. Then, he'll straighten up your living space and make some food for you for when you wake up. When you do, he'll give you a small portion to start with and hold you against him when you're done.

Tup will run you the most perfect bath ever. Water at the perfect temperature, no harsh smells in case that makes things worse. He helps you get settled then starts helping you wash. And by helping I mean he refuses to let you do anything for yourself. Getting your hair washed by Tup is a spiritual experience and something that, even if your pain persists, reenergizes your soul. He'll dry you gently with the fluffiest towels and then settles you in your room with all your comforts. He's another who will sit by your side until you feel better and he'll cuddle on request if it won't hurt you more.

I hope this is what you were looking for!!

Taglist: @clonemedickix @idontgetanysleep @sunshinesdaydream @dystopicjumpsuit @dreamie411 @secondaryrealm @wizardofrozz @wolffegirlsunite @blueink-bluesoul @wings-and-beskar @freesia-writes @multi-fan-dom-madness @starrylothcat @sinfulsalutations

[zintranslations]

Kaleidoscope of Death, Ch. 70

Kaleidoscope of Death by Xi Zixu Link to Chinese / Link to ongoing Taida Translations

Chapter 70: Appetite

Can't help it anymore. When he heard Qin Budai say this, Lin Qiushi felt a chill deep in his bones. The person before him wore fresh blood on his lips, and stared at him with a pair of silent, red-veined eyes. The look that was so clearly stifling something lifted a light layer of goosebumps along Lin Qiushi's arms. All of Lin Qiushi's instincts were ringing the alarm—that the person in front of him was very, very dangerous.

Qin Budai gradually got closer and closer. His footsteps finally halted before Lin Qiushi, and he slowly called out Lin Qiushi's name. His tone was both cloying and cold, sending very mixed signals.

At that moment, Lin Qiushi wanted to turn and run. But he also felt that the instant he left his back open, something completely out of his control would happen. So he thoroughly smothered that urge to escape and hide, and instead said, "Qin Budai, are you alright?"

Qin Budai smiled eerily at Lin Qiushi. "I'm fine." It probably would've been better if he hadn't smiled at all; it only made his expression seem more twisted.

Just as the two stood in stalemate, Chen Fei's voice came warily from outside the kitchen. "What are you two doing?"

Chen Fei reached and flipped the light switch on the wall. The entire kitchen lit up, and he got a good look at the scene before him.

"Qin Budai— What are you doing?" His gaze fell on that slab of meat Qin Budai had been chewing on, and the moment after he asked this question, he seemed to comprehend exactly what Qin Budai had done. There was a brief hitch in his breath. "You just came out of a door?"

Qin Budai slowly nodded.

"Hungry?" Chen Fei sounded very calm, like he saw nothing wrong at all with the scene before him. "Let me cook you something to eat."

Qin Budai didn't speak, just turned and left.

Watching him go, Chen Fei didn't stop him, just sighed lightly.

"What in the world happened?" Lin Qiushi wasn't as experienced as Chen Fei, and couldn't understand what was going on with Qin Budai. Honestly, Qin Budai’s current state reminded Lin Qiushi of the monsters inside the doors.

"He's probably been affected by the door world." Chen Fei went to the fridge, and pulled out a steak. He really was planning to cook it for Qin Budai. "The human psyche is a fragile thing. After a strong shock, it can be prone to disorder." After saying this, he glanced over at Lin Qiushi. "Not everyone can accept things as calmly as you can."

Lin Qiushi didn't know what to say.

"The worst situation is when everybody else is dead, but the door and the key haven't appeared." Chen Fei lit the stove, heated the oil, and set the steak into the pan with a sizzle. "You're trapped alone inside the door, not knowing how long you'll be stuck there…"

His voice got lower and lower.

It was indeed nightmarish.

To be trapped inside alone. Just the thought of it sent chills throughout the body. Lin Qiushi leaned against the threshold. "Qin Budai… will be okay, right?"

Chen Fei shook his head. "I don't know."

Lin Qiushi, "what do you mean you don't know?"

Chen Fei, "I mean that I don't know if he'll get better, if he can separate reality from the world of the doors."

Lin Qiushi frowned. "If he can't?"

Chen Fei's motions paused, and a self-mocking smile appeared across his face. "If he can't? If he can't… Then he's done for."

Killing people inside the door was fine, but in reality, there were laws and sanctions in place.

Plus, people like this became very dangerous. They may not murder, but they still may commit some other drastic crime. People who could not distinguish between the inside and outside could not continue staying at the mansion. Of course, this wasn't something Chen Fei told Lin Qiushi, because he didn't think it necessary.

The steak was done. Chen Fei plated and brought it to the dining table outside, handing it to Qin Budai.

Qin Budai cut the steak apart with a fork and knife, but his peripherals lingered on Lin Qiushi. He still felt hungry, and the steak before him was incapable of satiating that full-body, anxious gluttony he felt. But he didn't dare make it apparent—could only keep his head down, pretending to be happily chowing down.

Chen Fei watched from the side. Lin Qiushi noticed his brow furrowed in a knot, and a certain scrutiny in his eyes, like he was in the middle of diagnosing Qin Budai's condition.

Chen Fei asked, "what did you see inside the door?"

At the mention of the door, Qin Budai couldn't help a whole-body shiver. He opened his mouth, but said nothing even after a moment, like words couldn't possibly describe the world he'd seen.

Chen Fei, "hm?"

Qin Budai's reply was vague. "It was a very scary world. There wasn't much to eat. I was hungry the whole time."

Chen Fei didn't speak, sinking into thought.

Qin Budai finished the steak, and very politely bid them good night, returning upstairs to sleep.

Lin Qiushi stayed where he was, watching him go. He still felt there was something off with Qin Budai, but he couldn’t concretely say what it was.

Chen Fei said, "I'll ask Ruan-ge tomorrow."

Lin Qiushi, "ask him what?"

Chen Fei sighed, "which world Qin Budai went into, of course." Qin Budai was a newbie, still entering the first round of doors right now. He didn't have Lin Qiushi's luck—the group only took him through a couple of doors, and left him on his own for the most recent one.

Lin Qiushi nodded his agreement.

That night, Lin Qiushi didn't sleep very well. His mind, as he tossed and turned, was filled with the image of Qin Budai eating that raw meat. To tell the truth, after seeing that scene, even his sense of distinction between reality and the world of the doors felt blurred. It was an awful feeling, and left him filled with unease.

The next day, Lin Qiushi went downstairs sporting twin bags under his eyes.

Cheng Qianli had just come back from walking Toast, and Toast was twitching its fat little butt around, chasing and playing with Chestnut.

Cheng Qianli saw Lin Qiushi's severe lack of sleep, and said, "what happened? You look like you haven't woken up yet."

Lin Qiushi yawned. "It's nothing. I stayed up too late last night."

Cheng Qianli, "oh. Come eat breakfast then. My brother just cooked."

Cheng Yixie made porridge, along with a few small dishes. He was sitting and slowly eating at the table. Lin Qiushi went over to say good morning. Then he also grabbed a bowl to eat.

The people inside the mansion all began to gradually wake. Lin Qiushi saw Chen Fei. Then he also saw Qin Budai.

Qin Budai no longer had that scary aura from last night about him. He'd changed into a fresh outfit, and wore a smile. He approached Lin Qiushi and said, "good morning."

Lin Qiushi, "good morning."

"Sorry to scare you last night," Qin Budai said. "I'd just come out a door, and hadn't quite gotten myself together." He smiled, eyes rainbowing in a friendly expression. "I really am sorry."

"Don't worry about it," Lin Qiushi said. "You've… gotten yourself together now?"

Qin Budai nodded, indicating he has.

Chen Fei sat next to them, watching the two interact. He was examining Qin Budai without giving anything away, clearly not completely believing Qin Budai's excuse.

Not long after Ruan Nanzhu also came down. He maintained his typical aloofness, and made to head out after eating, before Chen Fei stopped him.

"Ruan-ge," Chen Fei said. "There's something I want to talk to you about."

Ruan Nanzhu nodded, and the two went off into a corner.

Lin Qiushi knew Chen Fei was likely telling Ruan Nanzhu about what happened with Qin Budai. To tell the truth, the current Qin Budai didn't seem off at all. It was difficult to link him to the person manically consuming raw meat the night before. But however his psyche was actually doing, if he'd gotten better, Lin Qiushi couldn't be the judge. So he thought this matter was better left to Chen Fei.

Lin Qiushi finished eating, and returned to his room.

Spring had just ripened. Sunlight spilled in brilliance, a cool breeze caressed, and Lin Qiushi sat at his window, turning on his computer to browse that forum open only to people who'd been inside the doors.

There were lots of interesting posts on this forum. Lin Qiushi had already developed the habit of reading through them daily. Casually, he plucked a piece of candy from his table and popped it in his mouth. He moved the mouse and began browsing the posts.

The posts were a mess, and full of strange tales.

Some discussed the world inside the doors, others mentioned urban legends. Others still organized same-city meet-ups.

Lin Qiushi read through them with fascination.

Because they'd just come from a door, Ruan Nanzhu hadn't organized any activities for Lin Qiushi, just letting him rest.

Lin Qiushi thought that wasting away a day like this actually felt quite comfortable. He ate lunch, took a nap, and let the day pass by just like that.

After Chen Fei spoke to Ruan Nanzhu that morning, the two left the mansion. Nobody knew where they'd gone off to.

But Lin Qiushi was already used to them appearing and disappearing at will, and wasn't curious at all.

Cheng Qianli and Cheng Yixie though, were gone as well. Lin Qiushi guessed Cheng Yixie had brought Cheng Qianli into some lower level doors for training.

There was still Yi Manman, Lu Yanxue, and Qin Budai inside the mansion. The four of them ate a simple dinner, and Lin Qiushi retired to his room to rest.

After a shower, Lin Qiushi lied on his bed playing sudoku. This inconsequential game was always quick to calm his mood, and also had the benefit of making him sleepy.

As he gradually filled the boxes, however, he heard a knock at his door.

"Who is it?" Lin Qiushi went to door and pulled it open, to find Qin Budai standing there.

Qin Budai said, "hi. Can I talk to you for a minute?"

Lin Qiushi blinked. "Right now?"

Qin Budai nodded.

Lin Qiushi hesitated. "Sure… Let's go talk in the study. Give me a second, I'll come over after I change." He was in his pajamas after all.

Qin Budai quietly watched Lin Qiushi. Currently, Lin Qiushi was dressed in white cotton pajamas, and his long elegant neck and his pretty collarbones were all on display. Lin Qiushi was handsome, with a gentle temperament. He looked instantly easy to get along with. He also looked… tasty.

Qin Budai suddenly licked his lips.

Lin Qiushi eyed him warily. "Qin Budai?" He felt there was something off about the person in front of him.

Qin Budai said, "I only need five minutes. I'll be quick." As he spoke, he squeezed his way through Lin Qiushi's bedroom door.

Lin Qiushi noticed his motions, and took a step back, moving into a defensive position. "Do you need something?"

Qin Budai watched Lin Qiushi. In his eyes surfaced an indescribable hunger.

Goosebumps. Lin Qiushi, "Qin Budai?"

Qin Budai, "I…"

But before he'd finished speaking, he was already lunging at Lin Qiushi.

Though Lin Qiushi had been prepared, Qin Budai still ran into him straight on with great force, knocking Lin Qiushi flat onto the bed.

Lin Qiushi, "Qin—"

Just as the name left his lips, Qin Budai's fingers gripped tight over his mouth. This wasn't the strength of a human at all—Qin Budai could force down all of Lin Qiushi's struggling with a single hand. Lin Qiushi's eyes widened, watching Qin Budai's covetous gaze fixate on his neck.

"Just one taste," Qin Budai spoke lightly. "I'll just have one taste…" He bent down, and began lapping along Lin Qiushi's chin.

Lin Qiushi remembered the slab of meat that Qin Budai tore apart the night before, and began struggling anew with all his strength. But Qin Budai's strength made his efforts seem like a mayfly throwing itself against the trunk of a tree.

Qin Budai, staring at Lin Qiushi's throat, swallowed. He parted his lips, revealing the white rows of teeth, and went to bite…

"Mmph…" Lin Qiushi continued to fight.

Just as he felt the cold touch of Qin Budai's teeth, there came knocking at the door. Fear peering through his expression, Qin Budai glanced at the door.

Dong, dong, dong. The knocks continued.

Lin Qiushi met Qin Budai's gaze. He'd thought that now somebody was here, Qin Budai would release him—but instead, there was resolution in Qin Budai's eyes.

"Sorry," Qin Budai spoke lowly right next to Lin Qiushi's ear. "You look too appetizing. I really… can't help it anymore. Even if I'm discovered, I don't want to let go…" His teeth remained on Lin Qiushi's neck, and began to apply pressure.

Lin Qiushi's eyes shot wide open as he felt the dull pain spread along his skin. He didn't think Qin Budai would actually bite.

With a loud bang!, the locked door was kicked open.

Qin Budai, lying over Lin Qiushi's body, was seized by a pair of hands, lifted up, and brutally thrown against the wall. Qin Budai shouted in pain, while Lin Qiushi fumbled to sit up in bed. He saw Ruan Nanzhu, with a chilly expression.

Ruan Nanzhu didn't speak. He approached Qin Budai, taking a green bronze ornament off a side table as he went, then grabbed Qin Budai's chin to pry his mouth open.

Terrified, Qin Budai was trembling all over.

Ruan Nanzhu's tone dipped to cold frost. He said, "if you like eating so much, have at it." Then he shoved the thing right into Qin Budai's mouth, breaking off two of Qin Budai's teeth along the way.

Qin Budai completely fainted from the pain. It was only then that Ruan Nanzhu released his hand, and returned to Lin Qiushi. There was a deep furrow in his brow, and he seemed to be in a terrible mood.

"Alright?"

Lin Qiushi, "I'm fine."

He said, "I was careless."

He hadn't thought that Qin Budai would attack him under circumstances like this. Though Chen Fei had already warned Lin Qiushi, he'd still underestimated the effect the door had on Qin Budai.

Ruan Nanzhu stared at Lin Qiushi.

Lin Qiushi was made horribly self-conscious by his gaze. He noticed it was fixed on his neck, and so reached to touch. It was only then that he noticed the teeth mark Qin Budai left on his throat… Though no skin had been broken, it still hurt.

Did this need a tetanus shot or what… As Lin Qiushi was thinking this, Ruan Nanzhu suddenly bent down over him.

Startled by Ruan Nanzhu's motions, Lin Qiushi was just about to ask what he was doing, when he caught Lin Qiushi firmly by the arms—the next moment, the spot where he'd been bitten was being roughly rubbed at. Lin Qiushi's first reaction was that Ruan Nanzhu had somehow been infected by Qin Budai's abnormal condition, and so shoved hard and shouted in pain: "Ruan Nanzhu—calm down!! It's me, it's Lin Qiushi!!"

Ruan Nanzhu bit. Only after staying there for a handful of seconds did he release the bite, looking down with satisfaction at the mark that was now covered over by his mark on Lin Qiushi's neck. Likely because he'd heard Lin Qiushi's shouts, he spoke evenly, "I know you're Lin Qiushi."

"Were you contaminated?" Lin Qiushi clasped his neck, hissing at the pain. "What did you bite me for?!"

Ruan Nanzhu spat out a single word: "Disinfection."

Lin Qiushi, "…" What the hell was wrong with Ruan Nanzhu.

After saying this, Ruan Nanzhu dragged off the fainted Qin Budai and left. Lin Qiushi looked over the mess of his room and the broken door, and for a moment didn't know what to do at all.

Qin Budai's bite hadn't torn skin, but Ruan Nanzhu's had. Lin Qiushi inspected his wound, warily wondering he needed to go get a rabies shot or something. He'd never been bitten by a person before, and so searched online for what to do.

Turned out he should've left it alone. The search left Lin Qiushi scared out of his wits, thinking he was likely going to kick it that very night.

And so bright and early the next morning Lin Qiushi rushed to the hospital. After taking a look at his wound, the doctor said, with meaning, "you youngsters need to control yourselves."

Lin Qiushi, "…" Control what, control their diets?

The doctor said, "you don't need a vaccine, just a disinfection should be fine. As long as the person who bit you doesn't have any infectious diseases there shouldn't be any problems."

Lin Qiushi, "but the search engine said…"

The doctor slapped the table. "Can you all stop going to the search engine when you're sick? Don't you just feel more terminal the more you use it?" The doctor looked maybe thirty-one, thirty-two—still quite young. He prescribed Lin Qiushi some bit of medicine, and waved him off in disgust.

Lin Qiushi returned to the mansion.

After Qin Budai was taken away last night, Lin Qiushi didn't ask what would be done with him. Today, he was nowhere to be seen. Lin Qiushi didn't see Ruan Nanzhu either, and so went to ask Chen Fei in private.

Chen Fei looked at the wound on Lin Qiushi's neck, and sighed: "It was my fault, I shouldn't have left him on his own. I thought he'd at least be able to bear it, but who knew his self-control would be so awful?"

Lin Qiushi, "so where is he now?" The way Ruan Nanzhu dragged him off last night looked like he was being taken straight to the crematorium.

"He's been sent somewhere else," Chen Fei said. "There's a place dedicated to people like him. After being affected by the doors, the way he acts in reality will be off, so he needs counseling."

Whether or not the counseling would work was another story. But this sort of person was dangerous wherever they put him. Had Ruan Nanzhu not shown up last night, Qin Budai might have straight up bitten Lin Qiushi to death.

Lin Qiushi, "oh…" He thought for a bit, before asking quietly, "and Nanzhu? How come I haven't seen him around?"

Chen Fei, "I think he went out for an errand."

Then he asked, "is your wound alright though? He broke skin. Did you get it checked out at the hospital?"

Lin Qiushi thought that no skin would've been broken had Ruan Nanzhu not given him that extra bite. And he'd claimed it was disinfection, but his bite was way harsher—it was ridiculous. Not that Lin Qiushi said any of this out loud. He only shook his head to indicate he was alright, and that he'd already been to the hospital.

After that, Qin Budai disappeared from the mansion.

With great synchronicity, nobody asked where he'd gone. Even Cheng Qianli, who was least capable of reading people, didn't mention him again.

They all seemed already prepared for sudden goodbyes.

Only three days after the incident did Lin Qiushi see Ruan Nanzhu again. At that point his wound had scabbed over. He came in from walking Toast with Cheng Qianli, and saw Ruan Nanzhu sitting in the living room eating some fruit.

Hearing their footsteps, Ruan Nanzhu only glanced up, looking them over with a placid gaze.

"Ruan-ge, you're back," Cheng Qianli greeted happily.

"Mh," Ruan Nanzhu replied. Then he looked at Lin Qiushi.

For some reason, Lin Qiushi felt a bit self-conscious. He'd felt that Ruan Nanzhu had been off that night, and was still a bit strange today.

"It's healed?" Ruan Nanzhu spoke.

Lin Qiushi knew Ruan Nanzhu was asking after his wound, and nodded. "It's healed."

"Oh," Ruan Nanzhu said.

Maybe Lin Qiushi was overthinking it, but he thought he heard a hint of disappointment in Ruan Nanzhu's tone.

Lin Qiushi continued, "thank you for that night…" Had it not been for Ruan Nanzhu, he would likely be dead already.

Ruan Nanzhu, "don't worry about it."

Lin Qiushi hesitated. "Qin Budai, will he get better?"

Ruan Nanzhu slowly chewed the fruit in his mouth, swallowed, and then answered Lin Qiushi's question: "I don't know. He determines his own fortune."

Lin Qiushi, "things like this had happened before?"

Ruan Nanzhu, "like clockwork."

Lin Qiushi didn't think he'd get this sort of answer.

"Out of a hundred newbies, ninety-nine will develop mental conditions." Ruan Nanzhu stood. "The last one is Cheng Qianli."

Hearing this off to the side, Cheng Qianli looked confused, and asked, "what do you mean the last one is Cheng Qianli?"

Affectionately, Lin Qiushi petted Cheng Qianli's head. "Nothing, Ruan-ge's just complimenting you."

Cheng Qianli, "oh. Heheheh."

Lin Qiushi thought that to be on the same level of foolish as Cheng Qianli was actually not so easy…

"Prepare yourself," Ruan Nanzhu said. "Cheng Yixie's ninth door is opening soon."

Lin Qiushi's heart jolted. "I'm going too?"

Ruan Nanzhu, "you don't want to go?"

Lin Qiushi, "I… I don't know…"

But Ruan Nanzhu didn't force it, only spoke evenly, "it's fine if you don't want to. You have three days to think about it."

Lin Qiushi nodded in acceptance.

Once he'd said this, Ruan Nanzhu turned and left. Watching him go, Cheng Qianli said he didn't know why, but he felt that recently, the feeling Ruan-ge gave off was different than before.

Lin Qiushi asked, "what's different about it?" To tell the truth, after going through the Qin Budai incident, he realized he was too complacent in the real world. Had this been inside the doors, he'd have never let Qin Budai in.

"I don't know." Cheng Qianli scratched at his foolish head. "I can't really say…"

Lin Qiushi eyed Cheng Qianli, and for a moment fretted how the boy before him was supposed to pass through the rest of those doors. He could too easily imagine Cheng Yixie, with his heart completely broken with worry for his foolish younger brother.

Author's Note:

I'm taking advantage of the good weather today to wash my cat. Everybody wish blessings of peace upon me.

[Ch. 69] | [Ch. 71]

[poisonousroxstar]

Imagine:

Wally with a cheerful trainer s/o, who's dying from an illness

Trigger warning: dying reader, dead reader. Illness. Angst. Toxicly positive reader? Possible grammar mistakes.

Wally first met you on the day he was going to get his very first pokemon! To his surprise, you were here for the same thing! Norman was nice enough to lend you both a spare Pokémon and balls for you two!

He remembers how nerve-wracking but thrilling it was catching his ralts. When he did, you praised him! And gosh, he couldn't help but blush at your comment.

He invited you over to his parents house, and you both became quickly familiar with one another; becoming friends (and also rivals) very quickly!

Since both of your pokemon were relatively weak, the two of you decided to train together.

Eventually, you were confident that your Pokémon was ready to take on the first gym! Wally wasn't nearly as confident though, thus you two parted ways.

You told Wally you'd see him around! Giving him a gleeful smile that made his heart skip a beat. It appeared he had a small crush..

You guys wouldn't meet again until the second gym. Wally had moved to come stay with his uncle, and by then he had gotten a little stronger! When he saw you, Wally couldn't help but get a little giddy and blush ever so slightly.

After your guys' battle, his uncle invited you over to his home. He noticed how his nephew was behaving, and thought it might be good to bring over his crush!

You cheerfully accepted! And even wanted to race Wally there! Although, that didn't work out as his condition rendered running a bit.... Problematic. Soo, instead of that, you trailed alongside him and chatted about your adventures and experiences so far.

You sort of took a break on your journey to spend time with the lime haired boy. And he couldn't have been more thrilled!

At first, you two trained together. Being on break didn't mean you couldn't get some experience in!

Eventually, you two started doing everything together. Hanging out and enjoying the beautiful area, especially the flowers. Fooling around, even if Wally sometimes protested against your ideas. And lazing together during uneventful days.

It was on one of those days you asked about his condition, and what it was that forced him to move to his uncles.

Wally paused for a moment, before replying with an answer. He thought that by becoming a trainer, he could become stronger, both as a person and with his illness.

His answer made you admire him, and you felt like you owed him something in return. So, with your cheerful tone that made beautiflies flutter in his tummy, you said:

"well... I'm technically dying!"

Wally gave you a shocked expression, and almost thought you were joking because of your tone.

But it wasn't a joke, unfortunately. You told him you had an illness that was slowly killing. You became a trainer as a way to see the entire region before your death, and take on the gyms in an attempt to become the champion of hoenn!

Wally stayed with a shocked expression "s/o... I'm so sorry..". You hushed him, saying that you weren't afraid of it, or sad. Maybe you were a long time ago but now? You were fine!

To lighten the mood, you reassured him that everything was ok. Wally was awed at how much you accepted your fate. He understood, since he had his own issues as well, but to know you were dying and still be happy? He doesn't think even he could be as jolly.

You brightened up the somber atmosphere with optimism, stating that you were here, and ready to make the most out of everything!

Wally couldn't help his racing heart when you smiled. Your cheerfulness and determination made him feel so warm and fuzzy inside. It was more then obvious he had a massive crush on you, and in a way, you returned those feelings as well.

Once that was clear cut, you decided to ask him out! Gosh, he was a blushing mess when you did, stuttering over his words and behaving more meek then normal. But... He accepted, a small smile on his lips.

The date was simple, but very cute. You two were strolling together around both Verdanturf town and Mauville city. The old couple of the daycare even let you both help tend with some of the pokemon. Although Wally was a bit hesitant, the pokemon cooed to his gentleness and calm nature. It was truly a precious moment!

It didn't take much time for you two to become a thing! Although yous never said it directly, it was clear as day you two were helplessly in love with each other.

It was also around this time you and Wally decided to resume your pokemon journey. Wally suggested you two stick together for the remainder of it, and you found the idea cute, so you two did!

But the plan didn't last too long.. halfway through your two's adventure, you began to cough. You often didn't think much of it, since it was something that happened a lot for you. Given your conditions and... everything.

But once you looked down at your hand, you noticed it was stained with.... Blood? You had coughed out blood, some of it coming out in small clumps.

This hadn't happened before, and you were actually... Very scared. Perhaps because it reminded you of your morality.. or because of Wally.

You couldn't let him see you like this. What would happen? How would he react? The last thing you wanted was to suspend his own adventure just because of you.

Wally noticed how quiet you got after your coughing fit, and asked if something was wrong. You hid away your bloody hand and hastily wiped any remaining traces of blood on your mouth, turning to him with your smile that always tug on his heartstrings "Yep! I'm fine! Just..."

You had to find an excuse. A way so Wally wouldn't suspect something. So, in a slightly sudden voice, you told Wally it was time to part ways.

At first, he interpreted it as you breaking up with him, which left him confused and very hurt; but when you explained it was just because you wanted to get the next gym badge, he sighed in relief you weren't ending the relationship. Although he was still puzzled by why you wanted to go on your own and a part of him didn't want you to leave. Something didn't feel right.

But you reassured him you'd see him again! And told him you two could still keep in contact through the phone! Although he still felt like something was... off... Wally just chopped it up to him being paranoid, and maybe even a little bit possessive? He wasn't sure, relationships were such a new concept to him.

With that and a peck on the cheek, you took off! And Wally waved you goodbye.

Wally then decided, he needed to get stronger! He hoped that the next time you two saw each other, you'd be impressed with how much he improved as a trainer and as a person, who wasn't bound to his illness.

Illness.. that's right, you were also sick, but much worse. Honestly, you were so good at hiding and quickly recovering from the symptoms, Wally almost forgot you were dying..

His chest ached at the thought of you dying. One of his fears was you dying before he could even talk with you again. His heart held so much love for you, and Wally wished that somehow he could take away your pain...

But your numbered days served as motivation. He wanted to get stronger, for you. He wanted to show you how far he came, and how far you've come!

Wally believed in you as well. He found you admirable for your optimism. He thought you could do anything! And that, even if you were dying, you'd survive, and make it.

Wishful thinking, I suppose.

But as Wally got stronger, you only grew weaker. The doctors you had visited said your condition had suddenly worsen out of the blue.

They said, at best, they could give you a few extra weeks of life. Maybe a month or 3, but you'd be heavily restricted. At that point, you'd be stuck to a hospital bed; your journey finishing right then and there.

So, you went against what they said. You held onto hope that, at the very least, you'd be able to collect all the gym badges.

Your calls with Wally became a bit more frequent, which he didn't reject to. Actually, he was really, really happy to hear you! Sometimes he'd get scared that something awful happened to you, so hearing your voice helped calm him.

You avoided telling him the truth though, instead asking about him, his Pokemon, and how far he is. Wally answered every question you had, becoming especially bright regarding his trainer status. You could hear the light and excitement irradiating from his voice, which made you smile.

When he asked about yours, you put on a cheery voice as you often did. Telling him everything was grand! You'd gotten a lot stronger, and had managed to collect another gym badge!

He congratulated you, saying how awesome you were! He asked if, when you two met again, you'd be willing to battle him.

You paused for a moment, not sure how to reply. You didn't want him to see you, not in your slowly deteriorating state. But at the same time you missed him. You wanted to see him again, physically. So, with an unheard reluctance, you agreed to the brawl!

Wally was concerned. You had never sounded so meek before. Never sounded so resistant to see him. He wondered if he did something wrong? If he displeased you someway. He tried not to let it get to his head, but the thought did irk him.

..when Wally finally saw you, he noticed how different you looked. Wally wasn't oblivious, but he didn't know how to bring it up. So, for the time being, you guys caught up! You told Wally how far you've gotten so far, and showed off your collection of badges! You also showed him your Pokemon, how strong they had gotten.

But Wally kept quiet, or replied only in short sentences. You notice his concern expression intensify upon bringing your Pokemon out. Their faces showed hints of sadness.

Finally, Wally asked if you were ok. Your quick reply more or less confirmed you weren't, despite your response portraying the contrary.

He took your hand into his and told you softly that, it's ok if you don't want to tell him. He just wants to make sure you're fine. His skin was so soft you had just noticed, and his delicate hold brought you comfort.

So, with hesitance, you finally told him what was happening. You told him how your illness had advanced, how limited your time was, what they adviced and why you went against it.

Wally looked at you with shock and sadness, but he tried not to overreact. Instead, he held you.

You brushed off his concern, and challenged him to a battle! Wally was stunned by how quickly you tried shifting the topic, and he declined at first. But you reminded him of the ole' trainer rule:

If two trainers lock eyes with one another, it is mandatory they begin a battle!

You wanted to distract yourself and him. You didn't want your illness to be a burden. At the very least you wanted to enjoy the time you had with him instead of focusing solely on you.

When the battle concluded, as if on cue, you coughed out. Wally could tell you were in pain, even if you tried playing it off as if you weren't. He quickly came to you, asking what was wrong and if he needed to call the hospital!

You weakly say it's fine, but Wally rebuked in an attempt to bring you back to reality. It was obvious you weren't 'fine', and he tried to convince you to go see a doctor; at the very least they could offer you some sort of pain reliever!

What was only worry for your well-being evolved into an argument. Even if you put on a happy face and chipper persona, you were suppressing a lot of emotions, and Wally was the unfortunate 'pin to the balloon'.

You let everything pour out, such poisonous words being thrown at him. Wally was stunned into silence by you, only able to endure your verbal assault. Your toxicity would of likely continued if another coughing fit hadn't taken over.

But this time, you weren't able to hide the pain. Your coughs rapidly grew worse, and the ache became too much to the point where your legs buckled in.

Wally panicked when he saw you dropping, but was able to keep calm enough to call the ambulance. He tried to help you as much as he could, but he didn't know what to do. Even you didn't.

When help finally arrived you had completely knocked out, a sickening pool of dark crimson pouring from your mouth that had convinced Wally for a moment that you were gone.

You were rushed to the nearest hospital. Wally wanted to come along with you, but the doctors refused and didn't take the precious time to hear his pleas.

..for the next few days, all Wally could think about was you. His journey had reached another stop, and he tried to stay at the hospital for as long as he could.

The only people he seemed to interact with was his gardivour, his uncle, and his parents. Other then that he had turned completely mute.

He felt guilty, as if this was his fault. The last thing you'd remember if you didn't make it was the two of you getting into an argument. Maybe if he hadn't been so pushy, you wouldn't of had a fit and be here.

He knew it was dumb to think like that, but he couldn't help it.

Sometimes, he'd visit your Pokemon who had been transported to a daycare in the hospital. They seemed just as scared as Wally was, but he knew fearing wouldn't do anything; it wasn't what you wanted either.

So, he tried to be positive. He thought you'd be able to pull through. You were one of the strongest people he knew!

You couldn't die yet, not when you hadn't even completed the gym challenges!

His optimism brought hope to your Pokemon, and to him as well! But Wally was split if he truly believed in what he just preached.

And every day that passed. Every hour you remained in your bed, motionless minus your chest pumping up and down from a machine you were hooked up with.

That hope grew dimmer and dimmer.

Sometimes he'd talk to you, gently rubbing your hand. Your guardian(s) allowed him to be near you, which he couldn't be more thankful for.

He'd tell you about his day, how boring the hospital was. He wondered if you could hear him? He hoped you could.

Wally missed you. He missed you so, so much. He missed seeing you walking around, he missed hearing your voice; he just wanted you.

Wally tried to pull himself together. He didn't want to seem weak in front of you, not when you needed the utmost attention right now. But he couldn't control himself for long.

Wally's gentle whimpers grew into uncontrollable crying. He was pleading to you, pleading to anyone, begging anyone to just---not take you away.

"P-please, S/O... I can't lose you. I...I love you!"

He wanted his words to reach you somehow, so that maybe... Maybe you would wake up.

But no amount of love laced words could pull you from your eternal slumber.

Your heart monitor began dropping. The beating of the machine inducing an intense anxiety into Wally. He cried out for help, and the doctors and nurses flooded the room like water.

Wally was pushed outside the room and force to watch as the medical team desperately tried to revive you. He felt his heart drop to the pit of his stomach when every attempt resulted in nothing. No response, nothing.

The doctor came up to Wally, a sad expression on his face. The world went silent. He was muttering out words, lips moving, but Wally couldn't hear anything.

He didn't need to. He knew.

And he just breaks..

He's crying, perhaps even hyperventilating as the doctors attempted to calm him down. Wally knew you were gone. He thought he would be prepared for it, but the impact was too much for him to handle.

He cries, he cries a lot.

And then your funeral comes, but there aren't any tears. Not because he isn't sad, but because he can't squeeze anymore out. He just looks at your coffin in melancholy.

For awhile, Wally doesn't leave his house. When he returned to his parents, he is was nearly mute, and only stayed inside. All that progress had regressed, and he was back to his old self.

Wally wanted to care for your Pokemon himself, but he just wasn't in a good place. He couldn't even care for his own Pokemon, but they understood; your death affected them as well.

With some outside help from his family and his/your Pokemon, Wally slowly got better. Slow, but better.

It was painful for him, but he had to accept keeping you in memory while moving on.

He likes to think you'd want him to go forward, complete his journey. And he came up with a motivator; he couldn't be doing it for himself now, but for the both of you.

He'd do this. For you, and for himself.

He'll get stronger. He'll get braver. Because that's what you may of wanted from him.

Wally would never love someone as much as he did you. You mean the world to him. If only you two had more time together.

Wally will always miss you. The pain will lessen, perhaps even some of his feelings. But his love for you will mostly remain intact.

Wally would visit your grave frequently. But as time went on, the visits became less frequent. Still, he always brought your favourite gifts and most times your Pokemon came along with him.

He'll never forget you. Never.

This lovely artist is the person, I believe, made the drawing! I didn't ask for permission however, so if they ask me to remove the art, I shall!

[ohallthecrushes]

Tears

A/N: This one is clearly written to comfort myself, because I feel like Y/N. If any of you find it relatable then let me tell you, you deserve to feel better.

Summary: It's a comfort writing. Arthur's love and compassion for you. You at first pretend to be fine and try to distance yourself from him, but Arthur's love and concern catches you eventually in a long warm hug.

Warnings: depression, angst, sadness and tears

Word counts: 1340

You hadn't been feeling good lately... Nay, you hadn't been feeling even relatively fine. You were sad and melancholic, not for any reasonable reason. And it wasn't a little sadness you could feel from time to time, you were doleful, sad to the point you couldn't even hide it. And it affected you in the most painful ways. You needed to spend an extra energy to get out of bed everyday or get into the shower, you couldn't find any joy in your hobbies and time spent with Arthur was... ok, but he couldn't keep you away from the feelings you kept deep inside you. You were on the edge of crying. Constantly.

At first, you blamed the weather that was all grey and rainy and even Arthur admitted, it made him feel sentimental and all. But the weather had passed, the sun was shining again, and you still didn't feel any better. So the next thing to blame on was your period that always messed with your mood. But those days also passed and there was nothing, nothing significant that you could blame on for your sadness. That gloomy realization made you cry in the middle of the night.

Arthur was watching you all the time, since the first day he'd noticed you hadn't been like yourself. He started observing you days before you even realized that he was observing you. Which kind of proved him that something was going on with you. He was deeply concerned with your low mood, he was trying to figure out what made you feel this way while trying to find a way to lighten your mood. He was so concerned about you that he started to pick you from work as often as he could and he was near you almost all the time in case you needed him or wanted to talk. He made you your favorite dishes and often reminded you to eat when you didn't want to eat all day. Not only that, but he even surprised you with small gifts like a scented candle or a funny keychain or a beautiful plant.

All of this made your lips curled up a bit, but it wasn't a proper smile Arthur hoped for. It looked forced and that was even worse than the sad face you made.

You tried to tell him that you were alright, that you felt good enough to go to work and study and do home chores, but he could see just the opposite. You could barely get up from bed and you seemed already exhausted before you went to work.

It hurt him seeing you suffering like that.

But you believed that telling him how terrible you felt would hurt him more and you didn't want to put on his shoulder all that sadness you felt and all that crying tears you held back when he was around. You didn't want to be a burden to him.

But Arthur was sure that if you were just honest with him, it would only help you, and your relationship would be still fine. You just needed to open up to him so he could help you. That was what he believed.

Aften another day when you spent most of the time just staring blankly at the tv and then you went to your bedroom without him, he decided to have a talk with you. A real talk.

Next day when you both had a free day, he sat next to you, turned the tv off and took your hand.

- Y/N? Can we talk?

You nodded, feeling like you already knew what this was going to be about.

- I've noticed you've been feeling low lately, very sad and not like your usually self - he was looking at you, trying to keep eye contact with you - Everytime I asked you what was wrong you said nothing or just found an excuse for what was really going on inside you.

You lowered your head, feeling tears coming to your eyes.

- I want to help you, love - he put his hand on top of yours and knitting his brows in concern - You don't have to be alone with this...

You couldn't keep it inside anymore and the tears just rolled down your face.

- Please, let me... - he said softly.

You looked at him with the vision blurry from tears and you shook your head.

- I d-don't want to be... a b-burden for... you - you mumbled with words too heavy to speak out - I... I just...

He was caressing your hand with his thumb as the other went to your face rubbing some tears off.

- You're not a burden to me, you never will be.

- But... But I can't even... - you choked on your words - I can't even function normally anymore. I just want to cry all the time. All. The. Time, Arthur - you looked at him and he looked back at you with compassion, but for a moment you doubted he knew what you were feeling - You don't know how hard it is to keep it all in, to stop yourself from crying. At work, at bus, at home, anywhere.

- Sweety... - Arthur said as he stroked your face, his hand covered your cheek - I know. I have my laughing condition, remember?

You nodded and looked down.

- I'm sorry.

- Don't be. I know that it's hard to feel like that when you can't control yourself and you have to keep pretending that you're fine when you just feel awful. And I know you feel like you're all alone with that, but I'm here for you, Y/N. I'm here.

As if to prove his words, he slowly pulled you closer to himself and wrapped his arms around you. You welcomed his hug for a moment, resting your head on his shoulder, but you pulled away to say something important to him.

- It's more than tears, Arthur... more than just sadness, it's more... I...

- I understand - he nodded - I can recognize depression when I see it.

- And you really... You're ok with that?

- Ok?

- I mean... - you sighed - You're saying I'm not a burden to you, but... Don't you want me not to be sad all the time? Don't you prefer the old smiling me more?

- Of course I do - he chuckles slightly as he realized what you meant - But not because your sadness and depression are inconvenient to me, but because you deserve to feel good and to be happy and it hurts me when I see you being anything but. I miss my darling Y/N who's smile always makes my day, but this - he pointed at your tears - this is also you. And I love you for being you, for good or bad... for-

You didn't let him finish. Your arms wrapped around him and you hid your face in the nook of his neck.

Tears were falling down your face, soaked into his white shirt. He caressed your back and placed his other hand on the back of your head. His voice whispered comforting words and you clung to his chest even more, crying until all your tears ran out.

- Want to go to bed? - he whispered softly as he handed you a tissue.

You nodded.

He carried you to bed and placed your tired body on your side. He crawled next to you and you both shifted to face each other.

- My head hurts a little - you said.

- Close your eyes, darling - he replied as he brought you closer to him - you need a rest. When you wake up your head won't be hurting anymore.

- What... What next? - you asked as you closed your eyes.

- I'll call your boss telling him you're taking sick days and we get you some help. You'll be fine again, I promise you, my love.

You hid yourself in his arms and kept his promise in your head while falling asleep. You knew now that it was going to be alright, because the first time in weeks you didn't want to cry.

[just-like-playing-tag]

A Letter from Norman reactions

Tonight I was feeling like reorganizing the notes I took after reading the novel for the first time. Just some random personal reactions I had after reading it; if anything catches your attention and you'd like to know more about a particular event from the novel, please feel free to ask and I'll be happy to help!!!

Under the cut because it's l o n g. That is, if Tumblr allows me to add a "read more", which has never happened before, but I'll keep hoping in it.

• Disclaimer: I'm suing anyone who ever said that the novel is all about NorEmma. I've literally put off reading it because I didn't want to get into something overly romantic while there's??? Nearly nothing about it that is romantic??????? Just a slight mention in that last chapter and that's it???????? Why are y'all like this

Prologue

• I need you all to know that the important letter™ through which Norman informed Emma about his plan starts with him describing the weather. I just think it's a relevant information.

• Ok I'm at freaking page 1 of “A letter from Norman” and. NORMAN IT'S A FREAKING LETTER TO EMMA NOT A SHAKESPEAREAN PLAY THERE'S LITERALLY NO REASON TO BE THIS POETIC

Maybe, I would get it if it was directed to Ray, but to Emma?????

Chapter 1

• Emma in 2038: Let's befriend ghosts

Emma in 2047: let's befriend demons

Seems like a logic consecution to me

• Ok but why has nobody ever mentioned the extremely precious Emma / Gilda moments in the novel???? My heart was completely melting that was the most adorable thing I've ever read??????

• The way Norman is constantly in awe of Ray is so adorable... Baby is so sweet I swear, he deserves the world

Chapter 2

• OK BUT THE SWEET EXCHANGE between Ray and Isabella before him and Emma go out at night?????? Ray is so pure is swear... He's a precious baby who didn't deserve all the shit he went through.

Reporting it in case anyone's curious; for context, Norman is sick, and Emma wants to go out look for a flower that she's read is going to help him feel better. Emma and Ray are convinced that Norman is going to die because babies are just that dramatic, and easily impressionable as well. They're seven here.

“ «Ray, I'm counting on you!»

Isabella pressed an hand on the boy's shoulder, who turned his face to her and diligently nodded, before continuing: «Differently from Emma, I don't think the flower is going to help Norman heal».

«What do you mean?»

«However, it's better than having to sit back and watch without doing anything. I too, like her, want him to heal as soon as possible.»

«Sure, I understand...» ”

NOW that hits so hard. You have to understand, this is after Ray had made the deal with Isabella. He had already started to plan the escape. In this occasion, he was on a very thin line: alone at night with Emma, outside the House, a child who knew the truth. Isabella knew those were the right conditions for him to attempt an escape, so she decided to test his loyalty; one misstep, and their deal - which was fundamental for the escape Ray was planning - would have ended.

But at the same time, Ray needed to go. Because, just like Emma, he just couldn't stand to lose Norman. And to see these three children caring so deeply about each other even at such a young age makes me honestly bawl. This is quite certainly my favorite thing from this series. And Ray deserves the world.

• Ray was so determined to save his two friends, he even considered for a moment, in the woods, to tell Emma the truth about the orphanage. I find it very nice how the novel hinted of all these times Ray almost revealed the truth, it really puts emphasis on how he was trying to find the best moment for the escape- but it also hints to how desperate he was to share this grievous burden he was forced to carry for the longest time.

• “ Ray, you must keep on living, Norman whispered to himself like a prayer. ”

I'm... I'M 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Doesn't help the fact that this bit was literally at the end of pages of Norman praising Ray and how brave he had been for so long.

• “ Nobody in the House would have wanted for Ray to pay with his life to amend the silence of all those years. ”

I love this bit. Nobody between the children ever hated Ray for speechlessly assisting to dozens of his siblings being lead to death, because they all immediately understood how much he was suffering, how powerless he must had felt, and also, even though it only led to him being even more hurt, how deeply he loved them all. It's really nice to realize that no children ever hated Ray- no one besides from himself. His siblings love him unconditionally, and that's precisely what he deserves 🤧🤧💕💕💕

• Norman: *adventures in a detailed description of Ray's features and gestures for no other apparent reason than the fact that he finds him pretty*

Chapter 3

• Ok I know people use to see Ray and Susan's interactions under the light of Ray having a crush on her but honestly? I think they make the cutest brotp. I never knew how much I needed Ray-having-an-older-sister content untill now.

• For real though!! What hits you really hard is to find out, even though he would had never ever showed it, how desperate he was to have somebody care about him, and to be loved. He literally grieves for losing someone that looks after him and is there to check on him in his lowest days- we know it's the thing Isabella never gave him. Man, this boy didn't deserve all the shit that happened to him. Tpn may have become an old known story for me, but Ray's sufferings in his early age will never stop tearing my heart apart.

• Ok, I wasn't ready for all this angst on Ray's part. I mean, I obviously know GF were hard times for him, but I didn't expect for him to take over the pov. Sis, how wrong I was. Now I'm crying.

• Coming to the realization that Ray's initial plan actually was to bring everyone in the escape, but he clearly had to give up on it after having realized it would have been impossible to save them 🥺🥺🥺

(I mean it was not impossible. He believed it was. But it wasn't.)

• Ok but. The last part of the Ner chapter. I really don't want to spoil it for anyone because it really was a beautiful chapter but I really need to say: Emma and Norman. The way it wasn't just Ray always being there for them, protecting them from afar; no matter their blissful ignorance, they have always been there for him too. They never abandoned that lonely boy, and they made it so that he could have a last reason not to give up. A single, dim light of hope in that pitch black, devastating world he was born in. I may or may not be crying my eyes out.

(Btw I had written this before the Ray special chapter came out, and it's kinda funny to look back at it now)

• The thing with the Ner chapter is: you enter in it after reading two chapters of normal, wholesome children's stories. There's a dark undertune in it, but it's very subtle and it doesn't interfere with the happy, cheerful atmosphere of these children facing adventures together with each other. But then the Ner chapter strikes, and the Ray pov arrives, and it's like being beaten with a bat in the stomach several times. Deep down, you had always known it; but you suddenly realize that all these children are going to die. And, even worse, there's one child who knows. There's one child who has to assist to everything powerlessly. There's one child, one freaking-nine-years-old who knows that all his siblings are going to die, and there's nothing he can do. That a single mistake could ruin the chances of making just two of his siblings survive, which is everything he's hanging to right now. One child who only needs to be loved. Well that... That hits hard.

Me expressing my thoughts: girl this form is shit you can't write something that is understandable to save your life can you

• Also can we please appreciate Norman taking so long to get out of the forest as it's a recurrent characterizzation of his character to be desperately willing to live just *French chef kiss*

• I really like how the novel underlined how Norman's choice of sacrificing himself corresponded to a betrayal toward his friends (when you think about it, Emma definitely felt betrayed). It's almost like in his last moments Norman chose to switch roles with Ray, taking on his shoulders the burden of being both the traitor and the sacrifice.

Chapter 4

• Norman: * “ He instinctively closed his eyes and abandoned himself to the sweet memory of that time he understood how deeply loved he was. ” *

Somewhere, Ray: Can't relate

• Emma: Norman, what you want to do when you grow up?

Norman: It's a secret.

Me:

• “ Ray woke up before everyone, as usual. ”

A remarkable detail. You'd think Ray, as a good depressed person as he is, would sleep more than the average. The truth is: he doesn't sleep at all.

• Norman: There's... Another person I like

Me:

• OK NOW WHY did none tell me about the nine (9) lines of Norman / Don interacting it was worth reading the novel solely for that.

• WHY DID NONE TELL ME ABOUT DON ALMOST STRANGLING NORMAN AND MAKING HIM LITERALLY PASS AWAY IT WAS TOTALLY WORTH READING THE NOVEL SOLELY FOR THAT

• Reading about Conny being there hurts a lot but reading about Sadie and Hao brings up a totally different kind of pain. Also who the hell is Cindy?

• Norman: Oh yes, Emma and Ray, my most dear friends, my closest siblings, the reason I wake up in the morning, my only reason to live, the ones I'd entrust my life with,

Also Norman: Dunnot in the last thirteen hours and six minutes they have been acting pretty sus, I'm kinda sure they're betraying me somehow ://

• “ «I agree, but it feels like you've fallen down a rabbit hole. You're restless, you constantly look off...» said the raven haired boy, distorting his mouth in an hardly intelligible grimace and giving his friend a meaningful look.

«Norman, about that mysterious girl...»

«No, you're mistaken! I...»

Norman, filled with frustration, raised up his voice, starting to lose the coolness that was usually characteristic of him.

«But I haven't said anything yet!»

That being said Ray, with slightly mocking doing, turned on his feet and went away, leaving Norman like that. ”

I LOVE THIS BIT SO INEXPLICABLY MUCH I'm always *so* in for Oreo finishing each other sentences / reading each other's thoughts. Here, Norman answered Ray's question before he could even expose it, because he already knew what it would have been. Equally, Ray knew what Norman was going to say even though he cut his answer halfway through.

I love how much on the same page they are, they really... Totally and fully understand each other even without words, and I find it so sweet. Seriously, their dynamic is so wholesome

• Norman's last birthday gift: the thing that matters the most to him: his family's happiness

Emma's reward: the thing that matters the most to her: her family's happiness

Some things hit harder than others.

• I don't know like. When you read the novel after the series has ended, everything hurts so much more, because you know these are all memories Emma has lost forever.

• So you made colorful clothing by "coloring old clothes"? Have fun realizing y'all have celebrated Norman's birthday wearing your dead siblings' clothes

Bonus this epic note I randomly took I completely forgot the context of:

• Isabella is a bitch. I don't give a fuck about your dramatic past woman, leave that boy alone

(When the protect Ray mood hits™)

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

[ cw unreality / childhood trama? ] hey can i ask for some resources or adivce on something, my parents when i was younger used to taunt me about my weight and made jokes about me and how they couldn't full wrap their hand around my wrist. they fucked up my self esteem by saying my best chance at college was community college and wouldn't disagree with my sisters saying they should've stopped at two (im the youngest of three), i got blamed for having the most attention but i never really got it? and they would always yell at me if i couldn't understand something immediately and would disregard alot of asks to get medical treatment for stuff. i tried telling them before but they always disregarded it and said they never did it and now i feel like im losing sense of my childhood in a way bc i can't remember if my stories are fake or real. it's also been screwing with my memory recently because i can't remember alot of details sometimes or information, and no matter how hard i try it won't fully lodge in my brain. i want to find an way even if i can't get professionally get closure on my mental health, to be able to put a label on what my emotions are so i could feasibly find resources or anything that could help me stay solid on the ground. thoughts?

Hey anon,

I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's an awful situation to be in, and you truly deserve better. I'm so, so sorry you aren't getting it.

From what you've described, it sounds like your parents are emotionally abusing you. They've belittled you for your weight and destroyed your self-esteem in multiple ways--if what they were doing was from a peer it would likely classify as bullying, and that's traumatic and incredibly hard to deal with. On top of that, they're denying what they've done and are gaslighting you, which is likely why you're questioning your perception of your childhood.

If they're still gaslighting you, it may be helpful to keep a tangible list of the things they do to you, so you know it's real if you question it later. It's horrible when this is your only way to know what really happened and what you've been conditioned to believe didn't, but it really does help.

Your brain stores memories differently when you're in a traumatic environment--short-term memories, especially those related to your trauma, just don't get transferred to long-term memory, and you completely forget them. I can't remember the vast majority of my childhood until my dad moved out for this reason, including the abusive things he would do--I only know details from what my mother's told me. It's a surreal feeling, and it's very frustrating and confusing. It's really hard to deal with, but it's entirely possible that it's why you're having a hard time remembering things, and I'm so sorry.

I really hope this helps you understand what you're going through, anon. If you need any more help, please feel free to reach out to us, and we'll do our best to help you. None of this is your fault, and you truly deserve better. I'm so sorry for what you're going through.

Stay safe,

Mod Henrie

[scripttorture]

Hello fellow Doctor Who fan. You've made it very clear that no one can be brainwashed or conditioned into following orders and being a killer. But this is exactly what was done to River Song. Was the entire storyline nonsense and poorly done? Or is the fact she got out of it means it didn't work? Maybe what sort of fixes would need to happen to as to not completely change the entire character? I am not asking for any particular story, but upbringing certainly shapes a character.

I’m going to start this off by saying that I’m not here to tell people what they should or shouldn’t like. There is nothing wrong with liking or not liking a character, story arc, plot etc. A lot of the pieces I’ve given low scores in the Torture in Fiction series are things I like and several of the things I’ve given high scores are things I don’t like.

 What I’m trying to encourage is critical thinking and a greater level of understanding for the reality of torture.

 So whatever I say about River Song, or any other fictional character, is just an opinion. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying something that has flaws and the flaws in something do not mean it has no worth. Plenty of stories handle torture badly but handle other difficult topics excellently.

 The Torture in Fiction series is just about trying to get authors and audiences to think about how the media they love treats torture.

 Now I’ve said all that, it’s been a while since I watched all of River’s episodes. I’m going from memory here and those memories may be wrong.

 I don’t think we actually see enough of River’s childhood to say whether this is supposed to be the kind of brainwashing tropes I rail against or coercion.

 There are a lot of deliberate gaps in River’s story. I think that’s a good thing because it helps give a sense that this is a character who does a lot of things away from the other characters. She has her own adventures.

 But it also means that the writers are relying on the audience to fill things in.

 She’s taken from her parents as a baby and raised to kill the Doctor.

 Now that, in and of itself, does not necessarily suggest a brainwashing plot. Plenty of people in the real world are raised in isolated communities with the consistent message that they need to do or achieve something their parental figures decide for them.

 We see organised attempts on the Doctor’s life by River and the group who raised her. But I don’t remember seeing anything from River’s life with this group beyond the moment when she’s taken as a newborn.

 And that’s really the crux of the question: what were the details of her training and her childhood?

 I don’t think we can accuse writers of torture apologia on the basis of something they never actually wrote. I also don’t think it’s good practice to leave such a glaring gap in this particular case. There are narratives where leaving this kind of gap means you should expect that a portion of the audience will fill in the gap with torture apologia. Because those are the tropes they’re used to.

 From your perspective though, that gap means there isn’t necessarily much to ‘fix’. You can just decide to fill in the gap in with something that isn’t the standard ‘fanon’. Treating this as if River is raised by a cult (which arguably she is) and isn’t physically abused could work.

 An upbringing by manipulative individuals could explain what we see of River’s behaviour; her obsession with the Doctor and her attempts early in her life to kill him.

 There isn’t any guaranteed way to ‘make’ a person change their mind or think the way you want them too. But the key word there is ‘guaranteed’, manipulative and emotionally abusive tactics can effect someone’s beliefs, especially when the character in question is a child.

 The people who raise River keep her isolated from the rest of the world, they control the information she has access to early on and they have the ability to use emotional responses and repetition to hammer their message home.

 We know that from an early age River was taught an insane amount about the Doctor. He was made the focus of her upbringing. It’s not a stretch to imagine that she was praised and rewarded for remembering things about him, focusing on him or deducing/predicting his actions. In those circumstances her life long obsession doesn’t look that strange.

 When we’re taught that something is that important, that central, consistently from a young age- Then yes for a lot of people it does become a central part of their lives. It’s bizarre that the focus is a person but if the focus had been a religious group or a political organisation it probably wouldn’t look quite as weird.

 River’s also taught that the Doctor needs to die. I don’t think it’s much of a stretch to imagine that she’s taught she’s special and loved because she can kill him.

 And I suppose we can argue that the people who take River and raise her are successful to some degree since River tries to kill him.

 That’s more likely if River herself cares for the people who raised her and sees them as good parents. Physical abuse gets in the way of that.

 And if I was writing River’s backstory that’s how I’d do it. I’d write her as isolated from the world outside the organisation and showered with love and praise because she’s going to kill the Doctor.

 I’d create an environment where this child is taught that her worth and whether others love her is dependant on her performing this task.

 Since River eventually leaves I’d probably also include punishments for questioning her teachers or going against what the organisation is trying to instil. These wouldn’t be physical punishments but things like trying to humiliate her, no play time or just having a trusted parental figure sit with her for hours going over how she’s wrong.

 That kind of upbringing is likely to result in a child that’s willing to do all kinds of awful things. Because they’ve been taught it’s right and because they believe it’s the only way to ensure they’re loved.

 It’s about trying to please the people they care about most in the world. And about those people callously using that love and affection to achieve their own aims.

 There’s an ask here that you might find helpful. Looking through the tags for ‘cults’, ‘leaving cults’ and ‘child soldier’s’ will probably also be useful. I know there’s an old ask on how to write the ‘children raised to be assassins’ premise but I can’t find it at the moment.

 I hope that helps. :)

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Disclaimer

[iredreamer]

I love and adore your scene breakdowns (discovering your blog has cleared my skin, watered my crops and brought peace to the valley- would you ever want to do one for the bit where Ann is hallucinating while her friend and Anne are staying at Crow Nest? And also do you know how much of that is true to life? Like, did Ann actually say that their relationship was repungnant, did she actually think about gay men being hanged? No demand though ofc and apologies if you've talked about this already.

hey :) thank you so much you’re too sweet

And now, first I’m gonna answer your questions about the real Ann Walker and then I’m gonna do the scene breakdown.

I’ve not read of Ann saying she thought their relationship was “repugnant”, I don’t know if she ever used that word (I don’t think she ever did but I could be wrong). Till now I’ve not came across it while reading the journals. Anyway, the situation was far more complex in reality. In Ann Walker’s life, sex, love and death had always been linked in some very tragic and unfortunate way (all her family basically died, one of her past “lovers” died, Mrs Ainsworth died and she, AW, committed adultery with Mr Ainsworth). She thought that all the death that surrounded her was somehow her fault. After the Ainsworth thing she starts developing a fixation on her sins. She writes to Anne: “It is not only death in this world, but a far worse death that I fear. If ever the prayers of a so true friend may ever avail for another, may yours be heard for me this night, that the gate of Mercy may not be forever closed upon me, for I am wretchedness itself”. Basically when her friend, Mrs Ainsworth, dies, Ann is reminded of her “thing” with Reverend Ainsworth and that’s what really breaks her, she feels guilty and ashamed. This leads to Ann Walker reconsidering her relationship with Anne Lister and asking herself how it would appear in the eyes of God. And this is when she starts to think that her “connection” with Anne is wrong and a sin.

In real life Ann’s condition was even worse than what we see in the series. From the companion book: “Fearing that she was approaching death, Ann begged Anne to read extracts from the bible aloud. Anne selected and ‘paraphrased the 10th of Matthew’, but it seemed that Ann was unable to be reached by its message of resilience and healing. Instead she preferred to cast herself as the subject of ‘Genesis Epistle, St James 1.6′, whose lack of absolute faith in the Lord’s ability to heal destined them to be cast adrift, ‘driven and tossed by the wind, like a wave in the sea’”. Their views on religion and faith were very very different. Anne Lister had reconciled her sexuality and her faith perfectly and she thought that if God made her like that, then there was nothing wrong with her. Ann Walker basically thought the opposite. The only one that could make AW feel a little bit better was AL. By January 1833 Anne Lister slept at Lidgate regularly.

“Did she actually think about gay men being hanged?”: November 27, 1832 > She [Ann Walker] had doubted whether it was right to engage herself to me if this sort of thing was so bad between two men it must be so …. I answered this in my usual way it was my natural & undeviating feeling etc. etc. but said I the moral responsibility is already incurred. She seemed better satisfied & asked me to go on Thursday – she is going tomorrow saying she would not let Mss P- [Miss Parkhill] go to Pye Nest & Mrs Dysons by herself for fear evidently of her gossip about us. [SH:7/ML/E/15/0155]. This is the only bit I came across where the Ann(e)s discuss male homosexuality.

In GJ all this happens in just one/two episode/s but in reality this thing went on for months. Ainsworth writes to AW for the first time on the 1st of November 1832 and he keeps writing for quite some time. AW’s health keeps getting worse and worse month after month till she basically has a mental breakdown and goes to live with her sister in Scotland in February 1833.

Now, going back to the fictional Ann(e)s, about that scene…the first thing I wanna say is that I love how Anne Lister reacts to it all. You can see how her attitude changes as the scene progresses and she understands that what Ann’s going through is really bad, worse than what she thought. From the way she replies to Ann at the beginning, and just from her facial expressions, it’s clear that she thinks this whole thing is just a big joke (not in the sense that she doesn’t believe Ann, but in the sense that for her, for Anne, all that’s happening doesn’t make any sense). Anne’s first reaction is almost dismissive, but her voice when she replies is sweet and calm: “Can you hear that?” – “What, the wind?” – Her answers are logical and sarcastic – ”And what are they saying about me?” – “You’re going to die.” – “Well, yes, eventually.” – She tries to reason with Ann, she tries to make her understand that what she’s hearing is just the wind or the noises of the house, nothing more. But when Ann says – “Don’t be glib!” – Anne starts to change her attitude.

As the scene goes on and Ann says more and more stuff about the voices she hears, Anne becomes more and more serious – “When you say voices, how many can you hear?” – “Ann, do you recognize the voices?” – “Are they always the same voices?” – She stops being dismissive or sarcastic and she starts really paying attention. I love this because it shows that she is a very good observer and she’s very quick to see the importance of the situation and understand what the person she’s with (AW in this case) really needs. She does this many times in the series and it’s one of her character traits I love the most.

I also love how physical she is during this scene. She’s always touching Ann, caressing her, holding her hands, holding her head to her chest, kissing her head. This is how Anne reassures Ann and shows her support, we’ve seen her do this in other occasions: in the scene in 1x03, when Ann’s on the floor, crying because she thought Anne wasn’t gonna come back to her and at the end of 1x05, after Ann tells Anne about Reverend Ainsworth. And I think it’s very important that AL not only gives emotional support but that she also gives physical support. Anne Lister understands that what Ann’s going through is not only emotionally exhausting but also physically exhausting, and she’s there for it, for all of it.

“They’re going to kill you as well as me, and we’ll both burn in hell for all eternity! Everlasting torment in hellfire!“ – In the bible it’s said that sinners who have committed a mortal sin will burn in hell for all eternity. And this is what Ann Walker believes. Ann believes to have committed a mortal sin, she was aware of the sinful act and its gravity and she committed it deliberately. When AW says they’re going to “burn in hell”, AL answers – “What? No!” – This is also an interesting reference to what real Anne Lister thought about all this, in fact she doubted the doctrine of “everlasting torment in hellfire” (”Miss Rawson and I agreed we doubted the doctrine of everlasting torment in hellfire” – 10th February 1833), she probably didn’t believe God could actually let someone burn in hell for all eternity. This shows us how different the Ann(e)s are from each other, and how Anne Lister used to “interpret” the bible in the way that suited her most, while Ann used to observe the common doctrine.

Ann talks about hearing three voices – “Men. Sometimes, there’s a woman.” – If you go back and watch Ann’s nightmare the only three distinctive voices we hear are of two men and a woman. Ann is repeating, in some way, what she heard in her dream: “Anyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in their heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, rip it out! Burn in hell! If your right hand causes you to sin. Cut it off! For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body goes to hell! Hell was created for the devil and his angels. It was a place made for everlasting torment and punishment.“

All this is a paraphrased version of what’s written in the bible about adultery: Matthew 5:29 > “And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.” and Matthew 5:30 > “And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.” These two sections happen right after Jesus said: “everyone who gazes at a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.“ And then about hell, Matthew 25:41 > “Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels“.

Ann tries to find some peace saying the Lord’s Prayer: “Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses. As we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil, for thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory, forever and ever. Amen.“ She’s asking God to help her know His will, she’s asking to be forgiven for her sins, she’s asking for mercy. And she repeats this again and again while holding the Book of Common Prayer AL gave her.

So, I don’t really know where I’m going with this but, yes, all AW’s torments (in real life and in the series) come from the fact that she was unable to reconcile her sexuality and her desires with her faith and her religion. 

Other things about this scene that caught my attention and could be endlessly analyzed: • Anne’s calm and controlled energy that helps Catherine Rawson to deal with the situation and be a little less frightened of Ann • Anne saying “I was in my room next door” and making you go “was she in the room next door?” because she says it so naturally and she sounds so convincing (she has probably used that excuse many times before) that for a split second you believe her even if you know she was not sleeping in the next room • How Anne takes the weights out of the clock herself to get rid of anything that could disturb Ann’s sleep and how this really happened (she didn’t do it herself tho) • Ann Walker just clinging to Anne Lister as soon as Anne is back in the room because Anne is the only one who can make her feel a little better even if she’s also one of the reasons why she feels so bad. And of course Sophie Rundle who is just brilliant in this scene.

I’m gonna end this with two stupid things that I love lol 1. the face Anne makes after Ann told her that the voices are “in the clock” cracks me up. 2. how hot is Anne turning on that thing with which she lights the candle????

Well, I don’t know if I answered you, I hope I have :) have a nice day!

[jising-jisang-jisung]

Truth or Dare | Kim Seungmin

Genre: fluff

Word count: 1.9k

A/n: hi I did this instead of everything else I was supposed to do and I think it's really cute and I love Seungmin and I hope you like it

"Cmon y/n, when will you confess to Seungmin?" Your friend, Kate taunted you again. She has been on your case ever since you filled her in on your little crush. She only knows that you've liked him since freshman year, but really it's been since like 7th grade. "It's senior year, what's the worst that could happen if you confess? You move away in a few months and never have to experience the awkwardness of seeing each other everyday? How awful." You don't laugh at her joke, so Kate takes that as a sign that it's time to change the subject. "Well, yknow how my birthday is in like 2 weeks. My mom is letting me have a party with my friends and she won't even have to be there to supervise. Since I'll be an adult and all!" She emphasizes adult as if being 18 suddenly makes her mature.

"Sounds great, Kate," you rhyme. You're hardly paying attention because something, or rather someone, caught your attention. "I'll see you after class," and then you're off to math while Kate had biology. She definitely noticed how hard you were staring at Seungmin while she was talking with you. Of course, you know nothing of what's to come.

~

"Hey! Felix!"

"What's up, Kate?" Felix was friends with Seungmin and some other boys. He also tended to be seen with Kate. Most people just assumed they were dating, and maybe they were, not even they know for sure.

"I'm having a birthday party next weekend and you and your friends are invited! Especially Seungmin." She adds a wink with the last statement.

"Will Miss y/n be there?"

"Of course. Why do you think I'm specifying for Seungmin?"

"It's so painfully obvious that he likes her so why can't he make a move already?!"

"Y/n is no different," Kate admits. "That's why I have a plan."

~

"H-hey y/n, " Seungmin stutters as he sits in his seat next to you.

"Oh, hi," you manage to reply, blush evident throughout your face.

"Um, did you get number 27 on the homework? I was super confused."

"Yeah, the equation for that one is different than the others because..." you explained the concept to Seungmin while he stared at your face unbeknownst to you. "Does that make sense?"

"Yes. I get it now!" He smiles and you actually die. You caught a glance at his homework to see number 27 done correctly but you were to affected by his smile to put two and two together.

~

All the days seemed to be same, passing by until it was finally Kate's birthday party. Obviously you went super early to help her set up. There was no alcohol allowed since her mom said she would let her throw it all by herself under that one condition, not that Kate would ever underage drink anyway we are good children here.

Kate left to answer the door as you pulled some cookies out of the oven. "Kate! Happy birthday!" You heard Felix's voice ring through the entryway. You weren't surprised she invited him, but then you heard more voices.

"Your house looks really nice."

"Happy birthday, Kate."

"Where should I put this gift?" Your eyes widened. You could recognize that voice anywhere.

"Kate! Can you come here for a moment?" You shouted for her.

"What's up, buttercup? Are the cookies okay?"

"I can't believe you invited Seungmin. Bro, I thought we were cool." You overreacted.

"Chill, y/n, all his friends are here, along with our friends. There's so many people, don't even worry about it." She tries to reassure you.

"Well... do I at least look okay?" You ask shyly.

"Look fine to me." You jump at the boy's voice. "But I suppose I'm not the one you want to look good for."

"Jisung, you scared the crap out of me," Kate smiles as you nearly died of embarrassment. Had he heard your whole conversation?

"No. Only the last part." He answers. It's only then that you realize you asked that out loud. You face palmed with bright red cheeks as more boys filed into the kitchen.

~

"Now that everyone is here, let's get this party started!" Kate announces as she turns on some speakers and blasts some upbeat music. She and Felix dance on the coffee table while everyone else is jumping around on the couches and dancing on the floor. The mess of people was starting to become overwhelming when you felt someone push you from behind. Unluckily, you fell directly into Seungmin's arms.

"Wow. Falling for me this early in the night. I hate to say I'm not surprised, y/n," Seungmin says in a low tone. "I'm just kidding," he quickly adds when he sees your eyes bulging out of your head.

"Oh, yeah. Right! Haha! So sorry I fell into you. There are so many people."

"Since I have you here, wanna dance?" He smiles again. How could anyone say no to his perfect smile?

"I'm sorry what was that?" He looks confused, like a puppy.

"I said yes!" You lie trying to cover up your thoughts that you must've spoken out loud, again. You and Seungmin begin to jump around, laughing. Kate gives you a knowing look which you return with a glare. Little did you know Felix and Seungmin were in the same boat.

~

"What else do you have planned?" Felix asks sounding very rehearsed.

"Hmm. Why don't we play truth or dare?!" Kate suggests. That was not on the schedule you had for the night's events. You knew something bad was going to happen when Kate smiled your way.

Everyone sat criss cross applesauce in a circle and Jisung volunteered to start. "Minho, truth or dare?"

"Dare." The boy responds with a brave look in his eye.

"I dare you to," he pauses, thinking of something good, "do a sexy dance for everyone."

"Pff. Okay." Minho continues to grind on the ground, not minding the looks he's getting at all. In fact, Jisung had to stop him, because it was getting too out of hand too quickly.

"I didn't dare you to strip, MinHOE!"

"Whatever, you know you liked it," he teased back. "Hmm let's see. Kate, truth or dare?"

"Uh, I'll pick truth."

"Do you like Felix?"

She furrows her eyebrows together, looking confused. "Felix and I are dating. So, to clarify, yes I like him very much." Everyone is so lost as to how they hadn't known that the two were official. I mean, y'all obviously could see that they liked each other duh. "Felix, truth or dare?"

"Dare." He adds a wink to Kate.

"I dare you to kiss me." The crowd shouts a bunch of ews and grosses as Felix briefly pecks Kate's lips.

He turns to Seungmin with a devilish look. "Seungmin, truth or dare?"

He must not have been paying attention yeah cuz he was admiring you face again whore because he is completely oblivious to the grin on Felix's face right now. "Why not? Dare."

"I dare you to kiss y/n" Felix sticks his tongue out at Seungmin as everyone turns to look at you. You tried so hard to keep your face from looking like a tomato but you knew it was no use. Seungmin gulped as he stared at you.

"I- I can't." His words made you frown without thinking. "Y/n, should have a say in this too. I can't just kiss her without her consent," he elaborates.

"Fine then," Felix speaks again. "I dare you to go up to Kate's room alone with y/n. Anything you two might do in there is all up to both of your consents." Felix smirks at you and then back to Seungmin. You both kept eye contact as you stood to head to your friend's bedroom. There were lots of hoots and hollers following you two as you made your way up the stairs with faces painted with crimson shades.

~

You both sat on Kate's bed. You face was on fire even more now because he was so close. When I mean close,, like your legs were nearly /touching/. And you can't handle being so /close/ to your big phat crush. However, the feeling seemed somewhat mutual for Seungmin.

"Do you like me?" You squeaked out. It was completely random and Seungmin even flinched slightly at the sound of your voice.

"..." the boy stayed silent and you refused to meet his gaze.

"ohmygosh that was so rude of me to just ask. I'm sorry. Just forget I said anything." You began to get up to walk away when he grabbed your wrist.

"Do you- like me?"

"..." it was your turn to mimick the silence you'd not heard moments earlier.

"Did we both not say anything for the same reason?" You opened your mouth to respond when the door opened, revealing Jeongin.

"I was told to come make sure you two weren't doing anything," he narrows his eyes on Seungmin, "gross." You both sat there like deer in head lights. Jeongin looked at your hand and then back at Seungmin. You hadn't noticed that Seungmin's and your pinkies had been laced until Jeongin's judgy stare pointed it out. "Also, you are both welcome to rejoin the party." The younger boy smiled and walked back down the stairs without a care in the world.

~

"Wow look who's back," Jisung announced. "You two didn't have too much fun did you?"

"Don't be icky!" Jeongin defended you. "They weren't even talking to one another when I walked in. But- they were basically holding hands!"

"Not true! He's lying!" Seungmin shouts back. You laugh, looking down to see that you, in fact still had your pinkies intertwined. You broke away and returned to your seat to continue the game.

"Anyway, it's my turn," Hyunjin claims. "Seungmin, truth or dare?"

"Me already again?" He looks a bit freaked out before taking a breath and choosing, "truth."

"Wrong choice, buddy. Do you like y/n?"

He makes deliberate eye contact with you as he answers the question. "Yes. Y/n, pick truth."

"Truth." Everything was happening so quick, you didn't have time to react to what Seungmin was even saying before you responded.

"Do I have your consent this time?" It took a moment for you to figure out what he meant. When you put together that he was asking if he could kiss you, you shook your head quickly. He wasted no time before softly pressing his lips to yours. They were sweet like honey and warm and soft and you thought you could get lost in the moment forever. That is, until he pulled away. It was much to soon for your liking, until you remembered where you were. You both looked around to see everyone's jaws dropped in shock. You timidly smiled and your friends began to cheer. They were soon followed by Seungmin's friends screaming, Jeongin in particular.

Needless to say, you remember very little of what happened after that moment at the party. All you do know is that your friends set you up and Seungmin's friends set him up and now you two are in love. Senior year sure was going to be interesting.

[smileyoongle]

Mafia BTS! A woman like her (Maknae Line)

Here's the maknae line. Requested by @zamanladysi Finally I completed this request. Hope you enjoy this.

Park Jimin:

Jimin lay on the coarse floor of the cell. Just recently, he had been arrested and beaten up to the point where he didn't think he'd live any longer. Someone from his gang had betrayed him. He had many connections within the police department too, but a new officer had caused great distress to everyone. Jimin's back hurt from all the times he had been hurt by a whip. He had been here for a week and soon he was gonna be executed. His entire body was on fire, but he couldn't do anything. His mouth was parched and he was starving. He wished that his suffering would just end, he didn't even wanna live anymore.

Suddenly, the commotion was heard outside of the cell, gunshots and screams filling the entire building. Jimin slowly turned his head to the bars of the cell, seeing officers running around. With all his strength, he propped himself on his elbows and settled with his back against a wall. All of a sudden, everything fell silent. Jimin's breathing was becoming heavy, he was fighting to stay conscious. Just then, the sound of footsteps was heard from the corridor outside. A figure came to a halt beside Jimin's cell. Jimin's eyes clenched shut when he saw the gun in the mysterious person's hand. This was it. Someone probably wanted to kill him for revenge. Two loud gunshots and a creak of the door being opened echoed through the place. Jimin slowly opened his eyes to see a masked person approaching him. The black hooded person knelt in front of Jimin and gasped at his condition. His eyes started drooping. Slowly reaching his hand out, Jimin pulled the mask away from the stranger's face.

He frowned deeply upon seeing you. A girl whose face showed concern for The Park Jimin, someone who mercilessly took people's lives. "Wh-who..." Jimin croaked, coughing right after. You took off your bag and pulled out a bottle of water. You were completely aware of how he had been staying in the jail cell for the past week so you came prepared. With shivering hands, you opened the cap of the bottle and placed it near Jimin's mouth. As soon as the water met his tongue, Jimin's thirst increased. After downing the entire bottle, he felt a tiny bit better. But he was still close to fainting. "Stay with me till I get you out of here, yeah?" You whispered, ready to hoist him up. "Y/N, we should leave!" Your accomplice warned from outside. "Who are you?" Jimin asked in a better voice as you helped him stand up. "Consider me your angel for now." You answered, leading him out of the building. With a grunt, you managed to shoot down a guard and keep a hold of Jimin at the same time.

"We'll talk about the 'not so angelic' parts later."

Kim Taehyung:

You inhaled deeply as you stared at your tied hands. The harsh rope was digging into your skin but that wasn't the problem. The problem was the man who was standing infront of you, eyeing you like he was about to devour you.

"You thought you're so slick, but baby, I run a mafia for a reason." You flinched when his hand reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. You looked at him straight in the eyes, giving him your best glare. "I know you've been sent to spy on me. So tell me, what have you found out, Miss Y/L/N?" He asked, moving to sit on the chair in front of you. You had been very confident that you were gonna make it out alive. But all that went out the window when Kim Taehyung had captured you, somehow being aware of your presence around him. "Oh don't worry, Mr Kim. Apart from the fact that you're a pathetic and an atrocious bastard who hurts people for no reason, I only know about all your connections and illegal deals with people around the city." You smiled at him sarcastically. He tilted his head to give you an amusing look and let out a chuckle. He stood up from the chair and knelt down to meet your eyes. "People usually don't talk to me that way because they know I'd kill them in a heartbeat." He said in a very serious tone. It almost scared you but you were prepared for this. You were probably gonna die, so why not be a little brave? Suddenly, he smiled and grabbed the back of your neck, pulling you to him. Your breathing hitched as you tried to pull away but his hold was firm and tight.

"But I like your attitude. So maybe I'll just have to keep you here with me, doll." He mumbled, his gaze falling to your lips. Your nose brushed against his as you hurried to cut the ropes, discreetly. "You might have to rethink that." You suggested, making Taehyung frown. Your lips broke into a smirk, only adding to his confusion. But soon enough, everything became clear when he felt a sharp object pushing into his abdomen. His eyes widened and he fell back in pain. You stood up, rubbing your wrists while Taehyung tried to take out the small knife which was dug deep into his skin. His men were ready to shoot you when Taehyung yelled, "Alive. I want her alive!" You shook your head at him. He really shouldn't have said that. You quickly grabbed two smoke grenades, throwing it towards the guards. They really should've checked you before tying you up. They threw themselves down on the floor, thinking it was an explosive one. Taehyung managed to pull out the knife, tossing it to the side. But he couldn't understand why a small knife had caused him to become so weak and drowsy. You ran towards the exit, turning back one last time to look at the currently helpless gangster. You smirked as you saw him trying to reach for his gun while glaring at you intensely. He was burning with desire to kill you, but at the same time, he wanted you in ways he never wanted someone before. "The knife was laced with a fatal poison, Mr Kim. If you happen to live, then I'll see you behind bars. But if not, then adiós!" You informed him as you opened the door to leave. Taehyung clenched his jaw as he took one clear look at you. He wasn't gonna die without getting you back. His breathing became heavy as pain shot through his chest.

"Doesn't matter where you go. I will have you surrender every inch of you to me."

Jeon Jungkook:

Jungkook entered the lavish cabin with anger evident in his eyes. Two of his men had been killed by a rival and he wasn't gonna sit quietly. He had been hearing about this gang for a while now, but he never thought they would dare to mess with him. His men followed behind as he stood in front of a huge table, across which sat someone, their back facing the small mob. Jungkook had murder on his mind but as soon as the chair turned, it was replaced with shock. Everything was the same, those eyes he adored, the long hair he loved messing with and the lips he always wanted to kiss. But the difference was the smile on those lips, which once used to be innocent and now it was far from innocent. "Missed me?" Your honeyed voice was messing with his heart again. He stood still, contemplating what to say because seeing you was the last thing he expected. His men were surprised to see him so speechless. Gathering his voice, he finally spoke. "Y/N, what are you doing here?" He frowned, taking in your appearance. Black had never been your colour but now it was the only thing Jungkook saw on you. "Aw, don't tell me you don't know. I am the one who killed your two favourite pets, Jungkook. And I can't wait to see more heads roll." You grinned, warning him of what you planned on doing. Jungkook's heart ached, listening to you say those words. His Y/N was kind and thoughtful but you were merciless. And he knew it was his doing. "Why are you doing this? This isn't like you, Y/N!" He slammed his hand on the table, making everyone flinch, except you. Your smile disappeared as you saw his frustration. You stood up from the chair and made your way to him. Everytime you looked at him, all you could think of was the day you had seen him kill your father with his own hands. The boy who was your best friend since childhood had murdered your only family in front of your eyes. "You are asking me why I am doing this. Oh come on, Jungkook. You don't want me to answer that, do you?" You narrowed your eyes at him, tilting your head to see his face. There was once a time when you loved this handsome face but now you felt nothing but hatred for him. You moved closer to him and wrapped your arms around his neck, placing your mouth next to his ear. Tears were pricking your eyes but you didn't care. He deserved to see what he did to you. "And the Y/N you're talking about? I don't think you'll ever see her again because I kinda killed her." You whispered, tears already staining your cheeks. Jungkook wanted to hold you and scream at you for saying such nonsense. But he lost the right to do that. If his Y/N really wasn't here anymore then it was because of him. You wiped your tears harshly and left the cabin as you pushed past Jungkook, leaving him hurt. Your men quietly followed you outside. At that moment, Jungkook felt the most empty he had ever been. He truly lost the girl he was in love with and he never even got a chance to say it out loud. He leaned against the table as he covered his face with his hands. He felt the wetness on his cheeks cover his palms. He had to get you back, no matter what, he had to tell you why everything ended the way it did. And you had to listen.

"I need you and I need to be needed by you."

I can't believe I wrote this in one day. Tell me how it is. I really lack motivation. But I hope you all liked it. Also, jungkook's ended up being too long. I don't know what I am doing.

- XX

[eczemang-blog]

Cause Of Eczema You've Never Heard About and Signs Of It's Improvement

There is no way you can possible get rid of eczema if you do not know the cause of eczema. Yeah! the chance of you being cured is probably at stake or perhaps on 3% tendency. Have you ever take a pill without even knowing what was wrong with you? or what the cause actually was? Yeah, it's almost or equivalent to this effect and matter. How possible is this "You curing an eczema without knowing what the cause of eczema was, that;s too awful to even hear such. Now by so doing, you stand the chance of endangering your health because there is absolutely no lead to it's treatment since the cause of eczema was not discovered. However, I'd love to lament on the issue of discovering the cause of a thing before going further to it's solution measures. So I do not think that I can go any further on this very content without going to the cause of eczema. Let's know what causes this particular disease.

Cause Of Eczema

Subsequently, there is no absolute cause of eczema. Meanwhile there is a combination of triggers and genes that causes eczema as prescribed by some group or researchers. Regarding the cause of eczema, it could be visible to the various types of eczema. However, it has been discovered that people or victims with eczema tent to have an over-reacting immune system. This immune system when triggered by a particular substance outside or inside the body and it responds by producing inflammation. It is this inflammation that causes the red, itchy and painful skin symptoms common to most types of eczema. Hence from research, it also shows that some people with eczema have a mutation of the gene responsible for creating filaggrin. Filaggrin is a protein that helps our bodies maintain a healthy protective barrier on the very top layer of the skin. YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE: Heat Rash – Symptoms And How To Get Rid Of It Immediately Without enough filaggrin to build a strong skin barrier, moisture can escape and bacteria, viruses and more can enter. This is why many people with eczema have very dry and infection-prone skin. So below are some of the things that triggers or the cause of eczema Stress Dry Skin Irritants such as fragrances, Cigarette smoke, metals, in particular, nickel Infection Climate and Sweating Hormones Allergens

Cause Of Eczema In Baby

Eczema can show up as red, crusty patches on your baby's skin, often during their first few months. It’s common and very treatable. Many infants outgrow it. Not sure if your baby's itchy, irritated rash is eczema? Your doctor can tell you for sure. These questions and answers can help you understand what to look for. It can run in families. If a parent has eczema, a baby is a lot more likely to get it, too. Problems in the skin barrier, allowing moisture out and germs in, could also be a cause. Eczema happens when the body makes too few fatty cells called ceramides. If you don’t have enough of them, your skin will lose water and become very dry.

Cause Of Eczema In Adult

From this, there are some certain cause of eczema in adult so many folks out there do not know about. Pollen is one of the many potential triggers of eczema. The specific cause of eczema remains unknown, but it is believed to develop due to a combination of genetic and environmental factors. YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE: Heat Rash – Symptoms And How To Get Rid Of It Immediately Children are more likely to develop eczema if a parent has had the condition or another atopic disease. Also, emotional stress is considered one of the cause of eczema, but we are not exactly sure why. Meanwhile, some people's eczema symptoms get worse when they're feeling “stressed.” Others may become stressed, just knowing they have eczema, and this can make their skin flare up. Learn more about how stress and eczema are related.

Cause Of Eczema On Hands

Before we trash the cause of eczema on hands, let's look into some important facts about this very eczema. Eczema on your hands can be uncomfortable and frustrating. Dermatologists weigh in on how to ease symptoms like itchy, red skin. Meanwhile, the exact cause of eczema on hands is not yet found or perhaps regarded as an unknown. Researchers believes that such issues was as a result of seasonal allergies such as hay fever.

Cause Of Eczema Flare Up

There are everyday materials in the environment that cancause you to have an allergic reaction and trigger aneczema flare up. Some of the most common are: seasonal pollen, dust mites, pet dander from cats and dogs, mold and dandruff.

Signs Of Eczema Healing

For centuries, the Healing Crisis has been widely documented as the body’s normal response to purging toxins. Similarly, when you embark on a health program, the increased release of chemicals that the body has previously stored in your tissues (to safely keep the toxins out of the blood), are now dumped into the bloodstream for processing in the liver. So below are some signs of eczema healing; Worsening of your current skin disorder Lethargy and sluggishness Itchy skin (or increased itch) Headaches Fever or flu-like symptoms Diarrhoea or constipation Skin eruptions (pimples or oozing) Joint/muscle pains Swollen glands Depression Irritability Body aches Sweating or chills So having known this (cause of eczema and so on), always recognize the fact that these above are some symptoms that tells you or informs you of the new development of your skin. When you notice all these, know that your eczema is at the peak of getting cleared from your skin. Meanwhile, from this content so far, I hope you have been able to know some cause of eczema in a viral sphere and in a broad way? So having known them, did you find this content very resourceful? do you have any question to ask? Kindly send us a feedback using the comment box below, and please do not forget to share this content, thanks.   Read the full article

[eczemang-blog]

Cause Of Eczema You've Never Heard About and Signs Of It's Improvement

There is no way you can possible get rid of eczema if you do not know the cause of eczema. Yeah! the chance of you being cured is probably at stake or perhaps on 3% tendency. Have you ever take a pill without even knowing what was wrong with you? or what the cause actually was? Yeah, it's almost or equivalent to this effect and matter. How possible is this "You curing an eczema without knowing what the cause of eczema was, that;s too awful to even hear such. Now by so doing, you stand the chance of endangering your health because there is absolutely no lead to it's treatment since the cause of eczema was not discovered. However, I'd love to lament on the issue of discovering the cause of a thing before going further to it's solution measures. So I do not think that I can go any further on this very content without going to the cause of eczema. Let's know what causes this particular disease.

Cause Of Eczema

Subsequently, there is no absolute cause of eczema. Meanwhile there is a combination of triggers and genes that causes eczema as prescribed by some group or researchers. Regarding the cause of eczema, it could be visible to the various types of eczema. However, it has been discovered that people or victims with eczema tent to have an over-reacting immune system. This immune system when triggered by a particular substance outside or inside the body and it responds by producing inflammation. It is this inflammation that causes the red, itchy and painful skin symptoms common to most types of eczema. Hence from research, it also shows that some people with eczema have a mutation of the gene responsible for creating filaggrin. Filaggrin is a protein that helps our bodies maintain a healthy protective barrier on the very top layer of the skin. YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE: Heat Rash – Symptoms And How To Get Rid Of It Immediately Without enough filaggrin to build a strong skin barrier, moisture can escape and bacteria, viruses and more can enter. This is why many people with eczema have very dry and infection-prone skin. So below are some of the things that triggers or the cause of eczema Stress Dry Skin Irritants such as fragrances, Cigarette smoke, metals, in particular, nickel Infection Climate and Sweating Hormones Allergens

Cause Of Eczema In Baby

Eczema can show up as red, crusty patches on your baby's skin, often during their first few months. It’s common and very treatable. Many infants outgrow it. Not sure if your baby's itchy, irritated rash is eczema? Your doctor can tell you for sure. These questions and answers can help you understand what to look for. It can run in families. If a parent has eczema, a baby is a lot more likely to get it, too. Problems in the skin barrier, allowing moisture out and germs in, could also be a cause. Eczema happens when the body makes too few fatty cells called ceramides. If you don’t have enough of them, your skin will lose water and become very dry.

Cause Of Eczema In Adult

From this, there are some certain cause of eczema in adult so many folks out there do not know about. Pollen is one of the many potential triggers of eczema. The specific cause of eczema remains unknown, but it is believed to develop due to a combination of genetic and environmental factors. YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE: Heat Rash – Symptoms And How To Get Rid Of It Immediately Children are more likely to develop eczema if a parent has had the condition or another atopic disease. Also, emotional stress is considered one of the cause of eczema, but we are not exactly sure why. Meanwhile, some people's eczema symptoms get worse when they're feeling “stressed.” Others may become stressed, just knowing they have eczema, and this can make their skin flare up. Learn more about how stress and eczema are related.

Cause Of Eczema On Hands

Before we trash the cause of eczema on hands, let's look into some important facts about this very eczema. Eczema on your hands can be uncomfortable and frustrating. Dermatologists weigh in on how to ease symptoms like itchy, red skin. Meanwhile, the exact cause of eczema on hands is not yet found or perhaps regarded as an unknown. Researchers believes that such issues was as a result of seasonal allergies such as hay fever.

Cause Of Eczema Flare Up

There are everyday materials in the environment that cancause you to have an allergic reaction and trigger aneczema flare up. Some of the most common are: seasonal pollen, dust mites, pet dander from cats and dogs, mold and dandruff.

Signs Of Eczema Healing

For centuries, the Healing Crisis has been widely documented as the body’s normal response to purging toxins. Similarly, when you embark on a health program, the increased release of chemicals that the body has previously stored in your tissues (to safely keep the toxins out of the blood), are now dumped into the bloodstream for processing in the liver. So below are some signs of eczema healing; Worsening of your current skin disorder Lethargy and sluggishness Itchy skin (or increased itch) Headaches Fever or flu-like symptoms Diarrhoea or constipation Skin eruptions (pimples or oozing) Joint/muscle pains Swollen glands Depression Irritability Body aches Sweating or chills So having known this (cause of eczema and so on), always recognize the fact that these above are some symptoms that tells you or informs you of the new development of your skin. When you notice all these, know that your eczema is at the peak of getting cleared from your skin. Meanwhile, from this content so far, I hope you have been able to know some cause of eczema in a viral sphere and in a broad way? So having known them, did you find this content very resourceful? do you have any question to ask? Kindly send us a feedback using the comment box below, and please do not forget to share this content, thanks.   Read the full article

[eczemang-blog]

Cause Of Eczema You've Never Heard About and Signs Of It's Improvement

There is no way you can possible get rid of eczema if you do not know the cause of eczema. Yeah! the chance of you being cured is probably at stake or perhaps on 3% tendency. Have you ever take a pill without even knowing what was wrong with you? or what the cause actually was? Yeah, it's almost or equivalent to this effect and matter. How possible is this "You curing an eczema without knowing what the cause of eczema was, that;s too awful to even hear such. Now by so doing, you stand the chance of endangering your health because there is absolutely no lead to it's treatment since the cause of eczema was not discovered. However, I'd love to lament on the issue of discovering the cause of a thing before going further to it's solution measures. So I do not think that I can go any further on this very content without going to the cause of eczema. Let's know what causes this particular disease.

Cause Of Eczema

Subsequently, there is no absolute cause of eczema. Meanwhile there is a combination of triggers and genes that causes eczema as prescribed by some group or researchers. Regarding the cause of eczema, it could be visible to the various types of eczema. However, it has been discovered that people or victims with eczema tent to have an over-reacting immune system. This immune system when triggered by a particular substance outside or inside the body and it responds by producing inflammation. It is this inflammation that causes the red, itchy and painful skin symptoms common to most types of eczema. Hence from research, it also shows that some people with eczema have a mutation of the gene responsible for creating filaggrin. Filaggrin is a protein that helps our bodies maintain a healthy protective barrier on the very top layer of the skin. YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE: Heat Rash – Symptoms And How To Get Rid Of It Immediately Without enough filaggrin to build a strong skin barrier, moisture can escape and bacteria, viruses and more can enter. This is why many people with eczema have very dry and infection-prone skin. So below are some of the things that triggers or the cause of eczema Stress Dry Skin Irritants such as fragrances, Cigarette smoke, metals, in particular, nickel Infection Climate and Sweating Hormones Allergens

Cause Of Eczema In Baby

Eczema can show up as red, crusty patches on your baby's skin, often during their first few months. It’s common and very treatable. Many infants outgrow it. Not sure if your baby's itchy, irritated rash is eczema? Your doctor can tell you for sure. These questions and answers can help you understand what to look for. It can run in families. If a parent has eczema, a baby is a lot more likely to get it, too. Problems in the skin barrier, allowing moisture out and germs in, could also be a cause. Eczema happens when the body makes too few fatty cells called ceramides. If you don’t have enough of them, your skin will lose water and become very dry.

Cause Of Eczema In Adult

From this, there are some certain cause of eczema in adult so many folks out there do not know about. Pollen is one of the many potential triggers of eczema. The specific cause of eczema remains unknown, but it is believed to develop due to a combination of genetic and environmental factors. YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE: Heat Rash – Symptoms And How To Get Rid Of It Immediately Children are more likely to develop eczema if a parent has had the condition or another atopic disease. Also, emotional stress is considered one of the cause of eczema, but we are not exactly sure why. Meanwhile, some people's eczema symptoms get worse when they're feeling “stressed.” Others may become stressed, just knowing they have eczema, and this can make their skin flare up. Learn more about how stress and eczema are related.

Cause Of Eczema On Hands

Before we trash the cause of eczema on hands, let's look into some important facts about this very eczema. Eczema on your hands can be uncomfortable and frustrating. Dermatologists weigh in on how to ease symptoms like itchy, red skin. Meanwhile, the exact cause of eczema on hands is not yet found or perhaps regarded as an unknown. Researchers believes that such issues was as a result of seasonal allergies such as hay fever.

Cause Of Eczema Flare Up

There are everyday materials in the environment that cancause you to have an allergic reaction and trigger aneczema flare up. Some of the most common are: seasonal pollen, dust mites, pet dander from cats and dogs, mold and dandruff.

Signs Of Eczema Healing

For centuries, the Healing Crisis has been widely documented as the body’s normal response to purging toxins. Similarly, when you embark on a health program, the increased release of chemicals that the body has previously stored in your tissues (to safely keep the toxins out of the blood), are now dumped into the bloodstream for processing in the liver. So below are some signs of eczema healing; Worsening of your current skin disorder Lethargy and sluggishness Itchy skin (or increased itch) Headaches Fever or flu-like symptoms Diarrhoea or constipation Skin eruptions (pimples or oozing) Joint/muscle pains Swollen glands Depression Irritability Body aches Sweating or chills So having known this (cause of eczema and so on), always recognize the fact that these above are some symptoms that tells you or informs you of the new development of your skin. When you notice all these, know that your eczema is at the peak of getting cleared from your skin. Meanwhile, from this content so far, I hope you have been able to know some cause of eczema in a viral sphere and in a broad way? So having known them, did you find this content very resourceful? do you have any question to ask? Kindly send us a feedback using the comment box below, and please do not forget to share this content, thanks.   Read the full article

[eczemang-blog]

Cause Of Eczema You've Never Heard About and Signs Of It's Improvement

There is no way you can possible get rid of eczema if you do not know the cause of eczema. Yeah! the chance of you being cured is probably at stake or perhaps on 3% tendency. Have you ever take a pill without even knowing what was wrong with you? or what the cause actually was? Yeah, it's almost or equivalent to this effect and matter. How possible is this "You curing an eczema without knowing what the cause of eczema was, that;s too awful to even hear such. Now by so doing, you stand the chance of endangering your health because there is absolutely no lead to it's treatment since the cause of eczema was not discovered. However, I'd love to lament on the issue of discovering the cause of a thing before going further to it's solution measures. So I do not think that I can go any further on this very content without going to the cause of eczema. Let's know what causes this particular disease.

Cause Of Eczema

Subsequently, there is no absolute cause of eczema. Meanwhile there is a combination of triggers and genes that causes eczema as prescribed by some group or researchers. Regarding the cause of eczema, it could be visible to the various types of eczema. However, it has been discovered that people or victims with eczema tent to have an over-reacting immune system. This immune system when triggered by a particular substance outside or inside the body and it responds by producing inflammation. It is this inflammation that causes the red, itchy and painful skin symptoms common to most types of eczema. Hence from research, it also shows that some people with eczema have a mutation of the gene responsible for creating filaggrin. Filaggrin is a protein that helps our bodies maintain a healthy protective barrier on the very top layer of the skin. YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE: Heat Rash – Symptoms And How To Get Rid Of It Immediately Without enough filaggrin to build a strong skin barrier, moisture can escape and bacteria, viruses and more can enter. This is why many people with eczema have very dry and infection-prone skin. So below are some of the things that triggers or the cause of eczema Stress Dry Skin Irritants such as fragrances, Cigarette smoke, metals, in particular, nickel Infection Climate and Sweating Hormones Allergens

Cause Of Eczema In Baby

Eczema can show up as red, crusty patches on your baby's skin, often during their first few months. It’s common and very treatable. Many infants outgrow it. Not sure if your baby's itchy, irritated rash is eczema? Your doctor can tell you for sure. These questions and answers can help you understand what to look for. It can run in families. If a parent has eczema, a baby is a lot more likely to get it, too. Problems in the skin barrier, allowing moisture out and germs in, could also be a cause. Eczema happens when the body makes too few fatty cells called ceramides. If you don’t have enough of them, your skin will lose water and become very dry.

Cause Of Eczema In Adult

From this, there are some certain cause of eczema in adult so many folks out there do not know about. Pollen is one of the many potential triggers of eczema. The specific cause of eczema remains unknown, but it is believed to develop due to a combination of genetic and environmental factors. YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE: Heat Rash – Symptoms And How To Get Rid Of It Immediately Children are more likely to develop eczema if a parent has had the condition or another atopic disease. Also, emotional stress is considered one of the cause of eczema, but we are not exactly sure why. Meanwhile, some people's eczema symptoms get worse when they're feeling “stressed.” Others may become stressed, just knowing they have eczema, and this can make their skin flare up. Learn more about how stress and eczema are related.

Cause Of Eczema On Hands

Before we trash the cause of eczema on hands, let's look into some important facts about this very eczema. Eczema on your hands can be uncomfortable and frustrating. Dermatologists weigh in on how to ease symptoms like itchy, red skin. Meanwhile, the exact cause of eczema on hands is not yet found or perhaps regarded as an unknown. Researchers believes that such issues was as a result of seasonal allergies such as hay fever.

Cause Of Eczema Flare Up

There are everyday materials in the environment that cancause you to have an allergic reaction and trigger aneczema flare up. Some of the most common are: seasonal pollen, dust mites, pet dander from cats and dogs, mold and dandruff.

Signs Of Eczema Healing

For centuries, the Healing Crisis has been widely documented as the body’s normal response to purging toxins. Similarly, when you embark on a health program, the increased release of chemicals that the body has previously stored in your tissues (to safely keep the toxins out of the blood), are now dumped into the bloodstream for processing in the liver. So below are some signs of eczema healing; Worsening of your current skin disorder Lethargy and sluggishness Itchy skin (or increased itch) Headaches Fever or flu-like symptoms Diarrhoea or constipation Skin eruptions (pimples or oozing) Joint/muscle pains Swollen glands Depression Irritability Body aches Sweating or chills So having known this (cause of eczema and so on), always recognize the fact that these above are some symptoms that tells you or informs you of the new development of your skin. When you notice all these, know that your eczema is at the peak of getting cleared from your skin. Meanwhile, from this content so far, I hope you have been able to know some cause of eczema in a viral sphere and in a broad way? So having known them, did you find this content very resourceful? do you have any question to ask? Kindly send us a feedback using the comment box below, and please do not forget to share this content, thanks.   Read the full article