#Well apparently thats trauma and people will come help me sometimes

[sfucked]

Ofc you can't expect people to read your mind, but I posted 2 back-to-back vents on the secret blog and it summoned my partner for snuggles soo maybe y'all just gotta keep looking

[schizosupport]

hey :) so im currently having what is likely psychotic episode, ive experienced various trauma both through childhood and with sexual abuse, and currently have struggles with eating, self harm and also have extremely severe anxiety, depression and then bpd and adhd too

i think more than anything i just want the validation that it is psychosis, that it likely isn't real but it's okay, and that getting help IS a good thing, bc ive been rejected from the public health system for it bc apparently im not psychotic and it wont get worse- as well as any advice on what to do about it all (im in australia if that helps)

uhm. so there's this guy called lamben that showed up about two months ago now, and since then hes explained stuff around me needing to help him take down the queen of the opposing nation, bc shes hurting his people and he brought me some of the victims and theyd had severe burns and everything and it's all more around magic

and so ive been asked to train with him to use the powers i have that are stronger than all of his peoples, which i can see it's like black smoke almost, and then also talking to this other guy called kesan whos the queens assistant thats against what's happening

and so there's been a plan made and everything of how to infiltrate the castle and im terrified rn of going through with it in case i get caught and stuck and i dont take her down i get taken captive

and idk if i sound dumb but like. either im able to connect with another world or its psychosis

and everyones saying it isnt real but i need help navigating it all if youre able to offer anything at all

tysm, know this was a bit of a dump but ty 🫶🫶

Hi there!!

I'm happy you reached out to me. It sounds like you got a lot of stressful stuff going on at the moment, both in shared reality and private reality.

To respond very simply, what you describe sounds like a flavour of psychosis to me, based on my understanding of reality, and I hope you can access some competent help with it. It sounds like a really stressful position you've been put in, where you are the only one who has the ability to save these people you feel have been contacting you.

I'm wondering how you experience your connection to this world? Is it as if reality around you changes, are they coming to you in dreams, or a third option?

I'm asking because I'm wondering what it might entail in "shared reality" to infiltrate the queen's castle? If you think about the actions you'd have to take, is this something that could put you in danger or trouble within the reality that we share with most people?

I'm not doubting your experience and that it's a type of psychosis, I'm asking to get a feeling of what the "real life" implications are of your beliefs and the actions you are being asked to perform. It sounds like you are aware that these beliefs and experiences are unusual, and at the very least aren't aligned with the reality other people are generally experiencing. So I am hoping you are able to think through how you've been interacting with this other world so far, to compare how your actions would appear in shared reality.

Because the first question to think about is whether this has the potential to be dangerous to you or others. Because if it does, you may need to escalate the asking for help. I don't know a lot about Australia, but in my country that would look like contacting emergency services if you feel that you are in danger of doing something that can be dangerous. But I would suggest trying to ask someone Australian, to confirm if what emergency services has to offer is actually helpful.

If the answer is no, it's not dangerous, that doesn't mean it isn't causing you significant distress. But it means you have more space to safely explore your options for help in your own pace.

It might also be that the distress it's causing you is in some ways a welcome distraction from other brain and life issues at the moment. Sometimes psychosis can be a type of escapism that the brain engages in. For example if you feel powerless, it can feel good to have special powers to save others, at least for a while, until the pressure might get to be too much.

It's not necessarily black and white, only good or bad.

As far as help goes, I wonder if you currently have anyone like a therapist or anyone like that, to work through trauma etc with? Or other types of support? Psychosis can definitely be heavily linked to stress, and lacking support to work through other difficulties you're facing can make it worse. The help offered for psychosis itself is unfortunately often somewhat lackluster, often it starts and ends with antipsychotics, even though psychotic people do benefit from therapy. There's at the same time a tendency for mh professionals to dismiss symptoms of psychosis, and to focus on them very single-mindedly. Many people experience either being dismissed, or to have the psychosis being acknowledged while everything else gets pushed to the side. So it can be complicated to navigate the system while having psychosis and other issues that tie in with it.

I hope some of this was helpful, feel free to return to my inbox. I wish you the best ❤️

[crplpunkklavier]

ok i'm not going to make this one rebloggable, i'm not looking to have a discussion or start beef with anyone, especially not on a holiday. i just grow another stomach ulcer every time people on here get psychology so, so wrong. and i need to get this out or i'll explode.

that original original post is so annoying. why are you guys out there trying to one-up and gotcha your therapists. "why do all adults need therapy then?" they dont. they dont!!!! not all adults need therapy. what the fuck are you talking about.

the next one is also annoying. implying that any kid that "seems resilient" is simply repressing trauma to resurface later is so harmful?? what are you doing. some children are resilient!! it doesn't mean they'll never have problems, or never need therapy, or that they aren't still repressing something. even if a child seems resilient, yes of course it should still receive help. but acting like there is no resilience in children is going to just make people misinterpret actual resilient children and offer the wrong help. you'll end up digging for issues where there are none. assuming that every well-adjusted child is just repressing trauma and every adult needs therapy is a pointless doom mindset that helps nobody.

that FUCKING addition. first of all, that person sure seems to reblog from a lot of terfs. secondly, id love to see their sources. because, yes! there HAVE been a lot of studies on child resilience! and yes, if children receive social support after traumatic incidents, they come out more resilient than if they dont. thats.... not all though? what are you talking about, "ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS a result of the support they receive"?? its. its not. science doesnt work with "always," first of all. no serious study is going to claim that child resilience is "always" a result of support. we cant prove "always." nobody can. secondly, that is a GROSS SIMPLIFICATION of a VERY COMPLEX phenomenon, resilience. we still dont fully understand it. we have spent decades researching it, and we still dont think weve uncovered all factors that lead to child resilience. it is in fact still baffling to science just how resilient children can be, so i also honestly dont see why people are harping on a therapist for saying kids are resilient!! a big majority of them are!! and a big majority of children in fact receive social support!! most studies indicate that social support is in fact an important factor for resilience, but never the only one. if your parents dont support you, someone else might, or if your parents do support you, you still might grow up in the worst shithole in the world, and then sometimes you might come out resilient, sometimes you wont, and we dont know why. genetics could play a role. probably in some way they do, but we dont know how big a role it is. what im saying is, resilience can be the result of support kids receive, AMONG OTHER THINGS. i also dont understand what the fuck that person thinks they mean by "true resilience." resilience that isnt just ~hidden trauma~ i guess which apparently ~all adults~ have anyway.

ok. rant almost over. shit like this just gets me, because i know a lot of you are struggling, and i dont want you to get the wrong ideas about what did or didnt happen to you. some of you may have wonderful parents and youre still struggling and you dont feel resilient, and that doesnt necessarily mean that your parents did something horribly wrong. it may mean that something in your genes isnt working in your favor, or that every environmental factor was working against you and your parents.

or, an alternative that i personally find worse because i myself have struggled with it a lot: you may have horrible parents who didnt support you and you may still feel resilient. and if someone comes along and tells you that you can only be ~truly resilient~ if you had the social support, youll start wondering..... are you misremembering? were people supporting you, and youre being a monster by painting them as bad? are you maybe not resilient at all? are you really fucked up and are going to need therapy because all adults do?

you might. you might not. answers to these things are too complex for tumblr posts, and i certainly wouldnt trust people whose blogs are 50% terf reblogs and who claim that science has "proven" anything or that things are "always" a certain way. nothing ever is.

its shabbat and rosh hashanah so im going to only do the bare minimum here but since i was talking about sources earlier, i will say that if you'd like further reading on just how complex and undecided the research on resilience has been, i would point you, for example (there are so many sources), toward masten's papers "competence and resilience in development" (2006) and "resilience in developing systems" (2007), and sameroff & rosenblum's "psychosocial constraints on the development of resilience" (2006). peace and good night.

[magicboytrash]

MHA: Save Rock and Roll

So I had this MAGNIFICENT realization today. Save Rock and Roll (Fall Out Boy’s arguable best album) lines up with some of my favorite characters. So I’m going to break it down. More below page break!

The album starts off strong, with The Phoenix. 

This song deals with an absolute shit ton of fire imagery, which initially drew me to the Todoroki boys. However, the motif of changing, and rising up from the ashes reminded me of a certain... dusty man. The Phoenix in my opinion symbolizes Tomura Shigaraki. Shigaraki is incredibly impatient, always pushing forward to reach his goal, and feeling like things are stacked against him. This song perfectly encompasses this

Symbolic Lyrics:  One maniac at a time we will take it back You know time crawls on when you're waiting for the song to start

The next song is a more mellow tone, Young Volcanoes

I was super torn between two very drastically different characters for this one, but finally settled on Tamaki Amajiki. This song feels like a dying summer, almost melancholically happy. It’s a song thats not full of words, but more-so feeling. Tamaki is quiet, with a shy happiness, much like this song.

Symbolic Lyrics: C'mon, make it easy, say I never mattered Run it up the flag pole

Next in line is Alone Together

When I first heard alone together, I knew it would be for someone with a troubled past. I settled on someone who I feel genuinely seeks companionship while overcoming their past. Shoto Todoroki is exemplified in this song 110%. He trauma dumps to anyone who listens, and is overcoming his past with friend/companionship. 

Symbolic Lyrics:  But do you got room for one more troubled soul I don't know where I'm going, But I don't think I'm coming home

Fourth on the album is Light ‘Em Up

This song could very obviously be about Dabi, but it felt more like a character who is fundamentally flawed, but hides behind a facade. Dabi owns his flaws, where as Keigo Takami. The hero commission is fundamentally flawed, of which Keigo is aware. Yet he still shows loyalty to a fundamentally broken system. 

Symbolic Lyrics:  My childhood spat back the monster that you see

Next up is The Mighty Fall

I immediately knew this character would be one to view falling in love as showing vulnerability. Vulnerability for them would be very rare to be shown, and it would be someone whose bonds are near unbreakable. Obviously for this, I felt Katsuki Bakugou was perfect. He is a character who would absolutely view it as “the mighty falling” when he falls in love. 

Symbolic Lyrics:  They say I got screws missing, well hell, only when I'm missing you And, hell yeah, I'm addict, girl, addicted to you

My favorite song on the album, Just One Yesterday

This song immediately read to me as someone who wants what other people have, and views themselves in both a self-hatred and self-deity kind of way. Essentially, they’re at the corner of God Complex and I Hate Myself Avenue. I felt this song reflected Hitoshi Shinso. This song deals with both a feeling of yearning and a sense of determination.

Symbolic Lyrics:  I don't have the right name O-o-o-or the right looks But I have twice the heart Anything you say can and will be held against you So only say my name

The coolest music video on the album, Where Did the Party Go?

This song has dance party, and vibes written all over it. Therefore it goes to resident party animal, Denki Kaminari. Denki has very relaxed energy when it comes to relationships with people, and this song definitely embodies that, set to a dance-type beat.

Symbolic Lyrics:  My old aches become new again My old friends become ex's again, yeah Oh where did the party go?

Next up is Death Valley

This song feels like someone holding on regardless of the circumstances, no matter how stacked against them they are. Eijiro Kirishima refuses to give up, regardless of how badly he is hurt. Death Valley deals with the feeling of giving it your all, even if it won’t be enough. 

Symbolic Lyrics: I'm either gone in an instant Or here 'til the bitter end I, I never know

One of the most complex songs on the album, Rat-a-Tat

This song is a call to arms. It urges the rejects of society to get on their feet and respond. It’s also an anthem to people wishing for a world they belong in. For me, that is Touya Todoroki/Dabi. Touya longs to have been accepted by his father, yet he never was. There are so SO so many lyrics that make sense for this song to be Touya. 

Symbolic Lyrics:

1.  To get on St. Peter's list But you need to lower your standards 'Cause it's never Getting any better than this

2.  Remember me as I was not as I am

3.  I'm the lonelier version of you I just don't know where I went wrong

Getting closer to the end, we have Miss Missing You.

This song (especially with recent episodes/manga) is heartbreaking when applied to a very specific person. Shota Aizawa has so many people he will carry with him, in his heart and memories. This song feels like Aizawa sitting down with Class 1-A and being honest with them about the hero lifestyle, and that the heroes do not always win. Its heartbreaking when you look at it through this lense.

Symbolic Lyrics:  Sometimes before it gets better The darkness gets bigger The person that you'd take a bullet for, is behind the trigger Oh, we're fading fast

The titular and final song on the album is Save Rock and Roll

One listen to this song and it becomes apparent that it is a hero who will defend his beliefs to the hilt. For us, that is Izuku Midoriya. Izuku understands the flaws of both sides of the coin, and has chosen to become a symbol of peace that truly everyone can unite behind. Save Rock and Roll deals with the resentment heroes feel towards those who helped put them in their positions of power, and their resentment of society for needing to be saved. Yet Izuku (and the protagonist of the song) still answer the call to heroism. They follow what is truly right.

Symbolic Lyrics:  Well, how'd it get to be only me (me, me, me, me)? Like I'm the last damn kid still kicking that still believes I will defend the faith

[myuntoldstory]

saeran after end after thought

it took me a ducking month and some change because i had to farm hourglasses. when i started playing i kept getting the bad ends and i got so frustrated i didn’t touch the app for two weeks. i had to consult a guide to finally reach the end.

i wanted to play this because i needed to see where jihyun ended up and... well... we all know what happened there. anyway...

i have many thoughts and feelings about this ae. i don’t know if i can ever properly organise them, but i’ll put it in bullet points for now. this is my personal feelings, not any kind of fact. i have nothing against nearly anything and anyone (character or real) involved in this game. i’ll always love and appreciate them for being in this game, for creating this game, for giving us something to love for the past four or five years.

these thoughts are rather unfiltered. this is me coming out hours after finishing the ae. i might change my mind after letting it marinate for a while and after reading up some more about it.

it’s all under the cut. it’s long and rambling. there’s no need to read this, really; the ae is a month old after all, but i just needed to get this out. also, it’s salty as hell. literally saltier than the dead sea. it will dehydrate you... best to not bother with this.

also spoilers.

1. during the first playthrough the game mechanics were wonderful, novel, and immersive. but years later and for the sake of an ae? unnecessary. it’s too long. it’s too much work. i did my due when i played the game during ray’s route. why do i also have to work for something that should have been my reward? why do i still have to worry about hearts, choices, and game branches? why do i have to go through multiple endings? it’s an after end. it’s after the ending.

of course i love new content, i love more content, but not like this. and i know i sound super entitled. if i was impatient i should have justt read the wiki, but i wanted the experience, but not this specific experience. lucky it’s the pandemic and i have more time on my hands, but in normal circumstances my life is very different from what it was in 2016. i can’t be waiting for chats and making plans around it to get to the after ending. honestly i expected something like the secret ends or even similar to the style of jihyun’s ae... but no. apparently, chertiz thinks it’s fun to make us spend three and a half days to reach an AFTER END.

2. saeran choi needs love... but, in my opinion, not ours. not mc’s. the love he needs is his brother’s. the person he needs most is saeyoung choi. he’s suffered so much, endured many things no person should ever endure. of course he deserves romantic love, but i feel like he needed to recover first. that’s why after all this im firmly in the very bare, maybe even empty camp of preferring secret end saeran choi over ray route saeran choi.

3. never in my life has a game made me exhausted about the act of forgiveness. i feel a little sick. it’s terrible to say that, i know, but i am just so emotionally exhausted. there is this heavy feeling in my chest that makes me want to cry because i feel like i somehow destroyed a part of myself?

first it’s the saviour in jihyun’s ae. it’s still her in this ae. but in addition to that there’s also the prime minister? when does it stop? at this point we might as well forgive the twins’ mother too. she imprisoned her own sons to benefit from their father; beat the shit out of and starved saeran to the point that he wanted to die, but there must be a reason behind it, right? like all the villains in this game her choices are not her own; they are the product of their circumstances and we have to understand that.

i just... i understand what cheritz is trying to convey here. and granted saeyoung is not as forgiving, but this isn’t his story. it felt like the forgiveness was nearing some extreme by the end of it. i don’t think there’s anything wrong if you’e unable to forgive. if the only way for you to move forward is to not do so i feel that’s valid. as long as you’re not hurting anyone and that you’re not hurting yourself, you do whatever you need to recover. forgiving is not the only way, the noble way. not everyone’s backstory you have to understand and take into consideration in order to move on. even if they realise what they did was wrong, it’s okay not to forgive. sometimes that’s what we need to take care of ourselves.

im rambling on this point, but im going through this currently. it’s not as extreme as the choi twins or the rfa, but all my life i’ve been forgiving and understanding and it chipped away at me. even at my expense i forgave everything and it landed me in a place im struggling to get out of. i needed justice and this ae didn’t give me a bit of that... at least not in the way i needed.

4. cheritz said this is the grand finale, but... it didn’t feel like it? again this is me being entitled, but i expected something more. something bigger. something poignant because after this mystic messenger is over. i expected some kind of epilogues in the form of story modes. of course i appreciate everything the company has done, especially the efforts of the writers, artists, voice actors, and everyone, but... it’s so rushed? it such a short farewell that instead of getting catharsis and satisfaction i felt... drained. and i feel sad that it’s all over because im not ready to say goodbye and that goodbye is far too short for me.

i don’t know im just sad it’s all over.

also, the conclusion they come to is the dissolution of the rfa once everyone found their happy ending. i... this is a group that has been through some shit and that doesn’t make them closer somehow? the rfa app lies neglected and abandoned as everyone moves on with their lives? that is so... lonely? at least for me.

i mean, of course, not all endings have to be necessarily happy in the “everyone gets together once a week for dinners” kind, but i just... i dont know i expected them to be closer somehow. maybe they are. maybe outside the app they’re all closer, but... i don’t know. i feel sad they’re abandoning the app.

5. and then there’s kim jihyun.

and im... i dont know anymore. if you know me, follow me, or have read any of my fics you know im a jihyun fan. i love that man and YES i know his sins. we all do.

as i played the ae i started to hope that he’d die in the end instead of suffering through this egregious character assassination. yes, i literally preferred that he died and that i go through that pain instead of suffering whatever this is. obviously i dont want him to die, but this is like killing him anyway. they killed the essence of him, who he is as a person. hell, they probably killed him already and just installed a stranger in the ae because that v is not our v. all throughout the game he’s been kind and compassionate and selfless. his whole thing is about protecting the rfa, the mc, saving the saviour, and sacrificing himself for them. this is the idiot who gives you his hearts when you’re being actively nice to his abuser and saeran in his route. his ultimate happy ending involves everyone being happy, reunited, and given the proper mental care. he went away for two years, putting a much needed pause in your budding relationship, not only to recover from his trauma, but also to rescue saeran and help him recover too.

yes, v enabled the saviour even before another story. he lied. he put everyone in danger. he’s reckless and he keeps secrets way more than what’s natural. but he will never let any of them come to harm. my memory is fuzzy but im sure he never lets the rfa get in danger. he was devastated when yoosung got injured. he also tried to rescue seven and mc in the secret ends thats why he got shot. this guy always looks out for everyone. 

in what world is he okay with drugging the twins? making deals with the villains? the idea of trapping the twins in the saviour’s delusional, twisted family life? he’s not the type to be okay just standing there when his best friend’s life is falling apart or for even causing it. when zen, jaehee, and yoosung get backed into the corner he wouldn’t have been just idle. but in this ae all he does is play stacking chairs, buy strawberry yoghurt, and echo the saviour’s words like a puppet. he asks only mc to save herself and like... jesus christ he never gets a break. he doesn’t even get the same gesture of forgiveness everyone and their father gets. he goes through a trial and jail, which is fair enough, but he’s also a victim of abuse and suffering and despair and mental illness. but somehow because it’s v it’s okay that this is all he gets. somehow he doesn’t deserve any compassionate resolution.

literally the only time he’s happy is his route and after end and even then that happiness is not his own. even then there were concessions to be made before he could get it.

seriously. it seems like cheritz hates him. they think little to nothing of him. if that’s the case why even make content for him? he’s not even meant to be romanceable in the original stories. they could’ve just ignored the petitions and left him as a side character. i mean, i dont know if i prefer that honestly, i do appreciate the content we got, but as his fan it hurts to see all this half-hearted decisions. and to see all this hate still pouring out for him, now magnified because of this ae.

this is like a tiring odyssey, starting way back when he got shot and killed all because he loved someone. he loved the wrong person and it’s the wrong kind of love and he committed his crimes because of it. he had a hand in making the rfa and mc suffer, but still all he did was love. and i know that sounds blind and naive and ignorant and im sorry for not picking up the nuances of his relationship with the saviour, but that’s all i saw. i saw a guy loving the wrong person and it made him make all the wrong choices leading to a bad life.

gah. i am drained people. i am drained, and frustrated, and tired.

[shyrose57]

2: I will figure it out eventually and that's a promise.

3: Watson is aboustely heart broken and near tears multiple times as well hearing Ran in so much distress and actually crying. Jackie does cry, he attempts multiple times to hug Ran and make it known he's there to comfort him, but it only works sometimes, and when it doesn't work Ran gets scared and tries to get away believing an attacker has gotten him. Grievous is almost like silently grieving, knowing he can't do anything to help his close friend. Cletus feels bad, and since he isnt too good with emotions, focuses on instead attempting to cheer everyone else up. Isaac and Benjamin feel awful as they feel at fault for letting it happen, so to hopefully help they make plans on how to make Ran as comfortable and safe as can be while also getting him to a nearby town they heard about to hopefully reverse it. Charles is doing his damn best to comfort Ran while also distracting him from his own thoughts, which mostly means Charles (and Watson) play the role of story teller for a while. Ranbob is the hardest hit by it, he's suffering so much because he so badly just wants to go over and hug his little brother and comfort him, tell him that it'll all be ok and that Bobby would protect him. But also knows he can't because he knows that would most likely do nothing but make it worse. For a while he spends his time blocking his ears and wrapped in a comfort blanket trying to comfort himself, as everyone else tend to his suffering brother. One thing that makes it harder is that Ran begins to purr to himself in a vain attempt to comfort himself (cause I personally like to think Enderman hybrids are like cats and purr like them, when their happy, content, comfortable, but also to soothe themselves and heal wounds), when Ranbob knows Ran's never purred, so knowing he's so desperate to try it now hurts him. 

You will get some comfort, like Watson manages to convince Ranbob to at least hug Ran, and Ranbob manages to purr alongside Ran a bit, which does actually help to calm Ran down. Ran getting wrapped up with the fluffiest blanket they have and always having Watson, Jackie, or Grievous by his side. With Jackie tending to hold his hand. 

4: All of the above. Sudden touch can be overwhelming to Ranbob at times, especially when he's not doing well mentally. Also while in this state, touch reminds him of the desperate grabbing and touching of the people he killed that tried to escape or fend him off. And Dream was able to hurt Ranbob by starving and dehydrating him of course, but when Ranbob was being particularly disobedient and tried to fight back Dream would often take control and cut or stab Ranbob then gave back control as punishment. 

10: It does get better! Idk if I already said but Kelalen is actually where they get the antidote for Rans blindness potion! And when their given it for free and it works, they become very grateful to Adler and Lucia (the one who actually convinced Adler to give them the potion in the first place cause it was the only one left). And a few days after they arrive they actually decide to explore the town, where they meet Siren and get more information on Dream and who he was, they also get their weapons and armor repaired by them. But while talking with Siren, Cletus and Grievous sneak off and run into Atlas, then Cletus and Grievous agree to help Atlas with his prank. But by the end of their second week in Kelalen the group starts to truly enjoy their stay, Ranbob often saying how it kind of reminds him of Mizu before everything happened. 

12: Thats funny though and is exactly how I'd want to be seen.

13: *CLAPS HANDS* OH BOY DO I HAVE NEWS FOR YOU. I RECENTLY TOLD MY FRIEND ABOUT RANBOB SEEING HIS DEAD FRIENDS AND FAMILY BUT FAILED TO TELL THEM IT WASNT ACTUALLY PART OF THE STORY. SO THEY TOOK IT LITTERALY AND THEY HAVE GIVEN ME IDEAS, WHILE ALSO HELPING ME REALIZE THAT THIS COULD ACTUALLY BE USED TO SET UP FOR RANBOB MOVING PAST HIS TRAUMAS AND CAN LEAD TO MORE FLUFF AND ANGST. SO NOW IT IS PART OF THE STORY, WITH CHANGES THAT IT HAPPENED DURING A DREAM AND HE DIDNT BELIEVE IT AND CONSIDERED IT A CRUEL JOKE BY FATE ITSELF AT FIRST. AND YES BY AT FIRST I MEAN THIS HAPPENS MANY MORE TIMES.

Also my friend has a message for you, "HahA THEY BETTER THANK ME I SET THEM UP FOR MORE MISERY 😈😈 /j" (I wanna be safe so if you don't know /j means that their joking)

14: Im not doing Foolish and Dream brothers because I personally don't like/get it. But I was thinking maybe they meet Foolish after Mripat tells them that there was a member of the SMP who was said to be a god and immortal. And after some long conversations they decide to go hunt for this apparently immortal god. Which takes a while since no one actually knows where he is, just that he likes deserts, and have to go off possible sightings or hints in history books. And when they finally meet him they manage to learn about totems (which they previously didn't know about) and even get some. They also learn that infact even during the SMP time no one quite knew what Dream was, and learns the ways the SMP tried to permanently get rid of him. Foolish is also devastated to know that Dream infact survived and becomes determined to help them. Even offering his help that if they ever go back to Mizu to face Dream, he'll come along and help in anyway he can. 

15: I like to imagine Edward remembers Ranboo as the young troubled enderman that he basically adopted and took care of. So Edward sees Ranboo in both Ran and Ranbob, so he offers his help and advice. Basically becoming their Grandad, telling stories about everything he's seen. Especially about Ranboo because Ranbob is so curious about his ancestor he just cant help but ask. One convo I've been particularly thinking about goes something like, "Edward: Older one, what do you think your brother thinks about you? Ranbob: I..I think he doesnt like me, and that he wants me gone. Edward: Hmm, your wrong. Ranbob: What? Edward: When I look at Ran, I see a child, not an adult yet, scarred, scared and traumatized. A child that wishes you two were closer, that he could forgive you and wants to believe you, just so you two could be family again. But is afraid too, for he already has a family, that he is terrified of losing, and is scared if he attempts to trust you again that they may leave him. But make no mistake, your brother wants to make amends, your brother cares about you and wants you happy. He knows deep down that he can trust you, and that you are innocent, but you all must help him acknowledge those parts, and stand by him, helping him walk when needed, as he traverses his own nightmares." AKA I really want Edward to be the reason Ranbob realizes that Ran does want to be family again but needs help. Cause if I had to describe the brothers current positions with their trauma it'll be, Ranbob-Knows he has trauma and is trying to get better and live with it, willingly getting help. Ran-Is fucking drowning in trauma cause he refuses to acknowledge he has it and hides it well most of the time, also doesn't ask for help. 

2: I fear the day.

3: Hahaha, ow, ow, ow. That, overall, is...heartbreaking. At the same time though, it’s sweet to see everyone pitching in to do their best and help him. We got it with Ranbob, now we get it with Ran.

I am curious, though. From what you’ve said, Blindness potions don’t wear off immediately? Why’s that?

4: *Chants* Please punch Dream. Please punch Dream. Please punch Dream. How do the fishermen deal with this, and help Ranbob?

10: Oh, god, Ran’s blind when they arrive in town. That’s definitely a high tension situation. Not only have you got him out of commission, but everyone else high strung from it, and probably having their protective instincts in overdrive when they randomly get treated hostilely. What exactly does an antidote for blindness consist of? Do most potions have antidotes, or counters? Is milk no longer used, or is that not a thing in the AU? It does sound nice that they all end up making friends later on though. How does Ran adjust to having his sight back? And, y’know, having everyone see him like that, and his brother comfort him(if they aren’t on good terms at this point, the timeline’s confusing me a bit)

12: Throughout this conversation, every time I read something sad, the image struck me, and honestly, it’s what you deserve. If these keeps up, I’m gonna start inserting these little 🏹s every time you hurt my heart. 

13: I’m being conspired against. Does everyone see this? Brothers Anon and their friend are conspiring to break my heart. Such gremlins. What did I ever do to you two?

Also, you can tell your friend that from this point on, I will closely associate them with a tiny, purple, cackling imp. 

14: Huh. Why do they want to find Foolish? Curiosity? To learn more about the Smp? About Dream? Sounds like it has a lot of potential to be quite the interesting encounter. And, since they didn’t previously know about the totems, they probably wouldn’t notice if one activated in a certain situation where it’s popped...do with that what you will.

15: Anon, I love all of this. Tell me more about Grandpa Edward. Does he fondly look back to Ranboo being polite and quiet while Ranbob and Ran cause havoc in the background? Does he bake them snacks and tell them about Ranboo’s adventures, and how much he loved to mine-which, in hindsight, is kind of funny, considering you just mentioned that so few people follow Skeppy because of the mining, but apparently their ancestor did that thing for fun.

[b0ttl3d-up-st4rs]

Well I'm gonna do what I do best and self reflect to an insane amount. This is probably gonna be a long post so buckle up.

To be honest my behavior for nearly the past year now is concerning to say the least. There's this little voice in my head that just desperately wants to get more and more hurt, more and more traumatized. Why is that? At first glance the negative approach could be to say its some sort of masochistic behavior and any negative repercussions as a result of this behavior is deserved, but I don't really think thats the case.

Self sabotage is a characteristic that can be exhibited in many mentally ill people and I am no exception. I think this behavior, of seeking to be hurt by grown men on the internet is partially self sabotage.

And I remember when I first started this shit show, I just wanted attention. Sounds mean to say, but craving attention is something the human soul desperately wants. And I was starting to feel some sense of self beauty but I didn't feel as though anyone around me was appreciating it so I tried to get attention from grown men because being showered in compliments and attention felt so good when my whole life I've never gotten any of that.

I think there's more too it, though. Looking back my whole life it's almost as if I've wanted to get hurt. In books I liked to sit around with the pain the characters felt. And its almost like I wanted to get traumatized. I've heard that people with trauma that they don't acknowledge is trauma or think its bad enough to be traumatizing seek put worse forms of trauma, in order to feel that pain is valid. And I think that's part of my issue too.

I do have unaddressed and repressed childhood trauma. I was given unrestricted internet at a young age and was exposed to the horrors of the internet. Nothing like straight up porn, but a lot of suggestive content. And in general being exposed to that caused me a lot of catholic guilt as I was raised catholic. I remember feeling like knowing these things were my fault. Many days I felt so guilty that I would pray to god to let me not wake up in the morning.

As a child I also questioned my religion a lot, which i think was traumatic in itself. Religion is a big thing. And as a kid I had a big issue knowing reality from fiction. Heck I still do. I remember as a kid my friend telling me that we were all demigods and one day we were going to run away to camp half blood. That the percy jackson books were real. It sounds stupid now, but I processed that as real and it was so stressful for me.

And I remember being 12 coming out as trans and as a part of the lgbtq community to my parents. They didnt react well. They said I was confused. My mom said I was both too young and too old to know. I fought a lot with my mom. And in general have a lot of unhappy memories from then. I was outed multiple times in my life.

My relationship with my parents still isnt good. My mom has a tendency to be toxic. I hate that I have to stay in the closet around my family its so painful. Like a month ago I mentioned the lgbtq community for the first time in years, asking my mom her opinions on it and if it changed since 2017, and it turned into her yelling at me and making herself a victim. It really hurt. I forgot how much it hurt.

I don't really have much of a relationship with my dad. We barely talk. Hes very emotionally distant. When I'm at my dad's house I sort of fend for myself. Its the exact opposite at my moms house. She's overbearing and never leaves you alone. It's like going between to extremes.

And honestly I can't wait to move out. My mom and I have arguments a lot. But hey at least I have some relationship with her, I don't really have a relationship with my dad.

I remember one time this year, I was during the end of a school semester. I needed to catch up on work because after talking to my abuser for like 5 months and then unlocking him I was left in shambles and fell into a really bad depression to where my motivation for school just disapeared. Im still dealing with that tbh. Anyways I had to go to a online meeting to choose my classes and I didn't get to choose the classes I thought I would be able to, and that made me really upset. But after the meeting I had to go to do am act of kindness (I chose picking up litter at a graveyard cause i like graveyards) for my school project but I was still distraught. If I was given some time to myself I probably wouldve been able to go without issue, but my mom wanted to go immediately. We argued. And when I got there I refused to leave the car because I felt so much like shit. We argued more. It was the worst argument I ever had. She even swore at me. Which she's never done before. And she ended up playing victim again. She does that a lot I guess. And doesn't really listen to my feelings. Whenever I try to communicate about my feelings with her it turns into an argument and she makes it about herself. So yeah our relationship isn't the greatest. And I think having mommy and daddy issues is a trauma in itself. Ppl deserve to have happy healthy supportive families.

Oh right and another trauma I completely forgot (funny how that happens) is when I was 14 and admitted to a mental hospital because I tried to off myself. It was so surreal and they forced me to learn how to make eye contact with people cause apparently thats "how they know im doing ok". Which is kinda fucked considering the fact I recently realized I might be autistic. And eye contact is literally so painful for me. It especially was back then. Anyways the place itself wasnt too bad but the feeling of being trapped overall sucks and being disconnected from the rest of the world isnt fun either. Also I dissociate all the time but I especially dissociated hard thru the whole experience. And sort of made myself into the perfect patient, repeating all their bs and literally lying to myself to convince myself that I was ok so they would let me go. So that was kind of weird.

Anyways I know I have it better than others. And honestly sometimes it's hard to tell what exactly was traumatic in my childhood. I probably forgot and repressed other parts of it too and am forgetting things. But needless to say these unaddressed traumas didn't help my mental state. And i do think that's a big part of the voice in my head begging me to just get hurt more.

Overall my mental state is fucked, It's been really hard for me not to be taken advantage of by another internet pedo. Heck the only reason that isn't happening rn is because no ones dmed me yet. Also I unblocked my old abuser and we are talking again now so thats fun. It definitely doesnt help the cognitive dissonance in my brain of him being actually a nice and supportive dude. I think thats also a part of me wanting to get more traumatized. Since my abuser is a nice person that should counteract all the fucked up sexual things he said to me in the past right? I mean others have it worse, had worse abusers that were actively cruel. That's part of the bitch in my subconscious brain talking. It sucks tbh.

Anyways yeah I probably need therapy but I don't feel comfortable talking about this to my current counselor and honestly its really hard to say out loud. I can talk forever about it by writing it down but the moment I speak words from my dumbass mouth I break down in tears and can't do it. Plus idk, I'm scared if I say anything she'll have to tell my parents and that my phone might be taken away or I'll have less privacy and for a closeted queer where my only current life line is the internet and my online friends: that is a terrifying idea. Idk. I'm fucked basically.

[diazpoems]

Me watching Riverdale S2:

THE WAY KEVIN IS RAISING HIS HAND TO THE MOTHERFUCKING SKY WHEN HIRAM ASKS FOR A VOLUNTEER FOR A WRESTLING DEMONSTRATION. THIS THIRSTY MOTHERFUCKER. HIS FACE IS PRICELESS.

I wish I could just jump into Riverdale and shake the characters and be like

Cheryl: Your parents fucking suck

Josie: Your parents fucking suck

Veronica: Your parents fucking suck

Betty: Your parents fucking suck

Archie: Your dads okay so far, I don’t know about your mom

Jughead: Your dad used to fucking suck but as a person, at his core, I don’t think he’s evil, and he’s getting better, but he’s got a ways to learn. I don’t know about your mom

Kevin: Your dad’s decent so far? Don’t know about your mom

Like especially Josie because I know it’s hard and that a lot of the trauma her mom felt probably manifested itself badly and Josie probably feels attached to her mom and like she owes her being a good daughter because her mom’s had it bad but like I also DON’T CARE. FUCKING TREAT YOUR CHILD RIGHT. I DON’T GIVE A SHIT WHAT HAPPENED. THATS YOUR CHILD. WOMAN UP AND BE A FUCKING DECENT PERSON. I DON’T CARE THAT YOU PUT A ROOF OVER HER HEAD, FOOD IN HER MOUTH, GAVE HER A SINGING CAREER (But continue to control it and not give her leeway to think and act on her own). SHE DON’T OWE YOU SHIT. FUCK OFF WITH YOUR WEIRD LIFE-FUCKING-SUCKED-FOR-ME-BUT-IM-ALSO-A-CLASSIST-BITCH PARADOX. MY DAD’S GOT IT MADE RIGHT NOW BUT HE HASN’T FORGOTTEN HIS ROOTS, HASN’T FORGOTTEN THE DISCRIMINATION HE FACED AND THE FACT THAT HE GREW UP SHIT POOR EARLY ON AND HE HASN’T DECIDED “Hey, let’s ridicule people for being in a similar position that I was in!”

Basically, this is me begging for for Josie’s mom to ✨fucking do better✨

Anyways yeah normalize Riverdale characters disowning their own parents ✌🏽🥰

Hmmm. If I wasn’t completely and utterly for the Serpents before, the white serpents learning to shut the fuck up and stand with Toni and her grandfather in opposition of the genocide and colonialism that was perpetrated by Cheryl’s great great grandfather? Hell fucking yeah

Dude I’m sorta crying at the scene with Hiram seeing Veronica in her confirmation dress because he’s a piece of shit but this is how it goes down, like it’s a whole thing

I love that I immediately knew the meaning of “Catholic chic”. Apparently that’s all going to church every Sunday for the formative years of my life accomplished

I hope Penelope Blossom dies in a fire :)

OH MY GOD, LOVE SIMON CAME OUT RIGHT AROUND HERE, KEVIN IS ASKING MOOSE TO IT, MY COMFORT MOVIE OH MY GOD-

Ugh, I don’t trust Midge. Something about the tropey-ness of her being The Girlfriend™️ and her face, as well as the fact that she played Gen in tatbilb, something doesn’t sit right. The haircut feels too manic pixie, like she’s hiding something. Bad vibes

NOOO CHERYL ILL GO ON A VACATION WITH YOU 😭 GOD IM SO GONE FOR HER

Aaaaand she did some fuck shit. Aaaand Toni is pretty. Aaaand there’s the internalized homophobia.

Jughead saying that growing up Betty’s and Archie’s windows being parallel always bothered him sounds more like a jarchie admission than a bughead one, I’m just sayin’

BETTY AND JUGHEAD’S REACTIONS WHEN THEY HEAR THE BED SQUEAKING IS ME. Like the little amused but lowkey confused and baffled expression on his face as he’s like “is that their solution to everything? Can’t they ever just talk?” Like no apparently not. Me too Jug, me too-

Idk Vee, maybe he’s asking questions about your father’s line of work and the business of his associates because your dad and mom are fucking evil

What the fuck Veronica. I mean yay because that just gets us closer to Jarchie kiss but like what the fuck Vee. Also Jughead is super cute, like why does the blue eyes black hair thing absolutely melt my weak heart, like I didn’t choose to fall for this pasty ass white boy but here we are. Also Veronica’s eyes are really big and dark and pretty like girl help im falling for these two-

BETTY LITERALLY POINTED IT OUT, C’MON NOW CW, I KNOW WE’VE MADE THE MISTAKE OF GROVELING WITH SPN BUT PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU WE NEED A JARCHIE KISS-

CAN HETEROSEXUALS PLEASE STOP FUCKING ALL THE TIME ON TV. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO SHOVE YOUR STRAIGHTNESS IN MY FACE. NOT EVERYONE IS STRAIGHT YOU KNOW.

“Entertain Jughead” 😏

DUDE. They were sitting ALONE. TOGETHER. In the WOODS. With them being the ONLY ones who haven’t kissed. DUDE.

C’MON MAN, THEY’RE STARING FUCKING LONGINGLY AT EACH OTHER

If there are weird gay ships for straights then Jeronica is the weird straight ship for gays

Ok so is there a legitimate reason why Veronica is faithful to her parents and defends them to a tee and partakes in their mob shit or is she just daddy’s little fucking girl. Like it isn’t her fault that she’s been manipulated but it pisses me the fuck off. And people who want her to stay with her parents because supposedly they’re the only ones who love her even though it’s toxic and warped? Like do you have a brain?

Archie and Veronica really love supporting gentrification, classism, and Vee’s rich daddy and mommy’s innocence huh

Look i actually agree with Reggie for once, get Hiram’s ass, deal with it Veronica

Wow, nice, shaming Jug for eating. That’s cool, Arch. That’s awesome. And no Betty, she doesn’t have everybody’s vote. Because Veronica’s parents are motherfuckers and when it comes to choosing between a murderer/abuser/rich/classist/gentrifying fuck and supporting your bestie uwu guess which one im fucking picking. Also, THANK YOU JUG for explaining to your friend that even though he lives in a fantasy land where northside Riverdale is the only one worth referring to when talking about Riverdale at all and thus the only one that matters and is worth protecting, the southside exists and people live and have grown up in the southside and building a prison there where it will be even more easy to profile and incarcerate southside residents under false or exaggerated pretenses ISN’T A GOOD THING. That his own friend isn’t quite apart of his and Veronica’s and Betty’s socioeconomic caste and that he’s not going to pretend like he is, he isn’t going to be quiet about it just because you’re friends again. That he’s not going to lay down and let Archie explain what a good move for Riverdale is when he clearly means northside riverdale, let him explain how the southside needs to be dealt with to someone who grew up on the southside and knows it more (not the most, I’m not saying Jug isn’t out of his depth with certain aspects of being a full southsider) intricately than him. LIKE FUCK. ARCHIE. WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE TALKING TO. Like he just doesn’t get why building prisons and stereotyping and condemning all southsiders and gentrifying entire neighborhoods is really fucking bad and a big deal and it annoys me so much. Like yeah Arch, obviously you don’t see the big deal because it doesn’t affect you and you delude yourself that it doesn’t affect your friend either, but it actually is that bad.

In conclusion, Archie and Veronica and sometimes Betty are giving me headaches rn. Like I’m not saying Jughead is perfect at all but in this particular instance he’s the only one I agree with for the most part right now.

Yeah Arch, you see things differently because you’re not the one who’s on the receiving end of the problem

YES MOMMA ANDREWS. SNAP! GO FERAL! SHOW THAT SOB SOME CONSEQUENCES!

Ah, so this is the jarchie “break-up” scene. You know what. I feel no heartbreak. Get his ass Jug.

Get. His. Ass.

They sent Cheryl to a conversion institution. I’m literally crying. This isn’t an exaggeration. I feel like I want to cry. Just. God fucking damn it.

SHE DOESN’T WANT TO GET BETTER. SHE’S NOT SICK. YOU ARE. DIE. FUCKING DIE. BURN IN HELL. AND PENELOPE BLOSSOM TOO.

“That’s not how things go in Riverdale” is a veiled way of saying “don’t challenge the upper class and don’t try to stifle gentrification,” I hope you all know

[savnofilter]

answering all anonymous asks

i have a lot of mixed opinions and stuff so i just compiled them into one post. the public ones i will be posting separately, simply because i feel they are different. all responses are under the cut!

tw: mentions of pedophilia and gore.

i am and thank you!! i havent really eaten since tuesday but ive trying to keep my fluids up. i hope you are doing okay as well, anon!

~ i learned about puberty when i was 6 only because my sisters had already learnt it (ages 8). the educational sites used were always catered to helping the youth learn about periods, puberty, and everything that comes along with it. once i was at age 8, i also had access to the sites as well.

~ the idea of sex was brought around to me around 8. at 9 i had an experience but i will not get into it since it’s still slightly traumatic for me. other than having a negative experience with it, i yet again already had an understanding because of my older sister’s and i’s class experiences to have a grasp of it.

i would also like to add that my parent were never prudes. bringing up this point, disclaimer that they havent done anything weird to me or my sister. once i was 11 (in 6th grade), i was learning about sex and reproduction. my mother has always told me if i had any questions about that type of stuff, that i should never be afraid to ask. 

if she felt anything was too explicit she would tell me that i didnt have to learn about that right now and that when i am older she would be receptive responding. i honestly think the hate stems from the fact that they dont get dicked down well enough from their own bfs that they have to write the pent up frustration on minor characters.

i mean with the cult running around, yes it is. if you are not in a close circle or have an established following, you will have a much harder time getting your stuff out there. its not impossible but it is much definitely more difficult to start up. 

if you need help with getting your work out there i am more than welcome in trying to help you out tho!

THANK. YOU. someone had to fucking say it, couldnt be me since they refuse to listen to me. do you know how predatory in itself trying to control what minors of the same age doing together???? the only time i can see minors getting “arrested” unless it was public indecency. also why are you an adult knowing about 14 y.os getting arrested for sexual intercourse? 🤡

it definitely is safe. the people most active are teenagers so do not feel afraid. if there are any concerns please come to me since i am the original and head of the server.

!!! exactly. her sorry ass callout post about my age and followers LOL. “sorry i have more notes than you” i- i had to laugh. i think its so funny because if this was about followers i wouldve done this earlier, not when i hit 5,000 followers. 

^ this. all it took was a gabby hannah callout post about my age cnckjsvd couldnt be me. these people preach about keeping kids safe, the kids of the fandom speak up about an abuse and toxicity problem and suddenly we’re ruining the fandom? pick one or the other pls. 🤡

i just honestly find it concerning that theyre thirsting over a character thats um.... HALF YOUR AGE. fake or not its weird asf. its really not your place to say people shouldnt be uncomfortable because you write them “aged 18+” and the most you age them up to is 18 and still write them in U.A. i dont really understand why its such a hard concept to understand.

i just think its concerning that the same people who think i have no sexual awareness have no problem writing characters my age and the only version that theyre aged up is in their fics.

theres something wrong in this equation here.... 😗

lmao these adults have no problem giving people trauma. and yes, yes, and yes. we arent saying that there is a problem aging them up, its how you do it. its really the fact that theyre aging them up and having them at the dorms and aizawa is still somehow, their homeroom teacher? please make it make sense.

if youre especially going to age up someone and youre about 22+, your excuse is that, “their fake so it shouldnt be a problem” is predatory in all the wrong kind of ways. 

^ they hate to see it. but once again they did make this an age thing,,, obviously they only learned about sex when they hit 18, and i have hacked the system and infiltrated adult territory. 🤡

right. people are like 16 y.os cant have sex -- no its in place so adults like you dont think you can fuck them any younger. thats all i have to say. but no, im fifteen, i dont have a brain or any sense of the world. no h*rny card for me.

💀 imagine being old enough to understand that stuff can be triggering and no human should even be saying that... getting those shane dawson gore fantasies here.

“no one is mad at you for writing smut. adults are mad because youre writing smut”

your adults arent mentally sound and this is why im making this post. ❤️

lmao i am okay!! ive been having phantom nerve pain where my knuckles are because of that ask though and i had a gore dream. : ) i spoke clearly and properly, when i took them as a joke (yknow being the clowns that they are), they got mad! 1/10, would not recommend a conversation! apparently shes more mature about me but her last post was about riding a teenager’s forehead cnjk vdfd COULD NOT BE ME. she choose to ignore all the other claims and it shows~ 🍵

i dont really mind, ive been wanting to talk about my age on this blog for a really long time since last but sometimes things come sooner than later. even if you dont support my work, i still thank you for supporting me as a person!

RIGHT?! im just really concerned that there are adults who understand that there are moral issues here and some dont. this is why im making a post on a select few and not the whole adult community. thank you for coming to my TED talk. 

LMFAO but they dont see it?! 😂 i think me writing about characters my own age is much better than someone who has 10+ years, or better yet, MORE THAN HALF THEIR AGE writing about them. you had your hormones suppressed, doesnt mean mine should as well. 💓

personally, if i was an adult and i made a callout post on someone’s age, i would put a disclaimer to not bully the minors in question,,, just putting out there. your mature and respectful queen is doing magic. 🥰

^ and let me make it clear, after the point of time i realized that following was 18+ blogs was bad, i stopped following them. and even now im sifting through and unfollowing all of them. yes, i do have a brain at fifteen and can think. i know its a foreign concept for some people. 😳

no no no, its okay! i lied about being an adult so this all my fault. :D just think its concerning someone so easily can say one thing and everyone can follow. real cult behaviour and shes the leader. been thinking about making a mean girls poster and sticking her pfp on regina, but even regina had redemption and realized she had work to do. : ) 

lmao these people have said, “i started reading/writing smut when i was 11-13 but i realized how wrong it was and stopped” so how does it differ from me? you dont magically get good at 18. dont be a hypocrite.

even adults themselves are afraid to speak up. all it took was a shitty post for them to ignore the whole story. these people ignore all the abuse, therapy, toxicity, pedophilia (umbrella term) and everything else that she and her friends are being brought to light about. it shows how much of a blind eye that people have.

this is not a tati situation, i will not go back on my words.

this is understandable. this is even past the age, and this me repeating myself once again. i wasnt even the one who said i was groomed i- its people who were in your, space. think about that.

it really is. and what makes it more concerning that the same people who preach this will talk about how they want to, “beat us the fuck up” or rip our fingers for showing out concern for the vagueness of aged up in fics sometimes.

i even stated that its not everyone who does this but no one will listen.

[dolphin-enthusiast]

bună seara, dragă mea 🌹🌜✨ ahh i hope i wrote that correctly,, another romanian friend of mine taught me that haha, he teaches me romanian phrases in exchange for me teaching him bits of italian ☀ ah, so much to address no? well, i'll just start off by saying i wasn't expecting my friend to expose my problems like that,, i'm not mad at all, just surprised. let me first say that i am okay as of writing this. i have eaten and hydrated and have been taking naps all day, i am stable. (1/9)

"my older brother and other siblings have been taking good care of me, and two of my friends came to sneak me out of the house for a bit and bought me food. so i am fairly calm right now (2/9)

now then, about that person, it was just some texts i woke up to that caught me off guard, my friends are apparently planning to go after this person, even though i insisted on not making this a big deal, and frankly i didn't wanna worry you all either, i feel bad when i do. (3/9)

sadly i hear a lot of horrid things directed at me on a daily basis, so this is quite ordinary and there's not much i can do about it, i cope by trying to stay positive for others and be as kind/loving as i can since i usually don't have people to treat me that way, you're quite the exception, what i thought of as a stupid question blossomed into something i could never imagine, and i was shocked to see how everyone, including you, took to me quite quickly (and not in a joking way either) (4?/9)

i'm not used to it at all, so i mean it from the bottom of my heart when i say that everything you guys say and do means the world to me, i get overwhelmed with positive emotion when you all treat me so sweetly, i truly couldn't ask for anything more. that being said, i wasn't planning to open up about my mental health on this account (since i don't wanna talk about these dark subjects when trying to brighten other's days),, (5/9)

but i guess it's warranted now so hopefully you all can understand me better and not worry as much, i suffer from multiple mental illnesses, two different depressive disorders, an anxiety disorder, and body dysmorphia, some from genetics and others from trauma. i try to keep it on the down-low to not bring down anyone's moods, so i be as cheerful as i can. i'm professionally treated for it, so please don't fret. it really went downhill during the start of this pandemic and declined since (6/9)

i was absolutely miserable, and having dealt with many s*icid*l tendencies, self hatred, and lots of destructive habits, i was truly falling apart my sister introduced me to your blog sometime in january, and even though i did not have a tumblr, i still greatly enjoyed checking it everyday with her and requesting things from time to time, it's a nice escape from the world i live in, and after months of checking your blog, i decided to interact a bit more with that silly ask of mine. (7/9)

it really is a miracle that we formed such a bond, it's truly the best thing to have happened this year, i love having such a meaningful connection and getting to experience some positivity everyday i am completely serious when i say that you and the followers give me something to look forward to everyday, and you all have helped me to stay a little longer on this planet. i owe you all so much for that, so i still plan on popping up everyday to cheer you all up,, (8/9)

i could never thank you all enough, you all truly do mean the world to me 💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗 i can't wait to come back tomorrow with something more lighthearted, so please keep being extraordinary, because i'd hate to lose connection with any of you - from the bottom of my heart and soul, with much love, your local waifu xoxo 💘 ps: i can't wait to hopefully meet someday morgy darling, there's lots i'd love to do, so that's another reason for me to stay alive a little longer 💞 (9/9)"

Dear this is quite alot so i'll just start by saying that im flattered u greeted me in romanian😳✌️ i dont wanna pull a ghiaccio but although dragă does exist in this context it would be more like "bună seara dragA mea" but it really doesnt matter bc my wig is snatched and i was n o t expecting this ddhxhddj

Trivial matters aside, you shouldnt feel pressured into opening up on here even though some things surfaced but you did it nonetheless and im proud of u bc i myself would rather y e e t than talk abt myself and personal issues🤡🤡🤡 but aNywAyS let me start off by saying that again, you shouldnt get used to horrid things being said to u. Its fucking tragic that u get treated like this meanwhile all u do is be kind and care for others, but them treating u like that is entirely THEIR fault and u should never feel guilty for it. And keep telling others if shit happens (including us if u want) since we're all gonna do some good ol' as whooping @ the ppl that talk shit😤👋

I wont reveal much but just so you know i completely understand what you're going through and felt what you described in ur letter on a spiritual level, although i know just saying "i relate" doesnt really help. Its unfortunate and unfair ur goin thru this and yes i agree the pandemic did only worsen things (even for myself) and its really shitty🗿🗿im glad u at least had siblings that took care of u and made sure u felt better in no time doe

As always seeing u say that me and my blog cheered u up and motivated u to go on truly is smth like...w o w i never expected any of this to have such a major impact on anyone when i first made this blog as half of a joke lmao hdhxxhdj but im glad it helped u and other ppl so that means i'll just have to keep on running it😳😳😳 you really dont have to thank us for anything since we enjoy brightening up ur day and i have to ageee it IS a miracle how all of this came to be but thats exactly why its goddamn wig snatching ahsydjdkf

Also bro to say u have another reason to stay alive just to meet me....😞😞 Take care of urself bro

[simptasia]

For the Happy Headcannons, 13, 15, 16 for Desmond Hume, Charlie Pace and Kate Austen (don't feel like you need to do all three if you dont want to)?

nah, i’ll do everybody (ba-bum-tsh). thanks buddy!

How do they like to provide for others?

desmond: i remember dessie getting all bummed out because he couldn’t afford a 5 dollar photo (bruh for 5 bucks you should get 3 photos or something, like a package deal, that sucks) for penny, so penny paid for it and that wounded his pride. now he doesn’t come across as the type to be feeling like this for sexist reasons. his pride isn’t wounded because penny, a lady, has more money than him. his pride is wounded because penny, the person he loves dearly, has more money than him and he feels he should provide for somebody he wuvs

which is built from his lack of self worth. feeling like, if i cannae provide, what i am worth to a relationship. which is sad. also something about honor

not helped is that penny is boss rich and desmond is apparently not doing so great money wise. so that wounds his pride but not in a chauvinist way, which is great because otherwise des would be a lot less likable

so in short, financially. out of fear and insecurity

charlie: now this is something. a thing about charlie is that he wants to care for those he loves. he wants to take care of claire. and when he fell in love with lucy, he wanted to take care of her too. and lucy was rich so i dunno what the fuck he meant by that. im not sure what he means. protection? just the concept of love in general? we know he wants to care for claire, but im not sure what he means

i think thats just what love feels like to him. love = feeling a profound desire to Care For somebody. which to be fair, is true. this doesn’t have to translate into literally doing something. tho charlie does watch over aaron sometimes so claire can rest. he’s gotten claire food and medicine. they sleep near each other. charlie would kill for claire, he would die for claire. in fact, he’s done both. and on a much less wholesome note, he’s also weirdly possessive of claire. due to rampant insecurity on his part. protectiveness mutated into being controlling

it’s sad, but true

so with charlie, what is i think, is that he really really REALLY puts a lot of value on playing the Husband Role (and father role if applicable) in somebody’s life

kate: protect protect protect must protect. i’ve talked about kate’s protectiveness in conjunction with women a lot, which is born from growing up seeing her mother be abused. and being abused herself. so she’s Extra protective and supportive of other women. but as well as that, she’s plenty protective and supportive of men too. within reason, if a dude (jack, sawyer) needs calling out, she’ll do it. but kate has ride or die level loyalty to those she cares for. (she also goes into Mom Mode with daniel because daniel has that effect on people)

but what does this on point character analysis have to do with what she wants to provide? well, what im saying is, if you’re friends with kate austen, and even more so, if kate austen LOVES you, you would have like the best support system. not financially but emotionally (compassion, backs you up) and physically (this bitch can FIGHT). she’s not a pushover with those she loves, but her heart bends to them pretty easily. see: jack, claire, sawyer

i don’t think this is a conscious thing, she’s just naturally good, whether she believes that or not. so she provides support

what fandom do they write fanfic for? give us a small sample

ajhfakhlsfdkhsahad firstly, no. secondly, im not doing that

now, say this was modern era and charlie existed in our time with our fandomy outlook. i have no idea what fandom he’d be in but i know what kind of fics he’d write. songfics. and this fucker is the type to write poetry on his blog. all mopey and ~deep~ kinda stuff

have no idea what kinda media any of those three would be into tho. desmond and kate aren’t really into TV.  i can’t even imagine them watching TV

which household chore do they privately love?

desmond: i can’t picture des loving a household chore, or even liking one. but he doesn’t dislike any either. he’s more matter of fact about them, really. like, well, this has gotta be done, no use complaining

charlie: growing up he never did a chore (because mama megan was very doting) until he and liam went to live on their own so he hates them all so he’s ugggghhhh about it. (only at home around liam, he’s not kinda complain around girls he likes because that’d make him look bad). like, im picturing charlie making his bed or cleaning the dishes and whining about it the whole time (”liiiii, this is killing me” “aww, is washing mugs too hard for your delicate hands, baby brother?” “shut up!” “no you shut up and we’ll get a takeaway after” “fiiiiine”)

he’d do his chores but he’ll be a bitch about the whole time

very on brand for a northerner

kate: domesticity used to really freak kate out due to trauma but once she actually got into it, she likes making breakfast. she’s not good at cooking, but breakfast is easy and there’s something… nice about it. i know making breakfast isn’t a chore, it’s more like a standard part of being alive but… yeah

[eekispyykes]

Mr Sparklepuff Feline Obituary 5.1.2020/Abridged

Mr Puffs 4-2002-  5-1-2020

by Michael Bench

Mr Puffs was an excellent friend and adventurous hiker. He loved to be outdoors. A ferocious mouser ; he did an arc'ing jump on mice and chipmunks from 2 clumps of brush away. The porch frankly stank from all his gifts. An amazing climber and very fast sprinter crossing a square acre in about 3.5sec. Some would ask why he was named as such and close friends know the whole story. A primary point was so people had a good vibe about him and would let him be. In the past two years  he had cancer of the face that spread. He had been treated with surgery to remove the tumor. At a shade over 18yo, he set to rest as every night he was shivvering in normal home temp and couldn't keep weight on; refusing to leave the couch; hating being put in pet clothes/infant flannel.

2017-2020 were tough years for him adjusting to a new stray friend we “adopted” from the wild. They were startingn to get along. It played into the stress.I feel bad about this. it split us up somewhat.  My younger cat was more forceful about claiming me. It weighs on me; Frankly it seemed like a few rape attempts also that difficulted the social cue of ‘normal cat spooning”.. Mr Puffs was able to get out on a van ride of Fogelsville,PA about three months ago. He also gave some love to his plush hedgehog toy. He gave it a consensual drilling every once a while or daily.

What you should know about Mr Puffs:

:My grilling deputy  and trout inspector

:Loved to play the mysterious thing under blanket or newspaper game

:Love to play the mysterious tapping fingers under the many basement stairs game

:Fine taste in music and loved being my karaoke fan. Love you buddy. Not very keen on Tv after Keenan Michael Keys left Animal  Planet's morning show.

:Enjoyed less usual faire like potatoes and adored bbq chicken pizza; he could handle medium wings. He WAS WARNED each time and kept him away from it till it was obvious he wanted it. Honey ham, turkey, .. and salami**. Mind you, he has never been overweight and was complimented by his first vet for muscle tone. It's his compliment to own.

:Enjoyed jumping apartment building gaps while in town: we had to rough it for a month in a storage facility after an unexpected eviction.. which we then would go for walks 1a-3a to get his exercise and water the landscape mulch at 11th street Fred Meyers. There's a little marsh back behind the store that became our little daytime haven.

:His Hiking career started in Eugene, OR. We would go night walking ,w/o a leash and whenever someone was coming he would detour off the sidewalk and into the nearest house’s bushes.. This was optimal because he would get back on the lit sidewalk and learn to keep course. This advanced to 5-7 mile hikes from U Oregon campus to Hendrix park and back. One trip such trip he was panting so he didn’t really want to run away anywhere or into traffic fortunately.. The sun had come out of the cloud cover and heated things up above the usual. We stopped at an icecream place on the way back on the edge of campus: Agate and 19th. Even though he was tired, he was a smart and collected guy. so he slinked to the back of the shop till I came back out..It was like escorting the supermodel of manly cats.  It was at this time I knew leashes or more distant locations were necessary.  

:While we were driving back to Pennsylvania, he decided to have a playfrenzy on the dashboard while I was in heavy traffic nearabouts of Nebraska/Rushmore on the interstate.

:Short story : Since he now had room in the yard to runaround Puffs tested his speed and momentum to get up tree trunks. Our front yard had a medium sized maple oak something. Mr Puffs ran up the tree and alarmed a family of nesting doves. The doves and Mr Puffs seemed to flee the tree foilage each in horizontal directions at about 8ft off the ground.  

:Other than a shoulder injury from a fight of somesort, he was very durable. His parent's owners had coined him 'Jaco” after the famous bass player.. A green -eyed Russian Blue tuxedo, angular white paws.  with little white hairs across his coat. At times I also referred to him as “Cactus Jack”. Massive front incisors like a miniature sabertooth. I pitied the rabbits who he caught which were still squealing.

:Another Short Story. I coaxed my mom to live a little and put that front addition on the house she always wanted. She got an enclosed porch. Theres an open porch on the back of the house also. When the framing was done.. I went out to the backyard to enjoy the night sky, I heard nothing. When I turned around I had two bright eyes scaring me  to the ground. From 9ft, the top of the roof porch he looked at me Apparently Puffs had climbed the 8ft of framing from the work table, crossed the rafters, crossed the whole house roof and decided to voyeur me on the other side of the house. I was very glad he didn't tempt the electric lines whose pole he had tried to climb other days.Stressing moments on me as well.

:Puffs became a pro at taking baths since 2017, and getting nails trimmed at the same time. The trim helped him jump (getting pad purchase)  and helped the furniture too.

:Another quick story. Cats can swim. I took him to go swimming in the creek and that went pretty good the first time. (Must always be on leash. And probably use partially inflated swimmy muscle). He was really comfortable in the water if it was shallow(2.5ft). The problem with the creek is its near a road so don't be near roads even with the leash on.  He was swimming a good crawl in about 4ft.  A fish mustve brushed his foot because he panicked and started jumping out of the water like a bass on a hook. I literally had to swing him in the air (with leash) and onto the shore into some leaves and grass. There's some fault in not being close enough to him to pick him up out of the water directly. He swam pretty good and at range.  To ease that trauma.. (nearly heart attack probably; that went sour) , I let him calm down. At a much shallower area no taller than his knees(5-6”) I set him into the stream without much resentment and just petted him to get him calm.  (He wasn't a lap cat before that either.) At that point the swimming  got shuttered for downhill walks and other casual stuff.

: On similar climbing points.. even till about 2015, he liked to jump the gap from the upright piano top (4ft) to the top of the entertainment center (7.5 ft) plus the hallway gap of  3.5 ft and he was really solid at it. Would stay up there for a while and then jump down onto the sofa table (3 ft tall).. He was always calculating a new feat. When that one item stopped being in his wheelhouse it was clear he was getting bothered/ annoyed and the stress of a cat territory issue wore him down.

If you were to be near him, you'd end up watching him. This statue of a male cat with really long tail. Not lemur-long but really long.. a gray panther. And, maybe you'd try to pet him since he looked inviting. Yet, you wouldn't get much petting done. He'd probably tolerate two brushes and then give your hand a carving with his claws, hiss at you and find a new place to observe the room,  That said, he would cruise the neighborhood looking which apartment I might've visited, slink in and check out how other people decorated. A very dignified personality, sometimes to the point of indignant.  He was  a cat you'd want to clone over and over because he was just that cool on himself. Cloning him was on the slate too until those type of businesses were closed with political force.. He actually inspired a jazz song  (currently in midi form) that I’ve yet to record. I was tore up about his first cancer surgery so I started writing. Hope that will be out soon enuff. I hope this can help you appreciate Mr Puffs. He was buried at a spot he chose. It was nearby a set of brush he would choose to hide in hours near the middle of  hikes.

.. he loved to hide.  Back in Oregon I'd take him  in the van with my mentally handicapped clients. He'd be set loose to get his relaxation in. By the time it was time to leave. he wanted to stay. He hid in bushes and culverts. I learned very quickly that such outings had to be local or I'd be driving back hours to go get him at night or worse. Once I knew that, we'd take rides on the bus to the edges of the bus line and just chill on hills overlooking boating lakes. Fern Ridge Reservoir had a nice pine overlook off Territorial hwy.  He really enjoyed outings and variety. Maybe thats what kept him interested as a matter of longevity. I want to end on that.  He showed me lessons in best intentions and good in the bad.. and murdering all my Egyptian spiny mice within hours of acquiring them and their replacements. Its not like I wouldn't have gotten him a feeder mouse but there were plenty stinking up the walkway as it was. I'm blessed to have spent that month sheltered in a renta-shed with him. It seems the alternative .. without having enough for a pet deposit elsewhere (that moment) was to lower my standards for the landlords daughter and by whatever 'influence' she had. 'evicted us for periodic renovations”. So, eventually we chose instead to leave and he got a brims of fieldmice, chipmunks and forest romping. I hope that was an appreciated choice. He liked city life too. Should you choose to tribute to Mr Puffs, I welcome it. He’d be the type of cat Dos Equis beer would be looking for if he actually drank it.

Hope you’re feeling better, Puffs; BFF 

[niixell]

"lets get personal." answer as many as you wanna! if thats meands allof them tn go for it!!!

Hell Yeah imma do all of them!!!! ty!!!!! sorry some of the answers are really boring or short

1. you and Jennifer-bulow, Chlorine-twenty one pilots, missing you-all time low, water fountain-Alec Benjamin, blame it on my youth-blink-182. It was difficult to choose 6 songs cause usually i just put a playlist on shuffle, but this is pretty good representation of whats in it

2. uhhhh, probably Phil Lester cause I look up to him alot and I want to know what’d he’d be like in person

3. ofc it was “this book is gay” the line is “wowsers, this whole gay thing is a lot more complicated then Glee lead us to believe”

4. ngl, how fucking gay i am for certain people

5. pretty boring, it’s “yeahhh”

6. not completely naked, but not in full pajamas

7. i can pop 3 of my fingers completely in and out of their socket

8. Girls, guys, and non-binary pals are fucking attractive and pretty and nice and im rlly fuckin gay.

9. yup, one of my ex’s did, it was rlly sweet

10. no clue, air drums woulda been yesterday though

11. not rlly, nope!

12. probably, not that i remember though

13. don’t got one

14. wanting to go inside or im at the ocean

15. behind behind behind, i hate being on camera

16. currently...uhhhhhhh......P!ATD probably

17. How are you? “I’m ok”

18. not rlly nope, do believe some people defiantly deserve it though

19. its extreamly complicated. Toby’s my name, and I’m bored

20. Weakness is probably my anxiety. Strength would be...... I can pick up new talents up pretty quicky i guess

21. don’t have one. got people i admire, but not a crush

22. yup, in the lake during the summer once

23. Now that I think about it....I don’t know

24. so, so, so many things. I am an absolute gremlin

25. depending on the people, only time im on the phone is playing mc though so. phone ig

26. maybe? im still “becoming”

27. love: the crunch of refrozen snow. hate: the bus engine which sucks cause i gotta ride it every day

28. what if I fail

29. Ghosts yes, 99% sure my house is haunted as it used to be a doctors office in the 1920s. Aliens 100%. youd have to be an idiot to think that theres not some sort of other life in the entire universe

30. My computer that im typing this on with both arms

31. apple pie filling that I made

32. alberta

33. west west west west west

34. i don’t have an opposite gender

35. the meaning of my life is to study some fucking orcas

36. creation of something new

37. sometimes!

38. pretty grey and boring. maybe rainy, im not sure, im not by any windows

39. 4:28, though it feels like 7. today has gone so slowly

40. Yes and yes. though i only bumped someones truck while learning to park so it wasnt to bad

41. the book needed for # 3!!

42. enh, kinda?

43. not rlly. 

44. film? idk but watching something? im watching bnha right now for the 3rd time

45. ive broken my arm and sprained my ankle but im not sure what was worse

46. yeah!! i was in mexico and they would come land on me!

47. well. Orcas. Bnha. thats pretty much my entire personality

48. Panromanic Demisexual

49. that I cheated on my ex which is compleate bullshit

50. yes!!!

51. sometimes and depends on the situation

52. Aquarius!

53. i need to save it but i spend it. im sucky at saving

54. some food cause im a hungry bitch

55. love<3

56. nope

57. 3 as of current

58. yup!!

59. at school and at work. glad thats over

60. a pan flag hanging on my ceiling

61. yeah. my feet are cold

62. ORCAS

63. i dont really have one. i just hang out with people who like the same stuff and we bond over that

64. shes probably at her house while talking to me on discord rn. hey look @krarshadow, youre part of the asks I told you about

65.  @seriously--fuck--you @krarshadow @official-lucifers-child @thatsthat24 @kitkatthegaybean

66. no clue

67. having a shower i think

68. morningstar

69. nah

70. some of the time. other times im an annoying little shit who shouldn’t be allowed to interact with anyone

71. save the dog and run to work on time. then get fired for refusing to get rid of the dog

72. tell certain people, hang out in my friends classes and not bother with my own, enh, id just be sad I wouldnt see my friends again

73. love as love builds trust

74. I really dont know. I have a playlist called “calming???” and that helps make me not sad

75. ***-***-2083

76. communication. this goes for any kind of relationship, not just romantic

77. i dont know!!!! romantic stuff is confusing and telling the different between liking someone and liking someone is sometimes fucking difficult

78. oh hell yes. one hundred percent

79. wanting to study orcas as a tiny child. its given me something to always look towards and work for

80. 8-91/2

81. i don’t want on. mix my ashes with glitter and throw me into the ocean

82. Sonder, its a pretty boring word but the meaning is cool. “ The profound feeling of realizing that everyone, including strangers passed in the street, has a life as complex as one's own, which they are constantly living despite one's personal lack of awareness of it. “

83. blood

84. *screams are heard in the distance*

85. You and Jennifer apparently

86. blue. but like a Logan Sanders or Tuesday blue

87.

88. my dad

89. situational. there are ones i don’t want to answer, but nothing i can think of where im scared of the truth

90. kill all but one and strap that one on a table and unwrap and dissect it

91. shapeshifting (gotta love that definatly creative answer from a trans person right there)

92. seeing orcas

93. my fucking childhood trauma

94. what the fuck. do people actually wanna sleep with them???? thats creepy as fuck man

95. Tofino, BC (no surprise there, its really easy to see orcas off the coast)

96. Its my fatherrrrrrrr

97. uhhhhh, no, but i did right after getting out of the car once

98. many times! real fun! i quite like plane rides if i get my own space

99. Fuck terfs. Trans rights

[enixamyram]

Hey, guess what, I’ve found another screen rant I want to react to! I wasn’t planning to do any more but, reading through this article, I just have SO many problems with it... So Let’s do another, agree or disagree with a Screenrant article made by someone with no bias at all. (Sarcasm for the last part by the way.) So let’s see:

Agreed with this point. People act like, if the characters weren’t on screen then they disappeared or something. Maybe they were just living their own lives?

... I don’t even understand this article. Apparently this is 20 things people get wrong and this point is that the timeline can make sense, but then OP goes on to say “However, the more characters were introduced and the more worlds the characters ventured into, it became clearer and clearer that time didn't work the same way everywhere... However, in a world of fairytales, expecting anything more than that is simply asking too much. What does it matter, exactly, when some of these events took place as long as we know that they were a long time ago in a universe not at all like our own?”

Like, so that means this isn’t something people get wrong - the timeline DOESN’T make sense - so what the hell is it doing in this article? You can’t claim you’ve solved it just because you shrug and go “yeah but it’s magic so what do you expect?”

I mean the text directly conflicts the title/bullet point. Luckily I can still safely say I disagree, both with the title and the text because the timeline became f*cked, and just making an embarrassed shrugging face doesn’t change that.

I can’t even say disagree because this is just plain wrong! I don’t quite understand this writer. I can’t tell what they’re deal is, like did they just give a poor title to their article?

Season 1 - The Original Curse Season 2 - Belle and Sneezy lost their memories. Season 3 - Everyone lost a year. Season 5 - Camelot Season 6 - Emma lost her memories Season 7 - Another Curse.

Notice how I left out 4? Well this is where I’m getting confused because this is what OP had to say about Season 4: “While season four dabbled with alternate universes, memories were never wiped or reset in the way they were in every other season.”

... But their memories WERE wiped! They were essentially in a curse because their memories WERE wiped and they WERE given new identities just like the original curse. So yes, memory wipes did in fact happen every single season!

So I can’t agree or disagree because maybe some people do call Ruby a lesbian, but most everyone I talk to calls her bi... So I’ma just skip this one.

Note: She’s bi people. This is canon. If you don’t agree then tough shit.

Agreed, there’s plenty of other ways true love can be proven. TLK is probably just the most convenient, lol.

Kind of agree? I mean I think most people do know and acknowledge this but I guess it can sometimes escape people without realising in passing sentences?

This is true. It was a lame and terrible reveal that made no sense but it was revealed.

... Like, I’m getting confused again. Because this title either doesn’t fit or the writer lives under a rock because no one get’s this wrong! Everyone - rightfully - calls out Zelena for what she did. Even Zelena fans admit what she did was messed up!

... I do agree, I don’t think she made up for all the awful things she did and she definitely became “one of the team” way too quickly for my liking. (I’m hesitant because I suddenly have an idea what side of the fandom wrote this article and I can pretty much predict where it’s going.)

AND THERE IT IS!

DISAGREE.  DISAGREE. DISAGREE. DISAGREE. DISAGREE. DISAGREE.

“Nothing says good guy like being an older man who takes advantage of a young girl, impregnates her, and lets her go to jail for crimes you yourself committed.” First off, we don’t know his age. Second, he didn’t ‘impregnant’ her. She got pregnant. It takes two to tango though I doubt the writer knows this. And third, Emma went to jail for HER crimes. Sorry, dear writer, but let me just fill you in. Aiding and abetting a fellow criminal IS A CRIME! Emma did wrong and she was punished for it. I don’t necessarily agree with what Neal did but he is not responsible for where Emma ended up.

“Even further, nothing says good guy like someone who mocks the woman he allegedly loves for the years of trauma, suffering, and scars she endured as a result of your callous, selfish behavior.” ... WHEN?!

“... Neal Cassidy became more and more like the selfish, frequently malicious parents who raised him.” ... Again, WHEN?! Like seriously, selfish maybe but malicious?!

“In no world would he have been the right man for Emma or a good father to Henry because he could never accept accountability for any of his many wrongdoings.” Except, you know, Neal knew Henry all of five minutes and was already dedicated to being a great dad to him and literally was WAY better at being a father to Henry than Hook ever was to the kid. And I added the Hook part because my God, the writer of this article couldn’t be more obvious a CS shipper if they had every sentence end with swans and pirate flags.

It’s amazing how, even dead, they’re still threatened by Neal’s character.

Maybe this was true in S6, but by S7 they had clearly retconned it, making the Wish Realm a very real place. Otherwise there’s a ton of plot holes and you’ve got to be a real idiot to say you’d rather accept plot holes than that the Wish Realm might actually be real.

(Also, just saying, another terrible title because what happened to Emma and Regina when they were in the Wish Realm very much DID happen. So again, really poor titles for this article that clearly doesn’t know what it’s point is.)

... She VIOLATED everyone’s minds by erasing their memories and TRIED TO MURDER ZELENA!

She may have had good intentions but that doesn’t change the fact that she was a villain for a season! Dude, have you never heard the phrase “the road to hell was paved with good intentions”?! I’ll defend Emma turning Hook into a Dark One for sure, but trying to completely ignore the awful things she did?! Jesus Christ!

Again... What? OP... Everyone already KNOWS this. This article is meant to be things people gets wrong but, honestly, I think OP’s the only idiot who gets things wrong at this point. So I’m once again torn because I agree with the statement but I don’t agree that this is something people get wrong.

*Sigh* OP’s giving me a migraine. Not because their statement is incorrect, but because all their reasoning is!

“Regina, as we know, went back and forth to points outside of Maine many times during the preceding 28 years.” It was actually explained, by Regina herself to Hook in Season 2, that because she (and he) had no cursed memories, crossing the town line would not affect them.

“Greg and Tamara are also able to cross the town lines, with Greg even remembering the tiny town for years and years after a traumatic encounter within it during his childhood.” Again. The town line affects people who ARE CURSED! This is made very clear! Henry can also cross the town line when he went to get Emma.

The title, once again, is misleading. People are able to leave - so long as they don’t CROSS THE TOWN LINE. That’s the part CURSED people are not able to do.

I’ve given up Agreeing and Disagreeing at this point. OP’s points are making my brain hurt so let’s just move on.

You’re right OP. It did serve a purpose. It’s purpose was to be a cash grab!

Apparently OP’s excuse is that Anna and Elsa helped Emma come into her own as a magic user? Like yeah, I’m calling bullshit. Emma had no problem using her magic until they brought Frozen in, then they made a whole storyline of Emma having problems just to justify having Elsa struggle and then help her with it.

And after they left they were barely even mentioned. So, again. NO PURPOSE. (Apart from a cash grab.)

Okay, so actually, I do agree. Regina is still Henry’s mum but the fact is, his adoption can’t be legal because Regina would need to have lied on her application and all the usual checks usually done for people wanting to adopt couldn’t possibly have happened.

I was going to agree on technicality but you know what? No.

DISAGREE!

Just because the couples aren’t perfect doesn’t make them toxic. (Using OP’s examples:) “Robin's relationship with Regina results in his being repeatedly assaulted and fathering a child as a result of that assault.” Wow, dude, wait to blame the girlfriend for some of the bad stuff that happened in Robin’s life. I sure feel sorry for whoever you end up with if this is how you see it. “Hook and Emma frequently lie to one another as well,” Lying does not equal a toxic relationship! Certain lies, maybe, but general lying is just what people do when they’re embarrassed or ashamed or upset. What counts is what you’re lying about and also whether or not you come clean about it.

The only one I’ll agree with is RumBelle but even then OP completely misses the reason WHY they’re a toxic relationship. Instead they generalise it into very un-toxic details.

... Again... Like... I agree with the statement but NO ONE GETS THIS WRONG!

OP is clearly just using this article as an excuse to bash Regina. And I’m not a Regina fan, but no, dude, if you’re gonna do this then make a “20 of the worst things Regina ever did” list. Not a “20 things people get wrong” and then list a bunch of things that one in ten people gets wrong!

And now OP’s repeating. Because I’m pretty sure this was covered in the 4th one? Like, agree. I guess. But it feels like OP was running out of things and figured Regina bashing again would be too obvious or something.

Okay. Now this is something a lot of people won’t agree with but... I do.

I agree the show was intended to be Emma’s story and that it then got popular and other characters got popular and it branched out into something more.

... However OP is still a colossus idiot because they ended on this sentence:

“It's what made the concept of a seventh season without almost any of the Charmings such a laughable concept - and such a colossal failure, as well.” And while Season 7 may not be the masterpiece I pretend it is to piss of anti’s, it is also far from the worst. OP just hates it because their fav wasn’t centre stage and they’re bitter as hell.

Wow this was probably the stupidest article yet. OP either clearly doesn’t know what they were meant to be doing (a list of things people often forget about the show) or they just wanted to make a list where they bitched a few points and couldn’t be bothered to think of a catchy title or reason why. Either way, OP’s an idiot and most of these points are ridiculously dumb.

[dissirnulo-blog]

Hello! I just stumbled on this blog by complete accident, and it's interesting to read your posts about akechi! I'm sorry if this actually comes of rude or ignorant or whatever, but i'm genuinely curious about life in orphanages in japan. Your akechi seems to be awfully not fond of it, and i guess the same with go with canon akechi actually. What are you thoughts?

OH MY GOSH? im really flattered that you found them interesting, and im more flattered that you actually want to hear my thoughts on such a delicate subject. youre not being rude or anything!!

i very well cant give proper opinions on a subject without laying down the facts first, though, and surprisingly, other than passing mentions and links to an article or two, no one really talked about just how awful the system is in japan, and in turn how it affected goro, so let me talk about the system while adding in my own commentary

WARNING: WERE GOING TO SPOILER TOWN HERE.

spoilers and very, very, very, VERY heavy text under the cut. im so sorry mobile users

these are all articles i have bookmarked lolol i suggest yall read them but tldrs aint that bad too

What’s it like to be raised in a Japanese orphanage?

many kids that wind up in orphanages were neglected by their parents or suffered some kind of abuse from their parents. its also not uncommon for parents to leave their kids there simply because theyre too overwhelmed by the job

but even then, some (read: a whole fucking lot) of these parents refuse to let their children be adopted bc of a social stigma involving it. they cant support/cant take care/dont give a fuck for their children but theyre too scared of the shame that comes from getting their kids adopted to let them live in a family that can care for and love them. think about that for a minute.

these kids are sometimes called throw away children by society. goro is a throw away child, you can say.

the kids tend to form a hierarchical society where the oldest or the biggest kid orders all the other kids around. refuse to listen to them, and you get beat up. abuse and bullying is rampant because of this

a child leaves their orphanage at around 15 to 18. once they leave, any kind of support from the government is cut off. gone. nada. youre on your goddamn own. 

japan is a country thats held together by connections. you get a job if you have a good network to back up your credibility. basically, without any kind of networks, youre already ruined before you even got outside of that goddamn orphanage you live in

to add: its not uncommon to hear about orphans released from orphanages becoming homeless or unemployed, and without a support network, more often than not they also suffer from mental illnesses such as depression. or theyre also manipulated into committing murder. you know.

im gonna throw my assumption out here that goro most likely was released from whatever orphanage he was in when he was 15. not too long after, he had awaken to his persona, and thats when he approached shido. probably. if that were the case, then it would align with when the mental shutdown cases started: two years before the main game. goro died at 17 years old.

with these facts, we can assume that HE WAS LITERALLY A HOMELESS KID WHEN HE WENT TO SHIDO, AND HE WAS BARELY LEGAL WHEN HE DIED, YOU FUCKING MONKEYS

“When I was growing up in orphanages I sensed the staff was fulfilling their responsibilities but I didn’t feel protected or loved. When I had to leave the orphanage I was all alone. I had no one to turn to.” — Sayuri Watai, 27, founder of a support organization run by and for ‘graduates’ of childhood welfare facilities.

Japan: Children in Institutions Denied Family Life

basically, the foster care system and the alternative care system (aka orphanages) in japan are a fucking trainwreck, but thats the whole point of this post, so its not that surprising.

orphanages are just really fucking bad, theres not enough space, bad facilities, abuses from both staff and fellow children, that kind of shit

its also mentioned here how those who leave the orphanages have no support to help them ease back into society and again brings up the importance of having connections in japan

adoption is rare. by 2011, only 303 kids (out of like, roughly, 30,000) were formally adopted out of the alternative care system. more on Why later

childrens’ best interests are often set aside in favour of letting the parents or family, who put them there in the first place, decide what happens to the kid, which basically means if the parents/family of the kid doesnt want the kid to get adopted, then no, the kid wont be adopted.

basically, the system favours the stupid adults’ opinions over the kids’ wellbeing. as quoted from one of the careworkers mentioned in the article, “In Japan, the interest of the parents is seen as more important than the interests of the child.”

“The Convention on the Rights of the Child states that for the full development of a child’s personality, they ‘should grow up in a family environment, in an atmosphere of happiness, love and understanding.’” 

hey so guess which persona 5 character never grew up in a family and ended up screwed up in the personality department and got so lost and confused with what he really wanted so he desperately clung to the flimsy fame he had and the idea of revenge and fake praises from a certain shido masayoshi? yeah i thought so

japan likes to cram all these kids into orphanages that, even though there are caretakers who do want to take very good care of these sad kids, there isnt enough staff to deal with them, and thats when what looks like neglect from the staffs part arises

the article lists testimonies from children and adults who are and were from these institutions. one of them, a one sentence testimony, stood out to me in particular: “I don’t have any dreams for the future.” it sounded so jaded and tired to me, and it makes me think of the last time we saw goro in the game. that really tired smile really hit it home for me. goro had goals, but what about dreams?

lets speak in hypotheticals: if goro managed to inflict his revenge on shido, and he won, what comes after? what will he do? he spoke in the ship about being heralded as the hero who took down shido, sure, but do yalls really think, after everything, he actually plans to get out of that goddamn mess alive? goro made it his life mission to ruin shido. nothing matters but that, not even himself. after all is said and done, it doesnt seem very plausible for goro to keep on wanting to live. theres nothing to live for, after that

Witness: Lack of Support in Japanese Orphanages

“Masashi cared about his appearance – he wore fashionable [ … ] clothes and had styled his hair – but a sense of isolation clung to him.” that sounds familiar but maybe thats just me

studies show that children younger than 3 who grow up in orphanages have the risk of delayed mental, emotional, and even physical development because of the lack of bonds with a proper adult or family. orphanages are also a really poor environment for older children, who most likely already experienced abuse in the hands of their families or severe trauma after losing their parents. either way, orphanages are just a really bad idea for children

the first two articles have mentioned this, and now this article mentions this again: kids who grow up in orphanages are often poorly equipped for the real world because of the lack of support after their release, and yeah yall know how they end up homeless and jobless bc of it

as continuation, sometimes, education for these kids are so poor that they get out of the system barely able to read or solve simple math problems. 

children get subsidies now (bc back then they didnt wtf). its around 55,000 yen, or 550 usd. they cant even get a drivers license with it, which also happens to be really good extra points for when applying for a job. another opportunity lost for them

Adoption in Japan Part 1: Why are there so many kids in orphanages?

this article focuses more on why adoption is so rare in japan and also reinstates some things that have been mentioned earlier, namely, childrens’ well being getting set aside in favour of what shitty parents have to say

majority of kids in orphanages have living parents who retain legal custody but are not raising them. because of this, they are not allowed to be adopted, even if the parents dont come back for them

for some reason, japan is really insistent on giving the parents full control on their kids life even though they already abandoned them. this idea is so strictly followed that even a baby found in trash cans or some shit are usually ruled by court as not allowed to be adopted in case the biological parents come looking for them. i know. its full of bullshit.

with that and the stigma of a family letting their kid adopted, it makes me think that maybe its why goro ended up stuck in orphanages and never lasted in foster homes. because despite being a good kid (which i actually think he was), he was never adopted bc his mothers family refused to let him be adopted. its really messed up

apparently, people think orphanages are “the right place for nobody’s children to be raised.” add in the “throwaway children” nickname from one of the earlier articles, i get where goros coming from with his whole “unwanted, cursed child” mentality, and why hes so desperate for anyones attention. spend your entire childhood having the idea that youre a throwaway child, that youre a nobody’s child, that your mother killed herself because youre unwanted planted in your vulnerable mind, and then taste praise for the first time despite it coming from the one person you want to ruin the most, no wonder goro was intoxicated by it.

while there are orphanages with staffs that try their best, sexual and physical abuse are still prevalent, mostly in private orphanages. though they are supposedly monitored by the government, those sent to inspect these private orphanages have little to no training for the job. most of the time, the inspector only comes for tea, then they fucking leave, and the abuses and badly maintained facilities continue to prevail

the article brings up again how children are badly prepared for the real world and are doomed to a life of hardship when they leave. it never stops

in japan, only middle school is compulsory, but most jobs require that you should be at least a high school graduate. only 10% (or lower) of kids from orphanages get to attend high school, because 1) getting into high school is like a super big deal and hard, maybe like getting into college, and normally, middle schoolers attend cram schools to prepare for their entrance tests, 2) these orphans cannot afford cram schools, 3) the government refuses to fund cram schools for these kids bc its also acknowledging that their public education fucking sucks and cant afford to get anyone into a high school

imagine goro burning his fucking eyebrows to be able to get into high school. although, truthfully, i wouldnt be surprised if shido had something to do with goro being able to get into high school, if we still go along with “goro approached shido at 15″ thing. but i stand with the whole “goro is actually smart and intelligent despite being a wack detective” thing bc lets be real, that shit he pulled in saes palace is fucking nuts. you cant deny the kids a genius in his own right

Adoption in Japan Part 2: Attitudes to Adoption

adult adoptions, the kind thats done by adults (duh) for convenience or inheritance etc etc, is a frequent thing in japan, but child adoption, the kind that we all are more familiar with, is apparently kind of a wack concept in japan. its entirely new to them. in fact they only legalised that shit in 1989

koseki likes to make everything complicated. its so fucking hard to describe, but its like a family tree of sorts, except when you (the mother) have a kid out of wedlock, youre not allowed to register your kid to your family tree for some fucking reason; you have to start your own family tree with just you and your kid. if you give up your kid for adoption and they got adopted, their name doesnt get removed from your family tree for some fucking reason, but the fact that they were adopted is noted in your family tree. and this starts the discrimination and stigma that comes from getting your kid adopted, and it makes parents who leave their child to orphanages unwilling to get their kids adopted. its also the source of stigma surrounding single mothers and children born out of wedlock. (hey guys guess whos both a kid born out of wedlock AND an orphan?????) NOTE: this is how i understand the concept of koseki so far, and i may not be 100% right bc that shit confuses the fuck out of me. idk. japan why

so yall know how obsessed goro is with being perfect—perfect grades, perfect public image, perfect everything? as it turns out, theres this stupid idea in japan thats widely accepted that “everything from your taste in food to the language you speak is biologically pre-determined” now that makes a shit ton of sense, considering the kind of person shido is. that fucking asshole. holy fuck.

Japan’s Forgotten Children

it says here that about 4,000 children were formally adopted out of the system, as opposed to an earlier article that says 303. i dont know which one is true.

this entire paragraph:

“Last month, a Chukyo Television director who was documenting this problem, asked a high government official why Japan had such a system, as opposed to promoting adoption and foster care like other developed nations. The man, whom I respect for his honesty, basically said that after the war there were many children without parents. At that time, many orphanages were built. So, that became Japan’s system to this day. Let me translate that for you…There are many jobs involved in this system. Plus, we don’t like change.”

orphanages run by the government receive funding based on how much kids they have, so more kids = more money, and that basically is also one of the reasons why no ones making an effort to get these kids out of the system. the kids are their means of getting free fucking money.

the government isnt trying to remedy this problem bc it doesnt want change, at least according to this guy named yamanta tokuji. hes an ex-child welfare worker who wants change, to put it simply.

he also says that living in orphanages for years damages a childs well being and behaviour. some who end up in family environments can develop reactive attachment disorder in which they regress to behaving like a baby.

the government wont tackle the issue “because it doesn’t want to know the truth and thus be forced to change.” yamantas opinion again

look, before anything else, i dont condone what goros done. shits fucked up, kids killed a whole lotta ppl, and he didnt fucking hesitate to pull the damn trigger on akira, but since this is fiction, context is important. if youre one of those people who simply dismissed goros character and went “eh. hes fucking evil with daddy issues” im just….. :(, bc you fucking missed the entire point of his character. its important to note hes the only teenage antagonist in a game where the adults are the Bad Guys™. i dont remember where i read this, but i (sorta) quote: hes a warning of what couldve happened to the phantom thieves, without morgana, without the support system that they had, without the positive influences that made them decide to do what they did. even yusuke acknowledges this, once they come back from shidos palace after Hell™ happened (i would have put a link to a photo, but where the fuck do i even find a pic of it).

i think that people seem to misunderstand goros character simply because of really fucking bad writing atlus COME THE FUCK ON they forget that theyre playing a game based on japan, where culture and society are very different from theirs, and in turn they dont understand the context behind goros backstory and how japans society views orphans and illegitimate children can really fuck with a kid, and okay, just because youre either of the two doesnt mean youll resort to murder, but 1) this is a modern fantasy game, where cats can become buses and fake gods can force a lonely kid who happens to be a wild card into the depths of hell, come on, 2) goro wasnt even the one who came up with the murders, it was shido. he fucking bragged about it in his boss fight you fucking monkeys!!!! i forgot to mention this, but shido also threatens goro if he ever so much expresses doubt

its also because of bad writing. its mostly because of bad writing. god. goro deserves better than this

goro was a vulnerable kid with powers, and that made him a perfect puppet for shido. imagine if he had known about changing hearts sooner, because no one ever told him about it. imagine if he was able to bring his wild card ability to its full potential, and dont even get me started with the fact that he was a wild card user. this post about wild cards and goro really makes you think, but that isnt the point of this post, so

anyway its 2 am im tired Good Night Have A Swell Night Sir

[crisisdragonfly]

Tonight’s ramble is about insomnia

It took me a long time to figure out why I couldn’t sleep at night

Now it’s glaringly obvious, but I used to be so withdrawn and afraid of my own shadow that I couldn’t think for myself. I couldn’t decipher obvious clues and details that would have helped me understand myself and others. 

In fact, by the time I left my guardians’ custody, I was so terrified of everything that when my dad gave me his credit card (I was around maybe 18 or 19 at the time?) and told me to go pay for a book I wanted, I just stared at him. I didn’t understand why he was letting me do something on my own or why he would trust me with his money. 

After all, I was always told I was no good. I’d never amount to anything, I was worthless and stupid. And since I believed that, I was pretty stupid. He continued to insist that I go up to the counter, and so I did. Shaking like a leaf because I didn’t know how to interact with people, I waited for the cashier to tell me what to do, because as I said, I was never allowed to do this before. 

 It was extremely embarrassing, not to mention mortifying for me. My face felt like it was on fire during the whole transaction. I was shaking, my heart was hammering inside my chest and none of it could be over soon enough. 

Thats a bit off the topic of insomnia, but I wanted to illustrate how very ignorant of the world and my own abilities I was when I was a kid. 

Back on to the topic, I recently discovered during some introspection, like within the past few years, that my insomnia is probably trauma based? Since I don’t have a therapist, I’m not diagnosed or anything, but I can’t sleep very well. I haven’’t been able to in a long time. I wake up after 6 hours tops, and thats only if I’m exhausted. It takes me hours to go back to sleep after that. If I’m not exhausted when I go to sleep, I will wake up in three hours, even if I’m taking sleeping medication, and always, without fail, if someone opens my bedroom door while I’m asleep, I will immediately wake up. 

If someone calls my name when I’m asleep, I bolt upright and my heart is already racing. No control over it. 

As I said, it was only recently that I made the connection that the reason I don’t sleep well, or always immediately wake up if someone opens my bedroom door is most likely because while the physical and verbal abuse happened at all hours of the day, the sexual abuse happened at night after I’d gone to sleep. 

This is where it gets hard to talk about. 

The other abuse went on from the time I was around 6 until I left, but the sexual abuse started when I was around 10. It was after we (my guardians, me, and my siblings) all made a big move out into the boonies, in the middle of a forest, hours away from any friends or family, that it started. 

He would come into my room at night, long after I’d fallen asleep. He’d either stay there and slip into my tiny twin bed, or he’d pick me up after his wife left for work at 4am, and take me into his bedroom. 

Most of the time, I was too groggy to fight him off. Even if I pushed away, or said no, he would just grip tighter and laugh and talk about how he’d heard girls make a lot of sounds when he did stuff to them, but never a no. 

I was a little kid, I couldn’t fight a grown ass man, especially not at 4am. 

I remember crying after he was done, but I couldn’t do it out loud. I was too afraid to wake him up, so I just laid in the bed after he was done, and he was sleeping. Sometimes one of my siblings would be sleeping in the bed, and he’d pretend it was a game to see if he could do stuff to me without waking his kid up. 

I didn’t end up telling my other guardian about the sexual abuse until I was 13. I remember, she was watching some sort of movie about a rape victim on tv. Some lifetime nonsense, and I was really uncomfortable, I sat there talking myself up the courage to tell her in my head, but eventually I stopped thinking and just blurted it out.

At first she was pissed and crying and telling me it would be okay and she would get to the bottom of it. Then she went outside and called her friend and told her friend about it, crying on the phone in a whole pity party for herself, barely mentioning me. 

By now, as an adult I understand that she had a lot of her own issues, but I’d always thought if she was a mom, she would protect me. She would do what was right and help me. I was just a kid and she was supposed to be my mom. 

So a few hours went by and my abuser came home, and they spoke to each other outside for a while. He obviously denied ever doing anything, and I guess that was enough for her, because her next words were accusing me of lying, and then immediately implying I’d just had a really vivid dream that it happened and believed it. 

My abuser faked tears during the encounter and was like “why are you doing this” 

They were so insistent, that for a little while I did wonder if I’d made everything up. 

Then a few days later, the man confessed to doing it. He told her he would stop, and that was enough for her, apparently. Nothing else was done.

Less than a year later, it started again. And thats when I knew I couldn’t trust anyone to help me, it didn’t matter if I told anyone. If the person who was supposed to be my mom wouldn’t listen, why would anyone?