#but. i dunno man. that book is so much more than just gays in space ffs

[lvllns]

every time i see someone say that the darkness outside is a romance set in space i’m like. not.......really.

[tboybuck]

wip wednesday snippet from ch2 of greatest hits

ch2 coming to ao3 this upcoming saturday

“Hey,” Steve says. He’s laying on his side, facing Eddie, his cheek smushed against the pillow as he looks at him. Eddie looks back, feeling a little like he’s drowning; Steve’s face is in shadow, his hair haloed by the lamplight behind him. “On a scale of one to ten, how weird was it?”

Eddie sighs. So they’re really doing this. Talking about it.

“I dunno, man, it was…” Thrilling. Humiliating. Insanely hot.

“Kinda hot, right?”

Hold on. Kinda what? 

“Steve -”

“You were into it.”

“Are you making fun of me right now?”

“No,” Steve says with a laugh. “C’mon, man. You were into it. I was into it. It’s only gay if you make it gay.”

“Yeah, I think me being gay kinda makes it gay, Harrington.”

There. He said it. It’s out there now.

“Oh,” Steve breathes.

“Yeah. Oh.”

“I mean. You know I don’t - you know I’m totally cool with that. Because, like. Robin.”

“This is a little different.”

“Sure, but…” Steve isn’t looking at him. “Not necessarily in a bad way.”

“Listen, I can go sleep downstairs. If you want, like, some space or whatever.”

“Don’t be stupid. I told you. It doesn’t matter.”

“Not even after…?”

Steve smiles. He finally looks up at Eddie, turning over onto his back and curling an arm behind his head to see him better. 

“Nah. Makes more sense now, though. Why you were so into it.”

“Now you are making fun of me.”

“I’m not, I swear.” Steve smiles at him again, but this time the energy behind it is different. It makes Eddie’s heart race, makes him want to run. “We could always… do it again.”

They shouldn’t. Eddie really should put a stop to this, if for no other reason than to save his own fucking sanity. He half lost his mind the last time, and this time, if they do it again, it will be with the knowledge that Eddie is doing it because he likes it. There’s no way this is normal, just something that guys do.

Eddie remembers, vaguely, the time he and Gareth found Gareth’s dad’s stash of Playboys; it’s been years ago now, when they were still in middle school. They’d been just a couple of boys in the throes of puberty and Eddie had still been trying to parse out exactly who he was. That had never progressed any further than uncomfortable giggles about boobs and bush.

That had been nothing like this.

“This is a terrible idea.”

Eddie doesn’t put a stop to it. He doesn't say no. He doesn’t tell Steve, I don’t want to be your experiment, because it’s a lie. He doesn’t say, I won’t be able to keep this platonic, because it’s true.

Steve reaches behind himself to click off the lamp, and they are plunged into darkness.

Eddie can’t help but think he would be taking advantage of Steve if he gives in to this. Steve should think about it, he should examine why he enjoys masturbating with other guys. They shouldn’t do this, not when Eddie has more skin in the game than Steve does. The mattress moves a little as Steve shifts on the bed. It’s so fucking quiet in here Eddie wonders if Steve can hear the way his heart is pounding, the way his breathing has quickened.

“Eddie?”

“Hmm?”

“What’s it like?”

“What’s… what, like?”

Hesitation for a moment, and then, “Guys. Y’know… sex…”

Eddie scoffs, rolling his eyes at himself in the darkness. “I wouldn’t know. I, uh, I haven’t actually gotten the chance.”

It’s silent for a while, and Eddie is just beginning to think maybe Steve won’t try and goad him into this.

“Well, how would it, uh…” Steve trails off here, like he’s unsure of what he’s trying to ask.

Eddie puts on his most teasing, suggestive tone and asks, “Do you want me to explain the mechanics of gay sex to you, Harrington? Should I go into detail?”

“Oh, Jesus Christ.” It comes out a little muffled, like Steve’s got his face covered. Eddie laughs a little. It’s nice hearing him squirm. Feels kinda... powerful. “How did you learn if you’ve never done it?”

“Books, skin mags. The ancient Greeks did it all the time, apparently. They fucked so much there’s like, paintings on pottery and shit.”

“No shit?”

“No shit. The how is common sense if you think about it. Straight people do butt stuff all the time.”

“Oh, my god,” Steve says. He sounds flustered.

“You asked!”

tag list: @delta-piscium @matchingbatbites @rugbertgoeshome @outpastthebrakers @helixferrano

[eolewyn1010]

Dragging Frankenstein - prologue

Well, fuck it; I miss posting more various stuff of my own instead of just reblogging, so I'll post the snark I have bestowed on Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. Don't be misled; it's a hell of an interesting read if one can get over the Regency prose, but the protagonist pisses me off to unholy degrees, so I shan't be too respectful. I'll do it my way, with only arbitrary regards to the lingual differences between Now and Then (rule of Funny goes, folks) and with my silly little counters. Don't take to seriously. Onward to the prologue, and one Captain Robert Walton, who is not our protagonist!

“in a country of eternal light” – wtf, Walton? Does he mean polar days? Bc those are not eternal, but then he does spout a lot of purple prose (and so does the entire book).

And more weird fantasizing – “passage at the pole”, what’s that supposed to be good for? “secret of the magnet”???

“my education was much neglected” – yeah, stop marveling at your self-taught brilliance already; I swear, Walton and Victor both are so egotistical it’s no miracle they can take an interest only in one another.

Also, Walton had an emo poet phase. And his Chemical Romance didn’t take off. LOL.

“worked harder than the common sailors” – sure you did, you spoiled little rich kid. “preferred glory to luxury” – I’m getting distinct Stede Bonnet vibes here, and in a very Privileged White Guy way. And he keeps exotizing Russia. I SO PRIVILEGED: 1

“longing for a friend” calls in the Gay™, and after bashing his so-beneath-him sailors for a bit, it settles in with “I desire the company of a man […] whose eyes would reply to mine. You may deem me romantic…” Counter starts now. DAS GAY: 2

“shall certainly find no friend on the ocean” – yeah, chill out, we saw your subtle foreshadowing. Why does he keep telling his SISTER how his early life went??

His “best years spent under your gentle and feminine fosterage” leading to a distaste of brutality is ever so slightly sexist in several directions, but it also rings in the theme of every goddamn female character being cast in the light of a maternal figure – even when that is not the relation in which she stands to the character in question. EVERY WOMAN IS A MOM: 1

Whyyyyy does the gossip about his ship master’s failed love story take up so much space? I dunno this guy???

“as silent as a Turk”, “ignorant” and “savage inhabitant of some island” – oh, hai, racism!

Is one single dog really strong enough to pull a sledge with a person plus luggage on it?

Funny how Walton describes Victor as all emaciated and shit, and yet goes insta-thirsty like “must have been a noble creature in his better days, being even now in wreck so attractive and amiable” – and Victor is “uneasy when anyone except myself enters his cabin”, gotcha. DAS GAY: 4

And five minutes after knowing him, Walton declares him the “brother of my heart”, and his “affection for my guest increases every day”. DAS GAY: 6

The unfounded praises of Victor being “wise, noble, gentle” get on my nerves, but imagine my eyebrows at the lines “a groan burst from his heaving breast” and “my thirst for a more intimate sympathy”. Because… huh. DAS GAY: 7

Bitch, where do you get off calling your sister fastidious? She probably had the same education you did! Get your ego out here.

Walton’s crush on Frankenstein is already getting old; does he need to gush about him like he’s the bees’ knees? He doesn’t know this asshole at all! “his lustrous eyes with their melancholy sweetness” – ok, Walton needs to get laid. DAS GAY: 8

What a queer intro, and no, I don't plan to stop making fun of this kind of language. It's the only redeeming grace of these characters.

[fictropes]

oh boy i sure did write many words in 2020

Hi! I am copying people due to i want to.  This is a lil (well... 63) round up of all the fics I wrote this year! Cos i’m very evil @ myself and writing fic and think i’m either not doing enough, or not doing it good enough, so i wanna full list of what I actually did so I can see my own accomplishments and can maybe... clap 4 myself for once. And honestly writing has helped MASSIVELY with my depression so.. that’s a bonus. 

ALSO. this is a big huge thankyou to everyone! I only joined here + started writing in august and you’ve all been so so nice and welcoming and supportive  <333 ;_; and I know they say write for yourself... but honestly peoples comments and excitement about my stuff has just been really, really lovely and I would never have written this much without all of you cheering me on<3. 

so here is a list of everything i’ve written, organised by length and everything, so if you find yourself bored over the holidays... have a lil browse. (Sorry if u are on mobile and this doesn’t show as a read more) 

Chaptered:

Can we try again? series (M) Complete - 35k  - “Yeah, Phil. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Dan answers, softer than he’d wanted because he already knows what he’s about to do next.(or Dan doesn't turn up in 2009 and bumps into Phil 11 years later at a youtube convention 2. I like cupcakes, especially the gay variety (M) Complete - 30k - Firstly, Dan was 29. How was that a mature student?Secondly, his actual book was on the university fucking syllabus.(or the one in which Dan tries university again in a desperate attempt to prolong his procrastination, and his lecturer Phil is apparently something of a fan) 3. 7 Letters series (M) Complete - 9k - Your penpal can be the person you live with, actually. 4. There's Beans in Here (T) Complete - 2k - Phil has his wisdom teeth removed; Phil says many questionable things. 5. Roadtrip (E) Complete - 8k - “Exactly. I am right, as always.”“As always.” Dan agrees.Series 6. night shift, please (E) Wip - 27k I PROMISE THIS WILL COME BACK IN 2021 - Ten years and he’ll never get over how early he has to get up sometimes. In all honesty he prefers the night shift. 7. Still Not Calling it Fate (M) Wip - 14k - It’s become a bit of a thing, a bit of a thing that everyone he crosses paths with takes the piss out of him for 8. when i met you, a blue rush began (M) Complete - 5k - They end up in a small restaurant overlooking the sea, everything here is so blue. The sky, the sea, Phil’s eyes, the shirt he’s wearing buttoned up all the way to the top. 9. Luggage Tags (E) Complete - 2.5k - Just because it looks like your suitcase, it doesn't necessarily mean that it is. 10. Demon in the sack (E) Complete - 2.5k - Dan’s leg jiggles beneath his desk, knee hitting the table as he tries to force himself to hang up and ring the number he was supposed to ring— he doesn’t, he can’t. Long ( for me) oneshots (3k+) 11. Electronics and the Phil's who break them (M) Complete - 9k - The first time’s an accident, a proper accident— a Phil forgot how to hold his cup and now he’s watching his coffee seep into his keyboard type accident. 12. A Letter of Specifics (T) Complete - 4k - You'll know it's your soulmate because no one else on earth could be doing what they're doing. 13. The Benefits of A Weak Floor (M) Complete - 4k - He quite literally falls through Dan’s ceiling. 14. 10:35 on a Thursday (E) Complete -  3.7k - He’s tapping his pen against the paper, acting as though he isn’t asking Phil to take a sex quiz at 10:35am on a Thursday morning. 15. 2009, catboys (T) Complete - 3.2k - “You have your own ears, can’t have four.”“Why?” 16. Wrong Room (T) Complete - 3k - “Congratulations!’’ And he was expecting to hear a cry, or at least his mother telling him to be quiet because a certain baby was sleeping. Instead he heard the deep clear of a throat, a rustling of sheets. 2k-3k oneshots 17. Dinner with a stranger (T) Complete - 2.5k - @amazingphl hi! second year of doing this, sooo if anyone has nowhere to go for Christmas dinner I am once again offering..my flat (and by extension me) ;oSeries 18. Easy Lover (M) Complete - 2.4k - ''Yeah. We're always fine.'' It was always fine. It was always easy, despite always behind hard. 19. Cold Season (M) Complete - 2k - Dan is ill, insatiable and another word beginning with I. 1k-2k oneshots 20. Morose men on rooftops (T) Complete - 1.9k - “Dunno, maybe chatting up morose men on roofs is my thing.” He laughs, and it’s a nice noise. 21. Love with tongues of fire (T) Complete - 1.7k - So when Dan waltzed into the room, declaring his hunger Phil thought nothing of it. Just another night for another takeaway. 22. Your Rocks are my Rocks (T) Complete - 1.7k - Phil wants a new rock for Norman, Dan wants a peaceful life. 23. Joint Content (M) Complete - 1.6k - It started of a as a joke— a Joint Content joke. 24. 24/7 Fantasies (M) Complete - 1.5k - He thinks about Dan 24/7, constantly in two separate fantasies 25. A Conversation in Multiple Hallways (T) Complete - 1.5k - You're still here then? 26. Sharing Space (T) Complete - 1.5k - It's 2010 and dan has had a day. 27. The Obvious (T) Complete - 1.5k - "Can I use that?” He doesn’t wait for an answer, already scrawling it beneath the only three words he currently has— I love you. 28. I'm Thinking of Ending Things��(T) Complete - 1.5k - Dan hears half a conversation, jumps to one whole conclusion. 29. Love Language of the Tactile (T) Complete - 1.4k - “I’m just— that’s a hypothetical.” Dan leans in this time, takes the touches that Phil always so freely gives away. “Can’t kiss in secret rooms if I leave.” 30. Don't Let the Self-Doubt Ruin You (T) Complete - 1.3k - “I’m here.” “Yeah, you’re here.” 31. Conflict Resolution (T) Complete - 1.3k - Following recent events we’ve decided it best we take a combative approach to your current workplace issues, we have booked you into a conflict resolution class this Thursday afternoon - we will not be paying you to attend. 32. when it comes to love (i want a slow hand) (E) Complete - 1.2k - And there it is, the refusal of anything in return. This is just for Dan and it always will be. 33. You're Still The one (T) Complete - 1.1k - “What’re you thinking about?” “You.” 34. Teach Me, Dad. (T) Complete - 1k - "Do you think I could be the next Mozart?” 35. The Logistics of a Clone (M) Complete - 1k - “I don’t think that’s a clone, though, like maybe more of a Doppelgänger.” Dan doesn’t know why they’re delving so deep into this, why he’s so damn bothered about being right. “It’s just literally you.” 36. All's fair in Love and Monopoly (T) Complete - 1k - Phil does not play by the rules, Dan lets him win anyway. Under 1k oneshots 37. Hide out in your heart (E)  Complete - 0.9k - The second time Dan comes to visit it’s different. 38. Oh, there you are. (G) Complete - 0.9k - So after all this, after everything, he doesn’t think anything of it when someone else slips into his dms. 39. The Boy has Attitude (T) Complete - 0.9k - “You didn’t tell me you looked like this.”“Like what?”“This!” Phil’s waving a physical copy of the magazine in his face— so that’s where he’d been. 40. Hairties (and how not to use them) (M) Complete - 0.8k - “Why would you do that? Let us settle in, nice and slow and— gently does it.” 41. The Second Apartment. (T) Complete - 0.8k - It’s a stop-gap apartment, a we’re going to get our forever home after this. 42. Japan, 2019. (G) Complete - 0.8k - NO summary, just an obviously I was going to write this after phil's post 43. Doting Man (T) Complete - 0.7k - They’re both drunk, Phil more so— definitely more so.Series 44.  Imposter (T) Complete - 0.7k - Among us is.. a bastard. 45. Ratemyprofessors.com (M) Complete - 0.7k - ‘Maybe if that Phil bloke from the English dep he’s always staring at fucked him he’d stop being so uptight’ 46. Failed Attempts (T) Complete - 0.7k - Dan enlists the help of Phil for his latest Instagram. 47. Bonus Prize (M) Complete - 0.7k - Phil Trash Number One 48. Feels like home (G) Complete - 0.7k - Home is where the Phil is. 49. We can make Forever work (T) Complete - 0.7k - It’s a moment of realising forever may sound too much to people, but we’ll get through everything together— we don’t have any other choice. 50. Scene in the Kitchen (T) Complete - 0.7k - New place 51. 4'11 (T) Complete - 0.6k - Dan is baby 52. Pillow Imprints (T) Complete - 0.6k - Dan is a menace, and Phil loves him anyway. 53. Parachute Jacket (T) Complete - 0.5k - Dan thinks Phil is obsessed with them Those few times I thougt I was goddamn Ri**ard S*ken 54. Home (G) Complete - 0.7k - It’s their forever home, because their actual forever lives inside of it. 55. secrets spoken in empty rooms (T) Complete - 1k - So he wants to be the same, but he wants Dan more. 56. Separately Together  (T) Complete - 0.9k - Phil’s soft hands and even softer words. It gets harder to leave. Gets to the point where Dan turns off an alarm just so he misses the train. 57. It's not hard to fall (T) Complete - 0.7k - Still a little bit of your words I long to hear Some more Epistolary (apart from 7 letters)  58. A Play in One Act (T) Complete - 1.1k - [Manchester Piccadilly train-station, midday, October 19th, 2009.] 59. R/AITA (T) Complete - 0.8k - AM I THE ASSHOLE FOR MAKING MY BOYFRIEND BE A WORM?Series 60. Lonely Hearts (T) Complete - 1.8k - I will not say you were crying on the tube (out of politeness) 61. Conversations of the Lazy Kind (T) Complete - 1k - eggs? wot? Smells like eggs

[exhaustedfander]

Oh, Bi the Way [Analogical]

Here’s a fun little Analogical highschool au where Virgil comes out as Bi to Logan. Reblogs and feedback are really appreciated! 

a03 link

word count: 2,351

Virgil paces tight circles in his bedroom, his hands woven in his hair as his mind runs rampant. He glances out the window, the daylight golden and fading outside. Logan will be here soon, he realizes with dread, his heart hammering even faster at the thought.

I shouldn’t be this fucking nervous, he thinks to himself as if most things in life don’t make him anxious. Virgil’s been plagued by horrible anxiety for most of his life, but this really isn’t something that should be putting the pit in his stomach that it is.

But he’s been hiding something – is still hiding something and it’s so goddamn stupid. It really isn’t a big deal. He should be able to go ahead and say it no problem. Except Virgil’s stupid brain has to make things so fucking complicated, doesn’t it?! It has to mess with him and make him think that maybe people are going to freak out and maybe it’s going to be a total disaster.

He’s bisexual.

Yeah, yeah. He knows it isn’t a big deal. Tons of people are queer, and he just happens to be one of them. For fuck’s sake, his best friend Logan is gay! It’s not his fault that no one had told him there was an in-between. He was anxious enough about crushes on girls so once he figured out boys too? Well, he didn’t have the balls to tell anyone.

Sometimes he blamed it on the fact that he grew up in the foster system. Getting shuffled around from home to home the way he did, he didn’t exactly have a chance to get a good set of parents to teach him the ins-and-outs of the LGBTQ+ community. He was a fourteen-year-old getting bounced around, not even trying to get close to any of the people whose care he was under because in a blink of an eye, they’d be gone.

And then he’d gotten adopted by the Knight-Hart’s. It was still what Virgil was probably the most grateful for in his life. He was fourteen-in-a-half, having lost hope of being adopted years ago and yet here he was, brought into the home of two of the sweetest people he’d ever met.

It’s so stupid – Virgil’s parents are gay! He’s got two dads and he can’t even tell them he’s bi? Why does his brain hate him so much?! His fathers’ have helped him so much in the few years he’s been in their care, bringing more happiness and joy into his life than he’d known in so long. His Pops is always making dad jokes that Virgil can pretend he despises all he wants, but really, they crack him up. He’s such a kind, good-hearted guy who’s been nothing but supportive of Virgil since day one. His dad is no different in that respect, loving just the same but with a bit more bravado and eccentricities. What can he say? His dad’s an actor and his flair for the dramatics fail to surprise Virgil any longer.

He loves them. He really loves them but it’s still so hard to think about coming out to them, let alone Logan. God, Logan’s going to be there anytime now!

Virgil continues his pacing, trying his best to steady his breathing. If he can muster up the courage, he’s going to tell him. Virgil’s going to come out to his best friend.

After everything the pair’s been through, Logan deserves to know. Virgil met John in the beginning of high school, a time where he found it almost impossible to make friends of any kind. Virgil’s anxiety and self-doubt made having a mere successful conversation feel like an accomplishment of some kind. He didn’t think he’d ever get the chance to have a true friend, let alone a best friend. But when he met Logan that all changed.

Despite Virgil’s hesitations, they got along famously right away. Although Logan was far stiffer and more out of touch with pop-culture than anyone Virgil had ever met (Seriously, he pronounced “fam” as fahm) he was also an incredibly smart and interesting person who Virgil was proud to know. Logan could tell him so many interesting facts about outer-space or the ocean and was always really good about handling Virgil’s anxiety. Virgil had never met someone who he clicked with so instantaneously before, they just got each other. Even if they were spending time together doing separate things, Virgil was thankful to merely be in Logan’s presence. He kept him grounded.

So, of course he fell hard for him. it’s not like Virgil doesn’t know that there’s a change that his feelings are reciprocated, it isn’t impossible. Just unlikely, and damn does it sure feel impossible. Virgil’s been spending the nearly four years he’s known Logan trying to convince himself that he’s straight as an arrow and doesn’t feel anything for Logan – neither of which things are true, of course.

The two friends are going to the same college, so it isn’t like Virgil’s gonna have any room to breathe and get other his feelings. He’s been dancing around things for so long, and frankly it’s getting kind of exhausting. Virgil isn’t expecting Logan to feel the same way – god, he’s never been that much of an optimist in all his life – but telling him is something Virgil’s decided he has to go through with.

If he can manage to muster up the courage, that is.

Logan arrives, punctual as always and beautiful as ever. Logan’s the only kid Virgil’s ever met who wears a tie almost daily, claiming such attire is an attribute of his “seriousness.” Hah, as if Virgil doesn’t know about his unicorn onesie, not that he’d tell anyone about it. He’ll let Logan keep up the “serious” act, if that’s what he wants. It suits him, anyhow.

Virgil’s going to give it a minute, he decides, and they start to do their homework in relative silence. This is no oddity for the pair, they often spend time over at each other’s homes after school to do work or catch up or both. But Virgil’s heart isn’t usually beating out of his chest when he’s doing his fucking APLit homework. He told himself he was just going to take a minute to collect his thoughts before breaking the silence, but god, it’s been like thirty minutes at least and he hasn’t said anything and he’s getting too fucking nervous and he doesn’t think he can do this and –

“Virgil?” Logan’s voice cuts through the haze of his mind, voice calm and collected.

“Uh – yeah?” Virgil replies dumbly, his eyes snapping up to meet Logan’s gaze. Logan shuts his book, moving from his spot at Virgil’s desk to sitting beside him on his bed, a look of concern etched into his face.

“Are you alright? You seem distressed, and you’ve been reading that same page for over five minutes now.”

Shit, Virgil hadn’t even noticed. Logan’s question has offered him the perfect Segway to what he wants to say, it couldn’t have been laid out better. Except…Virgil can’t do this. He’s too nervous, and his hands are trembling, and this is going to be an absolute train-wreck.

“I’m fine,” Virgil mutters, hoping Logan will just drop it. He just wants to burry himself in his own cowardice, thank you very much. “Just a little distracted, I guess.”

“Forgive me if I don’t believe you,” Logan’s voice is even and steady, so the opposite of how Virgil’s feeling, “but you appear to be very nervous. For several days now, your anxiety has appeared to be heightened. I didn’t want to voice my…” Logan swallows thickly, “…concerns, fearing it might only worsen things. But I must confess, I’m getting a bit worried.”

Well fuck, is all Virgil can think. Logan, in the absolute sweetest way possible, has backed him into a corner. Evidently, Logan’s been worried about him and the thought makes his stomach turn. He hadn’t even realized he was acting any more nervous than he usually does.

"I don’t suppose you won’t just drop this for a while?” Virgil asks with a fleeting hope that maybe he can escape this in one piece.

“I’m afraid not.” Virgil sighs. It figures.

“Okay. Okay, you’re going to think this is so fucking stupid.”

“I highly doubt that. When was the last time I reacted in such a way to you telling me something?” Logan makes a good point, as Virgil can’t remember a recent instance.

“I mean, sure, but this is really dumb, L. I’ve kinda been trying to tell you this for forever, but, big surprise, I’m really anxious about it.” Virgil flinches as he feels a hand settle onto his shoulder, seeing the sincere concern in Logan’s eyes.

“Whatever it is you want to tell me, I’m here, Virgil. I’m your friend and your fears are not baseless or dumb. It’s okay to be afraid.” Virgil’s pulse hammers in his ears as he nods, taking a shaky breath.

“Yeah alright…s-so uh, I’m bi.” Virgil nervously ducks his head, his eyes landing on the carpet. It’s not like it would make sense for Logan to react poorly, but like, what if he did?

“Well, thank you for telling me, Virgil. How long have you –.”

“I dunno, a while,” Virgil interrupts, still not looking at Logan, “See? I told you, stupid.” “I never said stupid. You aren’t stupid for not coming out until now, there is no time limit or restrictions when it comes to identity. I’m glad you told me, Virge. Thank you, I know that it can be very hard to do so.” Virgil finally feels confident enough to meet Logan’s eyes, a lopsided smile forming on his face.

“Thanks, man. That kinda makes me feel better. You’re, uh, the first person I’ve told. I wanted it to be you who I told first, that is. Cuz, you know, we’re…” Virgil hesitates, struggling through the words “such good friends.” The pressure on his shoulder reseeds and is replaced at his hand where Logan has laced their fingers together. Virgil feels a shiver run down his spine.

“Is that all you wanted to tell me, or was there something else as well?” Virgil can feel the heat radiating off of him, knowing his cheeks are going crimson. Fuck, fuck Logan knows. He knows and he’s pitying him.

“I – uhh –,” Virgil sputters, incredibly dignified.

“I only ask because you still seem to be rather nervous. I’m not trying to provoke you and I apologize if that’s what I’ve made you to believe. I’m –.”

“I’m also, uh, kinda really in love with you.” Virgil can’t help it, it just comes up like word vomit. He can’t believe he just said that! He’s sure any second now Logan’s going to let go of his hand and push him away. He’s sure Logan will leave and never come back, and he’ll have lost his best friend.

“You…you are?” Logan doesn’t sound outraged or disgusted. He sounds relieved.

“Uh, y-yeah. Shit, did I just make things weird?” From the way Virgil finds Logan taking a fistful of Virgil’s hoodie and pulling him into a kiss, he’s inclined to believe that no, he didn’t just make things weird. The embrace is clumsy at first, their teeth knocking before Virgil’s hands are laced in Logan’s hair, melting into this kiss.

“I love you too, in case that wasn’t clear,” Logan says breathlessly as they part, their foreheads pressed together. Virgil laughs, relief washing over him in waves.

“Fuck, L, I thought I was about to lose you as a friend or something. I never entertained the thought that…”

“That I’ve been in love with you for years?” Virgil’s lips curled into a smirk.

“Years, huh?” He asks, as if he probably hasn’t loved Logan for just as long unknowingly.

“And here I’ve been, suffering in the belief that you were heterosexual. And you know my stance on feelings.” Virgil laughs, kissing Logan again and wondering how quickly you can become addicted to something because holy shit, this is amazing.

“Yeah, yeah, their “the bane of your existence” and all that.”

“Priestley.”

“Full disclosure, there’s no way I’m finishing my homework now,” Virgil says. Logan swats him.

“You horrid delinquent.” Virgil chuckles again, throwing his arms around Logan and pulling him into a bone-crushing hug. For two boys who claim to be averse to most physical contact, they seem to be enjoying themselves a fair amount.

“Okay, this is probably a stupid question, but are we a thing now?”

“Are you asking to be my boyfriend?”

“Maaaaybe.”

“Well then I accept. I find your presence to be tolerable.” Virgil snorts, holding Logan closer than he ever has and never wanting to let him go before a thought comes to mind.

“Hey, L?”

“Mm?”

“You wanna stay for dinner and help me come out to my dads?” Virgil can’t believe it, but for once in his life he’s feeling brave. Logan’s made him feel brave.

“I would be more than happy to offer my assistance.” Virgil grins. “It’s gonna be great because they already love you, I mean, you’re so fuckin’ smart, and nice, and cute, and –.” “You’re rambling, Virge.” Virgil pulls away to see the flush on Logan’s cheeks.

“Aww, you’re embarrassed!”

“I absolutely am not.”

“Lo?” “Yes, Virgil?” The fondness in Logan’s tone was just about to kill him it was so sweet. Virgil kisses him again, long and slow, his hands planted firmly above Logan’s waist. His boyfriend – oh my god, he has a boyfriend! – continues to lean in, even as he pulls away. There’s no way Virgil’s ever going to recover from the cuteness.

“I love you.” Logan sighs contently.

“I love you too, Virge.”

“Virgil, honey, dinner’s ready!” Virgil’s Pops calls from downstairs. Virgil and Logan share a somewhat nervous, lovesick glance.

"Let’s go tell my dad’s I’m bi as fuck and have an insanely nerdy boyfriend,” Virgil says as he gets up from the bed, earning a chuckle from Logan. Logan grips onto his hand.

“Lead the way.”

=+=

[violetwolfraven]

From the prompt ask any era #25 and #29 for javid, with a hint of sprace

Our mutual friends set us up.

and

I didn’t realize I was gay for you until someone else pointed it out and I’m a dumbass but can I be your dumbass?

Modern era it is! I don’t write enough of that.

...

“Y’know, this is on us,” Davey admitted, “We should’ve known Race wouldn’t want to show us an empty barn.”

Jack nodded in agreement, “We’re stupid. Yeah. So, how’re we gonna get out of here?”

Davey had no idea, honestly.

He didn’t really know why Race and Spot had decided to buy a farm out in the middle of nowhere, but it was useful for the yearly 4th of July party. There was enough space for everyone, and fresh eggs were definitely better than the store-bought kind.

And there was a big, empty barn that Spot and Race had supposedly been fixing up so they could get a horse, which conveniently already had doors that locked to keep coyotes out.

And no cell service, given that the barn was out of the WiFi’s range and the farm itself was in the middle of nowhere.

They really should’ve known that Race wouldn’t show them an empty barn as if it was exciting, even if he and Spot had been working pretty hard on it.

Long story short, Davey and Jack were locked in a very sturdy barn with no way out.

“So,” Davey said, looking around, “Why do ya think they locked us in here?”

“Does it matter?”

Davey shrugged, “Chances are, Spot and Race are listening somehow. They won’t let us out until whatever it is they’re hopin’ for happens. And I have no idea what they want, so you probably do.”

Jack looked like he was thinking, and then realization flashed across his face.

“Those little shits.”

“What is it?”

Jack laughed in a terrified kind of way, then shouted to the rafters, “You can just let us out, Race, cause it ain’t gonna happen!”

“What ain’t gonna happen?”

“Spot, I expect this shit from Race, but from you it’s just disappointin’!”

“What is it?” Davey asked again, “What do they want?”

Jack sighed, “It’s nothin’, Davey.”

Davey punched his best friend in the shoulder lightly, “It’s clearly not nothing, so what is it?”

He didn’t answer.

“Jack.”

“Look, it’s none of your business.”

“They ain’t gonna let us out unless we talk about whatever this is,” Davey pointed out, “So just tell me what the problem is.”

“I can’t.”

Jack wasn’t meeting his eyes, which was... weird, to say the least.

Whatever this was, he was nervous about it. He thought Davey would disapprove of... whatever it was?

Of course, that made a million scenarios pop up in Davey’s brain, and he had to push away ideas of drugs, gang activity, and a bunch of other horrible things Jack might think wouldn’t end well if he tried to come to Davey for help about them. He had to have more faith in his best friend than that.

“Jackie, look at me.”

Slowly, clearly reluctantly, Jack did.

“There’s nothing you could say that would make me leave ya,” Davey said firmly, “You’re my best friend. Whatever it is Spot and Race think it’s so important for me to know, I’ll do whatever I can to help.”

Jack snorted, “Oh, I don’t need help on anythin’. My secret ain’t the dangerous kind—it’d just make things weird.”

“What things?”

“You and me. We live together, Dave. We work not a mile apart from each other. Hell, we ain’t been apart for more than a couple weeks at most since middle school. We got a good thing goin’, and I don’t wanna mess that up.”

“Well, being locked in a barn messes it up a bit, don’t ya think?”

Jack snorted, but he was still staying quiet.

Honestly... it kind of hurt, that he’d kept some secret for what sounded like a long time. They told each other everything. Or, at least, Davey had thought they did.

But that had taken years, hadn’t it?

Jack’s childhood had been pretty messed up. He’d been failed by a lot of people, one way or another, and even being type where pain made him want to make sure nobody else ever got hurt, it had given him intense issues to work through.

Davey had met him in 7th grade and it had taken until their freshman year of high school to get him to drop his guard even a little. And after that, it had taken the rest of high school—months of proving he wouldn’t break his trust, hours spent holding Jack while he cried but still couldn’t bring himself to tell Davey a thing—and only after all that came a night not a month after they moved into their college dorm.

It had been a bad night for Jack, around the anniversary of his biological mother’s death, and he’d told Davey he trusted him more than anyone, with everything he had.

That was almost two years ago. Davey didn’t see how he could have missed that Jack was holding back one more secret. One bad enough that he was worried about it ruining their friendship.

“Jack, whatever it is, it’ll be fine,” Davey promised, “If you want, after you tell me, I’ll just pretend you never said anything. Just... tell me so we can get out of here?”

Jack was still hesitating, and while it was frustrating, how Davey didn’t know what more he could possibly do to prove he wouldn’t hurt him, he didn’t blame Jack. He’d been hurt enough times that being overly cautious made sense.

“Well... I can’t promise I’d stand by you if you killed someone,” he reasoned, trying to lighten the mood, “Unless they really deserved it.”

Jack laughed, “Okay, Davey.”

“Or if you play holiday music before Thanksgiving behind my back,” Davey teased, “Or if you secretly pull the wings off grasshoppers for fun. Or if you—“

“Stop,” Jack laughed.

“I’d leave you if you mowed the lawn at 3:41 in the morning every Tuesday while blasting Metallica from an old boom box on the porch.”

“That is oddly specific.”

“My family used to have an old man neighbor who did that,” Davey explained, “We moved to Manhattan for a reason. Anyway...”

“I’m in love with you.”

Jack looked almost as surprised as Davey as he blurted that out.

“I have been,” he added, after a good ten seconds of silence, “Since like, 8th grade. I just never said it cause... I dunno. I knew ya weren’t homophobic or nothin’, but it was just easier if nothin’ changed either way ‘tween us. I liked what we were doin’—I still do.”

Davey was still kind of frozen.

Jack was in love with him? This was a pretty big thing.

It made him feel kind of stupid, a little bit like a bad friend, for never having noticed.

Looking back, it wasn’t especially obvious, but it wasn’t not obvious, either.

“Race has been pressurin’ me to make a move since 10th grade,” Jack said awkwardly, “Crutchie, too. And Romeo. And Spot, and... well, basically everyone. Race actually used to say he was gonna lock us in a room until I confessed, but I thought he was joking. They all insisted you felt the same, but I always told ‘em, ‘I thinks I know my own best friend best.’ I know you...”

Jack was still talking, but Davey wasn’t listening. Instead, his mind was zeroing in on the last sentance he heard.

They all insisted you felt the same.

Davey had... never thought about it. About loving Jack like that. He’d never even considered the possibility.

He was probably stupid for that, but he just... hadn’t. Davey had known he loved Jack as a friend for years—how could he not?—but he’d never even thought about the possibility of being in love with him.

Was he in love with Jack?

They pretty much did everything couples did, already, besides the kissing and things like that. Davey would die for Jack. He would dedicate his life to making Jack happy. He trusted him with his life.

Did that mean he was in love with him?

...holy shit.

Jack was still rambling.

“Jack,” Davey said quietly, hoping he’d stop.

He did, wearing a frown that was meant to hide his fear.

Davey could see right through him, but he pretended he couldn’t.

“Have you really been in love with me since 8th grade?”

Jack shrugged, looking at the floor, “At least. That’s when I realized it. In hindsight, it mighta started even sooner, but...”

He trailed off as Davey took a couple steps closer.

“Jackie,” Davey said quietly, “It’s been... damn, it’s been 7 years, and I didn’t see it. I’m a dumbass.”

“Says the ‘double major, plays 3 instruments, 3.8 GPA’ student,” Jack pointed out.

He... was not wrong about that, but that wasn’t valid.

“Book smart and life smart are two different things.”

Jack snorted, “Is ‘street smarts’ another one?”

“Jack.”

“Sorry.”

Davey sighed, “What I’m trying to say is that... I’m oblivious for not noticin’ your feelings, but...”

He took a deep breath. He’d realized this approximately a minute and a half ago, had no time to process it, but telling him was right in a nauseating, terrifying kind of way.

“I’m a dumbass because I didn’t notice mine.”

Jack’s mouth dropped open in shock.

Davey smiled, then shouted to the rafters.

“Race, you can let us out now!”

To both of their surprise, it was Spot who opened the barn door, less than 5 minutes later.

“You idiots have issues,” he declared.

“Who convinced ya to make a move with my little brother again?” Jack asked.

Davey laughed. Maybe it was several years late, but better to get a late start than not to start anything at all.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #414

“mirror, mirror, tell me who you see  /  am i you or me?  /  i can never remember”

How many people have you kissed? Four. Ever kissed someone you weren’t dating at the time? No. Of the people you’ve kissed, how many do you regret kissing? Two. Ever been kissed by a legal adult when you were a minor (or vise-versa)? Yeah, with Jason, but it was only a two-year difference. Ever kissed someone on a dare/as part of a game? No. Where’s the most public place you’ve ever made out with someone? Nowhere public. I wouldn't do that. Can you snowboard? Never tried. Have you ever made a mixed cd for someone? No. Do you use recycle bins at your house? Yes. Do you own more than one bathing suit? No. Have you ever kissed someone who smokes weed? Jason did occasionally with his best friend, but he stopped for me. How are you right this second? I'm all right. Last night was pretty rough, so I'm just glad that's over. My body is just tired. Is there anything you disliked about your last birthday? Honestly, I barely remember what I did on my last birthday. I just remember it was fine. Oh wait, actually, on the way home from going out to eat, we had to call the cops while behind a car whose driver was obviously drunk or high OFF. HIS. ASS. He was swerving like crazy and almost hit SO many cars. I was having an absolute panic attack. I pray to God that guy was more than just found and fined. Do you keep a diary or journal (offline or online)? No, unless you count surveys, I guess. What were you like a year ago? I was the unhappily the same. Is someone on your mind right now? Fucking always. Having a warm dream about him last night didn't help. Who was the last person you sat next to? My mom. What do you currently hear right now? My screen is split so I can watch John Wolfe play some indie horror games. What’s something you need to go shopping for? I need to get new bras baaaadly because I'm tired of none fitting properly. What’s the last thing you ate? I had a donut 'cuz Mom stopped at Dunkin' for coffee. Do/did you do good in school? I did up to college. Then I just... sucked. Do you always get along with your siblings? I mean I don't see/talk to them every day or anything, not even very regularly even, but we generally get along fine now as adults. We disagree about shit for sure, but keep our mouths shut. Or probably talk to Mom about it while I'm not present. I don't even think they like me half of the time. Are you frustrated with anything? So much. Why did you fall for the last person romantically? There were/are a lot of factors. Just she as a person is phenomenal. What’s your younger sibling’s name? Nicole. Can you speak in a different language conversationally; if so, which language? A tiny bit of German. Do you ever fear of falling asleep? With my nightmares, I used to dread it. Now, thankfully, my APAP mask has prevented them from happening, mostly; I've only had two in the month that I've had it, and I ordinarily had them every single night. Do you have an idea of what kind of profession you’d like to have? I do, but I honestly doubt I'm going to succeed in even making it a part-time job by this damn point. Which beach would you say is your favorite? I don't have a favorite. I don't even like the beach very much. What kind of cookie is your favorite? Chocolate chip. Have you ever had a churro? Yes. Too crunchy and ridiculously sweet, not a fan. Truth be told, are you more into looks or personalities the most? A good personality beats good looks any day. How is/was your chemistry class in high school? I actually didn't take chemistry; my graduating year, physical science was offered as the alternative, which I took. How does alcohol affect you? I get hot, and my face flushes badly. It'll make me more talkative. Have you ever tried lemon brownies? No, and I don't want to. I don't like lemon-flavored stuff like that. What was the last type of meat you ate? Beef. Have you taken any medication today? I have prescriptions I take every day. Have you ever watched Parks and Recreation? I've seen some of it at Sara's house. What is your favourite kind of pasta? Just spaghetti with tomato sauce and meatballs, really. I've been on a major chicken pesto kick lately, though. Have you set an alarm today? No. Think of a random person, and give them a message here, no names: Literally just the chance to say "I'm sorry" would be fucking amazing. Just two fucking words. What if there were two of you? Would the world be in trouble? No. That'd be a waste of space, though. Not like I'm contributing much to society. Would you prefer an ice cream sundae or an ice cream cone? I dunno man, it depends on my mood and what I want in the moment. Do you watch movies with the subtitles on? No; I find it to be distracting. Is the last person you kissed yours? I hate this saying. She's her own person that belongs to nobody but herself. But to just go along with it and answer the question, no, we're not together. Do you think you will be married by the time you are 25? Welp, I'm halfway through 25, so. Do you have siblings over the age of 21? All of my siblings are. Do you have a hard time admitting you’re wrong? No. Especially as I've aged, I'd say I'm pretty quick to accept if I've fucked up. Who has the ability to hurt you the most emotionally? Jason will probably always have that power, even if he's not in my life. Would you ever be a stripper? God no, nobody wants to see that. What are your plans for tomorrow? Just get through the day, man. Do you owe anybody money? No. How would your parents describe you? Reserved, shy, a deep thinker, animal lover, uhhhh... What is the most you have ever weighed? Let's not. Would you ever work at McDonald's? No. I'm never working in food service. If you aren't already, would you go vegetarian or vegan? I want to be a vegetarian and being a vegan would be perfectly ideal for me, but I really don't think I can healthily accomplish either. I am FAR too picky to where I'd almost definitely become malnourished. To make it even worse I absolutely cannot "suck it up" if I don't like a food, so it's not like I could choke down stuff I don't like. Not to mention I'd be pretty sad without any yummy food to look forward to, aha. Coolest person you've ever met? Uhhhh I don't know. Do you wear boxers? No. Girls, how old were you when you first learned how to put in a tampon? I don't remember. Would you ever attend a gay pride parade or festival? I would absolutely love to. Did you see Paranormal Activity 2? I think I've seen all of the movies. I liked them, given paranormal horror films are probably my fave. What would you do if an old man grabbed your ass? Kick him in the fucking balls so goddamn fast and probably slap him across the face at the same time. Probably cry later from feeling violated and having my fear of men aggravated. Do you like moustaches? It depends on the person, but I'd say I generally prefer an attached beard and a mustache versus JUST a mustache. Could you hack into someone's computer if you tried hard enough? No. I have no idea how to do that. Have you ever smoked a cigar? No. Do you go out on Black Friday? Hell no. NOT worth fighting people for deals. Do you have curtains in your bedroom? No; I have those blinds that you can close upwards or downwards. Did you like the Spice Girls when you were little? Yeah, I did. Can you sing the entire Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song? I think I can. Do you get heartburn? I'm literally on an antacid prescription, or else I get insane heartburn every day. Are you scared of elevators? To a moderate degree, yes. I'm terrified of it getting stuck. Have you ever seen a dead body in person? Yes, at an open-casket wake. Have you ever seen The Goonies? I have. If you're white, do you ever wish you were black? Or vice versa? I'm fine being Caucasian, but ultimately don't care. Do you bake cookies all the time around Christmas? I don't bake. Do you like your hair pulled? Uhhh... I'm assuming you mean this in a suggestive context, in which case no. Never pull my hair, actually. What kind of jeans do you like? Ripped skinny jeans. What do you think is overrated? Who really cares. Let people enjoy what they enjoy. And what are your goals for the remainder of this year? Lose lots of weight, find a job, get back into old hobbies and develop new ones... Name a city that starts with A in your state/province etc. Asheboro. Name a landmark that starts with M in your state/province etc. I'm blanking right now. When was the last time you gave a horse a carrot? Been years. I think I've only done that once, and I can't even remember where it was. Have you ever had to shovel snow? No. How many seasons is your favorite TV show in so far? MM was just revived for its fifth season! :') Where would you most like to go in your state, etc. that you haven’t been? NC actually has this really old Wizard of Oz theme park! It's on the other end of the state, though, and NC is one wiiiiiide state. What was the last bird you saw? A robin, I think. What color was the last thing you drank? Green. Has a wild animal ever been loose in your house? Besides insects, no. Well wait, scratch that, once or twice we had a small mice problem when we lived in the woods. What’s the name of the bookstores in your city? The only one I know off the top of my head is Books-a-Million. Where do your parents live? I live with my mom, and Dad lives in the same city as us. Have you ever seen or touched an iceberg? No, but that would be cool. What colour are your father’s eyes? Brown. If your ex turned up on your doorstep now, with nowhere else to go, would you let him/her stay? Well one, this isn't my house, so I can't make that decision. My mom being who she is though, she'd let pretty much anyone stay the night. If it was Sara, Mom would let her stay as long as she needed. The last time you cried, was it connected with someone of the opposite sex? Ugh, yes. My PTSD was BAD last night. Delicious warm brownies or a giant cookie? I'll take the brownie. Have you visited a haunted building or area before? No, but damn I'd love to. Have you been to North Carolina? Ayyyyeeeee that's my home.

[5typesoftrash]

Not Gay... Probably

“As in, he’s not a girl.”

The words stayed with Dean. He didn’t quite get why, but they were bouncing around his head. Charlie’s gay. Charlie likes girls. It shouldn’t be difficult to understand, but…

He doesn’t even really know what his problem is. There’s a disconnect somewhere, he knows that, but he doesn’t quite get why it bothers him. Sam has Opinions on it, but Dean’s not convinced it’s their dad’s fault.

Well. It probably is. But Dean still has difficulty blaming John for almost anything that happened to them. (Sam calls that a result of trauma and abuse. Dean doesn’t disagree, but he does get pissy whenever Sam mentions it because it feels like he’s flaunting being mentally healthy and knowing how to cope with his emotions in a way that Dean doesn’t and never has.)

But…

Gay.

Girls.

Guys.

Dean likes women. He knows he likes women. But… men? Can you even like more than one gender? He doesn’t know.

~~

Dean doesn’t like research. ‘Doesn’t like’ is a pretty mild way of putting it, honestly. He despises research, loathes it. It’s boring and tedious and involves a lot of reading and cross-referencing and blah blah blah that he absolutely hates. Sam loves it. Sam’s great at it, he retains so much information over periods of time. When Dean tries to read something, everything he read drops out of his head as soon as he opens the next book.

Sam’s great at research, which is why Dean is so annoyed that this is one topic he has to research himself.

He’s lucky he’s got an expert.

“How’d you know?” he asks, years – literal years – after the comment that started this, in the Bunker, on one of the rare occasions that Charlie visits them. Because yes, he ignored it until now. He’s always found repression to be more interesting. That way he gets surprised by his feelings.

“How did I know what?” Charlie asks patiently, if slightly snarkily.

“That you’re…” Dean trails off. “I dunno.”

“A faggot?” she suggests. “A queer, a dyke, a lesbian?”

“I wasn’t going to call you a slur,” Dean defends quietly. “Yeah, how did you know you like chicks?”

“Do you want the family-friendly, completely sanitized version or the highly graphic, more accurate version?”

Dean shudders. “I don’t want to hear about your sexual fantasies, give me the first one.”

Charlie laughs. “Alright, dude. Basically, I had a girl friend – space in the middle – that I had a major crush on in the fourth grade and she kissed me in the ninth grade trying to figure out her sexuality and I kissed back. And then I went home and fell asleep and forgot all about it until two years later, when I saw her kissing another girl. And then I was like woah.”

Dean stares at her. “That’s it? How’d you figure out that men were a no?”

“Almost had sex with one,” she replies easily. “He whipped it out and I just stared at it and I was like… ‘woah, okay, that thing is ugly and I don’t want it anywhere near my lady business’. And then I sent him home. And he was disappointed but thankfully, not an asshole about it.”

He bites his bottom lip. “Cool. Thanks.”

“That’s it?” she asks. “That’s all you needed? You don’t want me to give you The Answer?”

Dean raises an eyebrow. “I mean, sure. What’s the answer?”

She laughs. “Oh, I don’t have it. But most people who ask me stuff like this assume I can just read them and magically tell their sexualities.”

“Can’t you?” he replies. “Don’t you have a magical Gay Radar?”

“I mean yeah, but it’s not like I can tell them their sexualities until they figure it out themselves. The Gaydar works on people who already know their labels, but until they do it’s more of a best-guess situation.”

“Cool,” Dean says again. “Gimme your best guess.”

She blinks at him. “Um. What?”

“What am I, then?”

She swallows. “Uh… either bi or a full-on lesbian.”

Dean scoffs. “I can’t be a lesbian, Charlie, I’m not a chick.”

She winks. “That’s what you think.”

He shakes his head. “I’m not a chick,” he replies, more seriously. “I’ve never wanted to be anything besides a man.”

She shrugs. “Then my ‘best guess’ is that you’re bi.” He opens his mouth but she holds up a hand to stop him. “If you don’t know what that means, look it up. That’s what the internet is for.”

~~

Dean looks it up.

~~

So maybe he’s still pretty confused, but hey. At least he’s bi.

[tyrustrash]

Double Rainbow

Hey, all! Here’s my first Julie and The Phantoms fic! @caro-reads @random-nerd-3 I tagged y’all cause y’all seemed interested in the idea. It’s also on AO3 if anybody wants to read it on there. https://archiveofourown.org/works/26726482

He thought once he told them everything would be alright. His parent were assholes, which he figured they would be. That night had less yelling than expected, but just the right amount of disappointment. His father called him every slur in the book as he threatened to make things physical and his mother just cried and wondered where she went wrong. He gathered up everything that he thought was valuable before he stormed out of the house due to his father’s orders.

He walked to the closest park and rested on one of the benches. The rain came down hard. Good for him because it covered up his tears. He didn’t know what to do. He knew that his father wouldn’t immediately be open with having a gay son but hoped he would lighten up because they always told him they would always love and support him. He guessed he wasn’t the only one that lied.

With the flash of lightning, Alex jumped from the bench. He nearly dropped his phone on the concrete sidewalk. Without thinking about what he would say, he called one person he hoped wouldn’t be like his parents.

“What’s up,” the voice on the phone said. He knew Luke would answer even if it was late.

He couldn’t form a complete sentence due to his sobs. “Lu-Luke. I c-can’t. Please.”

“Hey, hey, it’s alright.” The concern in his voice seems sincere. It made him hope that it was real. “Just breathe. Tell me what’s going on.”

He couldn’t. He couldn’t come out to him. He just lost his parents and he wasn’t ready to lose his best friends. “My parents just kicked me out.”

“What!” His shouting was loud enough to fill up the empty park. “What happened? Are you okay? Where are you?”

Alex got even more upset that he couldn’t tell him the whole truth. “I’m at Frankly Park, in the rain.”

“I’ll be right there.”

“What are you-” He couldn’t finish speaking because Luke hung up. He wanted him to stay on the phone longer. He wanted him. He wanted someone that would care about him.

A few minutes later, a car pulled up to the sidewalk. He recognized it as Emily’s car. He walked to it and got in the passenger’s seat. He noticed Luke in the driver’s seat with the most worried face he has ever seen.

“I’m sorry for getting the inside wet,” Alex said without looking at him. His voice was so faint that it felt like a ghost talking.

“I don’t care about that,” Luke told him. “I care about you. What happened? Are you hurt? Do I need to get Reggie?”

Hearing him mention Reggie made him begin crying again. It just hit him that his friends were all he had left and he couldn’t mess things up. He didn’t know how to tell them, nor did he know if they would even be cool with it.

“I just need somewhere to stay.”

“I know a place.” With that, Luke drove off.

A short drive brought them to a garage in a neighborhood. There wasn’t a house attached to it. Walking inside, there was some sort of setup for playing instruments with some couches on the side and a little bed area on the top floor. Alex looked at it in awe.

“What is this place?”

Luke went to the fridge and gave Alex a bottle of water. “Welcome to Sunset Curve’s new rehearsal studio. I was going to show you guys this weekend as a surprise. The original owners didn’t need it anymore and let me buy it off them real cheap. I wanted to set things up before we actually got started in here.”

Alex sat on one of the couches and took it all in. He looked up to the partial second floor which only consisted of bedroom supplies. He figured he could stay there. “Thanks for getting all this.”

“No problem.” Luke sat next to him. “My parents wanted us to find a new place because they wanted the house to be quiet. You can stay here as long as you need.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to impose.”

“Nah, it’s our space now. You’re free to crash here for however long you need.”

Alex couldn’t be more grateful. Luke went out of his way to find them this space and was okay with him living there. Without thinking, he leaned over and gave him a hug. When Luke placed his hands on his back, it made Alex pull away quickly. He just realized he gave his male, and straight, friend a super close and tight hug. It got him thinking if he gave off any signs.

“It’s okay,” Luke said. “If you need a hug, I’m open. I don’t mind.”

Before he could let out any more tears, Alex got up and made his way to the bed on the second floor. “It’s alright. I just need to rest and clear my mind.”

Luke nodded and headed out. Before closing the door, he looked Alex in the face and said, “If you ever want to talk about it, I’m all ears. And don’t ever forget that I love you. Reggie loves you. Hell, even Bobby to an extent loves you. You have people here for you.”

When Luke left, Alex started crying again. He thought about what Luke said. Would they really love him when he comes out? Would they end up being like his father? The world didn’t like people like him and most didn’t bother hiding their hate.

His father would make snarky remarks all the time about gay people and make it known that he believed straight was normal. One time when they saw two guys holding hands, his father covered Alex’s eyes and cursed at the guys because he thought they were going to poison him with their disease. When Alex asked what was wrong with them, his father simply explained that they were sick and needed help. When Alex said that he thought nothing was wrong with that, his father took him to church and had him pray for an hour until he caved and said what his father wanted to hear.

He remembered the first time he felt feelings for another boy. He was in eighth grade and there was a particular football player that he gravitated towards. Unfortunately, the football player happened to be his only friend at the time. He didn’t know why, but he couldn’t help but to stare at him whenever they spent time together. He felt his insides shake just thinking about him. He finally understood what the other boys were talking about when they talked about girls. He worked up the courage to start a conversation with him to explain how he felt, but before he approached the boy, he saw that he had an anti-gay poster in his locker. That crushed his spirit and ended their friendship. Now he was worried that his current friends would think the same. He never heard them say anything alarming, but people could put on a show. So much was running through his mind that he needed to let it out somehow. He grabbed his journal and started writing exactly what his heart felt and every emotion running through his body.

Even though he shouldn’t, he wrote about what would happen if the guys ended up not liking him. He wrote about how much their friendship meant to him and how hurt he’ll be if they kicked him out. He wrote an apology to them for lying and not having enough faith in them. After a few tears hit the pages, he placed it on the little table and went to sleep.

A few weeks passed and Alex has yet to come out. He’s been alright around the guys and grew closer to them because of their extra time together. He felt safe with them, or that’s what he thought.

Over time in the garage, Alex has bought different rainbow and Pride-themed things to place around the garage to see how the others would react. It wasn’t much, just some cups, plates, blankets, and stickers for their instruments. It was his way of giving hints without saying anything, and to see if they would mention anything. He made sure that they didn’t see him bring it all in. He almost bought glitter but thought it would be too much.

One day, Alex was on the couch playing air drums when Bobby and Reggie came in and went to the fridge. They poured some orange juice in the rainbow cups.

Reggie took a sip and nudged Bobby. “Hey, man, do you know where all this random rainbow shit came from? It’s getting a little too fruity in here for my liking.”

Alex’s ears perked. He started feeling his heart sink lower into his stomach.

Bobby groaned. “Dunno, but hopefully more don’t show up. Don’t want to be turned.”

Bobby laughed and Reggie stayed silent as they made their way to the rehearsal area. Alex wanted to die. He didn’t want to believe that his only friends had those thoughts. He started having more thoughts the other day when Luke said he never wanted to think about kissing another boy. Alex stayed quiet as he listened to Bobby and Reggie.

“What does that mean?” Reggie asked. “I mean, it wouldn’t be bad.”

Bobby shook his head. “Yes, it would. Do you think that that’s right?”

“I mean,” Reggie said, which made Alex worry even more. “I don’t know. With everything the news says, I don’t know exactly what to think, but I do think a little that being homosexual is weird. I mean, girls are hot. I don’t know why guys wouldn’t be into them. However, it’s none of my business what they’re into. And I’m not going to assault them or say anything to them either.”

“I’ll say something.” Bobby’s voice was cold. Alex took note of Reggie’s facial expression of confusion. “As you said, girls are hot. Guys are supposed to like girls.”

“Says who?” They all turned to the backdoor and noticed Luke in the door frame. His tone was a mix of sarcasm and pissed off. “I didn’t know there was a rule stating who we had to like?”

“Come on, man. Don’t defend them as if you’re friends with them. I heard what you said. I remember our talks.”

Alex for sure wanted to die. His heart raced faster knowing that the three of them had talks where they expressed their dislike for people like him. He wanted to get up and run away, but that would look too suspicious.

Reggie got between Bobby and Luke. “Guys, let’s just calm down and talk reasonably.”

“Yeah, let’s talk about what the two of you have said to me, especially since all this rainbow shit started showing up.”

Luke approached Bobby. “Look, I didn’t really mean anything that I said. It was all for fun.”

“What did you say?” Reggie asked.

Luke rubbed the back of his head. “It was nothing. Just some jokes about how the queers like to shove themselves down our throats. That I feel like they check me out when I go to the gym and felt uncomfortable. Nothing serious. But it’s not as bad as what Bobby says.”

Bobby chuckled as if he wasn’t ashamed. “Yeah, but at least I have the balls to say something. Those freaks shouldn’t be out in public. I shouldn’t be afraid to be shirtless at the beach in case one of them tries flirting with me. If I catch one of them even thinking about me, I’ll beat the crap out of them. Those faggots can rot in hell.”

That was it. That was the final straw. Alex started hyperventilating and tried leaving. He stumbled on his way but managed to get out. He didn’t make it far, only to the trees behind the garage. Gasping for air, he passed out.

When he woke up, he was shocked. He was back in the garage and was on the bigger couch. He looked over and saw Luke and Reggie sitting at the table, both seem interested in something. Upon closer look, his eyes widened when he realized they were reading his journal. His heart couldn’t catch a break today.

He couldn’t do anything because they saw him. Their faces look like they’ve been crying for a while. Luke still had some tears rolling down his cheek. Alex’s feet couldn’t move for some reason when they started coming towards him. Next thing he knew was these two straight guys giving him the tightest hug that he has ever had. Alex joined them in the tears.

“We’re so sorry,” Luke said without letting go. “We’re so freaking sorry for what we’ve said. What Reggie and I said truly were meant as jokes, poor and tasteless jokes that shouldn’t have been said.”

Reggie was next. “We love you so much, Alex. We’re sorry for being the worst friends ever. We understand if you hate us. But let me tell you that you are our best friend and we never meant to hurt you.”

Alex’s sobs filled up the garage. He didn’t know what to believe. After hearing all the hurtful things that they have said, it was hard for him to be around them. But he could tell in their voice and face right now that they were genuinely sorry.

“Why?” Alex asked as he broke the hug. “Why would you even say those things? Or even think those things? Are you only saying this now because I’m your friend?”

Reggie got down on his knees and took one of Alex’s hands. “Alexander Oscar Cobb, you are our friend no matter who you are. We were monsters for what we’ve said, and we’re truly sorry and we want to change.”

Luke got down next and took his other hand. A little tear left his eye. “We don’t know why we said those awful things before. Please, you have to believe us when we say that we don’t hate you and we don’t hate others like you. We were just stupid boys that listened to the wrong crowd.”

“What about Bobby?” Alex asked as he stood and walked across the room. The other two followed him.

“He’s out,” Luke said. “We kicked him out of the band and the friend group. We don’t want anything to do with him.”

“Yeah,” Reggie chimed in. “He saw nothing wrong in his thoughts and didn’t want to change. He continued talking shit when he found out the truth.”

Luke moved to be in front of Alex and looked him in the eyes and said, “We promise to never make a dumbass comment again. We’ll learn and grow and do whatever it takes. You’re not just our friend, you’re our brother.”

So many thoughts ran through Alex’s mind that it felt like he was going to explode. He couldn’t risk making the wrong move, but he was pretty sure he was going to be happy.

“Thanks, guys,” Alex said as he took their hands again. “And I promise to be honest from now on. Your words mean so much to me and I hope we can all use this as a learning experience.”

At that, they had another group hug and gave supportive remarks to each other. Alex turned his head and stared out the window. He smiled seeing the double rainbow in the sky.

[progressivestupidity]

IZ week 2020

so i wasn’t gonna do this because I didn’t think the prompts were very good for writing to, but I remembered the last day’s prompt was “role swap” so I decided to do something small and quick for it. this is all 7 days in one post. the first and last ones are drabbles and one of them is an au idea

@invader-zim-week​ here u go!!!

Day 1. Angst or Fluff 

Zim’s denial skills are god tier, but even they have their limits.

Drabble. I think this is the turning point for my eventual found family au

“When are you going to get it through your thick head that the Tallests aren’t coming?” Dib flings his arms out wide in his exasperation

“They’re just…!” Zim fumbles a bit, clenching and unclenching his fists. “The Armada is a million light years away! It takes time to travel that far, obviously. It took me six of your months to get here from Conventia and the Massive is further away from here now than that. They’ll come! You’ll see! And then you’ll be sorry!” Zim’s face is drawn tight. He’s tense all over, shoulders drawn up to his jaw, antennae pressed flat to his head, and normally Dib prides himself on reading Zim like an open book, but he’s too far gone in his own annoyance to see the warning signs.

It’s because he doesn’t see these red flags that Dib proceeds to stick his own foot in his mouth with his next words. “Maybe if you weren’t such an idiot and opened your eyes, you’d see the truth—that they dumped you here to get rid of you.”

“YOU THINK I DON’T KNOW THAT?” Zim explodes, planting his tiny hands in Dib’s chest and shoving. The boy lands painfully on his ass. “I’m not stupid, Dib.” His name is spat like an insult. “I know they don’t care about me! Why do you think I try so hard?”

Dib gapes at Zim, looking up at him for once, stunned into silence. “I.” He swallows. “You know?”

“Of course, I know.” Zim’s voice is a low hiss and his eyes are narrowed to slits. “You don’t get banished and then just get over it. You don’t get put on trial to defend your life, forced to relive your worse mistakes, and get sentenced to death, only to be saved by freak miracle, and never acknowledge it happened.” Zim takes a deep breath and crosses his arms over his chest. Dib supposes he means for it to look intimidating, but it looks more like he’s holding himself together. “I’ve always known.”

“Why do you try so hard then? If you’ve always known there was no point?” Dib has to ask, has to know, has to hear the words from Zim’s own mouth.

Zim purses his lips and turns away. “There was always a point.” He falls silent for a moment, one antenna twitching up a bit in thought. “I just… I thought if I was just a little better, if I accomplished something important for once, that… I don’t know, that maybe I’d.” He pauses and grits his teeth. “Maybe if I actually managed to take over this filthy planet I’d be worth something for once.”

Day 2. Be Gay Do Crime (LGBTQA+ headcannons)

Dib is bi/pan/demi-ro, Gaz is lesbian, Zim is ace/demi-ro

Headcanons.

Dib seems like the kind of guy that would both take whatever kind of relationship he could get, but also appreciate it. Dib isn’t afraid to work for what he wants and isn’t afraid of things that are “not normal” so I see him being the type to not care about the gender of whoever he eventually decides to date. However, because Dib’s been burned in the past, he would need a deep and sincere emotional relationship to see someone as a potential romantic partner.

Gaz is just a big lesbian. Girls, man.

Zim is ace all the way baby!!! He’s just not interested, and sure, part of that is me projecting, but it just feels right for Zim to just… not care. He has no interest and doesn’t care for sexual attraction regardless of whether or not Irkens do/can/will have sex or not. On the other hand, Zim has expressed a softer side before and I can see him being able to maybe eventually develop romantic feelings for someone if he actually manages to get close enough to them for those kinds of feelings to even emerge. It would take a lot of time and a deep, meaningful friendship, but Zim has shown he’s capable of love. He just has to let himself feel it.

  Day 3. Fandom Appreciation

Found family fuck yeah

Headcanons.

I’m still in the process of thinking about how I wanna go about my found family au so here’s just some initial ideas

After ETF, Zim self isolates for a bit. The florpus hole was his Last Ditch Effort plan and had it succeeded, he knew he would have been destroyed too. He was okay with it. He had made peace with it. However, it failed, and now he’s forced to reflect on said failure

The Massive doesn’t escape the florpus. They’re gone, completely. If they the ship does manage to get out, it’s not in one piece

I initially couldn’t decide if The Trial should come Before ETF or After but I think im gonna say before so the Massive doesn’t have to come back lmao

Before too long, Zim jumps back into the planning/scheming swing of things, but his ideas are never more than petty crimes and being a huge annoyance

Dib gets really annoyed with him and they have a big argument

Zim finally admits to knowing of his own Defectiveness

Dib reluctantly feels bad for him and backs off a bit to let Zim have his space

Zim, however, sees this as a betrayal and redoubles his efforts to get his attention

Somewhere along the way, Skoodge comes back and Zim backs off of Dib a bit, having someone else to focus attention on

Dib eventually begins to offer Zim his hand in friendship (phrased as a truce at first) and they finally make steps towards getting along

They realize they actually really like being friends

Zim eventually realizes that he’s made a life for himself, outside of the Empire

Eventually Zim, Skoodge, GIR, Minimoose, Dib, and Gaz form their own little family and explore space and hunt cryptids

(I love cryptid hunter and space exploration aus holy shit)

Day 4. If IZ had a different setting/time period

Cyberpunk??? Sure

Potential idea maybe.

Cyberpunk dystopian future

Aliens and humans intermingle, both on and off Earth

The Irken Empire has gotten bigger

Technology is advanced and cybernetics are widely known/produced

Idk man I don’t know a lot about cyberpunk, maybe this should be more for the aesthetic

Day 5. Aesthetic

Big shrug man idk

Headcanons, thoughts.

I’m a big fan of fashion Zim, and whenever I get the chance I give him clothes that are both cute and comfortable

Galaxy print leggings are a personal favorite of mine to give him

One time I wrote a little ficlet/oneshot where he wore a skirt. I should publish that some day

Uhhhhhh okay so. Dib has veeeeeery big early 2000s emo/punk vibes tbh

Scene kid GIR always makes me laugh

Gaz could pull off pastel goth like no one’s business

I’ve been here long enough to witness emo/scene hair wig Zim and his eventual fall lmfao

Pretty much everyone that redesigned them back in the day gave Zim emo kid hair that fall perfectly over one eye it was WILD

 Day 6. What if IZ was a different Genre?

Uhhhh does “fantasy instead of scifi” count?

Potential idea maybe. (oops it ended up being a fantasy/modern magic au haha ooooops)

Instead of being an alien, I had the idea of, maybeeeeee Irkens are like. Elves maybe, or perhaps some kind of fae. (I don’t know much about fae, oops)

Okay bear with me here, this is all coming together in real time.

The Irkens (which is what I’m gonna call their clan or faction or subrace or whatever) still want to be the rulers or something over the humans/other mystical beings. This world of magic is hidden from humans and they live blissfully unaware. There are invaders all over the place, using magic and glamors to trick humans into thinking they’re also humans. Zim is one such invader and just to happens to end up in Dib’s town, whereupon he enrolls in Dib’s school, pretending to be a transfer student.

I have no idea why or how the Irkens invade or what methods they use, but since my biggest experience with elves is through DND, I’m going to say they’re functionally similar to certain DND elf races.

So anyway, Zim ends up in Dib’s class and Zim’s glamor just Doesn’t Work on Dib for whatever reason (maybe Dib passed his Wisdom saving throw while literally everyone else failed, idk) and so Dib can immediately see Zim for what he is.

Dib is still into paranormal type stuff, though in his world, he’s less about cryptids and aliens and more about the magical species/world(s) that he KNOWS exists. His big goal in his au is similar to canon in that he wants to expose it all for recognition and love from his father.

Zim, meanwhile, he just wants to prove himself, just like canon. I can’t decide how I want the Irken hierarchy to go in this au—that’s something to think about later, when I have more time—but whatever it is, Zim is either a) not very good at it, b) not suited for it, c) ridiculed for not fitting in to it, or d) a combination of any or all of these things. (or secret option e) he rejects it but has no where else to go. On the other hand, it maybe be none of these things.)

GIR is here too though he’s probably not a robot. Maybe he’s another kind of magical being, or, hell, maybe he’s just Zim’s little brother. I’d be okay with that.

Gaz can also see through glamors but she just doesn’t care. Tak shows up at some point to get revenge, and Skoodge also shows up at some point to stay with Zim and be his friend.

Zim is bad at blending in at first, but he eventually Does get better, since he’s not totally isolated from other Irkens here and he also doesn’t Look like an alien.

(I’m thinkin’ elves in this au look Mostly human but with a few differences. Since I’m biased and this is MY fantasy world, damnit, elves are just. Really Pretty. Ethereal and elegant and graceful (for the most part—there are always exceptions) and they’re also great at magic. Maybe Zim isn’t all that great at magic, I dunno. I’ll figure something out.)

This ended up being less of a genre change and more of a whole ass au, lol oops

Day 7. Role swap

Chanting: human zim au human zim au human zim au human zi

Drabble. This is for an ongoing species swap au that i’ve had in development for the last few years. i haven’t posted anything for it yet, but I’ve thought about it a lot

Dib freezes as Zim points the plastic water gun at his head. Zim’s eyes are narrowed, lips pursed, and he adjusts his grip almost nervously. Behind him, Gir is holding a bucket full of water balloons and a pair of neon green star shaped sunglasses. It’d be cute if Dib wasn’t aware of how painful Earth water is to his Irken skin.

Zim finally lowers his gun slightly. “I want some answers, alien.” He looks Dib over with critical eyes. “Who are you really, and why are you here?” He reaches back and Gir hands him a water balloon with a big smile. “And you better tell the truth or I’ll bust this over your big head.”

Dib grimaces and watches the balloon. “My name Dib, and I’m a scientist. I’m an Irken, from Irk, and I’m here to learn more about life on this planet.” He holds his hands up, hoping to placate the human gesture for surrender. “I’m not here to harm you or anyone else, promise.”

Zim huffs. “Yeah right. I bet you just came here to laugh at the locals.” He puts on a mocking voice and waves the gun and balloon as he speaks. “‘Stupid, stinking humans. They can’t even travel beyond their own moon, yet. What morons. I bet they descended from pigs with how horrible and stupid they are.’” He jams the gun against Dib’s chest. “Tell me I’m wrong.”

Dib bites his lower lip and looks away. He can’t deny he hasn’t thought something similar since arriving on Earth, but Zim didn’t have to be so crude and blunt about it.

The two are at a standoff for almost a minute before Zim blows out a long sigh and steps back. He turns to put the balloon back in the bucket, gives Gir a pat on the head, and shoots Dib one last glare. “Stay away from me, Dib. I have enough problems to deal with without having to worry about whether or not it’s safe for my brother to go to school or if I need to watch my back while walking my dog.”

“I wouldn’t hurt you,” Dib says, a little put out.

Zim scoffs and rolls his eyes. “Yeah, I’ve heard that one before. I know better than to believe it.” He turns and tries to smile at Gir but it comes out a little twisted and sad. “C’mon Gir. Let’s go home and get Minimoose and take him to that dog park you like so much.”

Gir gasps and lets out a cheer. “Can we go get ice cream afterwards?”

Zim gives a little laugh, smile turning a bit more genuine. “Yeah, sounds good.”

As they walk away Dib can’t help but wonder why he ever thought Zim was an Irken himself.

[keyofjetwolf]

THE GIFTENING 2019: Jet Wolf’s Nomination Run-down

Last year, people said they would have liked to know which of the nominations I’d seen, or knew about, or liked, or didn’t like, etc. etc. I HEAR YOU. Under the cut, you’ll find all the nominees in every relevant category (anime, non-anime animated, live action, movies, games), and a couple of brief notes on my familiarity (or lack thereof) and general feelings on the thing.

YOU NEED NOT CONSIDER ANY OF THIS BEFORE MAKING YOUR VOTES

I’m putting the info out there for those who’ve wanted to know, but that information is relevant precisely as much as you want it to be. I can and will liveblog something I hate, I can play a game I’ve played twenty times before. THE GIFTENING is for you, and while I won’t lie (I won’t pretend to like something I don’t, I won’t feign surprise at a twist on my 21st playthrough), I’ll happily provide whatever entertainment in whatever way I can.

Also please note that if I don’t like something, that feeling comes with no value judgement. My disliking a thing reflects only on myself. So if you see I’m not a fan of something, or don’t think I’ll like it based on what I’ve seen or heard, please keep in mind there’s nothing personal toward in you at all in that. AND HELL I COULD BE WRONG FEEL FREE TO TRY AND SHOW ME

Anyway, enough with the blah blah. Join me under the cut if you care to know!

Anything marked only with ** means I haven’t seen/played it nor have any particular thoughts or opinions to share.

Anime

.hack//Sign  **

A Place Further Than The Universe - Haven’t seen it, but from Dashboard Osmosis, was more interested in it than I have been a non-Sailor Moon anime in a long time.

Aggretsuko  **

Aikatsu!  **

Alien Nine  **

Angel Sanctuary  **

Aria the Animation  ** 

Assassination Classroom  ** 

Azumanga Daioh  **

Bodacious Space Pirates - Saw through the first couple of episodes (liveblog here!) Not sure where it’s going, but liked it pretty well!

Bubblegum Crisis - An old personal favourite

Clannad  ** 

Death Note - I think it’s about killing people with a slam book I DUNNO

Death Parade  ** 

Diebuster  ** 

Erased (Boku Dake Ga Inai Machi)  **

Excel Saga  **

Fate/Grand Order: Babylonia  **

Fate/Grand Order: First Order  **

Fire Force  **

Free! Iwatobi Swim Club - I’ve watched the first series. It’s okay, WOULD BE BETTER IF NOT SO MANY DUDES

Fresh Precure - I’ve not seen any Precure series, but if pressed, would say it appears overwhelmingly fluffy and saccharine

Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood - a GIFTENING favourite! Barely into it, but enjoying so far. (previous liveblog here)

Fushigi Yuugi - I watched the series (quit partway through the OAVs) when I finished Sailor Moon back in the day and desperately wanted to find it again. I failed.

Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun  ** 

Given  ** 

Glitter Force  ** 

Grave of the Fireflies - NEVER SEEN IT HAVE BEEN INFORMED IT WILL DEVASTATE ME

Haibane Renmei - I know only what I’ve read via Holligay’s liveblogs! (find them here)

Hamtaro - uhm isn’t this about a hamster

Higurashi When They Cry  ** 

Houseki no Kuni (Land of the Lustrous)  ** 

Hugtto! Precure - See note on previous Precure

Hyouka  ** 

Kaguya-sama: Love is War  **

Kaleido Star  **

Kemono Friends  **

Kimetsu no Yaiba  **

Little Witch Academia  **

Log Horizon  **

Love Hina  **

Luck & Logic  **

Madoka: Rebellion - I saw the Madoka series (fairly ambivalent to it), and heard the movie was terrible, but no clue why, specifically.

Magic Knight Rayearth - Watched this back in the day and haven’t watched a single second since. I REMEMBER LIKING THE BLUE ONE

Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha - Someone sponsored this liveblog for a while! (liveblog here) It was doing some really interesting things with kids burdened with all this world-saving shit, I thought.

Magical Girl Pretty Sammy (TV not OAV) - I know this is a Tenchi Muyo! spin-off (watched some Tenchi back in the day), but I’ve never seen it. Magical Girl Raising Project - Seen the whole series, and really quite enjoyed it.

March Comes in Like a Lion (3-gatsu no Lion)  **

Megalobox  **

Mirai Nikki (The Future Diary)  **

Mob Psycho 100 - Never seen it, but know a bit about it through Dashboard Osmosis.

Mobile Suit Gundam (1979) - WOW WE’RE GOING BACK INTO THE OLDEN TIMES. I’ve seen bits and pieces of *A* Gundam, but no idea which.

Moribito  **

My Bride is a Mermaid (Seto No Hanayome)  ** 

My Roommate is a Cat - Never heard of it, love the title, want it to be a series mashed with the one above.

NANA

Natsume's Book of Friends - I’ve heard the title enough to have it ring a bell, but know nothing otherwise.

Neon Genesis Evangelion - I FUCKING HATE EVANGELION I SEE YOU HOLLIGAY

O Maidens in Your Savage Season - This is another banger title, never heard of it.

Ojamajo Doremi  **

Pretear

Princess Principal

Princess Tutu - WE’RE OLD FRIENDS TUTU AND I. I’m currently liveblogging Princess Tutu on the regular thanks to Calantian! (liveblog here) I just got to the halfway point of episode 12, and have Tutu on the schedule for January as well. LOVING THIS SHOW.

Project A-Ko - Among my earliest of anime experiences. A classic. A weird, weird little classic.

Re:Creators  ** 

Read or Die (OAV)  ** 

Revolutionary Girl Utena - I’ve no doubt my time of fully diving into this anime is approaching, but thus far, I’ve only nibbled at the edges. I know there’s shit here, there are too many people into it. MOSTLY THOUGH I’M STILL CONFUSED ABOUT WHY THERE WAS A KANGAROO (previous liveblogs here)

Rose of Versailles - It’s a historical anime and I think there are lesbians?

Samurai Pizza Cats - I could have this wrong, but I think this is a dubbed anime that’s hilariously unconcerned about anything involving the actual translation and plot? And it’s about cats that deliver pizza? I think there’s a crow that’s the bad guy or something?

School-Live - I know the general premise and watched the first episode ahead of Doc’s Eight Days liveblog of it. What I know has intrigued me.

Serial Experiments Lain - I watched this waaaay back when. Bought it on DVD! Still have them! I cannot for the life of me remember how I felt about it.

Slayers - Another I watched a bit back when! Found it to be generally okay, but it was like twenty something years ago because I am an old.

Snow White with the Red Hair  **

Suite Precure - See previous Precure notes

Sweetness and Lightning - I got this as a Wildcard a couple GIFTENINGs ago, and found it to be CHARMING AS FUCK. I’m still mildly concerned it’s going to go creepy and weird on me Because Anime, but otherwise, I had a great time. (previous liveblog)

The Promised Neverland ** 

Thunderbolt Fantasy **

Trigun - I think I saw this on commercials for Toonami? Vash the Demolished or something? I THINK IT’S ABOUT A DUDE WITH A GUN

Umineko When They Cry ** 

Violet Evergarden ** 

Yona of the Dawn - I did a tiny bit of this for a commission, but remember next to nothing about it. (previous liveblog)

Zombie Land Saga - I ASSUME IT INVOLVES ZOMBIES IN SOME FASHION

Non-Anime Animated

Adventure Time - Seen a lot of it pass my dash, I know there’s a yellow dog that can be things, and the vampire and the pink one are gay.

Anastasia - Just livestreamed the movie with Holligay for Eight Days! I’ve no particular feelings toward it otherwise.

Archer - I KNOW IT’S ADULT

Barbie: Life in the Dreamhouse - This has been nominated every single GIFTENING, I think, and while I’m no closer to knowing what this is actually about, the persistence is inspiring.

Bob's Burgers - Great show! Seen many episodes! I think it’ll be hard to liveblog in a meaningful way.

Bojack Horseman - I’ve seen through season three. EXCELLENT SHOW

Captain N - What the fuck I think I used to watch this on Saturday mornings

Carmen Sandiego (2019)  **

Castlevania (2017) - I’ve seen a couple gifsets, that’s it.

Chuggingtons - WHY DO YOU PEOPLE HATE ME

Courage the Cowardly Dog - I know the premise, never watched the show.

Cyber Six  **

Daria - It was a Beavis & Butthead spin-off and that immediately killed all interest for me.

Donkey Kong Country (TV series)  **

Ducktales (2017) - I know a lot of people love them, but I have to say, I’m not a huge fan of the Disney ducks, generally speaking.

Epithet Erased  **

Ever After High  **

Gargoyles - Saw the first multi-part episode in a livestream a year or so back. It was pretty standard 90s cartoon stuff to me just from that, but I know it’s well-loved.

Generator Rex  **

Gravity Falls - Currently liveblogging for the Patreon! LOVE IT. I’m not sure we’re outside the exclusivity window for it, but if it makes it into the second heat, I’ll figure out how to go from there.

Green Eggs and Ham (series) - Wait, what the hell, this is a series? HOW DO YOU MAKE THIS INTO A SERIES

Green Lantern: The Animated Series  **

Harley Quinn - Loved the clips I saw of the first episode! Did not love the antisemitic clips I saw of the second episode!

Hazbin Hotel  **

Hilda   **

Home Movies - The few clips I’ve seen were hilarious.

Infinity Train  **

JEM - MY LOVE. It’s desperately 80s and objectively poorly done in places and I adore it with my entire being.

Jonny Quest  **

Kidd Video - I feel like I SHOULD know this, but I can’t place it.

Kim Possible - I’ve heard of it!

Klaus  **

Mao Mao Heroes of Pure Heart  **

Moominvalley (2019) - I know Moomins are those little white hippo things. I am pure confusion beyond that.

My Life as a Teenage Robot  **

Over the Garden Wall - I did a couple episodes for my Patreon a few years ago, and have since finished watching the whole series. I’m up for a rewatch!

Rugrats - I know of it, but have only watched the Hanukkah special.

RWBY - Heard of it! I had the impression it was pretty queerbaity? (don’t quote me on that)

Samurai Jack - I know the premise, but never watched the series

She-Ra (80s) - YES I KNOW YOU

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018) - Love it, love it. I still haven’t seen the most recent “season” (it’s a half season don’t jerk me around Netflix)

Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse - I am a long-time comic book nerd and quite familiar with the Spider-Mans. Saw the film shortly after last year’s GIFTENING and enjoyed it.

Star vs the Forces of Evil - Had a liveblog of this for THE GIFTENING a few years back and it was okay, but I wasn’t super impressed. (previous liveblog)

Super Friends - I FUCKING HATE THE SUPER FRIENDS I SEE YOU HUBBY

Tangled: Before Ever After - Saw the movie, never seen the series!

The Animals of Farthing Wood  **

The Dragon Prince - I’ve heard Tumblr chatter in a general sense, but no details.

The Hollow  **

The Loud House  **

The Super Mario Bros. Super Show  **

Thundercats - I fucking loved Thundercats as a kid, hahhaha, there is no way it holds up.

Totally Spies - I’ve had several Patreon livestreams with the show, so have a pretty good general sense of the show at this point. I’m not sure it’d make a good liveblog, though.

Venture Brothers - I think it features a blond buff dude in a black t-shirt?

Wakfu (French dub) - Oh hey, this was a free to play game at PAX one year! That’s it, that’s all I know.

Winx Club  **

X-Men: The Animated Series (90s) - DID SOMEONE SAY X-MEN??? I love this show. Hubby and I still to this day quote this show. This show is not good.

X-Men Evolution - Evo, on the other hand, is EXCELLENT. One of the single best incarnations of the X-Men, in my opinion. Seen all eps multiple times, love it, can talk for a hideously long time about details you never in your life cared about, will probably not make it through an episode, please consider if that is a point for or against it before you vote. (previous liveblog)

Live Action

Agent Carter - Saw the Captain America movie, that’s it!

American Gods - Read the book

Atypical - I know the premise very loosely, and it sounds good, but I’d be a little concerned about accidentally stomping in all the wrong places with my giant clumsy neurotypical feet.

Babylon 5 - I know it’s a sci-fi classic, and I’ve been assured there are characters I would love, but haven’t seen it.

Batman (Adam West series) - A SERIOUS LIVEBLOG WILL RESULT I’M SURE

Black Mirror ("White Bear") - This episode still fucks with me to this day. It’s exceptional, and also very very complicated. This would be a heavy liveblog, be warned. (previous Black Mirror liveblogs)

Brooklyn 99 - I’ve only watched a bit of this and enjoyed it, but like most sitcoms, it’s incredibly difficult to liveblog. (previous liveblog)

Buffy the Vampire Slayer - One of my live’s greatest televisual loves. Joss Whedon and time have mostly driven that out of me, but letting my ego out to play for a second, I have to say, I give some pretty good Buffy. (previous liveblogs)

Cagney & Lacey - A formative favourite for tiny baby Jet Wolf! It’s a cop procedural, with all the downsides that implies, but also it’s lady cop BFFs AND I LOVE IT AND THEM

Carmilla - A current staple of the blog, thanks to @cello-moon! I’ve just started Season 3, and if you’re a regular around here, you know how all this goes. (previous liveblogs)

Charmed (1998) - I know of it, very very loosely, but never watched it.

Charmed (2018) - Also loosely known, but even less so!

Cloak and Dagger - I’m burned out (and just burned) from Disney’s Marvel garbage, but I know Cloak & Dagger from the comics, am that only makes me more surprised this show exists.

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend - I never picked this back up after THE GIFTENING, but had a great time with what we watched! (previous liveblog)

Critical Role (The Night Before Critmas one-shot) - I haven’t seen this one shot, but I DO love me some Critical Role.

Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance - We watched the whole series, and I enjoyed it way more than I thought I would. PODLINGS ARE VALID AND HUP IS THE MOST VALID OF ALL

Dear Friends **

Derry Girls - Watched the whole thing a couple times now, absolutely adore it. One of the best shows I’ve seen in a while. Once again though, comedies can be SO hard to liveblog.

Dinnerladies **

Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency - I’ve heard of the book series?

Doctor Who - I’ve tried SO HARD to like Doctor Who, and yet.

Doctor Who (City of Death serial) - See above, no thoughts on this serial specifically.

Elementary - I’ve seen the first three seasons, I think it is? They began to lose me with some season choices, but I love Sherlock and Joan SO MUCH.

Farscape - I watched the series when it was first on The Sci-Fi Channel, but they kept jerking the schedule around and it fell off my radar. Quite liked it though, as I recall.

Galavant - I SUPER BELIEVE IN YOU TAD COOPER (previous liveblogs)

Good Omens (miniseries) - Read the book and survived the miniseries consuming Tumblr, but didn’t watch it myself.

Hannibal - I remember when this was EVERYWHERE, but mostly I remember that it was very gay and had that guy from Rogue One in it.

Hellier  **

His Dark Materials - Haven’t watched it, haven’t read the books, I know nothing!

Kamen Rider (1971, ep 1)  **

Kamen Rider Fourze  **

Kamen Rider W  **

Kanpai Senshi After V  **

Killing Eve - I’ve seen some photo and gif sets, but haven’t watched it. I think they’re trying to murder each other? But also fuck? IT’S VERY CONFUSING

Legends of Tomorrow - I know it’s a DC show, and I think it has something to do with time travelers?

Leverage - I just watched and streamed my first two episodes last night on Patreon! Quite enjoyed it, more than I expected to.

LOST - Until proven otherwise, I’ll assume this was a troll nomination. GOOD GOD I HATE LOST

Lost Girl  **

Love Island (season 3)  **

Maho Sentai Magiranger  **

Midnight Dinner: Tokyo Stories  **

Murder She Wrote - Actual lol, I have no idea why this was nominated, but I love it and also you. ANGELA LANSBURY ON TV WE ALL WIN

Murdoch Mysteries  **

Once Upon a Time - The premise is fairytales all smooshed together I think?

One Day at a Time (2017) - I’ve watched all but the most recent season, I think. Good show, very enjoyable, but mostly “watch and forget” for me.

Orphan Black - Currently liveblogging, thanks to @skylineofspace​! I’m currently on episode 4, and absolutely loving it. (previous liveblogs)

Parks and Recreation - I’ve seen all but the last season, I think. Great show, but once again, I’d expect a difficult time liveblogging it.

Pushing Daisies - Never seen it. I think it’s about someone whose touch kills?

Re:Mind  **

Russian Doll - Never seen a single second, but I’ve heard nothing but good things through the grapevine.

Sapphire & Steel - HUBBY’S TROLLING ME AGAIN. This is an oooold old old English sci-fi/horror show that I used to watch when I was a tiny tiny Jet Wolf and it scared the shit out of me. I’M STILL MILDLY TRAUMATIZED BY IT TO THIS DAY

Schitt's Creek  **

Sense8  **

Shanara  **

Smash  **

Star Trek: The Next Generation - I love me some Star Trek. I’ve seen all of TNG, but haven’t sat down to fully rewatch the series ever, so most I only saw when they first aired.

Stargate SG1 - I think this is based on a movie I also haven’t seen.

Tantei no Tantei  **

Terrace House  **

The Good Place - OKAY SO THE GOOD PLACE. I watched the first two seasons and LOVED THEM. Mostly. I DO NOT love the Eleanor/Chidi thing. I do not love it to the extent that it completely sucked out my desire to continue with the show. I haven’t seen anything of it past the S2 finale. (previous liveblog)

The Haunting of Hill House - Watched and enjoyed the whole miniseries. I confess to being uncertain about liveblogging this though, as I feel Doc is doing it so much better than I could hope to do.

The Magicians & The Crown  **

The Mandalorian - I KNOW BABY YODA BECAUSE I AM A PERSON WHO EXISTS IN OUR MODERN WORLD (that is all I know)

The Middleman  **

The Tick (2016) - I know and enjoyed the cartoon!

The Untamed  **

Twilight Zone - Who doesn’t know the Twilight Zone, it’s a fucking classic for a reason.

Twin Peaks - Believe it or not, I have never seen a single second of Twin Peaks. I know it’s weird, I know Laura Palmer is dead, I know functionally nothing else.

Ultraman X  **

Westworld - Haven’t seen it, though I believe it’s loosely based on the movie of the same name which I HAVE seen.

What We Do in the Shadows (series) - I’ve seen neither the series nor the movie, but know it’s Taika Waititi and is reportedly hilarious.

Worst Cooks in America - WAIT AM I IN A TV SHOW

Xena: Warrior Princess - My OTHER great love. Adore Xena, adore everything about it (well, mostly), have devoted a not insignificant amount of my heart and brainspace to Xena, if you have me talk about Xena I may never shut up. (previous liveblogs)

Movies

Arrival  **

Atomic Blonde ** 

Barbie's The Princess and The Pauper ** 

Bedknobs and Broomsticks - Saw it a million years ago, remember functionally nothing.

Best in Show - Also seen a very long time ago, just the once.

Bohemian Rhapsody - I love Queen and Freddie Mercury, and I had exactly zero interest in watching this film.

Brave - A Disney/Pixar movie I actually liked!

Cabaret - I haven’t seen the film, though I did see the stage musical, and it fucked me up pretty hardcore for a while there. (Do not let that dissuade you from voting for it! I’ve been wanting to watch the movie. Trump had just been elected when I saw it performed AND WELL THERE WERE THINGS)

Captain Marvel - Haven’t seen it, but it’s one of the few later stage Disney/Marvel offerings I’ve had any interest in.

Captain Underpants  **

Carrie (1976) - ANOTHER SUPER OLDIE I’M SO DELIGHTED. I’ve seen it as well as read the book (both a very long time ago)

Castaway on the Moon  **

Cats (1998) - hahahah I SEE YOU YOU ASSHOLES

Chocolat  **

Clue (1985) - One of my personal favourite movies, though I did stream it not too long ago for my Patreon.

Coco  **

Crank  **

Crimson Peak  **

Dale and Tucker vs Evil - I’ve never seen this, but have wanted to.

Detective Pikachu - Saw this in the theater, and I’m still not sure if I actually enjoyed it or not.

Equestria Girls Rainbow Rocks - THIS IS A MY LITTLE PONY THING ISN’T IT

EVA  **

Fate/Grand Order: First Order  **

Flash Gordon - Delicious, cheesy fun.

Frozen 2 - I won’t be able to stream this if it’s not been released when it’s GIFTENING time, so just keep that in mind. Also please note that I have not seen Frozen 1. I only just, a few months ago, heard “Let it Go” for the first time. TRUE STORY.

Godzilla: King of Monsters  **

Happy New Year (Bollywood) - I legit love Bollywood films, this sounds delightful.

Here Alone  **

Home  **

Hoodwinked!  **

Hot Fuzz - LOVE HOT FUZZ

How to Train Your Dragon  **

Howl's Moving Castle - I haven’t seen it, but I’ve had a few other Miyazaki films voted in for GIFTENING and Patreon, and I haven’t really enjoyed any of them. I’M WILLING TO TRY AGAIN. Just keep in mind, they may not be for me.

Hustlers  **

In Her Shoes  **

Inside Out  **

Interstellar  **

It's Such a Beautiful Day  **

Jennifer's Body  **

Jojo Rabbit - I wasn’t able to see this when it was at our local indy theater, and I regret missing it. I’d love to see it, but I’m not sure with my goyische commentary would be the best delivery method.

Jupiter Ascending - Love this beautiful dumb film, omg. I’ve streamed this for previous GIFTENINGs though, if that’s a thing to care about.

Klaus  **

Knives Out - Very keen to see this, but it may not be out on dvd/streaming before THE GIFTENING, so bear that in mind.

Last of the Blonde Bombshells  **

Legally Blonde - I’VE ACTUALLY NEVER SEEN THIS. I feel like I have, from all the gifs and shit, but nope!

Love Never Dies - Oh my god is this the Phantom sequel, why do you all hate me.

Mad Max: Fury Road - LOVE IT. I’ve done it for THE GIFTENING before, though, just a note.

Madoka: Rebellion - (copied from Rebellion in Anime)  I saw the Madoka series (fairly ambivalent to it), and heard the movie was terrible, but no clue why, specifically.

Man from UNCLE  **

Masters of the Universe (He-Man, 1987) - This movie is so fucking bad hahaha

Midsommar  **

Monster High: Fright On  **

Muppet Christmas Carol - Just watched this during Holligay’s Eight Days! I’m not sure it’s really in my wheelhouse, being relatively lukewarm on both A Christmas Carol and the Muppets, but I’d do my best!

Murder on the Orient Express  **

Newsies (1992)  **

One Cut of the Dead  **

Pacific Rim - I saw it in the theater and actually didn’t care for it over much. I’d be willing to give it another shot though, it might be better second time around.

Pan's Labyrinth - I’ve streamed this film a couple times now, I think, but it’s a good one, so I’m up for another go if you guys want!

Parasite (2019)  **

Perfect Blue  **

Pleasantville  **

Promare  **

Redline  **

Resident Evil  **

Return to Oz - I saw this as a kid and haven’t again since. TAKE THAT INFORMATION AS YOU WILL.

Rock-a-Doodle  **

Searching (2018)  **

Secret of Nimh - LITTLE JET WOLF LOVED THIS MOVIE. Adult Jet Wolf hasn’t sampled it.

Spaceballs - I’ve watched the shit out of Spaceballs. I love a parody, I’m shameless.

Speed Racer (2008) - I’ve only seen this once,but actually enjoyed it more than I expected to.

Spice World - I legitimately love this movie. I’m not sure it’s GOOD but it’s a thousand times better than it has any right to be.

Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse - Good movie, lots of fun, I streamed it not too long ago on Patreon.

Star Wars - IT’S STAR WARS

Star Wars Holiday Special - I’ve never watched this, and I’m not sure how excited I am to change that fact.

Street Fighter (1994) - I HAVE ONLY HEARD THE LEGENDS

Summer Wars  **

Super Mario Brothers - Oh .. this can’t be good ...

Tale of Tales  **

Tangled - I’ve seen it, but didn’t have strong opinions one way or the other.

The Adventures of Tintin  **

The Great Muppet Caper - I’m sure I’ve seen this, but fuck if I can remember anything.

The Last Jedi (hatewatch) - WELP

The Living Wake  **

The Lost Boys - It’s not a good movie, and I love it.

The Mummy (1999) - Streamed recently on Patreon!

The Rezort  **

The Road to El Dorado - I’ve seen it, I want a Sailor Moon AU of it.

The Room - I know it’s considered one of the worst films ever made, but I’ve never had the personal privilege of experience.

Tokyo Godfathers  **

Us (2019) - Saw it in the theater, totally down for seeing it again with perspective on the whole movie.

Venom  **

Wall-E - Probably my favourite Pixar film!

Wayne's World - Saw it back when! Does it hold up? WHO KNOWS

What We Do in the Shadows (movie) - As mentioned above, I’ve never seen it, but I’ve heard it’s an amazing Taika Waititi joint.

When Marnie Was There  **

Wolf Children Ame and Yuki  **

X-Men 2 - GOD I LOVED THIS MOVIE. I’m not sure how well it would hold up, but when it came out? One of the few films I’ve paid to see multiple times in the theater.

Your Name  **

Games

Ace Attorney (blog) -  I’ve tried multiple times with the Ace Attorney games, and I must be honest and say I just don’t like them.

Amnesia: The Dark Descent - I’ve watched a playthrough! The story’s not good. THE IDEA OF PLAYING IT STRESSES ME OUT SO HARD HAHAHAH YOU FUCKS

Among the Sleep (stream)  **

Arkham Knight (main story run) (stream) - Very intrigued to play this. I’ve tinkered a bit, but get distracted by all the side stuff. The motivation to just streamline the story very much appeals.

Baba is You (stream) - I’ve heard great things about the game, but in a “It was great!” way, I still know fuck all about it.

Black Closet (blog)  **

Borderlands (stream) - Love Borderlands, it’s fun as hell. I’d probably angle for Borderlands 2 over the first, but would have a good time however it went.

Catherine Classic  **

Cho Aniki  **

Control (stream) - I’ve seen a little bit on Steam, just enough to know I’m interested.

Cthulhu Save Christmas - Never heard of it, but great title.

Cuphead (stream)  **

Danganronpa  **

Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc (blog)   **

Dead by Daylight (stream)  **

Death Stranding  **

Death Trips  **

Detention (stream)  **

Disco Elysium (blog) - I’ve heard great things, would be totally okay with a reason to play it.

Doki Doki Lit Club (stream) - I was so intrigued with this from THE GIFTENING a couple years ago that I wanted to work it into the main schedule, but it just didn’t happen. 100% on-board the chance to keep going!

Dragon Age: Origins (stream) - I KEEP STALLING WHENEVER I TRY TO REPLAY THIS GAME SO I CAN MOVE TO DA2 THIS IS MY PERSONAL HELL

Dragon Quest Builders 2 (stream)  **

Dream Daddy - I know the premise, and the idea of blogging this is beautiful.

Final Fantasy X (blog) - Have I played X? (asks Hubby) YES I HAVE. It’s one of the few that I finished. Final Fantasy games usually entail so much grinding that I’m not sure it’d be a great liveblog, but I’d do my best!

Firewatch - I’ve been wanting reasons to play this SO MUCH.

Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective (stream) - I’m preeetty sure everyone just wants to hear how many terrible accents we can do. And that’s legit! I’ve since figured out how to play mobile games on my PC so the video quality would be better than last time, but that is the only improvement I could promise. (previous stream)

Gris  **

Half Dead 2 (stream)  **

Hand of Fate 2 (blog) - I think this is a card game?

Hatoful Boyfriend/Pigeon Fucking (blog) - IS IT EVEN REALLY THE GIFTENING WITHOUT PIGEON FUCKING (previous liveblogs)

Hollow Knight  **

House Flipper (blog) - I’ve tentatively had my eye on this on Steam for a while, so seeing this nominated tickled me.

Just Dance (stream) - Jesus wept, you all DO hate me. IF I HAVE TO DO THIS I WON’T DO IT ALONE

Legend of Heroes: Trails in the Sky (First Chapter) (blog)  **

Legend of Zelda (stream) - I AM SO BAD AT THIS GAME WHY

Life is Strange (blog) - See below!

Life is Strange (stream) - I streamed all episodes of Life is Strange a couple years back. While I’m not sure I’d have much to offer on a replay, I’ll happily do it if you guys vote it in. MEANWHILE, here’s a playlist with all the Life is Strange streams.

Life is Strange 2 - My understanding is it’s a separate game from the first with new characters and new story.

Life is Strange: Before the Storm (stream) - And I believe this is a prequel to the first Life is Strange featuring Max and Chloe.

Little Inferno (stream)  **

Long Live the Queen (blog) - YOU KNOW PINK PRINCESS (previous liveblogs)

Long Live the Queen (stream) (with walkthrough to not repeat) - I laughed so hard at the nomination specifically giving my ass a walkthrough.

Mass Effect 1 - I’ve played it multiple times! The Mass Effect series is one of my personal favourites.

Monster Prom (w/Hubby, Doc, & Jill) (stream) - AGAIN WITH VOICES I SEE YOU. It can be difficult to get everyone’s schedules all in alignment, so this may be subject to shuffling and delays, just to keep in mind.

Nancy Drew: Ghost Dogs of Moon Lake (stream)  **

Overwatch (stream) - I assume this is more group play? But we can talk details if it makes it into further heats.

Oxenfree (stream) - I’ve fully streamed Oxenfree on the Patreon. It’s well outside the exclusivity window at this point, and I’m happy to make those public if you guys were interested and would rather put your votes elsewhere. That said, I really enjoyed the game, and think a second playthrough could add a lot to the overall experience, so feel free.

Pathologic 2 (blog)  **

Persona 3 Portable (blog)  **

Pillars of Eternity (blog) - I’ve never finished Pillars of Eternity, but I do have a game with some significant progress I could continue. Alternately, I could roll a whole new character, and would play it however you guys chose. We have options if we go this route!

Pokemon Go (stream/videos) - Amazing. Here the link to last year’s Pokemon Go, if you’d like some idea of what the fuck this is about!

Portal (stream) - The Portal series is great, I think it does some really interesting and innovative ideas with gameplay. I’ve played and finished the first two, though remembering the solutions to any of those puzzles is, of course, another thing entirely.

Recettear: An Item Shop Tale (stream) - THIS WAS THE FIRST THING I EVER BOUGHT ON STEAM. I haven’t played it in forever, and I’m not sure how entertaining it would be, but I’m down for finding out!

Resident Evil 2 remake (blog) - IT’S ZOMBIES. That’s about all I know about Resident Evil.

Reventure  **

Sara is Missing  **

Shovel Knight (stream)  **

Slime Rancher (blog) - I have and have played Slime Rancher! I’m a little unsure about blogging it, but would try!

Slime Rancher (stream) - I WASN’T EXPECTING SUCH A RUSH FROM THE SLIME RANCHER FANDOM THIS YEAR

Stanley Parable - I think Hubby’s played this? I seem to recall it has a narrator who comments on what you do, but I don’t know much else.

Stardew Valley (blog) - I’ve never gotten as far in Stardew Valley as I’ve felt I would. Lots to do for me, yet!

Stardew Valley (stream) - Same as above, just in stream form!

Subnautica (stream) - I’ve done several Subnautica streams for Patreon, and if this gets through, I’d release them so everyone (who wants to) can catch up. If I recall, my last play left off with me exploring a big ass ship that crashed.

Superluminal  **

Tales from the Borderlands - It’s Borderlands, but Telltale, though!

Tales of Symphonia  **

Team SASV (Pokemon X/Y) - TEAM SASSY AND SOMEWHAT VAIN. If this gets in, I’ll need all the intervening time to try and find my fucking DS. (previous liveblogs, via the backup)

The 7th Guest (blog)  **

The Beginner's Guide (stream)  **

The Long Dark   **

The Outer Worlds - I haven’t played this yet but would be extremely delighted for an excuse to pick it up and start.

The Walking Dead game - I watched Hubby play the first two installments, haven’t seen beyond that. Felt the second was weak, LOVED the first. I’ve been hanging on Holligay’s playthrough, so I’m relatively familiar with the story again, save the last episode, which she’s not played yet. I’ve been wanting to before she did, to compare what I think she’ll do to what she actually does, so an excuse to get going on that would be welcome.

The Witcher 3 (stream) - I know @jewishsuperfam loves The Witcher, AND THAT IS ALL I KNOW.

Undertale (blog) - AREN’T I LIKE TWO MINUTES FROM FINISHING THIS. The fight where I left off was frustrating THE PISS out of me, but if this gets in, I’ll get Hubby to read up on what I need to do, and maybe get around that fight before the liveblog, so I don’t spend the whole time getting nowhere and then punching my monitor.

Untitled Goose Game (stream) - I just last month finished this on the Patreon! I need to double check that it would be out of the exclusivity window, but if so, I’d be happy to release it for you guys. I had a great time, but I don’t think there’s much to be regained from playing it again.

VA-11 Hall-A (blog)  **

VooDoo Vance: Remastered  **

Wattam  **

We Happy Few (stream) - I know the basic storyline premise, but little else.

What Remains of Edith Finch (blog) - I watched Holligay’s stream of this and loved the story.

Wild Arms 3  **

Wild ARMs XF (blog)  **

Yakuza 0 (stream)  **

Zero Escape 999 (blog)  **

AND THAT’S THAT. Sailor Moon Day and Miscellaneous don’t require much input from me ahead of time, I don’t feel, but if you have a question on anything there -- or something that’s unclear here, just shoot me an Ask. AND IF YOU FOUND THIS USEFUL PLEASE LET ME KNOW. It took me ... just SO much longer than I was expecting it to. Which I don’t mind, but if it’s not actually helpful to anyone, that’s time better spent elsewhere next year.

[ckret2]

do you think alister if he even has any kind of preference (he could be sex repulsed and all) would have that old 'its not gay if you're the one fucking the other man' mentality (round about way of asking for the same post you made for pen but. for the radio demon)

No, no, see, this isn’t the same as the question I answered earlier at all. The question I answered earlier was “do you think Sir Pent tops or bottoms?” (technically, the “question” i answered was “pen is a bottom” and my answer was “INTERESTING! NO.”) But the question you’re asking is “do you think Alastor defines a person’s sexuality by their sex acts rather than by the people that person is attracted to?” with a side helping of “do you think Alastor has any sexual preferences at all or is he 100% sex repulsed?”

“Which acts does the character think ‘count’ as gay” has no inherent correlation to “which acts does the character enjoy engaging in.” You see the difference. For them to be the same question, we’d have to start off the question by assuming that what acts the character is okay with engaging in is determined by whether or not the character thinks those acts are gay. Conflating what they think is gay with what they’re okay with doing implies that you’re assuming a whole lot about that character’s personality, how much internalized homophobia that character is dealing with, and how fragile that character’s sense of masculinity is, and I’m pretty sure you don’t actually want to imply any of that!

So if you want me to answer the same question I answered earlier, then come back and ask that question, not a roundabout version of the question that’s in fact a very, VERY different question. In the meantime, I’m going to answer the question that you actually asked: “do you think Alastor has 'it’s not gay if you’re penetrating’ beliefs about sexuality?”

The tl;dr is: big shrug, I dunno. Seems possible based on what little I DO know about the time period but I don’t know enough yet. Also if anyone happens to have resources on queer life/history in 1920s New Orleans, like, please chuck them at me.

Essay below!! Hey tumblr you’d better let the read more cut work, don’t let me down.

As it happens, I’ve actually been trying to figure out how sexuality was viewed roundabouts the 1920s in New Orleans—because I figure Alastor’s views have probably evolved very little since then. I get the impression that he’s very set in his own era; and because he’s sort of in a social bubble—who’s going to try to get close to the Radio Demon?—and doesn’t engage much with current mass media, he’s more or less shielded from evolutions in modern culture.

(Compare that to, say, Angel, who sounds very modern—or Charlie, who’s at least a couple of centuries old (probably much more) but also dresses and acts very modern.)

So whatever he thinks about sexuality is going to be rooted in whatever was current when he was alive.

The 20s were actually surprisingly good to queer folks, from what I’ve found so far—there was some VERY gay vaudeville & jazz tracks coming out—but like, I don’t know exactly how good, relatively speaking. Or where. Was it, like, only New York? And/or only San Francisco? I’ve got next to no sources on what was going on in New Orleans. The ONLY fact I’ve been able to find from the era so far is that 1933—the year of Alastor’s death—is the year the first gay bar opened in New Orleans (or, at least, the first one that’s still open today—it relocated but it’s still going). But that doesn’t tell me a lot about the overall environment. All it tells me is “New Orleans wasn’t so homophobic that the bar was burned down immediately, and/or they kept it too secret for that to happen.” That’s not a lot to go on.

And all of this is, like, the level of mainstream tolerance/acceptance toward queerness. It doesn’t tell me what people actually believed then.

Here’s a paragraph on late-1800s/early-1900s psychological beliefs about queerness that are hella outdated today: one contemporary belief about sexuality called “sexual inversion” basically said that a queer person’s brain was “inverted” gender-wise from the norm—that is, for instance, if you’re AMAB and attracted to men, you’ve got a feminine brain, you’ll like to do feminine things, you’ll want to perform feminine sex acts (ie, be the recipient in anal sex), and you’ll probably want to have a feminine body. Basically it conflated being gay and being trans. On the other hand, if you’re AMAB and you’re attracted to a feminine AMAB “invert,” you’re more or less still straight, because you’re attracted to someone with a feminine brain so like that’s more or less a woman psychologically speaking. By modern standards this whole framework is very “oh yikes” but like… ours probably will be seen as cringy in 50 years; and psychologists who believed in sexual inversion generally advocated in favor of letting inverts live in alignment with how their brains told them to, which was a big step forward.

So that was a theory going around. But like, how widespread was it? I know a book about lesbian inverts was written in the late '20s to try to make the term more widespread but idk whether it succeeded or to what extent. Was it a term ONLY being used in psychiatric circles and a handful of people who picked up the book? Was it restricted to certain metropolitan centers? If you went to a drag ball, did people introduce themselves as inverts? (Did they have drag balls? I know they did in mid-Victorian England but that doesn’t tell me much about what was being done in 1920s USA, much less New Orleans.)

And as far as I can tell, the idea of “sexual inversion” was the first time that a framework was presented in Western society where queerness was presented as something inborn rather than a choice people make to go screw someone they “shouldn’t” screw. There was a shift around the 20th century from “gayness is an action that you perform, people can perform the act or not perform the act but they’re basically all the same on the inside” to “gay is something that you ARE, on the inside,” but WHEN exactly did gayness shift from an action to an identity? And when did that shift happen in New Orleans? Knowing when it happened in NYC or some shit isn’t gonna do me any good if, say, it didn’t happen in NOLA for another two decades.

So like obviously I need to find a lot more research on queer history in that region and decade before I can give a super firm answer about what Alastor’s opinions/beliefs are.

I’m toying with the idea that Alastor did spend some of his life in NYC, though; like, he didn’t just casually pick up a Mid-Atlantic accent on the streets of Nawlins. He might’ve picked it up from talkies—although he would’ve had to spend a LOT of time at the movies studying specifically to copy the accent. I know the Mid-Atlantic accent was big in theater, but was that also the case in NOLA, or only in New England? Were there, like, traveling Broadway shows then like there are today? I’m inclined to believe that Alastor actually studied theater at some point in order to pick up the accent, which probably means going to some theater school in the northeast. We know he was into theater, being trained as an actor before going into radio makes sense to me. (He also could’ve learned it at a fancy expensive private school, but I prefer headcanoning him as from a lower background than that.) So maybe he spent some time living in NYC before going back home to NOLA, so if I really really can’t find anything on 20s NOLA I can focus research on NYC instead and say “he picked up his opinions there.” That’s my plan B.

I know that, WHATEVER the 20s NOLA queer community was like, I want to headcanon Alastor was sort of in it but also sort of on the fringes of it—like, due to his very conspicuous (conspicuous to himself) lack of normal/expected attraction to the people he knew he was “supposed” to be attracted to, he sort of felt a draw to the company of other folks who were conspicuously not attracted to who they were “supposed” to be—but he never really felt super deep ties to that community because, one, he just naturally forms very shallow relationships in the first place, and, two, he wasn’t hanging out in queer spaces looking for a relationship or a date or an opportunity to express some hidden side of himself so much as he was looking for a place where he wasn’t being weighed down by The Mainstream Expectations. But you can still be weighed down, albeit to a lesser extent, by The Counterculture Expectations, too. So, he was comfortable enough in queer spaces, but remained just sort of on the edges—was probably recognized by sight by other folks in NOLA who frequented queer events but wasn’t anyone’s best friend. Kinda shows up and makes small talk and goes home.

So, what sort of opinions and beliefs would he have absorbed from those edges? And how would they have been influenced by his own ace/aro perspective, from which ALL talk of sex and romance, whether queer or straight, is a foreign perspective that he could intellectually learn about but not ever really FEEL on an instinctive/gut level the way allo folks do?

I don’t know yet. Gotta find the right research materials first!

So tl;dr anon I don’t know yet whether he thinks taking it up the ass makes someone gayer than putting it in the ass.

[thatonebipotato]

Discarded Memories- 5(?)

This is hella late, and not as much gay as I wanted. My original idea for this chapter has now been split because I didn't want it to be too long(it's not) and I wanted to get it out faster, so, uh, yeet-

Story Warnings: Angst, memory loss, yelling, Deceit, manipulation in a way, Remus, uhhh I’ll add more when I think of them

Chapter Warnings: Deceit, nothing else

~~~~~

By the time Logan had finished his work, it was 5 am. He yawned, getting up from his chair and stretching. He accepted that he hadn’t gotten any sleep, and hoped he could finish his work, or at least spread out his schedule enough that he could at least take a small nap, 5 minutes at least. He grabbed the paper that sat atop a pile of papers that had been scribbled on, with words scratched out.

Names. That’s what they were. Deceit had wanted him to give him a name, and he wanted to do it right. He wrote in pen, but his lack of sleep had made him mess up too much, and he had wanted his list to be perfect. Once he had all the names he wanted listed, he made a fresh paper without cross marks or misspellings, and though the handwriting didn’t turn out as neat as he had hoped, he no longer cared. He was just glad he had finally done it, after hours of analyzing certain name meanings that would suit the snake side, and making a few of his own, which he hadn’t been too proud of but wrote down anyways.

Logan’s vision was blurry, and he could feel his heartbeat; lack of sleep wasn’t healthy, after all, especially so much. He walked- more stumbled- over to where Deceit lay on the beanbag, breathing evenly. He had fallen asleep yet again. Logan readjusted his glasses before gently shaking Deceit awake. Deceit shifted slowly, placing his hand on top of Logan’s before looking up at him with glassy eyes. They waited in silence until Deceit became focused again, sitting up stretching before looking into the other’s eyes again.

“You’re eyes are pretty,” said Deceit, quietly watching the pretty eyes widen in surprise He didn’t know why he said that. It was stupid to think that Logan didn’t already know his eyes were pretty.

Logan’s mouth fell open to say something, but he couldn’t. His throat was dry and tight, and his heart was louder in his ears now. He felt warm, and his stomach felt… weird. He rubbed his eyes again.

‘Damn lack of sleep,’ he thought, breathing deeply and gripping the paper tighter. “I made a list of names for you,” he finally said, voice hushed. He held out the paper, resisting a little as Deceit took to messy page, but letting it slip through his fingers in the end.

Though there wasn’t much to go off of, it was surprising how quickly his finger landed on a name; and Logan wasn’t sure if he wanted to believe it.

It was a name that he had made up on the spot, nothing backing it up, no meaning, one he himself had thought of.

Devon.

A cliche name, starting with the first two letters of the name he had gone by for years. It had no meaning that he knew of, and it had been one he had hastily written down, trying to get at least a few more names. He only knew of the name because he had heard it before, and he had somehow managed to misspell it twice. And it was the one he wanted.

“A-are you sure you want that one?” Logan asked. “I mean, there’s better names, ones that relate to something, ones with meanings, you don’t have to pick-”

“No!” Deceit- Devon- interrupts. “I want this one! It’s simpler than the others, and I like it.”

Logan sighed. Of course, only wanting the simple things. It wasn’t like that was a bad thing, though. He just didn’t understand why he had spent so much time remembering and looking through his books to find suitable names he thought would be chosen. Simple is always better. He wasn’t simple.

“Come on Dec- uh, Devon, we should go out and wait for the others. I’m pretty sure they’d like to do something, and it would be good for you to join them, in whatever they choose to do today.”

Deceit- Devon- had run out of the room by the time his sentence was finished, waiting just outside the door and bouncing where he stood, causing Logan to sigh. Yet another child he would have to deal with. As if three weren’t enough. He just hoped this one would be like Virgil: not much of a problem.

He turned the T.V. off, organizing the piles of DVD’s Devon had gone through and stacked beside his seat. He walked out of his room, looking around, but finding the tall child that was just there gone. So, he wasn’t like Virgil. That was going to be a problem. He now hoped he wouldn’t be worse than either of the other two.

“Devon,” Logan called out, trying to not be to wake the others by yelling. “Devon, come here. I don’t trust you to not be loud.” He sighed yet again, walking himself to the kitchen. He spotted Devon curled on the couch again, not asleep this time, though, but staring at him.

“So,” he asked, louder than Logan would’ve hoped, “the others are asleep then? What do you normally do while you wait for them?”

“Well,” he said, grabbing the coffee grounds, “normally no one else is awake, so I would sit here by myself. But, since you’re here with me this time, what would you like to do, Devon?”

Devon draped himself over the couch, staring into space and thinking. “Hm, I dunno. I don’t really know what there is to do, but you do!”

Logan sat and thought. A movie maybe? A video game? Perhaps a board game would interest him. But with seemingly no memory, how could either of them tell? And this upset Logan. He didn’t like not knowing things, even if he couldn’t control what he did and didn’t know. But that didn’t stop him from hating- no, that’s the wrong word- very strongly disliking that he didn’t have knowledge that wasn’t exactly that hard to find out. So far, Devon had willingly done everything offered to him and everything he found he could do, and, for the most part, enjoyed it all. So, he would just have to run an experiment, and see if there was anything he didn’t enjoy.

“How about chess?”

~~~~~

Patton yawned, stretching on the couch. They all had rooms of their own, and rooms for their functions. Patton preferred to stay in his “Nostalgia” room, as it was deemed by Roman. It was nicer there. He was surrounded by good feelings. And he loved it! I mean, how could he not? All the good feelings were there, and good feelings were… good! Great, even!

He felt sadder whenever he left, and it had been getting worse. So he had been staying longer than he would ever admit in that room. But since Deceit was there now, he would have to leave, to make sure his famILY was safe. Sure, Roman could protect them, but what if he couldn’t? Virgil would set off an alarm if something bad happened, but what if he ended up unable to? And Logan would likely never leave his room.

So, instead, he yawned as he got up, wrapped his onesie around his neck, and left the Good Room.

Patton walked down the mostly empty hallway, surprised to hear voices when it was normally silent in the morning.

“No no, you can’t do that.” Logan.

“Oh, I can’t?” And… Deceit.

“No, no you can’t,” Logan said, sighing. “The knight can only move like this. The bishop can move like tha- oh, hello there Patton.”

He smiled warmly at the other, watching them. “What’cha guys doing?” he asked, using a cheery tone.

“Logan’s teaching me how to play!” Deceit replied happily. “I’m pretty bad at it. But- but I’m getting there!”

“You’ll get it eventually, Devon, don’t worry.”

“Devon..?” Patton questioned, not realizing he had said it out loud.

“Deceit’s new name,” Logan replied quietly, focusing on his turn. “He didn’t like being called Deceit and asked me to give him a new one, so I did. Checkmate-” there was a groan of disappointment- “and, since Patton is here now, why don’t you help him make breakfast? Assuming that’s fine with both parties.”

“Yeah, sure,” Patton said, neither of the others seeming to pick up his reluctance. He didn’t trust ‘Devon’. He had hurt his famILY and he didn’t like that. But, if he couldn’t remember anything, perhaps he could… improve.

Devon followed Patton to the kitchen with no hesitation, bouncing on his toes the whole way.

“I’ve never seen someone so happy to help me cook!” Patton exclaimed, earning a bright smile and a giggle from the other. “I’m guessing you ‘don’t know how to cook’, so let’s just make pancakes, since it’s one of the easiest things I know how to make!”

He opened the cupboards, pulling out two pans, a bowl, a measuring cup, a whisk, and a spoon, flour, baking powder, salt, and sugar. He measured out the flour, baking powder, salt, and sugar, before putting it all into the bowl. He opened the fridge, pulling out the milk, eggs, and butter. He cut the butter and put it into a smaller bowl, before the bowl went into the microwave. He poured the milk, cracked the eggs, and handed Devon the whisk,

“I’m going to pour in the butter, and then you’re going to stir it, m’kay?”

Devon nodded, taking the whisk, and wondering if he should take off his gloves as he was handed the bowl that now contained butter.

“Uh- when do I stop?”

“I’ll tell you when,” Patton said, taking out more eggs and another bowl. He oiled up one of the pans, took the pepper out of the cupboards and placed it next to the salt, and cracked a few eggs. As he stood at the counter stirring the eggs, he watched the snake man awkwardly stir the batter in the silence. At least he was doing it right.

Slowly pouring the eggs into the pan, he pulled a spatula from the drawer and sighed contently. He had someone to help him cook now, even if they weren’t the closest. But someone to help is someone to help.

“Unacceptable!” came Roman’s voice, making both sides in the kitchen, as well as Logan, jump. “How has it only now occurred to me that you don’t have another outfit? Come!”

“Wait, but-,” Devon had luckily put down the bowl, just before he was being yanked away. “Oh, ok- I’ll be back, maybe!” he called behind him, stumbling slightly as he was being dragged away.

This day was either going to be fun, or a mess.

~~~~~

I'm on mobile so no cut, deal with it-

Also, some people seemed to... Disappear? Like, I can't tag them? So if you weren't tagged you know why

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[patricianandclerk]

Hello I'm new to Discworld but i dunno which one to start first. What are your some favorite books?

ah, as a fledgeling discworld fan, may i introduce you to an old disc fan saying: 

DON’T START WITH THE COLOUR OF MAGIC!

it means... love yourself

but no, much as i jest, it depends! but luckily, there is a beautiful starting guide by tumblr user @blackboard-monitor, and it’s a great clue on where to start! here is the link, but i shall reblog it in a moment anyway!

my personal favourites are:

Going Postal (#1 in Moist von Lipwig’s series, and in my opinion, quite a good place to start, especially if you want to understand my favourite character (Rufus Drumknott) right off the bat. it’s a very fast and loose introduction to the city of ankh-morpork, but is VERY fun. with that said, moist is much later in the timeline than some of the earlier books, and you may find that confusing when you go back and read earlier ones. there’s over 40 discworld books, and they run along a developed (if chaotic) timeline)

Raising Steam (#3 in Moist’s series, and not at all a good place to start. save this one until much later.)

Pyramids (this is standalone, and you can absolutely read it as a standalone. it’s about a gay pharoah being gay and doing gay shit like defying the laws of time and space.)

The Truth (this is also a standalone, and it’s in the Industrial Revolution section - it’s also much later in the chronology, but i would recommend it as a starting point because it’s just so fucking funny, even if you don’t know anything about discworld)

Snuff (this is the lattermost book in the City Watch series, and a terrible place to start, but it’s about racism, class, and caring about other people enough to learn and understand them even when their culture is very different to yours. 11/10.)

Monstrous Regiment (even if you don’t want to read discworld at all, this is perfectly good as a standalone fantasy novel. it’s about women who pretend to be men, for various reasons, so that they can join the army. there is a canonical trans men. there is genderfluidity and dicussions thereof. there are canonical lesbians. it’s fucking hilarious. must read.)

Reaper Man (this is one of the earlier Death books, but it’s also the series’ introduction to Mustrum Ridcully, who is the Archchancellor of the Wizards’ College, and who is also my dad. it was one of the first discworld books I read, and i would recommend it as a starting point also! it’s fun, chaotic, and more than a little wild, but good, good craic)

[amzngphil-rp]

The Ghost of Las Vegas|| Closed Phan AU

@danhowell-rp

Phil? What? Oh..*breath* sorry..who am I speaking to? Oh..let’s just say..it’s him..but better..and that voice is so sexy.  Phil!..*breathes* What are you doing?...SHhh Beta...This can’t be you..it’s not like you.. It’s not...

Dan and Phil had just finished their honeymoon buzz, living comfortably in Manchester. Dan had gone into adolescent psychology, working as a school counsellor and working up to be a part of a larger program that helps out youth. He wore his ring religiously, he polished it twice a week and kissed Phil goodbye every day when he went to work. Things felt like a dream, he could get up in the morning and smile at his husband, go to work. He’s motivated, and Phil was motivating him. He was happy, Phil was happy. Zack became a bit of a joke to them and would show up routinely to settle a petty fight brought on by overworking and immaturity.

They hadn’t spoken much about children, much less how’d they’d do it. Their conversations about the future were just as small and baseless as their arguments. Phil was ready, he wanted the settled life of kids and a home with his husband and continue his work as a film production assistant and producer to PJ mostly because he’d gotten bigger and maybe getting some bigger things to work on at the same time. 

He was going to get what he asked for, just maybe not in the way would want such a blessing to fall into their lap. It all started when an old friend was treating the newlyweds. 

“Well I don’t care, I don’t like how handsy and possessive she is about you when we’re around each other,” Dan explained, brushing his teeth, then walking into their bedroom and putting the toothbrush and toothpaste into a small plastic bag and threw it into his suitcase.

“Dan, she’s just...a little too friendly. And I’ve already talked to her about it and she said that she’s going to talk to you and me so that we reach an understanding-” Phil started to explain before being cut off.

“I’m married. I’m not trying to ‘understand’ how a girl doesn’t know when to give up because she thinks she’s entitled to you in some weird way. I go through it enough..Why does no one think I can handle being with you?!” Dan snapped, face red with an upset. It was very annoying, “You...I know you’re not perfect and I’m not...the strongest, but you love me...why is that anyone’s business?-”

Phil understands, Zack is eating this up. He’s so enveloped in the fact that it gets him every time. And that he’s made all of their friends and some family against him because, honestly, he could do better. However, he’s so much easier to control than others- it doesn’t take much. As they finish their quick hug, he sighs at the other and gives him a smirk, “You’re gonna be okay with your parents?”

“Yeah, pfft! You kidding? Ever since we got married, they’ve been so excited about my married life and things, so I just get to keep talking to them about how things are going and what we share and all of that,” Dan explained, “Also my brother wanted to ask about my honeymoon..I’m looking forward to going home for the first time in a while..” He really was, and he wished he could have his man with him to make it all worth it, but Cat wants him, and he’s gotta be fair.

“Well I’m going to talk to her about taking over her lease in the states, so we have a summer home when she moves to Las Vegas...It’ll be nice, right?” Phil assured him, “It’s mostly business and catching up...she plays poker and stuff now, you know?”

“It just means she’s better at lying,” Dan giggled. 

Cat and Phil hugged as he walked from baggage claim and quickly loaded his things into the car. 

“Vegas, huh? It’s crazy thinking you live among all this...gambling and buffets..and water displays,” Phil started as Cat drove.

“I play poker competitively now...I’m really getting into it, and I really really needed the cash,” she explained, giggling. Her chest rising and falling with a big sigh. 

“So uhh..you getting a smaller place right?”

“Yes, I am, and you guys said you wanted to take over my lease..I was wondering how..that was going to work,” she began. Phil sighs, “No, no, no! I mean it! You guys don’t have permanent citizenship in the US...”

“We do now..we have dual citizenship between here and the UK so that we don’t have to fly so far to go home to relax.”

“Well, what’s gonna happen when you guys have kids, you know?”

“Probably gonna keep the house, so they understand that their parents have a proper experience about our two places we love. We’d probably send them to school in the UK, though..summers, Christmas in the US, that kind of thing.”

“Oh...so..you guys have all the paperwork to apply then?”

“Oh yea, absolutely..”

“It’s a..pretty stressful process, you know, gotta make sure that your income and credit line up. Criminal background checks and...things..It’s Vegas, after all, they don’t need gangsters and mob bosses moving into their facilities temporarily and things like that.”

“Well I’m sure it’ll be a lot easier seeing as we’re just a gay couple,” Phil chided with a soft chuckle.

“You’d think so..it’s a little tricky,” Cat said slowly, making a turn towards the long road from the airport to her new apartment, “I just remembered that I left the keys at my place..uhh is it alright if I go and grab it?”

“Yeah, yeah...no problem. You can give me a tour while I’m there!” Phil said, looking at the upside.

Cat turned the car in the direction of her new place as they continued talking for some time; then an awkward silence fell over the vehicle. Phil knew what it was about. It was the same old conversation- well, argument. 

“Phil, I am really proud of you for doing your thing and I’m glad I can help you anyway that I can,” Cat began after taking a deep breath.

“Don’t start,” Phil cut her off, knowing this beginning too well, “I can’t believe you’d even talk about this outside of our wedding day, you promised!” 

“I know what I promised, but-”

“But nothing. You are not always going to bend rules and cross boundaries because you see something that you want-”

“Phil, all I know is that things weren’t this stressful when we were together. You weren’t bisexual when I met you. You and I were having so much fun-” 

“Zach is why you liked me being with you,” he mentioned.

“Who the hell is Zach? I recall only being with you and what you and I did-”

“Cat-”

“Are you even replacing your memories of me with memories of another guy?! I cannot- actually cannot-”

“Catherine, shut the fuck up!” Phil snapped, causing Cat to immediately stop and look at the man and then quickly back to the road as they were at the stoplight. Phil was slightly panting and staring the girl down to imply that he was serious. “Zach- okay well, you see...Zach is me, but it’s a whole other part of me. He’s aggressive, sexual, and, more importantly, manipulative. I’m bisexual, yes, so what happened between us was real, but it’s only from what I remember. Back then, I didn’t really know or remember anything else. They’re Zach’s memories.”

“So...like a twin?” Cat asked, furrowing her brow as she finally was listening to Phil. 

“Yeah, something like a twin. He just liked to come and go with my anxiety and I didn’t really know that until I was at the Youni and I got treated for it. They made me keep a journal for when I had any thoughts that weren’t my own, to Zach filling the book out himself and even though I love Dan, he’s his obsession. Meaning that good or bad, he wanted Dan. He had already worked you through and so he was setting up how things were going to be.”

“Oh...wow...so this apartment thing-”

“Is both an apology and me showing Zach who has control here.”

“That-That....It sounds like a really tough thing to go through. I’m sorry Phil...Well, why don’t I..uhh take you out, to dinner or lunch?! After the tours we can grab some food at this place that I take my friends to on their birthdays, I mean, it’s not your birthday, but you’ll like it a lot!” Cat said as they pulled into her parking space in her garage.

They toured the large suite and played with Beta for a little while before they grabbed the keys and went back out to the other apartment. Their drive had gone so normal and casual, like back when they were in school together. They hung close and when they got to the apartment, she looked at the large space again and sighed. Phil came up to her and put his arm around her shoulders. She leans into the touch and smiles at him rubbing her arm. He kisses the top of her head and walks her out of the apartment. “You’ll be okay, I promise. You’re gonna be the 20-time World Series of Poker Champion Cat Valdez with a.. I dunno, a Pepsi sponsorship...” Phil reassured her, knowing how hard it was for her to have to sublet and turn the lease over for the apartment to live in a smaller place with only one dog. 

[Incoming Call: Daniel]

Hey Sweetie! How’s your jet lag?

*groans, sighs* Ugh..it’s harder when I didn’t have you to sleep with on the plane..

Oh baby...*chuckles softly*

How’s it going with the witch?

She uhh..took it well. She did come around to what was going on after I had explained...

But..?!

No-No! No “but”. She’s completely understood what’s going on and she told me that she apologizes for making our relationship hard and any part of our marriage hard...

Wow..well, only time will tell

I know, Danny...Let’s just be happy we can sleep in the states after this.

You mean sleep in the states alone?

Yeah, sleep in the states alone.

Hey, Phil..

Yeah?

Can we get an apartment in Japan, too? Cus we like being there, too!

Maybe. We’d have to prove we’d live there-

Well, the kids can live on their own or we can rent out the places and live only in Japan!

Okay..maybe later..

You promise.

I promise, husband.

Several Weeks Later....

Dan and Phil sit quietly, cuddled up and scrolling through Twitter and not really watching some TV show. They would exchange small kisses and jokes here and there and the two could not be happier or more at peace. Phil’s phone rings and when Dan sees it, he moves back a little, looking at him confused. 

“She wouldn’t call you unless it’s important,” Dan reassured himself, and answered it for him, but quickly handed him the phone. He got up and grabbed the empty bowl on the coffee table and walked into the kitchen. Phil could hear water running as he washed out his bowl and heard Cat’s voice over the phone.

“Uhh is Dan there?” she asked, timidly.

“You know he is, he’s gone a stepped into the kitchen for a tick. What’s wrong? Is everything alright?” he asks, his stomach beginning to turn. To be safe, he put the call on speaker.

“So I don’t want to alarm you, but uhhhm. You said that when Zach is present, you like..don’t remember what happens bc it’s a completely different set of memories right?” 

“Yeah...why? Did something happen?” 

“It’s more of what already happened-”

“Catherine!” Dan piped up as he walked back into the room, “What the actual fuck are you saying?”

“I’m saying, before I was rudely interrupted, that I’m pregnant!” Cat said, now exulting a smile in her voice and now her distress sounds more like pride. He can hear her holding herself and laying her bed with Beta, biting her lip in anticipation.

“Ha, very funny. Nice to hear from you again,” Dan blurted, completely incredulous that she called them with a prank. The prolonged silence and distress on Phil’s face, soon melted his sass into rage, “Phillip Michael Lester-Howell....is she telling the truth?”

“I’m telling the truth. I’m 5 weeks already. They told me the time of conception was around the last time I saw Phil-”

Dan immediately hangs up the phone when he rips it out of Phil’s hand, putting it on the couch and storms into their bedroom. He was so blind with rage and upset. He did a few laps around their bed, and then went into the hall closet to grab his luggage. He began silently, yet aggressively packing much of his dark clothes as tears began to stream down his face. 

Phil was frozen. The color he had left had vanished from his face and he was a statue. He called Cat back and took a deep breath, “What happened?” she asked before he could even say anything.

“Dan’s leaving,” he said gruffly and quiet, “And I don’t know what will happen next.”

“What will happen next...is that I come out to England and get the best maternal care that you have to offer me.”

---

[Incoming Call: Phillip]

What?

Dan, h-how’s work going on for you? Alright yeah?

Yea I guess. How’s the alien doing? Is she done vomiting all over our house?

Not quite. 

Where is she even sleeping? S-

Don’t. She doesn’t sleep with me. She sleeps in the guest room. She told me it’s more comfortable because our bed is too soft. 

That’s good. So if I came over I could smell you all over my side.

Yes, I wish I didn’t have the whole bed to myself...

Well until the bed you made leaves, I’m standing my ground, babe. I miss you though...

This is stupid. Why can’t you live with her?

Because she hates me. You know that she hates me. And especially when she knows that we’re keeping the baby.

She’s a girl...

I know that, Phi-

No..I mean, she’s having a girl...We’re gonna have a daughter.

Oh...I wanted...*scoffs* I actually didn’t know what I wanted..(Is that Phil?)

Hey Bryonny...are you taking good care of Dan for me?

More than you’ll know! I appreciate you basically giving me a husband.

I’m only renting him out, so don’t get too crazy, okay Bry?

I get that. I barely see him. He’s usually out or he’s talking to PJ or Joey or something. Also he works, so he’s usually busy.

Keep taking care of him for me. And can you put him on again?

Sure thing love.

Babe, something is wrong..

I’m fine! Stop worrying so-

No I mean something is wrong with me..

What? You’re dying of a broken heart?

Daniel...I think Zach is gone..

What?! Are serious?

Yeah...I haven’t had an episode in a long time..No journal entries or anything. I think I need to go to the doctor...

Well that’s a good thing..right? No more Zach making your life hell?

I don’t have a good feeling about it..

Look babe. I know it feels weird not having him around, but it’s probably for the better. It should mean that it’s the start of new things to come.

If..If you say so...(Philly come here! She’s kicking!) Uhh I’ll see you later. I’ll come and visit some time this weekend. I’ll take you to lunch or something.

If I don’t have something to do but then, then I don’t see why not...

Alright (Phiiiill!) 

You should go see what she wants. Look, I love you, miss you.

Love you, miss you...

[purplesurveys]

474

Tumblr makes the spacing kinda weird by the end, idk why but I hope it gets better for everyone else who wants to take this haha.

ONE - HI THERE! It’s an intro!

What do most people call you? Robyn. In what month is your birthday? April. What country were you born in? The beautiful but politically miserable Philippines. Do you have siblings? How many, if you do? I do; I have two. I’m the eldest, but they aren’t that far off from me. Who do you live with? I’m still studying so I’m living with family for now – mom and dad, a sister and a brother, and a dog. I really want to move out in the next couple of years though.

Are you in a relationship? Yes. Do you go to school? As I said, yes. I’m in university but I’m supposed to graduate next year. What mood are you in right now? Well, I wrapped up my internship last week and my entire weekend was booked with stuff I did, so now I’m just super glad to be home and bum around after all that hectic-ness. I just had 8 hours of sleep and am feeling pretty well-rested right now. What does your shirt look like? I’m wearing a big-ass gray Knicks sweater that’s like 3 sizes bigger for me. What’s your zodiac sign? Taurus.

TWO - Your Appearance

If you could have plastic surgery on any one body part, what would it be?Boobs. They’re so abnormally small that I’m tired of having to waste what would have been completely bomb outfits just because of my chest.

Are you satisfied with your hair? It could have less baby hair, honestly. But I’m fine with it for the most part.

Do you have a hitchhikers or a straight thumb? It’s a straight thumb. My left pinky is quite crooked though.

What colour are your eyes? Dark brown.

Do you have any tan lines? No, I haven’t gone to the beach in a while.

How old do people usually think you are? I just asked this question to Gabie last week and she said that I look 15.

What about your appearance do you get complimented on the most? Face and my overall figure.

Are you comfortable with your weight? Sure, but it’s always worrisome when I get to the lower 90s.

Do you have any piercings or tattoos? Where? Yeah, just the basic earlobes piercings that my parents got for me when I was a couple of months old.

How tall are you? I am 5′1″ and a half. I’m shorter than 5′2″, that’s for sure.

THREE - True or False

I love winter. Neither true or false as I have never experienced snow. I think I’d love it though.

I have eaten meat in the past five days. True. Filipinos eat meat a lot.

I have painted a room in a house. False. My mom is so controlling over adult things like that so she hired people to do it to all our rooms.

I can whistle. True. I learned pretty early.

My keyboard is black. True-ish? The buttons are black, but the spaces between them are silver.

I have never bought something off an infomercial. True. My mom would be so furious because it would be her money anyway.

I own a snuggie / would like to own a snuggie. False.

I bite my pens / pencils. False. I do bite my straws though.

I wear glasses / contacts. True.

My nails are painted right now. False.

FOUR - Childhood Memories!

What was your all time favourite movie as a kid? THE GAME PLAN, without a shadow of a doubt. Watched that shit everyday through third and fourth grade. My runner-up would be High School Musical.

Do you still have your first pair of shoes somewhere? Doubt it. My mom isn’t big on memories like me.

Did you have anything you always dragged around the house, like a blanket?Nope. I did use my parents’ blanket as a cape some days, and other days it would be a gown train and I’d pretend I was the Queen, but I wouldn’t drag it because it would get dirty.

What toy did you play with the most? I was always into grownup stuff so I always got kitchen appliances, dollhouses, etc. I once had toys that mimicked a pizza restaurant and it had a pizza roller and it was super fun for me haha. Once I got a pretend cash register though it was game over for all these bitches.

Did you ever bring your favourite toys in the bathtub? We didn’t have a bathtub, but yeah we would bring in our toys when we would shower.

Did you used to take baths with siblings/cousins? ^ Ooh, barely missed it. Yes, we did.

Are you still friends with your best friends from long ago? A handful are still my best friends. I keep in touch with most of my batchmates from my high school because we’re all close and we’re family and there was generally very little drama – and if there was, it was easy to let go.

Do your parents ever tell you stories about how cute/silly you were? They have several stories, but I was mostly a quiet kid who didn’t like getting in trouble.

Did you go to the park often? What was a typical outfit for the 5-year-old you?Blouses with a girly pattern, denim jeans, and Nike rubber shoes. The top always has to be tucked in.

FIVE - FAVOURITES

Actor/Actress: Kate Winslet

Singer/Band/Both: Beyonce / Paramore

Chocolate: Reese’s

Toothpaste: ??? Whatever we have at home I guess?

Picture of yourself: Nah man, not doing that here.

Pair of sunglasses: I don’t have a favorite.

Vegetable: Broccoli!

Sandwich: Monte Cristo

Aspect of nature: Waterfalls

Word to say: “Literally”

SIX - Love Life ;)

Who was the first person to ever ask you out? No one’s ever asked me out before. Although I think that dude from one of my classes in sophomore year intended to…but I dunno. We were paired up together for this class and he wanted to spend time with me in a coffee shop after our work was done; I didn’t feel comfortable just being by myself so I told him in advance that I was gonna be bringing Gabie…never heard from him ever again :/

What does your ideal date consist of? Dinner somewhere nice (Italian or Japanese) should be enough for me.

What’s one thing your partner must be able to accept about you? I get sad and I’ll need loooooooong stretches of time alone some days.

Does your ideal person have any special talents? She can paint and draw. She doesn’t really share these with other people but she does with me.

Do your parents like the person you’re with? (Or the last person) My parents liked Mike and were convinced something was happening between us lmao. They don’t know about my relationship with Gabie yet.

Do you like pet names? Yes when it’s just the two of us. Publicly, I control myself, cos I know it annoys me when other people are too showy/vocal. Like I don’t call Gab pet names when we’re out with friends; and when we’re out at the mall or whatever, I’m not very physical other than holding her hand.

What is your age range? Same age. I can’t imagine dating someone younger or older, but then again this is because I haven’t had any other experience.

What is one attribute that your ideal partner must have? Sincerity.

When was the last time someone seriously said “I love you.” to you? This morning.

Have you ever been in more than one relationship at a time? No.

SEVEN - The wonderful world of the Internet!

What is your most used website? Probably Twitter. It’s the first thing I check everyday.

Do you play any online games? Other than playing on Y8 when I was younger, no.

Which chat program do you use most often? Messenger.

Facebook vs Myspace- which is better? I haven’t used Myspace in a hot minute, so I’ll go with Facebook.

Is there someone you met online that you’d like to meet in person? Yes, I’m still waiting to meet Aliyah. Girl is in BGC every single day but I can’t seem to grab lunch or dinner with her!

Have you ever sold something on Ebay or Craigslist? No.

Have you ever gone on Chatroulette? Or Omegle video? Yeah, when I was like 12 and curious about the Internet haha.

Are there any videos of yourself on Youtube? I don’t think so.

Mac or PC? Mac.

Have you ever Googled your name? I’ve Googled my username before, but not my name.

EIGHT - This or That?

Twilight or Harry Potter?

French fries or potato wedges?

Liquid ortape white out?

Digital or film camera?

Nail clippersor nail scissors?

Rock, paper, or scissors?

Beard or mustache?

Knee high or ankle socks?

Hockey or basketball?

Mr Clean or sponge and ‘the other leading cleaning product’?

NINE - Be cool, stay in school!

What subject are/were you best at? It’s always history, or social studies in general.

How old will you be when you graduate high school / how old were you? I was 18 when I graduated.

Isn’t there that point in the year when you stop caring so much? Yep, it’s usually when you’re a senior.

Do/did you have any really cool teachers? In UP? Absolutely. There’s a lot of shitty profs, but the cool ones are way too hardcore.

Who is/was your most strict teacher? Sir Ruel in my old school. Old man was and is such a fucking loser. Once had a comment about my breasts and I never forgot about it. Also kicked me and a bunch of other kids out of his class in fifth grade because we didn’t have crayons. He actually got booted by the school for a year because a parent complained about him, but he came back after.

Where do/did you sit at lunch? In high school, the cafeteria was too crowded so my friend group would hang out in our classroom, since most of us were classmates. Right now, lunch just depends on my schedule and where I happen to be by noon.

What do/did you do at recess? Catch up on homework I skipped the night before.

There’s always that one kid who no one really knows, right? LOL, yes.

Is/was your cafeterias food actually any good? It used to be good. Then they kind of hired this company to start making the meals starting junior year and the food was never as good again.

Do/did you have a stereotypical school, with all those cliques and such? You can say that. We had popular party kids, smart but still cool kids, soccer players, the basketball players who all turned out gay, kids who kinda just hovered in the middle, and those who were kinda brushed to the side were the theatre and anime kids.

TEN - Randomly Platypus.

Do you like your toothbrush really wet when you’re brushing your teeth? Not really wet. I just make sure I’ve put it under the running water before applying the toothpaste.

What song are you currently obsessed with? Not into anything at the moment.

What was the stupidest dare you’ve ever done? I hate dares, so I don’t do them haha.

Do you enjoy playing with tape? No?

What’s one word/phrase you say too much? LITERALLY. Which is a problem because most of the time, the things I associate the word with aren’t literal.

When was the last time you went trick-or-treating? 2017.

What did you last use a knife for? Haha, my orgmates were cooking up lunch and I volunteered to chop up the onions. Fun fact: First time to use a knife, ever.

When you open a pack of gum, why is everyone your best friend? Because gum is always a good idea.

What has been on your mind way too much? Completing my requirements for internship so I can submit them as early as possible.

Did you actually enjoy my survey? Sure. Categories are always fun.