#by doing crimez

[austajunk]

Best girl gone bad EVER. Thank you, Akudama Drive!

[dove-da-birb]

mossy moss

C R I M E Z

[yther]

ongoing disappointment that I wasn't actually stalked and murdered (affectionately) over the nights these past few weeks

[fishybehavior]

What do u mean my blorbo is evil?? Is bad??

No no no, lil UwU guy!!

Never commit crimez!!

[not-without-my-oreos]

Hello!

Are you a sapphic queer without a Discord home?

Do you love shows like Law and Order and Criminal Minds?

Do you want a place to gush about Jemily with other sapphics?

Are you 18+?

Well, I have a Discord home for you!

Come and join Be Gay Solve Crimez - a place for sapphics to gush about sapphic things, share fanfiction, pet pictures, talk about sports and other such gay shit.

Join here: Be Gay Solve Crimez

[qqueenofhades]

I was wondering if you think things would have gone differently for McCarthy if he had immediately shut down the Biden impeachment idea, what with no evidence and all? Personally if I was in congress and saw someone willing to go to such lengths to try to court just a few extremists/crazies in their own party, I’d be super worried about what they would demand next from him

No, because he was 100% in a no-win situation of his own making. He bent over backward to appease the crazies by bringing the "impeachment" investigation, which instantly proved to be a total disaster exposing the complete absence of any actual evidence and was seen as such by everyone, including Fox. Because McCarthy sold his soul to get the job in the first place by pandering to the most extremist elements of the GOP House caucus, he willingly agreed to the situation where just one loony would be able to introduce a motion to vacate him -- which, uh, is exactly what just happened. This was a ticking time bomb, and it's extremely hard to feel bad that it went off. Chekhov's Matt Gaetz, or something.

Basically, Kevin was damned-if-he-did, damned-if-he-didn't. He enraged Democrats by bringing the sham impeachment and by going on TV and blaming them (as he continues to do even now) for "not wanting to pass" the budget deal, when they were the only reason the government didn't shut down. He had repeatedly lied to them, kissed up to Trump, and otherwise been profoundly untrustworthy. He didn't have enough spine or character to shut down the impeachment business, and even if he had, he would have been even more compromised in the eyes of the far-right lunatics (blah blah "Hiding The Truth About Biden's Crimez And Working With Democrats To Stop It!"). Who indeed would have tried to remove him on that alone. This was all completely predictable and unavoidable from the moment he sold every single scrap of principle or customary House rule just to futilely attempt to appease the worst people alive, get his paws on the gavel for barely 9 months, and accomplish literally nothing, thus to go down in flames as a literal first-in-history laughingstock. Hope it was worth it, Kev!

[zahri-melitor]

Connor and Tim: They’ve Got a Dad Thing

With the DC Pride story, I’m having soft thoughts about Tim Drake and Connor Hawke talking about their feelings, identities and dads together, which is something they do remarkably often for two characters who are friends but have never been on the same team or family. Also Tim brings up Connor not being able to drive. A lot.

Going through a bunch of their appearances:

Green Arrow #105: The first meeting! Connor and Tim are chasing after Connor's stepfather, who has committed CRIMEZ buying weapons in Gotham. They take the time to discuss such important issues as ‘not being the first person to have their identity’, legacies, Tim’s love for cars, Connor’s inability to drive, and Lady Shiva.

Connor stays in town, leading to their next team up in Robin #25. Tim’s chasing down a DIFFERENT group of gunrunners after one of his classmates brought a gun to school. The dad angle here is actually Tim sending Jack to talk to his classmate’s dad about bringing a gun to school. There isn’t nearly as much fun banter between Connor and Tim here, but they still get to spend some time appreciating each other’s martial art skills.

Also notably Tim emotes quite a bit to Connor (and also Steph) about how he feels about his classmate getting shot (due to bringing the gun to school) and how fighting for revenge feels (it’s not something Tim enjoys).

The next team up is Batman Chronicles #7! Connor shows up to talk to Tim about Ollie and what it’s like trying to live up to a legend, and Tim tells him a story of a Bruce & Ollie team up. They bond over being legacies for Batman and Green Arrow.

The next time Connor and Tim team up is my all time favourite, Brotherhood of the Fist. It happens following Cataclysm but before No Man’s Land. Tim and Connor get a full crossover together! (Ok Bruce and Dick and Eddie Fyers are also there). Everyone is having problems with the Monkey Fist cult, who are busy having a martial arts competition while taking down various martial arts masters.

Tim and Connor once again get the chance to talk about dads (and also the fact Connor STILL doesn’t have his licence). This time it’s discussing whether Batman is Tim’s dad. He’s not! Connor’s still feeling like he has to live up to Ollie’s legacy! Tim empathises and tells him Batman approves.

Tim’s also a martial artist fanboy.

Eventually Connor ends up having to fight Lady Shiva! Tim saves Connor’s life by using his life debt with Shiva, and everyone tells Connor how good he was keeping up. (Nobody acknowledges Tim HAS that life debt due to managing to kill Shiva by accident a few months ago, because Tim’s fight record against her is full of ‘Tim wins due to shenanigans’)

(I love this crossover so much, folks)

Robin #78-79: Connor drops into Gotham again, because all of Tim’s classmates at Brentwood have something weird going on. This time they’re taking down a demon! Tragically they’re too busy running away from the demon to have any good conversations about their dads this time, but Tim DOES get some jokes in about the car.

(Eddie Fyers does not appreciate this and gives as good as he gets, bringing up the only mention of a dad).

Batgirl #30-32. Connor and Eddie show up to investigate the murder of some rich folk who belong to a specific secret society. A member of this club is Jack Drake. Amazingly, Connor and Tim get to talk about dads even while they’re in Cass’ book. Connor and Eddie kidnap Jack Drake and Eddie pretends to be him at an awards ceremony to save his life. This is very funny as Dana, Tim and Steph are in the audience and Tim at least recognises Eddie on sight. Eddie then gets kidnapped by the assassins.

Once Tim and Steph regroup and meet up with Connor and Cass, Tim still has time to tease Connor about being unable to drive and take control of the vehicle. Again.

The group tracks down the van that Eddie was kidnapped in, leading to Tim very awkwardly trying to explain how he knows who Jack Drake is.

Identity Crisis #6. Now this one is not so much a Connor and Tim team up so much as a very important moment on the topic of Connor, Tim and their feelings about dads. (I will never not be annoyed that Ollie doesn’t show the paper to Connor, given that Connor knows about Jack Drake, even if he doesn’t know that Tim is Tim)

This is an important part of the Connor and Tim relationship, dammit, even if neither of them realise this moment happened.

Unfortunately after this point the Bad Times start for both Connor and Tim for a while (several continuities of a while). Not so much time hanging out together talking about what being a legacy means to them and what’s in a father.

But they’re both FINALLY back in continuity, themselves, and in the same place. So what did they do together this week? They met up, talked about coming out, their dads, and their feelings. (No cars this time, though).

Damian thinks they’re joking about sitting about talking about their feelings. They absolutely are not. 

[gracklinging-electricboogalo]

actually wtf is clarence doing in the space au. in my head he’s just living out in the middle or bumfuck nowhere in a shitty barely useable but humongous spaceship. bro got banished for some crimez

[grumblr-staff]

biitches thiink theyre so bold comiing onto grumblr And Admiitiing liiterAl criimes. hAh. iim biitches. -@curatedgeologist

NO . YOU ’ RE A LAW ABiDiNG CiTiZEN OF THE EMPiRE . YOU DON ’ T DO CRiMEZ . YOU DON ’ T KNOW WHAT A CRiME iZ . ZHUT THE FUCK UP !!

[itsyagurlchip]

ughhh i wanna do crimez....

[gaylildino]

Shi about me

f 28

I like dinosaurs my cat and apparently being gay and or doing crimez

Tha ks for viewing ig

Also boop!

[wormstuck]

Also Yaz!!! Last time I managed to catch you you said you got into reading! What made you start hitting the books? :0

VITYAZ: hmmm

VITYAZ: technically what i waz doing waz illegal but im fairly zure dracma already confezzed to a number of crimez here

VITYAZ: zo i think ill be okay

VITYAZ: if im not tho, it waz nice meeting you all!

VITYAZ: anyhoooo

VITYAZ: i waz doing zome rezearch into a perzon who iz very zpecial to me

VITYAZ: are you familiar with the teachingz of the zufferer?

[spiritgenie]

Rather than humans hurting monsters, I’m more leaning into how majority of humans of certain groups would accept monsters (and soon, yokai) in this day and age. I saw a tumblr post about this particular topic about how these following groups:

Anime, fiction, fantasy lovers

Animal support groups and Pet lovers

LGBTQA+

Movie Directors or Theatre (to cut down the cost of cgi and costumes.)

Scientists (especially environmentalists with the creation of the core as a power source) and Astronomers (with the existence of non-oxygen dependent monsters or yokai.)

And probably many more. Lol imagine those particular support groups would be the protectors of monsters from hate crimes.

Sure it would be a rocky situation, but I would like to imagine how the interspecies interaction be beneficial for everyone in the long run.

Also about the souls, I have a suggestion about yokai being resilient monster souls while for mutants… It depends on the person if they would see themselves as human or monster. But the thing is that the ooze created is primarily used for the destruction of mankind, and the mutated people would rather use it for crimez lol.

oooh, never thought about that

i do think that the krang invasion would defiently cause a division, like there would be humans who do nto trust yokai, mutants, or monsters anymore, as the krang did literaly try to destroy the world

and also i do think that the monsters coming out would cause the turtles to stop trying to hide, despite never really hiding to begin with, humans just wanted to pretend they didnt know what they were

also the "resilient monster souls" just gave me an idea

yokai could also have determination in them, and some of the soul traits, like their souls are still unsidedown white hearts, but they have an outer glow thats a certain color like human souls

and with the mutants and depending on how they view themselves could perhaps bring a whole question on "is it possible to change your soul from human to monster and vice versa" cause that would absolutely cause some scientific intrigue in both monsters and humans

the turtles and splinter would probably have human souls if that is the case

[florathegnarpian]

"Hey ziz, wanna go do zome war crimez?"

*Atrocity would look up at Flora with an unusually wide grin.*

• @foxxy-denton-the-silly, rping as Atrocity

"Normally no, but I dunno what zhe heck I'm meant to do anymore anyway."

tw: slight mention of pills (she's just putting them away)

*puts away painkillers* "...And you keep theze away from yourzelf."

[enchantedtomeet-giselle]

White Lie | Self Para

Date: Early August 2024 Featuring: Claire Adams Warnings: Mention of murder/Order crimez (nothing graphic)

Giselle visits her mother.

Swynlake was actually a lot closer to the prison than Milton Keynes was, and Giselle had promised at the start of the summer that she would seize the opportunity to visit Mama. That she was so excited, even, that she had the opportunity to do it, thanks to Mrs. Phillip's choice of vacation destination. And yet, it was August and Giselle had not yet visited.

Mama hadn't complained about this. Somewhere, deep down, Giselle imagined that Mama dreaded this visit as much as Giselle did, no matter how much they both pretended that they were excited.

Giselle hadn't even been present at Mama's trial. The last time she'd seen her was the summer of 2022, when Mama had dropped Giselle off at the Phillip home and promised they'd see each other again soon. Giselle hadn't even looked at the photos in the papers. Mama didn't want Giselle to see her this way, and Giselle wasn't sure she wanted to see her mother like this, either.

But the guilt was worse. The four-hour multi-bus trek was hardly an excuse. Giselle knew she might be Mama's only remaining child left, if Aunt Susan's brainwashing had gotten to Jamie and Meggie, and Giselle had a duty to her mother. So she woke up before dawn and took the first bus to the Next Town Over, then another to Gloucestershire, and then a third to HMP Eastwood Park.

It was such a refined name for such a dreary place. Giselle had, for some reason, imagined a country estate like the ones the Order families hosted summer parties and tourneys at. That was the sort of place Mama belonged, not a concrete box.

Giselle filed out of the bus behind everyone else who was here for the same reason as her, flinching when people gave her dirty looks for moving too slowly. When the security guard confiscated the tin of candies Giselle had brought (her mother's favorite), she nearly cried.

"I promise, they're just candies," Giselle pleaded.

"They have to go through the proper channels," the guard replied in an exhausted tone, like she'd had this conversation five times already today.

"B-but there's nothing bad in them, they're just-"

"Could you please move along? There's a queue forming."

Giselle swallowed hard and handed over the tin of candies, following the person ahead of her to the waiting area. The guard had stared at her like she'd done something wrong. She didn't understand it. They were just candies. And when Giselle had tried to explain herself, she hadn't even listened...

After what felt like an eternity, Giselle was shuffled into the visitation room. It took her a moment to recognize Mama. But their eyes met, and Giselle knew, of course-

It was just, well, Mama looked so different. She seemed to have aged ten years in just two, with bags under her eyes (perhaps new, or perhaps they had just been disguised before by makeup) and lanky shoulder-length hair that was more gray than brunette now.

"Oh, Giselle- you came after all. I- you really shouldn't- well, you came anyway, didn't you?" She blinked and cleared her throat, and Giselle could tell she was holding back tears too.

And in that moment, Giselle hated Aunt Susan. She often said that she didn't hate anyone, that it was a strong word and there was too much hatred in the world to contribute more to it. But Giselle hated Aunt Susan, and she hated anyone who had helped to put Mama in this place when she hadn't even done anything wrong.

Yes, Giselle knew people said that Mama had aided in murder, that she'd covered up criminal activities and facilitated Magick poaching. That she'd trafficked illegal magical items and sabotaged investigations and the list went on. But those people had to be wrong. This was Mama.

"I tried to bring your favorite candies," Giselle choked. "But they wouldn't let me."

And now she did start crying, and Mama's forehead wrinkled in concern. "Giselle, are you quite unhappy? Working for the Phillips? I knew they shouldn't have brought you to that Magick town..." And she looked so sad in that moment, Giselle couldn't bear it.

Giselle sniffled. "No, no- Swynlake is wonderful. I mean- not because of the magic." Well, that wasn't entirely true, but now was not the moment to have that conversation with Mama, about how some magic was quite lovely. She didn't want to upset Mama more. "I'm taking that class at the university, you remember? The literature class? The professor thinks I've got quite a bit of promise."

Mama actually smiled at that. "Oh, that is nice," she said. "And what about that young man, the one you mentioned you were writing letters to? You never mentioned how that went at the prom."

"Oh." Guilt burned in Giselle. She hadn't realized she was lying to Mama when she'd written to her about that. In a sense, that made it okay, right?

And if it was okay, what was one more little lie?

"Yes, it went perfectly. Just how I imagined," Giselle said. "I think he- I think he would fit in so nicely with our family. He shares many of our ideas."

She said it as though their family still existed. As though their family was not ripped apart at every seam. Maybe if Giselle did just what she had to do, she could make it whole again.

"Oh, good. Giselle, that is such a relief," Mama said, just as the guard announced they were almost out of time. "You are making me so proud, my darling. You should go. It's a long journey home. But please, write to me about this class. And about this man. We'll be together again soon enough, I just know it."

Giselle managed to hold her tears back this time, even though the allowed brief hug goodbye. She didn't want to scare Mama again. She wanted to make her proud. And she would, Giselle resolved, as she settled into the long bus ride back to Swynlake. She would excel in this class, whatever it took.

And somehow, somehow, she'd find someone even better than A.B. to correct the lie once and for all and make it the truth.

[pesterloglog]

Calliope, Roxy Lalonde

Act 6, page 5582-5588

uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering tipsyGnostalgic [TG]

UU: .......................

TG: hey u!

TG: thanks god yuo just cherred me

TG: *cheered

TG: you saved me frog myself

TG: from manking more rude crimez

TG: agoinst LILTERTATURE

TG: ***dyurp

TG: see hat i mean??

UU: .......................

TG: h mmmm,

TG: yeha uh

TG: calliopep?

TG: what gives

TG: wait

TG: howww...

TG: do i know your name?

TG: i donk remenber you telling it to me

TG: bus somehow i kno

TG: its calliope

UU: .......................

TG: say something!

TG: man i am drunk enough without havin to solve ur dot puzzles

TG: um

TG: am i even drunk?

TG: actually

TG: i dont think so

TG: why did i think i was?

TG: what is happening here

TG: calliope talk 2 me!!!

UU: .......................

TG: huh?

TG: what was that

TG: thought i heard somethin

TG: is there something out here?

TG: how is that possible

TG: when the window has no power

TG: wtf is that

TG: it is like

TG: a technicolor dreamcrack

TG: in the spooky void

UU: .......................

TG: and what is THAT