#c.d. gray

[neoyorzapoteca]

AGAINST THE ENCROACHING GRAYS

I held up the femur of a grasshopper

some blue air fell over me what I want is less clear to me now than it was then

to be loved to the end without ruth or recrimination to forgive myself as others

have forgiven me to enjoy the birds with little bones

at the farmers’ market I still see his truck from time to time

notices on utility poles for a lost dog answering to Scout sometimes I sit

in a café pretending to read but knowing

I want to be the one to find Scout instead

I do what I have done I wake up and join the struggle

of the trees to find a way through and then

a dark clot of poetry breaks off

C.D. Wright, via The New Yorker

(This is drawn from “The Essential C. D. Wright.”)

[lara635kookie]

Ship Analysis let's go.

RedCrackle, CarmIvy and Carulia.

A lot of people tend to say "Carmen said a multiple times Gray is like a big brother to her" No, she only said it twice. And after the Opera in the Outback Caper she never says it again. Besides, while talking about this she says:

"I THOUGHT I KNEW you like the big brother I never had UNTIL THAT MOMENT."

"I know, but before he was Crackle he was Gray and Gray WAS like a big brother to me."

She uses the verbs on the PAST, as in NOT ANYMORE. BLACK SHEEP SAW HIM LIKE A BROTHER, NOT CARMEN SANDIEGO. And the same logic applies to Gray. His teenage self saw Black Sheep as a sister, but that's not how his adult self sees Carmen Sandiego. Gray only FLIRTED with her when he had lost his memories. But FLIRTING isn't the only way of showing love.

And I actually liked this aspect of the finale because you can choose who Carmen goes with or if she stays alone. But at the same time I am a romance sucker and Gray and her really felt to me like the most implied ship. They have too many parallels, more than Julia and Ivy combined. They are literally red and blue. And no, Julia isn't blue either. Julia never wore blue. Not even once. Her dress at TSONTS interactive special was black, like pretty much everything she ever used(The only exception I recall is that photo of her with her mother where she's wearing pink). And I have proof:

Of course people have different perspections of color but these circles are the colors I've seen Julia wearing. At least to my eye, Julia never wore one single shade of blue(as long as I can remember). Unlike Ivy. Girl has blue eyes, her shirt sleeves were blue and she wore a light blue with lilac dress to The Need of Speed Caper(I'm not sure if that's really the name of the episode but you know what episode it is, that one with Trey Sterling where a badass biker Carmen fights with Zack and Ivy because they messed up in stealing a super car and for arrested, we're introduced to The Mechanic and The Driver and yay found family has an official headquarters now).

The thing is, Carulia can have different interpretations to every single one of their interactions. You can see them as romantic or not. Meanwhile, with Red Crackle and Carmivy, the romance scenes are clearly romance scenes. I think Julia showed some little interest in Carmen, but Carmen never showed interest in Julia. And I'll tell you why:Carmen meets Julia on a train in India, to keep an eye on Paper Star, where we have the following dialogue.

Carmen:Is this seat taken? (Sits before having an answer)

Julia:Actually yes. But, feel free to use it, until my partner returns.

Carmen:Partner? (Looks to the side, to the other seat while the camera focus on a suitcase with the C.D initials)

Julia:(clears throat)Travel partner.

We see later on the episode that Carmen leaves the Magna Carta along with Devineaux's suitcase on the other seat she looked at. So I interpretate that Julia got it wrong what she meant and Carmen realized she was with Devineaux. Of course you can interpretate otherwise but here's the thing:Unlike Red Crackle and Carmivy, Carulia doesn't have any moment that is UNQUESTIONABLY romantic. You can always interpretate the Carulia moments as friendship or something else.

The fashion caper with the medicis dresses and hypnotized models, you can interpretate that Carmen was checking her out or analyzing her outfit to enter the runway. The Stockholm Syndrome Caper you can interpretate Julia was checking her out or she was really just concerned about Carmen freezing in the winter(which seemed more likely to me). Then Julia leaves A.C.M.E. and some people say she left because of Carmen. I definetely agree that's one of the reasons but we see that the main reason is because she wants to work more with history, her true passion. Where her heart was. And she wanted to leave because of Carmen not because she's in love with her but because she believes Carmen is good and the rest of A.C.M.E. doesn't and she doesn't want to chase someone who is doing good but as she already tried to convince people and wasn't heard, she left. Or because she doesn't understand Carmen's actions being so confusing, sometimes good, sometimes seem to be not so good so she was just sick of the mess and drama and wanted to comeback to just history which seemed to be so since when Devineaux goes to ask Julia if the "crimson ghost" was good Julia goes all like "that's a hard question to answer". At least that's my interpretation. And when Chief says something about A.C.M.E. stopping to chase Carmen and Julia goes like:"Or I'll have to retire/quit/leave all over again" it proves one of the reasons she left was Carmen, but doesn't go over the implications. It might be love, it might not be. It can be the things I stated before. Julia being "Carmen's favorite A.C.M.E. Agent" can be seen in a love light, but also in a friendship light. Julia saying "Who knew my two keen areas of interest would ever collide" which I interpretate as being closer to history and still doing super secret stuff but sure it can be Carmen. The thing is that the Carulia moments are never something SURE that only has romantic interpretation and nothing else. Carmen doesn't even show any signs of jealousy in hearing Julia is going to have lunch with Devineaux. And some people go like:She was jealous when Devineaux picks her phone. For me, seems unlikely. She could just be wondering why was Devineaux picking up her phone in her office and where Jules was, thinking Devineaux was being invasive like we know he can be sometimes. The way she partners up with Devineaux to save Julia, she would have done to save anybody else. And lastly, To Steal or Not to Steal. First having Julia to help is not even a canon event, since Carmen can save Zack and Ivy without it and then the final scene with Julia doesn't happen. Secondly, red roses definitely have romantic views but at the same time they are also a common symbol of respect. People throw them at stages, at ice skating rinks, etc, in a way of saying "Good Luck" or "Good Job", which is proven since Carmen also gives red roses to Lupe Peligro before her fight. Julia blushes when she sees the roses, what indicates she liked it. As I said, I realized some interest from Julia, but never Carmen. Because we don't know if Carmen gave this roses to her out of love or the other reasons I listed before. They could have shown a scene of Carmen before or after Julia receiving the flowers to have a confirmation.

Some people might argue that they made Carulia that subtle to have casual representation for children in a way some parents won't complain. But you can make something less subtle but still discreet. Like Carmivy! Ivy clearly had a crush on Carmen, which Carmen seemed to reciprocate sometimes. Yes, Carmen's a flirt, but the way she looked at Ivy sometimes and smiled it was something else.

I think that what Carulia needed (besides romantic chemestry and more time to build better their relationship) is a huge moment in an episode that deepens the way they feel about one another. Like The Stockholm Syndrome Caper when Carmen is with her head on Ivy's lap, or the entirety of the chocolate factory girl's trip. Or something like the entirety of The Crackle Goes Kiwi Caper and the episode Carmen tries to rescue Gray from jail and V.I.L.E. takes him. And of course The Opera in the Outback Caper, serving both Red Crackle and Carmivy goodness. Carulia needed its own episode. When I think about The Crackle Goes Kiwi Caper my first thought it's "That's a Red Crackle episode". The same thing with Carmivy in the chocolate factory girls trip. Carulia tried to have an episode, that's when Carmen rescues her from Countess Cleo but the problem is:

1-It was the last ship episode. So they give us Carulia when we already had Red Crackle and Carmivy, who were already established first and had more developing. And it was also one of the very few last episodes of the last season of the show so we don't see how Carulia goes from there because it doesn't have the time with such a rushed finale.

2-They didn't have "THE MOMENT". Red Crackle has "hang on tight, don't let go". Carmivy has "by Carmen Sandiego, who else?". And Carulia...?

3-They didn't have a date. Red Crackle had a café date, Carmivy had a fountain date(yes they were dates because I said so lol) and Carulia...?

I wonder how Carulia manages to, out of these three, be the ship with the least number of interactions and still feel like the most forgettable ship to me. I love both characters and their friendship but in a romantic scenario, I just don't see Carmen and Julia working. Carmen, to me seems like that kind of person that needs someone badass, who can keep up with her like Gray and Ivy, not a "cutie cutie lil bean wholesome smol uwu pie" like Julia. She may act as a badass sometimes but she's not a badass overall. Julia just seems like she would be that awkward flustered blushing mess when in love and for me, Carmen would go for someone who can be more comfortable around her, like we see she is definitely the case with Gray and Ivy.

For me, it's kinda like Carmen is Anthony Bridgerton, Julia is Edwina Sheffield/Sharma and Gray and Ivy would be Kate Sheffield/Sharma. Carmen might like Julia, but she still feels boring to Carmen.

Besides, Gray and Ivy also know Carmen for more time than Julia, what makes Carulia look, in my vision, superficial, shallow, artificial and forced. Gray, along with Shadowsan and Player, is the only person Carmen has since her past as Black Sheep and Ivy, along with Zack, were there at the very beginning of Carmen becoming The Carmen Sandiego. Compared to that, what does Julia know about Carmen? Romance requires a deeper connection, a bond Carmen clearly has with Gray and Ivy, that know her better and for a longer time. Compared to that, Julia barely knows a thing Carmen. Between a person you still have to build a bond with and one you already have that kind of bond with, it's a no-brainer who the best choice is. Really, I can't think of something Carmen and Julia have in common that has nothing to do with history. For a relationship to work you don't need to have everything in common, but you do need more than that. Just history isn't enough. And I can say that because my favorite subject in school is history(alongside with geography, english, philosophy and sociology)(I am a languages/humanities kind of person, fuck math and sciences). History may be enough for a friendship but not a romantic relationship. Besides, history and geography are things Carmen and Player bond more about and in a better way so having Carulia bond over the same thing just seems like it's nothing special and passes the idea that Carmen can bond with anyone as long as they like history and geography, that are intrinsically linked subjects, making Carulia feel, for me, even more basic than it already is. Not all ships need a complex storyline but it does add to it. Because Carmen and Ivy have that "strangers to teammates to friends to lovers" that has a lot of potential to it like one of them being in denial about having a crush on the other, fear that the other doesn't feel the same, fear of ruining their friendship, flirting accidentally, doing capers together with Zack making fun of them, having to put their feelings aside for the sake of the mission, Carmen can't truly open up about her feelings showing vulnerability, jealousy, etc.

And Red Crackle has that "acquaintances to class/roommates to friends to best friends to consideration siblings to enemies to strangers to friends to lovers to enemies to partners in crime to casually making out/hooking up without commitment during six months to enemies to strangers" vibe. The six months thing it's a headcanon but the way it's shown Carmen and Gray work so well together and how it is implied they made a lot of missions as a duo, without the others from their class, just makes me dream, and no one can stop me. Red Crackle are "opposite sides of the same coin". And they'll end up as lovers again because I see Red Crackle as a "right person, wrong timing" situation. They are meant to be and they will be one day, even if it takes a lot of time. They just have too much chemestry, angsty potential and drama material to count and that's exactly what I like. The possibilities are infinite and that just makes their storyline so interesting and I love that for them. So for me, it just felt like Carulia was kinda just there. Only existing.

(That was too long so I decided to divide it. Part 2 is coming soon)

[christinascloset]

Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: C.D. PETITES BLACK GRAY & WHITE LEOPARD ANIMAL PRINT SWEATER WITH RHINESTONES PM.

[cdgrayofficial]

Hey everyone,

I’m writing an article on Asexuality. If anyone has any questions on Asexuality they’d like answered let me know by putting them in the tags or by putting them in my asks.

[cevans-is-classic]

Moment Twenty

18+ only, please. No real warnings. There are curse words and a mention of sexual activity but otherwise, it's fluff.

This feels long overdue, but here you are my dears. If you want to feel the flow of it the way I did listen to Banana Pancakes by Jack Johnson.

Want to know where to begin? Moments with Sebastian

My other works are Here on My Masterlist

and plain old Seb is here.

The splatter of rain against the window woke him, his eyes opening, taking in the gray sky outside the window. He watched the rain hit the glass, racing raindrops, the curtain fluttering from the vents. Seb stretched out, arms popping, knees cracking as a calm settled in his chest. The faint smell of breakfast drew him from the bed.

Jedi watched him as he moved from the bedroom towards the kitchen, her tail whipping him when he steps close to the feline. Seb grins down at her, listening to you hum from the kitchen, the sound of rain working as background music.

“Morning.” He wrapped an arm around your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder to look down at the bowl of fruit.

“Did you finish the laundry?” You’d bitched about it all the way until he dragged you to bed, silencing you with a rather effective kiss and sleight of hand.

You hum, “I think Lumi did it when they got in last night.” finger curl around the knife, slicing an apple, letting the pieces fall into the bowl. “You’re warm.”

He waits, letting you rest your head against his for a breath. “How long have you been up?”

“Two hours. Wes woke me up after leaving. I figured I’d get some breakfast started — you hardly got any sleep last night.” He kisses your shoulder, letting his lips linger, feeling your arm move beneath him. There were pancakes set aside, stacked on a plate, and sitting on the stove. Your cutting board slid back into the toaster as you mixed the fruit in the bowl. He watched you, watched your fingers lift a strawberry towards him. He licked the sweetness off you as he swallowed the berry, hugging you tighter.

“It’s raining.”

You nod, “I noticed.”

He bites your shoulder, causing you to yelp and reach back to smack him. “You’re an ass.”

“Yeah.” Seb waggles his eyebrows at you. “But so far you’ve had no complaints.”

You glare, your lips tilting into a smile, “The moment I’m able I’ll file an official one.” You move to kiss his forehead, Seb closes his eyes until you pull back and smile back at you. “Want to start a movie? I’ll heat the pancakes.”

He nods, kissing your cheek and squeezing you once more before letting go and heading towards the living room. Your roommates mounted the television off-center to allow for the odd shape of the room, the shelves on either side of it stacked high with rows of movies, c.d., and records. Seb peruses through the different shelves, going back between the animated movies and a few comedies catching names of titles he can’t recall if he’s watched until he finds a nineties movie he knows both of you enjoy. By the time he turns around to sit down, you’ve settled two plates of pancakes and the bowl of fruit between two cups of coffee and some syrup.

“What’s the verdict?” You pop a blueberry and Seb chases the taste.

It feels wonderfully domestic — calming, even. Watching a movie, enjoying breakfast while it rains outside. A cocoon of warmth surrounds the two of you, blocking out the world. You tangle yourself in Seb’s arms as one movie becomes two and two movies becomes three; both of you lazily kissing, nuzzling into each other, and holding one another close, enjoying the feeling. He loves the way you nip at his nose, nudging your forehead against his until he shifts and rolls to let the both of you lay down on the couch, your head resting on his chest, his arm tucked against the cushion behind you.

He can grow used to this.

These hidden moments with you.

Your laughter is contagious, your smile breathtaking, the rain pelting down seeming to form a sort of shield around the apartment and the rest of New York. There could be more days like this, Seb thinks, kissing you again as you finish a string of commentary about the character on the screen. Seb could make lunch for you, kiss you good morning, settle down with you after long, hard days and wrap himself around you over and over. There can be more pancakes, more movies, more times where the only two people who matter are you and him.

When you drift off, head-heavy on his chest, fingers curled into his shirt, he looks down at you and sighs. It’s a Tuesday, it’s raining outside and Seb wants nothing more than for this day to end. He feels like a broken record — thinking of when he has to leave next when you’re busy next, whether the two of you will be in the same country, let alone the same state at the same time. It makes him tired. Drives him mad. Seb wouldn’t trade his job for any other in the world, but he wishes you’d both be able to see one another more often. With fewer people around. More time that isn’t interrupted.

“I can feel you thinking.” You muse.

He traces your wrist. “Can you, or are you staring at me?” Both of you look up and down, smile dressing your lips, and Seb pulls you into a kiss, wrapping his arms around you to hold you as close as he can.

“Feels nice to have nothing to do — for once.” You breathe into his neck.

He huffs out a laugh, running a nail over the tattoo on your hip, “I’m all for becoming a hermit.”

“You’d grow bored ten minutes in. I’d be halfway to the bathroom, and you’d be on the phone with your agent.” The bark of laughter draws him forward, your own laugh being snuffed out by his chest as you press your face into his shirt.

“You’re not any better.” He reaches out for a slice of apple. “You had three where you had nothing to do a week ago and ended up spending the entire time at Serra’s office running shoot ideas.” You rolled your eyes towards the ceiling, stealing the apple slice from him. He was right, and you knew it. Seb had called a little after lunch to see if you’d like to get something to eat and had been told in a dazed voice that you were busy.

“That was important.” Another apple slice swiped from his hand. He looked at you, your teeth sinking into the fruit before he leaned forward and bit the other end. Your eyes widened comically head shaking to pull back from him taking your half the apple as he caught his.

“Animal.” You gasp.

Seb grins, “Stop stealing my fruit.”

“Stop having fruit to steal.” Your leg kicks out when he digs his fingers into your hips, back-arching, left knee connecting with his out with a crack.

“Thief.” He accuses, digging in harder until you squeal, squirming beneath him, knocking the table with your right leg, and jostling the remotes until they hit the floor. The sound caused both of you to pause, look down at the plastic objects, then back at each other to proceed forward in the tickle onslaught.

You’d pulled yourself onto the arm of the couch and dropped backward off it, Seb reaching for you out of shock, shaken from the moment when you jumped up and dash towards the bedroom sock feet sliding you across the floor, “You can’t hide!” He chased after you, stumbling at first and hearing your cackle of laughter. His face hurts from smiling, his heart full of happiness.

He can’t believe it’s a Tuesday, and he has all the time in the world to be with you.

I want to thank everyone for being patient. I am nowhere near done with Moments I just haven't had a lot of inspiration in the Sebastian area recently. Once I get caught up on my current WIP I will be opening my requests once more!

@moonlacebeam @bucky-soldat

[hxlyhead-harpies]

Eventuality (C.D.)

Requested: Yes

Pairing: Cedric Diggory x Reader

Summary: The reader pretends she doesn’t care that her best friend has moved on

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1.6k

A/n: this gif of cedric tho.... i fell in love

You watched as he broke the surface, gasping for air and pulling her along with him. The crowd roared as he was pulled from the water with his hand wrapped around her waist. He pumped his fist in the air in victory, him having been the first out of the lake. She threw her arms around his neck in celebration and you pretended that it didn’t sting. You looked away with your arms crossed, not being able to bear the sight before you. 

Cedric and you had a complicated past. You had been friends, though that was hardly the proper word to describe it, at some point. But as of late you were strangers. The friendship had always been dysfunctional as you were in a different house, but it had always been special. Slytherin and Hufflepuff friendships were always unique but steadfast as both houses highly regarded loyalty. The difference between your houses had always been apparent in your relationship with Cedric but it was valued. You taught a young and shy Cedric how to stand up for himself and he reminded you that you were not like your parents and that you could choose your own path. 

There had always been an underlying tension in the friendship. Lingering stares and hugs that lasted too long indicated that there may have been something more to it. You had always assumed that you and Cedric would be an eventuality, that someday you would finally make your way to each other. But the beginning of sixth year had proven you wrong. 

Cedric had boarded the train with a lovestruck look in his eyes and began telling you stories of Cho Chang. The whole ride to Hogwarts he described her long, shiny hair and her beautiful amber-brown eyes. He spoke of her intelligence and wit, describing her grace and humor. You sat through it all in pain, a fake smile plastered across your face. You tried not to cry when he told you that he planned on asking her to Hogsmeade and you tried to act happy for him. 

Your friendship had become strained in the following weeks. He spent every waking moment with Cho and you pulled away, not being able to bear watching the boy you loved chase someone else. The final nail in the coffin was when he told you that he was entering his name in the goblet. 

“You can’t honestly be serious,” you had practically shrieked. Cedric furrowed his eyebrows.

“What? Do you not think I can handle it?” he asked, anger seeping into his voice.

“No, it’s not that! It’s dangerous you idiot, you could die,” you responded. Cedric scoffed.

“It’s not that serious, I probably won’t get chosen anyway,” he said, crossing his arms angrily. 

“It is that serious you git! Did you not hear Dumbledore,” you replied, “And of course you’ll get picked. It couldn’t be anyone else.” Cedric had rolled his eyes.

“I think you’re overreacting,” he said, his voice venomous. You huffed and stepped forward, pressing your finger to his chest.

“You do not get to tell me when I am overreacting,” you growled, “And I am just trying to tell you that-”

“You don’t get to try and tell me what to do! Not after avoiding me!” he had shouted back. You looked away and bite the inside of your cheek, trying to hold back your anger. 

“I haven’t been avoiding you, you’ve just been busy running around with your little girlfriend,” you spat out. It was a lie, you had been avoiding him. But you wanted to say something that might urge him to apologize. You had no such luck. 

“Don’t talk about her like that,” Cedric said, narrowing his eyes. You shook your head and looked away. 

“Whatever Cedric,” you said. His eyes widened and he stepped back. You hadn’t called him by his full name in years. You had a vast array of silly nicknames you used instead, and it was a low blow to use his given name. 

“Whatever,” he said before shaking his head and storming off. 

The two of you hadn’t spoken since then, only glaring at each other in the halls. You truly and deeply missed him but he seemed fine without you. He was doing well in the challenges, he and Cho seemed to be attached at the hip, and you had watched him smile and laugh at the Yule Ball. It was obvious that he had never needed you in the way that you needed him.

Once all the other champions came out of the water everyone began to vacate the stands. A crowd formed around Cedric and he was smiling wide, basking in the attention. You rolled your eyes, remembering all the days you had teased him for being an attention hog. Cedric thrived on validation and you assumed that his ego was receiving a hefty boost. Cedric turned and his eyes snapped to yours for a quick moment. He seemed to have frozen in place, his mouth hanging open slightly. You couldn’t bear to look away, your heart still yearning for him. Someone grabbed his shoulder to congratulate him and he tore his eyes away. You sighed and began your trek back to the castle. 

You were in the library later that day, avoiding the sounds of celebration coming from the Great Hall. All anyone could talk about was Cedric and you didn’t think that your heart could handle it. You were reading when you sensed someone watching you. You turned around quickly to see Cedric idling by a bookshelf, seemingly debating whether or not to talk to you. When he noticed that you saw him he sent you a brilliant smile that made your heart clench. But you knew him too well and you could sense his lack of confidence. 

“Hey,” he said softly. You gave him a curt nod before turning back to your book. “I saw you by the lake today,” he said, looking down at his hands. 

“Yes, Fleur and I have developed a nice friendship and I went to support her,” you explained stiffly. It was true, you and Fleur were close, but you truly went to make sure that Cedric would be okay. But you’d never let him know that. He blinked in surprise. 

“Oh. I just thought- never mind,” he said, looking away. You snapped your book closed and looked up. 

“Thought what?” you asked sharply. Cedric rubbed the back of his neck. 

“I thought that you might have come to watch me,” he admitted sheepishly. You scoffed and crossed your arms.

“You thought that I was watching you? Don’t flatter yourself…” You said. Once again it was a lie, but you desperately felt as if you needed to shield yourself from the boy in front of you. Cedric frowned and looked away. He stood up and rapped his knuckles against the table.

“Well um… Sorry to bother you then,” he said. He turned to walk away. He lingered for a moment by the shelves. “What happened to us?” he asked softly, not turning back to look at you. You sniffled and looked down, fiddling with the pages of your book. 

“I thought that we were something that we weren’t,” you said softly. Cedric slowly rotated so that he was facing you. 

“What?” he breathed out softly. You sighed and avoided his gaze. 

“I thought… I thought that we might have been more than friends. But I was clearly wrong and I let it ruin everything,” you answered. Cedric’s face seemed to break and he ran a hasty hand over it. 

“It wasn’t your fault,” he said softly after a moment of silence, “I thought my feelings were one-sided so I tried to move on.” His confession hung in the air as you tried to process what he said. “I thought that you could never love me back so I chased Cho instead,” he said. You furrowed your eyebrows.

“But you like her. You pulled her out of the lake today,” you pointed out, unable to believe him. He sighed. 

“It’s not like that. She and I are friends. And after you stopped talking to me, she’s pretty much the only real friend I have. She’s important to me, but not in that way,” he explained. 

“But she’s so perfect! How could you not like her?” you exclaimed, “She’s smart and she’s so gorgeous,” you said. Cedric took a step closer. 

“But she’s not you. And you’re all those things too. You are so unbelievably smart, smarter than I’ll ever be and you’re beautiful you know that?” You just gaped at him. “Please believe me,” he pleaded, walking to stand directly next to your chair. You pushed out your seat suddenly and stood chest to chest with the boy. 

“I want to believe you,” you said softly, “But how can I know for sure?” Cedric rested his forehead against yours and cupped your cheek. 

“Let me prove it,” he murmured. You nodded softly, staring into his beautiful gray eyes. Slowly, he leaned forward, brushing his lips against yours. He tilted back, a question in his eyes asking if it was okay. You grabbed his collar and pulled him back down towards you, years of pent up longing finally surfacing. The kiss was sweet and tender, his love shining through. You wished that you hadn’t spent months apart and that you had been able to tell him how you felt earlier. But it turned out that you had been right all along; no matter what separate roads you and Cedric traveled down, you’d always find each other eventually.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[carmenxjulia]

okay we've seen Julia's opinion of carmen but what about the other way around? what do you think carmen's opnion of our fav agent is?

Hang on to your hoodie!

First off, a lot of her trust in Julia comes from gut instinct, the same way Julia’s trust in Carmen does. Neither of them have good reason to trust the other (moreso Carmen), but they do anyway.

To start off, it seems like Carmen wasn’t fully aware who she was sitting with on the train to India. Only when Julia mentioned she was waiting for her partner and Carmen noticed the C.D. initials on the suitcase next to her did Carmen put the pieces together.

The fact that Julia didn’t recognize Carmen despite having been on her trail with Chase is very interesting. I suppose Julia had never seen her up close, and she wasn’t wearing her signature red hat and coat. And Julia was completely smitten by a cute girl sitting across from her.

I think that really, Carmen just needed an “in” to show she was one of the good guys. Chase, blinded by his sole objective of catching Carmen Sandiego, would never have allowed her that. But her getting to sit down with Julia and them getting to talk like normal people and discuss Julia’s interests opened up that door.

Carmen played to Julia’s inexperience. Julia’s first instinct upon figuring out she’d been talking to Carmen Sandiego was to call Chase, not pursue her. Honestly, Julia was probably really confused by the fact that this supposed very wanted and dangerous criminal just sat down with her and was completely non-threatening. Without her red hat and coat, she was able to seamlessly blend in with regular people, which explained how she was able to travel around the world without being noticed (unless she wanted to be).

Julia not pursuing Carmen and not getting in her way and not putting herself in danger trying to stop Carmen (yeah, I’m throwing some shade at Chase here) allowed Carmen the opportunity to leave Julia the Magna Carta as a show of good will. As a sign to the other side that they were on the same side. Most other Interpol (or A.C.M.E.) agents would have gone after Carmen immediately, but Julia, as of season 1 episode 1, had only been on the force for two weeks. As an unseasoned operative working under a supervisor, she hesitated. Because she’s new, she’s more willing to trust her gut instincts instead of relying solely on years of experience. Her reluctance was just what Carmen needed.

I’m going to delve more into Julia for a minute here, bear with me.

Julia defends Carmen in season 2, from the first moment we see her, literally asking Devineux to wake up because, "we need you to tell us that she did not do this to you." Okay, first off, there is no “we.” A.C.M.E. is completely and 100% willing to believe that Carmen was involved with the kidnapping because she’s involved with V.I.L.E. (from their point of view). Chief saw her at the scene of the crime, and Devineaux confirmed her involvement when he woke up. That was all they need to know.

But, from that point on, we repeatedly see Julia defending Carmen and insisting she’s on their side. She never backs down, in spite of what anyone else says or believes. She knows she’s right.

That is important because Carmen has no idea Julia has been defending her behind her back. She has no idea Julia believes she’s a good guy and that Julia is fighting so hard to prove her innocence. It’s great that the audience gets to see Julia sticking to her guns and believing in herself and Carmen, but Carmen herself sees none of that directly.

I think that when Carmen ran into Julia again in Milan, she read her body language and could tell how nervous she was. The hand not holding the gun was balled into a fist, tight, not relaxed. She spoke with confidence, yes, but her gun was so close Carmen reached out and grabbed it. Rookie mistake.

Julia didn’t even put up any kind of fight or try to grab the gun back when Carmen took it. Sure, some of that was probably shock at how easily she’d been disarmed, but a more seasoned agent might have made a move. Carmen could have easily knocked her out, the same as Agent Zari, but she didn’t.

Carmen put a lot on the line by trusting Julia. She gave her the gun back and trusted Julia not to turn around and double-cross her by using it. Like, she just decided she likes Julia I guess and enlisted her help on the spot. Maybe it’s because Julia is less of a shoot first, ask questions later type of person, unlike the other agents.

I’m sure Julia, caught completely off-guard by Carmen not sleep gassing her and then asking her for her help, went along with the plan because she literally didn’t know what else to do. She already believes Carmen is a good guy. If A.C.M.E. had captured her that night, she would have interrogated her in a way that would have hopefully proven her theory.

But then Carmen comes along and is just like, ‘yeah we’re saving the Medici dresses tonight’ which is kind of proof in itself.

Julia was outnumbered 3 to 1 with Carmen’s team. Carmen, in an effort to show that she was willing to work with the good guys and the agents of the law, put Julia in charge of getting the dresses to safety. She could have put any member of her own team as the head of the job, or could have given her team a few quick orders before having to fight the models. But she put Julia in charge, on purpose, to show and prove they were on the same team. Even Julia was surprised, considering the initial strategy to pretend to be models and save the dresses had been Carmen’s plan. Again, Carmen puts her trust in Julia, because she knows that she’s smart and intuitive and she knows Julia is out to do the right thing. She knows Julia wants to do right by everyone, including herself.

We really do know a lot about how Julia feels, and a lot less about how Carmen feels, don’t we? I keep side-tracking to Julia’s feelings and I realize we don’t really know Carmen’s motives for trusting her after their meeting on the train.

Maybe Carmen wanted a second opportunity to prove herself (in Milan), and she knew Julia had gotten the Magna Carta’s because they’d been returned to the museum afterwards. So she knew she already had an in with the agent, even if Julia was still working for an organization that considered itself Carmen’s enemy.

The fact that Carmen sought her out in Sweden right after Julia broke off from the others further solidifies the fact that she wholly trusts Julia, and only Julia. They’re really BOTH banking on the other not hurting or capturing them, which is pretty risky for either of them. When all others consider Carmen a thief and a threat, Julia agreed to meet with her privately. That took serious guts considering people like Chase have been after Carmen for a year.

Carmen seriously just waltzes right up to Julia and taps her on the shoulder as soon as Julia is alone. She knows A.C.M.E. are the good guys and that they’re trying to protect the same artistic and historical items she is. She also knows they are not aware of V.I.L.E’s other, ahem, vile operations to hurt innocent people. So she draws on her connection to A.C.M.E., Julia, to get her message to them. Twice, she has worked with Julia to help return items of historic value. And twice, Julia has come through for her. And now Julia is willing to just go off with her, alone. Carmen assumes they’re being tracked, but, that’s not even the case. Julia just trusts her that much.

Season 2 leaves us with a lot of juicy stuff to consider with these two. Carmen put an IMMENSE amount of trust in Julia, and they even worked on a caper together. And now, it looks as though Julia double-crossed her to help A.C.M.E. capture her. I think that’s really going to shake Carmen and make her realize that maybe she didn’t know Julia as well as she thought. But, as pointed out above, Julia has literally always been in her corner and rooting for her cause. But Carmen’s not a dummy. Her trust in Julia may be shaken, but I bet she’ll seek out the truth and confront Julia herself about the incident.

On the other hand, Julia put trust in A.C.M.E. to let her have time with Carmen, and they betrayed her. Not only that, but finding out about Chief’s past and the lengths A.C.M.E. is willing to go to accomplish their goals is probably going to make Julia reconsider her current job. If Chief becomes hellbent on defeating Carmen Sandiego at any cost, Julia is probably not going to be down for that. Maybe Julia will be the one to seek Carmen out and apologize for Sweden, even if literally none of what happened is her fault.

All in all, I think Carmen sees that Julia just wants to do the right thing and wants to make the world a better place. Her top priority is not necessarily capturing evildoers, but just making sure the world is safe and that injustices are righted. Julia is not all about the chase or bringing in the bad guy. She is an intuitive woman who is willing to examine the motives and actions of others before jumping to conclusions about them being a good or bad person. I think she and Carmen think in similar ways in that regard. They see the world in shades of gray, and recognize that villains may not always look like villains, nor heroes like heroes.

[guccifloralsuits]

hi we were talking about books yesterday and i was wondering if you have any good fiction recommendations? 😇😇😇

Yes, I have so many! I broke them down into relative categories, so there’s a little mix of everything. Please read the actual synopsis before diving in though, as some have major trigger warnings.

Books considered “classics”

Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston: a book which I come back to in hard times of my life. There’s something so…necessary about this story. Prose style was great. I would rec this book to every person I know.

Mrs. Dalloway by Virgina Woolf: I read this when my life seemed to be changing faster than I could keep up. Beautifully written. Came at a time when I needed it.

Wide Sargasso Sea by Jean Rhys: written as a prequel to Jane Eyre and a modernist masterpiece honestly. THE original meditation on the ideal of a Manic Pixie Dream Girl

The Color Purple by Alice Walker: you’ve probably heard this name from the adaptation. Let me tell you. This book deserves all of its acclaim. I think I’m gonna re-read soon.

Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austin: this is super mainstream for The Literary Circles but it’s for good reason, this book is just? Fun? An honestly enjoyable read? plus when I was taking my SATs way back when they had an essay section, I could use this book for literally any prompt they gave

Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë: this book is wild. Everyone is a messy bitch who lives for drama & I love it. I just finished it and omg

The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath: my emo teen- girl rebelling ass ate this shit up back in high school. Is this book overrated? I don’t care. I love it for nostalgic value anyways

The Handmaids Tale by Margaret Atwood: startling beautiful lines. I have almost half this book underlined. A popular read in recent times, with good reason.

A picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde: I fundamentally disagree with everything written in this book. That is exactly the point. About being gay & sinning. I would not recommend this as a ‘light’ read though. Easy to get swept up in Wilde’s sharp wit & not catch the intentional malice behind what he says, underneath.

One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez: I just. Love this. That’s all I have to say. Yeah.gif

All The King’s Men by Robert Penn Warren: The nihilism of Oscar Wilde but set to a political backdrop in the 30’s with stylistic prose akin what you’d read from Hemingway. Probably not for everyone’s taste. But right up my alley in terms of political intrigue. If ur a stuffy English Major with who likes books about corruption, you’ll like this.

Popularized books that are worth the hype they had:

The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls: there’s something so…engaging about the way this is written. It’s pretty much about kids who have to act like adults for their shitty parents. I couldn’t put this down though.

Dark Places by Gillian Flynn: as with all her novels, this gets dark. This gets ugly. An absolute thriller, & I can’t recommend her books enough. (You might know her from Gone Girl & Sharp Objects. This story follows similar tone). Honestly I rec anything by Flynn.

The Princess Bride by William Goldman: you’ve probably heard of or seen this movie. Well guess what? the book is even better.

YOU by Caroline Kepnes: aka the adapted Netflix series where dan from gossip girl plays plays joe, who is basically Dan but Unhinged. But like, the books are great. “Hidden Bodies” which is the sequel to this is even better, in my opinion. Just plz don’t romance Joe cus you saw penn badgley in a Netflix poster & were thirsty 4 him

Lesser Known/underrated books which could use your love:

A Thousand Acres by Jane Smiley: A reimagining of King Lear, set on an Iowa farm in the late 1970s. Powerful and disturbing

The Gold Bug Variations by Richard Powers: specifically for classical music lovers. Basically a long meditation on supernal mysteries of music, specifically Bach’s intricate Goldberg Variations (you’ll wanna have the Glenn Gould recording to hand), & those of the DNA molecule (especially as a code to be broken) It gradually dawns on you that the two couples listening to the music and studying the molecule are themselves engaged in something strangely molecular and musical. You won’t always understand this book, but it keeps taking your breath away.

Ella Minnow Pea by Mark Dunn: did I buy this book solely because of this tumblr post? Yeah. But it was easily one of the best decisions I’ve made. The way he manipulates letter-language is wild. Woah. Highly recommended.

The 100 Year Old Man Who Climbed Out of the Window & Disappeared by Jonas Johnson: a 100 year old dude escapes his nursery home a steals a suitcase full of drug money then goes on a giant crime spree. HIGHLY entertaining. We stan a King

The Sellout by Paul Beatty: probably the greatest satirical comedy written within the last 50 years. I said what I said.

Children’s/teen/YA books you should absolutely read

The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster: wonderfully creative, beautifully told. Takes abstract constructs and turns them into concrete beings and landscapes in amazing, engaging ways. Please read this. One of my all-time favorite books. Takes the protagonist, Milo, on a fantastical adventure borne through boredom on what he though would be another average day. Seriously. I love this book. So much.

Coraline by Neil Gaiman: another beautifully creative foray into a parallel universe where something Not Quite Right lurks beneath a pretty surface. If you’ve seen the movie adaption - great. Still read the book. It’s absolutely worth it.

Love that Dog by Sharon Creech: technically free verse poetry from the perspective of a young boy dealing with the loss of his pet dog who has to write poetry for a class assignment from his teacher. This is…so good. Oh my god. Oh my god? Poetry for non-poetry people.

The Giver by Louis Lowery: Listen. I know you were forced 2 read this in primary English. I know you probably hated it on principle. But this shit was all that kept me going, when I was younger. It made me feel so understood, before I could define trauma or the meaning of depression. This book made me feel seen.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky: ya know what? Fuck 2013 tumblr for dumbing this book down into a basic ass Grunge Anthem. I have never seen a book so adequately grapple with how awful romanticizing trauma can be. This book goes into the horrible side of adolescence in a way that’s genuine, and in a way which doesn’t put trauma/mental illness on a pedestal. I needed that shit, when I read it. I still love this book today. The lines will stay with you forever, after you read some of them.

All the Bright Places, by Jennifer Niven: this was another one of those books that I read in an essential time, which lodged into me afterwards. About two teenagers who meet while standing on the bell tower of their school, both contemplating suicide. Highly recommend. Prepare to cry.

You didn’t ask for Poetry but I’m including some because I am poetry TRASH:

Rice by Nikky Finney

A Thousand Mornings by Mary Oliver

One Big Self by C.D. Wright

LOOK by Solmaz Sharif

Poetry for people who think poetry is inaccessible to them:

New American Best Friend by Olivia Gatwood

Our Numbered Days by Neil Hillborn

Depression & Other Magic Tricks by Sabrina Benaim

There are literally SO SO SO many books I could also add, but these are the ones that came to mind. Bolded ones are those I especially love. Happy reading!

[namachuki]

40

OKAY SO IVE BEEN WORKING ON THIS SPECIFIC DRAWING FOR 3 DAYS SKKDJDJA It was inspired by another artist who also drew C.D. In this pose and diamond aesthetic however their drawing was in gray scale and their version on him was more stylistic if I can find the artist again I'll try and link them but aghhhh this is Page 40

[lovemesomesurveys]

GUYS. I got the xkit extension for Chrome (you can get it for firefox, too) and it gave me the option to go back to the old dashboard, which I didn’t have before for whatever reason. All is well again. I was going nuts with the new update!

Would you ever chew gum after someone else already has? Uh, HELLLL no.

What word describes your relationship status? Single.

Do you have a dog? Yep, I have my 3 year old German Shepherd/Lab mix named Princess Leia. <3

Are you a heartbreaker or the broken heart? The brokenhearted. 

Earrings or a necklace? Earrings.

Who have you talked to most today? So far just my brother. It’s after 330 in the morning, the rest of my family is asleep.

Friend of the opposite gender that lives closest to you?

Color of your shirt? Gray.

What are the languages that you know? I only speak English fluently, but I know some Spanish.

What is your background on your main computer screen? Alexander Skarsgard. Duhhh.

Have you ever wished on 11:11? When I was younger.

Have you ever gone camping? Nope. I have zero interest in going camping.

Are you a bad influence? No one should look up to me.

What color are your eyes? Brown.

Would you rather have your name or a celeb’s name? I’ll keep my name. 

Would you do anything for someone? I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that. Ha. I’ve always wondered what “that” is. 

Have you ever been cussed out? No.

What’s your favorite color? Pastels, rose gold, coral, mint green, and yellow.

Do you use smiley faces on aim or another instant messenger? I don’t use any instant messengers.

What song is on? I’m not listening to music.

Do you have good grades? I’m done with school.

When was the last time that you went out to lunch? It’s been a longggg time. I honestly don’t remember. 

Do you watch the Gilmore Girls? Every now and then. It’s been awhile since I last watched it.

Have you ever listened to the Goo Goo Dolls? Yes, I like a few of their songs. Have you ever watched the O.C.? Yeah, I watched it during its original run.

Do you own any Britney Spears c.d’s? Nope. I don’t own any CDs anymore. I remember having her first CD when I was a kid, though.

What radio stations do you like? It’s been like 2-3 years since I’ve listened to the radio.

Have you ever watched Lost? Nope.

Do you have pictures of your exes? Yeah, they’re still floating around somewhere.

Do you have Ozzy Osbourne on your mp3 player? I don’t have an mp3 player, I just use Spotify on my phone. Anyway, I was going to say no to this but then I remembered I have the song he did with Post Malone. 

Do you watch Family Guy? I’ll catch bits and pieces here and there in passing cause my family watches it.

Do you read romance novels? Yeah. I’ve been reading a lot of psychological thriller and murder mystery lately, though.

Do you sing obnoxiously in the car? Sometimes.

Did you draw pictures for your crushes in preschool? No. I don’t recall even having crushes in preschool.

Have you ever not asked someone out cause you were scared of rejection? Yeppp. Have you ever written a story or poem about your life? Poems, yeah.

Have you ever spent over an hour consecutively thinking about a crush? When I was younger.

Have you ever liked someone just because of their appearance? My little crushes on guys at school that I didn’t know but thought were really cute.

Do you eat every serving of the food group on a daily basis? Nope. Not even close.

Are you a freak about cleanliness or organization? I used to be.

Have you ever been to South America or Africa? No.

Do you know how to knit? Nope.

Do you have a cell phone or iPod cover from Louis Vuitton? Nope.

Have you ever written lyrics to a song and then played it on a guitar? No. I’ve never written lyrics and I can’t play the guitar.

Do you keep an online diary or journal? This is it.

What color is the interior of your closet? White.

Baskin Robbins or Ben & Jerry’s? Whichever. I’m not a big ice cream eater. It’s been a few years since I’ve had any, actually. Physics or chemistry? Neither.

Earphones or headphones? Earphones.

Pink or green? Both.

A bracelet or a ring? Both.

Commitment or casual dating? Commitment. 

Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter? Harry Potter.

By airplane or bus? Airplane.

Do you like Starbucks? Yes.

What is your favorite Disney classic? Alice in Wonderland and Winnie the Pooh are at the top of my list.

[livelongdolan]

In the Blink of An Eye (C.D.)

Summary: " A fuzzy gray screen showed no sign of life, even though previous check ups had shown differently. Mom hadn't told anyone but her close friends and they mourned together but encouraged her to try again. Now all we had was an empty room with half painted walls and two cribs."

WRITTEN FROM CAMERON DOLAN'S POV

Word Count: 1.4k

Warnings: miscarriage, angst

A/N: I wrote this when I very first started writing fics but never posted it, so here it is. I am not saying any of this is real, it does not reflect anyone in the Dolan family it is simply for entertainment purposes.

      It was an extremely cold winter, starkly contrasting with the previous summer. The small flakes of snow were falling rapidly on the pavement, building up several inches before being swept away by the shovel in the man's calloused hands. I sat at my windowsill, admiring the way the children played around with the snow. I wondered how they could get joy from something so simple. I moved away from the window and walked out of my room and into the room next to mine.

It was supposed to be theirs.

A few months ago my mom had received news that she was pregnant with twins. Tears of happiness filled her eyes and my dad beamed. My parents were finally going to have the twins they always wanted. They were bo- supposed to be, boys. Their names would be Grayson and Ethan. It was 5 months into her pregnancy and she went to the doctor for a regular check up. A fuzzy gray screen showed no sign of life, even though previous check ups had shown differently. Mom hadn't told anyone but her close friends and they mourned together but encouraged her to try again. Now all we had was an empty room with half painted walls and two cribs. Although it had been almost 4 months, my mom still hadn't gotten over it and neither had I. I still dreamed of them, imagining their tiny feet running down the carpeted stairs and the drawers of clothes not quite big enough to fit on my arm.

     Yes, it had been four months but it was the hardest months of my- all of our lives. Days went by and soon the holidays were near. Holidays passed with nothing but a thought of the unborn boys in our heads, trying to stifle the sadness with laughter and the unwrapping of gifts. Some books, CDs, everything a teenage girl could ask for, I had received for Christmas. But it just wasn't enough. Although they had never been in my life I wanted them here to share the joy. I wanted the sound of rowdy boys running through the house to fill my ears instead of the silence of my parents. But I would never get that.

    A few months later, things had died down. The cribs were removed from the room and it was now filled with a desk and a bookshelf, along with anything else that would make us forget what the room was originally intended for. Thoughts of the boys left from heads and new memories were made. One night after a particularly long day for both Mom and Dad, they retreated to their room after dinner and I heard the heated discussion from two doors down.

    "I think we should try again. Just because it ended up being something bad doesn't mean we can't try to make it right" My dad's voice, calmly bargaining with Mom.

    "There is no way that I can go through that again. I don't want the pain on me, you, or Cam. Have you seen the way she has handled this? She may be acting happy but she definitely isn't. Ever since the miscarriage happened she has talked less and less and stopped doing her school work. If I can clearly see that it isn't going well for her, how do you think it is gonna go for me? I'm not trying this again Sean and you should have known that before you started this conversation." Her voice was angry and harsh, each syllable tearing from her throat.

    "Really? You think Cam is doing bad? She is a teenager, sure she was sad for a while but it's not anything that affects her. If anything she should be relieved that she doesn't have two rambunctious brothers running around bothering her." He sounds annoyed. Quieter words are spoken and I press my ear against the wall harder in order to hear.

    "Maybe if you were actually around and cared enough to pay attention to her, you would know how she feels and how I feel. Don't go around thinking you are some macho guy that doesn't feel anything because I know for a fact you were affected by it too. I'm not doing it. End of story." Her quiet voice made the words hit harder. After a few moments, silence. The argument was done. I went back to my bed and went under the covers, pretending to be asleep as I heard my father's heavy footsteps walk down the stairs presumably carrying things to sleep on the couch and his phone in hand so that he had time to wake up before me. Whenever these things happened, my parents tried to keep it a secret from me. They didn't want me to be the child from a broken home. They wanted me to have a perfect life. Little did they know, it was slowly falling apart.

TWO YEARS LATER

    Things had gotten better, I had almost forgotten about the twins. Mom had finally given in to Dad's requests to try again and I heard a loud noise from their bedroom. I ran into their room to see what had happened. My mom was holding a pregnancy test showing a small circle with two pink lines standing tall next to each other, indicating she was pregnant. The tears came streaming from her eyes as she hugged Dad before noticing me coming into the room. She separated from him and held up the test. I smiled and hugged her tight.

    Month by month, check ups went by. Mom and Dad smiling bigger with every visit. Once again, two baby boys would soon be born. This time they would grow up healthy and happy. Hopefully. Now at the 8th month, the boys were sure to be born soon. Decorating of the room started up again, the items previously inside quickly removed. Two redwood cribs returned along with new things such as a dresser for the small clothes and a bin of toys. Things all come together to create a room that is perfect for the new arrivals.

A FEW WEEKS LATER      

    "SEAN! GET THE CAR STARTED! NOW!" I heard the scream from where I was making toast in the kitchen. It was 10:00 AM and I had woken up not even five minutes ago. My dad comes running down the stairs, a frantic look in his eyes.

    "Your mom's water broke, we are going to the hospital. Are you okay to drive yourself?" he asks, panting.

    "Yeah, yeah I will be fine." I finish making my toast as my mom waddles down the stairs and into the garage, not acknowledging my need for breakfast. I hear the garage door open and the sounds of a car starting, indicating their absence. I grabbed my keys from the hook by the door and headed out to my car, driving to the hospital. I walk into the lobby and talk to the middle aged woman behind the desk, asking what room she was in.

     "54." The syllables left her mouth in a scratchy tone. Her skin was marked in small dots and wrinkles. Stress had clearly aged her way past her years.

     "Thank you." Nothing but a curt nod let me know that she heard me. I walked away and towards the room, noises coming from the open door. I spoke to a doctor and was told to sit in the waiting room, that I would be called when the children were born.

    After almost six hours and many snacks being crunched down from the vending machine down the hall, the babies were finally born. Little did I know, it wasn't that simple. I was invited in as soon as the babies came out and they were carefully moved to two small beds. One baby was red and crying, irritated by the bright lights but the other was different. He wasn't moving and his body was pale. Voices were hurried as I was rushed out of the room along with my dad. All I heard were three words. No. Heartbeat. Detected. Dad and I watched as the nurses and doctors frantically rushed around, taking the healthy baby aside to help the other. Fifteen minutes has passed and the baby still had no heartbeat. The next five minutes were the most crucial. Things were hooked up to the small body until finally he took a breath of the ammonia scented air. Cries rang out through the room and Mom's face lit up with relief. Dad looked at me and smiled.

They were finally here.

[kandrsdarkangelsbookblog]

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[cdgrayofficial]

The Wish

So much work to do; haven't done any of it. Procrastinating is all I accomplish. Seems impossible, convince me to give a shit. Motivation served on a silver dish. These dreams, though unattainable, will be worth it. Strength and determination; my dreams; my greatest wish. Existential crisis and what I've been through. Despite all these struggles, how do I continue?

-C.D. Gray  ©  

[bewitchingbooktours]

Prophecy of Gods and Crows by C.D. Britt  #Fantasy #Dystopian #CelticMythology

Prophecy of Gods and Crows

Clan of Shadows Series

Book One

C.D. Britt

Genre: Fantasy/ Dystopian/ Celtic Mythology 

Publisher: C.D. Britt

Date of Publication: 06/06/2023

ISBN: 978-1-7372652-8-3

ASIN: B0BRDHTFZX

Number of pages: 362

Word Count: 98,220

Cover Artist: GermanCreative

Tagline: Bryndis Kenneally is an anomaly, which is saying something when you live in a place once called Hell.

Book Description:

Welcome to Ifreann.... once known as Hell's Gate.

Bryndis Kenneally is an anomaly, which is saying something when you live in a place once called Hell.

Despite being born into a family of healers, she is unable to follow in their footsteps since disturbing visions overwhelm her with almost every human touch.

With few allies at her back, she keeps her head down… until a freak sandstorm brings more than she bargained for—a man of shadows who seeks retribution, a crow that follows her everywhere, and two strangers who appear inside the locked gates of Ifreann.

Two strangers with a message for Bryndis and her friends.

But will these strangers be her end? Or will they be her salvation?

Either way, she knows one thing is for certain.

She can no longer pretend to be a normal woman among a town looking for witches to burn.

Book one in the Clan of Shadows series, a dystopian Celtic mythology paranormal (slow burn) romance series. It has elements of cli-fi and quiet a few morally gray characters.

TW: religious trauma, sexual content, abuse (past and present by family member), scenes of war

Book Trailer: 

https://www.tiktok.com/@cdbrittauthor/video/7226769276424703275 

Available at Amazon

https://amzn.to/3IdvI8U

Excerpt

Bryn swayed her body to the last of the music, the night ending slowly as people stumbled and laughed after having allowed themselves the pleasure of being human one night of the year.

Soon enough, only the light of the torches were left aside from the fires that burned only once a year along the street. The shadows took over the celebration as they danced along the buildings.

The feeling in her gut, the warning, grew at a rapid rate and she found herself standing and looking around.

“What’s wrong?” Niamh asked, standing as well, looking for a threat.

“I’m not sure. I’ve had this bad feeling…” Bryn whispered as her system flooded with adrenaline.

The warning horns split open the joyous atmosphere of the night like a knife. The screams of the people matching the horns as they ran from the streets to take cover from the unknown danger.

Bryn and Niamh both turned as one toward the gate as small dust devils made their way along the street, trailing the panicked townspeople as they ran, shoving at each other like wild, mindless animals.

“Sandstorm,” Niamh whispered, her eyes focused on something past the gates. Words in another language Bryn had never heard soon left Niamh’s lips.

In her own panicked state, Bryn tried to calm her nerves, debating on if she could make it back to her apartment or if she needed to take cover with Niamh. The fact that Niamh was in a trance, staring intensely at the gate, made her hand twitch with the urge to slap Niamh out of it.   “Sandstorm!” Justin yelled as he ran down the road toward them. “Get inside and take cover!”

They’d never had a sandstorm bad enough to cause such panic before. The walls usually took the brunt of the weather for them.

“Now!” Justin was suddenly in her face, shoving at her shoulder and pushing her and Niamh into The Sanctuary. A horrifying cloud of red dust enveloped the town right as Justin slammed the door shut behind them. The entire road engulfed in tornadic sand was the last visual she had of Saint’s road.

“Away from the windows!” He herded them to an inner room in The Sanctuary, yelling for the others in brothel to do the same. Bryn didn’t look to see what men from town were here.

She didn’t want that on her conscience and since she was a horrible poker player, she didn’t want to pretend in public when she watched them walking with their families to church service before she turned in for the day.

Settling down in one of the supply rooms, Bryn put her head to her knees, wrapping her arms around her legs. Focusing on her breathing and not the glass breaking, Bryn worked to calm her heart rate, trying to ignore the sobs of the other women in the dark room as the glass broke and the wind howled.

Finian whined, having moved back to Justin’s side.

The only light was from the cracked door Justin looked through, flinching every once in a while as he watched the storm bear down on their little town.

“Calm yourselves. Your yelling isn’t going to change the course of this storm,” Niamh chided, her voice barely audible over the furniture breaking outside of their little room. Bryn was surprised by the calmness in Niamh’s voice as her business was being torn apart. Her whole life was in The Sanctuary.

A tingling started in her fingers and toes, as well as the all too familiar feeling of ants under her skin. Bryn rubbed along her arms at the same time as Justin, their movements mirroring each other.

Looking to Niamh, her eyes focused on the wall as if she could see through it, as if her focus could stop the destruction, Bryn patted the woman on the shoulder before she pulled back.

Her skin was growing more sensitive and the anxiety building up inside her was becoming a raging inferno.

“I am here, come to me, my child,” Bryn heard the whispered words, and looked for who was speaking. No one else looked around for the voice, as if they hadn’t heard it.

Bryn was sure her heart stopped. Was this a vision? It didn’t feel like one.

When Justin looked at her, his eyes confused, she realized it wasn’t just her who had heard the whispered plea.

The distraction of Justin kept her from noticing one of the men in the room sitting too close to her, his fingers brushing hers and she knew before it happened she was going into a vision.

Feeling it come upon her, she scooted away from him, further into the corner of the room right as the black stole over her vision.

 About the Author:

C.D. Britt began her writing journey when her husband told her she needed to use her excessive imagination to write stories as opposed to creating a daily narrative for him. Ever since she penned her first words, life has been a lot more peaceful for him.

She currently resides in Texas where she has yet to adapt to the heat. Her husband thrives in it, so unfortunately, they will not be relocating to colder climates anytime soon.

Their two young children would honestly complain either way.

When she is not in her writing cave (hiding from the sun), she enjoys ignoring the world as much as her children will allow with a good book, music, and vast amounts of coffee (until it’s time for wine).

C.D. Britt is the author of the Reign of Goddesses series and Prophecy of Gods and Crows (coming 6/6/23).

Website: https://authorcdbritt.com/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/BrittAuthor

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/authorcdbritt

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/authorcdbritt/

Newsletter: https://www.subscribepage.com/authorcdbritt

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/stores/C.D.-Britt/author/B095PWMBYH

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/21592919.C_D_Britt

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[hxlyhead-harpies]

I Talk to the Sky (C.D.)

Pairing: Cedric Diggory x Reader

Summary: Everything reminds you of Cedric

Warnings: Angst, major character death, grief

Word Count: 1k

Based On: I Talk to the Sky by Maddy Estelle

At two in the morning, you are were incredibly grateful to Flitwick for teaching you a silencing charm. If it wasn’t for the quick Silencio and the flick of your wand, your roommates would have overheard your sobs and witnessed the mess that you truly were. You preferred it this way, you never wanted anyone to be burdened with the task of trying to save you from your own sorrow. You’d rather have a good cry in the middle of the night, before waking up the next morning and pretending that everything was fine and that you could cope. 

You wiped away your tears and thought of the last time you had seen his brilliant gray eyes. It was shortly before the third task; he had pulled you in for a desperate and hopeful kiss, claiming that it was for luck. You had just smiled and ruffled his hair, swimming in the depth of his gaze. He had muttered a quick “I love you” in your ear before he made his way towards the other champions. It hadn’t been too long since you last saw his eyes, but no one had told you that it would be the last time. 

If you had known that you’d never see him again you would have done so much more. You would have tried harder to memorize the shape of his jaw and the curve of his lips. You would have attempted to decide if his eyes were more blue than gray and you would have told him that you loved him too. But it was too late. 

When Harry had brought his body back, the eyes you had loved so dearly were open but unseeing, staring blankly into the deep expanse of the sky.

Everyone believed that you were fine, not quite knowing of the storm that raged in your head. Your anguish was concealed by empty smiles and hollow laughter. People were uncomfortable with open displays of grief. Once you had arrived back at school for your seventh year you quickly discovered that your pain had reached its expiration date and you were expected to go on as if nothing had happened. Your crying was no longer met with the pity and understanding that it once was, it was only met with poorly hidden annoyance. So you attempted to hide your feelings, saving them for the safety of the night or moments when you could finally be alone. 

Being back at school was hard. Everything in the castle reminded you of him. On your way to transfiguration, you passed the corridor where the two of you shared your first kiss and when you sat in the Great Hall you were forced to see the spot where he had first told you that he loved you. Every time something happened you felt yourself turning over your shoulder to give him a look only he would understand only to remember that he wasn’t there. In those moments, the pain would come rushing back again, as if the wound was still fresh. 

In a small journal you’d write down conversations you’d never have. They were simple, telling him about your day or bragging about a grade. But you missed those little, inconsequential conversations. Before long the journal was stuffed and you wrote the words that you wished you could say on any spare parchment that you could find. The words your quill became most familiar with were I love you. 

Some nights, when you were too haunted by your memories, you’d find yourself in the astronomy tower, staring up at the sky. Cedric had always loved astronomy, taking it even in his later years of school. The two of you would spend hours admiring the stars, Cedric pointing out his favorite constellations. There was one night in particular that stuck out in your mind. 

The two of you had been wrapped in each other’s arms, the glow of the stars glittering in your eyes. He had revealed that when he died he wanted to become a star. He wanted a place in the spilling sea of incandescence, to reside with the likes of Vega and Pegasi. Of course, back then, the idea of death felt so far away and far removed. Neither of you suspected that the shadow of the reaper loomed so close. 

Tonight, you found yourself sitting once again under the night sky. Your journal in your hands as you read aloud, hoping that somewhere, somehow, Cedric would hear you. 

“Today during potions, I was finally able to perfect the draught of the living dead,” you said softly, knowing that if he was here Cedric would throw an arm around your shoulder and kiss your temple. 

“You teased me so incessantly last year about how badly I managed to mess it up. I think you would be proud,” you said with a sniffle, refusing to let a tear escape. 

“I’m sorry to inform you that Hufflepuff is doing dreadfully in quidditch this year,” you revealed with a soft chuckle. “Their new captain doesn’t have the same natural leadership that you do,” you paused and let out a shaky breath, “As you did I suppose.” You still had trouble talking about him in the past tense, a small part of you not quite ready to realize that he was truly gone. You pulled your knees to your chest, setting aside your collection of words. 

“I really miss you,” you whispered, “Everyone expects me to have moved on or forgotten but I can’t. I’m not sure that I’ll ever be able to.” You tore your eyes away from the stars, looking down at the floor. 

“I had all of these plans, you know? I was going to become a healer and I was going to move to the countryside. But none of that seems right anymore because you won’t be there. You won’t be able to cook me dinner when I get home from late shifts because I am dead on my feet and dreadful in the kitchen. We won’t get the cat we always talked about and you’ll never get to have the boring ministry job you always insisted you wanted,” you said. You looked back up to the sky, hoping for some sign that he was there and that he was listening but the sky didn’t say a word. But it didn’t have to, because you had faith that he heard you anyway.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[joyfeign]

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