#can i even blame my supervisor for this lmao

[dokyeomini]

i have realized i've been relying too much on my supervisors' advice to decide what course to take in my research

[nobodybetterlookatme]

Okay I'm not saying that this semester's students suck ass bc I'm not there to teach them, but isn't it just such a coincidence that the vast majority are failing so miserably and they don't have someone who will tutor them outside of class and go over notes and skills with them, while the previous semesters did have that and the majority passed? Super interesting stuff. Too bad we'll never know if things could've been different if they had just fucking paid me :)

[villain-sympathizer]

a preview of my fic "Reunited", a Re-Destro x OC scenario I've had in my head for MONTHS

[it's just chitose and rikiya in this scene, with no mention of my oc by name, so you can envision any he/him character in his place i suppose lmao]

────── ･ ｡ﾟ: *.☽ .* : ｡ﾟ･ ──────

In Rikiya’s office, it was a whole different aura, thanks to a certain blue-skinned journalist that decided to stay behind after a Meta Liberation Army meeting half an hour ago, gushing and squealing when he happened to mention the interviewee he had later was an old friend and fling from college. Another officer, Koku, had stayed to chat earlier as well, teasing him about the situation alongside the woman, but eventually left as the scheduled interview time drew near. He must have noticed how his commander’s nerves seemed to rise with each loud tock the clock made, signaling each five minute mark.

“You HAVE to hire him!” The journalist, Chitose, urged him, taking a seat on top of his desk despite the multiple times Rikiya has told her to stop doing that. But today, he was too distracted to care. “This is exactly like a cheesy romance novel, or a Hallmark movie! It has to be fate, it’s too perfect of a situation not to be!”

Rikiya let out a soft but lightly irritated sigh, a small portion of his stress markings growing ever so slightly over his temple as the MLA officer continued to chitter at him over the situation. “As right as you may be, I must still treat this as any other supervisor interview, Curious,” he puts emphasis on her codename, leaning back in his chair with a teasing grin. “Though you are living up to your name, hm?”

Chitose returns his grin tenfold, eyes filled with intrigue and glee. “I think conducting a personal interview yourself is already suggesting this is no normal interview, sir. And besides, can you blame me? The grand commander of the Meta Liberation Army had a boyfriend in college? Who just so happens to move to Deika over a decade later and apply to work at said commander’s company?” She throws her head back dramatically, hand reaching up to lean against her forehead as a wistful sigh leaves her. “And you stayed single the whole time, too! Ugh, just get married at this point, because there’s no doubt you’re soulmates!”

That brought a blush to Rikiya’s cheeks, slouching a bit more in his leather office chair in a poor attempt to hide himself. “Well, I mean- I wouldn’t say boyfriend, since we never made it official or anything-“

“Still!” The ginger-haired CEO is cut off by Chitose’s shrill voice, the journalist returning to her original position upright in a flash, her gaze back on the other. “You two were a thing, and a serious thing at that if you never dated anyone else, and he is choosing to move AND work here out of all other choices!”

Before either of them could say anything more, the pager in his office phone beeps softly with a small, blinking red light, indicating an incoming message from the reception desk. Holding a finger up to Chitose to silence her, Rikiya reaches over and presses the button to accept it. “Yes?”

“Your two o’clock appointment is on his way up, sir,” The desk worker’s voice crackled through the speaker. From the corner of the CEO’s eye, he could tell Chitose had curled her hands up into fists against her lips, trying to contain her excitement.

“Excellent, thank you for the head’s up,” Rikiya thanks them, taking his finger off the button and ending the line.

The second the soft click of the line disconnecting sounded, Chitose let out a cross between a coo and an excited squeal. “Oh I’m excited to see him, even just in passing,” she cheers, hopping off of the desk and making her way to the door. Halfway across the room, she speaks up again. “I’ll let you collect yourself then, casanova,” the blue-skinned woman teases him lightly, tossing a wink his way that made the CEO groan in embarrassment. When she reached the large double doors, she pauses in the doorway once it’s open.

“You deserve happiness, Re-Destro. Don’t let him slip through your fingers,” she tells him, her voice the most serious it’s been all day, before the doors close and Rikiya was left to himself.

[slovoricbutbetter]

My Self Blame Verges on Qualifying as Delusions* of Grandeur

cw: mentions of homelessness and (largely unrelated) self-blame

Picture, if you will, a situation. About 9pm on a Thursday, the train station; you are stressed after a week of work where you haven't yet done what you're paid for even once, on account of all the technical issues. You are also stressed about making your coworkers uncomfortable, and getting your supervisors in potential trouble, and the fact you haven't done the dishes so your flatmates must think terribly of you now- you could power a nuclear reactor with the tension, is what I'm saying.

Suddenly, a guy comes up to you. I swear if he tries to hit on us- he just needs directions, probably, smile, be nice.

He asks for some money to get food, as he's homeless and needs just about 4.50 for a meal. You don't have to, he says, and certainly not the entire sum. You have ten euros in your wallet, that is all the paper money you have. You probably don't have many coins- you spent them all weeks ago. Most of the cash you have, you have on card.

You tell him you don't have much but proceed to look in your backpack anyway. Selfish prick, just give him the ten euros. You find one ten cent coin. Apologetic, you give it to him, and look for more. He makes a joke about ladies' purses, clearly to ease your visible panic. Fucking hell, why can't I just have the body I want and have everyone fuck off about this lady shit.

You don't find anything more. You tell him so, apologise, awkwardly say 'ten cents is better than nothing, right?' like you don't have ten euros in your wallet and let him go on his merry way.

Your brain might as well be that gif of inner spongebobs running around with everything on fire. Selfish, stupid, weak, hypocrite, FIX IT, i can't very well chase him, THE FUCK YOU CAN. INTO HIGH GEAR YOU GO, c'mon, we can get more paper money if we need and it doesn't matter if people stare at us if some guy gets to eat.

You chase after him down the platform and fumble the giving of money, say you don't really need it anyway or something equivalent. Everyone is staring. You run away just as you came, halfway skipping and halfway power walking, maybe an anime run in the mix. Highly embarrassing.

What is your first thought(s) about this interaction now that it's done, dear reader?

I'll tell you what mine were.

Stupid bastard, you didn't show him proper humanity. You didn't give him much in terms of self-assurance, in terms of hope, in terms of validation. If he is cold on the streets in a year, you will be partly responsible. Insufferable, piece of shit, all that practice talking to people and you're still hopeless. You don't even donate to any of the fundraisers you see on tumblr, either. Fucking idiot.

I tried comforting ourselves, of course. Individualism is one hell of a drug, though, and never letting any self-praise- or praise in general, to be fair- stick certainly does a number on the psyche, so i don't think i really succeeded.

it doesn't matter cause this is just a demonstration. Everything is our fault if we were even tangentially involved. Thank u beautiful boyfriend for pointing that toxic belief of ours out, lmao, would not become cognizant of it so soon without your help /gen /pos

But yeah, point is that isn't an exception, that is our Normal. And today, on this tumblr post, we do solemnly swear to stop fucking doing that as much WHEEZE

it's not good for us and it's not good for others, stripping them of agency and treating them as incompetent children and fueling our self-loathing like crazy. So, we will,,, try to let go a bit. we deserve better, that isn't blasphemy to say. we won't hurt people if we don't misplace the responsibility for one guy's shitass life in the Crunching Orphans Machine like at least halfway on our shoulders.

that's obvi an extreme example and this isn't as black and white but i made my point. we need to 1) stop taking All the Responsibility Always and 2) fucking ask for recognition when we ARE responsible and did something useful and good for the people around us and/or ourselves.

like c'mon. improvement 1o1. you can't improve smth you have too little control over, lest of all alone. spend your energy wisely. you can't heal if you keep lashing the wounds for not closing faster.

all of us are fucking nerds lmao and tumblr is our theatre kid public diary. hell YEAH tbh

*'Delusions' here is almost certainly Not the clinically correct term, as far as we understand the definitions, but 'anxiety' was not cutting it and 'false belief' feels FAR too mild. if we had to put this on a scale i'd say this is like, halfway a clinical delusion and halfway severe c-ptsd. which tbh most lines in mental health study are blurred but- you get it

[libra-stellium]

Tracking my Mars transits!

Notes are from Planets in Transit by Robert Hand.

Mars square Jupiter (Mar 31 - Apr 7)

Time of very successful and energetic activity

Low key disappointed by this bc I thought I would get a lot more done but that saturn trine mars transit had me deadddd. I still ended up doing more than usual like going to happy hour!

Keep close track of what you are doing

Real! bc why did my supervisor call me on the phone to ask me what I was working on lmao makes sense bc my jupiter is in my 10H.

You may be infected with an unjustified optimism that anything you do today "will turn to gold" but it will happen through intelligent planning and foresight

The day I went to happy hour (4/5) I told my friend I was good for 4pm bc I could just clock out when I got there bc i had no assignments and tell me why I'm getting ready and I get an email at 2pm like can you edit this brief? omgggg and I texted my friend "I've done more in less time it's whatever" like girl as if this isn't serious work and it went great and I was on time to happy hour! Things keep working out so I will keep acting accordingly lmao

Do not overextend yourself, if you go beyond your normal limits the time will come when you have to pay for this

Thissssssss fml bc at happy hour I had a mango mojito and it was good but too sweet so then I got the espresso martini flight and it was sooo cute and soooo yummy! Except....I barely ate that day and the food at the restaurant was meh so we just shared buffalo chicken dip and when I got home at like 8pm I felt fine and thennnn i could NOT go to sleep bc 3 espresso martinis!! So i had a dance party in my apt to burn off energy and all of a sudden it was 3am and I go to bed and i feel SICK to my fucking stomach I was so bloated I felt lightheaded I got up and not even alka seltzer could save me omg I started doing high knees at 4am bc in my head moving like that would move my intestines lol I went to sleep at 4:30 and then the whole next day I felt sooooo bad but I blamed the eclipse energy lmfaooo (narrator: she did that shit to herself!!")

Jupiter rules your desire to include more of the universe in your own experiences

I was seeing 333 everywhere including on the bar code of a cookie I was eating lol

Mars trine Mars (Apr 4 - Apr 11)

Time of vigorous self assertion, make it clear you are willing to work for what you want

I actually had assignments I liked at work and I wrote a motion from scratch for an attorney and he wanted me to add something in there and I was like the rule doesn't include that tho... so I didn't put it and he added it himself after I turned in my draft and when he sent it to the director for signature the director deleted it LMFAO i was on cloud 9 for dayssss

Energy level is high, physical labor releases it more effectively

Dance parties were my go to! I thought I might tackle my laundry but nope

Mars is an ego-oriented planet and you'll be strongly motivated toward tasks that bring you credit, might be better to work alone

yes! all the assignments I was doing at work were not group assignments and the other attorneys were like "this is so helpful!" My head was getting so big lmao

Greater effectiveness when resuming unfinished projects

One of my assignments was research and I realized I actually did it Aug 2023 and they were asking me the same question lol but then we expanded it and found something we didn't last year!

If you have been trying to do something but have lacked the right opportunity this transit should get it moving, greater self confidence, pushing your own interests is more successful

I had a meeting with my mentor on 4/11 and I told her to put me in contact with someone she knows who works in immigration so I could volunteer bc I'm trying to get experience! But then it was weird bc the person was like okay let's meet at your next mentor meeting.....June 14 like girl why are we waiting so long?? lmao maybe for the best who knows!

[bandluvr97]

mbb 🎅

Oh my job is very boring, I have a fancy title but it's mostly the grunt work of making sure everyone else can do their job, and tomorrow I'm background support for a big party. You've got to have a more interesting job/studies, or at least better Saturday plans, so how's it going in your life?

Changkyun really saw Shownu and Wonho leave and said "I guess I'll be the sexy one... a heavy burden to carry, but I'll do it... no need to thank me..." like he has the chest to compete with them. But we love to see a bad bitch thrive, so I support it. "They wouldn't let me put Hot As F in the song, so I made it Fahrenheit and they did" BRO! (but then his vocals in Shape of Love meant I had to forgive him for all his weird explanations of his lyrics)

They're such good dancers it's annoying, seeing the "Fantasia" dance for the first time??? Or the way they pistol squat in "Shoot Out" before jumping back up to keep singing??? And they do everything in such perfect sync, which just makes it so gratifying to watch, they have some of my favorite dance breaks. And then their producers are so good, I'm glad Wonho still gets to work with that team, too (hopefully also Changkyun for his solo work, but Wooki's really good and they killed Duality).

I've never heard of the Post It Note movement, what's that? It's just so great that he dropped his emotional ballad and then said OH YOU THOUGHT! before dropping the slut (honorific) anthem that is "Open Mind".

Do you listen to other groups, too? Is MX your favorite, or someone else, or are you more evenly spread out between groups?

Hey love ��️ hope your doing well and having a chill day before work! You got this lol is it a supervisor position or is it another type of work? Lol ooooo office party!!!! What do you need to prepare for the party? What is the theme? Lol! If you count grocery shopping and watching movies/bl shows as better plans then sure lol in terms of studies I graduated in June of this year and have just been working full time lol the people and the office is great! Life is chill for now I’m living with my family to get my things together and just taking it one day at a time lol also had some fun online dating but nothing much happened with that lol wbu? What’s going on in your life?

Lmao!! He really went “I got this I’ll give you guys a break and I’ll make sure our fans are never the same after this” and it worked lol who was he planning on targeting with that outfit for the mma’s a few weeks ago when he wore nothing but leather pants, a tiddie vest and jacket like sir!!!!! Your going to give fans a scare and make them horny all in the same day 😂😂 and honestly I am here for those vibes lol and then don’t get me started on honey because he’s all dimples and then he channels his mode and it just kicks us off on the WOAH THERE train 😂😂 I firmly believe that everyone in that group is a duality king and we Stan lol

Aren’t they amazing at everything they do?!?! Like they are models, actors, dj stuff, artists, vocalists, clothing designers (yes I’m looking at you kihyun) and then they are just genuine squishes and it’s so wholesome 👍👍👍👍 oh lawd don’t get me started on the pistol squat from shootout that was phenomenal!!!!! Did you see the shootout dance break at mama in 2018? That was one of the best dance breaks I’ve ever seen them preform (and the jumpsuits were stunning) and I’m sure they will still get to preform together even though changkyun is not with sse anymore but my god thank god wonho is still there tbh that was a relief lol

What happened with the post it note thing was in 2019 he was blamed for allegedly smoking weed with a girl who he was friends with (the girl blamed him and she was doing that to a lot of idols for many years and was even in jail because it got too far for her) so he left the group at that time and he was just really broken since then and so the fandom wanted to make sure he knew that he was loved and appreciated and we wanted him to come back so bad so fans all over the world left messages on post it notes outside of the sse building so he could see it and he didn’t pop up for six months after that lol then when he was officially back to normal he took some pictures with post it notes so we knew that he saw it and appreciated it (thanks for coming to the ted talk lmao) he really said OH YOU THOUGHT I WAS DONE???? Hell to the no!!!!! Imma wear as much crop tops and booty shorts that I can possibly manage 😂😂😂was there other wonho songs you like to listen to?

Yeah I do like to listen to other groups! I would consider myself to be a multi stan 😂😂 I have my ultimate groups like monsta x, bts, ateez and black pink and then I was exploring some other groups like nct, exo, super junior, some shinee, ever glow, dream catcher, and some others lol I also like to listen to non kpop stuff too like Harry styles, one direction, Jonas brothers, why don’t we, Ed Sheeran and some other groups lol wbu?

[knickynoo]

Do you have any thoughts on Marty and his self esteem issues? In most of the trilogy, I feel like Marty ranges from experience a lot of insecurity at best, to like a considerable amount of self loathing at worst, (like pls Marty, Doc getting struck by lighting was not your fault? You’re not Thor?) . And there’s the whole chicken thing, so I was curious if you had any thoughts on where it stems from, how it’s affected him etc etc? Okay lmao that’s it, have a great day !!

Hello! Do I have thoughts?? Yes. I do.

So, one of the things I like so much about Marty as a character is that...he's kind of an enigma of sorts? Like. Here's this kid who skateboards, rocks that denim jacket and the cool sunglasses, plays guitar, has a pretty girlfriend, etc. You take all of that, and it should reflect a really confident, popular person. I mean, with all the stereotypical "cool guy" attributes considered, Marty should have Ferris Bueller-level confidence and charm. He should be strutting around, smooth-talking everyone, laughing in the face of danger, and possessing unshakeable self-esteem. But he does/has none of those things because, as we all know, Marty is A Mess (affectionate). And yeah, a lot of it seems to stem from self-esteem issues, which we do see sprinkled throughout the trilogy. Where's it all coming from? Well, a lot of places, most likely...

• FAMILY: Probably the biggest factor. Though I'm sure George and Lorraine were sincerely in love for a while at the beginning of their relationship/marriage, I think it's fair to assume that any real spark between them had pretty much fizzled out by the time Marty came along or when he was a young kid. Take a loveless relationship between a meek, subservient man and a woman who drinks away her feelings, factor in a 17-year-old boy who's probably never had any real semblance of parental stability in his house, and it's highly likely that kid is going to have some issues. It's really difficult to believe in yourself & feel secure when the norm is having parents who are wrapped up in their own worlds/rarely interact with each other, seeing your father get emotionally (& physically!) pushed around by his supervisor, and watching your mom cling to alcohol and sink into depression.

• Plus, there are the separate relationships George and Lorraine have with Marty. Granted, we don't see much of it, but what we see at dinner is probably a good example of a typical interaction. George is quick to steer Marty away from any situation where he may face rejection or hardship. And yeah, he may think he's protecting his son, but this strategy is actually pretty harmful. I can imagine that any time Marty is feeling nervous or let down, and goes to his father seeking encouragement, he's only left with the impression that it's better not to take any risks at all because he might fail anyway. Instead of being built up, any potential self-worth is being chipped away at by George.

And as far as Lorraine is concerned, I get the impression that she's (more often than not) critical and judgemental of Marty. She's not shy about airing her strong dislike for Jennifer, during which Marty stays completely silent and unresponsive. Perhaps Marty's general default around his mom is silence, due to him having learned a long while back that he's better off keeping his mouth shut. I can see Lorraine lecturing Marty often, picking apart every little flaw she may see in him (friends, grades, attitude, etc.), especially when she's had too many drinks and especially when you consider that Marty is probably her most "difficult" child. Sad as it may sound, I can't picture Marty walking away from very many interactions with his mother feeling good about himself.

• GENERAL ANXIETY/NEURODIVERGENCY: Marty is an easily flustered, anxious guy. And whether that stems from his home environment or genetics (I mean, look at George), I don't know. But he definitely seems to be a sort of nervous, hesitant kid, particularly in the first movie. I also, like most of the fandom, headcanon Marty as having ADHD. And like...if that's the case for him, it certainly isn't helping at all with the self-esteem stuff. He's written off as a slacker at school, told he'll never amount to anything, and probably struggles a lot to keep up in his classes and survive in an environment that almost definitely doesn't offer any form of support or accommodations. That would be a big blow to his self-worth as well.

People with ADHD also tend to be very critical of themselves, worry about what others think of them, and have a hard time with rejection. Hence, the one rejection at the audition followed by, I'm just a big, stupid failure and I'll never ever be good enough. My world is crumbling, I should just give up everything forever =(((

(What do you mean those weren't his exact words??)

• BONUS: Marty might also face a decent amount of social isolation/teasing due to his friendship with Doc, which would take a toll on confidence too. Also, I just...don't think that Marty has many friends??

When you take all the above factors, Marty's self-esteem issues make a lot of sense and, if not for Doc, would probably run a lot deeper than what we see in the trilogy. ALSO!

• Marty blaming himself for Doc getting hit by lightning in the DeLorean: I've seen a few people comment on this and how they think it's ridiculous that Marty felt guilty but...it's always made a lot of sense to me, actually. No, Marty didn't cause the lightning, but he did set off the chain of events that led to Doc being there at that moment. If he'd had the inner strength/self-control to walk away from Biff outside of the dance, he could have just joined Doc on the roof with the almanac and they'd have been on their merry way. And even if Biff had continued to challenge him, or even followed him, Marty likely could have created a diversion or gotten an adult at the dance to help and still made it up to the roof before the worst of the storm hit. But because he couldn't stand being called a chicken, he ended up taking a door to the face, had the book stolen back, and had to go on that little side adventure to retrieve it, which led to Doc needing to save him. So yeah, I'm actually team Marty on this one. His choice did lead to Doc being catapulted into the Old West, lol. I'd have been consumed with guilt too.

• The Chicken Thing: I'm not going to go into too much detail (HA!) because this is already ridiculously long, but I will say that I don't go by the more popular headcanon that says Marty's sudden inability to handle being challenged is due to the updated timeline taking effect and "altering" him. Essentially, that Marty growing up with a confident, successful father made him have higher expectations put on him, and so he was always striving to prove he could live up to them.

I actually don't think any ripples from the new timeline catch up to Marty yet during the course of the trilogy. (I tend to headcanon that as happening gradually in the coming weeks and months after he gets home). Instead, I think that Marty's inclination towards becoming feral at the words "chicken", "yellow", etc. is because of his life in his original timeline. Growing up with a jellyfish for a father, it makes sense that Marty would want to distance himself as much as possible from being associated with weakness. He'd want to prove himself that much more because everyone around him would probably think he's just like his cowardly old man.

And though I know it's not really possible (because they weren't planning on a 2nd or 3rd movie), I think a case can be made that there's a glimpse of the "chicken thing" in the first movie, in the scene of Marty and Lorraine in the car at the dance. I mean, he gets all upset and tells her not to drink, but then she calls him a square, uses the classic peer-pressure tactic of, everyone's doing it, and he caves instantly and takes a swig. Could be because he doesn't want to be thought of as a square, or could be because he's desperate to calm his nerves a bit. Either way, Marty doesn't seem to fare too well when challenged or put under pressure, so I lump this scene in as a "chicken" moment.

I...need to stop. I set out to write a quick response to this. Like, a paragraph or two. But this question activated Hyperfocus Mode, and I blinked and now it's 2 hours after I started and I have AN ESSAY.

Thanks for the ask! *goes to lie down*

[peterstanslizzie]

Re-watching Lizzie Mcguire: Episode 2.10 (Working Girl)

Lizzie unintentionally breaking the fourth wall

- Have we already established the fact that Lizzie (not Hilary) is a really bad actress? She tries to butter her parents up by giving them compliments to get them to kindly raise her allowance. But of course, they are able to see right through her and give her a big fat NO. Lizzie is fuming!

Poor Miranda!

- The natural thing for Lizzie to do after this is to then vent to her friends at the Digital Bean. Miranda spots a ‘busboy wanted’ sign in the distance and tries to tell Lizzie that she could get a job to pay for her things. Lizzie is too busy in her rant to even notice what she’s trying to tell her but for some strange reason, when Gordo points it out to her instead, she suddenly pays attention and hears him out. Weird.

- Anyways, Lizzie easily gets the job and her first day is tomorrow. She thinks it’s going to be a piece of cake. Don’t jinx it Lizzie...

- The next morning, Lizzie announces her new job to her parents and they are taken aback because they didn’t expect her to get one all of a sudden. They are also worried that she’s taking on too many responsibilities and there might be too much on her plate. I think it’s safe to say they’re probably right. 

Lizzie Starts Her Job

- We skip to Lizzie on her first day working at the Digital Bean and she quickly realizes there’s a lot to do as the new busboy. And it doesn’t help that her manager seems to be a total nightmare to work for. She’s so bossy! I would hate having a manager like her. 

- And it doesn’t get better from then on because Lizzie is starting to get paranoid about her friends making even the smallest mess in the café because she has to be the one to clean up after them. But you know what, who could blame her? Especially when you have these two around: 

Can these two ever get a life?

- And unsurprisingly, Lizzie’s manager demands that she cleans up the spill when it’s so obvious that Kate and Claire were the ones who purposely caused it. Lizzie is now starting to feel regrets about taking this job.

- The next day (which I’m assuming is a Saturday?), Sam notices Lizzie looking distraught about having to go to work and tells her she can always quit if she wants to. He also lets Lizzie know that she’s just a kid and the only responsibilities she should have is being a good student, a good friend and a good daughter. Now that’s really solid advice from Sam...and Jo (because she probably told him to convince Lizzie to quit)

Lizzie Quits After....3 Days?

Lizzie’s better than me. I would’ve thrown that spoon right at his face lol

- During her shift that day, she’s dealing with a bunch of difficult customers, which, again, includes Kate and Claire. On top of that, her supervisor (whatever her name is) is just soooo not being understanding or thoughtful towards Lizzie.  

Also, if I were Lizzie, I would’ve popped Claire in her forehead and quit my job afterwards. Lizzie could’ve gotten really hurt thanks to her. 

That guy totally deserved that

- Lizzie has had enough and decides to give everyone who did her wrong a piece of her mind. I’m glad she manage to get that all out of her system but because of her rant, Lizzie gets fired from her role as busboy at the Digital Bean. But you know what? Good on her!

- After getting the pink slip, Lizzie comes home and tells her friends what just happened. She actually seems relieved that she doesn’t have to deal with the stress from her job anymore. Even just watching her work makes me feel stressed out. 

B-Plot: Miranda Doesn’t Like Breaking Young Boy’s Hearts

- Matt is currently feeling down in the dumps because he thinks that Melina doesn’t want to be friends with him anymore. Well, more like doesn’t like him anymore. He expresses this to his friend, Reggie, whom I don’t think we’ve been introduced to beforehand. 

- It’s not so much that Melina doesn’t talk to him anymore. It’s more so that she hasn’t been getting Matt into any trouble recently. I mean, we all know that this weird relationship of theirs has pretty toxic tendencies. But she’s actually now focusing her attention on this other boy named Jared.

- Reggie suggests to Matt that he ask his sister, Lizzie for some advice as to why Melina has been treating him differently these days. Matt hesitates at first but he realizes that he really has no other choice. 

This made me laugh so much. Matt literally insinuated that Jo isn’t a girl. I mean, she is a woman but I’m sure his mom more than qualifies.  

- Matt then shows up at Lizzie’s job to tell her about his problem. But their conversation is cut short by Lizzie’s manager. She’s beginning to really annoy me. 

It also doesn’t help that Lizzie can be quite clumsy sometimes...

- While Lizzie is busy being a total mess at work, Matt is lucky enough to be able to ask Miranda for advice instead since she is, indeed a girl. Miranda basically tells him that it’s Melina’s problem and how she isn’t able to realize how great of a kid Matt is. She also had to add that there are others girls who would be so lucky to go out with him. See how this is going?

Look at Matt’s face; He totally just misunderstood Miranda’s intention in everything she just told him lol

And now he’s gone full-blown stalker mode. Yikes!

- The next day, Lizzie, Miranda and Gordo come home from school to chill at Lizzie’s place but Matt uses this opportunity to give Miranda a ‘thank-you’ card:

Oh my word. Miranda better run for the hills hahahaha. Also, does the music have to be THAT dramatic when she opens his card? LOL

- It’s one thing to have crushes but Matt takes it to a whole other level. I get that he’s like 11/12 but still...

He’s also now calling her and sending her a bunch of balloons with his and her face on them. 

- On their three way call, Miranda is asking Gordo for his advice on how to gently turn Matt down. To my surprise, Miranda still doesn’t want to hurt Matt’s feelings and actually agrees to go on a bike-riding date with him. To be honest, if I were Miranda, it would also be hard for me to turn him down. I’m not exactly sure why. It must be the people pleaser in me...

By the way, is it weird that I love Miranda’s outfit here? Very Avril Lavigne circa 2002.

His smile...

- The next day, with Gordo’s support, Miranda tries to work up enough courage to reject Matt but before she could let it out, Melina marches into the living room  and confronts Miranda for ‘stealing her man’. Yikes, Miranda just got dissed by an 11 year old lmao. 

Melina just proved to all of us that she likes Matt back. That’s sweet...in a twisted kind of way.

- Oh and just like how Gordo pointed out, it’s quite embarrassing that Miranda just got dumped by Matt of all people. Again, poor Miranda...

- There’s also one last surprise for Miranda. Apparently Matt had a cake made for her that Lizzie has taken out of the fridge. And because of that, she has no other choice but to act like a pig and eat the frosting of the cake with her bare hands just to prevent Lizzie from seeing what’s written on the cake. I would have done the same thing lol.

Overall Thoughts

- I found this episode to be one the funniest Lizzie Mcguire episodes so far. I felt like almost every scene either made me slightly chuckle or laugh out loud. From Lizzie’s short stint at the Digital Bean as a busboy to Matt’s sudden crush on Miranda, I was thoroughly entertained from start to finish.

- Honestly speaking, had Matt been able to dial down the craziness in terms of ‘pursuing’ someone just like he did with Miranda, he actually knows how to be a pretty romantic kid. No wonder Melina likes controlling being around him. And seeing her confronting Miranda like that and basically telling her that she’s just a rebound was hilarious to watch. 

- Lizzie’s new job as the busboy was fascinating to watch because it’s the first time we see her working a job and taking on responsibilities outside the house and school. Even though she got fired, I can’t imagine anyone being able to put up with that bossy manager. Like if the busboy turnover rate is consistently high, surely that has something to do with the work environment and the people running the internet café, right? Or can they at least hire more busboys to spread out the workload? Solutions people!

[king-finnigan]

16. prison AU, and 86. I didn't mean to turn you on, geraskier fic

Read at your own risk lmao. Contains some nsfw. (But with a prompt like that, can you blame me?)

***

Geralt had expected many things when he had been hired as a prison guard. He had expected fights, he had expected insults thrown at his head, he had even expected riots.

What he hadn’t expected, was standing in the recreation room for hours on end, watching as prisoners read books, watched reality shows on the tiny tv, and drew. Of all things, Geralt had been most surprised about the drawing, really. It hadn’t really seemed like a thing grown men did in prison, but as it turns out, it’s as good a hobby as any.

So, he stands there, arms crossed in front of his chest, in the corner, mind wandering to the matter of what he’ll have for dinner tonight, as he keeps one eye on the prisoners, the other on the clock. It’s nearly 5, which means he has about two more hours left of his shift. 

The prisoners eat at 6, he knows, so he’ll probably either be stationed in the dining room, or he’ll have to patrol the halls to make sure no one’s doing anything potentially illegal.

He sighs a bit, as the minutes tick by, slowly but surely. His attention is caught by one of the inmates, Jaskier Pankratz, he remembers. Here because of manslaughter. Stabbed a guy in the neck with a broken bottle for insulting him. Only convicted for manslaughter and not murder, because he did not plan it for a single second, though the judge did give him an extra long sentence - deemed him emotionally unstable, apathetic, and likely to reoffend. The young man will be lucky if he gets out of here in the next thirty years.

Shame, really, Geralt thinks, as he looks at the young man drawing... well, something, Geralt’s not really sure what it’s supposed to be, as it looks like a bunch of scratchy lines in random colours, but he’s sure that if he were to ask, the inmate would give him a longwinding explanation about how it represents his situation or some shit like that. They always do when he asks.

He sighs again, shifting from foot to foot a bit to relieve the pain in his legs from standing still so long. It is a shame, that Jaskier will likely spend his remaining days here. He’s so young, quite good-looking, and clever, too. He would’ve had a bright future if he hadn’t been such a little monster. There’s a reason why Geralt reads the file of every new prisoner that arrives, and Jaskier is the perfect example: if Geralt hadn’t known about the gruesome crime the young man had commited, he would’ve let his guard down around Jaskier.

After all, he thinks, as he looks at the way the tip of Jaskier’s tongue pokes out between his lips, as he concentrates, it’s so easy to be charmed by the young man’s good looks and silver tongue, by the facade of innocence and naivety he puts up.

Geralt blinks, and suddenly he realizes that Jaskier is staring right back at him, blue eyes curious. The guard clenches his jaw when the young man shoots him a wink, and he looks away, trying and failing to stop heat from rising to his cheeks. He shouldn’t be doing this, shouldn’t be giving the prisoner any wrong ideas - whatever they may be.

He startles a bit, shaken from his thoughts, as his walkie creaks, the monotone voice of his supervisor telling him he’s on patrol duty for the rest of the shift.

He risks one last glance at Jaskier, and sees bright blue eyes looking right back. He fixes his gaze on the wall opposite him.

---

The noises from the dining room are dulled in the hallways as Geralt walks through them. Of course, there is no one else in sight, all the other guards either in the dining room or on the other side of the building, all the inmates eating dinner.

He sighs to himself. Just half an hour more, and he can go home. He just has to bear thirty minutes more of this boring nothingness. He can do this.

He stops in his tracks as he walks past the door to the recreation room. He frowns, as he sees someone on their hands and knees on the floor, searching for something under the table.

Well, really, hands and knees is a bit generous. The guy’s shoulders are practically on the floor, ass in the air almost invitingly, for lack of better word, as his hand sweeps under the table.

Geralt walks into the room, rounding the man, who looks up at him. He meets brilliantly blue eyes and a cheeky grin, and, combined with the... compromising position Jaskier’s in, it makes heat pool in the pit of Geralt’s stomach.

He frowns, shaking the thoughts he definitely shouldn’t be having away. “What are you doing, inmate?”

Jaskier looks back down, frowning in annoyance as he takes one last look under the table, before crawling to the bookshelf Geralt is standing next to, looking underneath it. “A pencil. A yellow one, to be precise. Rolled off the table, earlier, and I can’t find it.”

“You should be at dinner.”

Jaskier looks up again at Geralt, grinning widely, eyes sparkling. “I know. But yellow is my favourite colour, and I really want that pencil back.”

Geralt rolls his eyes. “You’ll find it tomorrow, now get up.”

“Alright, alright.” Jaskier sits up on his knees, wiping the dirt off his hands. He looks to the side, right at Geralt’s crotch. “Oh,” he breathes, “I could get used to this sight.”

Geralt blinks, mind crashing and burning as he tries to process what Jaskier’s just said. “What?” he manages to choke out.

Jaskier looks up, all cheeky grin and sparkling blue eyes. “Oh, my bad.” He looks down for a second, then back up, gazing at the guard through his lashes, something changing in his face that sets Geralt’s skin on fire. “I could get used to this sight, sir.”

Geralt swallows thickly, heat definitely starting to pool at the bottom of his stomach, and he knows he’ll probably have to relieve himself in some quiet corner after this. “Get the hell up,” he bites out.

Jaskier pouts up at him, but does as he’s told after Geralt staring him down for several seconds. The inmate’s fingers brush against the side of the guard’s leg, as he finally gets up, blue eyes glinting with something dangerous that makes adrenaline pump through Geralt’s veins in a way that isn’t entirely unpleasant.

“Oh, dear,” Jaskier mutters out, when he’s finally standing up, looking down at the obvious tent in Geralt’s trousers. “I didn’t mean to turn you on, sir.”

He feels anger course red-hot through his veins, along with the adrenaline and arousal, and he snarls at Jaskier, pushing the young man to the back and to the side, pressing Jaskier’s back against the wall. “I suggest you stop this right now.”

“Or what?” The young man stretches his neck out, nose brushing against Geralt’s, his breath ghosting over his lips teasingly. “You’ll punish me?”

Geralt grunts in surprise when Jaskier slings his leg around him, the inmate’s heel digging onto the muscles at the back of his thigh, pulling him closer. 

He can’t help himself, not in this position, as he plants his palm against the wall next to Jaskier’s head, taking in the way the wicked grin turns into a small gasp of pleasure when he grinds against the young man, their cocks brushing against each other through the layers of clothing. Jaskier is insufferable, and Geralt would like nothing better than to ruin this facade of cockiness and self-confidence, to reduce the young man to panting moans and whimpers as he comes undone.

Infuriatingly enough, Jaskier seems to know that, as the wicked grin returns to his face, though his pupils are blown wide, almost completely taking over the blue in his eyes. “Please, sir, have mercy on me.”

And Geralt can’t stop the low rumble that escapes his chest at the way Jaskier purrs the word ‘sir’ into his ear. He noses at the young man’s neck, teeth clamping down softly on his pulse, grinding against Jaskier at the same time, earning him another shuddering moan.

The reality of what the hell he’s doing hits him when the noise from the dining room become less and less muted, the other inmates done eating dinner. He pulls back from Jaskier with a few trembling steps, taking in a shaky breath.

He points at the young man. “Don’t tell anyone,” he hisses.

The inmate chuckles, all dark eyes, sweaty, brown curls and rosy cheeks. “Wouldn’t dare.” 

Geralt can see a glimpse of a wink, before he turns around, stumbling out of the recreation room.

---

He has to pull himself off in the bathroom to get rid of the arousal coursing through his body; quick and dirty, groaning into his palm as he comes. Still, even after that, he can’t get rid of the images that keep flashing through his mind every time he blinks, can’t get rid of the wave of heat that spreads through his body at the memories.

Rosy lips, blue eyes, blown pupils, sweaty, brown hair sticking against flushed skin, nimble, wandering hands, a silver tongue.

He pushes the thoughts away, heading to his locker when his shift finally ends. He rushes out the door without as much as a goodbye to his colleagues, slamming the car door shut behind him, driving home way too fast, well over speed limit.

Once he’s finally home, he closes the door behind him, leaning against it. He presses his palm against his forehead, feeling the heat that resides just under his skin, ready to be awoken the second he thinks about Jaskier.

He sighs, walking to the bedroom, taking off his uniform. He puts his gun in the locker next to the bed, reaching for the key badge he always wears on his belt.

He freezes when his hand finds empty air.

Fuck.

The little shit’s stolen his badge.

[simplybakugou]

These Damn Kids

↝ After some convincing despite how much he despises kids, you managed to get Bakugou to volunteer at a children’s camp with you... 

BINGO SPACE: Camp Counselors

⋆ PAIRING: bakugou x fem!reader ⋆ WARNINGS/TAGS: swearing; fluff ⋆ WORD COUNT: 1955

A/N: another @bnhabookclub​ bingo piece. i honestly missed writing for bakugou so this was very easy to write lmao. the minute someone requested bakugou for this prompt (thank you to the anon who did btw) it had me cracking up at the thought of bakugou having to deal with a bunch of kids. hope you enjoy this!

FULL BINGO MASTERLIST

✐posted 08.08.2020✐

“Can’t believe this shitty girl’s convinced me to come to this stupid fucking thing,” Bakugou muttered under his breath as he drove up the slope into the campsite. 

It was the summer of his second year at U.A. and Bakugou was ready to train and work his body as much as he could before starting his final year. He wanted to prepare so that he would be ready for the chaos that comes with attending a high profile school like U.A. but unfortunately his plans were foiled. You somehow managed to convince him to volunteer at the summer camp for children, which was one of the many things Bakugou hated.

Being a student at Shiketsu High, you were well aware of the kind of rigor and training that is required when attending a hero school. U.A. and Shiketsu would often collaborate and allow the students to intermingle in order to get accustomed to working with students that weren’t from their respective schools as once they became pro heroes, they would be teamed up with other pros that they might not be familiar with. 

When you met the students from class A during one of these school team ups, you immediately gravitated to Bakugou. Having watched and always been fond of the annual U.A. sports festival, you admired Bakugou’s will and ambition, not to mention how he was a powerhouse of a fighter. Initially Bakugou saw you like he saw everybody else, just an annoying extra that would get on his nerves. And although you did find it hilarious when you were able to get under his skin, you caught Bakugou’s eye when you managed to beat Midoriya during a one and one training fight. Needless to say, he didn’t hate you that much.

Since then you managed to get him to agree to go out on a date with you and the rest was history. Now you practically had him wrapped around your finger as he wouldn’t hesitate to beat anyone up that even looked at you the wrong way. It was unbelievable when you imagined how different he was back when you first met him to now. 

Bakugou parked his car in front of the camp site, letting out a big sigh as he was preparing to enter the battlefield of children. He exited the car, making his way through the wooded area as he scanned the many kids and supervisors looking after them. He finally found you as you were sitting on the ground in front of a crowd of about ten children. You had them practically eating out of your palm with the way they were mesmerized by the book you were reading to them.

The corners of Bakugou’s lips rose slightly as he admired how adorable you looked. He knew how much you loved kids, although he could never understand why, and you genuinely seemed content with working with them. 

“Um, excuse me,” a high-pitched voice squeaked from behind Bakugou. 

“What?” Bakugou asked the little boy as he turned around, his natural tone making the child frightened.

“Um, are you that angry guy from U.A.?” He asked, innocently watching him.

“Whoa, I think that’s him!” Another kid said as two other children ran up beside their friend. 

Sooner rather than later a mini crowd formed around Bakugou as all the children peered up at him in awe. Under any other circumstance he would’ve relished the moment of being recognized by such simpletons but the idea of a bunch of miniature humans annoying him as they all were speaking amongst one another as if he wasn’t there was just pissing him off.

“Wait! I think this is the guy that got kidnapped by the League of Villains!” One kid exclaimed, a round of gasps erupting from the crowd. 

“You fucking shit, I dare you to fucking say that again--” 

Before Bakugou ended up assaulting one of the children, and even though you were enjoying yourself as your boyfriend seemed genuinely ticked off, you cupped your hands over your lips as you called out, “Okay! It’s time for lunch!”

The kids let out their excited cheers as they ran towards the common area for lunch. You waved at them, letting a few of them know that you would be joining them soon. You glanced over at Bakugou, a wide grin appearing on your face as you approached him.

You leaned up on your tiptoes, planting a small kiss to his lips as you wrapped your arms around his waist. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

“Yeah? That makes one of us.”

You chuckled. “I really appreciate you coming here. You’re always working yourself so hard and I thought you could have some fun!”

Bakugou scoffed. “There’s nothing fun about spending a week with some fucking brats.”

“Well, I also wanted to spend some time with my handsome boyfriend, too,” you said, knowing Bakugou well enough to throw in a few compliments to butter him up. “And plus, you might make some new friends here, you never know!”

“I fucking doubt that,” Bakugou muttered.

“Ahem!” A more grown voice mumbled from behind you. 

“Shishikura!” You said as you turned around, greeting your upperclassman as you pulled away from Bakugou.

“You shouldn’t be doing something so indecent in front of children, Y/N,” Shishikura scolded you despite his glare narrowing down at Bakugou.

Bakugou rolled his eyes. “Mind your business, you meat fuck. If I'd known your ass would be here, I wouldn’t’ve come.”

“Well maybe you should go back home then,” Shishikura said, his tone holding as much annoyance as Bakugou’s did. 

“Okay, boys, you can calm down,” you said, laughing as you had gotten used to their hatred for one another and their need to constantly be at each other’s throats. “I’ll be over to help out in a second.”

“Alright,” Shishikura said curtly, turning around as he made his way towards the picnic area where all the children were hanging around.

“Why the fuck is that piece of shit here?” Bakugou grunted, as he was still scowling at the sight of the annoying upperclassman that he encountered during his provisional license exam in his first year.

“Shishikura’s really sweet when you get to know him. You guys just make a big deal of nothing.” You entwined your fingers into Bakugou’s hand as you pulled him towards the direction of the kids. “And plus, he’s the one who told me about this camp in the first place!”

“So it’s that fucker’s fault I’ve gotta stay here for a week?” Bakugou asked, content with being able to blame Shishikura for something.

“No, silly, that was me.” You turned your head to the sound of one of the older supervisor’s calling your name. “I’ll be right back. Just make sure all the kids are eating and getting along!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Bakugou muttered, watching as you helped out as much as you could.

Bakugou’s scarlet eyes scanned the area, already deciding that he didn’t really want to be around so many tiny humans as they were scarfing down their meals. While most of them sat at the wooden picnic tables together as they happily consumed their food, one little boy sat all alone. He was picking at his sandwich, barely eating even a crumb. 

“Hey, kid,” Bakugou called out to him. “Why’re you sitting by yourself?”

The little boy looked up at Bakugou, his blue eyes widening at the sight of such an intimidating person. He turned his head back to his sandwich. “No one wants to sit with me.”

Bakugou glanced over to the other kids who seemed jovial as they were enjoying each other’s company and then he glanced back at the little boy. Letting out a sigh, Bakugou sat in front of the boy at the table. “I’ll sit with ya. What’s your name?”

“Ayato,” the boy said in a low tone.

“So none of these little shits wanna hang out with you?”

Ayato’s eyes widened at the sound of Bakugou’s profane language. “Um, I don’t think you’re supposed to be cursing like that.”

“Yeah? There’s a lotta things I’m not supposed to do but that’s not gonna stop me,” Bakugou said with a huff. 

As Bakugou’s eyes wandered amongst the crowd once more, he felt a surge of anger flow through him, more than usual at least, at the sight of Shishikura standing so close to you. He said something to you, causing you to laugh and your features to soften in a way that would normally make Bakugou’s heart melt. Typically he wouldn’t have gotten so upset at the sight of a man being so physically close to you, as he had full trust in you, but the idea of one of the people he despised being that man made him furious.

Ayato followed where Bakugou was glaring so harshly. “Why do you look so mad, mister?”

“See that prick over there?” Bakugou pointed to Shishikura to which Ayato nodded. “I can’t stand him… especially when he’s near my girl.”

“He’s weird and he talks funny,” Ayato said in agreement. “Is (L/N) your girlfriend?”

“Yeah.”

“She’s really pretty and she’s really nice,” Ayato said, a small smile appearing on his lips.

“Damn right she is.” Bakugou decided to take this chance to try and get him to eat something, understanding that he was fond of you. “Well, (L/N) would want you to eat.”

Ayato let out a small sigh, grabbing the sandwich in his hands and taking a small bite, chewing the food before swallowing. He watched Bakugou as he watched you, observing Shishikura carefully and almost letting out a sigh of relief when he finally walked away from you. 

You glanced over at Bakugou, feeling his crimson eyes seer through the back of your skull. You sent him a toothy grin, overjoyed that he had finally spoken to someone. After taking care of things for the supervisors, you made your way towards Bakugou and Ayato, checking up on a few children on the way.

You sat beside Bakugou, resting your head on your hands as you smiled at Ayato. “How’s lunch, Ayato?”

“It’s good!” Ayato exclaimed in a tone that was ten times more enthusiastic than it was with Bakugou. “We were talking about you.”

“You were?” You asked, glimpsing over to your boyfriend.

“Yeah, and we were talking about how weird that meatball shit is,” Bakugou said, earning a giggle from Ayato.

“Katsuki, you can’t curse in front of the kids,” you whispered to him, intending for Ayato not to hear.

“It’s okay, it’s funny,” Ayato reassured.

“See, the kid’s fine with it,” Bakugou said.

Before you could scold him any further, one of the lead supervisors clapped her hands to get the attention of the kids, announcing that they were going to start the next activity soon. Ayato took another bite from his sandwich, jumping down from his seat with the sandwich still in hand. He waved to you and especially to Bakugou. “Thank you for keeping me company, mister.”

“Sure thing, kid,” Bakugou replied back and you both watched Ayato catch up with the other kids and adults.

You smiled at Bakugou, brushing a few stray strands of hair back to place on his forehead. “So you made a friend? I thought all kids were ‘fucking brats?’”

Bakugou narrowed his eyes at you and then peered back to Ayato. “Well… some of these damn kids are alright I guess.”

You laughed, getting back to your feet as you had to drag Bakugou back to the crowd to help the others. Maybe it was due to meeting a ‘tamed’ kid like Ayato, but this week might not be so bad after all...

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[loveburnsbrighter]

30. ‘this is my husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner etc.’ + David/Patrick!

this got really Patrick-centric, so i hope that's okay! i have a thing about Patrick getting everything he wants lmao. read it on ao3

When Jocelyn asked Patrick to help out with the high school's fall musical ("The drama teacher is on extended maternity leave, we're really in a bind!") he wasn't so sure at first.  He agreed, of course, in no small part because Jocelyn had the glint in her eye that said she was on the edge of snapping, but he wasn't particularly excited about the prospect of running lines with a bunch of teens eight hours a week for eight weeks out of the fall.  Especially when that time could be spent in the store he runs with his new husband.

David, for his part, hadn't been thrilled about being left to close alone four days a week, but he'd encouraged Patrick easily enough, waving away his concerns breezily.  "You like kids," he told Patrick the night before his first day on the job, murmuring into the space between them across their pillows.  "And you love theater.  This will be good for you."

David had been right, of course.  Now, three weeks into rehearsals for Grease, Patrick is loving the job, even if the kids have a terrible collective habit of asking invasive questions and making inappropriate jokes.  Patrick finds himself sending a mental apology to all of his high school teachers the third time he catches the kids sharing a rousing chorus of a particularly dirty song, and catches himself sternly asking them to cut it out.

For the most part, though, the job is fun.  The kids call him "Mr Patrick," and they seem actually impressed when he tells them about Cabaret.  The student director listens to his suggestions.  It's another one of those things that's clicked in his life since he moved to Schitt's Creek, although less and less frequently; he was meant to do this, could have been doing this all along.

It's Wednesday of his third week on Grease, and the kids have asked if they can stay an extra hour or so, try a full run-through with notes.  Jocelyn, who's their official staff supervisor and barely involved in the actual mechanics of the play, tells them that it's okay with her if it's okay with Patrick, so he calls David to let him know he'll be home extra-late.

David is surprisingly chipper about it.  "I'm gonna lock up in about half an hour," he says, voice crackling past the school's shotty reception.  "I could pick up some pizza for you and the kids?"

Patrick fake-gasps.  "Is that David Rose, doing something nice for a bunch of children?"

"Um, I'm doing something nice for you, and if the children happen to benefit, I can't control that," David clarifies with a huff.

Patrick laughs as he hangs up.

They're working through Hopelessly Devoted to You, a little bit shakily, when there's a sharp rattle on the auditorium door.  Jocelyn leaps from the card table where she's been grading papers.  "David!"  She exclaims when she opens it and he struts in, laden down with pizza boxes.  "You brought the kids dinner!"

"Yeah, Patrick said they were working late?"  David sets the stack of boxes on the table, careful of Jocelyn's papers.  

"Of course!"  Jocelyn is smiling like she's impressed by the gesture.  

Patrick witnesses this exchange from partway between the door and the stage, which are maybe fifteen feet apart.  "Okay, guys, take ten," he calls as they wrap up their number.  "I got us pizza!"

"Sorry, who got us pizza?"  David raises a pointed brow.

Patrick looks David over, his skirt and sweater and horribly uncomfortable-looking boots, and thinks that the kids will love him.  Especially Sal; they play Rizzo, and they're secretly Patrick's favorite, full of laughter and good questions and teenage rage-against energy.  

The kids huddle around, shooting David incredibly blatant glances.  "Who is this?"  Asks Joshie, a junior who's chalk-full of innuendo.  She's eyeing David speculatively, head tilted.

"This is the guy who just brought you all pizza."  Patrick leans in to peck David, a quick, cursory thing, as David gets close to him.  "Guys, this is my husband, David."

Patrick didn't expect that sentence to be a big deal, but now that he's said it, it feels like one.  He knows that he's mentioned having a husband before, but he's never said it like that — this is my husband.  It feels so good, Patrick never wants to say anything else.  He could be like Amelie, except instead of his own name, he'd say nothing but this is my husband, David.  

"...Cool skirt," Sal says.  David looks himself over self-consciously, and Patrick smiles at him, so he knows that they mean that.

The kids descend on the pizza with abandon, still eyeing David and whispering to one another between bites, and David regards them with the kind of nervous energy he usually reserves for prospective vendors — he wants them to like him, Patrick knows, because Patrick likes them.  

Later, after the pizza has been demolished and David has left Patrick with a kiss and a see you in a bit, Patrick corrals the kids into a circle beside the stage.  "Mr Patrick?"  Patrick looks at Sal — they're almost his height, so he doesn't have to look down at all.  "Your husband is cool."

"Your husband is hot," Joshie announces, eliciting nervous giggles from the rest of the kids, but Patrick is too shaken to admonish them.

Hearing your husband is almost as good as saying my husband.  No one has ever said it to Patrick before.  His mom asked for a dance with his groom at their wedding reception, but that isn't the same thing.  Husband is bigger than that.  David was his groom for a day.  They'll be husbands for the rest of their lives.

"Is it that surprising to you guys that I have a cool, hot husband?"  He says finally, head still wrapping around the enormity of it.  The possessive pronoun of it all.  His husband.  His husband.  David, David, David, Patrick thinks until his head is so full of his husband David that he physically shakes it to make room for the rest of rehearsal.

Joshie and Sal keep putting their heads together and laughing, in the wings, in the backgrounds of scenes, and Patrick would bet this whole production that one or both of them has a crush on David, but honestly — honestly, if David had walked into Patrick's high school, he might have realized he was gay long before he actually did.  Like, ten years before.  So he can't blame them, really.

When Patrick gets home, he puts his arms around David's waist from behind — David is at the kitchen counter, scooping ice cream, and Patrick gathers him up and noses into the crook of his neck.  "My kids really liked you," he says into David's skin.

"A), don't call them your kids," David says, shuddering, "it gives me flashbacks to your drug-induced baby fever, and B), of course they like me.  I'm a fucking delight."

"They called you my husband," Patrick whispers into the neckline of David's sweater, like it's a secret, and David squirms his way out of Patrick's arms, returning to his gallon of Moose Tracks and ceramic dessert bowls.

"I am your husband," he says in his blandest tone, trying to goad Patrick into explaining himself.

Patrick does.  Because he wants to.  He wants to take this enormous feeling blowing up inside him and see if he can share it with David.  "No one has ever said 'your husband' to me before, though," he says to David's back.  "Knowing it and hearing it are two different things.  And it's like…like someone else saying it proved that this is real.  That this isn't all some extended dream, and I'm going to wake up alone and wanting for you in my bedroom back at Ray's."

David finally turns, handing Patrick a bowl of ice cream, which he accepts easily — he's not much of an emotional eater, unlike David, but he's human, after all.  "Is this what you used to dream about?"  He wants to know.  "Marriage, a white picket fence, coaching Little League?"

"There's no picket fence, and I'm advising the drama club," Patrick says, "but marriage felt more like an expectation before."  He can feel himself blushing before he even gets the word out.  "I didn't start dreaming of marriage until I'd started dating you."

David takes the bowls, still full but for a couple bites, and sets them wordlessly on the counter, then turns to Patrick with fire in his eyes.

Patrick's husband's kisses taste like vanilla and caramel and infinity stretching inward just for them. 

[murderer-at-midnight]

Long answer asks: 3. What's your favourite memory from school? 4. Whats your least favourite memory frol school? 19. Whats sole life advice everyone should know?

Oh shit ok here we go!

3.) favorite memory from school

Ok so I kind of have 3, before the pandemic my middleschool always did a class trip. So in sixth grade we went to Colorado to learn about archeology and a little bit more about Native American history, it was literally so much fun we hiked probably around 100 miles that entire trip, visiting various abandoned cities. I remember during that trip I was rooming with some of my best friends and we had a teacher supervisor in the room as well. And one night our supervisor, whose pajamas were leopard print, comes into the room later in the night, when we were all supposed to be asleep and distinctly remember asking in my sleepy delirious “Senora (she was our Spanish teacher) are you dressed up in a cat suit?” We all laughed so hard. In seventh grade we went to Catalina Island to “study” marine biology. I say study in quotation marks because it was a basically a week long crashcourse, but it was super fun! All of the rooms were big infested which wasn’t so great but, my friend and I shared a bed so it was cozy :]!!!! Then in eight grade we went to Washington DC and surprisingly this was the most tiring trip out of the three. We stayed in a super pretty hotel and the breakfast was always so good, I still remember the hash browns they served :O. Anyways, the entire trip was us just walking around DC costing various historical sites and learning a bit about the political system. To be honest tho nobody was really paying attention, but we went to the international spy museum, the smithsonian, the Holocaust museum, an art museum, we went into the White House, and a few other important government buildings. I can’t remember which one it was but one of the rules of the building was no sleeping and as you can imagine 30 8th graders who had been walking nonstop for the past 4 days it did not go well, lmao we almost got kicked out. The literal next building we went to was the one building that didn’t allow photos and we all fell asleep. We literally got so much freedom that trip it was so much fun, we ended it with like a party on a boat with other classes from different stars it was pretty crazy!

4.) Least favorite memory from school

Oh Jeez ummmm, to be honest I cannot remember anything too too bad, but just one day, also in middle school, I was sick, not like super sick or anything but like the kind of sick where you just feel super sluggish and kinda done with everything around you, you feel? And this girl who I was frenimies with at the time was also not having a good day and my other friend squeezed her Capri sun effectively spilling it all over the table, well my frenimies flips out blaming me because why not you know, anyway to cut a long story short we got into a big fight and I ended up going home early because I just felt worse and didn’t really feel like staying at school anymore.

19.) life advice that everyone should know

Wowie that’s a biggie, I guess this one really depends on the person I’m talking to but since it’s an everyone should know kind of question imma try to keep it accurate but vague you know?

1. “If it makes you happy it’s never a waste of time” you can do things simply for the sake of doing them there doesn’t have to be an end goal in mind. I really liked this tiktok I found about stress and life in general https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeBTwsJL/

2. Also from a tiktok but this one applies to a lot of things but especially people who identify as women. “Don’t feel so much pressure to date, people live to be 100, live your life before you’re given the title of girlfriend, wife or mother, before all that make sure you figure out what makes YOU.” Hopefully I explained that well enough, but I feel like so many people especially now a days feel This immense pressure to follow a socially acceptable time table of romance. Date in high school, fuck around in college, get serious in your mid twenties and get married around 28-30. Companionship is a beautiful thing and if you find the one you find the one but don’t hinder your own growth! Also my own opinion here but I guess this has been the entire thread thus far, a partner should be someone you constantly grow and learn from, this doesn’t even have to be romantically either, you can take away so much from friendships as well. I think as soon as you stop learning and growing from a relationship you no longer need it, and in many cases it can just lead to frustration on both ends of it continues.

3. Jeez I’m really bad at coming up with these on the spot, I really love thinking and talking about these kinds of things and my ask box and messages will always be open if anyone wants to stop by and just talk stuff out! Or like if you have any more specific asks please don’t hesitate to send them my way!

Thank you for the ask <3

[yellow-daddy]

TW/ literally everything 😃

Hate to be this person but I am not a very well man. In the past year I've dealt with some very shit experiences and I am trying to move forward. That being said I can't always be the best 100% of the time. I work in a job where I panic more than everyone there because it gives me dysphoria to no other. I feel as though I have to be perfect all the time to prove myself worthy of all the other men there. I was assaulted because someone couldn't tell what gender I was and have had it been made into a joke that I carry on so everyone thinks I'm funny. Hey he may be trans but hey he's funny about it so he's okay. No one's done or said anything though I'm just very much aware that I'm disgusting. I applied for a job I didn't get this week because I wasn't good enough. At this point I thought I was doing the best I could but even that wasn't good enough. My past haunts me and now more than ever I'm waking up and remembering the hands that struck me and everything in between. Im waking up with my nail prints in my palms from clenching my fists in my actual sleep. I'm with the most amazing and understanding person I've ever met and even still I have 1000000 thoughts that tell me I need to be scared that they're going to cheat or leave or I'm just abusing them like I did everyone else. I want to be a man so so bad but I'm terrified of doing it alone. I need an adult to help me but I am an adult. I want to big but I like being small so I am unseen. But I'm dying to be seen so I'm validated. I want people to realise that even though I don't blast my life on social media, doesn't mean I haven't thought about killing myself everyday for as long as I can remember. The second the rooms silent I look at myself and remember the relief I get from knowing that I'm pulling my weight to essentially punish myself for my failures. I won't, but I want to, but I won't. I need to focus on my job and try to stop the vomit coming into my mouth by the own curdle in my stomach I get from stress. Or maybe try to eat more instead of telling myself that I'm being dramatic and no one else is struggling with it so why should I? Try and not think about making sick just for some fucking control of the vile feeling that I'm going through. Or maybe try and sleep and not sit up all night thinking about how scary it's going to be to talk to my parents when I'm on testosterone. Whether I'll be allowed to see my nephew. Or if people do actually like me or if they slag me off. Do I talk too much? Is the hair okay? Am a joke to everyone else too? I'm a fucking wreck and I've been told I need to leave it at home because no one wants to deal with a sad fucking CJ do they. He's supposed to be funny. Im scared to open my mouth and argue them, I know the customer is always right and I'm trans. The argument isn't even worth having. I can't be sensitive. But fuck me. They don't understand that I want their aproval more than anything and the fact they think I'm weird and childish makes my skin crawl. They blame me for getting overwhelmed and "not let it bother you" but how can I not when everyone's expectations of me are all other the place and I'm not happy at all. I'm supposed to be a supervisor without being a supervisor. A daughter???. A good friend. A good Co worker. A normal working smiley happy citizen who's ignorant to everything. I'm being asked to make everyone happy but you're scraping an empty barrel. I haven't properly cried in months because I resent every vulnerable moment I've had in months because I don't feel as though I'm worthy because I'm a god awful person. I'm a horrible man. As much of a man as I am anyway. I'm holding onto my relationship and praying I or anyone else doesn't mess it up. I find it so hard to vocalise my true emotions but I'm so bottled up I think I might actually snap again. Anyway, this isn't a cry for help it's just a I'm on my last social leg I'm calling out for a bit of patience I guess lmao. Anyway other than that I'm fine lol x

[ichor-and-symbiosis]

Can I vent to you about labs and quarantines? My institute has a policy that only essential personnel can be at work and if your supervisor makes you essential you have to come in. My PI called me and asked me if I wanted to be made essential to start up new experiments and to not feel pressured to say yes. I said I was concerned about exposing my dad, who has lung issues, by going in. Though I do say if does decide to make me essential I will go into lab. He then tells me I’m trying (1/3)

He then tells me I’m trying to blame him if my dad gets sick and he can sick so many different ways other then me going to work. Then he tells me to forget it and hangs up on me mid-sentence. For people who are supposed to be leading and following medical guidance, they don’t seem to care when it effects their research. The research isn’t even essential at all! (2/3)

Again I’m so sorry to rant to you about dumb lab stuff and flood your ask box but this is ridiculous! There is a policy that we aren’t allowed to start new experiments, only maintain ongoing ones and he wants me to break it! I wish people would show more concern (3/3)

Your PI is a goddamn CUNT and if I were you, I would not only leave that lab on the spot for this unprofessionalism, but I would also report this to the head of your department (assuming your PI isn’t the head himself lmao). That is so absolutely infuriating that I’m seeing red. It hits a sore spot because I feel like a shitty employee for not coming in to do research, even though our campus has also shut down labs and the animal facility (you can only continue research that has been ongoing and is time-sensitive). So I understand this disparity between wanting to be productive but feeling like you have to keep your loved ones safe. The fact that he tells you ‘no pressure’ and then PRESSURES YOU with bullshit when your dad is at such high risk? Trash. Throw this cunt away. He doesn’t deserve to be a scientist. 

[hellyeahomeland]

“Deception Indicated”: an HYH recap

[The very final season of this show really does seem the perfect time to kick off a new series on this blog! Over the years I’ve expressed my dislike of recap culture, so I don’t know why I think this is a good idea. But I do! My goal here is to offer something a bit more light-hearted than Director’s Chair, a bit broader than the extremely niche Things Carrie Wore This Week, and much less time-consuming than listening to a 1-hour podcast. Let me know what you think! --Sara]

Our final season opens with Carrie, sleepless in bed, recounting some truly horrific memories of her time in capture. How does one describe this? She screams “not the coat, not the coat!” presumably talking about a straitjacket. She has what I can only describe as an imaginary orgasm, surrounded by wooden figurines to which she whispers, “don’t be scared!” Are we on the set of Girl, Interrupted? I have to believe this is the footage Claire talked about filming in 2018 that never made it into the final cut of “Paean to the People.” It’s all very…. wtf. I really don’t need it in my life.

Carrie has a mini anxiety attack (episode count: 1), because honestly who wouldn’t. She’s in Landstuhl Medical Center. Which is where Brody was before they brought him home in the pilot, and where Quinn was before Saul and Carrie effectively killed him too. ~memories~

Carrie asks for a half of a Lorazepam before returning back to bed. Apparently she’s seen our Twitter bio and feels the same! 

We then get the rarest of Homeland occurrences: a montage! This montage has EVERYTHING! Carrie running, Carrie bun, Carrie getting her blood pressure taken, Carrie wearing an oversize sweater, Carrie going to meet Doug who is not Doug.

Instead it’s some hard ass CIA man Jim, who is Doug’s supervisor, believes Carrie is a Russian agent, and also apparently can’t read her file because he is asking her the same questions she’s already been asked 439 times. Three things:

1) This scene reminds me so much of a point in “Game On,” when Carrie is trying to get out of the psychiatric hospital and does her very best “I’m so grateful and agreeable and kind” act—which is an act, but also not really an act? She declines water, and makes small talk with Jim, and actually attempts a smile.

2) This scene also has a strong callback to the scene in the pilot where Carrie is questioning Brody at Langley. It’s intercut with flashbacks, similar to Brody with Nazir, and most importantly has a defining air of “hmm what is actually going on?”

3) Carrie sighs and sucks in her teeth at least 76 times. I LOVE YOU, CARRIE!!

Carrie is understandably pissed at Jim’s accusations but we don’t sit with that for too long because now we’re in Qatar, with Saul. He is still, for some unknown reason, the National Security Advisor to Beau Bridges. There is a scene where Saul explains what’s going on to a group of journalists and it has so much exposition and information-dumping in it it’s kind of admirable.

I had to watch this twice to understand what was happening but it goes like this: America is helping facilitate peace talks between Afghanistan and the Taliban, because it would really like to get out of Afghanistan after 20 years. But no one really trusts anyone else, and everyone is still pissed at everyone for literally everything that’s happened in the last half century. So yeah, things are going great! And this episode has TWO references to the embassy attack in Islamabad in season four, in case we’d forgotten (how could I ever).

Then the Afghan VP G’ulom  is like FUCK THIS and calls a surprise press conference and says they’ll never agree to giving up Taliban POWs and don’t you know that Afghanistan is a lion? The dude who plays G’ulom has probably the best voice of any actor I’ve ever heard. The way he says “lions” over and over gives me chills.

So now Saul is like, hmmm what do I do?… Oh, I know, my homie Carrie! She’s just the person for this task in a war zone. Also the last time I asked her to do something like this it ended very well for everyone involved.

Saul goes to Germany to say exactly this and Doug and Jim look at him like he’s basically crazy, which he is. But Carrie is all in, but she’s still basically crazy too.

MEANWHILE, Max is also en route to Afghanistan for a mission. That’s right, Max gets his own band of hot Marines this year too! At least one of them looks like he would have been on Friday Night Lights 10 years ago. Mr. FNL thinks the mission is bullshit because it’s very dangerous and he has no idea what’s going on. That makes two of us, Mr. FNL! Also there is a hat.

The next day Carrie is in Kabul, being very Cool Girl with Mike Dunne (good lord I wish his name was Nick Dunne just for funsies), the Kabul Chief of Station. He introduces her to Jenna, who is…. both deer-in-headlights and also trying desperately to be Cool Girl too? This CIA culture is toxic. There is a glorious scene where Jenna is taking Carrie to her room and Carrie is forced to be in an elevator with her and is this the first time Carrie’s been alone with another woman who’s not a blood relative in years? Carrie’s annoyance is palpable. She tells Jenna to stop whining and stop taking no for an answer. The Carrie Mathison way™!

Tasneem smokes a cigarette while waiting for Saul, and it is glorious. I actually screamed! Saul apologizes for his earlier comments blaming her for Americans dying in the Islamabad embassy attack. In true Saul fashion, he uses this as a segue to accuse her of tanking the current peace talks, implying that he needs an “adult” at the table and GOD WHY DON’T YOU JUST WANT PEACE?? Tasneem is like, HOLD UP!!! You left the region when the USSR left, then you came roaring back after 9/11. Also, we fucking live here! We know that if the US leaves now, the Afghan state—WHICH BY THE WAY YOU BUILT—will collapse and the country will enter into a civil war, and all of this is not PEACEFUL the last time I checked. Saul just kind of stares at her, because she’s actually right and he knows it.

Cut to Carrie, doing all of her most “old school” spy tricks, including: something with a dial tone that this millennial does not understand, dressing up as someone else, flicking on lights as some sort of code, exiting through the kitchen, and riding a dusty motorcycle. I know it was a stunt double but Carrie just revealing her ability to ride a motorcycle after 8 years is thrilling. It’s like when she showed up in Tehran in season three with different hair and spoke French fluently.

She goes to meet an old asset, who drives her to meet another old asset, who it turns out is dead. Killed five months ago for being a traitor to the Americans. Carrie has another anxiety attack (episode count: 2) as it dawns on her that she probably gave up his name in the Russian prison.

Back on the Afghan mountains, we finally learn just what the hell Max is doing. It involves a decoy rock that has some sort of computer or listening device under it. Apparently they have no way to tap into Haqqani’s phone and Max is gonna save the day and get that fixed. We have to stan.

Carrie gets back to her hotel room and Mike Dunne is waiting for her, very concerned dad. Doesn’t Mike know Carrie already has a fake dad who feigns concern about her well-being? Their conversation goes something like this: 

Mike: don’t give me that ask for forgiveness, not permission crap!  Carrie: lmao dude, I don’t need your permission. I am here because Saul asked me, no one even knows who you are.  Mike: we have THREE TEAMS looking for you.  Carrie: I could not give fewer fucks.  Mike: ...  Carrie: ...But, by the way, how real is Russian/Taliban cooperation? Like… do they share advisors… or what about intelligence? Say, intelligence given up by former CIA officers while in a Russian prison?

Oh, she leaves that last part out. I’m struck here both by how bad of a liar Carrie is and also how good of a liar she is. She brings up Russia for some unknown reason (doesn’t she know that looks really shady?) and then nods her head, does the “oh, I see” routine, eyes darting… but then comes up with a perfectly believable cover story. There is a strange moment where Carrie and Mike Dunne both sort of agree to drop it and I don’t know why but I had this palpable feeling that there is way more to this relationship from pre-season four days (I guess that means there was a shift from concerned dad to ... something else). After he leaves, Carrie has another panic attack (episode count: 3).

Max and Mr. FNL and the rest of the crew have finally made their way back down the mountain but the hardest part remains. There is an excruciating sequence where, one by one, they make their way across this exposed field. Eventually the Taliban fighters do see them. There are gunshots but somehow, miraculously, they all make it out alive. Mr. FNL says Max is their “frosted lucky charm” and Max only stares at them because the mission? It was actually a success. They’re all up in Haqqani’s comms now.

The next morning, Carrie and Jenna are at the meeting to see G'ulom. Jenna—unwisely!—asks if Carrie is ok. She knows from Mike she was out late last night. Carrie gives a terse “I’m fine” before mentioning, oh by the way you know you’re just gonna wait outside of this meeting like a silly chaperone, right? Did Mike tell you that too? 

Again, she doesn’t actually say this, it’s just coded Carrie language, dripping with passive aggression. I suppose when you’re brought up in a toxic, misogynist work culture, you’re probably trained to believe that every woman who is nice to you just wants something from you. (And Carrie may be right but my God is it amusing/depressing to see Jenna, dejected, plop herself down and sit silently with her hands in her lap.)

Carrie paces and does her trademark Brody finger tapping outside G’ulom’s office… when out walks a Russian delegation. Including one Mr. Yevgeny Gromov. WHO LITERALLY WINKS AT HER. I have to say I find Costa Ronin extremely hot, 75% of that attraction being that he wears a turtleneck 50% of the time. 

His presence sparks a memory in Carrie: he was the one she implored to stay in the Russian prison, to not leave her here (was this a shock to anyone else, or just Carrie). She goes all wide-eyed, starts breathing heavily, and has her fourth panic attack of the episode. Cut to black.

[soosdraws]

Sorry I ranted as well ;;;; But your opinion really resonated with me. Sometimes I think that ignoring the whole ending to Boruto series soothes my mind, which is why I just. Read fanfiction because a lot seem to agree. A lot was pushed. Even the main character's convictions and general character were, sadly. Though, I still love the series. Kishi could've used more- tact, sense, and overall, care (even if he's just a supervisor, he's still there) Anyway same with your rant, have a nice day!

Like for sure. I liked all relationships. But after Kakashi had been made Hokage? You can guarantee there were so many WRONGS that took turn that even haters would notice the error. Naruto’s character became so botched. It felt like smearing his own name with blasphemy. To see him so degraded (shit, wtf is his power? Getting his butt kicked/slow in battle in the Kurama cloak??) I was all for Hokage Naruto but to accompany the story with a family and him obviously shouldering everything? (2)

He ran himself DRY being that Hokage, and he’s just so far off from the person whom we watch grow. Naruto becoming the main defender would be AMAZING to watch. Kakashi still being a Hokage, because dammit we needed more time with that. Or Shikamaru/Sakura. If it was supposed to be Naruto, we could have seen him mature correctly. But Kishimoto said “fuck it” and went with MONEY. POPULARITY. The perfect ending of the series would’ve been Pain arc pushed back. That would’ve been awesome. (3)

Tumblr botched the first part of your ask so I only got these parts, but I agree! Nearing the end of the series, Naruto’s character completely devolved into the fact that he was the ~Child of the Prophecy~ I blame it on the fact that Kishi created antagonists that were impossible for his protags to beat, so instead of focusing on Naruto’s charm, which was his willpower to save his friends and determination to become stronger, he started basing Naruto’s growth on this magical concept of “child of the prophecy” and completely ran the series to the ground. And then he became something entirely else in the next gen, which yeah I completely wish we had more time with Shikamaru or Sakura which um! More valid Hokage candidates. 

And yes, definitely! I wish we could’ve seen more of Kakashi as Hokage. It was such a vague concept that wasn’t explored much at all and I think it would’ve had its good moments that I would’ve wanted to see. Though honestly, Kakashi also deserves the rest the poor, tired man. 

Kishi’s motivator of popularity and money would’ve been okay, if it hadn’t dictated the quality of his series, but lol yeah, I also try to ignore Boruto, Like there’s some aspects I like about it such as Sarada, Mitsuki, Shikadai, and Inojin, but otherwise… no thanks rip 

But yeah I totally get you I love Naruto so much but like the lost potential,,,,  and yeah it’s totally okay. I get really into things when I’m heated about issues lol and then I just ramble forever??? Lmao you have a great day too