#cant see Worth shit
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Honestly the thing about Jason&Bruce for me is that I don't think they can reconsile.
Like even outside of the different moralities and vengeance and the Joker and all of that. Once your father has split your throat open with a knife, that's it. You can't come back from that. There is no reconciliation or forgiveness after something like that is done.
#my dc posting#jason todd#dc#batman#red hood#bruce wayne#and then all the further shit bruce pulls on jason after that#like its just not possible to me. i dont even wanna see it happen bc frankly you cant do it w/o trying ti#justify bruce's abuse#and shit personality frankly#i don't want jason as part of the batfam or for then to get along#like if you want that you gotta do a whole rewrite of everything after jason returns to gotham#like in every relationship there's a point where it's not worth it to try anymore or be around them or give them your energy#and for me that's the batarang tl the throat#once that happens there's no hope for them sorry
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Come back home when you have some sense
You can throw your life away just not at my expense
You’re not the son I raised
#jhariah#this one just rawrrfrrr#and then uh another line thats like ‘tell me did you raise a man?’#nice#im just listening to the new album to cope with nasty sickness and feeling out of it#god this album is really good it has every emotion in there like this song for example just the part where they scream the chorus its like#hnnnghhh#hm some other moments from the album im liking a lot uhhh i love re: concerns a lot#the part where hes like reading off the complaints and then the part where hes just screaming and its like BAM BAM BAM BAAAM#sasuke is so good and the bit at the end where its like ‘i just want you to know im so so...’#like hes gonna say sorry but cant seem to say the word for whatever reason and i know nothing about sasuke#but i has to imagine the fan girlies are eating gravel over that one lol it gets me#and theres just that like spooky echoing afterwards#the intro to fire4fun goes SOOOOOOOO hard i was losing my shit its awesome#the entirety of trust ceremony is giving me big feelings but specifically that part towards the end where its all quiet and you hear#its like whistling i think? like a marching band is coming in maybe#but it also kinda sounds like nature too and idk i like got a little bit um magical at that part cuz i was driving down a big hill#and it had been raining but there was a clearing in the clouds and the sun was bright and like at this particular hill#you can just see everything like the land stretches for miles theres trees hills the river farms all that shit#and idk with the extreme stress and depression ive been feeling its hard to have these moments where life seems worth it#and its hard to really feel anything anymore or to feel in the moment but idk i was just going down that hill seeing everything and it was#very majestic so yeah that song is definitely gonna have the same effect as pin eye for me#which i must mention pin eye again its still OOOOGHH very good it came at a pretty good time for me#yeah basically this album is uhhhh whats keeping me somewhat grounded rn i recommend 👍
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i understand the frustration with “i made this gay pairing cis x trans so they can still have biological babies” with no thought to other methods and how ppl assume thats the case when it comes to mothpool aus where mothwing is also the mother of the three, but also…. idk i kinda dont give a shit if someone wants to do that and i dont really think its inherently transphobic as long as its handled with care and respect.
what really concerns me about this debate is how some people are adamant that you cannot portray trans people having biological children in media or youre being disrespectful. and im gonna say as a nonbinary person who doesnt want children for themself- thats kinda fucking weird? like i understand that for some people, theyre trans themselves and theyre speaking from a place of dysphoria, and i absolutely get that, which is why i think the topic should be handled with nuance and diversity in trans characters, but like…. guys. pregnant trans men exist irl. trans women get people pregnant irl. trans ppl’s ability and right to parent and have biological children are being debated irl. we get denied the opportunity to adopt as well.
in a climate like this, are we SURE we want the stance on rewrites and headcanons in the silly cat books to be “if you portray trans characters having children, especially with a gay couple, youre a transphobic freak no matter what!” does it really matter? especially if its being done by a trans person handling the topic with nuance who has a lot of trans characters with varying perspectives?
obviously yes, remember that thats not the only way certain gay couples can have kids, remember that not every trans person is fully comfortable with it and keep that in mind, remember that surrogacy and adoption are also perfectly valid ways to give fan babies- but remember that there are OPTIONS. not that you need to condemn the idea of transgender parents in the first place unless they fit the very specific criteria of “proper transgender representation” and anything that dares deviate from that is proof the op is a transphobic monster (bonus points if theyre a trans creator bc i mostly see trans people getting shit for this and it kinda pisses me off. although idm if cis people do it either as long as theyre handling it with respect)
#and this isnt getting into how trans mothwing outside of mothpool is a really good way to read her character#sorry. remembered the shit bonefall got despite being trans as well and got annoyed#that especially annoys me bc hes got plenty of surrogacies but the second hed touch a trans pregnancy#‘’no you cant do that!!! you freak!!! obviously you only see trans people as a loophole for gays to have babies!!!’’#also my gf and i were talking and obviously take this with a grain of salt bc this is our experience#but…. i think a lot of the ppl saying this……. havent really talked to trans women?#dude some of the ones i know LOVE the idea of getting people pregnant#did you know trans women have sex? did you know trans people in general have sex?? did you know trans people irl wanna start families?#did you know that? did you? or do you black out at the idea of a trans woman being anything but strictly pure and nonsexual#and OBVIOUSLY this is not every trans woman. some do have dysphoria around the idea#but im genuinely starting to wonder how these people act around irl transgender parents#whether they had kids before or after coming out#bc ngl. the attitude that thinking about this makes you a transphobic pervert?#directed at trans people making content for themselves?#im starting to think you all just dont want us to reproduce. if we reproduce we arent ‘’good’’ trans people#because a ‘’real’’ man wouldnt carry a child. a ‘’real’’ woman would carry the child. and god forbid the gays even THINK about reproducing#and being around children!#if we have children then we’re doing things that might make cishets look at us and declare we’re not perfect#we’ve proved we’re not just identical to cis ppl!! (and therefore deserving of respect!)#idk. i think this was mostly a case of tumblr going ‘’oh someone said no to this so lets push this to an unhealthy extreme!!’’#and i cant help but notice nobody really brings up nonbinary parents at all in this discussion#not that we have it ‘’better’’ or anything for that but yknow. are we supposed to swear it off?#is the idea of us having kids inconcievable? or worse…. does it mean we ‘’picked a side?’’#so its not even worth getting mad at a pregnant nb person bc ‘’well thats a woman so who cares’’b#HMMMMM.#ohhhh i bet they also get mad if you make transfem pregnancy possible too. no winning#idk really think about it when you go ‘’you can NEVER EVER portray a trans person starting a family. bc REAL trans people would never.’’#ohhh you probably get mad when trans ppl dont get surgery for one reason or another dontcha#whether we want to or its not in the cards for us for whatever reason like cost and such#(while also getting mad if we do bc we cannot win in this no matter what)
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"The improvement isn't significant enough for advertising to be able to convey that it's so much better you should definitely spend money on it even if you played the original" isn't the winning argument a bizarre number of graphics-obsessed gamers think it is
#Like if you have to say 'no no you cant TELL that its better without spending nonrefundable money to buy it the adverts aren't accurate'#That is not actually an argument for 'this is so much better it justifies buying another copy' lol#That is an argument for 'its only worth it if you haven't played it or you're obsessed with it and want every iteration'#For the record i don't give a shit if u want to spend money on a remaster like that#Stars know i have games i have too many copies of myself#My issue is the people getting downright combative about anybody who expresses#'Nah this wasn't something i felt was needed and i see no point in buying it so im gonna skip it'#Anyway if you have to get defensive over gamers who aren't impressed by graphics maybe you should turn the games off and touch grass
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Well i think we ALL should be threatening not to vote for Harris if she doesnt call for an arms embargo. Id say ceasfire but lets be real
I think we ALL should be putting our effort into applying pressure on ending a genocide, rather than pressuring people to vote for someone who not only seems to be going back on policies she said she stood for, but is also not proving she will actually do anything on the situation in Palestine
The voting hasnt happened. You can't get mad at people for AT LEAST threatening to not vote for her. Threatening. As in, no one has voted yet. So it's all talk right now.
If people dont end up vote for Harris it will be her own fault. Thats just how it works. What she says, but more importantly what she does, is what makes people vote for her just like any other candidate
we arent even asking that much. At the VERY least, is to stop sending weapons. 1 thing she and biden are capable of doing but have shown having no plans on even considering it.
Now, I dont know what im doing when it comes to voting bc theres a lot that can happen until then. im not thinking of what im going to do, im focused on helping to apply pressure. Ive sent emails and called. But even just talking about it can help.
Yes, if Trump wins it IS worse, beyond Palestine. For the planet, and everyone.
But the fact is that some people will not vote for her. That is a fact.
Another Fact is some people will vote for her only if they feel confident she will actually do something about the genocide.
These are facts. You don't even need a source for that
Why are you wasting your time on people who wont vote, instead of convincing the Hold Voters to vote for Kamala by making Kamala someone they will want to vote for?
WE arent dividing the vote. SHE is.
Worry about the blame game for after the election.
For now, help us get her to agree that the United states will stop sending weapons to Israel and/or keep the halt (of weapons), if by some miracle biden gets something done.
#palestine#israel#kamala harris#donald trump#vote uncommitted#us elections#I am in a MOOD and will block zionists and anyone who annoys me#mostly ill let whatever play out in the comments if anyone sees this#bc i finally fucking get it#i was so scared of projrct 2025. i knew trump was technically worse. but i thought strategically its best vote harris#but then thr dnc came out. and at first i felt hopeful. like really confident. that she is going to win#and though i was mad bc up ubtil this point there wasnt much she has said on gaza that felt worth anything#and just. the fact she didnt let a palestinian american speak a deleget. with a bunch of info popping up#on shit shes going back on like fracking and adding more police and wtvr other stuff i cant think rn#like before that i was still on the fence on some stuff like thr term Blue Maga i thought might be a stretch though ive seen it before#like the 4 more years chant for biden. but after not letting the Palestinian deleget talk was like. it was so fucking crushing#and i heard the speech it would have been perfect all the fucking liberals in that place. like i fucking get it#like i didnt like her before but now like...i see why someone would not want to vote for her even with trump being worse. again idk what ill#do. like shes only a shade different from trump when i look at her. like politically. anyway yeah I get how people will vote means nothing#rn. its not even important. its not. bc if we want people to vote the way we want we need to convince them to vote by making the candidate#worth fucking voting for even in the face of a possible dictatorship. and we arent asking for much. we arent asking to move mountains.#just to at LEAST stop sending weapons
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screenshot redraw of everyone’s favourite hacker!! i may have gone a little overboard with the neon, haha. do i regret it though? not at all.
#my art#art#digital art#finished art#fanart#carmen sandiego netflix#carmen sandiego player#carmen sandiego fanart#carmen sandiego#carmen sandiego 2019#carmen sandeigo#cs player#cs player fanart#player#player bouchard#player bouchard fanart#carmen sandiego season 4#screenshot redraw#screencap redraw#screencap#screenshot#redraw#this screenshot redraw made me realise just how different the player in my head is to the player in canon. huh#also for those who cant see the picture on their shirt its supposed to be a pic of 6arelyhumans profile pic :3#i apologise for the shit quality i genuinely don’t know what happened there. ill try to correct it next time i do a redraw#listen i think theyd get bullied by people in a higher grade then them. but the people in their grade would be OBSESSED with them#my boy introduced themself as player and then like. 2 thousand dollars worth of electronics started ringing in their bag#the people in their class would have a conspiracy gc about them you cannot convince me otherwise. theyre the school cryptid#anyway enough rambling#enjoy the burnt food
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mtt playing poker but why would they bet with money thats soooo boring boo boo boo no they bet with increasingly worse and concerning things and its fun for some reason
oh theyd LOVE that shit istg. luck and bluff and tells and lies??? god who knows your own lies and deceit better than another version of yourself??? and yet picking up the other two's tells is oh so very hard because theyre not the same anymore than when they were all sans and sometimes they dont even know themselves so how could they pick up on a mirrored version's? it works out a lot more than they think
killer would have no disregard for what he bets. he plays unpredictably and sneakily. probably faking some emotion here and there to get the hasty (horror) confused and concerned about what he could do and then it turns out killer had a fucking ass hand yet he won??? BULLSHIT horror cries out!!!! but dust just picks up the cards on the ground and deals them again and they play another round. sometimes killer purposely loses. why? he dont know its just to throw a wild card into dust and horror's predictions and mayhaps for the reactions
dust is a dirty player he is a fucking CHEATER‼️‼️‼️ phantom paps are his eyes that he uses to spy on killer and horror's hands. would he need to even try anymore at that point when he could easily win every round? well yes because that wouldn't be a fun game and dust wants to have as much fun as he can in this game of lies. he pretends he doesn't know what horror and killer's hands are. they both know. theyre both more than aware of dust's cheating. and that's why their betting starts going against him specifically and then dust has to figure out how to bet them higher while also trying not to fuck himself over
horror's main thing is just to not get fucked over. goddamnit why did he agree to this he's not as open to getting hurt than dust or killer are!!! (but you still agreed anyways?) so he thinks he's the only one to have a real reason to win (because horror no wanna get hurty hurty owww owww painpainpain ouch!!!) maybe he gets too cocky and ends up betting too high because dust or killer had been losing and he wanted to take a chance. maybe that high bet was actually what got him to win?? it's all a game of chance of course and horror'll only show what he thinks after the round's done. when the cards are dealt and the stakes are up he'll just analyze the hell out of the two (don't YOU hate being analyzed??) and tap his fingers on the table over and over
their way of betting would be like: the winner gets to do whatever the other two said as their bets to the betters. like if dust loses and horror wins and he said he could get sucker punched horror is sucker punching the FUCK out of him. but these three argue they fight and bicker and throw gibes and taunts!!! how would they ever agree on what bets are higher and which are lower ⁉️⁉️⁉️ to horror a bet of saying that he'd have to eat something could be like straight hell to him but killer and dust could just put the argument that it doesn't REALLY mean that much (they know it does to horror) and then force him to bet higher because cmon coward you can do better than that!!! dont you want to get some sort of revenge on us if you lose a previous round and win this one??? and other forms of logic like that 4 dust and killer
killer starts off with an absurdly high bet (because he would) like getting to mess with his soul or something. is he sure that dust and horror have losing hands? he doesn't know. and because killer has no form of limit for himself and that's already a high bar to set for dust and horror to reach (if they don't have good hands i think they'd probably want killer to bet lower. but would they tell him??) so damn it horror has to pull out some bullshit fucking bet like he'll allow himself to get hunted down by the two with every trap he's ever set on a human in horrortale (sooo much more psychological thinking and trickery going on without betting money and instead scenarios its SO FUN). and then could dust fold? does phantom paps say he should? it depends on the cards dust has (and what if he doesn't believe paps based on his own assumptions? (paranoid bitch)) and if he can't fold he has to match the bet or go higher and then he comes up with some bogus situation like ok i'll let you guys dress me up in my human's clothes and throw me in an au and have to do what they did (and OH GOD what about if they make a bet that the other 2 wouldn't actually want to do if they win??? if killer won that round with that as dust's bet would he want someone to reenact something similar to what his own human did and have to watch??????)
oops they just got another new set of scars from last week's poker night and another layer of trauma but why the hell are they sitting down at the table again??? idk man i'm just the dealer here trying not to get killed
#keep in mind i dont know a damn thing about poker ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️#they match eachother's freak#guys gambling is bad just know that. the trio gamble with eachother 100% every interaction is a gamble#gambling is so them i will not lie. everything about them is so gambling coded. casino trio#its addicting and also something they hate. something that represents the worst trait of them that the indulge each time they interact#and yet the pull is there and its fun in the moment and there are moments where taking the gamble was worth it and they dont hate eachother#but the losses always overshadow the wins and just staying addicted isnt helping them at all. but addictions are hard#and theres still some more to win so for the time being why not bet all you have and give everything up to the other two?#UGHHH THIS IDEA IS SO FUN AND AMAZING I NEED THEM TO BECOME REAL SO I CAN WITNESS THIS#I DONT KNOW HOW TO DEAL CARDS OR HOW TO BE A DEALER BUT ID LEARN JUST FOR THIS SIGHT I WOULD I WILL IM GONNA no im not BUT STILL#can people actually turn into the mtt and try to reenact this because i actually would kill to see this sight live#worlds best poker game dare i say. the stakes are HIGH dare i say HIGH!!!!!#now dont forget about the other factors like previous rounds or sudden impulses or selfish goals or current moods#GOD EVERY NIGHT WOULD BE SO MUCH FUN. i can understand the appeal of why they would keep playing even after all that#non violent bets. violent bets. bets of revenge bets to make motivations. the world is their oyster#this form of the trio's poker would be just a massive free for all of pushing boundaries and it all depends on luck#kist has russian roulette. horrorkiller has the knife game. mttpoly has trio poker. WHAT DOES HORRORDUST HAVE#you cant come up with terrible for themselves and eachother poker and put anybody but the trio in it#maybe nightmare's the dealer but tell me a single other utmv character that would play this???? NONE I SAY NONE!!!!!!#mtt are great bc their fanon nicer versions are so popular that i dont feel like shit when i either make them nice or evil#and eitherway canon or fanon their interactions are so much more interesting than anyone elses :333#the stars aligned three days ago and created three characters so perfect with eachother yet so terrible for eachother#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#sans au#utmv#bad sanses#tricule hc
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abt to say smthng deranged
but ive reverted to accepting my fate here especially since im really really lazy and stupid and just want to draw but the only sharp thing still poking at my sides is wanting to transition and how I know as soon as my birthday rolls around I'll wish I had done anything to get out and start that, while sobbing hysterically over how the years just keep passing me by in that regard. 14 years. 15 years. And many many more.
But at the same time its like. I wouldnt want to claw my way out solely to transition (which at this point would be the sole positive thing about leaving). Because whats the point. I want to be transitioned before I really look for or accept love, yes, but moving out and doing so wouldn't lead to that I dont think. Id be living the same life im living here, but Worse and more exhausting. So i also dont see the worth in fighting to do it.
I feel those 2 views are at odds, but, like, its never enough to do things just for myself even if I really need it. It always has to be in relation to someone else. There would not be a someone else so why bother. Im not finding love while I live here so it doesn't Really matter if i cant do it, but this wouldnt change if i left so why would I fight for it. Why be the true version of me if I have nobody to share Me with (especially considering it will ostracize me from most everyone else I love.) I dont know
#i feel this doesnt make sense but idk#its like how i would not have gotten a car at all if it wasnt for Someone i wanted to be able to drive around#if they visited#its the same here. i feel so incomplete without transition and my life cant begin without it#if anyone took interest in me now it would feel hollow until i was actually myself#but nobody is taking interest Now#and if i moved out solely to transition its not like changing locations would suddenly change anything.#so why bother. why do it. its going to be the same anyway#why make my life harder for no reason#why decorate a place you'll always have to leave why deep clean a home nobody will ever visit but You.#theres no point if its just You.#thsi also extends to a lot of things like how i want to paint but cant unless its for someone else#ill draw a billion characters Standing There for a friend before i do 1 for myself bc i dont see the point or Worth#delete later#it was a horrendous experience overall but id never been more motivated to do something than when i had a ''partner''...#nothing made me more willing to turn my entire life around. ill go back to school and study some miserable shit that#will make me rich so I can spend it on You and make You happy. i would not do this for myself.#im not doing anything for myself right now. no use in doing anything for that guy he doesnt deserve it
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reading a single tf comedy fic will confront u with the authors viewpoints on: heads of military, heads of state, stance on revolutionary politics, reporters, freedom of the press, cops, class stigmatized labour, civilian liberties, criminalized... miscreantism? blows big breath kicks can down the road... minorities?
#some shit#its not called cisformers#there indeed could be a use case where i said all this and was saying it in a positive tone.#reader: i am not#i gotta stop opening links from tumblr the reccs just arent worth it#groans. why are you guys so fucking authoritarian. dont u wanna watch animated or smth with me. cant we have fun.#honestly the amount of times i see like. evil/nuisance reporters is bizarre. like oh well sure I KNOW corporate news media just washes the#hands of the state. but.... somehow i feel thats not your angle. given. who the mains always are#also: every time im forced to defend an iteration that actually isnt that good but at least has concepts more interesting and thought out#than ave. fandom. fan fic of other fanfic. world states. sighhhhhh#its a lot of bitching i know i know listen. only cause im out here on my lonesome on this beautiful thrusday morning alright. its fine.#theres are the facts of the. online space i choose to spend time in.... :/ god help me
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oc art of most fucked up polycule ever
#digital art#mine#my art#doodle#oc#uleeved#naimanzuunnadintsetseg#tzihuacxochitl#i swear ill post proper art soon#im just occupied with zine work mostly#and i cant share those yet#but expect ot see a miki#a rana#a defoko#and an adachi rei#i swear the wait will be worth it#maybe#anyway i hope yous like my little shits
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sorry to be a hater but like the songs in hazbin are so like. badly written its insane
#i CANNOT live to see another loser baby cover its like actually bad. it like actually sucks#like all of hazbins songs are carried EXCLUSIVELY by their cast and its no exception#again like no hate upon the cast theyre all real good at what they do but a good vocal performance is only worth so much#it cant save you from a song thats actual ass#and like#I LIKE BAD MUSIC#i really do like poorly written shit#but.... its like actually frustrating over here#aethers rants
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was filling up a pot with water for my pasta when I had a vision so horrible that I cursed my family for the next few generations just by existing prior to this thought striking me
also I forgot that copia isnt canonically aroace so just ignore that for now please and thank you
#no god could gaze upon me and find me worth loving when they see what my brain is capable of#this shit made me almost drop the pot when it appeared in my head#like it was so violent that it made me recoil#anyways#venn diagram#shitpost#shitty diagram#deadpool#simon ghost riley#cardinal copia#call of duty#ghost band#character comparison#also if I got anything wrong about ghost. I dont care I was barely remembering him to begin with and also I just. I just cant with CoD
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less a continuation and more of a thought bubble but ghost would hate price in this au
when he pulls him out of the gulag, so many of soap’s new behaviours click into place. things that never made sense to him as a natural progression of who soap was, that aren't just a product of walling himself off and turning his heart to stone
his soap never smoked. always complained when ghost lit up about the damage it did to the lungs, how it would slow him down in the long run
his john, always trying to be the best soldier
that's why seeing him suck on a cigar like it's second nature is so jarring. even more so when he'd only take a few puffs; enough for a taste and to make smoke coil through the air around him. always the same brand, always left to burn down in his fingers
then ghost sees him gift his cigar box to price, something that took pride of place on his desk practically before the man clears medical and seeing the way they both relax as he sets a match to one makes him realise
in an effort to run away from soap, john had tried to mould himself into price
god forbid ghost ever reads soap's journal. he's heard the "what the hell kind of name is soap” story from him, of the first time he'd ever met the captain and if he ever saw his words echoed in john's hand? saw just how far the man had wormed his way, so deep into him that he was speaking with his tongue?
price's monologues, making himself larger than life all in an effort to make this shitstorm feel more grand than just another war they're all trying to live through, acting like he’s being profound when he’s really just dodging anyone that questions him
letting price take roach out from under his wing like soap didn't identify with the kid the second he saw him, all of his self-deprecative habits hitting tenfold as he blames himself for every stray bullet; as if price could've plucked them from the very sky
the way soap steps back without a word of protest to let price command the team he handpicked and price just accepting? like his years of leadership mean nothing, like john means nothing after trying so hard to follow in his footsteps, just to be tossed aside
the rage ghost would feel at his indifference, as if soap’s behaviour is to be expected and not a series of red flags. add the nuke mission and his actions during and after shepherd’s betrayal? ghost would despise him
#this instalment brought to you by mactavishs journal bc holy shit#his obsessive hyper perfectionism is heartbreaking#he sees literally everything as his fault#every failure every mistake every accident he always looks for something he couldve done better#then increases his training to /make/ himsef better#the way he sees himself in roach and wants to help him become a better soldier like price did for him#only to immediately give him to price bc who better to turn him into a better soldier than price#there is so much characterisation in this thing and it blows my mind that it wasnt an ingame easter egg you could find and read#its an actual journal you could buy#it completely changes his dynamic with price from mentor and mentee to this godlike hero worship#and ghost finding out that soaps changed himself so much for this insane guy who almost nuked america?#that he cant see beyond his thirst for vengeance that soap would do literally anything for him#the shepherd betrayal and prices ‘you have to trust someone to be betrayed. i never did’ and you never thought to warn soap??#the rest of the 141 you can understand but hes so callous in that scene#and since ghost and roach live through it i just know ghost would go apeshit for treating soap like hes not worth the dirt under his boots#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#talk to me ghost#09 soapghost#09 soap#09 ghost#captain mactavish#ghoap#soapghost#ghostsoap#cod mw2#ghost cod#soap cod#captain price#we’re a team. ghost team#save post
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yk what it was never that serious oh my god
#im good i think !!! my mood swings are !!! all over the place but actually yk everything pasess and time passes and hurt passes and there's#so so much more than this there's more than all of this and it was good before it will be good life doesn't just stop its fucking shit and#hell rn and it sucks that things could've been better and it sucks how unfair this all is but actually#crying over someone who wasnt talking to me for months is not actually that worth and god i am genuinely terrified that ill never love agai#and i really think i won't i think he was my person but tbh that was fucked like that was actually fucked up a lot of that was just hurting#and ik we both hurt each other a lot and ill never blame him and it will SUCK to see him again next year but ill be okay and everything e#will be okay i just need to meet and go out with more ppl and rmmbr that theres more to life than this shitty house and my shitty parents#and ill always love him and i cried over him so so much already but it is true that we had to have started moving on from it all at some#point i just truly believed wed like weather this together and im so disappointed at being left alone like this and i did rlly wish hed#stay but yk it can only really get better from here and whatever i loved him so so much but it's okay itll be okay#i need to live long enough to move out get a haircut a banging sexy ass bass and a cat so yk cant go anywhere until that happens
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Plotted out the last scene so I could leech off the late night sleep deprivation thoughts for it (it'll make sense Why that's good when u guys see it). Saving the actual writing for the morning tho.
You guys will see. I think this chapter will be worth the wait. At least somewhat.
#speculation nation#itnl shit#maybe not worth a 6 month wait but oh well beggars cant be choosers etc etc#anyways. with the scene fully plotted out & me just needing to fill out the prose#this has increased the chances of the Within A Day itnl update.#it's so close to being realized. i seem to have finally broken out of my writer's block. and i am so fucking pumped.#the only reason im not writing it rn is bc im tired and it wouldnt be good hfkshfkd#im at like 4k ish words done rn. this last scene will probably put it at Least 6k. maybe more. we'll see!!!!#Be Excited. itnl update is Soon.
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For me, I'm one of the ones who knows some of the things that shouldn't be done (don't mention his appearance, don't make references to stardom, washed up celebrities, religious imagery, puppets, loss, fortune, loss of fortune) and I still slip up.
My running theory is that I'm not used to seeing an askbox that isn't just a race to see who can get the largest emotional reaction (and the cool dramatic art that comes with it). There isn't a lot of experience to draw off of that isn't going to extremes.
Ahhgh,, yeah, i think thats whats happening for /everyone/,, me included... I kinda have to hold back on doing those all the time even though theyre so fun... womp.. You CAN mention some of those things, though!! Puppets/his appearance obv not, losing everything..also /maybe/ not.. but i think depending on what is said/how its said the others may work n be interesting. (except for a whole lot of religious imagery,,* ill add stuff in my tags i dont want this part to be long lol) I think also its just a different way of using the askbox compared to regular which also throws everyone off.
#*two reasons#One: i think it would be neat if his perception and understanding of god/religion is derived from the media addisons consume to better adve#advertise.. in his case.. scam people. iirc religion is one of the things used in email scams to get to people and make them feel#like they are obligated too otherwise they are sinful#And i feel a lot of their understanding isnt TRUE because its from an outside perspective#they dont have the same goals and the same way of living#theyre programs#programmed (primarily) to do their purpose and do it successfully#i dont know how deep things like that for them go#They see praying to god = prayer comes true or some other variation#from tv n shit a lot im sure#Which would mean praying to god gets you things or smth#not really fleshed out#which brings me to two:#im not religous and i never have been so i dont really understand a whole lot and i dont think i ever will because of it so i cant go far#with that very much. just. hollow things.#ALSO ALSO if i figure out how to write it im sure he'd blab about how great he was#you can say stuff ab his bs era cause im sure he glorifies it in his head far more than its worth because of where hes at
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