#cashew talks nuts

[immagoudaboi]

YET ANOTHER LEVIHAN PANDART

you guys have NO IDEA HOW LONG THIS TOOK!!!! figuring out the logistics of MS paint is a nightmare! but I decided to finish it up to add to my collection hehe so here you guys go, yet another addition to my ms paint panda!levihan au

courtesy of @wyvernslovecake 's quote here

thank you to @mello-jello for sending me this quote!

And a big fluff you to tumblr for making all the images look fuzzy 😶

I hope you guys enjoy this lil thing

[enevera]

second day of work and i am having an allergic reaction to a very nice smoothie my boss made this is actually rlly sad sjjsjsb

[earmo-imni]

I think I may have developed an allergy to pecans :(

[stylesharrys]

special brownies [weedrry]

summary: harry and y/n accidentally eat their roommates special brownies.

warnings: mentions and use of weed (edibles), being high, swearing, kissing, biting, unprotected sex, bit of dirty talk.

word count: 2,396

a/n: i came up with this idea very randomly and i have written it as fast as i possibly could lmao anyway, the whole thing is about accidentally getting stoned, so if that makes you uncomfortable, please don't read! if it doesn't, enjoy <333

//

It’s been a long week and Y/N is feeling it. Between classes and shifts at the cafe, her feet are sore and her mind is tired. She wants nothing more than to cuddle up on the sofa with a good tv show and pass the fuck out.

And tonight is supposed to be her lucky night. Tom has a night shift and Harry has a hot date. No boys, no roommates, no interruptions.

There’s just something about knowing she’s got the flat to herself all night long, and she can lounge about like the lazy girlie her heart yearns to be.

She starts with a long, relaxing her aching body in the hot soapy water until her skin begins to prune. Y/N takes extra time to moisturise her body and brush her hair. Even treats herself to a face mask while she does so.

When she leaves the bathroom, it’s almost 7 p.m. and Tom has already left for work. The apartment is clean, and most importantly, quiet.

She’s a bit too excited in her movement to the sofa, a squeal slipping from her lips. Too caught up in her head, she doesn’t notice Harry leaning against his bedroom door, arms folded across his chest.

It’s not until he clears his throat that Y/N jumps out of her little happy dance with a scream. A smirk sits on his lips, amused by the way she scowls at him.

“What the hell are you doing here! You’re supposed to be out on a date!”

Her tone is accusing, pointer finger jabbing at the air in his direction. She notices his attire; grey shorts and a white hoodie. Y/N’s shoulders slump.

“You have got to be kidding me,” she huffs.

“What? I thought you liked hanging out with me?” Harry follows her to the sofa, sitting on  the opposite end of her.

Y/N crosses her arms furiously. “I do! But I was so excited to have the flat to myself for just one night.”

Harry’s brows are raised suggestively, that sick fucking smirk on his lips again. Y/N lunges a pillow at his face. “Not for those reasons, you perv.”

He barks out a laugh, hugging the pillow close to his chest as he props his feet up and on Y/N’s lap. He watches how her bottom lip pouts out and his face softens.

“Look, if you want me to fuck off out for the evening, I can.” Harry offers.

She scoffs. “That is what you were supposed to be doing.” A moment of silence passes and she sighs. “Sorry, that came out rude. I'm not about to kick you out of your own flat – though I am going to force you to watch the last three episodes of The Rookie with me.”

Harry makes no attempt to hide the groan that follows her words. It’s not that he doesn’t like the show, it’s that he hates the show. He’ll never understand Y/N’s weird obsession with emergency services.

First, it was Criminal Minds, then a month later she binge watched 9-1-1 Lone Star in six days. Now she’s on the newest season of The Rookie and he’s sure she only started season one at the beginning of the month?

“Do we have to?” he grumbles.

Y/N throws another pillow at him. “Yes. You’re the one interrupting my night, you could at least do it quietly… and with snacks.”

Her voice trails off at the end of her sentence and Harry has to bite back a grin. She could never be mad at Harry, she loves him and his company far too much. Tom, on the other hand… yeah, she would definitely be mad if it was him crashing her lazy girl night.

Harry stands from the sofa, wandering through to the kitchen. He grabs two bottles of water in one hand and scans his eyes through the cupboards in search for a suitable snack.

They’ve not been shopping for a few days, so there’s only some dry crackers, a half-eaten bag of cashew nuts (ew, Tom), and granola. Harry contemplates ubering some cookies and milkshakes when his eyes land on a bakery box on top of the microwave.

He squints as he reads the writing on the top of the box.

Tom’s. DO NOT EAT!

Harry flips the lid, six thick slices of dewey chocolate brownies. They’re like fucking slabs… he’s sure Tom won’t mind if he and Y/N share just one between them.

He pops a (massive) slice on a plate and toddles back to the kitchen. The show is paused on the opening scene, Y/N shuffled to get comfortable on the sofa. She raises a brow at the snack in question.

“We’re sharing a brownie?”

Harry huffs as he sits. “S’all we’ve got in the kitchen, and they’re Tom’s. Didn’t wanna take the piss when his little sticky note clearly says DO NOT TOUCH!”

Y/N snorts, breaking the brownie in half and handing Harry the bigger slice. She takes a bite, face screwing slightly.

“These taste a little funny… nutmeg, maybe?”

She turns to Harry who doesn’t say anything and still hasn’t taken the brownie. The look on his face irks her. She huffs, swallowing. “I feel bad that your date cancelled on you.”

His eyebrows almost raise to his hairline. “And what makes you think she was the one to cancel?”

“Was she?” Y/N asks.

Harry takes the brownie with a sigh. “Yeah.”

//

They can’t stop fucking giggling.

The show is long forgotten about, has been for the past thirty minutes. They’re both feeling warm. Harry stripped from his jumper and Y/N changed into some little shorts and one of Harry’s baggy t-shirts.

Neither of them know where this amusement came from, but there is absolutely no calming either of them down. They’re sneakily sharing a second slice of Tom’s brownies; eyes on the door in case for some reason, he comes home an hour after his shift has started.

“They taste so weird, but I can’t stop eating it.”

Harry chokes out a laugh, eyes welling with tears because he just finds Y/N so fucking funny tonight.

She’s a mess too, eyes squinted and shoulders hunched as she laughs uncontrollably. They’re both crossed-legged on the living room floor, knees knocking gently.

The more she chews, the more she begins to recognise that unfamiliar taste… the way it lingers on her tongue. Her laughter slows for a moment, as if realisation is beginning to dawn on her.

She stares at Harry with wide eyes and parted lips, mouth still full.

“Oh, my god.”

“What?”

“They’re fucking weed brownies!”

Harry can’t breathe, struggles to look away from the fear and shock on Y/N’s face. His whole body begins to shake with laughter and Y/N finds herself following.

“Harry, it’s not funny!” she shrieks. “This is so bad, Harry.”

She’s laughing through her words. Even she can’t take herself seriously in this state.

“D’you wanna play Just Dance?”

Harry’s words only make her laugh harder. The remainder of her brownie is thrown at his naked torso. Harry wastes no time to tackle her to the ground, hovering between her legs as he tickles her sides.

He's blowing raspberries on her neck, eliciting loud cackles from her mouth. Y/N tugs at his hair, her legs flailing around his hips when he nips at the skin on her throat.

They don’t say anything. She continues to chuckle, and Harry continues to bite.

Their laughter has fizzled out into breathy giggles. Neither of them are sure when Harry’s bites turned into kisses. When their fingers became intertwined. When her legs closed around his middle.

And neither of them say a fucking thing about it.

Harry’s lips travel up her neck and across her jaw. She finds his mouth feverishly, nothing but tongue and teeth but to the pair of them, it’s the best kiss they’ve ever had.

They’re needy, hot and wanton all of a sudden. Like a switch has been flipped and they’re clinging to one another like lifelines.

Harry holds her hands above her head, fingers tangled. He’s hard, rock hard. Pressing into Y/N’s tiny fucking shorts so much he’s sure he can feel her arousal through both of their clothes.

He ruts against her, testing the waters. The moan he receives sends all blood down south. He’s always known sex to be incredible when you’re high. The thought of him sharing it with her? God, he could bust there and then.

He releases her hands so he can feel up her thighs, skin hot and smooth. Their lips don’t separate, not once. She lets her hands fall into his curls, nails scratching at his scalp and she tugs at the roots.

Harry’s moaning into her mouth, eager and desperate for more. He takes her shorts off quickly and strategically. So quickly that she doesn’t notice until she feels a cool breeze between her thighs.

Y/N’s eyes roll to the back of her head, more than ready for whatever the fuck he wants to do to her.

They haven’t hesitated, not once. Not until Harry's hands are at the waistband of his shorts and he wonders if he should grab a condom or just go down on her. He knows she’s on the pill, just like they both know they’re both clean.

Harry gets tested once a month and Y/N doesn’t sleep around.

She answers his inner turmoil for him and tugs his shorts down the best she can. Harry breaks the kiss for a split second to tug his shorts to his knees. He’s back to kissing her as quickly as he pulled away, tongue against hers. Hot and messy.

Y/N feels his tip twitch against her clit, an airy sigh echoing into Harry’s mouth. He lets his fingers swirl around her wetness, smearing it across her smooth cunt and coating his thick shaft in her arousal.

They’re panting messes, eager, desperate and horny.

When he lines himself at her entrance, she locks her legs around his waist. Harry bumps forward, a shrill cry slipping from between their lips at the sensation of one another.

Harry wants to give her a moment to adjust, but Y/N doesn’t. She wants it hot and hard. She wants the pain. She wants to feel every fucking inch of him.

She probably should’ve warned Harry how she gets when she’s high. How much of a whiny, cock-hungry whore she can become. Then again, how was she supposed to know they’d accidentally eat their roommates special brownies?

“Jesus fucking Christ.” Harry chokes as he bottoms out.

Y/N’s struggling to catch her breath but she’s never loved the burn in her lungs more. “Fuck me, H.”

He twitches inside her. “Fuck me hard.”

His hips begin to roll, cock nuzzling itself deep inside her. He can feel everything. Every bump, dip, swell. God, she’s fucking soaked, leaking down to the floor but neither of them care.

Harry slowly begins to quicken his pace, arms bent at the elbows either side of Y/N’s head to prop himself up. She doesn’t loosen her legs around his hips. She needs him as close as he can possibly get.

Even his cock buried to the brim in her cunt isn’t enough. She needs his soul touching hers.

“You’re so fucking tight.”

“Yeah?” she breathes. “You gonna fuck my tight cunt, baby? Fuck me like you own me.”

He can’t believe his fucking ears. He’s always found Y/N attractive, but never in his wildest fucking dreams did he expect her to be this goddamn filthy.

Harry loves it.

His thrusts grow harsher. She has no time to catch her breath between hits, her mouth in a constant state of slack – eyes rolled back and eyebrows pinched.

“My perfect little cunt.” Harry seethes.

The noises of her pussy are like electric waves in Harry’s ears. He feels them in his soul, like sparks and jolts. He’s never felt more alive.

He’s fucking into her manically. Behind closed eyes all he can see shapes and colours of need and desire. Sex has always been good, always been great high. But this? Fuck, he’s never felt something so otherwordly.

He never wants it to end, wants to spend the rest of his life fucking her like a whore. She’s tugging his hair, likely making his scalp bleed but he loves it. He’d bleed a fucking river just to feel her cunt around him again.

“I’m gonna come!”

Her words awaken something animalistic within Harry. Like his life depends on feeling her release around him – like it’s what he was born to experience.

He chases her high, nipping and suckling on her neck, fucking into her cunt as fast as his restrained hips will allow. Y/N’s a blubbering mess, a sight Harry never wants to forget.

Fuck, he doesn’t think he could if he tried. This will forever be etched into his mind – her face, her body, her perfect cunt. Jesus, he’s never been so into sex in his life.

Her body begins to tremble uncontrollably, legs locked tight around his middle as she cries his name and pours over him.

Harry’s gruff and desperate moans mix with hers. She’s impossibly tighter, squeezing him; begging him to never let her feel anything but full ever again.

Harry wants to die buried in her cunt.

It takes every single fucking ounce of willpower he has to pull out and release across her thighs – painting the filthiest picture anyone could imagine.

It’s a struggle for either of them to catch their breaths. Hot and heavy panting that soon turns into light laughter, that even sooner, turns into contagious giggles.

Their bodies shake with every chuckle, Harry’s mouth ghosting hers until he nips on her bottom lip.

“We are never to talk about this, understood?”

He grins widely. “Whatever you want, Princess.”

She hums, eyes full of lust. Harry’s still achingly hard, despite coming more than he ever has before. He dips his head to her neck, sucking at her soft skin. His cock twitches against her thigh and she breathes deeply, blinks slowly.

“You wanna go again?” his voice is muffled by her neck.

She grins, legs wrapping back around his middle.

“Whatever you want, baby.”

[leesjuicycalves]

*Isn't he lovely?

As the first light of dawn seeped through the curtains of your room, illuminating a soft melancholic glow in it you shifted under the covers dreading on why you hadn’t draped them the previous night. The light was the last thing you wanted to see, really! Groaning in irritation and exhaustion you decided against your desires and left the bed in a freakishly slow pace only to be met with dizziness and drowsiness, the weight of your own body pulling you right back in bed as you fell with a soft thud. Okay, maybe having four bottles of beer alone in your dark room before bed wasn’t a good idea. With shaky hands you reach out for the glass of water that is dangerously sitting on your nightstand to parch your dry throat. Your body doesn’t give you a break even then, your head pounding hard like a relentless drumbeat. Yeah, drinking before bed was really not a smart idea. Well your month ago self would have told you that, but you caged her in. The current you doesn’t give a shit about the consequences of your actions and is sure you are gonna do the same again tonight, just like you’ve been doing for the past weeks. You lazily drag yourself downstairs kicking away the empty bottles of beer scattered on the floor so you can try and have breakfast. Keyword, try. Nothing tastes good to you anymore, nothing but beer and your little fried cashew nuts. That’s what you’ve been living on for the past month. Even as you scan your kitchen for something healthier, your hands automatically grab the last bag of cashews you have left and a bottle of beer in the fridge and you head over to the couch. Where you’ll be spending your day and then head right back upstairs to finish the last few bottles of beer you have.

There’s a crappy show playing on your TV that you don’t even remember playing the previous night, a woman, probably the main character, smiling to herself yapping something in her monologue about being content that she’s glad she has someone who could care for her, love her and cherish her. To be cared for, you didn’t know how that felt.

When the year began you thought you’d have your life fully under control. No storms, no emotional outbursts, just a smooth life and probably a happy one too. It begun like that actually, it began with you finding love, finding someone that could understand you. Having Minho in your life was as great as you’d have imagined; he was sweet, kind, hot and sexy. Basically the type of guys you were into. You had everything under control as the year began, smooth sailing and all, with Minho by your side. But then you started to feel overwhelmed, falling victim under the suffocating weight of expectations and obligations particularly from your mother who seemed to be short of lacking criticism in any sort of thing. She always had something to complain about, something to observe and put in her views and perspectives. One day it would be about how you don’t call them often anymore, or how you’ve been too much in social media; with the posts your uploading instead of working, and on the days she had that ‘mother attitude’ it would be to comment on how your boyfriend looks more like a fuckboy rather than a life partner and how you take care of him and the strangers in the city more than them.

But you did take care of them, you really did. From the day you got your first salary, your first paycheck. Heck you’ve been taking care of them ever since you realized how far your roles of the eldest daughter go. You always listened when she complained about how her business is not doing okay, about how she’s running low on sales stocks and about how stingy her husband is. Always listened when she said she had no sister figure in her life to share stuff with but now she can do that with her daughter. Always listened when she talked about how well your sisters were doing in college and high school. Always listened when she made comments on how fat or thin you’ve gotten. You always listened. Your dad, you were close with each other, had nothing much to complain about him. He was just an over achiever and too much of a planner perfectionist.

“You should have stayed back here Y/N instead of going to the city. That spot in that law firm my friend once offered me is still free. You could make a lot out of it, there’s nothing serious out there if you ask me. This was a sure bet job sweetie.” He had said one day through a phone call that was supposed to be you telling him the exciting news of how you won your first case in a while. He was the kind of person that always wanted things to go according to his plans.

Your sisters would call you day in and out, talking about their days in school. Saying how they wished they had so and so, how mom and dad are still as stingy as ever since you moved away from home. How their allowances got reduced. How they wished they were you and had the freedom to do whatever they wanted.

But did you even want to be you at this point? Everything was beginning to feel like it was too much, too little, not right. Maybe your dad was right, you should have stayed back with them and taken the offer he had given you since there were no more job offers for you that seemed to be coming up. Maybe your mom was also right, you don’t take care of them enough, you have to do more, you have to be more.

But when would they listen to you, when would they stand by what you chose for once, when would they appreciate what you’ve already done or at least tried to do even if it was just a little bit? When would they also listen to what you have to say? When would they take care of you in that way?

Sure you had Minho but he was also a man of his own before you, he also had a family that needed him, he also had stuff going on. You weren’t his 24 hour responsibility. Knowing how this overwhelming feeling felt made you not wanna dump it on someone else, you’d rather handle it on your own just as you’ve always done. And that’s exactly what you’ve been doing for the past month, handling your situation. You had had blacklisted your parents and sisters not wanting to hear from them anymore, just for the while, until you got your shit back together. Hidden yourself from the world since you basically hadn’t picked any calls from your friends or even Minho, not gone outside for the past weeks, not breathed in that fresh cool air from outside. You were under house arrest, by your own will. The only logical way for you to handle your situation.

The silence in your room strings you away from your thoughts, the TV is dead silent and the lights in the kitchen were off. Maybe there was a power surge or maybe it was just the fact that you hadn’t paid this month’s electricity bill. You couldn’t care less anyways since you found the dark way more comforting these days.

Your cashews are done, there’s nothing left in the package. Your beer is halfway done too and you have to pee but you don’t feel like getting up from the comfortable position you’re in on the couch. “Guess I’ll just have to if I don’t wanna ruin my couch,” again you move at a really slow pace heading for the bathroom to ease yourself.

“Darn it with the fucking lights,” is the first thing that slips from your mouth when you walk down the hallway back to the living room. You hear clanking noises coming from the kitchen and you are slightly shocked to find Minho standing in front of your kitchen sink wearing your lavender apron and doing you’re two weeks old or so dishes. He seemed to be too immersed in whatever he was doing to even notice your disheveled-self standing there, you take a quick glance at yourself and realize how pathetic you look in your baggy blue sweats, your stained t shirt and your tangled up dry and obviously dirty hair. You clear your throat in a low but audible voice and Minho turns to look at you only after he’s finished the washing the last dish in the sink. He stares at you for a whole minute without saying anything, the two of you awkwardly standing there in the kitchen area. He blinks once, twice, thrice then a couple of more times under the long bangs of his hair and mutters a hello which you return with a curt nod. He turns away from you and proceeds to move about in the kitchen. ‘It’s been that long?’ You think to yourself, you stare back at Minho. He grew his hair out, you’ve been away for so fucking long that he grew his hair out. You retrieve your eyes from him and decide to go back to the couch seeing that you had nothing to say to each other.

He cleaned the living room coffee table, in that short amount of time you went to the bathroom, he cleaned it all. The beer you had left earlier was no longer there and your empty nut bag was gone. You glance over at Minho in the kitchen and sigh, maybe the TV is working now that the lights are back on. You scroll the available channels and decide to stop at one that has its program read; Just for Laughs but youre too lost in youre thoughts once again to concentrate on what’s playing. Minho probably thinks you’re a loser, he probably thinks youre a burden. A dirty lazy burden that he has for a girlfriend who can’t even take care of herself alone. He probably wants to end things, you don’t deserve him. He needs better, he needs someone who can handle their shit in a mature way. You look down at your stained shirt once again and sigh. He definitely deserves better than this, better than you. You know you’ve inconvenienced his schedule by making him be here, he had better, important things to do. Why is he here in the first place?

Before your thoughts go on any further, you feel a presence loom over you and a delicious smell of freshly made food hits your nostrils.

“Eat this, you need it.” Minho says in a stern but soft voice handing you the bowl.

You don’t look up at him because you’re afraid you’ll cry when you do, so you just keep staring at your feet and shake your head no. You hear him sigh and it just makes your thoughts spiral the more. You see his feet move about and the in the next minute he is sitting on the floor and looking at you from below. You turn away quickly but not quick enough as he pulls your chin to face him again with a spoonful of his homemade meal in front of your mouth, he gives you a stern look and you have no choice but to open your mouth and take what he gives you. The both of you sit in silence for the next few minutes, the room only filled with the sound of you chewing and swallowing and the sounds of the spoon hitting the glass bowl every time Minho scoops another portion until you’ve completely emptied the bowl. He then gets up to get you glass of water and disappears upstairs leaving you alone with your thoughts again.

“Did you shower today?” Minho asks when he comes back down stairs a little sweat dripping from his forehead, is long bangs sticking to it and a plastic bag in his hands filled with your empty beer bottles. You timidly shake your head embarrassed of your state. He makes haste to dispose the bag and comes right back inside to lead you up to you room.

“I can bathe myself,” is what you tell Minho when you see him take his clothes off.

“I need a shower too. Am all sweaty from cleaning those smelly beer bottles,” he says, with no malice or disgust really, just a plain comment but you wince at that statement and only hum taking off your dirty outfit. You turn your back on him hoping he’s not looking at you. You’ve lost weight, your collar bone is more prominent, you don’t want him to see you like that he might get more disgusted; you think. You very slowly slide your sweats off your legs and squat by your bed to fold it even though it’s going in the hamper. Minho is still shuffling around the room probably putting a towel on. You want him to take a shower first and leave you alone in the bathroom to probably cry out the tears you’ve been holding back ever since he came to you today but he has other plans.

He comes right behind you and snatches the piece of clothing that is neatly folded and sitting still on your bed with your shaky fingers still pressing over it. He throws it into the hamper beside him.

“That’s no use, get up,” and you do while trying to cover up you’re naked self with the knee length towel you have on but Minho tosses it on the bed seeing no use of keeping it on. You both make it into the bathroom where the beautiful scent of lavender and vanilla engulfs your senses, the room aglow with soft candlelight casting and flickering shadows on the wall making it feel like a sanctuary of relaxation.  You turn to face Minho who smiles at you softly and gestures you to step into the bathtub adorned with radiant jasmine petals floating delicately on the bubbled water. You sink into the lukewarm water and your shoulders instantly relax, you close your eyes and sigh in ease feeling a wave of tranquility wash over you. Something you haven’t felt in days. Minho lovingly stares at you by the bathroom door his eyes shimmering with happiness to see you at ease, his heart filling with satisfaction and pride. Your eyes shoot open when you feel the water move and Minho sits in front of you, his hands search yours under the water and he holds them tight fearing he might lose you if he lets go. His feline eyes stare into your soul telling you in every way how he missed you and how he loves you more than he has ever done anyone in his lifetime. His eyes tell you how important you are too him and how he wouldn’t know how to move on without you in his life, his touch speaks multitude of the depth of affection he has for you, the security he’s willing to offer you, that you crave for.

And you cage, completely crashing. Tears begin to violently flow from your eyes as tiny sobs escape your lips mumbling bits of ‘am sorry’ and ‘thank yous’ to him but he doesn’t let you cry quickly pressing his forehead onto yours as his thumbs wipe away the tears from your cheeks.

“No matter what, I’ll always be here. Waiting to take care of you to cherish you and keep you safe. I’ll carry your burdens for you no matter what, mmh?” He tells you softly and you can feel the truth in his voice, the firmness and dedication of his words. You cry harder, full on weeping on his bare chest and this time he decides to let you do so rubbing soothing circles on your back and gently stroking your hair occasionally pouring water on your back with the small of his hand. And after you’re done crying he kisses you so sweetly, so softly, as if you were a glass doll that would break if he were to press harder on your lips.  He kisses the overwhelming feelings away, he kisses the stress away and erases the weight of the world, your worries and your fears. His kiss is another reassuring promise of comfort in the midst of your chaos. His lips brush against yours and the world seems to be on pause, there’s nothing more you feel at the moment apart from him, his warmth, his soft touch, his love.

Minho pulls you closer to him so that you are fully sitting on his lap under the jasmine bubbles, youre lips detach from his and he pecks your nose and flashes you a smile showing his two front bunny teeth and you mirror his smile feeling like a whole new person. He suddenly stands with you still in his arms but his grip on your thighs tighter than before and steps out of the tub whilst peppering soft kisses on all over your face eliciting giggles from you.

“Min, we’re wet don’t-” you try to protest as he lays you on your bed not willing to part his lips from your body.

“I missed you so much, let me take care of you,” he says in a husky voice his lips trailing lower and stopping at the bridge of your breasts to look up at you and you now see how his eyes are brazen with lust. Seeing that you had no oppositions to his current actions he went ahead and took one of your breasts in his mouth sucking and kissing all over, his front teeth lightly nibbling on your hardened nipple. His other hand delicately pinching your other nipple twisting and turning it between his thumb and index finger. His touch made you quite sensitive since it truly had been long since you felt him in this sense. You don’t get much time to relish in the feeling of his lips on your breasts as you feel his tongue glide past your tummy and stop just on top of your waist.

“So pretty,” he coos as his fingers spread your slick wet folds flicking at it now and then.

“M-min,” you breath out not really knowing what you want him to do, your brain completely fuzzy with lust and desires. But he knows exactly what you need and he gives you that. His tongues delves right into your leaking cunt and he licks and sucks like a starved man, which in true sense he was. Not being able to hear from you or see you for an entire month had made him worried sick out of his mind, he had missed you, had missed every aspect of you. And now that he had you, he would show you, he would make you feel how he’d missed you so much.

“So sweet love, so fucking sweet,” he mumbles against you and you cum instantly with a loud cry of his name, but that doesn’t make him stop. Minho continues to lap at your folds taking in every drop of your release making you squirm above him as you try to push his head away. “Sens-sensitive Minho. Mmmh,” you cry out and he only looks up when he’s sure he is done and had enough of you, for now.

“I love you, so much.” He speaks against your lips and kisses them more fervently tongue gliding over your lip asking for entrance and as soon you grant him that, he sucks on your tongue even harder. His hands don’t stay in one place, roaming your body, groping any piece of flesh that is able to fit in his hand. He has his hand on your breasts, your thighs, your tummy and your ass. Your hands too caress his soft firm chest and back, gripping the hairs on the back of his neck each time he sucks on your lips and tongue. They glide all over his body then your fingertips brush past his tip and he winces biting your tongue and the sound you make after that makes him harder than he already was.

“Baby, I need you. Fucking now,”

“Me too Min, please,” you say in a desperate whine now fully grabbing at the base of his crotch.

Minho was definitely gonna show you how much he missed you, savor every part of you, make you feel what you really were to him. Special and important, and he wanted to make sure that by the end of it all you knew. He quickly turned so that now you were above him, your folds grazing his thick pink leaking tip. As you were about to lower yourself on his waiting dick he spun you around so that your ass was facing him and you were directly looking into the floor length mirror in front of your bed.

“Min-Minho, lemme look at you. I wanna see you,” you say hesitantly as you try to get back to your previous position but Minho pushes you down and the tip of his shaft pokes at your hole. “F-fuck!”

“I want you to see how pretty you are and how you deserve to be taken care of. You need to see how I take care of you,” he says so calmly as if he isn’t sinking his cock into your tight wet cunt. You mewl at his words and grip on his thick thighs as he slides you down further into his cock, his gaze is intent on the scene before him. Your body is jerked forward so that your back is slightly arching and Minho gets a first row sit to how you are taking him so well.

“Fuck, youre so fucking tight,” he grunts as youre now completely on top of him. You on the other hand are struggling between keeping your vision away from the mirror and not screaming at the fullness of Minho. He then pulls you back softly by the back of your neck and you lay your head on his shoulder, mouth hanging open groaning in pure pleasure.

“Baby, open your eyes for me,” he coos right against your ears and you have no choice but to do so, you are met with the erotic sight of your naked body against his, his hands holding both your breasts and squeezing them promptly each time he thrusted into you.

“You….are perfect…and deserve to be taken care of,” he thrusts into you with a grunt, “You deserve the whole world and back and I’ll give you all that baby” he thrusts harder than the last time and you mewl biting your lower lip. His left hand leaves your breasts and comes to gently caress your folds.

“Let me hear you baby.” You moan out his name the minute he lightly pinches your clit and that encourages him to rub faster and thrust harder. With his right hand playing with your nipple, his left hand rubbing at your folds and his dick hitting all the right places in you there was no way you could last long and so you cum harder than you think you’ve ever done when with him. You come calling out his name and he encourages you to finish, still drawing circles at your lower lips, with little praises of ‘you did well’ and ‘you’re perfect’.  He also immediately releases into you biting into the side of your neck then falling back on the bed with you still on top of him, he still holds you, embracing you and the moment you just shared.

He later carries you back to the bathroom and washes both of you off. He has you back to your old self again, giggling like a teenage girl that just discovered their first love. You are grateful for him, you really are and maybe you could handle things in a better way. You could handle your problems with Minho. He was the one to listen to you, to take care of you just as you did for everyone else. He was the one to make you feel like you were enough and so much more.

As you lay in your bed both cuddling against each other comfortable in each other’s warmth, Minho promises again to be there for you and to take care of you and you promise to tell him when it gets too much so you can get through it together.

“Minho,” you call him as sweetly as he would you.

“Mmmmh,”

“I love you more.”

[mitskijamie]

More allergy Jamie please 🥺🥺🥺

Yesss I love talking about hcs I literally made up out of nowhere for no reason at all 🙏

- He's extremely allergic to tree nuts 😔 hazelnuts, almonds, cashews, walnuts etc.

- He has to keep his allergy kit on him just in case (the winning EpiPen + Benadryl + Emergency inhaler combo), which is why he has so many little bags. Epi secured 👇

- Georgie is very protective about it while Jamie's growing up, which is part of the reason they're so close 🫰

- This:

is a line ripped directly from Georgie in reference to Jamie & the allergy kit. They have like 700 fights about it when he's in his early teens, because he wants to fit in with his little academy friends and doesn't want his super mature manly coolguy footballer style to be cramped by his stupid life-saving medication

- Because of this ^ phase Georgie texts him every time she knows he's going to an away match all through his 20's to remind him to bring his allergy stuff. And he's always like "it's been 12 years mummy" but secretly kind of likes when she babies him a little

- Adult Jamie has it under control and really doesn't need other people (besides Georgie, of course, who is a lost cause) to stress about it. That doesn't stop other people from stressing about it. Especially Roy, who is so freaked out that he almost strangles Colin for eating an almond protein bar in the locker room

- (Jamie's allergy is not even airborne, and he tells everyone they can eat whatever they want as long as they don't kiss him, but Jamie's "not the fucking manager" so he "doesn't make the rules," and if Roy says "absolutely no nuts in here" then "that means absolutely no fucking nuts in here")

- Jamie can't eat baked goods from most bakeries/grocery stores (a lot of places use almond extract or have possible cross contamination), so whenever the team has little birthday parties they either get a cake from a special bakery or try to make it themselves (which never goes very well. Bless) so Jamie doesn't have to be left out

- Also Jamie's stepdad (Simon <3) is a baker or a pastry chef or something, and I think he'd make Jamie fancy pastries, since he can't usually eat them and they're "one of life's greatest pleasures"

[qiutls]

TNGDH 005

That bad man.

A man without blood nor tears. A really terrible person. So merciless... I roared into the sawdust, floundering my limbs all around.

― Squeak! [ Give me back my wheel, you punk! ]

I'm not even halfway through the mission!

How can you only look at documents and pretend that you're not interested in this hamster at all then stab me in the back like this, huh? If I knew you were looking, I would have pretended to run moderately.

Indeed, I was stupid to believe that a crazy hamster otaku like him would be indifferent to me for even a minute. I'm the Northern Grand Duke and I'm superior to a running hamster, as if.

Kyle even went on patrol the next day taking the wheel with him. It's absolutely insane. There's no work to do, nor miracles in this cage, and I can't even do other quests.

That enemy-like miracle...

I climbed the slide from the end part to the middle, then let myself slide down, repeating it a few times and then sighing heavily at the end. 

I want to live like a human being until I die. Forget about eating well, or living luxuriously. I just want to live as a human, as defined by the dictionary!

Anyway, time went by against my will.

It was a day filled with playing and eating. Riding down the slide, eating walnuts, taking a nap, eating peanuts, stretching my body at a breathing room, eating sunflower seeds, riding the swing, eating pistachios...

I hear it's a cold neighborhood, are nuts a specialty? It's a great place to build a burum restaurant. It's only difficult to peel the nuts if you try and peel it all at once, but if you put it in a bowl, peel it little by little whenever you think of it...

/burum means assorted nuts, specifically walnuts, pine nuts, peanuts and etc./

...Fuck, what the hell are am I thinking?

I'm already thinking like a hamster.

All of a sudden, I started to fear what if I adapt to the situation casually like this. I'm a human being! I'm an intelligent person!

"Cashew Nut."

Kyle came back long after sunset.

I don't if he came in at a late time since I couldn't see the clock from here, and during winter in Blake's estate, nighttime took up more than half of the day.

He returned to the study to find me, but I pretended to not know. I wasn't in the mood.

Well, isn't this situation pretty.

I crumpled my body into the passageway between the first and second floors of the house that's not easily seen from the outside. He looked around the house for a while before giving up and returning to his bedroom.

He obviously looked disappointed, but....

Well, if you give me back my wheel, maybe I'll meet you face to face for a bit.

The next day, we met with a transparent passage between us. The frustrated Northern Grand Duke visited the study before sunrise.

"I'll be back soon."

He spoke affectionately, with his face close to mine.

"From today on, let's control your diet. Your body seemed to not be able to fit in that passageway."

Wait a minute... What the hell is this guy saying?

I lost my breath for a bit due to the shock of hearing those words.

But Kyle moved quickly, he was already pouring out the contents of my bowl. My bowl full of nuts... No... It's all empty, leaving only three almonds.

"I don't want you to strain your joints. I've still left some, so it'll be fine until the night. I'm busy preparing for the festival, so I think I'll come in late again today."

―…….

"...As expected, is it too little?"

Before I could protest, the man behind him said.

"No, I have heard from the magician that the growth period for the hamster have yet to come, Your Highness. The food is enough."

What are you talking about. What do you mean controlling my diet? Do you not have eyes? It's wrong to eat just one nut for breakfast, lunch and dinner!

It's the first time since school meals, that I'm eating food as someone else had planned. I looked up at Kyle, staring at him ridiculously and kicked the bowl over.

A dirty and cheap life, I can't even eat whatever I want.

I want to eat chicken with beer, salmon with capers, chicken feet, tteokbeokki, pane pasta.... Greasy, spicy, and bad for your health, it's something that only Koreans can eat!

"I guess, I'd better let him exercise a little."

"Yes, Your Highness, it's not good to overdo it, but it's still better than having it gain too much weight."

"Alright."

Kyle nodded his head, and with a grave look, put back the wheel in my house.

Yes! That's right!

I looked up at him, my blue eyes shining. He really looked like an angel today.

Get ready the party will start shortly. I only need to run 800 laps, not a single more and I'm done with this hamster life!

Let's calm down for now, if I ride it as soon as you give it to me, you'll probably take it away again. I pretended to be as calm as possible, and turned my head away from the wheel as if I didn't care that it has finally returned to my arms.

Kyle looked at me for a long time, his eyes were practically saying, "you're so cute, I could die."

Look at him, it seems like he had kissed me a hundred times with just those eyes alone. You've grown a lot, you already know how to control yourself when someone's next to you.

"Do you like that demonic beast that much, Your Highness?"

I heard their conversation as they were about to leave.

"Apparently, it's a northern field mouse type of beast, it's a bit late to give a mana stone for it's heart, so it's physical strength is weak but... It's able to socially interact and above all, it's pretty smart.

"Anyways, it's still young, that's why the size is a bit... It does resemble a hamster, however, if you look closely, it's just golden fur...

"It's just a mouse." /all the dialogue above is from the man accompanying Kyle/

"What do you mean, just a mouse?"

Kyle answered coldly and turned to him. "Are your eyes defective?"

"... Y-your Highness, I-"

"Enough, while I finish the paperwork for the celebrations, fetch me a small needle and some yarn."

"What will you do with it, Your highness?"

"There's no need to know, I'll be using it for important stuff, so only bring high quality ones."

"Yes, Your Highness."

Kyle left the study, while coughing. "This winter is especially cold."

This punk, don't tell me...

You're not going to knit my clothes, are you? Don't be weirdly domestic, Grand Duke, if you don't want to see this fragile hamster grab the back of your neck with just one hand.

The mere imagination of it made my body shiver and I rubbed my limbs quickly. Forget it, let's not think about it.

I quickly climbed onto the wheel. That's right, running on the wheel is best way to empty your mind. Now that I have the hang of it, I'll surely be able to finish 800 laps quickly.

I took a deep breath and began to move my four feet.

With a clatter, the wheel began to move slowly.

Now let's go with the flow, think about something peaceful and pleasant. Pizza, bulgogi, sundae gukbap... I felt my mouth watering and continued to run on the wheel with more force.

[ 0217/1000 ] …… [ 0322/1000 ] …… [ 0445/1000 ]

The numbers went up smoothly.

At this rate, I'm confident that there will be no hamster who can spin a wheel better than me. It's worthwhile to do this and count the number of times, so I think I'm accumulating points.

I just looked at the system window running, the number was between 600 to 700. Look at this, won't I be able to finish it soon.

I was a little hungry, so I was going to take a break and eat, but then I remembered what Kyle and the man discussed earlier.

What? Control my diet? Was I stuck in the passageway with my big body?

No, I won't eat anymore. I'll lose weight, and if I die, then I'll make him regret it.

I turned the wheel frantically with strange enthusiasm, refusing to rest. I was a little bit worried that the screw might fall off at this rate.

So, when I first heard a creaking sound, I thought this enormous wheel have finally met its end.

Huh, but is this really the right sound?

"Does the Grand Duke hide women in the castle?"

"I heard he loves her so much that he'll spend the day cooped up in here."

... A woman?

"You idiot! Why would you hide a woman in the study? You should put her in your bedroom, of course."

"... Really? Well, let's just search here for a bit, then go to the bedroom."

"That's right, by any chance we might get lucky and find some military secret in here."

I stopped turning the wheel and looked down at the men that crawled in through the door, literally.

The approached the desk, in a weird posture, they were wearing black masks. One look and you'd be able to tell, these people were not invited guests.

"Let's catch the woman, or maybe kill her."

"Right, if it's a commoner, then it will be pretty easy."

"Isn't that why he keeps her hidden, because she has no status?"

The masked men, no the thieves exchanged stories amongst themselves and searched the drawers. Documents in the top column, documents in the next, as well as third one. And in the last column-

"What's this?"

One of the men pulled out a bag from the drawer. I sat next to my bowl, eating the almonds as I watched them.

"Macadamia?"

There's one there too? For your information, there's also a bag of those in the small drawer next to the door.

Crunch. Crunch.

The thieves fell silent, and only the sound of me eating nuts could be heard in the study. Only then did they notice my existence and slowly approached me.

"What's this?"

"It looks like a mouse."

"Doesn't it look weird, this fur... it's gold right?"

"... Is it a demonic beast?"

"As expected from the Northern Great Duke."

No, I'm just an ordinary hamster.

I took the last almond and filmed a mukbang. Well? Bring me the macadamias in your hand. Three almonds are not enough for me.

"... Do you think it's expensive?"

The thief moved it's mouth after staring at me for a long time. They exchanged glances and soon began to open the hamster cage. 

You guys really didn't have any plan before coming here huh?

Talked about finding a woman and kidnapping her. But now you're kidnapping a hamster instead?

There's no backbone at all. How could such clumsy people try to steal. It's a miracle they didn't get caught on their way here.

I sighed without looking at the hand coming down from the ceiling of my house. Should I approach slowly? Is now a good time?

At that moment.

Clang! The sound of glass breaking echoed throughout the room.

"W-What's that?"

The three thieves, no, more like meerkats suddenly turned their heads towards the window, like real meerkats. 

"How dare you touch what's mine?"

The voice was like a sharp blade, resembling the wind of the highest highlands of the north. It felt like frost. The cowards, then began to tremble, as if they had already died three times just by hearing the voice.

Ah... I mean, this is karma if you look at it technically. In other words, it's time for the teacher to reprimand you.

[ How dare you kidnap my sweet little hamster! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ ]

I didn't mean it that way. By the way, why are you so excited?

"You won't be able to take another step."

No... Is it really a death penalty for touching a hamster?

Kyle pulled out a knife from his waistband.

... I really didn't think it would turn out this way.

novel ⠀✿⠀ next

[blushblushbear]

I was wondering if you can do husband headcanon for Cole, Volks, and Cashew?

Thank you💕

ALL THREE OF THESE DORKS ARE SO HAPPY YOU AGREED TO MARRY THEM LMAO

Cole:

on the surface it's a very sweet domestic life

he plays the role of the loving, doting husband well

mostly cause he is actually a loving, doting husband

he's a bit strange but then again who isn't

but over all life with him very pleasant

just don't go in the basement though

that's his private space for his personal hobbies

don't worry about what hobby-- they say that the best married couples are ones that continue some level of personal life after marriage you know

he defiantly keeps the house clean

he's actually a bit of a neat freak

but he's also a pretty decent cook

he's not about to work at a 5 star fancy restaurant or anything but he can make some very solid dishes and is actually looking to learn more for you

I will say he tries to keep it all healthy though

he's not as much of a health nut as Kelby but he does constantly worry about your health

"why, if I lost you, I would have to spend every waking moment mourning at your grave until I withered away into nothing! and frankly that sounds too sad and boring to be how it ends for me"

definitely watches you sleep

sometimes stays up late just to watch you, all sweet and peaceful and helpless

is also very affectionate now that he's "claimed" you as it were

also is very open to letting all others know that you are well and truly spoken for, in case any ideas might think about wondering into their heads believing otherwise

god help anyone that has the misfortune to break into your home

he will love you until the day he dies and probably the eternity after too

Volks:

is much more openly affectionate after tying the knot

once you agreed to marry him and he knew you were the real deal and weren't going anywhere, he didn't really see the point in holding back

he actually partakes in a lot more little romantic gestures after your married, though all of them still not directly to your face cause he's still him and he gets embarrassed

little stuff like notes around the house telling you how much he loves you left in places he know you'll find it

or flowers waiting on the kitchen counter for you

or "I love you" written on your hand that you wake up to (also there might be some marker on either the pillow or your face or both oops)

also a card carrying member of the watching his spouse sleep club

he can't really cook but he makes decent money and also comes from a well off enough family so he can afford to get take out basically every night

if you cook then he will also try to learn to cook but it's very rough at first

he's very proud the first time he made pasta and it was edible and stuff

keeps his home very cozy

lots of blankets and pillows everywhere

he likes to cocoon himself up and will very much want you to join him

aside from the pillows and blankets and a few knick knacks he has very little in the way of home decor so either you have to bring all the flare into the home or you're both gonna be living pretty modern minimalist

really really really really really wants a dog

you have talked about getting a dog probably 10000 times

probably not as actively doting as Cole but he def pays attention and tries to make things happen or fix things quietly for you before they even become a problem

likes to take you camping with him, calls it a family camping trip

very into referring to the two of you (and maybe some dogs) as a family (since his kind of sucked A LOT)

is very proud to call you his spouse and will brag about it any chance he gets

doesn't get jealous too too often but he's still territorial so he WILL use any attention you get as a chance to brag about how he's your HUSBAND *points to his ring* for anyone who will give him the 5 seconds it takes for him to bring it up

Cashew:

the house is very cozy cottage nook vibes

a little hobbit hole esque

except there is def some kind of play room and/or a least a chest and something risque built into your bed room (pole, swing, whatever)

he has a library, he NEEDED to have a library

but there is also book shelves in every other room in the house as well

tries and fails to be a decent cook but now that he's a husband he's actually a little more set on getting gud scrub

he wants to be a supportive husband to you

I know I've said doting before on both other guys but yeah he is also p doting

loves your sunday rituals of snuggling up together under a bunch of blankets on your sofa and reading

he can't really cook but he knows how you take your coffee and can make it PERFECTLY

is very much one of those spouses that likes to do everything together

it can't just be you going to the store or him going to the store, you both have to do it

you can't just go straight there you have to re-group and THEN go to the store

he will act like happy newly weds with you well into your 20th anniversary

he has a lot of pictures of the two of you together all over the house but ESPECIALLY in his library/office

lots of sleepy early morning head kisses and leaning on each other as you wait for the coffee maker to get done making coffee vibes

lives you lots of notes everywhere

sometimes they're just normal house stuff ('DON'T LET ME FORGET MILK') but he's just as likely to write something romantic and sappy ('the sunlight through the trees this morning reminded me of your eyes <3')

big dorky snuggle nerd makes for big dorky snuggle HUSBAND

also he's gonna give off some slight dad vibes regardless of if you guys end up having kids

I think he's one of the only dudes who would definitely want kids eventually though??

he's very open to adopting

he wants to scoop an orphan up into your loving family and whisk them away on the strange and grand adventure called LIFE!

honestly though, kids or no kids, as long as he's with you he's happy

often looks at his ring and thinks of how lucky he is

[langernameohnebedeutung]

@claw00 Excuses to talk about my crowfriends? Hell yes!

To be clear, this is all based on my field study based on specific 2 crows but my findings so far.

I think it's important to keep in mind that crows are non-domesticated prey animals. And as humans we are enormous compared to them. So they're understandably skittish. (It's a bit like befriending a cat, but with less hissing and more stalking. Seriously. They watch everything. They're a two-winged surveillance apparatus. They will learn everything about you.) But this is also a matter of personality (Omen is a lot more confident than Eggnog, but neither is as confident as one sweet crow I once met who immediately ate straight from my hand. But that one was living right next to Stonehenge and is probably very used to tourists sharing their meals!). Anyway, some tips based on that:

NO SALT! This isn't so much a tip for befriending crows but a tip for when you do it: Treats are obviously the best way to start an interaction with them. Nuts are a good starter, cat food, the occasional egg - they're omnivores and you will find a lot of guidelines online as to what you can feed them and what's healthy for them. There are also some wonderful reddit communities for crowfriends where people share their personal experiences. Peanuts and cashews are a giant hit in my experience. But: A lot of the nuts that you see in the supermarket have insane amounts of salt on them. Because we crave that mineral. Birds cannot metabolise salt at the same rates we can. It's highly toxic for them and can cause neurological damage. So if you buy nuts or seeds for them, make sure that you're buying the unsalted version. Shelled peanuts and bird food from the pet shop are some good ways options to make sure it's healthy. Generally, check the label.

They don't like direct eye contact. Remember, again, we are giant noisy predators with front-facing eyes! A brief moment of eye contact is helpful to indicate that you're "talking" to them and that what you're doing (e.g. placing a treat) is something you're doing for them. But prolonged staring is a thing to build up to. (This doesn't go both ways, by the way. They will stare. It's their favourite hobby)

Some feeding techniques: Throwing food is a good way to communicate very clearly that you are giving food to them. But it also can be scary for them, to see a human throw something in their direction! (imagine a giant walking up to you and throwing a peanut the size of your head at you. You would be worried too) So, small movements and maybe just throwing it in their vague direction, a little to the side or just throwing it halfway is better than throwing it straight at them the way you might to a dog. Or straight up placing it for them in an accessible spot to snatch at their own time (especially early on in the friendship - I also have a little magpie in my orbit at this point but she only takes it in secret. I know she's gaining a small amount of trust because she will sit in my line of sight to ask for food, but she will never let me see her take it. Eggnog was very similar at first. Just because you don't see them take it, doesn't mean that the gift isn't well-received or that you're not building a relationship.

They don't like a rapid descent swooping, most of the time. At first, I would throw food straight below the spot they were sitting in, straight under their tree or the street lamp they were perched on to make it very clear that "yo, here, for you!" But I noticed they would be more hesitant when I did that - and usually, they would hop down in several "steps" to get it (usually finding a slightly lower spot a little to the side and then swoop to the ground. This seems to be less of an issue when they're swooping from higher up - but generally, it seems to be a lot more comfortable if you throw it a few metres to the side so that the descent is less steep). On that matter, they also walk a lot more than you would expect, once they're on the ground,

Being patient. As I said, they're prey animals and they're not domesticated. They might not even really understand what you want from them at first (but they're quick on the uptake and they remember your face). I started befriending my two guys because there is a very sick, very crappy walnut tree in front of my house where they go looking for nuts (which are also small and sickly). I first started feeding them by buying a back of walnuts from the store (really big ones) and placing them under that tree for them (and often cracking them open a little). They started to see me do that and got curious. That's when I started using eye contact to indicate that it was for them - and later I transitioned to feeding them directly and further away from the tree. We got to the point where I could just drop a walnut when I saw them somewhere and they knew it was for them. This also worked better than feeding them peanuts at first (they love peanuts now but at first they didn't even touch them because it was Weird and Strange) or feeding them elsewhere: Find a method that is within their frame of reference. It helped them make sense of what I was doing and from there we extrapolated: I started feeding them further away from that tree and started giving them other things.

Finding a routine! At this point, I have a pretty well-established rapport with my guys - we know where to find each other, what food I have and where I leave it for them when I'm not around, I know exactly how many steps I have to take back for Eggnog to take something (Omen doesn't really care about personal space as much), they know how to get my attention, what times I'm out and what times they go back to their night tree and all that. For some people, there are different routines. On reddit, some people talk about using a whistle to call them, my grandmother used to knock on the roof to call her crow friend back in the day. Some people talk to them to get them used to their voice and establish some expressions they might remember (I do that), some don't talk at all to avoid sounding scary. Some imitate crow noises, some avoid that at all costs. (I also think this depends on the crow. Some seem to react very positively to crow noises. some are scared off by it) But overall, I think the important thing is to remember that crows are some of the smartest animals around. They get used to you. They remember you and your behaviours and what they mean. And you will learn what these specific crows want (they have very unique personalities). So once you're in a "dialogue" with some crows, it's really a bit of a negotiation and you learn about one another - and it's fun! They will tell you how to befriend them, in their own way.

This might be me reading human behaviour into them - but based on crow personalities and the similarities between the way humans and crows think, I do believe that part of the reason they "keep me around" is...because I'm interesting to them. Crows are insanely curious, even if they're shy. I'm a bit of a novelty to them and so are the weird foods I give them. Where else would they get peanuts? One risk in feeding wild animals is that they might become overly dependent on the human doing it or lose their distance. From what I read and witnessed, crows stay pretty well on top of that - they're clever, they know how to procure food in their territory and whatever you feed them is bound to be only a small part of their daily foraging. Sometimes they will be gone for a day or two because they got better stuff to do (someone on reddit once called that "they're out on crow business") and just right now, during nesting season, they're clearly giving me some sort of "courtesy visit" once a day to stay in touch but they do know how to take care of themselves. Sure, I'm also a convenient and reliable food source (and a target for them to extort from) but they're also just straight up curious. So - use that to your advantage: Showing them new foods (make sure they're good for them!) is a good way to learn what they like AND to be interesting to them.

[daytaker]

Can I request a fic where MC is sort of a pathological liar? and they lie about stuff that ultimately doesn't matter, but they can't help it? Also, if it could be Mammon x mc centric that would be amazing, but it doesn't have to be. I love your writing!! bye bye

POV: You are cldhart08. You forgot you sent this to me. Two full months later, you get a notification that daytaker replied to your ask.

Pants on Fire

Ships: (Lowkey) Mammon/Reader, Beel & Reader Word Count: ~1.1k CW: lying (general), lying about medical conditions, bullying Mammon

So you're a bit of a liar.

"I was born with the umbilical cord wrapped around my neck. I wasn't breathing or anything, and my dad actually fainted.

...Or a lot of a liar.

"Did you know my second cousin actually dated Selena Gomez for awhile?"

One might even go so far as to call your lying 'pathological'.

"I actually have a severe tree nut allergy, so I'll pass on that. Thanks though."

There was never any logic to it. The lies just came out. You never felt guilty about it, because no one got hurt. So there wasn't really anything to worry about, right?

Wrong.

You sit on the floor outside of Mammon's room, hugging your knees, when a big, hulking form slumps down the wall onto the floor beside you.

"Oh... Hey, Beel," you say. You're not even trying to pretend as if nothing's wrong.

"Hello." He looks at Mammon's door, then at you. "Did you knock?"

You sigh, then demonstrate to Beel what happens when you knock on Mammon's door. A muffled voice comes from inside.

"Who is it?"

"It's me," you reply.

"I already told you! If you're a scummy, lyin' human, you can go eat nuts for all I care! I'm never talkin' to you again so you might as well stop wastin' both our times!"

"He's talking to you now," Beel points out, and it's hard to argue with his logic.

"Who the hell was that? Beel? Fine, then I'll only talk to you to tell you to fluff off, how's that?"

You rub your eyes tiredly and Beel leans in a little, speaking lower so Mammon can't hear him. "If you just leave, he'll come looking for you in about ten or twenty minutes."

"If I leave, he's going to think I'm not sorry." Hugging your knees, you shake your head. "I am sorry."

"Is this about the thing at the student council meeting and the nuts?"

You shudder at the memory.

----

You hadn't even thought about it at the time.

You never particularly liked nuts. Almonds, cashews, walnuts, chestnuts... not even peanuts outside their butter form. So when Mammon asked you why you declined to try a rather nut-heavy dish prepared by Barbatos himself, you simply told him you were allergic. "If I even get a whiff of them, my body goes into anaphylactic shock."

"What the hell's that?"

"Basically, my immune system goes haywire, and if I don't get the right kind of shot in the first few minutes, I'm a goner."

At the time, Mammon had seemed impressed by how close you skated to death, risking your life by casually allowing tree nuts to continue existing around you. And you? You'd enjoyed the brief attention.

At the time.

-----

That was weeks ago, so it was far from your mind as you accepted some human world trail mix from Beel while you sat, bored out of your wits, through another student council meeting. You picked out most of the nuts, of course, but in the end, you swallowed the imperfectly sorted handful.

And Mammon lost it.

"THERE WERE NUTS IN THAT!"

Diavolo, who had been in the middle of speaking, stuttered to a halt as everyone looked over to Mammon, who was simultaneously cradling you and screaming obscenities at an utterly bewildered Beelzebub. In the moment, you'd sort of frozen up and said nothing. Mammon...

Mammon was crying.

He was crying and yelling ridiculous instructions to everyone in the room and getting extremely angry when the others didn't seem to see what the issue was.

"They're gonna go into analgesic shock and die if we don't do somethin' fast! Do none of you bird brains get that?!"

He begged you to tell him how to get that shot you needed, that... what was it, an Apple Pen?

...It was several minutes before you were able to get the truth out.

Force the truth out, more like. Telling that truth made you almost wish you really had gone into anaphylactic shock. That seemed like an easier way to go than looking Mammon in the eye, in front of all his brothers and Diavolo, and explain that you didn't actually have that allergy. That you'd lied.

And of course, of course, the onus fell on Mammon for believing it.

Satan and Asmo sighed at how someone so stupid could function. Levi posted on Devilgram about how you'd epically trolled Mammon. Lucifer scolded Mammon for his overreaction, and Belphie just glowered at Mammon for waking him up with all his shrieking.

And you, you sort of...said nothing.

-----

"Ah," Beel says, nodding. "You feel bad that you made him look stupid."

"No," you groaned, frustrated at your inability to articulate exactly what it was that felt so off. "It's... He really thought I was going to die. I scared him. And then everyone treated him like a gullible idiot. So...I guess I made him look stupid, but..."

Beel stares at you. His expression is blank, but in a soft sort of way. It's oddly comforting.

"He got made into a laughing stock because I told him a lie, and he reacted to it....the way someone would react if they thought someone they really cared about was in danger. I feel guilty for lying and worrying him, and I feel worse that I just let everyone tear into him like always, when all he did was try to take care of me."

The door you're leaning against swings open behind you and you fall flat on your back in Mammon's doorway. The demon stares down at you with a mixture of righteous contempt and a flustered embarrassment that was so painfully typical of Mammon.

"Yeah! And you should feel guilty! You're a real asshole, ya know that?"

You blink up at him and offer a weak smile. "...Yeah, I know. I'm sorry."

Mammon folds his arms. "You really think you can just come snivelin' up to me and beg for forgiveness, and I'll just hand it to ya?"

Beel looks between you and Mammon, watching the conversation unfold with the same mild interest he'd show while staring at a somewhat unimpressive exhibit at the zoo.

"...Well, today just so happens to be your lucky day," Mammon continues. "The Great Mammon, the big guy himself, has decided to forgive your tiny mortal soul for bein' a total jackass and liar. You're welcome. Don't expect it to happen again."

Still lying on your back, you grin at Mammon. "Thanks, Great Mammon."

The demon clears his throat and looks away. "Anyway. Our turn to make dinner tonight, so..." With that, he walked right past you and darted down the stairs.

Typical Mammon.

[immagoudaboi]

CASHEW FANART

OH MY GOUDANESS MOON I AM SO SORRY I FORGOT TO RESPOND FJISDJEISJFSIJFI HOW COULD I HAVE FORGOTTEN THIS MASTERPIECE!!! I shall add this to the perfect collection of all the lovely panda arts and Moon Masterpiece's <3<3<3

this is fantastic and I will cherish this forever. I look fantastic in this, and thanks for adding all those snacks hehehehe i will never go humgry!!!

I need to commission you for more of these panda pieces I feel like this has given me a month's worth of serotonin!!

ALL HAIL MOON!!! THE SUPREME ARTIST !!!!!

THANK YOU !!! I WILL LOVE THIS!!! FOR!!! EVER!!!!!

[boxboxlewis]

Okay not sure you will like this pairing but Max/Lewis or 4433 🔀

If you hate this ship then consider Charlos please? 🙏🏼 Thanks and sorry

Courage, Villagers

Day 1

It’s Lewis and Max in the Milton Keynes Costco against the world.

Lewis probably would’ve picked, like. Anyone else, to be honest. But everyone else is gone, and now it’s just him and Max, racing around checking the perimeter of the Costco, making sure all the doorways are sealed.

They get the last one done—a fire door in the employee break room; they wedge several titanium kayak paddles through the push bar—and Max wipes the sweat from his forehead and says “That is pretty secure now, I think.”

As if in answer, there’s a meaty thunk against the exterior of the door, and then a sliding sound and a long groan from somewhere near the ground.

The door holds. Lewis and Max each let out a long breath.

“Look, man, I’m gonna crash,” Lewis says. “It’s 3am, I’m knackered.”

Max nods. He’s got his pinched press-conference face on. “Me too. I thought I would go to the garden furniture section, there is a big sofa there I saw.”

Typical. Lewis had his eye on that sofa. “Yeah, whatever,” he says. “Night.” He ends up in a water-free jacuzzi, which he fills with a bunch of feather pillows. His dreams are uneasy.

Day 2

They’ve figured out how to work the pizza ovens. Max is tucking into a slice of oozy, gooey pizza, while Lewis has: some nuts and dried fruit, and a granola bar.

To distract himself, he asks “How long do you reckon electricity lasts, after everyone is like. Dead or a zombie.”

Max looks at him, wide-eyed. His lips are greasy with cheese. “That is a good question,” he says. He gets his phone out and types something. “A few days at least,” he says through a mouthful of pizza. “Maybe weeks.” He keeps reading. “Actually I think none of these people know what they’re talking about, they are all just story writers.”

Great. Lewis eats another cashew.

Day 4

They invent Formula Trolley. The racetrack is the aisle that traverses the length of the shop, and there’s only one rule: get to the finish line with your trolley as fast as you can. Winner gets three points, and there’s a bonus point for Longest Coast.

“And through… comes… Hamilton!” Lewis crows, zooming along on his trolley. He wins, with metres to spare.

“Stewards!” Max calls. They’re both laughing, breathless. “Penalty! Driver 44 interfered with his trolley under parc fermé conditions.”

Lewis’s stomach actually hurts from laughing. It’s probably some kind of trauma response to the fact that they’re in a zombie apocalypse. He’s laughing so, so hard.

“Lewis?” Max is saying. “Lewis, are you…” He pats ineffectually at Lewis’s back. “It is ok,” he says. There’s a pause. “Actually it is not ok, everything is shit and we are probably doomed. I can—do you want me to get you one of those vegan chocolates?”

Day 9

The electricity goes out. 

It’s unnerving, being in the echoey bowels of the store with no light and no sound. The background hum of the industrial chillers is startling, now that it’s gone. 

They make a plan: the next morning at first light they’ll go out to reconnoitre the surrounding area and see if they can find any other survivors. And then they’ll… go from there. 

It’s admittedly not much of a plan, but it’s the best they’ve got.

They fill hiking backpacks with supplies: food, bottled water, camping blankets. They make weapons. Lewis ties a vicious-looking barbecue fork to the end of a curtain rod. Max makes a kind of flail out of a heavy stone garden gnome and some chain. They’re as ready as they’ll ever be.

Max hesitates, before he retires to the garden furniture section for the night. “Do you,” he says. He looks at Lewis, face unreadable. “It is our last night, and we might—we do not know how tomorrow is going to go, so. Do you want…?”

Lewis, somewhat to his surprise, does.

[guilty-pleasures21]

Yooooooooouuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!! You SUCK!

I'm actually going to start posting a new chapter everyday, just because 😁.

0. The Slow Burn

Part 1 - the meet-cute

Part 2 - the coffee mug

Part 3 - the spicy song

Part 4 - the absence

Part 5 - the watch/the sweet song

Part 6 - the backrub

Warnings: None.

----------------------------------------------------------

“So,” Jess began, her eyes flicking up to gauge X’s reaction, “you and Miguel, huh? Can’t say I’m not surprised.”

She froze, her eyes widening with terror at the implication of Jess’s words. She swallowed her food slowly, trying to keep herself calm as she replied. “What about me and Miguel?”

“Oh, come on, X!” MJ gave her a light smack on the arm. “It’s so obvious that you guys like each other!” Another pause, another attempt at not choking on her food. Was it really? Did he like her? Like, like-like her? In the same way that she like-liked him? She kept her head down, trying to hide her blush from everyone else at the table.

“No way,” she protested weakly, pushing the last few grains of rice around her plate. She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “There’s no way he likes me. Like that.” How could he? When he was so handsome and strong and smart and … and she was just her. Small and quiet and with absolutely nothing to offer him. She slumped over, disappointed.

“Of course he does!” Ben reassured her, noting her sudden drop in mood. “It’s so obvious even I can tell.” Her lips twitched at that, but she kept her head down, still hesitant to believe it.

“I don’t know,” she argued softly. She bit her lip, considering the next words out of her mouth. “What … Why do you think so?” She looked up at them, the nerves written plainly all over her face. She must really, really like him. Jess grinned.

“Girl, you should have seen him when you weren’t around,” she informed X, waving her spoon in the air enthusiastically. “The man was basically throwing a tantrum the entire day!”

“Oh my God, yes!” Ben agreed, his eyes wide as he leaned forward in his seat. “I asked him if we had any cashew nuts left and he got so mad at me! He started cursing and swearing and everything!” X let out an amused snort at the revelation, finally seeming to ease up a little. She returned her attention back to her food, rolling the rice around her plate.

“What does that have to do with me, though?” MJ and Ben sighed, both of them exchanging incredulous glances.

“Because!” MJ replied, insistent on making her understand. They’d be so cute together, after all, the big and grumpy Miguel who only ever let himself relax when he was around her, and the small and shy X who’d light up with excitement whenever she was with him. They made each other happy, and what more could anyone ask for?

“Hey guys,” Peter began, settling into the seat beside X. “What are we talking about?” He looked around at their faces, trying to discern the subject from the excited looks on Ben’s, MJ’s and Jess’s faces and the hesitant smile on X’s.

“Peter!” MJ exclaimed, her expression transforming into one of victory as she looked at him. “Tell her! Tell X how much Miguel missed her when she was gone.” Ohhh. So that’s what they’d been talking about. X glanced over at him nervously, her eyes wide as she waited for his answer.

“It’s true,” Peter revealed, giving her a gentle pat on the forearm. “He was practically counting down the days until you came back!” She grinned, then lowered her head, letting her hair fall over her face to hide her blush.

“Oh.” Her voice was soft, but there was no mistaking the happiness in it. Then suddenly, a vibration buzzed through the air, causing her to jump in her seat. She looked down at her wrist and began tapping frantically on her watch, trying to stop the notification that her vitals were abnormally high.

“X? What’s wrong?” She turned around, startled to find Miguel standing right behind her. She froze, panicked, then turned around quickly, curling into herself to hide her expression from him.

“Nothing!” She winced when her voice came out as a squeak. Then she cleared her throat and tried again. “Um, nothing. What’s up with you, Miguel?”

He’d heard - he’d heard everything they’d said about him being agitated when she’d been away. And then he’d heard her heart, pounding in her chest at the thought that he might have missed her. He swung his leg over the bench, taking the seat on her other side. Then he glanced around at the others, his eyes narrowing in suspicion beneath his eye protectors.

“Are they bullying you?” She turned to him, lips parting in horror at the suggestion.

“No! No, they’re … they’re not bullying me.” She waved her hands, then lowered her head again, her lips curling into a shy smile that had his own heart racing. She brushed her hair behind her ear, then flickered her eyes back up to his, peeking up at him from beneath her curly lashes. Dios, she was cute. He cleared his throat, shaking away the thought.

“Then why was your heart beating so fast, arañita?” Oh God. Had he heard? Had he heard her heart speeding up at the thought that he might like her? That she most definitely liked him? As more than a friend? She pulled her gaze away from his, trying to ignore the warmth radiating off of him, the pure masculine scent of him flooding her senses.

“Um, did you … did you hear that?” she asked him apprehensively. “Or did you get a notification?” The corner of his lips curled at her reaction. Could it really be true? Could she really have had a crush on him? A passing infatuation that would wear off once she knew the real him? His stomach curdled at the thought, his smile slipping slightly.

“I heard it,” he told her, wanting to tease her, to see that shy smile grace her lips once again. She tensed, her fingers curling into fists as she studiously avoided meeting his gaze. He lowered his head, his lips stretching wider as he tried to get her to look at him. “¿Qué pasa, arañita? Is something bothering you?”

He straightened when she looked up at him again, that devilish smirk taking over his features. God, he was so hot. She squeezed her legs tight, dragging her gaze away from his as she clasped her hands together. He carried on, undeterred by her lack of response. “Or someone?”

He reached out and scratched her waist lightly with his finger, causing her to let out a surprised squeak. He snickered at the sound, only getting more amused when her watch started buzzing again, signalling the increase in her heart rate. MJ reached across the table and punched him in the arm.

“Stop teasing her like that, Miguel!” she scolded him when he turned to glare at her. He returned his attention to X, raising an eyebrow and feigning confusion.

“I’m not teasing her,” he argued, convincing absolutely no one at the table. “I’m just worried about her vitals being so high.” She shifted in her seat uncomfortably, wondering if he knew exactly why she was getting so flustered right now.

“I just have a naturally high resting heart rate,” she protested, still avoiding his gaze. “And I have an anxiety disorder! Therefore, I would like to petition for the sensitivity of my watch to be turned down. Just a little?” She held up her finger and thumb, wincing as she awaited his response. He smirked again, holding his hand out for hers.

“Well, if your vitals are naturally so abnormally high,” he began, fiddling with her watch, “then maybe we should increase the sensitivity. Just a little.” He pulled on her wrist, tugging her closer to him so that her knee was pressing against his. She let out a little whimper and, mierda, the sound of it, the reminder of how absolutely tiny she was compared to him, it drove him wild. He leaned down slightly, bending over to murmur in her ear.

“After all,” he continued, his fingers still curled around her wrist, “we wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to you, would we, arañita?” She looked up at him, eyes wide, lips parted in surprise, so close he could have leaned forward and brushed his own against them. Then her watch started vibrating again, and she pulled her hand out of his grasp, holding it close to her chest as she frowned up at him. Dios, she was cute when she was mad.

“You’re so mean, Miguel!” she huffed, getting up from the bench. She picked up her plate, going over to return it to the kitchen, and he followed after her, catching up to her easily.

“Arañita,” he called, grabbing her wrist to get her to stop. “I was only joking, arañita.” She set her plate down, then turned around to face him, that adorable frown still etched onto her features. He took a step closer to her, forcing her to crane her neck back to look up at him.

“Here, let me fix it,” he reassured her, tapping on her watch again. She held her breath as he worked, trying to keep herself calm even though their proximity was making her heart leap out of her chest and into her throat. Finally, he released her, letting her arm fall back to her side. “There. It should be better now.”

“Um, thanks, Miguel.” She clasped her hands behind her back, that shy smile taking over her features as she shifted in place. “See you tomorrow!” And then she ran off without another word. He crossed his arms, trying not to let out a frustrated groan as he watched her retreating figure. Ay, ¡por Dios! Why did she have to be so f*cking cute?!

She wasn’t here again - something about going out with a friend. But it was okay this time, because he knew he’d see her tomorrow. That didn’t stop the uncomfortable ache in his chest that made him feel like his day was missing something though. He rubbed his chin, studying the data in front of him. There was something he wasn’t seeing, something that X would have stared at for a minute and then figured out somehow. Maybe he’d just wait for her to come back.

“Lyla?” She popped up beside him immediately.

“Yes, boss?”

“Play some of that music that X always plays.”

“Copy that. Pulling up her playlist now.” She disappeared and then the sound of old-timey pop music began filling the room - well, old-timey to him anyway. He furrowed his brow, not recalling having heard this song before - he’d listen in sometimes, when she put her earphones in to start playing her music: because it helped her focus, she’d told him when he’d asked her about it. He’d grabbed her phone then, showing her how to connect it to the speaker system so that she could just play it out loud in the lab or the control room. Her eyes had widened with amazement and she’d treated him to that sweet smile he was getting far too fond of as her music started playing around them. He’d waved her thanks away, doing his best to ignore the way his heart fluttered in his chest as he turned back to his monitors.

‘Son esas ganas de sentirte cerca, al pronunciar tu nombre …’ He paused for a second, surprised by the Spanish flowing through the speakers. He knew she listened to Spanish songs sometimes, French ones too, but it always made his heart skip a beat, the reminder that she could understand his native tongue.

‘Qué está pasando, que esa carita divina, se ha vuelto mi medicina, y poco a poco yo me estoy sanando …’ His lips curled at the lyrics, a very specific little face popping into his head immediately: thick, curly lashes framing large, almond-shaped eyes, her full lips so soft and rosy. She had seemed to pop up in his life right when he'd needed it the most. And she never asked him for anything, nothing except his company, the two of them sitting in contented silence for hours at a time. And everything always seemed so much easier whenever she was around, less … scary. Just like in the song. He pulled out his tools, setting the data aside and deciding to work on some gadgets instead. He’d take a little break, come back to the problem after he’d given his brain some time to reset. And maybe she’d be back by then, there to lend a fresh set of eyes to the problem. But then the music started to fade away, the song changing to a new one, and he looked up, frowning.

“Lyla,” he called her back, “play the other one again. The Spanish one.” The song restarted and he felt his lips quirk at the ends again, the tension leaving his body as he settled down to get some work done.

She’d had fun today; going out with her friend to get some shopping done. But, of course, it still wasn’t as fun as hanging out with Miguel. So she’d changed into her suit when she’d gotten back, opening up a portal to take her to HQ. An unexpected sight greeted her when she entered the control room, however - or an unexpected sound, rather. Miguel stood on the platform, bobbing his head in time with the music as he fiddled with a gadget, his smooth, deep voice mumbling along to the lyrics of one of her favourite songs.

“Miguel?” she called to him, trying not to laugh as she webbed up to stand beside him. “What are you doing?”

¡Coño! He dropped his tools, startled by her sudden arrival. He hadn’t even heard her walk in, so absorbed had he been in the song. But what was she even doing here anyway? She wasn’t supposed to be back until tomorrow. She looked up at him, lips stretched into a wide smile, her face lit up with amusement as she waited for his answer.

“Uh …” he began slowly, trying to come up with a response. He gritted his teeth, flashing her an embarrassed grimace as he muttered out of the side of his mouth. “Lyla! Turn it off!” Thankfully, she did as he said, turning off the music without arguing back - for once. He let out an awkward chuckle.

“Uh, what are you doing here, arañita?” he asked. “I thought you said you wouldn’t be able to make it today.” She continued grinning at him, a hint of shyness tinging the edges of her knowing expression.

“Well, I … I wanted to see you,” she confessed, breaking his gaze for a moment. Then she looked up at him again, her features rearranged into an expression of mischief this time. “I didn’t know you missed me.”

“Oh.” He broke her gaze, afraid to use that word specifically to describe how he’d been feeling without her there. “Uh, well, it was just a little quiet, that's all.” He turned back to his desk, fiddling with the gadget there as he figured out what to say.

“Hmm.” She nodded thoughtfully and took a step closer to him, trying to tamp the happiness starting to bubble up in her chest. Had he really missed her? Just like the others had said? Just like she'd missed him? She kept her gaze fixed on his hands as she leaned into him, her eyes tracking the movements of his long fingers as he twisted and fidgeted with the gadget. “I missed you too, Miguel.”

He froze again, unsure if he’d heard right. He glanced over at her and found her gaze trained on the ground as she smiled and shifted on the spot shyly. His stomach flipped at the sight and he dragged his eyes away from her, tapping on the table nervously as he digested her response. She’d missed him - she’d missed him even though she’d only seen him yesterday. How much had she missed him then, that week she’d been away? As much as he’d missed her? He shook his head at the sudden thought, not wanting to admit how he felt about her - not even to himself. He bit his lip, thinking. Then he cleared his throat and returned his attention to the computer, pulling up the dataset he’d been having trouble with earlier.

“Uh, I … I was having some trouble analysing this data, arañita,” he informed her, turning to face her without meeting her gaze. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “Could you take a look at it?”

Of course he’d never use the word ‘help’ - probably an oldest sibling thing, considering how she still struggled to ask for help too, sometimes. She grinned, delighted by how well she was beginning to know him, how soft and easy everything was with him. She clasped her hands behind her back and turned her attention to the screen, trying to keep her heart beat steady as she studied the data in front of her.

“Okay, yeah, this is … not right,” she told him, lips still curled into an amused smile. He raised an eyebrow, confused.

“What do you mean?” She stretched onto her toes and pointed at a set of numbers that didn’t seem to fit with the rest.

“These numbers make no sense at all,” she informed him, lowering herself back down again. “I don’t know if you accidentally typed in the wrong numbers or something, but … this ain’t right, boss.” It was the way she always said it, that playful smile on her face, that teasing tone of her voice. Dios, it drove him mad. He tucked his hands under his arms, his muscles clenching as his stomach gave another flip.

“Vale, I’ll … I’ll go back and check the raw data,” he acquiesced, waving her away, needing her to leave so that he could work on getting his emotions back under his control again. “You should go home, arañita: it’s getting late.”

He was so cute, the way he kept rubbing the back of his neck or clearing his throat or pulling his gaze away from hers. Was he nervous? Around her? Now she wished she had some of his super senses, so she could hear his heartbeat and be sure of it. She tugged her chair over and sank back into it, swivelling around as she looked up at the screen. “I’ll wait. We can go through the data together.”

She turned to him, smiling up at him in a way that made his heart stop beating in his chest. And he wondered what it would sound like, hearing the words ‘I love you’ fall from those lips, what they would taste like beneath his own, her body small and soft in his hands. Just like in the song. He tensed up, suddenly realising the direction his thoughts had been going in, and turned away from her quickly. He was being ridiculous. They were just … colleagues. Just two strangers thrown together by unfortunate circumstances. Just … His stomach curdled with each excuse, the words weighing heavily on his heart. Even he hated how they sounded in his mind. He slid his gaze over to her and she smiled at him again, waiting. But he couldn't let himself indulge in … whatever this was. They'd only get hurt and she might not have been able to see that, but he … he knew better. He gripped the edge of the table, considering his next words.

“Uh, actually,” he began slowly, trying to come up with a lie that would get her to leave. Not something that would hurt her though - he knew he wouldn't be able to stand the crestfallen expression on her face if he hurt her. If anyone hurt her. “I was just going to get someone else to take a look at it. You said you'd have a lot to do at work this week, so I already got someone else to cover all your stuff.” He waved her off in a way that he hoped was an adequate mix of dismissal and reassurance. Not so dismissive as to make her think she wasn't valuable, but not so reassuring as to convince her that she meant more to him than anyone else at HQ. It was perfect.

She pursed her lips, thinking. She could see how careful he was to control his instinct to push people away. He was still afraid to let her get too close - hence the dismissal - but a part of him seemed to have begrudgingly accepted that she wouldn't be pushed away so easily. He was trying, and that was all she'd asked for. So, she wouldn't push him. She stood up and took a step closer to him, her brain running through all the possible responses she could leave him with. And then, she found it.

Tags: @leahnicole1219

“Great,” she replied unexpectedly, sidling up to him. “That means I get to spend more time with you.” She flashed him a cheeky smile, then opened up a portal to take her home, not giving him the chance to respond. Not that he would have had a response anyway: what could he say, after all, when she'd told him she'd missed him? When she'd said she liked spending time with him, just the two of them alone together? When he'd started to like it too? He sank back into his seat, clutching at his hair in frustration as he sighed loudly. Por Dios, she was going to be the death of him one day.

[thediktatortot]

I feel like Steve would be one of those people that's like deathly allergic to something like walnuts or pecans, something relatively easy to not encounter in day to day meals so no one ever even knows he had an allergy to begin with.

---

Steve sat at the dinner table squished between Dustin and Billy, the noise around him somewhat buzzing with conversation as the rest of the party talked over each other. It's Max's birthday and the kids decided to throw her a surprise party much to her embarrassment, but by this point she's completely forgotten about her dislike of surprises and is happily eating her slice of Pecan Pie.

Billy had said she loved the stuff and always asked her mom for it when they lived in California so he figured she would appreciate that more than a cake. So they made one.

Well, Steve hadn't, Billy had made the thing by himself because Steve had come up with the excuse of being the one to go get supplies so he didn't have to touch it, allergic to the Pecans. He'd never really told anyone about his allergy, not really seeing the need too when he rarely even encountered the things at all.

But now? There it sat, something beyond his reach.

It seemed to taste good if Max's face was anything to go by, and Steve had always enjoyed Pie's in general. He could have peanuts, cashews and pistachios without any issues, mostly the other nuts causing him to have a sore throat but nothing as bad as Pecans. His parents had gotten him an allergy panel when he was a little kid, so luckily he never had to find out the hard way.

But now he was curious. Now he wanted just a taste.

On impulse, Steve reached out and cut a chunk of the pie with his fork and stuffed it in his mouth, chewing the sweet and nutty pie with a hum.

"Wow, that's actually really good."

Billy and a few others gave Steve a curious but confused look, Mike piping up first. "What, never had Pecan Pie before?"

Steve finished chewing, swallowing the pie while staring at his fingers holding the fork with a thoughtful look as his tongue began to tingle and his body began to feel hot, thinking to himself it was a good thing they were at his house and he knew exactly where the Epi-pen was.

"huh?" He looked up, looking from Mike to Billy who was now staring at Steve's cheeks, red quickly creeping up from his neck and hairline. "Oh! No-... I'm actually extremely allergic and I really wanted to see what they tasted like."

A chorus of cries and barks of anger burst out from the group as Steve pushed up from his seat calmly, "I'll uh...go get my Epi-pen."

End

---

I know that sometimes people with extreme allergies also need additional medical assistance after using their Epi-pen so please don't do this in real life. I'm lucky enough to rarely ever encounter my actual deadly allergy anywhere in normal life.

[actualbird]

i just know peanut is building the most beautiful and perfect best for when his girlfriend lays the eggs and luke pearce is going to promptly freak out that his bird son got some action and now he has grandkids

1 ) YES, PEANUT WLD SPOIL HIS BIRD GIRLFRIEND TO THE MAX, both because hes a very good bird and also because. think about it. the two guys peanut knows The Most is luke pearce (tenderness and yearning extraordinaire) and aaron yishmir (professional Wife Guy). peanut knows that his main job as a partner is to shower his bird beloved in affection and all the trinkets she could possibly want

2 ) SCREAM.

[nxx group chat, 4am]

luke: HELP???? IM A GRANDFATHER????

luke: IDK IF IM READY FOR THIS KIND OF RESPONSIBILITY

artem: why are you awake

mc: HUH???

marius: SINCE WHEN DID U HAVE CHILDREN, MUCH LESS GRAND ONES?????

vyn: [not present, as it is too early and his phone notifs are switched off from 10pm to 9am]

luke: //sends picture of peanut and bird girlfriend and new eggs

mc: OHHHHHH

mc: my god, talk abt giving me a heartattack

marius: those. are Eggs

luke: EGGS THAT MY SON SIRED

marius: ur BIRDSON

mc: congrats!!!! have u thought of names?

luke: of course ive thought of names im thinking more nuts, cashew, pecan, and almond

marius: bro ur missing the golden oppurtunity to name one of them jelly

marius: peanut. jelly. Please.

mc: jelly is already what luke decided to call peanut's gf!!!

marius: HELL YEAH

luke: RIGHT? HELL YEAH

artem: werent you just anxious 3 minutes ago?

luke: fuck. right. i forgot

mc: nnNNOOO ARTEM WHY DID U REMIND HIM

luke: IM NOT READY TO BE A GRANDFATHER!!!!!!!!!!!

[bakawitch]

Back to the miraculous nonsense! (I still can't draw kwamis lol) These are mid tier kwamis, not quite as powerful as the top tier kwamis, but more powerful than the bottom tier kwamis. Since from here on out it's not going to be blatantly obvious which ballet roles the kwamis are based on, I'll also make a mention of those.

Teddi, the Bear Kwami of Manifestation

(Clara, The Nutcracker)

Teddi is an adorable little rascal, if not a bit blunt. He tends to be a little headstrong, but he excels at giving people confidence boosts when they feel down. His favourite food is blueberries!

and

Keshuu, the Squirrel Kwami of Demolition

(The Nutcracker, The Nutcracker)

Keshuu is possibly the most rational of the bunch. She's really good at talking people through their thoughts, but due to her unfiltered honesty, she tends to come off as a bit cold. Her favourite food is cashew nuts!

Top Tier Kwamis , Mid Tier Kwamis Pt 2 , Mid Tier Kwamis Pt 3 , Bottom Tier Kwamis Pt 1 , Bottom Tier Kwamis Pt 2 , Bottom Tier Kwamis Pt 3 , Bottom Tier Kwamis Pt 4 , Bottom Tier Kwamis Pt 5 , Bottom Tier Kwamis Pt 6 , Bottom Tier Kwamis Pt 7