#cause I absolutely love the show but I can still acknowledge its flaws

[that-one-scorpia-kinnie]

Recently I've been feeling an urge to look at posts made by She Ra antis when I don't actually want to do that, and honestly, why do I do this to myself? All it does to me is make me fucking sad and anxious, and it makes me feel like some scumbag degenerate for just enjoying a show. I feel like a lot of the antis water the show's plot down and make it look worse than it actually is.

[bluedalahorse]

on flaws as opportunities and organizing the beef

I’m in the place now where I have enough distance from Young Royals season 3 to think about what felt flawed about it for me, and it led me to some interesting revelations about how I understand the characters and the story.

And to be clear: this does not mean I didn’t love season 3 with every fiber of my being, or that I think it sucks forever. Even a great production has flaws. The wonderful thing about being in fandom is that we love our shows deeply but also like to pick them apart, and in picking them apart we come up with ideas for future fics and fix its and character studies. Writing flaws are always an opportunity.

Anyway…

Thesis statement: Wilhelm and Simon don’t actually have the same beef with August, and the show should recognize that.

Or, to put it more formally, August causes them different problems that need to be addressed differently. I think that by acknowledging that more directly, and leaning into the discomfort that creates between Wille and Simon as a couple, the writers could have cleaned up some of the Wilmon-related messiness I saw in season 3 and have been mulling over for a while.

Caveat: I still need to do a full, formal rewatch of the third season. But I’ve rewatched here and there these are my preliminary thoughts.

To start, let’s recap Wille and Simon’s conflicts with August in season 1. For Simon, August is a bully and a gatekeeper when it comes to the world of Hillerska. He makes fun of Simon for being “socialist” and puts Simon in a position where he’s bringing in alcohol and then drugs for richer students’ recreation. August doesn’t pay Simon back for the alcohol the first time, which also shows a profound lack of awareness of Simon’s financial situation. Despite bullying Simon, there are times in August’s mind that he probably thinks he’s done Simon a favor. I do think, as flawed as he is about it and as much as he’s making weird speeches and doing aggressive forehead kisses, August assumes he’s really helped Simon out by getting him on the rowing team. But from Simon’s point of view this is all just more gatekeeping. Simon sees Hillerska as his ticket out of Bjärstad, and he wants to succeed in his merits as a student and a musician. But the way August treats him reminds him that his talent matters less than how many favors he can do rich boys. It also reminds him that he’s expendable to Hillerska students—August is absolutely ready to let Simon take the fall for the drugs when he feels it threatens his position.

Wille, meanwhile, is not excluded or gatekept by August but rather included more than he wants to be. Prior to the release of the video, Wille mostly finds August’s “come here and let me play your surrogate big brother” antics annoying. The debate over whether to let Simon or Alexander take the fall for the drugs is something that increases Wille’s ire toward August and makes it more serious, enough that we see Wille out August for his money troubles. But Wille also entrenches himself further in the system as a result of their argument—he still uses Alexander as a scapegoat, and he offers to pay August’s boarding fees afterward as an attempt to restore the peace between them. Their relationship isn’t seriously fractured until August releases the video. This harms Wille in the sense that it sets Wille up to deny his authentic self and makes it hard for him to engage in intimacy without trauma getting in the way. In essence, it puts Wille in a similar position of trauma that August was put in when the Erik and the third years initiated him. (Much much much more publicly, yes, but let’s note that transfer of trauma, because YR is about cycles.) 

The video also throws Wilhelm into a space where he starts to doubt his connection with Erik, because Erik told Wilhelm he could trust August. At the end of 3.4, Wille tells August that Erik would hate what he did, but I suspect he’s been wrestling with the uncertainty over whether Erik would really accept him and Simon for a long time. I don’t know if Wille really trusts Erik even though he says he does. In my opinion, it’s August’s release of the video that first brings this sense of doubt about Erik into Wille’s mind, and for three seasons we’re watching him slow burn toward actually voicing that doubt and grappling with it.

I think it’s tempting to believe that the trauma of the video release unites Wilhelm and Simon against August, and makes them feel the same sense of pain and loss, but ultimately I don’t know if that’s true. I’m not sure I see Wille and Simon as two boys in love against the world, at least not in a way that isn’t complicated. For Wille, the video affects his ability to express himself authentically and makes him doubt his relationships with his family. For Simon, the scandal of the video will now forever follow him when he wants to break free of Bjärstad and become recognized for his own merits. These are different harms from the same event that need to be dealt with differently.

One of Wille’s flaws is that he doesn’t fully realize that. I think he tends to center himself without realizing it, and sees the harm that happens to Simon as an extension of harm to himself. I actually think this is pretty interesting, and pretty in line with how Wille would have been raised as a prince. We see Kristina telling him that everything he does reflects on her and the family, so it’s natural that Wille might see a threat against Simon as a threat to himself without really thinking through how they’re going to be impacted differently. And the “prince” as a literary archetype has always been somewhat rooted in the “rescue” of others.

I explained this to @heliza24 and she said something really smart, which is, “the thing that necessarily gets lost when you muddy that is how much Wilhelm’s violations of Simon resemble August’s violations of Wilhelm.” And she’s right. I’d been trying to find a way to say that some of Wille’s actions in s3 remind me of August’s more toxic traits, and that part of Wille’s hamartia in s3 is he can’t see the ways he’s behaving similarly to August even as he shuts August out. When August releases the video, it puts Wille in a position where the royal court and Kristina are forcing him to conform more-more-more, and to hide his authentic voice from the world. Wille in turn inflicts that on Simon, acting as the royal court’s mouthpiece when they want Simon’s songs or May Day pictures deleted. We see Simon worn down to the point where he’s almost fading away. It’s actually pretty upsetting.

To that end: I also can’t help draw parallels between Wilhelm’s insistence on public gestures of affection with Simon and the way August and Felice walk arm in arm after they get together, the way he clearly wants to be seen with her. I also look at the way Wille craves Simon’s constant emotional support—especially on the night of his birthday—and see August reaching out to Sara as his emotional support lifeline.

Now, for what it’s worth, I still don’t see Wille as this awful, irredeemable person. (I don’t see August as this irredeemable person either, for that matter, and this is part of why I see Wille and August’s healing as intertwined and interdependent.) But I do think one place that season 3 fell flat for me was in the way Wille never got to recognize that his own issues with August and Simon’s issues with August weren’t exactly alike. And for Wille to recognize that some of the things he’s trying to do to heal aren’t equally healing for Simon. (Seriously, I almost tore my hair out when Wille joined the choir. It wasn’t a romantic gesture to me—I found it creepy! Let Simon have one space to himself!) 

It probably would have helped to have one scene where Simon articulates that to Wille, and really point it out. I get it if we don’t have time for Simon and August to resolve their shit in one season, and since Wille is the protagonist, he and August resolving their shit is going to take precedence. But when Wille and August are still at odds in the first part of the season, I do feel this vibe where like, Wille assumes he’s the avenger for wrong done to both him and Simon. And I kind of wanted to see that reckless avenger vibe get addressed.

@heliza24 probably describes this better than I do, but season three does have a habit of obscuring Simon’s agency from the audience, mostly so the writers can manipulate the audience’s reactions to Wilhelm and Simon, and especially so they can keep us in the dark about the fate of the Wilmon relationship during the breakup cliffhanger between episodes 5 and 6. I don’t know if this was the greatest choice, to dangle the cliffhanger over our heads, because it ends up moving a lot of Wille’s development into the last 10-15 minutes of the season and creates an issue in pacing and character arc. I wonder if they could have spaced his character arc out a little more and infused the tension into other moments and ideas. I think that could have been more satisfying.

Incidentally, this is a season 3 writing problem that’s foreshadowed in season 2 with the way Felice and Wille’s friendship is written. Felice essentially becomes Wille’s confidant as Wille attempts revenge on August. This makes sense, as Felice has her own beef with August based on how awfully he treated her in their relationship, and she’s friends with Wille, so it’s a natural alliance. But once again, it’s different beef, impacted by Felice moving through the world as a Black girl with a rich white mom, and not a white boy prince, and Felice never gets a chance to say so. Maybe it shouldn’t matter, but it does matter because season 2 episode 3 ends with… Wille kissing Felice just to feel something!!! And at the beginning of episode 4 everyone’s talking about what happened and what might be a new relationship between Wille and Felice!!! Gosh does that remind anyone of Felice’s predicament in the middle of season 1? It sure does remind the random girl in the choir, who says Felice only dates bluebloods!

The thing is, I wish Felice had been able to make that comparison more explicitly in her conversations with Wilhelm. Things obviously don’t get as bad with Wilhelm as they do with August, and Wille and Felice talk things out. But Felice doesn’t get to express herself about that as much as I wanted her to, and we don’t get much of a sense as to whether or not this changes Felice’s views of Wille’s revenge plot. She forgives him pretty quickly, and I don’t know if she should have. Just a little more careful planning on the writers’ parts could have given Felice the agency she needed in season 2.

Anyway! Let’s talk about stakes. The stakes for Wilhelm in season 3 are that he’ll become August—or more accurately, that he’ll construct an armored facade like August has constructed to get through life, and that he’ll hurt other people in the process. (This is true for Wille even with him being queer, I think. Wille may be queer, but his whiteness and wealth and power and literal hired staff of PR-minded humans are going to frame how the rest of the world responds to that queerness.) Whereas for Simon, Sara, and Felice the danger is that, in order to maintain their place in the upper class system, they’ll become dependent on someone like future August or future Wilhelm, who has a lot of power and spends most of their life in armored facade mode. 

Wilhelm and August reconciling is still important, because when they recognize one another’s humanity, they can actually be vulnerable with one another the way they need to be, and take that armor off. And I think by forging that relationship with one another, they have a space to really question the values they are raised with and act better to loved ones in the future. But we’re really just witnessing the first step. And there’s a lot more steps they need to take with one another, and with the other people in their lives.

What can I learn from this as a fan and writer?

Thinking about this actually helped me understand a point of view in fandom that I’ve always disagreed with. I still disagree with it, but I think I understand it better now. Periodically I’ll encounter points of view where August is seen as the worst kind of evil, the sort of person where you unite with each other to take him down once and for all. You know… Avengers Assemble! Or something. In some fan’s minds, he’s the kind of guy everyone at Hillerska should turn against at once and ultimately reject for the sake of narrative catharsis. A symbol of the corrupt system and nothing more.

And I never really saw August that way. He can be awful and annoying at times, and extremely harmful at other times. He often makes things much worse for our other main characters a lot of the time. Often times he is the most direct representative of the system that’s causing them problems. On the other hand, he’s also capable of really, truly caring about people and community, as much as he gets in his own way about it. We also know a greater extent of his trauma now and how it affects him. All in all he seems as human and as in need of liberation as all the other characters of Young Royals. It makes sense that he’s the one of five who hasn’t left behind the system yet, but I feel like one day he can maybe get there. I feel like those are the writers’ intentions, and the show’s intentions overall. Certainly this is also the version of August that Malte’s acting reflects.

I think I also understand now why I don’t always see eye to eye with others about Wille. I adore Wille, but I think sometimes the assertion others make that “Wille has one brain cell and it’s being in love with Simon” feels threatening to me rather than adorable. Wille is really really fascinating to me in that falling in love nudges him to question things about his position, but it doesn’t erase his relationship to his privilege entirely, and he can be pretty flawed in how he understands his power and how it plays out in a relationship. I think for others, they might see Wille as protective and caring toward Simon. Whereas I see him (and prefer to see him portrayed) as intending to be protective but definitely at times overstepping and putting Simon in a more negative place than before. I think part of this is caused by a writing problem in seasons 2 and 3. We see the negative impact the relationship can have on Simon—look it absolutely breaks my heart when Ayub mentions how Simon deleting his social media will make him sad—but I don’t know if Simon gets as much of a chance to articulate that to Wille or even to the audience as I want him to. And I also see Simon and Wille’s very different conflicts with August as part of that.

Moving forward… these flaws in seasons 2 and 3 don’t ruin my love of the show. They aren’t me saying the show is bad. They’re disappointing, because Young Royals is so good in so many ways that it sucks when it does let us down. But basically everything I like has a flaw one way or another, because literally no work is perfect. And right now I’d rather look at the flaws in YR and say, this is something I can learn from and play with in fanfic.

(And sometimes there are times when tumblr wants to explain all the flaws of a show away and idealize it and I wonder… can we not do that? Because sometimes claiming a show is perfect and flawless limits discussion and creativity. I get just as frustrated with people idealizing the Wilmon pairing and putting it on a moral pedestal, which has ultimately led to me blocking the tag from my dash. I like them a lot more when I think about them as complex teenage humans who fuck up a lot and not a godlike ideal of romance. I love them, your honor! But I think I need to love them independent of the tag.)

As for where this goes in fanfic, I think this once again leaves things open for fans to explore. Once again, I think there’s a whole interesting story to be explored in terms of how August and Simon work through their shit, and how that really has to happen in a space that’s in part independent of Wille. A shared relationship with Wilhelm might be the catalyst for why they’re working through their shit, but some of what’s going to happen has to happen without him there. (For what it’s worth, I think we see flashes of Simon and August beginning to understand one another throughout the series—Simon is running some really interesting mental calculus when he realizes August has an eating disorder, shout out to Omar’s acting there—but those threads always get dropped or interrupted. It’s infinitely frustrating to me as someone who likes both characters and wanted to see them talk honestly for once but didn’t quite get that.)

I also think this gives me interesting questions about where Wille and Simon’s relationship could go next in fanfic. Independent of the monarchy, I think Wille is still going to have to work through his instinct to be an angry avenger or reckless rescuer at times, and the part where he assumes he and Simon are harmed in the same way by the same things. Even in a world where Wille doesn’t have a title, he’ll still have wealth and white privilege that Simon doesn’t. And I don’t think that has to get in the way of their future happiness, but watching them navigate through that is something that draws me into a story idea.

So, you know. This has been an update on my fannish desires. At least, my fannish desires that do not involve the rest of the YR characters, various ships on Heartbreak High, and Interview with the Vampire season 2 finally airing today. There’s a lot going on in this brain and none of it is the work I need to get done.

[carefulnowprincess]

Rumors (Daemon Targaryen x Fem Reader)

A/N: Happy New Year! I'm starting 2023 off strong with some smut as always, but this time it was for a fun HOTD holiday exchange. I really hope @magpie-to-the-morning loves it! Happy Reading! :)

Daemon Targaryen x Fem Reader (18+ ONLY)

Warnings: PIV sex, oral (male and female receiving), teasing, talk of masturbation, high Valyrian, dragons, doggystyle, a little bit of hair pulling, some plot cause this girl cannot focus without something, short haired Daemon

Length: 3,500K

“Rōvēgrior Caraxes, rōvēgrior.”

Within earshot, you heard Prince Daemon praising his dragon, or The Blood Wyrm as he was known to call him. You took notice of the bond between them both at a young age.

But growing up alongside House Taragaryen had its advantages and disadvantages: you had the opportunity to put your hands into the pot of their flaunting wealth, hearing the first whispers in Kings Landing of whom should rule after the passing of King Viserys, and of course, being desirably close to Prince Daemon. 

Oh, how you wanted him.

The main disadvantage came from wanting him so. You knew what he was; a whore for anyone he could get his hands on especially in Flea Bottom’s best brothels and the upper-class men and women of Kings Landing. He was known to have a nasty temper toward anyone who was indecorous to himself or his family, easily splitting men in half with his sword named Dark Sister. While it often turned your stomach to his display of attitude in killing, his smile, blonde hair, and confidence in himself and House Taragaryen was what stole the show for you.

The flaws of being so close to the royal family also came with having to see Prince Daemon with Mysaria everywhere he went. She followed him like an annoying leech, sucking the blood (and then some) out of him. He was clearly annoyed by her presence yet you never were quite sure why he kept her at his side all these years.

Perhaps the largest downside to being madly in love with a prince of royalty was he never took much notice of you. Yes, you were a dragonrider yourself, a lesser-known but still acknowledged in Kings Landing. You acquired your dragon and your riding skills as a teenager, a few years younger than Daemon was himself at the time. Your crush had become an internal obsession, one that only very few trusting friends were aware of. Did you hold your breath when he passed by? Of course. Would you chuckle following a joke he had heard himself? Without a doubt. Were your fingers numb from touching yourself each night while you imagined him fucking you and filling you up, tying you down, and saying a simple praise he had told you once about how tightly you held the reins of your own dragon?

Absolutely.

Your pussy ached at the thought of him each day, rubbing together your legs in hopes to calm yourself when you were unable to lay down and give yourself that pleasure you so desperately ached for.

As weeks became years, you continue to lust after the Prince wondering why he himself had not settled down with someone even that vile Mysaria.

“Rumor is that he is looking for someone that he can ride with, and don’t mean just some silly flight around Westeros,” your best friend murmured to you one day. Your confidant was a handmaiden inside the Red Keep who took a special interest in your little infatuation with Daemon. She overheard this latest news while in the bed chamber of another family member of House Targaryen. Your eyes widened at this information. Your heart soared for a moment but instantly sunk knowing he wouldn’t bat an eye at you. A frown covered your normal cheerful face.

“While that normally is happy news to my ears, it is unlikely that anything would come of it with me,” you said just above a whisper, eyes darting to each side to make sure you were both still alone. Your friend placed a light hand on your shoulder and gave a gentle squeeze.

“You’re an amazing dragonrider, if he doesn’t notice you by now he’s a fool,” she said with reassurance.

You gave a small scoff. “By now? It’s been years, he barely looks at me. He takes more notice of my dragon anyway,” you said. It’s true, your dragon, Neercostes, was something of a spectacle around Kings Landing. He had beautiful brown scales and smooth orange accents while he breathed fire that shimmered like gold with curious red eyes. You loved him dearly like he was your own child, yet, you still longed for something more.

Something more that you could see in Prince Daemon.

Your friend frowned. “Don’t say such a thing, in time, perhaps he will come around,” she said with reassurance. You shrugged.

“Perhaps,” you replied simply and went off your own way. Pulling out your riding gloves from your pocket you made your way to the Dragonpit. You had hoped a ride on Neercostes would clear your mind of the ill news you had just received except you were met with a sight you had rather hoped to not see.

“Prince–Daemon,” you stuttered, thrown off that he now stood in front of you as he climbed to Caraxes’ back.

Daemon took notice of you easily and smiled, patting his dragon’s side before he decided against pulling himself up.

“Ah, look who it is. What might you be doing down here?” He asked with a curious tone.

“I–I just thought I would take an evening ride to clear my head, so to speak,” you stated as you stood still completely forgetting where your legs were supposed to be taking you.

“Clear your head? Bad news got you down jorrāelagon?” He asked with his tongue lingering on the last word in Valyrian. You knew what it meant: dear.

“One could say that. Just hoping for better news ahead of me, I mean–I’m sorry my Prince, I’m just blathering on now–”

“Nonsense, I’m sure it could be of some entertainment to me,” Daemon stated with a chuckle.

You had found your feet finally, moving towards Caraxes and him slowly as not to upset the Blood Wyrm. 

“You see, just someone who I have pined for many years wants someone better than what I can offer…” you lingered on before you quickly shut your mouth.

In the darkness of the pit with little light to be shown that for a few flames of torches, you watched the magnificent prince make his way towards you, towering over you. He smirked.

“What is it that you cannot offer? You seem to be quite capable if I say so myself,” Daemon stated, his eyes darting from your head to your riding boots. You may have even notice him take a peek at your bosom, but you were too dumbstruck by his comment you couldn’t even be sure.

Swallowing, you went eye-wided when his gloved fingers touched at a strand of your hair.

“Maybe it is not so relevant for you to know my Prince,” you said, trying to think of some lame excuse.

“Everything is my business in Kings Landing. Tell me, I’m sure it is nothing that I cannot handle,” he stated, continuing to rub his fingers between your hair. You felt your cheeks heat up with embarrassment and slight desire with him being so close to you and from spilling your own deep desire.

“A–a man whom I’m acquainted with stated they wanted someone who was a marvelous dragonrider but I realized I do not think I could live up to their expectations,” you stated trying to avoid his gaze. You chose instead to look fondly at his fingers upon you before he moved his covered hand towards your chin in order to meet your gaze. 

Daemon smirked and pondered his response to you for a moment. “Does this news have anything to do with a certain man who is in this place right now?” He asked. 

You bit your lip sheepishly and nodded. You couldn’t help but stare into his pierced purple eyes and felt the slight pull of him onto you even further. Gods, he has never been closer to you…

The Prince’s lips came close to yours, thinking you were in a fever dream before he pulled back and let out a roarous laughter.

“Who do you think made up that rumor dovodedha ābra? Of course, I would love someone who could ride with me anywhere I desired, well, where we desired to be,” he said, walking behind you. Your heart was beating fast, pacing out of your chest at this news and what he was doing to you in this moment.

“I–my Prince? Why would you make up such a rumor?” You asked, staring into the darkness. You felt warm fingers along your shoulders. He must have removed his gloves in the process of going behind you. Your hands were fisted at either side of you, tight and gripping unsure where to move them to. A warm breath was felt upon the back of your neck, moving to your shoulder.

“Bordeom possibly, or I am only trying to seek out the best dragonriders Westeros has to offer. I am sure that is you, is it not?” He asked with more confidence then what you have spoken in the last few minutes of being in the Dragonpit. 

Daemon’s fingers squeezed at your shoulders and you could not help to long for him to touch your further even if it was false hope for his desire for you.

“But Prince Daemon, you barely take notice of me, how could you know I–”

“Are an amazing dragonrider? Iā ābra hen pōja own zaldrīzes? Do not be so fucking foolish. You think I do not pay attention to you each time you are here, when you walk around, see you fly on Neercostes? Makes my cock practically hurt when I see you land,” he said with want. You rubbed your legs together at the mere mention of his cock and his thirst for you. 

“I would assume you have not taken much notice of me my Prince. You–don’t speak to me much,” you admitted. Daemon let go of your shoulders and spun you around. His face gazed down into yours, eyes shining in the darkness. His hand held you around your neck and let his forehead touch yours in a comforting gesture. Your head was spinning at the closeness he was displaying.

With eyes closed, you felt the sigh of Prince Daemon’s breath on your face. “I admit, it was hard to approach you in front of everyone, I wanted to be sure however. I’ve seen how we have grown up together, how much we have learned and yet, you also never approached me,” he said with a sadness in his voice. Your eyes fell open and pulled back from his face.

“How could I? You’re a fucking Prince of House Taragaryen! What would everyone think? You’d want some slight upper class whore like me?!” You said with anger. Daemon laughed and pulled you to his chest.

“That’s exactly right zaldrīzes kipagīros, and exactly why I could have you. I am a Prince and I can have anything and anyone I want and what I want is you,” he said with assurance in his voice. You gave him a look of confusion.

“And what of Mysaria, why is still at your side like some long lost flea bag dog?” Daemon cackled with his head thrown back.

“Oh her? She’s just a decent fuck when I don’t have someone I hunger for,” he said simply. You were taken back by his casual approach to his relationship with Mysaria. Were you jealous? Of course you were, but only because he seemed to actually pay some attention to her.

“Well, why are you waiting until this moment to tell me all of this? I have–ached for you for too many years,” you said, quieting your voice down on the last words. Prince Daemon frowned, his thumb caressing your cheek.

“I told you, I wanted to be sure of my desire for you was fruitful and true. I seem to have an impact upon you, do you not agree?” He said. You nodded.

“Then why not let your yearning come to light? Let me show how much I hunger for you, a skilled zaldrīzes kipagīros with beauty and strength,” he said quietly, his lips an inch from yours. You felt desire go straight between your legs before you did the unthinkable and pulled his face to yours in a deep kiss. The result came to be of moaning, tongues dancing together as you both foolishly forgot where you were, groping each other in such a manner that only the roar of Caraxes made you aware of your surroundings. Your eyes darted to his dragon before Daemon laughed.

“I think we can fix this problem, and for Caraxes as well,” he said. Your lips felt bruised from kissing but you took Daemon’s hand as soon as he offered it to you as you were pulled to Daemon and to climb aboard his dragon.

“My Prince?” You asked. He reassured you with a deep kiss.

“Trust me,” he said, before he instructed you to hold on tight and gave the command to Caraxes to begin his flight out of the Dragonpit.

It was a short journey from Kings Landing to the outside of the peninsula, inside the hilly forests that lay lush with greenery. Even during warm summer nights it was a thing of beauty, one that you did not get to see often usually only staying inside of Kings Landing and simply soaring over. Caraxes landed over a plain green field before Daemon helped you down from his dragon’s back to pull you close to his body with and squeezed your ass causing you to be surprised.

“Daemon why are we here?” You asked as he kissed at your neck, a soft moan escaping your lips as you made a quick survey of the area. Daemon bit at your neck and groaned.

“Believe it or not, sometimes I want privacy when I fuck,” he said simply, yanking on your top. You laughed slightly at his admittance but nodded as he pulled at the rest of your clothing to be removed, settling yourselves far away enough from Caraxes but still alone.

You laid on your clothing, almost now completely nude, looking up at your Prince with a smile.

“I find that hard to believe, considering I’ve heard plenty of other rumors about you,” you said. Daemon laughed.

“Is that so? Such as?” He said as he removed his own clothing. You watched him with lustful eyes, almost taken back by what rumors you heard of. You felt wetness pool between your legs as you rubbed them together. 

“That you fucked thirty people in Flea Bottom’s brothel in an entire night,” you said as you helped him remove his pants. You swallowed as his hard cock became free, standing at attention with precum glistening in the moonlight. Wettening your palm with your tongue, you began to stroke Daemon’s cock from the tip to his balls, rubbing up and down causing Daemon to lose track of his response. He moaned.

“That is–fuck–indeed a rumor. I’ve only fucked fifteen people at one time in that brothel,” he said, grabbing onto the top of your head as your tongue met the tip and gave it a lovingly swirl with your mouth. You suckled hard and licked your way down his shaft and licked at his balls, giving him the attention you so desperately wanted to.

“Now, do you want to continue rumors or want this story to be truthful of fucking one of the best dragonriders Kings Landing has to offer?” You gave a small chuckle.

“I don’t know, rumors can still be entertaining,” you said, your mouth popping off of his cock. You went to work on his head, sucking as he gripped onto head harder. You moaned at the feeling, bobbing your head up and down on his cock. Daemon groaned at this feeling.

“You are a wicked thing, perhaps I should see if you taste just as sinful,” he said as he gestured you to remove your mouth from him. Daemon came to lay on top of you, kissing you with his tongue, mouths together and mixing with desire and heat. Moaning into each other’s mouth, he made his way to bite at your neck and down your chest, grabbing at your breasts and kneading hard. He pinched at your nipple, the other covered by his mouth. You moaned at the feeling.

“Fuck, my Prince…” you trailed on, feeling his hands and body move down yours, kissing past your stomach and reaching your clothing still covering your lower half.

“Do you think you’re sinful? Do you want these rumors to spread like these legs spread so easily for me?” He said. Your legs did exactly as he said and spread open for him before he moved your bottom clothing to reveal your wet pussy. 

“I don’t know, do wish for those rumors to go around?” You asked suggestively. 

“Well, it is always a good thing to hear gossip of rulers, keeps the people amused and I love amusement,” he said, spreading your pussy and rubbing along your clit slowly and down your enterance. You moaned at the feeling, head laying back to stare at the stars above. His finger dipped inside of you, shortly followed by another finger to hit you in that wonderful spot that would help you see more than stars.

“Oh Daemon, that’s it,” you babbled as he fingered you just right, moving his body up to suckle on your breast again. His cock rubbed against your stomach and you could not help but notice how large it felt against you. 

Your head in haze watched as your Prince released his mouth from your breast and made his mouth back down to your pussy, licking slowly at your clit in a circle causing you to moan loudly, his fingers still torturing you in the best way possible. Your hands reached at his short white hair pulling at it. Daemon groaned at the feeling.

“You really are as sinful as they come, aren’t you?” He said, tongue replacing his fingers. You ignored his question and bucked your hips into his mouth, grinding your cunt against his tongue. You were above the clouds, so close to touching the stars that it felt impossible when the flick of his tongue made you cum, gripping onto his head. You cried out with his name in your mouth while Daemon never let you go, drinking every last drop of you that he could handle. He groaned as you came onto his tongue before you pushed him off of you overstimulated and panting but still wanting more.

“How do you want me my Prince?” You asked, pulling him up to you to nip at his ear. Daemon’s cock was red and hard with desire as he stroked it with his hand.

“On all fours so I can really see what it is like riding you from behind,” he purred against your ear. You did as wished getting onto all fours ready to receive him. Daemon grabbed at your hips and smacked your ass causing you to yelp out in surprise, a flood of fresh desire going to your pussy.

“Anything you want my–” you couldn’t speak as his cock impaled into your wet pussy with no resistance, his rhythm slow for a moment before gaining speed. You cried out at the feeling your hands twisting into your clothing beneath you. His cock was so large that the burn felt maginificent. Prince Daemon pulled onto your hips and continued to smack at your ass, your head buried into the ground. You yelled out in desire and ecstasy, already ungodly close to your release.

“Qogralbar ao sagon sīr ȳrda,” he murmured, something that was beyond your comprehension in Valyrian. He yanked onto your hair, gripping hard as you whined in desire. As you were nearing your peak, you pulled from his hold on you as took over to get on top of Daemon, surprising him and giving you a chuckle.

“What is this peldio?” He asked with lust. You smiled as you kissed him.

“Just showing you what it is really like to ride your dragonrider my Prince,” you said. You bounced on his cock, hips grinding against him. Daemon felt like he could cum at any second. Normally he was not the one to be taken over when he was fucking someone, but surprises were always welcome. You moaned above him, hands holding onto his shoulders as his own hands found your breasts to fondle. 

“You really do know how to ride me like a dragon, I’m–fuck–surprised,” he groaned. You laughed a little, quickening your speed as you bounced on him. Soon Daemon’s cock wanted more of you, his hands moving to your hips and pounding his way upwards into your pussy. This surprised you as you moaned loudly letting him take over.

“If you don’t stop I’m going to–”

“Cum all over your Prince’s cock? Of course you are,” he said with assurance. Your body fell onto his chest as he fucked you moving your mouth to his for you to kiss each other in a desperate need. 

“Oh, I’m cumming, I’m going to cum any moment my–”

You head pulled from his lips, whining out his name again as he felt the constriction of your pulsing cunt around his cock. His own wanting quickly caught up to him as he came into you, pressing his body as much as he could. He gritted out your name against your ear, fanning it with hot air as you both shared an agonizingly slow kiss.

You slumped downward and pulled yourself from his cock as you felt his seed seep down your thigh. You groaned in satisfaction at fulfilling your long-filled captivation with Prince Daemon of House Targaryen. 

“So, should I spread this rumor or should you?” You asked.

Daemon chuckled.

“I think it is time you start spreading truths.”

Valyrian Translations:

Rōvēgrior - Excellent

Jorrāelagon - Dear

Dovodedha ābra - Ignorant woman

Iā ābra hen pōja own zaldrīzes - A woman of their own dragon

Zaldrīzes kipagīros - Dragon rider

Qogralbar ao sagon sīr ȳrda - Fuck you’re so tight

Peldio - Viper

[ixenarcaniss]

The Owl House Finale Theory

[Spoilers ahead for The Owl House - Watching and Dreaming]

This got pretty long, so strap in I guess.

Especially considering how Disney limited the series in its last episodes, Watching and Dreaming was an absolutely beautiful and satisfying conclusion for The Owl House’s story.

Belos is defeated, the Collector is befriended, and our beloved, ever expanding family of weirdos is finally reunited and mutually understood. And the world isn’t suddenly perfect either! Much was damaged or destroyed and needs rebuilt. There are still those who seek power and control over others. There’s still a lot of work to be done, because real life is messy like that, but the world is safer and kinder because of our heroes.

But that leaves the question of what else we might have seen if the series hadn’t been cut so short. If the series’ end had a whole season to develop and pay off, how much richer could the story have been? As good as the finale ended up being, we saw no comeuppance or Odalia beyond an assumed estrangement from her family. We witnessed no acknowledgement or further development of the small cast of Gravesfield human characters. We missed out on most of the particulars of Caleb Wittebane and the events that led to his death. We hardly know anything at all about Hooty!

Clearly, these losses didn't ruin the impact of the main story, but there are elements that did make their way into Watching and Dreaming which, given the proper time and pacing, might have enhanced the finale beyond what it is now. I believe these elements are threads of a thematic arc that never got the chance to be explored in full. The pieces are all there (which is impressive on its own), but it doesn’t seem like there was time to bring them all together—to state the thesis as it were. So posthumously, let’s explore these themes for ourselves shall we?

Luz is a very self-critical character, and has been from the beginning. She has always wanted to help others and take care of herself without ever becoming a nuisance or a burden, and over the course of the series, she has had to confront her own self-doubt and guilt. She lies to her mom about her time spent in the demon realm. She puts pressure on Eda to provide for and protect her. She endangers the reputation of those who befriend her as a human and wild magic user. Guilt over such things has caused her a lot of grief, and has even led to some reckless or self-destructive behaviors in her need to be selfless. However, over the course of the series, she’s grown. She’s learned she can lean on others. She has people who love her, who understand and accept her, flaws and all. She can be honest and vulnerable, and critically, she can forgive herself for her perceived flaws and mistakes.

While this arc doesn’t go unresolved per se, its resolution is wrapped up in a lot of other events and ideas. It’s in Luz achieving an honest relationship with Camilla. It’s in hatching her palisman by accepting her wish to be understood. It’s in accepting the Titan’s gift. It’s in changing her mind about leaving the demon realm forever. But there isn’t really that ah-ha! moment of apotheosis where Luz clearly shows that she has moved beyond her guilt. However, there are a few moments—if you’re looking for them—that come pretty close, and hint at the more realized and explicit arc we might’ve gotten in another timeline.

From the beginning of Watching and Dreaming, consider Luz’s personal nightmare, constructed by the Collector to keep her trapped in her own fear. And even here, in the last episode of the series, we see that the thing that Luz fears is still her own failures—the idea that those she loves will blame and reject her. And all the while, she finds her dream self in the role of Belos. She sits on his monolithic throne and wears his imperial regalia. She walks the halls of his castle and is horrified to find the petrified citizens of Bonesborough, made victims of his preferred form of capital punishment. It isn’t acknowledged in reference to this scene, but it’s clear that, tied up in her guilt, Luz is afraid of being like Belos.

Later on, when she meets King’s father (mythic chill-as-hell genderqueer legend that he is, thank you for your good work Mister Hanson), Luz expresses guilt for her thoughts and actions, fearfully comparing herself to Belos as she questions the morality of her choices.

Luz:

“I’m not so kind. When I saw the Collector fly up to Belos, I hoped with all my heart I would see them blast him away, and—”

Titan:

“Hey, I can relate. I was willing to do anything to keep my kid safe. But I attacked the wrong person and dragged the Collector down here for nothing.”

Luz:

“Does that make us as bad as Belos?”

Titan:

“What? Have you been drinking Eda’s homemade apple blood?”

Luz:

“Well, Belos says he’s trying to save humanity, and we’re saying we want to save our families, so, isn’t that the same thing? Don’t- don’t these feelings come from the same place?”

The Titan reassures Luz that Belos’ aspirations don’t come from a place of authenticity, and that his actions only reflect self-righteous, power-hungry delusion. He affirms his trust in Luz, his willingness to give over the last of his very life to her in order to save their family, along with everyone on the Boiling Isles. When Luz questions that he would really choose her to receive such a gift (not that he really has other options in the moment), the Titan points out that it’s really up to her to accept. It’s up to her to choose herself. In defiance of her own doubts, she wordlessly takes his hand.

Unrelated to my main point, I’d like to take an aside to point out the significance of Luz’s transformation. Like she says, Luz is both a child of the human realm and a student of the demon realm. She may be human, but palisman in hand, she wields the wild magic of a witch. And, having learned from the Isles, as well as having been blessed by the Titan himself, she wields the magic of a titan. In her superpowered state, she reflects all aspects of her strange family. Her human heritage, and her found family of the Isles—both witches and demons, and her little brother and his powerful ancestry. It is the culmination of everyone Luz loves, everything Luz is, that finally ends the emperor’s reign.

After Belos is separated from the Titan’s power, he makes one last desperate attempt to cling to his miserable life so that he might get another chance to wipe witches from the world. He appears to Luz as Phillip, the human man he once was before he gave up his identity, his very humanity, to become a vile, parasitic monster for the sake of power. This man, who with full intention and prejudiced malice, ended some unknown number of innocent lives, who sought to continue that cruelty until he achieved complete and total genocide, who lied to and manipulated individuals and populations alike to establish himself as infallible prophet god-king, and who persuaded and commanded others to offer up their own powers and loved ones’ lives in order to strengthen and prolong his own… He has the audacity to claim innocence.

Belos thanks Luz for freeing him from a terrible curse, imposed upon him by the witches’ dark magic, which he claims forced him to do all those horrific things. But Luz has seen almost the full 400+ year arc of Belos’ cruelty, treachery, and utter heartlessness, from before he had any influence in the demon realm, up until this very moment. She has seen the suffering his machinations have caused first hand. She and her family are among his many, many victims. Naturally, she doesn’t believe a word.

Luz does not flinch, she does not falter, does not offer him the slightest sympathy. Not even when he appeals to her sense of kindness and guilt. As boiling rain falls (which was likely called forth and soon after dispelled by Luz herself, wielding the Titan’s power, which is to say, the Isles’ power as her own), poor innocent little Phillip’s goopy, grimy monster flesh begins to melt away, quickly harshing the already shaky appeal of his kindly human act. As he oh so sweetly asks Luz to help him, he begins to realize that his gambit isn’t working, so he begins rapidly switching between tactics and emotions.

“Quick- Quickly now! Don’t- Don’t you want to make peace, Luz?” he asks softly.

“Don’t just stand there,” he growls.

“You’ll be just as bad, just as conniving, just as evil, and just as unforgivable as those witches!” he bitterly spits.

And as he breaks down, becoming more and more desperate, more and more ironic as he begs for mercy and understanding in the same breath as he condemns innocents as irredeemable, Luz continues to remain silent.

She is nothing like him. She will never be like him. Belos truly cannot see past his hatred even to save his own life. His mind won’t be changed from his murderous intent. He doesn’t care about protecting anyone. He betrayed any loved ones he ever had, and even now only seeks to destroy. Luz doesn’t get any explicit resolution to her guilt or fear, but upon examination, this moment shows her the truth of the matter, and we can feel the change in her.

In one last attempt, Belos tries to appeal to her humanity. To their shared humanity, despite his amorphous, decayed form.

“We’re human. We’re better than this!”

He reaches, grasping at Luz’s ankle… And she steps away, looking down on him with a blank stare. Nothing needs to be said. She doesn’t need to waste her breath asserting that he’s wrong, or explaining why he’s a withering puddle of hypocrisy. She’s just accepted the truth. She’s done all she can. She’s finished here.

Then of course, Eda, King, and Raine enter the scene to lighten the mood and offer a less cerebral catharsis by stomping on what little Belos even remains. It’s fitting and worthy that such a mightily powerful and evil villain with such pathetic and thoughtless motivations had such an undignified end. He proved that he had no redeeming qualities, no true noble aims beyond his own self-deception. And though it may not feel joyous or natural, Luz can absolve herself of the fear of becoming him as well as the guilt of letting him finally wither away…

But that’s not all the fear and guilt Luz feels as a character. These limited and often inexplicit moments only tacitly resolve certain facets of her character arc. If the events of Watching and Dreaming had had further episodes of breathing room to explore its ideas, I believe Luz might have been further, and more explicitly contrasted with Belos through a deeper exploration of the harm we cause others.

As shown in her nightmare, Luz fears that those close to her might blame her for their troubling circumstances which arose alongside association with her. It seems that even this late in her story, Luz feels responsible for those circumstances on some level. She feels that her actions, or even just her presence, might have hurt the people she loves, and as a result, she worries that they might confirm her fears and reject her for it.

Afforded the pace of a traditional season, I believe the final season of The Owl House would have dedicated a significant amount of time to addressing Luz’s fears with several smaller stories, which would have laid the groundwork for a more impactful scene with Belos after his defeat. Across the season’s episodes, Luz would repeatedly express doubt to her friends and family, first as a passing concern that she would be embarrassed to voice, but increasingly as a pressing thought that she struggles to ignore. And while the others would try to assuage her fears, Luz would continually struggle to accept the truth, feeling like they don’t quite understand how she feels.

But, these extra stories would show us that the people in Luz’s life do understand, because many of those people have hurt others before. With the extra runtime, episodes could explore the harm that those characters had caused, and what set them apart from the likes of Belos, allowing them to remain as good people rather than bad.

Take the Collector for instance. When you think about it, introducing the Collector so late in the story seems like a bit of an odd choice. Why shift attention away from Belos as the main villain when he was clearly still a threat? Surely some other plot device could have been used to end the draining spell, split the cast between realms, and keep the people of the Isles busy while those in the human realm look for a way to return. There are already a handful of strong secondary and tertiary villains to choose from, so why make the Collector so pivotal?

To show the difference between malicious harm and well meaning harm.

The Owl House has a lot of complex characters with complex motivations, so when Luz doubts her own motivations, it is important to orient her in relation to others motivations. The Collector has certainly hurt others. Similarly to Belos, they are cruel to the people of the Isles, wielding incredible power to control and abuse them. Even so, one might be hard pressed to call the Collector a bad person. Why? Because he literally doesn’t know any better!

The Collector acts the way he does because he’s a sad, lonely child who wants friends. He’s a celestial being with untold power and no concept of mortal anguish. He wants someone to play with, who won’t lie to him or leave him like so many others have, so he takes what he wants in the only ways he knows how.

The Collector doesn’t understand real friendship until Luz, King, and Eda can begin to show it to them. The Collector doesn’t understand death until Luz functionally dies in front of them. And once they learn these lessons, they’re eager to take what they’ve learned, and grow.

Explicitly contrasting the Collector and Belos, is the moment when the Collector tries to take what he has learned so far, and befriend Belos by offering kindness and forgiveness, taking after Luz’s usual optimism. When Belos is unmoved and attacks him, the Collector is confused, wondering if he did something wrong. Luz struggles to explain that it isn’t his fault, that people are complicated. She still can’t quite reach the conclusion that Belos really is just that bad. He can’t be redeemed, no matter how many chances are generously offered. While the Collector was able to change his ways, Belos is different. He never will.

This idea of redeemable harm applies to more characters than just the Collector, though. Take the Titan, who is among those who hurt the Collector in the first place. In a full-length final season, we might’ve seen a thorough and complete vision of the Titan’s mistake and the Collector’s suffering, but in the version we got, the two only briefly mention what happened:

The Collector’s siblings, fearing the titans’ power, began capturing baby titans. King’s father believed the Collector was the one responsible, and imprisoned them between worlds. Had he known the truth, he would likely have acted very differently, but with the knowledge he had, he hurt the Collector knowingly and intentionally. Is he a bad person? Certainly not, because although he meant harm, he meant well. He hoped to protect his kind from further harm, and only misattributed the threat. He regrets what he’s done, and seems to hold no ill will toward the Collector after the fact.

Okay, but what if you aren’t a naive child, and you aren’t acting on a false assumption? What if you’ve harmed others because you believed for one reason or another that it was fully acceptable or right? Can you still be a good person, or are you still just as bad as Belos? Well what about Hunter? I can’t help you if you think Hunter’s a bad person. Yes, he accepted Belos’ lies and aided him in bringing about the Day of Unity through the harsh criminalization of wild witches and rounding up of innocent palismen. Yes, he antagonized the protagonists time and time again… Until he had a change of heart.

By interacting with Luz and the others, Hunter learned to see the error of his worldview. It was difficult for him to overcome his biases and accept that his loyalty to Belos’ cause was morally wrong, but ultimately, when shown kindness and forgiveness, he grew. He caused harm with full intent, believing he was in the right to do so, but even so, he had the capacity to change, and took the chance to atone for his unfortunate past.

There is hardly a character in the show that hasn’t hurt another in one way or another. Even the characters that love one another cause harm by accident or out of fear. If Luz could have seen such other characters’ past mistakes and slowly accepted that they do not condemn one as bad or irredeemable, her final moments with Belos would take on a whole new dimension. Seeing Belos’ shame laid bare would become the final nail in the coffin to prove to Luz that despite perceived flaws, she is ultimately good and just, with no need for such strict self-criticism. She and those she loves have worked hard to be who they are. To grow beyond their mistakes and live with their choices. To strive to be kind and brave and good. Belos is everything she is not.

The Owl House says a lot of things in the course of its story. It could have said much more, but in bits and pieces, it manages to say this:

Hurting others is part of being human—or witch, or demon, or titan, or grimwalker, etc.

As long as you do your best to be kind, you will always be enough. <3

[snat-snailcat]

TLDR: we gain more from being critical in our consumption and analysis of problematic media than we do throwing it away.

There’s already been essays written about it but I just am having one of those times where I feel I shouldn’t have to justify still being able to enjoy a media even if there are problematic elements. Just because a clearly bad take was made doesn’t mean I have to throw the whole book in the trash.

It feels harder and harder right now to be like “here is a thing I hyperfixated on for months/years and really care about” when I *know* that somewhere in the history of that thing is some racism. I know it, I acknowledge it, I learn to be better, and I move on still being able to hold these characters and stories close to me.

Need some sort of stamp that I can smack on things like “I know that this media has some Issues, I have come to terms with them, acknowledge them, and will still enjoy the parts of them that really mean something to me”.

I really like Dungeons and Dragons. I just do, I love Forgotten Realms for how vast a setting it is, and for the decades of world building and details that it has put into it. I know that there’s a history of the game and its lore having some Issues. Some pretty bad ones too. As someone who loves to plunder the (digital) pages of books from the older editions (AD&D 2e is my current baby), I see a lot of it. Some of it has been addressed and changed to be less racist in the years since, some of it has been retired or shuffled away altogether, but I trust myself in having a critical eye to see the parts of the game that aren’t as inclusive or thoughtful as they ought to be, and I change them for my games.

I love drow. I’ve always been fascinated by the ideas of underground worlds since I was a kid, reading books like City of Ember and writing Warriors Cats fics about sprawling underground mazes. I love the aesthetic of caves and tunnels, of luminescence and strange fungi. And I love reading War of the Spider Queen, a series of nothing but drow and their betrayals. It’s far from unproblematic, but it’s a study in magnificent bastards, in characters who are so far from being moral paragons that they stand out. And from the moment I first read of her, I love Eilistraee. It’s that same story over and over again, about enduring all that is horrid and still choosing to be kind, to be better than those before you. But I also will not deny that in these books, especially the older ones, there is racism. There’s white authors depicting struggles far from their own with clear analogies to real world people.

I enjoyed a lot of shows, especially in grade school; Steven Universe comes to mind. And some issues do exist with this media, but at the same time, I enjoyed it. It did things that had never been done before for a network cartoon for children. Are there much better shows now that have similar, if not better representation? Yes! Absolutely. But someone had to walk so that others could run.

We learn nothing from tearing down the world behind us as we all move forward. It’s important to have it there to see how far we’ve come.

Part of being a good consumer of media is being able to identify that, take it, and reflect on it. What is being said? What do you believe the author’s point was in trying to include this? What were the common views/rhetoric at the time this was written? Was there intention to cause harm by this, and if yes, how can that intention appear in other places? What can we learn from this in what not to do, and what we can do to fight against people like this in our world today?

I’m not saying to ignore the issues that many pieces of media have, but to be able to use those faults and flaws to better yourself. When it comes to a media as vast as TTRPGs, it’s easiest to rewrite and disregard issues, because it becomes *your* world, your rules, and your place to exist.

There’s no easy way around it. Hate still exists, there are still terrible people out there, a lot of which we should not be supporting. But there are also people who make mistakes, who mess up, who are still learning. And there are ways we can learn from those before us, or those we watch.

It’s all about how we work with what we have.

[phoneybeatlemania-bit-the-dust]

It annoys me when people complain about Julian and call him “whiny “. The person that John hurt the most throughout his whole life is his own son! I feel like this gets glossed over because he was more attentive to Sean “At least he was a good father to one of his children”. John failed Julian massively. Having Sean should’ve motivated him to try harder with Julian but I feel like it demotivated him because he realised how much of Julian’s life he missed and that made him feel bad about himself. Even in May’s book she says that John would’ve avoided Julian for the rest of his life to avoid feeling bad about himself & the choices he made with his life. And even when he got his visa he was happy to fly to other countries but not the country containing his son! I mean c’mon that’s very shitty and inexcusable. People can’t relate to John’s callous treatment of Julian so it’s downplayed and undermined by the excuse of “Oh well, John was better with Sean”. I know John appeared more motivated towards the end but doesn’t absolve him of the damage and pain he already caused to his son.

I try to understand John’s neglect of Julian from his perspective - I don’t want to excuse or justify it, but I still want to know what was going through his head to make him treat Julian the way he did - but I just can’t really understand it in the same way I feel like I can empathise with a lot of John’s other flaws. Like I feel like I can understand Johns mistreatment of certain people, or his mood swings, or his anger etc. But when it comes to Julian I struggle to understand him, and I just think its such a shame that Julian never got the closure he deserved with John. But I guess a few things to keep in mind when discussing this are:

1. Alfs abandonment

That Johns father, Alfred, abandoned him at such a young age, this might have affected John in such a way that made connecting with children a real challenge. Of course, he ideally still would’ve made an effort to connect with Julian more - but I guess that this was 1963, and he was someone who at this point had had absolutely no therapy. John’s own father I think was placed in an orphanage around the age of 5, so this neglect and abandonment appeared to be a bit of a cycle within the Lennon family-tree. Alf didn’t develop the neurones to be able to connect with his son the way a father ideally should be able to, and therefore John had trouble forming these connections too.

A real tragic story regarding this disconnect is one that ive heard Paul tell a few times (see this interview at 6:24 to hear him tell it). He essentially compares his ability to just naturally connect with children, to John’s inability to do the same; Paul grew up in a household where children and babies alike were around all the time - and in addition to this, there seemed to have been a lot more affection involved in his early environment compared to Johns. So when Paul was able to pal around at ease with Julian, John asked “How do you do that?” - and its unfortunately just not something you can just learn. I think John did want to be able to relate to Julian, and a part of him wanted to be a real dad - but I guess he just lacked the initiative to do so, as well as not having the needed facilities provided for him to be able to function as “good” parent (< or in other words, that man needed alottttttttt of therapy omg—)

2. Aunt Mimi’s coldness

I think by now its sort of been established that im not Mimi’s no. 1 fan - I don’t hate her, and I think she genuinely loved John, but ive been pretty critical of what I perceive her parenting style to be like. One aspect of this parenting style is that I think she was cold and deprecating towards John, which I presume took a toll on his relationships in such a way that made him susceptible to cynicism and even bitter contempt towards those he loved most.

“She never hit him: her worst punishment was to ignore him…When she did, he’d plead, ‘Don’t ‘nore me, Mimi!’” - I think that this type of parenting style could have effected the way John relates to Julian, perhaps making him feel it was okay to abandon him, maybe as a result of some unrecognised childhood angst or revenge.

Theres also a story where I think John said something to Julian a long the lines of, “I hate your laugh!”. Like, Jules was just some four year old living his life and then John, his own father, had this massive fucking mood swing. I feel bad for Julian cause my parents were like this (had random fucking mood swings and said some pretty contemptuous things) so I can empathise with him. At the same time though, I feel like I can understand John getting these mood swings (although, I don’t think that showing that kind of contempt towards a child is at all acceptable, and assuming that this sort of thing was a regular occurrence, I would say he was emotionally abusive towards Julian. Maybe John got these mood swings from Mimi (check this post for more on that).

3. Yoko’s influence and isolation

I think we first have to take into account here that John had a history of neglecting and failing Julian, and from what im aware of, he only started making contact with him again during his ‘Lost Weekend’ after being encouraged to do so by May Pang. So I don’t think we can make Yoko take all the blame for Johns neglect of Julian (and certainly not his emotional abuse towards Julian). But I think we have to also account for the fact that Julian has stated Yoko would refuse to put him through when he would ring his dad. And I just don’t know how much John had to do with that - as in, I don’t if John knew Yoko was isolating him to the extent that she did, or if he was unaware that she was rejecting several important and significant figures in his life.

For what its worth, Julia Baird wrote in her memoir of John urging (or really, begging) her to go to Cynthias house and ask Julian to phone him, because he hadn’t been able to get through to Julian, and he was trying to construct a better relationship with him around this time (this was before Sean was born, like you said, he seemed to lose motivation with Julian after Sean was born). I don’t know why Julian wasn’t taking his calls around this time - John seemed to think it had something to do with Cynthia, perhaps it was an autonomous decision made by Julian, perhaps it was entirely just a misunderstanding; I don’t know.

When it comes to Yoko, im conflicted - to some extent, I think John was being manipulated by her, and she was clearly isolating (even abusing) him - but also, he’s a grown man, and so he had to take the initiative for his own life. So I don’t know, but id say she is still partly responsible for spoiling Johns relationship with Julian.

~ ~ ~

At the end of the day, all I can really say is that John was just a classic case of parents needing therapy before they start, y’know, parenting - but it was 1963, and thats just not something most people underwent back then, especially people with more complex and unrecognised traumas, as well as mental illnesses that, whilst prevalent, may not have been so apparent. To clarify that point, I think John could function well-enough in his day to day life to be able to get by, because I don’t think his traits of mental illness tended to disrupt his life to such a degree that he could not function (at least not in 1963, though in later years, id argue more so they did; but even still, I don’t think John tended to struggle with mania or psychosis etc.) But I think he was still dealing with mental illness in a way that wrecked almost all meaningful relationships for him, as well as made feeling love and functioning as an emotionally stable and consistent person, a real hardship and challenge for him. And this inability to feel loved and cared for etc. made being a parent, quite simply, impractical. He needed therapy, and its a shame he died before ever receiving real therapy because it would’ve been interesting to see how John might have come to terms with really acknowledging his failures as a parent, and because Julian might have gotten some real closure with his dad.

All in all, I think Phillip Larkin said it best

[arkus-rhapsode]

MHA Chapter 315 Discussion-An Almost Great Conclusion, But Misses It’s Mark

Hi guys, Rhapsode here and it’s time for another MHA discussion. I haven’t really done one in a while, but after reading 315, I had a lot of thoughts I was working through. And before I start I want to say, I do not think this chapter is overtly bad. I think there’s a lot of good ideas to it, and overall nothing objectively bad. However, as the climax to this Deku vs Lady Nagant fight, I felt it didn’t quite hit its mark (pun not intended).

If you want my brief opinion of this current arc of “solo Deku”, I actually enjoy it quite a bit. I’m happy Horikoshi refocused on Deku after such a long war arc. As well as Deku FINALLY be proactive in his hero duties. No longer on the rails of the school setting. And I have especially enjoyed his current fight with Lady Nagant.

In terms of sheer action, it’s got a tried and true set up of a sniper battle, but then adds to it by taking the fight into the air. The action is hectic in all the right ways with the unpredictable bullets cutting up Deku as he dodges them with Danger Sense. As well as the introduction to a new quirk of OFA.

But where this fight really shines is Nagant and her origin. Lady Nagant was hero assigned to maintain the illusion of order by getting rid of potential threats and heroes up to no good for the Hero Safety Commission. Until being told to kill in the name of improving society and any of her activities being covered up finally weighed on her and she killed the then president of the Commission and placed in Tartarus. While she’s only hunting down Deku because she’s assigned to, she says that even if AFO wants to rule the world, it’d be more transparent than a return to the status quo.

It’s honestly a great reveal as it finally puts out in the open the actual corruption in the system that’s hinted at, but was never really delved into. But now it also finally has Deku confront the problems of the status quo that he’s grown up in. This isn’t an ideological battle like with Stain on the definition of hero or reaching people who have fallen through the cracks of society like Gentle. This is real flaws with the system that people have had faith in from the mouth of someone who has done their dirty work.

It’s something I think a lot of people have wanted to see. And I’m glad Horikoshi finally did dive into it the structural problems of hero society.

So how does this all get resolved in 315? How does all this end? Well after Lady Nagant targets Overhaul and shoots at him to make the situation harder for Deku to focus, Deku without hesitation goes into trying to save Overhaul (despite knowing Overhaul is a villain), Deku homages All Might and then shatters Nagant’s arm, and finally Deku makes an observation that Nagant wasn’t really going to hit Overhaul and that if she seeing the darkness of society, she knows where to expose it as she still has the heart of a hero. Nagant should join Deku.

But then AFO activates an explosive power right as Nagant is coming around. The blast fries her as Hawks arrives and we’re left on the cliffhanger of “is she going to survive.”

Now after reading this, my feelings have been… mixed. Let me get out this out of the way there is nothing with this chapter I disagree with: I have no problem with Deku making an emotional appeal to Nagant, I have no problem with AFO acting like a heel, and I have no problem with Nagant not being fully evil and never intending to kill. I know that last one has upset some people, but given Nagant’s backstory of killing innocent people for others because they told her so is the reason she fell off her path in the first place. So it makes sense she never intended on killing anyone.

And I know some people have nitpicked how it’s the female villain who isn’t fully evil, but that honestly doesn’t matter to me. As narratively, this arc started with the attack by Muscular and Deku couldn’t reach him. So it’d make sense to potentially end this mini arc on an example of Deku reaching and reforming a villain. It also helps that Nagant has actual layers to her motivation that could actually allow her to be swayed away.

Now my real issue with this chapter is honestly a problem that I was afraid Hori would do after he introduced just how messed up the Commissions back dealings, it’s that Deku doesn’t really take any concrete stance on what should be done about this status quo. Instead, Deku focuses more on telling Nagant she is a real hero and he ultimately wins her over after showing how much a real hero he is.

While Nagant uses the term “fake”, “sham”, and “phony” when discussing heroes and hero society, it doesn’t address the bigger issue. Namely that she feels this way because of the corrupt and unheroic things the Commission has done to maintain faith in it. Deku offers no actual answer to the very real and very hard question she poses.

And his only real response is this:

(I’m being generous as there can be something lost in translation here and it’s a bit on the flowery side )

While Deku did acknowledge this world isn’t Black and white and he’s saying she can expose corruption if she works with them, he dodges actually offering a solution to her concerns about the status quo. Instead more time is devoted to the same kind of “I will save anyone” appeal he always does.

And while one could argue Nagant’s only on the side of AFO because his reign would keep the Commission from having the power they did, even if she doesn’t fully believe in him. She still poses why being ruled by AFO has its appeal to her and Deku doesn’t actually counter that. No pointing out the obvious anarchy that could result from this or how AFO uses even the people he claims to love like Shigaraki. Deku doesn’t rebuff anything and once again passes the tough decisions onto other people. With Hawks appearance here at the end and his baggage about killing Twice, I can very easily see cleaning up the commission as becoming his motivation going forward. Once again resolving Deku of actually needing to make hard calls or form stances.

This is compounded by the fact AFO just blows Nagant up. It really doesn’t matter if you rebuff anything that AFO has said or offered to convince Nagant to join you, there’s no way she’d work with him after he attempts to kill her. Which feels like it undercuts this conversation about morally gray society.

Look we all know that AFO is evil. The audience knows and this is absolutely what he would do, but if you’re trying to give all of the illusion that we’re finally confronting issues with society and bringing this up and why we would get people loyal to AFO or people like the liberators or people like stain. And trying to sway someone away, then just having him nuke them for having a change of opinion. then it undercuts any actual ambiguity of a clash built on addressing moral grayness. Which I feel is always been one of the strengths of MHA.

I was not expecting Deku to have a thesis on how he plans to dismantle the shady parts of society. Or go full Eren Yeager and become his own revolutionary. But when confronted by a villain who isn’t like Shigaraki or Toga or Twice, who fell through the cracks in the system and needed a safety net like Deku wants to be, Nagant was a part of the system. The corruption of society runs deep in her motivation and Deku doesn’t really address it beyond acknowledging its flaws. And yet his actions of “true heroism” are enough to sway her. It just feels incomplete. There is a brief line that you can interpret of him wanting to clean up the system, but it feels way too short for a moment like this. Deku being confronted by all the darkness of a system he admires should cause him to make some kind of stance.

And no, I’m not going to speculate on if Lady Nagant is actually dead and this will finally forced Deku to take a firmer stance or what have you. I do want to keep these discussions at least relative to when they are released and in this moment the thing that wins over Nagant is the same “save everyone”/“inspiration by example” Deku usually does. Which doesn’t feel as satisfying a conclusion as it could be.

Not helped by a good chunk of this chapter being taken up by explaining all the bits and bobs of OFA’s power system and finally explaining what exactly his third quirk does. This feels like padding when I wanted the space could’ve been used for character dialogue or a continuation of their conversation about the status quo.

I do want to repeat though that there is nothing outwardly bad with this chapter. There is no real objective failure in the writing. It’s just a case of, “ this could be stronger.” And that’s the frustrating part.

Tl;dr there’s a lot of things that are good about this chapter from a technical and narrative level. The natural progression of characters and the switching of allegiance makes sense.  however it’s just all shy of really living up to a lot of the stuff it sets up about society and going back to the status quo. As Deku doesn’t seem to have any real concrete stance beyond his usual.

And because a lot of the things around it are very good it makes it a lot more noticeable when it doesn’t quite stick the landing. Not helped by what feels like nothing more than padding with the explanation of quirk ability instead of character introspection about this very legit and difficult revelation. There is nothing outwardly bad, it’s one of those cases of something that could be an 8-9/10 ends up more as a 5-6/10.

That’s my opinion at least. But I am extremely interested in seeing where Hori goes with this. Thanks for reading and I’ll see you next time.

[itsclydebitches]

You know, we’ve been continuing the conversations lately about the group’s inability to practice what they preach, what with Yang’s Raven secret and Ruby’s decision to perpetuate Ozpin’s decisions, but at least those two things are... acknowledged? Sort of. What I mean is, the story clearly thinks the Raven issue isn’t relevant. It absolutely is, but after three whole volumes and a dropped end credits scene, I think it’s pretty clear that RWBY considers it unimportant and has shuffled it off screen. Not worth your time, folks, and that in and of itself is some kind of acknowledgement: you should just let it go. Meanwhile, Ruby’s choices are frustratingly excused with a, “You’re different” speech, but at least an explanation exists, no matter how absurd. A dislike of the explanation doesn’t erase the fact that we got one. It’s still hypocritical, still stupid, still built on rewriting the themes as we go, but at least it’s something. 

You know what hasn’t been dropped from the story and likewise hasn’t been given at least a shoddy excuse? Oscar’s secrets. 

He (along with the rest of the group) lied to Ironwood for weeks/months about Salem and Ozpin

Then he kept the fact that Ironwood had gone off the deep end and tried to murder him quiet

Then Ozpin returned and he announced that he wouldn’t be sharing this crucial piece of info until he felt like it

Then he tops things off by, apparently, learning at some point that he had an insanely powerful weapon at his disposal and just... never brought that up 

I don’t like dragging the farm boy because I love the farm boy, I spent a huge amount of time throughout Volumes 5 and 6 defending him, but he’s suffering big time from the writing flaws lately. Ruby (rightfully) gets most of the heat for lies and secrets because she’s the leader, the show’s main protagonist, and the one who actually speaks them to Ironwood, but Oscar is in his own unique trouble due to being Ozpin’s “better.” At least supposedly. I mean, I personally despise RWBY’s message that the younger generation is inherently superior to the last - “We don’t need adults” and all that - but I don’t think we can deny that such a message exists. Ozpin had his successes off screen, that extraordinary time of peace, yet when the show starts he’s in the process of a downfall. The school is taken over, he’s murdered, and two volumes later he’s literally on his knees, having what little control he retained snatched away. Who replaces him? Oscar. The young, hopeful, bright-eyed child who is now - literally, due to the merge - stepping into Ozpin’s shoes. He’s accepted by the team when Ozpin is not (even if it took way too long). He’s got the wealth of optimism when Ozpin falters. This last volume we saw him straight up go, “No, we’re not doing your escape plan, we’re doing my turn-the-villain plan.” Oscar exists to provide that contrast, the new and improved Ozpin 2.0. The story is essentially saying that Ozpin, the ancient planner, failed spectacularly, but Oscar, the young go-getter, succeeds. Oscar-as-Ozpin will do what Ozpin 1.0 failed to accomplish: helping to defeat Salem by the end of the series. 

... so why is Oscar keeping so many secrets? 

That’s the snag for me. That’s where RWBY’s intended message falls apart. Not because the message was never there in the first place, but because they’re writing it badly. Ozpin’s way of doing things is, according to the show, defined primarily by controlling information. Keeping things close to his chest, as he says in Volume 6. For Oscar to exist as his better, he needs to reject the actions that - again, the story says - are dangerous, hurtful, and bound to fail. We see that a little bit in his willingness to trust Hazel (which, imo, is far too much of an extreme in the opposite direction), but beyond that Oscar is acting exactly like Ozpin. He’s keeping that info close to his chest just in case Ironwood proves to be an enemy. He’s reducing a traumatic event to “a long story” so as not to upset his teammate and cause further distress in an already stressful situation. He’s deciding that there’s a time and a place for revealing Ozpin’s return and that he will wait until such a time works for him. He, apparently, has a wealth of knowledge at his disposal now, from weapons to information about the Relics, that he’s doling out only when he feels the group absolutely needs to know these things. The cane nuke is just the new moment on the train: we need to escape Salem so I’ll reveal that I have the power to do so; we need to avoid the grimm so I’ll reveal that the Relic attracts them. You get this information when I consider it relevant, not before. And as far as we know, the merge isn’t really happening yet. Oscar is no less Oscar than he was at the start of Volume 4, minus a tendency to stand straighter. That’s the lack of acknowledgement. The story isn’t saying that Oscar is getting cagey because evil Ozpin is infecting his soul, it’s positing this as normal development for him as an induvial and... ignoring the problem with that. 

It’s real easy to point to Ruby as the main culprit here and critics (myself included) are absolutely right to. You really can’t do any worse than a whole volume of denouncing secrets, having Ruby parrot Ozpin’s near exact lies, and then try to hand-wave that away with, “But you’re different, Ruby.” RWBY’s moral themes shattered in that moment, but I think, beyond that hugely glaring flaw, there’s something a little subtler going on with Oscar - yet no less frustrating. The story clearly wants us to believe that Oscar is an improvement over Headmaster Ozpin, the new man (boy) who actually puts his trust in others... but who is he putting that trust in? Like the fandom’s worries that the group will eviscerate Jaune (the friend) after insta-forgiving Emerald (the enemy), it doesn’t sit right with me that Oscar is out here keeping major info from his teammates while handing out war intel to the guy torturing him in Salem’s whale. RWBY’s got its ideas of trust and forgiveness backwards and the crew doesn’t appear to realize that any excuses or explanations we might apply to Oscar will always apply to Ozpin too. Like Ruby and Ozpin, there remains a double standard at play between Oscar and Ozpin. You just can’t have this kid keeping so many things to himself now and ignore that this is the exact thing the story said was what made Ozpin the bad guy. Either acknowledge that and fix Oscar’s behavior, or acknowledge that and have the characters realize that Ozpin was right. Because without considering these choices, Oscar doesn’t actually exist as the contrast that I think RT wants him to be and the few nods to their differences - like trusting Hazel - come across as stupid decisions, not improvements. Rather than writing a kid from the next generation who is truly able to do better than the man who came before him, RWBY is writing a kid who is becoming exactly like his elder, with the exception of some incredibly foolish mistakes... all while claiming that he’s different in the way Ruby is different: just because, I guess. 

[theonceandfutureking6481]

BBC's Merlin Season 1 Episode 5: Lancelot Analysis

It's Lancelot's first episode which is tremendously exciting. I remember the first time I watched this show (last year- I really make it sound like it was much longer than it is), I wasn't particularly attached to him but on my second rewatch I loved him, I loved his and Merlin's friendship and I loved his sheer nobility and decency. Lancelot is of course typically one of the most central characters in telling's of the Arthurian legend, so of course his appearance is exciting. Also excitingly an episode where I talk about someone other than Arthur! Yeah, if you can't tell Arthur's my favourite character. I'm not sure how clear my point is throughout all of this, its hard to articulate but I hope I've done it justice.

"Sir Lancelot, the bravest and the most noble of them all"

This is a quote from much later in the show but it explains something very fundamental about Lancelot's character. Lancelot is supposed to be the chivalric ideal, in most versions of the story he is portrayed as such, as the only knight who really comes close to fulfilling it. Lancelot's fault that puts the dent in him being the true epitome of the noble chivalric knight is his love for Guinevere, and its actually his son Galahad (who doesn't exist in Merlin) who achieves this ideal. However, the point remains that Lancelot is almost there, his character is typically about a person who almost achieves this ideal of chivalry, and they run with this in Merlin, out of all the knights he is the most knightly, the most committed, the one most devoted to its ideals.

Lancelot talks like our idea of a knight, its kind of hard to explain but the way he talks is straight out of chivalric romances, out of films about knights. You notice it because everyone in this show talks in quite a contemporary way, its an Arthurian legend for people of today and the characters talk like it, but Lancelot just doesn't, he talks like a knight from a fairytale. It's just a small detail, but it really plays into the perception of Lancelot as the epitome of chivalric honour.

I'd argue that he represents a knighthood Arthur believes in, before he even realises it himself, a kind of honour that's about devotion to one another and helping others and fighting injustice. Arthur and Lancelot do get on extremely well, despite the fact that Lancelot, in Arthur's own words, doesn't sound or look like a knight. His passionate defense of him to his father, as well as the fact that Arthur releases him from prison without his father's approval is because Arthur respects him and admires him and probably because he sees him as a friend. King Arthur's court is often the ideal representation of chivalry, stories like these about chivalrous knights were very important to aristocratic culture in medieval times, and Arthur's court was at the center of it. The thing is that there is a code of honour and chivalry before Arthur in Merlin, the knights of Camelot already exist, and they are often honourable. But Arthur's task will be to reset the idea of chivalry and honour on new grounds, in new ways and Lancelot in many ways exemplifies this ideal

There is a huge emphasis in Lancelot's character in serving with honour:

"It's not my freedom I seek. I only wish to serve with honour."-Lancelot

"He laid down his life for me. He served with honour."- Arthur

"He meant no harm I am sure of it... he only wished to serve."- Arthur

I'm not exactly sure how to define honour, its kind of an abstract concept but I do know what it means, its acting with integrity and respect and honesty. It's a concept central to the Chivalric code, that knights should behave with honour, so its inclusion here further cements the idea of Lancelot's character as representing the ideal of chivalric knighthood. Also the concept of servanthood comes up again, Merlin emphasises (through Merlin most of all) the honour in being a servant, you don't need to be great or noble or a great leader, the world needs people who are willing to serve and that is just as noble as leading.

Chivalry as a concept is inherently bound up in the concept of nobility. The etymology itself is from the French word for knight/horseman, of which only nobles could be. However, one of the points of Merlin through many of its characters is upsetting this class divide so prevalent in Arthurian stories, not just in also including the stories of those who aren't noble but in setting up a code of honour that applies to everybody. Lancelot epitomises this, he is the knight who most represents the ideal of chivalry to Arthur, he's also not a nobleman. Just like making Gwen and Merlin servants, making the most noble knight not a noble sets up this shift, highlighting the capability of everyone to the kind of goodness and nobility that Camelot's ideal will represent. Because fundamentally what's the point of an ideal if it only applies to some people, ideals should inspire everyone to be better, they should make everyone's lives better not just a small subset of people.

As Gwen says that in Arthur's knights "we need ordinary people like you and me."

Arthur and Uther

Importantly Arthur realises the injustice of laws in his father's kingdom and you see the contrast between him and Uther.

"The code bends for no man."

"Then the code is wrong."

Uther is stubborn, we know that, he's unwilling to admit the fault in his rules, in his ideas even when the evidence is right in front of him and that is a fundamental fault, you can see it in his treatment of those who use magic. Arthur by contrast is someone whose views haven't been set, partly because he is still young, but also because he is a better person than Uther in the ways that matter. He's not going to purposefully blind himself to the truth. For Uther he is also one with a worldview of absolutes, all magic users are bad, laws are laws there is no room for argument or nuance, and I'm sure Uther would see accepting argument or nuance as a weakness.

It is also important that in recognising that the code should bend, Arthur recognises the essential flaw in Uther's construction of society and chivalry. The idea that knights should all be noble, Uther literally says that it is the fact that all knights are noble that binds them together, and this is emphasised by the fact that Uther created the first code of Camelot (also the fact that its the first code- makes this seemingly small law much more important). This is a premise Arthur does not agree with it, this episode proves what it really means to be a knight in Lancelot, its a willingness to do your duty and act with honour and self-sacrifice. It is not confined to class, and thus plays into merlin's wider subversion of chivalry as only being for knights, its a code of honour and behaviour that all people can aspire to, and the ability to live and die for noble causes should not be the sole preserve of knights. The Arthurian ideal is so premised on nobility, for the rest of the kingdom, yes they have a just king and presumably they are protected and safe but they are kept from the dignity of being allowed to be noble, being allowed to be considered a part of the nobility and goodness of the Arthurian ideal. It's significant that the first figure to represent this isn't noble.

Other Stuff

"I owe Lancelot my life and I am paying for that in the only way I can."- Merlin--> This is the worldview of knights and debts of honour in its own way as well

Gwen and Lancelot are just awww, like so sweet

"Merlin would do anything for anyone."- Gwen--> True and I love that about Merlin, even as he becomes more jaded as the seasons go on this doesn't change that much—>he's wonderfully decent

"You're the only thing I care about in this world."- Gaius to Merlin--> That was just sweet and kind of sad He's encouraging Merlin to put himself in danger and Merlin reacts with anger because its like does anyone care what happens to him—> but the point is Merlin can help Arthur and no one else can so he has to do it because its his job and its his job because he's the only one who can do it--> Duty is doing what you have to do, doing the right thing even when you don't want to

"It's my duty knight or not."---> Similar to Merlin—> Lancelot believes in being a knight so whether or not he actually is one he has a duty to act like one—> he is a swordsman he is skilled and (theoretically- if they weren't creatures of magic) could defeat a Griffin so he has to do it—> because he can and its his duty to his worldview And Gwen's response- "You really believe that don't you. I don't think I've ever met anyone like you."

"You've already proven that to us"- Arthur "But I must prove it to myself."- Lancelot--> Isn't there just something very noble in that- In the desire to prove your ability to yourself above all others- to hold yourself to a high standard not just to expect things to come Will parallel Arthur in later seasons as he tries to prove his right to be king to himself--> It's funny the scene when Arthur pulls the sword in the stone (much later) is the moment when he proves his right to be king in every version of the story- but usually its proof to others- In Merlin it was trying to prove to himself

"Till next time then, Sir Lancelot."- Merlin- wonderful way to end the episode on an acknowledgement of Lancelot's role in the wider story- he is a legendary figure

[cruelfeline]

Anyone who hangs about Twitter potentially saw an unfortunate Hordak take cross their timelines today. 

As is custom on this blog, I’ll be taking it apart for my own personal amusement (and for the amusement of any of y’all who like to watch me do so). I doubt the poster will see this, as they’re on Twitter and not apparently on here, but in case they do: this is for my own enjoyment and the enjoyment of followers; it absolutely does not need to be responded to if that’s not your cup of tea. 

So, that little disclaimer in place, let’s see what we can make of this! Because this is on Medium, I’ll be using screenshots as quotes; just a heads-up.

So... this first bit isn’t really anything Hordak-related. It’s more... fandom drama, I suppose? Not really something I can pick apart. I can, however, give my own personal opinion on this sort of thing, for what it’s worth.

It’s true that people can and should be able to feel whichever way they wish about a character. And to talk about that character. 

However: it is also true that people who dislike Hordak can be very unpleasant in making that known to those of us who enjoy him. Including descending into personal insults for no discernible reason. Add to that the fact that his character means a great deal to some fans for intensely personal reasons, and it is not difficult to see why some fans aren’t keen to see anti-Hordak content on their timelines, in their mentions, etc.

Censoring character hate isn’t a requirement, but in some circumstances, it can simply be a polite thing to do. It doesn’t take great effort, and it prevents people from experiencing just another bit of unpleasantness on their social media. And if you don’t want to do it? Well, that’s your right; but don’t be shocked when people voice their displeasure by replying to your words. Because that is their right.

And that’s all I really have to say about that. 

Odd way to phrase things, really. These aren’t “reasons to forgive.” The first two scenes involve Catra’s asphyxiations and are things that would need to be forgiven, not things to forgive.

Though, y’know, I really only apply that to the first scene, where he assaults her without her necessarily doing anything wrong. Mind you, I believe he does it out of a combination of needing to maintain a hierarchy for safety purposes (this is a man who needs people to be afraid of him to maintain his own safety) and poor leadership skills mimicked from a narcissist, but it’s still a terrible thing.

However! The second time? After he asks her about Shadow Weaver? This isn’t torture-fun-times. This is Hordak neutralizing a threat to the entire Horde. Because that is what Catra is in this moment: a threat to the security and wellbeing of him and the entirety of the Fright Zone. She lies about a critical mistake. She proves herself to not only have poor judgment in serious matters, but to be very willing to lie about it in order to guard her own selfish motives. While I can’t condone the method Hordak uses, I do wish people would stop using this second instance of punishment as some sort of proof-of-torture. He does not do this for no reason. He does it because Catra released a dangerous prisoner into the wild and lied about it. And his concerns over it ultimately prove correct.

This entire qualification doesn’t have much to do with whether he deserves forgiveness or not, but it’s a point I want to make because it combats this idea that Hordak did this to an innocent girl “for no reason” or “just to be cruel.” That’s simply not the case; no matter how unpleasant the method, Hordak is a military leader punishing a subordinate for seriously endangering him and everyone else in the organization. Badly. I don’t know what the equivalent would be in modern military, but Catra’s error is massive. It doesn’t make what Hordak does right, but it does give a reason other than a simple “he’s a bad, bad man.” So.

Adding this scene is... actually kind of odd because he doesn’t really do anything to Adora here. And also: this scene is... what’s the word... meaningful-in-hindsight, so to speak. Essentially: in this scene, Adora is claiming that Hordak is responsible for stealing her, for robbing her of a peaceful life with her family. And Hordak is claiming that he neither knows nor cares who she is, and that she does not matter to him. 

The interesting aspect of this scene, and something that OP fails to acknowledge at all, is that both Adora and Hordak are wrong.

let’s see if I can talk about this without crying... nope, already starting to tear up

Hordak never stole Adora; Light Hope did. Hordak did not orchestrate this unfortunate life for her. Rather, Hordak, a lost clone dealing with his own insecurities and fears and problems, found an equally lost infant in a field and gave her the only home he really knew how to create (and one that, for its flaws, was still better than the absolute nightmare he was “raised” in). In all likelihood, given Light Hope’s lack of understanding of infants, he probably saved Adora’s life by doing this: without him, she may well have perished alone in that field.

Hordak likewise does remember her, eventually. And she is not inconsequential to him: by saving her, he ends up saving himself, and all of his brothers. By forging this near-unknown bond with her all those years ago, by choosing to take in an infant rather than letting her die, he plays a key role in deciding the fate of the universe. 

This scene that OP sarcastically claims is a reason Hordak shouldn’t be forgiven has a sibling:

The fact that OP apparently fails to recognize this and realize that these are the only two moments in the series during which Adora and Hordak directly interact, that they’re a pair, means that OP misses the connection between the two and the significance of how they misjudge one another initially. It indicates a lack of understanding of the themes of the show: themes centered around connections with other people, love, and forgiveness. Which, given the contents of this essay, is unsurprising.

Moving on!

Y’know, whether or not one believes, in terms of definition, that Hordak is a colonizer (I personally don’t for pedantic and clone-cult reasons, but that’s not really relevant to this post), it’s interesting that OP notes how Stevenson confirms that he is... but conveniently leaves out the part where she confirms that he did it because he was brainwashed.

That’s... an important piece of information to leave out when discussing whether Hordak should be forgiven or not. A very important piece.

And it doesn’t really matter whether he’s a colonizer or a conqueror; the reason it comes up is because people seem very stuck in the mindset of “if it’s a colonizer, it must die” without acknowledging any sort of nuance. There’s also the question of whether what Hordak did actually caused the same sort of upheaval and lasting damage we see resulting from legitimate colonization, and all of the implications of that, but this isn’t really the place to go into that. Honestly, I don’t really think SPoP as a whole is the place to go into that.

No. Hordak is not the person who taught her all of these things. 

Shadow Weaver is.

Hordak did not personally teach her that Princesses are evil. He did not teach her that wanton cruelty is fine in getting one’s own way. He did not feed her propaganda. 

Actually, as an aside: can we even confirm that Catra ever thought that Princesses where evil? I mean... she works with Scorpia, and she has no apparent morals to speak of. She does as she wishes for her own personal gain, not because she displays any sense of “fighting the evil Princesses.” And in terms of disposing of Entrapta because she was “manipulated” into viewing Princesses as evil: Catra disposes of everyone. She manipulates and uses everyone. That is one of the key aspects of her arc: she uses and abuses people for personal gain. She does this whether they are Princesses or not: just see Lonnie, Rogelio, and Kyle. Add to this the fact that Catra, from the first season, knows that she and Adora have been lied to, manipulated, and that the Horde is in fact evil, and... this entire line of reasoning falls apart. 

None of this is an attempt to “absolve Hordak of blame.” Hordak just... legitimately had no hand in raising any of the children. That was not his role (and while I know that this was confirmed by Stevenson at some point, I don’t have memory of where; potentially the last podcast?). And Catra did not operate on any sort of propaganda that she actually believed in: she simply used and disposed of people as she saw fit because she cared more about her own rise to power than she did about those around her. This was one of her major character flaws, and really? Trying to pin this on Hordak, or even fully pin it on Shadow Weaver? It absolves Catra of the blame, of the intentional bad choices she made (as emphasized by Adora) and thus weakens her entire arc.

All in all: Hordak may have created a poor environment for the raising of children, but of note is the fact that only Catra turns out this way. The other kids, whatever their problems, are not in the habit of manipulating friends, lying to them, using them, and then tossing them aside. That is a Catra Problem. Part of this can be attributed to Shadow Weaver (who only treated Catra in the poorest way), and part of it is just... Catra being not-the-best.

All right. Now we get to the really disingenuous portion of the essay.

First, as just stated: Hordak is not Catra’s abuser. Shadow Weaver is. Hordak had no hand in raising her. Hordak did not direct Shadow Weaver to abuse her. Hordak did not personally feed Catra anti-Princess propaganda, and even if he had, we know by the first season that Catra sees through whatever propaganda she was exposed to and has no actual moral objections to Princesses. But that’s not the main aspect of this portion that irks me. 

The main aspect that irks me is that this is not the scene Hordak stans mark as abusive. And I cannot imagine that OP does not know this.

But let’s talk about this scene, for a moment, before getting to the actual, legitimate abuse.

OP talks about his scene almost flippantly: “Hordak finds out Catra lied about Entrapta, he becomes angry and attacks her with a clear plan to kill her.”

Yes. Yes, he "becomes angry.” He becomes angry and attacks because as far as he knows, Catra killed Entrapta. This isn’t some annoyed “you lied to me!” moment. He legitimately thinks Entrapta is dead because Catra sent her to Beast Island. OP just blissfully glosses over the fact that Hordak is attacking Catra in rage and grief because Catra, as far as either of them know, killed his only friend and then lied about it for approximately a year. Like... how do you gloss over that in discussing this scene? How do you gloss over the enormity of what Catra did, and the unimaginable pain Hordak experiences when finding out?

So. The writeup of this scene is poor. It misses all of the emotion, all of the reality of what Catra did and what Hordak felt. But! That’s not even the unfortunate part of this portion. Let’s get to the real disingenuity.

This is the abusive scene. This is that stomach-turning moment when Catra removes a disabled man’s ability to move with dignity and without pain solely to force him to escalate a war for her own personal benefit.

Hordak is not a danger to her here. Hordak has not been a danger to her for a while because he has been holed up in his private quarters, trying to deal with the emotional fallout of Entrapta supposedly betraying him. He wants nothing to do with Catra. He wants to lick his wounds and gather himself and somehow heal from this deep personal pain that’s been inflicted upon him.

And that’s a problem for Catra because it stands in the way of her using the war as a way to best Adora.

So Catra identifies Hordak’s physical weakness and exploits it for the purpose of spiting her ex.

The fact that OP completely fails to acknowledge any of this is... well. Disingenuous. Absolutely so.

The next portion of the essay talks about people feeling that Catra was too easily forgiven and isn’t really Hordak-centric; I won’t really go into it here. Moving forward:

Ah, one of the most annoying questions I see asked. Let’s, again, acknowledge and move past the fact that Hordak was not actually Catra’s abuser...

When, pray tell, was Hordak supposed to show this remorse? When? While he was serving on Prime’s ship, trying to forget the pain of losing Entrapta, of failing to prove himself, of losing everything? Should he have done it while screaming in agony in the purification pool? Should he have done so while alone on Prime’s ship, trying to serve quietly while piecing together his memories?

Not only was Hordak simply not in a position, narratively, to go into a whole remorse bit, but he had other problems. Like, life-endangering problems. 

The appropriate time to go into his feelings on Etheria and the Princesses and All of That would have been after Prime’s defeat, upon Hordak’s re-introduction to Etheria... but then the show ended. So.

Agh, vulgar. Taking a brainwashed, conditioned slave and bastardizing his triumph at finally seeing himself as a real person, instead claiming that his intent was to glorify his own misdeeds. No. Just... no.

Again: this is not the time for guilt. And it is a demonstration of why guilt and remorse were not front-and-center in Hordak’s arc during season five: his arc was about finally realizing that he was his own person, a person worthy of identity and love and care and freedom. And this arc culminated in him separating himself from his abuser and declaring his personhood. 

That is what this scene is: not Hordak reveling in his makeshift empire, or in the terrible deeds he’d committed, but in declaring himself his own person. 

I should hope that he is proud of doing that. I’m proud of him for doing that daunting feat, of defeating his abuser and defying his god and recognizing that he is worthy of more than what Prime thought of him. And I recognize Entrapta’s role in it: not as the sole inspiration for his change, but as someone who showed him a foundation of love and acceptance, someone who introduced him to the idea that he was worthy of care and happiness and affection simply because he was a living being, no strings attached.

Trying to shoehorn in some sort of claim that this is about pride in his misdeeds, rather than joy at finally accepting his own sense of self is a massive misinterpretation of this scene, a misunderstanding of Entrapta’s role in Hordak’s arc, and... can I say it’s disingenuous again? Because I’m going to: it’s disingenuous.

All right; we’re at the end. And while the first sentence here is something I absolutely agree with - the decision to forgive Hordak is personal and subjective both for viewers and for in-show characters - the whole conclusion falls apart from there.

It highlights another glaring omission from OP’s arguments: the fact that Hordak is a brainwashed clone slave.

Hordak did not choose to “spend his life trying to prove his worth to Horde Prime.” He did not choose the method of said proving: that Prime would look kindly upon conquering rather than some other task. And he did not choose to have certain concepts and ideas (all beings must suffer to become pure; all creatures, no matter how small, have a place in service of Horde Prime; failure is when something ceases to serve a purpose) conditioned into him.

Hordak was manufactured as a cultist slave. He was “born” with hardware implanted into his body against his will to better control him. He was indoctrinated and brainwashed to the point that he believed that Horde Prime was his literal god - and in a way, Prime was, because he could mentally invade and possess and physically control the clones whenever he wished. 

Hordak was not allowed to have a sense of self. He was not allowed to have a name. He was not allowed to express emotions. He was not allowed to live without that life serving to glorify Horde Prime. Hordak was so absolutely sick with this mentality that he saw himself as a failure due to physical disability and assumed it was his responsibility to fix that. 

The idea that Hordak simply chose to do what he did, that he had the same foundational morality and mindset as any “normal” person might, shows a glaring lack of understanding even the basics of his narrative. 

Yes: Hordak did bad things. But he did them for legitimately tragic, nigh-horrifying reasons that this essay just ignores for the sake of... I don’t know? Trying to justify OP’s distaste for the character? I am uncertain. But it’s a mark of a poor essay, of a poor understanding of the character, and is honestly just disappointing to read when the show itself tries so hard to drive home its wonderful, hopeful themes through Hordak’s story.

Whether one forgives Hordak or not is one’s personal choice, but I certainly hope one makes said choice with better insight into his character than this essay provides.

[zanguntsu]

attractiveness and morality - or how people think with their metaphorical dicks instead of their brains

people are fucking horny over the villain characters in bleach, i mean specifically the male ones because as we know the female villains are nonexistent lol. but it’s not hard to see how attractive the male characters are even though i just refuse to acknowledge men unless i have too.

however, there is an issue with how we perceive the characters based on how attractive they actually are, more along the lines of how people will excuse any offensive behavior based on physical attractiveness

the convicts oops i mean examples

there are a few examples i can name like popular male villains that people lose their shit over.

aizen is the big one, where despite the crimes he has committed, such as emotional manipulation, attempting to wipe out a whole town, murders, and hollowfying his colleagues and getting away with it. yet, he is sympathized, especially over Tousen who tends to be more villainized by the fandom or at least held in a less favorable regard.

Gin is in the same boat, with the emotional manipulation and general emotional harm inflicted on multiple people but is sympathizes because uwu he loves rangiku even though he did cause her harm, simply because he betrayed her and hurt her friends and colleagues.

Ulquiorra is another very notable one, since he also has that whole manipulation thing although not as blatant as aizen. he did kidnap a minor and abuse her (isolating her, threatens her and her friends, and it is used to control her/keep her in captivity).

Grimmjow is another example, and its especially notable because he’s just very very violent. And he never apologizes or feels remorse for it, despite generally terrorizing Ichigo and co.

Nn*itra is especially reprehensible, he is overtly sexist, as most of his violent acts are targeted at women and uh. actively saying he hates women. creepy (implied sexual) behavior towards a minor as well.

Szayel as well, he has no regard for his minions, and then theres whatever he did to nemu what the fuck that was so fucked what the fuck.

notably, these men are also wildly popular among the fandom. they will have the most fanart, most discussion, most fics i guess. 

why do horny fucks sympathize with them

people empathize with people they see as attractive, and i mean conventional attractiveness. note how none of this empathy extends to people who do not fall in the category as attractive (often pale side eyes) hunk/twink. does zommari get that attention? yammy? why are they not held to the same standard as say szayel/gin or grimmjow. yammy is also angry and prone to violence, much like grimmjow.

what sets them apart is that they are not deemed sexually attractive so therefore, their flaws become easier to ignore and they arent sympathized as much. of course, kubo probably did inadvertently create this problem, seeing as theres a discrepancy in creating a complex character. another example of this is the comparison between byakuya and omaeda. of course, they are obviously different characters, byakuya has more development and screentime. however they are similar in that they are wealthy, in high positions of power, and look down on people they deem inferior for a variety of reasons. byakuya, however, is conventionally attractive and also has screentime. that being said there is an underlying issue of fatphobia as well in reducing omaeda to a comic relief character.

people empathize with attractive people or at least favor them. “People more strongly desire to form or maintain bonds with physically attractive partners relative to unattractive partners—an attractiveness-based affiliation effect (Path B). In turn, through projection, attractive partners are perceived to possess attributes that are compatible with these goals, which largely center on their reciprocation of interest in establishing or maintaining close relationships (Path C).”  this is indicated by the halo effect, “the tendency for positive impressions of a person, company, brand or product in one area to positively influence one's opinion or feelings in other areas“ which also applies to beauty and how attractiveness impacts how one recognizes a person. for example, an attractive person will often be associated with positive traits such as compassion, intelligence, and other desirable traits. it could be things like how appearing well groomed heightens others perception of you, how you will appear responsible and capable.

and this does extend to the villains. aizen is viewed as a tragic villain who fights for injustice or something like that. gin is a tragic antihero i think that did everything for his true love tm. ulquiorra is a tragic villain who does not understand love. grimmjow is grimmjow. nn*itra is somehow tragic with an inferiority complex lmao take that fucking L bug boyyy loser. and szayel... exists. see how fanon interprets these characters despite none of them having any remorse for what they have done. the fandom leaps to provide a justification or rational for their actions no matter how abhorrent they are. yammy and zommari are still held as villains, yet they are not sympathized with in the slightest nor are beloved to that extent. compare the sexualization of these men and the amount of sympathy garnered from the fandom. 

why this matters

its no secret that in online spaces especially, offenders are romanticized or at least sympathized. take the true crime community for example, in which case male serial killers were romanticized despite the atrocities they have committed. and this is linked to the “bad boy” trope that is prevalent in romance novels, where a troubled or dangerous man seems like a desirable partner despite stalking their love interest among other crimes. of course, this also gets a bad rep from wattpad ya books and just ya books in general.

there are examples of this trope. i have vaguely alluded to edward from twilight. there is also the cause of that white guy from 50 shades of gray, which is most known for romanticizing abuse but the audience cannot help but be allured by his white guyness or something/ there is the netflix film “you” where a man stalks a women but it is seen as romantic and people find themselves attracted to joe despite his violence. literally this type of behavior:

there’s ted bundy film and how people raved about how hot he was despite him being an absolute monster and having real victims whos family have to live with the fact that people find their family member’s killer hot. it is this in its absolute extreme, where people are fully aware of their crimes but still find sympathy or attraction towards a criminal. in this case it is the gradual romanticization of violence that may creep up. i cannot assuredly claim that there is a strong correlation between finding villains attractive and romanticizing violence but there can be some indication of this.

and this view of how attractiveness can bleed into criminal court. of course, there are other factors such as gender, sexuality, age of judges and the inherent corruption within the legal system. here is a list of studies about this topic because christ i am not copy and pasting all of that go read it yourself.  but the main takeway is that in mock jurors and other public opinion, the more attractive defendants accused of crimes have less severe sentences or even less sentences (however this is not seen as frequently in judges). it shows that there is a level of sympathy, leniency, or more compassion towards attractive people. 

Conclusion

the point being made here is that attractiveness affects how one sees a person. yes, it is possible to find villains attractive, however the bias of physical attractiveness and actual character can potentially be dangerous if left unchecked. this is not exactly a call to action or a psa because a) i am fully aware that this fandom is horny to the point of brainrot and that it is incurable and b) this is just an analysis on behavior in the fandom. and i am aware that the studies are cishet in nature and are not indicative of the fandom as a whole seeing as there are a fair amount of lgbt people in this fandom. that being said, my point still stands.

[crazygaysex]

incomprehensible conjecture and rambling about sunny/rcg under the cut! idk man I got 1 hour of sleep in the past 24 or wataver and my brain is an abandoned swamp Good Nigte

i certainly am not arguing that mac Absolutely Isnt a stereotype of a predatory gay man/self-hating homophobe or whatevr. i wont argue the homophobe one at all really,not great even if they rectified it and further tried to make up for it or whatever w mac finds his pride (which i love, regardless). but honestly i dont think the predatory complaint really makes a whole lot of legitimate sense considering every charatcer on the show is Extremely predatory in their own right. if he wasnt i’d be irritated to be honest. i do agree w wat mcelhenney said something like that its cool that they decided to acknowledge he was gay without changing him fundamentally as a person; he still needs to fit into the show or watever. like idk he’s not Ideal Gay Rep ofc but he’s awesome still. To Me. I like when character’s sexuality can be an improtant acknowledged facet of them but doesnt overtake the rest of te narrative! It never occurred to me that his behavior toward dennis would be seen as predatory ina stereotypical way seeing as how their relationship dynamic is so fckign bizarre. charlie has the same level of dogged cluelessness about the obj of his affection’s true feelings, so it didnt occur to me to see mac touching dennis’ knee or stuff of that variety as being any different ig or as making fun of queers or watevr. if i am wrong/misunderstanding i apologize. i have never considered mac from that perspective before.

honestly i kinda get the complaints. i’ve never rly thought rcg all have 10000% pure intentions with the insensitive kind of humor they are into, no matter their loophole justifications for shit. sometimes i almost believe their reasoning and do basically understand but it still seems flimsy when you considers stuff like the blackface stuff which is indeed kind of funny at times mainly bc the joke is the absurdity of it all, like mac in the shower with the brown dripping off him like he’s melting; it’s not funny at the expense of black ppl but more so at the expense of how goddam stupid and unaware mac is. i havent seen the blackface/brownface ones in years sos i dont have a whole lot to say excepe they seemed to be clearly against using blackface as the moral while still using it to get laughs. so. really honestly i don’t know that it’s Liderally Ever edgy white people’s call to use something like blackface regardless of context, regardless of their obvious intent? i dunno i have tried to find Black ppls opinions online a couple times but struggled to find any tangible results. the only other thing i have to say with ym white person words is that i think it’s stupid that the streamig companies take down all insensitive episodes like theyre trying to brush them under the rug and pretend it never happened in wake of a changing political climate. i get it, but kinda just seems like corporate scrambling ie disney getting ridof all of song of the south but still profiting from splash mountain eprhaps. something seems dodgy to me about pretending it doesnt exist anymore just to cover their asses. i understand the sentiment i guess but i dont think that’s really the main goal of the BLM movement, to purge streaming services of any questionable/racially insensitive/Fully Racist material; there’s surely more important things at the top of the lists besids Good Branding . im not sure if that makes sense

also a lot of episodes the joke is the blatant but somehow woefully oblivious homoerotic overtones present between the guys, like a Lot of the time. it is very funny though is the thing and a lot of thm are my favorites. i dunno. i also thought hte pooping transgender bit was pretty funny mainly cause it was absurd. i think maybe because i have my own what i think are reaosnable and empathetic views about certain stuff like queer shit it doesnt necessarily occur to me that they are trying to make fun of queer people.. like people make fun of conservative fans for having completely missed the point of it all being satire, and wat if i am being tricked to into assuming rcg has kind intentions and isnt trying to make fun of queer people just cause the thought didnt occur to me? instead of taking all the gay subtext serious- WHICh i Do, i should probably be more aware that to rcg it is just a bit and not really that deep. but mac and dennis were totally fucjing in s5 canonically. anwyays like aside from the carmen shit which is handled So Fuckign Bad and it makes me so upset cause i actually love carmen they were just very clearly not bothered with actually representing trans people accurately. so in the bathroom one if even fuckin dee reynolds is like, saying a trans woman in a woman’s bathroom is obviously normal.. it seems like they’d rectified some of their previous Very flawed rhetoric surrounding trans women (ie the whole “u slept with me when i was still a man” line. makes me cringe a bit ebery time)u get wat i mean?? not that it atones for it obviously. i love carmen she desreved better

butreallt i dont have any like. Pure Faith in rcg to be super accountable or honest about their intentions or to have the most accurate or agreeable beliefs or whataver. theyre just fucking about really because they can without any lashback. and people i think like being able to laugh at offensive shit thru scenarios which supposedly distance you from bigots/evil people and make u feel better about yourself watching these dumbass evil people talk slime. when like. glenn yelling supposedly arabic-sounding gibberish for example: it is funny in this context not just cause it’s wildly inappropriate and absurd but also because there’s prob significant amt of people who actually dont have an issue with it who could watch it and not have that takeaway whatsoever. i dont kno wt im talking about anymore btu honestly if youre trying to watch a show that isnt rife throughout with controversial/offensive/insensitive language and story beats, i dont know why you would try to stomach it with sunny. like for gods sake they used blackface more than once! i dunno man

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I Thought About Loki (Season One)

(Sorry this is later than it should have been. I may or may not be experiencing burnout from reviewing every episode of the gayest show Disney has ever produced)

Salutations, random people on the internet. I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons.

Do you want to know what's fun about the Marvel Cinematic Universe? It is now officially at the point where the writers can do whatever the hell they want.

A TV series about two Avengers getting stuck in a series of sitcoms as one of them explores their personal grief? Sure.

Another series as a guy with metal bird wings fights the inner racism of his nation to take the mantel of representing the idea of what that nation should be? Why not?

A forgettable movie about a superspy and her much more mildly entertaining pretend family working together to kill the Godfather? F**king go for it (Let that be a taste for my Black Widow review in October)!

There is no limit to what you can get with these movies and shows anymore, and I personally consider that a good thing. It allows this franchise to lean further into creative insanity, thus embracing its comic roots in the process. Take Loki, for example. It is a series about an alternate version of one of Marvel's best villains bouncing around the timeline with Owen Wilson to prevent the end of the universe. It sounds like just the right amount of wackiness that it should be too good to fail.

But that's today's question: Did it fail? To find out my own answer to that, we're gonna have to dive deep into spoilers. So be wary as you continue reading.

With that said, let's review, shall we?

WHAT I LIKED

Loki Himself: Let's get this out of the way: This isn't the same Loki we've seen grow within five movies. The Loki in this series, while similar in many ways, is still his very own character. He goes through his own redemption and developments that fleshes out Loki, all through ways that, if I'm being honest with you, is done much better in six-hour-long episodes than in past films. Loki's story was already entertaining, but he didn't really grow that much aside from being this chaotic neutral character instead of this wickedly evil supervillain. Through his series, we get to see a gradual change in his personality, witnessing him understand his true nature and "glorious purpose," to the point where he's already this completely different person after one season. Large in part because of the position he's forced into.

Some fans might say that the series is less about Loki and more about the TVA. And while I can unquestionably see their point, I still believe that the TVA is the perfect way for Loki to grow. He's a character all about causing chaos and controlling others, so forcing him to work for an organization that takes that away allows Loki time to really do some introspection. Because if his tricks don't work, and his deceptions can't fool others, then who is he? Well, through this series, we see who he truly is: A character who is alone and is intended to be nothing more than a villain whose only truly selfless act got him killed in the end. Even if he wants to better himself, he can't because that "goes against the sacred timeline." Loki is a person who is destined to fail, and he gets to see it all with his own eyes by looking at what his life was meant to be and by observing what it could have been. It's all tragic and yet another example of these shows proving how they allow underdeveloped characters in the MCU a better chance to shine. Because if Loki can give even more depth to a character who's already compelling as is, then that is a feat worth admiration.

The Score: Let's give our gratitude toward Natalie Holt, who f**king killed it with this series score. Every piece she made is nothing short of glorious. Sylvie's and the TVA's themes particularly stand out, as they perfectly capture who/what they're representing. Such as how Sylvie's is big and boisterous where the TVA's sound eerie and almost unnatural. Holt also finds genius ways to implement other scores into the series, from using familiar tracks from the Thor movies to even rescoring "Ride of the Valkyries" in a way that makes a scene even more epic than it already could have been. The MCU isn't best known for its musical scores, partly because they aim to be suitable rather than memorable. But every now and again, something as spectacular as the Loki soundtrack sprinkles through the cracks of mediocrity. Making fans all the more grateful because of it.

There’s a lot of Talking: To some, this will be considered a complaint. Most fans of the MCU come for the action, comedy, and insanely lovable characters. Not so much for the dialogue and exposition. That being said, I consider all of the talking to be one of Loki's best features. All the background information about the TVA added with the character's backstories fascinates me, making me enthusiastic about learning more. Not everyone else will be as interested in lore and world-building as others, but just because something doesn't grab you, in particular, doesn't mean it isn't appealing at all. Case in point: There's a reason why the Five Nights at Freddy's franchise has lasted as long as it has, and it's not entirely because of how "scary" it is.

There's also the fact that most of the dialogue in Loki is highly engaging. I'll admit, some scenes do drag a bit. However, every line is delivered so well that I'm more likely to hang on to every word when characters simply have honest conversations with each other. And if I can be entertained by Loki talking with Morbius about jetskis, then I know a show is doing at least something right.

It’s Funny: This shouldn't be a surprise. The MCU is well-known for its quippy humor in the direct acknowledgment that it doesn't take itself too seriously. With that said, it is clear which movies and shows are intended to be taken seriously, while others are meant to be comedies. Loki tries to be a bit of both. There are some heavy scenes that impact the characters, and probably even some fans, due to how well-acted and professionally written they can be. However, this is also a series about a Norse god traveling through time to deal with alternate versions of himself, with one of them being an alligator. I'd personally consider it a crime against storytelling to not make it funny. Thankfully, the writers aren't idiots and know to make the series fun with a few flawlessly timed and delivered jokes that never really take away from the few good grim moments that actually work.

It Kept Me Surprised: About everything I appreciate about Loki, the fact that I could never really tell what direction it was going is what I consider its absolute best feature. Every time I think I knew what was going to happen, there was always this one big twist that heavily subverted any and every one of my expectations. Such as how each time I thought I knew who the big bad was in this series, it turns out that there was an even worse threat built up in the background. The best part is that these twists aren't meant for shock value. It's always supposed to drive the story forward, and on a rewatch, you can always tell how the seeds have been planted for making each surprise work. It's good that it kept fans guessing, as being predictable and expected would probably be the worst path to take when making a series about Loki, a character who's all about trickery and deception. So bonus points for being in line with the character.

The TVA: You can complain all you want about how the show is more about the TVA than it is Loki, but you can't deny how the organization in question is a solid addition to the MCU. Initially, it was entertaining to see Loki of all characters be taken aback by how the whole process works. And it was worth a chuckle seeing Infinity Stones, the most powerful objects in the universe, get treated as paperweights. However, as the season continues and we learn about the TVA, the writers show that their intention is to try and write a message about freedom vs. control. We've seen this before in movies like Captain America: The Winter Soldier or Captain America: Civil War, but with those films, it always felt like the writers were leaning more towards one answer instead of making it obscure over which decision is correct. This is why I enjoy the fact that Loki went on saying that there really is no right answer for this scenario. If the TVA doesn't prune variants, it could result in utter chaos and destruction that no one from any timeline can prepare themselves for. But when they do prune variants along with their timelines, it takes away all free will, forcing people to be someone they probably don't even want to be. It's a situation where there really is no middle ground. Even if you bring up how people could erase timelines more destructive than others, that still takes away free will on top of how there's no unbiased way of deciding which timelines are better or worse. And the series found a brilliant way to explain this moral: The season starts by showing how the TVA is necessary, to later point out how there are flaws and evil secrets within it, and ends things with the revelation that there are consequences without the TVA keeping the timeline in check. It's an epic showcase of fantastic ideas met with exquisite execution that I can't help but give my seal of approval to.

Miss Minutes: Not much to say. This was just a cute character, and I love that Tara Strong, one of the most popular voice actors, basically plays a role in the MCU now.

Justifying Avengers: Endgame: Smartest. Decision. This series. Made. Bar none.

Because when you establish that the main plot is about a character getting arrested for f**king over the timeline, you're immediately going to get people questioning, "Why do the Avengers get off scot-free?" So by quickly explaining how their time-traveling antics were supposed to happen, it negates every one of those complaints...or most of them. There are probably still a-holes who are poking holes in that logic, but they're not the ones writing this review, so f**k them.

Mobius: I didn't really expect Owen Wilson to do that good of a job in Loki. Primarily due to how the Cars franchise discredits him as a professional actor for...forever. With that said, Owen Wilson's Mobius might just be one of the most entertaining characters in the series. Yes, even more so than Loki himself. Mobius acts as the perfect straight man to Loki's antics, what with being so familiar with the supposed god of mischief through past variations of him. Because of that, it's always a blast seeing these two bounce off one another through Loki trying to trick a Loki expert, and said expert even deceiving Loki at times. Also, on his own, Mobius is still pretty fun. He has this sort of witty energy that's often present in Phil Coulson (Love that character too, BTW), but thanks to Owen Wilson's quirks in his acting, there's a lot more energy to Mobius than one would find in Coulson. As well as a tad bit of tragedy because of Mobius being a variant and having no clue what his life used to be. It's a lot to unpack and is impressively written, added to how it's Owen Wilson who helps make the character work as well as he did. Cars may not have done much for his career, but Loki sure as hell showed his strengths.

Ravonna Renslayer: Probably the least entertaining character, but definitely one of the most intriguing. At least to me.

Ravonna is a character who is so steadfast in her believes that she refuses to accept that she may be wrong. Without the proper writing, someone like Ravonna could tick off (ha) certain people. Personally, I believe that Ravonna is written well enough where even though I disagree with her belief, I can understand where she's coming from. She's done so much for the TVA, bringing an end to so many variants and timelines that she can't accept that it was all for nothing. In short, Ravonna represents the control side of the freedom vs. control theme that the writers are pushing. Her presence is necessary while still being an appealing character instead of a plot device. Again, at least to me.

Hunter B-15: I have no strong feelings one way or another towards B-15's personality, but I will admit that I love the expectation-subversion done with her. She has this air of someone who's like, "I'm this by-the-books badass cop, and I will only warm up to this cocky rookie after several instances of them proving themselves." That's...technically not B-15. She's the first to see Loki isn't that bad, but only because B-15 is the first in the main cast to learn the hidden vile present in the TVA. It makes her change in point of view more believable than how writers usually work a character like hers, on top of adding a new type of engaging motivation for why she fights. I may not particularly enjoy her personality, but I do love her contributions.

Loki Watching What His Life Could Have Been: This was a brilliant decision by the writers. It's basically having Loki speedrun his own character development through witnessing what he could have gone through and seeing the person he's meant to be, providing a decent explanation for why he decides to work for the TVA. And on the plus side, Tom Hiddleston did a fantastic job at portraying the right emotions the character would have through a moment like this. Such as grief, tearful mirth, and borderline shock and horror. It's a scene that no other character could go through, as no one but Loki needed a wake-up call for who he truly is. This series might heavily focus on the TVA, but scenes like this prove just who's the star of the show.

Loki Causing Mischief in Pompeii: I just really love this scene. It's so chaotic and hilarious, all heavily carried by the fact that you can tell that Tom Hiddleston is having the time of his damn life being this character. What more can I say about it.

Sylvie: The first of many surprises this season offered, and boy was she a great one.

Despite being an alternate version of Loki, I do appreciate that Sylvie's her own character and not just "Loki, but with boobs." She still has the charm and charisma, but she also comes across as more hardened and intelligent when compared to the mischievous prick we've grown to love. A large part of that is due to her backstory, which might just be the most tragic one these movies and shows have ever made. Sylvie got taken away when she was a little girl, losing everything she knew and loved, and it was all for something that the people who arrested her don't even remember. How sad is that? The fact that her life got permanently screwed over, leaving zero impact on the people responsible for it. As badass as it is to hear her say she grew up at the ends of a thousand worlds (that's an album title if I ever heard one), it really is depressing to know what she went through. It also makes her the perfect candidate to represent the freedom side of the freedom vs. control argument. Because she's absolutely going to want to fight to put an end to the people who decide how the lives of trillions should be. Those same people took everything from Sylvie, and if I were in her position, I'd probably do the same thing. Of course, we all know the consequences that come from this, and people might criticize Sylvie the same way they complain about Thor and Star Lord for screwing over the universe in Avengers: Infinity War. But here's the thing: Sylvie's goals are driven by vengeance, which can blind people from any other alternatives. Meaning her killing He Who Remains is less of a story flaw and more of a character flaw. It may be a bad decision, but that's for Season Two Sylvie to figure out. For now, I'll just appreciate the well-written and highly compelling character we got this season and eagerly wait as we see what happens next with her.

The Oneshot in Episode Three: Not as epic as the hallway scene in Daredevil, but I do find it impressive that it tries to combine real effects, fighting, and CGI in a way where it's all convincing enough.

Lady Sif Kicking Loki in the D**k: This is a scene that makes me realize why I love this series. At first, I laugh at Loki being stuck in a time loop where Lady Sif kicks him in the d**k over and over again. But a few scenes later, this setup actually works as a character moment that explains why Loki does the things he does.

This series crafted phenomenal character development through Loki getting kicked in the d**k by the most underrated badass of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. It's a perfect balance of comedy and drama that not every story can nail, yet Loki seemed like it did with very little effort.

Classic Loki: This variant shows the true tragedy of being Loki. The only way to survive is to live in isolation, far away from everything and everyone he loves, only to end up having his one good deed result in his death anyways. Classic Loki is definitive proof that no matter what face they have, Lokis never gets happy endings. They're destined to lose, but at least this version knows that if you're going out, you're going out big. And at least he got to go out with a mischievous laugh.

(Plus, the fact that he's wearing Loki's first costume from the comics is a pretty cute callback).

Alligator Loki: Alligator Loki is surprisingly adorable, and if you know me, you know that I can't resist cute s**t. It's not in my nature.

Loki on Loki Violence: If you thought Loki going ham in Pompeii was chaotic, that was nothing to this scene. Because watching these Lokis backstab one another, to full-on murdering each other, is a moment that is best described as pure, unadulterated chaos. And I. Loved. Every. Second of it.

The Opening Logo for the Season Finale: I'm still not that big of a fan of the opening fanfare playing for each episode, but I will admit that it was a cool feature to play vocal clips of famous quotes when the corresponding character appears. It's a great way of showing the chaos of how the "sacred timeline" works without having it to be explained further.

The Citadel: I adore the set design of the Citadel. So much history and backstory shine through the state of every room the characters walk into. You get a perfect picture of what exactly happened, but seeing how ninety percent of the place is in shambles, it's pretty evident that not everything turned out peachy keen. And as a personal note, my favorite aspect of the Citadel is the yellow cracks in the walls. It looks as though reality itself is cracking apart, which is pretty fitting when considering where the Citadel actually is.

He Who Remains: This man. I. Love. This man.

I love this man for two reasons.

A. He's a ton of fun. Credit to that goes to the performance delivered by Jonathon Majors. Not only is it apparent that Majors is having a blast, but he does a great job at conveying how He Who Remains is a strategic individual but is still very much off his rocker. These villains are always my favorite due to how much of a blast it is seeing someone with high intelligence just embracing their own insanity. If you ask me, personalities are always essential for villains. Because even when they have the generic plot to rule everything around them, you're at least going to remember who they are for how entertaining they were. Thankfully He Who Remains has that entertainment value, as it makes me really excited for his eventual return, whether it'd be strictly through Loki Season Two or perhaps future movies.

And B. He Who Remains is a fantastic foil for Loki. He Who Remains is everything Loki wishes he could have been, causing so much death, destruction, and chaos to the multiverse. The important factor is that he does it all through order and control. The one thing Loki despises, and He Who Remains uses it to his advantage. I feel like that's what makes him the perfect antagonist to Loki, thanks to him winning the game by not playing it. I would love it if He Who Remains makes further appearances in future movies and shows, especially given how he's hinted to be Kane the Conqueror, but if he's only the main antagonist in Loki, I'm still all for it. He was a great character in his short time on screen, and I can't wait to see what happens next with him.

WHAT I DISLIKED

Revealing that Loki was D.B. Cooper: A cute scene, but it's really unnecessary. It adds nothing to the plot, and I feel like if it was cut out entirely, it wouldn't have been the end of the world...Yeah. That's it.

That's my one and only complaint about this season.

Maybe some scenes drag a bit, and I guess Episode Three is kind of the weakest, but there's not really anything that this series does poorly that warrants an in-depth complaint.

Nope.

Nothing at all...

…

...

...I'm not touching that "controversy" of Loki falling for Sylvie instead of Mobius. That's a situation where there are no winners.

Only losers.

Exclusively losers.

Other than that, this season was amazing!

IN CONCLUSION

I'd give the first season of Loki a well-earned A, with a 9.5 through my usual MCU ranking system. It turns out, it really is the best type of wackiness that was just too good to fail. The characters are fun and likable, the comedy and drama worked excellently, and the expansive world-building made me really intrigued with the more we learned. It's hard to say if Season Two will keep this momentum, but that's for the future to figure out. For now, let's just sit back and enjoy the chaos.

(Now, if you don't excuse me, I have to figure out how to review Marvel's What If...)

[canonicallysoulmates]

Here are my thoughts and opinions on the first season of Loki.

First of all, if you have not re-watched this season I highly recommend it. It’s only 6hrs, pick a day, get some snacks, binge the whole thing especially if you weren’t a big fan of it the first time around because re-watching it I noticed some things that I hadn’t before but I also found myself liking some things that I hadn’t the first time around. Which is why I recommend re-watching it, cause maybe it’ll be the same for y’all and you’ll find some new things to love, and end up enjoying some things you hadn’t before. It’s really a different experience to watch the whole thing together than when you watch week to week which makes sense cause MCU shows are meant to be movie-esque.

Now, I’ve spoken pretty positively about this show almost on the daily so let’s switch it up and start with the negatives aka the things that I personally didn’t like because while I enjoyed a lot of this show there are things I wasn’t a fan of and things that did irk me a lot; the first thing is very much a pet peeve: the title sequence, I’ve mentioned it before in passing but it reminds me too much of Gravity Falls and Bill Cipher, I gave it 6 episodes, 12 if you count the re-watches, and I just don’t like it at all, I get what they were going for but I don’t think it fits the show and I’m hoping they change it for s2.

But that’s a small thing, I can deal with that, the two (technically three) big things I didn’t like - and I think this is why episode 1 is my least favorite and to me the weakest of the season - is the way the show completely ignores Odin’s abuse and the effect that had on Loki, and the way he’s written in the first three episodes. I will go into detail.

I have no shame in admitting that I am pretty forgiving when it comes to this show and its flaws but the one thing I cannot forgive is how it not only ignores Odin’s abusive behavior but tries to paint him as a loving father and like Loki was the one in the wrong using the most insulting way possible which is that scene in Ragnarok where Odin tells his sons he loves them as if an ‘I love you’ undid years of abuse and bad parenting; it shouldn’t surprise me that they did this because the mcu does have a history and a pattern of being abuse apologists like portraying Thanos killing Gamora to get the soul stone as him loving her, or completely ignoring the horrible father that Howard Stark was. But it still really pisses me off that this show in which a big theme is exploring Loki psychologically and emotionally doesn’t even make mention of what a horrible father Odin was! And it tries to make it seem that just because Loki heard his father say a version of him that he loves him, that Loki suddenly thinks of him as a loving parent (referring to that line in episode 5 where he’s talking to Sylvie and says he has betrayed everyone who has loved him and mentions his asshole of a father instead of his mother!). I didn’t need them to go into details about this, but I did want them to call abuse abuse, and acknowledge Odin was a bad father. To me this is the biggest sin so far of this series. It doesn’t surprise me but it does disappoint me.

Connected to this, and in episode 1 we stay, is the “psychological exploration” of this character. I know after episode 1 a lot of fans were all “omg Loki finally got some therapy 😭” and then there’s me in the corner, shaking my head and saying no he didn’t, not at all, not even close. There was no therapy. And there was zero character exploration. I like Mobius but he is no Linda Martin.

All that happened was Loki being shown the consequences of his actions and being directly asked multiple times if he likes hurting people which of course he doesn’t, that’s not therapy at no point did Loki’s trauma get addressed, at no point did Loki get walked through that stuff or asked why he is how he is or what happened to change him from someone who was just mischievous to someone who caused harm.

Sorry to burst y’alls bubble but Loki did not get therapy in episode 1. Change Mobius lines about how Loki is just meant to cause pain and suffering and death for “imagined slights” and you’d have pretty much the same as every other MCU movie. At most what he got was an intervention to help him realize he didn’t want to be a bad person. Intervention and therapy are not the same thing.

And again, not surprised. If the mcu doesn’t properly explore their main, multiple movie having characters trauma and issues why were we expecting them to do it with Loki? Gotta keep those expectations in check. And in part I understand that the writers had a limited amount of time and they wanted to jump right into things but if they were gonna have only one episode with an emphasis on this they could have done a much better job while still jumping into the main story and moving on to character growth. To me this is the second biggest sin. And why episode 1 is ultimately my least favorite.

Last but not least, and something I can be more lenient and forgiving about but I still don’t like is the way Loki was written in the first three episodes. The way he was written was more comical to the point of borderline clown-ish sometimes which doesn’t match his personality at all, and don’t get me wrong there are times when it works but for the most part it just comes across as weird, like the writers were trying too hard to be funny and lighthearted at some points and it just doesn’t work, it ends up with him being a joke.

I’ll use a scene that I absolutely adore as a small example: Loki singing in episode 3. It’s one of my favorite scenes of the season, absolutely live for it, it lives in my head rent free in the VIP section but it’s a very flawed scene because Loki would never. Getting drunk on a mission is what Thor would do, not Loki, that is Thor through and through so as much as I love that scene, it is a flawed, ooc Loki scene.

The good thing is the show does improve in how it writes him in the last three eps, they stop trying so hard with the comedy, he’s more serious, more badass, he still has funny moments for example his reaction to Alligator Loki was hilarious but it’s more natural and fitting. So hopefully, in season 2 it will be the same writing team, and there will be more consistency and he’ll be written less comically and more badass.

Moving on to the positives, there are a lot of things I thoroughly enjoyed, starting with having Loki back on my screen and the center of attention- my baby, my darling, my love 💚 I’m so glad that he (and Tom!) is finally getting the attention, and love, and praise, and recognition that he has been deserving of all these years!

It gave me some of my favorite Loki scenes like I mentioned Loki singing it may be a flawed scene but I loved it nonetheless, it had some really cool fight scenes especially towards the end, it gave Loki a friend! A real friend! My baby is all grown up! 😭💚

The cinematography was beautiful, like you can say a lot about this show but you cannot deny that visually it is stunning and the directing was amazing. The soundtrack was pretty good too, I mean c’mon, ‘I need a Hero’? Iconic.

This show gave us Alligator Loki! How can one not love that! It kick started what looks to be the coolest aspect of Phase 4, it gave us bi, genderfluid Loki (which also brought out some of the ugliest sides of this fandom but this ain’t the time or place for that conversation 🙃), it gave me a new favorite character in Sylvie absolutely love her 💛

It gave me hope that the sun will shine again on Thor and Loki! That they’ll cross paths once again at some point and be reunited! And when they are, we better get that hug!

It gave me my new OTP in the form of Loki x Sylvie, they have great chemistry, and they’re super cute together, and they’re so good for one another and I just love them so much; I know it’s a “controversial” ship but I hope they stick to it and we get more of them in s2 because they are the best couple Marvel has ever given us they are passionate and cute and angsty, and they have the foundation for the most epic love story.

In conclusion, was Loki season 1 perfect? Was it everything I wanted? Nope. But ultimately, it gave me more that I enjoyed than not- also, I can tell this was something that was done with a lot of love and joy and effort put into it which as someone who has loved a show where the writer’s room noticeably didn’t give a rat’s ass, I can appreciate a lot.

Overall I’m very happy with the first season; I love this show, flaws and all, and I can’t wait for s2!

[anika-ann]

Attached: Words Lost in Translation Pt.1

Type: (mini)-series,  Modern-college-professor AU… aka the wrong attachment AU ;)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader   Word count: 4200

Summary: There’s a new guy in your history class – a foreign student from Milan, Italy. Handsome, nice enough, pretty smart, actually.

But dammit, you should have known that a guy complimenting the way you say his name will be trouble – Bucky certainly thinks so from the start… and he’s not wrong. Oh boy.

A/N: Attached: Words Lost in Translation is a 3-part addition to the Attached series.

A/N: Many thanks to my lord and saviour @chase-your-dreams-away​ for her help with Italian bits which you’ll find in the fic :-* Seriously, big shout-out for her, she was awesome! Vocabulary at the end if you’re interested.

And many thanks to @wxstedhexrt​ for sending me the link and putting the plot bunny into my head in the first place :-* 

Warnings: smug insistent jerk, harassment(?), swearing, one remark about LBGT+ that could feel insensitive

Story masterlist

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“Uhm… hi. Can I sit here? And uh—this is kinda ridiculous, but could I borrow a pen?”

A very much handsome young man was standing by your seat in the second row, week two of your first semester of master’s at uni, deep brown eyes, naturally tanned skin, relatively tall, his smile a fraction shy but honest.

What else could you have done that what you did?

Even if he wasn’t a relatively cute guy – mind you, you were dating Steve, very happily needless to say – you had no reason to be a bitch to a guy with slight accent you weren’t sure where to place, to a guy who was apparently a tiny bit lost on his first day at Bucky’s class.

“Yeah, sure. Seat all yours,” you smiled encouragingly, sliding him an extra pen on surface of the desk.

His smile widened brilliantly, exposing a set of perfectly narrow and white teeth. A twinkle appeared in his eye and you caught your heart skipping a beat.

Oh. Ah-oh.

“Thank you so much. Something tells me that the prof wouldn’t appreciate me missing the first class of his and not taking notes on the second,” your mystery student grimaced and you chuckled, unable to help yourself.

First of all, yeah, kinda on point.

Second of all, not on point at all, because the said prof was Professor James Barnes. Bucky had a relatively benevolent policy when it came to his classes – yes, he appreciated when his students were paying attention, interacting even, but as long as you weren’t an ass or weren’t making noise (or both), you were fine.

You said so to your new classmate and he nodded in acknowledgement.

“Good to know… but you know what would be even better?” he asked, cocking his head to side curiously – or teasingly, it was hard to tell.

“Oh, what? I guess you need the syllabus too, right? I can-“

A low chuckle erupted from his throat, his eyes glimmering with amusement as his gaze gave you a not-exactly-subtle once-over you weren’t sure how you felt about.

Except you knew exactly how you felt about it, you just knew you shouldn’t feel that way.

“That would probably come in handy too, but I’d rather know the name of my lovely saviour with a pretty smile.”

You found yourself lowering your gaze, heat rising to your cheeks.

Here was a thing – this was most flirting you got in like a year. You adored Steve, you truly did, from the bottom of your heart, he was a dream come true… however, the fact that you two were dating was clear to everyone.

And by everyone, you really meant everyone; considering the scene at your bachelor graduation and the mess around, it appeared that the whole damn city accepted the fact that you were Steve’s and thus no one even considered stepping on his toes.

Which was alright, absolutely, but… girl’s got needs, her ego craves a boost from time to time, even if it’s an appreciative glance from a stranger. Just a teeny-tiny bit of flirting.

No one ever flirted with you anymore.

It was why it was way too easy to fall into the sweet trap as you introduced yourself, lifting you gaze only to see your companion wearing a lop-sided smile. He most definitely liked what he saw.

“Sweet name for a sweet girl. I’m Daniel. I’m here for two semesters. And before you ask, it’s Milano, Italy,” he added quickly with a flash of his teeth again, holding out his hand – and upon having it accepted, he most certainly held it too long and swept his thumb over the back of your hand.

Which was the point when your head started yelling at you to stop this in an instant and draw a line. Yes, it felt amazing to be complimented to, but you had a boyfriend – a fucking dreamy one, no less – and you sure as hell didn’t want to give Daniel (how was his name pronounced again?) the wrong impression.

You retreated your hand with your smile turning tight-lipped, a cold pang of guilt stabbing you in your gut. Served you right.

“Nice to meet you, Daniel,” you said politely, and his expression shifted into one just a fraction patronizing.

“Da-ni­-el. Kinda soft ‘i’. Daniel. You’ll get a hang of it, I’m sure. Once more, please?”

Well, since he said please. “Da-ni-el,” you repeated more from a common curtesy, because honestly, the least you could do was to try to pronounce a name right for a handsome classmate.

Shush it, it doesn’t matter if he’s handsome or not!

Daniel smiled widely, turning his palms up and gesturing towards you. “Perfetto. Amazing. You’re a natural.”

Before you could say thanks, Bucky entered the class and you felt the stab in your insides intensify as his eyes found you unmistakably, as if he had witnessed our interaction with the Italian and was telling you he’d rat you out to Steve if you didn’t stop right now.

Ridiculous – there was nothing to talk about. You were just being nice to the friendly stranger who happened to be in your class and whom you’d be meeting for at least a semester. That was all.

Except you still felt your heart pounding furiously, equally because of the feeling of getting caught doing something wrong and because of enjoying the attention. Fuck.

Okay, fine. You’d tell Steve about this guy on your own as a precaution. It would at least remind you to keep yourself in check, because honestly, you had no desire to get tangled up in some mess. You had no desire to taint the beautiful thing you had with Steve with anything at all, less so for a fling.

Content with yourself, you forced yourself to listen to Bucky’s lecture, taking notes like you were supposed to, determined to ignore Daniel’s presence.

Except Daniel interrupted him twice with questions and remarks about accuracy, drawing attention of the whole class to him and you felt hot in your face for a whole different reason than before – simply hating that someone sitting next to you was, frankly, quickly getting annoying.

And God, you had no idea how much.

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Daniel Gallo was a relatively nice guy –social perhaps a little too much, but cute and open, easy to be friends with.

However, he had one fatal flaw, one you discovered very early on; he was the smuggest asshole you had ever met.

Perhaps it was his need to correct Bucky all the time – mostly failing, because Bucky knew his shit, he was just sparing you the tinniest details, leaving them for you to find in text books.

Maybe it was the fact that Daniel hadn’t given you the pen back, not even asking if he could keep it for the day, which you’d understand despite being protective of your pens; except he carried it around for two weeks, using it in front of you, returning it only upon your curious and slightly sarcastic comment about it.

Most definitely though, it was the fact that he was unbearably insistent on flirting with you – shamelessly – even after you grew so uncomfortable that you blatantly told him you had a boyfriend. He smirked, but backed off for the day, only to continue his advances the next week.

And then Jill, a girl from your year and a sort-of-friend, actually told you that he mentioned you in front of her, saying that you were two growing rather close, if she knew what he meant, and she admitted that she snorted into her latté when hearing it.

“What? What is it?” he had asked.

“I sincerely doubt that,” she claimed she had said, causing him to frown.

“Why? She gay? I don’t think so, I can tell this kind of stuff.”

“No. She’s taken. Very happily, I might add. Sorry to burst your bubble.”

“Nah. We’ll see about that,” he had replied supposedly and learning that felt like a punch to your stomach, causing you to see red.

You showed him ignorance incarnate the next week, but he didn’t seem to mind in the slightest.

And then even Bucky noticed and kept casting dirty glares at you both as if you had done the worst crime.

To be honest, after that you did feel dirty; but you didn’t want to make a fuss.

In fact, you hadn’t even told Steve about Daniel besides informing him about the existence of a foreign student in your class.

Partly, shame was to blamed, because you kept wondering if you had done enough; perhaps you should have been more radical, sterner with Daniel to make him stop.

The other part of the reason was that Steve was under tons of pressure because of his academic duties; all professors had to publish an article in a prestige journals dedicated to their area of expertise at least once in two years – university policy – and working on that while teaching several classes was simply taking its toll on him. You really didn’t want to add to his stress.

It wasn’t even a big deal – Daniel was overly social and he probably said shit like the stuff you learned from Jill about other girls too. What was the golden rule? When there’s nothing broken, don’t fix it.

There was nothing. No problem at all.

⊱-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦ ✉ ◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-⊰

Except there was.

That morning, you were zoned out, because Steve snapped at you for not doing the dishes and didn’t bother to apologize till you left the apartment in a foul mood. Then he went to shower you with texts full of apologies, gradually growing into pure cutesy (involving a picture of his puppy eyes) and gifs and stuff and you ended up spending the majority of Bucky’s lecture on your phone.

By Bucky’s policy, that was perfectly okay, because he couldn’t care less if you were smiling like a loon into your phone – hell, if he noticed, he was probably glad, knowing shit had rained down and was now being fixed.

At the end of the class, Daniel graciously offered you his neat notes – and really, they looked amazing –, surprising you rather pleasantly.

“Oh… that’s… that’s very kind of you,” you stuttered, almost rendered speechless. Perhaps you truly were just making a big deal of things, seeing something that wasn’t-

“Anything for my principessa.“

The cloud that had been following you since you left the apartment made its comeback in a second, so fast that you actually felt your stomach drop to your feet.

Oh no, you were not imagining things – after all, Daniel even had a term of fucking endearment for you. And you might not be speaking Italian, but you understood that just fine.

“Perhaps one day she’ll repay me with a dinner date,” he continued with a supposedly charming smile, one you found disgusting at the moment.

You opened your mouth and swiftly closed it when no sound came out, scoffing at your naivety. Of course he wouldn’t give them for free, jackass. You shook your head with a wry smile and packed your untouched pencil case and papers, rising to your feet without another word.

A hand on your wrist stopped you from spinning on your heel and walking away.

“Aspetta, aspetta-” an all-to-familiar voice now whispered as you grinded your teeth and glared at the point of contact, skin on skin. He squeezed your wrist almost gently before letting go. “Wait. Here. Just… take a picture, okay? Where would we be if weren’t nice from time to time…”

You really didn’t want to give him the satisfaction… but you could really use his notes too.

Dammit shit.

“Thank you,” you uttered, obediently taking a photo of the three pages of ridiculously perfect notes. Then, you met his gaze, face torn between stern and grateful. “Just… a reminder: I have a boyfriend.”

Slow smile spread on his lips and in that moment, you wanted to punch him in those perfect teeth of his. “Doesn’t stand in the way of admiring your beauty, does it, la mia ragazza…”

You had no clue what he said, but the la mia hinted you that he called you something his and that sent a surge of white-hot anger through your veins, mixing with humiliation. Your hand actually curled up in a fist, twitching – but instead of giving your piling anger an outlet, you took a deep breath, huffed and stalked away without a word of goodbye.

“See you next week!” Daniel called after you and you gripped the strap of your backpack tighter, squeezing your eyes shut.

That night, you got next to zero sleep, watching Steve’s passed-out form with tears in your eyes.

It was ridiculous, it was nothing and you were doing nothing wrong-- but you couldn’t make yourself to cuddle to Steve’s side despite desperately needing his wordless affirmation that everything was alright.

Just a simple embrace of his was like a promise of a brighter future. With him.

Chuckling wryly into your palm, you wiped at your tears and snuggled to Steve, causing him to stir and hum, his arm circling around you on instinct, a barely-there sloppy kiss to your hair chasing more tears into your eyes along with a watery smile gracing your lips.

Yeah. Everything was going to be fine.

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Nothing was fine.

Daniel was getting handsy if you could call it that. His thigh brushed yours multiple times the next class as he was sitting uncomfortably close and no amount of subtle pushing away (of you and your chair) was helping, so no, there could have been nothing coincidental about that.

You dug your nails into your palm and bit your cheek, but survived the lesson somehow.

Bucky called for you at the end of the class, saving you further interaction with that Italian Satan, allowing you to breathe freely until he addressed the very problem your head was occupied with.

Bucky didn’t like Daniel’s attitude to begin with – which wasn’t surprising, seeing as he was being a prick – but he liked the fact Daniel seemed to be awfully close to you even less if his tone was anything to go by and his eyes screamed accusations and you fucking hated yourself, feeling the tell-tale of incoming tears burning in your eyes.

“I can talk to him, you know. Tell him to back off,” he offered then though, the grey with blue threads of his irises warming when he noticed your state.

The pressure in your gut eased upon learning Steve’s best friend didn’t only blame you and apparently wanted to help rather than presenting you with ‘you made your bed you lie in it’ attitude.

You even charmed a small smile for him, determined to do justice to your word: “Thank you… it’s fine. I’ll deal with him. I can handle one guy who doesn’t take no for an answer.”

And sure you could.

Daniel hugged you goodbye the next class, saying he was planning a get-away with his new friends for a weekend and it might be dangerous – fucking absurd.

With your heart in your throat, you quickly patted his back and twisted from his arms, feeling dirty.

“No kiss for good luck?” he teased, that annoying smug smile on his face and you had to remind yourself that punching him was a terrible idea seeing as you were already walking a fine line dating a professor – who happened to be the best friend of one of your professors.

You didn’t need any problems – and for some reason, you were certain Daniel would make a big fucking deal of it. So no punching it was.

Your resolve crumbled to nothing when a sudden kiss landed on your cheek, the sensation cold like a kiss of the death itself.

Before you could as much as catch your breath which got knocked out of your lungs and not in the good way, your blood pressure skyrocketing along with your pulse to a point where your head began spinning… he was gone.

You gulped, eyes fluttering shut as the world seemed to sway from its place and you nearly jumped out of your skin when a hand grasped your arm.

“Daniel, go fuck yourself-“ you snapped and glared at him- only to meet Bucky’s angry and very much concerned gaze.

“Too bad you didn’t say that about thirty seconds ago. You alright?” the brunet asked you, grip firm yet gentle as he steadied your shaky stance.

“Uh-huh,” you hummed, a little strangled noise. “And I am gonna tell him exactly this the next time I see him.”

“Not good enough for me. You’re not stupid, I know you’re not. But I’m not either,” he remarked, expression gravel. His tone hardened, unlike his eyes that studied you thoroughly, examining your face as if searching for something. “You think I didn’t notice the change of your wardrobe?”

An icy-cold shiver ran an up your spine, causing all your muscles to stiffen.

Fuck. He noticed.

You supposed it wasn’t too hard to see and it was only natural that he kept an eye on you as on his best friend’s girlfriend. Yes, your Tuesday’s outfits suddenly somehow lacked skirts and anything with a deeper neckline than a turtle-neck, simply in hopes to turn Daniel off or at least not to pluck up his interest further; an action that had taken zero effect.

But being called out like this? That stung. It hurt your pride and it hurt by its very nature, because it reminded you how pathetic you were, unable to get rid of a jerk who didn’t take no for an answer – in a public space, with witnesses for god’s sake. It made you feel weak and incompetent.

So you looked Professor Barnes dead in the eye, your lips a thin line, your voice cold as you spoke the only words that made sense at that time:

“I—I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

So what if you stuttered? So what if his brows furrowed with what was a damn patronizing worry? You didn’t care as you gathered your stuff without another word exchanged.

You made a mental note to wear your favourite outfit the next week, forgoing pants and turtle-necks, because you could fucking take care of yourself.

Penny encouraged you, clearly having faith in you too, but she also gently reminded you that you could report him.

As if. Brining more attention to your person was the last thing you needed.

You could do this on your own, thank you very much.

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For all your bravado, you asked a girl you barely knew by name if you could sit next to her and nearly cried when she said yes and another girl seated herself to your other side within two minutes. You even smiled for yourself contentedly, seeing a dawn of a new age.

And then Daniel fucking Gallo walked in and charmed his way to the seat next to you anyway, somehow managing to scare off your original saviour as well.

Well, too bad for him; you had your confidence back along with your outfit that suited you much better and you were going to tell that jerk to fuck off, just like you promised to Bucky and yourself.

“You thought I wasn’t coming today, la mia bella ragazza? I couldn’t bear not seeing you…” he started off again and you eyed him head to toe, causing a smile spread on his face. You had found that smile cute once, the kind of smile you would let a person get away with murder for.

Now it was making you want to commit murder.

“I was hoping actually.”

“Oh, sassy today, are we? What’s wrong?”

What’s wrong? He had the audacity to-

You can’t punch him, you can’t punch him, think of the bureaucracy and your future…

What about my satisfaction?

Zip it!

You took a deep breath and watched that asshole take a seat next to you, automatically shuffling his chair closer.

“Daniel, look-“

“Zitta, zitta…” he interrupted you softly, but the manner he spoke with only pissed you off further. Fuck Italian.

“I don’t know what that means and frankly, I don’t care. I’m taken. I said so, several times. So back off,” you hissed, watching your volume despite the prof not being in yet – you didn’t need a scene. You were disgustingly certain Daniel had brought enough attention to you already – in fact, you were shocked Steve hadn’t learned about this yahoo yet with how quickly gossip spread on this university.

And that Bucky hadn’t told him-- God, you hoped Bucky wasn’t saving it for today’s boys night-

To your utter shock and annoyance, Daniel didn’t seem bothered in the slightest, smiling widely as if amused at your antics. “Am I putting doubts in that bella testolina of yours?”

Your blood boiled at such implication… and maybe there was a thin flow of steam coming from your ears too? Because you couldn’t fucking believe this guy, implying such thing-

--okay, you weren’t sure what exactly he said, honestly, but you understood just enough. No doubts. You were perfectly sure he was an asshole you wanted to have nothing to do with.

“No! No way! Jesus- okay. Let’s be clear. Was... this,” you gestured between the two of you in self-explanatory manner, “flattering at first? Yes. But seriously, now you’re just making me uncomfortable.”

As if appealing to his conscience would work…

“Then give in. Just one little dinner,” he insisted, showing a small space between his thumb and forefinger, grinning as if he hadn’t been listening to you at all. “What could it hurt? Who knows, maybe I’ll show you a real good time and you’ll forget all about some boring boyfriend of yours… who I’m not sure he exists actually-“

You inhaled sharply, wheezing in fact, heat of righteous anger flooding your whole body. That fucker-!

“Oh for fuck’s sake-“

You can’t punch him. You. Can. Not. Punch. Him.

You repeated those words to yourself like a magical mantra that was losing its effect, because there was nothing you wanted more. Maybe except for Steve punching him, that would be quite a show… but it was not an option.

For one, Steve, thank heavens, still didn’t know about Daniel’s unwanted advances and for two, chances were that he would show a little less restraint and you wouldn’t blame him one bit. But it would bring a whole new set of trouble, so you had to deal with this alien of a man on your own.

And right now, staring into that stupidly smug face of his, you only saw one possible solution.

“Okay, fine.”

You almost slapped your hand over your mouth as soon as the words left your lips, numbing horror overwhelming your body.

What the fuck did you just do?!

“Yes!” Daniel whisper-yelled, pumping his fist and you noticed that the class was gradually falling silent, probably with Bucky’s approach – but there was still enough chatter going on for you to save the situation somehow.

“-but you have to earn it,” you added in an equally hushed tone.

He cocked his eyebrow, as if smelling your fear that arrived instantly after the rash decision he provoked from you. “I won’t back out from a challenge, bellezza.”

Yeah, I friggin’ bet.

Your mind was racing hundred miles an hour, choosing to ignore the whatever-it-meant petname in favour of the crisis at hand.

“How about… you ask the professor a question-“ Oh Bucky was going to have your head on a stick for that, but hey, he had offered to help you- “-and if he answers wrong, I’ll go to one dinner with you, tonight.”

…that would be alright, right? Just to get rid of him. One dinner so he would get the clue at last. You’d be a hateful bitch, possibly embarrassing him, doing just about anything for him to finally stop making your life a living hell.

Yeah, looking back at the product of your frantic brain, it had been an excellent thinking actually. Go impulsive me!

Hell, tonight was perfect for it, with Steve having a night off with Bucky and you originally planning on studying with Penny. You would tell Steve after, explaining everything—or maybe before? Bucky was your witness that you weren’t exactly an enthusiastic participant in this, surely he would help you explain and would be able to distract Steve-

But really, that was all theoretical, because Daniel would have to catch Bucky off guard first, which was very unlikely. Bucky knew his subject through and through and Daniel’s chances were extremely low anyway.

“Easy-peasy,” Daniel grinned confidently, making you internally roll your eyes at his overconfident ass.

Or perhaps you had let your annoyance show for real? You couldn’t tell anymore, the adrenaline rush in your veins making certain things too sharp and other dull. For instance, you registered Daniel’s eyes flickering towards the teacher’s stand, his already wide smile growing enough to nearly tear his mouth.

“Even easier when we have a substitute.”

“What,” you blurted out, head snapping to the professor at the front.

A flash of blond hair and a shade darker beard. Broad shoulders. Blue eyes of which you simply knew they had a glint of green in them.

Your heart positively stopped in your chest, your lips parting in mute horror.

“Oh shit.”

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Vocabulary: Perfetto - perfect Principessa – princess Aspetta – wait La mia (bella) ragazza – my (pretty) girl Zitta – shh Bella testolina – pretty head

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Part 2

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Eh, I swear the first idea was giving off less of a harassment vibe. But it gets better, I promise ;)

I apologize to Italians if you find this offensive, but it was in fact not my intention at all for Daniel to be a representation of a whole nation. I figured there are insistent jerks all over the globe. (And I happened to have an Italian real-life template, not gonna lie.)

[cheryls-blossomed]

I just wanted to take a moment to appreciate the fact that WA have been a couple for seasons 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 and about to be season 8. That’s 6 out of 8 seasons they’ve been together. That’s unusual and a long time in tv world, especially superhero tv world. Especially when showing the different stages of the ship. Also with no real break up drama. I don’t count the brief break they did in S3 ep 16. Once they got together, that was all she wrote. The many challenges they faced actually strengthened their ship not torn it apart which we don’t tend to see on tv because tptb want to “keep things interesting”. Lets face it Hollywood doesn’t do a good job or portraying healthy ships in general. They always either go with the slow burn for seasons on end to delay the endgame couple till the last season or two or throw in some ridiculous drama along the way that causes the couples we thought were solid into mess. I can’t even name too many ships that made it from start to finish without some type of threat to the ship or an actual break up. I know some think that married couples are boring to watch, that variety is better but I personally like it seeing married life if the couples have that it factor which WA does. Matter of fact I want to see more of domestic WA. Maybe because we don’t get nearly enough of seeing them in the quiet moments that it continues to draw me in. We’ve definitely seen tons of huge, beautiful moments to talk about. WA are an amazing couple and the actors have amazing chemistry together. Here’s to a few quiet moments in season 8 🥂. In the meantime, I’m gonna continue to appreciate this beautiful couple while we still get to see them. We all know the end is near whether that be this season, next season or season 10

I'm a big fan of the acknowledgement in story-telling that marriage doesn't have to be the final destination for a ship that is therefore put off until a final season. Marriage is a journey and more and more entertainment properties committing to a ship and showing their journey as a couple and as a married couple is a good thing. Will they/won't they, constant drama, etc. that works sometimes, but only in certain kinds of shows with certain stories, and the vast majority of the time, when this is the path a show decides to go, it doesn't work. It's really tiresome to watch unnecessary drama compounded upon unnecessary drama, and it takes away enjoyment from a ship that might otherwise be a great ship.

One thing The Flash did absolutely right is Westallen. And truth be told, given that Westallen's love story is the very heart and foundation of the show, the narrative having Westallen get together in early season 3 and having them be together for the entire duration of the show, showcasing their love story and journey and strengthening their love story constantly, is what has kept the momentum of the show going. Because let's be honest, the plots are messy, the Big Bads can be really dull or get little development or screentime, several episodes induce utter ennui, and some plots are so nonsensical that we are left utterly confused and exhausted by the end of them. But to be quite honest, despite all of its flaws, the reason this show continues to have such high emotional investment and good momentum is because of Westallen. TPTB knew what the draw was, and they ensured that this show is essentially a love story between Barry Allen and Iris West-Allen at its heart and core. The narrative certainly shortchanges Westallen in terms of screentime and does not capitalize on their magic nearly enough, but Westallen are the heart of the show: their love drives the narrative, and that's the key to the show's success, imo.