#cause she has a normal age and lifespan and such

[frog-in-a-dew]

New girl new monster design

[tanoraqui]

D&D 5e Adventure Concept: Wild Magic Siblings Dungeon Crawl Unwilling Reunion

Plot/Party Backstory: Four siblings whose mother (gender-neutral) is some sort of inhuman entity who is a font of wild magic, who serially has children then promptly abandons them with their dad (gender-neutral), who is basically a normal guy, well-adjusted except for his unceasing dedication to this objectively Not Great relationship.

The siblings all have at least 1 level in Wild Magic Sorcerer, innate (and causing problems!) from birth. But they’ve all coped with this familial situation and the struggles of their magic in different ways, often at odds with one another. They’ve all gone totally separate ways in life, some may not even be on speaking terms…until they’re all drawn back together because their mother has somehow gotten Dad into real trouble this time, not just the ongoing struggle of uncontrollable bursts of magic from four kids in about ten years. She hasn’t left him with a new baby in years, in fact—hasn’t so much as dropped by since the youngest was like six!* But he’s truly stupid about this woman, so even two decades* later, he agreed to go on a romantic trip with her…and now he’s trapped at the center of some deadly dungeon because their flighty bitch mother just left him there.

*years based on human lifespans; modify as appropriate for other races

So now it’s up to these four siblings! All together again for the first time in years, can they get along for long enough to survive this dungeon and rescue their (generally agreed upon) one good & beloved parent?

The Party:

(May or may not be in descending order of age; it’s up to you.)

The Wizard (lv 1 Wild Magic Sorc, lv ?? Abjuration Wizard): Specializes in negating magic (first tutelage from their Dad, who picked up stray tricks while raising this lot). Has been in academia since they left home, probably no adventuring experience. Roll 1d20 with disadvantage for potential wild magic surge on any spells that are on Sorc list as well as Wizard.

The Sorcerer (lv ??+1 Wild Magic Sorc): The only one still in contact with their mother, who has served as somewhat of a mentor on their adventures. Primary business is adventuring! Uses Tides of Chaos and has wild magic surges CONSTANTLY.

The Barbarian (lv 1 Wild Magic Sorc, lv ?? Wild Magic Barbarian): Prefers to just not use magic! Vents it a little through cantrips, and has figured out how to focus it into a limited range of effects when it slips out when they loses their temper in battle (rages). Sometimes risks Mage Armor (stacked with Unarmored Defense!). Has definitely been adventuring, though maybe not as primary occupation.

The Cleric (lv 1 Wild Magic Sorc, lv ?? Arcane Cleric): Turned to a god NOT associated with their mother for help. Has worked in a temple since they left home, may have some adventuring experience. Roll 1d20 with disadvantage for potential wild magic surge on any spells that are on Sorc list as well as Cleric/domain spells.

Party Level: They should all be an odd-numbered level, so the Sorcerer’s sticking with their birth class has paid off in granting them higher level spells than the Cleric or Wizard. (Cleric and Wizard do both have access to 1 of those higher-level spell slots, but they can only upcast into it.) I suggest at least level 7, so all PCs can be at least two steps down their subclass paths, and no higher than 13, so the Sorcerer still has no control over their wild magic surge.

The Dungeon: Any level-suitable pre-made dungeon will do!

[stellar-collective]

//blood

buncha ghost designs i whipped up for a new au i’m working on (yes another one this is how i have fun)

it’s a ghost hunters au! Reginald and Phoenix both work at the Ghost Hunter Agency in a world where ghosts are like. a pretty common and established problem and they have to go in and investigate them Phasmophobia style! more details about them and the ghosts under the cut :3

cw for usual ghost/true crime stuff (gruesome murders/deaths and all that)

ok i have a whole story behind how these guys are all connected and why Reginald and Phoenix are visiting them all (basically Doctor Zor is a ghost so vengeful that they became a serial killer from the afterlife and they’re the victims that also became vengeful ghosts) but let’s focus on them individually first! they’re all from different eras and died in a variety of ways. in the actual story, most of them are invisible 90% of the time, so some of these designs are just for fun!

starting from the top left, the Fabricator was a fashion designer and one of Zor’s oldest recorded victims, dying around the 1910s. got shot by her own bear archer, L. she’s one of the most frightening ghosts to deal with because she’s fully aware of her surroundings and isn’t lashing out from confusion/fear, she just really loves scaring people to death. she haunts her old workshop and enjoys chasing people around with pins and scissors and setting up elaborate traps for them

below her is John Juniper, a 1940s starlet who was killed in a theater via electrical “accident” (Zor wrecked the wires) and happily haunted said theater for seventy years before Plot came along and riled him, prompting the GHA (Ghost Hunter Agency) to try and figure out why he was suddenly acting up. he’s normally fairly chill, but flies into a frenzy if you touch his masks or do classic bad luck theater things (whistling on stage, saying Macbeth, etc). he’s really scary when he’s hunting; dropping stage lights, making mirrors shatter, causing visual and auditory hallucinations, making spotlights go crazy, etc. Phoenix found this out the hard way lol

to his right is Commander Solaris, who died working on a project for the Space Race in the late 50s. the radioactive materials she was working with exploded, and now she haunts the remains of her lab. she is TERRIFYING to get near and extremely radioactive; the surest way of tracking her movements being a geiger counter. she fritzes out any electrical equipment nearby, glows in the dark, and has odd effects on the human body (shortness of breath, adrenaline spikes, plus the radiation). she’s the ghost that got the closest to killing Phoenix and probably took a few years off their lifespan.

moving upwards, we have Caliente and Hivemind, who died exactly how you’d expect: Hivemind was allergic to bees and simply supremely confident in his ability to keep them pacified (too bad Zor riled them up) and Caliente died in a welding “accident” that burned his house down. they both died in the 70s.

then we have Ollie (<3), who starved to death in a lighthouse in the 80s and, driven to madness by Zor, eternally guards something important to them. although he’s the least murderous of the bunch, he has one of the most visually frightening power sets; going absolutely ballistic with the howling and wailing and chains rattling and huge dark shapes slapping their tentacles against the windows and making the air go cold and the lights crazy if you even THINK about going to the top floor. but once Phoenix gives him an otter pop and snaps him to the present day, he calms right down.

there are a couple other ghost characters who i didn’t draw (like Anna Ulanova, who died in a train crash and fills the valley with haunting violin music on clear nights, and Daniel Sans, who fell to a chemical accident) but those are all the main ones i think! um, other important stuff— Roxana is still very much alive and kicking (she’s the same age as Reginald) but ends up catching Zor’s attention and almost becomes their latest victim before Phoenix and Reggie step in. i’ll probably draw the living characters later when i’ve properly visualized how i want the GHA uniforms to look. and yes, Phoenix has thrown themselves onto a pentagram and shouted “rock n roll, buckaroo!” because they do not feel fear. oki enough rambling for now :P

i feel like there HAS to be some absolutely genius title for this since it’s literally about ghosts and it’s the game I Expect You To Die but… i can’t think of anything. currently taking suggestions lol

[gallusrostromegalus]

How old's everyone by the time canon bleach rolls around?

Well that's an interesting question that I have devoted way too much thought to.

Most people in soul society age at the normal pace of one year per year, so they only have One Age, but even a tiny excess of spiritual energy can make some age much slower, and in Seireitei, which is full of Spiritually Potent People, most people have two ages- Calendar and Living Age. Calendar is how many years someone has existed, Living is approximately what developmental age they're at. Most Shinigami age at about one year for every 2-5 Lived, with average "died of natural causes and not in the line of duty" lifespans coming to 200-400 years. Power Level has a HEAVY Inverse correlation to aging, but once you hit the power levels associated with Seated officers and captains, things get Weird. Also fatal. Very few captains have died of Natural Causes.

But re: Everyone's ages in June 2000, when the series starts under the cut:

Karakura Gang:

The Kids are not dead yet, so not Subject to the extended lifepsans yet, but I did age everyone up a bit- Ichigo and his Human Friends are all Juniors in High school- age 17... ish.

Ichigo's 18th birthday occurs a couple weeks after he meets Rukia. He was held back from starting Kindergarten for a year because he was too short to reach the drinking fountains.

Chad was tall and his parents were both working full time so his mom persuaded his school to let him in early, so Chad only had his 17th birthday the month before he meets Rukia.

Kon: CA: 132 (9 years in his body) LA: 3, but in cat years, so really more like 22 in human years. An grad student in charge of a pack of teenagers.

Rukia: A Member of the Karakura Gang by association (i.e. my staging notes), Rukia is CA: 73 and LA: 20. She and Renji entered the academy when they were CA:25 and LA: 16. Like many high-powered shinigami, her rate of aging is slowing as she accumulates power, so she will likely live to see at least 500 (unless something happens)

Renji: See: Rukia. Rukia is eight months older than Renji and NEVER lets him forget it.

Kisuke Urahara: CA: 328 LA: 32.4545454545- Urahara is aging at one year for every 11 lived which pleases him because at least once a century his ages will line up and he'll have a straight shot of numbers and that's CLEARLY an excuse to have a MEGA birthday party and give him extra presents! He'll be 333 AND 33 in 2005, so Ichigo should start planning his surprise party!

Yoruichi Shihoin: CA: 329 LA: 28 Yoruichi is 365 days older than Kisuke (He was born in 1672) a leap year) and NEVER lets him forget it.

Isshin Shiba: CA: UUUH- LA: UUUUUUUH- Isshin Shiba was born to the Shiba Clan in 1846, was 154 when he vanished in 1980, appears to be in his mid-forties now, and can only actually REMEMBER the last 20 years of his life with any Clarity. The battle with White left his soul so damaged that when he fused with Masaki, he lost all his spiritual powers and forgot damn near everything- he remembers his given name, the name and face of Kaien Shiba but not how he knows him, that shinigami and hollows exist... but when he overheard Ryuken Ishida lying to the hospital staff that this was his friend from medical school who had been in a terrible car accident, he believed him, and assumed he WAS a doctor that had been in a terrible accident. Masaki was just as frightened of the Shinigami coming after the Quincy. While she could keep her relatives at bay, she couldn't fool the shinigami, so she asked the others to make sure Isshin never tried to return to spirit world... and they went along with it. As far as Isshin knows, Urahara was a guy he worked for as a teenager who helped him set up shop as a doctor after the accident. Yoruichi really is someone he used to be on the intramural volleyball team with back in college. Shinji is some guy who knew his parents, and decided to stay a friend of the family even after after they died in the accident. He and Masaki were married in a beautiful ceremony some weeks ago... Shame they lost all the pictures... Ichigo's promotion to Substitute Shinigami and the confrontation about "You used to be a CAPTAIN?? Why didn't you warn me and the twins about anything???" is one HELL of a shock for him.

Soul Society:

Genryusai Shigekuni Yamamoto: CA: 2,146 LA: 75 He was enjoying a Long Prime Middle Age until his Divorce in 1196, at which point he went bald, went gray and lost a significant amount of his muscle mass in under a decade, and has looked like an Old Man since.

Chojiro Sasakibe: CA: 1,358 LA: 66 (debated). Chojiro was barely 100 years old when he turned up at Yamamoto's Post Officer Self-Defense Dojo and refused to leave. His Lived Age is a secret known only to Unohana- the debate rages because Sasakibe was born with his Silver Fox hair, and with that removed, shows very little signs of aging. He insists he "-Just keep myself very well." and refuses to elaborate. He has a standing agreement with the SWA that his LA over various years may be revealed after he dies, so they may let people lay bets, on the condition that they give him a percentage when laid to support his Black Tea Habit.

---

Soi Fon: CA: 201 LA: 29 Soi Fon has genetically terrific skin and if her mother is any indication, she'll look like a twentysomething until she hits menopause. THEN she'll look like a Silver Fox.

Marechiyo Omaeda: CA: 102 LA: 24 Omaeda has only been Lieutenant for 14 years, taking over the position early after his father (the previous 2nd Division lieutenant) had an extremely unexpected stroke. He's recovering well, but doesn't want to return because he's so proud of Marechiyo.

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Ichimaru Gin: CA:DEBATABLE, but at least 357 LA: 21 Gin has several days that *could* count as his "Birthday" but he's existed in his current body for as long as Rangiku has known him.

Rojuro "Rose" Otoribashi: CA: 312 LA: 37 Rose was promoted to captain a bare 2 years ago when TBTP happens, and is considered Young for a captain. In terms of Living Age, he's one of the oldest Visored.

Izuru Kira: CA: 89 LA: 23 He was a bit older than Rukia and Renji in CA and LA when he entered the Academy. He could have entered sooner but he was the sole caregiver for both his parents, who died premature deaths of chronic illnesses.

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Retsu Unohana: CA: 804 LA: "As old as my tongue and a little older than my teeth." According to the official records, Retsu Unohana enrolled in Shin'o Academy in 1198, and when asked her age, said "I became as I am last year" Which the intake officer interpreted to mean that she died and appeared as an adult in Spirit World in 1197, and she has absolutely failed to correct that misconception. Or update the public records regarding her age.

Yachiru Unohana: CA 1,497 LA: 37 To her credit, Unohana DID die when she was 17 and appeared in the afterlife at the age she died at. Then she barely aged by the time Yamamoto recruited her in 998. She served as Kenpachi of the 11th Divisison for 199 years, until her battle with an as-yet-unnamed young man in 1197. Shortly after her 200th year as Kenpachi passed, she came to terms with the fact she was no longer the fighter she was, and fell in battle to her lieutenant. With that, "Yachiru" Unohana died, and the following day she enrolled in the academy under the name Retsu to study medicine.

Isane Koetetsu: CA: 282 LA: 28 Isane and her sister Kiyone are unusual for Shinigami in that the Koetesu clan has some of the slowest-aging shinigami in it, and the slowed aging STARTS as infants. Isane couldn't even enroll in Shin'o Academy until her 100th birthday, and even then she needed special dispensation to let what was functionally a 10-year old take college classes.

Hanataro Yamada: CA: 141 LA: 23 Hanataro is the younger brother of Former 4th div Lieutenant Seinosuke Yamada, who now runs the Seireitei Medical Center i.e. The Rich Bitch Hospital. Hanataro entered the academy at a very young age like Isane and graduated with honors, but people tend to compare him to his more accomplished older brother, which both of them think is Unfair seeing as Seinosuke is a whole 112 years older than him. Hanatarou started in the 4th division at the tender age of 42/14, and some of the other medics decided to prank the lieutenant's baby brother by sending him to do the initial medical checkup of newly-appointed 11th division captain Zaraki. When he failed to return for six hours, Seinosuke went into a panicked rage and ran to the 11th, ready to make Zaraki the shortest-serving captain ever if need be, only to discover Hanataro patiently vaccinating and enthusiastic Zaraki for EVERYTHING, a process that was taking a while because Zaraki's spiritual pressure kept breaking the needles. Hanataro has been the 11th Division Pocket Medic ever since, to the detriment of Seinosuke's blood pressure. Zaraki encouraged his interest in Toxicology by bringing him dozens of venomous snakes to milk while on field expeditions, also much to the detriment of Seinosuke's blood pressure.

---

Sosuke Aizen: CA: 432 LA: 47 Aizen was born an identical twin, but was the only brother to inherit any spiritual powers. The boy's mother was caught and killed by an enraged shopkeep stealing food to feed a half-starving Sosuke when they were young children. The boys managed to get jobs in another city working at a candy store, and did so well that the owner left the store to them when he retired. Sosuke's marketing talents and Sosato's culinary skills made "My Brother's Candy" a wild success, and soon they were opening franchise stores, and became popular minor celebrities in their district. Sosuke even married and had children- and grand children, and was an active member of his district government and merchants council, personally opening up several schools and water treatment facilities. Then, shortly after he and Sosato celebrated their 88th birthday, tragedy struck. There was a massive flood that lead to a massive crop failure that lead to a massive disease outbreak, which lead to major political upheaval, which lead to Sosuke and his brother having to flee their home. Unfortunately, Sosato dearly loved his brother, and when the hail of arrows came down on them from the soldiers pursing the civilians, Sosato decided that he was near the end of his life anyway, while Sosuke- still functionally in his 20's- had so much to live for, and put himself between his brother and the onslaught. And so Sosuke Aizen went from Revered Councilor, Celebrated Candymaker, beloved Great-grandfather and Twin to an Exile and the sole survivor of his name. He joined the Shinigami, determined to make the Soul Society a better place where what happened to him would never happen again- only to discover that he was at the mercy of a corrupt and incompetent government, and worse, an apparently uncaring God. Until one night when he had a dream- all the pieces of his study of Kido came together and he realized there WAS a way to fix all this- He just had to become God. With that, Gin slithered away into the night and deep into the far districts, so he could assume a human form and forge an identity Aizen wouldn't question when they met back up again.

Shinji Hirako: CA: 412 LA: 31 Shinji genuinely thought he could get away with impersonating a high schooler to spy on Ichigo- after all, he still looked like he was what, 22? With the right clothes and some recent slang- "Why is there some creepy old guy wearing the school uniform?" Ichigo asks his friends the second he sees Shinji. "He looks like some kind of weird hipster who's trying to relive his youth." Sighs Mizurio. "-Or a really deluded pervert who thinks he can sneak into the locker room." says Tatsuki, cracking her knuckles. "He doesn't look THAT old-" Keigo protests, and there is the briefest glimmer of hope for Shinji's Ego. "-Maybe he's some kind of super-senior who got held back a bunch because he's dumb as a brick." Shinji crumples to the ground, defeated by the direct hits to his insecurities.

Hinamori Momo: CA: 66 LA: 26 Momo has an extreme case of babyface but is secretly ripped under her uniform and well on her way to MILFdom from the waist down. The first time Hiyori sees her in shorts is a psychological and spiritual awakening.

Hiyori Sarugaki: CA: 126 LA: 20 Hiyori is the youngest Living Age and slowest-aging visored. She gets mad about her youthful appearance but also uses it to get children's discounts at theme parks.

---

Byakuya Kuchiki: CA: 181 LA: 26 Byakuya was married quite young, and Widowed soon after. He's still in his prime, and exceptionally hale for a Kuchiki- Despite the exceptional spiritual power of the clan, the centuries of inbreeding have given them severe health issues and very short lifespans for their power. Byakuya's grandfather Ginrei only lived to 486, and his father Sojun died at 200 from Hemophillia. Byakuya is still working up the nerve to tell Rukia that she will likely outlive him by a considerable margin, and the fact that Rukia hasn't got a nibling to spoil was His medical problem, not Hisana's.

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Sajin Komamura: CA: 712 LA: 22 Komamura is somehow both Older AND Younger than everyone thinks he is, and that's not even getting into the "Wait, is that in human years or wolf years?" Debacle. When Yamamoto met Sajin for the first time in the 1400's he was extremely impressed with the giant warriors skill and courage, and before Sajin had a chance to greet him properly, asked the warrior to join his Academy. "I- I'm really old but I'm actually eight." came the voice of a small boy from behind the helmet and Yamamoto had to go stand with his face pressed into the wall for a minute.

Love Aikawa: CA:345 LA:33 Love Aikawa is one of the few shinigami who came into his spiritual powers so fast that he did NOT have a creer before becoming a Shinigami.

Tetsuzaemon Iba: CA: 154 LA: 30 Testsuzaemon was still a small boy when Komamura was appointed to the third seat of the first division, and got to know his mother Chikane Iba. Chikane worked extremely hard, but held Yamamoto in high regard, and Komamura in similar regard by extension. So now Tetsuzaemon is lieutenant to a man he still secretly thinks of as his "Favorite Babysitter".

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Shunsui Kyoraku: CA: 856 LA: 48 Shunsui was forced to join the academy before his 100th birthday by his noble family because they had not actually planned on actually having a third son survive to adulthood and didn't really know what to do with him. Both Shunsui and Ukitake are old enough to remember when Unohana was still Yachiru, and Shut The Fuck Up about that fact.

Nanao Ise: CA: 141 LA: 28 When she first arrives in Seireitei, Yachiru Kusajishi is LA Eight, and quickly makes friends with Nanao, who is the other little girl close to her age with spiritual powers: "You're my baby sister now, but you'll be my Big sister sooner than later." Yachiru explained. "What do you mean?" Nanao blinked at her. "You're what, Living Age Seven, right?" Yachiru asked, squinting at her. "Yeah, but I'm really Forty-One!" Nanao insisted. It bothered her when people refused to take her seriously because of her age. "Right. I'm like Living Age Eight, so I'm your big sister. But I'm actually Four hundred and six." "…What?" Nanao gaped. "but, but that means you must be aging at…" She frowned, trying to do long division in her head. "-I age about one year for every fifty lived, yeah." "You- oh god." Nanao realized. "You outlive everyone you know." "Not everyone! Ken-chan and I are both aging at the same pace." Yachiru explained, wobbling a bit as she walked the log over the creek. "I guess I'm lucky- there aren't that many of us who age this slow so most of us don't have anybody who's really a 'life-long' companion, and I might be only one with a parent that's got a similar lifespan!" She grinned. "I age at about one for five, so in- ...in less than ten years I'll be older than you." Nanao hummed with concern. "Yep! But until then, you have to do everything your Big Sister says!" Yachiru grinned.

Lisa Yadomaru: CA: 427 LA: 36 Even though they're not REMOTELY related, Lisa bonded very strongly to Nanao when she was Shunsui's lieutenant. This causes some dispute with Yachiru when she returns to Soul Society because according to yachiru, Nanao is her Little Big Sister, owing to the difference in CA, to therefore Lisa is her Big-Big Little Sister, and Lisa thinks she doesn't have to support Yachiru's Candy Habit.

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Kaname Tousen: Calendar age: 499 LA: 32 After the events of the Winter War, during which Kaname turned 500, Kaname disputes that he is only 350, because he spent the last 150 years under Aizen's Curse and "-You call that living?" Everyone (except Sajin) regularly forgets when Kaname's birthday is because he doesn't celebrate it- it was also his sister Kakiyo's birthday and he hasn't really felt like 'celebrating' since she was murdered, and Ichigo is the first person to REALLY understand his feelings on the matter, his own mother dyind so close to his birthday and how visiting her Memorial wasn't exactly a celebration, but it wasn't exactly mourning either.

Shuuhei Hisagi: CA:119 LA: 27 Renji entered the Academy the year Shuuhei was due to Graduate and still thinks of Shuuhei as his "Senpai". Shuuhei entered the academy the same year Rangiku was due to graduate, and still thinks of her as his "Senpai". Renji once called Rangiku his "Grand-Senpai" She and Shuuhei both beat him with shoes about it.

Kensei Muguruma: CA:469 LA: 29 Kensei supports Kaname's declaration that he's only 350 because finding out Kaname is older than him brings up all the insecurities Kensei developed from being the MUCH younger brother to five sisters, and he can't handle being "The Baby" again.

Mashiro Kuna: CA: 506 LA: 25 It took 47 rounds of Janken with Yachiru for Mashiro to finally be the first to get to three victories and declare herself The Biggest Sister. She also saw Kensei's meltdown about Kaname being older than him and is quietly holding onto the fact she's older than both of them until the moment it will cause her beloved captain the maximum amount of Psychological Damage.

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Rangiku Matsumoto: CA: 357 LA: 29 Rangiku measures her Calendar Age from the date she appeared in Soul Society at age 14, which is an accepted practice, but sometimes people want to add their years in the living world as well. Rangiku supports Kaname's claim to be 350 because they let HER knock 14 years off her CA for an even more arbitrary reason, and also it means she doesn't have to get him a belated 500th Birthday gift for another 150 years.

Toshiro Hitsugaya: CA: 60 LA: 12 Hitsugaya is FAR AND AWAY the youngest Shinigami to achieve a seated officer's position by any age, and this was 100% done as a political maneuver by Yamamoto. Hitsugaya is no Slouch- he graduated salutatorian of his class and is the youngest person ever to achieve Bankai, but Yamamoto slapped him into the lieutenant's position 20 years ago (Hitsugaya graduated within weeks of Isshin Shiba's Disappearance) SPECIFICALLY to put Rangiku between him and any unscrupulous noble houses looking to forcibly adopt him/marry him to a spare heir/straight-up kidnap Hitsugaya to prop up their failing genetic lines. One of the clans tried it anyway and the resulting smoking crater where the clan compound used to be put the fear of Haineko into everyone and has so far discouraged further attempts.

---

Kenpachi Zaraki: CA: 1,477* LA: 42 Like Gin, Zaraki has several dates that could count as the start of his existence, but when asked how old he was at the first moon-viewing party he went to- "...How d'ya guys measure that?" Zaraki asked, studying Shunsui with his good eye in a way that made the hair on the back of his neck prickle. "Uh- well, for most people, it's when you were Born in Soul Society, but if you died and appeared here it's the day you first existed in Soul Society." he explained, feeling like he was missing an important dimension to the question. "Oh! In that case I'm- wait, shit. What day is it today?" "It's November 18th." Unohana smiled. "Ah, fuck! With all the chaos I forgot-!" Zaraki laughed. "Turned 1,377 last Monday." The assembled Shinigami all stared blanky, save for Unohana, who appeared to be trying to not laugh into her cup. "I'm sorry, I'm not sure I heard that correctly..?" Jushiro asked, entirely sure he had. "One Thousand Three Hundred Seventy-Seven." Zaraki repeated slowly, grin cracking across his face. "-Can't say I've done as good a job lookin' after myself as Sasakibe here though." "I- good heavens! The only person you're younger than is Yamamoto himself!" Aizen exclaimed, eyes wide behind his glasses. Zaraki frowned at that for a moment and then nodded. "...If you say so." Unohana made a small snuffling noise as she tried to not snort sake up her nose laughing. "How old are YOU, Mr. Glasses?" Yachiru asked. "Hm? Oh, I'm 332! And how old are y-" Aizen began to reply before he was interrupted by Yachiru jabbing her finger into the tip of his nose, cackling. "HAH! you're seventy- uh- seventy four years younger than me! You're a little baby man!" She clapped her hands with glee. "Unohana-sama? Are you alright?" Ukitake asked as the chief medic coughed suddenly. "I'm having a great time!" She wheezed, eyes watering from accidentally inhaling her drink.

Yachiru Kusajishi: CA: 506 LA: 10 Yachiru was Very Loved by her parents. Zaraki tells her this. When he found her, he found her in an otherwise abandoned house, with her parents, who had obviously died protecting her from the late-winter cold snap. She was still in her mother and father's arms when he came to investigate her cries. Her parents were wearing kimono that had the bottom third cut off, just above their knees, even though it was the middle of winter. She was wearing a double-layered baby Kimono made of the fabric they had cut off, to make sure she stayed warm. He took her into the nearest village, in hopes someone there could nurse her and tell him what her name was. She was lucky- there was a woman nursing her own daughter who agreed to take on her as well. But the Village elder hung his head in shame- he knew the couple the vagrant described- they lived far up the mountain, and only went by the name "Kusajishi", the name of the district, as was the style of many poor and illiterate farmers. They only came down from their farm once or twice a year to sell the special herbs they grew up there- the elder had seen the woman pregnant, but they had not come down to tell him the girl's name for the village records. So that day, the vagrant became Kenpachi Zaraki, and gave to her the name Yachiru as any parent should name their child, and the name Kusajishi, after the parents that loved her so. She only ever calls her adopted father Ken-chan, and is the only person who is allowed to call him that, because a parent should be called something special by their child. In deference to her parent's sacrifice, she does not call him "father". That was another man, who died for her. Zaraki does not lie to Yachiru, ever. Everything he told her about how they met is true. He has omitted one detail from the story, however. Her parents died from the cold snap because they had to be at least eighty, and not blessed with spiritual power like her. She had outlived her parents as an infant. And after speaking to the village elder about how, to his shame, he'd never managed to ask the little girl's name, even since he was a little boy, and failed to send anyone up there to check on the family, The vagrant with no name sat near the fire in the village hall, holding the little girl with no name. He thought about how terribly lonely it was, to not have a name. and how lucky he was that he had a mother who also had an extremely long lifespan that was able to live through raising him, and that he could still visit and speak to. and how unlucky this little girl was, that she did not. "How d'ya get a name?" the vagrant asked the village elder. "Well, here you just tell me what your name is, and I write it down in the village records." the elder said, watching him with curiosity. "...if I tell you a name, will you show me how to write it?" He asked, voice barely above a whisper. "Of course." The elder nodded. The vagrant was silent for a while. "Then her name is Yachiru Kusajishi." Said the vagrant. "...And yours?" The elder asked, picking up the record book and inkstone. "Mine?" the vagrant asked. "You're giving her a name because she hasn't got anyone else to do it, aren't you?" The elder asked, gaze steady. "If you name something, it's your responsibility forever, and you're going to have to be responsible for yourself if you're going to be responsible for her." The Vagrant considered this for a while. "My name-" he started and stopped, throat clicking like he was literally choking on the words. "-My name for her is Kenpachi Zaraki."

---

Mayuri Kurotsuichi: CA: 132 LA: 267 Mayuri is the only shinigami aging faster than the expected rate. This is because he escaped from Hell, and Hell would very much like to get his ass back there ASAP.

Nemuri Kurotsuichi: CA: 20 LA: 20 Nemu has been twenty for twenty years now, ever since she was pulled from the goo of her incubation tube by her father Mayuri, and will be 20 for the foreseeable future. The static lack of aging is something Mayuri hopes to fix in future drafts- Nemu is the seventh Nemuri, and the most successful one so far- She's the second Nemuri to actually make it out of her incubation tube, and the first to survive more than a year, but Nemuri Hachigo is already developing in the basement of the 12th in case something happens to her. The knowledge of her 'Little Sister' is something that brings Nemu comfort, like already knowing what you're going to be reincarnated as. "That's really fucked up." Says Uryuu Ishida in the rubble of Las Noches as she puts his intestines back inside his thorax where they belong. He's on a lot of drugs he'd like to know less about. "-It's also kind of cute. In a away. but really fucked up."

Kirio Hikifune: CA: 617 LA: 35 Kirio is one of a handful of people in on Unohana's double identity, but would NEVER betray her beloved Senpai's personal information! She served under Unohana in the fourth and developed her flesh-to-food technique with Unohana's help.

Tama Nikuya: CA: 1,477 LA: 26 Despite being the same age as Zaraki and Unohana and was aging at the same slow rate, the process that turned her into a Puca also caused her to go into bio-hell-fuckery that has effectively stopped her from aging at all. Or rather, she IS aging but every time she dies, she reappears as the LA age she was when she underwent The Flesh Change. She says the process is not infinite- she WILL eventually run out of spare lives, and if she manages to live long enough to die of old age in this body, she will NOT respawn at all. Also- it HURTS! She does die, which hurts, and comes back, which hurts EVEN MORE, and each time she comes back, she's confronted with the prospect of either outling all her friends or putting them through a similar hell to stay together. All in all, DO NOT ATTEMPT. I am speaking to you specifically, Kisuke. Akon Akon: CA: 119 LA: 27 Akon only has the one name but the archives don't like that so he uses it Twice. He was imprisoned without trial in the Maggot's nest for being part Yokai when he was a small child, and sprung to work in R&D By Mayuri shortly after Urahara's disappearence. He's friends with Yachiru and Nanao because there weren't hat many kids in the social circles of the Gotei-13's upper ranks, and all three of them shared a mutual interest in the Dinosaurs that were being discovered at the time. He's friends with Shuuhei because he was forced to take Remedial "if you work in the 12th instead of just R&D you need to actually know how to be a shinigami" classes the same year Shuuhei was accepted to the academy and they were dorm mates. Akon intermittendly draws weird one-panel cartoons for the Seireitei bulletin under a pen name, often about strange scientific jokes and on one notable occasion, bovine anthropological artifacts.

---

Jushiro Ukitake: CA: 857 LA: 44 Ukitake is genuinely unsure if, when or HOW he will die, given that he is host to a Divine Being. Once that particular cat is out of the bag, it gives him something to commiserate about with Tama. Already, Shunsui is starting to outpace his age- is he doomed to bury his friend? or will circumstance force Mimihagi to consume him entirely? Mimihagi is sympathetic- the Left Hand of God is also not sure what this fusion entails for him- it's possible that if Jushiro dies by any other means besides Mimihagi consuming him, that Mimihagi will die with him, and neither is sure what kind of impact that might have on the universe at large. Still, if it weren't for Mimihagi's intervention, Jushiro wouldn't have this time at all, and Mimihagi will never have had these experiences, so neither regrets the choice they made, regardless of how it ends.

Hachigen Ushoda: CA: 278 LA: 32. Hachigen is appearing under the 13th Division because the Kido Corps got absorbed into the 13th while he was away. Hachi consistently fools people into thinking he's way older than he actually is because he has to tailor-make all his clothes for his massive frame, so why NOT go all the way and make something Special for all this effort?

...this post is already three miles long, I'll do the Arrancar and Quincy next.

[raghhhhhyperfixations]

Alien reversal Au Pt2

(I love this au so much)

Adding onto my alien reversal au, here are some things Bruce doesn’t understand because well, he’s a big blob of alien.

1: He doesn’t understand humans aging.

For instance alfred and Gordon, the two obviously get older with time, grey hair maybe they slouch more and they become more weary but Bruce doesn’t understand??

He panics when he sees the obvious white in Gordons hair and then sees it happening to Alfred too (What exactly is this aliens lifespan?? hmmm… think like an elf, he just ages really, really slow, time can pass but he’ll never know.)

Which leads to a very complicated discussion about human lifespans, alfred having to hold Bruce and shush him and promise, promise he won’t ever leave Bruce.

-

2: Bruce doesn’t understand-boundaries.

Period.

Normal bruce doesn’t either but what can you do? Bruce is the type of alien to stick his whole hand into a cheesecake just to see how it feels because woah, cheese mixed with a cake.

Tim can’t stomach cheesecake after that incident.

Or:

Bruce huddling all his children into a nest like space because he’s instinct henning and, hey apparently this includes gordon’s daughter Barbara and Kate and— so many other humans they’ve never met?! Alfred is exasperated when it’s over.

-

3: Bruce has no concept of gender and quite frankly doesn’t care.

-

And to expand on this Au, what about the villains and heroes?

I guess to say atlantis and the Amazonians would still exist but quietly, Bruce technically would be allowed on the island considering his no concept of gender whole thing and the fact the amazonians can’t even dub what he is.

atlantis would be as peaceful as possible ignoring mantis and Aquaman’s brother who would remain villains for the sake of the drive and plot, aquaman only not destroying land because somehow his pseudo son (Aqualad) befriended one of these human kids (Guess which bat kid it was.)

And for the villains, catwoman would still be a thief, a pickpocket but without the batman, she doesn’t have to dress as a weird cat to do it, she just, thieves normally.

Two face would just be harvey dent but with either a DID or bipolar disorder struggling NOT to lose his license whenever he changes mood, having to flip a coin to act on his decisions and having slight bouts of paranoia and anxiety.

He would have an assistant called edward nygma who likes to distract him from his panic manic with random questions and riddles.

Lex luthor is the same, except he’s running an anonymous ‘ALIENS EXIST’ youtube channel and reddit, with semi blurry pictures of Bruce and a ‘I hate that reporter Clark kent.’ account.

Poison Ivy would just be a really active eco friendly girl running a flower shop and totally not laundering the money to help her girl Harley quinn.

And Joker? Well he’s still insane, he’d be an alien hunter, crazed out his mind, i wouldn’t change him much except for the fact he’d go to wild lengths to capture Bruce and prove his existence, dawn him on a stage and dangle him off like an actual bat.

He probably went mad from the lack of people believing him or the fact there’s an alien in his city, either way, he would still harm people to do it and would still end up in the same ‘Joker’ position either way, he would still hurt everybody.

Damian would still be conceived the same way but he’s a little half alien and Bruce would love him very much and Damian might pick up on his father’s instincts for instance, except in the animal variety. (Damian would kidnap so many human animals)

Thus how they get their pets.

As for hal jordan?

He just wishes this alien would stop kidnapping humans and causing trouble for the green lantern corps

(HES TIRED)

Basically superheroes do exist but i’m taking the trauma away from the villains and trying to redeem SOME of them, for instance the flash family would still exist and so would green arrow, heroes are needed after all, but these villains live day to day lives.

(With the occasional, ‘are you being good?’ from Bruce and gordon)

Also shoutout to: @hngryazn for making art <33 i wasn’t expecting it but it was really good and i’m super appreciative, go check that out ^^

[felixcloud6288]

Dungeon Meshi Chapter 60

I think the story might be trying to subtly imply something when the chapter introducing the Winged Lion has a title image called "Monsters that steal your heart".

I have seen this Monty Python skit.

Good news. Laios did not try to fuck a minotaur.

Notice that the succubus Marcille's hair is loose just like Laios's shapeshifter Marcille. The databook on the shapeshifter incident said Marcille's appearance when she resurrected Falin left a strong impression on him, and it's still true at this point.

I've suggested that Laios might have romantic feelings for Marcille, but now I think it might be more accurate that he uses her as a template for what he would seek in a romantic partner.

It could be because she's stuck with him through everything even after he's shown his weirder interests. Or maybe it's because she cares about Falin just as much if not more than he does. Regardless, his subconscious has come to love something about her and uses her as a baseline for what he'd want in a romantic partner.

Also, his subconscious desire includes notes such as "Is a monster", "has multiple heads", and "They could turn me into a monster". Laios would love werewolf stories.

Laios and Marcille's sense of taste comes from the exact same place but it manifests in two completely different ways. They have a childlike obsession with certain design aesthetics and will add as much of that as possible if no one is around to stop them. The only difference is Marcille likes the romantic aesthetic so she'll pour tons of shine, sparkle, and roses into her design. Laios meanwhile likes monster aesthetics so he pours tons of claws, fangs, and teeth into his design.

Since this is a series about cooking, I think the most appropriate analogy is Marcille and Laios's aesthetic taste is akin to someone who only likes one specific flavor and insists on making everything taste like only that. But Marcille wants everything to taste sweet while Laios wants everything to taste spicy.

...

Writing "child" in the above section caused my brain to free-associate some things from earlier chapters that I wish it had done earlier. It would be more appropriate to append this to some other chapter, but I don't feel like searching for which one would be most appropriate.

I looked back at chapters 17 and 28 and compared Marcille and Falin in both of them. Judging by Falin's appearance, she probably started attending the magic academy when she was 10-12. And Marcille by comparison looks like a young teenager who started to hit her growth spurt. So chapter 17 would have been at least 10 years before the main story.

Chapter 28 is the first chapter where I can get a good side-by-side comparison between them in the present time. Falin is taller than Marcille and looks a little older, but they both still look the same relative age to each other.

So now I just need to know what elf growth is like. Everything so far has implied that all the human races age at rates proportional to their expected lifespans. Elves live about five times longer than Tallmen so elves age five times slower than them. So shouldn't Marcille look like she's 14 or 15 at this point?

Anyway, back to the chapter.

I wish I could see the succubus's thought process over how it approached Laios. It scanned his subconscious, approached him as Marcille, and when that didn't work it turned into GIGA HEPTA-HEAD MARCILLE.

Like, did the succubus see that form and think "I must have gotten something wrong. There's no way THIS is what would let me safely approach the target." And when normal Marcille doesn't work, it realized that actually yes, that is what would let it safely approach Laios.

Laios mentioned Marcille is a scylla. In Greek mythology, Scylla is a specific monster first mentioned in the Odyssey. She and her counterpart Charybdis live on opposite sides of a strait and sailors passing through the strait are forced to deal with one of them when passing through it. Scylla was considered the safer option because while she might snatch and devour several of the sailors, she wasn't likely to try destroying the whole ship.

In Laios's mind, Izutsumi is perfect the way she is.

Imagine if these were a trio of other succubi who were playing wingman to the Marcille succubus. Like, what if this panel wasn't Laios's imagination? What if these three literally were standing in front of him when the Marcille succubus said it had transformed the others?

I bet Laios's favorite movie would be Ghidorah, the Three-Headed Monster.

You have to be a particular kind of idiot if an abstract concept given form feels the need to call you one. Like everyone else putting their faith in him, the winged lion may have realized it made a horrible mistake.

Laios and the Winged Lion are in the exact same empty space as Laios's nightmare from chapter 42. Laios's most faithful servant is even hanging out in the background.

I do think the Winged Lion is being genuine about why it likes Laios but there's more that it isn't telling him. It stated it is merely the power to fulfill the wish of the lord of the dungeon. But it's also actively trying to subvert Thistle. It has its own interests and agenda.

Laios's royal regalia is the same outfit he wore as a child in chapter 26.

Genuinely, I like this ideal world of Laios's. I'd love to see it become true and I got so swallowed into it that I had to actively remind myself that the Winged Lion should not be trusted.

Kui really likes to push the joke about the barometz.

I do have a morbid curiosity about what the fruit looks like when it transitions from a fetal to newborn state though. Does the outer fruit burst open when the lamb gets big enough?

Laios doesn't know how to articulate himself. The best he can do to express his desires is say he wants a world where humans live alongside monsters. But this ends up coming across as him being insane and wanting to make a kingdom of monsters.

Laios has always been the outcast and the "other" his whole life. What he really wants is to make a world of unity where every culture, every race, and every species coexists and there is no "other".

What he wants is a world where everyone, no matter their background, race, culture, etc can share a meal together.

The series doesn't use many double-page spreads. But when it does, they are worth looking at.

Well we now know why Kensuke was able to open that door on the sixth floor. Maybe it was made by Thistle to keep intruders out of the deepest levels, and only his power could unlock it. But since his power draws from the Winged Lion, anyone could unlock the door if the Winged Lion permitted them. More proof that the Winged Lion is actively able and willing to defy its master.

Again, Laios doesn't know how to express his thoughts. All he can say about why he liked his dream is that everyone was fine eating monsters. But really, he liked it because everyone accepted each other and everything. And being fine with eating monsters adds to it. In his ideal world, monsters are not these dirty, unclean things that need to be expelled from human society. There is no divide between human society and nature. Instead, humans are an equal part of nature and they accept monsters as part of their lives.

Maybe if he could say that, Kabru wouldn't have such a negative opinion of him.

That doria looks amazing and I'd love to try it. And this is coming from someone who hates shrimp.

That chat at the end really shows that disgust is arbitrary. Marcille was grossed out at the idea of eating bug larvae or horse brain but then said she's eaten fish testicles.

back

[solkatt-arts]

We got more from what I'm calling the Intertwine-verse!

Quick facts about this verse of G4(/G5) that is unlike the canon:

- Alicorns cannot be made in this universe, therefore Celestial, Luna, Cadence, Twilight, Flurry and Luster never become full alicorns. However, by being crowned a royal by Sterling and Gold (alicorn's blessing), the pony in question will gain potent magic that amongst other things gives the pony a longer lifespan (up to 300 years extra). The magic is likely to manifest like how Sunny Starscout’s alicorn powers do.

- The lifespans of royals goes back to normal once the magic is taken away between G4 and G5. When the magic returns later on only Sunny gain the alicorn's blessing since she is the one to bring Luster's crystals back together. She is likely to be the last pony to gain the alicorn's blessing for a long time.

—————

Here's some Intertwineverse history

Gold Lily and Sterling were alicorns born long before Equestria’s beginnings. Similar in age but never acquainted in childhood, both were chosen to save the pony tribes from freezing to death.

Gold Lily chosen for her calm empathic and kind nature. She knew the unease of new unknowns, about being forced to face the dread but come out on top. The young alicorn had a way of easing the anxiety of change for others. How to welcome progress in a way that could only compared to the hope of a new dawn.

Sterling chosen for her reassuring but stern nature. She always put emphasis on the inevitability of a setting sun, nothing could ever last forever. That did not mean the past was no longer epochal in how it teaches us our most valuable lessons. Sterling had a way with closure and letting the past go that could only compare to the sun’s last light fading behind the horizon.

The two young alicorn first met only days before their departure to what would later become Equestria. Without yet knowing each other, they both knew their destinies were intertwined. They both felt it the moment their eyes met.

Gold and Sterling earned their god-like powers after restoring balance to the world by defeating Discord with the Elements of Harmony early in Equestria’s history. The god of chaos had made a rift so prominent that the two princesses had to learn how to manually raise the moon and sun. No longer could the day nor night make it through its natural cycle without them moving the celestial bodies.

After about 700 years of royal duties, Gold and Sterling began looking for apprentices. Someponies to take over the hardships of ruling Equestria, all this in hopes that the two of them could focus on finding a way to restore or undo what Discord’s magic had caused. Two young and promising unicorns named Celestia and Luna are chosen to train under the princesses until they are ready to take on the princesses' roles.

The unicorn sisters rule over Equestria for almost 300 years before taking on their own apprentices, Sunset Shimmer and Twilight Sparkle. Sunset Shimmer mysteriously disappears and leaves Twilight to train under Celestial and Luna on her own.

A jealous Opaline Arcana has watched Gold Lily and Sterling be the most powerful beings in Equestria for almost a thousand years. She decides she is more worthy of all that power and goes to take it all for herself. On the day Twilight Sparkle is about to meet her future friends Opaline makes her way to Ponyville where not only Celestia and Luna are, but Gold Lily and Sterling too.

With the help from the Elements of Harmony, Twilight and her friends defeat Opaline and banish her to the sun. Before being blasted away Opaline swears revenge on Twilight and her friends.

Gold Lily and Sterling leaves Equestria to search for the cure to Discord's chaos magic once again, feeling that Equestria will be safe in Twilight and her friends' hooves.

Twilight rules for a little more than 300 years before passing the throne onto Luster Dawn. (Cadence passes the throne onto Flurry Heart)

Gold Lily and Sterling manages to find an ancient draconequus artifact that restores balance to nature to the point that ponies no longer need to change the seasons, weather or day to night. Unfortunately they have to pay their immortality for the artifact. They retire to live out their last days back in their homeland.

When Opaline returns a thousand years after her banishment, she finds out that not only is Twilight long dead, but magic has disappeared too. Luster Dawn had had a moment of weakness not long before passing away in which she feared that once Opaline returns, she’ll have no one to stop her from taking everyone’s magic (and taking over Equestria). So if no one has any magic, there’s none to take. Luster separates the magic into one crystal for each of the three pony tribes. She orders her apprentices (one from each tribe) to hide the crystals away where they won’t be connected nor found.

Generations of misinformation and mistrust later, Sunny Starscout brings magic back together with her friends and Opaline is free to finally collect it. She is later defeated by Sunny and her friends.

[wulfums]

i dont just think abt Klaus like that its just like. the whole show

like. sometimes i think abt how Francine probably isnt gonna do well once all her kids have moved out of the house. She enjoys people being around. Even though none of them have moved far, its still hard for her to cope with. TBH even Stan is having trouble with it. He thought it'd be great- him and his hot wife have the house all to themselves now (well. Roger and Rogu are there too. But they're not people.) but he finds himself finding the dinner table very empty with just them </3 I think they kind of fall into a depression. Until everyone pitches in to get them a long cruise vacation so they can redisover who they are, what they want, etc. and it helps a lot.

you ever wonder if the bits of alien dna still left in jeff have rendered him functionally immortal. how fucked up would that be. i feel like itd be something he discovers but keeps to himself. his first priority always is hayley (and their kids once they have them). to be fair, he has no idea if this applies to their kids too ??? like it might. But it absolutely does not for Hayley who will have a Normal Lifespan. but he copes with it, surprisingly, with advice from roger. he said "well, it sucks to outlive the ones you love, but at least you can make sure hayley ages with dignity. she'll never have to go to a nursing home. she'll never be alone. :so its kinda cool if you think about it. also, you can make sure she leaves all her cool shit to you in her will." and that actually helps jeff a lot.

I hc that the CIA mind swap experiments cause much, much longer lifespans than normal. This actually makes Rick and Klaus so happy bcuz theyll get to spend so much time together. Since they're not immortal immortal like anyone w alien dna, things liek accidents can kill them. So theyre like "oh we got the BEST kind of immortality- we get to live as long as we want and then decide when we want out." So not everyones sad.

Steve and his freinds are never officially in a polycule but like.......they basically are. Steve and Snot are an official couple, but they cannot see their lives without toshi and barry too. they also co-parent like cats do. the kids in the house (which is Huge. toshi got it as a graduation gift. hideki may fuck people over for a living but he makes money.) are Steve and Snot's adopted kid, and then Barrys kid (Its technically his younger sibling. Absolute surprise pregnancy that his parents were not prepared for and didnt' really like...want. So hes like hey, I always wanted to be a dad. Guess im a dad now and this is my kid. Cool.). The kids genuinely just grow up thinking all four of the guys are with each other and just refer to them all as dads.

Snot is the one who being a dad means the most to I think. He vows to be the best dad ever. So good of a dad it makes up for his dead dad. Steve loves the determination and vows the same. Which leads to the other two as well. These kids quite possibly have the best 4 dads possible.

So its like. some angst bur also a lot of joy.

[nervosims]

my gameplay rules

I constantly allude to the existence of gameplay rules, but I've never outright made a dedicated post about them... so here it is! I'll make a dedicated video for this at some point, but enjoy this lovely wall of text <3.

link to the dedicated video: here!

general gameplay style

I'm quite fast and loose with my gameplay. I'm primarily wants-based, but sometimes I want sims to do certain things so I'll just make it happen. If a sims doesn't roll a want to do certain things, however, then I won't make them do it (i.e going to college). If they roll the want to skip work, sometimes I'll let them do it 'cause it brings chaos.

So, basically, if anything sounds fun, I'll probably do it. I find it hard to stick to rules that are too strict, so most of mine are general rules of thumb. If I ever find myself getting bored, I rarely ever blame the game. The game is pretty kooky, so if nothing crazy is happening, it means I'm simply not allowing anything to happen.

I play with 7 day rounds! Using this mod that makes seasons 7 days long, I just play the whole week. Plus, any holidays I may want my sims to celebrate will be on the Sunday!

🧓 aging and death

Marticore has a great video on Sims 2's aging system, so I pretty much abide by that. Aging sims up when they receive that one day until their birthday notification. I use the Nice Lifespan mod, which adds a bunch of days and makes things make a bit more sense. I also edited the mod to age them up at midnight (because 6pm aging makes no sense).

Because my lifespan is so much longer, I recently started playing with slower skilling all-around. Using the 6-hr version of this mod.

Also, a higher a witch/warlock's alignment is, the longer they live (with the help of BO's slow aging controller). That's why Olive is still very much alive in my game, she's max alignment so she ages once a week.

When a sim is nearing death, I keep in mind inheritance. I use SimNopke's Inventory Inheritance to give away any stray items to their next of kin. If the sims owns a house, then the ownership goes to the child with the highest relationship. If the sims doesn't have any kids, then it goes to their spouse. If they aren't married, it goes to a very close friend. If they don't meet any of those requirements (bro how?!), then I sell the house and give the money to the orphanage.

I also really like playing with trans sims! I'm nonbinary myself so I need to project, obviously <3. So I roll a 5% chance of transing their gender... as a little treat. I'm still in the process of figuring out this mod, that'll let me have the memory of transitioning.

Death is also final in my game (with some extreme caveats). So, sims can't get resurrected unless the sim resurrecting is lvl 10 paranormal, and max witch alignment. And, anyone who's besties with tha sim gets to resurrect a sim of their choice. It's sort of a punishment for letting a sim die.

🌠 aspiration and personality

Sophie the Puffin has an absolutely killer aspiration calculator. I calculate everyone's secondary aspiration, and usually set them. Though, this can change depending on how I'm feeling. If I feel like it doesn't suit them, then I simply just won't set it.

I use the aspiration calculator to age up sims from child to teen as well! Using this interest age mod, it allow child sims to have more varied interests. I kinda stick to their secondary aspirations, because I can't be bothered to change it.

💼 career, education, and finances

I tried using Edukashun is Gud and… it just doesn’t make sense that I can’t be a Lvl 10 Criminal because I don’t have a degree. Like, that’s so silly. So I use Doctors Need Degrees that’s way more detailed. 

Unless a sim wants to go to college, I won’t make them go. They need to roll the want on their birthday (or the day before). Once they do roll that want, I note down the day they moved out and play the family as normal. I play a whole round before I move the sims back in, to simulate time passing while they were in college. College is free, because you should never pay for education, but accommodation isn’t so sims will probably need to take out loans (4% interest rate)  to pay for bills and the like. If my sims don’t want to pass the year, they won’t (but if they roll a fear of failure, they can pass). I just play it by ear.

Of course, semester changes is used… I’m not a lunatic.

No 20k handouts is an absolute godsend, so that’s an absolute must for me. Usually, graduates move out into apartments, but with the Tenancy and Landlord mod by Monique, I can have them rent out a house. This is what I’ve currently been doing with my La Fiesta Tech grads.

Child support is also a thing! It’s super handy, and also adds some challenge to managing finances.

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 family

Romance sims have a 35% of giving their child up for adoption (or giving their child to their partner). They don’t wanna get bogged down with responsibilities! Similarly, they can’t try for baby (unless secondary family). Unless they roll a fear for having a baby, I won’t put them on birth control. And I’ll only take them off of birth control when they roll a want to have a child. If they roll this fear while pregnant, I terminate the pregnancy (1st trimester only).

I also nabbed this rule from a reddit thread:

Though, I’ll still give the child away, family sim or not. I think it’s pretty realistic to feel in over your head with something as major as a child.

Getting your child taken away is also harder in my game, because I play with kids and pets unattended. You actively need to be evil for your kid to be taken away.

Aliens can impregnate/be impregnated regardless of the situation. They’re aliens! Don’t think about it!

I don’t have a hard and fast rule for number of children permitted (how dystopian), but I have a general rule of thumb. A romance/pleasure sim won’t want to have 3 kids probably, so 1 or 2 is alright.

No super fertility because I love my life! And I play with a quads mod, so I truly do not need it.

And if a gay/infertile couple want a genetic child, they need to either be lvl 10 of the science career (or be best friends with someone who is).

💞 romance

ACR my beloved &lt;3. And romantic standards! I find ACR makes everyone horny freaks, so having romantic standards adds some challenge. Plus, it makes it much harder to just force a relationship. I don’t play with teen/adult romance — nor do I play with teen pregnancy. There’s no rush to have kids! They have the rest of their lives.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Anyway hopefully this adds some context to what I’m thinking of when I play the game. Maybe you’ll adopt some of these rules too? Maybe I’ll add some more? I’ll be sure to update when I do!

[stars-obsession-pit]

ML x DC prompt:

Ignore all potential timeline issues, i don’t have any idea either

Some time in his thirties, Adrien realizes that he’s no longer really aging. An effect of being a sentimonster, he assumes.

But Marinette is just human. Her aging continues unabated.

This doesn’t change their feelings for each other. They still stay together, even as their apparent age gap grows larger.

Then she dies.

And Adrien? He goes a little bit mad. He doesn’t want to live in a world without her in it. So he’s going to bring her back.

But it turns out, even the Wish with the Miraculous can’t actually bring back anyone that’s fully dead from a non-Miraculous cause (this is slightly AU for the sake of the plot). Which means he has to turn to alternative methods.

Eventually, this search brings him to the League of Assassins.

Normally, he would never work with a group like them. They’re an evil, murderous cult, and he still wants to be a good person. But they have something he needs.

The Lazarus Pits. A way to bring Marinette back, and to extend to lifespan to match his.

But he doubts that he’s strong enough to take control of from the League by force (well, not upfront at least). So he agrees to work for them (at least for the time being) in exchange for being granted access.

The costs will all be worth it when he has her back.

[ashcoveredtraveler]

Headcanon Dumping 3

It has been a while since I have done this, but I can't think of any cohesive post, I am working on a few things that can't be published yet, though I would like to post something so here we go. Link to the first two: [one], [two]

The lands around Hallownest and lands further away from any kingdom is chaotic. Time flows differently in some sections of land, causing bugs to live through generations within days of said land. Some sections of land are volcanic and radioactive while other lands are unlivable. (I am making a post about the lands outside of Hallownest and will expand further)

You must have a permit to create charms and can't create 'illegal charms'. What makes the charm illegal is if it greatly harms the wearer, is used for crimes, or has been created by unnatural means. The charms that would be illegal in the Knight's collection would be Gathering Swarm(could easily be used for pickpocketing), Fragile Greed(considered money laundering), and any of the Lifeblood charms(would be considered as continuous drug use/illegal drug use).

Dryya wears makeup. I mentioned it in my Great Knights Background post, but Dryya chitin is translucent so you can see pretty much every organ if you put her in front of a light. Though her armor covers her entire body, she still wears pigments on her face.

Xero has heeled boots. He is definitely taller than the average citizen, but he personally likes the heels. I like this too because I wrote something with him in it and I described his steps having a click with it.

Thistlewind doesn't have any eyelids. I mentioned it in this post, but I think that some moths don't have eyelids. It's a recessive trait as it isn't too helpful as many things could irritate it but it is helpful to traverse the dream realm as they can't fully sleep.

Genetically the mantis tribe consists of two types of mantises(unsure which ones to draw inspiration in real life from), however mantises outside of the tribe including orchid mantises can enter the tribe.

Centipedes used to exist in Hallownest and was the combination of a garpede and a stag, however since they are unpredictable they have been driven out and live in the Wastelands.

Monomon and Ze'mer are the only non-bug or non-plant creature that lives in Hallownest.

Speaking of Ze'mer, she is the only one of the Great Knights that is "old" before she was knighted. I recently made a post stating that she might have been saved from the effects of aging for a few moments but time went by in an instant.

Werecreatures exist and take a form closest to the bug while also being almost unrecognizable to the bug. An idea I had was the moths would have a form like an Owlbear.

Monomon is the only "normal" being that is immortal/extended life without any magic. It's just in her biology man.

For carnivores living in Hallownest, there are hunting parties that go to Deepnest or the Wastelands to get the food they need. Many hunt and sell the meat for ones you can't hunt.

Revek is older than Markoth and Xero and held both of them soon after they were born, but he is younger than the Seer.

Spiders and arachnids could have the longest lifespan of most bugs, but their typical lifestyle prevents it. So in my headcanon that would be Hegemol and Revek.

[flightfoot]

Not sure if you've been asked this before, but can you recommend some good Kwami swap fics?

Sure! I dunno whether you just mean Adrien and Marinette sapping kwamis, so I'll list anyone using kwamis that are different from their normal canon ones.

---

Auspicious by The_Rabbit42

Entry #6 for AU April 2023: Reverse-Crush Kwami-Swap Adrien is quiet and reserved whenever he’s not consumed by stress. And between extracurriculars and modeling and his responsibilities as Mister Bug, he’s often stressed. He appreciates his kitten, but he loves his bright and outgoing classmate. Not that she knows that. Marinette’s parents have always allowed her a good deal of independence, but she’s felt her confidence skyrocket since getting Plagg. Simply being Lady Noire allows her to be more flirty and free. She likes her friends, but she loves her stoic and heroic partner. Not that he knows that.

This is just a lovely fic that’s exactly what it says on the tin. I like how Rabbit goes into what Lady Noire’s and Mister Bug’s dynamic is like here especially.

---

Thanks, But No by @pauliestorylover

For every miraculous that Fu cupped in his palms, an image of the same blue-eyed girl flashed through his mind. Marinette Dupain-Cheng was born to hold the miraculous—she resonated with every single one of them far better than even the late Celestial Guardian, and it was Fu’s duty as the last Guardian not to allow such talent to slip through his hands.

Too bad Marinette wasn’t on the same page.

Or; au where Master Fu keeps throwing miraculous at Marinette hoping one will stick, Marinette goes around handing out miraculous like candy, and Wayzz has never seen anything so ridiculous in his millennia-long lifespan.

This one’s fun. Everyone except for Adrien ends up with a different Miraculous than in canon, and it’s really interesting to see how they all adapt. Marinette’s thorough noping out is pretty funny too, and there’s some sweet bits of Adrino and Alyanette in here!

---

Crepes and Petals by @fruitdragon1a

Alya and Marinette have been friends ever since that fateful first day in collège. Scarabella and Lady Noire have been friends ever since they started fighting crime together at the age of fourteen. Alya and Lady Noire? Their friendship is newer-- and Alya wishes it were more.

---

instant familiarity by @fragileizy

“We must’ve told each other everything,” Adrien whispers. “I couldn’t imagine being able to take photos with you like this and not fall in love with you.” Marinette’s face goes red again. “You know? In some really weird way, I’m really glad that the two of us lost our memories together. It’s not so bad falling in love with someone you care about for a second time.”

---

theory bored by @14muffinz

You’re not supposed to theorise about who your partner is, Tikki had scolded, glaring at Luka as he continued to map out his entire theory, abbreviating as many miraculous-related names as he could feasibly remember. To be fair, it’s a lot, so it’s not like this would be much if anyone were to get their hands on it. He’d sighed, capped his marker, and turned around as though he was going to clean up the board. And then, because Tikki unfortunately taught him just how stubborn he could get if he really wanted to, he calls for his transformation while facing the other way. [OR: Ladybug Luka, Black Cat Juleka, and a reveal.]

---

The Unluckiest Cat In Paris by @aidanchaser

Mister Bug has always been a hero, and his partner Lady Noire has always stood by his side--until he has to face a future where he betrayed Paris and his partner is trying to kill him. Kwami Swap AU - Chatte Blanche

---

Down on Her Luck by Proper_Prose

Exhausted from her most recent Akuma (which she most definitely did not cause), Chloe has a heart to heart moment with her kwami. Hopefully it goes better than the other times.

---

The Cat’s Out of the Purse by The_Rabbit42

Adrien just took the ring off to be safe. Plagg just got bored and wanted to annoy Tikki. Rose just opened her purse and SURPRISE! Ladybug just wants to get the ring back to her partner.

This was a fun fic, never seen Rose and Plagg interact like this before! It’s a treat getting more Rose and Plagg focus in general of course, but I really like their relationship here. Plagg’s really good with his wielders in general, and I love how he emphasizes that while he needs to get back to Chat Noir, while Rose is transformed with him, she’s as much her own wielder as he is. It reminds me of how he acted with Zoe, Plagg’s just a treasure XD

---

as luck would have it by @silver-hibiscus

It’s Adrien’s birthday, and there’s an akuma attack. Luckily, Ladybug and Chat Noir are there to save the day! Even if they’re not the heroes that we’re familiar with… Not so much a kwami swap as an another au entirely.

Same title as one of my own fics, funnily enough! Though entirely different premise. This is a Gabenath fic, with Gabriel as Chat Noir and Nathalie as Ladybug, complete with a lovesquare and some unspecified other person as Hawk Moth. In this version, Gabriel and Emilie had some terrible fights and were separated, with Gabriel realizing along the way that he’d been a distant father and working to rectify that, he’s a pretty decent person here. I could actually kind of see this being a feasible path Gabriel could have gone down, if he wasn’t so desperate to revive Emilie and hadn’t gone so far to try to distance himself from who he was and where he came from back before he met Emilie and started changing to fit in with the upper class.

---

Fortississimo by @azuriteartist

Juleka and Luka are the Ladybug and Black Cat holders, but a fearful akuma requires them to ask for help from a new source.

---

Scarlet Fever by @chronicallylatetotheparty

Papillon Écarlate has managed the impossible. He's akumatized Marinette. Now with an army of supervillains and no Ladybug to stop him victory seems inevitable. Unless Adrien can stop him. But will he be enough when his own mentor doubts him?

[shadow-the-wolfhog]

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA DOGS AU ORIGINS AND EXPLANATIONS + DRAWINGS!

So! We still have Baron Draxum and his warrior scientist thing going on, but he’s gone a bit of a different route! He’s decided to try mixing different species to try and create the ultimate weapon, and he has decided to start with wolves, turtles, and the champion of the Battle Nexus (still Lou Jitsu)!

Since wolves have their size, a reasonable amount of trainability, and enhances senses, he thought they would be the best choice for the base species. It also helped that wolves were pack animals and worked best as a team while also being able to be self-sufficient should the need arise. He had sent Huggin and Munnin off to the surface to get him a litter of wolf pups, and they end up finding these little guys!

They all were left in their mother’s den, as she had unfortunately been hunted and forced to leave the four pups on their lonesome at only a few days old. Draxum deemed them perfect and set to work collecting his turtles!

He decided different species would add a variety of skills among the subjects that would make them perfect for war. He had chosen which pup would be crossed with which turtle over the course of a week, as he had to get a sense for who would be the most compatible. Of course, we continue along the canon line and Lou Jitsu is acquired and brought to Draxum’s lab. He practically fell in love with the pups and turtles alike, affectionately calling them nicknames.

The night comes where Draxum has readied his mutagen and, after a row of small tests on the animals to make sure they would be alright through the process, he began the mutation. The combination of wolf, turtle, and human could begin to give him the perfect beginning to his army!

As we all know, it doesn’t all go according to plan; the mutation chambers break and Draxum’s lab begins to fall apart! Lou Jitsu goes to save all of the little animals and bring them back to the surface to give them a home when he realizes there are only four animals instead of eight! The turtles and wolf pups have fused together to make a wolf-turtle mutant with the mix of human DNA, leaving the poor things unable to lead a normal life with their fellow canines.

Lou Jitsu scoops them up and runs back to where he knows the surface is safe whilst battling against the clock of his own mutation into a rat. He takes cover in the sewers of New York City, finding them a relatively clean area to call home for however long they must. The pups start to wake up and climb all over the now rat-turned Lou, who struggles with setting them down in time to make sure they don’t hurt themselves.

Years go on, and the pups aren’t growing at the natural rate regular wolves would. Lou only knows this from his memories of his own childhood dogs who would be twice their size by the time they were a year old! These pups were still small, only having grown an inch or so when they should be fully grown at 3 years old, and they still acted like puppies playing around with their siblings. Only then does it strike him that his own DNA that had mixed with them must have slowed down their aging cycle, leading them to have more of a human lifespan than that of a regular canine’s. His own DNA isn’t the only thing that has caused changes; the turtle DNA has caused a change in their physiology. Their backs and stomachs are harder with courser fur compared to the softness when they were still regular wolf pups. This led to less physical stomach and back injuries for everyone due to this resistance!

He also takes note of how the four interact vocally. Michelangelo and Leonardo both lean to higher pitched chirp-like yips and barks, while Donatello and Raphael lean more to chestier huffs and grunts. It only made sense that the order of birth had gone Raphael, Donatello, Leonardo, then Michelangelo when their mother had them in the wild. To differentiate the four (and to make them easier to grab when they inevitably got into something), Lou had found some cloth of four varying colors and tied them into small bandanas for the brothers.

As they grew up, the boys started learning how to speak from listening to Lou talk to himself and from the old movies he watched. The rat was very surprised when he heard a yelp, then saw little Leonardo hobble over to him with his paw held in the air. “Spl…Splinter!” He had cried, holding up the hurting paw. Ever since then, the boys all started to call the rat “Splinter”, even though Leo had only said it because he had gotten hurt by one (Splinter wasn’t going to look too deep into that).

When it came to milestones, the order goes as follows: Leo learned how to talk first, Raph learned how to walk on his hind legs first, Donnie learned how to read first, and Mikey was the first one to open his eyes and his ears. Splinter has many photos of them all growing up that he never hesitates to break out during birthdays, holidays, the first time April came over, everything!

Some more fun facts about how this changes the boys in little ways:

Leo is hard of hearing. Red Eared Sliders, and turtles in general, are known for having horrible hearing but great eyesight. That was a trait that passed to Leo. He doesn’t mind it, but when they are teens and after the invasion (hehe ASL au), Donnie makes him hearing aids to help him.

All of the boys are allergic to chocolate! Much like regular dogs, chocolate can be lethal for them if eaten in large quantities, and can make them sick if eaten just a little bit.

The boys LOVE fruit. It’s a mix of their turtle and canine sides, and they love it as a little treat. Leo and Mikey love peanut butter as well, but they have it extremely rarely due to Raph’s allergy and Donnie never buys any since he doesn’t like it.

I hope you guys find this informative and like it!!! There were some things that had been knocking around in my brain that I wanted to get out, so here it is!! Feel free to hop into my ask box if you have any more questions about this!

This post is subject to additions and editing as well! I’m still coming up with a lot of stuff for this and I’m so excited to tell y’all about it!!

[skeleton-in-a-hoodie]

The turtle fam has no idea that Splinter is a ghost (yet), which leads me to believe that their theories for WHY he’s obviously acting up include: “Is Splinter somehow mutating? And if so, could his changing DNA involve rapid healing and a blood change?”, “His mutation is becoming unstable due to old age.” (He’s in his 40’s he’s not THAT old 😭) (BUT maybe they think he also ages diff bc rats have a small lifespan) and “Clearly an ancient Japanese curse.” (Because curses are now proven to exist and are canon to TMNT)

By this point, I think Donnie definitely thinks that there's something up with Splinter's mutation. He doesn't know what, but he's got his theories and is scrambling to come up with possible tests he can run to find out what's causing Splinter's mutation to start acting up, and hopefully find a way to stop it.

Like is a spontaneous secondary mutation a thing that can happen? Did Splinter get exposed to some chemical in the bottom of that chasm that's made the mutagen in his system go "lol, no" and start using his organs like a stress ball?

“His mutation is becoming unstable due to old age" sounds like something Mikey or Casey would say. Can see Leo saying Splinter isn't that old, meanwhile Donnie is writing down to check how old Splinter is physically. Like maybe if it's just an age thing Donnie can make some medication for Splinter and then their dad will stop trying to stab people and his blood won't look like black sludge anymore.

Before chapter 8 April was team brain tumour/ brain damage from falling 1000 feet, now I think she's not so sure and out of all of them might lean the most towards it being a curse. Like she's seen his aura, she wouldn't put it past Shredder to curse Splinter when every other plan Saki's had hasn't worked, and as far as April knows Splinter only started bleeding black goo after Apolex stabbed him.

Some of them think something happened at the bottom of the chasm that Splinter's not told them about, and that's somehow the cause of everything. At least one of them, but I've not figured out who yet, thinks Splinter survived the fall by doing the healing hands, but he somehow messed it up really badly and it's causing problems with his mutation/ making some supernatural changes to his body.

Leo meanwhile is trying to argue that Splinter is just stressed and this is probably completely normal. Like once they defeat Shredder, Sensei will go back to normal!

(As a side note: the idea that all Splinter's weird behaviour is due to him mutating again makes me really tempted to make an au where Splinter does go through a secondary mutation. Like Splinter can have a horrifying secondary mutation that his family has to scramble to cure. As a treat.)

[lailyn]

Fulfilling a request, this is for you @acasualcrossfade

Written On Your Face

Summary: It is Christine Palmer's wedding day, a day that calls for a brave front and impeccable self-control. Unfortunately, Loki's gut-brain axis has other ideas.

The dreaded day finally came. 

They steered clear of each other's way as they readied themselves in silence; Stephen's mood was so foul that morning that Loki could not even bring himself to compliment his boyfriend on how smart he looked in his black suit, with his hair slicked back and the Cloak of Levitation masquerading as a pocket square.

Loki was very good at reading facial expressions and Stephen was doing a piss-poor job of concealing his feelings.

Had he committed a grave mistake, by agreeing to come to Christine Palmer's wedding as Stephen's plus one?

He had never been one to begrudge a lover's past flames; a mortal man's lifespan was short enough as it was without spending it all with just one person.

But given the choice, who would Stephen choose? 

Would you choose me? Loki asked Stephen's silhouette as he followed his silent footsteps up the church steps. Or would you choose sweet, gentle Christine? 

Overthinking was a habit Loki had never been able to break despite centuries of trying. So it came as no surprise, to be betrayed by his own body in the most heinous way. 

As he feared, the knots in his stomach soon turned into an actual ache, and it took all his willpower not to groan out loud. There was nothing he loved more than attention, and under normal circumstances, he would have found it irresistible not to cause a scene at his boyfriend's ex's wedding. 

And from the looks of it, the ceremony was a long way from over, the pastor's homily droning dimmering in his ear.

Loki hunched around the pain, all the while pretending to look at his shoes. It earned him a cursory glance from Stephen, but thankfully nothing more. 

Out of all his lovers, none was as forbearing or as tolerant of Loki’s inborn inclination for activity as Stephen. Sitting still had never been Loki’s forte, and his fidgetiness could easily be construed as a sign of boredom.   

Out of the blue, a gentle voice intruded the privacy of his mind, You carry tension in your stomach, my love.

 

Frigga sounded just as plaintive dead as she did alive. 

“No shit, Mother,” he mumbled.

“Did you say something?” 

"Nothing," Loki sighed. He took a few deep breaths, but the age-old method of mindful breathing was doing nothing to ease the pain centred around his gut.

This is bad, he thought. This is really, really bad.

He could feel perspiration sticking his shirt to his back and beading on his  forehead, but casting a glamour was out of the question. 

Not for the first time since they had become a couple, he cursed the fact that Stephen was a sorcerer, and a passable one at that. 

No, not just a sorcerer, but a freaking doctor too! So not only would putting up a glamour give Loki away, not putting up one would undoubtedly arouse suspicion. Loki could only imagine how dreadful he looked.

Either way, he was fucked.

"Boy, you sure know how to pick them," Loki muttered to himself. 

"Loki," he heard Stephen hiss, "What on earth is the matter?"

Loki exhaled noisily through his nose. "I hate weddings."

A few seconds later, "You didn't have to come," came Stephen's frosty response to Loki's half-truth. 

"You're right," Loki said tightly. "I didn't."

_________

Stephen was clearly upset with him. He barely said a word to Loki since they left the church, and the way he introduced Loki to the other guests at table during the reception left something to be desired. 

"This is Loki," Stephen had announced in a very neutral voice. "My partner."

That could mean a number of things, Loki thought morosely. A business partner. A study partner. An escort.

The toasts and the speeches passed in an agonisingly slow blur. As if having to sit through the awkward small talk was not a bad enough ordeal, the food turned out to be inedible, on account of the raging pit of acid that was Loki's stomach. 

The tables began to empty as people rose to mingle and just when Loki thought he could finally suffer in peace, Stephen tapped him on the shoulder. 

"I'm going to the bar. Do you want to come?"

Loki shook his head, but regretted his decision moments later when he saw Christine rise from the main table and head in the same direction as Stephen.

His chest seized and suddenly there was no air in the room. 

He needed to get out of there, he was going to suffocate -

Loki stood up clumsily but it was yet another mistake in a day full of mistakes. Stars speckled his vision and he wobbled.

"Whoa, whoa," the person he bumped into caught his elbow. It was Stephen's old nemesis, a man by the name of Dr Nick West. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Loki meant to say, but he could hold his pained cry no longer; it was loud enough to alert the neighbouring tables. Chairs were pushed back, and one after another, the doctors came to his aid.

Loki found himself bombarded with a barrage of questions, each more pointless than the one before.

'Whereabouts is the pain?'

'On the scale of one to ten, how bad is it?'

'Are you non binary? Trans-male? When was your last menstrual period?'

Loki squeezed his eyes shut, but it only served to heighten the noise instead of muffling it. 

'He's passing out…this is acute abdomen, I'm sure…'

'Has someone called an ambulance?'

'Let's lay him down on the floor.'

Don't touch me, Loki thought dimly.

"Let me through, let me through," he heard Stephen's voice rise above the clamour. "He's with me."

"Loki, what is it?" A hand grasped his knee. "What's wrong?"

Loki forced his eyes open. To his shame, they instantly prickled with tears of pain.

"My stomach," he whimpered. "It really hurts."

"Did you eat something bad?" Stephen frantically scanned Loki's plate. "I did make sure there was nothing you're allergic to, but there could have been some contamination - "

"No," Loki gasped. Without thinking, "It's been hurting since the church." 

Stephen's face changed colour from his normal tan to a ghastly pallor, to a dark, furious red. "What?"

As if sensing the impending outroar, the bride herself pushed through the growing crowd and shielded Loki from Stephen's wrath.

"Loki," she called gently. "It's okay, you can tell us. We're all trying to help."

Loki stared at her crouching before him, a perfect vision in her perfect wedding dress, wearing such deep concern on her sweet face.

"I need to leave here," Loki choked out. 

She nodded, not fazed in the slightest. "Of course. Let me take you to the hospital."

"No," Loki almost shouted in his panic. "Rest. Some rest is all I need." 

The collective sound of disagreement from the gaggle of medical professionals, most of them surgeons, Loki found to be almost comical. If they only knew the real reason behind his illness, they would be more inclined to leave him alone. 

"It's really nothing to worry about," he said weakly. "It's nothing new."

Loki's pasty smile was anything but convincing, but it left Christine with no choice but to oblige him.

"Stephen, why don't you take Loki upstairs and lie down?" Christine turned to look at her brand-new husband. "He can use our suite. Charlie?"

"Of course," the groom said without hesitation. He dug into his tuxedo jacket pocket to search for something. "I've got the keycard here somewhere."

"I've ruined your reception. Please don't let me ruin your wedding night as well," Loki begged.

"You have done no such thing," Christine said soothingly. "I'm just sorry you're not feeling well."

Her kindness was the last straw. He could not bring himself to hate her. He doubted if he ever did. 

"I wish you all the happiness in the world," he whispered. "I truly do."

Gratitude shone in her eyes. "Thank you, Loki."

"Found it."

"No need." Stephen waved Charlie's offer away, before flashing a keycard of his own. "I've got him."

With one arm around Loki's waist, Stephen hauled his ailing boyfriend to his feet, and together they hobbled out of the ballroom and into the lobby, where someone was already holding the elevator open.

Just as the elevator doors closed, Loki folded. Strong hands caught him on the way down and Stephen's stricken face came into view. "Odinson!"

"I'm fine," he panted, "I'm fine."

"The hell you are," and Stephen gathered Loki up in his arms and scooped him off the floor. 

Loki did not remember being carried down a long corridor and into a room, only that it was blessedly quiet and dark. He did not remember being laid down on the bed, only returning to his senses when he felt ice packs pressed to his abdomen. 

He moaned in sheer relief, but it must have terrified Stephen to the core.

"This isn't normal," Stephen said anxiously, all semblance of calm well and truly lost. "Maybe the hospital wasn't such a bad idea."

"No hospital."

"I've never seen you this sick before."

"You're lucky," Loki slurred. "The Malady of the Maudlin, the Healers used to call it."

Stephen took in Loki's words and before long, the first glimmer of understanding dawned on him. "Shit, Loki."

He climbed into the bed and began to rub Loki's stomach. It took some coaxing, but the cramps began to cower under Stephen's gentle ministrations. 

"Do you really hate weddings?" Stephen asked quietly, despite knowing the answer. Loki was so tense his abdomen was rock-hard. 

"Just this one." 

"You should have told me you were upset." 

"I could say the same of you, Doctor."

After a moment of silence, Stephen asked in a guarded manner, "What do you mean?" 

Loki's silence spoke volumes.

"Christine and I are over, Loki."

"Why, yes. She's married," Loki said acidly. "You missed your chance to speak up at the church."

"Excuse me?"

Ignoring Stephen's rising ire, Loki buried his face deeper into the pillow. "You even got us a room." 

In the same hotel.

"Only because I saw how dreadful you looked," Stephen berated. "Why couldn't you have just said something?"

"When? I was invisible to you the whole day."

Stephen's nose flared. "You are such a fool."

"Clearly I am. I am in love with a man who is in love with somebody else."

"For the last time, Loki, I am not in love with anyone."

The sharp pangs returned, but Loki knew he must make his escape before he became incapacitated once more, or worse, a sobbing mess. 

"That's nice to know." He tried to wriggle out of Stephen's embrace, but Stephen was one step ahead, having tightened his hold around Loki to keep him in place.

"I am not finished," Stephen growled. "I am not in love with anyone…but you."

Tears trailed slowly down Loki's temple, disappearing into the pillow. "I don't believe you."

"Why not?"

"You were filled with such dread about this day that it gave you nightmares, Stephen," Loki said tiredly. "And I'm guessing you only brought me along to stop you from doing something gallant but incredibly stupid."

"Like confessing my love to my ex on her wedding day?"

"Yes, that."

Stephen glared at the back of Loki's head. "You really, really need to stay off Reddit, you know that?"

"I'm not the asshole here."

Stephen finally heaved a sigh. "No, you're not. I am."

Loki froze.

"I'm sorry, Loki."

"For what?"

"For having my head so far up my ass that I didn't see what I was doing to you." 

Stephen buried his face in Loki's hair and mumbled, "And you're wrong, you know."

Loki waited.

"My dreams, they weren't - " he could sense Stephen's hesitation. "They had nothing to do with Christine."

"You don't have to tell me," Loki said. "Not if you don't want to."

"I can't keep this to myself anymore. I feel like I'm going crazy."

Loki momentarily forgot about his stomachache and twisted his head around. The fear in Stephen's eyes was something Loki had never seen the likes of before. 

"What's wrong?" 

Stephen's throat bobbed erratically as he struggled to put the fear into words, and Loki's heart began to pound.

"Stephen, what is it?"

"Have you ever dreamed of seeing yourself falling to your death?"

[dumborangecat]

i take your idea of a villainous Simon and raise you: a simon who caused the horrific end of the human world and the Great Mushroom War, or an equivalent magical disaster, ON PURPOSE. Maybe he decided that humanity was just too much and it was time to wipe the board clean, or this was a Simon just a smidge more vindictive and bitter than usual, but either way he ended humanity on purpose?

Ahhhhh! I love this idea! I spent a while trying to come up with motives or reasons Simon (or canon Simon atleast) would do something like that and the best one i could think of was maybe something to do with Betty, Such as Betty leaving simon (through the time portal, or maybe just running away) causing the Crown’s ‘craziness’ to happen way faster and Simon getting super mad (or sad) about her leaving coupled with his deteriorating mental state causes him to use his ice powers in order to like freeze a massive area around him, like the entire country, or maybe even the entire earth and causing another ice age

Or if it was maybe a more calculated/thought out move, possibly during the mushroom war, before the bomb hit (but close to it) Simon could tell this would only get worse, and the war would destroy not only most of humanity but also have massive ecological effects, and overall just be a horrible thing, and because of this he decides to stop everything ,before it can get any worse, by just freezing everyone.

I think the idea of Simon intentionally (or even accidentally) freezing earths entire population (or most of it atleast) would be super interesting, and the effect it would have on ice king (once he reaches that state) could also be neat to think about. Because by freezing everyone, he’d have doomed himself to pretty much live on earth, alone, for basically all of eternity. He’d have no marceline to take care of, or empress to keep him company (and brainwash him but still) or even princesses to kidnap. He’d be entirely alone. This would obviously affect ice king as a large part of his character and problems is how lonely he is, it’s (part of) why he kidnaps princesses and it’s later ‘solved’ when Finn, Jake, and the gang start actually hanging out with him. But seeing an ice king who can’t even remember what it’s like to not be lonely, who has no memories of having even 1 person or thing to talk to (even if their unwilling) would be interesting. Depending on what the freezing of earth did to the environment he might not even have gunter, or any of his penguins.

A good question with this though is when did he freeze/otherwise doom (but considering his ice powers probably freeze) everyone? Was it just after he got the crown and Betty ‘abandoned’ him, leaving him alone and unable to properly process his feelings? was it later on during the war when all of humanity was fighting eachother? or was it even later then that, once the mushroom bomb had gone off, maybe even once he was travelling with marcy? How would she react to seeing that (if she survives, but she’s a demon she maybe would)? What’s either of them supposed to do now that everyone and everyone thing else is (presumably) dead?

Also does Ooo still somehow emerge after this? If it does how is it different? Obviously Finn won’t be there, and since Dogs may have been wiped out by the freeze Jake might not either, but does the Mother gum still exist? (depending on when the freeze happens) Does maceline survive? would she just die at the end of her mortal lifespan if there’s no vampires (unless they still emerge due to idk plot reasons or something) or would she end up like farmworld marcy, all old and withered? Are there still all of the other princesses? What about Prismo? he seems to be just a normal human when you see his sleeping body, would he be created some other way? or just cease to exist?

How does being alone in the wasteland affect Simon? especially with him knowing it’s his fault, does he feel guilty about what he’s done? Maybe he does feel guilty, but also believes it was for the best, a necessary sacrifice. If he’s a more bitter ‘evil’ Simon that normal does he not care that he’s killed litterally everyone? Maybe he does care, but not because ‘oh no, i just murdered thousands of people’ but instead ‘oh no, i just doomed myself to centuries of isolation’, maybe he’s forced to deal with the fact that (atleast until he becomes ice king snd probably forgets everything) that his current misery and loneliness is entirely his fault. Does all this maybe lead to a staright up evil ice king?

(If such a universe were to appear in fionna and cake) how would Canon Simon react to seeing this more evil but also tormented version of him, how would Simon who’s presumably been alone for centuries with nothing but his own thoughts and festering guilt, react to seeing not just people again, but a version of himself who (in comparison) is living his dream life?

Sorry for rambling, I just loved your idea, it has so much potential for different scenarios/ways to play out and how it affects things and people in the future, namely Simon/ice king.