#cause when I wrong people

[judaismandsuch]

I kinda want to talk about 'asking for forgiveness' around this time of year

This'll be a bit of a ramble, but since it is non-halcha more or less I don't feel bad.

People who post 'I would like to ask forgiveness for anyone I may have hurt'?

Performative Bulshit.

Asking forgiveness is 3 parts, admitting that you did wrong/harm to someone else, attempting in some for to redress it (admittedly that form is an apology, but you can't have everything), and learning/growing from it ('my actions harmed you, that was not intended, I will take better care in the future to not cause harm in similar situations').

An apology to anyone you 'may have hurt' involves no reflection, no admission of wrong doing, and no fucking growth.

You trying to check a box to get to heaven. You are being a formulaic dick.

Now, there are those people who post 'If I have wronged you, let me know so I can apologise for it.'

I am undecided if those are better or worse. On the one hand, it does allow for the actual possibility of growth, it includes the redress, but on the other hand you are outsourcing your self reflection to a person you already harmed!

And who among us is comfortable calling up a friend or a relative and saying 'hey, remember that time we were shooting the shit a few months ago, and you joked about __? Yeah that kinda hurt.' Some people are, good for them, but most aren't.

You need to realise your actions have harmed others, You need to bring it up despite it being unpleasent. Forgiveness is a 2 way street, but an Apology is One-Way.

Anyway rant over, Gmar Tov!

[inkskinned]

he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

[lazylittledragon]

what do you mean youre technically a detransitioner cause of terf bullshit?

it's a v long story but i detransitioned for a couple of years when i was 16/17, for multiple reasons but mostly because i fell into the blaire white/kalvin garrah chamber of "you have to be This way to be trans otherwise you're not real".

i was already Deeply insecure about myself and my 'passing' and i was led to believe that i couldn't want to wear makeup or skirts, and i couldn't choose not to have bottom surgery, and i couldn't do anything but bind for 12+ hours a day to the point that my ribcage is still misshapen. basically i thought that if i wasn't suffering enough doing 'feminine' things, i couldn't really be trans, so i should just go back to being a girl and suck it up.

the terf bullshit is because i'd seen a lot of terfs/detransitioners talking about the 'dangers' of testosterone and how it would turn me into a horrible ugly evil monster and how there was nothing worse than wanting to be a man. which combined with 'you need to fully medically transition to be valid at all' creates some very dangerous and upsetting feelings to cope with.

it also came from trying really hard to put myself in a little box before i realised that my sexuality/gender are very fluid and it's FINE for me not to have a label and just do whatever i want. when i was 19 or so i went back to using they/them (and eventually he/him) and changed my name again because even though i like doing 'feminine' things, i don't want to be seen as a woman.

tldr: i was conditioned by transphobic/terf rhetorics to think that i was being trans the 'wrong' way so i couldn't be trans at all, so i believed i must actually be a girl if i still wanted to do 'feminine' things. nowadays i am a transmasc who does feminine things because i don't give two shits about what any transmed prick thinks of me anymore.

[airoarts]

Leader and deputy

[Image description: a digital painting of Squirrelstar and Ivypool from Warriors. Squirrelstar is a small dark red cat with green eyes, standing in front of the much taller Ivypool, a gray tabby-and-white cat with blue eyes and many battle scars. The background is dark blue. end ID]

[linkedin-offficial]

to forgive or forget

more lore for what ive got going on with carnival hero, for those who wanted to know why he doesnt particularly like kinger.

i like to think kinger was working on the code to remove the collars for a hefty amount of time. poor kinger tried so hard to perfect the code to release his people, but it was particularly hard for obvious reasons. he tried it so many times ; and when it finally worked, it was like a miracle. queenie, along with everyone else was overjoyed!

of course, it wasnt entirely perfect. sometimes, things go wrong when you take your excitement for granted. sacrifices get made, sometimes accidentally. the lovely king ends up forgetting about this sacrifice that was made, like he always does. the reason why shes gone fades in his mind like a bruise.

but others dont forget, nor forgive. hero never forgot this unnecessary sacrifice. he understood everything clearly after that. the collars are there for a reason. sometimes its better to be safe, to stay in ones own lane. to stay confined where you belong, where to remain unchanged is promised. for the greater good.

[deoidesign]

please please please please please please please let me tell you about this comic I want to make it so bad please I can not wait I am losing it

If I don't make the comic then I'm not going to make it... I need other people to see what is in my brain so I'm not the only one going feral over them

[boarcide]

I truly think that one of the biggest tragedies in BEAST in regards to the Akutagawa siblings is that, at the core of it, Ryuunosuke viewed himself as a beast, and showed his love in a way a beast would, while Gin was the only person who ever saw him as human and judged him accordingly. She did not see a beast acting like a beast, the way everybody else did, she saw a human acting like a beast and it’s part of what drove her away.

The ADA saw their rookie detective at his worst, and watched—and continues to watch—him grow from a beast to a human over time. Consumed by hatred and only knowing how to be cruel, and slowly learning how to become human.

Gin saw her brother at his best—the best he could be in their situation—and then watched him grow from a boy to a beast within moments. The scraps of humanity that he had, all disappearing into rage so primal it no longer made him seem human.

[saltyyetbland]

ngl im fucking terrified of how the fandom will act when the asian ccs get added and they are confronted with asian customs such as honorifics, asian cultural norms, and the language itself (ie words that are common in one language that sounds like a slur in another) and i know most of the fandom will be open and welcoming but idk im probably being way too pessimistic as someone who is asian and has seen the bs that people can spew esp regarding things like stereotypes

[throwawayasoiafaccount]

btw what theon went through is what thousands upon thousands upon thousands of slaves still go through in essos. so, do you still feel pity for the slavers that were crucified? do you still pity the slavers killed when daenerys freed the unsullied?

i ask these questions, and yet i know that there are still many people who believe that the violence against the slavers wasn’t justified, or believe that it was simply “too much” or “not fair.” truly… what an insane hill to die on.

maybe these people should spare more empathy for the formerly enslaved instead of wasting time making up excuses (that are not supported by the text) for why the slave masters' deaths were somehow not justified 🫶

[aroaceleovaldez]

HoO is so funny to me when you actually think about the ages of all the characters. Octavian is 18. Percy and Annabeth are 16, almost 17. Reyna is presumably 16. Frank just turned 16, Jason’s about to turn 16. Leo and Piper are like 15. Hazel’s like 14 and a half, and Nico is 13.

The Death Sibs are both the youngest and oldest on the Argo II. Octavian is a college freshman getting into petty drama with a bunch of high schoolers. He gets told to shut up at one point by a random 8th grader. Everyone is scared of the 8th grader. We Sent A 13 Year Old To Superhell and he came back weirder, Just Like Middle School. TLH was just three high school sophomores being sent to do a task and it going Exactly Like You’d Expect. Percy’s the only demigod on the ship who can legally drive (though Reyna gets her drivers license at some point before TOA). What Is Happening.

[aromantic-diaries]

Does anyone else feel mildly irritated when someone says aroace when they just mean aro. Like come on we have been over this. Not all aros are ace.

[blorbocedes]

it's kinda crazy the only person on my f1 Instagram whose stories are full of pro palestine posts is Kelly Piquet

[bmpmp3]

sorry to be a bit of a hater but i do wish youtubers weren't so scared of making their videos just like, "reviews", whys everything gotta be a "video essay" all the time. every day my recommendations are filled with 40 minute videos titled "_____: An Underrated Masterpiece" where the first like five minutes are reading the wikipedia definition of "masterpiece" in a somber voice with dramatic themed text on screen. please just tell me how good or bad you think something is and use the rest of the runtime to explain why. you dont need to put on all these airs

[azuree1733]

What yall know bout my boy Irvine

[dykedvonte]

Ulysses obsession with the Courier is a special type of sad to me cause the Courier’s part was so important but so unwitting. They had no idea what was in the package they delivered and neither did he. Neither had an idea of what it could’ve done and the Courier was only caring out their job (mind you the Courier could be killed via notes in the express contract if they don’t). To them it was just another regular delivery to the divide and one that they likely thought would help, just like all the ones before.

It’s so tragic for Ulysses to hold so much ire to the Courier when it really was the case of it could’ve been anyone. Anyone could have delivered that package but they did and so he focused the blame on them and it destroys what he is trying to instill in the courier on a fundamental level.

[a-star-that-burns-brightly]

(x) Mahiru: I just normally loved someone. I don't think I've done anything wrong. And besides, I... can't live without love.

I hope Mahiru's T2 forgiven vote makes her worse. I hope she becomes the T2 Muu of Trial 3. I want to see her in full "I didn't do anything wrong" mode. I want her to get an It's Not My Fault-adjacent song I support women's wrongs.