#cautious pessimism | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fancifulplaguerat · 1 year

Text

Something I struggle to reconcile with Daniil’s character is his attitude towards violence, because he’s this impassioned doctor claiming he wants to save everyone but at the same time is pretty quick on the draw across all three routes. E.g. in the Bachelor Route, the player can say that Daniil doesn’t want others to die for him; that it’s his job to preserve lives, not waste them; and tells Saburov that Artemy couldn’t be a killer, because why would a *doctor* kill anyone? but then the next conversation he’s expressing delight when Andrey tells him he can kill marauders with impunity. Thinking about it more, though, I don’t think it’s necessarily that dissonant given how Daniil’s character is constructed within this “destroyer” idea, and I think his motivations are pretty consistent as well.

I feel Daniil is the most emotional healer—he’s very wear-it-on-your-sleeve and seemingly easily swayed by emotion, considering how he reacts to Simon’s death/Aglaya’s betrayal. He’s not altogether impulsive, since he’s conscientious and sometimes even refuses to act without ensuring whether he’s right, but he’s clearly partly motivated by emotion. For one, he often to lashes out at people—there are frequent dialogues in his route where he can snap at someone and then say a variant of “Sorry, I lost my temper.” I don’t think Daniil is necessarily an angry person, but reactive and in a situation where he’s constantly under pressure/being prevented from doing what he needs to be done, so obviously he’d often be frustrated and angry. I also don’t think him acting violently is because he wants to take his anger out on others, and rather his sense of justice allows him to justify violence on the grounds of who “deserves” to be punished or to die. For example, in the Haruspex/Changeling Route he only threatens to kill Artemy or use violence against Simon Kain’s murderer because eye-for-an-eye; the killer deserves to be punished, because that’s just. Daniil also expresses anger and disdain towards those who kill others, so it seems to him, killing a murderer is just righting a wrong.

Outside his motivations, I also think Daniil’s tendency towards violence works within his broader characterization as a fighter/destroyer. He’s indirectly characterized as an apt fighter in both the Haurspex/Changeling Routes, and rhetoric of ‘fighting’ is constantly used to describe his research and actions within the town. On Day 1, both Maria and Katerina describe his fate as a battle—Maria says, “a truly terrifying battle is ahead of you [...] You will fight a foe that few can defeat” and Katerina says, “I’m talking about a very particular battle... You are one of the combatants, Bachelor Dankovsky [...] you will have to fight to the death.” I also want to point to this dialogue with an herb bride, which I know is in common, but:

Herb Bride: How are you smart? Smart people are four-eyed nerds... bulgy heads on stunted legs. Cunning, cautious, weak, old even... no, you are not a smart man. You are a warrior.

Player: You can be both.

Herb Bride: Really? I thought you can only have one. Your eyes are throwing needles, and your teeth are clenched fast. You've got the face of a man who can sweep down anything that stands in his way. The face of a destroyer.

Player: Correct. This is the true purpose of smart people [...] I destroy death.

Herb Bride: Oh... So that's why there are always sparks of hatred in your eyes. And that's why your smile is so spiteful.

I’m still debating my opinions on the implications here, but I feel it’s partly related to the game’s pessimism about miracles/utopias. Specifically that in Daniil’s attempt to attain utopia:defeat death, he can only cause more destruction, as in Kaspar’s infamous “You may mean well, but you bring evil and destruction all the same [...] Your heavy hand will crush us all—even if you were only grabbing us in order to pull us out of the abyss.” The sentiment that Daniil is solely a destructive force even when he tries to do good is echoed all over the game, which frankly makes me upset because I’m too attached to this tortured little fellow. Daniil does what he thinks is right just as Artemy and Clara, but he doesn’t even get the privilege of attaining his goal like the others do in their endings. The Bachelor ending is really only a symbolic victory for Daniil; Thanatica is burned down and he hasn’t really gotten any closer to beating death. For all intents and purposes, Daniil loses even in his own ending, and I have all sorts of thoughts about that but. I shall tuck it away for another day

#I have so many thoughts about Daniil and the Kains #pathologic #patho classic #daniil dankovsky #patho.txt

267 notes · View notes

spiderfreedom · 8 months

Text

I find radical feminism interesting and enlightening as a philosophy, like of all the branches of feminism I've read, it's the only that touches on topics that have bothered me for a very long time:

Why are women in the west expected to wear clothes that are more form fitting and show more skin than their male counterparts? Noticeable at almost every level of professionalism - even women who wear suits tend to wear scoop neck blouses to show collarbone and upper chest. Or they wear a skirt suit, which shows the legs.

Why is asking this question contentious? I get serious pushback from other women when I wonder about this, as if I were judging them. (I'm not - I'm curious about this gendered clothing system we live in.)

Why is the subjugation of women so common across the world? Why is it so similar across cultures and epochs?

How did the subjugation of women happen? What are the situations that lead to female subjugation?

How have women won back territory? What are the situations that lead to female liberation? How can we organize to take advantage of these opportunities?

To what extent is the female body the source of female oppression? Are we actually doomed by sexual dimorphism, or is this just pessimism? What is and is not true of the female body?

Are there genuine differences between females and males when it comes to psychology? If so, to what extent are these differences useful, or to be encouraged in women?

Radical feminism, of all the branches of feminism I've read about, is the one that comes closest to answering these questions. Liberal feminism is quite incurious about the origin of female oppression, and lacks a global thrust. Cultural feminism takes too much for granted that what we've been told is "feminine" is real and valuable. Ecofeminism often seems to delve straight into woo. Radical and Marxist feminists are the ones who seem to get the most that feminism is, at its core, a movement about female power and male power.

My problem with radical feminism is that while there's a tremendous amount of reading about feminist theory, there's spotty coverage of other issues. Radical feminism has a cautious relationship with science - understandable, since science has a dirty history of being used to justify the superiority of {$insert group using it here}, but sometimes veering into denialism. Like in Germaine Greer's Female Eunuch, she disputes the now accepted claim that women tend to have more fat than men, and says this was made up by sexist scientists. I've seen radical feminists unsceptically quote that Cordelia Fine book where she talks about 'priming' without even mentioning the replication crisis related to priming or trying to tease apart which studies still hold and which ones don't. This may seem like nitpicking, but living in reality matters. If we base our activism on the basis of a false claim ("there is no sexual dimorphism in fat distribution!") or a weak/contentious claim ("priming is a real thing that explains poorer female performance in certain areas"), then we end up following the wrong path and chasing leads that don't matter.

That being said, nobody else has done a better job, in my opinion, of dealing with the issues that go to the core of female subjugation, and the weak points can still be improved. Moreover, nobody else argues the urgency of female liberation with as much breadth as radical feminists have. Reading Dworkin and Firestone felt like someone had ripped open my diary, found the questions I had, and answered them with electrifying clarity.

#radical feminism #radfem #radblr

103 notes · View notes

serenescribe · 7 months

Note

Hello hello~ I was wondering if you like zombie apocalypse AU’s? If so, Because my request for you is a non Twst zombie apocalypse!

Lilia and Silver become separated and try to find each other with the odds stacked against them- with their respective parties trying to instill the realistic idea that their father/son is likely dead, but when they find a sign of the other, they have hope.

[✐] ficlet frenzy

Four years ago, a mysterious outbreak swept the world by storm. Countless people had, seemingly out of nowhere, become stricken by a strange disease, one that clogged their minds with a vile, ink-like substance that had come to be known as “blot.” A zombie apocalypse, the news reporters called it, the infection rendering people mindless, shambling monsters. It was a topic that was once restricted to the realm of fiction, except now, it was their reality.

Over the course of mere months, the world collapsed in on itself. Countless people died, succumbing to the illness — those who merely passed away were considered lucky, for a sizable number of them wound up reanimated by the blot, groaning as they shambled around with the purposes of finding others to attack.

Silver had been lucky that his father was such a capable man. For the first several months, the two of them had taken refuge in a bunker Silver hadn’t even known they’d had, keeping each other company, their only source of news coming from a crackly radio. It wasn’t until they’d begun running out of food rations that they were forced to leave the safety of their shelter, venturing out into the wild as well-equipped as possible, searching for any supplies and signs of civilization.

They’d stuck together for a year. One year of surviving together, working in tandem, until a horrific ambush at a seemingly abandoned building, zombies suddenly storming the lobby, split them apart.

“My father isn’t dead.”

That is the truth that Silver stubbornly lives by, refusing to relent on this vicious belief no matter how hard any of his fellow survivors try to tell him otherwise. The only person who remotely believes him is Kalim; everyone else looks at him with scepticism when they hear his insistent words. Riddle simply frowns, while Jamil heaves a sigh, and the twins look at him with a mocking pity in their eyes. Even Idia, when he bothers to tear himself away from tending to his younger brother’s haphazard prosthetics, mutters something about hopeless optimism.

But it’s true: Silver’s father cannot be dead. Silver knows this in his heart and soul; his father is too strong, too prepared, too important to die. Even though the last Silver saw of him was him firing off at a swarm of zombies as he yelled at Silver to run, faced down with a seemingly hopeless fate, he knows that his father has to be alive somewhere.

He’s kept his eyes and ears out for any hint of his father’s existence since then, but to no avail. Silver can only sigh as he helps to pack up their supplies as they head off for a location Idia received from his mysterious partner — a man he communicates remotely with through morse code signals, technology utterly jammed in this wretched apocalypse.

Silver hopes that he’ll find something today, any trace at all that his father is alive.

“My son is not dead!”

Lilia snarls those words whenever someone tries to warn him against clinging to hope. The practice of optimism is a dangerous affair during the volatility of a zombie apocalypse, but though Lilia exercises a cautious pessimism with everything else, this is the only thing he refuses to back down on.

He knows Silver is alive. He has to be. Lilia had told him to run when the zombies broke in and began to swarm the two of them — Better him alive than me, he’d thought back then as he turned back to the screeching mob and began to gun them down. The swarm had been burnt to a crisp before he’d finished, courtesy of those who found him, a group that had saved his life in exchange for his services and supplies.

Lilia knows nobody believes him. Fools, the lot of them! Still, none of them can complain considering how versatile of a survivor Lilia is; he knows that those in his group value his skills, especially given his ability to trade morse code messages with another distant group of survivors, trading little bits of information about safe spots and supplies. Azul is hard pressed to give up such precious details, but Lilia can’t give a single shit about profit when the world’s ended and everyone’s dead or worse.

He finishes off the last bits of a message before he joins the others — Azul grumbling about all they have to leave behind, while the youngsters, a group of five, give the money-minded man the stink eye. Vil chats with Rook about where they shall head next, and Malleus dips his head at Lilia as he joins them.

Lilia hopes that he’ll find something today, any trace at all that his son is alive.

Silver sees it when they arrive at the safehouse. He finds it when he’s cleaning up, searching around for any supplies they can store: a tiny little container that makes his heart leap from the familiarity of it, the colours and gilded edges catching his eyes in the dust-covered haze of the apocalypse.

And within it—

(His breathing stutters to a stop, heart catching in his throat as a well of hope springs up within his chest, bursting anew.)

A rotting acorn bracelet is nestled inside.

#my writing tag #tumblr drabbles tag #ficlet frenzy #twst #twisted wonderland #twst fanfiction #twst writing #going to tag spoilers as a precaution for the significance of the bracelet #twst spoilers #twisted wonderland spoilers #twst ch7 #twst silver #lilia vanrouge #this is all over the place but i feel like this is better suited for smt >1k words TT #uhh god i hope this is still coherent though. ive def written better ficlets but also aaaaaaaaaa #do not separate them

68 notes · View notes

maplemouse-warriors · 2 months

Text

At Cinderpaw’s first Gathering, Fireheart introduces her to his friend Onewhisker, from WindClan. The brown tom grins at his friend and calls over a white molly, announcing her as his apprentice Whitepaw. Whitepaw is funny and clever. She defends Brackenpaw from a ShadowClan apprentice’s jabs. Cinderpaw thinks she’s the most wonderful cat in the forest, after Fireheart. Brackenpaw reminds her that Whitepaw is from WIndClan. Cinderpaw realizes that he’s right, and in hushed tones, she and Whitepaw make plans to meet at Fourtrees before the next Gathering. And they do. Cinderpaw gets good at slipping out of camp, unnoticed. Brackenpaw covers for her when he has to, but never asks why, and Cinderpaw is thankful for her littermate and his unwavering loyalty. She thinks of this often during her time in Yellowfang’s den, leg throbbing and mood low. If she wasn’t so good at sneaking out of camp, someone would have stopped her. If Brackenpaw wasn’t so loyal, he wouldn’t keep showing up with stories about his warrior training with her mentor. She doesn’t meet with Whitepaw outside of Gatherings after that. Over the moons, Cinderpaw and Whitepaw drift apart. Cinderpelt and Whitetail keep their memories of their time together as a happy moment in childhood. Cinderpelt wonders if Whitetail thinks of her in the dark of her den, wishing things could be different. But life goes on, and Cinderpelt wishes it less and less, and by the time Leafpaw joins her in the Healer’s Den, she’s made peace with it.

And then the world ends.

The forest is destroyed, ripped apart tree by tree. Cinderpelt and Leafpaw work to keep ThunderClan afloat. She comforts Leafpaw when they can’t do enough, teaching her the lesson that Yellowfang taught her so long ago. The two of them learn and relearn it together as their Clan begins to waste away. When WindClan joins them at Sunningrocks, Whitetail looks tired. Cinderpelt offers her what she can, and Whitetail helps Cinderpelt care for their Clans. She takes all problems in stride and fights tooth and claw against the onslaught of pessimism as surely as Cinderpelt fights against the weakness that sweeps through the shared camp. They grow close once again. If Firestar wasnt’ so busy, he’d notice that they were growing too close. But he is, and he doesn’t. Cinderpelt and Whitetail whisper their love with the roar of the waterfall keeping their secret.

Newly-named Leafpool is young. She has always been dutiful and dedicated to her position, so Cinderpelt knows she is sneaking out of camp at night. Her apprentice doesn’t know how to step quietly or cover up the scent of WindClan on her fur when she slinks back into the den at dawn. Cinderpelt knows, and she understands. She’s much more cautious with her journeys to the WindClan border. She’s careful to clean Whitetail’s scent off of her before she nears ThunderClan and the garlic she’s gathered coverrs up any smell she may have missed. She gives her apprentice as much leeway as she can, giving her herbs to sort when Crowfeather’s smell hangs off of her too strongly, and letting her sleep in when she’s out later than she ought to be. Cinderpelt can see it in Leafpool’s eyes when she decides to leave. She should tell someone about her apprentice’s plan, but selfishly, she doesn’t. She wishes Leafpool all the best. She hopes that her apprentice can find enough happiness for the both of them.

When Cinderpelt is focused on delivering her nephew, her wish suddenly changes. Now she just wishes her apprentice was back. Leafpool falls to the badger as Sorreltail’s final kit is born. The brown tabby molly is small, with delicate white paws. Cinderpelt moves the kit so that Leafpool’s blood doesn’t stain her white chest. With Squirrelflight’s blessing, her youngest niece is named Leafkit, after Sorreltail’s best friend. Cinderpelt grieves her apprentice. She and Firestar spend many sleepless nights sitting quietly together. Crowfeather stays in ThunderClan, grieving with Squirrelflight and Brambleclaw. The three become a little unit, supporting each other. (When Squirrelflight’s kits are born, Crowfeather frets over them more than Brambleclaw. Lionkit is the river’s reflection of Goldenflower; Hollykit is a darker gray than Cinderpelt is, and Firestar says she looks like a littermate of his; Jaykit is Cinderpelt’s favorite, a gray tabby whose every stripe matches his father’s. Crowfeather is the perfect grumpy uncle, and Cinderpelt wishes that Leafpool was there to see them.)

As ThunderClan’s sole medicine cat, Cinderpelt needs to make sure she is focused on her Clan. She meets with Whitetail, her speech to end it all planned out. She meets her again and again and again. Whitetail’s eyes are bright and clear and Cinderpelt can never bring herself to say the words. And then Cinderpelt doesn’t think she could ever say them, because she couldn’t bear to never meet their kits. In a hollow tree during a snowstorm, she delivers her kits (two mollies and a tom, gray and white and perfect). They curl around the three kits and give them names. Cinderpelt will hold this moment in her heart until she fades from existence. When the storm finally breaks, she helps carry the kits back to WindClan. She lies to Onestar, tells him that she found Whitetail in labor on the border. She helped the WindClan molly because it was her holy duty. Whitetail introduces Mosskit, Rockkit, and Bugkit to their Clanmates. Onestar and Smoke’s youngest kit, Heatherkit, watches them with owlish eyes. Nightcloud eyes Whitetail enviously, her stomach swollen with kits soon to be born. Whitetail had kept Cinderpelt updated on the scandal of such a traditional molly claiming Queen’s Rights. Cinderpelt left her family to return to her Clan.

Whitetail can’t meet her during her time in the nursery, too tired to travel to the border. Cinderpelt spends all of her free time thinking of her kits. She’s grateful that everyone thinks of her and Whitetail as friends; Barkface is always happy to update her on the wellbeing of her family. Leafpaw is apprenticed to Crowfeather. Hollypaw joins her in the healer’s den, and Cinderpelt knows that despite her stubbornness, she isn’t cut out to heal. She isn’t surprised when Jaypaw approaches her, eager to learn. She had known early on that warrior training wouldn’t be challenging enough for him. She teaches him what she taught his aunt, and tries not to talk about Leafpool too much. Cinderpelt presents Jaypaw to the other healers and to StarClan. She is so overjoyed she can barely stand when she finally sees Leafpool again, white paws full of stars and eyes kind and gentle. Her former apprentice stands tall when she speaks, and her words carry the weight of the sky: There will be three, your windblown kin, with the power of the stars in their paws.

—

Rockbelly, Bugspring, and Mosstooth (left to right) are the main characters of the Windblown Three AU! Kits of Cinderpelt and Whitetail, they hold the power of the stars in their paws.

Bugspring is cheery and personable. She gets along well with everyone she comes across. She’s super strong, able to move boulders with ease. She’s also able to recover quickly from most injuries, although she’s still susceptible to sickness, and often makes that everyone’s problem.

Rockbelly is very food motivated, and enjoys making his clanmates laugh. He gets short glimpses of the future, but often only moments before it happens. He also occasionally knows information about those around him that he has no reason to know. Despite his best efforts, he doesn’t have much control over either of these abilities.

Mosstooth is clever and direct; she often comes off as rude, but thankfully Bugspring is always there to smooth things over. Mosstooth is WindClan’s best fighter, with the ability to gain the strength of the foes she defeats in battle. While the power gained doesn’t last long, she is a force to be reckoned with in any fight.

I am down to talk about this AU any time. I will also happily draw other Windblown characters if asked 👀

#windblown three au #hypokits #warriors #warrior cats #mouse squeaks #whitetail #cinderpelt #whitecinder #WELCOME TO MY NICHE RAIRPARE Y'ALL #mouse answers

35 notes · View notes

astrorakesh1726 · 2 months

Text

What are the effects of Saturn in the 5th house of a Virgo woman?

In Vedic astrology, the placement of Saturn in the 5th house of a Virgo woman's birth chart can influence various aspects of her life, including her creativity, education, children, and romantic relationships. Here are some potential effects:

Intellectual pursuits: Saturn in the 5th house may indicate a serious and disciplined approach towards education and intellectual pursuits. The individual may have a methodical way of learning and may excel in subjects that require deep concentration and focus.

Creativity: Saturn's presence in the 5th house can sometimes indicate challenges or restrictions in expressing creativity. The individual may have a more structured or disciplined approach to creative endeavors, preferring practical and tangible outcomes over spontaneous expression.

Romantic relationships: Saturn's placement in the 5th house can bring a sense of responsibility and maturity to romantic relationships. The individual may approach love affairs with caution and may prefer long-term commitments over casual flings. There may be a tendency to attract partners who are serious, disciplined, or older.

Children: Saturn in the 5th house may bring delays or challenges in matters related to childbirth or raising children. The individual may take a disciplined and cautious approach to parenting, emphasizing structure and responsibility in their interactions with their children.

Speculative activities: The 5th house also governs speculative activities like gambling and investments. Saturn's presence here may indicate a conservative approach towards such activities, with a preference for long-term and low-risk investments rather than speculative ventures.

Mental health: Saturn's influence in the 5th house may sometimes lead to a tendency towards pessimism or a serious outlook on life. The individual may need to consciously work on developing a more positive and optimistic mindset to counteract any tendencies towards negativity.

Education and learning: Saturn's presence can indicate a strong sense of discipline and responsibility towards education and learning. The individual may be willing to put in the hard work and effort required to achieve their academic goals, even if it means overcoming obstacles or facing delays.

Overall, the influence of Saturn in the 5th house for a Virgo woman may vary depending on the overall configuration of her birth chart, including aspects and conjunctions with other planets. For more accurate interpretation you can use Kundli Chakra Professional 2022 software.

27 notes · View notes

nectar-cellar · 9 months

Text

Bold the Facts

Amir Hussain

thank you for tagging me @zosa95 @holocene-sims 💞💗 im so normal about him... u can learn more about my favorite self-loathing bisexual loser below

[ PERSONAL]

$ Financial: wealthy / moderate / poor / in poverty

✚ Medical: fit / moderate / sickly / disabled / disadvantaged / non applicable

✪ Class or Caste: upper / middle / working / unsure / other

✔ Education: qualified / unqualified / studying / other

✖ Criminal Record: yes, for major crimes / yes, for minor crimes / no / has committed crimes, but not caught yet / yes, but charges were dismissed

[ FAMILY]

◒ Children: had a child or children / has no children / wants children

◑ Relationship with Family: close with sibling(s) / not close with sibling(s) / has no siblings / sibling(s) is deceased

◔ Affiliation: orphaned / adopted / disowned / raised by birth parent / not applicable

[ TRAITS + TENDENCIES]

♦ extroverted / introverted / in between

♦ disorganized / organized / in between [His space is a mess just like his thoughts.]

♦ close minded / open-minded / in between

♦ calm / anxious / in between [Outwardly he seems stoic but internally he’s anxious, he’s overthinking, his thoughts are ruminating, dwelling on the past, etc.]

♦ disagreeable / agreeable / in between [It takes a while for him to warm up to people.]

♦ cautious / reckless / in between [He's too much of an anxious mess to allow himself to be reckless.]

♦ patient / impatient / in between

♦ outspoken / reserved / in between [He can appear to others as aloof and cold and not chatty.]

♦ leader / follower / in between [I don’t think of him as a leader necessarily but he’s definitely not someone who tends to follow others easily. He’s more of a lone wolf if anything.]

♦ empathetic / vicious bastard / in between [A soft heart hidden behind those tall walls!!!]

♦ optimistic / pessimistic / in between [Under all those layers of pessimism, hope persists.]

♦ traditional / modern / in between [He is strongly against conservative/traditionalist ways of thinking.]

♦ hard-working / lazy / in between

♦ cultured / uncultured / in between / unknown [Not an artist himself but he loves consuming art, reading about it, learning, having discussions about What It All Means. He treats himself to Spotify Premium as a little luxury, he can't live without his music. He has an active Letterboxd account and he is constantly pirating media or watching movies/tv shows on illegal streaming sites... truly a cultured modern man.]

♦ loyal / disloyal / unknown [He believes that he owes loyalty to those he loves. In his eyes, breaking that loyalty would be a highly shameful and dishonourable thing to do.]

♦ faithful / unfaithful / unknown [He is faithful to the point where he gets obsessive and possessive. He is somewhat aware that he has toxic tendencies. He never had role models for what healthy relationships and boundaries should look like. He had to learn about those things through media and is still trying to figure it out for himself. He is deeply lonely and wants desperately to be loved. What he actually needs is a therapist but anyways...]

[ BELIEFS]

★ Faith: monotheist / polytheist / atheist / agnostic / Spiritual [He grew up religious but is no longer a believer.]

☆ Belief in Ghosts or Spirits: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care

✮ Belief in an Afterlife: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care

✯ Belief in Reincarnation: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care

❃ Belief in Aliens: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care

✧ Religious: orthodox / liberal / in between / not religious

❀ Philosophical: yes / no

[ SEXUALITY & ROMANTIC INCLINATION ]

❤ Sexuality: heterosexual / homosexual / bisexual / asexual / pansexual

❥ Sex: sex repulsed / sex neutral / sex favorable / naive and clueless

♥ Romance: romance repulsed / romance neutral / romance favorable / naive and clueless / romance suspicious

❣ Sexually: adventurous / experienced / naive / inexperienced / curious [He thinks of sex as a physical way to show and receive love and let’s just say he has a lot of love to give to his one and only.]

⚧ Potential Sexual Partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all

⚧ Potential Romantic Partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all

[ ABILITIES ]

☠ Combat Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none [I think he could handle himself in a fight even though he's a pacifist. He's big and tall. His workout routine consists of weightlifting and boxing. I could see him being interested in taking self-defense courses.]

≡ Literacy Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

✍ Artistic Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none [Would not consider himself an artist in any way, but maybe one day he would attempt to paint something or make a little bowl out of clay. Would love every minute of doing it badly.]

✂ Technical Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

[ HABITS ]

☕ Drinking Alcohol: never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / Alcoholic [Can handle his liquor. Almost always drinks when he's with the boys.]

☁ Smoking: tried it / trying to quit / quit / never / rarely / sometimes / frequently / chain-smoker

✿ Recreational Drugs: never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / addict [Nothing like meth or cocaine but I can see him being open to weed, shrooms, ecstasy in the right company and place.]

✌ Medicinal Drugs: never / no longer needs medication / some medication needed / frequently / to excess [Not something I have thought too much about but he probably takes antidepressants and anti-anxiety medication. Or took them in the past. Or likely will at some point in the future.]

☻ Unhealthy Food: never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / binge eater

$ Splurge Spending: never / sometimes / frequently / shopaholic

♣ Gambling: never / rarely / sometimes / frequently / compulsive gambler

73 notes · View notes

lloydfrontera · 4 months

Text

Seriously, I shouldn't ignore this weird feeling that grips me at times these days. It was rare that such a hunch was wrong. It's something that we all develop after years and years of living and trying to survive. It's sort of like a big data file of life. I think this gut feeling is quite credible.

babygirl intuition may be a thing but i think what you have is anxiety with a healthy dose of ptsd :/

but the most tragic thing is that he's right, the universe is literally out to get him, so he's constantly getting his pessimism validated which only makes him even more wary and cautious of the future because every time he's thought something was about to go wrong he's been proven correct. he's literally the embodiment of the 'is it paranoia if i'm right about it' quote.

#i talk a lot <3 #tged #the greatest estate developer #lloyd frontera #ch 139

38 notes · View notes

shreya11111 · 2 years

Text

post volume 2 byler hope

i know volume 2 has left us feeling very pessimistic and hopeless for the possibility of byler. yet, i do still think there is reason to hope and so i have compiled a list of amazing posts that have definitely increased my faith in s5 byler.

(here is a small disclaimer that even though byler just makes sense to us narratively and overall, there is still a chance that the duffers won’t go through with it. if you choose to have hope regardless, that’s great! but pessimism is absolutely valid too. cautious optimism is definitely recommended)

on tumblr:

1) Ok This may be something that can give us bylers a little more hope. by @beepboop358

3) Five act structure: reason to hope by @reservoir-god

4) Will’s First Lie & First I Love You by @aurorabyler

5) Listen, I know that feelings are mixed in this tag right now but hear me out. by @admirablespoling

6) wanted to put this on here bc it perfectly summarizes my thoughts 🙃 by @lesbos4robin (and cr to @/causeineedu on tiktok)

7) i guess the thing giving me the most hope right now by @queerstshit

8) Mike’s monologue sorta feels like a (weird) Wikipedia article (also check comments) by @wakeupthemembersofbylernation

9) insanely steaming hot take but the Will / El / Mike arc was kinda insanely well done by @mssingrls

10) it’s so insane to me how mike just hasn’t been able to tear his eyes away from will the entire season by @heliumcake

11) I just actually watched season four all the way through and byler is 100% gonna happen it’s so obvious. by @tinyteenieworld

12) This scene reminded me a lot of the beginning of s3, when Mike is goofing around by singing in the middle of kissing by @howtobecomeadragon

13) Piggybacking off of and inspired by this rad post by @admirablespoling. by @tsugarubecker

14) there really is no point to byler if it's unrequited. by @11byers

15) The m!leven flowers are rottin— by @dancing-in-our-snow-globe and @beepboop358

16) It would appear I am indeed one of the very few optimistic (delusional?) Bylers left. by @chirpsythismorning

17) a part of me feels like it's possible that the end of episode 9 was preparing the general audience for Eleven going off on her own, and a Byler ship by @merthurfan-blog

18) my analysis of mike’s “feelings” for el and what leads to the monologue/his feelings behind it by @strangerfigs

19) Here’s a handful of cautious optimism as a treat, my brothers in byler by @hopfields

20) Mike's S4 jacket (and who his heart is really pointing to) by @mlchaelwheeler

21) St@ncy’s revival is like one of the biggest byler proofs in V2. by @neverforever09

22) michael’s airport outfit by @prfctmxxnlight

23) analyzing ST S4/Byler from someone with a film degree. by @swift-fated and credit to @/joannimal on twitter

24) Somebody on twitter noticed how the scene at the roller rink… (parallel to Little Women) by @justmeandmyships

25) Do you find it possible that Byler will definitely happen in season 5 and if so why by @upside-down-byers

26) volume 2 & instant vs delayed gratification by @chartreuse-goose

27) Whenever you doubt Byler, remember that… (a little reminder of all the things pointing towards byler as endgame) by @byernation

28) i just rewatched “the piggyback” and oh. OH. !!!!!!! by @hawkinsp0st

29) i can’t get over “we’re friends. we’re friends.” and “are ‘friends’ electric?” on mikes official Spotify playlist by @strangerfigs

30) “False Confessions” & “Piggybacking” in ST4: Ask Yourself if We Are Being Encouraged to Pick Apart the Inconsistencies... by @bluemeetyellow

31) Byler is going to be Canon and Here’s Why: by @allnaturalapplejuice

on other social media:

1) this beautiful twitter thread on ‘stranger things and the art of slow burn’ by @/hawkinshermit on twitter

2) any and all videos by @/causeineedu on tiktok. this one is one of my personal favs.

3) all the videos by @/naturallybrielle on tiktok

4) the analysis videos of @/girlskth on tiktok. she made a really cool discovery here and here.

5) this post on the use of little women parallels in the show by @/sbyleril on twitter (check comments! there’s a really good video with the parallels too)

6) this perfect harry potter chamber of secrets/byler parallel by @/folklorent on twitter

7) this twitter thread on the parallels between the romances in little women in stranger things by @/rosiec4ke on twitter

i will definitely be adding more posts to this list if i come across any. thank you to all the bloggers for giving me permission to include their posts! i really appreciate it. i also really hope this helped restore your hope in s5 byler, even if just a little bit :)

508 notes · View notes

kiisaes · 2 years

Note

thoughts about bkdk being canon?

i sorta answered this already (here if u're curious) but i suppose i can answer again, this time more in depth and specific to bkdk :')

this turned out WAY longer than i thought so erm. more under the cut LOL

personally i don't think bkdk will be canon. before bkdks throw tomatoes at me, it's not because i dislike them as a ship — rather, canonizing them would be canonizing a main boy x boy relationship in an extremely popular shounen series. i've expressed my pessimism way more times than i should LOL but i truly don't think shounen jump would be willing to take this risk. let it be known that shounen jump has allowed canon lgbt ships and characters in their IPs — blue flag is perhaps the most well-known example of a main relationship being between two guys — but blue flag is not nearly as internationally famous as mha. the more eyes on an IP, the more cautious its choices have to be. it's why the most popular shounens tend to be "stereotypical", "cliche" and "cheesy"; this is what works with its main demographic (teenage/young adult males, to be exact), and if a series gets as big as the likes of mha, it's only smart to keep following that trend.

now, horikoshi does have a tendency to subvert expectations, even within his incredibly cliche hero school story.

bakugou is a subversion of the morally dangerous, edgy rival character by being one of the most heroic, straight-laced teens in the series (as well as genuinely apologizing for his faults that he recognizes are his own). even though he looks and acts like that, his motivations and aspirations are always admirable, even pure and childlike at times. unsurprisingly, people hate him for not being either fully evil or fully good, despite how horikoshi specifically wrote him to be a healthy balance between both his failures and his accomplishments.

deku is a subversion of the stereotypically boyish, emotionally stunted, shounen main character by being unashamedly emotional, awkward and sensitive regarding feelings other than anger or happiness. aka he cries a lot, so much so that average shounen dudebros genuinely hated him for being "soft" and "a baby", but praised him during his vigilante arc where he was ... well, for lack of better phrasing, far more similar to existing shounen protags for being less openly empathetic and more badass. you could honestly argue that deku's entire character isn't meant to be typically badass, flashy, or otherwise appealing to the standard shounen audience. his character arc literally deals with being the hero no one thanks or acknowledges, but he continues to selflessly help others despite the lack of appreciation.

ochako is a subversion of the one-note, intentionally-less-interesting-than-the-mc love interest character — it may not look like it at first glance, but ochako has her own arc that is both connected to deku, yet simultaneously not dependent on him that's been festering in the background since she developed her childish crush on him. the more i read this series, the more i'm convinced that she was never meant to end up with deku. she was only meant to play that role before she comes into her own skin and uses her attraction to deku as a way to be her own kind of hero. or horikoshi is going to shove them together last minute, in which, well, fuck me i guess.

all might is a subversion of the gary-stu archetype, because instead of being the perfect human specimen the way he always presents himself to the public, he's constantly physically deteriorating. not to mention he's a subversion of the know-all mentor character, because he honestly kind of sucks as a mentor. this comes from his own faults as a selfless hero, unable to properly learn from his own mistakes until it was too late. also because he's never taught anyone before so like duh. love him though. i am a toshinori supporter first, everything else second

there's other characters that have been subverted too but you get the idea. horikoshi is very good at writing characters, and to an extent, character relationships. that might be his biggest strength outside of, obviously, his art. and clearly he likes subverting our expectations, otherwise he wouldn't write his main characters like this. he knows what's the norm, uses those tropes as a baseline, only to go out of his way to overthrow those norms the further he develops each given character.

however! i don't think horikoshi will go so far as to subvert the stereotypical main ship (izuocha) and instead pick the relationship between the main two characters (bakudeku). rival relationships in shounen are pretty popular anyway, and mha is not the first shounen to have a deeply meaningful relationship between the male main character and the male main rival/deuteragonist. naruto and haikyuu both have oddly homoerotic friendships between the main two rivals and neither of these relationships are romantically canon.

the reasons why they aren't isn't ever explained why, but i sincerely think at least a sliver of the reason is because both characters are of the same gender. case in point: haikyuu only has a handful of canon boy x girl relationships by the time the series ended. so little that you could literally count the number on one hand, despite the amount of characters in the full cast. and yeah a vast majority of those characters were guys, but those guys were left presumably single, or at least their relationship statuses weren't disclosed. haikyuu did what naruto didn't, which was consciously understand that the most impactful relationships within the entire series were always between two men. for example, hinata and yachi are canonically close friends, and furudate could just pair them up without much thought. but they didn't, instead opting to keep hinata single and keeping his most important relationship with kageyama. likely somewhere there, no matter how faint, furudate didn't canonize kagehina due to fear of backlash, even though it'd make sense chemistry-wise.

bakudeku is in the same boat, where deku could be paired up with ochako if horikoshi just stopped giving fucks — they have a good friendship, with ochako having a crush, or at least a strong admiration, on deku — but he is decidedly not. at least not yet, but it'd be weird to canonize them after taking deku's long platonic feelings for her into account. deku has been entirely single this whole time with nothing aggressively romantic happening between him and ochako (except for the blackwhip situaiton, which ochako's VA herself mentioned as not inherently romantic, but as a chance for ochako to showcase her heroism). i'm inclined to believe this is part of horikoshi's subversions: specifically keeping deku and ochako away from heartfelt, desperate moments where their connection can be brought to the forefront. this makes it even stranger that horikoshi gives bakugou a lot of the standard damsel-in-distress roles, such as being taken hostage by the sludge villain, being kidnapped by the league of villains, and even being carried by deku during their fight with all might. granted he was carried over the shoulder, but he was specifically carried, lol. compared to ochako, bakugou is put in much more danger, consequently "depending" on deku to save him, as much as he hates that.

narratively, this makes bakudeku the most purposeful relationship, from their connection since childhood and having it develop slowly but surely during their adolescence.

their relationship is significantly meant to represent change and equality, as their relationship arc is parallel with many of mha's core themes. canonically they are the two students that inspire the rest of their class to be better heroes. the character deku interacts with most is arguably bakugou, if we put their history into account. even though bakugou was his bully for most of their lives, deku still unconditionally cares about him, even without bakugou asking him to. most times, it's actually against what bakugou wants, which is for deku to leave him alone. he also has the most emotional investment in bakugou, since he canonically sees bakugou as his image of victory, as well as someone who instantly triggers his emotional response as opposed to his logical response. literally like 80% of deku's "outbursts" where he acts utterly irrationally (and not always in a heroic way) are related to bakugou. see: sludge villian,

bakugou's kidnapping (in the original japanese version, i believe he says "give him back" in a distinctly possessive way, as if bakugou is genuinely his. but i could be wrong, idk how to read japanese),

deku vs kacchan 2 (instead of trying to talk down bakugou, he ends up fighting him even though it's against the rules, just because he can't exactly say no to bakugou's unconventional way of dealing with his feelings),

blackwhip's awakening (there is murder in his eyes. monoma insulted bakugou and deku was ready to kill him),

danger sense's awakening (same as blackwhip's awakening, but amplified to 100 given how bakugou was straight up stabbed in front of his eyes),

and bakugou's apology. (this one isn't deku being impulsive, more that bakugou appealed to his emotions and it worked way better than any of their classmates' attempts lol)

through a few of these given pieces of evidence, it's also evident that bakugou cares a hefty amount for deku, just in a more lowkey, less obvious way. this feeling gets distinctly more desperate when deku runs away, so much so that bakugou bluntly tells everyone that he knows deku best (something he probably would have never verbalized earlier in the series), mobilizes his class to chase him down, and eventually talks deku into coming back. so it's also canon that bakugou cannot stand the thought of deku not being near him — "it makes me wanna keep him at arm's length" and whatever.

in literally every story-related way imaginable, it makes sense for bakudeku to be canon. in terms of relationships, they have the most developed, dynamic, and interesting one. they get the most screen time. the proof is quite literally in the story. everything bkdks look at for bkdk proof is canon, a somewhat rare situation shipping-wise, where two characters that aren't together in canon already feel like they are together in canon. at this point, all they'd have to say to make it canon is "i like you". so why the hell am i such a fucking cynic about them?

i've already mentioned up there that it's already pretty damn hard for a shounen jump to canonize a gay ship. it doesn't matter how popular the ship is in the fandom; if the mangaka and/or the manga distributor doesn't want them to be canon, then they won't be canon. it's made even worse that deku and bakugou are the main characters; if they were background characters, they honestly might've had a better chance in my eyes.

because here's the thing: canonizing bakudeku means that mha (and to an extent, shounen jump) is now officially supporting the lgbt community. which it already techncially is with its side characters like toga (either bi or pan), magne (trans) and tiger (trans), but they're side characters. purposefully not as important as deku and bakugou, who are the poster characters for merch, advertising, and spin-off material such as movies and games. regarding the lgbt community, japan is more conservative than the US — they haven't legalized gay marriage, and the overall understanding and acceptance of it is lower than the western world. all of this combined makes it very hard for any canon lgbt content to be big, mainstream and serialized. this isn't to say that japan doesn't allow any shows involving gay characters, but those shows are considerably more niche, many of them falling under bl/gl instead of any other broad genre. even yuri on ice, which was a big hit for what it was worth, only got one season and a movie that is seemingly never coming out.

mha is, in every sense of the word, not a niche series. horikoshi would be risking a lot making his male main characters romantically involved with each other, because mha is not a series that can fly under the radar and be solely picked up by smaller groups that are more accepting of queer people and relationships. it'd be like making luffy from one piece canonically gay. and i have never read one piece but i'm pretty sure all the dudebros in both the west and in asia would flip their fucking shits. it doesn't matter how close deku and bakugou are. as long as both of them are guys, their canonization will be inherently "political". at best, people would complain about why romance should be in a story like this in the first place (a common homophobic argument against lgbt relationships, since they have nothing against the male mc dating the main girl). at worst, people would be outright homophobic, aggressive towards the direction the manga is moving, and horikoshi could face serious repercussions regarding funding and advertising.

shows in the west get screwed over constantly for including lgbt relationships. steven universe had to fight tooth and nail to include ruby and sapphire's romance, and even harder for their wedding. the owl house's lumity faced something much similar, and the show even got "cancelled" — i know it's a glass half-empty idea, but i think they got cut short partly because of lumity. kids cartoons always try sneaking in lgbt content, but either they get cut, hidden, or relegated to background characters where you'll blink and you'll miss it. we're getting better i guess, but the undeniable truth is that if even the US is this finicky about lgbt representation, then there's no way japan will fold so easily.

if bakugou were a girl, then bakudeku would be canon by now. if deku were a girl, then bakudeku would be canon by now. it's the same shit every time; shounen series write the most groundbreaking, mindblowing relationships between two dudes, only to never make them official due to their genders. instead, they're stuck with having the most important dynamic within the entire narrative, but it's strictly platonic. i don't think it's because shounen mangakas are inherently homophobic. i don't think horikoshi is homophobic at all. i simply think that they'd rather play it safe, knowing their main audience. shounen is not written for any fandom demographics. we're big, but ultimately we hold no power over the story.

when i say i don't think horikoshi is homophobic at all, i truly mean that, because — i think if he had it his way, he would've made bakudeku canon by now.

there's already so much shit. a baffling amount of shit to prove their loyalty to each other, how they affect each other and their arcs, how they're save to win, win to save. how bakugou is a key component of deku's character, and how deku is probably the most important character to bakugou's entire development. horikoshi is deliberate in how he writes them. he's deliberate in how he framed bakugou as "the girl" that "the hero" needs to save. he's deliberate in their complimentary personalities and values. he's very fucking deliberate in how he specifically makes their relationship the most changing, beneficial, and understanding. if horikoshi didn't care about these two and their connection, he wouldn't have done all this. he would've latched deku and bakugou onto other characters, or had them be standalone individuals. but no; their entire existence is about dependence. about finding that middle ground and growing together, intertwined.

he's also not afraid of adding lgbt characters into his series, as long as those characters don't get a large amount of screen time. like previously mentioned, toga is canonically not straight, having interest in both deku and ochako. and she's written pretty damn well too, with her attraction to deku and ochako playing a huge role in her characterization. like i said before, horikoshi is good at writing characters and relationships. i don't doubt that he's capable of writing lgbt relationships too, if given the opportunity. i'd actually shit bricks if horikoshi made togachako canon. somehow i find that more likely than bakudeku. sick and twisted.

he also made magne and tiger, who are both wholly unimportant characters and one of them fucking dies. but the point is, i believe that horikoshi would want to make more characters lgbt, he just very possibly cannot right now. there's too much at stake; he's a popular mangaka writing a hugely successful series, with an insanely wide outreach. there will obviously be a sized portion of his reader base that just absolutely hates the gays. i'm pretty sure he's aware of this.

all this said, i find it hard to believe that horikoshi doesn't like bakudeku as a canon duo. not a romantic relationship exactly, but at least as an official partner duo. they're constantly paired up promotionally anyway. it would take horikoshi zero effort to make them future pro hero partners. it would probably take him more effort to justify why they aren't. what i'm trying to say here is this: horikoshi is possibly trying, in the most subtle ways possible, to allude to their relationship deepening in the coming years. just, well, not strictly romantically. in the same way his fellow shounen mangakas either stuck to heterosexual romances or no romances at all, he will likely settle for a simple platonic relationship between bakudeku. but he won't confirm nor deny that bakudeku are more, the same way furudate didn't say shit about kagehina. it's up to your interpretation. they could be just friends or dating or married; just know that the mangaka himself likes the idea that his main two guy characters are this close with each other.

ANYWAY. THE POINT IS. i do not think bakudeku will be canon. i refuse to get my hopes up, and i will continue to be a pessimistic little bitch until i'm proven wrong. i hope i am proven wrong. i hope horikoshi decides to make them canon, i really hope he does. but i'm just not sure if he'll be allowed that chance, or if he'll want to do it in the first place. in the meantime, i am fully prepared to see bakudeku as yet another failed mlm relationship in mainstream shounen, one that could have been genuinely revolutionary. oh well. at least we still have fan content.

#MIN SHUT THE FUCK UP. OH MY GOD.#NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR U TALK FOR HOURS ON END ON WHY U'RE AN ASSHOLE CYNIC.#but uhhh yeah those are my unfiltered thoughts. absolutely batshit insane of me i think.#again these are just my thoughts totally opinionated u can fully disagree with me if u want #also this probably makes no sense and has no structure. whoops. sorry #long post #asks for becki #bakudeku

190 notes · View notes

balanceoflightanddark · 2 years

Text

Look, I understand there has been a lot of mixed reactions to the upcoming Azula comic being penned by Faith Hicks ranging from dread to cautious optimism. While I do fall in the latter category, I do understand the pessimism. Azula has been done really dirty over the years in the comics and while her portrayal in Suki Alone was better, it wasn't good either.

But regardless over whether or not the comic does crash and burn, there is something that should be pretty clear.

Death threats are not okay.

Faith said she received death threats about writing Azula which apparently rattled her a bit, causing her to be afraid of writing her. While I’m not accusing anyone of writing death threats (trust me, I doubt anyone here has), I just want to reinforce that the practice is NOT okay and will never be okay. As nervous as we all are about a character near and dear to our hearts being portrayed, it shouldn’t justify being bullied and threatening someone over it.

And I get it. I was pissed at Yang for butchering her character. I understand where the frustration is coming from and the anxiety behind a solo comic. Again though, we can be better than death threats. I know we can be better.

If the comic is bad, we can do what we’ve done before: make fair and thought out critiques of it. Cause death threats are pathetic and not the way. Ever.

#azula #princess azula #azula deserved better #azula in the spirit temple #atla #azula meta

187 notes · View notes

rabarbarzcukrem · 7 months

Text

Okay I've been meaning to write this post for a while because. Those last few episodes have fucking layers mannnn

So let me start by saying that House and Cuddy's relationship was, sadly, doomed from the very beginning. That's not to say that it didn't have any chance of working out, ever, because they clearly had chemistry and cared about each other. But the circumstances of them getting together, the fact that it was the reason House decided to stay clean makes for an absolutely awful start. It fucks up the dynamic of your relationship - it demands one person to stay for the sake of ensuring the other doesn't relapse, and no one should ever be put under this kind of pressure. Secondly, it was always conditional - which is actually not as bad as it sounds. House is a person who loves pushing boundaries, and Cuddy is a woman who knows her own worth. She, Stacy and even Dominika aren't pushovers - with them, there are lines that House knows he can't cross. Lines that, once crossed, will make them decide it's not worth it and leave him.

And here's where Wilson comes in, because he's exactly this kind of pushover. During one of the therapy sessions House straight up admits that's why he's still his friend - because he can say anything to him and he won't leave. Wilson's affection for him is truly unconditional, and as unhealthy it may be, it's the only kind of relationship that really works for House.

See, he is fundamentally a selfish person. I am not saying that he doesn't have his moments of kindness, but on the most basic level he prioritizes his own needs above everyone else's. He's right when he says he doesn't sacrifice himself. In fact he's incapable of, or perhaps too stubborn to, sacrifice even the smallest amount of his own comfort for the other person, or to simply make the situation easier - a quality that's crucial for, y'know. Existing within society, not to mention maintaining a romantic relationship. He follows his own curiosities with no regard for anything, he will intentionally make his own life harder just to get what he wants, to end up being right. Even in his affection and care for other people he's always centering himself - when Cuddy is hospitalized, he panics. But his fear doesn't motivate him to support her in this trying time, it consumes him to the point he can't even bring himself to visit her. It doesn't matter that she's the one who's sick, or even that her tumor is benign. The only thing that matters is that he is scared.

Someone might say: "well, yeah, but underneath all of this he's actually full of self-hate". And I agree! Except that fact only contributes to his selfishness. You know how anxiety disorders make you worry about what other people think of you to the point you're not actually focusing on them, but only on yourself and your worst qualities? That's exactly what's happening here. In fact, his overall cynicism and pessimism require that of him. If he believes himself a horrible person, and one incapable of change at that, and also believes in the inherent cruelty of the universe and ultimate egoism of all people, of course he ends up unable to connect with anyone. Like when he ends up pushing Stacy away, because he decides it's not even worth it to give them a chance at happiness - making it all about himself again. He thinks he's unlovable, so he acts like a dick. Because he acts like a dick, no one wants to deal with him. This confirms his assumption that he's unlovable, and the cycle continues.

And the reason these last episodes are so gut-wrenching is because all of that gets completely turned on its head. You see, Wilson and his friendship is House's point of reference, the one stable thing in his life, one thing he can be sure of. He's very cautious about depending on anything and anyone else, and yet in Wilson he puts complete trust. During his time in prison, he admits to one of the men there that he's "peepless", because nobody has ever visited him. Yet once he comes back, he's fully ready to fall into the same routine with Wilson, almost as if the possibility of their friendship ending has never crossed his mind. Because he can do unimaginably stupid and cruel things, he can make everyone hate him, but no matter what he does he will not lose Wilson.

Except that when Wilson gets cancer, he has to face the reality that no matter what he does...he will lose him. And the rug is pulled from under his feet.

Once again, we see House repeat the usual pattern of being so scared of losing people that he panics and abandons them at the time they need him the most. He's so terrified of having to not only witness Wilson's death, but keep on living without him, that he gives in to his most self-destructive tendencies. He takes the cowardly way out, because the alternative would require him to get over himself, to get over his fear and insecurities, to endure it for the sake of being there for someone else. He can't bring himself to, he decides it's just not worth the pain.

Except..in those last moments, when he's debating with himself if he should go through with it, he ends up breaking the goddamn pattern. He goes against his self-centeredness, his stagnancy, the features that are the most central to his whole character and opens himself up to change. House! Who has long accepted that people, and especially him, will never change! He sacrifices not only his comfort, not only his core beliefs, but the very thing he lives for - the puzzle, or more specifically, medicine, just to spend these last few months with his best friend. It doesn't matter that it hurts, it doesn't matter that House has lost all hope and doesn't see the point of it all, he will bear it. Because Wilson needs him..and that's enough.

#DO YOU GET IT DO YOU UNDERSTAND #once again proving how normal I am about them #that's why no matter how sad it makes me I can't bring myself to imagine that house decides to keep living after wilson dies #because wilson is quite literally the only thing that prevents house from killing himself in the first place #he proclaims himself dead to wilson #I like how one person put it... that he's 'living on Wilson's borrowed time'#oh my god I just realized something.#doesn't it make House's relationship with cuddy a parallel to the ending.#he stays clean just to be with cuddy and he stays alive just to be with wilson. oh my god #someone sedate me #house md #hilson #< I guess #h #moje

16 notes · View notes

headlesstypo · 2 years

Text

Misconceptions About Type 1

Type 1 is likely one of the more uncommon types within the enneagram system. We often joke of the overtypings of 5s and 4s and proceed to forget that type 1 is also strongly overtyped. The fact is that few if any enneagram authors were of the type 1 personality type, therefore much of what is written about the type is lacking this first person experience associated with the type. This becomes very obvious in descriptions of 1 which almost entirely ignore 1s connection to the body triad and, at times, portray the type as if it were of the head triad. When learning the enneagram, it becomes especially important to understand this difficulty and begin to reconceptualize our understanding of type 1 in particular.

1) Type one is "insert head type description here": Many descriptions portray 1 almost as though it were a head type rather than a gut type, which leads to a lot of 6s and probably even 5s mistyping as such. While 1s can be cautious, worrisome, cerebral and even theoretical/thoughtful, the core of the gut center revolves around instinct and body orientation. Anger and frustration for the 1 is often felt intensely and in the body sense. One of the best self descriptions I’ve heard from a 1 about this experience was the comparison of the self to a tuning fork, with “wrong” being identified as a dissonance between the self and reality. While 1s sense of ideality as well as their sense of right/correct or wrong/incorrect can be intensely logical, have solid reasoning, and be thought through in great detail, the 1s sense of ideality does not stem from the mind, but from the body and that either intuitive or sensational sense of ideality and non-ideality. This type is most often incredibly decisive and trusting of it's sense of directionality unlike the head types who will bolster their sense of judgement through impulse, intense research, external affirmation, or other means because the core of type 1 is not a distrust of internal guidance. The type literally only has possibility for positive outlook wings as well as a strong line to 7, a positive outlook type. This manifests as this incredible sense of self trust in their own ideas and ability to assert judgement and provides a driving force for action and movement since, despite cynisism or pessimism, there is often assumption that ideality is something that can be reached for or even obtained. This is the strongest distinguishing factor between 1 and other types consistently mistyped as 1.

It should be clarified further that “body sense” does not imply that all 1s need to be “sensing” types in the mbti sense or are remotely connected to their body in the physical or traditional sense. Ideality can be abstracted in the intuitive sense, body sensations can be entirely filtered through an abstract lens in the sense that a 1 may not be able to describe it as it exists physically, etc. The distinction must be made that the gut triad in general comes with this arrogant “I just know” sort of mentality that distinguishes it from the heart and head triads.

2) Type one represses anger and is often inclined to come across as composed: It is not uncommon for 1s style of anger to be misinterpreted as repressed, especially considering how uncommon this type actually is. Textually, it can be difficult to find a word that is distinctly fitting for their style of anger. While 1 often prioritizes objective and clear thought, this types vice is still wrath. Perhaps this anger and rage may be internally justified as something that the 1 does not consider rage (ie. nitpicking, organizing, criticism, an explanation etc) or the 1 may even truly believe they are as cool headed and emotionally detached as many suspect themselves to be, however the 1's wrath is externally oriented and palpable. Wrath exclusively directed at the self, but not caught by others or a type that only manifests as being internally frustrated or critical of others alongside little to no external expression is a 9 thing. Repressing anger to maintain a clearheaded, objective stance is also more of a 9, 6, or even 3 trait rather than a trait that is primarily 1. 1 type anger is controlled, directional, and centered (rather than diffused and internally brewed as in the 9 or ranged, comfortably expressed, and impact focused as in the 8). This even applies to 1w9, who's sense of wrath may be oriented towards reducing discomfort or takes on the justification as being peace/balance seeking but is not as quiet or remotely hidden as some often expect it to be.

3) Type 1 is rigid and Rule Abiding: They are, but to their own sense of structure, not necessarily external structures. 1 has a strong vision of how the world should be and what is lacking. The archetype of the perfect student who enforces the rules or the person dedicated to a strong moral system or "the goody two shoes" is 90% of the time a 3 or 6 at their core because both of these stances are strongly tied to pre-established systems and appeal to the attachment orientation. 1 at it's core is frustration and dissatisfaction. 1 isn't necessarily breaking rules and can have moral stances that connect to culture and common standards, but there is a strong connection to the body and impulse sense of anger and frustration rather than the more traditional focus on established systems and rules. 1 is far more often the generator of rules and standards rather than the follower of them.

4) The Core Fear of 1 is Being a Bad Person: While this is not necessarily incorrect, the way this is framed does not provide the necessary context that, once again, this is not really expectation based and that “bad” is not necessarily relating to morality. You can have traditionally “evil” 1s who embrace the concept of being absolutely awful or, more commonly, are unaware of the effects of their behavior on others or hypocrisy because, once again, all of this self directed and critical behavior is a felt sense. 1 moves in the direction of it’s compass, that compass does not have to be remotely moral in the traditional sense.

#Enneagram #1w2 #1w9 #enneagram 1 #misconceptions #hexad types #typology #why you're mistyped #mistyping

157 notes · View notes