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enigmatist17 · 11 months

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"Try again, this time focus on keeping your stance tight."

"Yes sir." There is the clacking of training sticks for a few minutes before a loud thump, and a score buzzer rang out through the training room.

"Improvement, but you can do better."

"Yes sir." 7567 sighed, getting up to his feet with a wince. Sweat is dripping off his brow as the cadet stands, and he has barely a moment to breathe before his opponent strikes, deflecting the blow as he stepped back. He doesn't move as fast as the man he's facing, but 7567 does his best to not waver as he dodges and strikes the few chances he can, but eventually is once again tripped onto his back.

"Much better." Commander Neyo offers his hand, and helps the younger clone up and onto his feet. "You've earned a rest, go get a drink." 7567 nodded and went to fetch his canteen, sitting down on the floor with a relieved sigh. His muscles are all aching as he sips his water, but 7567 is proud that he's becoming stronger and stronger with his training.

It had been a little over two months since Kamino had been taken over by his fellow ori'vod, and the facilities had begun to feel akin to a home. It wasn't uncommon to see Jetti more and more these days, and there were rumors that some of the unfinished living areas were being converted into a mini Temple for them, which was quite exciting for the younger clones. Battalions and squads from all over made it a point to try and swing by when they could, often acting as couriers from other groups to bring things that could be used to decorate the facilities or bring a view of the universe to awestruck cadets and the eager shinies. 7567 watched it all happen in the background, or as much as he could with everyone knowing he'd become close with the various commanders that visited when they could.

"Come, another half hour, and then you're free to go." Neyo had been the one allowed to stay the longest so far, and while he wasn't affection as Bly, or gentle as Monnk, 7567 could see early on the commander's own way he showed his care. He knew a lot of the deployed troopers would mutter comments about how cold and uncaring the commander was, but he had never really felt that Neyo was like that.

By the end of the half-hour, 7567 is exhausted, but pleased to have remained upright this round, grinning as he gathered up his canteen and a small towel to wipe away his sweat.

"Would you like to join me for dinner ori'vod?" 7567 hoped he wasn't being too direct, waiting until the duo had left the training room to ask. "I have an area where the others won't be able to watch us eat."

"If you wish." 7567 smiled, and darted off to go shower, leaving the commander to break off and do the same in his temporary officers' quarters. It had been one of Lama Su's random conference rooms that were never used, Neyo taking a small joy from throwing out the furniture into the hallway. Said room was half of a construction site, as he was in the process of hand-building a bathroom and kitchenette for use when he would rotate in and out.

He despised the clinical way the Kaminoians insisted on decorating everything from equipment to clothing.

7567 is waiting patiently for him outside of Neyo's room when the commander steps out, holding a tray of food for both of them.

"You remembered what I enjoy." The cadet nods as Neyo takes his tray, and begins to follow 7567 through the halls.

"Commander Fox said he would teach me how to cook when he comes back." The cadet is practically beaming at the idea. "I hope he's okay, he hasn't been really answering my comms lately, but I know he's busy."

"Mhm." Neyo made a note to check in on Fox later on, trailing 7567 as he takes the other up to the highest level of the facility, setting his tray down to pull open a door that had been locked up at some point.

"Come on, this has one of the best views." Picking his tray back up, 7567 leads Neyo into the dark room and towards the giant window that spanned one side of the room. The commander can see there are some cots littered around what must have been a storage room at one time, and realizes it was most likely a batches hiding spot from the longnecks, of which he knew there were quite a few around Tipoca. The window did overlook quite a bit of the landing platforms of Tipoca, and can picture eager eyes watching ships taking on and off day after day.

"Nice view." 7567 nodded as he took a seat at a table right up against the window, and Neyo joins him after nudging some cushions aside.

"One of my batchmates found it, took us weeks to get all this stuff in here." The younger hummed as he bit into a fruit, glancing up at some writing scratched into the glass. "We used to come whenever we had our free day, but got caught near...near the end."

"I see." Neyo leans forward, and gives 7567 a gentle pat to the top of his head that he was growing used to. "They did well."

"Yea, didn't they?" The younger smiles weakly, and for a few minutes, they eat in silence, listening to the landing and departure of a few ships below.

"What does this mean?" 7567 glances over when Neyo speaks, and sees he's pointing at something etched into the glass.

"The R E X S I? They were the initials of some ARC troopers we earned some lessons from." The younger smiled fondly at the memory, and Neyo continues to stare at the initials for a spell before looking at the cadet.

"I will call you Rex. While...not what they inferred, your batchmates left a name for you."

"...what?" Neyo watches as 7567 stares, wide eyes trained on him as he disgests the information. "Are..you're serious?"

"Yes."

"Rex...Rex." The name sounds foreign at first, almost seeming fit for some other clone that hadn't grown into his namesake. "Rex...I like it."

"Thought as much. Now the others can stop bickering." 75-no, Rex, looked up in confusion, as Neyo sips his drink.

"They were fighting about my name?" Rex can't help the grin that breaks out, and Neyo rolled his eyes. "Who was winning?"

"No one, though Cody went to speak with the Jedi for an idea. He most likely would have succeeded." Rex grinned, a smile that didn't leave his face until the two separated for the evening. Neyo could hear Rex excitedly sharing his name as he walked away with any clone in sight, and a faint smirk pulls at his lips as he pulls out his data pad.

<Neyo>: Kid has a name now.

<Cody>: What???

<Wolffe>: You DID NoT

<Wolffe>: NEYO

<Fox>: It better be good.

<Cody>: I agree

<Bly>: What is it??? I want to know!

<Neyo>: Rex

<Ponds>: I like it, where's it from?

<Fox>: Rex?

<Cody>: Rex, suits him.

<Wolffe>: ......it's good

<Bly>: I can't wait when the others log in :]

<Gree>: A name???

Neyo watches as the others continue to banter, but none of them seemed to dislike the name.

Worked for him.

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enigmatist17 · 1 year

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Okay, so my one-shot might not be a one-shot anymore

-----------------------

The first time Obi-Wan Kenobi sees CT-7567, he's balanced on Commander Wolffe's hip like he belongs there, the cadet pointing to a holographic map and giving intel about certain sections of Tipoca City. It was still alarming to hear the voice of a soldier come from the body of a child, and this one was screaming loss hurt anger into the Force that made his heart ache. Wolffe is relaying such intel to his troopers down on Kamino, and it takes a moment to register the Jedi had joined them with his ever-present shadow behind him.

"General, Cody." He nods, and the cadet looks up in curiosity. Kenobi could feel Cody suddenly radiate an innate need to protect this child, and knows things are about to become interesting. "The kih'vod has been helping us with some of the last strongholds."

"Very well, please continue...?"

"CT-7567." The cadet responds, and Kenobi wonders what name he'll be given one day. Cody, who usually stuck to his Jedi's side like glue, instead moved to stand beside Wolffe, who hands the cadet over without a moment's hesitation. In turn, Cody adjusts so 7567 is on his hip now, and the cadet is eyeing his golden armor with a dozen awed questions. The older clone just gives him a soft look, and 7567 turns to keep explaining the weaknesses that could be accessed, as gathering up Lama Su and his remaining doctors was critical for a complete takeover. He apparently had been good at sneaking around with his batchmates, and true to fashion, Lama Su is dismayed to find his secure bunker was quite the opposite. The cheers of thousands of clones rise up when he's secured, and Kamino was theirs, theirs to do with what they wanted, what they should have been able to.

Make it a home, rather than a place to suffer and be stifled.

7567 has no more tears to shed, watching through footage as Lama Su and the others were placed in cells for interrogation. He rests his head on Cody's shoulder, and the commander just murmurs something in Mando'a before adjusting his hold. Kenobi excuses himself so he can return to the city, leaving Wolffe and Cody with the young clone, and for a moment they stare at each other.

"Gree and Ponds are already on their way, I told them to meet us in your quarters," Cody speaks first, and Wolffe grumbles. "It's either that, or fight your wolf pack for the kid, like I don't feel them staring at me."

"Wolf pack?" 7567 asks, and Wolffe puffs out his chest, and some of the clones working on the bridge let out a few whoops.

"It's what we all call ourselves here." Wolffe grinned, and 7567 giggled a bit at how proud they all were. Cody just rolled his eyes, but the smirk on his face betrayed his amusement. There's a beep on Wolffe's comm, and he groans after reading the message.

"Kriffing Neyo heard about it, and he's coming with Monnk. Just how many commanders did you let in on this?" Cody had the decency to look sheepish, and the datapad in his hand becomes a shield.

"Well, I told Fox first..."

"No you didn't." It was no wonder some of the harder-to-reach CC's were poking their heads in. "You do know Neyo is an adenn chakaar when it comes to kih'vod's right? Fox needs to learn how to keep his mouth shut."

"Right, you tell that to the man in the worst position." Cody scoffed, and it was not long before the two devolved into a bitching fest, with 7567 watching with wide eyes.

He was learning so many curse words.

"Is THIS the one I've heard so much chatter about!?" Commander Bly had the subtly of a raging bantha, and there was some laughter from various clones as he practically force jumps his way across the bridge. "Let me see let me see!" 7567 doesn't get a chance to say anything when he's scooped up from Cody's hold, gripping onto armored arms as he's spun around with an excited gasp. His voice has the twinge of some accent 7567 has never heard before, and he finds he enjoys it almost immediately. "He's a blonde!"

"Careful, you'll fling him through a wall if you're not careful," Wolffe grumbled, but chuckles when the cadet grins at the new CC.

"I'm keeping him, it's official," Bly stated quite proudly, before grunting when someone slaps his helmet from behind.

"You don't get to decide this early." 7567 noted the CC who had smacked the now spluttering commander holding him was decked out in green, and recognized that he serves under a Jedi he had seen about a year prior on a rare stop on Kamino.

"Fox would rip you a new one if you did that before he got to see the kih'vod for himself." The one in green berates Bly, and the accented clone grumbles before setting the cadet down for the first time in hours.

"Is the Fox you keep mentioning the Coruscant Guard commander?" He feels a little awkward asking, but the various CC's nod in answer, and 7567 grins. "I've heard he's really cool."

"Fox? Cool? In what universe?" Bly cackles, removing his helmet to grin at the cadet, and his fellow leaders do the same. Despite each of them sharing the same face, 7567 can already pick out differences in each of their faces, and it reminds him of his batchmates.

No, he's not going to cry in front of all of them, not right now.

"He serves the Chancellor, and according to some...data we found, he gets to see all the Senators all the time!" 7567 is beaming as he rambles off what he knows, and every CC is suddenly transported to the times they were younger and a little more carefree before the war sunk its claws into them. 7567 doesn't see the way they look at each other, and what Wolffe saw in him was made solid for all of them.

"Sorry I'm late, someone wasn't in their barracks like the comm said."

Not a single soul on The Triumphant had ever seen so many commanders in one place before, and work was abandoned to watch one of the rarer clones grace their presence. Not many of them got to see one of the men hand-trained by Jango Fett himself, so comms are beeping all across the ship as those on the bridge recorded what they could, as well as sending said news out to the nearby other cruisers.

"Sorry Ponds, Bly here decided to ignore that, and here we are." Gree greeted, the two knocking their forearms against each other before Ponds looks down at the small clone, whose wide eyes are looking up at the recon expert.

"Blonde?" Ponds knelt down so the two were eye to eye, removing his helmet and setting it on the floor by his knee. "Lama Su hates blondes."

7567 didn't realize just how wide his eyes could go.

"I forgot you were blonde, the shiny dome makes one forget," Cody smirks, and there are more than a few snickers, including one from 7567. The commander just shrugs, and seems to just analyze the younger clone in front of him for a moment, before giving a small smile.

"You're going to have the most annoying adoptive ori'vod this side of the known universe." It's a statement more than an observation, and Ponds was never wrong. "I have spoken."

"Sir, Commander Fox sent word he'll arrive within a rotation, and to quote, "not let the others steal the kih'vod, or he'll have all caff allotments pulled'." A communications clone reported to the group, and he was trying very hard not to laugh.

"Not fair!" Bly complained, and the various commanders start bickering and laughing at each other all at once. 7567 is picked up by Ponds when he stands to join the fray, and for the first time since he had left that horrible room, it's like his batchmates are the ones bickering and laughing with him.

He doesn't realize he's fallen asleep, face buried into Ponds' chest plating like it's the most comfortable pillow in the world.

"I think he'll fit in just fine." Gree hummed, standing beside his friend as they watch the others bicker.

"He'll have to, we're not letting him go."

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sulevinen · 1 year

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Read also on AO3 ”Odd one out”

CT-7567 wasn’t too thrilled about his new CC-classes. Well, of course he was excited for the new challenges and more advanced learning, but he was nervous about meeting the new people.

There were less CC’s than CT’s by a couple hundred thousand. They were the very few clones that were decanted, even fewer made it out of the tube. Only the best of the best were CC’s, and in this class, CT-7567 was the only CT.

So maybe saying he was nervous was an understatement. He felt like he was going to vibrate out of his skin.

He tapped his leg with his fingers and tried to relax his breathing. He stood at the back of the room, eyes set on the floor to avoid eye contact and to appear as unapproachable as possible, but he guessed that understandably he would be the object of curiosity for many.

”Hey”, someone said, and CT-7567 lifted his gaze towards the voice. ”You’re the CT?”

CT-7567 nodded and glanced between the three CC’s.

”I’m Bly”, the middle one said with a smile, and offered his hand. CT-7567 eyed it and hid his hands behind his back, facing the ground again.

”I’m Bacara, this is Neyo”, the one on the left said, and CT-7567 gave them a rigid nod.

”Do you have a name?”, came the next question, to which CT-7567 didn’t have an answer, so he kept quiet.

”You’re not much of a talker, are you?”

Not in particular. He might’ve been, if there was anyone who would’ve wanted to talk with him, but he wasn’t too keen on testing it now.

”That’s fine. We’re mostly quiet here.”

”As if. Wolffe is a kriffing menace.”

CT-7567 didn’t care for their conversation, so he tuned out and focused on the static in his head. Bly’s statement of them being mostly quiet seemed to be false, as their insistent voices penetrated through the static and made his attention falter.

The few bits and pieces he couldn’t filter out were mostly obscure words that CT-7567 guessed were related to names. Wolffe, Colt, Gree, Blitz… all unique and said in such familiarity and ease that CT-7567 didn’t think anyone could ever have in the CT-classes.

The CC’s had names. Many of them, so it seemed, unlike the CT’s. CT-7567 knew only one CT who had had a name, but he had passed a few weeks before. CT-7567 didn’t remember, to his shame, what it had been, so he had died nameless regardless. That’s how it always seemed to go.

”Hey, you listening?” CT-7567 lifted his head to look at the three CC’s. The middle- Bly, raised his eyebrows at him, the other two were frowning. CT-7567 shook his head, since he hadn’t been listening, which seemed to agitate them all.

”Well, if you ever feel like talking…”, Bly said unsurely, and left with the other two.

CT-7567 looked after them and faced the floor again.

The voices were growing louder the more CT-7567 let his anxieties surface to his chest. More laughter, more bickering, more shouting and arguing. All cramped in a small room, too small for CT-7567 to handle all the new sensory input, from the noises to smells to faces to people.

It was strange how an age gap of only few years could turn the same familiar face into something strange and uncanny.

”Hey.”

CT-7567 closed his eyes. He didn’t want to do this. He wanted everyone to stop. Stop their questions and their walking and their excessive breathing.

They were too loud.

He would never make it.

”It’s okay. I didn’t come here to make you talk. Just uh- came here to say, that, if you need help during training or any classes, feel free to ask me.”

CT-7567 glanced up just to catch a glimpse of the CC, more smiley and tall than the first three.

”I’m Cody. You’re-”, he puckered his lips, ”CT-7567? Do you have a name?”

CT-7567 worked up the courage to talk. ”They don’t give us names”, he forced out a quiet whisper.

”Well, not to us either, but we choose them for ourselv-”

”They don’t let us choose”, CT-7567 said, cutting Cody off. Cody blinked at him and tilted his head, smile fading just a little bit.

”Well then”, Cody said softly, ”I said what I came here to say. Don’t hesitate to ask me.”

CT-7567 nodded and looked away again. After a moment, long enough for CT-7567 to panic about Cody deciding to stay, he finally left him alone.

——————

After the first class, which was surprisingly easy for a CC class, CT-7567 sat at lunch alone. By choice, no less, but he had a feeling it was everyone else’s choice too.

Wolffe, a cadet with a constant half-smile on his face, had stared at him throughout the lesson, and CT-7567 wasn’t sure why. He feared that it was his blond hair, or then his CT-number, or maybe he was friends with Bly. Either way, he had been staring at him for an uncomfortable amount, and when CT-7567 had sat down at lunch, Wolffe had circled around his table as if he wanted to sit down.

CT-7567’s frown had made him decide otherwise, and the other CC’s had followed Wolffe’s example. So, it was their choice really, that he was sitting alone.

Still, someone laid their tray down opposite of CT-7567, and for some reason, he wasn’t surprised.

”Hey”, Cody said with a smile, and sat down. ”Did you like your first lesson with us?”

”It was fine”, CT-7567 mumbled over his mashed potatoes, trying to overcome his repulsion over the texture.

Cody kept quiet, holding a fork in his hand, but didn’t start eating. CT-7567 kept his eyes on his food, refusing to let them stray away anywhere near Cody.

”Was it harder than the CT-classes?”

CT-7567 swallowed. ”I guess it was supposed to be.”

He looked up to see Cody’s smile widening. ”So it was easy?”

CT-7567 nodded and bit into his piece of bread.

He liked bread. If he could choose, he would only eat bread. It had minimum flavor, nice crunchy outside and soft inside, enough to chew on without breaking his teeth. He didn’t care for the butter, but it was more dry and harder to swallow without it, so he endured the saltiness and weird sliminess of it.

”Next class might be harder”, Cody said, chewing roughly. CT-7567 scrunched his nose a bit at the sound, highly disapproving of chewing and talking at the same time, but tried to not let his annoyance show. ”Just a heads up.”

CT-7567 nodded again, and finished his bread. He took his fork, but contemplated whether he actually wanted to eat the potatoes or the processed meat again.

”You don’t like it?”, Cody questioned, and CT-7567 shook his head slightly. Cody hummed, and before CT-7567 could even blink, he had swapped their trays. Cody’s plate was empty of meat and potatoes, only the bread and a few vegetables were left. CT-7567 opened his mouth but no words came out, so he settled on a baffled stare.

Cody smiled. ”You can have my bread.”

CT-7567 stared at it. It was untouched, unbuttered, perfectly sanitary.

”Thank you”, he said quietly, and took it between his fingers, biting into it. Cody nodded and ate the rest of CT-7567’s meal, and CT-7567 thought that if Cody wanted to sit with him in the future, to maybe trade his bread, then that wouldn’t be so bad.

——————

CT-7567 breathed raggedly and tried to keep the sobs in. He forced his arms to stay down, fists tightly gripping his pants, and stared at the ground to avoid eye contact with the trainer.

He had been screaming for a while. At first CT-7567 had listened, but then it became too unbearable and incoherent to make sense. Something about… about CT-7567’s shooting, or something. His nerves had failed him. He had failed his squad.

His squad that now stood completely silent in attention behind the trainer, looking at CT-7567 with pity.

It was even worse than annoyance or anger. He wished he could tell them to stop pitying him, he got enough og that from his batchmates and Alpha, but of course he couldn’t speak to them. They wouldn’t probably even want to hear it.

The trainer went quiet and barked something to someone behind CT-7567, and shoved him aside. CT-7567’s gaze didn’t move from the floor, everything was still blurred by the tears he was desperately trying to hold in, and the strange unreality he was feeling kept his eyes unfocused.

He felt like that often. Mostly when he was overwhelmed, when his heart beat too fast and his lungs didn’t get enough air and his brain just stopped working. And after starting the CC-classes, he felt like this more often.

Unreal. Out of touch. Disconnected.

He didn’t like the feeling of floating in the air, stranded. He didn’t mind the quiet loneliness of it, but he did mind the vulnerability. But he couldn’t break free of it and force his legs to move, or his arms, or his head. Not even his eyes. He just stood still.

Someone put a hand on his shoulder, and spoke directly into his ear, and a dark patch came to his vision. He tried to concentrate on it, but his eyes were too tired to do it, so he just stared ahead. Then, he felt someone grab his leg, and another, and heave him up on their back. CT-7567 laid his head on their shoulder, breathed in the scent of shampoo and sweat, and closed his eyes.

——————

CT-7567 did turns in CT-classes and CC-classes. It was for the best, the trainers had decided. He was too over his head to fully transition to the CC-classes, but still too skilled for the CT-classes, so really CT-7567 felt like he was being pulled between completely different dimensions.

The CT-classes were more boring and tedious, teaching all the things he either already knew or was so disinterested in that his brain couldn’t focus. Neither was a good thing, because if he already knew the answers, he was accused of cheating and was teased by his classmates for being a know-it-all, and if he didn’t focus, he was berated for not paying attention and was teased for being stupid.

Most nights CT-7567 went to bed in tears.

The CC-classes on the other hand were so quick-paced and chaotic that he had a hard time keeping up. His new CC-classmates all knew each other, knew where to go and what to do, and often hurried between places and left CT-7567 behind, on his own to find his way to the right class. He was scolded for being late, or for not knowing what to do, or for not understanding the assignments on first try. It often resulted in him running extra laps or getting more work to do, or punishing the entire class because of him.

On those nights too, CT-7567 cried himself to sleep.

——————

Cody seeked CT-7567 out after every class. Sometimes he got out early and was waiting outside CT-7567’s classroom, sometimes he was late and popped in to CT-7567’s secret hiding spot in the locker room.

”Hey”, he smiled, and CT-7567 eyed him over his datapad. He nodded his greeting and got back to reading.

”What are you reading?”, Cody asked, not losing his smile despite CT-7567’s attempt to ignore him, and sat down on the floor next to CT-7567.

”Something for class”, CT-7567 answered, and flicked to the next page. ”It’s hard.”

”Need help?”

CT-7567 read over the page, the letters and numbers floating around like leaves in water.

”Yes please.”

Cody hummed and took the datapad from CT-7567’s hands, lips puckered in thought as he read through it.

”Hm, math”, Cody made a tsk-sound, ”my least favorite subject. I’m not big on equations.”

”It’s not equations, it’s subtracting”, CT-7567 said, and Cody side-eyed him with a smirk.

”I did this class last year. I think I still remember how it’s done.”

”It’s important. You’re supposed to know how it’s done. Otherwise the Kaminoans have failed your education and you won’t get on the battlefield.”

Maybe he was being too harsh. But it was the simple truth, and the exact fear that corroded CT-7567’s mind every day. It felt good to say it out loud.

”Don’t worry CT, I know my way around math just fine. And don’t be so stressed about knowing every single subject: out there on the field you have your brothers and you work as a team and each member has their strength”, Cody said and handed back the datapad. ”So, you could find someone from your class to help you.”

A nauseating fear set in CT-7567’s stomach, and he shook his head, curled his toes and pulled his arms to his chest.

”No, I don’t want to.”

Cody turned to face CT-7567, and frowned. ”Why not?”

”They don’t like me.”

”What makes you say that?”, Cody lifted his eyebrows.

”They just don’t. Nobody ever likes me.”

”I’m sure they would if you gave them a chance.”

”I don’t want to. It’s too hard.” CT-7567 hid his face behind his datapad, the only shield he had from Cody’s piercing gaze.

”Why?”, Cody asked gently, and lowered the datapad. CT-7567’s fingers slipped, and Cody took it into his hands.

CT-7567 squirmed a little in his place and folded his hands, rubbing his left palm with his right thumb. ”I’m not normal. They’ve always said that. From my hair to my brains, I am different. And I always will be, and I’m not supposed to be. And- and it’s too hard, to get over it, because everyone is always going to see my difference. And I’m not- I’m not going to be like them, ever.”

Cody was quiet for a moment, staring at the ground in thought, until his eyes flickered to CT-7567’s hands and he frowned.

”Do you always do that?”

CT-7567 looked down at his hands, where the skin of his left palm was broken and bleeding on his fingers. ”Do what?”

”That. Skin picking. You’re bleeding everywhere.”

CT-7567 made his left hand into a careful fist and cradled it into his right to stop the blood from falling on the floor.

”Sorry. I’ll go to the medic”, he mumbled and got up, Cody following him in haste.

”Need me to come with you?”

CT-7567 wanted to say yes, he hated the medbay. But everyone else went there alone, without a problem, so he didn’t want to make it seem like he had a problem. ”No. It’s fine.”

——————

CT-7567 hated the training simulations, which made him hate the eventual war too.

”CT-7567, this is the third time”, the trainer scolded him over the intercom, for everyone to hear. CT-7567 glanced over at his squad, whose faces he could only imagine. ”From the fourth time you’ll be out the field.”

”Yessir”, CT-7567 struggled to keep his tone even, and breathed out. He blinked rapidly the hotness from his eyes, biting his cheeks to stop the tears from forming, and concentrated.

”Flank right!”, an order came, and CT-7567 moved his legs before his brains could keep up, so he stumbled a bit, but got behind the wall where his squad was waiting.

Neyo, Bacara, Wolffe and Gree.

”You alright, kid?”, Wolffe asked, and CT-7567 gave him a shaky nod. ”The orders come in fast, you gotta be moving before they even finish their sentence.”

CT-7567 had noticed that, and he didn’t like it at all. He didn’t like how quickly the orders were gone with no chance of repeat, and how he was reacting slower than the others. He tried to not think about the fact that if he didn’t manage this, he would be put back to the CT-classes. Which came with more cons than pros, just like the CC-classes.

So he’d have to try harder.

”Keep running north, avoid the enemy”, came the next order, and CT-7567 scrambled after his squad.

He kept Wolffe’s head in sight at all times, and with his vision somewhat higher than usual, he could see the enemy — a training droid — close in from the left. Wolffe kept running forward, and CT-7567 didn’t have the energy in him to open his mouth, so he jumped forward, without thinking.

The shot stung, but it wasn’t as bad as a real one would’ve been. So CT-7567 could get up on his feet almost immediately after the impact and let Wolffe shoot the droid. Wolffe grabbed CT-7567’s shoulder and pulled him behind a barrier.

”CT! Are you alright?”, Wolffe grumbled, and CT-7567 groaned.

”I’m- I’m fine”, his voice pitched a bit, ”it- it doesn’t hurt- anymore. Just stings a bit.”

”You need to get to the medbay.”

”No way!”, CT-7567 shouted, and Wolffe raised his eyebrows at him. ”We’re nearly there. And- you don’t just get to leave battle for a small injury.”

”We’re not in battle yet, kid”, Wolffe said, and aimed somewhere at the training field to shoot a droid, ”you still have the chance to leave.”

”This is a simulation, a practice, so- in practice, I’m supposed to practice being on the field, which means that I’m supposed to be practicing staying on the field.”

Wolffe’s half-smile returned momentarily as he chuckled. ”You’re insistent, kid. But trust me when I say that you want to savor these few moments when you’re still able to call it quits. Even a small injury can compromise the team. Just flag out.”

CT-7567 breathed. ”I don’t want to.”

Wolffe glanced at him, and frowned. ”This isn’t a debate anymore, kid.”

”You don’t get it! I am the only CT. I am supposed to prove my worth. I don’t get to just call it quits, if you CC’s can’t. I can’t be treated different in battle too! It’s not fair!”

Wolffe pulled him by the shoulder to the ground, and shot at a droid that had appeared behind CT-7567. He gasped as his bad leg hit the ground, and Wolffe pulled him back to sit.

”We’ll talk later. Now, you get out.”

CT-7567 wanted to scream, to object, to throw a punch maybe, but the pain became too unbearable. So he just faced the floor and nodded, shaking Wolffe’s hand off of his shoulder.

——————

”Skin picking again?”, Alpha walked into the medbay, and CT-7567 shook his head.

”I got shot.”

”How? You’re good at dodging”, Alpha said, and sat next to CT-7567.

”Well, Wolffe isn’t. So I jumped in front of him.”

”Heroic.”

”Cost me the battle”, CT-7567 mumbled, wiggling his feet around.

”There’ll be many more, don’t feel too bad”, Alpha smiled, patting CT-7567’s back. CT-7567 flinched and moved away from Alpha. ”Are you enjoying your classes?”

CT-7567 nodded. He wasn’t sure if ”enjoy” was the right word, or if he was even glad to be there anymore, but he liked some aspects of it. Or maybe just the one.

”I made a friend.”

Alpha’s eyebrows shot up. ”A friend? Who?”

”His name is Cody”, CT-7567 said, and Alpha’s face lit up.

”Ah, Kote”, Alpha nodded, ”he’s a good kid.”

”I like to think so.”

——————

”The CT is completely incapable.”

CT-7567 sat behind the lockers, holding back tears.

”He’s just a kid”, he recognised Bly’s voice, ”cut him some slack.”

”Exactly”, another brother said, backing Bly up. ”He’s a kid. He shouldn’t be on this class.”

Oh. Was that Bly’s point too? CT-7567 hated not knowing.

”Or what do you say, Cody?”, Neyo, CT-7567 guessed, asked with an insistent tone. ”You hover over him constantly. Saved him from that trainer too when he went into that weird catatonic freak out. What do you think about him?”

The corridor was silent for a moment, and he heard someone sigh.

”I believe in him”, Cody’s warm voice said, and CT-7567 bit his cheeks to not to cry. ”I think he has potential. He’s just… different.”

”Different, alright”, another one scoffed, and the others mumbled something. ”He’s a weirdo. Eating just bread, staring into space, making his hands bleed. Did you see when he completely froze and got blasted by a droid? And he’s supposed to be on the battlefield in a couple of years.”

The others hummed their agreement, and CT-7567 heard at least two different laughs. But by the sounds of it, Cody wasn’t having it.

”Quit it”, he said so loudly that CT-7567 had to cover his ears. ”He’s not a weirdo. He’s just different, and he’s our little brother, and we’re supposed to help him out. Stop being shabuirs and leave him alone, or we’re going to have a problem.”

”Alright alright, chill out Kote”, a strained voice whimpered, and after a loud bang, CT-7567 heard a set of heavy breaths. ”I was just saying. Why did they put him in our classes if he can’t handle it?”

”He can”, Cody said gravelly, and CT-7567 skittered around the lockers to get out of sight as they walked past the place he had been hiding at, ”it’s only been a few weeks. He’s tough. He’ll make it.”

”Without your help?”

”Eventually. And you are going to keep your mouth shut.”

——————

CT-7567 had been avoiding Cody. Despite his good intentions, he didn’t want Cody hovering over him, he wanted to make it on his own. He wanted to prove to those- shabuirs , that he was capable, and that he deserved to be in the CC-classes.

It was frustrating how much time it took, how many beratings and scolding he had to endure, but eventually CT-7567 pulled through.

He got through the simulation with his squad, and they were congratulated by the two trainers. The other one even dared to spare a smile.

CT-7567 was still a bit out of breath, but beaming from excitement and pride. He separated from his squad as soon as he could, so that he wouldn’t be victim to their pattings on the back, and put his training armor into his locker and ran off.

He didn’t know where he was going, but he started to feel like something was wrong.

Very wrong.

The pride in his chest turned into something heavy and suffocating, like burning liquid around his lungs, and he tried to keep the tears in until he’d make it to the bathroom.

He didn’t make it. His legs gave out right outside a CC-barrack, and he tried to breathe instead of sobbing, failing miserably.

He didn’t understand. He had succeeded. And he had been congratulated and praised. Why was he feeling like his chest had been ripped into a vacuum?

He heard noise coming from the other side of the door, and scrambled to his feet, just when the door opened to a familiar face.

”Oh hey, CT”, Cody smiled, and CT-7567 tried to desperately smile back, maybe for the first time in his life.

He tried to answer with a simple hello, but what came out was a restrained sob, a cough almost, and his legs wavered under him again.

”Woah, hey, what’s wrong?”, Cody asked and laid his hands on CT-7567’s shoulders, steadying him. ”What happened?”

CT-7567 tried to breathe, but his lungs refused to operate. He kept taking in breaths, but couldn’t bring himself to exhale, just long dragged whines that escaped past the lump in his throat.

”Hey! Hey, look at me. It’s okay. CT, look at me.”

CT-7567 didn’t want to look. He couldn’t stand the eye contact, and he couldn’t stand Cody. He didn’t want to be like this around Cody. Then the last and only person who had ever believed in him, would think he was incompetent, like everyone else did.

So CT-7567 resorted to closing his eyes when Cody tried to lift his chin to make CT-7567 look him in the eye. Cody spoke softly to him, something about sitting down, but CT-7567 pushed him away.

He wanted away. But he had no way out, nowhere to run. Just this corridor, and these lights, and these strong smells and odd noises and Cody. Everything was too loud, the air vents and the lights above and Cody’s breathing and the fabric of CT-7567’s clothes.

CT-7567 slammed his hands against his ears. Why was the world so loud?

CT-7567 let out a whine as he kept hitting his ears, and the world kept flickering in white and red as the noises kept getting more overbearing. Everything was too much, gathering in his chest and filling his veins and muscles with such intense energy that he felt like he was going to explode.

He felt something being stuffed into his ears. Something fluffy but rough. He let out a scream and tried to claw them out, but someone grabbed his wrists and put them on his sides. CT-7567 struggled against the tight hold they had of him, and fell backwards trying to escape. Someone caught him and he fell into a warm hug.

Whatever was in his ears, it quieted the world. CT-7567 breathed slowly through his mouth, his nose stuffy and eyes still closed, and he tapped the ground with his feet, his whole body vibrating. His arms were tightly squeezed against his chest, hands clinging to someone's arms wrapped around him, and CT-7567 was somewhat comfortable.

But he didn’t like being held.

He let out a whine and pushed away. Whoever was holding him, grabbed his shoulder and pulled him back, and this time CT-7567 melted into the touch. He was so tired. He didn’t know why, or what had happened, but he knew that it had made him tired.

He wanted to fall asleep against whoever was holding him, but forced himself to stay awake. He’d have to go soon. He’d have to compose himself, quickly.

He looked up, and was met with Cody’s warm eyes and soft smile, and he sniffled, hugging him tight.

Maybe he had known where to go, after all.

——————

”Are you alright?”, Cody asked, frowning in worry. CT-7567 put two breads on his tray, his and Cody’s, and Cody took his and CT-7567’s meat and potatoes, like always.

”I’m fine”, CT-7567 said and turned towards his table. It was always empty when he came to eat lunch, and it was almost as if everyone knew it was his table.

He guessed everyone wanted to avoid the weirdo.

”You sure? Yesterday was kind of intense”, Cody said, and sat down opposite of CT-7567, like always. He had seemed to completely discard his friends to be with CT-7567, and though he didn’t understand why, he liked to have company.

”I’m fine”, CT-7567 said again, and bit into his bread. Cody looked at him in worry for a moment, before turning to his meal.

They ate in silence, like always, and CT-7567 went over the newest book he had been reading, which unfortunately wasn’t for class: but all the more fascinating. He had found it browsing the facility’s library that morning, and had read it three times already. It was about dinosaurs. Just the name made CT-7567’s skin crawl and his stomach bubble in excitement. He had never heard of them, and had never even known there had been life on Kamino before the oceans, and he was beyond excited with this new information.

”Do you want to hear about dinosaurs?”, CT-7567 asked, and Cody lifted his head up. He glanced around the mess hall before smiling.

”Hit me.”

CT-7567 frowned. ”I’m not gonna hit you.”

Cody laughed. ”No, I meant- as in, go ahead. Tell me.”

CT-7567 lifted his eyebrows and let out a hum, fanning through his mind for something to begin with.

”Well, before Kamino was covered in oceans, it had land”, CT-7567 started, and Cody nodded. ”And on that land, about 65 million years ago, there were dinosaurs. They were reptiles, from the smallest prey to the largest predators, and they ranged from herbivores to carnivores.”

CT-7567 kept talking, reading the book from word to word, and Cody kept listening. He nodded at times, the smile glued on his face, and didn’t interrupt him once. For a moment CT-7567 worried that he was boring Cody, but he told him to keep going.

So he did, and got all the way to page 18, when Cody shushed him and frowned at something behind CT-7567.

CT-7567 turned around and his stomach twisted.

”Heard you had some episode last night”, Neyo said, and sat down next to CT-7567. CT-7567 squirmed in his place, glancing at Cody, who shook his head ever so slightly.

”What was it?” Bly questioned, and Cody frowned at him.

”It was nothing. Just a meltdown.”

A meltdown?

”A meltdown?” Bacara echoed CT-7567’s unsaid question, and Cody eyed CT-7567 for a moment.

”Yeah. It’s a response to overwhelming feelings or situations. It’s common with autistics.”

”A meltdown… like a tantrum? That toddlers have?” Neyo asked and scoffed at CT-7567. ”Aren’t you six already?”

”Leave him alone”, Cody said sternly, staring Neyo down. ”It’s not a tantrum. It’s a way to relieve stress. It’s not something they can control.”

Bacara hummed, eyeing CT-7567, ”So you have autism. That explains a lot.”

”Can you shut up?” Cody grumbled, and Bacara backed away a bit.

”I wasn’t trying to be mean. It does explain a lot. We just thought that he was a weirdo.”

”He still is”, Neyo said.

CT-7567 startled at the loud clatter of Cody’s tray as it hit the ground, followed by a scream as Cody’s quick paced hand curled into a fist and hit Neyo. Cody struck him right on the nose and the blood splattered everywhere, mostly on CT-7567’s clothes. CT-7567 yelped and jumped back, falling on the floor back first. He groaned and scrambled backwards, watching in horror as Cody yelled and Neyo screamed, Bacara and Bly tried to tear them away from each other, and other brothers from nearby tables joined the screaming.

CT-7567’s vision started burning with red stains and lines, spiking throughout the scene like shrapnels penetrating his eyes and making them bleed. He whined and covered his eyes with his hands to stop the colors from attacking him, but they still flickered in front of his eyes in tune with the yelling and horrifying thumps of fists hitting flesh. CT-7567 squeezed his eyes shut, pulled his legs to his chest, and started nodding his head up and down, covering his ears from the noise.

——————

Cody didn’t show up to classes for a while. CT-7567 was worried for him, but from the whispers he heard that he hadn’t been decommissioned. Just relocated away from Neyo.

CT-7567 wished he had been relocated too. He hated the classes now that Neyo’s nose was crooked and he was always glaring at CT-7567 as if he had been the one to throw the punches.

But CT-7567 had a new guardian. He supposed it was Cody’s doing, because he had never seen him in his life before, and he stayed back, just close enough to scare Neyo away but far enough to avoid CT-7567. He didn’t even know his name, but CT-7567 supposed as long as he was there to keep him safe from the others, he didn’t mind.

——————

”You’re back?” CT-7567 asked before he could bite his tongue. Cody smiled at him and patted his hair.

”You’ve grown”, Cody said, and CT-7567 scoffed.

”No I haven’t. It’s been three weeks and four days. People don’t grow that fast.”

Cody hummed. ”Must’ve been just the armor then.”

CT-7567 looked down at his new training armor, given to everyone in the more advanced CC-class. It was even more demanding than the first CC-classes CT-7567 had participated in, but the trainers had said he was ready. CT-7567 hoped so, since it was his first step to becoming an ARC.

And he was very excited about that.

”So you’re back?” CT-7567 asked again with a frown when he realized Cody hadn’t answered his question. Cody gave him an odd expression and sat down on the bench.

”Not exactly. I just have one class here, now that Neyo completed it.”

”So”, CT-7567 said carefully as he sat down, ”you’re not allowed anywhere near Neyo?”

”No”, Cody grimaced, but smiled as he looked at CT-7567, ”but that’s okay. The guy’s an asshole. He’ll grow out of it, but… maybe it’s for the best that we’re not in the same room.”

CT-7567 nodded and stared at the lockers. They sat in comfortable silence, one that CT-7567 had missed, and for the first time in three weeks and four days he felt content. The peacefulness that he didn’t think he could feel with anyone else except Cody washed over him and in the fleeting moment he could finally breathe.

Sometimes CT-7567 was utterly confused how Cody could be so different from his other brothers, but he was just happy Cody was there, so he didn’t care to think about it too much.

”Have you been doing alright?”, Cody asked and patted CT-7567 gently on the back. Ticklish electricity traveled through CT-7567’s spine and he flinched away from Cody’s hand.

CT-7567 shook the feeling away and nodded, lifting his eyebrows. ”I’m fine. There’s some new cadet hov- following me”, he corrected himself quickly, worried that he had exposed his eavesdropping: but Cody didn’t seem to notice, just nodded his head.

”Yeah, that’s Doom”, Cody said, and chuckled. ”He really lives up to his name. Nobody wants to approach him, so you’re safe. At least until his classes with you are over.”

”I don’t understand”, CT-7567 frowned, ”you asked someone to look after me?”

”Yeah, I thought that after the- um, unfortunate incident in the mess hall, Neyo would try to avenge himself, somehow”, Cody said. ”Just a precaution. Neyo’s kind of like that, he lives with the kind of eye-for-an-eye-mentality.”

”Eye for an eye…”, CT-7567 said thoughtfully, then shook his head. ”But, why would you do that? I got you in trouble. You could’ve- I don’t know, just… left me alone.”

”I would never do that, CT. I’ll always take care of you”, Cody smiled softly, and CT-7567 leaned against him without noticing it. ”Even when I’m not there.”

——————

Alpha glanced between Cody and CT-7567, genuinely disapproving.

”You can’t blow up at the medics like that, Kote.”

Cody squirmed. ”I know, Seventeen, but-”

”No buts”, Alpha grumbled and Cody snapped his mouth shut. ”They’re the medical professionals in charge of your health. Getting on their bad side is… not good.”

CT-7567 didn’t know if Alpha had decided to use milder language because of his presence, but he would’ve preferred if he didn’t. Words so vague left too much for his imagination.

”I’m sorry”, Cody mumbled, and nudged CT-7567 with his hand. ”They were being mean to CT.”

Alpha lifted his eyebrow at CT-7567 and his eyes wandered to his hands he was trying to hide behind his back. Alpha sighed and crouched down, opening his hands for CT-7567 to take.

”How bad was it this time?”, he asked gently, inspecting the work of the medics, and CT-7567 looked up at Cody.

”They gave him stitches.”

Alpha groaned and dropped his head, breathing in slowly. CT-7567’s vision blurred and his hands got hot, so he let go of Alpha’s hands to wipe his cheeks, and tried to fight a sob.

”I’m sorry Alpha.”

”I know, kid”, Alpha smiled up at him and patted his shoulder. ”It’s okay.”

——————

Cody stuffed CT-7567’s ears with something fuzzy that made CT-7567 want to rip his ears out. He screamed and squirmed in Cody’s tight hold, getting tired of the struggle, but refused to give up. The world was silent but the crawl and itch of his skin didn’t get any better, especially with Cody’s arms around him, burning his skin away.

No matter how much he screamed or kicked or tried to hit Cody, his tight hold of his arms and shoulders didn’t loosen, making it impossible to break free. CT-7567 felt so hopeless, and tired, that his sobs calmed into ragged breaths and he slumped against Cody’s chest. CT-7567 closed his eyes, the hot tears rolling down his cheeks and his entire body shut down.

CT-7567 didn’t know how long they were there, but Cody didn’t try to leave. He just kept the same tight hold of him, his head on CT-7567’s shoulder and breath warm against his ear. CT-7567 was utterly exhausted, his eyelids were too heavy to keep open and his thoughts were completely still. He couldn’t even start thinking about dinosaurs, it was all too overwhelming. The static in his head was louder now that the whole world was silent, and CT-7567 tried to remember a time when he hadn’t felt like this.

This was close to a routine by now. Unexpected and unpredictable meltdowns, followed with a shutdown. At any time of any day, CT-7567 would find himself on the floor fighting heaving sobs, his world filled with awful noise before the damned cotton in his ears could silence it. Then came the static.

He was getting tired of it. He couldn’t take it much more, but he didn’t have a solution, any idea for an escape from the overwhelming sounds and smells that crushed him beneath them. All he could do was let the emotions wash over him like a grand tidal wave and let Cody take care of the rest.

——————

CT-7567 wondered if this would last forever.

If talking would always be hard. If meeting new people would always feel like he was being suffocated. If he would always be too different from the rest to ever have friends. If he would always feel lonely, and isolated, and out of touch. If he would keep getting misunderstood, and judged, and ridiculed. If he was doomed to be the weirdo of Kamino, a freak, an outcast for the rest of his life.

If he would always feel like a stranger around his own brothers.

CT-7567 didn’t mind not fitting in. In fact, it was quite peaceful, he got to stay by himself and enjoy his own company, but he didn’t like how alienating it felt. He didn’t want it to last forever.

Forever is a long time, especially for a lifetime. That meant that his forever would last just until he died, and he didn’t want to die like this.

——————

”I hear you haven’t been doing well”, Alpha said with a soft smile. ”I know the cure for that.”

”What is it?”, CT-7567 asked tiredly, and closed his datapad. ”A brain transplant?”

Alpha chuckled, and offered him his hand. CT-7567 didn’t take it, but got up anyway. It was best to see what nonsense Alpha had come up with as quickly as possible, so he could get back to his book.

”There’s someone I want you to meet. His name is CC-1010.”

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