#cell arrays

[soumenatta]

In this tutorial, we will cover the basics of creating and using cell arrays in MATLAB, along with some examples to demonstrate their usefulness.

[sw5w]

Probe Droids Summoned

STAR WARS EPISODE I: The Phantom Menace 00:51:53

I added a bit of speculation to this, as the area above the engines appears to be a sealed rear viewport when compared with the shape of the front viewport. It would also correspond with the passenger seating in the cockpit (though the illustration shows the shape disconnected)

[gfl-neural-cloud]

Dear Professor,

The "Seaside Shades" 7-Day Sign-in Event will be available from Sep. 20th to Oct. 4th! Over this period, you can obtain Avatar Frame [Summer's Oceansong], Furniture Piece [Holiday Beach Umbrella] and other rewards by signing in consecutively.

[chuluoyi]

࿐ ࿔ 🕰️ 「 02:33 P.M 」

based on this video. this idea has been rotting in my brain for some while :') dad gojo will always have a soft spot in my heart <3

a part of gojo's love entries

your baby’s first trip to aquarium was such a cute affair you were sure you wouldn’t forget anytime soon.

“waaa~” your baby’s eyes were gleaming with wonder as he gazed at the diverse array of colorful fishes above him, completely captivated by the view.

and your husband...

“aren’t they pretty, hmm?” satoru asked his adorable son with a grin, pecking his cheek and holding him snugly in the baby carrier against his chest, with a backpack of baby essentials strapped on his back.

he was the very vision of a domestic dad, and along with your son, who was dressed in a bear onesie, complete with two little ears, they made a really irresistible pair. even you couldn’t fault the crowd for staring at them.

“fwaa! waa~” your munchkin was squirming with joy, his tiny fingers stretching out towards the sight before him. satoru giggled, moving closer to the glass to give his baby a better view.

“look! that’s clownfish! and those wiggly flowers are anemone! and that is—”

he faltered at a fish passing in his view before deciding, “this— i don’t know, but it’s the clownfish’s friend!”

they are basically the same. your little boy and your husband, both of them clearly shared a brain cell as they happily pointed out different fishes.

“meh! hehe!” your baby babbled away, excited and incredibly happy in his father’s hold, and satoru too seemed to feel the same, as his eyes beyond that sunglasses crinkled.

“damn, my kid is so cute.”

suddenly he dived down and pretended to chew his pumpkin’s chubby cheeks, effectively making him squeal in glee.

and oh lord, the way your heart skipped a beat seeing that. it was so clear how much satoru adored your baby, and it made overwhelming warmth rush to your chest.

“he’s a good man,” an elderly lady beside you suddenly remarked, making you turn to her. “not many men do that for their kids.”

“he is…” you agreed with a shy smile.

“it’s a shame that you only have one baby,” the elderly man beside her—possibly her husband—added. “you’re still young and he is so good with them too.”

your heart swelled and would’ve already burst if it was possible. bashfully, you thanked the elderly pair as they went on their way.

and along the way, you received similar hushed comments and adoring looks—

“oh my! their baby is so cute!”

“how can such family exists?! the dad, mom, baby… all three of them are so good-looking!”

“such a hot dilf! can’t he divorce his wife and marry me instead? i’ll be his kid’s stepmother gladly!”

satoru pretended not to hear, but he clearly held back his laugh. you threw the school girl who carelessly blurted that a pointed look, making her scurry away.

and after the three of you were done walking around the aquarium, you stopped by the gift shop to get your baby his first fish pet.

your son suddenly became fussy, and satoru unclasped him from the carrier. “hmm? do you want mama?” he handed him over to you. “here, here~ mama wants to hold you too~”

as soon as your son was settled in your embrace, he giggled, and you couldn’t help but bounce him and coo. “do you have fun? you do, don’t you?”

it might not visible to others, but now satoru was staring at both of his reasons of being with literal stars in his eyes.

several years ago, he thought his life had stopped when his best friend negated his beliefs entirely, but you were there, holding his hand throughout it all. and then you married him— and then, you gave him a son to dote on.

you keep giving his life a new meaning. and he was thankful for that.

. . . meanwhile, you kept hearing whispers from a gaggle of girls in the next aisle, about how much of a dreamboat your husband in his blue shirt was and it was grating at your nerves so much that you pursed your lips into a total pout.

satoru thought you were the cutest, not even second to his baby, and he decided he wasn’t known for public decency anyway so he dived in and pecked your lips—dispelling any stray thoughts and making you flush in an instant.

“sato—!”

and before you could rebuke him, he whispered in your ear:

“so... baby number two, when?”

[dandelionsresilience]

Dandelion News - February 15-21

Like these weekly compilations? Tip me at $kaybarr1735 or check out my Dandelion Doodles!

1. Solar farms managed for nature boost bird abundance and diversity, new study finds

“There were more than twice as many farmland birds in the well-managed solar farms compared with the intensively farmed land, and nearly 16 times as many woodland birds. […] Overall, diversity was 2.5 times higher, while woodland birds were nine times more diverse.”

2. Washington judge blocks Trump’s gender-affirming care ban, says it's unconstitutional in multiple ways

“This marks the second time in a week that a judge has stood in the way of Trump’s attacks on trans kids. [… The ruling grants] a temporary restraining order that halts enforcement of provisions in Trump’s directive that would cut off federal funding to medical institutions that provide gender-affirming care to minors.”

3. Fog harvesting could provide water for arid cities

“17,000 sq m of mesh could produce enough water to meet the weekly water demand of [… the] urban slums. 110 sq m could meet the annual demand for the irrigation of the city's green spaces. Fog water could be used for soil-free (hydroponic) agriculture, with yields of 33 to 44lb (15 to 20kg) of green vegetables in a month.”

4. Audubon Applauds Bipartisan Federal Effort to Protect Delaware River Basin with Critical Reauthorization Bill

“The bill would […] ensure long-term conservation and restoration efforts, expand the official definition of the basin to include Maryland, and prioritize projects that serve small, rural, and disadvantaged communities. […] The watershed provides important year-round habitats and critical migratory stopovers for approximately 400 bird species[….]”

5. mRNA vaccines show promise in pancreatic cancer in early trial

“Half of the people in the study — eight of the participants — responded to the vaccine, producing T cells that targeted their tumors. […] Just two of the patients who had a response to the vaccine had their cancer return during the three-year follow- up, compared to seven of the eight who did not respond to the vaccine treatments.”

6. Minn. Lt. Gov. Flanagan Makes It Official; She's running for U.S. Senate

“[Flanagan has] “championed kitchen-table issues like raising the minimum wage, paid family and medical leave, and free school meals.” If elected, Flanagan, a tribal citizen of the White Earth Nation, would become the first Native American female U.S. senator in history.”

7. Federal Funding Restored for Low-Income Alabama Utility Assistance After Outcry

“A program meant to help low-income Alabamians pay their utility bills has resumed two weeks after it was canceled due to an executive order from President Donald Trump. […] “We can confirm the funds are reaching those affected by the previous pause[….]””

8. Modeling study suggests Amazon rainforest is more resilient than assumed

“[Previous] studies were either conducted with global climate models that used a simplified representation of convection [or were on a regional scale….] According to the computations, mean annual precipitation in the Amazon does not change significantly even after complete deforestation.“

9. States are moving forward with Buy Clean policies despite Trump reversal

““Buy Clean is a great example of how states and other nonfederal actors can continue to press forward on climate action, regardless of what the federal government does,” said Casey Katims, executive director of the U.S. Climate Alliance, a bipartisan coalition of two dozen governors.”

10. The rewilded golf courses teeming with life

“A wildflower meadow, ponds, scrub habitat, coastline and even an area of peat bog can be found on this little 60-acre (24-hectare) plot, which boasts roe deer, otters, lizards, eels and a huge array of insects and birds.”

February 8-14 news here | (all credit for images and written material can be found at the source linked; I don’t claim credit for anything but curating.)

[electronalytics]

Solar PV and Wind Energy Market Overview, Demand, Key Players and Regional Outlook Study 2017 – 2032

Solar PV and Wind Energy Market Overview:

The solar PV (photovoltaic) and wind energy markets are crucial segments of the renewable energy industry. Solar PV harnesses sunlight to generate electricity, while wind energy utilizes wind power to produce electricity. Here is an overview of the solar PV and wind energy markets:

Types of Solar PV Systems:

•             Grid-connected Solar PV Systems: These systems are connected to the electrical grid and supply electricity to both residential and commercial consumers.

•             Off-grid Solar PV Systems: These systems are not connected to the grid and are typically used in remote areas or for specific applications such as powering telecommunications equipment or irrigation systems.

•             Building Integrated Photovoltaics (BIPV): BIPV systems are integrated into building materials such as windows, roofs, or facades, allowing them to generate electricity while serving as functional building elements.

Types of Wind Energy Systems:

•             Onshore Wind Energy Systems: Onshore wind turbines are installed on land, typically in areas with consistent wind resources.

•             Offshore Wind Energy Systems: Offshore wind farms are located in bodies of water, such as oceans or large lakes, and utilize wind turbines installed on platforms or foundations anchored to the seabed.

Key Growth Factors and Trends:

1.            Renewable Energy Transition: Increasing concerns about climate change and the need to reduce greenhouse gas emissions have accelerated the adoption of solar PV and wind energy as viable alternatives to fossil fuel-based power generation.

2.            Declining Costs: The cost of solar PV and wind energy systems has significantly decreased over the years, making them more competitive compared to conventional energy sources.

3.            Supportive Policies and Incentives: Government policies, subsidies, and incentives promoting renewable energy, such as feed-in tariffs and tax credits, have played a crucial role in driving the growth of solar PV and wind energy markets.

4.            Technological Advancements: Continuous advancements in solar PV and wind turbine technologies, including increased efficiency and improved energy storage solutions, have further contributed to market growth.

5.            Market Expansion: Emerging economies, particularly in Asia-Pacific and Latin America, are witnessing a rapid increase in solar PV and wind energy installations, driven by growing energy demand and favourable government initiatives.

Key Points for Development and Forecasts:

1.            Capacity Expansion: The solar PV and wind energy markets are expected to experience significant capacity additions, driven by increasing investments in renewable energy projects globally.

2.            Energy Storage Integration: The integration of energy storage solutions, such as batteries, with solar PV and wind energy systems is expected to gain traction, enabling better management of intermittent power generation and enhancing grid stability.

3.            Digitalization and Smart Grid Integration: The adoption of digital technologies and smart grid solutions will enable efficient monitoring, control, and integration of solar PV and wind energy systems into the overall electricity grid.

4.            International Collaborations: Cross-border collaborations and joint ventures between companies and governments are expected to foster technology transfer and drive market growth in different regions.

5.            Electrification and Decentralization: The electrification of transportation and the increasing focus on decentralized energy generation are expected to create new opportunities for solar PV and wind energy markets.

Analytical Overview of Solar PV and Wind Energy Market:

The solar PV and wind energy markets play a crucial role in the global transition towards renewable energy sources. Here is an analytical overview of the solar PV and wind energy markets:

Market Dynamics:

1.            Growing Renewable Energy Adoption:

•             Increasing concerns about climate change and the need to reduce greenhouse gas emissions drive the adoption of solar PV and wind energy as clean and sustainable alternatives to fossil fuels.

•             Government policies and regulations promoting renewable energy, such as renewable portfolio standards and carbon pricing, further stimulate market growth.

2.            Declining Costs and Technological Advancements:

•             Both solar PV and wind energy have witnessed significant cost reductions over the years, making them more economically competitive with conventional energy sources.

•             Technological advancements in solar PV modules, wind turbine design, and energy storage solutions have increased efficiency and performance, enhancing the attractiveness of these renewable energy options.

3.            Supportive Government Incentives:

•             Various government incentives, such as feed-in tariffs, tax credits, and grants, have encouraged investments in solar PV and wind energy projects.

•             Net metering policies, which allow consumers to sell excess electricity generated by their solar PV systems back to the grid, have also contributed to market growth.

4.            Increasing Energy Demand and Electrification:

•             Rising global energy demand, driven by population growth and economic development, creates opportunities for solar PV and wind energy to meet the increasing electricity needs.

•             Electrification trends, including the shift towards electric vehicles and the integration of renewable energy in heating and cooling systems, further drive market growth.

We recommend referring our Stringent datalytics firm, industry publications, and websites that specialize in providing market reports. These sources often offer comprehensive analysis, market trends, growth forecasts, competitive landscape, and other valuable insights into this market.

By visiting our website or contacting us directly, you can explore the availability of specific reports related to this market. These reports often require a purchase or subscription, but we provide comprehensive and in-depth information that can be valuable for businesses, investors, and individuals interested in this market.

“Remember to look for recent reports to ensure you have the most current and relevant information.”

Click Here, To Get Free Sample Report: https://stringentdatalytics.com/sample-request/solar-pv-and-wind-energy-market/6733/  

Market Segmentations:

Global Solar PV and Wind Energy Market: By Company

• RWE Group

• Enel Spa

• Xcel Energy Inc.

• ACCIONA

• Iberdrola

• EDF

• Vattenfall AB

• Tokyo Electric Power

• Tata Power

• Invenergy

• Innergex

Global Solar PV and Wind Energy Market: By Type

• Solar PV

• Wind Energy

Global Solar PV and Wind Energy Market: By Application

• Residential

• Commercial

• Industrial

Global Solar PV and Wind Energy Market: Regional Analysis

The Asia-Pacific region has been the largest market for solar PV and wind energy, with China as the biggest contributor to this growth. Other major countries in the region, such as India and Japan, have also been investing heavily in renewable energy, with supportive government policies and increasing demand for electricity. The region is expected to continue its dominance in the global market, driven by technological advancements, declining costs, and the need for sustainable energy sources.

Europe has been a key player in the global renewable energy market, with countries such as Germany, Spain, and Denmark leading the way. The region has set ambitious targets to reduce carbon emissions and increase the share of renewable energy in its energy mix. The solar PV and wind energy markets in Europe are expected to grow significantly, driven by favorable government policies and increasing public awareness of the need for sustainable energy.

The United States has been the largest market for wind energy in North America, with significant investments in the sector in recent years. The country has also seen a surge in solar PV installations, driven by declining costs and supportive policies at the state and federal levels. Canada has also been investing in renewable energy, with a growing market for wind energy.

Latin America has seen significant growth in the solar PV and wind energy markets in recent years, driven by supportive policies, declining costs, and increasing demand for electricity. Countries such as Brazil, Chile, and Mexico have been leading the way in the region, with ambitious targets to increase the share of renewable energy in their energy mix.

The Middle East and Africa region has been relatively slower in adopting solar PV and wind energy, due to the abundance of fossil fuel resources. However, the region has significant potential for renewable energy, and countries such as Saudi Arabia and the United Arab Emirates have been investing heavily in the sector. The region is expected to see significant growth in the coming years, driven by declining costs and the need to diversify energy sources.

 Visit Report Page for More Details: https://stringentdatalytics.com/reports/solar-pv-and-wind-energy-market/6733/  

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• To obtain insights into industry trends and dynamics, including market size, growth rates, and important factors and difficulties. This study offers insightful information on these topics.

• To identify important participants and rivals: This research studies can assist companies in identifying key participants and rivals in their sector, along with their market share, business plans, and strengths and weaknesses.

• To comprehend consumer behaviour: these research studies can offer insightful information about customer behaviour, including preferences, spending patterns, and demographics.

• To assess market opportunities: These research studies can aid companies in assessing market chances, such as prospective new goods or services, fresh markets, and new trends.

• To make well-informed business decisions: These research reports give companies data-driven insights that they may use to plan their strategy, develop new products, and devise marketing and advertising plans.

In general, market research studies offer companies and organisations useful data that can aid in making decisions and maintaining competitiveness in their industry. They can offer a strong basis for decision-making, strategy formulation, and company planning.

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[nasa]

This photo contains both flight (flat in the foreground) and qualification assembly (upright in the background) versions of the Solar Array Sun Shield for NASA’s Nancy Grace Roman Space Telescope. These panels will both shade the mission’s instruments and power the observatory.

Double Vision: Why Do Spacecraft Have Twin Parts?

Seeing double? You’re looking at our Nancy Grace Roman Space Telescope’s Solar Array Sun Shield laying flat in pieces in the foreground, and its test version connected and standing upright in the back. The Sun shield will do exactly what it sounds like –– shade the observatory –– and also collect sunlight for energy to power Roman.

These solar panels are twins, just like several of Roman’s other major components. Only one set will actually fly in space as part of the Roman spacecraft…so why do we need two?

Sometimes engineers do major tests to simulate launch and space conditions on a spare. That way, they don’t risk damaging the one that will go on the observatory. It also saves time because the team can do all the testing on the spare while building up the flight version. In the Sun shield’s case, that means fitting the flight version with solar cells and eventually getting the panels integrated onto the spacecraft.

Our Nancy Grace Roman Space Telescope's primary structure (also called the spacecraft bus) moves into the big clean room at our Goddard Space Flight Center (top). While engineers integrate other components onto the spacecraft bus in the clean room, the engineering test unit (also called the structural verification unit) undergoes testing in the centrifuge at Goddard. The centrifuge spins space hardware to ensure it will hold up against the forces of launch.

Engineers at our Goddard Space Flight Center recently tested the Solar Array Sun Shield qualification assembly in a thermal vacuum chamber, which simulates the hot and cold temperatures and low-pressure environment that the panels will experience in space. And since the panels will be stowed for launch, the team practiced deploying them in space-like conditions. They passed all the tests with flying colors!

The qualification panels will soon pass the testing baton to the flight version. After the flight Solar Array Sun Shield is installed on the Roman spacecraft, the whole spacecraft will go through lots of testing to ensure it will hold up during launch and perform as expected in space.

For more information about the Roman Space Telescope, visit: www.nasa.gov/roman. You can also virtually tour an interactive version of the telescope here.

Make sure to follow us on Tumblr for your regular dose of space!

[formulakracing]

“well that’s too bad” — k.r.

pairing -> kimi räikkönen x dcc!reader

word count -> {typed this one on my phone}

warnings -> banter, lots of flirting, some sexual innuendos, kimi being protective, the grid being a bunch of goofballs/down bad, some cursing, light pda

a/n -> this is a request based off of this ask! anon, i love you and thank you for sending in an ask so that i could write about one of my favorite drivers (can we also talk about long hair kimi like…) i hope y’all enjoy!

"who is that?"

a blonde peers around the garage, cocking his head as the figure strolls toward the row of paddocks. licking his lips, he folds his arms across his chest.

"i don't know, but whoever she is, she's gorgeous. absolutely stunning."

the object of sebastian vettel’s desire brings a phone to her ear, her plush lips parting, brow furrowing. whatever she was doing, she was deeply invested, as she stopped dead in her tracks to make the call.

the fellow drivers gather around the blonde, almost gawking. there was no doubt this woman was absolutely ethereal, the gentle rays of the morning sun accentuating her features. a pair of low rise jeans hung from her hips, a white long sleeve clinging to her torso. a luxurious purse hung from her shoulder, the bag accessorized with all sorts of trinkets and a bow.

the most striking aspect of her outfit was the pair of cowboy boots on her feet, the black leather worn from years of wear.

an interesting choice, especially in monaco, but it suited her.

she was regal, carrying herself with an aura that exuded dominance and grace. and to sebastian’s delight, she started to make her way in the direction of the red bull garage.

was she single? there sure wasn’t a ring on that left hand. but she could have opted to leave it at home, where it was protected from the public eye.

it was a gamble really.

and sebastian was more than willing to take his chances.

"do you think i could get her number?"

"you? please. you wouldn't stand a chance."

"come on nico," lewis hamilton, british driver for mercedes scoffs, rolling his eyes, "and you think you could?"

“well, i guess we could ask her if she’s ever been to paris—“

"you guys really know how to make me chuckle," another voice cuts in, his spanish accent seeping into every word, "a woman of that caliber? she probably wouldn't even look in your direction—"

"hi boys!" a chirp rings out through the red bull garage, "i'm looking for my husband. i tried calling his cell but i couldn't reach him. do y’all know where he is?"

her voice was sickeningly sweet, thick with the twang of an accent.

not just any ordinary accent.

an american accent, a drawl that sebastian only heard from one region of that country.

the south.

clearing your throat, you survey the array of men milling about in the garage. you recognize them all in an instant, as your husband had dotingly shown you photos over the years. before you stood fernando alonso, sebastian vettel, lewis hamilton, nico rosberg, and daniel ricciardo. an elite group of drivers, but they did not compare to the man you were searching for.

it wasn't even close.

you were looking for a finnish man, fair in complexion with fluffy, golden locks of hair. a hue that reminded you of sunlight pouring through the leaves of a forest. he was shorter in stature, but muscular, with piercing, icy blue eyes.

well, piercing to some, but to you, they were beautiful, brimmed with nothing but adoration and joy. often, you would gush to him about how his eyes were like the summer sky. he detested this, grumbling how they weren’t that special, but you could always make out a boyish grin, his dimples making an appearance.

taking a step back, sebastian studies you, gnawing on the inside of his cheek. as you give your name to nico, a bell rings in his head. he couldn’t quite place a finger on it, but it sounded familiar.

almost like he had heard it before. mentioned a few times, actually.

“who’s your husband?” fernando puckers his lips, placing his hands on his hips, “is he an engineer? a mechanic? part of the media?”

“he’s a driver.”

“a driver?” lewis’ eyes widen, “are you sure? we would remember one of our own bringing a woman like you around the—“

“will you all stop pestering my wife?”

a rumble from behind you earns a flinch from the drivers. swiveling on your heel, you feel your mouth curl into a dazzling grin.

“sugar! i’ve been looking all over for you! this place is a maze.”

sebastian can’t help but feel his mouth fall open as kimi räikkönen scoops you up into his embrace, squeezing you tightly against his chest. giggles erupt, bouncing off the walls as he peppers your face with kisses, a giddy squeal rising in your throat as he murmurs sweet nothings into your ear.

shaking his head, lewis almost can’t believe what he’s seeing, “you have got to be shitting me.”

“you’re telling me!” nico mutters, glaring at sebastian, he arches a brow, “is this the woman he’s been rambling about for months on end?”

“she is,” daniel clears his throat, finally finding his voice, “you guys didn’t put that together the second she started to speak? you can tell that woman has lived in texas all of her life. she’s wearing cowboy boots for fuck’s sake. you guys really amaze me sometimes.”

“well sorry we’re not all detectives like you!” fernando pouts, throwing his hands in the air, “we were all under the impression that—“

“the impression that i was just some helpless little bunny makin’ her way through?”

your snarky words cut through, sending a ripple of shock throughout the boys. their heads turn, pairs of eyes falling on you.

clicking your tongue, you raise a hand, pointing at sebastian, “y’all know it’s rude to stare, right? i could feel you watching me from a mile away.”

kimi wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you closer, “why didn’t any of you let me know she was here?”

“they thought i was single,” you can’t help but feel a smirk begin to grow as the boys stutter, scrambling to find some sort of response that wouldn’t set kimi off any further.

“well that’s too bad,” finding your hand, kimi intertwines your fingers together, “because you’re my wife. you guys hear that? she’s mine. off. limits.”

“heard you loud and clear,” fernando flashes the finnish driver a thumbs up, “my apologies, kimi.”

“don’t apologize to me,” kimi snorts, “apologize to her.”

as the boys hang their heads, you can’t help but feel a chuckle tumble out as they start speaking in unison, like some schoolboys being chastised.

“we’re sorry.”

“that’s better,” tugging on your hand, kimi motions his head in the direction of his own garage, “come on, my love. let’s go.”

peering over your shoulder, you shoot the group one last wink, scrunching your nose slightly. giving them all a wave, you blow a kiss.

“it was nice to meet y’all! but if you’ll excuse me, i would like to be with my husband. hopefully you’ll all fare better on the track than how you court women. bye now!”

and as you walk away, kimi brings your hand to his lips, pressing a tender kiss to the gentle skin.

“i love you.”

linking your elbow with his, you lay your head on his shoulder, your heart cozy with bliss.

“and i love you, ice man.”

and for the rest of the day, the ice man would bear a radiant smile.

a sort of grin the rest of the grid had never seen before.

and that was all thanks to his cheerleader.

his wonderful, talented, smoke show of a cheerleader.

the one who happened to be not just any cheerleader, but his wife as well.

and if anyone wanted you?

well, that was too damn bad.

[cheralith]

cw ; fem!reader, polyamorous relationship, poly!ryusae au

do NOT get it twisted!

shidou may be a freak on the outside but once he's in a relationship, that man is shackled down to the whims of cupid himself. a true loverboy at heart, he is genuinely the most loving thing on the planet if your heart is his, and in poly!ryusae au, he's got more than enough to share between you and sae.

initially, he's drawn to you because you just seem so sweet enough to break and destroy, assuming you were nothing more than a mere obstacle for him to weave his way around to get to sae, but when sae brings you to his practice and to his games more often, shidou eventually starts to see why you and sae have held it strong for the past few years. you're supportive and kind, always tending to sae's needs even if he insists he doesn't need it. you carry yourself with this quiet pride in the halls, one that doesn't falter even at the slightest test from others.

in the relationship, he's nothing less of cuddly and affectionate, always greeting you with a tight hug and peppering kisses all over your face when you come home. "how was my angel's day?" he'd ask immediately after, his ear always at the ready if you had any workplace gossip. enjoys cooking with you in the evenings with music playing from the speaker, sometimes whisking you away from the kitchen if a particular song played to dance with you.

it takes you awhile to actually get used to shidou's louder, more colorful display of love, since you and sae spent all those years with quieter affection, relishing in the smaller moments you shared. by no means were you uncomfortable, but it did take you a bit to get used to shidou's dynamic in comparison to sae.

perhaps the biggest difference was how they planned dates. sae preferred more private moments, like dinner dates or spa nights, shidou enjoyed more adventurous activities. he'll take you axe-throwing one day, or perhaps would favor in an amusement park for another, or maybe opt for couples' painting night. he brought a thrill to your life that you never knew about and you cherished every grain of it.

loves loves lovesss words of affirmation and physical touch. adores showering you in an array of kisses at any given moment and insists on always having at least one piece of skinship between you and him. his library of petnames range from "sweetness" to "princess" to "lovebug", and you can't quite remember the last time he actually called you by your actual name (sae taunts you in saying maybe he doesn't remember it. you swat at him every time he provokes you with the idea).

practically begs you to give him a good luck kiss on his cheek before a big game, wanting to show off your lipstick's kiss mark to the rest of the world, but sae erases it before the cameras catch a glimpse of it, not wanting their publicist on their asses.

regardless, shidou loves and adores you and sae so much that even the mere thoughts of you and him strike his cells with excitement. he's yours, and he'll be sure to announce it to the whole world once you're ready.

[shitpostingsapphic]

"I hate Caitlyn because of the system she represents. I'm so tired of people acting like we can'thate her for that."

Let's have a long, hard talk.

This argument IS made in direct comparison to the oppressive systems we see in real life, so let's first talk about how Caitlyn compares to real world oppressive systems, her faults and the ways she fails the people she serves, and then let's talk about how you're just fucking wrong about her and how you hate the wrong character.

Caitlyn is an enforcer. Stating the obvious. She is a member of a larger system she chose to be a part of, because she wanted to serve the people. She was ignorant of the system's corruption as we see throughout season 1. Her initial intentions with becoming an enforcer are because she wants to fight injustice, defy the stuff politics of Piltover that she was raised under, and have her own identity.

At the end of season 1, several things happen to Caitlyn. She is abducted naked from her home, held hostage for at minimum 24 hours, during which time an array of things could have happened to her but of which we know for certain left her TERRIFIED of the young girl with blue hair she was abducted by. She watches that same girl fire an explosive that kills her mother. Preceding this, she has been witness to the ways Silco has harmed the people of the undercity and how he had the enforcers in his pocket in order to do it. Ekko explicitly tells her this. He tells her how Silco has ruined lives and how the enforcers were the manpower that let it happen.

Caitlyn walks away from season 1 changed in many ways. She is brokenhearted and traumatized, but still holds a strong desire to protect the innocent people of both cities. Because of who she has been up to this point, her belief is that she can rectify the wrongs by using the power of her position to do good instead of aid corruption. Her asking Vi to become an enforcer to do as much is in bad taste, yes. Which she later apologizes for and takes ownership for. That doesn't remove the good intention behind it. And it doesn't negate that Vi can later see the logic behind it. Being able to take control of a bad situation and use that power to do good instead of abusing that power to do bad, is an incredibly shaky but important position to be in. And the whole point of Caitlyn's character is how she navigates that--can she use her position to do good? As per GOOD WRITING, she's not going to get it perfect until she learns and grows.

We can acknowledge the moral ambiguity of using the grey, how it does harm, while also acknowledging the WAY it was used and for what purpose was both smart, economical, and GOOD. Doing bad things for good reasons. That's what the use of the grey was.

I'm not going to get into the memorial much, but all I will say for that, is it's an excellent example of people twisting Caitlyn's words and underselling the pain she's going through. If you can't acknowledge the right Caitlyn has to be upset at the people who just violently disrupted a memorial for mourning the loss of loved ones, I don't think you care to have a conversation about the humane treatment of others. And using Caitlyn's anger and grief as a "see?? She hates Zaunites!!" is so fucking stupid I'm not going to entertain an argument for that.

Caitlyn's setback is her trauma, her ignorance, and her heartbreak. She still isn't a fully realized character throughout most of season 2. She's learning and growing and unfortunately that is at the expense of the people she lords over while enforcing martial law. But if we acknowledge that, we also have to acknowledge the ways she changed the system so that needless suffering and punishment didn't happen. Confronting Ambessa when violence is used unlawfully. Improving the prison food and banning the use of the most inhumane cells in Stillwater. Bare minimum? Yes. But still ways she showed that she saw the Zaunites as humans and not as flesh covered problems the way Salo does. Not as problems to get rid of the way Ambessa does.

If the reason for your ire is because Caitlyn is a figure in a corrupt system, then your hatred is misdirected. The point of Caitlyn is to show the ways the system needs to change, and how the people within it who want to do good can often be misguided, but that doesn't mean they aren't good people or that they can't do good within their position.

If you fundamentally disagree with that, there isn't much of an argument to be had, but I will say that your ire is still misdirected.

I never see you guys discuss Salo or Ambessa.

Salo represents true bigotry in the system. It's a position he maintains all the way up to when his mind is commandeered by Viktor and the hexcore. Salo is the type of person who functions on confirmation bias--he already has a prejudiced view of Zaunites, and will use any opportunity to say "see? Told you so! We should put them down." Compared directly to how Caitlyn talks about them, asks Vi to help fix the system, fights against the system going too far, actively makes adjustments to change the way the system treats Zaunites, the claims that Caitlyn is a bigot don't hold up.

Ambessa IS the system. She IS the oppressive force that indiscriminately will take and take and take and sees violence as a tool and not a consequence to be avoided at all costs the way Caitlyn does. And for some fucking reason, no one who criticizes Caitlyn gives any weight to Ambessa's actions, ever. They don't discuss the way she manufactures the attack on the memorial to manipulate public opinion on Zaunites, as well as manipulate Caitlyn. They don't discuss how she sets Caitlyn up to be pressured to take the position of Commander and uses her grief, promises her justice, in order to warm Caitlyn to her and keep her as an ally, a pawn she can use. They don't discuss how she sent Maddie to be a spy, to be in Caitlyn's bed and to be as intimately close to her as possible, to make sure Caitlyn still was behaving the way she needed in order to see her plan through.

When discussing the manipulative, exploitative, and violent nature of oppressive systems, Caitlyn has become the scapegoat, when it is people like Salo and Ambessa who deserve your blame and your ire.

You wonder why people don't take your complaints about Caitlyn seriously? That's why. Because the show gave you very bold examples of oppressive individuals in control of the systems you hate, and you ignore both of them for the sake of hating on a beloved lesbian character, who is beloved because she is flawed and good natured and whose journey we enjoy because it's all about learning what to do when you're within a system that pulls you at every direction to do evil, and you still find a way to do good.

Do some more think pieces on Salo and Ambessa. Then maybe we can have nuanced discussions on Caitlyn.

[user946468]

Hii, I noticed that you take requests! I was wondering if maybe you could write about reader finding out that Chishiya got shot in season2 ep7 and how she would react when she finds him? Thank you so much if you write it!

Can you see me now? | Chishiya Shuntaro x Reader Oneshot

Helloo! Thank you so much for the request, I hope it meets your expectations<3 Also I apologize, i got carried away lol, It also might be a little different than you anticipated - but regardless I hope you like!

Fluff than Angst mixed with Fluff than Angst. WC - 5,403 words

Disclaimer, this is not connected to my ongoing fic so the reader will act differently and the readers story line with change -nonetheless, please enjoy! (Also this might be out of character?? Idk i tried)

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When clothed pads of feet made their way down the hall you shot a quick smile over your shoulder, each of your hands carrying a warm plate. Chishiya nodded silently back in response, he never did fully stare you in the eye's during the morning. He stopped for a second, leaning into the door frame so he could tug his sweats back down over his ankle - it must had rid up his calf sometime in the night.

Huffing in amusement, you waited for him to take a seat at the table before pushing the plate of food towards him.

You meet Chishiya during the Jack of Hearts game.

Or rather, you knew him through Ippei.

You had joined the Hearts game far earlier than necessary, it was the first blimp you came across while running from the array of bullets and reluctantly, with tried limbs and a desperate need for coverage - joined the game. The stone walls were cold, and your jaw clenched when the cells bars came into view - everything about the situation was eerie, the hovering couple that eyed your every step just made it worse.

For awhile it was just you and them.

You stood on the opposite end of the floor.

One by one the group increased in size, everyone very different than the next - observing the situation as time passed is what pushed you to introduce yourself to Ippei, he was shuffling his weight on each foot and stood alone in a dark corner, eyeing everyone like they were a snake about to strike out.

Poor kid looked like he was about to bolt for the door or pass out at any moment.

You were naturally an anxious person, and maybe that's why you sympathized with him enough to talk to him - or maybe his skittish behavior was making yourself increasingly nervous.

He was shy, and timid - and he seemed to appreciate your appearance more than you anticipated. And so you stayed, killing your boredom and the mans nerves simultaneously - he talked about his animals back home, you shared details about yours and encouraged him to talk about his hobbies he deemed were too "childish" to share.

You left some time in between, after Ippei lightheartedly declined your invitation you sought out the building - multiple gendered bathrooms, dozens of cells, and a room stocked with in-date food. When you came back with a large bag of cookies, Ippei was talking with someone.

Someone new.

He had shoulder length bleached hair, and dark hooded eye's, so much so they almost looked pitch black at first glance - and he was staring at you. Cause Ippei was motioning at you to join them, and for a moment you almost walked away. He was a lot more intimidating than Ippei, and the difference in dynamic mixed with the clear fact that he had to come up to Ippei first is what worried you.

And yet you still moved to their direction, and you still held out the opened bag towards Ippei, and he still took it with multiple thanks, because of course he did, and you even held the package out to the blond. A silent "please don't kill me" undertone followed your actions.

With a shallow breath, he hummed and grabbed a small handful - much to your surprise, and thankfully didn't threaten you in any way. Who would have known cookies could save your life?

And that was it. For the remainder of the game you two passed cookies around and didn't kill each other. Not when people grouped up, slowly taking turns in betraying each other, not when you stood silently by Ippei's cell, never daring to look in- Chishiya even had the decency to stand next to you for a few minutes, before turning around and walking away without either of you sharing a word.

When the game ended you followed him silently.

"..Can I come with you?"

"No."

And yet still, your footsteps followed behind his in sync, he knew you were there without having to turn around.

"Please?"

Chishiya sighed, "If your going to follow me anyways, why ask?"

"Common courtesy."

You picked up on the undertone of re-direction Chishiya tried to send your way- taking sharp turns and even pointed out a flock of pigeons that seemed to enjoy humans more than most- but you were in no rush. You stayed behind and stared at the pigeons for a while until you got bored, and until Chishiya was out of sight to start following his fresh footprints made in the dusty road.

When you saw he was rummaging around a convenience store, quite close to where he left you, you deemed he couldn't have minded you following him all that much if he stayed in a vicinity he knew you could find him at.

And that's how you ended up staying together, with Chishiya letting you tug him around to find a vacant house next to a clean stream, you gracing the house with a generator that works with solar power. If Chishiya was honest, it was about as convenient as the Beach, and considering the lack of Niragi - maybe even better. And, possibly, that's why he stayed.

With a high eyebrow he glanced between you and the plate set in front of him, completely un-moving he asked, "What's this?"

You wanted to roll your eyes. It was, by far, not the first time you've cooked for the man sense you've started to share the house together. It's not like you were doing this out of the goodness of your heart, for one it would be a shame to not use the house for what's its worth, and two it took your mind off.. well everything. And without fail, every time you've presented him with a plate, or a bowl, or a cup of coffee - he always acts likes you just placed a bomb in front of him.

Setting your own plate down, you sit across from him and make an attempt to match his unimpressed expression, you accidentally (very purposeful) kick at his shin under the table. "Sprinkle pancakes."

"I know that," he grumbles out after a inhale of a hiss, you are given a sharp glare, "But why?"

You shrug aimlessly, "You lack whimsy in your life."

Chishiya accepted that answer, all though he huffed audibly enough to make it known he was displeased by it.

Chishiya doesn't fully understand you, you both knew that - and your not sure if that was entirely a bad thing. He questioned why you cooked for him, why you followed him, why you would willingly live with him when you would obviously be fine alone, I mean you've gotten this far by yourself haven't you? And all he got in response were shrugs, or half assed answers that didn't really mean anything - and if you were honest, your still haven't figured that out yourself. Not why you helped him, but why you helped him specifically.

What you did know is that you didn't like being alone - which you did tell Chishiya, and he wasn't bad company to have - so you decided to keep him around. After all, it's not like you left him much choice.

Through a mouth full of pancake he muttered behind a napkin, "I'm going out today."

You eye'd Chishiya for a moment, as non compliant as he acted around your cooking he always seemed to have a large appetite for it. Cleaning his plate every time without fail, finishing it in the same ten minutes you put it down - and at least five of those minutes are spent making sure his mouth and hands are as clean as possible. At least if you have leftovers you know they're never going to waste.

"Thank god," you say, "It's getting boring around here."

"You're not going."

You scoff, Chishiya has a knack of not wanting you to go anywhere with him, no matter the circumstance.

"Chishiya, don't be so prissy." You scold, pointing an accusing fork his way - your insult didn't stop him from taking another bite, drenched so heavily in syrup you scrunch your nose up. It can't even taste like a pancake at that point.

"You're a hassle."

“Your ass is a hassle,” you retaliate, and when Chishiya stood up with an empty plate and walked passed you to the kitchen - you waited for the perfect moment before snapping a kitchen towel at him - just a little too far down his torso to even be consider his back anymore.

When he looked back you were innocently chewing down your last bite and staring at him questioningly, a hand towel laid limply on the other side of the room. The speed Chishiya spun around in was almost comical, your not sure your ever seen Chishiya move that fast willingly sense you've meet him.

"You're also childish."

Through his glare you could swear you saw just a flicker of a smile, a huff of amusement.

You let out an airy chuckle, "Can't deny that," A huff escapes your lips when you slump into your chair, you pause with your cup inches from your mouth and scan Chishiya.

"But you know, I need to go." You state, "I need a restock, and by the looks of it you could do with a bar of soap or two."

You knew what you were doing, and he knew it too - self care and whatever D-I-Y mechanical shit Chishiya was looking for were on opposite sides of the mall, therefor whenever you ran out, he was more willing to let you come along. Not that you need his permission, or that you'll listen to him anyway.

Chishiya dwelled for a few seconds - you could only assume wonder if you coming along or you complaining about him saying no was worse - although he's taking longer to contemplate than usual, and it made you wonder if this time he was actually being serious - but he nodded before you could take it back.

You tilt your head slightly in thought.

"You could do with an exorcist," he mumbles, taking your empty plate from the table, he looks thoroughly done when you huff out a sarcastic, "Wow, unbelievable, and here I thought we were friends." You decided to keep quiet after that, considering he looked a few seconds away from throwing your plate back at your head - or maybe that was always how his face looked.

While Chishiya made his way back to the hallway, you noticed he used both his hands to cover his backside from you - you had to hide a laugh behind your hand. For the sake of your life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The street laid empty, bare before you. No people, no animals, no man made noises - nothing except Chishiya and your own footsteps. And so you let him appreciate it, the only time you spoke was when you asked earnest questions or were responding back to his little quips towards you.

"Do you always walk this fast?"

"Obviously your warm, your wearing a jacket in eighty degree weather. I didn't point it out cause I thought it was just another one of your weird quirks."

"Can you not walk straight?"

"Why are you touching everything? Can't keep your hands to yourself?"

Most of the time you wonder why Chishiya even bothers - what does he get out of staying with you? If you know what your looking for you can find a duplicate generator, there are many other open stream and vacant homes to pick and yet he stays in the one you choose - with you - and engages in conversation and eats the food you make.

You have given him multiple chances at leaving, as persistent and prodding as you can be you both new it was mocked-up for your own amusement and that you wouldn't cry or beg for him to stay - he knew that, and yet he doesn't leave. And maybe it's just one of those things you don't ask aloud, and so you never have.

Twirling a small flower between your fingers you lead a few steps in front of Chishiya, while walking backwards - you had asked him to throw something at you if there was anything behind you just encase, after all you knew he wouldn't have taken it up if you just asked him to just tell you instead.

You squinted at the plant while holding it up towards him, pearly white petals that matched his jacket and textured line that matched his hair, you smiled - yup, that's the one.

"What are you doing?"

"I got you something."

You jogged the short distance and held your hand out, his eye's followed to where your fell - his nose scrunched up.

Chishiya held it between two fingers, dangling by a single petal he asked, "What am I supposed to do with this?"

You scowl at him, how ungrateful, "Sleep with it, tape it to your mirror, braid it into your hair-" you sarcastically remark, one foot after the other you stepped backwards, "-or you could be a normal person and just keep it."

"Why would I keep-"

As soon as your heel felt the jagged fall of your foot you knew what was coming, your body instinctively let out an 'oofh' sound when falling ass first down onto hard concrete.

You hissed sharply.

A pointed rock dug harshly into your skin, it prodded so hard into your muscle your sure it left an indent and Chishiya - the bastard - laughed.

A real laugh.

The first you've ever heard come out of the man, so much heavier than his usually light huffs of breath he lets out - and of course, it was at that.

Chishiya plucked a petal off the flower, and made an exaggerated 'throw' motion of it at your fallen figure.

"You're a bitch. Did you know that?”

Chishiya shrugged, a light shake of his shoulders still lingering from his laugh.

You followed up with strings of cuss words, having to help yourself up and rub out the pain in your hip - before turning around you notice Chishiya's finger loosen around the stem.

"If you drop that I'm killing myself."

Chishiya snorts, "Promise?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From the first gun shot you already had a grasp of who it involved.

You were still inside the mall, searching around for more toothpaste and gauze - you even stocked up on a few unscented bar soaps to humor Chishiya. He had left you as soon as you too set foot in the mall, turning a sharp corner and mumbling out a "If you need me, don't."

By the time your brain even registered his comment he was too far gone to hear you comment back, you had to retaliate by flipping the back of his head off. Not as satisfactory, but it'll do.

It was uncannily quiet - just like always, and there was an uncomfortable tense of your body when the shot rang through the air. It echoed around the mall is waves, a mock sound in your ear - It made you stop your hand mind air, and for a second you didn't breath. A single shot, nothing like the kind of spades - your jaw tensed painfully.

A minute of silence, than another, and a another-

A second shot, a third, a fourth- you craned your neck to the window, to your irritation it was completely useless, covered in layers of muck and mold - your mind raced.

What were the chances Chishiya was stupid enough to get in a gun fight?

If you were wrong about him being involved, would you be willing to putting yourself at risk for the chance of his life being on the line? You thought back to his comment, if you need me, don't, did that also apply to you? Would he look down on you for reassuring yourself that he was okay?

Your eye's danced around the empty room, anxious and heavy breathed - in a split second you decided that it wouldn't matter what Chishiya thought about you if he was dead.

With heavy foot steps you jogged through the store, and out into the central building- faster than you would ever admit to him - and scanned the area hopefully. If Chishiya wasn't involved there would be a high chance he would wan't to be, or at the very least watch - you swallowed heavily, and tried to remind yourself to relax your jaw. The pounding of your lungs go unnoticed.

Chishiya wasn't here.

By the time you hesitantly peer around the entrance - hidden enough to jump back if you were threaten by another round of shots- it was silent, there was no sound to be made out, just the wind whistling in your ears. No heavy gunshot, no loud commotions, just.. nothing.

And if it wasn't for the sight of two figures, crouched down a few yards away you would have thought that you were going insane - the gunshots a fragment of your imagination- hell, in that moment you wouldn't be surprised if someone told you that Chishiya was too.

You let yourself slip from behind the frame, just far enough to squint blindly at the two. Neither of them were blond, which was a good sign - and your pulse should have calmed at that or the weight should have at least eased off your shoulders but instead it only made you glance around more frantically, throat clenching around itself tightly.

This was not the time to be playing fucking hide-and-seek.

Where the hell was he?

Unconsciously you took a few steps forwards, trying to seeking out every inch of ground before you - eyes scattered on around the road, at cars, in buildings- "Aw, shit."

For a moment, you were more worried you snapped your neck from how fast you turned your head rather than the man in front of you - although it was very short lived. Crumpled and bloody, fresh wounds mixed in with old scars that ran along his body - was he even properly alive?

The thought of helping him crossed your mind, although you didn't know who he was or why he was sprawled on in the middle of Tokyo street you did know that you had gauze - and a lot of it.

You paused to toe the gun away from him carefully.

He eye'd you for a second, than followed your line of sight to his wounds. He tilted his head back, just enough to stare into your eye's, a slight scowl burned on his lips- there was something familiar in his eyes. A certain vacant dullness in his stare at briefly reminded you of Chishiya - the mans scowl depend, dared you to say something. About his gunshot wound or his scars you didn't know.

Trying to find the words to say your head nodded, an almost frantic side to side motion, "Uh-"

A firm but uncharacteristically soft call of your name, and if you had time to decipher it you would almost say it sounded desperate. Throat muscles tensed as you swung your head around, tendons straining and yet you couldn't care - if you kept this up your head might as well just fall off.

"I would get away from him if I was you." Chishiya called, laboring his limbs to to try and sit up - his elbow shook underneath him before collapsing all together, he would have headbutted the ground if the boy with black hair wasn't holding him up.

A dark gradient of a hole bled through his shoulder.

"You know that piece of shit?" His voice was broken, raw and scratchy - his sentence broke in the middle, words coming out though gargles - and yet he seemed determine to finish it.

"Unfortunately," You croak - and after the initial shock still of your limps your feet dragged you forwards on autopilot, eye's that never left the pit that hallowed through his chest. You blindly searched through your jacket pocket - it was so unnatural to see Chishiya in such a state, one that left him vulnerable and raw, one you thought you would never get too see - you pulled out a large wad of bondage wrap, inhaling through your mouth when you felt your nose has become too restrictive of air.

It was even weirder having Chishiya openly stare at you while like that.

"Long time no see."

It was spoken through a breath, airy and light - his throat barley vibrating enough to be making any sounds at all. He was looking at you, or some place on you, you couldn't tell - he was bleeding and it was runing through the seeps of a hand and staining his jacket, his favorite jacket and you know it'll be a pain to scrub off and your don't remember the last time you took a full breath and Chishiya hissed when you tightly held the gauze to his wound - the girl moved her hand early on when she saw your attention to the wrap not touching the ground. What good will he be too you if he dies from an infection later on?

"Shut the fuck up."

"You this rude to every dying man?"

You held the gauze tighter, how could he be joking right now? With your hands desperately trying to hold his life intact? You glared at him through heavy lidded eyes, "Chishiya."

He grumbled something about you being 'no fun' under his breath, but hey, at least he was saving it.

"You're y/n?"

It was the girl, she had soft eyes and bloodied hands - blood of Chishiya's, warm, fresh blood that spilled onto the gauze, gauze that laid fisted in your hands - you blinked dryly. Your eyes stung and yet nothing was coming out of them - you swore it felt like someone was prodding around your brain from the inside.

You nodded silently, you didn't want to know how she knew your name or where she heard it from.

"You're doing this all wrong you know," Chishiya mumbles, his head still laid limply on the ground but now it was tilted at an angle he could see you at, "At this rate I'll be dead any minute now."

The word 'dead' bounced around in your mind like a ping pong ball, hitting each nerve that shortens your breath, and now you couldn't even come up with a snarky reply - you were half minded to tell him to shut up again, to save his breath - but all you could do was desperately push down a little harder on his wound, stack the gauze a little taller.

"Chishiya, I don't know what I'm doing, I-" You followed the strings of blood that fell in thick drops down is torso, they way they seeped through the bright clothes and the way his eye's seemed to soften ever so slightly around the edges wen you gave him a pleading look.

He couldn't die here, not like this, not by your inexperienced hands - not in a way so far from how anyone would've imagined it.

Chishiya huffed, but it wasn't malicious, "First off, you could calm down, I heard breathing helps-"

"Run!"

Guns shoots fire through the empty street, this time multiple - this time you knew it was the king of spades. Your flight or fight instinct kicked a small, fleeting thought to run, to save yourself, to shield from the bullets - but you ears were already ringing, and your hands were already stained and you knew you could escape - but Chishiya?

An amused grunt turned into one of surprise, than into one of pain - and you had to shift your entire body weight to lift Chishiya to sit up, one hand still occupied with putting pressure on his wound. You felt fidgeted, and you knew you were still slightly dazed but it didn't stop you from trying to shift Chishiya to hide behind a rusted car - one near a narrow alleyway that you thought would barricade the too of you.

Someone helped, weather it was the boy or the girl you didn't pay any mind too, but you mentally thanked whoever it was - maybe you shouldn't have been feeding him all those fatty meals after all. The position was awkward, and pulled at your joints in ways you didn't know your body could go - but it worked, a narrow miss of bullets shot a little too close to your head.

After some time the person left, and you clumsily pulled off your jacket to try and help aid Chishiya just a little more - thankfully when you glanced his way his eye's were still open, drowsily - but opened nonetheless. With a calculated pressure you knew would stop the bleeding, and yet not hard enough to harm him any worse, you pushed with one arm - another round of bullets, you feel beside him. A mix of mental and physical exhaustion assisted in pushing you down.

Another round of bullets, you brought your knees to your chest, a scream, you covered your head with your free arm - you were practically cuddled up to Chishiya, fresh blood stained your pants.

None of you spoke, both of you waited.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were alive.

The both of you were, and finally it was quiet. The same quiet that flooded around you just hours before, when Chishiya wasn't bleeding out and you were of sound mind. You felt stitched in positions, never removing your head from you lap and staring blankly into the small shadow that loomed under you, your jaw itched with tightness - and whenever Chishiya's breath got a little too shallow, too lifeless for your liking you pressed a little harder and waited for his breath to hitch - this time it didn't.

Your breath caught in your throat when you looked up - his head lolled to the side, eye's closed and chest unmoving - and you panicked. Blinking rapidly you snapped in front of his face - no response - you shook his shoulder harder than you knew he would let you while alive- no response - you palm etched out, coming down with a loud 'wack' as it hit his face, his lead shifted to the other side lazily. No response.

Your nails dug crescents into your palm and you tried to swallow but your throat wouldn't let you, you were just vaguely aware of the small huff of desperation you let out before moving to strick your palm back out, his name on the tip of your tongue-

"Ow."

A heavy breath feel from your mouth, one you weren't aware you were holding.

"You asshole!" You snarled, falling back on your heels. "I thought you were dead."

Chishiya's eyes fluttered open passively, "Odd reaction to a dead man."

If he wasn't already on the brink of death you would've killed him.

You finger curled tighter into a fist, palms still lingering with the force of the slap - dejected you fell back beside him, even with your hand covering your nose your small sniffle could be heard - in fact it seemed to be intensified by the open area. Hair hiding your face, you looked away. Stupid fucking alleyway.

"Are you crying?"

Chishiya really didn't need his ego to be boosted any higher than necessary.

"No." You mutter out, because you weren't, and your eye's were dry and your nose was fine, thank you very much. And even if your breath came out unevenly, and your heart hammered through your rib cage and pulsed with every flow of blood - he didn't need to know that. And he shouldn't know that because he wouldn't care, so why do you?

"It's a perfectly normal reaction by medical standers - in fact it's actual healthier too cry, if we wan't to go into-"

With the same palm that etched across his face you covered his mouth, "Too much talking, not enough breathing."

He stopped for a moment, and just when you were about to pull back and let his airway breath freely a slick, moist feeling ran along your middle finger - it took you a second to pull back, eyebrows furred and confused before you stared at your wet palm in horror.

"Ohmygodohmygod," you searched frantically, brain scrambled and confused as what the hell you were supposed to do with that.

"I think the blood loose has gotten to you," You note, wiping your hand along his pant leg aggressively, Chishiya stared back indifferently.

"You told me to breath while blocking a vital airway."

You glare at him, "You have a nose."

Chishiya lifted him shoulders aimlessly.

You didn’t take the time to answer, instead cupping around your blooded jacket that laid across his chest - the blood subsided vaguely, but not enough to make you any less anxious. There was still free flowing blood, and every time Chishiya moved he let out a groan - which with Chishiya, meant that it sent shock waves throughout his whole body.

“What do you think doctor, am I going to make it?”

You squinted at him aggravated, although you couldn’t deny the slightly engaging tone he held, “Why is it that only when you’re dying you have the urge to talk to me?”

“Funnily enough, right now is the only time I think I can tolerate your presence.”

You bit the inside of your cheek, deciding to ignore the underline of his words - after all, that was the closets thing to a compliment you think Chishiya is capable of. With a light touch you fling the sleeve of your jacket around his neck, creating a solid nest on-top of the wound, “Fatigued and half unconscious? How charming.”

He, decidingly, ignored you. “I’m a doctor.”

This made you pause, “An influence from my father, really. About the only influence he ever taught me.”

Chishiya’s eyes scanned the sky, jumping for cloud to cloud - and you couldn’t tell where his head was at. Where was this coming from? A slight furrow deepened between your eyebrows, and not to discourage him you continued to work your way around his gunshot.

“It was a futile attempt. I felt the same before as I did after.” Chishiya paused to drop his gaze to you, “People like you irk me. Simple as that. I find your selflessness stupid, and your optimism childish - and becoming a doctor didn’t change that.”

For a moment you thought he was joking - ready to roll you eyes and push your jacket down a little harder - but with a hardened look you realized he was serious. Chishiya looked as though he just asked you your favorite color, calm and collected and entirely raw.

And though his front was put together, carefully crafted like a jigsaw puzzle, your noticed the way his shoulders tightened back like he was bracing to be pushed away, his own fingers crawling to your jacket in hand - he expected you to let go, to hit him or yell, and maybe thats what he wanted.

But you were stubborn, and you would hate to give Chishiya what he wanted.

Heavily sighing, you let your weight fall back into him, still being cautious of his side.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

You weren’t shocked to hear it. Disappointed? Maybe, but purely out of fact he tried something so obscure to urge you away - to deny a hand trying to help - and he thought it would be that easy.

You confirm an, “Okay.”

It was silent.

Chishiya breathing heaved a little more heavily than before, but his body loosened - you never knew he was tensed in the first place. Your breathing wasn’t any better - you swore a game of diamonds gave you asthma, making you breath spores for almost an hour straight - and even now if felt like they were blindly trying to claw there way out of your throat in every direction.

You felt a slight shift behind your shoulder, than a cold hand brushing your hair from you neck. Goosebumps appearing where his fingers laied - before resting on your pulse and he just.. stayed there.

Nibble fingers pressed against your skin, and it didn’t feel bad - farthest thing from it. And from time to time he’d circle his finger when he’d lose the thump of your heart, before finding it again. The motion would repeat.

"All surviving players will be presented with two choices. Players must now decide whether to accept permanent residency, or decline it."

"I want-" Chishiya voice was coarse when he spoke, and his finger dragged back down, "To turn it down, I think."

You gave a tiny smile, to no one but yourself, "I want.." his finger started to trail back up the hallow of your neck, "To accept."

Chishiya's finger froze.

[bestanimal]

Round 2 - Chordata - Chondrichthyes

(Sources - 1, 2, 3, 4)

Chondrichthyes is a class of jawed fish, commonly called “cartilaginous fish” due to their skeletons composed mainly of cartilage, making them distinct from all other vertebrates. They are comprised of the superorders Selachimorpha (“Sharks”), Batoidea (“Rays”), and Holocephalimorpha (“Chimaeras”).

Chondrichthyans breath through gills but lack opercula (gill coverings) and swim bladders. They have paired fins, paired nares (nostrils), and placoid (tooth-shaped) scales (except for electric rays, which have loose, soft skin). These placoid scales, also called dermal denticles, provide protection and streamlining, giving the animal’s skin a sandpaper-y feel. All chondrichthyans breathe through five to seven pairs of gills, depending on the species. As a general rule, pelagic species usually must keep swimming to keep oxygenated water moving through their gills, while demersal species can actively pump water in through their spiracles (a small hole or slit behind each eye) and out through their gills. Most larger, pelagic species no longer have spiracles. Chondrichthyans have many sensory organs to perceive the world around them. Their nostrils are attached to powerful olfactory organs. Around their face are a network of electroreceptors called Ampullae of Lorenzini, which allow them to sense electrical fields. Their lateral line has modified epithelial cells which sense motion, vibration, and pressure in the water around them. However, their sound-detecting apparatus has limited range and is typically more powerful at lower frequencies. Some species have electricity-producing organs which can be used for defense and predation. Chondrichthyans have a diverse array of shapes and sizes, ranging from the 10 cm (3.9 in) long, electric Finless Sleeper Ray (Temera hardwickii) to the over 10 m (33 ft) long Whale Shark (Rhincodon typus). All species are carnivores: some predatory, some ambush-hunters, and some filter-feeders. At least one species is omnivorous. Chondrichthyans have internal fertilization and most species give live birth, while some lay eggs. There is no parental care after birth, though some chondrichthyans do guard their eggs.

Chondrichthyans are considered to have evolved from Acanthodians, which appear from the Early Silurian. The first sharks began to evolve in the Devonian Period, though, while often claimed to be relatively unchanged, modern forms did not start appearing until the Early Jurassic.

Propaganda under the cut:

Mentioned briefly above, the Bonnethead Shark (Sphyrna tiburo), a small species of hammerhead, is the only shark known to be omnivorous. While it feeds on crustaceans, molluscs, and small fish, it also ingests large amounts of seagrass, which has been found to make up around 62% of gut content mass.

Also mentioned briefly above, Electric Rays (order Torpediniformes) are known for being capable of producing an electric discharge, ranging from 8 to 220 volts, depending on species, used to stun prey and for defense.

There are over 500 different species of sharks, and only a dozen could be considered dangerous to humans. That being said, of those 12, most do not seem to like the taste of human flesh, and bites are usually accidental or exploratory.

Many pelagic chondrichthyans occasionally breach, leaping out of the water. This can be done for hunting purposes, as a mating ritual, to shake off parasites, or even just for fun!

Today, all species of Sawfish (family Pristidae) are critically endangered. However, they were relatively common in the Cretaceous, where they were likely a common food source for Spinosaurus.

(Confusingly, Sawfish are a type of ray while Sawsharks (order Pristiophoriformes) are a type of shark. Sawsharks live in the deep sea and are rarely seen, while sawfish live in coastal and brackish waters.)

Kitefin Sharks (family Dalatiidae) have bioluminescent organs which glow blue in the dark

Chimaeras have a strange pair of teeth in their lower jaw which look like rodent incisors, giving them the common names “ratfish” or “rabbitfish.”

Great White Sharks (Carcharodon carcharias) are regularly hunted by orcas, and when one is confronted by an orca it will generally flee and not return to that area for up to a year.

Manta Rays (genus Mobula) are incredibly smart. They were the first “fish” in the world to pass the “mirror test” (ie show self-awareness by recognizing themselves in a mirror rather than seeing the reflected image as another manta ray). They also have highly-developed long-term memory, form friendships, and play with each other by blowing bubbles and breaching out of the water.

[leclerc-hs]

fille stupide pt. 3 - cl16

Pairing: charles leclerc x fem!reader / max verstappen x fem!reader Summary: in which you now kind of know French and a not so stranger is still here Warnings: smut, oral (f-receiving), angstyyyy (?), cheating (again, i'm sorry), 18+!, not proofread!!, bad French (correct me please!!), bad Dutch (correct me please!!) Word Count: 1985 Author's Note: ok so I think we'll end fille stupide here 🤭 I absolutely loved writing this (if you couldn't tell by how fast i was able to write it lmaooo). I honestly WOULD NOT mind writing more scenarios for them in the future. Like if I ever write mean dom charles, my mind will automatically come back to them. please don't forget to leave feedback! love y'all french edited by @shewantsvengeance!!! dutch edited by @deanlovescassie!!!

PART 1 PART 2

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

STARTLED BY A loud bang in the kitchen, you jolt awake. The bright sun streaming through your windows blinds you as you try to make sense of the abrupt awakening and your surroundings. You were no longer naked; a large plain white t-shirt enveloped your body. A t-shirt you don’t remember even putting on or falling asleep in. A t-shirt, that’s not even yours.

Caution gripped you as you inched towards the kitchen, moving slowly down the hall. The muffled sounds persisted, their meaning elusive, while the clattering of cabinets continued. As you finally reached the corner of the hallway, you were met with the sight of a partially naked Charles in the kitchen, an array of food on the stove top cooked. The aroma of bacon and eggs wafted through the kitchen, prompting your stomach to audibly grumble in response. You leaned against the countertop across from him, just watching the muscles of his back flex with each deliberate movement. He stayed?

You let out a breath of air in relief at the sight of him. Not just because he was there and stayed, but because it wasn’t somebody breaking in.

He didn’t even turn around before saying, “Où ranges-tu tes assiettes?” Where do you keep your plates? “Oh, I found them!” He didn’t have to turn around to sense your presence; all his senses seemed attuned to your proximity. Your body called to him, like it demanded his attention. As if your cells were able to alert his own, screaming for them to merge with yours.

You felt a swirl of need form in your stomach at the sight of your scratch marks on his back. As if he was marked for your territory only. You also felt a surge of panic form in your throat as the memories of last night came flooding back. 

Tell me who your body belongs to.

Je t’appartiens, Charles.

A sensation of unease churned in your stomach as thoughts of Max’s face crossed your mind. The guilt weighed heavily, and you felt on the verge of nausea for what you had done to him. How was it possible that something so bad felt so good? It was as if Charles held complete control over you, rendering you senseless and devoid of rational thoughts and actions. Tears prick at your eyes as you observe the bruises on the insides of your legs and felt the welts on your neck. Your body looks and feels both used and abused. Nothing about this situation is okay. Last night, you both had been remarkably careless. 

The panic began to subside only when Charles turned around and met your gaze. His eyes, an unusually light shade of green, captured your attention. His disheveled hair hinted at just having woken up not too long ago.

“I didn’t know you stayed,” you began, confusion laced in your voice. “I heard the door shut last night.”

“Fille stupide,” Stupid girl. A smile crept on his face, carrying a mocking undertone that seemed directed at you.  “I went to store to get you a pill last night. Je suis revenu.” I came back.

You despised how profoundly his words impacted you, how his return stirred a need for you to rationalize both your actions and his, even when there was no justification for what had transpired. Anxious, your fingers fidgeted with the end of the T-shirt that rested at the middle of your thighs. He advanced towards you, trapping you between him and the counter – a familiar position whenever you find yourself in his presence. His hands find their way to your face, their size enough to envelope majority of it. His fingers sprawl on your jawline, and his thumbs rest on your cheekbones as he looks at you. Really looks at you. Like he’s memorizing every inch of your face. Like you’re a textbook and he has a test to study for. 

“Tu es tellement belle,” You’re so beautiful. Despite his sweet words, a sinister gleam in his eyes followed the contours of your body, his hands firmly gripping your hips as he pressed himself to you, “I meant what I said last night.”

Mine, you’re fucking mine.

The ache in between your legs was growing with each passing second. He was too close, his smell and warmth surrounding you, creating a sense of intoxication. You felt the need to press your thighs together, but Charles stood between them, smirking down at you like he knew. 

Words fail you as you gaze up at him, but he doesn’t seem to mind. He stands there patiently, waiting as you study the furrow of his eyebrow. He stands there patiently, waiting as your eyes delve into his, memorizing every shade of color within them. He stands there patiently, waiting as your gaze fixates on his lips.

It was almost as if you didn’t have a choice. Like he was a pre-determined answer to your life. A definition to your word.

“Guess I didn’t give it to you hard enough last night, hm?” It wasn’t until your hands settle on his biceps that he realizes you’ve given him consent. Suddenly, his hands are everywhere. Roaming your body like an unexplored map; squeezing your waist, pinching your nipples, squeezing your butt. He just can’t get enough of you. “Need me to take the ache away?”

A moan escapes your lips as you yield, unable to resist him. Your body, seemingly under his command, surrenders to its desires. 

His tongue presses against yours, never losing contact. He quickly flips the both of you around, pushing you until your back met the countertop of the island. With determination, he lifts you onto it, shoving anything that finds solace there, to the floor. His hands push you down, so you now lay sprawled on the counter in the center of the kitchen. You replacing the breakfast Charles had made.

“Mon dieu,” My God. He growls at the sight of your legs spread and bare for him. “Je pourrais mourir heureux.” I could die happy. You have no idea what he was saying, but it didn’t matter. Especially when his tongue met your clit, licking you as if you were the last meal on Earth and he was starving.

His two fingers slid into your heated core, curling them to brush your g-spot with every stroke. “Tellement bon,” So fucking good. He’s moaning into your pussy, sending you into oblivion. 

“Putain de salope.” Fucking dirty slut. He manages to mumble in between your legs, the vibration of his words pushing you closer to the edge.

Around his fingers, you clench. You revel in the feeling of him in you, no matter what or how it’s done. Your fingers clench in his hair, it’s longer than the first time you met, tugging to anchor yourself. His hands on you are equivalent to an out of body experience. You could never tire of it. 

“You like that?” Yes! You wanted to yell. You more than liked it. You loved it.

It wasn’t until his other hand, the one not inside of you, groped one of your breasts, rolling your nipples between his fingers, that you went flying over the edge, relishing in the waves of pleasure as he continues to thrust his fingers in you – coaxing you through the orgasm. 

His mouth is hot on you, swallowing anything you’ll give him. Your legs shake, his mouth on you becoming too much as you squirm until he stops and looks at you, his lips glossy and coated.

“Tellement foutrement doux,” So fucking sweet. He murmured as he pulled you up, holding you in an upright position to look at him. You still don’t know what he’s saying, but you didn’t care. Your ears were ringing as you came down from your high, feeling limp against the hands of Charles.

You shut your eyes as you began to feel the panic surge. You gave in, again.  He peppered small kisses to your neck, almost too softly, a stark contrast from how he treats you in the midst of sex. He was soft with you now -- tender. You don’t think you’ll ever be able to stop. As if sensing your panic, Charles tips your chin to look at him.

“Cherie, you are made for me.” You feel the panic claw at your throat, constricting you, and the tears begin to spill from your eyes. “Don’t you see?”

You did see it. You could see it clear as day. After all, there wasn’t a day that he wasn’t on your mind since the first encounter. You don’t understand what’s happening to you. How could you betray Max like this? He didn’t deserve it, and you didn’t deserve him. It feels like there’s no choice when it comes to Charles. It’s as if your body responds instantly to his mere gaze. He’s the batteries, and you’re the remote control. Completely useless without its batteries.

You knew you had to tell Max. You couldn’t bear to hurt him any further. You observed Charles begin to furrow his eyebrows in frustration as he sensed you withdrawing from him. The sight pained him, and it hurt to witness.

“I need to tell Max,” You started, but were quickly cut off by a voice.

“Tell Max what?” 

You felt your heart stop and face flush red, as none other than Max stood just a few feet away in the entry way of your home, holding a bouquet of flowers in his hand and a spare key to your apartment in the other. Time seemed to slow down as you observed Max’s eyes darting between the proximity of you and Charles. There you were, perched on the counter, with Charles standing between your legs. Your cheeks flushed red as you sat with nothing but Charles t-shirt on your body. The kitchen island was wiped clean, everything scattered on the floor. The air hung heavy with an unspoken tension.

He didn’t even speak. He simply dropped the flowers and spare key on the entry way table and turned around, heading for the door. You shoved Charles out of the way, running towards the door. Running towards Max.

“Please, I can explain,” you were shouting. Completely panicked. But really, there was nothing to explain. It was clear as day, all cards laid out on the table in front of Max’s eyes.

“You don’t need to explain.” He scoffed, his jaw clenched in anger, as his eyes bounced from you, standing in front of him, to Charles, who remained planted in the kitchen. “Ik ben er klaar mee.” I’m done. He spoke in his native tongue, knowing you understood.

“Ik walg van je.” You disgust me. His words were sharp, stabbing you where it hurt most. He couldn’t even look you in the eye as he stepped out of the apartment as fast as he could.

You convince yourself that something has to be wrong with you. You were so mad that you did this. So mad that you hurt Max. But still, despite it all, everything with Charles feels so right.

Tears spilled hotly from your eyes, falling to the floor as you sobbed into your hands. Charles hurried over, lifting you to your feet and cradling you in his arms. Swiftly, he carried you to your bed, gently placing you on the covers. Pulling you into his chest, he held you tightly, providing comfort and solace.

“Je te protégerai.” I’ll keep you safe. Charles mutters into the nape of your neck, rubbing your back soothingly as you cry into him. “Tu es faite pour moi.” You’re meant for me.

You cried for what felt like hours. Charles only continued to whisper sweet nothings to you as he held you. You cried until you were limp with exhaustion, eyes closing, surrounded in the warmth of Charles. You didn’t deserve it.

“I will be here when you wake up, Cherie.” ----------- sorry max, you need to lose something 🤭

[nasa]

Navigating Deep Space by Starlight

On August 6, 1967, astrophysicist Jocelyn Bell Burnell noticed a blip in her radio telescope data. And then another. Eventually, Bell Burnell figured out that these blips, or pulses, were not from people or machines.

The blips were constant. There was something in space that was pulsing in a regular pattern, and Bell Burnell figured out that it was a pulsar: a rapidly spinning neutron star emitting beams of light. Neutron stars are superdense objects created when a massive star dies. Not only are they dense, but neutron stars can also spin really fast! Every star we observe spins, and due to a property called angular momentum, as a collapsing star gets smaller and denser, it spins faster. It’s like how ice skaters spin faster as they bring their arms closer to their bodies and make the space that they take up smaller.

The pulses of light coming from these whirling stars are like the beacons spinning at the tops of lighthouses that help sailors safely approach the shore. As the pulsar spins, beams of radio waves (and other types of light) are swept out into the universe with each turn. The light appears and disappears from our view each time the star rotates.

After decades of studying pulsars, astronomers wondered—could they serve as cosmic beacons to help future space explorers navigate the universe? To see if it could work, scientists needed to do some testing!

First, it was important to gather more data. NASA’s NICER, or Neutron star Interior Composition Explorer, is a telescope that was installed aboard the International Space Station in 2017. Its goal is to find out things about neutron stars like their sizes and densities, using an array of 56 special X-ray concentrators and sensitive detectors to capture and measure pulsars’ light.

But how can we use these X-ray pulses as navigational tools? Enter SEXTANT, or Station Explorer for X-ray Timing and Navigation Technology. If NICER was your phone, SEXTANT would be like an app on it.  

During the first few years of NICER’s observations, SEXTANT created an on-board navigation system using NICER’s pulsar data. It worked by measuring the consistent timing between each pulsar’s pulses to map a set of cosmic beacons.

When calculating position or location, extremely accurate timekeeping is essential. We usually rely on atomic clocks, which use the predictable fluctuations of atoms to tick away the seconds. These atomic clocks can be located on the ground or in space, like the ones on GPS satellites. However, our GPS system only works on or close to Earth, and onboard atomic clocks can be expensive and heavy. Using pulsar observations instead could give us free and reliable “clocks” for navigation. During its experiment, SEXTANT was able to successfully determine the space station’s orbital position!

We can calculate distances using the time taken for a signal to travel between two objects to determine a spacecraft’s approximate location relative to those objects. However, we would need to observe more pulsars to pinpoint a more exact location of a spacecraft. As SEXTANT gathered signals from multiple pulsars, it could more accurately derive its position in space.

So, imagine you are an astronaut on a lengthy journey to the outer solar system. You could use the technology developed by SEXTANT to help plot your course. Since pulsars are reliable and consistent in their spins, you wouldn’t need Wi-Fi or cell service to figure out where you were in relation to your destination. The pulsar-based navigation data could even help you figure out your ETA!

None of these missions or experiments would be possible without Jocelyn Bell Burnell’s keen eye for an odd spot in her radio data decades ago, which set the stage for the idea to use spinning neutron stars as a celestial GPS. Her contribution to the field of astrophysics laid the groundwork for research benefitting the people of the future, who yearn to sail amongst the stars.  

Keep up with the latest NICER news by following NASA Universe on X and Facebook and check out the mission’s website. For more on space navigation, follow @NASASCaN on X or visit NASA’s Space Communications and Navigation website.  

Make sure to follow us on Tumblr for your regular dose of space!

[amelee23]

Natural | Lee Minho

Genre: FLUFFFFFF fluff fluff, romance

Pairing: Lee know x gender neutral reader

Word count: 3k

Warnings: going on a forest vacay to escape society, SUPER sappy cheesy stuff, SOFT, walks at 6 am, kisses and hugs and everything nice, a chokehold as a joke, humour, metaphors galore, he's cat dad, reader gets called kitten once, I love lino very much, promises for the future 🤭

Summary: You and Minho go on a vacation to a forest cabin. As he wakes you up at 6 am for a walk, you can't help but get sappy and admire him alongside the landscape. Your love for him makes Minho say something that might change your perspective of the future.

You were gently shaken awake a little too early for comfort. First thing you felt was the heft of your eyelids and a subtle throbbing in your forehead; but the first thing you remembered, though, was the way you have probably fallen asleep having extremely soft conversations with your lover, about how far the both of you have come, the things you've accomplished, how proud you feel of each other and also of your friends who you grew up with.

"The sun's not even awake yet." You grumble to him, and he gives you a silly smile.

"But I am!" You can't help but snort, still pushing your nose further into the pillows. You didn't want to get out of bed, really. "C'mon, get up. Go on a walk with me."

"At this hour? Ugh, you're so random sometimes." You say, grumbling, but you start moving out of the bed.

It probably wasn't random at all. If you were to make a guess, it was probably premeditated and he had some sort of intention for taking a walk in the woods at 6 in the morning.

Well, he hoped it would be 6 in the morning but your drowsiness didn't allow for it. He had to be patient, make you coffee and a light breakfast, or else you'd turn blue like the cookie monster and eat him alive without food and caffeine in your system.

You looked out the window as the two of you were silently enjoying breakfast. It was such a beautiful sight, and if you just allowed it, the cherry chirp of the birds in the morning was enough to block the demons inside your head.

Although he had woken you up at ungodly hours, this was the vacation you both dreamt of. You rented out a cabin in the forest, and it was, for once, just you and him. The last people you've seen were in a different cabin 10 minutes down the road, and the center rental establishment that had groceries and necessities was 20 minutes away. Of course, it could prove to be a pain in the ass if you didn't prepare well, but you made sure you had everything you needed - so that you could truly disconnect from the world and let yourselves be swallowed up by nature.

You should have guessed Minho was always planning to go on this walk, considering how serious he seemed about it. While you were eating and trying to awaken your brain cells, he got dressed in a cozy shirt, loose pants and a backwards cap and he was already arranging a small backpack with water bottles and his Polaroid camera. He went as far as packing an external phone battery, too. Then he sat down next to you and waited.

You've gotten to know his array of expressions so well, you thought. He was looking at you, and to an outsider his expression would tell them close to nothing. But no, his expression looked gentle, kind, patient, impatient, exasperated and excited all at once. You could see how eager he was to move, almost as if his body was half-way already bolting out the door. Still, he was trying to maintain his calm, since there was no point to the outside views that awaited him if you weren't seeing them with him.

Your eyes met as you were admiring him, and almost like a kitten pawing for attention, he gently pulled at the sleeve of your pyjama shirt.

You were so in love with him, it wasn't even funny.

He began your little nature adventure by holding your hand and guiding you to the forest path, but as soon as you could hear the crunch of pebbles and branches under your feet, Minho was gone. He walked far ahead of you, as if he was caught in a trance. It was so weird, because in reality all you could see was his slumped back, his sluggish figure trudging through the forest, but in your mind he was running, he was twirling, he was opening his arms large to welcome the sun into an embrace. If only he would let the freedom that guides his soul be seen, without the fear of being judged or the weight of society pressing down on him.

You weren't mad he left you behind. In fact, you were having a blast just watching him: trip over a rock when he was too occupied looking at the height of the pine trees, taking pictures with his phone of every and any flower he deemed pretty or interesting, whispering "squirrel" and "hello little buddy" whenever he saw a critter.

He would turn around and look at you once in a while to reassure himself you're there and that you're safe. (And weren't stolen by some forest goblin.) Whenever he'd make a pit stop to take pictures you'd catch up with him and he'd ask you if you're okay, if you're bored or if you want him to slow down his pace. You'd tell him no, you'd tell him he's so endearing being in his natural element. And he'd smile, but it wouldn't be the kind of smile that shows a collection of pearly whites or spreads from one ear to the other. Not even his bunny teeth would show; it would be a closed-lipped, subtle smile, that you found was the most meaningful of them all when it came to Minho. It was the smile of "I feel content", it was the smile of "I feel at peace". Put in simple words, it was the smile of "I'm happy." His happiness was quiet, that was what you observed. And this smile, the truest of them all, showed in various situations: when he was taking walks in nature, when he was preparing a meal, when he was playing with his feline babies, and when he was spending time with you. You were part of his silent happiness, and you were perhaps, one of the only ones who knew what it meant.

And understanding one's personality, one's inner workings is not exactly an easy feat. Just how it took millennia for humanity to understand the laws of the universe, Minho thought it would take decades for someone to understand him. That is, if someone ever did.

But when you arrived, it was as if you were an enforcer fighting for the preservation of nature. A flower is most beautiful when it is on the field that it belongs to, rather than being plucked and put into a bouquet, forced to look beautiful for someone else. You preserved the flower where it was. You didn't uproot it. You gave him water, nourishment and talked to him in such a loving manner, that now he blooms so beautifully.

He's become much more beautiful than a human being should ever be.

Minho stopped one more time to take a picture of the path, and the shadows the trees were casting on the ground. A ray of light sneakily made its way through them, casting itself on a ladybug that was climbing up the tree bark. Minho took a picture of the ladybug, then turned towards the stray light and offered his hand to it. He played with the light between his fingers, let it roll along his palm, and then he put his hand down. He looked up, towards the sky, more golden strands of the sun dancing along his face, and he took a deep breath. When he exhaled, his chest looked lighter, and he seemed to begin to shine, a light sparkle dusting the skin of his arms, as if he was really becoming one with the sun.

He was breathtaking.

Having finally caught up with him, your arms circled his waist and you embraced him tightly, cheek smushing into his shoulder blades. It was an urge, an instinct, to do so.

He seemed a little startled, but he didn't complain. He patted your hands gently and then he took a picture of your hands woven so tightly around his torso, without catching his or your face in the picture. You knew that because it became his lockscreen after that day.

As softly as he could muster, as if to not scare you off, Minho held your hand and spun around to face you, his eyes sparkly and curious.

"Everything okay?"

"Mhm." You respond, holding him by the waist as if to show you didn't want him going anywhere. Minho loved the warmth that enveloped him. "You just looked so natural, so genuine." You smile at him, and he instantly knows by your grin you were having a poetic, sappy moment. "You always look like you belong right in nature. Had to touch you to make sure you're real." You emphasize your words by squeezing a little bit at his hips and the skin above his ribs, and he lets out a cat-like yelp that makes you giggle.

You become an entanglement of limbs when Minho decides to cup both sides of your face as you're holding him. Your face slightly mushed together, he angles your eyes to look into his, and none of you would win the competition of who's more enamoured than the other.

"Sometimes I really can't help but wonder... what are those pretty eyes of yours seeing when you look at me?" He asks in the softest way possible, and you're suddenly caught in a trance. His eyes pull you closer, his skin continues to sparkle, and a gentle warm breeze seems to circle the two of you.

"Magic." You answer, promptly, with certainty, still bewitched by the portrait of him among the trees. He lets out a puff of hair as he chuckles, but he doesn't mock you. He caressed your face with his thumb and you too feel warm.

"Magic?"

"It's like the magic of nature is coursing through you..." You begin to rant, but figure out finding the right words is quite a challenge. But Minho was patient. "It's hard to explain. It's like you're out of this world ... and yet the most human I've ever seen someone be... The most natural." Minho has heard this song and dance before. Countless of times you've called him a forest fairy, a fae, a nymph...but to him the most fascinating part of it was how you were able to tell. You could see where he belonged, where he shone the brightest. You allowed him to realize when he was happy and not be scared of that happiness; therefore, there was only one thought forming at the back of his mind. A thought, that was of course, completely random and not something he's thought about hundreds of times before while you were sound asleep.

"Marry me." He blurts out, and you blink at him, awaiting a grin, a laugh, a smirk, a signal of a joke. But there was none. He was solemn and focused as he watched the slight panic in your gaze.

"Do you really mean it?"

"Yes. I mean, not now. Someday." He answers in a split of a second. But then, he backs out as if burnt. Maybe, just maybe, he let his impulses get the better of him. "Why, do you not feel the same? It's okay, you can tell me if I'm being too pushy-" He's panicking, and panic doesn't fit his handsome features. So you grab him by the shoulders and kiss him with passion.

Kissing Minho was addicting.

"You're the first person I've ever liked kissing this much." You confess to him after you break apart. Then, you wrap your arms around him yet again and rest your head on his chest, your ear prying in to listen to the alarmed pace of his heart. You squeeze him tight, so very tight, almost like he was a teddy bear. "The first person I've liked holding so much." His heart continued to drum, for he was confused about what you were saying. Was he getting an answer to his question or was this your subtle way of switching the subject, saying that you weren't ready yet? Minho tries to calm down in order to focus on what you were saying. "The only one for which romance made sense." You begin to explain, your cheek still tightly pressed into his chest. You're calm and you speak in what is almost a whisper. "Feelings aren't supposed to be logical, I know, but... being with you is. It's logical... it just makes sense, being in love with you. I can never blame myself for it, never hold myself accountable. Because falling in love with you ...came to me as naturally as breathing; like it was always part of my DNA."

There is a nature in all of us. Cells, stardust, but mostimportantly, love. To love is human nature, fact discovered ever since medieval times. Whether you loved God like Dante, or loved humans like Boccaccio, it is destined for all of us to love.

"Because I'm nature...?"

He was human, he was nature, and towards him you felt only that which is most natural.

"Because you're nature. And I love nature." You pull back to look at him and are startled to see the ocean of his eyes, the reflection of stars in the sea. He was trying not to cry, and looking at you with the fondness of a thousand families.

"Nature loves you too, kitten." Once more he holds your face close, but this time around he leans down to kiss you on the forehead. It is a long kiss. It is a warm kiss. It is a meaningful kiss. "The whole world does. And I do even more." Words like these touched chords inside your heart you didn't even know could be touched. Minho always told you so, that you weren't just worthy of his love, but the love of every single person on this planet.

"Yeah, I bet the world loves me if they gave me you." You say, and Minho thinks you are joking. You weren't, but there was perhaps a limit of how sappy a moment can be until it gets truly too much.

"Ew." He jokes back, scrunching his nose to fake disgust. A grin appears on his face, which you mimic.

And that's all you do for a while. Like a movie panorama, you stay there to look at each other. The clouds, the trees, something must have moved with the wind since the sun starts to line both of your faces. One of your eyes starts to squint because of the light, and suddenly it hits you.

"So, are we married now? Where's my ring?"

Minho didn't expect that, and there were a number of reasons why you were sure of it; one, because he starts to blabber and two, because his ears turned red.

"Well, I uh, I uh, don't- I said someday... Not this exact moment! Uhm...Hold on." It's a good thing Minho was a boy scout when he was young, although he would have never thought his skills would come in handy in a situation like this.

You're confused about what he was planning, but you let him do his thing. He squats down next to a group of small, white flowers and plucks them out from the ground in such a manner that their stems remain very long. Then, he picks a strand of grass and takes your hand in his to measure your finger with it. After he has your measurements, he begins to wrap the flower stems around the grass strand with such craftsmanship, almost as if it hasn't been 15 years since he last made a ring out of flowers.

When he is done, he gingerly slides it up your ring finger and he's proud like a child. The ring is cute, tiny and light, and it tickles your finger softly. It's not gold or diamonds, but it is a promise, and it is so much more natural than forged metals and stolen minerals. So much more Minho.

"There you go." He beams proudly. Truth be told, he is flabbergasted he managed to make the ring actually hold without falling apart. "Now we share all of our assets and you are legally obligated to feed my cats when I'm not at home and clean out their litters." He speaks matter of factly, and you slap him on the chest.

"You only want me so I can do your chores! Tsk, I think our marriage is already falling apart." You joke, pretending to turn around and pout. Minho finds you hilarious, especially as he envelops you from the back and holds you in a pretend chokehold.

"The only thing falling apart is gonna be my wallet when I buy you that ring." You don't know if it's the light of the sun or you're blushing, but your face grows hot. Getting married was, of course, the natural order of progressing things in a relationship. But a part of you has always wondered if you are someone to deem worthy of marriage; if that's something that would ever happen to you. Now that such reality was approaching, it did really feel like magic.

Minho released you from the tight hold and decided to walk with your hand in his instead. He was looking at your finger, at the hand-made flower ring, and his quiet, peaceful smile came back to his face.

"I promise I'll get you a real ring soon. You'll have it on your finger by the time we come here again." He speaks softly, in a murmur, but you hear him. You stay quiet, but he sees you nod. You acknowledge his promise, and a completely harmless anxiety mixes in with the excitement that comes with thinking of that day.

"Does that mean we're not gonna have a vacation here for the next 5 years?" Minho rolls his eyes at your question, and the sappiness finally seems to come to an end; you're back to your lighthearted vacation.

-------------------------------

"Or perhaps I'll make you live in the wild with me for the next five years. If we never leave we can't come back." He wiggles his eyebrows at you, gives you his trademark serial killer look, and there was never a moment when you've loved him more. Never a moment when you've loved him more naturally.

.

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lesson one: sensitive

ko-fi | series masterlist

pairing: porn star!joel miller x f!reader

summary: under several notable circumstances, mr. miller finally decided that he'd be the best teacher for your first debut into sexual activities. even when all of it is to prepare you for your successful date.

word count: 5.4k (i know.. i went a little crazy on this lol)

warnings: explicit (18+), set in 2013, pre-outbreak, age gap (joel in mid 30's and reader in early 20's), inexperienced but not dumb reader, fingering, he's kinda mean, check umbrella warning on series masterlist

notes: i had so much fun writing this! tbh this one is super filthy compared to the other one so.. forgive me 🤲 COMMENT n REBLOG if u liked it

“I could take you home if you’d like. Pretty girls like you shouldn’t roam the street alone.”

Simon, more commonly referred to as Robotic Class Guy or French Fries, was surprisingly not half as bad as you thought he would be. He had all the height of a man but none of the bulk. From behind he could be easily spotted as someone in their late teens to early thirties, mostly blaming his horrid graphic tee and skinny jeans combo, but when he turned that face was all boy. His caramel hair flopped over his eyes in the way no office worker could get away with and on his wrist were bracelets in woven leather. 

At first, you accepted his awkward invite out of spite. 

Just to rid yourself of a certain plague festering upon your head, feasting on your brain cells so that you’d think of nothing but Mr. Miller in all his glory. Him with his tight worn-out jeans, spread open enough that you could see a naughty peak of his bulge, while he watched the soccer game. Him with his shirt off, bathing in the summer-induced moisture, while he mowed the front lawn and edged the curb. Him with his thumb parting your lips, looking at you like he’s about to consume you alive, but of course he didn’t. 

At least now that Simon came around, you’d have a new port to anchor your boat on.

“No, thanks, I’m alright. My..”

Who was Mr. Miller to you again? 

Your.. father? Absolutely not. Even if he’s taken you in as a part of the Miller family, just like how he used to say, you would feel like it’d be morbidly repulsive to deduce him to that particular role. For fuckssake, you stick a finger up your cunt every single week to the thought of him fucking you like one of his girls.

Then would a family friend be better of a word? Or should you just say that he’s a guardian of yours? But that’d be confusing, wouldn’t it? You glanced at your watch, counting the hour and minute hand as if it’d give you a revelation on how to answer Simon’s pop quiz.

“Someone promised to pick me up.”

That sure did sound ominous.

With a promise to leave a message to his cell once you’ve returned home safely, you stepped out of the quaint local restaurant. It was warm outside and you weren’t particularly fond of that. Heat has always been your mortal enemy; something about the musty scent of middle school boys’ armpits after PE class mixed in with the pungent perfumes they use to try and hide it has left you permanently traumatized. Your once-cheery mood had long evaporated along with any semblance of coolness. You tugged at the hem of your sundress, fanning yourself with your hand in a futile attempt to find relief from the stifling heat. This is hell!

Where was Mr. Miller?

Mr. Miller must've read your mind, because a honk quickly resonated. He was on the very corner of the parking lot; his large pickup truck looked hilariously out of place when compared to the array of city cars parked by his side. You swore you could see him grin from behind the shaded tint of his window, perhaps entertained at your almost too obvious annoyance. The thought made your heart jump and maybe even did a front-flip. God, you’re helpless!

As you beelined down the sidewalk and on to him, the heat seemed to intensify with every step. Beads of sweat formed on your forehead, causing your hair to stick in weird shapes. You just hope that his truck’s AC works.

“Hi.. Hi, Mr. Miller.”

“Hey, sweetheart. How was it?”

The nickname never ceased to exude so much power. ‘Sweetheart’ made you feel as if a tail had grown out right from the hilt of your ass and you had no other choice than to swish it around excitedly. You propped up one leg on the washed-off gray carpet, before swinging yourself into the vehicle in one go. The door closed behind with a loud thud. As you leaned back, you cringed at the feeling of your sweat-soaked dress clinging onto your skin. You felt like some marinated beef, sticky and in need of a quick shower.

“It was alright,” you hummed.

“Alright? Now that made me all the more curious,” he grinned, nudging your side with the edge of his elbow. “Com’on now. Tell me all about it, will ya?”

“Mr. Miller, are you trying to embarrass me?”

Mr. Miller’s soothing brown eyes that were stuck on the glittering street lights came flickering over to you, as if he’s actually afraid that perhaps he’s made you uncomfortable. His shoulders squared and his jaw slackened for just a split second as he tried to grasp for any nuance you’ve just given. You then smiled at him, relieving him of his worries.

It’s a little jarring to say that you think he’s quite cute. In the same way people find puppies cute, or those strawberry-shaped trinkets. He’s a little socially-awkward in his own way. Embarrassed to ask the waitress to bring his plate back, but would be confident bullying his cock into a tight cunt. Would definitely get kooky when asked to join a parents-teacher conference, but would whisper filthy things on the internet.

“I ain’t tryna make you embarrassed,” he huffed out. “I just wanna know you’re safe.”

How nice. If only he knew why you went on dates in the first place.

“He’s alright, Mr. Miller. Kind, decently groomed, respectful,” you replied, flicking through your Twitter feed mindlessly. “Better than most college guys.”

“Did he pick you up?”

Your forehead scrunched up. “I ordered a cab.”

“Did he at least get the door for you?”

“It’s not exactly the 1900’s, is it?” you quipped back at him.

He raised his eyebrows, waiting for your answer.

“If you’re that curious, then no.”

“Well then, did he pay for dinner?”

“No, well.. I did offer for us to split it,” you reasoned.

“Well, sweetie, he’s not too respectful. Is he?”

“Yeah.. but he’s cute.”

He’s cute and you’re desperate to get over Mr. Miller. Terribly so. At first, the entire situation with having your pornstar crush be the head of your host family was hilarious, it’s a joke written by itself. But then the desires went through the roof in a matter of weeks and you’re sure that you’d actually jump him one of these days. He’s attached to the back of your mind like some ghostly presence. Everything he said and done carved at your brittle wall of determination and one day it’s all going to fall apart like broken glass. You needed to stop it from happening. 

There was a minute or so where he didn’t have anything to say. He hadn’t let go of the handbrakes either, though he appeared to be squeezing the leather cover of the steering wheel tighter.

“Cute ain’t enough for a man, sweetheart.”

Mr. Miller finally pushed down the handbrakes and released the pickup truck from the small parking lot. His large hands skillfully turned the wheels to fit through the tiny gaps, guiding the vehicle towards the open road. You shut your eyes for a good minute, then you let out a weighted sigh. Almost as if you’re a deflated balloon.

The drive was going to be a long one, considering the restaurant you’re on was in the heart of the town and Mr. Miller’s humble abode was more towards the outskirts. Would he continue preaching about the importance of Southern manners and being a gentleman? Because if he did, perhaps you’d just shut him up with a kiss.

“I’m just a little nervous,” you broke the silence.

“Because of the boy?”

“Sorta, yeah. It’s my first time..”

You clicked your phone shut, stuffing it on the cup holder next to the car stick. The entire conversation was making you nauseous. You had to press on the button on your left to slide down the windows in order to take in fresh air. Through the open window, a gentle breeze tousled the top of your hair, carrying with it the familiar scent of Summer in Austin. As he drove closer into the outskirts of town, the lights gradually faded behind into a sea of twinkling stars.

“First time in what?”

“In all this,” your hand motioned the idea abstractly.

“You’ve never dated?”

An enthusiastic grin snaked its way to his lips.

“I have! But it’s not- it’s not real. It’s middle school romance. We meet each other in the hallways, hold hands and giggle about it, then go on pizza dates,” you tried to explain. “I’ve never dated properly.”

“Why not?”

“Because,” you tousled your hair in frustration. “Just because, Mr. Miller. I’m not sure either. Maybe I’m just comfortable in my own little bubble?”

“Then this boy.. What’s his name again?”

“Simon.”

“Right, Simon. Are you thinking of dating Simon properly?”

“Maybe,” you muttered.

“Maybe I could teach you,” he paused. “Well, that is if you’d like this old man to teach you old tricks.”

Your hands tightly clutched the edge of your seat. A rise of bile disturbed your throat's peace as a knot of anxiety started to form in your stomach. This is what you’re working towards.

You didn’t want to admit it, because admitting means legitimizing what you had in mind, but you were hoping for him to offer you help in any way that he felt was right. Despite your.. odd relationship with him, he was your guardian and you’ve seen the way he dealt with all Sarah’s problems with soft-spoken words and fair actions. You trusted him to help you delve into this new world of adult romance, but it’s not like you’re expecting for him to agree on it. Shit, shit, shit! You couldn’t think straight.

“Com’on then. Tell me what you’re so nervous of.”

“You’re gonna laugh at me,” you groaned.

“I’m not!”

“You are,” you persisted.

“Fine. I promise not to laugh.”

You took a deep breath. The single word sticky on the end of your tongue.

“Sex.”

The pickup truck swerved.

To your surprise, instead of howling and laughing at your lack of experience, he was quiet. Awfully so to the point where you think you’d rather have him laugh at your patheticness instead of giving you the cold shoulder. You rolled the window back up, giving him your full attention as you waited for him to do something. He looked tense; the grip he had on the steering wheel was so tight you could see the leather developing crescent-shaped marks. What was he thinking of?

“Do I.. do I have to give you the talk?”

“God, no! Mr. Miller, I’m not clueless,” you looked horrified that he even considered giving you the birds and the bees talk. “I am, but I know what happens.”

The hours you’ve spent analyzing each and every one of his videos surely made an impact on how you view sex. Perhaps not the most accurate one, since you were merely looking through a 720p video and not being present in the scene, but you knew how sex goes. How it starts, what arousal looks like, what appears to feel good and what doesn’t, and how good an orgasm looks like when induced by another person. Mr. Miller might not be aware of how much he’s taught you. Not directly, but in a cause-and-action kind of way.

“Then what are you afraid of?” he hummed.

“Making a mistake,” you muttered dejectedly. “Of it not feeling good.”

A beat passed.

“Do you..” he struggled to speak properly. “Do you want me to teach you?”

What were you thinking! It was one thing to harbor intense, disgustingly filthy feelings towards a man who perceived you as an addition to his family, but it was another thing to act on it desperately. Your mind reeled back towards the exact moment when you agreed on his proposition. How you agreed on it instantly as if it wasn’t even a question, how you nodded your head miserably as if you were afraid that you’d miss this one chance, how you buckled your knees at the thought.

God, how pathetic can you be! You didn’t remember much after such a cathartic turn of events. All you managed to compile in that pretty little head of yours was that he took a different interchange, then slipped onto a highway towards.. whatever this place was.

It was on the outskirts of town. Opposite to where he lived. Big trees grew tall and heavy as they provided a mystique veil for the trailer house. You remembered the shade of peeling paint covering the outside, sky blue. The lanterns provided ample lighting for it to be spotted from a distance, but not enough to attract rowdy attention. Mr. Miller told you to come inside first while he secured his pickup truck properly. He mentioned a thing or two about racoons or squirrels, but you were too high off adrenaline to even notice. Being in the property, you instantly knew where you were.

This was his lair.

Where he shoots his videos, where he invites all his pretty co-stars to make them moan and whimper about how good his cock felt and how deep it went, where he edits those striking millennial-core thumbnails. Your throat grew dry and you began to think if it’s time to bail. He’d understand, wouldn’t he? Mr. Miller would just take you home and forget about it. Then, by next summer, you’d be out of his hair and he’d never even think about it.

A creak sounded from the front door. You jumped.

“Hi, sweetheart. You okay?”

You nodded. Your entire body went cold, especially the tips of your fingers and toes as you saw him come close. One step at a time. Almost as if he’s trying to make sure he doesn’t scare you too much. Mr. Miller looked awfully big up close. You never seemed to notice this entirely when you see him around the house, but when he’s confined in this miniscule trailer house, he looked massive. His presence towered over every last bit of your confidence. It’s surely crumpling - your confidence - slowly dissipating into thin when he was flushed against your chest. 

“I’m okay, Mr. Miller.”

He pulled a foldable chair from one of the open compartments, before taking a seat on it. He spread his legs, as always, and had this look in his eyes. 

“You sure you wanna do this?” he paused, before resuming. “You could tell me you don’t feel like doin’ this anymore and I could take you home. Won’t talk about it anymore if you don’t wanna.”

“I.. I want to do this, Mr. Miller.”

“Are you sure? There ain’t no pressure in this. I’m simply here to help you, sweetheart, so if you feel like-”

“I get it, okay, I get it. I trust you. A lot. And I know you’d be the best person to teach me.”

What were you even saying? This was straight out of your wildest wet dreams and perhaps that’s why you’re so adamant about it. You watched silently as he contemplated his choices. Mr. Miller scratched his beard for a short while, his gaze focused beyond you and you could almost watch in real-time how his morals and values crumbled onto the creaky floorboards. He stood up from his small chair and headed right towards where you were standing idly. Is this what May felt like in those videos?

“Alright, sweetheart. I ain’t a vocal man so this is gonna be challenging even for me,” he chuckled gruffly. “Every man has their way of settlin’ with their ladies, but I like ‘em stripped off their clothing first. So will you be a pretty thing and do that for me?”

For a second, you were as still as a rock. Entirely not used to having the person who initiated many if not all of your orgasms giving you these orders in real life. He’s right there in front of you, flesh and bones, telling you to strip off your clothing. It felt like a fever dream. You must’ve had a weird look on your face, because a grin started to form on those chapped lips of his.

Conscious of the mistake, you quickly reacted. Almost skittishly in a way as you pulled on the zipper that’s located on your right ribs. Your fingers fumbled with one another, as if it’s been braided into one, but you managed to loosen it after a few attempts. You slipped your right arm under the spaghetti straps, before you slipped the other one. The only thing holding your modesty together was your one arm that’s holding onto the support-less front flap of your sundress.

“Com’on now. It’s just me. You can act shy and adorable around Simon, but not this old man,” he teased.

You nodded, hesitantly letting your arms fall to the side. The terribly warm weather encouraged you not to wear a bra. Although you wondered if 3 PM you knew that you’re going to be engaging in some promiscuous agenda this evening. You looked up into his eyes for some kind of guidance, in which he responded with a curt nod, before you tugged on the dress so that it’d slide onto the floor.

Now the only piece of modesty you’re wearing is your plain white panties. Your breasts were entirely exposed, cold nipples firming up as it reacted to the change of temperature. This is embarrassing! Mr. Miller was being incredibly methodical in the ways in which he approached the situation, lacking sloppy mouthy kisses and feverish touches.

“Smart girl,” he complimented, almost on instinct. “Let’s get on the bed, yeah?”

You moved adjacent to him. Mr. Miller was gentle when he patted the spot next to him, allowing you to settle down properly while he fixed a pillow behind your back. To think that you’re positioned on the same bed where you’ve witnessed him please an array of girls made you feel some sort of way. A hitch in your heart, a twitch in your hole. You’ve never witnessed him this gentle. He’s always fond of establishing the power he held on the dynamic he’s presented, always telling girls what to do in quick succession and calling them humiliating names if they fail to do as told. With you, he was sweet and rather funny.

“In my experience, one of the things girls like the most is to be withdrawn from control,” he spoke up into the thick air. You didn’t miss the way his eyes cruised along your beaded nipples, or the way it watched you with feral precision. “Of course, it depends on the person. But you. I think you’re a sensitive one, are you?”

You nodded obediently.

“Cross your arms behind your back,” he ordered and watched closely as you followed suit. “Lean back onto the pillow.”

You copied his order. Only then did your finicky brain finally compute that you’re limited off your movements now. With your body weight acting like paper weight for your arms, it’d be impossible for you to react in quick time.

“Good girl.”

His mindless comment made you tighten your thighs together.

“I’m gonna touch you, okay?” he whispered gently. You could watch how he’s slowly approaching you with much caution. His arms caged you in as it dug into the tangled sheets next to you. He’s testing the currents, making sure you’re fully consenting to the experience before he makes any mistake that might ruin your perception of sex. “Ask your little friend to touch you slowly. None of that frisky aimless touching. If he pulled on your nipples and called it a day, I’d leave his ass.”

This little routine he had, the one Wicked Fantasies had, was memorized into your head and to watch it take place right in front of you made you ecstatic. He caressed the side of your face. Gently even with those big, large fingers of his, he managed to take up a good portion of your cheek. Mr. Miller then made his way to your lips. He swiped it once over your upper lip, then another time over your thicker bottom lip. You’d anticipate for him to stick his thumb in deep enough so that he could see your uvula properly, but he didn’t. Instead, he settled on pressing down your tongue as if to pin it against the lower floor of your mouth. A good amount of saliva was collected that when he pulled away, a lewd string remained intact.

“Do you know why I like pinning a girl’s tongue down?” he queried to increase comfort in a way.

“No,” you whispered breathlessly. “Why?”

“It makes ‘em docile,” he muttered. “Encourages submission and I like a pretty girl who listens.”

Mr. Miller’s fingers dragged through the curves and texture of your warm skin, leaving goosebumps on his wake, before he finally reached your two perky nubs. Each one hardened before he could give them the treatment they both deserved, which in a way broke his routine, but instead of being irritated, he appeared to be pleased.

Girls in his videos weren’t as sensitive as you. They didn’t get riled up just by a little touching and teasing. Seeing you like this was a refreshing touch. One that made the wrinkles on his forehead ripple as his eyebrows quirked. He circled his calloused finger around where the pigmentation started. Once, twice. Right until he was merciful enough to press against the apex of your nipples.

You squirmed.

“So sensitive, are you?” he cooed. “Tell Simon to play with your sensitive little nipples, hm? You look like you could cum just by this.”

“O-oh please!”

“Please?”

You couldn’t respond. Not when he’s rolling the most sensitive part of your nipples between the pads of his thumb and the side of his pointer finger. Touching your breasts with your own nimble hands felt nothing like what he’s doing right now. You instinctually grinded your leaking pussy down onto the bed, almost like an animal in heat.

“Poor thing couldn’t even tell me what she wants. What would Simon think, hm? A girl with no self control like you,” he hummed. Mr. Miller quickly held onto your thighs so that you’d stop rocking onto the bed and getting off from pleasure he’s not offering. Your eyes met his, searching for help, but the sweet and respectful Mr. Miller wasn’t there anymore. “Alright now, sweetheart. You have ta make sure that you’re thoroughly aroused before thinkin’ of even touchin’ this place.”

“You’re new at this,” he hummed. His fingers slipped off the hold he had on your nipples before it slid down your stomach and settled precisely above your clothed clitoris. “It’s gonna hurt bad if you’re not properly lubricated. Sex is supposed to be fun, not painful so if some guy tells you that it’s supposed to hurt, don’t listen to his dumb shit.”

Mr. Miller was incredibly informative if you put aside the fact that he’s touching you in all the right places that it’s making you go dumb. He spent the time explaining why an action must be provided and how to perform it, when you know for a fact that this is not what he’s used to doing. Wicked Fantasies was known to be straight with words, using minimal sentences to provide his co-stars with just the right amount of information. You could tell he’s holding back the urge to be meaner, to act the way he likes, just for you to be more comfortable.

“Let’s take a look, shall we? You think I did a good job, darlin’?”

It’s dark out. There’s only one source of light that’s present in the room. A small bedside lamp in the shape of an elephant, Sarah’s favorite animal that’s grown to be yours as well. This session with him felt intimate; you’d expect for him to bring out the bright light panels and reflectors just like in those videos you watched of him, but instead, he mostly depended on the moonlight rays.

You were acutely aware of how those dark eyes of his mirrored your own. The way he studied you was unlike any other, not with an invasive intent, but rather with heed. You watched as he hooked his fingers on each side of your panties. Slowly dragging it down, only to stop to wait for you to ease your thighs upwards.

“Look at you,” he chuckled. “I’m right about you bein’ sensitive. Don’t think we need any lube when your pussy looks like this.”

By instinct, you brought your thighs together, shy that he’s observing you with such vulgar intensity. He hummed out a tone of disapproval and quickly placed his arms on both of your knees, prying the two apart as if he’s opening a stubborn can of bolognese. You bit your bottom lip, stifling the noise of embarrassment.

Anxiety bubbled up inside of you. You wondered if you looked okay down there - no other men had seen it besides him! - or if there was something strange that caused him to halt. There was a lewd string of sticky arousal pooling on the center of your panties. You silently watched as it stretched and broke as Mr. Miller pulled the thin fabric away.

“You’re soaked, sweetie,” he teased.

“Mr. Miller, that’s- that’s embarrassing..”

“You like to touch yourself, don’t you?”

Your eyes flickered towards his direction in fear. Has he discovered your incurable obsession for him and his erotic videos? That couldn’t be, could it? There’s no scientific correlation between being extremely aroused with masturbation as far as you’re aware, but the confidence he exude made you doubt yourself. Mr. Miller moved in a painfully slow tempo, taking his time to caress your inner thighs and stomach before even considering touching you where it ached. His calloused fingers felt different against your skin. It left a fiery trail in its wake.

“No, I don’t,” you lied with a breathless squeak.

“It’s okay if you like to touch yourself, y’know,” he whispered as if taunting you. “Girls who like to touch themselves understand themselves better.”

Mr. Miller finally touched you properly. His pointer finger probed against your clitoris, touching in the lightest feathery manner possible that you couldn’t have felt it if you weren’t concentrating. Your hips followed the brief source of pleasure, only to be disappointed when you notice that he wasn’t there. He pulled his finger close to his mouth and made a big show out of it. The way your arousal glistened under the pale moon rays, Mr. Miller teased you with his expressions and mannerism. He dipped the stained finger in his lips to have a good taste while keeping  eye contact.

“Please touch me.”

“What was that, sweetheart?” he hummed.

“Please touch me again. It feels go-”

You were cut off immediately when he lazily drew a perfect circle on top of your hooded clit.

“Fuck, please, please, sir.”

Ah, he liked that. He liked the new name you’ve granted him. Mr. Miller was kind enough to resume what he was doing. His finger descended down onto your throbbing hole to gather a good amount of slick before he brought it up to aid his ventures.

“The best way to feel good is controlled pleasure. It feels better to be denied than to receive boring continual pleasure, so..” he paused his movement all together. “I’m gonna teach you a little game.”

“A little game..” you sounded like you’re about to cry from his sudden withdrawal.

“Count to ten, properly. Then I’ll reward you with more. If you fail, then we gotta start from the very beginning,” he explained. His warm breath fanning over your sensitive clit. “You think you can do that, pretty girl?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll start now.”

“One, two..”

You felt how he made his laps around your nub. It was much more intense than the pleasures you’ve initiated before. Compared to rutting against a pillow, grinding against a bedpost, or laying under the tub’s running water, this felt like an entire new experience. You fought to keep still, but it’s gradually getting harder when his finger starts prodding against your tight little hole.

“Three, four. Please, Mr. Miller. Oh god,” you whimpered by accident. He didn’t like that one bit by the look he gave you. There weren’t rules and promises to this, no dynamic the two of you have agreed on, but you couldn’t help but be terrified of his disapproval. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, sir.”

“From the start,” he ordered.

“One, two, three..”

You could barely remember the numbers in your head despite encountering them almost every day of the week. You’re a smart girl, knows your ways around things, but being touched by Mr. Miller makes you go all dumb.

“Four, five, six..”

Your thighs began to twitch and spasm. You catched the way he pulled back the hood to your clit to get a more direct touch. It was working wonders as the sensation now is a lot more electrifying. Arousal dribbled down your twitching hole and onto the crack of your rear, wetting the sheets beneath you with the sticky clear substance.

“Seven, eight, n- nine!”

You jutted your hips out when his fingers brushed over your clit once more, the sensitive bundle of nerves extra aware of his presence, and he managed to hold you back once more. He’s forgiving. You knew he’d punish his co-stars if they couldn’t stay still like you, but he let this one slide. He continued rubbing slow, tight circles only to alter into an eight shape.

“Ten.”

The ultimatum. It has arrived, your key to heaven.

“Smart girl,” he cooed, never actually stopping. “This little hole of yours looks neglected, hm?”

“Yes, pleasepleaseplease.”

“Touch your clit slowly like I taught you,” he ordered. “You can do that can you, sweetheart?”

You nodded, distraught and ruined. With his sweet permission, you pulled one arm out from your back and rested it right above your clit. Slow and steady. Just like how he ordered. Mr. Miller on the other hand was slicking up his pointer finger with his tongue. Fuck, that looks so god damn hot.

He had pressed his sole finger deep into your warmth with no hesitation whatsoever. The combination of his calloused finger against your walls and the golden freckles inside his narrowed irises had you reaching out for his forearm. Your nails came in contact with his skin as you dug upon it, crescent shapes formed in pinkish shades atop his skin. You had to sit up as the only way you’re getting through this is by leaning on his sturdy arm.

“Oh, you like that, huh? Filthy girls like you love to get their holes filled?”

What you didn’t expect was having him press a second finger in. His one finger was thicker than what you’re used to, but two fingers? That makes you an overachiever for sure. You looked up to meet his eyes frantically. You knew he wouldn’t be kind enough to withdraw the action when his mind is already set on it, but it was worth the try. He cocked his head arrogantly as he pursued his plans. Mr. Miller’s middle finger was a tight fit. Barely able to slip past the ring of muscles. Though when he did manage to get himself in, a loud moan escaped your lips. 

“Mr. Miller. I can’t- I’ve never- never taken two fingers!”

“I know you can do it, sweetheart,” his free hand went over to run over your sweaty hair, admiring every inch of you. “You wanna please that boy, don’t you? Little Simon?”

He was skillful with his fingers, perhaps from his job requirements. Although it’s still incredible how he managed to have you squirming, yelling how you’re about to cum in a matter of seconds. All he did was switch between pumping the two in you, creating the filthiest sounds, and reaching upwards to hit that certain spot of yours. You rubbed your clit with much concentration as you followed after his thrusts.

“Mr- oh.. Mr. Miller! I’m gonna cum, sir.”

“You’re gonna do that for me?” he grinned, pushing his fingers into you as deep as they could go. He maintained a steady pace, emphasizing pressure on that spongy spot up top that you’ve never managed to reach with your stubby fingers. “Pretty girl gonna cum from my fingers?”

“Yes, yes.. sir. Please.”

“Cum for me, darlin’” he whispered. “Show me how good you can be.”

Oh god, you're in a lot of trouble.