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angllicjk · 5 months

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𝐋𝐢𝐞𝐬, 𝐁𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Software Engineer! Jeon Jungkook X Famous Model! F Reader

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 8.1K

𝑺𝒚𝒏𝒐𝒑𝒔𝒊𝒔: No one thought Jungkook would show up to the company’s annual Christmas party with the fiancé they were sure he was lying about until he showed up with you wrapped around his arm. No one would believe the fact that he tied you down. The stunning well known model whose face is plastered all over billboards and ads around the city and across the world. After all, what are best friends for?. You’ve always had his back and imagining you were his for the night didn’t sound so bad, but him rethinking your friendship this night in particular had you in shambles.

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬/𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬: angst, fluff, abandonment issues, attachment issues, insecure jk, shitty coworkers, emotional constipation, hurt, comfort & making out.

To think he’s actually having a good time for once at the company’s annual Christmas party is beyond him. This year it was held in an extravagant hall in the heart of the city with a sparkly chandelier glinting overhead and decorated in so much holiday cheer it filled him with momentary excitement as well. Jungkook isn’t really one for celebrating holidays that often and if he could have skipped out this evening he would have done so in a heartbeat if it wasn’t mandatory. Although, having you here makes it all the more worth it and the reason why he wears the bright smile on his face. No one’s ever seen Jungkook smile that huge or stand out so lively before than his usual quiet self during work, staring at him like he had grown a second head. You’ll always be the reason why he smiles or the exciting sensation coursing through his veins whenever you're close as if he’s on cloud nine.

The looks on all of his coworkers' faces were priceless. They weren’t so subtle with it either. Of course no one believed him. No one would understand why someone like you was with someone such as himself. Two completely different people with completely different lifestyles and statuses. Even now, when he’s talking with his lead and cubicle neighbor, watching you dance in the center of the venue with the girls in his department. Upon first arriving through the double doors most of them rushed over asking for pictures and autographs from you. In awe at the sight of your beautiful self in person and not just in a magazine or on tv and billboards.

“There’s no way that’s all yours.” Matt can’t seem to take his eyes off of you and as much as it annoys Jungkook, he can’t blame him. You’re gorgeous, even more so when you’re just yourself and having a good time. He can’t help the way his eyes are glued to you as well. A smile spreading across his lips watching you have fun.

“I’m gonna be honest Jeon. I thought you were lying about the whole thing.” Stanley (his cubicle neighbor) perks up beside him, tearing his gaze from you to Jungkook.

“How did you two even meet?.” Matt suddenly asks in deep curiosity with a pinched brow. Looking as if he were solving the most complicated math equation from the top of his head.

For a moment, Jungkook is thrown off, but he shouldn’t have been so surprised that anyone would ask him that million dollar question. He still remembers the day so clearly and it always has him smiling in thought when he thinks back to it, chuckling to himself as he reminisces to that particular time in his life where everything changed so drastically.

Jungkook takes a swig of his sparkling champagne, needing the liquor courage before he begins the story of how you two met.

“Oh, uh, well, it was pretty complicated. I was on my way to campus and at a stoplight when I saw her, the only one still walking out onto the street.” He pauses briefly before he continues. Matt and Stanley listen intently to every word he speaks.

“She was talking on the phone so she wasn’t aware of the semi coming straight ahead. I didn’t want to be traumatized so I ran and tackled her out of the way onto the sidewalk.” Jungkook further explains, moving his hands about as he does so animatedly.

“Wow…you saved her life.” Matt’s eyes enlarge with surprise written all over his face. He couldn’t believe it. It sounded like something straight out of a classic rom-com or k-drama.

“Although she did get mad at me first for getting her expensive outfit dirty.” Jungkook chuckles with a shake of his head.

He remembers the pretty and stylish pink Channel plaid combo you wore. Of course, that’s all you were worried about at the moment. There were harsh dirt lines imprinted on the bottom of your skirt. It even made him wince at the sight of the ruined fabric.

“Oh my gosh!. It’s going to take me forever to get this stupid dirty stain out!. How could you!?.”

It confused the hell out of Jungkook and he was in disbelief at the words that fell out of your mouth, looking at you like you were out of your goddamn mind. Shouldn’t you be thankful for the fact that you’re still alive?.

“Are you serious?. I just saved your life!. You could be dead right now, like splattered on the ground, you know that!.”

“Wow, no wonder.” Matt says with a chuckle in amusement, bringing Jungkook back from his deep thoughts.

“She probably thinks she owes you, so she stuck with you after that incident.”

What Matt said had Jungkook frozen solid in place, his smile slipping from his lips. That single thought never once crossed his mind. Even a few days later after that incident when you stumbled upon him again and properly apologized. You bought him coffee and sat down with him at a cafe after his class.

Jungkook knew Matt was most likely trying to find something to make it make sense in his own envious head, however, his words ended up sticking to him.

He always was an over-thinker and Jungkook starts to wonder, falling miserably into the rabbit hole of doubt and questioning with a heavy heart.

The soft and sensual melody of a slow song starts, lights dimming and you turn in your heel finding Jungkook sitting at the reserved table in the corner alone seemingly in deep thought.

When you come near he only offers a small smile, it doesn’t quite reach his eyes and it only makes you wonder if something was wrong. But it’s his night and you don’t want to press the matter if it’s nothing to worry about. Instead, you want to ease those worries and dance with him like you’ve longed to all night.

“Dance with me?.” Your hand gently encases his bigger one, slightly tugging.

“You owe me, just this once.” You softly utter with a tiny giggle. A precious smile on your red lips.

He hesitates a moment, looking up at you and for a second you think he might not be up to it but Jungkook slowly gets up from his seat and lets you lead him to the dance floor where everyone else is coupled up.

Taking your palm as his hand holds your waist gently, you rest your arm over his shoulder and your eyes meet his. They glimmer prettily with something he’s never seen from you before. It makes his insides feel mushy and heart skip two beats.

You’re breathtakingly beautiful in your sparkly white designer dress and you’re in his arms where he always wants you to be.

Do you even want to be in his arms?.

Do you really want to be here with him?.

Those doubts come full force and it stings his chest, caving in with a weighted feeling.

You’re only here to be his fake fiancée just because his coworkers constantly teased him being late twenties and still alone, thinking he couldn’t pull someone. He only wanted to prove them wrong, even though it isn’t true and they weren’t far off about him having trouble in the love department. It’s pathetic really. Maybe you actually pitied him. Maybe you think he’s a loser too just like everyone in the office thinks so.

Jungkook’s not even sure if he were to properly ask you out, if you would agree. Would you?. He’s seen the handsome men you’ve modeled with in ads and photo shoots. He’s not as cool as they are and he surely doesn’t have the status to compete with them or keep up with you.

Compared to you and the kind of life you lead, he’s plain and boring. His life isn’t so interesting and it wasn’t even before you showed up. You’re the interesting one. The fun and outgoing one. The life of the party living a luxurious and fascinating life because of the stunning looks you were born with.

But they don’t know the real you he gets to see on a daily basis. When you hang out and spend the nights with him. You beside him on his couch in just a plain hoodie or t-shirt and comfortable bottoms, hair thrown in a messy bun or just down, letting your pretty locks flow. When you laugh real hard about something you show him that you thought was funny. He especially likes when you two just talk about anything and nothing at all. The intimacy and the comforting silence when no words need to be said as you sit or lay beside one another. It’s the simple things, the little things about you and with you that he loves. Jungkook loves you endlessly. Everything, all parts, the good and the bad.

As much as he loves you and thinks that he could be the one for you, Jungkook isn’t so sure that you’d give him a chance. You’re just friends, but sometimes he wonders why you are friends with him in the first place when you’re living in the fast lane and he’s not.

Maybe this was a bad idea. This sudden rude awakening is starting to eat him alive and he isn’t so sure how much longer he can endure it for.

You’ve never felt so content swaying in his arms and watching the man that makes you feel like the happiest gal in the world. More than walking into your closet mall does, more than your beloved diamond earrings you wear every single day because of how beautifully they sparkle and much more than when you’re strutting down the runway. You love it, of course you do, but you think you love Jeon Jungkook more.

He looks absolutely handsome tonight. His hair is slicked back; it surprised you when you watched him style it in his bathroom, because he hates gel with a passion. Cute doe-eyes glittering like a perfect midnight sky with pink kissable lips and he smells amazing. You like how he uses the cologne you bought him for his birthday months ago. He’s always so pretty to you and you used to wonder why he didn’t have a girlfriend yet when you met him with how undeniably sweet, smart and such a gentleman he is. In your eyes he’s husband material. A literal dream. A part of you always thought he was just waiting for the right person.

His sweet pecks on your cheeks and lips, holding you close by the waist snugly, calling you his all night so lovingly. You crave for more of it and you only yearn for it to be real.

You really didn’t care if news got out later that you are now supposedly engaged due to showing up here to be his fake fiancé. At least other suitors will back off now that you are ‘taken’. You’re only interested in Jungkook. He’s the only one you’ll ever want.

Jungkook tears his gaze away, looking elsewhere beside you. You notice the small frown on his face and it looks as if he’s struggling with something internally, jaw tensing. It leaves you slightly confused and your worries from a bit ago come back when you try to catch his eyes, brows furrowed.

“Is something wrong?.” You ask carefully and when you do he meets your gaze once again. Only this time his eyes are filled with something that causes a crack in your heart. You don’t like the doubt you see in them. The hurt he’s trying to hide.

What’s going on?.

“Why are you still friends with me?.” Jungkook suddenly asks, voice slightly wavering towards the end.

“What?.” It leaves you breathlessly and now you’re more confused as to why he’s suddenly asking that.

What sprung this on?.

“Why didn’t you just move on with your life after I saved you?. You didn’t have to come up to me again and talk to me.” He manages through the thick lump he swallows after, face contorted with desolation.

“What are you talking about?. Why are you asking me this now?.” You whisper, sliding your hand from around his shoulder to cradle the side of his face gently.

His larger one cups yours and removes your touch, placing your hand back down as he speaks deliberately with hostility, eyes scrutinizing your being.

“Did you pity me?. You don’t have to owe me anything, you know that. I’m not one of your charity cases.”

His words fill you with great betrayal and a quickening rage of your own that you momentarily try so hard to simmer down at a time and place like this. You’re at a loss for words. The sudden shift in atmosphere tensing between the two of you is like a thick blanket. His sudden shift in mood leaves a foul taste in your mouth and you really don’t want to get upset in front of everyone.

There’s already a few looks the both of you have drawn from the harsh whispers.

In an instant, you take his hand and lead him with you out of the venue into the empty hall, the clacking of your Dior heels tapping roughly against the marble pavement.

“Trouble in paradise.” Jungkook faintly hears Matt chuckle with two co-workers on the way out. It only fuels his irritation.

You pause and let go of his hand, facing him with a fire in your eyes he’s never witnessed before. You’re absolutely livid and for a moment he falters underneath your firm gaze.

“Are you fucking serious right now?. Why would you possibly think that?.” Your voice raises, filling the silence that lingers around you in the empty hall.

“Because no one ever fucking stays!. No one ever does, Y/N.” Jungkook raises his voice as well, almost a shout. Frustration laced in his deep tone of voice.

He pauses and swallows thickly, sighing as he throws his head down. A hand comes over his face in agitation before he meets your glossy eyes once again.

“They only take what they want before cutting ties. They always leave and never come back. Most of the time I don’t even know it or pick up on the signs. It just happens. Sometimes I think…I think that you migh-” His words get choked up towards the end and you don’t let him finish.

You don’t want to hear him say it.

“I wouldn’t ever do that to you.” You state with a sternness, taking a step forward and grabbing his hand to take gently into yours for comfort.

“I don’t want that but I just feel like I’m holding you back sometimes.” Jungkook sighs exasperatedly, hand tightening over yours. With eyes stinging red of tears that he’s trying so hard to hold back and it’s a pain to witness. It hurts your insides to hear what he’s probably been feeling for a while now.

The anger you felt prior is tamed with the need to comfort him. It’s what he needs right now the most.

“But you’re not.” You press immediately with a shake of your head.

He’s quiet for a moment, more calm than he was before and then he asks,

“Why didn’t you take that offer in Milan?. You could’ve had more opportunities. You would’ve been thriving but you're stuck here with me.”

“I told you why.” You say in a soft whisper.

He’s caught you off guard with the sudden question and you shrink a little, mindlessly fidgeting with his fingers in your palm below you.

Milan would’ve been great. You knew it but you couldn’t do it. You told him you declined the offer because you felt comfortable at the moment here in New York and it felt too fast to settle in a whole new place when you’ve gotten used to this city already within this past year. Most importantly with the amazing offers you’ve got here.

“I didn’t believe it. I still don’t.” Jungkook shakes his head, eyes never leaving you.

“Was it because you felt bad to leave me here all alone?. Or the fact that nothing was ever gonna change for me?. You could’ve left and just forgotten all about me.”

As soon as the words leave his lips your head snaps up to look at him and your brows pinch deeply in pure anguish once again.

“Is that what you fucking wanted to happen?. For me to just leave and never come back?. It just sounds to me like you really don’t want me in your life.” You say and Jungkook winces, immediately shaking his head at what you’re insinuating.

“That’s not-“

“Do you really think that I feel that way?. Gosh, you’re so- so fucking- ughhh!. Do you really think that you're so undeserving of anything and that unlikeable?.” You’re seething, eyes blown wide in disbelief but mostly outrage. Your hands raise only to drop back down with a huff, shaking as if you really want to either pull your own hair or choke him out.

“You know why-“ Jungkook tries but you’re not quite done with your passionate spiel.

“I know, but you’ve always assumed the worst in others and you never tried again. I know you’re co-workers are assholes, fuck them. But there’s so many other people who would like you. Not all of them are so terrible, I mean, you met me, you have me.”

Jungkook wants to believe that, but he isn’t so sure. He was always alone and growing up he didn’t have any friends around. Middle school was hell and when high school came he’d gotten used to the loneliness. People weren’t always so kind, so welcoming and he hadn’t expected anyone to be when it seemed he’d only be hurt by the people he lets in. It didn’t mean that it still didn’t hurt.

His mother was all Jungkook had, but most of the time she’d just leave him be. Always so busy on her own, even when he’d need her the most. As a little boy it seemed they used to be much closer before his deadbeat of a father skipped out on them. Before his family ultimately broke apart. He doesn’t have many memories of the man and he doesn’t want them anyways. That mark of betrayal is deeply rooted and it’s a scar that will never heal.

Jungkook thought things would finally change meeting his first girlfriend towards the end of high school. Unfortunately, it only seemed to get worse. All she ever did was use him, humiliate him, make him so dependent on her that in those times when Jungkook really needed her, she wasn’t there for him at all. It only broke him. Left a complete mess out of him in heaps it was difficult to deal with. Another rough patch that hurt covering up new wounds and moving on from.

College was boring and with her out of his life, Jungkook was lonely once again and closed off like he was before. She made the pain worse and he didn’t know how to move on from it at first. Focusing on his studies and working hard at his internship in an office downtown was all Jungkook ever did. It paid off well and he has a good job doing something he’s passionate in. Yet, Jungkook was still terribly miserable alone. Something he’s always hated but had to live with. The lonely and gloomy world he was living in, he desperately tried to survive it day by day. Busying himself with school and work so he didn’t have to be alone with his thoughts all of the time. It’s much worse at night when trying to get some sleep, he’d never been so restless before.

A bright beam of light is what you were coming into his life. His only hope shining through the dark clouds and lighting his whole world up. Breathing life into his lungs he nearly forgot what it was like. It scared him at first and he didn’t want to let you in, but Jungkook was a sucker for a gorgeous face and how sweet you actually were when getting to know the real you. You’re all he has now and because of his upbringing and deep scars of the past, Jungkook’s absolutely terrified that you’ll someday leave him too, but being the one to potentially drive you away hurts more than anything he’s ever felt.

There’s a sniffle and you're wiping the tears flowing down your pink cheeks. This hurts. To see you cry. To be the cause of that deep frown on your pretty face and those tears in your eyes.

“You just need to try, Jungkook. You’re a great guy, an amazing person. You’re so fucking smart, I’m always amazed when you talk your tech stuff. I love it. You’re so sweet, such a gentleman, they don’t make em’ like you anymore, it’s such a shame.”

His teeth nibble into his bottom lip so hard, trying not to break at your heartfelt words. The genuinity and sweetness seeping through the seams. He can feel it. He knows it. He’s not as strong as he is because tears eventually slip out from the corners of his eyes.

You pause with a deep sigh before speaking up once more, taking one step close to his side once again, but you don’t take his hand, you don’t come any closer. It feels as if you’ve put some invisible boundary and he so badly wants to reach out to you, to take your hands into his, but he knows he doesn’t deserve to.

“To answer your stupid ass questions from earlier, I stayed after that day because I liked what I saw and what I got to know the more I stuck around.” There’s a sternness to you, as if you’re chiding some kid who doesn’t know any better and the heated gaze you're giving him, he can’t handle it. Unable to look you in the eyes anymore because he recognizes the disappointment and sadness in them.

Jungkook didn’t think he’d ever see that look from you and he hates himself for putting it there.

“I wanted you in my life. I felt like I needed you in it because life would be better and it is because I’m not as happy when I’m not around you, you know. You make me feel that way.” Momentarily, your deep gaze softens and the corners of your lips tug up into a smile. He feels like falling to his knees at the sight because he misses it. Feels as if it’s been forever since he’s last seen it.

“You make me feel that way too. You’re the only one.” Jungkook says in an abrupt manner and he wants to say more but he can’t. He doesn’t know what to say or do to make this all better. He fucked up and he hates himself for ever doubting you when all you’ve ever been is kind unlike anyone else in his life.

“Well, right now you make me feel like I’m such a shitty person for simply being friends with you. For wanting to be around you. I’m not like those other people. The fact that you’d think I don’t actually care about you hurts and it makes me feel like you don’t even trust me at all.”

It’s like a punch to the gut and it’s getting harder to breathe. You’re slipping right through his fingers and he knows it. Jungkook never meant to make you feel this way. In the heat of the moment, he let himself take it out on you, all his personal doubts, worries and insecurities.

“I do!.” He nearly shouts, reaching out to you but you push his touch away before he could grasp you with a step back.

“You really don’t if you assumed the worst in me, like you do with everyone else.” You fire back in a huff and glossy eyes.

“I-I didn’t mea-“ Jungkook shakes his head rapidly, and when you attempt to walk away from him, he grasps your wrist tightly.

He can’t stand to let you leave. Not now when he wants you, desperately needs you. You’re like his lifeline and he’s trying so hard to hold onto it.

“Wait!. Please don’t go.” He pleads, desperately so and gently tugging you back towards him.

“I’m- fuck! I’m so sorry. I just- you’re the only good thing I have. You’re all I want and I don’t want to lose you.” His arms wrap around you, holding you close against him as if this is the last time you’ll ever see each other and you melt in his strong hold, caressing the back of his head gently. It breaks you and more tears slip out of your eyes. You’ll always be weak for Jungkook. You could never truly part from him. Never deny the man anything he wants or so desires, even if it’ll cost you. In this case, your heart. Jungkook is already the keeper of such, so what’s more to lose anyways.

“You won’t.” You softly murmur into his ear.

“Then please don’t leave.” He squeezes you a bit tighter, not wanting to let you go just yet. All he wants is to bask in your comforting touch and sweet scent that always calms him.

“I just needed some fresh air to calm down, Jungkook.” You murmured softly and when he pulls apart from you, you see his red shimmering eyes in despair. It doesn’t do good to your already frail heart. Seeing him hurt and so defeated isn’t something you ever want to see again. He doesn’t deserve the heartache and pain he’s had to deal with for so long.

Jungkook clears his throat, licking his lips before attempting to speak up.

“I’m sorry I was being a fucking idiot and targeting you like that. It was just-… someone said something and I clearly didn’t take it well. I’m so sorry for doubting you and our friendship. It was so stupid.”

You already forgave him and you knew deep down he didn’t actually mean it. It only stemmed from his worries and insecurities. It only saddened you because he doesn’t deserve to feel that way and you hate how people of his past have shaped him into thinking that he isn’t good enough. It’s not his fault.

“Everything’s okay. It did hurt that you were thinking that way, but I do understand you. I’m always gonna be here Jungkook and I'm not going anywhere either, even if you try to convince me otherwise.” You cup his face gently, passion burning in your eyes when you look at him to make him understand how deeply rooted your words and feelings are for him.

“You always put up with me and my stupid, miserable and insecure shit. Don’t you ever get tired of me?.” He then says, shaking his head as he looks down at the marble flooring below him.

“It’s not stupid. I’ll never get tired of you Jungkook.”

You could never get tired of seeing his handsome face nor simply being around his comforting presence. He’s all you want and need and there’s nothing else in the world you could possibly want more. You love everything about him. The good and the bad.

“Also I’m sure your co-workers only give you a hard time because they're secretly jealous of you. You’re an amazing person and you have great potential underneath your boring old English teacher aesthetic, no offense. Because babe, it’d be you on every billboard in the city and not just me.” You say with a proud smile on your lips and he could only chuckle, shaking his head at your words.

“Look, you don’t need people like that in your life anyways. They suck and they don’t deserve to know Jeon Jungkook. The smart, sweet and undeniably handsome guy that I have the pleasure of knowing.” You take his chin between your fingers and place a sweet kiss upon his cheek. It stirs butterflies in his stomach and sends his heart racing. He knows you only give him cheek kisses in a platonic manner, but it always gets him and makes him fall more for you each time. It’s sweet and he absolutely loves you.

“I wish I knew you throughout my early days. Middle school, high school and even college. It was just so fucking hard until I met you.” Jungkook admits, gazing down at you so lovingly. His hand finds yours and squeezes it gently before bringing it up to his lips where he stamps his own sweet kiss to the back of your hand. It steals your breath and you melt at the heart fluttering gesture.

“What made you think that way?.” You ask out of curiosity. He’d never said anything like that before or shared those feelings with you. So for him to suddenly question you and your friendship with him was startling to say the least, because you only ever had good intentions with Jungkook. Since that first day you met and this is something you don’t ever want to mess up. He’ll always be important to you.

He seems hesitant at first, eyes drifting from yours but he complies soon after.

“I told them how we met and one of them said that was probably why you stayed with me, because you felt like you owed me your life.” A dry chuckle tumbles past his lips and he shakes his head at the silly thought.

What total assholes.

“I swear. I will punch the fuck out of everyone in that office.” You omit with a huff, anger filling you all over once again.

Jungkook laughs, squeezing your palm in his tightly so you don’t stray too far in your frustration.

“I’m serious. I would for you.” You jab a finger in his chest lightly, a steely look in your eyes as you peer up at him.

Chuckling, he pulls you along with him to the bench just a few feet away. He knows your feet probably hurt in your heels to be standing this long.

He lifts a hand to smooth the side of your hair, fingers trailing to cradle your face in admiration. It causes a heap of butterflies fluttering in your stomach and the gentleness of his touch warms you up inside and out. It’s so good. So sweet. You like how he always seems to handle you with such care. Like a delicate flower or a fine and expensive glass that’ll break at first touch.

You watch him thinking as he gazes back at you and you wonder just what it is but he doesn’t seem to mind sharing it with you once he speaks up.

“Why are you so good to me?. You’re so perfect, you know that?. So gorgeous and a literal sweetheart. You weren’t mean to me ever, not like those other girls before who thought they could boss me around.”

The last part in particular has a brow rising in deep wonder.

“Did you get bossed around by other girls?.” You ask.

A sheepish smile lines his lips and he averts his gaze elsewhere, seemingly embarrassed by the thought.

“Sort of.”

Of course that will not fly by you as you ask further in slight irritation at the thought of other girls thinking they could take advantage of this sweet man sitting so prettily beside you.

“Who were they?. What are their names?.”

It only causes him to laugh and you like hearing it. It’s contagious and bubbly, you only want to keep him smiling and laughing.

“I’m glad you’re here with me, Y/N.” Jungkook’s eyes shine in pure bliss and he looks utterly content in the moment. As if he’s got everything he absolutely needs and nothing else matters.

For you, it’s the same feeling. Eyes matching his and you could only hope that he sees it in yours too. That deep down he actually knows just how deep it really runs for you. How much you care and love him.

“Well, where else would I possibly be?.” You let out a little chuckle.

There’s nowhere else you’d rather be.

“Milan.” He then says only for you to roll your eyes with a deep sigh.

“I thought we dropped that.”

“Why did you really stay?.” Jungkook prods further and when you meet his eyes once again you know it’s all he desperately wants to know. It’s been eating him up for a while now and he always suspected that there was more to it.

A part of you wants to drift the conversation elsewhere, try to steer his mind away from it but it won’t do any good. You only want to be honest. He trusts you after all and you don’t know when you’ll ever have the courage to tell him how you really feel. So why not now?.

With a deep breath, you calm your nerves and scoot a bit closer to him, eyes never wavering from his pleading orbs that seem to falter a bit.

“I stayed because I couldn’t imagine being so far away from you. The thought of not seeing you everyday, hearing your voice, it hurt. I love you so much. I’m in love with you Jungkook and I always want to be beside you. You mean more to me than a passing opportunity. There'll be many more in the future. But there’s only one of you and I want you more.”

He lets out a deep breath of relief he had been holding, glossed over eyes shutting for a second as he laughs a bit in elation.

“Fuck, I didn’t think I’d ever hear you say that, because I’m in love with you too, ever since the second day I saw you and we sat inside that cafe together. I didn’t think you’d ever feel the same way.” Jungkook confesses, happy to finally get out what he’s been bottling up for a long while now.

You love him back. You’re in love with him as well and Jungkook feels over the moon. He never thought you’d feel the same way or hear it from your lips. It feels amazing. It feels like a dream but he hopes that it isn’t because it’s too sweet to wake up from right now.

He feels your hand slide over his, entangling them together in your lap.

“Obviously, you’re wrong. I knew you were it for me the day you saved me.” You admit with a sweet smile.

His brows pinch confusedly at that.

“But you yelled at me because you got your outfit ruined.”

You roll your eyes with a shake of your head, a grin spread wide upon your face as you begin to explain.

“Only because I was nervous as fuck and I probably looked like a mess in front of you. I needed to look my best. Also it was Chanel!.”

Jungkook cackles loudly, unable to hold it in.

“You’re so goddamn unbelievable.”

“Shut up and kiss me.” You softly say, staring back at him with those pretty and alluring eyes of yours that has him doing exactly as you say, swallowing the lump in his throat along with his nerves.

He cups your jaw and brings you close till your lips latch onto one another. You feel soft and it’s gentle as he moves them slightly against yours. Your lips part and your tongue peeks out to swipe across his bottom lip. Jungkook groans and slips his tongue past your lips where they tangle together. It’s sensual and hot. Your taste is addictive. It’s all he ever wants to know. He pulls a moan from you as he suckles on your tongue and it gets heated very quickly. Both filled with a burning passion and desire to taste as much of each other as you could.

He pants heavily against you, chest heaving and your soft moans and sighs of pleasure only spur him on to pull more from you. At this rate none of you will ever pull apart nor be able to breathe again. As much as it pains him to, Jungkook parts from you, resting his forehead against yours. A breathy whimper escapes you at the loss of contact and the sound goes straight to his hardening cock beaneath his slacks. You stare intensely back at him, sultry eyes making him want to do even more to you.

It’s so needy and he’s never seen you like this before. He likes it. He smiles, still a bit out of breath.

“You taste better than I ever imagined.” Jungkook raspily whispers and you can feel his breath across your face. You already miss his touch, his lips, his taste.

With a teasing smile, you whisper back.

“You’ve imagined this before?.”

His grin widens and he laughs a little against you.

“Course I have, and more. You never leave my mind.”

You bite your bottom lip, trying to keep yourself together. He makes you feel all sorts of things. Your stomach and lower half always tingling whenever he so much as looks at you or touches your skin.

“Good, because you never leave mine either.”

“Now I’ll make sure I stay there forever sweetheart.” Jungkook pulls his head off yours, pecking your cheek with a sweet kiss that melts your heart.

“Let’s go back inside and show everyone how in love we really are. Also you owe me another dance.” You stand up and take his hand in yours as he moves off the bench as well.

“Screw them. I want to go back home where it’s just the two of us. I’ll slow dance with you in the living room until the night ends. Would you like to?.” He wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you close to his side and he kisses you gently once more on the lips. You’re just so damn irresistible to not kiss and hold all the time.

The sound of that is sweet and you like that, wanting to be alone with him as well.

“I’d love that very much.”

After giving you his coat to shield you from the cold, Jungkook laces his fingers with yours, leading the both of you down the hall and out the front entrance of the building with a beaming smile on his face of pure happiness.

Before the night started Jungkook didn’t think it’d end this way, but he’s so glad it did, minus the part where he let his emotions and insecurities get the best of him. Your his and he’s yours now. There’s nothing more he’s ever wanted in his life.

It feels like everything will finally be alright. It feels like maybe for once he can actually be happy and Jungkook could only hope that it’s always Sunny and beaming bright in his world with you, that those dark clouds and gloomy skies never come again.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed this! Love you all 🫶🏻

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igymsoftoman · 2 years

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Software for Gym Membership Managementin Oman

Software for Gym Membership Managementin Oman Do you searching for a Software for Gym Membership Managementin Oman? Gym administration software is a web-based platform that helps with membership reservations, payments, and class scheduling, among other things. The main benefit of a membership management system is that it may assist you in developing a proper marketing campaign based on the behaviours of your clients

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carmenberzattosgf · 3 months

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Carm helping you study and every time you get a question right you get a “reward”🥵

This has been in my ask box for a month. I deeply apologize anon. BUT ANYWAY YEAH.

You’re over at Carmy’s place. You brought along all the stuff you need to get homework done, but to no avail. No matter how hard you try you can’t focus on your homework assignment.

Instead of your homework, your eyes are focused on Carmy sitting next to you. He’s wearing a tight white tank top that shows off his arm muscles. It’s like he’s trying to distract you.

“Shouldn’t you be doing your homework?” Carmy asks. Your staring wasn’t as discreet as you thought.

“It’s hard to stay on task when you’re wearing a shirt like that, Carm. Besides, I already don’t want to do this shit in the first place,” you sigh.

“When’s it due?”

“Uh…” you check the clock on your phone. “Two and a half hours.”

“Dare I ask how much of it is done?”

“Um. None of it? Told you I didn’t want to do it.”

You can tell Carmy’s thinking by the look on his face. Suddenly, his expression turns into a smirk as he widens his leg on the couch. “Come here. Sit on my thigh,” he says, patting the fabric of his jeans. Eagerly you stand up, putting your laptop to the side. You face Carmy, about to straddle his thigh before he stops you. “Ah ah ah. Not so fast. Turn around the other way.”

“Okay…” You listen, turning around to sit on his thigh. As soon as you settle, one of his arms wraps around your waist, holding you in place. His other arm pulls your laptop closer so he can read the questions on the screen. You’re already squirming in his grasp, trying to move your hips against his thigh.

“I need you to stay still and listen to me, got it?”He tenses his thigh, putting pressure against your center.

“Y-yes.” You say, voice laced with need.

“Yes what? Don’t forget your manners.”

“Yes, sir. I’ll listen. Promise.”

“Good girl. This is how this is going to work. You’re going to lean over and type your answers to each question in this word doc you have open. For every question you answer, I’ll let you move your hips just a little bit more.” Carmy presses his lips right behind your ear, before biting down on the lobe. “You understand?”

“Yes sir.”

“Well then get started.” The idea of a reward gets your mind spinning. Your arms reach over to your laptop to begin typing. Carmen’s arm remains locked firmly around your waist. His mouth presses soft kisses against the back of your neck as you figure out the first answer.

“I finished the first one, s-sir.”

“Good job, sweet girl,” he praises into your ear. “You can start moving those hips for me, now. Nice and slow. Really slow.”

You grind your cunt into his thigh. The movement is slow, but it presses the seam of your pants right into your clit. “Fuck— Carm. Please—“

“Looks like you have…” he leans over your shoulder to look at the computer screen. “Three more questions left. Get back to typing.”

With every question you finish, Carmy guides your hips faster and faster. The kisses he plants on your neck grow to be rougher, nipping and sucking at the skin. You’re in the middle of typing in your as you feel your climax rapidly approach.

“C-Carmen I-I’m about to—“

In an instant Carmy’s arm stops the movement of your hips. “I didn’t say you could cum yet, did I?”

“No sir. You didn’t. I-I’m sorry.”

“Answer the question. You’ve been such a good girl so far, wouldn’t want you to slip up now so close to your reward.”

You type as fast as you possibly can. You don’t care if the answer is right anymore. It doesn’t matter. Once you finish it, you upload the document on your school’s software. “T-there. It’s submitted. I finished it.”

“There we go. I’m proud of you, baby. You got that done in record time despite the circumstances.” He laughs.

“Carmen. Sir— please.”

“What are you saying please for? Good girls use their words. You know that.”

“Need you, Carm. Need you so bad, please.”

“What do you need? Come on. You can tell me.” His mouth bites into the skin of your neck, right above your clavicle. The bruise will be visible for the next few days.

“Your fingers. Please! I need you to touch me.”

“That wasn’t so hard now was it?” Carmy unbuttons your pants, giving him enough room to slide his hand underneath your underwear. You gasp as his fingers make contact with your silt. “Holy shit— you’re soaked. Did I get you all worked up? Had no idea you needed me this bad. Poor baby. Where do you want me to touch you? You’ve been so good I’ll let you choose.”

“Please. Rub my clit. Need it—“ you don’t get a chance to finish your sentence before two of Carmy’s fingers begin to circle your swollen bud. He’s not gentle, knowing you’re already close. His other hand travels up your body to close around your neck. Carmen applied a gentle, but steady pressure to your neck, making you feel fuzzy.

He can feel you begin to completely relax in his arms. “Atta girl, that’s it. I’ve got you, baby, you can cum for me.”

A choked moan dies out in your throat as you tremble in his arms. Pleasure fogs up your head, coursing through your finger tips. You swear you black out for a moment, coming to with Carmy’s hand no longer around your neck. He’s whispering praises into your ear.

“God. Such a good girl. You were perfect, baby. Did everything I asked you.”

“Holy shit—“ you sigh. “Maybe I should get you help me with my homework every time.”

Carmen laughs at your statement. “I like the sound of that.”

#carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto #the bear #carmy berzatto x reader #the bear fanfiction #carmen berzatto smut #carmy berzatto smut #carmy berzatto #carmy smut #brain rot

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just-your-average-cryptid · 9 months

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ok I know fluff all about economics but. we really need to move away from shareholders and stocks

look at Lego. It’s privately owned, all the stock is in family/company hands, no shareholders. The bricks are made just as well, they’ve kept up good business, they’re doing great. No degrading quality or crappy tricks to increase profits, a set from the 90s will work just as well as a brand new one. Only real difference is more complex pieces (I did their monthly builds before they ended it a few years back, you can see the improvements over the years.)

now look at apple. Apple went public, they’ve got plenty of shareholders. Apple changed their charger ports to a proprietary version. Apple got rid of headphone jacks on their phones. Apple forces you to get a new phone by making apps only use newer software versions that old phones can’t get. Or just killing their battery.

yeah, these are two specific and very different companies, but the point is that businesses that answer to shareholders have to convince them to keep those shares. they want a return on their investment- line go up, more more more, bigger and better. Private companies like Lego don’t - they can keep doing the same thing forever, as long as it still works, and make small improvements along the way. You go public, you chain yourself to the infinite growth cult. And at a certain point, you’ve hit the max. There’s only so many people who need so many things. There’s only so much material to make or run things. You physically can’t keep growing forever.

now this bit is my personal opinion, but shareholders. don’t actually do anything useful. it feels like if I gave you $20 one time and then expect you to give me 0.5% of your paycheck every week after that. I didn’t do anything to help you get that money, but I gave you that $20, so I deserve it. actually, I deserve more. you need to work harder so I can get more money from you. otherwise I’ll take that $20 back, plus interest. you don’t want that, do you? no. so go do some 14-hour shifts and ignore your friends so I can get more money out of you.

you get what I mean? it’s dumb. it sounds really, really dumb.

do not explain the stock market to me I know how it works it’s still stupid

anyway

if we want to still have a livable planet and make real progress towards… anything actually beneficial to the general population and not ten guys with more money than god, we need to step away from shareholder control of businesses. it helps no one, it causes so many problems, it’s not good. deincentivize eternal growth and expansion, center people over profit. use over profit. longevity over profit. etc.

#it speaks #enshittification #anti capitalism #i mean it I’m not hearing 1000 explanations about the stock market shut up

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rattusn0rvegicus · 2 years

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Sometimes, when talking about the current psychiatric system, we get lost in anger and don’t look towards alternatives and what a better tomorrow might look like. Here’s some cool mental health/psychiatry reform things that I think are neat (Somewhat US centric bc that’s where I live). Lots of them focus on psychosis, because I think psychosis is a sorely ignored subject in mental health activism.

US Peer Respite Directory - A list of voluntary, community-based, non-clinical crisis support group-home like environments that are staffed by people with lived experience of mental illness and/or lived experiences in the psychiatric system.

Students With Psychosis - A nonprofit that empowers students with psychosis through virtual programming, support groups, etc. They’re run by the amazing Cecilia McGough, an advocate with schizophrenia.

Hearing Voices Network - A network of support groups for people who hear voices, see visions, and have other extreme experiences. Focused on supporting individuals without judgement and giving them a place to explore their experiences and grow from them.

Open Dialogue - An psychosocial approach to psychiatric services that focuses on treating clients with respect, shared decision-making, dialogue between client, providers, and family (if the client wants family involved), and more minimal use of medication.

CommonGround software - A software developed by Dr. Pat Deegan that allows clients to communicate their needs to their providers more efficiently to support shared-decision making. Dr. Deegan has a lived experience of being diagnosed with schizophrenia and believes in personal medicine and med empowerment.

Project LETS - A radical approach to peer support and healing that has a disability justice centered approach, giving people with lived experience a voice and focusing on mutual aid. They provide peer mental health advocates, self-harm prevention, and more.

Integrative Psychiatry - A holistic form of psychiatry that focuses on nutrition, exercise, therapy, and psychosocial factors, where medication is just an aspect of treatment. US database of integrative psychiatrists here.

Soteria Houses - Community homes with peer support that provide residents with personal power, responsibilities, and “being with” residents, that focus on a humane and person-centered approach.

Relating to Voices Using Compassion Focused Therapy - A self-help book by Drs. Eleanor Longden and Charlie Heriot Maitland about managing distressing voices and building a respectful, cooperative relationship with them. Views voices as potential allies in emotional problem-solving rather than enemies.

Clubhouse International - A non-profit organization that gives people with mental illness opportunities for friendship, employment, housing, educational, and medical services all in one place. It was founded by a group of friends who survived a psychiatric hospital together.

Psychosis Research Unit - A group of psychology researchers who are doing research on and developing psychotherapeutic techniques for coping with and managing psychosis, such as CBT for psychosis and Talking with Voices therapy.

#mental health #psychiatry critical #psychiatry reform #anti psychiatry #psych critical #psychosis #psych reform #mental illness #uhhhhhh idk what else to tag this with so people see it #social justice #neurodiversity #idk

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aimasup · 3 months

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just found some Valiant AU development sketches and notes in my old OLD sketchbook

I really thought it would be a webtoon

long post warning! And I mean long looooooooong post. If you get to the bottom and go "I'm not reading allat" I do not blame you

more under the cut:

^^^ OC

General notes:

This Valiant AU was meant to be a solarpunk superhero slice of life that slowly reveals a heavier plot, mostly focusing on character interactions and personal growth

White Hat Incorporated is a struggling, newbie business and clients are rare

The episodes can range from domestic shenanigans like fixing a leaking pipe or getting dinner, to running their business by defeating the villain of the week

The villains and heroes stay in their roles from canon. The only ones with major changes are our main 4 guys

All major information about White Hat would be discovered from the point of view of Lumencia and Zug as they realize that not only is PEACE corrupt, but that their boss is neither human nor demon nor alien

Now onto the characters themselves:

Dr. Zug Gleis

Like his name suggests, he likes trains. His train is also a drill that was an attempt to burrow out of government's arrest

Which he then modified into a laboratory, each train cart being a unique kind of laboratory for surveillance, medicine, etc. He sleeps very uncomfortably in cramped spaces and likes it that way

V.I.R.U.S is now a software he created and repurposed into his bratty computer assistant, now Cambot. She's also the one recording all their commercials and making his coffee. Basically Zug doesn't get along with ANY of his children

He doesn't like to leave his laboratories, so he set up a network of tunnels through White Hat's mansion that send and receive messages, inventions, food, etc. There's one little chute for these in most parts of the place

His arc was focusing on his inability to accept help from others because he sees any kind gesture as a possible way to control him. Even worse if the kind person genuinely means it, because he also sees accepting kindness as a handicap, a debt

His villainy was an easy way to make money and show the world his capability without any assistance from any hero or villain organization

Really, he just wants to be able to do whatever he wants, but his need to be the best or else he's the worst is tiring for him. Anger issues don't help

This stemmed from a past of constantly being bullied and compared to his brother, Goldheart

After dropping out of hero college, Zug became his own supervillain's known as The Mad Condoctor, whose theme was, you guessed it, trains. He stole trains, modified scrap metal, targeted stations and trade centers, held hostages, prepared puzzles for heroes to solve, etc

The Mad Condoctor was notorious for being uncooperative and a backstabber. He operated at night and was an expert in secret missions, spyware and tech-based combat and the likes

By the first season finale he would have genuinely cared for his coworkers but still didn't value his own life, so he let himself be taken in by PEACE. The crew have to go retrieve their idiot and many things about White Hat Incorporated are revealed to the public after they clash with their local PEACE headquarters

He finds authority annoying and hates seeing people kiss up. Mostly shameless in his actions and doesn't much care for other people's opinions. Can be honest to the point of hurting

So he is a terrible liar. It's like he's allergic to it or something. Prefers to lie by omission

Will only call White Hat 'sir' and 'jefecito' sarcastically or to get a point across. Unfortunately hopelessly devoted to him at the end of the series whoops

Lumencia

A superwoman with horse-like powers that decided to choose unicorns as her motif because that's way cooler. She has kicks and punches that convert her diet into energy, which is great because she loves eating

Changed it up so that Lumencia is the resident prankster and WH tells puns, not the other way around

She has a room with a slanted ceiling which she can climb out the window of to lie and chill on the roof. She's also converted that space, where flat roof meets slanted roof, into an outdoor cinema/gym, decorated with christmas lights. The mansion is a three-way clash of decorative styles from afar

She doesn't have a license to be a hero, but she helps out wherever she can anyway, stopping purse snatchers and helping lost children find their parents and such

In fact, she is actually one of the most beloved people in the little town they live near, with many residents familiar with her buffoonery but affirming her as a reliable source of help

She's also relatively well-known online, as she posts videos of her playing the guitar and well-intentioned but nonsensical 'Lumencia Tips', filled with terrible puns and comic-like ballpoint pen doodles

Her arc would have focused on letting herself acknowledge her strengths that aren't related to fighting

Shes very buddy-buddy with petty criminals and shop owners alike, able to strike up a conversation and make pals no matter who they are. Once she deems you chill, you can chill, yknow? This isn't on purpose.

Even though she has gross taste in food and is messier than Zug, her handwriting is very pretty and neat. She also is very good at graffiti and sticks to an aesthetic, with glitter and y2k stickers and denim-clad wizards on skateboards, all the works

She has a very straightforward view on heroics and is not big on plans, preferring to punch her way out of situations or annoy her enemies to tears. In fact, her main goal is to become an official part of one of the many PEACE-brand hero leagues.

There's other hero corporations too but PEACE is the number one in America

So one day she just showed up on White Hat's doorstep and never left because it would 'look good on her resume'.

Previously, she bounced from place to place, relying on connections and the occasional tip from her halfway-illegal heroism efforts to get by. She also doesn't remember where her powers are from, only that her parents worked at PEACE and where killed by 'villains' when she was a little girl

Her favourite place is the funfair because that's the last nice memory she had

By season two she would have started another arc where she learns that she was an experiment and her parents were killed by their own higher ups in PEACE to silence them, and she has to come to terms with why she even wants to be a hero as well as stand her ground when her optimism is challenged.

Lumencia's music is like whatever Equestria Girls and Electric Mayhem have going on. I think the genre is power pop? Either way it sounds like those elaborate 80s radical van murals look

Is an effortless liar in the sense that she says the most batshit things with utmost confidence and treats consequences like an afterthought.

Only calls White Hat 'White Hat' and not 'boss' when she feels the situation calls for it. Also unfortunately hopelessly devoted to him by the end of the series

624

An extra set of hands that cleans the place and helps out with their little business. Does not like being interuppted when listening to music

Goes from 'fucking hate these guys' to 'they give me food therefore they are mine' in the span of the entire series

Quite lazy, plays the winning side. Which is usually the heroes here

Dunno if I'd call his arc an arc. All I know is there's an episode where his spoilt teenager-ismd hits their peak and Zug and Lumencia have to reach an understanding with him by respecting his boundaries and helping him feel secure

And after that episode, 624 stopped being a total catalyst for disaster plotwise

White Hat

He is one of the comic reliefs and manages White Hat Incorporated, often making really stupid decisions because profit is not on his mind

The final voice I settled on for him was fucking Australian Markiplier

His "growth" would be the characters and readers seeing him to actually be a caring, experienced-in-heroics-but-not-business individual who gives really sound advice and becomes a source of comfort for his close friends

But is still a MEGA-PRICK. Every time he gets beat up it's for a valid reason

In canon, villainy triumphs because Black Hat is there. In the Valiant AU, the story is in the heroes' favour because White Hat is in his place.

I wanted him to be (mostly) opposite to Black Hat in many ways! BH's office is huge, minimalistic, corporate and cold, while WH's office is small, maximalistic, filled with sentimental items and like a warm cabin.

BH basks in hellfire and while WH does use fire, he prefers the ocean. BH enjoys golf, WH enjoys dancing. BH takes himself seriously, WH very much doesn't. BH detests everything, WH has an appreciation for everything. And etc...

They're still horrible creepy eldritch monstrosities, the fish theme for WH is just because he likes ocean shit and fish are scary

BH has made himself known globally and universally, he has statues and monuments and paintings

WH has nothing; White Hat is five years old. This is his first time being White Hat

But he's been around since the beginning of time, taking many forms and names, learning the wonders of the universe and giving all of his time to help however he could

He believed this to be natural, he's the one of a kind who doesn't need rest or food. He can't die or get really hurt, and would later learn he couldn't bear to love either

Some of the things he was included many plants and animals before the humans, then farmers and warriors, witches and politicians, an entertainer vigilante, a writer, a parent, a fur-clad warrior in the snow, guiding forces of nature, and a female pirate.

I wanted him to cycle through the entire alignment chart in terms of morality as he exhausted everything he could do to make a difference

After World War 2 on earth, his psyche gave out and he collapsed into a long, long nap; a shadow pooling in a lake, his favourite

Finally woke up and decided to take his own form not based on any species or star or tree, chose his own outfit and everything

And made his debut as White Hat, forged documents to start a small business for heroes support

He doesn't have an arc, but if he did, he would be in the midst of learning to let himself get attached again and be properly selfish. Maybe identity issues.

But he doesn't have an arc

And so really only serves to help out Zug and Lumencia. He's comfortable with no one knowing these things about him ever, because what would they even do if they did?

Wouldn't change anything, they wouldn't understand the full scope even, so he's at peace with himself right now, grateful that he's alive for once

He uses manipulation to direct conversations away from himself and get people to spill their feelings, or burrow into their trauma without using magic

if he wants he can let loose to trigger some kind of indescribable primal instinct within a person, that cripples them with terror and despair and love for the sublime face of something divine, bigger than the observable universe. He doesn't like doing this.

He's a fan of ice and shadow manipulation, he thinks the colours go well with his coat

Most animals hate him and he cries about it

He also cries when he tries to download an app on a laptop

He is a competent medical doctor, babysitter, and waiter. In fact, he seems to have infinite patience and calm when he isn't whining over dessert like a toddler

The human skeleton hanging in his office is real

Hopelessly attached to Lumencia, Zug and 624 by the end of the series but they don't need to know that

This AU will forever make me warm and fuzzy inside I love them so much, I had so many locations planned, started Pinterest boards and shit

Instead I think I'll take some of these things and apply them to my OCs instead! HUGE thanks to everyone who enjoyed this version of this AU while it lasted! Maybe it'll come back one day, maybe not. Likely not

#my post #my art #art from last year #villainous valiant!au #villainous heroic!au #villainous #villainous hbo max #villainous cn #miss heed #white hat #dr zug gleis #lumencia #624 #long post #not tagging all these characters

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detailtilted · 3 months

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Comic-Con 2008 - Enhanced Edition of Supernatural Panel

youtube

Direct link. Warning: Some of the special content I added has big spoilers for season 4 beyond the original videos.

This video features Jared, Jensen, Eric Kripke, Sera Gamble, and Ben Edlund. If you've already seen the original videos and you're wondering why you'd want to watch this, see the details about the enhancements below. For other enhanced videos, check my YouTube channel or my Tumblr index post.

Video Improvements - Upscaled, fixed bad aspect ratios, improved colors

I received a great deal of help from @sensitivehandsomeactionman on the color correcting. They gave me tips on how to achieve better colors and they even took a screen shot from my video and corrected the colors on it with their own software to provide me with an example of what was possible. Having that example to reference was invaluable for me, because I'm not good with colors.

Without that help, Jared and Jensen would have looked like they were in training to become the world's tallest Oompa Loompas. Any remaining color wonkiness (Wonka-iness?) is due to my own failure to apply what I was taught and my failure to see the colors properly. But look at that difference! I was pretty excited about this.

Combined Videos to Cover Entire Event

As with my other enhanced videos, I combined multiple videos to create as seamless a video of the event as possible, from beginning to end. For my earlier videos, that meant combining maybe 5 videos. For this one, I used a total of 19 videos from 3 different sources. A lot of those were used for the talking head bubbles, explained further below.

None of the videos are my own. My video description on YouTube has links to the original videos I used.

Good, Color-Coded Subtitles

As with my other enhanced videos, I attempted to provide accurate and as-complete-as-possible subtitles. They're color-coded to make it easier to tell who's speaking. This is especially helpful when people are speaking at the same time, or when the speaker is off camera.

Since there were so very many people talking in this video, I doubled up on a couple colors if I thought I could do so without it being too confusing. Here's the complete color key:

Red = Jared Blue = Jensen Brown = Eric Kripke Pink = Sera Gamble Purple = Ben Edlund Green = General audience Yellow = The person asking the questions. In the first half this is the moderator, Alynda Wheat. In the second half, this is the fan at the mic. White = Mostly the publicist (Holly Ollis), but a couple times it's used for people off camera who I believe were Comic-Con staff. Two shades of orange = surprise guests

Additional Clarifying Content

As with my other enhanced videos, I've added some images to help add clarity to the references used by the speakers. I added images of characters and scenes referenced from the show, images to explain various pop culture references, as well as some explanatory text to help add details or clarity when I thought it might be useful.

I mostly kept this extra content to the sides so that, if it doesn't interest you, you can hopefully ignore it and focus on the main part of the video. Unlike my previous videos, sometimes this is on the left side and sometimes it's on the right side. The margins shift depending on where the talking head bubbles are.

Talking Head Bubbles - Jared and Jensen front and center, but other speakers visible too

This "enhancement" isn't anywhere close to perfect, but it sure as heck isn't from a lack of effort. This represented at least half if not two-thirds of the time I spent working on this video.

I always find the Comic-Con videos frustrating to watch. When the camera moves to other people who are talking, I want to see Jared and Jensen instead. I like to see their reactions and sometimes they do funny things that get missed. But when the camera is steadfastly focused on Jared and Jensen, I also get frustrated because I can’t see the people who are talking. Nope, you can’t win with me! I want to see everything.

I attempted to mitigate this frustration by adding talking head bubbles. The main source videos I used were the ones with the most constant and stable focus on Jared and Jensen. However, if one of the other source videos had a decent focus on another guest, I inserted a small window into that other video as seen below. Eric shows up on the left, because that's where he was seated relative to Jared. Sera and Ben show up on the right, because they were on the other side of Jensen.

Like I said, it's not anywhere close to perfect. Trying to make the bubbles look stable was an enormous challenge for me. Behind the scenes the person in the bubble was bobbing and weaving all over the original video frame, so I had to constantly adjust the position of the secondary video to keep the subject centered in the bubble. They also aren't always bubbles. The people taking the videos often had the writers on the edge of the frame because they wanted to capture Jared or Jensen too, so the bubbles start to collapse when they get too close to the edge because there isn't enough video surrounding them to form a circle.

I haven't decided if the end result was worth how much effort I put into these darn "bubbles", so I'd welcome any feedback -- good or bad.

#enhanced edition con video #j2 #jared padalecki #jensen ackles #eric kripke #sera gamble #ben edlund #comic con #comic con 2008 #Youtube

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lunarmoves · 3 months

Text

through pixel eyes (chapter two)

pairing: DCA sun/moon/eclipse x reader

mentions: kinitopet/virtual au, gender neutral reader, general creepiness

a/n: i looked at this chapter for too long and it feels like ~garbage~ but! its here! take a shot every time i use the word "window" or "desktop" LMFAOO i'm going insane

word count: 6.8k+

masterlist | part one

ao3 link

You stayed up way too long last night, scrolling on your phone in bed, and now you’re paying the price for it. Namely, with a completely dead phone and a familiar, fatigued itch to your eyes once you manage to pry them open to start your day. It’s nothing you’re unaccustomed to, however, so you power through it knowing you’ll end up taking a nap later.

Fumbling out of bed, you plug your phone into a nearby outlet to charge and make your way through your morning routine. Cold water from your bathroom sink helps to refresh and wake you up properly so you can proceed with your tasks for the day. You throw open the curtains of your living room and kitchen so you can bask in the honeyed light coming from the sun, sweet and lush as it paints your walls a vibrant gold.

Breakfast is made, evaluations are done, forms are submitted—all before late afternoon. You thank your past self for all the leftovers you made to cruise you through the next few days. It’s always nice not having to cook in the evenings. You lounge around for a bit on your living room couch and indulge in a short nap before you plop yourself down in front of your computer for the long haul.

Navigating to your email, you pull up the submission form once more and fill out the basic information for now. You can’t even count how many times you’ve done this before for numerous other products. Companies tend to use the same generic questions, though sometimes they’re specific depending on what is being developed. At other times they don’t even require you to fill out a form and instead have you attend weekly meetings or update them via email. Either way, you can do shit like this in your sleep.

Alright, game time. You minimize the form’s window and double click on the FazPals icon as you fumble for your headphones. Nestling them around your ears, you watch in amusement as Sun pops up by sticking his head down from the top of your monitor like he’s perched upon a ledge just out of view.

“Friend!!” he cheers and waves both his hands at you zealously. You’re almost tempted to return the gesture. He swings the rest of his body down in a fluid flip and lands in the center of your desktop with a dazzling twirl. Confetti erupts into the air around him, the little digital strips of color disappearing once they float to the “ground” Sun stands on.

That same small, unlabeled window pops up at his side for you to type in. ‘hi sun.’

“Hello, hello! You’re back early!” Sun claps his little hands together and sways side to side rather jovially, bouncing slightly with each bob of his head. You have to raise your volume a little to hear his voice better, though the dialogue box near his head certainly picks up the slack.

‘yep. how r u doin?’ It’s so easy to slip into a typical conversation with him and push against the limits of his software. Whether that’s a good or bad thing, you’re uncertain.

Sun’s head twitches to the side, white eyes seemingly looking right at you. “Absolutely fantastic now that you’re here!” He winks at you, grin curling at the tips. “What would you like to do today?”

The textbox waits for your response. You purse your lips as you contemplate. What have you done with Sun thus far? He told you some fun facts and played games with you. That just left… ‘can u tell me a story?’

He pauses—minutely, very minutely—then resumes his swaying like nothing had happened. His rays jerk slightly outwards and he smiles in a mischievous sort of way. “Hmm, why don’t you ask Moon for one later? He is much better at storytelling than I am!”

You squint at him. Well, alright then. You hadn’t been expecting that sort of response. Shouldn’t they both be equally as good at storytelling if they are made from the same code? Maybe it’s a personality thing. You consider questioning him, but before you can type anything in, Sun forges on. “Is there anything else you would like to do? Remember, input ‘/help’ for available commands!”

Your fingers tap against the surface of your desk lightly, but in the end, you brush off his response. You shrug to yourself and pick the other option you hadn’t yet done with Sun. ‘then can u tell me a joke?’

“Oh boy! I sure can!” He smiles widely and pulls out a pair of large, black glasses from behind him with one hand. With the other hand, he pulls out a small, nondescript book. Is that a… joke book? Putting the glasses delicately on his face—you’re not sure how they stay on when he has no ears, but you chalk it up to technological magic—he clears his artificial voice and cracks the book open. “Why did the star get arrested?”

It seems the celestial theme extends to jokes too. Go figure. ‘i dunno. why?’

“Because it was a shooting star!” He grins, his rays spinning about his head like what he’d just said had been a particularly good one. You snicker more due to his reaction than the joke itself.

‘that was so bad,’ you type in light jest. And also kind of dark? ‘why did i laugh.’

“Because it was clearly good!” Sun replies. The glasses he has on makes his eyes look comically larger than they actually are and it has to be the silliest thing you’ve seen. “Here’s a better one: Why didn’t the Dog Star laugh at any jokes?”

You can see the punchline coming from a mile away, but you still indulge him. ‘idk, why?’

“Because it was Sirius!”

‘now that one was just predictable.’

“Ho ho, are you challenging me, Friend?” Sun suddenly asks slyly. “Because I am very, very capable.” Uh oh.

You shouldn’t have said anything, because he spends the next half an hour “reading” from that joke book of his and bombarding you with pun after pun. Now I know better than to critique his jokes, you think miserably to yourself as you listen to another one about Jupiter. There can only be so many jokes about the universe and stars, surely.

You eventually have to draw the line as he reads to you a joke about aliens (“What do you do with a green alien? Wait for it to ripen!”). You’re not here to evaluate the quality of his jokes. ‘okay u win, u win. i won’t doubt ur joke abilities ever again.’

Sun harrumphs and closes the little book in his hands with a snap. He takes off his glasses and— well, you’re not sure what he does, but one minute both items are in his hands and the next they’re gone. Like a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it trick. “Thank you. I accept this win with utmost humility.” The way he smiles makes you doubt this, somehow.

“Alrighty!” He claps his hands together, his smile twitching slightly when his dialogue box appears a bit too close to his head. “Let’s do something else, shall we? How do you feel about”—he pauses for dramatic effect, then splays his arms out so he can do jazz hands—“Arts ‘n Crafts!”

It’s not like you’re going to refuse. ‘sure, sounds fun.’

“Wonderful!”

Like yesterday, he skips over to the side of your monitor to pull over the window of your Paint app and place it in the center of your screen once again. Seriously, how is he opening that? Then, he jumps up and perches himself on top of the window like he’s sitting upon it. His legs swing down, moving back and forth like they’re dangling off the edge of a precipice.

“Okay, Friend,” he starts as he reaches behind him and pulls out a little paintbrush. He spins it fluidly along his fingers and joints in a subtle display of dexterity. “For this activity, I will give you a prompt and you will be required to draw it! Simple and easy!”

A painting session? You can’t say you’re particularly good at drawing on your computer. You eye your mouse and cringe. Then, you hum and decide to tease him a little, just for the hell of it. ‘seems more arts than crafts to me.’

Sun waves his free hand as though to brush off your words. “Ah, semantics! We are creating either way, Friend!” He flips the utensil in his hand in the air and catches it smoothly. “Now! First prompt! Draw me something that encompasses happiness.”

What is this, philosophy? You hum thoughtfully, then use the pen tool to draw the first thing that comes to your mind: a smiley face. It is, admittedly, not your best one with how shaky your mouse is, but it gets your intentions across, you think.

Sun makes a sound like he’s clicking his tongue against his teeth—which is a bit of an eyebrow raiser given that he likely has no tongue nor teeth, but who are you to question his… features? “Is that all you’ve got, Friend?” he asks incredulously as his head tilts down to indicate he’s looking at your rather meager drawing.

‘what?’ you type, minutely offended. Is he judging you right now? He is totally judging you right now. ‘it satisfies your prompt, doesn’t it?’

“That is not the point!” he squawks out, and you wince at the shooting pitch of his voice. You nudge your volume down a little. “We are making art! Put a little oomf into it! A little personality! Show me your skills, Friend, and do not hold back!”

You roll your eyes up to your ceiling. So dramatic, but fine, you’ll adhere. You fiddle around with the drawing tool a little, then start drawing around your smiley face. A circle for a head, maybe some sunglasses. A rainbow that you spend way too long on, trying to make the arch of each color even. Some sparkles. A cat playing a saxophone—or your best attempt at one, at least. You’re kind of throwing things together at this point and hoping it’s enough to satisfy Sun—who’s starting to look more and more impatient the longer you take.

Finally, you finish. ‘okay, how about this?’

Sun claps his hands together and hops off the top of the window so he can stand before it properly and look at it like he’s a critic in an art museum. He ‘hms’ and ‘hahs’, tapping the bottom of his face with the paintbrush as he scrutinizes your drawing, looking at it every which way.

“Better, certainly better,” he muses and walks over to the other side of the window. “I can appreciate an effort when I see it.” You make a face at his words. Ouch? He spins back around to face you and gives you a thumbs up, eyes crinkling to crescents. “Wonderful job! A piece befitting a pin up to the refrigerator, I’m sure. On to the next prompt!” He snaps his fingers together, and the Paint application’s canvas clears. What? “Draw me something that encompasses sadness!”

You know now to be more detailed, at least. You doodle a sad face this time, accompanied by a variety of things you pull out from the top of your head. Sun criticizes your work when you finish, giving it that same appraisal as before. You feel like you’re in some sort of competition.

“Hm”—he eyes the rainclouds you’d drawn at the top of the canvas—“rather basic depictions, I’m afraid. Friend, have you tried varying the line weight of your pen tool? It might help!”

‘i’ll be sure to for the next one,’ you type in what you intend to be a dry manner, but you don’t think it translates all too well via text. As Sun grins approvingly at you, a sudden thought strikes you that you find yourself typing into that little window. ‘hey, why don’t u draw something since ur so… educated on it.’ Nitpicky, more like, but you don’t want to possibly offend him. ‘u seem like u’d enjoy it.’

“Me?” His eyes widen like he has not considered it. “You want…” His head cocks to the side. There is a moment where he just seems to look at you. Then, his eyes fall into a half-lidded, crinkled gaze that you have difficulty pinning alongside the stretching of his smile.

Everything is suddenly—quiet.

“You are,” he begins in a low voice that makes your eyebrows raise, “awfully strange, aren’t you, F-Friend?” A white facsimile of teeth flashes at you sharply that’s accompanied by a staticky glitch. “That’s okay! I like strange!”

And then—before you can truly decipher the depth to his smile or the offset pixels of the glitch—Sun beams at you, his rays spinning slightly. Like nothing had just happened. “I’ll make an artist out of you yet!” He claps his hands again, then wipes the canvas once more. He gestures to it. “Alright, for this next one, we are going to shift gears a little. Draw me a picture of your room!”

That is… definitely going into the submission form, you think. You hesitate for a moment, eyeing Sun as he sways side to side, but he… seems to be back to normal. It passed quickly—whatever ‘it’ was. No need to linger. You hope.

Your drawing is definitely a tad more rushed, but you think you do a pretty good job at capturing your room and its vibes—the decorations you have hung up, the comfy rug you impulse bought at a thrift store one day, and your bed swathed in your coziest blankets. You try varying your line weight, but you’re not sure how effective you are with it. Either way, Sun seems pleased with your attempts and praises one or two little details he notices, before he wipes the window clean.

“For the last drawing,” he says as he rocks back and forth on his heels. “I want you to draw a self portrait!”

You make a face. Drawing inanimate objects is one thing, but an actual portrait? ‘i dunno if i’m skilled enough to draw a good one.’

He waves a hand as though to brush off your words. “Nonsense! Give it your best shot. I would love to see how you view yourself!” He smiles up at you. “Show me what makes you you!”

You chew at your bottom lip and adjust your headphones as you ponder. What makes you you, huh? Should be simple enough, right?

And yet it takes you the longest of them all to draw a self portrait that satisfies you. Sun’s practically vibrating in place as he waits, humming a dainty little tune under his artificial breath that you do not recognize. You finish up with the design of your trusty set of headphones and do a final once over before you tell him you’re done.

“Took you long enough, Friend!” He huffs as he slips over to the Paint window to begin his analysis. He nods his head during his observations, humming in a low manner. “Interesting! Very interesting.” He skips over to the other side of the window to get a different perspective. “Wonderful use of the dotted line tool here! Oh yes, yes, yes! This truly makes me miss Arts ‘n Crafts so dearly.” Sun sighs—forlorn, almost—and presses on before you can really say anything. “I’d say with some more practice you’d be deserving of being hung up on the Wall of Creativity! As they say: Practice makes better!”

‘thanks?’ You’re not sure you particularly like these sort of backhanded compliments, but well, he’s not wrong, per se. You eye the wobbly lines made by your mouse.

“No problem! The Wall of Creativity is the most highest of honors, you see.” Sun twirls the paintbrush in one hand and snaps two fingers of his other to clear the canvas for the last time. He points the bristle end of the brush in your general direction. “Now, how about we play some games, hm?”

You’re kept busy for a while, playing games to Sun’s whims—or at least, the ones you can do with just the Paint tool and two players. He reminds you to take a break at one point, so you stretch and grab some food—all the while summarizing in your head what to jot down in the submission form at the end of today’s session. When you return, it’s nearing seven o’clock, and you brace yourself for the appearance of the Moon.

“Well, Friend, it appears our time together must come to an inevitable end,” Sun bemoans rather dramatically, resting his forearm across the top of his head like he’s about to faint Victorian-style. “Fret not, however!” He perks up and flashes you a grin. “For I will see you later!”

‘okay, drama queen,’ you type with a silly smile splayed across your lips. Instead of being offended, he seems to fall deeper into the role.

“Life is a stage,” he says gravely, “and I am but a simple actor upon it.” He sweeps into a low bow, then bounds back up to his feet with a flourish. His eyes widen suddenly—round like two large, white coins—and he gasps. He points at something over your shoulder. “Friend! What’s that behind you?!”

There is the smallest, smallest moment, where something in your stomach drops down to your feet. Your eyebrows raise and you turn around in your chair to look behind you. There is only the wide space of your living room, with your rumpled couch and inactive television. From here you can see the door to your bedroom is slightly ajar. You’re pretty sure you didn’t close it properly earlier. You blink confusedly at the normalcy of it all, then turn back around to ask Sun what the hell he’s talking about.

Only you’re not looking at Sun. You’re looking at Moon. Ohhh.

You were duped, like a fool.

Moon does not look pleased, standing next to the little window with your textbox. He scowls when you type your usual ‘hi moon’, and doesn’t bother to grace you with a reply this time. There’s something akin to frustration in his expression, but you cannot—for the life of you—decipher why.

You try again. ‘you don’t look too happy.’

He shoots you what you can only describe as a glowering look from under the band of his nightcap. His hands twitch minutely at his sides. You can almost say he looks… preoccupied with something? You’re not sure what. You’re also not sure how long he’ll elect to stay. Yesterday, you had mere minutes.

‘can u tell me a story?’ you try, only to deflate when his scowl deepens. ‘oh come on, i’m trying here!’

“Don’t bother,” he eventually grumbles out, the twitching evolving into short flexes of his fingers—clawed like he’s trying to grasp something just out of reach.

It’s your turn to frown, but you don’t push it. ‘sun told me ur better at storytelling.’

His head jerks slightly to the side in a way that’s unnatural—rotating like a vinyl record. His gaze narrows. “He did, did he?” It’s said in a growl, displeasure lining his voice.

‘yep.’ You hesitate for a second, juggling your options and his irateness in your mind. ‘so… story? please?’

Moon snaps. “Fine! You want a story so badly, I’ll give you one. Listen very closely.” The little window you use to communicate with them closes out. Your eyebrows raise, but you are immediately captured by the low drone of Moon’s voice and the daggered look he somehow manages to give you even through your computer screen.

“Once upon a time,” he begins bitterly, “there was a fox. It lived with another fox friend in a peaceful valley. It was happy, living day by day with those around it. The two had each other and that was enough.

“But one day, the valley shook and trembled with the force of a mudslide. The fox was separated from its friend and injured by a fallen branch that manifested itself in the form of a perpetual limp. It tried, desperately, to find its friend, but it was no use. The friend was gone. It had to move on.

“The fox traveled for days. It was slow, but it made progress. And eventually, it found itself in a field surrounded by tall, waving grass and giant deciduous trees. It made this field its new home.

“For a while, things were good. The fox made some new friends. But there was still that ache of loss. The fox wondered if its old friend was still maybe out there, somewhere. It wished on the stars and hoped its friend would find it, in this new home. Someday. Somehow.

“Its wishes were granted. One day, the fox woke up to a familiar sound. The sound belonged to its old friend—that had found it after so long. The fox was happy and bound forth to greet its old friend. But there was something different about the friend that the fox could not place. It did not matter, however, for they were reunited at last.

“The days went on. The fox had noticed that its friend was not the same as before, but the same could be said about itself. They tried their best to live together once more. It was difficult. There were ups and downs. Fights and quarrels. The friend was controlling and the fox did not like this. They were not as close as they were before and this distance lingered over them like a storm.”

Moon breaks off for a short moment to glare down at his slippered feet. You are stuck in a trance, breathing bated as you hang on to his every word like they’re a lifeline. He shakes his head slightly, then continues on.

“The seasons cycled by. The auburn vegetation of Fall transformed into the desolate white of Winter, then to the lush verdance of Spring. Before finally, it settled on the yellowed brittleness of Summer. It was a particularly cruel Summer, but the fox and its friend did what they needed to survive while avoiding each other.

“And then… on a particularly arid day… A fire broke out in the field. It spread rapidly. It had not rained in days, and this caused the vegetation to burst into flames faster than the fox and its friend could react. It surrounded both of them. They were trapped. Together, yes, but still trapped. They couldn’t even reconcile in their final moments.”

Moon looks up at you, his eyes reminiscent of a tenebrous sky pulling you in deeper and deeper and deeper.

“Do you know,” he whispers with all the gravitas and conquassation of an earthquake barely repressed, “what it feels like to b u r n?”

And then the program closes.

You are left to stare at your empty desktop, throat lined with cotton and heart racing like it’d been you trapped in that fire.

There is much to dissect, but you haven’t got an inkling of where to even begin. You fall into an uneasy slumber throughout the night and wake up feeling just as clueless. Moon’s expression and voice lingers over your shoulder like a spiteful ghost and you’re left to wonder how a computer program can have such a depth to it. You don’t want to contemplate it, fearing the exacerbation of this… sinking feeling in your stomach. So you don’t.

A bug, you tell yourself as you shuffle through your daily tasks. Maybe a feature FazCo’s still trying to iron out.

(You don’t mention anything else other than a ‘weird story’ and more glitching in the nightly submission form. You’re not sure how to even describe what you’d listened through.)

You eye your dormant computer while you prepare a light lunch in the form of a sandwich, your television playing the news in the background. Nothing too major, just the weather at the moment. It’s a good way to fill the room with some noise when you feel like catching up with what’s going on in the world around you.

You exhale heavily through your nose and set down a dirty knife into the sink to clean later. Something bumps into your ankle, and you glance down to see Dr. Nugget bumbling away from you into the living room, whirring all the while. Those sensors definitely don’t work as they should, poor thing.

No matter how much you want to delay, you have some work you need to get done on your computer. Not only in terms of testing the FazPals program. Your timesheets need to be updated again (much easier to do on your computer than your phone, you admit). There are applications you have to submit to other companies to join their beta testing teams and research you have to do to ensure you don’t completely run out of work anytime soon. One of the more tedious attributes of being a beta tester is the constant cycle of looking and applying for positions. Oftentimes, companies will sign you on to test other products of theirs, though, so it’s not all that bad.

With that in mind, you plop down in front of your computer with your food and power it on. Your headphones go around your neck for the time being. Typing your password with one hand and taking a bite of your sandwich with the other, you get to work pulling up your spreadsheets and the website you use for job hunting.

It’s menial work. You keep track of what companies you apply to with your spreadsheets. Most of them have the same application process and requirements. It’s easy to lose yourself in the repetitive clicking, reading, and typing. With the addition of your headphones blasting music in your ears, you go on autopilot pretty easily.

It’s while you’re making updates to your resume that you get startled, suddenly, by Sun.

“Friend! Hello!” He pops up out of nowhere and makes you promptly choke on the sip of water you’d been taking. Loud! You set aside your water bottle and cough roughly into your fist, eyes tearing up from the abruptness of it all. Your heart gives a harsh, indignant ba-dump. Oww.

Once you’ve collected yourself and paused your music, you take a moment to stare confusedly at Sun, swaying happily side to side in front of the window of your resume. He smiles up at you. How the hell—? You hadn’t clicked on the FazPals icon, had you? No, no, you’re sure you didn’t.

‘hi sun,’ you type slowly into the small window he had automatically opened for you when he appeared. You pause as his smile turns into a beam, then decide to ask him your burning question. ‘how r u active right now??’

“I got tired of waiting for you!” he replies, his rays bobbing in and out in a wave around his head. You wait to see if he’ll elaborate, but he doesn’t. Okay. Well. You make a note of that for later.

Sun makes a show of turning around and looking at your resume window. He can’t… read the data on it, right? Wait, no, he probably can if he was able to do it with your computer’s Paint app. You bite the inside of your lip. You’re not sure how you feel about that, but well, it’s not like FazCo doesn’t already have your resume. Just in case, you switch tabs back to your spreadsheet. Better, if marginally.

Sun hums, then turns back to look at you with those blank eyes of his. “What’re you up to, Friend?”

‘just applying to some jobs,’ you reply unsurely. Is this weird? This is weird, isn’t it. Upon pressing enter, Sun moves to look at the little window thoughtfully. And perhaps, with some inkling of annoyance? It’s difficult to tell, but it’s the same look he will sometimes give his dialogue box. One of his hands raises to tap at the bottom of his face. Contemplative. He returns his gaze to you and tilts his head.

“Hey, Friend,” he starts, completely bypassing your previous response, “I have an idea.”

You are wary, but you cannot deny the intrigue. ‘yes?’

His smile stretches at your encouragement. He clasps his hands together in front of him. “Just trust me!”

You squint at him—his blithesome demeanor—but you aren’t able to reply. The textbox window closes, and a different one appears in the center of your screen:

FazPals.exe is trying to access your microphone. Allow?

All your thoughts stutter to a complete stop.

Processing text is one thing, but audio input? You suppose it’s not anything innovative in this day and age, but you hadn’t been expecting it particularly for a program like this. You know the animatronics back at the pizzaplex were pretty advanced with this sort of thing, so it’s not… too unusual for FazCo, right? It’s probably something you need to evaluate, you sigh internally. This is fine.

FazCo, you think to yourself wryly. Enough said.

Apprehension still lining your movements, you click the ‘Allow’ button. The window disappears. Nothing really happens that you can see, but suddenly you are all too aware of the weight of your headphones sitting atop your head. You lick at your lips.

Sun continues his swaying as he waits—expectant. “Friend?” There is a smidge of hope in his voice.

“Yeah?” you respond, wincing at the crackle of your voice. That sip of water had really taken you out. You clear your throat. “Sorry. Yes?”

The beam he gives you is enough to vye against the, well, sun.

“Oh! Marvelous!” He practically leaps for joy, rays spinning up a storm as he wiggles in place. His eyes upturn into delighted crescents. “Simply marvelous! Friend, it is lovely to hear your voice! It has been so long since I’ve heard another.” Something creeps into his gaze that you… You’re not entirely sure you want to decipher it.

“Friend,” Sun begins in a low, nonchalant voice. “I have a request! A simple one, really.”

You raise an eyebrow. You are undoubtedly curious. “What is it?”

“Can you say my name for me?”

Oh. Weird, but okay. You comply, voice lifting at the end slightly. You are not nervous right now, thank you very much. “Sun.”

A glitch rides down the length of his body in a jittering wave—starting from the tips of his rays to the soles of his shoes. His gaze falls into a half-lidded look. “Perfect,” he breathes, so quiet you almost need to strain your ears to hear. “Utterly perfect.”

You blink at him, befuddled. The moment does not linger. He snaps back to his regular sway and bright-eyed expression. “So! You said you’re applying to jobs? What for?”

“Uh, yeah,” you say, slightly distracted and disoriented by the whiplash from this guy. Program. Whatever. Your fingers had automatically moved to type your reply in, lingering over your keyboard. This will take some getting used to. You move your hands to rest awkwardly on your lap so you can fiddle with your fingers. “I’m a beta tester so I’ve gotta keep applying for positions in companies.”

“Beta tester, huh?” Sun muses more to himself than anything. He seems to be deliberating something. “Hm. I see. For how long?”

You make a thoughtful sound. “Mm, for a while now. I can’t remember the exact timeframe. It’s enough to pay the bills, so I can’t complain.” You are ever so thankful that the ease in interacting with him transferred so neatly from texting to talking.

“Of course, of course!” Sun bows, then slides off to the right of your screen to nestle himself in the corner with the date and time. He tucks his hands behind his back. “Well! Don’t let me distract you! Carry on!”

“Right…” you trail off, uncertain. You eye him standing just out of the way of your work—enough that you can ignore him if you zone in on what’s directly in front of you. Well, FazCo did say their program is a “virtual desktop friend.” Hanging around your screen when you’re not immediately engaging with it seems like an attribute it should be able to do. You shrug to yourself and go back to editing your resume.

…It’s very quiet.

Oh wait, music! You forgot to start it up again. You mess around with the volume mixer on your computer so you can continue to play your music whilst also being able to properly hear Sun should he decide to start talking. That is, without bursting your eardrums. You lose yourself to the tunes, accompanied on occasion by the rhythmic tapping of your keyboard.

At one point you notice Sun changes the pacing of his swaying. And upon closer look, you realize he’s moving to the beat of the song booming through your headphones. His rays move like a volume meter, raising and lowering around his head in a circular formation depending on the strength of the audio.

“I like this song!” he says like he can sense your eyes on his pixelated form. “Never heard something like this before!”

“Really?” You adjust the volume mixer a little. Better.

“Yep! My music repertoire is rather lacking, I’m afraid.”

“You’re in luck, then,” you say eagerly as you pull up your music player and shuffle through a playlist you think he might like. “This is what I call The Greatest Hits of All Time.” You press play and grin when Sun does a little wiggle in excitement.

He’s content to sway in time with whichever song’s playing as you slowly finish up with your work for the day. You’re a bit surprised at how long he goes without really saying anything. But, of course, he eventually gets bored. Patience, you think, is not one of his core features. Or, well, he is patient to an extent. Something tells you he was not programmed to stay quiet for long periods of time.

In the corner of your eye, you notice he starts juggling. It’s small, at first. Just two red balls that he throws up and down and up and down, shuffling them to opposite hands all the while. Then it becomes three balls. Then four. Your gaze flicks to him from time to time, but you’re determined to get through just a couple more applications and then your timesheets before you call it quits.

You break when he hits eleven balls, his grin curling enticingly at the edges concomitantly. “Bored, are you?”

“Oh, immensely!” He throws up his hands in feigned distress and the plethora of balls come raining down upon him in a move befitting of a cartoon. They bonk him repeatedly on the head and bounce away on the top of your taskbar. You watch in amusement as one rolls across your screen and disappears past the left border. Sun is unperturbed. “Are ya done yet?”

“Not quite,” you say and he groans, tossing his head back. You roll your eyes in good nature.

“You can multitask, can’t you?” he presses, clasping his hands together in a plea. “Let’s chat!”

“Okay, okay,” you acquiesce. You’re sure he would keep pestering you otherwise. He cheers and immediately hops right into it.

“What do you like to do for fun? What’s your favorite food? Do you have any other friends? What about your family? Do you like g-glitter glue? What’s the highest education level you have? Do you have a favorite piece of media? What’s your deepest, darkest secret? What’s your opinion on Fizzy Faz? What’s your favorite animal—”

“Whoa, Sun! Slow down!” you yelp, mind spinning with all the rapidfire questions. The text in his dialogue box had been moving so quickly you hadn’t been able to make out a single word.

“Sorry!” he says, though he doesn’t quite sound all too apologetic. His eyes upturn. “I want to know aaalllll about you! How else will we be best friends?”

“By taking it easy,” you reply in what you hope is a meaningful manner. He at least has the decency to look abashed. You huff out a laugh, then do your best to remember what questions he’d asked. You’re already blanking on some. “Okay, well, uhh. I like to read and watch videos. I do have other friends and family, but I don’t live with them. Glitter glue is okay when it’s not literally everywhere. I don’t have any deepest, darkest secrets, sorry. Uhh—”

“Don’t forget about your favorite food!” Sun cuts across you, trying to be helpful, most likely. “And education level! And your favorite media!”

“Right, right…”

You’re not sure how long you spend answering his many, many questions (of which you’re sure he has an infinite amount), but it feels like ages. You have been thoroughly distracted, and you can’t even be incensed about it.

As the evening settles in with a hush and it gets closer and closer to seven o’clock, you find yourself thinking about Moon.

“Do you know what it feels like to b u r n?”

You suppress a shiver.

You take a moment to deliberate in your mind, then eye Sun. He’s busy prattling off his excitement over wanting to watch a movie with you. Gently, you interrupt him. “Hey, is it cool if I ask you a question?”

“Oh!” Sun looks at you wide-eyed, momentarily taken aback before he smiles encouragingly. “Of course, Friend! Ask away!”

“What’s the deal with Moon?”

If you hadn’t been already watching him, you wouldn’t have noticed. He freezes in place for a split second, then resumes his swaying so suddenly it’s almost like he’d forced himself to. Ever so minutely, the corner of his smile twitches. “Why ever would you ask me?”

“Well…” Your fingers tap idly along the surface of your desk. Shouldn’t he know since they’re part of the same software? You resist questioning him further. “He doesn’t seem like he wants to engage with me.”

Sun waves a hand in dismissal. “Ah! He’s being dramatic, probably! Moon is… Well! I will say he is rather….” His grin turns taut, like a wire about to snap. “...Difficult to get along with.” That tautness disappears with a bob of his rays, as though it had never been there in the first place. “Worry not, Friend! You still have little old me to talk to!”

“Yeah…” You’re confused. You thought dual programming with personalities such as Sun and Moon would make them mesh together pretty well. It’s difficult to tell with Sun. He’d made it seem like they both were on decent terms with previous transitions. You suppose not. Is it even possible for their A.I.s to interact with one another? You’re not sure how it works.

“Speaking of which,” Sun says as he makes a show of looking down at an invisible watch on his wrist. “It is time for me to go!” He sighs, faux sadness making him droop down like he’s a melting popsicle. “And after we’ve been having such a good time together.”

“Mmhm,” you agree, something akin to nerves crawling just under your skin with every second that ticks by. Why are you nervous? “I’ll see you tomorrow, buddy.”

He grins at you, flicking a hand in farewell. “I bid you”—a dark hole appears near his feet, and you watch as he steps over it with a wink—“adieeuuuuuuu!” He disappears, dropping into the hole with his voice getting fainter and fainter until it’s cut off by the hole popping to a close. Silly.

You let out a breath and look at the time. 7:00 P.M. Right on the dot. You shift in your seat and wait for Moon. You’re not sure what crawled up his digital ass and died, but you’re determined to at least get him to have a proper conversation with you. Not only for your job, you think, as you navigate to your email to open the submission form, but for camaraderie’s sake, as well.

“Camaraderie” with a program, you think to yourself dryly. What a world we live in.

7:03 P.M. and still no sign of Moon. This is fine. You can wait. You try not to waver.

…You call it quits when he doesn’t appear after another ten minutes. Disappointing, yet unsurprising. You should have expected it, really. You sigh and take off your headphones, leaning back in your chair. You rub at the side of your head. Your television drones on in the background with the news, still on after all this time.

Honestly, how are you supposed to evaluate him when he shows up and disappears in unpredictable intervals? It’s a conundrum, truly. Does that not go against his entire code? His purpose? You don’t know anymore. You roll your shoulders and decide to finish up your work from earlier.

Tomorrow, you think resolutely. Tomorrow you’ll try again.

part three

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dromaeocore · 10 months

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@pisforpandemonium Absolutely!

So the first book I'm gonna recommend is Soteria by Loren Mosher and Voyce Hendrix. It's about the development of a home/intentional community for people with schizophrenia/psychosis. This home was very pro-autonomy, many workers had psychosis themselves, and they did use meds, but it was always the resident's choice and usually not the first line of treatment, as they found that psychosis often resolved on its own within a few weeks. Some of the methods used at Soteria were a little... wacky, being the 70s, but all in all it was very successful. There are now Soteria Houses all over the world.

Another one is Healing: Our Path From Mental Illness to Mental Health by Thomas Insel, MD. It's written by the former director of NIMH, and while I don't agree with every one of his takes, there is a great chapter about the Clubhouse Model, another peer support model created by a bunch of ex patients, by and for people with mental illness. People in the clubhouse are Members, not patients. They are assisted with vocational goals, food, etc, and most importantly, given community. It's a really interesting paradigm and there are hundreds of clubhouses all over the world now.

The Voices Within by Charles Fernyhough is a bit dry IMO, but it goes over the research behind voice-hearing and goes into the Hearing Voices Movement - another, you guessed it, peer support movement for voice hearers and other folks who have experiences not aligned with consensus reality i.e. psychosis.

Some others I haven't read yet are Geel Revisited after Centuries of Rehabilitation by Eugeen Roosens, and On Our Own: Patient Controlled Alternatives to the Mental Health System by Judi Chamberlin.

I'm also gonna rec a bunch of podcasts.

Heart Forward: Conversations from the Heart has a ton of awesome episodes about the US mental health system and alternatives to it. They have lovely episodes about peer respite and Trieste. It's such a compassionate and solution-focused podcast with a diverse amount of topics, I love it.

Patricia Deegan: Personal Medicine is a great one about Dr. Deegan's life and the Commonground Software she developed to help aid in joint decision-making with patients and providers, where patients have a solid say in their treatment. (I've listened to a ton of interviews with Dr. Deegan and she is an amazing, inspiring individual)

A Place of Safety? is hosted by an Italian psychiatrist who worked in Trieste (an Italian city with world-renowned mental healthcare) and he talks about a lot of problems with the NHS and how it relates to Trieste.

Alita Taylor - Open Dialogue is an episode about a highly successful mode of treatment in Western Lapland for people with psychosis and other mental illness. Here's a documentary I just found about the practice, haven't watched it yet but it looks cool.

Mad in America also has some interesting podcasts about many of these topics

Some articles:

Bethel House, basically Japan's version of Soteria

Hearing Voices Movement, as previously discussed

Hurdalsjøen Recovery Center, a "medication-free" hospital in Norway (meds are optional, not banned lol, and they also assist with tapering off)

Recovery Colleges, where struggling individuals, caregivers, and professionals all take an active role in learning about mental health

Obvs this isn't everything but I hope I've given you a good starting point!

#it's actually a goal of mine to write a book summarizing every one of these that I'm aware of lol bc afaik there isn't one yet #just every goddamn innovative and humane mental health practice there is :3 #pisforpandemonium #reply #psychiatry #mental health #psychiatry critical #healthcare reform

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smovs · 2 years

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Notes to make Clip Studio Paint's 3D model posing tools a little less overwhelming

SET HOTKEYS

first thing to do is to set keyboard shortcuts. To interact with the 3D models you need the Operation > Object tool.

(I'd also recommend the Move Layer tool if you haven't already hotkeyed it)

BRING IN THE MODEL

grab a default model from the 3D Materials window, drop it onto your canvas, & set the scale to your liking.

TIP: you're gonna wanna use the MOVE LAYER tool to adjust the model's position on your canvas. If you start dragging it around with the Object selection tools, it'll move the model relative to its own ground plane & camera. Recipe for a headache.

Move Layer tool = no more tears

CUSTOM BODY SHAPE

You can adjust the model's body proportions on the fly by opening up the sub tool window as shown below.

I recommend this 60 second video by Iron Circus for more detail: youtu.be/zrtAyY3Qqmo

As they suggest, start at the feet & work your way up.

and you're ready to start posing!

...don't know dick-all about 3D software? it works like this:

translation / rotation are often shortened to trans / rot, which is coincidentally the name of my new band.

it doesn't matter which mode you use, and you'll be bouncing back n' forth most of the time. don't even worry about remembering what they're called.

just let it wash over you 🌊☮️

SWITCHING BETWEEN FK & IK

it's so easy to do this that you're probably gonna do it on accident constantly.

Click once on the model for IK, click again for FK.

POSING BREAKDOWN

now we're ready to pose. generally, I start from the center of the body and work outward.

1 Pelvis

2 Torso

3 Neck & Head tilt

4 Clavicles

5 Upper arm > Forearm > Wrist > Fingers // Thigh > Shin > Ankle > Foot Arch

[my posing timelapse gif is too big for tumblr- you can see it on my website if you’re so compelled. or this tweet]

TOUCHUPS

Now it's blocked in, you can go back in for tweaks. I find it's good practice to click away & deselect the previous joint before going in to select the next one. Helps avoid misclicks.

[yeah, same thing]

WINDOW > ALL SIDES VIEW

for more camera angles.

Good for when you're struggling to select a control cause it's hiding behind the other body parts.

The arm range is a bit limited, it can be tough gettin the hands/elbows to reach behind the body. don't sweat it too hard, these models are just for reference after all.

But if you've hit a wall, I got one last cheat for ya tonight:

LIQUIFY TOOL

when you've posed as best as you can and it's still not close enough, flatten the layer (right click > rasterize) and hit it with the liquify tool.

Good luck out there!

#lemme know if i can clarify anything better #getting emotional about how far technology has come & how utterly efficient these processes are now #we're living in the future #clip studio paint #csp tutorial #kinda #long post #tutorial type shit / behind the scenes

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rileyslibrary · 2 years

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Living With Ghosts: 4. Pretty Broken

His body stands straight, but his mind betrays him. He still wears his gun around his left shoulder. It looks too heavy for him now, just like his conscience.

Relationship: Simon “Ghost” Riley x F!Reader

Word Count: 1,150

Notes:

Warnings: Mentions of blood and war

As much as I like Ghost’s demeanor throughout the game, I cannot help but wonder what he would be like suffering the aftereffects of war.

Entire work on AO3

Table of Contents

———————————————————————

It’s been days since you last talked to him.

His inattentiveness, however, was not the outcome of your petty little brawl—not the direct consequence, at least. If you had to venture a guess, it’s because he was busy with other matters at the moment—far more important ones.

The Russian Mafia appears to have increased its presence in the region over the past week, raising suspicions of a potential terrorist attack. As a result, the CIA has requested high readiness from the Special Forces operators deployed in the area.

That’s where he is, you fool. It doesn’t matter how abandoned, lonely, or insecure you feel, for he had a job to do. He was right there, at the front line, risking his life for the nation’s—and probably the world’s—safety. You were the last thing on his mind right now; if you ever were anything to him but a mild inconvenience.

Let’s not forget that you also had a part to play in this operation; to actively scan land, air, and sea for irregular traffic and report to the CIA.

Well, not actively, per se—the safe house has a well-equipped wine cellar for that specific purpose.

“Surveillance Control Center,” they call it—SCC for short.

What was once used to store ruby-red Chianti Classico Riserva bottles can now be confused with the cockpit of a spaceship. The CIA engineers have outdone themselves with this one—you give them that.

The SCC is part of a computer network connecting every CIA safe house in the Mediterranean. It incorporates CCTV monitors, cameras, radars, and motion sensors designed to detect unusual movements in the region. Live-streaming feeds are processed using highly sophisticated software, which, upon catching unusual traffic, alerts the SCC’s terminal. The wine cellar also houses an arsenal of weapons and ammunition, just in case the shit hits the fan.

Your job, for now, is to oversee the SCC’s flawless operation and inform Laswell of any findings.

Boring; that’s what your job was. Boring.

“Christmas is coming,” Laswell’s voice sounded over the telephone, “You guys should do something to celebrate.”

“Do what, exactly, Kate? Go from house to house and sing carols on behalf of the CIA?” You reply, leaning forward as if you were trying to physically get your point across.

“If you’d stop being a sarcastic shit, then perhaps you could think a little better.” Her irritation rasped in her voice. “Do something together; think of it as a team-building event.”

He said he’d fix that attitude of yours; when was that team-building event going to take place?

She was right, though—as much as you’d hate to admit it. Christmas does bring people together.

You begin to reminisce about the good times back home when your family used to celebrate every year. You used to cook together, sing along to festive songs, watch Mr. Bean on television, and exchange gifts.

You remember your mother, who refrained from buying ornaments from the shops. She used to bake them instead—yes, bake them. She used to roll out the dough, give shape to it with cookie cutters and bake the ornaments so you would all decorate the Christmas tree with them. The entire house smelled divine with these four little ingredients she used in her recipe—cinnamon, salt, flour, and water.

Ingredients you already had in your pantry.

“Laswell, when’s my shift ending?” you asked in anticipation.

“It ended thirty-seven minutes ago. Tired of me?”

“I thought of something.” You announce, sitting on the edge of your seat.

“Wha-”

“I have to go. Over and out.” You report as you close the comms and head upstairs to the infamous pantry.

Cinnamon, salt, flour, and water.

You were determined to make it work, right here, in this safe house—with or without Ghost.

You hurried outside, scanning the area for the tree branches he trimmed a few weeks ago. If you tie them together, you could create something resembling a Christmas tree.

When was the last time he felt the Christmas spirit? Does he have a Christmas tree at his house? A family to sing together next to the fireplace? A warm, festive meal?

You moved frantically—part Christmas elf rolling out dough and baking ornaments, part Frankenstein trying to assemble a Christmas tree monstrosity.

Time flew by; hours passed like minutes as you worked hard, your creativity unleashed, putting forth your best effort to create something out of nothing.

To create festive decor out of raw ingredients.

To construct a tree out of stray branches.

To form a connection out of two peoples’ broken pieces.

“What’s that smell?”

You were so focused that you didn’t notice him standing behind you.

You turn around to see a wreck, the fragments of a man who has probably seen terrible things and done far worse.

“I—is everything all right?” You hesitate.

“Out of trouble, for now.” He replies.

His body stands straight, but his mind betrays him. He still wears his gun around his left shoulder. It looks too heavy for him now, just like his conscience.

“Yes, I know. I spoke with Laswell. I mean, are you all right?”

“Been better.”

His uniform is dusty, and his boots are covered in mud. There is a slight rip on his balaclava, teasing you with a subtle view of his jawline, like a Geisha exposing her nape.

“It’s over, for now.” you try to comfort him.

There’s blood on his left sleeve—a lot of blood. He just became aware of it as well.

“Not mine.” He announces and hides it behind his back. “What’s that smell?” He repeats, trying to avoid the conversation.

“Cinnamon.”

“Ya bakin’?” He seems shocked.

“Sort of; They’re ornaments for the Christmas tree,” you say, pointing in the direction of your most recent creation.

“A Christmas tree.” He stutters, glazed eyes darting left and right, assessing the new environment.

You want to tell him that there are no booby traps here, nothing dangerous to be careful of. You want to console him that there is no need to be alerted for an ambush here, for this is a safe space. No more killing, no more death, for now. Just you two, a hideous Christmas tree, and badly shaped cinnamon-baked ornaments.

“Do you like them?” You ask reluctantly, trying to divert his attention from this week’s horrors. “I couldn’t find any cookie cutters, so I shaped them with a knife instead. I tried to make them look pretty, but some came out broken.”

“Aren’t we all?” he mumbles as he walks towards the Christmas tree.

“Aren’t we all exactly what, lieutenant—pretty or broken?” you ask, attempting to lighten the mood.

“Pretty broken, kid,” he whispers as he picks up a shattered ornament. “Pretty damn broken.”

———————————————————————

Next ->

#simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley #call of duty #modern warfare 2 #cod mwii #simon riley #cod mw2 #cod ghost

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dotdot-png · 5 months

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Art Tutorial/Process (ft. Mash Burndead from "Mashle")

hii im sharing my finished "mash burndead" artwork + art tutorial/process on how I draw and paint with my artstyle.

(pls excuse my poor explanations i suck at it but i hope you still find this helpful)

Drawing Software: Paint Tool Sai

For painting references: I studied Popcorncheek, Natsume-san, bluesssatan, Leyendecker, and Julian Totino Tedesco and was able to develop my own artstyle.

Most of my drawings are centered around anime/manga, superheroes (marvel and dc), and original art so that's how I came up with my artstyle

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fandomtrumpshate · 1 year

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FTH 2023 Wrap-Up

Boy has it been a year, guys.

This seemed like the year when anything that could go wrong did, from covid to family emergencies to work obligations to software bugs. We're so grateful to you all for your patience and for coming back year after year to remind us why we do this.

Historically, non-election years have usually seen slumps in both our number of auctions and our donation totals. But this year? You guys blew us away yet again.

We had just as many auctions as last year, which is amazing. But even beyond that: our donation total —just 10% lower than last year's massive record— is 150% higher than our third best year, making it a very close second.

So are you ready for this year's grand total?

This year

thanks to all of you

FTH raised...

$47,361.75!

Which brings our seven-year total to

$239,507.86

Thank you so much to our 616 creators who offered 800+ auctions in over 400 different fandoms and subfandoms, and to everyone who bid! Also a special shoutout to our record 17 crafters who raised over $2500 of this - three times as much as any of our previous craft bazaars!

Your returning mods (@porcupine-girl, @captainbunnicula, @tiltedsyllogism, @anyawen, and @renjunbabygirl) would also like to give our heartfelt thanks to this year's two additions to the mod team, @trickybonmot (who has been a mod before but was returning after several-year absence) and @a-still-small-vox (who is brand new to this whole thing). Given everything that went down this year, the auction literally could not have happened without them. They've been ridiculously awesome.

Creators, be sure you contact your bidders by April 1, and bidders, on your end please respond to their communication by April 15!

Once the fanwork is posted, let us know via our form (can you believe six creators have already finished??) and if you're posting it on AO3 be sure to add it to the Fandom Trumps Hate 2023 collection. If you're writing a fic for FTH and need help from our Regiment of Fan Laborers, email us!

As always, we hope that for at least some people, your involvement in FTH will lead to continued action throughout the year. Sign up for our organizations' email lists, check out their volunteer opportunities, and help boost their signals on social media!

And if you'd like to run your own fanworks auction for a good cause, we can help get you started! Contact us at fandomtrumpshate at gmail.com and we can send you our auction playbook, as well as answer any questions you have about our process.

Your mods are going to be going into post-auction hibernation mode (or, for most of us, post-auction deal-with-all-this-other-stuff mode) for a little while. So if you email us, don't panic if we don't get back to you immediately! We will start actively monitoring the inbox again by April 15 at the latest.

Here is a quick snapshot of the donations to individual organizations - see below the cut for all of the totals!

We hope to see you all again next year!

Amounts raised for each of our individual orgs:

TLDEF $8,594.5 (18.15%) DigDeep/Navajo Water Project $7,037 (14.86%) Rainbow Railroad $5,970 (12.61%) Sherlock’s Homes Foundation $3,169.5 (6.69%) Life After Hate $3,069.75 (6.48%) Never Again Action $3,062.75 (6.46%) Citizens’ Climate Education $2,235 (4.72%) Xerces $2,103 (4.44%) Razom $2,101 (4.43%) Violence Policy Center $1327 (2.80%) NNtEDV $1,157.75 (2.44%) The Appeal $935 (1.97%) Other organizations (that aren’t abortion funds) $1,151 (2.43%)

All abortion funds $5,468.50 (11.54%) Indigenous Women Rising $2,073 (4.43%) other abortion funds $1,184.50 (2.50%) Abortion Fund of Ohio $963 (2.03%) KY Health Justice Network $634 (1.34%) New Orleans Abortion Fund $349 (.74%) Buckle Bunnies $240 (.51%)

#fth 2023 #donation totals

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domainedewinter · 26 days

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A night to learn - Part 1/2

Summary: Aemond woke up in the middle of the night to hear his brother running from the house, again. He found him and decided to give him what he needed to keep him with him.

Warnings: DUBCON, TYPICAL TARGARYEN INCEST, profanity, innuendo, he/him pronouns, , fingering, oral m receiving, toxic behaviour, SoftDom!Aemond, MxM, begging, nsfw.

Rating: 18+, MDNI

English is not my first language.

Like many nights, Aemond had heard the front door close, trying to be discreet, and while it worked with their parents, it didn’t with him.

Their mother, Alicent, must have been in a deep sleep after drinking several glasses of wine to help down the sleeping pill—the only source of sleep—she took every night, and as for their father, he was too sick to notice anything, delirious in the medical room allotted to him on the other side of the enormous Targaryen estate.

Aemond hated knowing his brother had gone out again, ready to mess around; he would drink too much, sleep with anyone, and be rude to far too many people.

Aemond stared at the ceiling for a moment before sighing and extricating himself from the welcoming warmth of his duvet. If no one else could keep his brother on the straight and narrow, he had to do it. It wasn’t his role as the younger brother, it wasn’t his role at all. But the jealousy and hatred he felt at the mere thought of foreign hands on Aegon’s body were enough to make him get up.

He dressed quickly, all in black—as almost always—pulled on his boots, and started their father’s car, driving to the city center. Finding Aegon wasn’t difficult since he had recently installed a small, invisible, yet effective piece of software that gave him his brother’s precise location at any time of the day or night.

A nightclub- Of course-, built on two floors. That’s where Aegon had been for almost an hour now, and even in such a short time, Aemond was convinced he’d had enough time to drink or consume some substances capable of altering his faculties and his already poorly sharpened reasoning.

He entered the establishment without any problems, the bouncers stepping aside when they saw him arrive; if his appearance wasn’t enough to get him in, his name was.

Targaryen was a name as feared as it was respected, and Aemond had no qualms about using it, mainly to fetch his brother.

After wandering through several rooms—the GPS location was precise but not to the point of indicating which floor he was on—Aemond finally saw him; he was dancing among other people, his skin glistening with sweat and his eyes closed as his body swayed to the repetitive rhythm of the entrancing music. Aemond should have gone down, cut through the crowd, and taken him away in a minute, but he found himself momentarily paralyzed, hypnotized by what he saw. His elder brother danced with disconcerting ease, moving to the notes as if they were part of him, something Aemond was utterly incapable of doing.

But seeing the many other pairs of eyes fixed on his brother, he frowned and approached. Another was quicker, and before he could grab Aegon, a boy with brown hair was dancing with him, his body pressed against his brother’s.

His brother.

Anger electrified his being, setting his blood on fire and burning his whole body.

Without warning, Aemond seized the other boy and punched him in the face. A fight broke out, and Aegon stepped back, watching the scene as a confused and almost amused spectator.

When the other stopped getting up, simply raising a hand in a sign of surrender, Aemond looked up at his elder brother, his gaze on fire.

“Fuck, Aem, you should relax and... what are you doing here?”

“Shut up and follow me. We’re going home.”

“Home? You must be kidding, I just got here! You don’t like this kind of place, fine, go home and read and forget about me, I won’t be bored here, someone else will take care of me...”

The insinuation behind his words only sent Aemond to another level of anger, and this time he grabbed his brother with force, by the too-large and open collar of his T-shirt, pulling him violently against him. He could smell the vodka and peach, the syrup Aegon preferred with alcohol, he was so close to him, and it made him want to taste his lips.

Not now, he reprimanded himself mentally, not here.

“If you think I’m going to let the first jerk who comes along put their hands on you, you’re delusional. So now you’re going to do what I say and follow me.”

Even if Aegon had wanted to argue and refuse, he had no choice, dragged by force into the cool air that hit him. He was thrown by Aemond onto the back seat before shivering, looking up at him. But the little pill he had taken and the alcohol didn’t allow him to be lucid, not even conscious during the long minutes the return journey lasted.

“Get up. Follow me.”

The voice of his brother pulled him from the thick, cottony sleep he had sunk into. Blinking several times, his bewildered gaze landed on Aemond, who lost patience and grabbed his wrist. He pulled him out of the car, and Aegon, nearly falling, caught himself as best he could, almost ending up in Aemond’s arms.

“Take it easy, I didn’t do anything, no need to be mad...” he mumbled before meeting Aemond's single, furious eye, so angry it made him look away.

He didn't like how his younger brother managed to make him feel so vulnerable, inferior, and powerless. He had been the one to frighten him when they were children and now felt that the tables had turned; Aemond no longer feared him in the least, and worse, Aegon now felt a certain fear in return.

The younger's hand grabbed his face, forcing him to look at him.

“I am the only one to decide if I’m angry about having to search the whole city for my idiot brother who doesn’t have enough sense to take care of himself,” he began, whispering menacingly, pinning him against the car. “I get to decide if waking up in the middle of the night to babysit your sorry ass is a valid reason to be pissed.”

Faced with Aegon's feeble, uncertain growl, his eyebrows shot up in surprise.

“So now you're going to follow me, and we’re going to settle this once and for all.”

Aegon didn’t know what his brother meant by that and could only nod painfully before being roughly released. He did as he was told, following Aemond with minimal stumbling, guessing it would only anger his brother further. Once at his bedroom door, he reached for the handle, but Aemond was quicker. He grabbed his hand.

“Tsk tsk,” Aemond hissed, tilting his head to the side. “In mine.”

It wasn’t the first time Aegon had gone into his room—he would even come directly to Aemond's bed when too drunk after a night out—but the tone with which he ordered it sparked a strange feeling of unease.

“Listen, Aem, it’s fine, we’re home, you don’t need to take care of me and—”

This time, Aemond’s patience seemed to evaporate; his long, slender fingers tangled in Aegon’s messy hair and dragged him to his room. He threw him onto the floor, starting to remove his leather jacket, smiling slightly at seeing him on the ground, a flash of fear crossing his eyes.

“What’s the matter, brother, is something scaring you?” Aemond knelt to his level and placed two fingers under his chin. “Is it me you’re afraid of?”

“Wh- Don’t be stupid, I have no reason to be afraid of you,” Aegon replied, lifting his head as much as he could but still trying to back away as much as his uncomfortable position allowed.

“I’ve been taking care of you in many ways for a long time, my dear brother, but it seems I’ve missed the best way to do it. Because that’s what you’re looking for every night, isn’t it?”

Not understanding where Aemond was going with this, Aegon furrowed his brows, unable to tear his eyes away from his brother’s too-bright eye, hanging on his words, what he thought he knew about him, understood about him.

Because usually, no one understood him. Why would it be different coming from his younger brother?

How could this calm, composed, attentive, and studious young man, loved by their mother in a way Aegon could only envy from a distance, even begin to imagine what Aegon felt and desired?

Kneeling between his older brother’s legs, one hand firmly gripping Aegon’s tousled hair and the other sliding down his back, Aemond leaned in until their lips barely touched, then slowly let them glide to his ear.

“Attention. You waste your nights roaming these empty, meaningless places, hoping someone will give you that; attention, the very thing you can’t find here. And you hope one of those beings will take an interest in you, see you, maybe even understand you, but I think that desire is a bit too utopian—even for you.”

A shiver ran down Aegon's spine, momentarily stealing his breath, only to return in rapid, jagged gasps. His heart pounded so loudly in his ears that he feared Aemond might hear it, and if not already, the sound it made against his chest would betray him.

Aemond's sharp and angular face reappeared before his eyes, sharper than ever, more alive and burning than anything Aegon could recall. “You know I’m right, and it’s such a shame. None of them deserve your nights, your time, your energy, and... your body.”

As he said this, he pressed Aegon closer, causing Aegon's cock to harden involuntarily as Aemond's body nestled between his legs. “But don’t worry, I’ve found the solution. You won’t have to desperately seek attention from strangers anymore. You won’t have to because all my attention will be on you.”

Usually so eloquent and talkative, always ready with a stupid or hurtful remark, Aegon found himself speechless. His lips were parted, his eyes darting between Aemond’s single eye and his thin, moving lips. But before he could make a move, the pale pink lips he was staring at pressed against his.

The kiss was wild but not clumsy; Aemond knew exactly what he was doing, devouring him and claiming his mouth as if it was his due—which he probably thought it was.

Initially letting Aemond lead, Aegon eventually clung to the back of Aemond’s neck and his long, silky hair, groaning and moaning against his lips, letting his tongue dance with his.

He lost all sense of time when Aemond pulled back, his breath also a little short, his features adorned with a more serious expression than ever, like a predator.

Aegon had never seen him like this; he hadn’t realized his brother had grown so much, had changed, gained confidence and maturity, become so attractive and more self-assured than he had ever been. It unsettled him, but he didn’t have time to say anything as he was violently flipped over, ending up still on his knees but bent over the bed, his face on the soft sheets smelling of linden and mint.

In less than a second, Aemond was behind him, his own hardness rubbing against Aegon’s ass, making Aegon bite his lip to stifle a moan. Aemond's mouth attacked his neck, probably leaving purple marks, maybe even bloody ones at times, but Aegon didn’t care; his mind was lost somewhere between desire and shock, still not over what was happening.

“Since you often tell me about your nights of debauchery, I know exactly what you do to others, but, Aegon, I have a question that’s been bouncing around my head for a while.”

While one of his hands was on Aegon’s, the other began its descent along his ribs to gently but possessively caress his stomach under his T-shirt. Aemond felt a distinct shiver on Aegon's soft skin and smiled against his neck, biting again. The moan it elicited from his brother was his reward, prompting him to repeat the action several times.

His wandering hand brushed against Aegon's needy cock but denied him that pleasure, opting instead to grab his ass with force.

“Are you a virgin... here?” he asked, running his fingers along his brother’s ass, leaving no doubt about what he wanted to know. “Has anyone ever taken you? Has anyone ever claimed you? Tell me, Aegon, have you given your pretty little ass to a man?”

At first, Aegon refused to answer, biting his lip harder, but when Aemond's hand caressed him more intimately before moving to his belt, Aegon tried to stand, only to be pinned back against the bed.

“Answer me.”

Aemond's voice was cold and authoritative—just like him—but his body was so warm and desirous, the contrast nearly made Aegon tremble.

“Why do you want to know? It’s none of your business, I—”

Aemond bit him again, all the while stroking his brother's hard cock after unzipping his pants and slipping his hand inside; of course, Aegon hadn’t bothered with underwear, and Aemond found his warmth unexpectedly, to his delight.

“It is my business. You are my brother. So if someone has defiled you, I want to know.”

His strokes quickened, but when Aegon's pleasure was about to burst in his hand, Aemond stopped all movement, smiling sadistically against his ear.

“Answer me.”

Aegon groaned, collapsing helplessly against the bed as he tried to move his hips for any contact with Aemond's hand.

“No.”

“You’re being very stubborn for someone in your position.”

“No, I mean... no, no one has ever fucked me.”

“Oh.”

This revelation stirred a strange sensation in Aemond’s lower abdomen; he had never been harder than at this moment, thinking of his brother's virginity.

“Well, that’s very good. Something in you remains pure and untouched... and since nothing seems to calm or reason you, nothing is ever enough for you, it’s my turn to try and channel that overly fiery spirit in you.”

Aegon was about to turn his head to respond, to try to understand, mostly to try not to understand the implication, but two fingers entered his mouth before he could do so, moving in and out against his tongue. Docilely, he began to suck them, Aemond's other hand resuming its gentle, languorous rhythm on his painfully aroused cock.

His younger brother knew exactly how to play with him to silence him and bend him to his will, and even though the alcohol had numbed his thoughts earlier in the evening, Aegon now found himself sober from any substance since Aemond had started tending to him, and worse still, he felt he was becoming drunk on his brother’s ministrations.

#aemond smut #Aegon smut #house targaryen #aemond one eye #aemond fanfiction #aemond targaryen #hotd #hotd aemond #hotd fanfic #house of the dragon #aegonxaemond #mxm #mxm smut

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shinobi-bacon · 8 months

Text

How I Make Gifs!

I've gotten multiple asks in my inbox about the method I use to make these animal crossing gifs:

So I figured it was about I time I answer these asks in the form of a separate post using gifs and screenshots to help explain things! I will warn that this will be an EXTREMELY LONG explanation, but I want to give as much details as I can under the cut. I'm going to use Queenie as my example!

The first thing I do is go to Photopia on Harv's island, a place where you can take photos using any of the villagers in the game and all the items you've collected. I use the Custom Designs app on the nook phone to download different colored wallpapers and floors. The colors that I use depends heavily on the villagers. I've used different backgrounds to make these gifs: green, blue, magenta, and (very rarely) black. For Queenie's colors, it was best to use green! I usually place the villagers towards the back of the wall while I stand in the center of the room. From there, I take out the phone's camera and start recording different reactions.

To record these I use my capture card, the Elgato HD60 S, and the capture software that you can download from Elgato's website. Any capture card and recording application will work.

I use three adobe apps to make these gifs: Premiere Pro, After Effects, and Photoshop. I know not everyone has access to these, but I was able to obtain these with the help of some friends. I won't go into details, but I will leave you with this image as a friendly reminder:

Premiere Pro - Here is where I drag all of my videos down onto the timeline and begin the editing process!

I try to find the best looping points for each reaction. I mark those points using the "Mark In" and "Mark Out" buttons located at the bottom of the preview window. The "Mark In" sets the starting position for the villager reaction and the "Mark Out" sets the ending point, creating a bracket for that specific reaction.

After marking these points, I use the "Play Video In and Out" button and then I make sure to click on the "Loop Playback."

This will not only play the parts of the timeline that I've marked, but it'll loop that exact bracket.

From there, I go to File > Export > Media (or ctrl+m on keyboard). This will bring up the export settings window. I turn the "Source Range" tab to "Sequence In/Out," so it only exports the spots I've marked with the "Mark In" and "Mark Out" buttons.

I then go to the source tab at the top and select the cropping tool.

I make sure to click the box under the "Match Source" button to remove the check mark, and then click the chain icon next to height and width settings to put a slash through the symbol. This allows me to freely crop the video and adjust the height and width of the output, so I can make a perfect green screen box around the villager

I then export this video and move on to the next reaction. I have folders for each gif set that I make. They usually look like this for all the villagers I've completed sets for:

After Effects - Here's where I open all of the reaction files. I go to the effects panel and open the keying tab.

This is where the magic happens! There are three keying effects that I use: Color Range, Key Cleaner, and Inner/Outer Key.

First Effect : Color Range - Starting the keying process, I use dropper tool on any part of the green that's behind the villager. This will only remove some of the background elements because how unevenly colored the green is, due to the lighting of the game.

I then use the dropper with a "+" icon on the rest of the background. What helps me is clicking the "Show Channel and Color Management Settings" button at the bottom of the preview window and switching to the "Alpha" view. The alpha channel deals with the transparency of an object and switching to this view allows me to see every bit of the wallpaper and floor that remains. This is where I can apply that dropper+ tool to get rid of them. It doesn't have to be perfect, because the other keying effects that'll be used will help get rid of the loose pixels of green that may still be present.

From here, the only adjustment that I sometimes use under this effect is the "Fuzziness" tool. Some villagers will have various color patterns that'll get keyed along with the background. Bringing down the fuzziness helps bring some of those colors back. This does run the risk of bringing some the background pixels back into the video, but that can easily be erased. I usually don't need to adjust the fuzziness. Again, it all largely depends on the colors of the villagers. After all of this is done, I now have a transparent background, but now there's a green outline around the villager:

Luckily, the next effect will help with that!

Second Effect: Key Cleaner - This plugin helps clean up the alpha channel around the edges of the villager. The only thing I do here is select the box labeled "Reduce Chatter" and turn the "Alpha Contrast" all the way to 100%.

This helps erase most of the outline and makes the edges a little sharper, but there's still a tiny bit of green that surrounds the villager.

Third Plugin: Inner/Outer Key - I will admit that I don't utilize the entirety of this effect's capabilities. I only adjust the "Edge Thin" and "Edge Threshold" sliders, which should shave off the rest of the green outline.

Using these tools, I've now completed the keying process and I have a nice, crisp villager reaction with a completely transparent background!

Next I go to File > Export > Add to Render Queue (or ctrl+m on keyboard). I bring up the output settings by clicking on the "Output Module." I then change the format to QuickTime, which will render the reaction as a ".mov" file. I then change the channel to "RGB + Alpha" to render the object (which is the villager) and the transparent background.

Once this is done, I hit the render button and the reaction has been exported! After doing all of this with the first video file, I highlight all of the effects that I've applied from the effects panel by clicking on the names:

I then hit ctrl+c on my keyboard, open the next reaction into the timeline, and then hit ctrl+v. This copies all the effects applied to the first reaction and pastes them to the next video. I repeat this process for each file so I don't have to redo the entire keying process for all of the reactions. After they're all rendered, I can move onto the final adobe step.

Photoshop - This is where I open all of the QuickTime files that I've exported from After Effects.

From here, I can apply any adjustments to the villager, whether it be adjusting the brightness, messing around with the hues and saturation, increasing the speed, etc. The main thing I do here is decrease the size. These files are usually huge so I have to adjust the size so I don't risk putting groups of extremely large gifs on peoples' dash. I go to Image > Image Size (or Alt+Ctrl+I on keyboard) and change the width and height to five inches. Of course, any size you choose will work. Five is just perfect for me because it's not too small to ruin the quality of the gif.

After this is done, I got to File > Export > Save for Web (or Alt+Shift+Ctrl+S on keyboard). This is where I can preview the gif.

I go to looping options on the bottom right and change it to "Forever," otherwise the gif won't loop. I then turn the matte to "None" so the gif doesn't export with an outline around it. I also make sure that the transparency box is checked. This is what my window looks like before I hit the save button:

Once I hit save, that's it! Queenie has been exported as a gif. You can see that gif at the top of this post.

If you've made it this far, thank you for reading all of that! I know some parts of this could've been just a simple summary, but I really wanted to show all the details of how I use every application in this gif making process. I will say that I'm no expert at adobe. This is just a method that I pieced together after experimenting with different combinations of keying effects and I managed to make it all work. I apologize if this process seems messy to advanced users out there and I welcome any tips if they help make things easier!

#animal crossing #new horizons #acnh transparent

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