#challenge received modifications

[doyoulikethissong-poll]

John Travolta - Greased Lightnin' 1978

Grease: The Original Soundtrack from the Motion Picture is the original motion picture soundtrack for the 1978 film Grease, starring John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John. It has sold over 30 million copies worldwide, making it one of the best-selling albums of all time, also ranking amongst the biggest selling soundtrack albums of all time. "Greased Lightnin'", with John Travolta on lead vocals, reached the top 20 in the UK and peaked at number 47 on the US Billboard Hot 100 in 1978.

In the film version, the character Danny has purchased a used car with the savings from his summer job, giving it the nickname "Greased Lightnin'". While the other greasers are skeptical of the car because it is in such poor shape, he is able to win them over with a rousing rock and roll number describing the modifications needed to transform it into a hot rod capable of arousing the ladies. In the original recording, as was in the case with the stage musical on which it was based, several unairable profanities of a sexual nature are peppered throughout the lyrics, which deterred a number of stations from playing the song and possibly prevented it from reaching the top 40 in the US. It was one of the few songs from the original Chicago-centric version of Grease to transition, uncut, from Chicago to Broadway and to film. Jim Jacobs later released a revised set of lyrics suitable for school performances that remove the sexual references (this "clean" version was also used in Fox's live television production of Grease), and most televised edits of the film cut the offending lyrics.

In the original musical, the song is Kenickie's featured number, with the other greasers serving as his backup singers. The film expands upon the car's purpose. Whereas the stage musical gives no particular reason for Kenickie's desire to build the car (which does not play a major factor in the play beyond that point), the film explains that the greasers' rivals, named the Scorpions in the film, had challenged them to a quarter-mile drag race, requiring them to have a competitive car for the duel. With Danny at the helm, Greased Lightnin' wins the race. The film is also notable for having Danny (played by John Travolta, who had already had top-40 hits before Grease) sing lead on the song, while Kenickie (Jeff Conaway) contributed with a few call-and-response lines. In keeping with the musical's tendency to use styles of music popular in the late 1950s, the song "Greased Lightnin'" is in a slightly modified twelve-bar blues form, and is inspired by the 1959 single "White Lightning" by The Big Bopper.

"Greased Lightnin'" received a total of 74,6% yes votes!

[scariusaquarius]

rehab. 4.

Avenger! Bucky Barnes x Winter Soldier! Fem! Reader

Summary: While on a mission to find any more possible super soldiers that were a part of the Winter Soldier program, Steve and Bucky make a discovery in an abandoned HYDRA base that was cleared out a few years prior to their mission. They discover the Reader, a long-forgotten soldier that was still asleep within a functioning cryostasis pod; still awaiting orders. While Bucky isn't happy about it, he is put up to the challenge of helping to rehabilitate the soldier in Wakanda where she may be able to become a person again.

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A/n: This chapter is going to contain some very dark and graphic scenes. Please read carefully. We're finally going to get a look into the Winter Soldier's head!

This is an au where Bucky joined the avengers but still rehabilitated in Wakanda (sometime before Infinity War [canon divergent cause NOPE]). I am NOT fluent in Russian, so I did use google translate cause I couldn't find a good translator that I trusted. If anything is wrong, PLEASE let me know!! Also, I tried to list as many warnings as possible so you know what the story will contain as chapters are posted. Stay safe!

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Genre: Slowburn, Enemies to Lovers/Friends to Lovers, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Humor, Drama, Dark Content Rated: Explicit Warning: Angst, Dark Content: Graphic Depictions of Sexual Assault, Blood and Gore, Mentions of Manipulation, Kidnapping, Canon-Typical Violence, Body Horror, Nonconsensual Body Modification/Scarring, Emotional and Physical Abuse, Mentions of Murder, Mentions of Suicidal Thoughts/Ideation, Graphic Depictions of Human Remains, Mentions of Sexual Coercion/Manipulation, Death, Misuse of Drugs/Forced Drugging, Self-Harm (Graphic Depictions and Mentions), Nightmares

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Author: ScariusAquarius

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rehab masterlist. chapter 1 / chapter 2 / chapter 3

The second that she had awakened from cryostasis, the soldier observed immediately that something was amiss. Muffled voices slowly started to become clear the more conscious she became, seeming to be arguing with one another until the soldier was finally able to move.

For a moment, it had been jarring. The scents, the environment, the stale air...something was different. Unlike the hustle and bustle of that laboratory that the soldier was used to, there was unnerving silence that accompanied the two unknown men.

The Enforcers, her Handler, the nervous scientists, and HYDRA militia-alike were absent. There was nobody there to frantically make sure that her awakening was going well; no Handler nor Enforcer to make sure that the Winter Soldier was compliant.

No, there were only these two strange men that she knew immediately weren't with HYDRA.

Alert: Facility compromised. Protect HYDRA associates. Retreat to Gutzkow.

The words had rang heavy within her mind, but despite the need to carry out the sub-orders, her body took a moment to actually move. During this time, the soldier was aware that the two men were observing her; quiet and cautious and nervous. Her mind scrambled for a slight second as she recognized the Fist of HYDRA, glitching as if her brain was a computer, and she attempted to gather her thoughts together.

Her foot moved with the intention of engaging to protect the associates of HYDRA that were still in the building, but the weakness that came with being thawed from cryostasis left her unable to withstand her own weight.

Weak. Unacceptable. Лох.

There was a pain within her mind despite there being no known injury, and when the blonde man caught her and helped her to sit down, a voice within her mind began to whisper like a long-lost friend that she hated with every fiber of her being.

Orders received: Retrieve Fist of HYDRA. Lethal force authorized. Deliver to Gutzkow and Report to Rollins. Heil HYDRA.

Before she had been put into cryostasis, the soldier recalled being given these final orders. She was not allowed to remember anything aside from the orders she received, but despite the fact that remembering meant punishment, her mind forced her to envision the last few moments before she was put under.

Her Handler's face was stoic despite the disgusted look within his eyes as the pod door descended; that familiar freezing cold feeling beginning to crawl up her legs as the man stood outside of the door. His mouth moved to deliver his orders; the volume of his voice reverbing around within her mind like an amplifier in a cathedral; penetrating through her entire psyche as her body began to freeze.

We will be waiting, Soldat.

The only thing that broke the soldier out of her mind from the memory of receiving her orders was the Fist of HYDRA speaking to her; attempting to give her orders that he was not authorized to give. Despite the desire to resist, she could not go against her true orders.

Disobedience will not be tolerated.

She was huddled into a corner of a cold room; the concrete walls seeming to close in around her as the Handler struck her with his belt over-and-over, angry and red within his face as he shouted profanities and insults at her. She could feel the need to scream, the pain of the sharpened studs cutting into her naked body becoming unbearable, but the soldier could not scream.

She would not speak unless given permission.

"You think you are allowed to look upon me, soldier? Your gaze disgusts me. You are worthless. You are nothing. You are vile; defective. Abonimation! Show me, soldier, show me how disgusting you are and spread your legs."

In the corner of her eye, the soldier could see the Fist of HYDRA grabbing the black book from her pod, and she could not keep her shoulders from squaring in anticipation. She had waited for him to say the words, to activate her and force her to follow new orders as everyone before him had done, but it was not needed.

HYDRA's programming ensured her compliance even without verbal instruction.

дничный день.

The Handler was holding the book with a bored expression upon his brow despite the horrific screams coming from the soldier's mouth, slowly pacing in front of her as the nodules of the Mind Chair released from her head; her body forcefully taking in gulps of air as the pain swept through her skull; a dizzy feeling fogging her mind.

Крест. Разбить. Стимуляция.

The pain was ebbing away, her mind slowly becoming blank as the words seemingly echoed all around the room, her Handler staring down at her from above his nose; the only familiar thing being the look of delightful disgust he wore when around her.

Честность. Спорт. Ось.

It was hurting. The memories were hurting. She didn't want to remember this. She didn't want to hear these words. The soldier knew that being here was wrong, but the confusion tickled at her as her body complied against her will. Being in this moment was wrong, but no matter what she did to fight back to grasp that familiarity, HYDRA would always be one step ahead.

Resistance is futile. You serve no purpose other than to carry out your duty to HYDRA.

Предположение. Север.

It was starting to blank; her mind becoming nothing more than mush for her Handler to play around with as he waited to say the last word with morbid amusement at the look of fear and pain that was crossing her face.

She could not function unless given orders. She would not move. She would not breathe. She would not see nor hear unless given permission.

Her body trembled, shaking as her lungs began to burn slightly; gaps of time beginning to formulate as the soldier became faint until suddenly, everything washed away and became clear again.

Северное сияние.

Like clockwork, her body became relaxed as the familiar feeling of hollow loyalty and a need to please filled her. She was ready to comply and carry out her mission.

Retrieve Fist of HYDRA. Lethal force authorized. Deliver to Gutzkow. Report to Rollins.

She had been aware of the Fist of HYDRA ordering her to follow, and her body moved obediently, following him to the quinjet with the blonde man and waiting; waiting for the opportunity to carry out her mission.

Despite the urgency to fulfill her duty and report back to her Handler, there was a feeling that poked at the outlying tresses of her mind; foreign and confusing that the soldier desperately grasped onto.

She almost felt nervous, even when she was told to sit and she complied without question.

Flaw detected. Reprogramming required.

Report to Rollins.

When the two men had been distracted, she had taken that moment to silently stand and slip the knife within her boot out. However, despite the stealthy steps and silent breaths she took, the true Winter Soldier would always be better.

Her mind had focused on the fight; focusing on ensuring her Handler's satisfaction, but she didn't anticipate the skill and strength that came with the blonde man. He was obviously enhanced, and his shield was familiar to her though she could not place it. However, any attempt to remember was shattered when her knee exploded with pain, and she crumpled.

Failure is not an option. You will succeed.

Every hit, every punch, every kick was brutal; the soldier unable to contain her frustration and desperation to win, and when the Fist of HYDRA had punched her hard within her stomach, she could not help but to retch loudly.

"Despicable! What good is a soldier that can't even withstand pain?!"

Her moment of weakness allowed the Fist to get the jump on her, and all of this had led up to her being imprisoned and compromised. Her Handler would be furious to hear that she had failed.

You will do what it takes. No matter the cost.

Secured to the nines, she was not able to resist. The soldier was malfunctioning, unable to move and comply, and she could hear within her mind over and over.

Flaws Detected. Reprogramming required. Flaws detected. Reprogramming required. Flaws detected. Reprogramming required.

But these scientists were not authorized to reprogram her. These people that were beginning to unwrap syringes and fill them with a clear liquid weren't HYDRA. They weren't allowed to touch her like this.

You will do what it takes. No matter the cost.

The second the syringe had touched her skin, the soldier tried to fight the best she could. Her legs were too anchored, arms and wrists strapped too tight, and the only thing the soldier could do was to yell and scream in frustration and fear. She was failing. She was failing and malfunctioning and it was her fault.

It was her fault. She was a disgrace. An abomination with the audacity to fail.

How pathetic.

A stick, a poke, and a burning sensation, and her eyelids were fluttering. The soldier was compromised. She needed to move. She needed to get out of here and complete her mission.

Error: unable to comply. Flaws detected. Reprogramming required.

For a moment, things were blank and quiet and dark. She could not hear, she could not see, she could not smell, she could not feel, and she could not move. All that she could comprehend was an endless darkness until there was an image beginning to form before her.

The environment began to change, morphing from darkness into a brightly-lit lab that the soldier recognized; a morbid comfort coming across her as she sat within the Mind Chair. Her Handler was standing before her, saying monotonously.

"You are another head of HYDRA. You serve no purpose other than HYDRA. You will be complacent or face consequences. Disobedience will not be tolerated. Will you comply?"

Though she tried to speak and answer, it was as though there was something covering her mouth. The soldier could not answer, and the Handler's face darkened with anger, fear coursing through her as he stepped closer; throwing the book down.

"Will you comply, солдат?"

Once again, the soldier desperately tried to speak, but there was no mouth to speak from. There was no point in trying now, however, she could see it within her Handler's eyes. He was already past the point of forgiveness, and when he snatched a cattle prod from the table beside him, the soldier began to tremble.

The pain was real to her. The pain of the electric shocks and trying to scream from a mouth that did not exist were horrifying to her as her Handler shocked her and grabbed her by the back of her neck; dirtied nails digging into skin so deep that the soldier related it to the feeling of being stabbed.

The concrete was harsh against her skull, disorientation skewing her vision, and a kick to her stomach made her roll over onto her back; the fluorescent lights above her blinding her blurring vision. Tears filled her eyes, and she panicked, attempting to fight back blindly as her Handler laughed at her.

"Oh, so the scum thinks she can fight? Как вы смеете верить что у вас есть свобода не подчиняться!"

Her movements were sluggish due to the electricity that ran through her; her Handler's boots and hands unforgiving as he beat her. Over and over, he stomped on her body and limbs; uncalculated and random. The heel of his boot connected with her hand, crushing her fingers, and she was beginning to sob.

"Disobedience will not be tolerated."

His tone was angry, hissing at her as he kicked her in the face, and when she closed her eyes, the scene disappeared. The soldier immediately became aware that this was a dream.

No, not a dream...a memory. She was remembering.

Remembering means punishment. Remembering means there is a flaw within her design. Remembering means she must report to her Handler for reprogramming. Remembering...remembering...

Flaws detected. Reprogramming required. Reboot suggested.

There was a flash within her mind, a face of a woman, and the soldier tilted her head slightly as she looked at the stranger. The stranger tilted her head as well, and the soldier narrowed her eyes. The stranger copied her, and there was a feeling of unfamiliar dread filling the soldier.

The soldier lifted her scarred hand to the stranger, and the movement was mirrored. It was like the soldier was touching glass, and with a startled realization, she realized that this was glass.

A mirror. The stranger in the mirror was her.

(E/c) eyes that were wide with horror stared back at the soldier, her unmarred mouth gaping with surprise, and the soldier realized that she was wearing a lab coat. There was an emblem embroidered upon her left breast, the words slightly blurry, and she was wearing a nametag as well.

(Y/n).

Was that her name? Was that her name before she became a head of HYDRA? Was it true that she had existed before her time as солдат?

Error: system malfunction. Reboot required.

She was falling. Falling down into the void, and though she wanted to scream, the soldier's mouth stayed closed.

She was not allowed to speak unless given permission.

No matter the cost.

Succeed. Succeed.

..

...

......

succeed what?

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STORY NOTES: The soldier awakens from cryostasis with the knowledge that something is not right. Her Handler and the personnel of HYDRA are missing. The soldier is aware of the pre-existing orders that she received before cryostasis, and begins to carry out her mission.

The soldier then experiences a malfunction and begins to reflect on memories of her Handler when she remembers that inability to complete her orders results in undesirable outcomes for her. She is struck by a memory of when she had attempted to resist her duties, and was met with harsh punishments; her memory alluding to her Handler sexually assaulting her for her resistance.

Despite the soldier experiencing malfunctions within her programming, her desire to please her Handler and to report back to HYDRA enables her to carry out her mission. She reflects further on how the fight between the Fist of HYDRA and the unknown man went, of her failure, and she becomes scared of the realization that she had failed her mission and had become compromised.

Although she tries to fight against the scientists within the unknown lab, she is sedated and falls to sleep. It then that she begins to dream, a memory of a time she had disobeyed her Handler coming to her mind, and she realizes that she is dreaming when the memory fades.

She then is standing before a woman she has never seen before, the woman copying her movements and expressions, and the soldier is startled to realize that the woman she is looking at is her. She discovers the woman has a name, but before she can think more, HYDRA's programming kicks in again, and she is forced deeper into sleep. End Scene.

TRANSLATIONS:

Праздничный день. Крест. Разбить. Стимуляция. Честность. Спорт. Ось. Предположение. Север. Северное сияние. - Holiday. Cross. Shatter. Stimulation. Integrity. Sport. Axis. Assumption. North. Aurora Borealis.

Лох - Stupid/Sucker

солдат - soldier

Как вы смеете верить, что у вас есть свобода не подчиняться - How dare you [to] believe you have the freedom to disobey

TAGLIST: @mgchaser @tilldeathripsusapart @vicmc624 @aash3

[yoonia]

updates & progress

© Yoonia, 2016-2025. All rights reserved — Unauthorized use and/or duplication of these works, including reposting, translating and modification in any form, is strictly prohibited.

Note: I don't accept fic requests unless stated otherwise. My fic commission is open and each received order will be added in the list below.

⇝ Updated: June 6th, 2025

𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | 𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐛𝐨𝐱 | 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐛𝐨𝐱 | 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | 𝐤𝐨-𝐟𝐢 | 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬 | 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 𝐮𝐩𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬

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✎ Dia's Tumblr wrapped 2024

✎ foreword: 2025

✎ work in progress game

✎ February blog update: work in progress

✎ Audio commentary: The (Im)perfect Ending

✎ blog poll: masterlist update

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✎ 𝖘𝖕𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖇𝖑𝖔𝖘𝖘𝖔𝖒 𝖑𝖚𝖑𝖑𝖆𝖇𝖞: 2025 blog anniversary event

✎ Fic poll: Carousel - rewritten posting plan

✎ WIP Wednesday: Carousel & Ever A Never After spoilers

⇝ 𝐨𝐧𝐞-𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬

✎ Nefarious: In Motion - a side story | Jimin x reader | 39,246 words ⟶ Welcome to Club La Rouge, where your sexual fantasies come to life.  Accepting his offer might cause inconveniences for both of you, but do you really have it in you to say no? ⟶ Updated: Jan 10th, 2025

✎ Love Is Banned | Jaebum x reader | 10,901 words ⟶ Heartbroken beyond repair, you escape to your brother’s place hours away from home, desperate to avoid the Valentine’s Day soiree happening around you—only to find yourself trapped in the middle of his love-filled house party. Seeking solitude, you are surprised to find the perfect source of comfort from the last person you had ever expected to meet tonight. ⟶ Updated: Mar 18th, 2025

✎ Red Vibe | Yoongi x reader | 11,510 words ⟶ A lover who enjoys driving you crazy with his wicked plans, a feral need of pleasure that is uneasy to be tamed, and a lavish wedding that your man always finds himself getting bored in. When Yoongi says it’s playtime, you have no choice but to have him play with you the way he pleases. ⟶ Updated: Mar 29th, 2025

✎ Sunset Glow (M) | Hoseok x reader | 13,678 words ⟶ As you accidentally stumble upon a reminder of the past that you have been slowly walking away from, you finally get to see Hoseok losing his resolve for the first time. It is now your turn to become his rock, and help remind him the reason why he has always been yours. ⟶ Updated: May 24th, 2025

⇝ 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬

✎ lost boys: threadbare hearts — masterlist | Got7 series ⟶ A collection of short stories about seven boys who are unfortunate in love, and how they walk down the path of redemption in search of healing, finding new meanings in life and love.  ⟶ Updated: Mar 18th, 2025

✎ Bedroom Hymns | Yoongi x reader ⟶ Haunted by the questions about your father’s past and the dark tales that seem to follow him, the thousand mysterious doors and the secrets waiting for you to reveal, and the mysterious Prince that has been following your shadows between realms, you are off to a new adventure in the Land Far Far Away.

✎ Ever a Never After | Jungkook x female reader; Seokjin x female reader ⟶ Thrust into a new challenge and shown a new side of life, you find yourself standing in a crossroad. When the moment arises, would you find your way back home to your true love, or is the universe trying to show you that sometimes happy endings don’t have to be written so perfectly?

✎ Hot Mess | Taehyung x female reader ⟶ He might be one of the most desired man in the world, but the same cannot be said when it come to your own feelings for him. Being forced to work with him again would be the last thing that you had ever expected after the initial adversity you had with him when you first met.

✎ Bed & Boyfriend(s) 2: Kiss It Better (M)  | Taehyung x female reader; Jungkook x Yoongi; Jungkook x female reader x Yoongi ⟶ An emotional turmoil led you running from your lover, before finding solitude in your new friends-turned-lovers. Yet mistakes were made, and you are bound to take all the punishments that you deserved. And you’ll take it all, trusting that your lovers will be there to kiss it better. 

✎ 28 Days (M) | Taehyung x reader; Jungkook x reader ⟶ For years, you've lived as if drifting aimlessly with the current, slowly losing sight of what your heart truly desires. But life’s currents are never predictable, and when the tides shift, you're unprepared for the ripple effect taking you along with it. Now, as you're pulled downstream, you're forced to confront the secrets you've buried deep below the surface. 

➛ 𝕘𝕖𝕟𝕖𝕣𝕒𝕝 𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕥: ✎ [patreon masterpost] WIP Graveyard

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➛ 𝕛𝕒𝕟𝕦𝕒𝕣𝕪: ✎ [poll] patreon membership gift ✎ [announcement] patreon shop release ✎ [special content] cover reveal: Round The Carousel ✎ [patreon short] Swim; an original short story

➛ 𝕗𝕖𝕓𝕣𝕦𝕒𝕣𝕪: ✎ [patreon freebies] 28 days writing challenge ✎ [shop] Digital Novel Writing Preparation Workbook ✎ [patreon freebies] February patreon membership gift ✎ [patreon short] Fear; an original short story ✎ [audio commentary] The idea and writing process behind The (Im)perfect Ending

➛ 𝕞𝕒𝕣𝕔𝕙: ✎ [patreon freebies] March patreon membership gift ✎ [fic teaser] Crash Into Me; Bambam (GOT7) x female reader ✎ [writing class] Writing 101 – #02 How to Give Your Novel A Strong Story Premise

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¸¸.·¯⍣✩ 𝔤𝔬 𝔱𝔬 𝖓𝖆𝖛𝖎𝖌𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓 𝖕𝖆𝖌𝖊 ¸¸.·¯⍣✩

[covid-safer-hotties]

Reference saved in our archive

62% of responding EU's nations accept organs for transplants from covid-positive donors with ongoing acute symptoms. A new route for blood-borne illness going unchecked?

Abstract

SARS-CoV-2 infection represents a new challenge for solid organ transplantation (SOT) with evolving recommendations. A cross-sectional survey was performed (February–June 2024) to describe practices among Member States of the Council of Europe (COE) on the use of organs from deceased donors with resolved or active SARS-CoV-2 infection. Overall, 32 out of 47 Member States with a transplant program participated in the study. Four (12.5%) countries did not use organs from deceased donors either with resolved or with active SARS-CoV-2 infection and 8 (25%) countries accepted organs only from deceased donors with resolved SARS-CoV-2 infection. Donor evaluation for SARS-CoV-2 included universal screening with standard PCR testing on respiratory specimens generally (61.4%) performed within 24 h prior to organ recovery. Further microbiological, immunological and radiological investigations varied. Most waitlisted patients receiving organs from a deceased donor with active (94.5%) or resolved (61.5%) SARS-CoV-2 infection were preferred to have natural, vaccine-induced or hybrid SARS-CoV-2 immunity. Most countries did not require recipients to undergo specific anti-SARS-CoV-2 treatment as pre-exposure (0%), post-exposure prophylaxis (15.4%) or modification of immunosuppression regimen (24%). This study highlights similarities and heterogeneities in the management of SARS-CoV-2 positive donors between COE countries, and a potential to safely expand donors’ pool.

[shortnotsweet]

HEAD HEART HANDS: “TURNING A NEW PAGE”

Charlotte is hardwired for realism. It’s a hefty task, given the present company and the dubious physics that have kept them all alive for the past few years, but if a resume could receive an A+, her feats in risk assessment and time-sensitive innovation deserved it. Charlotte would know; she installed the updates herself. Still, with the leader of their trio absent and Jasper dealing with impossibilities on the side, the biggest challenge these days is seeing eye-to-eye.

[ Jasper and Charlotte discuss Henry’s leave of absence, as well as his radio silence. ]

The mythology of Greek craftsman, inventor, and architect Daedalus has been cited by a variety of sources, including Homer, Pliny the Elder (Pliny’s Natural History, AD 77-79), and Plato, the latter of which interpreted his inventory and intellect as a parallel for the pursuit of truth. Pliny credited him with the invention of carpentry, as well as ship sails and masts, in addition to sculptures so lifelike they may as well have been animated; his genius was so evident that life was born into the wood. The most famous of his feats, however, was the tale of wings constructed out of wax, and the fall of his son, Icarus, into the sea.

It’s one thing to live in pursuit of knowledge. It’s not like that’s a bad thing, per se. Plenty of people do, and are perfectly content people with no lingering emotional or psychological hangups. That being said, the itch of knowing and the object of doing are not the same. For doctors who treat the sick in the morning and the engineers who study maths to reach the moon, knowledge alone is poor sustenance. For years—too early—invention has been a means of civic duty. She is too clever to fall into the sea unplanned, but she’s not heartless. She’ll make them wings, and a parachute. She left Harvard and the future she’d made for herself to follow the people she loved. Love—to the point of modification. To the point of invention.

[shrot-t]

dragons...

more on these guys under the cut

@uimiles and i have been cooking wof ocs for a bit now. left to right they are Apex (ice/rain), Terminus (night), and Bleak (ice/night). Apex is mine and the other two are his. big fan of them all

Apex is my dear picture-perfect third circle IceWing. born and raised under the pressure and expectations of the traditional IceWing aristocracy while sworn to secrecy regarding their mother's tryst with a RainWing, they act much colder than even their perpetual-stick-up-the-ass peers and refuse to show any vulnerability or weakness. as it stands, their RainWing traits are subtle enough to be hidden or passed off as body modifications, particularly since they've never been in suitable-enough conditions to let their colors change properly. their life is an endless cycle of overcompensating for being born to an affair with the "least respectable" tribe and pretending they are above trivial things such as joy and companionship

Bleak was conceived on Pyrrhia's mainland by a rogue NightWing-IceWing couple and hatched under one moon to no one. they didn't have to raise themself, though -- they were soon found by a sand/sea animus who took them in and cared for them as their own. their mentor/parental figure turned out to be a scientist who ran (mostly) harmless and (not really) ethical experiments using their magic, and once bleak was old enough, they were allowed to assist to a degree, primarily through fieldwork and going off to explore and do recon. they have a particular propensity for combat, and will challenge just about anyone they meet to a spar with little to no regard for right time or right place. their foresight manifests in the form of knowing what will happen in the next few seconds, so most of the time, they are effectively living a little bit in the future.

Terminus comes into the picture much later than Bleak and Apex do. enchanted as an egg by a mysterious, unknown animus, he hatched with no fire, utterly unparalleled strength and speed, and a mother who didn't particularly care for having a child. he received no education up until his mother's decision to make an attempt at being rid of him by burning him to a crisp, after which he was left charred and scarred all over and still received no education. a few years later, he made the decision to leave, and made the flight overseas from the NightWing kingdom to the mainland in just about two minutes. he crash landed in the woods near what he would later learn were the SkyWing kingdom's mountains, and was found + taken in by a guard.

they're friendses. it's a bit of a bumpy road but they become friendses eventually.

[anniflamma]

Rating the most gayest King David adaptions

For the past few weeks, I have been watching and reviewing ALOT different adaptations of the story of King David from the Bible to determine which ones are the gayest.

But first, let me provide you with a recap of David and Jonathan's story.

David and Jonathan were two central figures in the Hebrew Bible, with their story primarily found in the First Book of Samuel. David was a ruddy shepherd boy who became famous for slaying the giant Goliath with a stone and a sling. Jonathan, on the other hand, was the son of King Saul, the first king of Israel. Jonathan's heart was captured instantly upon seeing the striking young hero. As the Bible says, “The soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David.” Shortly after their first meeting, David and Jonathan expressed their commitment by making a covenant with each other. This significant moment is vividly portrayed in 1 Samuel 18:3-4: "Then Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as his own soul. Jonathan removed the robe he was wearing and presented it to David, along with his armor, sword, bow, and girdle." David and Jonathan grew so close that it appeared they might one day rule Israel together throughout the following 15 years. However, they faced numerous challenges when King Saul grew jealous of David's popularity and success, fearing that David might take the throne from his family. Saul attempted to kill David multiple times, while Jonathan consistently came to his friend's rescue through various means. However, they were eventually forced to part ways. "And as soon as the lad was gone, David arose out of a place toward the South, fell on his face to the ground, and bowed himself three times. They kissed one another and wept, one with another, until David exceeded." Tragically, Jonathan lost his life in battle against the Philistines, leaving David in deep mourning. He composed a heartfelt lament known as the "Song of the Bow" (or what is famously called “How the Mighty Fallen”) to honor Jonathan and Saul's memory. "I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother; you were very dear to me. Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women."

So, as you can see, I will rate each adaptation based on its portrayal of three specific moments:

Jonathan removes his clothes and makes a covenant with David.

When they have to separate from each other, as they embrace, kiss, cry, and David exceeds.

David's lament that he loved Jonathan more than women.

If these three moments are faithfully retained in the adaptation without altering the text, it will be considered queer in my evaluations. Naturally, there may be exceptions if the adaptation deviates significantly from the original material or if it primarily focuses on adapting specific aspects of the story while still hinting at or incorporating subtexts. In such cases, they may also receive points.

NOW, LET'S BEGIN!

Disclaimer: Some of these "reviews" will sound professional, while others I will act like a gremlin, because these movies actually broke my brain cells. So if you get whiplash from how my behavior suddenly changes all the time, consider yourself warned.

Another disclaimer: Don't be like me and do something similar to this... I don't think this was healthy for my brain.

Jonathan what now..? 1/5

So I'm going to be kind and bring up that the story of King David is long, especially if you make an adaption of his whole life. It's reasonable to expect modifications to accommodate the chosen medium. And frequently, this leads to Jonathan's character being sidelined, either because he's deemed less important or because there's too little time to delve into his role in the story.

Due to that, I won't delve deeply into those adaptions because of that.

Superbook Reimagined (2011) - CBN

Jonathan doesn't exist in Superbook... That all. I WONT TALK ABOUT THE SUPERBOOK.

David and Goliath - Animated Stories from the Bible (1985) - Rich Animation Studios

So this one is pretty interesting. Apparently the same studio that made The Swan Princess (1994) made the series called Animated Stories from the Bible. And I weren't aware of this while watching this episode, however I did noticed, that yes, this had a very low budget but you could tell that it was made by professionals. I have one thing I need to comment on this movie. Eliab and Jonathan looks pretty goooood...

I mean LOOK AT JONATHAN! FFF***KING HELL! HE LOOKS LIKE A HOT VILLIAN AND I LOVE IT! The character designs are sleek! Expect for David. David was trash. So why is this one so low down on my ratings? You see the episode only focus on the upcoming fight between David and Goliath. In a sense, the episode's emotional core are more about David and his brother Eliab, with the brother not believing that David could defeat the enemy. Jonathan has a really small role, and he doesn't really interact with David that much. However there is a scene, when Saul gives his armor to the shepherd and it doesn't fit him cuz he is a smol bean, Jonathan comments on that the boy is going to get killed while having this frustrating / angry tone. Indicating that Jonathan don't believe that David and of course get astonished once he triumph. But that is all we get. I wished I could rate this higher simply to I just love the character designs.

David - A Musical by Sound & Sight Theater

Alright, I'm going to say it. This is probably the most campiest and "we need to tell you about Jesus" - musical there is. The songs are freaking great, very modern, almost anime-ish and very EPIC! But then they suddenly they strike you with, "Hey do you know who Jesus is?" Anyway, my favorite songs of this musical is Never Back and Psalm 24.

I only listened to this musical on its recorded album. Overall, I found it very enjoyable! However, I was quite disappointed that they didn't have Jonathan none of their songs. There were no solos for him, and all I could do was imagine if there was a strip covenant scene or not between each number. They didn't even have a "We are best bros" song! They also removed a lot from the emotional core when David mourned the loss of Jonathan. David sings the song "How The Mighty Fall," which is very short, but for some reason, I really liked it. Even though it's short and David only repeats Jonathan's name over and over again, I could feel that sadness. Still, the musical also left out several scenes from the original story, possibly because it aimed to be more family-friendly and was very sanitized so no one would get upset. AND WHY IS THIS MUSICAL ENDING WITH JESUS?!!

David “the straightest man” and Michal his truest love that has ever existed before Bathsheba came into the picture and a lot of Shoulder Taps for Jonathan 2/5

Superbook (1981) - Tatsunoko Productions

I can't believe that I watched three episodes of Superbook... Can I explain this mess without dying inside? So, this is a Japanese anime from 1981. The series covers the events of the entire Bible in its 52-episode run. I watched the English dub, and yeah, what else can I say? It's probably the best dub I've ever heard, with genius acting, including their screams. You can tell they aren't really screaming because they know it will break the mics. To get straight to the point, their relationships are just good friendships, and they see each other as brothers. However, they do follow the story very faithfully, pun intended. But, of course, they add in more scenes with Michal so her relationship with David looks romantic, and Jonathan takes on a wingman role. There is no stripping scene, which is understandable since it's an animated series for kids. Instead, they merge the covenant scene with their separation. To sum it up, they shake hands and repeatedly tell the audience that they are only friends. Okay, we get it!

But then we have the Lament scene: "Oh Lord, may you have mercy on his soul. Your glory, O Israel, has been slain. How the mighty have fallen in battle. I grieve for you, Jonathan, my brother… My brother…" THEY WERE SO CLOSE! They looked at the rest, "You were very dear to me. Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women," and then they were like CUT! But the best delivery line in this adaptation must go to Saul: "How stupid to believe he could murder a hundred philistines without being murdered HA HA HA HA!" I can't do this anymore…!

King David (1997) - Mondo TV

This Italian animated movie features child actors who can't seem to deliver a line without mumbling and speaking at the lowest decibel levels imaginable. Thank goodness that Kid David and Kid Jonathan grew up after… Let me check… The first 15 minutes of this movie… Well, they are childhood friends in this one, so I guess that's a win. Michal is from Sweden. Saul repeatedly tells his (also Swedish) wife to stfu in every scene he's in. Storywise, this movie shakes things up a bit. When David is chased into the wilderness, both Michal and Jonathan join him…? It's really confusing what's going on because the next moment Jonathan is back with Saul, hearing his plan to attack David in the mountains, so he runs back to David to deliver the news. All of this happens in about 3 minutes. But when they finally have their farewell scene, they, of course, do the Shoulder Tap! However, they hug with an animation that lasts for like 3 frames, and… you know what, I'll just let you witness this…

And then we have the Lament. It's pretty faithful, but as you guessed, they changed the last line from "You were very dear to me. Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women." to "I loved Jonathan as a brother. We rode together, his hair flowing free in the wind." …I don't know if they made it worse or better…

King David - A musical by Alan Menken & Tim Rice

I acted like a fangirl when I realized that Alan Menken and Tim Rice had created a musical about King David! I was so hyped and really thought it was going to be really gay... I think I expected too much...

The musical premiered in 1997 and was a grand and ambitious show. While it may not be as well-known as some of Menken and Rice's other collaborations, such as "The Little Mermaid" or "Beauty and the Beast," I was blown away that this musical even existed in the first place. The music itself is really good. It reminds me of "The Hunchback of Notre Dame" but more campy. My favorite is the song "The Death Of Saul." Genius! And of course, "Never Again," sung by Judy Kuhn. There are so many Disney stars in this show! It's insane! However, this musical is not without its flaws. The story's scope, which covers many events, can at times feel rushed or disjointed. The mistake that the creators made was trying to cover it all. So the musical has 2 acts. The first is about David in his younger years until he becomes king, and the second act covers everything from Bathsheba to Absalom's revolt, ending with kid Solomon singing about Jerusalem. This results in Jonathan becoming like a background character, and this makes me really angry. So almost every scene that David and Jonathan have together, Jonathan is replaced with Michal. TIM?! ALAN?! What are you two doing??? You are basically telling us, without explicitly telling us, that the relationship of David and Jonathan is queer by having Michal instead. Like... what..? This is the same guy who made "Jesus Christ Superstar," and that show is definitely "not straight", so I have no idea what's going on in his head. Anyway, Jonathan has only 1 song/melody called "You Have It All." It's when Saul shows that he's going crazy when David becomes popular, and Jonathan takes David away from the palace to a safe place. Sigh... You can tell by the lyrics that Tim is trying to be cheeky but immediately backtracks by having both David and Jonathan overly articulate the word "friend" in the song. (I seriously recommend you to listen to the song, just so you understand what I mean.) DAVID "I love my friend!!! as I love life and both I cherish. Uncompromising and unfailing. I swear this covenant we make will never perish. In any circumstance prevailing" JONATHAN "It's very hard when things come easy. You start to fear a bitter end. I promise you, you have a friend!!!" However, Jonathan gets a reprise again in the separation scene, but then Michal suddenly pushed Jonathan aside and takes it over with her own song. Then we have the Lament. The song itself is really good and beautiful. It's like a sad Disney song. But the lyrics themselves have this uncertain tone on who David is singing about. But they do reveal it at the end. "Jonathan... Jonathan... Who loved me more bravely than you, whether harlots or wives!" We can clearly see that David mourns over him. But for me, it feels so awkward...

They are just friends..? 3/5

The King: Story of David (2004)

I felt like I was on shrooms watching this. There's this three-minute scene where David sings to Saul... I can't even explain it, it's just horrible. Poor Saul looks absolutely horrified when this abomination of character design from a different show enters the room and sings with the voice of an adult woman.

AND WHY IS MICHAL PURPLE?! They also switch her name’s pronunciations like 5 times in this movie... Well, about Jonathan. So they took the approach that David is a literary child and had Jonathan as an adult… What the hell am I supposed to say about this? Oh god... I hate this.

Then David grows up, gets the same artstyle as the other adults and instead of Saul nagging David to marry Michal, it's David himself that asks Saul to marry his daughter, just to make sure that we know that he loves her soooo much. This results in Saul wanting to kill him, which leads to the separation scene. So maybe you are now asking me, why is this movie up here on the list? Looks like they made sure that David was the straightest man that has ever straightening. Oooh, I’ll get there. So we get to see a jpg of David and Jonathan look at each other for like 10 seconds, then tap each other on their shoulders, look at each other eyes and David says with the most sultry voice ever “Jonathan…”. Surprisingly, hug each other and weep. huh… didn't expect that. That voice that David used was enough to make the whole freaking movie a gay so that's why it's up here. If I ever have to watch this again, I need to get paid.

The Bible (2013)

Ah, yes, I remember this one. I watched it when it aired on TV, and I was just a wee little teen falling in love with the guy who played Samson. But we'll be watching the fourth episode of "The Bible Series." This episode was a speed run through the whole story of David, with a lot of stuff cut. Yet, the subtext in this adaptation is gorgeous! We have David walking to Goliath and Jonathan looking on with worry in his eyes—MULTIPLE TIMES! And miraculously, the actor managed to hit Goliath despite having the freaking sun in his eyes at full blast. That poor actor with his nonstop squinted eyes couldn’t see shit on set. Once Goliath is defeated, Jonathan and Saul run to David and are proud of him. All we get from the Covenant Stripping scene is Jonathan taking David's hand and telling him to come with him and fight the enemies, like best bros! Then a montage arrives, and David and Jonathan are older. Saul is jealous and touches David a little too much for my comfort. Meanwhile, Jonathan is just sitting on the floor eating figs. Wat?

And then Saul proposes the idea that David should marry Michal, and Jonathan's face falls. Gasp! David gets sent to kill 100 Philistines, and we get this wonderful scene with Saul and Jonathan. Saul: "You love him like a brother, don't you?" Jonathan responds with a warm, soft smile, looking at David riding away. "I do..." Saul gives off big "My son is totally straight" vibes. Sadly, this episode neither has the separating scene nor anything that resembles a covenant. And yes, they also skipped the majority of the Lament. Maybe I am projecting... I am probably projecting.

They are friends! I PROMISE! 4/5

King David (1985) - Paramount Pictures

This movie provides a different angle on the biblical story of David and Jonathan. The film includes a line that suggests a strong emotional connection between the two characters, though it doesn't explicitly delve into romance. It doesn't say that David and Jonathan are in a romantic relationship, but it makes you think that they have deeper layers to their "bond." In other words, I really ship them in this adaptation! They didn't have the strip scene, but they did have a scene where both of them are at a lake, water sparkling in the sun, looking into each other's eyes. Jonathan softly cups David's cheek and says, "I love you as I love my own soul."

... Wait, he touched his shoulder softly, not his cheek... Forget it. But they are very tender toward each other. However, we can't have great things because the separation scene was very weak. All we get is that they are both on horses, and then they just say goodbye, and that's it. No hugs, no tears, no kissing, and no exceeding David. But I can add that Jonathan's death was very heartbreaking. After watching awful animated death scenes, it was a breath of fresh air. The Lament, for some reason, had a spooky tune, not really like a man grieving for his soulmate. Why is this adaptation so high up for me? Well, Jonathan said "I love you" while looking into David's eyes with a beautiful natural background. That is enough for me.

Ancient Lovers 5/5

Beloved King: A queer bible musical

(There mentions of SA)

You can already tell by the name of the musical... "Beloved King" follows the young shepherd David as he is thrust from rural fields into the royal court. After his sudden rise to prominence, David finds himself the object of affection of both the heir to the throne, Prince Jonathan, and his father, the domineering King Saul, forcing David to re-navigate his relationship to love and power as he tries to follow the path laid out for him by a mysterious entity called God. The first-ever staged readings of "Beloved King," complete with all songs and live accompaniment, were scheduled for March 12th and March 13th, 2020, at Oberon, the second stage of the American Repertory Theater, in Harvard Square. Both events sold out well in advance, but they were canceled the day before opening due to COVID-19. However, the team rallied and quickly pivoted to film a dress rehearsal in an empty theater just before lockdown. One of the most hilarious things about this musical is that the characters are dressed in simple linen garments that look like they belong in a children's nativity school play, only to have David and/or Jonathan strip and expose their flashy sparkling spandex briefs. Undeniably, it fits perfectly with the nightclub-inspired atmosphere that this show has.

This musical feels like it's straight from the Archive of Our Own. Jonathan and David are dating, and we have a jealous Saul who is not jealous of David's popularity, instead, he desires him sexually and tries to bang him. When David denies Saul, that's when Saul tries to kill him instead.

The musical has all three scenes checked. The covenant scene, with Jonathan stripping and "more." There was a scene of their farewell, however, they haven't released that one song, so I can't really say anything about it yet. Lastly, the lament song in its full glory. Sadly, the whole musical isn't out yet. They have only released six demo samples, and let me say that "ADONI" is THE MEET-CUTE SONG!

This musical was the very thing that made me nerd out on the Bible again. So maybe I am biased, but how can I be biased if they depict David and Jonathan's first meeting with them banging each other in Jonathan's tent?

David et Jonathas: An opera by Marc-Antoine Charpentier

This one was a hidden gem I didn't know existed. Thank you @alatabouleau for the recommendation! It's an opera from 1688. It's all in French, so I was worried that I would have missed all of the lyrics, but I found a translation pamphlet and found one of the concerts on the live-opera Versailles website. All I can say is it was beautiful and so, so, so queer.

The prologue starts with Saul, disguised as a visitor, consulting the Witch of Endor to learn his fate in an upcoming battle against the Philistines. The Witch summons the spirit of Samuel, who predicts Saul's downfall, including losing his family and crown.

In Act 1, David, banished by Saul, seeks refuge among the Philistines. He returns from a victory and is praised by warriors, shepherds, and freed captives. David only wishes that, whatever may come, Jonathan should be spared. The Philistine king tells David that a truce has been arranged between the Philistines and Saul to discuss whether there shall be peace or war.

In Act 2, during the truce, David and Jonathan reunite. And then they both sing the song “A vostre bras vainqueur,” and it's the most beautiful harmonic song I have ever heard. It sounds so romantic, even if they are only singing about them being best friends. However, jealousy brews as Joabel challenges David to combat, leading to a plot against him. Joabel convinces Saul that David is a threat, leading to David's exile again.

In Act 3, Saul accuses David of treason, and David is forced to leave. However, Jonathan follows David into the wilderness so they can sing their goodbye, “Vous me fuiez!” Don’t forget this is an opera, so everyone is really dramatic, and I'm loving it. JONATHAN “You flee from me!” DAVID “You always follow me!” JONATHAN “May I not share my grief with you?” DAVID “See into what danger my misfortune leads you. Let us forget one another.” JONATHAN “Cruel one!“ The song continues with them singing about not wanting to be apart and if they see each other in the battlefield, they won’t fight, but instead save the one they love. And then the song ends with David trying to leave again, and Jonathan begs once more, only to be told by David: “Would you now wish to add to my torment with your tears?”

This song… I want to make an animatic of it...

In Act 4, Saul prepares to battle the Philistines and David. Both armies are eager for war, fueled by Joabel's manipulations. David promises to save Jonathan and his father.

And lastly, in Act 5, the battle unfolds, with Saul's defeat. Then the song “Qu’on sauve Jonathas” starts. Jonathan is mortally wounded, and David finds him. He believes that Jonathan is dead and mourns for him, which wakes Jonathan up to be able to speak to David one last time, asking: “What sad voice is calling me?”. David begs Jonathan for him to live, but the prince tells him that he can’t. And with his final words, he kisses David and then dies in his arms.

“Despite the harshness of my fate, At least I can still tell you that I love you. ” David is to be declared the new king of Israel, but he still grieves for Jonathan, ending the opera with his final line: “I have lost what I love. My Lord, to me all is lost.”

Well, I cried in my bed.

I didn't know that I needed a story where David was by Jonathan's side in his last moments in life. And the kiss! THE KISS! Though the kiss depends on which adaptations you see. If it's 2022, then there is no kiss, but if it's the 2012 version, then there is one. However, with or without a kiss, it's still romantically tragic.

Here is PDF links to pamphlets with english translations:

English translation (2009 version)

English + German translation (1998 version)

The Prince's Psalm: A novel by Eric Swan Quinn

So here it is, Beloved King: A queer bible musical was the one that pushed me down into the rabbit hole but The Prince's Psalm was the one that got me stuck here. I highly recommend this book, and it leaves me speechless how it isn't more popular! So The Prince’s Psalm is a queer and romantic retelling of the story of David and Jonathan from the Bible. The book begins with David's childhood, providing perspectives on his early life and relationships, especially with Micah and David’s family. Micah and David had a deep friendship that grew into young love and they became each other's firsts. A core theme that comes up regularly in this novel is about being treated and viewed as equal in a healthy relationship. Micah held a weird place in my heart. I enjoyed “not liking” him. I could immediately see his immaturity in his relationship with David. Of course, I understand they were both young  and immature, yet this was important to emphasize the message, which I believe it’s about being equal in a relationship. Micah loved David, but he saw him somewhat beneath him due to David not fitting the stereotypical masculine man image. And every time they "play" with each other Micah calls David "My Slave" despite David's irritated and uncomfortable of it. So the moment when Jonathan is introduced, the first thing he calls David is "My Prince" and do everything that David wishes Micah would do for him but wouldn't. If we are going to compare Jonathan and Micah, it's pretty obvious which one are the right choice. But who cares about Micah, we are talking about Jonathan and David now! So the plot follows Jonathan summons David, hoping on his musical talents to aid King Saul's from being tormented by “evil spirits”. David's initial experiences within the palace only reinforce his sense of inadequacy in the eyes of those he admires and cares for. He plays tirelessly, day and night, in an effort to soothe the king's troubles, ultimately healing King Saul's fears of God’s abandonment. From that moment forward, Jonathan can no longer resist David's charms, leading the two to become inseparable. As they spend a winter together, their bond deepens, uniting their bodies and souls. The novel doesn't delve into explicit sexual scenes, instead, it focuses on the emotional connection between the two characters. Nevertheless, they do have quite a lot of intense passionate sessions, it just written with a flowery language. So their oath, the exchanged rings, the beautiful yet sad promises, is heart moving. Every moment felt perfect and captivating! Jonathan's death left me shattered. I cried a lot. And cried even more when the book included the whole Lament. After devouring all 480 pages, I found myself wanting the story to continue. Eric Shaw Quinn made a wonderful job in reimagining the familiar narrative yet adding new in depth layers to it. I wholeheartedly love this novel! So is it gay? Yes.

THE END!

Finally, I have finished everything. There was more, but there is no way in hell I will continue.

What did I learn from this experience?

Nothing really, except that the people whose arguments claim that David and Jonathan's relationship isn't romantic at all, yet in the same breath, they can replace Jonathan with Michal, and suddenly it is romantic. I learned that their arguments are worthless at the core.

But despite with the pain and cringing, I loved nerd out about my favorite David and Jonathan adaptations! And I think I did this just because of that.

[vendettaspathfanfic]

Chapter Nine

CONTENT WARNING: This chapter is where the more full-on action gore begins. It also contains mentions (not depictions or descriptions) of suicide. Reader discretion is advised.

(Chapter Index)

(Previous)

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As previously mentioned, Moebius found itself in the throes of an environmental crisis. Despite the lack of government support for initiatives to address the crisis, various efforts were being made. One prominent player in these efforts was BioSphere Reclamation Inc., a widely recognized private company. Individuals utilizing their services could opt to pay a one-time or monthly fee, with the funds allocated to projects aimed at cleaning up selected neighborhoods in various cities. Typically, affluent neighborhoods received more attention compared to lower-income areas.

Upon accumulating sufficient funds for a specific location, BioSphere would dispatch teams of cleaners to tackle issues such as litter, graffiti, and general uncleanliness, while also nurturing green spaces within the area.

While such companies tended to benefit the affluent more than others, there were more charitable alternatives available. Dr. Kintobor’s SWEEPbot service, for instance, operated on a non-profit, cost-effective model, albeit facing significant challenges in the battle to preserve a deteriorating planet. Nonetheless, Dr. Kintobor’s efforts played a pivotal role in establishing natural reserves like the Moebian Grand Forest.

Surrounded by a scarcity of thriving nature, McKenna often found herself pondering the potential location of a place she faintly remembered, a place teeming with lush greenery and beauty. However, her recollection of the time before she was adopted was shrouded in a dense fog, impervious to restoration despite her adopted mother's earnest attempts.

That’s what her mother told her anyways.

Over the span of the last decade, Dr. Versipelle had been her mother, providing her sustenance, conducting lab tests, dressing her, subjecting her to body modifications, empowering her, sequestering her, showing her affection, and terrifying her. Following a disturbing incident where McKenna was ordered to taste the blood of a dead man and experience the echoes of his tragic demise through the residual energy in the sample, Her mother tenderly tucked her into bed and recited poetry to soothe her. After undergoing unwelcome surgeries that involved the modification or replacement of various parts of her body, McKenna would be beautifully serenaded on the piano. And following instances where she pushed her magical abilities to their limits, causing her nerves to feel as though they were ablaze, Dr. Versipelle would join her for tea in the greenhouse.

Now, McKenna found herself alone in the greenhouse, awaiting to be called in for a forthcoming surgery intended to adjust her brain and replace her eyes once more, enabling her to perceive visions with utmost clarity. Despite her disappointment about this—having been assured last year that her third-eye abilities had reached their peak—her mother explained that a new threat had emerged, compelling them to leave no stone unturned in service of the Suppression Squad and the greater good, a mission that encompassed both of their fates.

She reproached herself for her surprise at the revelation. As her mother often emphasized, the realm of science and technology was in a perpetual state of advancement. If it were true that progress knew no bounds as aforementioned, there would always be opportunities for further modifications, experiments, training, and pain.

Yet in that moment, all McKenna yearned for was to immerse herself in nature, even if it only manifested within the confines of a softly illuminated greenhouse. From the earthy soil to the delicate petals, the environment felt like a sanctuary to her—a place that resonated with a sense of belonging. Her thoughts drifted to the forest of her distant recollections, envisioning the sensation of grass beneath her feet, the gentle rustle of wind through the trees, and the harmonious melody of a flowing river. She held onto the determination that one day, she would somehow relive these mysterious yet beautiful memories.

Sitting on the edge of a concrete planter box brimming with a bed of roses, McKenna delicately inserted her finger into the soil. With closed eyes, she concentrated intently and took a deep breath, causing her finger to emit a soft glow beneath the dirt, illuminating the surrounding soil. Upon withdrawing her finger, a small yet beautiful daisy bloomed within the spot that had shimmered moments before.

"Hello, little friend," McKenna murmured tenderly, stepping down from the planter box and kneeling in front of the freshly sprouted daisy, viewing it at eye level. "I know you're amidst roses instead of daisies, but there are no daisy beds here. The roses are quite lovely too, however," she remarked softly, extending her hand to caress the velvety petal of one of the roses.

"McKenna, to whom were you speaking?"

Startled, McKenna swiftly turned towards her mother and rose to her feet with her eyes widened. "Nobody, mother," she replied meekly.

"You act as though you've been caught in a transgression," Stellaria remarked slowly, approaching her daughter with a scrutinizing gaze, her hands concealed behind her back.

"I was just looking at the flowers..." McKenna stammered, her fingers twiddling nervously while her arms remained rigidly at her sides.

"Maintain eye contact," Stellaria commanded sharply, causing McKenna to swiftly meet her mother's gaze, which was swiftly followed by a pleased smile before Stellaria redirected her attention to the flowers. "Did you plant that daisy there?"

Aware that she couldn't deceive her mother, given Stellaria's unparalleled understanding of psychology and ability to detect when someone lies; McKenna hesitated before responding, her trembling fingers betraying her nerves. "The gardeners still haven't planted the daisies that you requested for me, mother. It's just a small one," she explained.

"It's an eyesore. It doesn't belong there," Stellaria remarked icily, pointing at the flower. "Pluck it."

With a crestfallen expression, McKenna knelt down slowly and plucked the daisy from the flower bed. She knew she could preserve it in a glass of water for a brief period, but the little daisy would be deprived of the company of other flowers. Despite the dissimilarities between the daisy and the surrounding flowers, McKenna couldn't help but feel a sense of remorse that the lone flower couldn't flourish within a populous garden setting.

"I would have preferred a more mature attitude from you, McKenna," Stellaria remarked, her eyes narrowing as she fixed her daughter with a stern gaze. "You do trust my judgment over a silly flower, don't you?"

"Of course, mother," McKenna replied softly, shaping her expression into a neutral mask.

"Good. It's time for your surgery. Follow me," Stellaria announced, turning on her heel and gesturing for McKenna to accompany her.

"Mother..." McKenna began tentatively, her voice trembling as she sought to decipher her mother's inscrutable expression. "I've been thinking... perhaps if I focused on meditation more, I could enhance my ability to see visions clearly without undergoing surgery."

Glaring at McKenna with icy contempt, Stellaria crossed her arms. "Let me pose a question to you, McKenna. Do you believe that any of my actions are motivated by malice towards you?"

Taken aback, McKenna gasped, raising her hands defensively and shaking her head quickly. "No! I was just—"

"Do you think I act impulsively? How little faith do you have in me, really? Every decision I make is the culmination of generations of research and my unwavering love for you. What causes you to doubt my reasoning, McKenna?" Stellaria hissed, looming over McKenna with a look of disdain.

"Nothing, mother!" McKenna protested, tears welling up in her eyes as she bowed her head in shame.

"Nothing makes you doubt me?" Stellaria growled, seizing McKenna's chin to force her to meet her gaze.

"No! I trust you! I swear! I just didn't want to endure more pain!" McKenna whimpered, her tearful eyes pleading with her mother's intense blood-orange gaze.

"Well," Stellaria remarked, releasing her grip on McKenna's chin, "I take no pleasure in your suffering, but time is of the essence, and we require unwavering precision when it comes to your abilities. On that note, your other cybernetics will be undergoing upgrades. But, you know I always strive to minimize your discomfort and ensure a swift recovery."

"Of course, mother..." McKenna whimpered as she struggled to maintain a facade of composure.

With a warm smile, Stellaria tenderly caressed McKenna's cheek. "Let's put this little tiff behind us. You're a smart girl, and I trust you realize that my intentions are always guided by what I believe is best for you."

"I do, mother. I apologize for offending you," McKenna replied softly, leaning into her mother's gentle touch.

"I forgive you, my dear. Now, let's proceed," Stellaria said, taking McKenna's hand and guiding her to the medical bay to prepare for the upcoming surgery.

Obediently, she decontaminated herself, underwent the pre-operative testing, and resigned herself to yet another in a long series of medical procedures. What could she have done otherwise? Each time she attempted to assert herself, her mother would effortlessly counter her arguments. Every tear she shed only seemed to elicit further disapproval. Progress seemed futile as for every step forward she took, she found herself stumbling two steps back.

Her existence felt like it was predetermined, with her own identity beyond her control.

Upon waking, she found herself back in her room, her body engulfed in a searing sensation despite the effects of the painkillers she had been given, a recurring postoperative discomfort she had grown accustomed to. She knew that with her mother's advanced technology and her own modified flesh, any visible traces of the surgery would soon fade, but she knew this wouldn’t be her last procedure and the vicious cycle would repeat itself.

Forevermore.

As she glanced to her side, she noticed a vial of pills, her water bottle, and a bouquet of daisies in a crystal vase left by her mother, accompanied by a note expressing her good wishes.

Unable to do much more than endure the agony in her bed, McKenna closed her eyes and wept silently.

McKenna's experience, although extreme, was not unique in the realm of those who endured suffering to win a parent's approval. Years ago, a young boy who once called himself Sonic found himself thrust into the role of the caretaker for his family. Following the loss of his father's position at the Royal Court, they were forced to sell their opulent home and lay off the household staff that accompanied it. At just eleven years old, Sonic found himself responsible for cleaning their much more modest lower class home, preparing meals for himself and his parents, and tending to the needs of the new baby.

On a particularly challenging day, he returned home from the grocery store, pushing the stroller that had once been his own through the doorway with one hand and clutching bags of groceries with the other. The journey had been grueling, as Tara incessantly cried despite his best efforts to soothe her, drawing looks of both pity and annoyance from passersby and leaving Sonic feeling irritated and ashamed.

"Hey mom," Sonic called out to his mother, who lay on the couch staring blankly at the television, wearing the same loungewear she had worn for days, showing little acknowledgment of his presence. "I got Tara to stop crying. I just walked her around the block for a little while once I was done at the store, and she finally got tired and fell asleep. Maybe come with us next time, and I'll show you?"

Unsurprisingly, she remained silent, blinking slowly as she paid scant attention to another news report on the failing economy.

"Let's watch something else," Scourge suggested. "I gotta put this stuff up first."

After stowing away the groceries, he tenderly settled Tara in the bassinet, shushing her gently as she began to fuss, letting out a sigh of relief as he gently coaxed her back to sleep.

"Let's check if that one funny cooking show's on," Sonic enthusiastically suggested, settling down on the couch next to his mother, deftly flicking through the channels. As he scanned for the familiar program, he stole glances from the corner of his eye, hoping for even the slightest reaction from her. His brow furrowed with concern, his focus shifting back to the screen, his thumb rapidly tapping the remote in a desperate quest to find the show that once brought them shared laughter in years past.

For nearly a year now, beginning when his mother discovered she was pregnant again, she had gradually let go of self-care, her smiles, her words, and seemed perpetually fatigued. Following their moving and her subsequently giving birth, her well-being deteriorated further, withdrawing into a state of near-perpetual recline in the living room, seldom rising except for a few essential tasks.

He knew she was sick. While she didn’t cough, vomit, or faint, she had become a mere shell of the mother who loved and held him. It was as though something parasitic lurked within her mind, sapping away the warmth and vitality that once radiated from her. Thus, she was trapped in a shattered state in which she didn’t have the strength to tell her own son she loved him.

His father's absence only compounded the family's struggles. When he was actually present, the only signs of him being in the house were the lingering scent of rum and muffled heated phone conversations about his latest financial misstep in the stock market coming from the master bedroom.

Despite the overwhelming weight of responsibility and the heaviness of his heart, Sonic continued to navigate the challenges of their strained household with a sense of unwavering determination. Each day, he carried the burden of caring for his baby sister and tending to his ailing mother, silently vowing to someday bring back the light in her eyes and hear her express pride and affection once more.

Alas, that day never arrived.

As Scourge sat on the hood of his newly-altered car in the litter-filled alley beside the orphanage, he felt as if he had just awoken from a nap; a long-expired cigarette dangling between his lips. How long had he been lost in this haze of dissociation? More importantly, why was he wasting time ruminating on the past again? It wouldn’t fix anything that happened or change who he was. Shaking off the memories that threatened to pull him deeper, he swapped the spent cigarette for a fresh one and fished his phone from his pocket, eager to blast some music to cleanse his mind of the clutter.

“Can I have one?”

His ears pinned back in irritation as Toxic’s voice sliced through the stillness of the alley.

“If you can get your own,” he sneered, casting her a glance filled with distaste as she peeked out from the front of the building. “Hang on, what’s on your face?”

“Face mask.”

“Where from?” he asked, holding the cigarette between his lips, smoke curling from his mouth with every breath he took.

“Simon.”

“Why’d he get you a mask?” He leaned forward, curiosity piqued as he shifted his weight on the hood. Simon wasn’t exactly known for being charitable, so the fact that she got a gift from him suggested he’d somehow started to warm up to her.

“So I don’t look like my, uhm, wanting picture, and I can go to places without people staring, and it helps me not pick at my cut and make it redder.” She explained, making her way over to him, grunting slightly as she climbed onto the hood beside him.

“Hey, watch the paint, short stack,” he cautioned, swearing under his breath as he offered her a steady hand to help her up, trying to keep the car's paint job intact.

“I drew on it ‘cause Flying got me markers, and we drew on my shirt, and then we drew on my shoes.” She rambled on, proudly pointing to the crude, jagged teeth sketched in white marker and the chaotic splashes of color covering her shirt and shoes.

“Flying gave you markers, huh?” Scourge replied, raising an eyebrow. “Did he sniff them at all?”

“Yeah, so?” she shrugged nonchalantly.

“Oh, that means they’re the permanent kind.” He growled, staring ahead at the setting sun, taking another deep drag of his cigarette. The thought of her potentially ‘decorating’ his beloved jacket with those markers sent a wave of dread through him. “That’s super.”

“Revine had one of those one time,” she continued, “but she kept coughing and told us not to have any.”

“Mhm,” Scourge hummed aloofly, his attention waning.

“We’ll find them, right?” Toxic asked, grabbing his hand, immediately regaining his attention with the sudden, unexpected gesture that almost seemed to resemble… affection.

“Look, we’ll try, ok? No guarantees.” Scourge replied, pulling his hand away to discard his spent cigarette.

Toxic’s hopeful face fell somewhat as he pulled his hand away from hers. She turned her gaze to some graffiti on the wall of the neighboring building. “Revine’s light blue and a big kid hedgehog. Selene and Ren are little just like me, and Selene’s light green. But Ren’s not a hedgehog, he’s a red panda. Ren likes his hat.”

“Okay,” Scourge murmured dismissively, his gaze fixed ahead. Beneath his facade of boredom, he couldn’t stop thinking about what she did. He’d made it clear he expected her to at least mostly behave well, but never in a million years would he have expected her to try and hold his hand. After all, he still had healing wounds on his arms from her biting and scratching him nearly two weeks ago. Even still, he certainly didn’t give her any special treatment that could possibly warrant this.

Right?

Before he could become too lost in thought, his attention was grabbed by the little blue hedgehog sliding off the car with a little grunt and walking in front of him.

“We’re gonna be the king?” she asked, hopping in place eagerly.

“Well, I’m gonna be the king, princess,” Scourge corrected her, a faint wry smile spreading across his face. “But yeah, we’re gonna be royalty. Livin’ in the lap of luxury just like in the movies, kid.”

“Oh,” Toxic replied, her voice fluctuating slightly as she hopped back and forth over a crack in the asphalt. “What’s in a movie?”

“What do you mean?” Scourge asked, raising a brow as he lifted his sunglasses to his forehead.

“What happens in movies?”

“A lot of things can happen. Wait, have you ever watched a movie?” Scourge asked, his eyes widening in disbelief when she shook her head in response. “Shit, imagine that…”

“Can we see movies if we’re, uhm, royally?” She asked, walking closer to him with big, hopeful eyes.

“Well…” Scourge began hesitantly before sighing deeply, “I haven’t seen a movie since before I got locked up, so what the hell? There should be an old drive-in we can sneak into.”

“Are we gonna see a movie now?” Toxic asked with intense excitement, her little blue tail wagging behind her.

“Yeah. Get your butt in the car before I change my mind, kid,” Scourge said, pulling the keys from his jacket and unlocking the vehicle, which Toxic practically flew into with a squeal.

Driving through the bustling city, he glanced over at his sister, whose legs barely dangled over the edge of the passenger seat as she hummed along to a pop song on the radio. Scourge found himself lost in thought, contemplating whether this outing was truly a good idea. While he respected her to a degree and even promised to let her be the princess of Moebius, he was still undeniably annoyed by her. His manners were far from perfect, but she had a knack for picking arguments, talking his ear off, and demanding an endless amount of attention.

Scourge wasn’t above breaking deals with people, especially those he didn’t particularly like. If he put his mind to it, he could send her to live with another family instead of in the castle with him. With enough money and convincing, he could find a decent family for her. For the past couple of days, he’d been wrestling with the idea of living with her. Being only sixteen himself, he didn’t know the first thing about raising a child, let alone one as wild as her.

Toxic might renounce him as her brother for breaking his promise, and he might never see her again. But at least there’d be no uncertainty about her well-being, unlike the years they spent apart. She’d be out of his way, placed with a family instead of being stuck in a shoddy orphanage, receiving care he simply couldn’t provide.

It would be for the best.

He gripped the steering wheel tightly, his knuckles whitening as his jaw clenched with tension. Taking a deep nasal breath, he passed the city limits, the familiar skyline fading into the rearview mirror. For the rest of the ride, he remained silent, focused, until they arrived at the ticket booth shrouded in smoke, a strong acrid scent hanging in the air.

“What movie do you want?” asked the worker, his eyes glazed and unfocused as he leaned on the counter, blinking slowly.

“Any action movie,” Scourge replied, extending his arm out the window, cash in hand, toward the cashier, who took it slowly, peering into the dim interior of Scourge’s car.

“Wait… you look familiar,” the worker said, squinting at him with curiosity.

Shit.

Aside from the fact that he wasn't the only green hedgehog on Moebius, Scourge had been fortunate so far to avoid recognition by sticking to lower-class areas where people were more concerned with daily survival than with political figures. That luck couldn’t run out the night before he reclaimed his throne.

“I was in a soup commercial,” Scourge blurted out, internally berating himself for coming up with such a ridiculous lie afterwards

“What—” Toxic began, her face twisting in puzzlement before Scourge shot her a pointed look that silenced her.

With his jaw agape and his eyes half lidded, the employee’s face slowly broke into a crooked, gap-toothed grin.

“Oh, that’s right! Soup guy! That’s probably how you got that badass car!” he exclaimed, nodding with satisfaction.

“Yeah,” Scourge said, his head reeling back in disbelief that this excuse actually worked. “So, what’s the station for the movie?”

“Uh, 98.7,” the worker replied, glancing at a sheet in front of him. “Enjoy the movie, soup guy.”

“You too, stoned guy…” Scourge muttered under his breath as he navigated the crowded parking lot, eyes scanning for a spot where they could settle in to watch the movie.

“What’s a stone guy?” Toxic inquired.

“A guy who smokes so much weed he thinks I did a soup commercial,” Scourge scoffed, his fingers flipping through radio stations.

“Why did you do a soup commercial?” she asked, her hand fidgeting with the window controls, sliding it up and down.

“That’s not a toy. Quit messing with it,” Scourge chided, gently swatting her hand away from the buttons. “I wasn’t in a soup commercial. I said that so he wouldn’t figure out who I really was.”

“Are you, uhm, wanted?” Toxic probed, her feet wiggling as she admired the skulls Flying had drawn on the tips of her sneakers.

“Something like that,” Scourge replied, turning up the radio’s volume, the audio synced with the giant screen in front of them.

Toxic’s eyes were drawn to the screen, pupils widening with fascination as she caught sight of an advertisement featuring dancing cartoon characters.

“The movie!” she exclaimed, standing on the seat and eagerly tapping her finger against the windshield as she pointed at the screen.

“‘Ey,” Scourge snapped, “Sit down, don’t scuff up the leather.”

Groaning theatrically, she extended her ring finger toward him in defiance before flopping back into the seat, her shoulders slumped in exaggerated annoyance.

With a roll of his eyes, Scourge mimicked her groan and held up his own ring finger toward her in return. “Back at ya,” he said smugly. He then reached into his jacket pocket, pulling out some cash. “I’ll be right back with popcorn, ‘kay? Stay in the car and watch the screen.”

As he approached the snack bar, the enchanting aroma of popcorn mingled with the seemingly recurring, pungent scent of marijuana. Along with two popcorns and a couple of Anarcho-Colas, he received yet another curious look from the cashier.

“Wait, where have I seen you?” the young woman asked, her eyes bloodshot and squinting as she leaned in closer.

“Soup commercial,” Scourge answered, not missing a beat.

“Right! Brody texted us about that!” she exclaimed, grinning widely, struggling to keep her eyes open as she turned to her coworker; who was munching on a hot dog without a bun. “Marley, it’s Soup Guy! Just like Brody was talking about.”

“Man, I love soup!” Marley shouted, raising their half-eaten hot dog in a gesture that resembled a toast toward Scourge.

Honestly, Scourge found himself wanting whatever they were clearly indulging in.

“Same,” he replied with a forced smile, quickly gathering his snacks and hurrying back to the car before the conversation could continue any further.

Toxic was so engrossed in the moving pictures on the screen that even the enticing aroma of popcorn didn’t immediately catch her attention.

“Here,” Scourge said, handing one of the bags to her.

“What didja get me?” Toxic asked, peering into the bag with curiosity.

“You’ve never seen popcorn before?” Scourge replied, his cheek already stuffed with the warm, buttery treat, a hint of amusement flickering in his eyes.

“Nope,” she answered, burying her face in the bag and grabbing a mouthful. Her eyes widened with amazement as she savored the taste.

“Good stuff, right?” Scourge asked, barely hiding a smile as he watched her devour the popcorn with animalistic abandon.

“Yah, ah like ih,” Toxic mumbled through her mouthful, bits of popcorn flying out with each word.

“Don’t spit popcorn all over my car, kid,” Scourge warned, taking a sip of his soda. “Movie’s about to start,” he noted as the previews came to an end. “Be quiet or we leave.”

“Why?” Toxic whispered, her voice filled with curiosity.

“That’s the rule, now shut up and watch,” he whispered, settling back into his seat as the film began.

The movie wasn’t anything spectacular. The acting was mediocre at best, and the plot was half-baked. Under normal circumstances, Scourge would say the only redeeming quality was the presence of the actress he’d had a crush on for years. However, after spending several torturous months in Zone Jail, struggling to avoid beatings, he hadn’t had the luxury to focus on whatever played on the few tiny, grainy television screens available there.

Every single day since escaping, he often had to remind himself he was safe. The bump in the night wasn’t an inmate coming to throw him around the cell like a ragdoll. He no longer had to rush through meals to prevent them from being stolen or having his face shoved in them. He didn’t have to sit on the edge of his seat, ready to flee unwanted attention. Gone were the days of the inhibitor collars, and he was finally ready to reclaim his world.

This was his first movie in a long time, and he was finally safe enough to watch it. That was enough for him to love it.

Watching his little sister giggling with delight during a particularly audacious motorcycle stunt, he was taken aback by how much he didn’t mind her presence at that moment. Her excitement reminded him of a young, once-blue hedgehog he once knew, staying up late to watch his favorite films. The nostalgia was palpable, and her enthusiasm was unexpectedly contagious. To his own surprise, he found himself whispering comments about the movie to her, chuckling at her responses, and engaging in a way he hadn’t anticipated. Not only was she not a burden, but she was genuinely enjoyable to be around.

In the film’s climax, things seemed bleak for the protagonist. Bloody and beaten, he stared down the barrel of his enemy’s gun, with death looming ominously on the horizon.

Toxic furrowed her brows in worry, her voice barely above a whisper as she chewed on the last of her popcorn. “Are they gonna die?”

“Just watch,” Scourge whispered back, a half-grin forming as he correctly anticipated the moment when the hero would rise and take down the enemy with a clever line.

Pumping her fist in the air, Toxic couldn’t contain her excitement. “Yes!”

“Legends like that don’t just die like chumps, kid,” Scourge added, his grin widening at her reaction. “Golden rule of, like, every movie.”

“He’s fucking cool ass!” she exclaimed, a soft, excited giggle escaping her as the credits soon began to roll. She reached for more of her popcorn, only to realize her bag was empty. “Gimme yours,” she demanded, her eyes darting to his unfinished bag.

With a shake of his head, Scourge dug his hand into his popcorn, nonchalantly swatting away Toxic as she desperately clawed for the bag.

“Stop, bitch!” she groaned in protest.

“Nah,” Scourge replied, chewing on a mouthful with a satisfied smirk.

“Yes!” she growled, trying to crawl over him as he pushed his hand against her forehead, leaving her scrambling in place.

“Mmm, this is mine. I love my popcorn.” He teased, savoring the last few pieces before finally releasing her, “Take my bag, short-stack.”

“Cuntsack!” Toxic shot back, slamming her fist on the seat in frustration.

“That doesn’t mean anything, you dip,” Scourge scoffed, amusement dancing in his eyes.

“Yeah, it does!” she argued, crossing her arms defiantly.

“It doesn’t, idiot. Time to go.” He said, shifting the car into gear as the lights of the parking lot flickered around them.

"I wanna see more movies," she said with a defiant pout as he slowly backed their car out of the parking spot, the engine purring to life.

"We're going to the castle tomorrow," he reminded her. "Don't wanna stay out all night and be too tired for that."

"But we can watch movies at the castle with popcorn and soda, right?" she asked, her fingers fiddling with the straps of a face mask she had just pulled from her pocket, her voice carrying a hopeful lilt.

"That and more," he assured her, a smile tugging at his lips. "But first, we gotta work for it. Just like in that movie, we gotta kick some major ass before we get ours on the throne."

"Are we gonna break windows and shoot people like in the movies?" she continued, her green eyes wide with a mix of excitement and innocence.

The green hedgehog chuckled softly, a hint of mischief in his eyes. "Something like that, for sure," he replied to his sister, before groaning as a chime sounded from the dashboard, signaling that the car was running low on gas.

"What is it, Scourge?" Toxic asked, tilting her head with curiosity, her gaze shifting between him and the fuel gauge.

"We need gas. Might as well pick up more cigarettes while we're at it," Scourge grumbled, his eyes scanning the dank, desolate streets as they rolled past, searching for a gas station.

"I want a cigarette," she proclaimed.

"I know. You want everything," he muttered under his breath, steering the car into a dingy gas station and parking by one of the pumps. "Stay here, okay?" he ordered, stepping out of the car.

After filling up the tank, Scourge made his way into the grimy little convenience store. The smell of stale grease and sweat hit him like a wave, and he wrinkled his nose in disgust as he spotted a rat nibbling on a slice of pizza that had been left on display. Shaking his head, he turned toward the counter, ready to ask the cashier for a pack of cigarettes.

Before he could open his mouth, a firm hand clamped down on his shoulder, spinning him around with surprising force.

"I know you, fucker," a cheetah snarled in a low, menacing growl, his clothes adorned with photoluminescent accents that glowed under the dim fluorescent lights, his flashy sunglasses obscuring most of his face but not his fury.

"Yeah, I get that a lot. I was in a soup commercial," Scourge replied with a deadpan expression, showing no fear at the cheetah's aggressive stance.

"Don't fuck with me!" The cheetah roared, baring his fangs just inches from Scourge's face. "You stole my car!"

"I dunno what you're talking about," Scourge sneered, his lips curling into a smug grin.

"Oh, really?" The cheetah chuckled without humor before slamming Scourge back against a wall. "I bet you'll figure it out while you bite the curb."

"At least take me to dinner first, babe," Scourge retorted with a playful wink, his eyes flickering with twisted amusement.

"Wait a minute, Danny," another voice cut in, drawing closer. One of the cheetah's cronies, who had been lurking nearby, stepped forward, peering at Scourge with a look of surprise. "This ain't your average carjacker... shit! This is Scourge, the old king!"

"Well, he ain't king anymore, right? His ass got thrown in jail, I heard," Danny laughed, tightening his grip on Scourge's jacket. "Must not be that powerful if he's hidin' in the shadows and nabbin' cars. Still, how much do you think they'd pay to get him back behind bars?"

"Penny, lock the door," another goon ordered the cashier, who obliged, pulling out a handgun from her back pocket and flicking the safety off with a sinister smile.

Before Scourge could come up with a snarky comeback, the unmistakable click of a phone camera went off somewhere beside him.

It was getting late. He glanced at the clock on the wall. 9:32 PM. They had to wrap this up quickly.

"Yeah, so, that won't do," he muttered before launching into action. With a sudden burst of speed, he delivered a rapid one-two punch to both sides of Danny's face, stunning him and loosening his grip. Seizing the moment, Scourge kicked him hard in the stomach, sending him crashing into a shelf stocked with candy. As Penny fired a shot, Scourge blurred out of the way with his supersonic speed, dodging the bullets effortlessly.

"Get my good side while you're at it," he quipped, appearing beside the person who had taken the photo. Snatching the phone from their grip, he took a quick selfie with a perky grin before slamming the phone down hard against a shelf; the screen shattering on impact. Before they could react, he swiftly snapped their neck, their body crumpling to the floor.

With a flick of his wrist, he hurled the broken phone at Penny, striking her square in the forehead and causing her to drop the gun. Vulnerable and disoriented, she was left wide open for Scourge's next move. In a flash, he closed the distance and stomped down on her skull with a brutal force, her body going limp instantly.

"You fucking—" the last crony screamed in terror, but his cry was cut short as Scourge aimed the now-recovered handgun and fired. The back of the crony's skull burst open in a bloody display, brains splattering against the wall behind him.

"Yeah, that's sweet of you," Scourge said with a gleeful grin, lowering the smoking pistol. His gaze then turned to a dazed Danny. "C'mon, pookie. I saved the best for last."

"Muh... Nuh..." Danny mumbled weakly as Scourge grabbed him by the back of his jacket, kicked the door open, and forced him to press his mouth against the edge of the curb outside. Without a moment's hesitation, Scourge stomped down hard on the back of Danny's head, a sickening crunch echoing through the night as blood and teeth splattered across the concrete.

Scourge couldn't help but laugh. These jokers thought they could take on the hedgehog who once, and soon would again, rule over Moebius. The sheer arrogance of their challenge made the victory even sweeter.

He glanced at the clock again. 9:33 PM.

Lost in the rush of adrenaline, Scourge almost didn't notice Toxic sitting just a few feet away, perched atop a faded truck kiddie ride. Her jaw hung open beneath her mask, her wide eyes filled with a mix of awe and morbid fascination.

"I thought I told ya to stay in the car," Scourge said, slightly exasperated. He was surprised such a dumb kid had figured out how to unlock the door.

"I'm in this car," Toxic countered with a nonchalant shrug.

Scourge clenched his jaw, a sigh escaping his lips as he nodded in reluctant acceptance. His eyes caught sight of a coin near Danny's limp leg.

"Sit tight for a sec," he instructed, slipping the coin into the ride's slot. The kiddie ride sputtered to life, playing a grainy rock and roll tune and jerking with clunky engine sounds.

Stepping over the mess of bodies and debris, Scourge made sure to destroy anything that might have recorded the scene. Afterward, he grabbed a few packs of cigarettes, a beer, and some cash from the register. Before leaving, he noticed a stuffed cheetah toy on display, its big eyes and innocent smile staring back at him. The irony made him chuckle, and he decided to take it with him. Motioning for Toxic to follow, he led her back to the car.

"Why did they fight you?" Toxic asked, hopping alongside him, her eyes wide with curiosity.

"The cheetah guy got mad at me for stealing his car. He and his buddies were gonna get me thrown in jail, so l killed them all," he replied casually, opening the car door.

"Oh," she responded simply, satisfied with his blunt explanation as she climbed in on her side.

"Here," Scourge said, handing her the stuffed cheetah. "That's your reminder not to let anyone mess with you. If someone gives you trouble, show 'em who's boss."

Toxic's eyes widened as she stared at the soft toy in her hands. For a moment, she was speechless. She glanced up at her brother, a mix of surprise and something else-almost like admiration.

It wasn't every day Scourge showed such a gesture. Was it the adrenaline that had him feeling generous? Or perhaps some hidden guilt, knowing she'd soon be placed with another family? Maybe, just maybe, he was warming up to her.

He cranked up the radio to drown out his thoughts, not noticing the way she kept staring at him. Eventually, she broke the silence, her voice tentative. "Do we have the same mama and daddy?"

Scourge's stomach twisted into knots. He knew where this was headed.

"Yep," he replied tersely.

"But where are they at?" she asked, her voice growing softer, more childlike.

Gripping the steering wheel tighter, Scourge's jaw clenched as he tried to find the right words.

"They're dead, Toxic," he finally said, his tone darkening.

Toxic's face fell, her body turning toward him, eyes locked on his. "But how could they, uhm, die?" she asked, her voice trembling.

The air felt sucked from Scourge's lungs. His mind raced for a lie, but nothing came to him. He was trapped in the truth. His palms were sweaty, his grip on the wheel unyielding as he forced himself to continue.

"Dad... h-he..." Scourge stammered, wiping the sweat from his brow, "he was a piece of shit, Toxic. We got in a fight, and he died."

Toxic tensed up, clutching the cheetah tightly in her small hands. "Did you, uhm, have a fight with our mama like you had a fight with daddy?" she asked, her voice small, nearly breaking.

"No!" Scourge barked instantly. "Mom was good! I'd never fight her!" He took a deep, steadying breath, staring out at the blur of passing cars. "Mom... she... took her own life," he added, his voice heavy with regret.

Furrowing her brows in a mix of sadness and disbelief, Toxic shook her head and asked, “but why?”

Scourge's mouth went dry. He'd asked himself that same question for years.

Why had she left him and Toxic behind with that monster? After that day, his life had spiraled down a twisted path he couldn't escape, molding him into the hardened criminal he was now.

Should he have done more to help her?

He felt an odd combination of resentment and guilt, hating himself for being angry at her choice. She had been his only real light for years, even in death.

He didn't know who to blame-his mother, himself, his father, an invisible illness, or even his sister, whose birth might have driven his mother over the edge with postpartum depression.

Years had passed, but deep down, he still felt like that lost, scared twelve-year-old kid he once knew.

"Scourge?" Toxic whimpered, reaching out for his arm, her voice quivering with a need for comfort.

"I don't want to talk about this shit anymore, Toxic!" Scourge snapped, his voice sharp and pained. "Just... shut the fuck up and listen to music or something!" he roared, slamming his fist against the steering wheel with a burst of frustration.

Hugging the stuffed cheetah closer, Toxic remained silent for the rest of the ride, the radio's music filling the tense, uneasy quiet between them.

Back at the orphanage, they were greeted by Flying, who was waiting with a lantern held high, his wide eyes glimmering with excitement.

"There you hedgie-wedgies are!" he exclaimed, dropping to Toxic's height with a playful grin. "Where have ya lid-squid-kids been!? Did you make a new little friend, Toxic little girl? Can I eat him?"

Uncharacteristically quiet, Toxic kept her gaze down, saying nothing as she grabbed a lantern and hurried off to the area where she usually slept.

"Say, what's the big idea?" Flying asked, scratching his head, bewildered by the sudden shift in her demeanor.

"She's tired, and I need a cigarette," Scourge replied coolly, turning on his heel to head back toward his car, only to be stopped by Flying once more.

"Yanno, you two are actin' fishier than a pond-wand-blonde!" Flying said, his head tilted, arms crossed as he studied Scourge from head to toe. "And I'm not talkin' about that pretty blood on your shoes!"

"I'll clean it in a bit, okay? Fuck off," Scourge grumbled, pushing past him and returning to the car's front seat. He lit a cigarette with almost frantic urgency, desperate for the calming burn in his lungs.

His mind raced, teeming with chaos and torment. Every so often, he'd lash out, slamming his fist against the dashboard or the seat beside him, shouting out a random obscenity. By the time he'd made it through nearly an entire pack, exhaustion finally washed over him, pulling him into sleep right there in the car.

The night before the Destructix would storm the castle was full of tension, but not just for them.

After spending the day resting and regaining her strength, McKenna stood in the castle's vast training arena, bracing herself for the tests that awaited. The room was expansive and intimidating, filled with workout equipment, targets, and combat robots designed for practice. Today, her training wasn't just about physical prowess; she was also testing her ability to see an attacker before they appeared, and her skill with different kinds of combative and defensive magic.

All stops had been pulled out tonight. She'd even been given a new outfit: a sleek, bulletproof bodysuit, her boots were designed to silence her footsteps, and her arms and legs were covered in a protective lycra-adjacent fabric. She was dressed in all black, allowing her to blend in with shadows. Strapped to her thigh was a dagger, her only non-magical weapon aside from her fists and feet.

Physically, she was prepared, but her mind was another matter entirely.

While resting earlier, she'd had a strange dream. She was back in the forest that haunted her memories, but someone had intruded and started a fire. The act sparked a fury in her unlike anything she'd ever felt. Who dared to harm her sanctuary? It was her territory, and no one was allowed to defile it. She wanted to hunt down the culprit, to make them pay violently for their audacity.

The raw, unfiltered rage was a new sensation, and it terrified her.

"My dear, you aren't still worried about your dream, are you?" Stellaria's voice broke through her thoughts, drawing her back to the present.

"Mother... I've never felt like this before," McKenna confessed, her face creased with concern. "I don't want to be a monster."

"Why, you are no monster," Stellaria soothed, her voice carrying a maternal calm. "I can tell you with certainty the dream does carry a message. But if you follow it, all will be well. Think of this castle as the forest, and the arsonist as someone who wishes to bring harm to those within. I've equipped you with the tools to protect us, and I know you won't fall short."

The tension in McKenna's face eased, a faint smile spreading across her lips.

"Thank you, Mother. I love you," she said, straightening her posture with renewed confidence.

"I love you too, my dear," Stellaria replied, her hand gently caressing McKenna's cheek as she leaned in close, her smile warm and reassuring. "Be ready."

From a separate room, Stellaria watched her daughter meditate for a moment before speaking into the microphone that fed into the arena's speakers.

"Now, begin."

[mirai-e-jump]

Animage April 2024 Issue Bakuage Sentai Boonboomger Introduction ft. Iuchi Haruhi Interview (translations below)

Publication: March 8, 2024 (between episodes 1-2)

"Receiving the baton from the kings are superheros who drive cars with flair! The new Sentai, with its trademark racing suits, will burst throughout the world!"

Taiya Hando is a "deliverer" who delivers whatever is asked of him. When the Great Space Invasion Running Team Hashiryan appears, along with Ishiro Meita and Mira Shifuto, they change into the Boonboomgers! To protect the people, they challenge the Hashiryan to battle!!

The 48th installment of the Super Sentai series, "Bakuage Sentai Boonboomger," is now airing. This time, it's a Sentai characterized by the fact that all members are professionals in some way. Taiya, a genius in development and modification, drives a car he tuned up himself and works as a deliverer. Each person plays an active role by demonstrating their own skills. Another important point is that the "usual look" is different, with Ishiro being a freelance spy, and Mira working a variety of part time jobs. It'll be interesting to see what kind of chemistry will be created by these members, who all have different personalities, lives, and areas of expertise.

We also wonder what will happen to Jou Akuse and Genba Bureki. How they'll become members of the Boonboomgers, we can only expect an "explosive" drama! _

Taiya Hando: He's an expert in development and modification, and works as a "deliverer". He makes quick decisions, with his motto being to "take the wheel." He enjoys unexpected situations with a positive attitude.

Ishiro Meita: He's an "informant" who's skilled in intelligence gathering. He's a calm and attentive person who always considers the risks. He puts his full trust in Taiya, and lends his support to whatever he decides.

Mira Shifuto: She's a "driver" who's good at driving and maneuvering. After meeting Taiya, she starts to show her inner strength. She's the innocent mood maker of the Boonboomgers.

Jou Akuse: He's a "police man" who's excessively serious and reckless. He's a kind hearted police officer loved by the people of the town, and usually patrols it on his bicycle.

Genba Bureki: He's a "procurer" who procures what he needs from out of nowhere. While soft spoken and kind, he never shows his true feelings.

Bundorio Bunderas: Also known as Boonboom. He's a car shaped alien, who's usually humanoid and human sized, but when the time comes, he transforms into a giant and fights as the Boonboomgers Robo! _

-What I have in common with Taiya is our strong sense of commitment!-

"Please tell us your impressions of Taiya and what you're mindful of when acting."

Iuchi: Compared to the other characters, he seems to have more optimism, so I thought about how I should express that. When it comes to keeping his passionate heart to himself, if I'm too cool, he'll resemble Chasshiro (Ishiro), but if I show it too much, he'll come off as hot blooded, so I was wondering how to find the right balance. For example, regarding the relationship between Taiya and Chasshiro, I looked for references from my favorite anime and other sources to solidify his image.

"What do you think are some similarities between yourself and Taiya, and conversely, what do you not have in common?"

Iuchi: I think we're similar in that we have a strong sense of commitment for what we do, and that we focus on what we love! I always used to be called stubborn. Once I've made up my mind, I can't think about anything else. What we don't have in common is everything else (laughs). I can't develop or modify anything, and I'm pretty indecisive. I feel like I'm the same as Taiya in that I put all my energy into what I like to do.

"What do you think of the visuals when Taiya transforms into BoonRed?"

Iuchi: The other members have also said this, but the impact of the tires being on the face was amazing at first (laughs). However, when I saw them in action, I slowly began to think, "They're super cool!" Not just BoonRed, but seeing all the Boonboomgers actually moving is really cool. During the dub, you can put your personality into your voice, but that being said, if you don't do it well, it'll end up being mismatched. We're getting some great action, so I want to do my best to make the most of it.

"What are your impressions of the mechs, such as the Boonboom Trailer that BoonRed rides in?"

Iuchi: When I first saw it, it brought back memories from my childhood. My father loved foreign cars, and we had alot of model cars displayed in our house. He bought me alot of miniature cars, and I used to play with them by driving them on the carpet with roads drawn on it. So, I felt nostalgic and alittle happy.

"Please tell us what you remember from filming of the first episode."

Iuchi: The first episode focused on Mira, and although she had her own thoughts and feelings, she was being pushed around……as Taiya said, she wasn't able to "take control of her own wheel." The look and feel of the scene where Mira expresses her determination and passion to Taiya left a strong impression on me. Also, the line, "Whatever you ask me to do, I'll deliver it. That's what a deliverer does." I thought it was an important line for Taiya, where the word "deliverer" is used, so I was very enthusiastic about it.

"For scenes involving Taiya, the relationship between him and Ishiro also leaves an impression."

Iuchi: Even before filming, Hayama Yuki-kun, who plays Chasshiro, and I discussed things like, "What's the relationship between the two of them?" and "How should we go about this?" I'd be happy if we're able to give off the feeling that those two are a pair.

"Other than Taiya, which character are you interested in?"

Iuchi: It's Genba! He's very mysterious, and the vibe he and his outfit gives off is kinda different, huh? I still don't know how Taiya and Genba will meet, but I'm looking forward to seeing how Genba's encounter with the other three will balance things out. He seems like a very appealing character.

"Finally, tell us some future highlights."

Iuchi: Episode 2 is about Mira and Chasshiro, and the line, "Boonboomger is connected to my and Boonboom's dreams" is said. These words are connected to the reason why Taiya is gathering these friends, and I think that everyone's pasts will also be depicted from now on. I'd be happy if you pay attention to it.

"Taiya himself also has a mysterious side."

Iuchi: I guess so, there are still alot of things I don't understand (laughs). We'll be gathering more and more friends from now on, so please look forward to it! _

Q: What's your favorite anime/manga?

Iuchi: Due to the influence of my parents, I've always loved manga! We had alot of manga at home, which led me to watch various anime. In particular, my favorite manga is "Fullmetal Alchemist," which I've reread countless times, and have also watched the anime.

[milkyfederation]

Settings challenge, 2nd month: The Moon (1).

The Moon is the capital of Earth.

A city on the surface of our main satellite is the political and economic capital of Federated Earth, since it's easier to access than our home world and its pesky gravity.

Baselu is humanity's most populated city. A closed (but ever-growing) structure with a terraformed environment and artificial gravity.

Home to a an unending variety of people and services, the Baselu Metropolitan Area is the perfect place to do or find anything.

This preschool teacher is showing his very diverse class of kids (including aliens) earthian animals they might not be familiar with.

A businesswoman is on an important call while receiving the coffee she ordered, instead of going down to the café. Her robotic eye is a non-necessary modification, which are frequent on The Moon.

One of the most common sights in Baselu, an endless stream of unique looking people crossing the street.

A bodybuilder going to the gym. His arms are modded with energy veins. Might want to work a bit on your legs too, bud.

An alien expat. She works online but loves living in Baselu, so exotic!

This earthian feels very lost in the skyless labyrinth that is the capital. He's looking for the hospital, where he'll get tests that aren't available on Earth.

It's almost weird to see people with all their natural hair, or skin. This tattooed runner is a more common sight.

A goth weirdo walking their dog back home from one of the city's parks.

Our android friend is making sure he's not late for work.

Baselu is my criticism of artificial capitals (screw Madrid), while also being an ode to the opportunities, diversity and variety of cities.

The city's name comes from "base lunar", abbreviated through time to Baselu. The joke is there's an irrelevant Catalan city called Besalú, and it is hilarious to me for the capital of humanity to be named similarly.

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: Leor Sapir

Published: Feb 14, 2025

On January 28, President Trump signed an executive order titled “Protecting Children from Chemical and Surgical Mutilation.” The order’s most important provision defunds health-care and medical education institutions that engage in or facilitate sex-trait-modification procedures for adolescents 18 or younger. Within a week, at least ten hospitals in states where these procedures are still legal announced that they were changing their practices. The list includes some of the top pediatric gender clinics.

On February 4, the American Civil Liberties Union announced a lawsuit challenging the executive order. Joining the ACLU in the suit are other transgender advocacy groups and two law firms, which together represent two trans-identified 18-year-olds and five trans-identified minors and their families; they also represent PFLAG National, an LGBT organization with nearly 350 chapters nationwide, and the named plaintiffs.

The suit alleges that the executive order exceeds Trump’s Article II powers by directing “public funds to advance the President’s policy preferences, rather than those of Congress.” It argues as well that the EO discriminates based on sex—a claim also made against Tennessee’s ban on pediatric “gender-affirming care,” which the Supreme Court is considering in U.S. v. Skrmetti—and violates plaintiffs’ constitutional rights to equal protection and due process under the Fifth Amendment. Finally, and most surprisingly, it alleges that the order violates Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973, which prohibits discrimination because of disability in federally funded programs. Gender dysphoria, the ACLU claims, is a disability of the kind protected by this law.

On February 13, a federal district court in Baltimore blocked the executive order’s defunding provision from going into effect for a period of 14 days, at which point the court will reassess. The Department of Justice is expected to appeal these injunctions to the Fourth Circuit and, possibly, to the Supreme Court.

The ACLU’s case contains an unusual feature. One of the plaintiffs, Cameron Coe (pseudonym), is a 12-year-old New York–area resident who received a puberty-blocking injection in 2024. Cameron was scheduled for a puberty-blocking implant at NYU Langone the day after the executive order went into effect. Unlike plaintiffs in similar suits, however, Cameron does not identify as a boy or a girl. When Cameron was born, “they [sic] were designated as male. From the age of four, Cameron communicated to their parents that they were neither a boy nor a girl. They began to express their nonbinary identity in the fourth grade.”

The suit never defines the term “nonbinary.” Instead, it lists “nonbinary” as a “gender identity,” which it defines as “a person’s internal sense of belonging to a particular gender.” The complaint does not define “gender,” either, or explain how a “particular gender” can include no “particular gender,” which is presumably the substance of a “nonbinary” identity.

People across time and civilizations have felt that they did not fit into their society’s sex-role expectations. Contemporary therapeutic culture, empowered by novel medical technologies and theories from the postmodern academy, has recast this enduring human experience as an innate “identity” corresponding to a distinct type of human. Girls who once would have been referred to as “tomboys” are now “nonbinary” and part of the “LGBTQIA+ community.”

Nonbinary is the “fastest growing” gender category among adolescents and young adults, according to the U.K.’s Cass Review. As Jean Twenge reports in Generations, according to U.S. Census data, by 2022 more than 3 percent of those born in the 2000s identified as transgender and nearly 5 percent identified as nonbinary, representing a rise of 48 percent and 60 percent, respectively, from 2021. The U.S. Transgender Survey of 2015 found that close to one-third of its nearly 28,000 adult respondents identified as nonbinary, 80 percent of whom were female. By 2022, 38 percent of 92,329 respondents identified that way, with similar female overrepresentation.

The phenomenon of (mostly female) celebrities “coming out” as nonbinary, adopting “they/them” pronouns, and receiving instant media attention has become familiar to many in the West. This would likely be of less public interest if not for the fact that kids who embrace the nonbinary label are being offered irreversible medical interventions on that basis.

In its legal filing against the Trump executive order, the ACLU appeals to medical “guidelines” supported by “[d]ecades of clinical experience and a large body of scientific and medical literature.” The ACLU doesn’t specify which “guidelines” it has in mind, likely because it is referring to the now-discredited World Professional Association for Transgender Health’s “Standards of Care,” Version 8.

SOC8 introduced several innovations on SOC7, among them chapters on “eunuchs” (a “gender identity” that WPATH claims even children can have) and on nonbinary identity. WPATH states that nonbinary identity “first emerged in approximately the late 2000s.” The term

includes people whose genders are comprised of more than one gender identity simultaneously or at different times (e.g., bigender), who do not have a gender identity or have a neutral gender identity (e.g., agender or neutrois), have gender identities that encompass or blend elements of other genders (e.g., polygender, demiboy, demigirl), and/or who have a gender that changes over time (e.g., genderfluid).

WPATH writes that nonbinary “may communicate a specific consciously politicized dimension to a person’s gender” but also that it “functions as a gender identity in its own right.” Rather than explain the tension, WPATH reverts to cliché: “the same identities can have different meanings for different people, and the use of terms can vary over time and by location.”

Further:

A non-linear spectrum indicates differences of gender expression, identity, or needs around gender affirmation between clients [missing word?] should not be compared for the purposes of situating them along a linear spectrum. Additionally, the interpretation of gender expression is subjective and culturally defined, and what may be experienced or viewed as highly feminine by one person may not be viewed as such by another. . . . [Health care providers] benefit from avoiding assumptions about how each client conceptualizes their gender and by being prepared to be led by a given client’s personal understanding of gender as it relates to the client’s gender identity, expression, and any need for medical care.

The expectation, standard in gender medicine, that clinicians be “led by their patients” is never more applicable than when treating individuals whose “gender” and “embodiment goals” have no parallel in nature.

WPATH recommends various procedures to help those who feel neither male nor female align their bodies with their “internal sense of gender.” These include surgeries like “penile-preserving vaginoplasty” and hormone micro-dosing. Unlike male-to-female or female-to-male “transitions,” where the end goal is to resemble the opposite sex, nonbinary medicine lacks defined objectives. It is entirely dependent upon the patient’s subjective, idiosyncratic (or as WPATH puts it, “particularly diverse”) goals.

Nonbinary is both the result and a likely cause of gender medicine’s drift away from a clinical model, which at least pretended to care about evidence-based medicine, toward an autonomy-focused framework that deems cosmetic procedures “medically necessary,” for insurance purposes. The autonomy model discourages “gatekeeping” and insists that physicians’ proper role is to counsel “clients” (“patients” is too stigmatizing) on the technical possibilities and limitations of drugs and surgeries. If a male wants “softening of skin and reduction in facial hair growth” but not “breast growth,” WPATH says, the doctor must explain that estrogen will inevitably result in the latter. If a female patient wants testosterone for “facial hair development,” she should be told that this comes with “genital growth” (i.e., clitoral growth that can result in chronic, painful chafing). Gender surgery centers across the U.S. now offer clients a range of a la carte procedures catered to their individual “embodiment goals.”

If you are wondering what any of this has to do with medicine, you’re not alone.

What of the ACLU’s claim that the Trump executive order negates “[d]ecades of clinical experience and a large body of scientific and medical literature”? According to SOC8, “The most robust longitudinal evidence supporting the benefits of gender-affirming medical and surgical treatments in adolescence” comes from the Dutch studies that launched the field. Considered the “gold standard” of evidence for such treatments, the initial outcomes of the Dutch pseudo-experiment were reported in two papers, published in 2011 and 2014. Lurie Children’s Hospital gender clinician Aron Janssen, who has served as an expert witness in gender-medicine lawsuits, attested in a 2022 Florida hearing that the Dutch data are “the best . . . we have.” 

The Dutch first proposed early intervention as a possible solution to a problem that they observed in their adult patients: “subjective well-being of the transsexuals has increased, whereas an ‘improvement’ in their actual life situation is not always observed.” The Dutch clinicians theorized that their patients’ difficulty passing, a problem they attributed to the irreversible effects of puberty on the body, was a key reason for their psychosocial dysfunction. The problem, in short, was “wrong puberty”—that is, a puberty that a kid doesn’t want—and the solution, for adolescents in these situations, was the administration of puberty-blocking hormones.

Showing at least superficial awareness of the ethical problems involved, the Dutch devised what they thought were strict eligibility criteria. Only adolescents with documented history of gender distress arising in childhood and who had a strong desire to be of the opposite sex were considered. Crucially, what we today call nonbinary was seen as a contraindication—a sign that an adolescent’s sense of self was unstable. Such youths were ineligible for medical intervention. As the Dutch clinicians wrote: “adolescents… whose wish for sex reassignment seems to originate from factors other than a genuine and complete cross-gender identity are served best by psychological interventions” (emphasis added).

The Dutch approach quickly “escaped the lab,” was grafted onto a nascent transgender-rights movement, and became entrenched as the standard of care shorn of its original safeguards in multiple Western countries. Rates of transgender identity and gender dysphoria in youth skyrocketed, partly because “being transgender” was popularly redefined such that it was indistinguishable from regular gender nonconformity or puberty-related angst. Adolescent girls, most with mental-health challenges and no documented history of gender non-conformity in childhood, became the primary demographic identifying as trans and being referred to gender clinics.

Society’s shifting conceptualization of sex and gender coincided with a change in the rationale for early intervention. No longer was it about trying to detect future (mostly male) transsexuals and help them pass. No longer were puberty blockers envisioned as diagnostic tools that would allow patients “time to think.” The goal was now to help “trans kids” who “know who they are” to realize their autonomy and achieve their unique “embodiment goals.” The “child’s sense of reality,” explains the lead author of the American Academy of Pediatrics’s statement on gender medicine, is the “navigational beacon to . . . orient treatment around.” And that sense of “sense of reality” need not be binary. All individuals now had a right to “gender euphoria,” regardless of age, mental-health status, or comfort with the sex binary.

One of the architects of this new way of thinking is UC San Francisco’s Diane Ehrensaft. “[N]othing less than a gender revolution is going on,” the Bay Area child psychologist gleefully declared in her 2016 book, The Gender Creative Child. “Who is leading this revolution? Children who are nimbly pushing the boulders around, creating an ever-shifting terrain as we try to grasp ‘What’s your gender’?”

In a 2017 interview with Tomboy author Lisa Selin Davis, Ehrensaft said that she had “kids as young as four or five” telling her that they are neither boys nor girls but rather “a boy-girl” or “just a rainbow kid.” It “just shakes the foundations of what we think gender is,” she said. “We have a number of gender nonbinary kids coming to the clinic, asking for, for example, a touch of testosterone. They would just like to have a little bit of a deeper voice and a little bit of peach fuzz and then stop the testosterone.”

Yesterday’s tomboy wore baggy clothes and rode skateboards. Today’s nonbinary girl micro-doses on testosterone to grow peach fuzz.

In a 2018 US Professional Association for Transgender Health symposium titled “Outside the Binary—Care for Nonbinary Adolescents and Young Adults,” Johanna Olson-Kennedy, a leading U.S. gender clinician, expressed a similar sentiment. “I don’t like the word ‘pass’ at all,” she explained. “Passing as a member of the other sex is not a criterion for treatment, whereas achievement of personal comfort and well being are.” The role of the physician is “to work with [a] person to determine what it is that they’re interested in.”

The clearest demonstration of how the goalposts have moved came in December 2024, when the lead author of the Dutch studies, Annelou de Vries, coauthored a peer-reviewed article arguing that the field should no longer concern itself with whether “gender-affirming care” is “effective,” or results in mental-health “improvement” (the article places these words in quotation marks). Drawing on the theoretical framework of “trans negativity,” which “critiques” the notion that “negative affect” in trans-identified people is “a problem to be resolved through medical intervention,” de Vries promptly abandoned the clinical reasoning that she had defended so vigorously throughout her career. In this schema, doctors are reduced to highly educated vendors of consumer services.

I asked Laura Edwards-Leeper, the psychologist who helped establish the first pediatric gender clinic in the country at Boston Children’s Hospital, whether her clinic saw kids with nonbinary identities in the early days and, if so, how they treated such patients. “There wasn’t even a term for it back then,” she told me. “All the kids we saw were straightforward binary adolescents”—meaning, they identified as either male or female—“with severe dysphoria, with some indication since childhood.” The nonbinary phenomenon among clinic-referred teens emerged in the late 2010s, she added, “but it was rare. Doctors were very hesitant to do anything medically” with these kids “because they said, ‘there was no research.’”

There are still no long-term studies on the impacts of using hormones this way, not for binary transitions and certainly not for nonbinary ones.

Blocking the puberty of boys like ACLU plaintiff Cameron at Tanner stage 2—the earliest stage of physical puberty—and placing them on estrogen therapy will result in lifelong sterility. They will have undeveloped penises and suffer from sexual dysfunction. Those lucky enough to have passed through Tanner 2 will still be exposed to a range of negative health effects, including cardiovascular disease and cancer.

Gender clinicians like de Vries, who abandon the pretense that they care about evidence-based medicine, appeal to the value of personal choice as the sole ethical consideration. As evidence that their “clients” are choosing autonomously, they argue that regret from pediatric gender transition is vanishingly rare, at less than 1 percent. The main piece of evidence furnished in support of this claim is a deeply flawed “systematic” review published in 2021. Notably, of the more than five thousand of patients documented in the review,only one identified as nonbinary.

Summarizing the findings of her multiyear review of youth gender medicine, Hilary Cass wrote that “This is an area of remarkably weak evidence,” and when it comes to nonbinary-identifying children in particular, “we know even less about the outcomes for this group.”

The ACLU’s decision to include Cameron and his parents in its lawsuit may prove to be a strategic mistake. But this would be on brand for the organization, which has thrown its institutional weight behind the most radical and unpopular campaigns for transgender rights. The ACLU’s star attorney, Chase Strangio, is a controversial figure even within the nonprofit, according to a source with high-level knowledge of LGBT movement politics. Strangio, who has used “they/them” pronouns, once tweeted that “Stopping the circulation of [Abigail Shrier’s] book [Irreversible Damage] and these ideas is 100% a hill I will die on.”

In 2020, Strangio told The New Yorker that she and a group of lawyers had asked trans-identified male inmates whether they wanted to integrate into women’s prisons or have a separate trans section in a male prison. An extremely high percentage of trans-identified male inmates are convicted of sexual crimes, and their placement in women’s prisons puts incarcerated women at risk. The inmates “all said that they wanted a trans unit,” but they were overruled by Strangio and the others. A separate unit, Strangio reportedly believed, would be “stigmatizing, and only served to perpetuate the prison system.”

Like other gender-medicine apologists, Strangio seems willing to say whatever the moment demands. For example, she once said that she “sort of regret[s] the emergence of gender identity as this entire separate thing from sex” and that assumptions about the reality of sex, not only of gender, “are socially, culturally, and politically contingent”—that is, they “take on meaning as we talk about them and interface with systems of power.” Yet when arguing before the Supreme Court in U.S. v. Skrmetti, Strangio accepted that while “gender identity” may be “fluid,” it nevertheless is an “immutable characteristic” deserving of constitutionally protected status because, as she argued, it has “a strong biological basis.”

“I am a civil rights and constitutional lawyer,” Strangio said in a 2019 interview, “who fundamentally doesn’t believe in the Constitution and the legal system.” Rest assured, she will now call upon that system and its Constitution to protect her favorite client, the gender industry.

==

It's amazing how inconsistent the genderists are. The same people claiming sex "discrimination" also say that sex is a "spectrum." They're claiming dysphoria is a disability, having spent a decade insisting you don't even have to have dysphoria to be "trans," that diagnosis is "pathologizing" and "gatekeeping," and any attempt to treat the disability is "conversion therapy."

Make any of this make sense.

I really want them to explain what type of disability it is, though.

It's going to be amazing watching them try to argue this and struggle to make it not obviously ridiculous and self-contradictory.

In 2020, Strangio told The New Yorker that she and a group of lawyers had asked trans-identified male inmates whether they wanted to integrate into women’s prisons or have a separate trans section in a male prison. An extremely high percentage of trans-identified male inmates are convicted of sexual crimes, and their placement in women’s prisons puts incarcerated women at risk. The inmates “all said that they wanted a trans unit,” but they were overruled by Strangio and the others. A separate unit, Strangio reportedly believed, would be “stigmatizing, and only served to perpetuate the prison system.”

Thought I knew where this was going, but I did not. Wow.

[wrxangel]

Keisuke Takahashi befriending a Tsuyome Gyaru Reader

a/n: Whenever I make scenarios in my head with Keisuke, I always imagine him with an energetic, girly s/o (even though I know it's canon that he despises air-headed bimbos but idc!) It'd be cute if a girl who's all bubbly and flashy catches his eye.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆

When he first met you, he was initially annoyed by the way you dressed. He found your bold makeup, flashy nails, and daring fashion a bit much.

He never paid that much attention to girls, preferring to prioritize his racing skills and his challenges within the scene than think about flirting.

But for some reason, he couldn't help but glance towards you whenever he saw your cheetah print clothes and rhinestone belts.

Or maybe it was your annoyingly loud voice that would get his attention, always yapping off to your squabble of bimbos about how sleek and shiny his FD was.

He guessed he could appreciate your taste.

Keisuke began to notice you everywhere; whether it was at races, at car meets, or even at random spots around town. Each time, his annoyance mingled with an unspoken appreciation.

He hated to admit it, but your presence started to become something he looked forward to, even if it was just to roll his eyes at your latest over-the-top outfit.

He couldn’t deny there was something intriguing about the way you carried yourself with such confidence, completely unbothered by the stares you received

One night, you approached him, your usual boldness on full display. "Hey, RedSun, your FD looks amazing tonight," you said with a wink, completely unbothered by his cold stare.

He grunted in response, trying to play it cool.

"Good luck on the race tonight, not like ya need it," you giggled, false lashes fluttering.

"Yeah, thanks." He said gruffly, turning away coldly.

You walked away with a hum, unperturbed by his attitude.

He discreetly watched as the patterns of your clothes moved satisfyingly with your body, as if you were a cheetah yourself.

Keisuke found himself unable to shake the image of you from his mind as he prepped for the race.

As he climbed into his FD, he stole another glance in your direction, catching you laughing with your friends.

Throughout the race, Keisuke pushed his FD to its limits, but your words lingered in his mind, driving him even harder.

After crossing the finish line, victorious as usual, he glanced around, looking for his brother.

Subconsciously, he kept an eye out for your bold makeup-covered face, immediately finding you and making eye contact.

He couldn't help but feel a strange warmth at the proud smile and approving nod you gave him from across the crowd, and he quickly looked away.

One night, while waiting for Takumi to show up for the 86's next race against a local challenger, Keisuke was engrossed in a conversation with his teammate about engine specs when he heard a familiar, bubbly voice cutting through the noise.

It was you, surrounded by your usual squad of friends, your bright cheetah print outfit standing out in the crowd.

You were in the middle of animatedly discussing car modifications with your friends. Keisuke's ears perked up as you rattled off details about turbochargers, suspension systems, and engine tuning with a confidence that made him pause. He tried to ignore it, but your knowledge was hard to dismiss.

He moved closer, casually pretending to look at a nearby car while eavesdropping on your conversation. The way you described the intricacies of tuning a car’s performance was impressive. You mentioned specific brands and models, your eyes lighting up with genuine passion.

It was clear you knew what you were talking about, and Keisuke found himself grudgingly impressed.

Later that evening, as you were heading off with your friends, Keisuke approached you. He tried to keep his tone casual, though there was a hint of curiosity in his voice. “Hey, I heard you talking about car mods earlier. You really know your stuff.”

You looked surprised for a moment, then grinned. “Yeah, I’ve been into tuning my ride for a while now. I guess it’s not something everyone expects from someone like me.”

“Definitely not,” he admitted, trying to sound nonchalant. “But it’s impressive. I didn’t think you were into that side of things."

“Most people don’t,” you hum with a shrug. “But I just started getting into this stuff, like, a few years ago. I've been into racing long before I've been dressing like this.”

Keisuke nodded, a newfound respect in his eyes. “Well, you’ve got a lot more knowledge than I gave you credit for. It’s nice to see someone who’s got both style and substance.”

Over the next few weeks, you and Keisuke kept running into each other at races and meets. Each time, he’d find a reason to ask for your opinion on car stuff. You’d always deliver, your enthusiasm never waning. He couldn’t help but appreciate how you made even the most technical topics interesting.

After a particularly exhilarating race where you had cheered him on from the sidelines, Keisuke caught up with you afterward. He wasn’t his usual cool self; instead, he seemed more relaxed, almost content.

“Hey, you really went all out tonight,” he said, glancing at your latest eye-catching outfit. “I think you might be my lucky charm.”

You hoped he couldn't see it underneath the heavy foundation, but your cheeks blossomed with heat from his words.

"Aww, really? You're making me blush, Takahashi!" You teased, trying to hide how genuinely flustered you felt.

Keisuke smirked at your reaction, clearly enjoying the effect his words had on you. His usual aloof demeanor seemed to crack just a little, revealing a hint of a more genuine smile.

“Don’t get any funny ideas,” he said, though his tone was lighter than usual. “I’m just saying that you’ve got a knack for being where I need you to be.”

You laughed, not missing a beat. “Well, I guess that makes us even then. I’ll keep looking gorgeous if it means you keep racing like a pro.”

He raised an eyebrow, looking at you with a mix of amusement and something warmer. “Fine by me. Just don’t go thinking you can keep me on my toes all the time.”

As you both stood there, the noise of the crowd around you seemed to fade into the background. Keisuke’s gaze lingered on you for a moment longer before he looked away, clearly trying to hide how much he enjoyed your company.

“Well,” you said, looking down at the charms of your long fake nails. “I’d better go check on my friends. See you around, RedSun.”

Keisuke nodded, watching as you walked away with your usual confident stride.

Despite his initial annoyance, he found himself looking forward to your next encounter. There was something undeniably intriguing about you—and he couldn't help but feel like it was starting to get addicting.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡ Thanks for Reading! ˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆

[mistytarot0919]

۩۞۩ Elemental combination ۩۞۩

©mistytarot0919 - all rights reserved. do not copy, translate, alter, or repost my work.

Please REBLOG if you find this information useful! ༄˖°🪐.ೃ࿔*

Same suit

Wands/Wands(fire/fire)

Swords/Swords(air/air)

Cups/Cups(water/water)

Pentacles/Pentacles(earth/earth)

♠ when the suits/elements are the same - “very strong for either good or evil, according to their nature”

♠ such pairs tend to highlight, accentuate, emphasize, and give prominence to the cards represented - their energies are synthesized or synchronized

♠ they may be united in action, however, they don't challenge us ♠ there is little external interference, but also little compromise or ability to adjust

Same polarity

Wands/Swords(fire/air)

Cups/Pentacles(water/earth)

♣ when the suits/elements are both masculine(yang or positive) or feminine(yin or negative) - “moderately strong” because they are “friendly to each other”

♣ such pairs are complementary and compatible - they easily coexist, tending toward compromise, balance, and moderation ♣ they encourage us to seek information and knowledge through communication with, or observation of, the other

♣ success comes through balancing the polarized urges and by integrating their commonalities

Complements

Sword/Cups(air/water)

Wands/Pentacles(fire/earth)

Ψ when the suits and elements complement each other - “somehow friendly”

Ψ these cards are not totally comfortable with each other - they tend toward excessiveness or inhibition, disorganization or friction Ψ both need to control creative power through discrimination( wands+pentacles - give us intensely, sensory desire; swords+cups - can be emotionally willful)

Ψ each tends to receive, stabilize, internalize, secure, or attract the other

Ψ they may also act as corrective and therapeutic forces on each other

Contraries

Wands/Cups(fire/water)

Swords/Pentacles(air/earth)

♦ when the cards are of “contrary elements” - they tend to “weaken each other greatly for good or evil, and neutralize their force”

♦ these cards are incompatible and antagonistic, representing conflicts of interests that can lead to blocks, or suppression ad inhibition of energies

♦ these cards neutralize each other, allowing a third element to operate more independently

♦ at their worst - the elements work at cross-purposes, producing fear or frustration and a sense of crisis; they expose root vulnerabilities and weak points in the other(revealing insecurities, and uncertainty)

♦ each must learn self-reliance and how to maintain internal as well as external boundaries(conscious adjustments and modifications are necessary)

♦ we must be willing to let go of untenable situations since holding on can block the energy that is needed for moving on elsewhere

ʕ•ᴥ•ʔﾉ♡ ʕ•ᴥ•ʔﾉ♡oopsie you already reached the end ʕ•ᴥ•ʔﾉ♡ʕ•ᴥ•ʔﾉ♡

[lmacoursereviews]

Examining Tim Han LMA Course Reviews for Transformative Personal Development

Tim Han’s Life Mastery Achievers (LMA) Course has attracted a lot of attention due to its revolutionary effects on people who want to advance both personally and professionally. In this thorough analysis, we examine the Tim Han LMA Course Reviews and examine how it enables learners to navigate their path to success successfully.

Techniques for Self-Control: The Foundation for Personal Growth

LMA Course is centered on a strong framework for developing self-discipline. This fundamental component is essential for people who want to reach their greatest potential. Han stresses the significance of exploring one’s psychology further in order to uncover latent traits and talents rather than only making superficial changes.

The idea of changing one’s identity is among Han’s most notable recommendations. This entails developing a fresh perspective of one that acts as an engine for achievement and constructive action. People can instill a sense of purpose and determination that are necessary for ongoing growth by changing the way they see themselves.

Han also presents the idea of enforcing severe consequences for breaking promises. This strategy provides a powerful incentive to uphold responsibility and discipline. People are driven to stay on course and pursue their goals with unshakable determination when there are repercussions associated with their behavior.

Changing Who You Are: Accepting Change for Personal Development

In order to evolve personally, Tim Han LMA Course pushes students to rethink who they are and welcome change. People are challenged to let go of limiting beliefs and embrace their actual potential through a series of immersive exercises and introspective reflections.

He stresses the need to embrace a growth mindset that promotes resilience in the face of adversity and ongoing improvement. Through adopting a new outlook and welcoming modifications, individuals can surmount challenges and access novel prospects for accomplishment.

Han also promotes the development of a good self-image that is consistent with one’s objectives and desires. Participants might use self-affirmation to drive themselves towards their goals by visualizing themselves as competent and accomplished people.

Success Insider: A Comprehensive Strategy for Individual Wealth

The thorough approach to personal prosperity used by Tim Han’s LMA Course is highlighted in Success Insider’s assessment. Tim Han Life Mastery Achievers (LMA) Course Review provides a wealth of knowledge covering many facets of life, including goal-setting, attitude development, habit-building, and personal growth, in addition to self-discipline strategies.

Participants receive access to a game-changing success blueprint by combining Tim Han’s tried-and-true techniques for building self-discipline with insights from Success Insider. This collaborative approach gives people the skills and mindset they need to prosper in today’s changing world.

In conclusion

Tim Han LMA Course provides a comprehensive framework for success and personal growth. Through the application of self-control strategies, adaptability to change and integration of Success Insider insights, individuals can set out on a transforming path to reaching their maximum potential.

The Life Mastery Achievers (LMA) Course is a ray of hope for people who want to reach their greatest potential. The course provides a thorough road map for success by emphasizing self-discipline strategies, identity transformations, and holistic approaches to personal prosperity. Through the integration of Success Insider insights and his tried-and-true methodology, participants get the skills and perspective needed to traverse the path towards both personal and professional fulfillment successfully.

People who go on this life-changing adventure are given the ability to accept change, get past setbacks, and fulfill their dreams, which eventually leads to an unmatched success in life.

Source Credit:

https://timhanlmacoursereviews.medium.com/examining-tim-han-lma-course-reviews-for-transformative-personal-development-56a6a172a1f3

[rivetgoth]

Wild learning from your post that apparently there's a not insignificant number of people who think that hormones do things quickly and don't do as much after a few years because like. Regardless of whether you're actively noticing changes doesn't it just feel wrong to not be on it?

Like for me I'm an afab person who was told at 15 that I had too many "boy" hormones and was put on estrogen and progesterone birth control, and for the decade or so between that and starting low dose T last year I just felt wrong and off and bad. Like a low level dysphoria that was so constant I didn't even recognize it until I started taking T and feeling like my body finally feels right.

I'm gender fluid and before starting T regardless of my presentation I always just felt off, like I could never do gender good enough. Now I regularly get gender euphoria, and if my presentation doesn't match how I'm feeling gender wise on a given day I get dysphoric over specific things instead of just generally feeling bad.

Like I'm not currently noticing active changes but even with that I really don't want to stop taking T, because I know how I feel off it and I know how I feel on it and regardless of whether it's doing anything anyone else can see if it's doing something for me (and it very much is) I want to stay on it.

I am excited to move forward in life with the combination of hormones that I'm currently on, and I hope that more people learn that growing old and aging while being on T is not only possible, but something they might actually genuinely want for themselves, the way I want it for me

Yeah honestly, like I gotta just try to assume that people who even conceptualize T as something they’d okay with being off of just… have a totally different experience than me in some ways lol. Going on testosterone was genuinely a necessity for my life to even begin. I don’t feel like I was fully a person before I started T. Everything—and I genuinely mean everything—in my life kickstarted after I began hormone replacement therapy. For the first time ever I was able to fully exist and even thrive.

And of course all the changes are/have been great and I love being able to pass etc but honestly it runs way deeper than that. From the first dose I ever took to current doses that are way more for upkeep than any imminent changes (it’ll be 6 years next week so I’m mostly done seeing anything super noteworthy except more facial hair [please🙏]), just knowing my body’s endocrine system is testosterone dominant provides a sense of relief and correctness in my daily life that I cannot imagine living without… literally. I honestly would still want to be on T if it caused 0 external changes and was purely internal. I feel within my soul that my body was meant to operate as it does on testosterone.

I am a huge proponent for body modification of all types and especially body modification that challenges sex and gender norms so I have nothing but respect for individuals who consciously choose to go on T for a short period of time to receive changes they want in order to appear more androgynous or masculine or just broadly gender nonconforming in appearance, I genuinely think HRT as body modification is awesome, but I also stand by what I said in my post that I think there are some trans folk who basically deny themselves HRT due to influence from transphobic society and internalized/unconscious biases and don't even realize how much happier they'd be if they stayed on it... I can speak from experience that dissociation as a form of dysphoria, while kind of underrepresented in many conversations, can manifest extremely intensely as a refusal to even acknowledge your own misery beyond experiencing a general malaise that could be misinterpreted and misdiagnosed both by oneself and a professional not versed in trans issues with "generalized depression." I know HRT isn't going to be a cure-all for every issue, but I think even now the FTM community can really undersell how much of a difference having the correct endocrine system can be for us.

I guess it kinda ties into what I was saying earlier too about transness as physical and biological reality. I want to clarify that I think “trans people are mentally intersex” or “trans people become intersex” and all that nonsense trying to directly lump non-intersex trans individuals with intersex people is just objectively wrong at best and at worst outright intersexist as it ignores the reality of what being classified as “intersex” as a condition one is born with means and how it impacts those individuals. But I do think that sometimes people posit "intersex" and "trans" as these like... two sides of a spectrum of "sex/gender nonconformity," with intersex being "physically sex/gender nonconforming" and transness being like... "mentally" non conforming? But this isn't right either. To regard transness as purely a "mental" state is absolutely beyond reductive to the genuine experience of inhabiting a transgender body and engaging in the active destruction of the oppressive and artificial binary that is “biological sex.”

But with all that out of the way, congrats on starting T! :-)

[ohwolfling]

Gale and Macha HCs

the people have spoken

Sensual edition (part one?)

That first night together Macha responds to the urgency at first by rushing, with Gale slowing her down. They make out for a solid 15 minutes straight before anyone undresses and Macha is confused by how much she likes this. Once the show is on the road however, Macha takes charge and rides him into oblivion and Gale’s practiced tongue is applied as an answer to her challenging him. Gale is confused by how much he likes having pleasure to make up for.

Macha is very forthcoming and lets him know immediately she’s a squirter sometimes and Gale receives this as, “make her squirt always, got it.” 

Until the matter of the Illithid is settled, it’s Macha who takes most of the physical initiative. Neither of them are shy about suggesting a rendezvous but Macha is so pleased to have her hands on Gale that she grabs him instinctively whenever they kiss or touch or meet for a quickie. Gale learns that he doesn’t mind a hand around his throat, so long as its hers, and for Macha all that manhandling (literally lmao) is as protective as it is demanding. Gale receiving it as its intended makes her fall much harder than she thought possible. 

Once Gale gets comfortable being worshiped and not worshiper, Macha spends a few months pretty regularly giving him a morning beej, making it all about him before his brain is awake enough to be conflicted about it. She challenges herself to make him moan a little louder each time.

Macha has to practice the kind of connection Gale likes with his intimacy. She’s used to prioritizing all the physical, tangible sensations of sex. Gale is the first person to challenge that about her and the first person she wants to meet in that way. Eye contact and sincere affirmations make her feel very shy and vulnerable and sometimes Gale has to sort of… coach her through feeling embarrassed about being that kind of intimate. Luckily, Gale doesn’t require her to connect the same way he does. Once she can accept it from him, he’s more than comfortable with Macha focusing on making him feel how much he means to her. 

When they’re first in Waterdeep together, they have a few days of incredibly indulgent sensual times. Undressing each other slowly, sometimes edging for hours, then going at it until they physically can’t anymore in the next hour, rinse and repeat. They share a favorite moment from this time: Macha riding Gale on the bench on his balcony as the sun rose, straddling him before he had the time to put up any visual shields around the perimeter. Everything was so soft, slow, and all encompassing that Gale couldn’t bring himself to care if any early birds spotted them. Macha will always remember the specific way Gale moaned through his kisses to match her pace and Gale will never forget the way the rising sun painted her auburn hair redder.

There is no need for any permanence of who is more dominant or submissive in their relationship. They’re both open to whatever energy they’re approached with or whatever whim crosses their mind. That being said, Gale becomes more and more interested in teasing and edging Macha and Macha stumbles into really enjoying being a brat. Not something either of them would’ve consciously imagined for the other. 

Macha is obsessed with Gale’s hands. She’ll signal she’s in the mood by taking his hands and kissing along his fingers. Gale is always flattered by this and oh so happy to finger her to completion at nearly any time. 

Gale makes missionary feel transcendent. If he’s looking down at Macha, he’s talking filthy but it’s still poetic as hell. He seems to anticipate exactly when a slight modification to their rutting will make Macha insane. Some of her craziest orgasms are orgasms that yawn on and on before the climax spills back down with Gale on top of her.