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fearhims3lf · 2 years ago

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PARTIES: @rhythmicmeow @fearhims3lf

TIMING: Current

SUMMARY: Leticia and Mateo have a heart to heart, learning a bit more about each other.

WARNINGS: Parental Death (mention)

“Do you have to take off every punk rock song I put on the playlist? Hey!” Mateo grumbled at his post, rubbing his face as he watched Leticia manage the music. “You know, there’s more music out there than Olivia Rodrigo, Taylor Swift, and Sam Smith. Please!” Again with the overplayed pop music, and thus, again with the never ending torture. It was a good thing Mateo found Leticia so cute and easily pranked. Otherwise he would’ve lost his mind the day he started the job.

“Eh, I’ll just change it later I guess.” Mateo leaned back in his chair, balancing it carefully. Sure, Leticia could lock the area to prevent him from changing her playlist, but what she didn’t know was that as long as he had a lockpick or his nighttime abilities, most places were free reign for the clerk. The music station was no different. “The only good thing on there anyway is that Rick Astley fool. It’s always funny to see how people react.”

Humming the song Unholy, Leticia did the dance moves at the same time, quietly and maintaining eye contact, unsure herself if she was doing it because she loved the song, or if she wanted Mateo to deal with it a few moments longer. “I know,” she finally said, leaning against the counter, bobbing her head to the side as if she were thrilled he was so miserable with the playlist she had chosen for the day. She only had so much control before the keys in her pocket were in someone else’s hand and they took over the booth while she was doing something else.

“Wow, absolutely no respect. Not even from you.” Leticia forced a huff, pretending to be deeply offended by the confession. But there was no heat in her voice, if anything, she was lighter than she had been in the previous days. Life might have been kicking her around, but this place was safe. Even with Mateo constantly testing her boundaries — it was familiar. Good, even. “Everyone loves Rick Astley. Don’t pretend you don’t. He’s iconic in every genre. Besides,” Leticia leaned on her fist and looked at the cutout, batting her eyelashes dramatically. “He’s so handsome.”

“I can only respect people with good taste in music.” Which, to be fair, Mateo knew he was extremely biased. Not to mention, he did enjoy some pop music, but no one needed to know that dark secret of his. If left up to him, that’s a secret he’d be taking to his grave.

“You know what?” Mateo grinned, the chair legs planting firmly to the ground with a clap as he leaned forward. He mirrored Leticia’s position, sighing as he mockingly mused along. “He is pretty handsome, but he had one single hit. Don’t hold a candle to what you did, ma.” As much as Mateo bullied Leticia, he did have a fond respect for her. Her talent and mark in music was one of the many reasons he asked for a job at the shop in the first place. Being around a musically inclined person was a bonus to the cover he found.

“I don’t get it, though. You have so much talent, yet you listen to this…” Mateo grimaced, “Noise.” He hopped off of his chair and circled around the counter, seeing a customer struggling with testing out a vinyl. People really needed to learn to not touch the surface of them. With a sigh, he returned to bother Leticia, hearing the final notes of the song. “Thank god. I was getting tired of that shitty ass electric piano.”

Her mouth fell open dramatically, but she didn’t bother challenging him on that fact. Leticia knew that any attempt to defend her taste in music would only dig the hole a little deeper. It was funny how Mateo managed to do that, no matter how much she tried or how highly she thought of herself, he always had something to say that would make her falter. “That’s so mean, what if I cry, Mateo? Hm? What then?” She pushed out her bottom lip dramatically, as if that would do anything.

The compliment was unexpected. The tension in her shoulders dropped and Leticia looked at him with a more fond expression. “Feels like a lifetime ago now,” she admitted, sighing at the realization of how long it truly had been. Just a few months, and she was sure the news had already forgotten her. But Mateo was talking to her like she was still worth something, even when he saw her like this and not the perfect version of her that her manager had curated for the stage. She didn’t quite know how to thank him for that.

Her gaze followed him when he went to help out the customer, and Leticia had to hold in a laugh because, as usual, Mateo had some kind of magic over the customers. His back was turned, but the customer was watching him all the same. They were going to buy that album just because Mateo touched it. “Watch your mouth before I play it again,” she threatened, before rolling her eyes. “You’ve got thirty seconds to pick a song. Otherwise I’m switching it to Taylor Swift.”

Like a little gremlin, Mateo rubbed his greedy hands together and zoomed away to make his decision. He grumbled for a few moments to himself, wasting precious time, but he couldn’t help it. How could Leticia only give a few measly seconds to pick out a song, and only one at that?! Mateo twiddled his fingers a moment longer, typing to find the one song he’d been playing on repeat as of late.

We Are 138 by The Misfits.

“Oh, hell yeah, I’ve made my pick, jefa. You’re gonna love it.” The song came to life on the speakers, the distorted guitar rumbled and Glenn Danzig’s voice chanted through soon after, the chant sending Mateo’s head bobbing. “See, now this is music here. Listen to how the bass is so subtle but makes that guitar pop.” He wished he had guitar or drums with him, or rather, that he was home so no one would see him, but he’d settle for making Leticia fall in love with the song. Playing music for others was a little too intimate, so sharing music was much easier.

“So what do you think?”

Watching from her spot against the counter, Leticia grinned as she watched him wasting precious moments trying to decide. It was a little unfair to put such a short time limit on him, but it added a sense of urgency. One that would keep him from spending the next thirty minutes adding every song that he’d ever wished she played to the playlist.

“I hope you made it a good one.” He would, she knew. For all the times she made fun of him and he made fun of her, he had never suggested a bad song. Leticia sometimes wished he would so she could make fun of him in the same intensity that he gave her. His head started to bob as the first beats started to play and she nodded her head. The build up between the instruments was infectious.

“I think…” Leticia drummed her fingers on the counter to the beat, pretending to think about her answer. “That you made a good choice. But don’t get a big head about it.” It was the kind of song that made her miss performing. A sense of nostalgia, even if it wasn’t a song she had ever played.

Mateo playfully danced in place, jumping and head banging to the beat of the music. He liked being silly, getting lost in the music enough to let it behave as if it controlled his limbs. In a way, it did. Many times, it truly felt like the music moved his heart enough to resemble a beat, matching the tempo of his favorite songs.

Music had that power, the kind that couldn’t be explained. Or maybe it could. Mateo was so new to the world of the supernatural that there was still so much to learn about. All in due time, he supposed. “Man…” Mateo sucked his teeth, Leticia’s comment putting a damper on his rocking out. “Can’t get one if I already got it.” He laughed, leaning on the counter and drumming perfectly along to the chorus.

“You should’ve seen these guys back in the day though. Saw them for the first time in two-thousand when I was still a kid causing trouble.” A smug grin tugged at Mateo’s cheeks, and he couldn’t help but chuckle as he recounted his story with a flair of finger drums. “Lombardo is great and all, but Danzig on the drums? Sick shit. Don’t even get me started on the sick strings.” He air-played an imaginary guitar, ending his little ramble with a lean to the counter. For a moment, Mateo’s locked with Leticia’s, and he had the slightest urge to say a thing or two about playing on a stage, but she was only met with a smile.

Leticia covered her mouth as she laughed and shook her head. “Alright, alright. It is a good choice, okay? You’ve got taste despite hating on mine all of the time.” She moved so that she was sitting on the counter now, kicking her feet out into the mostly empty store. Most days it was like this, a trickle of people coming in and out, and those who did drop in, never cared how either of them acted.

Mateo was drumming his fingers perfectly along with the song and Leticia glanced down at his hand, arching a brow before focusing back on him. She knew a few details about his life, but she had never pried very deeply. She couldn’t claim it was out of respect, though, but more preservation. Figuring if she didn’t look too closely, he wouldn’t question how she ended up in a small town like this after vanishing. “You ever play?” She asked, gesturing to his hands. “You should.”

Tipping her head back she closed her eyes. “Damn, you were really living my dream, huh?” Leticia’s mother had been skittish enough about her going to school, but back in the early 2000s, she had no chance of running out to a concert. “I don’t get how the drums are overlooked, ya know? It’s the foundation of music.” Or at least the genre they were talking about, but Leticia was willing to die on this hill. Though his story was brief, Mateo seemed elated. Leticia kept her eyes on his profile when he looked away. “Who’d you go with?”

You ever play?

It was a question that couldn’t be avoided, not really. With how often Mateo spoke about music and air-played all the instruments he knew. He practically gave himself away tapping at the counter like it was an actual drum set. “Huh?” Mateo played dumb for a second, an attempt at giving himself a moment to think about what he’d say.

No one, not even his family knew about how much he enjoyed playing, but Mateo wondered if it’d be nice to share it with Leticia. She was more than just musically inclined. She was a professional, one that never sold out and held true to her values. Hell, she was even becoming an actual friend. Fuck it, Mateo thought. What was the worst that could happen?

“Actually…” The mare trailed off, worrying his lip and furrowing his brows together. It was the first time his confidence had waned since the two had met, and Mateo hoped Leticia had enough awareness to see that he didn’t want to be poked at for his obvious anxiety. “I play. But it’s personal. You know, hush. After, uh…” Latching onto the Misfits story, Mateo smiled wanly, finally looking at Leticia again. “After seeing Danzig play—listen, my brother and I snuck out to see these fools, and I saved for a drum set after. Then, uh…then, a guitar. And then a bass. Drums and bass are my favorite, though.”

She almost walked it back and pretended not to ask it when Mateo pretended not to hear what she had asked. Leticia knew that music could be personal. But considering how passionately he talked about the music he loved and how he spoke to her about her own music, she felt like it was a natural extension of him. And outside of a few things, Leticia only knew a few details about his life.

Opening her mouth to tell him that he didn’t have to answer, Mateo started first, and Leticia immediately shut her mouth. “It’s okay,” she said after he started with his story. “Not everything is public consumption.” It had been different for her, every part of her life had been splattered across magazines at one point or another, but she understood that desire to not be seen in certain moments. Part of her was quietly jealous of that too.

When he finally looked at her, Leticia offered him a smile. Kicking her legs as he reminisced about his family. “So you snuck out to a concert and then later brought home the loudest instrument in existence?” She teased lightly before she looked out at the shop again. “Dad was really into the guitar. That’s where I started.” Musing, she glanced at the corner of the shop where she had the table dedicated to him tucked away. She eyed Mateo again and leaned closer. “So… I take it you were the trouble maker then? Hm?”

“I never said I took it home, jefa.” With so many people in the Lara family, and such a small house, privacy wasn’t exactly easy. Not to mention how chismoso everyone was. Mateo knew he couldn’t trust his siblings or his cousins to hide such a secret. “I had enough money coming in from working with my dad to pay for a storage unit. The guy let me have it under the table. Sound proofed that baby and snuck out to jam.” A fond smile took shape on Mateo’s face, and his eyes wandered where Leticia’s did.

He never asked too many questions himself, but he knew loss when he saw it. With Leticia having been such a star, Mateo never tried to look into her life, feeling it much too pervasive to do so. She was a person. Her celebrity status didn’t change that, as much as people thought it did. “I know everything ain’t public consumption, but I figure you might as well know a little. Hell, you’re the only person I talk to nowadays. Family is…” Mateo tutted to himself, smile falling, “Too far away, and it ain’t like my instruments talk back. I get home and just…keep busy in silence. Or with music in my headphones.”

With a sigh, Mateo rubbed at the palm of his hand, the tension in his chest growing uncomfortable. It was time for a subject change. Or at least a shift in tone. “Pero, ¿sabes que? Hecho ganas.” He gives effort. He tries. “And maybe I was a troublemaker, but my amá always said my smile could get me out of anything. It did, mostly.” He shrugged, scanning the area to see the customer he helped ready to check out. With the vinyls Mateo picked, of course. Smiling, he rounded the counter and settled the purchase in a matter of seconds, turning his attention back to Leticia. “But what about you? You still play guitar?”

Hearing him talk about his family brought up all the same feelings for Leticia. That same love and appreciation, even if their experiences had been so different. Raising her hands in surrender, Leticia nodded her head. “My bad, my bad.” There was no real heat in her words. “That sounds really dope though.” She had never had that experience of sneaking out or doing anything outside her mother’s perview. She knew everything that Leticia did, no matter how stealthy she thought she was. As an adult, Leticia figured it must have been the hearing of the spirit that helped ruin her teenage nights.

The next part did surprise her. Spending his nights alone? With as comfortable as he was with customers and how forward they were with him, she wouldn’t have guessed. Then again, there had been plenty of times in New York where she could say that she had company but that didn’t make it meaningful. “Should start kicking you out of here earlier so you can hit up some places. I’m not exactly the exciting company that I used to be.”

Leticia dipped her head, trying to look at his face, half expecting some kind of smile to prove his point, but that wasn’t what she got. He left again to help the same customer and she tried to turn her attention back to adding songs. A couple songs from the Sex Pistols. She flashed him a smile when he came back, only for it to slip at the question. “Don’t do much of any kind of playing anymore. That night at karaoke that you heard about was about as close as I got.” It wasn’t a lack of want, it was a fear of people knowing and then seeing her differently. “I miss it though,” she admitted, looking away from him as if the screen was more interesting. “Kinda like cutting off a piece of myself.”

Mateo chuckled softly, looking at his watch briefly. Closing would be in an hour, and then night time would be just around the corner. It wasn’t a feeding night, but still, there wasn’t exactly any place Mateo felt inclined to visit. He could go out, sure, but there’d be no depth, no clinking beer bottles or laughter of the younger generation doing exactly what he used to at their age. All that familiarity was gone, and more than ever, Mateo understood what it meant to feel like he cut off a piece of himself.

“Kick yourself outta here, fam. Think you need to get out more.” There was no underlying flirtation in his words. The moment the two were having didn’t call for that, Mateo knew better than to taint sincerity with misplaced humor, even if it didn’t seem like he did. “You know,” He inhaled deeply, scrubbing his face to push away the faint anxiety building under his skin.

“If you miss it enough, you can come over to my spot. Got plenty of instruments to mess with. Been building some guitars too. Would be nice to have a second set of hands to test ‘em.” Mateo smiled gently, likely the softest Leticia had ever seen him. As if his heart was finally speaking and he wasn’t hiding behind the bravado. “Up to you, though.”

Clicking her tongue, Leticia rolled her eyes. “You’re not supposed to turn my advice back on me, Mateo.” There was no heat in her words, but there was a touch of sadness. After the week she had, she didn’t want to go out and expose herself to more people. It was getting hard, existing around so many people and still feeling like no one knew her. It had been a choice on her part, needing to run and hide, but Mateo provided a relief she didn’t realize she wanted. “Besides, I don’t need more opportunities to embarrass myself.”

But the tone wasn’t lost on Leticia. It wasn’t the same bravado that Mateo usually had, but it was still him, Just… sincere. Her first instinct was to say yes, going over and just enjoying music for a night would be a great way to unwind and just exist as she was once, even if only for a few hours.

Looking at him again, she hesitated. Scared of ruining whatever friendship they had if he got the wrong impression - the last thing she wanted to do was fuck this up. That fear nearly paralyzed her, and she had been silent for far too long before she finally spoke up again. “It would be nice,” Leticia admitted. “Just… I don’t know if I’ll be able to put it down once I start again. And I can’t go back to that life. I can’t…” She sighed, shaking her head. “Man… starting over in a new town is a lot harder than it sounds. Feels like I’m playing pretend somedays.”

The silence pierced through a dead heart, made it feel as if it had any inkling of life. Mateo watched Leticia carefully, brows creasing together with concern. He hadn’t intended on actually caring about anyone in this new town he moved into, but he knew better than most that things like that couldn’t be helped. When hearts met their match, they were drawn together, no matter how hard anyone fought against it.

“Who says you gotta put it down, jefa?” Mateo scoffed, raking his hand over his scalp as he tried to come up with a sentence that was both coherent and sincere. “Now, don’t get the wrong impression, ma, but I think you need to come over more than you think. You’re cute and all, but there’s something more important at my place than me, and that’s a guitar calling your name, begging you to play it.” He breathed, pushing himself away from the counter.

“You’re doing this,” The mare gestured to the shop. “And yeah, that’s different from your big music career with all the lights and the fans and the stage, but you’re still a musician without all that mess.” Mateo stepped closer to Leticia, urging, “Music comes from all sorts of life, not just famous. Who says you gotta go back to performing and doing gigs if you pick up a guitar? It’s your life now, ain’t it? Hecha le ganas, Leti.”

Mateo wasn’t one to give up and let Leticia wallow, and it was just another thing that she needed. She wrinkled her nose and tried to be annoyed rather than feeling like he was cutting into her and revealing the truth of the matter. But it didn’t work. There was no pretending. All the rules she was following now were ones that she had set herself. Maybe another attempt at her to claim control over her life. Even if it hurt herself in the process.

She worried at her lip as he made his case, and for a moment, she felt guilty for pushing back so hard before. Leticia tried to let go of that feeling, knowing that Mateo wouldn’t have wanted her to feel that with all the work he was doing to try and comfort her. She just didn’t want to disappoint him. (Maybe she didn’t have to worry about any of that.) “Alright. You’re right. And I do want to go.”

It was her life now. Leticia had spent so much of it under the thumb of a manager who was more concerned about her image than they had been about anything other aspect of her life, that she felt like she had missed so much of the normal life a twenty-something might have had. “It’s been a long time since I could just enjoy music.” She worked her jaw, the words feeling heavier than they should. Trying to put down the words that had defined her for nearly twelve years was hard. But Mateo’s words helped. “You’re really annoying when you’re right, I hope you know that.”

What sweet words to hear. You’re right. A victorious smile began to paint itself on Mateo’s face, and he patted Leticia’s back, “¡Eso!” With victory All but claimed, the mare checked the clock once more and then took a moment to scan the store. The end of the day was usually dead, and there was less than an hour before official closing. What was the worst that could happen if they shut down a little early? Not like there would be a vinyl emergency.

“So we’re gonna close up shop and head over on my bike, right? Nothing like the wind hitting right smack in the face to get the blood flowin’, right?” Mateo chuckled, already grabbing his belongings as if he was the owner of the shop. “Come on, jefa. Got a mahogany beauty with the best resonation you’ve ever heard. The sound is full.”

“Hey, don’t let it get to your head,” she tried to scold, but he was already in the middle of his victory lap. Grabbing his things and getting ready. Leticia, after a moment of silent protest, got up and grabbed her jacket. It was early for the shop to close, but well, she was the owner, who was going to reprimand them for locking the doors less than an hour before closing?

“Jefa, you say, while bossing me around,” Leticia commented, bumping his arm when she walked by him, twirling the keys in her hand. The playlist for the station was set to repeat, barring any power outages, everything would be fine. “I know, I know. You don’t have to sell it anymore, Mateo, I’m going. Now hurry up before I change my mind and just lock you in here.”

#wickedswriting #writings #nightmarescapes #parental death tw #leticia and mateo #change of pace

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