#terrible jokes

[charliepunningstar]

Adam was robbed once in Hell. They took all of his Lute. - 🌈

[sjbattleangel]

(Sorry I had to shorten some quotes)

From: Anna Karenina-Leo Tolstoy A Tale Of Two Cities-Charles Dickens Moby Dick-Herman Melville Pride & Prejudice-Jane Austen War Of The Worlds-H.G. Wells The Iliad-Homer The Great Gatsby-F. Scott Fritzgerald The Adventures Of Tom Sawyer-Mark Twain The Adventures Of Huckleberry Finn-Mark Twain The Divine Comedy-Dante Alighieri Romeo & Juliet-William Shakespeare My Immortal-Tara Gilesbie

[notanotherzerofan]

...So, people make jokes about Zero straight-up going feral and goblin mode and all that, but like, what about Axl? Like, he literally came from a vigilante group and I highly doubt they acted like civilized gentlemen behind closed doors.

You can't tell me he doesn't have his own gremlin moments.

Anyway, comic came about after trying to think up fast food and snack slogans for... reasons. I was reminded of Cheetohs' tag line "Dangerouly Cheesy."

The rest wrote itself.

Oh, and if you don't like my casual versions of the characters, oh well, sorry to disappoint. ¯_(ツ)_/¯

Oh, and bonus under the cut. :)

Axl: Rat Boy? I resent that.

[neonleonsmessymindpalace]

I ABSOLUTELY love jokes that are so TERRIBLE that they ironically become funny -

Why couldn't the man find his map?

Because he LOST the map.

I laughed so hard.

At 3 am.

((o(^∇^)o))

[clawsofakiller]

I was rereading Sabretooth (2022) and every time I watch this my heart aches. The context here is Sabretooth was dying, and his body led his mind into a sanctuary where he can hide when his body does the job of healing, however the shelter itself is a scene of desolation with no one in here bc there's nobody Sabretooth can trust. Yet there was one thing. One single creature that was once alive and vivid, now just a cold dead body. The little songbird and the blood stained big gun represents Victor's long lost assistant Birdy, in the 90s he sought for telepathical help to control his killing urge so he kidnapped her to be his therapist and due to his morbid nature a toxic relationship was formed between the two. He needed her so bad emotionally and mentally, you can even tell he was very fond of her, but his mind is too twisted he had no idea how to show his affection appropriately I guess he doesn't even know he had any feelings for her. Eventually Birdy was killed by his own son because he wanted his father to suffer, Victor seemed indifferent to her death before him but this event became one of his major trauma. When he lost his memory and personality, he smiled at her holographic projection, later he was frightened by the fact that he caused her death; On the last panel he looks so painful when he sees just the metaphor of her death.

My point is, the writing here is a subtle and humane expression of strong feelings. The deserted sanctuary, the dead bird and Victor's pain, the scenario isn't hardcore or gorey at all but it gives out more information. Those ingredients combined and tell us what is like inside Sabretooth's heart, it proves he's not just a bloodlusted mass murderer/irredeemable Wolverine simp with only one single brain cell, he is also a person that aches and bleeds aaaaand has his own story and life experience. But I don't see similar expression in Sabretooth War. In THAT comics he is like "Murder! Wolverine, bemoan! BTW I'm the boss!" Even Bhaal's spawn does less murder than him a day, and it wasn't even for murder itself, it was for pissing Logan off. It shouldn't be doubted if one of Wolverine's friend fears to become gay more than become dead and torn he would have Pretty Boy to suck his friend's ding-a-ling. Sorry Pretty Boy. Anyway it's hard to believe Victor LaValle actually takes part in writing of Sabretooth War, what I could recall he's a brilliant writer that focuses on character exploration and eliciting controversial political thinking, I really like his Sabretooth and Sabretooth & The Exiles. They're gorey and explicit, yes, but all of the blood and guts stand for something meaningful. None of the series sells this simple Wolverine torture porn stuff. What happened to him?

[historynerdj2]

History memes #34

[squirrellypoo]

Happy Christmas! Please enjoy the two(!!) terrible vampire jokes we got in our crackers this morning!

"What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?"

Frostbite

"What do vampires sing on New Year's Eve?"

Auld Fang Syne

[illuminopseudonymous]

[enbycrip]

The most cutting-edge paleoanthropological research suggests that there was very significant diversity within the Homo genus.

In fact, they weren’t very homogenous at all.

*ba dum dum tish*

[once-upon-a-time-a-crow]

*Single Ladies plays*

Friends: *put hands up* 🤚 Person of the rainbow variety: *doesnt* Friends: omg you’re not single???!!!!

🌈 : no. I’m not a lady.

😎

[charliepunningstar]

Vox tried to take up racing once. He only made i̷t̸ one lap. It was a real short circuit. - 🌈

[mattsmemes]

[notanotherzerofan]

Oh, wow! I haven't posted anything since last year!

(I told you it was likely I was going to use that joke again.)

XII wishing you a Happy New Year yet again. :)

Oh, and me too! :P

[emyryld]

Romy day 3, Flirting

"Chere, feel my shirt. "

"Remy, i don't have my gloves..."

"It's fine, look, i have mine on." Remy took her hand and placed it on his chest over his heart.

"Now, know what it's made of? ...BOYFRIEND material, chere. " She couldn't help the inane giggle escaping, her cheeks flushing.

"That's awful, "she said, still smiling. They continued to grin at each other, caught in the moment.

[neonleonsmessymindpalace]

Tell me MORE PUNSSSSSS

…I need them for…something ;)

Ayyyyye, of course 💅🏾

This time: puns about the colour blue 💙

Cuz we're all blue loving peeps, mkay?

What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.

What’s blue & smells like red paint? Blue paint. (Not really a pun but c'mon, it's so bad it's funny)

What do you call a sad cup of coffee? A depresso-presso with a touch of blue!

What is a colour’s favourite part of a show? The blue-pers

What did the ocean say to the beach? "I blue my chance with you!"

Why did the computer turn blue? It left its Windows open and got cold.

Why did the artist only use blue paint? Because he wanted to make a blue-ty call.

What is blue & not heavy? Light blue. (Again, I'M CRYING)

And, my personal favourite when I'm very depressi ~

Feelin’ blue-tiful from head to toe.✨️

[ask-pentious]

Why don't snakes drink coffee?

It makes them Viperactive!

That was my best attempt to make you laugh...

Did it work?

[Pentious laughs]

My dear that wasss delightful! Quite the pun, reminds me of Charlie's jokes. She told me this one once: What do you call a snake with legs?

A ran-aconda.-🎩🐍