#cheeky bastard bro...

[lalalychee-x]

SAMPO D!CK PROFILE ft. headcannons

♡ The person who requested this was so silly and cute mannnn!! They also requested for another character; I AM DOING IT, I PROMISE!! So here's your request teehee and I hope you continue to love my profile!! We know those comments that pop out hex codes about character's cock? Yeah, well, I'm going to do that too, but it's this cheeky bastard, Sampo!!

♡ BASICS:

girth: #daa89b body: #c38c75 tip: #ad7765 size: 7inch - 7.5inch texture: few veins in a mauve colour, bit wrinkly since foreskin foreskin: yes

SAMPO! 's dick is probably his most treasured possession after his silver tongue and devilish charm... and he treats his dick exactly like it! Definitely trims since he's vain and cocky (pun intended) not to. Probably a runway pointing to the goods LOL but he wouldn't be against shaving smooth either. “Wouldn’t want anything getting in your way, gorgeous~”

SAMPO! would definitely be uncut just because he has that unbothered Euro slut energy, like he'd make it a part of the experience just to tease you, pulling it back and making honestly embarrassingly funny jokes about it.

SAMPO! 's dick is on a curve, definitely, he's a G-spot seeker. Man is an ARCHER and would go to great lengths to hit your orgasm like a bullseye...

SAMPO! is a cheeky bastard bro, and a dirty talk genius in bed. Definitely comfortable with being a switch, praising degrading on whatever you feel like doing because under his initial demanour, he's just absolutely pussy-whipped for you.

SAMPO! The previous point being said, he would definitely love to spoil you with the most random trinkets but they're always the most thoughtful things. A necklace with a jewel that reminds him of your eyes, or a pair of earrings with your birthstone. Judging on this man's fashion sense, I feel like he would have a collection of cunty-looking belts and he would get one for you to wear as he fucks you. Just the belt, like ONLY the belt.

SAMPO! Expanding on that, his favourite position is definitely cowgirl, then probably reverse cowgirl! He'd make you wear that belt as you sit there on him. Because this man is filthy and likes to see you flush against him because physical touch is his love language anyway. So when you're in a position where he has full liberty to trace his hands all over you while bouncing on his cock? He loves that.

SAMPO! is really REALLYYYY vocal, in whatever way you want him to be whether that's whining for and begging for you, or treating you like an absolute whore. He's definitely an oral guy too (both giving and recieving) and will moan LOUDLY during it because he wants you to know how good you're making him feel!!

SAMPO! is the sweetest during aftercare, even if he riles you the hell up. Taking in his theif-nature and all, he notices the little things, and what would comfort you the most. Would be taking the piss until you're half asleep; then would whisper sweet nothings until you're completely asleep.

SAMPO! 's balls... um... balls are too funny to write about LMAO, IDK HOW I PROMISE...

Feel free to ask for other characters!

♡ Please do not modify, steal, plagarise or post on other platforms without asking. Thank you! masterlist click here

[dyingnerdyprude]

they are baiting they are teasing.

[sdmnpact]

Crush.

Joe Weller x Reader ff

[] bestfriend!wroetoshaw, good friends with the sidemen.

~~~

"Woah- what are you doing!!???" Harry said coming up behind you causing you to jump and hide your phone. "What! Nothing. Go away!" You said playfully as he sat next to you on the couch. Harry, your best friend and roommate had came out of his room just to bother you of course.

"I saw what you were looking at." He smirked as you still held your phone screen down. "I have no clue what you're talking about." You reponded acting posh. "Oh come on! You were basically drooling over here! You were looking through Joe's instagram again!" He said followed by that breathy laugh he always does.

"Prove it!" You said smirking at him. In one swift movement, he pushed you back towards the couch making you lose grasp of your phone. He took it in his hands and stood over you. "Okay well thats just not fair." You huffed sitting back up as he laughed.

"Lets see, oh weller shirtless, weller at the beach, weller shirtless... again. Damn does he just not wear shirts?" Harry said scrolling through Joe's pictures. You swiped your phone back quickly as Harry looked at you with a smirk on his face. "Oh you are so smitten!!" He teased poking your cheek lightly. "No im not shut up!" You said feeling your face get hot.

"Im gonna tell Joe!" He said quickly before running off towards the bathroom. "Oi Harry, you better fucking not!" You warned through the now shut bathroom door. "I cant hear you!" He screamed as you heard the water turn on. "Ill come in there!" You yelled back turning the knob. Locked. That bastard. You rolled your eyes in annoyance.

Its not like he was going to text Weller right now. No- knowing Harry, he was going to make a whole deal about it tomorrow. You planned on going to the sidemen shoot with him tomorrow. No reason of course just to support all your friends is all, but Joe Weller being a guest does help a bit. Of course now, you were dreading it knowing Harry was going to slip it in somehow that you fancied Joe.

You were all grown ups of course, but even grown ups need help in relationships and Harry knows that if he doesnt act now, you'll never know what could happen between you and Joe. Someone you fancied for quite a while now. Maybe it'll be fine, or maybe you'll make a fool of yourself. Either way, it'll be a great time, you hope.

>>>

"Come on!" You said rushing Harry, as he was taking forever walking up the stairs to the building. "Y/n, my legs are giving out right now, i think i slept wrong." He groaned as you rolled you eyes. "Okay well im leaving." You said picking up your pace.

His expression turned excited. "To see Joe!!" He cooed stopping you in your tracks. "Harry- dont!"

"You think I forgot huh? My friend Joe and I will definitely have a nice little chat about how you fancy him before the end of the day." He said getting a boost in his step, walking past you. You watched as he walked into the building, you were deciding if you should just leave now to save yourself from embarrassment.

"Oi oi, Y/n! How you doing?" Josh said coming up behind you giving you a little side hug. "Terrible. Harry is gonna ruin my life." You huffed as the two of you walked into the building.

"Oh? How?" He said, you were about to answer when the door opened.

"Hey Zerkaa!" The familiar cheerful voice said coming over towards you two. You looked towards , seeing the one and only, Joe Weller.

"Oh, is this the lovely Y/n that ive heard so much about?" He said bro hugging Josh and grabbing your hand, shaking it lightly. You felt the blood rush to your cheeks, you hoped it wasnt too noticable but judging by the cheeky look on Josh's face you could tell it was.

"Hey Joe! Nice to finally meet you!" You said maybe a bit too excited. You felt a tug at your shirt and looked towards Josh, noticing you were almost on top of Joe. You were too excited to meet him that you almost bounced towards him with every word. He laughed lightly noticing you pull yourself back.

"Well should we get this show on the road then?" Josh said clapping his hands together making you both follow him towards the main room. You walked in, greeted by multiple cameras, camera people, props, you know the general sidemen studio stuff. You saw Harry walked towards you with the biggest grin on his face. You shook your head at him and mouthed 'dont fucking dare.'

"Hey Weller! How are you mate!? You wanna go grab a snack with me." Harry said placing an arm around Joe leading him towards the food. "You're so screwed." Josh snickered as he walked away leaving you alone trying to grapple with the fact that it was gonna be a long day.

>>>

You watched the boys film their video for side+ with Joe. It was very funny and you enjoyed watching them film live but the only thing you could focus on the whole time, was Joe. He is so goofy yet so sweet. He had some tender moments with Harry that made you fall even harder for him. Even though you wanted something with him, you didn't want it to happened through Harry as a wingman. He knows the most embarrassing things about you and would easily spill. You know he would tell you that Joe will find it charming but that's just ridiculous.

As they finished filming, you saw Joe and Harry laughing about something. Harry looked towards you multiple times making you feel self conscious. You thought maybe he told Joe all about you, even the not so good things. You walked over towards Josh for some reassurance.

"So, what are they talking about?" You asked pointing towards the pair as they were in hysterics about something.

"Harry told them about the time you peed yourself when you were drunk." You eyes went wide and your face turned bright red. No way, he told him that story!

"I'm just kidding- you're so worried. The more you worry, the more Harry is gonna torture you, you know that right?" He said with a laugh.

"He's so annoying."

"Well, you chose that as your best friend. Could have been me but noooo." He said pointing at Harry, then walking away.

You saw Harry leave towards the restroom and decided to go up to Joe and see what he had heard about you. He was standing there scrolling on his phone when you walked up.

"Hey again." You said quietly. "Oh Hey!! Man, does Harry love talking about you!" He said with a lot of enthusiasm. "Only good things, I hope!" You smiled, hoping it was true.

"Yeah of course, you guys have some great times. One of the things he told me was that you actually fancy me..." He revealed, your face burning hot. You were actually going to kill Harry for this.

"What? Me? No. You know what- there's actually two Y/n's and he must have been talking about her." You said trying to play it off, failing in doing so.

"Oh come on- he told me all about it." He said with a cheeky grin. You felt youself melt at the sight.

"Okay well, maybe I do feel some type of way over you but that's not here nor there and you know you probably don't feel the same way-"

"What's going on here?" Harry said coming back. He knows you begin rambling when you're nervous.

"You told Joe that I liked him!" You said sternly, slightly slapping his arm. "Um, Y/n, no I didn't" He said genuinely looking shocked. Your eyes went wide. 'But wait how did Joe know then?' You thought to yourself.

"I overheard your conversation with Harry earlier." He said noticing the confuse expression on your face. "But you weren't even around then?"

"Well, I saw you guys talking so I backed up and went up to you when you were with Josh." So he was eavesdropping then. You found it kind of adorable but were upset that you outed yourself to him now like a babbling idiot.

"So what do you say then?" Joe said suddenly.

"About what?" Harry said interjecting himself.

"Well, I want to know if Y/n wanted to grab lunch with me, as a first date maybe?" He said looking at you with hopeful eyes. You smiled brightly towards him.

"Id love to!" You said cheerfully. "You said we were gonna get nandos after this..." Harry whined like a baby. You rolled your eyes. "I'll bring you something later." You said as he nodded walking away leaving you two alone.

"Shall we?" Joe said in a fake posh accent extending his hand. "Lets!" You responded grabbing his hand as he led you towards his car.

>>>

Things went better than you expected. You honestly thought you were gonna make a fool of yourself in front of this man but he is just so easy to talk to. You felt so comfortable with him. You two had gone to a nearby restaurant and spent basically the rest of the day just getting to know each other. You two talked about anything and everything.

You didn't want the day to end but after spending so many hours at the restaurant you felt like you needed to leave. You two got back in his car and he drove you towards your flat. Once you finally arrived, he walked you all the way up to your door.

"So, that was really nice." He said getting slightly nervous. "Yeah, it was a great time." You responded. You noticed him looking at your lips and in a swift movement, you grabbed his arm planting your lips on his. As ridiculous as it sounds, you actually felt butterflies in your stomach. His soft lips moved against yours like they were made for each other. It was getting more heated by the second as your hands made their way towards Joe's hair, tugging at it lightly when you heard the door open.

"Guys, if you wanna fuck please come inside. We're civilized people." Harry said as you two quickly pulled apart. You looked at Harry in annoyance as he smirked. "Here take your food." You said holding out the to-go bag. He happily took it and went to the kitchen. You rolled you eyes at him and turned back to Joe.

"Sorry about that." You awkwardly laughed as he just stared at you with a cute grin.

"We should definitely do this again sometime. Maybe Friday?" He said. You smiled and nodded.

"Definitely."

~~~

A/n

I've realized after reading this again that I really played into the being bestfriends with Harry part so it's lacking the Joe dating part 😭 I'll write a better one soon. I still hope you liked it!

[zxmbiie-luv]

what do you think about a cnc thing with hermes + (originally) low sex drive reader? with hermes drugging reader beforehand to make them a lot more insatiable, and then pretending to be busy/not have time for them/deny them before ‘giving in’ and fucking them silly? i think it would be really hot if that was a thing,, bc i just know he’d be as desperate as reader to fuck but he holds back a bit to deny them. :3 love your writing and no pressure as always to write my requests !!

- 🛩️

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Drink up, Buttercup! ੈ✩‧₊˚

Hermes (Hades I-II) x reader

Containing: drugging, sub reader, CNC, the nickname!!!1!1, not proofread (fuck it we ball), bro did not pull out ngl

Summary — a simple drink. That's what it was supposed to be! And it would be, hadn't the cheeky bastard used his tricks.

a/n — AAAAAAAAAA this shits delicious excuse me,,,, Also no worries!! I luv writing stuff and definitely don't mind And I've got your last stuff in my drafts dw pooks

The second he catched a glimpse of Aphrodite's bottled magic, a devious idea brewed in his mind. As his trickster mind did, never allowing him rest, it seems.

Well, ok, bottled magic was too underestimating. Aphrodite's power could not be bottled so simply, it wasn't a measley thing to measure. But appearantly, she'd use such to answer and comply at any prayer and offering in turn of winning one's favour.

She'd have a variety, and as Hermes had passed by her chambers, he'd catch a glimpse of a hot pink mixed with red shimmer just swishing on about in that little long glass confinement that was the bottle. So that became the plan. Swiftly walk by Aphrodite's chambers when she wasn't around, grab the bottle, and make a run for it.

And that, he did. Honestly, he didn't know why, it's like he acted on impulse— shaking the bottle to see it glow on the movement and see the glitter roam on. He had to stop, however, because the thing looked like it was about to explode at any moment. And then it clicked him.

Why don't you have a taste?

He kinda wanted to see you worked up over him, without him doing anything. Of course, he could work his hand just right for you to start tugging at his chiton to hurry, please, take it off— But he wanted you to put your hands on him alone, for a change. So, he got a bottle of Ambrosia and the essence, and mixed it in.

A drop should've been enough. He wanted for it to last at least the whole day— to get a vision of what it was like for you to want him like he was the center of your mind, clouding your senses.

Well, good luck, he accidentally dropped more than half the bottle. Hermes watched on with shock as the essence merged one with the Ambrosia, creating a beautiful eye-piercing pink drink, with a golden hue and bubbles starting to form. He hoped that was just it turning to a sparkling drink and not, what mortals called, radioactive.

He swore he didn't mean to do that! He just wanted to put a drop! Okay, so, this was about to last you the whole week (in which, he probably didn't mind), and Aphrodite was going to kill him for wasting her power. Great.

But whatever, what could he do? Hermes closed the bottle with the new brew he had apparently done, and the other one with the one that belonged to the great goddess, and packed both in his messenger bag put. What couldn't be seen, couldn't be caught, right? That was his whole life, at this point.

You looked on at the drink in wonder as you held it in hand, Hermes subtly watching your every move in inner anxious. What if this actually harmed you? What if you got mad after finding out? What if-?

"Thank you, Hermes. You didn't have to. I'm sure it'll taste just as delightful as you." You thanked with a smile, walking up to him to rest your hands on his shoulders and kiss his cheek tenderly as he smiled back at you and placed his hands on your waist.

"No need buttering me up, bunny. I'd give you wayyy more if you'd let me, but it's really no trouble at all." He chuckled, giving you a kiss on your lips— something so simple that never failed to take his breath away— and sadly departed from your touch to leave and resume his work.

As he only was a blur to be seen, you opened the bottle carefully to finally get a taste. It was a pretty bottle, you might clean it out once you're done. With a curious sniff to catch its scent, it immediately filled your chest with warmth and made you loosen up. Hermes really knew how to pick stuff out, then. Pouring it down your throat, the feeling intensified, now making you feel hotter and more active. Was this alcohol that you accidentally downed? Couldn't be, it didn't smell like it. You'd have to ask Hermes when he came back.

You were in for a ride, and you didn't even know it.

You were— just, how to explain this feeling? You were swallowing your saliva like the whole sea was in your mouth, it felt unbelievably hot like you wanted to rip your clothes off, and every single thing about him triggered that.

It's like he looked extra divine doing nothing, glancing back at you as a smile formed on his lips and he teased, "Staring problem, much?"

Every touch, even the most simple one, was nearly pushing you over the edge. Every laugh, or flick of his wings, or subtle flex of muscle doing the things he usually does, drove you crazy.

And the problem? He wasn't giving you what you need. Which was a total change to him.

It's been a few days, he'd have you let anybody, wherever you were, know he was making you feel the best. Now? Work, work, work.

"Hermesss... Please.." You whined out to him, hands tracing everywhere, a hopeless attempt to get him as riled up as you were, get it through his thick skull— "Bunny, not so impatient. You know I'm a busy man, I'll get to you soon."

He might've seemed calm and composed, but inside, he was a mess. Especially to your touch, fuck. He knew he was doing this to get you all hot and bothered, but seriously, he was about to burst. And it was fairly evident thanks to the raging tent that man was sporting, and looking down on it, it made your mouth both water and your eyebrows furrow in annoyance.

"Oh, so, is my state amusing to you?" You scowled, gripping him tighter, and Hermes tries his hardest not to make a face, not to let out a sound.

"Very. However, I must decline once more. I do hope you understand." He flashed you a smirk, pecking your lips with a kiss before turning his attention back to his assigned work Zeus had given him, one wing on his head stretching as you had started to rhythmically tap your finger on the surface of his desk in frustration.

Suddenly, you squirmed in front of him, and before he could say anything, you crashed your lips after his in reckless abandon. As your hand went behind his head and interlocked with his hair, his composure was beginning to slip away, soon matching the hunger in your pace as you licked up the taste on his tongue and your eyes turning half-lidded.

Hermes put his work away, somewhere, he didn't care, as you found yourself sat on his desk and soon laying beneath him, his ever-skillful hands lower and lower... At this point, blood was rushing everywhere, it was a feeling you had never experienced before, like you were on a rollercoaster and having three orgasms denied at the same time.

He broke the kiss, only to go lower and leave open mouthed kisses on your neck as he spoke in between them. "Bunny, did you need me that bad? So sorry, baby, gonna take care of you real good."

You could only nod in return, couldn't be able to say anything else as you heard clothes fumbling and his hands going underneath yours. He didn't even try to sugarcoat it as he slipped two fingers in you so effortlessly, earning a gasp out of you as his fingers curled and pushed in and out of you.

"H-Hermes..!", you hushed out as his tempo got faster, feeling him smile at your tone and the marks he was creating on your skin and removing his digits out of you. Before you could protest, they swiftly got replaced with his dick, catching you off guard and making you let out out a moan as you threw your head back.

He groaned, biting his lip before chuckling at your expression, kissing the base of your throat. He started moving, adoring you wholeheartedly... Your face, your sounds, your hole— It almost felt like you were too good for him. His grip on your hips was almost bruising, pulling you tighter towards him like he couldn't get enough. And he couldn't, honestly.

To anchor yourself, even a little bit, one hand moved to his shoulder while the other on the edge of the desk. A gasp escaped you as he picked up pace, and you could see Hermes also as affected as you were, hiding his face in the crook of your neck to at least quiet down the moans he so embarrassingly let out.

"Hermes, I'm gonna... I'm gonna cum.." You whined out, hands moving from their previous positions to his back, that was gripping so hard, your nails were leaving red angry trails. "It's alright, bunny, gonna cum too.. Fuck, please, cum with me.." He nodded, wings tucked tightly against his head as you came, him following not far after.

Thrusting tightly against you out of instinct, he emptied himself inside you before the both finally got the chance to catch your breath, Hermes' wings relaxing as he slowly lifted himself off of you. You released your grip on him, your breath hitching at the feeling of him pulling out, leaning down to kiss your abdomen and looking up at you with hazed eyes and mumbling, "I love you.".

You saw his cheeks flush at listening to you say it back, which earned a laughter out of you and ruffling his hair. It's amazing how he could fuck you stupid, yet get so flustered at the smallest things. Your laughter was cut short as his mouth enveloped between your legs.

So, Hermes' experiment got its answer solved. And now, whenever he'd catch you taking sips from that same drink, he'd grin and muse with a raised eyebrow,

".. You do know what's in that, right?"

He never stopped giving it for you to drink, though.

this is rightfully my work, @zxmbiie-luv

Do not steal, translate, repost ect

Reblogs and likes welcome!!

[vivi-nica]

My Favorite C-Drama Characters

My favorite c-drama characters includes:

Ning Chuxi & Xiao Xinghang 💅🏽(Money is Coming); total boss couple; I love how they support & appreciate each other's dark sides. #smooth af #green flags #best c-drama ever

Xu Qi'an 🌟 (Guardians of the Dafeng), lovable, goofy genius w/ puppy energy; absolutely loved it when he went on a violent revenge spree in the end (totally understandable tho) #pure fucking comedy #best male lead imho

Xiangyun & Chukong 💞 (Love You Seven Times) sweet, wholesome couple; absolute cuties #why must you torture me like this #this is why older brothers suck

Li Bing 😺 (White Cat Legend), our fave cat boi #just our ml & his motley crew of silly men #shit got dark really fast #the ending had me crying

And my faves from shows that I'm not done watching:

Tantai Jin 🖤 (TTEOTM); perfect, did nothing wrong & deserved much better #fine as hell ngl #nah that ain't love that's stockholm syndrome, Sir

Wei Wuxian 💋 (The Untamed); absolute genius gremlin #I'd break the rules too if I went to gusu

Orchid & Dongfang Qingcang 🤣 (Love Between Fairy & Devil), the way that oblivious fairy annoys tortures the (comically helpless) Demon King™ from day 1 got me cackling #man was struggling lol

Wang Yue 😈 (The Journey of Chong Zi); all he had to do for 20+ episodes/years was sit & watch the immortal bigots fuck shit up for themselves. I loved his shameless way of saying "I'm a good man". Not that he was wrong, but he wasn't totally right either. For a shitty series, I really enjoyed this sneaky pot stirrer & his snidey diva of a girlfriend. #cheeky bastard #he had a point tho #this hot mf was kinda the only thing that lured me in to watch (& keep watching) this clown-ass show

Li Tongguang 🧨 (Journey to Love), obsessive pathetic hot mess w/ mental issues #devoted puppy #pathetic yearner #bro needs therapy #his obsession for his cold-ass master had me questioning his mental health & tastes in women

Zhu Yan, Zhou Yichen, Ying Lei, Bai Jiu, Pei Siheng & Li Lun (Fangs of Fortune): #of course 99% of them had to die #WHY CAN'T WE HAVE NICE THINGS

Zhu Yan 🐒 suicidal gremlin, cheeky badass & sassy fashionista. With a... scantly clad... evil inner demon that he must... resist or something (Jekyll & Hyde vibes). He definitely did a great job cuz I'd not be able to resist after 1 minute even with all that was at stake (forgive me, i am but a simple girl) #my man need therapy #tf was his crazy inner demon on

Zhou Yichen 🗡️ pouty traumatized tsundere/baby; he's already lost so much - DID MY CUTIE-PIE HAVE TO SUFFER MORE?!? #his jealous moments had me snickering #his younger self was so freakin' adorable

Pei Siheng 🧿 precious softie; he just wanted big sis to be happy *sobs* #best lil bro #he never deserved to die, & not thrice at that #deep-voiced ethereal beauty

Bai Jiu ⚕️ petty kid w/ LUNGS; Zhou's biggest fanboy #yapper #certified lil brother #dude HAD to snub everybody but Zhou #the plot twist near the end tho...

Ying Lei ⛰️ warm-hearted sweetheart; I loved his antics w/ Bai Jiu! #silly cinnamon roll w/ no rizz #the fuck was up with that beard in the start #glowup

Li Lun 🚨 very possessive/jealous (but redeemable) villain; like damn holy shit he didn't need to threaten his ex-boyfriend Zhu Yan w/ the lives of his friends #wild-ass mf #kinda red flag but we don't talk about it ;) #tf were his clothes at for 50% of the show😳#he technically married zhu yan #so how bad was the divorce to drive him to such lengths of... yearning🤣

[itsa-me-lily]

So I wrote this during my lunch hour in a haze of fruit and inspiration. Thank you @kitsur for reading this over for me to check the ending and in general for hearing me go on my crazed cork board rants some days (most days)

This is a sequel to “That’s My Purse” and I really really encourage you to read part one because it sets all of this up. And maybe read this if the bed comment is confusing. Also thank you @nightunite for the original ask that lead to all this.

Here is the Simon & Thimble playlist

Here is the MPS AU masterlist

Content warning; cheating (kind of. It’s more non monogamy I guess and it’s very debatable if it’s even ethical because I really don’t think Simon would explain his arrangement to a stranger), fatphobia, misogyny, “bro language”

Alright, he could admit it. You weren’t the worst person to be married to. Though you were certainly in the running for most annoying. Always had some smart comment to say, acting like it was an Olympic sport you were aiming for gold in. Sometimes Simon just wanted to eat his beans on toast in god damn peace. Was that too much to ask for?

So yeah you seemed to always run your mouth with him, but sometimes you did say things that made logical sense.

He didn’t care about the whole demi-whatever thing you had explained to him, even if it sparked some sort of recognition in the back of his brain. You didn’t want to have sex with him, so he didn’t want to have sex with you, simple enough. And he could appreciate that you didn’t want the entire base to know he was being cuckholded, however willingly. Though he didn’t really care what people around him thought.

But he’d give what he got. The few times he did find someone that held some interest to him, in some after mission bar, he at least made sure there wasn’t a surface level connection to the base, or you. He’d go back to their place and then act like he had just gotten back from the mission when he went home the next morning. It didn’t seem to bother you and he’d figure you’d appreciate the extra night in the bed and not the pull out.

The first time he tried though, Price nearly put him on his ass. Pulling him to the alley outside the pub and shoving him against a wall, demanding to know if Simon was the kind of man to ignore his vows just to get his dick wet. Trying to explain your agreement with Price went phenomenally awful, and the captain wouldn’t look at him different until all three of you sat down and you confirmed that you were indeed okay with it.

And then of course it had to happen all over again with the other two chuckleheads he worked with. By the time you were having your third sit down with Soap you’d just handed him some informational pamphlet you cooked up. Always had to be cheeky you did. He didn’t think they really understood, but as long as they didn’t look at him like he was a scummy bastard he didn’t care.

So every now and again he’d find someone to follow back to theirs, just to blow off some steam, get rid of the twitch that lived under his skin. The sex was okay. Nothing to write home about. It got the job done.

It was what Simon was planning to do tonight. There was already some bird leaning against the bar, giving him the stare as she nibbled on the end of her drink straw. Plump little thing. But before he could get up to start his advance, voices behind him broke out in the loud drunk way young twenty-something men did when they had too much liquid courage.

“Listen man, pussy is pussy even in the dark”

“Yeah but you got some balls to go after Riley’s wife.”

That stopped him, keeping him glued to his seat. What’s this about you? Judging how Soap’s bottle paused at his lips though, Simon wasn’t the only one to hear it.

“Yeah well she found your balls lacking bro.”

There was mocking laughter from the table behind him. At least Simon wasn’t the only one catching casualties from your mouth. He was going to let it go, maybe just see who they were to keep in mind, when the ring leader decided to seal his fate.

“Yeah yeah. Fat cow’s acting all tough now but she’ll be begging for it sooner or later.”

No Simon didn’t notice how his grip tightened around his beer, tight enough that his fingertips turned white.

“Dude you think?”

No one in the vicinity heard how Simon’s chair scrapped violently against the ground as he stood up.

“There’s no way Riley is fucking that. Even with back shots she’s-”

No one at the other table expected Simon Riley to appear out of thin air, heavy hand coming down with a crushing force onto the man stupid enough to slander your name. Pearson. Of course it was. Jackass who thought he was god’s gift to everyone because Daddy had a bit of money and some girls let him stick it in once.

Yes, you had to have the last word all the fucking time. You had too much shit, and he honestly thought you were a little too obsessed with your guinea pigs.

But you always met him head on. Was so unapologetically yourself, laughing so loudly at terrible jokes even he got startled now and again. You respected who he was, how he was. Like hell he was going to let some personification of a left ballsack talk about you like that.

“She’s my wife”

[phoenix-gone-dark]

Oops? ¯\_ (ᵕ—ᴗ—)_/¯

I’m surprised that you don’t have a whole line of people begging for that voucher, though

You get one bullet and one free kiss voucher, who are you giving each to?

I’m shooting Shepherd. It’s on sight.

I don’t Know who I’d kiss actually. Don’t have many candidates who want somethin like that from me.

[conceptofjoy]

You mentioned Gamzee Strider-isms, I wonder if you have specific thoughts on how he'd interact with each Strider?

it depends on which of three different gamzees we're talking abt i guess. the gamzee on alternia, or pre/post retcon gamzee. im assuming u mean pre retcon gamzee since the mindset he had i was talking abt earlier just continued to flourish in that timeline.

so dave, still doesnt take gamzee seriously at the end of the 3 year voyage. classic dave.

um.

do u have something else you would like to say dave? perhaps about the puppet he's carrying? or not its chill. can i get you a glass of water or something..?

i've said my thing about gamzee's opinion on dave earlier, so moving on.

gamzee prolly knows who the fuck dirk is from the puppet. mf didnt stand a CHANCE. shook him upside down and his sodas tumbled out of his sylladex and left cooly its just sad. its the difference of someone idolizing masculinity/patriarchal values without it being forced upon him by society and someone who is literally carrying lil cal on his back. SO hosed.

gamzee would try to initiate a pissing contest with bro and lose. difference between being a kid who just realized he was "blessed" by these structures and this fucked up man who had cal his whole life. then he'd sulk and watch bro from afar while kinda admiring him. he's a cheeky bastard so he'd continue to try and one up him carefully though lol.

[sirenlulls]

baby i'm yours → g. gallagher

pairing —gene gallagher x albarn!reader

summary —where gene’s a bit of a cheeky bastard & you post a new podcast episode

baby, i'm yours, and i'll be yours until two and two makes three

♡ liked by lennongallagher, damonalbarn, and 66,987 others

genegallagher bitz n bobz

user blud was def giggling to himself choosing the second pic

↳ user "they're gonna think im so cool for this"

↳ user "everyone's gonna be so jealous I'm sleeping with the it girl of the millenium" WELL I AM JEALOUS. IM SEETHING WITH JEALOUSY. IM GREEN WITH ENVY. THANK YOU MR GALLAGHER. I HOPE UR HAPPY.

user step up the game bro not enough y/n

↳ genegallagher I'll work on it

yourusername hihihihihihihihihi

yourusername hello

yourusername hey *in a really cool n suave n sexy voice*

↳ genegallagher Hello

↳ yourusername ur pretty cute icl 🤭

↳ genegallagher You're not too bad yourself xx

yourusername just scraped my knee falling for u

↳ genegallagher There's plasters in the bathroom press

↳ yourusername let me flirt with you ballache bastard

↳ genegallagher I've never felt so romanced 😍😍

yourusername guys don't be fooled, he had no idea how to use the camera!!! he's a caveman!!!!

↳ genegallagher Smh this defamation is heartbreaking.

↳ yourusername awe the baby :(

user mum and dad

user my pants drop every time i see them

↳ user ur so me

ruby1kid Such angels xx Must meet up again soon!! Love you both 😘😘❤️❤️💋💋

↳ genegallagher Love you too xx

↳ yourusername definitely!! missing our chats xx

♡ liked by lizzymcalpine, stellajones, and 86,799 others

yourusername look the lover to the beach (plus a hidden gem of moody chops junior + senior)

liamgallagher Who are you calling moody chops?

↳ yourusername no one special 😇

↳ user oh no the gallagher cheek is getting to her

genegallagher Don’t appreciate this.

↳ yourusername poor thing :(

genegallagher You look okay I guess…….

↳ yourusername sleep on the couch xoxo

genegallagher Think those shells are still in my coat pocket

↳ yourusername forgot you picked them up tbh 😭

↳ genegallagher Kinda had to since you kept going on about how pretty they were 😔🙄

↳ user only relationship ever

gracieabrams ilyilyilyilyily

gracieabrams hi wife

↳ yourusername hi loverrrrr

bobbyskeetz beach.

↳ yourusername beach!

↳ bobbyskeetz beach?

↳ genegallagher beach

↳ user gene is soooo sick of this shit lmao i eat it up all the time

user mother is mothering so hard y’all

user im in love w you

user i wont u so bad

user nepotism done right i’m on my knees fr

graciebrns AHHHHBHBABABABABHAAAA

↳ user grace is so me

graciebrns i love u sososo bad

↳ yourusername I LOVE YOU MORE PRETTYYYYY

♡ liked by lennongallagher, izzy_richmond, and 86,799 others

genegallagher Got dragged to the beach and got some of the best views

yourusername omg romance?? i didn’t know it did that 😱😱

↳ genegallagher Won’t happen again xx

yourusername iloveu

↳ genegallagher I love you too

yourusername you’re so sappy

↳ genegallagher If it’s such a problem I can stop

↳ yourusername NO ITS CUTE

user the last pic 🤭🤭🤭

user praying damon skips this post because he doesn’t deserve to be traumatised at the last slide

user “some of the best views” gene can u kys i deserve this life

user genes getting too bold im half expecting to see tits on the tl soon

↳ user don’t give him ideas

ruby1kid Stunning!!! ❤️❤️ Hope you’re having the best time, lovies!! 🥰🥰🥰

↳ yourusername we’re having a ball! can’t wait to see you next week xx

↳ ruby1kid I expect to see all the photos (even the bad ones) 🤣🤣🤣🤣

↳ yourusername oh especially the bad ones 😝

↳ genegallagher I don’t like this

genegallagher just updated their instagram story!

yourusername just updated their instagram story!

[theyungihven]

Truth Or Dare ⁉️ ⁕ Hongjoong

HALLOWEEN EVENT

☆ pairing: hongjoong as Dracula x Human? Reader

☆ genre: mystery, fantasy, horror,

☆ warnings: mentions of blood, sacrifice, vampires and ghosts

☆ word count: 2.1k+

☆ synopsis : You and your friends dare to spend a night at the infamous Dracula's Castle but things go astray as one by one everyone goes missing and you come across the man rumoured to be Dracula.

“You gotta do this!” You hear your friends yell or more like discuss something in the secret hideout. 

The hideout is an abandoned laboratory where you sometimes work on illegal stuff. The discussions take place every day here where everyone in your friend group (it's just 2 people) gather to share about the current news (conspiracy theories) and rumours they heard around the town while you are busy building your prototype.

“Bro, I don't wanna die too early. First, fucking global warming, now this shit? Nah I'm out!” Claire shouts as she bangs the old lunch table discarded in the room. Well that's Claire, one of you two friends, being herself. You smile at her humour which strangely manages to entertain you.

“But they offered a reward of 250 grand, if we spend a night there and return alive.” You listen keenly to Kevin who explains the plan before you to decide to jump into their conversation. He's obviously got a strategy if he's pitching the idea, doesn't he? He has to!

“Alive? The fuck is going on there?” Claire yells  in terror as it laces her body manifesting itself in her tone which shivers and shrieks.

“Rumour says, it's Dracula, who was sleeping till last month in the villa.” Kevin whispers loudly as if he intended you to hear on their spill the tea session.

“Which shithead woke him up, for fuckssake?” Claire huffs and pushes back her chair. You hear the screeching of the rusty metal and make a note to check their safety because you don't want anyone to break their bones from falling off that thing.

“Someone from med school. They're missing apparently.” Kevin slurs his sentence as if he's making things up or masking up the important details. Cheeky little Bastard who's always up to something. Probably some anatomy geek must have gotten all curious to see Dracula in the flesh and fainted in there or lost his way.

“And now, we're going there to feed him?" Claire shrieks, whose voice sounds like a scared five year old upon seeing a clown which she is to be honest.

“No, obviously! To show whoever is hiding in there, that they cannot hide for long.” Kevin's sentence catches your attention and you think whether to join them or wait and hear more. Of course, you choose the latter.

“So... we're going to expose them?”Claire asks excitedly as if in hopes of going on a ghost hunting mission. They are her time passing activities and the ghost files is her favourite show. “What if it's a cannibal or serial killer?”

“Can you speak positively for once, Claire?” Kevin shrugs, shaking his head in disappointment.

“Sorry.” Claire says softly and the conversation stills, creating an awkward silence in the room. 

You finally decide to interrupt as you pull your chair to their table and make yourself comfortable on it. “So, what's the plan?” You say, chewing the strawberry flavoured gum and reading the expressions on their faces.

“See who finally decided to pay attention?” Kevin mocks you and you roll your eyes at his statement. 

“Does the area have connectivity? Comms? Anything?” You ask him, because he certainly has some information on this if he's even mentioning the topic but he has a tendency to hide things till after the disaster is done.

“Nope everything's dead. There's a strong magnetic field apparently…” He trails on his words, again and clicks his tongue.

“What in the Stranger Things?” Claire wonders with her mouth hanging open. 

“Shut up Claire! You’re watching too much science fiction.” Kevin yells at her, sending a stern glare at Claire who turns her head down with a frown on her lips.

“We gotta do it the pirate way.” you suggest calmly, leaning back on the chair and folding your arms.

“Pirates?” Claire asks, raising her eyebrow and leaning forward with enthusiasm.

“I forgot you had pirate blood for a minute.” adds Kevin and Claire acknowledges the fact with ahh. 

“So, if we don't have comms, drones and walkies aren't gonna work. We gotta get flares and some type of marker to make a path for entry and exits.” You say looking at the table and your friends exchange looks.

“A blueprint of the place!” Claire exclaims as if she has figured out the answers to one of the world's unsolvable riddles.

“It's not your fucking aunts house!” Kevin says loudly, giving Claire the ‘I'll murder you’ eyes.

“Yeah he's right. But the villa is not that big to get lost.” You mumble, moving forward and setting your arms on the table. 

“How do you know that?” Kevin gives you the sceptical look as if you're a notorious criminal with disgusting crimes.

“It was once our family property, that was a long time tho. Some feud happened and we lost it.” You confess and their faces have the funniest expression you've ever seen. Confused, surprised and wtf?

“You have a map?” Kevin yells in your ear and you retort meters away, squeezing your eyes close  due to the pain.

“Kinda, it's a tracing, rather than a map.” you say, rubbing your ear and a flicker of hope lights up on Kevin's face. 

“Atleast, we have something.” Claire mumbles as she shares a smile.

“Be at my house at 7, we'll discuss stuff there. That's it for now.”

***

“Listen, the Manor has two exits.” You explain, spreading out the old one dimensional tracing of the Manor and its illustrations.

“Didn't you say it was a villa?” Claire says, setting her hands on her waist as she stares at the floor plan.

“Can we kick her out?” Kevin suggests and the idea doesn't sound bad considering her level headed ass. 

“It's dangerously close to Yes, but what if I get bored? We'll need her.” You trail, spreading out the second floor plan of the Manor.

“Fair. So, Claire, just shut your mouth and listen. No speaking over someone.” Kevin says and shushes Claire who pouts, giving him the puppy eyes.

“Okay so the first exit is at the front, obviously for the people and the second is at the back for the goods.” You say with your finger tracing the main gate of the Manor and then the back gate. 

“Ohhhhhh!” Claire coos, and Kevin giggles at her reaction while he gets ready to smack her on head.

“Yeah. Shut your mouth before a fly lands in there. Anyways, moving on!” You say, thinking about your next sentence and Claire slaps her hand to her mouth. 

“Are we dividing up and going from two exits?” Kevin asks, and you look up at him, eyes diverting themselves from the map and landing on his face.

“Yes, you read my mind. You two will go from the front door to distract whatever is in there and I'll go with someone else from the back.”

“Is this someone else, late to the meeting?”

“Hey there!” A voice says and it is followed by the garage door smashing open with a thud, “Sorry I had soccer practice.” Yunho, your arch nemesis on friendly terms, says and shares an awkward smile.

“This is my neighbour, yunho.” You introduce him and drag him by his arm to make his tall ass body stand next to yours.

“Hello, very nice to meet you.” He waves at your friends with a bright smile and Claire gives him heart eyes at which you cringe. 

“You both are polar opposites!” Kevin comments and you feel heating rising on your cheeks.

“We get that a lot!” You and Yunho say at the same time only to meet each other's eyes the next second and shy away. 

“What did I miss?” Yunho says after clearing his throat as he glances in your direction. His golden blond hair falls over eyes and you observe the way his gaze flickers from your face and back to map.

“Whatever I said to you, last night.” You say, finding something to stare at besides his brooding figure.

“Okay then, I'm saved I guess!” Yunho says as he nervously chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck.

“The next phase of the plan is when I signal you, we move to the first floor. The highest is the second floor which has a library in the attic.” You say and it excites something in Yunho judging by the creepy smirk on his lips.

“Attics scare me!” Claire says, her voice shrieking with fear of the darkness.

“What doesn't scare you Claire?” Kevin says in a monotone as he turns his head in her direction.

“Him!” Claire points in Yunho's direction at which you can't help but sigh.

“Flirt somewhere else, lovebirds. We got shit to do.” You roll your eyes then go back to thinking about what to say next.

“How are you going to communicate?” Yunho asks, giving you his starry puppy eyes and you can't help but gulp nervously. What is he even trying to do?

“Well, I have a perfect device for that.” You say, distracting yourself from the tall and beautiful blonde beside you with a bright ass smile.

“Where?” Claire asks as if she's looking for something and fails to find it.

“Our friendship bracelets. They work with a higher bandwidth of 7GHz.” You say, pointing at the bracelet on Claire's wrist.

“7g WiFi?” Claire exclaims and you hear an audible sigh from Kevin, at which Yunho giggles and earns a glare.

“Yeah kinda like that.....i guess.” you mumble under your breath.

“Yunho doesn't have one, though?” Someone asks while your mind pulls you in a trance and you start to zone out.

“He does.” You say, almost mumbles as you start to slip into the fever dream.

“He DOES?”  They yell. 

AT THE MANOR

“You know what to do. On the signal, disperse. It's two taps, distinct and repeating 3 times. If anything goes down, the distress signal is continuous tapping. Light the flare ONLY if its a fucking emergency, and if we need to abort the mission.” You yell as low as possible while they listen to you attentively. 

“Yes sir!” Everyone shouts, tightening the strap of their backpack of supplies.

“Remember to mark your way up to the second floor. People get lost there.” You say and everyone exchanges confused looks. “It's a spell.” You remind them and they nod their heads. “Now, go. Meet you at the library!”

According to the plan, you and Yunho go through the back gate while Claire and Kevin from the front gate. The sound of the rusted iron screeching when Kevin pushes the gate echoes around the Manor and you curse under your breath. 

The way up to the first floor had been easy, then after the signal from the other team gave clearance, you decided to head to the second floor alone bidding Yunho a goodbye. It had been strange for a while, walking down the eerie, empty hallway with the feeling of something watching you the whole time. 

You stand in the middle of the never ending hallway, a ghostly whisper greets your ear and sends shivers down your spine. 

What in the fucking hell?? 

There's a ghostly touch on your arm, ice cold as it traces its finger down your warm skin. When you turn to face the monster, there's no one behind you. Then you feel it, a looming shadow over your shoulder but when you turn again, it's gone. 

So, you walk on because standing still is more dangerous. You choose to run when you see a pale face in the middle of the corridor grinning wildly at you which sends terror down your body. Your heart beats at an amazing speed as your breath shortens, adrenaline running through your body which initiates the flight mechanism because there is no way you're dealing with that demonic thing in this haunted mansion. 

“I've been searching for you for so long.” A voice echoes in the hallway or is it your brain playing tricks on you. Luckily you find the stairway leading to the second floor and run towards it but things take a turn when you realise, it is a trap. 

“I thought you were a smart girl.” The sinister voice echoes in your mind again as you walk away from the door that shut itself only to bump into something hard. Turning around you come to see the very pale face you had seen in the hallway but very clearly now. 

The man stands in front of you in his full glory, the navy uniform and wounds from the battle still decorating his lifeless body. “You traitor!” You feel a sharp pain in your chest and you look down to see a dagger pressed to your heart. “You'll repay the blood we shed that night, you vampire.” Everything goes black when he twists the knife and the last thing you see is a scared yunho trying to save you.

[semi-sketchy]

Okay I 100% legally watched Sonic 3.

6/10, overhyped.

I think I enjoyed the second movie more actually, but let me walk through this.

As a brief summary, basically Gerald was imprisoned for 50 years and designed the Eclipse Cannon (it's just a flying saucer laser) in return for his freedom. GUN built it, but it needs two keys to activate. So it's kinda a race to see who can get both keys and either destroy the world or save it. Gerald was also the one who hacked into the system and disabled Shadow's stasis as well as stole Eggman's tech to lure him to the research facility for a team-up. That's the basis of the plot.

Firstly, the beginning is...a million miles a minute. I thought the trailers were hypercut, but no the scenes really are just that fast. (At least until we get to Carrey. Animating hedgehogs is too expensive.) Sonic's having a party, GUN shows up like "we need Team Sonic" and Sonic is literally just like "I like the name, let's go!" that's it. No briefing, no convincing from the organization that tased and captured him, just go.

I did find the little "What did you do, Sonic?" "I don't know, I do a lot of things" line to be funny, though.

Also before they jump out of the chopper, Sonic does the "talk about low budget flights" but it is...so forced. Like the entire idea behind that line in SA2 is Sonic is being a cheeky bastard because they captured him, here he just randomly says it for no reason.

NOW THE ACTUAL BEST PART OF THE MOVIE, Shadow and Maria. God they were SO CUTE. Like this is the stuff I wanted out of Dark Beginnings. Maria on roller skates while Shadow pulls her around the base, just getting into kid mischief, watching movies, slipping keycards to go sit out and watch the stars... Oh my god AND THE BUNNY FACE SHE DRAWS ON HIS TUBE. These scenes? 10/10.

Actually, when Commander Walters finally briefs Sonic, the way it was edited really made me think "oh shit did...did Shadow accidentally kill Maria in this movie?" that's obviously not what happened, but I was interested to see what angle they took.

Oh yeah and Maria didn't get shot. She died from an explosion CAUSED by a gunshot. The solider was trying to shoot her though, just Walters knocked the gun because "that's a child!" So there's that. (Not allowed to hate the GUN commander here, after all, he's on Sonic's side! He can't be for child murder!)

It was also...not as dramatic as I thought it would be. It's like 30 seconds. Gerald runs up, says "We have to go, they wanna take Shadow from us!" Then 10 seconds later, boom. I'm not paraphrasing, by the way.

Oh yeah, I guess I should mention Gerald. He's 110 and still alive. I was not opposed to this, I like to think I'm receptive to changes in AUs and I was curious what they could do with Gerald actively manipulating Shadow. Here's what they do: Jim Carrey. It's just double the Jim Carrey shenanigans and yes, it is tiring. Shadow has a moment like "I don't know if this is what Maria would have wanted..." and Gerald just goes "it's not about what she wanted, it's about what they deserve" and that's...basically it. YOU COULD'VE DONE MORE WITH THIS, BRO.

On top of that, Shadow was not created: he was found inside a meteor that looks A LOT like the Black Comet. Considering this is meant to be modern day Earth and not a huge fictional universe like the games where there's advanced space stations and such in the 50s (oh yeah the ARK ain't real here) I'm fine with this. Keeps his alien origins while aligning to the movie universe.

And I was kinda surprised but I THINK there's a reference to the fandub?? Sonic calls Shadow "Hot Topic" nooo my secret!!! so that was interesting. Could also just be some of their famous product placement, but this movie is also less...commercial than the others. No Olive Garden mentioned. Guess they used all the ad space on Knuckles.

Anyways, while getting the second key, Shadow punches Tom because he has the key and is currently disguised as Commander Walters, the one who sealed Shadow away. This is important, this is like the basis for the entire end of the movie because apparently one punch to the chest is enough to knock Tom out and put him in the hospital.

Now Sonic ALSO wants revenge, so he gets the Master Emerald to go super and...I just gotta point out, Knuckles left it with Wade. The way EVERYONE IN THE THEATER GROANED WHEN WADE POPPED UP ON SCREEN it was beautiful. Nice to know we all hate the Knuckles show.

This all leads to Shadow's reform which was...ech? After Sonic is like "no I won't kill you, that's not who I am, revenge doesn't make things better" Shadow is like "I didn't have a choice in who I became" and Sonic says "you always have a choice", Live and Learn plays and they go to stop the cannon firing on Earth. It felt so...shallow for a character like Shadow. Nothing about how Maria loved the world, so he should protect the world to honor her memory, it's just "revenge is bad". I guess it's to be more relatable to Sonic because they lean more into them being two sides of the same coin, but it's just so rushed and hollow.

Meanwhile Eggman kills his grandfather in a really drawn out unfunny sequence because he wants to rule the world, not destroy it, but the canon is already set to fire so they instead turn it away from the Earth while Super Sonic and Shadow block the ray. (The moon getting hit is an accident.)

Also you have no idea how much I wanted them to show Sonic trying to save Shadow, but only getting his inhibitor ring, THOUGH SONIC IS THE ONE WHOSE SUPER FORM FAILS. In this universe, I guess it makes sense because Sonic isn't the absolute powerhouse his game version is. But does Shadow show his growth and try to save him? No, it takes Tails and Knuckles awhile to address that.

Anyways, the reactor is unstable so Eggman tries to buy time while Shadow pushes the weapon away from Earth and then it blows up, killing both of them. ...Well Shadow shows up in the post-credits alive so I guess just Eggman is dead...maybe. Because the other scene shows a shit ton of Metal Sonics a la Shadow Android and Amy shows up to save him as the 4th teaser.

Overall, my issue isn't that it changed SA2's story, I wanted something different because I literally have SA2 at home. It's just these changes have all their potential completely squandered in favor of a lot and I mean a LOT of Jim Carrey nonsense. He's like half this movie.

With the writing quality of these films, I shouldn't be surprised, but I really thought after the second movie, they were on a good track. After seeing everyone else love it, it's kinda disappointing to find it rather mid.

Oh yeah and nothing from the bowling tournament teaser line in the Knuckles series, either. After making us sit through that hell, I WANTED to see Shadow bowl. We truly were robbed.

[pastel-omegas-blog]

My very first commission ever.

Requested by the Fabulous and amazing @bloodyrainbowbunnies

A 2000+ word fic with two other kinks.

I wrote 5000+ though because of how much joy they brought me.

Here's a sneak peak.

CAIN X MALE READER.  HAPPY DAYS

The soft sounds of hushed moans and soft whimpers filled the office room as a spike of thick harsh pheromones wafted in the air, paperwork and documents that were once neatly arranged in a pile now laid scattered on the marble floor instead of the table where it was supposed to be.

Sitted on his throne like chair an alpha with silver colored hair let out a groan as his arms snaked around the body of the s/c man sitting on his lap bringing him closer to his chest not wanting to break the kiss both of them had found themselves entangled in.

With bodies pressed together almost molding into one  the heat caused them to want more as the smaller man's arms wrapped themselves around the alpha's neck getting him to lower bend to deepen the kiss

Ignoring the lack of air their tongues fought for dominance, one trying to come on top ( even though they both already knew who would win ).

Growing frustrated at fact he wasn't winning ( and because he didn't want to lose again bro the smug alpha ) the smaller man nipped on the alpha's lips startling the larger man giving him the chance to shove his tongue inside the man's mouth making him victorious.

Though in retaliation the silver haired man slapped his ass  making the s/c man break the kiss as a squeal left his mouth at the sting caused by the impact.

" Meanie. That hurt. " The smaller man whined out slapping his husband's shoulder , but the man only stuck his tongue out.

" Then you shouldn't have bit me. "  The alpha retorted causing the s/c man to pout and turn his head to the side not wanting to acknowledge he was in the wrong.

Cain couldn't help but chuckle at his husband's brattiness, cooing softly at his omega the Emperor buried his face in the crook his mate's neck, inhaling the sweet scent of fresh peaches, thick honey and warm milk letting out a sigh at the calming scent before kissing the mating mark he had left behind, his hand rubbing soothing circles on the other's stinging ass, a smirk spreading on his thin lips when the man grumbled at him but didn't push him away.   

 ' No wonder xavier is so hard to control, he has his father's cheekiness ' 

 Cain thought to his only son, a smaller carbon copy of his with his love's s/c skin. A through terror who bent to the whims of his papa.

' Even their pouts and scowl are the same ' he thought with a chuckle.

" Awwwwn I'm sorry love , won't you forgive me ~. "  

The alpha drawled out in a teasing tone as he peppered kisses on his husband's neck, his smirk growing wider as he noticed the flush  on his husband's face getting darker.

" You sure don't sound sorry. " The omega spat out with a bit of annoyance in his voice, still not facing his mate as he seemed to find the walls of the room more interesting than the smug smirk he was sure was on his husband's face.

" Well it's not my fault you can't handle what you dish out " Cain replied in a sing song voice, forcing back his laughter as he watched the omega's pout deepen into the scowl and the other Emperor grumbled ' cheeky bastard ' under his breath as he silently accepted his defeat, at least that's what the alpha thought was going through his head.

Chuckling softly Cain continued to nuzzle his face in his husband's neck, a deep purr of content rumbling in his chest.

With the haze of lust no longer present in the room the couple simply stayed tangled in each other's embrace as a warm cozy feeling settled in it's place.

The thick scent of arousal dying down as a more sweet homey scent replaced it. 

Now that they weren't at trying to strip each another down, they relaxed to enjoy the beautiful weather the day had provided.

Fresh air and soft rays of sunlight spilled into the room from the open balcony, the curtains being pulled back made the pretty blue sky visible to the two, the soft chirping of birds and the cheerful chattering of the palace staff filled the air along.

The atmosphere of the Verxnion Empire's palace was peaceful again today.

M/N pulled away from his husband childishly sticking his tongue out at the smug look the alpha gave him, the omega  taking it as his turn to bury his face in his husband's neck, placing a kiss on the mating mark he had left behind a smile growing on lips.

He couldn't stay ' mad ' at him for long.

" Oh so I've been forgiven ?. "  The silver haired man asked with a mock shock and the omega simply rolled his eyes at his mate's teasing.

" Well as your merciful Emperor and holy saint of  this glorious empire, it's only fair I take pity on my loyal subject " M/N played along, raising his head to stare into the alpha's eyes giving him a smug smile of his own. 

Silvery white hues filled with amusement as they stared into mischievous e/c hues.

" My aren't you a generous and kind soul my leige "  Cain mused going to run his hand through his omega's soft h/c locks, his heart melting at the soft chirps escaping the man's plush lips.

" I have to be, it's only natural for someone of such a high position to be understanding  " the  h/c replied and it was Cain's turn to roll his eyes and M/N couldn't stop the laughter that left his lips.

This moments of happiness was something he had never thought he would be able to have.

He hadn't thought he would ever experience such a genuine and raw emotion.

One that made his chest flutter and fill with warmth.

After all happiness hadn't been what he had thought of when he had been given a second chance to start again.

He had wanted revenge.

He had wanted nothing more than to make all those who had wronged him all suffer a hellish and gruesome punishment.

At some point it had gnawd and completely consumed him.

It had made him treat the very few people who actually deeply care about him like pawns.

It was at that point he had realized he was becoming exactly like the people he despised.

And it broke him even more.

But before he could be consumed by the darkness  hands had stretched out and pulled him out of it.

He could still remember the look of desperation and fear in those silvery white eyes as the man had stretched out his hands to save him.

He could still remember the look of relief in her golden hues as she wrapped around him, crying out in utter relief.

He could still remember the face of those that cherished him dearly as the cheered for his recovery and well being.

They had saved him from himself.

They loved him.

They had cherished him.

They had showed him true happiness.

They had protected him.

And because of that, he didn't have to think when he had charged head first to protect them from the coup war initiated by the Trovian Empire and it's corruption crazed emperors and temple members.

And for the first time in his life he didn't have to fight alone.

With the help of his new found family he had been able to beat them seal away the corrupted beings and with the power bestowed on him by the god sealed within him he had been able to create a secure utopian empire  for the people he loved.

A land where all of them where safe and happy.

And once again with their help he had been able to achieve it.

They had created an empire with the new land his blessings had bestowed upon them.

One that was free and fair for everyone.

One that treated all it's people like family.

One that abolished the prejudice between secondary classes.

One that was a safe haven for all in need of help.

The Verxnion Empire  was an empire built on love, equality and freedom.

A place that was absolutely perfect for his own pup and others to grow in a safe and secure environment surrounded by love.

And everyone played their role in keeping the empire moving.

Because of that it had stood strongly withoutl faltering for the past ten years and it would continue to stand until the end of time.

" Then you should know it's not very gracious of you to cheat your way into dominance by biting my lip "  Cain said drawing his husband's attention back to him, bursting the s/c man's haughty acting.

The silver haired man had been expecting the smaller man to scowl once again but M/N simply gave his mate a teasing smirk catching Cain off guard, the man wondering what his mate could be up to.

" Oh really ? ~. "  The omega mused, going to grind his ass on the alpha's crotch, his smirk becoming more taunting.

" But the bulge in your pants is telling me another story dear, don't think I didn't noticed how much harder you got when I  bit you~ " 

The h/c man teased as his grinding became more harsh, going to wrap his arms around the larger man's neck to pull his face closer to his

" Besides, that's what you get for snatching me up all of a sudden without any warning. The paper work Danny and Eve worked so hard to arrange for us is scattered all over the place simply because you couldn't keep your hands to yourself " M/N said with a mock scolding tone his smirk growing bigger at the sheepish look that appeared on Cain's face.

" But you looked so hot. I couldn't help myself " the alpha whined out like a child in return to his husband's ' scolding ', closing his eyes as a harsh hiss leaving his lips when his pretty little mate rocked his hips harder on his hardening cock.

" Cheeky little brat " Cain said without any bite, opening his eyes to stare in vibrant pools of pretty e/c hues a groan leaving his lips at his omega's teasing.

" Says the one who couldn't wait untill we we're back in the comforts of the bedroom and my nest so he could dick me down properly.

Xavier is spending the rest of the weekend at Ria and Eve's place playing with Bebe and the twins, you could have had little more patience until then my dear husband. "

A small peak of the whole fic.

Again of interested in commissioning me DM me so we can chat.

Thank you again bunny❤️

[hetaologist]

World Meeting (pt. 1)

England: *Enters the meeting room* Right, I want to address a particular Tweet as today’s meeting topic…

*All Nations stop what they’re doing to look at England*

England: Just last week, I read a Tweet from a *specific* individual, talking shit about my food.

*All Nations groan, America snickers to himself*

England: *Narrows eyes at America*, I’ll have you know, my ‘Pie and Mash’ is a good, hardy meal and a British classic!

America: *Stands from his desk with a cheeky grin* Come on dude, don’t tell me you actually look forward to eating dry ass meat pies covered in nuclear green gravy and a side of wall paste~. *He laughs mischievously*

England: WHY YOU CHEEKY BAST-

France: *Clears his throat* Mon amie~, I’m forced to agree with America…unfortunately.”

England: *Snaps his head towards France* WHAT!? Says you, you snail sucker! Your food is overrated and overly complicated to make.

France: *Clutches pearls* Sacré bleu, you heathen! At least my food is desired for and doesn't make people fat, no~?!

*America and England both glare at France*

America: Excuse me bro...?

*Germany stands up and places hands on table*

Germany: Now's not the time to talk about frivolous topics as such. The three of you, sit down und shut up!

America: Hmph, says you. You think it's perfectly okay to eat boiled sausages with boiled potatoes and noodles with no seasonings.

*Germany gasps and gets taken a back*

Germany: DON'T TALK SCHEISSE ABOUT MY FOOD, YOU LARD COVERED ARSCHLOCH!

France: And no, covering everything in mustard or paprika doesn't count~.

*Germany is fuming like a hot baked potato*

England: Hehe~. Now you know how I feel in this situation, you bland Kraut!

America: HAHA! And your beer tastes terrible~.

*Everyone deadass looks at America*

America: What?

Russia: That's some bold words coming from you, Америка~. Germany's beer is pretty good, your beer tastes like man pissed into bottle before closing it.

America: HEY! At least my food is well seasoned and diverse...

China: Yeah right, your shit is just our stuff but with too much sugar and salt.

*All Nations nod their head in agreement*

America: No it isn't! I just like lots of flavor....

*England looks over at America's Stanley cup on his desk*

England: I bet that coffee cup is filled to the BRIM with pure sugar and syrups, you fat ass.

America: Nah dude, it's filled with my *:･ﾟ✧special sauce*:･ﾟ✧.

*America opens up his giant cup filled with sauce*

America: It's a combination of ranch, hot sauce, chicken tender sauce, tangy BBQ sauce, ketchup, mustard, mayo, bacon bits, chipotle, sour cream, sweet n' sour and chili sauce~.

*Everyone looks in horror at America's concoction*

England: What in the ACTUAL FUCK AMERICA ?! Why do you have a huge ass cup of JUST SAUCE?!

America: To quench my thirst, of course!

*Everyone's jaw drops in disgust, some start to gag*

Russia: I should have bombed you when I had chance...

America: Nah, I'm just playing! It's for my chicken tenders.

*America pulls out a box of fast food chicken tenders out of coat pocket*

Germany: WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT WITH YOU?!

America: It's my snackies :3c , this is the sauce I use for everything! Like tacos, burgers, pizza...

*North Italy faint after hearing 'pizza'. South Italy gasps and tends to his brother.*

South Italy: You sick fuck, you always fuck up our beloved pizza and pasta!

America: Wha- no I don't!

South Italy: You are the bastard that put pineapple on pizza and fucked it all-a up!

America: Actually, that's Canada's invention...

South Italy: WHAT?!

*Everyone looks at Canada*

Canada: ...damn it. It's really not that bad, honestly.

South Italy: You're just as bad as your brother!

Canada: Fair...

*America gets on the desk and stands on it*

America: How about we once and for all decide who has the best food in the world and that person can talk all the shit they want about other countries food!

*All Nations agrees to the motion, except for Germany*

Germany: Gott in Himmel... *facepalms*

(to be continued...)

[deathofacupid]

advice from one who can't take their own | peter parker

summary: you're rather good at giving out love advice, just not as good at taking it.

peter had been so weird lately. as if he was hiding something from her, one big secret. no, not spiderman. y/n already knew that. it's not like she'd walked into him wearing boxers and  holding his suit.

good times.

this was different and she could tell. but y/n had a plan. a well-ish formulated plan. they had study sessions every week, always on wednesdays, the same day she would find out what that cheeky bastard was hiding.

y/n stuffed her bag with her school notebooks, and dumping whatever else was in her locker in there. zipping it up, she saw peter in the corner of her eye and walked over to him, picking her words out carefully.

"hi, pete. we're still up for today at yours, right? you, mj, ned, and i?"

he turned around to face you rather quickly, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water as he searched for words. it was like he'd forgotten all the english he'd spent 17 years of his life learning.

"um, uh, yes, yeah. totally up. like, so freaking up. i-in the sky and... mhm," he cringed so hard at his word choice and she furrowed her brows together.

this was the weird she had been talking about.

"...okay. you good? you seem kinda, uh... never mind. see you then." she hadn't even bothered to further address it, turning on her heels and leaving the school. oh, well. y/n would figure it out in about 2 hours and 12 minutes exactly. (she was rather looking forward to finding out.)

peter let out a breath he hadn't known he was even holding as he slammed his locker shut and rested his forehead against it. why was he so terrible at this? why hadn't she caught on yet? wasn't he being so blatantly obvious about it?

mj and ned had figured it out fast. ned, for god sakes could put two and two together, so why couldn't y/n? it was save him so much time. and embarrassment. so much embarrassment. peter groaned in frustration as he headed back to his place, walking excruciatingly slowly on purpose. 

maybe he could come up with some last minute excuse for spider-man or something. peter knew she'd understand.

no, he told himself, i'm not chickening out. it's cool. i'm cool. ice cool.

he could be chill about this, he had to. after all, it's not like their friendship was riding on this.

when he got home, he barely mumbled a "hi" to aunt may and went to go sulk in his room. this boy was so sure that she didn't like him back, but sooner or later, y/n would find out, and he'd rather it be from him than anyone else.

if he could be spider-man, swinging around the city in a skintight suit, why couldn't he confess to his school-boy crush.

except it wasn't a crush.

he was in love, and at least he could admit that to himself.

peter trudged over to his desking, deciding he could use a distraction. he pulled out his notebook, only used for blueprints and other spidermanly stuff, and started on a new web cartridge design. only gods know how long he sat there for, and whether or not his butt was sore by then.

"hey."

peter yelped, snapping his neck towards the door, pausing momentarily as he got a weird sense of deja-vu.

just ned.

"dude, what are you doing here already," he glanced at the time, "you know we've got practically an hour, right?"

"12 minutes," peter's eyes widened, as he didn't realize that much time had passed. "but technicalities aside, i didn't really have anything better to do, so i thought 'might as well live up to the title of guy in the chair.' also, why'd you shriek like that? don't you have your peter tingle, or whatever?"

"what? what do you mean, shriek? i don't shriek!"

"that was a shriek. very high-pitched, bro. i don't think my cousin could even hit that note... and she's a 9 year-old girl," ned snickered.

"okay, well," scoffed peter, very offended by ned's claim, "my yell was manly. and second, it's not. my. peter. tingle! spidey-senses, man! i can't have peter tingle catching on! it's not badass!"

"but leprechauning around the city in tights is?" mj asked.

"jeezus, mj. just say hello like a normal person," peter sighed.

"how come you didn't shriek when she walked in?" ned narrowed his eyes at the brunet.

"because i knew she was there!"

"wait, peter shieks?" mj piped in.

"yes, i- i mean, no! not the point! it's cause my senses only detect threats, moron!"

"so i'm a threat, now?" she rose an eyebrow.

"well... you can be scary," the wallcrawler admitted.

ned insisted, "i can be scary, too!"

"...sure," mj shrugged. "look, you're one of my best friends and all peter, but watching you dance around y/n is getting boring. just ask her out already," he practically got whiplash from that subject change.

"no!"

"why?"

"because i- i can't!"

"but you like her? and she likes you back?"

"who likes who?" the h/c colored hair girl asked, just walking in.

"uh," peter hesitated, if he said his own name then she would think he wasn't interested. so that left but one option.

"ned does! like someone, i mean," peter stammered out.

"oh. you do? does she know? wait, wait, who is it?"

"yeah, peter, who is it?" ned hissed.

mj snickered, getting ready to watch the chaos unravel.

"he doesn't wanna tell, e-embarrassed, i guess. and he hasn't told her yet... because... he's afraid she'll reject him," peter replied.

"aw, ned," y/n reassured him.

"yeah, and he really, really likes this girl. he loves her, honestly. it- it's like, um, now that he's met her, he knows where he belongs, 'cause she's a part of him. when i- he sees her, it's as if space and time became the finest point imaginable, as if time collapsed into one tiny speck and exploded at light speed.

"it's as if his universe begins and ends with her. he could run forever, search forever, but in the end, every path leads right back to her. it's like she lights up everything, j-just wherever she goes. like, she's beauty. she's happiness. she's love. all these wonderful emotions curdled up into this ball inside of him, waiting to burst, because- because he loves her," he finished, bright red and out of breath.

maybe he could be a poet, if nothing else.

y/n was bewildered. and so confused. he had this look in his eyes, unlike anything she'd seen before. like he really wanted something, urging to get it. there was purity in his eyes, a wholesomeness that makes her shiver with emotion. it felt like he was talking to her in that moment. like no one else existed.

just them. in their own walls, constricted and laced with contentment and something else.

"well," she said quietly, getting over her shock, "if he can repeat those words to his mystery girl, then he's got this in the bag."

"but what if i- he messes up? and their friendship gets ruined?"

"it's worth it. he deserves to tell her that, and she deserves to hear it. and if she doesn't feel the same, don't bother. she isn't the one."

they were so close together, inches away from their lips meeting, so lost in each other, they didn't notice mj drag ned out by his ear.

"and if i was the one who said that to you? would i- would i have this in the bag?"

y/n nodded slowly, gathering her newfound courage to kiss him.

so she did.

it was everything. all her pent up emotion flooded out of her, pushing into the kiss. it felt like they fit. a click. as if they were each other's last puzzle pieces, the satisfaction of it rustling in.

"i take it you weren't talking about ned?" she asked softly.

"no," peter chuckled. "you know, you give pretty good advice. even if you can't take your own."

and he kissed her again.

it was even better this time.

[sillygoofyqueer]

The Untamed review: episode four!!!!

My name, so this one better be good

I love the intro but it's so FUCKING LONG

Wei Wuxian, there's no way you're going to be late for this, oh my god

Also, sleeping in papers, what a guy

Lan Wangji is stealing the show so much

GUYS, SYNCHRONISATION IS KEY

Fuck me, you're going to read them all out???

I'd cry

WEI WUXIAN YAWNING ALREADY

stop yawning so much.

The fuck is that sound????

IS THAT NIE HUAISANG?????

Also, pulling that look is so amusing

Lan Wangji with the side eye, you can tell he gets it from Lan Qiren

Wei Wuxian looks so confused, poor bastard

Literally all whispering as if it means nothing

WEI WUXIAN STOP ENCOURAGING HIM!!!!!!

This is getting funnier by the deconf

The cheeky little smile and wave Wei Wuxian gives Lan Wangji, I too would be shaking in my 'gay denial' boots

Bro got iced out 😔

FUDDY-DUDDY HAHAHAHAHAHAAA

This is the look of a great friendship

The fuck is Jin clan doing??? Jin Zixuan, you aren't that important

Oooooh, bribery

I thought the Lans hated fancy things

Also THE FACE WEI WUXIAN PULLS IN AGREEMENT OF JIANG CHENG I'M CACKLING

That's right, listen to Jiang Yanli, she's the boss this time

NIE CLAN'S TURN!!!!!

This is going to go kind of bad. Or Jiang clan's, I haven't decided yet

My ass could not stand this long

The man making sure his hair is okay, literally cackling

My ass could also never be this synchronised

MENG YAO?!??! AS IN-- AS IN JIN GUANGYAO???

You know, you can tell. He has this dead look in his eyes and such a rubbery smile, it can only be one from the working class.

BRO'S ARE GOSSIPING ABOUT MENG YAO? (I don't like him, but he is tragic to be honest)

LAN XICHEN YOU ARE A WHORE AND I LOVE YOU FOR IT

Flirting fr

Also, Lan Xichen's jawline is insane, I can see why Lan Wangji mews. Has to catch up with his brother somehow.

AGH, IT'S THE WENS. SHOOT THEM DEAD NOW.

Kill Wen Chao. Kiiiiill.

WEN NING, MY LITTLE BUNDLE OF JOY!!!! YOU LOOK FUCKING TERRIFIED!!!

Y'all, literally crashing the party.

DUDES, YOU CAN'T FUCKING KILL HIM! HE'S ON FIRE HOLY SHIT

Wen Chao, when I get my hands on you *insert grumbling here*

Wen Qing, you're so pretty 😔 you and your brother are holding the entire Wen clan on your backs

Wen Ning closing his eyes, my little man, nooo 🥺

HELP THE POOR BASTARD

Oh thank god, Wen Qing, I love you.

The fuck you gonna do, Wen Chao?? She's the best.

Kill hiiiim.

Lucky.

INTERRUPTING FUCKING JIANG CLAN??? YOU BASTARDS.

Wen Ning looking down at the ground, I feel so bad for him 🥺

KILL HIM. KIIIIILL.

Lan Wangji ready to fucking square up hahahaha

Lan Xichen, I know politics and that, but it'd be so funny if he decked him, just let Lan Wangji take a swing and see if Wen Chao can get up from that.

Nie Huaisang literally gossiping, he's the best. Also he looks so prettyyy. And his fan??? I want.

Damn, Wei Wuxian, I know you've got balls, but the Wen Clan?? You brave dumbass.

HANGDOG?!???!? BRO COULD TAKE YOU DOWN WITH ONE ARM, YOU TAKE THAT BACK, YOU POMPOUS PRICK!

I love how Wei Wuxian just sighs and throws his hands up when he gets called a nobody. Truly the thickest skin.

That's right, stand up for your brother.

DAMN WEI YING, DAMN

I'd like to see you try, stuck up bastard.

WEI WUXIAN WAS ACTUALLY CARRYING HIS SWORD THIS WHOLE TIME??? I DEADASS THOUGHT IT WAS A STICK

Haha, an impasse. They'd sooo beat you down.

I like how they're so good at catching their swords. I wish I could.

Hahaha, Lan Xichen looks so done with everyone's shit. God forbid something is easy for once.

Catching everyone's attention with his badass flute playing.

L there goes the swords

They all look baffled hahaha

Nie Huaisang being gay with that look

Listen, he's an icon, okay. A massive icon.

BRO IS BASICALLY TELLING HIM TO PUT A MUZZLE ON HIS SHIT HAHAHA

Wen Qing sliding in to save the day, I love her.

Wen Ning looks so scared 😔

Don't be mean to her on WEN CHAO'S behaviour

Thanks Lan Qiren

TELLING HIM TO SCRAM, LAN XICHEN YOU ICON

"Be on time!! 🤭☺️"

I love when they gossip

Stoooop, he's ego's already immense enough as it is

"resisting evil guys is an endless joy" oh, Wei Wuxian, my beloved dumbass

Hahaha, it's stupidity, not courage.

YOU ARE SUCH A BAD INFLUENCE

"Stoooop, let me have fun"

Look, Lan Wangji, it's your boyfriend! Don't... DON'T IGNORE HIM!!!

Wei Wuxian never learns

"I fought him last night" and Nie Huaisang looks like he's about to pass out

They are such gossipers

Jiang Cheng stomping his feet as he follows haha

They obviously have alterior motives, Lan Xichen is sooo smart

He's catching on so fast haha

Lan Qiren gets his brain power from tea

I want to tug his beard tee hee

He's just dropping lore at this point

MENG YAO LOOKS PETRIFIED

Aw, they're going to be besties. What could possibly go wrong? (Foreshadowing foreshadowing)

He looks like he's about to cry, stoppp

Lan Xichen may also be having his own love crisis

WEN QING!!!!!

What you up to, guuurl?

Oh shit, you plotting. I'll leave you to it

They're having so much fun in the lake, they're literally best friends.

They share one brain cell haha

Hahahaha, the way that Nie Huaisang just takes Wei Wuxian's word as gospel

One day you'll catch a fish

Hehe, watch him pout

HE'S PLOTTING!!!

HAHAHA, DON'T LET HIM WIN

I love how he immediately goes serious

Don't just ditch Nie Huaisang like that

HOW ARE HIS ROBES DRY ALREADY???

He's so unaware of the danger he's in, that cheeky little smile

He's going to be such good friends with her, just you wait

He will get the answers he wants, he's like a fly that doesn't leave till he gets what he wants

Nice, turning it back on him

"I have serious business 😠" and she looks at him like 'what is it?' "catching fish 😌"

He's a loveable dumbass

SHE NEVER ANSWERED WEI

I wish I could dance like that. Oh, he's training, my bad.

Y'all, Jiang Cheng is so baby girl

He just feels inferior, leave him alone 😔

"You're both the same, you're dumbasses together"

Jiang Yanli, I love I live I adore

Everyone loves her soup xoxo

TAKE THE FISH, JIANG CHENG

Stoooop, he's teasing him, they're family

I hate fish but they seem to enjoy it

Goofy goobers I love

Mmm, guqin playing makes my ear drums vibrate

Everyone looks bored as shit

WEI WUXIAN IS LITERALLY SLEEPING

I want a group of randos to follow me around

HE WAS BEING POLITE!!! MOCKINGLY SO, BUT STILL

Jiang Cheng trying to wake up Wei Wuxian is so wholesome to me

NIE WAKE UP AGAIN

They're besties oh my god

PASSING NOTES IN CLASS, AND EATING!!!!

Even Lan Wangji looks ready to fall asleep lmao

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

The glare, they're literally in love

All of the rules are boring

WEI WUXIAN, LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO, I LOVE HOW NIE HUAISANG IS EGGING HIM ON

Wei Wuxian is literally a genius, don't try and catch him off guard

Hehe, I'd do anything for Jiang Yanli to look so proud of me 😌

Literally targeting him, get over yourself

Lan Wangji himself can see his greatness first hand

THE LITTLE NOD NIE HUAISANG GIVES HIM AAAAWWWWWW

he can be proud if he wants, leave him alone

This is where it goes insane

Wangji, you show off, he does know he's just plotting

Shut up, he's just fucking calling on his star pupil to show off

Fuck off Jin Zixuan, you didn't know it either

Wei Wuxian, you are opening a whole can of worms

Lan Wangji, always there to answer his boyfriend's rival's queries

(side note: eating chicken and it's banging 😌)

Wei Wuxian, always picking things apart

Shut up Jin Zixuan, square up

Lan Wangji's side eye hahahaha

Wei Wuxian is just asking questions dude

THE SHOCK ON NIE HUAISANG'S FACE WHEN SOMETHING GETS LOBBED AT WEI WUXIAN

HE TRIED TO SHUSH HIM HAHAHA

Everyone is tryna shut him up lmaooo

He makes a point though

A THOUSAND TIMES HAHAAAAAA

He looks like a scolded child

Lan Wangji looks like it's a punishment for him as well

WEN NING MY BABY!!!!!

You're so good at aiming bbg

GO ON BABY!!!!!!

Wei Wuxian going in to compliment right away

He's forming his crush hahahaha

I love them both

"Why aren't you in the lecture?" "I'm too young, you?" "I got kicked out ☺️"

Adjusting posture? Makes for a great gay moment...just saying....

His first friend!!!!!!!

Wen Ning looks so flustered

WEN QING I LOVE YOU BUT YOU THREW HIM OFF!!!

Go on Wei Wuxian, saving the day

Wen Ning standing up for his new friend!!!

I love them

POSING HAHAHAHA

He looks like a kicked puppy

Lan Wangji is like a little stalker haha

THE ENDING IS SO LONG AS WELL

[lunarfeat21]

you know what would be funny? y/n and bluenose interacting and they are so done with each other

bluenose: "Well, well well! this is quite a shock to see you, y/n!

tell me how is it you being an errand boy for the port going on?

y/n puts on a smile that doesn't reach their eyes and says in a sickeningly sick voice laced with barbed sarcasm

Y/N: bluenose it is such.. a DELIGHTFUL surprise to see you, I'm truly honored to be In the presence of big city ports 'most eligible bachelor'

Bro, bro, same!

These two will on each other’s throats if they cross paths, and it’s a battle of insults. It would be something worth paying to see, but had to be foiled by a party pooper (i.e. Captain Star but tried so hard to not laugh).

Just picture this:

imagine you were Ten Cents, had y/n tag along with Sunshine, on your way to deliver fuel for Lillie Lightship. Suddenly, a familiar face with a bluish nose, came to view as you knew shit is about to hit the fan.

The naval tug yapping bs orders as usual, cue eye rolling and groaning, until he paused mid sentence. He squinted and proceeded to laugh, in fact roaring with laughter as he gasped for air.

The two had no clue, until Sunshine noticed y/n, at the front of the bow with teeth baring out in a scowl and fists clenching.

Apparently, these two met earlier today (via Captain Star) and let's say Bluenose irritate the hell out of them (especially being called an 'errand boy' as in insult bc he heard the rumors of y/n being held against their will).

The two tugs are ready to throw hands (or words since they don’t have hands), when y/n’s lips curved to a huge smile. They chuckled as well, which somehow urked Bluenose.

“Now what’s this sudden smug face, laddie?” He hissed.

“Oh nothing.” A sweetly oozy voice came from y/n, their eyes grew childlike, trying to appeared as innocent.

At this point, both Sunshine and Ten Cents were giggling, three Z stacks were hiding in the corner of a building and was ease dropping, quietly snickering at the event unfolding.

Y/n somehow captured the attention of others, and this set Bluenose off.

Bluenose’s face flush a shade of cherry red all over, gritting his teeth, and growled in anger of this humiliation.

“Gone cheeky, are we?”

“hmmmm?” Y/n cooed inquisitively, eyes doting away. “Maybe…”

“You wouldn’t be so cheeky if you were in the navy, under my jurisdiction, Errand Boy…”

“Whatever you say, but I’m under Captain Star’s jurisdiction. A small, insignificant, blueberry nosed prude have no place here to talk me down.”

Y/n huffed as their eyes met with an angry Bluenose as he stormed out, the switchers and the z stacks were all laughing hysterically along with others that were nearby.

“Captain Star would hear about this laddie!” The naval tug shouted across the yard, releasing more steam than usual “I’ll go as far as to persuade him to draft you, then will see who has the last laugh!”

“SUCK MY PLUMS! BASTARD!” Y/n retorted, ensued by more laughter.

——————————————

Your and Bluenose’s argument became a favorite story among the port, whispers and rumors go around when either Bluenose or y/n are out in public.

Not as much as a ultra favorite among the Star Fleet, so much that if you listen carefully, you’ll hear the faded laugh of Captain Star.