The Beginnings: 2010-2011 (Bandcamp Exclusive)
I didn’t always call myself a “songwriter,” but I always wrote songs.
When I was a kid, I’d write songs around one word or phrase that would pop into my head.
When I was a pre-teen, I’d write songs about real life friendships and bullies but try to disguise them as love songs because I thought that was more relatable.
I used to feel like my songs would never be “good” because I’d never been in love or had a real relationship. But somehow I ended up capturing exactly how I felt in that transitional phase of my life, between a child and a teen, between junior high and high school, between naive and a little wiser.
Are the songs I wrote between 13 and 15 fantastic, Grammy-worthy songs? Probably not. But they’re my babies, and I have a sentimental attachment to them. So I re-recorded some of them in 2022 to give them the life and perspective they couldn’t have back then.
2010-2011 produced only 5 songs I felt like sharing (again… if you were here in 2010-2012, you might have heard the OG recordings).
Been Here All Along was inspired by my first crush and the fantasy I created in my head of how it would feel to date him.
Back to Me is about leaving junior high and being separated from the little class of 12 (sometimes 13) kids I grew up with when we moved to a bigger school the next fall. Knowing not all of those kids are still with us today made this one extra emotional.
I Try was inspired by my grandfather, whom I lost when I was 6 years old. Turns out the first death you have to deal with takes quite a while to really process.
I Fell Anyway came from my first attempt at a “relationship” when I got to high school and how it felt when it started falling apart.
When the Sun Goes Down came from the same situation, but I feel like it nails how I continue to grieve all my relationships.
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3 years ago today, Taylor Swift announced the evermore vinyl!
It was the first and last time she gave evermore some love. This remains a rare moment in history!
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Spencer Reid would hate modern pop music. Not to the point of outwardly complaining, but he wouldn't like it. So often you'll see character playlists that are just this moments popular songs. (Ie: Apocalypse by Cigarettes after sex, Romantic Homicide by D4vd, Not Allowed by TV Girl, Do I Wanna Know by Arctic Monkeys ect ect.) Now thats not to say those songs aren't good, but trying to say Spencer Reid would listen to them is crazy. Spencer "I only listen to classical music" Reid. If he listened to actual music with lyrics I think he'd like older music more. (Frank Sinatra, the smiths, the cure maybe specifically Boys Dont Cry, David Bowie, The smashing pumpkins.) That's not to say of course that he wouldn't like more modern music because I fully think he would like some of it. (Hozier, Djo, Alex G, peach pit, Bastille, Dominic fike.) I just don't think he'd be that into top 40 artists, I think he'd probably find a lot of their music repetitive and annoying. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.
Spencer playlist
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"You wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me."
Somehow I don't think this is where Taylor Swift was raised.
Asylums we centers of horrific abuse, primarily of disabled people.
They were tied or chained up.
They were experimented on.
They were sexually abused and raped.
They were beaten.
They were degraded.
They were neglected.
They were murdered.
Asylums served as a way to hide away people with disabilities from society, pretend they never existed, and leave them to die alone, afraid, and in pain. Many having little to no idea why.
The fact that Taylor Swift, an able bodied, neurotypical billionaire who has never encountered even a fraction of the oppression asylum victims did and disabled people still do, thinks this is an acceptable metaphor is nothing short of selfish, vile, out of touch ableism.
She is profiting off of the abuse and the murder of disabled people. She's making light of their abuse by comparing it to her cushy, well to do childhood.
Let's take a look at Taylor Swift's "asylum":
Huge house. Huge yard. Detached two-car garage. In ground pool.
This is not an asylum. It's a home. She had a home. She had her family around her. That family did what they could to support her and make her successful.
That is not asylum life.
She was not experimented on by doctors who believed she was incapable of thinking or feeling. She was not left for dead because nobody could be bothered to clean and feed her when she was incapable of doing so herself. She was not denied access to society or human connection. She was not murdered for being disabled.
Might she have been abused? Sure. Abuse does not make an asylum.
This lyric is nothing short of ableist, and it demonstrates with incredible clarity that Taylor Swift only supports minorities when it makes her look good and suits her purposes. She doesn't care about actually being informed about oppression or being a good person. She'll use minorities in whatever ways she believe will rake in the most profit. She doesn't care who she hurts, as long as she adds another couple millions to her billions.
It's time to demand some real accountability.
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