#chris and connor: the opposite actually

[moeblob]

[slu7formen]

Luke will find any excuse to be next to you, even if it’s risky for your secret situation.

slu7formen’s masterlist | luke castellan masterlist

The sun beat down on Camp Half-Blood with the fury of a thousand fires, turning the asphalt paths into giant grills for slow feet and baking the cabins insides like ovens. Chiron, being the smart centaur he is and reading the campers tired and sweaty faces like a book, declared a day off. Now the beach, usually a chill place to be at, was now a scene of joyous chaos. Laughter and shrieks echoed through the air as campers splashed, sunbathed, and competed on swimming races.

Luke, however, walked in much later, his usual smirk plastered on his face. As he approached his spot that he shared with his friends at the top of a large rock, he found his friends sprawled like a pack of sardines, their bodies glistening with water and their eyes glued to the opposite side.

“What´s so interesting over there?” he asked as he placed his own towel and belongings on his spot, right at the edge of the rock.

"Interesting?" Travis Stoll drawled, his voice breaking. "That´s not-, that doesn´t even cover it. It's like the goddess of beauty herself decided to show us how perfect her daughters are"

"Goddesses, Luke" Connor Stoll sighed dramatically, almost drooling as he didn´t even turned his head towards his friend. "Actual goddesses descended from Olympus”

Luke followed their gazes, his smirk widening as he saw the object of their collective obsession. Across the shimmering expanse of the water, a group of Aphrodite's daughters had claimed their own little oasis down on the sand. They lay draped on plush towels like exotic flowers basking in the sun, their designer sunglasses reflecting the harsh glare.

Pink bikinis, strategically revealing hidden curves and glimpses of sun-kissed skin that whispered tan lines just waiting to be discovered. Satisfied sighs escaped their lips as they surrendered to the heat, their bodies molding to the soft embrace of the towels like warm clay. Their laughter, light and airy, drifted across the water, punctuated by the clinking of ice against glass as they sipped chilled fruit juice. Perfect, rounded cherry red lips, glossed with a hint of shimmering pink, seemed to hum a silent song of invitation to those who stared too long. Lips that begged to be kissed, to taste the sweetness of a handsome camper.

Soft pop music, like a flirty summer breeze, carried the melody of carefree days and endless possibilities. The air crackled with a tension as subtle as the scent of sunscreen and coconut oil that easily reached the boys´s nostrils.

"Pink" Travis groaned, his voice thick with mock despair. "Why is everything so pink?"

Chris Rodriguez, his eyes glued to the scene across the beach, barely registered his friend's complaint. "Shh, dude, you´re interrupting"

Luke, however, couldn't help but chuckle at his friend´s dramatic comments. He scanned the scene for a second before taking a seat on his towel – the plush towels, the designer sunglasses, the perfectly manicured nails, the hair shimmering with highlights. It was a picture straight out of a beauty magazine, for sure, but it was starting to feel suffocating.

"Do you think they ever breathe?" Connor whispered.

"Doubt it" Travis chimed in, finally blinking after what felt like hours. "They probably absorb sunlight and flower perfume through their skin"

Chris snorted. "They're daughters of the goddess of beauty and love, what can you expect? They're-…"

He cut himself off, his gaze landing on one figure in particular. A girl with hair the color of spun sunshine and eyes that sparkled like the Mediterranean Sea.

“…Gods, look at that hair”

"Guys, calm down" Luke said, despite the grin threatening to split his face. "They're just girls.” He pointed out. He would´ve stopped the conversation there if it wasn´t for his friends´s stares right after he stopped talking, all of them sharing that ´Are you kidding?´ look. “Well, okay, maybe incredibly beautiful, impossibly glamorous girls, but still just girls."

"Just girls, huh?" Travis scoffed. "Those are your average looking campers? They look like they bathe in rosewater"

Chris, still mesmerized by the girl with the sun-kissed hair, chimed in, "How do you even begin to approach something like that?"

Luke chuckled, watching their exaggerated reactions with amusement. "It's not that hard, you know," he said, a teasing glint in his eyes. "Maybe if you guys spent less time staring and more time talking, you wouldn't be so intimidated."

The challenge hung in the air, a silent dare for them to prove him wrong. Connor, ever the instigator, jumped on the opportunity.

"Alright, Castellan, if it's so easy for you, do it" he smirked. "Go over there and talk to any one of them, impress them, make them laugh, do whatever you need to do to avoid getting your ass kicked”

His brother chuckled. "Let the man have his delusions, dude. He´s not-“ He stopped mid-sentence, jaw dropping open in a display of cartoonish shock.

Chris, following Travis's gaze, mirrored his friend's expression. They all stared at Luke, their eyes wide with disbelief, as he strolled down the rock towards the group of Aphrodite's daughters with a —questionable— confidence.

"What the hell are you doing?" Connor yelled, his voice squeaking.

Ignoring his friends' stunned shouts, Luke descended the rocky outcrop towards the sand. "Castellan, you madman!" Chris hollered, his voice a mix of shock and admiration. Luke wasn´t nervous, not exactly. More like a mix of excitement and the thrill of pushing boundaries. His gaze focused on the girl that was declared as his target. You.

With your hair long enough to be braided with endless flowers, and eyes that held the sparkle of the brightest diamond, were oblivious to his approach, your attention consumed by adjusting the straps of your pink bikini, a delicate task that showcased the smooth expanse of your shoulders and the tantalizing dip of your back.

He gently placed his hands on your shoulders, the heat radiating from your sun-kissed skin was intoxicating, the delicate scent of coconut oil amplifying his senses. His fingers, strong and calloused, squeezed gently, sending shivers down your spine.

"Hey, princess" he said, his voice low and playful.

You turned around, smile blooming like a summer flower as you met his gaze. "Luke" you greeted, your voice laced with a hint of surprise.

"Mind if I join you?" he asked with gentle charm.

"Of course" you replied, patting the space beside you on the towel. “Thought you were only gonna stare all day”

“Why?” he asked, not exactly trying to play dumb.

“Let´s just say that they´re a little too obvious” one of your sisters said, pointing with her chin towards the other side of the beach, where Travis, Connor and Chris, still stared at the scene with wide eyes and parted lips.

“Yeah, well” Luke started. “The scenery is definitely something" he admitted, his gaze lingering on yours for a beat too long. "But I´m the one interested in company, not just staring"

One of your sisters raised her view from the magazine she was reading, an approval head nod towards your direction.

"Smooth, Castellan" you cooed, unable to hide the pink blush on your cheeks. "Well done”

Your conversation flowed effortlessly, a mix of lighthearted banter and teasing remarks that only you two fully understood. You spoke of your day as your voices dropped to hushed tones when you exchanged details of your recent secret night encounters, and reminisced about stolen kisses exchanged in the quiet corners of the camp.

He then reached for a slice of pineapple.

"Care for some?" he offered, extending a piece of pineapple towards your mouth.

"Thank you" you said, gracefully taking the fruit between your lips, eyes on him the whole time, still shining even under your dark sunglasses. His thumb caught a bit of your lower lip, secretly wishing he could taste your lips right there and then.

You leaned back, savoring the sweetness of the pineapple and the stolen touch of Luke's finger on you. His gaze held yours, along with a red blush creeping up his neck.

Across the beach, right on the other corner over a hot rock, the Stoll brothers and Chris remained frozen in disbelief, practically jaw slacked.

"D-did he just-?" Travis stutered.

"Touch her?" Connor finished, his own voice thick with shock. "Like they´re friends?"

"Friends?" Chris scoffed. "Is that how you think that friends behave? As if they-"

His sentence was cut short as a giggle, light and mesmerizing, drifted across the water. Their eyes darted back to the scene, where Luke and yn were now engaged in what appeared to be a lively conversation. Luke, the now notorious ladies' man and best swordsman, was leaning in close, his hand resting casually on her lower back. yn, the living proof of cabin 10's grace and beauty, was radiating amusement as her fingers made their way to Luke´s curls.

“Well…” Chris began. “He actually doesn't look half bad talking to her."

"Yeah" Connor conceded, his brow furrowed in thought. "But how? Since when do they know each other and get so-, touchy?"

"Maybe they share some extra classes together" Travis offered, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Like... 'Advanced Flirting Techniques for Demigods' or something."

As the boys focused more about Luke´s flirting technique and less on the girls, your conversation with Luke kept going on and on, still fresh as the fruits you were enjoying, and as exciting as the hot sun crashing into your skin like golden liquid.

"You know," you said, leaving a piece of watermelon back on its place as you whispered, low enough for only you and Luke to hear. "you're not supposed to be here."

Luke tilted his head slightly, feigning innocence. "What do you mean?"

"You're not supposed to be talking to me" you continued, eyes sparkling with mischief. "Not after last night."

A slow grin spread across Luke's face, his eyes twinkling with amusement. He leaned closer, his voice dropping to a husky whisper. "Last night was quite a night, wasn´t it?" he admitted, his breath tickling your ear. "Could you make it better tonight?"

You looked at him with confused eyes. His thumb began to draw circles on your lower back. "Tonight?" you said, feigning innocence. "Do we have plans? I hadn't heard anything about it."

Luke's grin widened. "Well, it´s not like I planned it" he admitted, his voice becoming casual. You knew he has lying, of course he planned it. "But I was hoping you might be interested in meeting again"

"Another meeting, huh?" you repeated, your voice dripping with curiosity. "What kind of meeting are we talking about?"

Luke leaned in closer to your ear. "Does my cabin sound familiar to you?"

Your heart hammered against your ribs, a delicious mix of excitement and apprehension swirling within you. You both knew that sneaking out after curfew was risky, specially into someone else´s cabin, but the thought of spending another stolen night with Luke was simply irresistible.

“That could work” you managed to say. “What else?”

A playful and excited sparkle flickered in his eyes. "Bring something sweet" he whispered, a low rumble emanating from his chest. He momentarily eyed the untouched red strawberries. "Meet me by the west side after everyone's at the campfire. We can enjoy the view and then..." he trailed off, leaving the rest unspoken, his gaze dropping to your lips.

The heat of the sun seemed to intensify, mirroring the warmth rising in your cheeks. "And then?" you prompted, unable to resist teasing him a bit.

"And then," he leaned even closer, his voice barely a breath, "we can continue what we started last night."

Your breath hitched. The memory of his touch, his kisses, sent a wave of desire through you. You knew sneaking out was forbidden, a risk that could lead to serious consequences, but Gods, who cares?

"Alright, big boy" you whispered, a playful smile dancing on your lips before standing up, starting your way into the lake for your own heated situation. “See you later, then"

[michaelwheelerdefiodental]

A topic that nobody asked for (or asked, i don't know), the main gang nemesis on Season 5:

Eleven🖕Linda Hamilton Character:

Yeah i know what you're thinking, "what about Vecna", but just follow me. Linda Hamilton character is apparently a female Brenner, but with actual military experience, so she will be a manipulative scientist like Brenner, this already makes Eleven having a hatred towards her probable. The hand to hand experience that she has can be dangerous for the rest of the gang aswell. Some people probably think it doesn't make sense for her to be throwing hands, but it's Linda Hamilton we are talking about, the OG Sarah Connor, the Duffer Brothers will make her a beast in a fight, both with guns or with her bare hands.

Will🖕Mind Flayer and Vecna (and Lonnie too):

This is why i think Eleven wouldn't have Vecna as her ultimate nemesis. Henry has a lot of similarities with Will as we can see on his flashback, but they ended up as total opposites. And we don't need to talk about Mind Flayer beef with Will, it's kinda embarrasing to be a interdimensional entity and still having the need of tormeting a teenager gay loser.

And there is that bitch ass Loonie too, i don't have anything too say about him.

Mike🖕Unnamed Creature (and Chance):

To start, Mike beef with Chance won't be because of this weird and boring theory that Chance has a crush on Will, but because Chance is the total opposite of Mike, he just follow orders and stay quiet, Mike is someone who wouldn't let anybody dictate what he is supposed to do (there's a post comparing all of the four core with the basketball gang, but i couldn't find it, sorry).

This unnamed creature is probably what was roaring during that scene of Robin, Nancy, Steve and Eddie on the Upside Down. It is probably that monster that Nancy saw on her visions. My bet is that Hopper will probably give that sword for Mike, giving the title of hero to him.

Hopper🖕Sullivan:

What is better than give a tramautized ex-soldier a Colonel as his enemy? It would be pretty much a cycle ending, after he got scarred for life and lost his first daughter because of higher ups that made him help them with war crimes against their enemies, he will end the life of one them that is actually trying to kill his second daughter too.

Dustin🖕Andy:

Some people are kinda of underestimating Andy, if you watch season 4 again you'll see how unhinged he is (i will make a post talking about how much of a threat he can be in this season), besides the fact that he will seek revenge for Jason by attacking the hellfire club ex-members, and Dustin is pretty much using their shirt in most of the paparazzi pics.

Lucas🖕All of the Basketball Team:

He probably is angry at them because of Max situation and they're angry at him because of Jason death. I hope to see some kind of revenge by Lucas part.

Jonathan and Steve🖕This Soldier:

On one way or another we will have a scene of Jonathan and Steve beating some asses together, and this guy seems to be around the age of 25 or a little bit older, so they can pretty much have a showdown against him. This could be that epic scene Jonathan and Steve will share together that the hawkinsfamilyphoto (Chris, a paparazzi) said he would release if he reaches a certain amount of payed members on Twitter/X.

Robin and Vickie🖕Town Folks:

I have this theory that some type of religious cult group will be manipulated by Henry, and they will have something against the whole group and mainly with Will, Mike, Robin and Vickie because of their little secret.

Here's a link for the post talking about this theory:

What about the others?

The rest of the group would have the same enemies as the others, just with less hatred or rivalry against them.

[daniclaytcn]

the ‘sunshine personified’ / ‘he makes everyone around him happy’ thing is sooo interesting because i don’t think we’ve really seen that from buck, have we? and by that i specifically mean in the fanon context of buck being the social PTA dad at all of chris’s school functions while eddie broods in the corner and only wants to talk to buck. if anything, we’ve seen the opposite behavior with eddie — he’s clearly good friends with chris’s friends’ parents, he was so happy and glowy when he first met the 118, he befriended may and linda so easily at dispatch, and i could go on and on.

he just seems to connect with people so easily, and i think a lot of that genuine friendliness is lost on people because he also has a tendency to get casually snarky with people he isn’t so fond of, whether it’s annoying temporary coworkers or selfish people on calls or opportunistic reporters. the same thing goes for his private nature vs. buck’s bleeding heart — it’s assumed that eddie isn’t a people person because he likes to keep his innermost feelings close to his chest and it’s also assumed that buck is good at instantly forming connections bc his feelings spill out of him at all times.

and like. it’s not that buck isn’t a kind and friendly person, but i do feel like his specialty is deep acts of love for the people he loves. idk if i’m articulating this right but i’m trying to point out that he’s never more ‘sunshine personified’ than when he’s with the 118 and co. he would do anything for them and he lights up around them in a way that he doesn’t really do with anyone else. and we haven’t seen him be so casually close to people outside that friend group.

when we got a glimpse of connor and buck’s friendship, it seemed more about what they could do for each other than about true connection. when we got that episode about buck and red, a lot of it was projection on buck’s part re. his fear of abandonment and his desire not to let his future turn out like red’s and it was also about his need to fix things for everyone else so he can feel like he’s needed. when he met lucy, he was desperate to fill a void and not feel as hollow as he felt going home to taylor kelly every night with his sister and his brother in law and his partner gone.

don’t get me wrong, i’m not trying to ascribe selfish motivations to buck bc i do believe he always tries to do the right thing, but when it comes to people outside of the 118, with the way it’s been written in canon, i feel like those dynamics have always been more about his own issues than they’ve been about actual friendship. and this isn’t even getting into how he acts when he feels like someone new is encroaching on his territory (see: eddie in 2x01 and lena). idk….i just think that kind of casual connection comes so much easier to eddie for whatever reason. maybe it’s because his abandonment issues are a whole other flavor, or because eddie’s upbringing was so different from buck’s. either way, it’s so interesting and ppl blinded by fanon are really missing out. i apologize for the long ass rambling and i don’t think i really articulated this well, so TL;DR — fanon sunshine buck and broody eddie do not exist in canon and i’m Very excited to see the way that mr. possessive, jealous, broody evan buckley acts when eddie meets someone new this week :)

no, you're so right about all of this, though! buck genuinely does light up and is at his most comfortable and golden retriever-like around the 118, because he sees them as family and trusts them so much—and i think people get carried away and attribute the same thing to everything else (like, for example, the social PTA dad thing). when in canon, buck on multiple occasions has not dealt with new people too well—whether it was eddie, or lena, or ravi...and now, as it looks like, tommy. and you kinda hit the nail on the head about how most of buck's relationships outside the 118 being very transactional in nature up to this point, it's sad, but it's true.

eddie is the complete opposite in this regard, though, like, the guy goes around collecting new friends like they're pokemon. lol. he is so wildly different to the fandom portrayal of him as this anti-social loner that i struggle with understanding how people even got there in the first place (i mean, i know why. but still).

anyway, buck's issues with jealousy and insecurity are sooo interesting to delve into as character flaws and so much more compelling than fandom's portrayal of him as a perfect angel baby who's never done anything wrong, but 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️ at least i have canon giving me the stuff i want lol

[reedeemable]

You know in the Interrogation how Gavin makes no attempt to help Chris handle/control Shaolin? I wonder if he doesn't do so because he's

1. Not bothered/not his job

or 2. Is actually afraid of Shaolin because despite being handcuffed, Shaolin is an android who has killed a human and not only killed but has done so in a brutal manner (not saying Carlos didn't deserve it, definitely did but still though)

Gavin being afraid does make sense given how as soon as Shaolin can grab a firearm, Gavin is one of the first ones in the room to quickly hide.

But if Gavin is afraid, his attitude towards Connor doesn't really make sense because not only is Connor an android but an android designed for police work, which would make Connor even more of a threat then Shaolin.

The only way Gavin wouldn't be scared of Connor is

A. Connor's design to blend in society and appear welcoming is working as Gavin doesn't really consider him to be strong/a force to be reckoned with

or B. Gavin is scared of him but his bravado won't allow him to show it so instead of cowering, he does the opposite and talks down to Connor, acts physical towards him (by punching him/knocking him in the shoulder) and even when Connor does what he wants, still being rude and a smartass to him.

Idk, I'm just thinking about it because it does interest me why Chris is the only one who hands Shaolin. Even Hank doesn't get involved.

He still hates androids at that point so maybe, like Gavin, he doesn't give enough of a shit to help in any capacity, or he is a bit afraid as well because if Shaolin does grab a gun, Hank ducks as well.

[and-then-there-were-n0ne]

Below is a piece on mating psychology I wrote for Onn Health. It is aimed primarily at (heterosexual) men, yet the insights offered here are broadly applicable to everyone.

The two most powerful predictors of happiness and life satisfaction are working in the right profession and finding the right spouse.

You can commit a lot of blunders in your life, but if you manage to get two things right, you will maximize your chance of long-term wellbeing.

Our choice of job and our choice of spouse are central to our happiness because they are where we spend most of our lives—at work and with our families. Therefore, we should devote a good deal of time concentrating on how to make the best possible decision for these two sources of potential happiness. Indeed, making the wrong choice can lead to potential misery.

Interestingly, much of modern advice prioritizes education and career, often relegating relationships to a secondary concern or valuing them primarily for their potential to enhance career ambitions.

Relationships, though, are critical for our health and wellbeing. Studies have found that the effect of poor relationship quality on mortality is as strong as the effects of better-known risk factors, such as smoking and alcohol use, and even stronger than other important factors, such as sedentariness and obesity.

For those who are focused on their careers, choosing the right partner can fuel occupational success. For instance, people with conscientious romantic partners tend to report higher job satisfaction and income, and are more likely to be promoted. This pattern held even after controlling for the study participants’ own conscientiousness. A disciplined and hard-working romantic partner can help us succeed in our own careers.

Indeed, there are examples of well-known men and the women who have helped them in their journeys:

Mr Beast:

“I have someone who I think is very beautiful, very intelligent, makes me better, is constantly pushing me, is okay with me working hard, makes me smarter. And just all these different things. For me, love just makes me a better person.”

Connor McGregor:

“My girlfriend worked very hard throughout the years and stuck by me when I had essentially absolutely nothing. I only had a dream that I was telling her.”

Chris Bumstead:

“She just built this confidence in me… It was a really important moment for my personal growth, champion growth, relationship growth.”

Warren Buffett:

“Susie really put me together. She believed in me. She got me to believe in myself, and that changed my life.” “And I would not only have not turned out to be the person I turned out to be, but I actually wouldn’t have been as successful in business without that. She made me more of a whole person.”

These examples show only one side of the story. In healthy relationships, both partners are expected to receive net benefits and grow.

Research in evolutionary and social psychology has illuminated key findings that help us to understand how people choose mates, as well as the factors that predict relationship success.

George Vaillant, former director of the multigenerational Harvard Study of Adult Development, has noted that “warm, intimate relationships are the most important prologue to a good life.”

Warm relationships supply benefits to both happiness and health.

How do people go about choosing mates? In popular culture, we often hear two different adages when it comes to relationship formation: Opposites attract, and birds of a feather flock together.

The former might make for a good romantic comedy. But in the real world, people tend to mate assortatively. We generally favor romantic partners who are similar to ourselves.

This is especially true for education and intelligence. In the U.S., for example, if your highest level of education is a high school diploma, your probability of marrying a college graduate is only nine percent. In contrast, if you hold a college degree, your probability of marrying a fellow college graduate is sixty-five percent. Interestingly, though, couples’ similarity in intelligence does not seem to predict relationship satisfaction.

Beyond education, we also tend to choose romantic partners who are similar to ourselves in terms of age, political orientation, religious affiliation, and socioeconomic status.

Does similarity predict stronger relationship satisfaction? The answer seems to be no. A meta-analysis concluded that “similarity had very little effect on satisfaction.” This doesn’t mean, of course, that similarity is meaningless for romantic satisfaction. More likely, similarity is necessary but not sufficient for romantic satisfaction. That is, while similarity does not guarantee relationship satisfaction, strong dissimilarities might be “deal-breakers” that would contribute to discontent. Your romantic partner holding the same political beliefs as you doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll be 100% satisfied with each other; but if they take the opposite stance on every view you hold, there’s a strong chance that relationship wouldn’t last very long.

So what does predict relationship satisfaction?

One factor seems to be authenticity. A team of psychologists found that the link between authenticity in relationships and relationship satisfaction is very strong. For instance, people who strongly agreed with statements such as “I share my deepest thoughts with my partner even if there’s a chance he/she won’t understand them” reported being particularly happy in their relationships. Interestingly, the study found that authentic people tended to mate with other authentic people, whereas deceptive individuals tend to attract deceptive partners. This seems to be another example of assortative mating, whereby people find themselves in relationships with partners similar to themselves.

What else besides authenticity predicts relationship satisfaction? A 2016 paper in Evolution and Human Behavior, authored by Daniel Conroy-Beam, Cari D. Goetz, and David Buss explored what makes people happy in their relationships. They discovered that people were less satisfied in relationships when their partners were less desirable compared to other potential choices. However, this was specifically the case for individuals who were more attractive than their partners. That is, people were satisfied with mates who were either more attractive than themselves, or more attractive than alternative choices. In short, when people were with partners who were attractive and hard to replace, then they were more likely to be satisfied. It seems that people aren’t asking themselves, “Does my partner fulfill my relationship needs?” Rather, they ask “Is my partner better than the realistic alternatives?” We aren’t gauging on some objective rubric. Rather, we grade our partners on a curve, comparing them to others we could reasonably hope to pair with.

This gets to the question of how we should approach searching for a compatible mate. An important idea from decision theory that can assist with this is known as the 37% rule, or “the secretary problem.” Suppose you’re looking for the best candidate for a secretary position (or any other job). The rule says that you should estimate how many total applicants are likely to seek the position, interview the first 37 percent of them, and remember the best out of that initial sample. Then, continue interviewing until you find a candidate who is even better than that. Once you find that better candidate, hire him or her. That is how you select the optimal candidate.

The problem with this rule is that it takes a lot of time and energy, especially if you are faced with a large number of possible candidates. You can’t realistically date 37% of all women you might possibly be interested in, and then keep going until you find someone more compatible than the best in that batch. However, researchers have found that a similar rule called “Try a Dozen” can work just as well as the 37% rule. According to this simpler approach, you would date a dozen possible romantic partners, remember the best of them, and then pick the very next prospect who is even more appealing to you. Of course, this is just a theoretical model that sheds light on the challenges of trying to optimize a difficult decision. It has many shortcomings and is not necessarily applicable to all individuals in all circumstances.

Many men try to get the hottest possible partner they can find. But this can present its own problems. As David Buss has said, ��Mates, once gained, must be retained.” An average guy might manage to get a few dates with a supermodel. But the supermodel’s array of potential alternative options can introduce potential instability into the relationship. This can lead to jealousy, increased mate guarding, warding off potential romantic rivals, increased stress, heated arguments, and so on.

Of course, the reverse is not ideal. Entering a relationship with someone who is noticeably less attractive than you can give rise to dissatisfaction, conflict, and a wandering eye as you consider possible alternatives. The ideal situation, as Buss says, is “when both people feel lucky to be with the other person.” Of course, if your current pool of mates you could reasonably hope to attain is less attractive than you’d like, there is a simple option: Become more attractive yourself. For appearance, keep up on personal grooming and hygiene; improve your health and fitness; buy clothes that are stylish and fit well; get a good haircut. As a man, you can also level up your attractiveness by earning a promotion at work, switching to a higher paying position, or seeking a cool side job (bartenders, musicians, and volunteer firefighters don’t get paid like surgeons but still appeal to many women).

Many people have noticed that young people are unrealistically expected to know what career they will pursue at the age of 18 or 22. Seldom does anyone point out that the same logic applies to long-term romantic commitment. Interestingly, while there is a lot of guidance for how to choose a good career, far less support is available for choosing the right spouse.

Choosing a mate is not just choosing a mate. It’s also casting a vote for who you will be and who your children will be. [...]

Mate choice also profoundly influences children. If you have kids, your partner’s genetics will significantly influence their intelligence (at least 60% heritable), personality traits (more than 40% heritable), and mental health (more than 30% heritable). And as I cover extensively in my book, healthy, stable relationships benefit children. Having a partner who contributes to such a relationship will be instrumental in your child’s development and wellbeing. 

Given the importance of marriage in a man’s life, it is crucial to choose a compatible spouse. Knowing which qualities to avoid and which to seek out can save you from future emotional and perhaps financial ruin.

People often focus on attributes they would like in a partner, but it is perhaps even more important to know which characteristics to avoid. “Red flags,” in common parlance. [...]

Smith offers a quote in another of his books, The Tactical Guide to Women, “Look for the red flags early in the relationship. If anything pops up early on, don’t let that slide. Most people are on their best behavior in the beginning. They hide it well until around the six-month mark. For example, if she gets drunk and is screaming at you for no reason within the first month, run as fast as you can. Don’t let something like that slide. There are underlying issues there.” This doesn’t mean that they are a bad person or unworthy of love or anything like that. But drinking and yelling is a sign that such a person might not be ideal for a long-term relationship commitment.

What about beneficial traits, or so-called “green flags?”

Smith suggests seeking clarity, maturity, and stability in a potential mate.

Anybody can communicate well when they and the relationship are at their best. Clarity, though, encompasses reliable communication and the ability to communicate during stormy periods. [...] Good relationships require that both partners express themselves constructively, especially during times of stress.

Relatedly, inquisitiveness is an important skill. It cuts through ambiguities and insecurities. Within a relationship, if one person behaves in an insensitive manner, a sign of inquisitiveness would be if his or her partner, rather than expressing anger, calmly asks why and listens. This can open the path to communication and understanding, rather than mutually escalating hostilities. [..]

Emotional maturity is another green flag. Some signs of this skill: She can calm herself when she’s sad or angry, she accepts reality, she keeps commitments, she takes care of relationships and doesn’t burn bridges, she bases important decisions on values rather than impulse, and she possesses the emotional resources to function well among coworkers, family, and friends.

Stability, another positive quality, indicates that a woman handles her personal challenges and cares for herself so that her life (and yours) isn’t a series of crises. As Smith puts it, a woman “who is unwilling to strive for her best state of mental health is unlikely to succeed in relationships.” [...]

This perspective on relationships underscores the importance of mutual support and shared growth. The notion of the “special woman” and “special man” transcends the conventional understanding of romantic partnerships, emphasizing a deeper, more harmonious connection. This link is not solely about love or attraction or sex; it is about finding a partner who understands, encourages, and participates in your life journey. Such a relationship becomes a crucible for personal and professional development, where both individuals are not just companions but co-architects of a shared future.

[optimistredsox]

28 July, BOS @ SF, 3-2, win

That was weird and intense, sort of like this season. Full disclosure, the Giants are my NL team. So I like it when they do well in their league. However, when the Red Sox face them, I want to Red Sox to smush them to goo. In a baseball-y kind of way. So in that sense, last night was good. Because we won, which is the baseball-y way of smushing someone into goo. It felt like a good win, too, as it was against a good team and it was close. Usually in this part of my recaps I worry about all the bad stuff from the night before and the team in general but I just don’t have that anxiety today. I’m not even that concerned about Masa Yoshida having an 0-fer. Why? Because there are plenty of bright sides.

Kutter Crawford (real name, honest) was once again impressive, going five and two-thirds, giving up one run, three hits, a walk and striking out seven. Remember some of his disasters early in the season? If you can’t, good. Don’t dwell on that shit. Live in this lovely moment where he’s doing good work. 

Justin Turner, the Ginger Gandalf, had an 0-fer, BUT, he made the defensive play of the game at second base in the bottom of the seventh. With two men on he snagged a grounder up the middle and managed a backhand glove flip to Yu Chang to get the force out and prevent the run from scoring. That run would have been the tying run. And there were no outs, so it would have been a tying run scoring with two men back on the bases and it may well have deflated the Sox. I’m harping on this and jazzed by it because perennial purveyor of dipshit takes, Dan Shaughnessy of the Boston Globe, decided to crap on everyone’s Red Sox joy and claim they should trade Turner (citing his playing second base in particular) and Paxton and basically everyone making this season worth watching to “build for the future” even though we have a winning record and the Sox are actually fun to watch right now. Well Justin Turner playing second saved the fucking day you miserable grumpy bastard, and I can only hope that Chaim Bloom uses your column as toilet paper.

Tristan Casas was responsible for 2 of the Red Sox three runs. He knocked Adam Duvall in in the top of the second on a double over Mike Yastrzemski’s head. Then in the fifth, after fouling a brutal inside pitch off his shin, launched an improbable opposite field dinger to centre left, pretty deep into the stands. All the folks in the commentary boxes who might’ve hit at Oracle Park during their playing career were in awe as apparently it takes some fucking power and precision and skill to get a ball that far there. I wouldn’t know. I’d consider myself lucky if I managed to hit a t-ball out of the infield. But way to go, Tristan. He went 2-for-4 with two RBIs.

Adam Duvall also went 2-for-4. And he scored that run that Tristan knocked him in on.

Rob Refsnyder continues to do what he’s supposed to, coming on to pinch hit in the eighth and lining a laser to left that scored Connor Wong. That was the winning run. Way to go, Rob!

Aside from a brief hiccup from Chris Martin (not the Coldplay one) in the eighth and including Winckowski getting out of a jam in the seventh (with aforementioned help from the Ginger Gandalf), the bullpen was solid and continue to impress. Again, winning when they’re good is important, because we probably lose the ones where they slip. 

We won!

The Yankees lost which means we’re TWO games ahead of them.

Let’s win again tonight!

[quietquaking]

Superfam Edition

Members:

- backstory if applicable

- religion if applicable

- hc’s

- mental illnesses/neurodivergencies

- gender/sexuality/pronouns

- bday

- age

- height

Clark Kent

- loosely jewish

- everyone thinks superman is scary

- and that kent is a sweet clutz

- clark himself is really a sassy bundle of golden retriever fluff

- loves homemade cookies

- honestly i think he’s legit neurotypical, but he really vibes with audhd people

- definitely demisexual

- bday: aug 18, 1975

- age: 45

- 6’3

Kon-El/Chris Kent

- luthor created two (successful) clones, but conner wasn’t found till tim-robin era

- as jewish as one can be without actually practicing

- the black t-shirt outfit

- mostly nt, probably a lil autistic

- straight but takes maybe 2 shots to not be anymore

- bday: mar 21 2004 (born 13 physically)

- age: 29

- 6’1

Kon-El/Connor Kent

- luthor created two clones, but conner wasn’t found till tim-robin era

- jewish ideas, but no particular attachment to the religion

- the cool 90’s outfit

- singular lobe piercing+helix cuff (opposite sides)

- definitely adhd, possibly bipolar

- he/him, gay

- bday: july 7 2016 (born physically 13)

- age: 17

- 6’1

Kara Zor-El

- went to live in the future

- originally a very stereotypical teen girl, except she’s from krypton’s solar system and can fly and stuff

- she/her, bisexual

- like 5’7

Jon Lane-Kent

- loosely jewish

- an absolute sweetheart

- gets kinda sassy with damien

- forever the little brother figure

- loves homemade cookies

- is he adhd or just a preteen? who knows

- he/him pansexual

- bday: june 13, 2009

- age: 11

- max height like 6’2

Bizarro

- not rlly part of the fam/relevant

Lois

- Clark’s ex-wife, still very much a part of the family

- mother/mother figure to all the kids

- badass bitch

- everyone is scared of her including all the bats

- she/they bisexual

- bday: april 17, 1981

- age: 39

- 5’5

Pets

- Krypto

my personal Batfam headcanons-updated to include languages, birthdays, and a few extra notes!

Languages

*reading/listening

**speaking

writing

All:

- English

- ASL

- Arabic

- Mandarin

Alfred

- rough German**

- French

- rusty Russian

- Urdu

- BSL

- lil bit of Gaelic**

Bruce:

- French**

- easily fluent Russian

- Latin

- Urdu

- basic Nepali**

- BSL

Dick:

- German**

- some forms of Japanese*

Babs:

- Cantonese

- Japanese

Jason:

- French*

- basic Latin

- Turkish

- easily fluent Spanish

Steph:

- Urdu

- Pashto**

Cass: (understands/writes)

- Russian*

- Pashto

- Cantonese

Tim:

- German**

- Latin

- Pashto

- lil bit of Gaelic* from alfred

Damian:

- German**

- Russian

- Urdu

- Pashto

- Nepali

- Japanese

- Spanish

Members

- backstory/hero history (opt)

- job (opt)

- hc’s

- mental illnesses/neurodivergencies

- gender/sexuality/pronouns

- race

- bday

- age

- height

Alfred Pennyworth

- born 1925, accidentally drank from a Lazarus pit in ‘88, has been bouncing around the globe fucking with Ra’s since then

- well actually bruce’s parents died right around then so he had to take care of him, didn’t notice he wasn’t aging until early 1990’s

- perpetually like 63

- has an extensive history in secret service and espionage

- sassy bastard

- the real man of the house

- was definitely sleeping with both elder waynes (late 1960’s-mid 80’s)

- they had bruce in ‘80 (in their early 40’s) died late 80s

- Bday: aug 16, 1925

- age: ??

- 5’10 ish

Bruce Wayne

- actually a disaster

- has acting stupid down to a science

- and fear tactics as batman

- radiates either boyfriend and father vibes depending on the person

- slight british accent when he’s tired/relaxed thanks to alfred (jl flipped the fuck out when they heard it)

- probably autistic tbh, used to live life in perpetual panic attacks

- he/him, disaster bi

- jewish by race, not religion

- bday: april 7, 1980 (late millennial)

- age: 40

- 5’11

Dick Grayson

- ex robin, now nightwing

- cop/detective

- at least proficient in all gymnastics-type activities (tramp, bar, beam, silks, ballet, ballroom, and more)

- floor routines/flippy shit and trapeze are his specialities

- anxiety galore (being on the trapeze calms him)

- he/him, bi

- Romani (not at all connected to it tho)

- Bday: march 20, 1992 (early millennial)

- age: 28

- 5’9

Barbara Gordon

- ex batgirl, now Oracle

- mostly paralyzed from the waist down bc joker shot in the base of the spine

- computer hacker

- just does oracle stuff and helps her dads with cases

- Commissioner Gordon’s foster daughter

- ADHD probably

- she/her, pan

- white

- Bday: sep 23, 1994 (early millennial)

- age: 26

- 5’9 when standing, 4’4 (?) in the chair

Jason Todd

- ex robin, now red hood

- he’s a teacher! honestly any grade works

- died and came back. fucking lazarus pits.

- has the white streak goddamnit

- everyone is scared of him but it turns out he’s actually a sweetheart who loves to bake

- he puts on a tough face but he actually cries really easily and frequently. that’s part of why he wears the full-face mask- no one can see the way his face twists when he’s disguising the difference in his voice, or the tears leaking out from under the domino

- alfred and jason share a bday, so he always comes to the manor to see him, even if he’s currently a villain

- ex theater kid lmao

- absolutely wears reading glasses, not many people know that

- swears in a variety of languages thanks to the loa

- some blend of adhd/autism but he’s so entrenched in masking that he really doesn’t know anymore

- any pronouns, doesn’t care about labels

- some kind of (south american?) mixed race, no one’s quite sure what (including himself)

- Bday: aug 16 1997 (technically gen-z)

- age: 23

- 6’1

Timothy Drake

- ex robin, now red robin

- helps run Wayne Ind.

- owns Red Robin restaurant chain

- sleep-deprived coffee-addict

- seriously someone please get this kid to a bed before he passes out standing up again.

- autistic

- he/him non-binary, bi

- pale ass white thing

- Bday: july 19 2003

- age: 17

- 5’5 (max 5’6)

Stephanie Brown

- cluemaster’s daughter- became Spoiler to fight him

- ex robin (brief)

- bounces between various coffee shop jobs before getting a job in a nice restaurant and eventually rising to be top of waitstaff

- loves purple

- ADHD magpie

- she/xe but really any pronouns, lesbian

- white

- Bday: aug 11 2002

- age: 18

- 6’0

Cassandra Cain

- used to be Orphan, then batgirl for a hot minute, now she’s Black Bat

- daughter of cain (batman villain, not the biblical figure. looking at you, spn)

- trained to be an assassin from a young age

- designer for Wayne Ind.

- mute cause her dad fucked up her vocal cords, but she was mostly nonverbal before that anyway

- badass and yet adorable

- adhd/autistic

- she/they/it, demi lesbian

- chinese

- Bday: Jan 26, 2003

- age: 17

- 5’4

Damian Wayne

- robin

- bruce’s only bio son (talia r*ped him)

- bruce does make him go to school, but lets him choose between private and public (he chooses private to keep up appearances)

- i feel like he’d be a librarian eventually

- raised traditional european/middle eastern until he was ten, is very proper and very stabby

- also has earlobe piercings from early childhood

- plays violin cuz i said so

- very very autistic but refuses to acknowledge it for a while (would have been diagnosed with asperger’s in the past)

- he/they, agender, demi and gay

- spanish/middle eastern blend (unclear what exactly, Ra’s’ original country probably doesn’t even exist anymore)

- bday: jan 5, 2007

- age: 13

- 5’1 (max 5’10)

Duke Thomas

- The Signal

- has powers from a genetic variation

- moves through light and shadow

- a cinnamon roll

- not super connected to the fam but always friendly and always welcome in the household

- audhd

- he/she (still a boy)

- black

- bday: aug 13, 2001

- age: 19

- 5’10

Harley Quinn

- went to med school with bruce! since figuring that out they’ve actually been close

- such a fuckin mess of mental illnesses lmao

- doesn’t remember her original race, now her skin is just sheer white

- bday: july 20, 1982

- age: 38

- 5’5 ish

Ivy (Pamela)

- she’s shy so she doesn’t actually show up much but she’s still part of the family

- she grows the weed, harley sells it

- race? she’s green and an orphan, idk what to tell you

- intense social anxiety and rejection-sensitivity

- bday: may 14, 1979

- age: 41

- 5’8

Bonus

- Kate

- Harper

- Selina? on occasion ig

Pets

- Ace the bathound (B’s)

- Titus the greyhound (Dami’s)

- Batcow (Dami’s)

- Alfred the cat (Dami’s)

- Goliath (Dami’s)

- Steve the samoyed (Dami’s)

- Goldy the goldfish (Steph’s)

- Jason Jr. the frog (Jason’s)

- Lacey the orange tabby cat (Dick’s)

- Edwardina and family, the ducks that now live in the pond in the garden (Dami+Alfred’s)

- William Snakespeare (Dami+Jason’s)

[dirt-grub]

headcanon that is a huge stretch but I don’t care- Dan hates being called Danny because its close to Dani which is too feminine a nickname 

[stagefoureddiediaz]

Going to wade into the Bucks Red umbrella conversation going on, because I have thoughts!! @leothil wrote this brilliant post connecting all the umbrella sightings in season 6 and @usercowboy made this post which is also amazing.

I agree that the umbrella seems to be showing us the line in the sand where Buck will ultimately stand - on the same side as Chris (and by extension the Buckley-Diaz family of it all) and on the opposite side from Connor. That whatever is about to go down in the sperm donor arc, will lead to a break of some sort.

The thing that I want to add - that plays into the idea of family and parenthood and raising a child is 5x18 starting over - the only time (I can remember) we’ve seen that umbrella opened - in a scene where Maddie and Buck have a conversation about what love actually is etc etc. but most importantly a conversation about brain injury and missing or losing out and making the same mistakes over and over again. 

Now obviously that scene is very much about Maddie realising what she’s missing out on with Chimney by not starting over with him and fully parenting their child together etc. But it’s also a scene between two siblings who’ve had a black hole in their lives in terms of parental experiences and who have been there for each other in the difficult times and offered the other protection from whatever storms they’ve been facing. As Bia says - Umbrellas are things that can be used for protection and it being open for this scene - where Maddie, who for all intents and purposes raised Buck and was a parent to him just adds weight to both the idea of the Buckley siblings protecting each other, as well as the concept of Buck coparenting Chris - of him recognising that that is what he is doing and that ultimately it is the most important thing- in the same way we’ve seen Buck inthe last couple of seasons realising and understanding the full extent of how and why it was Maddie who raised him (and I’d argue coming to full understanding and acceptance of that in 6x11 when the Buckleys are taking over and redecorating his loft (and thats why I think we see it in the background of those scenes Frida!)) and embracing it 

Anyway yeah this isn’t coherent at all, but  that Red umbrella is a big signal to us and I’m fascinated by its use!!!

[shelterforananimal]

Ghost hockey headcanons bc I’m combining my hyperfixation and special interest okay? The player comparisons probably tell you that I’m a Devils fan. Under a read more because it got long.

Dew - star center. He’s got the kind of flair that the commentators would get salty and call him a show-off for (think Trevor Zegras). People thought he’d be too small to take the hits and protect himself, but he’s actually one of the toughest players in the league. Not afraid to fight, and very good at it. Connor McDavid type speed, quick boy.

Aether - defenseman. First line with Rain. Great 200-ft player. Offensive defenseman. Slapshots 24/7. Commentators are always calling him a “big body”. Big hits, but a huge goofball at the same time. Loves to laugh and joke with the team, and even opponents when he can. Dougie Hamilton vibes.

Rain - defenseman. First line with Aether. Ultra-precise. Incredible stickhandling. Beast in the defensive and neutral zones, but sometimes gets overwhelmed in the offensive zone. When he gets flustered, he makes some mistakes (i.e. passing when he has an open lane for a shot). When he’s not flustered, he’s completely untouchable. Wicked wristers. Think Connor Bedard when Rain is being confident.

Mountain - goalie. Calm most of the time, barely shows it outwardly when he is frustrated. Moderately superstitious. Does the thing where he squirts water into the air and watches it fall to focus himself. Biggest weakness is his upper left. Doesn’t venture out of the goal much. Pretty much opposite of MA Fleury. Maybe more like a Jake Oettinger.

Swiss - center. Second line with Cirrus and Cumulus. Used to be first line until Dew took his spot. He used to be a little bitter about it, but now he’s just happy to be winning. Even showier than Dew, though he makes more mistakes trying to be so. Ironically better for assists than goals. Switches between positions when they shuffle the lines, sometimes on either wing. Has even filled in as a defenseman a few times.

Cumulus - right wing. Second line with Cirrus and Swiss. Their line is one of the most dangerous in the league, especially when they’re in the zone. Never misses a rebound. Great at screening the goalie. Not afraid to get into the crowd in front of the net, or a scrum on the ice. Chris Kreider “big jet, no pilot” vibes on occasion.

Cirrus - left wing. Second line with Cumulus and Swiss. Deflection goals all day. Even more dangerous on wrap-around goals. Has an almost telepathic link with Cumulus and always knows exactly where she is to land a pass right on her tape. Fantastic hockey IQ - always two plays ahead of everyone else. Think second-season Jack Hughes.

Sunshine - defenseman. Second line. Small but she packs a punch. Underestimated at first, but lays some of the hardest hits in the division. Hangs back at the blue line to keep the puck in the offensive zone when the opponent tries to fire it out. Fantastic at blocking shots, not afraid to throw herself down to do so. Relatively strong Ryan Graves vibes.

Copia/Papa - coach. Used to be a second-line center before retirement. Level-headed. Not one for yelling, but will scold the team if they’re making stupid mistakes. Believes in positive reinforcement and dishes out lots of encouragement. Probably the opposite of Alain Vigneault.

[marcusrobertobaq]

If CyberLife used very damaged androids, a lot of the androids from the evidence room would be in CyberLife instead and would be useless 'em being stored in the room cuz "Connor wasn't checking the evidence at the time". It's actually the opposite logic: CyberLife wants the deviants "alive" or intact for study - and the only one we can actually be succesful is Ortiz's android. They wouldn't do anything with extremely damaged androids.

It's the same issue i got with the cops for some reason storing a very damaged Daniel for months as "evidence" but shooting Markus and throwing him in a landfill where it was an obvious case of deviancy - which, coming from the logic DPD ain't incompetent, matches previous cases of aggression they've been receiving reports. And since Connor was already assigned by that point would make sense they storing for the new investigators to take a look.

"Ah, but Connor wasn't present at Carl's house", cuz Connor was called (for some reason) to Ortiz's crime scene, he can't be in 2 places at the same time and alone without a supervisor cuz... paperwork. And since the case there was "solved", the cops just closed the case after "killing" Markus and no more investigation (and if Markus case wasn't a "weird behavior" one then it wouldn't be in Hank's terminal marked as potential android weird behavior case). Why?

Also cops still take things to the evidence room if we ain't present, which is the case with Capitol Park where we don't visit as Connor but we can see evidence in the room. "Ah, but by this time in the story the rebellion is already public and that's why they collect evidence", then why tf they ain't supposed to be incompetent but are collecting evidence only later in the game (when shit already hit the fan) even tho we got police presence before (what would justify saving evidence and making reports since they're first responders)? Which is the case cuz Chris receives notification about a potential location Kara was last seen (an obvious android "weird behavior" case) and warn the investigators while cops are already on scene patrolling, and that means they're already involved and assisting the investigation before Markus makes his speech so doesn't make sense they saving things only after the speech - that ain't how shit works.

So, by logic, Kara, Alice and Markus would have to end up in the evidence room if they got destroyed (or sent to CyberLife if not too damaged/alive) during Connor's assignment since DPD ain't supposed to be incompetent and they've been making weird behavior reports for months prior Act 2, the same way they store Daniel there even tho the official investigation starts when Connor gets assigned cuz there ain't no proof someone was investigating androids behavior before beyond noting down complaints.

Throwing Markus away when he was evidence of a similar weird shit that been happening for some months according to reports, one of them being live on TV 3 months earlier, was a terrible decision even if they didn't know CyberLife started an investigation with the DPD - which coming from the logic DPD ain't incompetent they should know cuz they've been keeping an eye on android reports since Daniel's. They made the fucking report in Markus case, it was "weird behavior", just leave in the evidence room like Daniel. The same terrible decision where cops ain't got the power of temporarilly asking to block a highway for 10 minutes to retreive android evidence (Connor wouldn't have issues doing that), which if i'm being honest they're probably just with some dents if i had to judge by Connor's scaleform, cuz other androids such as Daniel, Rupert and even one of the Tracis are in very bad shape and they're in the room, so there ain't no reason to not store in the room. "Ah, but Jericho" - how tf would they know which android knows about Jericho or not? Yeah, they wouldn't unless THEY REVIEWED THE FUCKING EVIDENCE. But wtf is even Jericho in Act 2 pt 1? He doesn't know SHIT about it.

It's easy going for "plot convenience" (and cut content), the issue is i'm interested in an in-game solution.

And the easiest in-game solution is saying there ain't no space to put everything there xD but that wouldn't make sense cuz, by logic, Kara, Alice and Markus would come before androids such as Rupert, the Tracis and the JB.

Whats the in-game reason we ain't got Kara and Alice in the evidence room if they die during On the Run? Too dangerous to retrieve the "body" on te highway? You're telling me DPD can't ask to someone so the automatic cars to stop temporarily to get Kara's body? And y'all want me to believe DPD care about androids or the deviancy cases?

Or the hit is that brutal nothing is left behind? And yet we got Daniel in the evidence room even tho mf fell from a penthouse 🤷🏾‍♂️

It's already dumb we lost an entire choice group about Kara during Amanda Garden's subscene cuz someone fucked up and somehow got the scripts to always return false for Kara being alive after Stormy 🙄

[tressasinterlude]

𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐓 #𝟑: Female Public Figures Dating Men with Questionable Views That Contradict Their Image & Alleged Politics

𝗗𝗜𝗦𝗖𝗟𝗔𝗜𝗠𝗘𝗥: These rant blog posts are really just reflective of my thoughts at the time that I make them and are posted here because I need an outlet to release all of this shit I have going on my busy ass mind. That’s it and that’s all. Now let’s get into it..

This rant was greatly inspired by none other than Ms. Robyn Rihanna “Tell Your Faves To Pull Up [in regards to social injustices directly affecting black people]” Fenty and her openly colorist boyfriend, A$AP Rocky. Aside from the fact that Rihanna tends to slip under the radar and is never held accountable for her problematic ways due to her conventional beauty (i.e. Her heavy usage of anti-Asian slurs, particularly targeted towards Chris Brown’s ex gf, Karrueche), it’s very alarming that a woman who has an entire makeup brand with a campaign based around the inclusivity of ALL black women is publicly flaunting a beau who once said that DSBW do not look good with red lipstick.

And yes, I’m very much aware that Rakim said this tasteless comment over 8 years ago but from the looks of it, not much has really changed with him. Don’t @ me about it neither because I don’t care.

Also peep how he compares a hypothetical darkskinned woman to a man (Wesley Snipes) while trying to explain how his antiblackness isn’t wrong because he said something about white women as well. Gaslighting at its finest. Don’t you just love it! 😀

Furthermore, you would think that somebody of Rihanna’s level of stature would know not to associate themselves with someone as messy as A$AP Rocky but... Stupid is what stupid does, I guess! I can’t even begin to place the blame on him anymore because he’s revealed his true colors and we all have made the deliberate choice to either accept it or don’t and have discontinued all support for him. Unfortunately, misogynoir is never the dealbreaker for most people and the hatred for [dark-skinned] black women is so engrained in society that it’s frowned upon when we publicly speak out against it. Very ass backwards if you ask me but that’s society for you. Now, enough about that. Let’s focus back on Ms. Vita La Coco.

As a woman who claims to be a girl’s girl and is always presenting herself to be someone who is the epitome of a pro-black feminist bad ass, it just makes her alleged activism come off so disingenuous when she’s also laying down with the same man that actively attacks the demographic she’s supposed to be standing in solidarity with. It’s “Black Lives Matter” on the IG posts but your vagina is getting moist for a man who openly stated he doesn’t relate to what goes on in Ferguson because he lives in Soho & Beverly Hills. Ferguson being the exact place where a 17-year-old black boy’s lifeless corpse laid on the hot concrete for FOUR hours after he was murdered by a police officer. He couldn’t 'relate' to the fate of so many black men, women, and children who are murdered or seriously injured from state-sanctioned violence because they’re poor and he is not or so he thought.

But then again, what can I really expect from a woman who identified as being “biracial” until as recent as roughly 6 years ago? What can I really expect from a woman who called Rachel Dolezal a ‘hero’ for cosplaying as a black woman? I’d be lying if I said my expectations for her were high in this regard because sis has always shown us she was lacking in this department. And just for the record, this is not a personal attack on Rihanna at all for the die-hard Navy stans in the back. I admire her latest fashions and bop my head to her music just like the next person but she’s getting the side-eye from me on this one.

Trust and believe me though, she’s not the only woman who I can call out for being a hypocrite. Of course not! This stone can be cast at a few others. So without further ado, why don’t we bring Ms. Kehlani Parrish to the front of the congregation? Prior to Kehlani’s recent declaration of identifying as a lesbian, her last public relationship with a man was with YG. Yes, the same YG who felt it was necessary to say him & Nipsey had ‘pretty light-skinned’ daughters to raise in the middle of his deceased friend’s memorial. By the way, Nipsey’s daughter is not even light (or at least not in my book anyways.) She’s a very deep caramel tone just like her father which makes what he said even more moronic. Yes, the same YG who thought it was clever idea to use slavery as an aesthetic for a music video to a diss track about 6ix9ine. And yes, also the same YG who has derogatory lyrics targeted at bisexual women. Just to end up sweating the red carpets with one. I swear the jokes just continue to write themselves.

This raises the question once more; How high of a pedestal can I really put a multiracial woman who has a song titled ‘N*ggas’ and when received backlash for the song in question, she used the ultimate ‘I’m mixed’ copout while not having a visibly black parent in sight?

It’s also kind of suspicious to me that many were not privy to Kehlani’s secret romance with Victoria Monét (pictured bottom right) until Victoria did an interview with Gay Times revealing she fell in love with a girl but they subsequently broke up because Victoria had a boyfriend and that girl was pregnant in a polyamorous relationship. Fans began to speculate because both Victoria & Kehlani previously candidly spoke about their sexual orientations, Kehlani had just had Adeya and they both were seemingly close. Their short-lived fling would later be confirmed when Victoria released the song ‘Touch Me’ on her last project and Kehlani hopped on the remix. Meanwhile, Kehlani’s relationship with Shaina (pictured bottom left) was very overt and all over her Instagram feed from my recollection. And as you can see, Shaina looks absolutely nothing like Victoria. They look like the complete opposite of eachother in every aspect which is kind of alarming(?) to say the least because why is it that the women she proudly claims as her partners tend to have a very racially ambiguous look such as herself but her ‘sneaky links’ on the other hand are undoubtedly black women? Again, it could just be me jumping conclusions. You know, I’m kinda good for that however something tells me I’m not. Y’all be the judge of the material though.

Last but not least, I’d like to touch on Ms. Raven Tracy very briefly. I was very weary about even including in this segment and if I should just put her in a entirely separate blog post with other women who openly date abusers despite their checkered past (alongside Nicki Minaj & her r*pist murderer of a husband, India Love & Sheck Wes etc.) being this particular blog post was based around the theme of lightskinned/mixed women dating men with extremely problematic views about DSBW. Raven obviously isn’t lightskinned or mixed however I refused to ignore how contradictory her [former] relationship with an alleged (I used this word very loosely and mainly for legality purposes.) serial r*pist while promoting a brand that is all about feminism & body positivity. This also traces back to A$AP Rocky by default being that Ian Connor is his very close friend and he came to Connor’s defense when several women came forward detailing accounts of Connor allegedly s*xually assaulting them. (I wish I could place the actual video of what A$AP Rocky said verbatim but Tumblr only allows one video per blog post. 🙄)

Back in June of this year, Ian & Raven had a back & forth on Twitter after Ian tweeted about Raven “fucking everybody” behind his back. I can only assume that he was alluding to Tori Brixx posting a video of her ex, Rich the Kid & Raven kissing on her story. Disgusted is not even the word to describe my feeling when she admitted she stuck by Ian despite of his many allegations of s*xual abuse because she loved him and her being a empath causes her to want to help everybody. Imagine aiding and abetting a predator and even paying for his bail & legal fees just to turn around and expect sympathy because this same individual cheated on you and exploited you all over Twitter for the public to see. The same man that you would get back with not even a WEEK after the fact & turn off your IG comments because it isn’t our “business” after making it our business...

That being said, I just genuinely want to know: Why do these women completely go against what they stand for in regards to these men? Maybe it was never genuine from jump street and if that’s the case, why jump on the bandwagon of performative activism? Is it because it’s profitable right now? Is it because disrespecting black women is not an immediate death sentence to your careers and more often than not actually helps you advance even further? I guess that’s the billion dollar question that’ll never truly be answered. I just want the world to stop using black women as their stepping stool to get to where they need to go and then discarding of us when we’re no longer beneficial. Support us all the way or don’t support us at all. We deal with enough disrespect as is so we’d appreciate if y’all would stop straddling the fence and partake in your misogynoir out loud if that’s what you choose to do. We have no use for fake allyship and quite frankly, it’s doing more harm for us than good. Please and thank you!

Sincerely,

- 𝙼𝙸𝚂𝚂 𝙴𝙳𝙶𝙰𝚁 𝙰𝙻𝙻𝙴𝙽 𝙷𝙾𝙴. 💋

[mazzystar24]

I hate the sperm donor storyline for so many reasons:

1. It’s just out of nowhere and serves no purpose -as of yet (I actually do have an idea for what might come from this that MAY be interesting)

2. It’s honestly sort of character regression, Buck isn’t a selfish guy who a plot like this would show that he wants to help his friends, it’s the opposite he firmly believes that his sole purpose in life is to be of use to other people in order to gain their affection and he’s just now unlearning that

His parents made him feel like he was “spare parts” and he is just now supposedly processing that in therapy, this just reinforces that belief

Margrets line of “you were a miracle baby” when he told them about the sperm donation made me actually ill because it is just further proof that this whole storyline is once again him using himself to help someone else without considering what it means for him

3. More on that while it’s very in character for buck to want to help, at the same time it’s very out of character that we didn’t even see him really consider the fact that he’ll have a kid that he won’t really have even after hen pointed out that he needs to think about how it would make him feel

This guy literally practically acts like Chris’ father and has since day one and you cant convince me that it wouldn’t bother him to know there is a kid out there that he won’t get any contact with

Anyways, so the only storyline I think this could possibly be heading to is if kameron and Connor die in like a car crash or something in like a dramatic moment where you think they’ll make it but then buck is left to take care of that baby, which could be horrible or good, I mean accidental baby acquisition sometimes pisses me off, sometimes I love it but if done right this type of turn out has some potential. I feel like with buck he just needs a break tho so I’d kinda hate it, honestly can we wrap him in bubble wrap and not traumatise him anymore?

[fandom-necromancer]

I want to tell the world I love you

This was prompted by a wonderful anon! Enjoy! It is very angst but it has a happy ending, don’t worry!

Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: Reed900 (Warnings: Overprotectiveness, panic attack, internalised homophobia (+struggle to overcome it))

It was a slow day at the precinct and Gavin hated it. Sure it was nice not having to work every single second of your shift and still leave something for the next day, but the opposite wasn’t that nice either. He spent his day resisting the temptation to play on his phone, looked over his reports to find errors or change a sentence to better convey the message. He filed the pictures he had taken for evidence. He watered the lone cactus on his desk. He got himself a coffee. He watched Nines, who caught his drift and smiled back. That had made it a bit better, but still frustration and boredom settled in. He just wanted something to do or go home and the more he looked around the precinct aimlessly, the more random things annoyed him. The way he could hear Chris’ nose whistle barely audible, but being unable to not focus on that now that he caught on. The way Tina brushed through her hair the fifth time in a minute. The ringing of somebodies telephone for at least two rings too many… Gavin knew it himself, this was one of the days he would randomly explode on people again. And that made him even angrier. ‘Phhhck’, he sighed silently to himself and massaged his temples trying to force himself to relax. But the tension stayed and the frustration continued to nibble at him and he was seconds away from screaming at someone, something, anything to make it stop and have something to work on.

And apparently the universe had decided to throw Connor his way. Gavin looked up if only in the hope that the change would mean the bot got something for them, but the RK800 didn’t even look at him walking straight up to Nines and banging his hands on his table. Nines looked at them, then at Connor and turned in his rolling chair. ‘Is it true?’, Connor asked. Nines looked at him questioning. That one sleek brow lifted over stern eyes. ‘You’, Connor jerked his head in Gavin’s general direction. ‘and him?’ ‘What?’ Nines was now sitting ram-rod straight, glancing over to Gavin, who had simply froze for lack of better word. ‘Err… What do you mean? Con, I-‘ But Connor wasn’t taking it, stepping beside the table and grabbing Nines wrist, pulling his hand from the keyboard in the process. Gavin reeled back as he saw Nines’ LED dip to red and stay there while his skin was pushed away from where Connor’s hand connected.

A forced interface. Gavin knew what he was seeing, Nines had done this a few times with unresponsive androids. The way the other’s skin didn’t retract but was forcefully shoved aside. This… This wasn’t right, Connor had no right to do this and Nines wouldn’t allow him- ‘So it is true!’ Seldomly had Connor been this loud or angry. ‘You and this wretched human! This robophobic piece of shit, who held me at gunpoint twice and punched me on the first day? Really? Did you forget how he treated you? Did you?’ ‘Connor, I-‘ ‘What are you two doing, hmm?’ Connor leaned forwards and his grip on Nines was like a vice. His face went blank. ‘So you two are already fucking? Nines, I can’t believe it. How on earth could you let him use you like that? Do you think he loves you? Nines, he is playing with you, can’t you see that? There is no way someone like him will ever change and you should really know better than-‘ Nines didn’t allow him to speak any further. His free hand slapped on top of Connor’s and closed around his hull strong enough to indent it with an ugly crunch. ‘Don’t you dare say that’, he hissed. ‘Don’t you dare say that if you know nothing about us. When was the last time you two spoke a word with each other? When was the last time you re-evaluated your picture of Gav-‘

Right. Gavin. Gavin, who had told him to keep their relationship a secret at all costs. Gavin who had only recently had started showing his emotions, who had taken more than one night spent talking that it was okay to be friends, that it was okay to be more than friends even, that loving a man wasn’t wrong like his family had taught him, that Nines would be there for him and that a slow pace was fine, that… That it was completely fine if their relationship stayed at home, that they didn’t openly show affection and that both of them feeling safe and comfortable was more important than all expectations.

Nines let go of Connor, his priorities changing to see if his partner was alright. But Gavin’s chair was empty. His jacket was hanging over the back of his seat, that had turned as if left in a quick escape. The keys to his bike were gone from their usual spot and Nines didn’t need more information than that to leave his predecessor – because brother really didn’t fit right now – behind and go after his human.

He managed to intercept him on his way out of the parking lot. ‘Gavin!’, he called out. ‘Gavin, please!’ And the man stopped. The engine was still running, gently chugging along without a care in the world, making Nines all the more desperate. ‘Nines.’ His eyes were still wide and unfocussed, it would be irresponsible for Nines to let him drive, but it would be even more detrimental to make him stay. ‘Nines, I-I-I… I can’t.’ His breath was quick and irregular, barely enough to sustain him. He must feel like suffocating right now. ‘Gavin, I didn’t want to. He forced it. I. I would never tell anyone. I promised you!’ ‘I know’, Gavin breathed out, his voice nearly drowned out by the engine sounds. ‘I know and I… I trust you still but… I can’t. I can’t take it. I shouldn’t want it, it’s wrong and I… Con is right and…’ ‘Breathe’, Nines said calmly despite his own stress. Gavin needed him. And he breathed. ‘We can’t be together’, unfortunately were the next words that left his mouth as he had enough air again to talk. ‘We just can’t. I can’t. I want but I… It’s better that way.’ It is not, Nines wanted to say but didn’t. ‘I love you’, was what he said instead, disappointed, knowing it wouldn’t change anything. ‘I know.’ There were the tears. ‘I… I love you, too. But I can’t. I… You shouldn’t have to wait for me, you deserve someone nice, someone less broken and wrong and-‘ ‘Gavin!’ Nines couldn’t help but make him stop. He wouldn’t let him say it. ‘Gavin, you are perfect. You are. Please. Please, I beg you, stay and let’s talk!’ The man looked up at him out of swollen eyes and Nines would never be able to forget the way he looked at him, sad, grieving and worst of all believing everything he had said about himself.

And then he let the engine roar up and drive him away, leaving Nines standing alone in the parking lot.

-

He didn’t know how long he had stayed there. He just remembered eventually walking back inside the building, because really, there was no reason for him to stand there any longer, was there? It’s not like that motorcycle would reappear magically, that Gavin would come back and kiss him like he had so many times at home. Would they ever do that again? He didn’t dare to think such thoughts. No. Work. Work was what he needed. Something to keep him occupied, because if he had a free minute, he would think and thinking lead to ideas and Nines knew they wouldn’t be good at all. No, Nines couldn’t afford himself to be himself right now, else he would likely self-destruct on the spot. No, he went inside, ignored the looks and quiet questions, sat down at their – his - desk and interfaced with his terminal, concentrating on being RK900 only and digging up every unsolved case from their databanks.

The numbness was a blessing. Overworking his processors with wild pre-constructions that would ultimately lead to nothing left no room for Gavin. For his concerns whether he had made it home safely. For stray thoughts imagining him sitting at home alone, crying. Maybe drinking. Maybe worse. No, there were only murders and Red Ice and kidnappings and no end in sight. So, when Connor approached him and said something it took a while for the message to reach his systems. ‘/’m s0rry-.+’’#..||- I dIdn’t me@n t..-~ I c0uldn’t knw{-=-_.. I sh0uldn’t h@ve. I want t# apologise. Nines please listen to me.’ ‘I believe you said enough’, Nines spoke without intonation through heavy static. ‘Really, you can’t imagine-‘ His voicebox cut out and Nines laid all of his anger, sadness and fury into his stare while it restarted. ‘Don’t you dare talk to me like a simple apology could bring you absolution!’ With that he stormed off to the evidence room and locked himself in. This way there would be no further disturbances and he could again dive deep into the systems. Time didn’t matter, it’s not like he had anyone to go home to anymore. Their shift ended, the next had begun and Gavin had called in sick for the next day somewhere around 2 AM. Nines didn’t care. He simply pushed deeper, the clear orderly systems of the precinct a welcoming blanket to wrap his own chaos into.

-

Connor sat on the couch, mindlessly petting Sumo. He had never seen Nines like this. They had argued before. They had yelled at each other. It was normal. But this time something had changed. He had messed up badly. Even Hank ghosted him, telling him to set it right or not, but not to involve him in their fights as he would refuse to pick a side. He had just wanted to protect his brother! When he had overheard Nines and Hank talk about it, he had simply been concerned. He had only ever seen Gavin as the anti-android nuisance that couldn’t stay in his own lane. The arrogant man that only cared for his career. The guy without many friends because he never let anyone close enough to actually see beyond what was clearly your typical schoolyard bully grown up and misplaced in the police force. he didn’t want his brother to be pulled in for a prank. He hadn’t wanted his brother’s feelings to be run over by the truck that was human rottenness. He hadn’t – not even for a single moment – thought about the possibility that it was something genuine. That Nines really did love that man and that Gavin returned it. He hadn’t even taken into account it could be a chance. And he had hurt not only Nines’ feelings, but seemingly also ruined what had made them both happy. Some kind of brother he was… RA9, how could he set this right? He had to do something, it was his own fault, his doing alone. But how would he even begin? Nines didn’t let himself be talked to, Connor couldn’t even blame him for it. But Gavin… he couldn’t imagine the human to let him in, much less to actually listen or even consider his apology. But he had to do something and maybe even something as futile as this was better than doing nothing at all.

Statistically speaking there’s always a chance for unlikely events to take place. He remembered thinking like this during the revolution. He prayed to whoever was listening that it would prove true another time as he knocked at the door. To his surprise the wood gave way at the impact and opened a fraction. The lock was broken, a footprint underneath telling him everything he needed to know. ‘Gavin?’, he asked as he tentatively opened the front door a little more and stepped in. ‘It’s me… Connor.’ He winced, bracing for the human to come running at him with something sharp. But his only response was a very weak, very drunken: ‘Phck off.’ So no threat at least. And he was a lot further down his plan as he had ever thought to come. ‘Gavin, I came to apologise. ‘Phhhhck oooff. Don wanna talk with ya plastic shit ass.’ ‘Very eloquently put’, Connor commented, before he could catch himself. He had made it to the kitchen, where Gavin sat next to the open fridge wrapped in Nines’ old Cyberlife jacket and multiple bottles – all of them empty, one of them shattered - to his side. ‘I sssay whatIwant, thisis my houssse.’ ‘I get it.’ Gavin blinked against the clearly too bright kitchen light and furrowed his brows in tired anger. ‘Get. Out.’ He prepared to throw the bottle in his hand at Connor, who quickly lifted his hands. ‘Hey, watch out, this one’s still full. I guess you wouldn’t want to waste perfectly good alcohol on me.’ He hadn’t known it would work, but it did, as Gavin looked at the bottle then to the empty stack next to him, apparently deciding it wasn’t worth the effort as he took another chug. ‘Fine. Whaddaya want?’

‘Apologise. It wasn’t my right to say that.’ ‘Yer damn right, asshole.’ ‘I didn’t believe you two really were in love.’ ‘Didn’t believe it either’, Gavin slurred. And as Connor didn’t respond, he continued. ‘I mean me? With a guy like him? God, I thought I was dreaming.’ ‘Really?’ Connor dared to sit down on the floor opposite of the man that had leaned back his head against the wall, smiling completely lovelorn. ‘Of course. I’m n asshole. I can’t keep friends. Think they don’t really like me, just pretend. Destroyed every single one so far. Forced myself to be with girls, y’know, thought that I’d learn with time. So then, Nines comes up and is perfect, feels perfect, cares and… Nah, didn’t believe it. Told him upfront he would get factory second. Y’know, like a decent man. Told him all my problems and stuff and he still stayed. Agreed to all. First time in my life someone heard that and stuck around.’ ‘And I messed it up?’ ‘Yeah. Big time.’

Connor shuffled uncomfortably. The open refrigerator made it far colder than it needed to be. ‘How can I repair the damage?’ ‘You can’t. You… You were the source but I… I panicked and broke up with him.’ ‘But maybe I could-‘ ‘No. I have to man up, go there and tell him I love him still. That I will phcking commit, that I’ll send my parents to hell and my childhood memories right with them. That this is me and only me and that I want him like my gay ass should. But I can’t. I am phcking drunk and that’s the only way I can say that without freezing or panicking or building up walls or-‘ ‘What if I drive you to the precinct right now?’ That seemed to be too much for Gavin’s inebriated brain and Connor waited for an answer. ‘Nines is still at work?’, he slurred, obviously confused. ‘Yes.’ ‘Yess… That’s… That’s a good idea… Just… Phck…’ Gavin made it surprisingly fast to his feet and to the kitchen sink before emptying his stomach into it. Connor was next to him in an instant, holding him upright and helping him clean up afterwards. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to drive Gavin back to the precinct like this, but if this was the only way to right his mistakes, he would gladly do it. And besides, the night shift likely had seen worse already.

Gavin was still in Nines jacket as Connor helped him out of the car and guided him to the back entrance meant for supplies and smoke breaks. It wasn’t that far to the evidence rooms from there and Connor managed to get him inside without anyone really noticing. He tried to open the door to where Nines had locked himself in but was declined. ‘Go away Connor.’ The voice alone was what let Gavin next to him perk up and brace against the wall. ‘Nines? Nines, please, can you hear me? I love you. And I was an idiot, I panicked and I-‘ The door was ripped open in a heartbeat and there was Nines, catching Gavin by the shoulders and pressing him in a close hug. ‘Gavin!’ ‘I’m so sorry, I love you and I didn’t mean what I said, I panicked, and you know I say shitty things then, I need… I need you and I want you and phck everyone’s opinion, I am allowed to have you and I can do whatever the hell I want!’ ‘Yes’, Nines gently whispered. ‘Yes, of course. Don’t be sorry. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have told-‘ ‘No. Phck this! I want to tell everyone, and they will have to accept this shit! God pcking damnit!’ ‘Okay, but let’s wait with that until you are sober, okay? Come here.’ Nines drew gentle circles on his back and relished in the feeling of having his human – his – here in his arms and hold him and tell him he was safe and loved and cherished. He didn’t even know what he had murmured n the end of it, but it had made Gavin slump against him and fall half asleep in his arms. Nines decided then to retreat back into the evidence room. He did shoot Connor one last glance, grateful for bringing Gavin back to him, but also implying this would have repercussions as soon as their minds had settled.

Connor just swallowed, nodded and left them to it. He guessed he had deserved that.

[mcchipisfried]

DEArtfest Day 29 - Stuck In A Closet

Okay I’m not gonna lie I really liked writing this one!

(There’s a little surprise at the end that I hope you guys enjoy)

I really hope Maximilian never sees this

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“Nines what the fuck? Move your fucking arm its going to fucking break my ribs!”

“Gavin, I can assure you you are in no such danger of me breaking anything. But I regret to inform you that there is no way I’m “moving my fucking arm” unless you move your fucking body.”

.

How they ended up like this was to say the least, hard to explain. It started with Gavin hiding from Hank because he had “accidentally” set his screen saver to a picture of Connor’s face photoshopped into a picture of the Terminator's body. This was of course no accident and was in fact a prank.

It was quite funny if you asked Gavin. Peak Millennial/ Gen Z humor. Hank apparently had no sense of humor, although he probably would have laughed if Fowler hadn’t come up behind him just as he logged in to see said photoshopped version of Connor. Hank’s mouth had never been so wide and Fowler had never sighed so loudly before that moment. He promptly turned back to go into his office, muttering about retirement while Hank tried to explain that no he would never have something like that as his screensaver for work to both Connor and Fowler. 

Connor comforted Hank and tried to explain he believed him while Hank looked around the precinct, spotted Gavin trying to hide behind his computer and Nines doing his best to look at the papers he had in his hand. Of course Gavin would do something like this but he wasn’t smart enough to hack his computer. Only an android would be able to do something like that. He turned to Connor who quickly looked at Nines and Gavin, coming to a similar conclusion just as Hank had. He turned to look at Hank. Hank nodded at Connor.

“You take Nines. I'll take Reed. Divide and conquer.”

They both scrambled towards Nines and Gavin’s desks as the other duo rushed in the other direction because dammit they had balls but they knew when to run.

Gavin and Nines split, going in opposite directions. Gavin shoving himself into a broom closet, breathing heavily. He heard running steps quickly passing him by. Damn him Hank could still run faster than Gavin but all that hair was probably covering part of his eyes since he didn’t bother to check the closet. He quieted a laugh as he heard other footsteps running and opening the broom closet. Fuck. LED. It was Connor. Now he knew he was definitely going to die. Or that's what he thought until Connor shoved himself on top of Gavin and closed the door before another set of footsteps passed the door. That’s when he realized it was actually Nines. That’s also when he realized it was way too cramped in the tiny broom closet.

“ Nines what the fuck? Move your fucking arm its going to fucking break my ribs!” Gavin loudly whispered. It was too cramped. Way too cramped.

“Gavin, I can assure you you are in no such danger of me breaking anything. But I regret to inform you that there is no way I’m “moving my fucking arm” unless you move your fucking body.” Nines said trying to twist his body to face Gavin but failing as he still didn’t want to hurt him.

“If anything, you should be more worried about Connor or Hank breaking your ribs for making that stupid picture.” Nines said, finally managing to turn his body without accidentally crushing the Detective.

“Okay but you were the one who managed to get it on Hank’s computer.”

“I only did that because the other option was to print them out. Everyone would have known it was you and at least this way there would be more of a mystery.” Nines said miserably, resigning himself to leaning on the door and trying to give Gavin as much space to breathe.

“You have to admit it was funny though. Did you see Fowler's face? They are not getting another case for at least two weeks!” Gavin chuckled to himself even more. 

“Yes but you didn’t have to use the Terminator poster. You could have just used a random poster of a robot. I think it would have gotten a similar enough reaction.” Nines grumbled, something clearly bothering him.

“Tin Can, the Terminator poster was perfect. Anything else would not have been funny enough.” Gavin tried to explain. He noticed Nines wasn’t so happy about their little prank. He thought Nines would enjoy messing with Connor and Hank but it seemed he was wrong.

“I just...think it didn’t have to be the Terminator. I mean you said I was the Terminator so I thought that was something you used exclusively-”

“Whoa whoa whoa, Nines,” Gavin smiled before continuing. He brought his hand to cup Nines face as best as he could. 

“Are you jealous?” Gavin asked. Of course he was. He had to be.

“What? No Detective, I may be a deviant but I am certainly not jealous-”

“No but you are! You’re jealous I used a Terminator picture for Connor!” Gavin laughed, oh this was too good. Fuck it if Connor or Hank found him and broke a couple bones. He could end up in the hospital happy knowing Nines was jealous of something so dumb.

“Tin Can don’t worry. You’re my only Terminator. And besides I used a poster from the really bad one from like 2015. If you ever let me photoshop you I promise to use the poster from one of the good movies.” Gavin smiled at Nines and leaned in to give him a chaste kiss. Of course his Terminator could get jealous. He was as human as Gavin was. Maybe even more so. Nines smiled but before he could say anything he felt the door behind him open and he hugged Gavin close to him as he felt himself fall.

Gavin yelped at being brought down with Nines before they both looked up to see Hank, Connor, Chris, and Tina all smirking as they looked down at them. Tina was holding her phone recording them.

“Oh Gavin I can’t wait to show this to Fowler. Just coming back from your vacation and you’re already sneaking into closets to make out.” Tina said before running off in the direction of Fowler's office. Gavin scrambled up and ran after her.

“Don’t you fucking dare!” Gavin yelled as he turned the corner.

Nines was still on the floor, his clothes covered in dust but smiling like nothing was wrong in the world.

“Wait so he calls you the “Terminator” as a pet name?”

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Gavin used Connor’s face on the Genisys Poster and he used Judgement Day for Nines because Judgement Day is the best terminator movie don’t @ me

I’ve taken Digital Media Classes and know how to photoshop I SWEAR-

Please don’t let Maximilian see this pls

Anyways I hope my terrible photoshoping skills didn’t blind you!