#chrisMatiC | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

salixsociety · 1 month

Text

Inquiring Into Orthodoxy

On first services, what to expect, and good etiquette.

A few times now I've found myself writing preposterously long messages about the very beginnings of being an inquirer into Orthodox Christianity. I'm passionate about helping those with such disorders as social anxiety or autism feel more confident attending their first service and, potentially, laying the foundations for catechism, so I am writing this in the hope that I can direct people to this post, instead of preparing my poor arthritic fingers for a 2000 word message.

Glossary at the bottom of the post.

My 'credentials':

I went through the process of inquiry, catechism and baptism/chrismation as an adult in a foreign country. I suffer from various physical and psychological disabilities that give me social anxiety and make me sensitive to novelty and change. Still, I did it and enjoyed it!

Admittedly, my catechism was much shorter than most, as I ended up being baptized in a sort of emergency situation. I will not speak much on catechism for that reason on my blog, and this post will focus on inquiry and your first few services.

So, orthodoxy has piqued your interest!

Finding Orthodoxy and developing an interest in it is exciting, but as quickly as the excitement came, can it go, when you discover that unlike protestant denominations, it is hard to dive head-first into. Theoretical and historical knowledge abounds, but the practice is community based, initiatory and generally not open to 'outsiders'. Figuring out how to dip your toes in can seem daunting, as most resources are geared toward people already actively looking to convert. And perhaps even more importantly, the (seemingly) grave and deeply mystical tradition feels unapproachable. Hopefully the following information will help you find direction and feel more comfortable in how you proceed!

The very humble beginnings

Step one, for one's own benefit, should be a little homework. Assuming you haven't yet, it's good to read up on things like:

The norms and values of Orthodoxy;

How Orthodoxy differs from your (former) religion;

The history and cultural role of Orthodoxy;

The primary denominations within Orthodoxy.

This will orient you slightly in your process of familiarizing yourself. For example, if the Orthodoxy that sparked your interest was Russian Orthodoxy, you don't want to accidentally attend a Coptic church - you won't know what hit you. It will also allow you to start deciding whether Orthodoxy really is for you, and see how it and its values match up with your lifestyle and ideals.

When you've learned about the concept of Orthodoxy, the next step is to look around for a church near you. To become Orthodox, you rely on a parish and a priest - being an ancient religion it is inseparable from community. Don't focus too much on what kind of church you go to for your first few services. It's of little consequence in the long run, as long as it falls in the broad category of the Orthodoxy you're wanting to convert to. The difference between Greek, Russian and Antiochian, which are all Eastern Orthodoxy, is fairly minimal compared to the difference between Russian and Coptic or Ethiopian and Syriac!

Your first Services

There is some merit in choosing your very first service wisely. They have different meanings, lengths, activities and levels of laity participation. I will take the different Eastern Orthodox services as an example list here, because it is the most accessible form of Orthodoxy in the USA and Europe, but you can research the services of the other big denominations as well if you are attending those churches, to decide which one you should go to first.

Common Types of Eastern Orthodox Church Services:

Matins/Orthros: A morning service of about an hour to an hour and a half, dedicated to glorifying the triune God. Traditionally held before dawn and glorifying the light of Christ, it is now held at various times during the day and often serves to lead up to liturgy. Normally held only on sunday and feast days in parishes, but held every day in monasteries.

Vespers: Evening service traditionally held at sunset, preparing the laity for the evening and glorifying the providence of God. Most parishes hold vespers on wednesdays, fridays, and saturdays.

Liturgy: The primary worship service on Sunday. Normally held in the morning, it is the most important service to most Orthodox Christians.

Note that despite this incredibly simplified breakdown, Orthodox worship is very complicated. There are many many services that are held daily in monasteries, that are grouped together into clusters that can be held daily or a few times a week. Service times also differ across jurisdictions and parishes, and the entire worship structure changes throughout the year!

Thankfully, you will not have to spend hours reading liturgical history to figure out how and when to attend. Most churches will have a website with a schedule!

So how do I know which service to attend? Depends! For most inquirers, liturgy is the most popular choice. It is generally attended by the most people, and gives you a taste of everything all the other services have. Sacraments, glorification, hymns, entrances, everything! However, if you are looking for a quieter and more accessible service to attend, vespers can be a great choice. There are no sacraments, just glorification and litanies!

Preparing for the service, and LGBTQ+ problems

If you want to make a good impression, it will be worthwhile to consider things like what you wear, and what you'd like to learn. Let's talk about what to wear, because it can be a sensitive matter to decide what to wear. The Orthodox church is fairly heavily gendered, and there aren't many churches geared toward LGBTQ+ people. To keep things simple and welcoming, I will not use the strongly gendered language the Orthodox church might, as despite my activity within the church, I am queer myself and care about my LGBT siblings. Henceforth we will speak of feminine- and masculine-presenting people! How you interpret that is up to you: you can pick one to stick with, or pick a new one every day. Or even find a happy medium!

When choosing what to wear, it is important to realize two things. One: that you are not Orthodox yet, and therefore not expected to live up to any standards. Two: that Orthodoxy is not about following a set of laws or meeting a standard set by, for example, clergy or fellows, but rather about doing what brings you closest to God, to the best of your ability. Once you are Orthodox you may run into people who expect you to adhere to certain prayer rules, fasting habits or clothing standards like they're laws, but that is an innately unorthodox way of acting. When one is sick or overworked they are not blamed for not attending church, when fasting actively takes away your wellbeing you are not blamed for not doing so. In much the same way, if dressing a certain way makes you unhappy, you are not obliged to do so. There is, however, etiquette, and then the entirely separate matter of tradition.

Proper attire.

For the sake of not being rude, it is preferable that attendees, Orthodox or not, dress modestly and presentably. It is meet to be clean when you arrive, and to ensure your shoulders, knees, and stomach are covered. You don't have to dress formally, just dress as you would to meet acquaintances. You may want to consider wearing shoes that aren't too hard to put on and take off, as some churches will prefer you to take your shoes off! Socks are also pretty handy, in that sense. Tile floors are cold.

Traditional attire.

As you aren't yet Orthodox in any capacity, this is not required for you to adhere to in any way. For your second or third service, however, you may feel a need to fit in, and that's where traditional attire comes in. For feminine-presenting people, it is common to wear skirts or dresses (over the knee) rather than pants. Pants are permitted however, but 'informal' pants such as denim, shorts, etc, are discouraged. Opt for dressy pants!A head covering is also common, symbolic or not. Depending on what kind of church you go to, you may see anything from a small crocheted circle to a full scarf. Head coverings are not required! The standard for modesty means it is preferred that attendees do not wear overly tight clothing, overly flashy clothing, ostentatious jewelry, etc cetera.

Masculine presenting people are expected to be clean and modest as well. So the same rules apply: opt for humble, slightly formal wear. Make sure shoulders, knees and torsos are covered, and your clothing isn't meant to make a statement.

Standards for what is 'formal' can differ region to region. Here in Alaska, nice clean jeans are considered very much formal, maybe even exceptional (I don't even own a pair of unstained jeans). A nice sweater and clean jeans is perfectly acceptable here, but may be considered insufficient somewhere else. At the same time, because of the amount of Russian influence in Alaska, a full head covering is considered much more important than it may be in other places. Keep that variability in mind when you decide what to wear!

Attending the service

There are many questions about attending a service. When do I arrive? Who do I greet? Can I bring anyone? Where do I sit/stand? What are good manners? When do I cross myself? Can I participate? Who will talk to me? What can I expect? Let's take these one by one.

When do I arrive?

The short answer is: on time. Most people will enter the church a few minutes before the service starts, but you may notice people keep streaming in as the service goes on. As an inquirer, nobody will judge you for arriving at variable times or being uncertain of when to come. It would be best for you to arrive a minute or two early, or right as the service starts - but nobody minds you coming in a few minutes late.

Who do I greet?

If you're arriving shortly before the service, you can greet whoever you want. People will probably say hi and good day to you, and may even make small talk. This is a great opportunity to ask where to sit or stand, and anything else you may want to know. If you're walking in as the service is already happening, save for the people singing, everybody will be quiet. You should be too! Don't go chatting people up, but you may get whispered hellos and instruction.

There is also the matter of greeting icons! Orthodox churches are usually divided into a few sections. Here is an example of a Russian Orthodox church:

Note the 'narthex', the room in which you enter! In the narthex there is commonly an icon of Christ to the right of the entrance to the nave (the church proper), and the Theotokos to the left of it. These icons are normally greeted by the assembled faithful, as it is their house, and it is polite to greet your host! Reflecting this, most Orthodox people will perform the following, first before Christ, then before the Theotokos: they cross themselves twice or perform two metanoias, kiss the icon or bow to it, and then cross themselves or perform a metanoia once more. Usually the kissing is on the bottom of the icon, because kissing the feet of your host was good manners in Christ's day. You may greet and venerate these icons too! You can perform the full metanoias, or you can simply bow or kiss your right hand and press it to the icons. The latter are much less daunting, and just as respectable! NOTE: do not kiss icons when you are wearing lip balm or lip makeup! This can damage the icons, which are usually very expensive and handmade.

Can I bring anyone?

Yes! You may bring anyone you like, including children. Adults should adhere to the same manners you do to the best of their abilities, of course, but anybody is welcome. Children are expected to be kept in check, but they are certainly not shunned. Just make sure that if you have small children that cry, you step into the narthex or step outside for a moment until they are quiet again, so as to not disturb the other faithful.

Where do I sit or stand?

If your church has seating it will most likely be along the walls of the church, so sit there! If there is no common seating, which is not unusual, stand in the back, where you can still see well! Where you want to stand may differ a bit parish to parish, so feel it out! Just don't stand in the way of others. For example, if you're not singing, don't stand next to the sheet music. If you are disabled and can't stand, but there's no benches, look around. There may be one or a few chairs in the back of the church for the elderly and disabled. If there aren't any, consider requesting it of the priest after the service ends.

What are good manners?

I think I will divide this section into two parts: 'etiquette', the things you really ought to do, that are polite and respectful and the bare minimum, and 'brownie points'; things that are not necessary at all, but very impressive, considerate and cool!

Etiquette:

Do not disturb others. Turn your phone on silent, do not accept calls in the church, don't talk out loud in the nave during the service, and if you are spoken to or asking somebody a question (which is okay!), speak quietly. Please step outside with crying children, et cetera.

Be polite. Be nice to the other faithful, don't cuss, don't start arguments or debates in the church, don't ask invasive personal questions, handle the possessions of the church with care.

Do not eat or drink in the church unless it's consumables that were handed to you during the service.

Be patient. Orthodoxy is ritualistic and mystical, and sometimes that gets in the way of things happening quickly or practically.

Try to accept things that are given to you. People may hand you blessed bread or similar items. If you for some reason cannot consume what is handed to you, kindly and gratefully decline. If you do receive/accept it, be sure to consume it while inside of the church. Bringing blessed bread outside of the church is very rude!

Stick to the back of the church. In the above picture of a church layout, you can see a wall titled the iconostasis, in front of which are steps on which the choir may be placed. Those steps are called the solea, and as a visitor and inquirer you should under no circumstance step on or past them!

Be reverent. Understand that to the people around you, the place you are in is utterly sacred and the very house of God. Let your actions reflect that you know this, by showing interest, respect, and appreciation.

Brownie Points:

Cross yourself when you enter the nave and at other appropriate moments (as described below).

Stand for the Gospel and the Nicene Creed. The Gospel is announced before it starts, and the Nicene Creed, when in English, starts with: "I believe in one God, the Father Almighty..."

If you arrive late, do not enter the nave or sit down if the priest is not in the sanctuary (e.g. he is instead on the solea, or walking through the church).

Incline your head to the priest when he is walking past you or censing in your direction.

Don't cross your legs or arms, and stand up straight when you are standing.

When and how do I cross myself?

The how-to is simple, but different than you may be used to. Bring together the thumb, index and middle finger of your right hand, as though you're grabbing a pinch of salt.

This represents the trinity, and the posture of your fingers is a prayer of itself! Bring your hand to your forehead, then your abdomen, then your right shoulder, and finally your left shoulder. If you want, you can bring it to the middle of your chest after the left shoulder, but it's not necessary.

You cross yourself upon entering the nave, upon exiting it, and every time the trinity is mentioned. That's the universal minimum of sorts. Everything else depends on the parish you're in. So do what others are doing! Cross yourself when you see others collectively doing it, and look for the patterns in when they do so. You'll have it down in no time!

Can I participate?

Yes you can!! But not in everything. As a visitor, you are welcome to participate in pretty much everything but the sacraments. If others are singing or praying, you can sing and pray along, for example. In fact, many parishes will have booklets with explanations, sheet music and text for you to be able to follow along and learn. You are also welcome to receive blessings from the priest during the service, and kiss the gospel book. You can wait for a line to form when these things happen, and witness how others do it. If you feel confident, go ahead and join the line! You can also prostrate, bow, and perform metanoias when others do so, and touch the robes of the priest if he makes the great entrance. Follow along with the others if you feel like it, but it is also perfectly okay to stand in the back and simply witness.

Who will talk to me?

Upon entering, you may be greeted and guided by some of the laity, whether they are just assembled faithful, or clergy/monastics. After the service ends, there are normally announcements by the priest, and this is when he may notice you and encourage you to introduce yourself! After the announcements the priest normally comes up to you to chat a little.

Engaging with a priest appropriately.

When a priest approaches you there are some manners to adhere to. You should address the priest with 'Father', not 'sir' or anything else. Example: 'Nice to meet you, Father!' or: 'Father [Name], what time does liturgy start next sunday?'

Greeting him should be done with respect for his role in the church! A 'good morning, father', goes a long way. If the priest stretches out his hand, it is not for you to shake it. He does it so you can kiss the back of his hand, so that he can bless you! Simply take his hand and kiss the back of it. If you want to do it the way the Orthodox do it, you should support your right hand with your left hand, and hold his hand that way, like this:

While you are kissing his hand, the priest will make the sign of the cross over your head as a blessing.

Other than that, engage with the priest as you would with anyone else. He's human too!

After the service

On sundays after liturgy, you may be invited to join the parish in a separate building for a shared meal or some sort of coffee hour! This is a great opportunity to meet the laity, ask questions about the service, talk to the priest about further inquiring, and enjoy some fasting-friendly food! However, if that sounds like too much for one day, you will not be blamed if you opt out.

After other services, the laity just goes home and goes about their day.

Attending more services and becoming a formal inquirer

After your first experience, reflect on what you saw and felt! Did you like it? Do you want to try some other churches? Would you like to attend more? All of these options are valid paths to explore.

If you choose to attend more services at the same church, the priest may ask you if you have intentions of becoming a catechumen, a student getting ready to be baptized. You should have an open and honest conversation with the priest, and saying "I'm still thinking about it," is totally okay. In the weeks or months to come you'll likely have many talks with the priest, as he is partially responsible for your life in the church, even if you aren't Orthodox or even a catechumen yet.

As you attend more, it's recommendable to attend more different services as well. Orthros and liturgy, and then perhaps vespers, orthros and liturgy, et cetera. Try on different routines and see how they feel! Also start trying to become a more and more active participant. Learn about the patron saints of your parish, get to know the other faithful, venerate the icons, light candles, sing along, et cetera! It's rewarding and exciting, even if it is also nerve-racking.

Glossary

Baptism and Chrismation:

A service dedicated to joining you to the body of Christ. It washes away your sins, and then anoints you so you may receive the Holy Spirit. It is the first of seven Sacraments.

Blessing:

A blessing is hard to synopsize in a few words, but it is essentially a good wish to you from somebody else, or making you or an item more 'holy'. Read this for a more in-depth examination!

Catechism (cat-uh-kizm):

A period of being a student where you are orally taught about Orthodoxy, in preparation for your baptism and your life in the church.

Censing:

The act of ritually dispersing incense smoke. Usually done with a censer, a special tool for censing.

Church:

Used in many contexts. The church is the collective, organized Orthodox religion. A church is a church building. One can also say 'going to church', which means attending a service. In Orthodoxy, the church is seen as a living organism, of which the lifeblood is the Holy Spirit.

Clergy:

People that have been religiously ordained for special duties within the church.

Denomination:

A recognized, autonomous branch of the Christian Church. Syriac and Coptic Orthodoxy are two different denominations.

Fasting:

The act of abstaining from certain foods to bring yourself closer to God.

Gospel:

The teaching of Christ, and the written record of His life, from the Bible. Read during services from a special holy book, called the Gospel Book.

Holy Spirit:

In Orthodoxy, the Holy Spirit is two concepts that are one thing. One, the Holy Spirit is the lifeblood of the church and the power of prayer and divinity manifest. Two, the Holy Spirit is the third person in the Trinity.

Icon:

A depiction of Christ, the Theotokos, a Saint, or Angel. Never of God Himself! Icons are usually paintings, but they may also be other art forms.

Laity (lay-ih-ty):

Church attendees who are not part of the clergy.

Metanoia (muh-tahn-ya):

A metanoia is a type of prostration. While a prostration involves kneeling and touching one's forehead to the ground, which one cannot do on Sundays, a metanoia can be done at any time, and only involves touching the ground and then crossing yourself.

Monastic:

Somebody who has dedicated their life to Christ. A monk or nun.

Mysticism:

The characteristic of a religion of which the ultimate goal is oneness with the divine.

Parish:

A small church with its own priest that is administratively independent.

Patron Saint:

A Saint that is regarded as the heavenly advocate of a church, place, person, organization, etc. This Saint prays for and on the behalf of the thing it is a patron(ess) of.

Prayer:

The act of prayer. A request for divine intervention or an expression of gratitude directed at God, the divine, a Saint, etc.

Priest:

A religious leader authorized to perform services and pray on behalf of his parish. He is the spiritual leader of his flock and acts as an intermediary between his people and God.

Sacraments:

A sacrament is one of the seven most important spiritual happenings in a person's life. It is a channel for the grace of God to enter a person's life, and a visible symbol of the reality of God.

Saint:

Somebody who has lived an extraordinarily Christ-like life. Usually 'saint' is only in reference to people who have been glorified (formally recognized as a saint), but during services you may also hear acknowledgments of 'unknown saints,' people who lived saintly lives but weren't glorified for it.

Service:

A formal moment of communal worship, normally in a church building and lead by a spiritual leader; but there are also home services.

Theotokos (Thay-oh-TOH-kos):

Lit. God-bearer (Greek), Theotokos is the title commonly used in Orthodoxy for the Virgin Mary, the mother of Jesus Christ.

Trinity:

The Father, Son and Holy Spirit. The collective name for God, Christ, and Holy Spirit and the foundation the church is built on!

-----------------

And that is all for now! This post will be subject to revision for the next few days as I have people look over it, but I hope this serves its purpose for somebody!

#orthodoxy #orthodox christianity #inclusive christianity #catechesis #apothecaric allerlei #christianity

6 notes · View notes