Splatoon 3: Side Order is good, but not great. I still highly recommend it, but if you care about the story, you're going to be disappointed. Quick review: spoilers ahead.
Side Order was the devs experimenting with Splatoon's gameplay loop. The campaign is a rogue-like, and it works amazingly well. Super fun, super challenging, building my deck and fighting through challenges with the stakes of resetting really scratched an itch in my brain. They did a great job with it.
Unfortunately, I feel like priority went to game design rather than story. Much of the mysterious artwork we saw in the first teaser trailer was completely unused; turns out, all of that was just concept art that never made it into the final product. Side Order failed to make me care about what was happening. I don't know why the protagonist had to be Agent 8; it could've been anyone else and the story would've worked the same.
Octo Expansion was the absolute peak of meshing story and gameplay. The campaign's hook is insanely strong; we immediately empathize with Agent 8 because we know from previous lore that octolings like her have been trapped underground for all their lives. We care about her fight to the surface because it's a fundamentally ideological fight for freedom. The plot stuff about Tartar and the Thangs is just nice set dressing; 8's fight for freedom is the real story.
There's none of that in Side Order. I don't particularly care about Marina's metaverse, even if it's tied to Octo Expansion's story. I don't know why Acht is there other than backstory stuff. It really feels like 8 is just told to do something and she does it because she's the protagonist; she has zero personal stakes or motivations in the conflict. This is a story blunder the devs did in Splatoon 3's default campaign––forgetting to give the protagonist a personal reason to fight––that I hoped would be fixed here, but alas.
What makes it worse is that the gameplay and story progression are completely out of sync. I beat the entire game on my third run in 4 hours. With each run, you get up to two keys to potentially unlock bits of story. That means you'll get about one piece of the story every two runs. There are twelve pieces of the story; I got the first and then beat the whole damn game. Now I have to go back and grind to see the remaining story when I've already beaten the final boss and resolved the conflict. I missed the entire story because I never had to reset because I blazed through the gameplay! It's just a real shame that I experienced everything without knowing... why it's happening. The final boss had me asking myself what the hell is going on because I don't know the backstory at all.
Again, I still really recommend. The devs did a great job, but Side Order remains in the shadow of Octo Expansion's incredible success. Like the default singleplayer campaign, there's just a lot of lost story potential here that, while not necessary, would have really elevated this DLC into something amazing.
588 notes
·
View notes
BTW “no, look at me, i love you. you’re all i bloody think about. dream about. you’re in my gut, in my throat. i’m drowning in you, summers. i’m drowning in you.” “i know you’ll never love me. i know i’m a monster but you treat me like a man.” “but i want you to know i did save you. not when it counted, of course, but after that. every night after that. i’d see it all again. [..] every night I save you.” “you know you got a willing slave […] i follow you like a man possessed.” “i wanted to give you what you deserve, and i got it. they put the spark in me and now all it does is burn.” “why does a man do what he mustn't? for her. to be hers. to be the kind of man who would never... to be a kind of man. and she shall look on him with forgiveness, and everybody will forgive and love. he will be loved. so everything’s ok, right? can we rest now? buffy, can we rest?” “i’ve done things with you i can’t spell, but i’ve never been that close.. to anyone, least of all you. until last night. all i did last night was hold you and watch you sleep. it was the best night of my life." “i’m not asking you for anything: when i say i love you, it's not because i want you, or because i can't have you. it has nothing to do with me. i love what you are. what you do. how you try. i’ve seen your kindness, and your strength. i’ve seen the best and the worst of you, and i understand, with perfect clarity, exactly what you are.” IF YOURE EVEN LISTENING. IF YOU EVEN CARE.
1K notes
·
View notes
Me, sprinting around my flat with a handful of treats to hide in weird places to enrich my indoor cat: The things I do for this strange creature…
My cat, sprinting after me: The things I do for this strange creature…
254 notes
·
View notes
if you're transgender or you care about transgender people and you live in the US, you need to vote.
all those 1000+ anti trans legislation that have been introduced these past three years have not stopped, and they aren't going to just stop. they might not affect you now, but they will if republicans win the presidency and the majority in the house and senate. federal laws will be passed. that is their goal. their goal is to eradicate us.
it is February of 2024, and there have already been 495 anti trans bills considered. there were 588 total in 2023. this cannot go under the radar.
talk about this. VOTE this November.
do not be complicit in your eradication
103 notes
·
View notes