#cocaine i tried once and didn't like at all

[punisheddonjuan]

So the other day I met [unnamed tumblr mutual] in person for the first time when she came over to the apartment and beyond having a really wonderful afternoon together, she brought over some cannabis edibles because I mentioned that I was thinking about trying an edible to see if it could do anything for my pain levels, but also not wanting anything that even approaching "strong". I'd tried a few CBD only products and they didn't do much. Maybe an edible with THC in it too would actually do something.

Turns out that yes, taking an edible actually does help with pain. It didn't do much of anything for the muscle soreness, but it cut down on the neuropathic pain and dulled the migraine a little. It also dropped my heart rate, lowered my blood pressure and relaxed me, which hey that's all good. The entire experience of using cannabis as an edible is the complete opposite to my experience smoking cannabis. Smoking it, whether as a joint or through a bong, usually only ever made me anxious, put me on edge, and spiked my heartrate. I'm starting to wonder if that's more from the smoking part than the drug part. If the anxiety and spike in heart rate was some kind of inflammatory reaction to smoking. I've had a few nice experiences passing a joint around with friends, but every time I've tried it on my own, it's been bad vibes. I don't "do" drugs, or even drink because I'm always worried it will make me crash or feel worse somehow. So this was a really nice surprise.

[aishnico]

I'm thinkinggggg....maybe something angsty to fluffy with Slash?

#𝙎𝙇𝘼𝙎𝙃: 𝘪𝘵’𝘴 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳

» summary: you were tired of your boyfriend’s drug habit, so one night you asked him to choose between you and his habit. when he left you without an answer, you went to let all these things out of your head.

» word count: 2.1k

» warnings: angst to fluff, alcohol, described drug use, grammar issues

another glass has broken with your heart. you couldn't fix the glass once it's broken but the heart could. countless apologies, excuses, and promises would fix your heart, but not properly.

but you were sure this time, it surely broke and couldn't be fixed.

you looked at the floor. vodka was spreading through it, so your tears across your cheeks.

he turned his back against you. leaned his arms over the table. "don't... don't ever tell me what to do. you are supposed to be my girlfriend, not my mom, damn it!" he then rushed over to you. you weren't scared of him. you knew he would never hit you. but you were scared what was he going to say next.

"it's not my fault that you can't make me feel better than this shit!" he showed you a little pack of white dust. you felt helpless. you would hide his drugs away from him. and he was that addicted to find them no matter where they were. you would do this because you cared about him, and didn't want to see him killing himself over and over.

you wiped your tears and stood up. "i don't want to see you killing yourself anymore. you're not only killing yourself, you're also killing me! don't you care about me?!"

"bullshit, you're not dying. you're well enough to argue with me!"

"don't dodge the question, do you care about me?! do you want me to be happy?!" you were yelling at him and your voice got weaker. he was silent, looking at the floor. you gulped and approached him.

"i'm going to ask this you once again. you would always change the topic but this time you don't have a choice but to make a decision. drugs, or me?" you asked. looking at his big, brown eyes sincerely.

he looked at you. he wanted to say something, you felt it. or maybe you were wrong. he didn't say anything and went to the bedroom. you were standing not knowing how to react or what to do.

you wanted to swear to him, telling the most painful words to him. but at the same time, you wanted to talk with him again. trying to convince him to get clean for the nth time. you didn't care how much this was going to take. you just wanted to be happy with him.

but guess he chose to be happy just alone.

you left the home and went to the busy streets of los angeles, trying to find an empty cab. after minutes, you found and entered inside. you told the driver the name of the bar where you would often hang out with guys. you wish one of them was there.

and of course there was the indispencable axl! he greeted you nicely but his smile dropped when he saw your heartbroken face. "sugar, what happened?!"

you didn't answer him, just sat next to him and buried your head in your hands. he patted your back. "is it slash again?" you raised your head and looked at him.

"i asked him to choose between me or drugs, he didn't even answer me! i don't know how many times i tried to get him to the rehab, how many times i hid them from him. he just... *sob* can't give up on his first love. i'm nothing to him."

"that's not true, you mean a lot to him. i can't even imagine how he would be like without you."

you sobbed and buried your face again. "do you want a drink? i want a drink. i'm going to buy us drinks!" he went to the bartender. after a couple of seconds, he was walking through your direction but stopped once he saw a beautiful chick. he then gave her your drink. fucking carrot... you thought and stood up from your seat.

you were walking across the people, trying to forget things at least for tonight. and you stopped once you saw a couple of guys snorting cocaine. they smiled at you. "wanna join?" you didn't answer but sat next to them. maybe you could befriend them and let all these things out of your head. but you weren't talking with them unless one of them approached you.

"what's bothering you? we don't want to see people in deep thoughts around us. just forget them. let them go even for just one night." he probably understood that you've never done this before.

he rolled up a small piece of paper into a straw. there was already a big amount of cocaine on the table. he grabbed his razor blade, chopped it, and made a short line of it. he looked at you.

"wanna try? if you don't, then i will." you sighed and wondered how is the feeling this thing gives to your boyfriend or your friends. you then took the roll of paper from him and quickly snorted the line.

you gasped loudly and pulled your head backwards. after a couple of minutes, you felt yourself hot, your palms were sweating and your heart was beating like crazy. the guy beside you laughed at you.

"how does it feel?"

"i... i d-don't know, i feel anxious, i g-guess?" you stuttered. he rubbed your back. "then you should snort again, you will start to feel happy. trust me."

you felt unsure but remembered the times when slash would come home to you happily. he would cling to you and refuse to let you go for a while. he would be so lovey-dovey with you. his current mood would also make you cheerful. but then you realized it's not because he saw you again after an exhausting day, he was because of this shit. you wondered if you could be cheerful like him at the moment.

so you nodded and he chopped again and made you a roll. you took a deep breath and snorted all of it. your head became more fuzzy but a couple of minutes later you felt cheerful and excited. you chuckled at yourself and stood up while staggering.

"now i get it," you grinned and winked at him. then you started to go to the dance floor. you were staggering but you didn't care. you were walking between people and saying them good morning! while smiling. they looked at you strangely.

when you approached the dance floor you started to move slowly, and accommodating to the song. after a couple of seconds, you were dancing like crazy, not minding to look cringe. everybody here was like you, after all.

the guy who helped you to snort stopped behind you. when you turned your head to him you smiled.

"i was looking for you, wanna dance together?" you closed your eyes and shook your head to him. then turn your back against him again. you suddenly felt a pair of hands around your waist.

"now, now. don't be like that. you look so precious and funny right now. let me enjoy your company for a while." his face now was behind your ear. he whispered "maybe we can bring this to another place..." you then turned to him and knitted your eyebrows. "i thought i said no?" you left him there and started to look for axl.

your body temperature was increasing, and so was your heartbeat. you started to struggle more, you knew you looked pathetically and never wanted to do it again. even if your little happiness lasted a couple of minutes.

"axl... axl wh-where are yhou? call shlash..." you couldn't even speak properly. your legs started to shake. you found the door and exited the bar. you were walking to the road. eyes searching for your boyfriend. maybe he was worried about you so he came here to look for you?

“shl-soul, are yhou h-here?" you were squinting, trying to figure out which car was your boyfriend's. and before you realize it, you were hit by something massive.

you woke up with loud noises. you grimaced because fluorescent light was dazzling your eyes. you slowly blinked and turned your gaze to where the sounds were coming from. you saw axl and slash, arguing about something.

"how could you let her snort?! why didn't you stay by her side?!"

"she's not a child, especially not mine! she can make her decisions now, you know!"

you saw slash sit on the couch in front of you. he buried his face in his hands. axl sighed and left the room. when he did, you heard sounds of crying and sobs.

"how could i let this happen..?" he sounded helpless. it made your heart clench. when either of you would cry, the other one would join after. it was mutual. so tears were leaking from your eyes now. he raised his messed up face and looked at you, eyes widened at realization.

"sweetheart, you're awake!" he cheered but his voice was broken. you didn't say anything. he grabbed your hand and placed it on his, caressing gently. "how do you feel?" he asked.

you just shrugged. "i don't know, my legs hurt." he shut his eyes and gulped. "i... i am sorry, for not being there with you." his voice sounded shaking. you wanted to ask him if that was all he wanted to apologize for, but before you opened your mouth, he continued.

"not only for this. i am sorry for not listening to you, even though you only cared about my well-being. sorry for making you cry and feel heartbroken. you never deserved this, never. and i don't deserve your concern.

when you asked me to choose between you and drugs, i went to the bedroom only to think about that. i didn't choose them over you. i could never choose something over you. you're my priority, my everything. i never want something bad to happen to you. i could never get over this." he finished and kissed your hand carefully.

you sighed. "oh slash, i don't even know how many times we talked about this. same thing happens every time..." he looked at you with his big pretty brown eyes. "i swear this is the last time, we'll never talk about this. i swear. i don't want to make you miserable anymore. you deserve nothing but happiness. and i'm more willing to give you that."

you raised your head and looked at the ceiling, sighed again. "did that accident have to happen for you to say these?"

he straightened up. "don't tell me you did this on purpose..." his voice sounded nervous. you shook your head. "of course i didn't, i just always wondered how this shit makes you happy but i'm not, so i wanted to try it once."

"pretty, you know this shit is nothing compared to you. i was mad at you for you hiding it, but that's not an excuse for to me say those untrue things to you."

you smiled at yourself, wondering if axl or duff talked to him about this. finally, you gave up on yourself.

"i love you so much, slash. and i guess we both understood how is to lose almost someone."

"i love you too, sweetheart. more than everything. and yeah, you're right. i don't want one of us to experience this feeling again. " he smiled sincerely at you.

you tried to move your body aside and patted to empty space. he looked at you worringly. "are you sure, doll? i don't want to hurt or crush you." you just chuckled and opened your arms to him. he hesitated but climbed to the bed. you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him for a kiss. the kiss was sensual and full of love. you missed his plump and soft lips on yours, on every part of your body.

you then run your fingers through his dark curly hair. you loved playing with them carefully. he doesn't like it when it hurts.

you wanted to deepen the kiss because you missed him so much. you don't remember when you two kissed like this last time. but he pulled out looking at you breathlessly, then lay beside you.

"after we go home, i'm gonna search and then register myself on a program. this time i'm gonna complete it, i swear." he grabbed your hand and pressed a wet kiss on it. then did the same thing to your cheek. "slash!" you whined but he knew you actually liked it.

you were lying on his chest while he was caressing your waist. you've felt peaceful. and felt like your eyes would shut soon. he noticed it and planted a wet kiss on your forehead. you giggled.

"i love you." he said while sincerely looking at you. you smiled and snuggled to him. "i love you too, my big crybaby."

[lamentationsofalonelypotato]

You Call It Madness But I Call It Love

Chapter 5: The Man, The Myth, The Legend

Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader, Reader POV

Summary: When the reader left Payback 40 years ago after a falling out with her childhood best friend she never looked back, but when two men show up to her apartment and start asking her questions about the past, the reader begins to think those things can’t stay hidden and starts to question what’s real and what’s fantasy.  This is a re-telling of The Boys Season 3, where the reader is a supe who's known Soldier Boy since 1927. The chapters will fluctuate between past and present. This is chapter five of my "You Call It Madness But I Call It Love" series. (I'm so bad at summaries please forgive me!)

Word Count: 2.5K

Warnings: References to sex, Cursing (a few times), Drinking, Drug Use, Soldier Boy might be, is, really, absolutely, a little OOC, Possible spoilers for season three.

Note: This is told from Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. Reader is described as "curvy" occasionally. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!

Internal Monologue is in first person and is in italics

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

*************************

Present Day

"Hey'ya Kitten!" Legend smiles wide when he opens the front door of his apartment. "Where have you been baby? How's retirement?" He leans forward for a kiss and you turn your cheek to the side.

Always the flirt.

"Exciting. Is it alright if I come in?"

"Of course! I always have time for my favorite hero." He ushers you into his home.

It was one day after Agent Butcher and Hughie had dropped by your apartment looking for information on Soldier Boy. One sleepless night later you realized that the only way you were going to find Countess was through Legend. And despite his flirtatious attitude, you liked your former handler.

The apartment looks the same as it always has. Memorabilia from what he thought was the good old days hangs on the walls, a black leather couch sags in the center of the living room, and a red faded high backed armchair stands in the corner like a silent guardian. The smell of old cologne, pot, and alcohol soaks through the air and into your nose as you turn to examine the inhabitant.

Legend looks decidedly older. Sometimes you forgot that you didn't age the same way other people did, but then you'd meet someone from the past and it would remind you all over again. He's wearing the same smoking jacket with patched elbows, sunglasses, and ascot, that you saw him wearing over ten years ago. But Legend was classic.

"You hurt my feelings by not calling." He breezes having a seat on one of the couches, and fluffing more of the offensive smell through your nose, but you don't make a face. "What's it been ten years?"

"Something like that." You smile tightly and sit down on the armchair.

It wasn't that you didn't like seeing Legend. He might have been a crazy son of a bitch, but he was a good handler. He knew everything about everyone and he helped you get through Ben's death, not to mention he helped you create your new life when you broke away from Payback.

"You want some?" Legend holds out a mirror where a single white line of cocaine sits. "Or are you still sober?"

"I never did cocaine. And yeah, I'm still trying to stay on the wagon."

"Don't know how you do it."

"Me either." You say it partly to yourself, because it was true. You didn't know how you got through the past 40 years without a drink. Before, it wasn't that you partied as hard as Ben or the others did. It was more the drinking than drugs you imbibed in. Yes, you'd smoked the occasional blunt, but you didn't want to lose control if you tried anything stronger. You didn't like losing control, you prided yourself on keeping it together.

Ben had lost control more than once, and each time he'd show up at your apartment just like he had when he was a kid and he was hiding from his father, falling asleep beside you like nothing had changed. You never understood how he could be so vulnerable when it was just the two of you, but when he was in public he was different. Sometimes you hated that, because in those quiet moments you saw the boy you fell in love with, but when you were out in public you saw the man he became.

You remember all the times he lost control. The worst was when he threw a car through a house when trying to stop some kids in the street and killed an older man. Ben hadn't gone to the funeral, but you had. You sat on the back pew and watched the family mourn. Only a little boy in the front row had noticed you, and you had offered a kind smile, before walking back through the streets and leaving an envelope of cash in the family's mailbox. You knew the money couldn't replace the person they lost, but you couldn't think of anything else to do.

"So, are you here because you want to come out of retirement?" Legend snorts the line on the mirror without looking up. "Might be a good thing."

You laugh to yourself. "I like retirement too much to go back to Vought. Too wild out there nowadays with the supervillains and all that Compound V bullshit." You lean back in the armchair, crossing your legs in front of you.

"I could make you a star!" He looks up at you. "You're still as sexy as ever."

"And you're still a dirty old man." You tease, rolling your eyes at him and earning a chortle from Legend.  "I don't think my powers are cutesy enough for television. I’m not like Starlight.” You snort thinking about the current blonde member of The Seven that had become America’s Sweetheart, a title that you were happy you never wore.

"Who said anything about your powers babe? It's all about the body."

"Legend-"

"Fine, fine." He shakes his head. "I saw your last art show, very nice. Bought something for the country house."

"That's very kind of you." You smile with pride. Your last show had been a series you titled "Moods of the Forest," which meant that you had camped out under the stars for a solid month up North drinking in the silence of the woods. It was a nice way for you to clear your head and catch up on your reading, but it had done little to ease the thoughts of the past. "Those were some of my favorites. It was hard to part with them."

"You're very talented." He compliments.

"Thank You. I'd hope so. I've been painting for almost 90 years." Your memory flashes back to when Ben gave you paint for your birthday and the months that followed as you practiced. All the days you spent painting in the park and along the streets of Philadelphia, sometimes with Ben following behind and teasing you, but you knew he loved how much you were painting, loved how much you enjoyed the gift. The happiness and warmth of the memories is doused by a bucket of cold water as you remember the last time you saw him. The echo of the last words you spoke to him and the words he shouted at you ringing in your ears.

The chill sobers you and makes you remember why you were here talking to Legend.

"I have something important to ask you." You look up at Legend. "Do you know where Crimson Countess is?"

Legend doesn't answer immediately. The spike of his pulse with the mention of Countess' name is loud in your ears. "Did you want a scotch? I think I need one." He avoids your gaze.

"Legend-"

He stands from the couch and moves over to the table in the corner that has a collection of multicolored bottles that you wish you could drink from, but you restrain yourself. You hear the sound of the glass being poured and as he turns he takes a sip as if rousing the courage to tell you.

"Y/n if this is you finally going after her, now might not be the best time." He swirls the glass in his hand, the amber liquid sloshing against the sides. "I thought you were past all that-"

"It's not like that I-“  Your lips press together in a tight line, considering your next words. "Some men came to my apartment the other day looking for me. They were asking me about Ben."

"You told them you were dead right? The story we came up with?" Legend looks worried.

"Yeah. Don't think they bought it." You shrug.

"Did they give you their names?"

"They said they were with the CIA. Agent Butcher and a guy named Hughie-"

"Butcher? Dark hair, British accent, asshole?" Legend's glass pauses half-way to his mouth.

"Yeah. How did you-"

Legend sighs. "He used to be with the CIA, was on a task force that was used to hunt down supes. I helped them find a few over the years."

"Hunt them down?"

"Butcher's got a bone to pick with supes. Homelander especially." Legend sits back on the couch nursing his scotch.

At the mention of Vought’s most popular hero you pause. You didn’t know too much about Homelander, just that he emerged as Vought’s Golden Boy a few years after Ben died and he was supposed to be indestructible. You wondered if he was as indestructible as you.

“Homelander?”

“Did something to his wife.” Legend waves a hand like it doesn’t matter. "But they were asking you about Soldier Boy?"

"Yeah, they wanted to know about the relationship I had with him and how he died-" You foot taps against the ground, fighting the urge to pour yourself a drink.

Legend looks worried. "Maybe you should get out of town for a few days-"

"What?"

Can Butcher really be that dangerous? He didn't seem like much the other day and I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be able to handle me. Most supes couldn't.

"Not because of Butcher, he's a dick, but I mean everything with Soldier Boy." Legend takes a sip from the glass. "If you start thinking about him again, you're going to be in the same place you were last time."

Deep down you know he's right, ever since Butcher and Hughie showed up on your doorstep, Ben was all you thought about. The hole you dug yourself into when you and Ben fought and then he died was deep and dark, and it was already beginning to open under your feet.

You didn’t know if talking to Countess would help close it, but maybe you needed closure, maybe you needed to hear it from her how he died. The last thing you wanted was to go to Stan Edgar. He'd already shown up once, but you thought you had convinced him with your story. Occasionally he would show up to one of your art shows, browsing through the canvases, and asking you about the inspiration of them. You never liked when he showed up in your life, because after all these years he hadn't changed, he was still a snake obsessed with power and being on top.

"I know." You sigh, clutching your hands together in your lap. "But I want to talk to her. Maybe it's time. There was always something that unsettled me about how Ben died and she's the one who saw it. Plus Noir isn’t very talkative these days, Gunpowder is dead, and I’d rather drink cyanide than listen to those two TNT idiots.”

Learning that Gunpowder was dead was a shock. You'd lost contact with him, but you thought it was suspicious that he died so soon before Butcher and Hughie came to see you. You knew that Gunpowder was still doing his rounds in the gun expos and conventions, boasting about the good all days and preaching about the dangers of gun control.

It was ironic for him to be against it when you'd personally seen him kill several people who pissed him off and for no good reason.

If anything he shouldn't be allowed near a gun.

When you knew him he was still a kid, but even then he was already adopting the ridiculous macho attitude that Ben had.

Must have stuck.

"I still don’t think it's a good idea." Legend finishes his glass of Scotch. "But let me find it.

"Thank you."

"Don't thank me kitten. I don't think I'm doing you a favor." He grunts moving through the apartment, while your eyes trace the photos. Several of them were of Ben at movie premieres, another showed the whole Payback team, and finally just Ben and Legend. He was wearing his ridiculous helmet, the one you used to tease him about. You always thought it was a shame that they covered up his handsome face.

You had a box of photos under your bed that held similar images, but most of yours were of Ben and you not wearing your supe suits. The ones from your childhood needed to be handled with care, but you enjoyed looking at them, before you saw the hardness in Ben's eyes and the set of his jaw. Those early photos showed you the boy you fell in love with.

"Here." He hands you a slip of paper that holds his untidy scrawl as you stand from the chair.

"Thank you." You turn to go, but stop. "Should I be worried about Butcher?"

"I'd stay out of his way. He kills supes for fun."

"But if Ben's already dead then what does he want?"

Legend shrugs. "Can't be good."

"Great."

"Just be careful." Legend puts his hand on your shoulder. "I know that everything that happened with Soldier Boy really threw you-"

"I know. But I have to know. I have to hear what she has to say." You sigh looking up at him. It touched your heart that he cared so much. Legend never got close to his clients in the past, but for some reason he was always more willing to help you. It was him that talked you out of the hole when Ben died.

"Okay."

"It was good to see you. Take care of yourself." You try not to see the weariness in his eyes, the way the wrinkles have grown and stretched over the years, how the gray of his hair has spread. One listen with your supe hearing meant that you could hear his blood pumping through his veins, but it wasn’t at the same vigor as it once was. It was difficult to see age on the people you knew, the day that you and Ben both figured out that you weren't aging anymore had been bittersweet. You were happy that Ben wouldn’t die either, but it meant you’d lose your family. However, Ben’s inability to age meant that you weren't alone.

You frown to yourself. Sometimes you’d thought that meant something, that the universe finally threw you a bone and it was some cosmic sign that you and Ben were supposed to be together-

What a crock of shit.

But despite his death the past few years you hadn't been alone even though you had expected it.

"Good to see you too kitten. Don't be a stranger."

When you finally make it to the street below, you kick your leg over your motorcycle, but pause.

I could just go home and work on my pieces for my next show. Go home and pretend those men never showed up and forget all about Ben. The guilt and anger that rises with his name is familiar, but you brush it away. This might be the only chance I have of finding out what happened to him. You think about Countess and the scrap of paper in your pocket. But it won't be easy.

***********************

Thank you so much for reading! Likes and reblogs are always appreciated, but not required. Please let me know if you'd like to be added to the taglist for this series :)

Taglist: @roseblue373 @anundyingfidelity @cheynovak @cassiecasluciluce @muhahaha303 @deans-spinster-witch @kayleighmeister

[yandereunsolved]

Roses are Red; Violets are Blue - ,, yandere pre-death Tate

cw(s): yandere themes, suggestive themes, mention of cocaine, Tates actions (the lighting of a human on fire & a school shooting) a/n: Tate is aged up here and is in college instead of high school. He dies at age twenty-one instead of seventeen, because it feels weird to write an older teen as a romantic yandere. Mentions of Violet— she's eighteen and a senior in high school.

✧ You both grew up together, sort of. You were always someone Tate could never talk to. He was a bit too scared to speak with you. You just seemed so perfect, and he was not. You moved into his neighborhood when you both were much younger. His hellish 'mother' didn't like your family for a reason; he never quite paid attention. It was something about you all not being holy enough. About how you were going to corrupt her perfect golden son. There was nothing you taught Tate about himself that he wasn't bound to figure out. He learned about boners after peeping through your window one night while you were changing after a shower. He learned the true meaning of the words 'I love you' after he overheard you speaking of how excited you were for the new Nirvana album. You even taught him how to follow people and not get caught by that person or the authorities. All this, and he still hadn't had a proper conversation with you yet.

✧ You legally started your friendship relationship sometime early in your freshman year, on October 30th, 1991. It was just something else that made him fall head over heels once again for you. He was having an already shitty day when some athletic losers began bullying him. He was getting pushed around for the umpteenth time this week when he tried to fight back. He got knocked on his ass and a nose that was both broken and remarkably bloody. You rushed over and offered to help him. He brushed you off and was a bit snappy; he still regrets that to this day. He just didn't want you to see how desperate he was for your attention. He craved your touch. If it weren't for all the blood on his face, you would have easily noticed how flushed his face was from just being in your vicinity.

✧ You offered to take him to the nurses office, and he 'begrudgingly' agreed. He was bouncing on his heels in his mind, and he swears that his nose bleed got worse. You even offered to help him walk there if he was dizzy, and naturally, he leaned on you. He even took a whiff of your scent near your neck. He had to resist nuzzling into you because you just felt so warm, like home. Like a home he never had. He asked you to stay even after the nurse said you could go back to class. He'd made up some lame excuse about you being a witness and him having to report it. Such a fucking lie. None of the administrators would give a shit. Everyone in this godforsaken college is an adult. So 'bullying' doesn't exist, apparently. At least the college is near both of your houses.

✧ That's the best part. This is your first real interaction, and you are already inviting him over. You feel bad that his nose got sprained and that the nurse had to reset it. So you—

'Oh my god, you called me cute!? You said you saw me around the neighborhood all these years and were too shy to talk to me. You've always been so shy. You've always been someone who needed someone to take care of you. You'd take care of me so well. We could happily take care of each other. Wait, sorry. I'm rambling too much. Iris, get back with the headcanons before I go on about them for another three hours.'

Made sure that he didn't get left alone. You heard from around the neighborhood that his mother is kind of nuts. So you thought he would be the same, but he's actually kind of awkward and distant, and sweet. You two spent the entire night together and ended up having a sleepover. Tate likes it a lot more when the sleepovers are consensual and not him climbing through your window, crawling into your bed, cuddling into you, then leaving you right before you wake.

✧ Something you have to know about Tate is that he is undeniably a pervert. Constance ruined any chance he ever had to take a girl out on a date. Then, when his casual interest turned into an obsession, he was able to sneak out without alerting her. So just being around you makes his mind run wild and his hands perspire. He steals your undergarments the most—it doesn't matter what they are. It could be anything from a lacy bra to a pair of men's boxers. He always steals your oldest items because your scent is ingrained into their very fabrics. He hides the items he 'borrows' from you in a box behind a brick in the basement. He goes down there every night and inhales your heavenly scent. His eyes roll back in his head, and suddenly he has a problem that he has to take care of.

✧ That's not where his perverted nature ends, either. He suddenly became very interested in photography. He buys a secret camera to use whenever he 'sees' you. Whenever he watches you when you aren't aware. He takes photos of you doing the most mundane things: exercising, cooking, working on homework, walking, breathing, and blinking. He also takes photos of you while sleeping, getting out of the shower, stretching, and wearing those skimpy little clothes of yours. It makes his mouth water fervently. The photos quickly pile up. He keeps the physical photos in the same box behind the same removed brick.

✧ He buys you more pretty clothes. Most of them are revealing, but you seem to like that. At least that's what he's seen in you in your private life. Of course, you don't know they are from him. He's too insecure for that. So he wraps them up all nice and pretty and leaves them on your bed. He always writes down 'your secret admirer' on the packaging. He opens your window when you and your family are gone and leaves them then. If he is feeling more confident, then he'll open your window and put the package on the floor. You start locking your window after that. So he's constantly breaking the lock on your window. When the family gets the police involved, he gets extremely upset. He begins to ignore you, so you know exactly how he feels when you ignore his gifts and say it's from some 'creepy stalker'.

✧ You are understandably confused when one of your closest friends begins ignoring you. You think he might be scared of the fact that you have a stalker. It makes you desperate. You don't want to be left alone. You need your friend. That makes Tate all giddy inside. He gets to stay near you whenever he wants. As much as he pleases? You seem so scared of some hypothetical boogeyman. It's just sweet ole' him! Not that you know that. He understands, though. He'd be pretty upset if some random man started doing the things he's doing for you. No other man could be as devoted to you as he is.

✧ Slowly, the number of your friends and close family dwindles. Each of your friends either cuts contact with you or disappears altogether. Now, now, Tate has put so much effort into this for you. It wasn't easy. It wasn't something he could pull off on his own. He had to scrounge around for as much money as he could to hire a hitman on several occasions. He stole the money from his mother's various rich and fleeting boyfriends. She would use them up soon enough anyway. So there's no reason for him to care about their financial well-being. Besides, he is doing it for a noble cause—a war is yet to come.

✧ He takes a different approach when it comes to isolating you from your family members. He will get along well with your family. Insert himself as a shy, college kid that lives down the street and is best friends with their child—their only friend, really. His mother picks up on this and is immediately displeased. Of course she has only scratched the surface of the iceberg that is Tates twisted delight.

"As long as you don't fuck that godless slut, I suppose you can be around them."

He wanted to snap his mother's neck right then and there. Lucky for her, he had other plans. He inserts himself into every facet of your family's life. He slowly learns the skeletons in your family members closets. Did you know your cousin once had a lewd dream about your partner? Did you know your grandfather cheated on his spouse not once but twice? Did you know your Aunt once tried to poison you? Did you know? Did you know? Did you know?

Some of those may have been slightly exaggerated or entirely made up, but you completely trust him, so what is there to worry about? 

Soon enough the only one you trust is Tate.

✧ You connect the dots somewhat, but at this point, you don't quite care. You just want this stalker to stop. You just want Tate. When Tate learns his feelings are somewhat reciprocated, the stalkings become less frequent. After all, if he is always allowed to be around you, then he doesn't have to stalk you anymore. 

✧ He starts giving you love notes after the two of you begin dating. The stalker fades into the background, and suddenly only Tate is there. He is perfect for you. He is your dream boyfriend. He writes these cheesy and poetic letters about his adoration for you. Some of them are creepy—really creepy. You can look over that, though. It's just Tate being Tate. He was never confident enough to share them with you while he was just your 'creepy stalker'. Now he gives them to you freely. Sometimes they are just little doodles. Other times, they are cheesy words. Occasionally, they do have a tendency to get a bit violent. 

'Me & U 4ever.' '1+1=Let Me Fuck You Up' 'Love you more than Kurt Cobain' 'Let's go to a music festival and have fun~ ;)' 'Wanna sneak out later when your parents aren't home?' 'Is that bitch bothering you again?' 'Commit arson?' 'The thoughts are back.' 'Need you' 'I just want to keep you in my pocket and then lock you in a cage that only I have the key to for all eternity.'

✧ Everything was perfect until it wasn't. For some reason, you started distancing yourself from him. You had found a new friend group. You had found someone more healthy than Tate. Tate's hold on you was beginning to crumble. It was like he was trying to hold your disintegrating heart in his hands. You weren't spending every single moment with him. Whether this was actually happening or if this was just his paranoia is unknown. It got to him, though. It got to him worse than anything else could.

✧ He lost it one day. He snapped. It was a comment that his mother's new boyfriend made. Well, multiple comments. He found a secret collection of your things. He had done a bit of digging and began to learn just how unhinged his girlfriend's son was. Instead of immediately reporting him to the police, he confronted Tate instead. He threatened him with calling the police. He said that he was going to tell everyone about how much of a freak Tate was. He was going to tell Tates, dear mommy, that her golden child was actually a depraved, perverted loser who got off on stalking his partner.

✧ He needed to be gone. That was the one thing that ran through his mind. They had gotten into a screaming match that night. Luckily, no one was home except them and the ghosts. The energy was charged and electrified. The Murder House had set its sights on its next victim, and it was more than eager to swallow him whole. The devil in his mind didn't whisper any longer; he shouted. He spoke in a loud and commanding tone and told Tate exactly what to do and when to do it. How to win your affection back.

✧ He snorted a line of cocaine and grabbed his rifle and some gasoline. He lit that fucker up at his work. He was no longer his mother's boyfriend. He was just a charred corpse. He had one problem taken care of. Now, just one more stop—your college, our college. He needed to get rid of those little friends of yours. So, he did. Every single one of them he shot dead in front of you. He looked you straight in the eyes and pointed the barrel at your head. There was no restraint or morality in his hazel eyes. There was only darkness—a certain unhinged spark you had only seen in fleeting moments. Now it was a mighty flame, and it was coming to burn everything you knew to the ground.

✧ He made you beg for your life. He made you like it. He took you right there at that table and acted like it meant nothing. He kissed you deeply and dug his fingers into your living flesh. He knew it would be the last time he would have you in such a way—as long as he was living anyway. You were covered in bite marks and his residue by the time the cops came. 

You heard the next day that they shot him multiple times. You had mixed feelings. They had asked you if he had your consent. You said yes. They didn't believe you. You didn't like that. You didn't like that you liked it so much. You hated yourself for it. You couldn't help but admire the marks he left on you. They were like pieces of art. They'll fade, but the feeling of his fingertips ghosting your body in the most intimate manner won't.

✧ He gets extremely lonely; boredom overtakes him. He still has that box filled with your things, so he's always going through it. It's almost sadistically hilarious. He started with only his fantasies, and now they are the only thing he has again. At least he now knows what your skin feels like and how you taste. You have those things to keep him company. Not to mention, some of your clothes still smell like you. They're his comfort items. If any entity in the house tries to touch them, he will have an immediate meltdown. So, they've all learned to leave him alone when he's having his private time—his fantasies of you, him frenzily groping the cloth like it were your own soft, tender, plush flesh. 

✧ He was surprised when you came to visit the house once again. Tate revealed himself immediately and hung on to you needily. He peppered kisses all over your face and neck. He was so unbelievably relieved by the fact that you forgave him. You promised to visit again and again over the years. It made his soul soar; he almost feared that he had passed onto heaven and that you were only an illusion in his mind. You both did what you always did. You seemed cautious at first, but some part of you just stuck with Tate.

✧ Many seasons passed, and you visited him less and less. You moved on to better and greater things in your life than him. He isn't exactly sure what happened to you. You just stopped visiting him one day. The entire house became a lot more frigid and foreboding after that. There would be no heavy make-out sessions that left the both of you breathless. There would be no more late nights spent talking about everything and anything going on in the world. There would be no seeing your age, your beautiful face, and your figure known only to his mind. There would be none of that. Only him. All alone...

✧ Now, after all these years, he admires a girl who reminds him of his first love. Those tendrils of obsessive ectasy sneak into his heart once again as he hears her name, Violet. It was like the world had regained its color—well, a singular color. One fact about you rang in his mind over and over like a never-ending church bell as he watched the new family move in.

"Oh, my favorite color? It's Violet, silly."

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⟿ taglist: @coentinim @bluerthanvelvet444 @cxndiedvi0lets @doll3tt33 @lacucarachapisser @t4telangd0ns1ut @etheral-moon @evanpetersmybf @evanpeters-posts @fear-is-truth

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[anonymooseforever007]

Romantic Escape

(Tommy Shelby x female reader)

Summary- After being confined to Arrow House for a week because of a small concussion, Y/N is determined to get out. But considering how overprotective Tommy's been recently she'll have to be smart if she'd to make it. To trick Thomas Shelby is a feat many enemies have tried but few have succeeded. But then again, not many of his enemies have the advantage of knowing him the way his wife does...

Or at least they're scared to get that close....

A/N: Hi y'all! No specific TW's for this one other than usual Peaky Violence, Language, and implications of smut (but non actually happens). There is one mention of a past attack but nothing's graphic. Also this was going to be one part, but then I didn't like how the breakup between scenes flowed, so there is a second part going to be posted in a few days probably! Anyways I hope y'all enjoy! ❤️ WC- 3.0k

Romantic Capture (Part 2)

Main Masterlist

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It had been a week and a half since the bad accident occurred. 

Well, your husband called it a bad accident. 

You called it "being a imbecile who'd gotten so distracted trying nicely draw a baby chipmunk out of the house she didn't realize the stairs ended two steps ago."

But in fairness, every other idea for the poor thing your beloved family suggested involved guns or stew. Besides, Thomas Shelby wasn't about to let even his wife herself, label his darling love as a common 'imbecile'....so 'bad accident' it was. 

Truth be told you didn't even think it should be labeled as such. Sure you were dizzy for the first two days, but you only almost passed out when you stood up once. AND there wasn't any blood so you didn't even need to go to a hospital. Polly was insistent it was a mild concussion and a couple days rest would be all you needed. But your husband thought otherwise, and here you were days later, still confined to the premises. 

You'd laughed at the irony of it. Your husband, who once decided to medicate a cracked skull with cocaine, practically ordering you to stay in bed. The hypocrite. Thomas Shelby was an undoubtedly smart man, but when it came to medicinal advice, he should probably have been the last one giving suggestions. 

In the beginning, you could understand why he was worried. Yes, technically you had been "shot" a few months ago, by a rather rude man trying to prove he was more dangerous than your husband. Truthfully, you'd had sewing accidents that bled more. One time when you were 15, you had accidentally sliced the side tip of your left pointer finger off using a pair of scissors. But luckily you father had been a doctor and was able to fix it up at the house with ease. If held up straight though, it did still look like the tip of that finger was slightly crooked, but that's another story. But the man who'd shot you must have been drunk, because even your blind uncle had better aim than him, and all you were left with was a small nick on your shoulder and a small tear in your dress. Yes, it was still terrifying, and both you and you husband still woke up some nights, hearts beating fast with the thoughts of what would have happened if he had better aim. But in the end you were, for lack of better term, just fine. 

That didn't stop your husband from worrying more though. It seemed the incident had flipped a switch in him, often shared by new mothers or teachers, who tended to be hyperaware of everything that could go wrong for their young steeds. For weeks after, Tommy had been on high alert, not even letting you go out with Polly alone, and everyone knew she could handle anyone just fine. Though maybe there were some good points to his overprotectiveness.

For about a month after, Tommy had decided to work from his home office so he could be closer to you just incase. This meant he didn't have to drive over half an hour to the office every day and could spend more time in bed with you in the mornings, something neither of you complained about. Then you spent many of those days in his office with him, working on your own projects or trying to convince him to let you play boss for the day. That idea was a quick no, but it didn't stop you from stealing his coat, sitting in his chair and, pretending to bark out orders to invisible blinders while he went to the bathroom. Nor did it stop Alfred Solomons from laughing like an hyena the time he had called right as you picked up the phone. You still weren't over knowing he heard you (as Tom) threaten to "make a pie out of the testicles out of whatever coward dared feed the horses Scottish hay instead of Irish!".... Luckily it hadn't been the time when him and "Tommy" were planning how to hide their secret affair. 

In the end, Tommy had eventually gone back to working at the office and only the maids were left to witness your "brilliant" impressions. Soon life went back to its usual order... atleast until you'd gotten hurt again. 

At first you thought it would be fun like before, and that you could spend time trying to convince Tommy he'd had better things to do than sign papers all day. Namely you. But unfortunately, it seemed your husband decided that your injuries weren't serious enough to warrant the both of you a bed rest this time. And truthfully, you also didn't mind that too much either. You adored your husband and loved spending time with him, but that didn't mean you didn't have plans that not involving him. Most days were spend either helping the maids around the house, planning the next gala with Lizzie, or going out with your own small friend group. You had plenty of things to do without him. 

That was until you realized for some reason, the things you wanted to do weren't able to be done. For starters, you had a suspicion all the maids and been ordered to politely decline your offers to help with anything, even laundry. They'd simply smile at you and let you know you didn't have to worry about it, before offering to make some tea so you could rest your head. Then it appeared that both of you and Tommy's spare cars were in the shop for "repairs" meaning you'd have no way to out to meet your friends. Yes, they could come over, but still not all your friends were lucky enough to have cars and you were often the one driving everyone around. Not even Esme or Polly were able to come over, as Polly had gone to take care of a sick Ada in London, and half of Esme's lot had their own mini cases of colds. Even Finn who lived with you and Tommy, had gone with Isaiah, Curly, and Uncle Charlie to Wales for the week to bring home the new horse Tommy bought last month. After a week stuck at home it was getting old, and you wanted out.

So you decided to hatch a plan. And because you had a sneaking suspicion he started it, you had a good idea who your unwitting accomplice was going to be....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was now 6:34 and you had made plans to meet Lizzie at a silent film at 8:15. Though some may not have expected it, you got on quite well with your husband's secretary, and the pair of you could often be found going out to lunch on days when Tommy was particularly stubborn, or having tea with the other Shelby women on the weekends, laughing over whatever foolish thing you'd seen that week. It also didn't hurt that your sweet older brother had shown an undeniable interest in Lizzie, which seemed to be reciprocated anytime they'd meet at a Shelby party. You smiled remembering how many questions he'd asked about her after she'd left the night they'd met, or the grin on her face when he'd "run into" the pair of you on the way back from lunch one day and offered her a flower from a bouquet for your mother. What a wonderful coincidence of course, that your mother and Lizzie had the same favorite flower. So it wasn't an unusually occurrence for you to be seeing her, though you had a feeling if you tried to tell your husband, the last car might just happen to be out of gas. Eventually, you simply decided not to tell him and now all you needed was a way to get there...

And at 6:46 that way came rolling up the gravel as your husband finally returned in the only "working" car left. Standing on the front steps with a glass of whiskey in one hand and a blanket over your shoulders, you waited until your husband had stepped out of the car.

"TOMMY!"

Running up to the man, you smiled wide, quickly embraced him, greeting him with a passionate kiss leaving you both warm. Then you handed him the whiskey, letting him hold his briefcase in the other hand.

"Now, I'm not complaining Love, but can I ask what new trinket I bought today, that deserves this kind of welcome?" Tommy inquired cheekily, bending his ear closer to yours as you lead him inside by his tie. 

He knew very well you loved him, and he absolutely loved you, but usually when he came home you were waiting in the living room or helping in the house somewhere. It had become a small game of y'all's too. If he managed to find you before dinner he'd get some kisses and some praises about how fast he'd found you, "your smart love" he was. If he didn't see you until dinner he'd still get kisses but it just wasn't the same. 

You'd never tell him your dogs played the same game when learning to play fetch. He didn't need to know that. 

Besides, it was all in good fun, and an easy way to try and get him home earlier. He could always work after dinner, but one thing you'd practically demanded the night you'd gotten married was that he was always home in time for the last meal of the day. And for the last two years he'd actually kept his promise, except for the days he was out of town on business. Even then you'd convinced him to have what you called "telly dinners". You'd sit by the telephone with your dinner plate on your lap and tell him about your day. While miles away he'd be listening, happy to hear your voice after being with Alfie all day. Hell, one time you'd even gotten impatient waiting for the call and inadvertently interrupted a meeting. You'd ended up having a lovely conversation with the other gangster himself about how his dog was doing, while your husband mumbled about "fucking betrayal on both ends." He didn't really mean it, but he'd always find something just plain odd about the friendship between you and the gruff man. If was as if the two most opposite ends of his world would come together sometimes and try to take a few more years off his life. But if being friends with Alfie made you happy then he'd likely have to deal with him forever. Or at least until he found a way to make the murder look like an accident....

"Can't a wife just be happy her husband's returned home? I missed you."

"And I missed you every second I was away." One thing about Tommy was that he could be quite romantic when he wanted to. And even if he did bottle up his feelings too often, he still had a sweet talk like no other. "But I seem to remember my lovely wife being slightly irritated with me this morning. Something about keeping her in a cage," Tommy rebutted thinking about the small argument you'd both had this morning. 

Yes, he did know that he probably should let up a little on the overprotective precautions he's set up these last few days under the guise of letting you rest. But what he'd not yet told you, is the same day you'd gotten hurt, another enemy had made a threat on your life. And then getting a call, not even an hour later, from Frances about your concussion had thrown him in to a small panic, remembering the last time he'd almost lost you. So he'd taken his chances and used your minor injury as a way to keep you at the house for a few days while he had the man delt with. He knew he should have just told you from the start, but then coming home and seeing you curled up in the master bed, asleep in one of his shirts with a melted ice pack by your pillow, he'd decided to wait. It wasn't until today he'd finally had confirmation the danger was over and he could be sure you were safe. Maybe if your head really was better, he could take you out to dinner to celebrate.... Hopefully that would also soften the inevitable lecture he'd receive upon you learning the truth.

"Well yes I did say that, but I've had time to think, and as long as you promise to make it up to me later tonight, I'll forgive you," you replied coyly, lips brushing his as your words left no room for confusion on exactly how he'd have to make it up to you. "And besides," you said stepping back from him in the front hall, nudging his arm slightly so he'd drink the whiskey, "My head really is feeling better now, so maybe tomorrow we can go out to dinner too. I've been at the house all week you know?"

Tommy drank the whiskey and smirked, spreading his arms open wide as playful show, "With an offer like that how can I refuse, eh love? You want a real romantic escape from this place huh?"

You laughed, before pulling him close again wrapping your arms around him tightly, not giving him the chance to set down his briefcase or the empty glass. After all, if his hands were full, how could he stop you from digging your hands into his coat pockets during the embrace. Loving kisses on his face and neck helped distract him from your less than honest intentions. Well, partially less than honest... you still did fully intend for him to make it all up to you, especially with the small noises beginning to come from his throat as you kissed the small spot beneath his neck he loved. BUT that would happen only late tonight after the movie and maybe a few drinks with Lizzie. 

Quickly but efficiently, you moved a hand under the blanket you'd wrapped yourself in outside, to muffle the noise and pulled back from him again. But this time, Tommy has plans of his own.

"In fact," he said slowly backing you up to the nearest wall, finally putting his case and glass on a nearby table and taking the blanket from your hands. You hopped he hadn't noticed the slight jingle it made when he threw it to a nearby chair. "Why don't we start now," he whispered, beginning to leave light kisses on your neck, "I do have a lot to make up for after all. Telling the maids not to let you help at all, and then I had the cars brought to the shop so you couldn't leave incase you almost passed out again." If he hadn't been kissing your own sweet spot right now you might have pinched his ear and began to lecture him on just that. Letting out one soft moan, you ducked your head to press his lips against yours once again. You pulled him closer and grabbed his tie, taking control of the kiss again.

"Nope Tommy Love, I'm sorry but that can't happen just yet."

Hearing those words your husband frowned as he was the one to pull back lightly this time. 

"Why? Does your head hurt? I can get something if you need it," he asked concerned. Maybe the fall was more serious than Polly said if it was still bad a week and a half later.

"No love, my head's just fine Tommy, but I got a call from Polly earlier, saying there were some papers you needed to get done by 11:00 tonight. They were the ones you neglected when I surprised you for lunch last week and got knocked off the desk," you cooed at him, running your finger down his chest slowly to remind him exactly what kind of lunch it was. Plus, if he got too worried about your head again he may not let you out of his sight, and your plans would be ruined. It was 7:00 now and you'd need to leave soon. "She said they were very important and you really need to finish them. Therefore, I insist that you immediately go to your office and get them finished. And finished properly too, don't just rush it to make time for me."

"Love you know I'd never rush with you,"  and you have a small snort at the truth in those words. "Besides, I guess you do make a point and we wouldn't want to anger my aunt would we," Tommy chucked, knowing at least six things he'd said today to piss his aunt off.

"Exactly, so why don't you go to your office and close the door. I don't want to see you until at least 10:30 Mr. and don't forget to double check spelling. Those papers better be fit for a queen because that's exactly what your aunt deserves," you commented, lightly pushing Tommy towards his office. You had him now. So close!

Tommy smiled lightly and leaned over to grab the blanket from the chair, intending to bring it back in his office where it came from. Shit.

"Eh eh eh," you scolded lightly, stepping in front of the chair and grabbing Tom's wrist lightly right before he could pull it up. "I'm not done with that," you took the blanket from the chair yourself and bundled it to your chest, "You. Office. Now. And remember," you pulled close to Tommy one final time, "after 10:30 when you're done with your work, come and find me. And Tommy?" you teased, teeth lightly biting his ear lobe drawing a small groan from him as his eyes closed, "Tommy I did do some gardening today. Why don't you start by looking places where one can get a little less," you lightly kissed his other earlobe, "dirty? Maybe the bath will still be warm..."

Tommy cursed lightly as you placed one final, deep kiss to his lips before pushing back and sending him on his way. You were still in the front hall when he looked back over his shoulder, waving happily to him. And he was none the wiser that underneath the blanket was your other hand....gripping tightly to his car keys.

Romantic Capture (Part 2)

[pynkgothicka]

Request: can you write where OC who is in the police force/ a detective and trying to catch the world notorious mafia king (no one knows what he looks like). OC found an injured jimin and helped him. Jimin became madly obsessed with oc, stalked oc and kidnapped oc and made oc his

Ｗｉｃｋｅｄ Ｇａｍｅｓ ＰＪＭ

Synopsis - Your a new detective who gets put on a rough case to solve a string of cocaine over doses.

Pairing - Yandere! Jimin x Fem! Reader

Featuring - Toni Braxton, Jackson Wang (Begrudgingly.)

Tags and Warnings - Drug mentions, Kidnapping, Manipulation, Jimin being a little bit mean, sexual tones towards the end

Authors Note - I need to write more mob boss fics. Tis was fun.

A friendly reminder that all my works are dark fanfiction! Please if you do not like that do not read them! These depictions don't pertain to reality. This is your final warning before hitting the keep reading button!!

Your office was blistering cold as you stared at a huge file on your desk.

You were tasked with connecting and solving a string of cocaine related deaths. Your boss, the police chief Toni, had gave you the case hoping to give you experience with a big case rather than a little one for your first case under the detective title.

But the scenes you saw with this case haunted you. Slacked jaws and frothing mouths. All while the environments around them showed their hopeless situation. You felt bad for the men, probably all dealing with addiction.

You were shaken from your thoughts as the door opened, Toni handing in a weeks worth of lab data. “The lab work for the coke came back. All of the various samples provided were all of the same, and get this, were all stronger and more concentrated.”

“That would make sense, all these men who died we're big named in the crime world.” You added standing up, grabbing both badge and gun. “That would make all the deaths planned! I'm going out, doing one last swoop of some of the crime scenes. I think I'm looking past a bigger picture.”

“Well who do you think it is?"

“I don't know. But I think it's a power play thing. I just need to do investigate more! got this!” You said rushing out of your office, leaving a stunned Toni.

She began to look at your board, seeing towards the end of your board a blank face with the name Jimin written in red ink. He had no connection to the case, but you were considering him.

Toni took a deep breath before shaking her head. “This can't be good...God please protect her…”

🔍

As you drove down to the first crime scene, you tried to clarify any leads as who it could possibly be. This has been your focus for the last week, and you had to prove your worth to Toni. It was a personal goal, but hopefully a goal that would be in good favor.

When you pulled into the first crime scene, the place was obviously a party house. The yard and peeking inside, were both messy. Jackson Wang's body was found here, a known crime boss and partier. This was probably one of his go to rental spaces for parties.

You walked past the yellow tape and glanced at the main room. It reeked of booze and death. The table that sat right in front of Jackson's deathbed was still messy as the night of his death. What's a better place to start looking again rather than here?

The table had split drinks, which were now sticky, all over it. But what caught your eye was a brown paper bag. Upon a closer examination, there was a small “P” written on the top. You rose a brow at that. Then you picked it up, looking inside to see more coke.

What drug dealer would mark their works at a and then leave it there once the area became a crime scene? Wouldn't they want to get rid of any connection to the death? More so why hadn't the police picked it up during their first sweep through? Toni was initially over this case, and she didn't seem to be the type to leave crucial evidence behind.

You slipped on a glove and picked up the brown paper bag, putting it into a small zip lock bag you'd brought. Maybe this would be the key to figuring out the cases? You’d just have to visit the other spots and see if the bag was there as well.

Upon your way out you heard a loud gutteral yell. You followed the sound seeing a dark haired man holding his abdomen. He hissed as he slid down the wall. His assailant hurried off, but you didn't have time to chase him up on close inspection of the injured man. Blood began to seep through his shirt.

“Holy shit! Sir, I…I'm going to bring you to the nearest hospital. Just hold onto me while I bring you to my car.” He gave you a small nod, almost as if he had a choice in the matter. You refused to let this man die.

You got down to his side, grabbing his arm to lift him up. You carried his body to the back seat of your car. He kept hissing and groaning, but you settled him down with a cold water bottle you had. “Keep this on or near the wound. It will slow down your blood flow so you don't lose as much.” You then quickly got in and cranked the engine, setting the car to drive.

🔍

Jimin laid in the hospital bed, eyes trained to his right, watching as you slept. The amount of love he held for you, reached no boundaries. Jimin knew he was obsessed, but it's not like he could do anything about it.

Once Jimin saw something he wanted, he had to have it.

Jimin had everything planned out.

The police station was already deep in his grasp majority of them being corrupt and self serving. Especially Toni.

Police Chief Toni Braxton was one of his ex’s. It was a relationship that ended months ago and something he didn't miss. However he knew for a fact she missed him.

All it took was hint the possibility of getting back together. And with that Toni almost immediately to fell into her place for his plan.

“Jimin, I still love you. I know I shouldn't but I do.” Toni told him. He knew if he visited her apartment, she would be all over him again. Which was correct, as she was already on his lap, and he hadn't been there not even 30 minutes.

“Oh baby, I'm willing to bring back what we had. I missed all this.” Jimins hand grasped at her ass hard, knowing she'd bruise. Toni let out a small gasp as Jimin continued. “I just need you to do a small favor for me.”

“Anything for you. You know that.”

“You know that new detective you promoted baby? I want her on my case.” Jimin said leaning into Toni's neck, leaving small hickies.

“Why?” She gasped out. Her hand went to his face, pushing his eyes to meet hers. She placed her forehead on his own, lips almost about to connect.

“You know I don't wanna get caught now? She won't be able to catch me, catch us. Just do it until I get things together, then we can have that life we always talked about.” And with that Jimin connected her lips, sealing his ask with a small hot and heavy makeout.

That marked down Toni, next he needed to play hurt. But he knew he couldn't just fake being seriously hurt. He'd already contacted the hospital about his plan, in hope that they'd receive a small extra shipment of what he has to offer.

So he got one of his guys to stab him in the alley by that dickhead Jackson's place. He knew you'd have to revisit as he made sure to leave some things missing from the initial crime scene. Once Jimin saw you, he waited a few minutes before whispering a small now for his man to stab him.

And it hurt.

It fucking felt like he'd been shot, but ten times worse. The stab wasn't deep but still.

But he was relieved as he saw your worried expression come into view.

All of that hard work led to now, him watching your slumbering face. You'd refused to leave his side upon arrival and he couldn't be more grateful for it. You had such a sweet heart. More so you couldn't see the game he was playing.

He was so rudely pulled from his gaze as Toni walked in, brown locs pulled into a pony tail. She took off her uniform seemingly to present herself to him. Her white button down had a few unbuttoned near the top and her pants hugged her curves just right.

It left such a bitter taste in his mouth.

“Jimin! I heard you were hurt.” She turned around looking at your passed out form in the chair. “She's still here?”

“Yeah. Why are you here Toni? The hospital doesn't play with visitors. They're allowing her to stay as mine right now.” He rambled on.

A lie.

But just maybe he could piss her off enough to where she could go on her own accord. But Toni only came closer hands resting on his shoulder.

“I know, I just worry about you. Shes begun to piece things together.” Toni kissed at his temple. “I just hope she doesn't end up getting hurt. I can't have you go to jail for murder now.”

Jimin shrugged Toni away. “Just not right now. I'm actually fucking hurting and all you can think about is her. Obsessed much?”

Hypocrite.

Toni took a step back before letting out a huff. “Fine. I'll text you later whenever your not being a asshole. Make sure my detective gets back safe.”

Jimin knew damn well he was going to do the exact opposite. In fact she was never going to see him nor you ever again. As soon as Toni walked through the door, she just about secured his and your future together.

“Don't worry baby, I got some men coming get us. It's going to be so nice. I'm happy your played along with all this. I love you.”

[reasonsmandy]

Your special someone

Eddie Roundtree × Fem!Reader

✧.* requested by anon — Hey could u possibly do an imagine with Eddie where y/n is graham and Billy’s sister and she just tours with the band and like one day she’s just sitting out on her own lowkey on the verge of tears cause she’s scared of what Billy’s becoming with his addiction so Eddie sees her and holds her and they have a moment and start to get closer and more touchy with each other (cuddly) and when billy goes to rehab her and Eddie take a trip together to wherever (you decide) and then Eddie confesses that he’s in love with her and she also confesses? You can add whatever u want but that’s just the general basis of it.

✧.* summary — Your brother's addiction to drugs made you more and more worried about him, you looked for a way to make him better, and in that moment of anguish the person who supported you the most was Eddie. And over time your relationship grew into something more.

✧.* warnings — mention of drugs, addicted Billy, maybe some mistakes in the timeline of the book (sorry about that).

✧.* word count — 2.4k

✧.* 🎸 — Eddie's masterlist

✧.* mandy's notes — I love writing declarations of love, this one made my heart warm. Hope you like it <3

Being the sister of two rockstars was the biggest wish of all those people who were screaming for The six out there, but for you your brothers were much more than rock stars, they were what kept you sane, your foundations. Billy, Graham and you were always very close, and since you were little you always took care of each other.

Your love for them was something so big that you didn't have words to explain, even with all the mistakes - especially Billy's - you weren't able to stay upset with them for long.So when they told you they were going to LA to further the band's career your heart almost broke at the thought of being away from them for so long. You then talked to your mother and with the help of your brothers you convinced her to let you go with them.

Being with them throughout this trajectory filled your heart with pride, you could hardly believe that at that moment you were backstage at one of their concerts that was sold out. Words weren't enough to express your pride in them, and seeing them wearing the clothes you made was even more rewarding.

However, as unfortunately not everything is always happiness, you had spent the last days of the tour extremely worried about Billy. The last few days he was clearly overindulging in drugs and booze, even bringing you flashbacks of your father… The fight with Camila had sparked a much bigger drug craving in the older Dunne, he couldn't seem to stop and it was more and more visible.

Graham Dunne: Y/N tried to warn me, but we didn't really understand what addiction was back then. I thought he would recover with time, that it was just a relapse.

Y/N Dunne: I knew he was in bad shape, I didn't recognize my brother anymore... And if I'm honest with you, I was terrified.

Billy was once again snorting another line of cocaine, and watching your big brother do this made your heart clench in frustration.

"Billy, don't you think it's enough?" Concerned, you approach him, touching his shoulder.

"Are you my mother now?" He says rolling his eyes, pulling away from you. "I know when to stop, you don't have to take care of me."

He says as he walks away from you, staggering a little while feeling the effect of what he used. Not knowing what to do, you sit down, worried about what it all could cause later, the consequences of it all. They had just played the last song, the crowd's celebration was thrilling, and you knew you couldn't stay to watch your brother tear himself apart like he always did at the end of every show.

So you decided to take some time alone, you needed to think about how to help him, and since Graham didn't want to instruct you or at least think of something to solve it, you felt helpless… It wasn't like you could call your mother for help, after all she was in Pittsburgh and Billy was old enough for her to be able to force him to stop.

Eddie had become one of your best friends over the years, you were very close and he knew your concern for Billy and how it was affecting you. He had thought and even tried to talk to Billy about it but as usual he didn't listen to the blonde, so all he could do was try to calm you down, make you feel better.

As soon as Roundtree comes down from the stage, his eyes look for you, when he notices your absence he starts to worry because he knew that you always liked to be there at the end of the shows to congratulate them.

"Warren, have you seen Y/N?" the bassist asks.

"No man, did something happen?" Rojas asks, noticing his friend's worried expression.

"Thank you" he says not answering the drummer's question, heading towards the open part of the place hoping to find you there.

It was already half past midnight, the moon lit the streets along with the streetlights and you cried when you thought about the state your brother was in, it's very difficult to see someone you love with all your heart and soul in a situation like that, and the fear of losing him became more and more alive in you.

You sobbed while letting the tears escape, it was as if you were getting rid of, or at least trying to, a weight that had tormented you for many days. You wanted to have the solution for Billy, you wanted to be able to help him but your hands were tied.

Eddie saw you sat with your hands on your face, his chest tightened to see you sad like that, he cared about you in a way he couldn't explain and he hated when anything made you feel bad. The bassist was in love with you for a long time, he loved every detail about you and would probably do anything to see you well.

He approaches you slowly, expecting you to notice his presence, but you didn't. Roundtree reaches out his arm to poke your shoulder, You wipe your tears in an attempt to hide it from whoever was there, but when you notice it was him you smile weakly shaking your head, showing him that you weren't fine… that you needed him there.

"Is it okay if I sit here?" He whispers, waiting for your confirmation.

"Of course Ed'' You reply, holding out your hand for him to take, which he does.

"I hate seeing you like this…" He says, lacing his fingers through yours. "What can I do to help you, love?"

You smile at the nickname, you two had this way of treating each other which you decided not to name, you had a relationship that with all the characteristics could be called loving, but the two of you for some reason didn't want to risk making things different by talking about.

You were very affectionate with each other, hugs, nights sleeping together, cuddling and sometimes some make out sessions.

"I wanted so much to help him Eddie" Without holding back the tears you say, laying your head on his shoulder. "I hate seeing him like this, I feel so useless"

"Oh my love, you do your best for him" He says, enveloping you in a hug where you knew you could feel safe. "If you want I can help you with that idea you had"

Last night while you were in bed, you told Eddie your idea to call Teddy Price to help Billy, you were sure he would listen if it was Price who told him to control himself. The only problem is that you had no contact with him, and you had no idea how to get in contact with him without Billy knowing.

You watch him closely, the tears in your eyes started to fall you felt so supported by him, you know he would always be there for you. Relieved you let out a sigh, hugging him tighter. He hugs you back, stroking your back assuring you as much as he can that he'll be always there for you.

"You can count on me for whatever you need." He says, placing a kiss on your head. "I'll talk to Warren, he might know his number or where he is."

"I don't even know how to thank you." Eddie noticed that you were much more relieved the more you talked.

"I know…" He says smiling, you take your gaze to him. "Let's rest? I want you to be at peace with all of this, I'll sort it out. Do you trust me?"

"With my life" You smile, planting a kiss on the bassist's cheek.

…

It had been a few weeks since Billy had been in rehab, and although the fact that he was away was something that made you anxious you knew it was for his own good and that was enough. With Billy's absence the shows were cancelled, and they had to pass back the money the record company gave them, and with this free time you all took the opportunity to take a break before looking for any job.

Warren was obsessed with the boats that were around there, and he didn't spend a day away from the beach to have any chance of getting on one. Graham spent half his time with Karen, and although they swore no one knew about them, you knew your brother… you knew he was madly in love with her.

And you were now packing your bags for a trip with Eddie, you didn't have a lot of money for an extraordinary trip, but when he told you the idea of ​​going to a cabin just the two of you your eyes lit up with excitement. Eddie and you were in that friends-with-benefits thing, and although you wanted to make it official the fear of losing him spoke louder, after all Eddie was a rock star and rock stars didn't date seriously, you thought.

So besides the invitation to the trip that took you by surprise, you couldn't wait to be alone with him enjoying each other's company.

"Are you ready beautiful?" He asks, wrapping his arms around your waist.

"Almost Eddie, give me just a second" You open the closet, taking a few more things to complete your checklist. "Now I'm ready."

You turn to him, smiling with excitement the blonde places a kiss on your lips and looks you from head to toe

"You are wonderful..." He takes your hand, heading towards the exit with your bag in the other free hand.

After an hour of travel you arrived at the cabin, it was very cozy and would certainly be a great house for you that weekend. Inside, the decor was super characteristic, several vinyl records hanging on the walls, a fireplace with some armchairs around it. Upstairs is just the suite where you were going to sleep, you went up the stairs excitedly throwing yourself on the bed.

"Eddie this is amazing! I'm in love with everything here" You take your gaze to the window behind the bed, which had a wonderful view of the forest and lake beyond you.

"I'm glad you liked it my love" He lays down next to you on the bed, holding your hand he brings it to his mouth to kiss your knuckles. "It's always good to get away from problems with you"

You turn onto your stomach, looking tenderly at the blonde he smiles as he takes a closer look at your face, he was madly in love with you.

"If I could I would stay with you here forever" You approach him, kissing his nose. "So what? What are the plans for today?"

You and Roundtree had spent the afternoon enjoying each other's company, you danced together, he played a few songs while you ventured out to sing a little, then you decided to prepare things for dinner. And now, with only the moonlight illuminating you, the two of you were sitting in the cabin's backyard.

Just you and the noises of nature, you were sharing a bench you snuggled between the bassist's legs getting a cuddle from him, keeping your eyes closed. Eddie watches you, not believing that someone as wonderful as you was there with him, he didn't believe he was the lucky man who had the chance to hold you in his arms.

However, the thought that you could be with anyone else came to the blonde's mind after all... You weren't official. He knew you wouldn't do something without talking to him first, he trusted you, but the thought that someone could have the courage he didn't have to declare himself to you made him despair.

"I need to tell you something" The bassist says, making you open your eyes and watch him carefully.

"You can say it, I'm here for you." You say, smiling in an attempt to calm the boy who had a rapid heartbeat at this point. "You know I won't judge you or anything…"

"Y/N I can't pretend this doesn't affect me in a different way anymore" He lets out, making you startle at his choice of words.

"What do you mean?" You shift in the chair to look into his eyes.

"I can't pretend that I'm not in love with you baby." He concluded, now making your heart skip a beat. "I am in love with every detail that shapes you, I'm crazy about your smile, you're the most talented person I know, and also the kindest person ever...I mean, you can be nice to Billy! This is the hardest thing a human being can do."

He says making you laugh with the last sentence, slapping the bassist on the shoulder saying non-verbally "hey, that's my brother!"

"There is no one that makes me feel the way you do, and you know I'm terrible at showing what I feel, and even worse trying to put my feelings into words, but when it comes to you… fuck, Y/N! I can change the world just to see you smile" He says, bringing his hands to your waist, seeking closeness. "And I would never forgive myself if I let the best person in the world slip through my hands without even saying how I feel. I love you so much"

You can feel a few tears form in your eyes, an involuntary smile appears on your face when you hear those very beautiful words. Eddie Roundtree was the man that made you sigh, in many ways, he was the man that made you feel special, that made you feel safe, he was the person that would not only be there to help you, but to give you support in everything you set out to do. He was your special someone.

Without wasting time you end the distance between you with a kiss, your hands go towards the bassist's neck from time to time taking your fingers to the man's hair, he kisses you tenderly like he wants it to last forever, like he doesn't want to feel you far away anymore.

"I'm crazy for you Eddie" You confess, your foreheads were together while your eyes were closed. "I love you, and I'm in love with you too baby."

Y/N Dunne: Well, Billy was in for a big surprise when he got back from rehab. *Laughing* He was jealous for sure, but he knew deep down that there was no one who made me feel better than Eddie.

Eddie Roundtree: What can I say? I'm in love with her.

...

Hi, I hope you enjoyed it... If you wanted to ask for something my requests are open, and if you want to ask and don't have any ideas check out my prompt list :) xoxo

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[crmsnmth]

A Letter to Someone I'll Never Talk To Again: Part One

Dear "Muppet"

Most people start off a letter by asking how you are, but I don't want to waste words on something that doesn't affect my life. I hope you're doing well, but it's really none of my bsiness in the end. I wish like hell that that wasn't true, but wishes are for wishful thinking. You know me, always the life of the party.

I haven't changed all that much since our time. Okay, that's a lie. I've changed a lot. See after you left, and everyone watched me go down, I vowed to change. That I would someday change back into the person I was at my happiest. I thougth that's what mattered, being happy.

The problem with this fool proof plan was that I was a fool with guesses. I was at my happiest with you, so that means I'll never be that person again. That person is officially dead and buried and his rotting corpse is why my breath stinks to badly in the morning. It leaves a foul taste too.

I knew you were with him during the last month of our relationship. I always wonder if you ever figured out that I figured it out, playing Sherlock Holmes but with a far less interesting story that you already know. I knew he was there while I was at work. And I bit my tongue because I loved you so much. I loved the person I had fallen in love with.

That person I fell in love so deeply with, was different than the one you were at the end. And I guess that's kind of a given fact since you were fucking someone else while we were in our relationship. I've had some bad relationships, the one after you especially difficult, but one thing i can say is that I've never once cheated on any partner I've had. Even if I wanted to, I never did it. Not even has payback. I didn't really give all thought about it.

Why would I? It never mattered what you did. From the very first time you stepped into that bar to the very last time you walked away from me, I knew I was yours. I was yours and I would do anything for you. So I even forgive you for all of this stuff too.

That doesn't mean I wasn't a problem too. I was caught in a delusional world I had built in my head, and I wouldn't get out of it until you left me. I think that was the shock that snapped everything into place. The catalyst, you could say. I was a liar and a con artist with the charisma of Charles Manson. I could get anyone on my side before you. I used those skills. I did it constantly. Tell a lie, something so far off and unreal that was obviously lie, and I'd wait for sometone to take the bait. Once they took the bair, the game was on and I ould try to convince someone that I was right, even when they knew I wasn't. It worked more often than not, and looking back, that frightens me so much. I was so good at it. Either that or everybody was somehow in on the joke. I did it too twice that I can think, but that number should be higher.

I really lost it after you left. And you saw it. The last phone call I ever got from you was the morning after a very awful evening. I don't remember the evening. I was mixing cocaine and being black out drunk. Somehow, I managed to piss everybody off and was taken outside to get the shit kicked out of me. You called the next morning, after hearing abot the beating and my awful behavior. Yout told me your roommate was super pissed at me. I tried to apologize on Facebook and maybe find out what happened, but he read my message and proceeded to block me/ That was it then. That one less than a minute long phone call.

They'll be letters soon, but for now I'm tired and my eyes itch behind my glasses. Time to start the ritual you loved so much in the beginning but by the end hated. And that's how it goes. People change, and there is absolutely nothing one could do. Our time together meant and still means almost everything to me, and at the way it's going, I'll be seeing you when my eyes close for all of eternity. Even without well-respected no contact clause. I almost broke when I came across your picture in a box of random papers. But I didn't. And the number I refuse to delete from my sim card may not even be your number anymore. I've probably gone through 100 different numbers since yo split.

I have to stop now, or I never will.

Love You Until the Sun Explodes, "Peanut"

[final-girl96]

Broken World: Chapter Nine

As soon as Glenn and the man got back, the rest of us went into action. Jacquie and Andrea stayed by the door, T-Dog and Morales took out a few walkers, and I kept watch to make sure no more walkers appeared from the end of the alleyway. The door was closed and locked once everyone was safely inside. The man who Glenn had just saved was wearing a police uniform. Andrea was quick to push him into a table that was near the door and shove her gun in his face. Of course, Andrea, not knowing anything about guns or how to use them still had the safety on. "Andrea, put the gun down," I said.

"We're dead because of you!" She said to the guy before pulling away from him. "I don't understand." He looked around at all of us in confusion. Morales grabbed him by the arm and pushed him towards the store front. "Look, we came into the city to scavenge supplies. You know what the key to scavenging is? Surviving. You know what the key to surviving is? Sneaking in and out, tiptoe. Not shooting the streets up like it's the O.K. Corral."

We stopped and looked at the doors. Walkers were crowding the glass doors, pounding their dead fists against them. "You started shooting and shooting makes noise and noise attracts walkers," I said, nodding towards the doors. "Every geek for miles heard you popping off rounds," T-Sog said. "You just rang the damn dinner bell," Andrea told him. Right now, we were relatively safe. The walkers hadn't broken through the first set of doors yet. Key word being yet.

"Get the picture now, sheriff?" He looked at me and down at the badge and nodded. The glass on the Kotter doors started to crack the more pounding and pressure it received from the geeks outside. I took notice of one of the walkers. It had a large rock or maybe part of brick or concrete in its hands and was hitting it against the glass. We all moved back further into the store. "What the hell were you doing out there?" I asked.

"Trying to flag the helicopter," he said. We all looked at him like him in confusion. "Helicopter? Man, that's crap. Ain't no damn helicopter," T-Dog said. Jacquie looked at him, trying to be gentle. "You were chasing a hallucination, imagining things. It happens." That didn't seem to make him happy. "I saw it," he argued. Morales turned to look at T-Dog and asked if he could try the C.B. to contact the others. He brought it up and tried to tune into the channel.

"Others? The refugee center?" We all looked at the new guy. "Yeah, the refugee center. They've got biscuits waiting in the oven for us," Jacquie said. "Got no signal. Maybe the roof," T-Dog said. Just as he finished, we heard gunshots. "I'm going to fucking kill Dixon," I mumbled. We all ran towards the stairs to the roof and quickly ran up them and out the door. Merle was standing on the edge of the building, shooting down at the walkers.

"What the actual fuck are you doing, Dixon?!" I yelled. He hopped down and looked at me. "You are such a fucking asshole! What the hell is wrong with you?" He spread his arms out and laughed a little. "You outta be nicer to a man with a gun, sugar tits!" Before I could say anything T-Dog said something and then that turned into a fight and Merle trying to make himself the one in charge. That's when me and the new sheriff that strolled into town on a horse took care of him.

Merle was now handcuffed to a piece of metal. I knelt down in front of him and went through his pockets. "Oh, well, look here! Well, that's no surprise." I stood up with a small little bag of cocaine that I found in his pocket, walked over to the edge, and threw it over the side. "Hey, that was my good shit!" I went back over and bent down to look at him. "Yeah, you got some right…." I flicked the tip of his nose. "There."

I walked away and back over to look over the side of the building. The street was covered in a blanket of dead people shuffling around until something living caught their attention. I saw Morales talking to the sheriff for a few minutes before he walked over to stand beside me. “How can I help you, sheriff?” I asked. He sighed and leaned on the edge where we were standing. “Sheriff's Deputy, actually. Name’s Rick,” he said, holding out his hand.

“Y/N. Homicide detective for Atlanta PD, but I started off as a police officer back in my hometown. What brought you all the way here, Rick?” I asked. “I’m looking for my wife and son. Heard there was supposed to be a refugee center here in the city. I was hoping I would find them there.” I hummed in response. “Yeah, It was here at one point, but it didn’t last long. It lasted maybe a week before it all turned to complete chaos. The dead outnumbered the military by a lot. It all fell…so quickly. When they finally figured out that they wouldn’t be able to control it, they bombed the city.”

We talked a little more before we all started to talk about how we were going to get out of here. Jacquie had mentioned that she used to work in the city's zoning office and suggested we try the tunnels. So, a few of us went down to the basement. I stayed up on the roof with T-Dog, who was trying to get in touch with the group back at the quarry, and Merle. "Hey, sweetheart, why don't ya let your old pal out these handcuffs, huh?"

"Shut up, Dixon, you did this to yourself," I said. He scoffed and spit to the side. "Daryl ain't gonna be too happy when he hears about this," he said. I knew what he was trying to do, and it wasn't going to work. "I don't give a shit what your brother thinks, Merle." I was glad when the rest of the group came back. Unfortunately, we weren't able to get out through the tunnels, but Rick did come up with an idea after asking more questions about the walkers.

"They see you or smell you, they catch you, they eat you." Morales said. "Can they tell the difference from smell?" Rick asked. "Can't you?" Andrea asked. "They smell dead, we don't. It's pretty distinct," I told him. After looking over the side of the roof, he made a decision. We left Merle up on the roof and headed back downstairs where we brought Rick in.

The plan was to cover him and Glenn in guts from a walker. Nobody enjoyed it. We had to cut the walker open, and then we started spreading the guts on him and Glenn, who wore lab coat type coats. We all also wore gloves and protective eyewear. Once they were all covered and out the door, the rest of us rushed back up to the roof to watch them navigate through the walkers filled streets.

[powderblueblood]

If there’s a future where Lacy and Eddie split but won’t ever let go then I’m a motherfuckin Eddie Munson is a wedding crasher truther!!!

Lacy gets her life somewhat back on track and is getting hitched to the Ivy League dullard she was always destined for had she not gone broke and fell from grace.

Eddie crashes the hen party and they fuck but afterwards he just can’t say the words and Lacy is once again disappointed. On the big day he finds the words and is ready to say them but will Lacy be too pissed that it’s 1. too late and 2. he’s embarrassing her on her day and infront of everyone she knows

OR will she be fleeing in the passenger seat of a roofless vintage car, custom Westwood veil blowing down the highway with her forever partner in crime?

Either way Ronnie is stood infront of a crammed church trying to desperately think of an excuse for a runaway bride.

now mona you fucking listen to me

when did you crawl into my brain in the middle of the night and read my thoughts. are you in my walls. are you under my bed!!!!

couple fuckin things this made me think about which maybe god knows maybe i will write to full fruition one day but for right now.... christ

so. eddie, a year or so grown out of the buzzcut he had at twenty-whatever (which could've been the last time lacy saw him, the last time she didn't have any hair to run her fingers through when he went down on her so she had TWO things to feel crushing regret about when they were done) (the first one... letting him eat her out in the first place obviously), disguising himself as a cater waiter at her bachelorette. lacy is the kind of person to have cater waiters at her fancy bachelorette.

ronnie 110% snuck him in because naturally she hates lacy's new fella and knows that lacy actually hates her new fella.

also did the last time lacy hooked up with eddie cause her to actively spiral and purposely set a marriage trap with the first dumb boston blue blood she could find (answer: yes).

anyway eddie now looks like this (actively trying to grow his hair back out...) and fucks her on a pool table of the country house she's celebrating at.

(by the way, the only theme for lacy's bachelorette is 'gambling' (secret secondary theme: 'guns') (secret third theme: 'cocaine').)

there's an exchange (mid-fuck, while he's ball deep in her, mind you) that goes something like --

"what do they call you now?"

"my name."

"and what's that?"

"... lorelei." "lorelei. lorelei, that's not your name. your name's not lorelei, it's got forty fucking vowels and a shitty backstory. what's your name?"

she hisses. this tight sound. tight as the grip she's got on him.

"what's your name?"

"... lacy."

hearing it fucking unhooks him totally. he groans her name, the one that feels like her, into her ear over and over and over. lacy, lacy, lacy.

"lace, ah, fuck--"

she tries to press a yelp into his shoulder but he's so close and so attentive and he never lets up. never misses a single sound, the fucking asshole.

"and what's my name?" voice splits on the last syllable. "what's my name?"

"eddie," she's all strangled, high heels tearing the cloth top of the pool table. urging him deeper. "eddie, eddie, eddie-- oh god--!"

"that's fucking right. that's fucking right-- and who do i belong to?"

he can hear the curse on her breath. "-- no one."

"liar," he knows how desperate he sounds, "don't fucking lie. look at me, look. who do i belong to?"

the sweat beading across his brow. he presses his forehead hard against hers. trapping her. she can't escape him. never could. he's in the seams of everything. so is she.

"who?"

"me."

"christ, that's fucking-- right-- i belong to you. i'm all yours."

as far as the actual crashing of the big day itself, GUARANTEED lacy warned him not to come near the fucking place or she'd kill him on sight. and this time, the one fucking time in the history of the world, he actually listens.

and lacy is enraged, duh.

she leaves her groom at the altar and guns that rented rolls royce to the nearest motel six she's positive eddie has parked the van outside of to sleep in

also, speaking of guns. she has one. a hunting rifle that she aims right between eddie's legs and she's all,

"you stood me up! you humiliated me!"

eddie, on the verge of pissing his pants naturally because did i mention she has a gun pointed at his dick, "what are you talking about, i did exactly what you told me to do!"

"and since when do you ever do that! huh!"

"so, what, i was supposed to ride on in there--"

"yeah!"

"--guns ablaze--"

"yes!"

"--and beg for you to come with me?! is that it?!"

"exactly! wasn't that your plan?"

"i mean--"

"oh, jesus, eddie, the only thing more embarrassing than you crashing my wedding is you not crashing my wedding! that's high fucking treason, you rat bastard piece of shit!"

eddie swallows, because she can't find a veil opaque enough for him. he sees right through, right to the heart of how badly she hoped he'd show up.

and then he did, and then he went and fucked her over again. because he's a coward.

"and if i did that... if i went through the pantomime of it all... you w--... you would've come?"

lacy goes quiet. aim's still true.

because she might want it real bad, but can she let herself have it? this, with him? the uncertainty of it all, even if the bedrock is truer than anything she's ever felt?

she's a coward too, y'know.

this grin unspools on eddie's face. levity boy. "well, i mean, you always come, but--"

tcch-tch. the gun cocks, and his cock twitches. you get the picture.

[aectpen]

STRAWBERRY ✯ 𝙕𝙃𝘼𝙉𝙂 𝙃𝘼𝙊!

m.list

synopsis: 𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐚 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐮𝐧𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐲𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐢𝐝𝐨𝐥

pairing: Zhang Hao of ZB1 and fem!oc

status: ongoing

chapter 10: she knows

as he had promised, hao secured a front-row ticket to the concert for rina. he chose to deliver it discreetly during her shift at the convenience store, which happened to be at its busiest. whenever these two met in even mildly crowded environments, their behavior became unbelievably suspicious. one might assume that the ticket he was passing to her was a bag of cocaine.

as Rina sat, waiting for the concert to start, she couldn't help but feel a sense of unease. the only other time she had attended a fan event featuring him was when she didn't realize they were acquainted. now, with that knowledge in mind, she felt somewhat awkward sitting with a group of people who were enthusiastically gushing about seeing jebewon. When it came to him, her excitement made her feel a bit jittery.

"hey! do you bias zhang hao?" the girl next to her asked, holding out a zhang hao banner.

"no!" rina replied promptly. her nervousness made her feel as though almost everyone was onto them, even though in reality, only haemin and his fellow group members were privy to their relationship.

the girl gave her a quizzical look. "i just assumed he was your bias since you have his photocard." 

rina hesitated for a moment, then scratched the back of her neck. "oh, yeah, i guess i do like him, yeah." she accepted the banner with a slight smile.

once zerobaseone took the stage, rina tried not to seem too excited. she knew dating an idol wasn't easy, and that there's always a possibility of someone connecting the dots. but 30 seconds in she realized she was about as relevant as an needle in a haystack. and decided to enjoy herself.

several of the group members, including hao, made their way over to her side of the stage to engage with the audience. rina couldn't help but smile and wave with the same enthusiasm as the people around her. she knew that once he had his phone in hand, she wouldn't hear the end of it from him.

hao scanned the area, searching for his girlfriend as he mentally tallied the seats, committing the number on her ticket to memory. when he reached her seat, he immediately noticed the expression on her face. she gazed back at him with a look that clearly conveyed, "i know you were searching for me, you're not slick."

hao playfully formed hearts for the crowd while keeping unbroken eye contact with rina, even adding a few winks for good measure.

"am i dreaming, or is he looking directly at me?" the girl next to her nudged and whispered.

"yeah, totally!" rina laughed.

after the concert was over, rina waited around the venue lobby scrolling though her phone. she wanted to leave when the area cleared up.

"rina?" she recognized that voice instantly. 

"hey," she forced a smile, still feeling a bit miffed about being brushed off earlier. 

"i didn't see you. you must've been far back," haemin chuckled. 

"no, actually, i was far front," she replied, mustering another smile. rina waited for haemin to introduce the friend she had brought along. 

"oh, this is hyemi. hyemi, meet rina," haemin introduced the two.

"nice to meet you! i’m going to the bathroom," hyemi excused herself, leaving them alone. 

"so," haemin began, her tone tinged with a hint of bitterness, "are you sticking around to be with him?" 

rina sensed the tension and decided not to delve into this topic. "i'm just waiting for it to get less crowded, that's all. why do you ask?" 

"nothing, i just assumed you might be staying back to be with him," haemin replied just as hyemi rejoined them. 

rina fell silent, not wanting to discuss her relationship with Haemin present.

"it's okay; she knows," haemin assured, putting her arm around hyemi.

 "she knows what?" rina knew for a fact she couldn't mean what she thought she meant.

"about you and zhang hao." haemin whispered

rina felt tears welling up in her eyes. if you had told her just a few months ago that she would be in this situation, she would have thought you were crazy. she couldn't fathom why haemin would disclose this to someone, especially someone she couldn't tell from a can of paint. the secrecy of dating an idol was challenging on its own, but having people she couldn't trust aware of it made the situation a thousand times more difficult to conceal. haemin's actions now confirmed her initial hesitation to reveal her friendship with hao.

"i don't understand," her voice just barely above a whisper.

"your secret is safe with me." hyemi winked.

unable to handle the information, she simply walked away from them. who knew such a  short interaction would cause such stress.

"rina!" haemin called after her. 

she turned back, her expression still visibly annoyed. 

"goodbye!" hyemi chimed in this time.

later that night, rina craved solitude as she wallowed in her own sorrows. her best friend had betrayed her trust, and it was difficult to comprehend. she couldn't believe she had ever felt guilty about not confiding in haemin about the fact that "strawberry" was, in fact, zhang hao. She had hoped for a typical relationship with him, but now she'd have to be even more discreet.

[facetime] haohao

before accepting the call, rina swiftly wiped away her tears and patted her face.

"hey, baby!" he exclaimed with a wide, beaming smile.

"so, we're using pet names now?" rina chuckled.

 her lighthearted tone couldn't conceal her true condition from hao. 

"what's wrong?" he observed her puffy eyes and hoarse voice.

"nothing's wrong, baby."

"i won't stop asking," he persisted.

"it's just haemin, it's nothing." she shrugged. "she's just been pissing me off lately. let's talk about something else."

"okay, okay. how about we talk about you jumping up and down with a zhang hao banner." hao looked up as if he was recalling something.

"um, no! you  must have me mistaken with somebody else." she shook her head. "i think i saw you making heart eyes at this one girl in the crowd, though. if i remember correctly. "

"you got me there. there was this really hot girl in the crowd and had to stop and stare." he pursed his lips.

rina laughed at his whole bit. "now i do admit i kinda liked this dude named zhang hao. he is talented, cute,  and thoughtful. i just couldn't resist."

"what are you smiling at?" someone called out from behind hao's phone. they swiped his phone and ran away while hao chased them.

"hey! give me my phone!" he shouted, trailing close behind the culprit. the person must have locked themselves in a room.

the person revealed themself to be gunwook with taerae and yujin. 

"hi rina!" yujin waved with a grin.

"so this is hao's girlfriend." taerae emphasized the word girlfriend with a playful tone.

"you are way out of his league." gunwook laughed.

"well nice to meet you too." rina gave an air handshake. rina was amused by the cries in the background from hao begging for his phone back. "i think you guys should give his phone back, he might die."

once he got his phone back he showered her with apologies. "i am so sorry you had to endure that, those little brats."

"i think they're adorable." she poked out her bottom lip.

"traitor!" he crossed his arms.

the two continued their friendly banter throughout the night, drifting off to the sound of each other's breathing. by the night's end, rina had completely pushed her encounter with haemin and hyemi out of her mind. hao had a way of reminding her that they were the only ones who truly mattered in their relationship. despite the potential risks, she had no intention of letting fear of others discovering their relationship come between them.

[no-saints-around-here]

*Me looking for baji in panty sniffing hcs* is he not a filthy panty sniffer like the others???

Link to relevant sniffing HCs

Masterlist

‎‎

No no, you right anon, Baji is definitely one of us filthy souls, but I kinda ran out of time to write him in...

Baji is still hella shy and skittish when it comes to women no matter how old this boy gets, even more so when it comes to you - you know his ma raised him to respect (and fear) women from young. No doubt Baji tries his best to live up to that expectation how ever difficult it may be when he is around you, though there's only so much resistance you can expect a boy like him to be able to put up before he succumbs to the temptation, the allure of you. Just wants you, needs you so bad to the point that simply jerking off to pictures and his memory of you - your sweet scent from when your hair brushed his nose, the softness of your hand in his - from earlier in the day no longer brings enough satisfaction or pleasure. Baji needed more.

Can't even bear the sinful thought of kissing you without almost imploding with a mix of shame and squeamishness, its his (very accidental, very unplanned he swears on his soul) glimpse of your panties lying on the floor of the room while you were in the shower that wriggled into his head. Unusual, given that you weren’t in the habit of leaving your clothes strewn all over, but its the sight of the exposed crotch of your used underwear that had him suddenly wondering what it smells like. The instant flood of guilt and shame at having such a perverse thought had Baji fleeing the scene with a reddened face, burying himself in his comics and shows in an effort to stop fucking thinking about your panties. Doesn’t help when you come wandering over asking if he was going to dinner, and once more the thought of the crotch of your panties pressed firmly against your pretty pussy makes his blood rush in the wrong direction.

Yet for reasons beyond him, Baji finds that the idea of your panties are just detached enough from your person to be able to stomach stealing borrowing them to relieve his pain. Its just a piece of cloth after all, albeit one that is a bit more intimate - but still just another cloth. You wouldn't really mind much, right? This boy does everything he can to convince himself that it was really fine to help himself to your dirty panties from the laundry bag, though he ultimately just grabs the first one he finds and then beats a hasty escape not just from the room, but from the house in general. Cannot even start to think about what would happen if you catch him red-handed: Baji thinks he might drop dead on the spot from shame.

Almost forgets that he is carrying your panties around in his hand in public as he tries to get to somewhere more private so that he can have his fun time, until he realizes that the other guys that kept turning back to look at him probably caught a glimpse of your underwear that is sticking out from his grip. Which is when Baji quickly stuffs it into his pants pockets.

The first sniff is almost like a sniff of cocaine to Baji, hand already stuffed down his open pants and clenched around his very hard, very erect dick. Couldn't stop his groan of pleasure in time - it's actually heaven. This boy is 100% behind at least two layers of locked doors and one more to which he can only access, but is still paranoid about getting caught. Buries his nose into the crotch, mind once more wandering back to you and just how perfect you are for him. If your underwear was this intoxicating to begin with, Baji couldn't even begin to imagine the source smelt like - it should be illegal for anyone to smell this good. Cums all over his pants and the floor in just a few minutes, but Baji just keeps going and going, everything about you flooding back into his head. Those gentle smiles that you flash at him, the way your eyes light up when he comes to pick you from school, there was nothing about you that this black-haired boy didn't like.

Takes immense effort and mental preparation to not wrap your panties around his length and cum all over them, but Baji for once manages to control himself. After all the effort he went through to take these, he doesn't quite want to return them just yet, you know? Your smell is still strong, and he really would like to (secretly) wash them clean and get rid of any taint, real or imaginary, he leaves on something so intimate before returning them to your drawer. With his perception of you still being this innocent, naive girl who knew nothing better of the darker world out there, Baji would not allow anyone to corrupt you and what he loved so much about you, and that included him as well.

[ch3rrysuck3r]

hiiii. i saw you write for lucifer (netflix) and i was wondering if you could write some lucifer x reader angst. like something where maybe reader is one of chloe's collegues and lucifer takes great interest in her but she thinks he hates her because he tries not to show his interest. something like she ends up getting taken as a hostage on a bust when they had to split up and lucifer like gets her and they have the whole "i thought you hate me" "oh darling, i could never hate you" thing? i hope this isnt too picky.. thank you so much!! 🧃

III LOVE YOUU. thanks for requesting for my unproblematic devil, i love this!!! not too picky at all darling, let your mind flow!!! here u got 💌

(I changed it only a teeny tiny bit, but I hope you enjoy nonetheless. I also made Y/N the forensic scientist, sorry Ella, ily!!!!!)

Not what it seems

"So, what have you got, Y/N?" Chloe says as her and Lucifer walk into the lab.

"Not much," I glare at Lucifer, who's messing with the evidence, and he stops. "there are traces of cocaine on the victim's jacket, tho."

"Well, someone liked sniffing around." Chloe and I both ignore the joke.

"Yet, he had none in his system. And no history with drugs, either."

"Right, so, maybe someone who messes with them is guilty." Chloe nods at his observation and starts walking away.

"I'm going to look more into it, see if I find people in that business that were connected to him." She exits, closing the door behind her.

I go back to work, until I notice Lucifer lingering over me as I go over evidence for the fifth time today.

I turn to look at him. "Everything alright, Lucifer?"

"Me? Of course."

"... Alright then. I'm going back to the crime scene, see if I find anything else."

As I start to walk towards the door, his hand catches my wrist, making me turn to him.

"Yes?"

"Um, I...just be careful, alright?"

I don't know what to say, instead, I just furrow my brows and part my mouth.

"It's just, the detective wouldn't like anything to happen to you."

I nod, now understanding what this is actually about.

"...Right. Yeah, I'll be okay."

I release myself from his grip and make my way towards my car.

After a short drive I arrive to the victim's house, seeing the yellow tape wrapped around the area. I leave the vehicle and start walking to the entryway when I feel a pair of gloved hands hold a cloth against my nose.

————————————

My head feels light and my mouth dry as I slowly peel my eyes. There is no light and I have no idea for how much time I've been out.

"You shouldn't have gone back."

I try to search for the source of the voice, but I can't see anything and I can't tell wether it's the darkness or the state of dizziness I'm in.

"What do you want with me?" My voice is hoarse and barely hearable, but I receive an answer anyways.

"With you? I want nothing with you. I just wish you hadn't been so curious, then I wouldn't have to do with you what I have to do now."

Just as I see a masked figure walking towards me from the dark, I hear two gunshots. The man walks away to look for the source of them, and then I hear Chloe's voice.

"You get Y/N and I'll get the killer." She shouts to another person, which I'm assuming is Dan.

I remain seated with my legs tied to the chair and my arms behind my back. I hear running steps, and once I see their owner, I can't help but feel a little safer.

"Y/N!" He releases a breath I didn't know he was holding, and, by the look on his face, I assume he didn't know either.

His loolk lingers on my face for a second too much, but he is quick to start untying me. Once I'm free, he helps me up to my feet.

His hug catches me by surprise. "Are you okay?"

"I-im fine." I find myself leaning against his touch and releasing tension I also didn't know I was holding in.

"Lucifer, did you find her?" We hear Chloe's voice echo.

'Y-yes, I found her, detective."

"Okay, leave!"

"What?" I ask this time.

"Just leave, get her somewhere safe."

Lucifer's hand meets mine and we rush out the door. Once we meet the moonlight, we are breathless from running.

"You should probably get some food and water. Lux is only a few blocks away, do you mind walking?"

"I can just get a cab home, it's fi-"

He cuts me off and repeats his question, pausing after every word. "Do you mind walking?"

"No"

He nods. The walk to his penthouse is quiet and calm, as the ride on the elevator. I sit on the couch as he takes off his jacket as throws it on top the piano. He makes his way behind the bar and pours two glasses of whiskey.

"You should probably have some water, too."

"It's fine. I'm fine, Lucifer. I don't need anything"

"Well, of course you do, love."

My stomach flips at the casually thrown nickname, but I make sure not to show it nor look his way.

"Is everything truly fine, Y/N?"

"Yes, it's fine. So fine I should get going."

"Is there something you're not telling me?"

"Is there something you're not telling me?"

"I-" I can see his mind debating whether or not he should actually tell me anything he's thinking about. "Are you really that clueless?"

He walks towards me, shortening the space between us. He is so close to me I can see the glint in his eyes and the way his lips open and close as he breathes.

"W-what?" My chest rises up and down, nervous about our proximity.

His eyes linger on my lips and search for an answer in my eyes. An answer to what, that I don't know. I try to take in all of him, knowing this is as close as Lucifer will ever get to being as vulnerable as he is right now. Both physically and emotionally.

After a few seconds, we both can't take it any longer. I crash my lips against his'. They move in syntony, like it was a habit. Not even a minute goes by and we have to pull back to catch our breaths. Our chests rise and fall together and I can hear his beating heart.

"I have been waiting ages to do that."

"What?" I open my eyes to see him already looking at me, with a surprisingly adoring look on his eyes.

"I have been waiting ages to do that. To kiss you, feel you."

"I...thought you hated me."

"Oh, darling," the back of his hand meets my face, pushing away a few strands of hair and tucking them to my ear. "I could never hate you."

His lips meet mine once again, both of his hands grabbing the back of my neck. He starts walking backwards and I follow, not breaking the kiss.

Suddenly, the moment is broken by a ringing phone.

We break the kiss, once again, and he fishes his phone out of his pocket, answering the call.

I can hear a voice on the other side, frantically speaking.

"Yes, yes, she is fine, detective." He smiles at me. "Alright, we'll be there in five."

[inzaghisgirlfriend]

Vincenzo drabble about wanting... posted here because I need to get off Twitter once and for all

--

He wants his mother.

He's four years old, and the sudden sound of thunder scares him.

And, just like that, before he even has to call for her, she's come and holds him close, drawing her fingers back and forth across his back and saying his name into his hair, and the fear is gone and he wants to stay awake a little longer so he can just feel it all.

--

He wants his mother.

Calls and calls and calls for her.

Cries.

She doesn't come.

He doesn't know these people. He just wants her.

Wants her, and she doesn't come.

--

He wants to fit in.

To speak the language in a way that doesn't make his classmates snigger or ask him a sarcastic che.

To master this.

To be good.

--

He wants to tell his Mamma he loves her.

Because he does.

Only every time he tries, he thinks of Eomma. And all the reasons he cannot.

--

He wants revenge. And nothing more.

--

He wants power.

Fabio's seen something in him that no one before ascribed any value to. He taught him how to harness and hone his rage into something useful. Something punishing.

And he wants unfettered access to those who deserve to feel it.

--

He wants to feel something again. Anything.

He's tried everything he can think to to make it happen - fighting, alcohol, cocaine, women, men. Nothing registers.

But the want doesn't go away.

So he keeps trying.

What does it matter, after all, if he destroys himself in the process?

--

He wants - no, needs - to stop feeling.

After the little girl clinging to the teddy bear, he can't turn any of it off.

--

He wants to help Fabio.

He knows the man is dying. Has a legacy to consider. A family that will live on beyond him.

But.

He also wants out. Forever.

Nearly every conversation they have becomes a lie he hates telling.

--

He wants to thank Paolo for the first time in his life. For giving him an escape. An excuse.

--

He wants his fucking gold. And nothing more. He hates this country.

--

He wants to see his mother wearing prison clothes.

Wants to see the look on her face when she finally remembers him.

When it's his turn to leave her behind with strangers who don't care.

--

He wants her - the attorney's daughter.

He shouldn't.

He won't do anything about it, of course. He doesn't need complications.

--

He wants to kill the people who ordered the hit. For the first time since the little girl, he wants - craves - revenge.

--

He wants her not to care so much about him. He's trying very, very hard to do the same.

--

He wants to kiss away the worried wrinkle between her eyebrows. And a cleaner hand to touch her with than the one that disobeys him and makes its way to her shoulder.

--

He wants to find a way out of doing this; he wants her never to know how much he wants to kiss her.

But when he turns, she pulls him close. And presses her lips to his.

--

He wants to kiss her again. He will not.

--

He wants to thank a bird for saving his life.

--

He wants her to hate him. It's the only good he can hope give her.

--

He wants to stop himself from making the promise he does about returning to her. He also wants to refuse her nothing.

The latter wins easily, the way it always does.

--

For the first time in nearly thirty years, he wants his mother.

Wants to eat bunggeopang together and call her Eomma again.

--

He wants the people who took his last chance away from him to suffer.

--

He's buried his mother a second time and wants to cry. She sits beside him and lets him, her arm around him, fingers lightly stroking along his back.

--

He wants her to know she's only one he'd ever fall to his knees for. Curses the way she turns around and does the same for him moments later.

--

He just wants to sit beside her a little bit longer.

Listen to her breathing.

Keep his stupid mouth from saying everything else he wants to say.

--

He wants her to know Jan Han Seok didn't go comfortably. But she told him to go - to leave without making further contact, and, as usual, what she wants wins out.

--

He wants to forget the way the moonlight reflects the the tears in her eyes.

He wants her to forget him.

But never to forget her.

--

He wants to think that Fabio would forgive him for killing his flesh and blood.

--

He wants his men safe.

--

He has all the power he's ever wanted now.

He hates the way Fabio was right about the way it solves nothing.

--

He wants his family to be different than it was.

All men.

Few who looked like him.

So many other things that simply weren't allowed.

Luca reminds him he needs only say the word to make it so.

So he does.

And they shift focus.

--

He wants an island.

So he buys one.

--

He wants to get word to her that he's alive.

He chooses a postcard so he doesn't say anything he shouldn't.

Worries she'll hear it anyway.

--

He wants to send a second one - for her to understand that this is his way of telling her to let him go. To live her life. To forget him.

--

He wants to think there's no harm in sending another.

And another after that.

--

He wants to drink the wine he discovered that she's named after him.

Instead, he imagines tasting it on her lips.

Wants not to, but cannot stop himself.

--

He wants to see her win. And watches for it from afar.

Wants to thank her for clearing his mother's name.

--

He wants to stop having the same irritating conversation every few days - for Luca to shut up and understand why it won't work.

To leave him to his misery in fucking peace.

--

He wants to see her one more time.

Only so life doesn't make a liar of him.

He'll use it say goodbye to her. Give her closure so she can move on. If she hasn't already.

He wants to be the kind of man who hopes she has.

He is not.

--

He wants their kiss to never stop.

--

He wants to punch the smug smile off Luca's fucking face.

But it's infectious, the bastard, and he catches it and just pours them both another drink while slurring something sarcastic in the direction of the sunset about his right hand man needing a new goddamned hobby.

--

He wants her here right now. It's been two goddamned weeks since Seoul, and he doesn't want to wait another two.

--

He wants to exercise patience enough to wait, at least, until she's settled in and rested.

Or, even, perhaps, simply past the goddamned dock.

--

He wants her a second time - before his heart's even slowed back down again from their first.

--

He wants to make this thing between them work.

--

He wants to thank a God he hasn't spoken to in years for the way it does, all on its own.

For the way he gets something good that he's never deserved.

--

He's three weeks past forty now, and the sudden and distant roll of thunder has him looking up from the work spread across his desk.

The aquamarine water is darker without the sun shining down upon it, and it meets an uncommon roiling and inky blue sky at the horizon.

A hand comes to rest upon his shoulder, and he leans into the touch. He wonders a moment whether she knows he's always been afraid of storms.

She cuts off the thought by talking, telling him a story she says her father always told her - a legend about a bird who lived in the heavens and had the power to punish evil by dropping lightning bolts onto his enemies on the ground.

He looks up in time to see her smiling fondly, recalling the way Hong Yu Chan chuckled and then scolded her for saying she wanted to be that bird when she grew up someday.

She sees him looking and smiles back down at him. Says storms always remind her of him, of them, now.

Laughs out loud when she adds, "And Inzaghi, too, of course."

It's then that he realizes that life has led him, inexplicably and undeservingly, to a place where he wants for nothing he doesn't already have.

[saltygilmores]

THOUGHTS WHILE WATCHING GILMORE GIRLS-SEASON 3, EPISODE 1: LAZY HAZY CRAZY DAYS (PART 3)

We now return to your regulary scheduled Paris Geller Nuclear Anxiety Attack, already in progress. Parts 1&2 and all other episodes can be found in my pinned post.

"Just to end up on a date with a guy without a Zagat and we end up in a restaurant that's just a front for a cocaine ring?" But enough about Luke's Diner. I KID I KID!! It was too easy. All the money laundering is going on next door at Doose's. Paris thought Luke's was a front for prostitution, though.

Paris asks the girl who is dating Dean Forrester how a person knows they're compatible with someone else, which is funny because nobody has figured out why Dean and Rory are still together. Here's a full list of the things Rory considers when it comes to compatiblity: 1.Someone who reads the same books, watches the same movies, and likes the same music 2.But someone who is not boring 3.You respect each other's opinions 4.You laugh at the same jokes 5. Someone who is not boring again Girly is definitely not talking about Dean Forrester. Dean can't read, doesn't listen to music, and in order for him to agree to watch a movie Rory wants to see, it involves 14 rounds of negotiations, he has never respected her opinions, he has never laughed at her jokes or made her laugh plus Rory's got that dreamy Thinking About Jess Mariano look in her eyes. Actually, let's face it, she's thinking about how much she loves Jess and how much she loves Paris simulatenously. The Throuple of all our dreams.

Oh, the way Paris looks at Rory, while Rory tenderly brushes her hair. Jamie who?

But she's already there. She's already there. AmyShermanPalladino has never met a "Get in the closet" joke she didn't like, but the timing of this one was just, ugh, impeccable. (Of course, there's another famous Closet Shoving coming up later in this season). Even though Jamey WhiteBread has known Rory for weeks, Paris worries that in the right light, Rory's breathtaking good looks will knock Nyquil off his feet and make him forget Paris exists. Okay, sure.

STOP I NEED AIR.

Go away, you bozo! Take your fucking Zagat guide and your dorky restaurant reservation and scram! Meawhile, Rory has retreated so deep in the closet that no light can penetrate it. She continues to pen her totally non sexual, non aching Letters to Jess.

Meanwhile back in The Heterosexual Hollow, Sookie and Lorelai continue to let the gay jokes fly and discuss a hetereosexual wedding that did not come to fruition. Richard and Emily have been away for the entire summer in Martha's Vineyard and they don't know that Lor and Crusty went kaput.

If this took place in 2023, Sookie would love Tinder.

Welcome to BizzaroLand Airport, which is probably a leftover set that once stood in for a doctor's waiting room. The tiniest and cleanest airport with minimal security a year after 9/11.

LOL, Lorelai's gonna catch a felony. You love to see it. Lock her up.

I need a moment to pay my respect for phone booths whenever I see them.

I need a moment to pay my respects for any rare moment of self awareness from Lorelai Gilmore whenever I see one. Now get your daughter into some fucking therapy.

Peaches and Herb are the 70's duo behind the sensual song "Reunited". (look it up; you've likely heard it before). So, let me get this straight: your kid's been gone for the entire summer and the first thing you think about upon her return is "Gee, I bet Rory's been just aching to give Dean Forrester a mediocre handy on my living room couch all summer, let me just roll out the welcome mat, give her my full blessing, arrange her schedule for her and even suggest a sensual musical selection." Between this and Rory persistently asking her mother about naked Luke in this episode (twice), we need to establish some hard parent-child boundaries here,okay? If Jess even deigns to hope for a little tug from Rory, Lorelai tries to decaptiate him. Luckily for him, he has now known the pleasures of Shane Shane the Handy Queen, She Has Jess, Rory Has Dean. Handjob jokes are really funny to me, because inside of me beats the heart of a 12 year old boy, or the heart of Beavis and or Butthead. Expect a lot of them going forward now that Handy Shane has entered the picture. Where is that goverment agent that almost arrested Lorelai, and his dog that's trained to attack on command, when you need him? Obviously, Lorelai had been lying to Emily about the date of Rory's arrival in order to spring Rory from FND so that's good, much better use of her time that trying to pimp Rory out to Dean and agitating agents of the United States Goverment a year after 9/11. (this episode aired on September 24th, 2002). Lor: I lied to my parents, which proves my deep love for you, I just wanted you to have one night of happiness. Only in Lorelai Gilmore's world would spending an evening with Dean Forrester be classified as a "night of happiness." Even the night of Dean's birth wasn't a night of happiness for Dean's parents. When Dean was born his mom tried to shove him back in. I really hate Dean. Anyway. Back at home Rory and Lorelai are discussing Crusty business. Both ladies are on a Crusty Freeze, as it appears they've been ignorning his calls and messages. So Lorelai has been freezing out Luke AND Crusty the whole summer. Their lives are probably a lot more peaceful now. Lorelai is anxious that she will have to break the news of Crusty's absence to the parents later and Rory offers to come along and distract them. Instead, Lorelai declines her services. Lorelai Gilmore, Go More than 15 Seconds Without Talking About Dean Challenge. And...GO!

Challenge failed, you lose, do not pass go, do not collect $200, no consolation prize, thanks for playing, please shut up. We learn that Lorelai has managed to avoid eating at Luke's all summer by taking shortcuts through bushes and eating at Al's Pancake World instead. Will it ever occur to her there are other restaurants just outside The Hetereosexual Hollow she could patronize? LIke an IHOP or something?

The gilly girls stop by S&J's and find them fighting amongst an antique explosion. LOL. This is pretty funny. Later they'll have lots of newlywed makeup sex with the giant bear watching over them. Then we're FINALLY off to the festival. See you for part 4.

[airyairyaucontraire]

Okay so my cat's 15 and she's getting arthritis in her back legs. My mother and sister took her to the vet about it yesterday because I had to work and my mother's retired and my sister's part-time. I greatly appreciate their help.

She had to be drugged before going because when I took her in for her check-up and vaccination last weekend she brought shame on our family with her behaviour and bit me on the hand inflicting a puncture wound which I can still see today, thanks Pearl, love you too. I know you were scared and your legs hurt so I'm not angry with you but it was both painful and embarrassing.

Anyway she was fine when she was doped up (my mother and sister texted me pictures from the appointment so I could see she was okay, also appreciated). The vet wants me to give her pain relief medicine for the arthritis and I'm absolutely down with that, I want my cat to be comfortable.

HOWEVER

the medicine is Gabapentin which comes in 100mg capsules of a very, very fine white powder.

the instructions on the prescription are to give her "half a capsule twice daily."

do you see the difficulty

I do not have a scale that can measure fucking milligrams

Trying to cut the dose out on a hard surface like cocaine means losing a lot of it because a) it's a very, very fine powder and b) I have shaky hands because of this fucking neurological condition the fucking neurologist couldn't identify.

And if I say fuck it and give her a whole capsule once daily, well, that's what I was required to give her before the appointment to render her dopey and tractable, which made it hard for her to walk, and also it would wear off so she'd only have 12 hours' relief while being too dopey to enjoy it and the rest of the time she'd be sore

so what I have to do, after a very frustrating phone call with the vet nurse during which I assured him I knew it was not his fault and hoped I didn't sound angry with him but I was finding this very stressful and was concerned that I would not be able to dose my cat properly, and thought the instructions were incredibly impractical, is this

using a syringe measure 2 millilitres of water and put it in a shot glass

with great care twist the halves of one capsule apart and pour the powder into the water

stir it with a toothpick until it appears more or less dissolved

draw up one millilitre with no real idea how much of the drug is suspended in it BUT HEY

squirt it down my startled and offended cat's throat

put Glad wrap over the top of the shot glass so it doesn't dry up and put it away to dose her again at night

There's another medication in gel form that I'm supposed to put on her wet food/meat but she doesn't like it and tried to eat around it, so I'm probably just going to squirt it down her throat too.

and do you want to know what is really fucking rich about all this

the medication the neurologist prescribed which has NOT fixed my tremors?

GABAPENTIN 100mg CAPSULES

FUCKING IDENTICAL TO THE ONES THE VET GAVE ME FOR THE CAT

yes I have cried with frustration about this today

my cat's getting old and sick and I can't help her, I'm getting old and sick and nobody can help me