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maefansblog · 2 months

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Colin's Feelings for Penelope

Buckle up, because this is a long one.

Colin has always had feelings for Penelope. It did not just happen because of her glow up or because he was jealous. It also doesn't happen overnight. They are true friends who turn into lovers.

Feelings can start as admiration, protectiveness, care, friendship, pride, and turn into jealousy, lust, and love.

As he says in Season 2, "Our relationship has taken shape so naturally over the years, one could take it for granted," Colin tells Penelope. "You have always been so constant and loyal, Pen."

I've said this in another post, but Penelope's makeover revealed who she truly was, while Colin's makeover was to cover his insecurities. Colin fell in love with Penelope because she truly stepped into herself. As Lady Danbury said that all Penelope had to do was be herself.

When Colin apologizes in the garden in Season 3 Episode 1, it almost feels like a love confession.

In Lessons, he encourages Penelope to be herself-even referencing how they first met!

Colin's relationship is so strong with Penelope that he remembers how he and Penelope first met. He even recalls it fondly, calling her charming.

Colin is constantly chasing after Penelope in Season 3!

He is constantly touching her and wanting to get her alone.

Colin has so many longing looks where he is pining for Penelope. I'll describe a few of them. In Season 1 Episode 8, when looks for Penelope across the ballroom and catches her gaze before going up to her. In Season 2, when Colin returns home, and the world stops when he catches Penelope’s eyes.

Like in Season 3, when Penelope leaves Colin when she says things changed. He has such a lost puppy dog look. Then, with Goodnight Mister Bridgerton, he is so disappointed in himself and longs for Penelope to return. He has a longing and jealous look when Penelope is talking to Lord Basilio and Lord Remington during the Full Moon Ball.

The longing at the sweets tent, after the balloon rescue, when Lord Debling dances with Penelope at the Innovation Ball, the mirror pine at the library, before and during the wedding dance, when Penelope wears her nightgown, at Francesca's wedding and before the big Declaration at the Butterfly Ball.

Colin ALMOST confesses his feelings at the Willow Tree and before Penelope first danced with Lord Debling at the Innovation Ball. His words got jumbled and his nerves got the best of him. Normally, Colin prepares words before saying something important and he had no time to prepare.

Colin intended to confess his feelings when he went to the Queen's Ball (in Episode 4) and interrupted Penelope and Lord Debling's Dance.

I think Colin had rehearsed his speech a thousand times in his head. He probably imagined a thousand endings, (a few with his heart shattered, a few with them waiting years until they are together, a few with them courting, a few with them engaged, many wet dreams, a few with them married and having a family).

To Colin, if Penelope reciprocated his feelings, his idealized mind was that they were going to be together forever. I think he *tried to wait to propose,* in order to treat Penelope as she deserves.

When Colin cuts in the dance, he is not going to let anyone steal his girl. When Penelope left him on the dancefloor, he had already felt the sting of heartbreak. Yet when Penelope exited alone for her carriage, he began to hope again and could *not* let her leave without telling her. Chaos Colin definitely kicked in, and he was running on pure impulse.

He chases the carriage down with the sole purpose of confessing his feelings. He has no qualms with being alone with Penelope because he's been alone with Penelope before, and no one bats an eye.

Again, he's dreamed up a thousand endings. Colin saw his entire future realized, knowing that all of them ended happily ever after together.

We know Book Colin and Show Colin are separate people and separate stories.

However, a part of me thinks the show Colin kept the part of "I wouldn't have compromised someone without rendering a marriage proposal" stuck.

[Also, Book Colin doesn't start the day off thinking he was going to marry Penelope. He follows Penelope to the church, gets jealous that she might be meeting a Lover, is shocked that she is Lady Whistledown, they argue, he gets a little turned on, she states that she doesn't believe she's beautiful, then Colin declares she is. He knows he's going to marry her in that moment, compromises her, and then immediately proposes.]

I don't think Colin intended to propose. (Although I make jokes that he did! 🤣) He had imagined it. However, once she said she reciprocated his feelings, he was going to marry her. He had no control of his impulses. He was locking her in. He was going to propose.

He kisses and compromises her with no thoughts but Penelope, Penelope, Penelope... like she is a siren. (Book reference.) His face looks like he's hypnotized and living out his wildest fantasies. This was Penelope, and this was love. (Another Book reference.) So when they arrive at Bridgerton house, he is firm that he loves Penelope, she has feelings for him (he doesn't know if she loves him yet), and they are going to be together forever. He has the look of "Yes that's my wife!"

When he exits the carriage, I think he had proposed so many times in his dreams that he forgot to actually say it out loud. He happily asks, " For God's sake, Penelope Featherington, Are you going to marry me or not?"

Then he locks in. Telling his mother, family... probably getting no sleep to get their new home set up. Colin is ready for forever with Penelope.

He publicly claims her.

He reassures her on multiple occasions that he cares for her, has feelings, and even loves her.

Colin tries to protect her the only way he knows how. He does this by helping her with Cousin Jack in Season 2, offering to help her find a husband at the beginning of the season, saving her from the hot air balloon accident, and even her mother's wrath.

He tries to protect her, but feels like he fails and makes things worse. Especially when he thinks she's been kidnapped, only to find out she's Lady Whistledown. When the Queen interrupts his wedding to try to capture Lady Whistledown, Colin wants her to give up, but she can't because Penelope is Lady Whistledown. He tries to solve things with Cressida, and Cressida increases the money for Blackmail. Although I made a joke in the next picture, it does show why Colin would be upset.

Even when he is mad he loves her and wants to be married to her. He ravished her on the street and was giddy to dance with his bride on their wedding day!

Penelope has also changed the way he views intimacy.

From their first kiss, the world as he knew it shattered. Colin came to a realization that he had deeper feelings for Penelope than he had never thought to examine because they had been such close friends for such a long time. She completely opened his eyes.

The carriage kiss and more demonstrated the passion that can be expressed through combining emotional and physical intimacy.

The mirror scene was something that could never compare to anything else. It was definitely love making.

The modiste kiss was a confirmation that Penelope truly loved Colin. She wanted Colin to return to who he really was instead of the fake persona that he was putting on. With this news, Colin is filled with passion and an overflow of love for the person who sees him as he is and loves him all the same.

This is why to mix physical intimacy, while Colin was angry at the beginning of their marriage, feels wrong for Colin. He is tortured by this. He sleeps fitfully, but his love for Penelope has transformed him so much that he can't go back to his beginning persona and fake intimacy. He knows true intimacy and doesn't want to sully it.

He can't stay away from her, though. He won't give up Penelope. That's why he sleeps on the sofa that they first made love to be close to her rather than choose another room in the house.

Which makes Colin's Declaration of Love so great in the end. He doesn't take away Penelope’s chance to reveal Lady Whistledown. She is sharing with the world who she is. He doesn't try to change her. He has fallen even more in love with her because he knows even more about Penelope. Colin doesn't have to fake who he is or his feelings for Penelope because he knows that Penelope accepts and loves Colin for being himself.

Colin and Penelope's final intimacy scene shows them both coming together on equal levels, knowing each other fully, and loving them all the same. He is able to love and be loved. He is able to let Penelope take the reins in certain aspects of their relationship, and he is secure enough to let her. (The puns were just naturally there.)

So Colin has had true feelings for Penelope. Their relationship progressed so naturally. He was her friend. Eventually, they turn into lovers. This is why Colin Bridgerton is top tier. This is why this couple holds such a great spot in my heart. 💕

Thanks for reading and diving into the mind of Colin Bridgerton! 💕

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