#collapsing memory

[russellmoreton]

The Library : A Meditation on the Human Condition (Giacometti, artist-philosopher) by Russell Moreton Via Flickr: russellmoreton.blogspot.com/ Books can step up to us- into us- in many ways. Voices from Chernobyl by Svetlana Alexievich was for me that rare precipitate force which calls another book into being. Mario Petrucci, Heavy Water, a poem for Chernobyl.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

put me back in the oven i am NOT done baking

[boar-cry]

somewhere, beneath the fog, you know someone is waiting for you. (you have to keep going.)

so take a breath. rest for a bit. but you must continue.

[snidy]

the two timelines featured in failstates au and their respective tired old men

[odoraful]

details in snowy serenity | zayne ❄️

[anghraine]

It's wild to me that I had heard of the prime Kirk/Spock content in various TOS episodes long before I saw them, but had never heard of what IMO is the shippiest moment of all thus far, in an interestingly O_o goddamn I do not want whatever you two have but you do you?? holy shit though what a moment way.

I'm of course referring to the otherwise rather mid episode "Requiem for Methuselah," in which Kirk has an underwritten love affair with a clueless woman whose various secrets have to be discovered before her inevitable death.

At one point in this relationship, her.......uh, guardian??? sort of???????? had Spock play the piano while she and Kirk waltzed, which (in-story) Spock did perfectly while somehow managing to silently exude even more intensity than usual. After the plot (and her life) were over, we end not with the usual cheerful bit of snark on the bridge that ends most episodes, but with a weary Kirk falling asleep with his head on his arms and Spock hovering not for away. McCoy exposits the last bit of detail and then goes on an unprompted and honestly pretty viciously racist speech about how Spock, unlike Kirk, will never suffer from the joys and travails of love because of his inherent lack of feeling as a Vulcan. The speech is longer than usual and just really mean-spirited as McCoy waxes rhapsodic about all the aspects of passionate true love that Spock will not and cannot experience as a Vulcan before he just leaves.

Spock then turns to look at Kirk, and now just bleeding intensity, takes a few slow, deliberate steps towards the sleeping Kirk, lays his hand against Kirk's cheek and neck, and then very obviously mind melds with the sleeping Kirk while murmuring, "Forget."

Is this healthy respectful behavior that honors Kirk's autonomy? No, obviously. Is it god-tier repressed homoerotic passion between two people who should probably just work their issues out and stop inflicting themselves on anyone else? Yes.

[ineedlelittlespace]

I think it's very telling that as of right now (System Collapse), every single Rogue Secunit we've met has not only not attacked anyone, but has immediately gone "yes, I'm going to help, actually." No matter how much even Murderbot itself frets about the dangers of Rogue units to its humans, the only place that danger seems to come from is corporate propaganda.

[ninja-knox-ur-sox-off]

Happy out of touch Thursday, i finally got the batteries for my keyboard and y’all get to face the consequences

Consider: Sonic is notoriously bad at comforting people. (<- says the person who’s barely interacted with sonic media HEAR ME OUT.) If you need a distraction, if you need someone to get your mind off things or get you moving again, he’s your hedgehog. If you need someone to smile down at you and tell you to get up when you feel like you can’t with such confidence that you remember who you are and can rise to the occasion, he’s got you. But if you need a shoulder to cry on, if you need advice , if you’re looking for a kind comforting word you’re playing Russian roulette with this dude as to whether you’ll get any comfort at all. An awkward pat, standing there staring at you, same smile as ever or maybe looking like he has no idea what to do with you and that same distraction techniques he normally employs land about as well as ill-timed right hook to the jaw. Imagine you feel inadequate and just want a good cry and maybe a hug and this dude grins at you like you’re funny and suggests a run. He’d die for his friends but he has no idea how to do that hug comfort thing because he’s Sonic the Hedgehog. When has he ever paused to process a hurt? When has he ever paused to process pain in his body or in his heart? He is the epitome of “If i stop running then my thoughts would catch up with me.” The only way he’s survived everything he has without crumbling to pieces mentally and physically is because he doesn’t dwell on it, he doesn’t process it, he keeps moving and he’ll never stop. “Wdym you don’t wanna bottle up your feelings? Lol that’s what I do and it’s works for me—“ His friends might want to address things his friend might see something truly horrifying happen and beg him to talk about it and he’ll laugh and wave away their concern because he’s Sonic the Hedgehog nothing can stop him. An object in motion stays in motion. There’s nothing wrong, nothings ever hurt him, he’s still in one piece, the sky is still beautiful, the world is still fresh and his friends are still alive and happy so what’s there to address? Sonic doesn’t talk about things, he drops by to spar. Sonic doesn’t ask about your feelings or his he just drops a blanket over your shoulders when you fall asleep at your work table and maybe brings you to bed if he has the mind to. Sonic the Hedgehog doesn’t slow down, even when he’s brought to one knee, he won’t slow down until he stops breathing. And it works. It’s what’s kept him alive this long. And inevitably it will be the thing that destroys him.

[phoenixcatch7]

Like I know it's self indulgence but it'd be so funny to see a full kardashian style Brucie Wayne, spoilt playboy prince of Gotham, local sunshine idiot on the front page every other week for darwinian levels of idiocy or billionaire levels of donations.

But he gets kidnapped or something and there's illusions or mind magics that make him think he's in the bat suit and then he gets dumped in the middle of a live world broadcast arena to fight some goons.

Like he doesn't think anything of it, batman's been kidnapped and forced into gladitorial arenas for sport many times before, maybe he always carries concealed weapons so he's still got like grapples and batarangs and stuff, but he's just going full doomslayer on these guys. No cowl. No suit. Just an open silk shirt and a pair of slacks. In full view of the world.

Tell you what, what about the whole justice league. Just a group of the motleyest people you've ever met. There's about as many famous people as there are absolute nobodies.

Several billionaires defer to the guy who writes articles on outdated lead in buildings and socio economic corruption. There's a renowned museum curator flying and uppercutting aliens so hard they get tossed across the room. There's a guy who spoke in science conferences about meta containment procedures running up the wall and delivering a roundhouse kick to three enemies at once. Bruce Wayne and Oliver Queen. Of all people. Two world famous idiot ceo celebrities. And they're back to back whaling on armoured alien henchmen like a well oiled team. A ten year old podcaster shooting lightning from his fingers and no one in the group bats an eye.

Just.... Insanity.

[theheirofthesharingan]

“Tell me, father, which to ask forgiveness for: what I am, or what I’m not?

Tell me, mother, which should I regret: what I became, or what I didn’t?”

- source

[betterwithbooksthanwithpeople]

things that stuck out to me in The Outsiders musical at my third show (4/24/25 evening):

probably unneeded disclaimer that this is just random stuff my brain hooked onto from my standing room partial view spot - some of this might happen every time but I saw it differently with a different actor or just forgot about it since I last saw the show nine weeks ago

-Anna Ace I love you and I'm so happy to see you again, flipping people off and throwing a ton of gravel right in the first song of the show

-also someone (maybe Ace, maybe Two Bit?) threw SO much gravel at Marcia during Tulsa '67 that she visibly tried to duck out of the way

-right before the socs jump Ponyboy and Bob is throwing the football to all the guys, he looks at Paul and Dan fully went 🙂↔️🙂↔️ like "do NOT toss me that football" hahaha

-Dos Bit speaking Spanish when Dally asks if he has his grease

-Victor Soda, Henry Two Bit, and Anna Ace are a dangerous trio if you fear inappropriate dancing and that’s all imma say about Grease Got a Hold lollll

-actually I lied because during Darry's verse in that song after Ponyboy is like "what?" and tries to walk away Darry stopped him like always but also kind of hugged him into his side and kissed his head before letting him go back to the group? ugh brothers of all time. just wants to protect his baby for real

-Brent did some kind of different riff on “home” in Runs in the Family and it was beautiful

-give it up for Victor's comedic timing and just stage presence in general; the whole scene of Soda and Ponyboy talking on the bed before Great Expectations was immaculate

-hey Marbit shippers, Henry Two Bit fully put his hand under Marcia’s chin during Friday at the Drive In and she laughed and kind of reluctantly turned her head. Then as soon as they made eye contact again during the dance break he blew her a kiss

-Ace yelled “your dancing sucks!” during the drive in dance break like the absolute legend she is

-Alex Dally does the whole bit at the drive in with Cherry very differently but I don't know exactly how to describe it. he's kind of quieter and more playful somehow - lots of teasing/ mocking the others - which makes him seem younger than how some others play Dally

-Daryl Johnny and Josh Ponyboy at the drive in, you will always be famous. just the goofiest little guys just the bestest of friends

-During Darry’s talking part in Runs in the Family Reprise, Victor Soda was going “easy, easy, easy” meanwhile Josh Pony was full screaming his lines at Darry

-ok so someone in the audience was so shook by The Slap that they said “oh my god” but it was totally silent at that moment so everyone heard and laughed and pretty sure this is why Josh skipped the line “Darrel never hit me before”

-Far Away from Tulsa harmonies and opts were AMAZING dare I say best I’ve ever heard? Josh and Daryl doing the most for REAL

-yall the spit was visible from the back of the theater today Josh really did the most there too eww

-not Brent Comer making me almost cry about Darrel Curtis in a scene that he's barely in because why did he look SO shocked and SO scared hearing the news from Two Bit during Run Run Brother

-everything about Alex Dally is so interesting to me yall. the way he seemed so resigned to being arrested and so carefree with his answers to the cop like in a "you're not gonna believe me so why bother" type way? he gets it so badly

-also this is just something i did differently but i finally watched Ponyboy and Johnny extra close to see them "cut/dye" Pony's hair and how does it look! so! cool!

-someone's vocals were eating down in Justice for Tulsa. pretty sure it was SarahGrace but maybe it was Hailey from the booth

-I'm going to say this for every one of their songs but Daryl and Josh's voices go SO good together that I wish I had a recording of their Death's at My Door

-speaking of songs I need a recording of, Throwing in the Towel?! Brent is always amazing (plus just looked SO distressed gosh) and Victor was killing itttt. the way I could have listened to them just sing that on a loop for hours

-thank you Daryl Tofa for consistently feeding the qpr truthers by literally laying in Ponyboy's lap in the church every time you play Johnny Cade

-do Pony and Johnny always pinky promise after talking about who Ponyboy's hair makes him look like? they should if they don't it was adorable

-tiniest bit of Ace and Darry siblingism at the beginning of Hoods Turned Heroes - Darry was laying back on the car and Ace was sitting against his legs

-will never get over how Brent Comer gets Darry so badly. the way he snatches the newspaper and is so relieved to hear his baby brother's okay that he joins the greaser's little dance and almost smiles but has to read the article again like he can't believe it

-Emma Pittman Hopeless War = vocals. also Cherry really seemed to be pleading with Ponyboy not to fight like she was so desperate to stop it she was crying

-pretty sure Cole fell accidentally during the rumble because he slid way off to the side almost into the wings lol. they really turned that rain on it was pouring

-Darry picking up Ponyboy and spinning him around after the rumble is so. that's his baby guys

-also when they all run in to tell Johnny they won the rumble does someone always say "Darrel even fought with us!" because. ough.

-maybe this isn't entirely factual but I feel like more people tried to comfort Dally after Johnny's death - like almost every greaser said something to him or tried to get closer to him, especially Darry

-Alex's Little Brother is jaw droppingly good. I didn't even cry at that part, just stood there with my mouth hanging open

-however, try not to cry while Josh Ponyboy is sobbing through his monologue after Little Brother? impossible I fear

-Curtis brothers ending scenes so perfect I want to watch them over and over and over. Brent always hits the mark exactly and I was so blown away by Victor and Josh today yall

-why is the very ending of the show when the lights are going down but the sunset background is still lit and everyone is in silhouette the prettiest thing I've ever seen

-stage door party for real: Emma, Victor, Brent, Henry, Daryl, Josh, Alex, SarahGrace, Melody, and Devin all came out

-Henry asked if I had fun and I went "yeah, and it looked like you had fun" and he goes "oh yeah, it's just complete silliness the whole time I'm on stage" lol

-also not Devin asking if we've met before and me having to be like "well I've seen the show three times now but this is the first time you've been here" haha

if you actually read all this, hi. ask me about it and maybe I'll remember more or at least explain better because this has gotten long and made less and less sense I fear

[whumperer-86]

Bad Memory Eraser ep2

Fainted , collapsed because of brain surgery bad memories

[iamfuckingsorry]

"Do you know where we are going next?" I asked ART.

Y'know what, I think maybe I don't need any more Murderbot books. I think maybe ending things here is fucking perfect and as much as I love Wells's writing I'm genuinely not sure it can get better for me.

Like, so much of the books are about MB learning how to be a person, about becoming okay with being a complete individual with everything it entails. The first thing it does once it's actually allowed to decide on its own is it runs away from it all (admittedly to go on a mission to confirm some things about its past, because it genuinely just wants to be *good*). It shoves all its emotions away as much as it's able to. Then shit happens, and it makes its first friends, makes decisions based on these friendships, goes through a lot of emotionally intense situations...

And we get to this point here. MB having zero doubts about going with ART says a lot about its relationship with ART, but it also says a lot about its relationship with its humans - it knows that wherever it goes, when it comes back, the humans will still be there. Its humans actively acknowledge its struggles with being a now-free SecUnit and MB is willing to entertain the discussions to an extent and share information about its deeply personal experiences. Hell, System Collapse ends with MB admitting it might be somewhat broken, but that's okay as long as it can keep doing its job, and agreeing to basically do counselling - this is the guy what would rewatch its favourite TV show again and again in order to avoid acknowledging it even had Emotions a couple books back.

Reading this, I know that MB will be okay. It has hopes and goals and genuinely believes in itself and it has an amazing support system that its willing to lean on for the first time in its life. I'm convinced it'll go on to do great things with ART. And that's really the only thing I need to know.

[simply-whump]

The Uncanny Counter 2: Counter Punch : Episode 8

>> Whump List

[mebis-reblogs]

Reminder that there's a very big fracture on moon's superstructure letting light (and rain) in

[evilasiangenius]

When Crowley woke, the air tasted savory-crisp to his snakey tongue and it took him a moment to recognize the scent of fresh bread baking in the hearth.

“Aziraphale?” Crowley sat up on the bed.

“My apologies for being a poor host,” Aziraphale said from across the room where it seemed that he was poking about in the hot ashes with a fire-blackened stick. “I have no cheese or butter, and very little oil. Trade isn’t what it was these days. I think this city is on the verge of failure.”

“Verge?” Crowley’s mouth twisted in a squiggle of sadness. “I’d say from what I saw it’s quite beyond that verge. Why are you here at all? There are hardly any humans at all in this city anymore. We’re usually posted in more populated places.”

“You know I can’t tell you that,” Aziraphale said primly, as he pulled a big piping hot flatbread off the hearthstone still gray with ashes with his fingers and set it upon a terracotta plate. “You should eat this. The oil’s over there.”

“Do you want me to get anything? I could make us some–”

“No,” Aziraphale said decisively. “Frivolous miracle usage will get both of us in trouble, it’s best to make do with what we have at hand.”

Crowley blinked; whatever happened Upstairs must have been extremely serious for Aziraphale to talk like this. The angel had never been one to be particular about the finer points of miracle expenditure and economy. He glanced at Aziraphale, but the angel’s expression gave nothing away.

“Sounds like a change in policy?”

But Aziraphale did not answer him.

“It’s all right, angel,” Crowley said, choosing his words carefully. “No one is doing any accounting like that at Head Office, no one really tracks these things Downstairs. And besides, I have a little extra in reserve…well, a lot more than a little extra. He’d never mind what I was using it for, and even if he knew you were involved he’d probably think it was funny and would only want to know what I had made for you–”

“No. Please. You’re my guest, please just let me do this.” Aziraphale’s face was tense and unhappy and Crowley wondered where this tension had come from.

“Fine,” Crowley shrugged.

Thinking better of it, Aziraphale reached out for the jar of oil himself and poured a healthy drizzle of golden olive oil onto the bread, handing the plate up to Crowley.

“Oh,” Crowley said softly, realizing that little white wild garlic flowers floated in the oil and he wondered how Aziraphale must have gotten it so late in the season until he realized that the flowers had been preserved in the oil, probably since at least spring. “Are you not going to have some yourself?”

“No. I ate already.” But the angel eyed the bread with no small amount of longing.

“Here, it’s too much. I won’t be able to finish this.” Crowley tore the bread in two, and handed Aziraphale the larger half.

“I really shouldn’t,” the angel murmured, but his hands trembled as he took the bread.

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