#come on you know how much the ackles love misha

[dotthings]

"Open to interpretation" does not mean you get to tell Destiel shippers how to see the canon, Karen

After the spntwit drama this week I think it matters to emphasize again how hard the antidestiel hatedom was going against how Jensen rolls when it comes to interpretation.

antidestiels continue to behave as if they believe "open to interpretation" means they themselves can dictate to other fans how to see the canon, and they call Destiel shippers and Misha "disgusting" just for speaking our viewpoints of the canon.

Destiel shippers give our take on the text and antis go "well you can't because JENSEN SAID--"

They very obviously do not listen to what Jensen says. Here is Jensen at Dencon 2021, where he pretty much clears the runway for fans to interpret however we please and his praise and appreciation for those readings: “This is the great thing about the show and I think the relationships and some of these characters is that they’re open for interpretation. If you find identity in a character because of whatever reason, fantastic! Great! If that encourages you to be a better person, or to love someone a little harder, to forgive someone for something, fantastic. That’s—that’s I think that’s one of the beautiful things about what we do is that we get to encourage people on a variety of levels.” -Jensen Ackles, DenCon October 2021

(Antis: But you CAN'T, because JENSEN SAID--)

Antis are stuck in a loop of their own making.

This is not the first time Jensen has conveyed his support for fan interpretation.

Jibcon 2015:

We also know from reports from a virtual m&g a short while after SPN ended that Jensen said he and Misha talked about the confession scene beforehand, and they "didn't want to over-define it" and "the artist isn't going to stand next to that piece of art and tell you what to see. You should be able to see, and it should be able to mean what it means to you and that's--that's the beautiful thing about art." (There is no video, this is pulled from fan reports, but as far as we know this is accurate reporting).

Antis: but you can't because Jensen SAID--

blah blah blah

Yes we can and it's not that we need Jensen's--or anyone's permission--however it's just so heinous how severely antidestiels stomp all over Jensen's respectfulness and protection of fan readings and his appreciation of that, and their lying about how he rolls. They are making very negative insinuations of him, yet somehow everyone else in fandom is the problem but them.

It doesn't add up.

"But you can't say Destiel is real and there was queer coding because JENSEN SAID--"

But Jensen said he's completely cool with how we see it.

He said so.

I have a permit. Jensen signed it. See?

Get over it. Find a new hobby. Move along.

A further thing--note my highlighting on excerpts from an interview with Jensen Ackles about Big Sky concerning the Beau/Jenny relationship. (TV Insider, 1.18.2023)

The phrasing should sound familiar.

Yes, that's right, he's used similar language to speak about Dean and Cas. And this is for a het ship.

"leave the audience wanting more" "we gave just a little bit" "but do we need to play it out in a graphic sex scene?" "a kiss wasn't necessarily needed" "let's tiptoe for now" "fired it up in a way that made it not so sexual...two humans really, truly connecting. It wasn't just like, oh, let's rip each other's clothes off."

Put that next to "I don’t think lust is involved with the romanticism" "there's some people that might try to sexualize that" "it was two sentient beings essentially" (Dencon 2021, Vancon 2022)

Isn't that interesting. (Also isn't it interesting he called it "romanticism"?)

Jensen also said something somewhere about how he would like to do a romantic comedy so long as it involves killing zombies. He doesn't hate romance. It's just that he likes genre and action stuff. He's not against, whether it's queer or straight romances.

He's also said he'd like to do a rom-com slash western playing opposite Misha Collins.

Not telling Destiel shippers what to do, but along with antidestiel misinformation spread, the Destiel lane is justly notorious for flinging accusations at him and I think it's relevant that he speaks about a het ship using similar language, and it's relevant how supportive he is of queer readings.

one last thing, this is old, from Jensen's time on Days of our Lives, but he wasn't against playing a queer character.

[destiel-wings]

Jensen said there would be other voices narrating alongside Dean's in The Winchesters and still we haven't heard any.

When in the very last minute of the season finale of the Winchesters we hear Dean's V.O. and then it turns into what seems like a conversation and we HEAR CASTIEL'S VOICE REPLYING TO HIM AND UNDERSTAND THEY'RE TOGETHER AND ACTUALLY SPEAKING I--

NO BUT THIS IS ACTUALLY DOABLE-- JUST THINK. THE PERFECT WAY TO GET THE SHOW RENEWED FOR A SECOND SEASON

[thefabledpheasant]

I watched a video of Jensen ackles opinion on the scene in 7x17 where Dean returns Cas’ coat, and he said it was out of character for Dean to have it folded up like that. Which I thought was really interesting because I disagree completely. Dean, as a character, is extremely emotional. He feels a lot and he cares a lot and so much so, that he has to repress so much of it to get through his life.

Whether you ship Destiel or not, Dean obviously cared tremendously about Cas. During Cas’ very brief stint as Emmanuel, Dean tells him: “I used to be able to just shake this stuff off. You know, whatever it was. It might take some time, but... I always could. What Cas did... I just can't - I don't know why.”

While I do interpret this as an indication of his romantic feelings for Castiel, either way, this line is Dean stating very obviously that what happened with Castiel has been weighing very heavily on him and he thinks about it a lot. It also shows just how deeply he cared for Castiel.

The trench coat is the last thing left of this person he cares about. What’s he supposed to do with it? He wouldn’t throw it away. THAT’S out of character. I think it’d be in character for Dean to burn the coat as as a final goodbye, the traditional hunters funeral, but it’s canon that a part of Dean believed Cas would come back. The line is in the promo for the episode and Jensen & Misha even mention it being in the original script. Which means no burning the coat.

Then what is he going to do with it? He wouldn’t just throw it somewhere haphazardly. When you lose someone, you treat whatever is left of them with the love you have for the person that’s gone. That’s grief. So, OF COURSE he folded it nice and neatly. I don’t think it’s out of character at all.

When it comes to the fact that he had the coat with him in a stolen car, that’s when we definitively cross the threshold into romantic territory. I think the place the coat made the most sense, from a platonic perspective, is stored somewhere in either their cabin or Bobby’s house.

Dean had to constantly, purposefully transfer this coat from stolen car to stolen car. The coats only purpose is to remind him of Cas. It’s not like the coat actually does anything. Cas doesn’t NEED the coat, so it’s not like he kept it on him at all times because it’s important that Cas have the coat if he were to come back.

I don’t personally think it is out of character for Dean to do what he did. I think Jensen thinks it’s out of character because he viewed the whole thing as romantic and doesn’t believe Dean is in love with Cas. And while I agree the whole thing feels romantic, I don’t think the act of folding the coat neatly is inherently romantic or out of character. It’s just grief.

[deangirlsstuff67]

Birthday Boy

Jensen Ackles x reader

Warnings: Drinking, P in V, Unprotected sex, Fingering, Oral (m and f receiving), Squirting, Dirty talk

Summary: Jensen has given up on finding his happily ever after. Now that he's 45 he just doesn't see the point anymore. Jared, Misha, and the SPN cast take him out on the town to celebrate and lift his spirits. That's when he looks eyes with a beautiful woman. After one too many whiskeys they go back to his place, where he learns age is only a number.

Authors note: I love Jensen and his family. I mean them no disrespect. This is set in set in a world where Jensen is single. This is a work of fiction for nothing more than entertainment.

Masterlist | Patreon

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We walk into a bar that Jared and I found when we first came to Vancover for season one. The small, dingy, dive bar is a hidden gem that we have visited many times. Whether it was marriage, divorce, birthdays, or deaths, these four walls hold many memories for the supernatural cast and crew.

The group of us find a couple empty tables and take a seat. A lovely blonde waitress makes her way over for our drink order. Tonight we are celebrating my 45th birthday.

Getting older isnt as bad as your younger self believes. It's like a prize for surviving all the bullshit of your 20s. You no longer care what people think of you. You can go to bed early if you want without being judged. And you make the transition from hot and sexy, to handsome and distinguished.

I can't complain.

The blonde makes her way back with a tray of our drinks. Tonight we have Jared, Misha, Rob, Rich, Kim, Brianna, Mark, and Ruth with us.

She hands me my whiskey double. A sexy, flirty smile lights up her face for the brief moment we lock eyes so I can thank you. I smile politely back at the young lady. Seriously, I could be her dad.

--‐-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Three whiskey doubles in, laughs and smiles floating around our table, I got to say this has turned out to be a good night. Jared leans over and speaks directly in my ear so I can hear over the music coming from the speakers, "dont look now but you got a y/h/c who cant keep her eyes away from you."

Great, cue eye roll. Women have been nothing but problematic for me. They either want fame, money, connections, or someone I know. I've given up in that department.

Way too old for that shit.

"It's not going to kill you to have a look man." Jared sighs dramatically at me.

"You never know, it might." But it's too late my interest is peaked. I'm a sucker for a y/h/c. I slowly scan the bar until I lock eyes with the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.

Well shit.

She's younger than me, though I don't know by how much. Casually dressed in blue jeans that hug her curves perfect and a over sized ACDC t-shirt tucked into all the right places. She simple smiles and raises her glass of amber liquor in a silent toast.

I can feel the corners of my lips curve as I toast her back. Then as quickly as the moment settled between us, it was gone and she took her friends arm as they walked out the front doors.

Dammit.

"Man I'm sorry," Misha looks over at me, "she looked interested."

Rich comes to sit on our side of the table, "ĥows the birthday boy doing?"

"Thought he was ging to get lucky tonight, but she left." Jared whisper yells. I can't stop the eye roll, the more he drinks the more of a man child he becomes.

This bit of information intrigues Rich, "you meanthe pretty y/h/c that’s walked back in?" He says with a sly smirk resting on his face.

We all watch as she glides up to the bar to speak with the young man playing bartender tonight. I can't tear my eyes away from her or how her hips sway with every step. She's a work of art. Curves in all the right places, looks like she eats more than salad. I swear she's every man's wet dream come true.

She turns and smirks as she makes her way over to our table with a tray of shot glasses, a knowing look sparkling in her y/e/c eyes. I feel my cheeks heat with embarrassment knowing she caught us all gawking at her.

Placing the tray down in front of the four of us, she picks up a shot and tips hers ead back to drain her glass. I watch as she swallows the liquid, swallowing down the dirty thoughts it promotes in my whiskey soaked brain.

"Happy Birthday Beautiful, now drink." She passes over a shot, which I take without hesitation. I drain the glass, the burn of vodka ever present in my throat, before finding my voice.

"How do you..."

She answer before I can finish my thought, "I'm a fan. Don’t worry it's not in a creepy stalker kind of way. I just couldnt pass up the opportunityto buy my favorite actor a shot on his birthday." She shrugs before taking another shot. There's something sexy about a woman who can hold her liquor.

"I'm y/n by the way." She turns to leave, before she can take a step I get out of my seat and wrap her in a hug, pulling her close to my chest.

Beautiful y/e/c irises stare into mine as she searches for the reason behind the embrace. Tucking a piece of hair behind her ear I softly smile down at her, "I want you to stay."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Shit, I dropped the keys." Y/N is wrapped around my body, pressed against the door to my apartment. Trying to unlock a door while having a beautiful woman kissing down my neck is more than distracting.

After some struggle we fall into my apartment. Guiding her backwards towards my room, hitting walls along the way. We haven't stopped kissing since getting into the cab at the bar.

She's addictive. Her taste. Her smell. I need this woman.

Breaking apart she sauntered to my bed, stripping her clothes along the way. My cock is throbbing in the jeans I'm wearing, begging for me to release it.

She crawls onto my bed positioning herself in a kneeling position. Legs spread wide showing just how dripping wet she is for me. Slowly I remove my clothing, watching as she plays with herself waiting for me. My cock drips with pre cum in anticipation. Knowing just how hot and bothered I made her with limited touching gets me high.

Walking towards the bed, y/n meets me at the edge. I stare down at her as she lowers herself before locking a strip from the base of my cock to the tip. Groaning I throw my head back at the sensation.

After a few minutes of kitten licks, y/n takes me in her mouth the first go. Straight to the base and swallowing around me. My hips jerk, hands rake through her long hair as I hold on. She's blowing my freaking mind, "Darling, I'm not going to last." She swirls her tongue around the head of my shaft, it almost does me in.

"Sweetheart... y/n... you have to stop... please"

She comes off my cock with a loud 'pop', smiling up at me while wiping her mouth.

Fuck that's hot.

Pushing her in the chest I force her to lay on the bed, "my turn," kissing my way down her soft curves to her sweet spot, wet and waiting for me.

Inhaling her sweet scent, making my head spin, "you smell delicious baby girl." Then I dive in like man starved.

Alternating between broad strokes and sucking her clit. I smile I to her center as I watch the bliss out look on her face as she shakes and squirms beneath me. Whatever I was feeling about getting older has been drowned out by her moans and whimpers as I bring to the edge before backing off, over and over again.

Rising above her tasting her on my lips, I learn down taking her mouth with mine, sharing her sweetness. My fingers trail down her body before pludging into her hot, wet center. My pace is fast as I curl my fingers, finding her g spot.

Her body jerks forward as she let's out a beautifully loud moan before I feel her soaking my hand, wrist, and thighs, "fuck darling, did you just squirt?"

Pink colors her cheeks while she looks away from me. "Hey, dont be embarassed. That's the sexiest thing I've ever experienced. " I kiss her deeply as I feed my shaft into her quivering walls. What an amazing feeling that is.

Looking down I watch her body struggle to take my girth as I bottom out inside her. Staying still to allow her to adjust before I slowly withdraw to my tip and slowly sink back into her warmth. My room is filled with nothing but moans from her, groans from me, and the wet squelched noise as our bodies become one.

Our rhythm is steady as we use our bodies to bring the other pleasure with each thrust. One, two, three more thrusts and y/n is pushing me out of her before she soaks my thigh and cock in her essence again. It's what tips me over the age as I shove myself back in making her gasp before emptying myself into my own personal heaven.

Sweat covered, limbs shaking, breathe labored, I collapse beside her after pulling out. Wrapping my arms around her I bring her into my chest as we come down from our highs together.

"That was amazing darling."

"Mhm... it was" her sleepy voice whispers into my body.

I hold her as she drifts to sleep in my arms. Happiness washes over me. I don't know her but something about this woman has intertwined deep in my soul. I look down at her kissing her forehead, "I hope this becomes more... "

I close my eyes as sleep takes me.

[sara78]

Family Don't End In Blood - Part 10

Summary: Following the events of the previous nights, everyone is keeping themselves on their toes. The Ackles family, plus Y/N and Jared, discuss their further moves. Disagreements arise, but a kind soul breaks out the fight easily and allows things to settle down before talking real game.

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x foster!daughter reader

Word count:3,299 (wow, really?)

Transcription - Y/M/N: Your mother's name ; Y/H/C: Your home country

Warnings: Mentions of abuse (nothing graphic but SKIP IF THIS TRIGGERS YOU), kids are the kindest souls in the universe and you can't prove me otherwise, angst

A/N: Here's a little reward for powering through the week :D

Your nights have been pretty restless through the last few years of your life. The way you would flinch from the slightest sound your ears picked up, the way you curled underneath the blanket and squeezed a pillow to your chest, often burying your face in it as well, trying to quiet down the cries and allow the soft fabric to pick up all of your tears without any judgment, the way you would jump awake from a nightmare, just to get hit and yelled at for waking up others and the way you overall didn't feel safe, did a thing or two to you through the course of years.

Something happened with all of that when you started working on Supernatural. Something changed in the way your body worked. You slept pretty well. Yes, nightmares were still there, but there was no yelling and punching after you woke up from one. Your body felt safe, surrounded by kind people and kids. You slowly but surely started to feel like the old self - able to asleep in any spot at any time. You're pretty sure Jensen, Jared and Misha have a whole album on their phones just with your weird sleeping spots just to tease you, which you didn't mind, as you had just as much material to tease them back.

But this night was restless. For both you and Jensen. Maybe it was the fear of what tomorrow would bring. Maybe it was fear of how are things going to go down. Or it was fear of losing people close to you. No matter the reason, fear was evidently present. You could feel it in the air.

You just laid down next to Jensen and stared at the ceiling with him after you finished getting ready for bed.

He'd strike up a question. You'd do the same. But all the conversations died rather quickly and you'd both return to silence, staring at the ceiling and trying to calm down your racing minds.

Soon enough the night turned into early morning, and everything that was going through your head was pushed aside as you heard a knock on the door,

"Hey," Jared's raspy morning voice spoke up, "Danneel and the kids should be here soon. Wanna come with us to pick 'em up?" you nod, sitting up and yawning, Jensen still laying down, "Did you two sleep any?"

"No," Jensen said as he sat up while you stood up, rubbing sleep out of your eyes, "I'll be ready in a few."

"No hurries," Jared said, "Y/N, wanna come with me to grab breakfast after we pick everyone up from the airport? We're not on set today."

"What?" you asked, visibly confused, "It was supposed to be Mish, you and me on set today. What happened to that?"

"Rich sent me a text and told me we're off the schedule for today and tomorrow. We had the weekend off anyways, so it's just extended now," Misha spoke up from behind, making you sigh,

"I don't want others working overtime because of me. I can work."

"Rich is behind the steering wheel and that's what he decided. Making this show isn't just acting as well," Jared pointed out,

"Besides, you can go ahead and call him, wake him up and make him all grumpy. I'd enjoy that, he loves his beauty sleep," Misha added, making everyone smile.

Crowded places weren't your jam. Maybe because you always had a feeling you weren't safe. You didn't know how many different personalities walked past you and that scared you a bit. Especially because coming from a third-world country, you'd never seen so many people packed somewhere and it was a weird experience, but you'd learned fast enough.

But this time, as you walked through the airport, you kept scanning every single face that had even the slightest of resemblance to her.

You were afraid she was following you. You weren't sure how much does she know and what weapons is she willing to use to get to you and people you love. She's got her way around here and it scares you to hell and back.

And to think that she could pop out from anywhere and hurt anyone who's walking with you and hurt the four people who are about to land sent chills down your spine and kept you on edge with every step you took.

You were at the gate just in time, as Danneel walked up with the kids. While the girls ran to Jensen, Zeppelin had no problem running to you, even though he was on a long flight and you could see how tired he was just by the way he looked at you. But the way he lit up and smiled when his eyes caught glimpse of you made you smile just as wide, seeing how much joy and love can a child's heart hold. He was in your arms within seconds and you felt so relieved to be able to hug him tightly and protect him from whatever might happen.

He's just a little kid.

How can she threaten a child?

You kissed his temple as he curled into your hold and clung to you, not letting go,

"I missed ya, Y/N," he murmured, making you smile and rock him gently,

"I missed you too, big guy," you responded, allowing Jensen to give his buddy a kiss as you waved at the girls. Arrow came up and gave your leg a small hug, while JJ walked past you and went straight to Jared. You sighed, Danneel showing up and giving you a big hug,

"I'm sorry," you whispered and she shook her head, still hugging you,

"There's nothing to be sorry for. We're safe and that's all that matters."

"Let's get going," Misha said, "You must be tired and hungry."

"Y/N and I will go order and bring breakfast home," Jared said, letting JJ down into the backseat and making you sigh as you put Zeppelin in his car seat to which he protested,

"Hey, what's my little guy want for breakfast?" you tried and he pouted, "Buddy, I know you wanna stay with me, but uncle Jared has no kid seats in his car because he's a dummy," Zeppelin giggled, making you smile too, "How about I get y'all a shake?" Arrow squealed in joy in response, Zeppelin nod and JJ kept quiet,

"Birdie, say thank you to Y/N," Jensen said, looking at her as he sat in the drivers seat. She pouted and looked away in the other direction, "Come on birdie."

"Thanks," she murmured, not looking at you. You sighed, looking down for a second and catching a deep breath to stop the tears from spilling.

JJ didn't like you. At all. And that was okay. You didn't expect her to like you. Especially because she's way older than the twins and understands more than they can right now. But you were trying to do as much as you could without overstepping her boundaries and now, when you are this vulnerable, the slightest thing that usually doesn't bother you now seems like the end of the world. And it hurt, plain and simple.

"What's the plan?" you asked, working on strapping the twins safely into their seats as you sniffled,

"We're gonna discuss that on our way back," Jensen sighed, sipping on his coffee, "You don't separate from Jared."

"I won't," you sighed, kissing Zeppelin and Arrow's foreheads before closing the door to the backseat, "Please, talk about every possible option. Even the ones that have me going away," you said and Danneel shook her head as you looked at her,

"You going away is never going to be an option," she said with a smile and you sighed, walking away to Jared's car.

Three hours later

"You guys good?" Jensen asked as you and Jared walked into the apartment an hour and a half later,

"Yeah," you smiled, "Kids asleep?"

"Out like a light," Danneel smiled, "Zeppelin was the last one to fall asleep. He was waiting for you."

"That kid will be the death of me," you smiled, "Breakfast good?"

"Yeah. Yours got cold though," Jensen pointed out, "Everything okay for sure?"

"Yeah," you smiled, "We just needed to clear our heads and get some fresh air."

"I had a moment and she made me stop and do as she said," Jared popped in, "Sorry for not checking in."

"She sent me a text. Knows us all too well," Jensen smiled, ruffling your hair, "Now you two get your asses at the table and eat."

Heavy silence filled the room while you and Jared ate. Jensen was sipping on his fourth coffee of the day and Danneel was sitting right next to him, cuddled up to his side and playing with the fingers of his hand.

Jared was obviously the first one to finish the meal, as he was the human food vacuum. You took a few more minutes before placing your plate and utensils into the dishwasher and turning it on. You returned to the living room, where Jensen and Danneel were on the couch and Jared was on the other couch, facing the two. You took a seat next to Jared and sighed,

"This can't go on anymore," you said, bringing Jensen back from his over thinking and Danneel from her half-asleep daze, "We can't make this work out. We tried, and I love you all for trying, but it's not working. We gotta do something because I don't want either of you being in danger anymore."

"We don't want you being in danger too," Jensen added, making you sigh, "We're gonna make it work."

"How?" you asked, "By keeping Dee and the kids here, imprisoned?"

"No," Jensen shook his head, "It was a bone-headed move to make them come here. I acted out of fear. They're way safer in Texas."

"What makes you think that?" you asked,

"She's wanted for not showing up for trial with Chaos Machine when she attacked you," Danneel explained, "She can't cross the border nor use any of her documents. Unless she makes a new identity, she can't cross the border. She's also here on a travel visa, which expired long time ago."

"She makes connections so deep in the rotten pores of the law it makes me sick. I wouldn't be surprised if she found someone to work with who could get her over the border," you explained,

"Even if she does, it'll take a long time. Kids and I will be safe in Austin. Now, Jensen, honey, you making us come here wasn't a bone-headed move. We need to be together, at least for a few days. Kids and I will stay for a bit and then go back. They still have around a month of school left and you have a lot of filming to do."

"I mean, it's only five weeks. But that might be extended, given all the circumstances," you pointed out and Jensen shook his head,

"We're skyrocketing on the streaming charts. We're doing another season in the fall and two extra episodes this summer. Meaning we don't get off work till mid June."

"When were you gonna tell us that?" Jared spoke up from where he was leaned against the couch, "We doing that good?"

"We still got it, old man," Jensen teased, making everyone giggle,

"He's not old. He just has gray hair that Sarah has to dye over and over again," you pointed out, Jared sitting up and tickling your sides as Jensen and Danneel giggled, "I'm glad we brought the show back."

"We all are," Danneel smiled,

"Nonetheless, my point stil stands. The filming is going to take a while. She has all the time in the world to figure shit out. She's going to find a way to fuck us over, one way or another. I know you don't like this idea at all, but I think that me moving out is the most rational option at the moment."

"No," Jensen shook his head, eyes staring at some point on the carpet, "Not happening."

"Jense, it's for the best. I'm the target and she's using you to get to me. She knows me all too well. If I remove myself from your place, she won't chase after you anymore. We're gonna see each other on set. We have phones too. We can keep in touch, and of course we will. I don't want to cut any contact off. I just want to remove myself physically from you and your families until it's safe for you."

"It's supposed to be about your safety too, not just ours," Jensen said,

"Well my safety had been compromised for a very long time. I can live a bit longer in the danger zone. You, however, don't deserve to suffer because of what's going on between me and her."

"But kid, there's a plot hole," Jared spoke up, "Say you move out. We stay in contact, all cool. But what if she comes to us and asks for your whereabouts?"

"Simple, I won't give you my address. You won't know."

"And you think that us telling her we don't know will be the answer she wants to hear? You think she'd believe us?"

"I… Fuck," you breathed, running a hand over your face,

"I'd tell her to piss off, whether I knew the address or not," Jensen growled,

"None of us would give it up," Jared added, "I see where you're coming from, munchkin. But unfortunately, plot holes exist and she might want to hurt us even if we're don't know anything about your whereabouts. I'm siding with Jensen on this one. It's better to be around familiar people. It helps with your head, right? That's what you told me like an hour ago. There's no reason to sit and suffer in silence."

"I wish I was normal," you whispered, looking down to the floor, "I wish we weren't having this conversation right now. I wish I wasn't the problem."

"You are normal and you aren't the problem," Danneel said, "Sweetie, you're so far from the problem. We all know who the real problem is and we know that in this moment we can't remove it. But what we can do is stay together and keep fighting."

"What if I just met up with her?" you said, Jensen's eyes widening as he looked you in the eye, "I mean, just end it, once and for all?"

"What makes you think she'll listen?" Jensen said, making you roll your eyes,

"You can't just contradict everything I say, Jensen. Especially not when some of the solutions are actually pretty solid."

"I'm not contradicting you because I like to. I'm doing it because I don't want you to be in her vicinity. Ever again. After everything she's done to you, she doesn't get to keep having her way with you."

"Due all respect, you don't even know half of what happened-"

"And that's what scares me!" Jensen exclaimed, "It scares me to hell and back because I don't want you to live like that anymore. I don't want you to jump at every sound your ears pick up, I don't want you waking up from nightmares, drenched in sweat and crying, I don't want you to be afraid of loving and being loved. I want you to be a kid too! And by putting yourself out there, you're doing her a favor. You can't compromise your safety like that. "

"If you wish for a normal kid, why did you want to adopt me in the first place?" you asked,

"I never said I wanted a normal kid. Just a kid that isn't in fight or flight mode all the fucking time."

"Well that's what you get," you said, "You knew what you got yourself into. I've warned you multiple times that I can't be a regular kid. I'm fucked up, very fucked up on many, many levels and I'm sorry I don't meet your expectations."

Jensen abruptly stood up and walked away into his bedroom, Danneel sighing and going after him, which left you with Jared. You buried your face in your palms, trying so hard not to cry.

You got attached.

And you shouldn't have.

"There's no expectations to meet," Jared's voice spoke up as you felt the couch dip down on your right, "We just want to give you a space where you can feel safe and sound. Where you don't have to be afraid. Where you can relax and be yourself without any hesitation. We love you for who you are. We loved you on day one, when we didn't know nothing about you besides how big your appetite is and how much of a joker you are. And we didn't stop loving you when your background unraveled and came into the picture. And we won't stop loving you, no matter what tomorrow brings. You're our kid and nothing can change that. Fuck me, we all have loads of crap on our shoulders and you love us the same way we love you."

"That's different."

"How can that be different?" Jared asked, "There's no difference. There's no measuring whose pile of crap is heavier. There's none of that. We all have our own struggles and we all have an equal right to feel how we feel about them. There's nothing wrong in being scared and nobody here wants you to be someone you're not. You're scared and you're terrified. You can be scared and terrified. Nobody would point any fingers at you because we know what's the reason for it and whilst maybe we don't know the whole story, we know enough to piece it together and understand."

"You are NOT moving out," Jensen growled as he stormed out of his bedroom, Danneel on his tail. His tone took you by surprise and his stance gave you some not so nice flashbacks, resulting in your body flinching in a try to shy away from him,

"Jensen, relax. Nobody's moving out," Jared said, "Let's all take a deep breath and-"

"You don't get to walk out on your family," Jensen kept talking to you, "Not on us. Not on that little kid who loves you more than anything in this world," he began, pointing to Zeppelin's room, "Not on this woman who took you in like you're her own child. Not on Jared who cares for you so deeply. And not on me. You don't get to walk out on me because I want to protect you and keep you safe."

"I'm not asking for protection," you said, standing up, "And I'm not walking out on anyone. I just want to do this right."

"And you think that handing yourself to her is the way to go?!" Jensen asked, making you gulp,

"I don't know!" you exclaimed, "I don't know what's the right thing to do. I want to do something, anything, just to feel like I at least tried."

"Well, we can do something else. Together. But you're not moving out. You're not leaving your family."

"Jensen-"

"No!" he exclaimed, "You are family. To me, to Danneel, to the kids. To the Padalecki, to Misha. So, I'm sorry, but you're not gonna be by yourself as you wallow in self-hate, painful memories and fear. You've had enough crap for the next 10 lifetimes and it scares the shit out of me that you were on your own all this time and it freaks me out that I don't know half of the stuff she fed you with and I don't know if I can help you, but I'm going to be here and you're going to be here and you're staying. You don't get to say you involved us too much already. Because the moment she step foot onto the set, that's when your problem became our problem. She won't hurt you ever again! I'm not gonna let her hurt you again! And I'm not gonna let you destroy yourself and put yourself in danger because-"

"Daddy, stop yelling at Y/N!" Zeppelin's small voice echoed, making everyone go dead silent as they all looked at him in his dinosaur pajamas, holding his blankie in his tiny hands. He walked up to Jensen who had his eyes glued to him, "You tell us we shouldn't yell. Apologize to Y/N."

Everyone was in awe of Zeppelin's words. Such a young child yet so emotionally mature. He turned around and walked up to you and you smiled as you picked him up and sat him on your hip,

"I'm sorry Y/N," Jensen whispered, sitting down,

"It's okay," you said, "If I recall, you have some dinosaurs to be fed?" Zeppelin nod with a smile, "Then we can't keep them waiting any longer or they'll eat us," you smiled, walking away from the living room.

3rd person POV

"That kid is something else," Jared breathed, Danneel grabbing Jensen's hand and bringing him back to sit down at the couch,

"He's right," Jensen whispered, "We teach them not to do that, yet I did the exact same thing I tell them not to do. I didn't want to yell at her."

"People can push our buttons and she's been pushing yours for a long time," Danneel said, "She knows you didn't mean for it to come out that harsh."

"She probably thinks I hate her," he responded,

"Then you talk to her and make sure she understands that you are allowed to have bad days," Jared joined in, "You're human, brother. You can make mistakes. As long as you owe up to them and try better next time, you'll be forgiven. And Y/N is one of the kindest souls I've ever met. She'll have no problem forgiving you. If someone knows what it's like to keep all those feelings bottled up, it's gonna be her. I bet she ain't even mad."

"Jared's right, honey," Danneel cooed, kissing his temple, "He's very right. Just talk to her about it later. Let some time pass. And everything you said is true and we stand by what your point is. She has a good intention, just bad execution."

"I just want everything to be over so that we can adopt her and be a family and just live life without being in fear all the fucking time," Jensen breathed, running his hands through his hair,

"She's got a long road ahead of her, but we're gonna be there to support her no matter what," Danneel smiled softly, squeezing Jensen to her side, "You're so noble, to love her the way you love all three of the other kids. Your heart is so big and so loving. Don't ever forget that."

"I hope I can do enough to make her stay."

"She's not going to leave us," Jared pointed out, "She just has to learn that sometimes she can't do anything about something. And no matter what happens, she's still gonna be the one getting pranked alongside Misha. She's still gonna be our kid, no matter what. You gotta trust her on that."

"I do trust her, of course I do," Jensen breathed, "I just… I'm just scared of the endless possibilities. What if she kidnaps her and brings her back to Y/H/C? She said it herself, Y/M/N is playing this game very dirty. Who knows what she can do to her."

"Some things can't be stopped," Danneel said, "Of course we want to protect her and keep her safe. But some things can't be stopped and we cannot foresee what's gonna happen. She won't be stopped from doing whatever she wants to do to Y/N. I wish we knew and I wish we could act on it but maybe we won't be able to and that's okay too. She's not gonna blame you or anyone else for what her mother does. And we'll be here for her when it's over, to help her heal and give her a place to call home."

"Yeah," Jensen whispered, wrapping his arms around Danneel and hugging her back, "You should get some sleep, honey."

"You should too," she countered,

"I just downed another coffee. It might take a while before I start getting sleepy again."

"It doesn't matter," Danneel pointed out, "Just come lay with me when you calm down your jitters."

"I'll go out, get some food, make some lunch and dinner. Invite Misha over," Jared said, "When I come back everyone in this house better be sleeping," he said, standing up from his seat, walking over to Zeppelin's room, knocking on it softly before getting in and closing the door behind him,

"Sorry to interrupt," he spoke up with a smile, seeing how happy Zeppelin was as he played with Y/N, "I was wondering if you guys have any ideas for lunch and dinner tonight?"

"I'm fine with whatever," Y/N said, shrugging her shoulders,

"I wants pizza!" Zeppelin exclaimed, Y/N and Jared giggling,

"Yeah? How about everyone makes their own pizza tonight? Everyone gets to choose what to put on 'em?"

"Yeah!" Zeppelin exclaimed happily, "Thanks uncle Jare!"

"You're welcome," he smiled, ruffling his hair, "Are you happy because you get to play with Y/N?"

"Yea!" he said with a wide smile, "I love Y/N!"

"I love you too, big guy," Y/N smiled, Jared smiling as well,

"I'll leave you guys to it. You better get some sleep before lunch too. That's an order."

"That's a boring order," Zeppelin said, making you and Jared giggle,

"What do you say, is uncle Jare scary?" Y/N asked and Zeppelin shook his head,

"No. He funny and clumsy and old."

"Well thank you very much," Jared grumbled, "This old man will be going to the grocery store now and leave y'all to feeding the Jurassic Park over there."

"You okay?" Jared asked as he left Zeppelin's room, leaving the door slightly ajar. Jensen was leaning against one of many windows in his apartment, just looking out to the streets,

"Yeah," Jensen breathed, "Sorry for freaking you out earlier."

"Don't apologize," he shook his head, "I was kinda surprised by your abrupt leave though."

"I just..." Jensen shook his head, "I was so pissed at Y/M/N. Still fucking am. I would love to punch something. Preferably her face."

"We would be taking turns for that," Jared sighed, patting Jensen's back, "It's okay. Y/N is playing with Zeppelin, seems to calm her down a little. Give her a little bit of time."

"Yeah, will do," he whispered, "Thanks for being here man."

"It's what brothers do," he smiled, "I'll be heading out. Pineapple pizza for dinner?"

"You want to get your face punched instead?" Jensen asked, making Jared giggle and jokingly run away, "Shoo, old man."

"Your face is old!" Jared exclaimed from the doorway, closing the door behind him.

Jensen took one final glance from the window, scanning the blurry faces on the street. He sighed, walking away and into the room JJ and Arrow shared. He made sure they were nicely tucked in and leaned to give them both a kiss to their cheek before going to the bathroom.

He walked into the bathroom and washed his face. Seeing himself in the mirror scared him a little. The bags under his eyes definitely have their five minutes of glory. He grabbed his toothbrush and brushed his teeth before changing into a pair of shorts and a shirt and walking up to Zeppelin's room.

The door was slightly open and he saw Y/N and Zeppelin sitting on the floor, both of them playing with dinosaurs toys,

"Y/N," Zeppelin spoke up as he kept playing, "Why's daddy scared?"

"Uh, you remember that monster you dreamt of a while back?" Y/N asked and he nod, "Yeah, remember how I said I have dreams with monsters too?" Zeppelin nod again, "Dad is scared of some monsters of his own."

"He had a bad dream?" Zeppelin asked, looking at Y/N and stopping with playing, "But you told me daddy will protect us."

"He will, of course he will," Y/N smiled, "But daddy can be scared too. And he will still protect us, no matter what."

"He yelled at you," Zeppelin looked down, poking at one of his dinosaurs toys, "Is he mad at you?"

"Probably," Y/N sighed,

"Why?" he asked,

"I make mistakes. I've been making a lot of those recently."

"Like JJ?" he asked and she smiled,

"Sorta."

"But JJ doesn't talk to mommy and daddy when they're mad at her, or when she's mad at 'em. You talk to daddy. Why's he still mad at you then?"

"Just because we talk doesn't mean he's not mad at me. He's scared too. You remember how you reacted when you saw the monster in your dream?" Zeppelin nod, looking down in shame, "Hey, bubba, lookie at me," she tried, crawling over to him and picking him up and sitting him in her lap, "I'm not saying this to tease you. I'm trying to tell you that everyone reacts some way when they're scared."

"So, daddy yelled because he's scared?" Zeppelin asked and Y/N nod,

"Partly, yes. That's right bubba."

"Can we help him not to be scared anymore?" he asked and she smiled,

"I think this is just one of his bad days."

"So what do we do?"

"We remind him of how much we love him and give him an extra tight hug," Y/N said, Zeppelin nodding,

"Okay. Can I do it now?"

"I think dad's asleep. But you can totally do it when he wakes up. Now, I've got a little something for you..." Y/N said, reaching under the bed and grabbing a new Lego set of a monster truck and showing it to Zepp, which resulted in a squirm and a jump right on her,

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" he exclaimed, clinging to her. She smiled, hugging him and kissing his temple,

"You're welcome, you're welcome, you're welcome!" she responded, allowing Zeppelin to settle into her lap with a yawn, "You tired, big guy?" he nod, looking up to her, "I think it's time for a little nap. I'll wake you up for lunch and then we can start building this together. Maybe dad or uncle Jared would join us too."

"But I wanna play with you now," he said with a sad face,

"I know you want to but if we start making this truck now, I'm afraid we might get some sort of an animal instead of a truck since we haven't rested well. And also, mom said you can stay for a few days so we have plenty of time to play. And we don't want to be cranky like old man uncle Jared," she teased, making Zeppelin giggle, "Come on now, you can go ahead and pick a book you want me to read you as a nap-time story."

"I haven't heard of nap-time stories," he said,

"That's probably cuz I just made it up," you giggled, kissing the top of his head, "Go on sweetheart, pick a book. Then we can transfer the Jurassic park over on the shelf and read. Sounds good?"

"Yea!" Zeppelin exclaimed, standing up and going for the book shelf.

As Y/N stood up she saw Jensen on the doorway. He just smiled at her and nod, and she did the same. He leaned against the doorframe and watched as Zeppelin helped her bring the toys on the shelf and then watched him lie down and drift off quickly, as Y/N read him the book he picked.

As she finished, she tucked Zeppelin in and stood up quietly, picking up her bedding and walking up to the doorway where Jensen stood,

"Everything okay?" she asked,

"Yeah," Jensen nod with a smile, "Thanks for taking care of him."

"No problem," she smiled,

"You should sleep some, kiddo," he then said, making her roll her eyes, "Come on. You haven't slept any. You gotta rest some."

"I have to catch up with math that I missed last night. I don't have time for sleep right now."

"Do I need to read you a nap-time story to make you go to bed?" Jensen inclined, making Y/N smile,

"How much did you eavesdrop, old man?" she teased, making Jensen smile

"Enough to know of nap-time stories. And that Jared's the old man and not me," he smirked, "Come on sweetheart. Lunch won't be for another two hours minimum. You have a bunch of time after kids go to sleep to catch up with your math. Please?"

"Are you gonna get some sleep too?" she asked and he sighed, nodding,

"Promised Dee."

"I don't feel tired at all but okay, I'll try to," she sighed, "I'll sleep on the couch. That okay?"

"Yeah," Jensen nod, "One last question," he said as Y/N opened the door to Zeppelin's room, "You okay?" she smiled, nodding,

"Yeah. Go get some rest Jens. You need it," she said, closing the door to Zeppelin's room, going for the couch. Jensen waited for her to get comfy before approaching to tuck her in, making her giggle, "Dude, I'm not five."

"You're my kiddo, whether you're five, seventeen or seventy seven. Sleep tight," he smiled, kissing the top of her head before walking away to his room. He quietly walked over to his bed, laying down and facing Danneel's asleep form,

"Glad you came," she whispered, not opening her eyes but instead opening her arms for him, "Y/N and Zepp asleep?"

"Yup. Figured I'd come nap with my super hot wife," Jensen teased, seeing Danneel's eyes roll under the eyelids,

"You ain't getting anywhere with that. C'mere," she said, opening her arms for him, ". "You are long overdue for a cuddle. I missed you."

"I missed you too," he whispered as he cuddled up to her chest, "I love you."

"Love you too."

Your POV

"That is physics," Jensen spoke up and you giggled, shaking your head,

"Math."

"Whats arrows over letters doing in math?!" he exclaimed,

"Vectors," you smiled, "Everyone asleep?"

"Yep. I'd be surprised if they weren't," Jensen said as he sat down on the bar stool next to you, "Done with school for the day?"

"Yeah. You headed to bed too?"

"I wanted to talk about today with you before I go hear Danneel snoring in my ear."

"You're the one snoring, idiot," Danneel called out as she walked out of the bathroom, "How was school today?" she asked as she came up to you,

"Good. I have a physics test next week."

"Oh, that doesn't sound very pleasing," she said, making everyone giggle, "Okay. Both of you, don't stay up too late. Night Y/N," she smiled as she hugged you softly and you returned it,

"Night mom."

Jensen kept quiet at the way you called Danneel, but you swore something shined in his eyes, but something shattered as well. Maybe you shouldn't have said it.

"So, what did you wanna talk about?"

"I'm sorry for losing my temper earlier today. Zeppelin is right. I teach them not to yell yet I do exactly that."

"Jense, I know you didn't mean for it to come out that loud. I'm not mad at you. I was pissing you off for as long as we know each other. It was bound to happen and I know that."

"But you flinched," he said and you sighed, looking down, "I saw it."

"I just sometimes get scared. That's all."

"I should have watched my tone. I'm sorry."

"And I shouldn't have pushed your buttons. I'm the one who's supposed to apologize. I've been treating you like shit and you don't deserve it at all."

"It's okay. Have you thought a bit into the whole situation? Or do you need some time?" he asked and you sighed, nodding,

Uncle Jared's right. I just… don't know what to do anymore. I'm scared of her, I'm scared for your safety, for everyone's safety, yet I don't want anyone to suffer because of me. It's so complicated."

"Yet very simple," Jensen said, "You stay with us. We finish filming, go to Texas, stay the summer there. I was thinking we could go for a little vacation somewhere. We come back to Vancouver and keep filming in November. You'll be in your third year of high-school and you'll do great."

"And what if something comes up? What if she does something?"

"Then we deal with it when it comes. We can't live in fear, kiddo. We can't live like this, afraid of taking a step. We're gonna be extra cautious, of course, but we can't lock ourselves in and do nothing. We gotta keep living as normal as we can, given the circumstances."

"You think she's not gonna do anything?" you asked, biting on your lip,

"I don't know what she thinks and what she plans to do. What I know is that we're all gonna try to protect each other. And that's all that matters. Besides, she can't keep this up for that long. She's gonna fuck up and set herself to be caught. It's just a matter of time."

"I have such a bad feeling about this all," you said, "I don't want her to be here anymore. How come she isn't arrested?"

"She's definitely hiding well. And with her connections with CPS, she's gotta have some in the federal department too. You said it yourself."

"She's gonna do something big. It's only a matter of time," you said, "She always does something big when shit doesn't go her way. She always makes some big problems."

"And we can't stop her from that. But we can make sure to act properly when it happens and stay close. It's the one thing we gotta do. We gotta stay together. She can't get through any of us when we're together. It's what she doesn't understand and doesn't know. She's powerless when we're together."

"She's never had anyone to have her back," you said, "She thinks her mom has her back but she's just using her. She always told me that I don't need any friends, that I'm better off on my own. That nobody needs friends. She thinks she's doing just fine without any friends and she tried to make me have no friends either."

"I see how well the no friends situation is coming down for her," Jensen sassed, making you giggle, "It doesn't matter. It's her life, she can screw it however she wants to. Only thing we won't let her do is screw you again."

"Yeah. But just because she doesn't understand how strong we are doesn't mean she won't try to do anything and everything to break me apart. And now you too. You understand what you're getting yourself into, right? I don't want you to get hurt, Jensen. Not you, not anyone. This is on me. If something happens to you-"

"What I've gotten myself into is a relationship with this wonderful kiddo who's got heart bigger than the sun. This kiddo who loves without limits, who cares and feels deeply, the kid who can smile, sing and joke around. You're a wonderful person and just because you have shitty baggage doesn't mean you're a bad person. Especially because you can't do anything to ship off the shitty baggage."

"Sorry for all of this," you whispered, looking down, "Sorry for being an ass to you. You didn't deserve any of it."

"It's true. I didn't deserve any of it," Jensen agreed, "But I understand that you're having a hard time with coming to grounds about things such as having a supportive family. You're still in that flight or fight mode you've been in for years and I also know you're stubborn as hell. I'm not mad at you and you're not making any mistakes or doing anything that would make me mad. You're just living the way you lived back in Y/H/C. And yes, you don't have to live like that anymore, but it's gonna take time for you to let go of old habits."

"I... I always got beaten up after an argument," you said with a sad smile as you looked at Jensen, "When something like this today came down, she'd beat me while I was sleeping. Wake me up in the process. Leave me crying quietly, sometimes beat me up again because I was crying, even though I was quiet. That's why I flinched today."

"I might lose my temper and raise my voice but I'm never, ever going to hit you. We're gonna talk it out. Whatever it is, no matter how difficult it is or how stressful it is, we're gonna talk it out. Just like we're doing now."

"Thanks for treating me like a human," you then said, smiling, "Even though you don't agree with my opinions, you still listened."

"You're always gonna be my kiddo but that doesn't mean that you're gonna be treated as a five year old when something important is being discussed. You are entitled to your own opinion and that's completely normal."

"Thanks. And sorry for being an ass. I'll try to do better in the future."

"And that's all I'm asking," he smiled at you, standing up from his stool and walking up to you to hug you, "To try."

"You're a sap," you teased, hugging him back,

"I know, Dean doesn't approve. Now, where are you sleeping?"

"I thought to sleep here, on the couch. I've stayed up for my classes anyway so-"

"Daddy," a small voice called, making Jensen turn around as you both looked in the direction where the sound came from, "I-I had a nightmare," Arrow hiccuped, approaching you two. Jensen frowned, meeting her halfway and picking her up,

"Yeah baby girl? You wanna stay with me and Y/N for a while?" she nod, leaning her head against Jensen's shoulder as he began swaying her,

"What was it about Ro?" you asked, "If you're comfortable with talking about it," she shook her head and you frowned, "That's okay. What can we do to help you feel better?"

"Sing," she whispered, ever so gently, "Y/N, sing."

"Me?" you said, surprised at the request. She just nod, Jensen nodding you to sit on the sofa with them. You followed his cue, sitting on the sofa with Jensen, Arrow still in his arms.

You began softly singing, getting Arrows full attention as she looked at you, her head leaned against Jensen's shoulder. You kept singing songs that came to your mind, basically anything on your first language that had a soft tune to it.

It didn't take her long to fall asleep, soundly held in her dad's embrace. You smiled, leaning to kiss the top of her head, Jensen' halfway asleep as well,

"I would never figure out why you hid that angelic voice from us," he said, ruffling your hair. You rolled your eyes, grabbing the blanket and throwing it over him and Arrow,

"Sleep here with her," you said, "I'll go finish something for school and then-"

"No," Jensen shook his head, grabbing your hand gently, "You lay down with us too. Cuddle puddle."

"Jense-"

"No arguments," he breathed, "We're too tired. Let's just sleep. Come on," you sighed, knowing you're not gonna win this argument. You laid down, Jensen throwing another blanket over you and giving you your pillows, "Expect the other two to be all over us in the morning. I am not responsible if any of your kidneys decide to go on a walk when they jump on us," he said, making you giggle,

"Don't worry. My little cousin back in Y/H/C did that all the time to me. I'm trained well."

"Yeah, I can tell," he smiled, "Night, Y/N."

"Night Jens."

A/N 2: Thanks for reading! And, @crasmuna, you are so fucking far away so I can't hug you, so this will have to do <3

[mxssingmemories]

julian's masterlist !

Chris Evans

❁ Making Magic

Y/N is an equestrian, and has been for years. Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan are her mentors and father figures. It's Y/N's first horse show-what could go wrong? Or, in her case, what could go right?

❁ It'll Be Okay

You just started a new job and have started getting bad migraines. Chris just wants to be there for his daughter.

❁ A Fresh Start

Y/N is finally moving out of her childhood home. It's a big decision, but she knows she's got Chris and Sebastian in her corner.

Sebastian Stan

❁ Making Magic

Y/N is an equestrian, and has been for years. Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan are her mentors and father figures. It's Y/N's first horse show-what could go wrong? Or, in her case, what could go right?

❁ A Fresh Start

Y/N is finally moving out of her childhood home. it's a big decision, but she knows she's got Sebastian and Chris in her corner.

❁ Back to School

It's back to school time for Y/N, how much chaos can this possibly cause in the Stan household?

❁ Paparazzi Sucks

On a father-daughter date, paparazzi do their best to ruin it. Sebastian doesn't let it get to you too much, though; lots of fluff &lt;3

Tom Holland

❁ Best Friend Ever

You found out some news about yourself and you really want to tell your best friend Tom. You're really worried about how he'll react, but he comes through like the amazing person he is.

❁ Not A Girl

Y/N is trans male, and after a fight with his mom, he goes straight to the person who knows him the best-Tom. They've been best friends for years, and Tom's happy to help his favorite person however he can.

Tony Stark

❁ Burgers

You're sick, and you scare the shit out of your dad. Fluff and burgers ensue.

Jensen Ackles

❁ Go Fish, Bitch

When Jensen gets bored, he tends to cause chaos. Today, he brings Y/N into the chaos, and she loves it. In which a card game commences, and Jensen loses by a long shot.

Harry Styles

❁ That Just Happened

You've known Harry since you've been in high school-little does he know that you see him as a father figure. After a really rough day, you accidentally call him dad. Love ensues.

I Write For:

M A R V E L:

>Tony Stark

>Bruce Banner

>Black Widow

>Pepper Potts

>Steve Rogers

>Peter Parker

>Tom Holland

>Chris Evans

>Sebastian Stan

>RDJ

>Chris Hemsworth

>Anthony Mackie

S U P E R N A T U R A L:

>Dean Winchester

>Sam Winchester

>Castiel

>Jensen Ackles

>Jared Padalecki

>Misha Collins

M A R A U D E R S:

>James Potter

>Lily Evans

>Sirius Black

>Remus Lupin

>Peter Pettigrew

B R O O K L Y N N I N E N I N E

>Jake Peralta

>Ray Holt

>Terry Jeffords

C R I M I N A L M I N D S

***I am only on the first season!! I'm not familar with the characters, but I'm really loving the idea of writing for some of em :)

>Spencer Reid

>Aaron Hotchner

>Derek Morgan

Please keep in mind that I am currently only writing platonic fics! I'm writing teen!reader, daughter!reader, best friend!reader, or sister!reader. I am comfortable writing pretty much anything, so please feel free to send in a request.

Request Status: Open!

major thank you to @aadapaadakaunpaada who helped me figure this whole thing out :)

[seenthisepisode]

early 2021 spn destiel tumblr simulator

canondestiel reblogged castielscock follow

i did NOT have a "destiel goes explicitly romantically both sided canon BUT in spanish and THEN misha collins tries to set things straight while in a middle of a divorce on a thanksgiving day" on my bingo list but here we are i guess?!

#the cw sniper's aim was right between his eyes probably

27 896 notes

slickdean reblogged blowjobdean

WHY LA VERDAD????? NO DESPAIR???? #TheySilencedThem #CoWards

#tinfoil hat and clown shoes stay on honk honk

56 438 notes

endgamehandprint reblogged willowdestiel follow

know your herstory ;)

#he was always on our side!!!!!!

7 843 notes

deancascanon reblogged 11052020

hellerjensenackles

not jensen ackles talking about blue green flannel 😭 go off heller king 😞✊

deanswinchestres-deactivated091

come onn this was on accident and i love the guy but he is at best indifferent to the concept to destile

britneycastiel

he was literally asked for permission to film the confession scene. and he gave his blessing so shut up

castieltops

#destile 😭

#while i think he was maybe not into destiel at the beginning he was an enjoyer of it in the later seasons #because the concept of kissing misha or whatever wasn't scary anymore it was but an everyday routine for him <3 #cockles

6 508 notes

robertsingerhater follow

after years of hatecriming and queerbaiting i am done. i am so officially done. i will never watch another cw show. we shouldn't be giving them any money or recognition. in these few easy steps i will explain how it's best to boycott w*lker and what hashtags to use on twitter on the special time at the special date:

--------------------------Read More---------------------------

4 375 notes

lgbtcasdean reblogged impalasexx

dickstiel

"the original ending was something that i feel would be much better explored in fan fiction anyway" MISHA WHAT DID YOU FUCKING MEAN BY THAT

omegiansensibilities

he also talked about rainbow wings ;_; OH MY GOD what if they are iridescent?!?!?

swiftieenatural follow

IRIDESCENT CAS WINGS ARE NOW CANON TO ME CAN SOMEONE DRAW THIS OMG

12 703 notes

gabrielsamrowena follow

so first they say the bloody handprint was sp8's idea, then they say it was just something that came to them on the spot and then jensen admits it was his idea only to later contradict it and say it was misha's idea???? what is the fucking truth can someone write a tell-all memoir that turns into an hbo documentary already i NEED to know EVERYTHING

5 820 notes

cocklesdreams reblogged mishasjensens

help me and @cockkless were trying to figure it out and we listened to the scene 4647 times and analyzed it frame by fram WHAT DID HE SAY are we hearing things

3 786 notes

hellermishaswift

YOU'RE TELLING ME JENSEN HAS WHAT on his phone???????

#he filmed the scene. he filmed it. he fucking did that. the insane motherfucker did that because he knew. #right? #he had to know that this scene will get buthcered in the end. that the most important stuff won't be in teh final cut #apart from castiel's i love you of course but i guess he might have thought this might be cut too??? #what the absolute hell was going on that set that day

9 364 notes

angelstouch reblogged submissivedeans

there is another online con this weekend and i will be livestreaming it here <333

#but also if they mention the plane accident again i will kms and stop streaming <3 ask destiel questions or else 🔪🔪🔪

5 293 notes

whylamp reblogged milfrowena

samswig follow

do we think that the rogue translator and cw sniper ever explored each oth- [I AM BEING FORCIBLY DRAGGED OUTSIDE] [GUNSHOTS ARE HEARD]

twistanddshouut

no but i bet the no homo intern and the cw twitter intern did tho <3

#if you remember the no homo intern you might be entitled to financial compensation . few people know that :)

75 367 notes

[forevermores-posts]

Red Carpet Nerves

Pairing - Jared Padalecki x Reader(platonic),  Jensen Ackles x Reader(platonic), GenderNeutral!Reader

Summary - Jensen, and Jared help you through your first red-carpet nerves.

Warnings - Anxiety 

Words - 1226

It was your second season on the show and your character had finally started becoming more critical. It wasn't that you weren't in the first, more that you have more scenes, especially with Jensen and Jared.  Both men had taken a liking to you the first time you met and throughout your time together, you became a part of their friend group. 

You had been planning for this red carpet premier for months now. The fans were talking about it for what seemed like forever and they were patiently waiting to see you there. You had no idea what to expect since you'd never been on a red carpet. Honestly, this was your first real role anyway. As the days crept closer the nerves started to kick in, but you didn't tell anyone. You were still filming for the next season and people on set started to notice your changed behavior. 

After the last of shooting for the week, Jensen came up to you. “Hey Y/N, you alright? You’ve been a little quiet lately. Couldn’t help but notice.”

“Uh yeah, I’m fine. I’ve just been tired all week. It's all good.”

“Oh, that's good…Well anyway, Jared and I  got a limo for the premiere on Sunday but Misha just canceled on us. He wanted to drive himself. Do you wanna come with us? We don’t mind. It’s all paid for anyway.”

You took a second to respond. Thinking over all the nerves you've had recently. Maybe this will help. A drink and some friends before the premiere. “Yeah sure, just let me know when and where. It sounds fun!” ~~~~~~~~~~~~

The day was here. You had barely slept last night because every time you tried to rest the thoughts of everything that could go wrong came up. What if I trip? What if all my pictures look bad? What if they don't even want pictures of me?  It was all too much. When you started getting ready it was 7 am and the guys were picking you up outside at 2. The morning was slow but you had time. You didn't even get dressed till 1:30. After all you were a great procrastinator and anxiety always seem to make it so much worse.  

Next thing you know, it's 2 o'clock, and your standing on your porch, all dressed up, waiting for the guys. You could feel your anxiety at the surface and your hands wanting to shake but you held it in. You kept telling yourself to take deep breaths because if they guys saw you this nervous, they would laugh. After all, this is all super embarrassing. Even more, since they guys are clearly more experienced than you at this.  

It seemed like in the blink of an eye they guys were getting out in front of you. “Y/N you coming or what? You’ve been standing there for like 5 minutes,” Jared yells at you from the limo. You walk to the car and got in but you notice the guy's worried eyes. They took note of the way you didn't respond, the way you just stared off into space, and how your hands had a slight tremble in them. The two men glanced at each other just now putting together the way you'd been acting and the fact that this is your first red carpet, something you'd told them about months ago while at a bar.

“Are you nervous? ..Y/N?” Jared asked while looking at you from across the limo. Jensen, opposite to his character, was the more emotional one of the two. He slid closer to you and put an arm around you, just trying to provide comfort. 

“Just a little. I’m fine though. It's just first-time nerves ya know. No biggie,” immediately defending yourself.

Not believing a word you said Jenson responded, “No your not…It's okay to be nervous. I mean we all were, and I still am sometimes. We can all see how stressed you've been about this but don't worry, you're going to kill it. All the fans love you and you are great with all the interviews. Just be yourself.”

“I just don't know what I’m doing! I don't know how to pose or where to look. What if I fall? Those pictures will never go away!” It felt good to finally express all your thoughts. They've been held in for who knows how long.

“How about this? You can stick to one of us all night. One of us will always be with you to stop anything that goes wrong,” Jared suggests.

You took a moment. What if they want pictures alone? You can move to the side or the fans always love it when you guys are together. “That's could work I guess.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

As you got out of the limo, you could hear the fans and paparazzi talking. You looked at Jensen with worried eyes and he reached for your hand. It was such an innocent act but he knew you just needed to feel like someone to be there with you. You followed the managers and boys around like a lost puppy until you realized it was time to go on. You took a deep breath and took your hand out of  Jensen’s.

As you took your first step out you heard the yelling start. It took you by surprise and you took a step back. Jensen and Jared both put a hand on your back and slightly pushed you forward.  

Jared put his arm over your shoulders and bent down to say, “Just simile and kinda look as one spot on the wall.” You did as he said you were blinded for a second. The flashes came in fast but they went away soon after. You did this again and again with both boys until you reached the first interviewer. 

“Hey Y/N, how is tonight going?” Marie the interviewer from Buzzfeed asked. 

“It's good… very loud and very bright but I'm excited to hear what people say about the new season!”

“Good, good. I can't help but ask, you've been sticking J2 all night. What is all of that about? We saw you holding hands with Jensen and Jared had his arm around you.”

“Well being the best friends that they are, they've been helping me through all night. This is my first big role and my first red carpet. I've been a nervous wreck all week preparing but I don't know what I’d do without these boys,” you responded not really ashamed of it anymore.

You continued the night on your own after telling Jensen you were confident enough to do it yourself. The next day you went online to see what the pictures looked like. Personally, you thought you looked amazing and so did the fans.  You saw a ton of fans commenting on that interview saying it was awesome how you felt comfortable enough to share that and how the boys helped you out. 

Just then you got a text from Jensen. 

“You did great Y/N! The pictures look great. Nothing is wrong with being nervous or anxious. Just tell us sooner next time, because we will always be there to help.”

[jassackles]

An Actress Life - Chapter 14

warnings: drunk!reader, mad!jensen, fighting, embarrassment, talk about rape

word count: 1,675 words

A/N: sorry, that I changed the POV completely; but my 16-year-old self thought, that was a good idea to change it in the middle of a story sksksks sorry! 

"I'm sorry, that I believed you would just care about sex right now." She says quietly, feeling extremely guilty for actually believing that Jensen, the Jensen she loves so much, would only think about sex in this kind of situation. "It kinda sounded that way...and I'm really sorry it did." He says quietly, he loves you more than anything, he would never want that you feel pressured by him, the man you love so much. "I don't want to keep fighting with you." She mumbles into his chest, holding tightly onto him. 

"Me neither. I just...I just want you to be alright and what's best for you." He says softly, hugging her closer. "I know, that's why I feel so selfish sometimes." She says with a deep sigh, she feels like it's always about her, he's thinking way too much about her feelings. "No chick flick moments, Dean would say." She adds a moment later to brighten the mood. When she hears him chuckle, she feels her heart skip a beat. "He definitely would." He says playfully before kissing her head gently. 

They hold onto each other enjoying the moment. Jensen looks around the kitchen noticing it's almost 5:23 PM. "We should get ready." He whispers softly into Y/N's ear. She looks up at him with a small pout, causing him to smile lovingly at her. She looks at the clock, knowing he's right. She sighs softly and nods pulling away, "You're right, we should get ready." 

The two of them walk upstairs and separate their ways. Jensen's gets a shower, while Y/N gets dressed into something that aren't joggers and a top. She grabs a comfy jeans and a hoodie her mom gave her, before she flew to Vancouver to sign the papers for her role in Supernatural. Jensen walks into the bedroom a moment later and she can't help, but check him out. She notices how low the towel is wrapped around his hips, his toned abs, his perfectly shaped bow legs, are running through her mind. As much as she doesn't like thinking about sex right now, she can't help, but stare at the beautiful Jensen Ackles. "You okay?" Jensen's voice interrupts her thoughts, she just had about him. She blinks and looks at him, nodding, not really trusting her own words. 

He nods and gives you a small smile as he grabs a pair of boxers, a jeans and a flannel. He takes his clothes on, before applying some cologne. "You ready?" He asks her softly and she nods getting off the bed. They walks downstairs into the hallway to take their shoes on. When they're about to leave Y/N remembers the beer in the fridge. 

"Wait, the beer." She heads into the kitchen and takes the beer out of the fridge. "I almost forgot about that." He says with a small laugh. 

"Good, that I remembered." She says, smiling at him. Jensen walks out of the house after her and closes the door, making sure it's locked, before they walk to Jared's house. He takes her hand in his as he carries the beer with the other hand. 

A few minutes later, Y/N rings the doorbell and smiles lovingly, when she sees Gen with baby Shep in her arms. He sleeps peacefully, sucking onto his pacifier. "Hey." Y/N whispers softly and hugs Gen's side, kissing Shep's head gently. "Hey." She whispers back and smiles at them, before leading them inside. 

Jensen and Y/N walk into the backyard, where Jared, Misha, Mark and some other friends of the crew already are. Jared gets of his chair almost immediately up, when he sees them. "Hey." He says softly and pulls Y/N into a tight hug as Jensen greets the others first. 

"I'm so sorry." He whispers and kisses her head gently. She gives him a weak smile, nodding before she pulls away. Misha suddenly comes to her and pulls her into a hug, without saying a word, what she totally prefers in that moment. "Who's hungry?" Jared asks with a huge smile. Jared loves throwing barbecue parties. Jared loves, when the whole crew and cast gets together. "Me, I'm starving." She says with a small laugh, before Jared and Jensen walk to the grill. 

Y/N and Misha sit down and start catching up on each other. Thankfully,  Misha doesn't bring up the thing from the day before. 

''Dude, I don't know what to do.'' Jensen tells Jared, rubbing his chin. He looks up from the grill and looks at Jensen. "I'm so sorry, when Gen told me what happened, i didn't really know what to do. I just don't get, how men do that to women ?" Jared says with a small sigh. "I don't understand either." Jensen says with a small sigh and Jared gives him a sympathetic smile, patting his back. "Everything will be fine, just give her some time." Jensen nods with a small smile, before looking at Y/N and watching her laugh about something Misha said, thanks Misha. 

"But Jar." "Yeah?" Jared says and looks up from the grill to look at Jensen. "Since a week or so,  I have been thinking about...about proposing to Y/N and-." "You what?" Gen interrupts quietly, standing behind them. 

Jensen turns around and sees a huge smile on her face, then he looks back to Jared, who also smiles. "Nice to hear that, but isn't that a bit too fast?" Jared asks gently, just wanting his friends to be safe and happy. "Maybe, but I don't want to wait anymore. I love her, man. I want her to be my wife, like now. I want to make her happy and spend the rest of my life with her." He tells his friends. Gen and Jared look at each other, before smiling at Jensen. "Do you have a specific plan?" She asks curiously, since she thinks her best friend deserves the most beautiful proposal. 

"I thought about traveling through Europe and then in Venice or Amsterdam or Rome I want to purpose to her." He rambles a bit, excitement rushing through him. "Oh my God, you are so romantic." Gen says and hits his shoulder playfully. "But don't forget about JIBCON." Jared says with a laugh. "I never could." "I will help you with your plan." Gen says happily and excitedly. Jensen nods and smiles thankfully at her. 

"This will be amazing, when my best friends are finally getting married." He says happily. "I hope she's gonna say yes." "She will." He assures Jensen. 

"Who will what?" Y/N asks curiously. "Uh- My mom will be happy to see you again." He stutters nervously. "I will be happy too." She says with a smile, even tho she notices his nervousness. "Jensen, can I talk to you for a minute?" Jared asks. "Sure." He says and they walk into Jared's office.

That was weird, he's hiding something, Y/N tells herself. She looks around and notices all the alcohol, wanting to drown herself in it. She grabs herself a drink, a heavy one. To be honest, Y/N isn't much of a drinker, but right now she just wants to get drunk and forget about what happened. 

She sits down between Jared and Misha, while Jensen and Gen sit across from them. They eat and talk, have some laughs, but the drinks for Y/N kept coming. Jensen feels angry with her, if he's being honest, not understanding why she's drinking so much.

 "Y/N, maybe you should stop." Jensen says gently and is about to take the drink out of her hands, but she grips it tighter, turning away from him. "No, I-I don't think so." She slurs and finishes the drink in one go. Jared and Gen look worriedly at each other, before looking at Y/N again. 

She refills her glass with whiskey one more time and Jensen grows angrier. Gen walks over to her. "Honey, I don't know how you're feeling, but-". "Yes, you're right you don't know how I'm feeling." She snaps at her and cuts her off, sipping her drink. Jared and Jensen come over to the two. 

She refills it again and finishes it fast. "You'll definitely got enough." Jared says and takes her glass. She pouts in protest, slurring something they can't figure out. "Jensen, please just take her home, I-We don't want to fight with her. I mean she's completely drunk." Gen says soft, not really being mad at Y/N. "I'm so sorry, guys." Jensen says rubbing his face in embarrassment. "Y/N we go. Now!" He tells her firmly and grabs her wrist before  dragging her through the front door.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!" He yells at her, but she just laughs at him. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" She mocks him laughing, she really can't take him seriously at all. He walks in front of her and turns around. "I don't know what is going on inside your head, but you never drink your problems away, y/n/n." She just laughs. 

"It's senseless, you take nothing serious right now." He says with a sigh, rubbing his face. A few minutes later he opens the door, leading the two of them inside.  She looks at her phone, it's 5 minutes after midnight.

"Happy birthday Baby." She slurs and starts kissing him messily. Jensen feels a bit uncomfortable as hs pushes you away gently. "Thank you, but you're drunk. You will regret this next morning." He tells her softly. "I don't care." She slurs and starts kissing him harshly. 

"Y/N we can't do this." He swallows hard. "Of course we can, it's your birthday." She kisses his neck sloppily. "Enough, y/n!" He exclaims and pushes her gently away. "Just get some sleep." He says quietly. "When it's that what you want." She slurs and he sighs. She walks into living room and plops down on the couch, falling asleep almost immediately.

Read next part here! :)

————

tag list: @leigh70​ @jensensgirl @stoneyggirl2​

TAG LIST OPEN! Check out my pinned post!

[amberjazmyn]

instagram

𝓲𝓶𝓪𝓰𝓲𝓷𝓮 - instagram

𝔀𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 - legit none, just some fluffy couple instagram posts

𝓭𝓮𝓼𝓬𝓻𝓲𝓹𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 - a series of instagram posts from users alexandercalvert and yourusername.

𝓪𝓾𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓻'𝓼 𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓮 - i just wanted to get another chapter out so i thought this would be a cute idea but if anyone has any ideas, please let me know as i am struggling to come up with original ideas rather than recycling older chapters. 

masterlist part two

- - - 

liked by yourusername, misha, jaredpadalecki, jensenackles, genpadalecki and 89,4k others

alexandercalvert who needs wine tastings when i have my own private tastings every day👅

view all 200 comments

yourusername alcal has gone rouge y'all 

alexandercalvert you like it

misha i don't know if i should be proud or slightly disgusted...

alexandercalvert misha honestly, this isn't my proudest moment right now so i don't mind if you say that you're disgusted 

jaredpadalecki who knew alcal was a kinky bastard? 

jensenackles i'm mildly amused by this and i feel ashamed of myself 

genpadalecki gorgeous couple 

liked by alexandercalvert, jensenackles, danneelackles512, robenedict, dicksp8jr and 76.5k others

yourusername aunty y.n duties with the eldest ackles baby 🤍

view all 300 comments

alexandercalvert you and jj are just adorable together babe

jensenackles and i thought jj was a mini mummy but, she's more of a mini you, y.n 🤍

danneelackles512 this is such a sweet photo, y.n. jj absolutely adores you and is always excited to hang out with you 🤍

robenedict one of the best aunties in the world

dicksp8jr am loving the matchy match you two! 

liked by alexandercalvert,jaredpadalecki, jensenackles, misha, ruthie_connell, robenedict, genpadalecki and 99.9k others

yourusername hey, alcal, should we get married alexandercalvert? 

view all 1,000 comments

alexandercalvert i'm so pumped baby! 

jaredpadalecki hold up, pause, what now? i think i may have missed a couple of chapters! 

jensenackles hold the fucking phone, what?!

misha are y'all serious? cause if you're joking i'm gonna be so mad! 

ruthie_connell it's happening, stay calm everybody! 

robenedict wait, is there seriously going to be another spnfamily wedding?!

genpadalecki omg what?

liked by yourusername and 2,350k others

alexandercalvert y.n y.m.n y.l.n you are the love of my life and my soulmate. 

you are the only person that i've loved this seriously like this. i am in love with you so much that i think half of my brain is actually just images of you and the future we're going to have together. you are my favourite person in the entire world and the best distraction when my mind gets too busy. you always know how to make me happy and laugh. but you still remind me that i don't have to be happy all the time. you always remind me that i can cry, get anxious, get scared, etc. you never force me to always be one thing or feel one thing all the time. i knew the day i first met you before we reunited on supernatural that i was going to fall in love with you and one day marry you. you take care of me in your own way and it's now the only way i know how to be taken care of. you have your own special way of calming me down, treating me, loving me and it's the perfect way for me and only me. i love the way your eyes and nose crinkle up when you smile or have a laughing fit. i love how you are so good at your job as an actress but as an author and activist. i love the way you pull your hair back with one of the many colourful claw clips that you have an extensive collection of. i love how you try to blow strands of hair from you face when i mess it up on purpose. i love how you distract me when we're supposed to be filming a take. i love how, even though you find it difficult at first, you always maintain eye contact when you're in conversation with somebody you don't know. i love how kind you always are to everyone, no matter if they were rude or if they were nice. i love how positive you are. i love how you take care of your nieces and nephews, i can already see what an amazing mother you'd be to our future children. i love how fearless you are. i love the way you always steal my clothes. i love the way you always wear the same colours that i do even if it's on purpose or unintentionally when it's not my own clothes you're wearing. i love how you always have to wear at least one of my own clothing items in your outfit when we're on set in vancouver because it truly does look better on you always. i love the way you always defend me when anyone feels the need to say things that you don't like as though they expect you to be disgusted by me. i love how you aren't embarrassed by the weird things i do. i love how you love me for me and nothing else. 

view all 1,000 comments

yourusername i love you even more alcal and i cannot wait to marry you, you gorgeous man

jaredpadalecki y'all were serious! congratu-fucking-lations! 

jensenackles my phone is held and i am shocked! congrats y'all 

misha you were very serious and i am so happy! congratulations you two

ruthie_connell i am so happy that you guys were serious! congratulations my lovelies

robenedict i'm so happy there's another spnfamily wedding! 

genpadalecki i'm screaming!!!!

danneelackles512 omg this is so exciting! congratulations alex and y.n! 

- - - 

this was so much fun to write again but for alexander calvert and now, part two will be up shortly as well! 

ok bye ily xx

wc; 1018

[mattzerella-sticks]

Guys, listen - Jensen directing an episode of W*lker is just so the network can stuff the next in-person con featuring the 2 J's with questions no one really wants to know the answers to.

[impostoradult]

I finally figured out why it feels like Supernatural murdered a unicorn (AKA why you need to STOP telling me to watch Black Sails)

I’ll start by saying, everything everyone else has been saying CERTAINLY bothers me: 

- the queer-baiting - the bury your queers - the undermining of Dean’s character arc  - the wasted opportunity for a certain kind of overall narrative closure - the flat out disrespect to Misha Collins and Jensen Ackles

 All of that bothers me tremendously. 

But there has been something else rather ineffable about this that has left a horrible taste in my mouth that I couldn’t quite pin down until last night. Bear with me, if you will, because this will require some set-up. 

*** This is not the first show to ever disappoint me in a spectacular fashion, nor will it be the last, I suspect. And one of the ways I’ve always coped with that disappointment was to remind myself that there will be other stories, other characters, other chances to get it right. (”It” being any number of things from just pure narrative emotional coherence to not burying your queers to not stringing along your queer audience and then yelling fuck you to them on the way out) 

But somehow that assurance -- that there will be other stories, other characters, other chances to get it right -- has rung particularly hollow in this instance, and I couldn’t quite put my finger on why until yesterday. 

I kept asking myself, why do I still have this feeling, deep in the pit of my stomach, like something was lost here that can never be recovered? 

Because something was lost here that I am doubtful can ever be recovered, and I don’t think I’ve seen anyone else talking about this aspect of it at all. 

***

A few months ago, TV critic Maureen Ryan did a great interview piece with Mike Schur (of Parks & Rec/The Good Place) discussing the death of long-form TV in the streaming era. They explore how the longer seasons and longer runs of traditional broadcast/cable TV provided an opportunity to tell particular kinds of stories that you simply can’t when seasons are 8-10 episodes and series typically run 2-4 seasons (thanks Netflix).

One key thing we’ve all lost in this new era of highly condensed TV storytelling (and of prestige TV narrative styles)? The traditional (several season’s long) slow-burn/will-they-won’t-they romance. Not only is there simply no longer the time or space to write such romances, it has also come to be seen as hacky, manipulative, cheap, artistically impoverished, low-brow, a embarrassing vestige of the era before TV became art™. 

Everybody is trying to be Fleabag now. No one wants to be Frasier. (”It’s really more like a 10 hour movie” they all like to brag)

Obviously TV still has romances, even ‘drawn out’ romances. But ‘drawn out’ in 2020 is like 2-3 seasons, maybe. More commonly it’s like half a season. Take Schitt’s Creek. The number of episodes between when David and Patrick first meet and when they first kiss? Seven. Seven episodes. Half a season. If you watched it live, it took less than 2 months for them to move from introducing that dynamic to consummating it. And I’m not bagging on Schitt’s Creek; I think the David/Patrick’s story is very lovely and well-written. 

But Niles & Daphne (Fraiser) had to wait 7 years and over 150 episodes before they finally got there. Josh & Donna (The West Wing) had to wait 6+ years, and 145 episodes. Mulder & Scully (The X-Files) had to wait 7 seasons and 143 episodes. Booth & Bones had to wait...you see where I am going with this. 

And my point is (and I can’t believe I never realized this explicitly until now): there has NEVER been a queer slow-burn/will-they-won’t-they romance of that type on TV ever. EVER. 

I’m going to say that again, because I think it bares repeating:

There has never been a queer, slow-burn/will-they-won’t-they romance that fits the 100-150 episode paradigm of delayed gratification on TV. 

Not ever.  

I can’t think of ONE example  Not a single, solitary one. And I know queer TV pretty well. Arguably the closest we’ve ever come is Legend of Korra, and that ran 50 episodes, a THIRD of the length of old school will-they-won’t-theys like Booth & Bones or Josh & Donna. 

Queer people have had a fair number of canonical romances on TV by now, even fairly long running ones. But we never got a primary/front-and-center romance that you had to root for for 100+ episodes before you got any kind of canonical consummation.

That is a particular kind of TV experience that queer people and queer characters were just 100% shut out of until it was too late. And because of how the TV landscape has changed in the last 10 years, I don’t know that that opportunity will ever come back around in our lifetimes. 

***

Dean and Castiel are/were a legacy of an earlier era of TV, an era that still contained the possibility for a will-they-won’t-they of that particular mold. There were other shows that could have also filled this gap at one time - Rizzoli & Isles, OUAT, House MD, etc. But one by one all of them were killed off, their queer romances unrequited, until Supernatural was the only one of its’ generation left standing. 

And they should have acknowledged that they were a species about to become extinct. 

There are plenty of other valid and compelling reasons Supernatural should have gone full Destiel, don’t get me wrong.

A) It would have been the most emotionally satisfying ending to the series and to those characters (and that would have been reason enough). 

B) It would have stopped the manipulative queer-baiting of the (disproportionately queer) fanbase (and that would have been reason enough). 

C) It would have been queer representation of middle-aged men, of bi men, of queers who came to their queerness later in life (and any/all of those would have been reason enough). 

D) It could have been a glorious subversion of the bury your queers trope, considering how often they’ve died and been resurrected (and that would have been reason enough). 

But point E) on this list is the reason this one hurts in a singular way that no one even appears to be acknowledging. 

Almost all of the other wrongs and missed opportunities contained in this Supernatural debacle have the possibility of being rectified (at least to a degree) elsewhere. I can and I likely will get more bi male characters from TV as time goes on. I can and likely will get more middle-aged queer characters. I can and likely will get more queer characters coming to their queerness later in life, and starting queer romances later in life. I can and likely will get more queer characters who aren’t killed cheaply and prematurely. I can and likely will get more genre TV shows with sprawling myth arc plots that are resolved in a coherent, satisfying way. I can and likely will get Misha Collins and Jensen Ackles involved in other projects that value their work and their talents. 

All of those other things are at the very least POSSIBLE, and many are even likely. 

But a queer 100-150 episode slow-burn romance a la Mulder & Scully or Niles & Daphne or Booth & Bones? That is the one baton Supernatural dropped spectacularly that no one else even has the possibility of picking up again for the foreseeable future. (They don’t even write those types of romances for heterosexuals anymore!) 

Seriously. It was a TV unicorn. And rather than letting it run wild and free, they stabbed it with a rusty nail. 

***

Given the monumental shifts in the TV landscape that have occurred in the last decade, I don’t know that TV will ever go back to the slow-burn/will-they-won’t-they romance spanning 100-150 episodes. Today it is a miracle if you can get ANY show to last longer than 50 episodes in the first place. 

And that is the piece of this that makes it feel (to me) like they murdered a unicorn.  

Because queer people have gotten a lot of things from TV, and they will get a lot more as time goes on. But that one? That one could very well be a totally extinct species.

That is the larger missed opportunity here that has left this feeling especially hollow and destructive. That is the thing that makes me balk when people tell me to go watch Black Sails or Pose or whatever other prestige TV show is doing this representation ‘better.’ Because that’s not really the loss I am mourning here. I KNOW there is ‘better’ representation elsewhere.  

But the will-they-won’t-they/slow-burn romance is a qualitatively unique thing that queer people literally just never got. Ever. There is no substitute, no alternate, no other show I can turn to with that kind of build-up and pay-off for a queer couple, and there probably won’t be in my lifetime. Not unless the TV industry undergoes another monumental evolution similar to the streaming revolution that shifts the incentives back to telling those types of stories again. 

All those shows you want me to displace Supernatural with? None of them can give me the one thing I uniquely wanted (and could have gotten) from Supernatural. THAT ALTERNATE SHOW DOESN’T EXIST. It doesn’t exist. And I have no reason to hope it will ever exist in my lifetime. 

So stop telling me to look somewhere else; you don’t understand what made this one a unicorn. 

***

Addendum: The only other possible show that could perhaps fill this gap is It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (re: Mac/Dennis). But I’m hesitant to say it exactly meets that criteria, for a number of reasons:

1 - It’s far less serialized relative to Supernatural and (except for a handful of stand-alone episodes) very little of the story is grounded specifically in Dennis/Mac’s romantic dynamic (unlike SPN, where it is absolutely central to much of the narrative)

2 - IASIP is fundamentally satirically in nature/tone which makes it much harder to have genuine romantic pathos (not impossible, but harder) 

3 - All the characters on IASIP are fundamentally crummy people who you aren’t exactly supposed to root for. Which doesn’t mean a romance between two of them can’t have its value/charm/worth but it’s not the same as when it is between characters who unequivocally deserve nice things/happy endings

[cooloddball]

You've got awsome pics but do you also have favorite cockles comments/stories about each other that you want to share

That time Jensen told the story about Misha's reaction to Scoobynatural.

That time Jensen told the story about how he and Misha went to dinner and Misha ordered them the three least ordered things.

That time Jensen told the story of how and why they took the sunset photos #sunsetgate.

That time Jensen said if he were a cartoon he would be pepe le pew so he could spray Misha.

That time Jensen told the story about how he went to dinner with Misha and Dee in Chicago and the two [Misheel] ate extremely hot peppers and he just sat there looking at them as tears streamed down their faces and they tried to reach for water.

"I'm proud of you and I'm proud to call you my friend." Jensen commenting about the work Misha does with Random Acts.

"She may be my rock but I have some amazing pebbles in my life."

"Jensen's the horse"

They may have named you king but you will always be my princess"

"I love you Misha. Honestly, it's from the bottom of my heart that I say that."

Misha telling the story about how Jensen's face got scraped really badly after wrestling.

Jensen telling that story about how he and Misha were in his trailer running lines and they were wearing compression pants and how Misha was moaning as they ran lines.

Okay babe.

You guys are adorable.

Jensen is like my friend and protector.

"It feels like there's an angel watching over me. And I know that I'm okay."

Is that how they do the angel covid test?

come to Austin...we've got bats.

I always have so much fun with you.

Jensen in an apron? sign me up. Love you Ackles clan.

Jensen complimenting Misha about his ability to draft amazing texts and posts at jib 5.

Misha complimenting Jensen about his affinity for various accents.

Jensen telling the story of his first impression of Misha.

Jensen talking about Misha and the filming of 15x18.

Misha talking about the clothes sharing.

Misha telling the fart story and jensen helping him along when he forgot what happened next.

"I remember at some point misha had to strip down and get in the water because we were attached."

Jensen telling the story about he couldn't wait to tell Misha about the weiner dog story.

Jensen saying Misha is so cute he's like one of those little teddy bears you want to put in your pocket and take them home with you.

That time Misha was waiting for Jensen during jib4 and when Jensen came out he spanked Misha's ass so hard.

"But babe, you know what."

"Hey sweetbeart not cool."

"Aww, we love you Misha. Jensen Aces."

Keep your subtext to yourself sir.

Strong you are grasshopper.

She probably learned it from watching you eat soup.

No you are the man. I ❤ you, bro.

"You know what I haven't told you today? That i love you."

Basically everything Jensen said about 15x18 in regard to misha.

Jensen asking misha to give him a little accent show during honcon, 2017.

The comment jensen left under Alaina Huffman's Tweet about random Acts.

March 1st baby

Jensen calling Misha one of his best friends.

Strong you are grasshopper in regard to Misha reciting a Mary Oliver poem.

When Jensen pulled up a chair and poured Misha a drink after he [Jensen] pissed him [Misha] off at jib8.

When they went on a date and were spotted near Vancouver art museum.

When they went to Vatican for a private mass that Danneel had organized.

When Jensen apologized for giving Misha a hard time while filming.

When jensen got angry at Jared for pieing Misha too hard.

When Jensen was upset that misha left and his phone was low on charge so he borrowed a charger from fans so he could call Misha and got more upset when Misha didn't pick up because he was driving.

When Jensen stopped shooting of s7 because Misha was sick.

When Misha said that Jensen fixes stuff around the house when he goes over to misha's and that he [Jensen] makes a mean crêpe.

When West fell into Jensen's pool and both Misha and Jensen jumped in to save him.

"I like it when people include Misha"

Jensen calling Misha one of his best friends.

The fact that anyone who visited the set said that jensen and Misha were super close.

The fact that they lived together in Vancouver.

Misha drinking a lot of energy drinks the same time that Jensen was always going away to take "naps" during a con.

Jensen telling Misha he'd know what his farts sounded like.

Misha being the one who can get Jensen to do anything.

When they intertwined their pinkies during that facebook live.

[deangirlsstuff67]

First Con

Sequel to Birthday Boy

Written for @deansgirl79

Jensen Ackles x reader

Summary: Six months have come and gone for Jensen and y/n. While keeping it casual due to living in different places, they have managed to keep in touch and see one another often. Dallas Con is here and y/n has a couple surprises up her sleeve for Jensen.

Warning: Fluff, Unprotected sex, P in V, Anal play, Oral (m receiving), Fingering, Squirting, Edging

Authors note: I love Jensen and his family. I mean them no disrespect. This is set in set in a world where Jensen is single. This is a work of fiction for nothing more than entertainment.

Masterlist | Patreon

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Jensen's sitting in the green room at Dallas Con. It's been 6 months of having y/n in his life and it's been great. He's feeling as if he's a teenage boy again, his cellphone always attached to him these days. Jared and Misha never miss an opportunity to tease him about it either.

He's in a room with all his friends, but to Jesen his sitting on y/n couch, cuddling and talking for hours. It never seems to matter, they always have something to talking about.

Rob walks in with the band, "hey Jay, you guys ready? Kim and Brianna are wrapping up."

Jared comes over and wraps his arm around my shoulder, "I am, I just dont know if this old guy can pull his head out of his phone long enough." I glare up at the giant with the best bitch face I can muster.

"Shut the fuck up."

Rob and Jared leave me as they laugh at my 'lover boy' ways, as Misha calls me.

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Conventions in my home town are always the best. My parents are here laughing in the front row. Jared's parents beside them. I love watch them hanging out and enjoying themselves. We are about half way through our panel, the fans have been on point with their questions.

I'm not paying attention to Jared talking as he welcomes the next fan. My mind a million miles away. Which means I don't notice his shit eating gracing his face.

An angels voice pulls me out of my wandering thoughts. I whip my head around finding my beautiful y/n standing at the microphone with a knowing smile curving her kissable lips.

Damn I want, no need, those lips on me.

My cheeks heat as my jeans tighten at my wayward thoughts.

"Hi, I'm y/n."

"Hi, I'm Jared. This is Jensen." Jared points his thumb at me. "Sorry, Jensen is slightly distracted today."

"Oh, I can only imagine. " a sexy wink gets set my way from the y/h/c bombshell rendering me completely speechless.

Jared and y/n share a laugh at my expense. They have gotten to be good friends in these last 6 months. After they calm down from the giggles my shock and surprise envoked she asks her question.

"I was wondering if Jensen did anything interesting or fun for his birthday?" Her face glows with a mischievous sparkle and framed by her gorgeous y/h/c hair.

She's drop dead gorgeous. How the hell was I lucky enough to attract such a beautiful soul.

Heat floods my cheeks as the crowd goes wild. Smiling I look around before the crowd quieted down. My parents are beaming in the front row as they too recognize y/n's voice over the sound system.

We never talked about publicly announcing our relationship. In fact we haven't even labeled what we are to each other or where our relationship stands. There is half a chance I'm about have this either blow up in my face or it will lead to much more.

Here goes nothing.

"Well actually I had one of the most amazing birthdays this year, thanks for asking y/n"

In unison Jared and the fans scream, "what happened!?!"

Nervous laughter bubbles out of my throat as I discreetly glance to see what y/n is doing. To my shock she's waiting for my answer along with everyone else.

"You see what you did woman?" She doubles over in laughter. "Get that cute butt up here, they know now."

She makes her way on stage and into my waiting arms. Nestled between my legs I announce to thousands of people what this beauty has become to me.

"I met this wonderful woman out of pure luck on my birthday. For six months she has been showing me juat how incredible a relationship can be." She's staring at me with the most loving look I've ever witnessed. When out of nowhere she speaks into her microphone.

"Trust me ya'll, loving this man is the easiest thing I've done."

Love. She just said she loved me. Adoration makes a home through my body as I stare down at y/n. Love. She loves me.

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Having sex with someone you love is by far a thousand times better than just normal sex. I can never go back now. Emotions are stronger. The passion is indescribable. And the orgasms. Or the fucking orgasms... the are earth shattering.

The moment our autographs were complete I made a bee line for the elevator. My woman was waiting for me. Ever since her declaration of love on stage this afternoon I haven't been able to focus on anything but what she will feel like withering beneath me.

I was not disappointed. I showed up to find her laying in the middle of our bed, cherry red lace bra, panties, and matching garter belt. I approached her as a predator would his prey, she's mine and I was about to show her just how mine she truly was.

Two hours later and I've had her cumming all over my tongue, fingers, and coating my thighs. My cock is angry I'm making him wait to feel her velvet walls. The throbbing is almost unbearable at this point but I can't help it, I love making her cum.

"Jensen, baby I need you." Hearing her beg is music to my ears.

Lazily playing with her sweet, swollen center. Every once in a while dipping lower to play with her tight channel, "do you want me to stretch these soft walls darling?"

"God, yes."

"Need to feel me warm your insides with my thobbing member." She squirts a small amount on my fingers again, "want me to take away your pain and make you feel good?"

She doesn't answer, too fucked out to answer and I haven't even started to fuck her yet. I slid in-between her wet thighs. She's so wet I slip in her with ease.

And God she feels amazing. Soft, warm, and wet... so fucking wet.

Fast and hard. I snap my hips straight into her g spot. Teasing her also teased me. I'm so worked up it's not going to take me long to get us over the edge together.

One, two, three more thrusts and she's clamping down like a vice. Milking me for everything I have to give. I swell inside her before my hot release coats her inner walls.

I collapse on top of her sweat covered body. Breath labored. Head dizzy with lust. Heart full of love, I ease myself out of her well used pussy.

Coming down from my orgams high I can't stop thinking about y/n and the fact that she loves me. I went from giving up on the love scene, and was okay with the fact maybe no one out there was for me, to swimming I moments I never knew I need.

Whether it was a good morning text in the morning, random photos of her day, or a sexy dirty text mid day to tease me. I love them all. All it took was six months and this beautiful, incredible woman has became my best friend.

I love my best friend.

I stare at the sex drunk angel in my arms, proud it's me who can put that look on her face. That I'm the one who pulls all the moans and whimpers from her body.

Whimpering in her hair, "I love you too sweetheart. " I think she's sleeping before I begin to think out loud, "god, I'm going to marry you one day."

She stirs, eyes closed but her face is angled towards mine, she slowly flutters her lashes before saying, "good, but I think maybe we should move in together first." Her voice is barely above a whisper, "it's why I came. To annouce to the world how you make me feel. To tell you I'm all in. No more casual bullshit. Jensen Ross Ackles, you're all fucking mine."

With the statement hanging heavy between us, she makes her way down my body a kiss and nibble at a time. When she reaches my semi hard dick, without hesitation my angel turns into a sex demon and swallows me whole. My hips jerk, I'm a moaning mess at the feelings her lips and tongue are making my sensitive cock feel.

She's not wrong. I'm all fucking hers. And there's no where else I'd rather be.

[sara78]

Family don't end in blood - chapter 7

Summary: Things finally seem to look up for Y/N and she's looking forward to the little break from filming, she's closing in on the first semester and life is just good, but an unexpected appearance threatens to break down everything she's worked on the past months...

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x foster!daughter reader

Word count: very close to 5,000

Warnings: mentions of abuse, protective!Jensen, angst, so much angst, nightmares, Danneel is honestly the only sane person here

Transcription - Y/M/L - your mother language, Y/H/C - your home country

A/N: This is where things start to build up...

You were finally settling into the routine, the filming, school work, life in general. You finally found balance in your everyday life, and you can definitely thank Jensen for helping you with everything that came up along the way.

You were excitedly counting down the days until you get to go back to Austin and be there for the twins' birthday. You haven't been that excited about something in a long time.

But as of now, you, Jensen, Jared, and Misha are walking to get some lunch. Of course, Jared was being Jared and pulled yet another prank on Misha. And of course, taking in the fact how serious y'all are, Richard got sick and tired of y'alls bullshit and sent you to have some lunch and cool off before continuing with filming, for sake of his as much as yours.

"You are a monster!" Misha exclaimed, Jared laughing,

"I can't believe that what, 12 years later, you still fall for his stupid pranks," Jensen said, all three of you giggling as Misha groaned,

"I just might ask craft and supplies to buy me some popcorn for next time, cause you guys are my favorite movie to watch," you laughed, Jensen's phone ringing,

"Oh, it's Dee. Get me some steak and salad, kiddo. I'll catch up with you guys."

"I'm so gonna put something spicy in his meal," Jared giggled evily,

"Jared Tristan Padalecki woke up and chose violence," you said, Misha rolling his eyes,

"That's his default setting, kid," he stated, Jared nudging his arm playfully,

"Oh I love you too," Jared stated, taking his phone out, "I gotta check in with Gen. I'll take my meal when I make it. You keep a seat for me, kid," he said, ruffling your hair and drifting away as well,

"I'll just drop by and give Sarah my trench coat so that she can wash it up since this is not presentable anymore," Misha said, "Keep me a seat too! Preferably as far from Jared as possible," he called out from the distance, making you giggle as you showed him a thumbs-up, leaving to get some food.

While you were walking to the catering, you pulled your phone out to read over all the texts your friend, well, more sister, sent you. The time zones are kind of messing with your friendship but oh well, it's not like she's a night owl anyways, so you get to text very often. You caught up with all the texts from her and swapped to discord, where you had a group of close friends you'd study with whenever you needed company.

As you were walking you bumped into something, or someone. You immediately turned around after bumping into whatever it was, wanting to apologize for being a clumsy idiot if it was a person you bumped into.

But when you lifted your eyes up from the phone, you froze.

"Watch your steps, whore," a voice called you out, making you gulp. You swore you felt all will to live drained from your body and soul right there and now, as you stared at the person you'd never expect to see here. You were speechless, hands shaking as they put the phone back into your pocket. The person smiled at you evily, making your blood run cold, "Awww, what's the matter? Are you scared of your own mom?" you clenched your jaw, all the anger accumulating in you slowly but surely.

If she left from set without a bloody nose she should consider herself lucky. Everything was coming down but you still didn't know what to do. Do you attack, talk back, run away?

"Since when do you speak English? You don't even speak Y/M/L properly."

"I want to show you that everything is possible. Even me learning this filthy language," she began, "To prove you that you could have done exactly the same. You could have studied and become a scientist in Russia and-"

"Did you seriously travel for more than 30 hours just to tell me all of that shit over again?" you asked, huffing a laugh, "I can't believe this. You're still living in the past. I'm done," you pointed out, "I'm done being a puppet you control. I'm done being a punching bag you take all of your anger out on. I'm done being your daughter. I'm done being related to you. For all I know, I shouldn't be talking to a stranger."

"Drop the bullshit, bitch," she spat out,

"No, I'm not gonna drop it. I've had it up to here with you," you said, gesturing, "I'm done being manipulated and controlled, I'm done being beaten and hurt and called out. I don't deserve what you've done to me. You brought me into this world only to blame me for everything that has ever happened and to make me into this robot you control. I'm not supposed to be what you want me to be. I'm supposed to build my own future and make my own choices, whether right or wrong."

"I see you're still blind," she responded, "Me controlling you? How can you stay blind after all these years? I'm giving you a future!"

"A future?" you huffed, "This is my future. For the next few months, this is my future. My future is to finish high school, to make my own choices and be my own person. My future is to heal from everything you've fed me with. But then, you don't know of the term mental health, so you wouldn't know what I'm talking about."

"Stop being a bitch or I make you shut that filthy mouth of yours," she said, taking a step towards you, making you take a step back as you flinched,

"Yeah, that's how you deal with everything. Beat Y/N up. That's the only card you know how to play."

"You little blind bitch. I'm trying to secure your future, to make you successful!"

"And I can't do that by myself, in a branch I choose? I can't be a successful actress, or a video game designer, or a mathematician or a musician? It has to be medicine, biology, whatever the fuck the thing is on your mind? You are not doing anything but wanting to make me into this super famous person so you can show off to others how smart your daughter is. That same daughter you beat behind closed doors. Have you ever bragged about that? How gentle of a mother you are?"

"KIDDO!" Dean Winchester's voice in full swing echoed in the air and you felt a stone rolling off your heart as you saw him run towards you. He immediately grabbed you for your arm and pulled you aside. Though it was rough, it wasn't meant for hurting you, but for quickly moving you back behind him, where you were safe and out of reach for your mother,

"Oh great. The old fuck."

"Who the hell are you?" Jensen asked,

"Oh, you don't know!" your mother exclaimed, taking a step back. You grabbed at Jensen's flannel and pulled him three steps back with you. Jensen looked you in the eye and you must have had such a scared expression that he immediately dropped the attention on your mother and immediately turned to you,

"Kiddo, who is that?"

"My-my mother," you breathed, feeling your chest tighten up, "She's-she's my mother."

It took Jensen one swift motion to pick you up and settle you on his hip, same way Dean did to your character numerous of times before,

"You're safe. As long as my arms are around you, you're safe. I promise," he whispered.

You couldn't do much but lean your head against his shoulder as you tried to take deep breaths and not go into a panic attack,

"I want you to leave," Jensen spoke up, turning to face your mother, "You have no business being here. Go your own way."

"Oh, but she is my business," your mother spoke up. You shook your head and Jensen squeezed you tighter,

"Oh, look how gentle and soft you are with her. That's how you raise a whiny bastard. My methods haven't worked quite well, unfortunately, as she's still a whiny little bitch."

"Yeah, when you beat your daughter up with whatever comes to hand she craves for a soft touch, something that won't hurt her," he responded,

"What I was doing was raising a strong independent woman. Now, only thing I have left is to kick that bitchy attitude out of her and make her into a scientist so she can finally contribute to this family and be useful for once."

"Oh no, you're not coming near her," Jensen shook his head, "You aren't taking her anywhere."

"Oh sweetie, that's not your decision to make. Besides, I have no problem showing you a few moves I've used on her. I'm sure she'll obey after she revises them with me."

"No," you spoke up, Jensen still holding you tightly, "You're not going to hurt him."

"You be a grown-up and talk to your mother!" she exclaimed. You looked at Jensen, nodding. He gulped, letting you down but tightly holding you, your back pressing against his chest, "Now, about the parenting preferences. Don't you have three kids of your own? You should start using some belt on them if you want them to grow up strong and independent."

"Oh you don't tell me how to raise my children," Jensen growled, "I'm never going to hurt my kids. Whatever they do, I'd never hurt them."

"Oh, you're making a big mistake."

"Yeah, whatever makes you sleep better at night," he responded, "Children cannot in any way be responsible for whatever is happening in your life. Yes, they might break a glass, shatter a window, spill milk, crack their head open, but they are never doing things on purpose and when mistakes happen, you talk to them. You don't 'cure it' with a belt."

"Please, as far as I can tell, Y/N's grateful for my parenting preferences. Right?" you gulped,

"What's going on here?" Misha's voice rang, your mom groaning,

"You fuckers don't know what manners are, do you?" she asked, turning around to face Misha, "Don't interrupt a lady when she talks," Misha looked at her and Jensen was fast to drop on his knees and turn you to face him. You heard Misha talk back but all you were focused on was Jensen,

"Kiddo, hey, you're safe," he told you and you nod, "She's not gonna come near you. Did she hit you?" you shook your head, "You sure?" you nod, "Okay, that's good. How did she find you?"

"I-I don't know. I bumped into her when-when I was walking to-to get food," you stammered,

"Okay, we'll take care of it. Do you trust me?" you nod, "Good. Now, I'm here, and so is Mish, Jared will stumble up here as well. You're safe. We won't let her get you. Okay?" you nod again and he stood up, both returning to the pose you had before Misha showed up.

You could now tell Misha was in a heated argument with your mother.

"STOP!" Jensen exclaimed, Misha moving to stand right next to you. It seemed like he realized who she was and he took a protective pose in front of you as well.

"You know what, I should have hit you harder," your mother spoke, Misha gulping as he looked down to you for a second before looking back up,

"Yeah, mother of the year right here people!" he shot back,

"She's a sixteen year old child. She's got all the rights to be loved and to want a hug and to feel safe. Every single person, no matter their age, should be granted as much."

"She can't even do the right thing to save her life! That's where your gentle parenting bullshit leads. Now, I'm sure she's pretty useless here. Might as well hand it back to me."

"She's not an it," Jensen growled,

"Yeah!" Jared's voice rang and you turned around just in time for him to voluntarily pick you up and settle you on his hip, "She's our kid! So you might as well drop whatever plans you have with her because you'll have to walk over our dead bodies to get her."

"Wow," your mother huffed, "So despearate in need of a dad, you found three! But you never once cared about me, did you? I had to be alone for my entire life because of you! You drove your father away and I never got to be loved!"

"I was never responsible for anything that happened between you two," you yelled out, "Why didn't you abort me if he already didn't want me and you knew he was going to kick you out?"

"Well, I figured to make up for it by making you into a successful scientist and then we can go to him and-"

"So that is your brilliant plan? Rub it in? Do you understand that he has a wife and a daughter he loves. He doesn't care about you or me. And I'm sorry you went through that, but you had options and you chose to give birth to me. I had nothing to do with you and him. I was born and instead of being loved, I was all these years used as a puppet in your master plan of rubbing it in to him."

"What is it that you want?" Misha asked, obviously missing some context,

"Well, that idiot there is coming with me or she's going to suffer."

"I ain't letting her go," Jared spoke up, "So you might as well cross that off your to-do list and reschedule it for never."

"You've got a chance to fix all this," your mother warned you, "I won't beat you hard too."

"No," you spoke, "I'm happy where I'm standing right now and I'm not coming with you."

"Well, you had your choice. I can't wait to see you suffer," she responded, "The exact same way you made me suffer."

"She made you suffer? Because she wants to live her own life, make her own decisions? Or is it because she wants to be loved and cared for?"

"Don't you want what's best for your child?" she countered,

"We all do," Jared said, "But your definition of best seems to drift off from ours."

"We want our children to have a good life. But we don't dictate them," Jensen began, "We don't plan it all out for them. We let them be kids, let them play, learn, enjoy life, fuck up and slam against the wall and help them get back up. They are never going to have a plan they so blindly have to follow. What you wanted to do to Y/N, it's not fair. It's inhumane."

"Why won't you shut that ugly mouth of yours or I make you," she threatened, huffing, "No wonder you fit so well. Shit goes with more shit."

"You keep them out of your dirty mouth," you growled, "You wanna trash talk about me? Do it. Make the whole universe hear how bad of a daughter I am. But you don't dare talk about them like that. You don't know them."

"Oh, and you do? They'll just use you to get popular and then throw you out. That's when it'll hit you and you'll beg to come back," her mother began, "But I won't take you in then. You have one chance, and it's now."

"No."

Your mother gasped, fully not expecting the answer even though she's been given the same answer multiple times,

"W-What?"

"I said no," you repeated, "I told you I'm done. I'm not coming with you. This is where I stand, and I like it here. I'm done with you and your plans for me, for revenge on my father. It's over," you said, "We were getting lunch, guys," you spoke, the three nodding and walking away, brushing past your mother, but not without resistance. She jumped at you, presumably, but Jensen was in the way and had no problem grabbing her and pulling her away while Jared moved quickly, still holding you in his arms and Misha bolted, probably for security.

"You are not," he began, locking arms around her, her long nails scratching his skin, "Going to," he picked her up, "Come near my kid," he took a step back, "Ever again." he growled in her ear, dragging the two of them away, "You wanna make her suffer?" Jensen asked, letting her mother go and she immediately maintained a safe distance from him, "Huh? You wanna make a little kid suffer?" he repeated, your mother bolting to attack him again, long nails managing to get to his face before he grabbed her wrists, "Bad idea. Cause if you touch her, you have a lot of people breathing on your neck. And I am the first one," he said, going into her face. Only thing your mother could do is hysterically scream into Jensen's face until the security showed up and they dragged her away.

As soon as she's being dragged away, Jensen is running to you and Jared and you caught Misha with the corner of your eye. You couldn't be fooled, as all three had terrified expressions on their face,

"She's okay," Jared spoke up as soon as Jensen was within arms length. He took you from Jared's arms and hugged you tightly. You couldn't do much but return the hug and let both of you calm down from your high.

"How did she get through the security?" Misha spoke up,

"She-She probably paid her way in," you responded, going to hug Misha and then Jared, "I'm sorry for causing a scene."

"There's nothing to apologize for, munckhin," Jared shook his head as he squeezed you tightly, giving you one of his famous moose hugs,

"I scared you. All three of you," you responded, looking back at Jensen, "And she hurt you too."

"What's important is that she didn't hurt you," Jensen responded, smiling weakly for you, "Don't apologize. You didn't pick your mother."

"But still-"

"Don't," Misha shook his head, "We're all okay. And Jensen's right. What matters is that you're not hurt."

"What in the ever-loving fuck happened?!" Richard exclaimed as he walked up to you,

"My mother somehow managed to break through the security."

"She's fucking mental!" he exclaimed, "Are you guys okay?"

"More or less," Jensen responded,

"Oh man, get someone to clean that up," Rich frowned, "Listen, if she broke through the security that means we have a rat somewhere around."

"I'll fire the current security and ask Cliff to make me a list of most trusted ones," Jensen said, "I'll set it all up."

"But until that's set up, we're taking a break," Richard said, "I gotta look around people here too. I don't know who she might be working with. I'll need time."

"Guys, really, you don't have to-"

"All of our safety is compromised with that mental bitch loose. Yes, she'll be held for 72 hours or something, and yes we'll press charges, but whatever is the outcome, I have to go through all these people. I have to work with people I know are safe. I don't want insane parents breaking into the set and murders happening, and neither do Jensen and Danneel."

"But we'll fall back with filming," you pointed out,

"We'll be fine. Filming is postponed until February 1st. We have a few episode waiting for production. I order y'all to go home and take a break. You heard me kiddie?" you nod, looking down, not expecting Richard to come up and hug you, "Hey, I'm not mad at you. I can't be mad at you. She's the mental idiot, not you. I'm just glad you're safe."

"Thanks," you whispered, returning the hug,

"Don't thank me. Now go home, all of you."

The first thing Jensen did as he opened the door to his trailer was lead you to the couch and grab a bottle of water sitting on the counter, handing it to you. You took it quietly, your head bowing down.

"Kiddo," he whispered, crouching in front of you, "Kiddo, look at me," he tried but you shook your head.

How can I look at you? I put you in danger. I shouldn't be here.

"Kiddo, this isn't on you."

You gulped.

Of course he knew what's going on in your head. Of course he knew you'd be blaming yourself. And you still couldn't wrap your head around the fact that nobody is blaming you.

But then, they might be as well lying to you.

"We're going back to Austin," he stated and you shook your head,

"I'm not going."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not," you began, finally looking up, "She's going to be out in 72 hours. She's coming after me. Save yourself and go. I'll find a place here and keep quiet until we return to film."

"No," Jensen shook his head, "You're coming with me. You're way safer in Austin than here. Either we both go or we both stay."

"Jensen-"

"No," he said sternly, "I'm not leaving you here."

"Jensen, you heard her. Are you seriously willing to sacrifice the safety of your family just for one person?"

"Yes," he responded, taking you back with it, "Cliff is in Austin. I'll ask him to watch over our place."

"Jensen you don't know her and the lengths she's ready to go. Just let her have her way with me and she'll be gone when she's done."

"Not knowing how far she can go is the exact thing I'm scared of," he pointed out, "You're coming. We're gonna keep you safe, and we'll have fun and think of how to get rid of her, besides suing her."

"I don't want to sue her," you spoke up, Jensen now confused, "I just want her to go back to Y/H/C as soon as possible. Besides, she's most likely not going to show up at the court anyways."

"Okay, but Chaos Machine is suing her, so she'll have some problems up her ass," Jensen said, "Now, we'll go home and pack. We need time to figure things out and if nothing, I'll feel better if all my kids are within arms reach."

"And that's exactly what I meant when I said I don't want to come. I want you to be safe. I want them to be safe. Jensen, I can't afford to be close to you now."

"She can be the queen of England and I still wouldn't give a flying fuck. She's not going to hurt me, nor you nor anyone."

"Y-You can't promise me that, Jense."

"You're scared of her," Jensen sighed, "Which is completely okay. But you're forgetting something. That is, you have me. You have Jared, Misha, you have Dee and little ones back in Austin. We're not going to let her win, kiddo."

"She will win. I know she will. Jense, she has ways and mind twisted like no one else. How far she's ready to go to make someone suffer..."

"Well she isn't counting on you having us and she sure as hell doesn't know I'd go even further to protect you, so she can stick it up where the Sun shines," Jensen said, kissing your temple, "Let's just pack up and go home."

12 hours later

When you step out of the car you are greeted by Danneel's arms wrapping around you to give you a hug. Your brain is such a wreck that you don't even flinch. You just return the hug numbly, everything in your head just too much to handle. Jensen gets a hug as well and you follow the two to the living room where they sit you down.

"Honey, you're safe here. She's not going to come near you again," Danneel tried to assure you,

"I shouldn't be here," you whispered, "I should go to a motel or something. I'm putting you in danger. How can you not see?" you asked, looking up with tears in your eyes, "I don't want to put you in danger. I don't want to put the kids in danger. Why aren't you getting rid of me?"

"Because you're family," Danneel responded, "No matter what she does, we'll go through it together."

"I shouldn't have left you alone," Jensen murmured, totally out of the current conversation,

"No," you spoke up, standing up to go after him after he began walking up and down the room, grabbing his hand and stopping him to look at you, "You don't do that. You don't blame yourself. It's not your fault she's insane."

"It's neither of yours fault," Danneel corrected you as she approached you, "So stop blaming yourselves. She's her own person, she has her own brain with questionable thoughts in it and you cannot in any way make her do anything because she's calling the shots. Now you," she turned to Jensen, grabbing his other hand, "I know you'd probably wipe Y/N from her mother's memories if you'd had the chance to, but you can't. So don't blame yourself for something that you didn't see coming. You can't see into the future. And you," she turned to you, "You're just a child and you're not at fault for having a crazy mother. So don't eat yourself over what happened and don't think about what's to come either. Whatever happens has its own reasons why and we'll go through it together, like a family. Now, I think a nice, warm bath will help you relax. What do you think?" you nod,

"Thanks," you whispered, looking at Jensen who wore the famous 'Dean feels guilty for something he had no control over' face. You shook his hand and he looked down at you, "It's okay."

When you're done with your bath, Danneel was waiting for you with a cup of hot cocoa,

"Here's something to warm up a little before going to sleep."

"I can't sleep."

"I know. I think Jensen's right there with you," she responded, opening the door to their bedroom where Jensen was seated against the headboard, playing with the blanket over him, "How about you two have some alone time and in the morning you'll fill me up?" she said and Jensen nod, taking your hand in his and sitting you down next to him,

"Thanks honey," he whispered, Danneel smiling as she leaned down to kiss his lips,

"Don't thank me," she smiled, planting a kiss to your temple as well before walking away and closing the door behind her.

The two of you sat in pure silence. You didn't know what to say, what could you possibly say to make this whole situation better. You knew Jensen wasn't going to get rid of you, and as much as you appreciated it, part of you really wanted to go and keep him and his family safe.

And Jensen obviously had problems forming sentences since all he did was hug you tightly. And you'd lie if you said you didn't need it. Everything he did the past 24 hours, he and Jared and Misha. You didn't think a loving touch could make all the worst things hurt a little less.

You didn't even realize you were crying until Jensen shushed you gently, assuring you that it's okay to cry. You were so unaware of your own body, surroundings, everything. This all put you back to square one, at the bottom of the hill again. You didn't know how were you going to climb up to the top this time. You didn't think you had energy in you.

"That's what that feeling was," he murmured, "Like you felt her coming, but you didn't know it was her."

"I wish I knew," you responded, sniffling, "I-I wish I knew so I could have avoided her. I'm scared."

"I know, and that's completely okay. We'll keep you safe. She won't get you."

The very next thing you know is you're jumping awake from a nightmare, panting and sweating.

"Kiddo, you're safe," Jensen spoke up, making you whip your head around and gasp at the scars on his face, "You're safe."

"She-she hurt you," you breathed, "No."

"Kiddo, you gotta breathe," Jensen tried, getting ahold of your shoulders, "Look me in the eye and follow my breathing. In. Out."

After a few minutes you came down from your high, still staring at Jensen,

"What was it about?"

"She... She hurt you," you breathed, tears welling up in your eyes, "She-she hit you. Same way she hit me. And-and I was there but I-I couldn't do anything about it. I couldn't move, I couldn't do anything."

"Shit kiddo," Jensen breathed, "I'm safe. I'm okay. She didn't hurt me. It was just a bad dream. I promise I'm fine. Okay?" you nod, looking down, "Here, drink some water," he handed you the bottle and you gladly took it, downing the content in record time, "You need to take it easy these next few days, okay? No school or anything. You have to put yourself first."

"How do I do that?" you breathed,

"We'll do it together. We still have a few days before the twins birthday. We'll help Dee set it all up and we'll do a lot of movie nights and play and talk. Okay?" you nod, "I think the kids are up. Wanna go say hi to your favorite Ackles?" you smiled,

"Sure."

[jawritter]

Storm

Chapter 23

Summary: Raised in a cult, married at a young age, and divorced after catching your husband cheating on you with your neighbor, you decide to leave behind everything you know after you lose everything you love, and start over again. Who knew one little stop at a gas station would change everything?

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader

Chapter Warnings:  None  

Word Count: 1547

A/N: This fic is completely unbeta’d. It was at one time posted on Wattpad. In fact, it’s the first fic I’ve ever written. Which is why I wanted to correct and revisit it now that I’ve got more experience under my belt, and I’ve grown as a writer. Please do not copy my work! Feedback is golden! Hope you all enjoy this one!

My Masterlist     My Patreon      Series Masterlist

When Jensen said that the schedule was crazy he wasn’t lying. Unfortunately he wasn’t lying about the 5 AM wake up call either, which for the both of you seemed to have come all too early. Then it was the hustle of getting dressed, having room service bring up breakfast in time. The in and out of handlers bringing schedules and giving directions of what the day was going to look like. It seemed like as soon as you opened your eyes, it all started rolling, and there was no sign it was going to stop.

By the time you both staggered out of the room, and met Jared and Gen in the hallway, you felt like your head was spinning, and you just couldn’t understand how Jared and Jensen seemed to be keeping up as you were all four bustled down the narrow hallway towards the green room they had set up for the cast and their families.

“How ya holding up?” Gen asks as a handler jumped right up as soon as you came through the green room, ready to give the boys the instructions and things for the breakfast panel they were about to walk into.

“I don’t know, ask me when my head stops spinning,” you tell her, and she threw her head back and laughed.

“It gets better,” she promised, passing you a cup of much needed coffee. “You fall into a rhythm, and then it’s just rolling with it.”

You took a look around the room at the mostly familiar faces. All of them looked tired, but otherwise relaxed. Apparently Jensen, Jared, and Misha had missed the concert the night before, but it wasn’t a requirement that they attend that anyway, but the ones that did attend seemed extra drained.

This was the part you wished the fans could see. The sacrifice these people made so that they could enjoy one of these cons. It wasn’t easy money exactly, it was work.

“Okay, Jared, Jensen, we’re ready for you guys on the stage,” a young girl said from the corner of the room holding an ear piece as if someone was talking into it to her.

Jensen quickly leaned down and captured your lips in his. “You okay?” he asked as the group of you seemed to move in a collective whole towards the stage area they had set up.

“I’m fine,” you tell him. He had enough to worry about, he didn’t need to worry about you.

“It’s this thirty minute panel, then we go straight to Autographs, and then the first round of photo ops,” he informed you, “but we get a few brakes in between. It’s not that bad. You will see.”

You gave him what you thought was your best reassuring smile, and Gen grabbed your wrist as the group started to break off. “Come on, we’re going to watch from the side over here,” she said, leading you to a group of chairs they had sat along the wall at the far side of the stage where most people could not see you.

“There’s only one day of this one,” Gen said as you both took your seats and the crowd erupted and Jared and Jensen took the stage, both now with a coffee in their hand. “Then we can fly back to Austin for a little while and just enjoy our boys not having to work.”

“You know, I don’t think Jensen and I have had a ‘normal’ time off where it’s just the two of us and no drama,” you told her, and she burst into laughter and Jensen and Jared started to heckle each other over Jared’s unreal dedication to winter head gear.

“Oh, I didn’t say there would be any drama,” she said, her eyes training to the stage as the questions started to flow. “Jensen and Jared tend to create that for themselves with no one else in the room.”

“You’re not wrong,” you tell her. “Have you ever watched Jensen try to fry an egg without burning his hand at least once?

The rest of the day passed without a hitch. The panels were by far your favorite thing to watch. It was fun to see Jensen and Jared interact with their fans and answer their questions. You had never really seen them interact with fans on this level before. Normally, it was just a quick, “omg I love you can I get a picture with you?” In this whole atmosphere they were in some sort of constant interaction with fans in one instance or another.

You were even able to see it up close when you were sitting next to him while he was signing autographs. He was so attentive, and he cared so much about his fans, it was sweet to see how much they meant to him. You could see at that point, why he still did this. These people, these virtual strangers. They were a part of them more than you could understand before. They really were a family.

More than that, everyone you seemed to interact with welcomed you. None of them had any angry or mean things to say to you like you feared, even though they were curious. That alone was a relief.

By the time the last panel of the day came to a close, you were all more than a little exhausted, but that didn’t stop you from gathering up with the cast and crew for one more dinner together before everyone broke for hiatus, and no one would see each other for a few weeks, save Jensen and Jared.

The laughter and jokes that spread around the table as drinks and food were passed around, look honestly like something you saw in a sitcom. It wasn’t something you had ever seen before. Happiness, friendship, laughter, they were all still so foreign in a lot of ways, and yet familiar. This is what you would have pictured a real, happy, family to look like. Not some headship and leadership that held dominion over the table while the family ate with sad faces and stoned silence as if in fear to utter even a word. You could see more than ever now, just how wrong that your life had been led, and just how thankful you were to be away from it.

“So,” Kim asked, tossing a bread roll back down onto her plate and taking a generous swig from her wine glass. “What are you two crazy kids going to do now aside from planning a wedding?”

“Sleep for about six days solid,” Jensen interjected, “or at least that’s my plan as soon as I get back to Austin.”

“Honestly, that doesn’t sound like a bad plan,” Jared agreed, yawning widely as he looked at his watch. “Good God it’s only 9 PM! When did we die man.”

“Think I was about 36,” Jensen said, talking around a mouth full of food and earning a giggle from half of the table.

“No seriously,” Kim said, looking at the two of you sternly. “What are your plans? You gonna have kids? Are you going to stay in Austin? What does the future look like goal wise right now for you?”

You froze mid chew, and Jensen choked on his drink as the whole table looked at the two of you, hanging on the edge of their seats waiting for your answers.

“Uh...I uh…” Jensen stuttered, but thankfully you had the presents of mind to start talking, because he looked like he was about to absolutely panic.

“Honestly, we haven’t talked about any kids, and I assume we’re going to stay in Austin unless Jensen knows something I don’t. We’re honestly just taking things one day at a time,” you answer, and everyone returns to normal chatter. Everyone except Jensen, who was suddenly very interested in his meal and had become very quiet.

“Well there’s no rush,” Kim assured you. “Take things as slow as you need too.”

Your eyes drifted to Jensen, who was still staring as the food he was shoving around his plate with a fork, refusing to meet your gaze, and you wondered if you said something wrong, or if he was just tired and ready to go back to the hotel room, but you weren’t going to probe it out of him. If he wanted to tell you, then he’d tell you.

“Come on honey,” Jensen said suddenly, standing up from the table and grabbing your hand in his. “I’m ready to crash, we got an early flight home tomorrow.”

You barely had time to tell everyone goodbye before Jensen was pulling you from the restaurant, and when you were finally out of the establishment, you turned to Jensen as you both walked down the street towards the hotel room.

“Is everything okay? Did I say something wrong back there that made you want to leave early?” you asked him, and he looked down at you with a soft gaze that momentarily made you forget what it was you were worrying over. He was good at that.

“No, everything’s fine. I’m fine. Just tired.”

You hoped to God that was the truth, but you couldn’t help but feel like Jensen was hiding something from you.

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