#command hallucinations

[yourironlung]

harrow's haunts

[izzieedraws]

guys i‘m going through it please give me some codywan fic recommendations i beg

[lemodoe]

anyways. he called her renée....

[awkward-tension-art]

Ruins of a Republic Chp.3 (Rex x Reader)

Chapter 2. Chapter 4.

Spiral

Warnings: Depression, grief, hallucinations that continue to get worse, talk of a former injury, reader is medic/doctor, reader insert, death, PTSD, trauma, panic attack, swearing, reader is genuinely in an unsafe headspace, Potential Self-Harm, Gender-neutral reader, no use of (Y/N), Reader's mental state is getting worse, Reader x Rex, ANGST

Extra: Glitch text added to visually show hallucinations. If there is an accessibility issue, I will DM the full chapter without the glitch text if asked!

Once the funeral was over, you returned to Coruscant as quickly as possible. Not even a day in Naboo and you had to return to work. Thankfully, Senator Organa gave you and Senator Chuchi, among a few others, a ride.

You kept your hands in your lap on the ship, eyes forward. Despite having a small private room to yourself for the duration of the hyperspace trip, about 8 days, you didn’t move much from your seat. 

Ahoska was sitting across from you. The spunky togruta was tapping her foot, impatiently.

“When are we̷ ̴g̷o̴i̴n̸g̸ ̷t̶o̷ ̸g̶e̷t̶ ̸t̵here?” She huffed.

“It's a few days.” You responded aloud.

She groaned, sinking into her seat, “I̶t̸ ̷w̸a̶s̷ ̶o̸n̶ly hours to get to Na̵b̶o̶o̸.̵ ̸Why is it tak̷i̵n̵g̵ ̸days to ge̶t̷ ̴b̴a̵c̷k̶ ̸h̷o̴m̷e̸?”

You didn’t look away from her before answering, “I was asleep a majority of the trip to Theed.”

Ahsoka put her face on her fist and leaned forward, “No you weren’t̵.̷ ̴Y̸o̴u̶ ̴w̸e̷r̶e̶ ̴j̴u̷s̶t̶ in bed sta̴r̵i̴n̴g̶ ̴a̷t̴ ̸t̷h̵e̵ ̸c̴e̵iling.” She corrected you. 

“I know.” 

“You kn̷o̵w̸,̷ ̵I̶ ̷c̷a̷n̵ ̵ ̷t̵e̴a̴c̶h̵ you how to meditate. It helps c̶a̵l̴m̷ ̸the mind.” She suggested. 

If I was calm, would you disappear?

Would Rex? He wasn’t present at the moment, but you cherished the sight of him. Hallucination or not. You could hear his voice and sometimes feel his hand on you. As if he truly was by your side again.

You couldn't let that go. Not yet. 

 You closed your eyes and shook your head, “No.”

“̵S̷u̵i̵t̵ ̴y̷o̵u̸r̴s̶e̷l̸f̵.̸”̸ ̶

When you opened your eyes again, she was gone. There was nothing but silence and crippling loneliness. 

The feeling of hyperspace, the hum of a ship's engine, it used to bring you comfort. Bring you a sense of security. It would be a quiet time during the war. Which let you bond and relax with your fellow soldiers. To help them in the medical bay.

But now? All of this reminded you of loss.

Of something you would never get back. 

You’d need to tell your family, at some point. Tell them that you gave your heart to a clone. That he was gone now and you were broken beyond repair.

Rex never did meet your parents. He never met your former friends and coworkers in the hospital on Coruscant. 

Foolishly, you wanted to wait until the war was over. When the Clone Troopers had the freedom to live. Pursue their wants and desires. 

Oh how stupid you were. How naive. 

“Yo̴u̶’̷r̷e̶ ̵n̷o̶t̵ stupid,” Fives chimed from where he was sitting on the bed with Hardcase, “You’re smart! Har̴d̵w̸o̴r̴king! The b̷e̴s̸t̵ ̷d̸o̴c̶t̶o̸r̷ ̵t̴h̴e̴ ̸5̷0̶1̶st could ever ask for!” the trooper next to him nodded. 

His words caused tears in your eyes. Your throat tightened and you let out a shaky sob. As you cried, Hardcase snapped.

“G̵o̵o̸d̵ ̶j̷o̶b̶,̶ ̶di'kut!” He chastised the ARC trooper, “Y̶o̴u̶ ̸m̸a̷d̶e̴ Doc cry!” 

“̸I̷ ̶d̷i̸d̶n̴’̶t̷ ̸m̸e̷a̷n̶ ̶t̸o̶!̶”

Between your struggling breaths, you managed to plead, “I miss you! Please…please come back!” Uselessly, you lunged, as if trying to grab them into a hug. However, your body bounced off the bed, leaving you kneeling on the floor. “I’m sorry I couldn’t save you. Please! Just come back!”

Everything inside of you hurt. Your heart. Your lungs. Your very cells pulsed with pain. 

You couldn’t breathe. Your hyperventilating was causing you to be lightheaded. 

“H̵̜̃a̵͙̓ȃ̵̹l̴̖̔u̷̘̎r̵̩͛,̷̱͊ ̴̥͛n̵̻̽e̶̼̿r̶̰̃ ̸̞̿ḱ̷͕a̴̢̋r̵͉̉'̷̲̇t̷̙̀a̶͚̍.” Rex was kneeling next to you, strong arms wrapped around your trembling body, “J̶u̸s̴t̶ ̴a̵s̸ ̴y̵o̴u̶’̵v̸e̵ ̷s̴h̸o̴w̸n̴ ̶t̵h̵e̷ ̸m̵e̴n̵…̷b̷r̶e̵a̷t̸h̵e̶.̶”̵

Your love held you as you cried yourself to sleep on the floor. The metal was cold, and it hurt your arm, but you had no strength to get up. Every part of your body screamed at you in grief. Your very blood was filled with mourning. 

Rex was on his side next to you, one gloved hand on your cheek, “N̵i̴ ̸k̶a̴r̵'̸t̵a̴y̵l̴ ̷g̸a̵r̴ ̴d̷a̶r̵a̷s̵u̸u̸m̷.” He whispered to you softly. 

“Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum sa pirusti,” you responded, throat hoarse. 

You weren’t sure how long you stayed like that, looking at his handsome face. Truthfully, it felt like you blinked and the ship landed on Coruscant. It took everything in your body to find the strength to get up. 

As soon as you did, the lightheadedness hit you.

Have you eaten? When was the last time you drank water?

Time was melting away. Just like your grip on reality. 

"̴y̶o̴u̷ ̶n̵e̶e̸d̵ ̶t̴o̸ ̶t̴a̶k̸e̶ ̸c̵a̸r̵e̸ ̶o̵f̵ ̷y̷o̷u̶r̷s̵e̸l̷f̶,̴ ̴k̴a̵r̷'̴t̵a̶.̷"̶ Rex chastised you tenderly. 

“I can’t…not without you.” You mumbled, keeping your gaze downward as you gathered your travel items, “It’s hard...” 

"̷I̴ ̵k̸n̶o̵w̴,̸ ̶l̵o̸v̶e̶.̸"̷ he sat on the bed and waited as you got your things together, "̵B̷u̵t̴ ̴y̷o̸u̵ ̶n̵e̴e̴d̶ ̵t̶o̷.̴ ̴f̸o̷r̶ ̴t̴h̵e̴ ̵m̶e̵n̴.̸"̷

“The men are gone, Rex!” You snapped at him, whirling around to meet his eyes. Instead, you were met with silence and an empty room. Realization slammed into you like a speeder. Your knees hit the ground and you began to cry again. 

Every emotion your broken brain could muster was out of your control.

Rage, depression, agony, grief…It was all too much for you to handle.

Nothing made sense to you anymore!

You punched the ground with your bad arm, snapping something in your brace. The next noise that ripped itself from your throat was in pain. Without thinking, you ripped the medical device off, revealing your muscle and nerves to the air. 

The burn was agonizing, but it was the only sensation you’ve properly felt since the war ended. 

Your ears were ringing too loudly for you to realize the door opened. 

Someone called your name, but it sounded distant. Fuzzy and unfocused. Slowly, you turned your head, unfocused gaze landing on Senator Chuchi. 

Her lovely orange eyes were wide and she covered her mouth with her hands. After her shock had passed, she dashed to your side, Through the haze and fog of your breakdown, you recognized your name leaving her lips. 

It took her shaking your shoulders before you could properly hear her, “What happened!?” She was focused on your exploded arm. 

Swallowing was hard, but you managed to do so in order to speak, “My brace…” You mumbled, “It broke.”

She flinched, “It…looks painful.” 

“Happened on Umbara…”

“I…see…”

She would know the official report on that planet. Krell’s betrayal was used to add fuel to the, at the time, rising anti-Jedi sentiment. You remembered the Senate arguing for days at whether the Jedi needed to pay for such a chaotic, messy and traumatizing situation.

You sighed and looked away from her, “I’m sorry to have worried you, Senator.”

The pantoran frowned at your words, “What….what are you planning to do now?”

“Go home.” You answered flatly. 

There was clear hesitation from Riyo. She seemed unsure at your words, “Maybe you should go to a hospital…” 

Right…

Slowly, you processed her words. Yea, your arm was in pure agony, but you didn’t want to speak to anyone else. You didn’t want to answer questions about your mental state. 

‘How did this happen?’

‘Why did you do this to yourself?’

The only person you’d trust was Kix. Or maybe even Fives’ significant other. 

But both of them were gone. Dead. 

“I’ll go to the medical bay in the military base.” You mumbled, finding a middle ground. Clone Troopers didn’t ask questions. Not the same way nat-born doctors did. 

That seemed to make Senatore Chuchi happy, “Good. Now come on, let’s get you up and out of here.” Her hands were around your good arm as she stood, helping you to your feet, “I’ll have your things dropped off at your home.”

Home?

What was home without those you loved?

You didn’t have the motivation to ask how she knew where you lived.

‘Not like it mattered.’ you thought to yourself.

When you stepped off the ship, Cody was there to meet you. The moment his eyes landed on your disheveled form, concern washed over his face. He opened his mouth to speak, but you cut him off. 

“My brace broke.” 

“D̶o̸c̷t̸o̸r̴!̶ ̵Y̷o̷u̴ ̶n̵e̶e̴d̷ ̷t̸o̵ ̷b̶e̵ ̶m̸o̵r̵e̸ ̵c̶a̷r̸e̶f̵u̸l̸.̷” Anakin was beside Cody, looking just as worried, “G̷e̵t̷ ̴t̶o̶ ̸t̶h̶e̷ ̵m̷e̵d̶i̴c̸a̵l̷ ̴b̸a̴y̵.̷ ̷L̷e̵t̴ ̸s̸o̷m̶e̷o̵n̵e̷ ̴h̶e̵l̶p̶ ̵y̷o̸u̴.̶”̵ 

Get out of my head.

You were placed in the hands of the commander. Once someone else was watching over you, Senator Chuchi felt relieved enough to leave you alone. As you and Cody walked back to the Republic Military-...The Imperial HQ, she called out to you, “I hope we speak again soon, Doctor!”

“Any news?” you asked your clone trooper friend. One quick glance at him and you could tell things had changed. His armor, normally painted with a sunburst yellow color, had been muted. Instead, he adorned a dull grey color. 

He nodded, brown eyes forward, “You need a chain code.” 

“The fuck is a chain code?” 

“Every citizen of the Empire is being given a number.” He answered with a sigh, “Once we get you patched up, you can go to a kiosk and get one.” 

You snorted, lightheaded again as a wave of pain washed over your body, “Ironic. Being given a number after spending so long with a name.” As you and him made your way to the Imperial HQ, the lack of color was…startling.

Even Coruscant seemed so much duller and monotoned…

Maybe it was you. The grief was turning your eyes. The losses of those you loved…

Without Rex…

There wasn’t any color in your life.

[soapiesarts]

I followed her him through the tunnels streets as I force him back to the rendezvous point where Commander Tano will be waiting to take him into custody, through the bustling streets I catch a glimpse of Mauls long red braids? I turn the corner to see him laughing with night sister woman child-? Ventress! I spin back around the corner pressing my back into the wall as someone shoves past me.

When did I get back to the surface, where is my squad, commander Tano? My arm is brought up to run through my hair. Hair? There’s a short tuft of hair covering my head spikey from regrowth, looking at my arm there’s no armor-? What? What’s happening-?

Maul! He must be doing this! I poke my head around the corner and he’s no longer there neither is ventress. A hand grabs my shoulder pulling me back slamming me into the wall. The back of my head cracks against the hard surface vision tunneling all I can see is a pale yellow as I will my vision to clear his black markings and sharp horns his sharp teeth bared arm pressed into my neck shaking as I struggle against his grip I can see ventress over his shoulder snickering.

No no no NO.

This isn’t happening again- why can’t he just kill me put me out of my misery I don’t want to be apart of his sick game anymore please

Please

‘Buir?’

He she croaks tears threatening at her eyes.

It’s a child

Her covered by Scarlett bangs and long twin braids that reach her knees

It’s a child

About Ashoka’s age when he had first met her maybe younger- oh how he missed his vod’ika

It’s a child

‘No’ she whispers her resolve cracking grip loosening on his throat ‘your not him’

Oh and how heartbroken she sounds, a questioning squeak sounds from behind her a small dathomirian girl a clones helmet propped on her white hair like a hat when their eyes meet she slips the bucket on protecting her like a safety blanket.

Their children,

The redhead is shaking furiously her grip easily broken I gently grab her hands.

Breathe ad’ika breathe it’s ok, I’m here, I’m not your Buir but I’ll see what I can do to help you kid. Promise. My gaze darts between her and her sister? Daughter? Maybe?

That seems to snap her back to reality a snarl rips across her face sharp teeth barred.

‘Don’t look at her! Stay away from her traitor, don’t you ever even think about her! Or me I know what you did! Stay away from us!’

Her voice cracks and tears spill down her cheeks, I reach to comfort her not thinking, hugs ahsoka loved hugs when she was sad-

Oh,

A sharp pain pierces through my abdomen looking down I see a vibroblade jammed in my stomach the girl yanks it out just as fast looking at her as I slide down the wall she backs away scared, I try to reach out reassure her that everything is ok but the words die in my throat and before I know it she’s zipping away a tight grip on the small child’s hand.

They blur in the distance, wow… they must be … really … fast soon all I can she is their retreating form as I slide onto my side.

…

Boots come into my field of vision

I make an aborted move to swat them away

Have to … make sure ahsoka got away safe

My vision fills with black as the figure squats down infront of me.

[muyru-iru]

passing by

post- Order 66 and Fox death

CT- 1266, named Pointer, comes across his dead commander who reminds him of something important.

[dasodasploder]

ermmm i haven’t doodled in a whileee

[riderofblackdragons]

What Would I Give Just To See You Again

Day 4: Hallucinations | hypnosis | sensory deprivation | "you're still alive in my head"

Ok so this is posting later than planned, because instead of writing this yesterday I just completely sprialled :)) And it feels kinda rambling to me, but I hope it's enjoyable and shit anyways!

This is the first fic in a new AU I've created, called the Commander to Firelord Pipeline, which is a star wars x avatar: the last airbender crossover

Hope you enjoy!

Azula had always known she was… different, to other people. It wasn't just her incredible firebending prowess either, regardless of what her father and firebending teachers said. There was something off with her, something in her mind that had always set the princess apart. Something wrong.

It was why her mother had always scolded her when she played with Zuko, even though she hadn't hurt him that bad. Just enough that he'd heal, and know how to be better. Know how to survive that kind of thing, when he encountered it from someone who actually wanted him dead. It made Lady Ursa look fearful at her daughter's friends, too, wondering how they could stand to be around someone so heartless.

She didn't see past the violence to the shattered, broken girl lying underneath, who didn't know what she'd done wrong. Especially not since her father had told her she'd done well afterwards.

It was the first sign that Prince Ozai was like Azula.

Or, well, not quite like her. Prince Ozai had never seemed to care for anyone else, even his wife or children, whereas Princess Azula had very blatantly claimed people to care about and keep as "hers". Not many realised, but Prince Zuko was included in that category of protection, despite all the ways Azula caused injury. Injuries made you stronger, made sure that he'd learn to be better.

Azula may not have been good at showing it, but she did care. Her father wasn't even capable of that much.

On her good days, many agreed, Princess Azula was a delight. A perfect child, who took after her father in her firebending and her mother in her grace, and was outshone by no one. A few quirks, perhaps, like how easily she'd learned the political nature of the court, but nothing wrong with her.

Personally, Azula had always considered the title of princess to be stupid, but it still meant something. Just as her reputation was stupid, and false, but something she needed to keep up. She may have been fifth in line, but Azula knew the power of a title, and fifth could become first very fast, if a few people died.

Besides, there were no other princess in the world aside from Azula. Her mother wasn't even considered a princess, no matter that she'd married a prince. There were rumours of a princess in the northern water tribe, but the tribes were split, and thus the title meant nothing compared to Azula's.

And even from a young age, Azula had always known how important power was. Firelord meant no one could ever harm what was hers ever again, not even her father.

"Ty Lee," she told her minion friend subordinate. "Tell Thorn that he's on Senate duty for the next month if he doesn't show his face to me in the next fives minutes,"

Ty Lee didn't respond, but that was okay. It was an overkill punishment anyways. No one deserved to be stuck with that for a full month. Not even Thorn, even though he'd messed with Azula's things! Still, the threat worked. Azula caught her second in command slinking out from wherever he'd been hiding to face her head on barely a minute later.

"Seems you don't need to after all, Ty Lee," Azula smirked at Thorn.

He laughed, becuase of course he did. Thorn was always one to laugh in the face of danger. Still, the sound was bright, and improved Azula's mood entirely just to hear it. It was a rare enough sound coming from any of them, let alone Thorn or Azula herself, that any occurance immediately meant the day would be a good one.

The Guard had so little to laugh about, after all.

But that wasn't right, was it? Azula was a Princess, not some lowly commander. She didn't have a second in command, wasn't involved in the military enough to need one. She was the Princess of the Fire Nation, far higher than any military commander, even a Marshall Commander.

And she knew this. She knew she did. She'd known that she was Princess Azula and Marshall Commander Fox for years now. Fox may have been dead, as was all the people he'd ever encountered, but Azula still carried him and his memories within her, as a part of herself.

She remembered brothers, millions of them, not just Zuko . Ones who'd all shared her face, had had to get tattoos or adjust their facial hair just to look different from each other. She remembered skirmishes, fighting gangs on the lower levels of her planet - and a war, one that spanned a galazy, not just this pitiful thing her family was waging against the Earth Kingdom.

She remembered fighting for her rights, for her life, and the way she'd lost each and every one of her brothers. The harsh battle, of learning politics, how to tell who was safe and who wasn't based on a single conversation; how to read between the lines to find out the true meaning.

The things she'd carried with her in this life, the change from Senate politics to court politics barely different enough to be commented on.

Like the way she'd found trustworthy people to surround herself with, ones who saw how violent she was and understood that it was the only way she knew to protect them now, to make them stronger so no one could ever hurt them. So Azula didn't have to watch her loved ones fall, or to hear about it weeks after it'd happened because she couldn't go with them.

People who knew who she was, and loved her anyways. Who wouldn't betray her for anything, like she'd once thought her brothers would have (a dead clone and they were gone, turning their backs like they didn't know just how tight this corner was that she was backed into. As though they hadn't once sworn to never abandon each other).

If she closed her eyes, Azula could almost imagine she saw her brothers, still with her. On her bad days, they were there, mocking her, misting the lines between this life and last. Showing her the deceased, like they still loved her, like she wasn't a monster for all she'd done.

She could see Stone, rolling his eyes at her, like they were filing paperwork for stupid things again. She saw Thire, gushing about his Jedi again, running out the door to go visit the Jedi younglings, because he liked being around the children.

Azula even saw Thorn, stealing her caf and her paperwork, forcing her to suffer his presence and ignoring her false complaints and empty threats.

They would have liked her girls, she knew. It was part of what made it so difficult, on the bad days. She could see Ty Lee and Thorn, Zuko and Thire, Mai and Stone, and it would seem as real as the flames she could push from her hands.

She doesn't tell them that. Doesn't let it on, but she thinks they know anyways. Its the way Mai hesitates, on Azula's bad days, with her sharp wit, letting Stone take the lead, even though she doesn't know he's there. The way Ty Lee will do more acrobatics, bubbly laughter bursting out until its all Azula can hear, to take her from her deceased.

Zuko doesn't do anything, really, but Azula wouldn't want him to. It's enough that she can watch him bending, little puffs of flame coming out, or the candle matching his breathing during meditation. He's weaker than her, but it doesn't matter on Azula's bad days.

If they could've bent, maybe more of the Guard would've been able to survive.

On her good days, she remembers they're dead. She thinks that maybe they should be called her bad days, instead. It certainly feels that way.

Some nights, Azula still hears the snap of her neck. She can still feel the crunching of the bones, see the sudden darkness that death had brought, if temporarily. It drowns her, echoing over and over, snap-crunch-nothing, until she wakes up, and the only thing she can do is burn it all down.

Her mother scolds her most, on those days. Her father grows prouder with every meltdown, every person she hurts, every room she destroys whilst she's still trapped in her memories.

Azula despises it. She feels like Vader, like the Senators that had hurt her and her men, over and over and over. She hates the power she has then, the way hurting others reaffirms her control over herself. It makes her feel stronger, and she hates that most of all.

Tag List: @captain-effy @what-the-fuckis-happening

If anyone wants to be added lmk!

[the-valiant-valkyrie]

Charles Bonnet syndrome refers to the visual hallucinations caused by the brain’s adjustment to significant vision loss

[zapsoda]

best girl compilation

[whump-me-all-night-long]

The Kind Commander

AI-less Whumptober Day 3: Isolation

Masterlist

TWs: military whump, multiple whumpees, isolation, sensory deprivation, noncon drugging, hallucinations

---

Not long after Captain Hawk left Lex and Isaac, some more Skoaxian soldiers came in, roughly undoing the chains from their ankles and yanking them to their feet.

Lex grunted softly as Isaac yanked against one of his soldiers. “Do I look like I’m in any shape to run right now?” he snapped and Lex winced. All that got Isaac was a cuff on his head and an even tighter grip on his arms.

Lex kept his mouth closed as they were harshly led out of the tent and into what appeared to be the heart of Camp Ironglass. 

People were bustling all around them, not just soldiers, but cooks and butchers, carpenters and smiths, washerwomen and seamstresses. Lex thought he could even hear the distant, cheerful screams of children from across the camp. As the soldiers led them through the camp, Lex noticed people stopping to stare at them. He saw faces twist into frowns and bodies stiffen; for a reason he couldn’t quite explain, his face suddenly felt hot and he hung his head, letting his hair fall across his gaze.

How many? Lex wondered silently. How many people here knew people that I have killed? Are their mothers or fathers, sisters or brothers, lovers, friends, children, even? Are they here?

Before Lex’s mind could wander too far down that dark hole, the guards were leading them towards a small building on the outskirts of the semi-permanent camp. As he laid eyes on it, Lex’s legs involuntarily locked up, causing one of the soldiers to stumble and glare at him.

“No,” Lex muttered under his breath.

“Oh, yes,” the soldier he’d tripped replied with a smirk before tugging him forward.

The Skoaxians were infamous for their ruthless warcraft strategies, and one of the most well-known were their isolation chambers. Lex shuddered as he remembered the blank eyes of one survivor of the chambers when he was still a fresh recruit. Those empty eyes had haunted his nightmares for weeks afterwards.

A few feet away, Isaac was also starting to struggle against his own guards, and it was only then that Lex noticed how deserted this part of the camp was.

Growing resigned to his fate, Lex let the soldiers drag him forward, down an incredibly short hallway before putting him in one chamber and Isaac in the one across from him. 

The whole building was incredibly damp, with an unnatural breeze sending shivers down Lex’s spine. The only light was filtered thinly from the outer door, and, once the cell door—a solid metal thing, with only a tiny slot that could be locked from the outside—there was no light at all. Lex couldn’t even see his own hand from a few inches away from his eyes.

Carefully stretching out his arms, Lex repeated Bray’s words of wisdom quietly: Know your surroundings. Based on what he could feel, the isolation chamber was really only about five feet by five feet; the entirety of the walls were made of the same thick, impenetrable metal as the door, muffling all sound except for the barest hint of a whisper-like sound every now and then. There was absolutely nothing inside, except for a small metal bucket, which Lex flushed at the thought of. 

Slowly settling his back against one of the far corners, he kept an eye on the door- or, at least, where he thought the door was. Honestly, the chambers were made so skillfully that he couldn’t even really tell where the door and wall met, that’s how seamless they were.

Wrapping his arms around himself, Lex set to staring into the darkness, quickly losing hope that he’d be able to withstand the isolation and sensory deprivation.

-

It could have been a matter of minutes or hours, but soon enough, Lex started seeing things.

The darkness started playing tricks on him, making him see movement out of the corner of his eyes. He would whip his head around, trying to follow it, only for it to disappear seconds later.

Soon after, it was his ears that betrayed him. He couldn’t tell if he was actually hearing voices, or if the voice in his head had grown deafeningly loud. 

Lex let out a soft groan, squeezing his eyes shut—no, that didn’t stop the phantom movements—and pressing his hands over his ears to the point of pain.

How long can I do this?

-

At some point, food appeared in the slot. All it was was a stale chunk of bread and a small cup of lukewarm water. 

As much as Lex’s sandpaper-like throat begged him to drink the whole thing, Lex made himself take only a few small sips before attempting to eat the bread.

Who knows how long they’ll go in between giving me more water? The last thing I need is to die of dehydration.

After eating what he estimated to be about half the bread, Lex set it to the side with a sigh, allowing himself another small sip, noting how the water tasted vaguely metallic.

Eyes widening, Lex let the cup thud on the ground. 

Shit.

-

Lex wasn’t quite sure what the drug was that they were lacing the water with, but whatever it was was incredibly powerful. And putting it in the water made it unavoidable; although, to be fair, Lex didn’t know how long he could go without eating, especially if the food were to be sitting right in front of him.

At first, the drug only seemed to amplify the tricks his brain was already: creating shadow and colors in the corners of his eyes, causing him to hear phantom voices, giving the darkness a physical weight that seemed to press down on Lex until he felt as if he was suffocating.

But, after what Lex estimated to be a half dozen “meals”—although he had no clue what that translated into days—it was as if the drug had grown more powerful. 

Now, Lex was seeing full-fledged shadow creatures prowling towards him, reaching out with wickedly sharp claws and teeth. He was hearing distinct voices: those of Bray, his mom, his dad, Isaac, the rest of his squad. They were calling for him, begging him to save them, screaming in agony.

Most of his time, now, Lex spent curled up in the corner, making himself as small as possible, with his eyes squeezed shut and his hands clamped over his ears, nails digging into his skin and carving throbbing crescents.

After an eternity, stuck in his own silent hell, Lex heard… something. He lifted his head, hands falling down to curl protectively in front of his chest, eyes wide and bewildered.

Slowly, so slowly Lex thought he may actually have finally lost it, the metal door groaned and creaked, until a sliver of light was visible.

Hissing, Lex looked away, his eyes having grown used to the total darkness, as a familiar pair of boots stopped in front of him.

“Let’s have a chat now, shall we?” Captain Hawk said, and Lex could hear the smirk in his voice.

---

Taglist: @ailesswhumptober @theelvishcowgirl @misspelledwitch @i-eat-worlds @shywhumpauthor @the-dump-of-whump @cypher-antiquity

[authorazurite]

So, it's finally done

https://archiveofourown.org/works/63554986

I can get back to the other SAH Fics now, thank god.

Honestly I'm not even sure about this fic because after a point it really began to feel like I was pulling the plot out of my ass despite having put forethought into it... I dunno.

I'm getting a bit insecure about my pacing and whatnot so any and all feedback is appreciated.

[beinggayisreallyexpensive]

In my Jeanne d'Arc era

[uwuthomasuwu]

Anyone else see The Spider at the ass crack of dawn every morning but only when opening your right eye or is that just me?

[recurring-polynya]

i feel like gdocs has introduced some new "drag highlighted text" thing, but it's very sensitive. I do not want to drag, I want to select, cut and then paste and it is destroying my workflow and I cannot figure out how to turn it off.

[mudsbray]

i got so into m3 last night again taht imade myself sick